#and writing the more fleshed out version of the work that lives in my head.

[jester089]

Gotta say, massive fan of the work you’ve pumped out, especially for TADC (it came out two weeks or so ago and there’s this much already what?!)

That said, could you write for the gang (separately, I’m sorry l know it’s a lot) who’s s/o resisted abstraction? Like, they were halfway through but turned back through sheer will? *Insert John Wick reference* This has been ping ponging in my head for a while. Thanks for listening! XO

Glitchy pain

I've written for something like this before. And I wasn't sure if you wanted angst or fluff. But since what I wrote before was angst I'm gonna just donna do my ideas on this one. Also to anyone else who feels like requesting don't be afraid to ask for a lot of characters. My max is like 10 and only because Tumblr doesn't like super long posts. I honestly don't think I would have a max if not for that. But really from like 7 pm to 4 am I got a lot of free time and the want to write. So ask to your hearts content. TADC crew x (kind of) abstracted reader

Caine

Caine was floating around when he heard what sounded like a pained and glitchy scream? He quickly floats over to where he heard it from only to find you clutching your head crumpled up into a ball on the floor. He was about to float down and ask you what happened before he noticed the random glitches, black spiky flesh, and randomly colored eye balls all appearing and disappearing in the blink of an eye. So he backed off, a little sad over the fact you were abstracting but life goes on. Until you let out another pained scream, it was almost like the abstraction reacted as the second you screamed it reverted a bit and slowed down. It continues like that for who knows how long. You in a mental and physical battle with abstraction. Caine just staring completely taken back by what he was witnessing. After enough time you vomit a nasty and seemingly living blob of black goo onto the floor and pass out. Caine stares at your motionless body for a few seconds before snapping out of it. He puts the weird goo blob into the cellar and takes you back to your room. He doesn't even know how to react, so he sits there at your bedside waiting for you to wake up. Once you do he is relived to find it's still you, speaking in full sentences and everything. Sure your voice and body have the occasional glitch but overall you're ok. So he leaves you be, mostly. He still needs to study your code for how you did that. But past that and him being a bit more "walking on egg shells" around you, but nothing really changes. And not wanting the others to think your a threat, you and Caine don't tell anyone.

Gangle

Gangle was wandering around looking for you. Her comedy mask broke again and you were the only one who knew how to fix it properly. She could patch it up sure but it never lasted long. Much like Caine she heard you scream out, only difference being she recognized your voice. She quickly changed from casual and aimless stroll to sprint with reason finding you leaned against a wall holding your stomach looking like your about to throw up. She runs up to you and places a hand(?) on each side of your head staring into your eyes. She in a panicked voice asks "Are you ok?! What happened?!" You half shove her away a garbled and messy version of your voice half screaming out that it isn't safe. You quickly regret taking the energy to speak and move as a giant surge of pain jolts up your digital spine forcing you onto your knees. You let out another pained groan/scream as black goo starts oozing out of your mouth. It's only then that Gangle realizes your glitching! She panics and tells you to stay calm while she gets Caine. Gangle sprints off with a mission luckily finding Caine rather quickly. She especially screams at him to help her/follow her. He listens and follows her. When she gets back to where she left you, your passed out. But you aren't glitching anymore. And your not fully abstracted. She carefully walks over to you and sets a gentle hand (ribbon) on your face feeling a whole lot of relief when you half swat at her hand in your sleep. She'll watch you while you sleep making sure you aren't disturbed but when you're awake and she's sure you're ok you are going to be getting a whole lot of cuddles from her. Her comedy mask can wait.

Zooble

Zooble was missing a leg and was hobbling/jumping her way towards your room to ask if you'd seen it. She knocked on your door only to receive no response. She knocks again. Nothing. So she unlocks it with the spare key you gave her. She is stunned by what she sees. Obsessive scribbles covering your walls. Wall paper torn and dirtied. She takes a few cautious steps before finally hearing you say in a horrible sounding voice "P̵̛̣̤̪̑̈́̄͆̚p̴̹͇̆̑̐͠ṕ̷͔̼͙̅̀͐̿͋͜͝P̵̢͚̩̱̮̭̉͜͠l̵͔̟̰̘̼̹̼̯͉͆ḛ̴̣͈̖͛̈́̏̏͌̕͜a̴̢͇̣̮̠͕̮͆̾s̸̡͉̣̺̯͚̾̈́͋̃̑͊͘s̵̼͛̃͛̄̏̊̊͜͠ͅs̷̨̯̬̯͊e̵̢̪̜̗͙̞͈̠͌̔͠s̸̢͔̝̳̞͈̭̲͂͆̇̄͛́́͗ͅͅ ̴̗̻̳̗̜̙̹̘͒̒̑̅̂̎̚͘w̴̰̘͂͊̌̒͘w̸̢̦̑̍̈́͊W̷̨̄̑̌̂̚͝W̵̦̙͇̝̲̪̝̫̜̰̄͑̚w̶̮͐̏̀͊͠h̴̬̤̠̩̰͋͗̾̓̈́̍̅ó̴͍̭͇̯͚̮͔̽̓̔̈́ ̶̥̑͋͒̿̀Ê̶̼͎͇͍̳̯͌͋͐̓̋v̸̢͓̩͗͜͝v̴͇͇̮̻͖̪͕̰̹̫̔̌̎̇̑́ë̷̪̤̫̪͌͂̓̕͘e̵̢̨̱̘̗͙̘̱̱̩̎̾̀v̸͍̄͠ë̶̡̙̠̣̰̠́͜r̸͇̰͖̍͑͌̆̌ ̷̯̼͕͍̭̭̲͙̰̽̈́͝y̷̪͉͓͗̿̀̐̈̃̆õ̷̢̜̮̬͒̈́͒̿̀̽̈́͂̈́ǘ̸̡̟̭̩̠̜̬͙̃ṵ̴̭̮̹̯̺̜̤̈͂̽u̸̬̠͉̺͍̰͉̦͌̋́̃͌̊͘͜ ̵̲͖̩̹̲̊̐͂͝͝a̵̰̩̻̗͕͎̮͈̥̫͂̂̌̆̆̎̑a̴̭͒͐̏̎́́͝à̶̛̘̮͍̟̻͕̰̽̍͛̽̈́̃͛͝r̴͎͚͇̻̞̬͑̂̅̿͋̅̂͊̔ą̴̛̱̱̗̔̈́̈́̔͒̆̌͘͠r̵̺̰̬̹̮̬̘̜̈́̊͗͛̅̌͌͘͜ę̸̛̺̞͚̹̘̱̥̲̒̍̏̔͛̌̚ȇ̴̩.̶̛̖̙̦̝̹̰͔̉͂̆̉̐̾̐͠͝ ̵̘̙͎̼̻̩̬͖͌̉̾̂̄͜J̵͐̏̇̈́̑̃͜͝͝j̶̛̠̬̟̓͗͗͆̆̀̈́̿̂͜j̴̢͍̦͉̯͑̍̓J̷̨̧̢̳̟̠̯͖͖͚̐̈̏̓̈͐̎̐͝j̶̫̞̬͖̯̯̹̺̩͆̾̽́̈́̄ͅJ̵͖̘̫̓u̷̡̧͔̥͇͕͔̞̠̇͛̈́̎͂̌͂͘̕ş̶͕̫̎ṫ̷͈͖̲̩͉͌̅̍̈́́̿ ̷̠͕͕̖̜̻̯̻̖̃̏̀͂͑́l̷̓��̳̣̼̊̈́̈̎̀́̋̚͜L̶̡̜̣͔͔̼̠̗̎̇̈́̕Ļ̴̞̟̱̹͓̹̪͖͚̂̐͐̑̂͆̐̓̚͠ḽ̶̢̧̙̺̯͖̰͓͐͗̽̈́̃̔̀̾̕l̴̢̢̳̜̣̦̎́́̔̕̚e̷͔̫͉̘͉̓̓͋͊̀̿̄̕͝ͅã̷̡̢̝̮͔̮̰̱͒͌̈͊̾͂͠ͅͅv̷̗̼͎̠̝̋̓͒͛̂͐͜͜è̶̪̟̲̘̃̓ ̴̺̊̉͑̉̽̅́̕̕m̸̧̦͔̙͍̘̭̲̄͂m̸̧̫͎͌̀̃͜ͅM̴͍͍̫͚̺͚̪̺̿́̒͋̂͐̿͗̚͘m̴̛̘̼͔͑̿̏̅͌̊̾̕e̴̩̟͈̙͑̏͐̆̓͆̏̚͠͝ ̵̳̤͉͉͙̬̥̉̓́̀̓̃̀̌̊͜ͅḁ̶̧̗͈͍͍̉͂̀͆͗̾̆́̚͜͝l̴̜͓͈̄͌̓̈́̉͊͊̍͝a̵̲͒̋̂͐́̊̕̚͝â̶̢͕̫̘̮͈̻͕͙̩͑̂ḹ̵̨̮̓̓̊̍̕̚͝o̵͖͔̥̳̊̐̀͠n̵̺̥̲͔͔̿͋̊ë̶̯̤̻́̌̎̎́̾͋̄̄̋.̵̪̑͆̀̎" (Please whoever you are. Just leave me alone.) She cautiously walks over to your bed and peaks over it. Your laying there curled up into a ball torn and broken items surrounding you. Y-your abstracting?! B-but... Zooble doesn't even really register the fact. She's in shock from seeing you like this. (I mean I would be too) You let out an ear piercing scream and claw at your own face with enough force to tear the skin, if you weren't digital at least. The glitching gets much much worse for a few seconds before just, stopping. No rhyme or reason that she can see. But you can bet your a&$ that after like 5 seconds pass and you stop showing signs of abstraction she's going to huddle near your spitting out so many questions. Mainly ones like "ARE YOU OK!?!" and "Your still with me right?! RIGHT!?!"

Kinger

Kinger would more likely then not be there when your first started glitching. And that might make him officially lose it. Your the second person in this hell (Queener) who he felt close too. And he outlived you too. Still you aren't abstracted yet. Maybe their's still a chance! So he sprints off screaming out for Caine in a voice that is loud enough to make you go deaf if you were too close to him. When he finds Caine. And he will find Caine he grabs him by the shoulders and sprints towards where he last saw you. He basically throws Caine at your glitching form and yells at him to fix you! In that second you stop glitching Caine did nothing and Kinger will basically tackle you. He'll pick you up and hold you over his head like a spear and sprint towards your rooms. Once there he will set up the comfiest coziest pillow fort possible then get you all comfy inside. Once he's sure your at least mostly safe and he's at least mostly calmed down he'll ask you about what happened. (Despite him being pretty crazy I really do feel like out of everyone he would be the best at communication in a friend or relationship. I mean he's that crazy and yet he still has manners and knowledge about a lot. Tbh he might become my fav. Idk it's possible.)

Ragatha

You were helping out Ragatha with a surprise she was making for everyone to lighten their moods when you said that you feel kind of sick so you were going to call it a night. She nods thanks you for the help you gave then gives you a quick peck to the lips as a send off. Not to much to her surprise you choose to lay in her bed instead of yours. Just something you do when you don't wanna be alone. She shrugs it off and keeps working actually quite grateful that you decided to not leave, not fully at least. She keeps working but stops when she hears some very concerning noises coming from your sleeping body. She turns around to see you tossing and turning an abnormal amount in your sleep, as well as making a lot of noises that sound like when someone is choking on their own blood. Concerned she carefully walks over to check on you only to recoil when she notices the glitching. She trips over her own foot and falls over onto her back. She quickly but clumsily gets up and gets back to you. She shakes you a bit trying to wake you up, but you don't only concerning her more. She yells calls out for Pomni who pokes her head through Ragatha's door a second later. Ragatha nearly screams at her to go get Caine. Pomni startled by Ragatha's tone turns heel and runs off to look for Caine while Ragatha stays with you. She keeps whispering things like "You're gonna be ok" and "Pomni's getting Caine just hang in there". Always keeping a hand on you not caring when it starts glitching out too. When Pomni returns with Caine, Ragatha full on yells at him to help you. He looks at you, then back at her, then with a apologetic tone says their isn't anything he can do as abstraction is one of those things he doesn't have control over. Ragatha breaks into tears. So she's gonna lose you, she was even there. BUT SHE CAN'T F@%#&$* HELP?! She holds onto you like you're her last tether to reality. And you seem to get better. Your at the very least don't seem to be in pain anymore! So she squeezes you, really f&$%@#* hard happier then should be possible that your improving.

Jax

Jax found you in his room voice glitching you huddled over in pain. At first he thought it was a revenge prank and acted accordingly. "Haha, very funny Y/N. Now get out of my room I need to do something." That is until you vomited up a ton of pitch black goo. Then he started taking it more seriously. He quickly crouches down and wraps an arm around you to try and provide some support. He freaks out and quickly pulls his arm back when you vomit up more goo and starts visibly glitching. He panics and quickly looks around his room locking onto a like 3 day old unopened water bottle. He opens it and hands it to you as well as a thing to squeeze that half yells to just hang in there he'll be right back. He sprints around not even knowing who to get. He sees Ragatha and half tackles her. He shouts directly into her face that you need help and that you in his room. He tosses her in the direction of his room then continues sprinting around not long after finding Caine. He grabs Caine ignoring his protests and runs back to his room where he fins Ragatha sitting next to his bed you tucked in. Your not vomiting anything and you aren't glitching. You're just shivering. He hears you mumble his name and literally kicks Ragatha and Caine out quickly getting to your side. After he feels he wont get hurt he quickly gets into bed holding you close "If you ever do that again I'm going to take back my vow to not tease you." He falls asleep with his chin resting on your head.

Pomni

At first when you started glitching Pomni didn't really know it was abstraction. She's never seen someone abstract after all, only seeing the finished product. But when you keep getting worse and worse she realizes that something is wrong. So she leaves you with a quick kiss then runs off to the communication thing Caine made after the whole Kaufmo incident. She calls him and when he picks up she screams into the phone that your glitching out. When Caine appears next to her she runs back over to where you are not even checking if Caine is following. When she gets back to you, you're still in really bad shape. She turns back to Caine and yells at him to help you. When he tells her that he can't she starts hyperventilating, then she sees him pick you up and the cellar hole open?! OH F&#$ NO! She basically punches Caine then clings to you protectively, ready to throw hands with Caine if she has to. Caine tries and pull her off when she starts glitching but she has the grip of a professional rock climber. So Caine has to keep curing her glitches at they appear. Cause in his mind your beyond help but she isn't. Then you start to improve. No more coughing and the glitching has slowed down! Pomni glares at Caine then turns back to you with a scared and tired smile on her face. Once your ok enough to talk you are going to get an earful. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER YOU WERE FEELING BAG ENOUGH TO ABSTRACT?!?!?! (Sorry this was so long. I got a little carried away. And surprisingly I'm pretty proud of this one. I hope you enjoyed it!)

xoxo, Jester

[alchemillalost]

The Season 8 Destiel Meta Post Nobody Asked For (and why I think the writers had a Destiel endgame option in mind for season 8)

Okay, so here's the long version of this post that almost nobody wanted, but I'm writing it anyway. This is LONG. I'm sorry. And I want to start with it seems like s8 is polarizing, but I rather liked it, and I think it's because I live in the (delusion?) truth of this theory. Stay with me if you want to Believe too. I think Season 8 was written with two possible outcomes in mind; and with an endgame Destiel being the more likely of the two that the writers anticipated. Sounds insane, I am aware. You will need to stick with me here and extend some trust, but I promise I can show my work.

We need to set the scene: It's 2012. We are launching headfirst into the height years of tumblr fan culture. Gangnam Style grips the nation. Destiel is huge in fanfiction & tumblr land. However, interestingly, we're about two years past show's peak. Already once SPN was slated to end with S5's natural arc conclusion, but it didn't-- it was renewed because it was making the CW money, simple as. They have pushed on into the Sera Gamble era with Seasons 6 and 7, which have their respective flashes of brilliance, but all-in-all generally struggled to find footing in the post-Apocalypse Supernatural verse that was never actually planned for. It's pretty evident that the writing and plotting isn't nearly as tight as S1-5, simply because 1-5 was all mapped out from the get go.

It's been interesting returning to the fandom after a decade, because I'm finding a lot of people now who really liked Season 7. No hate, to each their own, and maybe it was just the circles I was in at the time, but in the moment S7 wasn't received well at all. It felt like they kept inflating the "big bad" to heights that sometimes struggled to get fully fleshed out (which, to be fair, continues to be a writing problem going forward). And while watching S7 in Netflix binge-mode it doesn't feel quite so bad, at the time having a year's worth of your fave TV show where Sam and Dean are systematically and pointlessly stripped of everything that gave the show its signature personality was nothing short of torture (killing Cas, the Impala, torching Bobby's place, killing Bobby), all in the name of more man-pain. All of that punctuated with a lot of filler episodes that felt like more misses than hits, the absolutely insufferable Amy Pond plot, and dick jokes just because the writers thought it was funny.

Everyone's opinions on S6-7 aside, though, Supernatural wasn't landing financially for the CW either. Season 5 aired on Thursday nights, which is a fairly well respected time slot for established and successful shows, but with Season 6 and 7 we see a demotion to Friday night, 9 PM ET. This is basically the kiss of death for a cable TV show. You sent your shows to Friday night to die. The CW was looking to the future with newer shows and the writing was on the walls that this circus was probably wrapping up soon.

However, in true Supernatural fashion, it wouldn't fucking die. Honestly, and I can only speculate here, I imagine such a die-hard and still-growing fanbase coinciding with a huge spike in social media + ease of access to fan spaces with the surge in commonplace smart phones/laptop computers is probably what kept performing CPR on this show.

So along comes season 8. The show is being passed to Jeremy Carver and Ben Edlund as a returning writer to head up the show. Other people have discussed the Sera Gamble era in depth, but what you need to know here, basically, is that the Carver/Edlund mind are ones that a) have not shied away from queer themes and b) are a lot of those Destiel classics. We're talking Ghostfacers, The End, My Bloody Valentine, On the Head of a Pin, The Man Who Would Be King (Carver), and Free to Be You and Me, Point of No Return (Edlund). Essentially, Sera's philosophy tended to be "strip it back to just the Winchester brothers" and Carver & Edlund were generally more open to having the surrounding cast of supporting characters. And these two definitely don't shy away from Dean & Castiel's relationship.

Here is where my theory gets a little speculative: I believe this is the point where where SPN was given one last hail mary by the CW. New writers and a Wednesday night slot, you have one more chance to make this work, otherwise you're getting the axe. It was renewed pretty late, in early May of 2012 (compare to S6 being announced Feb 2010). S7 had barely scraped its renewal in late April the year prior, too.

Okay, so let's put ourselves in that position for a moment as showrunners sitting down in the Supernatural writer's room in May of 2012. There are two things that might happen: 1) you just might pull it off, and you do such a good job you pull the show from the proverbial grave or 2) you don't pull it off, and you need to make sure the show ends on a satisfying note that wraps things up neatly. And you need to write and film a season that, until you get the yes or no from the CW, can do either and both or neither, and you may need to pivot in one direction or the other pretty quickly while you're filming the back half of your season.

Enter the Destiel endgame theory, which I believe was their scenario 2. Time to introduce the exhibits from the season.

General: Flashbacks. I wish they'd explored Purgatory more too, but it would've taken up too much time if they might have to fast-track a series finale later. (Also Amelia should've been all made up in Sam's head to cope with losing Dean but again, different post. Maybe it became a time constraint to explore too much too, if they thought the show might be ending.)

The evidence:

8x01 We Need to Talk About Kevin & 8x02 - & What's Up Tiger Mommy? We get flashbacks of Dean tearing Purgatory apart to find Castiel. When he finds him, he makes it clear he's coming back to Earth with him.

8x03 - Heartache- This episode focuses on the love between an immortal being and a human.

8x05 - Blood Brother - Benny/Queer Dean discourse deserves its own post. You can take or leave this one for this post's theory.

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin - 1) Dean is clearly hiding a boner when Cas gets out of the shower? 2) We introduce that Dean is deeply upset that Castiel didn't make it through the portal-- to the degree he's faked an entire memory because he'd rather it be his fault Cas is gone than have been abandoned by him

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici - Castiel wants to join Dean as a hunter; we're beginning to establish Castiel's genuine desire to spend his life with the Winchesters. This is then juxtaposed when Naomi forces him to stay away at the end of the episode, further telling us this is Cas' desire vs. Heaven's.

8x11 - Larp and the Real Girl - This is mostly a fun episode, but it's an example of queerness being gently nudged to the forefront of plots without immediate dismissal or being the butt of a joke-- rare for SPN at the time.

8x13 - Everybody Hates Hitler - Ah, the Aaron "He was my Gay Thing" moment. Dean leans all the way into the flirting. Does not give the "don't swing that way" speech, gets flustered, is at a loss for words. He appears disappointed later when he was wrong. This has little precedent on the show when Dean's been perceived as gay, he usually dismisses it very quickly.

February 11, 2013: Supernatural is renewed for season 9, a week after Everybody Hates Hitler airs.

Per these estimates, 8x18 is the next episode to be filmed post-announcement, beginning 2/12.

8x16 - Remember the Titans - A Forbidden Love plot. You can take or leave this one for this theory.

8x17 - Goodbye Stranger - OK, here is our inflection point for editing, in my opinion. The last month of eps, more or less, have been pretty trials-centric or one-off. This episode airs 3/20/2013. At this point, we know we're getting a season 9, but we've been building with all of the above, and this ep was filmed pre-S9 announcement... so much so that we have an "I love you" in the original script for the infamous crypt scene. I fully believe it was filmed and edited out in post.

Second, Castiel turns the walls of Naomi's office/lobotomy lounge the bi pride colors during the crypt scene. Someone on the crew at Supernatural literally tweeted that morning to be on the lookout for special choices in Naomi's office. It was very intentional. Why else pick these colors and declare they're intentional? (I have searched up and down for this tweet but it was rare i was there i remember it [the tweet] all too well please trust me)

UPDATE: Tumblr hive mind found it and it was Jerry Wanek saying they were… crosses? In the intersecting lines in the windows? (that's how lines work? lol) And it was amidst a spell of saying fans were reaching in their analyses, and though some of his replies have that tinge, it's not direct about the color commentary. I never saw the back half of that saga or forgot about it, didn’t mean to misrepresent anything! Either way I’ve been corrected but that office is still bisexual and you can’t tell me otherwise

And don't get me started on the "unicorn" stuff, that one person you'd throw everything away for (but I understand this can be interpreted in many ways) However, the season is renewed, we've picked the path they never thought they'd actually pull off-- now we've got to backpedal this Destiel just enough to not impact our precious CW bottom lines, but not piss off our faction of fangirls who watch to ship.

8x20 - Pac Man Fever - Charlie tells Dean she thinks Castiel seems "dreamy". Charlie is very gay and would only say this to elicit a reaction from Dean, we don't really get much of one. Again, lack of a "speech" on his sexuality.

*Note 8x18 Freaks & Geeks and 8x20 Pac Man Fever are filler eps, I think they could've been pulled if we needed the extra time to sprint toward a series finale*

8x21 - The Great Escapist - 8x23 Sacrifice- We hit a real fast escalation toward the season finale from here. I actually think this overarching plot was more or less always the idea for the ending, but how exactly it was executed depended on the renewal status.

The Alternate Series Finale Ending (That I believe they thought they'd have to do when they wrote it): If they hadn't gotten renewed, we are set up for Sam to close the gates of Hell and Metatron to use a spell to close Heaven using the heart of a nephilim (product of human + angel love), the bow a cupid (an angel that arranges love in humans), and the grace of an angel in love with a human. Hell and Heaven shutter up, Sam dies, and Dean is left with a human Castiel who has, for the better part of the season, already been "testing out" being a hunter alongside Dean and has literally moved heaven and earth to have this. He will not have to be the immortal doomed to love a human, as in 8x03, or have the forbidden love of 8x16; we receive resolution on those subjects for our heroes that the monster-of-the-week characters did not. They resolve their feelings for each other, because if we kept Dean's crypt "I love you" and we establish Castiel's grace was in love with a human... well, what else is there to say? (Oh, yes, and they did exactly this and pulled the Destiel trigger in S15 when it was all ending.)

The Actual Ending (That I think they got surprised about the renewal and had to do): Backpedal. Edit. Only drop little subtext again. We just need Castiel's Regular Grace TM for this spell. We can keep selling merch and con tickets and get views if we appeal to the widest audience possible, and we're not taking risks now that we've performed a literal miracle rescue from a Friday night 9 PM slot.

And once we start Season 9, we get a LOT of being hit over the head with Castiel & Dean's Heterosexuality TM, so much so it's awkward and even out of character. (Human Cas sighing about boobs in early s9? Like please. Get real.) It's a HARD left turn, but it makes more sense if you consider it all in the context above. I just don't think they'd have gone in so hard on the bullet points I listed if they had thought Season 9 was in the bag.

TL;DR: I think we might've had Destiel in 2013, but if we had, we wouldn't have also had the rest of the seasons. Whether or not that's a good thing is up to you, but I think it was a combination of a lot of external factors, capitalism, and, well, it being 2013, sadly. I think they were cowards about it, but at the same time, even the writers probably weren't pulling every string, they also needed to answer to other agendas. Television is a medium that is rife with the push and pulls of a thousand factors that aren't the pure story. Idk how to really wrap this, but this has been over ten years in the making so enjoy the fruits of my brain rot.

[uchihaharlot]

I asked about Obito and Itachi’s crush offering a massage. And loved it. And now I am here to beg for a more…NSFW version? Please?

Consider your wish granted. 😈 I probably should have done that first time around, but sometimes I like writing fluffier cutesy things.

Also, my apologies nonny! I try to answer these in the order that was received, but there are often shorter drabbles I like to work with first. ❤️🫶

NSFW; dom-ish…Obi (wuuuuhhh??); assplay; penetration; soft/needy Itachi (🥹); soul sucking blow job; these men live the good life, I swear!! Someone come rub my busted ass hip!! 🥹😭😭

Obito:

His crush is a bit perturbed this time around. Why the hell didn’t he get the message the first time she took his damn shirt off?? He’s a bit…dense, ok? Obito is not stupid though, he definitely had a feeling she was up to something. Mm, still up to it this time too, man just didn’t want to get his hopes up. This time he doesn’t stop her when she rucks his shirt up, a little more rough than necessary. Her greedy hands mapping every small dip and minor scar on his back. Roaming down his hard muscles and up to his neck. Despite having small hands, his crush works out those tired muscles and soothes his aches.

‘Let me return the favor.’ It was bold, yes, and laced with a devious tone. Obito couldn’t think of a better way to make her squirt squirm than to return the gesture. ‘Finally.’ She thinks.

He does the same to her as she did him, removing her shirt and bra. Spinning her around pressing stomach flat to floor. Firmly dragging calloused hands over warm flesh. How soft and delicate she left in the hands of a man who has seen caused destruction. How he could destroy her with just a few thrusts. The first kiss on her shoulder has her heart racing. Obito’s warm breath was katon heat on her skin and caused goose flesh to break out. Searing smaller teasing kisses in his wake, Obito lifted her hips and pressed his severely aching girth to her and bent down to whisper in her ear.

‘Is this what you want?’ Dragging his lips down her backside again, lowering his briefs to let out cock and run it against her thigh until it pressed against her clothed heat.

‘..yes.’ Panting already, how badly this girl tried the first time around, she shouldn’t be this breathless. Obito didn’t want to make things any more tantalizing than they already were, but nonetheless, he pressed into those moist panties before slipping his arousal down between her thighs and shutting them.

Bodies pressed close, Obito gently rocked with her. Dragging his girth in and out of her thighs, the head of his cock was a great visual when she looked through her arms. Mimicking hard thrusts, she only imagined how full of him she would be. Why was he taking so long, ‘Obi..?’

‘Ask nicely.’ High on himself, Obito lowered the remaining barrier between them. Stuck his thumb in his mouth and ran it over the sensitive skin between her cunt before slipping it into her ass. The sound that ricocheted out the back of her throat made him press in further. Obito gently tugged her clit with his freehand, ‘or I’ll stop.’

‘No!’ Desperate, sheer lifted her head to look over her shoulder. ‘…please. Obito, gods please.’ He ran that hand to push her panties down to her knees and parted them a little, tracing her entrance.

‘Please. What?’

When her response was his fat cock, only then did Obito brazenly sheath himself to the hilt and slowly drag in and out. The loud mewl she let out told Obito he needn’t be too careful, if she was taking him this well. She could handle a little more. His thumb rocked in and out of her ass, hurried but precise. The way her soft but taut cunt sucked him in more as his thumb worked a different nerve, delivered coinciding sensations.

Her body quaked with his. Obito can only act tough for so long. The second her fluttering walls encapsulate his throbbing cock, its game, set and match. Neither one of them can keep quiet. Whispers of ‘I’m going to pump you full of my cum’ to ‘gonna put a baby in you’ seemingly come from a deep seated desire.

Her into reprieve is to thrust back into him with as much force, feeling the tip of his length kiss the spongey muscle of her cervix. Tap, tap and then the warmth of his loins spreads through her insides. Leaving a line of it down his shaft when he slips out.

They’ll lay on the floor in blissful silence, softly petting one another hair, face and body. Deep slow kisses until the euphoria has subsided.

Itachi:

Gurl is making Itachi flustered this time around. Two back rubs back to back, barely 24 hours apart. His genius didn’t leave room for debate, she was DTF. Just how far was this girl willing to go to please him? When she ran her hand over his abdomen, Itachi pulled her closer. There was no need to beat around the bush. If she really wanted it, just come out with it. Itachi was never one to mince words, he rather found being direct and concise yielded better results.

‘I know what your hands can do.’ He whispered, running a thumb down her palm. ‘I’m more curious about your mouth.’

Under the gaze of the sharingan, his crush drops to her knees. She’s gentle but eager with unfastening his slacks. Tracing the hair that peaks, he slouches in his chair. It wasn’t like he had anywhere to be. In the privacy of his own home he could give in to a prohibition or two. As his crush runs her hands over his briefs, both hands pulling down at the hem. He took himself in in hand and tapped the tip of his cock to her lips. She eagerly swiped up his shaft, Itachi growled lowly. Choked out when she sank the warmth of her mouth over his aching cock, to the base and back. Looked up at him and did it again. And again, taking the plunge over his aching head, and fully reaching the back of her throat. Gag reflex seemed nonexistent relatively quickly.

His eyes rolled shut when she tugged his testicles a little and took him in stride again. The urge to ram his cock in her mouth almost took precedence over the desire to last a little longer. Itachi was not virginal by any means, but goddamn his crush was making him feel like a half cocked 16 year old again. When she took him in both hands he went incoherent. Her breathy laugh and whispers fell on deaf ears, ‘does this feel good ‘Tachi?’ Followed the sounds of his low moans and pleas. Itachi gripped a hand at the back of her head to pull her off, but she neither yielded nor slowed down.

He wasn’t a push over, but that familiar itch of the floodgates opening up was the harbinger to the loud grunt that crawled out his throat. Her hands delicately worked his throbbing cock, the tingle scrunched up his balls and soothed the ailment for release. She drank him in full. Allowing the tip of his cock to ram the back of her throat once more as his creamy sperm coated and sloshed down her throat. Unfazed by the bitterness, and her little seductive pop off his cock. It drove him bonkers, Itachi bent down eagerly for a kiss. What was it about a woman drinking from your cock like a straw and swallowing it like the worlds freshest smoothie? Itachi gave two shits about the lingering flavor.

When she thinks he’s satisfied, he’ll bend her over and sweetly offer his gratitude…

[phantomoftheorpheum]

my favorite book to show changes in Shelter

*obviously spoilers for the first season of Shelter, as well as the trilogy, though I will be putting anything that relates to plots they may do in later possible seasons below a cut.

The Friendship Group - I really, really like the way they updated the friendship dynamics for the show. This is probably my absolute favorite change. In the books, Ema & Mickey are very much besties and the center of the story, while Spoon often feels like an addition, and Rachel doesn't have much content. While they do technically end up as a group by the end, there are very few scenes with the 4 of them and the main dynamic focused on is Mickey & Ema's.

Shira Bolitar - in the books, Mickey goes to live with his uncle Myron, and Shira doesn't exist. Myron is fine in the books (and he clearly exists in the show, even though we don't meet him), but I like the added focus on Shira (and Hannah, who also isn't a character in the books). They do give Shira some of Myron's material from the books, but she also has a lot of new stuff for the show. I guess some audiences might not think her added material is necessary, but I liked her being a more fleshed out character (I mean, Myron has his own books, which I haven't read, so he's probably very fleshed out in those, but he doesn't have much going on in these books).

Spoon - I think they nailed Spoons characterization, like he feels very much like his book counterpart (aside from a couple of repeated jokes/comments in the books that I didn't love and I'm glad that they didn't use in the show), but there's so much more of him in the show. He honestly does not have enough scenes in the books. I'm glad they recognized his potential in the show.

Dylan Shakes (spelled Shaykes in the books) - This one isn't that big of a deal, but I like that they threaded that mystery into the main plot of the show. This character has a (less fleshed out) very similar plot in the books, but it's very background and his disappearance doesn't feel that important to the town.

Ema's Romantic Arc - Whitney doesn't exist in the books. Ema has other stuff going on romantically in the books, I'll go a little more into this in the more spoilery section of the post.

One thing I think the books did better than the show is that Ashley and Mickey know each other for several weeks before she goes missing, as opposed to literally one day. While I understand that the show addresses that there's some transference going on with Mickey and his desire to save Ashley when he couldn't save his father, his fixation feels weirder in the show than in the books, where he'd gotten to know her a little bit better and they were tentatively dating.

*****spoilers for some book plots that could come into play in additional seasons of the show below!!*****

Ema & Mickey - Okay, honestly, this is a big one for me. It could be because I watched the show first and had that dynamic in my head going into the books, but I was very much not a fan of Ema & Mickey's feelings for each other in the books. While they never actually get together (unless he's going to write more?), we get confirmation that they both have feelings for each other and both know it. I don't know. This just didn't work for me. Maybe, partially, because Mickey spends a lot of the books being jealous whenever Troy & Rachel are brought up, but then will flip into being jealous about Ema liking someone else and back and forth so much. It might be realistic (since Mickey is mainly just like distracted by how hot he thinks Rachel is a lot), but it kind of taints the vibe of "Ema & Mickey are so emotionally connected and their bond is so deep" that it feels like we're supposed to believe at times. IDK. I very much prefer their friendship in the show.

Rachel - Show Rachel is so superior to the book version of Rachel. And it's not that book!Rachel is bad, it's just that she really doesn't get much time on the page, despite being central to the second book mystery, which basically revolves around her family dynamics. While her season 1 plot is pretty similar to her book 1 plot, that's about all the action we really see out of her in the books, and I think that the show did a great job increasing her presence and agency.

[ostrichmonkey-games]

Thinking out loud about Riverlands projects:

The Zines

Three (??) hexcrawl zines, each with a different environmental focus and set of hex-regions and procedural tools for filling things out even more. The first one is the most "general", and focuses on the rivers/waterways by introducing a set of different "hex-regions", plus some "river-crawl" procedures.

Aside: Calling these "hex-regions" because I ultimately want to preserve the anti-canon nature of the Riverlands by not creating a singular large, hex-map. These smaller regions could be strung together into a larger map, but there's no specific or correct way to do so, and the extra tools would also help someone further flesh out their version of the Riverlands.

The other two zines would focus on the Barrier Forest and various settlements/city-crawl tech. What exactly is going into the Forest zine is still up in the air, but I know for the Settlements zine is that it would feature the City of Bridges, which is a central location within the Riverlands setting.

The Game

The more I've been thinking about it, the more I want it to be easy to start playing in the Riverlands. The original setting zine is fine for that purpose, but especially when it comes to the more unique elements of the setting (some magic etc), then it becomes a lot more work to get it going in whatever system you choose to use. It's not impossible, but it is another barrier to play.

So, to that end, I have two ideas. First, a "total conversion" of the Ostrichmonkey Hack that makes it immediately Riverlands compatible. This is a fun idea to support my own game, and wouldn't be thaaaaat much extra work to come up with some extra classes/archetypes and some fun magical subsystems that fit with the Riverlands. The second idea is to do a set of "class packs" for various OSR/NSR systems (maybe more in the future? but those engines align with the play goals of the Riverlands right now).

I've already gotten a bit of a head start with this, since I'm working on an otterfolk OSE class (with plans to do Trickster-Poet, and some of the other more unique Riverlands options).

The Release

The end goal of this is to release the three hexcrawl zines in print. That won't be for a while still (gotta write the dang things first), but I'm also considering what avenues of digital releases to do.

The first and most straightforward is just, drop them when they're done. Bam, easy.

The second could be to follow something similar to Wolves Upon the Coast, where an initial digital version is released for a lower price, and with each iteration and update, the price goes up. This is something I'm sort of experimenting with with the Ostrichmonkey Hack anyways.

The third idea is to develop the hexes "live" via something like patreon.

The second two options are kind of stuck in my brain, because I think there is something interesting about the "live design" element of, which could be a great way to get people more interested in the process and results. The tricky part is you know, getting people interested in the first place.

Still much to consider! But in the meantime, there's still plenty of writing to do.

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Fic ideas that live in my head rent free and that I need to write before I can even start thinking about pre-writing for Sicktember!

Alright so technically not all of these are fleshed out ideas that live in my head rent free- but most of them are! And some of them are just necessary to set the building blocks for writing the ones that are indeed festering inside my head.

Cyno getting sick in the night, alone, while Tighnari is away. This idea I first mentioned in this post, it came to me while doodling an exceptionally miserable Cyno. Now this might just sound like a very vague idea, but trust me. I have this thing fleshed out already, it just needs to be written. It involves a lengthy delicious build-up of feeling crummy and unwell, a messy and miserable night, and a slightly delirious phone call... I just have write it okay

Cyno getting sick while out with Kaveh and Alhaitham. I won't ramble on too long about this one since it was already very fleshed out in this post. (Massive thank you to @relevantlucidity for the idea) I cannot tell you how much I have brainrotted about this one, I need to write it??

An introduction fic to my new series/AU, Akademiya Days. I talked about this series in this post. I've decided I'm definitely turning this into a fully fleshed out series and I'm! Super eager! To start working on it!! You guys should let me know what you think, is it okay for the first installment of the series to be plot heavy? Or do I do a lighter introductory fic? Lemme know what you think!

One of the fleshed out ideas I do have for the Akademiya Days series that I just have to write, is this absolute gem (again suggested by @relevantlucidity) and honestly, this deserves two bullet points because I'm absolutely writing both the scenarios rambled about in the post, albeit with a little tweaking so they don't just come off as altered versions of the same story!

My ideas definitely aren't limited to just these - I have so many more! But most of the brainrot I can rein in and work into Sicktember! The ones listed above are just the ideas that will simply consume me if I put them off for too long, haha!

Ngl I thought this list was going to be longer because it took me so long to write lmao, but the reason it took so long was because I insisted on including the links to the og rambles!

[magnus-rar]

Hi hello;;;; i come with a query. Do you mind explaining how you think jonathan got into that fleshy business? Did he read a cursed book? Did he have a mentor who pushed him towards it?

hello!

I should preface this by saying that I have 2.5 versions of his story in my head. aside from Flesh avatar Jonathan (Fanshawe, to be clear. I don't really talk about him much here), I am also an eye-aligned-but-not-an-avatar Jonathan believer (I think this is actually the most possible scenario, though that is a rant for another time). That Being Said I do have extensive headcanons about that

this is about to get very self-indulgent, so be warned. and note the discussions of drug addiction, Jonah Magnus (manipulation), self image issues and other Flesh-typical stuff

so, the way I like to see it going down goes like this: in the late 1820s Jonathan develops an opioid addiction (morphine, to be specific, as this part of his story is highly influenced by Bulgakov's Morphine. the plot revolves around a doctor who had the drug injected as a painkiller and became addicted to it). it soon becomes a very pressing issue as it starts to interfere with his day-to-day life and work, and as he realizes that he can't, actually, just drop it. Jonah, being his dear companion of many years, notices that something is wrong with him, maybe even Knows about it, and confronts Jonathan about it. while I do believe that by that point Jonah made peace with having to kill off his friends occasionally, I don't think it's something he does for fun. plus, having a doctor as your friend of very useful (and even more so since they are both trans, which means Jonah can trust him with his health), so Jonah volunteers to try to help him

they try a couple of things (lowering the dose gradually, quitting it cold turkey with Jonah overlooking Jonathan – diy rehab of sorts) and all of them fail miserably. so, Jonah decides to apply his knowledge of the supernatural to it: loss of control over yourself, your urges, your life sounds like a Web thing. then what is the opposite of it? which Fear would grant you total control over your body, balancing out Web's influence? it's the Flesh

or so he tells Jonathan – by that point Jonah did not believe in the ideas of balance, so he didn't really think Jonathan could "balance out" anything. he knew from the start that if Jonathan tried to flirt with the Powers, he would not walk away unaffected. he did mention to him that he may or may not end up in the service of the Flesh if they tried that, but Jonathan was desperate enough to agree anyway, which was very good for Jonah: he wanted to know what will happen. it was a very new Fear at that point, so he didn't know how it would interact with a human, since he never met an acolyte of It, and so... he made one

Jonathan was a good fit for the Flesh. as a trans man with no access to any kind of gender affirming procedures and in a very dangerous environment, he dealt with a lot of dysphoria. Jonah was trans as well and had similar feelings, but while Jonah's dysphoria came from being afraid that other people don't see him for who he is, Jonathan's came from the very experience of living in his body. plus, Jonathan was always curious about human anatomy, limits of the human body, its inner workings etc etc – it was one of the main reasons he wanted to pursue medicine. his personal philosophy resembled the Flesh's ideas too, even though it was mostly informed by his experiences as a doctor (a talk for another time). so, the only thing that Jonah had to do is suggest that path and maybe lead him a bit, but he was sure Jonathan would get the hang of it very quick. and he did

to be fair, it did help with the addiction, even if just by replacing one urge with another. it also made Jonathan rely on Jonah even more to navigate his new nature. Jonah suggested writing everything down to try to make sense of it (and to keep an account from his perspective, which Jonah could then study)

Jonathan was grateful to him for his help – he believed Jonah was fully sincere in that. and he was sincere, but... to an extent. at the same time, there was a faint feeling of betrayal, which he tried to suppress because (technically) he knew what he was signing up for. nevertheless, he couldn't come to terms with his new way of being, what occasionally led to him lashing out at Jonah for making him like this and then apologizing profusely. rinse and repeat for a couple of years

when Jonathan finally cuts ties with Jonah, he quickly realizes that without his help, it is very difficult to continue surviving. especially since he doesn't want to be a monster – never wanted to, but at least before there was Jonah to tempt him – so he struggles to keep himself fed. it gets worse and worse and eventually resolves in his suicide around 6 months after he sent the letter to Jonah. before doing that, he donated his diaries to the Magnus Institute as a way to preserve the knowledge about who Jonah Magnus is. no one would publish them, obviously, but he knew that Jonah didn't have it in him to destroy them, so the Institute seemed like his best bet

a brief pause for applause, and now we are in the paragraph where I address historical accuracy. Morphine was published in 1926, and they had modern syringes by that time. Jonathan died before their invention in 1853, but they already had morphine – it was isolated in 1803-1805. which means that he'd have to take it orally, which in turn would require a higher dose to cause addiction (but it's still the most addictive substance according to wiki, so it wouldn't take that much). does it have to be morphine? no. but I want it to be, so now it is

I'm not going to ponder how possible it would be for two Regency trans men to meet, but I want to mention James Barry who was a surgeon and a trans man born somewhere in 1789 just because it makes me happy to know about him :)

[transformers-mosaic]

Transformers: Mosaic #557 - "Loyalty Rewarded"

Originally posted on November 15th, 2010

Story - Zac DeBoard Art - Kei Tomoe Letters - Franco Villa Edits - Juan Pablo Osorio “Chopper” design - Andy Short Whirl design - Paul Vromen

deviantART | Seibertron | TFW2005 | BotTalk

Later revised and annotated for Transformers: The Lost Seasons

wada sez: The last of three Sunbow-version-of-Animated-character strips. On the Machine Wars Starscream color scheme used for Scrash, DeBoard said on Seibertron: “I believe Scrash's coloring was a way to differentiate between he and Skyquake (even though they were pretty much consdered to be the same character), as well as being a shout out to MW Screamer.” Onslaught’s seeming death here appears to be an choice, as he’s alive and well later in the Sunbow timeline—but Cattleprod points out that the Combaticons first appeared reduced to personality components after a failed coup, so presumably this is intended to lead into that, with Onslaught just heavily damaged but alive. The blue character is an OC based on the Diaclone helicopter who, in later official sources, would variously be given the names "Fumes", "Rotorbolt", and "Skyklik"—the creators of The Lost Seasons apparently used a common fan-name at the time, "Chopper". I've tagged him as Rotorbolt, because of the Wreckers connection. On the strip’s ending, DeBoard said: “Personally, I love ol Luggy and I just assume that while his body may have been destoyed, his spark survived....like they put it in a machine like they have a Garrus 9 or something.” He explained the strip’s plotting as follows: “Again, this is just "in my head" but Megs was probably obsessed with The Autobots on The Ark (at least for the moment) and didnt bother to take attendance, so to speak, and therefore didn't notice Lugnut. Another thing to keep in mind is...we were kinna working within a set continuity and trying to fit stories and characters where we can. Obviously Lugnut wasnt in G1 originally so it's a tricky thing to do. I just kinna thought it was a pretty neat way to introduce him and explain his "absence" from the show. Believe me, I try to take all of this stuff into account when I write, but if I overthink it, I'd never get anything written! Hehe. As for the faces of the "transplanted characters. It seems to be harder to translate the facial features of the TFA bots into a G1 style (for instance, I felt Lockdown's face in the Drift mini was just horrific), but I think Lugnut came out very well in this. [...] We are floating around some more stories featuring G1 Lugnut so hopefully he will be fleshed out more in later stories. Personally, I hope to bring his personality closer to the fanatic he was in TFA, which is what made him one of my favorite characters. With the space limitations of the Mosaic, we really didn't get to do a lot of it (though it was more prevalant in the script).” This strip evolved from an earlier script of DeBoard's, which went unused: “Unfortunately, I realized there was already a Mosaic piece essentially telling this same story. This one however was set in the G1 universe”—I’ve reproduced the full text below, alongside the usual Italian translation. The earlier strip with a similar idea was “False Saviour”, in case you were wondering.

Before I was little more than a thug.  Making a living by robbing those less fortunate than me.  Feeling I was destined for a greater purpose, I had applied numerous times to the Cybertron Military Academy only due be denied due to what the Head of the Academy deemed was an aggressive attitude.

This would haunt me in my future endeavors as I could find little work.

Eventually I found the Arena.

It was there than I unleashed my aggression and anger, my strength was unparalelled and I became known as the Kaon Crusher.

And, as quickly as I embraced my newfound outlet, I soon found myself longing for more.

Was this all I was meant for?  Mindlessly destroying mechs for little more than a thrill?

Blastburn lies defeated at my feet and I feel nothing.  I walk away, feeling just as beaten as my foe.

"Your designation Lugnut?"

I nod.

"It is."

"My commander has had an optic on you for over a Vorn.  He has seen your indifference and longing."

"What do you or your commander know of me?!"

"He believes he can provide you with a sense of purpose--a new life, if you will."

The blue mech (Soundwave) has my attention.

"And what do you call your glorious leader" I say to him mockingly.

"His name is...Megatron."

At the end would be a close up of Lugnut's single red optic, with an image or a shadow of G1 Megs in it.

[undead-potatoes]

I've been trying to figure out just who Aurora is, or rather why she is the way she is and why she fights the Urge the way she does.

I think she was always going to be a resist Durge, both bc of the way I make characters, but also bc of my own issues with intrusive thoughts. Like it have gotten so bad at times that it have brought on borderline suicidal thoughts for me, and playing a resist Durge has been strangely cathartic while still having fun with it bc it's taken to such silly extremes (and it's fun to be unhinged about shit sometimes). To fight the demons in your mind with everything you've got, and fucking win? Because at the very core of you there's a good person? That's the real power fantasy right there.

The basic idea is that getting non-consensual brain surgery and tadpoled caused a sort of factory reset in her brain, reverting her back to a version of herself similar to the time before the Urge.

I need to write a post about her background and all, but tl;dr: she grew up in a small, but close knit community in the poorer areas of Baldur's Gate, consisting mostly of other dwarves. So much of her upbringing was about the love and joy forged in human? dwarven? connections, and in looking out for one another. Her adoptive mother was also of the altruistic sort, which might be where some of Aurora's more self sacrificing tendencies stem from.

It's a funny little case of nature vs nurture. On one hand she's a child of Bhaal, his literal flesh and blood, with death and murder at the very core of her being. On the other there's years and years of learned empathy and kindness, genuinely felt and displayed, and it has wrapped itself so tightly around that bloodstained core that it can't simply be cut away.

She've also been fighting the Urge for a long time, I think, since before she was an adult. This has no real base in canon, but I love the idea of it starting small when she's a little kid, and her having to learn to live with it, to suppress it the best she can. That she would work so hard to be so good, in opposition to the depravity boiling hot in the back of her mind, which is partly why she's so good at resisting later on; it's second nature to her, as natural as breathing.

When she wakes up on that beach it's just her again, a ghost of her former self, but it's her nonetheless. The Urge is there too, trapped among the threads of her former life once again, and held in check for just a little bit longer.

This feels like a lot of words saying a whole lot of nothing, like there's about 19 layers of further explanation and nuance that naturally connects to all of this but is hard to explain simply. Reading through all of this feels so fucking cringe, but I'm trying to be sincere here so I'm just pushing through it. It doesn't have to be good, it just have to make me feel good (and a little insane).

Kinda unrelated, but it's also important to me that Aurora just has all the weird little tics, like doing the etch-a-sketch head shake, loudly telling her Urges to shut up, or doing a bunch of weird fidgeting when she's especially stressed out. And then ofc doing her very best to hide or mask that when other people are around and can see/hear her. Baby girl I'm giving you so much of my mental baggage, I'm so sorry and I love you.

[eclipsecrowned]

🔥🔥🔥 for whatever u want!!! if u dont have any more off the top of ur head + want a topic then do berserk. also why is this text so big why am i yelling. kadi help // @likemosaic

i am printing and framing this ask jsyk.

I don't know if the community at large understands what an OC is anymore. Like. There's fandom OCs, where you create a new dude to live in an extant setting. There's fandomless OCs, where you create a new dude in either a new world or applicable to all worlds. There's OCs who were formerly canon related, such as when you were really into a franchise but ended up developing your original dude so contrary to later established lore that you just pull them entirely, or you so fell out of love with the source material you pack up a decade plus canon dude and start sanding them down away from the shit views of the creator. There's player character OCs, where you get to write your dude you played in an rpg. Many roads, same result.

Then there's some stuff I've seen recently that is baffling to me.

People filing serial numbers off of a popular FC's role and claiming that Blarbo, the 6'3" chainsaw wielding vampire clown whose FC is internationally recognized white man du jour Large McHugebig written for the Murderous Mimes of the Multiverse fandom, is totally different to Blorbo, the 6'3" chainsaw wielding vampire clown whose FC is internationally recognized white man du jour Large McHugebig, from the Murderous Mimes of the Multiverse film series. People can't actually think that's original content, surely. That's very clearly the same character with token adjustments. Why would you not just play Blorbo with some divergences or personal lore?

Or people who have purported to write OC concepts off of barely fleshed out canon elements, which is usually one of my fav OC bases... Except wait, that's literally a canon take on that concept from an extant adaption. Yes, Count Blorbinski's wife is an unnamed figure in the original novel, but the 1999 anime 'Blorbinski's Bouncy House of Doom' said her name was Blorbentina. How... Coincidental that your OC for Countess Blorbinski is also named Blorbentina. And has the exact same backstory and dynamic with the Count as from the anime. And you use the 1999 design for the Countess as her FC -- This isn't an OC, as much as you keep saying it. Bouncy House of Doom is one of the most popular anime out there too so how did you think this was going to work? Again, why would you not just play the 1999 version of this character instead of presenting her as your own creation?

More and more often I see 'ten years ago this would have been an AU/fandomless blog for a canon but today we pretend this is original content' blogs pop up. I feel like if I rolled up with a Calishite Warlock named Cal'aydin who was bonded to a wind spirit and was fighting depression after his brother's death as well as the forces of the BBEG, you guys would righteously call me on 'this is K*ladin St0rmblessed reskinned for D&D. You didn't come up with any of this.' But more and more I see 'original content do not steal' except? It's already extant IP with one or two concepts changed to suit the mun's tastes. Everything else remains very clearly the work of [insert household name creative of the 20th-21st centuries here.]

It amazes me how often I see these blogs pop up, and just how popular some of them are. I cannot wrap my head around it. Like, it's their blog, they can do whatever, as long as they're not profiting off someone else's creative labor it's not a big deal. But it is one of those 'has become more common in the community lately' things that makes me want to stand up and ask 'is anyone else seeing this or am I just going crazy?' I feel like I'm in the minority by not caring for this trend/new definition of 'original character' just based on how often these blogs cross my dash.

[so-many-ocs]

hi hello how on earth do you start on a new concept??? now that i've finished and am in the process of publishing my first novel i literally have. no brain. no thoughts head empty.

like i can think of a premise, i can think of the major complication, but from there onwards i find myself unable to flesh out anything. and these are ideas i love, too! it's frustrating :<

i've definitely been here before, and it can be a tough place to get out of, but don't lose hope!

let's talk brainstorming

there are a few ways to go about this:

create a bulleted list of all the things you know you want in your story.

under each idea or “problem,” elaborate with potential solutions and outcomes. try to think of the “coolest” option or the one you would enjoy writing more (you can refine ideas later!)

use these as opportunities to create more conflict throughout the story

freewrite scenarios based on the information you already have. see how conflict might emerge based on these ideas. keep the scenes that have potential, refine or discard the ones that don’t. 

make a mind map, starting with what you have and working your way out into smaller branches.

generally speaking, i’d start broad and narrow your ideas down until you can fine-tune the details. what setting best suits your premise? what kind of people might live there? what made those people the way they are? how are they at odds with each other or their setting? et cetera, et cetera, until you have an idea of what to write.

you can look into different plot structures, as many of them provide a description for each “beat” of the plot and give you rough guidelines to work with. if you’re not big on plot structures, try summarizing your ideas in greater and greater detail.

when i’m really stuck, i go to prompt websites. a lot of them have character prompt generators, and, even if i don’t necessarily like what the website comes up with, i can at least use it as a jumping-off point for fleshing out different ideas. 

mostly, though, focus on beginning with something general and getting more specific as you go. coming up with a whole new book idea can be intimidating; it’s much more manageable if you break it down into chunks or stages. for me, the stages are as follows: brainstorming the premise > brainstorming the plot > rough outline (goes over the main “beats” of the story) > main outline (revised version of the rough outline with more info on potential conflicts) > scene cards (i create a “writing prompt” of sorts with a brief overview of what i want to happen for each scene, what conflict needs to be resolved, etc).

take it one step at a time, divide your task into stages, and don’t get frustrated with yourself for the slow parts of the process. trust that you can figure it out.

i hope this was helpful! best of luck, and happy writing!

[nshtn]

5, 12, 24! asking lots because your writing is amazing, plus i have to see more of your sona ❤️❤️

Here you go, Little Anon! You're so sweet ahhh little bean eee!!

5) "They had become well acquainted with him, he thought."

24) The amount of cool adventures and smut I write is untenable and largely unpublished because it's all OC x Canon bullshit I don't think anyone wants to see, such as... (though the one below also applies solid information on my WIP Uroboros Wesker verse).

12) Wesker but he's niceys because of extraneous reasons explained in extreme and unfortunate detail below. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

I apply the currently understood theory that the hippocampus is physically different in a sociopath / psychopath vs individual not identified to have it, plus the personal verse headcanon that human brains can unassign synapses and their associated axons without neural loss (e.g. emotion ranges in a psychopath, or vision pathways in complete 20-year-sustained blindness, in the same way a Creatures 3 Norn can unassign movement neurons and can have their axons jostled to refresh the synaptic connection).

Then we sandwich the classic "Uroboros, but he lives" and "Uroboros, but he comes back wrong because it infects his brain, even if he's totally compatible". Now, we divert again: What if it reconnected all those silly diminished axons to their previous "known-healthy" state, meaning Wesker is stuck burning alive in a volcano Feeling™ about it? He's burning alive in tarry bubbles of magma, having ego death after ego death while being brazen-bulled over and over until his form finally melts out of the way and re-integrates into a "Wesker-y shape"...

This sets the stage for the story / roleplay, but it's also set-up for my personal Uroboros Wesker I want to write headcanons and xreader content for, whom I don't have a verse name for yet. I am open to suggestions!

[You don't have to read further below if you don't care about the OC x Canon version of this, but I've included lots of juicy medical details with reading links if you'd like more facts about my Wesker's state.]

Wesker ends up going a bit feral for an undisclosed period of time (2-6 months, presumed dead) and eating everything on the island that he can grab in a state of depleted cognitive and physical strength, in a fugue energy starvation state mimicking severe Cannibal Disease, though temporary. He instinctually heads to a TRICELL scientist's house, specifically one who had the gall (or nerve, or bravado) to strike casual conversations with him when he was their boss and they worked on Plaga subspecies classifications in the same building (they're a paleo-biologist(?)) because they're one of the only people he can think of in that moment.

More on that in another post which I'll tag as Hector Maxwell.

Wesker breaks open their door and collapses on their floor not knowing where he is or quite frankly who he is, with extreme, crippling hunger and low insulin, begging for help, something absolutely unprecedented of him. His ghrelin is high, his motilin is out of control, his leptin is nonexistent, and his thiamine is low. His clothing is basically nonexistent save for some flesh-burnt scraps that cling to his skin. He is in unbelievable pain. They load him up on Oxycodone and inject him with insulin and thiamine, give him a glucagon nasal spray and rush him microwave meals (hey, don't judge them) until he stops moaning their name brokenly while trying to resist chewing their hair.

They treat his wounds as best they can with a spare health kit and stitch lacerations shut, and, thus, a type of mysterious acquaintanceship begins as Wesker begins to regain his faculties...

Wesker finds that though he is no less rabidly intelligent, he is afflicted with various irreversible phenotypical mutations and Uroboros has infiltrated his brain tissue. The veins nearest his skin have receded due to T-Virus malnutrition-conservation, his nails are tough, keratinous and claw-like, his teeth are carnivorous with a few extra small canines, his palate is carnivorous with a preference for iron-rich raw red meat with a severe uptick in necessary intake, his scars are scaly, and he has gained an entire sense revolving around his Uroboros tentacles. They now allow him to sense the lightest step from up to a mile away, able to predict earthquakes before they happen and the marching of men or helicopter blades at the expense of severe constant overstimulation he must learn to harness and tamp down.

He's so hungry all the time. He can barely think through the crippling hunger, and he never feels full. The wheel of Samsara bears its' gear upon him daily, as he now feels the full spectrum of emotion at a dramatic and uncontrollable intensity that leaves his eyes like high-lumen floodlights. Not to mention the mental effects... he often feels like his mind slips from him and he does inexplicably animalistic things, like tracking animals with optokinetic vision, twitching and sudden cursing, drooling when food is present, and what seems to present itself as a sort of accursed pack-bonding to such a previously cold man, one who had erroneously believed himself beyond the need for socialization; the paleontologist that is rooming him has to manage and assist as he adapts while also dealing with Wesker getting oddly friendly (sitting next to them, awkward small talk, touchiness/desire for physical reassurance, being awkwardly followed around, falling asleep on them, ... crying to them and often breaking down or becoming hysterical and consolable only through physical touch [hugs, snuggles, the like]).

Eventually, Wesker is forced to reconcile with painful, uncomfortable feelings and undeniable truths; he needs socialization and support now that his tolerance for human suffering is somewhat neurotypical, has been robbed of his ego, status and pride, and can no longer perform unethical bioweapons science to the degree he did previously due to the sheer mental agony that assaults him almost all hours of the day knowing he... he did that. Did it, caused it, was it, made people feel... feel this hunger. A bludgeon, sharp and inescapable... it eats at him, and maybe, maybe that's why he's so goddamn hungry all the time, some kind of punishment...

Anyway, there's smut somewhere in there where he goes hog wild on the cute dino research twink. They end up very much so situationshipping because it's really difficult not to do that when your ex-boss (world's greatest virologist and mass murderer) is snuggling up to you and crying on you and getting in your personal space and experiencing so much pent-up 'need for human contact'. Wesker is bound to fall for someone who meticulously plays doctor, is much shorter and lighter and weaker than he, and, not bound to Umbrella's teachings, is generally compassionate.

It'd be very easy to just sub in a reader instead of Hector, so I'd do that if I wrote for him (and good god I want to so bad).

[timecma]

2 things! 1-Do you play HSR (Honkai Star Rail) and 2-No pressure or anything but when is your story coming back?

I played a bit of HSR but I’m nowhere near as far along in it or as active on it as I am in Genshin. The last character I got was Boothill lol (I live laugh love Boothill).

It still astounds me that people actually enjoyed reading my story haha. I know it’s been a while, but with school and everything it’s been hard to even find time to write. I think I mentioned before that I’m kind of revamping literally everything—so I also have to find the time to draw the chapter art. So many characters are being scrapped/added/changed to help facilitate the storyline a bit better without me having to be so long-winded with it. The problem I was having was I would just write and write and write without really taking the story anywhere. I want to have a bit more structure to it so that it’s easier for me to get chapters published and easier to read as a whole. But, I won’t be able to do anything until school gives me a break 😭

It takes a bit of time to plan out a story lol. I also don’t wanna be like Chris Colfer and have inaccurate timelines and stuff 😔

I promise it won’t be away forever, but since you’ve been so patient, I’ll give you a couple things you can expect in the new version:

1. Further fleshed out backstory lore for Aurelia (and her mother 😒) along with her and Cyrus’s father (people who know about him seem to like him a lot don’t worry)! But why does Aurelia have light skin and gold hair if her biological father has dark skin and blue hair?? Something’s going on there…

2. More Negative content in general since he seems to be a fan-favorite. He also gets a new underling/sidekick! And when I say more Negative content, I also mean his role in other worlds and what that has to do with his identity and his overall plan. OoooOoOoOoOooOo….

3. Actual Demon King stuff (and he’s updated too) 👀

4. Cyrus’s home world is almost fully fleshed out so seeing some of that too! Probably a lot of that too… I might include a small fetch quest there to give you all a tour. I plan on making a completely separate story for that world (that does not have Cyrus as a main character), but that’s A LONG WAYS AWAY and not fanfiction so 😔

5. Some new characters who are projected to be fan-favorites too. Such as Vincent. Y’all might know who Vincent is, but, if you don’t, trust me you will. We will also be exploring more of my fanon backstory for the Demon King and how it connects to Xanthous as his reincarnation. The Demon King himself WILL be an added character (I’m so excited to actually do a art piece of his new design)! This is gonna be fun.

Here’s some questions that hint at lore drops:

What the heck is going on with Aurelia and why does her mother scare me?? Why does Indicum work with her but seem to be on Cyrus’s side?? Is it maybe because Aurelia’s true intentions are not what we think they are??? 😦

What is Negative’s secret ambition that makes him side with Aurelia? Why do his hands always hurt?? Why does he also have the ability to travel between worlds?????

Xanthous has got some insane lore! What’s going on with his underworld (and what’s going on in the aboveworld??) Why is he so secretive about the demons?

Where is Elrik? Where did he go?? Somebody must know! (Somebody does indeed)

Why is Cyrus’s scepter starting to talk to him?????

What does the design on the back of Cyrus’s neck mean? Is it a continuation of his tattoo?? Doesn’t seem like it. Why does he have such a bad reaction when that mark is hit??? And why can hear a voice in his head reacting to it too?

And finally, does the Inamoratos Grimoire actually exist? If so, who has it? Who made it? Why? What does it have to do with Xanthous and Cyrus specifically???

Well there you have it: Some fun things that are in the works! Thank you again for being so patient.

[griseldabanks]

Fundevogel

For my entry in @inklings-challenge's Four Loves Fairy Tale Challenge, I decided to write my version of the obscure Grimm's fairy tale "Fundevogel," which can be found in text and audio here. It's always appealed to me, for reasons I hope will soon become obvious to you! I took some creative liberties with my rewrite, mostly to flesh out the characters and make certain things (hopefully) make a little more sense. Please let me know of any thoughts, questions, or constructive criticism you might have!

Once upon a time, there was a rich landowner whose land was covered with lush forests. He had a loving wife, with whom he lived happily in a beautiful house on a hill overlooking the forest on all sides. Early in their marriage, they were blessed with a lovely daughter they named Lina.

For five years, this little family lived in happiness and prosperity. Lina grew more lovely every day, her hair falling about her shoulders in golden curls, her eyes sparkling like the sun on the merry brook at the foot of the hill. The house was filled with merriment and song, the servants carrying boughs of fragrant leaves and flowers in from the forest to freshen the grand old house. Lina skipped and sang on the emerald-green grass on the hill on fine days, and brought her songs and games indoors when the weather confined them all to the house. Many long, dark winter evenings were brightened by Lina's laughter mingling with that of her parents as they played and sang before the fire.

But on the darkest night of Lina's fifth year, her mother took ill and was confined to her bed. The illness moved swiftly, so that the landowner had barely begun to worry for his wife's safety before she was taken away. The servants whispered that this sickness was unnatural—after all, no one else had fallen ill. A curse, they said, though none could say who would have dared to curse their kind mistress, nor why.

Overnight, Lina's sunny, golden world was overshadowed by grief and darkness. Bowed down with grief and a thousand unanswerable questions, her father no longer tossed her up in the air with a laugh or carried her about on his shoulders as he strode through the forest. Moreover, he no longer let her run carefree about the hilltop or at the edge of the forest, not even during the height of summer. He was terrified of losing the only treasure remaining to him that he cared about, so he kept Lina closeted away in the big old house. By his orders, the house was shut up and kept silent. No more songs echoed through the halls. No more flowers were brought from the forest to freshen the rooms.

As time passed, Lina's father emerged from the darkness swamping him long enough to see that Lina needed more care than he in his grief-stricken state could give. At that time, one of his servants approached him. Old Sanna was a fat old crone who had worked in the kitchens since the landowner himself had been a boy. He remembered her scolding him coldly when he would sneak down to the kitchens as a child to sample a pie before dinner.

“My Lord,” Old Sanna said, wringing her hands with a gap-toothed smile, “if it please you, I would be happy to act as Lina's nurse. I will see to it that no harm comes to the lovely child's head.”

With relief, the landowner swiftly agreed to this arrangement. He put Lina under Old Sanna's care, then threw himself into his work as a balm for his grief. He would stop in once a day to see that all was well with Lina, but besides that, Lina rarely saw her father anymore.

As for Old Sanna, Lina at first thought the old woman was kind, as all the other servants were. The old woman preened and petted her, running a gnarled finger down Lina's smooth cheek and admiring her youthful beauty with many words of praise. This treatment was a far cry from the love her mother had always lavished upon her, but Lina craved even the tiniest crumb of esteem, now that her days had grown so cold and empty.

However, as Lina grew, she slowly became aware of a hungry light that would gleam in Old Sanna's eyes when she spoke these words of praise. Sometimes, when she would brush out Lina's soft curls, her gnarled fingers would tangle almost painfully in them, as if she secretly longed to yank Lina's hair straight off her head. Sometimes, Old Sanna would sigh as she helped Lina into her pretty little dresses, “Ah, once I was young and beautiful as well! To have a body as young and strong as yours....”

Lina also began to hear the occasional whisper from the other servants, when they thought no one could hear. They said there had been nothing natural about her mother's death—it had been too quick for someone as young and strong as her, and those who had helped prepare the body for burial said she looked as though she had aged several decades overnight, as though someone had stolen her youth away.

Though she could not quite explain it to herself at such a young age, Lina discovered that she did not like Old Sanna at all. Lina's needs were met, but there were no games with Old Sanna, no songs, no laughter. Lina had no playmates, and Old Sanna wouldn't even let her play by herself if it disturbed the old woman's rest in front of the fire. She was to sit and spin, or embroider, or work on her letters. But when she did, she would often look up and find Old Sanna watching her with that hungry look in her eyes, as if she longed to gobble Lina up.

It was at this time that Lina's father went on an inspection of his property, and his path led through the forest. When the edge of the forest had left his sight, he heard the sound of a baby's cry high above him. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that, sure enough, a baby lay in an eagle's nest high above him. It seemed that an eagle had swooped down and snatched up the baby from where it had been lying in the open, and brought it back to its nest.

Taking great care not to shake the tree and dislodge the child, the landowner climbed the tree and brought the baby down to safety. The child was a boy, not more than a year old, with dark eyes and a tuft of hair as brown as a sparrow's wing. He seemed strong and healthy, though hungry and frightened, and the landowner's heart went out to him. He carried the child back to his house, sending servants into the surrounding countryside to discover whose child this was, and saw to it that the child was fed and washed.

When a thorough search had been made and none claimed the child, the landowner decided to raise the boy as his own son. He could not bear to leave such a small, helpless child to fend for himself in the great, wide world—and besides, he thought perhaps the boy would be a good playmate for Lina. So he made it known that the boy was now his son, and he named him Fundevogel, or bird-foundling.

As for Lina, she was overjoyed to have a little brother to love and care for. At last, her cold solitude was brought to an end. She called her brother Vogel for short, saying that he was her little sparrow that her mother had sent from heaven so that she would have someone to play with. And from the first time Vogel looked up at Lina as she held him in her arms, he smiled with a look that would have melted a heart of ice.

Lina and Vogel could not have looked more different from one another. When Vogel began to walk, it became common to see Lina holding his little hand as he toddled along the dark corridors, her golden curls seeming to shine in the candlelight while Vogel's dark hair seemed to blend into the shadows. Nothing in their appearance would have suggested they were brother and sister, but it was not long before they were inseparable. Any time Vogel was taken away from Lina, he would begin to cry, and Lina would grow sad when she had to leave him, even for a short time.

“Mother left me,” Lina said sadly to Vogel as she rocked him to sleep at night, “and Father is rarely here. So I will never leave you, little brother, if you will never leave me.”

Old Sanna still had the care of the two children, for though the landowner had taken Vogel in, he had much work to do and little time to care for two small children. At first, Old Sanna seemed resentful that she was now responsible for another charge, and left much of the work of caring for Vogel to Lina. Though at first it was difficult, for Lina knew nothing of caring for babies and was only a small child herself, she was more than happy to look after her little brother. Besides, Vogel would laugh and babble and sing, and was a much better companion than grumpy Old Sanna sitting before the fire.

As the years passed and Vogel grew into a fine, strong boy, Lina began to notice the way Old Sanna would look at him when she thought no one was looking. She had grown used to the hungry light in Old Sanna's eyes when she looked at Lina, but the hunger seemed even more ravenous when she looked upon little Vogel. Lina was not sure what to make of this, but she was even more careful to remain by Vogel's side at all times.

One night, Lina woke when she heard someone shuffling around the nursery. Peering carefully over her blankets so that she would seem to still be asleep, Lina saw Old Sanna standing hunched over by the fireplace. By the dim light of the dying embers, she could see that Old Sanna clutched the hairbrush with which she brushed Lina's golden curls every day. Old Sanna pulled out a single golden hair from the brush, lifted it to her lips, and ate it.

With a flash of light, Old Sanna suddenly straightened her old, bent back. Lina could not be quite sure in the uncertain light, but it seemed to her that Old Sanna had become transformed into a young woman, smooth-cheeked and beautiful, moving with the ease of youth.

When the morning came, however, Lina looked at Old Sanna and saw that she was the same old crone she had always been. At first she thought she must have simply dreamed that the old woman had become young, but that night she feigned sleep until she heard Old Sanna moving about the room again. Just as she had done the night before, Lina watched Old Sanna eat a single hair from Lina's hairbrush, and was transformed into a young woman once more. Night after night, the old woman would go through the same ritual, as though the only thing sustaining her life was devouring Lina's hair.

Lina told no one of what she had seen, for who would believe her? And if Old Sanna knew of her suspicions, what would she do? So Lina remained silent, but became even more protective of her little brother. She grew more and more suspicious of the way Old Sanna looked at him. If she merely ate the hairs that fell from their heads, that would not be a problem. But Lina feared that eventually even this would not be enough for Old Sanna.

As much as possible, Lina tried to keep Vogel away from Old Sanna. They spent many long hours together in the extensive gardens around her father's house, and occasionally ventured into the forest—but never out of sight of the great house. The many hours they played together not only kept them out of the old nurse's hungry grasp, but also strengthened the bond between brother and sister.

In the years following the discovery of Fundevogel in the branches of the tree, Lina began to realize that he was far from ordinary. When he was overcome with great emotion, he would often transform into a bird, or a toy he had been playing with, or some other object he was familiar with. The first time he turned into a little sparrow while crying at the top of his lungs, Lina was filled with terror that he would be forever trapped in that form. However, once he had flown about the room several times, twittering loudly, he settled on Lina's pillow and became a little boy again in the blink of an eye.

Lina went to great lengths to keep her brother's strange ability from being discovered. She feared that, if anyone knew what Vogel could do, they would think he was a fairy-child or an evil spirit, and they would send him back into the forest where he had been found. Unable to bear the thought of being separated, Lina told Vogel sternly that he was not to talk about his gift or transform into anything unless they were alone. Vogel loved Lina more than anyone in the whole world, so he always strove to follow what she said.

As Vogel grew, he gradually became better able to control his powers. When they were alone in the forest together, he would beg Lina to let him turn into a bird or a squirrel or a fox. One such time, when he turned into a tree to stop her from pulling him to his feet to go back home, Lina transformed with him. Vogel became a tall oak tree, and Lina became a vine that twisted around his trunk. Vogel was so surprised that he immediately changed them back into their original forms.

“I'm sorry!” Vogel cried, tears filling his eyes as he stared imploringly up at Lina. “I didn't mean to! Did it...hurt?”

“No...” Lina said slowly, staring down at her hands that had been pale green leaves moments before. “But it felt...strange....”

An overwhelming curiosity overcame Lina. Taking Vogel's little hand in hers, she said, “Try turning into something else. Maybe...a cow?”

With an overjoyed laugh that Lina wanted to play with him, Vogel turned into a cow just like the ones that produced the milk they drank every morning. Lina held tight to his hand, and she became a silver bell hanging from his neck. She laughed out of pure joy, and the bell tinkled merrily.

After this discovery, Lina and Vogel would often transform as part of their games. Lina could only transform if she were touching Vogel when he used his power, but that was of no matter. They were always together.

As birds and beasts, the brother and sister roamed the nearby countryside, discovering the beauties and small wonders of the world around them. No longer were they confined to the cold, drab halls of their gloomy house. Even in the winter, if they had a spare moment to themselves, they could turn into mice and explore inside the walls, or become wolves and race across the icy hills in the moonlight. Once or twice, Lina was sure that Old Sanna had seen them transform, but the old woman never spoke a word about it. Lina thought that as long as they were careful, perhaps they would still be safe.

But then came the day that their father left on a trip to a town several days' journey away. Though he kept himself busy, and Lina and Vogel saw little of him on any given day, his presence was constantly felt in the huge old house, and he returned at the end of every long day. This time, however, he would be gone for a score of days, long enough that he took a number of servants with him. Old Sanna was to be left in charge of the household while he was gone, for she had lived there all her long life and knew what was to be done. At the ages of ten and five, Lina and Vogel did not need her constant care; they had been taking care of each other for the most part already.

Thinking he was leaving his children in good hands, their father left to conduct his business. As soon as the sound of jingling harness had faded into the distance, Old Sanna turned upon the children with a hungry light in her eyes brighter than ever before, and Lina felt her heart sink to her toes. She could see now that the only thing holding the old woman back had been her fear of the consequences should harm come to the children while their father was near.

But Old Sanna did nothing that night. As she pondered it in later years, Lina suspected that the old woman was merely waiting until she could be sure that her master was far enough away that he could not be swiftly fetched back home. So the children went to bed unharmed, but Lina did not close her eyes all night.

It was in the early hours of the morning that Lina heard some of the remaining manservants grumbling in the courtyard. Creeping to the window, Lina cracked it open and listened to them wondering aloud why Old Sanna had ordered them to gather enough wood to make a bonfire, and so early in the morning.

“She said she was ravenously hungry,” one of the servants said with a yawn.

“Oh, is that why she had us haul out that old cauldron?” the other servant replied. “I wonder what she intends to cook in it.”

“Whatever it is,” the first servant grumbled, “I certainly hope she sees fit to share it with the rest of us. There ought to be enough to go around—one could boil a grown man alive in that thing!”

Upon hearing this, Lina's very blood turned to ice in her veins. She knew that Old Sanna would not be boiling a grown man in the cauldron, but two children. Clearly, she would no longer be satisfied with a few hairs from their heads.

Swiftly, Lina dressed herself and went to shake her little brother awake. “Make haste!” she urged him as he blinked sleepily up at her. “We must run away—now, at once! Old Sanna means to boil us alive and eat us!”

Vogel began to cry. “But I don't want to be eaten!” he wailed.

“Hush, now,” Lina soothed, her heart clenching to see her brother in such distress. Hoping to reassure him, as well as quiet him before someone heard them, she said, “I will be with you, Fundevogel. Every step of the way.”

Wiping away his tears, Vogel looked up at his sister, the dearest person to him in the whole world. “You won't leave me alone?”

Lina grasped her brother's hand tightly in her own. “I will never leave you, if you will never leave me.”

“No,” Vogel said earnestly, clinging to her hand with all his might. “Neither now, nor ever will I leave you.”

As soon as the two were dressed, they slipped out of the house. At first, Lina intended to sneak into the kitchen and steal some food for their journey, but when they approached the final corridor, they could hear Old Sanna ordering the cooks about at the top of her lungs, as they prepared for her horrific feast.

So Lina and Vogel slipped out of the house and ran for the forest, taking nothing with them but the clothes on their backs. Until they had reached the shelter of the trees, Lina was sure at each step that she would hear the sounds of pursuit hot on their heels. However, no one seemed to notice them; the servants were all too sleepy and too preoccupied by their unusual orders. Holding tightly to each other's hand, the two children put as much distance between them and their home as they could.

For a time, Old Sanna was none the wiser as to the children's escape. But as the sun rose higher in the sky, she left the other servants to their tasks and made her way up to the nursery again. She thought to fetch Fundevogel and throw him into the boiling cauldron first, for she knew of his power. If he had the slightest inkling of the danger he faced, he might turn into a sparrow and fly away, and then she would lose her prized meal.

To Old Sanna's shock, when she opened the door to the nursery, she found the children's beds empty and cold. Immediately, she called the servants to search the whole estate for them, but even after a thorough search, they could not be found. Enraged, Old Sanna sent the three strongest and swiftest men to find the children's trail and hunt them down.

Lina and Vogel had been walking for hours, but their progress was hampered by the undergrowth in the forest and by Vogel's short legs, which grew more and more weary as time dragged on. Yet neither of them dared to stop and rest, for they knew they had not reached safety yet.

Then came the sound Lina had been dreading most: the tread of men's heavy boots, and the call of voices angered by the inconvenience of fighting through the forest in search of two runaway children. It was only a matter of time before the children would be found and dragged back to their deaths.

“Quickly, Vogel!” Lina cried, as the sound of tromping feet grew closer and closer. “Turn into a bird and fly away while there is still time!”

But Vogel gripped her hand more tightly and stared up at her with a stubborn set to his jaw. “I will never leave you, if you will never leave me.”

Seeing that her brother would not be persuaded otherwise, Lina nodded and said, “Neither now nor ever will I leave you. Now turn into a bush, and we will hide until the men are gone!”

So Vogel turned into a small, leafy bush, and Lina became a rose on the bush. They held still and silent as the servants burst into the clearing, following the sound of the children's voices and their footprints in the soft earth. But instead of two children, they saw only a small, trim rosebush—which looked very out of place in the wildness of the forest, but after all was not the children they had been sent to find.

At last, not knowing what else to do, the servants returned to Old Sanna. “We followed the trail into the forest,” they told her, “but all we found was a bush, with a single rose on it.”

“You fools!” Old Sanna shrieked, seeing at once what the children had done. “You should have plucked the rose and cut down the bush, and brought them back here! Now go after them again, and do not fail me this time!”

Startled by this strange outburst, but knowing they had been ordered to follow all of Old Sanna's directions, the servants returned to the forest and picked up the trail again.

Meanwhile, Lina and Vogel had waited for the servants to leave, then had returned to their original forms and continued on their way. But it was only a matter of hours before their steps flagged once again, and they heard the sounds of pursuit close behind them.

“I will never leave you, if you will never leave me,” Lina said, knowing her brother would not consent to leave her behind.

“Neither now nor ever will I leave you,” Vogel said. “I will turn into a church. They will not be able to take us back then.”

So Vogel turned into a little chapel in a forest clearing, and Lina became a chandelier hanging from its ceiling. He had never transformed into something so large before, but he managed it, down to the smallest detail. When the servants came upon the clearing, thinking to find two children, instead they were met with a small, quaint chapel. They looked all around it and peered through the windows, but they found no one inside. Indeed, it was completely bare except for the beautiful, glittering chandelier. The servants could not find the children's trail leading away from the chapel, so they could do nothing but return home again.

“We followed their trail into the forest,” they told Old Sanna, “but all we found was a church, with a chandelier inside it.”

“Fools, all of you!” Old Sanna roared again. “Why did you not pull down the chandelier, and break the church down stone by stone, and bring it back to me? This time I will go after them myself, for I can see that you are all useless!”

Then she opened wide her mouth, and swallowed the men in one gulp. As she devoured their lives, her back straightened, her shriveled fingers stretched out, and her hair grew long and golden as it had not in decades. Instead of an old, bent woman, she became a young, strong maiden again, with eyes that blazed with a cold flame. The rest of the servants ran from her, screaming in terror, but she paid them no heed. Filled with the strength and vigor of three men, she hastened in pursuit of the children. For she knew that the youth she had derived from the grown men would not last long. She needed the fresh, unlived lives of little children.

Once the men had gone away, Vogel and Lina had returned to their usual forms and continued on their way. At last, they emerged from the forest and set out across the open fields as the sun sank into the hills before them. They were weary enough that they could have lain down on the ground and slept, come what may. But just as they began to think that surely they had lost their pursuers once and for all, they heard the sound of feet running after them. Lina looked over her shoulder, and in the distance, at the edge of the dark forest, she could see a woman of terrible beauty running after them. Though she looked so different, Lina could recognize Old Sanna in an instant.

Holding tightly to her little brother's hand, Lina said, “I will never leave you, if you will never leave me.”

Vogel looked back as well, and though he trembled at the sight of their pursuer, he said staunchly, “Neither now nor ever will I leave you.”

So they ran to a dip in the ground, where they would pass out of Old Sanna's sight for a moment or two. Then Vogel turned into a pond, and Lina became a duck floating in the middle of the pond.

Old Sanna ran up to the pond, but unlike the servants, she was not fooled. She knew that the pond and the duck were none other than the children she had hungered after all this time. At first, she was angry with them, but once she had caught her breath, she began to laugh in triumph. For they had turned themselves into forms that were easy for her to devour. Old Sanna decided to drink the pond, and then she would grab the duck and roast it over a fire.

As Old Sanna knelt at the edge of the pond and put her lips to the water, Lina realized what she intended to do. If Old Sanna drank the water, she would be sucking away Vogel's life. And that was something Lina could not allow. She would not let anyone take Vogel away, for then she would be alone again.

So Lina swam up to the shore, and with her bill she grabbed Old Sanna by her long, golden hair that trailed into the water. With a mighty yank, she pulled Old Sanna into the water, holding fast even as she struggled. Vogel helped as well, stirring the waves on the pond so they crashed over their heads. As a duck, Lina was unharmed, but Old Sanna could not swim, and so she sank to the very bottom of the pond. And there, surrounded by the children she had longed to devour, she died a painful death.

Once they saw that they were safe, Vogel and Lina transformed back into their original forms. And there, in the hollow of the ground where moments before had been a little duck swimming in a pond, lay Old Sanna. No longer was she a young woman of terrible beauty. Now she was little more than a skeleton sheathed in skin, with hair that turned to dust as a fresh breeze blew past. She looked like a corpse that had lain in a tomb for centuries, and they wondered just how old she had truly been. How many lives had she stolen to sustain her own?

Pitying this woman who had been ruled by her own stomach, Lina said to Vogel, “We must bury her.”

So Vogel turned into a strong man, like the lumberjacks or farmers they sometimes saw around the estate, and Lina became a sturdy shovel. Together, they dug a small grave for Old Sanna, laid her in it, and spoke a short prayer before covering her with dirt.

Then, turning back into their ordinary forms, the children began the long trek homeward. They were exhausted, but they longed for nothing more than the safety and warmth of home, and so they walked all through the night.

As the first golden rays of sunlight touched the tops of the trees, Lina and Vogel came within sight of their home. No sooner did they step out from the shadow of the trees did they see their father alighting from his horse at the gate. He saw them at once and ran to meet them, catching them up in his arms and smothering them with kisses.

For once Old Sanna had shown her true colors, one of the remaining servants had come to his senses and rode after his master, telling him all that had happened in his absence. The landowner had immediately turned around and raced back home, fearing the worst. But now the children were able to tell him all they had endured, and reassure him that they would be safe from Old Sanna's wickedness forevermore. Their father wept for the danger he had put them in unknowingly, and assured them that from now on, he would stay close by their side and care for them himself. Never again would they be left alone.

Taking his son and daughter by the hand, the landowner led them back into the house. And they all lived happily ever after.

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

Alright alright- if you haven't seen it, @one-joe-spoopy delivered a full course meal of their spooky penumbra au with a lil desert from @esquemeencanta a beautiful picrew for visuals (KISSES KISSES KISSES, i love it), so of course it is only right I return the favor with my abandoned monster hunter au with both the original and newest version (so it's like a Buy One Get One)

Basic details: I had plans to write a full length fic covering this au in my head, I never got around to it. This was supposed to be a Benten Lives au. Peter was originally a changeling in the first version (not a vampire like I originally claimed, in my defense my memory is shit sometimes). Juno and Ben were both monsters as well, based on the Greek maenad, devotees to Dionysus that drank until drunk and sang and danced up in the mountains. Rita is human (werewolf enthusiast), Vespa is human, Buddy is a solar elf, and Jet I never got around to.

I don't have much details on the origins of this au but from I can scrap together for the first version it seems like Benten and Juno were attending an art gala. Maenad in this world are terribly destructive when drunk and Benten didn't want to be that, so while he loved their Ma and hid her booze, he "loved Juno more and worked double time to hide the booze from him." To round out this full picture of the twins and maenad, "Maenad are hard to love. Benten is easy though."

Changelings are abandoned children of fae. Fae parents swap their child for a human child and the human parent raises the changeling until the changeling returns to the fae world one day, or until the child eats their face off. They have two faces, the face of the human child and their true face. They have sharp pointy teeth and eat flesh. What this implies about Peter’s relationship with Mag and Slip, I can't exactly say. I came up with this version and concept years ago.

The twins were attending an art gala and Juno notices a lady in a long dress. His image is flickering in and out of existence though. I believe this person was meant to be Peter. I had vague plans for the lights to go out, someone to scream, and when they come back on there's been a murder in the gala, an art piece stolen, and it's up to Detective Juno to solve the case with Ben at his side. They end up splitting up and reuniting, Ben did brief interviews, Juno was investigating the gala space. A big chase was to ensue across the event space and end with Juno cornering the person from earlier and watching in horror as their bones crack and their entire form shifts to match his twin. Their image flickers again. Peter finally reveals his true face and makes some snarky remark before escaping out a window into the night. The murdered victim was because Peter needed to eat, the stolen art piece was his heist, and Ben comes to find Juno down the corridor with a teary face as he explains that he just got done with only one interview... meaning Juno was not working with Benten the whole time. He was working with the changeling. He was conned.

In the newest version, Juno and Benten are no longer maenad they're human. Rita, Vespa, Buddy are the same as the original. Jet is a werewolf. And in this version Peter is a vampire (in my notes I refer to him as Vamp 'Reyev). Juno is a monster hunter in this world, no longer just a detective. Rita works still as his second hand. Ben is alive.

It was supposed to follow the same format as the original: art gala, black out, big storm outside, power returns, and people are dead. They're pale and bloodless. Juno was hired for that night to play security, scare monsters out and keep people inside safe. Ben was there as a guest. Rita is back at the office on standby. So when she gets on call she starts working with Juno to puzzle everything together. When they figure out its a monster amongst the human guests ("a monster thief Mistah Steel! A vampire monster thief!") Juno gets excited to start the hunt, but when he remembers Ben is with him he's torn between doing his job and getting out of there while they can together. If Juno leaves the other guests are likely to die. In the end, Juno and Ben stay. They stick close together even as more guests start dropping like flies and their bodies turn up bloodless. Ben never really knew or understood what it was Juno does for a living. Now he's learning too much.

It concludes with a big chase down a long corridor, thunder and lightening outside, the power goes out again, and Juno stops.  A figure illuminated by the moonlight streaming in through the window with their back turned to him. A metallic tang fills the air. Lightning fills the room and Juno catches glowing amber eyes. Dark liquid in streaks dripping down their chin. Juno raises his blaster in the dark. He can't aim. He only has one shot. In the blink of an eye, the figure is gone and suddenly here's someone next to him. He's engulfed in a heady flowery scent and a sharp pain pierces his neck. He cracks his blaster against the side of his assailant's head, but they clamp down harder. Juno is drained and left in the corridor to die. He's going to fall unconscious so before he does he takes the shot. He doesn't know if he hit anything as the world turns dark.

Ben finds him and gets them out of the art gala. Rita has a car come collect them and she meets Ben at a hospital. Juno recovers. He knows what hes going to hunt from now on. Rita and Ben are his anchors but they can only do so much as Juno's hunt leads him to an abandoned lighthouse where all hell breaks loose.

Vamp 'Reyev in this au is hungry and looking for his next meal of the century. He's blended in with society and concealed his identity going by different names for ages. He's evaded monster hunters before in the past but something about this one intrigues him. He's playing with fire. He doesn't care. Nureyev’s eyes have an amber hue to them. He's freakily fast and climbs up walls and ceilings. He's never out of date with the newest fashion trends but his vocabulary gives him away.

Monster-Human society are at odds with one another, they have been for what feels like forever. The humans want all monstered rounded up and eradicated. The monsters want all humans rounded up and eradicated. No one knows who fired the first shots or who's blood was spilt first or why. This is the way things have been. They've escalated so now there's monster hunters like Juno. On the flip side there's also human hunters, monsters that track down monster hunters and get paid to take revenge. Humans don't wander at night out of fear and old wives tales. Monsters don't mingle during the day out of fear and old fairy tales. There are multiple ways to become a monster hunter. Through the Academy, work for hire like Juno, apprenticeship. Sasha went through the Academy and that feeds into Dark Matters. Juno had no prior training beyond his time as a cop, monster hunting pays more so that's why he chose it.

[cloudd-nyne]

Sorry i know i said no more vents but. Just need to rant please ignore/dont reply i don't want anyone to worry themselves over me.

My current issue is that when im resting/laying down/working, i can come up with extremely vivid ideas in my head. Like fully fleshed out word for word fics. But the moment i sit up and go "okay i should write this down," every single thought vanishes into thin air.

Like its just. The most infuriating experience. I know i can write. I did it for YEARS. I felt like I was pretty good at it! And yet now it just refuses to happen the moment i say "yea ill write!" The words run away like a skiddish animal.

Its so infuriating. Especially when i try to convey this issue to people and just repeatedly get told various versions of "have you just tried making yourself do it?"

It makes me feel broken. Like something in me doesn't work right. Why can't I just do it. Why can't I force it. Surely i should be able to, if thats everyones advice.

Even the other adhd peoples advice don't work, so the issue is clearly me.

I've tried to treat it like burnout, but that just ended up with over 2 years of no writing and slowly feeling worse and worse as time goes on.

Like i wish i understood what the problem was. Why does no advice or tactic work. Why is it always a brick wall that i can't push past.

I feel so frustrated all the time and i just end up spending my days sadly staring at a wall or video and hating myself more and more. I desperately miss the stuff that used to bring me so much joy.

Writing was one of my absolute favorite things ever, and now it just feels like anxiety and stress and fear.

I hate it. I hate this. I hate not feeling like me anymore I hate that all i do is work.

I feel like working has become my only purpose in life, and it sucks. I don't want to live like this anymore. This isn't living. This is just. Barely existing.