#and yeah he is kinda self-absorbed^^
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He didn't like to hurt women, he was none of those guys, but James had learnt that in life you often had to do things you didn't like. But he wasn't going to hurt her. – Not in his present situation. His breathing hitched. He slowly lifted his other hand, away from the gun. Instead of believing his friendly intentions and calming down, this woman got only more hostile, it seemed. She glared at him with fierce eyes. By now, James suspected she wasn't a woman at all but something else. Something like those beasts back at his father's camp. Those beasts that his father treated like his sons – better than his own son. Frowning, James wondered if Big Jim had even noticed his son's disappearance – or if he was glad about it.
Feeling the hard concrete in his back, as she pushed him against it, pushed for an answer, his thoughts returned to the present situation. – He still wondered where the rest of his group were. Were they watching from a distance? Too afraid to interfere? Or were they watching with amusement, as the new guy got pushed around by a woman?
“Okay, listen. You were on your own, I was curious what you were up to.” It wasn't even a lie. He had been stupid to follow her. “It's the truth. Now let me go or you will regret it,” he added, loud enough for any watching cowards to hear.
The knife at his throat wasn't even necessary, she could've easily ended his life in one swift move with her bare hands in a second. He was lucky she had given him the chance to speak, but all she was hearing sounded like utter bullshit in her ears. Therefore a snort was the immediate response to it. "Interesting technique by doing so from behind. Wanna try a new answer, sweetie?" Thea was very aware that his other hand wasn't anywhere she could see it, but the hybrid wasn't concerned by it. That's why she only voiced a warning. "Word of advice. Think twice before you pull out that weapon." Her patience was little to none existent, therefore any wrong move from him and she wasn't promising anything. Not long ago she had come out of a shit ass situation. Lost track of two people she had traveled with and was unaware of their whereabouts. This pathetic guy really had chosen the worst time to mess with her.
#ch. james rennie#th. james x thea#dcyswclking#i don’t know why this was in my drafts for so long#i'm sorry#i remember how excited i was to get to this and see thea beat junior’s ass#but then life happened#🙁#anyways i hope thea can still have fun with pushing him around#and yeah he is kinda self-absorbed^^#i see queue
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I rarely talk about this show anymore but the amount of takes I've seen on DEH that amount to 'The story would work better if it was a horror where Evan kills Connor to get into the Murphy family' is staggering
#Dear Evan Hansen#It isn't just me right? This seems strange to other people too right?#God remember when 'Evan is the antagonist of DEH' was one of the most hated takes in the fandom#I'll admit all the critisism from the movie has made me realise that Evan isn't as good of a person as I thought#And yeah he's kinda a self absorbed kid who becomes Even Worse later in the story#But did the movie really fuck it up that badly?#People are saying this about the STAGE SHOW too#I need a cigarette and I don't even smoke
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This firewatch stuff is so interesting!! If you haven't already do you mind linking the memoir you talked about?
It's this one! Fire Season by Philip Connors. I actually didn't plan to get this or anything, I was just in a Half Price Books store and came across this used copy while browsing the environmental science section, as I do. I picked it up off the shelf and went, "Oh! Philip Connors! I know who you are!" because I literally recognized his name from researching for this fic. I'd been on his website and read an excerpt of this. This book was published in 2011, and the Firewatch game came out in 2016. I'm probably not the first person to find and read this book after playing the video game but I do have a feeling I'm the first person to discover it while writing minecraft youtuber fanfiction about it.....
Anyway, it seems good so far. I didn't buy it just because of the AU, but also because I'm (clearly) very interested in the subject on its own. So far I'm only 43 pages into it though!
My fave excerpt so far (pg 35):
And then the holy silence.
Time shapes itself around me in that silence, shape-shifts from mistress to shade, caressing and haunting by turn. Days pass in which there is nothing but wind, bending the pines to postures of worship of an unseen god in the east. The sun bores through the glass windows of the tower, solar heating at its essence. The world becomes the evolution of light. The almost imperceptible shift of color in the skky before dawn, the turn from midnight blue to sapphire. The way the mountains move through shades of green and blue and on through purple and black in the evening. The dark blue reefs of cloud in a backlit sky at twilight. A crimson lip at the edge of the world where the sun has gone, like a smear of blood, reappearing at down in the east. After dark the cosmos glitters gaudily, the planet Venus sharp and bright as a diamond in the west. A full moon spotlights the peak and throws a crisper shadow than in any city, where the light is diffuse and multi-angled, not once source in the sky.
#multiple goodreads reviews mention the author being kinda self-absorbed/pretentious though LOL i guess i'll see as i go forward#the whole book isnt like that excerpt though or it would be exhausting i just liked that bit of description#i did cut out the last sentence where he talks about 'taking a midnight leak' though help#i was like yeah i get it ur a man sldfjslkfjsk#quara asks#so far it is an interesting book and i like the history he brings into it
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just finished a video on no longer human. It really do be like that
#luly talks#a second video as i had seen the wendigoon one way back#but i kinda had forgotten most as i do bc that guy is a bit all over the place so its hard to absorb information he delivers#ngl tho. like the video was good but whenever the guy went yeah he truly isnt human (derogatory) it felt sooo uncomfortable#you fell for the character's facade that you're meant to dismantle etc#but like its true how sometimes when you're in such dissociation and so detached from everything to connect becomes impossible#bc you can only think about what you are doing or not and cannot look at the other person like in the book your guard is too high#i liked a comment on the video a lot too saying that he ran away and didnt help his wife bc he idolized humanity#and she was human but if that didnt protect her then what was the point?#which i mean yeah i mean depersonalization on its own is never a rational Thing you know but its like#i dont know what i was gonna say#but the idolization of humans is not even rare either. is that conviction that to be else makes you inferior#not me tho which truly is off. i am otherkin but its always from a place of coexistence of layers#i can imitate humans and i can imitate cats and i can imitate dogs i can learn to be like you#which i guess would imply there's no natural state of self but i dont think that's the case#but i guess there's nothing in the everythign and there's everything in the nothing#and in the end im just#luly. i guess. name feels like a heavy chain lately#i dont know how to do with that.#you know i always enjoyed it but as im in this state of trynig to. clear up the brain fog. perceive individuality in the multiplicity#names become hard. as well as gender. which i guess are the main thngs that bring you identity so its not surpring#sorry this rant got way more personal than it'd be#its just a really uncomfortable thing#especially when you take masking into account its just a lot.#sorry i really got off the rails there#anyway yeah it happens to the best of us#brain stuff
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STOP IT RAFE, YOU'RE BEING MEAN! — RAFE CAMERON
pairing; bestfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader
summary; rafe has a strict rule that if you ever leave anywhere, you tell him. and when you break that rule, he goes ballistic (bsf!rafe cameron x reader)
warnings ; angst! verbal fighting, angry!rafe, kinda mean rafe, theyre both annoyingly oblivious.. warning this did not turn out how i planned it to be but im also not mad at it, idkkkk
to say you were bored was an understatement.
it was a regular rowdy saturday night in the outerbanks, this nights party being at a random kooks house on the figure eight whose name you couldn't quite remember
you were nursing a forgotten red solo cup of punch in your hand, crowd-watching to pass the time.
it wasn't normal that rafe actually succeeded in convincing you to come to these things. because as much as you liked chatting with spoiled self-absorbed kooks over disgustingly sweet punch, you'd rather stay cuddled up in your fluffy pyjamas and watch sappy romcoms on rafe's couch.
but nevertheless, here you were. dreading every decision you had ever made up to that point as you watched rafe from across the room. a blonde kook girl climbing over him and straddling his hips, sitting on his lap as he smirked.
you knew you really had no right being mad at him because you weren’t dating.
but from the start of your more than 10 year friendship, rafe made it clear that you were and always will be his.
so why didn’t that rule go both ways?
with all the thoughts bouncing around in your head, you failed to hear a certain blonde pouges voice echo around you.
you snapped out of your state, consciousness returning to your mind as a hand was waved repeatedly in your face.
“hey! you there princess?” a smile adorned the boys face, a ratty snapback placed backwards on his blonde hair.
“yeah, jj. right here” you joked, smiling brightly back at him as you brought your cup up to your lips.
“thought we lost you there for a bit princess? what’d you doing standing here all alone?” jj asked, surprised to see your constant kook king shadow nowhere to be seen.
“just people watching, the usual. where’s kie?” you quickly changed the subject, wanting anything to get your mind off of rafe.
“around here somewhere i hope. gonna’ try to round everyone up to we can get outta here. early morning for us cut goers tomorrow, fish to catch and things to steal” you giggled at his joke, earning an even wider grin on his face.
you always liked jj. you thought he was funny, and he was the most loyal person to his friends that you knew. and despite his manic tendencies, you trusted him.
“have a nice night j. drive safe!” you said, watching him wink at you before he disappeared into the crowd.
with jj gone, you were left to your own thoughts agian, which was never a good thing.
you glanced over again at rafe sitting comfortably on the couch on the deck. the light from inside illuminating his face as he leaned over to the table, picking up a small bag of white powder and handing it to a random touran.
you bit your lip as you noticed the same blonde from before clinging to his side, rafe seeming unbothered but making no move to push her off.
god, you couldn’t even imagine how rafe would react if he saw you speaking to jj earlier. so why is it that he can literally let a girl dry hump him in the middle of a party and you shouldn’t care?
you didn’t know why you cared though, because rafe is you best friend, nothing more.
right?
you didn’t have time to think about that right now though, you just needed to get the fuck out of this party right now or you were gonna explode.
an idea clicked in your brain and jj dragged a drunk john b towards the entrance of the house, kiara and pope following quickly behind.
you decided that this was now or never, placing your red solo cup onto a random table as you walked towards them.
“hey jj!” you called out, his head immediately snapping towards you. “you think you could give me a ride home?”
it was nearly 30 minutes later that rafe noticed you were no longer in your spot in corner of the house. business was coming to a halt as he sold his last few grams of cocaine, a heavy wad of cash safely resting in his back pocket.
his eyes scanned the crowd for your face, but you were no where to be seen.
and rafe was starting to freak the fuck out.
he knew you wouldn’t go upstairs to any bedrooms, or go out for an impulse swim in the pool. and he knew most of all that you wouldn’t just leave without telling him, and the notification box in his voice remained empty from your contact.
he ran his hand roughly through his hair, pulling aggressively at the roots and cussing to himself frustrated.
his eyes widened as he saw your friend in the crowd, interrupting what ever useless conversation she was having, because until he knew you were safe, nothing was more important.
he asked rudely where you were, watching as her face morphed into shock that rafe was talking to her. because well, if it’s not plotting on the pouges or selling drugs, rafe doesn’t interact with anyone but you or his friends.
“i-i im not sure. i saw her leave like a bit less than half an hour ago. i thought she told you, she always does”
rafe clenched his jaw, hundreds and thousands of thoughts running through his head. “was she alone?”
“n-no. she was with that jj guy and his friends” your friend murmured, nervous she was ratting you out to the scariest guy in the whole of kildare.
it was safe to say that rafe was fucking pissed.
it took him less than a few seconds to put his keys into the ignition of his jeep and drive illegally fast to your house. you liked to piss him off often when you were in a mood, but never with your safety.
rafe never fucked with your safety, ever.
he murmured venomous cusses to himself and he walked towards your house, the pebbles from your mothers perfect drive way crunching under his feet as he speed to your door.
he made a beeline to the entrance of your home, the white arches welcoming and the doorway dimly lit by the porch lights.
he planted his feet straight on the 'welcome home' door mat, lifting his balled fist up to the door and sending booming knocks to the wood panel.
his knuckles were white as he clenched his fists so hard together there was sure to be crimson-red crescent indents from his fingernails. he was fuming.
the click of the lock releasing from the door snapped him out of his thoughts, the door handle turning and the lobby of the inside of your house quickly coming into view.
he locked eyes with your figure immediately, a pink fluffy towel in your hand as you dried your hair. you were only wearing a pair of long socks and rafes shirt which reached more than halfway down your thighs, your face bare of makeup.
you jumped as you saw the look on his face, an anger prevalent in his stare that you had never seen directed at you. fuck. you were in some deep shit.
you parted your lips to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. for the first time in your life, you were scared of rafe. not that he was going to harm you physically, no, never that.
but you knew how much he cared about you and your safety. you just wished he cared that much about your feelings. you wanted him to see that.
"rafe" you said, your voice coming out as a whisper as you watch the lines on his forehead crease together as thousands of thoughts ran through his head.
"what the fuck were you thinking?" he spat as he pushed you as softly as he could into the house so he could close the door, worried the cold of the night was going to make you shiver.
you didn't have time to answer before he started again, running a hand roughly through his hair as he huffed. "you just left? you fucking left a party at night without even texting me, and you let that fucking pouge drive you home!"
you rolled your eyes at the last statement, this was all about jj? "so that's all you care about? me going home with a boy i've known since third grade who just so happens to live on the cut? you don't give a shit about me, you just care about this stupid kook pouge rivalry!"
"don't say what you know isn't true ma. you know i care about you more than i care about myself." he stated, nearly all the anger in him draining out as he saw your eyes begin to fill with tears. he couldn't handle seeing you cry.
"how do i know you care about me rafe? because you don't seem to show it." you sighed pushing yourself as far away from him as you could, your back pushing up against the wall.
"don't fucking say to me y/n. i've loved you from the moment i met you." you finally stopped looking at the floor, lifting your chin so you made eye contact with him.
"stop it rafe, you're being mean" you whispered, mostly to yourself more than rafe. you couldn't listen to him say how much he loved and cared about you for one more second. not when you still had the picture of him being essentially dry-humped in the middle of a party by a girl you didn't even know.
"ma i love you. you know that. you're my world, my favourite girl. why are you fighting this?" rafe said, trying to hold you wrist in his hand before you quickly pulled it away.
"bec-because you can't just say all this then turn around and have make outs with other girls right in front of me. it-its not fair." you spoke, the tears finally making their way down your cheeks in steady streams.
rafe physically flinched at your statement, his palms getting sweaty and his heart rate increasing into rapid beats. was he actually going to admit his love for you right now, like this?
"what are you saying y/n?" he asked, his voice cracking as his face fell. his mind racing with how many outcomes could come out of this conversation.
"that i love you, you idiot!"
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron angst
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𖤐 𝕯𝖆𝖒𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝕾𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙 𖤐
pairing — fem!nun!reader x sin of lust!seonghwa ft. ateez as the other sins
rating — smut | mdni
wc — 13.7k
synopsis — life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.
nsfw tags under the cut
tags — *strap up babes this is a wild one*, a tad of plot, my attempt at humor, heavy religious/blasphemous themes (don't read if you're uncomfy <3), inclusive writing (reader is not physically described), also reader is the embodiment of purity, 20240127 hwa (moodboard here), kinda slow burn kinda vibes, so much tensionnn, mentions of a pxrn magazine, sooo much teasing, hot make out sesh, dom!hwa, also very sly demon!hwa, virgin!reader, supernatural sex, corruption kink (obviously), masturbation (f), oral (f), the (un)holy trinity =teasing, begging, mind breaking), thigh riding, nipple play, clit play, some light impact play (kitty slaps + 1 face slap), breath play, hair pulling, fingering (f), monster cock!hwa, size training, pet names (angel, love, darling, sweetheart), praising, degradation (slut, whore), unprotected sex (don’t recommend), denied and ruined orgasm (f), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f), overstim, an ungodly amount of cum, cumflation, lil breeding kink at the very end
playlist — me and the devil by soap&skin, unholy by sam smith, going to hell by the pretty reckless, smells blood by kensuke ushio, american horror show by snow wife, toc toc toc by zazie
ateez masterlist | navigation
a/n: i had an absolute blast working over my fave fic ever posted. i love it even more now <3
also wanted to say a special thank you to @hwaightme who really helped me pulled through with one <3 ily bai <3333
Seonghwa was bored out of his mind. Like he had been for decades now, even centuries. He couldn’t remember what it was like to feel… well… anything at all really. And after years upon years of vegetating he didn’t care enough to even try anymore. He just laid there, endlessly staring blankly at the emptiness. He tapped his slender finger on his thigh, comfortably set on the bed of dark purple smoke he had materialized out of thin air.
He let out an audible annoyed groan as he was nonchalantly stretching out his long limbs which didn’t fail to catch the attention of the others.
“What’s wrong?” Yeosang asked as he was feasting on some delicious meal he poofed out magically. He didn’t even take a second to look up the bucket full of chicken drumsticks, wrapping his greasy fingers around the bone and eyeing the meat like one would their life long partner. But then again, that wasn’t too far from the truth for Yeosang.
“I’m bored” Seonghwa complained, pushing his long silky black hair back on his forehead and choosing to ignore Yeosang’s lack of interest, dragging out the word on his tongue, transmitting his state of utter apathy to the others.
“Why don’t you go up and play with the Humans?” Mingi suggested while checking himself out in the mirror, readjusting his bangs and sliding his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before striking a pose to himself, remaining completely self absorbed.
Once again, Seonghwa wasn’t getting much attention from his counterparts but he was somewhat used to it when it came to Mingi.
“What’s the point? They are no fun anyways!” Seonghwa sat up straight and crossed his long elegant legs on the cloud of cotton like smoke.
“Why?” Jongho asked, unlike the others he deigned looking in Seonghwa’s direction with somewhat surprised eyes. “You used to love going around and breaking up happy marriages, luring men and women in with your charms… That was always fun!” He said a little sluggishly, but still with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
“Yeah… Maybe it was…” Seonghwa replied. “Two millenniums ago…” Another prolonged sigh. “When everything still felt fresh.” He got up from the comfortable cloud of smoke, pacing the endless void as his heels clacked and echoed with each step. “Now I know that Humans are only self centered vile creatures who only claim to have better morals than us because they are scared of the consequences that inevitably ensue from succumbing to their primal desires. When in fact, all they want is to eat, kill, have sex or not do anything at all. They are nothing short of underdeveloped, unevolved, spineless piles of meat”
“Meat? Where?” Yeosang said, finally lifting his head from the bucket of fried chicken to look around, eyes rounded in panic.
Not a single one of them reacted except Mingi who side eyed him with disdain before returning to more important matters at hand such as swapping the aviator sunglasses for narrower, more rectangular ones.
“That’s not entirely false” Jongho concluded, shrugging, easily giving up on the idea of comforting Seonghwa.
“I mean where’s the fun if you can’t break their minds to give in?” Seonghwa placed both hands on Jongho's shoulders, slightly shaking him while the latter lifelessly swayed back and forth. “What is the point if they don’t resist the call of evil? If you can’t erode their will like a rock made smooth by the incessant beating of the waves of the cruel sea.” Seonghwa huffed in a quiet, defeated voice, letting go of Jongho's shoulders to let his arms hang at his side while the other one stared at him blankly.
“Hm… okay” Jongho said before slipping off Seonghwa's reach to take his place on the fluffy bed of purple smoke, crashing head first onto the soft cloud.
A silence settled for what seemed like a long moment, even for them, immutable creatures to whom the very concept of time couldn't grasp at their permanence.
“Well you never tried with that girl…” Wooyoung said, slithering his way to Seonghwa without a sound. He had been watching the scene unfold from afar up until then. “What was her name already?” He snapped his fingers and looked to the side trying to access his memory. He turned to Mingi for help but he was too busy looking through the mirror, slipping on yet another dangling necklace and smirking, satisfied at the results. Wooyoung then tried his luck with Yeosang but he now had his face buried in a huge bowl of chicken broth, the empty bucket of fried chicken abandoned and slurping up a big mouthful of noodles in a rather unpleasant way. “Jongho?” he called, finally settling for the one that looked almost passed out on the bed of smoke, but still this one wielded the most positive result.
“Y/n” Jongho responded without conviction, still laying flat on the cloud of smoke, eyes growing heavier by the second.
“Yeah! That’s right!” Wooyoung exclaimed. “That girl is unbreakable,” he affirmed. Seonghwa scoffed and threw an unconvinced look to his peer.
“No really! I’ve tried to corrupt her but I really couldn’t”. Wooyoung said, raising his brows and talking loudly to support his point. But that did little to persuade Seonghwa, he was convinced that Wooyoung was just not as good as him at breaking the mortals’ souls. So yes, it was possible that Wooyoung had struggled with that girl. But not him, surely not him.
When Wooyoung saw Seonghwa was not budging his face dropped, and he turned to the others. “Please someone back me up on this one”
“Oh yeaaah… I remember her” Yeosang said, voice cut by various sounds of loud lips smacking and open mouth chewing. “Even I tried!”
Now, that was different. Seonghwa was interested. Most people are quick to indulge themselves when it comes to food. It was, so to speak, the easiest sin of the seven to succumb to. The Humans often say “there’s always room for dessert” and innocently eat a generous slice of cake after devouring a full meal. They don’t even notice Yeosang forcing the big spoon full of buttery sugary goodness into their mouths. They don’t even know Yeosang, himself, made this saying.
“She refused to even do as much as taste the delicious meal I made her sister cook for her even though she was starving… instead she gave it to the homeless man living not far from her apartment.” Yeosang stated with aberration shaking his head in disappointment before plunging right back in the ramyeon bowl.
“Hmmm” Seonghwa scratched his chin, his curiosity for the mysterious righteous girl was piqued.
“One day I tried to make her give in” Jongho chipped in from the dark purple smoke bed, even pushing himself on his elbows to look at the others, to Seonghwa’s surprise. “Made her miss the train and the bus she needed to take to get home after work and conveniently laid a juicy wallet stuffed full of even juicier bills in the gutter. All she had to do was to bend down and get the money to take a taxi to her apartment. But instead she took the money and walked to the police station to report the lost wallet, which was in the opposite direction by the way and then walked back home only to take a shower and leave right after to attend the charity soup kitchen. Anddd… Explaining this made me tired. Please don't talk to me for the next two hundred years, thank you.” Jongho concluded in one single breath before laying back down and turning on his side to nap comfortably.
“Maybe that one can be interesting after all” Seonghwa thought aloud, his pretty face taking on a pensive frown, his sharp brows joining on his forehead.
“Yeah no kidding” Wooyoung added. “And you don’t know the best part yet…” A perfidious and sly smile pulled on his handsome features. “She was just ordained nun.”
Seonghwa’s face turned serious as his eyes snapped back to Wooyoung. All of a sudden the girl went from distraction of the day to possibly the ultimate challenge of corruption Seonghwa has been waiting for god knows how long (and he surely did not use the expression lightly).
“Don’t mess with me, Envy!” Seonghwa spat, suddenly calling Wooyoung by his biblical name, testifying the gravity of his statement.
“I’m not kidding, Lust” Wooyoung mocked Seonghwa’s serious tone by also using his sin name. “She decided the life of material things wasn’t the way to happiness so she devoted herself to a humbler one, gifting her time and belongings to the poor and destitutes while she devoted her body to God. God only…” Wooyoung said, feigning nonchalance while he snaked an arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Look… Here she is” he purred in his neck.
With a flick of his wrist, green smoke emanated from thin air and formed a pierced circle where in the middle the reflection of a girl could be seen. She was quiet, in the very humble room, a single window shone down onto the bed as she knelt at its side, palms joined, retreated into silent prayers.
She’s perfect.
That was Seonghwa’s first thought as an obscene smirk tugged at his mouth, his tongue swiping across his lips making them shiny and wet. He eyed the girl kneeling by the bed as he lowered his chin, one strand of hair falling over the piercing siren eyes. The black and white uniform she was wearing, the habit, couldn’t fool the seasoned eyes of Seonghwa. All the fabric in the world couldn’t hide away the glorious curves of her body, the beautiful arch of her back leading to the roundness of her bottom gently resting on her heels. The holy swells of her chest softly lifting the thick black material of the habit and the simple wooden cross held by humble twine she was wearing around her neck.
Divine.
Was what described her best.
“She’s stunning,” Seonghwa huffed in a soft murmur, mesmerized and captivated by the image Wooyoung was showing him. And he smirked in victory, relishing on the way he had convinced his peer, once again living up to his name and very nature.
“Yeah I know.” Mingi said, finally turning his face away from his reflection to address Seonghwa. “I thought with such a pretty face she’d be easy to convince that she’s above everyone else and just make her a pretentious too-far-up-her-own-ass bitch. But I quickly realized she was a lost cause” he concluded, shrugging and stepping away from the mirror, sitting down next to Jongho, already fast asleep only to materialize another handheld mirror. seconds later.
“Yes…” Seonghwa spoke softly as he stared intensely at the girl. “She just might do.”
***
You were on cleaning duty at the church today after the mass. Even if the church was quite big it didn’t intimidate you. You settled the two buckets of warm soapy water and your floor cloth before tying your hair up in a rather unaesthetic but very practical hairdo and stretched your shoulders before giving yourself a determined little nod.
You started with scrubbing the ancient cobblestone of the old church with soap and a lot of elbow grease. Then you immediately followed up with dusting the chairs, the altar and the numerous effigies.
You diligently washed, dusted, scrubbed, cleaned, polished, until everything was neat and right. Simply happy and content with the idea of being useful to the community. The rhythmic sounds of your hard bristle brush against the pavements were setting the pace of the silence which helped you connect to the spiritual nature of the ancient place of worship.
But as you were tidying the confessional booth you noticed a small piece of colorful paper peeking from underneath the bench lined with worn burgundy red velvet. When your hands reached under the seat and hazardly caught the object you knew it was a magazine from the glossy feeling of the paper underneath your fingertips and when you finally let your eyes fall on it you realized the nature of the magazine.
Porn. A pornographic magazine.
The cover displayed several nude women adopting very suggestive poses, one of them even dangerously leaning her face towards the intimate parts of another one.
The obscene imagery made your heart race and you started to feel dizzy. You sat yourself on the bench and rested the lewd magazine in your lap. You took a deep breath and, very slowly, parted the red curtains to make sure you were alone in the church. Then you opened the magazine and flipped the cover page.
“Oh my… Look at that! She is flipping the pages!” Yeosang exclaimed.
“Oh she’s definitely curious about it,” Mingi laughed, his lips stretching into a satisfied half smile. But Seonghwa was more cautious, he refused to believe it just yet. Something about your body language was not right.
“Shhh” he shushed the others and motioned for them to keep looking through the green smoke.
As your fingers glided across each page. You felt hot in the face with each scene more obscene than the last one, tension building in your neck.
Seonghwa didn’t lose sight of you for a second, his lips curling on his teeth in a vicious smile as your trembling fingers went over every single page, your wide open eyes darting to every corner of each page. He could almost hear your heart thumping in your chest he could almost taste the adrenaline in your blood.
When you came to the end of it and closed out the magazine you sighed, letting your shoulders drop, closing your eyes in relief.
“Well…” you started “nobody left their name in it” you said to yourself, completely unaware the demons were spying on your every move. Not that you expected that anybody would leave their signature in such a piece of literature but still you had to at least try to find the rightful owner before taking actions.
A loud complaint erupted from the demons. All in disbelief. You looked at the magazine, true. But it was not for an impure purpose. It was only in the hopes of finding the name of the true owner and hopefully, returning it back to them. You had no interest in the salacious scenes presented in the glossy pages. The rushing blood to your cheeks wasn’t due to any feeling of arousal or libidinousness. It was only the shame of invading someone’s privacy.
Once again your intentions were completely commendable. Immaculate.
As the demons protested and complained, Seonghwa, on the other hand, stayed completely silent as he watched you bring the magazine to a trash bin without an ounce of regret. He wasn’t disappointed, he was excited. He felt excitement. A feeling so distant and faded that it felt foreign. Seonghwa had forgotten all about this thrill. He didn’t remember how tingles tickled the tip of his cold fingers or how his guts swirled around in frenzy. This feeling was joy. Pure joy. Sweet intoxicating euphoria. And it was all thanks to you.
“I’m gonna have so much fun with you” he whispered to you, as if you could hear him, his eyes glued to the reflection in the pierced circle of deep green smoke, he whispered to the image of the unsuspecting girl discarding the impure magazine. A paltry, too poor of a stratagem to have you yield to the darkness. You, the pious and saintly nun.
***
You never really liked cooking, before you joined the covenant your sister was always the one in the kitchen preparing delicious home cooked meals for the family. But what you did like on the other hand was helping. Usually you cleaned up the kitchen but when your sister was running out of time she would ask you to peel the vegetables or cut them. So naturally cutting the vegetables was not your favorite task around the convent. You liked cleaning and tidying up better. Only because you were more on the active side and you liked how cleaning would make you break up a sweat when the whole monastery needed a dust off but nonetheless what you liked most was to help the community. And knowing the soup you were cooking up with the help of two of your sisters was going to feed everyone was a fulfilling feeling. Well enough to make you happy.
So you were contemplating life cutting off the homegrown zucchinis when Sister Chaeyoung started to giggle. You didn’t pay much attention until Sister Nayeon started to snicker along with her.
You lift your eyes up and the both of them instantly stiffened up and started to act suspicious.
“What are you laughing about you two?” you asked, an amused smile playing on your lips.
“Oh nothing” Nayeon said, hiding something behind her back.
“Come on, I want to laugh too” you said, the smile spreading further on your face, lifting up your cheeks adorably.
You three were the youngest in the convent so you did many duties together, you grew quite close with the girls.
Chaeyoung ripped something from Nayeon’s hand and proudly showed it to you.
“Look at this carrot” she said, puffing an adorable laugh.
It was true the carrot had quite the… interesting shape. First of all it was quite large, abnormally thick for a simple carrot. Homegrown vegetables were never like the perfectly shaped ones you could find at the store and it was definitely the case for this one. It had a slight upward curve and the extremity had a very distinctive shape. It was phallic.
You delicately took the vegetable from the hands of Chaeyoung to examine the orange root closely.
It was almost unnatural how close the resemblance was, like it couldn’t be due to fortuity… The thick tip, the robust and curved upright shaft, the asperities reminiscent of the blood engorged veins, even the small slit at the top… The details were impressive.
“Look look” Mingi exclaimed, nudging Seonghwa in the ribs as he observed you through the green fog. “She looks interested. I think she’s done this time”. He declared self-assured, cocking a single eyebrow. But Seonghwa remained completely silent but a smirk pulled on his lips when he noticed how you were eyeing the forbidden vegetable (no pun intended), how your throat seemed to thickly swallow and how your lip slightly trembled.
It felt so empowering, finally getting to chip away at your strong willed spirit, finally getting lust to creep under your skin. For these long seconds of contemplation, Seonghwa could only imagine the wicked places your mind raced to. But right when he was about to open his mouth and declare victory. You laughed.
Seonghwa’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as this laugh ripped through him, like a dagger through the skin.
You laughed so openly, your head hung back, eyes creased. The laugh was like the rest of you, joyful, clear and pure.
You are only amused by such a coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course it was funny and you were never the stuck up kind and it felt right to have a bit of lighthearted fun with your younger sisters.
“I guess she’s only laughing at your stupid tricks,” Wooyoung said, his sly smirk mocking Seonghwa’s failure.
“Fuck off Wooyoung” Seonghwa spat as he watched the scene unfold.
The three of you just laughed, enjoying this bonding moment together while the stricter, older sisters and the Mother Superior weren’t there to dim down your childish and silly amusement. It was just some playful, innocent humor to you.
Nothing to shake your faith or virtue.
“Now let’s finish up the soup, girls” you said, setting the amusing carrot on the cutting board. Before chopping it up and tossing the pieces in the big pot.
“Maybe we should have kept it” Chaeyoung whispered with pouty lips. “It could have been useful.”
“Don’t be silly,” you replied with a smile.
Seonghwa felt anger bubbling up in his stomach and rushing through his veins to burn down his chest and neck. As much as he hated to admit it… Wooyoung was right, these stupid tricks were no match for the unwavering righteousness of your mind. These would certainly suffice if it was any other soul but not yours. Not you.
So Seonghwa resolved to resort to drastic measures. Something he hasn’t done for centuries. But something necessary. This anger he felt, the deception upon failing once again. He hadn’t felt that in so long, he felt alive finally. It was ironic how an immortal soul would forget how to feel alive for the simple reason that nothing is a threat to their existence. Their presence is immutable, infinite, certain. Therefore unexciting, monotonous and lifeless.
The negative feelings reminded Seonghwa of a purpose he once had, they reminded him of the stakes that used to be. In a way you reminded Seonghwa what it felt like to feel. You reminded him what it meant to be alive. Him, the unholy and vile Sin of Lust.
***
“You cannot be serious,” Hongjoong exclaimed, rubbing the deep crease between his eyebrows, this conversation was starting to give the Guardian of the Gate a headache.
“I am most certainly serious,” Seonghwa assured. “Now is the best time.”
“Why?” Hongjoong asked. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you through unless you give me a solid explanation.”
“Come on Joongie~” Seonghwa said innocently smiling at him leaning on the smaller man in front of him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tilting his head adorably. “You and I go way back, right?”
“Your ways have no power against me, Lust. You know that.” Hongjoong just looked at him scornfully. “Now if you don’t tell me your plan I’ll shut the gates for the next century.”
“What has this place come to? We used to be able to go and play with humans all day and not get questioned,'' Seonghwa complained, throwing his hands in the air and slipping away from Hongjoong. But the latter didn’t budge. “Fine” Seonghwa spat.
“You see my dear friend, today she’s ovulating. Her body is most likely to respond to the primitive instinct of the survival of the species. Meaning that her spirit is most likely to be weaker.” Seonghwa explained his reasoning.
“But how do you plan on actually interacting with her? You know you won’t be able to have physical contact, you'll go through her like a ghost. Unless she summons you. And I don’t see how or even why she would call your name three times” Wooyoung pointed out, as he was watching the feud from afar.
“I know that I’m not stupid” Seonghwa said with an eyeroll and a sigh. “I won’t need to touch her to break her” he assured.
“But how if she can’t even see you?” Hongjoong yelled, ready to pluck the hair out of his head. Seonghwa was about to become the Guardian's breaking point.
“Hey relax, okay” Seonghwa said, slipping behind the man and gently pinching the muscles of his shoulders. “You are starting to look like San.”
“What did you say about me? “ San yelled from across the empty space, interrupting his card game with Yunho.
“Just play” Yunho instructed with a monotonous fed up tone, pointing his chin towards the deck of cards.
“This game is stupid anyways!!” San screamed before flipping the table over in a loud grunt as the cards flew everywhere, floating gracefully to the ground. Yunho sighed deeply.
“He always does this…” he whispered to himself, getting off the chair and walking to Hongjoong and Seonghwa as Jongho was peacefully snoring close by.
“How can he sleep through this?” Yeosang looked at Jongho in disbelief, as he was stuffing more cheesecake into his mouth. Yunho scoffed.
“How can you eat through this?” Yunho underlined and Yeosang just shrugged before smiling with his mouth still full, earning disgusted grunts and complaints from the others.
“Can we focus for one minute here?” Hongjoong interrupted, desperately trying to get back on track. “How are you going to corrupt her if she can’t see you?”
“Oh but she will see me” Seonghwa smirked.
“Not in the monastery she won’t, not on sacred ground” Wooyoung mocked his overly confident tone.
“It’s true, you know” Yunho chipped in, putting his large palm on Seonghwa’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m about to say that but… I think you’re being greedy” Yunho concluded, as Seonghwa whipped his head to him.
“Wow… That’s so out of character for you.”
“Well that should speak volumes about the foolishness of your plan” Yunho shrugged, taking his hand back.
“It’s not foolish because she will see me. For the simple reason that she will invite me in” Seonghwa’s smirk grew wider as silence settled in the unholy space between hell and earth. Wooyoung laughed hysterically, holding his ribs as he wiped off a tear in the corner of his eyes.
“And how will you manage that?” Hongjoong asked with a raised, unimpressed eyebrow.
Just then a chiming sound could be heard in the emptiness. Seonghwa fished out of his pocket a small human device. All in the room looked incredulous As Seonghwa smirked at the small screen illuminating his pretty face.
“Since when did you-” Hongjoong started but Seonghwa simply brought his long pointer finger to his lips and shushed him.
“She’s waiting for me”
***
“A disaster” Mother superior exclaimed as she threw her arms at her side, looking at the flooded basement. “We cannot go to the retreat and leave until the problem is fixed. The humidity can damage the foundations of the monastery. “I’ll stay and sort it out.”
The sisters all let out frustrated sighs.
“You should go Mother” you stepped in. “The sisters need you at the retreat as well as the faithful… I’ll stay and get things in order. You can count on me” you said with a determined nod and a smile, tightly holding the wooden cross on your chest.
As much as you wanted to go. Someone needed to stay, that much was undeniable and the wisdom of the Mother Superior was needed at Lourdes. So it wasn’t without a little sting at the heart that you waved goodbye to a bus full of your friends, your sisters.
You went back in and sighed at the mess. The ancient timber beams were slowly soaking up the stagnant water, the old stones of the walls were being eroded and the humidity was not good news for the cheeses you were maturing, not even mentioning the ruined mushrooms you were about to harvest before the disaster. Of course the boiler was old and rustic but Mother Superior always made sure it was checked annually and repaired when it was needed before any damage could be done. But even the most diligent measures sometimes can’t prevent the unforeseeable hazards of life.
You went back up and searched for a plumber in the local newspaper. Luckily there was an ad for one that was living in town.
Park, plumbing/heating engineering at your service, the flashy ad read.
You looked at the time, it was late afternoon, probably a little too late to take up a new job, but you figured there was still hope he could at least pick up the phone and maybe appoint a day to come have a look at the leakage. You didn’t waste anymore time and dialed the phone number in the ancient and only phone located in the Mother Superior’s office.
As the tone rang you suddenly got nervous. Ever since you joined the convent you didn’t interact much with the outside world except the followers coming to church or the people you were helping. So this upcoming conversation was making you agitated.
“Hello, Park, plumbing and heating engineer, how can I help you?” You are surprised by the voice at the end of the line. You never expected such a smooth, melodic voice to pick up the phone.
“H-Hi! I’m Sister y/n from the Monastery of the Sacred Mission, our basement flooded, we think the boiler possibly needs to be replaced. Is it possible for you to come take a look?”
“Oh! Sorry to hear that. I’m guessing much damage has been done…” his concerned tone somewhat eased your nerves.
“Unfortunately yes”
“I see… I can come right now”
“Really?” you blinked your eyes twice in surprise. “Well that would be marvelous” you said cheerfully “but wouldn’t you be working past hours? I fear there’s quite a lot of work” you ask concerned.
“It’s okay. You help others so much. Now it’s my time to help you” his tone changed, a subtle switch you can’t put into words but the difference sent a shiver down your spine.
“Thank you”
***
“Thank you so much for coming this quickly” you thanked the man as he stood in the impressive frame of the heavy convent door.
You took a step aside to let him in but he just stood before the front steps not moving an inch. You threw him a puzzled look but he just stared back blankly at you. There was a moment of hesitation on his behalf that left you quite perplexed.
“Please come in” you hesitantly said while amicably smiling at the man.
“Thank you” he simply responded, almost sounding relieved.
As soon as he stepped foot in the door frame you felt a cold breeze run on your neck under the habit and shivers run down your spine. Autumn was indeed well advanced now but such cold winds were usually never felt before winter. Of course, you made little of a simple gust of wind.
“Hi. I’m Sister y/n. Nice to meet you” you stuck your hand out to him. He looked down at it and fumbled with the tool boxes but opted for a polite nod instead of a handshake.
“Sorry, I’ve been working all day and my hands are dirty” he laughed nervously “and the name is Seonghwa” he flashed the brightest smile you have ever seen. For a second your heart skipped a beat and a foreign feeling blossomed in your chest. You never expected this unknown plumber to be this handsome.
He had long and shiny raven black hair perfectly framing his face and just as healthy thick eyebrows complimenting the dark, round and benevolent eyes, reminiscent of boba pearls. A long elegant neck, a defined jawline, high cheekbones and tanned olive glossy skin.
His body was cladded in an unbuttoned navy blue overall that let peek out a simple white t-shirt underneath. You could tell the outfit had undergone various difficult jobs as the fabric was thinned out at his knees and had various stains of paints and plaster.
He looked like a kind man. Like the kind of person you would give communion to without confession. The kind of person that just has a good heart. It was that kind of reassuring and warm aura that you felt from him, something that put you at ease right away.
You led him to the faulty boiler.
Right away he got on one knee and started to inspect the recalcitrant piece of machinery.
“Well I’ll leave you to work on your own” you said as you retreated to take your leave. Seonghwa only politely nodded and smiled in your direction before turning his attention back to the problem.
While the plumber was working you put your time to good use and organized the paperwork of the Mother superior. Doing such work was always tedious for her because she wasn’t exactly the organized kind of woman but you were. You knew doing that you would be of great help. Since the task was quite large, it took quite a long time and it’s only when your stomach emitted a loud grumble that you realized the evening was well advanced.
You figured Mr. Park was hungry or at the very least thirsty after working for so long. So you grabbed a metal tray and brought him a set of the specialty sugar cookies the convent was selling along with a generous serving of cold water embellished with a dash of freshly squeezed lemon juice to make sure Mr. Park’s thirst would be thoroughly quenched.
When you passed the archway that was leading to the boiler room your heart nearly stopped beating when your eyes met the working man.
Swiftly you spinned on your feet and hid behind the wall, only peeking an eye out the corner to still be able to witness the novel scene taking place in front of you.
Seonghwa had tightened the sleeves of his blue overalls around his waist and was wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, clearly the labor was not restful. You couldn’t tell if it was from sweat or from the leaking water but his white t-shirt was wet and sticking to his skin, making the fabric lightly translucid. You could guess the dark pinkish color of his nipples and the outline of his well built body underneath. The short sleeves of his t-shirt were rolled up and were tightly hugging his arms while his long fingers were wrapped around a wrench as each twist of his wrist was making the veins of his forearm bulge out.
You loudly gulped down a lump in your throat. Your hands tightly held onto the tray in fear of letting it fall to your feet.
But your misery was far from over because before you could realize it Seonghwa was pulling on his shirt and passing it over his head. Every muscle of his back moving around, contracting and relaxing in a beautiful dance, shining under the golden hour sun seeping through the small single window of the basement. Water and sweat was running down his back and at his flanks, when he turned around, your eyes dashed around his naked upper body. You couldn’t decide where to settle them. His collarbones, his pecs, his abs, the dent at the sides of his abdomen, his (very) low resting overalls…
Your heart was about to give out. You had seen male bodies before, never in real life that was true but you did once or twice on TV or on billboard ads of men’s underwear.
But, never, you felt something like that. That feeling. This tingly feeling budding in the low pit of your stomach, making your guts stir around, making your palms sweaty, making your heart helplessly hammer against your ribs, making your eyes widen as you couldn’t peel them off the naked wet skin of the handsome stranger. This feeling of immoral interest for another person’s body, this longing for somebody else’s touch.
This feeling of Lust.
It was completely foreign to you.
If it wasn’t for Seonghwa you would have chugged the whole carafe of lemony water by yourself because you never felt your throat as dry as it felt right now.
“Look! Look!” San shouted, wrapping a strong hand around Wooyoung’s forearm and making him wince in pain as they both stared at you through the green smoke. “Y/n is giving in!”
“Look at the way she’s staring at him!” Yeosang said, briefly reaching for a napkin to wipe his mouth.
“Wow” Yunho added “She definitely isn’t thinking about church-appropriate things”. Yunho laughed but Mingi scoffed.
“If she likes him, wait till I show my human form. I’m infinitely more good looking than him”
“Not everything’s about you, Mingi” Yunho scolded him.
With trembling hands you settled the metal tray onto the window sill. You poured a glass of water and presented it to Seonghwa.
“Here” you unexpectedly manage to keep your voice calm and steady. “I figured you might be thirsty or hungry.”
“Oh thanks” he said, wrapping his hand around the glass, carefully avoiding touching your hand in the process, probably trying not to get sweat and dirt smeared on you. “I just got done actually”
“Oh wonderful” you exclaimed, maybe a little louder than expected. Maybe eager to get rid of that immoral feeling that was awakened by his presence. Seonghwa cocked an eyebrow and gave you a puzzled look at the unexpected outburst of joy.
“Why? Are you impatient to throw me out?” he smirked, pushing his long and soaked hair back as he took a step closer, doe eyes narrowing, becoming sharp. You did your best to lock your eyes with his, not to let them wander down his still half naked body. Seonghwa didn’t make any effort to cover himself. Your heart seemed to be trying to break through your rib cage to get a chance to beat closer to Seonghwa’s chest.
“No, it’s just that…” you took a step back “you have been working for so long you must be wanting to go back to the comfort of your home” you quickly get back on your feet before smiling politely at him, trying to conceal your uneasiness.
“Why?” he asked tit for tat, taking a step closer again, siren eyes bored deep into yours, trying to lull you in. “No one is waiting for me at home.”
Seonghwa heard the faintest little gasp escape your lips and he knew you were shaken. You, the unwavering nun, the faithful saint. You were at last considering him. Contemplating giving in to the primal and lowly instinct of desire.
Seonghwa sensed it. He saw it in the way you hurriedly licked your dry bottom lip, he saw it in the way your eyes darted between his lips and his eyes, he saw it in the way you stopped backing away from him.
You, y/n, you were giving in to pure sensual need. No love, no sentiment involved. Only desire to feel a complete stranger’s body against yours, only pure, untainted lust.
If only he could touch you. If only he could, it would be so much easier to help you gently fall into the welcoming and serene arms of corruption. But he couldn’t and that was making the whole experiment that much more exciting. He had to use deceit and trickery. Like a siren numbing your mind with a beautiful song.
But if you gave the slightest hint of submitting, if you let your guard down and let him into your heart then he would have won and that was all that mattered. If you tilted your head and you puckered up your lips to kiss him, if you took a step towards him to press your body against his, if your lifted your hand to feel his wet, glistening skin under your fingers, if you did anything to welcome the unholy desire, if you opened yourself to lust, then touching you would have been unnecessary because Seonghwa would have won and you and God would have lost.
And victory was oh so close. So close when he was as near to you as he could. So close when he slowly approached his face to yours. So close when your heart was pumping scorching hot blood through your veins, so close when your mouth started to water, so close when your lips started to quiver, so close when your eyelid started to flutter but…
Again, you stepped back.
“WHAT?!” San shouted.
“No way!!” Yeosang added, staring at your unsuspecting reflection in the green smoke.
Seonghwa’s shoulder dropped along with the satisfied little smirk.
“Thank you for fixing the boiler this quickly, Mr Park” you said, averting your eyes, finally breaking the spell he had casted on you and peeling your eyes off him.
Seonghwa had cried victory too soon. He had counted the chicken eggs before they hatched, he had put the cart before the horse. In other words… he had underestimated you.
He underestimated your will, your faith and your unwavering sense of righteousness. The other Sins had warned him though but he didn’t listen. They told him it was impossible to bend you. All of them had tried before and none succeeded so it was undeniable now that Seonghwa was just going to join them in failure.
“Don’t worry about it” he smiled at you, disappointment peeking behind his shiny brown orbs.
Seonghwa had accepted defeat when you led him back to the door of the convent. He walked away but turned around half way only to see your still body standing straight in the doorframe, perfectly incarnating your strong, unbending mind.
You only politely smiled when you pushed the big heavy door with difficulty, finally closing it in with a loud thud.
“Fuck… I guess Seonghwa failed too…” Yunho stated as he watched you close the door. But Wooyoung looked at you with a knowing grin.
“I’m not so sure…” he said as the smirk tugged further at his lips.
***
When you finally escaped Seonghwa’s taunting eyes, you leaned your back on the sturdy door, your spirit drained, your mind exhausted. You closed your eyes to catch a breath but the only thing you could see was the working man’s godlike figure carved onto your retinas, the translucent white t-shirt clinging to his golden skin, the sweat dripping down his temples and wetting the beautiful long strands of black hair, the bulging veins of his forearms and the dents engraved at both side of his lower stomach. And the more you thought about it, the quicker your breathing got.
You were all alone here… Your sisters and Mother superior were all gone. What wrong could it cause if you gave in just this once? Not that much, right?…. Just this once.
With big strides you walked to the kitchen and handpicked a nicely shaped carrot, almost regretting not listening to Chaeyoung and keeping that other one.
But this one was going to do the trick. It was not too thick and just long enough to help you carry out your shameful business but not too big to actually taint you and strip you of the precious veil of chastity that you managed to keep intact all of these years.
You climbed up the stairs with haste, avoiding the marble eyes of the holy figures represented in the halls only to take refuge in your bedroom.
You slipped out of your shoes and laid on your bed. You didn’t even bother taking the habit off, it wasn’t going to take long anyway, you simply pulled it up.
When you slid off the white panties you realized how soaked you were. You couldn’t believe it. Your whole life you’ve never felt this way, the feeling was overwhelming and needed to be dealt with immediately. Yes, that was what you were doing simply ridding yourself of an impure feeling!
You whipped out the orange root and clumsily rubbed the thinner tip on yourself. The cold sensation took you aback and pulled a small gasp from your lips.
You coated the root with your juices and then you aimed it at your entrance. You slid the carrot inside, it was too thin to hurt in any way but it was well long enough. When you reached the bottom of yourself you couldn’t help but to let out a satisfied grunt at the sensation of the vegetable rubbing against your sensitive spot.
You pulled it back out and slid it back in, this time a little faster. Heat gained over your body as your eyes fluttered close and you recalled the unfairly handsome and devilishly sexy working man.
The muscles of his back, his long slender neck, his collarbones, his beautiful sun kissed skin.
“Aaah” you sigh. “Seonghwa” his name rolled off your tongue so naturally, almost like it was meant to be said like this.
His long and dark wet hair, his plush lips getting close to yours, his warm breath fanning your face.
“Seonghwa” you moaned again, more high pitched this time as your wrist was getting more and more reckless, each time deliciously scrubbing your walls in divine and forbidden pleasure.
The way he looked at you, the way his dark eyes were filled with the same desire you had for him. The way they spoke volumes about the sinful things he wanted to do to you. And God… did you almost let him have his way with you.
You started to clench around the root, each time you pulled it out your walls were eagerly gripping on it, refusing to let it go, so you smashed it back in with force to grant their wish. Your walls quivered around the vegetable, a foreign and unknown euphoria was taking over you and you knew you were done for.
“I’m… ngh… c-cumming” you whispered to yourself as you felt the tightness in your core reach a brand new level. “Seonghwa” you cried out one more time, being only a few back-and-forths away from your sweet release but alas you couldn’t pull it through.
Because without knowing, without realizing, completely unsuspecting, you called his name. You called his name three times. You summoned him.
Purple smoke started to erupt from the corner of the small dimly lit room by the late evening sun. With terror you ripped the vegetable out before you could finish and covered your modesty with the habit you were still wearing.
From the smoke appeared slick black leather chelsea boots resting under a pair of anthracite gray dress pants coated with a shiny silverish finish. As the smoke got thinner you could distinguish a matching cropped blazer with an asymmetrical and deconstructed silver vest underneath that was held together by one single button right under his neck, you could see the soft and glistening golden skin underneath. And finally when the smoke was completely gone you saw his face. The sharp features and the slender slithering body reminiscent of the one of a serpent, eyes just as sharp and presence just as menacing. A face you hadn't known for long but couldn't forget. Seonghwa’s face.
But he looked different. His long bangs weren’t framing his face anymore, instead he had tied the long wavy strands in a high half bun. His aura was also different from when he was wearing the blue and spotted overalls. Now cladded in the revealing ensemble he looked expensive, confident and sensual.
Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when your mind finally wrapped around the information your eyes were transmitting.
“Well well…” Seonghwa stepped closer while you jolted yourself up the bed, your body cornered between the headboard and the wall.
“What are you?” you whispered with trembling lips, heart pounding, adrenaline rushing through your veins, ready to flee if need be.
Seonghwa looked at you, puzzled for a second. Then he laughed, head tilting back. The laugh made the hair in your nape stand. It was unnatural, cold and fundamentally evil.
“Me?” he asked. Right then you felt your body being magically lifted from the soft mattress. You shrieked again, utterly confused while Seonghwa’s magic slammed you against the bare walls of the humble bedroom, the tip of your toes barely scraping the worn out wooden floor.
“Oh my, please pardon my awful manners,” he said in an overly polite tone. “I’m Seonghwa, Cardinal Sin of Lust” he said, bowing respectfully, elegantly bringing his right hand on his chest in a princely manner. “But for you, love…” Seonghwa stepped towards you, taking his time to look at you. He leaned on your ear to whisper.
“I’m a dream come true” his voice was deep, sultry, self-assured. Everything you’d imagine it to be.
A faint gasp escaped your lips as you felt his warm breath on your neck.
You wanted to scream to all heavens, you had brought a demon into the convent. You had desecrated the sacred ground of this place of worship, your home. You led the wolf to the sheeps. But you couldn’t scream, you couldn’t even if your life depended on it.
“W-what do you want?” you managed to push the few words past your teeth. Your voice, perfect opposite of the one of the demon: muted and trembling.
“Just want to finish my business with you” his face stayed right where it was, nestled in the crook of your neck. Lips so close you could feel the heat radiating from them but somehow they were still too far, unable to touch you.
“What business?” you whimpered.
“Darling.” Seonghwa clicked his tongue and shook his head in disapproval. “There’s no point in fighting anymore. Stop playing dumb with me. I know you’re a smart girl.” He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of your shampoo. “I already won, darling… that very second you decided to give in to the thought of me. That second you closed the big heavy door and thought you escaped my eyes. That very second I had won.” A wicked smirk pulled on his lips. But his words didn’t make any sense to you.
This languish was torture, this state of expectation, of suspense. This proximity. You wished it would just stop. Be it touching you for good or get away finally. Just as if he read your mind he got even closer. Now it wasn’t only his lips taunting the thin skin of your neck, it was his whole body, hovering over yours; but still… Not touching you.
“Sure winning felt good. But you know what feels even better, darling?” You couldn’t bring yourself to formulate words and only whimpered in response.
“I asked you a question, sweetheart” he grinned, relishing on your anguish, placing both of his palms at both sides of your face, trapping your frail figure between his arms and the wall.
“It’s to finally touch you.”
So he finally let himself take a deep dive into you. The plush warm lips crash onto your neck, giving wet sloppy open mouth kisses while you couldn’t help but to tilt your head back giving him more access.
“What a good girl you are” he purred, not taking the time to part his lips from you.
His left hand went to your chin and turned it to make you face him, without much hesitation he planted a wet kiss on your lips, your cute whimpers and gasps were the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss.
The kiss got heated as Seonghwa pried your hesitant mouth open with his long thumb and pushed his tongue inside to breach your lips. His delicious taste spread through your mouth, making your head dizzy. He tasted like candy, like you just took a bite of the juiciest strawberry. Ripe, just in season, absolutely delicious.
You moaned into his mouth and he smirked as his grip around your chin got tighter, he lifted his knee to part your legs and his thigh rubbed against your center through the habit. You couldn’t help but to moan louder, the unsolicited pleasurable friction made you incapable of reciprocating the kiss, your dangling feet nervously giving small kicks in the air.
Seonghwa finally parted from you, allowing you to catch your breath. But he was far from done with you.
“I know you long for more than this, angel” he whistled while his hand went up your thigh, still clothed with the thick black fabric of the habit. “I know you languish for pleasure” his blunt nails went up your arm and you realized you were still holding onto the carrot. He ripped the root from your hand.
“You won’t need this anymore” he said before smashing the poor vegetable on the ground sending millions of orange pieces flying across the room, you flinched once more at the demonstration of strength.
“Mine is much bigger than this. But don’t worry, love, I’ll make you nice and ready for me” he purred before placing both of his strong hands on the habit and just like that with astonishing ease he rips through the black gown. But not only, everything covering you is ripped in two and that also goes for your bra that fell to the ground. With the deafening sound of the fabric ripping you found yourself completely naked in front of the demon apart from the veil on your hair and the rosary beads laying on your chest.
You flinched and your hands flew to cover your nude frame but Seonghwa once again laughed and you felt an irresistible magical force pin your wrists at each side of your face. You sniveled and squirmed trying your hardest to go against the invisible force to hide away from the avid eyes of the demon.
“How cute.” The demon snickered when you failed to fight back. “Sweetheart, you don’t get to hide anything when you look this good” he said in a breath, eyes darting over your naked figure. From your dangling feet, to your thighs tightly pressed together, to your flushed face and to the Rosary beads sitting between your gorgeous breasts, swaying every time you kept trying to break away from the spell pinning you against the wall.
He brought a cold hand to the side of your breast, you couldn’t help but to moan as you felt his soft hand against you, his finger suddenly pinching your sensitive and hardened nipples. You let out a high pitched whimper.
“So sensitive” Seonghwa mocked you before he flicked the sensitive bud. Then he lifted his hand to harshly slap against the innocent lump of flesh, you jumped in surprise at the sensation. The surprise didn’t lie in the sudden surge of pain but rather from the enjoyment you got out of it, the sting sending electricity down your spine to light up your core.
With another faint movement of the head Seonghwa made you open your legs widely. You whimpered and felt tears build up in the corners of your eyes when he finally laid eyes on your most private part. And you realized with dread how wet you were. Soaked. Juices streaming down to your inner thighs making them glisten under his persistent gaze.
“Fuck, sweetheart” he exhaled out one heavy breath. “You got this fucking wet for me?” he said as he crouched down, inching his face dangerously close to your exposed center.
Embarrassment and shame reached an unbearable level, tears finally spilled out of your eyes, wetting your cheeks as you squirmed, trying your best to escape Seonghwa’s spell.
“So here’s the little hole I’m going to split in two” he said as his breath brushed over your wet folds.
You squirmed even harder, somehow feeling Seonghwa’s spell loosen around your wrists and ankles. But when he aimed his pointer finger right on your swollen bundle of nerves, earning a loud scream from you, the sudden pleasure from the perfect amount of pressure he applied on you made you completely immobile. Torn between the need for more of the foreign forbidden joy but also the fear and shame of letting the demon have his way with you, tainting you, taking away your most precious possession: your purity.
“What? Are you not fighting me off anymore?” He started to draw small circles on your bud. Your wetness made it easy for his finger to glide across the small and stiff nub. You moaned a little louder and he started going faster.
“Does it feel good, angel?” his voice went down an octave as pleasure got to your head, making the room spin, luckily you don’t have to stand on your legs.
Seonghwa went even faster when you didn’t reply.
“I said, does it feel good?” his tone was as harsh as his restless teasing of your clit. Hellish circles sending blazing heat to your whole body as you felt the pleasure rising in the deepest part of your core, your walls quivering on themselves.
But Seonghwa slowed down at the worst moment, a wicked smirk pulling on his plump lips, narrowing his piercing siren eyes.
“Good little sluts should answer when asked a question.” His pace was now just fast enough to keep you at your limit, each spasm of your core, testifying of the agonizing muted pleasure he was inflicting on you.
“Answer!” he ordered while he delightfully pressed on your painfully sensitive bundle of nerves.
“YES!! Yes it feels good” you blurted out, panting, sweat pearling between your breasts, giving in to the pressure.
“Good girl” he praised as he finally lifted his hand from your sensitive parts. You sighed in both relief of finally being let off the hook but also in frustration at the displeasing feeling of his denial.
But before you could celebrate or pester he pushed that very same finger inside you. You didn’t know by what ungodly miracle he managed to aim straight at your sensitive spot, but he did, applying divine pressure deep inside you. Your eyes instantly rolled to the back of your head as you felt the will of fighting off slipping through your fingers.
Seonghwa chuckled at your reaction, he was enjoying himself very much. After centuries of boredom he intended to savor every second of your agony.
“Darling, you really are hungry for my fingers, aren’t you? Your slutty little cunt is gripping so tightly” he chuckled again while he pulled his finger back. You hated how right he was. You hated how you felt your walls clench around him, how you felt your own body crave for more of him as soon as his finger slipped out.
But the yearning didn’t last long because he pushed past your entrance again, this time fitting two fingers inside you, taking the time to gently stretch you until his blunt nails reached as deeply as they could.
You let out a moan through gritted teeth, the pleasure making beads of sweat pearl at the sides of your face.
“Fuck! Your virgin little pussy just loves to be stretched out like this, doesn’t it?” He leaned even closer to your sopping center.
Tears continued to run down your cheeks as pleasure rose again. Seonghwa picked up the pace, stretching your walls so deliciously, pumping his two fingers in and out of you, each time he pulled out he ripped a moan out of you. Again, you started to twitch around his fingers and he smirked down on you. Pleasure continuously grew as you made this silent prayer that he would finally take you over the edge, over the barrier of this beautiful and forbidden land that you stayed away from all these years.
But again he slowed down and came to a stop. This time tears of pure frustration ran down your cheeks as you pathetically bucked your hips up trying to fight against Seonghwa’s spell pinning you down the wall.
“Aww.” He cooed in a mocking tone. “Darling, I’m sorry… were you about to cum?” He said while you shot him a death glare. He chuckled at your reddened cheeks and your frowned brows.
His finger swiped across your fold, pressing on the lonely bud once and you instantly dropped the angered look, your eyes drooped at the sensation and you couldn’t help but to grind against him, your womanliness made so eager by his touches.
“Fuck, look at you” he slipped one finger back inside, pumping it very slowly in and out. You bit down on your lip. “Acting so fucking distant only a few minutes ago…” he added a second one as you moaned out in bliss. “When in fact you were craving this… craving me…” he fitted a third one inside your already crowded heat as your moans now mixed with confused sobs. The intense feeling of pain and pleasure blending into a dangerous cocktail.
“Fuckkk” you cursed out, allowing yourself another sin you managed to avoid up until now, which has the demon showing more teeth.
“What a good little slut taking all of my fingers so good” he said as he took his time thoroughly stretching you out, his blunt nails pushing against your sensitive spot, while his face was closing in the distance with your intimate parts. Your eyes fluttered close as the muscles in your neck gave out and you let your head hang back on the wall.
“Look at me” Seonghwa grunted and your eyes snapped back open instantly meeting his dark ones, his irises seemed to go black with perversion.
“Now I’m gonna make you cum” He announced as he picked up the pace once more, you can tell he didn’t intend to stop before it was over. “I want you to never forget this. This feeling you’re about to experience.” His wrist took on a punishing pace as your eyes were locked with his. Pleasure sending radiating heat through your body, chest heaving up and down as you moan out loudly with your jaw hanging open. “Every time you’ll think of me I curse you to feel exactly… like… this”
Seonghwa finally wrapped his mouth around your lonely and eager little clit, flicking his tongue on it as his fingers relentlessly punched your g spot, both sources of pleasure go to your head and your first orgasm finally drops over you like a wave, taking you away with its raging current.
Your cum squirts out of your body, water like fluid rushing out of you and filling Seonghwa’s mouth, drenching his neck and exposed chest in the asymmetrical silver vest. He moaned, lips against yours and sending delicious vibrations into you.
You screamed out as the level of pleasure ripped through you, your walls clenching around Seonghwa and twitching uncontrollably as your whole body shook, still magically pinned down to the wall.
When you finally settled down he slowed down and took his fingers out of you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and licking his fingers clean.
“Hmmm” he hummed contentedly and smacked his lips, seemingly enjoying your taste. “It’s true… Good little sluts, like you, taste much better”.
Seonghwa cut the spell and stood back up, your exhausted body dropping to the floor, your weakened legs unable to support your weight.
Seonghwa had enough of this teasing and had grown impatient. He brushed back the cum-soaked locks of charcoal black hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks, the wet skin of his chest glistening under the silver asymmetrical vest. Your eyes trailed down below the belt you gasped as you saw the outline of what was hidden from your eyes all this time… Even still restricted by the fabric of the shiny gray dress pants, the thickness and the length had your heart racing again.
“I want to feel you around me. Now.” he ordered, in a sultry tone that lifted goosebumps all over your naked skin.
Suddenly your body was magically lifted up again but this time Seonghwa threw you on the bed. The veil was barely hanging onto your hair anymore.
Seonghwa walked to you as he took off the cropped blazer along with the rest of his clothes. You gulped down at the sight of his nude and perfectly sculpted body standing beside you. The glistening chest made wet with sweat and cum, dripping down his abs even down to his groin where you barely even dared to look.
There it was. The Absolute Sin.
Seonghwa’s long, thick, twitching, veiny, hard cock.
You could have screamed at the monstrous thing if you weren’t still in a daze from your first crushing orgasm . It was so thick, so long you couldn’t even begin to imagine how this was about to fit inside you.
Seonghwa chuckled when he caught the panic swimming in your wide eyes. He thrived on this fear. And he knew exactly how it was going to go. And he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait to see the very same doe eyes grow heavy with pleasure and look back at him with need when you will inevitably beg him to keep going, to never stop fucking you. Because he broke you once and he intended to do it over and over and over again until you will no longer remember anything but him.
Seonghwa dipped both his knees at your sides, his body weight making yours sink in the soft mattress while he shimmied his way up between your wide open legs.
He rubbed the thick blazing hot tip on your still very sensitive bud while he stared down at the place your two bodies met. You tried not to moan by biting down on your bottom lip.
“Please” you meekly whimpered, his dark eyes shot back to yours.
“Please what?” he slithered between his teeth, smirking.
“Please don’t… do that…” you puffed, as fear crushed your chest. Seonghwa snickered again and brought his hand to very gently and softly brush his thumb over your wet cheeks and lips.
“Darling” his deep voice purred so softly. “You are not under any spell here. You can control this tiny little body of yours. So go ahead” he taunted you as his hand went down from your face to your sensitive nipples. “Go ahead and close your legs.”
What? No… It isn’t possible.
There was no way he was not the one forcing your thighs apart like this. But when you gave it a try, when you attempted to lift your ankle it actually worked. You indeed could move. But… somehow you…. still didn’t.
“Come on show me. Go ahead, pretty” his hand went down again to your stomach. “Close your legs on this poor, aching, desperate….” he flicked his pointer finger on your clit “virgin little pussy”. The sweet sting made you moan out and arch your back instinctively.
Seonghwa waited a few seconds staring down at you with amusement as you didn't move an inch. Your body kept your legs nice and wide for him against your own will.
“You know what?” he took his hand back and you swallowed back a whine and the loss of contact. “Okay, I won’t… if you are still this strong headed after all of this maybe you’re right. You are a pure spirit and I can admit defeat when I have lost.”
The smug look he wore completely gave him away. You knew it was a ruse, a ploy to get to you, to toy with you but you weren’t listening to reason anymore, only your delirious body tortured with vicious need and you just couldn’t risk it. You couldn’t risk him leaving you, not like this.
“NO!” you wailed, extending your hand to him as he was already getting off the bed and on to his feet. “I-…I-… Ok… do it”
Seonghwa’s expression here took a turn. The smug smile was completely wiped off his face, only dark brown and grave eyes looking down on your naked frame.
“Yeah?” he came back to bed and laid over you. He brought his lips close to your ear and he seductively whispered against your neck as your eyes fluttered close. “If you want it, sweetheart. You’ll have to properly beg for it”.
Your eyes snapped open. But Seonghwa only looked dead serious.
“I- I-” you started but Seonghwa lifted his hand to let it slap against your wet cunt. The whacking sound bounced off the bare walls and the stinging pain had you grunting in unsolicited pleasure.
“I said properly. I want to believe you” his voice had nothing of the playful undertone it had a few moments ago. You didn’t think twice, maybe not even at all.
“Please, Seonghwa. I implore you to fuck me. Please fuck and use my slutty virgin cunt as much as you’d like. Please hurt me and rip my virginity away. I want to scream and cry out your name. I want to be yours. I want to forget everything about the good girl I used to be, I want to be your whore. Forget about my soul, just take it with you back to hell.”
Silence fell as a grin played on his lips. It’s not smug or playful, it’s wicked, downright evil.
You were not just begging him. The desperate prose was not just a plea. It was a prayer. You were praying for him to taint you. Begging him to take away your purity like it was nothing but a nuisance to you, discarding it. Seeing you abandon your values and principles was the greatest achievement, a victory so sweet it made Seonghwa lose control. The feeling was intoxicating, blissfully filling his veins and making his evil heart thump. In his infinite existence he had never felt that. And it was all thanks to you.
Suddenly his body was elevated in the air and purple smoke enveloped him again. For a second you were scared that he was actually leaving you but the thought vanished as quick as it appeared when you heard the distinctive shrill sound of the metal scraping against the wall. You looked above your head and you witnessed with dread the crucifix above your bed being slowly turned upside down, engraving the white plaster of the bare walls. The foreboding omen lifted goosebumps off your skin and sent a cold shiver down your spine.
Soon you saw his body peek out as the smoke evaporated. It was still him but he had changed.
Huge wings were open behind his back, covered in raven black lustrous feathers, shining under the moonlight peeking from the window as the dark night was now settled. Two black horns have pierced his skin at each side of his head, pointing upwards, resembling the ones of a spanish bull. His body, somehow, looked even more defined, the muscles of his abs and shoulders seemed to bulge out. He looked strong, ominous, dangerous.
“You have such a way with words” he said as he floated back between your legs and settled his huge cock on your stomach. “Now I’m gonna make all of your wishes come true”. He brushed the tip of his cock, wet with precum, once again on your slick folds. “I've never fucked a mortal in my true form before.” he started, still rubbing against you, the muted pleasure making your brain fuzzy. “I can’t guarantee you’ll come out of this alive”.
But you were already set on it and if you had to die, so be it…
“I don’t care” you whispered as your eyebrows met and you looked back at him with need.
You braced yourself when you felt him finally push himself inside you. You could practically hear your hymen rip in two to make way for his huge cock. The puny little carrot could have never compared to the size of him.
“What a good little slut you are,” he cooed, before grunting as you were gripping around him. “Willing to die for a round of fun on my big cock”.
Sharp throbbing pain ripped through your lower stomach as you frowned and grunted.
“I know…” Seonghwa purred as he leaned over in your ear “I’m big” he said as he finally reached the bottom of you, linking his hips with yours. And he pulled out a lot faster than when he came in. Your eyes rolled back and you crushed the pillow over your mouth to yell in it.
But when he went back in again somehow the ache had lessened and pleasure was slowly taking its place. Soon the pain, as sharp as it was, vanished to become only a vague memory you couldn’t even recall as your mind was too preoccupied by the incommensurable pleasure Seonghwa made you feel.
“Fucking whore” Seonghwa grunted as he mercilessly ramed up your pussy, making it the shape of his cock. “Cheating on God feels good, doesn’t it? Your whorish little cunt can’t resist this fat demon cock, can it?” he growled.
You started twitching once again around him and Seonghwa instantly recognized the familiar clench he felt earlier around his fingers.
“Are you going to cum?” he asked, panting above you.
You couldn’t even process the words you were hearing as your eyes rolled back and your jaw fell open. But you were brought back to your senses when Seonghwa’s big clawed hand slapped your cheek forcefully. The burning pain took you aback and stopped your never ending ascension to pleasure. You whined a complaint and Seonghwa grabbed your face into a strong grip making your lips pout.
“Good little whores have to ask first” he said, still deeply pounding your precious little pussy.
“Pleasepleaseplease… C-can I cum?... F-fuckk… Please” you mumbled as his pace made it hard to hold yourself back.
“No!” he responded sternly. “Not now” he said, smirking evilly. Enjoying this anguish in your eyes as you tried your best to control your body. He brought his hand and pinched hard on your swollen little clit.
“Aaaah” you screamed, arching your back and pressing your head back into the soft mattress.
“You’ll cum when I’ll tell you too” he snickered, looking down at you. And the pleasure kept on building, frustrated tears starting to wet your cheeks again.
“My God please…” you whined, as tears streamed down your face and your pussy clenched around his thick cock. Seonghwa scoffed.
“Sorry but he has left you, darling.” He started to draw circles on your sensitive and aching clit, still maintaining the punishing pace of his cock rearranging your guts, making the rosary beads jump along with your breasts with each powerful thrust. You cry out as it’s becoming nearly impossible to keep yourself from cumming. “He abandoned you to me” he growled, his low voice sending electricity down your core.
“Pleaseeeee” you pleaded once more, desperation oozing out of your broken up voice and finally Seonghwa pronounced the magic words.
“Cum. Cum for me like the godless little whore that you are”
Finally you let go. You let Seonghwa’s skillful hand and monstrous, merciless cock take you down to the hellish pit of lustful sin. Pleasure took over you and clouded your vision, everything came to a blur as you could only concentrate on the throbbing of your cunt around Seonghwa’s thick dick. You moaned out his name in pure agonizing bliss. The orgasm was even longer lasting, even stronger than the one he gave you moments ago. And you knew for a fact now that there was no going back.
The good girl that you were had died, Seonghwa killed her. And you had let him do it without batting an eyelash. But fuck did it feel good. You felt no shame, no regrets, only unholy desire for the demon’s heavenly cock.
Soon the high wore off but Seonghwa didn’t seem to care and kept on pounding you, taking a bruising grip on your parted thighs with both his hands.
“Please” you whimpered again as your poor little pussy might split in two from clenching and throbbing this much right after an earth shattering orgasm. Seonghwa chuckled in between heavy breaths.
“I just came” you cried out, turning into an over-stimulated mess.
“I don’t care” he spat, using you like a fucktoy just like he pleased, after all you had asked him to do so… ‘to fuck and use your slutty virgin cunt as much as he’d like’. The exhausted quivering of your restless pussy started to build up again and before you could even realize it, Seonghwa’s thick cock had you flirting with the edge of the bottomless pleasure pit again.
“Please” you whined “Please stop” you begged him, breast lewdly jumping up and down with each of his brutal thrusts. But he kept on going, growling as his eyebrows met, handsome face contorted in pleasure, biting his lip. Body pressed over yours and full black feathered wings completely concealing you, one of his horns even scraping the wall with one too violent move.
“Pleaseeeee” you whimpered yet again. And suddenly your body was being lifted and flipped over by Seonghwa’s spell. You land on all fours, completely confused but worst of all, completely empty.
“Don’t you get it?” Seonghwa said as he slowly pushed himself back into your soft, warm little throbbing cunt. You moaned as you gladly took him back. “You sold your soul to me. You don’t get to ask for anything anymore. So I’ll fuck you for as long as I see it fit” He said before pushing down on your face, shoving your head into a shamefully submissive position, your ass up in the air, ready to be destroyed by him once more.
His fat cock parted you so deliciously as lewd wet sounds rang to your ears. It was like your once virgin pussy had completely taken the shape of his monstrous dick. Every movement he made ripped a delighted moan out of your lips, you didn’t have the will to fight anymore. You only wanted him and this delectable high he made you feel.
“Fuckkk” you cried out as he started to go faster again, the quiver in your lower stomach making a quick return.
“You’re my thing now.” He ripped the veil of your hair, the last relic of your past self and sent it flying across the room. He grabbed a fistfull of your hair, harshly pulling on it maintaining your face forward but your chin still firmly planted in the mattress, asserting his dominance on your frail figure. “My toy, you hear?” the sting on your scalp added to the full feeling of his cock had you completely fucked out. Your eyes rolled as heat spreaded through you again, your jaw fell open and your tongue slipped out. You were fucked out dumb, completely. Brain nice and thoughtless just from him.
“Yeshhh” you mumbled.
“I’m gonna make you cum again and this time I will fill your dirty little cunt with my cum” The obscene sounds of his balls slapping against your slick folds and clit bounced off the walls.
“Yesshh pwweathe” you replied as your tongue slapped against your chin with each inhuman thrust of his hips deep into you, sending strings of drool on your chin and staining the sheets.
“Today you’re ovulating, you know what it means?”
Your eyes snapped back open.
“I’m gonna force a child into you. You’ll take my seed into your fertile womb and life will sprout inside you” His grip on your hair tightened and you felt him start to twitch inside you.
“You’d like that?” he teases, knowing the answer.
“Yesssshhhhh!!!” you yelled, you were ready for anything if it meant he’d let you cum again.
“Then take it. Take my cum you depraved slut” His second hand left your hips to grab the rosary still around your neck, twisting his wrist to wrap the beads around his fingers and pulling on it while still maintaining his grasp on your hair.
Bloodstream to your brain became restrained and you started to feel dizzy. A deliciously light headed sensation filled your head up as your pussy quivered with a third orgasm. Your hungry cunt squeezed Seonghwa’s thick length as if its life depended on it, demanding every last drop of cum the demon had to offer. You clenched and throbbed around him in pure joyful sin as he took you to the deepest part of this abysmal and cursed pleasure, taking your sanity and everything that was left of the old you to the pits of hell with him.
Seonghwa’s rhythm faltered and he shuddered and grunted in bliss as his throbbing cock gushed out streams after streams of piping hot cum that stained your walls with white, shooting straight up to your womb, assuredly knocking you up in the process.
You yelled and moaned one last time. You were so full of him, belly round and swollen with the ungodly amount of cum Seonghwa gracefully gifted you. You were so unbelievably full that you couldn't help but to let it flow out of you and run down your thighs, no matter how much you clenched to keep it all inside.
You were in heaven. This was pure euphoria. A kind of contentment not any amount of spirituality and virtue could ever give you. The kind of happiness you could only experience when you let go of everything you’ve ever known to throw yourself into the arms of the most pleasurable sin of all.
Lust.
***
The next morning when you woke up at dawn with the chirping birds you felt nauseous and disoriented. You looked around the room and found it immaculate. Your habit was not ripped in two, it was neatly folded on the wooden bedside table along with your veil and underwear. The room was clean and neat: no traces of small pieces of orange carrot anywhere or puddles of cum on the wooden floor. And you were wearing a comfortable full length pyjama gown.
In a flash, disjointed memories came back to you. You remembered the anthracite gray suit, the black bull horns, the raven wings, the defined abs, the devilishly handsome good looks, the tempting smirk and the huge thick angry cock and the immense forbidden pleasure that came along with it.
You sat up and looked behind you hastily, the wall was perfectly smooth, no scrapes of the black horns and most of all the crucifix was perfectly normal, hanging right side up.
You spotted the small, thin, intact carrot next to your pillow and sighed in relief. Yes, you had sinned but you knew if you confessed and prayed hard enough God would forgive you. Afterall, you had never done such a thing and it was shameful and wrong, yes, but they were far greater sins than this one, like selling your soul to the Sin of Lust and bearing his child… You shook your head, chasing away the blurry memory of the nightmare, feeling a weird tingly build up in your lower stomach as you saw flashes of the evil smirks and the huge monstrous-
“It was a dream” you said out loud, sighing, hoping the sound of your own voice would prevent your mind from imagining more of the sinful imagery. “Just a meaningless dream” you told yourself again.
Convinced the soreness between your legs was only due to masturbating for the first time, that the nausea was nothing to worry about and that the spasm inside your belly were benign little cramps.
Seonghwa smirked in victory as he looked at you through the pierced purple smoke. He made it. He broke you beyond repair. He went, won and marked you. And soon he would back to take what you had promised him: an offspring and your soul, body and mind, you.
“See you soon, y/n” he chuckled.
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Do the Thing! | Toilet Repair
logline; Today's itinerary: Fix the toilet, catch up with Syd, try not to cry when everyone asks you where you've been.
series history; Previous Chapter
portion; 7.1k+ (this shit got away from me man, idk what to say)
possible allergies; Negative self-talk (It's the Bear, babe, everyone's sad). I did no research on plumbing and am truly making it the fuck up-- I know for a fact I'm not using any word correctly and I simply will not be fixing it. Reader eats meat!! Specifically pork!! Your 'name' is 100% just Tony now.
pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader (No pronouns, but 'handywoman' and 'Miss' are said. Plus a chest reference).
you ever start writing and you just cannot seem to find an end so you keep going forever? yeah.
“I think my name is just Tony now.”
You sip your overpriced orange juice. You really have to fucking savour it, now a days. That’s like 25 cents a sip, and Syd’s treating you to this breakfast outing, so it’s not even your own wallet on the line here.
“You lose all sense of identity, in a restaurant.” Syd straightens her back, mocking her very own mechanical movements of whenever she steps in a kitchen. “I am Chef.”
This diner isn’t more than two blocks down from The Bear. It was probably your second favourite spot in this neighbourhood. Probably still is. Sitting in the back corner booth (your favourite) with Syd is nice but distracting. She’s been updating you on everything since the catering scene and her botched credit, and you’re absorbing all of it, you swear, it’s just hard to not remember why this was your favourite booth.
Not because it’s seats are the least worn in, not because it’s got the right amount of sun through the window without blinding you, but because of the company you kept here. You’re trying to not notice your own name carved into the table. Especially since it’s not your handiwork.
You laugh at Syd’s joke on time, thank God. No awkward pause. “Yeah, you fuckin’ are. Head, right?”
She nods. “It’s cool. It’s like, vomit-worthy stressful but also…”
“You wish you were dead when you’re there, but you’d rather be dead than do anything else?”
“Yessir.” She nods again, digging further into her pancakes. “I really fucking owe you, by the way.”
“You’re paying me off through breakfast.” You wave her off. “Plus, I was available and it was like maaayybe 5 minutes of manual labour, it’s nothing.”
“Y’know what?” She hums, “I think actually, you owe me.”
“Yeah?” You grin.” Please, let me clear my debts, Syd?”
She smiles, pointing her fork at you. “You owe me the fuckin’ Beef background I’ve apparently not unlocked. Everyone was talking about you after.”
“Good things?”
“Vague things. Shit made me even more curious.”
You laugh. No shit they’d be vague. What can they say? “When my dad was running the repairmen gig, Cicero or Fak would call him in—”
“Oh fuck.” She snaps her fingers, seemingly in realization. “Your dad’s the connection!”
“The connection?”
“Fak said he had a connection for our fire safety test shit, and then said he didn’t—”
“Ah.” You nod knowingly. “Dad cut the cord on his business phone when it transferred to me, didn’t really keep people updated. Whoops.”
She nods, taking another bite of her pancakes, speaking mid-chew. “You could’ve saved our asses way faster, and I’ll-I'll never forgive you, but continue.”
Snickering, you continue, “Well, they’d call my dad in, and then my dad would call me in as his like, like his fuckin’ Sous of Repairs. And shit broke all the time at the Beef, as I’m sure you’re well aware, so I hung out around Mikey and everyone a lot.”
“Ah. N’ then…”
“He fuckin’ died.” You laugh, because there’s no way to say it smooth, so you might as well say it bad. You stretch out your arms and lean back in the booth. “I kinda took a step back, after that, so we didn’t manage to crossover ‘til now. S’ironic that you’re the one that brought me back instead of an oldie, honestly.”
She desperately wants to ask more about Mike, but she can tell now is not the time, so she just lets it lie and moves on. “You stopped being an EMT to take up the handyman shit, then?”
“Yessir.” You nod, finishing your straggling home fries. “Just kinda made sense to trade off, and I didn’t want to see the family bizz die. Do I have to occasionally pick up shifts bartending to make rent during slow months? Yes. But I also don’t watch people die anymore, so that’s a win.”
“In a way, you’re watching people die still, just slowly.”
You bite down hard to stifle any semblance of a smile or laughter, deadpanning, just to see her squirm in awkwardness for a moment. It works with flying colours, of course it does. It’s Syd. She’s still Syd. You speak at the same time.
“Cause of the alcohol?” “Cause—Cause of the alcohol.”
You both break into laughter, she throws her napkin at you. “Can’t stand you, oh my god. Let’s go clock in.”
She pays your bill before you can try to sneak your card in, which feels all too familiar, and you’re off.
Off to fix an exploded toilet.
“How the fuck do you fix an exploded toilet?”
Your hands rub over your face, lifting your safety goggles for a second. Too fucking foggy. Too fucking sweaty. Plumbing never really was your biggest strength. You’re staring at the bane of your existence, and it’s the latrine. How far we fall.
“You good, Cousin?” You hear from behind. You don’t need to turn to know it’s Richie in the doorway. It’s a fair question, you’re sitting criss-cross in front of a toilet, head in hands.
“Yeah, Cousin, I’m good.” Your words are muffled by your hands. Fully not cousins. For the record. You would argue you're not even that close, but he'd slap you upside the head. You turn to look at him over your shoulder. “Can you like, get me a pen and note pad? I need to like, strategize an attack.”
“It’s not that bad, Cousin—” “It’s that bad.” “Just tape the—” “Fuck off with the tape!”
You click your teeth, staring at the gurgling porcelain before you— At least it’s clean, it’s just fucked. “I shut the valve and it didn’t do shit. I think I have to remove it entirely so I can see what’s going on with the underground pipe.”
“Heard.” Richie and you both know that his hotfix handiwork has absolutely contributed to this penultimate mess you’re in now, but you’re both letting that go quietly for now. “You charge by hour or service?”
“Service flat rate and then after two hours it’s by hour.”
He hums, knocking his fist on the doorway a few times before walking away. “Pen and pad, Chef.”
“Not a Chef!”
“Term of Respect, Chef!”
You tap your leg incessantly, groaning like you’ve got an 80-year-old body as you stand to your feet. Richie’s grown a lot. He wears suits now. Hasn’t even poked at you for vanishing. Though you have a feeling it’s coming. If not from him, from someone.
You step out into the hall, leaned against the wall with your arms crossed as you wait for your pen and pad. And now you just have more time and a better view to take in how much has changed.
Gutted. A few walls gone. Makes sense, you told Mikey he was getting a mold problem. He never listened. Seats are new. The booths are the all-around style ones now. Ritzy. It’s too good for this neighbourhood. Is that a good thing? Yeah, right? Despite the fact that The Bear should feel out of place, you feel out of place being in it. Could you afford to eat here? Could the people who work here afford to eat here? Syd said she’s not getting paid for the next few months, so at the very least, the Head Chef can’t.
“Strange?” Tina sidles up to you on the wall, wiping her hands on her apron. Completely knocking you out of your dissociative fugue state.
“Yeah.” You nod, a little too quickly, that felt judgey, you correct, uncrossing your arms. “It’s daunting, I think; to see it all at once rather than slowly built in. Like, I know objectively this is very cool, but—”
Tina hums with understanding. “Feels gutted?”
“Was gutted.” You nod. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like it, it’s just, I dunno. Adjustment period, all that.”
“I needed a second too, but Jeff is good. Change has been good.” You nod like you know who Jeff is. “Carmen, I mean.” Your nod is now significantly more understanding. She smiles, you’re a little surprised to see Tina’s got a lot more insight than she used to. She pulled the thought of Carmen right out of your subconscious before you even detected it for yourself. “He’s good. You’ll see.”
You nod. You know the good she means is not Michelin Star Good. You already know that. He’s Mikey good. Person good. You clear your throat. “How’s Louis?”
“Good. Y’know, he’s getting to that age, getting in trouble. S’been a while since he’s had a good influence.” She nudges you. There it is. There’s the poke. The ‘where have you been?’ The ‘it’s been a year’. The— “Y’know, Chef didn’t come to the funeral neither.”
That one you didn’t expect, your head swivels to her hard. “Carmen didn’t go?”
His brother didn’t go? Oh, who the fuck are you to judge...
She nods, practically with her whole body, she looks more amused than anything. But like, mom amused. The worst amused. “You’re both the sensitive type.”
You cock your head at her, raising a brow. Smirking slightly. “Wow, Tina, I thought you changed too but you still talk your shit, eh?”
“I’m not talking shit!” She laughs, hands up in defence. “I’m just saying, you’re alike.” You hope that the laughter makes her forget the topic but it doesn’t.
“Where have you been?” She softens. She’s not asking to be mean, she’s asking out of concern. Why does that make it feel worse?
You tuck your hands in your pockets and retrain your eyes on hers, even if it feels bad. “Thought time and distance would heal all wounds.”
“Did they?”
Before you can answer, “Pen delivery, cousin!” Richie returns, triumphantly, with a pen and pad held high in the sky. He makes you jump for it. You elbow him in the gut, not hard. “Fuck off, Rich…” He keels over enough for you to grab it. “Thank you, chef.”
You turn back to Tina, who you now realize has spent half her smoke break on you. She nods to you, and then the bathroom door. “I’ll let you get back to it.” You nod in return. When she turns to walk away, you grab her shoulder.
“Tina.” She turns again. You should say something. Something vulnerable and thankful. Words of affirmation are not your thing. But maybe they could be, “If you end up with a dead plate—” Or maybe not.
She grins, and part of you is concerned by this, but she waves you off, giggling like she knows something you don’t. Already walking off. “You’re gonna be taken care of, Terry, don’t worry.”
This is a bad new nickname scheme. The fridge guy is just gonna end up being called ‘fridge guy’ if you take all his names.
It’s maybe three hours later. 11 am ish. You’ve finally put the toilet back in place, the pipes fixed underground— Which is a huge win of progress, the problem is, it’s just seemed to open the toilet’s ability to have other problems that need to be addressed. There’s a strong chance you’ll be here until you die. And even after that, this stupid toilet will still be gurgling, outliving you.
But you seriously have to eat something, so you scrub yourself clean, set your safety equipment down, and head out of the bathroom for a much-needed stretch of the legs— And to hopefully get a plate from Tina.
On your way to the kitchen, you’re stopped and walked backwards to a booth in the corner by Richie. “Hey, Miss, happy to serve you today, my name’s Richard but you can call me Richie, how’re you doin’ this fine morning?”
They’ve yet to open front of house, so you play along, taking your seat with a laugh. “I’m doing perfect, Richie, how are you?”
He nudges the air . “Ey, better now that you’re here, ah? Can I get a drink started for you?”
“Really gonna practice your set on me?”
He shrugs, still smiling. “If you don’t use it, you lose it.”
You hum, then rub your temples, the headache is setting in— Not cause of him, just been a tough morning. “Just your coldest fuckin’ glass of water, Rich.”
“Right away, Cousin.” He slips off into the kitchen.
When the door swings open again, it’s not Richie coming with your ice water, but Carmen— It’s your first time seeing him since the walk-in. When you came in this morning with Syd, it was Nat that gave you the quick briefing on the schedule and goals for today.
“Tony.” He hums, corners of his mouth just slightly upturned. The nickname has stuck. Goddamn. He sets the water down in front of you, along with a plate— Covered by a cloche—Or the silver lid thing, whatever.
“Carmy.” You only mean to mimic his tone, but then cringe. “Is Carmy fine?”
He pauses mid slide into the booth, sitting across from you. He seemed all cool and collected and is now suddenly extremely caught off guard. Already sweaty. “Y-yeah, I’m better, thank you—”
“No, I meant—” It is so difficult to hold back laughter. You deserve an Oscar.
You’re not doing great to be fair but like, still, Oscar worthy attempt.
“I meant like, like is the nickname okay?”
The horrors just keep piling on his face, and you can’t help but feel guilty. No shit he feels like he’s starting on a lower playing field here. You knew his dead brother, you know his Head Chef, your first time meeting him was at quite possibly his lowest moment and biggest mistake— Of which you had to coax him out of, and now he’s misunderstanding every innocent question you have for a inquiry into his psyche.
He clears his throat for objectively too long of a time. “Carmy is fine. Tony is fine?”
“I’m doing okay, yeah.”
Thank God, he laughs, awkward sure but objectively amused.
You nod down to the covered plate, smiling, “Fuck is this?”
He leans forward in his seat to get a hand over the lid. “I, uh. Made you a thing. As thanks or like, an— an apology.”
Ah. That’s why Tina was laughing about you getting taken care of.
He lifts the lid, and what is revealed, if you weren’t careful, would be enough to make you cry. Thankfully, the shock registers as uproarious laughter, one that Carmen cannot help but join.
“What the fuck?”
Pork brisket sandwich. Something that Mikey made for you, specifically. Because you said one time you were more of a pork fan than beef and he absolutely lost it. In a cute way, though. Said ‘Oh, I’ll make you fuckin’ pork, alright?’ You’re not sure if he won or lost the argument, because you did find it better.
“I, uh, we had some cuts left over that we weren’t gonna be able to fuckin’ use, and uh, Tina showed me this, this recipe card, last night.” He slides over the very same brisket recipe Mikey had written down. Little doodles of angry faces and Xs over pigs in the margins.
“He was so fuckin’ mad.” You snort, looking at it. “All I fuckin’ said was I had a preference!”
“In The Beef!”
“He asked!” You quickly defend, through laughter. “And it tastes fucking good. All he did was prove my fuckin’ point— And spent hours doing it. Were you here overnight for this, slowcooking?”
He shakes his head, though there’s a hesitation in it— So you’re not privy to completely believe him. He sniffs, swiping at his nose “I, uh, just came in early. Had to fix some shit anyways.”
He’s staring at the sandwich, then occasionally you, expectantly. You look at him with equal expectance.
“Well?” You start.
“Well?” He astutely adds.
You nod down at the dish. “Do the thing.”
“The thing?”
You pick up one half of the sandwich, but you’ve got no plans of eating until he satisfies this craving first.
“The thing Syd does where she explains why she’s proud of her dish and why I should care. I know it’s Mikey’s, but you clearly made changes.”
“Oh. Uh…” He was both expecting and not expecting this soap box. “So, followed the rub to a T— Well, with a salt bed, this time. Put it on brioche instead of the old shit. And I uh, added uhm—” He snaps his fingers, staring at the sandwich in your hand. “Added pickled red onion, for acid and sweet, and garlic confit. I’m��I’m happy with my spin on it.”
You whistle as a form of praise, he flushes with a glow of pride and is desperately trying to not show it. He’s proud because it’s curated, personal. Ah, he is Mikey good. You nod and take a bite, trying to control your reaction. Worst part about having Artists as friends (especially chefs): They fucking stare so hard when you’re taking in their work. And they’re over analyzing every micro expression. He’s no different.
Fuck. It’s fucking good. Is it bad that it’s better than anything Mikey ever made? Nah, that’s how he’d want it.
“Ah fuck, that sucks—” Is the first thing you say, and his face falls, “Expensive food is worth it.” Right back up. Easy to please. “It’s really good, Chef. Thank you. Did you try it yet?”
He shakes his head, so you push the plate with the other half of the sandwich— It’s brisket, anyways. You’ll be full by the end of this one. Portions generous. He looks momentarily hesitant, which is cute, but inevitably leans forward and takes the sandwich. He nods with each chew.
He hums when he finishes chewing, pointing emphatically at you, though his voice is neutral. “You don’t like something, though.”
“What?”
“What’s wrong with it?” He stares at into the cross section of his bite. “Chewy? Texture?”
“There’s nothing wrong with it.” You’re quick to deny.
He shakes his head, hand over his mouth to hide the sauce on his mouth. “M’not gonna be hurt.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the dish, Carmen.” You take another bite to prove your point. Also you’re hungry. Two things can be true.
He zones in on the emphasis immediately. “It’s the plate, isn’t it? I told Syd—”
“Your tables aren’t bolted.” You interrupt, swiftly. Mouth semi-full.
“Huh?”
You put your sandwich down and swallow, taking your time with it. “Your booth tables.”
You knock on the pristine wood with the joints of your left hand. You swivel your body to look under the table, he follows suit, meeting you there. His left leg has been violently shaking, but he’s thought you wouldn’t notice it until now.
You put a hand on his knee to stop the shaking. He bristles, slightly, but you’re not even doing it on purpose. Your focus isn’t on him. It was making the table imperceptibly shift— Which, of course, you clocked. You tap your foot to the bottom of the table leg. No screws. “They aren’t bolted down.”
You lift yourself back up, moving your hand back to yourself in tandem. He stares at it for a little longer. How you noticed that, he will never know. Repairmen are a different breed…
“I just thought it was a weird choice. Nothing wrong with it, per say. Maybe you wanna test different layouts.” You shrug, taking another bite.
“The booths aren’t bolted either.” He adds, lifting his head up above the table, finally. “I don’t— we’re not gonna fuck with the layout, I don’t think.”
“Should get Fak on that, then.”
“Fak’s big-timing us.” You cock your brow, mid chew. He explains. “He’s focusing on hosting, f'now.”
You nod, swallowing, hand in front of your mouth so you can lick the sauce off your upper lip in non-humiliated peace. “This another job for me, then?”
“If you’ll take it.”
“If your fuckin’ toilet doesn’t kill me, I will.”
“How’s that going?”
You shake your hand so-so. “Ask me in two to three hours how it’s going.”
“Heard.” He sighs, leaning back in the booth. The stress is too apparent not to ask.
“How’s the second day open going?”
“I’m not in a fuckin’ freezer, so that’s a win.” Oh-ho, he’s acknowledging it. You were very comfortable forgetting that moment for his sake. “Thanks, uh, f’ that.”
You shake your head, shrugging off the thanks. You lift your last few bites of the sandwich to him. “You’re good. You’ve gifted me brisket. You relax since?”
“Not really.” He replies bluntly, taking a deep inhale. He pulls at his face from the top down, with both hands. Oof. Bad sign. “I think I’ll be good by tomorrow. Gonna get off early, tonight.”
“You don’t seem happy about that.”
“Ask me in two t’ three days if I’m happy about it.”
Back to work and this is taking so much fucking longer than it needs to take. Why is there tape there? Fucking Richie. Fucking Fak. Fucking Mikey. Godssake. Pipes are fixed. Water pressure is fixed. What the fuck is still wrong with it? What the fuck is wrong with you? Everyone is going to hate you if you can’t fix this. You’ve been here for like 5 hours and you can’t figure out what’s fucking wrong here? You’re nothing. You’re—
The toilet does you the favour of knocking you out of your episode by spraying you in the fucking face, soaking through the top of your jumpsuit. With a groan, you unzip the upper half and tie the wet sleeves around your waist. “Son-of-a-bitch.”
Maybe you just need a change in task for a second. Also, a new t-shirt, because your tank did not survive the waterworks either. This room isn’t the thing you need right now. You slip down the hall to the kitchen. “Who needs a coffee? Or water?”
There’s a chorus of orders, all of which sound like you’ve just asked ‘who wants a gift from God?’, which, you might as well have. This is what you like about being a handyman. The relief you bring. You just need a smidge of praise to get through the rest of this job. You’ve got this.
The small, but serviceable coffee machine in very back of the kitchen calls your name, but Richie sticks his arm out, blocking you from walking past expo up front.
“Hol’ up, Cousin, you look like a fuckin’ wet dog.”
“Well, what ‘ya gonna do about it?” You retort, despite the retort not honestly making any sense, you put your hands on your hips. “Do you want a fuckin’ coffee or not?”
He rolls his eyes, falling back onto the balls of his feet before walking off. “Ey, Sug, are those shirts still in the basement—”
You’ve won for now. You scrub your hands clean before getting to work. This is good. Oooh, Marcus has fresh coffee beans (that he’s willing to share!)— This is easy. You can already fix most broken things, but a machine that actually fucking works? Baby, you can make that sing.
Plus, the bartending gigs you’ve done don’t make you a barista by any means, but they certainly don’t hurt. Oooh, Marcus has syrups! Fuck it. Steamed and frothed milk. That toilet has you on your ass, you need to go above and beyond here. Make each cup personal. You need a win in the form of admiration.
You gather a tray of coffees (and a water for Sweeps, who is too fucking sweaty for a hot drink right now, so fair), all varying in milks, sugars, syrups, intensity. “Coffee run, I hand ‘em out, don’t just take! Corner!”
Ebra, to no one’s shock, likes his coffee black— But, and he’ll tell no one this, you just know it on instinct— He likes it a little too watery. “Good.” Who are you to judge? He likes what he likes.
Tina would take hers black for simplicity, if you let her, but of course you don’t. 2 sugars, foamed milk, chocolate and cinnamon syrup. “Too good to me.” It’s too worth it, when she says it like that and slaps your cheek. Balm of the soul.
Marcus, who watched you make these, did opt to let his imagination run too wild and added one of every syrup to his own cup, wanting to experiment with you. It doesn’t taste good. You switch it for a spiced coffee when he’s not looking. He’s silently very thankful.
After handing out a few more to the new cooks, you come up to Syd. “Take this one, take this one.” Then whisper, so no one knows you are displaying supreme favouritism. “It’s the one oat milk latte I made.”
She turns to you from her station, then darts looks over her shoulder like she’s making an under the table deal before grabbing it from you. She takes a delighted sip, eyes rolling just slightly in the relief of caffeine, she nods. “Fire, Chef.” Ah. This will get you through the day alone.
It also gets you through the willpower it takes to ignore Fak running by you to steal a coffee off your tray. Out of the corner of your eye, you point to the one meant for him— As if you didn’t make it for him, c’mon…
“How’s bathroom?” Syd asks, taking another long sip.
I’m going to fucking explode, not unlike your drainage pipe. “Needed a thinking break, but I’ve made a lot of progress. How’s kitchen?”
“Made a lot of progress. Auto-piloting through this prep.” She looks down at her cutting board, cracking back to it. “Latte helps, a lot, thank you. You should join for family, if you’re still here for it. Unless you don’t want more brisket.”
Fuck. She doesn’t think you’re so slow that you’re gonna be here until family, does she? “Yeah, maybe.” You look around, three coffees still on the tray. “...Where’s Carmen?”
She grimaces. Uh oh. The tension she glossed over at breakfast is still definitely there. She nods her head to the back door. “Smoke break. Or temper tantrum. I don’t fuckin’ know. Don’t tell him I said that.” You laugh, nodding. “You think a coffee would help—” “Please.”
“Corner!” Yells Richie, returning to you. He silently flicks out a shirt for you, holding it up proudly, ‘THE BERF’ stares back at you. You give it a solid five seconds to process before you say anything.
“Collector’s item...” You nod, tone sarcastically impressed. You pivot your shoulder for him to throw it over, hands too busy.
“That’s what I fuckin’ said!” He throws it over your shoulder. “No one fuckin’ listens, these days.”
You bite back laughter and nod, handing him his coffee. Hot. Dark. Two sugars. And, to his delighted surprise, a touch of cinnamon syrup. “Oh, fuck, missed your twists, Chip.”
You wince at what was a long-forgotten nickname, and so does Richie. Funny how remembering origins can do that to you. He’d just said it so instinctively, really. “My bad—”
“Chip is good.” You interrupt, rolling your shoulders back. And it is good, really. “It’s kinda—It’s kinda comforting.” It’s nice to not forget. He nods, and you give each other the ‘we are still so fucked, eh?’ smile before lovingly bumping shoulders as he returns to expo and you head to the back alley.
Carmen’s squatting, cigarette in one hand, creating a halo of smoke around him, and his phone in the other. He snaps out of his mental fog when the door opens, slipping his phone into the pocket of his apron like he’s got a secret to hide.
You hesitate at the doorway, maybe this is not the moment. “Sorry, Chef, I just wanted to offer a coffee? If you need air alone—”
“No, no, I’m good—” He’s quick to correct, then even quicker to correct himself. “I— I’ll take a coffee, I mean. You can stay, s’fine.”
He reaches for it when you sit next to him, but you pull the tray back to hand him the correct one. “Sorry, I—I like, did a thing, for yours. I dunno how you take your coffee, so I thought I’d do it weird.”
He takes the cup, eying it curiously. “Do it weird?”
“Do it like, like a Chef. Can’t make anything fuckin’ simple. The lot of you.”
He hums, amused, staring at the cup, then looks at you expectantly. “Well?”
“Well?”
“Do the thing.”
You snort, shaking your head. “Oh, fuck off.”
“C’mon, tell me why I should care.” He teases.
“Ah, fuck.” You sniff, oh to have your own words turned on you. Looking at the coffee in his hands, “I figured you’d like strong black coffee, but like, complex. So, it’s got like, cardamom and lavender n’ maple syrup. Shout out Marcus.” He smiles. “And then, I know I did just say black coffee but I wanted the aesthetic so I spooned foamed milk on top and sprinkled on some dried lavender.” You take your own cup in hand, putting the tray down. “If you hate it, we’ll trade.”
He pays close attention to your explanation. Man, his eye contact is simultaneously so soft and so scary. He takes a sip. Let’s it sit in his mouth for a second. “Excellent, Chef.”
Oh, if Syd’s ‘Fire’ could get you through the day, Carmen’s ‘Excellent’ will get you through the week to spare. You hide the way you beam by drinking your own coffee.
“How’re you doing?” It’s far too obvious that he’s had something heavy on his head all day, but you’re not going to say the quiet part loud, yet.
He takes a long time to respond. “I, uh…” And when he does, it’s weak. “I’m alright, yeah. I’m alright.”
You nod repeatedly, digesting the huge lie. “Ask me how I’m doing.”
He squints. “…How’re you—”
“Fuckin’ terrible, Carm.” You cut him off, putting your cup down next to him, standing up. You speak emphatically, gesturing with your whole body.
“I’m at my wits, Chef. Completely out of my depth. I fix the main pipe, I fix the water pressure, I triple check the tank, I fuckin’ power cycle the valve— I’m absolutely at a loss as to why it’s still gurgling— Why it shot water straight at my tits— Close your eyes, if you care, by the way.”
With barely any warning you peel off your tank top, you’ve got a bra, it’s fine. It’s very cute that he still looks away. You slip the new shirt over your head as you speak, muffling the words.
“—I’m wearing a shirt that says Berf, and the only way I can feel any semblance of not being utterly useless is by making coffees so good everyone has to praise me for them. And now I’m telling the fucking owner, my boss for the day all this.”
He nods, slowly. There is perhaps, not a single person in his life that has ever been this forthright. Someone he hasn’t had to over-analyze or dig into to figure out what’s actually going on. It is refreshing, terrifying, and for some reason, removing your walls have completely shattered his.
“So.” You lower your head to his level where he sits. “How are you doing, Chef?”
He takes a long sip of his coffee. Stews on the question before he spills his guts, calmly. “I’m sitting outside of the restaurant I started that I own, and my brother should be here, but he’s not and— And I was locked in a fuckin’ freezer on my opening night, which was my own fuckin’ fault— And the tape is wrong and the painting is stupid and that new hire did meth so now we’re down one.” He takes a deep breath.
“And we have Heinz instead of Frenchies, and it’s fine. That’s the fucked part— It’s fine. The ship did not sink without me— It went fine. Better, maybe. My problems aren’t fuckin’ problems. I’m just making it worse for myself— everyone. And I know Syd is mad at me, and I know my— My girlfriend? Is mad at me, and I know that I’m gonna break up with her tonight because I’m not meant to be— that.” He says the last part fast, more to himself than you, really. And then he finally looks back up at you.
“And I’m telling all of this to the person who saved me from hypothermia and a fuckin’—Fuckin’ meltdown, who probably thinks— knows that I’m a psycho.”
You take a beat before nodding, sitting next to him again, arms crossed. Silent. Contemplative. “I have thoughts.”
He nods, taking a drag. “Don’t pull punches.”
“Well, to start most honestly, we must remember, I love Syd. So, I’m not gonna mince about her.”
“Heard.”
You recall everything Sydney had told you at breakfast. The recap of how she got to this point. “Syd isn’t mad at you, she’s disappointed and distrustful.”
He grimaces. “That sounds worse.”
“It is.”
“Oh.”
“But in a way you can fix.”
“How?”
“Handle shit different. Actually show up to shit and make calls. Manage your priorities by urgency— Not by favourites. If I broke my fuckin’ arm and your ‘girlfriend’ had a runny nose, who are you taking to the hospital?”
“You can’t take yourself?”
“Bitch?”
“Kidding. Heard. What else?”
“You’re not gonna tell her I said this because she would rather die than tell someone she wants something.” You lean closer to him, peeking over your shoulder to make sure no one’s secretly come from the kitchen. You knock into his knees.
He takes another drag, short, choked. “Sure.”
“You were kind of a bitch about the menu.”
“The chaos menu? She said—”
“She fucking lied. She lied when she said it was fine, Carm, it does not take a psychic to read Syd’s mind.” You interrupt, taking a sip of your coffee. “She was so excited to get to build a menu, especially with—” you, “—a partner, and then you completely ditched her. And then you just made your own! Total control freak shit! Cut her out of the fun part of being head chef completely! You get to invent masterpieces and she picks out the best cheap plate? Fuck is that?”
He nods contemplatively, poking his inner cheek. “Yeah, that, that makes sense. That’s shitty.” He turns his gaze from looking ahead to face you, hand over the bottom half of his face. “What else?”
“You’re reactive.”
“No shit.”
“How long do you think you were locked in the walk-in for?”
He swallows, thinking. “Like… an hour?”
“It had been 23 minutes.”
“Oh.”
“You catastrophize, it’s a fancy therapy word,” You cannot help but be impressed by this white man writing down the word in his phone for later. “It means, basically, when something bad happens you blow it completely out of proportion into something it isn’t. Your opening night was definitely a bummer from being in a freezer— But be honest with yourself, would you have let yourself have a good night if you weren’t in there?”
“…No.”
“No. Which is also bad. Which brings me to my key point.”
He tenses up, preparing for you to rip into him further.
“You’re doing a good job, Carmy.”
He immediately swivels back to you, almost dropping his phone. Knee knocking into yours. “Fuck off.”
“I will not.”
“You just said I was a catastrophe.”
“Fully not what I said.”
“I read between the lines.”
“Carmen.”
You take a breath, putting your arms on your knees, bent over. “The restaurant is beautiful, your cooks are talented and they’re prepared— So prepared that they can handle 23 minutes without you. That’s a good thing. You’re threaded into The Bear— The ship didn’t sink, not because you weren’t there, but because you had been. Everyone had the tools they needed to succeed, even with Heinz, a Mid painting, and torn tape. And listen—” You take one last sip of your coffee. “You need to check your ego if you think you’re the first man I’ve coaxed through a panic attack while doing a repair.”
He laughs, half-heartedly. He scratches his nose. “Heard. Yeah, thank you, Chef.”
“I don’t know shit about the meth thing though, I really couldn’t tell you.” You smile when this coaxes a better laugh out of him. You’re considering a career in stand up exclusively for him because it feels like such a reward to hear it.
“And the girl?” He asks. Amusement tinging but leaving his voice.
You click your teeth, shrugging your shoulders at him. “Based purely on your hesitation to say girlfriend, I’d say yeah, probably not ready for a relationship.” You reach your hand out to his shoulder when he flops his head down. “But, just asking, is this your first relationship?”
He thinks for too long before nodding slightly. “First one.”
“First restaurant too?”
He nods again.
“Yeah.” You pat his shoulder before letting it go, opting to hold your cooling cup. “I know you’re a Michelin star fuckin’ big deal but like, me personally, I can’t name a thing I got perfect the first time I did it.”
There’s something in his eyes, when you say that. Something wistful, nostalgic, hurt? No. Something different.
“It’s not that I didn’t do perfect—”
“You’ll do better next time.”
He wrings his hands together between his knees. “Yeah.”
“You’re gonna be fine, Carm.”
“You’re good at that.” He sniffs, head down, scratching his nose.
“At what? Self-help?”
He exhales what just barely sounds like a laugh. “Kinda. S’just, when you say it, you say it in a way where I actually believe it.”
You’re getting the fuck out of here before they open for dinner. You’re not letting anyone down tonight motherfucker. The Berf shall prevail. Maybe a win here will feel like a win for Carmen, too.
You run the sink to wash your hands, as you’ve done before here— But since fixing the pipes and the pressure… Something’s… different. You pause your scrubbing, listening closely.
…
When the sink is running, the gurgling flow of water from the toilet stops. Huh. You stop and start the faucet a few times to verify this. Yeah. You stare for a long moment before connecting the dots, then punch the sink in realization.
“Fucking Mikey!”
“What’d he do this time?”
You twist around. Ah, other sibling. Natalie. Clipboard in hand, business ready. You take a beat before remembering to smile, nodding to the sink behind you. “He connected the tank flow to the toilet and the sink with one wire.”
She tilts her head, squinting. “Why would he do that?”
“I suspect to save water?” You spin around, kneeling down to look behind the sink. “I think the idea was to have the sink not function when the toilet is flushing. But, it uh, well, did the reverse, kinda. Toilet doesn’t function when the sink isn’t running.”
“Oh.”
“So uh,” You shut the valve under the sink. “Your water bill should go down a little after this, since it won’t be running into what is an essentially a second trap pipe.”
“Oh!” Did she get what you said? No. But she doesn't need to. She heard ‘bill should go down’ and that’s really all she needed. “Thank you!”
“Not a problem. S’my job.” You stand, shutting off the valve to the toilet as well. As you kneel down to work again, you feel her gaze burning into your back. You don’t turn to face her. “You have questions.”
“Oh, ah… Am I so obvious—?”
“Yes.” You’re too quick to answer, unbolting the wires where it attaches to the toilet and the ground. You sniff with a panicked, “Ah, uh, it’s endearing.”
She’s quiet, for a moment. She doesn’t ask you what she actually wants to ask you, and you know that. “Well, I’ll need to exchange info for your invoice.”
“Ah, don’t worry ‘bout that, your brother already covered it.” You stand once more, before going to the sink to undo it’s valve, you fish through the deep pocket of your jumpsuit, pulling out a crumpled business card and handing it to her.
“But it’s good to have my info on hand, for sure. It’s ah… Kinda old.” Kinda is an understatement. Your dad’s name is still on it, scribbled out in pen and replaced with yours. The dead business line is also scribbled out in exchange for your personal cell.
“It’s uh… I usually only work for friends and family, these days, so I’ve kinda stopped trying to keep up appearances.”
She smiles at it. Thank God, she finds it charming and not sloppy. She tucks it into the clasp of her clipboard. “That’s fine, we are friends and family.”
All you can do is nod, pivoting to the sink. There's a beat of peace.
“Didn’t see you at the funeral.”
Ah. There it is. For a Bear, she sure knows how to poke one. You stutter in unscrewing the bolt.
“Would’ve been nice to meet you, then.”
You clear your throat, it's strangled. “Yeah, I think I was trying to avoid introductions, honestly. Grief comes in different ways, eh?”
“Does it?”
“Mine does.” You swallow, unbolting the wire. With it free, you can just yank it out of the wall. God, forgive your brain, but Mikey was right, she does like to fight. Too bad you don’t.
She just hums in reply, watching you pull the wire from the wall. “You’re a real lifesaver.”
Fuck. Fuck. Lifesaver? Is she fucking with you?
“That toilet sprayed me right in the face, yesterday. And you saved Carmen.” There’s an amused lilt to her voice. She’s not fucking with you. “There’s something about a handywoman that Fak cannot match.”
You can hear a faint ‘Hey!’ through the walls. You laugh through an exhale.
“Again, s’my job. I do my best. Did uh, what was it, Terry come by for the walk-in? I wasn’t looking when I was there.”
You sort through your tools, deciding caulking the holes closed is probably the best option.
“He came over basically overnight to fix it, bless him, still don’t know his name.”
You laugh, it’s a little strangled. So Carmen did stay overnight. He must’ve. You smooth out the caulk with your thumb and a palette knife. Blending it into the grout as best as you can. “Good. Good.”
You dust yourself off. Standing. “Well. That’s uh. That’s my job done. Carmen asked me about—”
“Bolting down the booths?” She nods, checking the time on her watch. There’s not enough time before lunch to do it now. Plus you don’t have the screws. “You’re free to come by in the morning tomorrow—”
“But?” You interrupt, throwing your tool bag over your shoulder.
“But?”
“You said free like you’ve got a preference, what do you prefer?”
She chuckles, slightly. There is something about you that feels familiar. “If you could come after close tonight around 12, that would be nice—”
“It’s done. I’ll be there.”
“Lifesaver. I'll give you the code.”
Fuck.
Always gotta give the reader/mc some sort of mysterious background that even you don't have all the info on. Always.
Hehehehe, again, we're slowing this burn so much. Strangers to Friends to lovers but they're both so comfortable in friends it's hard to move !!
Forewarning, btw, if you've already sunk 10k worth of words into your brain for me (thank you!! I hope you've enjoyed!!), I've never written smut before and I feel like I probably will not build up the courage to do so by the end of this series, but I could prove myself wrong, I dunno. But warning in case that's your thing!! I might blue ball you babe!!
Pretty please tell me your thoughts or I'll eat my Berf shirt. Collector's value!! Thrown away!!
Next Part
#carmen berzatto imagine#carmy berzatto#carmy x reader#carmen x reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#carmy the bear#the bear x you#the bear#the bear x reader#the bear fanfiction
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Leo frowns at his phone.
Or more specifically, at the test on his phone.
Around him, he hears the sound of his brothers tapping their own devices, much faster than he is. Looking up just makes Leo feel worse about his own progress - or lack-thereof.
Mikey’s the fastest, speeding through the test like nobody’s business. He’d been the one to make them all do this stupid test in the first place, so it makes sense that he’s having a blast.
Raph’s slower than Mikey is, but he’s still clearly answering the questions at a steady pace. Sometimes he looks unsure, but he powers through anyway.
Donnie often looks frustrated, which relieves Leo somewhat because at least someone is struggling like him. But that “struggle” isn’t nearly as big as his own, considering that Donnie is answering about as fast as Raph is.
Leo turns his gaze back down to his own test. He’s still near the beginning, he thinks.
He’d put the same answer for the past seven questions - the middle of the road answer, neither a “yes” or a “no.” Then, whenever he does come across one that is more one direction than the other, he second guesses himself and restarts the test!
Sure, there are a few he could definitely give a yes or a no to, but…never the “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree” that the test seemed to want from him.
He eyes his twin sitting nearby, the softshell absorbed in the test. Maybe Leo should copy what Donnie put for some of these…
“DONE!” Mikey’s shout makes Leo freeze in place just as he started to lean over.
“What?” Donnie squawks, “No way you’re already finished, you must’ve been cheating!”
“It’s a personality test, Dee!” Mikey stuck his tongue out, “You can’t cheat at those!”
…
Leo settles back into his seat.
Ignoring Donnie’s mutterings about how it was “just because it’s not an academic test” that he didn’t finish first, Raph smiles encouragingly at Mikey.
“Hey, good job! So what’d you get, Mike?”
Mikey looks back down at his test, reading aloud, “Says that I got the “Campaigner”!”
“What’s that mean?” Leo asks, his phone screen going dark.
“Apparently, I’m an “enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free-spirit”.” Mikey reads, smiling at them, “You think it fits?”
“Oh, to a T, bro!” Leo laughs, giving Mikey a thumbs up, making Mikey’s smile grow larger.
Inside, Leo was feeling a lot more mixed about this. He has no idea how Mikey knew himself so well. Maybe Donnie was right and Mikey did cheat, because how could he answer those questions so easily?
Leo’s phone burns in his hand. He keeps it locked.
“Wow, that really is you.” Raph says, his eyes flitting back and forth between his own test and Mikey, “Do you think it fits?”
“I guess? It’s fun to see at least!” Mikey shrugs with a grin.
“Hold on, I think…” Raph makes a noise of satisfaction, “Okay, done!”
“Sigh, now I’m relegated to the straggler group.” Donnie grumbles, his thumbs moving faster as he tries rushing through the questions.
“Ooh, what’d you get Raph?” Mikey asks, practically bouncing in curiosity.
“Says, uh…I got something called the “Consul”?” He squints his eyes to read more, “Uh, “caring, social, and community-minded.””
“Sounds about right to me.” Leo nods. Can’t be more “community-minded” than being a hero.
“Yeah, no one’s more caring than you, Raphie!” Mikey says, moving to lean across Raph’s shell.
“You do put the community in mind, that’s for sure.” Donnie states, not looking up.
Raph chuckles, a bit embarrassed, “Aw, thanks. It’s just some test, but it feels kinda good to hear that.”
Just a test. Right.
Leo unlocks his screen.
The test stares back at him.
Right. Okay. He can do this. He can.
The screen ends up going dark again.
Frustration builds up in Leo. Was he even halfway done with the test? At this rate, soon even Donnie will-
“FINISHED.”
Leo unlocks his phone.
“What’d you get, DonTon?” Leo asks as his thumb taps the top right of the screen.
Donnie puffs up proudly, a self sure grin on his face, “I got the result “Logician” which states that I, obviously, am an “innovative inventor with a thirst for knowledge.” Truly could not have described me better, if I do say so myself.”
“It is pretty accurate.” Raph agrees with a nod, “Even calls you an inventor, so extra accurate.”
“Super accurate.” Mikey jumps in, eyes shining.
“Yes, yes, almost like reading my own character synopsis.” Donnie’s grin had not dwindled since the word “innovative” had left his mouth.
Leo just nods along, eyes on his own screen as he skims the words. “Yeah, kinda creepy how close it got. Could have called you a nerd for extra accuracy, though.”
Donnie turns to him, eyes narrowing, “Have you even finished your test? I can think of a few words that’d describe you fairly well.”
“Test-y, huh?”
Before Donnie can strangle Leo, Raph cuts in.
“Ok, ok, calm it down, guys.” He rolls his eyes before turning to Leo. “But really, you’re not done yet?”
“Leo’s taking this self reflection seriously.” Mikey sports a faux intellectual expression as he gives a jokingly serious nod. “Maybe we all should’ve taken our time.”
“Says the one who sped through the whole thing in a record time.” Donnie mutters.
Leo waves them all off, “Nah, I finished it ages ago.”
He grins when Donnie immediately shoots him a suspicious glare. “Oh, you did, did you? Then what could you have possibly gotten, Nardo?”
“I’m glad you asked!” Leo clears his throat, “Neon Leon just so happens to be an “Entertainer.””
“Ah. That confirms it. This test is meaningless.” Donnie drones.
“Hey-“
“What’s an Entertainer like?” Mikey asks with a tilt of his head, still hanging off of Raph’s shell.
“Glad you asked, Miguel!” Leo exclaims, “It says that “life is never boring” around yours truly~”
He emphasizes this “result” of his by waving his phone with said “result” on screen.
It’s just an image he found of his chosen personality result, but they don’t need to know that.
Raph nods slowly, “Well, I guess that’s true…”
“”Never boring” is one way to put it.” Donnie hums.
“You are pretty fun, Leo!” Mikey says emphatically, because he’s great like that.
“Thank you, thank you, life of the party, right here.” Leo grins, pointing both thumbs at himself.
He’s careful not to go too overboard with it, or else it might tip someone off.
Not that it…really matters. It’s just a test. Like Raph said.
As the topic around him shifts to something else, jumping away from this brief activity as fast as any other among them, Leo finds himself unlocking his phone and pulling up the test again.
Unanswered questions stare at him. He knows what answers Lou Jitsu would pick. He knows what answers Jupiter Jim would pick. Hell, he knows exactly what answers his brothers would pick.
He doesn’t know what answers Leonardo would pick.
Leo stares at the test for a second longer, before he exits the site and throws himself into the conversation happening around him.
It’s just a stupid test, nothing to worry about.
Just a test…
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#could not ignore this idea that hit my brain haha#if you disagree with me on what personality types I gave the boys that’s fine tbh#picked mbti since it was the first one I thought of but again it like most of these tests isn’t super worth putting stock into#these tests are kinda dumb anyway but they’re fun to take#for some#anyway I love thinking about Leo struggling with his sense of identity#and in turn struggling with what is a persona and what is HIM#how much is a mask how much is built from taking traits from others how much is real how much is fake#even he doesn’t know#protagonist is probably a good choice for leo but I’m also tied to him secretly being the introverted type as well so#bit more of an ambivert maybe#he’s got aspects of a lot of them hence the difficulty answering questions#well most of his difficulty comes from an uncertainty of who he really is#again what is him and what is his mask#or masks#what even is his true self if his self is someone he’s never bothered to meet#a lot of the little details of his personality - the parts of him that we see peek out throughout the series and often on his own -#- they align with personality types that you would never think of when looking at him and his masks at face value#that’s not to say it’s all masks - he’s a goofy guy at his core - but he’s more than he lets on and we’re made privy to that in subtle ways#though fr protagonist is prob Leo’s most likely result
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Some more Black Myth Wukong Destined One x reader / OC / self-insert / whatever-floats-your-boat thoughts
***** Black Myth: Wukong Ending Spoilers *****
While I know that in the true ending, the Destined Ones inherits all of Wukong's power and skill and memories and is basically the Monkey King reincarnated, I still kinda see them as two separate beings?
Especially in terms of shipping Destined One x reader LMFAO. IDK I just think this has a potential to be angsty or ending in a tragedy, like yeah you have heard stories of the great Monkey King (or not, depending on your character's backstory). But the monkey you are traveling with doesn't seem anything like the Great Sage you have heard so much about. It's hard to tell what he is thinking or wants but with time you learn how to read the Destined One (see my other hc here). This is the monkey you've been traveling with for some time, protecting you, listening to your woes and shower thoughts. Who made sure you were fed and safe and warm at night.
What does it mean then when he inherits all of Wukong's power and will and memories? Is his personality slowly gonna shift to be more and more like the monkey king's? Did the Destined One ever had a free will on his own? In the game when you die, a lot of times enemies will say "oh you are nothing like him" and that it is also not the first time the Destined One has been here (which I guess is tied to one of the game's ending). I think it's just kinda sad that the purpose of his entire existence is to go find the 6 relics, and then inherit Sun Wukong's memories and be basically the Monkey King reincarnated.
So I'm writing this with my OC in mind, but I feel like if she learns that his whole journey at the end is to become Sun Wukong and be his reincarnation, idk she is gonna absorb that information well. It may suddenly feel like you never really knew the Destined One at all? Was there ever a chance for you to be with him or be together? Once the Destined One inherits all of Sun Wukong's memories, will he still feel the same way about her? will he remember all the good times and bad times and ugly times they went through? I feel like there would be a whole new adjustment period lmfao. ofc this can all still end in a happy ending way, but right now my brain is just stuck in how sad this could also potentially be.
I think part of the reason why I also feel this way is because I am generally not a fan of the whole "past person reincarnated" trope (love isekai though).
I do love the game's ending as it is, but in terms of shipping with an OC or whatever (which is what I always do when I ✨ obsess ✨ over a fictional character), it's not my favorite
anyway yeah, I'm not good with putting my thoughts into words so I hope it makes sense what I'm trying to say
#the ham talks#black myth wukong#sun wukong x reader#sun wukong x oc#jttw#journey to the west#i really like the destined one as a silent protagonist lmfaoo like yeah monkey king is great and all#but there is just something about a silent monkey protagonist???#im down bad ok#black myth wukong x reader
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How do you think OT7 Dream would comfort you after a bad day?
Mark: When Mark comes home from a day of work and sees you on the couch sad and quiet, not at all like your normal self, his face quirks up in shock. Your eyes are on him as he awkwardly looks around the room, rubbing his arm, looking as if he’s unsure what to do. After a few beats of silence, he meets your eyes and sits down next to you.
“How was your day?” He asks, looking at you with soft brown eyes. He listens intently and offers emotional support for a few minutes before diving into some solutions and advice. You notice his sentences are a little disjointed or rambling, but he definitely got some good points across and brought up new perspectives you hadn't considered.
"No, yeah, like, she was totally... uh... over the line for asking you to stay late to finish that report... like, she totally put you in a weird spot, y'know, given the fact she asked if you'd do it in front of so many people, you know? you don't... you can't deal with that kinda thing." You nod, feeling your frustrations dissipate as he continues to be the picture perfect supportive boyfriend… albeit a bit rambly. His talents definitely lie in making sure you feel heard, and like all of your concerns are so valid. He's an amazing listener who reassuringly holds your hand and gently strokes your thumb with his own as you talk and he offers his best reassuring words. Even if he somehow loses his train of thought along the way, he always brings it back home. He's the sweetest boyfriend you could ever ask for and you love the way he takes your mind off things... when he offers to get you your favorite takeout, you squeak out a "No, it's ok, I'm fine. We have leftovers."
He calls you from the restaurant to ask what exactly it is you like from their menu because he just wants to be 100% sure he gets your order right (and that they don't forget your sauces...) Would totally be the type to bring home way too much food, sheepishly saying, "Hey, you deserve it.... it's been a long day for you... not that you have to have a bad day to like, get good food, but i'm seizing this opportunity to make my girlfriend smile."
Yes, he did scrunch up his free hand that isn't holding copious bags of take-out while saying that sentence... and yes, you do laugh. When he sits back down on the couch next to you, you can't help but smile over how he instantly puts on some cheesy show for you both to watch while you eat your giant meals. "Mark... we're going to be eating these leftovers for days..." You say, but even as you say it, you're a bit shocked to realize nearly all the fries are gone.
Your eyes meet in shock, and you double over in laughter over the fact you both have been so absorbed in the stupid happenings of the reality TV show... you just kept eating.
With full bellies, you'd lay down on the couch and cuddle... laughing over the fact at least your problems aren't as bad as the poor girls on the crappy reality TV show... and you're lucky enough to have an amazing boyfriend who'd do anything to make you feel loved <3
Haechan: When you'd text him to let him know your day isn't going that well, Haechan would be the type to immediately get mad on your behalf as if someone had insulted his honor to the highest degree. Like... if you're having a bad day because of something somebody said to you or did to you, best believe you'd have to pull him back from confronting that person. His chaotic and over-the-top insistence on getting as involved as possible makes you feel really loved... Although he is a bit dramatic, you have to admit it's a nice change from the previous nonchalant busters you had dated who had no real interest in protecting your wellbeing. This man would spam your phone with stupid Instagram reels and bad puns in hopes your mood would improve slightly.
When he's finally with you in person, it would take a natural disaster to get him off of you. He would douse you in kisses and nearly crush your ribcage with a tight hug. He'd totally be the type to dramatically look out the window and declare you're letting those bitches win if you don't make the best of the rest of the day. he'd walk you around the neighborhood for a bit, an arm slung over your shoulder, and would just take in the scenery with you, feeling that your quietness was more out of contentedness than anything else.
Although he can sometimes be a lot, he has a huge heart and will always do his best to read the room and figure out what you need... while still encouraging you to sometimes do things that make you a bit uncomfortable... Hey, he was right about how good a walk outside can be for mental health and gaining perspective! you should trust him.
he'd claim he had no real route in mind for your neighborhood walk, and yet, you'd somehow conveniently end up at your favorite mom-and-pop restaurant. he'd feign shock, looking between you and the restaurant a few times before saying, "Destiny led us here... come on, the universe is saying your boyfriend needs to buy you a couple pan-fried dumplings. Who are we to say no?"
Once you're sitting down at the restaurant, you'd finally begin spilling more details about what was bothering you, and to his credit, he would listen quite well, only interrupting a few times to express his annoyance with your classmates over not carrying their weight on the project. With a belly of pan-fried dumplings and noodles, you walk back to your apartment with Haechan, grateful to have a boyfriend who lets you vent at your own pace, and doesn't force you to share ... even if it sometimes kills him to wait to hear who is at fault Renjun: Renjun is the type to immediately discern when something is wrong with you, even if you try your very best to hide it. As soon as he'd come home and lay eyes on you, staring straight ahead on the couch in the living room, his gaze would soften and he'd say, "hey sweetheart... you okay?" to which you'd nod before tears would suddenly well up, causing him to drop everything in his hands and rush over to you.
He'd sit next to you on the couch and pull you close to his side, wrapping both arms around you and rocking you gently as you cry. He'd sit there with you quietly for as long as it would take for you to calm down, quietly humming as the two of you sway slightly, his hand softly combing through your hair. Eventually, you'd shakily exhale and lift your head from his shoulder, maneuvering yourself on the couch to face him. He'd shift slightly, as well, ensuring that you could see his full attention is on you. He'd listen intently as the words suddenly come spilling forth. After telling him all about your bad day and what has been bothering you, you can count on Renjun to get right down to solutions. Though he's a super caring boyfriend, the man would believe that the way to truly help you feel better would be to attack the issues head-on rather than just offering you emotional support. However, he always speaks to you very calmly and sweetly, never talking over you. After discussing possible solutions for a while, I think he'd be the type to say, "Well, there's not much else we can do right now, so maybe let's just take your mind off of all that for tonight? And tomorrow, you can talk to your friend about some of your concerns." You love the way he makes big, all-consuming feelings and events feel smaller by breaking it down piece-by-piece and ensuring you never feel like these issues are yours to bear alone.
He'd totally be the type to say something cheesy like "the first duty of love is to listen" He'd be so honored that you shared your troubles with him and trust his advice so much, would instantly shush you if you tried to apologize for crying and ruining your night together.
"Your worries are my worries... I swear sometimes you worry me with how low your bar is for treatment from others... but hopefully it's raising everyday we're together." After all that talking... and crying... and laughing, he'd make some popcorn, crack open your favorite soda, and put on the one movie you've watched every time you've been sad. And he wouldn't even make fun of you when you'd recite all the lines along with the characters dutifully. Jeno: When you come back from school, overwhelmed by the workload of your graduate-level courses, Jeno would listen intently to all your issues, nodding and sighing at the appropriate times, making you start to find amusement in his display of active listening. This man would definitely take all his cues from you and adapt appropriately. If you're angry... then he is boiling mad, too. Madder than you are, actually. If you just don't want to talk about it any more, he would definitely respect that, and start cycling through your favorite topics to try and boost your mood.
No matter what, he would insist on being by your side and doing whatever it is that you want to do, repetitively asking if there's anything else he can do for you. He'd shyly pepper your hairline and temple with kisses, smiling against your head softly when he'd feel you laugh. He'd definitely be all over you, cuddling you on the bed to the best of his ability as he throws out different activities you could do to feel better. "Do you want to paint something?" A slight head shake from you tells him you're not really in the mood for anything crafty... but maybe you could be convinced. "Hmm... would you wanna go out for dinner, baby?" It's silent for a few seconds before you say, "Hmm... maybe...."
The arm he has around your neck is comforting, but as he moves it to scratch his chest absentmindedly, you feel like the comforting embrace is slightly choking.
Thankfully, he stops his scratching and sighs, staring at the ceiling before he tosses out his next suggestion. "Okay... how about... we go to that one grocery store you really love, get all the ingredients for homemade pizza... AND any other snacks you want? and your loyal samoyed will happily buy them all for you?"
suddenly feeling a burst of energy over the prospect of wandering the aisles of your favorite fancy grocery store and being silly and creative in the kitchen with Jeno, before relaxing on the couch together to laugh over some stupid movie, you curl into his side excitedly.
"Yeah, that sounds amazing..." Now you're the one peppering him with kisses, from the mole below his eye to the tip of his nose, feeling so happy that you have such a patient and sweet man who shows you how he cares through actions. "You can just wear my sweatshirt, too. No need to change." Is it possible to be any more in love? I guess you'll find out when the night's over.
Jaemin: Jaemin runs an aggressive campaign in turning your frown upside down. "Baby.... what's wrong...?" Jaemin's deep voice would warble out of the phone as you try to steady yourself in the bathroom at work.
"Ugh, it's... it's nothing. I'm just frustrated. I shouldn't have called, I know you're busy..."
He'd huff, the pfft somehow coming through the speaker with just as much sass as it would in person. "What is it I always say when you start pulling this nonsense?"
You exhale, glad there is no chance anyone can come in the single-occupancy restroom and hear your boyfriend giving you a pep talk over the phone.
"'You're wasting both of our times because I'm not going anywhere until you talk?"'
Jaemin's tinny voice exclaims in frustration over the phone. "Baby, no, the other thing."
You hum in understanding. "'Tough times don't last but you will?'"
He groans again. "Damn, I say way too many things, all so wise and encouraging. No, baby, 'a problem shared is a problem halved.' That's what I always so wisely say to encourage you."
You'd nod, finding amusement in just how many idioms seem to come spewing out of him. After talking to him on the phone for a bit, you'd find the strength to leave the bathroom and finish your day at work. When you finally make it home, Jaemin would hug you at the door, and gently ask how the rest of the day went, offering emotional support and advice as you saw fit. However... his biggest way of making you smile after a hard day would definitely be taking you to a late night movie and stuffing his cargo pants and hoodie with all the snacks you could ever want. He'd even go as far as to throw some cans of soda into a blanket before excitedly tucking it under his arm, urging you to get in the car so you can go snuggle at the theater with all the smuggled snacks you could ever desire. You'd cuddle up to each other, grateful it was a reclining seat theater, and that nobody else seemed to want to see this weeks-old movie at 11:00 pm on a Wednesday other than the two of you. After the movie, he'd take you on a drive around the city, playing your favorite music lowly, his hand on your thigh, allowing you to talk as you saw fit, but mostly just content with the silence, knowing the soft smile on your face was genuine. And when you fall asleep in the car? he'd drive around for a few more minutes, softly singing along to the music and gently stroking your leg as he did so.
And yeah... he'd carry you inside and shush all the cats before they'd even get a chance to meow.
And when you wake up the next day, terrified you're gonna be late for work? He's already awake, cooking breakfast :) best boyfriend in the world award loading... Chenle: Chenle is a straight-forward man. When he realized you were answering his texts after several hours with short replies, he knew action needed to be taken.
He'd call you, and after your sniffly "hullo?" would know all he needs to. Nothing would stop that man from instantly booking it to your location, which just so happened to be the parking lot of your job.
He'd park right next to your car, and tap on the passenger window gently, prompting you to unlock the door for him.
"(Y/N), what's wrong? Was it that one girl from yoga? The stupid ass girl in HR? Tell me," He'd say, taking his hands in yours, causing you to shift in your seat slightly and face him.
"I-I don't even know, Chenle. It's just everything today... one thing after the other." After showing him your cracked phone screen and broken nail, he examines your hand more carefully, turning it over with great scrutiny.
"Um... what, Chenle?" “This color was ugly anyways…” He mutters before looking up at you. “Get in my car, we have to go.”
You look at him in shock, still a little annoyed and frustrated. “What?”
He huffs, voice unwavering and face firm. “Get. In. The. Car.”
Suddenly he beams. “I’m taking you to get your nails redone. And in a cuter color…”
You feel a blush coming on over his insistence. “Oh, no, Chenle, it’s fine, really–”
“Stop. It’s already done. And I need you to get moving. While you’re getting your nails done, I have to make it to this appointment… you like silver, right?”
Your eyes widen in shock as you sit down in the passenger seat of Chenle’s car. “Chenle, you’re not getting me a new phone.”
Chenle laughs, shaking his head slightly. “Nobody said anything about getting you a new phone…you materialistic woman…”
When you get picked up from your nail appointment, (which Chenle Zelle’d you the money for, plus a little extra because of “girlfriend tax”), you not only have a new latest-model silver iPhone but also a new pair of silver hoops.
You just love the way he spoils you while simultaneously keeping you on your toes. Life is never boring with him, and he never hesitates to make you feel special in his own way.
Would definitely finish the day off by dramatically performing all of your favorite songs he normally finds really cheesy and annoying (he wants to put a smile on your face today, okay? Don’t get used to it)
Jisung: He knows you sometimes need your space, so he’d want to feel out what the right move is. When he feels like you’re having a bad day, Jisung would first talk to you about all of your favorite topics enthusiastically, hoping it would pique your interest and cheer you up… if that was unsuccessful… he would dive deep into his trove of secrets and tell you about embarrassing things he’s done that he’s forced the other boys to hide from you (which is no easy feat seeing as they love to tell you about dumb things he has done).
“So… you just… ran away?” You say, your chest feeling lighter as you laugh.
“Well… I just felt so awkward… my voice crack echoed around the room so loudly…I knew that Haechan would be talking about it for the rest of the week.”
You laugh some more, thinking of how he must have had that cute embarrassed look on his face when it happened.
“Honestly, probably the rest of my life.”
A cute blush would appear on his features, making you feel compelled to snuggle even closer to him, the scent of his soft hoodie doing wonders in improving your mood.
You would quietly talk on the couch for a while before Jisung would start showering you in shy compliments, telling you how much he loves your hair and your outfit, before finally asking how you could have possibly had a bad day when you look this good.
Now you’d blush, hiding your face in his hands when he looks at you with his sparkly eyes.
“Don’t you have rehearsal now?” You’d ask and he’d shrug, looking at the time quickly before looking back at you.
“I can be late. I don’t want to go just yet.”
You’d snuggle in deeper and feel 1000x better knowing he’ll always be there when you’re feeling down.
#nct dream#dreamies#nct#chenle#jaemin#jisung#haechan#mark lee#nctzens#nct reactions#nct imagines#nct dream x reader#nct dream imagines#nct dream reactions#na jaemin#nct fluff#nct dream fluff#nct x reader#cc answers#anonymous asks#jisung park#jeno#jeno x reader#jeno lee#lee jeno#lee haechan#donghyuck
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My thoughts on Frankenstein can basically be summed up in, “Victor is a dickhead but at least he’s not an incel,” and “The Creature is a dickhead but at least he’s not a rich prick”.
To this day “ermmm Victor/Creature is the innocent guy and (X other character) is the bad guy achtually 🤓☝️” takes make me so fucking mad. THEY BOTH SUCK, AND THEYRE BOTH STILL SYMPATHETIC PROTAGONISTS. THATS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING BOOK😭
Also people who think Victor was the bad guy for refusing to make the Bride and going “huh, maybe making a creature for the sole purpose of suffering and fucking you is really fucked up and not my place at all actually?” legitimately need their fucking heads checked because do you genuinely have zero reading comprehension or life experience??? Can you read a book? Can you understand basic themes and concepts? Are you actually stupid?
Victor is a terrible guy for being self absorbed enough to cheat God and nature itself, creating a being that was never meant to be born and inflicting immense suffering on it by the nature of it existing in a way that fundamentally can not be balanced out — following the Christian influences and background in which the novel was written at the time, Victor is not God, he can’t offer the creature salvation or in any way metaphysically balance out his suffering, so he just introduces him to a life of a living hell by his own design and by the nature of the fact that Victor is just a man, and the Creature himself is terrible because the nihilism inherent to his condition as Victor’s creation turns him into a murderous incel who wants to just further the suffering Victor caused, because if he can’t be happy, nobody should, so he kills every innocent bystander who Victor loved and demands that he makes him a woman like Eve who’s equal to him in suffering, who exists for the sole purpose of being his, who was created to be his.
And Victor says no, because he has actual character development and realises it isn’t his place (also, very likely mirroring his engagement to Elizabeth if you kinda follow the same reading as me that Victor never really loved her romantically and felt forced into the marriage because of his mother), which, shock horror, makes Victor a more likeable protagonist, because again, shockingly, he’s actually a pretty good guy in this one situation making a really good moral decision for once by saying “yeah I’m not going to create a woman whose sole purpose in life is to fuck you and suffer as much as you, also what if she doesn’t want to fuck you???”
Are people allergic to the concept of character development or something?? Are people allergic to multifaceted complex characters?? You feel terrible for the creature because of what Victor has done to him by bringing him into existence, and you feel terrible for Victor because of how doomed he is (in the worst way, it’s not just him suffering, he has to watch everyone he loves being forced to suffer because of him) by his one mistake and how he doesn’t have any way to fix it. A creation with no God, and a Man with the weight of God upon him because of his own mistake. They’re both doomed. That’s why it’s so good, THE BOOK IS A FUCKING TRAGEDY WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GRASP???😭
#babe wake up new toaster trash Frankenstein rant just dropped#gothic lit#classic literature#gothic literature#frankenstein#classic lit#goth lit#frankenstein weekly#Victor Frankenstein#frankensteins creature#frankenstein or the modern prometheus#mary Shelley
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— 🖤 ⋆⭒˚。⋆
⟡ summary: just a small moment with your boyfriend while stargazing.
⟡ content: pure fluff, around five hundred words.
⟡ notes: kinda cheesy, but been feeling all lovey-dovey because my crush talked and texted me today.. so yeah, enjoy!!
⟡ streaming: baby i’m yours by arctic monkeys.
⟡ masterlist.
“do you ever think about what your life would’ve been like if we hadn’t met?” you inquired, delicately running your fingertips through jude’s hair, while he rested his head on your abdomen.
jude glanced upwards, a graceful smile gracing his lips, as he sincerely pondered how different his life would have been without the presence of his soulmate.
he imagined a life without waking up beside you, without seeing your personal belongings in the bathroom, without witnessing your makeup scattered haphazardly in their bedroom. he imagined not having your beautiful, full lips to kiss whenever he felt down and needed solace.
undoubtedly, jude would’ve been miserable.
after all, before encountering you, jude had always been emotionally guarded, preventing others from peering into the depths of his heart.
it was as if he had constructed an impenetrable fortress, shielding his true self from anyone’s view.
however, on that fateful day, everything changed when he laid eyes on you.
your skin radiated under the sun, adorned in an elegant white dress that accentuated your beauty. your innocent gaze met his as you asked him for the time.
in that very moment, his heart skipped a beat, utterly captivated by the most exquisite woman he had ever seen. he was instantly smitten, falling head over heels for you.
“well…” jude began, gently removing your hand from his hair and holding it tightly against his chest. “the thought of never meeting you fills my heart with sorrow because.. you’re the sunshine that fills my days with joy and love. without you, my existence would have been incomplete.”
you was taken aback by such a deeply romantic and thoughtful response. despite your efforts to hold back tears, your eyes welled up as you absorbed jude’s heartfelt words.
“oh, my…” you sniffled, using your free hand to wipe away the tears cascading down your cheeks.
upon hearing your sniffles, jude tore his gaze away from the stars, propping himself up on his elbows. with wide, concerned eyes, he looked at you.
“what’s the matter? did i say something wrong?” jude inquired, his voice filled with worry.
he sat up and gently pulled you into a sitting position as well, ensuring he had a clear view of your face.
you shook her head, gazing at jude with adoration, grateful to have such an incredible person in your ife. he wasn’t just your boyfriend; he was your best friend, your muse, the straw to your berry, your partner in—
well, you get the point.
“no, no, it’s perfect," you reassured, holding his hand tightly as you regained her composure. “you’re perfect.”
jude’s heart bursted at the love reflected in your eyes, knowing that you were deeply smitten with him, just as much as he adored you. of course, jude would always insist that he loved you even more.
without uttering a word, jude gently cupped your face in his hands, closing the distance between your lips. the kiss conveyed his love and appreciation more eloquently than words ever could.
you hummed with contentment, melting into jude’s embrace as he wrapped his arms around you, making every tense muscle of yours to ease.
“you’re perfect.” you repeated, cheeks flushed.
“no, we’re perfect together.”
#trentsgirl—work! 🪐⋆。°✩#fanfic rec🦢#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#football#football x y/n#football fanfic#football smut#football fluff#england football#football fantasy#football players#football x reader#football imagine#soccer imagine
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Do You Think I'm a Nasty Girl
Hi! So this is my attempt at getting back into the groove of writing again, and what better way than with a lovers to enemies to lovers again fic?
On a summer night in '84, while your parents are away, you decide to test out their new hot tub and wind up getting an unexpected visit from your annoyingly hot neighbor.
After setting up your radio with your favorite mix tape, you slip out of a dainty, pink kimono, revealing a low-cut black bathing suit. It's cut high, on the sides, showing off more skin than you would ever dare to at the local pool. It was your latest scandalous mall purchase, and you knew your parents would freak if they saw you wearing it. Luckily, you had the house and hot tub to yourself for the weekend and could wear or do whatever you wanted.
You press play, on the tape deck, before easing into the warm water. You wince a little, and check the temperature gage, on the side, worrying you had it set too high. It was previously set at 104 degrees and you immediately lower it to 100. You then sit on the edge of the tub, waiting for the water to cool slightly. Turning your head, your eyes scan the empty backyard as an odd feeling comes over you, making you wonder if you're truly alone.
Shaking your head, you tell yourself to stop being so paranoid before lowering yourself into the water.
The whirring of the jets almost drowns out your music, so you scramble over to the side and lean over to adjust the volume.
Laura Branigan's Self Control fills the night air as you settle back into your spot, nestling your head against the plush headrest behind you. A sigh of relaxation then leaves your lips as you close your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the swirling water.
You drift into a sort of meditative state, as all the sounds around you fade into a low hum. You're so completely absorbed in your own world that you're oblivious to the sound of someone entering your backyard.
The usually distinct creaking of the wooden gate doesn't reach your ears, as it's slowly opened then quickly shut.
Careful footfalls on the manicured grass also go unnoticed as the visitor walks up to the back patio. They stand, in front of you, smirk on their lips as they admire the serene state you're in. They debate whether or not they should disturb you but ultimately decide to make their presence known.
"And here I thought you were having a party and didn't invite me..." they say, causing your eyes to instantly open.
"What the fuck, Harrington?" You ask, with a glare, trying to keep your composure, as your heart feels like it's going to pound right out of your chest. "How'd you get back here?"
"The gate was unlocked," he casually replies, gesturing to it with his thumb. "And like I said, I thought there was a party, given the music and all."
Rolling your eyes, you sit up slightly and lean over to turn down the music.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but it's just me," you remark, glancing up at him.
"Who said I was disappointed?" He smiles, his eyes meeting yours before traveling lower to your partially obscured cleavage.
"This song's a bit scandalous for you, don't you think?" He then asks, with one hand resting on his hip, while the other points to your radio.
You haven't been paying attention to the song that's playing, and when you realize it's Nasty Girl by Vanity 6, you sigh dramatically.
"Are you, of all people, offended by it?" You challenge, getting up to move closer to him.
He scoffs. "Of course not, but I didn't think you listened to stuff like this."
"Why? Because it's too risqué? Too obscene?"
You lean over the edge of the tub while he opens his mouth ready to respond. The sight of your glistening body causes him to freeze up.
"Kinda, yeah..." he mumbles, while you lean back into the water.
"I guess there's a lot you still don't know about me," you say with a smile.
He licks his lips before taking a step closer. "Why don't we fix that? Can I join you, or is this just a party for one?"
Deciding to up the brattiness, you roll your eyes and sigh.
"I guess you can, as long as you keep your opinions on my taste in music to yourself."
A grin spreads across his lips. "I can do that."
He then kicks off his Nikes before pulling his white t-shirt over his head. You watch a little too intently as he peels off his tight Levi's, leaving a pair of tiny green shorts underneath.
He sits on the edge of the tub before swinging his legs around and lowering himself into the water.
"Ooh, this is nice," he breathes, as he sits across from you. "I wish my parents would get one of these."
"You should tell Daddy you want one. I know the girls would love it," you snark as he shakes his head.
"Is that all you think of me?" He asks, defeatedly.
"You've never given me the opportunity to have a different perception of you," you explain, averting your eyes from his.
He sighs. "I know, but I'm not that guy anymore. At least, I'm trying not to be."
"And you expect me to just take that at face value?" You counter, unable to keep the hostility out of your voice.
"I guess not..." he begins, as he shifts in his seat.
Your eyes widen as he moves to sit next to you. He's suddenly so close, with his thigh pressing against yours as he reaches up to cup your cheek.
His gaze cuts through the steamy air as he leans in, so close the tip of his nose grazes yours as he finally continues, "I'll have to prove it to you, then."
You're struggling to speak, let alone breathe, as it's all too much. His thumb gently caresses your skin as he waits for some sarcastic retort that never comes.
Your mind's then flooded with memories of the first time he held you like this, the first time you felt his breath on your skin, of so many firsts, its overwhelming.
You manage to whisper his name, causing him to whisper yours in return.
"You can pretend to hate me all you want, but I know you missed this," he breathes, as he ghosts his lips over yours.
You resist the urge to lift your arms out of the water and wrap them around him.
"You're already off to a rough start, Harrington," you reply, relishing in his annoyance at your continued use of his last name.
"But am I wrong? Don't you miss me at least a little bit?" He asks, brushing his lips against yours, teasingly.
You sigh as you feel yourself weakening for him all over again. You wish more than anything that you could hate him, but no matter how much you want to, you just... can't. It's what lured you into his bed, his backseat, anywhere he could get his hands on you.
He made you feel so pretty and wanted and possibly loved... until someone else caught his eye. He'd then treat you as an afterthought, especially at school, practically staring you down as you walked by, with his arm around another girl.
That's the closest you got to hating him, and for the rest of the school year, you believed you did. You tried everything you could to make yourself forget the smug allure of Steve Harrington.
And it worked, until tonight.
Your hand grips the slippery bench underneath you, as he nuzzles his nose against yours, content with teasing you all night, if he has to, just to finally hear what he wants.
"Yes," you quietly reply, your voice barely audible over the sound of water swirling around your bodies. "I missed you."
He pulls away, only to look into your eyes, and smiles.
"I missed you, too, honey."
You immediately bristle at his pet name, as all your hurt feelings come rushing back.
"Don't..." you warn, raising your hand and pressing it against his chest, stopping him as he goes to lean in again. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."
"I do, though," he quickly defends, placing his hand over yours. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and how I'm so stupid to have lost what we had."
"Really?" You ask, allowing yourself to gaze into his eyes.
"Yeah," he nods. "You're the last person I ever wanted to hurt and I'm sorry for being such a dumbass."
His apology makes you crack a smile and he thinks you've never looked prettier.
"It was always you," he breathily continues as you cradle his face. "I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it."
"I just... don't want you to ever hate me..." he quietly admits, as you slowly pull him towards you.
"I could never hate you," you softly reassure, right before your lips touch.
"Promise?" He whispers, almost muffled, against your lips.
"I promise."
You each then melt into an overdue kiss. His perfect nose presses against your cheek while your fingers curl in the ends of his damp hair.
"Fuck, honey, I've missed you so much," he breathes, between kisses.
You sigh his name, needing to feel more of him. You break the kiss, leaving him dazed and panting, while you carefully maneuver yourself onto his lap. Your knees press against the hard plastic of the bench underneath him, but you don't mind how it feels when Steve's hands are immediately on your hips, helping to guide your movements.
You lean in to kiss him again, and he's already moaning into your mouth with every grind of your hips. You smile, against his cheek, as you press kisses across it, kissing your way to his jawline.
You feel his wet fingertips glide up your back before his nails dig into your skin when he feels you lightly nibble on his neck.
"Did you miss this too, Stevie?" You coo, glancing up at him.
He nods before his eyes roll back from another grind of your hips.
"No one else ever really took the time to find out what you liked, did they? So many selfish lovers... though I thought that's what you wanted?" You ask, your voice sickeningly sweet.
He groans when he feels your lips at his ear.
"Someone as selfish as you," you whisper, before softly biting his earlobe.
You feel him shudder underneath you, so painfully hard and desperate for either some friction or release.
"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?" He then shakily asks, as you pull away to look into his eyes.
You shift slightly, freeing up both hands so you can place them on each side of his pretty face. You lean in again, lips just close enough to tease when you reply, "Nope."
"I'm sorry, honey, alright? I'll apologize all night if I have to..." he rasps, sounding as if he's on the verge of tears.
"I just might make you," you smile, enjoying your newfound power over Steve Harrington.
"Let me make it up to you," he pleads, lowering his hands back down to your hips. "I'll spend the night with you... the whole weekend if that's what it takes for you to forgive me."
"You really care about me that much?" You ask, combing your fingers through his hair.
He nods. "Let's go inside and I'll show you just how much."
You're both then scrambling into your house. Little droplets of water fall from your bodies as you hurry up the stairs. The towels around your shoulders doing little to prevent water from dripping everywhere.
The house is also quite chilly, as you had the A/C cranked up all day, so you're shivering as you enter your bedroom. You stand next to your bed, clutching your towel around you, while Steve stands in front of you. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you to him.
"Oh no, honey, are you cold?" He asks, cupping your cheek, with his other hand.
You nod, timidly, your earlier attitude seemingly nonexistent.
"I'll have to warm you up then," he replies, before pressing his lips to yours.
He pushes your towel from your shoulders, and it joins his on the floor. You whimper into the kiss when you feel his large palm flat against your back before his hand ventures lower. He gives your ass a good squeeze, earning another whimper from you.
You then feel him grinning as his hands continue to roam your body.
"You're so fuckin' sexy in this, it's driving me crazy," he breathes, after temporarily breaking the kiss. "I kinda want you to leave it on while I fuck you..."
You sigh his name before pulling him into another kiss. It's messy and desperate as you lay back on your bed, with him on top of you.
He nestles himself perfectly between your legs, and now it's his turn to tease you. He grinds himself against you, the thin material you're both wearing making it more tortuous until you feel him move the crotch of your bathing suit to the side.
You're already squirming under him as you raise your hips, chasing the movement of his fingers.
He's smiling again, unable to hide how smug he feels as he just glides his fingers over you.
"Not so tough now, are you?" He purrs, against your cheek, while your hands are already twisting in his hair.
You try to speak, but he stops you.
"Its okay. I deserved it, and like I said, I'm gonna spend all night making it up to you."
He presses a couple wet kisses to your cheek, before slipping two of his long fingers inside you. You're already moaning at the stretch and the way he's suckling on your neck.
"Shit, honey, you're tighter than I remember..." he pants, sounding as ragged as you feel. "Guess no one else fucked you like I did, huh?"
You shake your head. "N-No, just you, Steve..." Your voice trails off into a series of moans as he adds another finger.
"Didn't think so," he says, glancing up at you.
"Look at me, honey," he softly commands, and once you open your eyes you see how he's gazing at you with complete adoration.
"So fuckin' pretty," he breathes, before crashing his lips to yours.
Your nails claw at his biceps as he mouths at your jaw. He buries his face in your neck, then flicks his tongue over a newly formed hickie. He plans to leave several more all over your body, wanting to cover you in little reminders that you're his girl again, and always will be.
You moan his name, your hand gripping his wrist when you feel the familiar waves of pleasure building.
"This is all for you, honey, remember?" He reminds, breathless. "I have to earn your forgiveness, even if it takes all night..."
You throw your head back, against your pretty, pink pillow as the most intense orgasm you've ever had washes over you.
Steve's lips are at your ear, talking you through it, praising you for how good you are for him.
His words have you biting your lip and squirming all over again. You gaze at him dreamily as he places his fingers between his lips. A soft moan escapes him as he tastes you.
"Just as sweet as I remember," he grins, before you grab his smug face and pull him in for a kiss.
You're moaning for him all over again when you taste yourself on his tongue.
"So, how am I doing so far? Want me to still spend the night?" He quietly asks, still breathless.
"What do you think, Harrington?" You snarkily reply, running your fingers through his tousled hair, before pulling slightly.
With a groan, he kisses you again, knowing you're both in for a long night.
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Heartbeat pt.2
Summary: After starting a situationship with your best friend from high school, things start to become complicated. Especially when you start to catch feelings.
Jaehyun x Reader
Haechan x Reader (In pt2 and 3 ) w.c: 12.2k
Genre: Comedy, Romance, Smut, Angst, Fluff
Warnings: Protected sex (they wrap it before they tap it, what a concept!, Mentions of oral (f.receiving ), sexual themes, drinking, degrading (not during sex though so proceed with caution), a couple arguments, Jaehyun is kinda dick in this part sorry, rejection, trying to kiss someone without their consent, if i missed anything please comment but i think that’s it!
Playlist: ♡
<- Previous Part
It was about a month after the beach and you were on one of several failed dates. You wondered if you were doomed to just never have a partner at this point as you walked away from your date. You were also starting to think that maybe Jaehyun raised your standards too high, but you also knew your worth and knew what you deserved. Speaking of him, he was calling.
“Hey,” You sighed out, hopping on the bus back to your campus.
“Oh, you sound disappointed. Was it that bad?” You could only chuckle at how even over the phone he could tell when something was wrong. That was just good best friend behavior you figured.
“It wasn’t bad, he's just a little self absorbed. The whole time he just kept talking about how he was valedictorian in high school and all his awards and accolades.” You explained at a hushed volume out of respect for the other riders. “Then he went on to talk about the game he’s developing and how it’s already been kickstarted by some sponsors. The game part was interesting but it was the damn “me” show about high school when he’s a whole junior in college.”
“Yeesh, sounds boring. Well I have something that might cheer you up and get you some action.” Jaehyun spoke, there was some rustling in the background so you figured he was still in bed.
“I’m listening.”
“Alphas are having a party tonight, theme is cartoon characters, so if you take the bus to my place we could go out and go shopping, pregame, and then head over.” That sounded intriguing and like just what you needed to forget about this yet again unsuccessful date.
“I do need to stop at my dorm for makeup though, so can you pick me up there?” Jaehyun made an affirmative humming sound from the other side of the line.
“Yeah, I'll be there in ten.”
—————————————————————————
The party was in full swing, and you could successfully say that your pregaming had you feeling good. You were dressed as Bloom from Winx Club You managed to find a blue minidress in your closet so that eliminated part of your outfit. When you and Jaehyun went shopping you also found some wings and a tiara and before you knew it your costume was complete.
At the moment you were dancing with some guy you couldn’t remember the name of; loving the way his hands felt on you. He had his chest to your back and was using his hands to help you grind back against him. The song wasn’t even that kind of song but in your state it just felt right. Everything felt perfect and everything about your dance partner was so attractive, his jet black hair, his sun kissed skin, and the moles scattered across his face only added to his beauty. His voice sent shivers down your spine as he whispered things in your ear the things he wanted to do to you and you couldn’t deny that you wanted those things done to you. You were on cloud nine, feeling numb enough to not notice the pair of eyes that was watching you and your dance partner, but conscious enough to know that you wanted the man behind you.
“You’re so gorgeous, can’t believe you didn’t come with anyone.” Ok, maybe you had failed to mention that you came to this party with Jae, but you weren’t together so that didn’t really matter. Besides he left you the second you walked through the doors, so as far as you were concerned you were just friends who happened to be at the same party.
“I could say the same for you too, honestly.” You weren’t lying either, maybe he was a serial killer and that's why he didn’t have someone. People like him did tend to be serial killers, charismatic, handsome; were you dancing with a serial killer?
“Let’s go back to my place babe,” he whispered in your ear, voice low and raspy, “I’ll show you a better time than this lame party.” Saying no was the last thing on your mind as you allowed the pretty stranger to lead you away from the crowds and loud bass reverberating through the cramped house. Even if he did turn out to be a serial killer at least you got to have a good time before you died.
—————————————————————————
You could confidently say that Donghyuck wasn’t a serial killer. You could only say that because you were in his bed being given what you could only classify as your best lay since Jaehyun and not dead in a field somewhere. Words weren’t the only thing he was smooth with, you could name about three other things on top of that. One of them was his dick, which was currently in you. Unlike most men you’ve fucked after parties, Donghyuck took his time with you; bringing you to orgasm once from his tongue and fingers before he finally entered you. Needless to say, you were in a state of pure ecstasy and didn’t want it to stop anytime soon.
“Hyuck-, fuck, feels good…” Your nails were digging into the skin of his shoulders, no doubt leaving marks, but that seemed to only spur him on. You could feel every drag of his cock against your walls as he pulled out almost to the tip before thrusting back in roughly. You could hear every whimper and whine he was letting out which was slightly muffled by the pillow his head was buried in. Judging from the way he ate you out earlier, you could tell he was getting off of the fact that you felt good too and it almost stirred something in you.
“You’re so gorgeous, you sound so pretty for me.” His voice was a bit husky in your ear, but still had that nasal lilt to it that you found so attractive. You could tell he was close by how his thrusts were starting to grow erratic and less calculated, somehow he was still managing to hit your g-spot dead on, despite his clear fatigue. As if he knew he wasn’t going to last long enough to pull another orgasm out of you, he quickly moved his hand between your bodies to start rubbing roughly at your clit. You couldn’t help the loud moan that came from you as he continued the onslaught of pleasure but moving his mouth down to your neck again to suck hickeys onto your neck. “Fuck, come on baby, give it to me.” It felt like his permission was all you needed to let go for a second time that night and only seconds later he was following you, moaning your name out into the silence of his apartment as his thrusts came to a stop.
Donghyuck finally rolled off of you after a few minutes, five of which those seven minutes consisted of a slow makeout session as you came down from your highs. You could feel his eyes on you, so you turned to face him, giving him an awkward smile. “I’ll call an Uber.” You figured that’s why he was looking at you, and before you could exit the bed he grabbed your wrist.
“You hungry?”
A pregnant pause.
“I could eat.”
—————————————————————————
Sitting in a Dennys at 2:00 AM is not how you expected your night to end. You and Donghyuck had spent the better part of an hour talking and getting to know each other. He was easy to talk to, and funny, you didn’t feel like you were forcing any of your reactions which made you feel a lot more at ease than usual.
“Wait, you're Haechan? The streamer?” Donghyuck nodded, shoveling a scoop of hash browns into his mouth. “That’s so fucking crazy, my best friend loves your streams. We used to fuck and I remember one time he got the notification for your stream and stopped mid fuck to watch you.” Donghyuck nearly choked on the strip of bacon he was munching on.
“Please tell me you’re joking.” You shook your head. “That’s so sick, did he at least like pick up where he left off while watching?” Another shake.
“I had to push him on his back and ride him.” Donghyuck laughed loudly, catching the attention of most of the other late night eaters, but it was clear he didn’t care.
“Now that I think about it, there was this one time I read a comment and it deadass said ‘I was fucking my girl and stopped to watch.’ I thought it was probably a troll, but that might’ve been him.”
You scoffed, shaking your head once again. “There’s no way that was him, he would never refer to me as ‘his girl’ it would be kind of funny if that was him though.” Donghyuck hummed in agreement, it was all he could do since he didn’t even know Jaehyun.
There was a small awkward silence filled only with the sounds of plates clinking and light chatter from the other patrons. Donghyuck looked like he was having a debate with himself befofe hr finally opened his mouth. “Look, uhm, I don’t usually do this, I honestly don’t usually take my hookups to pre-breakfast either, but I was wondering if I could get your number?”
You were a bit shocked. You thought maybe this was normal and Donghyuck was just one of those nice guys who treated his fucks to post coiatal meals. Hearing otherwise brought a bit of heat to your cheeks.
“So uh… is that a no? Don’t leave me hanging here.”
“Oh no, wait no, I mean yes! Yes… you can have my number.”
—————————————————————————
“You’ve been smiling at your phone a lot lately. You and big head aren’t fucking again right?” Minjeong was doing your nails on the floor of your dorm, and you were definitely making it hard since you were texting Donghyuck with the hand she was trying to get you to dry.
“Of course not. I’m texting a new guy, I met him at that party me and Jae went to.” Minjeong perked up at the mention of a new guy. Talks like these reminded you of being a teenager, but they were always relaxing. You seriously owed Minjeong some girl time anyway with how far up Jaehyun’s ass you had been for the past year.
“So what’s his name?”
“Donghyuck, he goes here obviously, also get this, ” Minjeong leaned in “he’s that streamer that Jae likes a lot.”
“No way!?” Minjeong gasped, she accidentally swiped a little polish on your finger, but you didn’t mind.
You nodded, smiling basically ear to ear. “Yes way, and he’s so cute. He’s telling me how he wants to take me on a date this weekend!” You closed your phone to give Minjeong your undivided attention while she swiped acetone over her previous mistake.
“I’m happy for you, I know I was kind of an ass with all the ‘I told you so’, but I really just wanted you to be with someone who treats you for what you’re worth.” You knew that, but hearing it felt really good. You always knew Minjeong was just looking out for you, but she also knew that whatever you felt for Jaehyun wasn’t going away like magic. Even now you sometimes felt a twinge of what you used to when he did certain things, but it wasn’t as strong as it was a month ago.
“It’s ok Minnie, I know you only had my best interest.” You brought your nails hand up to blow on the wet polish. “Look on the bright side though, I went through all that and now I've learned my lesson. No more wasting time or energy on people who don’t deserve it.”
Minjeong jostled your shoulder, “That’s my girl.”
—————————————————————————
A week later you were with Donghyuck in his apartment, playing a co-op game called “it takes two” that he specifically bought for the date. He turned on his twitch to stream, but he left his mic off to enjoy the moment with you. He was ticking so many boxes and even Minjeong gave him the stamp of approval when he met her a couple hours ago. Everything today was perfect, he bought you flowers, ordered from your favorite takeout place and even surprised you with slippers for you to wear around the apartment. You had been seeing each other for about a month now so you figured he would be asking you to be his girlfriend soon, but you were in no rush. His gestures meant the world to you and even then just his presence was enough for you to feel satisfied.
Now the two of you were snuggled up side by side, controllers in hand and your head on his shoulder. Nothing could ruin this moment, nothing except your phone which had been buzzing on the nightstand for a good two minutes. “Hey babe, I can pause if you wanna get that?” You looked up at Donghyuck with a small pout before shaking your head. You felt bad that whoever was calling you clearly didn’t get the memo that you were busy.
“We can keep playing, I’ll talk and play, m’sorry.” Donghyuck waved it off as he waited for you to answer your phone. You rolled your eyes slightly when you saw Jaehyun’s photo, but still answered the facetime call. “What’s up loser?” You sounded less than enthused, but he should’ve expected that since you ignored his calls for two minutes.
“God what crawled up your ass and died weirdo and why aren’t you showing your face?” Jaehyun scoffed as if his facetime screen wasn’t paused.
“Just the fact that you’ve been calling me for two minutes. What the fuck did you want? I’m kinda busy.” You cursed under your breath since you and Donghyuck failed the game stage for the fifth time.
“First of all, I wanted to see if you wanted to grab dinner and come watch a movie, I’ll buy obviously. Second of all, if you’re gonna lie about being busy at least make it believable, I can hear you playing a game in the background.” Jaehyun had some fucking nerve assuming you would lie to him about being busy, but you weren’t gonna fight about it. You were gonna be civil. Even though Donghyuck had heard the way you and Jaehyun talked to each other before, he was a little annoyed that the other man was accusing you of lying.
“Jae, I’m on a date and we’re playing a game, so I actually am very busy.
“Wait… are you playing ‘it takes two’?” Jaehyun didn’t know about Donghyuck. He knew you had been on dates, but since he didn’t ask who with, you didn’t bother telling him it was Donghyuck A.K.A. his favorite streamer.
“Yeah, with my date.” You knew you sounded like a bitch, but you didn’t care. Jaehyun had barely been hanging out with you and even then it seemed like he only wanted to when he was bored. You were trying to follow Minjeong’s and your own advice and stop wasting time on people that don’t deserve it.
“If you’re actually playing a game with your date, show your face and his, then show the tv.” You were so close to hanging up on Jaehyun, but when you saw the screen pause and suddenly your phone was being held up by Donghyuck.
Donghyuck didn’t look happy. All of the irritation must have been building up to a point where even Jaehyun looked concerned. “Look, Jaehyun, I get it, you’re bored. I’m sure you miss having Y/N at your beck and call because you knew she would drop anything for you before.” Jaehyun opened his mouth to speak, but one glare from Donghyuck had him closing it immediately. “Those times are past and whatever sick game you’re playing at needs to stop. Got it?” The silence on the line was loud, Donghyuck knew he made his point. “Good. Now I’m going to go back to playing games with my girlfriend, enjoy the stream Jaehyun.” With that he pressed the end call button with a sigh and immediately after you were straddling the man.
“Girlfriend huh?”
Donghyuck set his controller down and placed his hands on your hips, it was all he could do to look cool despite the blush rushing his face. “Yeah uhm… I was going to ask you later during pillow talk after some earth shattering sex, but this is cool too I guess.”
You giggled, placing a kiss on his cheek. “This is cool too, don’t worry. We can still have earth shattering sex but now as boyfriend and girlfriend.” It was Donghyuck’s turn to giggle now. “Do you want to keep playing, we could even turn on the mic?”
Haechan shook his head, “No I think it’s time for that earth shattering sex we were talking about.” You bit your lip trying to suppress a laugh, he was so goofy and hot at the same time, you didn’t understand how anyone could be capable of that.
“I think that can be arranged…boyfriend.”
—————————————————————————
“He told you off?” Mark nearly yelled, catching the attention of several of the other students in the library.
“Dude keep it down, we’re in a library.” Johnny reminded before focusing back on his music theory assignment.
“Sorry, he told you off?” Mark asked again this time in a more suitable whisper.
“Yes, and she didn’t say shit bro, she just let him.” Jaehyun grumbled, taking a chip from the bag Johnny had managed to smuggle in.
Johnny was pretty unamused with the entire situation, given that he asked if the two men wanted to study in the library, but had basically been talking the whole time. “Have you ever thought that maybe she’s over how you treat her. I know you think you’re like bestie of the year, but you literally evaded her feelings for at least 6 months just so you would have an easy fuck.”
Jaehyun scoffed, “Remind me to stop telling you about my problems.” Johnny simply rolled his eyes before training them back on the score in front of him.
“I mean he has a point. You knew she caught feelings a while ago, and your agreement was to break it off, but you kept everything up. Plus you were the one who kept fucking with her and being all domestic, she’s probably traumatized.” Jaehyun shot a glare at Mark; he did not come here to be ganged up on.
“She can’t be but so traumatized since she spends all her time with Haechan, or Donghyuck, whatever the fuck his name is.” Mark and Johnny looked ready to hit their heads against the table, but clearly this was a delicate situation that needed to be nurtured and cared for so that Jaehyun would actually get some sense.
“Jae, buddy, pal, old friend if you will.”
“Get to the point Johnathan.”
Johnny sighed, “See the point is, she’s in a relationship now. You had your 15 minutes of fame where she basically avoided getting into something because she was holding out hope for you. Now, she’s tired of waiting. She wants something that makes her feel loved and worth it and frankly, your bare minimum effort of taking her back to your place to watch a movie and then fuck, isn’t cutting it.”
“Bars.” Mark fist bumped Johnny, adding an explosion sound effect at the end.
“You guys are losers. She didn’t seem to be complaining about the movie and fuck a couple months ago.” Mark cringed and Johnny simply shook his head at the way their friend could so shamelessly talk about you like that.
“Jaehyun, listen to yourself, you sound delusional. She may not have been complaining, but that’s also because if she did you would’ve had to break all of that off. You’re acting like she broke up with you when the two of you weren’t even together in the first place.” Johnny’s volume was starting to increase, but he couldn’t help it, he wasn’t the closest to you, but he refused to let Jaehyun disrespect you like this. “Also you literally only text or call her now when we can’t hang out. Do you think that makes her feel good?” Jaehyun opened his mouth, but Johnny cut him off. “Don’t answer that because I know you’re about to say some bullshit. You need to get with the program and stop treating her like some play thing that you decide to pick up everytime your other toys are broken!” Johnny finished closing his laptop and packing up his belongings.
“Dude, where are you going?” Jaehyun groaned before looking at Mark who was following in Johnny’s actions. “You too? Come on!”
Mark just shook his head, slinging his backpack over his shoulder before speaking again. “Dude, you have some serious soul searching to do. We don’t mind if you vent, but the way you talk about and treat her is sick.” Jaehyun just clicked his teeth in response to the younger man.
“Whatever.” Jaehyun stood up from the table and stormed out of the library.
“He needs to get laid.”
“Totally.” Mark agreed.
—————————————————————————
“How in the fuck do you remember all of these bones?” Donghyuck asked, leaning over from behind you at all the flash cards you had laid out.
“I print out flashcards for all of them and corresponding pictures and play matching games.” You responded, matching the humerus card to its corresponding photo. Donghyuck puffed out a laugh before kissing you on the cheek and walking into the kitchen to assess what he could make for dinner.
“So do you want ramen or ramen tonight?” He asked, peeking out his head from behind the cabinet.
“Oh, what about ramen? I saw a recipe for it the other day.”
Donghyuck hummed while grabbing two packets out of the cabinet. “Sounds good!”
You and Donghyuck had been spending a lot more time together since you officially got together. Most nights were spent at his apartment, to the point where he cleared out a drawer as well as closet space for some of your clothes. You hadn’t heard much from Jaehyun, but you weren’t surprised. You heard from Mark that he had been moody lately so you just figured he was in some funk he needed to get over.
“Babe, how mad would you be if I got lazy and ordered chicken instead of cooking.” Donghyuck materialized behind you at some point, startling you. He laughed a little at your shocked state, not for long though as he brought his hands down to your shoulders and began massaging them, relieving all your tension.
“I would be a little upset because you said I could pay for the next meal.” You craned your neck to look up at him, putting on your best pout. Donghyuck made a few dramatic facial expressions as if he was a cartoon character trying to resist something. You played along, jutting your bottom lip out farther and making your eyes bigger and as if you had shocked him he went flying back. You turned around to see him on the floor clutching his heart and couldn’t help but giggle at his dramatics.
“Girlfriend pout, very effective, health level critical.” Donghyuck made his voice more scratchy as he writhed around on the floor. He made eye contact with you and you shot him another pout which seemed to do it since he went limp on the floor, sticking his tongue out as an ending flourish.
You stood up from the table and joined Donghyuck on the floor. You leaned down to connect your lips to his cheek and he sat up so quick you almost bumped foreheads.
“Kiss of revival, full health restored!”
“You’re such a dork.”
“Yeah your dork.” Donghyuck stated matter of factly you couldn’t help but nod in agreement as you placed another kiss on his lips this time.
“Yes my dork, now do you want soy garlic or plain?” Donghyuck looked at you as if he was offended. “Soy garlic it is, go make some rice dork, I’ll order some kimchi too since we ran out.”
“I like the sound of that.” Donghyuck hummed out, kissing your shoulder.
“Of course you do, it’s hard to forget how much you like kimchi, you’ve gone through two of those big ass jars in a month. It’s a bit concerning actually, how is your stomach not fucked up?
Donghyuck made a sound of disagreement, which made you raise an eyebrow. Did he even hear anything you said?
“No not that, I liked when you said ‘we ran out’ s’cute, like we’re married.” You didn’t even realize you said that which made you blush, maybe you were getting a little too comfortable.
Obviously Donghyuck didn’t mind, he seemed to like the pace you were moving at, and you did too, but you didn’t realize how easily you were slipping into the domesticated lifestyle. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was just surprising, you never thought you would act like that with anyone other than Jaehyun. Now that you were here and got to share it with someone that actually wanted you, it felt nice.
“Marriage is a little extreme.” You pulled up the delivery app on your phone, hoping the harsh light would conceal your blush.
“This early on, I suppose, yeah. After a year or two, though, maybe it won’t seem as extreme.” Donghyuck was now sitting behind you, his chin hooked over your shoulder.
A small pause filled the air.
“Food’s ordered! I need to keep studying so you need to let go.”
Donghyuck whined loud and dramatically, the nasally sound which would probably be annoying to most made you smile.
“Look, not all of us are nerdy CS majors.” You kissed his cheek before attempting to stand up and return to the table, but Donghycuk was weighing you down. “Hyuck, come on. The sooner you let me study, the sooner we can go to bed and cuddle.”
“What if I don’t want to cuddle?” His voice was suddenly darker which made you gulp a little.
“We can do that too, but not until I finish studying. The longer you keep me here, the longer you have to wait.” Donghyuck paused for a moment before ultimately letting you go.
“You better give me the most mind boggling head later.”
You couldn’t help but scoff as you sat back at the table, continuing your matching game. “I can do more than that, don’t worry. If you keep distracting me though, you won’t be getting anything.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” Donghyuck was glaring at you from the sink where he was washing rice.
“Try me Donghyuck.”
It was all playful banter, but Donghyuck didn’t bother you after that. Unlike Jaehyun, he actually understood that you needed to pass your classes. You never realized how behind you always were until you were with Donghyuck. Anytime you needed to study he didn’t pressure you into keeping him entertained or rush your studying. Jaehyun did exactly the opposite and while it didn’t always bother you, there were definitely times you wished he wasn’t so pushy.
After about 45 minutes your food finally arrived and you also felt like you were in a good enough position to stop studying. Your test was in a couple of days, but you needed to stay on top of everything so you didn’t fall behind. Donghyuck prepared both your plates while you put your flashcards away and the two of you ate in a comfortable silence before retiring to his room for the night .
—————————————————————————
A month and a half later you were at another party. The end of the semester Greek life kickback was in full swing and Donghyuck of course knew a few people who were able to get the both of you in. Since you and Donghyuck were still together, you decided that you would spend your summer with him. Usually you would go home and Jaehyun would drive you to visit, but since the two of you hadn’t spoken since your last “fight” your plans changed. You and Donghyuck still planned to go home to introduce him to your parents at some point, but for now the two of you were basking in the last light of your honeymoon phase.
Currently you and Donghyuck were outside by the fire pit, smushed together on a hammock as you nursed the shitty alcohol provided by the frat. You met a few of his friends that were in the frat, and all of you were enjoying the night together.
“Wait hold on, he took you out to denny's after and asked you out there?” Chenle, one of the frat brothers and Donghyuck’s friend, asked incredulously.
“Yes, I mean I just thought it was normal for him, but then he told me otherwise. It was kinda cute honestly.” You glanced over at Donghyuck who seemed less than amused with the topic.
“Dude you gotta work on your game.” Jeno commented, taking a sip from his cup.
“Where else was I gonna take her at 2 in the morning?”
“He has a point.” Jaemin said from beside you. He was the reason you and Donghyuck were basically on top of each other on the hammock.
“I mean maybe ask after sex like a normal person or order a pizza and ask. Who makes someone get up and go out after blowing their back out.” Chenle argued, spilling his drink slightly as he talked with his hands.
“I was trying to impress her a bit, pizza is so cliche, also I was trying to make sure she didn’t dip after; pizza in the apartment gives someone the chance to dip.”
You couldn’t help but giggle as they argued about you as if you weren’t there, but it was entertaining to watch them all go back and forth.
“Ok you have a point, she definitely could’ve dipped. Would you have dipped?” Chenle directed his attention back to you.
“I mean like you said I had just gotten my back blown out, so probably not.”
“See! You could’ve done pizza.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes at his friend, but ultimately relinquished the fight by putting his hands up.
“I have to pee really quick, I’ll be back. Does anyone need another drink while I'm gone?” You asked as you struggled to stand up from the hammock.
“I’ll take one, just ask for one of the pitchers, they’ll give it to you if you mention my name.” You nodded at Jeno before making your way into the noisy house.
The music was so loud you could feel the house shaking around you, and pushing through all the sweaty bodies was making the experience all the more overwhelming. You knew there was a bathroom on the second floor that was only for frat members, but Jeno and Chenle told you no one would even notice you use it, let alone go upstairs. You regretted wearing a short dress since you had to pull it down with basically every step you took, but Donghyuck had gifted it to you, so it would’ve felt wrong not wearing it. After pushing through for about two minutes you finally saw the stairs, but before you could take the first step you felt someone grabbing your wrist.
“What the fuck!” You looked behind you to see who had the audacity and you almost wish you hadn’t.
Jaehyun was there, holding your wrist before pulling you into his chest. He wrecked of alcohol and sweat, the smell leaving a sour taste in your mouth as you tried to pull away.
“Y/N, I missed you. Where have you been?” His words were slurred and he wore a small smirk on his face. The same smirk that used to reel you in made you feel nothing, it honestly disgusted you.
“With my boyfriend, now if you could let me go I need to pee.”
“Still? Come on, we need to catch up.” Jaehyun’s grip on your wrist didn’t falter, no matter how much you tugged against his grip.
“Jae, please let go.” You were trying to keep your voice firm, but you were starting to become distressed. You left your phone with Donghyuck so you couldn’t text him for help and the music was too loud to even think about screaming. You only had one option truthfully. “Jae, just let me use the bathroom and then we can talk.” Your ultimatum seemed to please him because he loosened his grip enough for you to slip away and up the stairs.
You locked the door immediately after you entered the bathroom. You hoped Jaehyun wasn’t so drunk that he wouldn’t try to come in, but you had no idea at this point. You looked across from the door, praying there was a window that you could yell out of to get your boyfriend’s attention, but when you were met with a white wall you lost all hope. For now you just focused on peeing, maybe Donghyuck would come inside and look for you after noticing how long you’d been gone.
“Hurry up!” Loud banging on the door followed by Jaehyun’s slurred speech startled you as you were washing your hands. You hoped he hadn’t followed you, but of course he did, of course he was behind that door banging on it like a maniac. “If you don’t come out, I’m coming in!”
You groaned loudly and opened the door, pulling the taller man in. He was still wearing that stupid smirk on his face as he looked down at you.
“You’re still so easy.”
“What?”
You couldn’t believe your ears. It really was a game to him at this point. He sounded completely sober, was he playing you this entire time?
“You sure you like this guy, you opened that door pretty easily. Just admit that you wanted to mess around like old times, I won’t be mad.” Jaehyun stepped closer to you as he spoke, cornering you to the point that your back was painfully pressed against the sink. “Let’s just start again, I’m sure you got over what was going through your head back then. Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss me, miss being my girl?” He leaned in closer and you could feel your breaths mingling the closer he got to you.
You a few months ago might’ve reacted differently. You probably would’ve kissed him and fallen into his sheets just like every other time. Would’ve gone back to your dorm and cried to Minjeong and Ten like a baby. You were tired of falling and crying though. Tired of letting Jaehyun constantly have his way with you because he knew you would never say no.
“Get the fuck off of me!” Using all your strength you pushed him off. “You do not get to ghost me for almost two months and then suddenly decide you want me back in your life. You’re a selfish piece of shit who only wants to be around me when you’re bored or horny!” Jaehyun opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “I’m happy with Donghyuck and I'm sorry you can’t accept that, but it’s the truth. I’m not leaving him anytime soon and even if I did it won’t be for you.”
“You say that, but I’m sure when he breaks your heart like all the others, you’ll be back in my bed.”
“Fuck you!” You seethed before storming out of the bathroom. You could feel tears brimming in your eyes. You felt so stupid, at least you stood up for yourself, but he still knew how to play you like a fiddle and it infuriated you.
You couldn’t make it all the way down the stairs before bumping into someone’s chest. You mumbled a quick apology as you tried to pull away but a pair of hands held firmly at your shoulders. Not again was all you could think as you tried to push whoever was holding you. “Get the fuck off!” You sounded like you were throwing a tantrum, but you had hit your limit after being cornered and then belittled by your so-called best friend.
“Hey, babe, it’s just me, calm down? You were gone for a while and I got worr— hey why are you crying?” Ducking your head was the best attempt you could make at trying to hide from Donghyuck. It was futile but you didn’t want to really relive the things Jaehyun had said to you. “Baby, what happened?”
“Nothing, let’s go back outside.”
Donghyuck grimaced, but didn’t push any further as he took your hand. Pushing through the sweaty bodies wasn’t as bad this time with his hand warm in yours. You were scared Jaehyun would catch up with you in the kitchen, but hopefully he wouldn’t cause a scene seeing you with Donghyuck. Finally the two of you were back outside with Donghyuck’s friends. The air thankfully didn’t shift, despite your mood and it made it easier to take your mind off of what had happened earlier.
—————————————————————————
“So you gonna tell me what happened up there?”
The blinking from the turn signal felt much louder in the silence of the car. Red illuminated the car like a spotlight and it was pointed on you. You could either stay silent and pretend to sleep like you had been doing the entire ride home, or speak and confirm what Donghyuck already knew.
“It was stupid.”
“You’re such a liar. Clearly it wasn’t that stupid if you won’t talk about it.”
Silence.
He was right, to you it wasn’t stupid it sucked, but you didn’t want to get Donghyuck riled up. You knew if you told him he’d get pissed, although there was nothing he could do now since the part and Jaehyun were so far behind you.
“It was just Jae being an ass again. That’s all.”
Out of the corner of your eye you saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten.
“What did he do?”
“Donghyuck it’s fin-”
“What did he do!?”
You couldn’t help but flinch. His tone was harsh; it was the first time he’d ever raised his voice at you.
“I’m not angry at you. I just want to know what happened.” Donghyuck sighed, features softening as he rubbed a stress-filled hand down his face. “I’m tired of him disrespecting you and our relationship.”
“If I tell you… what are you gonna do?” Jaehyun was still your best friend at the end of the day. He pissed you off but no matter how horrible he was you couldn’t help but care for him.
“It depends on what he did.” He glanced over at you just as the light turned green.
Now your red spotlight was being replaced by spotty harsh yellows and whites as you drove through the sleepy streets of your college town. It was still yours despite the erratic flickering, but it felt more like an interrogation light they way it would suddenly flash on and off.
“I mean it’s like you said, he disrespected me and our relationship…” Maybe this would be enough for him?
“Y/N, stop being vague.”
A sigh and another awkward pregnant silence filled the space.
“He pretended he was drunk and tried to kiss me after cornering me in the bathroom.” You wouldn’t dare look at Donghyuck. Even though you didn’t cheat you still felt so dirty letting Jaehyun talk to you like that. You didn’t understand why you thought you’d be able to have a civil conversation with the way he’s been acting lately. Some part of you kept holding out hope that things could go back to how they were in high school, but each day that went by proved that it could never be the same.
“When we get home, I want his number.”
“Hyuck, it’s over, can we please drop it?”
You didn’t even notice that you were now parked in the garage under his apartment.
“No, I already told you I’m tired of him disrespecting you.” You could tell he was trying his best not to raise his voice. “I’m tired of him acting like a child just because he’s upset at something he did. You didn’t break things off, he did, so he can’t be upset at you for moving on.”
“I know…I just-”
“You just what? You just don’t want to hurt his feelings? Because he’s, oh let me guess: your best friend?” You opened your mouth, but Donghyuck’s voice was filling the suffocating space instead of your own. “ He’s not your best friend anymore Y/N, if anything he's more like a frenemy. He only cares about you when it benefits him. Wake up!”
You felt like you were being choked by the truth. You knew he was right, but your stupid pride didn’t want to admit that. Jaehyun cared about you, he was just being weird. Granted he had been weird since you started fucking, but that was the besides the point. He had to still care about you deep down, a friendship like yours can’t just fall apart like that. Can it?
“Look I’m not gonna keep lecturing you, but I’m also not gonna take shit like this lightly. You and Jaehyun need to have a conversation about this shit, because the next time it happens, I will beat his ass.” Donghyuck slammed the door leaving you alone in the car. Alone with your thoughts and your phone.
Ring
Ring
Ring
“Hello?”
“Jae…”
“Hmm?”
“We need to talk.”
—————————————————————————
“So Y/N is spending the break with her boyfriend?”
Jaehyun didn’t want to hear about you anymore. Your talk didn’t go bad per say, but his guilty conscience wouldn’t get any better the more you were talked about. The talk was filled with tears and apologies, and ultimately Jaehyun agreed to give you some space. After some much needed reflecting he realized that Johnny and Mark were ultimately right, which he hated to admit, but deep down he always knew they were.
“Yeah, they really hit it off, she told me she's visiting next month though.” Jaehyun answered, pushing around the large shell noodles on his plate, as if something new would appear underneath the creamy sauce the plate was drenched in.
“Oh good, I’ll give her mom a ring and see if we could have a nice dinner all together? I’d love to meet this boy, he sounds lovely based on what Y/MN (your mother’s name) has told me!” He loved that his mother was excited for you, it was only natural. She considered you like the daughter she never had, and you considered her like your second mother.
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Honey, you’ve been off since you got home, what’s wrong?” Curse mother’s intuition.
“I just messed up. Me and Y/N had a falling out, but it was my fault.” The fork made an ugly screech across the plate. “Mom…I think I’m in love with her.”
The gasp of shock he was expecting never came so Jaehyun was finally forced to meet gazes with his mom.
“Oh sweetie…I know. I’ve known for a long time.” He didn’t know why he expected her not to. Moms always know when somethings up. “Jae, your lack of dating through college was enough evidence. Also I was young once too, playing footsies under the table and then going on a “walk” is not the most amazing cover up.”
Jaehyun groaned, wishing he could disappear, but he should’ve known his mother was more perceptive than he gave her credit for. “Please try to forget about that, but yeah we had a fling, kind of, it's complicated.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jaehyun only nodded in response. “I’ll bring out some dessert and tea.”
True to her word Jaehyun was now sitting with a large piece of cake and a steaming cup of tea, while recounting some of his very shameful behavior to his mother.
“And now we’re not really talking much. I check on her here and there, but we don’t call like we used to. We haven’t hung out one on one in months truthfully.” Jaehyun was treating his cake almost like his half eaten pasta at the moment, smushing it around like a child who didn’t want to eat their veggies.
“I don’t blame her for not talking to you honestly.” His mother sighed, taking a small sip from her tea. “You do have a good one though, you’re lucky she hasn’t cut you off.”
“I know… I just don’t know what to do though. Like I'm just supposed to let her slip from my fingers and be fine with it?”
Mrs. Jeong clicked her tongue and gave her son a knowing look. “I mean yeah. You had your chance to make her yours and I think she gave you more than enough time to get your head out of your ass.” Jaehyun could only nod as he waited for the next onslaught of lectures. “Look baby, you’re just gonna have to be happy for her. It sucks and it’s probably never not going to suck, but if you care for her you’ll wait for her.”
“But what if they like, last longer and he proposes or something?”
Another knowing look and a sad smile.
“Then you’re just gonna have to accept it. She went and found something that makes her feel wanted, you can’t blame her for wanting that forever.”
No mother wanted this for their son, but she also wasn’t going to lie to him. Jaehyun knew that, he always did, but some part of him wanted to be babied and told it would be ok, even if it wasn’t.
—————————————————————————
Finally you were venturing home to visit as well as introduce Donghyuck to your family. You weren’t terribly nervous, but you could tell that Donghyuck was. He had spent all week picking out the perfect clothes to wear in front of your family, as well bought gifts for your mother and father. You kept reassuring him that it wasn’t necessary, but he just couldn’t fathom walking into your house empty handed.
“Donghyuck, the gifts you got are enough, you don’t need to buy flowers and a cake.”
“I can’t show up empty handed to a potluck! Also the flowers are a housewarming gift.” He had his hands pressed against the glass of the cake display, looking at all the various options he could choose from.
“Baby, they’ve lived in that house for twenty years, so you’re about two decades late for housewarming. “
“Should we get ganache or buttercream? Actually don’t answer that, I'm getting both.”
You rolled your eyes, but relented in your efforts to stop him. Donghyuck clearly had his mind made up on how to impress your parents, and you weren’t going to burst his bubble. Your parents already liked him from how highly you spoke of him, but if this would ease his mind you weren’t going to ruin his fun.
“Y/N, welcome home darling! Oh, and you must be Donghyuck, I’ve heard so much about you!” Your mother welcomed both of you with kisses on your cheeks and tight hugs.
“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Y/LN (your last name).” Donghyuck ever the charmer handed the large bouquet to your mother as well as a small box. She opened it and gasped at the pearl earrings held inside. “I hope they’re to your liking, I can always exchange them for something different-“
“Oh sweetheart they’re wonderful, please don’t fret. Come on, let’s go join everyone else.”
Your mother led you and Donghyuck out to the backyard where the whole neighborhood seemed to be in attendance. You made your rounds, saying hi to all the attendees and introducing Donghyuck whose nerves seemed to melt the more he talked. After what felt like an hour of talking (more like 20 minutes), you finally got an opportunity to talk to your father. He seemed more than pleased with Donghyuck and the watch that he was gifted by him.
“This one’s a keeper, Y/n, don’t fumble.” Your fathers attempt at whispering was pretty poor so you rolled your eyes in response before shooting an apologetic look at your boyfriend. Donghyuck found it amusing though. It was a relief to know all your family liked him so far. Your neighbors seemed charmed as well which was doing wonders for not only his nerves but his ego as well.
“So how did you two meet?” Your father took a swig of his beer while flipping over one of the hamburger patties on the grill. He was definitely one of the best multitaskers you knew, especially when there was alcohol or grilling involved.
“At a party, he wined and dined me at a Denny's afterwards.” You smiled at Donghyuck, leaning against his arm. You could feel a pair of eyes on you as you talked to your father, but chose to ignore it.
“I promise we went on better dates afterwards.” Your father seemed amused at your boyfriend's hurried tone. It was cute Donghyuck felt like he had something else to prove. You knew he had already won your parents over, especially since you gushed so much about him over the phone to your mother; but he was in the right to feel a bit nervous still. “We’re actually going on a skiing trip for winter break, some of my extended family owns the lodge we’re staying at.” That was new to you. You looked up at him in disbelief and Donghyuck simply winked at you, his little way of saying “surprise”.
“Is your family rich?” Your dad sure was subtle.
“We come from a bit of old money, but I do work myself. I’m slated to take over the IT division of my uncle’s company after I graduate.” Your dad seemed very intrigued and so were you. Donghyuck wasn’t usually one to brag which is probably why this was the first time you were hearing any of this. You knew Donghyuck was a hard worker and he didn’t like talking handouts, even his tuition was covered by a scholarship and not his mom. You weren’t sure how much his mom made, but he had told you she was an entrepreneur and she made enough to cover his school, but he refused. His hardworking attitude was one of the things you loved about Donghyuck. Even though he found school relatively easy, he refused to do a stream or even relax until all his work was done for the week. It led to a lot of all-nighters, to the point where he would finally join you in bed when you were about to get up for the day, but it left more time for the two of you to be together at the end of the week.
“You sound like you have a bright future ahead of you son, good for you.” You could see Donghyuck practically preen at the praise, which made you giggle a little. “Now then make sure you keep this one in line, also a ring on that finger in six months would be great!” You were seriously gonna punch your dad later.
“If she’ll have me, I’ll make it happen” You gawked at Donghyuck. You didn’t understand how he could so casually talk about marriage when the two of you had only been together for a few months. Sure you’d been to a few of Jaehyun’s friends' weddings, he was about to graduate after all so it was normal for people his age to get married. You, however, felt way too young to even be flirting with the thought of marriage.
“Ok that’s enough you two, I don’t need you giving him any more ideas.” You pulled Donghyuck away to go make small talk with the few neighbors you hadn’t greeted yet. One of them was unfortunately Jaehyun, but it felt wrong to not at least say “hi.”
Donghyuck was in fine spirits, but the moment he realized where you were pulling him, his happy demeanor frosted over into a glare. Jaehyun had no idea the two of you were even venturing over, but you wanted to keep it that way. Hopefully Donghyuck would be civil, once you approached him, but you knew that glare would throw everything off immediately. You nudge your boyfriend to fix his face before tapping on Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun turned around slightly confused, but replaced his shock with a tight lip smile. You glanced at Donghyuck just to make sure he wasn’t still glaring, and thankfully he wasn’t but he wasn’t wearing the most pleasant expression either.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Jaehyun asked awkwardly.
Before you could answer, Donghyuck placed a protective arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his side. You shot a small glare at him, because you understood he had his qualms about Jaehyun, but you hoped he could at least be civil for five minutes.
“It’s going well, just making my rounds with Hyuck. What about you? How’s your summer going?” You did your best to pretend like your boyfriend and your ex friend with benefits, weren’t currently having a silent battle, but it was proving to be quite difficult. You don’t know why you have a thing for strong personalities, but clearly it’s biting you in the ass currently.
“It’s going fine. How’s your summer? Enjoying your honeymoon?”
Oh fuck.
“It’s going great, our summer and our “honeymoon.”” Donghyuck bit back at Jaehyun, moving his hand down lower so it was resting practically on your ass. You didn’t miss the way Jaehyun’s eyes followed his hand.
You had to admit it was kinda hot seeing Donghyuck annoyed and the possessiveness was also a bit of a turn on. However, you weren’t gonna continue to let the two have a petty war over nothing. You and Jaehyun talked and agreed to be civil and hopefully rekindle your friendship, but you knew Donghyuck wasn’t entirely happy about that. So you could understand why Donghyuck was acting this way, but Jaehyun was being a bit ridiculous, in your opinion.
“Guys, can we not?”
“Can we not, what? We’re just having a nice conversation.” You threw Donghyuck a scandalized look. You understand why he was pissed at Jaehyun, but you weren’t gonna let him take that tone with you.
“Jae, we’ll be back.” You wave the older goodbye before dragging Donghyuck inside and upstairs. You found the nearest bedroom, not caring if it was the guest room before locking it. “You’ve lost your fucking mind.” You didn’t mean to snap at him but you were so frustrated with all the petty bullshit.
“You can’t be serious right now.” Donghyuck huffed out. “I’m out of my fucking mind? Did you not just hear him disrespecting us once again?” Donghyuck had a point but you just wished for once he would be the bigger person instead of letting Jaehyun under his skin immediately. “Why do I always have to yield to his douchery?”
“Donghyuck, it’s just easier if you don’t give him a reaction. He’s bitter and hurt, he’s working through it.”
Your boyfriend pokes his tongue on the inside of his cheek, chuckling ruefully at you. “He’s bitter and hurt? Well he wouldn’t be if he actually treated you like you were worth something! It’s not my fault that I actually give you what you were looking for! I shouldn’t have to be his fucking punching bag!”
“If anyone is his punching bag it’s fucking me!”
You were both screaming and you were sure anyone close enough to the window could hear you two. Clearly this was something that needed to be addressed, again.
“You’re not the one who’s been harassed and made to feel like shit by their own best friend, for months, just because I found something better.” Here came the tears of course. You hated crying during these conversations but everything just seemed to come out no matter how hard you tried to hold back. “I’ve been trying to fix shit, on both ends. And I know you don’t see it but he’s been trying.” Donghyuck looked skeptically at you, but he knew you weren’t done so he didn’t comment. “He wants to be able to be in a room with us and not feel like absolute shit, but it’s just kinda hard for him.” You sighed, because you knew what you were about to tell Donghyuck wasn’t a surprise, but he hated hearing it. “He came to the conclusion that he is in love with me and has been for a while, but didn’t want to admit it. I know he fucked up and lost his chance, he knows that too, but watching someone you love be happy with someone that isn’t you is hard.” You shot a pointed look. “Even you have to admit that.”
Donghyuck sighed. He did know that was hard. He watched it happen in high school to one of his friends. Which is probably why this whole thing made him so angry, it just felt like a repeat but instead of being a bystander, he was in the middle.
“Ok yeah, you’re right. I’ll give him some grace.” You felt sort of relieved that Donghyuck was willing to yield at least this once, but you weren’t going to take his kindness for granted. If Jaehyun ever truly stepped out of line as bad as he did at the frat you would end your friendship entirely. That was something you promised to Donghyuck that same night. Aside from that though, Jaehyun said he was going to do his best to be a good sport, and while he was off to a bad start, you hoped he would at least apologize later.
Donghyuck engulfed you into a nice bear hug that you couldn’t help but smile and giggle at. He gave the best hugs and always seemed to know when you needed one. “We’re ok, I’m sorry for being rude out there, especially towards you.”
“It’s ok. I’m sorry I snapped at you that was uncalled for.”
“It’s ok, I know you just want me and bighead to get along.” Lord, he's been spending way too much time with Minjeong lately.
“Alright Minjeong Jr., let’s get back out there.”
Just as you opened the door you came face to chest with Jaehyun who had his fist raised up. He must’ve been about to knock, but as always your weird friend-sense seemed to beat him to it.
“Hey, I just came to apologize.”
“It's all cool man, I’m sorry too.” You were a little surprised Donghyuck apologized, but honestly it made you happy that there was a possibility the two of them could get along. “Also, I don’t know if this is too much to ask, but would you maybe want to game sometime?” That surprised you even more.
“Like all of us, or just you and me?” Jaehyun seemed surprised too, but clearly wasn’t entirely opposed.
“Just you and I. She refuses to play Overwatch and we need another player for our team. Who do you main?”
“Cassidy” Jaehyun finally cracked a small smile on what felt like ages.
“Nice, we’ve been needing another DPS on our team, you down to join?” Donghyuck asked cooley, bringing his hand up to dap up the other man.
“Yeah, just shoot me a message whenever.” Jaehyun pulled out his phone, swiping through until he found discord.
“Real, we’re going home in a few days, so maybe we can play then if you’re back too.”
You felt like a third wheel at this point. You knew if the two ever found a middle ground it would definitely be gaming.
“Sure, I should be back like a day after yall I think.
“Sounds great.”
—————————————————————————
Donghyuck and Jaehyun had been texting for almost an hour now and you were starting to feel like it was a bad idea that they exchanged contact info. Not because they were fighting, but because they were getting along a little too well.
Donghyuck had been giggling at his phone like a schoolgirl the whole time, while you just laid next to him scrolling on your own phone. “I can’t believe we were beefing before. You did this on purpose.”
You gawked at your boyfriend, scandalized that he would even accuse you of that. “Hyuck I did not! You think I would make up that shit about him harassing me at the frat party?”
A skeptical look.
“Unbelievable.” You flopped backwards onto the bed. “My boyfriend is gonna leave me for my old situationship slash best friend.” You threw your hand over your face dramatically. Trying to gain some sort of leverage over Donghyuck.
“You’re right, I am.” Donghyuck supplied, still typing away at his phone.
Scoffing, you tried to peek at what the two were talking about. “What is he even saying to have you this enraptured? I’m literally laid out all nice for you and you’re not even interested.” You weren’t really wearing anything special, but you were wearing one of Donghyuck’s oversized shirts and some nice panties, which usually would’ve caught his attention by now.
“Babe that’s nasty, your parents are literally down the hall. Also we’re talking about genshin, since you refuse to play that too.” He did have a point about your parents, but you could be quiet… sometimes. “Besides we have all summer for that, I do still enjoy seeing you in my shirts if that’s what you’re worried about though.” He placed a small kiss on your temple, trying his best to reassure you.
“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you and big head talking about my deepest darkest secrets.” You knew Donghyuck was better than that, but sometimes Jaehyun wasn’t. You learned from Mark that sometimes Jaehyun didn’t know when to shut his mouth about you and sex. It wasn’t entirely embarrassing since sex was normal, but you also didn’t like your business to be aired out like that.
“Don’t worry, we’ll only make fun of you when you’re around to defend yourself.” Donghyuk was suddenly above you, a teasing smirk playing at his lips. “Besides, I’m too possessive. Only I get to talk about you like that, and I'll keep it that way.” You were starting to regret not booking a hotel like Donghyuck initially suggested. He was practically purring as he spoke and the words were going straight to your core.
“Are you sure we can’t mess around a little… I’ll be quiet.”
The laughter that spilled out of Donghyuck was infectious, you knew it was a ridiculous request but no one could blame you trying.
“You’re unbelievable, It’s only two more days. Think about how good the sex will be.
“It could be good now.” You pouted up at him through your lashes.
“Well I'd like to be invited back in the future, so you’re just gonna have to wait.” He kissed your pout away just as quick as it appeared, smiling down at you softly when he pulled back.
You loved moments like this, moments where it just felt like you and Donghyuck. Moments where you’d lightly trace your fingers over his moles, connecting them like constellations.
“Fine, I’ll wait, but don’t expect me to lift a single finger.”
Donghyuck simply rolled his eyes before rolling back over next to you. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He yawned, pulling you closer to his frame.
—————————————————————————
The fall semester was finally here and it was a shit show. You started your nursing internship at one of the local hospitals and instead of challenging classes taking up the majority of your time, it was now strenuous shifts there. You weren’t working 80 hours like most nurses, but the majority of your days were spent at the hospital. And when you weren’t working you were sleeping. You were honestly glad Donghyuck and Jaehyun were gaming buddies now, because you didn’t have the energy to or time to pay as much attention to Donghyuck as you wished. He was being a good sport through it all, but you could tell your lack of intimacy and time together was starting to take a toll on him.
Now it was 2am and you were punching in the six digit code to Donghyuck’s apartment. Even though you still had a dorm with Minjeong you felt some part of Donghyuck was fulfilled when he woke up next to you. So here you were after your 10 minute walk in the cool, early morning, August air. Your scrubs felt and probably smelled dank against your body and you were so thankful that this weekend would probably be spent in Donghyuck oversized shirts and your own shorts while you caught up on sleep and time together.
Upon entering the house you made a beeline for the shower, wanting to wash all the sterile hospital smell off of you. You were in the infant ward today so most of your day was spent cooing at babies as well as checking their vitals. You changed a few diapers, helped a few mothers, all in all it wasn’t as intense as some other days this week. It was honestly a nice break. It still didn’t change the fact that you were exhausted though. The hot water was working wonders on your aching body, but you honestly didn’t know how much longer you could stand. Deciding on just a body shower you quickly lathered and rinsed yourself before turning off the steaming shower head. You blindly reached your hand out for your towel. All you could feel was the slightly dewy metal of the towel rack before you finally made contact with the fluffy cloth and something else. Something that felt warm and familiar.
“What are you doing up?” You questioned who you hoped was your boyfriend and not some stranger who followed you home amidst your post shift delirium. You were patting your face dry, so you couldn’t really see Donghyuck behind the towel or
the steam that covered the glass of the shower door.
“I was gaming. I wanted to make sure you got here safely.” You could hear the fatigue in his voice. Donghyuck rarely stayed up late, which was surprising since most gamers tended to have a horrible sleeping schedule. Donghyuck was the exception though, opting to wake up in the morning hours to get his homework and other errands out of the way and saving his nights for streams that ran no later than 11:00pm. When you had a normal sleeping schedule, this worked very well for both of you, but now it made you upset that he felt the need to derail his own sleep just for you.
“Thank you for waiting up, it means a lot. Don’t make a habit of it though, I want you to sleep. You shouldn’t stay up just for me.” You stepped out of the shower, the towel now wrapped around your frame. The steam cleared and there was Donghyuck in his overtired glory. Eyelids so droopy you were worried he would fall asleep standing up. “Did you at least take a nap?” You crossed the bathroom until you were standing in front of him, cupping his face before planting a sweet kiss on his lips.
Donghyuck shook his head. “I woke up late today.”
You wanted to counter that statement since Donghyuck never slept past 10am, but decided to leave it alone. You were grateful he waited for you. It was nice knowing you would fall asleep in his arms and not just impossibly close to his frame for comfort.
“You can go, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Another shake.
You knew there was no point in pushing it so you got dressed and finished up the rest of your night time routine as quickly as possible. When you and Donghyuck finally fell into the sheets together, it was a little past 2:30. You were a mess of tangled limbs and tacky skin as you tried to find a comfortable position to cuddle in and once you did both you and Donghyuck released a contented sigh.
“This internship sucks.” Donghyuck sighed, placing a chaste kiss on the back of your neck.
“I know, but it’s only one semester. I’ll be all yours for graduation.” You did your best to speak through a yawn that Donghyuck caught after you.
“It’s not enough, it should be illegal for you to be at the hospital that long.”
“Well I’m also sleeping for a lot of that time.” You tried to reason.
“Shhh, blame the hospital, not your body’s needs.” Donghyuck’s words were starting to slur, a true testament to how tired he actually was. The fact that he had managed to stay up this late was impressive enough, but you knew in seconds if not minutes you’d be hearing soft snores. “You’re off this weekend right?” You couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He’s asked that at least three times this week, it was cute, almost like he was in disbelief that he’d actually get to spend time with you. “It’s not funny. I only get to see you when you’re sleeping, it’s kinda creepy.”
“Ew, you watch me when I sleep?”
“You’re lucky I just watched, the amount of times I wanted to draw a mustache on you is a bit concerning.” Donghyuck yawned again, snuggling closer to your back.
“You’re terrible.” Was all you could muster as you finally let sleep win, drifting off into a much needed slumber.
—————————————————————————
“Dude, we’re being eaten alive over here, where are you?” Donghyuck whisper-shouted into his headset. You were still sleeping so he was trying his best to control his volume, but his team was getting beat so bad that he wanted to scream.
“There’s a fucking sniper on my ass, everytime I step out they shoot at me.” Jaehyun yelled into his headset, groaning as another attempt at aiding his team was thwarted by the widowmaker that had him in their sights.
“Fuck they got Jeno again.” Jisung cursed.
“Jae just throw a flashbang at the building, it’ll at least stun them.” Donghyuck seethed into the mic. He looked back at the bed to make sure you were still soundly asleep and in that one moment. he was gunned down with his fellow teammates. “Fuck!” Donghyuck quickly covered his mouth, beating himself up when he heard you stir in bed. He didn’t mean to yell, but unfortunately at the end of the day he was a gamer, a very passionate gamer.
“What time is it?” You groaned quietly, craning your head slightly to get a better view of your boyfriend.
“It’s a little past noon, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to yell.” Donghyuck could hear the guys making fun of him through his headset, but chose to ignore it.
“S’okay. You playing with the guys?” You stretched in bed, arching your back in an attempt to wake up.
“Yeah, you wanna say hi?”
You made an affirmative sound before pulling the gaming chair from the desk Donghyuck bought for you. The desk was for school, but he argued that a gaming chair was more comfortable than a regular rolling chair.
You grabbed the second headset Donghyuck also bought for you, so you could talk to the guys while he gamed. “Good morning…” You yawned into the mic, leaning your head back on the headrest of the chair.
“Hi Y/N!” A chorus of deep voices chirped back.
“How’s the internship going?” Jeno piped up, healing Donghyuck in the process.
“It’s going fine, I like it a lot. I’m just tired… all the time. Next week I go on day shift though, so I’ll have a decent sleeping schedule.” You could see the way Donghyuck was grinning at that information. It had been a long time since the two of you had a normal sleeping schedule and even if this was only for a few weeks, he would be happy with what he could get.
“Any hot doctors, or are you still into mr. loser?” Jaehyun jabbed. In the past that would probably be something that you and Donghyuck wouldn’t laugh at. As of now though all the bad blood was gone and you could comfortably joke like you used to with Jaehyun. It made you happy that he and Donghyuck could get along and that you and Jaehyun were slowly patching up your own relationship.
“No, I still love mr. loser, that might change in a few wee— Babe on your left!”
“Fuck yeah!” With your help he was able to gun down one of the enemies and get the kill count almost even. “What the fuck how did you even see them?” Donghyuck didn’t understand why you didn’t want to play Overwatch when you had such good eye coordination. Even if you couldn’t play fps games,you could at least heal or provide support.
“I don’t know, I thought they were pretty obvious.” You shrugged, stealing a sip from the coffee next to his keyboard. “Did you get me any?” Donghyuck nodded, motioning to the bedside table. You planted a quick peck on his cheek before retrieving the caffeinated beverage and your phone. “Did you eat yet?”
“No, there’s no food though…” Donghyuck replied sheepishly. Unfortunately when your sleep schedule was shitty, so was his. The usual time your boyfriend would go get groceries was now nap time while the rest was focused on school or streaming.
“I’ll order something, don’t worry.”
—————————————————————————
Another end of semester frat party is where you found yourself tonight. Your internship had ended a few days ago and after some much needed rest you were ready to kick back with Donghyuck and your friends. Currently you and Donghyuck were in a heated game of beer pong against Minjeong and Ten. At this point both teams had three cups left, it could be anyone’s game— you were determined to make it yours.
“Go to the left a little- too far… there you go.” Donghyuck had been your coach all game and you two probably looked sickening. He was standing directly behind you, one hand on your waist, the other on your throwing arm. Ten and Minjeong claimed you were cheating, but you begged to differ since you were the one actually throwing. “Go ahead, baby.”
Cautiously you moved your arm back and forth to get the right angle, once you were satisfied you let the ball go. The ball bounced once before sinking nicely into the cup full of beer across the table. Ten and Minjeong exchanged equally unimpressed looks before rock, paper, scissoring over who would have to chug the beer. Ten lost for what was now the third time in a row and begrudgingly downed the drink.
It was now Donghyuck’s turn and with ease he managed to land the ball in the second to last cup. Ten and Minjeong looked scared now. There was one cup left and while it could still be anyone’s game— Donghyuck had the ball.
“Can she just chug this and end it?” Ten asked, wanting to spare himself the humiliation of possibly throwing up.
“Nope.” With that simple deceleration the ball was
sunk in the cup.
—————————————————————————
After cup pong you and Donghyuck took to the dance floor before he decided he wanted to do karaoke. He was singing an amazing rendition of “Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO. While you enjoyed watching him, the stuffy atmosphere of the frat was starting to make you feel a bit light headed.
“I’m gonna step outside for a bit!” You shouted at Jeno before making your way towards the back door. Sliding the glass door open made you release a sigh of relief when you felt the chill of winter air against your skin. Thankfully a cropped puffer was a part of your less than winter appropriate party outfit, so you at least had something to keep you warm.
When the chill started to become a problem you moved to sit by the fire. Warming up your fingers and legs as you appreciated the quiet crackling as opposed to loud bass you could still hear thudding on the house. You sat there for a moment with your thoughts and the fire as your only company before you heard the back door slide open. You didn’t bother craning your neck, figuring it was some random party goer searching for the same solace you were just a few minutes ago.
“I didn’t think I’d find you out here.” Jaehyun sat in the chair next to you, beer slung loosely in his hand. He tipped the bottle towards, but you declined. You had way too much during your beer pong game and you were just now starting to sober up. “Surprised you aren’t watching your boyfriend’s performance. He’s doing a pretty good rendition of “Billie Jean.””
“I was, but I needed some air, we pregammed here so I’ve been in the house for a while.”
Jaehyun hummed, taking a swig of his beer before returning his gaze to the fire. “So next semester will be your one year, right?”
“Yeah, mid april, kinda hard to believe.” The conversation was awkward. Jaehyun was definitely holding something back, but as always he seemed too stubborn to admit it. “Is there something on your mind, you’re being weird.”
“You’re too intuitive, sometimes.” He chuckled, had still fixed on the fire as if looking at you would turn him to stone. “I don’t know how to say this without making you upset.”
That confused you. The two of you haven’t fought and neither has he or Donghyuck lately, so this was odd.
“What do you mean— why would I get upset?”
“I think I’m still in love with you.”
Your breath halted for a moment. Now it was your turn to stare into the fire. You don’t know what you were expecting, but it surely wasn’t this. In the Eight months that you two had cut things off
you were very confident in the fact that you had no romantic feelings for Jaehyun whatsoever. This didn’t necessarily throw a curveball at you, honestly it made you kinda angr— oh, that’s what he meant.
“Jae… this isn’t- we’re not doing this again.” How could you say this without blowing up? “If you said this to me 7 months ago, I probably would’ve dropped everything and ran back to you.” You sighed deeply, blinking back tears you didn’t even realize were forming. “I’m happy now… I really love Donghyuck. I love you too, but not in that way anymore.” You were crying now, but you didn’t know why. In a way this was the closure you always wanted, but not what you expected him to say.
“I don’t want you to drop everything… I just…” He took a deep sigh. “I wanted to tell you, so that I can get over you.”
“You want me to reject you?” You looked at him dumbfounded.
“More or Less, yeah.”
You sniffled as you tried your best to compose yourself. “This is not how I wanted to get my closure, but whatever.” Chuckling a bit you took a deep breath, “Jae, I don’t love you as more than a friend. I’m happy with Donghyuck, and I can genuinely see us lasting for a long time.” You felt so stupid saying that, but you also felt somewhat relieved hearing it out loud. “Was that good enough?”
“That was perfect.”
Taglist: @snapcracklen, @peachesmilk, @clblnz, @ahgazen, @dulyrana
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I am vibrating over so many ideas for the vita carnis au ok like
Is luffy mimic just generally different or did laws encounter with the harvester kinda do something odd to him? Cuz I can think of messed up little ideas like how the carnis all seems to be connected (not a full hive mind but linked) from what we know so far so did law loose enough of himself to the harvester and get out alive (which just doesn’t happen) he’s not viewed as external anymore? Because that is a fun idea that over paranoid forever law is the only one who is exempt and will never figure that out.
Or another fun idea is that in escaping the harvester or conversely lost something TO law like I dunno, a small sliver of itself so once again law is just a non entity now compared to a target.
Fun enough idea but there’s something also creepy about luffy being a new subspecies of mimic who act more like scouts not just imitating to hunt but to LEARN
I need more ok I need more of this au
anon my beloved, my fucking beloved you can’t go around guessing my plot twists like that lmao im so happy but yeah!!! it’s still vague cause i’ve only been half thinking about it for a week but yea that’s kind of the idea!
the carnis are interested in law because he miraculously escaped that one encounter, his arm got eaten/absorbed like the rest of his family, it’s all gone, but law still has some of the harvester in him! not a lot, probably not detectable but the carnis know. that’s partly why neither mimic doflamingo or mimic luffy have any intention of killing him, they know he’s not a carnis but they can also tell there’s something carnis in him, it weird them out! it’s curious! so mimic luffy wants to know/observes law.
i think mimic luffy is a regular mimic but it’s a young one that doesn’t have a lot of experience impersonating people so he gets things wrong and is a bit slow. lowkey I wanted to have him be a representation of sort (including actual luffy) if not specifically autism masking but generally the feeling that you exist wrong and need to remind yourself to act human, that weird barrier and exclusion/isolation. having real luffy being a grieving self isolating guy who disappeared without anyone’s notice to be replaced by a more literal representation of his inner feelings but this time people actually like him even though they can't tell it isn’t him.
except law who one day had A Feeling that something was deeply wrong but still has no idea when it happened. and only starts taking interest in luffy now that’s he’s dead.
also about that comic, i wanted to show that law knew luffy’s laugh even if they weren’t friends/didn’t talk much but the monster that stalked and studied him specifically to impersonate him didn’t know what his laugh sounded like.
#op carnis au#caurnis ask#im so happy with everyone tags and reception to this au far 😭😊💕#got so super funny tags on the ‘some lore’ one I cackled so hard
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damnation of a saint (teaser)
pairing — nun!reader x sin of lust!seonghwa ft. ateez as the other sins
rating — smut | mdni
wc — ~13k (teaser is 1.2k)
synopsis — life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.
release date — OUT!!! LINK HERE
nsfw tags under the cut
tags — heavy religious/blasphemous themes (don't read if you're uncomfy <3), inclusive writing (reader is not described), also reader is the embodiment of purity and selflessness, 20240127 hwa (will to power d1 in seoul), kinda slow burn kinda vibes, tensionnnnn, sooo much teasing, dom!hwa, also very sly demon!hwa, supernatural sex, corruption kink (obviously), masturbation (f), oral (f), the (un)holy trinity = teasing + begging + mind breaking, some light impact play, breath play, hair pulling, fingering (f), monster cock!hwa, size training, pet names (angel, love, darling, sweetheart), praising, degradation (slut, whore), dumbification, multiple orgasms (f), overstim and more to be revealed in the full version <3
a/n: consider this teaser as the moodboard of the fic <3 also im so excited to be reworking on my fave fic ever. hope you enjoy it too <3
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Seonghwa was bored out of his mind. Like he had been for decades now, even centuries. He couldn’t remember what it was like to feel… well… anything at all really. And after years upon years of vegetating he didn’t care enough to even try anymore. He just laid there, endlessly staring blankly at the emptiness. He tapped his slender finger on his thigh, comfortably set on the bed of dark purple smoke he had materialized out of thin air.
He let out an audible annoyed groan as he was nonchalantly stretching out his long limbs which didn’t fail to catch the attention of the others.
“What’s wrong?” Yeosang asked as he was feasting on some delicious meal he poofed out magically. He didn’t even take a second to look up the bucket full of chicken drumsticks, wrapping his greasy fingers around the bone and eyeing the meat like one would their life long partner. But then again, that wasn’t too far from the truth for Yeosang.
“I’m bored” Seonghwa complained, pushing his long silky black hair back on his forehead and choosing to ignore Yeosang’s lack of interest, dragging out the word on his tongue, transmitting his state of utter apathy to the others.
“Why don’t you go up and play with the Humans?” Mingi suggested while checking himself out in the mirror, readjusting his bangs and sliding his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before striking a pose to himself, remaining completely self absorbed.
Once again, Seonghwa wasn’t getting much attention from his counterparts but he was somewhat used to it when it came to Mingi.
“What’s the point? They are no fun anyways!” Seonghwa sat up straight and crossed his long elegant legs on the cloud of cotton like smoke.
“Why?” Jongho asked, unlike the others he deigned looking in Seonghwa’s direction with somewhat surprised eyes. “You used to love going around and breaking up happy marriages, luring men and women in with your charms… That was always fun!” He said a little sluggishly, but still with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
“Yeah… Maybe it was…” Seonghwa replied. “Two millenniums ago…” Another prolonged sigh. “When everything still felt fresh.” He got up from the comfortable cloud of smoke, pacing the endless void as his heels clacked and echoed with each step. “Now I know that Humans are only self centered vile creatures who only claim to have better morals than us because they are scared of the consequences that inevitably ensue from succumbing to their primal desires. When in fact, all they want is to eat, kill, have sex or not do anything at all. They are nothing short of underdeveloped, unevolved, spineless piles of meat”
“Meat? Where?” Yeosang said, finally lifting his head from the bucket of fried chicken to look around, eyes rounded in panic.
Not a single one of them reacted except Mingi who side eyed him with disdain before returning to more important matters at hand such as swapping the aviator sunglasses for narrower, more rectangular ones.
“That’s not entirely false” Jongho concluded, shrugging, easily giving up on the idea of comforting Seonghwa.
“I mean where’s the fun if you can’t break their minds to give in?” Seonghwa placed both hands on Jongho's shoulders, slightly shaking him while the latter lifelessly swayed back and forth. “What is the point if they don’t resist the call of evil? If you can’t erode their will like a rock made smooth by the incessant beating of the waves of the cruel sea.” Seonghwa huffed in a quiet, defeated voice, letting go of Jongho's shoulders to let his arms hang at his side while the other one stared at him blankly.
“Hm… okay” Jongho said before slipping off Seonghwa's reach to take his place on the fluffy bed of purple smoke, crashing head first onto the soft cloud.
A silence settled for what seemed like a long moment, even for them, immutable creatures to whom the very concept of time couldn't grasp at their permanence.
“Well you never tried with that girl…” Wooyoung said, slithering his way to Seonghwa without a sound. He had been watching the scene unfold from afar up until then. “What was her name already?” He snapped his fingers and looked to the side trying to access his memory. He turned to Mingi for help but he was too busy looking through the mirror, slipping on yet another dangling necklace and smirking, satisfied at the results. Wooyoung then tried his luck with Yeosang but he now had his face buried in a huge bowl of chicken broth, the empty bucket of fried chicken abandoned and slurping up a big mouthful of noodles in a rather unpleasant way. “Jongho?” he called, finally settling for the one that looked almost passed out on the bed of smoke, but still this one wielded the most positive result.
“Y/n” Jongho responded without conviction, still laying flat on the cloud of smoke, eyes growing heavier by the second.
“Yeah! That’s right!” Wooyoung exclaimed. “That girl is unbreakable,” he affirmed. Seonghwa scoffed and threw an unconvinced look to his peer.
“No really! I’ve tried to corrupt her but I really couldn’t”. Wooyoung said, raising his brows and talking loudly to support his point. But that did little to persuade Seonghwa, he was convinced that Wooyoung was just not as good as him at breaking the mortals’ souls. So yes, it was possible that Wooyoung had struggled with that girl. But not him, surely not him.
When Wooyoung saw Seonghwa was not budging his face dropped, and he turned to the others. “Please someone back me up on this one”
“Oh yeaaah… I remember her” Yeosang said, voice cut by various sounds of loud lips smacking and open mouth chewing. “Even I tried!”
Now, that was different. Seonghwa was interested. Most people are quick to indulge themselves when it comes to food. It was, so to speak, the easiest sin of the seven to succumb to. The Humans often say “there’s always room for dessert” and innocently eat a generous slice of cake after devouring a full meal. They don’t even notice Yeosang forcing the big spoon full of buttery sugary goodness into their mouths. They don’t even know Yeosang, himself, made this saying.
“She refused to even do as much as taste the delicious meal I made her sister cook her even though she was starving… instead she gave it to the homeless man living not far from her apartment.” Yeosang stated with aberration shaking his head in disappointment before plunging right back in the ramyeon bowl.
“Mhm” Seonghwa scratched his chin, his curiosity for the mysterious righteous girl was piqued.
“One day I tried to make her give in” Jongho chipped in from the dark purple smoke bed, even pushing himself on his elbows to look at the others, to Seonghwa’s surprise. “Made her miss the train and the bus she needed to take to get home after work and conveniently laid a juicy wallet stuffed full of even juicier bills in the gutter. All she had to do was to bend down and get the money to take a taxi to her apartment. But instead she took the money and walked to the police station to report the lost wallet, which was in the opposite direction by the way and then walked back home only to take a shower and leave right after to attend the charity soup kitchen. Anddd… Explaining this made me tired. Please don't talk to me for the next two hundred years, thank you.” Jongho concluded in one single breath before laying back down and turning on his side to nap comfortably.
“Maybe that one can be interesting after all” Seonghwa thought aloud.
a/n: tell me if you wanna be tagged through comments or through asks <3
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#seonghwa smut#ateez smut#seonghwa#park seonghwa#ateez#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa hard thoughts#seonghwa hard hours#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa ateez#seonghwa imagines#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#mingi#wooyoung#kpop smut#smut fanfiction#ateez hard hours#ateez hard thoughts
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