#and yes its old spice

[sickfires]

when people talk about june i dont think theyre doing it right. they give her like cute pigtails and croptops and programmer socks and all these girly interests like makeup. no. she wears nothing but nic cage t-shirts and cargo shorts. she still doesnt know what a bra is. i dont think she's ever stepped foot in a bath and body works in her entire life. i think she uses 3-in-one body wash/shampoo.

[that-butch-archivist]

I'm not sure if this will take off but I'd love to be indulged. I just read through an old reddit thread where butches talked about what colognes they wore and liked, and got to thinking that it'd be fun to do the same.

[clownsuu]

OH NO HOME IS A DILF 😳

I think he’s more legally considered a Gilf KDHHDHDH

[alonetimelover]

pairing: (ex)Harry Styles x Ginger Spice's daughter!reader x Max Verstappen

fc: Sabrina Carpenter

summary: They broke up and she decided to disappear and write a heartbreaking song. Through this process her old friends from F1 were with her. With one two-time World Champion getting closer and closer.

warnings: swearing, cheating, Harry is an asshole in this (sorry!)

a/n: Long? Oh yes. It's a long one. But also my first F1 related fic, hope you enjoy!

masterlist

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

f1 and redbullracing

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 349 392 others

f1 Is there a better way to start 2023 season than with YN YSN (sweetly called the tiny boss of Red Bull Racing) in the paddock? We say there is NOT! Welcome YN, we hope you have the best time with us!

view all 19 323 comments

yourinstagram thank uuuuu!

danielricciardo THE boss is here!

landonorris *heart eyes*

charles_leclerc Welcome back, YN!

ynupdates oh how i missed her face

ynsmybestie 5 months without even a photo of her finger online... it was a draught

ynsmymama yn's a vroom vroom girlie?????

ynsmybabie F1? is she a fan? tiny boss? what is going on?

⤷ ynupdates I feel like I'm the only one that knew. YN is Christian Horner's (red bull racing boss) step-daughter.

⤷ ynsmybestie isn't his wife ginger spice?

⤷ ynupdates yes! she's YN's mum. how do you guys not know that?

⤷ ynshands maybe because she's using her grandma's surname and not her mother's?

formulafan49 so we're getting las vegas content in bahrain? this sport is getting out of control with all those celebrities attending

⤷ landonorizz why are you being bothered by somebody that knows almost everything about formula 1? go be mad somewhere else

——————————————————————————————

yourinstagram

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 2 201 302 others

yourinstagram hiii💛 took a break and wrote a song. you're losing me is out now! i love all of you my pathological people pleasers.

view all 91 393 comments

danielricciardo be a happy song with me?

⤷ yourinstagram running to you right now

⤷ landonorris bringing mum's biscuits

⤷ maxverstappen1 I'll bring myself 😊

⤷ danielricciardo you lot weren't invited, but come in... I guess

landonorris you're the only person I'm not mad at for making me cry, ynn

⤷ yourinstagram you've heard the song before, lan

⤷ landonorris shhhh

⤷ danielricciardo it won't make her fall in love with you, norris

⤷ landonorris fuck you man

maxverstappen1 💛💛

ynupdates WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED HERE

ynsmybestie I won't recover. I fucking won't recover

ynsmymama I'm gonna die... its so sad. its heartbreaking. I'm losing myself

hArrysbtch woah, my heart cannot take this

harrysmoustache firstly, break my heart and take it, yn

harrysmoustache secondly, why is the whole f1 here? wtf

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 45 202 others

harryupdates In his latest interview Harry was asked about his private life - especially his relationship with YN. After the question of "do you feel like you throw a great love away?" Harry answered with "I don't know. I don't regret a lot of things in my life but that's [the relationship] probably one of them." You can read the interview via the link in our story!

view all 4 201 comments

hArrysbtch suddenly a six year lasting relationship was a mistake???

hArrysbtch ehh, harry. i kinda feel that the breakup (from Harry's side) happened a long time ago. there is no sparkle anymore

hArrysbtch now let me start on not mentioning her name like EVER "my last partner" her name is YN, why he can't just say it? it's been going on for years. since they started dating really...

harrysmoustache that wasn't the best interview

ynsmymama about 'you're losing me': "every artist has their imagination that they write down and then release. sometimes it's good and sometimes it should be kept private. i'm not the one to size it up." THAT WAS FUCKING LOW

⤷ harrysmoustache as much as I love him that was petty af

⤷ hArrysbtch especially when almost all critics named this song one of the best LYRICALLY and MUSICALLY in the last few decades

ynshands "I don't know if you can be ready to move on from a longterm relationship. it's definitely harder than from something that lasts months or two years." THIS MOTHERF****R IS TALKING ABOUT NOT BEING THE ONE TO MOVE ON BUT HE DID WHILE STILL BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP??????

⤷ ynsmymama this is called audacity

⤷ harrysfan49 cheating was never confirmed, was it?

⤷ ynsmybestie yes, it was. right after harry's "announcement" yn posted a story with lyrics from 'illicit affairs'. i think that's enough of a confirmation.

ynsmybestie yeah, here he comes again not being able to fucking say her name. those 6 years meant nothing?

⤷ harrysfan92 maybe he doesn't want to share his private relationship online

⤷ ynsmybestie i don't understand that. you're loving a person for six years, claiming them the love of your life, but saying the name is hard? he never mentioned her in interviews (my closest friend, my partner, someone I love). he couldn even show up at her birthday party because he had a photoshoot. just to point out, the drivers showed up in London, even though they had a race in Imola the next day.

⤷ harrysfan87 you guys are toxic. just gonna blame him for the breakup? unbelievable.

——————————————————————————————

ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, landofan92 and 88 203 others

ynupdates YN AND LANDO AT THE NIGHTCLUB IN MONACO!!!!!

view all 6 001 comments

ynsmybestie NO FUCKING WAY

ynsmybestie SHE LOOKS SO HOT

ynsmymama the way he looks at her ??? 🫠

ynsfan92 find somebody who looks at you just like lando looks at yn. YOU CAN'T

⤷ ynsmymuse have you seen how max looks at her?

landofan92 do I need to change my bio from norizz to yesrizz?

user39 yeah, moving on quickly when her exboyfriend is talking about how he adores her

⤷ ynsmybestie where??? because i only saw how awful he was to YN from the moment they broke up

user02 yeah, move on quickly and go trough all the drivers

——————————————————————————————

yourinstagram added to her IG story!

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

lando.jpg

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1 004 392 others

lando.jpg yn showed her favourites

view all 203 494 comments

danielricciardo LIAAAAAR. SHE LOVES ME MORE.

⤷ yourinstagram of course

⤷ lando.jpg i love your sarcasm

maxverstappen1 💛

yourinstagram not my fault you were the only ones available for photos

⤷ maxverstappen1 I don't mind

⤷ lando.jpg neither do I

⤷ danielricciardo I DO

⤷ charles_leclerc I DO TOO

ynsmybestie hot

ynsmybestie but also i see you YN with favouring Max and Lando, i see you girl

ynsmymama why I've never realised how hot those two are???

ynshands is there a thing she does badly?

——————————————————————————————

ynupdates

liked by ynsmybestie, maxandyn and 68 574 others

ynupdates YN and MAX VERSTAPPEN at the bar tonight in Zandvoort, celebrating Max's win!

view all 4 206 comments

ynsmybestie SEE? you defend the girl, you get the girl!

ynsmymama i mean i was rooting for them but i am still speechless

ynshands YAS PARENTS

maxfan85 after the race that he had, tying to yet another record and getting a girl? is there a thing he can't do or can't have??

ynsfan93 sooo, do we say they're together orrr?

⤷ ynsmybestie i mean, look at them. i have many friends but i'm not that cozy with any of them

⤷ ynsmymama i vote early stages of dating. yn's a touchy person in nature so you know, it can be that

——————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————

yourinstagram added to her IG story!

——————————————————————————————

a/n: do you want to see more of them?

——————————————————————————————

part 2

[juniemunie]

Its the kids turn!! ⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

i put way too much effort in this

Don't worry they're still FAR from the conventional nuclear family lmao

PJ is by @/7goodangel

Gradient is by @/askcomboclub

Template by @/unu-nunu-art

Error and Fresh by @/loverofpiggies

Ink by @/comyet

Design notes under!

Design Notes for PJ:

-Error patches up the tears on his scarf! Very nice of him to do.

-All the art materials he has stashed on his belt are for food. He likes to snack on em often.

-Because of Error's..."tolerance" of him, he has more strings that he can use. He's got enough to form legs.

-Fresh gifts him magical ink durable Heely shoes! Instead of shedding footprints all over the place, he can instead heely/skate around and leave behind lines. He's creative on using it during battles. He would never admit it, but he appreciates the gift.

Design Notes for Gradient:

-I based his outfit off ye old web aesthetics like Cyber Grunge,,, I really liked the big pants look on him.

-I placed his scarf on his neck to match with his family, but also to match Template's scarf hehe, a little sign of his influence.

-You can't see it but his laptop bag has a ton of pins and merch of random dated internet references.

-His shoes looking old design Ink's shoes were complete accident but I liked it enough to keep anyway. Maybe Ink gave it to him and he spiced it up!

[lehguru]

FIRST TASK + ONE PIECE MEN

how they would react to their child first task + trafalgar law, roronoa zoro, sanji

info + tw: for the people that dont know— first tasks are something that the kids do alone for their parents in japan, its usually simple stuff, like buying one or two things at the market! also, ive randomized the kids for each of them tw children — ko-fi

trafalgar d.water law thought he wasn't a protective father—when the idea of sending his three year old daughter to buy basic medical supplies alone came up, he was calm about it and agreed. bepo gave her a bag that matched her father's hat, berries to buy the supplies and a pocket den den mushi. while everyone in the crew was almost crying seeing her walk off alone, law let out a soft 'tsk' and said "all of you are overreacting. she will be fine."

it didn't take 10 minutes for him to wonder if she was really fine, where she was, if she was coming back or was still buying things—what if she never made it to the pharmacy at all. he tried to focus on other matters, but those thoughts never left him. he got up and went to leave the submarine, the crew following suit and telling him to wait.

when the door was swung open, golden eyes that mirrored his blinked up at him. she proudly showed the bag with the supplies, her lips splitting into a smile. feeling tears tickling his lower eyelid, law kneeled and gave her a tight hug. "'m so glad you're okay." he murmured, more to himself than anyone else. he pulled away and patted her head. "you did well." while they walked back inside the ship, the little girl started to ramble about her adventure, making a soft smile appear on trafalgar's lips.

roronoa zoro always did things alone as a child, so when nami proposed that he asked his son to do a task in the next island they stop at, zoro groaned a yes. when the day came, he sent off his son with one of his swords—the excuse was to fix it's guard—and just went to take a nap like always. "aren't you worried he might get in trouble?" nami asked, looking at the green haired man with raised eyebrows. zoro shook his head and nami murmured: "okay, well, let's just hope he knows how to use your sword."

upon hearing that, zoro immediately jumped out of the ship, the two swords he still had tied to his belt clicking together. his heart raced as he ran around town, looking for the tiny version of himself—when he found him, it was quite hilarious. "are you challenging the son of the greatest swordsman? how dare you!" the kid yelled, waving his father's sword at a stray cat that didn't seem phased at all. zoro cleared his throat and the green haired child turned fastly, dropping the sword and startling the cat.

"h-hi da—" zoro approaching him made the boy shut himself up. he gulped, his black eyes going wide and his lips pursing. as zoro raised his hand, he prepared himself for a good smack, he closed his eyes and—felt a soft pat on top of his head. "your posture holding the sword was wrong. pick up the sword and let's go, i'll teach you." they started to walk back (away) to the ship, the 'task' long forgotten. but zoro was quite proud of his little one, nonetheless.

sanji adored his son more than everything in the world. even if they didn't look alike appearance wise, the kid behaved so much like him, sanji would do anything to protect him. "i can do it, daddy!" his kid exclaimed one day while they were out getting groceries for the ship. "imma get spices! alone!" the little giggle that left his lips made sanji simply nod and the boy ran away happy before his father could even process his sentences.

after a couple of seconds, sanji ran after the kid, but keeping his distance and watching out for him. surprisingly, the little one was picking up all the right spices and even held the door open for a lady to walk out. feeling his chest swell with pride—and his eyes filling up with tears—, he went back to the store he was previously.

"dad, i got them!" he exclaimed as soon as he saw the blonde. their bright smile could blind everyone around the duo. sanji kneeled to hug him and chuckled. "i'm so proud of you." they walked back home holding hands, talking happily about the exciting dishes they could cook—sanji felt like something inside him was slowly healing.

2024 © content belongs to lehguru, do not repost, translate or feed it into ai without permission

[cupcraft]

Some easy cooking/meal tips as an adult grad student:

You dont need to chop amazingly perfectly and meticuously. At the end of the day chop safely and however. If it tastes good its good.

Instant things can make things 1000% easier for yourself. Instant mash/instant mac/instant rice/instant pasta/etc. Add Frozen things. Add premade things. Your dishes don't have to be from scratch at all aspects ever. Do what is easiest for you and delicious!

You can use pre-ground spices. I know, yes, whole spices and roasting them and grinding them and using a mortar/pestle yourself is delicious and wondrous. But you can use preground spices to save time. You can use a food processor to blend spices/garlic/etc. together.

If you struggle with making too much food (ie food waste concern), try to make dishes you know will freeze well that way you can have leftovers that store for a long time (ie potatoes dont necessarily freeze well imo, whereas rice freezes just fine!). I also recommend just halving recipes and try to shoot for as many portions is suitable for you.

Uh oh made too much rice? What do I do and i dont want to freeze it? 1-2 days in the fridge and you have rice that is going to make an excellent fried rice. You always want to use old rice! And you can put whatever you want in it!

Canned food is okay. Canned food is okay. Canned food is okay. Eat canned meats, fish, vegetables, etc. Imo some canned veggies arent my favorite flavor wise but if you like it and it works USE IT.

Add mayo to each side of your bread when making grilled cheese. It'll make a great brown crust in a buttered pan.

American/processed/velveeta like cheese is fine. Its delicious it melts well its totally fine. Stop demonizing processed foods and "preservatives". Velveeta/kraft cheeses are going to melt so perfectly for your grilled cheese the end.

Instant pots & slow cookers & air fryers can make your life a lot easier, and at least for instant pots/slow cookers I find them easier to clean!

Meal planning will really help you. Plan what you want to eat every week (or as far ahead as it helps you). Pre-cut vegetables. Buy meat in bulk and freeze/thaw as needed. Etc. Prepping/planning will make your life easier!

You can often buy shrimp that is pre-peeled & deveined, and even pre-cooked. This makes cooking time easier and faster.

It's okay to order takeout if you dont have the energy to cook. Its okay to order takeout if you do have the energy to cook. Enjoy and treat yourself.

Preboiling your potatoes (tender but not fully done) then baking them can make a crispier roasted potato.

[roosterforme]

Smarter Than the Average Beer Boy | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: After months of attending your lectures, Bradley has honed his math skills beyond his wildest expectations. A night out with the boys reveals just how smart and endearing your husband really is, even when he has a hangover.

Warnings: Swears, fluff, drinking, oral sex, shirtless Beer Boy, 18+

Length: 3100 words

Pairing: Beer Boy and Sugar! Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)

Happy birthday to @cherrycola27!

This is a one-shot to accompany my fics Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time but it can be read on its own! Banner by @thedroneranger Check out my masterlist

You were on your way to teach your last class of the day, and it was your least favorite one. When the class schedules were being organized for next semester, you planned on begging Dr. Rosenthal to let you trade this awful linear algebra class away for one of his calculus lectures. Because at least calculus was something to which you could add a little spice to keep your students interested, unlike this one.

Even though you already ate the snack your husband packed in your tie dye lunchbox, you were still hungry. You'd have to remind him to pack you something extra next Thursday. But as you were on your way to the lounge to quickly get something from the vending machine, you heard his voice. 

"Sugar."

You spun around in your loafers and tweed skirt and saw your husband in full khaki uniform heading your way. "Beer Boy. What are you doing here?" you asked, giving up on the idea of a snack and heading in his direction instead. "I'm about to give a lecture."

"I know," he said with a smirk, voice all deep and raspy. "I got dismissed early, and I stopped at home to get you a snack. Thought maybe I could join your lecture tonight since I won't get to spend tomorrow evening with you."

You almost dropped your notebook as you wrapped your arms around his waist and propped your chin on his chest. "Are you my snack?" you asked as he leaned down to kiss you.

"Nor exactly," he laughed, holding up two small containers. "I brought you some homemade hummus and pita chips. But if you want to skip your lecture and head up to your office, I'd be more than happy to fuck you while I feed you."

"Tempting," you told him with a moan. He was always so sure of himself when he was with you, and it was a massive turn on. But when he grinned and started pulling you toward the elevators, you had to dig your loafers in. "I can't let my students down," you said with a little pout. "Come on. You can sit in the back and take notes."

"Nah. I'll just watch my hot wife in action. Take some mental notes that I can think about at the bachelor party tomorrow night."

You rolled your eyes as you took the containers from him. "You'll have so much fun with Jake and the boys, you won't even be thinking about me at all."

"Newsflash, Dr. Sugar," he whispered as you entered the lecture hall with his hand on your butt. "I'm always thinking about you."

-----------------------

Yes, it was fun watching you work. Your lectures were informative, and you were very passionate about the subject. You were also gorgeous, and Bradley wouldn't mind watching you do this all day long. And sure, he loved that you wrote a few problems on the board for your students to work through so you could eat the hummus and pita chips he brought. And yeah, he squirmed a bit in his seat when you winked at him from the podium as you licked your fingertip. 

But the really interesting thing was the fact that Bradley was getting pretty fucking good at math now. If he could go back to undergrad studies, he might even choose it as his major instead of political science. Nobody ever really encouraged him to show off his smarts after his mom died. Well, besides you. There was something about the way you always recognized that he was intelligent that made him fall even harder for you. And since he knew what it felt like to live without you for ten years, he didn't mind watching you teach the same classes over and over. He just wanted to be around you.

When you asked if there were any volunteers to work through the problem, Bradley was able to follow every detail and come up with the correct answer from his seat. And when you finally ended the class, he went up to the front of the room and kissed your cheek right in front of the straggling students. "Any chance you can bring one of the homework sheets home for me to work on later this weekend?" he asked, stealing your last pita chip.

You looked up at him with adoring eyes, and it wasn't fair, because you knew what those little tweed skirts did to him. "You're really going to work on a problem set?" 

"Yeah," he told you with a shrug. "Why not? This class was fun, and maybe you can check my answers and reward me?" he asked hopefully. 

"If you want to be my top student, you better get them all correct." You ran your fingers along the front of his khakis as you picked up your notebook and started walking away.

"I'll be so good, Baby," he promised as he followed you out. He was planning on working on the problems on Sunday after he spent all day Saturday recovering from Jake's bachelor party. Tomorrow night was for the boys, but tonight he would be spending with you. 

When he got you home, he boiled a pot of water for some of the homemade pasta he made and dried last weekend, and he started heating up some of his homemade sauce and meatballs. "This is so fucking sexy," you whispered, rubbing up on him in your tweed while you sipped a beer. "You are really good at feeding me."

He stole the bottle and drank some. "You're really good at everything else." When he tried to hand it back, you just shook your head and dropped slowly to your knees. He was already a little hard from all the tweed rubbing, but then you kissed his zipper, and his dick responded immediately. "Look at that. I didn't even have to do the math problems."

You grinned up at him while he sipped the beer. "Maybe this is just a little reminder for you to be good tomorrow night when you're out with the boys. No drinking and driving. No letting them get into fights. No playing beer pong without me. If you're good, then there's more where this came from."

Bradley was really enjoying the cold beer as you undid his belt and button before you eased his zipper down. "I'll be so good. I'm a hundred percent domesticated."

You moaned as his cock sprang free, and you rubbed your face against him. "I know." He was about to tell you he'd been that way since the two of you were college seniors, but suddenly all coherent thoughts left his brain. You were gently kissing his balls as you ran your fingers up underneath his shirt and teased his abs. "You're a very good boy."

His cock was throbbing and tapping you on the cheek as your tongue flicked out to taste him. "Sugar," he grunted before sipping the beer again. 

"Hmm." You were looking up at him as your lips barely met his skin. "What should I do with you?" Somehow you were making Bradley feel submissive even though you were on your knees for him, and he tipped his head back and groaned.

"Fuck me up, Sugar."

"Gladly," you replied, and he felt your tongue draw a slow and steady line from his tight balls all the way to the head of his cock. Bradley watched as you took the very tip of his bouncing length between your pretty lips. All you did was hold eye contact as you sucked on him like he was a piece of candy, your fingers tickling the trail of hair below his belly button, and he was mesmerized. 

"Those pouty lips will be the death of me," he whispered before sipping the beer again. "So fucking pretty." You sucked on him a little harder, and he clenched. Damn, you hadn't even taken him deep yet, and he was already eager. But he didn't care, because you already knew what you did to him.

Then you popped him free, rubbed your nose against his trimmed pubes before kissing his tip and said, "I love you." Then you grabbed him by the hips and let him slide all the way so he was tapping the back of your throat. 

"Oh, fuck," he grunted, already thinking about you gagging on his cum. You shook your head slightly when he was deep, and tears filled your eyes as you sucked. Bradley gripped the bottle, his voice only a harsh whisper as he said, "That's it. That's it. Fuck."

A few more deep thrusts had you struggling, which was honestly so fucking hot to him. You were making desperate little sounds, but you bobbed on him until you gagged. And that's really all it took.

You moaned as he filled your mouth, and he ran his thumb along your cheek as you gently sucked every drop from him. "Show it to me," he whispered softly and you smiled as you released him. Slowly, you parted your lips and tilted your face up for him, showing off your cupped tongue full of his cum. "Beautiful."

Then you swallowed him down and kissed his drained balls once more before you stood and took the beer bottle from his hand. Casually, you took a sip like you didn't just leave him twitching before you. "Is dinner almost ready?"

He was still thinking about it the next night when he was out with all the guys. Jake was marrying Jessica in a month, and all he asked for was a night of bar hopping. Normally Bradley would have been very good at this, but he was thinking about the way he'd fed you bites of pasta while standing in the kitchen as you moaned over how delicious it was. 

"Come on, Rooster, have a shot," Payback said, passing him some tequila. Just a few drinks would help him focus on the night with the guys. "Bottoms up." 

But at first, the drinks just made him think about calling you to see what you were up to. Jessica was supposed to stop by the house to hang out for a while, and he wondered if she was still there. Maybe she left and you were already changed into his Grateful Dead shirt for bed. Maybe he could just get an Uber right now and go home and find out for himself. He'd slip right into bed next to you. 

"Time for the karaoke bar!" Javy announced, and then Bradley had more shots in front of him before he ended up onstage, and he couldn't be sure where his shirt went, but oh well, it didn't really matter since his favorite shirt was at home with you, and it was suddenly time to sing. 

But he did remember to text you and let you know he'd be home very late.

-------------------------

Having the empty house to yourself felt a bit like it did when Bradley was deployed. So in that respect, it made you a little antsy. But on the other hand, it was peaceful when you had Jessica over for some snacks and a glass of wine. It was close to midnight when a bunch of photos came through to your phone and hers. 

"Oh no," she groaned as you scrolled through the images from Mickey. It appeared as though Bradley lost his shirt. Typical. 

"They are a mess," you muttered, finally getting to one where the guys were physically holding Jake up. "You're going to have your work cut out for you tomorrow."

She shook her head but laughed. "I think I'll head home and wait for him. I don't know if he'll even be able to make it from the front door to the bedroom without help."

"Bradley doesn't look much better," you added as you got to the last photo where he was chugging a beer, the amber liquid dribbling down his neck and bare chest. "Oh Lord."

"Call me tomorrow and let me know how bad it is?"

"Yeah," you agreed, walking her to the door and giving her a hug. 

And then you were met with silence again. You changed into Bradley's tie dye shirt and his robe that he'd had since college, but you weren't even slightly tired now. You glanced across the hallway to your office door covered in your own handwriting. 

SUGAR LOVES BEER BOY

Working through an advanced calculus problem before bed would definitely help you unwind. You walked to your white board while you looked up a problem on your phone and then scribbled it down and got to work. Oh, this one was a bit tricky with lots of side math to complete first. The squeak of your marker was soothing, and by the time you got to your tenth line in the proof solution, you were yawning.

"Works like a charm," you muttered, capping the marker and heading back across the hall where you climbed into bed. 

At one point during the night, you thought you heard Bradley stumble in the front door. "Beer Boy?" you called out, rolling over in bed.

You heard him slur, "It's just me, Sugar," followed by the sound of the refrigerator opening up. He'd come to bed eventually after he got a snack. You scooted back all the way to your side, preemptively trying to avoid him being a sticky, sweaty mess. You smiled and curled up, and you were back to sleep in seconds. 

But he never did come to bed, as evidenced by the still crisp bedding on his side when you woke up again at nine. You stretched and climbed out from the pocket of warmth and reached for his robe before you went to search the house. 

You started in the kitchen, thinking that being near the refrigerator might have been more appealing than the bed, but he wasn't there. You glanced out back and on the living room couch, but you didn't see him anywhere. 

"Bradley?" you called out as you looked in the bathroom, but he hadn't even fallen asleep in the tub. You pressed your lips together as you poked your head inside your office and gasped. "Seriously?"

He was sound asleep on the floor, his shirt nowhere to be seen, and he was snoring loudly. An empty ice cream carton and spoon were next to his head, and it looked like he'd eaten a value sized bag of pretzels. There were a few more wrappers and a lot of crumbs on the floor, and you just gaped at him as he started to roll onto his side and look around.

"What the fuck? Why is it such a mess in here? I just cleaned on Wednesday," he groaned, hair sticking up at every angle. He tilted his head and looked up at you through squinted eyes. "What happened?"

You gave him an incredulous look. "Why don't you tell me?"

He continued to look around the room as he sat up. "I don't know," he replied, pushing the pretzel bag to the side as he cradled his forehead in his palm. "Last thing I remember is the guys making me sing Caress Me Down for karaoke. Where's my shirt?"

Your deep sigh should have been warning enough for him, but he looked down at his abs, shocked that he was only wearing half of his outfit. "Once again, Bradley, why don't you tell me?"

"Baby, how am I supposed to know?" he whined. "God, now I have a fucking hangover, and I can't think."

If Jake was also this bad at the moment, then Jessica might need a reassuring phone call later. Hopefully he hadn't destroyed the carpet in their condo. You needed to get Bradley into the shower and then put him in bed so you could clean up the floor, but your eyes caught on your white board, and you gasped. "Bradley."

"What now?" he moaned as he got to his hands and knees in the crumbs. "My head is throbbing."

Your eyes skimmed from the top of the board to the very bottom, and you started laughing. He was looking up at you, confusion swirling along his handsome features as you had to brace your hands on your knees while you gasped for air and cackled. "Beer Boy!"

"Okay, yes," he grunted. "I'm beginning to think I was actually the one who made the mess in here, but I'll clean it up. It's not that funny."

"Bradley!" you screeched, pointing to the board. "You solved my advanced calculus problem!"

Slowly and seemingly painfully, he turned his head to look and crawled closer to the wall. "I don't think so," he muttered. "I don't even know what all of that means." He was standing on his knees, and trying so hard to figure it out. "Holy shit, that's my handwriting."

"It definitely is," you said through your laughter as you gently combed your fingers through his messy hair. He practically melted against your leg with his big hand on your thigh below his robe. "I am... somehow really impressed by this? You got drunk, got a ride home at four in the morning, and then you solved an advanced math problem before you passed out on my office floor."

"Yeah, I'm impressive as hell," he whispered, kissing you through the robe fabric. 

"You know... if you weren't so terribly hungover, I'd offer to blow you again like yesterday. Because this is something only my very best student would be able to do. And I love rewarding my best student." 

You stroked his cheek softly with your knuckles as he stared up at you with parted lips. "Professor Sugar," he rasped. "I'm totally fine. Barely hungover at all."

"Are you sure?" you laughed. "You look a little rough. And you made a huge mess."

"Yeah," he replied immediately. "I'm great. Wanna join me in the shower?"

You bent to kiss his forehead and whispered, "If you think you can handle it."

"Hell yes," he groaned, trying three times before he was able to get to his feet. Then he took you by the hand, and you helped him down the hallway to the bathroom. 

You pointed out the small closet on the way. "And when we're done, the vacuum cleaner is just hanging out right in there, waiting for you to clean up my office."

"Yeah, okay."

------------------------

Happy birthday, Nik! When you mentioned this idea, it had me cracking up. I hope you enjoy it as a birthday gift one day early! Thanks @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls and @thedroneranger

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@chassy21

@solacestyles

@daisyhollyxox

@wintercap89

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@chaoticassidy

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@tallyovie

@shanimallina87

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@lilyevanswhore

@xoxabs88xox

@fanboyswhore9

@xomrsalliej4787xo

@desert-fern

@sylviebell

@wkndwlff

@horseslovers2016

@gennyanydots

@mattyskies

@hookslove1592

@blahehblah

@sadpetalsstuff

@local-spidey

@schoollover

@lex-winchester

@magicalmorg

@nicole01-23

@jessicab1991

@happyrebelruins

@samsgoddess

@ughthisisntright

@bellaireland1981

@sagittarius-flowerchild

[mayhemories]

Hi could you possibly write Neteyam x reader?

- Reader is best friends with Kiri and has feelings for Neteyam

- Reader sees herself as ugly, undesirable and believes Neteyam sees her as a little sister

- Yet Neteyam loves her and respects her

- Sexual tension between Neteyam and reader. linger hands and sneaking glances

- Kiri notices and secretly sets them up one night

Best Friend's Brother

Oh Jesus Christ I loved writing every moment of this, but I kinda strayed away from your last point in the request, I'm sorry! I still hope it satisfies <3

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Reader (James Cameron’s Avatar) 

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: Just fluff, some lowkey spice. No minors, get outta here! Reader is insecure and self-conscious, Neteyam puts a stop to that rather quickly. 

Words: 3.7k

Author’s Notes: 

Neteyam is 19, reader is 18 but only a few months older than Kiri. Lo’ak and Kiri are roughly 17, moving on to 18. Lil Tuk girl queen is the same age as the movie because I will protect her childhood. How old even is she? 8? Maybe im a fake fan. 

Please note that the reader utilises she/her pronouns. If you’d prefer male or gender-neutral pronouns in fic I’m more than happy to repost a male or gn version of the story, otherwise include any pronoun preferences in the request box!

Read below the cut:

High Camp provided so much warmth, love and safety for its people. You were not old enough to remember Hometree or the destruction of it. But you could not imagine living anywhere else but in the densely protected cave systems of the Hallelujah Mountains. 

Everyone knows everyone, all the kids play together, live together, laugh together. The community that Olo'eyktan Jake Sully, and his mate, Neytiri had fostered here was against all odds. 

Your mother was one of the most talented hunters in the clan, this love of hunting easily transferred to warmongering, alongside the leadership (or maybe the leashing of your mother’s bloodlust) from Neytiri and Toruk Macto. Neytiri and your mother grew up together, so closely. Neytiri never forgets her friends and knows every name and face of the clan. You couldn’t help but admire her for this. Your father, on the other hand, was an irreplaceable healer and herbalist. He worked alongside T’sahik Mo’at, training younger Na’vi who showed promise in interpreting the ways of Eywa’s medicinal signs. With your family’s connection to the Sully’s, it was impossible to avoid them, even if you wanted to. 

You grew up with the Sully kids, being a year younger than Neteyam, their eldest, and only a few months older than Kiri and Lo’ak, the four of you would always be playing. Running through the majestic forests of Pandora, swimming through creeks, lakes and rivers, kissing the dirt as you rolled down hills into meadows of wildflowers. The older you got the closer you got to Kiri. The sister you’ll never have. 

You loved your parents, you did, but they made it clear that one child was enough for them. Your father loved the Sully’s as you did, he thought with his entire heart that Jake was the best for the clan. He was Toruk Macto, after all. Your mother, however, made things harder. She loved Neytiri like a sister, and always wished for her happiness. 

“I remember when Jake was like a baby, you know.” She would say at mealtimes, your father would have a small smile. You could do nothing but roll her eyes. “He was trouble maker, still is.” She was grumpy. You knew that she trusted Jake and saw him as a good Olo’eyktan, but the disdain grew from your friendship with his kids. 

“His boys are the same, no different.” She would always say the same thing, with the same pointed look. 

You and Kiri had just finished your rituals of womanhood the week prior. For the both of you finding a mate was expected. For Kiri, nothing was ever expected in terms of mateship. In fact it was almost the opposite.

“You never have to do something you don’t wanna do, Babygirl” Jake said, smoothing down Kiri’s wild hair. The two of you sat in the middle of the floor in the Sully’s tented home. Braiding beads into your songchords to commemorate the recent transition from child to adult. 

“What about you, (y/n)?” Neytiri asked, watching the two young girls weave their cords, reminiscing on her own bead.  

You sighed, knowing your parents had been pushing the topic for a while:

“What about Tsu-wey? Or, Marek or Teyk’ah?” Your mother said, rattling off the names of warrior boys, flinging her arms around, exasperated. You shook your head, you weren’t really interested in anyone. 

Your father, always taking the approachable, personal angle, sat next to you, tucking your shoulders under his arm. 

“What about Aäna? She’s a lovely girl-” 

“Dad!” You shot up, crossing your arms over your chest, the blood rushing to your cheeks. “It’s not that Dad, I just don’t like anyone like that yet really.” 

“You’ve got to work it out, (y/n),” Your mother said harshly, “Soon.” 

“Uh no, no I haven’t really got anyone in mind.” You replied quietly. 

“Ugh come on, lets scram.” Kiri said grabbing your wrist and practically marching you out of her family home. 

“Ughh Kiri, I only just finished my chord-oof” Your complaints were quickly cut off as Kiri stobbed abruptly, your whole body coming in contact with her back. “You skxwang! What are you doing-” 

“Brother.” Kiri chirps, cutting you off. Neteyam stood in the doorway, leaning against the timber frame, smirking. His braids fell around his face, his high cheekbones and delicate features seemed to play with the soft golden lighting of High Camp, his tail flicked subtly from side to side, amused. 

“Sister, (y/n),” Neteyam replied, sounding almost bored. “Where are you two running off to?” his fingers fiddled with his waistband, running down to his songchord. You knew you were staring, tracking the motion of his large hands, rubbing each bead, shell, and stone in between his thumb and pointer finger. It was embarrassing, you couldn’t look away, and why should you? There was nothing inappropriate about the action. Just his large, capable hands and skilled fingers…

Oh Eywa, that is enough. 

“None of your business, big brother,” Kiri said, teasing as she often did. You swore she only knew how to convey her thoughts through sarcasm and hints. 

Neteyam chuckled, his fingers resting on his crossed arms once, more. Your plain eyes found his warm, deep ones, as he said:

“I think it’s my business where my girls run off to, no?” You knew he did not mean it the way your stupid little brain heard it, you know he meant it as a brother. Nothing more, nothing less. But god, you wished you were his girl. You always had, since you were twelve. All of a sudden, you woke up one day and Neteyam was cute. Cute turned into cool, cool gave way into hot, and hot turned into so incredibly sexy as you got older. And you stayed, well awkward and plain and not much to behold. 

But, you could pretend, that was something you were good at. Rolling your eyes, you broke the contact with Neteyam, shoving Kiri with your shoulder and righting the way of the world, again. 

“The meadow.” You said flatly. 

Kiri wasn’t as much of an airhead as you seemed to think she was. She knew her best friend, and she knew her big brother. Neteyam was a loser, a goody-goody with a desperate need to be the perfect son, the perfect soldier. Around you, he became this swaggering popular guy that Kiri knew him not to be, really. Maybe around his stupid Ikran Rider friends. But never around Kiri, or Lo’ak or Tuk. He never bought that facade into their home, save for when you were in it. 

You, on the other hand, Kiri knew you like the back of her hand. You were shy, sweet and just so obviously and painfully in love with Neteyam. She watched you watch him, and him in turn trying to memorise every freckle, scar and nick on your body. 

Neteyam cleared his throat, embarrassed that Kiri had caught him, once again, stealing glances at her best friend. 

“Just be home for dinner, before eclipse, yeah?” He questioned, the muscle upon his brow bone tilting slightly upward. 

“Of course!” Kiri yelled out as the two of you ran off, hand-in-hand, giggling as you did so. Neteyam watched your retreating figures flee High Camp. Pulling his attention towards his own songchord, his most recent bead was longer than the others, a hollowed-out green gemstone, mottled with white and silver patterning. The one he chose for himself the year prior at his own ceremony, welcoming him into manhood. Neteyam smiled to himself, remembering the bead you had obviously chosen for your own ceremony, made from the same little green stone. 

Neteyam didn’t know how much longer he could go on going like this. He felt like he was walking in circles, orbiting you, waiting for his gamut to eventually crash him into you. Sighing he opened the flap to his tented family home. Maybe it was time to ask Toruk Macto for advice. 

The long grass of the meadow was a deep shade of green, almost the colour of seagrass. Its long strands waved in the breeze, tickling your face as you lay on your back, watching the clouds, birds and everything that called the clearing it’s home. You felt connected to the place, like you were in the lungs of the world, simply floating in the breath of Eywa. 

Kiri sat at your feet in the long grass, facing you, but with her knees drawn close to her chest, playing with the end of her face-framing braids. She was thinking hard, hyperfocused on a thought that was so deep-rooted it took you multiple attempts to get her attention. 

“What’s wrong my Kiri?” You asked, finally catching her eye-line, sitting up to mirror her position. 

“Nothing is wrong, why would anything be wrong?” Kiri responded, trying to act nonchalant. 

“Do not bullshit me, you penis face.” You say, pulling a smile out of her distracted figure while nudging her leg with your foot. 

“You would be my sister if you mated Neteyam, you know that right?” She asked, like she didn’t say the craziest fucking sentence you’ve ever heard in the world. 

All the air left your lungs at once, she may as well have punched you in the stomach. You were going to retch. 

“What are you talking about!” You felt the blood rush to your face, fanning itself over your nose, cheeks, ears and shoulders. Your whole chest felt like Kiri had taken a flare to it. You couldn’t bear it, you felt hot all over. You covered your face with your shaking hands. 

Oh, mother Eywa I will die here, I will die here of embarrassment and pass through to you.

“Don’t be stupid, I know you loooooove him,” She said stretching out her o’s as she so often did when teasing, she poked you a few times too, for good measure. “He obviously is pining for you too, you skxwang.” 

Kiri was a tease, she was sarcastic and blunt and hilarious. But she was not mean. Which, is why you couldn’t work out why she was being mean to you now. About something so personal, too. You felt the hot tears start to form. 

“Why are you being mean?” You asked softly, pulling your hands away from your eyes, to try and read her face. 

Kiri was taken aback by how upset you were. She did not mean it to be mean, she was serious. She quickly took you in her arms, all jokes aside. 

“Ma (y/n) why are you crying?” Kiri asked softly. You sniffled, letting the tears fall freely now. 

“You know I love Neteyam, why would you tease me like that knowing it is like stones in my heart.” You began to ramble, as you so often did when you were emotional. “Neteyam sees me as his little sister, nothing more, nothing less.” You said seriously, vehemently. Lip quivering, you felt stupid and pathetic crying about it. But now that ball of thoughts had started to be unwound in your mind you could not stop, all the words you could not say since you were twelve just fell out of your little mouth. “And besides, if Neteyam didn’t see me as just a little annoying sister, I am ugly Kiri.” Kiri started to shush you, but you did not listen.

 “I am not unique in features like you, I am not as elegant as your mother, I’m not as alluring as Aäna, or as talented as Lor’ät. I’m so fucking boring.” Your tears fell so freely down your face and neck, you felt them fall behind the straps of your breast cover. You hated it. You hated everything about you and you would never be enough for Neteyam. 

You would never be enough for anyone, really. When you thought critically about it. 

Kiri held you close as you sobbed like her mother would, smoothing down your hair like her father would. She was beyond confused about how you could ever think this about yourself. Knowing fair well what a lot of the hunter boys Lo’ak was friends with say about you, what Neteyam’s Riders say in confidence, what the healer girls under Mo’at whisper about during Kiri’s training. Usually it makes her want to gag. But in this moment she wished she told you earlier. Maybe it would’ve given you more self-confidence in a perverse roundabout way. You were so wanted. If it wasn’t for Neteyam’s possessive nature of you, you could have anyone you wanted. Kiri reasoned, that if Neteyam wasn’t going to let anyone else have you, but not move on you himself, Kiri would have to set it up.

You and Kiri came back to High Camp, just before dinner and just after you finally stopped crying. You asked Kiri to never talk about the whole thing, preferring to just shove the whole thing into a little lockbox, throwing it away into the undercurrent of your consciousness. 

You stopped dead in your tracks infront of Kiri’s home, hearing Jake’s laugh and Tuk’s squeals. Neteyam was in there. No, you couldnt it was way to fresh. To have dinner with them would be the last petal in your funerary basket. 

“Come, lets eat.” Kiri whined, pulling on your arm. You stood firm like an island of stone against the tide. 

“I think I will eat with my parents tonight, I’m sorry.” You said in a low voice. “I’ll be back to normal tomorrow I promise.” You quickly added, to appease your headstrong sister. 

“Okay.” Kiri said softly, taking both of your hands into her five-fingered ones. “It’s all going to sort itself out, (y/n). I promise.” 

The usually short walk across High Camp to your family home felt unusually long, cold and dark.

Kiri flopped down on the woven mats around the firepit with a huff. Next to Jake and Neteyam, Kiri was hungry and angry and sad for her friend. 

“Hey , Babygirl.” Jake said, kissing Kiri on her forehead. Jake looked toward the door, confused. “Where’s my other beautiful girl?” Jake asked, confused. (y/n) always joined them for dinner, he couldn’t remember a night her presence had been missed since she was born. 

Kiri sighed, big and deep. “She’s having dinner with her parents.” 

“What has happened?” Neytiri asked, serving dinner on a leaf for little Tuk. 

Kiri felt internally conflicted. It was not her business to share, not her secrets to lay bare. But her best friend was hurting, and the skxwang next to her was the only one who could fix it. But (y/n) never begs for anything, and she begged Kiri the whole walk home to say nothing. 

She could not say nothing, but she did not have to say anything, either. 

“(y/n) was sad, about finding a mate. Her parents are really hard on her about it.” Kiri was not one to lie, and this was not a lie she convinced herself. But not the whole truth either. 

“Bro, that’s so stupid. Literally everyone is asking her mom for courting meetings.” Lo’ak piped up. His sentence muffled due to his full fucking face of food. Kiri screwed her face up.

“Courting meetings? What do you mean?” Neteyam looked panicked. The face he usually reserved for Lo’ak’s antics on the field. 

“I don’t know man, some of the guys were talking about it today during lessons. But her Dad keeps turning them away for now.” Lo’ak answered, shrugging nonchalantly, stuffing his face still, despite the family’s disgust. 

Kiri stared at Neteyam, reading every inch of his face as he calmed down. He was running out of time, she knew it. But, Neteyam looked at Jake. Jake raised his eyebrows at his eldest son, turning his head slightly and shrugging. It was a shared look, Neteyam knew exactly what Jake meant, though Kiri felt left in the lurch. 

The Sully’s did not talk about it for the rest of dinner, thankfully. 

Neytiri was putting Tuk to bed. Jake, in a rare moment was teaching Lo’ak how to properly clean a gun. Kiri sat, next to Neteyam, running her hands up and down her own songchord, anxiously. Neteyam was evidently anxious too, his legs pulled up close to his chest, he stared at the fire pit as if the answers were going to lash out and brand him. 

“She is in love with you, Neteyam.” Kiri said softly. Neteyam felt like he was going to pass out and bleed from his nose. 

“I don’t think so baby sister,” Neteyam ruffled her hair, trying to present himself in a lighthearted way, despite his creeping blush. Kiri smacked his hand away. 

“Listen to me, you idiot.” Kiri’s serious voice felt like a hot knife running through Neteyam’s soul. She never sounded this way, this upset. “She loves you. And, and she thinks that you only think of her as a little sister.” Neteyam chuckled at that, he never treated her the way he treated Kiri and Tuk. Surely, that was obvious, no? “I know. I laughed too.” Kiri said with a small smile. She took Neteyam’s hands into her own, like she did with you only a few hours prior.

“Neteyam, she thinks that she’s ugly, that she will never be enough for you. She thinks she’s not talented.” Kiri’s round eyes filled with empathetic tears for her best friend, thinking back on your small frame sobbing in the long grass. 

Neteyam’s blush soon turned to anger. His heart finding the possessive pit that he reserves only for his feelings for you.  “I do not understand, does she not know that everyone wants her?” Neteyam hissed in a low voice, Eywa forbid, Neytiri heard him talk about how the other boys of the clan view (y/n). Neteyam hated how they spoke of her body, her face, her mind. Her beautiful voice and nimble hands. Only he was allowed to think of you like that. And the Great Mother only knows how they think of you at night, how they think of you when they- 

Neteyam stopped himself before he went any further. He knew how he thought about you at night when he has a hand between his thighs. 

“She does not know.” Kiri said, bringing Neteyam back to the forefront of his mind. “I have never told her.” 

Neteyam’s heart swelled in a terrible way. You were so sweet, so innocent, you did not know that boys rutted into their own hands at the thought of the way your waist dips, or the mound of your breast. He needed to protect you, and Jesus, he thought he had by laying an unofficial possessive claim. But, it seems that the future Olo’eyktan has been ignored. 

A growl fell out of Neteyam’s mouth. To Kiri it looked like a dark light fell over her brother’s features. A man possessed. He stood, cracking his neck and shoulders, like he always did, but this time Kiri flinched. She had never seen Neteyam so…scary. 

“I will fix this tomorrow, sister.” Was all Neteyam said, as he retreated to the sleeping quarters of their home. 

(y/n) did not sleep a wink. All she could see in her mind’s eye was Neteyam. Neteyam laughing with other girls, Neteyam riding with other girls. How they wave to him when he walks past.

Neteyam. Neteyam. Neteyam. 

You felt so guilty, so, so guilty. As the night went on your thoughts went south, went dirty and wrong. You dreamt about kissing Neteyam; How soft his lips would feel against your own. His rough, calloused hands would hold your face in place and he would kiss you like he loved you, kissed you like he meant it. 

Simply, you did not deserve to hold romantic thoughts about Neteyam in your heart like that. He was not yours. He would never be. 

You quick hands made light work of the repair you were currently undertaking. You enjoyed your work as clan seamstress. Fixing, making loin cloths, beading breast covers and threading jewellery. You enjoyed the freedom to create things, but to also be useful to your clan. You could never offer them safety, food, medicine or freedom. But you could make sure they were warm in the cool rains, and protected from the glistening sun in the heat of the day. 

You folded the repaired loincloth, placing it to the side. Ready for its owner to pick it up when they had a moment to spare. 

The flap to the tent flew open, causing you to jump out of your skin. The last person you wanted to see stood in the entry way, ripped loincloth in hand. 

“Good morning, Neteyam.” You said softly, casting your gaze downwards. He quickly sat across from you, legs crossed like a child. 

“Well, it’s good now.” He smiled brightly. You felt all the blood run to your cheeks. “Do you uh, do you mind fixing this for me?” He said, stumbling over his own words, handing over the dark green textile. 

“Of course, easy fix.” Your fingers brushed his and you felt like your hands had been set on fire. Shaking, you began stitching the fabric back together. You knitted your brows together as you worked, not wanting to see his face any longer, the more you stared at your hands, the worse they shook. This tear made no sense, it was cleanly cut with a knife. Neteyam had purposely ripped his own loincloth. “How did this even happen?” You asked. 

“I needed an excuse to come and see you, my (y/n).” Neteyam spoke softly, reaching out to take one of your hands, distracting them from their job. His eyes caught yours, and you knew you were done. So warm, so full of life and love. 

“Neteyam-” You started, but he cut you off. Something of which Neteyam had never done before. 

“I know you do not see yourself how I see you.” He started, his stare holding you to the spot, you sent a brief prayer to Eywa, that this was not some cruel trick. “You are the most beautiful creature that has ever walked these lands. You care so deeply for the people, the forest.” His hand ran the length of your arm, goosebumps rising in his wake. “I see you. I love you. I want you.” Neteyam said vehemently. 

You felt everything, everywhere, all at once. Everything you have ever wanted to hear had fallen out of his mouth like it was always meant to be. It sounded so right. It sounded natural and real. It was so out of character for Neteyam, to be so open, so raw and honest with his feelings. 

So, under the guise of love, you acted out of character too. Like for like. 

Taking his beautiful, soft face between your small, shaking hands, you kissed him. Pulling away for breath, you remembered what needed to be said.

“I have always seen you, Neteyam.” 

[blackleatherjacketz]

Mine

Eric Northman x Female Reader

Summary: Eric shows you what it means to be his.

Warnings: 18+ Only!, Explicit Smut, Alcohol, Bachelorette Parties, Glamoring, Kissing, Hair-Pulling, Biting, Blood Sucking, Vampirism, Blood Contracts, Possessive Behavior, Body Worship, Teasing, Taunting, Orgasm Deny/Delay, Vaginal Fingering, Finger Sucking, Vaginal Sex, Nipple Play, Nipple Biting, Size Kink, Size Difference, Rough Sex, Unprotected Sex, Mirror Sex

Word Count: 2.6k+

Tags: @differentcatcat @jessicafangirl @spice-honey

Read more Eric!

You aren’t entirely sure how you ended here with him like this, but you aren’t exactly complaining, either. What started out as a raucous bachelorette party at Fangtasia turned into a deeply provocative conversation about your innermost desires with its handsome owner. He’d singled you out in front of everyone, bringing you onstage before convincing you to let him drink from you in exchange for a night of pleasure you ‘would never forget’. You’d gone home with strangers before, sure, but you’d never even met a vampire before, let alone let one bite you. But he assured you that he’d make it worth your while. And with a face like that and a voice like his, well… who could say no?

You now lay on his bed opposite a wall full of mirrors, propped on your side as he traces his fingertips up your calf, leaving a trail of goosebumps up the bend just behind your knee up into your thigh. You watch him slip two fingers beneath the hem of your underwear before pulling it taught and snapping it against your skin, forcing you to gasp.

“Are you sure you still want this, sweetheart?” He taunts with a smirk. “Last chance to go back to your drunk friend and listen to how much she hates that fiancé of hers.”

“I’m sure.” You’ve never wanted anything more in your entire life. Your long dry spell leading up to tonight left you desperate for an excuse to get out of the house, to break your mundane pattern of solitude, leading you straight to him. The way he looked at you from across the room made you feel like you were the only woman in the world, the only one for him. He was unlike anyone else you’ve ever met before; elegant and mysterious, sensual and alluring. No one you’d ever met had paid this much attention to you before, had captivated you long enough to agree to a binding physical contract you would normally reject. You’ve never been more sure of anything than you are right now.

Your breath quickens as that sting spreads into the deeper layers of your skin, that needy heat building up inside as he calmly sits down on the bed beside you, pushing the fabric of your dress up around your waist to get a better view. You watch him take his time gently grazing his palms over your hips and thighs, worshiping your body by tracing invisible designs into your skin. Your quiet moans shift that grin of his into a satisfied smile, visible only from the mirrors in front of you before he presses a few soft kisses into your shoulders. He hums an old Norse tune into your ear as he continues to caress you, making every inch of your skin tingle in anticipation as he brushes the hair away from your neck.

“Good girl,” he purrs into the sensitive spot just behind your ear, forcing your body to tense as he curls his fingers beneath your underwear again, pulling it forcefully down your hips before ripping it off. “Then you agree to be mine.”

“Yes,” you barely breathe out, his bold words making your cheeks flush a warmer hue.

He laughs to himself before swiftly sliding his fingers between your cheeks, gliding them over your folds to spread the moisture that’s collected there up and down your seam. “Because I already had someone drive them home. It’s just you and me now.”

You nod in silence, letting his electric touch send sparks up into your core as he continues kissing your neck, glancing up every now and again to watch your reaction as he slowly pushes his chilly fingers inside your entrance.

“Eric!” You moan as they expand your slick, inner walls with practiced restraint, feeling nearly every inch of you before pulling out just far enough to push back in again, causing you to rock your hips along with his steady rhythm. You close your eyes as he delves his digits even deeper into you at just the right angle, finally finding that bundle of nerves tucked up inside you with a curl of his finger.

Sweet Jesus, he’s so good at that.

His frigid pace grows faster, your internal heat warming him up as he starts to nip desperately at the nape of your neck. The muscles in your abdomen can’t help but tighten as the sound of his fingers inside you echoes against the walls, nearly drowning out the sound of his shallow breathing and your needy moans.

“Yes?” He pulls his fingers out of you slowly, leaving a clear coat of your arousal over your ass and hips as he brings them up to your mouth before pressing them against your lips.

Instead of answering him, you take the hint and open your mouth to suck on his fingers, savoring your own tangy flavor as he pushes them past your tongue, practically gagging you in the process. You control your breathing and run your tongue in between them, being sure to look at him in the mirror as you siphon off every last bit of your juices, your spit now pooling at the corner of your mouth, dripping down onto the mattress.

“See how good you taste?” He praises with darkened eyes, a pleased smirk gracing his features just before he pushes you onto your back. “And that’s just your pussy.”

He kisses your mouth before you have a chance to react, tasting the remainder of your essence on your lips and tongue as he breathes you in, letting your scent mix in with the way you taste as he greedily explores your mouth. He has a flavor of copper and iron with a salty aftertaste as he settles on top of you, slowly shedding that cold hard exterior he presented you with onstage. He lets out a series of breathy moans in between each desperate kiss, licking and sucking your lips into his mouth as if they tasted of milk and honey. Groaning as your hands instinctively find their way up onto his chest, he allows them to move across the thin fabric of his tank top and down to his waist as he grinds his hips against your nearly naked body.

He twists the fabric of your dress in his hands and rips it right off, grinning like a schoolboy as he takes in the sight of your naked breasts devoid of any undergarment before hungrily pressing his mouth against them. He nips at your chest and clavicle, teasing the imminent threat of his painful bite at any time as your chest heaves with desire, perking your nipples right into his mouth. He sucks on each of them, lingering on one a little longer than the other, pulling it into his mouth and twisting that sensitive tissue in between his teeth. That mixture of pain and pleasure forces your back to arch and your eyes to roll back into your head, triggering that fire deep within you. It melts its way down to your core, sizzling through every nerve on its way down as he places his palm between your shoulder blades to keep you near.

“Ooh, so that’s the spot, huh?” He looks up at you with lust blown eyes, his pupils nearly taking up all the space within them as he licks a slow, tantalizing circle around it.

“Uh-huh,” you whine with a nod, looking down at him hopefully as you run your fingers through his hair.

He grins just in time to reveal his fangs, biting into the fatty tissue just above your nipple with a sharp twinge of pain, forcing you to inhale quickly. Your mouth falls open as you watch your own blood fill his mouth, staining his lips a dark crimson as he closes his eyes, allowing himself to get lost deep within you. He moans against your skin as he sucks on your nipple even harder, swallowing his first gulp as it floods his taste buds with the sweet fruity flavor of the wine you’ve been sipping on all night.

You tug on his hair as he bites down even harder, threatening to gnaw your nipple right off as the pain from his teeth blends with the pleasure of his tongue, forcing you to wrap your legs around his hips in order to get some sort of friction between them. That delicious, tingling sensation starts to burn brighter, faster within you as it spreads like wildfire throughout the rest of your body. You can feel his erection growing beneath his jeans as he grinds his hips between your thighs. Each drink he takes from you engorges it with more of your blood, stoking that internal flame as it presses harder between them, begging to be released. You pull him in even closer as he nearly sends you over the edge, that wildfire on the brink of igniting into a raging inferno before he pulls his fangs out of you and halts the movement of his hips.

“Eric,” you’re breathlessly disappointed as he pulls his mouth off of you, a sly look crossing his ruby red lips.

“Eric, what?” He repeats mockingly, licking the excess blood off the middle of your chest, purposefully avoiding your nipple as it drips from his lips and chin.

“But I was about to…” You run your hand through his hair as he cleans you up, licking your skin like a cat with its milk.

“About to what?” He grabs onto your wrist and pulls it away from his hair, holding it next to his mouth as he looks up at you with a stern glare. “About to come? Just from that?”

You nod as that dreaded feeling of shame washes over you, forcing you to look away from him. You can’t quite explain it, but something about his touch alone is more arousing than actual sex with half the people you’ve been with before. Now you feel stupid for saying anything at all.

“You think I should let you?” He keeps his eyes on you with a chuckle, kissing the inside of your wrist before placing it back into his hair. “You sound awfully ungrateful.”

You sigh in defeat as he denies your pleasure, that cruel nature of his floating back up to the surface as he pulls away from you, leaning back and standing up at the edge of the bed.

“Look at yourself,” he instructs, nodding over to the mirror that you’d nearly forgotten was there. “How many of your other lovers have done this for you? Drank your blood, tasted every inch of you from the inside out?”

“None of them.” You turn your head and look at your own reflection, streaks of your blood still glistening in the dim lamplight of the room as they branch out from where he’s bitten you. The evidence is clear that you’re already on your way to becoming his. The spots where he attempted to clean you up had smeared and already dried, cracking against your skin as you hear him unbuckle his belt.

“That’s what I thought.” He tosses his shirt off and steps out of his shoes before pulling his pants down, revealing the prize beneath as you finally look back at him, trying not to gasp.

Sweet Jesus, he’s gorgeous.

His size is even more massive than you originally guessed as you admire him for what seems like ages. Your mouth falls agape as he spreads that drop of precum up and down his shaft for your visual pleasure, the muscles in his abdomen rippling in anticipation as he makes himself even harder just by looking at you.

“Don’t worry, it’ll fit,” he reassures you as he gratuitously strokes himself with a confident grin. “I want to make sure you feel good.” He whispers, pressing his knees into the mattress.

“Yeah?” You ask, exasperated as you sit up onto your elbows to watch him get closer. You try to convince yourself that this is real and not just some sort of wild dream as you spread your legs for him until he’s bobbing in between your thighs, but your brain’s having trouble making that distinction.

“You’ll taste better that way.” He brushes your clit with the tip of his cock, rushing your body with bursts of bliss each time he passes over it until he’s good and sure you’re wet enough to take him in.

You hold your breath as he pushes inside, watching intently as he slowly stretches your viscera in an achingly hypnotic thrust upward. That internal heat stirs up again as you envelop him completely, the feeling of his pelvis more than welcome against the bottom of your thighs as he holds himself there for a second. Instead of pulling out and speeding back up again, he just stares longingly into your eyes, giving you time to adjust to his enormous girth as his stifled breath warms your face. His mouth falls open into a kiss as he pushes in even deeper, the tip of his head tapping against your cervix as you begin to shudder around him.

“Oh my god, Eric,” you moan into his mouth, feeling his thumb rub tiny little circles into your clit as he runs his other hand through your hair. You can’t believe how amazing he feels, how every neural pathway in your body is set ablaze, singed by the very fire of his touch that no other man alive was even able to spark.

“I told you it’d fit,” he whispers, tugging on your hair before pulling his hips back and violently thrusting them back inside you. He kisses your lips more aggressively this time, his tongue tasting every gasp he’s able to draw out of you with each thrust of his pelvis, his own breath faltering as he cries out your name.

You can feel his grip on your hair tighten as he drives himself inside you again and again, stretching your smooth muscle to capacity as he glides in and out of you repeatedly, tingling the breadth of your insides. Kisses quickly turn into bites as the rhythm of his hips becomes more frantic, his fangs emerging just as his thumb pushes you over the edge of ecstasy, sending you into the unknown depths of your euphoria. Your body doesn’t know how to handle it, doesn’t know how to react to such an intense sensation as he mercilessly crashes into you, his desperate pace forcing you to descend deeper into that dark, delicious state until your entire body convulses, completely overwhelmed by it. You wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him buried inside as your muscles spasm around him, a loud chorus of your moans echoing off the mirrored walls as your pleasure wreaks havoc on your body.

You barely notice when he sinks his fangs into you again, this time groaning into your throat like a wild animal as your body milks him for all he’s worth, gulping down that intoxicating serum as it oozes from your throat past his lips. His hips speed up to an inhuman rate, those groans of his shifting into feral growls as he releases his thumb from your bud just to hold your hips in place as he loses himself in the feeling of your body, in the flavor of your blood.

Red hot crimson blood drips down your neck as his white hot fluid shoots up inside you, both of them eventually spilling out despite his best efforts to consume and contain as much as he can between the both of you. He mewls against your neck as he sputters a few more times between your inner walls, still pulling tightly on your scalp as you both ride out the aftershock of your orgasm.

“You’re mine now.” He whispers into your ear, smearing your blood into your hair as he shakily kisses your neck and jawline. “No one else can have you, drink from you, or harm you in any way.” He pulls back to look at you adoringly, your blood smattered across his chin like war paint before he bites down on his own wrist to carefully seal your wound. “If they do, they’ll have to answer to me.”

[kentocalls]

nanami kento | tummyaches singleparents!au, sfw. discussion of grief/mention of loss. reader is referred to as momma/tiny momma (in comparison to the sky)

"nobara, honey pleaseeeee" you sit on the ground as your daughter dramatically flops away from your spoon. she's facing the wall now and still making snow angels with her tiny arms, blankets wrinkling in protest. she's too stinking cute, a smile is on your lips and you try again. "this is really yummy magic soup, it'll help you feel better." you make noises that get her to slowly turn and peak at you, crawling closer she looks at the bowl, you bring it up mixing the liquid so the spices make a tiny galaxy. "it's not red." what?

"it's…the soup you like honey, the butternut squash one. the yellow one.” "his papa gave him magical red soup." huh? “whose papa?” “yuji.” she starts to cocoon herself in blankets. “it has to be red. like tomatoes.” "you don't like tomatoes. no red, remember? honey?” she is silent for many minutes, you prompt,”nobara…no icky red right?” "need it momma. tomato soup." her voice cracks towards the end, she emerges from her blanket burrito with fresh hot tears streaming down her face. you put the bowl aside to cradle her. she's still warm, you eye the clock. too early to take her temperature and still no food in her little belly. you don't know what to do. this isn't something reading books or watching movies can prepare you for. nobara falls asleep in your arms, you kiss her tiny forehead and settle her back into bed as gently as possible. she’s full of medicine, water and mucus. you hate it so so so much. your bright buzzing brilliant child is sniffling and meak due to a tummy ache and fever. back to the kitchen and what can be used to conjure up a red-tomato-like soup? you can't remember the last time you bought tomatoes. nobara hates everything round and red. which means all tomato, the big ones, little ones, green ones because they become red, all of them. as long as you've known her, which is her whole life, she's disliked them. you look at the photo of you and your best friend, with a tiny two day old nobara tucked into your arms. its crazy how much of your friend you see in the tiny girl. you stare at the ceiling, "i know you're watching me so can you use your angel powers to help me make tomato soup without tomatoes please?"

♡

"so she's missing another day?" you try not to curse at the most judgmental school administration staff you've ever dealt with. no books to prepare you for that either. "yes, she is still feverish and unwell." more judgey things, a mention of not letting her be out like yuji and an abrupt end to the conversation. yuji. the kid in nobara's class, the one she deems her rival. you haven't had a chance to meet the kid, another thing you try not to feel guilt over. your best friend would've known all her friends and classates. would’ve made the best mother, instead nobara has you, her fumbling godparent that can't get her fever to break. you keep her hydrated, help her change and turn on her favorite ninja show. she's lying on top of you, cheek plastered into your shoulder. you're sure she's drooling but she's finally comfortable, took her medicine, ate the not red soup. no tummyache. small win. "it's going to be me." she says in a sleepy haze. "i fight everyone." "yes honey, you're the strongest and bravest." you don't remember this character. they must've added a new ninja. "yuji jumps higher than me tho. that's ok." she sits up, eyes super serious, "i'm going to beat him." "you're going to jump so high." moving some bangs from her face, she doesn't feel too warm, you have three more minutes before needing to check her temperature again. "to the moon!" oh gosh, her little voice is stuffy but she has energy again, you've missed her bouncing around your tiny apartment. it didn't feel ready for a child but it’s the perfect size to keep an eye on her at all times, to have her sweet voice echoing off all the walls. "to the moon!" she continues to roar. you grab the napkin and help her blow her nose into it. "to sky momma!" her head rests back onto your chest, her slow breathing as she giggles at the tv. you try not to let the tears that well up fall from your eyes. god, you miss her momma too. nobara would feel double the love, been so much more spoiled. but this is healthy, as the thearpist said. that nobara acknowledge the loss in tiny ways. that you encourage her remembering. she knew enough to miss her mother, doesn’t need to fully understand why she was gone. now she understands her ‘sky momma' is an angel and away. that all the blue in the sky is her much her momma loves her, that all the stars are gifts she has waiting for her. that she’s always there, giving her the biggest hug. and that you are her ‘tiny momma,’ you don’t fill the sky because you need to stay small and near her. you are human sized and sky momma is, well, the sky. everywhere. you felt so guilty when she called you that, tiny momma or momma. it should've been you in the car. you should've gone out during the snowstorm. you should've held onto her like you did baby nobara. you should’ve went out to get the milk and medicine. if only you had— "momma, tiny momma? "yes honeybunny?" "i'm not a bunny silly." her giggles make a tear slip. "are you sad?” you shake your head, plaster the best smile you can, she leans in and whispers “tell sky momma. she will fix it. she’s angel. she has powers.” “is that what you do?” nobara nods and her face is back on the ninja tv show. you look up, lost in thought. you may not have angel powers, but you’re going to give your absolute best to her precious babygirl. your precious babygirl.

♡

the doorbell to your apartment rings early next evening. nobara is busy coloring and singing along to a theme song. you stop putting away groceries and whip around to the entrance, there’s no body in the peephole. nobara is good but she hasn’t been near your phone to order magic food delivery. you live in a mostly safe apartment, still opt to wait a few minutes before you hear the doorbell ring again but there is no BODY there. a ghost? a malfunction? ugh. the landlord is never going to get this fixed and you’ll be pressed if nobara doesn’t get her rest, the girl is finally well enough to go to school. when you open the door your legs are met with a brute force. you look down and see pink hair on a small form. “oh, hello nobara’s momma.” a toothy grin from a child you’ve never seen before. you stand utterly confused, there’s no guardian in the hallway either. “hello?” he hands you a folder but half the content slips out. he looks very shy, doesn’t say more than, “oops…sorry.” big eyes trying to peep around your legs and into the apartment. you bend down to his eye level and help gather the papers. “it’s okay, i drop things too.” your eye catches a headline and notice a paper for mr. geto’s class, “did you bring these for nobara?” your voice is sweet, it’s easy to be nice to this little pink haired child. his eyes go big before he blushes as nods, “nanamin said i could!” he jumps, suddenly made aware that he’s standing at your door alone. he looks left, looks right, looks up and down, does a whole spin around and focuses back on you, his eyes wide and he’s starting to get teary eyed. “i lost nanamin!” “that’s…that’s okay sweetie we can find him.” but there’s no one in the hallway. “do you want to come inside? we can call his number.” you know for a fact mr. geto has drilled it into his class to learn their guardian’s phone numbers. its how nobara understands how to unlock your phone. that and you should change your passcode from her birthday to something more secretive— “yuji! that’s my momma!” nobara clings to your arm, frowning at the boy who is near shaking. you would reprimand nobara but she has a coughing fit and now you’re letting her invade your personal space, her tiny hand clinging to your arm, smushing her face into your neck. she’s warm again. you put a hand on her back and rub gently, the coughs are still bad. the pediatrician said it would be better by now. yuji stares and looks so close to crying. his lip is wobbly. and your lips frowns, you hate hate hate seeing little kids cry. you pat his head, and he instantly melts into your touch. “i want papa!” he wails. and two just feed off of each other. it’s a round of dramatic gasps and sobs. you are not meant for this. your arms can barely handle getting an entire crate of water up the apartment stairs and you have two tiny humans digging their hands and knees and bodies against you for comfort and warmth. you don’t squat enough to lift them off the ground. so you sit, half inside your apartment door with two highly emotional and dramatic children. you must stay calm, you must stay calm. you are the adult. you are the blueprint. you can teach them how to regulate their emotions. you breathe slowly and deeply. “you know what? let’s eat some pizza bites. so when nanamin comes he can eat with us.” yuji perks up at that. “nanamin likes pizza!” you give him a smile. nobara is still coughing, saying she feels icky. yuji says he will tell nanamin to bring red soup and explains how his papa added magic to make it taste delicious. he’s animated, lively. takes a proper seat at the tiny dinning table after asking to wash his hands. he notices the lack of plates on the table .

“can i help you set the table? i can carry plates! but not forks or knives.” he has such nice manners. this nanamin is absolutely a wonderful guardian. you nod, hand him plates one by one as you set a clingy nobara on the kitchen counter. she’s being fussy but cooperating, takes her medicine like a big girl and whispers she wants nuggets instead of pizza. pizza has tomatoes afterall. you nod at her, she starts to brag about her coloring book. you let the two sit at the table and talk about her extra deluxe packet of crayons while popping in pizza bites and nuggets into the oven.

wait, are you supposed to defrost them first? yuji and nobara are talking about the color red and how awful/cool it is. yuji is adamant about tomatoes being a magical food and nobara is doing her level best to not barf. she’s on her best behavior despite her tummyache, it warms your heart. you reread the instructions for the frozen food. provide the kids with juice and start sneaking in greens, they woudln’t notice a salad if it has yellow corn in it right? you do have some green-ish tomatoes from the grocery store run, yuji likes tomatoes, maybe you can get nobara to eat some green things if yuji is here. for a rival nobara is treating yuji like a friend, helping him with utensils and napkins. they go back to talking about the ninja cartoon and you zone out, just for a bit. carefully plating the food and grabbing not-red sauces for the kiddos when you realize it’s gone silent. panic sets in. there’s a beeping sound. it’s not the oven or your phone or your watch or the smoke alarm. it’s not in your head either, right? you place the pizza bites and nuggets onto the kids plate, warn them to not touch as they’re too hot and, god the beeping is still there. you look around in confusion. “momma yuji is beeping.” you turn to nobara in confusion. “what?” she points at yuji, “he is beeping.” yuji is shocked himself. starts to pat at his clothing when you notice the tiny watch he’s wearing is lighting up. you hear a man yelling in the hallway. you grab a red crayon out of surprise, the voice sounds scary. you smile and ask the kids to stay seated. you peak into the hallway to notice an absolute unit of a man walking towards your door. he looks so menacing. muscles tight, jawline constricted, fists clenched, eyes cold. he looks like a business executive ready to throw a office chair threw a window. corporate villian scares you, frozen to the spot. crayon ready, you’re not letting this guy hurt anyone. yuji is yelling, “NANAMIN!” and tries to rush past you, trips before he can reach your legs, and thank sky angel for gifting you with insane ‘parental’ reflexes, you stop his fall by grabbing his hoodie. “you’re okay buddy, i got you.” yuji smiles bright, points at the tall man, “my nanamin, hi papa!” he— what? his…his nanamin is the jacked corporate villain ? “yuji, kiddo. you can’t run off like that.” his voice is as deep as you expected, but gentle. yuji is talking a mile a minute and his nanamin somehow understands all of it. eyes fall to you and nobara who clings to your leg. “i’m really sorry about this. i didn’t mean to scare you. i thought yuji was—“ you smile. “i would’ve done the same. you’re mr. nanamin then?”

yuji answers for him, “he’s papamin! papa nanamin. he’s super strong.” “my momma can break a window! she’s super strong too.” nobara steps in front of you, bragging about how you can hold anything heavy. her and yuji have a ridiculous ‘nu uh’ momwnr before a coughing fit hits nobara, instantly you’re crouching down and rubbing her back.

“okay, okay baby. let’s eat and get ready for bed soon yeah? yuji,”— wait you should address his papa, “umm, i made food for yuji too if…if that’s okay. he was all shaky and crying when he thought he lost you…i..i didn’t kidnap him, promise.” nanamin is watching you, yuji insisting he will eat the salad too with pleading eyes, plus he really wants to show papamin something. the tall corporate not villian nods. it ends up with the large man comically seated at a tiny dinning table and two little children forcing him to pick which deluxe crayon is the best color. you hand nanamin a plate and it feels nice. easy. it’s enjoyable to see another adult interact with their child the way you do with nobara.

maybe you can do the parent thing afterall. kento nanami, you learn, is a gentleman and offers to do dishes while you finish putting away your forgotten grocery. the theme song of the ninja show is blaring through your tv and you hear a, “papa! they’re going to catch the bad guy!” and you know better than to stop yuji from seeing this magical moment, it’s all anyone is going to talk about at lunch tomorrow. “our sofa is big enough, you can stay until the end of the epsiode, i don’t mind.” he gives you a curt nod and oh, he’s really handsome. you wonder if this is the volunteer all the moms talk about in the PTA newsletter. “thank you.” you do not check him out as he walks over to the sofa, opting to sit on the ground as nobara and yuji are standing on the sofa, jumping excitedly. nanami does not have nice legs and butt. he absolutely never misses leg day. “momma they’re not going to catch him!” nobara shouts, convinced you have magical powers and can bend this cartoon plot to your will. “papa, you have to help them!” yuji adds on. you watch with a full heart how nanami speaks softly to nobara and yuji, asks them to help him summon his magic powers and has them in full giggle fits when he does help the ninja cartoon hero’s catch the bad guys. the kiddos are roaming around the living room singing the ending song while nanami looks over the folder of homework yuji brought. “this is a months worth of ice cream. ah, gotta come up with a better bribe.” you sigh, immediately moving to action when both nobara and yuji attempt to fly off your dining room table. yuji thanks you for food and surprises you by adding an apology for getting nobara sick and you do not accept that. “germs happen yuji, we can’t always control them. but i know you did your best to not get anyone sick.” nanami chimes in, “yeah buddy, you washed your hands, sneezed into a tissue, even ate your veggies. it’s not your fault.” he looks so happy and gives you a hug before nobara pushes him off, clingy and territorial. you give nanami a small smile and lock his smile back away deep in your heart. you absolutely do not blush when you hear “great job!” from the other side of the door. “oh no! tiny momma, your face is red!” “oh no, i think i need ice cream!” as you get nobara ready for bed and look over the folder with her missed homework. mr. geto is such a serious teacher and part of you appreciates it. part of you loathes having to figure out how to bribe nobara to sit still enough to focus through all these sheets. there is a tiny post it that says, legoland makes for a very good homework bribe — n, with his number on it. your heart does not skip a beat.

♡

[tojisun]

I’m in such a soap mood rn and that hockey!soap ask just near ruined meeeee!! What if he is dating a more alternative girl and he goes out of his way to find his tooth on the ice, making sure his team know that it’s not weird and he is not being over dramatic cuz its actually a very big deal. The next time his team sees her is at their engagement party and when they ask to see the ring she shows off a real pretty gold band with a pointy tooth replacing a stone.

this is so fucking peak im shaking like an old dog

part of this rambling teehee; f!reader // sugar, spice, everything on ice (hockey au mlist)

“wan’ ma’ fuh-kuh’ tooh’,” johnny grumbles, throbbing mouth muffled by the towel he’s using to stop the bleeding, before turning to kyle who blinks at him.

the game hasn’t resumed yet which is honestly a drag at this point, johnny thinks, because there’s only nine seconds left and sure miracles can happen within that time—some teams seem to have abundance of those—but does johnny even care anymore? no.

he’s angry and tired and in pain, and all they gave him was a white ass face towel and pinched smiles, before handing his team a four-minute penalty too. what the hell?

he would’ve complained if it wasn’t for the burning feeling in his face, thrumming from the base of his jaw to the tender press inside his cheek where the tooth was ripped out of his gums. he’s glad he was able to throw a punch in retaliation, that and the fundamental silver lining—

his loose tooth is out there.

johnny needs it.

“you… want your tooth?” kyle asks, looking at him like he’s the oddest creature in the rink. “why—”

the face-off begins, kyle and johnny turn, watching the puck fall, lumbers smacking against each other in the final grapple and skates slashing the ice, taking speed and taking force only—

the horn blows, marking the end of the game.

“fuh’ yeah!” johnny screams, banging on the glass protector, before he curls in the open arms of his teammates, laughing, bloodied gum forgotten.

they’re kicked out of the penalty box, finally—“it’s been twenty seconds, ‘tavish.”—and johnny gargles something unintelligible to price who skated towards them for a celebratory hug because there’s something johnny needs and he needs it now before the ice girls come in to swipe the rink.

he whirls past teammates trying to pull him in, waving his glove in lieu of a response because he can’t dignify them a proper one, not with the way his eyes are trained on the ice like this is his first time skating again, hesitant and eyes all-seeing.

he skates at the scene of tragedy, nose scrunching at the faint blood but otherwise empty patch of ice. god. where the hell did that go?

johnny almost gives up, almost decides to just knock out another tooth, probably the molar this time, when his eyes finally snag something that looks like it doesn’t belong on the ice. it’s tucked there in the corner of the rink, unassuming and still pink with blood.

“oh, y’r tooth,” simon grunts beside him.

“ye’,” is what johnny manages. “‘m taki’ it home.”

“…sure, whatever,” his friend says like he hasn’t done anything weirder. remember montreal 2019? yeah.

johnny skates towards the little thing, plucking it off the ice and holding it tight within his palm. he turns, blinking in surprise at seeing both kyle and john there beside simon now. the other guys are still parading, celebrating their victory with the audience, so johnny doesn’t know why his closest circle are here.

“what.”

“y’know you don’t need that for the implant, right?” john asks slowly like johnny’s some spooked thing.

“uh-huh,” is all johnny says, not understanding what price is insinuating now that the adrenaline’s wearing off, and the sharp stinging pain in his gums thrums harder from within. “leh’ go. wan’ medi-hin.”

kyle huffs, shaking his head fondly, before leading the pack out of the ice after a last lap for the audience. johnny keeps up with them, bright in his own happiness, pain be damned, because their fans deserve to see the fruits of their unwavering support.

besides, he knows someone’s out there, cheering for him louder than anyone else is.

.

“ah, there it is!” johnny cheers as he rummages through his locker, grinning when he meets the curious eyes of his teammates to show off his prized possession.

“your tooth?” enzo asks, face scrunched in his slight disgust. “don’t you wanna, you know, chuck it out?”

kyle murmurs something to reyes, something distinctly like, “just leave him be, mate,” but johnny bulldozes through, excited, and replies, “hmm? nae. i’m givin’ it to my girl.”

johnny doesn’t even notice the sudden silence in the room until the awkward petering laughter of gus.

“he smashed his head harder than we thought, no? probably needs more than a dentist.”

johnny rolls his eyes with a huff and flips him off, but he stops when he noticed the genuine concern in kyle’s face, the poor lad looking at him like he truly believes gus’ words and that he’s a second away from dialling for the standby medical team for johnny.

“what,” he bites out, shoulders hunching because why are they looking at him like that?

“it’s your loose tooth, johnny,” kyle answers, bug-eyed like there’s something obvious that johnny isn’t getting.

“i know.” it’s johnny’s turn to be confused. “‘s why i’m giving it to ‘er.”

“oh for fuck’s sakes— johnny, fill us in: why are you giving your girl your tooth?” price finally pipes in, looking more tired than he was on ice.

oh! johnny thought, his mind finally catching up to the situation. he breaks out into a smile, giddiness going rampant in his chest again, his stomach swooping at the thought of it—

“i’m proposin’ to her.”

a beat.

“that answers fuck all!”

he doesn’t even know who screamed that anymore, jumping in his own surprise at their explosive reaction, before yelping when a leg pad—probably price’s—was flung over his way with sharp accuracy.

“riley!”

.

you and johnny invited the boys and their plus-ones to celebrate the engagement, keeping most of it as private as one could after johnny posted a picture of you crying in his account, with the caption, “she said yes!”

(“couldn’t you have posted that selfie of us with the ring instead, baby?”

“shit, m’bad, bon. s’just that ye were too cute cryin’, almost had me panicking when you wouldn’t stop heaving.”

“…right. okay. can i post a different picture then?”

“of course, bonnie.”)

(yourname

liked by jmactavish.91, specgru_newscentral, and others

yourname a lifetime with this fool <3… (read more)

jmactavish.91 your fool

yourname my fool 🩷)

the party was vibrant, formalities thrown away at the promise that not a single photo would be posted without anyone’s permission. any news sites were explicitly banned, guests screened because you and johnny had wanted to, at least, keep one celebration for the engagement closed off to the world.

you’re chatting with simon’s girlfriend, who is so shy and sweet, bug-eyed because she said she’s only ever seen you from her phone when she watches your games, when johnny returns with his mates and instantly slots himself beside you.

simon nods at you in greeting, while john and kyle repeat their congratulations, beaming at your quiet chuckles while johnny preens at them, so boyishly charming and endearing.

you can’t help but brush a kiss on his jaw, faint as to not transfer your gloss to his skin. johnny tips his head down and looks at you like you’ve hung the moon for him.

“since y’r engaged, i just gotta say,” kyle begins after sipping from his flute. “did you know ol’ johnny wanted to propose to you with the tooth he lost last season?”

johnny snorts and you two share a fond look, even as you quirk your brows up because you are so sure he told them, at least.

“lord,” john whispers, catching on.

“oh,” kyle adds, humour leaving his face, and is replaced with incredulity. you would have giggled if it weren’t for the fact his eyes are now trained on your hand as if to gauge how it looks.

simon grunts before you can show it off to them, and when you all turn to him, he just shrugs, avoidant, until his partner pokes his side with a confused tilt of her brows.

“i mean,” he begins, almost petulantly. “it’s johnny.”

he sniffs like that explains anything, and, given than you’re the person marrying johnny, it really does. you can’t help the giggles now, and you turn, smothering them on johnny’s shoulder who is busy cussing out his friend in murmurs.

“may i?” john asks, apparently tired of dancing around the topic.

“or course!” you reply, smiling, and put your arm out to show to them the pretty ring that your boy has given you with a warm promise of an eternity shared with him. if you’ll let him.

(there were so many more you wanted to tell johnny, so many more you wanted him to hear, but they all fell short. they all felt incomplete. but right there, in that moment, you knew what it was that you had to say. what it was that would let this bring his promise to life.

“yes,” you gasped out, choking on your own tears. “a hundred times yes, johnny!”

you two were trembling as he slid the ring on your finger, hearts throbbing with all the love reserved for each other.)

they crowd around your arm, leaning, their eyes bulging at seeing johnny’s tooth nestled there, in between the gold and the little diamonds surrounding it, and—

“i saw that fall off his mouth, oh my god.”

you laugh at kyle’s words, your heart so full and so fond because everything is just so beautiful.

johnny nuzzles his nose on your cheek, ignoring his lads in favour of kissing you.

[nikethestatue]

How the Mating Went

(In celebration of the impromptu Elain Archeron Week, because I can)

There were things that Elain Archeron preferred to keep a secret. Her family was nosy and everyone liked being in each other's business. Yes, it was cute at times, adorable even, but also annoying and intrusive.

The things that she kept secret varied in terms of importance. For example, she didn't like that restaurant that Rhys insisted they go to. The restaurant itself was fine, and the atmosphere was lovely, but the food...Elain couldn't stomach the food. But she pretended that she enjoyed it. That was a small thing. A bigger thing was that she knew how to winnow--but she hadn't told anyone. Not her sisters, not her friends. She wasn't sure why that was exactly. Perhaps, she wanted to keep a bit of freedom for herself. The other small thing was that she really didn't like anything with cinnamon. When she made spiced cakes in the fall, she usually omitted it, and it didn't seem like anyone noticed it. Well, maybe he noticed it. But he never said anything. He never said anything to her anymore. It hurt her. It hurt her heart not to hear from him, not to hear his voice, not to have him address her. It hurt.

That was, perhaps, her greatest secret. A secret that she kept deep inside her chest and never dared to speak of. Not even to the twins. It was simple, really. She was in love.

Elain Archeron loved a man. Well, a male. She never wanted a male, and didn't think that a day would ever come when she'd desire one. She didn't want a mate or a male. But this one--he was the one she loved. And if he was her mate, she wouldn't have minded it. But he wasn't and he wouldn't be. She loved him in secret. She loved him in silence. She loved him through unshed tears, with a smile plastered on her face. She loved him into the void.

Lastly, another thing that she kept a secret, was her newly discovered obsession with nightball. It was Prythian's premiere spectator sport. Where she came from, there were sporting tournaments, and tennis, and jousting, especially among the wealthy noblemen. When she was young, she and Nesta and their parents would go to the races, watching and even betting on ponies. Once, she even won six gold coins. Her mother had said that it would go towards her dowry. Elain was seven years old.

Nightball was a simple game, played between two teams--the objective was to throw a ball into a net. it was basic enough, but magic could be used, so each team had two winnowers and two racers, who ran like the wind. There were two defenders, who could erect walls of fire and air, and two fliers, who were winged Fae.

Elain would sneak out to go to the stadium to watch the games. She lied to Feyre, telling her that she was going to help elderly Fae in the city. She didn't. Well, sometimes she did--but she also had purchased tickets for 24 season games and when her favourite team was playing--the Golden Dragons--she winnowed wherever they played and attended the games. She'd scream herself hoarse, sweat through her tunic, and have the time of her life.

Today, the game happened to be in Day Court--it was her second favourite Court, after Summer. Day was beautiful, and its citizens certainly took their games very seriously. Their stadium was magnificent, made of white limestone and with the capacity to house many thousands of occupants.

The game was nerve-wracking. The Golden Dragons were playing the second best team in the League, the Dark Knights. The score was up and down the entire game, with one of the winnowers being taken out, and both fliers being ejected from the field by the referee. Elain was stress-screaming so much, she'd lost her voice. But the Dragons won and she was blissfully happy.

Now, she was walking down the marble promenade which overlooked the sea. It was warm and couples strolled alongside her, most carrying banners and insignia of their respective teams.

"Elain, wait up."

She turned around so swiftly at the sound of his voice, she almost fell over. His hand clasped around her upper arm and he steadied her, but not before she bounced against his chest, face first.

"What are you...how do you...why? How did you...you know..." she began babbling incoherently.

"I watch you," he said simply.

"What? Why?" she exclaimed, completely flustered.

He wrapped his long strong fingers around her fist and walked next to her. An Illyrian Shadowsinger was an unusual sight here, in Day Court, and he was stared at. He didn't react.

"Why are you here?" she repeated.

"Because I can't look away."

"What...what do you mean?" she murmured.

"Just that. I can't help but watch you. And when I can't watch you, I worry about you. That you know how to winnow makes it even harder for me. So I watch you when I can. And when I can't, I am tormented by the worst thoughts."

"What thoughts?"

"That you are with another male," he admitted. "Or that you are hurt and I cannot help you."

"I don't want any males," she huffed irritably.

He smiled sadly.

"I know."

They walked in silence for a long time.

There wasn't anything to say.

But he didn't release her hand.

Once out of the promenade, they stepped out onto a plaza where food stalls sold everything from fried fish, to fruit pies, to drinks and ale.

"Buy me a sweet ice," she requested.

"Alright," he nodded, "what flavour would you like?"

Elain stopped to read the offerings--raspberry, cherry, lemon, orange, coffee, almond, pistachio.

"Cherry," she said. "What's your favourite?"

"Hmmm, I am not sure," his eyes scanned the sign. "Caramel, I think."

"You like sweet on sweet."

"When you aren't allowed even a dab of honey on your lips for the length of your childhood, sweet on sweet sounds very good," he told her.

She blushed. She shouldn't have said it. She shouldn't have said anything.

"So cherry then?" he confirmed, counting some coins in his palm.

He hadn't let go of her hand though.

"No, I changed my mind," she shook her head. "I want caramel."

"Oh, so sweet on sweet then?" he teased.

Once he paid, he handed her the sweet ice and they walked towards the sea. The sun was setting. Dusk. The sea was calm, the surf smooth and quiet, like soft brushes of paint on canvas.

Elain stopped, admiring the view. It was endless ocean and endless sky in front of her, and next to her, the only one she wanted to stand with. Endless life. Endless love.

He was quiet. As always.

She exhaled. The words fell from her lips.

"I think you are my mate'," Elain said clearly.

Then she handed him the sweet caramel ice.

Sweet on sweet.

"So eat."

He ate.

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family AU Fic Recommendations

It's been a while since I've done fic rec list. There are so many good fics out there, so I thought it was time. For this list, I will focus on my favorite Alternate Universe fics!

After Peace by @unhappy-sometimes : My current favorite AU, also named by someone else the "midwestern au" for its vibes. In this fic, Twilight is no longer the best spy of the West, but an agent forced into retirement in small town in the middle of nowhere because of a terrible injury. As you can imagine, he's quite depressed without a purpose until a little girl named Anya enters the picture.

Tactic & Strategy by Puolain: In which Twilight and Thorn Princess are forced by their agencies to get married. Twilight is undercover as Lionel Reiss, from the national guard. This fic is not only beautiful but also very exciting.

Hidden Under the Roses by @sister-cna-reader : This is a mafia AU that has plenty of fluff and plenty of spice! In this story, Yor is the Garden's heir and must marry Loid to ensure an alliance. Also, did I mention Anya is a baby in this universe?

As Time Goes By by @nightofnyx8 : In this AU, Twilight is a spy and an American pilot that crashes near Yor's garden. After nourishing him back to health, they face the terrible Captain Winston Wheeler, who won't rest until he captures that spy. This story is incredibly exciting and also sweet.

Green Eyed Monster by Bigbruja: If you like jealous Twilight, this is the fic for you! Here, an old friend of Yor's returns with the intention of taking her away from her husband, but Twilight is not going to let him do that so easily.

Air by @cantareincminor : In this AU, Twilight and Thorn Princess meet during a mission gone wrong. I can't say much without spoiling it! Just know that it's very sweet and you can feel the strong chemistry between those two! Major flirting alert hehehe.

The Cat, the Key, the Cook, and the Queen by @lpham2525 : If you like fairytales, this fic is perfect for you. In this universe, Queen Yor must marry, so she creates a clever competition to find the right man for the job!

Lo que se hace en el primer día by @gijipaw : Yes, I am aware this is in Spanish but, do you want to see Loid and Yor as boyfriend and girlfriend? Then you have to read this fic! If you speak Spanish or if you know how to use Google translate, give this short and sweet fic a try.

The Five Times Loid Forger Went Topless In Front of His Wife and the One Time She Reciprocated" or "Bare-Chested in Berlint" by Talik_Sanis: Ahem...yes, I am aware of the title and what can I say? This list needs a crack fic! This is probably the funniest fic I have ever read (the title says it all) so I encourage you to read it and have a good time. And when you get to the ice cream scene come back and tell me what you thought about it. It's my favorite scene in the whole fic hehe.

The following is not a fic per se, but an exciting, ongoing multichapter fancomic that has become a staple in the fandom and is definitely worth checking out. I'm talking about none other than...

Doppelgänger by @buf309 : Without giving too much away, in this AU there's a man who looks exactly like Twilight going on a killing rampage. Twilight will have to face his worst nightmare and do everything he can to save his family. This is an amazing story!!

And finally, the list wouldn't be complete without some shameless self-promotion 😆

My Enemy : A war fic AU in which the Briars are forced to host a Westalian high-ranking officer in their home. As an Ostanian, Yor hates this man, of course! However, little by little Captain Loid Forger wins her over and, despite being enemies, they end up falling deeply in love. Riddled with exciting twists and turns, this story is also full of fluff and spice.

Love Is...: A non-traditional omegaverse in which Twilight is a shifter (a person who can shift between Alpha, Omega or Beta) who experiences his first rut after a kissing practice with his wife. This fic has plenty of fluff, plenty of angst, and some spice too!

Eden's Ball: If you like Eden AU, you're going to love this fic! In this story, Loid Forger, president of the student council, is in charge of organizing a ball at school. His intention is to ask Yor Briar to go with him but things go terribly wrong!

That's it! If you like these recommendations, check out my Spy x Family fic compilation and my previous fic rec lists (part 1 and part 2).

[mustainegf]

can we see some 2019 james? he was so daddy 🤤🤤🤤

THIS IS JUST A DRABBLE BUT I JUST HAD TO DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE 2019 JAMES

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: daddy!kink, slight overstimulation, fingering, praise, semi-public sex?

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 ²⁰¹⁹

I bite my lip, hard enough to bleed. I was trying so hard to stay quiet. James and I were backstage in his dressing room. They were on in 20 minutes and James was insatiable, clearly having his run with me on crunched time.

"Mm. daddy please... let me cum..." I whimper, squirming against his lap, as his fingers curl up inside of me.

"Not so fast, darling... just let me play with you..." he snickered, kissing my temple as he proved his thick fingers into my heat. Each pump left me stretched and stupid.

It made me want more. That made me want to cry, right there. James fingerfucking me.

Making me go mad. He looked at me with his bright blue eyes, taking me all in. God he was gorgeous. His white-ish hair was messily styled back from his face. His stubble gently scratching my cheek.

"You are too pretty" he chuckled. I blushed. He wasn't wrong though. Ileaned forward, desperate for contact but not wanting to let go of his fingers.

"James... please..."

"Ah ah ah, what's you cal me?" He asks, his fingers suddenly stopping, to prove his point.

"Daddy." I whimper. My legs shaking slightly. "Yes, sweet girl. Daddy's going to make you cum now." He looks down at himself then back at me, causing him to smile widely.

Then, without any warning, he starts to quickly finger fuck me again. I'm moaning like crazy. We've only been here about ten minutes, yet I'm already close to cumming. I'm biting my lips even harder this time.

Screaming my cute little high pitched screams that I use when he really hits my spot. "Daddy!" I yelp.

"You don't have to be so loud darlin' he chuckles, continuing to tease me even further, pushing deeper than ever before. My legs quiver. This was happening so fast.

"Such a good girl... such a sweet girl for daddy's fingers, aren't you?" James snickered, kissing my cheek as he plunged his fingers deeper, rubbing right on my G spot.

That was it, I was immediately cumming, quivering and squirting all over his fingers, and the cold floor of the dressing room.

I bury my face into his chest. Whimpering, crying out with each shudder. I could feel my cheeks burning as the embarrassing sounds of my orgasm shook through me.

"That's my perfect girl... squirting all over my fingers... he hummed with a deep chuckle, rubbing up my soft, warm skin.

He had a way of making me sound sexy even after I was done cumming. I blushed profusely, and tried to regain composure. James must've seen the embarrassment flash across my face because he kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry babydoll, its okay. You should get used to it though. The guys probably heard everything." At that moment I realize how loud I actually am.

I try to catch my breath, reaching my hand back to run my fingers through his pretty white hair, slicked back for the show already.

I reach behind his head and pull his face towards mine. Our lips meet softly. We kiss passionately, our tongues dancing around each other. He tasted like old whiskey, leather, and spice. Just like he smelled.

"Mhmm" I sigh when we part. "Thank you daddy." I giggle, almost feeling giddy. James blushes a bit at the comment. "Of course you're welcome sweetheart.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Industry is Having Issues But the Spice Spicy Must Flow

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) eps 1-2 of 10 - One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames starring MaxNat. I'm over this concept but I do enjoy MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Tai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha to deal with. (Phupha is played by Gun Thanawat who was Khom, the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night. We like this, but we scared of the love triangle aspect.) Did that make sense? Yeah, okay, see what I mean?

Initial thoughts?

The subs are troubling but I’m enjoying this show a lot. It’s nice to see MaxNat get something meaty to sink their teeth into - that’s not just each other. Also it’s so smart of them to give us a fully fleshed out entire episode developing the alter romance rather than just a separation + death. It makes Khram’s grief and motivation that much more believable. Also it’s really nice to see Nat have good chemistry with other actors. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 3 of 8 (10?) - I'm still enjoying it. But Two Worlds is objectively better. So this one has lost ranking. Also, unexpectedly chili (the name of my heavy metal Thai cover band).

Lovey switchy and verse main couple too.

This is all quite pleasing.

The bit where the hosts pretend to be a BL couple actor ship was epic on so many levels.

Also unsettling.

All sex work is performative, and in a way there is something more honest about this depiction, in this setting, than what BL actors are made to do on the promo circuit. Which then begs the question, how different is BL from sex work? That's the unsettling bit, for me anyway. Not to slam on sex work AT ALL, we pro-the-true-pros on this damn blog, but actors have been shaded by association with True Professionals for a very long time and BL has already had one epic shut down in this regard. (See the PerthSaint scandal around Love By Chance, no I will not explain.) Where was I? Oh yes, so anyway, see the Gossip section for the part where they better be paid either way!

Also, since I'm a warped fucker, I found this scene funny.

And then hilarious when all of those BL tropes were just trotted out. Like a greatest hits reel.

Truly beyond meta. (How Absolute BL of them.)

Note he’s even standing in yaoi's patented "hands in pocket with the shoulders back"? 

Meanwhile, the gayest bridge in Thailand made its quarterly appearance:

And lip serviced was paid to the most touristy romantic things you can do in Bangkok.

And I mean lip service literally. 

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 5 of 8 - I’m still enjoying it but getting more and more nervous. We getting too close to Promise territory for comfort. EXPLAIN Ji’s reticence well and do it now or risk audience mistrust. We have to be given a GOOD reason for Ji's behavior, or he'll be irredeemable.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - NO SINGING. Yes smiley kisses and good communication and a nice healthy relationship. But no singing!

1000 Years Old ep 6 of 12 - Dropping in the ranks. I’m sorry it’s just gotten boring. It has, however, inspired me to invest in my own ridiculous cream fuzzy sweater. Which I plan to wear with leather trousers and huge stumpy boots, like the Kpop queer I truly am. Or do I mean vampire? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Seems to be an excuse for a small posse of Thai actors to wander around Tokyo playing tourist and sing in public . Someone stop them?

“Most people think this kind of thing is bad manners .”

Anyway, it’s v boring. I’ll give it one more ep but I suspect I’ll DNF.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 6 - Meh. This is also looking suspiciously DNF-a-licious.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 5 of 11 - It's brilliant. I love it. I'm ready to hurt. Let’s do this thing. 

Distribution note: This one has been picked up and is also airing on Viki now, so it may lose YT distribution in soem territories. I like Youku's hard subs better than Viki's subs, but that's a matter of preference not information since I don't speak Mandarin.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - It is good. Every week I like this show a little more. I'm enjoying a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet slightly surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scene with this Japanese brand of authenticity was oddly elegant - for lack of a better way of putting it. All in all, this is a good show. Thought provoking. Stylish.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - It remains lovely but they sure are reusing a lot of footage. Also, this was a classic penultimate doom episode. I do wonder how they are going to resolve this show ethically.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - It is what it is, and it isn’t my style of show no matter what country of origin. Oddly that's one of the reasons I don't like it. Anyone could have made this, it's not as Japanese as I want it to be, it's just indie film club high school angst. Yawn.

I watched it, finally

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) 7 eps - I dislike vertical filming, but I kind of enjoyed this show as a BL. I like class conflict romances. For me the rich kid is a bit too dictatorial (edges into bulling), but it’s kinda works. It’s sparse and underdeveloped and a bit plotless, but mildly entertaining. If you're missing Vietnamese BL you might give it a try. 6/10 

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) 8eps - A Burmese BL that I had thoughts about but actually ended up recommending. Read the saga here:

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) ep 1 of ? - on one hand it's micro-installment vertical, on the other it's adorable and from Taiwan. I blame @heretherebedork entirely for my conundrum. As indeed, I did for My Type back in the day. (That was Nat Chen's first BL, yes of Kiseki: Dear To Me fame.) So I think I will also simply lean on Here to let me know when it's done and binge all at once. It's just too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute pieces, I don't have that kind of endurance training, not even for BL.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - it's finished now, I dropped it at ep 4. Should I bother?

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing for some reason.

Man Suang that MileApo vehicle from last year is coming to Netflix in the USA. I haven't heard much about it and since the KP stans would have lost their tiny minds if it was any good at all, I'm assuming it's not good at all.

Gossip

Thai BL actor Yoon breaks with his former company and talks about some very very VERY shady goings on in the Thai BL industry. Including not being paid.

And whacha know, same thing happening in Korean BL.

Have I mentioned recently how much I hate the film industry?

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is also a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast.

I wonder if this was part of the hold up, with Geonu on Build Up right now, they might have tried to muffle this one. Or maybe it's just that bad...

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV?) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner), Best and frest face, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Without ghost girl.

With ghost girl.

I think she may be my favorite part of 1000 Years.

CLASSIC tsundere seme description of a sunshine uke. Like classic'est of classic. (Two Worlds)

Is there such a thing as a tired trope in a BL? Since it is a genre that is made up entirely of tropes quilted together? Your philosophical question for today brought to you by Deep Night's kabedon (Japanese trope) + punishment threat (Thai trope).

Love me a lap sit moment. (City of Stars)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.