#body language thoughts and feelings

[zukosdualdao]

(forgive the somewhat poor quality screenshots, especially on that third one. wifi is still out at my place post-storm so i took these from youtube and am writing from my phone. alas, alack.)

this is one of my favorite blink-and-you’ll-miss-it facial expression moments in atla. the animators 100% did not have to include this reaction shot of katara, sokka, and suki watching zuko rise back up on one of the war blimps and face off with azula, but i’m really glad they did. i also love the differences in their reactions.

suki’s is the most straightforward to me. she and sokka share similar posture, both of them leaning forward slightly and bracing an arm against appa’s saddle to support themselves. but suki looks almost disdainful, with her eyes narrowed and brow heavily quirked and sort of defiant. i think she’s a lot more focused on the azula of it all, since azula captured her and just last episode she was saying how “this is a rematch [she’s] been waiting for.”

sokka shares suki’s posture but katara’s wide eyes here. his mouth isn’t agape, but it is parted, suggesting in this context some amount of surprise or worry. though they’re all waiting to see what happens, there’s more of an air of… excitement isn’t the right word, because i do think he’s concerned, but anticipation, maybe, of the fight that’s about to come. he fought azula with zuko last ep, after all, and though i do think he’s worried for zuko here, i also get the sense that he has a lot of belief in zuko’s ability to fight her off at this point.

katara’s definitely registering the most shock, with her wide eyes, mouth open in surprise, and raised eyebrows. the most notable thing about this, of course, is that she was only minutes ago deriding zuko for pushing her out of the way of falling rocks, and now her expression actually suggests a lot of concern for him, which is reinforced by her pulling him onto appa’s saddle once he and azula fall. i keep wondering what exactly she’s so shocked about, though. at first i thought it was because they saw him fall and were surprised along with azula to see him alive and still ready to fight—but they were getting everyone onto appa and trying to figure out how to flee, so i’m not sure they would have seen. aang did seem very concerned when zuko told them to go on without him, so it’s possible they weren’t really expecting him to survive in general, even without seeing him fall. (which, fair. facing off against his set-on-murdering him sister alone does not seem conducive to zuko surviving.) but i also wonder if it has something to do with seeing zuko fight azula on their behalf considering the contrast it makes to his siding with azula in tcod. there, he chose azula’s side and katara felt betrayed, which is why she hasn’t been able to forgive him even as he proves he’s on their side. but here, he’s risking his own life to protect them, and while he’s done that before with combustion man, i think this is the first time katara is able to consciously acknowledge to herself that it’s not really about trust anymore. (but later, that only makes her angrier, because she’s still hurt, even though she knows he’s on their side, because she connected with him and wanted to trust him all the way back in tcod.)

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

An Analysis of Gman in Half Life: Alyx

HL:A Gman is by far the most interesting version of Gman I've seen and I've noticed so many details in his one interaction with Alyx, to the point I needed to make a full post about all the bullet points. (Note that this is MY personal interpretation, so it could be different from what was intended or what other people believe)

Starting from the very beginning, when Alyx asks whether Gman is Gordon Freeman or not, he responds in a kind of. Condescending way.

It's almost like he's amused by the fact he was mistaken for Gordon. not to mention the use of "Imprison" in the statement, almost as if he's not only making a snide remark towards Gordon, but also implying that even he sees Gordon's employment as "imprisonment". Not to mention the implication that it really does not take that much to hold Gordon captive in one way or another. Could also be literal, meaning Gordon isn't near powerful enough to require a full Vault be built around him.

A: "So. Who are you?"

Alyx asks a very simple question cause. why wouldn't she be confused? She expected a super-weapon; she expected Gordon Freeman, so when she found nothing but a man in a suit who straight up scoffs at the misunderstanding, of COURSE she'd want to ask questions. However, Gman only responds with:

Gman deflects the question, but rather than completely ignoring it, he simply leads it into a new question: "What can I offer you?"

He guides the conversation to a different topic, luring Alyx away from questioning who, or what, he is, whether it's because he doesn't want to (or can't) give an answer, or if it's because he simply wants the conversation to move forward rather than being caught on the nature of Gman himself.

G: "Some believe the fate of our world is Inflexible. My Employers disagree."

This statement is funny in an ironic way. he states that fate is flexible and can be changed, yet. When was the last time Gman didn't have full say on what can and will happen? By making everything go a very specific way, you CREATE fate.

G: "They authorize me to… nudge things in a particular direction from time to time. What would YOU want nudged, Ms. Vance?"

The use of word "Nudge" is an interesting way to describe changing things within the timeline. though something else that's interesting is his facial expressions during this moment.

He looks almost. Kind. but in a forced sort of way. It feels like he's expecting a certain answer from Alyx, and is just waiting for her to say it.

However, when she says she wants the combine off earth, his expression changes.

The change in expression implies that Alyx's answer was not the one he wanted or hoped for. Thus, he once again ignores what Alyx said and gives his own reasons for it.

G: "Ahhh. That would be a considerably large nudge. Too large, given the interests of my employers."

Rather than giving Alyx a second chance at a more reasonable request however, he instead says:

G: "What if I could offer you something you don't know you want?"

It finally clicks together why Gman's there: To make a deal. Whatever Alyx said before this moment was completely irrelevant. No matter what Alyx requested to have "Nudged", he would have brought up his own offer. He had already mapped out how the conversation was going to end even before Alyx had even begun speaking to him. It was just a matter of getting there.

Gman showing Alyx her fathers death was an intentional and targeted choice. Alyx is a little more naïve here than she is in HL2, not to mention her close relationship to Eli. Eli is one of the only people she has left at this point in her life, so. Why wouldn't she want to save him? This is exactly the reason Gman chose this event in particular above anything else, because he knew it was an offer Alyx would NEVER say no to. He knows Alyx more than she knows herself, and had already predicted the outcome of the situation. So, understandably, Alyx kills the Advisor in place of her father's life.

This line. This line is so interesting to me in particular. Rather than describing Eli as a "person" or "human", and describing the dead Advisor as something "alien", he refers to both as "entities." almost as if he sees both of them on the same wavelength of sorts. It implies Gman sees no difference between a human and an animal, or alien of some kind. Sees them all as simply that. Entities.

Yet another example of Gman deflecting the questions given to him, guiding the conversation instead towards Alyx herself.

G: "A previous hire has been unable — or unwilling — to perform the tasks laid before him. We have struggled to find a suitable replacement. Until now."

Him referring to Gordon in this way is interesting to me. Was the sudden wish to drop Gordon from employment due to the Vortigaunt intervention in HL2 Episode 1? Was it because Gordon was truly incapable of fulfilling certain "tasks"? Or maybe it was because Gordon was not as vulnerable to Gman's influence? It's unclear, and it's also not clear whether this means Gordon is fully free of Gman's control or not.

At this point it's made crystal clear that Alyx killing the advisor in place of her father was a contract she was signing, one she didn't even know she held the pen to. This was always going to be the outcome of the interaction, since the beginning. Everything Alyx had done up to that point was to help Gman and his "Employers" get further in their goals now that Gordon was deemed "Incapable". Nothing that Alyx could have done would've mattered; her "fate" was decided from the beginning.

Overall what I gather from this ending is a lot about Gman as a character. He never truly lies, yet he purposefully leaves out important details, such as the fact that reversing Eli's death wasn't without a price. He manipulates the conversation to fit his wants and needs, ignoring direct questions he sees as unimportant to his goals. And the thing is, he does it in a way that Alyx doesn't even seem to notice. He has played this game so many times that he knows exactly what moves to play. He knows the people he talks to more than they know themselves. He uses their worst fears against them to make them go to him for safety.

Judging by the things Gordon survived in Black Mesa, you can gauge he had a strong will to survive. So what better to do to seal a deal than to threaten that life he cares so much about? To tell him that the only other option was to go under Gman's employment else he face death itself? Alyx had such a strong connection to her father, so what better to do than to tell her that Eli will die if she doesn't do anything, luring her in to sign a contract without even knowing what she was signing?

Gman is a master manipulator, no better words for it. And he always manages to do it in such a way that you can barely even notice it happening. He never raises his voice. he never shows irritation or hostility aside from only one instance. Because why should he be frustrated? He's won even before the game started. And honestly that is frightening to me, cause it shows that he's done this many times before and knows just how to get what he and his "Employers" want, regardless of how it effects other people.

[sadisthetic]

BURST💥

[every-eye-evermore]

I think about this moment often

[hauntingofhouses]

i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).

ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

[an1m3bunbun]

Forcing General!Lilia to finally take care of himself after a very busy day. Helping him take his armor and uniform off, as he breaths a sigh of relief, since he finally feels free.....

Leading him to a steaming bathtub, helping him undress and get in the water. By this point he's still complaining of not needing all of this, but those complaints die down as soon as you gently touch his chest with a washing cloth, wiping away the dirt, sweat and frustration as he starts to relax and enjoy the feeling of being taken care of....

Washing his hair and massaging his scalp will cause him to purr. He hardly does it, as he never really feels safe enough to be this relaxed, always having the protection of those close to him in mind.

As the water starts to get cooler, helping him out and letting him dry himself off, while getting some fresh, comfortable clothes.

Leading him towards the bed, sitting him down to comb and braid his hair, before pulling him under the covers to cuddle and hold each other. Giving him soft kisses, as he tries to pull you even closer, even though that's not possible, while rubbing his nose against yours.

He is thankful for all of it, even if he can't express it right now. But he makes a mental note to cook something for the both of you. Good luck with that.

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

I am sad that Back to the Rock decided to just give Mokey rod-hands full time

In the original puppet show, Mokey had two sets of hand that would be used depending on what was needed for a scene.

A set of rod-hands like the rest of the main Fraggle characters, and a set of live-hands (which are like a pair of gloves that a puppeteer wears to act as the character's hands).

Something easily facilitated by her large billowing robe. Though there's various Muppets who do a similar thing even with tight clothing such as Ernie.

Anyways the live-hands is how it was so easy to do scenes of Mokey doing stuff like painting, writing, throwing things, and other stuff in the original series.

If there's an object that either can't be easily attached to a rod-hand, or that needs to be immediately thrown, there's a pretty good chance Mokey is going to be the one to pick it up.

Such as the "hideous round thing" that she picks up and throws to distract Sprocket in episode 1 of the original series. It's too large and smooth to easily (and realistically) have a rod-handed puppet hold, but a live-handed puppet could pick it up and throw it quiet easily.

It could just be because rod-hands have advanced since the original series, and the hands now have greater pose ability than the kind in the 80s, so live-handed puppets have become redundant when not necessary.

Like Mokey doesn't play the piano or anything super intricate that requires extreme finger dexterity that couldn't just be added in post or something.

Though I do think Mokey's live-hands gave her an expressiveness and groundedness in her movements that the rod-handed puppets didn't have in the original series.

Live-hands are more fluid, dynamic and nimble compared to rod-hands just by default.

When she did something, like paint, or touch something, or even touch her friends, with her live-hands it was always more grounded and believable than when any of the characters with rod-hands did something similar.

Like when Mokey pulls out a poem and is holding it, she's literally holding it with real hands, but if Gobo pulls out a postcard from Uncle Matt that same episode it can look kind of funny, because it just doesn't look as realistic. Sometimes they didn't manage to get the fingers on his rod-hand to close all the way, so the letter is just awkwardly stuck to his hand.

Same with the other rod-hand Fraggles whenever they hold a piece of paper.

Human hand in a glove will always be more 'realistic' (believable) feeling in movement and action compared to a fake hand being controlled by a stick.

And I think that is something missing from the new version of Mokey.

Original Mokey was always an artistic dreamer who could sometimes feel like she had her head in the clouds, but also had these moments of being very grounded and insightful, and was very down to earth in general.

Mokey was the most physically affectionate of her friends in the original, and I feel like that was due to, at least in part, her being a live-hand puppet a lot of the time.

Like there are just scenes where she'll just be holding one of her friends hands while she guides them along, or she'll cradle their heads when she hugs them, and there's just an extra layer of depth that comes with it being done by live-hand puppetry.

There were actions that Mokey as a live-handed puppet could do that the rest of the main cast couldn't do due to her status as a live-handed puppet, and the old show took advantage of that, and I feel like that's where at least a bit of her characterization came from.

Because for a lot of those scenes weren't of Mokey doing something complicated that made live-hands neccessary, no, in a lot of them she's just talking with her friends and gesturing with her hands, or being physically affectionate, and what she's doing with her hands aren't even the focus of what's going on in the scene.

In the episode where Wembley is looking for his job, when Mokey is walking him up to the Gorg's garden to get radishes. She's holding hands with him as she leads him up there, but that's barely in frame at all.

To the point that their hands are bobbing in and out of frame as they walk, and it only lasts a few seconds.

The hand holding was completely unnecessary, it barely makes it into the scene at all, but it was still something the puppeteers decided to do, because Mokey holding her friends hand while leading them somewhere was a Mokey kind of thing to do.

And it's the tiny moments like that, that I think is missing from Mokey in Back to the Rock.

[chimerafeathers]

there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front

how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes

all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).

it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?

why can't laios take things seriously for once?

[dye-it-rouge-et-noir]

"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai

[ID in alt text]

[zukosdualdao]

one honestly tiny detail (it gets focus, but for, like, three seconds) of the agni kai that i love is this moment where zuko's foot slips due to the force of azula's fire pushing him back, but he just calmly recenters/grounds himself. where before the second half of book three, a moment like this might have been proceeded by zuko getting frustrated, allowing azula (or another opponent, maybe, but azula was the best at it) to capitalize on that frustration and get him to go too hard on offense and exhaust himself, here, it's just... such a casual slip that he immediately corrects, no shame, no outward frustration at all. this is the most calm and collected we've EVER seen zuko be in a fight, but this little moment shows he still is, in fact, expending effort, he's just no longer feeling the shame that, say, ozai would want him to feel for having to, and that ultimately makes him more balanced and able to stay calm in the fight.

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Babel-17

sci-fi set in a future in an intergalactic war facing unknown beings only known as ‘invaders’

when a new code from the enemy is discovered, a poet/linguist/cryptographer is asked to try crack it - but quickly realises it’s a language

she assembles a crew to travel to the war yards to study the language, and discovers that learning it changes the way people think and interact with others

explores linguistic relativity

queer and polyamorous characters

[beevean]

A theory I've read more than once is that this one frame of Lenore entering Hector's cell for the second time is proof that she is not actually enjoying what she has to do:

The wiki describes it as such: "Lenore has a sad expression when entering the dungeon to visit Hector the second time."

Also this, from a comment I found:

Like for example when she goes to meet Hector the second time, you can see sadness on her face when she is walking alone in the dungeon, but as soon as she approaches Hector she puts on a smile. I.e. may be she already knew she had to use the ring at that point and felt bad about it but didn't want Hector to realize that. A lot of such small animation details really provide a glimpse into what the explicit writing was lacking.

(edit: turns out that they were the same person)

Okay.

First things first: I doubt she has the ring in mind already. It's hard to tell because Lenore pulls it out of her ass with zero foreshadowing whatsoever, but with the way it was framed, the ring was likely a direct response to Striga's idea of buying mercenaries to make Hector unnecessary, which comes later into the story: Lenore even uses the information she eavesdropped from Striga as a way to lie to Hector about her loyalty to the sisters. In theory it makes sense, because Hector needs to be reliable to be allowed to live, but the ring is... a very poor solution the more you think about it, even if you ignore how S4 neutered it, because it only addresses one of the many logistic problems that come with forcing Hector to make an army of Night Creatures, and it's not the dead bodies/living livestock paradox. And going with the story, it's unlikely Lenore was already thinking of raping the ring into Hector: why would the sisters be amazed at her plan if they were the ones suggesting her to speed up things? And if Lenore came up with it, why would she be remorseful at her own idea? Did she have so little faith in her own manipulating skills that she already felt that she had no choice but to use "brute force", after one understandable incident? Then why even bother interrogating him to understand his motivations and needs? Just skip straight to the sexual molestation to make him believe she likes him. As I pointed out, that interrogation was not for the sake of painting herself as particularly caring: she was collecting intel, intel that she wouldn't need if her plan was already tricking Hector into slavery via a magic ring.

Second: that expression honestly doesn't look sad to me. I would be willing to give the interpretation some credit, because she's looking downwards which can be a sign of sadness, but after that one frame, she switches to this expression:

Now she looks mildly pissy, like the idea of talking to Hector is just soooooo annoying, ugh. She even has the sassy cocked eyebrow lmao.

Of course that can't be it, so I propose the most obvious interpretation: she's serious and deep in thought. That is because their first encounter ended up disastrously: Hector assaulted Lenore with the intent of threatening her, which pissed her off, and she assaulted Hector by beating him to an inch of his life, which is not the best way to win a pet's trust. So she's most likely thinking the best way to approach him again.

And I'll even praise a small detail: the first time Lenore fed Hector, she made him crawl towards her to eat from her hand. The second time, however, she tosses an apple to his feet. Both gestures are demeaning, but after that incident she seems to be more cautious towards him, and being more careful into manipulating him. I'm honestly surprised that her final solution is stupid as fuck when she can be intelligent when she wants to. real reason she's hector's soulmate: both of them have braincells like christmas tree lights :V

Third: oh, do you want to talk about explicit writing?

These are not freeze frame bonuses. The scene lingers on this expression on Lenore's face as Hector is screaming in pain over the ring she put on him.

So, you're willing to believe Lenore didn't want to use the ring but felt forced to because in one frame she has an expression that mildly looks displeased... but somehow you ignore this blatantly sadistic reaction? This screams, at the very least, "haha, sucker, I've won"; but add to this that Hector is visibly and audibly in pain, shocked and scared at the curse overtaking his body during a vulnerable moment...

This ties well with how she beat Hector to a pulp not just out of self-defense, but because she wanted to feel strong and powerful when surrounded by people who underestimate her - the writing might imply that she was offended that Hector too saw her as vulnerable and stupid, but she was explicitly laughing and mocking him while showing off her strength (a strength she doesn't display when, say, Isaac enters her cage: he easily intimidates her). You might read the implication that Lenore spoke about Hector so disgustingly to the sisters to be taken seriously as a vampire mistress and didn't actually want to dehumanize him, but explicitly, even ignoring the forced pet play that showed she had fun treating him like a dog, she reduced him to a "problem to be solved" when complaining about her woes, and when she could have apologized or explained herself she minimized or doubled down on the harm she caused, never once expressing any remorse or doing anything worthwile to make up for it (like, for example, talking about the ring and how it's a shame Hector is only there because he has no choice because she feels they'd be good friends without it: that would imply guilt).

In fact, going back to the moment when Lenore decides to use the ring, it is far more likely that it was in response to this part of the conversation Lenore has eavesdropped:

Striga: We can possibly push east as far as Lake Balaton before I run out of soldiers, but that exposes our Western border. Morana: Sleep. Striga: We can't do it without Lenore turning the forgemaster, and she's just taking him out for fucking walkies. Morana: She will land him. Striga: It's going to have to be soon.

Considering that it's shown that Lenore highly resents being seen as a stupid animal lover, it's far easier to think that this is when she got pissy and decided to use a quicker method, even if it destroyed all the hard manipulation work she had done.

One frame might paint her as a reluctant villain only trying to make everyone happy and being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but multiple scenes paint her as a vile bully and abuser who enjoys feeling in power and control, whether she uses kindness or harm to achieve her goal.

I'm sorry, subtext can absolutely enrich the understanding of a story or character, but not when it actively contradicts the text.

Do you want my personal example? I'll play the same game of overanalyzing expressions. When Isaac attacks the castle, Lenore goes to rescue Hector first thing, instead of checking on Carmilla. For one moment, she even looks torn on where to go:

I will praise this moment: this shows her concern for him quite nicely and that she believes his safety is the first priority, without having to spell it out - no declataration of love, no "you're too important to me", the action speaks for itself. However, there is also her reaction when Hector severs his finger to get rid of the ring, after he explains that "command and control flows through [him] to Lenore here and to her friends":

It could be simple disgust because, well, there's a severed finger and pools of blood lying near her. But I also see what the commenter saw in that frame in S3: sadness. Defeat. Lenore has lost control of the Night Creatures. She can't do anything to protect Carmilla and the castle. And she has lost control of Hector, who has gone behind her back and is protecting her at the expense of her sisters and home: he may chose to stay with her, but he also gave Isaac all the tools he needs to destroy her life. She's powerless. Everything she has worked for went up in smokes and was pointless. Which, as it was shown and told, greatly bothers her. (this is also why I believe her suicide makes sense for her state of being, an opinion apparently not shared by her fans)

I see all of this encapsulated into that expression that mixes disgust, concern and quiet, horrified realization: and it's also fully backed up by the context.

This leads to the message I keep insisting on and which is something that more people need to learn, and the reason I keep eviscerating this character because the writing and the fandom piss me off something fierce: abusers can care about you. They can care about your safety and well being, they can want what (they think) it's best for you. What makes them abusers is that they place more importance on their own need of control. Lenore wanting to save Hector because she pitied him, has grown close to him and eventually finds in him someone who listens to her doesn't at all erase in the slightest all the harm she has caused him: which, I reiterate, includes lying to him and taking advantage of his feelings and need for love to trick him into sex with the objective of placing a slave ring on him, and enjoying his suffering when she won - and when Hector called her out on this, her response was "SHUSH, YOU WERE HAVING FUN".

At the end of the day, she has never stopped behaving like a vampire, a creature whose definition of love is "acting to keep something with you for as long as you can". Even in her most wholesome scenes, like this one or the one where she pleads for more of Carmilla's patience, it's easy to see at the core of it all a need to control the situation and people involved, and reluctance to admit her needless cruelty. This is nuance, not "she's actually good deep down, pls ignore all the sexual abuse because it was for Hector's own good 🥺".

On one hand, it's true that when you do character analyses, you will always be biased, because you come in with your ideas and preconceptions. I am biased too, of course, you can tell. On the other, it's dishonest to cling only onto the most convenient hidden details to look like you have fully understood the text, when you dismiss the most obvious ones that are so obvious you have to actively try to.

[batsplat]

follow up to this post that provides the context of the donington 2008 race, and also some photos with more than three pixels of valentino and casey with their arms around each other

so. *cracks knuckles*. let's talk about jorge and valentino. if you want to understand the texture of the early years of that dynamic, there are worse places to start than checking out the bit of jorge's biography where he talks about valentino attempting to calm down the crowd at misano 2009

the post about that rivalry linked to above doesn't go into much detail about this passage, mainly because that thing was quite frankly getting long enough as it is. but the passage really does capture some key elements that give you a sense of what the vibe was like back then - including jorge loving the donkey ears and needing the world to know how much he loved the donkey ears. you've got jorge's desire to learn from valentino, acknowledging the skill with which valentino bounced back from a disastrous weekend, talking about how he can orchestrate a crowd. jorge's professed belief that there is nothing wrong with the crowd reaction as they are simply backing one of their own. this intense preoccupation with public personas, with fan perception, with what constitutes acceptable standards of conduct within a rivalry, how to engage in honourable combat, man to man and all of that... the air of pompousness, of earnestness verging on self-seriousness that is so central to young jorge's whole deal. and on valentino's end, it is important to pay attention to how he is willing to make gestures in the name of keeping the rivalry civil. in truth, he knows that he can still rely on the public sphere to make jorge's life rough. let's not forget, after all, that the way-too-online jorge was far more affected by spaniards talking shit about him on the internet on valentino's behalf - italians just don't matter as much because their partisanship is essentially already factored in. unlike at certain other stages of his career, however, valentino can throw in these little symbolic acts to calm the waters, to show he doesn't actually want to be jorge's enemy. they're just rivals, after all; they can behave respectfully towards each other. below all the sturm and drang and drama, valentino's approach to managing rivalries in that era involves a general reticence to allow things to get too nasty between himself and his new rivals. that will not always mean that the non-valentino side of those rivalries perceived valentino's behaviour that way - but obviously they are not applying the same standards. valentino's points of comparison are fist fights and curses. what feels excessive to him is rather radically different to where some of his younger rivals would draw the line

while jorge will at least outwardly claim he takes no issue with the hostility of the fans, casey takes a rather different approach. it is one of the biggest themes of his rivalry with valentino: casey having an awful time with the public and resenting valentino for it. valentino will not have been the only reason for how poorly the fans received casey - there are elements of casey's personality that would probably have always made him a tricky sell to the fanbase. still, the extent to which the public adored valentino and wished him to win above all others obviously and undeniably contributed heavily to the vitriol with which casey was met. (to return to jorge, he is the more clear cut example where his lack of popularity was a combination of different factors - plenty of fans already hated him for his antics in 250cc well before he was anything approaching a threat to valentino.) abusive fan mail, fans physically assaulting him when he was riding around on scooters, booing... the main country casey associates with that hostility is england. italians specifically don't actually ever really come up - probably in large part because there were plenty of ducati fans in italy who supported him even when fighting valentino. but the english fans? no such conflicting loyalties whatsoever. obviously, they loved valentino - and the sports culture in that country being what it was... well, that love could easily get ugly for anyone who posed too great a threat. (not to get into the ins and outs of british vs european identity but it is funny sometimes how casey talks about english speakers in the paddock As Good - "I only speak to english-speaking riders" he says in 2009 - and also european fans As Bad, but then the only specific european fanbase he ever properly complains about is the english. casey radically pro-european in essentially separating out the concept of 'english-speaking' from The English and also then treating The English as like... quintessentially european. anyways.) and for whatever reason, they had it in for casey in a way they never quite seemed to for any of valentino's other rivals. there's obviously also the deeply personal element where he has family in england, he moved there directly from australia as a teenager... on paper, this should have been a country that offered him support, or at the very least didn't actively hate him. it felt more like a betrayal - it's a similar dynamic to why jorge was particularly frustrated by the spanish fans not backing him. the english fans being so unkind to casey was a particularly bitter pill to swallow because he never would have expected it from them

casey obviously feels quite strongly that valentino should have done something about this behaviour and didn't. depending on how much stock you put into certain write-ups of races in britain over the years, it is at least possible that valentino quite deliberately made casey's life more unpleasant in britain. all of which would make it particularly interesting if valentino did go for a little bit of a symbolic gesture with casey too, like he did with jorge. during the race weekend of donington 2008, casey was having a rough time of it (well, outside of the actual racing, where he was slaughtering the field lol) and was as ever outspoken in his irritation. he tended to have plenty of complaints about donington whenever he went - not just with the fans but also the track and just, like, the vibe being off, wasn't really ever enthusiastic about the place. none of this stopped him from winning the race by a country mile, of course. back then there were still track invasions after races, which is a safety nightmare at the best of times - but it was worse for casey, who talks afterwards about the "abuse" he got from the crowd on that lap. which does make you pay closer attention to how valentino catches up, darts ahead of casey, and basically leads him quite closely through the worst bit of the crowd to parc fermé; it's something that is remarked on in the commentary, how valentino has essentially gotten casey to follow him on their 'shaky' cooldown lap

here you have the traditional post-race thumbs up and shake of hand

and then a few moments later, the densest part of the crowd

deliberate gesture to ward off the worst of it by essentially providing a line to follow to casey, or just a coincidence?

then you have the podium, where... well, you can barely ever actually hear booing on the broadcast for any race lol, dismal sound quality, casey definitely complained about it after the race so we know it happened. but having turned up the volume all the way, in the process permanently damaging my hearing - I'm fairly confident I can hear something that sounds vaguely like jeering and boos turn into what is definitely louder cheers when valentino puts his arm around casey, as depicted at the top of this post. I have watched way too many valentino podiums over the years, and I will say that a full arm around the shoulder isn't exactly common from him. amateur body language analysis corner, but there's something interesting in how valentino doesn't actually meet casey's eyes while he's doing it, looks straight ahead at the crowd while putting his arm around casey - there is obviously something quite performative about it, something quite pointed, something the crowd immediately picks up on and responds to... hold, hold, hold as they get the photos done, pat pat on the back, and then valentino lets his arm drop. casey of course reciprocated with his own arm vaguely around valentino, and he does also bust out the full grin right at valentino at the end there (you can see it if you lean really close to your screen). which the amateur body language analysts might conclude indicates appreciation for the gesture

now, look, I have fuck all reporting and only a few forum posts to back up what essentially amounts to squinting at footage of a race you've watched for the nth time in order to induce motorcycle racer-themed hallucinations. I'm about 50/50 on the cooldown lap, that might just be reading too much into it, but the podium does feel a lot more clear cut - and the combination of the two (plus jorge's testimony establishing that this sort of behaviour might be something valentino is vaguely inclined to do during this specific time period) is JUST enough to make me buy there's something deliberate there. your mileage may vary. also important to note that valentino's actual response in 2008 to casey's english fan situation was a big old shrug - aka some talk about how casey did complain rather a lot about everything to do with this race and also rumination about the ancient hatreds still raging between the anglo nations of the world to this day. he certainly was not willing to go on the record and admit to any responsibility for the animosity. given that valentino is not an idiot, he did obviously know that partisanship in his favour was in large part to blame for casey's reception in britain - not something, at the end of the day, he's going to be losing too much sleep over. still, he's aware of it, which is why the arm around the shoulder works the way it does, right? because he knew the crowd would respond to it. and it's just... these little symbolic touches that do matter when establishing the tone in 2008. valentino was willing to use pretty much the whole toolkit against casey to crack the toughest of nuts - hell, give him two more races and he'd bust out a hithertofore unseen couple of tools - but it was not quite the ugly fervour of past feuds at their peaks. instead, here we have someone simply playing the game and trying to judge how far to push things at any given moment, when it made sense to twist the knife and when it was better to play nice. valentino didn't actually want casey to hate him. given what valentino was willing to do to win motorcycling competitions (including not stepping in more firmly against his own fanbase, yes), casey coming to hate valentino was very much the end result of valentino's actions in those few years. which still does not mean that this was the intent behind valentino's actions; there are feuds of his where he is actively attempting to provoke his rivals, but this was not one of them (during the years where they were meaningful on-track rivals, which is just a blanket caveat I'm applying to the rest of this post). if casey came to hate him, then of course that was a price worth paying - but given a choice, valentino would generally opt for the cordial approach

this preference is reflected in the way he generally talked pretty positively about his dynamic with dani and casey in 2008, e.g. "the relationship between me, casey and dani is more normal, whereas biaggi was always saying bullshit". it's there in the descriptions of valentino using charm with his rivals, being free in his compliments ("when rossi gets beaten he makes sure to praise whoever has defeated him"). and, look: valentino was skilled at being a gracious loser, he did tend to throw some pretty effusive compliments especially in casey's direction when he lost to him, always preferring to bite his opponents harder from a position of strength etc etc. (still fond of this line from the guardian article about catalunya 2007: '"truly, casey is riding like a god," said the italian, who is rarely guilty of making an understatement.' please allow him. also, what if casey is just riding so well that this actually IS an understatement, what then.) yes, casey felt like valentino wasn't being particularly complimentary, that the compliments had dried up by the end of 2007. that's the thing about this rivalry, right, like you do have to remember that casey obviously isn't able to perfectly read valentino's intentions lol. valentino did still lob plenty of compliments casey's way - and actually said in 2009 that casey had started criticising valentino more when casey started winning after having been more complimentary before that, which is such a lovely example of both of them just being so fundamentally at odds that their grievances perfectly mirror each other. but the problem is that even if valentino was still saying nice things about casey, 1) it's human nature to pay more attention to one insult than nine compliments - and casey is particularly susceptible to this, and 2) what valentino considers 'keeping a rivalry civil' looks completely different from casey's understanding of that concept. (at times casey would probably be better served applying a generational lens than a cultural one lol - there's a reason why some retired racers found it remarkable how nice valentino was about his opposition.) valentino cools off towards casey interpersonally as part of his working process in title fights, doesn't go out of his way to provoke casey but does want to apply pressure wherever possible using all the little tricks he can along the way. which is understandably received as active hostility by casey (who is also still extremely young at this point) - but that doesn't necessarily mean this was actually the intent. when valentino wants to make an enemy out of you, typically you do notice it pretty quickly

see too how both of them are willing to engage in the song and dance of calling a truce at brno 2008, with only a couple of barbed comments attached from both sides. casey had given valentino grounds to escalate the conflict in the aftermath of laguna (including obviously the 'I'm faster than him and he knows it' thing), but valentino more or less refrains from doing so. an arm around the shoulder to get the crowd to give it a rest, accepting an apology without too much fuss... smiles and jokes and plenty of civility in-person... there have been valentino feuds that are considerably easier to spot at a distance, such is the interpersonal rancidity. all this while valentino is concurrently stepping up the on-track intimidation, but to him there is no contradiction there. valentino wasn't provoking casey for shits and giggles - he believed he had to do something not to lose the title that year. and... well, you can find his actions morally questionable, but it's a bit tougher to argue with the actual logic underlying valentino's behaviour. laguna 2008 isn't a case of valentino's need to create enemies expressing itself in attacks on his rivals for no good reason - it's a case of valentino being willing to do whatever it takes to win, even if it ends up making a new enemy. again: valentino is certainly using his entire playbook to exert pressure on casey - but at the same time, casey is not being treated like an actual enemy. at times, casey will have read a little too much outright animosity into valentino's approach... even though by his standards, valentino was trying to keep things reasonably cordial. it's just that he had a comically different understanding of what that looked like from casey. to understand that rivalry, you do have to get that a part of valentino's toolkit in those years was the interpersonal friendliness - a public willingness to perform civility. all you need to do is compare how the pair of them act around each other in the aftermath of that rivalry's biggest flashpoint (aka laguna '08) to how things play out in literally every single other valentino feud. (I know I started this post off talking about jorge and broadly speaking valentino does adhere to the same approach in 2009. but, 1) his relationship with jorge was a lot icier than his relationship with casey right from the start, partly because valentino just flat out disliked jorge, and 2) 2009 might star that rivalry's best duel but does not feature its major flashpoints, cf motegi 2010 and *checks smeared notes* something about a spanish conspiracy? - so it's not quite as notable jorge and valentino keep it vaguely polite.) from valentino's perspective, he escalates only as far as he has to. he's not emotionally invested enough to be all that offended by casey's response to laguna 2008, if anything can derive additional satisfaction from it... the race did what it was supposed to - he'll gladly accept a handshake of apology in its aftermath

sometimes, hygienic rivalry management involves giving off some mixed signals to confuse the opposition, to keep them guessing. it's a more uncertain situation than being outright enemies, one that makes it a little trickier for the opposition to parse how to approach that rivalry going forward, how nasty to be in response... valentino is happy enough to play this game when it comes to casey. the compliments, the public cordiality, the little gestures when he's feeling like it... charming off the track and vicious on it - all while dripping a steady dose of poison into the public discourse, attempting to make casey's life as difficult as possible. casey is the worst victim out of any of valentino's rivals of this two-faced approach, this disconnect between person and character casey himself is well aware of. even when the feud on paper should have been at its worst, valentino does not feel the need to cut casey off entirely. usually valentino does skew more clearly one direction or the other at any given time - usually he's at least a little more willing to show his hand, not mix pleasantries with cruelty quite so liberally. but he does not want casey to be his enemy. what a nuisance, right... can't like him can't loathe him certainly can't get rid of him

[thecallofmedusa]

let our bodies intertwine the way our souls should, until we cannot tell where i start and where you end, let us become one person from how close we are, until not even the gods could separate us, for they would not know which parts belonged to me and which belonged to you.

[apocalypse-boogie]

I gotta be honest, I don’t engage with the Criminal Minds fandom (despite having watched all of the original show + Evolution and read up on as much of the spin-offs as I could) because I don’t like how prevalent the racism and sexism and infantilization is in the fandom. There’s just enough of all that shit upfront that I don’t want to dig any deeper than I already have. I’m good, I get enough of that shit in fandoms that I’ve been apart of for years I’m not gonna let this shit sully my love for this show anymore than it already has (especially considering the show’s writing itself is not devoid of these faults).

I’d rather just love the show and dissect it and write analysis and fanfic for it and shit on my own.

My fav characters (just cause & kind of in best to least order): Penelope Garcia (she’s literally me, I love her), Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jordan Todd, Matt Simmons, David Rossi.

[talentforlying]

one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.

canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.