#and yes - we were roommates

[etirabys]

thinking about getting sexiled on short notice in my freshman dorm (worst case: coming back from a shower to find door locked & hair tie around the doorknob) and how ludicrous that seems to me now. "a fundamentally unserious way for people to coordinate around sexual activity"

[tragicallystraight]

Someone please - I'm on my hands and knees begging - write a fix it for tf1 ending

Give me why megop

Just let them be please

[badstargateimagines]

Ok so the ability to process lactose is a genetic mutation that is/was mostly found in (and in those descended from) ancient societies that reared cattle or goats n shit.

My theory is most or all or most of the alien characters would likely be lactose intolerant which makes the scene where Teal’c and Jonas ate ice cream a lot funnier. They fighting for their lives twice that day.

LMAO CANON also I made the perfect meme for this like four years ago and it’s FINALLY relevant so thank you for this unique opportunity that 21 year old me was looking for

I present to you now: Jonas and Teal’c in the Cheyenne Mountain washroom after the Ice Cream Scene

[deus-ex-mona]

i miss her…

[genekies]

tag vent

[lamentablequeen]

i should get one of those babydoll tees but instead of saying something like "catnip for femmes" or like "babe magnet" it needs to say "electromagnetism hazard for deeply strange people. once this magnet turns on it will not turn off. you will find yourself knee deep in a situationship that you will never escape from"

[freckliedan]

okay i need to log out for the week 💛 two of my mutuals from my other main account are coming into town to watch the saw musical and they're crashing with us tonight so we gotta clean the whole house and then @phulge will be here in me and @freckliephil's arms for a WEEK‼️

[imaginederror]

Here’s a doodle of wife and I ‘platonically’ snuggling 6 months before we started dating

[amiharana]

literally all of them AJBDJWBD ok but 15 has so many soft domestic vibes 🥹🫶 and 17 literally link seeing revali cry for the first time omgg revali finally learning how to be emotionally vulnerable w link

(ask game from here)

since i wrote more of a headcanon list of what both revalink's bedtime routines look like on this post for @noraiir-arts, i'll do a drabble kinda thing that's like a moment in their routines for 15 lol

🛌 15. Going through their bedtime routine.

"i just don't see why it's necessary," link says, watching revali cut open a second sheet mask. he already has one on his own face, carefully spread and applied across his gorgeous tan skin. link thinks it makes revali look like he's shedding a layer. "your skin's already nice."

"how do you think i keep it nice?" revali says, carefully removing the sheet mask out of its packaging. "my skin's very sensitive, you know, it requires quite a lot of maintenance to keep it this refreshed and clear. you're lucky that you only need to shower and splash your face with water to keep it that way. who knows how you survived using 3-in-1 body wash your entire life."

"hey, i didn't know that it was bad for you," link grumbles and crosses his arms. "i thought it was more efficient to have it all in one than have to buy it all separately..."

revali rolls his eyes. "mhm. now lay down, so i can put the face mask on you."

link complies easily, the tension leaving his body and his eyes falling shut as soon as he feels revali's fingers, gentle and warm across his jaw. then suddenly, he feels a layer of ice spreading across his face and he squeaks, flinching.

"stay still," revali says, tapping link's thigh.

"it's cold!" link whines back, squirming. "you didn't tell me the face masks were cold!"

"they're cold because i keep them in the fridge and your body is a piece of the sun that fell onto earth," revali replies. "of course it's going to feel cold."

link continues to shiver until he finally gets used to the feeling of the mask on his face. revali continues adjusting its application, smoothing or stretching it out in some places until he's satisfied with the way it sits. "there we go," revali says softly. "good?"

"mhm," link says. he can barely move his face with the mask on. "how are you able to talk with this shit on?"

"you get used to it," revali replies. he lies down beside link on the bed and intertwines their fingers together. "now, we wait for thirty minutes and let the serum sink in."

"does it really take that long?" link says, nose wrinkling. the mask shifts due to the movement and he reaches up to smooth it back down.

"i've fallen asleep with them on before. but it's better to let it stay on longer than shorter so the skin can absorb it."

link hums and they both fall silent. with their fingers still intertwined, revali rubs his thumb against the base of link's. their room is quiet, except for the sound of music playing softly from link's phone. he complains plenty about how revali takes way too long to get ready for bed, but moments like this where he can participate in it with revali are link's favorite.

"thank you," revali says suddenly.

"hm? for what?" link says. he struggles to enunciate it; talking with a sheet mask on is difficult.

"for doing this with me. you didn't have to." revali's voice is quiet, almost shy.

link wants to smile under the sheet mask, but he doesn't want it to get messed up again so he resists. "it's something you like to do, so i wanna do it with you too."

he feels revali squeeze his hand, a silent "i love you". "just don't fall asleep," revali says out loud instead.

this time, link can't resist smiling. "no promises."

💧 17. Link has never seen Revali cry, so when he does, Link struggles with how to react.

when link comes home, the house is quiet. which is usually how it is, even if revali is home before him, but at least his boyfriend is being quiet somewhere where link can see him as soon as he comes in. at least revali will call back when link announces he's home, but he hasn't and it's making him nervous.

"'vali," link calls, slipping his shoes off and pushing them onto the shoe rack they keep by the door. "where are you~!" still no response. it puts link on edge immediately. "'vali?"

revali isn't in the living room or the kitchen, so link moves further into the house. he's not in the office or in the backyard, but his car was parked in the driveway so he has to be home. the last place revali would be is the bedroom, so there link goes.

but he's not prepared for the sight before him when he does.

revali is seated on the edge of the bed with a leg tucked underneath him, a look of despair and tears marring his face. he turns his head to look up at link when he hears him enter the room, but says nothing, staring and tears continuing to streak down his face.

link feels like his lungs have been severed from his esophagus, the air he's so desperately trying to breathe in blowing his chest up like a balloon instead. he's never seen revali like this; revali, whose natural facial expression is a scowl and narrowed eyes. or revali, who reserves his softest, most loving looks upon link. this expression on revali's face now... it feels like the world has fallen out of balance.

he knows he should go to revali, hold him tight and close, and comfort him like revali would do for him, but link can't move. he's rooted to one spot, eyes wide but unable to tear his gaze away from revali.

link's throat is dry, but he gulps and still attempts to speak. "you okay?"

for a moment, revali continues to stare. then he sniffs and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. "yeah, i'm fine," he mumbles, looking away.

moving feels impossible, like he's trying to swim through quicksand, but slowly, link moves forward towards revali until he's seated in front of him on the bed. "...you wanna talk about it?"

revali stares blankly into space, unresponsive. a streak of fear wraps itself around link's chest as he searches revali's face, for any change in expression because this is terrifying.

"'vali?" link tries again in a whisper.

and this time, revali looks at him directly. but his face is scrunching up, his eyes welling with tears as he sniffs deeply again. "sorry," he murmurs, "i— just, it's—" fresh tears roll down his cheeks again and a sound that link has never heard before escapes from revali's throat, one that should have never made a home within revali in the first place.

"oh, 'vali," link whispers and he lets his instincts take over. he crawls forward into revali's lap, wrapping his arms around revali's neck and legs around his waist, holding him tightly. that's when the dam finally breaks and revali lets out the most gut-wrenching sound that link has ever heard him make, beginning to shake and cry openly into his shoulder. he holds revali tighter, letting him cry as much as he wants; it's the least that link could do. "it's okay, i'm here, reva."

eventually, revali's crying comes to a stop, but he's still holding link tightly with his arms around his waist, breathing softly against link's neck. link just strokes his hair, pressing kisses to the side of revali's face where he can reach. it's still a couple minutes before revali can find the words to speak again.

"it's the anniversary of my parents' funeral," he murmurs against link's neck. and it makes link stop in his tracks. oh. "i realize that i never actually talked to you about them. i'm sorry."

"that's okay," link murmurs back, continuing to stroke revali's hair. "you don't have to if you don't want to."

revali pauses for a moment. "i want to," he says softly. "i want you to know about them."

his tone somehow makes link's heart flutters. "okay," he replies in similar volume. "i'd like to, as long as you're comfortable talking about it."

"if it's with you, then i am," revali says. he takes a breath before talking again. "both of my parents died when i was six years old. i... don't want to talk about how they did, but i remember being at the funeral. at the time, i didn't really know what was going on but even as a child i understood grief and sadness." revali's voice grows quieter. "they were all i had, but i can barely even remember them. it's pathetic, i know."

"no it's not," link says softly. "you were still really young and it's a traumatic experience. you can't fault yourself for not being able to remember."

"but they were my parents," revali whispers. "they're the people that gave birth to me and were supposed to take care of me, and all i have to remember them by are legal documents and pictures. i can't even do them justice in memories."

link doesn't know what to say at first. it's an incredibly difficult subject to broach, after all. "even if you can't fully remember them," he decides to start, "i think they would love to know that you're trying. they've probably been watching from above and are so proud of you, because you have so much to be proud of, you know? you're so talented and clever and very handsome, might i add—" revali snorts — "they probably would have been proud to see you grew up well even without them. they would still love you."

"you really think that?" revali murmurs.

"the great revali? uncertain about his greatness?" link says teasingly. he pulls back a little to look at revali's face, whose eyes are still red from crying but hold a fond look. "they would, 'vali. anyone would be proud to have you as a son."

after a beat, revali pulls him back into a hug, squeezing him tight. "thank you," revali whispers. "i appreciate it."

"of course," link replies and turns his head to press another kiss to revali's jaw. "i'm here for you always." they're both quiet for a couple more minutes, content with just holding each other close until revali speaks once more.

"i'm sorry, by the way," revali says into the skin of link's neck. "i probably worried you since i wasn't there to greet you."

"that's okay," link says, his eyes closed. "i get it now after you told me. so don't feel bad anymore, i'm here with you now and i always will be, no matter what. i love you, 'vali, more than anything."

"i love you, too, songbird," revali whispers back. "thank you."

link hums. "i'm gonna get some water for you and then how about cuddles?"

"that sounds... nice." revali's face shifts its position under link's chin. "do you have to leave to get the water, though?"

he giggles. "do you wanna come with me to the kitchen, then?"

"i think we should skip the water and go straight to cuddling."

"nuh uh, you have to rehydrate after crying so much. you do the same to me when i cry."

"...whatever."

link giggles again and then sits back, pulling on revali's arm. "come on, let's go. the sooner we get water, the sooner we can cuddle." revali rolls his eyes but stands up with link and complies. even after all that, revali is still too weak for link and for his cuddles.

[bill-gates-hate-blog]

[illdothehotvoice]

To think I really thought the curse of this week was over yesterday when I got Brothership finally.

[elliethefroggy]

(Based on this prompt)

“You taste like how wet dogs smell,” Chiara complained, retching into the pink bucket they usually reserved for cleaning. She was sitting her coffin, head close to disappearing within the bucket so as to avoid any unwanted spillage. The satin lining her coffin was a bitch to clean after all.

“OK. First, rude. Second, that makes no fucking sense,” Devin said, standing in the doorway of the dark room, his large bulk blocking out most of the light from the hallway, the smell emanating from the bucket keeping him well away.

“You gave me food poisoning!” She hissed at him, fangs extended, eyes blood red.

“You tried to eat me!” Devin squawked back, hands raised in exasperation.

“I only wanted a snack,” Chiara moaned in between retches.

“That’s what the blood bags are for.”

“But they never taste as nice,” she spat out the last of her bile into the bucket. Amazing how much vomit such a small person can expel. “It’s not like I would have killed you,” and then under her breath, “Maybe.”

“Heard that.”

“Stupid werewolf hearing,” she muttered to herself and, subsequently, to the werewolf.

“No,” Devin said, “You’re just a terrible whisperer.”

Chiara hissed again, fangs gleaming under what little of the hallway light managed to sneak past Devin’s mass.

Devin was unimpressed. It’s hard to be intimidated by a vampire cowering her coffin because she’s got a bit of a tummy ache.

“I can’t believe you never told me,” Chiara said, making sure to infuse as much betrayal in her voice as she could.

“Honestly, I thought you knew. I mean, what the fuck do you think I was doing every full moon?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you were PMSing or something.”

“PMSing?” Devin asked, more bewildered than exasperated now.

“Some people’s cycles can get very violent,” Chiara said defensively.

“I don’t think going into the woods to slaughter innocent rabbits to satiate one’s bloodlust is a very common symptom of PMS.”

“Goes to show how much you know,” Chiara huffed and finally done retching, placed the pink bucket on her coffin-side table.

She bundled herself up under layers and layers of deep red blankets, not dissimilar in colour to the blood red satin of her black, ornate coffin which paired nicely with the red and black floral wallpaper. Chiara had a theme and she stuck with it admirably.

“Though that would explain all the raw steaks you consume,” Chiara said, after a moment’s reflection, “And your hatred of the postman.”

“Maybe if Rony were better at his job, I wouldn’t need to hate him.”

Chiara sat up suddenly, dozens of blankets pooling into her lap.

“Wait. Are you the one who’s been digging holes in the garden?”

Devin thought about defending himself, thought about outright lying, but he’d never been very good at that, “I needed somewhere to bury all my bones,” he finally admitted.

“You arsehole! You blamed it on the neighbour’s pomeranian.”

“Sprinkles is hardly innocent; she is an equal participant in the excavation work.”

Chiara was about to retort before she leaned over the coffin, only just managing to get her head over the bucket in time for more fluid to spew out of her mouth.

She groaned as dramatically as she could in her state, and threw her covers over herself, burrowing into the fabric until there was nothing but her deep red eyes and a thin sliver of her pale face—paler than usual—peaking out.

Devin did feel a bit bad about the whole thing, mostly because Chiara was looking especially pathetic and especially small in her oversized coffin (she needed the XL coffin because, apparently, she liked to stretch out during her slumber; Devin thought she just liked to be ostentatious).

“Why don’t I go and find you a nice human you can eat? Would that make you feel better?” Devin asked.

“It might,” she said, her voice muffled. She peered out from underneath the blanket. “Could you get me a type O+?”

“Okay. Type O+.”

“And a virgin?” She asked, pushing her luck.

“Alright, a virgin,” he sighed, rolling his eyes.

He turned away and made to close to the door only to stop when her small voice emanated once again from the pile of blankets.

“Could you clean the bucket before you go?”

“Of course,” Devin stepped into the room, breathing through his mouth.

[honey-dont]

took my beautiful baby boy to experience the horrors

[figuerockfaeth]

I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW

[sunugf]

can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....