#and while wow is a nice distraction i wanna do some writing too

[crazyunsexycool]

Sugar is out on mission, so Bucky picks Henry and Lottie from school!

Lottie is hopping and giggling and hands inter twined with Tommy.

Lottie - Daddy look what I made *shows her drawing of her family*

Tommy - Mr.Bucky look what I made *that's Lottie and me getting married*

What would Bucky's reaction be🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hahahaha let this man’s heart have some rest!!!

School pick up

Warning: Tommy existing, Bucky’s blood pressure going up…

Most of the time you were the one to pick up the kids from school. Today was an exception. You were needed on a mission and it became Bucky’s responsibility to pick the kids up. He didn’t always have the chance to do this so he was more than happy to strap Peanut in their car seat to pick up the older two Barnes kids.

Henry was the first to be let out of school. Now it was just a matter of Bucky picking up his Doll. There was a line of other parents at the elementary school waiting for their kids as well. Bucky stood beside the car and scanned the door of the school once kids started pouring out.

“Daddy!” Bucky heard Lottie’s unmistakable voice ringing over all the other noise. “Hi daddy.”

“Hi doll.” He waved and smiled to her as she pushed her way through the crowd.

The smile quickly dropped from his face when he saw Lottie holding hands with Tommy. She was pulling him along with her. They skipped along happily until they stopped right in front of him.

“Hi daddy. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Doll. That’s why I came to pick you up.” Bucky picked Lottie up and accepted a kiss on the cheek from her.

“Hi Mr. Bucky.”

“Thomas.” Bucky said curtly.

“Daddy can I show you my drawing?”

“Of course.”

Lottie smiles big while Henry moves to hang out of the open car window. Tommy waves at him and he waves back but mostly Henry’s expression mirrors his father’s.

“Wook it. It’s us.” Lottie holds up her artwork . It’s a picture of the family and alpine. You’re all at the beach smiling and having fun.

“Wow this is amazing. This is definitely going on the fridge.”

Lottie beamed at her father.

“I made a drawing too Mr. Bucky. Wanna see it?” Tommy says while already digging through his backpack that was too big for him. “Look.”

Bucky stared down at the piece of paper and his blood boils. He can literally feel his blood pressure rising. There in the drawing is Tommy in a suit and bow tie holding hands with Lottie. He drew her hair up in a bun and a white dress. She’s holding flowers in one hand while the other is joined with his. If that wasn’t enough there were hearts all around them and the words Lottie and Tommy forever on the top.

“Miss Daisy helped me write our names. Do you think my mom will put it up on our fridge?”

“Yeah it’s so nice.” Lottie replies.

“We have to go Doll. Say goodbye to Thomas.”

“Bye Tommy.”

“Bye Lottie.” They hug and Bucky has to hold himself back.

“Alright let’s go Doll.” He opens the door for her and helps with her seat belt. She’s immediately distracted by Peanut.

They drive silently all the way home. By the time they’re hopping out of the car you walk out of the front door. You can see Bucky’s seething and want to laugh already. Before you can ask you welcome the kids with hugs and kisses.

“What happened?” You say as the kids walk inside.

“He drew a picture of them.”

“Aw that’s so sweet. He always draws something very nice, Tommy is quite the little artist.”

“He drew them on their wedding day and on top of the page it said Lottie and Tommy forever. Their teacher helped him write it. I’m going to call the school to complain.”

“Complain about what? The teacher doing her job?” You say with a laugh while you follow him in.

“For allowing this kid to lie to my girl.”

“How is he lying?” You ask.

“He’s not gonna live long enough for forever.” Bucky says pissed off.

“Well they don’t know that.”

“I’m not gonna let him live long enough.”

Now you’re standing there laughing at him. You lean up and kiss his cheek.

“You’re ridiculous. Stop threatening the life of a kindergartener and start accepting the fact that one day Charlotte will fall in love.”

“No she won’t. I’ll stop it before it happens.” Bucky sports his usual pout.

You roll your eyes and start walking away. “What you should be doing is thinking about what song you want to dance to at her wedding when she becomes Mrs. Tommy Anderson.”

“Not funny.” He yells as you start laughing.

[archandshri]

9th feb '24 - [arch] characters, interactions and emotion - making a mini webcomic

Gahhhh Shri this has been an absolutely crazy couple of weeks!!!! Hope you are doing well :)) First of all, WOW! You have a lot of goals, and I’m sure you’ll get them done! I’ve worked a lot on my graphic design during the process of making Winter Wellbeing. If you wanna see a blog post dedicated just to that, I can do so! It would be cool to compare notes on the approaches we take for graphic layouts. If you wanna share your knowledge of camera skills when you build that up that would be awesome 😭😭

It’s been a tough few weeks, art wise. I have been reflecting on my process, motivations to create, the ego and all the baggage that’s lumped into the creative process for me. It turns out there’s a lot. I took some space from my illustration practise (literally for a weekend!) and began to realise how dysfunctional it is. I’ve been writing a lot about that so there may be a larger piece of writing coming about that at some point (no promises!!)

But for now, let's talk about little successes!

I’ve been playing with some characters for a while but I’d hit a bit of a block with the plot. I realised the expectation of having a finished project of high quality soon is unrealistic, and an unhealthy expectation to put on myself. I rarely give myself time to play with concepts for a long time and let the characters, plot and interactions evolve naturally. Maybe this in part came from sticking to the short university module turnaround. I noticed that that short turnaround was causing a lot of block, so I have decided to bench it as a comic for now and focus on using it as a playground - falling in love with the characters, creating stories and drawing them for fun. Maybe years down the line I’ll make them into a comic - we shall see! 

I *tried* to do hourly comics day this year and it didn’t quite work for me. I think I made 3 comics? And then got distracted with a bigger project that ended up taking a week or so to complete. Let’s have a look at it, shall we?

[you can find the full version here]

First of all, it’s based on an unfinished fanfiction I started a couple of months ago, which was mostly bad, but there was one nice scene that I liked and wanted to expand on. I started by having a look at the script I wrote and thumbnailing on the iPad. I’m away from home at the mo and usually would prefer to do most of my artwork traditionally, but because I don’t have access to a scanner, the whole process was digital this time. A lot of the pages got scrapped because the dialogue wasn’t necessary, and I’m not drawing pages that aren’t necessary.

some more development screenshots

I thought a lot about posing during the process, acting the scenes out in my mind and sometimes physically, really understanding the emotions of the characters, why they’re saying what they’re saying, their tone and how to convey that though their body language and expression (i find grian really annoying normally [affectionate] but I want this grian to step on me).

Pearl was hard with this because she’s quite erratic and unpredictable in this series, so I wanted her to switch from raw explodey anger to playful jabs at Grian. I’m hoping this comes across as somewhat insane, rather than tonally off and inconsistent. I did super enjoy drawing her and her explosive nature though, especially in comparison to Grian’s coldness.

I played with levels and monotone colour too - I’m not working with multiple colours much at the moment so I’m able to focus on things like values composition, characters and backgrounds. My skills limit the kind of stories I can tell currently, so I’m working to improve those foundations. Maybe when I’m back in the riso studio I can play with colours a little more.

Colours - despite the simple pallete it gets a bit nerdy here.I stuck to specific flat percentages for most of it - Pearl’s hair and Grians jumper are 60%, Grian’s hair and Pearl’s cloak are 20%. Then I added a 14% layer for shadows, using a ahrd blend eraser tool for highlights, making the images quite dark. I fill a layer with texture from Forystr’s riso brush for procreate, and turn it into a 40% opacity colour dodge layer. This gives it some much needed texture and makes the lighting feel low and nighttimecore. It also pushes the values to look really nice - I tend to be too scared to push them by myself.

I tried a few different colour layers to get a *vibe* but settled on a low percentage riso blue in a colour layer. All layers besides the riso blue are in a riso black, colour picked from a riso colour pallete. I learnt these tools - using percentages to get good values - from working with risograph. I really recommend having a look at these techniques and doing some monotone work. It's really improved by character designs, page layouts and compositions.

That's all from me today, though I have had MANY other thoughts over the past two weeks about creating, but perhaps we'll dive into them another time. If you (or anyone else) has any questions, hit me up with a reblog or an ask and I will get right to it. Lovely to hear from you! Hope your art is going great too :)) Arch :)

[spikeandset]

Please please please!! - Oikawa

Master list

Chapter 6: coffee shop 🩷

Waiting you smile to yourself as you touch up the makeup you’d done earlier that morning. It’s been a while since you’ve been on a date, let alone allow a guy to come and pick you up for one. Smiling when you get that ‘I’m here!’ Text you stand up and walk to the door, going to his car with a smile.

“Hi! How was the gym?” You ask Toru with a smile as you buckle yourself in.

“Sweaty” he laughs out as he smiles at you, focusing on the road, “how are things going?”

“Good….just got frustrated trying to write my next album so I figured something like this could be a good distraction” You explain, earning an understanding nod.

The car ride was full of small talk, favorite color, how are your friends, the weather has been nice lately. Pulling up to the shop you smile, it was a cute and quiet shop, seemingly far away from people who would know who you guys are. You grin, for once you can act like you’re not famous just get to enjoy something.

“This is perfect.” You smile at him as you both get out of the car and walk in.

Toru seemed to be extra careful to open the door for you, and nodded to you to walk in, which made the heat rise to your cheeks a little.

“Oh, thank you! You’re too sweet!” You smile at him as you walk in.

Ordering your drink and a pastry, you pull out your card to pay when you feel Torus hand gently push it down, “I’ve got it!” He smiles at you.

“Are you sure? Really?” You ask, practically melting on the spot. It’s been a while since someone had treated you properly, so basic decency almost always had you head over heels.

“Beyond sure. If you really wanna pay you can get our next date.” He says with a wink and you just laugh a little and hit his shoulder.

Sitting down with your drinks and food, you couldn’t believe this was happening on a whim.

“So, you’re a singer, as a singer what kind of music do you listen to?” Toru asks with a smile, “is it like just all your friends or do you not know everyone?”

“Actually I really am not super close with a lot of musicians because of the falling out I had with Hitoka because of Atsumu. She kind of ruined a lot of relationships I had in this industry. But, I do really like Asahi’s music, it’s so raw, the amount of willpower it’s taking me to not get a ‘Call your mom’ tattoo right here.” You say and point to your inner arm, “I would want it in my mom’s handwriting too.” You explain

“Really? I don’t really listen to him but I think I’ll have to start, that’s really cool his music means that much to you. I only know Stick Season, and I like it but who doesn’t like that song?” He laughs, “I mostly listen to old rock or some rap, but I’ve been getting more into pop.” He explains

The rest of the date went similarly to the average conversations about your pets, siblings, parents, and other big dreams you have until towards the end.

“So if you don’t mind explaining what like went down with Hitoka, I remember the headlines but I was filming so I couldn’t really catch up.” Toru asks curiously

You take a deep breath, knowing this was going to take you out a little. He should know, and you know that, he has a right to if he’s going to date you he should know the risks.

“Well you know Atsumu right?” He nods, “okay well I’d known him since we were kids and he asked me to hang out with him, you know the drill we start dating. Apparently him and Hitoka hadn’t broken up when he told me that they had. Hitoka was so angry at me for ‘stealing’ him that when she finally let me explain she told me she could never forgive me. I was ridiculed, sent death threats all that fun stuff. That’s where because I liked a boy came from….I try to write my feelings out, sometimes it works, others it doesn’t.”

Toru just sort of nods, almost in awe that you shared that story, but you’d started to get nervous.

“Toru? Sorry did I go too crazy?” You ask as he shakes his head.

“No no! It’s just….wow I can’t believe that. I thought Atsumu was an okay guy, I’m probably gonna unfollow him later now.” He says as he gets up, offering his arm to you.

Standing up you grab it and walk back to the car. It was safe to say that there likely would be a second date, and you had some material to write about finally.

Call your mom by Noah Kahan 💜

Stick season by Noah Kahan 💜

Because I liked a boy by Sabrina Carpenter 💜

Taglist: @sereniteav @daisy-room @sachirobabe

@jojo23allegra

There’s no socials in this chapter cause I feel like it helped the story, plus who doesn’t want a fluffy little coffee date 😊🫶

[robotsafari]

i will literally never be over the kh pilot. everyone has already moved on. wow what a cool novelty. sucks that it got canceled. okay im just going to never think about this ever again lalala~ (or its weird. or the art is bad. or its got too many inaccuracies. whatever.)

but me? no. im insane. this thing is too insane and amazing to just end the conversation about it. i will always think about this thing. i will always think about the massive loss the kh community never even knew they had until recently.

while i will never know what the full creative vision was. this pilot tells us that THEY. WERE. COOKING. they lean into the fact that sora is just a kid, (SOME FANS FORGET THIS) and he now faces this burden of being a hero when all he really wants is to see his friends again. the !! even though its just a pilot and riku was probably put in agrabah just so they can introduce him to the audience. i would’ve LOVED more riku encounters. traverse town, neverland and monstro were great. but in my opinion? not enough! though the only thing i would fear riku’s more frequent appearances would do is distract from some of the disney stuff (you dont wanna get rid of it. but you dont want it to take over. its a delicate balance) so maybe use him a lil sparingly but god. put him in more situations, okay?

while kairi plays a more proactive role in kh1 and thats fine (shes not useless. i hate when people call her that) i still would’ve LOVED more scenes with her. whether it was in destiny islands or near the end of game. im just liek YES !! you go girl. prolong the heartless sora segment if ya have to. do it for her. it would’ve been fun to see kairi and sora hollow bastion hijinks. waauughh please kairi my good friend kairi. liek. what we’ve seen of kairi in the pilot was already awesome. kh2 hadn’t even come out but the energy has always been there guys. she wants to take an active role and she hates sitting back!! love that the pilot wanted to give you a glimpse of this by having her kick a damn shadow in the faceee!!! you will always be famous forever kairi god bless.

my good friends donald and goofy. wtf did nomura do to you. one liek = preyer for teh toons /silly. yeah so liked how their fighting was actually toony in the pilot. goofy literally beating all the heartless while knocked out and donald getting messed with by a shadow like a typical donald short is just perfect (THINKS REAL HARD ABOUT HOUSE OF MOUSE.) and ofc!! the heart’s there too!! donald and goofy are so sweet to sora!! THEYRE HIS DADS. they’ve done playful ribbing to sora in the games, and thats not exactly a bad thing.. but sometimes i feel like it gets TOO MUCH. ESPECIALLY IN KH3 GOOD LORD. donald and goofy are sweet. yes donald. hes only gets mad because people mess with him. if you’re nice to him hes super sweet. some playful teasing from donald is okay, but too mean or too much and then its not him. mickey has a pretty minor appearance in kh1 unfortunately but omfg. if i rant about how nomura writes him then we’d be here for a while. the real mickey would not have left aqua in the realm of darkness. just know this, okay? idgaf if you don’t believe me.

it’s confirmed maleficent possessed riku in that scene. you know the one. someone said riku was lying.. NUMBER ONE. his eyes turned completely white and idk about you but thats liek. the textbook sign of being fucking possessed. riku didnt know wtf was going on!! just just grabbed the lamp and suddenly things happened! im sure it was supposed to be interpretive, yes, but the dialogue and visuals suggested possession and also kearsley confirmed it himself on deviantart. (you can search it up yourself) NUMBER TWO. maleficent asks riku if sora believed him. implying that she wants to use riku to manipulate sora. imagine if she used this possession again, in more subtle ways. riku sounds like a sopping wet sad cat too, whatever he does anyway is just so that he can get everything back to normal and undo his mistakes. maleficent doing MORE active villainy would’ve been. SO GOOD. god bless.

oh wait this is the part where i start talking about ansem huh? teeheeeee weheheheee. yo imagine if he was in house of mouse. OKAY THATS NOT A JOKE BUT THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE WHAT THIS PART WAS ABOUT. ERM. i just hope he would’ve still been voiced by billy zane thats all ask for. in this awesome alternate timeline where the cartoon wasn’t cancelled. i think ansem was perfect in kh1 i dont think they needed to add or change anything really.

in short. i have autism. goodnight.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Truly. And thank you so much. Well, considering the series does make me happy (including a certain someone), I feel like I will probably be happy while reading it and true. We got hints of angst in the anime and I feel like they’ll undoubtedly be explored more.

Sure thing. And do. It’s good so definitely check it out when you have the chance. I see and I understand. My friend sent me some manga panels of the slightly darker moments and I feel like it would have been difficult to animate. Though I have heard that they’re making another season, that’s coming out this April, so it’ll be interesting to see how that goes. Yeah. The second season is pretty much entirely anime-only and Alois and Claude do not exist in the manga universe. But the third season is based on the manga again so then the anime series becomes good again. Me too. Like I was already excited to hear about him voicing Grelle and then Lawless’s VA also appeared later on so that’s just great. But at some point Grelle did sing and I could connect the voice to Yata’s moment in Requiem of Red.

Don’t worry. That will never happen to me. I look forward to reading long texts from my friends. And mine are as well so it’s totally fine. Thank you. I sent out the replies slightly earlier today since I finally got everything typed out. And looking forward to seeing all of your post stuff. That’s really nice to hear  😊

Thank you. We’ll see since honestly, even though I am looking forward to everything, there are still many chapters to read but I do hope to read more of it because I feel like Servamp has become a new love of mine. Thank you. I’ve given you my essay and hope that it’s all clear enough since it was a ramble but it was the only way I knew how to do it. It’s nothing. Some bits were a bit more difficult to come up with than others but all in all, didn’t take extremely long. Only time will tell with that one. But either way, I am looking forward to learning more about him and of course seeing more of Lawless (and him). But yeah, every interaction is important so they will be interesting to see.

I see. That is a real shame and sounds like it would be horrible in some cases. I see. A part of me figured that after I initially read your message but it’s so horrible that they’ll still fight you, especially if the frames are super expensive. But I am glad that there is an optometrist around that you can go to, even if it does take ages. Yeah. I can imagine that. Like overall, I have pretty okay eyesight since I don’t wear my glasses during the day in the house but I feel like I’d also definitely struggle with reading the subtitles unless I was sitting right in front of the TV. And it’s great that it has great sound quality 😃 And fair enough. Best to use things util you entirely can’t anymore.

I see and that does make sense then. Glad to hear that you also love that song 😄 And wow, that’s a lot of songs. I have a playlist of slightly more than 70 songs that I listen to while posting on AO3 or doing something with my hands that’s routine but I also sometimes listen to songs that aren’t on the playlist while I’m on my computer, doing other stuff. True. I rewatched some Naruto episodes some time ago and just went straight for the dub, not even considering the sub since I knew it was good. Sure thing 💕

C

I'm so glad the series makes you happy and I'm looking forward to talking to you more about it, both through anything you wanna send through the inbox and in our messages through dm's (which I am hoping to get off one more within the next week or so before I go temporarily AWOL to write commissions/passion projects). And I will say they definitely do explore more of everything touched upon in the anime within the manga. Manga often gives more space and time to really flesh out events and characters and development, just because the pacing can be a little more relaxed and it's one of the things about that medium that I really love.

I will check it out when I get the chance and thanks again for letting me know about it. And I do feel the art style of Black Butler, though ungodly beautiful at points, is something that definitely would be hard to animate and still keep looking exactly that way. And I hope you'll enjoy the new season when it comes out. I have been told by another friend that some of the specials are really fun to watch, but it's definitely worth it to devote my time to catching up manga-wise if I feel like getting back into Black Butler, so I might just bump that up the to-read list a little, especially since I've been a little spoiled in that I'm told there's some really interesting things going on now with Undertaker and that was a character I had really loved and found intriguing. I couldn't name a single one of the voice actors from shows I like without googling the characters I first heard them as, so again, just you and the people like you, who can hear those characters all in the voices and know voice actors work definitely make me flabbergasted, in the best of ways, and make me really happy for these artists getting the recognition and love that deserves.

Aww, thank you so much for saying that. That's very reassuring to hear because yeah, when I get talking, I don't shut up and I have been told by friends in real life that getting texts from me can feel a little bit like a bombardment but I'm always just so excited to talk to interesting people and discuss things and share my thoughts. Plus, I adore long replies and walls of text from people, because it shows excitement and enjoyment of the conversation, so long replies never both me either, so you're cool that way. And I have the replies but haven't really taken the time to fully read everything, just in trying to work away at stuff as quickly as possible. And thank you for looking forward to it and I hope I won't disappoint. I will take this point to say, if everything goes well, I'm ahead of schedule enough that I should be able to completely clear the inbox and draft folders and reply to dm's before I take my sabbatical to write that commission and a couple things I've been pining after time to write, like The Ever Young, the delinquent! Shouhei fic, and a couple AO3 planned fanfics. I have two AU posts, two match-up requests, two regular headcanon requests, three drabble/fic requests, and this and another chattering reply to do so really, I'm down to under 10 actual replies to write.

I have never done this in the blog history but am taking the opportunity to ask that nobody send anything new, even chattering, to my inbox. Despite me closing it, I have been getting new requests. I kept one but deleted three. I really need a little bit of radio silence, just for a week or so, so I can really buckle down and write these posts without my focus getting distracted or me feeling like things just keep being added to the 'to-write' pile, please and thank you.

You're very welcome. And I love that it's become a new love of yours and honestly, in my opinion, you're getting through it at a really good rate. And for anyone wondering, and because I did see your dm asking this question, I am not caught up fully on Servamp, I lost the time to really read it shortly after Niccolo was introduced, so no spoilers please past that point. And your essay was both lovely to read and clearly written, as are most of your fandom thoughts! You know I do enjoy hearing them. And thank you again for doing that for me. I have read through all that and it's perfect and just what I had been hoping for and I will make good use out of it!

And it is a shame, because good quality health care should be a basic human right to me, but at the same time, I have to remember to see the positives in it all. And I don't agree with fighting any patient for their prescription, as it's actually legally a right for the patient to know and you actually hit the nail on the head - Vogue Optical frames can range from $200-$400, after my lens prescription is added in there, as I have absolutely horrific eyesight and already wear bifocals at my age. So, not even ashamed to admit that I am a little jealous of people who don't need to wear glasses all the time and terribly jealous of people who don't need to wear them at all because I've been wearing glasses since pre-K haha.

I love music, and I only switched to a digital library because I ran out of space. I still have, in storage, a shit ton of CD's (both burnt and bought) and cassette tapes, plus a couple vinyl records. Music is a pretty constant for me, that or podcasts, way more than I would say television is and every time I sit down to write, I normally make an hour or two long playlist to listen to while writing so I get having a playlist for when you're posting on AO3. Heck, even the shortest of my drabbles on here have at least a 3-4 song playlist I listened to while writing them, and some of my AU's have a 20 song playlist I listened to on loop while thinking them out and writing them. Also, always up for song recommendations, in case anyone has some, just putting that hint out in the universe for ya'll to drop them in my dm's.

[sadhoglet]

wow a lot's happened since i last posted here

I got double-engaged!! I have two fiancees and i love them both. I live with one and the other is long-distance but we're all gonna live together one day, and there's even some cute triad energy going already/flirting between the two of them omg it's so nice

I left Panera briefly, went to a job where i felt like a zombie and everyone was super unfriendly, and came back. I'm hoping to get another job that pays better/has better benefits but i guess i'm stuck for now.

My third gf ghosted me over the course of six months, barely speaking to me unless i messaged first, never trying to hold a conversation, etc., so I ended things. It had dragged on for so long that it barely felt like we were together anymore anyway.

My best friend also ghosted me??? She found a new bff and group of friends and suddenly stopped talking to me, despite us being super close and talking every day before that. I still work with her and I feel super awkward around her like....she basically replaced me despite saying a lot of shit about being best friends, sharing a lot of personal and painful things with each other, etc. It really feels like I was an emotional crutch for her while she was getting out of her shell, until she met her people and then I was thrown away. I feel super used and gross about it still. The worst part is, when i messaged her saying I felt uncomfortable and it was clear we weren't friends anymore, she was like, "wow, this feels like it came out of nowhere???" Which hurt even more.

I guess being ghosted by two really important people in my life at the same time kind of fucked me up, and I became incredibly withdrawn and isolated like I tend to do when things like this happen. Abandonment issues babeeeeeeeee. I didn't realize that's what I was doing until like two weeks ago. Weirdly enough, reading fanfics and gay manga is what got me out of that rut? Instead of distracting myself with mindless video games, having to actually think about feelings and relate to them.

So yeah, i'm gonna try and get back into therapy, because obviously I need it. Valerie recently got a job too and now she's out more/sometimes has to sleep earlier than me, and I've noticed how...lonely I get and how those negative, self-hating thoughts come back almost immediately. I want to write more too...or at least, journal on here consistently. Having a space for myself is really good.

I sort of broke things off with super-emotionally-distant-and-flaky-Sarah for awhile. Having intense feelings for someone i could never be with was really starting to hurt. Not her fault-- she was very clear about where she is and I honestly did it all to myself. But I came back after like a month and a half, oops. She's been actually trying more though, and i've been trying to temper my expectations in turn. It's become clear that she has mutual feelings for me too which is unexpected. Sighhhhh she's like the forever unreachable third wife I wanna have one day. I don't know if i'd go for a third relationship now, but for her, i'd always make an exception. She's really special to me.

Anyway that's my life. I'm still a traumatized mentally ill orphan child with health issues and an ED and body image problems but at least I have two amazing partners and a decent job and i'm not homeless. Super broke, but i can do nice things every now and then. I feel a bit stuck but...that's okay. I'm still growing. and my 30s have been the best years of my life so far. Here's to hoping.

[mcalhenwrites]

Hmm... I managed to get a little bit written today, but I'm struggling a bit with mental health and it's affecting my writing. xD;

I thought a walk would make me feel better, and it did while I was on the walk, for the most part. I lucked out that it turned out to be cloudier than expected while I was out. I got to see a mama duck with her babies and thought of Bee (my OC) and how happy that would've made him. (Also, the babies were not small! They were almost adults, all female and like smaller than mama by just a teensy bit! Too far for good photos, sadly.) But I came home and managed to edit and post ch 64 of Seasons, pushing through all reservations I have about sharing my work. (Again. Just when I think I've got this thing tackled, I'm like, "What if I just focus on finishing the story but I don't shame myself publicly with posting my works all the time?" lol why, brain, why???) I'll get better in a few days. It's just a funk. It's waiting out the funk and trying to distract myself in the meantime. Walk helped, then I tried video games but wanted to do some reading, then I thought I'd do some cleaning... and I got stuck debating on if I want to wait on packing up some of my favorite display stuff until I'm more certain about the date of this move? Anyway, I stripped my pegboard of all but the "big three" aka Xillia (guess my OT3), FFXV (okay, ignoct), and STRELITZIA (KH I guess)

Me: wow I love KH *has two SoRiKai charms, a Ven charm that shows his BBS armor on the other side, and the rest is all fucking KHUX related* (Thanks, Yume, for giving me about 70% of the Xillia charms I own <3 And thanks everyone who gifted me a lot of the other stuff over the years. I love it so much. This pegboard is a happy space for me!) I'm tempted to take down my crocheted button displays to wash them (they're so dusty) and they're also mainly Xillia, with some ignoct, and uh... various stuff, I only have one Strelitzia and Lauriam button and a Sora pin from KH.

I will say I got to see some really nice insects (warning for images below) on my walk? Haha, it was truly a Bee day ;) (Now I wanna draw him in a flower...)

Oh god, this just made me realize... Like... Vivian and Graham had these Seasonal kids, and those kids have tastes very in tune with their seasons and birth conditions. They really passed on the ability to really go all out with nursery decorations and shit like that. Like having flower-shaped blankets for baby Bee to crawl on, one in a pumpkin shape for Howie... a snowflake one for El... They had so many opportunities to just go "yeah it's like a holiday but for our children" and make those childhoods so much fun?! (And honestly, like holidays, childhoods end. It's better that way. Precious, passing memories, and none of this "trying to maintain this human nuclear family that doesn't let the kids express themselves" bullshit.) Anyhow. Yeah. I'm rambling. ^^

[yostresswritinggirl]

Dear Mom,

it’s certainly been a while, hasn’t it?  Do forgive me, the academy has kept me busy. It really does feel like a constant debate sometimes. You and the rest of the communitree weren’t lying when saying school was rigorous, haha.

How have you all been? I hope none of you are overworking yourselves, drinking and eating three meals a day as well. Looking at Chuuni specifically; that’s right, just because I started drinking more water doesn’t mean it applied to both of us. It’s not like I’m drinking water for you. Has Cilly moved on from Alhaitham and Kaveh yet? I mean I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. Have the anons continued brain-rotting about your stories as well? They’re always a joy to listen to. Especially when from you.

I really do miss you all, dearly. Maybe send me back a letter through a neighboring bird or something, they’ll know where I am. Maybe send a few copies of Rei’s art as well. It would be nice to put something up along my dorm’s walls. Spice things up a little.

As for me, it’s been alright. Apparently it’s required for first years to participate in a concert of some sort; like a welcoming show for the one’s being welcomed. That doesn’t really make sense, but the academy never made sense either. Why are we forced to wear something specific to show “school spirit”  anyway? It’s like shoving into people’s faces that I go to the same school as them. We get it.

Other than the odd policies of the academy, it’s very beautiful. The trees here grow tall and are very old; according to the school staff that is. It’s like the Windrise tree you mention in your stories, but larger and taller. And a lot more of them. There’s a bunch of canaries and owls in them. They drop down to the lower branches to watch me work sometimes. I’d love to show you some of my personal friends one day.

Even for a supposedly old school, the buildings actually look pretty new - I think. It honestly reminds me of that one school you, Rei, and Cilly talk about. What was the name.. Twisted Wonderland? No, that’s too weird of a name for a school. It doesn’t even have a synonym for “school” in it. Was it Night Raven College or Royal Sword Academy? Whatever, everyone here seems sane, unlike what you guys typically describe anyway.

Do the paintings talk there? Do the stairs move like they do here? I’m curious now; are all big schools like this? It’s quite the experience. They help me get to my destination faster, so I don’t mind.

Oh! You’ll really love the library here. The stories are so absurd. Like there’s this one book about how an artist brought fictional beings - monsters and people alike - to the world, and instead of bringing havoc the world’s inhabitants ended up admiring the creations. Weird right?

The semester’s going by really fast. I should be able to go back and visit you all soon! Better not come back to everyone in absolute shambles. Well, my work desk is in shambles now that I look at it. In my defense it’s not my fault the history course is so demanding here. I just want to know what this area of the Land is like, you know? Maybe it’s ‘cause I keep getting distracted by the small background information. It’s like Pinterest all over again. Man.

It’s getting a bit too late for my taste, and I still have so much studying to do. Please, do right back to me when you have the chance. I’d love to hear how you and the communitree have been doing. I encourage them to write back to me too!

From the far corners of the land,

Cherry

-

wow, that's a whole 640 words of prologue lore HASJAHS-

the last paragraph of that is actually genuine, like i really wanna see canon-in-persona-exiled to write back. OF COURSE IM NOT FORCING YOU TO MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT REPLYING TO A WHOLE 640 WORDS BUT YOU KNOW.. HAHA-

Dearest Cherry child,

It has been a while indeed, and I was getting worried that the academy's working you down to the point that you can't write to us anymore. I'm glad that's not the case, and it seems that there are parts of your experience that is still making your journey there worthwhile!

We've missed you a lot! Unfortunately, as is the case with you, your brothers and sisters are busy working hard on their own institutions here. I'm doing my best to keep everyone in check and taken care of but some habits die hard haha. Things have gotten tamer here at least, but we've got new people - ah yes, more siblings joined the community and brainrots have been coming along greatly.

I could perhaps ship you a book or two of the new stories we've created, together with Rei's beautiful art. That dorm will be your home for a long while and it's better to make it as comfortable and welcoming as best you can.

It's a shame we didn't get to see your performance, I know for sure that it would have been lovely and worth it to travel across the lands just to see it. Odd policies are indeed the norm on academies since the dawn of time (oh, I forgot to mention that I was hired as a librarian on this academy that desperately needed one!) but my child, you are strong, I can already sense your resilience just from this letter alone.

Your academy sounds beautiful, perhaps even rivaling the gorgeous sights here and it comforts me that they give you peace here and there. There's a lot more about your academy than the mystical aesthetics and I hope you get to explore them all to your heart's content, why? Because it would make good stories, that place seems to be brimming with inspiration and I would like to hear all of it when you come back!

Christmas break is coming soon, isn't it? The holidays and the end of your semester, I'm hoping that everyone could come home and celebrate together - speaking of, are you craving anything? I'll cook your favorite when you get home, I'm sure the food you eat gets quite repetitive there and your twin might just bring a bucket of KFC from where she is, Inazuman tradition and all that.

I miss you dearly, my sweet child. Make sure to always take good care of yourself and know how to prioritize your mental and physical health all the time. It won't always be easy, but that also means it won't always be hard on you, so pace yourself as best you can! May your journey be blessed with fortune and all the things you've always wished for.

Terra incognita,

Exiled

--

Awee this was so cute and adorable! And all the lil nods to the arcs, I recognize them hahaha I was wondering if I could respond to it in letter form too but I didn't wanna be obnoxious but then you added that note at the end yesss thank you for that

So this is the lore you're talking about, I'm loving it already!!

[linawritesocs]

my ocs' glorious masquerade voicelines!

YES I KNOW THIS EVENT IS OVER BUT. WELL I'M STILL NOT OVER IT SO YEAH I'M WRITING MY SONS' VOICELINES FOR THIS EVENT.

also yes, even though seth is my mc, he has his card and his voicelines as well because. um. i wanted to write his voicelines. THAT'S IT THAT'S THE REASON DHDJKSSKSK. i'm not sure if i actually see him as "playable", but i think it would be nice if his and minnie's cards could be used as "support cards" for battles and exams, basically like a buddy bonus. also you could use their cards for lessons too!! it would be so cute to see them studying with nrc students 🥺🥺

i added their "card descriptions" as well, because i won't be able to draw all of their cards, but i still want to think about what they would look like!

seth's masquerade ssr voicelines.

card description: he's talking to rollo while they walk together and grim looks tired of him and he's thinking of running away from his owner. as for the groovified version, you can see seth smiling and dancing with someone and it seems to be rollo. he's also not wearing his hat, his mask and his cape and his hair looks more messy than usual, however, he's having fun. for the first two items, he lost them while the whole magic user genocide thing's been happening and for his cape.. he just took it off to make rollo and malleus pay attention to him. and it worked because of his shoulders being open. yeah, scandalous.

summon: "this city is, like, so cool! i honestly wouldn't mind living here- hey, grim-chan, wait for me!"

groovy: "hehe, you thought i'll just stand there and let you dance with that guy? sorry, but i've been waiting too long for this moment."

set home: "i guess this cape isn't that bad, but.."

home idle 1: "i wish minnie-chan could come with us. imagine if she saw sebek-chan right now! oh, maybe i should send her a pic or two? he's way too distracted because of malleus-chan anyway."

home idle 2: "i don't get why rollo-chan made me wear this cape, to be honest. i think it had something to do with my outfit being "too revealing"? what would he think about my halloween outfit then?? wait, i think i have some photos of it saved.. hey, rollo-chan, i have something to show you!"

home idle 3: "i don't get it. how did they manage to make these outfits? they fit us so well and they even added things like azul-chan's glasses and roland-chan's eyepatch.. where did they get that info? though i probably shouldn't be surprised, i can easily guess anyone's measurements right when i see that person, haha."

home idle groovy: "malleus-chan really thought he can just steal him away from me like that.. he's way too popular anyway, so he should let me have fun as well. maybe he did it because i refused to dance with him earlier? ugh, he's even more childish than i am.."

home tap 1: "some kids said that i look really pretty and asked if they could put flowers in my hair. i said that they should ask merrill-chan because his hair is longer, but for some reason they still wanted to do it with my hair.. they did such a great job though!"

home tap 2: "wow, ivy-chan is right, that assistant guy looks so cool! of course she would get such a huge crush on him!.. i feel kinda weird when i look at him though. if it wasn't for me changing my appearance, i would probably look just like him. so yeah, it's like meeting my own twin in some way."

home tap 3: "so epel-chan was okay with riddle-chan and deuce-chan saying that he looks cute, but when i said it, he looked at me like i just insulted his entire family??" *sobs* "why is he so mean to me.. i'm just trying to be a supportive senpai, that's all.."

home tap groovy: "i had so much fun today despite everything, i don't wanna go back to nrc! can we stay for at least one day- oh. wait, we were supposed to spend three days here, right? SO I CAN STILL TRY TO ASK ROLLO-CHAN OUT?? LET'S GO!"

hayden's masquerade ssr voicelines.

card description: he seems to be stalking seth and rollo and he has stars in his eyes and he's smiling like a fanboy that he is. meanwhile the groovified version of his card has him wearing his mask, blushing and refusing to dance with others. he looks a lot like a tsundere too, haha.

summon: "ehehe.. i can't believe i finally found someone who's related to the other seven! this is my chance, my family will be so proud of me!"

groovy: "oh, sorry, i don't really like to dance. why don't you go and dance with rollo-sama- ahem, rollo-san instead? i thought you were more interested in him anyway."

set home: "why the chameleon mask.."

home idle 1: "this school really is amazing, don't you think so, prefect-san? and the righteous judge's statue.. i've never thought that i will actually see it.. i-i'm not crying, i just got a bit emotional, haha."

home idle 2: "of course they would go with team names like that.. nrc students never change, do they? they're always so arrogant, so full of themselves, they're just so- well, i mean, it's normal to find other students annoying sometimes, right?"

home idle 3: "allen is here too? ugh, he really is following me everywhere- oh, i'm sorry, do you want to take a walk somewhere together? i would love to learn more about this city and i'm sure it would be even more fun if i do it with you. i just hope allen won't see us.."

home idle groovy: "stop looking at me like that, i told you i'm fine with you dancing with him. i'm sure rollo-san wants to dance with you as well. but promise me that you won't disappoint him. though i doubt that he would get bored with someone like you around."

home tap 1: "i just want to get a break from azul already.. why did it have to be him? honestly, i would be okay with the leech twins going with us, he's just that annoying! hm.. what if i text floyd and tell him that azul really did cheat and that's why he and jade weren't able to go? i wonder how he would react.."

home tap 2: "elpys would totally love this place. i can see her jumping around and going "hay-hay, look at this! isn't it so cool?", haha. i kinda want to see her wearing a masquerade outfit too.. prefect-san, you know it's rude to eavesdrop, right?"

home tap 3: "there are so many rsa students, but it looks like angel didn't come with them. and blythe too.. to be honest, it's a bit boring without them. and it looks like the speculum students feel lost without them as well. that catboy is doing just fine though, i'm not surprised."

home tap groovy: "no, i'm not sorry for "breaking allen's heart" or anything like that. it's something that i should have done a long time ago. you know what i mean, right? he had a crush on you too, after all. i wonder how long it's gonna take for that nemis girl to get tired of him."

merrill's masquerade sr voicelines.

card description: he's looking at his outfit and has this confused face expression, almost like he's going ".. i have to wear THIS?" and in his groovified card he seems to be looking at his phone and laughing. it looks very cute too, because you can tell that he's genuinely happy :) he's not dancing with others and it's fine, he's still having fun.

summon: "i look beautiful as always, right? haha, i know that. i just wish that guy would let me keep the first outfit, i looked even better in it."

groovy: "if i'm not dancing with you all, it doesn't mean i'm lonely or anything. i'm just talking to my cousin, what's wrong with that?"

set home: "i have to spend three days here.. i sure hope it's not gonna be boring."

home idle 1: "i'm glad you think i look good in this outfit, but.. you've seen the first one, didn't you? so you agree that i looked better in it! ah, of course you would say that, you had to go through the same thing.. i'm so sorry, prefect-chan, we will take revenge on their student council president."

home idle 2: "it really hurts me to see onyx-chan pining over my cousin like this.. okay, yeah, it hurts me because he looks pathetic and not because i feel sad or anything. but hey, that's why i should try and help him. he doesn't have to worry about anything at all~"

home idle 3: "of course, idia is also here.. and why did he ask me to be in the same team as him? is he obsessed with me or something? but i like that our outfits look different, even though we're from the same dorm. it's like i really am not his servant anymore and i have more freedom."

home idle groovy: "haha, austin-chan would lose his mind if he saw me wearing this. hey, can you take a picture for me? sure, i could take a selfie, but i trust you and i think you will take an even better photo. okay, let me think of a pose.."

home tap 1: "hey, sorry, but i think hayden-chan is thinking of stealing your man from you. do you want me to do anything about it? what, i don't mind helping you as well, you're not so good at hiding your crush on rollo-chan. you don't have to worry about it though, i doubt that he's interested in your rival."

home tap 2: "wow, those kids really have done a great job. and the colors of these flowers fit your hair so well! if your hair was longer, you would look even better.. hm? is everything okay, prefect-chan? you look so pale.."

home tap 3: "hehe, so you and grim-chan are wearing matching outfits? how cute. didn't you two do it for halloween as well? you sure get along well.. okay, why is your cat screaming and trying to run away? are you hiding something from me, prefect-chan?"

home tap groovy: "i didn't think that i'd end up saying this, but today wasn't so bad. sure, idia was here and also some of us could lose their powers forever, but it got solved more quickly than i thought. well, idia is still here, but.. hey, did you talk to their vice president yet? he's a cool guy, you're totally gonna love him. i talked to him before and i already know that i will miss him."

allen's masquerade sr voicelines.

card description: he's holding a really cool sword and looking at it with this :O face expression, like he's never seen something like this before. as for the groovified version, the card looks much darker than everyone else's cards and it has this red lighting which makes allen look more scary and intimidating. he still has a smile on his face and he seems to be holding out his hand to someone, asking them to dance.

summon: "all of this sounds so romantic! could it be.. i'll finally get a chance to dance with hayden? hehe, i can't wait!"

groovy: "now, would you like to dance with me? don't worry, as long as i'm with you, nobody can hurt you, even hayden. him being a cheater is one thing, but that loser can't even dance properly!"

set home: "i'm so excited for the festival! hey, hey, are you excited too?"

home idle 1: "for some reason, hayden isn't paying any attention to me?? it's almost like he's avoiding me for some reason.. i don't get it, why is he following that rollo guy everywhere? hey, can you do something about it, prefect-chan?"

home idle 2: "nemis-chan looks so pretty in that outfit.. u-uh, what, i'm not staring or anything! anyway, where's hayden? i should go and find him- oh, i almost tripped."

home idle 3: "you want to know why i have a sword with me? oh, i just thought it would look good with what i'm wearing, that's all. i mean, you can agree with that, right? i have no idea how to use a sword though, but whatever, i'll figure it out. where did i find it?.. oh no, their student council president is coming, distract him for me."

home idle groovy: "hey, it's not like i miss you or anything, but just so you know, i could've danced with you instead of nemis-chan today! if only you accepted my confession back then.. it's fine, you really are not the best person for me- what do you mean, we can still dance together as friends??"

home tap 1: "of course, everybody wants to dance with neige-kun.. i-i'm not jealous of him! and i've expected that, he's so popular after all, it's just.." *sighs* "i wish i was just as popular as him. i bet people would be just as excited about dancing with riley too."

home tap 2: "whoa, i didn't expect roland-senpai to reveal his other eye today. it honestly doesn't even look that creepy, i don't understand why most students got so scared of it. maybe i should go and comfort him? ah, i just remembered that he still hates me.. well, who cares about that, i'm gonna do it anyway."

home tap 3: "um, can you ask your boyfriend to stop staring at me like that? i feel like he wants to kill me or something like that and that's pretty rude of him. calm down, why is your face so red? wait, he's not your boyfriend?? i thought that you were on a date when i saw you two hanging out. haha, prefect-chan is still single!.. oh no, you have the same face expression as him."

home tap groovy: "i'm glad that jay-kun is already feeling better. i really thought he was gonna die because he's literally made of magic.. hey, can i ask you something? are you and the student council president really that close? like.. would you cry if something bad happened to him? like, something really, REALLY bad?"

roland's masquerade r voicelines.

card description: he's trying to put his mask on and he's still covering his damaged eye. he's smiling, almost like he's trying to calm everyone down and telling them not to worry about his vision.

summon: "i think i should wear a mask instead of an eyepatch because it would fit this festival's theme better. i just hope others won't find my eye too scary.."

groovy: "haha, being a fae in this situation is so.. inconvenient. i'll still try to help others though. that's what a reliable upperclassman should do."

set home: "thank you for saying that i still look good. i really appreciate it."

home idle 1: "did allen really steal that sword?" *sighs* "of course he would do that, why am i even asking. i'll go and apologize for him. it's not like i'm worried about allen, i just don't want other rsa students to look bad."

home idle 2: "why did neige-kun ask me to dance with him? he has so many fans and admirers, why would he find me more interesting? i don't get it.. maybe he just felt bad for me because everyone's been avoiding me this whole time? this is so embarrassing.."

home idle 3: "hehe.. oh, don't mind me, i just noticed something and i thought it was funny. um, don't you think my name is quite similar to rollo-kun's name?" *laughs* "sorry, i thought about it again. i should listen to the other students and stop saying dumb things- you think it's funny too? i'm glad to hear it."

home tap 1: "i'm not used to wearing something like this.. hm? what do i usually wear? ah, when i was younger, i was in my.. ahem, "emo phase", so i mostly wore everything black. i looked kinda scary back then, haha. i think my fashion taste is much better now, though it doesn't seem like avery-kun agrees with me."

home tap 2: "it looks like you and other nrc students are having fun. oh, did that sound weird? i just.. yeah, as you can see, i don't really feel like i belong with other rsa students. sometimes i wonder how my life would go if i never had to transfer to this school.. no, i shouldn't think about it like that, i have avery-kun and other gardening club members after all!"

home tap 3: "don't you think it's strange that even though it's called "the city of flowers", we haven't seen any flowers yet? i'm very curious about this city's "special" flowers as someone who's a gardening club leader.. it's a shame that avery-kun couldn't come with us, i can imagine him asking rollo-kun about them until he agrees to show them."

fake!jay's masquerade r voicelines.

card description: he looks like a poor innocent child who has no idea where he is hjdjdksdks. basically he's just standing there, looking lost and kinda nervous with a drop of sweat on his face.

summon: "d-do i look weird? how do i move in something like- oh no, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to fall like this! w-what should i do, everyone is looking at us.."

groovy: "imagine if my creator found out about this.. what would his reaction be? would he be worried about me or would he be happy because he doesn't have to think about his creation being more loved and talented than him? never mind, i'm just thinking out loud."

set home: "um, well, i guess i like my mask.."

home idle 1: "i wish i could learn more about this city with everyone else, but.. allen-senpai. i have to make sure he doesn't do anything weird or even illegal. i'm jealous of one of those nrc students, jamil-senpai, was it? he doesn't have to worry about anything like that right now.."

home idle 2: "i don't think my creator would like this place, it's too noisy for someone like him. maybe it's because of the festival, but i can't imagine him enjoying this trip. what about me? uh.. i guess i don't mind it that much? no, actually, i like it a lot. it makes me feel like i'm a real person with a fun and exciting school life."

home idle 3: "maybe it's for the best that angel-senpai didn't come with us. i still respect them even though they're just as unique as allen-senpai, but i wouldn't want them to cause problems for the nbc students. and we have chenya-senpai here, so that's.. that's already too much."

home tap 1: "h-hey, i'm sorry for asking this, but.. would grim-san be okay with me giving him some headpats? again, i'm so sorry, he just looks so cute today, i can't help it! h-he's fine with it? are you sure about that?.. what do you mean, he will regret saying no to me?"

home tap 2: "why did i have to dance with chenya-senpai out of all people.. no, seriously, why did he choose me? i'm one of the most "ordinary" students here, i'm too boring for him! you think i tend to attract chaotic people because of my personality? what's that supposed to mean??"

home tap 3: "i've actually done a lot of research before going here with everyone else. i won't deny it, i got really excited when i heard that i'm one of the students who were chosen. as for allen-senpai.. he just went "oh, hayden is going to be there? okay, i'm coming then!" he really thought that he had a choice too.."

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary303

7/18-19/24

thursday-friday

wow...303...like the tb 303 bassline synth... crazy.

the fact i can make the day text in that stupid font is like endlessly entertaining to me. i might keep doing that but like having one day like that is really funny too.

anyway, i didn't do very much today w/ music. feels stupid, like it makes me feel stupid and bad and like guhh like i guess i feel like i have to be writing riffs like have have have to. but maybe i should rest a bit on that. think about what i want from grind and pv riffs... what i wanna play. what's something that feels and sounds good? it's hard to figure that out when my gf is home all day. also hard to figure out when guitar rig crashes ableton sometimes. and then not other times. !!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, today was not a bad day or anything, i called my work about my check, and they said last time, they mailed it to my address which is my parent's place, so like i called them, they were all we didn't get it, i was like okay, i need to call my job again to get them to mail it again. i called them, they said oh we have it here. i was like why!! they were like well we got paid and that's where tha checks go. and then my ex boss said if i want it mailed it's just going to take longer and like why did you tell me it was being mailed to me????!!! so whatever. i walked over because it was a little rainy and weird today, the cloudcover was really not the best but i brought my umbrella cuz it was raining sometimes / sometimes not, so it helped me not feel like death, obv i was sweating the whole way there cuz it's crazy hot out here in vegas + humid cuz of the rain but the humidity is kind of nice, i don't mind sweating a lot it feels kind of good for you and humidity keeps your skin moist in a way so i like that also. it's not like your insides are being evaporated out of you by the sun. instead the world is a pool you're always trying to get out of but failing.

i got my check, as usual the people there were oh so confused by me dressed how i normally dress and a little put off or something like there's some kinda crisis and they don't know who i am or how i know my boss' name. what ever!! i never have to see them again. it's not even everyone, i have no hate for all the people there just the fucking management. why would they jerk me around like that??? it feels intentional, such scummy shit.

also, i didn't take pics but i think my outfit today was cute and i think i looked kyute too. i am happy about feeling good about myself.

anyway, i listened to this record today, this is a song off it i'm a little obsessed with, cuz the riffs are so simple but they've got that slide shit i always hear and get envious of cuz it's harder to get right on the stuff i do:

it's good to listen to this stuff though. i wonder if they have any tabs out there.

good they have a tab for this song:

happy to have access to that. it's funny how this song's main riff, to me it sounds more complex but it really is just these 4 chords, one's low but then it's this chromatic move kinda, the kind i'm a fan of where you start in the middle, down a half step, then up a whole step up from that half step, so it's like a half step from where you begin there but it's a little abstracted feeling. i also like how most of the song is just all this disso chord thing into a dead note bit.

their 2 records i've heard are really good.

also, while walking, i got to listen to something i haven't listened to in a while, this record:

as well as a couple others, the compilation of the encyclopedia of american traitors, glad i was reminded of them, i ought to listen to that comp more, lots of interesting riffs and the vocalist really loses his shit when he screams, you can tell he's not really feeling good doing that, he shreds his chords it seems, hopefully he did no permanent damage. anyway the closing track on this ep:

i really like the bit he does about how issues of race, gender, environment, do not distract from class struggle, but are in fact part of class struggle, it really moves me to be honest... how are people regressing from that point!!! this band from years ago got it, these are factors which are part of people's struggle for material security, and part of their exploitation and how they're exploited... idk. it's so strange how a lot of the political stuff in screamo/emoviolence really does feel watered down. you had so many bands talking about hating shitty men, talking about issues of gender, men making some kinda effort, and i know a lot of it was also really annoying breakup stuff, but that's what it seems to mostly be now... or maybe not actually. i do know some of these new bands, especially the grindy ones, do take after the other grindy earlier bands, orchid being so political i suppose helps keep that in their minds.

now i am listening to arab on radar... i got someone to listen to them... that's so crazy to me. he was listening to solo john lennon. now he's listening to arab on radar.

this song really is a masterpiece. i mean this double comp is some of the best music evarr, their whole discog is basically perfect.

anyway... i'm getting sleepy. for some reason i did waste a good chunk of the day looking at that rnc stream to see what anyone would say. basically it's the usual racism/everything else, trump did decide he had to talk about "men playing women's sports", which is crazy to me. i mean not really but it's baffling people care so much, they think they see it everywhere. i do wonder, somewhat often these days, if people are gonna get more bold about hating anyone who is not cis.

obviously though, the big deal is racism, these are the things the reactionaries seem to be focusing on, tales of murdered women and foreigners. hideous ways to frame this information. anyway it's best to not dwell, another take away is how hollow and pathetic that whole thing was, how sad it is, also these photos are insane to me:

there's more but this one's like got everything going on. her face, her earring is crazy, why is it like a safety pin, why is she kind of trying to be punk rock. is that what punk rock is. i mean obv not. but it's really funny.

anyway like i sad: sleepayy so i should just go now, before i go to bed at 3 am again. we're going to my gf's friend's birthday @ korean bbq tomorrow. i am excited for that, though i do not want to overeat. though it's not like i really ever do, it seems like. the worst i ever feel is bloated from salty food. not like... heavy with too much food. just kind of gross at times. i am looking forward to that, though last time her friends saw me i was wearing a one piece swimsuit and i guess they're all like, now unsure of what pronouns to use, or one is, i don't really ever like saying what anyone should call me, if he asks idk what i'll say. though i guess at this point i sometimes feel like saying "everything's okay" is maybe, it's like only half true, like it basically is, but idk, there's times where people use he with me and it doesn't feel good. sort of like they say it in a panic, to make sure i really am or something. and then because i'm... well floaty's not the right word because i am entirely feminine, in how i present myself, even if i am androgynous generally i do think it's heavily feminine, so it's not like loose in that way, it's just like, i'm whatever, but whatever in a funny way. i am just my self!! i don't want to ever be made to feel like i am anything in particular..

with that ,, , ,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stardustloserdoll]

WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT ALEXS HANDS PLEASSSEEEER🧎🏼‍♀️

YESSSHHSH

side note: i really hope they go on tour again i wanna see them so bad. to anyone who was able to go to a concert im jealous and how was it😭‼️

you’re playing your guitar and it’s turning me on

female reader

“and this is g.” alex moved his fingers to the cord looking up to show you. “see that?” he said tapping his fingers. “yeah i see.” i mumbled watching as the veins on the back of hand slightly pulsed as he tapped on the string. “y/n love?” you didn’t care about the g cord, you cared about what he could do to that g spot. you stared at his hands the whole time, not even paying attention to what he was teaching you. “are you paying attention doll?” he chuckled looking at you.

i shook my head. “what’s on your mind hm?” he asked raising an eyebrow. “you just have really nice hands.” i spoke looking up at him. he smirked setting his guitar aside “oh? is that why you were so distracted this whole time? you were staring at my hands.” he said tilting his head slightly brushing some strands of hair away from his face. i nodded watching him as he did that. “come here.” he said motioning to me with one finger. i moved closer to him sitting in front of him. “open.” he said rubbing his thumb over my bottom lip. i parted my lips still holding my gaze. “get them nice and wet sweetheart.”

my cheeks began to burn, i nodded and watched as he stuck two fingers out. i brought my face closer to his fingers, taking them in my mouth. i began sucking on his fingers while looking at him holding his wrist taking him more in my mouth. he let out a satisfied sigh tilting his head as he watched me suck on his fingers. “good girl.”

after sucking on his fingers for a while he pulled them out. “you want me to touch you now hm?” he smirked looking at his now wet fingers. he grabbed my cheeks looking at me “answer me.” he squeezed my cheeks harder “yes, yes. i do, please touch me al.” he smirked “good.” he began pulling my pants down along with my underwear. he looked down, with a smirk on his face. “wow you’re soaked angel. all from sucking on my fingers?” i blushed at looked away embarrassed.

“look at me.” he ordered gripping my face again. i nodded looking at him. “get them wet again for me doll.” he said holding his fingers out again, i took them in my mouth again and sucked on them. he then pulled them out, placing his wet fingers against my clit rubbing it slowly. i gasped looking down as he rubbed until he plunged his fingers into me without warning. he began pumping into me curling his fingers. i whined as he sped up making my thighs shake around his hand. his fingers hitting every spot slightly grazing my g spot.

“is this what you wanted?” he asked, i gripped the carpet and nodding my head unable to say anything. i watched how his hand flexed making his veins pop out, his hands looked too fucking hot. “you gonna come sweetheart?” he whispered getting close to my face placing a kiss on my lips.

“good ahead come over my fingers babe.” he grinned still pumping into me until i came over on his pretty fingers. he stopped his movements and slowly removed them, bringing the up to his mouth. he sucked them clean before unbuckling his belt “spread your legs. im not done with you yet.”

[bam-stroker]

hi!! i'm a huge fan of all your works, and i was wondering if i could bother you for a little advice!

i've been trying to post my own writing, and while i'm decently confident in my work, i tend to overthink a Lot when it comes to actually posting on the internet. i usually get super anxious and delete it within a couple hours. have you ever dealt with nerves like that? do you have any advice on how to get through it?

you seem super nice and your work really inspired me so i thought i'd ask :3 ☀️🫶

O wow! Thank you for the kind words!

I have 2 things that really helped me out with finally putting stuff out there on ye old internet

Perfection is IMPOSSIBLE

You can edit and edit and EDIT forever! And then you'll just edit your head out of ever accepting the story as it is. Heck you'll start to look at the words on the page and maybe even start hating your voice as a writer. A dangerous path of self destruction and sadness! For me - I know for a fact grammar is my weakness. Have always struggled with the rules/restrictions. So for me, I accept it! Just like if you played sports you might know, hmmm I might not be super fast but I sure can throw that ball SO FAR.

I understand my limit - and to some that might be a put off. And that's alright! For the stuff I put out there for funsies I shrug and let myself not care as much about the grammar stuff. Now for the work I eventually sell - I'll tag someone else in for grammar if I feel it's important for that project.

At the end of the day I write FOR FUN. I do this to not think about my day job stuff. So fun is the only goal I have! Perfection is a shiny thing far off in the distance that tbh is not real. And giving yourself something attainable as a motivator will do far more for your nerves. Do it for fun! Do it because you wanna talk to friends about it! Do it just to see how you grow!

Perfection can be holding a mirror up and saying "Well why am I not like x?" You're you - the story you have to tell is yours. Inspiration can come from many places but beware the itching thought in the back of the mind of someone else's work = perfection. Even that other artist is not perfect.

Follow your motivator and when perfection creeps up - go take a walk outside and come back when you're well rested and well fed.

Make an account just for writing

So if you take a glance around my ye old blog - I made this one entirely for the sake of writing. TBH this was the biggest thing to allow me freedom to just write and not worry too much.

It allows for a space where the people who want to engage with my writing can do so. Or if anything it keeps my easily distracted mind in my best attempt of a chaos containment zone haha.

I've always written a bunch of things just for me, but I've also always wanted to engage more with other people through writing. I want to talk about my little blorbos! I personally think of my pen name as akin to a drag name. If having a buffer between your personal identity and the writing helps - go for that! That certainly was the thing that let me finally let loose and not be as in my head.

At the end of the day making art can be an incredibly personal thing. Writing in particular - because it can feel like your voice on full display! If the fear stems from a place of being afraid of people not liking it, it can feel incredibly personal.

For me, following my motivator of fun and creating the buffer of my silly little skeleton was enough to finally let me relax and enjoy sharing with others. I've been writing 20ish years... but now I can finally say I'm having a blast with it in ways I never could have imagined before! I wish joy for you in your sharing process, and hope my little thoughts were helpful 💞✨

[avosloved]

anyway, here’s that small one liner/start call i promised from that activity post i made earlier this week. no cap atm, so we’ll see how many i can actually get through.

[dear-departed]

"We should try that." (Beelzebub)

I had fun writing this, give me feedback, please. I feel like it was okay, but it's definitely been a while since I've written anything smutty, so maybe cut me some slack lmao.

Beel being out fav tit man as usual

Warnings: Smut, just smut. Face-sitting, MC is afab, but no pronouns are mentioned.

Word count: 1.8K

Watching a movie with Beel is always relaxing. The constant crunching of popcorn takes some time to get used to, granted that not many people have a constant stream of it going throughout the film, but regardless, he’s very nice company. He doesn’t make remarks at every corner, he’s an awesome pillow, and he doesn’t mind your constant wriggling or snuggling closer.

Well, it would have been relaxing. It should have been. But then again, you should have known better than to borrow a movie that Asmo of all people recommended. Beel doesn’t seem too bothered, a little red in the face, yes, but part of you wonders if he’s even paying attention. His eyes seem hazy, a little glazed over.  

It’s not like you should be super embarrassed seeing this sort of thing around him, after all, the two of you had been dating for quite a while, and of course, as most couples have, the two of you had also been intimate once or twice. But still, this was supposed to be relaxing, not arousing. Maybe a part of you feels guilty, what if he’s uncomfortable and just doesn’t want to say anything? Or what if he’s grossed out that you would dare show him something like this? It’s not like you can just stand up and change it, that would be so awkward and... 

It’s not like, just porn, no, but it is certainly very mature. 

“We should try that.” You’re ripped from your thoughts by your dear, ginger-haired boyfriend pointing at the screen, looking down at you with a light, nervous grin playing on his lips, his face now a darker shade of red. 

Upon looking at the screen, you see the woman on screen straddling what you presume is their lover’s face, seeing as the camera doesn’t pan down that far.  

“We have done that, Beel.” You say, smiling nervously in return. And that’s true, he had eaten you out before, and truly, he’s a beast at it. It's like his jaw never tires.  

“You’ve never sat on my face before, though.” 

Something arousing begins to brew in your gut, while your heart also slowly sinks to your heels. Oh god, that sounds so enticing but at the same time, so nerve wracking.  

“Wow, huh... you wanna try that?” You ask, looking deep into his violet eyes for any hint of hesitation, but all you see from those god-forsaken mirrors in his head is your own, red face, gently illuminated by the dim light of the T.V. 

His brows furrowed a little, his head cocking to the side. “Only if you want to. Why do you look so nervous?” Dammit, it’s like he can smell the doubt dripping off you.  

“I dunno, it just feels like it would be a lot different in real life than on screen. You know?” You began to fidget with a lock of your hair, your nails raking through it as a way to distract yourself from your overwhelming thoughts.  

“We can try it, and if you don’t like it, or if it feels bad, then we’ll stop, and then later, we’ll think ‘well, we didn’t like that before, so maybe we won’t try it again’. Does that sound okay? If you don’t want to, that’s okay too, MC.” He nodded his head once, awaiting your input. 

“Yeah... that sounds okay. I’m willing to try that. I feel safe testing this out with you. Thank you, Beel.” You leaned forward a little bit, taking his plush cheek into your hand and beckoning his face forward, to which be obliged happily, placing one hand on the back of your head and the other hand on your waist. 

He brought your back to the floor slowly, the control that he had to lower and raise you as if you were nothing to him was absolutely impeccable. His large hand that was placed on your waist made a slow trip up and down your side, before two of his fingers lovingly fiddled with the waistband of your pants, slowly wiggling them down your hips. 

As he did this, his lips latched onto your, caught in a passionate, popcorn-flavored kiss, the faint taste of whatever soda the two of you had drank prior to this still light on his mouth. His other hand made the same familiar descent down your body, helping to tug down your pants. 

After he got the fabric about to your knees, he lifted the fabric of your shirt up, breaking your fervent kiss temporarily so that he could get it over your head. His eyes slowly drifted to your exposed chest (let’s be honest, who the hell wears a bra at home?). 

He caressed your hip, rubbing his callused thumb across your tender skin as he trailed it up to your chest, giving one breast a brief squeeze before he made his way further up, his index and pointer finger pressing on your collarbone before he held your jaw in a firm yet delicate grasp, tilting your head up just a tad. 

He leaned down, his lips making themselves at home on your neck. He ran his warm tongue along the tender skin of your throat, paying extra attention on where your jaw met your neck. When he felt the goosebumps begin to sprout up beneath his touch, he knew he was at least doing something right. 

He was always so intimate, no matter what the two of you were doing, always putting your comfort and pleasure above his own. Sometimes, you couldn’t help but wonder if most of his fun was just watching you enjoying yourself.  

He kissed down along your collarbone, then the valley between your breasts and down your stomach. Finally, he stopped, sitting up to finally pull your pants off completely. 

He stared at your underwear, his gaze directing itself back up to you. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Beel.” 

He leaned back down, planting a thoughtful kiss right above the waistband of your underwear, his warm breath tickling your skin as he whispered. ‘Thank you...”  

Balling up your underwear and pants, he tossed them to the side, grabbing ahold of both of your hands and pulling you to sit up. He briefly paused, seeming to be processing something. He turned his head, reaching for a half-empty bottle of water, taking a brief sip of it and swishing it around his mouth, then, he swallowed it. After doing this a second time for good measure, he set the bottle down and turned back to face you, smiling a little. 

“Okay so... I’m going to lay on my back, and I’m assuming you’re going to scoot yourself over my face?”  

“That sounds about right” You croaked out, throat a little dry from the number of gasps and sighs you let out from the previous kiss session.  

He nodded again, lowering himself to lay on the floor, his eyes hungrily trained on you as you gathered your wits, crawling a little closer to him. After mustering up enough courage, you began to shimmy yourself over his face, your clit perfectly aligned where his tongue happened to be.  

Leaning forward, you gently pressed your hands on to his chest, which had thankfully been bare since the two of you had started the movie. After all, his man-tits made gorgeous pillows. 

Just barely hovering over his face, he began to experimentally kiss and suck at your core, just as vigorous and hungry as you remembered it. Perhaps a little more sensitive in this position, because the sensations coursing through your body were absolutely delectable. 

He grunted softly, his hands making their way to your thighs, he pressed you down a little more. “I can take it.” He assured, coaxing you to put a little more of your weight into his face.  

Moans escaped your slack jar, tongue lolling out and head rolling back a little. Small appraisals fell from your lips as he slurped away, occasionally grunting against your heat. His hands gripped the soft flesh of your thighs, his thumbs rubbing the tender skin as he continued to eat you out, progressively getting more and more desperate. 

His tongue flicked back and forth across your clit, relishing in the way your body tensed up each time his warm tongue brushed against the ball of nerves, the way your breath hitched every time you felt that shock of pleasure rides up your body, making your brain foggier by the second.  

Eventually, he began to gently suck on it, sending into a surge of ecstasy. “B-Beel!” You gasped, gripping onto his massive man tiddies abs. 

He withdrew one of his hands from your thighs, holding it out in front of you and making a grabbing motion with his fingers, signaling for you to grab his hand. He squeezed yours gently when you grabbed onto his, lacing his fingers with yours.  

That moan that naturally fell from your lips was enough to let him know that he was doing the right things, the way your hands gripped him telling him that you were nearing your high. 

Experimentally, he pulled his mouth away from your clit, blowing a gentle puff of cool air onto it, feeling as your muscles clenched after being so relaxed.  

As quickly as he pulled away, he latched on again, beginning the same routine of suckling on your twitching ball of nerves, sending you shooting to the top again. In the midst of your pleasure, your legs began to tremble, your moans getting louder as the seconds ticked by. Twitching, your hips lifted up and off his face a little. In a hurry, he pulled his hand away from your, grabbing ahold of your thighs again and pushing you further down onto his face, coaxing you to carry out your orgasm. 

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, your throat getting tight as every nerve in your legs and core felt as though they were on fire, shooting pulses of pleasure and dopamine that went from your brain all the way down to your ankles. 

He slurped up your pleasure as if he were starving, moaning into your core at the taste alone. He released your thighs from his grip, leaving red marks where his fingers were.  

You shimmied back off his face, much clumsier than when you first got on his face. 

He sat up, running his long tongue around the outside of his mouth, savoring the taste of your release. “Did you like it?” 

“Y-yes.” You fell back to sit on your butt, your shaky breaths telling him more than your words could, but regardless, he wanted to hear it. “We... we should do that next time, too. If you don’t mind.” 

“I’m glad you liked it too, I loved it. Almost as much as I love you. Maybe because it has to do with you.” He yanked the thin throw blanket the two of you had been cuddling with over the two of you, snuggling into your side. 

Needless to say, the two of you will definitely be incorporating face sitting into your sex life.  

[thesunmeltedthegrayaway]

Spitfire: Dallas Winston x Reader

This is a request, if you have a concept you would like to see me write for any of the characters I am willing to write for in this post send it in!

The request is...

You had been working at the DX for around a month now. So, you had been spending a lot more time with Steve and Soda than you normally would. Which was fine cause the three of you had always been close. You didn't really think much of it, it was just you working with people that you actually liked.

Dallas... saw things a bit differently. He got into his head, his insecurities flooded into his mind and slowly but surely they made him lash out.

But, he didn't exactly tell you about the invasive thoughts he was having. Dallas wasn't an open book and you sure as hell weren't a mind reader.

"That soc is extremely lucky I didn't put water in his gas tank," I said tensely while pointing a windshield wiper at an amused-looking Soda.

"Y/N/N our job is to service cars not destroy them."

"I know," I replied plainly. "But because I am petty I only gave him half a tank of gas when he paid for a full one."

Soda let out a laugh before shaking his head. "Of course you did."

I grabbed a soda out of the cooler before hopping up onto the counter. "Steve still workin' on that rust bucket back there?"

"Yeah, he won't give up on that thing." Soda answered.

"I don't think he's ever going to get it running again," I whispered, the last time Steve heard us saying that he couldn't fix something up he got pissed.

"I don't either." Soda quietly agreed.

We heard a crash and some colorful curses from Steve causing us both to laugh. Steve stumbled out from the back looking more disheveled than usual.

"Don't start." He said tensely.

"Too late Randle we already did," I replied breathlessly. Steve threw both of us a mean glare. "What happened anyway?" I asked curiously.

"I hit the back of my head on the hood of the car." He explained grumpily.

Soda and I gave each other a look and bit back a laugh, before looking back at Steve.

"I hate you guys sometimes I really do," Steve mumbled.

"Oh come on Steve, this is what real friends do. We laugh at the pain that doesn't require a trip to the hospital." I defended playfully. "It's like that one time Soda slipped on that patch of ice. If I remember correctly you wouldn't stop laughing at him."

"That's different."

"How?" Soda asked incredulously.

"I wasn't the one that got hurt that time."

At that point, all three of us began to laugh at how ridiculous our conversation was. The front doorbell rang signaling someone had walked in. I turned my head to see Dally, his face was neutral it was hard to tell what he was feeling.

"Hey Dal," I greeted him sweetly.

His neutral looked became skeptical. "Surprised you even noticed I was here. I figured one of those two would offer you a pretty nice distraction."

"What is that supposed to mean?" My once humorous tone was tense, any ease that was in the room was overtaken by tension.

"Don't act dumb, you know exactly what I'm talking about." Despite how angry Dallas looked his tone remained cool and collected.

I began to grow angry at what he was alluding to, a slight pressure built up in my chest.

"Dallas can we not do this right now? I am at work if you haven't noticed." I tried to not come off as bothered but Dally saw through my act."

"Oh no please don't let me interrupt you from showing one of them a good time in the back there." Dallas hissed.

"Hey! Watch yourself. You don't talk to her like that." Steve warned, as much as he liked Dally he would never let anyone talk to me like that.

Dallas completely ignored him, his anger and frustrations were solely locked on me.

"Dallas I have never slept around on you or anyone else I was with. What can I not be friends with somebody of the opposite sex?" I asked sarcastically. I lowered myself down from the counter and stalked over to him.

Dallas didn't respond back to me, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Wow for someone who had a lot to say before he sure doesn't wanna talk now."

"Just forget it." He muttered. Dallas was begging to confuse me.

"Oh, I'm supposed to just drop the fact that you not only accused me of cheating on you but cheating on you with one of your friends? How many times do I have to fucking to tell you, I'm not Sylvia."

"Shut up." He began to grow tense again.

"No, I am not going to shut up. Stop punishing me for things that someone else did to you!" I could feel my face heat up in anger, adrenaline began to run through my blood.

"Stop pretending that you aren't screwing around on me!"

"Oh my god Dallas, I'm not pretending because I haven't! Do you know how many times I could've accused you of cheating on me? Do you think I can't see all the sleazy waitressed you hang on down at Bucks?"

Dallas scoffed, that was always something he did when he didn't know what to say. "Th-that's different."

"Bullshit Dally."

"Oh, c'mon Y/N you knew who I was before you got together with me." He spoke angrily as if that defended any of the stuff he was doing.

"And you knew who I was too... so you should know I wouldn't fucking to something like that to you." My heart began to fill with hurt, I thought he knew me more than he did. "You can hang off of sleazy girls all you want but if as so much as look in another man's vicinity you flip. "

Dally didn't say anything again but the look on his face said it all. I guess he didn't know me very well at all.

"God-" My breath stuttered interrupting my sentence. "It's just you against the world, isn't it? Dallas Winston can do no wrong, it's everyone else that's evil."

"Y/N-" His voice sounded bored of the argument now, he seemingly thought a simple get over it would solve everything.

"Save it, call me when you're done being a dick."

A/N: I don't know how to feel about this lol sorry if it sucks.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

ruined, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Why is there a mostly shirtless man in your bedroom and why is it Kim Namjoon's, your roommate's, fault? All you want to do is play League of Legends, not be visually attacked by ridiculously attractive Jeon Jungkook as his six friends perform living room karaoke at the top of their very drunk lungs.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; classic Namjoon ripping clothes; you don't have to know how to play LoL, I explain most of it; smut (fem reader, dirty talk, begging, scratching / marking, nipple play, edging / orgasm denial, handjob, (unintentional?) voyeurism, little bit of cum-eating, choking, cowgirl, cock warming); non-idol!BTS – purple-haired, kind-of-a-brat, sub!Jungkook x gamer, noona, dom!reader, ft OT6 being chaotic in the background XD

@yn-the-reader linked me in this and I was already writing about him. a prophet, maybe? XD

--

“WHY ARE YOU SHIRTLESS?”

You died.

Not literally, but also literally.

“Fuck!”

Now you had thirty-seven seconds of gray screen to figure out why the fuck Jeon Jungkook had busted into your bedroom on this cheerful night with his black dress shirt three-quarters of the way unbuttoned, revealing most of his – oh, sweet Satan, very muscular – pecs and the upper half of his abs. He was holding something in his hands, looking helpless and sad, while you were panic buying Liandry's Anguish and experiencing a special form of anguish yourself.

“Noona, um–”

That’s right, because you were in the middle of a League of Legends game, playing Cassiopeia, the Serpent’s Embrace, also known as half-snake lady or the lamia of the champion roster or a mean version of Monster Musume’s Miia (if you know, you know, and if you don’t, be glad you don’t). Your roommate was having friends over after going drinking. All this was fine and dandy with you, because you were going to spend all night wearing headphones and playing League of Legends, therefore ignoring the outside world, until the outside world came to bother you in the form of Kim Namjoon’s – your roommate’s – mostly shirtless friend Jeon Jungkook.

He wasn’t mostly shirtless most of the time, only right now.

“Noona, Namjoon-hyung ripped my shirt…” Jungkook whimpered hesitantly, chewing on his lip. He looked awkward and distraught despite his long dark purple hair giving him a rather fierce, bad-boy look.

Namjoon was a great roommate. He was smart, conversational, and insightful. A chat with him usually led to an enriching, open-minded perspective. He was relatively clean, considerate, communicative, nonjudgmental, fun to be around, and only set the kitchen on fire twice.

The second time was your fault.

You shouldn’t have let Namjoon in the kitchen the second time.

Also, Namjoon with his friends was a wildly chaotic time. All of his friends, especially drunk, were fucking nuts. Normally, they were probably relatively calm people (maybe not Kim Seokjin or Jung Hoseok, they were very excitable), but together they were a mess. You often wondered how they could function as a group.

Currently, however, you were trying to collect your brain cells as you had mere seconds before respawning onto the platform and were forced to play again. Timing in League of Legends was very important. Seconds can mess up wave management of minions and wave mismanagement can lead to game losses if you weren’t careful. The nuances of the game were often ignored by casual players.

You were, in short, a nerd about it.

“Fucking s-shit, what h-happened?” you sputtered out, turning back to your screen, unable to look at mostly shirtless Jungkook because he was MOSTLY SHIRTLESS. Honestly, he had quite nice pecs, and you should not be thinking about that, but it was incredibly distracting, just like how it used to be distracting when Namjoon was shirtless, but several years of living with him made you accustomed to his impressive pectoral muscles, to the point where you could joke about them with him.

But this was not Namjoon – this was his younger friend Jungkook and you had no idea Jungkook was ripped, mostly because you didn’t pay attention to Namjoon’s friends.

There were too many of them and you were too introverted for that.

“I don’t know, he just grabbed my shirt and it ripped and I managed to find all the buttons, but, but…”

Cassiopeia respawned on the platform and you couldn’t ignore the snake lady any longer. You had to play the game because four random people on your team were counting on you and you couldn’t exactly type, sorry, there’s a hot man in my room with his shirt practically off and I don’t know what to do with my life, so you had to suck it up and play the damn game.

Right-clicking and keeping your eyes only on your computer monitor.

Half-listening to that trembling, silvery voice coming up behind you, making your hairs stand on end even though all he was doing was dumping the tiny buttons on your desk.

Oh, fuck me, you thought to yourself.

“Can you repair it? Please? My mom bought me this shirt and Namjoon-hyung said you can sew, so maybe you can sew them back on? Please?”

“Yes, Jungkook, I can, just not right now, I’m in the middle of a game,” you rambled, suddenly trading damage with the enemy Viktor, trying to avoid the laser from the Machine Herald, swearing under your breath as you stutter-stepped and stunned him, poisoning him quickly enough with your abilities to avoid dying. “I will help you, I just – fucking shit, get the fuck away from me Udyr, fuck!”

“Wow, you curse a lot, noona. It’s kind of funny.”

“I – fuck– I mean, sometimes, and what are you guys doing out there? It sounds like a deranged cabaret club,” you remarked, ticking your head towards the direction of your bedroom door.

“Karaoke!” Jungkook replied brightly, still standing behind you, why was he standing behind you, it was freaking you out a little, but Ocean Dragon was being taken and a team fight was about to happen, so you had to ignore it and support your teammates in chasing down the enemy support.

Seokjin hit a high note that was so shrill that you heard it through your headphones.

“… Wow, he’s got some lungs on him.”

“Do you wanna join us, noona?”

“I can’t sing.”

“Neither can we.”

“Pretty sure all of you can sing better than I can, even Yoongi and Namjoon. I’m fucking terrible.”

“I’m not that good.”

You barely survived with thirty hit points after that debacle of a team fight, but your team had the dragon and you all were slowly on your way to victory. You pressed the ‘B’ key to return to base, but kept your eyes on the screen, lest Udyr, the Spirit Walker and serial bear stun-slapping enemy jungler, ran your ass down and killed you.

“Jungkook, your voice is absolutely heavenly. Fucking beautiful. I’m sure every human being on Earth would want to be serenaded by you.”

Silence that you didn’t notice was awkward for him because you were too busy letting out a sigh of relief and building your next item, typing quickly to your teammates. You all were about to set up for vision around Baron Nashor, a large purple worm-dragon monster that when killed provided a significant, sometimes game-ending buff.

“R… really?”

“Yeah, and you’re handsome, gorgeous, and hot as hell too, so the whole damn package,” you responded absentmindedly, realizing the enemy were trying to split-push and trade objectives so you sent some pings to your teammate to take care of that as you accompanied the main group to help clear waves of minions.

Heat.

You heard him shift beside you and suddenly his face was next to yours, watching your screen closely.

Side-step, cast your ultimate, cast your Miasma ability to ground the enemies and prevent them from dashing away, switching between auto-attacking and piercing them with Twin Fang, all in the span of a mild freak-out because why was Jungkook so FUCKING close?

“Wow, you’re so good at League.”

“I’m Diamond rank, so not that good, but definitely better than all seven of you combined.”

“Haha, true, we’re all pretty bad,” Jungkook laughed next to your ear and, oh, shit, is warm breath feathered on your neck, why weren’t you wearing a turtleneck or something and not your self-cropped oversized band t-shirt and slinky black leggings, why weren’t you cocooned in layers of clothes, because you were quickly highly aware of how attractive Namjoon’s friends were.

To top it all off, you were in the middle of a game, so you just had to tolerate it and stay calm for the sake of your teammates and your elo.

“Maybe you could teach us and we’ll teach you something in return.”

“You guys don’t even listen to each other, why would I assume you all would listen to me?”

“I’d listen to you, noona.”

Now your team was doing the Baron dance, skirting in and out of vision, daring the other team to make a move, daring each other to make a mistake so the other could capitalize on it, slowly, slowly, watch the waves, watch the minimap. Careful. You could control the situation if you were calm and not too trigger-happy. Tension in your fingers and tension in your neck because your roommate’s friend was right next to your head, observing your every move.

His violet hair brushed your shoulder.

Soft, delicate strands against your skin.

“You’re more experienced, so you would know what to do.”

Your support snap-engaged a fight and you were immediately in the zone, right clicking rapidly, cycling through your abilities, keeping track of the opponents’ spells, determined not to let any of them get away, following your teammate’s calls and not hesitating, because hesitation as death and loss, and you were so close to winning you could taste it, going after it with passionate vigor and a slow-forming grin, seeing and hearing the in-game announcer declaring, QUADRA KILL.

You didn’t kill all five of them because someone took the pentakill from you.

You might have cared about that except your ear exploded into clapping as Jungkook excitedly applauded for you, cheering you on, reminding you that a mostly shirtless man was standing right next to you.

Thanks, Namjoon, you thought sarcastically.

“Wow, you played that so well, dodging the Viktor ult and stunning three people like that–”

You felt your cheeks heat at the compliments, busying yourself with your team killing Baron. You didn’t usually have someone commenting on your games. Your eyes flickered to the small buttons on your desk.

Especially not a mostly shirtless guy.

Mostly shirtless hot guy.

Back to screen, seeing your jungler’s typed instructions, suggesting you all to destroy as many structures as you could and then prepare for the next fight for Ocean Dragon Soul and – oh? Your eyebrows raised as the screen abruptly jerked to the enemy base, the nexus inside exploding into shiny gem-like fragments that became the VICTORY banner.

“They surrendered?” you uttered with surprise, clicking on the CONTINUE button. “Why?”

Your eyes flickered to the kill score.

“Oh, thirty-two to nine… maybe that’s why….”

Your team had the nine deaths and the opponent team had thirty-two so, well, maybe that’s why they surrendered the game.

“Aw, that’s no fun,” Jungkook pouted as you clicked on the damage screen. Second most damage. Okay, you could take that. You were a little distracted.

“So, about your problem–”

You spun around to, ack, realize that, yes, Jungkook’s shirt was still flapped wide open to expose his chest like an unwrapped piece of caramel candy. He seemed to realize it too, making a surprised face and yanking the sides closed, as if you hadn’t gotten a damn eyeful already.

“I can resew the buttons back on, but you should borrow a shirt from Namjoon in the meantime,” you managed to say, clearing your throat. “Because I, ah, can’t really sew it when you’re still wearing the shirt.”

“Oh… Oh, right, yeah.”

Then he started yanking his shirt out of his slacks.

UMMMMMMM.

Usually, you didn’t care about this stuff. Men were men. They had chests. But you had things you liked too. Just like how men like tits and ass, you liked well-built pecs and forearms. Actually, you appreciated a nice ass and thighs too. And cute faces. Fuck, you loved a cute face.

“Uh, Jungkook…”

He looked up, questioningly. Big round brown eyes, his violet bangs framing his chiseled jaw, parted pink lips, the small mole underneath his lower lip looking so, so kissable, quivering slightly.

Fuck, Jungkook had a cute face.

His shirt was very open.

Fuck, his lightly tanned skin.

He was hesitating around a button, his deft fingers flexed, ink black tattoos standing out on his knuckles and the back of his hand. Your legs were slightly spread, thighs flush to your gaming chair. Half a second and Jungkook’s eyes flickered back up to your face, pretending he hadn’t been looking.

You raised your eyebrows.

“Are you really just gonna strip in my room and walk out asking Namjoon for a shirt and hope none of the six guys think anything about it?”

His eyes shifted around your room. Bed with black sheets and black velvet duvet. Television with your gaming consoles. Your collection of character figurines from various games. Your black denim jacket hanging on a hook, covered in monotone patches that you had sewn yourself, mostly occult-themed, skeletons, skulls, cats, ghosts, potions, eyeballs, that kind of thing. Back to your desk.

Your legs.

Really staring at your thighs, hips, and crotch.

Up your torso, your hands, your exposed collarbones.

Your face.

Guarding his expression, testing the waters.

“Maybe,” Jungkook said slowly. His eyes darted away and back, teeth catching his lower lip. “I really am hoping you can fix my shirt.”

You watched his face carefully, the flare of darkness in those brown orbs, a hint of naughtiness, dancing with danger. Jungkook had a mischievous streak. You could tell by the way he interacted with his hyungs, listening but talking back, helping them with things but not without a roll of his eyes or a smart remark added, probably because all his friends were older and he was the youngest. He knew he could get away with it.

In short.

Brat.

“What would you like in return, noona?” Jungkook purred, smile dancing on his lips.

Honorifics were supposed to honor you. Show a sign of respect and all that shit.

All I wanted to do was play video games, you grumbled internally. Not suddenly have a thirst fest for one of Namjoon’s best friends. You narrowed your eyes a little, seeing the smirk on that perfectly shaped mouth. He’s not stopping either.

Outside your room, something fell with a loud crash. Probably Namjoon by the depth of that startled yelp. Everyone else started laughing and a very loud, cheerful melody was blasting from the living room television. Nobody was coming to investigate you and Jungkook.

Yet.

“Turn around and ask for a shirt,” you sighed, waving a hand. “Then take off your shirt in the bathroom and then, only then, do you come back and give me your dress shirt.”

You saw Jungkook frown, not expecting that as your answer.

“Oh. Okay.”

He seemed disappointed, lowering his hands.

The silky fabric of the dress shirt slid off his right shoulder, partly revealing his tattoo sleeve and fully revealing his right collarbone and shoulder.

You sucked in a breath, eyes flickering to it. Then his face. Then back to his body. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Jungkook jumped, startled by the fallen fabric and reached over to grab the fallen collar. Your hand moved faster than you had time to think. You had good reaction time. It was the gaming obsession.

You slapped his hand down.

Jungkook squeaked, head snapping up, purple hair floating around him, gold chain on his neck glittering as he swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. Strangely, his chain resembled your sterling silver choker that you were wearing right now, except you also wore another necklace with a circular white gold pendant with your zodiac sign.

Not that anyone was ever close enough to inspect it.

“N-Noona?” he breathed, sounding strangely winded.

Shit.

You hadn’t meant to do that. Your body reacted faster than your head.

Shit.

Fuck, he had a nice body. His pecs. Even had a nice dark nipple – well, he probably had two, but you could only see one at the moment – and it all trimmed down to a slim waist and shapely hips. You could tell because of his tailored black slacks. He had been wearing a blazer earlier in the evening too. It was probably on a chair somewhere in the apartment.

Shit.

What did Jungkook need to look so damn good for?

“Where did you guys go to be dressed like that?”

Yes, you were really just going to interrogate him with his shirt dangling off like that.

Jungkook chewed on his lower lip, the tiny mole underneath bouncing up and down as he spoke. “We went to a fancy hotel rooftop bar to celebrate Yoongi-hyung’s award that he won at the music show for producing that song–”

“Ah, right, Namjoon mentioned that earlier today.” Dress code must have been black tie.

Those dark brown eyes found yours, observing you carefully.

“I would have liked to see you there, noona.”

You stopped staring at the tattoos on his bicep and made eye contact. Fuck. Those eyes. Sparkling with deviousness. Trying to see how far he could push your buttons.

“I wonder what kind of dress would you have worn?” he murmured, musing to himself. “I bet you would have looked hotter than any girl there.” Jungkook smiled, playful and boyish. He wasn’t being sleazy about it. Every word was light and honest. “A tight little black dress? Maybe bright red? Short, because you have incredible legs. It would be a crime not to show them off.” He was only complimenting you. His tone wasn’t trying to be suggestive.

Yet.

You didn’t close your legs. You had nothing to be shy about.

Instead, you leaned back in your gaming chair as if it was a throne, resting your left elbow on the armrest and your chin on two fingers, thighs wide open, and your other hand in between them, fingers curled inward to your inner thigh.

Jungkook’s pink lips curved ever higher, ever more roguish.

“Whatever you would have chosen, you would have looked so, so sexy.”

You ticked your head.

“I know.”

Because you did.

Look here, Jeon Jungkook, I’m here minding my own damn business and you’re here inserting yourself into my life, so if you can’t handle me knowing my self-worth, you can fuck right off.

He reached up and tucked a bit of his purple hair behind his right ear, grinning at you.

“You sure you don’t want anything from me?” he asked, a slight flicker of pink tongue between white teeth. “I can give first and then you can decide whether or not you want to help.”

Honestly, those sultry eyes could stop a heart.

You removed your hand from your chin, tapping the air with those two fingers in a dismissive manner.

“Hm.”

Outside, Kim Taehyung and Jung Hoseok were singing a soulful duet and Park Jimin was hooting at inappropriate moments to ruin the atmosphere as much as possible. That raspy, breathless laugh was Min Yoongi, who was probably doubled over on the floor in his expensive suit. Classic genius music producer of the year behavior right there.

Jungkook tucked his hands in his pockets, shirt sleeve falling down, revealing his blacked-out inner elbow. Mountains with a dark sky. It must have hurt, doing something like that. Still, he did it. For aesthetics?

You heard the smirk rather than seeing it, mostly because you were looking at his body.

“I would look so damn good on you, noona.”

Alright.

You closed your eyes slowly and reopened them to look directly into those dangerous, dangerous eyes.

“Lock the door.”

Not really an order. More of a statement. Jungkook could do it or not, you knew. He couldn’t be coerced to do anything. He did things because he wanted to do them. He was nice because he wanted to be nice. He was childish when he wanted to be childish.

And.

Jungkook was obedient when he wanted to be obedient.

He turned around, went to your bedroom door, and locked it.

Well then.

He came back and stood in front of you. A little closer now.

You cocked an eyebrow. “They’re going to come looking for you.”

Jungkook smiled down at you. “I’m sure they will.”

You frowned, lowering your hand to tap the end of the armrest. “They’re going to think I started this.”

“You kind of did.”

Your eyes narrowed sharply. He grinned, taking a step closer.

“Because it’s not my fault you look so good,” Jungkook breathed, voice deepening, leaning down, your expression unchanging, not pulling back but not encouraging anything either. “Not my fault your body is hotter than a summer. Not my fault your confidence is the biggest turn-on I’ve ever had in my life.”

Your thighs were still as open as his shirt.

Jungkook put his knee in between them.

His dress shirt was basically almost completely off his body now, falling off the left shoulder too and dangling off his forearms, exposed collarbones and shoulders, tan skin taut over muscle. A delicious body line, so fucking close to you that you could feel the heat. You still didn’t do anything. You weren’t going to do anything. You didn’t prompt this. You were simply minding your own business commanding a snake lady to victory, not expecting to get seduced by a mischievous bunny-like smile and a tiny black mole under a cute pout.

“I can’t help myself around you.”

You usually didn’t say more to Namjoon’s friends than a mere hello, not wanting to bother them with your presence. They were all men after all. You expected them to want bro time or whatever. Also, you were too busy being obsessed with men that didn’t exist in real life to pursue men that did exist in real life.

At least League of Legends had 3D models so no one could say you lived only the 2D lifestyle.

That didn’t mean that you didn’t partake when the dinner laid themselves out to be eaten. They often had to, because you wouldn’t pay attention otherwise.

Purple hair drifted into your vision, surrounding you in a curtain of violet and dark brown eyes, warm exhale and trembling pink lips, trapping you in Jungkook’s gaze, but you refused to relent, keeping your gaze even. Steady breaths to disguise your racing heart.

You kept your hands closed to prevent him from seeing your shaking fingers.

“Every time I see you, I want you to touch me,” he whispered, trying to hide the edge of nervousness by lowering his voice, enticing you to lean in to hear him better because someone was wiping a damn window in the living room outside your door or was that Kim Seokjin laughing?

There was no difference.

Jungkook’s forehead touched yours and you stopped thinking about Seokjin.

“I just want you to feel me up, rip my clothes off, and fuck me until I can’t think straight. Use me, abuse me, wreck me, ruin me,” he shuddered, definitely thinking about it, and one blink and you spied the obvious tent in his pants.

“Maybe I’m a lazy girl,” you finally said, touching your nose to his, inhaling his breath, a little bit of alcohol, a little bit of fruitiness, and that hint of cologne, fresh, clean, and intense. Something else too. Musk, maybe his pheromones or something like that. Whatever it was smelled fucking delicious, just like you. What did your perfume smell like? Spiced fire blended with addictive sweetness.

You shrugged casually.

“Maybe I’m a pillow princess.”

Jungkook chuckled.

“I can tell you’re not.”

You had to smirk.

Of course, you weren’t.

You closed your thighs around his knee and squeezed, raising to your tiptoes. He gasped softly, shivering at the simple touch of your soft thighs pressing around his muscular leg. It was disturbingly noisy out there, but here it was silent, pared down to your breathing and Jungkook’s breathing, mixing together, blazingly hot, closer, closer, doing the careful dance, daring each other to make the move that was so obviously going to happen.

“What are you gonna say when they ask you where you’ve been all this time?” you whispered, avoiding letting your lips brush against his.

“The truth.”

His tongue flickered out and barely touched your lips.

You didn’t make a sound.

Jungkook moaned, the sound drifting into your throat, and you could taste his desire.

“I tripped and fell into your lap.”

Your lips curved into a smirk.

He kissed you.

His hands on the armrests of your rolling chair, pushing it back into your desk, pressing his lips to yours, inhaling deeply, wanting to breathe you, wanting to taste you, wanting you, shivering as you finally touched him with your hands, but this was you, and your first touch wasn’t going to be wasted on a conventional innocent touch.

Your fingers closed in on his rock-hard erection and stroked him through his pants.

Jungkook moaned your name right in your mouth, eyes half-lidded, his violet hair encircling your face as he rolled his hips into your palm, whining deep in his chest.

“Fuck, yes, noona, play with me…”

You flitted your tongue between his lips and he chased it, begging you for more, and yet you continued to tease, light flicks between those soft pillows, nipping at them, even pushing up his lower lip so the tip of your tongue could draw a small heart around that mole, kissing it, so gentle, so delicate. His entire body shook, your hand palming his hardness through his pants, nails scraping against his balls, caressing all of it, acting like you owned it. Jungkook was certainly humping your hand like you did.

“You only want me because I didn’t want you,” you taunted, not bothering to hide your smirk and your slight disapproval.

“That’s not true,” he panted, attempting to get you to touch his chest, pushing you back into your chair, and yet you kept the fingers of your free hand on the cusp of what he wanted, heat close but no contact, causing him to whimper every time your fingernails barely nicked his skin. “I want you because you’re pretty, gorgeous, and hot as hell.”

Hm, that sounded familiar.

“I want you because I love watching you play your favorite games,” he chuckled, kissing the side of your lips, nose to nose. “I want you because I love that little smirk you make when you do something good. I want you because I love that aggressiveness that comes out and how you seem to lose your filter. Shit, it’s so fucking hot when you’re focused. Makes me wanna see your face when you’re pinning me down and having your way with me. Makes me want to obey you and disobey you at the same time, because I want you to reward me and punish me, I just can’t decide, fuck, you make life so hard for me.”

He punctuated hard by violently humping your hand, rattling your desk with his force.

Outside you heard Namjoon yelling “CANNONBALL” and throwing himself onto that giant gray furry beanbag you paid far too much for about six months ago. It was now a household party favorite, due to its massive size and fluffiness. At the moment, it sounded like a pile of six guys in semi-formal clothing was beginning and, instead of watching this heap of hot dudes being constructed, you were making out with the seventh guy’s face and grabbing his dick.

You’ll take this trade.

You felt Jungkook’s hands groping around, undoing his pants and the zipper, trying to get you to touch more, more, desperate for you to be all over him.

“P-Please… please, I don’t know when they’re going to notice…” he pleaded. “You’re so close, so close, ah, I can’t think, please…”

“Shh…” you soothed. “The door is locked.”

Your fingertips finally touched his chest, not disappointed in the slightest when you touched those delicious-looking pecs. They felt just as nice under your palm, his pounding heart and wanton moan vibrating up your arm.

“Aren’t you a needy little brat trying to distract me from my games, hm?”

Your fingertips hooked over the waistband of his boxer briefs.

“You’re going to have to face the consequences, Jungkook.”

You said his name like a delicious sweet about to be eaten, growl in your throat as you yanked down his underwear, capturing his lips, robbing him of his cries as you clawed down his chest, grasping his cock and pumping him, long, complete strokes from base to tip, curling your fingers around his balls, juggling them with your fingers teasingly as he squirmed and groaned. Your free arm shot around his back, digging your nails into his spine, not letting him get away. His black dress shirt was falling, falling to your floor, his bluish-purple hair in your face and his strong hands on your shoulders, sliding down, kneading your breasts through your clothes, whining that you were still wearing a bra – of course, you were, six dudes were coming over and they didn’t need to see your magnificent nipples on display, although clearly one of them wanted to see – and he was trying to get to the hem of your shirt, but you smacked his hands away, building the pressure and speed, pre-cum leaking between your fingers and adding slickness to lessen the dry friction.

Fuck, you could smell him and he smelled so fucking good.

“Noona, please…” Jungkook gasped, hands on the armrests of your chair, tipping his head back at the pleasure, pants at his fucking knees, chest, crotch, thighs on display. “This is… embarrassing…”

He meant him being mostly naked and you being dressed.

You shrugged, acting indifferent. “Not for me.”

He whimpered at your words, so noticeably dominant despite not using an aggressive or commanding tone. Either that or he was very invested in you jacking him off. You suspected it was a combination of the two, considering how eagerly his cock twitched when you answered.

“What should I do, Jungkook? Should I let you cum? Or should I play with you and stop, make you put your clothes back on and walk out there, desperate to be finished off?” you mused aloud, running your nails up his back, not that hard, but he leaned back into it so they sank into him, wordlessly begging you to do it harder, so you did, setting your jaw and scratching at his back, forcing him back into position. His cock throbbed in your hand, pulsating wildly.

Hm, he really loved it, huh.

“P-Please… wanna cum, please don’t be mean…” he gasped, thrusting his hips into your punishingly tight grip.

“Hm, why does it matter? You’ll just run to the bathroom and finish yourself off anyway, right?”

“Want you to do it, please,” he begged, his long hair curling around his jaw, dark purple locks framing the sharpness, lashes fluttering as you rubbed your thumb against the underside of the head, smearing pre-cum over the slit. “Your hand feels so good, so fucking good, better than I thought, please, I need you to touch me or I can’t get off, please…”

You removed your hand.

Jungkook cried out in denied despair, pitch hiking, the sinful sound clearly audible despite the debaucherously loud ruckus outside your bedroom door that included not one, but two people howling like werewolves for some unknown reason. At this point, you were mildly curious.

But you had a job to do.

He grabbed the front of your shirt, almost sobbing with need. Somehow his violet hair was a mess and you hadn’t even touched it. It cascaded over one of his eyes, an indigo curtain, the other chocolate orb shaking and pupil dilated, black prominent in the dark brown.

“Please don’t–”

You shoved two fingers from your right hand into that pleading mouth and raised your left.

He choked, gagging a little on your fingers.

You stuck your tongue out and licked your palm, slathering it with a thick layer of slick saliva.

Jungkook’s eyes widened at the dirty action and then rolled back into his head as you wrapped your hand around his aching cock once more, now covered in saliva, swiftly and fervently jacking him off, hard, fast, tight, nearly choking his cock, pushing his chin up and his chest to your hungry mouth, tongue and teeth and lips, all over those dark nipples hardening under your persistent touch, heedless to his rising moans, so very obvious now what was happening in your bedroom.

It didn’t bother you at all. Jungkook walked in here and asked you to wreck and ruin him, so you did exactly what he asked you to do, leaving harsh bite marks and slippery saliva all over his soft skin, your perfume rubbing off onto his body, coating his chest in your scent and his pulsating thick length with your spit, and he was so fucking hard that you were impressed, feeling his mouth suck on your fingers desperately and wetly, your name a messy garble above your head.

“Fuck, yes, umpf, oh fuck, I’m so close, so close, gonna cum, goona cum for you…!”

“Jungkook?”

You had no idea who called his name through your door, because the next second Jungkook was pitching forward and shooting his cum up your thigh and chest, thick white strings painting your leggings and band t-shirt, soaking into the fabric and creating a sticky mess on your skin, your head lifting in response to his movement to avoid knocking into him, your fingers sliding out of his lips, strings of saliva snapping as they left, and suddenly Jungkook’s face was in your face, his lips on yours in a passionate kiss, rutting into your hand to increase the sensitivity, shoulders and hips flinching, whimpering gratitude and ecstasy into your mouth, his hands in your hair, kissing you deeper, more ravenously, ignoring the questioning voices, lost in the pleasure of his orgasm.

You heard Namjoon say outside your door, “I think he made his move.”

You asshole, at least warn me, you thought irritably.

“You’re so good… so good, exactly what I need… I knew you would be… fuck…”

You thrust your tongue into his lips once and backed off, chuckling as he whined for more.

“Go ask for a shirt.”

Jungkook shook his head rapidly, violet hair flying everywhere. Your hand was still wrapped around his semi-hard cock, his cum dripping onto your wrist. His ears were turning red.

“I can’t… They know something is going on…” he mumbled, scooting closer to you, as if your body heat could somehow mask the fact that you just jacked him off with six of his friends standing outside your bedroom door whispering.

“Maybe you wanted them to know.”

You squeezed his ass and he trembled, clutching your shoulders.

“Easy way to tell them that you want to be owned by me, right?”

You could tell by the way his eyes were darting around rapidly that the thought crossed his mind more than once.

“Jungkook.”

You said it loud enough for a keen ear to hear it if they were really eavesdropping. You looked up at Jungkook, his eyes immediately fixating on yours because of your tone.

In control, not to be questioned.

“Get on your knees.”

Dead silence outside your bedroom.

“B… but…”

His cheeks flushed pink.

You took his chin and pulled him down to your face, murmuring to that mole under his lips, pecking it daintily, almost innocently, his wispy moan drifting over your nose. Your words were barely above a whisper, only for him.

“You made a mess. Clean it up.”

You stroked Jungkook’s chin with your thumb, your other hand tucking his long hair behind his ear.

“I’ll let you sleep in my bed tonight, so be a good boy for me right now and I’ll let you be a bad boy in bed.”

His head tilted and Jungkook whispered your name into your mouth, drenched with desire.

You smirked, stroking his jaw fondly.

He got to his knees, in between your open thighs, leaning forward, subservient eyes on your face as his pink tongue extended, licking at his own cum staining your clothes, eyes closing at your hand on the top of his head, not directing the movement, but reminding him who was in charge here, reminding him with nails in his scalp that he was going to be fucked until he couldn’t think straight.

Used, abused, wrecked, ruined.

-

“I don’t wanna.”

“We both know you do.”

“But I want to fuck you,” Jungkook protested, speaking softly because everyone was sleeping, or at least it seemed that way, not that either you or Jungkook cared, because you were forcing him to his knees on your bed, pushing his torso back, nails digging into his chest, towering over him, his naked body already covered in your bites and scratches, focused on his inner thighs and chest, none on his neck because that’s where he wanted it the most.

And you knew it.

“Noona, please…”

He said please a lot for someone who did not, in fact, want to be pleased, but tortured.

You grabbed him by the chin, cocking an eyebrow.

His hands were behind him, arms shaking as they held him up, shivering delightfully under your petrifying gaze.

“Please what? Hm? Saying please when you come crawling into my room, begging for dirty things with your friends right outside, saying please when you interrupt me and distract me, jeopardizing my chances to win my game?”

You leaned in close, you knowing you were only crafting a scene, him knowing that you didn’t actually care, but Jungkook wanted to hear the words, wanted you to put that malice in your tone to caress his ears, wanted you to cannibalize his sanity and put him in a different headspace, his cock already responding to it, bobbing in the air, purple-red and achingly hard from multiple orgasms, and he still wanted more.

“Saying please so you can say please when you’re under me, helplessly begging me to let you cum?”

You could hear his whines vibrating under your fingertips, pupils blown wide, lower lip trembling, begging you already, such a needy little thing, those lovely brown eyes full of submission, muscles tense with anticipation, every passing second spiraling him into increased frustration, because instead of doing anything, you were only smirking wider and wider, pushing his head back.

“Well? Tell me if you’re a dirty boy or not. Maybe I’ll do what you want.”

His violet hair cascaded to his shoulder blades, his low moan coursing through your fingertips and the heated air of your bedroom.

“Y… Yes, I’m a d-dirty boy…”

“Noona,” you prompted.

Just because you could.

His lips curved into an open smile, two of your fingers hooked over his lower lip, fingertips rubbing his tongue. Your thumb nail pressed into his mole.

“Noona.”

You ripped the condom open with your teeth, which was not advisable unless you were the kind of person that practiced that for hours on end, spending an obscene amount of money on unused condoms to perfect your technique, because nobody wants a broken condom or lube in their teeth. Why would you want to learn such a thing? You were a stickler for details. A perfectionist in perfecting a perfect display of raw dominance.

You spat out the torn corner onto Jungkook’s chest and he whimpered, unashamedly amazed.

Your left hand removed the condom from the package and your right slid out of his mouth and encircled his neck.

You inspected the condom, lazily turning it to the correct position, fingers pressed to the sides of his neck, leaving plenty of space for his trachea between your thumb and forefinger. You didn’t bother looking at his face. Instead, you spread your legs, poised and naked over him and his throbbing cock.

Your right hand started choking him.

Your left hand started rolling the condom down his thick, hard length.

Your name leaked out of his lips in a thin gurgle, his eyes rolling back into his head.

“Say please, Jungkook.”

A sharp, distinct order.

“P… Please…” he gasped out, chest shuddering.

Your hand tightened around his throat and your pussy clenched around his cock as you forced yourself down on him.

“Oh, fuuuuuuuck…”

You didn’t bother asking if he liked it. His vicious fisting of your sheets and trembling body, cries and cock included, told you everything you needed to know. You only watched the color of his cheeks, knowing there were limits to how long you could choke him. Therefore there was no time to be wasted, already starting your favorite pace, rough and hard, filling yourself with that delicious cock built to take your abuse, jaw set, gripping his throat, blood pounding under your fingertips, slapping hips to crotch, heat sparking though your veins, hotter, hotter, your smirk growing more and more smug, tongue tracing your lips as you witnessed Jungkook’s descent into sin, raising his head so he could watch you bounce on his cock with hazed brown orbs, mouth open, tongue lolling out, circulation thinning, purple hair wild around that cute, distressed face.

You let up the pressure on his neck, dark snicker rumbling in your chest.

“This pussy worth it, brat?”

The rush of missing blood into his brain, the suffocating pleasure of your pulsating walls wrapped around his twitching cock, your authoritative growl and merciless words tearing through him – you saw it all taking over Jungkook, forced to respond honestly from pure instinct because there was no time to compile pretty words or a smart comeback.

“Yes, noona, yes, I love it, I love it, this brat fucking loves what you do to him…”

You immediately choked him again and slapped your pussy onto his cock like you were whipping him.

His eyes rolled back and a wild moan tore out of his chest, cut off by your hand.

The bed creaked under you, bearing the weight of your roughness.

“I know you love it,” you snarled, leaning in, fucking him into your bed with vigor, straining his knees, so uncomfortable and so comfortable for him at the same time, pain and pleasure, clearly something he craved and loved from how hard he was. “You said you need me to touch you or you can’t get off.”

You knew that couldn’t be true.

Jungkook probably got off hundreds of times thinking about you, otherwise he wouldn’t be so ecstatic about you violently riding his dick right now.

His teeth sank into his swollen lower lip, staring at you through his lashes, his voice a thin whisper laced with insatiable need.

“I can’t cum without you anymore.”

You removed your hand.

Your hips stopped abruptly, fulling sheathing his cock inside you.

“No!”

His shout was so loud and desperate that you had to conceal your surprise, not expecting the frantic ferocity of his tone, nearly an agonized sob as he grabbed your upper arms in a crushing grip, his indigo locks crashing into his high cheekbones, sticking to his sweaty face and sharp jaw. It took everything in you to stay calm, everything to not give in and let him have what he wanted. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was knowing the role you were playing, maybe it was the sadistic side of you, who the fuck knew, but there was only a beat of hesitation, a second of you staring into those beautiful dark brown eyes, so perfect.

Just perfect.

Perfectly wrecked, willing to do anything in this moment for you to continue.

Before he could utter a peep of a plea, you shook out of his grip and seized his head, crashing his lips onto your neck.

Jungkook bit you.

Instant, searing pain, taking out all his sexual frustration on your neck, sucking at the skin, hot tongue lapping, groaning, moaning, half-crying because you didn’t move. You just sat on his dick and forced his mouth onto your neck, gleefully savoring his despair, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to feel the pleasure, his hands and nails digging into your waist, his teeth latched to the side of your throat, his stiff cock shuddering inside you, your tight heat keeping him hard but not letting him cum, repeatedly squeezing the engorged head brutally, driving him insane.

Insane.

You could feel his lips move, but you muffled his words, pushing his head into your neck.

Please.

Deep inhale, his wonderful scent filling your nose.

Please.

Riding the high that was Jungkook’s desire for you, fingers tangled into violet strands.

Please.

He felt so, so good, spoon-feeding the dom in you with his tiny whimpers and distraught sniffles.

“P… Please…”

You pressed your lips to his hair, murmuring his name sweetly.

“Jungkook.”

No quiver to your tone, only serene calm.

“Noona…”

His hands slid up your back as your hips began to rock, slow, so painfully slow, building the frenzy layer by layer, his hardness swelling inside you, his soft lips pressed to his hickey onto your neck, even more turned on because he knew you let him mark you, he knew in this moment you were his and only his, everything he wanted and more, his hips rising to meet yours, deepening your thrusts, matching your force, burying his face into your skin and your scent, wanting nothing more than your command over his body.

You turned his head, tucking his hair behind one ear, speaking dark whispers into that curve.

“You look the best when on your knees for me, Jungkook.”

He shivered, your name falling sloppily from his lips, drunk from your power and lost in his service.

You let go of his head and grabbed his shoulders instead, putting all of your weight onto him, now letting yourself chase it, chase the orgasm that you had been building for yourself all this time, letting yourself feel Jungkook and feel the full force of the pleasure he gave you, because, yes, of course, you served him first before you, even if it didn’t seem like it.

Because when it came down to it, Jungkook came to you, opening himself petal by petal to show you his vulnerable side, testing the waters, hoping, wishing, praying that maybe, just maybe, you were the kind of person that he was expecting, wanting, needing, and you, knowing how difficult that was because, well, you had made it difficult, only focusing on games and not on those longing eyes that watched you whenever you came into his view.

Eyes that you looked into now.

Half-lidded, glazed over, fucked-out, still honest.

His large hands were still on your waist, holding you to him as you rode him with furious slaps, muscles flexed in his chest and arms, tattoos on his right arm tense and taut from holding this position for so long. He looked so good. Felt so good. Had an amazing cock.

And fuck.

Jungkook had a cute face.

You genuinely smiled.

“I’ll take care of everything,” you drawled, injecting your words with conviction and adoration.

That did it.

His lips parted, low groan emitting from his throat as his head tipped back, purple waterfalling onto his back, thrusting up into you and shooting into the condom with fierce jolts, unable to hold back any longer, his entire length flinching uncontrollably, sweet whimpers at his release, feeling sorry that he didn’t let you cum first, but that didn’t matter, because you rode through it, already there, falling, falling, your sigh like laden smoke as your orgasm slammed into you, welcoming the bolts of cruel pulses flying through you, concentrated onto your core, Jungkook’s moans hiking into pitched ecstasy at the convulsing clenches of his oversensitive, overused cock, arms embracing you tightly, hugging you for dear life, chest to chest, pounding heart against yours.

Your fingers tangled into his hair.

His hand fitted around your head.

Lips to lips and you took care of everything, claiming that mouth as yours, holding him up even though you were the one in his lap, your kiss onto that perfect mole under that pretty pout, cherishing every mumble of your name, lowering him onto your pillows, soft kisses in between. You took care of everything, lifting yourself off him, chuckling as he whined, pawing for you to come back, but you rapped his knuckles and calmed him, removing the condom and cleaning him off gently with a towel, soft kisses in between because he wanted the attention, deliberately not closing his eyes until you crawled back into the bed, tucking the covers around you and him, Jungkook immediately turning and yanking you into his chest, nose against your skin.

“Who’s the pillow princess?” you teased, ruffling his long violet locks.

His lips pressed onto your hickey, his mark on you, and he sighed in content, drifting into sleep.

-

In the morning, you found a pile of five guys in the living room sleeping in various positions on the giant gray furry beanbag and the sofa. Jungkook was in your bed, passed out. The last guy, Min Yoongi, was in Kim Namjoon’s room, sleeping on his bed, because he was a smart man and took advantage of a perfectly good bed that five drunk hooligans undoubtedly forgot about.

You chuckled and rubbed your neck as you brushed your teeth, seeing yourself and the large purple hickey Jungkook had made last night in the bathroom mirror.

You went back to your room after retrieving the sewing basket from the living room, spending the morning calmly stitching the small buttons back onto his black dress shirt as the seven guys in your apartment continued to snore away.

Then you went back to playing League of Legends.

Ah, Cassiopeia, I had an eventful evening, but I have returned to you.

-

drabble morning-after hungover breakfast

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masterpost