#and while he's staring at it
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coloursofaparadox · 1 year ago
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lil rant about dog training oops
#so. my 80lb gangly-ass dog is a gigantic baby for any kind of grooming or healthcare stuff.#and he was only getting more and more frantic the more i tried to get him used to it#doing it on the couch when hes sleepy? nope. starts frantically flailing around and panting wildiy#trying to introduce it slowly? nope. trying to distract him with lots of treats/a lick mat of peanut butter? nope#and this dog is prone to ear gunk and eye gunk :((((#ive had to essentially pin him a couple times for his own good to give him eye drops for an eye infection#and i felt so bad about it both times and he was panicking but like. fuck.#so. before that happens again. ive been working with him on co-operative care.#which for me looks like putting a treat on a face height chair#and while he's staring at it#ill slowly in very small stages introduce whatever i need to do (ear wipe ear drops eye drops nail trim etc)#and frequently every time i make progress#like he lets me tap his nail with the clippers or lets me get the eye dropper close to his eye without flinching#i say 'okay!' and let him eat the treat he has a couple inches from his snoot#and replace it#and repeat making as much progress each time as he'll let me#whenever he needs to take a break and its too much for him he'll back up and lie down#and i take that as a cue to put down my tools and wait#and sure enough. eventually he'll get back up and be ready to go again#its a huge time sink but honestly still so much easier than wrestling a squirming freaking out dog who's nearly as big as me#and absolutely zero panic attack level freakouts on his end that end with him stress panting for like half an hour after#using this i managed to get him to let me to wipe out his ears entirely within like 15 minutes#and same with eye drops which is HUGE because he fucking hates eye drops#like. he voluntarily stood there and let me do it. zero holding or forcing he just stands there and lets me.#anyways. idk what my point is other than despite this taking a lot of patience on my part this is so so much less stressful for both of us#and is going to create much much better habits in the long run and isnt going to create a dog who is insanely fear reactive at the groomers#and also also fuck my ex who insisted that it took too long and wasnt worth it and as long as we had two people to hold our first dog down#it didnt matter if she was panicking bc we could just overpower her#idk. dogs will do a lot for you if you just put the smallest amount of effort into working with them.#lucas the land seal
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machveil · 2 months ago
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Roommate!Simon Riley that looks at you and his heart squeezes, beats against his chest until it nearly hurts. something about seeing you in the morning makes something click in his brain - your hair messy and a little matted, soft pillow lines on your cheek, eyes half lidded and groggy. it makes him feel off, a sensation that makes his jaw clench. he wants to nip and bite at you, squeeze you, hold you tight and never let go. he’s not familiar with cuteness aggression, hasn’t heard of it and is unfortunately unaware
Roommate!Simon Riley that thinks something is wrong. he likes you so damn much, why does he want to nearly maul you every time he sees you? it gets him worked up when he sees you lounging on the couch in ratty clothes, an old pair of shorts and a stained hoodie. cute. his teeth are itching to just bite at you, fingers twitchy with the need to paw at you. that’s not normal, right? isn’t he supposed to see you and want to hold you gently? act soft and mushy like a normal coupl—? well, you aren’t a couple. he doesn’t know where this is coming from, but he only has one way to work it off
Roommate!Simon Riley that’s been nailing the same punching bag for over an hour. his knuckles are numb at this point, sore and starting to get bruised, but, damnit, he’s still thinking about you. the other gym members are silently avoiding him, eyeing him as he takes another swing at the bag. you looked so adorable eating breakfast, dropping your fork and grumbling— another punch. you looked so charming when you realized you put your left shoe on your right foot— another swing. another connection of his fist to the bag sends it flying, and Simon still wants to smother you lovingly
Roommate!Simon Riley that comes home sweaty and out of breath. he took a shower at the gym, but he decided to run home - took the long way. he hears you laughing, delighted little giggles spilling from your lips. he walks up behind you, looks down at your phone and hums, “What’s tha’?”, he asks. “Aah— it’s a baby hippo! Isn’t she cute? I just want to squeeze her so hard.”, you coo, swiping to another video. squeeze her? “Really? Why’s that?”, he asked, attention drifting towards you. “I dunno, sometimes you just see something cute and want to crush it a little, you know?
Roommate!Simon Riley that does know, and suddenly he feels a little less weird about wanting to squeeze you until you pop, “Yeah, I get it.”
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rocketbirdie · 4 months ago
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so close yet so far
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creachiergh · 3 months ago
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kinger locked the fuck in with this episode. not even because of the shotgun thing or him being protective of pomni. just look at him.
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captainmaxatx · 3 months ago
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Logan and Wade almost always do the nasty with the lights out and Wade is a little disappointed but he gets it and he resigned himself to a lifetime of dark sex long before Logan came along, sucks to know that your partner doesn’t want to look at you while getting down to business but its something Wade can live with.
Meanwhile, after a long day of stupid big bright lights Logan loves to have the lights out when making love with Wade because there isn’t any extra light bugging him and his natural night vision means he can see Wade perfectly, just the way he likes it
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stefisdoingthings · 5 months ago
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wings
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pokeberry5 · 1 year ago
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i feel like i never draw tim smiling but bb robin tim smiles a lot! (in between angst and tragedy)
brought to you by my continued attempts at figuring out tim’s early robin hair
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sweetlullabyebye · 3 months ago
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Edwin looking at Charles
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Charles version
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anto-pops · 22 days ago
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*Taash and their mother arguing about their gender identity in the kitchen with Rook uncomfortably stuck in the middle of it*
Meanwhile Lucanis in the pantry:
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p4nishers · 1 year ago
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ok but he didn't HAVE to do that. he always has crowley's attention, he didn't have to slide his hands up to CROWLEY'S HEART, keep it there then SLIDE IT DOWN. he didn't have to but he was slut enough to do so and i respect that
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bet-on-me-13 · 10 months ago
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The Bat-Adoption Papers are literal Magic Contracts
So! In the Deified Batman AU (the AU where the Belief of the peoples of Gotham accidentally Ascended Batman to minor godhood), the Bat Adoption Papers would be a fun concept.
Batman is a God of The Night, Fear, and Protection. Specifically, the protection of Children, which is one of his biggest motivators. Meaning, it's a big part of his Divine Domain.
So when he, a God of Protection and Children, adopts his own Child? It's kind of a big deal.
His Adoption Papers basically become Magical Contracts that claim Dick to him as his own Son, basically turning Dick into a Demigod by the fact that he is the Son of a God.
Then each time Batman adopts a kid, they become a Demigod as well. Maybe after enough time, and after they forge their own Identities, they could become Minor Gods of their own? Idk, fun idea
Why do I bring this up?
Well, when Danny eventually joins the JLA, and runs into Batman, all he sees in a God of the Night, who takes one look at him, and then pulls out a Magical Binding Contract from his Belt.
Needless to say, he books it.
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hailsatanacab · 1 year ago
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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
#dpxdc#batpham#i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e#immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot#after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along#my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom#and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan#(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets#dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp#they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny#duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone#everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him#damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but#2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers#(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha#spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha#anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun#i wanna make these slides so bad
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sagittlumni · 1 year ago
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Um...No. I have no idea how to explain myself tbh. That deadbeat is just occupying my mind rent free.
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simplenefelibata · 10 months ago
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as much as i love sam knowing about destiel before dean does, there's something about "i mean yeah my brother and his angel best friend are really weird about each other, live together, co-parent a kid, nearly kill themselves every time the other is gone, stand too close and stare at the other's mouth while they talk, but i mean to each their own i guess??" that's so special to me
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off-mozzarella · 23 days ago
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Just a small boy and his giant hammer <3
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2jihiir0 · 7 months ago
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Steve secretly keeps this (stolen) picture in his diary while Robin judges his questionable taste in men ..
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