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ma1dita · 9 months ago

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love like a blister

the five stages of loving losing luke

a ‘partners in crime’ installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 4.7k

summary: (post-tlt) set directly after lovers, or partners in crime; The one where you learn to mourn someone even if they're still alive. Loving him and losing him are one and the same; the aftermath of his betrayal. this work references a lot of previous works in the series! (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

a/n: yeah… yall been asking for this so buckle up. luke is not present in this one, moreso you/trouble dealing with the after. i let annabeth breakdown a bit since ep 8 was amazing but felt choppy to me. this is not the end of the trouble!verse i promise!!

(posted 2/12/24, betaed by mootie lari @mrsaluado)

—

DENIAL - bursting under pressure

we grew up together, what do you mean you grew into a person i can’t love?

Annabeth and Percy find you standing at the edge of the forest clearing—staring at the space where you let the love of your life vanish into thin air.

You let him leave.

It’s almost harrowing when the three of you make eye contact, not a single weapon in your possession, only your dying lantern and heart bleeding with the confirmation of Luke’s betrayal.

Knees shaking as Annabeth stalks over and her sword still raised with tears in her eyes, she’s no longer Luke’s little sister but a formidable warrior set on protecting camp—on protecting Percy.

And you failed in doing either of those things you promised yourself at the beginning of this summer because you ignored the signs of Luke’s behavior— until this very moment. There’s a pressure in your head that dampens your senses, overtaking the control you have over your being as you deny any knowledge of what happened tonight.

Because in truth, you put the pieces together at the same time they did, just a little too late. She looks at you now with the fury she wasn’t able to project on the real traitor.

“You knew,” she grits her teeth, on the defensive as Percy scrambles up from the ground.

“Annie, I…”

Percy stares at you in horror, a few steps back with Riptide in his injured grasp, and suddenly he understands what it means to see you break. They both feel it instantly as your lantern goes out. Heavy despair drapes over all of you as the madness rips its way through your body, almost breaking through your skin as it emanates through the air. The two children had never felt anything like it before, swords shaking in their hands as they’re filled with the sensation until it bubbles over and they can’t do anything but watch you, their usually poised head counselor lose your grip on reality.

But this can’t be real.

Out of all of the plans you both made, it was never deemed a possibility that Luke wouldn’t be there with you. Now you stand in the darkness of the forest, hands raised in surrender to a crime you didn’t commit.

There’s so much pressure and it hurts holding it all in, hurts so badly—everywhere until you scream.

“DAD!”

You stare at their small faces surrounding you in anguish, both of them talking but not a single word registers in your mind as you keep shaking your head and screaming for your father for the first time in your life. Before the words the words can form between your lips again Dionysus is there, not as an immortal god but carrying the wrath of a protective father, and there are no forces that can fight against that.

It all moves fast from there, black spots blurring your vision brought by the sheer strength of your tears. Though you don’t feel strong right now, instead there’s nothing that can describe the feeling but hurt as you’re frozen in pain.

The kids watch Mr. D check you for any injuries, but what they’ll never understand is that the wounds Luke left behind are on the inside, and you are bleeding. He shushes you, but the words fight their way out of your mouth, almost in disbelief. “Did I do that to him?”

Your father scoops you into his arms, godly strength and fatherly concern surfacing as he cradles you like a little girl like he should have all those years ago.

The haze clears as Mr. D quells the misery that reverberates through the air and it’s quiet again as your eyes fall shut. For a moment, Percy can’t help but wonder if this is another performance of yours, another way to throw him off of the traitor’s scent. But as your hand falls out from under Mr. D’s arm, he grabs onto it anyway. The son of Poseidon remembers how you and Luke always looked at each other like you were equals, and realizes that for once, the actress was outplayed at her own game.

ANGER - words leaking like an abscess

i never knew loving someone so much would be a crime

There isn’t a protocol set in place for when one of your cabin counselors and all-star campers defects with plans to wage war on the gods. There is even less of a precedent set in place for when the head counselor and daughter of the camp director is left to pick up the pieces, hands dirtied by the evidence he left behind. Perhaps your job description was never truly clear anyway.

All you know now is that you’ve been sitting in a rickety wooden chair in your dad’s office for hours now, tied up—for formalities.

This must be your punishment from the gods for every way you were different. Maybe if you were braver, maybe if you didn’t force yourself to only see the good in him, maybe then maybe, he could’ve been saved too. Surely undoing all of that would be considerably less painful than being questioned by everyone you love about the one you love.

For once you didn’t have any good answers.

“Like I said to Chiron. I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know what? Use your big girl words. Just do the right thing, like you always say!” Clarisse barks in your face. The centaur tuts at the daughter of Ares, making her step back and cross her arms. The boys are more silent but still suspicious, and Lee asks if you really thought Clarisse was the traitor.

“I didn’t. I was the last one to know,” you grit, looking at Percy who surveys you with hesitant eyes, “I just thought Luke was leaving. I didn’t know why.”

“How do we know you’re not working for Kronos too?”

One of them says it, you’re losing track as to who when you blink hard and long, but the words spill out of you like a festering wound— fast, acidic, and painful.

“Do you REALLY think I could turn my back on my home? My friends? Is that how you all think of me? After everything!”

“You’d do anything for that boy and we all know it,” Silena says with a scowl very unlike her, though you suppose everyone’s out of sorts from exhaustion.

“Not that. That’s where him and I are different. I would never be able to do that.”

You think you hear Silena bite back a sob as she turns away from you, not meeting your eyes.

Mr. D was unable to judge you since you were his only daughter. He’s been gone most of the night and you feel so alone even if the room is filled with familiar faces that don’t even want you here. Charles, Percy, Lee, Clarisse, Silena, Katie stand still as they judge you— Annabeth didn’t even come to the Big House, her mind probably already made up.

Chiron says there will be a vote, the procedural way—like how you taught the cabin counselors how to handle disagreements, though they were never expecting to vote on your dismissal from camp. Tensions are high, some rightfully angry at the war looming over your heads, others looking at you with pity from the other corner of the room. All of them, your friends, still, you hope.

6 votes, since you and Luke didn’t count, and Annabeth’s abstention. They did it outside, away from your view and you sit in the silence of the office, angry at what’s become of you. Tainted and tarnished, you don’t bother to find out who voted what, knowing things won’t be the same after this.

Your dad comes back a little before dawn, having asked a favor from Apollo to determine your innocence–to prove that you’re telling the truth. But by then, Charles and Lee are already untying you from your chair and you’re being let go. You wonder what changed once they were able to speak without being in your presence. Remaining seated and staring at all of them with your jaw set in stone-cold wrath, Percy thinks for a moment that you look like Luke.

The first rays of light shine through the window upon your sullen frame— a confirmation from the sun god that your heart was always pure. It still feels like a loss. There’s no medal or award for getting left behind, and winning has always been more of Luke’s thing.

You resign from the position of head counselor by the time sunlight spreads across the campgrounds.

BARGAINING - to make yourself new from the inside out

isn’t home the first place you learn to run from?

You catch Percy at the doorstep of cabin 3 before he leaves and your dad is yelling at all the campers.

“Okay! For those of you who are not staying for the full term… get out! You get out. Pack your bags. You’re going home!” Mr. D screams with a twinkle in his eye as he winks at you, patting you on the head before walking away to drive kids out.

“Didn’t think you’d be up,” Percy mumbles, adjusting his backpack over his shoulder. You’d been locked up in your room since the interrogation with almost no signs of life. He was worried about you—all of them were. They just didn’t know how to say it, after everything.

You stood in front of him in sweatpants and a shirt he’s sure he’s seen Luke wear to sleep before, exhaustion prominent on your face; usually you’re better at hiding it, but there’s no need for false pretenses anymore.

“Last day of camp. Had to end it on a good note,” you say softly, biting your lip, “I heard about what you did, Perce. You didn’t have to. I was going to quit anyway.”

Sometime in the past few days, Chiron came to your cabin to tell you they didn’t vote at all, which was a surprise to you. Percy convinced them not to, reminding them of your efforts as head counselor, and as a friend—the decision was settled quickly after that.

“I knew you didn’t betray us. I was just scared.”

You watch him shift his weight, not losing eye contact as he produces a half-smile. He seems older now after his quest, as many demigods do–though it’s only been a few weeks, he looks like he’s grown more sure of himself.

“That’s okay. I was too.”

The silence between you is comfortable as both of you listen to the birds in the trees, the distant voices of chattering children, and your heart hurts at the idea of leaving this, even temporarily. As your eyes flicker back to Percy’s, you realize he feels the same way.

“I hope your mom’s okay, especially after all of this. I just wanted to say goodbye.”

His sandy eyebrows furrow and it’s funny how Percy always looks a little confused.

“You’re leaving camp? I thought…”

“Well I’m not joining Kronos, if that’s what you’re worried about,” you laugh dryly, “It’s getting boring here. Gonna have to change it up soon, I think. See you.” you nod, waving a hand as you turn to walk away.

“Wait!”

Percy calls your name, skipping down the steps of his cabin and meeting you halfway down the forest path. He’s digging through his jacket pocket, and pulls out two black clay beads with blue tridents etched on the surface as your body grows cold.

“I don’t know what to do with—” “We…the other counselors, this is what we ended up voting on. And I thought you should get an extra, just in case,” Percy mumbles, his voice edged with hope and your face contorts into something like regret. You can’t cry again, even if you wanted to.

“I wouldn’t pray for something like that,” you whisper shakily.

“I thought you didn’t really pray at all.”

The kid smiles at you and it makes you wonder what souls like him and Luke must’ve done in their previous lives to deserve fates like this—to fight wars that aren’t their own. To be doomed by the narrative is a treacherous thing, and it is so utterly unfair.

“Yeah. That was more his style,” you sniff, taking the beads out of his hand, “but I still find myself with a lot of hope.”

Hope, in a sense, is prayer too. Wishing that things will be better, manifesting and believing that it doesn’t have to end this way. You don’t think Luke will ever come home to you, not really, not all of him, but it’s nice to have something to hang onto. At his core, he was raised to be a soldier, and soldiers don’t always come home.

You decide to drive Percy down the opposite shore to Montauk. It’s a short ride, and he spends the time looking out the window to the sea, thinking of his father— when the car pulls up to the driveway of the beach house, you step out and give him a hug. Soon, he’ll be taller than you.

“Take care of yourself, okay? Need anything and I’m a call away,” you smile, but he sees that it doesn’t reach your eyes.

“Thank you. For being a real friend, even if it hurts you.”

You grab his shoulder to make him look at you, and the distant sound of crashing waves dampens the thoughts running through your head.

“Listen to me. None of this is your fault. I couldn’t save him. Luke’s my biggest failure.”

Your voice wavers and you swallow hard, pushing the tears back down your throat.

“You know, I knew you didn’t know anything about his betrayal because when we were in the forest, I’d never seen you like that before. I couldn’t figure out the feeling, and–”

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that, Perce. I couldn’t hold it in anymore,” you interrupt, but he shakes his head and continues.

“I thought you were sad. It felt like sadness at first, but then I realized it was hatred. And I knew even then that I could never hate you. So I realized that’s how you felt about yourself. I hope someday you don’t feel that way anymore.”

If a few tears slip down your cheeks, Percy doesn’t pay it any mind. He waves at you when he gets to the door.

DEPRESSION - healing takes thick skin

i knew to love would be to lose my mind

After the summer term ended, you spent most of it in bed, hiding away from the world. You wished to be more spontaneous, to up and leave the safe boundaries of the camp you call home, but you’re not quite there yet.

The one good thing about this is your father. Dionysus was at your bedside every morning and night between the work him and Chiron had to do to keep camp running in your absence. His powerful fingers made themselves comfortable stroking your hair as you always find yourself staring at nothing. Your father cured you of what he thought was madness over your life being turned upside down by someone you love, but after the fog cleared, you were left feeling nothing. Numb to the touch, hardened by your hurt like a growing callous.

Impenetrable.

He thinks it’s bittersweet, getting to know you better as you chat late into the night when you can’t sleep, but it breaks his own heart to have the power of Olympus on his side and still not be able to fix you. He knows now what you must have been feeling these past few months, to some extent.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m dead already,” you mutter as your eyes stare blankly at the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling. Your dad is sitting at your desk as he signs paperwork, and his eyes flicker to a pinned photo on you wall of you kissing Luke’s cheek in a photobooth. One of the pins is missing a memory, torn and stolen away.

“Unfortunately, you’re not that lucky. I carried you out of that forest, I’d know,” he mutters, sipping on his Diet Coke.

“Will it always hurt like this? Losing someone you…” Love.

You can barely even bring yourself to say it, so he sighs and nudges you to move over on the bed, his Hawaiian shirt an eyesore against your bedspread. It makes your lips quirk up to see the god try to fit himself into a full-size as he adjusts to get comfortable.

“Yes. Because if it hurts, it means that it mattered. There is no such thing as love lost if you gave it willingly. You know, your mother and I were never together, but I loved her too.”

He tucks the duvet under your chin like he’s worried you’ll catch a chill. Your form is still unmoving under the covers as he continues.

“Love is a powerful catalyst. The actions humans do after are a product of that; it brings out the best or the worst in people, especially if you think it’s the only way. You love because you want more time with them. You love someone to life, not to death.”

“Silena said something at the Big House. She said that everyone knew I would do anything for him. Where does that leave me? What do I do now?”

Your eyes shut as you feel your dad grab your hand and he chuckles lowly. He knows a thing or two of doing anything for love. He’s gone to the underworld and back—twice, for his mother Semele and his true love, Ariadne. And he’d do it again for you, if he ever had to. “You’re not broken, kid. You’re in love. It’s the purest emotion the gods have bestowed onto humans, and it is a gift, even if it doesn’t work out. Love is insanity. I think you and I know it best.”

“I guess I’m a lot more like you than I like to admit,” you scoff, leaning against his arm.

“Don’t sound so excited, daughter of mine,” he says playfully, and he seems so human now as he laughs. The two of you have a gift of fixing people, but perhaps you were both blind to who needed it the most until this very moment. Sitting there in the quiet a little longer, it doesn’t feel so bad to be the favorite daughter of Dionysus. Maybe when you’re ready to get out of these walls, you’ll be able to say it with pride.

ACCEPTANCE - to be soft again takes strength

in another life, we would’ve mattered more than choosing sides

“He always hated it when you smoked, you know.”

You cough through a puff, boots slightly slipping in the sleet of the gravel driveway as you turn to face Annabeth. Besides the fact that her father’s house is grander than anything you could ever imagine yourself living in, there’s a large distance between the two of you as she stands on the steps, the box you left on the doorstep slowly being dotted with falling snow. You left the car running, thinking she wouldn’t want to see you after everything that’s happened.

“Well he probably hates a lot of things about me now,” you say grimly.

It’s been a growing habit to want to feel something, the rush of nicotine through your bloodstream—even if it’s bound to rip years off your life. It doesn’t really matter as much anymore.

I hate a lot of things about me too, you think, remembering a white house on a hill even if it was a distant dream— these thoughts all go up in smoke as you watch her sit down on the stoop waiting for you to come sit down with her.

Your hands fidget as you find a place next to her, putting out the cigarette on the red brick as the ash falls onto your chipped nail polish. It burns, but Annabeth watches you, the both of you stone-faced.

“What made you drive all the way out here?”

She opens the box and tries to hide a shaky breath at it’s contents but the vapor in the air betrays her. You can still tell a thing or two about people acting, but you’re never too sure anymore.

“I got a few days off from class. Dad Iris messaged me, told me there were new kids in 11 who needed bunks, so… he thought it was time. It was sitting in my room when I got there.” She notices you call Mr. D your dad now, but doesn’t say much of it. She’s also getting used to calling her father that after all these years.

You pull out the quilt you gave Luke the night before you got claimed, a faded pink and purple pattern worn from the years of use and wrap it around her shoulders. It still smells like him, citrus and musk and something darker that hangs over your heads and she sniffles.

“So you’re a college girl now, huh? Never thought you’d do it,” Annabeth mumbles, still not looking at you as her eyes scan through what was hidden underneath the fabric. Luke never had much he held close to his heart, and it’s funny to think his two prized possessions were staring down into a box trying to find the meaning of it all.

“Yeah, me neither,” you sigh. It should’ve been an insult, but you know what she means.

Not without him.

There’s a lot that you promised each other, but you find yourself doing it all alone–because you have to. The world does not wait for for anyone, even if you beg for it to.

“It’s not a big deal, I’m still on the Island, just…not at home. Just trying to keep myself busy.”

Her hand picks up a polaroid of the two of them—he’s smiling as she peers over his shoulder.

“I think it’s great. You’re too hard on yourself sometimes.”

Other memories are scattered in the box including a leather bracelet, a compass, unsent letters to his mom, and photos of happier days back when all of your hearts were softer. There’s not much to split between the two of you.

A black clay bead rolls to the inner corner, indicative of this year’s events and painted with turquoise like the eyes of a certain son of Poseidon that now crosses the both of your minds.

“Percy gave it to me before he left for the city, for him. In case.”

You swallow loudly, and you watch her braid it onto the leather cord and tie it around your wrist. Her fingertips are cold as she nods, “In case.”

“You’ve been looking for him, haven’t you?” The movement your head makes is almost imperceptible—not a nod nor a shake, but the daughter of Athena knows you too well by now. She knows you because Luke did too, once upon a time.

“Think I’m trying to find myself now. If he’s still a part of that I don’t know what that says about me.”

The two of you sit there on the stoop of the Chase mansion catching up on the past 7 months even if the both of you can still feel the wall of his memory between you. She doesn’t invite you in to meet her family despite the weather—hesitant to let her mother’s side of life bleed into the new normal she’s created for herself, and you can’t blame her one bit. The both of you have been at war with each other and with yourselves since the end of the summer, when in reality you both know what it’s like to protect the little you have to hang onto and what it feels like to be left behind. Survival mode, until the end.

“Why do you think he did it? I mean, I know why, but…”

Why weren’t we enough?

Annabeth’s mind has always been so brilliant, but sitting in the dim porchlight, you understand now that she’s growing up so quickly. Gone are her baby-soft cheeks, with her cheekbones more prominent as they frame her wise eyes. She’s a teenager now. But Annabeth looks at you like she did long ago, the only person besides Luke who would patiently answer all of her questions. Even if the answers weren’t always what she wanted, you had a way of telling her what she needed to hear.

“I think I’ll be asking the gods why for the rest of my life. And even if they ignore me like they did him, or give me an answer that’s worth the balance of the world, I’ll still never be able to understand it.”

The snow is falling harder now, but neither of you seem to notice. It’s stuck in your hair, dusting your eyelashes as you sit and stare out at the front lawn. She tells you about school, her family, Percy and Grover, and the things you’ve missed about her so deeply—and for a moment you feel like you can be her older sister again, someone who can keep her secrets. Partially, you left home because everyone either doubted you or thought you as fragile. Annabeth always tells you what she’s truly thinking— it’s a breathe of fresh air to let yourself just be.

“I’ve never not had the last word when it comes to him, y’know? I guess I have nothing more to say though.”

You both huddle together for warmth under the quilt, sharing secrets and memories of him, things others wouldn’t understand.

“You know that’s not true,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes, and her smile is as bright as the snowflakes in her ebony tresses.

“What I do know is that you know too damn much,” and you both start giggling softly, teary eyed and feeling what you’ve been keeping in for months now, from each other and the rest of the world.

“I’m sorry,” she mutters suddenly, and your name falling from Annabeth’s mouth sounds almost as unfamiliar as her apologizing. It shouldn’t have to have been like this. You’re not going to lose the only person who remembers him like you do, who hurts like you.

“Me too.”

She leans her head on your shoulder like how she would when you used to sing her to sleep, and deep down Annabeth knows that she won’t let the only good part of her brother go either. What tore the two of you apart brings you back together, because if you don’t have him you still have each other.

The door to the estate opens up slowly, it’s well-oiled hinges silent like the two sad girls’ whispers. Dr. Chase steps out to see you two illuminated by the light of his home, hand in hand over a box of memories and wrapped in a pink and purple quilt that Annabeth will hold close to her like she does her mother’s hat.

“You two ladies causing trouble?” he smiles, his eyes wild with a thirst to know more and it’s a look you’ve seen his daughter give you one too many times.

You can’t help but chuckle at the irony and though he means well, the all-consuming feeling that comes with the name, Luke’s name for you– ignites in your heart once more. No one will ever call you trouble again, not in the way he did. It burns like alcohol running through your veins almost unendurable and you want to will it away, but Annie’s patting your arm as she tries to stifle the flames with her cold fingers.

“Her?” she says knocking her shoulder against yours, “ Always.”

Annabeth laughs, and that too, reminds you of him but it doesn’t hurt as much anymore, your body still warm in the winter Virginia air. You feel your chest shake and suddenly you’re laughing and it’s crazy and loud and maniacal and so you that you can barely see Annabeth through the tears rolling down your cheeks. It cuts around the dead skin that’s encapsulated your being these past few months, revealing something brand new—much softer, even if it’s still tender to the touch.

It’s still you, still hurting, but choosing to live despite it.

Because you have to.

—

“Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do. Being loved by you is the hardest.“

- Ari B. Cofer

luke taglist (some won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @b0ok-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen @nininehaaa @bradynoonswife @stevenknightmarc @hoodedhavok @happy-mushrooms @homebyeleven @anotherblackreader @too-deviant @liviessun @lilacspider @theadventuresofanartist @sucker4seresin @simpforsunwoo @zanzie @starrystormwritings

#luke castellan x dionysus!reader #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan angst #pjo x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #made by ma1dita ♥︎#trouble!verse #thank you for reading my love ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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alloftheimagines · 2 years ago

Text

joel miller | don't let me drown

masterlist | taglist | ko-fi

words: 2.4k

warnings: drowning, hurt/comfort, angst, lil bit of nude cuddling for warmth reasons but nothing steamy, strong language, inspired by ep six but i changed it up so the bridge is unsteady for the purposes of *drama*. hint towards age-gap with reader in their thirties. they/them pronouns. no y/n.

synopsis: in which the reader falls into the river of death, and it's joel's job to save you and find shelter. featuring ellie. not requested!

You used to think snow was pretty. Magical, even. Now, you only think it’s a bitch to travel through, especially on foot with the harsh mountain winds blowing off the river.

Of course, you can’t complain because the fourteen-year-old and fifty-six-year-old aren’t, and you’re probably supposed to be fitter than the two of them put together. But inside… fuck. You’re exhausted, freezing, and desperate to get to your next destination so you can sleep on something other than ice and mud.

When the bridge comes into view, relief washes through you. If you can get away from the open water, maybe the winds won’t be so biting and you’ll finally be able to feel your cheeks again. You puff out a visible breath and glance at Joel, who is both pale and rosy-cheeked from the cold. Ellie follows behind, watchful as ever. You can’t imagine what it must be like for her, trekking so far from where she began. Seeing so much. It’s been rough on all of you, but you’ve made it through together. Whatever comes next should be a breeze.

“Keep a lookout,” Joel warns, poising his handgun and nodding at you to do the same. You’ve been warned that nothing good can be found by the river, and it’s left an unsettling silence between you since you started your journey.

You dip your head, preparing your own gun as Ellie does the same. But if anything is here, you don’t see it — not on this side of the bridge or the other. It’s a rickety old thing, but if it gets you across… it’ll do.

“C’mon,” he grunts. The bridge creaks beneath your feet, and you follow Joel’s footsteps to avoid any weak spots. Until gunshots sound somewhere in the distance. You all jump, but it’s you who loses your footing as a chunk of rotten wood disappears beneath your feet. Before you can find something to grab onto, you’re falling, screaming, clutching thin air. Joel yells your name with a fear you haven’t heard in a while, but his voice is lost as the rushing water swallows you up.

Freezing. So cold it makes you burn. The river turns your world grey and endless, as though you’re floating in a void. You thrash, trying to kick up to the surface, but the shock is jolting through you, making you numb, and you can’t remember how to use your limbs.

You cough and gulp down an unbearable amount of water, and that’s when you know. There’s no air, no way of making your lungs work. They just keep burning, squeezing for something that no longer exists. Your vision goes blurry and then disappears completely.

***

Joel watches it in slow motion. The splintering bridge. The fall. The ripple in the river as it chews you up and doesn’t spit you out. He doesn’t realise he’s screaming your name, doesn’t realise he’s even running, until he reaches the other side of the bridge.

“Stay there!” he orders Ellie with a warning finger, fear ricocheting through his voice, through the trees. You’re gone is all he can think. You’re gone, and he can’t fucking do this without you.

His knees ache as he half-sprints, half-slips down the embankment, kicking snow into the river. After shucking off his shotgun and placing it down, he takes off his jacket in a moment of clarity, knowing you’re going to need something warm. And then he’s plunging into the river, cursing at its low temperature. His teeth chatter as he shouts your name, searching for any sign in the steadily flowing water. But there’s nothing. He dives under when he gets closer to the bridge, skin becoming ice as he searches the murky depths.

He has to come up for air twice before he finds you sinking to the riverbed. He’s never moved so fast, snatching you up in both arms and pulling you to the surface. You’re deadweight in his arms, and panic lances through him when he finds you’re eyes closed.

He calls your name again, urgency sharpening his words as he pulls you to the embankment. Despite his orders, Ellie waits there, eyes wide and afraid. He doesn’t have time to scold her. He’s too busy carrying you out, water pooling at his feet as he staggers to solid ground and lays you down.

“Baby?” He shakes you, droplets falling from his face and onto yours as he kneels over you. “Come on. Come on, baby.”

He presses an ear to your chest: finds no sign of breathing.

“Shit.” He begins compressions then, counting to thirty before giving you mouth to mouth. Your lips are ice cold, and so are his, his knuckles reddening as he presses the heel of his hand down again and again and again. “Come on. Come on. Breathe.”

“Joel,” Ellie whispers, terror in her voice.

He squeezes his eyes closed, unable to face what it means. What might be happening. He isn’t losing you today. Not any day. “Come on. Come back to me. Come back to me, darlin’.”

Your breath gutters, and instinct has him rolling you onto your side as you cough up more water than any person should be able to.

“Fuck,” he’s saying, rubbing warmth into your shoulders. “Ellie, grab my coat.”

She does, and he wraps it around your quivering body before pulling you close. “I got you,” he’s whispering. “I got you, darlin’. I'm here."

More coughs leave you, and he brushes your hair off your forehead to look for any sign of injury. Your lips are blue, and it terrifies him. Cold water shock can kill, and the way you went under… Shit, it’s a miracle you’re here, upright.

You’re shivering so violently that he knows the worst isn’t over. Hypothermia. Pneumonia. Those are just some of the things he’ll have to watch for. He can’t take you anywhere like this, can’t protect Ellie or you, but you can’t stay here either. You need to warm up. You both do.

“We need to find shelter. Somewhere to light a fire and get warm.”

“I saw some rock overhangs deeper in the woods,” Ellie said.

“Can you grab the bags?”

“Yeah.” She slips a backpack on each shoulder and then props Joel’s shotgun under her arm. Not ideal, but he can’t think about that now either. Not when you’re barely opening your eyes.

He breathes your name and then: “Can you hear me, sweetheart?”

A faint nod.

“Good. That's good. We're gonna get you warm.” He pulls you into his chest, hooking an arm under your knee and the other around your back. You sink into his warmth, but you’re so limp that it terrifies him as he carries you up the embankment, following Ellie’s lead.

Sure enough, she guides you both to a deep overhang beneath snow-topped crags, and he dips his head to fit in the low space. He places you against the wall, already unravelling the bed rolls.

“Get a fire going,” he says. He’s certain that he had a few matches left last time he checked, and Ellie rifles through his bag before producing them. With shaky hands, she gathers a pile of sticks and surrounds them by rocks just like he taught her before lighting the match and letting it spread.

The twigs are damp and produce a lot of smoke, but sure enough, an amber glow lights the dark shelter a moment later.

“That’s it. Good,” he whispers.

Ellie glances at your hunched form warily. You’re so pale, so cold you’re practically convulsing. “Are they gonna be okay?”

“Have to be,” Joel mutters. He slips off your sopping wet coat and sweater, and Ellie turns away as he gets rid of the rest.

“You still with me?” he asks you.

You hum in response, folding into yourself in your nudity.

“Here.” Covering her eyes, Ellie hands him a spare long-sleeved shirt and a pair of sweats from her own pack, luckily from Bill’s stash of adult clothes.

“Thanks,” he replies, urging your arms up so he can slip on the shirt. It’s an uncomfortable ordeal with your clammy skin, but he needs you warm. Now. Even when you groan, skin no doubt stinging painfully. “I know. I know. I’m sorry.”

He has to pull you up for the sweatpants, and then he’s rolling thick thermal socks onto your feet and tucking you into blankets and bedrolls. “How’s that? Feel warmer?”

You shake your head, and he helps you shuffle closer to the fire.

“Now?”

A nod that has him relieved. He can’t help but place a kiss on your damp forehead, realising too late that he’s cold and shivering too. He only has another flannel in his backpack, though, and he can survive until he’s at least gotten you warm. Protecting you from his damp clothes using the bedroll, he wraps his arms around you to keep in the heat.

“Gave me a damn heart attack,” he mumbles into your hair, squeezing his eyes closed to chase away the darkness creeping in. The thought of losing you. All the other scenarios where you didn’t end up here with him after the fall. He should have been smarter. Shouldn’t have taken you across that damn bridge.

The ghost of a smile crosses your flame-lit face. “Sorry." And then: "You’re… cold too,” you rasp between shivers. “Get in here.”

He glances at Ellie. No way in hell is he going to strip off with her here. As though understanding, she raises her brows and shifts away. “I’m going to go find out if bears really do shit in the woods.”

“Don’t go away,” he orders. “Just… give us a couple minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” She disappears, and her crunching footfalls outside keep his concern at bay.

His concern for her, at least. Your face still lacks colour, your breaths sounding watery and wrong even now. He grinds his teeth, reluctant to pull away from you for even a minute. But if he dries off, he can give you his body heat, so he quickly tears off his clothes and replaces them with the one dry shirt he owns. He doesn’t bother buttoning it up, instead crawling into the bedroll with you and enveloping you in an unyielding hold. You lean against him, eyelids drooping but shivers finally beginning to ease.

He begins to warm up after a few minutes and can only hope you are too. When he notices your eyes closed, he stiffens. “You still with me, darlin?”

“Think so,” you murmur, your cool hands travelling across his bare chest. He tries not to flinch as he directs them up to his chest. His mouth. He kisses your knuckles before cupping his own hands around yours and blowing. Then, he rubs, generating friction.

“Keep talking to me,” he pleads.

“‘Bout what?”

“Anything.” Anything, as long as you don’t leave me. As long as you stay. “What was your favourite book growing up?”

You were barely fifteen when the pandemic hit all those years ago, but you smile as you remember that old bookshelf your dad put together full of worn paperbacks. “You don’t read, Joel. You wouldn’t know even if I told you.”

“So tell me about it.” He’s still using his hands, pushing feeling back into your body bit by bit.

“I’m okay,” you whisper finally. “I’m okay, Joel. I’m gonna be okay.”

“I know that.” But he won’t stop, won’t give up, even when your cheeks turn pink once more. God, he’s missed the way you glow like that, the way it looks brighter in the snow.

You take a ragged breath. “I liked Gulliver’s Travels.”

“Yeah? Who’s that by?”

“Joel…” Your eyes flutter shut. “Please. I’m tired. I’m warm. I’m okay.”

But he can’t trust it after he’s just put breath back into your lungs; can’t trust it to stay there. He holds you tighter, placing a gentle, terrified kiss into your hair, even if he’ll never admit that he is terrified. That he can’t breathe if you’re not breathing. He realised that the moment he jumped into the river without caring if it got him killed too.

You’re all he has to hold onto, and he could never let you drown.

“I just need… I need you to keep talking to me for a little longer, baby. Just until I know you’re okay,” he says.

“Okay.” So you tell him about your favourite book, drifting in and out of the conversation. Soon, you stop shivering against him and the bedroll warms with two sets of body heat, just as he’d hoped. The fire keeps up until Ellie finally comes back to refuel it with more sticks, offering Joel a smirk that he returns with a gentle glare. You barely seem to notice, still muttering.

“Sounds like a great story,” he says finally. “I think Sarah had that one.”

“Yeah.” You smile, cheeks swelling this time as you nestle into his chest. But then you cough, and he frowns. God, is this what it’s gonna be like now? One cough’ll leave him frozen with fear?

“I can read you guys a great book!” Ellie volunteers, and of course pulls out her pages of puns.

Joel groans. You chuckle, and his heart warms at the sound.

“Tell me the one with the penguins again,” you ask.

Ellie grins and flips through the pages, and you get a million more cheesy puns that make you laugh until you can no longer hold your head up. You’re certain Joel’s bare chest ripples with stifled amusement at some points.

“Joel?” you ask as Ellie turns the page.

“Yeah.”

“I’m so tired.”

Another wave of dread. He masks it clearly, examining your features. You look and feel warm, and you sound like you. If you need the rest, he can’t keep asking you not to take it for his own selfish reasons. For his own pathetic fear.

Finally, he surrenders. “Okay, darlin’. Get some sleep. We all need it.”

“Night,” Ellie says, getting comfortable in her sleeping bag.

Your eyes shut instantly and don’t open again, but your chest rises and falls smoothly against your interlocked hands. He listens to it as the shelter quietens, the fire getting lower. He listens all night just to make sure you’re still breathing. When light returns the next morning, he finds Ellie has done just the same, wide awake and unwilling to tear her gaze away from the two of you.

“They’re okay, right?” she asks.

Joel can only hope that it’s the truth when he says, “Yeah. They’re okay.”

“Good.” She nestles into her makeshift pillow — her backpack. “You’re a real grouch when they’re not around.”

He rolls his eyes, tempted to point out that he is always a grouch, though Ellie’s right. He needs you. He will always need you.

And god, he hopes he never comes close to losing you like that again.

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zukosdualdao · 6 months ago

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(forgive the somewhat poor quality screenshots, especially on that third one. wifi is still out at my place post-storm so i took these from youtube and am writing from my phone. alas, alack.)

this is one of my favorite blink-and-you’ll-miss-it facial expression moments in atla. the animators 100% did not have to include this reaction shot of katara, sokka, and suki watching zuko rise back up on one of the war blimps and face off with azula, but i’m really glad they did. i also love the differences in their reactions.

suki’s is the most straightforward to me. she and sokka share similar posture, both of them leaning forward slightly and bracing an arm against appa’s saddle to support themselves. but suki looks almost disdainful, with her eyes narrowed and brow heavily quirked and sort of defiant. i think she’s a lot more focused on the azula of it all, since azula captured her and just last episode she was saying how “this is a rematch [she’s] been waiting for.”

sokka shares suki’s posture but katara’s wide eyes here. his mouth isn’t agape, but it is parted, suggesting in this context some amount of surprise or worry. though they’re all waiting to see what happens, there’s more of an air of�� excitement isn’t the right word, because i do think he’s concerned, but anticipation, maybe, of the fight that’s about to come. he fought azula with zuko last ep, after all, and though i do think he’s worried for zuko here, i also get the sense that he has a lot of belief in zuko’s ability to fight her off at this point.

katara’s definitely registering the most shock, with her wide eyes, mouth open in surprise, and raised eyebrows. the most notable thing about this, of course, is that she was only minutes ago deriding zuko for pushing her out of the way of falling rocks, and now her expression actually suggests a lot of concern for him, which is reinforced by her pulling him onto appa’s saddle once he and azula fall. i keep wondering what exactly she’s so shocked about, though. at first i thought it was because they saw him fall and were surprised along with azula to see him alive and still ready to fight—but they were getting everyone onto appa and trying to figure out how to flee, so i’m not sure they would have seen. aang did seem very concerned when zuko told them to go on without him, so it’s possible they weren’t really expecting him to survive in general, even without seeing him fall. (which, fair. facing off against his set-on-murdering him sister alone does not seem conducive to zuko surviving.) but i also wonder if it has something to do with seeing zuko fight azula on their behalf considering the contrast it makes to his siding with azula in tcod. there, he chose azula’s side and katara felt betrayed, which is why she hasn’t been able to forgive him even as he proves he’s on their side. but here, he’s risking his own life to protect them, and while he’s done that before with combustion man, i think this is the first time katara is able to consciously acknowledge to herself that it’s not really about trust anymore. (but later, that only makes her angrier, because she’s still hurt, even though she knows he’s on their side, because she connected with him and wanted to trust him all the way back in tcod.)

#atla #zutara #the southern raiders #zuko #katara #sokka #suki #body language thoughts and feelings #as ever note that these are my interpretations and things that are said declaratively are still to be taken with a grain of salt #also very possible i’m over-reading all of these expressions lmao #the katara one is most interesting to me but i’m also having the most trouble pinning it down

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lustspren · 1 year ago

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P.S.T EP. 2 | Frost ft Lia

length: 8.6k words✦

Lia & Male Reader (Special Guest: Ryujin).

genres: ass eating, anal, rimming, butt play, shower, daddy kink (ryujin), dirty talk (ryujin), creampie, blowjob, oral sex, ✧

✦✧✦✧✦✧

The night you stayed in the ITZY girls' dorm was much calmer and more enjoyable than you expected. After spending about half an hour just fooling around and making out with Yuna, you went out of the bedroom (in boxers) to go and take a shower for the second time that day. It was a long shower in which you took enough time to be able to calmly meditate on everything that had happened up to now; Definitely going out in public with an idol of that caliber was quite stressful, you had a great time with her in that changing room, but the fact of having to do everything possible to hide her and not have anyone see her was one thing that you really didn't want to repeat.

The fact that you were taking a shower at the house of JYP's second most famous group was something you couldn't quite take in either. You didn't know how to feel at that moment, with the water falling on your head, surrounded by the walls of a bathroom that, aside from not being yours, was at least three times as elegant and expensive as yours. You didn't feel entirely comfortable, but you didn't feel out of place either. Part of it was thanks to the girls and how they had welcomed you so hospitably and carefree into their house, after all you were just a stranger they knew, and you were surprised that they let you spend the night with them without any complaint or discomfort in between, Ryujin had even lent you one of the many oversized sweaters she had for you to wear.

After getting dressed, the first thing you did was go to the living room and sit on the sofa with the girls, who were already waiting for you to start watching the movie. The only one missing there was Yuna, who had come in to bathe after you and who had told you not to wait for her to start watching the movie. Chaery and Ryujin had given you a place in the middle of the two of them, where you stayed until basically the end of the movie, which had been Captain America and the Winter Soldier.

When Yuna came back she couldn't find a better place to sit than on your lap, that didn't bother you, in fact, you felt quite comfy and warm hugging her slim body over her baggy t-shirt. The ones who had been a bit annoyed by that had been the other girls, especially Ryujin, who repeatedly snorted and was dissatisfied with how affectionate she was with you. You couldn't do anything, and you didn't want to do anything about it either, you just found it funny and kinda adorable how she showed her jealousy.

The funny thing is that Yuna didn't even watch the whole movie, she had fallen asleep about 40 minutes before it ended. She hadn't even bothered to hide it, her head resting on your shoulder and her mouth ajar. Lia was also sleepy, but she did last until the end of the movie with great difficulty. When the movie ended, each of the girls went to their respective bedrooms, Yuna and Yeji left together, and then Ryujin, Chaery and Lia left.

You were left completely alone in the living room, sitting on the sofa that Yeji would later help you extend and turn it into a large bed that looked absurdly comfortable. She had also brought you a pillow and a blanket, and she said goodbye to you, saying good night with a little kiss on the cheek. The room suddenly went silent, and all you could hear was the sound of the air conditioner blowing. All the lights were off except for the one in the kitchen, and the only light that illuminated the rest of the room came from outside.

You settled the pillow against the wall, and got on the sofa to cover yourself with the blanket up to your chest. You weren't too sleepy yet, in fact, you thought you had at least 2 more hours of battery life left before going into zombie mode, so you played Brawl Stars on your phone for the next 45 minutes.

The house was incredibly quiet, and hearing a door slam shut on one of the upper floors did not do your heart any good. The scare was only momentary, since you assumed it was just one of the girls going to the bathroom, but after a few seconds, you heard footsteps coming from the hallway of the stairs. Your vision angle didn't allow you to see who it was, but you kept your eyes fixed on the corridor, only for Ryujin to come out at the end.

"For God's sake, you nearly scared me to death," you said aloud for her to hear, and then returned your gaze to the phone.

"Sorry, I swear I didn't mean to slam the door so hard," she replied from the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a carton of milk. She opened it, and drank directly from it before putting it back inside.

"You sure? Sounds like you did it on purpose to me," you exited the game on your phone and to open instagram.

"Maybe, so what?" she walked over to your side of the living room and crossed her arms, leaning against the wall next to the TV.

"Nothing, I'm not judging you, Shin Ryujin," you glanced at her for a second, then back to your phone.

"Are not you sleepy?" she asked.

"Nope, and you?"

"Neither. But there's a reason for that, you know?"

"Oh yeah? And what could it be?" you locked the phone and put it face down on your chest to turn to look at her.

"Are you really going to play dumb with me?" she asked with an incredulous laugh, then she pushed away from the wall and took slow steps until she stood facing the edge of the sofa.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you shook your head, looking to annoy her. She opened her mouth to say something, but then she seemed to think it over, gave a small smirk, and changed it.

"Would you share your blanket with me? It's cold in here," Ryujin raised an eyebrow. You winced in confusion at the sudden change of subject.

"Uh, yeah, sure," you grabbed the left edge of the blanket and pulled it up. Ryujin climbed on the sofa-bed, crawled towards you and got under the blanket, lying next to you, and consequently, on top of your arm. Then you pulled the blanket back down, covering both of you.

"Could you hug me, oppa?" another weird question. She turned to face you. You looked at her for a moment clearly confused, but ended up wrapping your arm around her body, pressing her against you through her long, baggy sweater. She squirmed a little, only to throw her hips back and press her ass against your crotch.

"May I know what you're doing?" By having her closer to her you lowered her voice. Despite being playing fool you played along, slightly moving your hips to rub your bulge against her ass.

"I'm just snuggling with you, I'm still cold, daddy," she said under her breath, "but I'd also like to help you warm up."

"And how do you plan to do that, baby?" you two kept moving your hips slowly, making the rub more and more sensual.

"I don't know, I think you might have the answer to that," Ryujin stopped, and lowered her hands to pull the sweater up to the middle of her abdomen, you didn't feel any other fabric against your bulge, that's when you noticed that she was pressing her bare ass against you. It didn’t surprise you at all.

"Do you sleep naked under this sweater often?" you whispered in her ear, placing a hand on her waist and slowly moving up her abdomen, passing it under her sweater and reaching one of her small tits to give it a light squeeze. Ryujin kept moving her ass against you.

"Mmm..." Ryujin moaned through pursed lips, as you pinched her nipple and massaged her tits, "not usually, but I wanted to prepare myself in case I got extremely horny tonight."

"And how are you right now?" you started giving her small kisses behind her ear, going down the nape of her neck and ending on her neck. Then you lowered your hand from her tits slowly down her abdomen, rubbing her skin with your fingertips until you reached her pussy, which you began to rub with your index and middle fingers.

"Very fucking horny..." Ryujin parted her legs slightly, giving you better access to play with her pussy, "but that's your fault for what you did a few hours ago."

"I take full responsibility for my actions, don't worry," you concentrated on playing with her clit, slowly rubbing it in circles and then occasionally moving down her slit.

"So will you let me play with your cock for a while, daddy?" Ryujin moaned, moving her hips desperate to feel more of your hard erection through the fabric of your boxers.

"Only if you tell me how much you want it," you bit her earlobe, removed your hand from her pussy, brought two fingers to your mouth to salivate them and returned it between her legs, teasing to stick a finger inside her.

"I want it so much daddy," she turned her head to meet your lips just inches away, looked at them, and then looked into your eyes, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about your cock since I sucked it clean at the spa. "

"Then come here so daddy can return the favor," you took your hand from between her legs and brought it to the edge of your boxers, lifting your hips up and bending your knees to remove them from your legs. As soon as she felt your cock press against her ass she pulled the blanket off both of you and got up to turn and lie in the opposite direction, having your cock just inches from the side of her face. You took advantage of the situation to grab her thigh and her waist to put her on top of yours, pull her from her hips and leave her ass floating above your face. You felt Ryujin's hot breath on your cock and then her fingers clinging to the base of it, she wasted no time, and brought your tip to her mouth to start sucking and swirling her tongue around it.

You gasped, and decided not to be left behind. You positioned Ryujin's thighs on either side of your face, squeezing her buttocks apart and pushing her already wet pussy into your mouth. Feeling your tongue start to move up and down her slit, Ryujin moaned against the tip of your cock and pushed a few more inches into her mouth, bobbing her head up and down as she tried to match your pace.

Your licks were combined with intense and fiery kisses between her soft folds, you let go of her buttocks, letting them suffocate you only to cling to her waist and squeeze her flesh between your fingers. Ryujin gradually moaned louder around your shaft, reaching further with her lips with each pump of her head on your cock. She didn't take you out of her mouth for a single second, knowing that her loud moans would be easily heard in every corner of the house if she didn't drown them against something.

She was making your cock all salivary and slippery, you could tell by the slurping sounds that reached your ears and made you want to keep eating her pussy like a hungry dog. You attacked her clit with the tip of your tongue, and once again brought your hands to her buttocks to squeeze them and then give them a strong spank, you didn't control the force, so it wouldn't have been weird at all if the girls in their bedrooms had listened to the impact.

You and Ryujin continued eating each other's intimacy for a few more seconds, until she pulled you out of her mouth and thrust her hips forward to separate her pussy from you.

"Stop it, I need to feel that cock inside me right now," she said, wiping traces of saliva from her mouth with the back of her hand and getting off you to get on all fours.

"You don't have to say it twice," you said, rising up next to her and then kneeling behind her ass. You spread her knees to the sides, pushed her head down so that the side of her face was against the couch, and made her arch her back. You rolled her sweater up, just enough so that you could see as much of her back as possible, and with one hand on her waist, you took your cock and pressed between her folds, slowly pushing forward to enter her pussy inch by inch.

Before she could let out a moan that would give you away to the girls, you grabbed a handful of her hair and buried her face against the couch so she moaned against it as your cock forced its way through her tight pussy.

"Holy fuck!" she screeched as low as she could while she saw you over her shoulder, as you pushed the last few inches inside her.

You didn't bother to hide how delicious the walls of her pussy felt around your cock, you moaned softly, letting your shaft rest inside her for a few more seconds until you put a hand on her waist and began to move your hips hard and deep right away. She brought her fist to her mouth to bite it, desperate to moan but finding herself repressed by the situation you were in. You didn't want her to get hurt, so you grabbed the pillow next to you, held it out to her, and she took it to prop her chin up and muffle her whimpering against it.

The hard crashes of your pelvis against her ass made her buttocks shake her like jelly, and your cock completely went in and out of her soft, warm pussy, which had you gasping with every thrust you gave. Your hips weren't moving half as fast as you could move them to drive her crazy, but you were making sure to do it hard, slamming her pussy all the way in and making her rock back and forth thanks to it.

But as much as you wanted her to feel the full length and thickness of your manhood in every fiber of her body, you were already demanding something more from each other. With both hands resting on her waist, you clung tightly with your fingers against her flesh and rested for a second to start fucking Shin Ryujin just as you knew she was asking for, fast, hard and mercilessly.

If before she was having a hard time stifling her moans against the pillow, now she was clinging to it as if her life depended on it, biting into it with such force that she could have left her teeth buried in between whimpers and grunts. The entire living room was filled with the sounds of her ass being mercilessly pounded by your pelvis, and you were sure that anyone who left their room just to go to the bathroom would have heard some trace that would lead them to suspect that something was going on down there. You thought about it, and it really did become a real concern, but you really weren't too far from reaching your pleasure peak.

Ryujin released the pillow, lifted her head and saw you over her shoulder with her mouth gaping, frowning and gasping as your cock quickly drilled into her pussy. Her body gave a first initial spasm, and then she dropped her face back into the pillow as her orgasm hit her with the force of a 10-meter wave. She raked at her throat with a loud squeal that she muffled against the pillow, and pushed her ass back from her to leave your shaft buried deep inside her as she writhed and trembled.

Feeling her pussy tighten that much around your shaft made you let out another moan. You bit your bottom lip, and leaned forward to push Ryujin's body down, leaving her onto her stomach and pinning her against the couch as you moved your hips frantically again, this time up and down. Your two clenched fists rested on either side of her head, and she looked up to meet your gaze. You locked eyes, and with a few more thrusts, you let out a loud moan as you climaxed.

You exploded inside Ryujin, and as you shot your hot load into her, you dropped down to bury your face in her neck, kissing and biting as you slowly moved your hips.

"That's it daddy… fill my slutty pussy with that delicious load," Ryujin moaned into your ear, gasping and being completely filled with cum. You kept moving very slowly, dumping the last traces of your load into her pussy until you stopped. You sighed, keeping your cock inside her as you controlled your breathing.

"Are you happy yet, Shin Ryujin?" you asked sarcastically, lifting your face slightly to look at her.

"Oh hell nah," she replied with a sexy smile, before giving you a peck on the chin, "not yet, but that will have to wait for my turn."

"As you wish, but please go to sleep, my body is already giving up."

"I would if you'd get your dick out, dork," she pushed her hips up, rocking her ass and your cock inside her. You leaned back on the couch with your hands and pulled your cock out of her pussy, which promptly ejected your thick load in a waterfall of white liquid that spilled onto the couch. You stayed watching the scene for a few seconds, until you separated from her and looked for your boxer.

"You have to clean that up, I'm not going to sleep on my own cum," you said, putting on your underwear. Ryujin tried to push herself up from the sofa, but her legs gave way to the weakness, and she nearly fell to the ground.

"Oops, can I… sleep with you daddy?" she laughed, lying on her side on the edge of the sofa.

"God," you sighed, "whatever, but hold still while I look for paper."

"Yes daddy!" she answered you innocently as you got up from the sofa to walk to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, you took a good amount of kitchen paper and returned to Ryujin. You gave her two sheets to clean herself, and you used the rest to clean the sofa. When you finished, you took the used papers and went to throw them in the trash. When you came back, Ryujin was already settled on the pillow, with the blanket covering her up to her neck and feet outside of it.

"You know that if they see you sleeping with me you'll get in trouble, right?" you asked, getting on the sofa and lying next to her, also covering yourself with the blanket.

"I'm not gonna get in trouble" she said, lying on her side facing you, and snuggling against your chest, "maybe they'll get mad for 5 minutes and then they won't care again," you lay on your side too, and you put your arm around her to keep her warm.

"I'll wake you up at 6 in the morning so you can go to your room, okay?" you took the blanket and covered both of you, snuggling with Ryujin.

"That's fair for me," Ryujin sighed, and she closed her eyes, "rest well..." she made a tiny silence, "daddy," you stared at nothing.

"Rest well, brat," you replied, until about 10 minutes later, you fell asleep.

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Said and done, you woke up at 6:10 in the morning only to wake up Ryujin and go back to sleep. It was something really hard, she was the typical person with a heavy sleep that no matter how much you bothered her to get up, she didn't listen to you. At last she was up from the couch, and she went back to her room with slow, wandering steps.

When you woke up again around 10am, there was already movement in the kitchen. In fact, you had been awakened by the sound of the dishwasher being open and the subtle clash of certain kitchen utensils against each other. You opened your eyes to see who it was, and it was Lia and Yeji, who had gotten up early to make you and the girls breakfast, a toasted Korean egg sandwich.

You had a leisurely breakfast at the dining room table, everyone was looking at her phones or talking to each other, and evidently, neither you nor Ryujin said anything about what had happened, not even a hint of suspicion.

You wanted to continue having fun with them for the rest of the day, but tomorrow was Monday, and you had things to prepare at home for your day at work and your week in general, so after noon you said goodbye to the girls, and you went back to your apartment.

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Your week went by much slower than you expected. You hadn't had almost any noteworthy sessions except for a couple, but otherwise it had all felt like a great filler chapter in your life. But when the weekend came, your spirits were high again when you received a text from Yeji the same Friday when you got home in the afternoon. You got dressed as fast as you could, and before long, you were on your way to the girls’ house.

This particular day you were more nervous than usual, and the reason for your nervousness had a first and last name: Choi Jisoo. Lia was a differentially more serious person than all the others, she was a good girl, in fact, she was careful that you didn't lack anything in your little stay at her house, but her face was terrifying, even more than Yeji's, you felt that anything badly said or anything she didn't like could be the reason for a slap right to your face.

You parked the car right in front of the gate, and already knowing the password, you went directly into the house, but finding yourself surprised that Chaery was sitting on the left edge of the pool, with only her feet in the water. She was wearing shorts and a top, both short, black and tight to her toned body.

"Oh hi," you greeted, walking in her direction, "chillin?"

"Hi oppa," she greeted, looking at you and then at the water, "sort of, I'm waiting for Yeji unnie to swim together."

"Cool," you stepped up behind her, "everything okay?" you asked, noticing that she was a little down.

"Yeah, don't worry, this week has been exhausting," she sighed, "oh, Lia unnie is waiting for you on the top floor, maybe you'll find her in the same place where I saw her."

"Gotcha, see you later!" you said goodbye to her, walking inside.

You quickly went up all the stairs, curiously not finding any of the other girls along the way, you assumed that they were all in her rooms or that perhaps Ryujin and Yuna had gone out together. You reached the third floor, and turned down a corridor to find a girl you didn't know right at the end, in front of the door of what you remembered, was the bathroom. It wasn't until you got a little closer that you realized it was Lia, but she now had dyed blonde hair, and you couldn't help but think that she looked incredibly beautiful and hot at the same time, since she was only wearing a short towel around her body.

"God, you're finally here, I'm freezing," Lia said when she saw you approach, she was idly leaning against the wall, her blonde hair up in a messy bun.

"I'm late?" you asked amused, standing in front of her.

"Not really, but I misjudged your arrival time, and I've been standing here for 15 minutes," she sighed, as she stared at you blankly.

"And you don't have your phone or something?"

"Do you think I should have my phone?" she detached herself from the wall, and took a small step forward.

"Right," you nodded, feeling like an idiot for asking that but also fearing for the physical integrity of your cheek.

"Anyway, let's go to the shower," she turned and put her hand on the doorknob.

"Oh, right now? All of a sudden?"

"Do you think I want to wait, honey?" she raised an eyebrow, opening the bathroom door. Another stupid question. Today intelligence was not exactly your strong point.

"Okay, I'll stop," you nodded again, and following her into the bathroom, which she locked.

When you entered she was silent, took a few steps towards the shower and with her back to you, she let the towel that covered her body fall to the floor around her feet. Her wide and round ass was exposed for you, as were her luscious legs and her creamy skin. You were mesmerized for a moment, until she saw you over her shoulder.

"I'll wait for you, pretty boy," she said, before sliding the glass shower door open and stepping inside.

You had rarely undressed as fast as you did at that precise moment, you could have even broken a record or something. Lia had already turned on the water, but you were naked in a matter of seconds, and you didn't waste much more time before getting into the shower with her.

The shower space was quite wide, so you and she could perfectly keep a good distance in case you needed to (of course you didn't). You approached her from behind her as she went under the water without wetting her hair, just her body. You made sure she felt more than just your presence, letting your limp cock brush against her ass.

"Blonde hair was a total hit," you said close to her ear, "reinforces your position as ice princess of the group."

"I appreciate the compliment, sweetheart, but right now I need you to wash me well," she picked up the soap in front of her and passed it to you, you took it, and wet your hands to start swirling it between them.

"I'm curious about something," you said, starting to lather Lia's shoulders and upper back, "have you showered with any of the girls before?" you asked as you slowly moved down, reaching to her lower back.

"Why do you want to know that?" she asked back, looking over her shoulder at you before you ducked behind her, her tempting ass mere inches from your face.

"I already told you, just curious," you put your hands on her ass without any kind of fear, seizing the moment to massage, squeeze and rub her buttocks.

"With Ryujin, several times," she admitted, "with no one else."

"Of course it had to be Ryujin," you chuckled, remembering your little scene with her last weekend. You moved down from Lia's ass to her meaty thighs, and then down to her calves.

"Hey, don't forget about my front, honey," she said as you continued to focus on her legs.

"I wouldn't forget," you stood up and scooted closer to her, pressing your chest and cock against her soapy body. You wrapped your arms around her body, and began lathering her arms slowly, lowkey combining it with a little massage.

Lia turned her head to look at you, you turned too, and your lips were just inches from each other. You stepped forward, and melded your lips with hers in a slow, careful, calm kiss. Your hands followed their path, this time moving to her chest, lathering and squeezing her small tits and then down her abdomen.

In the middle of the kiss she pulled her ass back, rubbing it against your increasingly hard cock. You responded by lowering one of your hands to her pussy, rubbing it with the entire palm of your hand but also lathering her thighs from time to time. Your other hand went to her neck, squeezing not too hard with your fingers and going a little deeper into the kiss while you rubbed her slit with your fingers. Lia continued to move her ass from side to side, but soon stopped.

"Don't get excited, sweetie, we're going too fast," she said in a low voice against your lips, "besides, I want to wash you too."

"It's not my fault you have such a delicious body, Julia," you teased, placing a small kiss on her lips, letting go of her body and taking a step back.

"You'll have time to enjoy it, don't worry about it.”

Lia went under the water again, washed the soap off her body, and let you pass. You took a couple of steps forward, and you only put your hand in to check the temperature. It was freezing.

"Oh hell nah," you quickly started adjusting the hot water knob.

"What?" she laughed, standing behind you.

"Didn't you say you were freezing out there?" you asked, leaving the water at a temperature hot enough not to burn yourself.

"That doesn't mean I don't like taking cold baths, now get in there you crybaby," she pushed you from behind, and you were forced to let the water run over your head and then freely down your body. You took a deep breath, brushing your hair out of your face and then stepping out from under the spray.

"That doesn't make any sense," you complained, thankful that you'd fixed the temperature before she pushed you there.

"It doesn't have to make sense, it's just the way it is," she grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards her, she took the soap from your hand and began to repeat the same process that you had done with her.

Lia lathered all over your back, shoulders and arms right away, then you felt her crouch down, but she completely ignored your ass at first, just concentrating on your legs and calves. When she finished lathering you up from behind, she stood up and pressed against your back, you felt her small nipples against your skin, and then her arms encircling your body to begin lathering your chest.

Her hands were extremely delicate as they traveled up your torso, making sure not to leave even a little spot without soap before moving on to the next area, which was one you were looking forward to. Lia took her hand to your cock, and just like you did with her pussy, she began to rub it with her palm from top to bottom, also reaching your balls. When she left your shaft slippery, she wrapped her fingers around it and began to move her hand slowly, jerking you off as she placed little kisses on your back.

"Didn't you say we were going too fast?" You gasped, letting your head fall back and closing your eyes as she continued to move her hand in a torturous rhythm.

"I'm just returning the favor, baby," she murmured, caressing your abdomen with her free hand, "but I still have something to do."

Lia let go of your cock, and you, disappointed, opened your eyes to look at her over your shoulder. She crouched down behind you once more, and this time she did start lathering up your ass with both of her hands. The double effort she was putting into it was strangely suspicious to you, she squeezed your buttocks too, but then she brought a hand between them, running the side of her hand from the space behind your cock to your ass. You flinched, feeling her finger press against your hole.

"May I know the reason for this sudden attack?" you joked, with a small giggle as it felt ticklish. Her hand moved slowly, teasing to stick a finger up your ass every time it came up to it.

"I'm just doing something I know you'll do for me later," she replied, washing your hole and buttocks well.

"I'll do that?" You raised an eyebrow, seeing her.

"For your sake, I hope so honey," she removed her hands from your ass and stood up behind you again, to once again push you into the water, and not expecting it, you almost swallowed the water, you had to close your eyes quickly and start to wash off the soap.

"Fuck, can you stop doing that?" you complained, stepping forward to get out of the water.

"I won't anymore, sorry," Lia replied, holding back a laugh.

"Yeah, whatever you say, now come here," you pulled her by her shoulders and stood her in place, crouching immediately behind her. She passed you the soap, and you began to return the favor by spreading one of her buttocks and imitating her movements, with the difference that you were making sure to reach her pussy with your fingers as well.

"You know… When Yeji told me all the services you guys provided, I was pretty worried about this," she gasped, feeling your fingers rubbing both her ass and the folds of her pussy.

"Really? Why?" you asked, eyeing her pretty ass as you washed it, squeezing and massaging her buttocks as well.

"Because I've never had my ass eaten before, genius," she sighed, "I honestly wasn't too into the idea at first, but Chaery and Ryujin called me a prude, and I took that personal."

"And you ended up liking it, didn't you?" you teased with a small giggle, pressing a finger against her ass and letting it go in just as far as your fingernail. She moaned.

"Fuck, I haven't stopped thinking about it since, I really hate you," she started to rock her hips slightly, seeking more of your fingers.

"Why exactly do you hate me?" you stood up, but still with your hand tucked between her buttocks.

"For…" before she could reply, you brought your index and middle fingers as carefully as possible into her hole, which was no longer so tight and gave way easily to your fingers, "For making me addicted to playing with my ass," she finished with a groan.

"Oh… that would explain why my fingers just slipped like butter in there," you smiled, your fingers buried up to the knuckles.

"I don't want a single word about it… fuck," Lia reached back and gripped your wrist, as you began to move your wrist at an intermediate pace, enough for her body to move from front to back.

"Don't worry sweetie, I can understand perfectly," you murmured in her ear. She had her eyes closed as she bit her lower lip, "my tongue drove you crazy."

"I said shut the fuck up," she snapped between cute little moans, your fingers moving in and out of her ass faster and faster, "Fuck… fuck, stop," she moaned, "let's go to my room, right now."

You immediately pulled your fingers out, and leaned forward to turn off the shower head. You opened the shower door and stepped outside, drying your feet on the mat and stepping forward to give Lia space. You grabbed a towel that was hanging from the tube on the side of the shower and dried your hair and body in a rather messy way, just like Lia. You didn't even wait until you were completely dry to rush out of the bathroom, she took the lead, guiding you towards her room, which was bigger than Yeji and Yuna's since there were 3 beds tucked in there. Ryujin wasn't there, which reinforced your idea that she had gone with Yuna somewhere.

As soon as you entered you closed the door and surrounded Lia's body in your arms, she encircled your neck with hers, and you melted into a kiss full of desire and intensity. She slowly pulled you back onto the middle bed, which you didn't even know if it was hers or not, but you didn't even care to think about it.

You separated from the kiss first, and you took her by the waist to turn her around and push her up on the bed. Lia fell on both of her hands, and automatically also got on her knees, with her ass perfectly raised and ready for you. You didn't bother wasting time, bending your knees and bringing your hands to her buttocks, spreading them apart and revealing her hole, something already opened by your fingers. Lia moaned loudly as soon as you buried your mouth on her ass, giving her frantic licks and kisses.

The blonde girl soon filled the room with her pretty moans, and you took it upon yourself to make her moan even louder, spitting on her hole and squeezing her buttocks hard while your tongue explored the walls of her ass as much as the length of it allowed. Wanting to drive her crazy as quickly as possible, in conjunction with your tongue, the index and middle fingers of your right hand began to quickly rub her clit, which caused Lia to start writhing in pleasure.

Her pussy started to get quite wet, you could tell by how your fingers became more slippery as you kept rubbing her pussy, filling the room with wet sounds, both from your fingers and from your mouth, spitting and collecting your saliva from her ass while you ate it savagely.

Lia was clinging to the white sheets of the bed with her fingers, crinkling them and pulling them from the edges between moans, but that wasn't enough for you. Your fingers, already slippery from her fluids, eased away from her clit, only to move up a bit and into her pussy, slowly and deep until only your knuckles were outside of her.

"Fuck yes! Eat my ass while you finger my pussy honey!" she whimpered, lifting her head to see you over her shoulder.

Not wanting to disobey her and get slapped, you started moving your wrist as fast as you could, pumping your fingers in and out of her pussy as your tongue worked her ass. Lia let her face fall against the mattress again, and after a few seconds, she exploded into loud moans. Her entire body squirmed, especially her thighs, but being a good girl, she stayed as still as possible while you went from eating her ass to scooping her pussy fluids with your tongue, with quick licks between her folds. You kept licking her pussy for a few more seconds, until her orgasm had passed and you stood up to watch her.

"Did my pretty ice princess like that?" you asked with a mischievous tone, giving her buttock a little spank.

"I told you to shut the f... agh fuck it, I loved it, I love the way you eat my ass, sweetheart," she moaned as she breathed heavily, leaning on her forearms as she watched you.

"Still, I sense that you're not satisfied, right?"

"Oh hell no, I want to play with you too, can I?" she asked, getting up to kneel on the bed facing you.

"Of course you can, I'm at your service," you stepped forward, presenting your hard, throbbing cock to her. She saw it for a second, and contrary to what you thought she was going to do, she got off the bed, stood behind you and with her two hands pushed you forward, causing you to lean over and place your hands on the mattress, "huh?" she got on her knees, and made you spread your legs to put her hands on your buttocks, spread them apart, and bring her mouth to your ass, "The fuck?! Damn Lia!" you exclaimed.

It was a very fucking weird feeling you were experiencing right now, and you still didn't know how to feel about it. At first it felt funny, like a slight tickle, but when Lia started to make the right movements with her tongue around and against your hole, you started to feel more than just tickling, you even let out a slight moan that Lia heard.

Her tongue began to move faster and deeper, and that was when you could come to understand why Lia loved it so much. You started to pant, and Lia squeezed your buttocks as she used all your techniques and moves against you. You could tell that she really wanted to do that, because she was putting all her effort into eating your ass, and that was reflected in how good it was making you feel despite it being your mere first time experiencing it.

She seemed to have read your mind, as you felt your cock was quite needy, and she quickly took action, running a hand between your legs and reaching for your cock to grip between her fingers. Lia started to move her hand up your shaft slowly at first, but she was soon picking up the rhythm of her tongue on your ass, and she started to jerk you off with quick flicks of her wrist.

That was enough for you to start letting out small moans and clenching your fists. It felt strange and unusual to be so vulnerable in front of someone, but with Lia you felt safe, and of course she was doing a fantastic job while she ate your ass and gave your cock quick strokes simultaneously.

"Julia Choi, don't you dare even stop, holy fuck!" you growled, completely at the mercy of her tongue and her hand. She had you tamed 100%, as if she had suddenly turned you into her subby slave. You were enjoying that much more than you thought, and quickly your ecstasy began to build in your body. Your words were like fuel on the fire, Lia began to move her hand faster on your cock, and her tongue moved more frantically inside your ass, licks that she combined with constant movements of her head. Soon both stimuli became too much for you, and the first tingling in your lower abdomen gave you the warning, "Fuck Lia, I'm going to cum!"

As soon as you said that, Lia separated her face from between your buttocks and pulled you so that you turned around. Your cock was floating over her face, she stuck her tongue out, and she grabbed your cock to press the tip against it and start moving her hand quickly. Seconds later, with a loud moan, your cum began to come out in thick spurts that ended up directly in her mouth and her tongue.

You pursed your lips, and left your mouth ajar as you watched as Lia took all of your load on her tongue, now moving her hand more slowly. When your orgasm passed, a thick pool of cum pooled in her mouth, which she then swallowed without even thinking. She opened her mouth again, and showed you her tongue so you could see that there was absolutely nothing left.

"I'm not even going to ask you if you liked that, because judging by what's going down my stomach, I already have the answer," she said with a teasing tone, giving you a small smile.

"Just shut your mouth, please," you sighed, slumping back and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, there's still something missing, honey," she walked over to you, and climbed onto your lap, pressing her pussy against your cock.

"And what could that be?" you asked, playing fool looking into her eyes.

"I still haven't been able to know how that cock feels inside me..." she started, rubbing your shoulders, "I want you to fuck me."

"You know I would never say no to that," you grabbed her by her waist, giving her a little kiss on her lips.

"I know you wouldn't," you made to kiss her again, but she backed away, "but, we'll use one of my new little toys."

"Uh?" you frowned in confusion. She got up from your lap and walked to her nightstand, opened the bottom drawer, and took out a long, swirled buttplug with a ring on the end for better handling, at least 5 inches long, and a small bottle of lube. You raised both eyebrows in surprise.

"You're going to fuck my pussy while I play with my ass," she commanded.

"Fuck yes baby," you stood up, and when she approached you, you grabbed her face to kiss her again. She took her hand to your cock, and even though it was still a little sensitive, you didn't care that she brought it back to life between slow strokes.

When she felt your cock was hard enough, she pulled away from the kiss and went to lie on her side in the center of the bed, she flexed her legs, giving you a perfect view of her pussy and ass at the same time. You climbed on the bed too, and when you were kneeling in front of her, she pressed the lubricant dispenser to pour it all over the buttplug and then spread it with her hand. Once the buttplug was perfectly shiny and slippery, she repeated the process with your cock, leaving it slippery and well lubricated as well.

Lia stared into your eyes, and without taking her eyes off you for a single second, she took the buttplug to her ass, pressing just a little against her hole so that it began to enter inch by inch inside her ass while her mouth opened in an O between gasps. Your cock throbbed at the incredibly hot and sexy scene, you saw the toy buried deep inside, with only the ring on the outside, and you understood that it was your turn to jump into action.

You took your cock in one hand, and rubbed the tip along the length of her wet slit to line up with her pussy, and slowly thrust forward. You wanted to make it as slow and torturous as possible, but your cock was so slippery, and her pussy was so naturally lubricated, that it slid so easily that in a matter of seconds you were all the way inside her. Lia let out a long, loud moan, feeling filled in both of her holes.

You and her got in perfect harmony, you started to move your hips slowly from front to back, and she started to move her wrist in the same rhythm, pumping the entire length of the buttplug in and out of her ass, which had you mesmerized by how fucking hot it looked getting fucked.

Your moans overlapped one on top of the other, the texture of the buttplug could be felt through the walls of her pussy, so it added an extra bit of stimulation to your cock as it slid in and out of her silky pussy. As if all that amount of pleasure wasn't enough, she took the bun that was still holding her hair and let it loose, with her long blonde hair now free, you were sure that Lia couldn't look more beautiful than she was already

"Faster, honey," she demanded between moans, when you were still moving your hips a little slowly.

"Beg for it, then," you replied, she didn't expect that answer, but she didn't have time to disagree.

"I'm not going to call you daddy like a little slut like Ryujin does, just fuck me harder please, I need it!" she whimpered, moving her wrist faster, fucking herself into her ass at the exact pace she demanded. For a moment, a question about it crossed your mind: 'How the hell did you know that Ryujin called you that'?

You didn't have time to think about it right now. You put a hand on her buttock, and she let out a high-pitched squeal as you gave her a hard spank and began to move your hips much faster, imitating the pace of her wrist. You grabbed her ass in a tight grip, feeling the soft flesh between your fingers as you pumped in and out of her pussy between low grunts.

Lia began to lose her sanity in a matter of seconds, it was too much pleasure for her, being fucked fast and hard in both holes, and you soon began to feel envy of that buttplug.

"I want to fuck your ass," you growled under your breath, and she didn't hesitate to comply with your wish.

She pulled the buttplug out of her ass, and switched it to her other hand as you reached out of her pussy to make the switch. Lia took the buttplug, now turned into a dildo, deep inside her pussy, and you took your cock right deep inside her ass, which was without a doubt, a sensation that almost took you to another spiritual plane. She now started fucking herself, pumping her wrist as fast as she could, and you started slamming her ass with your pelvis, fucking her hole with the force of a machine.

The room was filled with the sounds of flesh-on-flesh smacking and intense moans, diminishing in quantity as the pleasure drove her so insane that almost no sound came out of her mouth. She was close to cumming, and you knew it. You gave her another hard spank in the same spot, then clung to her waist to pound her ass hard. Lia dropped her head, her gaze blank as you gave your last thrusts until her body went into a chain of strong spasms and tremors.

Finally a long, loud moan left her mouth as you continued to mercilessly fuck her through her orgasm. You were already very close to your own ecstasy, so it didn't cross your mind for a second to even stop or fuck her slower even though she had already stopped moving her wrist. Lia looked at you with teary eyes and a completely weak face, as if you had taken her soul out of her body. She pulled the buttplug out of her pussy and left her hand loose while you shook her body like a rag doll. And a few more thrusts were enough for you to explode inside her ass.

You grunted loudly, and then a moan escaped you as you gave her your second load of the night, just as big and thick, inside her tight hole. Lia gasped, feeling her ass being completely filled with your hot thick liquid. You gave her a few more slow thrusts, making sure to get all of your seed inside her before pulling your cock out very slowly, so that all of the cum that had been left inside her gaping hole began to cascade down her thigh and then to the mattress.

You were sweating all over, and your breathing seemed like that of an Olympic cyclist after completing a circuit, so when you finished, you dropped to the side of her and instinctively, you put an arm over her body to hug her. Lia snuggled into you, with her back pressed against your chest, and then went completely still like you. You closed your eyes, and relaxed so that, minutes later, you fell completely asleep with the pretty frozen princess.

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Spren Notes:

I really have nothing to say here lol. Just enjoy it! I loved writing this shit.

If you, dear reader, are interested in buying me a commission, do not hesitate to go through my inbox, I’ll be delighted!

#itzy smut #lia smut #ryujin smut #kpop smut #fanfic smut #male reader smut #male reader insert #x male reader #smut #kpop fanfic

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lemotmo · 6 months ago

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Okay, I caved and watched the Oliver and Lou interview.

Seriously, that was it? It was five minutes of inconsequental talk about everything but Buck and Tommy's relationship. This is what people were panicking over? Or this is what some people are fawning over? Sorry, but that is just funny.

Oliver talked a bit about how Tim called him up, during ep 2, and said we're doing the bi Buck storyline in episode 4 with Tommy. Then they talked a few seconds about it.

Lou said something about how BT are in a good place 'right now' and the relationship had a lovely reception from viewers. He also mentions he 'hopes' it will continue to be in a good place. All very vague.

After that they never really talked about BT anymore.

When the interviewers asked about the finale and what they could share about it, Oliver just said 'heartbreak', which we all already knew about. He did seem more animated and happy to talk about the finale than the BT relationship though.

The rest of the interview had nothing to do with 911 anymore.

What else could they have possibly talked about? Nothing. Because nothing of consequence has actually happened between them.

I do think it's interesting how Lou said it's in a good place 'right now'. We have two more episodes to go. This really makes me think they won't be in a good place anymore by the finale, hence they won't be able to do promo like this anymore. It's such an odd time to air an interview like this. It's some extra promo, but ultimately, for me it once again confirmed that Tommy is a narrative foil.

Oliver didn't even post anything about the interview. He only posted about the episode, nothing else. Once again reaffirms that he doesn't want to lead fans on.

I also feel as if Oliver and Lou haven't talked all that much. They seem very awkward sitting next to each other. I don't know. I could be wrong about it, but that is what it feels like to me.

Compared to the Ryan/Oliver interviews where they talk about the ship, the fandom and even the fanart, this was just lackluster. A bit like the BT relationship on the show. No chemistry there whatsoever.

Anyway, time to move on from this and focus on the episode. I'm so excited and terrified at the same time about what they are going to put Eddie through.😬

#911 spoilers #oliver stark #911 abc #lou and oliver interview

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bengiyo · 11 months ago

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BL 2023 Review

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to write about BL for this year. I was originally going to do a The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly framework for it, but that feels meaner than I actually am about it. Instead, I think I’ll just write out some sections and unpack some things I felt along the way.

I Watched Too Much Again

Last year I engaged with about 92 productions around the world. This year it was 99 (I tracked stuff I completed here). Sure I dropped 18 of them this year, but goddamn. The problem with watching as much as I did this year is that I worked full time this year and also maintained a separate hobby. I also continued my twice-weekly watch sessions with my friend Emily, so there are an additional 100-ish watch sessions in here of rewatching, plus a few other rewatches (Theory of Love and My Ride most notably).

One of my struggles at this point is I’m far too familiar with the genre, and find myself feeling impatient and irritable with shows that aren’t to my taste the way I used to. Throughout the late summer and fall I found myself increasingly grumpier about the genre, and it didn’t get better until I had a holiday and basically slept a day to get some energy back. I also found myself growing apart from fans I’ve known and followed a long time. It’s been a difficult year for me as a long-time fan because my tastes, habits, and friendships in the genre have changed even if the amount I watch hasn’t really.

I Wrote a Lot This Year

I recently converted my watch tag away from my gaming internet persona to just my shortname, so all near-1000 of my Stray Thoughts posts can be found under #ben watches now. I’ve also been going back and adding #ben writes to some of the standalone pieces that I really liked. In reviewing them, the pieces I’m happiest about are my ode to Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to Be Recognized, my post begging everyone to watch La Pluie, my post about what it means to actually like queer men, my SBS ep 10 post that ended up being wrong, my post about the Lavender Scare and Be My Favorite, my Tokyo in April is… post about the breaking of the BL line,

However, the two posts I am most proud of is my half-joking response about why I think tagging each other back and forth across Tumblr in our writing is so important. and The Knowing: Being Queer in BL because I had so much great conversations with folks as a result of both of these posts.

Looking back at my own blog, this is probably the most active I’ve been in my entire time on this website, so thank you to everyone who interacted with me this year, because it really is people talking to me that gets me most inspired to write things down. Big shout out to @lurkingshan who will bug me repeatedly until I blog something that I said in passing.

We Started a Podcast!

After hanging out with @shortpplfedup since Bad Buddy, she got inspired and really wanted to bring something different to the BL podcasting sphere. I had time, and liked talking with her enough, so we started @the-conversation-pod. Now we’re a full year into it and planning out future stuff. It’s been so much fun being able to get things off my soul and break poor NiNi in our recording sessions.

From this year, I think my favorite episodes we did were The Moonlight Chicken Episode, the Eighth Sense episode, the ITSAY Anniversary Episodes, The Wedding Plan episode, , and The Holiday Clip Show. Huge shout out to @ginnymoonbeam for anchoring the transcription process, and @lurkingshan for editing.

The VIIB Awards will begin airing soontm so look forward to that.

Favorite New Term: Business Gay Performance

Let’s be clear, Bump Up Business is not good. It is an obvious BL cash grab from OnlyOneOf that seeks to comment on the fake nature of BL while doing everything it can to trick the audience into believing that the BL pair is real.

Before we got deeper into this year, I was a big fan of a certain pairing, and then their fans took it too far and it affected the way I engaged with their performances and their work. I like that we have a new term for “fanservice” that communicates that you understand that this is for work. (thanks to NiNi for this comparison) I can look at the latest behind the scenes video from Last Twilight and say that I think Sea really understands the work they’re doing, and he and Jimmy have a very relaxed and mature version of BGP without feeling like I’m feeding into shipping.

Do I think they’re dating? No. Do I like the way they fake it? Absolutely!

I can look at one of @respectthepetty posts about Yin and War having personalized, color-coded mics, and we can talk about the next level BGP between the two and both communicate that we know that this is a performance.

It actually makes the extra PR work fun for me again, because now I can just shout “BGP! BGP! BGP!” and it not feel like I’m giving myself brainrot.

Thai BL Needs to Finish Stronger Next Year

Let’s get into some of the show stuff. This year was defined for me by Thai BL starting strong with good premises and then squandering them by not focusing on the details that mattered or leaning into baseless melodrama. Time for some reads. Some of these shows were generally good, but they failed at these things:

609 Bedtime Story: The world building crumpled in the back half and both endings are flat.

A Boss and a Babe: Cher is a pro gamer who worked for a gaming company and there was no plot point about this at all, or collaboration between the two groups.

Bake Me Please: Why was a show about cake so lacking in flavor?

Be Mine SuperStar: You had a real opportunity to explore a fan and idol romance and had Punn show so little growth. I hope the footage of First’s range is helpful now that Ja is out of BL.

Be My Favorite: You redid that whole amusement park date and muddled so much of what the hell happened on that day.

Between Us: You had years to make this interesting. Why are there five pairs and why is the end of this a JC Penny catalog photoshoot?

Dangerous Romance: What the fuck happened to the Sailom we had in episode 1 and 2 before that gun incident?

Hidden Agenda: Tee, what the hell was this? Twelve weeks of this?

I Feel You Linger in the Air: You may be the most beautiful show, with some of the most impressive performances of the year, but you absolutely botched this ending. Finish the goddamn season next time.

Love in Translation: I love you, but that whole kidnapping plot was so stupid at the end.

Low Frequency: I like your OST. That's about it.

My Dear Gangster Oppa: No examination about how gaming friendships become close quickly because of the combination of anonymity and teamwork (shout out to @twig-tea for this excellent summation).

My School President: Saving your gay commentary for the final episode felt like a conservative choice. I want more from you next time.

Naughty Babe: You retconned your own characters to tell a worse story. Unforgiveable.

Never Let Me Go: You didn’t know if you wanted to be a high school BL or a mafia story. It was difficult to watch.

Only Friends: I cannot believe you did Boston like that at the end. Either give Force’s character a clear personality next time, or keep him enigmatic; half measures make him and Book look worse. Sand was absolutely embarrassing. Boeing was a waste. Ending on all of them paired like that felt so unearned.

Step By Step: You forgot to ground Jeng’s external dreams at the end, so the final two episodes are just frustrating.

I’m glad I got that off my chest. We can go into the next year now.

Korea Put in the Work This Year

I really like the efforts from the various Korean studios this year. I really hope we get a Strongberry joint next year, but I want to acknowledge that we had 18 Korean BL dramas I watched this year, and at least three of them I think are must watches: Our Dating Sim, Sing My Crush, and The Eighth Sense. Beyond that, I think Love Tractor, Unintentional Love Story, and A Breeze of Love are easy recommendations.

It’s really impressive how the complaint for me this year with Korean BL is not about them using their time poorly. It’s more about normal drama concerns, where I think characterization is a little weak, or a theme doesn’t land squarely. This rapid iteration from the Korean studios is really impressive to watch, and I’m excited to see what some of the recognized players do next year.

Taiwan and The Philippines Have Been Quiet for Me

I wasn’t really able to connect with much from the Philippines this year except for The Day I Loved You. I never wrote about The Day I Loved You, but this beautiful and heart wrenching show is one of my favorites from this year. I wasn’t too keen on the Oxin Films offerings of this year, and I’m still chasing down the ones from The IdeaFirst Company.

As for Taiwan, this new BL project from the end of the year just isn’t hitting. Kiseki: Dear to Me also ended up really hurting me with the way they used Wayne Song and Huang Chun Chih. I love that angry little man with the white hair, but I’m still salty about Wayne and the general mess of that show.

Japan was Busy This Year

I watched 16 new shows, a few older ones, and a few movies this year from Japan. We haven’t gotten this much from them ever. I continue to love the Drama Shower project from MBS, and my beloved What Did You Eat Yesterday? returned this year. We had pretty stellar outings with Our Dining Table, If It’s With You, and I Cannot Reach You.

I think a third of the Japanese BL I’ve tracked on MDL actually released this year. That’s huge.

Still, I am going to side eye Minato’s Laundromat 2. You were the show that let me down the most this entire year. More than Only Friends, more than Step By Step, and even more than Kiseki. You absolutely blew it. You were telling a great story about a man with an acute case of internalized homophobia coming out of his shell and learning to love his younger partner and you blew it for stupid amnesia nonsense. I will never forgive you for this.

Where Were All the Uncles This Year?

Really, without Jim from Moonlight Chicken, and without the men from What Did You Eat Yesterday? we had an alarming dearth of older gay characters passing on knowledge and wisdom to the youngsters this year. What the hell happened?

Rare Dynamics Won: Second Chance Romance and Friends to Lovers!

We had so much second chance romance this year. It’s really my favorite version of gay romance because gays don’t always have ideal settings when they’re young. We had Our Dating Sim, Individual Circumstances, Jun & Jun, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, Be My Favorite, Love Class Season 2, and A Breeze of Love. I am satisfied.

Friends to Lovers is actually so rare in romance and we have so many to choose from this year! The best examples are I Cannot Reach You and Sing My Crush, but we also have one of the pairs in Love Class Season 2.

Gay Thoughts

I had a couple of ongoing thoughts this year about queerness in BL.

First, I want to return to my post about Sing My Crush and La Pluie, and how I assert that Men Need to Be Angry Sometimes. More than giving men grace to be righteously angry or upset about things, along with letting them express it in ugly ways, I really want to get into how we engage with these shows. I will stop engaging with moralistic reads on characters in 2024. I will no longer engage with asks, reblogs, or meta gripping the fandom where we're judging the moral fiber of the character.

The question that really only matters for me at this point is: Is this act from the character justified from their characterization, the narrative, or genre conventions; and is it interesting? Whether or not the character is good or bad reeks of the lame arguments about good and bad representation, and I am not watching BL like I’m being graded in Sunday school.

The second thing I really want to acknowledge at the end of the year is that the gay sex is finally getting better again. I watched The Novelist this year, and we have taken so long to get back to the space that show took us on the portrayal of male-male intimacy. We are in the genre about people with dicks. It should feel like it. There should be a masculine component there that feels specific to queer intimacy.

I will acknowledge 2 Cutie 2 Pie, A Boss and a Babe, Be Mine SuperStar, Bed Friend, Candy Color Paradox, For Him, I Cannot Reach You, Kiseki: Dear to Me, La Pluie, Love Class 2, Love in Translation, Love Mate, Middleman’s Love, Naughty Babe, Only Friends, The End of the World With You, Tokyo in April is…, and Wedding Plan for your contributions.

Final Thoughts

I like how broad the genre felt this year, and I enjoyed how much speculative fiction is entering into the conversation. I don’t know how I feel about there being five vampire stories in the works next year, but overall I’m glad that we’re getting more experimental concepts. I’m burnt out on the college engineering BL, and would like to see more shows about working adults.

Despite how grumpy I was for at least three months, I think this has genuinely been one of the best years we’ve ever had in the genre. I made a lot of new friends in BL this year, and I’m excited to see what comes next. Thank you all for spending some of your time with me this year and I’ll see you in the next one.

#Ben writes #best of bl 2023 #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #filipino bl #korean bl #ben watches

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musingsofalovelymillenial · 10 months ago

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Non and Kru Keng!

Dead Friend Forever Ep 7 - extended opinion ( long-ish post)

Trigger Warnings : Sexual abuse, sexual coercion, grooming, etc.

Since episode 7 aired I have been appalled at the number of posts I have seen regarding Non and Keng and Non’s behavior. Before I dive into ( and yes this is me letting out my anger regarding things I have seen) I want to provide some background that is also a basis for my personal opinion. I also want to state that while I truly believe everyone is titled to their own opinion there are certain things that are wrong and should not be romanticized/glossed over.

My professional background is in psychology, social work and human service ( dealing with abuse and domestic violence)

My personal background also makes what is happening to Non even harder to watch. Episodes 5, 6 and 7 took me a while to get through and resulted honestly in needing to detach for a while. I grew up attending middle school and high school in an area where most of the students attending my schools were wealthy. During that time I and my friends experienced severe bullying for being poor and for not living the way everyone else did. For context we lived 20 minutes away from our school where almost everyone lived surrounding the school and we lived in a trailer park and even though our bus was overcrowded all the trailer park children rode one bus. We as a group were constantly in trouble even when we did nothing wrong, our vice principal called us trailer trash to our faces on our bus and the kids at school were cruel and treated us like we were disgusting and not good enough. When we were “lucky” enough to be invited to their houses we were watched more than the other kids and we were not treated the same way by the parents compared to their fellow friends from the same income level. We were taught by everyone around us that we should be and were inferior ( we were not!). During this time there was also one of my bullies who everyday would not only verbally harass me but sexually harass me at my locker and the worst part at the time was that there were either the kids that ignored that it was happening or the kids who laughed. I can't speak for my few friends at the time but what made all this worse was because school was not the only place I had problems. At home my father was an alcoholic and on any given day my house was a cocktail mixture of verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and domestic violence. After a while I not only started feeling sick a lot but I eventually stopped going to school and would stay home “sick” to avoid school ( both my parents worked so I would be alone during the day). Around this time was really when I developed anxiety, depression and for the first time battled with suicidal thoughts. This went on for a long time. When things finally had their culminating point of me finally opening up at least about what was happening at school. My mom was the first person to ask me and later as an adult in therapy my therapist also asked why did I never tell anyone what was happening to me? The answer was truly simple, complex but simple. I did not want to burden anyone. I told my mom she already dealt with so much because of my father and how he treated us that I did not want to add one more burden to her already full plate. I felt that if I could just handle it on my own it would be fine, eventually it would stop or these people who were cruel would just give up. I also felt ashamed and disgusted by what was happening. I also told my therapist (as an adult looking back on that time) that why would I tell anyone when the kids in the hallway made it clear they did not care and the adults ( teachers and office staff) who I should have been able to trust made it clear they did not like us either simply because of where we live and our income level.

Now back to Dead Friend Forever

Here are the definitions for Abuse of Power, Sexual Coercion and Grooming.

Abuse of power is when someone misuses their authority or higher position in a hierarchy to take advantage of, coerce or harm other people. And it can lead to different types of abuse, such as psychological, physical, financial and sexual abuse.

Sexual coercion is using pressure or influence to get someone to agree to sex. People can knowingly coerce others into sex, such as learning manipulative pick-up artist strategies, or unknowingly, such as assuming the other person is OK when they're not.

Grooming is a tactic where someone methodically builds a trusting relationship with a child or young adult, their family, and community to manipulate, coerce, or force the child or young adult to engage in sexual activities.

More information about grooming:

Because they were groomed, children and teens who were abused often feel that they were in some way responsible for the abuse. This is especially true for teens who feel that they went into the situation willingly and thus in some way it was their fault. This shame and guilt then prevents them from reporting, as they fear that no one will believe them. In fact, many teens who have been groomed are confused as to whether what happened to them actually constituted abuse as it didn’t follow the stereotypical pattern of a violent rape. In many cases this confusion can prevent or delay reporting for many years.

Non was groomed and then sexually assaulted regardless whether it seemed like he consented. Let me say it louder for the people in the back!

Kru Keng sexually assaulted Non! He did not ”cheat” on Phee. Did he lie to Phee yes, but he did not cheat in the stereotypically what we as a society view cheating.

the signs or steps of grooming with examples from the episode:

Make you feel like you owe them. Because you are in a relationship, because you’ve had sex before or because they give/spend money on you or because you go home with them they are owed for these behaviors.

We see Keng offer Non a ride home and he then offers him money to get out of his situation. We don’t see him doing these things with other students.

Victim Selection: abusers often observe possible victims and select them based on ease of access to them or their perceived vulnerability.

Keng clocks that Non is vulnerable the first time he is in the study class and even looks back at him after scolding Top and asking Non for his name. We see this through the several times he brings up how Non is having friend problems or how he doesn't want to work with Tee, and Non unfortunately mentions how just knowing someone cares makes him feel better which makes Keng even more aware of how alone Non seems to be.

Gaining access and isolating the victim: abusers will attempt to physically or emotionally separate a victim from those protecting them and often seek out positions in which they have contact with minors.

Keng has perfect access as a math tutor/teacher to have contact with minors. Also he always has Non come to his office or meet him alone despite the fact that his office is in a seemingly more isolated place than the classrooms.

Trust development and keeping secrets: abusers attempt to gain trust of victims through gifts, sharing secrets, etc.

Keng not only praises Non as a student but also then tells him things like I want to help you anyway I can, I noticed that you are sad, I can give you money to help you because I view you like a brother, I now know your secret regarding Tee and the money so I am someone you can trust.

Desensitization to touch : abusers will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact.

Keng touches Non’s shoulder seemingly to comfort him, the next time he is holding his hand, then he is holding his hand on his knee and rubbing the back of his hand. All these on their own could be innocent and seem like comfort or being friendly. Until Keng kisses Non crossing that line and leading directly to assaulting him.

Attempt by abusers to make their behavior seem natural: to avoid raising suspicions. For teens who may be particularly close in age to the abuser it can be hard to recognize grooming tactics.

I feel for Non because we see how he is not happy and is actually crying when he hugs Phee the first time when Keng kisses him and then we see him come down to meet Phee. Also Non is trapped in a situation where he is being manipulated and being taken advantage of and sees little to no way out of this financial mess with the money laundering. We, as an audience, saw the fight with his family after where his mother says she is embarrassed because of him and says to Non’s father that if he weren’t a loser then Non wouldn’t be one too. Non very much is receiving a message whether she meant it or not because emotions were high is irrelevant. Non is receiving the message that he is a burden and an embarrassment. Non is aware of his family's financial situation as well. We see him say it to Phee several times about how he wants to solve his own problems and he does not want to burden people. I do not think Non lied to Phee because he wanted to, I think he did it because not only would it put another thing on Phee’s shoulders after he already went to his dad once for Non but also puts Non in a vulnerable position. I personally was asked many times by people oh are you okay? Are you sure everything is good because you look upset? And everytime I lied because I didn't want to be a burden but I also never wanted to look at myself as a victim or admit that I was a victim because that bit of fragile control on my life was one of the only things I could control. And as an adult I have had the chance to talk to some people I knew at the time and they all told me they knew I was lying about being okay or even though I cried and then would say I was fine, I wasn’t. But they all felt like if they pushed me to talk I would never tell them and my one friend said point blank at least I could make you forget about it for a while even if I didn’t really know what you wanted a distraction from. I 100% feel this is exactly what is Non’s perspective. He cannot control how Por, Tee, Top, Fluke and even Jin treat him. He cannot control how his parents view him. He cannot control Phee or Phee’s decisions to love or help him. He cannot control Keng. He cannot take back getting involved with Tee and the money laundering or the consequences of that. What Non can control is how he feels or what he takes control of. Non can control whether he views himself as a victim. He can also control whether he finishes the movie that he wrote the script for. The movie and script are something he did, they come from him and are something at the end of the day regardless of anyone else he Non can be proud of. I think while we may not view his staying with the group healthy and it's not, or his lying to Phee about things that are happening good cause it’s not; it makes sense to Non. Because again he is a teenager who is vulnerable and easily exploitable and has very little control and teenagers whose brains are not fully developed are making not only decisions they think are best or worst at the time but also making decisions based on what they know at that moment. Seeing people who are watching this show and who are hating on Non or do not understand what happened between Non and Keng infuriate me. Should we all feel bad for Phee? Yes. He wants to be there for Non, he loves him and wants to care , on top of knowing that Non is being bullied and seeing what Keng did has to be heartbreaking and frustrating. Also without context to their conversations Phee as a fellow teenager may not be aware or understand fully what Keng did to Non is not on Non.

You can feel bad for Phee without victim blaming Non.

Non made poor choices regarding his trust with Phee or his ability to trust Phee but none of those things mean that he deserved what happened or that because it seems like he consented that it is all just fine and he cheated on Phee and had sex with Keng.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk!!

#dead friend forever #dff the series #barcode tinnasit #be on cloud #copper phuriwat #dff spoilers #fuaiz thanawat #jj chalach #jjay patiphan #mio athens #bl series #ta nannakun #bump pawat #jet jetsadakorn #us nititorn #pheenon #dead friend forever the series #dff

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slamdunk-headcanons · 3 months ago

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Slam Dunk ep. 46: Hanamichi, Hot Dunk - an analysis

By far, one of my favorite episodes.

So, I was watching this episode yesterday and I started wondering about everybody's reaction to Sakuragi's dunk. Everybody is extremelly shook and I wondered why even Rukawa was extremely surprised. In addition, Sakuragi's reaction when he was sent off the court is one of my favorites parts, and I really wanted to analyse it to talk about character development.

Beginning with the audience reaction to Sakuragi's dunk. We cannot question that Sakuragi's dunk was on NBA level because:

Strenght: the whole structure of the backboard shook dangerously. Not even Akagi could make the backboard shake like that with his dunks. Even if it was a miscalculation of strengh, is still frightening, because Sakuragi showed all his arm strengh with that dunk;

Marking/blocking: Sakuragi didn't dunk alone: he dunked being marked by two Shoyo players, and one of them was Hanagata. Hanagata is 9 centimeters taller than Sakuragi and much more experienced. Also, Hanagata was easily thrown on the floor by Sakuragi, and we can feel that it was quite of a blow;

Jump: Sakuragi almost flew! He jumped far from the basket, doing an authentic air walk like Jordan! His jump is frighteningly powerfull, and being able to dunk with such a strenght after making a huge jump like that...

He made it: Sakuragi is shown during the show missing a lot of dunks because of his lack of space notion. He didn't have experience enough to know the important distances in basketball. He has to have a space notion to jump and dunk, doing the arm movement in the right timing. Jumping and dunking was a challange for him without being marked. It's shown that Sakuragi had struggles with the psychological pressure during his first "official" match against Ryonan. He also struggles with the fouls and the pressure they put on his shoulders, mainly during Shoyo's match. In this play, Sakuragi dunks in the last minutes of a super tense decisive match, he already had 4 fouls, he was being marked by two players that were taller and more experienced than him and he jumps too far from the basket. He literally overcomes all the limits he had in one single play!

Now about Sakuragi's reaction to his own dunk is the "cherry of the cake". The dunk itself shows his ability development, and to make a good character, this ability development has to happen with a character development.

I strongly believe that Sakuragi's loud behavior, specially during the matches is a defense mechanism against his own thoughts. Deep on his mind, I believe we could find lot of insecurities, that he tries to silence with his ORE WA TENSAAAAAI screaming. Maybe, watching Rukawa and the other players around him, made him think many times, deep in his mind, that he couldn't be good enough. So he put a goal based on Haruko's words about the play "Slam Dunk": if he could make it, he could beat Rukawa and own Haruko's love. However, on his way to make a slam dunk during a match, he found out that basketball is much more than doing a slam dunk. But he only get conscious of this discover when he finally does the slam dunk during an official match. Sakuragi realized, at that moment, that:

He could be good enough at basketball;

Basketball is fun;

He wants to stay at the court the whole game to feel more of that sensation he felt during the dunk;

To stay on the court the whole game, he has to cool down and be less impulsive;

That's when he says that to Ayako. He's starting to take basketball seriously because he's starting to like it. All his chaotic energy finally can be redirected to something he likes and makes him feel like any fight couldn't ever make.

I just love love how Slam Dunk shows in Sakuragi's development how precious and necessary is the virtue of order. If we can order our potentials to something virtuous (like a sport), we can discover meaning on our lives and walk on the marvelous and frighting way of self-mastery;

#slam dunk #slam dunk anime #slam dunk manga #sakuragi hanamichi #hanamichi sakuragi #slam dunk movie #the first slam dunk #slam dunk character analysis #character development

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piningintrovert · 4 months ago

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4 Minutes Ep. 1-2: A Theoretical Stream of Consciousness

Disclaimer: When time permits (hehe), I usually watch the previous episodes before the new one airs. The haphazard mess below are things that I've noticed. Can't really make sense of much of it right now, but I thought it'd be fun to note down.

Great's time of death in the future is 11 o'clock which is also the time he wakes in the present; he dies in PM and wakes in AM

"Time is a flat circle. Everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over and over again … for-ever." - Rust Cohle in True Detective, à la Nietzsche's concept of eternal recurrence

There are moments when the timelines intersect like when Great flatlines and is resuscitated (please please please) in the future vs him having his first panic attack in the present. His near death experience is the catalyst for his visions.

Great is in a coma in the future timeline.

In some East Asian cultures the number 4 is considered unlucky, ominous even (in Chinese, the word for 4 sounds like the word for death). Conversely in numerology, repeating 4's (i.e. angel number 444) are considered auspicious.

Blue scenes, specifically the ones before the title sequence, are from the future timeline. The events that occur after the title sequence will determine whether or not the events in future timeline change.

The color red is ominous:

Red light flashing on the clock when future Great flatlines

Red light on Title's face when he kills Dome

Great's room shrouded in red when the clock reads 11:01

Shareholder's red umbrella when he got shot

Blood, wine etc.

There are 3 timelines in play: past, present, and future

"I didn't know what happen to me. I just lived life normally. But it was my life in the past. Like events in the past were playing in my mind again." - Lukwa during her interview with Dr. Den (Side note: Dr. Den very much in love, smitten if you will). This is why Great is able to have visions of the future—they are the past memories of his future self.

Rotating scenes show the direction and/or flow of time?

Manee dying in Great's dream - clockwise, future

Great going down the stairs - clockwise, present

Great's panic attack at the hospital - counterclockwise, past/present

Tyme coming out of surgery - clockwise, present

Great recapping his visions - clockwise, present/future

Honorable mention to the lighthouse in ep.2 that seems to be keeping time as it rotates clockwise

Scenes that are askew and not exactly rotating show emotional imbalance?

Great bumping into Tyme at the hospital

Great waking up after dreaming of Manee's death

Tyme talking to Manee in her hospital room

The way Tyme looks at Great is not only a look of attraction, but one of recognition:

When Tyme asks Dr. Den about the 4-minute phenomenon, he is also asking for himself, not just Great. Tyme also has visions and/or can see 4 minutes into the future.

#i'm excited to see how many i get right #rae watches #4 minutes #4 minutes the series #4minutes #flashing tw #t:meta #text

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b00tyliciousbabe · 1 year ago

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my baby daddies - ep. 1

my comeback era xx

arón piper x male reader

summary: inside edition the slutty thoughts i have for mr piper xx

notes: hi ppl, hope y’all missed me. i’m back, after like a year of hibernation, with another imagine! hope you guys are all doing well <3 i will be releasing 2 other series (‘the DILFs’ and a surprise one 🤭) so stay tuned! plus y’all better thank me, I lost this draft not once, but TWICEEEE! happy with this iteration though.

apologies in advance y’all this is gonna be chaotic…and my spanish is very rusty.

you met arón on the set of ‘elite’ because you were in between working with the hair and makeup team whilst designing the costumes. You had familiarised yourself with the entire crew and made loads of friends but from day 1 it was clear that your connection with him was unparalleled. the pinnacle of romantic chemistry. it’s giving one of those moments in the films when the two lovers have their meet cute, staring into each others eyes and the rest of the world is just in their peripheral because at that moment only two people exist - you and him. From then on, the whole crew shipped you guys together, with your work besties ester (who plays carla) and mina (who plays nadia) urging you to make out with him. He too was not exempt from this teasing, and a lot of his fellow male cast mates lowkey pressured him to ask you out. Whilst the premiere was coming up, you began sorting out the final designs for the next season, he ran into the studio wearing nothing but calvin briefs.

“Y/N, you’ve gotta help me.” He said desperately. You were taken aback. You’d never seen someone look so hot while they were needy.

“hey arón, what seems to be the problem?” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “can’t you see I’m practically naked?” You bit your lips taking in all of him “failing to see the issue here” which garnered a chuckle from him. “please y/n i’m so lost right now, i have no clue what to do” arón began panting which made you panic a lil bit. Placing your hands on his chest, you calmed his beating heartbeat “it’s okay, you know i’ve got you” Pulling one of your personal designs from the rack, you dressed him like he was your ken doll.

“i can do my own buttons you know,” he smiled watching you concentrate and manipulate the fabric to accentuate his features “i know but you wouldn’t be able to execute the vision i had for you in my mind” his eyes softened “you base your designs off me?” you looked up and met his gaze. “i’m not tryna give you a big head or anything, because it’s already quite elliptical, but kinda i guess.” he giggled as you watched his smile make his face look even cuter. “awww you got a lil crush on me,” aròn chuckled as you playfully beat his chest. “i mean, you’re handsome af I’ll give you that,” you felt his chest heaving with passion “why do you ask?” aròn held both your hands stopping you from working. “y/n,” you look up, all doe-eyed, surprised at the lack of distance between your lips. he breathed closer, opening the gates to your mouth as he graced you with a peck that lasted what felt like ages. the rest was history; that night he debuted the two of you as a couple to which was met with so much love.

you are at your gushiest whenever aròn smiles. it just makes you feel so happy seeing him so cute and all. stroking his cheek in the morning staring at him grinning in his sleep - probably dreaming of you.

the art of communication has always been strong in your relationship. your spanish-german bf was trilingual and meeting you pushed him to learn more on the side. your spanish was decent, certainly nothing to be proud but it improved drastically working on the show and being with aron. you were also highly proficient in two other languages and so he was adding to your roster. your relationship with him was a testament to the betterment of both people in a couple, you both pushed each other to try new things.

aron’s love language is definitely physical touch closely followed by gift giving, and so it made sense that he would buy you jewellery (even giving you his own) so he could both adore and adorn you. your favourite present he’s ever given you was the ‘A’ necklace he flaunts in a lot of his insta posts. he just loves seeing it around your neck - he’s yours. he even has an ‘A’ tattoo that now always reminds him of you.

even in the bedroom the necklace pays a huge role:

“my pretty little muñequita, fuck you feel so good.” he praised, railing you painstakingly slowly in missionary. you watched his eyes mirroring your overstimulated expression, as it darkened with his desire for more. you moved to his necklace which swung gracefully with every deep thrust. “ughhh” aròn’s moans got even loader you picked the pendant up and put it in between his teeth to muffle him. the sweat began to drip off his face as he began to imprint his teeth into the crystals, groaning in pleasure. “Nghhhh nghhh nghhh” it was getting too much for him as he dropped it, all red, hot, and bothered, directly into your mouth. You bit it seductively making your bf smile. other times when he’s hitting it from the back in prone bone, your hot bodies are cooled by the ice around his neck providing an amazing sensation when he spurts his warm cum inside you.

aròn is pretty decently hung, a bit on the skinnier side, nothing monstery, but deffo larger than average and it bends to the left. his favourite position is probably missionary; he wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you. the moans, your eyes, your lips, he wants to soak it all up and treasure every single expression you make whilst he’s inside you. you really like cowgirl as you’ve noticed it gets the most laughs and smiles from him, your biggest weakness. aròn loves it as well. the sight of you holding his pecs, bouncing up and down his pole as he grabs your ass sends him into overdrive. “shit mi amor, ughh, fuck, you sure know how to ride my dick.”

his kryptonite is oral. he’s such a whore for that mouth of yours. you guys waited for quite a while to have any nsfw activity because you wanted to establish a deep romantic connection first. so about 6 months into your relationship, you gave him head for the first time and OH MY GOSHHHH. you were coming back from date night, aròn wore an unbuttoned white dress shirt with chains and rings, all styled by you. it was raining and y’all decided to walk around the city and so tour chivalrous boyfriend offered his blazer to stop you from getting cold. you had never been more attracted to him. the way his wet hair laid messy on his head, abs protruded through his drenched shirt, it turned you on. so when you got into his apartment, you grabbed his hand and took him into the bedroom.

“despacio baby” he chuckled. you pushed him onto the bed, straddling and welcoming him with a kiss. you felt him grow beneath your ass, a sign for you to get on your knees. “y/n, wait what are you doing” aròn says as you began to unbuckle his pants. you didn’t hear, your brain too loud with horny thoughts to answer him. “cariño…” he held your hands at his belt. “are you sure you want to do this.” he asked worriedly, knowing how important sex was to you. “i’ve never been more sure of anything in my life” you mirrored his smirk, as he moved his hands, unbuttoning his shirt whilst you pulled his pants to his trousers. His tan cock stood strong, pink tip peaking through his freckled foreskin. he had a light brown bush leading up to his happy trail, urging you to lick down from his abs to his balls. “I’m so hard right now,” you started bobbing up and down and noticed how much of a panter he was. when he was close you started to deepthroat, to which he responded with a loud moan, yanking his dick out of your mouth and giving you the nastiest facial ever.

fucking loved it, as if he couldn’t love you more already…you were such a cockdrunk slut for him.

music plays a huge part of your relationship. when you guys are in the sheets, the symphony that comes from your bedroom is actually next level. oftentimes, aròn catches you humming and singing in the shower, to your embarrassment. “why are you hiding your face, your voice is incredible.” he praises. for his upcoming album, whilst in the studio, you came to check up on your bf bringing your freshly homemade brownies that you knew he loved. you knew aròn had been having a bit of a hard time completing one of the final tracks. as his team listened back to the record your bf was getting frustrated “ughhh it’s shit!” as he growled chucking song sheets across the room. “y/n you’ve got to speak to him, no one else is getting through to him and we are on a tight deadline” the executives who were present at the times warned. “he’ll be ready, i can assure you” you urged everyone else to leave the room. “aròn.” he didn’t answer. your tone softened, “papí…” you moved to him, noticing how tense he was getting. he looked up at you with teary eyes, hurting at how anxious he was getting. you knew what to do. “come on.” he followed u back into the recording booth. the track was playing, and all you did was talk, he spoke about his issues with fame, love, and life, and it was the perfect outro/interlude. you also added background vocals and harmonies into his tracks and the media went wild for it!

#gay #bottom male reader #aron piper #smut

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