#and yeah i know there aren't many people like that but they are out there and they do baffle me

[transmasc-tabris]

People saying that Davrin and Lucianis are really mean to each other or that Neve is an angry bitch if you help Treviso or that Taash is mean for finding Emmrich weird... Wouldnt last an hour in the asylum where they raised me or whatever:

[chimneyz]

This was the last call Maddie expected, the last person that she thought would ever be on the other end of the line.

"911. What is your emergency?"

Maddie didn't know how many times she has repeated those words. Not that it mattered but she wondered some times. Wondered how many people she's actually helped, how many people she was the last person they ever spoke to.

On the other end of the line multiple alarms blaring were off aching Maddie's ears. Gusts of wind scream through making it hard to hear anything that is happening.

"911. Is anyone there?" Maddie's eyes narrowed her heart rate steadily increasing.

"Maddie is that you?" a man's voice piped up.

The blood in Maddie's veins grow ice cold, she knows that voice. She may not know that voice well but she knows that voice. That same voice that made her brother happy all those months ago, that same voice that became an important part in her brother’s life, that same voice that ultimately destroyed him.

"Tommy? W-What is going on? What happened?"

A mirthless laugh comes from the other line.

"Nothing happened yet, but it will. God I was really hoping someone else would pick up the line."

"Where are you?"

"Ummm, in the sky, but that won't last long. Helicopter is going down, nothing I can do..."

"Where are you Tommy? I-I can send help, you will get through this."

"No, I don't think I will, not this time."

Tears started pooling in Maddie’s eyes.

"Tommy don't say that, you don't know what is going to happen."

Silence.

"Maddie, can you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Can you make sure you're here when Evan hears this? He's on shift right now, so no point in calling him... I guess I could of left a voicemail but it's a little hard to think when you're falling to your death."

"Tommy you aren't going to die."

"Sure," Tommy chuckles "Then let's just say falling. It's hard to think while falling."

Tommy take a moment to breath.

"So I guess here is my message. Evan, I have been trying for weeks to figure out the right words, completely failing to find them. I guess now is as good a time as any, in case, well I guess you know already. I shouldn't have said what I said that night. I was just scared, scared of the future, scared that you would actually see me and not this version of me you have in your head. Probably could of used some better words that night to explain my self. You should of heard the earfull I gor from Eddie, he was -understandably- pissed. So I apologize for what I said, how things turned out. Hell even for calling you Buck. I was trying to distance myself from you but it came out cruel and uncalled for. That wasn't my attention. I didn't realize that subtracting my self from the equation, from us, would hurt you. Nor did I realize how much it would hurt me..."

Maddie pursed her lips as tears started streaming down her cheeks. She may have been angry at Tommy for everything but she was seeing a side of him she didn't expect.

"I guess what I want to say, what I am trying to say before I can't is; I love you Evan, I have for a while now and fuck dose it scare me. It scares me how hard I have fallen for you... and that I am sorry, I am so sorry how things have ended Evan."

Silence.

"Tommy?" Maddie finally piped up, her mouth dry.

"Yeah, still here."

"I am going to get you some help ok? And you can tell my brother everything you just said to me in person you got that Tommy?

"Ok," Tommy sighed, "But as a just in case will you give him this message, worse case scenario."

"There isn't going to be a worse case scenario.

"Please just promise me Maddie."

Maddie shudders through the tears, "Yeah ok I will."

"Thank you."

The alarms keep blaring into Maddie’s ears for what feels like forever. Then nothing. The line goes dead.

"Tommy?"

Silence.

[discordiansamba]

some more general spitballing for the pirate zuko au:

once katara gets over her rough start with him, she's actually glad to have another waterbender around. kou's status as Most Experienced Waterbender in the group is a temporary one, but he enjoys it while he can.

local pirate still steals things on the regular. it's just a habit at this point.

kou picked his new name by using the last half of his old one, because he's not very creative when put on the spot. it's a total coincidence that it sounds like koh, but he feels like it's vaguely appropriate, given that he's already had half of his face stolen from him.

traveling via appa has him missing the ocean.

neither aang, nor katara or sokka think to tell toph that kou is fire nation. they think it's obvious- but of course, toph is blind, so she just assumes that since he's a waterbender, he's water tribe. it's kou who has to clear up this misunderstanding.

they forge a tight bond. former rich kids who were forbidden to learn their element and who embraced a less than legal lifestyle in secret? hell yeah. they've got one eye between them and they're ready to be absolute menaces.

aang has to step in so many time because people keep trying to arrest kou. his reputation as a pirate proceeds him.

sokka, as they're being attacked by the sea serpent at serpent's pass: i know! kou should try talking to him. they're kin, right?

kou: NO?????

(toph's nickname for him is, inevitably, sea serpent.)

the gaang just learns to accept that roughly 80% of kou's proposed plans involve illegal activity. you can take the pirate off of his ship, but you can't take the pirate out of the boy.

if you think kou isn't still incorporating breakdancing into his waterbending well. you'd be wrong. pretty sure it drives pakku nuts whenever he does it. that is NOT even remotely a proper waterbending form, young man.

kou: and yet. it works.

zuko's status as a waterbender was likewise hidden from mai and ty lee. when it comes out in the open, they have plenty of questions for azula. she just shrugs and says that her brother is a freak of nature.

learning that his great-grandfather was avatar roku finally clicks things into place for kou. that's why he's a waterbender.

imagine everyone's surprise when the person who gets arrested in chin village is aang, not kou.

local pirate still carries two water skins to go with his dual dao. just absolutely dedicated to the art of dual-wielding. at least it means they have a little more water on them when they're traveling through the desert.

kou meeting the swampbenders and realizing that there are other waterbenders out there who aren't water tribe.

whenever kou brushes off his high society skills, it always throws everyone for a loop. like. oh yeah. you were a prince at one point, weren't you?

it is a beautiful day in ba sing se, and you are a horrible pirate.

the dai li hate him! local pirate infiltrates their base and sets the avatar's sky bison free and departs with plenty of physical proof of their underhanded activities. thanks for keeping meticulous records long feng!

the gaang is jut like. we left you alone for FIVE MINUTES.

the gaang arrives in the fire nation and immediately sets to work spreading rumors that a.) prince zuko is alive and b.) was born a waterbender.

kou's just offended toph started the scams without him. hello? you didn't think to ask the pirate to do scams with you?

kou has zero talent for healing. he has no idea why it's so looked down on and dismissed as 'women's work' when it's actually incredibly difficult to learn.

(hama touches kou's cheek and says it's such a shame. he could have been such a handsome young man. kou is keenly aware she's touching the right half of his face.)

the day of black sun like. your prince has returned. he's a waterbender now. the solar eclipse has taken away your bending, but it hasn't taken away his.

(he still gets to confront his father. he winds up having to dodge his lightning because he can't redirect it.)

he and katara tag team that final fight against azula. kou picks the palace courtyard on purpose. there's water that runs underneath it. it's the perfect place to fight a souped up firebender.

[mookymilksims]

I was accused of being a drama queen and told I should be blocked for starting drama, while the person who said that didn’t even bother to block me themselves.

Then, I started noticing a lot of people who had liked the shady posts about me a month ago suddenly hearting my posts again.

At first, I thought maybe something had happened behind the scenes, causing people to reconsider, even though I’ve been minding my own business and going back to my usual content—without talking about the situation, even privately.

Then, a post I made did pretty well for someone like me, and I saw this narrative being spun around that same time.

I actually planned to spare you all the details because I think this community has a huge misogyny problem that nobody really cares to address, and I wanted the focus to remain on respecting my work, not fueling more drama.

But now, a whole month later, I see the same narrative being pushed again, so let's just clear this up once and for all and move on, yeah?

First of all, this is a bad look. Are you mad because you got blocked? Mad you think I needed you to reblog me immediately? Mad that people took one side of the story but you refuse to share yours because it "doesn’t matter"? Mad that I blocked you before the incident even happened a month ago?

The ccfinds blog in question has never reblogged my work.

For weeks, I tagged them on many of my posts, and they still never reblogged. One of those posts still have the tags on them, as I pointed out over a month ago.

That same blog consistently missed my tags, but never missed the tags of white creators who uploaded the same day as me.

The ccfinds blog has a history of ignoring small creators in general, but especially small creators of color.

It’s funny how they only seem to “find” the tags of small creators of color once those posts have gained enough notes on their own, without any help from the ccfinds blog.

Then, suddenly, they reblog it.

And, suddenly, after I called them out, this blog started reblogging small creators of color a lot faster about a month ago. So much so, it was noticed by the same creators of color this cc finds blog typically ignores. (To make this even clearer: they were suddenly reblogging small creators of color more frequently to make it look like they aren't racist.)

I didn’t even realize this until I asked other small creators of color about it.

This is already KNOWN about you in creator spaces behind the scenes.

So, if you don’t like me, AND despite suddenly reblogging small creators of color (who you typically ignore), you still never reblogged me.

Never. Not once.

After I publicly addressed this, you messaged me claiming you went looking for my tags but couldn’t find them. Well, of course—you couldn’t find them because I had already blocked you.

I only need to be told once that you typically ignore poc. After realizing you were intentionally ignoring me, then poc telling me, you typically ignore them unless their posts do well without you, it's literally all I needed to know.

Let me be clear: I don’t know why you think I should continue tagging you when:

You never reblogged me,

This pattern spanned weeks and several posts,

You were actively reblogging other creators (white creators, to be specific) who uploaded the same day as me.

It’s not about doing it “immediately.” Everyone else I tag gets to it within a week or two, sometimes even days. This was never about timing—it’s the total absence.

The pattern was clear. I noticed it because it was consistent.

I used your tag because it fit my work—it’s an xto3 conversion, and you’re an xto3conversion finds blog, right?

But here’s the thing: other ccfinds blogs? They reblog EVERYONE’S work regardless of popularity. That’s why I respect them the most—they meant it when they said they wanted to support creators.

Your blog doesn’t feel like that. It feels like a table people can’t sit at if the host doesn’t like them. And this isn’t just my experience—other small creators, especially creators of color, have noticed this too.

And as for BelleKenobi... publicly “wondering” what you did wrong, but privately ignoring my message?

A whole month later?

What happened to “touching grass,” sis?

You’re this disgruntled a whole month later?

I directly asked you about it after you made that post—told you to say it with your whole chest—but you ignored it. So why are you acting like you’re still wondering what you did wrong now?

Is this not you ducking me?

You’re wondering. You’re curious. It’s a month later, and you’re still confused. But you had all this time to respond.

Really seems like you’re just acting confused publicly to protect your image.

You see, I cleared you a month ago. I apologized publicly and privately. Then you ran off and made that passive-aggressive post.

Despite knowing you’re still a bully, despite still associating with other bullies in this community, and even after harassing people and laughing about it in a Discord server for everyone to see, I still cleared you from that situation.

Because it was not your blog.

But then you made that shady post, and people saw the real you.

You can’t put that on me because, again, I cleared you from the drama. You inserted yourself back into it when you made that passive-aggressive post.

Even if people didn’t know you to be passive-aggressive or a bully before, they certainly thought so after that post.

You could’ve just kept quiet, or even publicly accepted the apology. Played it off like you were confused—but you messed up your own optics with that post.

Then I wouldn’t have had to mention to everyone that you’ve been a mean girl in this space. You could’ve kept your innocence, but you didn’t.

I was going to let it slide.

I could’ve said, “you’re not the blog, but you’re still a bully, so I don’t care”—but I have something called integrity.

A bully is going to bully, and you would've slipped up anyway.

Everyone would’ve seen it for themselves, whether I said something or not.

Which you did immediately after my apology, by the way.

Now, a whole month later, you're being a hypocrite to the oh-so-kind advice you gave me before?

Chat, is this "touching grass"???

Both of you do not like me. You didn’t before I called this out, you didn’t during, and you don’t now.

So why are you crying about being blocked by someone you don’t like and have never supported?

Does this have anything to do with the fact I’m not canceled? That people didn’t block me in solidarity? That you and all your friends have to like each other's posts now to make it look like you’re still popping? That I still have a YouTube channel and an amazing Discord server? That people still fuck with me? That you no longer have access to me? That I put up a boundary? That I block people who clearly do not like me?

Here’s my advice: block people who don’t like you, instead of searching them up to see if you’re blocked. Then you’ll gain the same peace of mind I have.

[drdemonprince]

thanks for saying what you have about covert incest. I have this memory of my dad that I won't even type out cuz it's just horrible and I haven't been able to determine if it actually happened or if it's a memory of a dream I had but part of me thinks the former cuz I don't think I could've imagined something so horrible. and he died recently and I was determined to find some kind of physical evidence that it really happened but when my mom was moving she got rid of most of his stuff before I got there and I've been so pissed about it but not able to tell her or anyone why and it just reinforces my upset toward her cuz if it really happened then she didn't protect me and goes out of her way to protect him instead but in reading your posts I'm starting to think that whether it actually happened or not doesn't matter, the feelings are there and they're real and I ought to just treat it as though it really happened. anyway sorry to be vague, this has just been a huge weight on me and I feel like finding your blog on here has been such a blessing, especially cuz this has been weighing on me even more lately cuz I've been identifying as a butch lesbian for awhile but have been wondering if I'm actually a bi trans man and have been wanting to explore sexual experiences with queer men to find out if I'd enjoy it but have been really cautious about it and haven't really tried anything yet cuz I'm scared of what it might bring up in me and I'm autistic too so the whole dating and hookup thing is scary to me even without this memory shit and idk if queer men would be interested in me anyway. but yeah I'm gonna explore those resources you shared when I'm ready and I just wanted you to know you're making a difference even through sharing your experiences on your tumblr blog. and also just wanted to confess all this to somebody so thank you for that too

<3 thanks Anon.

Your feelings and traumatized reactions are real, and your vague sense of a memory almost certainly signals that Something was not Right in the dynamic with your father, and you can stand by that and care for yourself as someone whose boundaries have been trammeled upon even if you never get to know the exact facts of what happened. So much of childhood disappears down the memory hole, and there is no easy accounting for it, but as a therapist once wisely said to me, if a person has a fracture that's consistent with a violent attack, you can often see the effects and care for them even if you can't know exactly what happened there.

I'm glad you're feeling open to the idea of exploring your own sexuality and gender identity, too. There are absolutely queer men, both trans and cis, who will be interested in you, and you can move at the pace that works for you. Remember there are no rules to queer sexuality, that's the whole point -- so you never have to try anything you don't want to do. You can have a rich, fulfilling sex life with men that never involves PIV, if you aren't interested in that, or that is completely dependent upon a kink dynamic that isn't directly sexual. or you can just put yourself on the grindr grid and find some guy who wants to give you a massage or eat you out all day. There's so many kinds of very eager people out there, and so you can be as selective and as firm in your boundaries and vetting as you need to be! There's every kind of person out there. I have some guy in my Fetlife DMs right now who only wants to shave my body; another who only wants to jerk off while watching me smell leather. The world is abundant with funny little opportunities.

[majaloveschris]

You know, another blog made a good point I hadn’t thought of before: that both sides are feeding the narrative, and that’s why it seems like this whole thing will never end. I mean, how long has it been said or implied the end was near, and what happens instead? New content is always dropped. It was said that he fired Megan, and that he cut Tara off, but what happened? Megan and Tara both show up at the New York premiere after not being seen for almost the entire year. And his whole family was there, after it was implied he wasn’t on speaking terms with them.

I honestly think they’re (his team) torturing and gaslighting the fandom on purpose now, because let’s be honest, the blogs and the fan accounts are the only ones paying close attention to everything. The general public doesn’t care about either of them. They don’t even know who she is. He’s not properly know outside of Captain America. So why do all this stuff to cover their bases if the general public isn’t asking the questions the fandom is asking? Blogs make a point about the immigration laws, and the brands that are connected to this whole thing, but the general public isn’t consciously aware of any of that. The average person can’t spot a specific brand of watch or clothing, and they can’t list immigration laws off the top of their heads. Why would these little things be spotted or cared about by the general public?

A part of me wonders if both sides are all plants, whether they realize it or not, because both sides in their own way have been the driving forces carrying this stunt to where it is now. Everytime something happens, who talks about it most? Who points things out? Who makes lists of the holes and the things that don’t add up? Both sides are being used; one side just got paid and the other side didn’t. But they’re both being used to keep the manipulation and the gaslighting going. And I don’t think they even realize it.

How many times has certain blogs changed their rhetoric as to why a breakup article hasn’t been published yet? How every time an anon calls out that what they say doesn’t add up, they magically have an explanation? I’m not discounting the things they got the right, but they always seem to get the biggest thing wrong. Now it’s that all players are always brought in for the finale, but what will be the new explanation for November ends and a breakup still hasn’t happened? What will it be when December rolls around and it still hasn’t happened then either?

Sometimes I stand on the outside looking in, and I see just why this whole things keeps going, around and around in circles, a cycle that just keeps on going and never changes. The people who pay attention to it are just as much players in this game the same way Chris and Alba and everyone else is. And it doesn’t matter if you only post make one post about it, or if you post social media numbers or do tarot readings or debunk every single thing that comes out, you contribute to the stunt. You keep it going. Even I’m doing that by sending this. Like everyone who is exhausted, I wish they would just end this. I wish Chris would stand up for himself and put himself, and everyone around him and all of us watching, out of misery. A fan called this a “push and pull” and that’s exactly what it is. It’s like a bad carousel that won’t end. And honestly, it won’t stop until everyone decides they’ve had enough and just gets off, all players included.

Yeah, talking about this whole relationship definitely feeds the narrative, but that's not the reason why this whole thing is still going on. Even if nobody gave a shit about them, or even people would believe they are real and nobody would doubt it, this whole thing would still be going on. We aren't the ones keeping this alive, and we won't be the ones ending it either. This will end when they want it to end; it is simply that. 

Not everybody is going around telling people that the end is near or that it's already ended, and I don't agree with those who do it. Nobody here can know for a fact when and how this ends, and people shouldn't be spreading this whole thing either, especially after they were proved to be wrong a hundred times. This whole thing ends when they say it ends, not when some random person reading a blog says so. But people shouldn't believe it either when they say something like that. Nobody here knows when this ends, so spare yourself from disappointment and don't believe everything you read online. 

The whole "he fired Megan and he cut Tara" thing comes from the fandom. They haven't said or done anything that would give even the slightest indication that he did those things. You can't blame them for something they had nothing to do with? Did Chris say those things? No. Did he imply those things? No. People made those things up. You say it's been implied, and then they appear somewhere. But we can't hold them accountable for things they have nothing to do with. If some people think he did something without any evidence, but then he proceeds to do the exact opposite, it's not his fault. 

Just like in every fandom, most contents are for us. We are the ones sharing it, making it more viral, but saying they are torturing us is a bit of a reach. I agree about the gashlight part, since we believe this is not real, but they keep trying to prove us otherwise. Everybody can decide whether they want to be here or not. We all know what we "signed up" for, and we are all free people who can do whatever they want. If you think this is torture, you can leave and spend time with things that make you happy. Nobody forces anybody to stay here; they don't either. If it's something that has a huge negative effect on your mental health, just walk away; it doesn't worth it. They don't want the general public to care about immigration laws or specific brands. Other than those things, this is not real; people don't care, and they don't want you to do so. They want people to believe this is real, and the GP won't start digging deeper because they don't care, nor do those people who think this is real. They didn't expect this at the very beginning; they thought most people would believe this was real and wouldn't ask questions. 

This plant question is hard because I don't think everybody is paid here. Some people are just way too involved, but that doesn't mean they are getting paid. Do we help them with pointing things out? Probably. But again, we aren't the ones making this longer lasting than it was supposed to be. Even if we weren't talking here, all of this would still be going on. Maybe they wouldn't get as many good tips as they do, but the duration of this relationship isn't on us. 

Some people love acting like they know everything and that they have knowledge about everything, but that doesn't make them plants. Some people are really impulsive, and they say things based on limited information. But not everybody is like them. 

Thinking this whole thing would magically end if we stopped talking about this is a reach, I think. And it's never going to happen. There will always be people talking about this, but if this is fake, it has to end at some point, right? It's not going to last forever just because we post about it. 

This thing will end when they want it to end. We can do and say whatever we want; it's going to end sooner just because of us. 

If I can be honest with you, this whole thing is just not that deep. Some people take this whole thing way too personally and spend way too much time thinking and caring about it. I like sharing my thoughts about this, but that's it. I spend maybe like 30 minutes of my life with this and then deal with my own things. After all, whether they are really together or not is not going to affect my life. How a Hungarian saying says; it won't make bread cheaper. Would it be disappointing? Yeah, because of the person she is. But we can't let this whole thing ruin even a single moment of our lives for us. Our lives are much more important than their fake relationship. 

[fragilefirstchance]

I actually have thoughts about this! I think Ford is a specific type of character.

First of all: Let's talk about fanon!

Something I think that a lot of us forget when we're doing fan analysis is just how caricaturized all blorbos are in canon. This is true of any work of media: the characters aren't real people, they're figments who only exist as we see them on-screen.

Fanon is kind of like those AI image sharpeners that take a blurred photo and make it look like a person's face: yeah, technically that is an accurate way you can interpret the blur, but there are hundreds of faces that would be just as accurate, and not only are they all very different from each other, they don't even agree on the most basic and obvious traits. The same blurry headshot could be a scowling white woman with a square jaw or a smiling black man with sharp features. In a similar way, when we see a character become stressed because they just saw a mouse in a cage, we could say they're scared of mice, or morally opposed to pets, or that they have cage-based trauma - any option that works is plausible.

I think that there are characters who are good characters, characters who are uniquely good subjects for fanon, and a ven diagram between the two. For example, a lot of kids' shows from the nineties are bad, but they managed to produce a really fun and rich fandom. Meanwhile, some really beautiful and culturally important stories don't leave a lot of room for fan works because they've already said what they need to say. I think the absolute best works for fandom are the ones that are objectively good stories, but have really simplified characters: Undertale might be the best example of this, because every single character suggests a rich and beautiful personality while only being on screen for a relatively short time.

So that leads me to part two: Ford!

I think Ford fills a particular fandom niche that was empty for a lot of us.

He's extremely traumatized, and the more we learn about him, the more traumatized he is. He's kind of pushing the limits of what's acceptable from a kids' show, to be honest.

He canonically has a lot of difficulty making friends; this is partly because he's quirky and seemingly neurodivergent, but partly because he has poor social skills. He's not a cartoony, Eeyore-style "has trouble making friends but we love him anyway" character, either; there are tangible, in-story examples of him failing to make friends.

He behaves badly sometimes. This is actually my favorite trait of his - anyone who reads my fanfiction knows how much I love giving people with real flaws a chance to find love and be treated with respect. Most characters have a flaw to overcome, but in his worst moments, Ford actually lashes out and hurts others in a tangible way and not just a child-friendly way. Showrunners don't always like to show that sort of thing.

It is very, very easy to read some severe mental health symptoms into his behavior. Bill is a literal character, but he's also a pretty good metaphor: you can use him to explain hallucinations, dissociative fugues, sudden mood swings, manic episodes, severe depression, paranoia - the list goes on and on.

(That last one is really important. There's a pretty damn big difference between a good metaphor for mental illness and a thoughtful portrayal of that mental illness in a story. It's kind of like how many of us were so starved for queer representation growing up that we read queer metaphors into everything. Well, there still isn't good mental illness representation in most media, so we'll take the metaphors we can get. Ford is a really good metaphor even as he's presented, and there are a lot of holes in his narrative where personality disorder symptoms, manic episodes, delusions, etc. can slot in easily.)

None of those traits make a good Disney character. They only really work because he spends so little time on-screen; the books were only possible because of Gravity Falls's massive commercial success. So, he's a very rare example of a character who's from a light-hearted, positive, optimistic show aimed at children, but who has all of the template features necessary for us to read him as deeply broken in some ways that aren't sanitized or socially acceptable.

So, there are dozens and dozens of Ford AUs in which we project very specific experiences, traumas, and symptom sets into this one man.

How many Ford AUs out there are reflections of our own insecurities, traumas, and just general unresolved issues? Is that, like, his whole purpose in the wider multiverse of alternate Gravity Falls characters? 'Cause I KNOW it isn't just me

[amysubmits]

“you know why some men are so full of shit? because the world has failed them.” yeah … this is bullshit, and honestly pretty insulting to “good” men, many of whom have been dealt a shitty lot in life, who aren’t toxic or abusive. some men are full of shit because it benefits them to be full of shit. if your reaction to having a shitty life is to become sexist (or racist, or homophobic, etc) you’re a bad person.

a world in which 91% of heads of state (and 92% of CEOs, and 72% of industry leaders) are male has not “failed men.” a world in which men own 50% more wealth than women, while women do 300% more unpaid labor than men, has not “failed men.” a world in which 50 countries allow men to legally rape their wives has not “failed men.”

Having privilege in one area doesn't exclude you from being failed in other areas. Look at the suicide rate, the shorter life expectancy, etc.

The fact that there are men who have had shitty lives who don't become racist or sexist doesn't mean that other men weren't failed by the individual people in their lives or society at large.

If one woman experienced trauma and didn't become a drug addict, that doesn't mean her sister who is a drug addict didn't become an addict because of their shared childhood trauma. That's really simplified black and white thinking to say if I turned out okay,they're just choosing to be an addict! Mental health and coping methods are so much more complex than that. Everyone who goes through trauma is just trying to survive as best as their brain and nervous system know how. Some of us end up with coping methods that are seen as pro-social and "good", and others end up with default trauma responses and coping methods that get labeled as "bad". Both are harmful in different ways. And I'm speaking as someone with a lifelong "good girl" coping method.

There are endless factors in how people turn out. As one simplified example, if a boy had abusive and neglectful parents who publicly claimed to be feminists, and then the first person in that kids life who REALLY made them feel cared for, seen, supported, encouraged was sexist? That kid is a lot more likely to grow up sexist than another kid who also had a traumatic childhood but didn't see examples of people being good to them personally who had shitty views. It's just bad logic to say if some men live under patriarchy and become feminist, then the sexist guys are just inherently shitty people...

I'm not trying to say we should look fondly at sexist people. Of course not. But if you really think that there are widespread problems in men and that those things aren't caused by a systemic failure in some way, then you're arguing that a larger portion of men are just born inherently 'bad' somehow compared to women. Believing that a group of people is just somehow inherently bad or lesser is damn near the definition of prejudice.

[pestilentbrood]

a dubious little CREATURE getting up to MISCHIEF. this is NO GOOD. UGHH! The beast is DEMONIC in NATURE. very icky. No good.

[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the previous post, I think the way I approach trying to evaluate a piece of art is asking "Do I think the positive things I get out of it outweigh the parts of it that I don't like?" And when I call something a "guilty pleasure" song/show/book/piece of media/etc. it's really more in the sense of, "Given who I am as a person, the flaws I've found in this should be complete dealbreakers for me, but somehow they aren't, and it makes me feel like I'm having an identity crisis."

[chattieb]

Me and my GF had a whole convo about something similar, fanfics with problematic themes like SA, self-harm, depression, ect.

Personally, we think it's a problem when people romanticize these kind of things. Other than that... Go ape shit?

I'm 16, Black, a trans demiboy, and pansexual. I was kind of the same with the "age gap ship awakening." I had no clue what the LGBTQ+ community was until I found a Shining Armor x Spike comic. Yeah. It was... eeeugh. But, at the time, my brain went "oh fr? guy and a guy?" It led me down this whole rabbit hole (thanks weird gacha club videos) of things that led to me being me. Do I think the comic is hella weird now that I'm older? Of course. But would I have realized my sexuality when I did if I hadn't? Maybe not.

My family is very "don't teach kids about gay stuff" and "trans people bad." If I didn't find out before all of that started popping up more and more I could've been in a way worse place after finding out that part of myself. My pops literally said "gay people are devil workers trying to depopulate the Earth" after he found out I wasn't straight. If he had said that any sooner, I know I would've absorbed it like a sponge and probably have a lot of internalized homophobia.

Just because someone indulges in a certain type of fiction writing doesn't mean they condone it. I read so many fan fics about depression and self-harm because I myself went through similar stuff. I'm not sure if I did go through depression (I was never diagnosed but my ass literally unscrewed a blade from a pencil sharpener just to cut myself, so... I had issues lmfao). Proship is definitely weird, but it's not the same as writing a fictional work about an adult and a child relationship especially if the writer makes it clear that it's wrong and they don't endorse that stuff. It could be a coping mechanism or simply something to write to get better at writing serious stuff.

I kinda rambled, and I maybe feel like I missed the point because... I do that sometimes. But what I'm trying to say is, "Yeah, it's weird to go after people for stuff like that when they don't endorse it or when things aren't as problematic as it seems (like aging up a character that's almost an adult already just for some wholesome kissy art)"

Thank you for being a bastion of sanity amidst the growing "but proshippers! But incest! But RPF!" purity culture's nonsense.

I'm so tired of being afraid to admit that I've even read a fanfic/fancomic because that same person might have a DIFFERENT ACCOUNT where they indulge in a problematic ship. And therefore they are "bad" and by association, I could be labeled "bad" for having looked at something completely unrelated and tossed on a block list.

It's asinine. Yet I'm too afraid to even get off anon because I know I don't have the mental fortitude to survive a potential online witch hunt.

So thank you, I wish you all the strength to keep screaming the words I cannot.

honestly youre not the first person to send me an anon about this, i just tend to feel just as afraid of responding to them as much as you are afraid of coming off anon. i think because while ill post things in vague context, it becomes another thing when someone says it out loud, yknow? but i appreciate it, knowing im not just screaming into a void where no one likes what i have to say.

i think what i will say is im not the only one who THINKS like i do, but i am just dumb enough to be loud and annoying about it. its kind of a thing where i'd never say anything specific because like... some people are so vicious and will demand blood if they get a whiff if i mention anything vaguely. the fact i have to be afraid to say 'people dont mind' for their own safety is crazy, huh?

i think that thing youre saying about being worried by association from association was the same first time i had this thought. i was reading something so good so deep something that effected me so deeply from how well it was talking about the realistic effects of incestuous abuse, and then i went to see what else the author had written and i was like. oh. theres just regular incest in here too. and that was kind of a moment of hm.. perhaps i need to think more about what really matters here. the fact i can engage with what i want and just say 'oh i see what else you do, thats not for me so i will just not engage with that'

so it hurts worse when theres the idea of someone engaging with art they like that has nothing 'weird' going on, then suddenly getting hit with screaming that that artist has a side account theyre not advertising where they make weird art that they are keeping FULLY separate from the account in question. like i do not see how that helps anybody in that situation.

then theres the generalization of it. the idea that maybe all you did was draw like. 19 yr old versions of two 15 yr olds kissing, and suddenly that gets you put on a list of people who will draw literal children in sexual situations, gets you put in that same boat without question. that shit is so cruel to me, that these things all get painted with the same brush. equally as bad, equally as deserving of being ostracized. or the idea that you get put on that list for not caring about if strangers ship things on the internet, makes you just as bad as someone who makes it. i really just hate this entire culture.

idk im... old school i guess? back in my day youd watch a shitty cartoon that had over 20 characters in it so you could smash them together in whatever ship suited you. crack ships were the bread and butter of me and my friends, shit that made no sense but in your own head. the idea of being anti... shipping at all is so... thats very weird. shipping as a thing is very much what fandom was ever made for in the first place? like. im not kidding, learn your history if you dont know that (middle age women shipping kirk and spock)

back when i was a kid i watched this tv show called kim possible, and i was a kid who didnt know shit about themselves seeing a pretty villain lady for the first time who called the main character who was a girl princess. i didnt know what to make of that, i didnt know the age difference between them i was a dumbass child, they were both drawn the same way! then im like 12 years old on the internet, i see theres a ship of the teenage girl and this like 30 yr old villain woman. do you think my 12 year old self saw the problematic nature and thought deeply about the morals of said ship? no. i was like 'holy shit i wish i was the teenage girl dating shego. why do i like this? oh god im a lesbian'

again. i was a child. what are you gonna do, go back in time and arrest my 12 year old ass for looking at pg rated fanart of women kissing on the internet? we didnt HAVE real representation yet! there was no korrasami, no rupphire, no bubbline, no lumity! shipping was the only place you could see stuff that was gay! and it being GAY would get you in more trouble than it having an age gap!

the fact is people WOULD cancel me now for that, wouldnt you?! thats where we're at. that IS a problematic ship, id be put on a blocklist in todays internet for being a child who crushed on villains. i didnt make it, i didnt create for it, i just looked at it and that would get you in trouble now!!! thats crazy.

i know thats a random tangent to go off on, but like..... hhhhh i dont know man. sometimes it seems like people want the internet to pass by broadcasting standards and practices and thats!!! bad!!! let people experiment with their weird shit as they figure themselves out, its so fucking normal. youre not a bad person for looking at things on the internet, youre not a bad person for engaging with things, youre not a bad person for being horny online! especially if you make your own fucking space for it?? a space easily blacklistable, with trigger warnings and EVERYTHING... we didnt have those when i was a kid, so some things are better, but culture is just worse.

i dunno. i just think i would not have thrived in this environment as a teenager. im glad im old and know better, but i worry about the lessons kids are learning from this. to feel ashamed, to bottle shit up, its not good for you. be kind to yourself, be kind to others. we're all working through shit in our own ways.

sorry for another long annoying post

[newtness532]

im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

Sometimes being autistic makes being in fandom so annoying because I cannot stand people who don't interact with content the same way I do

Like yes, I do believe that everything is open to interpretation. I do believe that everyone should be allowed to ship whatever they want, because it's all made up and you should do what makes you happy

However

My interpretation is correct. My ships are correct. All other ships are disgusting. My headcanons are correct and if you don't agree with them or you have a headcanon that clashes with mine, I wish bug infestations in your house

I know these thoughts are wrong, and I'm being stupid. I know everyone is correct because there is no incorrect answer. But stupid autism dictates that it's MY hyperfixation, so I am automatically correct about it and everyone has to agree with me

I do not like the ship JonElias. I find it very icky. I think that people should be allowed to ship that, if that's what they're into. If I see it or hear about it though, I have to take several minutes away from the Internet and maybe scream a little because it makes me feel so icky. If you ship JonElias, it doesn't matter if you're a cool person or not, it doesn't matter if I have the tag blocked so I don't see it anyways, I literally cannot like you. It's so stupid. I could block a really really cool person just for liking a ship that I don't. It's ridiculous

I'm just. So damn annoyed. I feel bad for the mean thoughts I get about people who have different opinions than me, but I literally can't stop them. It's so frustrating

[fellsilver]

Prev. post was also brought on by me thinking Lael deserves to curbstomp SOMEONE, to go apeshit just ONCE, but I don't think she ever will. Oh absolutely she'll defend herself. Absolutely she's killed when the situation's called for it and will again. But, she is a not a creature of vengeance and rage. She'll never get lost in that particular sauce.

[blackvahana]

Yeah. Man. I'm just sitting here remembering I've been doing this my entire life. I feel like there was a patch I wasn't, part of the teen years, and that's either I've forgotten because trauma orrrr something else but

No wonder I've never felt anchored on this plane. But it doesn't matter, well, no, it matters a lot, but this life is just constantly isolating in how it works so I will keep the talk of not fitting in here and what being weirdly one got in one foot out has done to talking to myself lmfao but... I remember. I remember being in the garden as a really young child and I'm not a young child. I'm this chimaeric fairy-type thing of swirling and bulging colours like a psychedelic faceted-insect-eye's led trip, four or more wings of different types that are again, so ungrounded, so psychedelic, vivid. Not uncertain. Not half-formed. Fully formed, the starbeing in me just barely contained in the shape of the human-pretending-to-be-a-fae it's pretending to be

I remember so much, actually, and it's. it's just weirdly melancholic....? Maybe not melancholic, but it's so sad and I don't know why. Actually. I mean I've been trying to piece it together for like twenty minutes now but... People get a little irritated at me for being very "you don't understand and no one sees me" but like. I have lived an entire life walkinv streets where no one sees me. It's very complicated, there's. mental health stuff in there because of course I've come across a lot of spirits but I have bad issues seeing people as real but like. Man yeah no I am a snail and one part of me can be physically seen but the other has always been on the other side

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

the thing about me is that having a crush is fun for the first little while and then I just slowly become more and more overcome with insecurity about it