#original writing by griselda banks

[griseldabanks]

Fundevogel

For my entry in @inklings-challenge's Four Loves Fairy Tale Challenge, I decided to write my version of the obscure Grimm's fairy tale "Fundevogel," which can be found in text and audio here. It's always appealed to me, for reasons I hope will soon become obvious to you! I took some creative liberties with my rewrite, mostly to flesh out the characters and make certain things (hopefully) make a little more sense. Please let me know of any thoughts, questions, or constructive criticism you might have!

Once upon a time, there was a rich landowner whose land was covered with lush forests. He had a loving wife, with whom he lived happily in a beautiful house on a hill overlooking the forest on all sides. Early in their marriage, they were blessed with a lovely daughter they named Lina.

For five years, this little family lived in happiness and prosperity. Lina grew more lovely every day, her hair falling about her shoulders in golden curls, her eyes sparkling like the sun on the merry brook at the foot of the hill. The house was filled with merriment and song, the servants carrying boughs of fragrant leaves and flowers in from the forest to freshen the grand old house. Lina skipped and sang on the emerald-green grass on the hill on fine days, and brought her songs and games indoors when the weather confined them all to the house. Many long, dark winter evenings were brightened by Lina's laughter mingling with that of her parents as they played and sang before the fire.

But on the darkest night of Lina's fifth year, her mother took ill and was confined to her bed. The illness moved swiftly, so that the landowner had barely begun to worry for his wife's safety before she was taken away. The servants whispered that this sickness was unnatural—after all, no one else had fallen ill. A curse, they said, though none could say who would have dared to curse their kind mistress, nor why.

Overnight, Lina's sunny, golden world was overshadowed by grief and darkness. Bowed down with grief and a thousand unanswerable questions, her father no longer tossed her up in the air with a laugh or carried her about on his shoulders as he strode through the forest. Moreover, he no longer let her run carefree about the hilltop or at the edge of the forest, not even during the height of summer. He was terrified of losing the only treasure remaining to him that he cared about, so he kept Lina closeted away in the big old house. By his orders, the house was shut up and kept silent. No more songs echoed through the halls. No more flowers were brought from the forest to freshen the rooms.

As time passed, Lina's father emerged from the darkness swamping him long enough to see that Lina needed more care than he in his grief-stricken state could give. At that time, one of his servants approached him. Old Sanna was a fat old crone who had worked in the kitchens since the landowner himself had been a boy. He remembered her scolding him coldly when he would sneak down to the kitchens as a child to sample a pie before dinner.

“My Lord,” Old Sanna said, wringing her hands with a gap-toothed smile, “if it please you, I would be happy to act as Lina's nurse. I will see to it that no harm comes to the lovely child's head.”

With relief, the landowner swiftly agreed to this arrangement. He put Lina under Old Sanna's care, then threw himself into his work as a balm for his grief. He would stop in once a day to see that all was well with Lina, but besides that, Lina rarely saw her father anymore.

As for Old Sanna, Lina at first thought the old woman was kind, as all the other servants were. The old woman preened and petted her, running a gnarled finger down Lina's smooth cheek and admiring her youthful beauty with many words of praise. This treatment was a far cry from the love her mother had always lavished upon her, but Lina craved even the tiniest crumb of esteem, now that her days had grown so cold and empty.

However, as Lina grew, she slowly became aware of a hungry light that would gleam in Old Sanna's eyes when she spoke these words of praise. Sometimes, when she would brush out Lina's soft curls, her gnarled fingers would tangle almost painfully in them, as if she secretly longed to yank Lina's hair straight off her head. Sometimes, Old Sanna would sigh as she helped Lina into her pretty little dresses, “Ah, once I was young and beautiful as well! To have a body as young and strong as yours....”

Lina also began to hear the occasional whisper from the other servants, when they thought no one could hear. They said there had been nothing natural about her mother's death—it had been too quick for someone as young and strong as her, and those who had helped prepare the body for burial said she looked as though she had aged several decades overnight, as though someone had stolen her youth away.

Though she could not quite explain it to herself at such a young age, Lina discovered that she did not like Old Sanna at all. Lina's needs were met, but there were no games with Old Sanna, no songs, no laughter. Lina had no playmates, and Old Sanna wouldn't even let her play by herself if it disturbed the old woman's rest in front of the fire. She was to sit and spin, or embroider, or work on her letters. But when she did, she would often look up and find Old Sanna watching her with that hungry look in her eyes, as if she longed to gobble Lina up.

It was at this time that Lina's father went on an inspection of his property, and his path led through the forest. When the edge of the forest had left his sight, he heard the sound of a baby's cry high above him. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that, sure enough, a baby lay in an eagle's nest high above him. It seemed that an eagle had swooped down and snatched up the baby from where it had been lying in the open, and brought it back to its nest.

Taking great care not to shake the tree and dislodge the child, the landowner climbed the tree and brought the baby down to safety. The child was a boy, not more than a year old, with dark eyes and a tuft of hair as brown as a sparrow's wing. He seemed strong and healthy, though hungry and frightened, and the landowner's heart went out to him. He carried the child back to his house, sending servants into the surrounding countryside to discover whose child this was, and saw to it that the child was fed and washed.

When a thorough search had been made and none claimed the child, the landowner decided to raise the boy as his own son. He could not bear to leave such a small, helpless child to fend for himself in the great, wide world—and besides, he thought perhaps the boy would be a good playmate for Lina. So he made it known that the boy was now his son, and he named him Fundevogel, or bird-foundling.

As for Lina, she was overjoyed to have a little brother to love and care for. At last, her cold solitude was brought to an end. She called her brother Vogel for short, saying that he was her little sparrow that her mother had sent from heaven so that she would have someone to play with. And from the first time Vogel looked up at Lina as she held him in her arms, he smiled with a look that would have melted a heart of ice.

Lina and Vogel could not have looked more different from one another. When Vogel began to walk, it became common to see Lina holding his little hand as he toddled along the dark corridors, her golden curls seeming to shine in the candlelight while Vogel's dark hair seemed to blend into the shadows. Nothing in their appearance would have suggested they were brother and sister, but it was not long before they were inseparable. Any time Vogel was taken away from Lina, he would begin to cry, and Lina would grow sad when she had to leave him, even for a short time.

“Mother left me,” Lina said sadly to Vogel as she rocked him to sleep at night, “and Father is rarely here. So I will never leave you, little brother, if you will never leave me.”

Old Sanna still had the care of the two children, for though the landowner had taken Vogel in, he had much work to do and little time to care for two small children. At first, Old Sanna seemed resentful that she was now responsible for another charge, and left much of the work of caring for Vogel to Lina. Though at first it was difficult, for Lina knew nothing of caring for babies and was only a small child herself, she was more than happy to look after her little brother. Besides, Vogel would laugh and babble and sing, and was a much better companion than grumpy Old Sanna sitting before the fire.

As the years passed and Vogel grew into a fine, strong boy, Lina began to notice the way Old Sanna would look at him when she thought no one was looking. She had grown used to the hungry light in Old Sanna's eyes when she looked at Lina, but the hunger seemed even more ravenous when she looked upon little Vogel. Lina was not sure what to make of this, but she was even more careful to remain by Vogel's side at all times.

One night, Lina woke when she heard someone shuffling around the nursery. Peering carefully over her blankets so that she would seem to still be asleep, Lina saw Old Sanna standing hunched over by the fireplace. By the dim light of the dying embers, she could see that Old Sanna clutched the hairbrush with which she brushed Lina's golden curls every day. Old Sanna pulled out a single golden hair from the brush, lifted it to her lips, and ate it.

With a flash of light, Old Sanna suddenly straightened her old, bent back. Lina could not be quite sure in the uncertain light, but it seemed to her that Old Sanna had become transformed into a young woman, smooth-cheeked and beautiful, moving with the ease of youth.

When the morning came, however, Lina looked at Old Sanna and saw that she was the same old crone she had always been. At first she thought she must have simply dreamed that the old woman had become young, but that night she feigned sleep until she heard Old Sanna moving about the room again. Just as she had done the night before, Lina watched Old Sanna eat a single hair from Lina's hairbrush, and was transformed into a young woman once more. Night after night, the old woman would go through the same ritual, as though the only thing sustaining her life was devouring Lina's hair.

Lina told no one of what she had seen, for who would believe her? And if Old Sanna knew of her suspicions, what would she do? So Lina remained silent, but became even more protective of her little brother. She grew more and more suspicious of the way Old Sanna looked at him. If she merely ate the hairs that fell from their heads, that would not be a problem. But Lina feared that eventually even this would not be enough for Old Sanna.

As much as possible, Lina tried to keep Vogel away from Old Sanna. They spent many long hours together in the extensive gardens around her father's house, and occasionally ventured into the forest—but never out of sight of the great house. The many hours they played together not only kept them out of the old nurse's hungry grasp, but also strengthened the bond between brother and sister.

In the years following the discovery of Fundevogel in the branches of the tree, Lina began to realize that he was far from ordinary. When he was overcome with great emotion, he would often transform into a bird, or a toy he had been playing with, or some other object he was familiar with. The first time he turned into a little sparrow while crying at the top of his lungs, Lina was filled with terror that he would be forever trapped in that form. However, once he had flown about the room several times, twittering loudly, he settled on Lina's pillow and became a little boy again in the blink of an eye.

Lina went to great lengths to keep her brother's strange ability from being discovered. She feared that, if anyone knew what Vogel could do, they would think he was a fairy-child or an evil spirit, and they would send him back into the forest where he had been found. Unable to bear the thought of being separated, Lina told Vogel sternly that he was not to talk about his gift or transform into anything unless they were alone. Vogel loved Lina more than anyone in the whole world, so he always strove to follow what she said.

As Vogel grew, he gradually became better able to control his powers. When they were alone in the forest together, he would beg Lina to let him turn into a bird or a squirrel or a fox. One such time, when he turned into a tree to stop her from pulling him to his feet to go back home, Lina transformed with him. Vogel became a tall oak tree, and Lina became a vine that twisted around his trunk. Vogel was so surprised that he immediately changed them back into their original forms.

“I'm sorry!” Vogel cried, tears filling his eyes as he stared imploringly up at Lina. “I didn't mean to! Did it...hurt?”

“No...” Lina said slowly, staring down at her hands that had been pale green leaves moments before. “But it felt...strange....”

An overwhelming curiosity overcame Lina. Taking Vogel's little hand in hers, she said, “Try turning into something else. Maybe...a cow?”

With an overjoyed laugh that Lina wanted to play with him, Vogel turned into a cow just like the ones that produced the milk they drank every morning. Lina held tight to his hand, and she became a silver bell hanging from his neck. She laughed out of pure joy, and the bell tinkled merrily.

After this discovery, Lina and Vogel would often transform as part of their games. Lina could only transform if she were touching Vogel when he used his power, but that was of no matter. They were always together.

As birds and beasts, the brother and sister roamed the nearby countryside, discovering the beauties and small wonders of the world around them. No longer were they confined to the cold, drab halls of their gloomy house. Even in the winter, if they had a spare moment to themselves, they could turn into mice and explore inside the walls, or become wolves and race across the icy hills in the moonlight. Once or twice, Lina was sure that Old Sanna had seen them transform, but the old woman never spoke a word about it. Lina thought that as long as they were careful, perhaps they would still be safe.

But then came the day that their father left on a trip to a town several days' journey away. Though he kept himself busy, and Lina and Vogel saw little of him on any given day, his presence was constantly felt in the huge old house, and he returned at the end of every long day. This time, however, he would be gone for a score of days, long enough that he took a number of servants with him. Old Sanna was to be left in charge of the household while he was gone, for she had lived there all her long life and knew what was to be done. At the ages of ten and five, Lina and Vogel did not need her constant care; they had been taking care of each other for the most part already.

Thinking he was leaving his children in good hands, their father left to conduct his business. As soon as the sound of jingling harness had faded into the distance, Old Sanna turned upon the children with a hungry light in her eyes brighter than ever before, and Lina felt her heart sink to her toes. She could see now that the only thing holding the old woman back had been her fear of the consequences should harm come to the children while their father was near.

But Old Sanna did nothing that night. As she pondered it in later years, Lina suspected that the old woman was merely waiting until she could be sure that her master was far enough away that he could not be swiftly fetched back home. So the children went to bed unharmed, but Lina did not close her eyes all night.

It was in the early hours of the morning that Lina heard some of the remaining manservants grumbling in the courtyard. Creeping to the window, Lina cracked it open and listened to them wondering aloud why Old Sanna had ordered them to gather enough wood to make a bonfire, and so early in the morning.

“She said she was ravenously hungry,” one of the servants said with a yawn.

“Oh, is that why she had us haul out that old cauldron?” the other servant replied. “I wonder what she intends to cook in it.”

“Whatever it is,” the first servant grumbled, “I certainly hope she sees fit to share it with the rest of us. There ought to be enough to go around—one could boil a grown man alive in that thing!”

Upon hearing this, Lina's very blood turned to ice in her veins. She knew that Old Sanna would not be boiling a grown man in the cauldron, but two children. Clearly, she would no longer be satisfied with a few hairs from their heads.

Swiftly, Lina dressed herself and went to shake her little brother awake. “Make haste!” she urged him as he blinked sleepily up at her. “We must run away—now, at once! Old Sanna means to boil us alive and eat us!”

Vogel began to cry. “But I don't want to be eaten!” he wailed.

“Hush, now,” Lina soothed, her heart clenching to see her brother in such distress. Hoping to reassure him, as well as quiet him before someone heard them, she said, “I will be with you, Fundevogel. Every step of the way.”

Wiping away his tears, Vogel looked up at his sister, the dearest person to him in the whole world. “You won't leave me alone?”

Lina grasped her brother's hand tightly in her own. “I will never leave you, if you will never leave me.”

“No,” Vogel said earnestly, clinging to her hand with all his might. “Neither now, nor ever will I leave you.”

As soon as the two were dressed, they slipped out of the house. At first, Lina intended to sneak into the kitchen and steal some food for their journey, but when they approached the final corridor, they could hear Old Sanna ordering the cooks about at the top of her lungs, as they prepared for her horrific feast.

So Lina and Vogel slipped out of the house and ran for the forest, taking nothing with them but the clothes on their backs. Until they had reached the shelter of the trees, Lina was sure at each step that she would hear the sounds of pursuit hot on their heels. However, no one seemed to notice them; the servants were all too sleepy and too preoccupied by their unusual orders. Holding tightly to each other's hand, the two children put as much distance between them and their home as they could.

For a time, Old Sanna was none the wiser as to the children's escape. But as the sun rose higher in the sky, she left the other servants to their tasks and made her way up to the nursery again. She thought to fetch Fundevogel and throw him into the boiling cauldron first, for she knew of his power. If he had the slightest inkling of the danger he faced, he might turn into a sparrow and fly away, and then she would lose her prized meal.

To Old Sanna's shock, when she opened the door to the nursery, she found the children's beds empty and cold. Immediately, she called the servants to search the whole estate for them, but even after a thorough search, they could not be found. Enraged, Old Sanna sent the three strongest and swiftest men to find the children's trail and hunt them down.

Lina and Vogel had been walking for hours, but their progress was hampered by the undergrowth in the forest and by Vogel's short legs, which grew more and more weary as time dragged on. Yet neither of them dared to stop and rest, for they knew they had not reached safety yet.

Then came the sound Lina had been dreading most: the tread of men's heavy boots, and the call of voices angered by the inconvenience of fighting through the forest in search of two runaway children. It was only a matter of time before the children would be found and dragged back to their deaths.

“Quickly, Vogel!” Lina cried, as the sound of tromping feet grew closer and closer. “Turn into a bird and fly away while there is still time!”

But Vogel gripped her hand more tightly and stared up at her with a stubborn set to his jaw. “I will never leave you, if you will never leave me.”

Seeing that her brother would not be persuaded otherwise, Lina nodded and said, “Neither now nor ever will I leave you. Now turn into a bush, and we will hide until the men are gone!”

So Vogel turned into a small, leafy bush, and Lina became a rose on the bush. They held still and silent as the servants burst into the clearing, following the sound of the children's voices and their footprints in the soft earth. But instead of two children, they saw only a small, trim rosebush—which looked very out of place in the wildness of the forest, but after all was not the children they had been sent to find.

At last, not knowing what else to do, the servants returned to Old Sanna. “We followed the trail into the forest,” they told her, “but all we found was a bush, with a single rose on it.”

“You fools!” Old Sanna shrieked, seeing at once what the children had done. “You should have plucked the rose and cut down the bush, and brought them back here! Now go after them again, and do not fail me this time!”

Startled by this strange outburst, but knowing they had been ordered to follow all of Old Sanna's directions, the servants returned to the forest and picked up the trail again.

Meanwhile, Lina and Vogel had waited for the servants to leave, then had returned to their original forms and continued on their way. But it was only a matter of hours before their steps flagged once again, and they heard the sounds of pursuit close behind them.

“I will never leave you, if you will never leave me,” Lina said, knowing her brother would not consent to leave her behind.

“Neither now nor ever will I leave you,” Vogel said. “I will turn into a church. They will not be able to take us back then.”

So Vogel turned into a little chapel in a forest clearing, and Lina became a chandelier hanging from its ceiling. He had never transformed into something so large before, but he managed it, down to the smallest detail. When the servants came upon the clearing, thinking to find two children, instead they were met with a small, quaint chapel. They looked all around it and peered through the windows, but they found no one inside. Indeed, it was completely bare except for the beautiful, glittering chandelier. The servants could not find the children's trail leading away from the chapel, so they could do nothing but return home again.

“We followed their trail into the forest,” they told Old Sanna, “but all we found was a church, with a chandelier inside it.”

“Fools, all of you!” Old Sanna roared again. “Why did you not pull down the chandelier, and break the church down stone by stone, and bring it back to me? This time I will go after them myself, for I can see that you are all useless!”

Then she opened wide her mouth, and swallowed the men in one gulp. As she devoured their lives, her back straightened, her shriveled fingers stretched out, and her hair grew long and golden as it had not in decades. Instead of an old, bent woman, she became a young, strong maiden again, with eyes that blazed with a cold flame. The rest of the servants ran from her, screaming in terror, but she paid them no heed. Filled with the strength and vigor of three men, she hastened in pursuit of the children. For she knew that the youth she had derived from the grown men would not last long. She needed the fresh, unlived lives of little children.

Once the men had gone away, Vogel and Lina had returned to their usual forms and continued on their way. At last, they emerged from the forest and set out across the open fields as the sun sank into the hills before them. They were weary enough that they could have lain down on the ground and slept, come what may. But just as they began to think that surely they had lost their pursuers once and for all, they heard the sound of feet running after them. Lina looked over her shoulder, and in the distance, at the edge of the dark forest, she could see a woman of terrible beauty running after them. Though she looked so different, Lina could recognize Old Sanna in an instant.

Holding tightly to her little brother's hand, Lina said, “I will never leave you, if you will never leave me.”

Vogel looked back as well, and though he trembled at the sight of their pursuer, he said staunchly, “Neither now nor ever will I leave you.”

So they ran to a dip in the ground, where they would pass out of Old Sanna's sight for a moment or two. Then Vogel turned into a pond, and Lina became a duck floating in the middle of the pond.

Old Sanna ran up to the pond, but unlike the servants, she was not fooled. She knew that the pond and the duck were none other than the children she had hungered after all this time. At first, she was angry with them, but once she had caught her breath, she began to laugh in triumph. For they had turned themselves into forms that were easy for her to devour. Old Sanna decided to drink the pond, and then she would grab the duck and roast it over a fire.

As Old Sanna knelt at the edge of the pond and put her lips to the water, Lina realized what she intended to do. If Old Sanna drank the water, she would be sucking away Vogel's life. And that was something Lina could not allow. She would not let anyone take Vogel away, for then she would be alone again.

So Lina swam up to the shore, and with her bill she grabbed Old Sanna by her long, golden hair that trailed into the water. With a mighty yank, she pulled Old Sanna into the water, holding fast even as she struggled. Vogel helped as well, stirring the waves on the pond so they crashed over their heads. As a duck, Lina was unharmed, but Old Sanna could not swim, and so she sank to the very bottom of the pond. And there, surrounded by the children she had longed to devour, she died a painful death.

Once they saw that they were safe, Vogel and Lina transformed back into their original forms. And there, in the hollow of the ground where moments before had been a little duck swimming in a pond, lay Old Sanna. No longer was she a young woman of terrible beauty. Now she was little more than a skeleton sheathed in skin, with hair that turned to dust as a fresh breeze blew past. She looked like a corpse that had lain in a tomb for centuries, and they wondered just how old she had truly been. How many lives had she stolen to sustain her own?

Pitying this woman who had been ruled by her own stomach, Lina said to Vogel, “We must bury her.”

So Vogel turned into a strong man, like the lumberjacks or farmers they sometimes saw around the estate, and Lina became a sturdy shovel. Together, they dug a small grave for Old Sanna, laid her in it, and spoke a short prayer before covering her with dirt.

Then, turning back into their ordinary forms, the children began the long trek homeward. They were exhausted, but they longed for nothing more than the safety and warmth of home, and so they walked all through the night.

As the first golden rays of sunlight touched the tops of the trees, Lina and Vogel came within sight of their home. No sooner did they step out from the shadow of the trees did they see their father alighting from his horse at the gate. He saw them at once and ran to meet them, catching them up in his arms and smothering them with kisses.

For once Old Sanna had shown her true colors, one of the remaining servants had come to his senses and rode after his master, telling him all that had happened in his absence. The landowner had immediately turned around and raced back home, fearing the worst. But now the children were able to tell him all they had endured, and reassure him that they would be safe from Old Sanna's wickedness forevermore. Their father wept for the danger he had put them in unknowingly, and assured them that from now on, he would stay close by their side and care for them himself. Never again would they be left alone.

Taking his son and daughter by the hand, the landowner led them back into the house. And they all lived happily ever after.

[novelmonger]

Your name: novelmonger or Griselda Banks (or any nickname you can make from either of those names)

Your first fandom(s): Star Wars (wait, hang on, I guess I was introduced to Narnia a couple years before Star Wars, but Star Wars was the first story I went feral over)

Your current fandom(s): The ones I will always love with every fiber of my being and not grow tired of talking about are Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Full Metal Alchemist, and Captain America. Secondary fandoms that will always hold a special corner of my heart all their own would be Harry Potter, Death Note, Sherlock, and Supernatural.

How did you first get into fandom? I'm going to interpret this question as "how did you first start interacting with other fans outside of your immediate family?" And that was actually through Neopets, of all things XD My brother and I were into Neopets around the time I'd discovered LotR, and so when he showed me what the forums were and how they worked, I started talking on there about LotR and got into forum roleplaying a bit, using LotR as the inspiration for the characters I'd create. I struck up some friendships, branched out to some other forum sites, discovered fanfiction at some point, and the rest was history.

How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces? I think I got started on Neopets when I was 11. I remember I had to get my dad to set up an email for me and fill out a permission form because I wasn't 13 yet XD

How often do you read fanfics? Much less often than I used to, that's for sure. I feel like I've gotten a lot more wary of fanfiction these days, and a lot more impatient with bad writing. Lately I've been reading a lot more actual books, which I don't think is a bad thing. But my fic to-read list is reaching scary lengths by now, so I should really try to whittle that down before some of them start disappearing or something....

Top three characters from your current fandom(s): Steve & Bucky (MCU), Ed & Al (FMA), Frodo & Sam (LotR). Yes, they're all bromance pairs. Just you try and stop me!

Have you ever written fic for a fandom? Oh, have I ever. I think the current count is over 150.

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Alas, I can barely even draw stick figures, so no :(

Share a (some) personal headcanon(s) you feel very strongly about: Steve did not go back in time at the end of Endgame; he told an alternate version of himself in a different timeline that Bucky was still alive and he should tell Peggy his coordinates when he took the plane down, so that version of Steve can keep Bucky from becoming the Winter Soldier and they go back to the U.S. and he marries Peggy. The original Steve goes back to his original timeline, still a young man, and he retires, marries Sharon, and settles down to enjoy life with his family and friends and help people in more mundane ways, while Sam becomes Captain America and Bucky gives him a hand from time to time.

You're trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. What episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? For Star Wars, I'd show them the Duel of the Fates fight. For LotR...hmm, I've never actually had to convince anyone the LotR is cool, but I'd probably just show them the prologue of the FotR movie. For FMA, I'd show them the first episode of the first anime, because if that didn't hook them, there'd be no hope for them and we probably couldn't be friends :P For Captain America, if I could I think I'd show them that whole sequence from when he gets the supersoldier serum (including both before and after so you can see the change), and then the chase after the Hydra agent. Oooh, or maybe the opening scene from TWS, with the Lemurian Star mission.

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? It means connection. No longer am I just sitting by myself, enjoying a story on my own. I get to talk to people, share our opinions, and in many cases, make friends. Being involved in a fandom means I'm not alone. Which I guess is why, whenever I go to a convention or other fandom-dedicated space, I feel like I've come home even though almost everyone is a complete stranger.

Tagging @sailforvalinor and @captaingondor

@ladyknightskye tagged me.

Your name: Around here I go by AuthorToBeNamedLater or ATBNL.

Your first fandom(s): In terms of interest, Star Trek TNG. In terms of fandom engagement, seaQuest DSV.

Your current fandom(s): I measure “current fandom” in terms of “currently writing fic,” so Halo and The Mandalorian. Fandoms I love and post about here in rotation: Star Trek, Star Wars, MCU, Babylon 5, NCIS.

How did you first get into fandom? I honestly don’t remember a time when I wasn’t “into fandom” in some way? I suppose I really jumped in when I found FFN.

How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces?: Before you were born 😂 I found FFN very shortly after its launch in 1998.

How often do you read fanfics?: More often than I should LOL.

Top three characters from your current fandom(s): Is this three from each fandom or three altogether? I’ll go with the latter.

Cortana + John, Roland + Lasky (AIs and their humans are a package deal in my world), Kai.

Mando, Bo-Katan, Cara Dune because Cara is still in my Mandalore’s Reluctant Royals AU and if I ever get past the mental block of losing all my WIPs, she has a very important role to play.

Have you ever written fic for a fandom?: Only close to 100 between my FFN and AO3. Not counting the little snippets and micro fics I’ve shared only on Tumblr.

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom?: Aside from the Shadow vessel sponge painting I did in eighth grade art class, no. I’d like to change that though, because some of my off the wall AUs could do with visual content.

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: Captain Shaw is married with kids and is a Chicago deep-dish pizza snob.

Tim McGee had an FFN account and probably has an AO3.

Thel ‘Vadam mixes up his English idioms Ziva David-style.

You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them?: I am not showing ANYONE Halo, unless you come to me saying you want to watch it. And then I’m going to give you a bunch of caveats about how I’m obsessed with it but it’s really not that great except for when it is and you shouldn’t take it too seriously. Buckle up and grab your adult beverage of choice.

For game-verse Halo I’d show Johnson’s speech about the tank in Halo 2 because that’s what Mr showed me to rope me in.

Mandalorian, the first episode.

Babylon 5, I would start with the pilot movie if I could find it and then not let up until you’d watched five seasons of emotional roller coaster. I’d tell you what JMS said in the commentaries for Shattered Dreams and Sleeping in Light and Deconstruction of Falling Stars and how many of the actors died too young. After War Without End I would show you the video where JMS drops the bomb about why Michael O’Hare left the show. By the end of it you’d love the show but you might not love me anymore. 🤣

And finally, what does fandom mean to you?: A place where I can explore the highs and lows of the human experience in a safe environment. Sometimes I can put a little broken piece of myself into a fanfic or headcanon and not feel so broken anymore. I can “talk” about things in fiction that I can’t in real life.

A place where I can meet cool people whose paths I never would have crossed had we not been abnormal about a certain show or character. ❤️

Tagging all who see this!

[dustedmagazine]

Conway the Machine — God Don't Make Mistakes (Shady)

With his debut album on Shady Records, Conway the Machine shows that he remains a gifted lyricist and a good storyteller, yet hardly offers anything original.

Among ex-members of the Griselda roster, Conway is by far the strongest of the bunch (an easy pick as Benny and Westside Gunn never wrote good music). Everything matched for success: his gruff vocals, tough personality, menacing beats, lucid images of the mean streets. Since Everybody is F.O.O.D (2018), Conway has cemented his position as one of the most original voices of boom-bap. It was not all talk, though: in 2012 he was shot in the neck and shoulder. Life gave him material, and he’s used it over the years. Still, even life-changing events can only supply an artist with something to write about for so long. The stagnation started in 2020 with From King to a God, and God Don't Make Mistakes continues the recycling of old motifs and bars. We get a glimpse of the old Conway only on “John Woo Flick”, produced by Daringer, who also produced a few more tracks here and remains one of the best producers in the game right now. Conway goes hard with the gun talk here and “Lock Loud,” the first track on the tape.

But we’ve already heard all that, only better and tighter. The key to God Don't Make Mistakes is the track “So Much More” which helps explain the CD’s disappointing lack of novelty. There, the Buffalo MC says: “I wrotе some of the illest vеrses ever and shifted the culture.” The past tense is telling: yes, when he first came on the scene he sounded fresh and energized, but lately on his recent tapes, Conway was just rehearsing his old ideas, musings and struggles. He shifts into a reminiscing mode on God Don't Make Mistakes and moves his battles from the streets to the contracts and bank accounts. Unlike street fights, financial feuds don’t make for good music. Conway is angry at labels (“Modern-day slaves, them crackers own all the masters”), promoters, authorities and COVID restrictions. We feel for him, yet it still feels like whining from so hard-nosed street rapper.

The tape concludes sadly in the song “So Much More” where the artist says: “Don't confuse me as just another rapper, I'm so much more.” Yet this is what he truly is, just another rapper.

Ray Garraty