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mechazushi · 3 months ago

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Meet Mizu Ashiro. Also Known as Kaiju n. 24

(I am aware this is the BLURRIEST f*cking shot of my art, but I don't have access to technology where I can scan my art directly into my laptop that I work out of.)

See kids, this is what happens when a writer tried to branch out from their norm and try something they're not good at. You get shitty proportions, half the art is off the page, and your art style looks like a pre-middle schooler's attempt at a f*ckin' Mary Sue lookin' *ss OC. The worst part about this is I was also planning on drawing out her boyfriend as well, only to re-realize my drawing skills are sh*t and go back to waiting for izfaish to finish the Kn8 Pic crew that I'm assuming is still being worked on (which is FINE. That sh*t takes forever because you have to be meticulous with it due to compound layers and uploading it all. I'm sure it's a headache.)

I was even going to draw out a meme! Only having to sacrifice the space for it for the side profile. Doesn't matter. Back to having my artist skills hibernate until I can't take it anymore.

Anyway, onto the loooooorrrreeee!

So the universe where I picture this happening is the same one where I headcanon Mina being ace-sexual. (I don't apply this to ALL my Kn8 universe headcanons, just the ones that have Mizu in them.) Mina and Kafka reunite, all the Kn9 sh*t goes down, things settle out and something happens that makes Mina consider dating Kafka. She's not really sure it will work due to her sexuality, but Kafka manages to talk it out with her and he's fine with it. They date for a couple months, have one hot and heavy drunken night out, only for Kafka to die about a week later by stray rebar on a mission while saving people.

No, I don't hate the guy, he's actually my favorite. I don't know why I wanted him dead in this AU, it just happened. I am well aware that due to Kafka's Main Character Energy, this is something he should be surviving from, but I like the morbid irony that comes with him living through all those previous moments, only to die by something mundane as Random Debris. And, I mean, I didn't completely disrespect his death, he died doing what he loved which was saving people!

So Mina catches on pretty quickly that she's pregnant and voices the concern with Hoshina (Who I also see as ace-sexual in this world.) They talk it out a lot, both of them listing pros and cons of having this baby, and eventually Mina decides to check out a support group for Widowed Wives and talks it out some more with them. She comes to the conclusion that she's going to raise the thing, but will make a serious attempt NOT to raise it to think that there is pressure to be something great and that it needs to follow in it's father's footsteps due to said father being a hero. In fact, Mina hardly ever talks about Kafka. If she does, she only mentions that they were friends, some stories she remembered that he told her about his time in the monster sweepers, and very rarely, talks about the two of them working in the Defense Force. Never once mentions that he was a Kaiju due to not wanting to cause her daughter to think that she was also a monster and hate herself and also, to be honest, no one had any idea what was going to happen to the kid biologically in a few years.

Mina keeps the pregnancy on the down low for as long as possible until delivery. The entire Third Division shows up for the delivery and congratulates her on the new daughter. There, she reveals who the father is and makes everyone depressed for a moment. They all agree to help her out any way they can, with Hoshina personally stating that he'll act as the Main Father Figure in Mizu's life.

So Mizu gets community raised by the Third Division for a few years and it's great, now calling and considering all of the division to be her Aunts and Uncles. She grows up with an unspecified heart condition that makes her heart beat really weird and causes her to lose her breath a lot and is prone to fainting spells (this is due to her developing her own kaiju core). She goes to school and it kinda goes downhill for a moment due to the other students bullying her because she (unfortunately) developed her father's heavy weight stature. It's not all doom and gloom as she makes a friend in the school's Manga Drawing club.

{Cliche tragic backstory ahead, Final Warning}

Fast forward to late middle school (around 14 to 15) and her class is on a field trip to the local museum to check out the new exhibit that showcases the life and achievements of Kaiju Number Eight, Japan's Hero. Her friend called out sick that day, so now she's left to defend herself from the wolves, i.e her bullies. Cut to the front of the museum and an incident happens. Mizu gets tired of somebody's bullsh*t and yells at him to stop.... only to trigger her first Sonic Screech near point blank at someone's face. (Don't worry, the kid lived. She's not that powerful yet.) This however sets off the Kaiju alert system and her class runs to the nearest bunker. She gets kinda lost in the confusion for a moment, making her behind everyone else. Once she makes it to the bunker's entrance, the teacher of the class, who saw the whole thing, panics and closes the door in front of Mizu, leaving her there out in the open. Mizu is left standing there and cries in front of the Kaiju Number Eight statue as she hears choppers out in the distance. The Third Division shows up along with her mother and everyone is wondering why the hell Mizu isn't in the bunker and where the hell is the Kaiju? Through her tears, Mizu explains what happened and tries to apologize for it, only to be comforted by her mother and the rest of the division. They do however gain suspicions and MacGyver up a test. They slide on an arm of a defense force suit and have it connect up to a screen. When it reads back 0% aptitude, it confirms that Mizu is now a Kaiju like her father.

Having not told her about this because she thought she wouldn't have to, Mina decides to break it to her daughter gently that she's a Kaiju like her father by using the new exhibition. Mina, Mizu, and Hoshina get the whole museum to themselves since Mina commanded that her daughter's class stays in the bunker for a extra three hours. Ya know... for safety. There, the two of them break it to her gently about who her father was and what she might be now. Mizu doesn't take it well at first, but thanks to healthy communicating, she's not that angry about it afterwards.

This, however does bring up a problem with the higher ups. They say that Mizu can't be with regular students anymore due to being an untrained threat to the public. Mina somewhat agrees but wants to let Mizu keep as much of a normal childhood as she can before sh*t totally hits the fan that is her new life in a few years. The Higher Ups are trying to strong arm Mina into having her daughter register as an officer of the Defense Force so that they can keep an eye on her. Mina discusses it with Mizu and they come up with a plan. Mizu home-schools the rest of Middle School at the Division and goes on to Neutralization High School to finish out her degree. Mina gives her the speech about how she doesn't have to fill in her father's boots or think that she has to be someone important to the defense force because she's a Kaiju. Mina says that she can convince them to let Mizu out of service once she can demonstrate that she has control over her abilities.

Something happens (I haven't figured out what exactly) and Mizu decides to stay in the Defense Force. After a while, she's offered a special place on a new team. It's called (for the moment until I can come up with a good acronym for it) The International Division. Basically, Japan has decided to come up with an elite task force made out of other counties's misfits and gather them together for the explicit mission of taking out Kaiju invasions with unusual circumstances or unusual Daikaiju cases around the globe for countries that don't have the man power or are in desperate need of over-powered back-up.

On the team is:

A Swedish tactician/medic(in theory)/and mechanic that's anaphylactically allergic to Kaiju material (and because of this) is also severely hemophobic. (42% aptitude)

A blind, Turkish Bomb expert with a special weapon / visor that helps her see and who's Code name is Pile Driver. (67%)

A German Mech suit driver (Who may or may not be a paraplegic from the waist down, I'm not set on the idea just yet) who's suit looks like a mixture of the Berserk armor and the Day Armor from the Castlevania Anime on Netflix. He also wields a claymore. (87%)

And an Australian man, born from a Texan Mother and a Floridian Father, who mains a trench sweeper shot gun (Look it up, its concept is terrifying) that can transform into an anti-tank rifle. His problem is that he's unruly, bloodthirsty, and possibly borderline insane. (72% as a sniper) AND THIS MAN GETS TO BE MIZU'S BOYFRIEND!

(Don't worry, he chill and has a thing for cats. He's just got ADHD.)

So yeah... that's her story... here's a quick breakdown of her design because I know ya'll can't see that shit.

So I initially had a problem with coming up with her Kaiju design. Her whole thing is that she's the daughter of Kafka so her design should still look a little like Kn8 but with some more female connotations, right? How the f*ck does one do that? And it gets harder because all the kaijus in Kn8 either look completely alien or like a monster version of Unrealistic Peak Male Form. (I feel like there could be a really funny meta commentary about this, but I'm not going to get into that right now.)

Eventually, my brain came up with the thought of-

"What if we came up with some bullsh*t Kaiju science and said that because Bakko is a tiger AND a Kaiju, we say that there was some weird exposure/interference that changed some things for Mizu while in vitro."

So now I'm coming up with a tiger-like design for her (you probably can't tell, but to me the head looks more wolf-like than tiger but that's because my artist skills are sh*t) And for the most part, she just looked like an inverse-colored version of Bakko with a mane. At some point while drawing this out, I started to hate it because, like I said in a previous post, she just looked like a furry with a Kn8 style mask. Which led me to come up with some samurai like inspirations for her armor like what Kafka has on the lower half of his body. So yeah, now she has Shoulder Pauldrons, Upper Arm Bracers (I miscalculated her size so the lower half of her arms are off the page.), Rib/Thigh protection, and an armored snout.

She's mostly black with white stripes, most of the armor is dark gray with black borders, and all of the white areas glow Glacial Blue when she's powering up. And yes, the mane is white and glows as well. (She's my pretty little Magical Girl Kaiju ✨🫶✨)

I don't know if anyone can see this as well, but she also has these black little Horns? Attached to the outside of her ears. They don't really do anything, I just wanted to give the similar appearance of Kn8's horns without copying them directly.

As for Mizu Ashiro herself, I tried to split the difference and modeled her after both of her parents. She's got Mina's long hair and hair clips, but her father's spiky type of hair (Which is why it sticks straight out like that.) She's got her mother's eyes and ears, but her dad's eye shape and nose. It's also clear that she takes after her father in body type. (Gotta carry on the tradition of carrying them Tig Bitties in both Human and Kaiju👍)

She's a fairly bubbly and optimistic person, but definitely gets terrified very easily (especially around heights.) Thankfully, she works with a team that can talk her through it most of the time and is actively working on it.

She also grew up exhibiting a lot of Cat-like traits like making lap biscuits when nervous, murrping at someone when they catch her slightly off guard, and napping in the weirdest positions/places. Not even being in the defense force broke those habits out of her and her team likes to poke fun at them playfully when they happen.

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depraved-gf · 1 year ago

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How fitting that I would write this exactly two months to the day after I went no contact with this boy. Hm.

Well. You all requested the story of the last boy I ever had feelings for. So buckle up. It's worth it to note that I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), so while I do have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, if I do happen to find that rare attachment, my feelings can get intense and happen very quickly. I don't get to choose it, but sometimes my BPD can also latch onto someone and make them what's called a Favorite Person (FP).

An FP to someone with BPD is like looking up at God. It can be anyone. You see, an FP can do no wrong, even if they do. You attach to them, connection wise, emotionally, spiritually, and they're your every waking thought. It's toxic for both parties. And for someone with BPD, forcing yourself to detach from an FP feels like LITERAL death.

I've only had 2 of them, including this boy. The one before him was my toxic ex of 14 years. Yes... 14 years, I stayed with my last FP. Do you see why an FP can be detrimental?

Anyway. I met this boy online. We'll call him J.

Y'see, I post on occasion to NSFW reddit. I began doing this after my big breakup to see if someone like me could ever be desirable. Again... This was a very long and neglectful relationship. I've posted on and off, but back in late September, I was posting while I was still FtM (Female-to-Male) and transitioning. This matters.

I received a chat request from this guy. I looked at his profile. Really liked what I saw. Saw that he commented often on another FtM's profile, thus making him okay with my transitioning body - a big plus and a nice refuge from the constant misgendering and need for a "female body."

J messaged me kindly enough. He didn't immediately sexualize me. I mean, he did, but it was welcomed and as expected on NSFW reddit. But he was kind about it. Even funny, really.

I initially didn't respond all that much. A couple times every few days, maybe. In a sea of messages, I don't often have a lot of energy to respond. But it wasn't long when I got the message, "so, if we're going to talk [like this], I may as well get to know the person behind the pics, right?" and proceeded to ask about me. My interests. My favorite things. [Note: I wish I still had the account, but I deleted it entirely so I wouldn't continue to hurt myself while looking back at these messages. I only have the meaningful screenshots left.]

So we talked.

A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. We got to know each other. Sexted. Made personal videos for one another. And went right back to talking normally. All day, everyday. He lived 3 hours away. I learned that he was the 4th of 12 kids, and he learned that I lost my eldest brother to drugs. I learned his favorite color was purple and he learned mine is nature green. We both were heavily abused in past relationships and never knew what it felt like to be loved or cared for. We both gamed, we enjoyed the same hobbies. He ensured to always ask if he was crossing any gender boundaries, asked me what I preferred to be called, always, always was so considerate towards my transition.

We agreed to talk more and become FWBs. But both of us were so shy and fearful of meeting since we'd never met anyone from online before, so we agreed to talk a little longer. J is the most shy, yet arrogant man I've ever met lmao. [Just my type. Shame on me. I love a god complex.]

Days passed. A week. Two. All day, everyday, J and I would talk. And once I started feeling a little dysphoric about being male, he very quickly switched over to using my preferred pronouns and pet names. It was seamless, and something I never experienced before.

He encouraged me to be the best version of myself. I encouraged him to get back into streaming on twitch, his past relationships always making him quit or mocking him for doing it.

We sent face pictures after being shy. We sent voice notes. He made it a game to try guessing my deadname (with my permission), and when I told him he had to guess extremely early-mid 90s names, he sent me more voice notes. [These, I do still have]. "It's Katherine. No? Okay, dammit. I'm going to get this, Isa, mark my words. [The next day, another voice note.] So I was actually thinkin' about it ALL DAY, but I kinda don't wanna say my next guess because it's gonna be kinda awkward if it's right- [second voice message after I encouraged him to say it] -*a smile in his voice* No, Isa, I do not have the voice of a Greek god, leave me alone *laughs* you're just tryna make me all smiley and shit, motherfucker. Okay, so I was thinkin' it's Samantha, 'cause that's a super 90s ass name, right?"

He had told me I had the voice of an angel and I told him he had the voice of a Greek god. [And tumblr, he did. Ohhhh, he did. Just hearing them again to type it out gave me full body chills. Ugh.]

He trusted me when his aunt unalived herself. Vented to me, said he wanted to take time for himself but that he just couldn't stay away from talking to me, explaining that he didn't even trust his best friends with the grisly details of her death because it was so bad.

I'd also occasionally get 3am messages saying he's thinking about me.

Or little things like, "I can't talk to anyone like I talk to you, Isa." Or while he was driving to work, he'd send me sky pictures since he lives in rural [state], knowing I sort of miss the pretty country skies. "It's so pretty out today, nothing compared to you, though." or-

He'd keep sayin' real cutesy shit like that for a FWB. But then, he asked me to send a few songs his way that would generally explain my music taste. This was the kicker - I was raised in a full musicians household. Music is quite literally my life. It's my home. My sanctuary. So when I sent him over my songs, thinking he'd never heard of my shit, he sent back the same shit. And we agreed to go see August Burns Red in early December. Our first meeting was going to be a concert for a band we both loved. [Yes. Ouch, in hindsight. I ended up not going, obviously.]

So the mf made me a whole playlist on Spotify since it's what I use. And I made him one on YouTube premium since it's what he used. And I shit you not, it's just about the same fucking music. Really freaked me out but in the best way.

Then... After more days passed, I had a really, really bad night. Y'see, I suffer from gallbladder issues from my very fluctuating weight throughout my life. I have EDs (eating disorders) - I've been in the 80lb category before, and I've also been up in the 280s. I've not been kind to my body and this is my payment. One night, I had a particularly bad episode. If you've never had a gallbladder attack, imagine the most intense pain you've ever experienced - now, take it and form it into a very sharp, spiky, WAY too small rubber band, and wrap it around your entire abdomen across your sternum and around your back. Deal with that 12/10 pain for a full day, nothing touching it, and then deal with the aftershocks of it for a full week after. [I have doctor phobia. Leave me alone. I manage.]

I had a particularly bad attack, and J was there. We hadn't done much else except talk on reddit and occasionally snap or text and send cute voice notes. But that night, he remembered that I mentioned finding comfort when my ex would play games while I was sick. I love to watch people play games if I'm not the one actually playing for once. It relaxes me. It reminds me of the simpler times when my brother and I would stay up and play Final Fantasy until the early morning hours. J did something I didn't expect, though - on Discord, he offered to call me while he played his game before he had to stream with his friends. We hadn't talked on the phone before this, both of us just far too shy and afraid to fuck it up.

But he did. He called me. And it was awkward, and it was adorable, and so, so endearing. It comforted me through the immense, blinding pain. It didn't seem so bad when I had that voice comforting me in my ears.

He even stayed on a little later and made his friends wait to ensure I was comfortable, before he hung up to stream. And even then, this man had always been so good about texting during his game even when I told him to "focus, dummy!<3." I turned on his stream after that and I fell asleep to his voice. In what was once searing pain, I managed to fall asleep.

But y'see, J wasn't just super sweet. He was possessive. When I posted on reddit, he'd always tell me how jealous he got that I was talking to others, even passively in my comments. Again, a huge turn on for me. He told me I was his. That he'd come show me who I belonged to.

Eventually... We confessed that we had feelings for one another. "You got me actin crazy, I've never given out my number to anyone online, I be thinkin' about you at 4am all the time, workin' to keep you around... I'd say I prolly do [have feelings]."

It got serious after that when he confessed it truthfully without jokes. That one is for me.

Oh, and here's me, in all my flirtatiously awkward glory:

What a surprise, Isa doesn't know how to flirt.

But... Some things didn't add up after a while. He didn't like to snap much, instead opting to remain on reddit. He kept making the time to meet later and later, eventually saying he likely wouldn't be able to come up until late January, and this was mid-October. I expressed my concern on the matter, saying that I understood his hesitation if he wanted to take time, but also that I was admittedly upset after I was the one who already bought our tickets and accommodations and shit. And it seemed to be fine. "Aight listen, you're right, I'm sorry. There really is no reason, I was just scared of fuckin' this up. If my babygirl wants to see me sooner, then imma make it work. ABR [August Burns Red] it is, send me the ticket again." [<- REMEMBER THIS!!!]

Then, we'd get into tiny little spats.... Where he'd then say shit like, "well it's not like we know each other, goddamn." And be immediately cool with ending it.

But then he'd apologize for acting up. "If I'm acting dumb just tell me and I'll act right"

It was small things at first. Then he suddenly started getting distant.

I wouldn't hear from him a whole lot. And so when I communicated and asked him what was up, October 19th, he finally spoke up and said he was angry that I made him feel forced and rushed to come see me.

And y'know what I did?

I apologized. Cried to him. Begged him to stay and that I'd be better. Felt like such a shit person for making him feel forced, even though I went back much later into the messages and saw that I was extremely understanding about his anxiety, and only upset about the plans after he had me buy the tickets/accommodations.

Looking back, it wasn't my responsibility to read through the lines of him retracting back to agreeing to go. And it ended up being a cop out. [I'm getting to this. Just trust me.]

So we talked normally after that. Even sorta flirted like normal, but it was strained. You could tell.

"Makin' me do the lil smiley thing again" he said to our little Mr. Miyagi banter. [An inside thing...]

October 21st, though.

9pm.

"Isa. I wasn't going to tell you this, but you deserve to know.

I learned about a week ago that I got my girlfriend pregnant. And ion wanna keep doin this shit with you if imma make it right. No reason we can't still be friends tho?"

...what- HUH?!

My heart exploded. I couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to physically hold myself together where it felt like my core was going to snap in half. I was dying. Dying. DYING.

He explained that he was planning to break up with her for a while because it began as a drug relationship and they don't really talk since he got clean, but that she's very volatile and he's afraid of what she'd do if he left.

I simply wished him well and went no contact.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I watched his streams just to hear his voice one more time. I listened to the voice notes. I needed him. I craved him.

Pleasecomebackpleasecomebackpleasecomeback

I did my own research. Turns out they were engaged.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I drank myself to near death. Jameson Black Barrel Whiskey will never taste the same. Countless hours spent venting to my poor roommate. Yelling. Screaming. Feeling hollow. Empty. Dead.

He was my FP, and now he was dead.

...............

About a month later, mid-November, I got a reddit message. "Is it bad that I still come to your page to check on you?"

My response was surface level. I wasn't strong enough not to respond yet. But I did leave him on read after that. "Well, you know I'll always be a fan of you."

Maybe 2 weeks later, I had seen that he was streaming with a camera on this time. I watched him. The way he carries himself, his voice, his mannerisms. I was okay for the most part, but it was bittersweet. Like an old flame.

I saw him look down at his phone, and Bing! My phone went off.

"I see you on stream 👀"

And he got visibly more excited. Animated with the game. More talkative and smiley.

And then I left. I deserved that power play. And I haven't been back.

I deleted my reddit account after that. Didn't want to look back. Didn't want the memories. Started up my backup.

And last night, at 2am, I got a chat request from a familiar name.

And here we are.

I still think about him at least a couple times a day, but it's fleeting. Like looking back at an old flame, like I said before.

I learned that situationship breakups hurt worse than relationship breakups do, because you weren't able to see the bad side of it yet.

But oh, me.

Boys, boys, boys.

Y'all drive me fuckin' crazy.

So, here's to you, J.

#The adventures of J #YOU SAID YOU WANTED IT DETAILED #I'm a detailed kinda gal #Spotify

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butterflyinthewell · 3 years ago

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Raditz headcanons!

(Warning: some nsfw text ahead! Scroll to the second picture to avoid it.)

The funny stuff:

Raditz fucks. He calls himself a slut because he fucks often and he’s good at it.

He is happy to suck dick, eat pussy and eat ass for money. He’s not picky as long as the presented part is clean.

He’s proudly bisexual.

His dick is huge. Monstrous.

He loves to land on a planet he’s going to decimate and shmooze, go to bars, get drunk, say he’ll let them live if the sex is good, fuck whoever offers and kill everyone there anyway.

He rawed Zarbon’s brains out because Zarbon said he doubted Saiyajins could fuck. Zarbon still refuses to admit it’s the best dick he ever got in his life. All Raditz has to do is grab at his own crotch around Zarbon and that pretty jerk gets all flustered.

Raditz loves to be naked. He’s immodest and an exhibitionist, so he only wears clothes because he gets tired of people yelling at him to put some on.

He’s that guy who will eat the most disgusting food item or food mixture you put in front of him just to gross out everyone watching. Ice cream with toothpaste? Pop tarts with ketchup on them? Something alive and wiggly? Sure, he’ll eat it without flinching and watch you squirm.

He’s an expert troll. No, he’s a god-tier troll.

Once, he pranked the Ginyu Force by making Guldo stink. Guldo has no sense of smell, so Raditz smeared rotten meat all over the inside of his armor once while the little guy was in the showers. It took a week to figure the stink out, but nobody knew Raditz did it.

He can do a pretty good impression of Zarbon’s voice, so he once got a bunch of troops outside of Freeza’s room under “orders from Zarbon”. He got caught for that one and got his ass beat, but he’ll say it was worth it.

He draws things on the back of Nappa’s bald head while Nappa is asleep. Usually faces, but once or twice it was a dick or butt crack.

Once, he sent a dick pic to Freeza’s scouter during a debriefing and made the little bastard choke on his wine.

Another time, he got a dick pic onto the debriefing display and it ruined the whole meeting because everybody started yelling at each other. Raditz sat back and watched the chaos unfold with a shit-eating grin on his face. Yep, he showed the entire Freeza Force a picture of his enormous fully erect dick and he’d do it again.

And another time, he played the audio of Zarbon moaning and gasping all over Freeza’s ship, and Zarbon couldn’t do anything about it because it would mean confessing to letting Raditz fuck his brains out. Zarbon likes to project this image that he’s chaste and above such base desires, so being reminded of the time he had with Raditz embarrasses him so so sooooo much.

He jacked off into Freeza’s wine once. Freeza took a drink, spat it out and killed the guy who brought the wine. Nappa and Vegeta were in on this one, so the three of them snickered about it for months.

He taught Vegeta how to kiss by making out with him. It sorta broke his heart a little when Vegeta later said he wasn’t interested in him that way, cuz he had a bit of a crush on the Saiyajin prince.

Raditz might act cold and uncaring, but he has a big soft spot for kids. He wants to settle down and have some of his own someday. Unfortunately, life under Freeza doesn’t give him that opportunity. Plus, he’s a little afraid to for the genetic reasons about to be mentioned below.

The serious stuff:

Raditz’s biggest struggle is his epilepsy.

He was born with a rare gene mutation called a Naeb deletion (or Naeb syndrome) that kills most Saiyajin babies before their second birthday. (It’s pronounced “naw-EEB”.)

There are four Naeb genes in the average Saiyajin, or seizure suppressor genes. All four have to be present or a Saiyajin comes out with Naeb syndrome. Raditz is missing two of these genes.

Some Saiyajins carry an extra (fifth) Naeb gene-- a mutation-- that causes these deletions in children. If only one parent has that gene, the chances of a kid with Naeb syndrome are fifty-fifty. If both parents have the mutation, all their kids come out with it and it's usually fatal. Bardock had an extra Naeb gene, but Gine didn't. That's why Raditz has seizures and Goku doesn’t.

Every Saiyajin with Naeb syndrome is missing their last set of molars, has two extra ribs, has denser than average bones and extremely long hair. Their brain development is also faster than average, which can mean it grows faster than the skull around it. Sometimes the skull doesn’t grow fast enough to keep up with the brain, so the brain is crushed.

Structurally, Raditz’s brain has all the parts it’s supposed to, but they’re in slightly different places. He has less cerebrospinal fluid than average, his corpus callosum looks like a ring from the side and his lateral ventricles are smaller because his brain had to fold in on itself more to fit inside his skull. There’s a spot in his parietal lobe that’s pressed right up against the inside of his skull, and his meninges and a few millimeters of cerebrospinal fluid are the only thing that stops his brain from lacerating itself. That spot is always spiking with abnormal electrical activity. It’s like a match striking over and over. His brain doesn’t like being so squished in his skull, so sometimes it misfires when that “match” strikes and you get a flame, which is a seizure.

Raditz has a few different seizure types depending on which parts of his brain react to the constant “striking” activity and some of his seizures have a few triggers.

Doctors call Raditz’s epilepsy “mild”, but Raditz disagrees and considers it severe because he’s the one affected by it and not them.

He’s tried many different medications and none work. Surgery isn’t an option because Saiyajins don’t tolerate brain surgery very well and the chances of developing new seizure sources outweigh the benefits.

His scouter records and logs his seizures. He gets the time of the seizure, the length of the seizure and a video of the environment he was in. (If something flashes, the flashing is removed.)

Flashing lights can trigger seizures. His scouter has special polarized glass that counter flashes whenever someone’s ki flashes, so he just sees a solid color in that eye. Blocking one eye helps prevent the electrical excitation in his brain that turns into seizures. This doesn’t work if he’s exposed to flashing lights for longer than sixty seconds though. This is meant to give him time to turn away or cover his other eye.

He can’t go anywhere with strobes because of his seizures. Bars are okay since most don’t have strobes, but nightclubs are inaccessible.

Focal aware seizures are his most common seizure type, and he can have hundreds of these a day. They’re twenty seconds long. You can’t tell he’s having one unless you know what to look for, which is a faint quiver in his eyelids when he blinks. Sometimes he closes his eyes until the worst part of it is over.

It’s hard for him to describe how these seizures feel. They start as a little tingling at the tip of his thumb that spreads to his wrist. It’s a very annoying sensation. Then he gets sudden vertigo like someone yanks the ground sideways. During that vertigo he perceives everything as being way too close and too real. He gets a strong sense of doom. That’s the worst part. Then it’s over. The tingling stops, his senses return to normal and his heart rate slows.

He learned to compensate for the vertigo, so he can still fly and fight while having a focal aware seizure and nobody would know the difference.

Atonic seizures aren’t his most devastating seizures, but they’re the only seizure that embarrasses him to have in public. His muscles suddenly lose tone and he blacks out for a split second. If he’s walking or standing, he falls headfirst to the ground. If he’s sitting, he slumps. If he’s flying, he loses altitude for a second or two.

His atonic seizures happen when he doesn’t get enough sleep. They tend to come in clusters of two or three in a row. They can mess with his memory, causing him to lose a few minutes or be confused about where he is. If he’s in the middle of a conversation, he might forget what was being talked about, but reminding him gets him back on track.

Tonic clonic seizures are Raditz’s most devastating seizures. These are the big bad seizures that can be triggered by flashing lights. He can have them spontaneously, too, and averages about one or two a week.

Spontaneous ones start with his usual tingly focal aware seizures. He knows it’s going to generalize if the tingle continues up his arm instead of fading away. The second the tingle reaches his neck, he goes. His eyes roll back, he gets stiff, he shakes and he’s down for awhile.

Induced seizures give him no warning other than a sudden, extremely intense pain in the back of his skull. Induced seizures are worse than spontaneous ones because they’re more violent and last longer.

Some of his other weird TC triggers are going into or coming down from an oozaru transformation, getting dehydrated, not eating enough, being awakened out of delta wave sleep and stimulants like caffeine.

Regardless of how a TC started, he loses several hours of memory and doesn’t get it all back. His worst seizure wiped out a month of his life and he never regained those memories.

If he just ate, he will puke as he enters the tonic phase of the seizure. This is a huge choking hazard for him. He doesn’t care if he pees or poops himself during a seizure, but vomiting is really bad. If he just ate a huge meal and feels a TC coming, he’ll stick his finger down his throat and get the puking done before the seizure hits.

He almost always wets or soils himself during the clonic phase unless he just went to the bathroom before he had it.

If he powers up as a TC starts, his power rises uncontrollably until the tonic phase progresses into the clonic phase, then he releases massive ki waves that destroy everything around him. He hits power levels he can’t reach while conscious and in control of his ki, but this is dangerous because he could power up until he explodes and there’s no way to stop it.

His instinct when he realizes a seizure is generalizing is to either finish a fight quickly or power down and go hide to have the seizure because he knows he’s vulnerable during and after.

The worst seizure of his life was caused by Captain Ginyu. He goaded Raditz into attacking without his scouter and flickered a ki ball right in his face. Raditz went down. The Ginyu Force kicked him around while he was on the ground seizing. Nappa lured them into a fight to stop the unfair beating and Vegeta dragged Raditz away to finish the seizure. It was awful because Raditz threw up and soiled himself and the Ginyu Force made sure he got covered in all of it.

Raditz doesn’t remember this and neither Vegeta nor Nappa told him what really happened.

Post-ictal Raditz will remove anything on his body that feels bad, so he often ends up naked. He won’t recognize friend or foe and isn’t going to react kindly to being crowded.

If he’s alone, he’s likely to sit staring at the ceiling or sky until he collapses into sleep.

His scouter shows him a picture of his attack ball if he’s on a mission and that’s enough incentive for him to go find it even while too confused to tell someone his own name.

After his post-seizure sleep, he wakes up kinda giddy and hyperactive as his unsettled brain chemistry tries to restore balance. He will be sore as hell, too, usually that’s how he knows he had a seizure.

Nappa and Vegeta have seen so many seizures. They take bets on whether Raditz will pee, poop or do both. Then they’ll flip him on his side and wait it out. Barring emergency retreats, they don’t let him leave an area until he can identify a scouter by name.

Yep, seizures messed up some of his slutty sexual escapades. Usually by killing whoever he was trying to fuck since the violent convulsions hurt other people and his immediate environment more than they hurt him.

And finally…

The loss of planet Vegeta isn’t something Raditz likes to talk about. He was on a scouter to scouter call with someone there when it happened and all he heard was a bunch of screaming. He still can’t handle listening to recorded audio of screaming people because it reminds him of hearing his planet die.

#Raditz #DBZ #swearing #headcanon #ableism #food mention #tw vomit mention #n s f w post

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imagintheworldaway · 4 years ago

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Together

Anonymous asked: Hello! Can you do a Harryxfem! Reader where people see how Harry looks at the reader (calorie challenge- rematch (time stamp 27:17)) and the reader is so oblivious to Harry’s feeling for her because he broke up with his long-term ex last fall and she doesn’t want to read deep into it and just keeps telling people that they’re just friends even though everyone can see past the bull crap and keeps shipping them because they’re very similar and meant to be and after months of Harry pinning after her he tries to move on and go on dates (which fails but she doesn’t know that it’s not working out for him ) so she starts seeing someone and magically somehow end up together and become the “it” couple because of how blunt and honest they are. Sorry that was long! Hope you can write it thanks!

A/N Good gosh this is a long one. I hope you enjoy! Requests are open

Sitting on the sofa next to Cal, snuggled in a mountain of blankets in Harrys apartment whilst the boys filmed a video was always fun. They were filming the 100,000 calorie challenge and it was JJ, Vik , Cal and Harrys turn to be eating the calories. We were sat watching JJ as he revealed he had absolutely failed the challenge to everyones surprise. The boys all started to complain as I giggled at the failure which was JJ right now. I felt a slight nudge on my side and Cal not so discreetly nodding towards Harry, I looked over at him and smiled but he averted his gaze from me and buried his head into the massive bear still complaining at JJ as it was revealed he had messed up the challenge even more by starting before the official time.

After JJ’s little mess up they decided to make the fried mars bars, and I feel as though even saying it is cause for disaster. The boys were all crowded around the counter, just making a mess really, not much surprise there. I was happy in my own little world scrolling through instagram with the boys chatter in the background when I started to smell something burning and a mass amount of smoke from the boys. “Oh my god you idiots” I said matter of factly before grabbing the pan and holding it out the window, not wanting the apartment to stink of burnt mars bars as the guys tried to switch off the fire alarm.

Once everything had calmed down I started to clean up as the boys ate the left over chocolates. “ you don’t have to clean up Y/N” Harry said to me as he bought over a plate to the sink. “Its ok I don’t mind, something to do at least” I smiled up at him. “You sure? I feel bad” he said scratching his shoulder and giving me an awkward smile. “I’m sure, go enjoy your food” I giggled pushing the boy away from me slightly. I finished up the washing as the boys chatted over their takeaways trying to figure out how many calories they were up to. I popped the remaining dishes in the dish washer and popped it on for the boys.

Once they had finished Cal and I bid the boys goodbye and hoped in an Uber, we lived in the same apartment complex so it made sense that we shared rides just about everywhere. “Soooo” cal started tapping his his legs to the beat of the song that the Uber driver had popped on for us. i gave him a questioning glance as I sent my text to Harry, informing him I had popped the dish washer on and for him not to forget about it. “When are you two finally going to get together” Cal said peering over my shoulder and trying to take a peek at my texts with Harry. I just scoffed switching off my phone and turning my head to look at Cal. “Look he got out of a long term relationship not even six months ago, he just needs a friend right now, and that’s all I am, a friend, plus even if he hadn’t just gotten out of a relationship, well I don’t think he’d be interested in me anyway, like I said I’m just a friend” I shrugged to Cal giving him a half smile trying to cover the sadness which was evident on my face. “I don’t know Y/N if you ask me, or well any of the lads he looks at you like your a gift here gracing us all with your presence. like your some type of angel, he likes you, he really does, he’s just scared to ruin what you have” Cal stated as we hoped out the uber and made our ways into the lift. “Well I don’t want to sound rude, but I didn’t ask Cal, I don’t need my hopes being brought up just for it all to be speculation.” I stated matter of factly. “This is me, I’ll see you later yh?” I questioned Cal who just pursed his lips and nodded to me giving a small see ya.

I really wasn’t trying to be rude but I had had my heartbroken so many times, and I don’t want to start getting my hopes up about Harry if it is just all speculation and some sort of narrative the lads were making up for themselves. I slumped down on my bed and posted a selfie on instagram asking people what they want to know about me. I wasn’t a huge YouTuber but I did have a large instagram following meaning the questions flooded in within an instant. There was the usual that I answered such as my favourite colour, what am I having for dinner, best place I had ever visited and so on. After a few more generic questions someone asked what my favourite picture was. I scrolled through my camera roll and found one of Harry and I at winter wonderland. we were both wearing Santa hats and he was giving me a piggy bag as I held onto a large teddy he had won me moments before. I captioned it ‘Christmas with my Bestfriend, look at how goofy he looks @wroetoshaw’ I giggled as I posted the pic remembering that day. it was a rare day off for the both of us and with Harrys break up still fresh I decided we should go to Winter Wonderland and just have fun. Which we did, it was one of my most treasured memories with him. He had taken his breakup so hard that I felt it was important that he had a friend around who could take the crying and emotions, someone to just cuddle with and forget about the world. And over the past few months I realised that my feelings for Harry had grown, but he was still hurting and there was no way that I was being any boys re-bound.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to blaring light through the blinds of my lounge. I groaned to myself before getting up and trudging to my bedroom to sort myself out. i looked at my phone and I had a few texts from Harry. I smiled as I read them.

‘Thank you! Almost forgot, you are honestly the best Xx’

‘You alive???? Xx’

‘Good night Xx’

‘Like the insta pic’

I furrowed my eyebrows at the last text. It was sent only minutes after the goodnight text and it didn’t have any of the kisses we usually put on the end of our texts to each other. I also hadn’t got a good morning text from Harry, that was particularly strange because I have always gotten a Good morning and Good night text from him for the past few months with out fail. I just shrugged it off before replying,

‘Haha no problem! I fell asleep as soon as I got home I’m sorry :( wanna meet up later? Xx’

I smiled at my reply before going to my bedroom and changing to look more presentable. I checked my phone and it was almost lunch meaning Cal was coming over to film a video with me. just as I re adjusted my hair for the a millionth time I heard a knock on the door signalling that cal was here. “Hello stranger” I smiled letting him into my apartment with the array of crisps and snacks he had in his arms. We were filming a British corner shop mukbang whilst answering twitter questions. As Cal settled himself in my studio I helped by opening the array of snacks and cans of drink that he had bought for us. “Hey really weird question but have you heard from Harry today?” I questioned trying not to sound so desperate as to the whereabouts of the boy. “Uh yh messaging me all morning, think he’s got something on tonight. He not told you?” Cal looked up from the array of junk raising his eyebrows at me as I just shook my head in disbelief that he was ignoring me. As we settled in our seats and I turned the camera on I sent Harry a quick text.

‘Hey have I done something wrong?? :( Xx’

The video was going amazing. Cal and I just naturally bounced off of each other and the questions the fans were giving us were quite juicy. “Alright, alright, I’ve got one. Y/N has Harry asked you out yet or is he still being a melt? From @CalFreezy” I giggled at the question and raised my eyebrows at Cal. “These are meant to be from Fans” I retorted to Cal telling him off a little. “Yh Freezy is your biggest fan he’s always nattering on about you and talking about you moving in with them when Harry gets the guts” Cal defended himself causing me to burst out laughing. “Well we all know Harry and I are friends, I love him very much but that’s as deep as it goes” I replied to Cals previous question from Freezy, slight sadness barely evident in my voice. “Is that the only thing that goes deep” Cal stated before bursting out laughing at himself and falling back in his chair ultimately falling off of it causing me to laugh. “Well that’s it for today guys thank you for watching and thanks to this idiot for joining me” I smiled at the camera before shutting it off and helping Cal from the floor.

“You really need to stop that you know? You can’t force anything to happen” I said matter of factly towards cal as he nibbled on some Pringles. “You see Y/N I’m actually Cal from the future and I’m just stating facts” he gave me a cheesy grin as I tutted at him and rolled my eyes. I was taken out of my trance by a text from my phone. “Alright ditch me for lover boy” Cal called after me. I opened my phone to see it was from Harry but it wasn’t what I was expecting.

‘Hey Y/N, we shouldn’t hang out anymore it makes Belle uncomfortable.’

“Cal what the fuck is this” I shouted to my friend. I heard the thudding of his feet and turned around to show him the message I had just received. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Belle Belle Belle Oh Belle, her really?” Cal scrunched his nose up at me. “Ummm elaborate, who’s Belle?” I pressed for him to release more info to me. “Oh Harry went on a date with her like three weeks ago, looks like it worked out, well for them I guess” Cal shrugged piecing the different parts of the puzzle together for me. “Oh, wow, so he is just gonna drop me like that, like I’m, I’m nothing, like i wasn’t the one there for him when he was mourning over his last breakup. Well that’s a kick in the teeth” I said starting to sniffle, tears threatening to break their way out of my eyes and my mood instantly dropping to nothing. “Hey no don’t cry” Cal said engulfing me in a hug, which I gladly melted into. “If he couldn’t see what he had with you then that boy is more blind than we all thought.” Cal reassured me rubbing my back. “Plus your make up looks too nice to cry it off” Cal said catching a stray tear from my face and making me giggle a little. “Oh Cal why can’t we fall in love?” I questioned sniffing and straightening out my clothes. “Because that would be like fucking my sister and that’s weird” Cal stated making me giggle.

I don’t think anyone could quite get their heads wrapped around the fact that Harry was with someone new, especially because that someone was not me. For the next month I got fans tweeting me asking if Harry and I had broken up or if he had gone crazy. I also got sorry looks from my friends. Always being placed in the furthest seat away from Harry, always given excuses as to why I couldn’t come to shoots. It sucked majorly. And the worst part about all of this is everyone felt like they had to tread on eggshells around me, as if I wasn’t a fully grown woman who could handle these situations.

I knocked on Simons apartment door before he opened it replying to someone about something. “Oh Y/N you alright” he said quickly closing the door a little. “Yh Talia said I could pop round and grab my camera that she borrowed.” I said smiling at the lanky man. “Oh yh well um come in, just be careful yh” Simon nodded at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and just nodded at his comment following him through to the living room. And as soon as I saw the tall figure sat next to Harry with an unimpressed look on her face I realised why Simon gave me such a warning. “Heyyyy Y/N Is here” Ethan called standing up giving me a hug making me giggle a little. “Yh Talia knicked my camera again” I stated smiling at the girl who blushed a little realising she still hadn’t returned my device. “Oh so that’s Y/N” a snotty voice said causing everyone to quiet down and all eyes turning in her direction. “Yup, the one and only” I smiled back at her trying to be as nice as possible. “Belle right? Nice to meet you” I smiled back at her trying to make conversation in the silent room. I rocked back and forth on my heels for a while, Belle gave me a good look up and down, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips as if wanting to comment something. Before she could I saw Harry whisper something to her and she scoffed. “If I have an opinion I’m going to say it. And I have many about her” Belle said loud enough for everyone to hear whilst pointing at me. “Here I found it” Talia smiled at me handing me my camera before noticing the mood of the room.

“Ok well, I will be off then, lovely to see you all and to meet you Belle” I stated the last part through gritted teeth before spinning around and making my way to the door. “Even worse from the back” I heard Belle try and whisper to I presume Harry. I stopped in my tracks and raised my eyebrows. The audacity of this girl, how dare she disrespect me in front of all my friends. I turned around to meet her eyes with a sickeningly sweet smile on my face. Before I could say anything though Talia butted in. “You know what, you do not talk to my friend like that, I have barely known you a month and I am so sick of you already, please leave before I do or say something I regret” she smiled at Belle joining me by my side and linking arms with me. Belle just looked around at everyone, with everyone just averting their gaze and waiting for something big to happen. All she did was huff, grabbing Harrys hand and storming out of the apartment with him.

“Jesus Y/N what did you do to make him choose her, she’s like an angry controlling goblin” Ethan huffed as soon as we all heard the door close. “Hey, I got cut off a long time ago, ask him not me” I giggled before thanking Talia and leaving the apartment to go home.

I was lounging around my apartment, Ethans words spiralling around my head. I decided tonight was for me. I popped on my favourite movie and rummaged through my freezer finding some ben and Jerrys and starting to scoff down the tub. This sofa must be super man or something because I had soon fallen asleep, I was only awoken by loud continuous knocking at my door. I regained my focus and gaged my surrounding before wrapping a blanket around myself and making my way to the door. As soon as I opened it I was pulled into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so fucking sorry, its you its always been you, I don’t know what I was thinking, I just needed someone to fill the void and she was ok for a week but I need you. You are all I need, all I want, please forgive me I love you” as much as I just wanted to melt into his arms I pulled my self back so that we were an arm lengths apart. “You best come in” I sighed. I finished the teas and made my way over to Harry, passing him his favourite mug of mine. I crossed my legs as we sat at opposite ends of the sofa in silence.

“What about Belle?” I broke the silence, harry whipped his head up to look at me. “Look I’m so sorry she was a mistake and I should never have even given her shot. She’s so nasty and I could never forgive myself. This past month without you has felt like my heart was ripped in two. I’ve been so miserable and then when I saw you today I felt like I had been given a new chance at life. I get it if you hate me but I need you so bad and I cant live without you.” Harry opened his heart to me for the second time that evening. “You’re such a dummy Harry” I said with a sigh placing my mug on the coffee table. Harry looked at me as if he was broken by the words I just said. I just shook my head at him before leaning over and planting a soft kiss on his lips. The moment seemed to last forever. It was like in the movies when time slowed down and fireworks erupted around the couple who after all their trials and tribulations finally found each other. “I can’t help but love you Harry” I whispered only inches from his face as I pulled back for air, a sly grin on my face. Harrys arms snaked around my wait brining me into him for another soft kiss. i leant my head on his chest listening to his heart, thumping like it was going to break out and slap me in the face. “So what now” harry mumbled into my hair. I leant up so my eyes met his. “Well you will ask me on a date to a nice restaurant where we end up getting a little too drunk. Then we walk along the Thames, watching people walk by when at the perfect moment when the city goes silent you ask me to be your girlfriend and then we come back here and spend the night together. But with a little more physical activity than were used to” I grinned at him causing him to chuckle. “So you forgive me?” He said looking at me with pleading eyes. “God yes I forgive you, I could never be mad at you” I smiled at him. How could I? I did truly love him and it was as simple as that.

After a few months, and the date Harry had promised, we told our friends and announced to our followers that we had finally decided to get together. apparently it was quite obvious as the boys had started taking bets as to when we would tell them about our new relationship. The fans seemed to love it as well, always receiving amazing and supportive comments on all of our posts and videos that we did together. Although we were young I think people saw how care free and happy we made each other. Most importantly how much we loved each other.

#Harry Lewis x reader #Harry Lewis one shot #Harry Lewis imagine #wroetoshaw #harry lewis #w2s #sidemen

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oh-my-may · 4 years ago

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Nishinoya, Bokuto, Oikawa and Atsumu as your boyfriend hcs

requested by anon: hey hey heyyyy! may i request for 'as a boyfriend' headcannons for nishinoya, boukto, oikawa and atsumu please? thank u if u get around doing this !! xoxo

hello there!^^ at first I thought about splitting this post up into 2 parts because usually the ‘as your boyfriend hcs’ are a bit longer but I decided against it so enjoy~ (also atsumus and oikawas are a bit longer because they are my faves and uuuh I am weak lol)

Nishinoya Yuu:

one of the most energetic and happiest boyfriends!!

Will literally love and cherish you until you die and probably even after that, I’m being serious his love and affection for you have no end

though in the beginning of your relationship, or even before it, he always gets very shy around you which is unusual for him. That’s how he knows you’re special to him, because you make him doscover a whole new side of him!

The secret admirer type of crush, everyday you’ll find a new small present waiting on your desk. Your favorite drink, a snack, a small cute note, a new pen when he noticed your old one didn’t work anymore, a small bunch of flowers... It’s just so cute!

But it takes forever until he actually asks you out. In reality, it happens a lot different than he imagined. Normally he made sure he was in school waaayyy before you, but that one day he overslept and was in class just a few minutes before you. or so he thought. You just walked in the moment he placed the small package of milk on your desk and you both just stare at each other for several minutes and he’s about to faint until Tanaka saves him and gets him out of class because “he might develop a fever, his face is all red and sweaty”

2 days or so you don’t hear anything from him, until he manages to get over himself and ask you out in the tiniest voice. He has to repeat himself several times until you understand him properly because the poor boy was so nervous he spoke too fast and too quietly

BUT AFTER he finally gets you to be his he’s just the smiliest baby!!

Will never, not ever, let go of your hand. At least not when he can avoid it.

Always wants you to be on his side, like at practice and such. You can be guaranteed to be found at every single game that Karasuno ever has again, even practice games. You’re always there cheering for him and he’s at his 150% every time! The team loves his energy on the field but it’s a biot exhausting everywhere else :’)

ANWAYS definitely a lot of activity dates! I’m not saying that he would say no to a good old cuddle session, but he’s just always bouncing around, so going to the arcade or comign up with fun games at the park is normally what you do after school and practice!

Tanaka is the accepted third-wheel of your relationship. Whenever your over sat Noya’s he ends up showing up, too a lot of times or he joins in on fun dates, but it’s never uncomfortable or weird. You two actually become really good buddies and he always tells you funny stories about Noya! Also him and Kiyoko and you two go on double dates and it’s!! So cute!!

Did I mention that Noya is the king of skinship and PDA?? He really couldn’t care less who’s around you or who might be watching, his eyes are always on you and his hand somehow magically finds his way to your ass lol

No but on a serious note he just can’t live without you and sometimes he can get really anxious if he doesn’t find you in a crowd or your hands don’t intertwine immediately when he reaches for you. He can’t explain it, it just doesn’t feel good about it when you’re not around him.

Protective!! WILL jump on anyone that looks at you the wrong way or makes you feel uncomfortable. he 100% has Tanaka’s support for this.

Did I forget anything?? That should be about it for my little noya rant, he’s just too cute I’ll hug him to death~

Bokuto Kotarou:

chaotic™

When I tell you he did NOT know what he was doing when he asked you out. Just listened to Akaashi’s and Kuroo’s advice and it somehow worked out for him. Several months into the relationship he’s still not entirely sure how he got you, but he doesn’t complain

(psssht, it was his clumsy charm mixed with some kind of natural charisma that got you, but don’t tell him that he will not shut up about it)

When he first saw you he was at practice and he couldn’t help but stare because how can a real human being be so pretty?? and he actually missed a ball, got it slammed to his head and well what can I say? You almost got him passed out the first time he saw you

He got soooo embarrassed afterwards help the poor boy. The brightest blush ever appeared on his cheeks and ears and his hair immediately went emo mode straight down hanging into his face

The whole situation was so chaotic and messy you couldn’t help but turn around and look for the source of all this trouble, just to find the silver-haired boy staring right at you and hitting you someplace special in your chest, literally taking you aback

Afterwards the coach scolds him for being inattentive and you leave the gym in a hurry, because you as well are embarrassed. But it doesn’t take long until Akaashi gets send to get your number and you can’t help but giggle as he tells you about how Bokuto literally won’t stop whining about you being the prettiest human being on earth

That’s how you started texting and bokuto might just be one of the most random texters (is that even a word??) ever. Like yeah, in the beginning he’ll mainly talk about volleyball and send you sweaty pics of him (no, not these ones!) but then again you’ll get a text at 3am on a thursday and it will be like a really bad picture taken of the moon and it will say like “thought about you” and in the next message 3 seconds later he’ll talk about wanting to be a werewolf or so. And you have to laugh so hard you can’t even be mad at him for waking you up

And that’s basically how you’re relationship works, too. A lot of random texts, especially “come over?” ones or “watch me at practice! please???” and you can’t ever get yourself to say no to him, because he’s always so happy when you show up!

Ngl it kinda distracts him too, but he’s in ace mode when you watch him because he feels the need to impress you even when you tell him there’s no need for him to because you’re already impressed by him

Loves hugs! Hugs after a victory or a defeat, hugs after school and practice and hugs as greetings and goodbyes... Just hugs, so he can entirely engulf you in his big and strong arms and you basically vanish somewhere between his arms. Loves pressing you close in the whole process of it, so close that you can barely breathe for a second, but you actually love it because it just shows his love and affection

9/10 times you’re also the cure to his emo mode. Just very rarely even you can’t help him and it’s upon himself to get over it, but with your presence near him and the opportunity to cuddle onto you while reflecting about himself, he’ll get over it eventually

He’s also the biggest cuddler there could possibly be. most of your dates are stay-inside ones because most of the times he’s exhausted from practice and games, so a chill night in with a good movie or series and some nice snacks really do it for him. He can just cuddle onto you however he likes and he especially likes brushing his fingers over your warm, soft skin. It makes him feel very at ease.

Yeah so that’s about it C: Please just love this smol bean to no end, because his love sure as hell also has no limit

Oikawa Tooru:

People might think he’d be very blunt and cocky and all when he has a crush, but I’m telling you - he’s actually the softest boy ever and prefers to keep his distance at fir4st to observe and understand his feelings for you

So what I’m saying is: As soon as he realizes what exactly his feelings are for you, he gets a bit shy and distant but blushes whenever he sees you

At first he thought you were just one of his obsessed fans and he didn’t think much of it, but then his gaze always wandered over to you, no matter if it was during a game or a practice or at school or when he saw you somewhere else... It was like you were haunting him, in like the best possible way, as he soon realized

It takes him forever to get himself to talk to you, because he wants everything to be perfect. He chooses to approach you in school when he found you alone that one day, but oh well, it totally didn’t go as planned. His glasses fell off his nose when he was trying to be smooth, he hopelessly stumbles across his words and his face got so red you thought you were talking to a tomato. Still, it kinda did something to you. You found it endearing, really. So you could just smile and nod when he asked you to got out with him and the biggest sigh of relief ever™ leaves his lips

He’s still hecka nervous for your first date, asks all his friends and team mates about their opinion on what he should wear and do, where should he take you etc... It takes him so long to decide that you just take it in hand and suggest something and he just rolls with it and turns out to be one of his favorite dates ever. A day at the park, though halfway through it got messy because it started raining and neither of you were prepared, so you had to run and share his jacket to go someplace dry and you end up in a library and neither of you can hold in the giggles when the librarians tell you to “tone it down.” It’s also your first kiss between seemingly endless rows of old books and your hearts flutter like crazy afterwards and you’re just speechless because... OIKAWA IS A GREAT KISSER idc what any of y’all think

so it just becomes a regular thing for him to pull you aside in the gym hall or school halls or whatever and kiss you senseless for his entertainment because your reaction is always 10/10

He may act smooth around others, presenting himself as the cool confident boyfriend, but really... He’s just the softest boy for you and a hopeless romantic on top.

Play with his hair and he will never leave your side ever again. The cutest pink hue will spread on his cheeks the first time you do it and with time you learn more about his soft spots, like brushing your lips or fingertips over his neck or the ticklish feeling he gets when you touch his waist.

Loves to pick out movies and series for you to watch. Most of them are alien or conspiracy theory-themes but you don’t mind, Oikawa is happiest when he can connect several things he loves, like you and aliens, or you and volleyball.

You’re also gonna have to accept the fact that he spends a lot of time on volleyball and that he will come home late and not always have time for you on the weekends. He will, however, especially love it when you work your way through his schedules to meet him, like when you come to watch and support him at practice. He will take extra breaks to pull you close and calm himself down in your arms.

Iwaizumi will definitely become one of your closest friends and you’ll both spend time shit talking about Tooru (ofc in a loving way) and Oikawa can’t help but smile seeing as you get close to his best friend~

He’s not exactly the most jealous type of boyfriend. He does trust you a lot and just makes sure that everybody always knows he’s your boyfriend. Trusts you with handling certain situations, though he will keep an eagle eye on strange boys and men near you and won’t lose no time chiming in when he feels like it to safe you

Of course there’s a big decrease in the numbers of his fangirls after everyone finds out you two are official, but Oikawa actually prefers it this way. As long as you are cheering for him, nothing will be able to stop him.

The bestest and softest boyfriend, not to be dramatic but I’d die for him

Miya Atsumu:

Okay now this one is actually smooth. Or so he thinks.

He’s quite obvious about his crush and feelings for you, so like he won’t hide it and use every possible opportunity to talk to you and flirt with you. And when I say flirt I mean he will use every bad pickup line you have ever heard somewhere

At first you’re really really turned off by it, but you do give him credits for being so determined and never giving up. He even takes advice from all his team mates and even though Osamu and Suna are very annoyed by his behaviour, they help because they think it will get better once you two are dating.

So every once in a while he will bring you some self-made delicious food along with a smooth line and one day he catches you off guard so hard you choke on some rice and then blush so hard you run out and you just leave poor Tsumu standing there wondering??? Are you okay? Did he just make you blush?

The next day he comes apologizing with the biggest bouquet of flowers right in front of everybody in your class and you get soooo embarrassed and the way he’s standing there is lowkey just adorable so you have no choice but to say yes. You almost catch him blushing right there, as well, because he really didn’t expect you to say that right then and there

Now when I tell you, he’s the most likely out of these 4 to ditch volleyball practice to sdpernd time with you. Most of the time it isn’t even intended, he just forgets time until he either gets a text from his brother or Suna or Kita OR you realize how late it is being like “Tsumus shouldn’t you be at practice since like 2 hours?” “Oh really? Guess not today. Now come here.”

He gets very used to having you close to him, just like Bokuto, so he will start whining when you can’t make it to a game or you’re busy with school work. Will definitely also make surprise visits at your house, like he’ll just randomly appear in front of your window at 3 am?? Are you spiderman??

Not to be angsty on this fluff post but uuhh fights with him can get very bad because he’s a stubborn child and sometimes you’ll catch him not talking to you 3 days after an argument because he needs time to cool down and reflect. He’s in the wrong 4 out of 5 times and he knows, but just give him time and he’ll be fine again. Shows up with the biggest face of regrets and food he threatened his brother to make and he’ll just blob down into your arms mumbling apologies over and over again. Cute.

Jealousy over 3000. Grows red with anger and balls his hands into the fist the moment some guy makes his way to you. Is on your side in 1 second will make no effort to hide his distrust towards the other guy. Sometimes he’ll get a bit too protective and you just have to tell him that and he’ll let you do your thing, though his gaze will never leave you just to make sure

Biggest show off. Will pull you close or hold your hand in public, grinning like and idiot and constantly placing kisses on your knuckles because you’re his baby and he loves you

Before he serves at games he will look right at you and have the most smug smile one has ever seen on his lips before smashing the ball righ into the opponent‘s field with 0 chance of them to safe the ball. It’s lowkey hot.

Also he gets very pouty and whiny when tired after a long day at school with practice or after exhausting games! Will constantly place his head on top of yours, saying it’s “too heavy” and he literally just covers your body with his.

The type to unconsciously pull you closer while sleeping!! The cutest habit! Always makes you smile when he does it!

A lot of your dates involve either volleyball or playing video games (sometimes Osamu or Suna join) and it’s most of the times just really chill. From time to time though, he’ll get the urge to do something else and next thing you know is you’re wall climbing or on a roller coaster or something. It’s either all or nothing with him concerning dates lmao

Also loves bickering! Will sometimes annoy you on purpose to see your cute face and you’ll have small arguments about who stinks more or whatever and then it always ends with “i love you though”

djsklsl I’m stopping myself now because this was getting too long because I am biased™

622 notes · View notes

kpophours · 4 years ago

Text

Sweet Night (M)

➵ Stray Kids: Bang Chan x fem. reader / one shot, college AU, camping trip AU / fluff, smut / REQUESTED

➵ warnings: slight cursing, explicit mentions of sex (slight public teasing, orgasm denial, oral: receiving, slight choking)

➵ word count: 6k (lol oops)

a/n: after a few anon requests/inquiries, I decided to write this one shot as the second part to Way to You - you can absolutely read this on its own though.

I’M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, OOOOOOH! I’M WALKING ON-

Your eyes fly open as soon as the song starts blaring from somewhere beside you, and you blindly fumble for the alarm clock, thankfully managing to find the off-switch quite quickly. This very annoying clock was a horrible yet also kinda thoughtful birthday gift from Chan’s roommates, as it’s quite possibly the loudest one on the market, meaning it is able to wake literally anyone. It could probably even wake Dracula from his deep slumber in the depths of his castle somewhere in Romania. And while Chan might not be a vampire, he isn’t one to wake easily either, so this extremely loud alarm clock was the only solution your friends had been able to come up with. Which sadly means you experience something close to a heart attack every morning - or well, at least a few times a week, as you do still spend some nights at the apartment you share with Jisung.

You fall back into the pillows, heart still racing from the sudden noise. Pale sunlight filters through the curtains and into the otherwise dark room. You groan, blinking against the rays of light hitting you straight in the face, and turn around to cuddle into your boyfriend’s broad back. He hums, only half-awake himself, and turns around to wrap both arms around you, leaving a lazy kiss on your forehead.

Suddenly, there’s a crash from somewhere in the house, and you jump. Chan sighs deeply, and murmurs “Hyunjin, probably.” under his breath - it’s no secret that his roommate is a walking disaster. You don’t answer, only pressing a soft kiss on his naked chest. “How’d you sleep?”, he asks, one hand beginning to trace gentle patterns on your bare back. “Like a rock - which was exactly what I needed after my midterms.”, you answer, and he nods. “You more than deserved that, babe. I’m really proud of you, by the way. I’m sure you aced all your exams.”, he says, and you can’t help but smile at his sweet words. You look up at him, gently cupping his cheek, and kiss him. He basically melts against you, pulling you even closer towards him, and bites down on your lower lip to slide his tongue into your mouth. Before this can end in a steamy morning make-out session, there’s a knock on Chan’s door. He groans and draws back from you, expression grumpy. “What?”, he then yells, shooting daggers towards his door. “Just wanted to make sure you’re up, we’re supposed to be leaving in an hour!”, Felix answers, sounding way too cheerful so early in the morning. “Ugh, I hate morning people. Just once I want to get up in the morning without having to go through the seven stages of grief first.”, you mumble, your warm breath tickling Chan’s neck and making him giggle and wiggle away from you. “Yeah, we’re up!”, he quickly answers Felix, who shuffles away from the door, before turning towards you again, “Wait, aren’t there only five stages of grief? What are your extra two?” “Denial part two and astral projection.”, you answer, and Chan laughs before giving you a soft smile, brushing some of your hair out of your face.

“Breakfast?”, he then asks, and you nod. “Absolutely. I need coffee, and lots of it.”, you agree, and he rolls his eyes. “I swear, by now there’s definitely coffee running through your veins instead of blood.”, Chan mumbles, before jumping out of bed to grab his underwear from the floor. You just chuckle and follow him, but can’t seem to find your bra anywhere. “What the Hell…”, you mumble under your breath, twirling around once in a desperate attempt to locate it. “Uh. Looking for this?”, Chan asks and you follow his gaze. You both burst into loud laughter when you spot your bra happily dangling from the ceiling light. “Well, we had to be very fast yesterday evening. Clothes went flying, and quite literally it seems.”, you say, lips twitching while you stand on your tiptoes to get your bra, and Chan nods in agreement. “Very fast indeed - but we couldn’t let the others begin the movie night without us! We had valid reasons.” He grins and wraps both arms around your waist to pull you close to him again, giving you a quick peck on the lips. When you want to deepen the kiss, he draws back again, expression stern. “No time for that, we have to get ready, eat breakfast and you still need to pack some of your stuff before we can leave. And we don’t want to let the others wait, right?” You sigh and pout. “No, we don’t, apparently.”, you just answer, and wiggle into your jeans and turtleneck, finally ready to leave the privacy of Chan’s room and get something to eat.

The scent of fresh coffee and pancakes greets you when you arrive downstairs, and you inhale deeply. Felix is standing in front of the stove, humming a soft tune under his breath while working on making the tower of pancakes beside him even taller. He turns around when you enter the kitchen, giving you his signature sunshine smile. “Morning, Y/N.”, he greets you, “Slept well?” You nod and peek over his shoulder. “Yup. And have I ever told you how much I love you?”, you ask, stealing a piece of pancake directly out of the pan, and Felix tries to swat your hand away before he chuckles. “Shouldn’t you say that to Chan, not to me?”, he replies, and your boyfriend, just entering the kitchen behind you, sighs deeply. “She’s an opportunist, meaning she’ll tell anyone she loves them if it means she gets what she wants, so beware. I actually rarely hear her say it to me.”, Chan says warningly, and you shoot him a dark look. “Oh shut up, that’s so not true. I tell you I love you at least once or twice a day, you needy baby.”, you grumble, and just then, Minho joins the small kitchen party. “Needy baby? You’re not talking about Hyunjin, are you?”, he asks, ruffling his crazy bed hair while filling a mug with coffee, sighing contently when he takes the first sip. You grin and shake your head, before taking a mug out of the cabinet yourself.

Said roommate also enters the kitchen just then, face looking quite puffy. You raise both eyebrows. “Did you cry yourself to sleep last night?”, you ask, and take a sip of coffee to hide your shit-eating grin. Hyunjin throws you a dark glare, and crosses both arms in front of his chest. “No. But I did have a slight mental breakdown after realizing I probably failed my last exam yesterday, so I decided to treat myself to some late-night-ramen, and now I look like this.”, he points at his face, beginning to pout, “God just hates pretty people, he’s clearly punishing me for my dashing looks.” “Or maybe he just doesn’t like narcissists.”, Jeongin offers when he enters the kitchen, shoving Minho out of the way to get to the kitchen cabinet almost overflowing with mugs. You decide it’s finally getting too crowded in the kitchen, and leave it again. You’re absolutely not a morning person, and can’t deal with the boys’ constant bickering without having experienced the positive effect of the caffeine you’re currently consuming.

Seungmin is sitting on one of the sofas, currently scrolling through Instagram and apparently trying to like every cute puppy pic in existence. “Morning.”, you greet him and take a seat beside him, peeking over his shoulder and cooing at an extremely cute baby golden retriever. Seungmin just greets you with a curt nod of his head, not being a morning person either, and keeps scrolling. Minutes later, Felix enters the living room, balancing a giant plate of fresh pancakes in front of him while all the other boys follow him like stray dogs. “What would you guys even do without Felix cooking for you all the time?”, you ask, mouth watering when you inhale the delicious smell. “Starve and die.”, Seungmin deadpans, while Jeongin answers: “We’d have to look at Hyunjin’s ugly bloated face every day because we’d solely live off ramen.” Hyunjin hits the back of his head for that, but the younger boy just shoots him his cheshire cat grin. “I mean, I could cook too, I guess.”, Chan says, frowning, and everyone bursts into loud laughter. “Wow okay, I’ll try not to take this personally…”, your boyfriend grumbles, and sits down at the dining table. You slide onto the chair next to him, and pat his thigh affectionately. “I love you, babe, but you literally didn’t know how to whisk eggs when we wanted to bake cookies last week.”, you say, and Chan sighs. “That’s... sadly fair. But I could learn!”

“No offense, but we actually like our kitchen intact - thanks for your humble offering though. If Felix should die unexpectedly, we might get back to you.”, Minho answers, and before the situation can escalate into a playful bickering battle, Felix yells “SO, WHO WANTS PANCAKES?!”, successfully managing to distract everyone.

One and a half hours later, everyone is packed and ready to go - you’ve planned this little getaway for almost two months now, everyone having finished their first round of exams at this time of year and being able to just relax for a bit. For some reason, the boys had wanted to go camping, and as you, Jisung’s girlfriend Lina and Hyunjin’s girlfriend Marie were clearly outnumbered by the boys, you hadn’t really had the chance to disagree with them. But you honestly don’t even mind, having gone camping lots of times already and just being happy to enjoy some time with your closest friends. Only Changbin won’t be able to join you guys, as he’s currently doing an internship and wasn’t able to request some time off.

Chan is just about to lock the front door to the frat house, when Jeongin zooms past you, yelling for his older roommate to wait. “I forgot something extremely important!”, he explains, almost breathless, and disappears into the house again. “What’s he getting now?”, your boyfriend wonders, and shoots you a questioning gaze. You just shrug, and let your bag fall to the ground, too lazy to hold onto it while waiting for the youngest of your group. A few minutes later, Jeongin comes back, a huge grin on his face and a giant stuffed animal in his arms. Chan blinks a few times, and opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off by the younger boy: “You guys can cuddle with each other, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than cuddle with Minho, Felix or Seungmin, whoever I’ll end up sharing a tent with. But I do wanna cuddle with someone, so Mr. Sunshine it is.”, he explains stoically, and you just nod in support. “I totally get that, plus I wouldn’t be too sure that Minho doesn’t just turn into a bat or something like that during the night. He’s at least part demon, we all know that.”, you say, and Jeongin giggles.

You’re truly prepared to give him anything whenever he smiles at you like this, his eyes almost disappearing, teeth almost blindingly bright. While you detain from squishing his cheeks, you do poke the dimple on his left one, being too endeared by him. He swats your hand away, of course he does, but you still bask in the victory of having poked his cheek. One thing to cross off your to-do-list for today.

“Okay, let’s go to the others.”, Chan finally says after locking the house, and without you having to say anything, he takes his and your bag and walks over to where the others are waiting beside the cars. Chivalry is not dead and you’re ready to swoon over your amazing boyfriend. “Okay, we still have to pick up Jisung, Lina and Marie.”, Chan says after he’s put your bags into the trunk of his car, “So, who’s gonna ride in which car?” “Well I obviously want to ride with Marie.”, Hyunjin says, a goofy smile on his face - they have been together for almost a year now, but he’s still very much extremely whipped for her, but luckily, she seems to feel the exact same way -, and Minho murmurs a sarcastic “Shocking, really.” under his breath. “I want Jisung and Lina in our car.”, you quickly say, and Chan gives you a short nod. Of course you’d say that - Jisung is your best friend after all, and you’ve grown quite close to Lina as well. You’re also good friends with Marie, but Jisung just wins this round - not that you’d ever tell that to his face, he’s too cocky as it is, no need to push his ego even more. “Then Minho, you take Hyunjin, Marie, Felix and Seungmin, and I take Y/N, Jisung, Lina and Jeongin, okay?”, Chan suggests, and everyone agrees. Five minutes later, all the bags are safely stored away and everyone has taken their seats. Being Chan’s girlfriend means you get to ride shotgun, something you’re more than thankful for, knowing how crowded the backseat is going to be once you’ve picked up Jisung and Lina. “See you in a bit!”, Felix yells through his open window, and flashes you his extremely cute gummy smile. You wave at him, immediately returning his smile, and successfully ignore Minho’s mock salute and cocky grin while he backs out of his parking spot, almost cutting Chan off.

Twenty minutes later, Jisung and Lina are squished into the backseat with Jeongin, all three having bright smiles on their faces. “Road trip, whoop!”, Jisung yells and gives you a high five, “Happy to have a few days with y’all before we have to face the sad reality of probably having failed most of our exams!” Lina beside him rolls her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, I’m sure most of us will have aced everything.”, she says, and Jisung wraps his arm around her and kisses her temple. “Sorry, but I have literally only one functioning brain cell and I use it to overthink.”, he explains, yelping when she playfully tickles his side. You chuckle at their bickering, and hit play on your road trip playlist - a second later, Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody fills the car, all of you immediately beginning to sing along. “LET’S GO!”, Chan yells over the sad attempts of everyone trying to imitate Freddy Mercury, and backs out of the parking lot. You smile and interlace your fingers with his. He cheekily returns your smile, and raises your intertwined hands to his lips to press a soft kiss against your knuckles. Over a year of being with him, but you still swoon over this simple yet sweet gesture. Yes, you’re just that whipped for your boyfriend, and what about it.

It doesn’t take long for you guys to arrive on the interstate, you and Jisung trying to trump each other's impressions of Beyoncé singing Single Ladies (and failing miserably, sorry Queen B). Your belly almost hurts from laughing with your friends, and you can’t wait for the rest of the weekend to begin.

Minho’s car arrives before Chan’s, and of course he’s gloating about it the second you guys join forces again. But you can let him have this small victory, and decide to just ignore him for now, helping Chan get the bags out of his car and to the campsite. It’s quite cold, the air crisp now that the sun is slowly beginning to set again, but you brought lots of blankets and sleeping bags, so you should be fine. And at least the weather means there aren’t any other campers here right now, so you have the whole area, including the washing rooms, to yourselves, which is nice.

Setting up camp takes longer than anticipated, mostly because Jisung somehow manages to crash into his and Lina’s almost finished tent twice, which means they have to start from the very beginning again. She truly has the patience of a saint, simply smacking him over the head rather playfully before picking up the sad remains of their tent to begin the whole building process again. Chan and you, having gone camping lots of times already, are quickest with finishing your tent, so afterwards you offer to help Jisung and Lina with theirs, while Chan does the same for Minho and Jeongin. Marie, an experienced scout, has set up hers and Hyunjin’s tent in record time as well, and takes pity on Felix and Seungmin, quickly building the tent for them. After an hour, your camp has successfully been built, and everyone begins to search for firewood.

Felix decides to make a giant pot of spicy chili sin carne for tonight’s dinner, and as soon as all the plates are filled, your conversations slowly dwindle down, everyone too busy with eating. “Lix, you’re a cooking genius, Gordon Ramsey found jobless.”, Marie says around a mouthful of chili, giving the blonde boy a bright smile and the thumbs up. He waves her compliment aside, blushing profoundly. “Thanks, but it’s honestly not that difficult - you just have to follow the recipe, if you’re too scared to improvise.”, he murmurs, and she throws a small piece of kindling at him. “You should really learn how to take compliments.”, she teases playfully, and he shrugs. “Okay, okay, I’m the best cook ever.”, he says sarcastically, and Minho raises one eyebrow. “Whoa, now don’t get ahead of yourself.”, he replies, and Felix smacks him over the head. “You can’t cook at all, so for once, you should just stay quiet.”, you say, and Minho sighs dramatically. “What can I say… We all have our weaknesses. I, for example, am extremely good-looking and tragically funny.”

You almost choke on your chili because of his audacity, and lift your fork in front of your face, staring through it and at Minho, who just frowns at you. “What are you doing? Why are you looking at me through your fork?”, he asks, obviously confused by your behavior, and you give him a lopsided smile. “I’m pretending you’re in jail, it’s spiritually healing.”, you explain, and Chan beside you bursts into laughter, the others following him quickly. Minho begins to pout and sticks out his tongue at you, always the mature one. “It’s okay if you don’t enjoy my dashing looks and hilarious humor, not everyone has good taste. That’s why you picked Chan over me after all.”, he claims, and you answer by throwing a piece of wood his way, making him squeal and dive for cover. Just then, the flames of your fire flicker and slowly begin to die down. Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin stand up to go get some more firewood, but somehow, the latter one’s shoe gets caught between two logs and with a loud yelp, he tumbles to the ground. “What the Hell is he doing?!”, Chan groans, and Jeongin deadpans “Sadly his best.”, before he begins walking over towards his friend to help him, but Marie is faster, already dragging her boyfriend up from the ground with tears of laughter in her eyes. Hyunjin’s cheeks are red from embarrassment and he murmurs something about nature being out to get him, before he, Marie and the other two boys disappear into the forest to get more firewood.

The rest of the evening is filled with playful banter, soft guitar music from Jisung, and funny childhood stories. Lina soon begins to nod off, her head resting on her boyfriend’s shoulder while he continues to strum a soft tune on his guitar, humming along. When he notices his girlfriend is about to wander into Morpheus’ realm though, he’s quick to place the guitar back into its bag, and wraps both arms around her. “I think it’s time for us to retire, huh?”, he says, leaving a gentle kiss on Lina’s forehead. She blinks sleepily, and smiles up at him. “It’s pretty safe to assume that at any given moment, I want to go back to sleep - so yes, I agree, time to retire.”, she answers, and Jisung chuckles, before standing up to declare: “Well, we’re off to bed now!” Minho and Seungmin boo immediately, while Jeongin murmurs something like “Old people” under his breath - even though he’s literally only one year younger than most of you guys.

“So, as I’m legally required to kiss my homies goodnight, y’all getting some smooches!”, Jisung says, already walking towards where Hyunjin and Marie are sitting, bodies entangled and breaths mingling. Hyunjin looks up and shoots his friend a murderous look. “I swear, if you kiss me, I’m going to dump you into the river.”, he threatens, but Jisung just grins. “How about you dump your girlfriend instead and run away with me? We’d make such a pretty couple.”, he says, making Hyunjin roll his eyes. “Bro, no offense, but I’d be the pretty one in this relationship, and while everyone can clearly see you already have quite the experience being the ugly one in a relationship” with that, Hyunjin first points at Jisung and then at Lina, who bursts out laughing, “I don’t think I’m ready to hear your constant whining about my face being prettier than yours. So thanks, but no thanks, I’ll stay with Marie.” “Wow, I feel so honored and loved right now, babe.”, Marie says sarcastically, “But does this mean you think you’re the pretty one in this relationship as well?” Hyunjin goes into instant panic mode, quickly reassuring his girlfriend that she’s far prettier than him, while she tries to keep a stern expression on her face, but everyone can clearly see the way her lips twitch. She just loves teasing Hyunjin, and you honestly can’t blame her for that, especially not when it’s just so easy.

“Okay, goodnight, then!”, Lina interrupts their playful bickering, and gives everyone a soft smile, before dragging Jisung towards their tent. Everyone wishes them a good night and sweet dreams as well, and then Seungmin clears his throat. “Time for some ghost stories, don’t you think?”, he says, voice low and grin almost evil when his eyes find Hyunjin, who immediately falls silent. Everyone knows he’s a huge scaredy cat, which is quite funny seeing as his own girlfriend is a big fan of horror movies and stories. Truly a match made in Heaven. Seungmin just raises one eyebrow, expression challenging - but when no one contradicts him, he begins to tell his first ghost story.

It doesn’t take long until Hyunjin is pretty much sitting on Marie’s lap, shooting daggers at his friend while his girlfriend is trying very hard not to laugh at him. You yourself cuddle closer to your own boyfriend, smiling when he presses a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes rest on the big bonfire, following some sparks drifting into the dark night sky from time to time, and you sigh contently. This, right here, is your happy place - in the midst of your friends, just laughing and joking with them, not a care in the world. Midterms lie behind you, and you’re currently not even thinking about your grades for once, your anxiety at rest. This trip was truly a great idea, maybe even Jisung’s best one so far.

“Okay, wanna hear a really creepy one-”, Seungmin begins, and Hyunjin has finally had enough, standing up and taking Marie’s hand into his. “Well, goodnight!”, he says, a determined expression on his face, and pulls his girlfriend towards their tent. Marie suppresses an amused smile at her boyfriend’s dramatics, and waves at everyone, before following him inside the tent. Seungmin just grins evilly and shrugs. “He’s so soft hearted.”, he then says, and leans back, obviously content with his work. “Okay, maybe it’s three demons, not only two.”, you murmur into Chan’s ear, and he chuckles. You’re always joking about Minho and Hyunjin being demons, as they’re constantly testing your nerves by just being themselves, plus they were definitely the main plotters behind the plan to get you and Chan together - not that you’re complaining about it as their plan had worked pretty perfectly and in your favor. “In the end you’ll probably find that I live with six demons.”, your boyfriend murmurs, and begins to play with your fingers. You shake your head. “Oh no, Felix is definitely an angel, not a demon.”, you disagree, and Chan nods. “Okay, that’s true. The others though… Well, time will tell, I guess.” “Or holy water.” He just laughs and gives you a quick peck on the lips. When you want to deepen the kiss, he draws back. “Later.”, he murmurs against your lips, his deep voice rumbling in his chest, and you shiver involuntarily. He grins at your reaction, before turning his attention to Seungmin’s new ghost story again.

You on the other hand feel hot and bothered all of the sudden, and decide to tease your boyfriend a bit. So you place your hand on his thigh, not moving it for some time, until you slowly slide it higher, bit by bit. At first, Chan doesn’t seem to notice or care, until you’re getting dangerously close to his crotch. Then, he quickly leans forward so the others can’t see what you’re doing, and glares at you. “What are you doing?”, he asks, voice low, and you smile innocently. “Nothing.”, you answer, and have finally reached your desired destination, slowly beginning to palm his semi over his jeans. “How about you be a good girl and stop?”, he breathes out, but you know he doesn’t actually want you to stop - you know him well enough for that by now. Still, you decide to play along. “Oh, I’ll gladly be your good girl.”, you whisper, and quickly withdraw your hand. He groans at your words and the sudden lack of contact, and locks eyes with you. “Tent. Now.”, he grits out, and stands up, pulling you with him and hugging you from behind so your body hides his erection from the others. “We’re tired too, so goodnight!”, he says in a fake cheerful voice, and you have to hide your shit-eating grin while innocently waving at the others. “Oh you’re in so much trouble now, babe.”, Chan murmurs into your ear while you walk towards your tent, and bites down on your lobe. You feel arousal gather between your legs, stomach jolting at his words. You and Chan have a very playful relationship, full of bantering and loving jokes, and your dynamic in the bedroom isn’t that different - there’s a lot of bickering too, you being a total brat at times, while he’s more on the dominant side, enjoying making you obedient.

As soon as he closes the tent behind you and turns around to watch you with an almost predatory gaze, you know you might have been a bit too forward at the bonfire. But it’s too late to back down now, so you simply raise both eyebrows, a challenging expression on your face. “So you think touching me like that in front of our friends is okay?”, Chan asks, his voice low and dark. You tilt your head to one side. “I mean, you didn’t seem opposed to it, to be honest.”, you answer, and now he’s the one to lift both eyebrows. “I want you out of your clothes, now.”, your boyfriend orders, and for once, you follow his command immediately, knowing this is for your own good this time. So you quickly wiggle out of your jeans and take off your jumper, shivering in the cold night air. Only left in your panties and bra, Chan smirks to himself, before crawling over your body and beginning to kiss you slowly. You gasp into his mouth when one of his warm hands finds your waist, drawing lazy circles against it, before traveling higher to cup your breast over your bra. His thumb rubs over your clothed nipple before pinching it, hard, and you arch your back, breath hitching.

“So, let’s see how quiet you can stay while I eat you out, hm? Remember, the walls of the tent are too thin to mask any noises.”, Chan whispers against your lips, before he suddenly descends down your body. Oh no, you know you’re screwed. He’ll try to make you scream his name, but while you’re quite open about sex and have no problem talking about it with your friends, you definitely don’t need them to hear you during the actual act. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased your boyfriend after all - but it’s too late now, he’s determined. He spreads your legs, and begins to leave soft love bites on the inside of your thighs. You’re trembling already, and it’s not because of the cold alone. Chan always has this effect on you, no matter how often he touches you - you’ll never get used to it. He plays with the hem of your panties, until he finally drags them down your legs, his warm breath hitting your wet core. You begin to squirm, impatient to have him finally touch you where you need him most. He smacks your thigh, the crack resounding through the tent, and you yelp. “Chan.”, you hiss, and he grins cheekily, before suddenly pressing his thumb to your clit, beginning to draw lazy circles against it. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you clamp one hand over your mouth to mask any noises.

Chan soon replaces his thumb with his mouth, sucking on your clit like his life depends on it while simultaneously sliding two fingers inside your heat. A loud moan tears from your lips and you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to stifle your noises but already failing miserably. You feel Chan smirk against you, and then, he slips a third finger inside you, curling them upwards and picking up the pace. You buck your hips against his gentle ministrations, skin feeling too hot and too tight already, goosebumps rising all over your body. It doesn’t take long until you begin to tremble, your high approaching rather quickly, and you’re this close to finally snapping, when Chan draws back from your core, face glistening with your juices, his smirk almost devilish. “I can’t hear you, babe, are you even enjoying this?”, he murmurs, back to drawing lazy patterns on your clit with his thumb. You feel frustration wash over you, and shoot him a dark glare. His grin gets even wider, before he completely withdraws his hand from your heat to suck on his glistening fingers. You close your eyes for a few seconds, trying to gather your wits, until Chan slaps your thigh again. “Look at me, baby.”, he says, voice dark, and your eyes snap open again. You begin to pout. “Please.”, you mumble, trying your best to appeal to his softer side, “I’m sorry I was a brat earlier. You know I can’t be loud or the others might hear us.” Your boyfriend just hums, hands ghosting over your thighs and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Too bad, I guess you can’t cum tonight then.” And before you’re able to reply anything, he dives back in-between your folds.

You throw one arm over your mouth, and bite your own soft flesh to suppress any noises. It takes little to no time until you’re close to your orgasm again, but for the second time tonight, Chan draws back in the last possible second. You’re almost ready to cry with frustration now, eyes glistening with unshed tears. When your boyfriend sees this, he softens a bit and leans towards you to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “This is what you get for being a brat.”, he murmurs, and you bite down on his lower lip, making him groan into your mouth. “Please.”, you whisper and try your best puppy eyes on him. He just smirks again, finally ridding himself off his shirt, jeans and underwear. When he’s fully naked in front of you, you sigh, eyes raking his beautiful, defined body. Unlike you, Chan actually enjoys going to the gym - and his effort pays off. “Stop drooling.”, he says, sounding way too pleased and cocky in your opinion. So you quickly sit up, and wrap one hand around his hard cock, already leaking with pre-cum. Good to see you’re not the only one being affected by this, you think and grin. You begin to slowly jerk him off, spreading the pre-cum over the rest of his cock as lube. He groans, lower lip pulled back between his teeth and eyes almost black with desire. Finally, he’s had enough, and pushes you on your back again, hovering over you. “There’s condoms in the bag behind you.”, he murmurs, leaving gentle kisses on your neck until he finds your sweet spot, beginning to suck on it. You moan almost inaudible, fingers fumbling for said bag to retrieve a condom.

Just seconds later, Chan rolls it over his cock, and then, he aligns himself in front of your wet core, teasingly rubbing your clit before you shoot him a pleading look. He finally sheathes himself into you with one swift motion, and you both moan out loud at the feeling. You quickly cough to cover the noise, making Chan chuckle and press a kiss against your forehead. “You’re okay?”, he asks, and you nod, biting down on his neck and leaving a hickey. He groans and finally begins to move, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into you, immediately hitting that spot. Your fingers wrap around his biceps, needing something to hold onto while he drills into you. Suddenly, he pulls out of you to sit back on his knees, wrapping your legs around his hips, and thrusts back into you at an even deeper angle, simultaneously picking up the pace. One of his hands snakes towards your neck and he wraps his fingers around the base of your throat, using just enough pressure to make breathing harder for you. When his thumb begins to circle your clit again, you close your eyes, clamping one hand over your mouth to mask your almost obscene noises.

“C-Chan, I’m so c-close.”, you say in between two moans, and he grins, murmuring a “That’s my girl” under his breath before deepening the angle even more. He suddenly pinches your clit once, and that’s all it takes for you to finally tumble over the edge, his name leaving your lips maybe a bit too loud this time. He quickly leans forward to seal your mouth with his, chasing his own high while guiding you through yours. Not long after, he groans and presses his forehead against yours, shuddering a bit while releasing into the condom. He stills inside you, both your breaths mingling, hearts beating fast while you try to come down from your high. Chan smiles, brushing some of your hair out of your face, and gives you a soft, sweet kiss. “I love you.”, he murmurs, and you return his smile. “Love you more.”, you whisper back, and he chuckles. “Impossible.”

Before you can begin to playfully argue, Minho’s voice cuts through the night “Next time we’ll build the tents far away from each other, y’all are nasty for doing it with us sitting almost right next you.” Both you and Chan freeze, before you burst out laughing. “WE HAVE ZERO REGRETS.”, you yell back, hearing the others groan. “WELL, YOU REALLY SHOULD THOUGH!”, Jisung complains from somewhere to your left, and you hear Lina starting to giggle. You groan and bury your face into Chan’s neck. “They’ll never let us hear the end of this, will they.”, you murmur against his soft skin, and he shakes his head. “Nope.” You sigh and lean back. “Well, it was still worth it.”, you say, and grin up at him. Your boyfriend just smirks and leans down to kiss you again. “Oh, definitely.”

[masterlist] | [requests]

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lightsinthedistancee · 4 years ago

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Darkness : Poe Dameron x Reader

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Words: 1.4k

Excerpt: “Darkness is a time of peace for you. A time to crawl into soft sheets, to curl up against your pilot. Some nights, to feel him lazily press a soft kiss to your forehead before his breath levels out in sleep. Others, to feel his hands roaming your body, feel him inside you.”

Summary: A short talk to Poe is always enough to cure a case of loneliness.

Warnings: Some sexual references

A/N: This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog Writer Wednesday. I actually originally meant for this to be a perhaps 500 word-ish Drabble but it ended up way longer obviously. But I’m really proud of it and love the concept of Writer Wednesday, so hope you guys enjoy! (Also, we’re just gonna pretend that phones and phone booths exist in the Star Wars universe...).

You’ve always found something lovely in darkness.

It’s simple, quiet, a constant that never changes, that rolls around at roughly the same time each night. Settles over cities and towns and every being in the galaxy in a thin blanket. Darkens faces into comforting anonymity, conceals the activities of lovers, provides peace in slumber for the weary.

There is a saying: One should not be afraid of the dark, but of what lies in it.

And after years of life, years of travel, years of experiencing the galaxy, you know that nothing sinister hides beneath darkness. No monsters, no demons, no ghosts. It is something that simply exists with no ulterior motive, something that is debatably hard to come by these days.

Darkness is a time of peace for you. A time to crawl into soft sheets, to curl up against your pilot. Some nights, to feel him lazily press a soft kiss to your forehead before his breath levels out in sleep. Others, to feel his hands roaming your body, feel him inside you.

In those times, darkness is there, still a constant. Hiding his features, hiding those eyes you adore during the daytime, allowing you to become entirely tactile, to simply feel him to the fullest, void of the distraction one’s most used method of perception, sight, provides.

Yet tonight is a rare night. Your feet hit pavement as you walk quickly, hands in your coat, head bent towards the ground. You’ve been on this Outer Rim planet for nearly two months, gathering intelligence undercover, maintaining little to no contact with the Resistance, and therefore, Poe.

The darkness seems stronger than ever tonight. It slithers up and down the sides of buildings, seems to wrap around you in strings. In this moment, it is not simply a cover—it is suffocating.

The loneliness had been getting to you. Too many days going by a name that is not your own, too many days living in constant fear, too many days away from the touch of someone that’s always able to take your mind off of everything.

And that’s exactly what you need right now. A distraction. A brief moment to bind you back to everything you know, something you are slowly, imperceptibly slipping away from in your mind. The buildings seem to tower over you, to dwarf you. It’s an intimidation act, and you feel it’s working.

It feels as if you can sink into the asphalt, become one with the soil that had been so cruelly compressed by man-made rock. As if you can sink beneath and become one with the dead, the figurative and the literal that had most likely been so barbarously worked to death to build this historic city in the dark days of the galaxy.

You round a bend, turning onto the main street, and your eyes, adjusted to the dark, flare painfully as light hits you. You snap them shut on instinct, flinching. However, the object of your discomfort is not an unknown. This route had been walked by you every day the last two months, and the light is the same phone booth you’d been using to transmit information back to the Resistance due to the anonymous, unmonitored, and therefore, rare quality of it.

It is hardly used anymore, for everyone has their own personal holos, and this one is particularly beat up. It’s translucent walls are cloudy, it’s metal backing dented. Nowadays, it is probable that is it only frequented by drunks and Spice addicts and, well…you.

There is something ironic about the fact that this small, dilapidated booth is your only connection back to D’Qar.

But not ironically, perhaps in a poetically symbolic manner, it also shines bright in the darkness, eradicates the very thing that had been suffocating you moments earlier. It is almost a physical embodiment of hope.

It is also a universal rule that hope births more hope, and an unwise desire comes over you. One that could put the whole operation at risk. But resisting the temptation, it hurts. It’s agonizing, and you want to give in to it. You want to hear one voice. One voice that can wrap you in softness, encourage your imagination to conjure up the sensation of his touch.

And before you know it, you’re in the booth, dialing a long string of numbers you’ve memorized by now. A voice of a communications officer sounds.

You state your name.

“Security code?” the officer asks.

“Six nine eight oh seven three.”

Your eyes nervously glance around. Despite having done this a few times, the experience still makes your heart race. You can only hope that any observer would see only an ordinary lone figure, silhouetted in the light, making an emergency call to a friend because she drank too much or got her wallet stolen.

“You got information?”

“No,” you respond, letting out a soft breath and lying through your teeth. “I need you to transfer me to Commander Dameron. I have a hunch regarding something naval, and I need his opinion.”

You silently chide yourself at your quickness to over explain.

But luckily, the communication officer says nothing. “Transferring now,” he says.

You thank him, leaning against the inner wall of the booth, hovering the phone directly next to your ear. Moments of silence pass before a voice breaks it.

“Hello?” says Poe.

Every point of tension in you seemed to relax in a moment as your eyes slowly close. The timbre of his voice washes over you, through you. “Hey,” you whisper.

“Sweetheart?” He sounds confused. Above all, tired.

“Did I wake you?” you ask, feeling bad all of a sudden. The high that had been coursing through your veins moments earlier plunges back to the ground. The intensity with which you feel it is irrational, yet nothing in you mind is steady.

“Yeah, but that’s okay,” he replies, a slight urgency to his voice. “Is something wrong?”

You picture him in your shared bed back on D’Qar, shirt off like usual. Propped up on one elbow, sheets falling to his waist, holo to his ear, concern on his features. Concern at his love calling him in the middle of the night, her voice shaking.

“Nothing’s wrong…I just…I….” Your voice trails off, and a silence a bit too long elapses.

“Baby?” he asks.

Your breath trembles slightly as you let it out. “This was a mistake,” you mumble. “I’m sorry, just—“

He interjects at the tone of finality in your voice. “Hey…don’t go, sweetheart.” You hear him shift, perhaps sitting up. “Just talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I miss you,” you blurt out. You’d meant to say it more eloquently, less directly, but that’s not something you have the energy for right now. “I miss everyone back on D’Qar. This assignment…it’s the most least contact with base I’ve ever had, and—why am I even telling you that? You know that.” You let out a frustrated breath, gathering your thoughts. He patiently waits, something you’re grateful for. “I’m just…having a hard time. That’s all.”

His energy transmits well through the phone. He’s thinking, the gears in his mind turning. You can feel the helplessness, for there is undeniably little he can do. “I miss you, too,” he finally says. “It’s a few more weeks, baby. I know you’ve got it in you…”

It’s a simple sentence, yet nearly reinvigorating in a way. Nothing that immediately lifts your mood, but perhaps something that briefly abates the hollow feeling within you.

“I’ll be there the moment you’re back.” His tone is soft, a little raspy with tiredness, slightly reminiscent of the way he tells you how much he loves and how amazing you are in a post-sex haze of exhaustion. It’s an odd relation, but the sense of peace that both tones hold is something you always cling to. “I’ll be there to kiss you. To hold you.” He pauses. “To take you to bed….”

The way his voice, on the last statement, walks the line between humorous and genuinely seductive makes you laugh quietly. It’s neither a common nor desirable combination.

“There’s that beautiful laugh,” he says softly, letting out a breath, returning to his previous demeanor. “I’ll be there, baby. I know you know that.”

You nod even though he can’t see you. Air brushes past your lips as your eyes flutter shut. “I know.”

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Taglist (for everything): @dark-academics-and-florals @theultimateslashgirl

Taglist (for Poe): @synical-paradox @spider-starry @paper-n-ashes

If you wish to be tagged on any of my future works, just let me know or do the form on my Masterlist if that’s easier!

Based on this Writer Wednesday pic:

#Writer Wednesday #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #star wars #star wars fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction

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uwuwriting · 4 years ago

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Koala Girlfriend w/ Akaashi, Kuroo, Kita and Ushijima

Request: Can I request Akaashi, Kuroo, Kita and Ushijima with a girlfriend who loves to cling to them like a koala while they are doing things around the house?

A personal favorite, even though I don’t have a s/o if I had one this would be my go to cuddling position. Sorry for not posting the last couple of days I just wasn’t feeling very well and I didn’t have motivation. Hope you like it. Love ya 💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warnings: fluff.

Akaashi Keiji

-Oof pretty boy comin through.

-This man, this godly man, oof.

-He is usually very tired and loves recharging with some cuddles.

-He would love it if he could just stay wrapped around you for the rest of eternity but alas his editor duties sadly call him and he has to get up at some point.

-You always felt iffy disturbing him while he worked so only when you were very touch starved you would give him a small peck as you passed by his desk.

-But lately you felt so needy and clingy with him, wanting to sit on his lap 24/7, no sexual intentions whatsoever.

-So you just wordlessly pushed his chair back and took your seat in his lap, arms wrapped around his neck and legs hanging loosely around his waist.

-He didn’t even question it, he kissed you on the forehead before resting a hand on your waist and going back to work letting you doze off on his shoulder.

-When he wanted to get up though he contemplated whether or not he should let you go, temporarily of course.

-He decides against it, nudging you lightly with his chin and whispering you to hang on as he got up and went to the kitchen, fixing you both cups of hot cocoa and caring them back to his study.

-It became a routine after that.

-No matter what he was doing, if he wanted to cuddle you he would.

-You never complained of course, nuzzling into his chest as he relaxed in his chair, giving him kisses as a sign of gratitude every now and again.

-Boy really wouldn’t even ask you before picking you up.

-If he knew you weren’t busy he would just come up to you and grab your hands, bringing them around his shoulders while you wrapped your legs around his waist knowing exactly what he was asking for.

-Sometimes he would ask you to move to his back, especially when he was doing something that wanted his undivided attention.

-That happened when he wanted to cook or cut something and baby didn’t want to accidentally hurt you.

-This cuddly habit rarely turned sexual, like 1/20 of the time.

-He liked the warmth and the familiarity that your cuddles provided and he would prefer to fall asleep rather than get frisky.

-Bokuto caught you two once and he couldn’t wait to ask his s/o if they could do it with him.

-He came crashing through your door, taking advantage of the spare key he had, after one failed practice game.

-Since his s/o was out of town, he needed someone to get him out of his emo mode.

-He came face to face with an Akaashi and a koala you, getting a glass of water from the kitchen, both of you caught like deer in headlights at his sudden intrusion.

-He wouldn’t shut up about it for months after that.

Kuroo Tetsuro

-This little shit.

-He is very affectionate with you.

-He treasures you, words cannot describe how much love he has for you.

-But he is a tease so when you try to initiate things he will get that stupid smirk on his face saying how can’t resist him.

-This always leads to you staring at him with a dead expression before getting up and leaving the room, making him run after you.

-You are not mad of course.

-He knows though when you really need him, when you really need cuddles and comfort so when times like that roll around he won’t say anything to you.

-He’ll just sit back and hold you close to him, running his palms up and down your sides, kissing the crown of your head every few minutes.

-He found out about your koala nature when he got up with you in his arms during one of those times.

-You immediately hugged him closer and nuzzled your face in his neck while he made a snack for the both of you.

- “You like that don’t you?”

-You just left a kiss on the column of his neck and went back to nuzzling your boyfriend.

-He let out a chuckle and he knew that this would become daily because he too loved it.

-Things will turn sexual most of the time.

-He knows when to not initiate anything like that while you clung to him so don’t worry my mans has restraint.

-If he’s not sure if you wanna do the do or not he will kiss you on the spot right under your ear and that will determine the outcome of the night *lmao*.

-He is the one who will ask you to wrap around him while he does some house work.

-You will be chillin in your room scrolling through your phone when he will storm into the room and spread his arms wide open saying a single “up”.

-Before you know it you are in his arms, your phone still in hand as one of his arms has circled your waist supporting you.

-He is muscular so he won’t ever get tired of having you in his arms.

-He answers video calls with the team, he will be in a zoom meeting with you still in his arm and will open the door to the delivery guy to pay him with you still wrapped around him like a sweater.

-Even falls asleep with you like that, back pressed against the couch, his head resting on his shoulder as he dozes off, feeling the safest he has ever felt.

-Yall can see how much those news I got from tik tok have affected me, like shit.

-Kenma says that it’s disgusting but he does it with his s/o in secret so he be LYIN.

-His s/o let it slip at some point and Kuroo has been rubbing salt on the wound ever since, RIP Kenma.

Kita Shinsuke

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

-THE LATEST EPISODE OF HIM CRYING GHOQHROD.

-Anyways.

-Baby is respectful.

-Above all he wants for you to be comfortable and relaxed so even if he really really wants to cuddle you he will wait for confirmation.

-So don’t expect anything like the other two idiots.

-He won’t just pick you up and go about his day, no no.

-Kita will ask for a hug, he will ask if he can hold you no matter how weak or worn down he feels.

-He doesn’t want to burden you with his worries so when days get hard he will ask you for some comfort but you have to sense it for yourself so you can cuddle him more.

-He likes having control over his life and when things pile up on him and he feels like drowning he thinks that he shouldn’t worry you with it.

-You can feel it though.

-His aura changes and he has that little wrinkle in between his eyebrows.

-So you will slowly wrap your arms around his waist and squeez, trying to pass on to him all of your love and reassurance you think he might need.

-You start your koala acts when you two were in bed and you didn’t want to get up because it was just so warm and comfortable.

-Who would want to get up?

- “Y/N, angel, I need to get up.”

- “But you are warm Shin….”

-So he just sighs and wraps his arms around your waist.

- “Hold tight then.”

-With the ease of a greek god, he stood up with you in his arms and went to make breakfast.

-You giggled all the time, hugging him tighter and leaving multiple kisses on his neck, cheeks and shoulder, making him let out a few chuckles.

-You might have exchanged some more passionate kisses as he made breakfast and I don’t blame you, he is irresistible.

- “Shin, I know that things get hard for you sometimes and I want to be there for you at every turn. So please don’t hesitate to ask for comfort or ask anything from me in general. I love you and if hanging onto you like a baby koala means I’ll get to see that smile on your face then so be it. I like it here.”

-He was left speechless after that.

-He followed your advice after that day, coming home in a bad move and just asking for koala time.

-His grandma caught you two once and she squealed so high you thought she pierced your eardrums.

-She was beyond happy for her little boy, seeing him so loved and appreciated warmed her heart.

- “Young love warms my old bones.”

-It’s all chuckles and giggles and lovestruck looks after that.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

-Big boy hours.

-He is tall and muscular so how could you NOT want to climb this tree.

-He doesn’t get your infatuation with his height and muscles and your impulse of wanting to climb on him but he will allow it.

-Because you are cute and he loves you and he would do anything to make you giggle and smile like a five year old.

-He will be standing in the kitchen making coffee or something when you sneak attack him from behind.

-You cling to his back, your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders and legs around his waist as you try to balance yourself on his back.

- “Good morning to you too darling.”

- “Mhm”

-He will continue with his morning routine as usual, moving you from his back to his chest and sitting on the living room couch, opening the TV and chillin for about an hour.

-When he has to go out for his daily run you have to let go of him although begrudgingly.

- “Don’t pout, Y/N darling.”

-You do though and he has to kiss the pout off your face.

-He likes picking you up on his own, without having to wait for one of your attacks.

-He most likely just came home from training and he is tired, he’ll immediately pick you up and take you into the shower with him, having a lovely bubble bath with you.

-He is silent most of the time but he likes humming your favorite songs while he has you in his arms.

-He knows it calms both of you so of course he will do it.

-Tendou loves teasing him about this cute coupley(?) habit you two have.

-He visited you one day and Ushijima was just standing in your living room with you wrapped around his torso while he watched a match.

- “Wakatoshi-kun I didn’t know you got a pet.”

-Tori is a little shit so of course he would call you that, what else did you expect?

- “That’s Y/N. Satori-kun.”

-Clowned you to your old friends from school by taking a pic and just sending it to everyone and their mothers.

-Semi photoshopped it and put Santa hats on your heads and sent it to you as a christmas card.

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @storage11037 @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses @threeamwriting @letscheereachotheron @ezoyscorner

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wa-royal-tea · 4 years ago

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(Transcript under the cut - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

5 Lily Valley, Ahtolia (4:00pm)

Evangeline: Darien.

Darien: Hmm...

Evangeline: Darien!

Darien: What do you want?

Evangeline: How long are you going to be like this?

Darien: Just leave me alone, Eve.

Evangeline: If I could, I would. But you’ve been here for a month. You rarely eat and sleep. You won’t tell me why Sofia kicked you out. I’m worried for the both of you.

Darien: She didn’t kick me out. She just...needed some time to think.

Evangeline: Think about what? Come on, Darien. What’s going on with the two of you?

Darien: It’s hard for me to say, Eve. You won’t understand.

Evangeline: Then, make me understand. You’re living in my house. The least you could do is tell me why you're here if you want to stay longer.

Darien: I’m serious, Eve. This thing is...unexpected.

Evangeline: Come on, just tell me. I can take it.

Darien: I...I might have a son, with another woman.

Evangeline: What? How?

Darien: It was a mistake. I-I can’t remember what happened exactly but I saw the boy at Elisha’s birthday party the other day and he…he has the black hair and red eyes. A-and I kid you not, Eve. I literally felt my soul leave my body when I saw him.

Evangeline: How could you do this to her, Darien? I never thought you’d betray Sofia like this! No wonder she kicked you out!

Darien: It wasn’t on purpose, Eve! You think I would ever do that to her? You know how much I love her!

Evangeline: Then how can this kid pop out of nowhere if you haven’t slept with his mom?

Darien: I told you I can’t remember what happened! I was drunk that night a-and something must’ve happened while I was knocked out.

Evangeline: Well maybe you could at least remember who his mother is?

Darien: My secretary told me that she fired the girl after she found her in my room that night and I never saw her again until recently. She told me it was the intern who worked with us for a few months.

Evangeline: Then what are you going to do now? If you don’t remember what happened that night, there’s a chance she took advantage of you. That’s textbook assault, Darien.

Darien: I-I don’t know. I’m scared that if I file any charges against her, it’d ruin the family’s image. And who would believe me? Do you really think anyone would believe a story about a boss who was taken advantage by their employee? They’ll turn the story around and paint me as the villain.

Evangeline: Then? You just want to let it be?

Darien: What choice do I have? If I report it, it’ll go public and I don’t want that to happen. Not when Sofia’s reign hasn’t even reached a decade yet. Her position as Queen is still fragile and I don’t want to risk that.

Evangeline:...

*phone rings*

Darien: Hello? Yes, this is him.

Darien: *stands up* What? Is she okay?

Evangeline: What’s wrong?

Darien: Okay, thank you. I’ll be there as soon as I can.

Evangeline: What’s going on?

Darien: Dira got hurt. I need to get to the hospital now.

St. Angel’s Hospital, Ahtolia (4:20pm)

Darien: Oh...Soph, y-you’re here.

Sofia: Where else would I be?

Darien: I-I thought you were busy.

Sofia: Not busy enough to leave our daughter alone here.

Darien: I...I...

Sofia: *sighs* It’s been a while, Darien.

#ts4 roleplay #ts4 legacy #WRTStory #Sim: Darien #Sim: Evangeline #Sim: Sofia #Story Arc: Crimson Eyes #WRT: Part 3 #ts4 storytelling #ts4 story #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 screenshots #ts4 simblr

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wowitsel · 4 years ago

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dear spencer

Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

(not my GIF)

masterlist

Summary: You find out Spencer had been cheating on you, you write him a letter goodbye. (part two)

WARNINGS: suicide, self-harm, language, cheating

Category: ANGST

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: this pic deals with very serious topics. if you ever feel you need anyone to talk to, or just be there for you, I'm here.

When you woke up in the morning, you smiled when you saw your boyfriend, Spencer, in the bed next to you. Seeing as the two of you both worked at the BAU, having a day off was rare. That’s why it was so strange when Spencer left the house to do “errands”. You were suspicious, rightfully so.

You knew the signs of lying. You were a profiler. You saw how he avoided eye contact when saying “I love you”, and how fidgety he was when saying he was going over to JJ’s.

Every fiber in your body was telling you to say something, but you didn’t.

+++

It was a paperwork day at work, and you were clicking your pen, procrastinating starting the work load, when you saw something. You saw Spencer, texting on his phone.

Dr. Spencer Reid was a technophobe. He never texted anyone, let alone you. So you knew something was up when you saw that.

You, again, felt the urge to say something. But you were so happy with the way things were, why would you want them to change?

+++

About two weeks had passed since that happened, and the team had been on a case, a local one. We were all at the MPD station, working on the case. All of a sudden, Morgan burst out laughing, saying “Ohhhhh pretty boy’s gettin’ some? You and Y/n got it on last night then?.”

“Ummm what?” Spencer replied, looking quite shocked and panicked.

“You got a hickey there Boy Wonder”

Spencer blushed, and then quickly covered it up and said, “Shut up”.

You sat there and said nothing, fully knowing that that hickey was not from you.

+++

One day, about three weeks later, you get a call from Derek, asking if you wanted to go out for lunch.

You accepted the offer, but when you arrived there, you could tell that something was very wrong.

“Hey baby girl. Why don’t you sit down so we can talk.” Derek told you gently.

“Ok”, was all you could say.

“Before I start, I just want you to know that I will always be there for you ok?” He waited till you nodded to resume, “Umm ok so, a couple days ago Spencer came into my office, and he confessed to me what he had done. He told me how he had… been… umm cheating on you. He told me how he met this girl at the coffee shop, and had been sleeping with her for a few months now. He begged me not to tell you and I said I wouldn't but I couldn't not tell you. I just want you to know that I am one hundred percent on your side, and I am so mad at him. I umm stopped talking to him after that…”

You had stopped listening after the words “cheating on you”. Your world turned blue, and cold, and you needed to get out.

“I have to go,” you said to Derek as you ran out of the restaurant, back to your house.

+++

As you opened the front door, you threw your bag on the floor, not caring about the well-being of it. You were sobbing, so many tears were effortlessly flying out of your eyes. You were hyperventilating by the time you got to the staircase. You crawled up the stairs, and went into the bathroom. You twisted the lock closed, just in case anyone tried to get in, then collapsed onto the floor.

Your hot face felt good on the cold tile, but that was the only part of you that felt good.

Your eyes blurred with tears, and your heart sunk down to your stomach. An anxious feeling slowly creeped through your body as it shook, you could taste the saltiness of the tears.

It was so overwhelming. Everything was crashing upon you. The weight of the world was on you, and you felt so helpless.

The bathroom reminded you of Spencer. All the good times you had in there. When he’d wrap his arms around you when you were brushing your teeth, and you’d giggle and say, “Hey! Stop it! I need healthy teeth. Do you not want me to have healthy teeth?”

Reminiscing just seemed to make you cry harder. You thought about how you would never be able to have that again. Not after what he had done. The thought of that made you shudder.

In an attempt to get your mind off of Spencer, you thought about all the other good things in your life, the other things you could live for. But you were hit with the harsh reality, when you couldn’t think of anything. You thought about your parents, who were not the worst parents ever, but never talked to you, or put in any effort. You thought about your brother, he was so mean to you, and never expressed anything that could tell you that he loved you. And lastly you thought about friends, or your lack thereof. Sure, you had a few people who you talked to, every once and awhile, but no one really, to walk with you, and no one who truly cared that much about you.

You desperately tried to think of something to live for. You thought of what Derek had said, “I just want you to know that I will always be there for you ok?”. But your mind shut that down as him just being polite.

You then thought about the rest of the team. You thought that they might care for you. But then the little voice in the back of your head told you that, “No, think about how much longer Spencer has been on the team, they obviously love him more.”

In a far fetched attempt to calm down, you grabbed a glass of water that you had left there. But your hands were shaking so much, that you dropped the glass, and it shattered all over the floor. You picked up a piece of the glass, and you knew what you were going to do.

You knew before you ended your life, you wanted to write a final letter, so very shakaly, you found a pen and paper, and wrote this letter:

Dear Spencer,

I don’t know if I can ever forgive you. You were the person I loved most, the person who brought me the most happiness. But I guess that also gave you the power to hurt me, and damn, did you fucking hurt me.

I still can’t comprehend the fact that Derek was the one who told me. And that you wouldn’t have even told me if he didn’t. If you hadn’t done this, you would still have a best friend, and your girlfriend. But I guess that was your choice.

I wanted to thank you for all the good times we had though. All the times I actually wanted to wake up in the morning because I got to spend time with you, and all the times we would watch the sunset together. We were so happy, or at least I was.

Did I do something wrong, was I a bad girlfriend? Or was I just that bad at fucking that you needed someone better in bed to satisfy your “needs”? Either way, I hope you’re happy now.

You know, when I first met you, I was at rock bottom, and I wanted to leave this world. You gave me something to live for, but now, I’m back where I started.

I can’t do this anymore. The pain is too much. I can’t go into work everyday and see you there. I can’t live knowing that I’m truly alone. I mean I have my parents and friends but none of them truly know me, or even made an effort to do so. I thought you were the one to do that, but I guess I was wrong.

I’m just so tired of this world. I’m so tired of living, of having to do so much everyday. It’s too much for me. I feel so stuck. There’s no way out of this life. I can’t do it anymore.

I guess I just wanted you to know that this is not just because of what you did. What you did was just the trigger. You were the one good thing in my life, but now you’re gone.

You hurt me, but despite that, I still love you. I don’t really know why.

So… I guess this is goodbye Spence.

Maybe we’ll see each other in the afterlife…

I’ll love you forever,

Y/n L/n

When you had finished writing the letter, you folded it, placed it on the counter, and then grabbed a piece of glass.

+++

When Spencer came home that evening, he was totally oblivious to what had happened.

“Hey babe! I’m home! Where are you?” he asked, putting his stuff away.

He first noticed something was wrong when he saw her bag found on the floor, and the residue of tears on the floor.

In a panic, he ran upstairs yelling, “Y/n! Are you ok? Where are you?”.

Due to the nature of their jobs, his mind jumped to all the possibilities of what could have happened, was she kidnapped? Yet he kind of wished she was kidnapped, instead of what he saw.

Spencer saw the bathroom door locked, you never locked the door, and he knew that.

Channeling Morgan, Spencer knocked down the door. The moment he saw you on the floor, tears formed in his eyes, and he screamed out, almost as if he was in pain.

He quickly dropped down to his knees, shaking your body, yelling, “Y/n! Y/n! Please wake up. Please… please… I can’t do this without you.”

He quickly ripped his shirt off, and wrapped it around your wrists, to stop the blood. But before the cuts were wrapped, he saw them, and he knew what had happened.

He warily placed two fingers upon your neck, searching for a pulse. And when he couldn’t find one, he just pressed even harder, desperate to find a heartbeat.

When Spencer didn’t find a pulse, he began to attempt CPR, pressing down on your chest with the little energy he had left. As the minutes passed, it became shockingly apparent that it wasn’t going to work… you were dead.

Choking on the sobs that were threatening to spill out of his mouth, he stood up. How could this have happened? You were so happy. He thought, not knowing that you knew about his affair.

When he went to wash the blood off his hands, he saw your letter on the couture, and began to read it.

Dear Spencer,

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine

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kbstories · 4 years ago

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KRBK drabble

(cw: Mentions of animal death.)

Kirishima and Bakugou are pro heroes and living together when Kirishima's childhood dog Riot dies of old age. He goes peacefully in his sleep, surrounded by his family; Riot's lived a long life and Kirishima knows that they did right by him.

Still, he takes it really hard -- crying every night, barely smiling hard. Bakugou is there for him, feeling pretty useless because this is one of those things that just sucks, and there's nothing to be done that can make it better. He's never had a dog or any pet, really, but Kirishima had Riot and he loved that dog to pieces, and so did Bakugou, a little.

After a few weeks, Kirishima starts to recover. A few months in, and he's back to his usual self if a bit somber at times when he looks at old pics on his phone, or remembers something cute Riot used to do. It's hard, but that's life.

Then, Bakugou asks him to take a day off.

"A day just for us", he says, unusually soft where he's got his nose buried in Kirishima's hair. His hand rubs up and down Kirishima's back, with a gentleness that means all the more with how hard it was for Bakugou to learn it. He never asks for time off work, they're just starting out and invest every available second into their careers.

So this is important, and Kirishima needs the break, even if he doesn't want to admit it to himself now that they're living their dream every day.

(Continued under the cut!)

Their day off comes, and they've barely settled in to watch something -- that wrestling documentary Kirishima's been excited about before the bad news hit, all those months ago -- when Bakugou mutters about taking care of the groceries and gets back up. And, okay, sure, the chores have to be done, and usually it's Bakugou who thinks of them before Kirishima, but... Kirishima can't help be a little bummed out, anyways.

There goes the chance to just relax and do absolutely nothing for a change. Oh well. Pressing pause, Kirishima sits there and waits for Bakugou to come back, letting himself wallow in that ache for a bit even though he shouldn't, he's more than aware of that.

It could've been thirty minutes or an hour later, definitely a while: The familiar jangle of keys sounds, a muffled curse and the noise of Bakugou rattling the lock of their door that tends to get caught on nothing.

"Ei? Can you, uh, come over here for a sec?"

There's nerves in Bakugou's voice, a tension that is rare but still recognizable to Kirishima; they've been partners for a handful of years and best friends for even longer. Self-pity session spontaneously rescheduled, Kirishima practically vaults over the couch to check out what has Bakugou sounding like that, and--

A dog.

That's a dog in Bakugou's arms. A pitbull of some sorts, snow-white with a pink nose and eyes big and scared as they flit around, trying to take in all at once. Despite the shivering, the pitiful whining, the way it looks so small held in Bakugou's bulk -- it's clearly an adult dog.

"Oh", Kirishima breathes.

Bakugou's expression is strikingly similar to the dog's, the nervousness amplified at the sight of whatever face Kirishima is making. Bakugou clears his throat and goes, "Her name's Snowball", like that explains anything.

Kirishima can't process much beyond the fact that there's a dog. Bakugou went out and came back with a dog, and she's clearly been through some stuff but oh, she's so cute.

"I signed some paperwork", Bakugou continues, a statement that's nonetheless unsteady, like the time he demanded for Kirishima to move in with him, and it came out as a question instead. "Took some... dog lessons and stuff. Been keepin' an eye on the shelter for a while, waiting for the right one to come along and there was Snowball."

The dog is held a little higher, more securely against his chest, as if Bakugou wants to make abundantly clear that yes, that's Snowball, and she's... theirs now? Kirishima feels tears sting in his eyes.

"Oh."

Bakugou doesn't notice at first, busy fussing with Snowball, giving her scritches between the ears in that careful way he used to handle Riot as well. Like his hands have the potential to wreck things, and he desperately does not want to wreck this thing.

"The others weren't cool enough, but she is. First thing she did was growl at me all badass and shit, you should've seen her, Ei. She's perfect."

Then he glances over, and the soft adoration hiding in his eyes is replaced by alarm. Yup, Kirishima is definitely crying now.

"Kats", Kirishima starts, because he knows Bakugou, knows he's trying, and that he's stressing out over making mistakes.

"She's not..."

Bakugou swallows, looks to Snowball, back to Kirishima, red eyes intense.

"I know Riot hasn't been gone long. This isn't me trying to replace him, or anything. Ain't fair to him and ain't fair to Snowball, either. S'been on my mind for a while, 'cause you've always said we should get a dog, and I've always said no. But... The thought stuck, I guess. Kept kickin' it around in my head. Our lives are busy as fuck, we're gonna have to push around some shit to make it work, yeah? I want that now. I want to make it work."

The for you goes implied, it doesn't need to be said.

It's rare that Bakugou explains himself like this, his actions shouting what's in his heart louder than any speech ever could. This is important, though, important enough for words, for requesting just enough of Kirishima's time to give him this. It looks like Bakugou has more to say and there will be time for that, too.

Later, after Kirishima has crossed the last of the distance between them, one hand wiping away the tears off his cheeks and the other reached out for Snowball to sniff. The dog does so cautiously, nose twitching and eyes focused on every move Kirishima makes -- then, she very carefully licks his fingers, the tail tucked between her butt and the crook of Bakugou's elbow starting to wiggle.

Kirishima can't help but laugh out of sheer relief and love, for this beautiful little creature that's now theirs to take care of, and for the man who looks at him like he'd go to the end and beyond for him.

Gods know Kirishima would do the same for Bakugou, always, always.

There's no way Kirishima won't hug Bakugou then, a clumsy pulling-closer with an arm over broad shoulders instead of the full-body squeeze Kirishima would usually go for. Snowball needs them to be extra gentle with her, give her space until she settles in; it's okay, whatever she needs, Kirishima will give her.

Like, he's had this dog for all of two minutes, but she's family and he would totally die for her.

"She's perfect", Kirishima confirms, a hoarse whisper against Bakugou's temple before he presses a kiss there. "Thank you."

>>Read on: Twitter

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #BNHA #MHA #kiribaku #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki #BNHA fanfiction #my stuff #KRBK dog dads make me soft as fuck ;__;

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ladydorian05 · 4 years ago

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A life in retrospection

(pic credit: @a7estrellas)

#Pedros12DaysOfChristmas

Hello @scribbledghost !!! I couldn’t wait, I’m your Secret Santa darling!!!!!

I really, really, REALLY hope you like this. This is actually the third try at writing your gift, I dot nervous and the self doubt worm hit me hard while writing. You mentioned you wanted ‘talking’, well my on the first one it was more talking than anything and was such a mess that I knew no amount of editing would fix it. I didn’t erase it completely I used some parts for the second one that served as the foundation for the final one.

It’s still a little bit of a mess, I suck at choosing titles and maybe the ending is a bit rushed.

Edit: Forgot to mention, Miss Daisy belongs to Scribbledghost, from her neighbour Whiskey series, check it out, you won’t regret it.

A life in retrospection

Soulmate AU!

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x fem character (a name is mentioned so it’s not THAT reader friendly)

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, lil bit of depression, Jack goes to therapy so expect to read a different man (we really just yeeted a whole man and turn him into a better one, the beauty of fanfics), fluffiness, this man is not afraid to cry, allusions to spiciness but just implicit.

Words: 3K and something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He couldn’t believe this was his life now.

He thought as he watched, through a window from the inside of his warm home, as the snowflakes fell outside.

Couldn’t believe he was capable of feeling such happiness again, not after everything he’s had to live through.

A few years ago, he almost committed the biggest mistake of his entire existence, condemning millions of people just because of his trauma. Good thing a pair of gentlemen helped knock some sense into him. Literally. And god bless Champ for giving him a second chance, since then, his life had been filled with second chances.

He finally went to see the Statesman therapist and work through his issues, he gave himself a second chance, to heal, to see the world in a different way.

What he never thought he would get, was a second chance at love, at being loved, but his beloved’s favorite pastime was to just prove him wrong every chance she got.

And prove him wrong she did.

Everyone has a soulmate, even him, and just like everyone else’s, his soul mark appeared on his thirteenth birthday. Right there, the name and the first letter of his soulmate’s last name etched into his skin in his soulmate’s handwriting and just like everyone he had been excited.

He spent countless hours staring at the letters on his wrist, studying the beautiful, soft and round letters, some of them just a breath away from being cursives. Always wondering when and if he would be able to meet the person they belonged to.

As the years passed, he became more aware of how small the chance that he would actually meet his soulmate was, and while he kept wondering about them from time to time, he didn’t stop himself from falling in love with someone else.

He shared many years with her, they got married just as they were fresh out of college, neither of them caring that they weren’t each other’s soulmates. Marriages like theirs weren’t rare at all, after all the world is way too big and life too short to spend it looking for one person.

Yes, life is short and it can be so cruel to the least deserving. The day he lost both his wife and unborn son was the day something inside him broke, something he thought could never be repaired again. He fell in an abysm of self blame that in time turned into bitterness and hatred for those who fell in the clutches of illegal substances. He really thought he would never love again.

Until one day. One fateful day thanks to a mix up with his order at his favorite coffee shop, he met her, his beloved; when their drinks had been served in the wrong cups by the new barista in training.

She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, what were the chances that said woman would turn out to also be his soulmate. From the moment he saw her he felt drawn to her. He knew it, the moment their fingers touched when they exchanged their cups. Something in him shifted with a rush of emotions, leaving him breathless.

Hell, even now she still leaves him breathless.

They had spent the rest of that day getting to know each other, they talked about everything and anything, as if they were old friends seeing each other again after some time apart. He had heard the stories multiple times, people would talk about how they felt the moment they found their soulmate, they all paled in comparison to the overwhelming feeling of being know in such a way by someone you had just met.

He felt so blessed just being able to be in her presence.

Indiana, Indy, his love, his Moonshine, the light of his life that pulled him out of the remaining darkness inside him. You gave him a second chance at love, at actually feeling alive and not just living. And he took it, he would’ve been and idiot if he hadn’t.

They decided to take it slow to truly get to know one another and see where this connection of theirs would take them. After all, not all soulmates went on the romantic route; some, were just destined to be platonic and neither option was better than the other, that’s just the way things were.

But after many dates, after both bared their souls to one another, they were happy to discover that all along there had been something growing between them and that the feeling was mutual.

They shared their first kiss beneath a starry sky, she had taken him to her favorite spot in the city, maybe the stars weren’t as visible as in other places due to the light pollution of the city but neither of you were really looking at them, too lost in one another. After that night everything fell into place.

In the following months, they spent as much time as they could together, lunch breaks, dinners, weekends at each other’s apartments watching movies, talking about work, about anything and everything.

After Champ had notified him that he was going to be allowed go back to field work, he invited you to dinner at his place. He decided to tell you everything then and there, about his wife, about his work; he had previously asked for permission for the last one, assuring his boss that this was serious and that he trusted you completely, he even told you about what he almost did during the whole Golden circle fiasco.

He had expected to see some kind of horror or judgement written in Indy’s face when he finally lifted his head when he stopped talking, he should have known better. He found understanding in your eyes, you told him how proud you were that he looked for help after everything he went through and that ‘James Bond job’ or not, you would be there for him.

You had also added an ‘Of course your alias is Whiskey!’ that made him laugh, but that was beyond the point.

You only asked, that every time he was to go on a mission that he’d let you know, and if he had to leave at a moment’s notice, he would call or text you as soon as he could, you also asked him to be careful.

“We just found each other I don’t want to lose you.” Were your exact words. He remembers because he kissed you as soon as you said them, it started slow and full of gratitude but it soon changed into a passionate one.

That had been the first of many nights, and mornings, he got to share his bed with you. You moved together shortly after that night. Going to bed every night and waking up with you at his side soon became the highlight of his days, if he could he would spend a lifetime just lying with you in bed. He savours every moment he gets by your side.

He had been sure, long before the date of your first year anniversary approached; both of you chose it to be the day you met; that he wanted to be there for you, he wanted to protect you, to make you as happy as you make him, to be anything you needed him to be, a friend, a lover, a life partner; you just had to say it and he’d do anything become that person.

He made a decision. They had already discussed the subject of marriage on more than one occasion, so he was sure it was something you would want or wouldn’t be opposed to it eventually. He still thought about it, long and hard for days.

After his first marriage he never thought he would be open to, well, any kind of relationship that went beyond one-night stands, but that was before therapy, before he worked on the demons inside his head; and now, now he just hoped you would be willing to take an old man as your husband. Again, he should’ve known better.

He planned everything, a romantic dinner at good restaurant; not too over the top fancy but with good food; then he would take you on a romantic walk through Central park, he knew of a spot that had a beautiful gazebo with a view to a pond, he decided he would ask you there; and of course, he sent to polish his mother’s ring.

She gave him the ring some time after his wife passed away and made him promise that he would only give it to his soulmate if he met them. His parents had been soulmates, and his grandparents as well, she explained that the ring had been in the family for many generations and more times than not the marriages had been between soulmates, maybe she believed the ring would bring him luck in finding his own.

With everything carefully planned, he just had to wait for the day to arrive.

But even the best-laid plans, often go awry.

The date fell on a Friday, he was just about to clock in when he received a call from Champ, he and Vermouth; previously known as their Ginger ale; where called for an emergency mission. A Band of extremist where planning a bombing, they got the location of their hideout and were tasked to take them out immediately.

While the mission wouldn’t take him to the other side of the planet, it would take him to the other side of the country, he knew even if they hurried up, he wouldn’t be back in time for the reservation; in fact, if he was lucky, he wouldn’t be back until midnight.

He remembers how much he had apologized to you as he called you on the Statesman’s plane, and bless you and your beautiful heart, you took it in stride, telling him it was fine and that you could celebrate the next day, that all you needed was for him to return to you safe and sound.

And he did just that. At around two in the morning, he opened the door to the apartment he shared with you, he left his hat and jacket at the entrance. He was beginning to un button his shirt when he saw you sleeping on the couch, a box of pizza on the coffee table and the tv still on.

It made him feel guilty but it also warmed his heart that you had tried to wait up for him, he decided against waking you up. He turned the tv off and took you in his arms, you only stirred a little bit before your breath evened out again. He placed you on your side of the bed and tuck you in; he took all of his clothes off except for his briefs before joining you in bed.

The next morning, he stirred awake at the feeling of your lips leaving small kisses all over his chest.

“Mmgood morning Moonshine.” He said, his voice rough from sleep.

“Good morning to you too, cowboy. Sorry I woke you up, but I couldn’t resist.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry about, love. Can’t think of a better way to wake up.” He had pull you closer to his side, your head resting on his arm. “’m sorry I missed our anniversary.”

“None of that Jack, I told you it’s okay. Besides, you can always make it up to me.” You said with mirth, running your hand up and down his torso.

He chuckled. “What did I do to deserve you?” he muttered as he placed a kiss on top of your head.

Both of you stayed quiet, just enjoying the moment, basking in the feeling of being in each other’s arms; until he broke the comfortable silence.

“Marry me.”

The words had just slipped through his lips. He knew neither of you really needed fancy restaurants or romantic venues, you just needed each other. So, what better place and moment to ask you to be his wife, than in the warmth of the home you shared, lying in each other’s arms in their bed.

“What?” He felt your hand stop its movement right on top of his heart, he was sure you had felt how fast it was beating.

“I said, marry me, Moonshine. Please?” You sat on the bed, watching him with an unreadable expression.

“Jack Daniels, you better not be joking.” You had pointed a finger to him.

“Tell me my love, if I wasn’t serious, would I have this?” He said as he also sat on the bed and reached inside of the drawer of the nightstand, taking the velvet box in his hand; not the best hiding place but he hadn’t planned for it to stay there for a long time; he opened it to show you the ring inside.

“Oh my god Jack!” you covered your mouth with your hands as your eyes became glossy with unshed tears.

“Indy, Indiana, my love, my Moonshine, my soulmate. You have no idea how blessed I feel to have you in my life, there aren’t enough words in the world to help me express how much I love you, how much you mean to me. You’re an amazing person, so kind, intelligent, strong and beautiful, and I’ll be more than honored to be your husband, if you’ll have me.” He held his breath as he watched you process what he just said.

He was beginning to get worried when you just sat there for a few seconds, that felt like an eternity to him, staring at him without saying a word. You took him by surprise when you jumped into his arms, just as he was considering on telling you that it was okay if you didn’t want to or that you could take your time before answering.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes Jack! Of course I’ll have you!” By the time he got the ring on your finger both of you were a sobbing mess. He didn’t let you leave the bed until way past noon, and only because neither of you had had breakfast. He had to take good care of his fiancée.

The wedding had been beautiful, only your closest friends and family were invited to the event.

Sometime after the wedding, Champ asked him to move back to Kentucky, he offered him a promotion, he offered him his own position in Statesman, saying that he was ready to retire and that he thought that, out of everyone else, he was the best candidate for it.

His past self would have jumped at the opportunity, not only would he be in charge of the intelligence agency, he would also become the major stockholder of the distillery; but he wasn’t that man anymore, it was a huge responsibility, even if it came with its benefits.

And he had a wife. Your friends lived here, your work was here, you had built a life for yourself in this city long before he came into your life; he couldn’t just go home and tell you ‘Darling, guess what? We’re moving to Kentucky!’ and he refused to leave you behind.

He thanked Champ for the offer and asked him for some time to think about it. He told you about it as soon as he got home. He told you that he couldn’t just ask you to leave what you worked so hard to get behind and follow him down south.

You let him speak, you let him ramble on and on about why it wasn’t a good idea, he also listed some of the positive things that came with accepting the promotion.

“Wait a minute.” You interrupted him in the middle of his tirade. “As the head or director or whatever you guys call it, you would be permanently stationed in Kentucky? As in no more field work?”

“Well, yes and no. At first yes, Champ will have to show me the ropes of everything, then I’ll probably still be active for some years but then well yes, eventually I won’t be sent on missions as frequently as right now. There’s also managing the distillery and that means normal corporate stuff like business trips and all that; it won’t be that different from what I already do here.” You nodded at his words.

“Do it. You have my support.” His eyes widened at that.

“But, but Moonshine, what about your work!?”

“What about it? I’m sure I can request a transfer, and if not I’m sure I can get a new job, it’s not like we’re moving to the middle of nowhere; I could also become a free-lancer.” You listed. “Listen Jack, if moving south means you’ll be risking your life less and less as time goes on, then we’re moving south.” And that was the end of the discussion, he knew the decision was made.

He let you choose the new house, he only asked for enough land to get a horse or two in the future; he was dying to take you on romantic rides; and you chose a beautiful roomy one, neither of you wanted to dismiss the possibility of children. The extra points of the house were the beautiful chimney inside and the fire pit on the back porch, it also had a barn not far from the main building.

And it was good that the house was quite large because half a year after moving in, he convinced you to go with him to a local farm animal expo on his day off. As you browsed through the various handmade items in display, he stumbled upon a woman selling teacup pigs, and while he had always considered himself more of a horses and dogs person, his curiosity got the better of him.

They were so adorable, one in particular caught his attention, he couldn’t resist the adorable beaded eyes looking straight at him; before he knew it, he was making his way back to you holding the little piggy in his arms.

He got a “Jack, why are you holding a pig like a baby?” from you the moment you saw him.

“Because she is! Just look at her she’s so cute, she’s my cute little lady.”

The conversation about the new member of their family continued on the way back home.

“I hope you’re not thinking about letting her stay inside the house once she begins to grow.”

“What are you talking about? Miss Daisy’s a teacup pig; she’ll only grow an inch or maybe three at most.”

“Oh, so it’s Miss Daisy! She already has a name and all that. I’m warning you; I’m not going to pick up what Miss Daisy produces after eating.” You said. “Wait, teacup pig? You are aware there’s no such thing as teacup pigs, right?”

“What do you mean? The woman said they were all teacup pigs.”

“Oh my god. My love, you have been deceived.”

He may not know a lot about pigs, but he couldn’t believe that that sweet woman had outright lied to him, right?

Wrong. Like always, you were right, and he fucked up. At least he eventually convinced you to let him keep Miss Daisy inside. She’ll always be a baby to him, no matter how big she got.

And then, he became an actual father. It wasn’t enough for you to give him so much love and happiness, now you had given him the greatest gift of all. She was perfect, from her tiny nose to her even tinnier toes.

If he had cried when you agreed to marry him, and cried even more when you gave him the news of your pregnancy; he was sure he cried a river the day their daughter was born.

Here he was, years later, still madly in love with you, still feeling like the luckiest man in the world.

He was brought back from his memories by a pair of hands sliding around his middle from behind.

“Hey, I made hot chocolate, want a cup?” He turned around to properly face you, a big smile on his face. “What? Do I have some coco powder on me?”

“No,” he shook his head “no. It’s just, well, you just took my breath away.” He said wiggling his eyebrows up and down in the way he knew always made you laugh.

“Pffff, Jack, I married you, you can stop saying stuff like that.”

“On the contrary, Moonshine, I shall keep on stating the truth of how my stunning wife makes me feel every single day of my life.” He leaned to give you a sweet short kiss.

“You haven’t answered Mr. Daniels, hot chocolate or do you want a cup of coffee?”

“Mmmm, I’ll have the chocolate this time, gotta honor the drink that brought you into my life, Mrs. Daniels.” He pressed his forehead against yours.

“What’s gotten into you today?” You asked, laughing softly as the hairs of his moustache tickled your upper lip.

“Nothing, just been reminiscing my happiest memories. Want to know a secret?” He whispered the question. “They’re all about you.” He leaned in for another kiss when the voice of his little girl calling for him reached them.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look! Look at Miss Daisy! Isn’t she pretty?” He turned his head from his Moonshine as his daughter came running up to them in her cute pajamas, just in time to see Miss Daisy as she came waddling behind his lil’ sweetheart wearing a pink tutu, a tiara and he noticed her glittery pink painted hooves.

“Wow, sweetheart! She’s really pretty!” He tried to sound excited for his daughter’s sake, but he knew it came out more strained than he wanted.

She giggled before running off back to her room, with, once again, Miss Daisy running after her.

“Want me to google if that nail polish could be potentially harmful for her while you put our little tornado to sleep?” God bless his wife.

“Yes, please.” He let out a sigh. “You’re amazin’ Moonshine.” He turned back to you before placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

“I got you, cowboy.” He had to separate from your arms so he could go help their daughter keep her bed time schedule, otherwise they’ll surely have a cranky child for most of the next day.

“Hey honey! You want a bed time story?” he heard a distant ‘yay’ and a couple of snorts in response. “Be right back babe.” With a wink as he walked towards their daughter’s room.

Maybe he’ll never get used to this much happiness in his life, but he’ll never complain, what were the odds that he would meet his soulmate and build a beautiful home and a beautiful family with her. He must have done at least something right if he got to live this life.

And he will live it, to its fullest.

Tag list (do let me know if anyone wanst to be tagged in future works):

@oloreaa

#pedros12daysofchristmas #agent whiskey #agent jack whiskey daniels #agent whiskey x f!reader #agent whiskey x female reader #agent whiskey x fem! reader #jack daniels x f!reader #jack daniels x female reader #jack daniels x fem! reader #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #kingsman agent whiskey #kingsman the golden circle whiskey

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formerprincewille · 4 years ago

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I was tagged by @pamouche and @borborai in this and I finally gotten around to doing it. Thanks so much!

Fav wtfock s3 things: honestly I could go on for hours about my love for this season it’s One of my favorite things to exist in the entire world. I have re-watched it so many times and it always leaves me feeling so happy. Some specifics: Robbe IJzermans, sweet sunshine, love and light of my life, I would throw myself in front of traffic for that boy I love him so much. He captured my heart in a way few ever have. This boy. He’s just such a caring and compassionate person. He’s got his little shit attitude, and he’s definitely a tiny brat, but he is also so full of love to give. I love that he’s not flashy. He’s not somebody that a lot of people are going to notice in a crowd. He’s overlooked by everyone, including his friends. But when you get to know him you see how remarkable he is, because few people are that genuinely good. And the way he grew from hurt and lonely and angry and afraid to happy and confident and not only accepting but proud of who he is makes me cry happy tears. He’s just the best. But the other best is the yin to his yang, his beautiful, wonderful, cool, bold, funny, sweet, and completely dorky art hoe of a soul mate, Sander Driesen. When I think of what my ideal Even would be, he is it. His heart is just right there for everyone to see and he doesn’t hide it. In fact he’s extra about showing it. He’s also vulnerable and needy and feels so very young to be going through such large struggles. He makes me laugh and cry and I would dive in front of the Skam France car for him as well. Love that kid so much. Sobbe. Do I really need to say it? Holy shit they are everything. Soulmates, best friends, loves of each other’s lives. Their chemistry is so good that it doesn’t even exist in this stratosphere. It’s otherworldly. The love that they feel for each other is tangible. They’re one of those couples that when I look at them I think “now those two are going to make it”. You can just feel it. They also somehow manage to hit on so many beloved fanfic tropes but remain realistic because it’s actually canon. Like when couples in fanfic will call each other pet names but it’s rare you actually see it in canon. But sobbe is like hold my beer and goes all out with it. The way they express their love to each other is exactly what the other one needs. Sander is loud end boisterous and goes all out to make it clear to Robbe and everyone else on earth how he feels about this boy. He gives him things to make him feel special and he’s full of affection for him. Robbe is also extremely affectionate, he tells Sander what he needs to hear to feel safe and loved and they love spending time together. Their love is a balm for one another that soothes them both. And it’s clear that neither of them need the other more nor ever did. They both needed one another and met at a time in our lives that they were both in pretty low places and were exactly what the other needed. And they always will be. Sorry, getting emotional again. They’re the otp to end all otps. 🥺 The Soundtrack. I love every single song on the soundtrack. All of them, and I listened to the soundtrack so much on my Spotify that my entire top songs of 2020 were made up of wtfock s3 songs. They not only have excellent musical choices, but they are all placed within scenes so well that they perfectly complement what is happening in the narrative at any given point. Casa Milan and Zoenne and Robbe aka Flatshare Fam. I want to live there. It is so warm, it is so inviting, and it is filled with such love. The support that Robbe got from Milan, Zoë, and Senne was unmatched. I don’t know where he would’ve been without it. Could you imagine if he had had to live with his dad? How differently his story could’ve ended up? Especially with Milan, having someone not much older than he is who has gone through a lot of the same things he has. He was such a big brother figure and mentor and I’m so glad Robbe had that.

Fav clip: Scuse me I’m not picking just one so Dinsdag 16:31, Zaterdag 09:41, Woensdag 21:21, Mandaag 11:03, Zaterdag 08:44 and Woensdag 16:36

Fav scene: Their Vrijdag 21:21 reunion, morning after, ohn/mbm, singing to a shoe, the hotel scenes, and the grocery store. I’m not really sure of the distinction between a scene and a clip 😂

Fav shot: Oh god don’t make me choose. Their hands in Dinsdag 16:31 is a big one. The dual mirror shots of Robbe after Milan tells him about gay pride before the attack to him bruised and battered after. When Robbe is kneeling down beside Sander in Mandaag 11:03. The shot of Milan, Robbe, and Sander playing the pandemic game all cozy by the Christmas tree. Any shots of Robbe and Sander making heart eyes and/or kissing. Any close ups of Robbe’s face and eyes bc Herbots, man. Good god he’s amazing.

Fav kiss that Robbe initiates: Woensdag 21:21, Dinsdag 07:27 and Woensdag 17:21

Fav kiss that Sander initiates: Zaterdag 09:41, Dinsdag 16:31, and Vrijdag 21:21

Fav Sander dialogue: Can I say everything? Okay okay, I’ll give some examples. “Wow, that’s expensive!” “You and me, a hundred percent forever, in every universe.” “I’m holding onto you and I’m never letting go of you.” “🎵Ground control to major Tom. Circuit dead there’s something wrong.🎵” “Are you going to leave me behind?” (🥺) “Zero stars on booking.com.” “The moonlight was shining down on you and I knew immediately ‘he is the one’.” “Get ready to be mindblown!” “All the way or no way.” “Take it or leave it, eh?” “You could try bribing the teacher.” “Robin.” Also literally everything he said during wtfockdown because there’s not a moment where he isn’t iconic. But a really special moment, “Just because other people are close minded doesn’t mean that you should make your world smaller.”

Fav Robbe dialogue: “You touched me and I’ve never felt something like that.” “That kiss was really *head explosion noises*.” “Not in this universe.” “Sander, there is something between us. I love you.” “Jawel.” (I just love the way he says it, it’s so fuckin cute). “Fuck Chernobyl.” “Always.” And of course, his verse in eenvoud.

Fav hug: Mandaag 11:03 when Robbe holds a crying Sander. Also, does the spooning and cuddling in the hotel scenes and Dinsdag 07:27 count? Because I love that. Also Woensdag 17:21. Or really anytime Robbe is being a clingy koala. And we can’t forget his hug with Milan after he tells him about the attack. He really needed that comfort.

Fav 21:21: Nope. Nah in all seriousness they just hit different. Woensdag is my favorite in terms of clip alone because from beginning to end it is just so beautiful and perfect. The music, the tunnel, the pool, the kiss, just absolutely gorgeous. But at that time everything was still really new between them and the aftermath of that was rough. Vrijdag is my favorite clip in terms of what it means for Robbe and Sander. The clip itself is shorter, but it has much larger impact in terms of sobbe’s relationship. It’s not just their first time physically, but their emotional declaration to one another as well. It comes with a commitment. Also them falling off the bed laughing is the greatest thing ever. They are so HAPPY. So basically my answer is both, just in different ways.

Fav Sobbe instagram pic: Why are all these questions so mean? Okay- their first one together obviously because along with Robbe’s caption it’s just a showing of their love being official. But also the grocery cart pics for their 6 month anniversary. The grocery store pic in Ardennes getaway. Robbe’s bday pics of them embracing they’re SO HAPPY omg. And of course, we cannot forget the pic posted for Sander’s birthday. It is absolutely perfect. I love it so much.

Fav song/scene pair: I have a few- both examples of wildfire obviously, past lives in Zaterdag 09:41, and rebel rebel at the grocery store. But I have two more that are not at all happy clips but are two of my fave clips regardless: life on mars/zaterdag 21:43 (that scene is impeccable along with its followup which I consider them a pair but LoM only plays in the first one) and I found/zondag 15:12 (my god I love that scene it’s brilliant).

Fav message between Sander and Robbe: Woensdag 12:45 when Sander sends Robbe the sketch of them and talks about that kiss earlier being Chernobyl. Also everything during wtfockdown but especially “I love you so much Robin.” “I love you too. So damn much.” But honestly they had so much adorable banter during those clips we were truly fed.

Fav banter on Instagram: lmaooo they’re always so thirsty on main you could pick a million examples. I will say I loved their back and forth about emojis on their anniversary.

I will tag @onzeziggy @everyone-has-their-story @bowieexaminprogress @sanderxrobbee @ayellowcurtain and whoever else wants to do it. This was fun!

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe #wtfock season 3 #tagging games

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the-darklings · 5 years ago

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—𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒆 [01];

—PART I. | GASOLINE GIRL

pairing: santino d’antonio x f!reader

word count: 6.2k+

summary: “Carry that ice in your heart, always.”

warnings: mentions of: child abuse, drug abuse, death/torture; swearing, typical mafia-related situations/discussions so take heed because this is a mature read for sure. But we gotta be realistic, this life ain’t pretty.

notes: so this can be read as a standalone though I do consider it a sort of mini sister series to COA. This will be short (no more than 5 parts) and only updated when I have free time. That being said, I do hope you enjoy. I even flexed my none existent photoshop skills to make the header pic lol. Get ready this one is going to be a ride.

You don’t become a part of Camorra by choice.

No one sane enough would.

Your parents simply got involved with people who would have had you killed if they stepped out of the line. You know because that was a threat made with you in the room and a cold, merciless barrel of a gun pressed to your head.

Giovanni D’Antonio’s men came at night, dragging you and your parents out of bed in nothing but your nightclothes. They made you kneel on the dusty floor, your knees aching against the hardness of the wood.

The man himself is as awful as you heard people on the streets whisper. Everyone fears him. Fears him and Camorra and the terrors they unleash onto anyone who doesn’t fall in line.

“Such pity you didn’t have a son,” the head of Camorra notes dispassionately as he scrutinises you, his fingers digging painfully into the flesh of your cheeks. “What am I suppose to do with a girl?”

The man tsks as if some grave crime has been committed against him and takes a long drag of his cigar, turning your head from side to side. Your squirm, knees knocking, your lips trembling, but don’t let him see fear. You can’t afford to let this vile, cruel man who asked his men to beat your father to a bloody heap on the floor to see you weak. You can’t show predator fear if you want to live. Not when your mother is already a sobbing mess on the floor, clutching onto your father in despair.

You wonder if he’s alive. A part of you—

A part of you doesn’t care to know because the man before you stares at you with such finely veiled disgust, you can’t help but know that he will kill you all regardless. He might even enjoy giving the order. And your father is to blame for that.

“Are you at least smart, girl?” he demands and slaps you lightly on the cheek when you don’t respond. “Answer me. Or I will cut your tongue out, and then you will know what it’s like not having the gift of speech. Or maybe I will start with your parents instead.”

Your mother cries harder, practically hysterical and you feel a sting of bitterness, of anger, deep in your chest. She should be strong.

She should be defending you.

But she isn’t. She’s just crying. As if that’s going to save you, protect you, keep these men away.

“You will kill us all anyway,” you whisper knowingly, your words hollow as you stare into those dark, cold eyes that have no end. “They stole from you and you hate thieves.”

The man exhales smoke directly into your face but you don’t flinch—not even as your eyes water from the sting of tobacco, not even when he leans his malign, handsome face closer.

“But I reward loyalty,” he tells you, now almost pleasant, and his thick fingers tilt your chin up as he regards you critically. “Do you understand what I’m saying, hm?”

You nod once.

Giovanni is quiet and thoughtful but then a slight smile creeps across his face.

It’s the most awful sight you have ever seen.

“Then we are done here,” he announces and his hand drops away from your face, his dark gaze lifting over your slight frame and towards the men hovering in the shadows, awaiting orders.

Two shots follow.

You don’t flinch.

The sobs cease.

Giovanni’s grim smile widens, pleased.

“Come along, girl. You no longer have family here.”

. . .

Camorra is a pit.

A pit of betrayal and blood and drugs and more blood.

The first four months are near unbearable.

You’re younger than what they usually recruit and it shows. You don’t know how to navigate this world. You’ve been dropped off at a “care home” that operates more like a drug house but has to keep up a front for the public. Which, in itself, is hilarious because you doubt there is anyone in the nearby province who doesn’t know what this place is.

But it’s survival of the fittest here.

And it’s not a game you know how to play well.

Each person is given a task, a job, and you must do it or you will be punished. Severely.

Giovanni left you here, in this hellhole, with a dismissive hum and a harsh pat on the head, “Let’s see what you make of yourself, gasoline girl.”

Gasoline girl.

Because he didn’t bother asking for your real name. Because he gave you a canister of gasoline and told you to pour it through your house, onto your dead parents, and gave you the remains of his cigar, his order clear.

You watched your home go up in smoke, your parents’ bodies still inside, with gnawing detachment eating away at your heart, your soul.

The flame was hot and bright and Giovanni made you watch till there was nothing left but ash and ruin.

“Little gasoline girl,” he had said then, even more pleased. “Carry that ice in your heart, always. It will take you far in my family.”

The care home, however, is a desolate place that lacks warmth your home had—that lacks anything resembling anything humane, in fact. The only reason why you’re not drugged that very first night is because Giovanni told his men that you are too young for such a thing. Because he wants to see if you can be useful, your mind as sharp as he hopes it is.

But if you disobey…

It doesn’t frighten you, not at first, not until you see them. Those with sunken eyes and pale skin. Lips cracked and limbs trembling. They no longer have wills or dreams or aspirations. They are tools, shells, empty of everything that once made them human. Riddled with pain and despair that plagues them till their next fix or death.

They frighten you so much you hide away in the attic. You’re not sure how you find your way up there but you curl on the floor—in the darkest, deepest hole you can find—and sob and sob and sob into the dust and the dirt. Sob till your eyes are swollen and your throat is raw.

You rip and tear the girl you once were to shreds that night. Because even then, you know, that you will not survive long like this. That this dark pit will consume you unless you find a way to survive, to fight back.

Carry that ice in your heart, always.

You intend to.

You will.

. . .

Next four months are consistent of a few things: death, blood, drugs and violence.

It’s everywhere you look, all you hear at all times of day and night, and you can’t escape it.

There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide—not when Camorra owns this city. Not when Giovanni knows you by face, if not by name—something that’s a rare honour, you learn later, seeing the Boss in person. Being handpicked by him.

Money laundering, sex, drug distribution, torture; the care home cycles through it all on a daily basis.

Hunger becomes part of the routine, the attic your new home.

You exist in the shadows out of fear, at first. Then, you realize how much power comes from being unseen. If you are unseen, then you can never be hurt, never be abused.

Not like so many—young, so young—always are.

There is nothing glorious about this life. It’s just survival.

Ugly and filthy and dangerous.

So you listen and hide and learn.

The staff—mostly men who are loud and rowdy but follow the rules because they fear the Boss too much, and few older women—start calling you a ghost.

You don’t mind. Not even at all.

It’s better than being actually dead.

. . .

The first time you meet him, you’ve been at the care home for little over a year.

The sounds of pain, pleasure, and death no longer scare you at night.

They have become your reality. Your own twisted, lewd lullaby in a way.

Violence and hate. Pleasure and pain. Greed and death.

They have become levers and cornerstones upon which you have built stability and routine.

Giovanni is coming tonight, the people in the hallways whisper in hushed breaths that morning though, and if anything is out of place blood will be shed.

You haven’t seen him in a year.

You’ve grown and hardened, killed as many soft parts of yourself as you could since the last time you saw him.

You have also become useful.

So normal, so sweet-looking, so unassuming.

Like a ghost the staff compares you to, you haunt the streets and collect information for Camorra; the perfect little spy.

You nurture that ice in your heart and project it outward, and when Giovanni comes and calls forth everyone at the care home, you hold your chin up; unmoving, stiff-backed, and defiant.

Much to your surprise, his dark gaze snags on you and he pauses in his step, recognition reflecting back at you.

The leader of the care home pauses too, hesitating, clearly unsure if he should comment until Giovanni speaks.

“So you lived.”

He sounds surprised, pleasantly so.

You don’t so much as blink.

“Santino.”

It is then, from the folds of Giovanni’s guard, that a boy steps through. He’s barely taller than you and clearly you are close in age, if not the same, you conclude as he steps beside his father.

His hair is dark and finely combed, his clothes neat and expensive, and he reeks of privilege even more so than his father.

He’s also terrible at hiding his thoughts. He’s repulsed to be here, he thinks it beneath him and being faced with this—grim, hungry faces and grime—he’s balking under the stark contrast to his no doubt princely life at home.

He is the prince of Camorra—every bit as spoiled and arrogant as you expected him to be.

You hate him on sight.

“What do you see?” Giovanni asks his son as the two stand before you.

Santino’s dark brows furrow and he blinks slowly, looking you up and down. There isn’t much to you. Your clothes are dirty and worn, your features no doubt hostile and your gaze even worse. It’s how you keep yourself safe. Snarl and bite first. Some men like to mutter “rabid dog” under their breaths as you pass in the hallways, but you’re fine with that, too. Even when they make offhand comments that only one thing happens to rabid dogs eventually.

“A nobody, father.”

Oh?

Giovanni sighs, disappointed, and Santino sees this, scrambling for something else to add, “She’s—she’s a girl.”

“Obviously,” the man says, his voice bored, dismissive, and Santino’s expression falls, his eyes lowering. But the older man is still staring at you. “Keep that ice in your heart, gasoline girl,” he reminds you, mild but stern.

He walks away without another word, going back to business in a blink.

His son lingers for a breath, his eyes jumping up and finally meeting yours.

He looks resentful. He’s blaming you for his father’s disappointment in him. He thinks that you are to blame for the failed test.

He looks at you like you are beneath him, like you are less, a nobody he accused you of being.

His eyes are vivid green.

Green as your mother’s garden. Green as the oak that used to sway outside your window.

Green as the grass you used to roll around in when spring flowers bloomed behind your house.

You hate him even more, then.

For the reminder.

Santino D’Antonio stares at you for another long, hateful moment until his father calls him.

He surprises you by hesitating, still staring, but you only glare at him. Openly, without fear and with clear contempt.

I hate you. I hate you and everything you stand for—everything that you are. You will never know what it’s like to be hungry or cold or scared. What it is to kill and survive.

You dismiss him. A simple sweep of your eyes over his shoulder.

He exhales sharply at your defiance.

You wonder if anyone has ever defied him before and not been severely punished for it.

It makes you feel alive, for a moment, that spark of disobedience.

It’s perhaps the most real you have felt since that night with your knees in the dirt.

The weight of his stare is suffocating and you feel seen, beheld in a way that strips you down to your core.

“Santino.”

Giovanni’s voice is a subtle, cutting blade and his son jerks after him like dog on a leash.

You hope you will never see him again.

. . .

Days turn into weeks, into months, and then years.

With each new day at Camorra, your heart ices over and over.

You meet people, and you lose even more of them.

It teaches you a lesson of not getting attached, of not caring, of things outside of yourself being fragile and breakable.

First there’s Nari. Too sweet, too kind, and with circumstances that are a bit too similar to your own. Is it any wonder he seeks you out? Any wonder that you let him close? Becoming his friend seems inevitable when you’ve been lonely for so long.

He gets shot on a drug run gone wrong six months after meeting you. There is nothing left of him for you to remember him by. There’s only memories of dark, midnight hair and his wheezy, shrill laugh that you always told him was annoying.

Then, a few years later comes Lucie. You’re a part of the home by then. There is a place for you here; a strength and a steadily rising reputation attached to your person. The pain-soaked hallways are familiar and your own now because you claimed them as such. Attic is no longer a hole to hide in but your home, your sanctuary, your dark throne.

She’s too beautiful and too gentle to survive this place. You know it from the moment you see her. It takes one look to know that this place will gobble her up and spit her back out, crushed and broken.

But there is something about her. Something about the ring of her laughter and the spark in her eyes. The shade of her long hair that reminds you of your mother. Something about the way she trusts you, relies on you, and believes in you. Looks at you as a friend, as a companion, salvation. How during the cold, bleak nights she seeks your warmth and dreams out loud of the life you will have once you both break free of Camorra. Once you find a way to make an honest living. She dreams of a world far bigger and grander than you’ve ever had.

Your dreams are simple: survive, become a nightmare that sweeps through the ranks of Camorra.

Lucie dreams of a home by the sea with three chickens, a cow, and a loving family.

“I want a big one,” she reveals one night, turning to face you with a serious frown. “At least four kids.”

You suppress a shiver. Seeing what you have seen, living through what you have, you can’t imagine having a family. Not one that big, at least. But perhaps it’s because you haven’t felt safe in so very long that any extension of yourself will always feel like a weakness opposed to strength.

“Sounds painful.”

She laughs; a soft, soothing sound as she rests her cheek against your shoulder with a faint smile. “They will have an amazing, scary aunt to look after them. I’m not worried.”

It’s quiet for a moment before she speaks again. “What about you?”

Noting your blank stare, she adds, “Don’t you want a family? Or at least someone to call your own?”

“No,” you shoot back stiffly, and take another deliberate bite of your soggy bread. “People you love can be used against you. Hurt because of you, or by you. If I love them,” you pause, the word foreign on your tongue. “I won’t want them to suffer because of me. If I’m hurting them, then it’s not love at all.”

It’s silent for a long time.

“Sometimes,” Lucie whispers eventually with a sad, quiet sigh. “I can’t help but think that they’re one and the same.”

You think about that for a while.

Think about how her father used to beat her mother but they still stayed. Think about how that takes a special kind of bravery and strength. How despite that, he was a loving father to Lucie. How sometimes humans can be ugly and awful but have some semblance of good in them, too. How good can be done by bad and bad can be done by good.

“I suppose.”

She blinks up at you. “Well if I have a family, then you have to have one as well.”

Your lips curve and it feels strange on your face. “Is that so?”

She nods but her eyes are full of mirth. “We’re both going to be fat and pregnant with swollen ankles and awful cravings. Promise?”

Her eyes are full of dreams, full of light you have never seen before.

You try to protect that light, try to hide her away from the men who would hurt her, from the women who would drug her and bargain her away.

It’s foolish and reckless of you but you are almost frenzied with the need to keep something good alive. For once, you just need—

She gets taken.

It’s planned in advance, you learn later.

They had to get you out of the house first. They lied—a job straight from the high tier of Camorra, from the elite itself, no refusals—and used that time you were away to take her.

What they did—

They pay for it.

Everyone in the care home that had anything to do with it, anyone who knew.

You tear ten people apart. Slowly; piece by piece, muscle by muscle, sinew by sinew. Over the years you have found new talents, new hobbies. Ghost is an old name they called you around the house.

But you have others you prefer now.

When it’s done, you stalk through the too silent house, covered in cooling blood and—

You’re not sure how much of it is from the people you just killed and how much is from—

Lucie is where you found her.

Your eyes sting as you gaze at the sight in front of you. You gather her in your arms gently and even if it’s a slog, slow and painful, you take her to the tiny bathroom down the hall.

You wash her hair of dirt and blood and—

Tears fall heavy and hot the entire time you work and you have to pause in-between, choking down your sobs.

Her body is next. Wetting a cloth in your hand, you clean her skin, fold her hands over her chest, ignoring the broken bones and broken skin.

You’re glad it’s late spring.

The ground is softer, more pliable.

Despite that, it still takes you four hours to dig a grave deep enough. Your hands are numb, bloodied and blistered by the time you’re done. The stench of sweat and death mixes with the blood but you ignore it.

Lowering her takes time—time and care and self-control. Because she’s so cold, so stiff, and it’s awful knowing that you will never see her again after this.

You bury dreams and hopes and aspirations with her—both hers and yours. A handful of dirt at the time. Your hands are raw but you force yourself to keep going.

And when it’s done, you collapse beside the grave and stay there for hours, days, maybe weeks.

It starts raining and you let the freezing spring rain wash over you. The smell of wet earth and grass drags you into hazy dreams. They transform into feverish nightmares eventually, haunting you and killing you over and over again. You failed. Failed to protect something good. Maybe saving Lucie was only partially about saving her—an innocent—from this awful fate, and more about…

More about some vague, distant belief—hope—that you could be saved, too.

Grief splits you apart and suffocates you with every breath as you lay beside the fresh grave.

Grief. You’re not sure if you even grieved your parents. Not really. Because they were dead and you still had an uncertain future ahead of you. You grieved a life you could have had. But it’s been so long. So very long now.

Time is not a concept you can understand any longer.

By the time they find you, a part of you wishes they would just let you die and bury you beside your friends. Let you rest at long last.

But there are voices.

A foot nudges you as you roll over onto your back with a heavy thud. Dark sky stretches out above you.

Then, through a haze, a face appears, peering down at your with mild disinterest.

Recognition; it comes fierce and sharp and you know it’s the same for him.

Urgent, angry voices blur together as everything fades away into nothing.

You fucking hate those green eyes.

. . .

When you wake up, the Devil is standing over you.

Giovanni D’Antonio lifts a single eyebrow, not bothering to mask his cool distaste at your wheezing, delirious state.

You scramble upwards anyway, wincing at the ringing in your head and the popping in your ears.

You feel heavy and fuzzy in the worst way possible—the way that makes one slow and vulnerable. Nausea rolls your stomach, mixing with the instinctual fear of seeing who is standing above you.

“What a mess,” Giovanni drawls and hitches his trousers up as he sits down on a creaky chair beside your cot. “What a mess, gasoline girl.”

You’re sweating but feel so cold your body trembles and you can’t hide it. This man should never see you vulnerable but he is right now and you hate your own weakness.

“Who knew you had such a gift for death,” he continues and you swallow, your throat raw—from crying, from screaming and howling at the sky, you recall through your delirium—and you tremble again. “Ten dead. So easy, too. And such…brutality.”

If you didn’t know any better you would say he’s paying you a compliment—that he’s impressed.

The man reaches into his pocket and your bandaged hands—why are they bandaged, what—constrict around the fresh, cotton sheets covering you.

Cotton. You haven’t touched something as soft, as luxurious, as cotton since that last night you slept in your own bed years ago.

But Giovanni pulls out a cigar holder from his pocket instead of a gun, offering it to you. You don’t move, hardly breathe, as you stare at him through your watery eyes. Your ears are still ringing.

“I asked others about what happened,” he begins after lighting his cigar. He rolls it between his thick fingers, his golden rings gleaming and you shudder. “What justified ten of my own slaughtered like barn animals. So rethink lying to me, if that was your intention, girl. Let me start with something easy, though: was the girl your lover?”

Your eyes find his and perhaps it’s the fever, or the hole in your soul, but you don’t look away even when his eyes narrow on you.

He doesn’t understand. Of course, he doesn’t. As if a man like him could ever understand what it’s like to be so lost and raw with loneliness your heart is ready to crumble away at the gentlest of touches. As if everything in this world has to be about physicality and desire. As if care and loyalty can’t come from a place of love that has nothing to do with gratification of the body.

“No.”

“Then why did you kill them?”

“Because they deserved it,” you croak out, and your voice cracks as you pant for breath. Your head spins and you drop back against the wall even as your chest rattles with a loud, wet cough. Giovanni waits, expectant, and your eyes narrow. Let him kill you after. But he will hear this, if he wants truth so badly. “They deserved it for what they d-did to her. It—those m-monsters. She was sixteen. And they did it on purpose. Because they enjoyed it. I would—I would do it again gladly. Over and over again till there is nothing left of them to bury. Till—till only pieces remain and even then it would be too kind.”

The bloodlust is surging through you like a river after the fresh spring rain, untamed and wild, and you struggle for breath. The regret that you didn’t take longer, hurt them more—

And perhaps that makes you a monster. No—you know it does. But you can’t find it in yourself to care.

Better to be a monster than a coward. Better to be alive and hated than loved but dead.

Giovanni exhales, his lips pressing into a displeased line. “So naive,” he mutters and takes another drag. “I figured the home would have eroded that away by now. Shame.”

You gape at him, shivering but silent. It’s like he’s reached down your throat and robbed you of speech.

“What do you think happens to people like that girl, hm?” he wonders out loud, slanting his head just so. Even with his hair starting to grey, he’s still handsome, still electric to look at. It’s the coldness of that dark, bottomless stare that sets him apart from others you have met. “She was no better than your parents. Weak. And weak do not survive in this world, they are used and that’s how we live. You could have been like her, but you fought back. That’s why I told you to keep that ice in your heart, yes? There are thousands like that girl and there will be a thousand more, and a thousand more after that. It is the way of the world. I am simply…reaping.”

His cigar flares at the tip again as Giovanni takes a steady drag, savouring the burn of it against the back of his throat.

You want to cry and scream and tear at him. This world—his world—is wrong and twisted and—

But you have chosen it, haven’t you?

Better than being dead.

And you’ve killed and stolen and lied and cheated for years now. You’ve gotten good at it. Better than most. Better than anyone in the home had been.

“Did it break you?”

Your eyes drag back to him, and you realise that you’ve been silent for so long, you’ve started to doze off. Laying in the rain for god knows how long didn’t do you much good. You feel worse and worse with every second that stretches by.

His emotionless question clatters through you though, settling in the pit of your stomach.

Lucie.

Her happy smile flashes through your weary mind and you try to draw breath into your wrecked lungs.

“No.”

It has only made you colder and emptier, you realise. You had laid next to Lucie’s grave because you had hoped for a quick end. But—

But no.

For the second time in your life, you lift your head and look the Devil in the eyes as you choose life.

Whatever form it comes in.

Regardless of what else it will demand of you.

Perhaps, you should be thankful for this lesson.

The head of Camorra nods once, considering you, and then asks a serious, “Do you remember what I told you about loyalty, gasoline girl?”

I reward loyalty.

“Yes.”

It’s an effort to keep your eyes on him. His features are blurring, and you can’t even smell the thick cloud of smoke in the air anymore.

“Who were you loyal to when you killed my people? Your people?”

You don’t hesitate, spitting out a vicious, “To myself. Just as you wanted me to be.”

For a moment, you think that Giovanni D’Antonio will smile at you again. But he doesn’t. Instead, he turns towards the shadows of the room.

“What do you see, Santino?”

You still. You’ve been so preoccupied with keeping yourself awake and lucid, with keeping your whole attention on this man without scruples normal people have that—

It comes rushing back.

The grave, the smell of dirt beneath your cheek, rain, the coldness sinking deep into your bones, green eyes—

He was the one who found you. You have no idea how; a part of you doesn’t want to know, either.

He’s changed as well. His frame stretches taller, leaner, than the last time you saw him. His hair is slightly longer but still curly and neatly combed. That boyish roundness still holds his features, giving him an appearance of a youth instead of a young man and you stare at him with open, dazed animosity.

But there is something about the way he watches you from the shadows.

His pupils are blown wide open when he steps closer into the light, his shoulders coiled with tension that you have no name for.

He gazes at you like he is looking at something beautiful, something terrible, something—

Something he admires and hates and doesn’t understand.

No one has ever looked at you like that. Like they’re seeing right into you, through you, pulling apart every weakness and every strength.

That anger in your chest ignites at the sight of him, washing away the emptiness and the loss.

“A monster.”

It seizes a part of you. Cracks it to pieces.

You hate him, you hate him, you hate the fact that he—

That he sees you. Just like last time, just like now.

Giovanni’s eyebrows rise slowly at his son’s blunt assessment. He peers at Santino for a pensive moment before the boy finally drags his eyes towards his father, almost reluctantly so.

“Loyalty to yourself, was it, girl?” the man wonders calmly and takes another drag of his cigar. It’s almost gone now and black spots dance in your vision as you watch him tilt his chin upwards and exhale another lazy puff of smoke. “Give me your hand.”

You stare at him blankly, uncomprehending, almost nauseous now.

Giovanni turns his stern face back towards you and holds out his own large hand. “Your hand.”

His voice is eerily serene but it locks your muscles with fear. Like an animal being hunted down, even with your hazy, sluggish mind you still recognise the danger crowding in.

But what’s the alternative?

Your hand shakes but you hold it out, setting your jaw taut.

“I reward loyalty,” Giovanni reminds evenly, grasping your hand in his. His hold feels so cold you shiver. “But you still killed ten able bodies. Bodies I will now have to replace.”

“Father—”

Giovanni jerks your hand, palm up, and sinks his cigar right into the skin of your palm, burning right through the thin bandage.

Agony.

Splitting, sickening agony—

A sound that tears out of your throat is hardly human but the man has your arm in an iron-like grip; unmoving, bruising. You collapse face-first onto the cot, your scream growing silent and choked as you jerk weakly, unable to swallow your own spit.

Your hand is numb from a piercing, acute sort of pain.

Giovanni hums under his breath, and you feel him turn the cigar into your skin, making you yelp and twitch. “I hope you live,” he states coldly and pushes the cigar deeper into your palm, just once, before he drops your hand back onto the sheets. “There are a great many things I can do with that ice in your heart, gasoline girl.”

You don’t hear him rise over the sound of your pain. Your hand is spasming but you can’t look at it, can’t focus—

The door slams shut with a deafening bang and then—

Someone is speaking; hushed and soft, their hands on you, almost—

You barely manage to pull yourself over the edge of the cot and throw up before everything goes dark.

. . .

You’re burning.

There is a raging fire in your lungs and veins.

Your head is being held under a liquid flame, and you inhale it as it slithers down your throat, suffocating you.

You want to drag your nails down your body to get rid of the burn but you can’t. Someone—

Someone is holding you down and your lips part, a wounded sound slipping free. Why can’t you just be free?

A heavy weight pushes down on you and you try to fight it off, try to—

“Stop moving,” a voice urges, breathless but annoyed. “Stop—”

You think that you might be crying or screaming or both.

You’re burning.

There is no relief.

Not for a long time.

. . .

“Will she live?”

“It’s hard to say right now. The infection—”

An inpatient exhale. “I know what her condition is,” an irritated voice snaps. “I want to know if she will live.”

“I will try my hardest to save her.”

A lengthy pause follows. “No,” the voice speaks again, but this time with such soft malice that you shiver again. ��My father wants her alive and so she will live. Or you will find yourself without a head, dear doctor. As will your family.”

. . .

Cool fingers brush against your hair.

“Lucie?” you rasp weakly and try to open your eyes.

Everything blurs around you so you let them close again.

Sickness cramps your stomach and you shiver for what seems like the hundredth time.

Still, the sensation of a glass pressing against your lips registers. Urgent, insistent. “Drink.”

It’s an order. Spoken by someone who is used to being listened to, obeyed, heeded.

You don’t want to but you’re so thirsty. There’s a painful itch in your lungs and you inhale again, deafened by the crackling in your lungs. Whatever it is that you’re wearing clings to your body in a sweaty, uncomfortable mess and you almost sigh when those cool fingers return. They press against your cheek, turning your head and the glass returns.

This time, you force your cracked lips to part and refreshing wetness slides down your throat seconds later. Flinching, you force yourself to swallow. The sensation is like a knife being forced down your chest but you bear it.

The fingers tilt your chin. “Slowly.”

You manage another few, shaky mouthfuls before your strength escapes you.

“Are you—”

The fragility of your own cracking voice might have disgusted you once. There had been plenty of times in the past when you had seen and heard Fredricko peeling back peoples’ fingernails to get the information he needed. That often resulted in such weakness—such fragility. Now though—

“Are you…”

Something freezing cold and wet comes to rest against your forehead and you sigh, gasping slightly. A wet cloth. A miracle, perhaps. It soothes the burning and the itch. It trails down your forehead and jaw and neck. Brushes over your dry lips, too. You almost sob in relief, making a miserable little whine at the back of your throat.

“Are…”

A quiet hum. “Am I what?”

“An angel?”

The cloth disappears for a few moments and you curl into a ball, silently willing it to come back.

A few moments later, mercifully, it does. As does the voice. “No.”

You lean into the refreshing cold again. Try to hide your disappointment, too.

The cloth presses against your forehead and stays there. A beat. Then, fingers ghost over your tightly clenched hand. Your other hand—

There is only numbness there.

An odd sense of fear follows that foggy observation. Like you’re forgetting something you shouldn’t—something important.

The fingers are delicate and careful but they help. They pacify that nameless, gnawing dread.

“Would you like me to be?”

There is a long moment in which you have no idea what the voice is asking. But your muddy mind finally manages to claw back a recollection of your earlier question.

An angel.

You think that the owner of this voice is an idiot.

He no doubt thinks that you mean a guardian angel. Something holy, fierce, and divine.

But you had meant the Angel of Death. Finally here to take you. Finally here to reunite you with those you have lost.

But is there any difference anymore?

You’ve been half-dead and half-alive for years now.

A foot on the doorway to death ever since that fateful night. You have embraced it though. Bargained and stolen and killed. What you did for Lucie was just a fraction, you think through the delirium, just a fraction of what you can do.

You will turn that ice in your heart into a blade, and that blade you will use to cut down anyone in your path.

No half-measures, no mercy. You will be as terrible as they want you to be.

You will be the most terrible thing they have ever seen.

And when it’s done.

Oh, when it’s done.

You will set it all on fire and watch it burn.

“Yes.”

The fingers pause, hovering. Then they wrap around your still clenched hand. Slow but purposeful.

And the tightness of that grip makes you think that your hand will never be your own again.

. . .

an: wellllllllllllll, here’s that! Warning you all now that, yes, this story will get even more twisty and Santino/V will be hate-to...uh...love? We’ll see, I guess lol. Some familiar faces will appear in the future, too. And, uh, maybe some smuttiness is on the cards as well but you know how I roll - nothing too wild or explicit because this clown sucks at nsfw.

Also because I have no idea when or how often this mini-series will be updated, I will be opening up a tag list for this series ONLY (I rarely do them because they’re often more work than they’re worth). So please feel free to comment or send me a message and I’ll add you. Thank you so much for reading!! Any feedback would be swell. <33

#santino d'antonio x reader #santino d'antonio #john wick fic #john wick #john wick imagine #riccardo scamarcio #fic: flowing in me #s: i can wait

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