#and why hilson was always on course

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x05, "daddy's boy"

motorcycles, lying, daddy issues, and gay people.

i'd completely forgotten that house's parents much such an early appearance! i spend too much time revisiting 5x04, i guess. overall, i enjoyed this one for the intrigue it built toward information about house's parents (which we expertly get so little of) and for a very definitive glimpse into house and wilson, the season 2 version. but like i said above, i can't believe how sidelined the patient and his father are in this one; the kid dies! for house's character development, of course.

i'm gonna break form and talk about house and wilson first (the gay people in question) because we get motorcycles, dinner dates, and evil little games all in one (which tie back to the larger theme i'll get to). look at their color synergy!

let's bullet point this part of my recap. and pretend for now that the loan was necessary for house to acquire the motorcycle:

wilson loaned house $5k. this already seems like an exceptionally stupid decision, yet later on, he reveals that he never even expected to get it back. point 1 for needing neediness.

house md unique symbolic use of vehicles (and the hilson roadtrip motif) is very apparent and interesting here. by driving a motorcycle, house is both subverting ableist expectations and experiencing freedom. but, here, that freedom is contingent on wilson's loan, which complicates things.

in the distant, microscopic background of this episode, wilson's marriage is collapsing: "you'd rather have dinner with your wife?" "yes, i would...if she were speaking to me." "unlike her, i can make it worth your while." "fine." push comes to shove, the other shoe drops, etc. in a few episodes, but this is another example of wilson flocking to house (the reliable trainwreck) when he needs A Fix.

in conclusion, this loan/dinner arrangement (a total farce, btw) is associating freedom with a necessary breaking of heteronormativity. for wilson, marriage is excessively transactional, yet this exchange with house is a net-negative for him on all superficial accounts. as we'll find later, they're actual equals in how they've been lying to each other.

i like how they represent this equality visually, too, house with the fruits of the $5k loan and wilson with the vestige of house's mobility:

LATER, all of this meta becomes somewhat undone when we learn that the only reason why house really wanted to go to dinner was to avoid his parents, that he didn't need the $5k loan and was only testing wilson's attachment to him, and that wilson lies to house just as much as the inverse. i adore this scene, you guys.

i think it's natural for audiences to assume, at first, that wilson would be hurt by the fact that the $5k loan wasn't necessary, but his real takeaway is way funnier and more deranged than that: "you're trying to objectively measure how much i value our friendship?" (my notes say "here we go" after that line). wilson is more so fascinated by house's motives, and we, the viewers, get an inside look into how these 2 operate: it's always a game.

the way they dissect this game is what sets this conversation apart from the remainder of the episode, as well as the show's longstanding theme of lying. house confesses to the lie; wilson reveals that he only cares because he wants to know more about house and his family; house acknowledges that, had wilson just left well enough alone, they both would have stayed happy. this is quite exactly how one would describe a "typical" (cynical) marriage; lying so the other one isn't harmed or inconvenienced. this realization hits wilson like a ton of bricks:

this is where i'll circle back to the episode at large. the transparency between wilson and house is what the other characters cannot figure out; only wilson seems aware of the novelty of their arrangement here. 2x05 asks the following questions about it's central theme of "lying":

can we love the people we lie to?

if the truth is hurtful, should we say it to our loved ones?

what should remain unspoken between loved ones?

can we love unconditionally?

because it's house md, we don't get a singular answer, just myriad versions of potential answers. the patient, carnell hall, and his father, ken hall, seem incapable of telling one another the truth unless certain death hangs over their heads. as the episode continues, it gets increasingly difficult to stand their lies, but when it's revealed that a gift ken gave carnell is what's killing him (a radioactive piece of metal from ken's scrapyard), there's no doubting the love between them:

ken bold-face lies to carnell that he'll be okay, but nobody could ever doubt this decision in good conscience. so sure, we can love those we lie to, but does this imply that ken and carnell needed conditions to love?

we can look to house and his parents for the opposite scenario (and, for argument's sake, i'm only working with the info we get from 2x05 regarding john house). earlier, house claimed that parents "lie to us because they love us" in the pejorative. while ken and carnell avoid each other, john and blythe house are dead-set on visiting house before they leave on their trip. they don't afford him any privacy, invade the precious environment that is PPTH, and something really nasty gets said along the way:

"last i checked, you still have 2 legs. you know what you're problem is, greg? you just don't know how lucky you are."

thanks, john (what's up with dads named john being the worst @ supernatural?)

john is unabashedly honest with house (not that what he's saying is true; they are just his honest feelings) and nothing good comes of this. it's hard to imagine that john loves his son, especially not with the way he looks down his nose at him, and seems so repulsed by his son using a cane. after the entire episode insists that house endures his parents company for just a little while, 2x05 abruptly recants - maybe it's not worth the truth; maybe the truth isn't kind, and ought to have been concealed. maybe we need some conditions to love here.

i'm gonna give wilson some flowers here - i think he makes up the murky grey area between these 2 extremes in 2x05. house deeply values transparency in most cases, but not all. he understandably would have preferred his dad to keep that ableist remark to himself. in that moment, unconditional love would have sufficed. someone who loves unconditionally would not have felt so compelled to drop that bomb. someone who loves unconditionally wouldn't even feel the need to lie like ken hall. they would live and let live. they would lie about the superficial and cherish the deeper parts.

i offer, again, house handing wilson his cane:

but what really drives home this point about wilson for me is he and cameron's subplot in 2x05. when they figure out why house wants to go to dinner with wilson so badly, they concoct a scheme to force house and his parents together, along with the chance to tag along and do some psychoanalysis.

however! when cameron realizes the delicacy of the situation between house and his parents, she, too, recants. she forgoes her chance to get an inside look at house and "how he got this way." she decides to not answer the first and second questions i posited earlier. she errs on the side of the unconditional. however house got "that way" is not necessarily her business.

and this is exactly why she's rewarded with information from him.

"thank you for not eating...my dad's just like you. not the caring till your eyes pop out part. just the insane moral compass that won't let you lie to anybody about anything."

in house's purview, cameron may just stand in the true middle of honesty and lying when it comes to someone's capacity to love. she can care enough to back up the demands of her moral compass. this doesn't make it sustainable, however, and i think this is one of the main reasons house and cameron remain so incompatible. she seems confused by the remark, touched and a little bit haunted, because part of the comment is a compliment, while the other, the association with john house, certainly is not.

it helps, then, that wilson is house's broken moral compass that only points correctly a few times in a year (i think i left an identical comment in the tags of one of my recaps).

my final comment is totally separate from the other parts of the episode. i just have to mention that chase telling ken hall that carnell isn't going to make it is the second time i've cried this rewatch...and the first was when chase hugged his dad, rowan, back in 1x13. idk what they put in this blonde australian doctor but it's certainly working on me. it's certainly significant that the son with deceased father (chase) is the one to tell a current father that his son is soon to be deceased, especially since their relationship is on the rocks.

[bowie-boy]

House spoilers for pre season 7 (sorry this is gonna be long and maybe cause discourse)

The misogyny of House MD’s writing team needs to be studied. It is so damaging to the actual plot and structure of the show in a way that genuinely boggles my mind, and so immense that it gives the show a queer subtext I don’t think it was intended to have. This applies heavily to the way Alison Cameron is written but this post is largely about Lisa Cuddy.

Looking past fanon and subtext, Cuddy is such a poorly written character because of the misogyny of the writing team. What do we know about her character? She’s a mom, she’s a girlboss head of medicine, and she’ll do absolutely anything for House. I’m not saying that she’s not a strong woman—she’s great in stressful situations, she’s business-minded, and she has complex and interesting perspectives on situations within the show.

But she seems to exist entirely for House in a way a lot of the other characters don’t. This of course includes her physical appearance. Cuddy is always in tight, low cut clothing so House can make sexually inappropriate comments to her. Worse, she only acts disgusted by this, before smiling and giggling as soon as he walks away, implying that she liked his behavior and it’s okay.

But Cuddy’s character is so House-centric too. All her major relationships and life goals are seen through House’s eyes and manipulated for him, especially her relationship with Lucas. All her work in the hospital seems largely oriented to helping House, which is true of many characters, but she doesn’t have a rich inner life the way the others do. Her adoption of Rachel is kind of an arc, but falls into the background as soon as it becomes too inconvenient to deal with. She doesn’t have a meaningful relationship given a lot of screen time (Foreman and Thirteen, Chase and Cameron, Taub and his wife). She doesn’t have a deep personal issue to get over (Chase’s murder, Thirteen’s disease, Foreman’s fear of becoming House). She exists largely as a plot device and a sex object, which makes it so difficult for her relationship with House to have real weight.

Opposingky, Hilson is such a powerful ship in a way Huddy isn’t because Wilson is a fully fleshed out character. He has interests, flaws, arcs, character traits, etc. outside of House and is a character in his own right that interacts with House in a unique way. His and House’s relationship is more than flirting—it’s supporting each other, getting to know each other, and living their own lives. This makes their intimacy and dynamic so rewarding and fun in a way I personally don’t find Huddy to be. Yes, Cuddy is there for House when he’s struggling to quit Vicodin, but this doesn’t even prove to be real. They don’t share a meaningful relationship outside of work at all. House interacts more intimately with his ducklings than Cuddy in most episodes.

Cuddy takes House’s abuse like Wilson does, but I can’t understand why in the way I understand it with Wilson. There seems to be no reason why she keeps getting pulled back to House other than that she’s a hot woman and he needs a female love interest. This is why the season six finale fell flat for me. Yes, House and Cuddy have chemistry, but their actual RELATIONSHIP is so underestablished.

Who are House and Wilson to each other outside of work? Roommates, best friends, bar buddies, etc. Who are House and Cuddy to each other outside of work? Nothing.

[styxundrgrnd]

Hilson Drabble, Once Upon A Time AU

Wilson muffled his cries with his hands as he leaned against the wall for support. On the other side of the living room, House sat alone on the couch. His expression was unreadable. 

If Wilson didn't know any better, he'd assume the bastard, the great Rumplestiltskin, felt guilty. At least a little bit. 

As he should, Wilson thought bitterly. 

He was tired of being lied to, or being manipulated. He wasn't another deal the man could bargain with. 

“You don’t get to tell me you love me now,” he squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to look at the other man. “Not after everything.” 

Hot tears streamed down his face like a running faucet, his chest rising and falling rapidly. 

Of course, none of this would have happened if James had not fallen in love with Greg House. His heart wouldn't have been shattered into a million pieces if he had just stayed away when he had the chance.

Greg House was a man of many names: Rumplestiltskin, The Crocodile,The Dark One. 

When Wilson first heard the names people whispered behind the man’s back, he couldn't help but laugh. Surely, they were talking about someone else, right? Not his Greg. He wouldn't hurt anyone. 

Oh, how naive he was.

Over the course of their relationship, James quickly grew familiar with House’s darker side. He stole from others and made deals with the wrong people. He was the reason why everything and everyone he loved and cared about was tarnished. Manipulated. Warped into something unrecognizable. 

God, James was so stupid.

The brunet scrubbed at his face, wiping away the tears and snot. As he composed himself, he glanced over at House. The man was staring at the floor, his hands folded in his lap. His cane hooked on the arm of the couch. 

James exhaled shakily. 

“I can't do this anymore–I won't do this anymore.”

House glanced up. 

“You always say that,” he mumbled and the brunet gritted his teeth. 

“Are you serious? You're not going to apologize after everything–” Wilson couldn't help but yell, which caused House to flinch, slightly. Ah, so the man can show emotion. 

James continued, ignoring the other’s discomfort. 

“For lying to me? Lying to our friends and family?” 

House narrowed his eyes. “I don't have friends.”

Wilson scoffed. “Of course you don't! God forbid the great Rumplestiltskin care about anyone besides himself!” 

“I care about–”

“Don't finish that sentence,” Wilson threatened, pointing an accusing finger. “Not when you don't mean it. You can't toy with my emotions like this, House. I'm done. It's over.”

[aizenat]

I think the reason I’m so disinterested and unimpressed with Sabrina Carpenter is because her aesthetic vs her music just doesn’t click at all. I always think of Amy Lee from Evanescence, and how any fan of theirs knows Amy isn’t super into goth/alt aesthetics and fashion. HOWEVER, because of her singing style and the type of music she was making, she knew she would need to dress the way she did (particularly during Fallen and The Open Door) because that matched the sound she was making. In this case, the ART was the focus while the look she took on was just to match/amplify that.

Sabrina’s boring music doesn’t match the aesthetic she’s going for. Hypersexual and pinup dolly doesn’t work with slow, melodic songs with sing-sighing vocals. It needs something bouncy and energetic. OR it needs powerful vocals. Like imagine Sabrina looking all small and cute and then opening her mouth to sing like a fucking angel. But she doesn’t have the vocal chops to make that contradiction. Her voice is mid at best, her lyrics are tedious and uninspiring, and the musicality of her songs are so boring that they should be played at daycares to help the toddlers relax for their naps. It’s not dance music, not club music, not even the bouncy pop music you’d think she’d be making with that aesthetic. Like what are we doing here?

It’s literally why yall mocked jojo siwa last year for her karma rebrand attempt; her weird gene simmons impression didn’t match this bouncy pop sound she was trying to do. If jojo had committed to a hard rock sound, her black glam look could have been a campy homage to that era of rock. It could have worked. But the dark look matched with her happy go lucky personality and the overly produced pop sound didn’t correlate well. They were too mix matched, causing the rebrand to look lame.

The fact that yall refuse to admit Sabrina’s rebrand is doing a similar thing to me shows how how committed yall are to heteropatriarchy; jojo tries to express her same sex attraction and is over the top with it so it’s cringe, but when Sabrina goes over the top with “expressing” her opposite sex attraction (as mans best friend of course) with her album cover, it’s not cringe but irony? She gets ppl aggressively mocking the criticism to defend her, but none of yall defended a much younger pop act who was obviously still trying to figure her shit out (lol)? Hmmm. I wonder if jojo had been loudly talking about fucking men if yall would have defended her then.

Either way, my point really is that Sabrina is too mix matched with what she’s trying to do. And it’s because she’s obviously stopped caring about the music and only cares about marketing herself as a product. Sis had FIVE fucking albums yall slept on, and sis figured yall didn’t care about her music. So she switched up her look and now yall wanna pretend the music is good? lol her music didn’t change that much (aside from following the trends of this decade vs the last decade); it’s still overly produced pop garbage. But you WANT it to be good now BECAUSE you like the rebrand. The music always comes second for zoomers especially, and Sabrina is the perfect representation of how gen z doesn’t care about quality or content anymore over the shiny veneer of “aesthetics.”

We used to say “you can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig” or “you can put diamonds on a pile of shit but it’s still a pile of shit.” Indicating that you can make something look as nice as possible, but if the quality of the product is trash, it’s trash. It’s why labels couldn’t find their next blonde after Britney; it’s why Jessica Simpson and Mandi Moore never had big careers and why Christina and Pink only did when they made a point to make sure their image was different from Britney’s to say “I’m not trying to be like her.” It’s why keyshia cole and keri hilson never got big either; they can site whatever excuses, but they were obviously Beyonce copycats. And sure that worked if you needed a female feature on a rap track and couldn’t afford Beyonce or Ciara, but that wasn’t enough for everyone to listen to them or care about them. Ciara didn’t have the vocals or vision to do what Beyonce was doing, so she differentiated herself by being the sexy tomboy who would dance real hip hop in her videos. That’s why Ciara was on par with Beyonce as the top rnb girlies in the 2000s (until Beyonce went fully pop with the Sasha Fierce album); she set herself apart from Beyonce.

Christina could sing better than Britney, so that justified her career. Pink is a great singer too, and she had a punk flare that really worked in the late 90s and 00s. Lady Gaga did the hyperpop blonde look, but she always made it weird and off kilter to show she wasn’t here to be another industry puppet. Lady Gaga, imo, really perfected that balance of being pretty and blonde and marketable while bringing real vision and artistry to her music. Her wacky antics and style just highlighted the wackiness of her music. The upbeat melodies paired with her dynamic voice meant the music itself was fucking amazing and different and thus she needed to be different to match it. And she’s always meeting the moment that way; when she did Joanne, she toned her music and aesthetic down. She understood how weird it would be to try to do a Bad Romance like aesthetic to Million Reasons.

Sabrina isn’t the only offender of this (yes I’m looking at that Midwest pauper), but it’s just so egregious how I’m supposed to pretend her music and aesthetic makes sense. Or pretend because her aesthetic is cute, I have to like her music, or the music is good. Why is the music good now, ON HER SIXTH AND UPCOMING SEVENTH ALBUMS, but not before she started the Marilyn Monroe impression? Did the music get better or do you just buy products that look pretty even if they’re trash?

And considering how every week I’m learning about a new gen z hyper fixation that yall can buy and consume (those labubu keychains or whatever? wtf is up with that????), I’m more apt to believe it’s the latter than the former. Gen z is the generation that you can sell literal shit to so long as you put some diamonds and gold on it to make it look nice. And you see it best in the artists they tend to love. There’s no artistry there, no substance, no emotion, no soul. It’s just mediocre shit with a pretty veneer, and they fell for it, gleefully and proudly, every time. Every fucking time.

[kamwritesonvicodin]

🩺🔥 VICODIN AND VOWS 🔥🩺

House MD fanfic // Hilson chaos // Season 2 currently airing ✨ 2 dads. 2 kids. 1 Bubbe. 0 chill. ✨

🧁 Barbie: The Unauthorized Biography, Plastic Sins of the Flesh just dropped 🍪 Bake Sale of the Damned is live and unholy 🐜 Roach Motel of Broken Dreams hits May 15 @ 2:45 AM CDT (spice warning) 🌶️ Spice Must Flow drops May 16 (you’ve been warned) 🌞 The Return of the Sunburned and Spiritually Reckless May 17 🧇 Wounds and Waffles is going to emotionally gut you May 18 🪞 Reflection (yes, the vision one) lands May 20 🕯️ Nothing But the Living + 🩹 You Forgot Our Anniversary Again, You Bastard air back-to-back May 21 🍞 Breadcrumbs drops May 22 — trauma sandwich edition 💬 Paging Dr. Gregosexual brings it all home May 24

👀 New readers welcome. Old fans traumatized. 💥 Updates daily through May. 💒 Domestic. Deranged. Definitely gay.

📖 Read Season 1 on Wattpad 🔥 Read Season 2 (ongoing) 🧠 Hilson is not dead. They’re married. And a little feral.

Wilson always said mornings in their house were a bit like triage: you figure out who's bleeding, who's lying, and who just needs juice.

This morning, it was Olivia—the six-year-old tyrant in a glitter-stained hoodie—who was bleeding, from what appeared to be a self-inflicted glue stick mishap. Sarah was sulking at the kitchen table, headphones in, and scribbling on her math workbook with the intense spite of a teen forced to show her work.

And House—of course—was stirring instant oatmeal with a tongue depressor.

Wilson stood in the kitchen doorway, two cups of coffee in hand, watching the scene unfold like he'd walked in on a hostage situation. He handed one mug to House.

"You're not even going to try to use a spoon?"

House took a sip. "Why? This is sterile. I've done autopsies with worse."

#vicodin and vows #house md #hilson #fanfiction #house x wilson #gregosexual #bubbe supremacy #fanfic updates #gay dads #season 2 is unhinged

[ratsplendor]

Hi hello i read your fic on ao3 and leaving a comment on it wasn't enough to express my feelings. the level of insight and intelligence you have is insane. your mind is brilliant and wonderful.

i love market crash and its sequel, i think it's a brilliant and hilarious angle to approach house and wilson's relationship from. when I was re-reading it for the ump-teenth time and noticed it had a sequel i nearly had a heart attack! (nice work btw)

it works so so well with cannon to the point where it probably is in another world where the writers are more bold.

i love everyone that understands house is just a massive fucking brat that needs some stability and external support in his life.

im terrible with titles but i also loved your unconventional omegaverse fic. normally im not big on a/b/o because i don't like the dynamics it creates and it always feels kinda sexist, but i love that your wilson is still insanely respectful of house and house is still allowed his agency as a character. also few things are funnier to me than a fic tagged "no mpreg" lmao

basically thank you for your service to the world <3 you're making my uni summer holidays soooo much more entertaining

yooooo true story.. I write HTML every day as part of my fcuking job. & yet for three whole months. everything I posted. none of my social media links worked. I was missing one (1) single letter h . kill me

seriously tho I appreciate this so much. all of this to say I'm a massive dumbass and was not at all expecting my silly shenanigans in this fandom to enjoy the readership that they have. I mean y'all have surpassed my recent reylo stuff in terms of engagement, not that it matters, it's just a really hard thing to do and it means so much to me and I feel like we're all just having a really nice adventure together. it's like being in a living room having tea and parallel playing with the coolest ppl :) so thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

yeah house feels to me like the kind of high maintenance person who just needs a place they can let go. I'm that way. I hate to lose control but deep down inside I'm dying for somewhere I feel safe to give it up. while I've written a ton of d/s stuff, Hilson is one of the first times I've actually explored it from that pov: the "I'm tired, be my resting place" angle. there's just something so lonely about being the firebrand, so a hearth to lay it down on is sometimes the only thing between you and demise; not that I'm especially gifted, we're not the same in that regard, I just take on so much of everyone else's problems because if there's something I *can* do, I can't *not* do it. big ups to my spouse for being that place I can go, however brattily, to lay everything down.

whew. did not mean to expose my own baggage there. just meant to say that. idk. technically atoms never touch you know? we're made up of mostly empty space. when our bodies touch, our hearts cross that divide. that's what I really love to dig into. that's what erotica is to me. lol.

"some are wild" is the omegaverse fic (only writing it here so others can find it if they want); immediately before starting to write it, I had gone on a long, pseudo-philosophical rant on Bluesky about the patriarchy inherent in trad omegaverse. ironically I was in the midst of another doomed attempt to write reylo omegaverse, and over the course of both the Bluesky thread and my eventual discarding of said draft, I realized I'm just never gonna be able to write het omegaverse because of my own patriarchal hangups. hell. I live in the deep South of the US. shits too close to home.

so but then I was like "why tf do feral omegas get the knot cure, how about fuck you" and then I went and did all that. so yet again Hilson succeeds in excising the rot where other modes have failed.

every story teaches you something about yourself, and there are stories you can't write until you've learned certain things.

big props to everyone on Bluesky who puts up with my long ass threads about shit that probably isn't (always) that deep. and thank you, so so very fondly, dear reader, for loving the same way I do and enjoying what I make. and for your (hopeful) grace that I haven't really had a chance to let my ADHD meds kick in before answering this ask. lmfao ily 🤟

[kagamicyan]

Wilson seems very depressed and doesn't want to see anyone , he shut himself on his apartment

I am some selfish moron? I know he wants to be alone yet i want to be there with him taking some of his pain away and be the one that puts a smile on his face

It's now or never I knock his door

-what do you want ? The voice came so distant , tired and more husky than usual

I hesitate and shyly ask him , if he is up to some cereal night

-No but it would be fun if we can watch old cartons and just be there in silence - mmm fine I just take a shower .

While he is taking his shower I decided to do the same nothing more refreshing than eating cereal with cold milk that is in the freezer for like half an hour to ease my soul.

And there we are in his room I ask him if he is ready to eat he nods I serve two perfect cold cereal bowls a perfect mixture of cold holy grail of sugar and carbs nothing more perfect to bring memories of better times .

Just two grown up men on their jammies eating cereal

I know we are not speaking at all we are just there

Eating together in the company of the other we have all we need right now.

I'm just taking all the stuff and I was ready to leave

- you don't need to go it's ok if you stay a little longer

He proceeded to lay on his bed and make space for me to jump in , not literally that would break the bed

I just lay there when suddenly Wilson just put his legs and all his weight on me I froze a little but don't say nothing after some time in silence I just say:

can we watch something while you are crushing me ?

-But I'm sure you love being crushed

-im autistic you know ? Of course I love it

But you corrupted my flower who will marry me now?

- don't be a dramatic house everybody leaves , remember?

But not him that's why even when he don't want to be with anyone he push himself in his life.

They just lay there in the bed in each other company house shyly hug Wilson and spoon him he feels Wilson hug him with their legs and feels warm so warm almost like crying, he has done so much for me I just want to do the same i was so ungrateful with him still in not doing any of this out pity it's hard to admit it but I know now without a doubt I want to be with him for the rest of our lives and if they are more than this one I want that to be reunited again and again in different worlds places and times always meeting each other like the first time , he may not know I'm me and wil not know it's him but still feel like we know each other and again just laugh together, kiss for the first time again maybe this time under the rain and just embrace each other

a simple word take me to reality - Thanks I had a lot fun I just simply nod and we fall sleep.

Disclaimer

This is my first attempt to write a short scene

English is not my first language and I was supposed to sleep early I have to work in like half an hour but I was just scrolling the hilson tag and thought I always say I'm gonna write so I write something

[majorbaby]

as someone who has Feelings about House (I was watching it when I became disabled so oof), do spill the House takes?

Gregory House is a relic of early 2000s, vaguely Dane-Cookian, edgelord-style comedy so it's somewhat amusing to watch tumblr blorbify him. It gives me the sense that people are unaware that he's the type to unironically say, "I'm not racist, I hate all races equally". Blorbofication seems to to really rely on projecting on a character, or identifying with them, and House is a character who should be blorbofied with care. Of course you can identify with a character that makes poor choices and behaves badly while simultaneously condemning those actions IRL, but honestly, there seems to be a lot of irony-turned-sincere in the "asshole (affectionate)" sector of various fandoms these days and the push to rehabilitate House in fanwork so that he's a better person leaves me with a lot of questionmarks.

the rest of this is beneath a cut because it got super super long, sorry about that!

Here's one thing I do like about him: sometimes his unabashed assholery allowed House to do and say more progressive things than any heroic protagonist could ever say on television at the time, because radical speech is almost always an affront to the status quo. House could be pro-choice, staunchly atheist and practically allergic to any kind of traditional romantic relationship, and this was all acceptable to audiences because House is intentionally written as an asshole.

He's still an asshole though, in plenty of ways that aren't cute or excusable. The show and the character are plenty misogynist, racist, homophobic and yeah, House is disabled himself, but he's also ableist towards his patients. I'm not pointing these things out to say "don't watch this show because it's bad" but they're also unavoidable truths about the show. It's not subtle at all either, and it extends to production. House MD is famous for its wacky plotlines and doctors committing all kinds of medical malpractice or outright felonies, with the exception of Foreman who got less material because, as House would put it, "black guy". This kind of works out for Foreman because by virtue of getting much less material beyond "only sane man" or "voice of reason" or "endlessly patient with his racist boss", he's the most normal of the cast, and it made sense for him to succeed Cuddy at the end of the series. Every woman on the show exhibits saint-like patience towards him. Cuddy, Cameron and Thirteen could've collaborated to quietly murder this guy and I'd be shocked (well. would I??? this show did some truly wacky things) but I can't say I'd feel a terrible amount of sympathy.

The issue I have with a lot of the recent fic and headcanonry around the show is this "healed by love" trope that I keep seeing pop up. House's most basic traits are that he's 1) brilliant and 2) an asshole. The show asks over and over whether or not House will ever change, and the answer is always no. If he's rehabilitated, he is no longer Gregory House. Like, write what you want but why write House if he's not going to be an asshole? Or if you are going to rehabilitate him, understand that there's 8 seasons of television that deliberately, consistently portray him as being a lost cause in terms of positive character development. I've seen the claim that he's "good disabled rep" and like, on its face I agree with that. House is in pain 24/7, his brain functions differently from other people, he struggles in social interactions, he wants to be loved in spite of knowing he is hard to love, he tries to do better but he repeatedly fails. All of these experiences have a place in fiction, but rehabilitating him revokes that place.

More specific to my own blog, I've encountered a few posts comparing beejhawk to hilson and that's on its face ridiculous. Even if we disagree that Hawkeye is a good person, MASH frames him as a good person whereasHouse is a bad person who is framed as a bad person. I'm more ambiguous towards the Wilson-BJ comparison, but at least Wilson is canonically shown to possess some of the traits that are commonly assigned to BJ within fanwork. House and Hawkeye on the other hand... like Hawkeye and Wilson have more in common with one another, Wilson being compassionate and communicative towards his friends and patients, including House when House isn't being particularly likeable (there actually might be a bit of BJ in House, lol).

imo, it's part of a trend of homogenizing ship and character dynamics, molding characters/ships/settings to certain popular tropes rather than the other way around across fandoms... to what end, I have no idea. I'm of the opinion that nothing in fanfic presents any kind of real-world "risk" in comparison to mainstream media, but it seems to me that presenting all the big gay ships as being "the same", essentially inventing new gay stereotypes is something we maaaay want to move away from. Or at least ask ourselves why we do this with gay men specifically.

okay MASH/perils-of-gay-fandom tangent over. basically, House is a mediocre show, albeit with some very good acting. it offers great fodder for fanwork because the characters are all some kind of hot mess (except for Foreman), it's got plenty of sex and drugs, and despite the fact that every medical drama to ever exist has contained all of these elements setting each other off, there's still a societal expectation that doctors and nurses have their shit together. these are people who are responsible for human life, so they can't possibly be sex-having, substance-abusing, hot messes, right?

[itstimetodrew]

You know that post about a redditor joining Tumblr and realizing that the Star Wars community on Tumblr was making gay edits of their favorite characters. I've been here for about a year now and I never really got it until I watched house and saw how much people on here loved to ship Hilson, but of course that wasn't really a shock to me because actually I watched house because of how weird people on Tumblr were about it. and if you asked me before I saw your account I would say there is no way you can ship any guys from Frasier because they're all family but nope you decided to just entirely pick a different piece of media and ship them together, and then proceeded to make probably the best edit I've seen, for characters that never talk to each other. not really an ask, I mean I could ask why but I have seen the results and know that they rock so...

ps. I put all the fucking colors in there because I hate walls of text I always lose my spot.

That’s the power of NormNiles!! 🫶💚💛

[my-lover]

2/3 through s2 character updates

Chase-genuinely was confused he was Australian and not British NOT because I’m ignorant lol but because before I ever saw House I was obsessed with Jesse Williams character in Winning London, the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie in which he plays a British man! Him almost clapping after House is finished juggling and says “what, no applause?” This poor boy has so many daddy issues

Foreman-honestly love him! I appreciate his level-headedness and his ability to relate to patients. He’s not blindly compassionate like Cameron but he cares a lot and uses what he has to to get through to people. I didn’t think he needed to try being the boss lmao but I get why he thought he did

Cameron-oh sweetheart. I feel like we’ve seen a dip in her after the beginning of s2, and it’s not her fault! Like the writers are kinda just ignoring her after the House stuff so I’m waiting for them to remember we love her again

House-what is he dooooing to poor Wilson like you’re gonna stop him from moving but then be a dick?? Is this because he’s worried they’re getting too close and needs to pull pigtails to cover his tracks? While not wanting to actually put distance between them and let him move out.

Wilson-we all love Wilson but my god if I had a friend irl that could not stop cheating on his partners I’d be so over him!! Please sir go to therapy!! Which is funny because he’s always telling House he should be bettering himself.

Do you have any favorite episodes in season 1 or 2 (before episode 17 because I’m on 16 as we speak)?

"Jesse Spencer LMAOO Jesse Williams is of course another dreamy doctor from Grey’s Anatomy House just wants to push Wilson so much to see if he’ll still love him 😭 my guy 😭 just ask for a kiss"

LOVEEE your thoughts so far omg !! it's so interesting seeing it from someone else's perspective !! i think you got it so right. the writers definitelyy forget cameron exists for an arc or two, haha, but i do really enjoy what they /eventually/ end up doing with her character. i really liked foreman for a while ! the end of season 2 flipped that on its head, though, and now i kind of just appreciate him for what he does to the plot / story structure

AND YESSS i just finished s2 on my own rewatch, and the hilson moments are CRAZY !! insane !! i adore their domestic era, but god house is possibly the worst roommate i can imagine hahah and yes !! i loveee wilson, but omg he would drive me insane. i think it's hilarious how big of a hypocrite he is and i love him for it

i think my favourite eps are definitely house & wilson's prank war in s2, and i just adore three stories from s1 !! what about you ??

and also i cracked UP at jesse williams hahaha omg i also love him in grey's <33

[helaenasupremacy]

The Way I Are

Summary: Helaena Targaryen has to attend a dinner alone with Jason Lannister and Johanna Westerling. She is bored to death by his talks and has too many cups of wine to manage the situation.

Word count: 1565

Genres: Fluff and comedy

Song inspo: The Way I Are by Timbaland, Keri Hilson, D.O.E., Sebastian

Author's note: Hello! Oh em gee I'm actually posting a fanfiction. I wrote this earlier in May. I'm totally open to requests for House of The Dragon characters so if you wanna see anything specific, please let me know. Other then that, enjoy!

Helaena Targaryen had no taste for wine. She found the liquid bitter on her tongue, preferring something far sweeter such as apple juice. It was immature of her yet she found it comforting. It was something that hadn’t changed since her childhood. She shared her father’s trait of having a sweet tooth. Viserys would always ask for dessert before the rest of the royal table was done eating (something Helaena took great advantage of when she could). Her husband, Aegon, had quite the taste for alcohol. She found she had nursed him through more hangovers than either of them cared to admit. She had never been drunk, she couldn’t see why he would reach for another jug after throwing up the contents of his first. It couldn’t be worth the pounding headaches she had to guide him through nor the way it heightened his anxiety. 

Yet on one particular night, she found herself gripping her goblet filled with the grape. She was at a dinner, in the presence of Lord Jason Lannister and his lady wife Johanna Westerling. Aegon was spending some much needed time with the twins. Jaehaerys and Jaehaera were three. They constantly asked for him after learning how to speak. It was endearing enough for her husband to set his cups aside for a day to bond with them. Her mother was tending to her father, his sickness had spread throughout his body and the King spent most of his days in unbearable pain. Aemond had no care for the Lannisters and had the ability to merely decline an invitation to the dinner (a luxury Helaena wished she could have). This left the young woman alone, a polite yet strained smile on her face as she listened to another round of Jason’s ramblings about Casterly Rock’s winery. 

The girl kept sipping from her cup as the Lord went on and on about things she had no care for. She was not interested in the reputation nor the profitability of his business endeavours. The Red Keep had no ties to the Lannisters besides their eagerness to see Aegon take the throne over Rhaenyra once their father’s sickness took him. One goblet of wine became two, became three, became four until she had had several full chalices of the drink. It was safe to say she felt the effects kicking in. She had been eating alongside her beverage but after a certain point, the food didn’t soak up nearly enough for her to not be drunk. She was slouched in her seat, her violet eyes barely peeking over the edge of the table. She rolled them and dramatically tilted her head back to the ceiling as she heard another rant begin leaving the lion’s lips, this time about his condolences surrounding the King’s illness and how he looked forward to Aegon’s coronation (the one even the young prince didn’t wish to happen).

“You do not seem to understand, my Lord, but it is my half-sister, Rhaenyra, who shall be ascending the throne instead of my husband.. an arrangement we both think is best,” the girl said once she had enough of the blonde’s rambles.

Jason gave a curt smile. “Why, of course, my Lady.”

“Princess,” Helaena was quick to correct, pushing herself up in her seat so that her posture was back to its usual placement. She settled her elbow on the table, her cheek pressed against her fist. Her gaze bore into his, awaiting the apology she was owed after such a mistake. It never came. The man merely continued to eat his pie, making quiet jests to his wife. “Well then,” she said, getting to her feet and briefly stumbling as she figured out her centre of gravity since the room around her seemed to distort into unusual shapes thanks to the amount of liquor in her system, “thank you for your company this evening, Ser Lannister, Lady Johanna,” she gave a brief nod to them both, “but I ought to take my leave. Please enjoy dessert on my behalf.” She turned to leave, her silver hair moving against her back.

“It is Lord Lannister, your highness,” Jason spoke up, a bewildered look on his face.

Helaena didn’t grace him with a response, taking brisk steps out of the hall they were dining in. 

The Princess began walking through the empty corridors back to her own chambers. During her journey, she decided that her pumps against the rocky stone floor were doing her balance no favours. She lazily kicked her shoes off, reaching down to pick them up. With one heel in each hand, she continued to make her way back to her room. Everything felt strangely fuzzy, her senses dulled. It was a new experience for her. She had never drank enough to be tipsy before nevermind inebriated (she let her husband drink enough wine for the both of them). She giggled at the thought. Her? Drunk? If Aemond were here, she knew he would be struggling to believe his eyes.. eye.. she giggled again which caused a few of the maids to cast worried glances toward her. She awkwardly coughed, straightening her posture out as she approached her and Aegon’s room. She didn’t know what her husband’s reaction would be to her solution for handling Lord Lannister’s rambles. She doubted he would’ve reacted differently other than drinking more than she had. She pushed open one of the two wooden doors that lead into their room, blinking at the sight.

Aegon was sat on their bed, cross-legged, working little braids out of his short and shaggy hair. His eyes shifted from where his hands were tugging out the plaits, seeing his wife. “I thought the dinner was meant to go on until midnight? Surely it isn’t that late?” He asked.

Helaena merely blinked at him again, her head tilting. “Are those.. your fringe has been braided?” She asked.

“Very astute of you,” Aegon grumbled back, working out the last two twists, “the twins wished to make one of us a princess.. I suggested maybe that is something Jaehaera would enjoy, the two shook their head in unison and I was made Princess Dada of Westeros.”

“If it makes you feel any better, you are an awfully pretty princess,” Helaena said, unable to stop the grin pulling at the corners of her lips. 

“It does make me feel better, thank you so much,” her husband replied, his hands falling to his lap. His hair was left curlier then it usually was due to their children’s work. He looked at her for a moment, “Helaena Elanor Targaryen.. you are drunk.”

The girl felt herself straighten up again at his assumption, her hands twisting in the fabric of her skirt. “Very astute of you,” she mumbled back lamely. 

Her husband’s face turned into a devilish grin. Aegon got to his feet, walking over to her. He set his hands on her shoulders, keeping her steady as she seemed to be swaying on the spot. “Ñuha jorrāelagon, nyke would daor pirtir naejot ao.  Lannisters issi qopsa naejot rȳbagon naejot syt tolī bōsa mijegon mirri averilla,” [My dear, I would not lie to you. Lannisters are hard to listen to for too long without some wine] he said smoothly, his thumbs brushing over the fabric of her dress.

Helaena grunted in agreement, her body tilting forward so that his hands held more of her weight. Everything felt heavier, even her hair. 

“Ivestragī īlva jiōragon ao naejot ēdrugon, Helaena,” [Let us get you to sleep, Helaena] Aegon spoke again, keeping his voice nice and soft to reduce the chances of her getting a headache. One was likely to happen but he’d be damned if he was the cause of it. 

“Uh huh,” Helaena mumbled in agreement, beginning to move further into the room. Aegon moved to her side with one arm wrapped around her waist, the one now furthest from her body still settled on her shoulder to keep her steady. 

Aegon guided her towards the bed, carefully setting her down on top of the blankets. He took her heels, putting them at the bottom of the bed. “Do you need some water? A snack?” He asked, kneeling down in front of her. He took her hands within his own, his thumbs brushing across her knuckles. 

“Hm.. you’re cute,” she mumbled back lazily, “but you talk a lot.”

“I’m glad you think so. I do talk a lot, don’t I? Enough talking then, to bed with you,” Aegon said, getting to his feet. He gently lifted her legs by her ankles, essentially spinning her to be sat horizontally on the bed.

“Hey! I am perfectly capable of putting myself to bed, ao orvorta,” [You dick] she grumbled, lying back with her head comfortably landing on the pillows. Her husband merely chuckled, leaning down to press a loving kiss to her forehead.

“I am sure you are, ñuha jorrāelagon,” [My dear] he murmured, “I will see you in the morning where, I assure you, you will be begging me for that cup of water I offered. I love you.” He pulled the duvet up to her shoulders, tucking her in.

“I love you, too.. even if you talk a lot,” Helaena replied, her eyes already feeling heavy but she saw the adoring smile on her husband’s face just before her eyes closed to get some much needed rest.

[atlafan]

Juvenile and Family Law, is it something that a kid dreams of practicing? No, not really. Is that where the big bucks are if you’re not interested in taxes and wills? Yes, it is. College is expensive, and so is law school; gotta pay it off somehow. It takes a while to build your clientele, a lot of it is word of mouth. You work your way up, and slowly but surely, build a good reputation for yourself. And if you’re lucky, you’ll make partner.

Harry Styles is good at his job, and is on the brink of making partner at his firm. Gallagher, Hilson & Associates Family Law is a great place to work. Isaiah Gallagher and Maria Hilson are two incredible lawyers, and the other associates Harry works with aren’t too bad either. He doesn’t always love working nearly sixty hours a week, and some of the cases he handles have caused him to see the bottom of one too many bottles, but other than that, he’s happy.

Family Law means working all kinds of cases. Custody, spousal support, paternity, and divorce. All of those cases are messy, rarely are they clean cut. Harry happens to specialize in divorce, which in turn can lead to all of the other things listed above. What’s worse is that a lot of his clients will often flirt with him, so he’s started to wear a fake wedding band to ward off any and all inappropriate behavior. It doesn’t happen every time, but it was often enough that he decided to find a way to just avoid the unwanted attention.

Due to how many hours he works a week, Harry’s social life is a little lackluster. By the time he gets home work, all he wants to do is kick his shoes off, plop down on the couch with some greasy Chinese food, and catch up on some television. He lives in a nice enough building in the city. His apartment has one bedroom, and one and half baths. On Friday nights, he’ll go out with some of the other associates for a drink, so he gets a bitof social time in. He’s not lonely, he actually quite enjoys the quiet and solitude. He’s got a cat, Gerry, short for Geraldine that he takes care of. He has what he needs, and he’s perfectly content.

Whenever he dates, people always want to talk about his work. The last thing Harry wants to talk about after a long day at work, is more work. So, he sticks to meaningless hookups, and his own hand, when he needs that type of release.

He doesn’t have too much to complain about. He’s thirty, and massively successful. Some of his friends still live at home while working retail jobs, not that he’s judging. He was twenty-six when he moved out, and he’s grateful his parents let him stay rent free so he could save up for his own place. He doesn’t like to compare himself to others, but it makes him feel good to know he’s all set. He works hard, yes, but it’s all worth it.

//

With how quiet his personal life is, it’s hard to imagine Harry being a shark in the courtroom, but he is. He’s a master in the art of persuasion and rhetoric. Having been a communication major in his undergrad career, and all. He knows how to read a room, and how to read people. The jury is just an audience waiting to watch a live performance. His theater minor also comes in handy here. Being a lawyer is an act, a role he plays. He knows how to play the part when it’s in a large courtroom, or when it’s just a small meeting in a conference room to divide up assets. It’s not always easy, but he makes it look that way. Harry typically wins most of his cases, and when it’s something small, he’s usually able to get his client the majority of what they asked for. Every customer leaves happy.

These skills can’t all be taught and learned. Some people are born with natural talent, skills they learn to hone in on and perfect. It’s a craft that Harry has worked on for years. Again, he’s only thirty, but because he has such precision and talent, it makes him the hot commodity. The office is constantly getting calls for him. It’s why they want him to become the next partner. Having his name on the plaque as you enter would surely put people at ease. Isaiah and Maria saw potential in Harry from the beginning, and they feel lucky that he’s one of their associates.

There other very qualified associates as well, like Niall – who specializes in custody cases – he’s well on his way up. There’s Candice – who specializes in prenuptial agreements – she got into the lawyer game a little later in life, but she’s as sharp as a whip, and shouldn’t be underestimated. And lastly, there’s Byron – who specializes in paternity cases – he thinks he’s going to be the next partner because he’s a bit full of himself.

Harry and Niall are the closest in age, so they hang out more often. They both really like baseball, and will go to a game or two during the season. Candice is the surrogate mother figure. She has no children of her own, she’s the fun aunt to her nieces and nephews, but she feels oddly maternal towards Harry and Niall. The boys often call her “Ma”, instead of her actual name, and she loves it. She looks out for them, and there when they need someone to listen. She’s fifty-seven, and enjoys baking in her free time. She often brings the boys homemade muffins on Monday mornings, and they adore her for it.

Byron…well…Byron is a forty-year-old womanizer who totally clashes with Harry. Does Harry have one-night stands? Yes. Does he ever lie to his partners? No. Byron enjoys playing the game in all facets, and Harry never takes part in it. Needless to say, Harry hates when he has to partner with him on a case, and avoids it when he can.

Isaiah and Maria each have their own executive assistant, or para: Michele and Kyla. They’re both in their late twenties, and rocking it. Harry only interacts with them over email. He, Candice, Niall, and Byron all share the same administrator: Ronnie. Ronnie is twenty-six, friendly, and organized. She doesn’t have time to help everyone on their briefs, but that’s what interns are for, and there’s an abundance of them circling throughout the office.

Harry has a nice office. Plenty of natural light from the windows, he has a desk riser so he can stand up periodically, and he even has his own mini fridge. (He’s often paranoid about people taking his Bubbly, so he just brought in his own fridge.) He’s got a decent enough view of the city; he likes it best at night when the twinkling lights come through. It reminds him of how lucky he is to be where he is in life. He knows he’s more fortunate than others, so he tries to be grateful. He gives back when he’s able, donate to different scholarship funds and whatnot.

Harry is a good man.

//

On a particularly cloudy morning, Ronnie lets Harry know his 10AM consult has arrived. He didn’t know much about his new potential client, but he was always willing to hear someone out. He stands up from his desk, and waits for the woman to enter.

In walks a young woman wearing an expensive, red pantsuit, black heels, and a dark red lipstick. She gives a soft smile to Ronnie before she closes the door. Harry walks over to her, extending his hand.

“Hi, I’m Harry.”

“Mira.” She shakes his hand.

“Please, have a seat.” He gestures to the two seats on the other side of his desk and they both sit. “What brings you to my office today?”

“I heard you’re a pretty good divorce lawyer, and I need a divorce.”

“Is your spouse aware that you’re seeking counsel?”

“No.” She shakes her head and swallows. “I…I’d be putting myself in danger if he knew I wanted to leave him.”

“What kind of danger? If he’s physically abusive, then you need to- “

“He doesn’t put his hands on me like that. It’s…I don’t love him, and I never have. I was essentially…I was sold to him; it was an arranged marriage. I thought maybe I could learn to like him, to love him, but it’s been three years, and I can’t stand him. I need legal help.”

“What do you mean you were sold to him? Were you a child bride? Were you sex trafficked?”

“No.” She chews on her bottom lip. “He made a deal with my father. Thomas got me in exchange for…something. I can’t get into what exactly with you just yet.”

“Does he think you’re happy?”

“Yes.” She nods. “Well, for the most part. I do my thing, and he does his. His job keeps him pretty busy, and I often pretend to be asleep when he gets home. He doesn’t satisfy my needs, so to speak, and I’ve given up on trying. I want to be freed from him.” She pulls out a packet of paper from her purse, and gives it to Harry. “That’s a copy of the contract he and my father signed when they made the deal. I’m not great with legal jargon. I thought maybe if you decide to take me on you could look that over and tell me if there’s any way, I can get out of this.”

“Are you over eighteen?”

“Yes, well over.”

“And were you over eighteen when you were married?”

“Yes.”

“Then how could your father barter you?”

“Where I come from…it can just be like that. The goods we get in exchange for my hand outweighed my happiness.”

“I’m so sorry.” Harry frowns. “My services aren’t exactly cheap.”

“I wouldn’t expect them to be. I can pay top dollar, if that’s what you require. I have money of my own.”

“Alright.” Harry sets the packet of papers onto his desk. “I’ll take a look at that soon, and give you a call.”

“Does that mean you’re taking me on?”

“I hate to see such a nice person be so unhappy.” Harry frowns. “I got into this business to help people, so I’ll help you, Mira.”

“Oh, thank you so much.” She smiles. “There are going to be some things in that contract that may shock you, so please don’t hesitate to call me directly with your questions.” She takes out a business card from her purse. “There’s all of my contact information. If anyone other than myself contacts you regarding all of this, don’t say a word.”

“Don’t worry, I’m good at keeping things confidential.”

“I heard you’re a very trustworthy attorney.” She nods, and stands to her feet. Harry does the same. “Thank you for taking the time to listen.” She extends her hand, and he takes it to shake.

“Of course, it’s what I’m here for.” He smiles and opens the door. He watches her leave, maybe for a little too long.

[DARK SIDED, COMING TO PATREON ON SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2ND @ 8AM EST] [Ask]

[lokismusings]

Russell T Davies on straight actors and gay characters.

I decided to put this here because I post a lot of Hilson stuff. As an actor, this article hit a nerve. However, as a defender of free speech, Davies is allowed to have his opinion without me thinking of him as insensitive. Just like I am allowed to have my own opinion and argument, and ask questions without being labeled “homophobic, intolerant” etc. (that would just make me laugh because have you SEEN my blog? Anyway, I’ve seen a few other websites covering this article. I am also very skeptical of everything I read, including the sources, and I try not to blindly believe everything. That being said, I felt like posting this to get other opinions and ask honest question to help my understanding. If this has already been covered on Tumblr, please feel free to send me the conversations! Some background on me: I graduated with a BA in Theatre and have worked both on and off the stage since I was twelve years old. I have directed plays and an audio play. Given my experience and dedication to my craft, I think my opinion is worth something.

Also, for the sake of this argument, I am leaving trans-actors out because that’s a whole different post. Here is the article:

https://news.sky.com/story/russell-t-davies-straight-actors-should-not-play-gay-characters-12185652

Okay, so first things first, let’s talk about this: “Speaking to the Radio Times, Davies compared a straight actor playing a gay character to black face.” Something that irks me is when one person tries to speak for a whole community and doesn’t reference people from said community who might disagree: whether it’s the LGBTQ+ community, a religious community, medical community, etc. The list goes on. Here, Davies is speaking on behalf of, or speaking for, both the LGBTQ+ community and the black community, is he not? I am genuinely asking because I would like to be more educated on this kind of speech. 

Then Davies says, "I'm not being woke about this... but I feel strongly that if I cast someone in a story, I am casting them to act as a lover, or an enemy, or someone on drugs or a criminal or a saint... they are NOT there to 'act gay' because 'acting gay' is a bunch of codes for a performance.” Does that not discredit his whole statement? If any actor does a caricature version of anything and doesn’t take it seriously or really works to get into the role and the mindset of a character, they’re not a good actor. At least, they’re not an actor that I’d want to hire. Second, by the logic that a straight person shouldn’t play a gay character, should someone without a criminal record not be able to play a criminal character? Before you go off and say “it’s about identity and sexuality, and playing a criminal is about the choice to break the law” or other arguments, I hear you. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the experience. How can an actor who has never committed a crime play a criminal character authentically? They do their research: reading, interviewing, etc. I’m not saying that an actor with a few minor marks on his record shouldn’t be considered for the same role. I’m saying that in an audition setting, if both of these actors were auditing for the role and the non-criminal-record actor just happened to do a better job and fit what the director and/or writer wanted, is that a mark against the criminal-record-actor? Maybe personally because we don’t know what the director is thinking. But chances are, it’s not a mark against the other actor. The other one just happened to have a better audition. Or, a major factor when considering casting, said actor was easy to work with--I’ve seen a lot of talented actors lose a lot of roles because of their inability to take criticism or notes. 

Plus, the whole “Breaking Bad” series?? I highly doubt the main actors were meth-making drug-lords. Or, a better example, “The Wire?” In that show, we see the constant battle and deals between drug-lords and cops. 

Another point I’d like to make:  “...is a bunch of codes for a performance.” That’s exactly right. The audience doesn’t want to know an actor is “performing.” We know that going in, with what is called “suspension of disbelief.” We know the whole show is a performance, but we also expect the actors to be truthful (unless it’s a comedy/farce, but again, that’s a different argument). 

Was it bad that, before 2020, some main characters in TV shows were portrayed as straight but the writers ended up “queer-baiting?” I am referring, of course, to House, M.D. (If you follow this blog, you’ll understand.) But I am also referring to the BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Yes, both pairs of characters (House and Wilson; Holmes and Watson) are assumed to be straight. However, some episodes allude that there could also be something more there. Even the actors have said in various interviews that they aren’t sure if it’s a true romance that the characters are afraid to face, or just a strong bond between best friends that blurs the line between platonic and romantic. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the picture. Therefore, should these characters have only been played by straight actors who are questioning their sexuality or feelings for a best friend? Would it have been disrespectful to gay people if these characters ended up becoming romantically involved? (If we ask the Hilson and Johnlock community, I’m guessing that’s a resounding “NO WAY! IT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE!” xD <3) 

“It's about authenticity, the taste of 2020.” *Cinema Sins sigh*

"You wouldn't cast someone able-bodied and put them in a wheelchair...” Again I say, directors and casting directors need to ALWAYS search for someone who is in a wheelchair, or deaf, or HOH, etc. before looking for an able-bodied actor to play a character with that disability (I’m iffy on the whole term “disability because of its negative connotations, but I’m using that word in order to keep this post as long as possible). But I give you the example of Rainman with Dustin Hoffman. Or A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe. Or the play and movie Proof, where the father had a mental illness?  Anthony Hopkins was diagnosed late in life with Asperger’s Syndrome, but the father in Proof was written to allude more to schizophrenia. And yet, Anthony Hopkins did a tremendous job in that role. Or Even Forrest Gump with Tom Hanks. Many people today love Tom Hanks and laud him as a “woke” celebrity. But if he were to portray the role of Forrest Gump today, how many people would try to “cancel” him or at least have very strong words for the director not casting an actor with autism, due to the character’s autistic tendencies? A whole lot of people on the internet and Twitter, I’ll bet. As someone who struggles with anxiety and panic disorder, would I be upset if someone without that mental illness got cast in a role of a character struggling with that? Sure I would. But if they did an authentic job and approached the role respectfully, it would be hard to stay irritated. Besides, there are always more roles created practically everyday. 

To continue on with Davies’ quote: “...you wouldn't black someone up.” Yikes. I’m sure he didn’t mean this in a cast-off kind of way, but that’s how it comes across. I can see now why he said he wasn’t “being woke about this,” because a more “woke” way of putting that would be...what, exactly? “You wouldn’t cast a non-black person in a black role.” That sounds better and less harsh. Or even “a white person in a minority role.” Which should be common sense, and I agree with both statements. 

And then “Authenticity is leading us to joyous places." Oh! Look at that! There’s that word that I’ve been using and emphasizing throughout this whole post! Authenticity is one major brick in the foundation of good, credible acting. 

“High-profile examples of straight performers playing LGBTQ+ characters include Rami Malek's Oscar-winning portrayal of Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody, and Taron Egerton's Golden Globe-winning turn as Sir Elton John in Rocketman.”

I haven’t seen Rocketman, but I saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it was great! Why am I high-lighting this movie? Because it’s the perfect example of a straight actor playing a gay character and playing it authentically, while also looking a lot like the real person they’re portraying. If a look-a-like had been cast who also happened to be gay, but couldn’t act to save their life or couldn’t bring as much as Rami brought to the role, wouldn’t that kind of put a damper on the film? And yet, Rami Maleck both looked the part and brought an authenticity to the role that many Queen fans loved and appreciated. Even the remaining Queen band members said that he did an incredible job and Freddy would be proud. I wonder if Freddy would care that Rami wasn’t gay? I doubt it, but no one can know for certain. 

Then there’s the whole term “gay face.” I personally don’t think this is the right term to use because it could possibly diminish the whole meaning and importance of “black face.” Even if Corden appeared to be mocking gay people (I never watched The Prom so I have no idea what his performance was like), calling it “gay face” takes away from and inadvertently belittles the whole dark history of “black face.” Black face’s whole history comes out of an even darker history of racist times filled with hatred and ignorance. I’m not saying that gay people haven’t had their own experiences with hate and intolerance, but isn’t kind of “un-woke” and “insensitive” to compare the hundreds of years of blatant, public racism against an entire race of people to the intolerance of homosexuals? (Again, I’m asking this genuinely because I want to learn and get other people’s opinions. I’m not trying to speak for any community, and I recognize that my personal opinion on this matter is just that: my opinion. And I could be better informed.)

Along the lines of the above paragraph, is it wrong to say or think that casting a non-minority actor in a minority role is a lot different from casting a straight actor in a gay role? Sexuality comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors; that is to say, every race has people with different sexualities. But I think it would be pretty cringe if a Caucasian actress was cast in a role meant for an Asian or African-American woman. 

Director Joe Mantello told Sky News the casting was not intentional, but rather a "very fortunate series of events".

He continued: "That being said, I think having an out gay cast really did inform the work and it took on a particular kind of tone because of that, which is not to say that's the only way to approach this material. But for this particular group, it did something that I think is very, very special. There's a chemistry that they have."

And this man summed up my entire argument! He also put into simpler terms what I have been trying to express about the beauty of theatre: there will always be special casts, especially when there’s a great chemistry from a shared experience. A "very fortunate series of events,” indeed. “The casting was not intentional...” leads me to believe that the director didn’t set out to have an all out-gay-cast, but rather, each actor brought great performances to their auditions and were considered by the director to be perfect for the roles. These actors also just happened to be gay.

If you’re still here after all of that, let me take a moment to sincerely thank you for reading the whole thing! I know it’s a lot, but I’m very passionate about acting and giving each and every actor a fair chance. Let me know what you think, and please be respectful!

[coffeeandtletters]

I published the hilson fic!!

Double or nothing.

House kisses Wilson's check as part of an 'act', it feels too natural to him, so, of course, he has to turn it all into a game, Wilson catches up pretty quickly. The ducklings try to not get scarred for life.

               “When did you sneak in?” House asked, going back to coma-guy room just to find Wilson there.

               “Being able to use the stairs is quite useful, you should try it. Where is your food?”

               “Why did you order the salad if you don’t like it? And what are you doing here?”

               “I’m watching my figure. And trying to hide from you.”

               “Oh, honey, but I like you like this, don’t worry.” He said, examining the salad plate, looking for something yummy to eat out of it, he found an olive and picked it up and ate it, it was boneless. “Don’t look at me like that, I washed my hands before coming here.”

               “Why don’t you, I don’t know, buy your own food and then come back?”

               “So you want me to come back?”

               “House, you’re being specially annoying today, why?”

               “I don’t have a case yet, and my ducklings are starting to swim alone, I’m a sad mother duck” House said, taking a second chair and moving it so he could sit next to Wilson.

               “I-” Wilson started, House found another olive and ate it too, now sitting next to Wilson and facing the T.V. “You know what? Never mind. Here, I’ll pay for your food, just go get it.”

               “You’re sending little crippled me to get the food all the way to the canteen and back?”

               “You want me to, not only pay for your food, but go get it and bring it back? You only have to take the elevator.”

               House was about to answer to that and make Wilson go get his food when Foreman entered the room, almost running, lab coat floating around him like a cape, anyone that couldn’t see Foreman was the sexier of his kids was just- anyway.

               “House! We need you.”

               “Always, I know. Why this time though? It’s launch break.”

               “A neurology case. And your launch break was two hours ago.”

               “Boring” he said immediately, knowing that that wasn’t all that was to the case Foreman was presenting, and he was about to explain exactly why.

               “She has almost all the symptoms to Bell’s palsy.”

               “’Almost all the symptoms’, how’s that entertaining? You see what I have to put up with, Wilson?” he added turning towards him, Wilson just arched his eyebrows, still trying to eat his salad, especially the olives.

               “Except” Foreman interrupted his boss, rolling his eyes “She doesn’t have Bell’s palsy. She also has ataxia and her liver is starting to fail. Doesn’t seem to have any brain damage nor allergies, doesn’t drink.”

               “Did you ask her all that?”

               “Yes.”

                “How many times do I have to tell you ‘Everyone lies’” he looked at Wilson and rolled his eyes, remarking his thinking. Wilson just looked at Foreman as if he was asking for forgiveness in House’s place. Foreman already knew the act, so he looked back at his boss. “Well, honey, I’m leaving, don’t wait up for me” he said, and stood up, took his cane and kissed Wilson’s check who remained silent, gapping.

               House smiled at that, he loved having the last word and that wasn’t something he always got away with, with Wilson.

               “Did you just kiss Wilson?” Foreman said, walking as fast as he could to the room their patient was on, knowing he was risking House realizing something and going back to the other room.

               “It was bound to happen” House answered.

               “Don’t get me wrong, last thing I want is for me to look like I care, but, why?” he said calling for the elevator that was there in less time that Foreman used to finish talking.

               “So cold, Foreman, that’s why I like Cameron better. Anyway, is it lupus or no?”

               Foreman rolled his eyes and walked into the elevator.

               House realized then, as the doors closed before his eyes, just being stooped by Foreman, that he had, in fact, kissed Wilson’s check. For a moment he felt paralyzed but Foreman urging him to get into the elevator took him back to reality. Wilson, surely, would have taken it as part of the joke, but it had felt… natural. Awfully natural.

                                             You can read it all in ao3!!

[ofzully]

❛ ✶ ( RACHEL HILSON , CISFEMALE , SHE/HER )  —  did you see ZAHRAH BELLO  walking around campus earlier ? i hear a lot of people talking about the TWENTY ONE year old SENIOR. from what i know , they are studying POLITICAL SOCIOLOGY and are a part of OMEGA ALPHA PI . they come across as + MAGNETIC but also - UNCONTROLLABLE , which makes sense because on their instagram ( @IHEARTZULLY ) it says they are a SCORPIO . when i see them , i think of BOX RED WINE SIPPED ON CRYSTAL GLASSES , LAUGHTER IN THE FACE OF DETERMINATION , HONEY-DEW GAZES AND GLOSS LIP STAINS  . the most interesting thing i’ve heard about them though , is the fact that REDACTED , but don’t tell anyone i told you that . ooc info . layla . 23 . est . she/her .

hi  everyone  ,  i’m  layla  &.  i  think  i’ve  rped  w/  a  couple  of  you  before  but  here  is  my  baby  zully  ! down  below  are  some  quick  tidbits  about  her  !  if  you’d  like  to  plot  w/  her  give  this  a  like  !  i  have  a  few  connections  in  mind  ,  but  if  that  doesn’t  strike  ya’  fancy  ,  we  can  brainstorm  !  

honey  dipped  in  vanilla  ,  she  is  one  of  the  warmest  girl  you’ve  ever  met  .  she  has  kind  eyes  , and  she’s  approachable  in  the  quarter  with  a  smile  and  ringlet  curls  reflecting  the  sun  like  gold  .  many  mistake  kindness  for  weakness  ,  until  you’ve  had  a  conversation  with  her  .  she’s  always  been  extremely  outspoken  about  what  she  believes  in  ,  drunk  ramblings  on  political  views  at  frat  parties  ,  and  long  rants  against  your  professor  --  and  why  his  opinion  is  appreciated  ,  but  nevertheless,  still  wrong --   in  a  shared  class  .  

she  doesn’t  purposely  go  out  of  her  way  to  hurt  people  ,  but  the  sting  of  a  intellectual  comeback  might  sit  on  a  silver  tongue  that’s  mumbled  under  her  breath  .  it’s  the  passion  that  gets  her  in  trouble  ,  and  the  way  it  comes  in  wild  cards  with  people---  subjects ---  and  her  own  morals  set  on  a  ridiculously  high  standard  for  herself  .  

you  pronounce  her  name  like  zara  ,  but  at  the  start  of  college  ,  she’d  gotten  the  nickname  zully  and  it  kind  of  just  stuck  .  it  was  easier  to  pronounce  ,  more  efficient  for  her  professors  to  remember  ,  and  it  became  a  staple  .  the  nickname  was  probably  given  the  start  of  freshman  year  ,  by  someone  on  campus  ---  likely  an  ex  boyfriend  /  girlfriend  ,  or  an  ex  best  friend  .  so  if  you’re  interested  ,  in  that  just  lmk  !

zahrah  is  actually  a  twin  ,  and  her  fraternal  sister’s  name  is  nimah  .  they  hav  always  been  extremely  close  ,  and  look  a  lot  alike  ,  despite  not  being  identical---  you  could  confuse  them  to  be  ,  if  you  didn’t  know  better  .  their  parents  moved  to  cambridge  from  nigeria  when  they  first  got  married  thirty  years  prior  ,  and  her  mother  is  a  doctor  on  a  medical  floor  at  the  hospital  .  their  father  passed  away  when  the  girls  were  sixteen  from  a  cardiac  issue  ,  and  was  a  retired  medical  professional  as  well  .  

when  their  father  passed  away  ,  he  put  money  away  for  the  girls  to  start  their  lives  and  go  to  college  .  however  ,  nimah  had  always  been  more  of  a  reckless  spirit  ,  despite  zahrah’s  freedom  .  nimah  moved  to  new  york  city  the  second  she  turned  eighteen  with  the  money  their  father  left   her  .  this  of  course  ,   causing  a  rift  between  the  twins  and  their  mother---  while  zahrah  went  straight  to  university  and  her  half  of  the  money  dried  up  into  tuition  fees  .  nonetheless  ,  zahrah  has  always  been  in  the  middle  of  a  the  feud  between  her  sister  ,  and  their  mother  .  

zahrah  is  often  misunderstood  ,  and  this  comes  with  the  complexity  of  who  she  is  .  it  wasn’t  a  mistake  that  the  men  around  campus  began  to  notice  her  the  moment  she’d  offered  a  kind  and  inviting  smile  .  though  ,  while  getting  to  know  her  ,  whether  it  be  because  she  was  uninterested  in  them  ,  or  a  personal  hit  to  their  ego---  they  started  using  phrases  to  put  her  in  a  box  .  high  maintenance  ,  uncontrollable  ,  she  wouldn’t  be  the  girl  they’d  take  home  to  their  father’s  in  the  hamptons  because  her  views  and  outspokenness  could  be  a  challenge---  despite  her  kindness  .  she  wasn’t  a  pretty  porecelain  doll  ,  and  she  certainly  wouldn’t  stand  by  your  side  as  a  trophy  wife  ---  to  smile  and  nod  .  

*            PHYSICAL  .  

when  i  say  this  girl  is  tiny  ,  i  mean  it  .  she’s  5ft  even  ----  barely  .  she’s  incredibly  small  built  ,  dainty  shoulders  and  dainty  wrists  .  very  rarely  does  she  wear  heels  ,  so  it’s  noticed---  it’s  probably  the  first  thing  you  notice  about  her  ,  other  than  her  smile  .  her  hair  falls  just  past  her  collar  bones  when  left  natural  , with  dark  ringlet  curls  . vivid  gazes  resemble  stained  glass  ,  the  color  of  honey  dipped  in  sunlight  ,  with  long  dark  lashes  to  match  .  she  has  a  single  tattoo  on  the  corner  of  her  left  wrist  that  reads  :  ignited  ---  in  fine  line  cursive  .  she  wrinkles  her  nose  when  she  laughs  ,  and  she  wrinkles  her  nose  when  she’s  mad  --  her  cheeks  tint  a  deep  red  ,  while  drifting  across  the  bridge  of  her  nose  and  to  the  tips  of  her  ears  .  she  never  stutters  ,  but  starts  talking  extremely  fast  when  she’s  agitated  or  excited  .  

*            HOBBIES  .  

zully  loves  to  read  ,  mostly  fiction  romances  ----  when  she’s  not  being  forced  to  study  .  it’s  a  guilty  pleasure  .  you  can  catch  her  in  between  classes  in  the  courtyard  ,  either  at  a  table  or  on  the  edge  of  a  fountain  .  

she  writers  along  with  it  ,  journal  entries  ,  and  they’re  personal  .  she  keeps  a  leather  notebook  by  her  bed  ,  and  for  the  most  part  just  writes  about  her  day  before  she  sleeps  .  

she  sews  a  lot  ,  mostly  because  growing  up  --  she  could  never  find  jeans  that  fit  right  .  they  were  always  too  long  ,  too  big  ,  so  she  had  to  learn  how  to  inseam  before  she  even  made  it  to  high  school  .  

braiding  hair  ,  where  she  got  good  at  it  mostly  because  of  her  sister--  who  often  liked  to  wear  her  hair  in  protective  styles  rather  than  their  natural  curls  .  it  helped  either  way  ,  giving  the  twins  the  ability  to  be  told  apart  . 

*            CONNECTIONS  . 

ex  best  friend  :  likely  they  pushed  for  zully  to  join  a  sorority  ,  but  they  ended  up  in  different  ones  ,  and  drifted  because  of  it  .  they  don’t  really  get  along  anymore  ,  and  the  differences  in  sororities  probably  has  caused  the  rift  .  they  both  miss  each  other  ,  but  will  never  admit  it   .  (  maybe  the  person  who  gave  her  the  nickname  )  

ex  something  :  whether  it  be  they  were  dating  ,   or  on  the  verge  of  dating  ,  your  muse  screwed  it  up  .  they  got  into  a  fight  and  both  ended  up  drinking  ,  except  yours  woke  up  in  someone  else’s  bed  .  either  way  ,  she  hasn’t  spoken  to  your  muse  since  .  (  maybe  the  person  who  gave  her  the  nickname  )  

best  friend  that  never  got  the  chance  :  male  or  female  ,  they  ran  into  each  other  freshman  year  .  literally  .  they  both  ended  up  in  the  nurse’s  room  with  a  concussion  ,  and  they’ve  been  inseparable  ever  since  .  there  could  have  been  the  chance  where  they  were  almost  something  more  ,  but  it  fizzles  .  there  could  also  still  be  unresolved  feelings  on  one  end  ,  but  unspoken  .  

is  this  chemistry  ,  or  are  we  enemies  ?  :  basically  ,  this  muse  shares  one  or  two  classes  with  zully  and  that’s  how  they  met  .  it  started  with  them  loving  to  get  under  her  skin  ,  riling  her  up  to  see  a  reaction  ----  but  then  they  started  to  enjoy  it  a  little  too  much  .  zully  thinks  your  muse  is  the  thorn  in  her  side  ,  but  your  muse  is  starting  to  get  a  little  too  comfortable  wanting  her  to  notice  .  they  might  have  even  unthinkingly  hooked  up  at  some  point  .    this  plot  is  also  based  heavily  off  this  plot  HERE  .  

[bluedaviau]

「 cherry. rachel hilson. cis female. she/her. 」 are you ready for the time of your life, BLUE DAVIAU? the TWENTY ONE year old FINE ART graduate from tulane is ready to HOT AIR BALLOON  in DUBAI this semester. close friends would describe them as IDEALISTIC and CREATIVE, but there’s really only one way to find out. get ready for what august has in store for you, BLUE ! 「 pepper. twenty one. est. she/her. 」

ABOUT THE MUN.  the 2000 claymation film chicken run radicalized me

what up, i’m pepper, i’m twenty four, and not to flex but i’ve had writer’s block for two str8 months !! but i’m hoping to change that right here right now with one ms. blue daviau so thank you for coming on this journey with me friends it’s gonna be wild. a bit about me is i’ve gone to the mall literally every day this week and honestly, i am Exhausted from it so i apologize for the mess this intro is about to be. i’m a taurus with a libra moon and libra rising so do with that information what you will. my favourite pokemon is mewtwo. growing up i had a massive crush on danny phanton and ben 10, like i loved those lanky boys that could transform to fight crime for some reason?? i can’t tell you why. also when i was a child i thought god looked like king triton from the little mermaid. alright that is enough about me, moving on to blue. 

BIO.  if you use my coloured pencils you better put them back in rainbow order

this is going to be the short version of her bio but if you want to see the long rambly messy version you can find my google doc/app here ! which i recommend you looking at for no other reason than to see how cute the little cherry doodle i inserted in there is. it took me so long to get that in there and looking cute. it’s baby’s first fancy google doc 😌 anyways sdjhdsjh 

blue was born and raised in hawaii! her mother, stormi, was miss hawaii state at one point and her father, reggie, was a pro surfer! however before blue was born her father had a surfing accident that left him in a wheelchair. he turned to art to try to cope with the trauma of this accident and the reality of never being able to surf again, and he even opened up his own gallery! his gallery became a tourist attraction in hawaii and pretty well known in the art community and after passing down her crown blue’s mother became a news anchor. so the fact was blue was the daughter of two local legends in hawaii and the expectations were high!

not to mention the fact that all of blue’s elder siblings were amazing too. blue has five older siblings and all of them are successful in their own right and in their own niche. they’re also all named after colours funnily enough. the daviau parents had big hippy energy in case you were wondering. 

so growing up blue was always just kind of the ‘other’ sibling. all her older siblings had showed their talents at a young age and grew into them pretty quickly, while blue was just kind of... there. she was an artist, but she wasn’t a groundbreaking artist. she could sing, but her voice was simply pretty, not lifechanging. she could surf, but she was average at best. to put it simply, blue was the daviau sibling who wasn’t at all special. which ironically, made her stand out like a sore thumb. 

blue didn’t mind too much though, at least not when she was younger. she kept to herself anyways. all blue wanted do when she was younger was read, draw, and explore hawaii’s wild life, so she had everything she could possibly need to be happy right at her fingertips. life was good for her despite her inadequacy, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of it (and wouldn’t develop a complex about it later).

when blue was six though her parents decided that they needed to have sweet, sweet, baby number seven to save their marriage. they named that sweet boy gray. he did not save a damn thing, but he sure was cute. blue was eleven when her parents finally divorced and that pretty much marked the end of blue having any kind of parental guidance. 

long story short, both of blue’s parents went kinda buckwild the moment they were single and most of the responsibility to take care of five year old gray fell on blue. blue was the one to make gray’s meals. blue was the one to give gray a bath. blue was the one to tuck gray in at night and get him into his school clothes in the morning. blue was the one to help him with his homework and hold his hand as he crossed the street and honestly pretty much do everything for him until she was about seventeen. both her parents simply checked out on that front, and it the end blue was more of a mother to gray than either of their parents were. 

the pressure of having to not only take care of herself but also gray when she wasn’t even legally an adult yet, was honestly way too much for blue. her anxiety skyrocketed, and the pressure she put on herself only grew. the only way blue could really cope with it and calm herself down was by 1. losing herself in nature, 2. drawing, or 3. reading, or rather most likely, doing all of the above at once. using art of an escape pretty much guaranteed that blue’s love and passion for it grew, and with that her talent for it. by that time blue was seventeen she had a full portfolio ready to send off to any university outside of hawaii that would take her. because you bet your bottom dollar your girl was getting the hell outta there!

as we all know blue got accepted to tulane. it was hard to leave gray and her family behind, but blue set her mother and father straight before she left, ensuring that gray would be well taken care of in her stead and hoping that some distance between herself and her family that was so dependent on her (her mother never new how to cook so blue made all the meals, her father never knew how to handle gray so he was always coming to blue to advice, gray was absolutely lost without her, etc) would lift that pressure off her shoulders. 

it didn’t at first. the first few months were tough with all the calls blue got from home. that plus the schoolwork she had on her plate almost left her more stressed than before. however, slowly the calls began to fade and slowly blue was able to put her full focus in her art program, and later, her animation programs. 

sorry folks my brain is fried, we’re gonna stop here!

HEADCANNONS. on all levels except physical i am sitting on top of the moon with my legs swinging back and forth

Blue’s father is in a wheelchair from the surfing accident that made him take up art. His past as a professional surfer is actually part of the reason why his gallery is so popular though honestly, because the accident was televised and after that tragedy many of his fans and the public wanted to support him. He just also so happened to be really talented. But yeah, Blue’s father was really talented at surfing, he was even invited to the summer olympics in the nineties! But he was also the type to refuse to go because ‘surfing should be freeing, the olympics have so many restrictions, it takes away from what surfing is!!’ dkjsd he was that type yk? I also imagine Blue’s parents were the type to be on the front lines at protests. As it is, Blue is the same, very passionate, definitely has made some bomb ass posters and t-shirts for every women's march she’s attended.

Blue can play the ukulele really well and she honestly has a really pretty singing voice. However she can’t dance even a little bit. Honestly, she could literally break a bone. Really wants to throw it back though 😔

Loves to bake and cook because they’re relaxing activities with built in rewards. Learned to bake and cook because of having to take care of herself and her brother's meals when she was younger, that is if she didn’t want them both to literally get diabetes. As it is though, now that she doesn’t have to worry about her baby brother’s diet as well as her own, she will make a whole chocolate cake just cause she’s a little stressed and proceed to actually eat it. But she will share though. Catch Blue coming to your hotel room with sweets.

All of Blue’s elder siblings are adults now, but Gray is still about sixteen. They exchanged letters from Hawaii to Tulane and Blue always spends hours decorating hers and including little snacks and cute little knick knacks in them, despite the fact that Gray is now an angsty teenager and does not find these things as entertaining as he used to. Despite that, they are definitely the closest out of their siblings for the most part.

Blue’s siblings' names are Sage, Jett, Jade, Ruby, Rose and of course Gray. Jade and Jett, and Ruby and Rose are both twins.

The type to cry easily honestly. Also the type to carry other people’s problems with her. Like if you tell Blue that someone hurt your feelings last week she will remember and she will check on you the next time she sees you. Very empathetic, almost to a fault though because she’s constantly being careful of everyone else’s feelings rather than her own. The type who’s a good listener though. Also the type to give either really good advice or really odd advice.  

Art still tends to be her happy place, something she got from her father. Trying to find her own place outside of her father's shadow. She wants to get into the world of animation and cartoons but the whole task is a bit daunting. Is planning to work her ass off for it though! Spends a lot of time in coffee shops storyboarding and making animations. I think she may have a contract going on with a cartoon network of some sort, like they may have picked up a show of hers? Because I imagine her putting out some of her first shorts on Youtube and that might have gotten a bit of attention and led to her getting a deal for a show, so. She’s probably working her ass off towards that, and is honestly probably 1.doubting if they really picked up her show because of her talent or her father’s name, and 2.wondering if she can really do this.

Loves water in all shapes and forms. Since she can’t go to the beach everyday, the small bath in her tiny ass apartment??? Suddenly heaven. That said, Blue is either terrified of the ocean or loves it and I can’t decide which. Standby on that.

Makes a great coffee cake. Like it’s to die for.

Is VERY passionate about the environment. Is a pescatarian. Goes to the farmers market to pick out fresh produce. Loves to hike.

Always has the urge to sketch or paint after she reads poetry or novels. Highlights her favourite bits and has the tendency to read them over when she’s sad. The parts she loves are usually the parts that leave her wanting something.

Draws when she’s sad too. Claire Saffitz energy when she’s cooking but also just through life. Very friendly, but an introvert when it comes to gathering her energy.

Lives for libraries and bookstores, and has stacks on stacks of books in her old apartment. Loves old children's books honestly, like The Secret Garden, and poetry. Like whimsical and fantastical fiction with flowery words that just brings you to another place? Blue’s freaking jam. Falls in love with someone in fiction every five days, and desperately wants to be in love in real life, hence all the tinder dates and blind dates. I don’t think Blue ever has fallen in love though, like not really.

An absolute baby when it comes to the cold. Literally there could be a slight breeze and Blue will be acting like she’s suddenly in the arctic.  Any cold destinations will be greeted by a bundled up Blue’s Clues.

Made her first painting out of her own feces at six months old. Her parents proudly framed it. It’s probably still up in the attic in their Hawaii home.

Won her first art show at six but was unsure whether it was because her art really was something worth awarding or because of her father’s name. The award got her on the front page of the Honolulu Tribune but with her father proudly at her back and the title ‘Following in her father’s footsteps’ above her head. Blue just wants to find her own footing in the art world, and be her own person.

Keeps a journal and has since she was a teenager.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i’m the friend that needs help opening water bottles. 

coming to theatres near you soon!