#and while Pearl is feeding the ducks

[riverseinery]

I think they would be friends <3

[stalkerofthegods]

Poseidon's Deep dive 

Poseidon is a great god, I learned many things while researching him, things I would've never guessed! He only came by once because of the obvious mentions and mentions of his ephipets and he was very respectful! He is amazing, so please don't judge him so fast off of myths, myths are just old ‘fan fiction’, here you go Poseidon devotees

Herbs • Celeary, wild celery, pine trees, mint, moss, 

Animals• Bulls, horses, pegasus, dolphins, tuna, boars, rams, hippocampus, lambs, minotaur, seagulls,

Zodiac • Virgo and Libra (zodiacs of August)

Colors • sea colors, black, deep blue, any type of blues, gold. 

Crystal• aquamarine, abalone, ocean jasper, coral, pearls, sea pearls, black pearls, pink pearls, larimar, ammorine, any crystals associated with the sea, or looks like the ocean or what reminds you of him.

Symbols• tridents, boulders, headbands, wreaths of celery leaves, billowing cloak

Diety of•  Mediterranean sea, the sea, earthquakes, storms, water, horses, Atlantis (the city under the sea he drowned because they angered him), floods, tsunamis, pegasus, and protection of palaces (At Pylos and some other cities, he was a god of the underworld and his cult related to the protection of the palace.), springs, the foundation of buildings, vegetation, inland water, healing (at the city tinos he was worshiped as a healing god), sailor, drowning and shipwrecks, epilepsy

Patron of• sea, earthquakes, storms, water, horses, Atlantis (the city under the sea he drowned because they angered him), floods, tsunamis, pegasus, and protection of palaces (At Pylos and some other cities, he was a god of the underworld and his cult related to the protection of the palace.), springs, the foundation of buildings, vegetation, inland water, healing (at the city tinos he was worshiped as a healing god), sailor, drowning and shipwrecks, epilepsy

Offerings• Bull meat, imagery of bulls, bull horns, perhaps horse feed (he is the god of horses), a rock (in some myths he made a horse out of a rock), fish, meat, wine, tuna, fishnets, boar meat, ram meat, seaweed, celery, a plant, celery, food shaped of horses (ex- animal crackers, cookies, cakes), coffee, duck-shaped things and imagery of ducks (not dicks), juice, barley, mint chocolate, salt, ocean water, Honey, sea glass, fish stew, clam chowder, conch shells, cloaks, seashells, starfish, toys/art of dolphins and fish, shark teeth, sand, ship in a bottle, gold and silver objects, sticks and rocks from water and the beach, seagull feathers 

Devotional• Work on a farm to take care of horses (ex-cleaning their stalls, brushing them, and changing their feed) in his honor, go fishing, take care of pet fish, tame horses, go riding horses in his honor, go walk along the sea, go horseback riding across the beach, pick up trash on the beach, donate to ocean conversation in his honor, coral reef conservation his name, donate top local disastor programs in his name, clean up, lakes, rivers, riverbanks, sing in the shower in his honor, watch ocean videos and listen to wave sounds, visit aquariums, ask him to help bath and weather spells learn marine biology, work with mermaids and siren and the fae in his honor, learn about local coral life, learn pollution in water, do map- making for ur area or fantasy lands, take life gaurd lessons, Sailing knots, learn about Sailor sayings, learn about Boats/sailing, learn His genealogy/Myths, learn Water magick, learn about Seagulls, Dip your feet in the water if you can’t fully emerge yourself, Go surfing/parasailing/jetskiing, go boat rinding, Go canoeing/kayaking, Splash in puddles, drink water, learn how to scry with water, keep your of your pets weater bowl clea, encourge others to drink water, Learn proper storm precautions, Learn what causes them, Pray to Him for safety for yourself/others, Participate in storm relief clean-up, learn CPR, make sand castles, make paper boat, recycle, dedicate your water bottle.

Ephithets• Ælikóhnios/Heliconius/Ἑλικώνιος/ΕΛΙΚΩΝΙΟΣ, 

Æmbýlios/Empylios/Ἐμπύλιος/ΕΜΠΥΛΙΟ - at the gate, Ænnosíyaios/Ennosigaeus/Ἐννοσίγαιος/ΕΝΝΟΣΙΓΑΙΟΣ - Earth-shaker, 

Æpakmónios/Epakmonius/Ἐπακμόνιος/ΕΠΑΚΜΟΝΙΟΣ - an epithet of Poseidóhn in Viohtía, Æpóptis/epoptes/ἐπόπτης/ΕΠΟΠΤΗΣ - overseer/watcher, Aglaotríaina/Ἀγλαοτρίαινα/ΑΓΛΑΟΤΡΙΑΙΝΑ - he of the bright trident, Alídoupos/ἁλίδουπος/ΑΛΙΔΟΥΠΟΣ - sea-resounding, Ánax/Ἄναξ/ΑΝΑΞ - Ánax is king, Baructupos - See Varýktypos, Eftríaina/Eutriaina/Εὐτρίαινα/ΕΥΤΡΙΑΙΝΑ - of goodly trident, Empylios - See Æmbýlios, Ennosigaeus - See Ænnosíyaios, Epakmonius - See Æpakmónios, Epoptes - See Æpóptis, Gaieochus - See Yaiíokhos, 

Heliconius - See Ælikóhnios, Íppios/ ἵππιος/ÍΠΠΙΟΣ - a horseman/protector/horses, Kharitóhpis/charitopes/χαριτώπης/ΧΑΡΙΤΩΠΗΣ - graceful of aspect, Kronios - the name used by the Latin poets, Kyanokhaitis/kyanochaites/κυανοχαίτης/ΚΥΑΝΟΧΑΙΤΗΣ - dark or blue-haired like the sea, Kymothalís/cymothales/κυμοθαλής - abounding with waves, Neptune - Neptune is the Roman name for Poseidon, Nethuns - Nethuns is the Etruscan name for Poseidon, Nymphayǽtis/Νυμϕᾱγέτης/ΝΥΜΦΑΓΕΤΗΣ -leader of the Nymphs, Orsotríaina/Ὀρσοτρίαινα/ΟΡΣΟΤΡΙΑΙΝΑ - the wielder of the Trident, Poseidóhn/Poseidon/Ποσειδῶν/ΠΟΣΕΙΔΩΝ - "I bind the feet.", Pontomǽdohn/pontomedon/ποντομέδων/ΠΟΝΤΟΜΕΔΩΝ.- lord of the sea, Sæmnós/semne/σεμνός/ΣΕΜΝΟΣ/σεμνός - revered/august/holy, Seisichthon - See Seisíkhthohn, Seisíkhthohn/seisichthon/σεισίχθων, ΣΕΙΣΙΧΘΩΝ - earth-shaker, Semnos - See Sæmnós, Tæmænítis/Temenites/Τεμενίτης/ΤΕΜΕΝΙΤΗΣ - I have no explanation of where it is derived from or meaning so bear with me, Temenites - See Tæmænítis, Yaiíokhos/Gaieochus/γαιήοχος/ΓΑΙΗΟΧΟΣ - he who holds the earth, γαιήοχος/γαιηοῦχος - earth-moving/earth-carrying, Varýktypos/baructupos/βαρύκτυπος/ΒΑΡΥΚΤΥΠΟΣ - loud-thundering.

Equivalents (alike but not the same) • Neptune (roman), Sobek (egyptation)

Signs they are reaching out• seeing his symbols, having a sudden interest in him, seeing his animals, having a pull towards the water and the ocean, being interested in his children, mermaids, and sirens

Vows/omans• marriage vows, to rule his kingdom under the sea.

Number• 8

Morals• lawfully neutral

Courting• Amphitrite

Past lovers/crushes• AMPHITRITE, APHRODITE, ASTERIA, DEMETER, 

HESTIA (was wooed by Poseidon and Apollon. But she, declaring her desire to remain a virgin, retired to the palace of Zeus and kept her maidenhood.), THETIS, ALKYONE/Alcyone, ANIPPE, ARETHOUSA/ Arethusa, ASKRE/Ascra, BEROE, EIDOTHEA, EURYTE, HALIA, KELAINO/Celaeno, KELOUSA/Celusa, KHIONE/Chione,

KLEODORA/Cleodora, KORKYRA/Corcyra, Medusa, MELANTHEIA, MELIE, MIDEIA, NYMPHE KHIAS, NYMPHE TARENTINE, PEIRENE, PERO, PITANE, THOOS, NERITES (a male lover)

Personality• He is pretty nice if he likes you, devotes can say he's serious and stoic or that he's nice and just cares if you're okay, I think he can be really sweet, but I've never met him or seen him talking myths or my friends/people in the community talk about how he is, I like him tho! you have to remember he isn't his myth. I would personally read his myths, there was so much that i learned that i wouldve neevr guessed of him.

Home• Under the sea in a mansion

Fact• He had feats in his honor that women were not allowed to attend, he raped Medusa and Demeter in some myths or he 'seduced' them, he's the second youngest and second oldest of the Olympians,  As Poseidon grew, he fell in love with Halia (the beautiful sister of the Telchines), and fathered six sons and one daughter, Rhodos, Aphrodite attempted to make a stop at Rhodes on her way to Cyprus. Poseidon and Halia's sons denied her hospitality, so Aphrodite cursed them to fall in love and rape Halia. After they had done so, Poseidon made them sink below the sea

Curses• tsunamis, droughts, sending sea monsters, drowning cities, earthquakes, your home falling apart, drowning, seizures due to epilepsy, your daughter falling in love with a bull. 

Blessings• During an earthquake your home stays intact and okay, 

Roots• It is said that he was from the Greeks from the start but he could have originated from the Pelasgians or the Minyans.

Parentage• Kronos and Rhea 

Siblings• Zeus, hades, Hestia, Demeter, hera

Pet• his hippocampus pulling his chariot.

Children • AIOLOS/Aeolus - The god of the winds, he was a son of Poseidon and Arne. ASOPOS/Asopus - The god of the river Asopos of Argos, he was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Pero or Kelousa (but most accounts say he was born to Okeanos and Tethys like the rest of the river-gods). ATHENE/Athena The goddess of warcraft was, according to some, the daughter of Poseidon and Tritonis (contrary to the usual account in which she springs fully-grown from the head of Zeus, This is a myth from Libyan Mythology whose native gods were identified with their closest Greek counterparts--Athena and Poseidon.). DAIMONES PROSEOOUS Six spirits haunted the sea caverns of the island of Rhodes (Greek Aegean), They were sons of Poseidon and the sea-goddess Halia.

DESPOINE/Despoena- The goddess of certain Arkadian Mysteries She was a daughter of Poseidon and Demeter. PROTEUS An elderly sea-god who was the son and seal-herder of Poseidon. TELKHINES/Telchines - Sea-daimones and powerful but malignant sorcerors of the Aegean Islands who were buried beneath the sea by Zeus. According to some accounts, they were sons of Poseidon and Thallatta (though these accounts seem to identify or confuse them with the Rhodian Daimones Proseoous above). TRITON A fish-tailed sea god He was a son of Poseidon and Amphitrite. AITHOUSA/Aethusa - nymphor princess of Boiotia (central Greece), She was a daughter of Poseidon by the Pleaid Alkyone. BENTHESIKYME/Benthesicyme - sea-nymph queen of Aithopia/Ethiopia - She was a daughter of Poseidon and Amphitrite, HEROPHILE a nymph daughter of Poseidon and Aphrodite, 

KYMOPOLEIA/Cymopoleia - A sea-nymph or giantess daughter of Poseidon. OUREA/Urea - A nymph of the Troad (Asia Minor), She was a daughter of Poseidon loved by Apollon, RHODE/RHODOS The goddess-nymph of the Island of Rhodes (Greek Aegean), She was the wife of the god Helios and a daughter of Poseidon by one of three goddesses--Amphitrite, Aphrodite or Halia. ALOADAI/Aloadae - Two giants from Alos in Phthiotis (northern Greece) named Otos and Ephialtes attempted to storm Heaven, They were sons of Poseidon and Iphimedeia, ANTAIOS/Antaeus - A king of Libya (North Africa) who slew travelers to his country to roof the temple of Poseidon with their skulls...He was the son of Poseidon and Gaia the Earth, EPHIALTES A giant of Alos in Malis (northern Greece) who, with his brother Otos, attempted to storm Heaven.. He was a son of Poseidon and Iphimedeia, KHARYBDIS/Charybdis - An immortal giantess who was chained beneath the Straits of Messina where her inhalations formed a massive whirlpool. Kharybdis was the daughter of Poseidon and Gaia, KHRYSAOR/Chrysaor - A giant king of the island of Erytheia (in the Atlantic Ocean) and/or Iberia (Spain). He was a son of Poseidon and Medousa. LAISTRYGON/Laestrygon - The eponymous first king of the Laistrygones, a tribe of man-eating Giants. He was a son of Poseidon,

ORION A sea-walking giant of Hyria in Boiotia (central Greece), born of Poseidon and Euryale, or the earth, fertilised by an ox-hide soaked with the urine of the three gods Poseidon, Zeus, and Hermes.

OTOS/Otus - A giant of Alos in Malis (northern Greece) who, with his brother Ephialtes, attempted to storm Heaven. He was a son of Poseidon and Iphimedeia, POLYPHEMOS/Polyphemus - A kyklops (cyclops) giant of Sikelia (Sicily) (southern Italy). He was a son of Poseidon and the sea nymph Thoosa, AREION/Arion - An immortal horse owned by the heroes Herakles and Adrastos, He was the son of Poseidon and Demeter, born following their mating in the shape of horses, KHRYSOMALLOS/Chrysomallus) A golden-fleeced, flying ram who spoke with a human tongue. He was a son of Poseidon and Theophane, 

PEGASOS/Pegasus - An Immortal, winged horse owned by the hero Bellerophon. He was a son of Poseidon and Medousa, sprung from his mother's severed neck, ABAS A king of the island of Euboia (central Greece) and Eponym of the Abantes tribe who joined the expedition of the Argonauts, He was a son of Poseidon and the Nereis Arethousa.

AGELOS/Agelus - A king of the Island of Khios (Greek Aegean). He was the son of Poseidon and a Khian Nymphe, AGENOR A king of Phoinikia/Phoenicia (West Asia). He was a son of Poseidon and Libya.

AIOLOS/HELLEN/Aeolus A prince of the island of Ikaria (Greek Aegean). He was a son of Poseidon and Arne but was raised by the Ikarian king Metapontos and his wife Theano, AKHAIOS/Achaeus A king of Akhaia and Sikyonia (southern Greece) and eponym of the Akhaian tribes. According to some, he was a son of Poseidon and Larissa (though others call him a son of Xuthos), ALMOPOS/Almopus - The eponymous king of Almopia in Thrake (north of Greece). He was a child of Poseidon and Helle, 

ALOEUS A lord of the town of Alos in Phthiotis (northern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Kanake, ALTHEPOS/Althepus A king of Troizenos in the Argolis (southern Greece). He was a son of Poseidon and Leis.

AMPHERES A king of one of the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical island in the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite.

AMPHIMAROS/Amphimarus A lord of Mount Helikon in Boiotia (central Greece) or Khalkis in Euboia (Central Greece),+ He was a son of Poseidon. AMYKOS/Amycus A brutal king of the Bebrykes tribe of Bithynia (Asia Minor). He was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Melia.

ANKAIOS/Ancaeus A king of the island of Samos (Greek Aegean) and pilot of the celebrated ship Argo, He was a son of Poseidon and Astypalaia (or, according to one author, of Poseidon and Althaia).

ANTHAS The eponymous founding lord of the town of Anthedon in Boiotia (central Greece) and/or king of Troizenos in the Argolis (southern Greece) and founder of the town of Antheia, He later also founded the city of Halikarnassos (Asia Minor). Anthas was a son of Poseidon and the Pleaid Alkyone. ASPLEDON The eponymous founding lord of the town of Aspledon near Orkhomenos (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Mideia. ATLAS A king and overlord of the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent of the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. AUGEIAS/Augeas A king of Elis (southern Greece) who was, according to some, a son of Poseidon (but other accounts make him a son of Helios, Phorbas, or Poseidon's son Eleios).

AUTOKHTHON/Autochthon A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. AZAES A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite.

BELLEROPHON A hero and prince of Korinthos (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Queen Eurynome. BELOS/Belus An early king of Egypt (North Africa), son of Poseidon and Libya. BOIOTOS/Boeotus A prince of the island of Ikaria (Greek Aegean), He was a son of Poseidon and Arne (or Antiope) but was raised by King Metapontos and his wife Theano. BOUSIRIS/Busiris A king of Egypt (North Africa) who sacrificed foreign visitors to the gods, He was a son of Poseidon and Lysianassa (or, according to some, of the Naias Anippe). BOUTES/Butes - An Athenian lord (southern Greece) who joined the expedition of the Argonauts. According to some, he was a son of Poseidon (most, however, say his father was Teleon). DELPHOS/Delphus The eponymous lord of the town of Delphoi in Phokis (central Greece), According to some, he was a son of Poseidon and Melantho (although he is usually called a son of Apollon).

DERKYNOS/Dercynus A co-king of Liguria (in southern France) with his brother Ialebion Both were sons of Poseidon. DIAPREPRES A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. DIKTYS/Dictys, A prince of Elis (southern Greece), son of Poseidon and Agamede. EDONOS/Edonus The eponymous king of Edonia in Thrake (north of Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Helle. EIRENE/Irene A woman from the Island of Kalaureia in the Argolis (southern Greece), She was a daughter of Poseidon and the Nymphe Melantheia. ELASIPPOS/Elasippus A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean. He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. ELEIOS/Eleus The eponymous king of Elis (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Eurykyda.

EPHOKEUS/Ephoceus, A son of Poseidon and the Pleaid Alkyone (the name is probably a corruption of Epopeus, the king of Sikyon.).

EPOPEUS A king of Sikyonia (southern Greece). He was, according to some, a son of Poseidon by either Kanake, Oinope, or Alkyone (others called him a son of Aloeus). ERGINOS/Erginus, A lord of Miletos in Karia (Asia Minor) and one of the Argonauts was a son of Poseidon.

ERYX was A king of Elymoi in Sicily (southern Italy), According to some, he was a son of Poseidon (others, however, claimed he was a son of Aphrodite and Boutes). EUADNE/Evadne, A princess of Arkadia (southern Greece), daughter of Poseidon and Pitane. EUAIMON/Euemon A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. EUMOLPOS/Eumolpus A king of one of the lands of Thrake (northern Greece), He was carried off at birth by Poseidon to be raised in the land of Aithiopia (in Africa) and ended his life fighting on the side of the Eleusinians in Attika (Central Greece), Eumolpos was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Khione. EUPHEMOS/Euphemus A lord of either Hyria in Boiotia (central Greece) or Psamathus on the Tainaron Peninsular of Lakedaimonia (southern Greece), and one of the Argonauts, He was a son of Poseidon and Europa, daughter of Tityos (or possibly Poseidon and Kelaino). EURYPYLOS/Eurypylus, A king of the island of Kos (Greek Aegean), was a son of Poseidon and Astypalaia. EURYTOS/Eurytus One of the Molionidai, siamese-twins, and princes of Olenos in Akhaia (southern Greece), They were sons of Molione and Poseidon (or her husband Aktor).

EUSIROS/Eusirus A lord of Malis (northern Greece), son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Eidothea. GADEIROS/EUMELOS/Gadeirus/Eumelus A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean. He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. HALLIRHOTHIOS (Hallirhothius) A lord of Athens in Attika (southern Greece). He was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Euryte. HIPPOTHOON/HIPPOTHOUS A lord of Eleusis in Attika (southern Greece), son of Poseidon and Alope. HOPLEUS A lord of Thessalia (northern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Kanake. HYPERES/HYPERENOR A king of Troizenos in the Argolis (southern Greece) and founder of the town of Hypereia, He was a son of Poseidon and the Pleaid Alkyone. HYRIEUS The eponymous founding lord of the town of Hyria in Boiotia (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and the Pleaid Alkyone. IALEBION A co-king of Liguria (western Europe) with his brother Derkynos, Both were sons of Poseidon. IDAS A prince and hero of Messenia (southern Greece) who was, according to some, a son of Poseidon and Arene (most, however, say his father was king Aphareus).

KAUKON/Caucon A prince of Olenos in Akhaia or Kaukonia in Messenia (southern Greece), a son of Poseidon and Astydameia, the daughter of Phorbas. KELAINOS/Celaenus The eponymous lord of the Phrygian city of Kelainos (Asia Minor) was a son of Poseidon and the Danais Kelaino.

KENKHRIAS/Cenchrias A lord of Korinthos (southern Greece) and Eponym of its harbour Kenkhrai, He was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Peirene. KERKYON/Cercyon A barbaric king of Eleusis in Attika (southern Greece) who, according to some, was a son of Poseidon and the daughter of Amphiktyon (but others claimed he was a son of Hephaistos or a mortal named Brankhos). KHIOS/Chios The eponymous first king of the island of Khios (Greek Aegean), He was a son of Poseidon and a Khian Nymphe.

KHRYSES/Chryses A king of Orkhomenos (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Khrysogeneia. KROMOS/Cromus The eponymous founding lord of Krommyon in Korinthos (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon. KTEATOS/Cteatus One of the Molionidai, siamese-twin princes of Olenos in Akhaia (Southern Greece), They were sons of Molione and Poseidon (or her husband Aktor). KYKHREUS/Cychreus A king of the island of Salamis (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and the Naias Salamis. KYKNOS/Cycnus A king of Kolonai in the Troad (Asia Minor) and ally of the Trojans in their war with the Greeks, He was a son of Poseidon and Kalyke whom his father made invulnerable to weapons. LAMIA A queen of Libya (North Africa), She was a daughter of Poseidon (or Belos). LEKHES/Leches A lord of Korinthos (Southern Greece) and Eponym of its harbour Lekhaion, He was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Peirene. LELEX The first king of Megara (southern Greece), who emigrated to Greece from Aigyptos (Egypt in North Africa), He was a son of Poseidon and Libya. LEUKON/Leucon A prince of Athamantia in Boiotia (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Themisto, the wife of King Athamas (though most sources say the king was his natural father). LYKOS/Lycus (1) A man who was transferred to the Islands of the Blest by Poseidon, He was a son of Poseidon and the Pleaid Kelaino (or according to others of her sister Alkyone).

LYKOS/Lycus (2) A lord of Dirphys in Euboia (central Greece) who with his brother Nykteus slew Kreon and seized the throne of Thebes in Boiotia (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Kelaino daughter of Ergeus. MEGAREUS A lord of Onkhestos in Boiotia (central Greece) and later king of Megara (Southern Greece), Some say he was a son of Poseidon and Oinope (though others say his father was Onkhestos, Oinope's husband). MELAS A lord of the island of Khios (Greek Aegean), He was the son of Poseidon and a Nymphe. MESSAPOS/Messapus The eponymous founding king of Messapios (southern Italy) who was an ally of Turnus in his war against Aeneas. He was a son of Poseidon.

MESTOR A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean, He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite.

MINYAS An extremely wealthy king of Orkhomenos who, according to some, was a son of Poseidon (though others say his father was Khryses, Aiolos, or Orkhomenos). MNESEUS A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis (a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean), He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite. MOLIONIDAI/Molionidae A pair of Siamese twins named Eurytos and Kteatos. They were princes of Olenos in Akhaia (southern Greece) and later co-rulers of the neighboring kingdom of Elis. The Molionidai were sons of Molione by either Poseidon or her husband Aktor. MYGDON A king of the Bebrykes tribe of Bithynia (Asia Minor), He was a son of Poseidon and the Nymphe Melia.

NAUPLIOS/Nauplius The eponymous founding lord of Nauplia in the Argolis (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Amymone.

NAUSITHOOS/Nausithous A king of the Phaiakoi (Phaeacians) of the island of Korkyra (north-western Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Periboia. NELEUS A king of Pylos (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Tyro. NIREUS A lord of Thessalia (northern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Kanake. NYKTEUS/Nycteus A regent of Thebes in Boiotia (central Greece) who seized lordship of the city with his brother Lykos. Nykteus was a son of Poseidon and Kelaino the daughter of Ergeus. OIOKLOS/Oeoclus A lord and co-founder of the town of Askra in Boiotia (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Askre.

ONKHESTOS (Onchestus) The eponymous founding lord of the town of Onkhestos in Boiotia (central Greece), He was a son of Poseidon.

PAION/Paeon The eponymous founding king of Paionia (north of Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Helle. PARNASSOS/Parnassus A lord of Phokis (central Greece), He was a son of the Nymphe Kleodora and either Poseidon or Kleopompos. PELASGOS/Pelasgus The eponymous first king of the ancient Pelasgian tribes of Arkadia (southern Greece), According to some, he was a son of Poseidon and Larissa (though others call him a son of Zeus or Earth-Born). PELIAS A king of Iolkos in Thessalia (northern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Tyro. PERATOS/Peratus A king of Sikyonia (southern Greece), son of Poseidon and Kalkhinia.

PERIKLYMENOS/Periclymenus A son of Poseidon and Astypalaia, He was probably the same as the Argonaut Periklymenos, who is usually called a son of Neleus (and so a grandson of Poseidon). (The error-prone writer Hyginus probably included him by mistake in his list of Poseidon's sons).

PERIPHETES/KORYNETES/Corynetes, A bandit of Epidauros, Argolis (southern Greece) who slew passerbys with his club, was slain by Theseus. According to some, Periphetes was a son of Poseidon (but others say Hephaistos). PHAIAX/Phaeax The eponymous first king of the Phaiakoi (Phaeacians) of the island of Korkyra (north-western Greece), son of Poseidon and the nymph Korkyra. PHINEUS A king of Salmydessos in Thrake (northern Greece), He was, according to some, a son of Poseidon (though others say his father was Agenor). PHOKOS/Phocus A lord of Tithorea in Phokis (central Greece) and an eponym of the region, He was a son of Poseidon by the wife of the Korinthian prince Ornytion (Ornytion is also sometimes called his father). PHTHIOS/Phthius The first eponymous king of Phthiotis (northern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Larissa. POLTYS A king of Ainos in Thrake (north of Greece), He was a son of Poseidon. PROKUSTES/Procrustes A bandit of Attika (southern Greece) who used to force passersby to fit exactly into his bed--by amputation or stretching. He was a son of Poseidon, Prokrustes was also named Damastes and Polypemos. SARPEDON A prince of Ainos in Thrake (north of Greece), He was a son of Poseidon. SKEIRON/Sciron A bandit of Megaris (southern Greece) who kicked passers-by off a cliff and into the jaws of a giant turtle. According to some, he was a son of Poseidon (though others say his father was Pelops, Pylas, or Kanethos). TAPHIOS/Taphius A pirate king of the Taphian Islands (Greek Aegean), He was a son of Poseidon and Hippothoe. TARAS The eponymous first king of Taras (southern Italy), He was a son of Poseidon and a Tarentine Nymphe. THASOS/Thasus The eponymous first king of the island of Thasos (Greek Aegean), According to some, he was a son of Poseidon (though others identified his father as Agenor or Kilix).

THESEUS An Athenian hero and king of Attika (southern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Aithra, though King Aigeus believed he was the father. TRIOPAS A king of one of the lands of Thessalia (northern Greece), He was a son of Poseidon and Kanake.

Appearance in astral or gen• a mature man with a sturdy build and dark beard holding a trident, dark skin with a beard and usually wearing a blue toga and blue eyes.

Festivals • At Corinth, the Isthmian games were an athletic and music festival in honor of the god. Athens held a feast for him in August, Athens held a vegetation festival where he was worshipped. Mycale in Ionia has a festival where they sacrifice a bull to him.  Ephesus in Ionia where a feast was held in his honor where the cup holders were called "bulls". Kalaureia was a temple dedicated to Poseidon where the region was also his so they would hold a feast and the members of the council would meet up in the temple and sacrifice a bull. Tainaria, where the participants were called Tainarioi, the sacred sanctuary of the god, was built in a cave in the Tainaron peninsula. Onchestos in Boeotia the feast held horse racing. in Sparta held the race Gaiaochoi and the temple was built beside a Hippodrome. Epidauros A fest in the month, of Poseidon, was celebrated in honor of Poseidon. In Helos The fest Pohoidaia was celebrated in honor of Poseidon, and the festival included athletic games and competitions. In Thuria Fest Pohoidaia was celebrated in honor of Poseidon, It included athletic games and competitions. In Mantineia in Arcadia, Poseidon was worshipped with the surname Hippios (of the horse), The fest included the athletic games Hippokrateia, The temple was holy and the entrance into the cella was not allowed. Pallandion in Arcadia Poseidon had the epithet Hippios (of the horse) and the fest included the athletic games Hippokrateia. In Lesbos A festival in the month Poseidios was celebrated in honor of Poseidon. In Myconos held a fest, he was worshipped as a god of fishing and women were not allowed. Demeter received offerings in the same fest, indicating that Poseidon was also the god of vegetation. In Tinos, A great fest called Poseidonia was celebrated in honor of Poseidon, The temple included great banquet halls, indicating a large number of participants Poseidon was worshipped as a healer-god.

Season • august

Status• One of the twelve Olympians is in the Big Three 

(the 3 kings of the world, hades (underworld), Zeus (overworld), Poseidon (sea)) He is a god, was in the Titan war, and was one of the majority that helped.

What angers them• insults, not keeping ur bargaining end of the deal, stealing, and insulting the sea or family. 

Planet• Neptune

Tarot cards• The chariot, King of Cups, and the king

Remind me of• drowning, kracken, aquareims

Scents/Inscene • Mrryths, frankincense, ocean, and rain scents.

Theres too much text so websites will be put in comments 

I use resources, I do not own the info, and most deep dives have UPG (that I use in my work.) And I only take some information from sources. I am 14, this is my hobby, I am learning but I spent many hours and days on this, and I am always open to criticism. I have been doing worship for 5 years. Please know you can use the info, I do not sue, but I will take action if this work is used without permission and not put as a resource if used in any work. without permisson and not put as a resource if used in any work, for the public.

[princesssarisa]

In Heidi Anne Heiner's Cinderella Tales from Around the World, I've now read the few Donkeyskin tales from Spain and Portugal, followed by the more numerous versions from the British Isles.

*The book features two Spanish variants: The Ass's Skin, which strongly resembles the French versions and has the heroine become a goose girl while disguised in a donkey's skin, and The Golden Chest, which is a "princess hides in a hollow object" variant, in this case a golden chest.

**In The Ass's Skin, the princess's finery is just described as "the loveliest and most costly dresses and jewels," while in The Golden Chest, she asks her father for a gown of multicolored feathers, a gown of fish scales, and a gown studded with stars made of diamonds and pearls.

*The one Portuguese variant, The Princess Who Would Not Marry Her Father, reads like a slightly unwieldy composite of various French, German, and Italian variants. The king chooses his daughter as his bride because only she can wear her late mother's ring. Advised by an old woman who's really a fairy, she demands gowns with the themes of stars, flowers, and many colors, then finally runs away disguised in a wooden dress, which secretly holds the gowns. Calling herself "Maria Wood," she finds work tending another king's ducks; every day, when she's alone with the ducks in a field, she puts on one of her gowns. Three days in a row, the young king sees her from afar, but when asked who the "beautiful lady" was, "Maria Wood" pretends not to know. Meanwhile (whether accidentally or on purpose, it's not clear), she kills a duck each day, until the king decides she's not fit to be a duck herder and brings her into the castle as a maidservant instead. Soon afterward, three balls take place; each time Maria Wood asks to go, the king refuses and throws some object at her, and when she later attends the balls in her gowns, she claims to come from "the land of Boot," "the land of Towel," and "the land of Walking Stick." But then, after the balls, every night she secretly puts on the gowns in her bedroom. One night the king sees her through the keyhole, so he has a new key to the room made, and on a subsequent night he opens the door, catching the princess unawares in her finery. Thus the whole truth is revealed and the king and princess are married.

Next we move on to the English variants.

*Heiner includes Joseph Jacobs' Tattercoats in this section of the book, though I'm not sure why: it's not really a Donkeyskin tale, but more of an unconventional Cinderella. The orphaned heroine lives with her grandfather, a rich lord, who shuns her because his daughter died giving birth to her: he sits day and night by his window, weeping for his daughter until his tears form a channel to the sea, and letting his hair grow so long that it binds him to his chair. She grows up neglected and bullied by the servants, who call her "Tattercoats." Her only friends are her old nurse, who feeds and clothes her, and a boy who tends the geese, who plays music on a pipe that always makes her happy. One day the king gives a ball to find a bride for his son. The grandfather refuses to let Tattercoats go, but the gooseherd comforts her and suggests they at least go into town to see the lords and ladies on the way to the ball. Along with the flock of geese, they set out, dancing all the while as the gooseherd plays music on his pipe. As it happens, the prince comes riding along, and he falls in love with Tattercoats at first sight. (This is a very rare Cinderella tale where the prince falls for the heroine in her rags, though it's implied that the gooseherd's magic pipe causes it.) He brings her to the ball and proclaims her as his bride-to-be, and at that moment, the gooseherd's magical music transforms her rags into a beautiful gown and the geese into attendants for her. Thus she marries the prince, although the ending has two bittersweet notes: the gooseherd disappears and is never seen again, and the grandfather refuses to reconcile with his granddaughter, but still sits and grieves.

**I remembered this tale when I saw the concept art for Disney's Encanto that showed Abuela Alma sitting sadly by her window, with her long hair seeming to form a river. Since both stories have the theme of a troubled grandparent/granddaughter relationship that stems from the grandparent's grief (whether for a lost daughter or a lost husband), I wonder if at that early point in production, the Encanto creative team drew some inspiration from Tattercoats.

*Next, the book features three versions of Catskin. This English tale is a more straightforward variant of Donkeyskin, though without the attempted incest. It exists not only as a prose tale, but as a sung ballad: this book includes two versions of the ballad's rhyming lyrics and one prose version.

**In this tale, a rich lord wants a son, but his wife only gives birth to daughters (or, in the prose version, just one daughter), and when their youngest (or only) daughter is born, he's so disappointed and angry that he wants nothing to do with her. The girl is raised by a nurse in the country, and though her father sends her fine clothes and has her educated, he otherwise ignores her.

**When she grows up, in the two ballad versions, she just sets out to find work because her father doesn't want her and she has nowhere else to go. In the prose version, her father decides to marry her off to the first man who proposes, and he turns out to be a nasty old man, so she runs away. In all versions, though, she bundles up her elegant clothes, dresses herself in a catskin coat, and becomes a scullery maid at a young nobleman's castle.

***When three balls are held, Catskin asks to go each night, but either the bad-tempered cook or the young lord's snobbish mother refuses, and first throws water on her, then hits her with a ladle, then with a skimmer. At each ball, she claims to live at "the Sign of the Basin of Water," "the Sign of the Broken Ladle," and "the Sign of the Broken Skimmer." The fact that the young lord himself isn't the abuser obviously makes the romance more palatable for modern readers, though it means we lose the element of irony and satire from the variants where he is.

**On the third night, the young lord manages to follow the mystery lady into the forest unnoticed, where he sees her change from her gown into her catskin robe. The next say, he asks his mother for Catskin's hand in marriage, but she refuses, so he becomes gravely ill (or, in one ballad version, he feigns illness) and insists on having Catskin nurse him. She comes to his room in her beautiful gown, confirming her identity.

**Meanwhile, back in Catskin's birthplace, her mother and (in the ballads) her sisters have all died, leaving her father alone in the world. He deeply regrets having sent her away, but at last they reunite (either Catskin and her husband come to him or he learns of her marriage and comes to her), and Catskin forgives him.

*The one Irish variant included in this book, The Princess in the Catskins, is like a cross between the English Catskin and the European Donkeyskin tales. The princess's wicked stepfather seeks to marry her after her mother dies, but a fairy disguised as a horse advises her first to demand gowns of silver, gold, and diamonds and pearls, and then to hide them in walnut shells and run away in a catskin disguise. She becomes a scullery maid at another castle, attends three balls, wins the prince's love, and is identified in the end by a ring the prince slipped onto her finger.

**There's no abuse theme in this variant. Instead, the prince notices "Cat-skin's" resemblance to the lady at the ball and tries to question her, but each time she plays dumb. Then at the second and third balls, she pretends to be annoyed with the prince because she's heard that he's been speaking sweetly to a maidservant.

*There are also two Scottish variants, The King Who Wished to Marry His Daughter and Margery White Coats. In both, the princess is expected to marry her father because her late mother's clothes fit no one but her. In The King... her godmother advises her to ask for gowns of swan's down, cottongrass flowers, and gold and silver, for a silver shoe and a gold shoe, and for a chest that can float on the sea. Then she sails across the sea inside the chest, reaches another country, becomes a scullery maid in a wealthy house, and wears her gowns to church on Sundays, where a prince falls in love with her. In Margery White Coats, her uncle advises her to ask for gowns of birds' down, silver, and gold, and for glass shoes, and then helps her escape to another king's palace, where she becomes a scullery maid wearing only her white petticoat and shift, but attends three royal feasts. In both, Cinderella-style, she ultimately loses a shoe, and the prince tries it on every maiden until he finds her.

*Compared to the continental European Donkeyskins, I notice that none of the British versions have the heroine's love interest abuse her in her servant disguise. If the running abuse gag is included at all, the one who inflicts it is always a woman instead, either the love interest's mother or the cook. But several British versions have the heroine be abused and insulted by her fellow servants – whether just by the cook, as in Catskin, or by the whole staff, as in Tattercoats, or as in The Princess in the Catskins, where they can see her regal bearing and bully her for "putting on airs" and where the manservants sexually harass her. This theme is much less common in the versions from continental Europe.

Next on the list of Donkeyskin tales: the versions from Scandinavia.

@ariel-seagull-wings, @adarkrainbow, @themousefromfantasyland

[bayoubashsims]

Senescence

Senescence is a short visual story of the twilight years of Agnes Crumplebottom (the title is inspired by this machinima, about a Crumplebottom as well, check it out guys, it’s so lovely). I wrote this many years ago in my teens and illustrated it (with my limited drawing skills), and found the time to do the story in TS2 some time ago.

This post is dedicated to elder Sims, who I feel are often overlooked as they are often so in real life as well. With the COVID-19 epidemic going on at the time of this post, I fully realized how vulnerable elders are and I feel we must care for them especially in these times. 

When people commented about this epidemic being a ‘boomer-remover’, it stroke me as insensitive, because even though I know there are a lot of unpleasant older people out there, a lot of them are still pleasant and our loved ones (plus, not only older people are vulnerable). 

Agnes Crumplebottom was not known as a nice Sim, but her story in The Sims 3 enabled us to look at her in a different way. I was both tickled and touched by @yakumtsaki's words on Agnes here–poor woman is probably only able to rest in peace once she kicks the bucket, so, here is my attempt at a touching tribute before she did.

Also, I suggest listening to this playlist while reading this!

Everyone around Downtown knew the pitter-patter of those shoes. Couples would flee in horror, the scantily dressed would rush to the bushes, and pickpockets dared not go near her infamous purse. But that day was strange. She walked cheerfully past an unwary pair of lovebirds locked in amorous embrace on a bench and she greeted a young woman in a sequinned tube top ‘good morning!’.

She went to her usual spot, a pair of green, wooden recliners near the pond at the Crumplebottom Memorial Park (named after a renowned relative who was unfortunately crushed to death by a chandelier many years ago). She brought out some bread crumbs and fed the ducks swimming at the pond, swarming at her by the side. She was always so kind to animals. But to people? Not so much.

“There you go, little darlings!” She said to them, her voice high-pitched and rickety. A duck came near her feet to peck off the crumbs near her shoes. She didn’t realize it was there until it had pecked the toe of her shoe.

“Ooh!” She exclaimed, giggling a bit. “Aren’t you a curious one!“

She took out her lorgnette glasses and inspected the little critter. The people walking by were rather confused by this. She’d usually sit down and feed the ducks, but giggle and smile? They’re not even sure if it’s really THE Agnes Crumplebottom. Truth be told, they haven’t seen her for the past few months. At any rate, it was a quiet autumn day, and there weren’t many people around. 

She sat down and allowed the curious little fowl approach her. "Now don’t you peck and be a good girl, alright? I’m just here to relax.” 

She caressed the pearl necklace hanging around her neck. “My fiancé gave this to me, you know. He’s just the most darling thing! And his last name is Darling, too, funnily enough. I’m going to be Agnes Darling very soon. Isn’t that wonderful?”

She adjusted her weaved picture hat and seemed rather confused. “Why am I, why am I wearing this…hat? Where’s my grey hat? Oh, darn. I must’ve left it at my sister’s. My word.”

“What was the name of her son again? Murray? Mortimer? Oh, he’d love ducks, I think. Those little boys are always up to something, but he seems like a bright young man. I’ve never really had a chance to spend much time with him. Truth be told, I don’t know him or his father that well. So silly of me. Oh! And I’m talking to a duck!”

She laughed, then sat back and took a deep breath and looked around.

“My my. Where is Erik? He said he was going to meet me here.”

Agnes rose from her seat and approached the rental shack at the corner of the park, not far from there. The rental shack clerk was raking the leaves nonchalantly whilst humming and heard the pitter-patter of shoes approaching. He lifted his head and greeted the woman, after only seeing half of her from under his hat.

“Good afternoon, how can I he–ELP YO-uu…” He jumped, fixing his glasses that slipped off his nose in shock.

“Merciful heavens! What on earth is the matter with you?” She yelled, lorgnette glasses in hand, inspecting him suspiciously.

“No–nothing, Miss Crumplebottom.”

“I was wondering, have you seen my fiancé? He’s about so tall and has blonde hair?”

The rental shack clerk was quiet for a few moments. “Fiancé?”

“I thought I was asking the questions, here!” Agnes yelled.

“Um…um…no, I haven’t…I thought he…your husband…passed on?”

Agnes lift her left eyebrow. “Husband? Passed on?”

The rental shack clerk looked both confused and scared.

Agnes blinked a few times, saying nothing and looking like she was thinking about something. She turned around and walked away, leaving the rental shack clerk relieved and he went back into his shack to go about his business. 

“Oh, what nonsense. Passed on. Passed on where...” She rubbed her pearl necklace and looked apprehensive. She clutched her pearls tightly and squinted her eyes, fiddling with her fingers.

Agnes walked a few meters away into the park and stopped. She dropped her purse and began sobbing as she fell to the ground. It had all came back to her.

The honeymoon. The accident. The years of pain and hurt and the bitterness that followed. She had woken up that day like a new woman, who only remembered of her days before all of that disappointment, the false hope of love. 

How confused would the Downtowners be had they seen it. They’ve never seen her cry or express any emotion other than rage. The younger ones hardly knew who she was except for the stories they’ve heard about the purse of terror.

Some simply thought she was just a demented old bat. Now, even more. Those years of self-righteousness were born out of the disappointment, but now, she was no longer a threat. If anything, she realized that she had been her own biggest threat in the decades that she’s lived. 

“Aunt Agnes!” Called out a woman’s voice, running towards her. A hand grasped her arm and helped her up as the elder lady trembled. Agnes could barely see, worsened by her tears. She squinted but didn’t know who it was.

“Who is this–who are you? I don’t know you…” She asked, meekly, in between little sniffs.

“It’s me, Cassandra.”

She sobbed and shook her head. “I don’t know! I don’t know where, who–”

“Cassandra. Your sister’s granddaughter, remember? Grandma Cornelia?”

“Oh…” She answered, as if she remembered, but not really. Nevertheless, she calmed down. “Cornelia, Cornelia. Yes.” 

Cassandra led her great-aunt into the wheelchair she had brought and sat her down gently, tucking her purse firmly into her lap. “Aunt Agnes, you shouldn’t have left the house. It’s lucky that your nurse called me, we’ve been trying to find you for hours. You know you can’t go out on your own.” 

“I don’t know…I’m lost…I couldn’t find Erik…”

Cassandra tilted her head and put her hand over her shoulder.

“Why don’t we get you home, Aunt Agnes? Would you like that?”

Agnes leaned her head to the side and nodded.

[junhuifurby]

hi can I request date headcannons with tesla?

Oh my god I said i was gonna post more and then i leave for over a month I am so sorry y'all- Anyways,

Date Headcanons With Tesla

-Tesla is a very busy man- you knew this going into a relationship with him- and rarely has time for dates. -When he does have time, he will absolutely make the most of it, but not exactly in the traditional sense.

-For Tesla, a date would most likely be a stroll/picnic in the park (or even your backyard if you have one), a night at home spent with each other, or feeding the ducks in the park -He would make sure you laugh, have a great time, and forget all your worries for a little bit -Just don't wear pearls, he'll very quickly ask you to get rid of them. -If you do have a food related date, make sure to bring dishes that make it easy to calculate the volume of the food. Otherwise, you'll be there for a while. -Tesla will make sure to make up for all the lost time while he's been working. He'd love to spend more time together but that would interfere with the wonders of innovation! -If you don't live together he'll always make sure you get home safely. -He often brings you small gift that he's made for you, always something that you've mentioned you like or something to fix a problem you've had. Sorry these are so short ToT

[9oodshots]

'𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗟'⁣ 🎬 𝗦𝗬𝗡𝗢𝗣𝗦𝗜𝗦 & 😎 𝗡𝗢𝗡-𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗥 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪:⁣ ⁣ 🎬: While awaiting her husband's return from serving in World War I, young bride Pearl [Mia Goth] lives on a Texas homestead with her German immigrant parents - her over-bearing & puritanical mother Ruth [Tandi Wright] & her wheelchair-bound & infirmed father [Matthew Sunderland].⁣ ⁣ Envisioning that her husband, Howard, had died in battle, Pearl fears the worst for her future...that she will be forever-stuck in her backwater Southern town with no hope of a better life.⁣ ⁣ With the potential to join a travelling dance troupe, which only has one free spot that she will have to compete for against her more glamorous sister-in-law, Mitsy [Emma Jenkins-Purro], is this Pearl’s last chance to be recognised as extraordinary?⁣ ⁣ 😎: A prequel/origin-story for the lead antagonist from the recent cult-hit 'X,' writer/director Ti West delves into how Pearl's longing for a better life had mutated into an obsession & hatred for young women with 'loose morals,' who took for granted their good looks & favourable opportunities in life [that she never had].⁣ ⁣ Set in 1918, during the influenza epidemic, Pearl’s mum, Ruth, refused contact with outsiders & denied receiving food from extended family. Ruth saw Pearl’s soujourns into town as potential risks to the family's health & in general treated Pearl like a lapdog, forcing her to feed & give baths to her father.⁣ ⁣ Pearl showed signs of psychopathology from a young age when she shamelessly killed a duck, for being annoying, with her [weapon of choice] pitchfork. Taking the duck to the end of the jetty, she fed it to Theda, a giant alligator patrolling the waters of the local lake. Theda later featured in 'X,' too.⁣ ⁣ 🔱 Lusting for a glamorous life like what she'd seen in the movies, Pearl’s ambitions & obsessions become a dangerous focus for someone so unstable. Lacking support & friendship, not to mention the companionship of the only man who truly understood her, Pearl’s descent into madness starts off slowly but gains momentum at an alarming speed. 🔱 ⁣ Thanks to @madmanfilms; 'Pearl,' rated 𝗠𝗔𝟭𝟱+, opened in 🇦🇺 cinemas on March 16, 2023. ©️ (at X-Movie) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp9do7VPi88/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[biillyhargroves]

“just… let me lay here for a while.” For the prompts! 💕

better not to know (trauma prompts)

Steve stands in the doorway, one shoulder leaned hard against the jamb, worrying at lip, chewing it raw. The red LED numbers on the alarm clock blink from 8:01 to 8:02pm. Billy arrived an hour ago but he still hasn’t spoken a word. He’d simply snuck in through the back door, grunted a half-hearted hello. He’d kept his head down, his hair shadowing the black-and-blue swell of his eye, the stippled bruising bloomed over his jaw. When Steve kissed him, he’d tasted blood.

“What happened?” Steve frowned, raised a hand to smooth back Billy’s hair. He’d moved too quickly, too suddenly — Billy flinched, ducked away, and Steve side-stepped the glass shard pieces of his own heart to grab him a beer from the fridge, desperate to do something that might break the ice, that might get Billy to relax, to talk to him. Billy had stared at the bottle, considering it, head titled. Steve opened his mouth to speak and Billy swiped the bottle from him, held it by the neck as he stalked upstairs. It now sits swearing on the nightstand, huge pearls of condensation slipping down the amber glass, pooling in heavy rings around the bottom of the bottle.

Billy is on the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest, his head angled toward the window. His breath is shallow, and sometimes, when he inhales a bit too deep, Steve thinks he sees Billy flinch. He’s refused help, won’t even let Steve get a good look at him. Steve feels utterly useless. He feeds tape after tape into the boombox, fiddles with the volume until Billy grunts his approval.

Steve sucks in a breath, shoves his hands into his pockets, steps tentatively into his own bedroom. Billy reacts; his body tenses, and it looks painful. His jaw twitches, and he swallows thickly when his eyes land on Steve’s. Billy looks him up and down, leans back against the headboard, levels his gaze with Steve’s own.

This acceptance, tense as it may be, encourages Steve. He takes another step and then another, until he is standing beside the bed and Billy is peering warily up at him. “Baby,” Steve says as he sits beside Billy, wanting so badly to touch him, desperate to comfort him. Billy’s gaze is steady, but guarded. “I gotta be honest,” Steve tells him, ducking down when Billy tries to avert his eyes, desperate to hold that fragile connection. “You’re kind of scaring me.”

Billy raises his head. When he speaks, his voice is raspy, and it is only then that Steve notices the ring of purple stamped at his throat, thick and rippling around his neck. “Sorry.”

Steve slides his hand closer, rests it on Billy’s knee, emboldened when Billy does not shake him off or scoot away. “Don’t be sorry,” Steve tells him. “You don’t have to be. I’m just worried.”

He reached for Billy, his chest clenching as his fingers graze Billy’s neck. Billy jerks away, mutters, “Don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, pulling his hand away. They lapse into silence. The last tape Steve loaded ends, a slow fade that eases softly into silence. Billy swallows thickly and it hurts Steve to watch. Billy shifts where he sits, his face contorting briefly in pain.

Steve wants to help, but he is terrified to hurt Billy, scared to make things worse. Where exactly do you put your hands on somebody who hurts everywhere? Steve’s hands hover over Billy, aching with compassion, paralyzed by fear. Billy’s eyes mist — frustration, pain.

“Hey,” Steve says softly, and he catches the first tear that falls, his thumb sweeping gently over Billy’s bruised cheek. The gesture is too soft, too kind, for Billy to handle. Another tear falls, and then another, and then Steve is gathering Billy into his arms. “Hey,” he whispers, guiding Billy’s head to his shoulder, one hand trailing up and down Billy’s spine. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’m with you. You’re safe here.”

Billy cries harder, his whole body shaking. He hissed, flinches, when Steve’s finger graze his ribs and Steve makes a point not to touch him there again. His touches are cautiously light, guided by Billy’s minute reactions. He holds Billy loosely, gently, until Billy calms, sobs reduced to sniffles.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve asks. Billy doesn’t speak; doesn’t move. He lays there, broken body collapsed in Steve’s arms. Steve knows what happened — not the details, never the details, but he understands, and he understands when Billy shakes his head against Steve’s shoulder, no, his face still buried there, salty tears drying against Steve’s skin and Billy’s own. “Okay,” Steve says. He threads his fingers in Billy’s hair, holds Billy close to him. “What can I do?” he asks when Billy lapses back into silence.

“Just…” Billy clears his throat. He sighs, his breath warm on Steve’s skin. He presses himself against Steve and Steve adjusts his grip, mindful of the bruising, the still-bloody cuts, the scars raised thick beneath Billy’s shirt. “Just let me lay here?” Billy asks, voice small and childlike.

“Okay,” Steve says, turning slightly so that he can kiss Billy’s temple. “Yeah,” he agrees, lips brushing Billy’s skin. “As long as you need.”

[zuko-always-lies]

The Values that the Fire Nation Adults in “Zuko Alone” Teach the Children

The Fire Nation adults in “Zuko Alone” deliberately and non-deliberately, through actions, words, and examples, extol a complex set of toxic and imperialist values to Zuko and Azula. Foremost in teaching imperialist values is Princess Ursa. In order to understand more about what precisely Zuko and Azula might have soaked in from their environment, I thought it would be useful to go through the episode scene by scene and note which values were being propagated in the setting where they grew up. Much more under the cut.

Exhibit 1

Zuko: Hey mom, want to see how Azula feeds turtle ducks? (He throws the rocks at one of the baby turtle ducks, which disappears beneath the surface of the pool.) Ursa: (shocked) Zuko! (cut to a frontal shot of Zuko, Ursa continues o.c.) Why would you do that? (Cut back to the surface of the pond. The baby turtle duck bobs back up to the surface unhurt; his shell protected him from the rock. The baby blinks and shakes his head as its mother swims into the frame to make sure the baby is okay. Once sure of this, she swerves and attacks Zuko loudly. She jumps out of the pond and bites Zuko's foot. The young Prince yells in pain. Ursa removes the angry turtle duck and drops her back into the pond. She swims away with one final squawk of protest, her babies in tow.) Zuko: Stupid turtle duck, why'd she do that? (Zuko hugs his knees and looks sullen. His mother sits next to him.) Ursa: Zuko, that's what moms are like. (putting her arms around her son) If you mess with their babies, (she makes a biting sound for effect) they'll bite you back. (She hugs Zuko and he laughs.

Values(Extoled by Ursa):

1. Mothers should protect their children.

2. You should be kind to animals.

Exhibit 2

Azula: Mom, can you make Zuko play with us? We need equal teams to play a game. Zuko: (emphatically) I am not cart wheeling. Azula: You won't have to. Cart wheeling's not a game, (under her breath) dumb dumb. Zuko: I don't care. I don't want to play with you. Azula: We are brother and sister. (her voice becoming sickly sweet) It's important for us to spend time together. Don't you think so, mom? Ursa: Yes darling, (to Zuko) I think it's a good idea to play with your sister. Go on now, (she fluffs Zuko's head a few times) just for a little while.

Values(Extoled by Ursa):

1. Brothers and sisters should get along with each other.

Exhibit 3

Iroh: (voice over) If the city is as magnificent as its wall, Ba Sing Se must be something to behold. (cut to a younger Iroh sitting at a desk, flanked by two guards, writing the letter) I hope you all may see it someday, if we don't burn it to the ground first. (He laughs at this, then cut back to a frontal shot of Ursa, the letter scroll spread open in the foreground, with Zuko and Azula on either side. They laugh with Iroh at this comment.) Ursa: (reading the letter) "Until then, enjoy these gifts. For Zuko, (cut to Zuko running over and picking up a dagger offered by a servant on some sort of tray) a pearl dagger from the general who surrendered when we broke through the outer wall. Note the inscription (Zuko unsheathes the dagger) and the superior craftsmanship." Zuko: (reading the inscription) "Never give up without a fight." (The shot pans right to show Azula standing in front of another servant. He offers her something on a tray.) Ursa: "And for Azula, a new friend. She wears the latest fashion for Earth Kingdom girls." (As Ursa speaks, Azula picks up a doll wearing Earth Kingdom green. The Princess makes a face of disgust.) Azula: If Uncle doesn't make it back from war, then dad would be next in line to be Fire Lord, wouldn't he? (In the background, Zuko runs around practicing with his new dagger.) Ursa: (disappointed) Azula, we don't speak that way. It would be awful if Uncle Iroh didn't return. And besides, Fire Lord Azulon is a picture of health. Zuko: How would you like it if cousin Lu Ten wanted dad to die? Azula: I still think our dad would make a much better Fire Lord than (looking at the doll with disdain) his royal tea loving kookiness.

Values:

1(Ursa+Iroh). Imperialism is a good thing(the whole gifts thing in particular is a huge exercise in that).

2 (Ursa+Iroh). The idea of burning to death large numbers of “inferiors”(Earth Kingdom civilians) is hilarious.

3 (Ursa). You should show the utmost respect to the Firelord, the line of succession, and your older relatives.

Exhibit 4

Ursa: Your father has requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon. Best clothes, hurry up. Azula: (mocking) Fire Lord Azulon. Can't you just call him "Grandfather"? He's not exactly the powerful Fire Lord he used to be. Someone will probably end up talking his place soon. Ursa: (crossly) Young lady! Not, another, word. (Azula runs past) What is wrong with that child?

Values(Ursa):

1. You should show the utmost respect to the Firelord.

Exhibit 5

Ozai: And how was it Great Grandfather Sozin managed to win the battle of Han Tui? Zuko: Great Grandfather won, because... (struggling) Azula: Because even though his army was outnumbered, he cleverly calculated his advantages. The enemy was downwind and there was a drought. Their defenses burned to a crisp in minutes. Ozai: Correct my dear. Now, won't you show Grandfather the new moves you demonstrated to me? (Azula stands and performs a series of firebending moves. A shot of Ozai's lower face shows his stony countenance turn to a slight smile at his daughter's performance. Zuko looks on, an uncertain expression on his face.) Ozai: She's a true prodigy. Just like her Grandfather for whom she's named. (Azula sits back down next to Zuko.) Azula: (whispering to Zuko) You'll never catch up. (Stung, Zuko gets up and addresses the Fire Lord.) Zuko: I'd like to demonstrate what I've been learning. (Cut back to Ozai's face, which turns rapidly to a frown. Zuko tries to run through some of the same moves as Azula but with evidently less skill. After a few moments, he chokes on the routine and falls on his backside. He recovers and finishes the routine as his mother looks on in concern. Azula looks on her brother's failure with glee. Ursa rushes over to him.) Zuko: (dejected) I failed. Ursa: No, I loved watching you. That's who you are Zuko. (cut to Zuko looking up at his mother with wide eyes) Someone who keeps fighting even though it's hard.

Values(Ozai):

1. Knowledge of battle strategies and the Fire Nation’s past conquests is very important.

2. Firebending prowess is incredibly important.

Values(Ursa):

1. You should not give up and keep trying at something, even when you are bad at it.

2. The firstborn son is more valuable for trying and failing than the second-born daughter is for succeeding.

3. You should continue trying to meet the toxic expectations of the court/your father.

Exhibit 6:

Azulon: Say what it is you want. Ozai: Father, revoke Iroh's birthright. I am your humble servant, here to serve you and our nation. Use me. Azulon: (leaning forward and pointing a finger at Ozai, who now kneels before him) You dare suggest I betray Iroh? My first born? (the fire in the trenches rises up into the frame from below, mirroring the Fire Lord's anger) Directly after the demise of his only beloved son? I think Iroh has suffered enough. But you, your punishment has scarcely begun!

and

Azula: Fine, don't believe me, but I heard everything. Grandfather said dad's punishment should fit his crime. (imitating Azulon) "You must know the pain of losing a first born son, by sacrificing your own!"

Values(Ozai):

1. Duty to the Nation and to the Firelord is of the utmost importance.

Values(Azulon):

1. Firstborn sons are more important than other children.

2. Extraordinarily harsh punishments for transgressions(particularly for failing to respect the line of succession) are normal.

Exhibit 7

Ursa: Zuko, please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done, (she hugs him) I've done to protect you. Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.

Values(Ursa):

1. Mothers should protect their children.

2. Remain true to yourself.

Exhibit 8

Fire Sage: (voice over at first) Azulon, Fire Lord to our nation for 23 years. You were our fearless (cut to a shot tilting up showing the Fire Sage with Azulon's gold sarcophagus behind him) leader in the battle of Gar Sai. Our matchless conqueror of the Hu Sin provinces. You were father of Iroh. Father of Ozai. Husband of Ila, now passed. Grandfather of Lu Ten, now passed. Grandfather of Zuko and Azula.

Values:

1. Imperial conquest is a good thing.

Thus, by examining this episode scene by scene, we can gain an understanding of how the Fire siblings grew up in an environment where toxic and imperialist values were standard and propagated by every adult. This goes a long way to explaining their later behavior and decisions.

[stiltonbasket]

Can we have a hundred day celebration for Shuilan in renouncement? Would love to see Wangxian happily showing off their baby and the everyone being KO’d by her cuteness.

If anyone had told Wei Wuxian what his future would hold five years ago, he would have laughed at the impossibility, and then dug a hole for himself in his favorite radish patch until Wen Qing came along to fetch him. 

How strange it would have sounded to the Yiling Laozu holding court in the Burial Mounds, scraping by on thin luobo stew and the odd egg from market to feed A-Yuan, that one day a child of his would receive the blessings of all the Lan sect the moment she came into the world, and again thrice over at her hundred-day feast! It scarcely seems real to him now, after more than a year as Lan Zhan’s husband and the Lan Clan’s Xinhua-jun, and the sight of his richly dressed reflection in the looking glass bewilders him so much that he scarcely registers it when Lan Zhan materializes behind him with A-Lan in his arms.

“A-Lan looks so sweet, Lan Zhan,” he laughs, when his husband reaches out to touch his elbow--in a gesture that means come back, xingan, for I am here beside you, and you need never want for anything again. “She’s sparkling almost as much as you are.”

Lan Zhan dressed the baby in a tiny, glittering robe covered with beaded flowers, and whenever the light falls upon her little body, A-Lan glows like a moonlit pearl: so cool and soft and calm that Wei Wuxian can scarcely look away from her, even after the hundred-day feast is well underway in the banquet hall. He and Lan Zhan hold the seats of honor today, rather than Lan Xichen, and Xiao-Yu sits close beside them with his fluffy hair tied up into two pigtails.

“May I hold her, Hanguang-jun?” a kindly matron from the Cheng sect asks. Lan Zhan nods, and Lan-bao is swiftly transferred into Cheng-er-furen’s arms: puzzled by her sudden ascent, certainly, but happy enough to blink her big eyes up at Second Lady Cheng and coo like a roosting pigeon.

“Oh,” Cheng-er-furen gasps, as A-Lan kicks her tiny feet in their pink satin shoes. “Xinhua-jun, she’s beautiful.”

Wei Wuxian feels his heart quiver in his breast. “They say that one beauty recognizes another,” he says gravely, laughing out loud when Lady Cheng’s cheeks flush red. “Lan-bao can already tell, Lan Zhan, don’t you think?”

Lan Zhan presses his lips together and refuses to answer, but Wei Wuxian can see them twitching up at the corners. “That means he agrees with me,” he teases, as Cheng-furen slips a red packet into Xiao-Yu’s hands and kisses the toe of A-Lan’s little sock. “Don’t you, xingan?”

Lady Cheng rolls her eyes at their flirting and passes down the line with a smile, yielding her place to the next guest before going to find a seat at the banquet table.

“Ah, Wei-xiong,” the next well-wisher sighs, snapping open his favorite fan and holding it out to the baby. “A-Lan’s gathered quite a crowd today, hasn’t she?”

“Well, we did limit the full-moon ceremony to only our friends and family,” Wei Wuxian points out. As far as social events go, A-Lan’s full moon was one of the most exclusive gatherings of the year, open to members of the Lan sect and only by invitation to guests outside the Cloud Recesses; Ouyang Zizhen was generally envied as the sole attendee unconnected to Wei Wuxian by sect or familial ties, though he would have been invited anyway as Ouyang-zongzhu’s heir. “Lan Zhan was worried that we might fall ill during the monsoon season, so of course we had to invite everyone now that the weather’s turned warm again.”

Huaisang gives a meditative nod and lets A-Lan chew on the handle of his fan. “Lan-bao doesn’t have any teeth,” he yawns, when Wei Wuxian stares at the fan in disbelief and tries to pull it out of the baby’s mouth. “She can gum on my fan all she wants, I doubt she can put a dent in it.”

But the fan loses its charm before long, and A-Lan starts fussing in her blue satin wrap and refuses to settle until Wei Wuxian picks her up. The next group of guests offers their good-wishes one by one, leaving behind gifts like red packets and jade pendants and enough books to set up a new wing in the Library Pavilion; and a little while later, a shy two-year-old wanders up with his mother and presents a clumsily-carved dizi, just the right size for a toddler about as old as he is.

“I married out of the Cloud Recesses, so I live with my husband in Caiyi now,” the mother explains, as her son looks into Lan-bao’s crib with big eyes and makes soft cooing sounds in a clear attempt to play with her. “He runs a woodworking shop, so when we heard about the invitation to Lan-xiao-guniang’s hundred-day, Fang’er asked him to help carve a dizi for her.”

Wei Wuxian is so thoroughly charmed that he promises to stop by the woodworking shop later in the month, and present little Lan Fang--who seems to have taken his mother’s name, to retain his connection to her sect--with a learning dizi of his own.

“You can never begin too early,” Lan Zhan offers, catching Xiao-Yu by the sleeve to stop him from feeding his spicy peanut snacks to Lan Fang. “Does he prefer the flute above other instruments, furen? If so, he could come to the Cloud Recesses to study alongside Xiao-Yu when Wei Ying starts his music lessons.”

Wei Wuxian flinches, wondering if Lan Zhan has lost his senses--because what good mother would send her son to learn the dizi from the infamous Yiling Patriarch, even if he had been redeemed in the eyes of the gentry by his marriage to Lan Wangji? But Lan Fang’s mother is already nodding, looking fondly at Xiao-Yu as he offers Fang’er a bite of tangyuan, and the look in her eyes when she turns to Wei Wuxian is full of nothing but happiness.

“Xiao-Fang doesn’t get along very well with the children in Caiyi,” she sighs. “But he’ll surely come to study here one day, so if I could send him and know that Xiao-Yu-gongzi would look out for him--”

“Xiao-Yu will!” A-Yu exclaims, grabbing Lan Fang’s hand. “He’ll be A-Yu’s shidi!”

Lan Fang is more interested in doting on A-Lan, but Xiao-Yu is delighted by the prospect of having a junior sect brother, and tells the next ten people in line that he has become a shixiong now.

All in all, A-Lan’s hundred-day feast goes off without a hitch, and Wei Wuxian is nearly in tears at the sweetness of it all by the time Jiang Cheng arrives with a set of silver baby jewelry.

“A-Cheng, you shouldn’t have,” he chuckles, ducking his head so that Lan Zhan can pat his eyes with a cool handkerchief. “Lan-bao has enough jewelry for a new set every day, by now!”

“This isn’t just any set of jewelry,” Jiang Cheng informs him, motioning his head disciple to come forward and open the flat jewel-cases to reveal necklaces, bangles, ankle-bracelets and a longevity lock encrusted with silver beads.

Upon closer inspection, Wei Wuxian discovers that each tiny bead is a miniature clarity bell, etched with the Jiang sect lotus blossom and reinforced with so many protective charms that the collected set must have cost a small fortune.

“Didi,” Wei Wuxian begins, trying in vain to swallow the lump in his throat. “This, this is--”

“She won’t be able to wear these for long, but you could get them disassembled and extended with plain silver when she’s older,” his brother interrupts. “But A-Shuai says you should put them into storage when A-Lan gets older, because heaven knows I can’t afford another set.”

Lan Zhan frowns. “Why would we need another set?”

Jiang Cheng fixes him with a pointed stare, and Wei Wuxian feels his cheeks turn crimson when he finally gets the hint.

(Three years later, A-Lan’s hundred-day clarity jewels are passed down to a newborn baby sister, and no one is more pleased than her adoring jiujiu when Wei Chunyang wears them at her own full moon celebration.)

[berrymoos]

OH MY GOODNESS!!! The way you have now put Steve liking baking into my head it’s all I can think about!!! He would be the sweetest little shyst guy about it too

He goes over to the Byers with a cake for Johnny and is all soft spoken about how he knows strawberry flavor is Johnathans favorite. Joyce is the one he’s talking to about all the baking stuff and she’s freaking melting because this big guy she’s seen swing a bat full of nails at monsters is getting blushed about how much frosting he put and how he put little pearl sprinkles around the boarder of the cake

Cg!Joyce talking to little!steve about baking while they wait for Johnny and nance to get home >>>>🥹🥹🥹

BAKER BOY STEVE OUR BELOVED <33

YEA YEA YEAA he's like standing reaaal close to robin if she went w him (bc she knows how shy he is ofc) explainin "mmm well ... starbie is jonny's favrit n uhh ... the pearls are jus pretty an .. mm, uhm .. i like fostin so i put a lot becus .. becus jonny's my frien so he gets lotsa fostin..." in a quiet mumbly voice (*´˘`*)♡ joyce & robin are melting into puddle ohmygod he's a sweetheart oh goodness THEM

after a bit of them conversing abt cakepops & their favorite kind of cookies, the door starts opening aaaand ... jonathan and nancy appear!! :D steve is so excited to show them the cake but he's also shy so after all of their greetings n such, joyce nods to steve: "he's got a little surprise for you, jon (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧"

jon's like "oh?" so steve hops up from the couch, grabs his arm, & leads him to the kitchen where the extra frosted cake is awaiting him ... and dear god he's so so grateful & pleasantly surprised! it's like WOAH is it for his birthday or smth — even tho his birthday is in the fall lmaosidjsi

ooo ok to add a regression spin to jon: jonathan's been feeling like he's gonna regress all day (but it's been from positive triggers!! he got to feed ducks today even tho it wasn't what he was planning on doing & a whole rabbit came up & sniffed him before bouncing away & he managed to get a picture of it & he got to do all of that with nancy!!), so seeing this cake knowing it was made for him — even tho he deff plans on sharing it — pushes him over that edge & oh wow now he's Babey ehe (ˊ˘ˋ*)

sooo now there r TWO little ones around the house, & they are eating CAKE with the CGS & it is a happy, HAPPY day!!!

[liltaz-asatreat]

Day 30 of @taznovembercelebration : Obvious, love

.

.

Love is a powerful force. It’s an intangible element just as real as earth, water, air, fire, and magic. In my long life, I’ve seen it create and destroy and die and get reborn again and again and again. It’s held creatures close together and torn them apart and brought them back together in a twisted turn of fate. It’s caused wars and brought life, negotiated peace and brought strife, and it’s saved the lives and souls of so many, for better or worse. And through thick and thin, love finds us all again and again and again.

Love can be bright, loud, and obvious. It’s shown through Candlenights parties and Midsummer Harvest Festivals. It’s new holidays in strange worlds and a hundred different weddings. It’s kids running around a pearl farm shrieking in joy and listening to a kid babble about his favorite book series. It’s concerts and kisses and projecting joyous art to the reality at large and showing off the talents of the people who made me and my family at home happy and proud.

Love is also subtle and quiet. It’s shown through cooking for your family and carving wooden ducks. It’s tending to another’s plants while they’re away and writing memories for prosperity. It’s card games and girls’ nights and holding on and never letting go. It’s date nights and picnics and caring for each other when your ill. It’s an artist putting all of their heart and soul into a new piece of work, and it’s small puzzle boxes and rosewood rings. It’s checking in on me up on the moon and feeding me songs and compositions while he is away.

It’s holding my baby for a few moments longer and vowing to stay.

Love can make you do terrible things. It’s shown in being tired without a lot of options and trying to choose what’s best to make the struggle end. It’s not listening and making weapons and starting wars, and it’s break downs in communication and withdrawing from your family. It’s getting lost. It’s erasing. And it’s hiding and being afraid to show pain. It’s pushing yourself to your limits and beyond, and it’s asking others to do the same.

It’s finding out I had a baby and then taking it away.

But love also makes you do incredible things. It’s shown in fighting hordes of monsters and escaping a sky full of goop. It’s researching and learning and fighting for your life. It’s standing in the way of danger in the hopes of buying a world a little more time. It’s dying, reviving, surviving, and thriving. It’s never giving up, never letting go, and living against all odds. It’s being the only two left and still bringing everyone back home. It’s curing plant deities and conjuring sentient elementals. It’s bringing everyone back together, eating tacos, and throwing up a barrier that saves us all. It’s getting my baby back and showing it what we do best.

And it’s loving the world, our loved ones, and ourselves, and being loved in return.

[karmicstar]

YEMAYA...

Holy Queen Sea

Yemaya, Queen of the Sea, epitomizes motherhood and rules all issues pertaining to women. She is among the most powerful and beloved of the Seven African Powers, the sexy matriarch of the Yoruba spirits known as orishas. The translation of her name, “The Mother Whose Children are Fish” has dual implications:

• Yemaya’s children are innumerable: she is the mother of most of the orishas.

• Her generosity and benevolence have also garnered her countless human devotees, equivalent to the innumerable fish of the sea.

Yemaya has profound associations with the sea and saltwater. She resides in the sea, she is the spirit of the sea, and she is the sea, literally present in ocean water. Her nature resembles that of the sea: profound, beautiful, filled with treasure and generosity but also potentially tempestuous. Yemaya generously bestows abundance, wealth, healing, love, and fertility, but she is also the essence of tidal waves and rip currents.

Yemaya, a profoundly powerful orisha, may be petitioned for:

• Anything possibly considered a “woman’s issue”

• Fertility and reproductive issues

• Protection from domestic violence, which she despises

• Protection when traveling over the sea

However, those who develop an especially close relationship with Yemaya must be extra cautious when actually near the sea. Communicate with her constantly when in the water or beside it. Remind her that you are human and must live on land. Yemaya doesn’t intend to cause harm but likes to keep everything she loves—her treasures—near her.

Once upon a time, Yemaya lived in the cemetery and Oya in the sea. Yemaya tricked Oya into permanently trading places. Oya has never entirely forgiven her. Do not feed or venerate them side by side. Leave some distance between these two powerful orishas.

Yemaya is syncretized to the Stella Maris and the Black Madonna of Regla.

Favored people:

Anyone of African descent whose ancestors survived the Middle Passage to the West may consider their connection to Yemaya established. It is traditionally believed that anyone who survived did so through her grace, while those who did not survive were received into her body.

Yemaya also protects:

• Women and children

• Practitioners of the occult

• Those born under water signs, especially Cancers

Also known as:

Yemalla; Yemoja; Yemalia; Yemaja; Iemanja

Origin:

Yoruba (Nigeria)

Classifications:

Orisha; Mermaid

Manifestations:

Whether manifesting as woman or mermaid, Yemaya is always spectacularly beautiful. She can be sexually provocative with a rolling, hip-swaying walk that evokes the sea. Her traditional costume includes seven skirts. Her hair, clothes, and body may be ornamented with crystals, pearls, coral, or tiny bells.

Attributes:

Seashells, marine motifs

Emblem:

Star and half moon; Yemaya is the only orisha associated with two heavenly bodies—one isn’t sufficient to represent her beauty.

Colors:

Blue, white

Birds:

Doves, ducks, peacocks

Creatures:

Fish, all sea creatures

Element:

Water

Metal:

Silver

Number:

7

Planet:

Moon, which controls the sea

Plants:

> Indigo, seaweed, water hyacinth

Minerals:

Quartz crystal, pearls, coral

Places:

Originally the spirit of Nigeria’s Ogun River, her profound associations with the ocean may have coincided with the African slave trade.

Day:

Saturday

Time:

• 2 February

• Summer Solstice •15 August (Brazil)

• 7 September (Cuba)

• New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Midnight, the threshold between years, is her power moment.

Altar:

Devotees traditionally visit her at the ocean, bearing gifts. Alternatively, create an altar for Yemaya featuring saltwater and ocean motifs at home. Yemaya’s shrine should evoke the sea. Decorate it with nets, seashells, sea stars, and sea horses. Add salted water to a crystal glass containing small seashells.

Offerings:

Jewelry, perfume, brand new scented soap still in its wrapper; flowers, especially white roses. Yemaya’s favorite food offerings include wet seedy fruits like pomegranates and watermelon plus fish, duck, and lamb dishes. She likes to snack on pork cracklings, plantain or banana chips and pound or coconut cake. Garnish everything with generous libations of molasses. Gifts on behalf of the marine environment and sea creatures may also please her.

HOW TO PETITION YEMAYA

• Summon her with a gourd rattle.

• Petition her at the beach.

• Can’t get to the beach? Yemaya’s fellow water spirit, Oshun, spirit of sweet waters, will accept offerings on her behalf. Deposit gifts for Yemaya in flowing streams or rivers. Nothing is free, however: if utilizing Oshun’s services, be sure to speak to her first, explaining that you would like her to deliver your offering to Yemaya. Bring Oshun an appropriate gift, too.

YEMAYA CLEANSING SPELL

Re-create the sea: add sea salt to spring water.

• Murmur over it. Tell the water your goals and what you seek. Invoke, petition, or pray to Yemaya.

• Sprinkle the water over your naked body from head to toe using your fingers or a roseMary branch.

• Let the water remain on your body for a little while, and then gently pat yourself dry with a brand-new clean white towel or cloth.

• Put on clean clothes.

• Take the cloth to the sea with seven white roses; throw everything in the water.

• Walk away and don’t look back.

Although there is one Yemaya, she also has multiple paths, which may be venerated independently. Alternatively they may be understood as different facets of one extremely complex, profound goddess. Yemaya’s different paths are symbolized by different shades of blue (and sometimes by unique attributes). The particular hue represents each path’s specific natureand home. Thus the aspects of Yemaya who live closest to land or the water’s surface are represented by paler shades than those dwelling in the depths. Aggressive, violent aspects of Yemaya also claim the color red.

The following are but a few of her many aspects:

YEMAYA ASESUN

Yemaya Asesun, an ancient path of Yemaya, is Queen of Water Birds including ducks, geese, and swans. She rules the springs that gush forth from Earth, especially in deep forests.

Color:

Light blue

YEMAYA ASHAGBA

Yemaya Ashagba, “The Chain,” is Olokun’s first child and may be the oldest, most primordial aspect of Yemaya. (See Yembo below.) Queen of the Anchor, Yemaya Ashagba connects the bottom of the sea with the top. She is a spirit of divination and healing. When angered, floods, and tidal waves are her weapons.

Attribute:

Anchor

Color:

Light blue

YEMAYA ATAREMAWA

Yemaya Ataremawa, the queen who is ever so important, owns all treasures of the sea. She has a home in the forest.

Color:

Light blue

YEMAYA IBU AGANA

Yemaya Ibu Agana is a wrathful aspect of Yemaya who lives at the bottom of the sea where she churns destruction.

Color:

Deep blue

YEMAYA IBU ARO

Yemaya Ibu Aro distributes treasure. She controls trade routes and markets.

Colors:

Indigo blue, red coral

YEMAYA MAYALEWO

Yemaya Mayalewo, Queen of the Harbor, the One Who Tends to Commerce and Trade, lives at the bay’s entrance. She is queen of the marketplace, Oya’s prime competitor.

Color:

Light blue, teal

YEMAYA OGUNTé

Yemaya Ogunté is Warrior Yemaya: the courageous, fearless warrior who fights alongside Ogun. She lives on rocky, treacherous coastlines and wears a crown of seven machetes.

Color:

Midnight blue, red

YEMAYA OKOTO

Yemaya Okoto, the Pirate Queen, causes shipwrecks and drags ships and treasure down to the ocean floor. Her name means “the one who lives amongst the seashells.” Her crown is a shark’s jawbone. She clenches a dagger between her teeth. She rules all predatory marine creatures who serve as her messengers and servants, possibly including human pirates. Yemaya Okoto fills the sea with blood. The Red Sea is her official hideout, but she sails where she chooses. (To complicate matters further, Yemaya and her daughter, love goddess Oshun, may be alter-egos of Lady Asherah, another Red Sea Queen and her daughter, love goddess Astarte.) She is also known as Yemaya Ibu Okoto.

Color:

Indigo, navy blue, blood red

Altar:

Decorate with Jolly Rogers and pirate flags

YEMBO

Yembo may be Yemaya’s mother or the oldest form of Yemaya. Yembo may be the mother of the orishas. Because Ogun allegedly raped her, metal knives are not permitted in her presence or used in her offerings. Substitute crystal, stone, or wood

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (January 25/2021) - The Egg’s Victims

Two people fall prey to the Egg today, as Badboyhalo and Antfrost continue to spread the seeds throughout the SMP lands, growing the Egg’s influence more and more.

Though Puffy’s rescue mission for Sam seems to be a success, he’s acting a bit different...And now Ponk has been taken in as well.

---

- Tubbo prepares for the upcoming nuke test. Niki is doing preparations as well.

- Tubbo wants to build a tunnel from Snowchester mainland to the test site.

- Fundy comes to visit and asks if he can help.

- Puffy comes online to try and rescue Sam from the Egg. She’s very freaked out and starts preparing some supplies for the mission.

- Tommy comes online while Puffy is going to get Prime water to help. She wonders if he should know, but doesn’t want to put extra stress on him.

- She’s disgusted that the Egg would commit a hate crime by infecting L���Targay.

- Tommy meets with Puffy at L’Targay, asking where Sam Nook has gone. 

- Sam wakes up in the obsidian cage, sounding a little dazed. He tried to break the blocks but couldn’t seem to finish it. He’s suffering, trapped inside. Sam sends a message to the others.

- Tommy presses the button in the Meeting Room and yeets himself in, falling to his death. Sam picks up the Ender Pearls, but seems too confused to use them. He watches as they make their way through the chamber to the obsidian.

- They break him out of the cage and he gives Tommy back his things.

- Sam tells the story about how he was trapped and ran out of food. The Egg forced him to drop his things before his flesh started falling off so that he could eat it.

- He just wants to go home. He starts wandering in the wrong direction and they try to lead him the right way.

- It’s raining, and Sam says he’s cold. They make it to the Holy Land. Sam keeps repeating that he needs to go home. He wants to be with Fran.

- They bring Sam through the Nether to his house.

- There’s a Crimson seed in the middle of his hall. Sam wanders over to it. 

- He goes down to where he kept Fran and goes to be with her, saying he feels better.

- Sam drinks the Prime water. He says he feels like maybe the Egg wasn’t as big of a deal as he first thought...

- Puffy and Tommy return home. They see Ranboo in Enderman mode wandering around. Sam Nook has returned to his usual spot.

- Tommy speaks with Sam Nook. Puffy decides she definitely needs to work on that therapy office because this server needs help. 

- Puffy starts looking around for Ranboo. She encounters him walking down the Prime Path. He seems to be in Enderman mode.

- Sam sends Tommy on a mission to find some cats as Puffy starts to follow Ranboo around.

- Ranboo hops in the water, then shoots up into the air and disappears. Puffy is very confused.

- Sam Nook asks Tommy for Hearts of the Sea to eat.

- Tommy asks Eret for some Hearts. Eret agrees to give him seven, then one extra, saying that Tommy owes him in the future.

- Tommy and Puffy do a drug deal.

- Puffy tells Antfrost that they saved Sam. Antfrost is a little puzzled. “Saved” Sam? Puffy explains a bit more.

- Puffy baptizes Antfrost with fire, burning him to death for the sake of arson.

- Lil’ Red (Green) has “gone for a walk” and disappeared from Ponk’s Casino.

- Antfrost goes around and surveys the growth of the Blood Vines. He goes down to the Egg Room and gathers five new seeds to plant.

He plants one on the top of Purpled’s UFO.

He plants another in Ponk’s Graveyard.

He plants the next on top of Purpled’s Real Estate Office.

Then the next two in the pools at Bad and Skeppy’s mansion.

The last one is placed on top of Puffy’s duck.

- He then gathers meat to feed the Vines with.

- Antfrost says they need the Egg to cover everything. Including Snowchester as well. 

The Egg is what will bring peace to the server.

The Egg will allow the Badlands to control the server so that they can make sure nothing bad ever happens again.

Puffy and Sam are misguided, but they will learn the better way.

- Antfrost and Badboyhalo get Ponk into the Meeting Room and get him to stand on top of the trap.

- Ponk is sent down into the Egg chamber. He’ll be staying there for a while. There’s also the possibility of them trying to get Purpled to act as a hunter for them.

- Ant and Bad then question how to get Puffy to fall in line. Antfrost suggests they try getting to her through Foolish, her adoptive son...

- They talk about Technoblade. They know he wouldn’t be the biggest fan of the Eggpire, governments and all, but perhaps they could find some common ground with the Egg specifically? The Egg isn’t a government, after all. It’s just the Egg.

They decide to schedule a meeting with him sometime.

- They set up propaganda while Ponk talks in the background occasionally.

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[kisskissbanggang]

Prowl pt. 5

[1Hr. Read/17.4K Words – Human!Jisung x Female Reader, Werewolf!Bang Chan x Female Reader – Monsters!AU, Mostly Plot, NSFW/Smut – Vampires & Werewolves, Mysteries, Suspense, Love Triangles, Jealousy, Developing Feelings, Questionable Coping, Feeding, Blood, Violence, Driven by Instinct, Confessions, Death, Wall Sex, Car Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Public Sex]

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. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : 🌕 ⭒ 🌗 ⭒ 🌑 : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“My little fox,” Chan grinned, “I thought I smelled trouble.”

Your blood ran cold despite the meager clothing you were wearing on the landing, and apparently the others sensed yours and Jisung’s sudden alert at the ghost currently haunting the doorway. However, when you looked behind you, Jisung was nowhere to be seen. There was no time for waiting, though; you stalked down the stairs and tried to shove Chan and Felix back out the door. 

“I do not know what the fuck you think you’re doing here,” you hissed, “but it would be in your best interest to get the hell out.”

“It would be in your best interest if we stayed,” Chan shook his head defiantly, “even if you did try to kill me.”

He had the audacity to scoff out a harsh laugh as you grabbed for Lia’s shotgun by the door, but this was quickly pulled right out of your hands. You wheeled around to see Lia holding the gun down by her side. 

“Sweetheart,” Lia interjected, her words injected with saccharine propriety. She would’ve tried to shake hands with death before going anywhere, you were sure of it. Judy and Yuna were holding hands where they hid behind the shorter woman, standing tall even as her voice wavered. “Who is this?” 

“Remember how I’ve been in some trouble lately?” You glowered. That was all that needed to be said, apparently. Lia was instantly on your side, shooting a glare in Chan’s direction as she raised the head of the gun a couple inches but kept her finger off the trigger. 

“I agree, then,” she announced, “I think you’d do well to leave now.”

“Julia, I need to explain something,” Chan tried, hands up in innocence, “I promise I’m not here with any ill-intent against you.”

Lia backed up a step, her eyes darting back to meet yours as you both silently wondered where he learned her name. Before you could follow this line of questioning, though, Jisung made his presence known as he marched down the stairs. Felix’s startled gasp surprised you, and you turned to see what he was reacting to. Your stomach lurched again, threatening to repeat its betrayal from earlier. Jisung held his own gun aloft, the ornate pearl handle clutched in his hand with the barrel pointed squarely at Chan. “We made ourselves pretty fucking clear,” Jisung spat, “and you’ve done more than enough damage already. Get the hell out.”

“I’ve done more than enough damage?” Chan sneered as he snatched Jisung’s wrist, effortlessly twisting it until Jisung let go of the revolver with a hissed curse. Chan handed it to Felix to free up his hand. Thinking quickly, you lunged forward, shoving the younger man back and grabbing the gun yourself out of Felix’s presented palm before stepping back next to Lia. 

Chan raised his hands again, but not without reaching into his jacket pocket first. You kept the gun aimed at the floor, finger off the trigger as you eyed him warily. He withdrew the other journal, apparently having found it in the boiler room after all the fuss when you left him to bleed. “I’m in deep shit with the department,” he explained to you, but he still cautiously eyed all the occupants in the room, “I’ve been extending this investigation so long that I’ve lost almost everyone. All my contacts are dropping off the map, all my resources are getting cut off, all of this to try and freeze me out and make me close the case. So this,” he gestured with the journal, “was a blessing. I was able to cross-reference every name and place in here with Shepherd’s record, your record, and even his.” Chan stared daggers at Jisung, who quickly stepped behind you now that he was defenseless again, before Chan looked to Lia now. “You’ve only gone by your real name again in the past ten years, haven’t you? You attended the university as your own granddaughter.”

Lia cautiously eyed Chan before she looked back to you. You were just as stuck. Lia sighed. “What are you asking for exactly?”

“I’ve been with the latest pack trying to get Shepherd’s help. They’ve done everything he’s asked, which means they’ve left quite a bit of damage behind them that hasn’t been accounted for. I want to get to them before they try to finish what they started. I’m here because if they’re as smart as I’m afraid they are, they shouldn’t be far behind me.”

“Is Lia even mentioned in the other journal at all?” You countered. 

“The journals are mixed,” Jisung sighed behind you, “literally. When Shepherd completed both volumes, it looked like he unbound the two and mixed the sections into two new bindings.”

“Fine,” Lia decided. All of you stopped to look at her. “If it’ll help stop this once and for all, you can stay. We’ll put you in the guest room by the study… But stay away from my girls.”

“Had no intention of getting close,” Chan reassured her before he tugged at the hood of Felix’s jacket, “and thank you.” Felix gave Judy another grateful smile before Chan pulled him outside. 

You wheeled on the poor girl as the front door clicked shut. She cowered by Lia’s arm. “Why did you let them in?!”

“I didn’t know—” she squeaked. 

“You didn’t know?! They reek of wolves and—”

“Sweetheart,” Lia scolded you with a deep frown as she stepped in front of Judy. She gently set the shotgun back down by the door. “It’s raining outside. You can hardly smell anything out there. I’ve protected Judy and her sister as long as they’ve been here, so they’ve still never even had to meet a wolf before. They wouldn’t know what one smells like.”

“I’m sorry,” Judy meekly apologized from behind Lia’s shoulder. You heaved out a sigh. 

“It’s alright,” you lamented, “you didn’t know. I’m sorry, too.”

“We’re all sorry,” Lia placated, “now let’s deal with this. Take that—” she said as she pointed to the gun still in your hand, “and put it the hell away. Jisung, I hope I never have to see it again.”

“Yes, Lia,” Jisung weakly agreed. He grabbed your sleeve and pulled you upstairs before ducking into his room to grab his things. You helped gather up his belongings, bundling up the clothes and books he’d left out before trotting back down the hall to your own room. Lia could be heard directing Chan and Felix to their room as you shut your door behind you. Jisung jumped as you finally turned on him. 

“A fucking gun, Jisung?!” You instantly started. 

“I know, I know,” Jisung moaned, “it was reckless and stupid. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Where did you even get this?!”

“I think it was Shepherd’s,” Jisung said quietly, “I found it the night he was killed before the cops came. I have no clue why I took it. It made me feel safe to have it.”

“Do not let me ever see you with this thing again unless you suddenly learn how to use it,” you berated him. You took the gun sitting heavy in your hands and opened the drawer of the bedside table, before setting it inside and slamming it shut. Your hand paused on top of the hardwood surface as you got your thoughts back in order. “How are you feeling?”

“Freaking out a little,” Jisung admitted. “I know it’s stupid.”

“That’s not stupid,” you sighed. You turned to face Jisung, stepping into his space. “Is it him and me?”

Jisung nodded thoroughly.

“I was all yours last night and I’m all yours tonight,” you reminded Jisung before you kissed his cheek in hopes of moving on, before you heard Lia giving Chan a cursory tour of the house outside in the hall. Jisung visibly prickled at the sound. 

“I loved you last night and I love you tonight,” Jisung finally returned with a sigh. “Just… promise me. Promise me you won’t talk to that bastard. We don’t talk to him, and we stay the hell away from him.”

“Had no intention of doing otherwise,” you nodded, brushing your thumb along Jisung’s cheek as you cupped his face. He pulled you close, and your gut finally calmed down enough to feel safe for a moment. 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : 🌗 ⭒ 🌑 ⭒ 🌓 : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

That first night and the next were utterly disconcerting, having apparently been plucked straight from your own personal purgatory. You could only imagine how Lia and the girls felt. They had been living this quiet and secluded life, only having to worry about the occasional boyfriend or blood donor, and now you’d paraded in an entire heap of trouble. Maybe Chan had a point, an idea you fiercely despised. The whole giant house suddenly felt cramped. Your stomach was in more knots than that first night, and each time you woke up you had to sneak away to the en suite to empty your guts. Nothing felt better. 

Not to mention Jisung was a mess. As Chan seemed to finally get back up to speed, walking and working just fine, Jisung was a nervous wreck. He was finally starting to look more put together, his black eye finally faded and a mostly normal glow returning to his skin in the time since Chan worked him over a couple weeks prior. His busted knuckles had faded to simple callouses, and the stitches in his brow weren’t going to scar so badly once you got him to stop picking at them. But that wasn’t the problem. Jisung was hardly leaving your side. The moment you’d found him after waking up, guzzling more coffee than usual in Lia’s kitchen, he would follow you from room to room to room, or join you while you tried to read or get your mind off things. It was night three that you needed to do something about it. 

“Jisung,” you finally started, having led him all the way from your room to the laundry room to grab your dry clothes, and back.

“What?”

“You can not keep following me.”

“I’m not following you,” Jisung forced out with a fake laugh. 

“Jay, please,” you pleaded, dropping the laundry basket onto the bed and cupping Jisung’s face. “Work with me here. You have to tell me what’s wrong. No secrets.”

“It’s nothing!” Jisung tittered, trying to keep it light as he leaned his soft cheek into your palm. “It’s nothing, I’m just hanging out with you! What else would I be doing?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned, “what about the car? You said it needed work, something about the — what was it — the, er—”

“Timing belt?” He flatly answered. 

“Yes!” You replied enthusiastically. “You could be working on the car, or hiking, or—”

“I understand that,” Jisung sighed tiredly, “it’s just, you know—”

“Just what, Jay?”

“Ugh,” Jisung groaned sharply, “it’s you fucking him! I can’t believe I’m admitting it. It was one thing when he was dead and all I could do was get over it but—”

Jisung paused as Chan could be heard berating Felix in the hallway as they walked past. “—I don’t really care, Felix. I’m not doing this to hurt you, I’m telling you because I care and—” Where were they walking come from? They were going towards their room, not coming from it. You looked back to Jisung. He was fuming. 

“If I have to think of that idiot’s hands on you one more time I think I’ll try killing him again myself,” Jisung muttered before he turned away from you, hands roughly shoved in his pockets. You quickly stepped forward as the two men could still be heard quietly arguing down the hall. Trouble had apparently been cropping up everywhere once Chan was back to his old self again. 

“Jisung? Jay? What did I tell you,” you attempted to reason with him as you grabbed his hand. 

“I know, you’re all mine,” he sighed, “but having him be here is god awful and—”

“And nothing, Jisung,” you soothed him. “You’re not going to magically lose me if I’m not in your sight every waking minute. We’re getting past it together. It was the hunger, even though I know that barely matters. I’m all yours.”

Jisung finally softened for a moment, his hand gratefully squeezing yours — that is, until the two wolves could be heard coming back down the hallway. Felix was apparently coming in hot to get his word in. “—don’t understand, Chan. You’re not my dad, you’re not really my brother, and it sounds like the only wrong thing that fucking girl in that fucking room ever did was try to kill you, and I think I’m starting to understand why. Otherwise, all I know about her and her kind is apparently she’s the most perfect fuck you’ve ever had in your life—”

The commotion finally died down when the door to Chan and Felix’s room slammed shut down the hall. Jisung’s face was cryptic as you searched him. “Jisung, I—”

You were cut off into a muffled gasp as Jisung yanked on your hand in his, pulling you into him hard enough that he fell back against the dresser as he desperately kissed you.

“Jisung, talk to me—” you urged him.

“I will, I promise,” Jisung groaned into your mouth as he clutched onto your hips, “I just need you right now, okay?”

He backed up, just a breath away, and his gaze was clouded with whatever maelstrom was taking place inside of him. The mere thought of Jisung being so conflicted over this made your heart crumple in on itself, something you knew you were only coddling as you let him kiss you again. And, really, it was so easy once you realized how much you needed Jisung, too. A shadow lurked in you that you thought was just hunger, whispering to you with that same low voice as before when you had mauled Chan, but what was even louder was the longing that suddenly ripped through you. All you could do was give in to both, kissing Jisung hard in return as he pushed your leggings down and off and grappled you into his arms. 

You couldn’t hear Chan and Felix arguing down the hall anymore, but you probably couldn’t anyway between your shared gasps and sighs while Jisung pinned you up against the wall by your bedroom door, fumbling with his zipper before he could sink into you. He keened at the squeeze of your walls around him with what almost sounded like a sigh of relief, his hands clutching your thigh wrapped around him as you gasped in pleasure against him and let the extending tips of your canines graze his throat. Jisung moaned deep while his hands roamed over you, even leaning his head over to let you gently nip into him while he fucked you into the wall. Just that simple action of you piercing him made him stiffen up, his whole body seemingly holding back from tearing into you once you moaned at the taste of him. As much as you craved the sensation, it was easy to forget how much this apparently felt heavenly to Jisung. Your head swam, a cacophony of wanting Jisung, and wanting to feed on Jisung, and wanting to talk to Jisung all yelling over each other until the first wash of blood ran down your throat. Everything in you turned to static. Jisung sighed out an airy whine of pure satisfaction the moment you came up for air, his hand gently cupping your face again.

“I wish I could tell you just how beautiful you are,” Jisung murmured, his voice soft even as he thrust hard into you, “especially like this. I swear your eyes get darker when you feed. It’s—”

The door down the hall swung back open as Chan apparently followed Felix into the hallway. This was actually torture. “—and that’s fine, Chan, whatever, I’m going to get some fucking fresh air, but if you’d like I could remind you of how I fucking held you while you were trying not to die and all you could do was joke that at least she finished you off before she finished you off—”

“Felix, I—” Chan didn’t finish his thought, apparently deciding that he needed to give Felix his space, but not without punching the bannister out of frustration first. However, his bedroom door didn’t close again, and you didn’t hear him go down the stairs. Jisung apparently couldn’t be bothered to wonder the same, or maybe it was in spite of that which led him to thrust more roughly into you, that unresolved jealousy clearly eating through him as you whined and whimpered once you resumed feeding on him again. 

The way Jisung fit inside you — or even fit inside your life — seemed almost too well meshed when his breaths began to grow ragged the second you felt your peak coming. You finally felt fed, and Jisung looked so beautiful but so conflicted as you finally winced and sighed through your easy orgasm. Jisung held you steady, still pinning you to the wall and not letting up until he got his. 

“Say it again,” he sweetly begged while he dragged his lips along your jaw and throat. You didn’t think twice about it. 

“I’m all yours,” you gasped, and held tight onto him as he clutched tighter onto you in return. Jisung sloppily kissed you again before he spilled into you, his hushed groans almost sounding like laments. Chan could finally be heard stalking down the stairs. 

Jisung was still a mess, obviously, but the impromptu sex seemed to take the edge off, at least physically. You finally got him to give you a little space. The next night you awoke and didn’t find him drinking his fourth cup of coffee in the kitchen. He wasn’t reading in the study or flipping through channels in the den. When you poked your head outside, you could see light coming from the garage. It was nice, sneaking outside and peeking around the corner, catching Jisung rummaging around under the hood of his car, the sleeves of his worn flannel rolled up to his elbows while he listened to the radio. 

Even the next night, again, you found Jisung right back in the garage. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen him at all the previous night, you’d had a fun time playing board games for the first time in years with Lia’s girls, but you wondered if perhaps you overcorrected and now Jisung wouldn’t feel the desire to come see you when you woke up anymore. You silently peered into the garage, catching sight of him as he wiped some sweat off his brow and was careful to avoid his healing stitches with the grease on his arm. Jisung looked almost like he was concentrating, and on more than just the car. You couldn’t blame him. With how relaxed Jisung had seemed just the previous week, back when things were starting to look a little brighter, you could imagine he’d finally felt like this whole nightmare was starting to slow down to a manageable pace. 

You decided to let Jisung have his space for a little bit, at least if he was seeking it out himself now. Out of sheer curiosity, you decided to check out the edge of the lake while the moon was still high up, the bright crescent more than likely lighting up the water in a gorgeous way. You had a sinking feeling that quiet nights like this should be counted as a blessing. Twigs snapped underfoot, and you carefully walked along the path only somewhat lit by dim lanterns, but froze when you noticed someone out by the water’s edge, lounging in one of the worn lawn chairs by the fire pit. 

Chan. 

He was seemingly at ease, or at least attempting to be. Apparently Lia had some beer stowed away in the house that you hadn’t bothered to find yet, but Chan had, unless he had his own secret stash. However he’d conjured the bottle in his hand, he nursed the brew as he brooded. You were brought back to that first night, Chan laughing and hanging out with the pack at the bar. He looked so different in such a short amount of time. 

Since he’d arrived, Chan had been able to clean up considerably, despite the showing roots in his ashy blonde hair. His style seemed to relax since he no longer needed to blend in with the pack or camp out for extended periods of time to keep out of trouble. Even with only a shave and a shower, he was just as handsome as that boy at the bar ages ago. Who could’ve guessed that he nearly died only recently? For that matter, who knew what he had needed to do to become good as new? You shivered at the thought. 

It was sort of calming, watching Chan seemingly not sense that you were observing him as he sat by the lake. You didn’t need to imagine that this wasn’t terribly different from the rest of the day. When you’d asked Jisung in passing, he said the daylight was mostly spent ardently avoiding each other at all costs, minimizing shared space as much as possible and not exchanging any words if necessary, though Felix did seem approachable and friendly in contrast. This was almost humorous, considering Chan didn’t seem to care one bit about you two hanging out with each other now, or even that you existed. No matter how much Jisung was or wasn’t attached to your hip, he barely glanced in your direction. On the rare occasion you did run into Chan in the house, perhaps catching him around a corner, he almost looked mortified to see you. That one puzzled you. 

At most, Jisung caught Chan keeping to himself and finally studying his investigation materials or even tinkering around with the van they’d nabbed. This was understandable, you supposed, even on Chan’s part. You could still hear him barking vitriol about Jisung — the worm, according to him — back in the boiler room. You could still hear how desperately he’d insisted you belonged to each other. He could feel it in his skin, he’d said. He’d sounded possessed, something you were scared to consider if you empathized with. 

And you’d tried to kill him. Maybe he was just as scared and confused as you were. According to Jisung, Felix was even harder to keep track of, that first squabble apparently setting a standard between the two wolves. So, perhaps, now on top of everything else already sitting on his broad shoulders, now Chan was stuck in a house full of people who hated him.

You left Chan to quietly consider the lake by himself before you headed back up to the house, maybe see what the girls were up to or if Jisung was done working on the car for the night. The back door just off the kitchen softly clicked shut behind you when you suddenly heard the harsh whispers of the girls in the entryway. You hung back in the kitchen, listening to the disembodied voices talk. 

“Chae—Judy, you can’t be this selfish over—” Joanne?

“Selfish?!”

“Think rationally, Jude.” Lucy? “Lia almost never has problems like this but this time she does. Think about what she said.” 

“Oh my god, you both are being ridiculous, just like her. Neither of you understand.”

“Neither do you, Judy. Lia said this is dangerous—”

“What about your sister? Think of Yuna—”

“Do not talk about Yuna like that. We’ve looked out for each other ever since she could walk. I would never do anything to put her in danger.”

“We know, Judy, but what if this is putting her in danger and you just don’t know it yet?”

“Stop it, both of you! I love you both, but I don’t have patience for this, from either of you. I’ll be glad to hear whatever Lia has to say if she actually tells me why I should be so concerned.”

Judy and Lucy were apparently left alone as Judy stormed off upstairs, and you peeked around the corner to see if the coast was clear. You could’ve easily ducked in and looked like you hadn’t been eavesdropping, but you shied away as you saw Jisung hopping down the stairs, still toweling his hair off from a shower. You must’ve been watching Chan at the lake longer than you’d thought if he had time to finish his work and get cleaned up. 

“Joanne? Lucy?” Jisung asked curiously as he reached the foyer. The girls turned to face him. You could see them attempt to relax from down the corridor. “Are you two alright? Judy looked… pissed.”

“It’s fine, she’s fine,” Lucy sighed with a nod, her arms folded as if to give herself a reassuring hug.

“We’re fine,” Joanne insisted. “I appreciate you checking on us though.”

“No, come on,” Jisung tutted, “don’t lie. Come talk to me.” He nudged Joanne’s shoulder with his own as he walked with the two girls down the hall towards you. You quickly tensed up and rushed to make it look as if you just happened to already be in the kitchen and weren’t actually listening in. The three appeared glad to see you, and you forced yourself to let your mind relax and enjoy this. You sat in the kitchen, sipping on coffee and catching Jisung up on old stories between you and Lia, even as she herself came down herself to join you with Yuna in tow. It was wonderful, getting to take a moment and enjoy the company of these people you cared for. You just wished it didn’t feel like a blessing. 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : 🌑 ⭒ 🌓 ⭒ 🌕 : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Jisung was still a mess, only a little less on edge about it. Regularly now, he was dragging you into the nearest secluded area once or sometimes even twice a night to feverishly kiss you or — when it was really bad — fuck you until you both were gasping for air. Last night it was after Chan walked in on you both reading on the couch in the study when he was looking for a book, and now you had the shadow of a sizable love bite next to the scar of your real bite to show for it. Jisung said Chan had given you a look, but you didn’t recall ever seeing such a thing. Tonight, where he had pulled you into the den and told you yet again that he needed you, was because of something he hadn’t explained yet. 

It was almost as if Jisung was burying something in you, almost staking his claim if you insisted you were his. Admittedly, it was relieving and good, or else you hopefully wouldn’t let Jisung keep getting away with doing this instead of talking to you. The way Jisung loved you was like nothing you ever got to experience before, and keeping it and maintaining it was sort of becoming precious to you, even though you still weren’t sure if you entirely felt the same. It wasn’t that you felt you didn’t love Jisung — it’s just that you were simply and utterly terrified of that possibility. You already pulled him in this far. Regardless, you occasionally tried to cajole Jisung into opening up more. 

Even now, you slowed your hips as you rode him on one of Lia’s plush easy chairs. “Jay, we can’t keep not talking about this,” you lightly chided, partly from trying not to tire out too quickly, partly from wanting to remain gentle with him.

“What’s to talk about?” He breathlessly asked, now thrusting against his grip on your hips to make up for your dropped pace. “I’m still jealous, he’s still here, and that’s still making it difficult to work it out.”

“Jisung,” you said, more firmly now, and his glazed eyes sparkled a bit when he looked up into yours as you stilled on his lap. “Come on. You came in from outside and were so fired up that you’re still covered in grime.”

It was true. Jisung was in such a hurry that there were now smudges of oily fingerprints on your thighs from the car. You would have to come back and surreptitiously clean the leather upholstery of the easy chair.

“Oh my god, fine,” Jisung groaned. “I’m warning you: it’s stupid.”

“Jay.”

“Alright, alright, jeez,” he laughed tepidly under his breath in a vain attempt to keep things light. Even still, the facade dropped right away as Jisung’s eyes were quickly downcast in embarrassment. “The idiot snuck up on me in the garage.”

“He what?” Your blood boiled. Jisung’s eyes lit up in alarm.

“No! Not like that. He didn’t really sneak up on me—I mean, he did, but he didn’t do it on purpose, and—”

“Oh my god—” a deeper voice gasped into a laugh in the doorway. You both froze now with Jisung’s fingers digging into your waist. Mortified, you peeked over the back of the chair to see Felix let out a surprised guffaw and turn to someone beside him, out of view behind the doorway. It was interesting to hear him be so light, considering you’d barely spoken five words to each other since he arrived. “Okay, so that’s out of the question—” You couldn’t hear much else as Felix and whoever it was promptly scampered back down the hallway.

Jisung let out an amused sigh once you were alone again. “Well, that sucked.”

“Jisung,” you prodded, your patience starting to run thin as you got him back on track. He looked somewhat hurt that you didn’t forget in those 10 seconds.

“I’m getting there,” he whined. “The mutt asked me to help him check out the cylinders in the van.”

“And?”

Jisung chewed on his lip. He looked almost nervous. “And… it was nice. He was nice. I sort of understood the appeal for two seconds. We had a beer, looked at the van… and he suddenly asked how you’re doing, and I made an awful excuse to get away. I couldn’t handle it all of a sudden.”

“Jay,” you sighed, maybe a touch too condescendingly, “is that everything? That almost sounds like a good time.” The excruciating embarrassment in Jisung’s eyes made you soften up a bit. He was clearly struggling with this. Maybe, you mused, he couldn’t get a grip on his instincts. Maybe he was getting a sense of his own monster for once. 

You smoothed your fingers back through his hair and kissed his temple as you resumed riding him again. It felt selfish to admit that it was gorgeous, the way Jisung was so attentive that even these desperate rendezvous never left you longing for your own climax, that he was so good to you that always got yours, and it was that sense of commitment that made you so beholden to him. Even now, as your core squeezed and climbed its peak, you were still just as lost in the moment as ever. 

“I loved you last night and I love you tonight,” Jisung murmured into your shoulder, his breath hitching beautifully and his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to feel out the climax he needed so badly.

“I was all yours last night and I’m all yours tonight,” you soothed. Jisung groaned and tensed at your reassurance, a phrase he seemed to lean on and lean into with each utterance, and soon he held you down against him as you came to a languid yet satisfying finish, your orgasm almost lazy and deep but still flooding heavily through your senses until Jisung followed right behind. 

As you caught your breath, Jisung actually looked more relaxed. This was not as satisfying as you would have liked. Jisung needed to keep trying to push past his neuroticisms, no matter how valid. He leaned softly into your hand as you stroked his hair and brushed your thumb against his cheek. 

“Hey,” you murmured softly to him. “If you think he was being decent, let him be decent. That’s the least we can do, right? Be decent while we’re stuck together?”

“I know,” he sighed. “He even offered to show me how to handle the gun I found—”

“Jisung,” you jokingly scolded him, “don’t you dare consider that for even a second.”

“I know, I know, I know,” he placated, but his smile seemed to relax.

“Do you feel a bit better now?”

Jisung’s mind had seemed to wander for a moment, but he nonetheless looked up at you gratefully when he nodded. 

When you awoke the next night, the first thing you did was check for Jisung in the garage. He wasn’t there. Thankfully, your stomach was feeling cooperative this evening, so you had been able to simply shrug on a jacket over your nightgown after you freshened up. Your fingers absently glided over the scar Rand had left you. It was a minor miracle to not have to deal with nightmares anymore, or else you suspected the pack leader would’ve been populating them. However, that still didn’t stop passing thoughts from invading. It was becoming routine — think about it, wish Jisung didn’t baby you about it with his well-intentioned caress of it each time he got you undressed, and funnel that into your need to destroy Rand if you ever saw him again. You didn’t need a gold star for dealing with it so well, you needed someone to help you sort out that monster. Right now, however, you needed to go find Jisung and see if he wanted to hang out. 

But, as you realized, he wasn’t in the garage. The radio was off, the tools he’d been using were stored away. You considered checking the study before you recalled Jisung saying he found a nice clearing in the woods to read in during the day when the weather was dry. The lanterns mostly lit the way, but the path ran out before you could recount Jisung’s directions as he’d described them to you. A flashlight bobbing in the distance caught your eye, hopefully leading you in the right direction. 

Only it wasn’t Jisung. 

You were careful to mind the moderate ground cover underfoot, cautious of vines and twigs your boots stepped over, but even then you hissed out a curse as you tripped into some brambles and snagged your exposed calf. A fern appeared to have concealed the pointy brush underneath. You considered cutting your little outing short when you finally were able to make out the conversation taking place. You untangled yourself and crept closer. 

“— I can’t believe you’re still going on about this. Tell me why it’s any of your goddamn business!”

“It’s my business because we’re here together, Felix,” Chan sighed. “If you get in trouble then I’ll get in trouble.”

“It’s always fucking trouble with you, isn’t it—”

“Don’t fucking start, Felix. I’m glad Judy is nice, I’m glad you’re in love with her, but this is not good for either of you.”

“Why isn’t it? You still won’t tell me! Whatever you read in that fucking journal was good enough to warn me about but not actually tell me anything.”

“I’m just trying to protect you—”

“There’s nothing to protect me from if you won’t tell me what it is! You don’t understand, Chan. I’ve never felt this way before in my life. I don’t just love her, I belong with her. I’m meant to be with her. I can feel it in my—”

“Skin, right?” Chan stared Felix down, who had stopped his frenzied pacing. “You can feel it in your skin, can’t you. It feels almost like you’ve been in the sun too long and sometimes all you can smell is her, even if she’s not around.”

“If you get it then tell me what I need to be so goddamned scared about.”

Chan was markedly silent. In the meager moonlight and his flashlight bouncing off the trees, you could see Chan shift his weight from foot to foot, his hands going from his hips to folded across his chest. You were so engrossed in their squabble you could almost ignore the trickle of blood falling down into your boot from where the damned brambles had gotten you. 

“That’s what I thought,” Felix scoffed. You ducked back, mindful of the underbrush while turning to watch Felix storm past you and back up to the house. As you turned back to find Chan, though, there was no flashlight beam. There was only darkness. 

You paused in the disquieting night and stared at the spot Chan was just occupying before your eyes quickly surveyed the rest of the clearing, trying hard to not panic and figure out what must have happened in the time between you watching and listening to the younger wolf leave and losing sight of Chan. He wasn’t gone; his scent was still here, his bouquet of mahogany and beach fire haunting you in real time. His scent in the cool night air distracted you from the prickling sting on your leg. Thinking cautiously, you turned to press your back against the tree you had been hiding behind and eliminate a blind spot. 

Only to be faced with Chan. It was surreal, almost occurring as if time was slowing down just for him, just so he could stand himself before you and confront you. This was the closest you’d been to him since you tore him open in the boiler room. Standing together like this, your chest squeezed as you suddenly remembered that first night, both of you breathless and excited as Chan kissed you behind the bar. 

“Your heart’s beating out of control,” Chan observed, his hushed voice joining the gentle breeze in the exposing night air. His tone was gentle, husky, but difficult to figure out. He wasn’t happy to see you, that much was sure. And he was right. You’d backed up, apparently trying so hard to pass through the tree behind you that you could feel the bark press into your shoulders through your jacket. Sure enough, you could feel your heart beating like mad and rattling your breath. 

“Are you scared?”

You defiantly kept your mouth shut. The last thing you wanted to do was give away more than you already had. Instead, you tried to edge past Chan, until he effortlessly pushed the head of his flashlight into your sternum — hardly pinning you to the tree, but you were stuck nonetheless. Even in the dark, you could see his eyes. For the first time with Chan, you felt like prey. You thought of Jisung — his kind eyes, his golden skin soft as deer velvet. All you wanted in that moment was to cling to him and feel safe again. Then again, with Chan being here, by just existing in your space — you felt that incredible gravitation towards him that drove you into Jisung’s path in the first place. Somewhere in you, that small voice emanated an anxious hum. 

“You have no reason to be scared right now,” Chan reassured you with stinging saccharine in his continued murmur, “considering how things went between us last time.” You were frozen by the sensation of his hand on yours and you wished so desperately that you could pull away when his fingers wrapped around your wrist, but you were frozen in place— by fear, by desire, by something. The cold head of the flashlight left your chest as Chan reached up and pulled open the first few buttons of his flannel shirt. Wisps of moonlight streaked across Chan’s pale chest as he gently tugged up on your hand and led you to touch him. His calloused fingertips were soft on your palm as he made you reach out and press your hand to his chest. Your breath had stilled in your tight lungs. Just under his cold skin in the night air he was radiating warmth. A coarse breath became lodged in your throat as your fingertips brushed the gnarled skin comprising the scar you’d left him. 

“See? We match now.”

“Why are you doing this?” You were whispering to each other like that night under the table in the library and the only thing you wanted in the world was to will your feet to move and leave. Chan’s thumb almost affectionately brushed over your hand. 

“I’m just reassuring you that you have no reason to be afraid right now,” he replied. “You’re apparently perfectly capable of killing me. I don’t think I would’ve made it if you weren’t so courteous to leave me for Felix to find.”

“Believe me, I wasn’t trying,” you retorted. “And I’m not afraid of you.”

“Good. I’m grateful nonetheless,” Chan shrugged as he let you wrench your hand away. “Besides, the only reason you would have to be afraid right now would be if you knew how amazing you smell. You really should be more mindful of your surroundings; you never know what’s hiding. I watched you from the trees for three days back at your aunt’s house without you knowing. It was just a scratch this time, sure, but who knows about next time. You don’t know how lucky you are.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Chan,” you said as you attempted to stand your ground. “Just let me go back to the house.”

“If you’re lurking in the woods looking for secrets, I’m letting you in on one now,” Chan murmured, letting himself fall closer into you so he could breathe you in. It felt so incredible but so unnerving to have him this close. “You don’t know how lucky you are. You were alone with the wolf just a few weeks ago and still came out on top.”

“You’re not implying that you would’ve—”

“Eaten you? Why not? The wolf sure as hell wanted to— which is sick, considering how much it likes you. Just staring at you bleeding under me almost like you are right now, with that moon haunting me outside the motel… every little nag of the wolf telling me how easy it would’ve been to tear into you while I still had to reconcile with Rand trying to claim you, praying none of his blood got in that bite to accidentally complete the claim.”

Chan’s wolf sounded too much like the little whisper in the back of your mind for your comfort. In fact, you were never aware that the wolf was apparently its own mind. You knew the actual wolf form was extremely painful to assume and was really only used in dire situations. It was reasonably handled with medication or meditation, but to think that the wolf still made its own decisions and the human was just a passenger along for the ride… you didn’t like it.

Then again, Chan was the only wolf you knew intimately. Who knew what else would be news to you. Your fingertips pressed hard into the rough wood of the tree trunk to try and keep from trembling. Chan looked breathtaking like this, his eyes darkening as the predator tried to take hold inside him. “Why not give in, then, if it’s so easy,” you challenged him. 

“Because you gave in first,” he softly replied, the lilt in his dark tone hypnotic. “You gave into your hunger before I could give in to mine. You were lucky to make it out at the last full moon. I’d be more careful of the one coming up. You don’t deserve your luck running out.”

You felt sick. Despite the ravenous way his eyes bore into you, his warning sounded genuine, and as Chan clearly struggled with every demon on his back, including his wolf, you grappled with yours. You thought of Jisung, sleeping peacefully beside you as he couldn’t stay awake anymore at the end of his night. You thought of Chan, and the way he tried so hard to keep Rand away from you that night in the store, the way he’d truly seemed afraid of you when you gave into your own monster. 

As you noticed Chan heavily considering his proximity to you, his weighted hesitance and his own bated breath exposing him apparently caught between pulling you close and running away, you finally saw it: Chan hated this. The way he nervously licked his lips, the worry knotted up in his brow, his jaw set stern — he loathed how good you smelled. Even as he leaned in to your timid trepidation, his lips tempting closer to yours, you could feel a desperate restraint in him. You held your breath as you felt his own on your skin. Nervous excitement played with your heartbeat and you let your eyes close. 

Chan paused, one moment away. “Please stop me.”

Your eyes snapped open at his quiet plea. You could do that. For both of you. 

Chan grunted and cursed when you pressed both your hands to his chest and shoved him off, but he let you run. You ran all the way back to the house, until you saw the light actually on in the garage. 

Jisung barely had a moment to smile hello as you threw yourself into his arms, let alone have any time to figure out what was going on with you when you feverishly kissed him. He tried to caress and pet you down off of him. “Hey, hey, baby…” Jisung soothed. He wiped his grease-stained hands on his jeans before he worriedly cupped your face to get a look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“I really need you right now,” you breathlessly pleaded, and you kissed him again where you stood by the open passenger side door. Jisung nodded gravely in your embrace, knowing damn well what that felt like. His fingers caressed your hair, down to your shoulders as he turned and pressed you against the car, ultimately reaching down to tilt the front seat forward so he could gently herd you inside to lay across the backseat. 

“How much—”

“Everything, Jay,” you desperately whined, “I need you so much right now.”

The torrid firefight of conflicting emotions taking place inside you was overwhelming to say the least, as Jisung nodded dutifully. He was ready for you in minutes and was already pulling at the hem of your nightgown under your jacket, his mindful fingertips lighting you up instantly. If you could be there for him at the drop of a hat, so could he, and you were grateful once he prodded up against you between your legs. When had you gotten so wet? You barely had time to wonder past your gasp as Jisung gently stretched you open around him. As your mind was awash, you grounded yourself, coming home to his scent of deer and buttercups. His impassioned groans in your ear brought you back to earth, back to this moment between only you and him. However, even then you couldn’t shake this feeling that you weren’t alone as Jisung fucked the worry out of you, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was Chan. Either mentally or literally outside the garage, Chan was there and invading your moment. 

Apparently Jisung noticed you elsewhere underneath him. “Hey,” he softly called to you, wanting to bring you back, “I loved you last night and I love you tonight.”

“Jisung,” you gasped and whined, “I love you, too.”

Jisung slowed to a halt, hips stilled between your legs as you realized what you just said. His eyes bore deep into you, wondering if he heard you right. And when you thought about it, you knew he heard right. You loved Jisung.

Something about sharing that moment in the backseat of Jisung’s car seemed to make time slow and pull you two into sync with each other. The second he finally moved, he really was making love to you. Jisung kissed your face as he moved together with you, and that closeness felt thick, an invisible tether making you clutch tightly onto him. 

“Say it again,” Jisung breathed against you, and you could hear the precipice approaching from the stilted confidence in his voice. 

“I love you, Jisung—” you whimpered, his hushed intensity only adding to the peak he was pushing you towards, right up to when you toppled over the edge. Your legs squeezed around Jisung’s hips, your breathy cries reverberating in the quiet car in the silent garage as you came, and he wasn’t far behind. Jisung’s hips faltered against yours as he rolled into you once, twice more, and climaxed with an emphatic sigh, his voice husky and thick from working you over. 

You reached for him immediately, finding his lips in the dark as he did with you that first time in the bookstore, and glided your fingers back through his hair as he looked into your eyes; the dark brown rimming his enlarged pupils seemed to have a sparkle within them, like a set of stars only you had the privilege of knowing. His chest pushed into yours as you both caught your breath. You could feel the buttons of his jacket through the thin material of your nightgown. 

“I love you, too,” Jisung quietly panted, as if the walls outside would crumble if he proclaimed it too loudly. “I loved you last night, I love you tonight — and I’m going to love you tomorrow.”

The world felt cozier when you awoke the next night. After your tryst in Jisung’s car, you had spent the rest of the evening together, the most time you’d spent alone and relaxing so far. You dragged Jisung into a hot bath with you, where he found the already healed scratches from the bramble bush. He did ask what happened. You simply told him Chan had snuck up on you in the woods by accident and frightened you, and as much as you told him not to, Jisung was still hard-pressed to go talk to him. You could only relax once you calmed him down enough and pushed him into bed. 

Everything was fine, really. With Chan set on his path and you set on yours, you would hopefully never have to see him again after Rand and the journals were dealt with. You would never have to tell Jisung that the way Chan looked at you made you breathless, that being so close to him made you want to run, but it also equally made you want to grab onto him and never let go. 

After Jisung had finally drifted off to sleep that night, however, that familiar churn in your stomach returned, this time after suddenly being hit with the memory of Rand’s teeth in you. You couldn’t stay in the room and use your private bathroom, surely — you still hadn’t told Jisung about the puzzling occasional sickness. Instead, you slipped out from under his arm to throw on a robe and trot downstairs, just in time to use a bathroom down there until your stomach was satisfied. Admittedly, that soreness in your gut only exacerbated the hunger slowly forming over the past few days. 

You jumped as you returned upstairs, the first hints of daybreak starting to show outside and revealing Felix quietly slipping out of Judy’s bedroom. He froze as he caught you watching him at the top of the stairs. The hall had been silent as you regarded each other. 

“Hi,” Felix whispered awkwardly in greeting. He didn’t seem sure of how best to approach you.

“Hello.” You had to admit you felt the same if that were the case.

The younger wolf was bundled up in a cozy sweater, but when you neared to get closer to your room, you still noticed the telltale scars on Felix’s neck. Aside from freshly drawn blood and veal, he smelled sweetly of peaches, even daisies. His faint spray of freckles dotting his golden cheeks and dainty nose were incredibly becoming on him now that you could really take a second and see him up close. He had looked wary, ready to bolt. You remembered what Chan had said, about his family throwing him out after he turned, and your chest swelled. Whatever this was he was going through, it was clearly making him the happiest he’d been in a long time. 

“Are you being safe?” This felt like a neutral enough question, you’d hoped. Felix seemed to think so, a muted sigh falling from his chest once he had flashed a relieved smile and nodded. 

“Yeah. I was just hanging out because Judy says it helps her feel more safe.”

“Does she not usually?”

“Not lately,” Felix shrugged. “She said she’s been hearing noises in the garden and out in the trees, but I’ve tried looking, both during the day and night. Nothing out there, but if she feels better with me staying with her while she falls asleep, I can do that.”

“I’m sure she appreciates the gesture. That’s really thoughtful of you.” You weren’t even being facetious or playing nice; it was true. Whatever Felix seemed to feel for Judy, it was more than just lust. He’d given you a soft grin before he seemed to remember something. He rummaged through his pockets before he reached out, and offered you whatever it was he had found. Felix had placed a photo in your hand, and you tended back up. Beaming back at you was a remarkably cleaner Chan, in his uniform with his natural hair color and without the heavy circles presently rimming his dark eyes. That pang in your chest echoed deep. 

“I found it while helping Chan with his records,” Felix had explained. “It was in the bottom of his rucksack, in what he affectionately calls his Dead Box. Looked like his whole past life was in there. No known parents, no known siblings, just a juvenile record, a half empty pack of cigarettes, and this academy picture. He said the box is the first thing to go if things get bad. Thought you’d be curious to see.”

Your eyes pored over this exponentially happier Chan. He still had that shadow hanging over his smile, like there was still a lot behind him, but he seemed almost unaware that this much trouble was out in the world. “Felix,” you carefully wondered, “what’s he like with you?”

Felix’s look had been puzzling, like he had to remember you may have differing opinions or him. He decided on a simple shrug. “He’s the truest guy I’ve met. No lies, no secrets… except for now and the whole business with Judy. That’s why it hurts so much. But he saved me, and I’m thankful for him. He’s like a brother to me. And, for what it’s worth, I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. But I have to know... that night that you and he… did you mean to?”

A weighted silence staked down between you both. 

“What did he say?”

“He says you didn’t.”

“I’m glad,” you decided, “because I didn’t. Goodnight, Felix. Thank you.”

You had handed Felix back the photo. Holding onto it made your gut twist again for some reason.

Tonight, however, after you woke up to an empty bed, you knew the coziness wouldn’t last. You had to find Jisung and make sure he wasn’t caught up in another bout of wanting to do the right thing. You pulled on some jeans and a sweater before stepping into your boots and making your way downstairs, first hoping to catch Jisung in the kitchen. Instead, you were faced with an impromptu meeting of sorts. Felix sat on one end of the kitchen table, Judy sat at the other, and Joanne and Lucy were sitting between them. Yuna was mysteriously missing from this conversation. You had to wonder how her sister’s lovestruck rebellion was affecting the youngest. It seemed loneliness may have become a disease in the large house, jumping from person to person as these relationships were forming and changing. The girls instantly clammed up when you entered the room, but Felix gave you a reassuring smile. You quickly apologized and made your way out the back door.

The garage was dark again when you checked it. That wasn’t a great sign, but you weren’t going to let yourself become nervous yet. Instead, you headed out on the trail between the lanterns, being extra careful of the brambles and anything hiding at the fringes of the trail. Until you heard a gunshot. 

You could only hear the breeze rushing past your ears and your own panicked breathing as you tore through the woods, even though you knew plain and simply that Lia’s property bordered private as well as public property. A hunter could simply be out too late, or a homeowner could be dealing with pesky vermin, but the only thing you knew in this moment was that Jisung was nowhere to be found yet and you had heard a gunshot. You only slowed once you reached the edge of the clearing Jisung must’ve meant in the first place, but it was more like you skidded to a halt. 

Jisung was further down the tree line, aiming towards a target staked about 50 meters away… with Chan behind him. The two men paused for a moment to scan their surroundings as they heard the rustle of your feet in the brush, and you dropped down below a fern, breathing slow and steady through your pursed lips to calm your heart. What in the hell was Jisung doing out here? How could he go against your simple wish? There was no way Chan didn’t put him up to this, convince him that it would be better to be safe than sorry or some bullshit like that. 

You bristled as the two of them seemed to be getting along just fine. Chan corrected Jisung’s form and posture a little, guiding him to make sure his arm was stable but not stiff when he aimed. He fired again, and you could see the paper target tear as it was hit. You seethed. You were set on your path. Chan was set on his. You had suggested decency, but this was way too much. The boys shared a high five and celebrated by cracking open a beer, and you couldn’t take anymore. You turned and marched right back to the house. 

However, you were now too full of energy and had nowhere to take it. You considered waiting up for Jisung, but you knew that would only rile you up even more. It was as you were ascending the stairs that you noticed a light on in the study. You peered inside, and were grateful to find Lia, bundled up in her usual cozy layers, all cotton and wool. Perpetually freezing, as Lia appeared to be, you’d never seen her dressed down in less than a long-sleeved shirt. She seemed grateful to see you, too. You walked inside, and she gladly pulled up her feet where they’d been stretched across the couch.

“You alright, sweetheart?” Lia asked as she set her book down. She looked so tired. 

“How do you always know when I’m not?” You laughed solemnly. 

“I just know these things. Is it about Jisung? I like him with you, you know.”

“Right again. I guess I sometimes hate when things become certain.”

“Because that’s when things can become disappointing. You can't truly be upset unless you know where you stand.”

You smirked, your mind almost too foggy to really humor her. “How do you do that?”

“I just know how you are, sweetheart.”

“I mean, I know it’s…” You folded your arms, trying to consider what it really was that was bothering you, or even what all you could tell Lia in this moment. “It hurts when you know what’s best for someone, and they think they know more.”

“I know what you mean,” Lia laughed out loud. You could almost feel how worn down both of  you were. “It reminds me of a story.”

“Oh?” You did always love Lia’s stories. When she got into it, you could just rest beside her and listen to her talk for hours.

“Sure does,” she nodded, and she was already ready for you to nestle in closer to her on the couch as you watched the fire roar in the study. “It’s an easy one, since that’s all I have the energy for. But once, ages ago, I was madly in love with a young man—”

“You?” You giggled. Lia pushed at your shoulder.

“Indeed, me,” she lightheartedly rolled her eyes. “This was back when I was with Shepherd. He told me I had to be careful, over and over again, but I was in love and I knew how to take care of myself. I thought he was just being selfish, maybe overprotective.”

You sat up. This was the first Lia had ever mentioned his name to you. The revelation wasn’t lost on her either, as her quick inhale and sigh seemed to be giving her the energy to continue.

“Everything was glorious, it was perfect… until I woke up with a fever one night.”

“Lia…” You were chilled. As far as you knew, your immune system was impenetrable once you turned. It was one of the bigger benefits of the lifestyle, truth be told.

“I kept my secret for a whole week. I couldn’t tell my beau, I thought he might have given me whatever it was. I had to admit that I didn’t know everything. I had to talk to Shepherd. At the end of it all, he was the only one telling me he knew what was best, and he could be right.”

“And? What did he say?”

“Shepherd sat me down in the back of the bookstore, and he held my hand and shook his head. He never treated me like that before. He told me, ‘You silly young thing. If you’d told me sooner, you would know by now that there’s two things you can’t do anymore: you can’t get sick by any human means, and you can’t bear a child—’”

“We can’t?” 

Lia looked at you suddenly. You figured that must’ve been similar to Shepherd’s look, the look she was giving you now. “No, sweetheart,” she shook her head. “We can’t. Only purebreds can. Anything else will shrivel up and die in us, if it even has a chance to get that far.”

“Then what was making you sick?” You pushed before you could stop yourself. Lia grinned as you forced yourself to relax into the couch.

“First, Shepherd deduced that my beau was a Non-Viable Donor. This was before databases were a thing. Then — and this was the first time I hated him — he decided that I was only exacerbating it by knowing I was defying him.”

“What the hell—?”

“The weird thing was,” Lia continued, “that I couldn’t shake the feeling he was right, at least partly. Every time Shepherd told me to believe him, a small part of me wanted to. I was actively defying him, and you know your mind is more powerful than you like to admit.”

What Lia was referring to was still embarrassing to recall. When she had found you, you were running yourself ragged from dusk till dawn, stressing yourself sick over this new life you didn’t know how to navigate yet. So, sure, she may have had a point, but there was still something nagging at you.

“What if…” You carefully mulled over. “What if you didn’t feel like you were doing anything wrong by anyone?”

Lia took a second to meditate on this. “Then I would consider if I’m doing wrong by myself.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : 🌓 ⭒ 🌕 ⭒ 🌗 : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You had sat up in bed that night after talking with Lia, half reading a book and half listening to Jisung when he casually told you that he was out working in the garage longer than he expected. First, you had been considering if you really were doing any wrong by yourself. Then, with Jisung’s casual lie, you wondered if maybe he was doing anything wrong. It felt like, perhaps, the right thing to do was hold back, to not jump the gun, to be more careful about all this than you had been. It did feel like you were looking at this with refreshed eyes.

Then again, maybe there was a new hair trigger presenting itself now that you knew Jisung and Chan were apparently hanging out and didn’t find it pertinent to tell you. You had found Jisung out in his makeshift firing range the next two nights, but even that didn’t steam you. Inside you, you knew there was nothing objectively wrong with the two men being on good terms, or even becoming friends. It was when Jisung walked out from the shower to find you reading in bed again, however, and he said something that made your hair stand on end. That changed things.

“You know,” he laughed as he toweled off his hair, “I’m starting to think I had Chan pegged wrong. Like I know I said I was beginning to see the appeal, but I actually get it now. He’s a nice guy and— hey, are you alright?”

You straightened up, having apparently silently outed yourself again before you nodded into your book. 

“Oh, come on now,” Jisung grinned, “no secrets, remember?” There it was. Jisung was thoroughly perplexed as you snapped your book shut,  got out of bed, and threw on a jacket over your long-sleeved shirt. “Baby? Where are you going?”

“I think I left something outside,” you grumbled. Jisung didn’t follow you out.

Instead, you marched out by yourself to his little improvised hideout. Chan was there, relaxing in the moonlight, the silver light growing fuller with each passing night, and he was pensively reclining in one of the lawn chairs he and Jisung had apparently dragged out there. He barely looked at you, but his cocked eyebrow hinted that he was aware of your presence.

“Yes?” He was fiddling with Shepherd’s gun before he set it down beside his chair.

“We need to talk.”

“We do?” Chan reclined his head back, preemptively washing his hands of this situation.

“We need to talk about why you two are keeping secrets from me.”

Chan did look at you now. “Who’s keeping secrets? You and I don’t talk.”

“Then Jisung, you asshole.”

He raised his hands defensively. “I told Jisung he shouldn’t be keeping things from you. He said it’ll be easier if you don’t know.”

“What’s not to know?! I told him to never touch that goddamn gun again, and you’re laughing and whooping it up like pals and you’re showing him how to use the fucking thing!”

“Look,” Chan shot back impatiently. He rose to his feet. Something about the lines of his face seemed more severe, but you thought perhaps it was the moonlight playing tricks on you. “Jisung came to me and asked if I snuck up on you in the woods. I told him it was an accident, just like you weren’t meaning to spy on me. Jisung apologized for coming in hot — because he did — and said he just wanted to protect you. He told me the least we could do if we’re stuck like this is be decent to each other, and I liked that, but he lamented the whole thing about not even being able to use the gun if it ever came to that, so I figured I could provide that for him, but only if he told you. He told me he told you. I’m sorry if he lied. He just wants to protect you, just like I do.”

You were so tense you felt like your knuckles would tear through your skin. Instead, you leaned forward, scooping Shepherd’s gun off the ground and checked the chamber. Chan backed up a few steps, hands up again before you aimed for the paper target, still stood up in the clearing and fired straight at it. You were out of practice, having only bought and trained with a gun for a short period after that wolf mugged you back in college. Nonetheless, the target rocked as you hit close enough to the center to make a point. Your grimace felt pronounced while you opened the chamber again and emptied the rounds into your hand. Chan was silent as you tossed the gun at his feet and stormed off.

With that settled, you were on a warpath the next night. You had no patience to get properly dressed again, this and your steadily growing hunger making you feel a bit on edge. You yanked on a jacket over your nightgown and huffed downstairs before you found Jisung working in the garage on — of all things — the van Chan and Felix had lifted. He was apparently taking a break, sitting on the workbench and peering through the manual when you stepped right up to him. Jisung seemed to have sensed your anger as he quickly set the manual down, and flinched as you tossed the bullets in his lap.

“Baby,” he flustered, “I can explain—”

“No excuses, Jay.”

Jisung sighed hard as he stared at the ammo in his lap. “No excuses,” he repeated. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“You’re quite the hypocrite,” you sneered, fighting through your hurt. “If you’re buddies now what’re you doing playing with silver bullets?”

“Hey,” Jisung defensively bit back. “I told him I wanted to be careful—”

“Careful?” You laughed meanly. 

“Yes,” he groaned harshly, “I wanted to be careful. I showed it to him, and it was still half full, just the way I found it by Shepherd: full of wood-tipped rounds. Chan emptied it and used what he had on hand that would work.”

“This sucks, Jisung,” you sighed, and fought hard to not get too heightened over this. “This sucks, because I love you and I expect us to trust each other.”

“I love you, too! I trust you, too!” Jisung was up on his feet now as well, the ammo pinging onto the concrete floor where it cascaded off his lap. “I just want to be able to protect us and the girls and—”

“Will everyone stop trying to protect me?!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice, but here it was. Jisung folded his arms, momentarily stunned, waiting to see if you got that out of your system.

But you didn’t have a chance. A piercing scream rang out from the top floor of the house.

You and Jisung exchanged a terrified look before he followed after you, bounding out of the garage and into the house to sprint up the stairs. That sight wasn’t any better, the empty hall foreboding as you reached the landing. Your heart crawled into your throat. A door down the hall slammed open. 

Judy’s room.

She spilled into the hallway, the girl only recognizable because it just happened to be her room. She was a wreck, streaked in blood, her clothes hanging off her in tatters, her hair a mess — and the monster leaping out of the room and landing on top of her. Felix. 

If Judy barely resembled herself, Felix was long gone, the roars and growls coming from deep within him only belonging to the wolf as he tried to get her to sit still long enough to tear into her again. “Felix, please—!” She screeched, her words cut off into a gurgle as he pinned her roughly back down onto the floor. You could see him more clearly now as he sensed onlookers — a whimper behind you let you know the girls had made their way to the landing now — and he was gone. Felix’s eyes had done dark, almost completely black as he breathed hard through his hunger.

Jisung was the first to finally move, barreling forward and tumbling Felix off the poor girl, and you were quick to join, attempting to wrench his clawing hands out of the way so either of you could get a hold on him. Felix seethed and snarled, his lips curled back over his bared teeth that had presented themselves in his hunger, fighting hard to get either of you off of him. If any of the noises he made were words, you couldn’t tell. With the two of you attempting to hold him back, the girls finally rushed forward to Judy’s aid. It took a moment for you to figure out just where the blood all over you came from, before it became readily apparent that it was Judy’s. Felix yanked his arm from Jisung’s grip, about to swipe you both off until a gunshot rang through the hallway.

Lia lowered the gun in her hand, but you could still see a pearl handle matching the gun you’d thrown at Chan the previous night. Felix reeled from the new wound burning in his arm, a shocked cry seeming to rouse him from the wolf’s reign. The hallway seemed to freeze as Lia approached the whimpering boy with cold fury before she simply shoved her finger into the newly pierced hole and dragged him back down the corridor. The dark shadow had drained from Felix’s eyes, who suddenly seemed to be dealing with what the wolf had done in his absence. Lia looked at you, Jisung, and the girls as she pulled him along.

“Get Chaeryoung out of the goddamn hallway,” she huskily ordered. “And someone needs to control the whelp while we wait.”

“Lia, I didn’t—” Felix choked out, already overcome by the realization of what he did. “I didn’t— oh fucking christ, I didn’t mean — what do I—”

“We wait, dear. Just like I said. We’re going to see if there’s any chance to help Chaeryoung while we wait for you to calm down enough to tell us what the hell you did.” Lia silenced him harshly, with a twist of her finger still thrust in his arm. She pushed him into the study as the girls and Jisung helped usher Judy along inside right behind them. You attempted to process everything that just happened in the past few minutes. All you could hear was Lia commanding that someone needs to control the whelp. And all you could think of was Chan.

The rage carried your feet faster than you had originally thought possible, twigs and leaves snapping beneath your boots as you sprinted out to the clearing. You weren’t sure what you would do when you found Chan, but you knew he was the cause of all of this.

What you found, upon reaching the clearing, was the ghost of a flashlight beam leading you out to the field beyond, closer to the edge of the property line. You slowed down to a careful walk as you approached. Chan sat on the grass in the bright moonlight, arms folded on his knees as he considered a deer heaving for breath with its hooves caught in a hunter’s trap. He was dressed comfortably in a flannel and sweats, like he just rolled out of bed, and you hated that like this, if this moment resided in a vacuum, you could find him just as handsome as that first night. But out here, you could only hear the breeze whisper reserved judgements through the foliage as the both of you waited, as silent as the deer.

“Tell me something,” he finally said, still not looking up at you. “Say you’re me. What would you do?”

“I didn’t realize there were choices,” you replied curtly.

“Sure there are,” he nodded. “You could do what’s right for you, or right for the deer.”

“What about you,” you retorted. How silly of you, to assume that both options were one in the same. “What would you do?”

“Honestly?” Chan shivered as he rocked up onto his feet. He placed a calming hand on the deer before he stepped on both latches on either side of the trap and pried it open. The deer got up on shaky legs, but quickly sprinted off. “I sort of really wanted to eat it.”

You scoffed. “Of course you would—”

“Can you fucking blame me?!” Chan snapped at you. You backed up a step. “I’m starving, but can I afford to leave and hunt as I’d like? What’re you even doing out here?!”

It wasn’t lost on you, that Chan was eyeing the blood smeared on you. “Ever the goddamn martyr, aren’t you,” you glowered. “You need to get back to the house,” you said with an attempt to be calm, “Felix—”

“Do not get me started on Felix,” Chan laughed harshly. “Don’t even mention him to me. I don’t care what he does now. I have stuck my neck out for him so many times, I have wasted so much patience on him, I’ve accepted and loved him and helped him—”

“Chan!” You barked. “Will you shut the hell up?! I’m trying to tell you Felix and Judy—”

“Oh, it finally happened, huh?!” Chan reeled, feigning surprise. “What, he just thought he could ignore me and nothing would happen?! I can’t say I fucking blame him, if she smells half as good as she smells on you.”

Chan stepped closer. You stepped back, but only to dig your heels in as you swiped your hand through Judy’s blood on your chest to slap him across the face, if it smelled so goddamned good. However, Chan caught your hand, his grip menacing as you tried to pull free. You wriggled in his hold. “You are such a goddamn monster,” you hissed.

“I asked if you can fucking blame me,” Chan shot back, his voice cold and thick, and you recognized that dark shadow clouding his piercing gaze. He torqued your wrist in his hand with surprising ease, clearly giving in to his temptation to smell the mauled girl’s blood on you before you tried to kick him off. Chan easily tipped you back, yanking you close and falling on top of you in the clearing by the opened trap. “Let’s try that one more time,” he grimly chuckled through a sharp shiver. “Can you blame me?”

“For what, you fucking animal,” you spat. The crazed look in Chan’s eye only seemed to be goaded on.

“For being a fucking animal,” he sneered as he held you down. “I’m alone, I’m starving enough to want to eat a fucking trapped deer, and I’ve been listening to you fuck that dipshit for the past month. Do you know what actual torture that is? If I have to think about that prick’s hands on you one more time I think I’ll actually go mad. Every goddamn time I stumble across him fucking you I want to tear my hair out, that’s why I’m never in the fucking house when you’re awake. And you know what makes it worse? I like Jisung.”

“Don’t you dare say his name right now,” you struggled out as you tried to knee Chan off of you. He seemed blatantly unaffected. You could see the hair on his neck stand up in alert against the light of the full moon. 

“Why? Aren’t you happy? You were right,” Chan miserably lamented. “I’m a monster and a stupid animal, enough to get jealous over a rotten bitch who tried to kill me just because she knows what it’s like to eat and not feel satisfied.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you gritted out, even though that was a stone faced lie. You knew exactly what it was like, eating and never feeling satiated until you gave into that nagging feeling so deep in your mind it felt like it sat in your throat. 

“Sure you do, don’t lie,” Chan spat, “I bet every time you feed on Jisung you—”

“I said do not talk about Jisung as if you have any right.”

“Why? What’s wrong, princess,” Chan taunted. “Do you feel guilty? Whatever happened to never talking to me? Never interacting with me? You’re not even trying to avoid me now. Whatever Felix did in that house wasn’t more important than whatever bullshit you keep insisting on dredging up. Admit it—”

“Admit what, you fucking mongrel?!

“What I said really bothered you, or else you wouldn’t be hanging around while I’m telling off Felix. You hate that I said you belong to me, but you keep fucking wondering why it doesn’t feel wrong.”

You thrashed uselessly underneath Chan, but he didn’t look like he was enjoying this. 

“You have this little voice in the back of your head that dictates your whole life now, and it’s not questioning why you’re mine, it’s just mad about it,” Chan insisted. The surety with which he said it rocked into your chest and made your heart slow. “I know, because I have it, too, and it’s not the goddamn wolf. I’m just as lost—”

“I hate you!” You cried out, your voice hoarse, and you finally got him to shut up. “I hate you, you son of a bitch, Chan. I fucking hate you. Pretend you’re me, alright? Let’s play your game, so pretend you’re me. And you meet someone who makes you excited to be alive for the first time since you died, which is entirely rare, but he drags you down an entire rabbit hole just because he asks you to trust him and doesn’t even have the decency to kill you when he’s done with you.”

Chan was frozen above you, shocked into silence from the enraged tears brimming at the corners of your eyes as you beat your fists against his chest. 

“And pretend you convince yourself that this person is actually great, he’s noble and saved you, and you just want to find and know this person because you’re a goddamn idiot and a slave to that voice in your head that decided now was a good time to show up and affect everything you do. And even when you find someone else in that process, someone who you love and loves you back, you can’t even enjoy it, because you know you’re a rotten bitch who can’t stop thinking about that night you asked me to trust you.”

The tears streaming down your face and into the grass stung in the cold night air, but not nearly as much as catching the heartbreak and devastation in Chan’s eyes as he laid against you in the grass. He stubbornly shook his head. “You don’t get to throw yourself at the feet of this situation,” he scolded. “I searched for you, I tried to protect you, I saved you from Rand, and you still tried to kill me! I’m stupid enough to love you and pine over you and you still tried to kill me—”

“You do not love me,” you snapped. It was gross, noticing how good Chan’s pulse smelled in his wrist. His darkening eyes seemed to glow in the night. 

“You don’t get to decide that!” He barked indignantly. “I don’t even want to! I wish I didn’t love you, I wish I didn’t want you, I wish I wasn’t fucking haunted by you when you’re right in front of me—”

“Then get rid of me, Chan!” You cried out, and Chan stared you down again in an attempt to not get distracted by your distress. “Get rid of me,” you repeated, trying to push him to do anything, and you finally willed yourself to move. You slapped him, hard, once across the face, and you could feel your nails scrape against his cheek. “Dig me up from the garden and throw me out to the damn tree line if I’m so much trouble.”

Chan was eerily still as he was shaken by your strike, the last of the color in his eyes was overtaken by darkness. The shine was still there, only outlined in black like tar as his weight felt more definitive against you. “I asked you to stop me last time,” he finally spoke through a full body shiver. 

“Fuck you,” you spat as you attempted to wriggle out from under him. “Stop yourself.”

“Come on,” he pleaded, “the wolf actually knows you. Stop me, please.”

“Fuck you and the wolf,” you snapped, and you attempted to smack him again, if only to surprise him into giving you enough space to kick him off. Instead, Chan leaned harder into you, your slap seeming to lure him in instead of push him away. His hand on your cheek pushed back behind your ear to grab into your hair, and you fought off a whimper before you turned towards his arm and reflexively bit into him. 

The blood rushing over your tongue was a mistake, first evidenced by your desperate moan from finally being fed, and Chan’s garbled curse that sounded more like a growl. His response was instant, his hand spread on your shoulder to slam you down onto the ground and dig his bared teeth into your shoulder. This was apparently the last push his wolf needed to stop being civil, but the worst part was how incredible it felt, only adding to the constellations swirling around your head with his blood on your tongue. Blood begat blood, and you were of two minds as you snaked your fingers into his hair to yank him off long enough for you to pull him back down and sink your teeth into his throat. Chan’s groan still sounded a bit like him, but his clawing hands were that of the wolf spurred on by the smell of your exposed blood making him starve, and his own exposed blood making him want to break you down until you were no longer a threat. You cried out as Chan pinned you to the ground, his snarling teeth finding unmarked skin on your neck to gnaw into as you tried to rip him off. His growls reverberated through your throat and your dizziness almost made you feel faint. Even as you were able to crane his head to the side and scrape your teeth into his shoulder, you were hyper aware enough in your hunger and adrenaline to recognize that Chan was noticeably hard against you between your legs, his hips even rutting against you under your thin nightgown as you both were giving in to your monsters in an attempt to survive each other. 

The thick haze marring your judgement was killing you, making it difficult to tell the difference between what he wanted, what you wanted, and what both your little voices wanted. All you knew was Chan’s hands and teeth on you made you burn, with pleasure and disgust, and the more you fed on him the more you rutted your hips down against him like you were possessed, just like that night in the library or back in the boiler room. And, it seemed, the wolf was keen on such attention, no matter how much Chan tried to shake his head and pull away from your clawing hands. He was always right back on top of you, sinking his teeth into you wherever he could fit around you doing the same. 

You couldn’t tell, in the midst of either of your frenzies, exactly how Chan’s bared member ended up thrust up against your heat that was thoroughly betraying you, but you knew neither of you did anything to stop it as he grinded past your scant layers of clothing. In fact, there was even a moment, a brief second of hesitation, and you could see him past the wolf as you could recognize in your haze that he was laying right in your entrance. Your nails dug into Chan’s biceps, the muscles there tensing under your clutches as you gasped and arched your back at the sensation of him falling into you. 

If Chan had wanted to eat you, he would’ve done it by now, but it became apparent as he fucked you, with his teeth gripping into your shoulder, that it wasn’t that simple. The wolf wanted you in a similar way Chan wanted you, minus any of the superfluous human feelings attached. Even then, he was in there, despite the beast driving him. Each time his lips dragged across your skin, every time his bruising grip softened into a gentle caress, any time you thought you heard him curse under his breath, it was Chan, and if you could sift out any of those extraneous sensations, the sick waves of ecstasy that were overwhelming you could almost be misconstrued for affection. 

Everything was simultaneously rushed and slowed between you, and you weren’t sure precisely when Chan’s opened shirt revealed that you had clawed him back open where you had originally mauled him, but it took for him dripping all over you for you to notice, the dark crimson pooling and sticking to the front of your nightgown hiked up around your hips. Incredibly, this transfusion of sorts was driving you mad, raking you through visceral bliss until you could see a peak on the horizon. By this point, a faint breeze could probably eviscerate you, let alone an orgasm from the wolf currently thrusting roughly against you. Still, you whimpered, you whined, worn down and exhausted from trying to stop wanting this like he was, and you grabbed at his chin, tilting him towards you as that precipice crept closer.

“Chan—” you weakly begged, and he was the one who looked back at you, and not the wolf. The darkness faded for a moment, the whites of his eyes becoming just a bit more opaque as he found you. “I fucking hate you, but at least tell me you want me.” It was a ridiculous request, you knew. You couldn’t tell if it was better or worse to hear it.

He ardently nodded as that darkness crept back over his vision. “I love you, you bitch, we belong to each other,” he grunted in a moment of clarity, “but fucking hell you make me wish I was dead.”

You loathed the fact that his affirmation fired you up in just the way you needed, and Chan groaned in surprise as you pulled him close for a brutal kiss, the wolf seemingly not used to such affections. He lingered until you pulled him back off and sank your teeth into him once more, that burst of blood on your tongue sending you just the stars you needed to be pushed over the edge once and for all. You cried out against him, your fingers tangled in his hair as you held him down against you and savored the way your core constricted and squeezed around him. The pleasure drained you, but it thankfully seemed that this was the goal that the wolf had been searching for all along. Chan’s slim fingers clawed into your hair to crane you back flat on the grass as he pinned you down and thrust hard against your sore hips, your numb thighs still cold in the night air before he hit his peak. His growled sigh seemed thick with satisfaction as you felt his warmth flood you, and his hips slowed their frenetic rock against you.

There was still a breeze on the night air as you slowly fell back into your senses.

But it was a rude awakening, that freezing riptide of realizing the gravity of what you’d just done.

You kicked Chan off of you now that he appeared to be coming back, too, and equally as hungover it seemed. He groaned in the grass before he reached for you. You looked down in horror in the blood streaked down you, and as Chan laid an assumedly comforting hand on your thigh — whether for his sake or yours you weren’t sure — you shoved him back onto the opened animal trap as you scrambled up onto your quivering legs. He barked out a curse as he landed on the teeth of the trap before he tried to get up and follow after you, but you’d already taken off in a frantic hurry back to the house, chased as you were by shame and embarrassment that you could let this happen in the middle of a crisis. 

The blood and dirt caking the bottom of your boots made you slip on the cold tile of the house once you rushed inside, and bounded up the stairs, Chan hot on your trail as he suddenly remembered why he was supposedly needed back here. 

You stopped short as you stumbled into the study when everyone turned to look at you, a vision in red with your jacket hanging slack off one shoulder. Jisung looked terrified, his wide eyes darting between you and Chan running in behind you, looking no better and equally as haggard. Nonetheless, he caught you as you fell into his arms, his safe scent enveloping you again as he tried to steady you enough to take a look at you. 

“Felix—” Chan panted from where he stood in the doorway. 

“Chan,” Felix brokenly called back. 

Joanne and Lucy held Judy in their arms where she lay on the hearth on the fireplace. The lighter blood swathed across her lips matched the healing wounds on Felix and Jisung and painted quite the picture: everyone frantically working to get Judy the blood she needed — but it looked as though it may be too late still. Lia sat beside Felix on the floor in front of the couch, with Yuna sitting atop it behind them, knees drawn up to her chest and nervously watching in tortured wait. 

Chan knelt beside the younger wolf, pressing his forehead sympathetically to Felix’s as Lia got up to her feet now. 

“Jisung,” you feebly murmured into his shoulder, “is Judy—”

“We did everything we could so far,” he quietly replied, his gentle voice cracking a bit under the emotional weight. “An emergency room won’t have the resources for her. Lia tried to call a trusted doctor, but they wouldn’t be able to come before tomorrow night.”

“Felix,” Chan lamented, “what did you do?”

“I — fuck — it was so fast, I just…” Felix choked up hard. 

“Tell him, dear,” Lia prodded as she walked over to the fireplace. “This shouldn’t be so hard. You already told us. Just tell it again.”

“I… she…” Felix fought for words, swallowing down his rising emotions again so he could say what happened. “We were in bed. She was reading to me. The pages were stuck, and when she finally got them apart, she nicked herself… just the smallest drop of blood, but Chan, I’ve been so hungry, you know — and I just, she must’ve seen how I looked and how I smelled it, and she offered to let me taste if it would help, and—”

“Felix,” Chan gasped, and it still came out like an admonishment. 

“I know,” Felix sobbed, weighty tears falling down his face as Chan put an arm around him. 

“Now we all know,” Lia interjected coolly from where she stood at the fireplace. She used the poker in her hand to stoke the flames, to keep the room warm for Judy whose breathing was ragged and shallow where she lay with the girls. Lia looked back over her shoulder at you. “And now that we all know, maybe we should all know what is especially concerning about this.”

Jisung and Chan steeled themselves as Lia turned. She stepped once, twice, closer to Felix, giving him time to look up at her before Chan butted in. 

“Lia, we don’t have to do it like this—” 

“Enough, mutt,” she ordered, before she drove the iron poker into Felix’s chest and shoved until the barbed end pushed through. Everyone jolted at Felix’s stunned yell, even Judy stirring for a moment in concern. Yuna screamed, but stayed put, almost frozen in place. “I asked you both to stay away from my girls for a reason,” Lia scolded. “I afforded too many people in this house the benefit of the doubt, and now the blood that has wrought is on all of our hands.”

Lia took a moment to breathe. You all did, only the crackling fire offering any observations for a minute. Finally, as you all settled in your tension, Lia stooped down to resume her seat next to Felix, almost maternally scooping him into her arms and laying him in her lap as she stroked his hair. 

“Where was I?” Lia asked quietly, her eyes tiredly cast down at Felix. His muted sniffles and silent tears cut into your heart. You could swear Judy was sleepily watching him from the fireplace. “Tell them why this is bad, Lia,” Jisung softly prompted. His arms squeezed protectively around you, but his fingers still trembled.

“I suppose we’ll need context,” Lia sighed, settling into this and gathering the energy. “I met Adam Shepherd a lifetime ago. My parents were affluent, and we could afford to travel often. I was young, just started college, on holiday with my parents when I stumbled across his shop one evening. I was charmed by the old man. He always had an anecdote or a recommendation or something to show me. He said I shined so bright he didn’t need the sun, when I asked why he wasn’t open during the day. I adored him. I visited him every day, and when I convinced my parents to return that winter, I visited him every day then, too. It was shortly before I was supposed to leave that he told me. He told me about his life, what it meant, and I was dazzled. He asked if I would stay, and I did. 

“He waited three months to turn me, and when he was done we held each other and cried, we were so happy. I loved him as if he were my own grandfather, a kind of relationship I’d never known before since I never met either of my own. But, about a year later, we grew weary bringing in donors. That’s when Shepherd suggested hiring some help. This was Minho, who was the most beautiful boy I’d ever met in my life, up to and including any I had met while under Shepherd’s tutelage. I was infatuated, but I was nervous, and I wasn’t sure why, but I found out a month later when I caught Minho hunting late last night. He was a wolf, and I’d never met one before. I asked him if Shepherd knew, and Minho told me that he had known right away, and hired him anyhow. Sometimes, he told me, he wondered if he hired him because of that.

“It was easy to love Minho after I knew. He told me that when he looked at me, it felt like he was laying in a field on a sunny day, basking in the warmth. He claimed me on a humid summer night. It burned, when his blood touched the wound he opened in me, but it was the happiest I’d ever been.”

Lia slipped open the buttons of her blouse and let it fall open. A light scar of a bite, faded to a blushing pink, sat on her breast over her heart. However, a massive scar also webbed across her stomach, one you’d never been allowed to see before.

“That same summer was also when trouble began,” Lia continued. “What Minho hadn’t told me yet was that he had run away from his pack when he found Shepherd. What Shepherd hadn’t told him was that he knew. Minho ran from the store and up to the house one night and told me that Shepherd was a madman, that he was trying to develop a cure for lycanthropy and it was dangerous at the very least, and that we should run. I couldn’t. I trusted Shepherd, I loved him. I wouldn’t abandon him, even if it was Minho telling me to.

“I regret that choice every day of my life. I should’ve left with him. It was two days later that the pack arrived. They got me right as I was waking up, and when I finally understood what was happening, I was surrounded by wolves in a motel room by the beach. Shepherd arrived, and I begged him to tell me what was happening, and he simply kissed my forehead and told me I had been the best. He was saying goodbye, and I was so terrified. The others brought Minho in, and that’s when Shepherd stabbed me, once, in the belly. I remembered that Minho hadn’t been hunting, he said he was scared of running into the pack, and once he smelled me…”

You watched, broken as Lia’s breath wavered for a moment until she composed herself.

“I don’t remember much, other than Minho cried as he tore me apart, even inside the wolf. I remember that and the moon outside the window. It was the first night of the full moon. I felt empty when they dragged Minho off of me, and they left me for dead. I woke up in a coroner’s office a week later, having had to rest through it without any blood to help me. Shepherd never came looking for me.” 

“Why did they leave you?” Felix weakly asked.

“I’m getting there, dear,” Lia assured him, gently patting his arm as she nudged him off her lap and rose to her feet. Felix groaned as he leaned back on Chan for support. Lia turned to face him again before she grabbed onto the iron poker and swiftly yanked it out. The younger wolf let out a hoarse cry as the wound erupted, and Chan cursed before he tried to clap a hand over it. He froze as Lia pressed the tip against his hand. “No one touch him. We’re still waiting.”

“Waiting for what, Lia?” You pleaded, holding tight onto Jisung’s hand where he held you.

“I went to find the pack,” Lia continued regardless of your request. “They were in the woods on the edge of Shepherd’s property line where they were apparently hiding out, and they each took a turn interrogating Minho for more information while they tried to figure out how to prove if he was cured or not. When Shepherd finally came, he said there was only one way to know for sure. He drew out his pistol, and he shot the man I loved. He reeled, but he was fine, and I was hopeful for one cursed moment. I watched him unload the pistol, load it with silver, and shoot him again. The pack was disgusted. They called Shepherd a crazy old man and ran. What they didn’t know was that this was just another trial run for Shepherd. He figured it out eventually.”

Lia caught her breath to finish her story when the girls gasped by the fireplace. Lucy was first, erupting into bitter tears. She gently shook Judy’s shoulders, but all the color she had left had drained. Yuna finally moved, leaping over and grabbing her sister and shaking her harder.

“Chae!” Yuna screamed. “Chae, come on! Chae! This isn’t fair!”

Amidst this, a pained cough caught your attention. Felix doubled over, gasping and clutching his chest as if he were just feeling his wound for the first time. Chan sat up straighter, trying to get a better look at him. When you looked to Lia, your eyes growing wider in realization, her hard gaze silently implored you to watch. This was what you were waiting for. Felix wheezed through his pain, but you noticed a new warmth in his cheeks that hadn’t been there before. 

“Alright dear,” Lia sighed at Felix as she went to set the poker down, “let's get you fixed up and then we’ll take care—”

“NO!” Yuna roared. 

Everything moved at once.

Lia hardly had a chance to stop her once Yuna lunged forward, snatching the poker from her hand and driving it back into Felix’s chest.

[To be continued.]

<prev | next>

[dracossweetprincess]

april | l.l

lunaxfem.reader

request: yes/no

preview: little headcanons of activities that y/n and her girlfriend do in april.

warnings: none, just full on fluff.

y/n and luna making pearl necklaces together, and making them for each other.

y/n and luna going apple picking and having a picnic in the grass while watching the sunset.

y/n and luna feeding the ducks at the lake.

luna showing y/n a recipe of jasmine milk tea with homemade strawberry pearls.

y/n and luna trying to find each other’s signature scent. “I think yours is peach, my love.”

y/n and luna listening to soft pop from the vintage radio while journaling, after y/n explained to luna how journals work.

luna and y/n styling each other with luna’s mom old wardrobe.

luna and y/n writing a letter to their future selves.

y/n helping luna plant a seed at her windowsill and watch it grow.

luna taking y/n for a walk every morning or evening.

luna and y/n doing funky makeups on each other.

luna and y/n using luna’s mother old wardrobe to dress up for spring.

luna and y/n taking a warm relaxing bath every night.

[melmac78]

Of leather tooling and love

(Tag mini bang 2021)

Here’s my story for @tagminibang. I want to thank @tracybirds for their amazing art and working with me. Also, I thank them being extremely patient with learning about leather tooling and for adapting to the time zone difference to get this put together.

(I added my own art piece - “John’s” astronomy cuff… mark I, and will link directly to tracybirds’s art when I can fully figure this out).

•••••••

John Tracy was mad... so mad he was making an indelible mark that would take forever for someone to wipe away or cover up.

Fortunately it was leather, and he was tooling a design so no one would really want to cover it up, but he still was at points surprised he wasn't punching holes in the design… or the table.

A chirp however made him question the latter.

“John, please do not hit the table so hard. You are making my processors overload,” gently scolded EOS as the man was swinging the rawhide mallet.

While fortunately her interruption didn’t make him miss, allowing him to add to the octopus design, John set the leather tools down and sighed. “I’m sorry EOS,” he said gently.

“I accept your apology, but I do not understand why stamping cowhide will help your anger,” said the AI.

“As I said, it’s leather tooling, and it’s better to use my anger for something creative,” John said quietly.

“Even this … item?”

He looked at the cuff he was working on again and gave a half smile. “Even this wallet,” the astronaut chuckled.

After giving EOS a task to do, reminding her not to adjust the gravity back to zero to avoid any spills from his work, John looked at the project again.

He sighed, understanding his curious “data child’s” curiosity. Leather tooling, while a bit outdated in some people's eyes, was one of the few learned talents and gifts he still had from his Grandfather as well as his Dad.

And - it reminded him of Gordon, in good and bad times.

Gordon… his brother with the wacky sense of dress.

The aquanaut preferred to wear on average two leather bands and then a woven smaller band with the first two oyster pearls he found.

That's why he stopped - at the moment, it felt as though if he took out more anger on the mallet and metal stamping tool, he was hurting Gordon. Triple if he managed to hit it so hard it tore through the damp leather.

Who knew Gordon’s penchant for being the only one to wear leather wrist bands would save his life?

A week and a half prior... he chose to wear two broader bands on one arm and his usual one on his other.

They were nearly the width of a cuff, with designs that took forever to explain to EOS. It was an unusual decision, but one that the brothers were thankful Gordon made.

They had been called out to a rescue - a skyscraper fire in Houston, and all land based brothers had been called as it required high rise rescue.

Gordon had been on level 70 of the building, rescuing an unconscious woman. He had secured the victim in with his harness and started to use the pulley to get them to the top of the building for Thunderbird to lift them to safety.

An explosion had knocked them for a loop, smashing Gordon into the building.

Gordon took the brunt of the hit, slamming into the frame.

In spite of the helmet, he too was knocked out. Worse, the grapple slipped, and glass shards, still stuck in their mounts, sliced down his forearms.

It cut the neoprene... and through part of his thick leather cuffs.

When they recovered both victims, Virgil and John immediately triaged the two. She had a minor concussion and smoke inhalation.

Gordon however not only too had the bump on the head - thanks to the helmet taking the brunt, he also a dislocated shoulder, and a few cracked and broken ribs.

But what was the immediate concern at the time of the rescue was his arms, particularly the wrists. They took the brunt of the damage.

The leather bands however, saved his life. They made what would've been life threatening - if not fatal, slashes on his wrist to mostly superficial cuts.

The bands though were completely destroyed as far as wearability. Virgil would have to apologize for cutting them completely off - but not why - later.

Gordon was taken to a hospital in Houston's esteemed Medical Center, where he went through multiple surgeries, a few pints of blood, and lots of rest.

That was a week ago, as Gordon had a healing rib rebreak, nicking his lung. It was repaired, the bleeder stopped, but Gordon had to be put under sedation for a couple of days to ensure the site healed.

Though they had lifted the sedation the day prior and were waiting for Gordon to come out of it, the family would have to wait couple of days before he could return to Tracy Island.

That lead to where he was today.

John sighed, and looked around Thunderbird Five.

He had been practicing some leather tooling at University of Houston's art department.

That was before a space rescue needed both him and Alan, and afterword, he stayed on Five to keep apprised of a possible hurricane.

Well that and have an excuse to decline another lecture invite from NASA.

John was thankful that U of H understood his need for privacy, and that having a PhD in Aeronautics and Space allowed him some special favors.

The positive it included the use of one of the art studios to leather tool...

The negative? The trade off was as long as he also donated one of his famous astronomy tooled leather cuffs for a fundraiser.

He had already finished the band for the auction two days prior, complete with the antique leather dye, golden paint accents in the star constellations, and steampunk like swing hinge cuff. Not the easiest to make, especially setting the rivets for the cuff.

Worth it to John - small price to pay, but would reap rewards for U of H’s generosity. He’d bring it to them when he visited Gordon again.

The astronaut then looked at the octopus carved and stamped on the wallet. "It was too damn close," he said out loud, but at the same time, he was thankful. This was for Gordon later on.

John then smiled at the thought. It was indeed for his aquanaut brother, one they could’ve lost in that fire.

He was about to stamp the leather again... when a beep startled him.

The astronaut asked EOS to answer it, and the image of Virgil came out of the monitor.

"Gordon's come to," said Virgil.

"Fully?"

The older brother shrugged. "Mostly, but he should be fully alert by the time you get to the hospital," he said, then frowned. "He's asking about the leather bands... especially the one that was 'Mom's belt'."

John furrowed his brow.

Yes, that belt bracelet.

Fortunately the one bracelet Gordon hadn't worn that day.

Unfortunately, the one Gordon duplicated - with varying degrees of success, he did wear nearly daily.

John could imagine Gordon’s initial reaction… he’d feel the same way.

"Virgil, Gordon didn't wear that cuff that day," he said. "He intentionally put a small Thunderbird stamp on his so he didn't confuse the two."

Virgil nodded. "I know, but you know him and anesthetics... gives him the wrong memory if he's not goofy from it," he said, then chuckled. “Last time he was trying to feed Parker poster pancakes on the USS Lexington.”

John scoffed at the memory. "That one still has Parker perplexed," he said, then stood, stretching. "Try to talk him down from his confusion. I'll be there in a few minutes. I need to get something."

Virgil noticed John’s labors on the table and quirked an eyebrow. "What about the wallet you're working on?"

"It'll be fine. The leather can be dampened again to finish it up. I expected it to be a longer project over the bracelets I made at U of H,” he said, putting the stamping tool and mallet down.

The artist noticed John’s attempt to deflect, and his eyes twinkled in mischief. "So… how many projects did the University ‘con’ you out of for the auction this time?" said the artist with a teasing smirk.

He wasn't going to give his younger brother too much grief - he still owed the University at least one hand blown glass vase.

"Just the one - the astronomy cuff."

Virgil gave a soft whistle. "That one? You won't even make that one for me."

"Then bid on the one they're selling," snarked John as he cleaned up the rest of the leather tooling supplies.

Virgil merely laughed - yeah, he was going to bid if anything to help a department who helped his brother cope through this.

John then picked up a box wrapped in sea turtle wrapping paper. "I'll be there shortly,” he said walking to the space elevator.

“FAB.”

********

Gordon Tracy looked out the windows of his hospital room from his hovering hospital bed and signed.

He was thankful he wasn't stuck with a view of the generators. The hospital still hadn't gotten over teasing him - gently - about calling them "Donald Duck" in a post-anesthesia comment the other time he was there for an injury.

Here, it was a view of one of the garden parks the area had.

What he wasn't thankful for was the fact he lost the leather band that was made from his mother's belt.

He looked at the long bandages wrapped on his wrists and lower arms and sighed.

Sure, Virgil kept insisting it was not the band, but he knew his bracelets.

Yes, he had to admit they had to be fully cut off too keep him from bleeding out through his wrists - he knew one cut was still too close.

Still though... he had to concede if it was gone, it was his mother protecting him.

Even Scott had told him point blank it was the only time he was thankful Gordon had forgotten to take the bands off.

Rumor had it Scott was even considering consulting with Brains to create leather arm bracers.

His theory was if it worked for the cowboys in the 1800s and 1900s, why not the technological cowboys of today?

Gordon looked at the sky and smiled. "Thanks Mom for watching over both that woman and me," he said, then looked at the bands.

There were blood stains on them, which were not going to come out.

Sure, they could be dyed dark before being stored, most likely black, and he could have John help him there. That said, it was not going to matter when they had been made unwearable when Virgil cut them off.

There were the button and hole fixtures sure... but the aquanaut understood Virgil was going to slice first, apologize for saving Gordon's life later.

Blood loss didn’t wait for bracelets.

A knock at the door shook him out of his thoughts. "Come in," he said, adjusting the bed to where it floated back to connect with the main vitals scanner.

John entered and smiled at seeing his alert brother, the first time he'd been fully awake since before the accident.

"Hi Gordon, how are you feeling," he said, wincing slightly at the cliche.

His fish loving brother just smiled, but the astronaut didn't miss the sadness in the cinnamon colored eyes. "I'm having a whale of a time... too bad the lake below probably only has ducks," he said, chuckling slightly.

“Must be going ‘quackers’ then,” joked John, only to watch as Gordon fiddled with the remains of the bracelets. John coughed. "Gordon..."

"I know. They had to be cut off in order to save my life," the aquanaut said, sighing. "It's just... this was mom's - look at the paisley here..."

John put his hand over both his younger brother's and smiled. "It isn't the one made with Mom's belt, trust me,” he said, smiling, then pointing to a detail. "See? Here's the thunderbird stamp you used for yours."

Gordon took a closer look, and his eyes widened slightly.

John was right... it was indeed there, just had been cut in half by the cutting tools. Well he hoped so and not the glass, but that was a story left unsaid at the time.

"It's not mom's," the aquanaut whispered instead, tears of happiness flooding his eyes.

The astronaut smiled and gave his brother a gentle hug. "No it isn't. I made sure the one with Mom's was in the fire safe - just in case, on the Island before Alan brought me to the hospital," he said gently.

The two hugged gently for a while, the mix of hospital bluster and soothing sounds from the Muzak in the hallways mingling between the brother's hushed tones.

After a few minutes, Gordon sat up, and noticed the sea turtle box his brother was holding. "Funny looking NASA paper," the aquanaut teased, chuckling softly when John rolled his eyes.

He knew John tried to avoid the facility if possible.

Not because he didn't enjoy it, but because the last time he visited the center, Mission Control crowded him the point he fainted from the social claustrophobia.

Alan found it amusing.

EOS found it amusing to force Alan to eat freeze dried brussel sprouts and liver with onions meals every day his last rotation on Thunderbird Five for his "rude behavior."

Both men chuckled in the memory, and John handed his brother the box. "Nope, this is for you, a get well soon present," said he said.

Gordon carefully opened up the box, which John had purposely wrapped the two parts separately due to the shoulder being strapped, and gasped.

Inside were two bracelets.

One was similar to his mother's belt, but the paisley and flower design that was in his mom's band was adjusted slightly to include southwestern printed sea turtles and a squid stamp John had custom made. Like his mother's, it was dyed a medium brown.

The other... took Gordon's breath away.

The edges were done in a simple border - scalloped with the occasional octopus and sea turtle stamp in between the scallops. It was dyed mahogany.

It was mostly just border stamped... because the concho fastened in the center was the showstopper.

It was a golden sea turtle, swimming in the middle of a pewter center. “How?…”

Seeing Gordon's eyes water, John chuckled. "Yes, I remembered that concho. Had trouble finding it, but fortunately the store on the Sam Houston Tollway found one and put it aside for me," he said as he put a hand on his brother's uninjured shoulder.

Gordon put the box down and wiped away the tears with his good hand. "Got a bit of hand sanitizer in my eyes. Strong stuff," he said, and John scoffed.

"Yeah, sure... you want me to help put it on your … good wrist?" John said, and coughed when Gordon shot the arm out. "Whew... you weren't kidding on the hand sanitizer,” he laughed, waving the fumes away.

"Yeah... apparently it's 'essense of moonshine' I think. It probably kills germs 10 years before they’re born," Gordon smirked.

The bands fit perfectly, and had a simple button and hole fastener so the doctors or even Gordon could take it off with a push if needed.

John watched his brother admire the bracelet, even taking a few photos of the laughs and chuckles his brother made as he showed it off.

Gordon then paused and looked at John. "You made these right?" he inquired, looking at the antiqued looking band.

The astronaut nodded, and Gordon continued, grinning slightly in memory. "How many bands did the University get you to make in exchange for the use of the studio this time?"

"One - and before you ask, the astronomy one,” John said, touching a button on his baldric to ensure EOS didn’t talk about the wallet. She still had a proclivity to ruin surprises - especially if it was one of John’s younger siblings.

Gordon, knowing how much money usually got raised to but one of these bands, looked at the bands and then John. "Worth every cent," he said, smiling warmly as the nurse came in to check Gordon's vitals and bring dinner.

John took this as a note to head out, but before he left, he looked at his brother, who was bragging about the bracelet his older brother made.

And making it very clear how to take it on and off so this one was not cut off.

The astronaut gave a gentle wave to his brother. "I'll be back later," he said, and headed out.

Hearing the chuckles Gordon made again, John's smile broadened. "Yes, it was worth every single minute and cent to hear that laughter," John murmured, but it was priceless to have his brother saved by those other bands.

Now... how he was going to steal the remnants of the old bands to repurpose into a hippie cuff for Gordon was another story