#and yes i think kyle would top in some of these and its not the ones you think

[asteria7fics]

Style Alternate Universe ideas that you should write because I won't get around to it.

Kyle is a disgruntled modeling scout and Stan is a handsome young man from a small town that Kyle manages to sign... For work, and no other reason. Bonus if Cartman is Kyle's boss and they have to find a way out of his grasp so they can run off into the sunset together (gay).

Stan works as a mechanic. Kyle takes his car in one day for routine maintenance, then keeps making excuses to bring his car back in just so he can see/chat with/admire Stan. Bonus if Stan secretly keeps fucking Kyle's car up a little bit to get him back into the shop for the exact same reasons.

Kyle is a therapist with Stan as a client (for depression? Alcoholism? Hoarding? Take your pick), and slowly falls in love with him even though he knows it's horrible and wrong. Bonus if Stan ends their professional relationship before Kyle can and then turns around and asks Kyle to coffee. What a loser. Also I might actually write this one shhhh don't tell anybody.

Stan is the coach for the local high school's football team, and a new student joins the team; the eldest son of a recently divorced Kyle. Bonus points if Stan silently pines for Kyle, assuming he isn't into guys, but Kyle makes the first move.

...or something. I dunno.

[missuswalker]

Kyle dating hc's pleaaaaase 🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

meow meow meow 🤭🤭

relationship headcannons || kyle broflovski x fem reader

✮ summary: kyle as your boyfreind ✮ warnings: i was gonna do what i did for the clyde one but changed my mind, so nsfw content, reminder that characters are aged up (i'm too much of a kyle girl to pass up the oppurtunity)

sfw

before ya'll started dating he did your homework for you as a rizz tactic

he thought it would make you want him

turns out you wanted him even before he started doing your homework, so he starts making you do it yourself

but kyle would do anything for you, so if you ask him with that pretty face of yours, he'll do it anyways

ya'll had a long "are we dating are we not phase"

he's been screwed over so many times that he wanted to make sure you were the one

you definitely were

after much convincing from stan and a couple hundred "no balls, you wont"s from cartman, kyle finally asks to be his gee-eff (girlfriend)

over text in your instagram dms

LOOK, HE WAS TOO NERVOUS TO DO IT IN PERSON

he did it very romantically though

loooooooong paragraph about how much he likes you and wants you to be all his

ends it with "And I know you piss me off sometimes, but I think I could really make us work."

as SOON as you say yes

"Come over. You have my address."

anyways, moving on, he acts like he thinks pet names are cringe, but he can't help but call you that goody goody shit like "angel"

do you hear purring? sorry

anyways, he spoils you to death, like what was in my love language hcs

"oh wow that's so cute" "what color do you want it in" "kyle 😟"

loooves when you wear his boxer shorts around his house, he thinks he's THE man when you do

his mom likes to talk to him about embarrassing things in front of you to mess with him

"hi boobala, your spiderman underwear is fresh out of the dryer 🥰" "ma, that's ikes, get out 😡😡😡😨😰"

when you guys cuddle, he puts his hand up your shirt and rubs your back

he has cold ass hands though

kisses the top of your head all the time

he's like 6'2 so if you're shorter than him he's all like "aww elf 😻😻" when in reality he's just tall

nsfw

WOOF WOOF WOOF AWOOOOO

damn

first time he was suuuuuper sweet and gentle

after that he puts his temper into it

its like theres an earth quake from the bed rocking

ike ain't a snitch though 🤐

he is rough, hoowee

grunts, huffs, groans

all the good shit

probably says some good girl shit at some point

if he's actually upset, he rather you take control

lets you do whatever you want and whimpers

he whines yall

but if cartman pissed him off, its not the same

has you in doggy style and goes WILD

he don't care if you're screaming

yeah he does, when he's finished he STRESSES about sheila

"dude, you were fucking rabid, i'm so fucked 😰😰"

sheila side eyes him at breakfast but doesn't say anything

makes gerald give him the talk

gerald makes randy give him the talk

randy informs him of new positions

someone on wattpad said "jew in the streets, freak in the sheets"

[virgil-upinthestars]

like a little prayer - chapter one

Pairing: Loki x Mobius, Deadpool x Wolverine

Words: 2,585

Summary: Mobius and Sylvie pull some strings to contact some of the only people who might be able to get to Loki, proposing a plan that could help them all.

Chapter Warnings: Strong language, somewhat insincere threats of violence, light shenanigans, angst, pining, gay bickering

header/ch 1

---

Into the sparkly sling ring portal, out onto a squeaky black marble floor. Wade’s forehead collided with it, which was less than courteous, and he made a mental note to ask Cassandra what the fuck if they ever met again, but he dearly hoped that would never happen. 

“Ugh, rude!” he groaned, getting his knees under him and grabbing Logan’s quite muscular arm to pull himself up. Logan promptly shoved him into what felt like a desk. 

“Hello,” said a dry, faintly raspy voice. “If you two could sit down and not knock over your drinks, that would be nice.”

Wade grabbed a chair, steadying himself and squinting at a frankly dumpy-looking middle-aged man in a brown suit. “’Scuse me?”

“We’re back,” Logan muttered, his eyes darting around the ceiling beyond the cubicle, and yep, that orange lighting was unmistakable. “She sent us back here. Why’d she do that?”

“Well, I’d assume it’s because you can go anywhere from here, but I’d like to hope it was because I asked nicely,” the man mused, sitting on the other side of the desk and pushing two paper coffee cups towards them. As per usual whenever someone else bought him coffee, Wade popped the top off to check the contents. Once he saw the whipped cream and sprinkles, he gave the drink an approving nod and lifted his mask to down half the contents.

Logan didn't touch his, as he apparently found much more joy in glaring at the man who had so graciously offered them caffeine after a fight. “Nicely?”

“Mm, yes,” The man took a sip of his own coffee, those eyes flicking between the two of them. “The TVA’s had a deal with Cassandra Nova, ever since a few of our operatives ended up in the Void. I’d be the first to admit that a large majority of the Void’s inhabitants probably don't deserve to be there, but unfortunately, that doesn't apply to everyone.” 

“Yeah, Nicepool definitely deserves to be down there," Wade snorted, wiping whipped cream off his face. "Not Mary Puppins, though, can we go get her?”

The man opened one of the orange files on his desk, and turned it around so they could see its contents. “Pyro. Decent kid, but he's taken a deal with your department head, Paradox, to kill Nova. Which I imagine went over fantastically.”

“Yeah,” Wade sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Remind me what this has to do with saving my universe?” Just to be nice, totally not because he felt guilty, he jabbed a thumb towards Logan. “Or fixing his?”

“Well, I've been watching the two of you for a bit, and . . . .” The man folded his fingers on the table. “I think you can help me.”

Immediately, Logan’s eye twitched. “Why should we?”

A smile just flickered on the other man’s face, and he looked up from Pyro’s file. Something about those eyes gave Wade pause, even though they were set in the face of what looked like a middle-aged dad. 

“Okay,” Wade sighed, and he decided that this guy looked like his name would probably be Phil. Or Kyle. Ooh, or John, or — “Owen. We’re on a bit of a mission right now, and unless you’re willing to help me save my universe from that Tom Wambsgans-looking guy — don’t get me wrong, I loved Succession, it was like watching a house full of sex offenders burn down, but —”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” the man said, closing Pyro's file and brushing it to the side. There was a hard light in his eyes, one that Wade recognized: desperation. “Yes, Paradox wants to destroy your timeline, but from what I'm guessing, Nova would be perfectly happy destroying all of them.”

“You people like your guesses,” Logan grumbled.

Wade sighed. “For the last time, peanut, it was an educated wish —”

“Call me that again, and I'll shove that double-whip diabetes bomb right up your —”

“Okay,” the man said loudly, now looking very much like a middle-aged dad. Possibly also a jet ski salesman. “I’ll just cut to the chase. Also, your coffee has Irish whiskey in it, so please do me a favor and drink it.”

“Really?” Logan muttered, lifting the drink. He took a hesitant sip, but it soon turned into chugging the whole drink in one go.

“Thank you,” the man sighed, then cleared his throat. “You two have been dealing with middle management this whole time.” His eyes flickered with a new sort of light, something like hope. “How would you like to go all the way to the top?”

---

Mobius M. Mobius had been having a very rough few months. First, he finally manages to catch a Loki, then fucks up by getting attached to him, then gets betrayed by him, which, honestly, what was he expecting — only for that Loki to come back, wide eyed and pleading with him. Then Sylvie went and committed some good old-fashioned murder, and the multiverse started falling apart, tearing Loki into pieces across space and time as he desperately tries to help, and eventually decides that the best way to solve it was apparently to go fuck himself off into oblivion without discussing it with any of them.  

Mobius could’ve killed him.

He also would've given anything to see him again.

He also didn't know whether Loki would feel the same, ‘I did it for you’ or not.

He also was about two inches away from ripping his own ears off so he didn't have to hear these two assholes keep going at each other in some kind of weird, extremely violent, seventy-two hour long foreplay. 

“So, it's a tree,” said Wade Wilson, holding his empty coffee cup like a drag queen as Mobius led them down the hall. Logan was trailing behind, silent for now, but still looking like he was debating whether to slam Wade against or through the nearest wall. “You fancy-pants time CIA bastards take orders from a tree?”

Mobius took a long breath. He could almost hear Loki snapping back that we used to take orders from three lizards who turned out to be robots, how’s the tree sound now?

It was making his heart ache.

“We don't take orders from the tree,” Mobius said, forcing himself to maintain an easy tone. “We protect it. It contains all timelines, all possibilities, branching out into infinity. We can't control it, it can't control us, we can only protect h—it. And if the tree were threatened, the fabric of space-time would start to unravel.”

“Oh, so that’s why you're open to stopping Tom Wambsgans from destroying my universe!” Wade laughed. “Finally, there's a threat big enough to the precious tree for you to acknowledge the fact that my whole life —”

“I didn't know about your timeline, okay?” Mobius sighed, shoving open a door marked NO ENTRY. He led them down a curving stairwell, to where Sylvie had agreed to meet him. “No one knew, until five minutes ago, when unsanctioned time-ripper activity was detected in your universe. B-15’s running through the normal channels to shut it down, but until then, I'm trying to arrange something that will help both of us.”

“Oh, both?” Wade said, tossing his empty cup into the abyss. He promptly sat on the railing and began to slide down it. “Do tell.”

“Yes,” Mobius said, gritting his teeth. The line between his thoughts and his words were quickly becoming blurred. “I get you to the guy at the top, you get him to sustain your world while we deal with Paradox, and then you get him to come the fuck out of his little self-imposed isolation hermit hole.”

Precious silence hung for a few seconds, only to be punctuated by a soft “ooh”.

“So,” Wade slid to Mobius’s side, somehow balancing like a goddamn French girl on the railing. “This guy at the top, huh? You two have a history?”

Mobius glanced back at Logan, who just snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re the one who gave him coffee.”

“Couple of hand brushes?” Wade was saying, his voice needling into Mobius’s ear. “Lingering hugs? Old married couple banter? Maybe even a soft, gentle, unforgettable night on an office couch —”

“Like you two didn’t basically hate-fuck in that Odyssey!” Mobius snapped, making the white eyes of Wade’s mask go wide.

“Pervert,” he said at last. “That was a very private moment.”

“I will throw you down this stairwell,” Logan hissed, an honest-to-God vein popping out on his forehead. “Say another word, I fucking dare you — ”

“Fergalicious,”

Logan swung a fist towards Wade. Mobius barely had time to think the claws aren’t out, that’s an improvement before the Wolverine’s blow was stopped by a swirl of green light.

“Oh, my!” called a familiar voice. Mobius leaned over and caught sight of Sylvie on the landing below, her eyes fragile with a hopeless sort of amusement, like a man set for execution laughing because he had sixty-nine days to live. “This is them?”

“I’m afraid so,” Mobius called back, unable to hide the relief in his voice that he was now one step closer to getting these repressed disasters out of his sight. “Do you have it?”

“Of course I do,” she snorted, flicking He Who Remains’ TemPad out of her jacket pocket as she climbed the stairs towards them. “I held my end of the bargain. The real question is if they’ll hold theirs.” Her lips twitched slightly as Logan yelled for her to get your fucking magic off me, and directed his arm back to his side before releasing control. Her eyes flickered as she met Mobius’s gaze. “You really think this will work?”

“I hope so,” Mobius replied, forcing a smile to compensate for the slight shake in his voice. “I really hope so.”

“Right,” Sylvie muttered, turning the TemPad over in her hands as she surveyed the two men. “Wade Wilson and Logan Howlett. Gifted with extraordinary healing powers.”

Wade slid off the railing. “Among other things,”

“Good.” Sylvie’s eyes flashed. “We’ll be testing them today.”

“Hold on,” said Logan, the first time he’d really spoken without provocation. He shouldered his way past Wade to scowl at Mobius and Sylvie with equal force. “Whatever this is, I’m not doing it for free.”

“Oh, fantastic,” Mobius sighed, frantically running through a meager list of things the Wolverine might be willing to risk his life for. An overaged bottle of Jack Daniels probably wouldn’t count. Neither would another Irish coffee. Maybe —

“X-23,” Logan said, his voice brusque. “Laura. She’s in the Void. Get her out.”

Mobius blinked.

“Oh my God,” Wade whispered. “I knew the dad instinct was in there somewhere.”

“Shut up,” Logan snapped, before refocusing on them. “Get her out of there and I’ll do it.”

“Uh, sure,” Mobius glanced towards Sylvie, who gave an easy shrug. “Where, uh . . . do you want us to bring her here, or —”

“I don’t care.” Logan’s throat bobbed. “Take her to this idiot’s world if you want, just don’t take her to mine.”

“His is in danger, though —”

The man’s eyes hardened. “Well, it won’t be.”

For a moment, Wade was actually speechless. The Merc with a Mouth was staring at Logan like he’d just dropped out of the sky, white eyes of his mask wide and hands hanging listlessly in the air. 

“You got it,” Mobius said, pulling his TemPad out of his pocket. Ever since he’d come out of the Void himself, he’d tried to keep a closer eye on anyone who might be surviving down there. He hadn’t even been sure that X-23 was still alive until he’d caught word of her with these two, and now that she’d raided Nova’s place with her friends, they’d all be easy to find. “Sylvie, you wanna give them the speech?”

“Love to.” Sylvie held up the black and gold disc, shocking Wade out of his trance with a shiny thing. “This is a TemPad. With it, I’ll be sending the two of you straight to the trunk of the tree itself, where hopefully, you’ll be able to withstand the Gods-awful amount of temporal radiation long enough to get the attention of the annoying prick at the center. Sound good?”

“Ooh, temporal radiation!” Wade let out a whistle. “I’ve never experienced that one before. What does it do?”

Sylvie’s lip twitched, but there was no humor in her eyes. “Turn you into skin spaghetti.”

“Oh.”

“The levels around the tree would be very lethal to me or Mobius, but we’ve been hoping for a while that you two would be able to complete the job for us.” She twirled the disc in her fingers, and at a sharp look from Mobius, she rolled her eyes and continued. “And we’ll be sending this with you, for your way back.”

“Really?” Wade brightened, holding out a hand. “Yes, please — ”

“Not you.” Sylvie pointed at Logan. “You. You actually seem like the responsible type.”

“Oh, we are truly in catastrophic times,” Wade groaned, leaning back against the railing. “So, about this ‘annoying prick at the center’ —”

Mobius’s TemPad began to buzz. He flicked the notification away from the approximated map of the Void he’d been building, but then there was another alert, and then another, and the thing was nearly buzzing out of his hands. Over it all, highest priority, was a message from B-15.

If you don’t reappear sometime in the next thirty seconds, the whole multiverse is fucked.

Mobius’s heart shot into his throat as he scrolled through the hundreds of alerts, then dropped right down into his stomach.

“Shit,” he whispered.

“Mobius?” Tense worry spiked in Sylvie’s voice, nearly shocking him out of his haze. “Mobius, what’s happened —”

“It’s Cassandra Nova,” he choked out, fumbling up the stairs. “She’s — she’s heading for the Time-Ripper.” His heart pounded in his ears. “She’s — she’s going to —”

She’s going to kill him.

Sylvie hissed something in an old Asgardian tongue, flicking her TemPad and opening a door in front of him. “Get to the war room, I’ll make sure these idiots make it to the tree.”

“Just —” Mobius turned back to Wade and Logan, two men in bright primary-colored suits standing in a TVA stairwell, two men who were as likely to try and kill each other as they were to fuck, two men who were each certified mental disasters but as it stood, his only chance of ever seeing Loki again. 

He’d been watching them for more than a while. He’d gone looking for variants who could withstand the tree’s temporal radiation the second he’d gotten back to the TVA, since Sylvie had told him she could pinpoint the tree’s location, but he hadn’t been able to convince any to help him until now. Here were two men, just as desperate as he was, two men who were now looking back at him with that mirrored, last-ditch determination.

Because fuck it — if this didn’t work, nothing would. 

Mobius swallowed, managing to say, “Just — tell him I miss him, would you?”

If he’s even still alive when you reach him. If any of us are still alive.

Wade nodded. “You got it, Lightning McQueen.”

His lips twitched. “Mobius.”

“Oh!” The white eyes of his mask widened. “You’re Mobius! Which means the guy in the tree has to be —”

Mobius didn’t even care how Wade knew, he didn’t want to hear that name said out loud. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand it. Instead, he turned and bolted up the stairs. 

Towards the one thing he could do.

header/ch 1

more here on ao3

[v1x3n]

-⸝⸝ʚ THE MOHAWK ɞ⸝⸝

141 - johnny 'soap' mctavish ⸝⸝ navigation

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : you're an art teacher who moved over to a new school for a new start, you weren't expecting to get in between 4 of the other teachers ; johnny mctavish - the chemistry teacher, simon riley - the english teacher, kyle garrick - the pe teacher and john price - the history teacher.

୨୧ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 : fluff - eventual angst, more fluff and smut.

part one / ?? - also not proof read

your last school got annoying, some shitty northern school where all the kids wouldnt listen. the annoying little pricks would run rampage across the place, litter everywhere because the school spent the money not on bins or cleaners but for stuff for the principal and the higher ups. so you quit and jumped from school to school untill you landed at this one.

this new school had its ups and downs but all good schools had that. the staff were nice and the kids were decent. not many kids were classed as 'rebels', most of them were good, well-behaved. well in school they were, you didnt want to see what kind of stuff they did after school. even just being in the school half a week, you had heard some stuff. normal British school rumours though. 'this teachers shagged students!' 'i heard the pe teacher is a nonce and cheating on his wife!' obviously they werent true though.

after a while you had met nearly every one in your floor, you hadnt met this one man who was strutting around. speaking to everyone and then eventually you. it was lunch break and you with a few other teachers were chatting, thats when he rocked up. he wore a ironed light blue shirt with a black/grey sweater on the top, his sleeves rolled up to the top of his forearm, just below his elbow. his pants were brown and perfectly outlined the shape of his bulking thighs. "yer new 'ere" he speaks, directly at you yet you hadnt noticed and continued eating your pasta pot. so he sat next to you, he dumped himself down and smiled cheekily at you, "i said 'yer new 'ere" his voice changed to a more dominating tone.

"ah sorry!" you slightly chuckle, pure nervousness. he returns a wide smile at you whilst he takes in your laugh. you give him your name and he replies with, "nice to meet ya, me names johnny"

as you continue eating your meal, he pulls out his. you take the chance to gaze up at his face, well more his hair. his kind of grown out Mohawk made you think what his personality was like. he seemed nice so far.

strange.

you couldnt say it wasnt pretty hot though, obviously you wouldn't tell people that! you were barley a week into being at this school and you had liked it so far, you wouldnt want your chances ruined because of your silly attraction to his hair. his fluffy, brown long hair.

"what department ye in, bonnie?"

"art"

"hm." he sits whilst chewing down on his beef sandwich.

the two of yous talked for a while, the whole of lunch actually. a few people tagged along, just another teacher who you had been talking too for the last few days, she was nice. her name was liv and she was luckily another art teacher. you three were talking, mostly about you : where you came from,other schools youve been at and what you thought on this school.

everyone shared their opinions on the school, you thought it was decent whilst the other two liked it. they had told you after a bit all the flaws dont seem like flaws. it was entertaining, all the rumours and drama that went around.

lunch soon finished and johnny smiled cheekily once more at you, "what days will you be working?"

"i get mondays off" you reply with a happy smile. "great! i ken see ya everyday" he smirks.

you giggle nervously at him and nod, "ill see ya, johnny"

"bye hen"

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ taglist: @xxshadowbabexx // @wonyoungloversblog // @ambitiousabi4288 // @royaltysuite // @tiredlittle-wallflower // @nic-stars // @snowyaddiction

comment to join main taglist!

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

not a req but i was js thinking: imagine the boys w a famous s/o (could be an actor, sports, wtv) and like they see an edit of their s/o on tiktok or sum and they show their s/o like “LOOK. ITS U. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”

idk man this was so random lol but what do u think they would be like if smth like that happened

You say "not a req" and yet I will TREAT IT AS A REQ

The 141 with a Famous Spouse: Edits.

TW: Some NSFW stuff under the cut (m!masturbation).

You and Simon/John/Johnny/Kyle have been very private about your relationship. Both a mix of you being in the public's eye and his career, it just makes sense to keep it secretive. He doesn't even *tell* anyone he's married and you never say his name in public, only ever referring to him as 'my husband' in interviews, leaving your fans to wonder.

John: I think John isn't as active on social media to find edits easily... But there was that one time where he watched an online interview of yours on youtube and they had you reacting to fanfiction and edits and he did a quick google search and... That man will 100% download every tiktok with an edit of yours he can find, so he can watch them in the field when there's no reception. One time he texts you a link to one he particularly loves and adds: "Look at how talented your fans are. They somehow make me love you more with each one of these I find."

Simon: You'd never expect it but he *loves* to watch your interviews on tv/online, and read the tweets whenever something relating to you goes viral. It's only a matter of time until he stumbles across edits. And, let me tell you, he's not even shy about it. He'll watch them while you're both at home lounging. You'll just hear some music coming from his phone and then your own voice reciting that one line from that one interview that one time. "Are you watching videos of me when I'm literally lying on top of you?" "Yes I am. They're very well edited."

Kyle: Boy has known of edits being a thing for ages, watches them for other actors and athletes, so why would he not watch them of their spouse? He especially loves the ones where they ship you with some other celebrity you posed with one time after a movie premiere or a song release or what have you. Like, he cackles at them, knowing your fans are so clueless, he's so proud of himself for 'bagging' you... Sometimes he turns the phone over for you to see them and you always groan at the shit-eating grin on his face. "You're cheating on me with that actor, huh?" He always jokes.

Johnny: Is an ABSOLUTE degenerate. He'll be watching those borderline NSFW edits of you. He's not ashamed about it. Sometimes he jerks off to them too. The man has you on his bed more often than not and yet somehow he still finds time to rub one out to an edit of you in a movie/music video/interview/red carpet and the dirtiest, filthiest song lyrics overtop. He'll also lose it if it includes a scene from that one time you were wearing something sheer, showing off your whole body. The one time you caught him, you heard him murmur a "God, I'm so fuckin' lucky to have ye." under his breath while watching the same edit on repeat.

[lovelykil]

Kyle x reader but its an aquarium date, BUT the aquarium has one of those events where you can spend the night in the aquarium 🤭 maybe smut??

「 Fishy Date 」

kyle x reader older ver.

cw; none I think kaksnhd

note; I love sharks so I projected a little on here sorry 🤷🏾‍♀️ (not) I do this a lot on my stories so 😭 anyway

"You wanna go to the aquarium for our date?"

"Yeah why not? I used to go there all the time as a kid it would be fun to visit again and relive everything." You set your phone down to look at Kyle. He leaned on his pillow looking at the open Google page to the aquarium.

He looked up at you, his expression confused.

"It smells though."

"It's an aquarium.."

"Yeah so it smells fishy." Kyle turned off his phone. You couldn't help but crack a smile, covering your mouth to giggle.

The ginger rose his eyebrow staring at you again "What's so funny?"

"You said fishy, that was corny."

"Oh– you idiot." He caught on, causing a grin to appear on his face as he ruffled your hair. You chuckled some more before going to rest your head on his chest.

He set his hand on your waist and looked down at you.

"Sooo.. aquarium then?" You smiled innocently up at him. You held your bright smile hoping to convince him, after a few seconds of him looking down at you deciding whether or not he should agree he eventually did with a sigh.

"Okay finee."

"Alright good cause I already bought us tickets."

"Oh so if I didn't say yes we still would've gone.."

"Basically."

"Dude."

"Love youu"

──────────

When the time finally came to go to your aquarium date you guys got ready packing a sleeping bag since the aquarium you got tickets to was holding an event, to which a specific amount of people to buy the first 25 tickets would sleep over by the various sea animals.

Lucky enough you were the 10th person to buy that ticket, they were selling like hot cakes.. who knew so many people would want to sleep with smelly fish?

Once you guys got to the place you squealed, being at your childhood favorite place really brought you back. Kyle held your hand smiling down at you seeing you get excited.

You guys walked in and began your adventure.

"Oh, and this is an Epaulette shark! They live in shallow water or any tidal pool, I think this one is an adult cause of its lightish brown skin on top you see? Aren't they so cool?" You pressed your hand against the cold glass, admiring the sea creature who swam with no care in the world. Kyle joined you, pressing both of his hands against the glass.

"You know a lot about sharks babe." He spoke with a giggle. You felt your cheeks burn, you had always been a huge fan of sharks you couldn't help but be a little nerd freak when it came to those magnificent little monsters.

"I just really like them, shut up." You defended, walking away from him. After some time of him watching the shark swim back and forth he looked back, looking around to find you.

He wandered the aquarium frantically after a few minutes of not seeing you, you guys have been at the aquarium for about 2 hours now you've seen everything so he had no idea where you could gone now.

Kyle got out his phone about to dial your number when an announcement came on the speaker.

attention all parents and children, the aquarium will be now hosting our fish-tastic sleepover! Everyone with ticket 'F' will now move to floor 2, stay safe and remember to have fun.

As people moved to floor 2 it began to get crowded, people shoved the teen as he anxiously tried to look for you it was far too loud to even call you now. He cursed to himself trying to get his way through the crowd.

"Y/n! Where are you-" Kyle quickly walked into the 2nd floor, sweeping the place with his eyes hoping to find you, there were only roaming kids with their parents until he saw a familiar person, setting down their sleeping mat by the low dimmed tank that held the jellyfish at. He walked toward the person, his suspension rising to see if it was actually you or not.

"Y/n?" Kyle asked, getting closer. You took off your jacket, looking in the direction of who called your name. Once Kyle saw your face his body immediately relax, stepping toward you.

"I was looking all over for you.. I'm glad I found you." He put his hand on his chest in relief. You smirked slightly, setting down your jacket on your sleeping bag. "Awh you were worried weren't you?" You walked to him to hold his face. His cheeks redden, though you could barely see due to the area you were in.

The jellyfish corner was shrouded in darkness, creating the perfect ambiance for a peaceful slumber and a great place to watch the jellyfish gracefully glide through the water to reflect on various things.

Kyle nodded his head, feeling your hand on his cheek. You heartily smiled at your worried boyfriend going in to kiss his cheek to clear his anxiety.

"Sorry I just wanted to wander off but you found me and now we can be together and watch the jellyfish!" You let go of him to sit down. "Why did you choose this spot?" Kyle sat beside you, looking at your side. You stared at the dark tank, your eyes softened as you watched the majestic creature float around in its habitat.

"Because they look so pretty." You spoke, your eyes remaining on the tank. Kyle studied your face, you looked so memorized and lost in thought all you watched was the jellyfish.

"You look so pretty in the dimmed dark blue light.." Kyle blurted out under his breath, he was captured by your beautiful in that moment he couldn't help but compliment you.

"What'd you say?" You slowly turned your head, not hearing what the ginger mumbled. He blushed, clearing his throat. "Oh uh nothing. Yeah the jellyfish are pretty.." He nervously smiled at you. Your confused expression changed to a slight smile, you grabbed his hand to hold.

"You look so pretty here you know?" You placed a kiss on his pale skin, then looked up to see his surprised face. He rubbed his face with his free hand already starting to be in a mess.

"God sometimes you're just too much." He whispered. You giggled at your boyfriend's flustered state, crawling to him to sit in his lap.

He sighed looking up at you in his lap, you smiled down at him he couldn't help but smile back, putting his hands around your waist. You wrapped your hands around his neck going in to kiss his forehead.

"This date was fun, thank you Ky."

"You're welcome, it was fun until I lost you."

You laughed, letting go of his neck to hold his shoulders.

"Sorry! Won't happen again.. considering now I kinda want you." You rubbed his shoulders slowly, smirking. Kyle looked at you oblivious to what you were trying to imply. But after you reached under his shirt, getting close to his neck he finally realized.

"Jesus christ Y/n there's kids here-"

"So? They'll eventually learn about this shit anyway."

"Oh god."

[clus444]

RealityStar! Gaz Part 3

Open The Chat Rooms

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello everyone! I'm your host, Sativa, and I'm here to test certain theories about love. The contestants will blindly choose their 'Their Forever Partner' and be put through challenges so we can find out how forever their partners are gonna be," Sativa says cheekily. "Sometimes we put what we call 'spies' in the game that no one knows about. Their job is to act like their here for love but its to test limits. More will be explained later as I want to get this show on the road. My final question to the contestants is, are you ready?" The screen turns black and I stare at it waiting for something else to happen.

The words ' Start dating' appear with a loading bar under it. The room is nicely decorated with a beach theme to it. The walls are a nice blue color with a accent wall painted to resemble a beach. They put nice black couch in the wobble with beach themed pillows. Quotes about not giving up taped on the wall. One camera not so secretly placed in the top corner of the room.

The bar finishes loading and 12 profiles pop up. I accept 4 chats and I start three with a simple,

R-Heyyy

Everyone was told no names in case recognition happened. Especially since some have made it known they were on the show. One of the chats consisted of talking about sports only, one treated it as a sex thing kinda and I immediately left, and the others were downright boringgg!

How hard is it to have a normal conversation? Though I can't completely blame them. Dating for me hasn't been lucky and I think I find myself carrying that onto here. But hell can you blame me? Rome wasn't built in a day.

I decide to click on one more before finishing for the day. Clearing my mind and coming at this with as much positive energy as I can.

R- Your profile says that you are from Great Britain

Is the food as bad as they say?

G-Though I love my country,God bless the queen (She's alive right now,I have my reasons), the food does have its faults compared to America

R- Are you trying to say it is better than any other place?!?

G-I said we had some faults... We have some delicacies

R- Can you even count chicken masala...

G- I'll have you know that degradation is my kink

I laugh out loud at that. I guess I kinda did go in hard.

R- Looks like we have something in common.

We began texting back and forth the conversation flowing smoothly. I catch myself giggling and twirling my hair. We talk about movies and of course land on the argument of rose and jack. He could've fit!

G- Yes the door was big enough but! Weight would weigh them down.

R- Puh-Lease! She could have given him her life jacket to help cover him for the cold.

We talk about each others families. His father was enlisted in the army but now spends his days in the wilderness to get his hands dirty. His mom stayed at home to care for him and his sisters. I told him about how my father died which left me and my mother. I only have one sister.

R- My father passed when I was young so I don't have many memories with him.

G- Daddy issues go crazy for the both of us.

Though my father is here, we weren't always close. We are now repairing our relationship.

I also found him to be very funny and quite sassy! His quick comebacks had me dying on the floor. I'm sure the viewers will have a field day with our messages.

*Buzzt*

A buzz happens and lets us know that we have to stop chatting.

G- I'll text you tomorrow. Tell your other dudes I'm first in line.

I smile as I reread his text. I fist bump the air as I start to feel like this wasn't a complete failure. Maybe love is in my cards or maybe I'm being naive and desperate. I'm not quite sure but what I do know is that if this doesn't work out, Hot Girl Summer will!

Kyle receives a small message that says...

S- Feel free to make a confessional. Just grab the camera under the couch and set it where to computer is.

He thinks for a moment weighing his options. He grabs the camera and sets it up. How should I start?

"I'm Kyle Garrick but everyone calls me Garrick. So far I've talked to 8 people. Only two really catch my eye but I have my doubts about this whole thing," He pauses and laughs.

"For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that none of this is real. What can I say? Stacey and I share a similar military family background. And the other one just seems crazy. But I will admit how interested I am to see how this plays out," He finishes talking and signs out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Giving you all some more plot but I cant lie and say I wanna skip some parts. Anyways hope you enjoyed!!!

Masterlist

[elisysd]

7. Tell me why there's a wire in my brain that doesn't know the difference of love and in pain

Summary : Kyle Dawson would never be more than a childhood crush to Romy Schumacher and she had made her peace with that fact a long time ago. But when a drunken night leads her waking up next to him, new and old feelings come back to the surface and what started as a mistake quickly becomes an habit. Even if she swore to herself that she would never fall again for the world champion, her heart has other plans. After all, the heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.

If you want to be part of the taglist, please drop a message and I'll be adding you 🥰

Masterlist - Previously - Next

TW: animal violence

Chapter soundtrack: Tears For Fun - Griff

She felt the morning sun hitting her face and sighed, content, before rolling over, enjoying the sheets on her skin until events of the night before made her open her eyes. She had overslept. She should already be gone. She was about to get up and put her dress back on when she felt his hand circling her wrist, forcing her to stay where she was. Kyle was awake, fully and for a while if she could judge it by how open his eyes were. He looked at her, without a word, judging how she would react before slowly letting her go. She blushed and slowly got out of the bed, putting her underwear on, then dress and shoes, very conscious of each of her steps, her breathing shallow as she was feeling his gaze on her, keeping track of her movements. When she was done, she awkwardly went to the door and that’s when she felt him behind her.

“You’re not leaving me again.”

“See, that’s why I’m always making sure I leave before you wake up. It’s making things weird.”

“I’m done letting you run away.”

“And I won’t have this conversation again.”

“Tell me why. Just tell me why you refuse to explore what we have. I’m not asking for a relationship Romy… I just want to know what we are.”

“I already told you.”

“No, you’re eluding it. Talk to me. Please.”

She sighed and bit her lip, avoiding his gaze. 

“I… I don’t do serious and committed relationships. It’s not for me. I like having fun with you but I can’t offer you anything else,” she said, hoping it would be enough for him to let go.

“Why? I’m not forcing you, I just want to understand,” he smiled softly, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You wouldn’t understand, Kyle,” she huffed.

“Let me try.”

“Because I can already read the headlines from there!” she finally erupted. “Romy Schumacher sleeping her way through the top. Or whatever shit they would come up with. Because according to them, that’s the only reason why I have a seat in F1. You don’t know how hard it had been for me when I arrived. Never again. I will never be dragged in the mud like I’ve been ever again. I don’t want to go through that. Once was enough.”

She was trying her best to brush it off, to not show how it still affected her but Kyle knew her. He could see right through what she desperately wanted to hide. And when he gently took her in his arms, she broke down.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that story, probably not even to Julia, but when Seb arrived as a team principal in Audi, his only request was that I would join as a new driver. That was the only reason he would say yes. He is almost like a second dad for me, he is my mentor, the one who believed in me when other people would not. He fought tooth and nail to get me a seat because for a while Audi was very reluctant to take me in. But they really wanted Seb so they didn’t have much choice. When I was announced, a lot of important people from Audi preferred to leave rather than having a woman in their car and some talked to the media. Rumors were spread about how I got the position. It was everywhere, in every tabloid of every single country. I was apparently having an affair with Seb, he was cheating on his wife with a girl that could be his daughter. I was a homewrecker, a slut, a venal woman. And honestly, I could have handled that if it hadn’t been for the threats. At first, it was stupid comments under my posts and in DMs. But then some people managed to find my house, some tracked me out like I was a vulgar animal. Followed me, screamed nasty things to my ears. I had to get bodyguards for my safety but even that wasn’t dissuading the worst haters.

[TW] Once I was at Audi’s factory and a package was sent to me. Like it happens often, you know it. Fan letters and all… But it was not a letter. Gosh, I still dream about it sometimes. It was the head of a dog ,with blood and a few words written saying ‘you’re the next, bitch.’. [END OF TW]

I remember sitting there, mortified. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk. I had to be exfiltrated while the team was checking everything I received. After that, I had a huge talk with my dad and Seb. They were truly concerned about my safety. They seriously asked me if I wanted to keep going. Maybe it was the shock, I don’t know, but I said yes. I couldn’t let them win. I wouldn’t. If I was stepping down, what kind of message was I sending? There are so many girls who started racing because I was inspiring them. I couldn’t do that to them. So, I said that I was going to do it. I don’t regret it. But I would be lying to say that it didn’t affect the way I behave. I choose who I surround myself with, I choose what I show and I always think twice about what I say. One night stands are easy, there are no expectations. Relationships, on the other hand… You and I both know what would be said if what is going on between us was made public. It already lasted long enough”

Kyle didn’t know what to say. He knew what she had been through, he had read the tabloids. More than once had he needed to ask his team to stop talking about Romy in degrading terms. Sometimes, it was pissing him off to hear that his sport was still so unwelcoming to women. For months before and after her arrival, she had been the talk of the paddock. He never really understood why. For anyone who had watched and followed Romy in junior categories, it was obvious that she would end up in F1. She had won championships and for any other drivers it would have been more than enough to be offered a seat. 

“I didn’t know how bad it had been… Romy, I’m sorry. You were always so smiley.”

“Yeah. It was easier to build this whole persona with a nice smile and a bitchy attitude. If I  showed that I didn’t care, then people would get off my back.”

“You kept everything bottled up inside.”

“I had a good support system. Seb in first place. He really built the team from scratch, making sure I was in a safe and healthy environment.”

“Well, you have me as well. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You can lean on me. I promise I won’t go anywhere. I’m your friend first and foremost and if you really don’t want us to be anything else, it’s fine with me.”

“You make me feel good, you know. It’s easy with you. But I don’t have anything else to offer, Kyle. I wish I could, but I can’t lead you on. You don’t deserve that.”

“I take whatever you will give me, don’t worry.”

“That’s the thing. I know you would but I don’t want you to end up resenting me and, before you say anything, that is what will happen if we keep going like that.”

“I won’t resent you. I could never. I just wish you could trust me more,” he sadly smiled, his hand cradling her cheek as he kissed her forehead. 

Something seemed to shift in the air after their discussions. Romy stopped avoiding him and Kyle started to live in the moment and together, they developed a weird routine. They were having friendly interactions during the day, and passionate conversations that didn’t require much talking at night. And it was okay for them both. Romy also stopped fleeing before he was awake but he hadn’t tried to push her limits. He was doing exactly what he promised her, taking what she was willing to give. 

Time flew by until the Casa Grand Prix where, after an impeccable race, Romy had earned her first podium of the season and Kyle was almost happier for her third place than he was for his own win. Audi was improving. Fast. And a part of him started to get worried, maybe Lamborghini should put more risks into the car development. She was ecstatic and for a moment he wondered if she was not about to jump into his arms. But she didn’t, only giving him a bright smile. 

As they were waiting for the podium to start, she sat next to him and Kyle couldn’t help himself but to brush slightly her hand with his fingertips. He swore he saw her flinch and that reaction made him proud. It was little things that were happening sometimes that made him keep faith and hope that someday, they could be more. It was the way her eyes were often soft when she was looking at him. How she shivered when he was kissing her shoulder, how she was the one to send a goodnight text when they were apart. There was something. And he wouldn’t give up on it. 

He couldn’t help but look at her on the podium as she was holding her proud smile, in vain. He was sure she had tears in her eyes but she would never show it. And when the champagne celebrations started, Kyle made sure she would get a shower she would remember. If her smile was wide, it was even wider now and he swore they were the only ones up there. The rest of the world could wait. But he didn’t expect to see her giving him the same treatment with the same fervor. She was spraying him as much as she could, making him back down while laughing. 

“Stop! You’re making me blind with this thing!”

She didn’t listen to him.

Going out seemed like an obvious thing to do to celebrate podiums. They had ended up in a bowling area, a bit last minute and the evening had felt nice until a fight between Julia and Ethan had broken down. After that, no one had the heart to party anymore and little by little the group had gone their separate ways. Only Romy and Kyle had stayed behind. 

“Well, what a day…” she said. 

“Yeah. If only our best friends could stop being this stupid. They are making it harder for everyone.”

“Do you think one day they will get along?”

“You know, I have a nice feeling about them,” he sighed, feeling tired. “I think the race and all the traveling got to me. My head is pounding.”

“You’re getting old,” she teased him. 

“Shut up.”

But he wasn’t joking or taking it lightly. His head was pounding like rarely. He had not drunk anything beside a coke. He suddenly felt the need to sit down but stumbled a little bit. He thought it had not been noticeable but when he felt Romy’s hand holding his arm and guiding him to a chair, he knew he had done a poor job hiding it.

“Just give me a minute. It’s nothing. I’m more tired than I thought, I guess.”

“Do you want a glass of water? Can I do something?”

He opened his eyes and took a deep breath before giving her a reassuring smile. 

“I’m okay. I already feel better.”

It was not entirely true but the last thing he wanted was to worry her. Her frown had not left her during the whole trip to the hotel and when he saw her pressing his floor and not hers, he joked about how he was not feeling good enough for spending the night together. 

“You’re not in shape to please a woman, you look like you’ve been hit by a truck, Kyle. You’re pale. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“It’s nothing Romy, believe me, it’s not the first time it happens.”

“And it’s supposed to make me feel better?” 

“It goes away quickly most of the time.”

“But not today. Don’t lie to me. I feel how you are leaning on me. You’re weak.”

“Jeez… thanks,” he gritted his teeth. 

“Don’t play male alpha with me. You told me a few weeks ago that I could lean on you, well now it’s my turn to prove to you that you can do just the same.”

When they made it to his room, Kyle didn’t take long before collapsing on his bed. He felt Romy removing his shoes and helping him get comfortable. 

“How long has it been going? The headaches and dizziness, I mean.”

“It started before the beginning of the season. It comes and goes. It’s probably nothing, I think being a world champion is taking a toll on me. Maybe I’m not handling the pressure as well as I thought.”

“Did you go to the doctor?”

“I’m not sick Romy.”

“Maybe not. But you never know.”

He finally opened his eyes and saw how worried she was and he felt guilty. She was supposed to be happy about her podium, not worrying about him.

“Romy, come here, please.” 

She sighed and came closer, nuzzling to his side as he brought her closer. 

“I’m okay, I promise. It’s nothing but if it can help you feel better, I’ll go visit a specialist. I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“It’s a bit too late. You would have collapsed if I had not been there.”

“I would have not,” he replied. 

“If it makes you sleep better at night.”

“Speaking of sleeping, you should get some. You can go, nothing will happen to me,” he tried to reassure her. 

“Bold of you to assume I will leave your side tonight,” she smiled, kissing his cheek. 

Author's note: Romy's backstory is pretty horrible, I know. I just want to hug her and tell her she'll be fine. Not immediately though, I need to torture her a little bit more, but one day she'll be okay.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist: @smoooothoperator-admin

[thegreatwicked]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @pickleprickle!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Currently seven but there will be more oe shots soon...

2. What's your total A03 word count? 149,505

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently Star Wars and the DC verse are my top two, but I also write for Assassins Creed, the Walking Dead, Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, and some Marvel.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Bet You Wish You Had Me Back (Shane Walsh x FOC) SMUT one shot

Unbreakable Bonds (Obi-Wan x FOC) Slow burn, eventual smut/romance

Shadows of Deception (Roman Sionis x FOC) SMUT. SMUT. SMUT.

After the Storm (Hux x FOC) One shot; smut, sex polle troupe... kinda.

1001 Lonely Nights (Dean Winchester x FOC) Smut, one shot

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! I love talking to you guys, your comments make my day and make me want to write more!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I suppose it would have to be 1001 Lonely Nights, I don't currently have much angsty stuff right now but trust me thats about to change very soon as i'm dipping my toes into the murky Sith Obi-wan waters...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think it would have to be Bet You Wish You Had Me Back, and only because as of right now that story is complete.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven't but I'm sure theres someone out there with something shitty to say...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? YES. All the smut. All the time. Give me more of that sweet and spicy capsaicin.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I haven't but there cold be a good one out there I haven't gottent o or discoveed. Truthfully I'm not a huge fan and I much prefer leaving fandom easter eggs for you guys to find.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but that could be fun!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Oooh... Thats tough, I love my OCs... But If i had to choose I'd say Bruce Wayne/Batman x Selina Kyle/Catwoman. The Bat and the Cat.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't really know, I have lots of WIPs and I think I'm doing an ok job on all of them writing fairly frequently, for me its simple matter of 'It''ll be done when it's done' but lovely comments do tend to speed up the process. ;)

16. What are your writing strengths? I've been told my smut is very poetic and emotionally evocative and you can get a sense of more than just the physical interactions between the characters adn you have a feel for what they're going through and thinking. I've also been told I write very good first person. I like to write first person POV from established canon characters like Jason Todd, Obi-wan Kenobi, Darth Maul, etc because we don't often get a look into their minds and it's fun to wear their boots.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I really don't know, I know I tend to bite off more than I can chew...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? It depends, I have a story I'm writing from the POV of a British character and thats similar, but I feel like, if I can't do it right and believably then best not to do it at all.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Probably Lord of the Rings. MANY moons ago.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? It's a tie between Unbreakable Bonds and Shadows of Deception. I love them both because both OCs are different and both male leads; Obi-wan Kenobi and Roman Sionis are VERY different, despite being played by the same actor. That wasn't planed, I swear...

No pressure tags! @heyhawtdawgs, @split-spectrum. @firstofficerwiggles, @ladyinwriting18. @blueeyedheizer, @thenightmarketofdathomir @acciotwinz, @221bshrlocked. @littleredwing89. @murdockussy. @kittyofalltrades. @jedianjakenobi. @eloquentmoon. @amhrosina. @rebelbluerobin @anatee, @wickedscribbles on AO3 @thefamilybruno (you too, you fantastic writer you!)

If I tagged you then I've read your stuff and its amazing, have a lovely day you fantastic people you!

[rattle-em-spooky-jones]

Complete List of All My WIPs

You know when you’re bored and simultaneously procrastinating. Yeah.

Anyway, here’s a comprehensive list of my WIPs which are sorted by fandom. In order, it’s Gintama, DC, Jujutsu Kaisen, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and then some misc. fandoms. It’ll be updated as I get more WIPs. Few have playlists that I made for the fic specifically, or for the general ship/ characters.

(Edit: adding a Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure section because I started it like a week back and already know I Will be having WIPs)

If any of you guys want to know more about any of the fics, just send me an ask. I’d be happy to answer. (*´▽`*)

Gintama:

1. The Misadventures of Mutsu and Sakamoto

Self explanatory, just a little comedic thing.

2. Everyone’s crazy about a sharply dressed man, or in this case… an idiotic merchant?

The only thing I've written for this is 'Essentially the story of different people realizing that Sakamoto is actually really hot.' I can't even say anything to defend myself, Chief.

3.Copper veins, Hands clenched tight

Kouka on Kounan fic. Follows different epithets she has throughout her life [The Blessed, The Cursed, The Lonely, The Master of Kounan, Kouka]

4. Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep 

Premise has huge spoilers so I’ll just give a sparknotes version - Takasugi fakes his death, manages to piss off Sakamoto, Zura, and the entirety of Kabukicho.

5. Digging too Deep 

Sakamoto thinks about his childhood, realizes its more messed up than he thought.

6. As Winds Pass By 

Also has huge spoilers in its premise. Sparknotes version is that this takes place in a world where the canon ending of Gintama happened, and then the second movie's premise of the epidemic happens. Somehow, in the midst of all of this, Sakamoto realizes that he's now immortal.

7. For all the stars in the universe (I was entranced into orbiting you) 

 Atmospheric 2nd person fic following Sakamoto and his unrequited love towards Gintoki. Lots of space metaphors.

8. A person by any other name would still be just as stupid 

Absolutely no clue what's it about, I have written a page though.

9. You know you have cool friends when you guys would be considered an invasive species

My Hero Academia crossover where the Joi 4 get dropped into the MHA universe, get annoyed at the league of villains and decide they're gonna create a better one. A very crack-y fic.

10. Star Eater 

Sakamoto isn't quite human. follows his life from birth to just after the end of the war. I have been half-jokingly calling it my magnum opus.

11. Kakashi’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Posted, will update)

Naruto crossover where Kakashi gets dropped into the Gintama universe. No I have not abandoned it, yes it has been like 3 years since I last updated.

DC:

Gen:

12. Unfridged (Reforged)

Alexandra DeWitt’s journey as a ghost through Greek lands, with Nyx (?) wanting to her to be their presence in the real world, but she has to go through trials before she can do so.

13.  Mirror Mirror On the Wall

A Hal Jordan angst fic grappling with identity. Written in second person and has the style of ‘Bluets’ but focuses on green.

14.  It Will Come Back

In the 25th century, the wards around Gotham keep out creatures that for some reason only Booster's family can see. The 21st century doesn't have those kind of wards.

TimKon:

15. Fingers Entwined, Hearts in Beat

An Orpheus and Eurydice TimKon au. Angst is at full throttle.

16. Top Gun Superboy (working title) Top gun AU with Kon as Maverick and Tim as Iceman. 

Boostle:

17. And I’d Make A Deal With God

Booster Gold grieves over Ted in their shared apartment.

JayKyle:

18. Fire of Unknown Origin

A Bioshock au. Jason and Kyle are trapped down in Rapture. Separately, they both figure out that someone is acting as 'Atlas', a freedom fighter who is supposed to be long dead. After a chance meeting, they decide to work together to figure out what the hell is going on.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rWWOrT7LDGM0wggI9Zl9D?si=43ce8e0a98a8463e

19.  New Wave Starhunters

A Cowboy Bebop AU. Both Jason and Kyle were cryogenically frozen after two separate accidents years apart. Kyle loses all his memories when he wakes up. Jason remembers, but it has been long enough that everyone he's ever known and loved is dead. They both end up as bounty hunters, and this is their story.

HalBarry:

20. Fleeting Touch 

Hal's a ghost stuck in the apartment he used to live in. Barry moved into his new apartment two weeks ago. Can I make it anymore obvious?

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6kM0uBYmqeVAEW7VCQwsHO?si=edb27b2977a14853

21. It's Gettin Hard, this Holdin' back

Just a fluff piece where Barry notices how often Hal touches him, and starts to become hyperware of it because he has a crush on Hal.

22. In the Cracks Beneath Our Feet 

 A Pacific Rim au set in the early days where Jagars where piloted by one pilot. Hal witnesses the destruction of Coast City by Cyborg Superman, but the whole thing is covered up by the board of directors. Hal lashes out at the, and as a result he is put on increasing dangerous missions to get rid of him. They also get Barry (who figured out the one person system is severely harming pilots but isn’t allowed to go public with the findings) to monitor his health and to attempt to ‘spy’ on him. They both ending up slowly realizing the other also hates the Shatterdome and try to fight the corruption of the place. 

23. Wasted Sunset, Forlorn Sunrise [Complete!] A 'the summer hikaru died' au. Hal as Yoshiki, and Barry as Hikaru. Worked on this for the HalBarry Big Bang 2023 in collaboration with @chocolateteapotsvis ! You can see the accompanying art here.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1pB2LnhyaO6bAYAIloLVVr?si=0723f6ab9caa4741

Bonus [Complete]: And One Day Closer to Death Fic I worked on for the Superboy Superzine. It's late at night. Kon contemplates.

Jujutsu Kaisen:

24. AFTER HOURS

Museum au - gojo is a new museum curator (for art pieces) and geto is the ghost that haunts it (with no memories of the past).

25. At the Tip of Your Tongue, In the Back of Your Lungs

Second person Gojo POV, following the timeline from when Gojo and Geto meet for the first time till the end of the Jujutsu Kaisen 0 movie.

26. An Endless Sea

A SatoSugu Pacific Rim Au. Also set in a time before the two pilot drift technology was developed. They’re the greatest pilots in the world until Riko and tengen’s mission where they had to protect Riko goes wrong. Gojo becomes even more stronger with his Jager after the mission, but Geto seems to find his limit and has to have a specific number of missions he can go per day. Geto centric.

27. Jujutsu Textin’ (Posted, but still updating)

A modern day twitter fic where most of the characters are in college.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure:

28. La Ciruela

It’s late at night, yet both Caesar and Joseph are here on this balcony outside. Joseph hides his heart well. Caesar pines.

29. You Gonna Do Something Killer?

....this is so embarrassing I can’t believe I’m adding it in. Caejose smut fic based on that tequila joseph tiktok and art. Joseph bets that he can seduce Caesar. Caesar- very stupidly, and already in love with Jojo - agrees to it.

30. Distant Dreams, Distant Hearts

Kujo family dynamics (Holly-Jotaro, Jotaro-Jolyne) centric fic with a focus on cards.

31.  Before My Body Is Dry (working title)

A Spiderverse au with a twist, with Jolyne as Miles and Jotaro as Jefferson Davis. 

Miscellaneous: 

32. Red Heaven, White Hell

A Daredevil exploration fic based on colours: red blood, red fights, red justice – white hospital, white crimes, white grief.

33. Time Wounds All the Heals (working title)

An Alex Rider (show) fic. A timeloop story where Alex keeps returning back in time, usually after he finds out Ian dies. Card games will be definitely used as some sort of metaphor.

34. The Oddball Blues

A comedy/ romance Giant Killing fic centered around Tsubaki and Kubota’s spare time in Abu Dhabi.

35. Biohazards, Ballistics, and Global Political Tension: An investigation into the impact of bio-organic weapons on modern society (Posted, but still updating)

Collab with @fangirl-on-fire3 ! A collection of accounts about different events in the resident evil universe in the format of a draft of a PhD report. 

[amporella]

HAI AMP… another (not very) mysterious anon (its just nana) here to give my two cents on the whole “is kyle/are the boys ‘worse’ than cartman” situation

i feel like people forget that characters don’t actually have to be characters if that makes sense? like characters can have a sole purpose of simply conveying a message instead of having to be a fully developed character with a backstory that contributes to their final goals and the way they are. for example, in romeo and juliet, the prince isn’t necessarily a fully fleshed out character, but a representation of justice within the play

in any case, like you said previously, cartman isn’t designed to be a character, he is more of an example if anything. his main purpose in the show is to be laughed at and ridiculed because of his amusingly stupid behaviour, and he frequently doesn’t ever have much good coming to him, and if he does it isnt for long, for example in cartmanland where he gets a million dollars and loses it in the same episode solely because he is stupid with the way he handles it; again, he is designed to be laughed at and mocked for how he behaved, and he is not a character that the audience is made to sympathise/empathise with at all

in conclusion: cartman is a racist, antisemitic asshole and is not meant to be compared to the other boys because their storytelling purposes do not intertwine with cartman’s. stan, kyle and kenny all have completely different roles and allegorical meanings to cartman and one would think this is a given concept but i suppose not ^_^

yours faithfully, nana

(also yes i sent this in as an anon ask because my sp blog is a sideblog… screams and cries)

HAII NANA :3

THIS IS VERY TRUE AND WORDED VERY WELL... Cartman is one of those characters with a sole purpose, and he fills it very well! He's iconically evil; you'd be hard pressed to find more well-known despicable characters, given just how he's embedded himself into pop culture (speaking of pop culture, Spotify took his Poker Face cover off!!! which is very sad...). In that sense, he's a great, highly entertaining villain: it only becomes complicated once you try and take him as more than just that.

Him not being meant to be compared to the other boys is also a very good point!! Because he really isn't. Off the top of my head, it's much harder to think of a genuinely emotional Cartman episode, in the same way the other boys each have at least one of their own. I'm sure some people interpret some of his episodes that way, but in reality; he's just not a character the viewer is intended to feel legitimate sympathy for. It's why other characters (even in a satire like South Park) get episodes that showcases their more human parts (a great example is The Poor Kid, for Kenny), while Cartman essentially gets zip. His most humanizing episodes are still played off as jokes, because they're really not meant to be humanizing at all.

I've seen plenty of people who want to make Cartman more than that, which in theory, I don't have much of a problem with; it's when people begin twisting themselves into knots to justify why canon supports him as redeemable that issues begin to arise. It is surprising to me how many people love an evil character but want to take the evil out of him!! At that point, I don't think it's really Cartman anymore.

[fayoftheforest]

fay! its 4:00 pm time to make shit up with me! but yes hi queen hope ur having an awesome day!!! can i get ur opinions on menorah and eli as a ship i need to spread my propaganda

or like mayhaps not just menorah and eli but menorah and benji too 👀👀 gotta give him some love too!!

hi yes umm okay so apologies if I've totally misinterpreted characterisation but here are some jumbled thoughts:

menorah and eli strike me as having a similar dynamic to cartman & kyle in terms of cartman gets into trouble and kyle tries to stop him. but with menorah and eli, I think it would be fewer manipulative schemes and more silly goofy antics. just like, menorah doing stuff like "hey we should totally hide in ikea overnight!!" and eli being like "we should NOT-" but then he goes with her anyway but only for damage control, of course. or so he tells himself. in reality she always gets him 100% on board by the end of it. and yeah, they may get into trouble, but at least they're going down together 😎

for her and golden boy benji, I think there would be a little more friendly rivalry. as a chronic overachiever, benji expects everyone to look up to him, but menorah is just like, "eh :/" and that really bugs him!! because he's so cool and awesome!! why doesn't she see that!! so he ends up doing stupid shit to try to impress her, but every time she's just like, "eh :/" and idk, maybe she goads him into doing more and more extreme shit, and even though he knows it's a bad idea, he's not gonna back down from the challenge!! and it escalates until he winds up breaking a bone or something. and then she sends him a get-well-soon card in the hospital and inside she's written "do better :/" and he's like DAMMIT

anyway that was some silly word vomit thoughts off the top of my head, I hope you enjoyed & please tell me some of your own thoughts on the matter!!

[followingeggs]

cherokee hair tampon and guitar queero please!! <33

thank you ella!!! <33333

cherokee hair tampons

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not?

YES. obviously im biased but i think its also a classic episode of south park. its ridiculous, its got that early sp vibe, and it has one of those live action bits…. did i mention kyle is diabetic… anyway definitely one of my favorites easily top ten

★ Favorite moment?

OUGH.. either when stan is talking to the doctor trying to give him his kidney OR at the end when he says “dud youre my best friend i dont want you to die until i do..” WAAHH…

★ Least favorite moment?

when sharon tells sheila about miss information… no sheila dont listen to her

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it?

disclaimer: i have no idea about the backstory or what research m&t did for this ep, if any lmao. BUT for what it is it was done pretty well? kidney failure is one of the more common complications of diabetes so. whether it was intended or not i was actually kind of impressed when i watched it

★ Something I would change?

less garrison b plot maybe? it kinda got old kinda quick but tbh the episode as a whole still slays

★ Rating out of 5?

4.5/5

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode?

obviously the rep, no matter how minimal is special to me… but i also think its a good satire of the way (white) people appropriate indigenous/other cultures without understanding or listening to people of that culture, and also the way some people who think natural medicine will heal anything/everything because by god ive met so many of those people and they are so. UGh. but yeah!

guitar queer-o

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not?

YES. style cornerstone. i think its another sp classic as one of those movie spoofs. AND its gay

★ Favorite moment?

ughh… when stan and kyle reunite to kick the games ass once and for all!!

★ Least favorite moment?

when kyle comes over to play and hes replaced and stan doesnt do anything 😭

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it?

tbh i think follow that egg! is a better style centric episode than this one (I STILL LOVE GUITAR QUEER-O THO..)

★ Something I would change?

yes they should have kissed at the end (/j but not really)

★ Rating out of 5?

5/5

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode?

top five style episodes for sure… maybe even top three.. thank you matt and trey for crumbs

[worldcatlas]

SNW: Strange New Worlds

Spoiler warning: there will be some.

Following the events of Discovery season 2, Captain Pike heads back to the Enterprise for his own spin-off. We start with a cute little scene of an alien species making first contact, wearing sharp-looking military uniforms with awesome light-up lapels.

My rank is aquamarine and you will address me as such.

As the scene changes, we get a glimpse of some really classic costumes from The Day the Earth Stood Still – apparently one of Captain Pike’s favourites, as he’s watching it while making pancakes and contemplating the horrifying nature of his own doomed existence in an immutable tapestry of fate.

…The movie helps.

Yes, still reeling from having witnessed his own gruesome future, Chris has retreated to his cabin in Montana and adopted the aesthetic of “comfy dad.”

The beard has some potential, though.

Then, without any warning, he cleans up and gets on a horse in a snowstorm, looking like this:

Okay, yes, I’m team beard. 100%.

The viewer suddenly remembers they are writing a blog about fashion, and remembers to pay attention just in time for Admiral April to show up in a shuttle and Starfleet’s latest winter line, complete with gloves and an extra-long jacket.

It’s nice, but I prefer the winter 2154 men’s collection.

They argue about whose jacket is cooler.

Look at this thing. I look amazing.

I think it’s mostly the horse.

Finally, they agree both jackets are good, and Pike will return to the Enterprise. Meanwhile, Spock is on a date.

I love how Vulcan formalwear is so… pointy.

With all the tact of a wild sehlat, Spock comments on how T’Pring is wearing “ritual mating colours,” though it’s hard to tell what those are with how orange everything is on Vulcan. Or maybe the mating colour is orange. That would be convenient.

I’ll bet he hasn’t even noticed her double-decker bun.

Despite the bluntness of Spock’s observation, it IS a great look, with sparkly fabric and interesting cutouts on both the front and back. T’Pring is also a master of accessorizing, and wears swirly gold earrings and a matching gold ring in the shape of a sun.

There’s another accessory inside the box, but it’s probably not important.

Somehow, being an oblivious dingus doesn’t prevent our boy from getting intimate with his new fiancée, and we get to see what Vulcan lingerie looks like! Unlike its lacy human counterpart, Vulcan “date underwear” appears to be geometric and metallic. On the other hand, the sheer cover-up that covers nothing is a well-known garment in human apparel.

I’m not sure I see the logic in this piece of clothing.

Aboard the Enterprise, we are greeted by transporter chief Kyle, who is actually surprisingly well-established in canon and not just some guy named Kyle, which I definitely didn’t assume for a very long time. *cough* 

His uniform is an interesting style, and the colour blocking feels a bit reminiscent of 90s Trek uniforms. He wears a shiny metal badge with his department insignia, similar to the ones we saw in Discovery, in contrast to the simple metallic patches sewn onto the uniforms in TOS.

Friggin’ Kyle.

Most of the bridge crew, on the other hand, wear the solid colour TOS-style uniforms. Right away, we can see they’ve been updated with modern, almost athleticwear fabrics, and have a more severe v-neck.

Spock approves of severity in one’s appearance.

Notably, the rank bands at the cuffs are now coloured to match the uniform, not just standard gold across the board.

Another neat feature is that the upper shoulder/top of sleeve part of these uniforms has a tiny pattern matching the wearer’s department. These symbols are the same as those on their badges, in most cases.

Starburst pattern indicates command.

Spiral pattern indicates operations. Withering glare indicates disdain.

Later, in sick bay, we are introduced to two more legacy TOS characters, Dr. M’Benga and Nurse Chapel. Now, before I get to Nurse Chapel and lose my ability to form cohesive thoughts, let’s look at the good Doctor’s outfit.

The look of a man who’s about to get more lines than the original character ever did.

It’s a lighter blue than other sciences uniforms we’ve seen, closer to the shade used for all medical and science crew in the original series. It also features an interesting front closure, and appears to have a pattern of medical crosses on top of the sleeves/shoulders.

Look, if there’s one guy on the ship who outranks the captain, he gets a special uniform.

Nurse Chapel, on the other hand, gets this absolutely killer white jumpsuit, featuring the same silver bands at the wrist, a zipper down the front, and pockets(!). This is, by far, my favourite uniform variant in Strange New Worlds, and it couldn’t be worn by a better character.

Oh my god she’s so cool. Is she looking this way?

You can also see the same pattern of medical crosses… on the uh…

oh my god I think she looked at me 

I would be sick every day of my life on this starship.

Our guys need to go down to the planet, which means it’s time for disguises! Pike gets a slick black suit, chief of security La’an gets a gorgeous copper jacket, and Spock gets a military-style uniform.

With little shorts.

*chef’s kiss*

I want to focus on La’an’s outfit, which we get to see a little more of as she executes a quick-thinking plan. I love the burgundy tights matching the dress, and of course I’m a fan of the metallic fabric studded with something shiny and metal at the lapels.

I’m a simple Trekkie. Sparkly = good.

So it’s a bit of a shame when they mercilessly beat up a bunch of doctors and steal* their clothes. I do enjoy the construction of these outfits, though, with the high collar and flap closure.

*Okay, they didn’t steal their clothes, they had the ship create replicas of their clothes and beam them down. But that kinda just seems like sci-fi hand-waving because they didn’t want to explain finding three perfectly tailored uniforms. Or have La’an beat up enough doctors to find clothes that fit.

She would, though.

We get a great shot of the full coat, as well as Uhura’s skant, when one of the aliens gets loose aboard Enterprise and they become friends in a turbolift. Note Uhura’s unique rectangular badge, as well.

First time riding the elevator in an alien spaceship?

We also get to see the aliens’ security uniforms in a gorgeous dark teal, complemented by brass-adorned holsters and little tie shields, which are apparently a thing here. I guess neckties are universal, though.

Just like many species develop two arms and eyes, many evolve the half windsor naturally.

The alien president is on top of her brand as well, with an absolutely fierce suit dress in merlot.

That’s ready to go right on the propaganda!

She even comes back in a later scene with a different outfit in the same colour, which tells me this is for sure a woman who has her shit together enough to run a planet.

I can’t even get my socks to match this well.

Before we close out the episode, Admiral April returns with a new jacket, which Pike has to admit is very good.

The badge even has laurels. Okay, you win.

I’m starting to suspect these new-Trek articles are going to be slightly longer.

[laconchadetumadre]

"broke all of his stuff"

cartman gave kyle aids, and while kyle did laugh at cartman it WAS ironic that cartman was always threatening to give kyle aids and then got aids himself, kyle was not to blame for cartman getting aids and he wasnt mocking him, cartman's situation is ironic and thats intented on the creators side, kyle is meant to be a stand in for the audience (since only the audience would remember cartman's aids gag).

"stole his girlfriend"

kyle didn't set out to "steal" heidi from cartman, he recognized that she was in an abusive relationship and wanted to help (because he related to her unbalanced power dynamic with cartman, hence the whole "we are all going out with cartman"). although i do agree he should have stayed out of it, i don't believe this is enough to justify cartman's harassment towards kyle.

"sabotaged his happy future with a wife and kids"

cartman was planning on murdering 10-year-old kyle, and at the end it isn't even kyle or any of the boys who ended up activating the time traveling machine, it's cartman's baby who does after shouting "Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!". It is the hatred against kyle that Cartman himself had instilled into his own family that ended up wiping them from existence. It might not be super on the nose that cartman had been badmouthing kyle to his family even since before reuniting with him, but it is definitely hinted at in the Post Covid special given that Yentl recognized kyle right away and didn't seem happy about him.

"REFUSED to help him when he was sucked into a parallel dimension"

kyle wasn't looking when cartman was sucked into the portal though, he was skeptic about the whole thing so he probably didn't even think cartman was in danger. cartman also tends to overreact or emotionally manipulate the boys so it is pretty reasonable that kyle is doubtfull whenever cartman asks for help. kyle is also usually critized for "sticking his nose where he shouldnt", so i actually think it's nice when he gets to walk away from things tbh. Also, Kyle isnt responsible for cartman, its not his job to care for him or do anything whenever he is in trouble.

"still kept fucking harassing him for being fat even when cartman stopped making jew jokes for the most part"

did you skip the cupid ye episode? cartman has definitely not grown out of his antisemetisism or harassment of kyle quite yet.

"and ya'll have the nerve to shame cartman just for lightly teasing kyle at the end????"

people are allowed to have their own takes on the specials. i personally did like the final punchline even if kyle was the butt of the joke because it was very in character for cartman.

"the reason why this episode was such a breath of fresh air was bc it finally showed kyle being nice to cartman for once and being a good friend BACK"

there are multiple other instances of kyle being nice to cartman or helping him out, this isnt the only time this has happened. off the top of my head i can list off a few episodes here: jewpacabra, tegrity farms (when kyle tried to pay off cartman's and butters debt to some vape dealer), mexican joker, "help, my teenager hates me!", manbearpig, etc. the biggest difference between kyle and cartman when they are helping each other out is that cartman is often forced into helping kyle out (tonsil trouble, mexican joker if you squint, since stan got cartman deported) or is doing so in order to make up for some atrocious thing he has done to kyle previously (mexican joker); on the other hand, kyle is often helping cartman out of a shitty situation that cartman put himself in (tegrity farms, jewpacabra, manbearpig, its a jersey thing, etc).

"cartman helps kyle with shit all the time too i mean deadass remember when he got out of the hospital bed to save kyle from the PC people????"

while there are moments where cartman's actions end up benefiting kyle or the other boys, what happens more often is that cartman realizes helping out the others will result in something beneficial for himself, just like in the very example you provided. kyle says so himself in the end of the episode "It just seems to me like we all lost in this, and that the only person who won was you" his opinion may be biased but, at the end, cartman did get to pull a very racist scheme with the whole mexican pregnant women and tacos thing and faced no consequences for this in particular and, to top it all of, it isn't this particular scheme what solves the problem, it's kyle deciding to succumb to peer pressure that fixes everything.

"yet, kyle didn't appreciate it and still broke all of cartman's stuff"

correct me if im wrong but if this is referring to that one time kyle threatened to break cartman's xbox then we are talking about "tounsil trouble" (12x1), which happens before cartman "saving" kyle from the PC people in Stunning and Brave (19x1) so it's imposible for kyle to "appreciate" something that hasnt happened yet.

"and tried sabotaging his relationship the next season"

cartman self-sabotaged his relationship with heidi, he had already attempted murder and kidnapping on her and successfully jeopardized her health by tricking her into eating junk food and then fatshamed her for putting on weight.

"kyle going out of his way to help cartman with a weight loss drug is honestly the LEAST he could do"

considering how many times cartman has endangered kyle's own health, i dont really think so. even if they were both on even terms, no one really owes you any help to get your own medical records straight (except for the health system itself but that's besides the point).

"to make up for all the times cartman was nice to him and tried helping him and he was an ungrateful little bitch about it."

like i said, kyle has helped out cartman just as many times, and kyle actually does it out of the kindness of his heart, unlike cartman who is usually trying to get something for himself.

"that's why i'm rlly not that mad abt cartman making that ginger jew joke at the end"

this is the only thing i agree with from this whole rant.

"at least they're even now"

i think cartman would end up getting screwed over a thousand times more if kyle tried to make things "even".

ya'll forget how much cartman unconditionally supports kyle

ok so i HATED how after the end of obesity special all the people who shit on cartman while blindly supporting anything kyle does were all like "ugh i can't believe cartman insulted kyle even after how much he helped him in the episode!1!1 😤" or "wow kyle is such a good person he's still willing to help cartman even after everything cartman's done!1!1!" like ok i'm gonna stop you right there LOL. are ya'll forgetting how much of an ASS kyle's been to cartman the past few seasons?!?!? (and rlly the whole series lol) that piece of shit deadass broke all of his stuff, stole his girlfriend, sabotaged his happy future with a wife and kids, REFUSED to help him when he was sucked into a parallel dimension where everyone is replaced with a diverse woman, and still kept fucking harassing him for being fat even when when cartman stopped making jew jokes for the most part. and ya'll have the nerve to shame cartman just for lightly teasing kyle at the end???? the reason why this episode was such a breath of fresh air was bc it finally showed kyle being nice to cartman for once and being a good friend BACK. ya'll are forgetting the fact that cartman helps kyle with shit all the time too i mean deadass remember when he got out of the hospital bed to save kyle from the PC people???? yet, kyle didn't appreciate it and still broke all of cartman's stuff and tried sabotaging his relationship the next season LOL. so yeah kyle going out of his way to help cartman with a weight loss drug is honestly the LEAST he could do at this point to make up for all the times cartman was nice to him and tried helping him and he was an ungrateful little bitch about it. that's why i'm rlly not that mad abt cartman making that ginger jew joke at the end bc i mean at least they're even now and it's rlly nowhere near as bad as all the unappreciative ways kyle has tried to screw cartman over after cartman was there for him.

[diaborodevil]

Manaless

In this world we are all born with mana blessed onto us by the great fathers of heaven and to become a mage is the greatest thanks to them but if you have malice in your soul you’ll be cursed and become a beast so are you ready for the enlightenment process

Kyle: I was born ready

Catherine: I am ready to make my parents proud

Herry: I think I need a few minutes to reevaluate this choice

Arch mage: the you all get a few minutes to reevaluate

Kyle: why are you reconsidering

Herry: what if I become a beast then I’ll become a slave

Kyle: that won’t happen it’d be impossible for that to happen to you

Herry: I I just don’t want to be an outcast

Catherine: well you don’t need to beast to be an outcast

(Catherine looks out a window staring at a white robed individual standing in the forest)

Herry: who’s that

Catherine: don’t know but some say that he excelled at the academy but once he became a mage he got exiled

Kyle: hey bad example but yeah that guy has like a hundred rumors floating around him like that his father “mated” with a beast leading to him

Herry: you know what I’ll go through with it

Kyle: yeah all three of us will be mages

Catherine: we’ll be the ultimate team

(And so the ritual commences)

Arch mage: do you three promise to use the gift of the great fathers wisely and in there name

Kyle: I promise

Herry: I promise

Catherine: I promise

Arch mage: then let the ritual of enlightenment begin

(The ground beneath the three begin to illuminate glowing multiple colors)

Herry: Aughhhhh *bweh*

(Herry falls to the ground)

Catherine: “hmmm I guess he isn’t mage material”

(The arch mage steps back hesitantly)

Kyle: uh uhhh Aughhhhh *bweeh*

(Kyle falls to the floor)

Catherine: “am I going to be the only mage”

(The arch mage walks all the way back to the wall)

Catherine: are are they going to turn into beasts

(Suddenly the light surrounding Catherine disappears)

Catherine: what what’s happening ah ah ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Arch mage: oh no she she shifted I I need to protect myself

(Suddenly the beast crashed through the doors and ran out of town)

Arch mage: what am I going to do atleast we got two mages out of this

(Eventually day turns to night as villagers and mages look for the beast but eventually they give up but we see someone moving through the forest)

Meanwhile in a cave

Catherine: what went wrong why did I become a beast what did I do wrong

: illuminos

Catherine: oh no I’ve been found

(A figure in a white hooded robe walks into the cave holding a long staff a gem glowing brightly at its end)

:don’t worry everyone looking for you is gone and to answer your question low natural mana

Catherine: who are wait what

Carlos: my name is Carlos and you were born with an amount of natural mana under 35 percent

Catherine: what do you mean

Carlos: people with low natural mana turn into “beasts” instead of a weak mage

Catherine: huh

Carlos: it’s natural thing that happens some of us are born with a lot of mana and some of us like you are born with lackluster mana just human nature

Catherine: but that would mean that

Carlos: the church lies yes it does

Catherine: wait how do you know this

Carlos: well my dad was a historian and my mom well she was a umm (Carlos removes his hood revealing white wooly hair and two small horns at the top of his forehead his eyes a dim yellow) she was a beast

Catherine: oh great fathers it’s true your father

Carlos: no no my mom was still human pregnant but then went to get enlightened while pregnant and I’m like this either way I’m here to help you

Meanwhile at a clinic

Kyle: uh my head what happened

Doctor: you passed out while your man’s matured

Kyle: so that means

Doctor: you passed

Herry: uh where am I

Kyle: in recovery

Herry: okay wait where’s Catherine

Doctor: your friend I was told she turned into a beast and ran into the woods

Kyle: no I can’t believe it is there a cure

Doctor: nope not even the strongest healing mages can fix that

Kyle: well we will find her and help her any way we can right

Herry: yep but we should practice our new magic before going on a suicide mission

And that’s that a new original thing hope you liked it if you have any questions ask them