#i feel for myself because the person i knew disappeared the moment i moved in with him

[cosmojjong]

my ex really said this to me once. he implied my degrees were useless and that i needed to get into something better because "he didn't want his children to be ashamed of their mother".

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Oral Arguments

Pairing: Husband!Bucky x Female!Doctor!Reader

Word Count: 2,072

Warnings: oral sex

A/N: I’m not usually a fan of the Y/N and Y/L/N thing, but needs must. Sorry, I just had to vent about this personal issue. Thank you Daisy @firefly-graphics for this banner!

It was late when you finally crawled into bed. Bucky was already there, for once. 

“Hey, doll!”

“That’s Doctor Y/L/N to you, buddy,” you poked him angrily in the chest.  “Not Mrs. Bucky Barnes!”

Bucky’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, shocked by your sudden outburst. He had no chance to make a rebuttal as you continued with your rant.

“Just because I’m a woman, it doesn’t make me any less of a doctor… or professional, for that matter,” you grumbled.

“Of course it doesn’t.”

You continued without listening to his response. “I hate that parents say ‘tell the lady what’s wrong’ but with male doctors it’s ‘tell the doctor’.”

Even though he longed to interrupt with words of comfort, Bucky suspected that you wouldn’t take very kindly to it at this particular moment in time. 

“I’m sick of being known as somebody’s appendage. I worked my ass off to get my degree and to hold the position I do now and it’s infuriating that it means nothing.”

You barely noticed the look of shock and worry on Bucky’s face as you vented your frustrations.

“This is your fault, that’s what it is!” You turned to him and poked him in the chest with your index finger.

“M-my fault?” Bucky asked, eyes widening with surprise.

“Yeah! You had to go and make me fall in love with you and marry you!” you pouted. 

“Oh, well then I guess I’m guilty as charged. I don’t regret it,” Bucky smiled, relief washing over him.

“Well now it’s all Mrs. Barnes this, Mrs. Barnes that. I mean these are the same people who once called me Dr. Y/L/N. Just because I’m married I suddenly lose my title. It’s not fair. I hate that I have to work twice as hard to prove myself of being capable.”

“I know, doll.”

“It’s exhausting.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine.”

Suddenly you felt incredibly dejected and your shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry… for yelling. I shouldn’t have.”

“You have every right to get the respect you deserve.” Bucky out his large hands on your arms, gently rubbing them.

“You know I love being your wife. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But not I’m just-”

“My wife?”

You sighed, feeling deflated and completely out of steam.

“I know just the thing!” Bucky’s lips twitched with mischief. “Turn around.”

You did as he asked and Bucky shuffled up behind you, his long thick fingers massaging the knots from your shoulder blades, making you moan in pleasure, and sending pulses of warmth through your neurons. You could feel the knots of tension ebb away with the kneading of his strong digits. Slowly, his touch softened to feather light brushes across your bare shoulders.

The tip of Bucky’s nose tickled your neck, taking in your scent: jasmine and watery cyclamen shampoo. His warm breath sent shivers down your arms as he traced the contour of your neck; lips followed in suit, sweeping the skin on the nape. Bucky moved closer, his chest flush against your back as he nibbled at the helix of your ear, teeth gently scraping your skin.

“Buck, that tickles,” you giggled and turned to face him.

Tilting your face up to meet his eyes, you met his gentle soft look of adoration. You could feel his love and devotion and an almost schoolgirl blush rose to your cheeks.

“Buck, I-” you opened your mouth to thank him, but he silenced you gently with a tap of his finger to your upper lip.

“Shhh, you deserve nothing but the best.”

He traced the outline of your lips, grazing the grooves first with his forefinger, but as you closed your eyes to enjoy the sweet sensation, the texture of his contact changed. Tantalizingly, his lips danced the tango with yours, you breathed in the scent of scotch, and knew that he had indulged in a nightcap before you had rather obtrusively invaded his peaceful evening. Tilting your head back and lifting your jaw, you reached forward longingly, craving the taste of his tongue, his own unique twist of coffee and whiskey. Except that his mouth was just out of reach, guarded by this handsome nose. Every step you took to claim his lips was countered gracefully with the nuzzle of his nose against yours. Unable to satisfy your craving, you opened your eyes to glare into those sapphire orbs, which you knew would stoke the fire that was already raging inside of you. His eyes were wide open, pupils dilated, waiting to meet your gaze, filled with mirth and lust.

“You know it drives me nuts when you tease me like this.”

His lips turned upwards into a smirk at your words, but he remained frustratingly silent, so unlike your smooth-talking husband who always had an opinion, always something to say.

Instead, his thumb stroked the notch of your clavicle tenderly, his fingers working their way across your shoulder, slipping off the silky strap of your chemise. For every motion his fingers made, his eyes never left yours, his attention never waning, even when they brushed your nipple, making you gasp and lean back into his chest. His hand lingered on your bosom, as the other explored the remainder of your body, roaming over your arm, across your stomach, stroking your thighs. Up and down, his hand glided over your frame, every caress did nothing but ignite an insatiable yearning, a longing to be filled.

Each seductive slide, the occasional tantalizing twirl, he edged closer to satisfying your ever increasing desire but never quite giving you the relief you craved. Releasing you from his embrace, Bucky lowered you down onto the pillows behind you, stopping for a moment, only to gently brush the stray strand of hair from your face and give you an adoring smile before returning to his ministrations. His mouth left a blazing trail of kisses from your jaw, down your chest and belly, stopping short of giving you any real pleasure, only adding fuel to the tempestuous flame that raged at your core.

The base of his palm nestled itself on your pubic symphysis as comfortably as though it was made to be there. The pressure applied by his digits made you whimper longingly, each push at the fabric of your underwear made you buck your hips wantonly with the smallest of hopes that he would give you the release you desired. Keeping his hand hovering over the wetness permeating your panties, he placed a hand between your thighs, pulling them apart, splaying your legs, making a great show of his microscopic examination of your personal anatomy.

Finally you could no longer take the agonizing wait for your own gratification, the words burst from your mouth without thought or control, “Bucky please, could you just fuck me already?”

“Gladly,” he growled, although you could barely hear him over the blood coursing through your vessels.

Bucky was rarely one to rush into things headlong, rarely. Pushing aside the small strip of material covering your dripping slit, he slid his fingers between your folds, sending a burst of ecstacy spiraling through to your fingertips. Ever so slowly he parted your lips, lowering himself between them. 

You held your breath in anticipation of what you knew was coming, his eyes told you exactly what he intended. Despite the promise of pleasure, you weren’t prepared for the electrifying sensation that burst through you as Bucky’s tongue touched your clit. This was only the first of a series of impulses, delightful, delicious, delectable, dazzling, delirious! They fired through your nervous system, sending waves of euphoria to every fiber of your being. Twirling, flicking, sucking, he devoured you with fervor. Within minutes you felt dangerously close to coming undone, your body undulated with the rhythm of his tongue. It was a struggle to keep your eyes on him, your hands clutched at the sheets; he was certainly enjoying watching you unravel at the seams. 

Just as you thought you couldn’t stand it anymore, Bucky made you cry out as he slipped two fingers inside you, flexing them slightly into the shape of a hook as he dragged them in and out of your leaking center. The thrusts weren’t hard, neither were they fast, just paced, the same as the stroke of his tongue. Together they massaged the small bundle of nerves to reach your zenith, making you convulse in bliss as your orgasm finally hit, like a tidal wave, strong with its first impact but spreading far and wide, filling every nook and every cranny in its fluidity.  He continued to milk you through your climax, until the tide ebbed away, leaving you lying on the beach of paradise.

Needless to say, he looked rather proud of himself, as he rose from his position. Bucky pulled back the scrunched up material of your lacy garment, smoothing away the creases before leaving a chaste kiss on your silk covered lips.

“One of those would be nice up here, too,” you smiled, pointing at your mouth. 

Still sat between your open legs, Bucky leaned over to indulge you in a real kiss. And even as his tongue worked its magic in a whole new way, you became aware of his throbbing appendage as it pressed against you, begging for attention.

“Buck, do you want me to take care of that for you?” you breathed out between kisses.

He finally spoke, “no, it’s fine. Today is about you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind… in fact, I want to.”

“It’s ok, I got this,” he rose to go to the bathroom.

“Buck!” you called after him, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Wait!”

He turned to look at you expectantly.

“Stay?” you asked hopefully, then hesitantly, “if you don’t mind, I- I’d like to watch.”

His eyes darkened. “Really?”

You patted at the space between your legs. “Only if you want to.”

Bucky crawled back to the space he had not long evacuated and it occurred to you that he suddenly looked a little unsure of himself. This wasn’t something either of you had done previously.

“You probably need to remove your pants to deal with that,” you nodded at the bulge in his pants that seemed to be ever increasing.”

“Doctor’s orders?”

“I recommend removal for thorough examination,” you sat up, curled your legs beneath you and leaned closer for a view.

The tables had turned and now your husband was the one sitting exposed between your legs. He stood to attention before your eyes, hard and erect, with a glisten at the head which told you he was ready for action. The urge to reach out and stroke him was strong, but you held your hands away, as he had asked. Your breath came hard and fast as you watched Bucky work his hand up and down his length. 

Mesmerized, you found it impossible to tear your eyes away from the way Bucky’s fingers slid over the ridges of his erection, the well defined grooves that frequently drove you crazy when he pushed inside you. Intently you watched, that was until you felt Bucky’s eyes boring into you. Your gaze snapped up to meet his. The smirk on his lips was bigger than ever and for the first time all evening, you felt a blush creep into your already flushed cheeks, the garnacha rosé turning a merlot red. You bit your lip and smiled shyly. It was Bucky who broke eye contact, as his eyes rolled back and his eyelids fluttered furiously.

“Doll, pass me a condom- quickly.” 

“Why?”

“Easier clean up,” he muttered breathlessly. 

“I have a better idea,” you pointed at your mouth. 

There was no time for objections or closing arguments, the verdict was in. Panting slightly, he nodded and you nimbly scooted around to place your mouth at his tip, in time to see him shudder and catch the eruption of his sweet silvery elixir. Bucky did his best to keep his gaze glued to yours, as you swallowed the luscious nectar of his rapture, giving his tip a quick but unauthorized kiss. He watched as you withdrew your lips, stained with succulent drops of milky paradise.

Both of you lay back on the pile of pillows behind you, much more relaxed than you had been before.

“Buck?” you called tentatively.

“Mmmm?” he hummed in response.

“You can call me Mrs. Barnes whenever you like.”

[fushigur0ll]

SMILE FOR ME?

꒰ ♡ ꒱ — miles says something that hurts your feelings and is trying to make up for that

includes; black fem reader, a bit angsty, fluff at the end, kisses, nicknames like ma, baby, mami and etc

“baby open the door” he sighs, leaning his forehead against your bathroom door. his heart hurts every time he hears you sob and sniffle..all because of him.

“leave me alone miles, i don’t want to deal with you right now” you breathe out shakily, wiping your eyes and cheeks from the tears. “i really don’t so please just leave”

he closes his eyes and stays still, not wanting to leave and allow you to be by yourself. it’s not the first time that you both have your arguments and disagreements. you both start quarrelling then to the both of you distancing to calm down before coming back to speak to one another calmly. just 3 simple steps that’s gotten you both a long way into the relationship but it seems as you were still stuck in the second step; distancing.

he knows what he said was wrong, he didn’t mean it and he genuinely isn’t lying it wasn’t even supposed to come out of his mouth- the thought wasn’t even directed towards you— he doesn’t even know anymore he just want to reconcile with you and hold you again. but he knew the moment what he said hurt you by the look in your eyes. the way your waterline filled with tears, an expression of heartbreak and your body slowly going from tense and confident to relaxed and defeated. the room was quiet and all you both did was stare at each-other. miles was just trying to find something to say when he looks at the tears slowly cascading down your brown cheeks, another hole opens in his heart.

“baby..” he stutters a bit but you turn and walk towards the bathroom, closing the door behind you as you sit on the floor of the small room, crying into your hands replaying those same 6 words again and again

“i wish i never met you”

to someone else, possibly, it could seem that she is overreacting but to you it tore you into some indescribable. miles is the type of person to keep everything to himself but when he met you all of that changed and was happy he did meet you, he really did. so now him saying he never wished he did, felt like you've just been stringed along this entire time. you know he said it out of anger and you know he didn't mean it but the thoughts swarming in your head, the train of thoughts being filled with passengers of insecurities overrules it in a millisecond.

“ ‘m not leaving” he shakes his head, sighing softly. “please just let me explain myself— explain what miles?” you cut him off abruptly, roughly rubbing your now irritated eye.

“you said it, it’s been said and it seems like you’ve been meaning to say it for a while now” you mumbled, not having the energy to even speak.

“i was just- ma, i was just overthinking and you were just talking to me at the same time so it was just too much for me to focus in that moment baby okay? i’m sorry” he apologizes, his expression turned into a slight look of desperation. “open the door for me? please?” he asks, quietly.

again it was silent and it was something he didn’t like either. the silence continues for at least 2 minutes before he hears the door unlock and open. he is revealed to his tired looking girl, eyes red and puffy from crying, and body stance just lazy looking all ready to give up.

he stares at you with a look of guilt and regret. he walks towards you slowly and cups your face into his calloused hands , just watching your every move 'n seeing you lean into his warm hands, closing your eyes with a quiet sigh, not knowing what say towards your boyfriend at all in the moment. it was just like that for what felt like forever. just him watching your face and all of your features carefully like he wouldn't remember If you were to just disappear right now.

"baby I-" he cuts himself off, wanting to word his messed up and crazy thoughts properly. "I love you- I'm in love with you" he mumbles, rubbing his thumb back and forth along your cheek and getting you to open your red eyes to look at him tiredly. "I never. ever. want you not to be in my life…no lo entiendes (you don’t understand), I need you." his voice gets deeper but softer as he moves his head closer to yours, placing his forehead gently on your own. "today I failed you as your boyfriend by saying something that I didn't even mean to you..I know what I said was wrong, I do mama, I do. I never meant to hurt you…" he whispers, pecking your lips softly. "I can't and wouldn't ever leave you alone, knowing I hurt you like this and enough to make you cry…thats something I wouldn't be able to even go up to my mother and tell her" he chuckles half heartedly, shaking his head and exhaling.

"..I am really sorry mami" he then kisses you deeply, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you in closer just to feel your body against his own. you sigh once more, hugging him and kissing him back with two hands on either side of his face. he relaxes and picks you up, lips still intact and carries you to your bed, sitting down and placing you on his lap. you both separate for some air, panting lightly with you both just staring at each other again. he cups your face with one hand, looking at you straight in the eye with a soft look. "you're so beautiful" you frown and let a tear push out your eye but it didn't get a chance to roll down your cheek because of miles wiping it away. "no more crying okay? im so so sorry" he rubs your back.

"smile for me?…please?" he asks, watching you sniffle but slowly move the corner of your lips upwards into that beautiful smile of yours, so damn contagious it makes him give you that sweet small smile back. you now smile wider and hug him tightly once again.

"please don't do that ever again" you whisper, cheek against his shoulder. he nods and kisses your temple longingly.

"I won't even think of yelling at you again" he promises to himself and to you.

"I promise"

fushigur0ll © 2022 all rights reserved. do not plagarize, translate, or post to other sites please.

[raysrays]

Crimson Guardian Part2 NSFW

Please check out Part One

Kyojuro Rengoku x Wife! Reader

18+ MDNI!🚫

CW: NSFW Content, minor angst, controlling/manipulating behavior, fluff-ish.

Y/N POV

Scenario: Once you agree to Kyojuro's request, you gather with Kagaya and the other Hashira to share your decision to retire early. But as you spend time with Kyojuro, you start noticing some changes in his behavior. You can't help but wonder, did you make a big mistake? He's your husband, after all. Surely, he wouldn't try to control or manipulate you. Maybe he's just worried about your safety and wants the best for you, right?

- Two Endings

A month had passed since I laid down my sword for the last time. I've spent my time at the Rengoku Estate as I had anticipated, assisting Senjuro with chores and cooking, while striving to earn Shinjuro's favor.

However, it all felt sluggish my days stretched out, feeling so unproductive.

Kyojuro was called on a mission far away, and he's been gone for almost two weeks now. I find myself overcome with loneliness, feeling hollow inside.

When I wasn't busy helping Senjuro, I often took walks and started getting into reading, though lately, I've found myself drawn to books on swordsmanship and battle techniques. It might seem pointless now, but it's all I have to occupy my mind.

Many times, I caught myself pacing around the estate, practicing fighting stances or swinging an imaginary sword, earning some strange looks from anyone nearby.

But I couldn't bring myself to share any of this with Kyojuro. I wanted him to believe I had moved on from being a demon slayer. Instead, I painted a picture of focusing on myself and preparing for the prospect of starting a family.

I've been writing to him almost every day since he left, keeping him updated on what's been happening back home and just checking in on him.

He says his mission has been successful so far, and he should be home very soon, which is good news. It's difficult to fully embrace retirement when the person you did it for isn't even here to enjoy it with you.

.

.

Today has been particularly slow. All I've done is help water the plants outside and dive deeper into my books. Shinjuro has been in his room, drinking, while Senjuro has been practicing his writing inside. And here I am, sitting under this same tree, reading the same book on breathing techniques for the past three hours...

However, my entire mood shifted the moment I heard the cawing of a crow announcing Kyojuro's return from his mission. He was finally home.

I could feel the excitement as I watched him walk through the gates of the estate, his big, bright eyes and fiery hair a welcome sight.

It didn't take long for him to spot me, as he quickly ran up and grabbed me, spinning me around in his arms.

"I've missed you so much, my little flame!" His booming voice was a comforting sound to hear in this moment.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he held me.

"I missed you so much, Kyo." It didn't take long for that hollow feeling I had earlier to finally disappear.

After he finally put me down, he pulled away to get a better look at me, scanning me up and down with his usual happy smile.

"You look so beautiful, my dear. Retirement seems to be treating you well already!"

"Oh, do you really think so?"

"Of course, sunflower. It's good to finally see you dressed casually and enjoying yourself at home. One of the main reasons my mission was such a success was because I wasn't worried about you. I knew you would be here waiting for me when I returned. I knew you would be safe."

I almost felt guilty. Since he left, I've been so bored out of my mind, stuck here at the estate, but if it’s really helping by keeping his mind at ease while he’s away I guess I don’t mind.

"How are you doing, my love? I know writing in letters can only reveal so much. Are you really okay?"

His voice softened, and his smile grew gentler. My heart raced at the sound. No matter how much time passed, I was still as in love and attracted to Kyojuro as I was the first time we met.

"Yes, I'm doing great. Senjuro and I have been quite productive lately. We even discussed setting up a small vegetable garden in the yard to reduce our trips to the village market." I forced a happy smile onto my face.

"That's wonderful news! I'm so happy you're finally making this old place your own." He then pulled me into another hug, burying me in his chest.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth—that I was bored and missed the core and all my comrades and friends. They had all become so busy with work that I went from seeing them every day to never at all, so quickly.

As I relaxed into his embrace, I felt his body tense slightly. He pulled away from me slowly, his expression puzzled.

"Sunflower... what is it you're reading?"

I glanced behind me to see my book still lying on the ground, its cover exposed. It was just a book, surely not that significant.

"Oh, that's just an old breathing technique book I found in the study room. I thought it looked the most interesting out of the available options."

He looked at me for a moment, then took my hands in his, holding them tightly.

"My love, if you had told me you wanted to read, I would have gladly bought you as many books as you wanted. You don't need to waste your time sitting and reading about attacks and breathing techniques anymore." His voice was filled with concern.

Little did he know, I chose this book specifically to occupy my mind. If I couldn't fight anymore, the least I could do was read about it.

"That's sweet of you, Kyo, but honestly, I don't mind."

His smile returned somewhat, and he moved his hands to hold my shoulders, gently leading me back to the main part of the estate.

"Let's get you inside, my love. I'll tell you all about my mission!"

I allowed him to guide me back, passing Senjuro on the way.

"Go ahead, little flame. I need to have a word with Senjuro."

I observe as he starts walking toward his younger brother; they engage in conversation, and I begin to make my way indoors.

Despite my initial intention to leave, a strange hesitation washes over me. I linger by the doorframe, eavesdropping on their discussion.

Senjuro's voice reaches me first. "Welcome home, brother. How was your mission?"

"It went smoothly. I'm relieved to be back," he responds, pausing briefly.

"Senjuro, how's Y/N? Have you noticed anything unusual about her lately?" My ears perk up at the mention of my name.

"Y/N? She seems fine, I suppose. She's been quite helpful with chores around here," Senjuro replies.

"I see. Have you noticed her reading more?" he probes further.

"I think so. Though I'm not sure what she's been reading," Senjuro admits.

"I see. Please, keep an eye on her for me, Senjuro. I'm concerned," Kyojuro says, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Concerned about her reading?" Senjuro's confusion is evident.

"No, just in general."

With that, I turned away from the door, deciding it was best to stop listening in.

Why would Kyojuro worry about me? I'm safe at home, just like he wanted. Wasn't that the whole point of being here? To ease his mind?

I can feel a mix of frustration brewing inside me, and I'm not sure if it's aimed at Kyojuro or myself. I've always prided myself on my swordsmanship, setting high goals and pushing myself hard to protect others and find purpose.

But now, I can't even enjoy reading a book about what I love without making my husband worry.

I step into the kitchen, ready to get a head start on preparing dinner. Gathering the cooking utensils and spices, I realize all that's left is to chop some of the vegetables.

As I rinse them off, I notice we're short on a few key ingredients.

My garden plans with Senjuro would have been perfect right now. Looks like I'll have to make another trip to the market.

Letting out a small sigh, I tidy up and head towards the door to slip on my shoes. Honestly, I could use some fresh air. I feel guilty leaving knowing Kyojuro just got here, but I think he’d much rather dinner be super good than complain about me stepping out.

I had a stranger Lingering feeling. There's something about his smile that feels off, like there's a hidden pressure behind it. Why?

As I'm slipping on my shoes, I sense someone standing over me.

"Where are you off to, sunflower?" Kyojuro inquires.

"Just getting a head start on dinner and realized we're missing a few things. I was about to run to the market," I reply.

"Hurry back to me, my love. You know I don't like it when you're away." His warm smile could melt anyone's heart.

He plants a kiss on my cheek before heading back into the other room.

As much as I adore him and miss him, I need just a moment alone to think right now.

As I make my way to the village, I pick up some vegetables, meat, and a few other things we need for the estate. On my way back, I spot Tengen and his wives. They seem to notice me too, especially Makio, who starts waving enthusiastically in my direction.

I walk over to them, feeling happy to finally see some familiar faces. It feels like it's been ages since we last caught up.

“Y/N, it's good to see you," Tengen greets warmly.

“How have you been? We haven’t seen you in forever!” Makio cries out excitedly.

"I've been well, how are all of you?"

"We've been doing just great," he responds.

"How's, uh, retirement?" Hina asks with a half smile.

"Oh, retirement has been... great," I reply, attempting to sound convincing, though I'm not entirely sure I believe it myself.

Tengen lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Sorry, but it's just so hard to believe. You had one of the flashiest breathing styles and trained almost every day, only to retire before becoming a Hashira. I just always thought you were too stubborn to quit so early.”

Hina shoots him a quick glare.

But it's all true; Tengen and his wives have been around since before the beginning of my and Kyojuro’s relationship, training with us, going on missions, and even just hanging out together casually.

They exchange silent glances for a moment and I notice Tengen’s expression change into a more serious one.

"Y/N, Kyojuro is one of my closest friends, and it's really not my place, but... do you think maybe you decided all that just a tad too quickly?" Tengen sounds more sincere this time.

"I mean, you were on your way to becoming a Hashira yourself," Suma adds.

Taking a deep breath, I realize they're right, but I already knew that. I wasn’t the one they should be lecturing in this scenario. I never wanted to retire; I just wanted to make Kyojuro happy.

"I promise. This is a decision I've made. I want to settle down and start a family with Kyo. I wouldn’t want to risk going out on a mission and dying before having that opportunity," I assert.

Though they still seem unconvinced, Tengen puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Kyojuro's a lucky man to have someone who cares about him so much. However, I think you should stay in tune with your training for now.”

“You are still so young, Y/N! It’s always possible that once you have children, you could potentially want to come out of retirement. Maybe be a trainer for young slayers!” Makio adds with a hopeful tone.

Suddenly, my spirits lift. They were right. Just because I retire now doesn’t mean I can’t come out of retirement in a few years. As long as I keep training at home, I should be fine!

“I suppose you are all right. I will definitely keep training. I’m sure Kyo will think that’s a great idea.”

“That’s the spirit. I’m glad we got to run into you,” Tengen says with his usual smile.

“I’m glad I got to see all of you. I promise I’ll try to make an effort to come around more.”

“That sounds perfect,” Hina exclaimed.

After we exchange our goodbyes, I watch them walk off together, smiling and talking.

A wave of realization and relief washes over me. Maybe retirement didn’t have to be as bad as I was making it out to be.

.

.

Upon finally arriving back at the estate, I walked up to the entrance with a smile on my face.

I recalled there was a book in the study that taught some solo hand-to-hand combat techniques, perfect for practicing alone. I made a mental note to pick it up once I returned and start reading it after dinner.

As I entered, Senjuro greeted me with a warm smile.

“Welcome back, Y/N. I’ll finish up dinner since you went out of your way to get everything,” he offered kindly.

“Oh, you don’t have to do all that. I don’t mind,” I replied.

“I insist. You haven’t seen my brother for a while now, and I think he could use your company,” he chuckled nervously.

I hesitated for a second.

“Okay, only if you're sure,” I said, handing over the basket of food and supplies I had bought from the market.

He headed off to the kitchen, leaving me in the entryway, so I decided to make my way to our bedroom, shared by Kyojuro and me.

As I entered, I noticed he had changed out of his uniform into his more casual attire.

He looked at me with a kind smile on his face.

“I see you made it back safely,” he said, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

He buried his face into the side of my neck, kissing it softly.

I felt myself shiver at his touch. He seemed so gentle and loving right now. I had truly missed him so much these past few weeks.

I gently ran my fingers through his fiery hair as I spoke, "I ran into Tengen and his wives at the market."

He pulled away slightly to look at me, his arms still wrapped around my waist.

"Really? Were they happy to see you?" he asked with a big smile.

"Yes, they were. We hadn't realized it had been so long since we all saw each other."

Kyojuro appeared to be deep in thought. "I suppose you're right. It has been a while since all of us got together. I should arrange for us to have dinner sometime!" he exclaimed happily.

I couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I think that would be lovely."

"What else did you all talk about? You were gone for quite some time," he inquired.

I debated telling him about their suggestion that I should consider keeping up with training and possibly coming out of retirement, but ultimately decided against it.

"Tengen was just telling me about a mission he had gone on recently. Nothing too crazy," I replied.

Kyojuro seemed satisfied with this answer. Why would I lie? I've never had any reason to lie to him before.

"That's great, sunflower. I'm happy you finally got to see some company. You seem so happy!" he remarked, his affection evident in his tone.

We lingered in each other's embrace for a few more moments until Senjuro's voice rang out, announcing that dinner was ready.

Hand in hand, we made our way to the table. Upon arrival, we found Senjuro had already set the table and prepared everything. Surprisingly, Shinjuro was already seated, wearing his usual drunken scowl, but he remained mostly silent.

As we ate, Kyojuro attempted to share details about his recent mission with his father, but received only silence and grunts in response. Despite years of trying, it seemed Kyojuro still sought his father's approval.

It felt kind of pointless to expect anything from Shinjuro. Even though I ended up spending more time with him than with Kyojuro lately, I just kept my distance. Honestly, I think he might even appreciate it.

After a few minutes of listening to Kyojuro, Shinjuro got up and was the first to leave the table, retreating to his room.

Though Kyojuro seemed disappointed, he maintained his neutral smile as he also began to wrap up his meal.

Once we had all finished eating, I stood up to collect the dishes for washing and putting away. However, Senjuro insisted on taking care of everything himself.

Feeling a bit defeated, I abandoned the task and decided to head to the study to grab that training book.

However, upon arrival, I was met with an unsettling sight. All the books were gone, every shelf completely empty...

As I made my way back to my room, confusion swirled within me like never before.

Upon entering, I found Kyojuro already preparing for sleep. His eyes brightened at the sight of me, and he gestured for me to join him under the covers of the futon.

Crawling in beside him, he enveloped me in his arms, pulling me close. With my head against his chest, I felt a sense of comfort wash over me.

"Kyojuro," I speak up.

"What is it, little flame?" He asks planting a kiss on the top of my head.

"What happened to all the books in the study?"

I sense a slight tension in his body at the question.

"I'm not sure, my love. Perhaps father had them moved. I'll make sure to get you some new books soon," he reassures me.

I stay silent, convinced by his explanation. What other reason could there be? Surely, Kyojuro doesn't attach much importance to old books collecting dust for years.

As I lay nestled in Kyo's arms, I feel the weight of exhaustion settling in. His breathing slows, It won't be long before sleep overtakes us both.

.

.

A week had passed, and the books still hadn't reappeared. I'd given up on getting a response out of Shinjuro. And it seemed that Senjuro wasn't even aware of their disappearance, which was even stranger.

So here I was again, under the same tree, rereading the same book for the third time.

Despite this, it was a beautiful day. The sky was bright and the air was refreshing. It would have been a shame not to enjoy it.

With Kyojuro gone early this morning for a hashira meeting, it's just me now, left to ponder my thoughts. I can't help but recall what Tengen and his wives said about keeping up with training.

Honestly, with my doting husband always around, their advice slipped my mind. But now, with some time to myself, I figure it's a good opportunity to get some practice in.

I don't have the exact combat training books I'd like, but I'll make do with what I remember from my days in the core.

Grabbing a wooden sword that Kyojuro and Senjuro sometimes use.

My target? A nearby tree. I start off slow, practicing basic strikes and focusing on my footwork. It's a few hours of intense concentration, but it feels amazing. I didn't realize how much I missed this, the feeling of swinging a sword, the rush of adrenaline with each move. It's like finding a piece of myself I forgot was missing.

My excitement fades as I notice a looming shadow, revealing Kyojuro standing there. Still in his uniform, he must have just returned from the meeting. His expression is stern, arms crossed in clear disapproval.

"What are you doing, Y/N?" His voice is cold, sending a shiver down my spine.

"I was just... training a bit," I reply nervously.

"Training? Training for what?" He begins to approach me, his demeanor serious.

For some reason, I instinctively start to back up as he approaches me. Before I know it, my back is against the tree I was just practicing on.

He closes the distance between us, his face inches from mine. This side of Kyojuro is unfamiliar to me; he appears downright angry.

"Why are you doing this, sunflower? You're inactive in the core, retired. There's absolutely no reason for you to pick up a sword and train again," his voice is harsh.

"I just thought that maybe if I stayed in shape and continued training a bit, perhaps in the future I could come out of retirement. Maybe even help train new slayers coming out of final selection," I suggest.

- Ending One (Positive fluff)

He gazes at me, his expression filled with confusion. “Sunflower, why would you want that? I thought the whole point of you wanting to retire was to be at home with me, to start a family together.”

Taking a deep breath, I realize I need to be honest and ip front with him now. Kyojuro is my husband, and if he truly loves me, he'll understand.

Slowly, I reach out and take his hand, bringing it up to rest against my chest.

“Kyojuro, I love you more than anything, and I want to start a family and be with you more than anything. But I also have to pursue the things that make me happy. Fighting alongside you and our friends has always been one of those things,” I explain, hoping he'll see my perspective.

His eyes soften, and I can tell he feels guilty for not considering my happiness more deeply.

"I'm still scared, Y/N. I'm scared of losing the love of my life, my wife. If you continue being a demon slayer, there will be times when I won't be able to protect you. Times when you'll be in situations where you'll have to fight to the death to defend yourself," he admits, his voice filled with worry.

He's right. There will be moments when I'll have to risk my life for the sake of others. But that's exactly why I signed up for this. That's what I want to do, with him by my side.

Gently, I lift his hand to my lips and place a kiss on his knuckles, mirroring the affection he always shows me.

"I'll fight until my last breath for a life without demons, so that hopefully someday us and our children can live the life we deserve," I declare softly.

He removes his hand from mine placing is on my cheek. His gaze loving and caring now.

“You never cease to set my heart ablaze little flame. You always make me remember that powerful spirit I fell in love with. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for being so selfish.”

It makes me feel better that he also acknowledges how he’s been acting lately. It makes me feel more validated that I wasn’t completely going crazy. And still I forgive him.

I know Kyojuro’s heart, I know how pure and kind it is, and I know he would never do anything to harm me or keep me alway from something I’m so passionate about.

He pulls me into his embrace wrapping his arms protectively around me.

“I want you to be happy my love, it was wrong of me to try and control someone as amazing as you. I will do everything I can to support and protect you. Wether it’s here at home, or out on the battle field.”

His words melt my heart.

He removes his hand from mine, placing it gently on my cheek. His gaze softens, filled with love and care.

"You never fail to ignite my heart, little flame. You always remind me of the powerful spirit I fell in love with. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for being so selfish," he confesses.

His acknowledgment of his recent behavior brings me some comfort. It validates my feelings and assures me that I'm not imagining things. And yet, I find it in my heart to forgive him.

I know Kyojuro's heart, its purity and kindness. I trust that he would never intentionally harm me or stand in the way of my passions.

Pulling me into his embrace, he wraps his arms protectively around me.

"I want nothing more than your happiness, my love. It was wrong of me to try to control someone as incredible as you. I'll do everything in my power to support and protect you, whether it's here at home or out on the battlefield," he promises.

This was the man I fell in love with, the man I vowed to spend my dying days with. I’m certain that I made the right decision.

.

.

.

- Ending Two (Angsty Smut)

He shakes his head. "No. No way. If you're going to stay retired, then you need to stay retired. That was the deal. I won't risk losing you. You're far too precious to me." His tone is softer now, but still firm.

"But why can't I just practice for a bit?"

"Because this isn't what you want. You don't actually want this. It's not your passion. This is only because of your past life." He's more serious than ever.

"What's so wrong with me wanting to stay sharp?"

"You're supposed to be focusing on your future and your new life with me! And you can't do that if you keep holding onto your past. It's not a part of who you are anymore."

His words strike me. Was it so bad that I wanted to practice and maybe eventually come back?

"This is the last thing we're going to discuss. As a Hashira, I have the authority to confiscate your weapon, so hand it over. From this point forward, I will not tolerate you engaging in anything remotely related to demon slaying."

I reluctantly hand over my wooden sword. My heart drops, and tears begin to well up in my eyes.

"Y/N. I'm sorry, my love, but this is for the best. It's only because I love you." His voice softens, his expression more forgiving.

I'm filled with anger. Why is he acting like this? Why doesn't he want to fight alongside me anymore? Balancing our relationship and our profession is tough, but plenty of people make it work.

Why does he seem to think it's impossible for me to fight? I am strong. I've always been strong.

His thumb brushes away a tear from my eye as I lift my head to look at him.

This time, his expression changes.

He leans in close to my ear and whispers, "If you won't listen to me, I'll just have to give you a reason to stay off your feet."

A shiver runs down my spine as his lips meet mine, his hands holding my hips firmly in place.

Before I know it, he's lifting me over his shoulder and carrying me back into the estate.

“Kyo, put me down! Let's just talk!” I protest, trying to wriggle out of his grasp.

He takes me to our bedroom and pins me down on the futon.

“There’s nothing more to say, sunflower. If I can't keep you from fighting anymore, maybe having a child will,” he says, his voice tinged with desire.

I open my mouth to speak, but his lips on mine cut me off. His tongue pushes its way inside, making its way around my mouth.

I try to pull away, but his hands hold my head in place, and the taste of his mouth is overwhelming.

When he finally pulls away, I'm breathless.

He leans in, kissing and biting at my neck. His hands move down my body, grabbing and squeezing my breasts and my waist.

I let out a small whimper as he sucks and bites at my skin.

Suddenly, I feel his fingers brush against my entrance through my clothes.

He pulls away to look at me. "Already so wet for me, and we've barely done anything. Were you doing all of this to make me angry on purpose?”

My face burns with embarrassment, but I can't help but crave his touch.

He grabs my hands and pins them above my head, staring into my eyes with a mischievous smile.

"You want this, don't you, sunflower?" He asks as his free hand caresses my face.

I nod desperately, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Then beg for it," he commands, his loving voice contested his actions.

"Please, Kyo, please I need it. I need you."

He releases his grip on my wrists and moves to undo his pants.

"There’s my little flame."

He lines himself up with my entrance, slowly pushing himself inside.

I try not to tense, feeling my walls stretch to accommodate him.

He lets out a low groan, his warm breath tickling my ear.

He waits for a moment before beginning to thrust into me, each movement deeper than the last.

I gasp and moan beneath him, gripping his shoulders.

He lets out a groan as he bottoms out.

"Mine," he whispers before placing a kiss on my forehead.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

He begins to move again, thrusting harder and faster. I'm filled with so much pleasure that I'm seeing stars.

I can feel myself getting closer to the edge, but just before I can finish, he stops.

"Kyo, please, I need it." I whine.

"Not yet, my love.” he replies, his voice heavy with lust.

He pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty and unsatisfied.

He flips me over and pushes my head into the pillow, my ass now in the air.

"Don't worry, little flame, I'm not finished with you just yet."

He enters me again, gripping my hips tightly as he pounds into me from behind.

"I can't wait to have you pregnant. You're going to look so beautiful."

He reaches a hand around to rub my clit, bringing me even closer to my peak.

I try to hold back my moans and he touches me. His words only make me feel hotter.

I can feel myself getting closer once again, and he seems to notice as well.

"Do you want to finish, my love?"

"Yes, yes please," I beg.

He increases the speed of his thrusts, hitting all the right spots inside of me.

I can feel myself approaching the edge again, and he continues to push me towards it.

"I'm going to fill you up, my love. Make you mine.”

His thrusts grow more erratic as he reaches his peak, releasing deep inside of me.

I collapse onto the futon , completely exhausted.

Kyojuro rolls off me and lays beside me, pulling me into his chest. I cuddled into him.

"We're going to be so happy, Y/N. Just you, me, and our child. Everything is going to be perfect," he reassures me, running his fingers through my hair.

I'm too tired to respond, so I just listen to the sound of his heartbeat and his breathing.

"I love you, sunflower. No matter what, you're mine.”

Sorry this one took me so long to get out, I hope you all enjoyed it! I’d love to hear your feedback!

[babygirlwritessmut]

♡︎ part1. my new roommate

・❥・pairing: vi (arcane) x fem!reader

・❥・ summary: you`ve got a new roommate as you moved for uni, you are trying to built a descent relationship with her but she is stubborn. the main problem is that she makes you really nervous.

・❥・ genre: grumpy x sunshine

・❥・ word count: 2k

✎ warnings: drug use (weed), smoking, swearing

RIDE ON ME masterlist

after moving to another city for university, you found out that there was no room in the dormitory and you were put on the waiting list. the dormitory staff reported that the approximate waiting time for a place in a room is about 2-3 months. unfortunately, you weren't accepted to the university right away due to problems with documents, so booking a bed beforehand didn't make any sense, because you could be refused by university at any time.

however, everything has its advantages, living in your own apartment provided those: you cannot worry about the curfew, your things will not suddenly disappear, smoking was not prohibited, although you tried to rid yourself of this disgusting habit - periodic slips were not an exception, unfortunately.

that's why you decided to find a place to stay a week before the train to the new city. either housing on the outskirts of the city, which would entail an hour and a half to get to the university or renting for two – that’s your options that would fit your budget. so, the neighbor it is. you tried to reassure yourself that this is also better than a dormitory, in your case you could at least choose a roommate...

after several days of searching, you came across an ad in which it was stated that a 23-year-old female is looking for a roommate, the apartment has 2 bedrooms and a kitchen, there are appliances, shared utilities. according to the map, it was only 20 minutes away from the university. isn't that great? you immediately responded to the ad and a girl named Vi gave you all the necessary details. if you only knew how much she would change your life.

--------------------------------------------------------

"I'll be there in 15 minutes. see you later" - you sent a text to your future roommate, exhaling from tension, you were nervous before meeting her. she wasn't very chatty on text, you didn't even see her pic, if it wasn't for the verified website, you'd think you were walking into a trap for some pervert.

"no, no, come on, she's probably just very quiet, it`s even for the better, you won`t disturb each other" - you thought to yourself - "no need to make myself nervous, this is a new step in my life and I'm sure that everything will be great"

after you arrived at the station of a new city, your phone vibrated. this is a text from Vi - "ok".

“are the letters expensive or something?” - you said, pushing your suitcase, the poor thing's wheels came apart from the load of the amount of your things.

indeed, exactly 15 minutes later, you were standing at the door of your new apartment, but you could feel an unpleasant excitement throughout your body. you were so tense that the air could be cut around you, exhaling slowly, you mumbled under your breath

“hello Vi, I'm your new neighbor, it's nice to finally meet you in person”, “hello Vi, I'm your new neighbor..”. "enough, why am I nervous at all, it's not that we're going to actually live together, I might not even see her, all day at university, after that I have a job to find, she's just the girl in the next room"

after another minute of self-soothing speech, you finally knocked.

“it`s open” - a voice from inside, somewhat breathless, you noticed. you entered the apartment, from the threshold you smelled the mixture of sweat and weed, this aroma was so unexpected that you thought for a second about whether you had come in the right place. a moment later a muscular figure appeared in front of you, a rather stocky girl with short pink hair was looking at you, she was a little sweaty, her hands were tied with bandages that go under boxing gloves. it's not at all what you expected...

“are you going to keep staring or will you finally come in?” - the girl turned to you a little annoyed

“yes, yes.. hello, Vi, I'm your new neighbor, it's nice to finally...” - you started to say the already prepared phrase with a strained smile, but you were immediately interrupted.

“I know who you are, come in and close the door behind you”

rude.

“follow me, I'll show you your room and the kitchen," - Vi said and immediately went to the left of the exit. out of anticipation, you didn't even take off your outer clothes, but immediately ran after her. the tour took only 30 seconds, you realized that you definitely won't communicate more than you did by text.

“thank you, and your room is on the right of the exit then?” - you asked, trying to keep the same tight smile on your face.

Vi's eyebrow arched – “well, obviously, I see you are smart” - she threw the phrase with painful sarcasm. - "any other questions or can I go now?"

“no, that's all, thanks...” you answered slowly as your smile faded from your face.

“I'll be in my room, if the music disturbs you - knock twice” - you just managed to nod in response. left alone in the middle of your empty room, you felt that you would definitely not become friends.

after such a "warm reception" you decided to start unpacking, before that you cleaned the entire room and the toilet. Vi's music was really playing loudly the whole time, but somehow the thought of making a remark about it scared you a little. after an hour of unpacking, you finally looked around your room.

“very cozy, a few string lights, posters and it will be just like at home” - you were very proud of what you did, but your thoughts were interrupted by a rumbling in your stomach. no one canceled dinner, that's when you had a brilliant idea. even though Vi is not very friendly at first glance, you decided to follow your grandmother's advice - good food always brings people together. after a quick trip to the store, you came home with all the ingredients for pasta carbonara.

"an Italian dinner in less than half an hour is perfect." when all the ingredients were ready - you started cooking, until suddenly you felt this scent again... weed, so it`s treu then, she does smoke in the apartment, this was not in the ad. not that it really bothers you, but actually you just wish you did too.

half an hour later, everything was ready, you found the dishes and necessary utensils, prepared everything for two and went to Vi's door. your palms were a little sweaty from nervousness, for some reason before every thought that there would be even minimal communication with Vi – you were nervous. you stopped in front of the door and as soon as you thought to knock, for some reason you started to worry even more. you started to rub your hands together and shuffle a little, when all of a sudden, the music in the room stopped.

“do you understand that I see you standing outside my room?” - Vi's voice in almost half a tone sounded from the door.

"fuck, there is a gap under the door. this is so embarrassing" - you flinched

“yes, um, sorry, I didn't want to distract from... what whatever you are doing there... well, I prepared dinner... for the two of us. yes. and I would be very happy if you would join me” - you said with a smile, as if she could see you.

the pause of a few seconds seemed like an eternity as the door opened in front of your face and Vi's figure appeared in front of you close enough that you could feel her smell.

“why?” - this question confused you a little.

“well, I want to get to know you, I already understood that we will not communicate closely, but we will still share this apartment, so I think that this time will be useful for us” - you said with your head raised, you wanted to look confident, even though everything was trembling inside you.

unexpectedly for you, Vi smiled a little to herself. just now you noticed what a beautiful face she has, thick eyebrows, little tattoo, deep eyes and an attractive smile, her lips were like... "hey, enough, what am I thinking?" - you stopped yourself.

“ok”

“what?” - you returned to reality.

“dinner. ok. I'll be there in two minutes” - Vi closed the door in front of your face again.

"everything went well... I think..." - you began to reassure yourself, because at least she did agree.

exactly two minutes later Vi came to the kitchen, since there was no table for some reason, you sat down with a plate on the soft sofa in front of the TV. your roommate slowly walked over to the stove that had the food on it, while she was putting food for herself, you got a chance to get a closer look at her. she has a tattoo, it was very hot, the whole back was very well painted, Vi herself was wearing a white tank top that allowed you to admire her muscles a little better. you watched her muscles move depending on what she was doing, how her rather large hands handled the kitchen a little awkwardly. you smiled at this fact, and began to stare at her hands more carefully. they were so big, you started to wonder how they would feel on your body...

“like what you see?” - Vi smirked.

you snap back to reality, this is the third time in a day you're staring, what's going on?

“yes... NO! I mean, yes, but…” - you blushed - “I'm just thinking about what kind of sport you do” – "great, and who is the possible pervert here now?"

Vi smiled again - “boxing, there is a punching bag in my room” - she liked the reaction she made on you.

at dinner you spoke little, but you spoke, it`s a beginning. she didn't tell much, she mainly asked where you came from, what university you're going to and what major.

“international relations, ha. why am I not surprised?" Vi laughed. her laugh was also attractive, just great, you were already nervous around her, now that is added to your list.

“what is this supposed to mean? why are you laughing?” - you asked in surprise.

“your approaches to people and the way you communicate are very... diplomatic,” - Vi admitted.

“thanks, I think...”

after Vi finished her portion, she was about to leave, when you called her – “and what about dessert?”

“I'm already full, but thank you” - "that smile again, why does it affect me so much" - you thought.

you went to the fridge and took a cupcake, then handed it to Vi, hoping she wouldn't notice how you blushed – “maybe you'll want something sweet at night” - you said with a smile, looking into her eyes.

“yes” - Vi looked at you with that smirk again  – “I might want to”

she took the dessert from your hands, your fingers touched each other for a few seconds, you felt as if you were electrocuted. how can a person you saw for the first time in your life evoke so many feelings? after a short silence, you decided that you should go to bed earlier, because tomorrow is an important day.

“okay, I'm glad you liked dinner, I'll clean up and go to bed, I have to go to university tomorrow, so if possible, don't turn on the music loudly” - you took your eyes off Vi.

“fine. good night, cupcake” - Vi's eyes looked at you with a smile and went to her room, closing the door behind her.

“cupcake?”

[stxrvel]

losing myself

memories of how you lost yourself trying to keep your best friend afloat. content. angst, depression and suicidal thoughts. this is post-suguru's death, except the first memory. a/n. i just can't seem to bring myself out of the angst for jjk, i apologise in advance!

jjk main masterlist | main masterlist

Helping Satoru was a way of losing yourself. When Haibara died and Suguru abandoned them, Shoko dealt with it in her loneliness and the only thing Satoru could lean on was you. Your shoulder was his support, the only thing that kept him sane to reality as you both tried to graduate and made the decision to teach school, you for a much more selfish reason than Satoru's human reasons.

Helping Satoru cost you a lifetime of loneliness. You loved your friend and after what happened you were so desperate not to lose anyone else that you were willing to do anything, even if it meant losing everything that once made you who you were and all motivation. You thought your identity didn't compare to the pain and helplessness of not being able to do anything while everyone walked away, but your decision led to a lonelier life than you had thought.

“Hey, everything okay?” Shoko approached through the hallway, the darkness relenting once she was standing next to you. “You look pale.”

“I'm fine. Just a little tired.”

The clouds around you enveloped them on either side, a somber feeling settling in between the space Shoko kept her distance with.

“Well, we've graduated. From now on the pains can't be so great.”

“Yeah, right. We're past the worst of it, aren't we?”

“I'd like to think so.”

Her cocked smile thawed a little of the chill settling in your chest, but her eyes told you everything her lips didn't. She knew, everyone knew, that you hadn't been the same since Suguru left. Satoru was staying afloat because of his goofy personality, but trying your best to keep it that way, the sparkle in your eyes disappeared. The person who used to be told that she brought the sun in her eyes had completely clouded over. Shoko saw the storms in your eyes, the impenetrable and unceasing tempest. She couldn't cross it without dying trying.

“You can talk to me if you need to.”

That was what she said every time, even though you never took her at her word. Shoko always proved she could survive on her own, however she had done it, whatever process she had to go through, the smile she gave you in those moments at least was more genuine than yours.

Satoru was too wrapped up in his own world, his own head and his own pain to stop for a moment to notice yours, which Shoko and the others could. You never placed that guilt on Satoru's shoulders, nor did you need to, but it was something you were sadly aware of. Satoru didn't push you aside because he was selfish, it was simply his way of processing things, so internally and individually inside his head. Just as you had made it your way of processing grief to help Satoru tirelessly, to the point of almost becoming his shadow.

“I don't know what to do anymore, y/n,” Satoru cried, hands holding his head and knees against his chest.

Utahime had called out to you, barely passing you out of eagerness and blurting out a couple of words that you could deduce were about Satoru. It was painful as you knew you had to prepare in advance to see him, because it was heartbreaking to have to help him process his pain while you had to keep your own at bay.

“I'm tired of dreaming about it. I'm tired of… seeing him.”

Your hands moved over his hair, his cursed technique disappearing every time you were near. You tried to contain the trembling of his body by holding his shoulders, but having you closer only made him more vulnerable.

“Not sleeping is not the solution, Satoru.”

“That's the only way,” raising his head, his puffy blue eyes returned your gaze. At times like those, you didn't know how he hadn't noticed your sunken eyes or the black bags that even years later still wouldn't go away.

But it was about him. Satoru was in bad modd. You had to help him. You had to hold him.

“No, it's not. I'm here,” your knees touched his feet, his face contracting as a fresh tide of tears lashed his chest. Cold hands wrapped around you and your numb hands wrapped around his neck. “I know you miss him. I know you regret it.”

His sobs against your shoulder grew louder and louder, but Satoru kept his grip with hostility. He held close to you as his lifeline, the float that carried him across the ocean, shipwrecked in his own pain, lost in his own mind.

“But you know you don't have to carry that pain alone, Satoru.”

“I don't know what I did, y/n…”

“You did what you had to do.”

“No…”

“If you hadn't done it, I would have.”

His head jerked up, his blue eyes crystallizing and pain written all over his face with the trail of tears that wouldn't stop flowing.

“It wasn't anything either of us would've had to have done,” you shook your head, trying to contain the memories in the back of your head, trying to focus on pain your friend in that moment, on what really mattered. “It wasn't anything either of us had to endure.”

“But you're fine…”

You almost snorted, controlling yourself enough to let out a sigh. His naive eyes wouldn't leave yours, almost as if he was constantly wondering what you were doing to deal with all that he wasn't. As if there was something wrong that he was doing or something he wasn't doing that you were, because in his eyes, up until that moment, you were fine.

“I'm fine when you're fine.”

“I'm not fine right now.”

“I know.”

You seemed to think a glimmer of understanding crossed his eyes. You didn't know, you couldn't be sure, but his face returned to your neck and the tears stopped falling. Minutes passed in silence.

“I'm sorry,” was the last thing he said that night.

Helping Satoru was something you would never regret, even when you had lost your spark and the students loved him more than you.

“I thought you were going out tonight.”

You ran into Nanami on your way to your dorm. It was getting close to the time of the outing Satoru had proposed for that night and you knew that if you didn't go no one else would show up there. You hated to think of dashing your friend's hopes, but he had already developed enough strength to go through such a disappointment. It had been months since he had becone strong enough to deal with such situations on his own.

“I'm tired.”

“For something specific?”

It was common for your friends to dance around the elephant in the room, and sometimes you allowed yourself to think how different things would be if they had at some point been more daring with their approaches, as you were with Satoru. What would've changed, then or in the past, if Nanami or Shoko had been more insistent? Where would you be now? Where would you be later?

“Nothing specific. I'd just like to get more rest tonight,” you sent Nanami a smile, the kind you had mastered to avoid such conversations.

“Very well. You know I'm just a phone call away if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Nanami.”

Were you really that selfish? In all their remoteness, your friends were still concerned about your well-being. Had enough time passed for you to not care? If you didn't want to be unwell, why was it so hard for you to accept their help?

“You've lost weight,” Satoru was right beside you from the moment you left Yaga's office.

“The mission went well, Satoru, thank you for caring.”

You tried to dodge him to go back to your room, but of course the white-haired man wouldn't just walk away just because. Lately he was closer, more attentive, more condescending…

“Are you eating well?”

Satoru was trying hard to ignore the way his words brought back dark memories. From the moment he realized what had been happening, his mind was scheming every second of the day in trying to find a way to bring you back to your original state. He couldn't even fully concentrate on the missions, but that was no obstacle for him.

“I'm tired, Satoru. It was three days. I need to sleep.”

“I told Yaga many times to let me go with you…”

“I handled it just fine on my own, Satoru.”

“I know! I'd just like to be of some use-”

“You want to be of some use? Leave me alone!”

The bed was freezing cold as it was every night. You changed the sheets that morning and organized the entire bedroom in a strange spike of energy. You felt a little better afterwards, but not enough. It had never stopped looking and feeling so empty, no matter what you did.

Satoru called you a couple of times that night, but as usual, he'd give up after a couple of tries.

You wondered again, drowsily, what would be different if only he had insisted a little more…

[louvemione]

illicit affairs (part two) — d. malfoy (draco's pov)

synopsis : Draco watched as Y/n slowly walked out of his life and wonders why their relationship is considered illicit.

warning/s : angst, fluff if you squint hard enough, profanity, written in first person, pureblood! reader (this isn't really important & would only be implied)

author's note : like promised, here is part two of illicit affairs 🥳 but i feel like i didn't write it properly 🥲 hopefully, you guys get the message i'm trying to get through!

<- part one | part three ->

leave the perfume on the shelf

that you picked out just for him

sixth year

"why is it that you no longer wear your signature perfume? I used to love it" that was probably a dumb and unnecessary question to ask

but can you blame me? I just need the slightest reasons and I would gladly start a conversation with her. as crazy as it sounds, I'd most definitely take every opportunity to talk to her.

she was silent for a moment, luckily it was only us sitting by the fire, "there's absolutely no reason for me to wear it but i'm glad you loved it"

i hate this. i hate the awkward silence between me and her, i hate that she's distancing herself from me and i hate that i am pretty much aware of it, i hate not being able to tell her how much i adore her, i hate not being true to myself, i hate—

"i'll go to my dorms now, it was nice talking to you" she didn't wait for my response and continued to walk to her dormitory, i hate when she's formal, it's as if we weren't friends.

so you leave no trace behind

like you don't even exist

"good morning!" I say, rather awkwardly than I hoped for it to

"hello, Draco" she smiled and walked past me

I watched her retreating figure like I always do now that she tries to cut every interaction short.

I hate it.

I hate it when she acts as if nothing ever happened between us. I hate that she no longer wears her perfume. I hate that she's slowly starting to slip past my finger tips.

I fucking hate it.

because she was leaving my life, slowly. so slow that I could see her disappear bit by bit. like, she was packing her things to move else where.

from her presence, to her perfume. it's as if she never even existed with how carefully everything connecting to her disappeared from my life.

take the words for what they are

a dwindling, mercurial high

"you look gorgeous" I whispered, hoping that it was loud enough for y/n to hear, hoping that she knew that it was directed at her, not Astoria.

I felt guilty for dancing with my soon-to-be wife and wishing it was y/n I'm holding.

soon enough, when Harry and Y/n stopped dancing, I excused myself.

"I'll go out for a moment" not waiting for Astoria's reply, I started walking away. I walked behind Y/n, grazing my hand against her waist in the process, hoping that she gets the message.

and that's how we ended up in the restricted section of the library, where we spent the next hour hugging and exchanging kisses and i love you's while looking through the different books in the shelves.

i love you, looking back, I started to wonder whether or not she took my words seriously.

"impossible! he can't...actually mean it!"

but according to the conversation I overheard, she took it as a dwindling, mercurial high.

a drug that only worked

"we're okay, we'll figure this out together, but let's not think of that for now" my kisses were denied when she pushed my head away and sat up.

"we all know we can't do anything about it" she argued and pushed me off, "listen, baby, we shouldn't restrict ourselves from loving who we want and I definitely won't spend my life married to someone I don't love, so believe me, I'll do something about it"

"but you two are set for marriage—"

"but I love you, not her" she stayed silent and I smiled, "so, do you trust me?"

"yeah, of course, I do"

the first few hundred times

"do you not trust me?!"

"NO! I FUCKING DON'T!"

and that's the thing about illicit affairs

and clandestine meetings and stolen stares

illicit? our relationship is nowhere near illicit.

it's not wrong to love someone, what's wrong is to pretend to love someone.

if it were Astoria I'm in a relationship with, that's illicit. but y/n? why would our relationship be illicit? because I'm bound to marry someone I don't want to marry?

"you okay, mate?" only then did I realize that I have been gripping my knife so tightly as I watched as she laughed with Saint Potter.

"we know you've been...feeling bad since she ended things with you but—"

"I just don't understand! why now? why—"

"why not now, Draco? did you think she'd want to wait 'til your wedding before breaking it off?"

"there will be no wedding!"

"oh I wouldn't be so sure if I were you" Daphne says, "my mum wrote to me this morning and mentioned that they might start planning yours and Astoria's wedding, if I were you, I'd start getting into action"

I spent the rest of supper thinking and secretly staring at y/n, who seemed to be doing the same.

they show their truth one single time

"i love you"

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie

"do you love me, still?" I say, not too bothered by the students who I knew were eavesdropping in our conversation

"as a friend, yeah"

we both know she's lying. and I know she's aware of the fact that I know she's lying.

a million little times

© louvemione on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[strangunddurm]

Mine

Masterlist

Pairing: Flip Zimmerman x fem!reader

Summary: Flip Zimmerman was a man that liked to eat his cake and have it, too.

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: PinV sex, unprotected sex, fingering, masturbation, swearing, dirty talk, oral (fem receiving). 

A/N: It's been ages since I wrote something so I'm so proud of myself for finally finishing something.

It was common knowledge that Flip Zimmerman was utterly and completely infatuated with you. You were it for him. The one he would marry, build a house for, have kids with. You would be his end, but you were not his beginning.

It was also common knowledge that Flip Zimmerman was on an apparent path to sleep with everyone he could that wasn’t you. Fuck, finger, and fondle like he wasn’t an officer of the law and he wasn’t in a very public bar at that very moment. You could see his hand run along her leg, caressing it with the pads of his fingers before it disappeared beneath the fabric of her skirt.

She threw her head back, laughing like nobody was watching, but, of course, you were. Your eyes were always lingering on his figure, just as his were yours. He watched you as he traced the lace of her panties, as he dipped them under the fabric; he watched you as he guided her lips to his; he watched you as he shattered your heart, always knowing that the comfort of your arms would always be there to sooth him in the end.

You often found yourself wondering: why? Why weren’t you enough for him at this point? Flip had this ability where he could string you along enough so that you, yourself, would feel guilty thinking of another man. Your possible unwillingness weren’t the reason for Flip’s hesitancy to commit, it was his. The unwilling fool in love with the same person he had always loved. Or perhaps you were the fool? Two fools in love that could never let the other one go.

Your friends often wondered why you subjected yourself to the torture of witnessing his lips upon another’s. You didn’t know how to explain to them that you only existed because of him. However demeaning and desperate it sounded, it was true. Whilst others existed for bettering the world or something other, you were made just to be his.

You thought for a while that you could live without him. That you could break free from his hold and flee from the place where everything reminded you of him but it was impossible. It didn’t make sense, how a man could possess you so entirely with just a whisper of attention. You thought it to be your own fault; a bleeding consequence of hope that wrecked your heart beyond anyone else’s repair. All you could do was wait for him. For you would forever be missing him otherwise, regretting not taking the possibility of even the tiniest something.

So, you found yourself there, putting on a front of indifference as you tried not to watch every stupid move Flip made in the arms of another. She was smug. It was so obvious from the way her eyes would flicker over to you every now and then as his lips caressed her shoulder or her neck.

She knew of Flip’s fondness for you, having seen the way he had given you a sliver of attention by the bar, letting his hand ghost over your hip before she had successfully lured him away from you and into her arms.

You were zoned out, barely hearing your friends’ voices as you stared hard at them. Your lip was near bloody from your nervous chewing as you, almost ritualistically, dragged your teeth over it again and again.

“How long are you going to keep doing this to yourself?” The words were spoken in your ear, your best friends arm coming to wrap around you, pulling you into her embrace.

“I…” She didn’t allow you to continue on the miserable spiel that she had heard so many times before.

“I don’t want to hear it. Not again. You need to realise that you’re worth more than whatever the hell this whole thing is,” She pleaded, pressing a kiss against your temple. “You have to stop doing this to yourself.”

“I don’t know if I can,” you sounded so fragile at that moment. Your voice wavered at the end, fading out as everything you felt became almost too much.

“Yes, you can. You just need to realise that you don’t owe him anything. Sitting here completely miserable isn’t going to make him change or do anything different.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’ve been here with you! Every night we go out to have fun, he comes along and ruins it.”

“No, he doesn’t.” You turned to look at her as you forced the words out harshly. But the look in her eyes made the feigned anger falter.

“I love you. You deserve more. Try to enjoy your life before you realise it’s too late,” She said, squeezing your shoulder.

Did you really deserve more? You had been caught up in the web of Flip for so long that you truly did believe that staying completely devoted to him was the only way forward. You knew he would eventually tire and stop indulging himself in others. It was an unconventional relationship, unfavourable to you in every sense.

But who was to say that you weren’t allowed to enjoy others? Just the way he were? An innocent tryst with another that would scratch that itch not even your fingers could ease late at night.

You let your eyes trail over the inhabitants of the local watering hole. There were the usuals there, sitting at the bar, nursing their beers. A group of frat boys were in the corner, cheering over shots. It wasn’t until a pair of dark brown eyes met your own that your interested was piqued.

You probably wouldn’t have dared made a move if he hadn’t come sauntering over. He didn’t walk like Flip. Flip’s walk was self-assured, dominating in a subtle way. This guy walked in a cocky way, shoulders swaying with every step as he though himself holier than thou. It was off-putting, but you thought you owed it to yourself to at least try.

“Saw you watching me over there.” His attempt at flirting was just as cocky as his walk.

“Oh, hahah..” Your laugh was awkward as you fumble for a reply. “Do you come here often?”

“First time actually, I’m here visiting my brother.” He motioned toward some guy in the back that you couldn’t see.

“That’s nice,” You said awkwardly.

He introduced himself as he took perch on the barstool next to you, shaking your hand weakly.

“So, what do you do for fun around here?” He asked, motioning for the bartender to refill both of your glasses at the same time.

“Ehm… Come here, I guess.” You waved your hand in the air, uncommittedly. Anxiety was flooding your nerves, practically inhibiting your ability to speak. You let your eyes trail over the room again quickly. Flip was still hands-deep in that woman’s skirt, your friends had slipped off somewhere else, getting lost in others.

The man, Chris, held a one-sided conversation without seeming to notice your less than keen interest. The thought of letting go and trying to flirt with somebody else was always easier in theory rather than practice.

It wasn’t his fault, if you were somebody else you might’ve enjoyed it. But all you could think about was the way his eyes were too dark, his hair too light, and his voice to high to remind you of Flip.

“Listen,” He placed his hand on your thigh. High up, bold, wanting. “I really like you, what do you say about getting out of here?”

You didn’t have a chance to respond before a chest pressed against your back.

“She’s not going anywhere with you.”

You felt faint hearing Flip’s voice rumble through his chest as he pulled himself closer to you. His hand wrapped around Chris’s wrist, forcing it away from your leg.

“Hey, man, we were having a conversation here.” Chris was foolish. It wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t from here, after all. He didn’t know the perfectly concealed rage that could simmer under Flip’s skin when he felt like he was being disrespected.

“I’m going to offer you a piece of advice.”

“Flip, don’t-” Interjecting was pointless. Flip did whatever Flip wanted.

“You should take your drink, go back to whatever lowly corner you came from, and stay there. Get it through your thick skull that you’re not wanted here.” Flip roughly pushed the glas of beer Chris had been nursing on the bar, it’s content sloshing over the sides as it almost toppled over.

The silence that followed hung in the air, permeating it, polluting it. It didn’t take long for Chris to visibly crumble under Flip’s stare but it was almost as if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. He didn’t want to give in to the menacing man that had appeared out of nowhere. Reasonable, perhaps, but entirely futile. Flip would always get what he wanted in the end, no matter what.

Chris left without a word, sparing you a pitiful glance before he was gone and all that was Flip took over your senses as he rounded you, coming to a stop so you were chest to chest.

You refused to look at him, staring straight ahead, focusing on the way his chest would calmly breath in and out as he waited.

“Look at me,” His voice was low, steady. You wanted to, of course, but you were stubborn. Just when you were putting yourself first, there he was again. A forever keg in your wheels, keeping you in the same place.

His fingers were soft against your chin as he urged it upwards, making you look at him.

He was smiling. Not a full on grin, but that sweet, cheeky little smile that held so much mirth that you wanted to hit him. It’s like he’d been waiting for this, waiting for you to act out and finally do something for yourself.

“Wipe that smile of your face,” you hissed out. “What could you possible have to smile about?”

“You.”

“Oh, yeah, because it is so funny ruining my fucking life.”

“Ruining it?”

“Yeah, ruining it.”

“You should’ve just said something if you felt that way.” You almost laughed at that. It wasn’t like you hadn’t said something. It felt like all you did was talk, and all he did was not care.

“Cut me a fucking break, Flip. Don’t act like you don’t know what you’ve been doing to me. This- this game you’ve been playing, toying with my heart. One minute it feels like you might actually want me but then the next you go and fucksomebody else and I’m just suppose to pretend that it’s all fine?”

“It’s not?” He said, playfully.

“Fuck you.”

“Stop swearing, and keep your voice down.”

“What? So that your whore won’t hear us?”

“She means nothing,” He said

“So why do you keep doing this? Why keep stringing me along?” You were defeated. Your relationship with Flip was strange. Peculiar. Unexplainable in certain aspects as you yourself did not entirely know exactly what you two were.

You looked up at him, tears brimming in your eyes as all the hurt you had felt over the past however-long caught up to you. He was looking down at you, as if in wonder. Was it possible that Flip Zimmerman was naive to the way he had treated you? To the way he had made you suffer? Had you been imagining it all in your head?

He didn’t look sorry, he didn’t sound sorry, but when the apology tumbled out of his mouth, you accepted it. Perhaps it was you who were naive but you wanted a moment of happiness with him. Even if it was a moment entirely clouded by delusion.

You nodded your head, a small movement of acceptance that made Flip light up.

Flip would always shine brighter than any star you had ever seen. He took your breath away and filled you with a rush of serotonin every time you gazed into his eyes for even a brief second. His eyes were like molten gold, blinding you as they tinkled. Devotion to him and only him was inevitable.

“Will you come home with me?” The answer was obvious. The question had been what you had waited for. Taking his hand and slipping out through the door before any of your friends still caught in reason could stop you.

His hand dipped between your legs, fingers mapping out a path to your most sacred place the second he pushed you through the door of his home.

"Look at you, already so wet for me." Flip chuckled darkly. He knew you couldn't resist him. Your need for him was as deep as his need was for you.

His lips met yours in a searing kiss that took your breath away. His tongue caressed yours as teeth clashed.

His fingers toyed with your panties, teasing you. He knew how desperate you were for anything he would give you.

He took his time, teasing your more and more before he finally was gracious enough to slide a finger inside of you. Just a single finger to test you. You walls clamped down around him tightly, gripping him, coaxing him to give you more. He pumped it in and out of you slowly, so slowly that you thought you might lose your mind if he didn't give you something more, and you voiced so much.

"Please, Flip." What you needed was clear. But that didn’t mean Flip would be so easy to give in.

"You’ll get more, sweetheart. Don’t you worry.” He said sweetly before withdrawing from you completely.

"Flip-"

"You're so impatient." He chided you, tutting teasingly with a lazy smile on his lips. “Go to the bedroom.” He commanded whilst motioning his head in its direction. You were quick to obey, of course, feet moving swiftly as you stumbled your way on shaky legs through the halls and onto his bed.

You flipped onto it in excitement, eager for his touch once again.

“Is this what you wanted? To be one of my whores?” He asked as he undressed slowly, unbuttoning his flannel and letting his jeans fall to the floor before he took a stand by the foot of the bed. He trailed his hands up your legs equally as slow before grabbing a hold of your panties and pulling them off you. You couldn’t get any words out to respond, whining with need.

The evidence of your excitement was clear to him, almost dripping and shining in the low light. A sane man wouldn’t be able to hold back having a women presented so willingly to him with her legs spread wide and skirt bunched up around her hip, chest heaving with excitement. And of course, Flip was a sane man, in some sense at least, for he was quick to crawl in between your legs and mouth attached to your clit.

Digging his fingers into your thighs, he hauled one of them onto his shoulder and connected his mouth to your sweet cunt.

The sounds of your breathless moans were intoxicating as he suckled your clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue over the stiff nubb.

Your knees fought against his shoulders as your hand came to cover your mouth, willing any sounds to stay inside of you as you bit down softly as you were overwhelmed by the pleasure rushing through you.

“You taste so fucking good, sweetheart.” Flip praised in a panted breath before diving back in.

You fought to keep your eyes open as your hips moved up and down in a desperate attempt to grind your aching clit against his mouth and nose in search for that perfect sensation that would drive you over the edge.

Your hand slid into Flip’s hair, gliding through it before grasping a firm hold of it as a wave after wave of moans finally made their way out of you.

Flip had already made you come once when he slid his fingers into you, continuing his ministrations on your clit with his mouth. His movement were much rougher than what they had been before, thrusting them into you expertely, hitting that sweet spot of yours over and over again.

Your back arched into the air and mouth fell open at the overstimulation. It was exquisite.

“Oh, oh, Flip. I’m gonna cum.” You whined desperately. “Oh, God.”

You clung to his arm in an attempt to hold on to any sort of sanity but it was all for nought. Your legs spasmed as you came with a cry.

Flip tried to hold you down as he never let up despite your half hearted please, flicking the tip of his tongue over your clit again and again and again. He worked you through your orgasm, never relenting as your silent whimpers spured him on. You had such a tight hold on his hair that it made him groan, sending a wave of vibrations through you that caused you to gasp. He only stopped once your whimpers had grown in volume to a steady whine of pleas.

“You’re such a good girl.” Flip praised as he came up, hovering over you. “You gonna let me fuck you, sweetheart?”

“Yes! Please, Flip.”

He tugged at his hard and weeping cock a few times as he admired you. You were breath taking like this, legs parted, eyes hazy from your orgasm, cunt dripping, ready for him.

"You’re gonna look so gorgeous, covered with my cum." Flip's voice was husky as he leaned down and pulled you closer to him by your face before planting a sloppy, wet kiss on your lips as he came to rest between your hips, a single arm keeping him up.

He dragged his thick and cum weeping cock through your folds a few times, thoroughly coating it in your slickness. The anticipation was killing you. His fingers and tongue weren't enough, you wanted more, needed it.

You grabbed a hold of his shoulders, pulling him closer even to you in desperation.

"Please, Flip." You whispered, ready for him.

The sigh the both of you let out when he finally slipped all the way into your cunt was one of relief. You had missed this, had missed him.

Flip didn't give you time to adjust to him before he started pounding into you at a pace that was brutal in nature, just the way he knew you liked it.

“You’re such a dirty fucking whore.” He spat at you and you clenched around him in response. "Look at you, so desperate for my dick you could almost cry." Being his whore and whatever he wanted was everything you had ever wanted since the moment you had laid eyes on him.

He was so deep inside of you that you barely knew what to do with yourself. Flip's loud groans were bouncing around the walls of his room, blended in with your own gasps from every thrust into you.

Your walls were clenched so tightly around him, drawing him deeper and deeper inside.

"Fuck" You groaned. "Feels so- fucking good." You shakily breath out.

"This is what you wanted right? My cock so deep within you you’ll feel me for days" He cooed, slowing down just slightly, but each thrust was still as sharp, still as precise, and hard, and calculated.

A wailing yes! left your lips. You were sure you would be able to feel Flip's hands on your hips as you would nurse your hangover tomorrow, and most likely the day after that as well. You would feel him in every step you took. Forever.

"Harder." You pleaded.

He pulled out so just his tip was left in you, waiting there for just a second before slamming back into you again, buried to the hilt. The groan Flip let out sent tingles down your spine and caused you to clench even tighter around him, triggering another moan from him.

"I love it when you do that." He praised, followed by another rut into you.

He continued pumping into yours sweet cunt, drawing moans from you that were filthy. The sound of skin slapping and noises of pleasure mixed together as they bounced on the walls and around the room.

His thrusts had picked up in pace one again, ruthless and reckless as he fucked deeper and deeper into you. You were trembling against him, breath hitching, getting caught in your chest as you almost forgot how to breathe. You could feel your release mounting quickly once again, shockwaves gripping your body and rolling through you with every buck into you.

"Fuck, I'm gonna come,"

"No, you're not." Flip withdrew from you completely, flipping down on the bed beside you. You were drunk on the feeling of him, needy and desperate, ready to take everything he would give to you.

His legs were spread, cock standing on full attention, bobbing against his stomach, it's tip coloured an angry red, ready to be inside of you again.

"Come on then." He pulled you out of the short-lived trance you had been in over the sight of him. You though again of how there was something so ethereal about him, something other than just his looks, something that would always draw you back in and keep you on his hook.

You were quick in your movements, throwing a leg around his hips and hoisting yourself upright, causing him to chuckle over your desperation.

"Eager, are we?" He welcomed you with open arms, hands coming up to rest on your hips once again, as he gazed up at you with a smile on his face.

He helped you pull your wrinkled dress over your head, placing open mouthed kisses on every inch of your skin he could reach. His lips attached themselves to your perked nipple, sucking it into his mouth and releasing it with a pop.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." He sounded as if he was in awe simply over the sight of you.

You sank down swiftly, engulfing him with your tight walls, stopping only when you were at the base, stuffed full of him.

"Oh, fuck, Flip!" The change in angle had you convinced that he was deeper in you than ever before, the tip of him nestling against your cervix.

"You feel so good like this." Flip moaned. He tapped two fingers against the side of your thigh, signalling you to move and you were more than happy to oblige. Your feet were securely rooted on the floor and you placed your hands on the walls to give yourself the leverage and support you needed to begin riding him.

He let you control every movement; let you set the pace as you slid up and down on his throbbing cock. Flip's hands were exploring every inch of you that they could reach, massaging your breasts, caressing your thighs, sliding across your back, and then, finally, they found their way to the apex of your thighs and started firmly circling your clit.

Flip let out a loud grunt every time you slammed yourself down onto him. It was a sound you wanted to hear every day, every waking moment and in every vivid dream.

The steady pace that you had managed to keep was slowly becoming nothing as you felt yourself loosing control over your limbs the closer you climbed to that high you were chasing. The muscles in your stomach were tightening rapidly over the coiling tension and your walls gripped him even tighter.

"Say my name."

"What?" You weren't lucid enough to possibly begin to understand what he meant at that moment.

"Say. My. Name." He repeated, making sure to punctuate every single word with a small thrust upward to meet you as you came down on him.

His name spilled out of your mouth just a few seconds later in the form of a moan.

"Who’s making you feel this good?" You weren't as quick to heed his words this time, the building pressure between your legs taking up all of your attention.

His hands were back on your hips, forcing you up, slipping out of you, and then guiding you dominantly into the position he wanted with your face pressed into the sheets and your ass high up in the ar. He was swift to enter you again, you had barely even had time to complain over the loss of him before he was drilling into you.

"Flip!" You shouted his name as you finally came, tumbling over the edge as stars were painted behind your eyelids. Your legs were shaking, spasming, through the waves, words of gibberish leaving your mouth as he made you babble like a brook. He hadn't even faltered in his movements, continuing to pump into you as he chased his own climax. He was panting loudly in between groans and the sound of skin slapping against each other.

"Who owns this pussy?"

"You." Another sharp thrust into you.

"Who owns this pussy?"

"You, Flip. Oh, god, you, Flip!" Small droplets of tears were leaking from the corner of your eyes as Flip was steadily driving you to cum again as he fucked into you.

You hadn't felt this way before, you didn't even know you could feel this way; the overwhelming stimulation that was rushing through your blood, lighting your nerves on fire, making you want to stay right here, right now, forever.

"That's fucking right." Flip came with a deep jerk into you, pulling out to come all over your back before entering you again to give you a few last thrilling pumps.

You laid there on his bed in a heap, totally out of it as he calmly came to rest beside you. He coaxed you onto your back so that he could plant a sweet kiss on your lips. Uttering words that made your erratic heart pump even faster.

“All mine.”

Thank you for reading! Please check out my Masterlist if you want to read more.

Tags in reblog.

[cheynovak]

Complicated

Characters: Soldier boy x Y/N Female character     

Summary: Y/N, a young personal assistant to Soldier Boy (Ben) and Crimson Countess, is caught in a whirlwind of events that shatter her sense of stability. After accidentally witnessing an intimate moment between Ben, Crimson, and another woman, she’s left shaken and unsure how to process it. The following day, Crimson casually invites her to join them, which only adds to Y/N's confusion.

Warnings: 18+ hurt pain TRIGGER WARNING: mentioning of rape/ sexual abuse. If you don't want to or can't read this, please skip to next part in this story.

English is not my first language 

*This story is my own original story, please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated* 

part 6/?

He just opened the door and walked out, leaving me alone with nothing but the empty space he’d left behind.

Weeks passed, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Ben, officially statement: secret mission. At first, I tried to push it out of my mind, telling myself this was just what he did—he came and went on his own terms. But the longer I went without seeing him, the worse I felt. Worse than when I’d left Kevin, even. At least with him, I’d known why it ended. But Ben had left me without a single explanation.

What did he mean when he said, “You are loved”? The question haunted me, playing over and over in my mind. Did he mean he loved me? Was it some twisted way of telling me he cared? Or was he saying that I’d be loved someday, by someone else? That thought was like a knife to my chest—because what if I’d already given my heart to someone who wouldn’t give his back?

I tried to keep my distance from any member of Payback at work, hoping they wouldn’t ask about it, hoping they wouldn’t even notice I existed. The last thing I needed was to be asked why I hadn’t been around Soldier Boy or why he hadn’t been around me. I couldn’t face the humiliation of admitting I didn’t know where he was or if he was even coming back.

As days turned into weeks, the silence between us grew unbearable. So I packed my bags, leaving behind the life I’d been building with him—or rather, the life I’d been building in his shadow. I found a small, cramped apartment on the other side of the city. It was nothing like the glamorous place Ben had provided me. It smelled like damp wood and cigarettes, the walls paper-thin, the floors uneven.

But it was mine. And at that point, I was angry enough to prefer it. Angry at Ben for disappearing. Angry at myself for caring so damn much.

In the middle of that anger, though, there was something else. A deep, aching emptiness. I kept picturing Ben giving his loft to some other girl—someone else to play with when he was bored, someone else who’d wait around for him like I had. Maybe someone who wouldn’t ask for more, someone easier to forget.

I hated the thought of it, hated the idea of being so easily replaced. But no matter how hard I tried to move on, that cold, hollow feeling wouldn’t leave me. And the worst part was knowing that, even though I was furious, I would’ve taken him back in an instant if he just showed up and gave me a reason to.

But he hadn’t.

And maybe he never would.

Tonight was my first night off in ages, and after sitting in my small, smelly apartment for what felt like hours, I knew I couldn’t stay cooped up any longer. I needed to get out. Working for Vought had turned my social life into something non-existent, leaving me with no friends to call up for a night out. But it was 1979, and I didn’t need an excuse to go out by myself.

I pulled on a short skirt and high boots, the outfit giving me a small boost of confidence. I left my place and wandered into town, the neon lights of the city buzzing above me, drawing me in. Eventually, I found a nice pub with good music, a place that seemed alive, filled with strangers dancing and laughing. It felt like the escape I needed.

But as soon as I walked in, I spotted Kevin. My stomach dropped. He was with a group of his friends, sitting at the bar, laughing like he didn’t have a care in the world. At first, I tried to act like I hadn’t noticed him. I didn’t want to run off and look like I was afraid. But I felt his eyes on me the moment he spotted me.

He kept looking, and I could feel the tension building with each passing second. The way he stared, the familiar intensity, sent a chill down my spine.

I tried to ignore it, ordering a drink and pretending like I was just another patron, but the awkwardness became unbearable. I kept stealing glances over my shoulder, knowing he was still watching me. After a couple of drinks, the atmosphere of the pub no longer felt exciting or freeing. It felt suffocating.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to leave.

As I pushed open the heavy wooden door and stepped out into the cool night air, I breathed a sigh of relief. The sounds of the city felt less pressing out here, and for a moment, I thought I’d managed to escape him. I started walking down the street, eager to get home and forget the whole night.

But little did I know, Kevin had followed me.

Before I realized what was happening, he caught up to me, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me into a small, dark alley. The suddenness of it knocked the breath from my lungs, fear rushing through me like ice in my veins. His hands were all over me, rough and insistent, and no matter how much I pushed or squirmed, he was stronger.

"Kevin, stop," I pleaded, my voice shaking, but he didn’t listen.

I didn’t want this, but he didn’t care. His grip tightened, his hands roaming over my body like he had some right to me. The fear was paralyzing, every inch of my skin crawling as I struggled against him.

I needed to get out of there, needed to fight back, but his strength and his size kept me pinned in place. I could feel the cold, damp bricks of the alley behind me, the rough texture scraping against my back as he pressed me into the wall. Every inch of me screamed to run, but I was trapped.

I tried to scream, but Kevin’s hand clamped over my mouth, silencing me. Tears streamed down my cheeks, my heart pounding in my chest as panic took over. Oh, please, God, no, was all I could think, the words like a desperate prayer echoing in my mind.

In a moment of frantic instinct, I kicked him as hard as I could. My boot connected with his shin, and for a brief second, I thought I had a chance. As he stumbled back, I turned to run, but before I could even take a step, another pair of hands grabbed me roughly from behind.

His friends.

They had turned the corner, and now I was trapped between them, my escape cut off. Fear washed over me like ice, my body trembling as I realized I was completely surrounded. My voice broke as I started begging, the words falling from my lips in a desperate, shaking sob. “No, please… please, no…”

Tears blurred my vision as I backed up, only to bump into Kevin again. His breath was hot against my face, and his voice dripped with cruel satisfaction as he leaned in close.

“Let’s see what you’ve learned over these past months, you slut,” he sneered, his voice thick with malice.

I froze, my entire body going numb. His words were laced with all the hate and control he’d always tried to have over me, and in that moment, I knew what he was planning to do. I tried to pull away, to fight, but the weight of his friends’ presence and the fear coursing through me made my limbs feel weak, powerless.

I was trapped. Trapped and alone. And all I could do was beg for it to stop.

--

I tried to walk home, but my legs felt like they were moving on their own. My mind kept repeating what had just happened, the memory of their hands on my body, their grins, their laughter—it was twisted pleasure for them. They enjoyed it. I wanted to cry, to scream, but it was like I’d run out of tears. The emptiness was worse than the pain.

Somehow, I ended up in front of Ben’s building. I didn’t even realize I had come this far until I was standing at the entrance. My feet had carried me here, to the only place I could think of. I stumbled into the elevator, leaning against the cold metal walls as it took me up to his penthouse. I didn’t know why I was here. Maybe I just needed to see a familiar face, to feel something other than the hollow, aching void that had settled into my chest.

When I reached his door, I knocked once, weakly.

From inside, I could hear the unmistakable sounds of moaning, women’s voices tangled with each other. I flinched, a fresh wave of nausea hitting me. My body tensed, and I immediately regretted coming here. What was I thinking? Just as I turned to leave, the door swung open.

Ben stood there in nothing but a silk bathrobe, his expression already irritated before he even fully saw me. “What? Miss the luxury already, princess?” he snapped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. His eyes were cold, dismissive, like I was just another annoyance interrupting his night.

I turned my head over my shoulder, trying to hide my face. “Sorry… this was a mistake,” I whispered, or at least I tried to. My voice was barely audible, cracking under the weight of everything.

But as soon as he saw me—really saw me—his expression shifted. The irritation vanished, replaced with something else. His eyes scanned my face, taking in the smeared makeup, the cracked lip, the red, swollen eyes from crying. The bruises that were probably forming under my skin.

He didn’t say a word. His face tightened, his jaw clenching as he turned away from me. “Wait here,” he muttered, his voice low and tense. He walked back inside, and I heard the confused murmurs of the girls still in his penthouse.

A few moments later, the door opened wide again, and I saw them—half-dressed, their clothes hastily thrown on, their makeup smudged from whatever they’d been doing with Ben. They didn’t even get a chance to put their shoes on as they stumbled out, looking irritated but confused, clutching their things to their chests. Ben stood behind them, his face hard, his hand gripping the door frame so tightly his knuckles were white.

Once they were gone, he turned to me, his green eyes burning with something I couldn’t quite place. “Get in here,” he said, his voice rough, but not angry anymore. Not like before.

I stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. But my legs gave out before I could think, and I collapsed into his arms, the weight of everything finally catching up to me.

Ben stood there, his usual cool, detached demeanor gone as he took a long look at me. He noticed everything—the ripped skirt, the bruises on my legs, the smudged makeup. His eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked over to the bar and poured me a drink, offering it to me without a word. I took it, my hand trembling as I brought the glass to my lips.

He watched me for a moment, and then he knelt down in front of me, his gaze softer than I’d ever seen it before. “What happened?” he asked, his voice quiet, low.

I couldn’t bring myself to answer. The words were stuck in my throat, a knot of shame and fear keeping them locked inside. I stared at the floor, my fingers gripping the glass like it was the only thing keeping me together.

Ben waited, his eyes searching my face for a clue, for anything that would explain what had happened. But when the silence dragged on, he didn’t push. Instead, after a beat, he asked gently, “Do you want to shower?”

I nodded. It was a small movement, just a slight dip of my head, but as soon as I nodded once, it was like something broke inside me. The tears came all at once, harder than before, and I couldn’t stop them. I shook my head, trying to get it together, but it only made the sobs worse.

Ben’s face softened even more, and he reached out, gently placing his hand on my knee. “Shh, shh. It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, a stark contrast to his usual harsh tone. “You’re safe now, alright? You’re safe.”

I couldn’t stop crying, my body shaking as the weight of everything came crashing down on me.

“I’ll get the water running,” Ben said, standing up slowly. “It’s okay now. Just take a minute.” He paused for a second, looking at me like he wanted to say more, but instead he just nodded to himself, walking toward the bathroom.

The sound of running water filled the silence, but Ben’s words echoed louder in my mind. It’s okay now. But I was not.

I stood there in the bathroom, the warm steam from the shower slowly dissipating, but it did nothing to ease the cold pit in my stomach. When I looked down at my body, I noticed the bruises—dark, ugly marks that trailed up my thighs and near my core. My chest tightened, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face again, silent and unstoppable.

Ben had left a babydoll dress for me to wear. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but now… I couldn’t even imagine putting it on. Not after what had happened. Not with these bruises on my body. I stared at it for what felt like forever, unable to make myself leave the bathroom.

Hours passed. I lost track of time, sitting on the cold tiles, feeling more exposed than ever. Eventually, there was a soft knock at the door.

“Y/N,” Ben called gently from the other side. “You okay?”

I hesitated for a moment, then stood up and slowly unlocked the door. When I opened it, Ben stood there, concern etched across his face. He took one look at me, at the towel wrapped around my body, and then at the babydoll dress still untouched.

“Why haven’t you changed?” he asked, his voice soft but curious.

My lip trembled. I wanted to answer, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. The words wouldn’t come. Instead, I took a step back, my hands shaking. I felt like a small child, vulnerable and terrified, but all I could think was maybe I could show him?

Ben’s eyes narrowed as he watched me. His gaze shifted, and then it happened—he saw them. The bruises. His expression changed in an instant, his eyes widening as the realization hit him. His face, once filled with concern and confusion, twisted into something darker. Pure fury.

“Who?” he demanded, his voice low, dangerous. “Who did this, Y/N?”

I backed away, my whole body trembling now, and I started crying again. I couldn’t stop it this time. The memories came flooding back, overwhelming me, and I couldn’t get the words out. I just shook my head, trying to catch my breath between sobs.

Ben’s hands clenched into fists, his jaw tightening as his face contorted with rage. “Tell me who the fuck did this!” he shouted, taking a step forward. His voice was thunderous, raw, and filled with a burning anger I’d never seen in him before.

I collapsed onto the bathroom floor, shaking my head. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t say it out loud. But Ben’s fury didn’t waver. He knelt down beside me, trying to pull me into his arms.

“Please, Y/N, you have to tell me who did this,” he said, his voice quieter now, but still shaking with barely controlled rage. “I’ll make them pay.”

But I couldn’t stop crying long enough to respond. All I could think about was the horror of what had happened, and the terrifying thought of what Ben might do next if he knew.

Ben let go of his anger for a moment, the fire in his eyes dimming as he looked at me. Without a word, he left the room and returned a few minutes later, holding an old shirt and a pair of sweatpants—his own clothes. He handed them to me gently, his expression still tight with restrained fury but softened by something more protective.

"If you tell me where you live, I’ll pick up some clothes for you," he offered, his voice quieter now, trying to keep calm.

I shook my head immediately, panic rising in my chest. My hand clamped onto his wrist, desperate and trembling. "No, please don’t leave me," I whispered, my voice hoarse but clear. It was the first real sentence I’d managed to speak all night, the first words that didn’t feel broken by the weight of what had happened.

Ben’s eyes softened further, and his body seemed to relax as he knelt in front of me again. He reached up, covering my hand with his. "Alright," he said softly. "I won’t leave."

There was something different in his tone now—not the arrogance or the frustration I’d grown so used to, but something steady, grounding. He stayed still, waiting for me to decide what I needed, not pushing, not demanding. Just being there.

The tears slowed, and for the first time since everything happened, I didn’t feel completely alone.

--

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[ticklygiggles]

Lovelynim's tickletober Day 3: Cleaning

Patrochilles

A/N: Cleaning = bathing? Of course it does! Written in first person bc I can't resist writing Patroclus like in the original *ugly sobbing in the distance* my boys

My heart sank at the sight of him as it always did. Achilles' armour was dripping with blood and I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose in disgust at the awful metallic smell filling my nostrils.

Achilles smiled widely at me as soon as our eyes met and tried to smile back, but I couldn't shake the sickening feeling mixed with relief at seeing him back.

"You smell terrible." On another occasion, my heart would have danced with joy at hearing Achilles's chuckle, but this time I couldn't help but frown. "Are you hurt?"

"You know I'm not."

I knew he wasn't.

"I'm gonna clean up. I'll see you in a moment."

"I'll help you out."

We headed to the forest stream, where we usually cleaned ourselves, far from the Trojan rivers and the eyes of the Myrmidons. Achilles entered the water in his armor, and the clarity of the stream turned dark red, the water carrying away the Trojan blood and a little of Achilles' humanity. I sighed and took off my clothes, going in as well when the armor was almost clean, I helped him take it off and he shivered a little as he felt the cool water touch his bare skin.

"Is it too cold?" I asked as I watched Achilles cast off his helmet, his beautiful golden hair disheveled and dirty.

He shook his head and I nodded, rummaging through my clothes, looking for the olive soap I sneaked a life ago. I didn't use it on myself very often, but on Achilles. He had grown up like a dear prince, his feet always soft because of the oils he used, but now... I sighed again, rubbing the soap between my hands before turning to look at Achilles. My heart skipped a beat as I saw that he already had his eyes on me, smiling sweetly.

"What?" I asked, my voice a bit shaky.

"You've been sighing a lot."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm. It's something the matter?"

"No." I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about anything other than Achilles. He nodded and I placed my soapy hands in his hair, gently rubbing his scalp with my nails.

"I can do this myself, you know?" There was a bit of laughter in his voice and I couldn't help but smile slightly. "I'm not a child."

"Hmm, and yet you're still a picky eater sometimes." Achilles laughed softly, but ultimately let me continue. I thoroughly washed his head, getting rid of blood, sweat and dirt. The soap on my hands was gone rather quickly, so I wet the bar of soap again and rubbed it in my hands, creating more lather. I cleaned his ears, his neck, and my cheeks and ears became red when my fingers caressed his collarbone, his chest and the curve of his waist.

Achilles flinched a little and he suddenly laughed and I blushed even more, thinking he was making fun of me, but when I was about to tell him to stop, I felt his strong hands grabbing my wrists and pulling them away from his body.

I looked up and my heart swelled at the sight of his huge smile. His cheeks were rosy, as if he had spent a lot of time under the sun. I was breathless. It had been a long time since I had seen that huge smile and shy look.

I knew perfectly well what was happening and I couldn't help but smile widely, my worries immediately disappearing.

"Are you still ticklish?"

Achilles shook his head, clearing his throat and letting go of my wrists. "I'm not. You just touched me too lightly a-and gahaha!"

"Okay, let's just continue then," I said, my soapy hands quickly moving under his arms, my fingers wiggling and lightly digging into his warm skin.

Achilles laughed brightly, my heart dancing at the beautiful sound. I laughed too, following his every move with my tickly fingers, wanting to force out more of that sweet laughter so the memories of our time with Chiron could keep clouding my mind.

"Ahahaha! Not thehere!" He said, desperately trying to pull my hands away from under his arms.

I chuckled. "What do you mean not there? You need to wash thoroughly."

Achilles would take his revenge on me, and would surely reduce me to a laughing, squealing mess, but I didn't care. He could do whatever he wanted with me, and, for now at least, I could do whatever I wanted with him, too. In this little part of the forest, away from everyone's eyes and in our little world.

[olsenmyolsen]

Feeling Used

master list

dark master list

MCU AU (Vampire Reader X Wanda Maximoff)

Summary: When you are rescued by The Avengers you find it hard to do anything else but be lost in your thoughts.

Word Count: 2.5K

TW: Mentions of Hydra, Nightmares, Fluff

Reader POV

It wasn't always like this.

I wasn't always like this.

I had a life before I was bitten. Just like I had a life after the bite. Don't get me wrong, it was worse. But Hydra kept me alive. Only after they had their fun when they knew I couldn't fight back. Over and over again.

But that was a life.

My life.

Until a group of uniform-wearing people picked me up. The Avengers was their name. Or at least that's what the guard screamed outside my cell before a stream of red mist threw him like a pebble.

She was the first person I saw when the doors opened. Wanda. Wanda Maximoff. I remember as her powers disappeared into thin air before she greeted me slowly as the others ran by to free the rest.

Knowing her now, I could've made myself look stronger back then, but I cowered myself in the corner, afraid she was just like anyone else who entered my cell.

But she persisted even after I swung at her and flew myself across the room. She came forward. Strong and confident. Although once my pointed teeth shined in the swinging light above us, I saw the switch in her eyes. It was something new. It wasn't the same old scared look I had been used to in the past.

Once again. Knowing her now, I could've explained the whole teeth situation better.

The last thing I remember happening in that cell was Wanda's green eyes looking into my black ones. Her telling me her name in an accent I couldn't place, and then, like magic, a memory I had long forgotten about was in my mind before I was out like a light.

_

According to the star-spangled man, I was the last "enhanced" Hydra had left. Switch out that word for monster, and he would've been right. But that's not what I wanted to be.

I never wanted that.

Time wore on once the Avengers found a spot for me. After tests, a meeting with a scary one-eyed man, a holding period in a newly furnished cell, and training, I was moved to the benchwarmers. At least, that's what The Black Widow calls me.

I was given a room. Bland but a place I could make my own. The room was on the same floor as Natasha and Wanda. The latter was the only one ever to try and speak to me as if I didn't have these.. what was the word speedster used.. abilities. She was one of the very few so far who chose to spend time with me no matter how little once the test and training was done.

She talked to me. Really talked to me. Maybe it was because we both came from Hydra. Or perhaps because she felt like she had an obligation, what with rescuing me and all. I don't know. May..maybe she just wanted to know she wouldn't... Wanda wouldn't use me. Right?

Oh, come on, freak.

Why not? You read the files. She used the deepest fears against her teammates before. What would stop her now from doing the same to you?? She probably knows them already.

That's why she's been so nice to you since you arrived. That's why you're not even on the team. You'll never be good enough for them. Or her. You're only here so they can pick you apart and throw you away. She's just here to make sure you don't go.

No, Wanda wouldn't do that. She wouldn't.. she.. she saved me. Wanda saved me!

Knock

Knock

Knock

"Y/N!" I jolt up from the floor, covered in sweat, at the sound of Wanda's voice outside my door. I quickly take in my surroundings before realizing I'm in my room. My room. Avengers compound. Second floor. I'm safe.

I touch my face and feel the tear tracks that are left behind. "Y/N?" Wanda calls out again before another series of knocks land. "One second!" I yell back in a less than put-together manner. With a deep breath out and take a moment to collect myself. Running a hand through my hair before pushing it and those dark thoughts to the back of my mind.

"It's okay. It wasn't real." I silently remind myself before attempting to stand on my legs before falling onto the bed. "Y/N?" Wanda gently calls out again. "Are you okay?" I don't want to lie, so I don't respond. Instead, I pull a new shirt towards me and quickly change before making my way to the door to see a worried-looking witch.

I open my mouth, but no words come out as Wanda's hands land on the sides of my face. "Oh Detka.." I still don't know what that means, but hearing it this tone hurts me. "What's wrong?" I lift my hands to hers slowly bring them down.

She's using you!

No, she isn't.

Wanda quickly looks up into my eyes, but I look away from the stare to down the hall to her open bedroom door.

Most people in this building wouldn't be able to hear it, but I do. The outro to a show I've heard numerous times called The Dick Van Dyke Show playing on low from Wanda's TV. The bag of chips sitting on her bed, slowly crumbling down. Or even Wanda's breathing slightly increases when she follows my gaze before looking back at me. Wanda clears her throat before asking. "Would you like to join me?"

"No- I-"

"No, Y/N. Come on, it'll be fun." Wanda excitedly pulls a smile and looks up at me. "Please?" Her lips form into a pout that I see right through, but I give in. "Okay." In an instant, the witch is pulling me to her room and using her powers to shut the door behind us.

Once the door closes, I take in the surroundings. The only quarters I've seen the inside of is my own. Wanda's is drastically different from mine. She has color and a specific pop that mine lacks. Her identity is all over the room. In fact, it's as bright as she is.

Although, thank goodness she isn't any brighter than the sun, or I wouldn't be able to see her.

Little vampire joke.

Hmm? I move my head to see Wanda looking at me, holding her lip between her teeth. Her heartbeat has picked up once again. "Everything okay?" I ask. Wanda nods her head at me before waving me over to the edge of the bed. "Come sit." I take one step before: "Oh no, no, wait!" Wanda stands and stops my movement with her hand. "Wasn't I supposed to invite you in?!" Wanda lowers her hand but looks at me with such intensity, but I have no idea what she means. "Huh?"

"Vampires, aren't they- like- you uh, vampires can only be allowed to places if they're invited. Right?" Everything I was thinking before this moment is melting away the more I look at the witch's face. "Where did you hear that from?" I manage to ask without laughing.

"Well, Pietro said that you- oh my God, never mind!" Wanda puts her head into her hands and laughs, letting me break as well. "Don't listen to my brother!"

"Well, I wasn't going to start now." I take a seat next to Wanda. Close enough to be comfortable and not touching. This seems to satisfy Wanda as she starts the episode of the show over. "Have you seen this?" I shake my head no as the introduction with a tune begins to play. "Um.. before.. Well, before, this wasn't something that existed, and then it's not like Hydra had time for enhanced like me (monsters) to be watching.. whatever this is called." I smile and force a chuckle at the end of my sentence as I look at Wanda. She has a frown on her face that confuses me, but before I can comment on it, she looks away from me and to the screen as the show begins.

I'm Weak.

"Hmm?" Wanda looks over at me. "I didn't say anything."

"Oh." Wanda's eyes stay on me before she once again looks at the man on screen. "It's called Bewitched. The show we're watching." I look over to Wanda, who holds her hands together. "Before Hydra and the bombings.. these shows. These American shows were what my family had. Whatever Papa didn't sell, we got to watch and learn for one more night. This." Wanda gestures to the screen. "This was always one of my favorites." Wanda rubs her hands on her thighs. "It's why I always have them on. So I don't forget them."

Wanda turns to face me, and I see the tears in her eyes. "I never told anyone that." I scoot closer and, wrap my arms around the sad witch and hold her close.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Wanda," I say into the top of her head, knowing she'll hear me.

Seconds of holding her turn into minutes, not that I mind beca- "Y/N?" Wanda pulls out of the hug and looks up at me. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?" I hesitate. Questions at Hydra were always a trick. "Sure." Wanda nods and wipes her eyes. "Do you like being here? At the compound." I nod almost immediately. "Anything better than Hydra, huh," Wanda says, making me smile and nod again. "Yeah."

"Can I ask another question?" The first didn't hurt, so why not? "Okay." Wanda turns her body more towards me now. "Do you trust me?" I hear Wanda's heartbeat pick up as she waits for my answer. But why do I wait? Of course, I trust Wanda. She helped me. She saved me. It's Wanda!

She's using you.

"I'm not!" Wanda speaks up with a wide-eyed look, slightly startling me. "Oh my God, Y/N, I'm sorry!"

What?? Did she just read my thoughts?

"No, Y/N! I didn't mean to. I normally don't. It's just your thoughts are so loud sometimes! Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

I slowly move myself off the bed and start backing away from Wanda, who looks at me with a destroyed look. "I promise." She pleads. "Y/N, please." Wanda stands up and walks to me. For a second, when I blink, I see us back in Hydra's cell after she arrived with the rest of the team. "Y/N?" I close my eyes and focus on the one thing that matters right now.

"Repeat it," I ask. "What? I-" "The apology.. I believe you, Wanda, but please.."

I sense Wanda nod, and I listen to her as she voices her sorrows once again—every word she says with conviction and truth.

Especially when she says: "And you're not weak. Or a monster. I've fought monsters. They don't look like you." Wanda quickly smiles. "No matter what you think or what Hydra made you think. You're stronger than most people I've met in this line of work. Because of what you had before them. Before the bite. Is you. It's you, Y/N. I'll always remind you of that."

I open my eyes and run back into her arms. "Can I, uh, ask you something," I ask into the air floating around us. "Anything."

"You never have... or ever will use me, right?" I hold onto Wanda tighter because I know if I look into her eyes, I'll break down. "Never Y/N. I never have, and I never will." Truth. "Thank you." I hold her close and let the few happy thoughts I have fly around my brain.

"Read my thoughts, Wanda."

Wanda giggles at one of my favorite memories before her. "I know you didn't mean to read my thoughts before. It's okay, Witchy."

"Sometimes they just get too loud, and I can't help it. It happens to the others as well. But tonight, your nightmare- I just wanted to ensure you were okay."

I swallow the lump in my throat. Not because she saw my nightmare. I had a feeling. But because she cared enough to check on me.

"Thank you for waking me."

"Now Y/N. Can I ask you something?" I let out a shaky breath with a smile as my grip around Wanda loosens. "Sure."

"This isn't my question, but can you look at me?" I look down to see a smile on the witch's face. She pulls the ends of her sleeves down and wipes below my eyes. "Better." She says with another shining smile before it morphs into a soft, compassionate face. "This is a serious question. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Pietro says vampires can't have garlic. Is this true?" Wanda's lips crack into a smile just as mine do the same. The air in the room becomes lighter as her angelic laughs fly around. "No, it's not true."

"Stakes? True or false?" She asks as we find ourselves planting our butts in the middle of the bed. The complicated conversation and the show playing in the background become something we can look back on. "Wooden stakes. Yes. True." Wanda makes a hmm noise before offering me the Garlic and Herb bag of chips that's been sitting there since I got here. "The team. Do they trust me?"

"Bucky no. Natasha maybe. The rest, yes. But that's because you scare two of them." I tilt my head, confused. "Who do I scare? I've barely talked to them."

"Sam and Peter."

That makes sense. Wanda hums in agreement before taking some chips and placing them in her hand. "Besides flying, strength and powers. What else can you do?" Wanda innocently asks.

"I can turn into a bat."

"Shut up!! Really?!" I shake my head no and laugh to let her know I was joking. "Aww Y/N! That would've been so cool. And cute!!"

Cute!?

"Do your fangs hurt?" Wanda asks before eating her last chip. "Not me," I respond with a wide grin, showing off the fangs that, for some reason, I hear Wanda's heartbeat growing faster..?

"Wow." Wanda breaths out before she looks away from me and to the room around us. "Let's get more comfortable," Wanda suggests as she gets up and grabs the remote for her string lights, dimming them before moving to the top of her bed. Leaning her back against the headboard. "Come on." Wanda waves me over again.

Just like before, I get comfortable next to Wanda; however, where there was space between our bodies before it is now gone. As her thigh touches my own. "Is this okay?" Wanda asks me. I don't know whether she's referring to us touching or the new show she's putting on, but I nod.

I smile at the thought that this won't be the last time I watch TV with Wanda in her room. "It won't be." She smiles at me.

"Thank you, Wanda."

"You're welcome, Detka."

dividers by @/benkeibear

[lina-linny]

summary: you are in an secret relationship with Wooyoung

Words: 1.5k

I carefully walked through the corridors of the backstage area until I found the right door. I hesitated briefly before pushing the door handle down to prepare myself mentally for the chaos that was likely to come with a job at Ateez.

When I actually got into the mess by opening the door and walking through, I was still anything but prepared for the hectic bustle inside the waiting room.

Wooyoung noticed me first. His face lit up in an instant and he came rushing towards me to embrace me.

"yyyyyyyyyyyy/nnnnnnnnnnnnnn I missed you sooooo much!!!" he wailed as he hugged me. "Woo we last saw each other two hours ago.

" I said softly but couldn't resist pressing him a little closer to me.

"But that was way too long! I really missed you." He didn't say the last sentence so exaggeratedly and I knew he meant it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I couldn't handle these quick switches from fun to sincerity that Wooyoung sometimes made.

"I was only gone because I had something to do," I explained.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Wooyoung sounded really surprised, but didn't move a bit in our embrace.

"Didn't think of it, sorry." I stroked his hairline.

"Do you want to make it up to me?" He asked into the crook of my neck. Now Woo lifted his head and grinned at me challengingly. I sighed inwardly. What was this restless man up to again? Definitely nothing good. However, I really owed him one. So I just shrugged my shoulders. Woo's grin grew even wider if possible.

"You could kiss it good again. Then I might forgive you." Wooyoung stared directly into my eyes, which were widened with surprise, while his face hovered right in front of mine. My gaze slid to his lips. While we were standing there, I had completely blocked out the other people in the room, but at that moment they came back to me like alarm bells.

I squirmed out of Wooyoung's embrace with a bright red head, stuck my tongue out at him and disappeared as quickly as possible.

~☆~

I stared at the hellish mess in front of me. Wooyoung, san and yeosang were lying on the floor. They were making a murderous noise while San and Wooyoung started tickling and kissing poor Yeosang.

But as sorry as I felt for Yeosang, couldn't he scream and cry a little quieter? Besides, it would be more pleasant for everyone present if San and Woo could continue at a more subdued volume. (They would never stop voluntarily anyway. That's why I didn't get my hopes up).

I loved all the boys they were just a bit too loud for some. My migraine from the day before was throbbing in my head and yet I had to smile at the sight of these three idiots.

I had known ateez for 5 years now. I had been with them since the beginning of their career. I work as a make up artist for KQ and loved my job as well as the people I did it with. They were all like a second family to me.

I had taken all eight members of Ateez to my heart, but I was particularly fond of one person. Whenever he teased me with banalities or laughed uproariously about something while clapping his hands, my heart fluttered a little too much.

I had fallen in love with young Wooyoung bit by bit over time. And while everyone just saw us as two good friends, something else developed between us.

Wooyoung's flirting was almost too obvious. When a friend tells you that you can "kiss it good again" while his face hovers inches away from yours, that's not normal.

But if you could still somehow ignore all these clear signs, it was over by our first kiss at the latest. Good friends don't kiss, don't spend hours thinking about how the other person's lips tasted or feel that unbearable tingling all over their body.

Good friends didn't say "I love you" to each other, but we did all that. We loved each other behind closed doors.

Sighing, I came back to reality and made my way to my make up desk. Let's get to work!

~☆~

It started relaxed. Jongo came first. He didn't talk that much. Just let me do my work silently.

Then came Hongjoong. He practiced his rap parts of the songs that Ateez was about to perform. Sometimes he shook me a little, which is why I asked him to be quiet for a moment at the most important parts. As soon as I finished, he started singing again, which made me smile.

Next it was Yeosang's turn. He was also very quiet, but had small conversations with me from time to time. When there was silence, it was never unpleasant but simply reassuring.

Then came Seonghwa. The Korean talked to me the whole time. We had a relaxed conversation and talked about all sorts of things.

After these four members had been so relaxed, I naively assumed that the remaining four would be similarly calm. But I rejoiced too soon.

The next three (San, Yunho and Mingi) teased me incessantly. Obviously the three of them had observed the situation after my arrival and thought it was a good idea to tease me about Wooyoung. I actually knew that I shouldn't take the teasing to heart, but it wasn't that easy. I was bright red and didn't talk while I was doing their make-up. While my lips were drawn into a thin line.

Mingi quickly understood that I was very uncomfortable and quickly dropped the subject, but my hands were shaking slightly as I started to do Wooyoung's make-up. Even though I tried to hide the trembling, Wooyoung definitely noticed how my hands were shaking.

"You look really sexy." he grinned in an attempt to cheer me up and I forced a smile. He fround and took my hands carefully in his, preventing me from continuing with my job.

"Y/n what's wrong?" he asked quietly. He didn't need to ask if anything was wrong he knew it was and he also knew that if he asked if anything was wrong I would always answer that "everything was fine" even if I was dying inside. I wasn't good at talking about my problems but I did my best.

"The others saw us... at the entrance... earlier." I became even redder and wondered whether the rest of my body was still supplied with blood if I had this amount of blood on my face.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"You know you're not making me uncomfortable. It's just... I don't know either... I think I'm afraid people will think I took advantage of my position or something. If they find out you'remy boyfriend." I only whispered the last part but Wooyoung had heard it.

"I understand that you're worried but we both know that you would never take advantage of your position. That's all that matters. And if anyone ever says something like that, you have every right to punch them in the face." His tone was now deadly serious and my heart warmed because he wasn't just dismissing my concerns like so many before him.

"When you're ready I'll tell them all that you're with me and I'm with you, that i love you more than the anything and if anyone makes a stupid comment..." he didn't finish the sentence but it was enough for me. I smiled hopefuly and nodded.

After this i simply continued with the make-up. This time calmer than before. Woo stared at me the whole time but remained silent.

So I turned my attention to his lips. I had chosen the perfect shade of lipstick for them and was now applying it. I was so focused that I didn't notice my boyfriend starting to stare at my lips.

I made the final stroke and took a step back to look at my work, but before I knew it, his lips came closer to me and stopped inches from my own. By stopping he wanted to give me a chance to escape. He wanted me to decide if I was ready for it. I was confused by his actions but I didn't hesitate for a moment.

As I joined our lips our souls merged into one . our lips moved in unison. My lipstick smudged with his but I couldn't have been more indifferent. We both felt this pleasant tingle run through our bodies.

When we broke away, we giggled. I heard clapping and whistling from the corner of the room where the rest of the Members and Staff were sitting. They all beamed at me, which also put a smile on my face.

I looked back at Wooyoung, who was already being teased by san for always making a big show out of everything and that he shouldn't brag about me like that. They both laughed so heartily that it only deepened my smile.

But as nice as the situation was, Wooyoung's lipstick was now officially ruined and I definitely needed to fix it again before he went on stage.

~☆~

I watched as the eight members all made their final preparations. Some checked their in-ear again, others stretched, and even others went over their lines one last time.

Wooyoung did none of this. He preferred to snuggle up to me and ignore the fact that he had to be on stage in a few minutes.

"Woo you have to go! You can't just stay with me."

"And what if that's exactly what I want?  just want to cuddle with my girlfriend." I sighed but had to smile. This stupid boy.

"Come on, don't be like that. You can cuddle with me again in a few hours."

"But that's far too long!"

The manager's voice announced that everyone should get ready. In a minute they were ready to go on stage. Wooyoung broke away from me, grumbling and complaining, and joined the other members.

The music started and the first one walked onto the stage, then the second. Suddenly Wooyoung broke away from the queue, ran back to me and planted a kiss on my rosy lips.

Then he ran straight onto the stage as the last of the eight members. Smiling, I ran my finger over my swollen lips. He was such an idiot sometimes, I thought, shaking my head. My idiot.

[aerkame]

A Spell For a Hoard Part 1

Thought I'd give you guys a lil' treat before I go off to sleep (I need to fix my sleep schedule lol). Also because I wanted to do a little bit of world building. Let me know how I'm doing! Fandom: Welcome Home Finfolk AU Relationships: Implied Wally x Reader Summary: Wally completes a deal with the stranger to get what he needs.

Note: Sorry there will be a part 2, I just got too tired to keep writing xd

______________________________________________________________

Everyone knew what the finfolk were capable of, if you were knowledgeable enough that is. This world was full of all kinds of creatures; but some creatures like his own kind, the finmen and finwomen of the sea, were not as known as the more infamous species such as the fae, dragons, orcs, vampires, and mermaids. The usual creature that comes to mind when one talks about myths and folklore.

Not being as well known of a species has its perks though, that's how Wally found himself here.

No one batted an eye at the short customer that made their way through the crowded town and into a nearby tavern. No one said anything or had shown any suspicion when said customer went into the back of the employee's area and up the stairs. It was almost funny really. Wally could walk around with his fins and scales in full view and not one person would know what he really is. If anything, the average person would probably mistake him for a siren or a mermaid, perhaps even a hybrid offspring of a land-dweller and a mermaid. And yet, there are so many out there that pride themselves in being oh so knowledgeable on every creature to ever exist. What prideful idiots.

Staring at the door, Wally squinted. There were faint glowing swirls and lettering of unknown origin engraved into the framing and wood. It took a bit of thinking. Draconic tongue, a protection spell from what it looks like.

With a droopy eyed smile, he straightened his clothing before gingerly knocking, arm folded behind his back to keep the friendly appearance.

Clicks and moving gears could be heard within the locks of the door. It only took a moment before the glowing lettering disappeared and the door slowly creaked open. Two glowing red eyes stared at him from the dark of the room. Lightning flashed briefly, revealing the humanoid, but clearly, draconic figure sitting at the desk.

"Take a seat."

A female's voice rang out throughout the office, it was commanding and demanded respect.

Wally gave a warm but lazy smile as he stepped in, the door shutting behind with a slam.

"I didn't take you as the type for protection spells." His voice came out buttery smooth, innocent, and comforting to listen to. He sometimes wondered if there was siren somewhere in his family tree. Wally lifted himself up and kicked his feet slowly while seated in the the chair, one far too big for him. He didn't feel like shifting to be bigger though.

"Don't be daft, you and I both know it would be unwise of me to leave myself unprotected." Those red eyes glared down at the 'puppet' man. Void and dreamy half-lidded eyes stared back.

Wally tilted his head to the side cutely, finger to his lip as if in thought. "Oh? Is it because you're expecting dangerous company?"

Claws dug into the desk, splintering the wood. "Don't you DARE get those half-witted detectives involved or so help me!-"

Putting hand up to stop whatever was next, Wally bent forward with a widened grin. "Oh, I won't tell anyone, I swear it." He began to lean over the desk itself, resting his face into the palm of his hand with those same sleepy eyes.

"That is if you keep your end of the deal. Riiiight?~"

His words were sickly sweet, Wally having sang song the last part as if he were talking to a child. It was adorable to anyone else, but here, it was a clear threat.

[sunnynwanda]

Trouble of Mind: Part 1

Part 2

It's been a week. A week since Hero did something unacceptable. It wasn't exactly forbidden, more like a rule they imposed on themselves for ethical reasons. No matter how much they needed information reading Villain's mind was always out of the question.

They did it a week ago. Amidst the battle, for no particular reason. A thought had flickered behind Villain's gaze only to disappear in the dark pools. And Hero followed. Unconscious at first, an impulse that drew them in. That was the biggest mistake they had ever made. And it backfired.

Villain had no idea why they jerked away so quickly and accepted defeat just so they could escape. The contents of Villain's psyche traumatised them. The things that Hero saw inside their consciousness were disturbing, but what they found deep in Villain's unconscious mind sent reverberating waves through their body. Hero hasn't been able to sleep ever since - countless nightmares served as their only companions for seven long and lonely nights.

Hero sighs, brushing their hair back from their forehead. The sleepless nights were taking their toll on them. Dark bags had settled under their eyes, heavy with the knowledge of the secrets held in Villain's mind.

They hadn't attended to any of the challenges presented by their enemy in the week that ensued. It was not because of the lack of proper rest but rather rooted in their inability to face them after discovering things meant to be hidden. They hadn't left their house at all for the risk of running into someone they knew. Hence why the knock on their door didn't surprise them. They remained quiet for a long moment, waiting for the person to leave, and when the knocking seized, exhaled in relief and returned to their couch for another attempt of rest to turn into torment.

Except it did not. Hero lets out a content sighs, turning so that they are now lying on their back. They yawn, stretching to snap their muscles in place. It feels like a heavy burden has been lifted off of their shoulders. It's only when they try to open their eyes, that they realise something is off.

"What the f..." A hand on their chest prevents them from sitting up, then presses them back down. What the hell?

"Shh, it's just a compress," a familiar voice fills their ears, only increasing the panic. "Don't freak out."

"Villain?" Their throat goes dry. They reach for the cloth that's covering their eyes and forehead. Villain is seated by their bed with a glass of water ready.

"Drink this," Hero shakes their head, propping themselves up against the headboard. With a sigh, Villain takes a sip. "See? It's not poisoned. Just drink it, it'll help."

"What are you doing here?" And what am I doing here? They could bet they were on the couch a few minutes ago. How did Villain get into their apartment and move them without them waking up?

"Helping you deal with the consequences of your own actions," despite the sarcastic tone - Villain seems genuine in their concern. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Pardon?" They jolt, almost jumping in place. No one knew Hero had that ability. Villain couldn't possibly know. Right?

"You shouldn't have read my mind, babe." Hero's eyes widen in shock. Villain shrugs nonchalantly, taking the cloth from their hand. "My past is too much to handle even for myself."

"How did you..?" A million questions are circling in Hero's head, yet they cannot form a single full sentence.

"Gosh, for a mind reader, you are quite dense," Villain shakes their head, then presses a palm against Hero's burning forehead. Their fingers are gentle and cold, Hero almost leans into their touch. "Did you think I wouldn't feel you in my head?"

"I-I'm sorry," their heartbeat is accelerating, which doesn't help the fever, so they take a deep breath, attempting to steady themselves. "I really am. I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I know." Villain dips the compress into a bowl of ice water, then brushes Hero's hair back, wiping their forehead and temples. Hero lets out a content sigh, allowing their eyes to fall shut. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"What for?" They can feel the cloth against the bridge of their nose, then right behind their right ear.

"Help, obviously," Villain tilts their head for better access. "When was the last time you slept?"

"You know the answer to that," is all they can muster, their body relaxed under gentle touches. Villain nods, ignoring the fact that Hero's eyes are closed.

"Put a cold compress on your forehead and ice cubes on your pulse points - that helps." They stop their manipulations, and Hero has to stop themselves from huffing in complaint. Instead, they open their eyes to look at Villain. "I use essential oils and sleep in complete darkness when it gets bad."

"Do you have them often?" Hero's voice is barely above a whisper, but Villain hears.

They nod with a heavy sigh and focus their gaze on Hero's ear, which is crimson red. They wonder if it's a reaction to the cold or their touch. "That's what failed brainwashing does to you, babe."

Hero freezes for a second. When they finally speak, their voice is coarse. "I'm sorry."

Villain offers them a quiet smile before getting up. "Come find me if you still can't rest," they say over their shoulder and vanish before Hero has a chance to thank them.

Hero knows they've made a mistake. A mistake that makes it hard to breathe and almost impossible to sleep. One that led them into the dreams and nightmares of their nemesis. One that gave them a chance to repair the damage they've unearthed and - potentially - heal Villain's troubled mind.

They know they've made a mistake, so when the sun begins to set on the horizon, they knock on Villain's door.

Part 2

Masterlist

[twotangledsisters]

Chains of Regret

Terribly unoriginal title but hey, this one-shot isn't about originality, it's about angst and practicing first person writing.

Warnings for the story: mentions of major character death (not majorly graphic but continue at your own risk)

The cold, damp air of the dungeon clings to my skin. The iron chains weigh on my wrists, but I barely feel them. All I can see, all I can think about, is her. Rapunzel. She was gone in an instant. The light of the Sundrop extinguished as Zhan Tiri’s cruel laughter echoed in the room. As I watched, a sense of helplessness washed over me, witnessing the combined power of the Sundrop and Moonstone fueling a demon’s strength as it seized her. The demon’s grip on Rapunzel was unyielding, constricting her so tightly that her screams of agony pierced the silence, each one more desperate than the last. And that last one… it was the last breath to leave her lips, alongside the light in her eyes. I wanted to scream, to run to her, to fight for her, but my feet wouldn’t move. The black rock armour that had previously given me strength now weight me down, kept me on the ground, helplessly watching. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ve replayed that moment a thousand times in my mind, wishing it could be different. I try to imagine a world where I wasn’t the one who betrayed her. But every time, the ending is the same. The light disappears, the darkness wins, and I’m left alone. Zhan Tiri didn’t even acknowledge me when Rapunzel fell. She was too focused on the power she’d finally claimed, on tearing down the walls of Corona and destroying it’s people. The kingdom fell in hours. The guards, the people—they all tried to fight back, but it was hopeless. What’s a sword or a shield against a force that can tear the sun and moon from the sky? And me? I just stood there. A puppet with its strings cut, wondering why my heart was still beating when Rapunzel’s had stopped. I don’t know why Zhan Tiri spared me. She didn’t gloat or taunt when she tossed me into this dungeon. She didn’t look me in the eye as the chains were locked around my wrists and ankles. It’s like I didn’t even matter to her anymore so why let me live when everybody I loved had to die? Maybe that’s it. Maybe this is my punishment. To be forgotten. To be nothing. But to still be alive. This is what I deserve. To live with the weight of what I’ve done. To be haunted by the memory of the friend I betrayed, the parent I left behind, the kingdom I doomed. Every breath I take is a reminder that I’m still here and they’re not. That I was the one who opened the door for Zhan Tiri, who let the darkness in. If Rapunzel were here, she’d tell me to be strong, to find hope, to keep fighting. But she’s not here. I’m alone with my thoughts, and they’re louder than any encouragement she could have offered. Maybe Zhan Tiri kept me alive as a trophy. Proof that even the fiercest loyalty can be corrupted, that even the strongest bonds can be broken. Or maybe I’m just a loose end she hasn’t bothered to tie up yet. Something to deal with later. Or most likely, I return to my first thought; she left me alive because she knew that death would be a mercy. That living with the knowledge of what I did would be far worse than any pain she could inflict. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Days, weeks—it all blurs together. I don’t know if there’s anyone left to care, if there’s anyone still fighting. But I do know one thing: I’ll never stop asking myself why. Why did she let me live? Why didn’t I die alongside the rest? Why couldn’t I see the truth until it was too late? But the worst question, the one that gnaws at me in the darkest moments of the night, is this: Was I ever worth saving at all? The chains rattle as I shift, the sound echoing in the silence. I close my eyes, and for a moment, I can almost hear Rapunzel’s voice, my father’s orders, Eugene’s bickering and my people’s screams. But when I open them again, all that’s left is the darkness, and the crushing weight of what could have been.

[sourbinnie]

☆ home ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ; hurt/comfort ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> skz + 9th member!reader (gender neutral) ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> the truth is out (again) but this time it brings tears along the way. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> none ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

old faces, new smiles

a/n: i didn't do the same scenario cus i didn't wanna be repetetive but i did something quite similar, that's why i'm putting the og fic link! hope you enjoy it and thank you for requesting<3 / also this one is in first person and idk why, it just came out that way.

i knew doing one of these interviews where they asked nonstop questions about your past, your family and just how your idol journey started was gonna be difficult. i already went through telling my members that i was on hybe before, yet now i found yourself in a similar situation. reliving memories was not hard but having to share them in such a deep space with others and not shed a tear or two was gonna be a challenge.

i sat down with the rest of your members and prepared myself as hyunjin held my hand carefully. he knew i was nervous about these kinds of things, i was one of the shy members of the group and yet they always brought the best out of me when we talked.

"okay are we ready?" chan asked and everyone nodded. the conversation started with the older members sharing their best memories in jyp and how much their family meant and how they supported (or did not) them. it was a light and sweet conversation, there wasn't any tears but there were clear emotions in chan's voice, minho's expressions and changbin's movements. 

it wasn't hard to notice that i was really freaking out when they were sharing images and videos of us as trainees. it completely stopped when they showed the hybe dance practice rooms and my videos in there, doing choreographies i still remembered to this day and i knew it was my turn to speak. i laughed when they showed old photos with different idols that i still hold contact with these days. some really close friends, some that i haven't heard back from in a while, some that left like i did and some that debuted just now.

"it's insane how much potential you've always had (y/n)." changbin said it clearly and it took me by surprise because i wasn't expecting compliments this early and i got really embarrassed by those kinds of comments. they filled my soul but i never knew how to answer them. 

"even now looking at you, you grow more and more every day." minho mumbled and i still caught every word of his in my ear. it was truly wonderful seeing your elders appreciate you in such a moving way.

this is when the questions start so i prepared myself and i try to rethink what i went through.

"so as you all know, due to that interview with le sserafim, i was a hybe trainee. i spent most of my early teenage years training and made a lot of friends that i miss a lot these days but i hope to see someday." i took a deep breath 'cause even if they weren't completely gone, people just disappeared from my life left to right and i still miss them to this day. "it's insane how different it is from one company to the other but i left hybe with the best memories that i could and i made that decision myself."

"why did you decide to leave?" seungmin asked and i realized that i never was very clear on why i left, i just said that i had to move out and that jyp was closer. it wasn't so much like that but a bit more complex and i didn't want to sadden the mood that day but right now it felt like the situation was gonna be brought to that.

"i-i don't know exactly what it was. i just made the decision when i was going to debut that i wanted to leave the group because i didn't feel prepared mentally and physically to be an idol, which was a shame because i knew a lot of people wanted to be in my position and i felt like i was letting them down. so i decided to leave hybe and move to a different place." i said bitterly and honestly but with everything i was feeling at that moment. i knew my members right now would understand what i was saying but at the time i remember no one understanding my decision. 

i felt the tears the entire time in my eyes but right now i had let them go as they flowed through my cheeks. i grabbed a little tissue that jeongin was handing me and whispered a "thanks innie" as i wiped them away.

"what you did was incredibly brave. you put yourself first and what you needed at the time was that. i know it might be hard looking back and thinking that but for a reason you ended up here with us and i think we wouldn't be complete without you." chan said as he patted my back and i just gave him a little smile. it brought me back to where i was, with my friends, well more like my family.

"when i decided to get back to the idol life and back to my dream, i knew i had to go somewhere else. i just felt like i needed to start over again for me and for everyone to see that i could still do it. so i ended up at the competition with all of you and unfortunately got eliminated but then returned and since then i did not look back." i said smiling as everyone cheered and looked at me with a spark in their eyes. all i ever wanted was to make my members' proud and i felt like i was achieving that.

"you really did bring our joy when you came back (y/n), it wasn't easy without you. also felix and minho coming back was one of the best decisions!" jisung added as minho hit him in the shoulder for forgetting them but it just made me laugh. i sighed as i looked around and held hyunjin's hand still in mine.

"i just feel like it wasn't over, it never was. maybe i misread things at the time that i left but if it wasn't for that, i wouldn't have ended up here." i nodded and looked back at everyone. the way they were listening to every word i said was too much because i usually struggle with expressing emotions and saying the right things but i felt like i nailed it this time with how much they were giving me right now.

"i feel like you made the right choice. we wouldn't be having an ace right now if you didn't join back." felix said and i rolled my eyes 'cause i hated when they called me that. 

"two aces, don't forget about me." jisung said winking which made minho hit him again and i couldn't help but laugh again. god i loved this group so much and that wasn't gonna change ever. even right now as i was trying to hold back the tears because that conversation meant so much to me, they still managed to make me laugh every time that i needed it.

"i feel like i've said everything i have to say. stop showing pictures and videos of me please, i beg you." i said and what did they do? show more pics of pre debut me. 

"the fact that i've got most of these saved speaks volumes of me." hyunjin said, which made me drop his hand and look at him in disbelief. "it's blackmail because you have pictures of me as a baby!".

these are the discussions that are held on the dorms on a day to day basis. but either way, i wouldn't change it for anything in the world and i couldn't believe that i was brought to such a beautiful situation where i would meet my family, my friends, the ones that i would spend the rest of my days with if i could. everything felt on it's right place like i hoped it would and i could not be more thankful.