#and when she has to be/just is so 'masculine' in other ways - hunting and fighting and cars and beer and whatever the fuck -

[sammygender]

of genderswapped sam and dean. who has the short haircut.

THE REAL QUESTION. i could see a case for either. short hair is probably more convenient for hunting after all....

i think dean wears her hair long as a kid because it reminds john of mary. you could make the case that he'd cut her hair because it reminds him of mary too much, but i can't see it really, i think he'd want to preserve the innocence he sees in girlhood that he doesnt seem to in boyhood (a la that whole journal entry about wishing he had girls and how sons have to be soliders). continuing that, i cant actually really see her cutting her hair short at all because it ties her to her mother in her eyes. i think girl dean is like so obsessed with mary. can you imagine like. her whole life is about avenging mary and she's her daughter and the only girl in the family now. she has no adult female role models except her dead mother. she plays into being john (still loves cars and classic rock and wears flannel and leather jackets and is generally 'masculine') but she still sees herself as mary. john sees her as mary too even though he expects her to act exactly like him also. so i think she keeps her hair long. she probably has childhood memories of mary brushing it and wants to hold onto them. i think she likes it long, and i think john likes it long, and i think it reminds them both of mary, and i think they both like that.

sam? well sam is a lot less invested in playing the Role that's expected of him, so. girl sam is victim to levels of misogyny previously unthought of especially in the way where both john and dean see her as soooo weak and little and in need of protection. and they probably rely on the girl thing a lot to infantilise her. so i can totally see her cutting her hair off in a Fuck You to john at some point. tbh i reckon girl sam would have hair like canon sam's later season hair. though rly i can see anything with sam. also i feel like she'd have grown up with a shortish bob because it's easier maintenance (for dean john winchester is NOT bothered with looking after sams hair <3)

also both of those answers are in an au where one of them's raised a girl and the other isn't. but if we're talking total femchesters? john having two daughters? need to think on this more but im still leaning towards sam. i think girl dean commits to being a Girl the same way canon dean commits to being a Guy, even though both of them are shrouded in the same machismo. but sam fights any role hes given

tldr: sam

[milk-ly]

Do you ever think about how Kotoko was pretty much Fuuta’s ideal self.

They both wanted to be the same thing, a long-awaited hero, but Kotoko actually “succeeded” while Fuuta “failed.” And that’s also how we judged them in t1. The fanbase thought of Kotoko as the strong, cool vigilante who took down a bad guy, but Fuuta was viewed as a brutish coward who hid behind a screen and killed an innocent teenager.

You could partially link that to the fact that in the end, their convictions were very different. Kotoko has supposed strong convictions but Fuuta seems to parrot things he probably heard on twitter to reinforce himself that he DOES have "strong convictions" like a hero/vigilante (like kotoko) does. Yet, his actual goal was never really Justice at all. Rather, it was all just to gain acceptance and connection. You can especially see that with how Fuuta stands firm in his ideals like he does with others but then immediately jumps to try and connect with Kotoko and impress her by parroting her words and opinions because he craves acceptance from someone whom he respects in some way.

Fuuta: "Ahh, yeah, Norway! The famous thing they have there!" This man clearly had absolutely never heard of it before until Kotoko brought it up. And he immediately pretended like he knew what she was talking about.

Another aspect is Fuuta's insecurities about how he doesn’t measure up to his ideals of being a strong, independent and responsible man. Like his want to protect others despite his cowardice. Or like how his ideal self in bring it on is seemingly taller and more confident.

Yet, Kotoko has constant traits and connections to masculinity (here's a great post about it by purgemarchlockdown) such as being tall, possessing fighting ability, not wearing more traditionally feminine clothes, and possessing traditionally masculine traits like strength and stoicism. Even stories about werewolves were traditionally more about men. While witch hunts, which Fuuta is connected to, mainly convicted women.

There's also the fact that Fuuta craves ally ship and Kotoko seems to be more well-liked than Fuuta even though they’re both rather standoffish. In fact, you actually see Fuuta going out of his way to interact with others (in his own way) more than Kotoko is throughout t1. (I believe he's the first character to give someone else a physical gift, even if it's just a tomato. And insists on giving Shidou his spinach in return when Shidou wants to give him his natto)

Here, Fuuta is the one who actually approached Mikoto to check on him. Fuuta cares and makes SOME effort to have a good relationship with others he's just uh. He's trying, okay.

Yet, in t1 at least, a good portion of the others generally disliked him or looked down on him in some way. Kotoko on the other hand was in pretty good terms with everyone until t2. (Aside from Mikoto, but that's because Kotoko doesn't like him, not the other way around) And considering the fact that Fuuta wants that acceptance so bad, Kotoko has that ideal.

And side note, do you ever think about how their murders frame both Kotoko and Fuuta’s ideal self as fallen heroes tainted by blood?

Or how these two saw each other as pretty similar at first before their true differences hit them both in the face?

And also how Fuuta starts t1 by seeing Es (and you) as the enemy but then draws a direct parallel between him and Es (and you) in t2? But Kotoko does the exact opposite, starting out in T1 and T2 trying to team up because of your similarities, and then ends up seeing you as weak by the end?

Ohhh 03 + 10 character foils…

[owengrose]

Blacknatural

I've been rewriting and recasting Blacknatural in my head so here's the updated cast + storylines. Some of these casting decisions have fundamental story changes, but some of them don't have to change at all (gee it's almost like Black people are just as capable of representing the human experience as white people..........)

Mary Campbell Winchester: Nicole Beharie

Mary comes from a long line of hunters who balance hunting and living a life by operating more as defenders than hunters. They never seek out threats, they only defend their community against monsters that do harm. She's good at what she does and loves doing it. When she announces she's marrying John Winchester, a white man her parents have never met who actively enlisted to fight in Iraq, they're understandably against it. She's constantly self-sabotaging the relationship bc "something" is telling her it's not right (it's her free will resisting the Cupid match with everything she's got). The night of the fire, she's finally gathered up the ability to leave them. Sam cries and she goes to comfort her one last time (she does love them even if she never wants them and can't be maternal) and that's when the fire strikes. When she comes back, it’s like no time has passed for her but suddenly her children are adults. She tries to be their mom again, thinking it might be easier since they’re grown, but they still want and expect things from her that she can’t give, so she strikes out on her own again.

When she learns she and John were a Cupid match, she’s both angry that she wasn’t given any agency in her life and relieved that she wasn’t the one who fucked up her life with bad choices.

Dean Winchester: Keiynan Lonsdale

His only frame of reference for masculinity is the middle-class white masculinity shown on motel cable TV and the movies they snuck into (man cave, cars, objectifying women, beer, physical strength, etc). His performance of this + skill at hunting attracted something close enough to approval from John, and raised no eyebrows from almost anyone else, so it let him fly under the radar. But he's cultivated this performance so thoroughly that he's not even sure there is an authentic self underneath it.

Sam Winchester: Storm Reid

Sam has struggled her whole life with other's perceptions of her. The siblings' upbringing is seen by others as very white trash, but she obviously doesn't neatly fit into that category. But being raised by John, who made no effort to celebrate or even recognize their Blackness, gave her no connection to her own Blackness to draw on. At Stanford, she double majors in pre-law and African-American Studies, joins the BSU, and does everything she can to make her narrative #BlackExcellence despite constantly feeling like an imposter. Her dating Jess, a white girl, doesn't make that much easier. She and Jess are a Cupid match, though we don't find this out until later.

Mirroring Mary, she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body. When she's suddenly left with Kevin when Dean and Cas get sent to Purgatory, she does her best but is struggling and resentful the whole time. When Kevin is taken by Crowley, she's secretly relieved and makes no effort to rescue him. The guilt of this haunts her for the rest of the show, even though she's fully aware that she would do it again if she had the chance to do it over. Because of this, she isn't resentful of resurrected Mary being unable/unwilling to be a mother to them the same way Dean is.

Rufus Turner: Steven Williams

Rather than leaving the kids with Bobby, John would instead leave them with Rufus, with Bobby instead being a fellow hunter that Rufus knows (essentially flipping their roles narratively). Rufus and John didn't get along, with John devaluing his years of experience and dismissing his approach to hunting as focusing on defending his town of Greenwood, Mississippi (similar to the Campbell family). With this ideology, he would take the kids hunting for animals rather than monsters, and did his best to plant the idea in them that the only supernatural beings that need to be hunted are the ones actively causing harm, encouraging them not to "chase trouble". While he would never send them out on hunts across the country, he would assist them with advice, resources, and fake FBI verification whenever asked. He also gave both of them The Talk about police, since John didn't know or care to.

Castiel: DeRon Horton

Compounding his difficulty in understanding and interacting with humans is the added layer of racism. White people are less forthcoming at best and outright hostile at worst. When interacting with Black people, he misses most if not all of the cultural references and understandings they expect him to have. (Someone tries to dap him up. This does not go well for him.) This also strains his relationship with Claire; he looks like her father but has no context for family in-jokes and stories, Black cultural references and understandings, or American references.

Because he has no context for these references, but recognizes that they seem to be important, he looks up every reference that someone makes that he misses. Sam is the only person who will explain a reference to him, having had to do the same thing to try and fit in at Stanford.

Eileen Leahy: Treshelle Edmond

Being a Black Deaf lesbian hunter has made her used to taking care of herself, being either infantilized or disregarded by most in whatever situation she finds herself in. Not only is she excellent at taking care of herself, she knows that even the most well-meaning people cannot take care of her as well as she can. Sam's instinct to respect her skill and defer to her understanding makes Eileen feel finally seen, and is why Sam's attempts at being protective feel so smothering to her. They're both independent people who come together by choice, not by necessity. She's thrown by the revelation of Chuck's interference because it calls into question whether she's done so well because of her own merit, or because of his interference. It also means that every fucked-up thing she's endured hasn't been from the random chaos of life, which she can understand and accept, but has instead been deliberate decisions caused by yet another person in a position of power who decided their narrative was more important than her own autonomy.

Rowena Mcleod: Dominique Jackson

Condemned to death by the British for practicing Obeah, which they called witchcraft and devilry, she was able to escape and survive through a mix of cunning and magic. She aimed to survive and thrive despite the colonizers running rampant through her country, and viewed Crowley as an obstacle to that and so abandoned him. As she and Sam bond, she helps her tap back into the abilities that were there that the demon blood enhanced. As Sam, still wrestling with ideas of purity regarding human and non-human, struggles with this, Rowena points out that ideas of purity like that are colonial philosophies. It is pure because it is innate to her, denying it is the real impurity.

Adam Milligan: Jaboukie Young-White

Azazel/Yellow Eyes: Lakeith Stanfield

@daalcuntynatural and I talked about this before. He just has an otherworldly and unsettling vibe that makes him absolutely perfect.

Mr. Tran: Osric Chau

Mr. Tran is a devoted single father to high school student Kevin Tran. Unlike John, Mr. Tran goes out of his way to celebrate Kevin's dual heritage. Kevin's mom passed away when Kevin was a baby due to complications from birth that the hospital staff didn't take seriously. Because of this, Mr. Tran is a bit overprotective because he is very aware that people will not always take Kevin's concerns and struggles as seriously as they deserve. Kevin, in turn, pushes himself very hard (too hard) because he doesn't want all of his father's hard work to be for nothing.

Osric was done so dirty on this show (killed off over and over), and deserves the opportunity to have some fucking dignity.

[solid-six]

Replaying AW2 yet again, now well into the double-digits I'm sure, and felt compelled to list out some of my favorite bits/moments that have probably been mentioned by others already, but are things I personally haven't seen pointed out yet.

How, while towards the beginning she reacts with a bit more distress, towards the end Saga just starts telling fake-dead-child-Logan to shut up.

Similarly, how towards the end Alan just gradually gets more pissed at the Dark Presence, telling it to fuck off etc.. I love me some believable character frustration.

How in the first couple convos between Saga/Casey/Alan in the field office, Casey can barely stop from laughing at how ridiculous it all is. How you can both see and hear the snark dripping off him. "NO DICE, PAL."

The way Saga says ‘BON!’ in the trailer. I stg, you could give me no further context, and I could hear her say that one word and think 'that is a parent recalling something their kid was super into that probably annoyed said parent and they're glad the phase has passed but also retrospectively kind of endearing to think about' all just from how she says it. I can hear eye-rolling, laughter, and a shed tear all at once.

When Alan reads the dark poem on the wall after the first murder site, and he says something like "…did I write this?" and then he concludes "…NO." And he doesn't elaborate further. The way he says "No" there gets me every time. Is it because it's a wildly different style, and he's like 'I couldn't have written that'? Is it because it offends him, like 'I would NEVER write that'? Is it because he thinks it's lame/cliched and he's above it, he's 'better' than that? What makes him so certain?!

How Alan often touches the bullet hole spot on his forehead when he wakes up.

Pretty much all of the things the Taken shout/mumble. Lots of favs, but one that gets me every time is when one shouts at you nothing except “PERCOLATORRRRRRRR”. My partner and I do this to each other regularly now.

The occasional couple things Alan shouts while he's reloading in the middle of a fight. "...shit, shit, SHIT." and "COME ON!" I really wish there were more of these, even just variations of the same. They get a little repetitive, but - again - I *adore* realistic character frustration.

The few times while profiling a character, Saga pushes someone for an answer she's not getting, and the sequence turns red and feels almost dangerous, like she normally doesn't push that hard.

The knocking lady in the lodge. How you see her 2 or 3 times, and she starts out lightly knocking and ends up literally kicking on the walls.

When in one of the manuscript pages, Alan says in character ‘HUNTING SEASON WAS A BUST'.

How Saga, after seeing visions of Alan in the overlaps, gradually is like ‘dude, you’re OUT already!’ '...what? Trapped HOW?!?. What does that even MEAN?!?' Love it when characters are believably frustrated!

Saga shouting "JESUS!" after getting startled by the cassette player laughing.

"Ed wished he could remember what that point was. Something about...masculinity."

The two dudes who seem to go to the sauna together, but also kinda don't like each other?

How Saga actually carries the moose head.

The one Cynthia jump scare that legit knocks pots and pans over in the wellness center cafeteria.

The differences between how Rose tells Saga about finding ‘secret messages’, and how she tells it to Alan later on. Like how she so convincingly LOVES this. The tradition of Jesse/Saga/Rose getting dragged into some paranatural shit and being like "...yeah I vibe with this."

Saga’s grey hairs.

[toastandjamie]

You know I think the most compelling thing about Mat is? He’s a subversion of literally everything his character is Supposed to be. He’s the rogue archetype but he’s not a lonewolf or even particularly cowardly despite his insistence in the contrary. His major character trait is his Loyalty, that’s his defining characteristic. Not his wit or even his charm though he has both, the thing that all other characters around him mention is that he’s loyal and true to his word. Not the most Rogue-like personality traits.

But he’s not even just a subversion of the rogue archetype. He’s also a subversion of masculinity in a lot of ways, he’s described as wiry and isn’t especially tall. He ISNT physically intimidating, which stands juxtaposed to him being one of the greatest generals and fighters in the book. I really like how the fact that he isn’t what people expect is one of his strengths, he’s chronically underestimated by other characters. When he’s hunted by darkfriends they often send big classic street thugs after him and expect him to be overpowered because unlike Rand or Perrin he doesn’t LOOK strong. Only the moment anyone actually gets into a fight with him they’re taken off guard by his absolutely brutally he fights. And he’s not actually that physically strong, he’s certainly not weak by any means, but compared to many of the other characters and enemies they face Mat isn’t particularly strong. He instead outsmarts his opponents, he’s faster and more agile, he takes advantage of distance fighting mostly with throwing knives, polearms, and long bows.

Compared to the other Ta’veren he’s also the least traditionally heroic, “he’s no bloody hero” isn’t entirely a false claim. He’s the only one the three Ta’veren boys that doesn’t have a crisis of conscious over being violent in battle, sure he’s got the sane hang up as Rand about killing women, but he had no issues with immediately employing guerrilla warfare against the Seanchen and never takes prisoners. The Aes Sedai tell him off for leaving leaving wounded enemies without aid, breaking the rules of warfare, and he tells them that he doesn’t care about being honorable. And he doesn’t, Perrin and Rand(particularly in the beginning and end of his character arc) tend to be very honorable and respectable opponents when they aren’t fighting Shadowspawn. Mat will cheat and trick throughout battles because he’s first and only priority is keeping himself and as many of his men alive as possible while killing as many enemies as he can. He’s vicious and efficient, Perrin went back for the Whitecloaks in Towers of Midnight, where Mat wouldn’t have. He helps invent canons and immediately begins trying to make the automatic crossbows faster, because his priority is always doing the most damage to the rival army before retreating to safety. Mat’s style of warfare is certainly reflective of RJ’s experience in Vietnam. The Band literally wears camo armor.

Lastly is Mat and Tuon’s relationship. When we first learn of the Daughter of Nine Moons prophecy, Mat always describes this future as her appearing from the ether and spiriting him away, and Egwene’s vision is of Tuon wrestling Mat to the ground and collaring him. We are set up with the expectation that Tuon is going to be the one chasing him down and capturing him. Then Mat kidnaps Tuon and you’d think “oh there’s the subversion Tuon’s the kidnapped damsel” but BAM we get another subversion because Tuon CHOSE to be kidnapped, and Mat fell head over heels in love with her, like tripping off a cliff. She didn’t capture him physically but she certainly captured his heart and that has always been a much more effective collar and leash than any physical one you could put on him.

I just love Mat being so unexpected to both the audience and other characters. I love how he’s just a walking contradiction, of being irresponsible but loyal, being vicious but compassionate, being foolish and clever. He’s everything and nothing, complicated and simple. I love him.

[ozfi]

Ryuki thoughts compiled

background and wishes

sudo: a detective, allegedly, in the past running unsavory criminal practices with kaga-san. kaga asks for a larger cut, so sudo plasters him into a wall. enthralled by the idea of "standing at the top" as a rider

kitaoka: crooked embezzling lawyer in it for money and status. flirts with women while gay married. shame. wish is to live forever. cure his illness. he is afraid of death

shinji: found deck by chance, and became a rider to find the truth. to protect people. her wish became to seal the mirror world and end the rider fight.

ren: bad attitude, only made enemies. cute girlfriend tho. eri was sacrificed on kanzaki's experiment and only clings to life. Ren fights for the possibility of reviving her, instead of taking his anger out on kanzaki. p hateable tho imo.

shibaura: cunty gamer businessman who takes over OREJournal to imitate the rider fight as a game between normies, to control their hearts. son of president shibaura. nepobaby rampage

tezuka: fortune teller who wants to change the fates of the riders, kanzaki himself, and... pride

asakura: violent crimnal who joins to get himself out of an earned sentence and enact his hatred upon the world that "looks down on him". finds his jacket in an american war store. cops piss him off because they have authority over him

satoru: wants to be a hero, wans to prove his brand of forced heroism is correct above all others. wants to win the rider fight to become a true hero

sano-kun: "I'm unlucky." Bitch. doesn't care about other's lives, just his next paycheck. Temporarily embarassed nepobaby. his wish may have been to be "happy", but it was actually to have a literally richer life

kanzaki: abused child who exists just to keep his sister alive. is willing to do whatever it takes to achieve this.

look at all the drama. is it worth it?

eri in this post is dead in the sense of deadwifisms i know she was just in a coma (that is to be elaborated on) - also what the fuck ren (i know why) and despite (no. because of this) ren is not man enough. he is weak, so he runs to something worse, which is asakura. at this point, manhood is all he has. he literally lashes out at shinji for suggesting there may be another way. ren sets asakura on shinji because he can't kill him himself. and asakura continues to be a force of this ... raw masculinity in how it relates to violence. he is "free", but he's being chased down by the police and has been forced into hiding despite his newfound power. when ren realizes this fact about him, that he has no noble reason for being part of the fight, he just craves the system's violence, he wonders how he could ever, even briefly, have wanted to be like asakura. asakura is the epitome of what's going on in the rider war.

he's so perfect for it that kanzaki specifically hunted him down to speed the fight up. is that what you want to be, ren? of course when shinji comes to take ren's motivation seriously, this choice bites ren right in the ass! you wanted asakura to kill shinji for you? so you didn't have to? because asakura is more contemptable? someone you would rather kill?

shinji may not understand whats going on yet exactly, but she wants to take all of it as seriously as possible. she's not trying to understmine anyone's feelings, and by taking the fight seriously, it gets easier to see why one's desperation may take hold to such an extent. to understand the underlying mechanisms. See Post Above. Look at all the drama.

"why is shinji eris standin. already. LOL." nobody knows rens fighting for eri. but kitaoka knows ren is "sacrificing for someone else", especially by contrasting that with the fact he, kitaoka, only fights for himself, and thats what makes him strong. (except he does love his gorochan 🙄). tezukas constantly calling ren out on caring about shinji despite (or because of) his silences and self-flagellation, which is the same way ren acts abt eri, minus being a tsundere asshole. only shinji gets that, tho id Love to see how ren acted when he and eri met. asakura knows (now, at least) that while ren was trying to get him to fight shinji, ren got directly involved and saved her instead. every other rider thinks rens a gay idiot also. for shinji. its like every other rider can see it except ren.

this part is also the second instance of ren bringing up a debt to indicate he cares about someone, in this case its that he owes shinji, but isnt going to let shinjis debt be repaid so simply. (what would tie them together at this point otherwise)

shinji decides its better to go from the outside and attempt to change the other riders as people as opposed to changing them as riders, which id say even at this point is already in the works because of a certain akiyama beside her. that empathy does not exist in anyone else. even though ren's change inspired this. not even a slightly more outwardly kind ren can see this working, only shinji. notably, yui has the same idea.

the time vent episode is great even beyond the obvious because it shows kanzakis motivations very clearly. the card is used after reiko discovers shiros face in a security tape and tells yui shiro died last year, in america. so maybe, one might come to the conclusion that kanzaki wants to make sure reiko doesnt find that out OR so she doesnt tell yui even if she does, and yui doesnt have to know the truth about shiro (preferably ever). but you find out at the end of the episode it was never about that, despite him saying so ("As long as you never find out the truth.") the episode before. it was about a single drawing from their childhood that had gotten wet after yui knocked over a full vase. what ryuki tells us with this one move is what shiro is fighting for is not yui as she exists now. what shiro is fighting for is yui as she existed in their childhood. he is willing to do anything to... turn back the clock, one could say. he is chasing a decade old memory and is trapped in the past while trying to keep control of the future.

but going back to earlier, in regards to asakura being the pinnacle of male violence, saving mika, regardless of reasoning, proves he is not a monster though he never was, he's just as human as any of the others, of course. hes literally never been a mindless animal. she is the only one that did not survive the first trip, and he stayed with her the entire time and did not attack her. again, the reason doesnt matter here: even the worst people can have their good points. people are not black and white. later, he even proves to have some sort of honor in regards to who and what and when he attacks, at least when it comes to the rider battle. like shinji says, nobody is better off dead. this, too, is the ethos of ryuki.

Tell me more about how your dead girlfriend hates cycles you can't get off, Ren.

ren asking to fight shinji immediately after shiro uses eri's health (and fucking bugging him again, jackass) to get him to fight more- so ren doesnt get so attached to shinji he runs the risk of waking up one day and realizing he cant even bear to lift his sword against her anymore. and the worst part is, in rens eyes, theres no possible way their friendship could ever end well. but to shinji, who believes in a way out, even if she can't quite see exactly what it is yet (though she tries so hard to get there, to that unknowable future) she tries so hard to be not only ren's friend but everyone elses, even in the depths of their despair. and this is after ren talks about eri being afraid of the people she loves vanishing on the merry-go-round, where his urgency to fight leaves yui left behind. so blinded by his fear and the cycle telling his ass to get a move on. yui may be an adult to him, but yui is shiro's eri, and still someone ren cares about, it's just another way that the rider battle steps all over Eri's (and Yui's, and...!) desire for peace.

back to the deadwifisms: it IS actually important that eri was just in a coma and not actually dead, because it means there was a chance of her waking up before the time limit passed, without ren becoming the embodiment of The Thing That Killed Her. he also has to go greet her, newly awakened, covered in blood and injuries badly taken care of, so even if he runs from her he cant hide what he chose to do against her wishes. (the deadness comes also from the doctors anticipating her dying in her coma.) and now that what ren was fighting for came true before the timer, he has to keep fighting anyway to keep darkwing from eating him (which is such a metaphor. buying into the cycle of violence means breaking from it is not so easy, what a concept)

she does note his expression has gotten kinder, but who is the one who made him softer? and even then, hes not communicating anything to that person or yui. even if hes changed, its not nearly enough to save him from the cycle.

the show also constantly displays that normal people can see whats going on in the mirror world, and that means all of this goes on right under everyone's noses. these systems and cycles repeat because nobody looks hard enough. nobody digs deep enough to realize whats going on underneath (luckily OREjournal is on the case!)

the trolley problem is bullshit, also. in general, but also in this case. if yui died, shiro could bring her back any number of ways, from time vent to the rider battle wish. not that the 401 lab knows that... but this is used further to combat shinjis idealism: "Those who don't have the courage to risk something shouldn't be riders." why is risking her life not enough? why should she have to have some grand ideal? is valuing human life not enough?

in this way tojo works as a good foil to shinji, in that he takes every lesson in so-called heroism and tries to forcefully became a hero by checking off guidelines. hes trying to do what he thinks is right, sure. but so is everyone. again, why is his wish more important than anyone else's? shinji doesnt want anything except for the fighting to stop. shinji wants to save everyone she can, is a hero by accident. she is magnetic even while being called an idiot. but people dont like satoru. the only person who really did to any degree was kagawa, and satoru killed him with his own hands.

and then sano for ren. sano got his wish before the battle ended, and he thought he could just leave (ren was never under this assumption). sano thought this was all a game, where it never was for ren. even after eri woke up, it was life for death. but this is another person who was drawn in when he should have just been patient and waited things out instead of immediately jumping into the easy way out. should have let the future take its couse instead of rushing things with violence. but once you join, you cant leave so easily. it will not let you go, even if you make a hasty decision, or you were just playing around.

You are culpable of the violence you perpetuate, no matter the reason.

especially in satosano's cases. so killing people is how you become the person you want to be? so your wish is granted on its own and you immediately start treating others the way you didnt want to be treated? you "Just wanted to be happy"? BULLSHIT! when your happiness is predicated on using and abusing others, you dont get to ask what you did.

here is another instance of ren using debts to not admit he cares, also. he saves kitaoka instead of making the more "wise" decision of letting tojo kill him. kitaoka notices the illness is making him weaker, though he doesnt want to admit it. he muses on what ren's already left behind, that he wishes he were more like asakura. cold and unfeeling. but he doesnt hold onto this for long, instead subtly wishing goro would move on in anticipation of his upcoming death. he doesnt even really want to fight anymore, just feels the responsibility of asakura remaining in the fight- but goro doesnt want to leave kitaoka behind, or to leave his business unfinished in the wake of.

where satorus unthinking act of heroism saves a man and his child.

but shinji gets pushed to the brink finally, because of yuis impending death, and tries taking on anyone and everyone. ren, who she cant hurt. kitaoka, who doesnt want to. asakura, who she cant find. when shinji's not man enough, everyone tells her to be. but when she tries to be, everyone pities her and wont engage. why, when its what everyone wanted? why would nobody listen until she got pushed to the brink? (because you finally got through to them.)

but. she clears her head and comes back to herself. and shes the only one standing up for yui's wishes at the very end. that she deserves to live or die on her own terms, where ren is arguing being alive is more important than her wanting her to be. but you can see he always had compatibility with shinji's way of thinking, even if he was a silent brooding tsundere who never admitted it- once you die, its all over. and living means you have a future, even if you dont want to be alive. but shinji would rather her make her own choices with her own dignity, especially because theyve both wanted the fighting to stop this whole time. if this really does hinge on her, its her place to tell everyone to stop.

yui passes urging shiro to stop the violence.

shinji passes, finally having made up her mind on her wish. wanting to seal the mirror world, to end the violence, even if it means others cant fight for their desires. despite rens insistence she lives, that shes the only one who can end everything, she goes.

kitaoka passes, loved.

gorou passes, loving.

asakura goes down, and at least hes proudly himself.

ren fights for eri AND shinji at the end, the woman who inspired him to fight and the woman who inspired him to live, but dies without taking the wish at the very end, tearing the necklace of promise off his neck and giving eri their rings, dying next to her while she wakes up anyway.

and shiro doesnt want to let go, because in the end hes still that child who is begging for his sister to wake up, but she insists theyll always be together, and neither of them will never be alone again. so this time, they should draw a world without monsters, where everyone is happy and together.

and he grants her wish.

so. this is a show about wishes. about fate and defying it. about looking to the future instead of being stuck in the past. about grief and loss. about the cycles of violence that undercut our world, and the value of any human life not being greater or lesser than any other. the cast of ryuki are men who want some sort of power to live a life different than the one they have, and a spanner in the works who wants to remind them that a human life is a heavy price to pay for any wish. an anomaly that reminds them there is another way out. a girl who thinks harder than she believes, has a smile like the sun, and holds a heart bigger than the system can tolerate.

just live. dont try to take any others time away. through the stress and the worry, through all the bad and the end that comes for us all, why extend the pain with more strife? violence only leads to more violence. appreciate the time you have. try to imagine a kinder world instead, one where everyone can be happy.

[shipcestuous]

This might come a little out of left field, but lately I've been thinking a bit about Grendel and his mother, from Beowulf.

Their story in itself shows what looks to be a great bond between them. They seem to live alon together in isolation, under a lake, and when Beowulf rips off Grendel's arm and Grendel flees from Heorot, he returns there to die, or perhaps in hopes his mother might be able to help him. Grendel's mother avenges him going to Heorot herself, which she'd probably never done before, and killing king Hrothgar's most beloved and trusted advisor. Later, Beowful, her son's slayer, dives under the lake to kill her, and she puts up a good fight, sharing Grendel's own strength and invulnerability to normal weapons: in her fury, she puts Beowulf in a very tough spot, and he only saves himself because he finds an ancient magical sword just in time.

Grendel and his mother are said to be descended from Cain and they apparently have some inhuman features (Grendel has nails like sharp iron blades, at least) but they also have human-like shapes as well as human like emotions like rage or grief. This already sets them apart from other characters and creatures: they're only similar to each other, and perhaps that's why they live in the wild together, only interacting with others in violent ways. Then, there's also how they've been interpreted in both academia and pop culture.

You have readings that challenge the way they're traditionally seen as monsters, because we're sure at least the mother is able to feel love and mourn. You also have queer readings of them, focusing on how they live outside the bounds of normal society, with Grendel not seeking either the bonds between men that Anglo-Saxon warriors were expected to develop or anything at all with a woman who's not his mother, while Grendel's mother takes on the usually masculine role of the avenger of her family when usually a woman would need to spur her remaining male relatives or the male followers of her dead husband/brother/son into taking revenge on her behalf. You have the novel Grendel, where said character is very philosophical and nihilistic while his mother is much more primitive and animalistic, and that drives a wedge between them through the years, as Grendel starts out clinging to her and taking comfort in her in his moments of despair but then comes to believe through the years that his mother, fiercely protective of him as she is, is only able to love him as an extension of herself. You even have the movie Beowulf & Grendel, where they're reimagined as the last Neanderthals, with Hrothgar having hunted down and killed Grendel's father when Grendel was just a child for daring to be too different and "uncivilized", and Grendel himself tormenting the Danes out of the desire to avenge his dad, as well as raping a woman to get a child so that his family wouldn't end with him but then not showing any more sexual interest in her.

... you do also have at least two movies that I can remember where Grendel's secretly Hrothgar child and after his death his mother barely avenges him before turning to Beowulf like "hey, handsome, wanna give me another son?" like she doesn't really give a damn about her children and they're all totally replaceable as they're just tools for her to gain power over men and eventually destroy them. But. Let's not go there, lol. Personally, I think of that as just a forced "shocking twist" that doesn't really resonate with anything in the text.

All in all, they're a very thightly-knit pair. And that comes with so much potential to have them be mirrors of each other, too different for everyone else but not for each other, yet also to inject the tragedy of having only one person in the world and then having your relationship with them end too soon or eventually turn sour somehow in their relationship. And the fact that Grendel's father isn't in the picture and is in fact never mentioned in the poem, as well as Grendel not having a mate or showing any desire to have one... well. That's definitely interesting.

For some reason, I thought that Grendel and his mother had been mentioned before. But maybe I just saw it somewhere else.

What a thoughtful commentary on their relationship! There's a lot that seems to be suggestive about their situation. It very much feels like they have no other match.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us!

[redbuddi]

Just went through your Phantom Redux tag and I like it so far!

I'm kinda curious about the Fenton family in this concept now. Any major changes from the original you'd like to share?

Yup!

When MILF meets DILF (Apologies for the awkward Jack design, I am bad at drawing large lads, this design is not final)

A lot of the core of the OG family will remain more or less the same, but like with Jazz slight tweaks need to be made to match the newer dynamics of the story.

Like in the OG series, Jack and Maddie are a couple obsessed with ghosts and ghost-hunting, despite never having found a ghost. I do have slight backstories for them this time, but these are details that would mainly exist in the background and probably won't ever come to the forefront.

For Maddie she had always been interested in ghosts, growing up in the swamps countless myths and stories were told to her and she had numerous encounters that made her adamant that ghosts were real. She studied hard and eventually got into a prestigious college on a scholarship, where she first met Jack and Vlad, and the story from there is the same as in the show.

She is loving, supportive, and fiercely protective of her children, and this in itself fuels her desire to hunt ghosts. From an early age she was taught to fear ghosts and other supernatural entities, and she wants to protect her family from any threats that may arise. However, ironically, it's this obsession with protection that makes her more absent from her kids lives than she probably should be. Even after Danny's accident, she still is obsessed with fighting ghosts, and the fact that tangible ghost threats show up shortly after certainly doesn't help.

She is sensitive to the fact that Danny and Jazz have grown distant, but is assuming that they're just rebelling as teens do. Still, it does kind of hurt the way Jazz doesn't seem to respect her work, and how neither kids seem interested in ghost-hunting, and as the story goes on this tension will only build.

Jack, on the other hand, is from old money, a family of ultra-rich and successful scientists, but like Maddie he developed an intense fascination with ghosts that wouldn't go away no matter what his family tried. He was also friends with Vlad from a very early age, who also came from a wealthy family and shared his interest in ghosts, but knew how to keep it on the down-low. They went to college together, and when Jack made it clear that he wasn't ever giving up on ghosts, the family decided that the best thing to do would just be to give him a massive lump-sum of money on the condition that he change his last name and never bring them up again. This is meant to explain how Jack got into the same fancy college as Maddie and Vlad despite being less competent, why you never see Jack's side of the family, and how the Fenton's are able to afford all of their facilities even before it turns out that ghosts are real. Like I said, though, this will primarily exist in the background, although as you can probably already tell it does also play into Vlad's backstory a bit~

Jack is loud, boisterous, and overwhelmingly positive. He isn't stupid, as many consider him to be, but he is extremely scatterbrained and will often miss the smaller details. He loves his kids and is passionate about sharing his work, but is more understanding of their lack of interest in ghost-hunting given his own break from his family. To him, it's much more important that his kids are around and happy than that they follow in their footsteps, something that he will often help remind Maddie of. He has a slightly better relationship with Jazz because of this, as Jazz sees him as incompetent but well-meaning, but for reasons he doesn't understand Danny is even more distant with him than with Maddie. The reason for this is because while Jack isn't a bad person and is certainly more open-minded than his parents, he is still very old-fashioned, especially when it comes to gender roles and traditional masculinity. On top of this, while both Danny's parents misgender him, being unaware that he is trans, Jack is more likely to use specifically gendered language like "That's my girl", while Maddie tends to use terms like "honey" or "sweetie," which is more gender-neutral.

Jack is somewhat aware of his old-fashioned behavior and will often ask and try to understand his families experiences as woman, but since Danny isn't one, this just further drives a wedge between the two.

As a unit Jack and Maddie are hell-bent on fighting ghosts, not just researching them, and this is the biggest difference between them and Team Phantom. Danny originally also believes that all ghosts are evil, and though he and Tucker invent the thermos to put the ghosts back in the Ghost Zone, this is less out of altruistic reasons and more because Danny simply lacks the ability to destroy ghosts at the beginning of the series. However over time they learn that evil ghosts are a small minority of ghosts, and the majority of them just want to be left alone. Over time Team Phantom will pivot it's approach from fighting ghosts, to understanding them and what their needs are, as even violent ghosts can become docile and even friendly if the right conditions are met. But meanwhile, Maddie and Jack are still hunting ghosts, and thus while at first Danny could at least try to cooperate behind his secret identity, he eventually becomes actively opposed to them, as does Jazz, making life in the Fenton household even more stressful as the story goes on...

[rise-my-angel]

I find it so funny that the North is such a brawny masculine place and yet the Starks and a lot of the other family's feel way more feminist then any of the so called Queens in the show.

Like obviously in comparison to a more modern society, no they aren't particularly progressive, but in the terms of their own world, there are interesting hints that showcase they are actually a lot less rigid then their reputation precedes.

(Here's a read more beacuse I am living in Yap City apparently)

Maege Mormont is Lady of Bear Island, has never been married and has five girls, none of whom has an identifiable father and no one really bats an eye. She calls them Mormonts and so does everyone else. There's an interesting exchange between the Tarlys and Gilly when she and Sam are in Hornhill, where Sams mother after hearing that Gilly knows how to hunt, explains that she once met Greatjon Umber, who had taught his daughters how to hunt and Sams sister expresses interest in that beacuse her father never would bring her hunting.

Ned himself never looked back negatively at Lyanna in her interest in less formal Lady like duties, and thus he doesn't look down on Arya for it either. He at first struggles to allow his daughter to use a sword, but then he talks to her, hears she has a genuine interest in it, and goes out of his way to hire a tutor for her that can teach her a fighting style better for her then normal men learn. And when Arya explains to him that she does not see her future as marrying a lord and ruling his castle, Ned doesn't talk down to her. In fact he has to turn away from looking at her suddenly, because he starts to smile and hides that he isn't at all disappointed in her for it. She starts wearing pants, doesn't spend time fancying her hair, is covered in scrapes and bruises just like his sons growing up no doubt and even in the capital, never tries to get her to change.

He has visions for her from the way he grew up, but Ned is accepting that Arya is different and fosters her unique, more typically masculine traits beacuse those are what make her happy. Same with Jon, who was brought up just like any other Northern Lords son. He enjoys those things about Arya, and fosters that passion by making her a sword suited to her size and tells her just like his father does later, "This is no toy." He takes her interest seriously.

But like Ned, he also never is seen putting Sansa down for not being like that. Sansa at the start of the series is more traditionally feminine, and Jon nor other male Starks are ever seen looking down on her for it. She likes embroidery, cross stitching, she makes her own dresses and likes having her hair done all fancy and prides herself in being ladylike. (Jon and Aryas personal issues with Sansa are outside her femininity, Jons is her classist attitude being an extension of the way Catlyn treats him and Aryas is a resentment of Sansa's femininity soley out of an anger brewed from years of her and her friends bullying Arya).

Obviously they aren't perfect. The North has always practiced traditional inheritance, meaning sons before daughters. Sansa herself tells Sweet Robin that girls where she comes from didn't participate in things like executions and violence.

So lets talk about the typically most popular anti north/anti stark point against them: The First Night.

Now there's speculation of just how prevalent the practice of First Nights were in the North, which is the now mostly extinct tradition of a Lord or King having the right to bed the bride of a smallfolk couple on their wedding night. They could do it with highborn brides but this rarely took place as to avoid causing potential conflicts between great Houses. In ancient times, the men engaging in this were seen as strong and it was considered an honour. Which is dumb. We all know thats dumb, and that this was a gross practice.

But I have my own theories based on what we know of the people whom have actively spoken about it and what we know about the North in the first place. Now this did stem from The First Men, but considering the First Men's records of this started at The Dawn Age (before the Long Night so this is MORE then 8000 years prior to the start of the series).

Now note that the Andals when they arrived some 4 to 6 thousand years prior to the start of the series, they adopted this as well. Meaning this was not strictly a Northern thing, but more like a then culturally accepted thing. Much like how slavery in Westeros used to be culturally accepted. Like our world, times change and traditions fade until they are outlawed. Yes the First Night thing is gross, and eventually it was outlawed rather late.

But the mutiliating act of flaying men was also not outlawed until Ned Stark himself outlawed it. That doesn't mean it was a rampant tradition. Note that actually, the only Northern characters who participated in flaying, and also are directly referenced to First Nights, are the Boltons. Roose and Ramsay both indicate that this was something Roose Bolton still did in secret, much like how clearly they still flay their enemies when it's also outlawed.

Most likely, First Night was not a thing for a very long time. Most Lords and the Starks realized that this was not an acceptable traditon, and slowly it stopped. By the time the Targaryeans came and outlawed it, I'd find it more likely that it was a case like outlawing flaying.

It was not a universally practiced tradition, but those who did, went overboard with it until an authority figure had to step in and outlaw it just to force that specific party to stop. (Its the Boltons its always the Boltons, the Boltons were literally House Starks greatest opposition during their time as an independant Kingdom).

Thats usually the biggest flag against the North, the First Night. But I extend people to realize that it is highly unlikely it was a rampant tradition that was outlawed suddenly. That would've likely caused a big stir against the Targaryeans, suddenly outlawing a massively practiced tradition. More likely, no one really engaged in it anymore but those who still did (the Boltons cough cough), were enough to say enough is enough now its just outlawed. Like a "You clearly can't just behave like a civilized human being so now being a FREAK is illegal, grow up."

Female warriors are more common. No one bats an eye that Maege and Dacey Mormont are active and skilled warriors in Robb's army, they are just there amongst the sausage fest and there isn't this big subplot that they shouldn't be. Dacey even dances with Robb at one point and its noted how graceful of a dancer she is, meaning the Mormont women are clearly good balances of ladylike and engaging in masculine traits.

Because Northerners in universe have a reputation of being cold, stern, rigid, and uptight, I think people misidentify them as also being conservative in nature. But they aren't. Especially the Starks and the Mormonts. They value duty and honour but not through the disrespectful treatment of human life. The treatment we see of Northern women is much more open and fair then Southern women.

The Starks and the respect they still showed Arya despite her engaging in not ladylike behavior. The North in their simple acceptance of the Mormonts, and how the women run the island and do not confine themselves to that of marriage. Maege's daughter Alysane is also unmarried with two children who don't get called bastards. Not everyone is going to do this with theirs, but we never see other Northern characters actively look down on the Mormonts for these things. They are valued and welcome friends like any other.

Sansa gets treated like a stupid girl in Kings Landing beacuse she's just that, a girl. Whereas, Jon is constantly arguing with Sansa about his rulings, beacuse he does not treat her with kid gloves. He argues with her the way he argues with any of his men, her being a girl has nothing to do with why he shuts down her suggestions. (he shuts them down beacuse hes good at ruling and Sansa SUCKS at it)

Ned talks about wanting to find Sansa a better match "Someone whose brave and gentle and strong". Not because he wants to control her through marriage, but beacuse SHE wants to get married and he'd rather see her marry someone who will make her happy as opposed to someone who would just expert her to make him happy. Arya is only a couple years younger then Sansa, and Ned doesn't even entertain the subject of betrothals to her, because she does not engage with it.

He only tried to placate Lyanna about her unhappiness with marrying Robert, beacuse he was not in control. That was their fathers choice, Ned cannot change that and he recognizes Roberts faults. So he tries to say that maybe it won't be as bad as she thinks, because he cannot help her get out of it, so he tries to help her not be miserable about it.

The North is this harsh, brutal and masculine place, but it does not expect women to be the same, nor does it look down on women for engaging with that culture in either direction.

The clown car show portrays any women who does not fall into the "free independent woman" trope as either delicate like Helaena, or just plainly in the wrong, like Alicent. It's Rhaenyra's woman way or bust, no real argument there. And yet STILL, they portray both these women as soft who do not wish for war and bloodshed and blame the men in their life for causing this strife.

When in the books, Rhaenyra and Alicent BOTH wanted bloodshed and violence and vengeance. They were not just victims to the actions of the men around them, they took part in the same desire for action and war as those men, even if just not ON the battlefield.

Young Rhaenyra is actually far closer to this "feminist" angle they are going for. Beacuse while she is a petty, violent, arrogant, self centered brat, she has her own agency. She knows what she wants and takes it, for good or bad. She is in control of her life, and works around the control the men wish to impose on her for her own wants.

Adult Rhaenyra does nothing, cries, is powerless against what the men in her life do, and would rather prefer peace then being fucking violently angry at the woman who is protecting the man who killed her son. Alicent who I must emphasize, HELD A KNIFE UP TO RHAENYRA SHAKING IN ANGER, suddenly just wants her friend back and has no wants or needs beyond what everyone around her is doing separate of her involvement.

These women have no agency, but the show is not at all aware of that. They think this is the portrayal of equality we deserve.

Women who cannot control the brutish men and just want peace and have no thoughts and hangups of their own that define them as both good and bad at the same time. They are EITHER bad or good, but deep down, they're literally just mothers. We're mothers and so we do not want bloodshed.

Tell that to the version of Alicent that was ready to stab a bitch for her mutilated, now disabled sons sake. Where is that Alicent? Where is the Rhaenyra that said children scream like boars and then proceeded to later violently hack and slash at one because she actually enjoys the violent side of her life.

Where are these womens fucking agency beyond whatever the men are doing at any given time?

[vacantgodling]

#21: Erik Soori

From your birth, you’ve always been known to have a bleeding heart. You can’t help it; love is the strongest force in the universe and you’re particularly sensitive to them. Friends, family, enemies, lovers—you pour your heart out to them, even if they only take your tidings and leave you with nothing in return. Still, you love, and you give, and you fight because you love them. No matter the loss, you persevere for love. Even if that very arm that holds your heart is taken from you, you can’t bring yourself to regret it. Not for a second.

“erik” means mighty ruler. “soori” means red flower

31, cis male (he/him), romance: YES but perhaps has the Worst taste ever (not only because its awful, but because it seems that he can never win. poor boy is just a bleeding heart). sex: definitely. preference: both masculine and feminine.

erik stands at about 5’10” with broad shoulders. he has a large, pointed nose, and his skin is tan like the wheat of a field. his eyes are a light brown, bordering on yellow but with enough darkness to make the distinction and his hair is a deep, almost sea green color. it’s wavy and reaches about his shoulders. he has a short, somewhat scraggly beard that is the same color as his hair and he usually keeps it neat but it always looks a little patchy. his smile is crooked and his eyes are narrow but warm. he has a very strong Diisaian accent (similar to a Scottish accent) since he grew up far away from the city of Mordiga.

a RANGER, wielding the famed diisaiian longbow—its much different than the bows frequently used by guilders on the mainland (such as forte or helix). the longbow is nearly the size of erik’s body, and takes nearly one’s full strength to pull it—it’s so large because it was meant to fly across the wide open plains of the diisaiin landscape to hunt big game monsters and predators. erik got his start in archery from his father and was already learning to pull his own bow by the age of 14. he has powerful arms and back muscles, but also an unwavering stance that can withstand the heavy draw of his bow. unlike rangers from the mainland, erik’s bow style is more about power than precision, and his arrows can and have taken monster’s heads clean off.

erik is a down to earth man, but he’s highly superstitious and often won’t do certain things because of the potential luck associated with it. his loyalty and love for his homeland show even as he speaks, and he’s the definition of a lover, not a fighter. that doesn’t stop him from drawing his bow; in fact he always claims that love is what spurs him on—love for his culture, his family, and his newfound friends and guildmates and his desire to protect them or bring them pride. he’s very self depreciating despite any of his talents yet in the same sentence can be prideful. erik seems to be a man of contradictions to many; he’s open but secretive, humble but boastful, kind but can be surprisingly cold. much of the more dour turns in his personality were definitely extrapolated by his time coming to the mainland and specifically bloomed when he had the unfortunate hand of falling in love with dion, who he is also on a team with. he’s loved dion since about they met perhaps, but with a love so strong that it only sought to see him happy. this hasn’t stopped him from pursuing other interests, such as galen (though that was cut short), even fia (as a tease and a bit of payback to dion, but also because it’s hard not to love fia) before she and dion became a couple. now, he’d say his closest friends are miona and papa because they are also from diisai. when he’s not training or with dion, he can always be found at papa’s bar reminiscing about home. 

3 fun facts about them: he collects bird feathers as he was told as a child that the only way to rid himself of the bad luck he carries is on the wings of a bird. what sort of specific bird, he doesn’t know and he has yet to tell anyone, but he collects any feather he finds all the same in hopes of combating his birthday curse. he tends to always wear one singular feather in his hat as a good luck charm. the death of their teammates did affect erik greatly, but he’s pushed down that feeling as he helped dion through it mostly—he still hasn’t opened up about his pain in that regard, and part of him vows that he never will. he’s very dramatic and is prone to tears and throwing himself across the bar when he’s mildly disconcerted. miona and papa love teasing him for this.

[hazzypisce]

Jegulus mini one-shot (implied jegulily)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Toxicomania

Ao3 link:

Summary:

James and Regulus died because of their addictions (caused by the war’s stress and losses) and left baby Harry a letter expressing their feelings.

Notes:

Ok, so I don’t remember why I wrote this but I’ve found the draft so I guess I will post it now, as a very short one-shot, after having classes about “Toxicomania” :)

Probably, it was about something that had happened in my life.

Pls, tell me if you find any mistakes!

Words:

774

Additional Tags:

Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Letters, Character Death, alcoholic james potter, Trans Regulus Black, Post-Second Wizarding War with Voldemort (Harry Potter), Addiction, Cigarettes, Implied/Referenced Alcohol, Abuse/Alcoholism, Regret.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Hello baby,

I know you probably miss us as much as we will miss you, but you have to understand that the effects of the war stayed with this family, even in our happiest moments, like the day you were born. We couldn’t bear the thought of ruining this family with our traumas and bad habits. We are sorry for all the days you saw us drinking and smoking until we passed out on the family couch.]

You may not realize it now, but we’ve tried, I swear. We went to therapy, we took a handful of medications every day and we tried getting better for you.

But everything that happened in the worst years of our lives, everyone that has died in front of our very eyes, hunted us until our last breath. It is honestly gut-wrenching to think that you will grow up and maybe resent us, maybe for having you while we were depressed and getting addicted, maybe for making you live somewhere else with your uncle, far away from all your friends, but it is what it is.

We also hope you will forget that rainy angst day that took us away as the night started. It was a day just like any other, me and your father were thinking of the dark times when lord Voldemort killed your mother Lily while drinking on the couch. And as the dark started to appear, we had gone away with the sun, little by little. I can’t exactly remember if it was the alcohol or if it was our hearts that stopped working, but the second I opened my eyes and saw your father glowing under the moon in the middle of a very dark forest, I knew that we were no longer going to be with you and maybe it was for the best.

We killed ourselves, but we know that you will be in great hands and will succeed in life. Maybe in some other world, we’ve had an intervention and learned how to cope with our past for you, but someone can only dream of that now.

In reality, let’s face it, we couldn't have done anything, we were destined to die together this way. Sirius, Remus, Marlene, Dorcas, and even Peter tried to help, but to no avail, we knew we were in a critical state, but at the same time, we didn't think it was that bad. Being addicted to something, especially when it destroys you and your loved ones, hurts and it is difficult to stop, you know?

It turns out that drowning in your sorrows and worries with these things is not the most brilliant idea someone can have, but amid the chaos of war, fights, family problems, identity crises, and eventually a pregnancy, despair speaks louder.

And that's how we started with this whole story, before managing to hold it together for a few years. I think it's worth highlighting that for a long time, between the pregnancy and Harry's birthday (I don’t know which one tho), we were fine, Reg and me in this case, because soon after I started dating him, he had the long-awaited masculinizing mammoplasty, and everything was getting better after a succession of stresses.

But then Lily showed up holding a baby that I didn’t even know existed, and I freaked out after she told me it was ours. But we eventually liked the idea of being parents and were over the moon with the news, even though Reg was scared that someone would refer to him as your “mom”.

But it didn't last long before our problems and addictions came back, with full force. And just like that, the house smelled like cigarettes and alcohol again. Along with the bitter taste of death after Lily’s passing, the very last act of Voldemort and his followers. I can't remember exactly when habits so dark and forgotten in a deep sleep resurfaced, but I'll never forget Harry's face watching me vomit until I almost passed out after drinking too much, or when he came across his other father smoking three packs of cigarettes in one afternoon. We were a lot worse than we thought, and now I kind of wish I had passed laying on Reggie’s lap, it would be the last bit of happiness I would have experienced.

And to be honest, you got rid of the people that were most hurting you. We are so sorry, son. Please seek help and talk with your uncle and our friends if you need to. We want you to continue with life and thrive.

With love, your fathers James and Regulus.

[sleeps-au-bag]

sue times aka tsukasa's opinion on the twst characters

yume asta: likes her a lot, especially since they've both been isekai'd. finds it somewhat odd and a bit annoying she keeps up their idol persona all the time though.

grim: neutral. grim doesn't seem to like him but he doesn't really care. he also causes a lot of sue's headaches due to his loudness.

ace trappola: his roommate. at first he didn't like her but after book three they become awkward friends. he does know he'll get into a fight for her and she'll do the same for him.

deuce spade: also his roommate. appreciates his efforts in becoming an honors student. finds him to be a great study buddy. friendly teasing between the two of them.

riddle rosehearts: proud of her. before her overblot, he was really scared of her and actively avoided her. after her overblot he's been helping her be more kind to others and is proud to see her grow.

cater diamond: he's really confused about him. he can understand his surface personality pretty well. when he looks more into his senior, he always comes out confused.

trey clover: neutral as well. don't get him wrong, his senior's a good guy, it's just that he doesn't really find any appeal in him. he only ever talks to trey when he needs help.

jack howl: scared but friendly. the only reason why he feels fear around jack is because of the rabbit instincts. find him very pleasant to talk to when he gets past his prickly exterior.

ruggie bucchi: unknown. they've never interacted with each other before.

leona kingscholar: fear. he doesn't know if it's because of the overblot or the rabbit instincts. he tries to steer clear of leona as much as possible.

floyd leech: hates him. he finds floyd incredibly annoying to deal with. he also finds him quite boring to be honest.

jade leech: also hates him. jade's vibes are off so he never interacts with him. he also remembers about what jade said about his friend one time and never forgave him for it.

azul ashengrotto: can he say he hates octaniville safely? finds azul's pursuits in capitalism boring and a waste of time. he also doesn't forgive him for trying to steal ramshackle away from yume.

jamil viper: unknown. his character is very conflicting, so his thoughts about jamil are also pretty conflicting. he hopes that jamil finds the freedom he's looking for.

kalim al-asim: likes him but also kind of pities him. finds him as one of the few nice and kind people at nrc, even if oblivious. he also pities kalim because he knows the stories of what happens to heirs of highly valuable families.

epel felmier: finds his toxic masculinity unbearable. would probably get along great with him if it wasn't for that. other than that, no opinion on him.

rook hunt: tries to actively avoid him at all times. it's hard trying to talk to KAITO and miku without the hunter overhearing things. his vibes are also really off.

vil schoenheit: admires his acting a lot. he keeps imagining roles that would fit the housewarden very well but keeps the ideas to himself. admires him from a distance.

ortho shroud: he's a really cool friend. chronically offline and literally always online friendship vibes. ortho was the second to figure out the isekai stuff so he fills tsukasa in on twisted wonderland information which he's grateful for.

idia shroud: has literally never seen the guy.

alexander goldenheart: he's like his older brother in a way. sees him as a very close friend and confides in him a lot. the first to figure out the isekai stuff so they always stick close by each other.

sebek zigvolt: he finds it hard to get a good opinion on the half-fae.

silver: great senpai! he likes his calm energy which is helpful for when he feels overstimulated. everything feels a lot better.

lillia vanrogue: has not met him.

malleus draconia: hasn't met him either.

[aangtheairbender]

This is what I mean with the cookie-cutter perfect main protagonist. We fell in love with those characters because they had flaws like us, but managed to evolve and grow in a positiv way that both benefitted themselves and the others in their life.

I want to see a characters that is like me. That has faults and sides that aren't some attraktive; but can show with hard work and a change of both heart and mindset- are able to accomplish the things they set out to do.

Having perfect characters from the starts, doesn't really do much for a show. Why should I follow the "growth" and progress of a character that is already at the goal.

I'm also so against the way tv production make fictional character. They make them spotless. Everything is practically perfect and yet, people finds way to complain about them. We need characters that can grow and people needs to realise that showing bad or negative traits in a character is important for the story building and for the audience. Showing bad traits and how to overcome them is a good thing. If you want a generation that isnt sexist (in this case), you don't show a character that is not. You show what they do and say to overcome that hurdle.

Even as a child, when I first watched ATLA, I was never unsure that sokka was out of line to mock Katara in that way or that is was childish of him to not accept that the kyoshi warriors were all young women that captured them. But it was still important to see that growth in him, because I knew that were negative traits and a bad mindset to have towards women; I wanted to see him overcome it and be better person.

This is why i think "wokeness" ruins remakes and new tv shows. Because, people just can't handle very "human" faults in character. We see this with every Disney remake. With new shows for young adults. Every line and every point of progress is basically spoon fed to the audience, soi there wont the any interpatation of what is wrong and what is right.

I just think we need dynamic characters that clearly has sides to them that every person can relate to. I mean, is sokka is a "problematic character"....why not just drop Iroh and Zuko that literally was hunting the avatar to kill/capture him. But they wont do that, because then the movie doesn't have a conflict and you droop two of the most likes character. It just doesn't make sense in my eyes.

We need characters with faults. I think if you are either scared that you or your close ones (children etc) are going to be influenced by watching a character like sokka; maybe you don't have the maturity to make you own morals stance and shouldn't watch a show like that.

Tv shows and movies are there to place your morals for you. If you can't pick what's right and what's wrong between being a sexist and not; you shouldn't watch a show like that. If it upset you that much, the solution isn't to get rid of those traits. It is to not watch it.

Also, I think it's wrong to remove Katara's more emphatic and sympatic sides in the name of "modern feminism". I hate when film producers do that. They want strong females, so they give them the traits of toxic masculinity. When Katara's motherly sides was never a weakness for her. It made her strong and it made her fight for people she cared about.

That is just mu thoughts. I'm never really for the remake of things. I don't really think it does any good and nobody likes them, it seems like. Why not make new plots and stories. Like they could have made a film out of the comics or something. I don't think I will see the movie, just because I don't the necessity of having it made and because I will literally be watching new characters just with the same name.

Just read that the live action Avatar the Last Airbender is making Sokka less misogynistic which I think is actually a poor choice

Part of what made Sokka a good and interesting character was seeing him grow from a boy who often insulted women into a man who regularly drank his respect women juice

We need to allow people to be shitty and yet grow into better people and Sokka was a good example of that because he was generally still likeable as a character overall, even when he was being kind of a dick

Giving him the chance to learn and grow as a person was part of what made him a well rounded character and to remove that is likely to make him a flatter character overall

[calaofnoldor]

What’s Mine

Characters: Sam x F!Reader, Dean

Words: 7,595

Summary: The secret you and Sam are hiding from Dean is threatened by your inability to keep your hands off each other.

Warnings: 18+ no actual smut but plenty of implied smut, pre-smut, and smut adjacency lol, secret dating, enemies to lovers, jealousy and possessiveness (exhibited by both sam and reader), slight obsession with sam’s big ass hands (i blame this largely on @walkerboy290​‘s glorious hand porn gif sets), and language

A/N: inspired by and written for @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ bc she’s been bugging me to write smut and using her birthday as a bargaining chip, so i hope you’re happy sai. happy (belated) birthday babe! i suppose in my subconscious need to truly honor you, this became the longest one shot i’ve ever written... that and this is now also a little birthday gesture for the brilliant and beautiful @sams-sass​​ (damn your close birthdays!) even though she never asked for smut (if you hate it, i’ll write you something else!) happy birthday to you too, darling!

also written for @superbadassnatural​‘s 333 badass followers celebration with the prompt “___ and I are together.” “Yeah, right, and I’m Santa.” and @writethelifeyouwant​‘s 300 follower fic challenge with the prompt “All the pretty girls like Samuel” (both prompts are bolded in the fic) i’m sorry i’m so late! congratulations to both of you and thanks for letting me enter your challenges!

[basically i have a lot of people to blame for this disaster 😂]

Square Filled: Secret Dating for @spnfluffbingo​ and Enemies to Lovers for @girl-next-door-writes​ Make Me Feel Bingo

MASTERLIST

The waffles on your plate are surprisingly good for a sketchy, 50’s-themed diner, but unfortunately your attention is elsewhere. In fact, the two distinctly masculine voices behind you have been obnoxiously impairing your ability to savor the buttery, syrup-doused carbs since their owners sat down in the adjoining booth. It’s the topic of their discussion that disturbs you, and nips at your conscience until you realize you can no longer take off without imparting a few words to your oblivious colleagues.

Turning your head subtly to the side, you try to catch a glimpse of the men you’re about to confront in your peripheral vision. From what you can see, they’re both rather burly, a little rough around the edges, and from what you’ve heard, recklessly cocksure. You know the type all too well. Being a lone hunter of the fairer sex for most of your life means you’ve long since learned that the best way to combat their kind is with a steadfast façade of thick skin and unwavering confidence.

So you sigh and put on your best smile before turning around, crossing your forearms along the top of the booth seat, “Listen fellas, I hate to interrupt, but I really wouldn’t bother with the bamboo dagger and Shinto priest if I were you.”

“And who the hell are you?” the one with shorter hair demands. He’s a bit stockier than his companion and has a face that looks like it was designed by Abercrombie and Fitch - well that explains the arrogance.

“I’m the person who’s about to save your asses evidently,” you respond with a smug grin, trying not to let their absurdly good looks deter your act.

Abercrombie’s partner, the Fabio wannabe, releases a quiet scoff, “And how are you gonna do that?” he questions dubiously.

“By letting you in on a little secret…” Throwing him a tight smile, you lean forward and lower your voice, “That ōkami you’re after? It’s not an ōkami, it’s a ghoul.” Sitting back, you await the outrage.

“What?! But that’s not possible, I checked the lore. And it’s obviously got a type.” Fabio’s glossy chestnut locks fall across his delicate features as he shakes his head in disbelief, and you almost snort out loud. How did this amateur expect to hunt with hair like that?

You look him over, taking in the broad shoulders and muscled arms, as well as the obvious height advantage he’s got over Abercrombie even whilst they’re both seated. To be honest, you’re surprised he’s referencing lore at all. Guys his size always assume they can either outman or outgun whatever obstacles cross their path, and they almost never take women like you seriously, despite your ample years of acquired knowledge and invaluable experience. It’s this experience that surmises a bit of antagonism here is inevitable, so you might as well get a head start.

“Yeah well maybe you should check again, big guy,” you glance down at his hands, your first mistake as their sheer size render you speechless and subsequently agitated at yourself for the momentary lapse of visceral lust, but the show must go on, “Make sure those giant, lumbering hands of yours don’t fumble over anything important or you might miss the connection to Isabelle Harding. You see it’s not ‘a type’; it’s revenge.”

“Wh- Bu- I looked through the files. I wouldn’t have missed that,” Fabio insists.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you type ‘Isabelle Harding’ and ‘1987 school bombing’ into your search bar and see what comes up?” you gesture towards the laptop on their table with a raised brow. Minutes later, both men are dumbfounded by the revelation on the screen, staring between it and you with their mouths agape.  

You chuckle silently at their faces, “Don’t worry, there’s no need to thank me. Although you rookies might wanna go home and let the more experienced hunter finish up here.” As you’re about to bid them farewell, you dip back in to add, “Oh and a word of free advice, maybe don’t discuss supernatural monsters quite so loudly in public spaces next time. It might invite unwanted attention.”

With that, you turn around and slap some cash down next to your unfinished waffles, before grabbing your jacket and strutting out the door.

Sam is left in utter confusion. The sudden animosity you had spouted his way seems completely baseless and unwarranted. Had he somehow offended you? Sam generally considers himself a highly respectful and fairly easy-going guy, not quite as hot-blooded as his brother, and thus not as likely to provoke such antipathy from a complete stranger. To make matters worse, he certainly can’t deny that something about you had registered within his subconscious as inexplicably attractive, despite the way you’d embarrassed him. In his flustered and slightly aroused state, it had been all he could do to remain awestruck in his seat and stare blatantly at your ass as you walked away.

The next time Sam sees you is only twelve hours later and no less humiliating. You’re mid-swing in the killing blow against what you had accurately predicted to be a ghoul as he and Dean tumble in. Despite the low lighting, Sam is once again stupefied by your raging beauty, augmented by the incredible skill you’re displaying in a much more physical sense this time around. Before he can drag his eyes away, there’s a collective shout of “watch out!” and suddenly you’re right in front of him. In a blur of events, you somehow manage to push Sam out of the way and successfully decapitate the unexpected second ghoul that had been sneaking up behind him, with only a slice across the arm to show for it.

“Didn’t I tell you two to go home?” You’re panting from the exertion and Sam’s gaze lands on the neckline of your shirt, skewed from the fight and revealing a good amount of cleavage. He quickly averts his eyes. What is happening? Sam can’t remember the last time anyone had evoked such a staggering reaction from him. He feels as if he’s a mere spectator in his own body.

Across from him, you press your hand against the wound and curse when it comes back covered in blood. At your groan of pain, Sam finally finds his voice again, “Shit. I’m so sorry! I don’t know how I missed that other one. I- that normally doesn’t happen.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s what you say to all the girls, huh?” you reply offhand, still a bit out of breath.

It’s easy for Sam to dismiss your mocking given that he feels terribly guilty for being the cause of your injury. From where he’s standing, the cut looks deep. “Here, at least let me stitch it up for you. It’s too awkward a position for you to do it yourself,” he offers, holding out his ginormous hands to you like he’s waving a white flag.

“I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, haven’t you, big guy? At this point, I’d rather Abercrombie over there be the one behind the needle.”

“Who- what?” are the first words Dean speaks since the action has died down.

You turn to face the shorter guy, “Oh don’t look so surprised. You might as well be the model for a slightly older Ken doll. Are you up for it or not?”

Dean’s mouth hangs open as he tries to determine whether he should feel flattered or insulted.

“Uh- actually, I’m better at stitches than my brother,” Sam butts in.

“With those jumbo, fumbling hands? Yeah, sure you are, big guy,” you decline skeptically.

“It’s Sam,” he states through a clenched jaw.

“OK, Sam. Since I just saved your life, you mind making yourself useful and burning those bodies while your bro puts my arm back together? You know, as a ‘thank you’ perhaps?”

Sam is stunned for the third time that day. No one has ever belittled him (whilst gratuitously attacking his size) insofar without any apparent reason. It seems as though his very existence upsets you and the arbitrariness of your contempt has caused an anger to stir beneath him, but beyond that lies bewilderment and irritation. How had he managed to accomplish two such massive mistakes in front of you in the span of so short a time? Perturbed and bitter, Sam silently sets to work on the bodies.

Meanwhile, you’ve come to a surprising realization as Dean begins to cut the fabric of your flannel away from your damaged arm, the name ‘Sam’ and the words ‘my brother’ resounding in your head, “Wait a second- there’s no way… you’re not… the Winchesters, are you? Sam and… Dean?”

“The one and only, sweetheart.” He sends you a dazzling smile that is as perfect as you’d expect, but within his eyes is an underlying poignancy that you recognize as clear as day: an indication of a traumatic past and a lifetime spent plastering on tough veneers. You notice as well how gentle his touch is and how his stitches are practiced and prudent. Perhaps you had judged him too hastily.

Through an incredulous chuckle, you retort, “Well I can’t say I didn’t expect more from you, but at least this’ll get me a free round of drinks at the hunters’ pub tonight.”

Dean laughs with you before sobering at the thought of how his baby brother must be feeling, “Hey listen, take it easy on Sammy, alright? I don’t know what’s gotten into him today but he’s not usually like this. He’s actually the smart one, believe it or not.”

Scoffing, you can’t help but smile back at Dean and soon find an easy rhythm with the older Winchester, despite your awkward introduction.

From several yards away, however, Sam looks wistfully back to see you smiling lightheartedly at something Dean’s said, the two of you huddled in close proximity as his brother’s hands drift across your bare skin. Something akin to envy bubbles within his chest although he’s aware it makes no sense, so with a frown, Sam does his best to shake it off and get back to work.

But it’s not easy to forget you. And just as Sam is beginning to think he’s rid that awful day from his memory, you pop back into his life three months down the line.

“Well, if it isn’t the overgrown hunter extraordinaire Sammy Winchester.” The sarcasm that oozes from your otherwise beguiling voice has him gritting his teeth in no time.

“It’s Sam.”

“So you here to mess up my hunt again, Sam?”

Although he wishes he could have been the bigger man instead of surrendering to the resentment you roused within him, after a couple repeated hatchet burying attempts fall through, Sam just can’t resist the little game you’ve started.

Over the next few months, you and Dean form a fortuitously close bond and the older Winchester develops a habit of calling you up when faced with a troublesome hunt, and vice versa. Despite Sam’s fabricated displeasure, a show he puts on mostly for Dean (since any other emotion would seem illogical given the way you treat him), Sam is peculiarly and begrudgingly excited to see you every time. But the match never ends. In fact, Sam lets it intensify each time you work together, always astounded by how you manage to get him so worked up.

“I’m telling you, it’s a rugaru!”

“Right, because the last time we listened to you, things worked out so well,” you remark sardonically.

“The lore says-“

“Ooh, quoting the lore again now are we, Mr. Know It All?”

At this point, Sam is about as huffy and puffy as the big bad wolf and if he were a cartoon character, there’d surely be steam erupting from his ears. “Look, Y/N, this isn’t about who knows more or who’s right; this is about saving those people’s lives!”

“You think I don’t know that? Was I not the one who saved your life the first time we met?”

“OK, alright, just shut up you two!” Dean finally shouts above you, “Would it kill you to just get along for two seconds?”

“No,” Sam admits.

“Probably,” you say at the same time, causing Sam to shoot you his overly perfected bitch face.

SIX MONTHS LATER

“What the fuck?!” Dean’s booming voice echoes throughout the bunker and moments later you and Sam come flying into the kitchen to answer his call, guns at the ready.

“What? What is it?” you ask while Sam scans the room.

A whimper is the only the way to describe the sound of Dean’s reply, as he points toward an unseen object on the floor. Edging toward him, you lower your gun in the direction of his finger until you discover the source of Dean’s distress.

With a sigh, you look toward Sam who is also exhaling in relief at the sight of the entity in question. The two of you share a moment of wordless conversation before simultaneously dropping your guns with a conclusive nod.

“Why does this feel like déjà vu?” Dean’s tone is still timid and appalled, and you nearly laugh at the idea of a grown-ass man looking so aghast because of a used condom.

“Because it kinda is…” you supply unhelpfully, earning yourself a small glare from the man beside you.

“Dean,” Sam begins with a deep breath, “There’s something we have to tell you… Y/N and I are together.”

The snort that escapes Dean is full-bodied and borderline psychotic, “Yeah, right, and I’m Santa!”

You wait till his snickering subsides, “No, it- it’s true.” Your voice is hesitant yet hopeful, “We’re not joking. We’ve kinda become… a thing.”

“A thing?”

“Yeah, well you know, I don’t wanna have to put a label on it or-“

“Y/N’s my girlfriend,” Sam declares with conviction as he reaches out to curl his long fingers around your waist and lasso you towards him.

“-Buuuut, that is the one I’d use if anyone asks,” you quickly affirm with a stiff pat to your boyfriend’s abdomen, wincing at the unversed attempt of PDA and missing the dimpled grin that crosses Sam’s amused features.

“Well, I don’t buy it. I don’t believe either of you.” Dean’s sturgeon face comes on strong as he shakes his head and points a challenging finger at you, “Kiss him, right now,” he dares with perked brows.

The eye roll you respond with is so dramatic your entire head moves with it. But then, without a moment of pause, you turn your body into Sam’s, reach up to grab the back of his neck and pull him down for a searing kiss. Now this is something you’re well-versed in. The reunion of your lips starts off relatively slow, but it doesn’t take long to escalate into something more fiery that involves tongue, the eager push and pull movements of your bodies, and Sam’s enormous hands cradling your head.

After a moment of shock, Dean objects, “Alright, alright, I get it! That’s enough of that!”

Unwilling to recede just yet, you linger in the kiss for a little longer, delaying your separation by nibbling down on Sam’s lower lip and tugging gently, only releasing it as you pull away torturously slow. When the two of you finally open your languid eyes, it’s to stare into each other’s dilated pupils and ponder the moment for an indiscernible minute.

“What th- I said, I get it! Now could please stop ogling each other before my lunch comes back out the wrong way?!”

But the way Sam’s smiling at you is addictive and you can’t bring yourself to look away until he forces a break by leaning in to plant a tender kiss upon your forehead before tucking you into his side as he faces his brother again.

Dean’s face is covered by his hand, “I’m gonna need a minute. I just-“ His features leap through a range of expressions as he tries to find the right words, “When the hell did this start anyway? I thought you two couldn’t stand each other?”

“Yeahhh, that was mostly an act. Although we bought it at first too,” you explain with a shrug.

“We weren’t pretending the whole time. It just kind of happened and we didn’t really know how else to act around each other by then,” Sam adds.

“Right, basically it turns out there’s a fine line between love and hate... and that line is hardcore yearning.” Your words bring a chuckle to Sam’s lips but his brother still looks out of sorts.

Shaking his head with closed eyes, Dean sighs, “Alright, can someone just explain to me exactly how this happened, because I’m still not computing here. But spare me the details and try to keep it PG-13,” he emphasizes with adamant hand gestures.

“How do you know it’s not PG-13?” you inquire with a held-back laugh.

“Ha. With the way you two were playing tonsil hockey just now, I can tell you’ve been around the bend way more than I wanna know. My little brother doesn’t kiss like that on the first date.”

It’s impossible to hold back a giggle at the memory of your ‘first date’ and the way Sam had kissed you, “OK well, that would be hard, considering the story involves a lot of sex... You wanna give it a go, big guy?” you pass the ball over to Sam with a quirked brow and lowered voice, to which he responds with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, a little warning glance that you’re well aware means ‘save it for the bedroom’ but you simply smirk up at him.  

‘Big guy’ used to be a term you called Sam in contempt, but when the feelings between you evolved and a sexual relationship developed, it became an innuendo, such that calling him ‘big guy’ in front of Dean or in public almost always results in glorious sex. In fact, sometimes you believe the nickname has held a slightly obscene connotation for you since the beginning.

Afterall, your carnal longing for him has been present from day one, although at the time you had believed it to be purely physical. Sure, you had dreams about having him in various positions in your bed, but you figured those were merely betrayals of your subconscious mind. That was until one day, a heated argument in a rare moment alone had ended up in a violent make out session, after which the two of you had just barely gotten the last of your clothes back on before Dean walked in. One look at your worked up and frenetic states alongside the disordered condition of your surroundings, and he immediately assumed you’d been fighting again (which wasn’t terribly far from the truth), chortling as he asked if you would have killed each other had he returned a bit later.

With a clearing of his throat, Sam begins to recount the tale, “Uh, well it started in that motel in South Carolina, while you were out getting food…”

“Look, all I’m saying is there is no way he’s using the hospital as a dump site! It’s just not feasible!”

With complete disregard for the peace and quiet of the other residents within this thin-walled motel, you and Sam once again find yourselves in a shouting match.

“Oh right, I forgot! You’re Sam Winchester! How could you POSSIBLY be wrong?! Mister ‘look at me, my IQ and LSAT score match my fucking height! Oh and I also happen to have the physique of an Adonis without even owning a gym membership!’” you roar bitterly, gesticulating with your hands to help better communicate your pent-up indignation.

“Right and you’re Y/N Y/L/N, so how could YOU possibly be wrong? Miss ‘look at me, I never went to college but I’m a genius AND I can kick ass! Oh and I also happen to look effortlessly stunning through it all!’” Sam suddenly seems bigger than ever as he towers over you, that panty-soaking deep voice emanating from his diaphragm and infusing itself throughout the entire room until all you can see, hear, and breathe is Sam.

The fury takes over and you don’t notice your feet taking you closer to him, “Oh yeah because you don’t make EVERYTHING you do look so unnecessarily hot and make me wanna rip your clothes off all the damn time!”

“Fuck! And you don’t always drive me crazy when we have these stupid arguments and your chest starts heaving and you look so insanely delectable I just wanna pick you up and fuck you against the closest surface!” By now, the distance between you is essentially nonexistent and your brain is no longer run by reason.

“So why don’t you then?” are your famous last words, prompting Sam to grab you wildly by the back of a thigh, lifting slightly and driving you to climb up him like a spider monkey fleeing from a grounded predator, while his other hand pushes your hair aside to gain better access to your face. Your mouths clash in a fierce battle and before you know it, Sam’s huge hands are cupping your ass as your legs wrap around his waist and you rut into him, hands flying from his shoulders to his hair. Those divine chestnut locks that you’ve always dreamed of running your fingers through. They’re somehow even softer than you imagined and the revelation, in conjunction with the way Sam’s tongue is becoming increasingly aggressive causes a fresh surge of libidinous energy to rocket through you. As a result, you give his silky strands an irresistible tug and drink in the moan he makes, the sinful sound reverberating straight down to your core as you clench around nothing.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam groans as he grudgingly forces himself to pull back as much as he can, “Are you sure? Is this what you want? Cause I can’t- Y/N I won’t be able to stop myself if we keep going.” His eyes squeeze shut as if the notion of stopping or the act of keeping his lips away from yours is causing him genuine pain, and the entire gesture moves you.

“Fuck, you really are the opposite of everything I thought you would be,” you make a quick mental note to apologize later for your initially presumptuous behavior although you can’t find it within yourself to feel any remorse right now, “Yes, please Sam, fuck me. I want you so bad… I think I have since we met and I saw those gorgeous hands of yours,” you confess, biting your lip lightly.

Sam breathes out a low incredulous laugh, “What, these?” he asks, removing one of the aforementioned hands away from your butt to bring it into your line of vision.

“Yes, fuck they’re so big and beautiful and strong and-“

“Alright, I don’t need to know about your weird hand fetish!” Dean hollers abruptly, rubbing his fingers across his eyes as if he could somehow erase the image of you and his brother together out of his retinas. “OK, but that was like… four months ago. You mean you’ve been sneaking around behind my back this whole time?”

“Well at first we didn’t want to tell you because we weren’t even sure what it was ourselves,” you divulge.

“Yeah, we didn’t want to try to explain something that we didn’t understand yet,” Sam supplements, hoping his brother will understand the motive behind your secrecy.

You nod along, “But then… it got a little harder to hide.”

The apprehension behind Dean’s emerald eyes is unmistakable as he reluctantly inquires, “That’s why this felt like déjà vu?”

It’s with a grimace that you reply, hesitantly, “Remember the time you found those panties in the backseat of the Impala?”

Dean’s eyes grow comically wide and Sam ducks his head in preparation of what’s to come.

“Yeah, there’s a story behind that…”

The click of her heels against the porcelain-tiled foyer irritates you as the three of you stride through her front door. You’re posing as detectives sent to question this overdressed young woman about her late husband, but the moment she lays her eyes on Sam, you reckon she’s forgotten her beloved’s damn name.

“Oh my… lord and savior. Well aren’t you a tall drink of water?” she beholds breathlessly with a seductive bite of her painted ruby lips.

You cough loudly and Dean sniggers, thinking you’re annoyed about Sam getting such commendation and attention during a serious case.

“I know this might be the grief talking, but I would climb you like a tree,” she purrs, sauntering up to Sam with an exaggerated sway of her hips. With her half-lidded doe eyes adorned with dark, fluttery lashes and low, sultry voice, you have to admit she’s quite attractive.

Grinding your teeth as your nails dig into your palms, you glower at the woman unreservedly. She, however, takes no notice, running her hands along Sam’s forearms before gripping at his bicep to lead him toward her living room. “Please, come have a seat, detective. You can ask me whatever you want.” The wink she appends is somehow the final nail in the coffin.

It’s with zero hesitation that you feign the reception of a notification on your phone before declaring, “Oh would you look at that, the uh… Sheriff needs us back at the station, Sam. He says it’s urgent.” You try to keep your tone even, thankful that you all maintained your real first names for these aliases, “Dean, you’re good to conduct this interview on your own, right?” Without waiting for an answer, you trample over to snatch Sam’s other arm and ignoring the horny widow’s gaping mouth, proceed to haul him away.

Dean sends you a strange look but relents, “Uh, yeah I guess, OK.”

As soon as the door closes behind you, your hand shifts down to lace your fingers with Sam’s, marching him towards the Impala with a staunch and mighty purpose. Even Sam’s elongated legs stumble to keep up.

“So uh… when did you give the Sheriff your number?” There’s an edge in his voice that normally disappears when it’s just the two of you.

“Wha- I didn’t. Sam, I just made all that up,” you tell him as you reach the car and open its back door. Pushing Sam inside, you climb in swiftly after him, wasting no time as you straddle his thighs and begin to undress him, only pausing when he looks up at you in adorable, puppy-like confusion.

“Wait, what? Then what are we doing?”

That’s when it finally dawns on you, “Hold on a sec, were you… jealous?” You can’t help but smile, finding it amusing that he’s stewing in his own envy after what you just witnessed.

“No, I just- He was kinda all over you this morning.”

“You mean like the way Mrs. My-Husband-Just-Died-But-I-Wanna-Climb-You-Like-a-Tree was in there?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about?” Sam perks up, the hint of a smug grin ghosting across his lips.

“She was practically holding your hand!”

“That’s what bothered you the most?” He dips his head to catch your eyes and those variegated irises burn into you with an intense, questioning gaze, alight with mischievous curiosity.

“They’re my hands to hold,” you contend with a pout, subconsciously clenching your thighs around his as you seize one of his large hands with two of your much smaller ones, “Just like you’re my tree to climb.”

Sam’s head falls back in bright laughter, “I thought you said they were ‘oversized’ and ‘ungainly’?” he teases, quoting your previous slights.

“You know I only said that cause Dean was there.”

“I’m pretty sure you called them ‘fumbly’ and ‘lumbering’ the first time we met.”

Staring at his fingers as you play with them, you shiver at the memory of how they feel all over you. “That was cause I used to think all hunters with a Y chromosome were cocky, misogynistic assholes who needed to be knocked down a peg or two.”

“But I proved you wrong, right?”

“Fuck yes you did. So, so wrong. And now you’re mine, and I don’t like seeing other people touch what’s mine,” you growl before returning to your earlier task of removing his clothes, pouncing on him when your fingers finally land on bare skin. You kiss him fiercely, swallowing his surprised grunts with glee, and as his hands start travelling from your hips up to your back, holding you tight against him, your lips move down to his pulse point, sucking, licking, and nibbling, “Mine.”

“Fucking Jesus Christ on a cracker! You goddamn rabbits!” Dean squawks in protest as he begins to pace the floor, “Have you no decency?! And in my poor Baby! While I was busy doing all the work, saving lives!”

You roll your eyes at his melodramatics and can feel the tension in Sam’s abdominal muscles as he attempts to restrain his laughter. As if Dean had never taken a break during a case for a stress-relieving quickie before, or hadn’t been at least somewhat grateful to be left alone with a beautiful woman.

His next comment confirms your point, “Although, if I remember correctly that lady was a fox.” After a brief pondering pause and an introspectively appreciative smirk, Dean’s whining resumes, “But seriously! I can’t believe you two! Here I was feeling bad for forcing you to work and live together, hoping you’d eventually learn to get along when this whole time you were shacking up like animals and casually defiling my Baby just because what? Some girl touched Sam’s hand?!”

Feeling emboldened by the catharsis of this long-overdue airing of your dirty laundry, you decide to add to Dean’s exasperation, “Yeah and in the spirit of honesty, that might’ve happened more than once.” Sam tries to hold back his snort as he gives your hip a playful cautionary squeeze while Dean’s feet come to a full stop as he turns to give you a death glare. “Hey, it’s not my fault all the pretty girls like Samuel! And I’m pretty sure we wiped her down after.”

“I don’t even-“ Dean purses his lips and quirks his head with a dynamic expression of unbearable vexation, “You better be getting me pie every day of the week for what you did.“ He takes a deep breath before circling back, “Wait, OK so you’re telling me that a used condom ended up in our kitchen because- what? You two couldn’t keep it in your pants long enough to find a bed? You know what, forget I asked. I don’t wanna know. Did you at least sanitize the place after?? No, of course you didn’t, you left a fucking condom on the floor… I think I’m gonna throw up.”

But you hardly hear Dean’s rambling because you and Sam are far too wrapped up in each other, smiling as you recall the events of that morning.

Your eyes slowly drift open to find the most exalting sight in all the world: Sam Winchester’s sleeping face, blissful and serene. Lifting a hand to gingerly cup his cheek, the corners of your mouth curl up when he leans into your touch. It’s moments like this that make you wish you could wake up next to him every morning.

Only after you’ve traced his every feature and planted a soft kiss where his dimple would be if he were awake and smiling, do you carefully peel yourself from his side, slipping out of his hold as you quietly climb out of bed. Sam rolls over a bit and you freeze with bated breath, watching as his big arm extends out in your direction as if trying to reach for you in his sleep, before stilling again.

Mornings like this are rare and you want him to soak up all the restful sleep he can. Once you’re sure you haven’t woken him, you scan the room for something to cover your naked figure, until your eyes land on the flannel he’d worn the night before. Picking it up, you bring it to your nose and inhale deeply to revel in the residual scent of Sam. Another glimpse at his peaceful, sleeping form has you smiling fondly. God, you are such a goner for that man. It’s becoming hard to reserve your soft looks toward him for private moments alone.

You can barely remember how it happened, but over time, you’d come to learn that Sam is nothing like you originally imagined him to be. He’s kind-hearted and open-minded, the type of soul that can find hope and beauty in even the darkest of places, a far cry from the shallow macho man silhouette you’d expected him to fill. In fact, Sam routinely defies the expectations others have enforced upon him, proving his worth time and time again as he’s persisted through some of what must be the toughest challenges to ever face a single human. Yet through it all, his spirit remains intact, never once yielding to cynicism or resentment or apathy or even the building of walls as you and Dean have resorted to. He is truly the bravest man you know and infinitely more competent than your first fluke of a hunt with him had mistakenly suggested, both in the field and in bed.

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you wrap yourself in plaid and head out the door. Dean never questions your use of Sam’s shirts because ever since Sam firmly insisted on giving you his flannel after your second encounter with them resulted in Dean cutting your own top apart, you’ve grown into a habit of borrowing Sam’s clothes. You always claim they’re more comfortable than your own and Sam’s feigned annoyance over you ‘stealing’ his belongings tides Dean right over.

Half an hour passes before Sam approaches the bunker kitchen to find you with your back towards the entrance, busy prepping breakfast in nothing but his plaid. He pauses in the doorway to stare at you for a minute, licking his lips with an irrepressible smile. For some, this may seem like a stereotypical morning after, but for a couple of hunters, it feels like a dream come true.

After finally returning to the bunker last night following the completion of a series of successful hunts, you’ve got no solid obligations and very little on your to-do lists today, although Sam’s got more than a few ideas about how to pass the time, and a couple more come to mind when you stretch up on your toes to reach for something, causing the hem of his shirt to glide up until its corner reveals just slightest hint of your incredible ass. Sam can’t suppress his little grunt of approval, which catches your attention and makes you turn your head, peering back at him over your shoulder.

You smirk at the blessed view of him standing there in nothing but the pair of thin grey sweatpants you’d bought him a month ago when you discovered the viral online phenomenon, “Hey, big guy. You just gonna stand there and gawk or do you wanna make yourself useful and grab another plate from the top shelf?”

Chuckling at your false animosity, Sam stalks toward you, “Good morning to you too.” One of his vast hands falls upon your hip as he presses the maximum possible length of his body into your back side, while his other hand reaches up over your head to snatch the plate you’d asked for.

“Good morning indeed,” you concur with a silent gasp when you feel the generous bulge in his pants.

“Oh that’s not morning, baby girl,” Sam husks into your ear, “That’s all you.” His powerful arms slink around you and his lips find their way down the side of your neck, lingering in that tender spot just behind your ear whilst you tilt your head and close your eyes, contentedly surrendering yourself to the moment. “I ever tell you how good you look in my shirts?”

Wiggling your butt back to tease him a bit, you’re pleased with the hiss it elicits. “No, but you made it very clear how bad I look in Dean’s,” you counter playfully.

The man behind you scoffs, “I didn’t say you looked bad; you could never look bad. I just… don’t like seeing you wear his clothes.”

“Oh, I know,” you turn around in his arms, “I just don’t understand how Dean doesn’t know yet. I mean, I think you’ve been very obvious.”

“And you haven’t?”

“I’m not the one who leaves hickeys in very visible places all over your body!”

Sam’s eyes glaze over in lust, an idea clearly forming in his head as he glances down at you. “Dean’s a hot-blooded guy; he needs to know you’re off-limits,” he alleges before attacking your throat with his mouth.

“So why don’t we just tell him?”

Without pausing his efforts, Sam reminds you, “Because you said you thought it was kinda hot, all the sneaking around. Mmpf, and because you said you wanted to see how long it would take him to figure it out.”

You nod while running your fingers through his silken strands and leaning back to give him more purchase, “That’s true. But in my defence, we always have this conversation when we’re doing stuff like this and I can’t think straight when your hands and mouth are on me.”

“Kinda like how I can’t think straight when you’re wearing nothing but my shirt?” His kisses travel down from your neck to your collarbone and shoulder as he slides his loosely buttoned flannel off to one side, “Fuck, you’ve got me so hard.”

Without warning, Sam seizes your waist and hoists you into the air as if gravity were an absolute joke, before plopping you down on the edge of the steel counter, his thumbs digging lightly into your ribcage.

“Sam! This is where we eat!” you protest with a laugh.

“Exactly. Which is why I’m gonna devour you here.” He dives back into your neck, continuing his work on a little pink mark that’s already beginning to form.

“Oh fuck… Wait, what if Dean walks in?” It’s through a great struggle that you manage to push him back an inch.

“He’s got a date with the Impala. He’ll be in the garage all day, trust me.” Sam’s gaze sweeps over your body suggestively, “Now are you gonna let me taste what’s mine?”

With an equally lewd survey of his extensive frame, you reply, “As long as you let me impale myself on what’s mine later.”

His eyes darken and the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only person he’s ever wanted ignites a confidence within you, so in a rather swift motion, you grasp him by the shaft through his sweatpants – the delicious groan he emits at your touch is enough to turn your pussy into a slip and slide – and pull him back towards you until the clothed length of him is resting against your folds and your noses brush, while his hands settle naturally on your thighs.

Shivering, your breath stutters and for an instant you can do nothing but bask in the closeness of him. Sam seems to enjoy it too because he closes his eyes as he rests his forehead against yours with an elated sigh. For the second time today, you marvel at his beauty, whispering a string of gasping kisses along his lower eye socket and exquisite cheekbone, simply dying to breathe him in. All of him is so immaculate and sublime. Each time the two of you reconvene, you want to savor every fucking inch of him, but there are a lot of inches, so the task often overwhelms you. Still, you must try. Locking your ankles behind him, you use your legs to pull him even further into you and the friction makes you lose your mind.

“Fuck, baby girl, you keep that up I’ll be making a mess in my pants,” Sam grunts with his lips upon your cheek.

Your breathless laughter fills the air, thinking of the stain you've undoubtedly already left on his charming grey sweatpants. Nimble as he is, Sam takes advantage of your open mouth and plunges his tongue inside. After so much preamble, the kiss is heavy and full of need. When the pressure of his lips pushes your head back, your hands fly to his wrists for the sake of your balance.

From there, they journey upward across his vascular forearms to his bulging triceps, fondling his massive shoulders before sliding along his traps and up the gorgeous length of his perfect neck, until you finally reach the treasure trove of his impeccable locks. You tangle your fingers into the lush mane and yank, gently but zealously, making Sam growl into your mouth. His voice is the hottest thing you’ve ever heard and the sounds he makes always drive you insane.

Never breaking the kiss, Sam’s colossal moose paws roam up to your back as he slowly lays you down on the counter, his member somehow still notched at your entrance and the new angle rousing a quiet moan from you. When he ultimately pulls away, you pitch forward to chase after his lips, but Sam only grants you a devilish grin and a quick peck to the corner of your mouth before moving down to your jaw and neck. While one palm kneads at your breast through his shirt, the other begins pushing and pulling at fabric to uncover more of your skin for his wandering lips.

“Sam! Augh!” you cry out as your head falls back.

“I got you, baby. I’m all yours. Gonna make you feel so good.” As if to attest his words, he rolls his hips into yours and a needy whimper escapes you. With your fingers still twisted in his hair, Sam leaves no part of you untouched as his mouth travels down your body. But upon reaching your navel, he pauses, those vivid, color-changing eyes peeping up at you to check for any signs of discomfort or objection. Finding none, his thick tongue pokes out to lick a deliriously winding path from your belly button to your exposed clit. Then, pushing down tenderly on the insides of your knees to open you up to him, Sam directs you one last look that is both hungry and reverent, “I still can’t believe this is mine.”

Dean had stopped you halfway through your recollection, but it appears that was still too much for him, “What did I do to deserve this?! I feel like I need to go bathe in holy water for a week.”

You and Sam both open your mouths to respond but Dean cuts you off vehemently, “Ba-da-da-da!” His vocalized outcry is complete with animated gestures featuring an accusing index finger. “OK, before you two tell me another traumatizing story, that’s enough of the who, what, when, where, and how… I just need to know why. I mean, is this- are you- …?”

Sensing the protective wheels turning in his head, you decide to put Dean out his misery, “I’m not just with Sam because he’s an incredible lay if that’s what you’re wondering. We can skip the fatherly ‘what are your intentions’ talk. Yes, Dean, I am in love with your little brother… although ‘little’ is not exactly the word I’d use to describe him.”

“Sammy, could you please control your woman?”

“My woman?” Sam sounds mostly amused but you’re almost certain you can hear a hint of pride in his voice.

“Yeah, I admit I’m surprised I didn’t see it until now. You two are kinda oddly perfect for each other, you know, in a weird, kinky way.”

“To be honest, we’re pretty surprised too. I mean, he doesn’t look it but this guy is kind of territorial,” you quip whilst cocking a thumb in Sam’s direction.

“I don’t need to- Wait a minute, so all those bruises you told me were from hunts?” Dean’s eyebrows soar towards his hairline.

Chewing on your lip, you confirm his hypothesis with a miniscule nod.

“Yeah well that time you saw my back,” Sam chimes in vengefully, casting you a handsome grin full of mischief as he reveals, “that wasn’t a werewolf, that was Y/N.”

With eyes as round as dinner plates, Dean frantically shuts you both down, “OK, that’s it. Torture Dean time is over. I don’t wanna hear any more about your depraved sex lives! Look, I guess I’m happy for you guys, although mostly cause I don’t have to play referee anymore, but I’m gonna need you to follow some ground rules around here. Like rule number one! No sex in public places!” he starts counting with his fingers, “Always put a sock on it when you’re busy! And most importantly, no sex in Baby!”

Your laughter follows Dean as he wearily saunters out of the kitchen, an exhausted expression on his face. Turning to your newly outed boyfriend, you petition excitedly, “Does this mean we can have shower sex now?”

“Not while I’m around!” comes Dean’s snappy answer.

In contrast, Sam gives you the same look he did on that dreamy morning, “Oh trust me baby girl, I’m gonna get you wet somehow.”

“Still within hearing distance! I think I liked it better when you guys were at each other’s throats.”

As you’re giggling, Sam leans down to whisper in your ear, “For the record, I’m in love with you too.” And just like that, you’re tempted to re-enact your previous kitchen escapades.

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[city-witch-magix]

Celtic Deities

These are basic notes too look at as a beginning, there are only 10 deities from the website I used and I want to make sure my sources are good, so any feedback with corrections or additions you think I should add to it are greatly appreciated :) 

Brighid, Hearth Goddess of Ireland 

Daughter of Dagda 

One of the classic triple Goddesses of the celtic pantheon

Many Pagans honor her as a goddess of the hearth and home, divination and prophecy

Often associated with with Imbolc, fire, domesticity, and family life 

A patron of poets, bards, healers, and magicians. 

Items for honoring/Symbols: green cloth that is long enough to wrap around your shoulders (if you put it on your doorstep on the night of Imbolc she will bless it), Brighid’s cross, a Bride’s Bed

Cailleach, Ruler of Winter 

Known in parts as the hag, bringer of storms, the dark mother of the winter months

Features prominently in mythology as and is not just a destroyer but also a creator goddess

The name itself means “veiled one” or “old woman” 

In some stories she’d appear to the hero as an old woman and when they were kind to her, she’d turn into a young woman and reward him for his good deeds 

In other stories, she turns into a giant gray boulder at the end of winter and stays that way until Beltane when she comes back to life

Items for honoring/Symbols: wearing something blue, personal reserve, control, and truth with yourself, a yellow altar cloth in the morning for the sun and a blue candle in the center, a bowl of snow

Cernunnos, Wild God of the Forest 

The horned God found in many traditions of modern Paganism and Wicca

Symbolizes fertility and masculine energy 

Often celebrated around Beltane 

Associated with the forest, the greening of the earth, and wild stags

The god of vegetation and trees, a god of lust and fertility when connected Pan, the Greek satyr

In some traditions he is seen as a god of death and dying and takes time to comfort the dead by singing to them on their way to the spirit world 

Items for Honoring/Symbols: Take some wine, milk, or consecrated water in a chalice to the woods and pour it out while calling his name, decorate your altar with leaves, shed antlers, moss, fresh clean soil

Cerridwen, Keeper of the Cauldron

Known in Welsh mythology as the keeper of the Cauldron of the Underworld in which knowledge and inspiration is brewed 

Considered the Goddess of prophetic powers and bc her symbol is the cauldron she is an honored goddess in many Pagan and Wiccan traditions 

Her legend is heavy with transformation 

Change and rebirth and transformations are all under her control 

Items for honoring/Symbols: a cauldron, 

The Daga, Father God of Ireland 

Leader of the Tuatha de Danaan 

A god of fertility and knowledge 

Name means “the good god” 

Possess a mighty club and a magical cauldron that has an endless supply of food

Typically portrayed as a plump man with a large phallus, represented as a god of abundance (my guy was packin, they said it was so big it would have to be dragged on the ground)

Items for Honoring/Symbols: a club, cauldron with home-grown veggies or fresh baked good, ladle, oat bannocks, porridge, ale, butter, symbols of abundance and bounty

Herne, God of the Wild Hunt

A god of vegetation, vine, and the wild hunt in British lore

Celebrated in the autumn months, when the deer go into their rut

Seen as a god of the common folk and typically only recognized around the Windsor Forest area of Berkshire 

Was considered a divine hunter and was seen on his hunts with a great horn and a wooden bow riding a black horse with a pack of hounds

Mortals who got caught in his hunt would get taken and ride with him for eternity 

Seen as a harbinger of bad omen, especially to the royal family 

Items for Honoring/Symbols: call upon him when needed, might want to wokr with him when you need to right a wrong, cider, whiskey, or home brewed mead, a dish of prepared meat you hunted yourself, burn incense with dried leaves 

Lugh, Master of Skills

Honored for his skills and gifts as a craftsman 

God of blacksmiths, metal-workers, and artisans 

Honored on August 1st as a harvest god 

Associated with craftsmanship and skill (especially with creativity) 

Not specifically a god of war, but is a known as a skilled warrior 

Has amighty spear that is so bloodthirsty it’s tried to fight its own owner 

Items for Honoring/Symbols: something you made yourself

The Morrighan, Goddess of War and Sovereignty 

Associated with rightful kinship and the sovereignty of the land along with war

Often appears as a crow or raven or with a group of them 

In some areas she’s connected to fertility and land 

Items for Honoring/Symbols: 

Rhiannon, Horse Goddess of Wales

Plays a crucial role in the kinship of Wales 

Appears prominently in Welsh and Irish mythology

Items for Honoring/Symbols: horses, horseshoes, birds, the wind, the moon, on your altar have horse-related things (figures, etc), offerings of sweetgrass, hay, milk, or even music

Taliesin, Chief of the Bards

A documented historical figure but has managed to be elevated to a minor god

Known as the greatest poet of all time 

Items for Honoring/Symbols: 

Source: https://www.learnreligions.com/pagan-gods-and-goddesses-2561985  https://www.learnreligions.com/gods-of-the-celts-2561711  and any other links used for individual gods

[smilesrobotlover]

This is us sharing a braincell when we make Zelda aus. XD but it does mean more Blorbos!! It’s fun!! I adore Ammon and Abel and they should totally interact cuz that’d be so much fun

And indeed. Excuse my language but the best way to describe Edmund is a pompous and pretentious prick with a heart of gold. Like, he’s very blunt and rude and doesn’t hide his feelings, but that also means that when he’s genuinely worried, you’ll know it. And he probably went to therapy after becoming king of Hyrule cuz that was a very difficult transition for him

Basically he’s the youngest of 8 sons, and he was much smaller and more sickly as a child. His brothers were AGGRESSIVE and very toxic and made him insecure in his masculinity because he wasn’t as strong as them. He hung out with his mother a lot cuz he couldn’t go hunting and do the manly things his brothers did, and they made fun of him for being too “feminine” (I feel like Labrynna would be misogynistic in this time since I hc Ashei is from Labrynna and her comments lead me to believe that they’re pretty sexist), and so he grew to reeeally try to make up for it. But deep down he’s not like his brothers. As much as he tries to be like his father and brothers, he’ll always be his mother’s son.

Being the youngest, closest to Zelda’s age, and being the weaker brother, he was the perfect son to be married to Zelda. They don’t respect Hyrule since it’s… I don’t want to say matriarchy but it’s not sexist like Labrynna. So why not send the brother they don’t respect to the land they don’t respect and use the benefits that come with it. So that happened, and it was hard for both of them. Edmund respected Zelda to an extent when they were children, but she had her whole thing that kinda made things worse for him.

It’s already kinda mentioned in chapter 7 where he explains how he feels emasculated there, and how he feels like he feels more like an object to the kingdoms rather than a person. He’s just upset about it and Zelda almost dying finally got him to talk about it calmly like an adult rather than throwing a tantrum and petty insults.

Also he was a general (I think) but it was more focused on strategies and plans rather than fighting, which his brothers of course find silly. But he’s a lot wiser than people give him credit for. He’s just a jerk about it. You know those smart people that are so painfully arrogant? That’s him.

I love a complex character and I enjoy writing him a lot. As time goes on he really starts to distance himself from his family. His father is fine and ofc his mother is his bestie, but a lot of his brothers he’d rather avoid being around. Also he only has nephews, Amber is the first girl in the family. And while his brothers think that sucks cuz he doesn’t have a son, Edmund is actually super sweet with Amber and for the longest time was the sole caretaker since Zelda wouldn’t let him do anything else. Which ofc made things worse with his brothers. But most of his brothers suck and he really doesn’t want his sweet Amber to be around her cousins cuz they’re just too rowdy and he reeeeally doesn’t trust his brothers and older nephews. It’s a bit complicated but there is a time where he fully cuts some of his brothers out of his life. When he and Zelda grow closer and more understanding of each other, he finds himself wanting to focus on his new family now. He cares about his wife and his daughter, and he wants nothing to do with his brothers.

He’ll still visit his father and mother, and maybe some brothers that were actually kind to him, it he avoids his more aggressive brothers.

I hope that was comprehensible I feel like I repeated myself a lot XD but I think about him a lot and he’s my favorite idiot

Also here’s a drawing of when he and Zelda reeeally grow close (he beat up his brother for uuuuuh trying to get Zelda to cheat on him, which she refused obviously and he didn’t like that)

I love Zelpip sm. Pippin seems like a total sweetheart 🥺🥺

Also I love how we always have similar characters XD like Pippin and Edmund are very different but the vibes. Just like Ammon and Abel (except they’re like.. almost the same person cuz they’re the dad of botw link lmao)

But your pippin’s personality is drastically different from Edmund’s. Makes me wanna like, ramble about his backstory and personality XD

Aw, well thank you! He really is, I’m growing quite fond of him ☺️

HA we really do, we must share a brain cell or something 🤣 more blorbos to have fun with and talk about!! Ammon and Abel interacting will always be a thought that brings me joy ❤️

Yes, Edmund seems far more confident and blunt and perhaps even a little rude, but he also seems eager to try and help Zelda too, which I really love. It’s so nice seeing characters have actual personalities and flaws and redeeming qualities. Like, Edmund made me >:( sometimes while reading his dialogue and how it stressed or upset Zelda, but he also genuinely wants to help her share the load so she isn’t so overwhelmed. Like… ahhhh if only they just talked 🥺 (this sounds a lot like Power Link and Diplomat Zelda HAHAHA like their relationship is awful but it’s because they’re both stupid and messed up)

Tell me all about Edmund! :D