#and when he asked if i hated him i said Not Yet (lie) which is simply not a good response in this kind of situation
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geekforhorror · 2 days ago
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catharsis
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pairing: rots!anakin x fem!reader
warning(s): body image issues, fluff, praise, pet names (sweetheart, darling, etc), make out session
a/n: definitely not self indulgent and not written because i hate all of my physical features hahaha 🫠
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Anakin didn’t know what was going on with his girlfriend and it was starting to worry him profusely. They had been dating for 6 months now and they shared everything together. Both of them had seen the other at their lowest, comforted each other, and most importantly; loved each other. That’s why Anakin was concerned about her wellbeing.
It started off with the littlest things, just enough for him to notice. At times, she insisted on changing in the bathroom after finishing her shower, which made sense because it was an occurrence in the beginning of their relationship and he thought that maybe she wasn’t ready to change in front of him, which he totally understood. However, even six months in, she still had this habit and he noticed she had picked up several more. If her shirt rode up just the tiniest bit, she would immediately pull it down and pray that Anakin wouldn’t notice. Or the times when he placed his hands on her hips, her face was in a panicked sort of state and told him she wasn’t comfortable with it. It wasn’t a total lie, but just not for the reasons Anakin was expecting. They never even had sex because every time he lovingly slipped his hands beneath her shirt, she would always grab it and pull it away from her flesh, which he also understood. She hated keeping this a secret from the love of her life because she knew he would never keep a secret from her.
It’s not like she enjoyed constantly lying to him and his pretty face. She wanted to tell him what was bothering her more than anything, but she was ashamed of letting the words slip out, but she was mostly afraid of what he would think of her if she told him the truth.
But right now, she was sitting on his bed with him and watching a holodrama. She loved being in his quarters because it made her feel safe and cared for. She loved the personality of his room as well. While the flick was playing, Anakin placed his head on her shoulder and wrapped his right arm around her waist. Suddenly, her breath became hitched and her diaphragm tightened because of the contact. He noticed the signs all too well and he had to say something. Anything. Anything to help her. He paused the film and finally decided to speak.
“Baby what’s wrong?” he asks sounding concerned.
“It’s nothing,” she responded skeptically, but inside she was terrified. Terrified of the thought that he may have finally caught on.
“I love you sweetheart and you know you can tell me anything, right?” he assured her in a soothing voice. Tears were threatening to spill from her glossy eyes and she didn’t want Anakin seeing her like this. Like she was weak, fragile.
“Please don’t cry sweetheart. Tell me what’s bothering you. I won’t judge you,” he says softly as he runs his fingers through her hair.
“You’re going to think it’s stupid… that I’m stupid.” she sputtered.
“Nonsense. I would never and I mean, never think that about you because you’re anything but stupid,” he assures her. And he meant every word he said.
“How do you know that?!” she exclaimed.
“Because I love you more than anything. Do you honestly think I’d be here right now if I didn’t love you?”
The room suddenly became quiet yet the silence was so loud to the point where one of you want to break the silence, but didn’t know how to.
“I wanna help you baby. I really do,” Anakin said to his girlfriend.
She let out a rather shallow breath and Anakin noticed this too. It was time to tell him everything. To tell him what was making her so self conscious all the time. Maybe it would set her free.
“Alright Ani, but promise me you won’t think of me differently when I tell you,”
“I promise baby,” he said in the most soothing voice in order to calm her down.
“The reason why I’m distant sometimes has nothing to do with you. it has something to do with one of my biggest insecurities,“ she said. She could already feel her voice start to croak. Maybe she couldn’t go through with telling him this. It was too much for her alone, so how could she be sure Anakin would be fine with finding this out? She already began talking about it, so there was no going back now.
“I’m insecure about how I look…specifically my stomach,“ she lets out, tears spilling from her beautiful eyes.
“Your stomach sweetheart?” he asks.
“It’s so disgusting and it makes me feel disgusting,” she sobs.
He wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to comfort her, but she continues to cry into his shoulder. He didn’t know her body was the root of all of her self-esteem issues, but it hurt him to see her so hurt over this.
“It’s ok baby. I’ve got you.”
“That’s why I never let you see what I look like underneath all of my clothes. Because I’m afraid you won’t love me anymore,” she rambled in a shaky voice. He had never seen her like this and he never wanted to.
“I would never stop loving you, especially over looks” Anakin reassured. “I can’t imagine a pretty girl like you hating yourself over something like that,” he admitted truthfully.
“That’s because you haven’t seen my entire body yet.”
“I’m sorry sweetheart. I shouldn’t have said that to you.” he says in an attempt to apologize to his girlfriend.
“Are you mad at me?” she asks him, more tears pricking at her corneas.
“Of course not baby. I completely understand where you’re coming from. When I first got my prosthetic arm, I was so insecure but then you came along and made me more confident. I know it’s not the same thing, but I’m familiar with those emotions.”
“I’m sorry for all this,” she says apologetically, sniffling with a look of embarrassment on her face.
“You are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen sweetheart." he says before kissing her multiple times on the lips.
“You really mean it Ani?” she asked.
“Do you even have to ask? Look at yourself, sweetheart,” he says out of genuine love. She knew he wasn’t trying to just make her feel better but how did she? His eyes. His eyes were filled with the utmost love and adoration. For her. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen and nothing will ever change that,”
“I love you Ani,” she lets out.
“I love you too, sweetheart,” he says before kissing her on the cheek.
She needed that.
“Come here,” he says, motioning his hands in an attempt to get her to come closer.
She happily obliges and scoots closer to him on the bed. Anakin wraps his arm around her and rubs her back with his calloused fingers as she rests her head on his shoulder. It felt like the world had stopped and it was only the two of them together, side by side.
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readymades2002 · 2 years ago
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apparently i dislike one of my coworkers noticeably enough, despite not saying anything about it, that he took the liberty of catching me alone when i was putting on my high-visibility gear yesterday and asking me about it. which did not stop him from deliberately trying to rope me into a conversation when he got the chance later for reasons i can only assume were related to making me uncomfortable which congratulations! you succeeded
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essiemclaren · 5 months ago
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watch me win
in which lando was paid to fake date y/n!
pairing: mean!lando x reader
tw: cursing and rude behavior
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day 1
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lando's text with reader
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reader's post on twitter/x
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lando's text with reader
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lando's text with his friends
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He said yes to his friend Stroll’s offer, not because he needed the money. He was doing it for fun and because he was bored. The dare to date her for the whole month of August sounds like the perfect distraction. The challenge was simple: make her fall for him and then crush her heart on the last day. It was cruel, but that’s what made it exciting for him. Lando already had a list in his mind of all the dates they would go on, each carefully planned to make her fall deeper for him. He wasn’t playing the attentive boyfriend yet—no, he was testing the waters, seeing how easily she could be swayed. “Oh, I’m a very good listener,” he said in the middle of their conversation. In his mind, he added, “I’ll even keep notes of all your little secrets and insecurities.” Of course, he meant every word, but not in the way she thought.
After their first outing, he only knew the basics: her favorite color, the subjects she hated, and that she loved chocolate croissants. But even these small details were enough to start his list. “Eager to please,” he noted when she laughed too hard at his jokes. “Seeks approval,” he added after she asked him what he thought about her favorite book. It was almost too easy. Lando took pleasure in knowing that every sweet word he whispered to her was a lie, every smile a part of his act.
He watched her closely, mentally preparing for the deeper truths she would eventually reveal. Each fact she shared was a potential weapon in his arsenal. She had no idea that he was already plotting how to use her own words against her. The game had just begun, and she was already falling into his trap. She was just a pawn in his game, a temporary amusement to stave off his boredom. Lando couldn’t wait for the day when he would reveal the truth. He felt a twisted sense of satisfaction imagining her face crumpling in realization. This was going to be fun and he is determined to win.
day 2
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a/n: NOT THE UPDATE YOU WERE WAITING FOR IM SORRY 💔 but this has been sitting in my drafts for too long! to the anon who requested this, im sorry for delaying this PLEASE FORGIVE ME 😩🙏 but i hope i got your request right 🩷
i think im going to make this as a short series! let me know if you like this!!! 😩 ask for a tag 🫶
love from essie 🫂
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losersiren · 8 months ago
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𝒜 𝒥𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝒴𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝑒!𝐿𝑜𝓇𝒹
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”𝒶𝓈𝓀 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓁𝒹, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼'𝓁𝓁 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝑒𝓎𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒶𝓈 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈.” A continuation of my oc Ambrose, The lord N: Don't I have a gift for you, Anon! God, I had to rewrite this so many times, BUT I'M DONE!! Eat up! This is a long one! I had to watch so many gun videos (like two), which was unexpected... CW: Fem reader (she/her), acts and talks of violence (not towards the reader), implied murder, threats, guns, fluff (with the reader lol), mocking, power balance (?) Jealousy (or pettiness) Wc: 3.5k 
A shotgun sound echoes throughout the forest, followed by yet another dead Grey partridge and light crunches of leaves beneath stomping leather boots. 
“That bastard of a man! A prick! Son of a bitch! Son of an adventuress at that!” Ambrose stops in his tracks, reloading his sporting rifle with more gunpowder. Anger consumes his entire being. ”Did you hear what that bloody cocksucker Patrick said to her?” He hissed through his clenched teeth, grabbing the tiny 0.5 mm sphere lead bullet and layering it on top of some fabric. Shoving it inside the rifle barrel, “If what he said changed from the last few hundred times you’ve re-told the incident, then I have no utter clue.”  The younger male rolls his eyes, picking up the tenth bird Ambrose has slaughtered this afternoon. He ignores his younger cousin’s sarcastic quip and continues. “ ‘If you wish for a lovely evening, do not be a stranger; send me a letter, and I'll be by your side.’ I should’ve darkened his daylights when those vile words left his devil mouth.” He fixes his gun upright, pushing the first trigger, waiting for another prey to be a victim of his wrath. 
“Is she spoken for? Have you outwardly said you intend to court her?” His cousin questions, and Ambrose, in retaliation to his younger relative’s question….blushes like a young girl. Clenching his jaw, he answers, “No,” “Are you mad?!?” “I’ve attempted…but my nervousness has sabotaged me alas.” Astonished, his cousin continues, “Then you have no right to be jealous of her, you fool.” 
Bushes start rustling. Ambrose aims and squints instantly, with a pointer finger on the second trigger. A small grey rabbit appears, and immediately, it's killed straight through its skull; a soft smile appears on Ambrose’s face. “For her, I'll be whatever is needed.” 
“You are not sane.”
“Don’t be rude, Finch. This is love in its purest form. One day, you’ll understand.” The older male shrugs his shoulders.
“Now,” Ambrose reloads his gun, repeating his past actions, but this time, he looks straight into the other male’s eyes. “What do you know about Patrick Barton?” “I do not-” Ambrose cuts him off. “ Do not lie to me, young Finch…” His voice becomes lower, mocking, his aura more sinister. “You frequent more gentleman clubs than I; lord knows I hate the people and atmosphere of said clubs– Your mother grumbles enough to mine about the subject.” In goes the gunpowder: “You surround yourself with such…’ vast’ personalities from the elites to the ladies of the night.” The grey-eyed man reaches into his waistcoat for a lead bullet. “Yet you tell me– you don’t know about a mere Lord.” He scoffs.
Finch watches his older cousin's actions. Of course, he only asked to spend time with him for information regarding the apple of his eye’s new ‘suitor.’ The young man knows his current situation, the number of Grey partridge carcasses he holds because of Ambrose, and how far deep he’s in the forest, alone with his turbulent cousin. This was a warning, a show of sorts, that he could join these insignificant birds. He tries to swallow the heavy lump stuck in his throat. Ambrose was always the odd man; his smile never reached his eyes, his charm as real as a disloyal man’s ‘ I love you.’ His older cousin wasn’t above putting his hands on his own blood to get what he wanted– Ambrose’s father’s scar is evidence enough. 
“He partakes in Hell’s, frequents them more than gentleman’s clubs, a gambler of sorts. Loves it! He brags about the thrills of it and his winnings. Folks whisper that he’s a dishonourable shark. But it's not just hell establishments he attends; If there's someplace to gamble away his earnings, he's there,” Finch sputters his confession. 
“And Mills? Does he attend those as well?” “Yes,” The younger lad answers his senior instantly.
Ambrose just hums in return.
Just finishing his task, he aims for his cousin; he wears an inexpressive face, his grey eyes darkened and vacant, with no light, no soul.
“Wait, wait! I told you what you wanted!” Finch pleas. He could run, but in retrospect, how far can he go? Ambrose has a fucking rifle. He’s a good shot, no, an excellent shot. Hell! It’s borderline impossible how he always hits his targets, especially with how hard it is to aim for those things. Finch is panicking; his cousin has already pushed the first trigger. The nervous lad just accepts it; what else could he do? He closes his eyes, expecting his death to come quickly, then he hears a gunshot…
And he's fine…? Another Grey partridge falls from the sky right before him, its dead eye looking at the twenty-year-old.
Ambrose’s gun aims towards the sky. He lowers it. Then he casually approaches the stunned male, who lets out a staggered sigh, relieved he escaped death by a hair. Ambrose looks down at Finch, grabbing his shoulder and leaning in close. “Don’t ever fucking lie to me ever again, especially when the topic concerns my love.” Finch nods rapidly, shaking like a leaf. “Of course, sir, sorry.” Then, the older male releases his shoulders. “Good. Gift those birds to a peasant; perhaps they’ll make dinner with it, oh, and the rabbit, too. Say I have decided to help my community or something along those lines.” He looks at the sky. “I have a woman blessed by aphrodite to court.” His smile is bright, contrasting how he was a mere few seconds ago. He pats his younger cousin’s back and leaves the forest– The lifeless Grey partridge stares back at Finch, and he stares back.
Social calls…How dreadful. Worse is conversing with Lord Barton. He’s a bore, vulgar, and has an underlying inconsiderate, bitter personality. Having your mother as a chaperone does not make the situation any more bearable. 
 “Have you ever pondered about the future?” he inquires.
What kind of wet rag question is that? 
You put on a gentle smile. “Of course I have. Since I was a chit, I would read the local papers with my father-” He cuts you off “Children.” You look at him in confusion. “Pardon?”
The gentleman looks at you like you’re the biggest dunce in the country. “Children, how many children do you wish for? It would be sensible for us to have eight or ten,” “Hah…well…” you lift the tea cup to your mouth.
The man has no decorum…
After that fiasco, you decided to take a stroll downtown, and perhaps you’ll get a book from the local store, some new fabrics from a linen draper, or even some oils. Your pin money given to you by your parents could only cover one item... what a conundrum….
“Do tell me why the viscount’s only daughter is doing without a chaperone?” He leans against the brick wall, arms crossed, his smile beaming.
“Lord Howard, have you dropped your hunting hobby in exchange for stalking?” He chuckles. “Witty as always, but dare I disappoint? I was just strolling about my day and coincidentally saw you– Perhaps fate has decided for us to meet?” He pushes himself off the wall and offers his arm. Was it coincidence or fate…? No, it was none; it was all Ambrose, him asking your fellow lady peers about your whereabouts. Then, wandering near whatever local shops would possibly pique your interest. Memories play in his head, such as when you both were young and would rendezvous at the local forest. You would acquire many hobbies when you were younger– your mother said you would have a higher chance of obtaining a suitor with diverse skills. He would remember them and watch you in amazement when you talked about them. 
You made him feel human. You made him feel alive. His father was never a loving one; he gained the son he wanted, and his heir then wanted nothing more to do with him. The only attention Ambrose earned from The Earl was if he needed reprimanding. Every laugh that was too loud, every fork that he unitized improperly, every action, small or big, was scrutinized. His mother was a vacant husk of a woman at home and a social butterfly in the public eye; she watered herself down to being a wife and a mother. She was neither. He detested both of them and hated that damned empty feeling of his soul and heart that matched his vacated house; he felt nothing. His world was as grey as his eyes.
Till he met the colourful Viscount’s daughter– If he got kicked by a horse and lost his memory, he would still somehow remember the day you two met—the memory ingrained in his bones, body, and soul. On the way to your estate, the stately carriage was soundless and suffocating, as if the air was thick. Ambrose remembers how he bore his eyes into his obsidian-polished boots, wishing for the minutes to pass faster.  
You were a naive hoyden the first time you introduced yourself; you forgot to say his title and yours. Using his common name and giving him an oh-so-sweet genuine smile, he hadn’t ever seen such an authentic smile for him and only him—not for his parents nor his riches. Just him. Your parents scolded you while apologizing profusely for your ‘disrespect.’ Before his parents could utter something backhanded yet elegant, Ambrose smiled. He didn’t know he could do that. For the first time, the young boy speaks up; he feels this protectiveness over you. But, at the moment, Ambrose couldn't care less about his father's punishment that would soon come; the only thing that mattered was you, and soon he’d found out that it would always be you.
An airy laugh escapes you. “Do you wish for us to be caught in a scandal every time we meet?” He raises a faux, worried face and voice. “Me?!? As a future Earl, I am fulfilling my gentlemanly duties by escorting a fine young lady and keeping her from potential dangers. What’s so scandalous about that?” You take his arm. “You’re far from sane, My Lord.”
“For you, My lady? I hope so,” He says proudly with his chest out.
A comfortable silence lulls you as you look at how the sun hits the trees, people, and him. The sun's rays lighten his dark brown hair, blessing it with an orange hue and grey eyes, becoming Iridescent, more akin to a pearl.
“The latest on dit says Lord Barton has called for your company?” He inquires 
Your face grimaces at just the sound of his name. As much as you loathe the man, he is a viable suitor with good money and an excellent reputation, but a suitable suitor does not equate to a good man. “He’s…an interesting individual…” His jaw clenches. You’re not being open as he wants; you’re holding back…he hates that you might be hiding something. Not you per se but that damned rake Patrick. “He’s a rake,” he spits out, and you gaze at him. He’s uncharacteristically serious.
You smile. “He is,” Ambrose turns his head to you, returning your smile.
“Quite the feat to dissect the woman you are trying to woo as well.” The gentleman’s eyebrows furrow. “He did not,” you huff. “Oh, he did!” Ambrose stops in his tracks and mummers your name softly. “If you would only permit it, Allow me to court you,” You raise an eyebrow at the sudden question, “Pardon?” He continues, “That bastard doesn’t deserve you.” “And you do?” he chuckles. “No, but I’ll do everything you ask me to, then maybe one day I'll deserve you; you wish for dresses? I'll buy you the tailor and store. Money is far from an issue. Heavens, ask for the world, and I'll give you it with the stars and beyond as accessories.” He turns his whole body to you, his hands finding yours, his leather gloves causing a barrier between your soft ones.
He hates that 
“Ambrose…” 
“Please…only if you’ll allow me.”  The love-sick man entreated “But what about the other more suitable ladies? I’ve heard-” “I do not care for them,” He interrupts you. “Every second I was apart, I only longed for you. The only reason I kept my studies up was to be the perfect suitor equal to you.” He caresses your knuckles. The butterflies in your stomach flutter more after each word spills out of his mouth. Your relationship with Ambrose was vague at most. You couldn’t put your finger on it; every time you were in his presence, you had this comfort no one else could recreate. You were hesitant to put a label onto it, and maybe you feel this way because he was the only man you truly felt you could be yourself with. 
“If you wish to court me, you must’ve thought to ask my father for permission rather than myself.” 
“I could’ve,” He pauses, “But I'd rather ask you first; I need your permission. I am not marrying your father, am I? I need to hear you wish for me as much as I yearn for you,”  
You amuse the thought. Ambrose is a prick at times, his teasing relentless, but despite that, he’s charming, sincere, soothing, and protective. He’s a good man, indeed. 
“I’ll bite, My lord.” “Please do.” He smirked, masking his nervousness.
You slap his hand lightly, reprimanding him, “Let me continue, you brute…I’ll allow you to court me.” “Truly?” he exclaims, Astonished. “Truly,” You nod meekly. In a haste, he kisses your bare hands, each knuckle, each finger. “I’ve been blessed indeed,” his voice is as blissful as a child receiving a sugary dessert. You yank your hands away from him, flushed from his actions. “You dog, we are in the public,” you scold him. “I shall make it up to you in our next outing; I vow,” You swear you could see a wagging tale behind him. You sigh. 
The day went on, and by sundown, Ambrose had hired a post-chaise for the both of you despite your protests of you living just around the corner. He claimed he had ‘Earl-like duties to attend to’ and you were just on the route back either way. As a gentleman should, he dropped you off promptly; as he left in the carriage, away from your estate, you softly ran your fingers over your knuckles. A smile adorns your face. “What an oaf,” you whisper to yourself. A fond grin decorates Ambrose’s face, a few giggles even, but as euphoric this day was, he did have business to attend to. A certain lord has decided to make his lacklustre presence known, and Ambrose couldn’t celebrate until he exterminated said pest.
Gentleman’s clubs were boisterous, loud, and untrustworthy. The men here are just as vile as the feed that is fed to pigs. The soon-to-be-Earl disliked them and only engaged in them because he needed to build his reputation. He may be judgemental, but he isn’t an idiot. Others may regard him as a friend, but for him, he could care less for it. The males around him start to recognize Ambrose, yelling pleasantries, which he would return and shut down politely or…as politely as he could in his eyes. A booming voice reverberates against the wall of the finely furnished building, only belonging to the one and only Patrick Barton. Unconsciously, a scowl appears on the young man’s face. Ambrose knew more than he led on about Patrick; he heard whispers of Barton’s hobby in the mills, rigging the boxing matches that were bid on by elites and peasants alike. Word says he would pay one of the desperate participants to lose on purpose– word is bound to escape one day or another. It is not a sustainable income source. Yet another reason Lord Barton is not fit for you.
Ambrose walks towards the table where the bastard sits, narrowing his eyes.
Lord Barton and his goons recognize the lord approaching them. Barton speaks first: “Lord Howard! Is it a blue moon? What on earth might’ve convinced you to come out of that dreadful estate?” He laughs, arranging some snuff onto the mahogany to snort. “Perhaps it’s because you plan on courting his woman.” a nameless male inquires. “No, could it be? I don’t blame you, Ambrose; she is a fine woman, isn’t she? She is just in need of training,” another male said, joining in. “So does every woman in this country.” Another chuckle escapes the vulgar lord. 
Ambrose’s leather gloves wrinkle. His fist clenched to prevent him from beating the man in front of him into a pummel. He has a plan, the grey-eyed man repeats in his head. Then he forces a smile on his face. “On the contrary, I've decided to pick up a new gambling hobby; why not ask the man of the hour himself for advice? Or even a game or two.” Ambrose signals a servant and orders drinks for the table. The man in question gets up, slapping Ambrose on his back. “Atta boy, never let a woman come between men; let bygones be bygones, what a joyance plan! Come, come.” The night continues, and Patrick is as drunk as the rest of the men in the club; Ambrose, the gentleman he is, offers him to join his carriage in his words. 'Let’s start this newfound friendship off with a bang.' Cold water hits the once-drunken lord, and he awakens, gasping for air on the cold textured ground. ‘Where am I?’ he thinks, discombobulated, looking around and grasping his situation. The dark forest surrounds him, almost engulfing him; the trees blow along with the wind, and the creatures of the night rustle in the background. A voice comes from the shadows, luring him away from his racing thoughts, “Gunpowder is such a messy substance, but did you know a man invented a gun powered by air? What a time to be alive! How revolutionary!” Patrick looks at the man, most of his body consumed by the darkness of nightfall, the moon only making his grey eyes visible. 
“Ambrose, what the utter fuck-” “Don’t interrupt.” He says sternly. “As I was saying, a gun powered by air,” He continues. “A watchmaker of all things invented it; how preposterous! He eliminated gunpowder entirely and named this new gun  Windbüchse or, I know you only know English, so pardon me, I'll translate, wind gun.”  
“It’s far better than my hunting rifle; the tedious thing is quite a hassle to reload. But this wind gun can load much faster, 20 rounds a minute! Compared to the other, it is much quieter. It's a shame its range is far smaller.” The man standing pouts. “But all is well. The Austrian army decided to order thousands of supplies, and it’s fortunate I even got my hands on one.” Patrick squints, trying to distinguish Ambrose, and it finally sets in. In a forest he doesn’t know of, with a man who has a gun in his hand in the dead of night. Not just any man but a Lord known for his physical fitness and hunting expertise since he was a just a lad. 
Fuck
“If this is about your lady, Ambrose, you can have her! There’s no need to do this!” Patrick tries to reason with the love-sick lord, yet it's no use. The other man scoffs, “I’ve always detested men like you, greedy, hypocritical. Ready to jump boat when things get too tough for your liking– where is your backbone? Where is your spine? Your pride?” Ambrose circles the pain-filled man on the ground. “You never deserved to even be in her presence; you aren’t even entitled to breathe the same air as her,” He then spontaneously kicks Patrick's ribs, causing him to curl up on a ball, yelping. Ambrose looks down at the pathetic man. “But, I am a fair man, unlike you, so I'll give you a chance to run while I read you the note I have written in your writing announcing your hasty departure after news of your rigging in the mills comes to light, your writing was not hard to duplicate as well; who knew mother’s penmanship lessons would come in handy,” He chuckles.
 “Now run, monkey, while you still can.” He sets the trigger and then turns the spindle of his gun clockwise till a clicking sound can be heard, indicating he doesn’t need to turn it anymore. Ambrose opens the barrel, puts in an 8.5 mm bullet, and then shuts it. 
“I’m sure we can talk this out reasonably, money! I have money! Have it all; buy your woman something nice-” Patrick feels his thigh get warmer at first rather than the pulsing pain of a bullet shooting through his thigh that would soon follow shortly after. He screams.“To think you have the naivety to think I couldn’t fund my lover for generations on end,”
Ambrose rolls his eyes. “Scream louder; perhaps you’ll awaken a bear to save you,” yet again, he starts reloading his wind gun, faster at that, “I am not one to repeat himself nor give mercy. Run, rabbit.”
With adrenaline coursing through his body, Patrick runs…or well, attempts to. 
 Ambrose reaches into his waistcoat for the forged letter, clearing his voice to read it while his other hand holds his gun. Though his attention should be on the task at hand, he is utterly distracted by possible outing plans you would adore. Shall he go canoeing with you? Or a picnic? A carriage ride underneath the newly blooming cherry blossoms? Why not all three?  
Oh. how he longs to see you again.
Notes: I'm gonna be so honest, romance is the hardest thing to write for me. It's probably noticeable, forgive me (⇀‸↼‶) I had to do some research for this one, but it was a fun process learning more about Regency lingo and gun history. For my next full fic. I was thinking of a yandere! Cannibalistic 50's housewife, but idk….hehe…if you have any ideas send them to my inbox!! I'd like to say again THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!!! Reading all your kind words makes my little shy heart soar (o^ ^o) see you soon, my little guppies!! 
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crescenthistory · 1 month ago
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Can you do like, an animagus!reader x regulus were reader is like, kinda sick and ill and all the time she sneezes, she turns into her animagus form????? I BEG YOUUU It would be so perfect. I love your writing and only do if you are comfortable with it. THANK YOUUU (english is not my first lenguage, so sorry about the mistekess)
this was a lovely sweetheart idea, thank you<3 big hugs!
Words: 1.8k
Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, common cold, reader is a bit miserable, whipped!regulus, bsf!remus who feels somewhat guilty
Note: this is of course the same cat!animagus!reader that we have followed for a while
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"For all the possible cons I went over before deciding to become an animagus," you drawled haughtily. "This was not something I thought to fear."
Regulus camouflaged his laughter with a soft cooing sound, petting your hair from where you were laid on his chest in your dorm room. The position could not be comfortable for you, you were practically laying on your back, with your head angled to the side to be on top of him, but it was how it had to be right now. That was to account for two things: your difficulty breathing through your cold, and the fact that you at any point could shift into your cat form, Whiskers.
"To be fair, I don't think this would be warned about in any literature." Regulus defended your past self's decision.
"You can be damn sure it wasn't." Your words would be more menacing if it wasn't for the high-pitched croak in your voice.
You had been sick before, many a time actually, including after becoming an animagus three years ago. Yet, this bout of seasonal cold for you seemed to be more sneeze-heavy than ever before, and you developed an awful side-effect to it.
For whatever reason, each time you sneezed, your startled body took it as a signal to shift you into your animagus form. Effectively draining your already limited energy and annoying you to no end. You hated it. Regulus put on his best frown in solidarity -- but would be lying if he said he didn't find the ordeal somewhat endearing. Even more so when you huffed yourself hoarse from irritation.
Considering that your illegal animagus status was not something you should be advertising, you and Regulus huddled into your dorm together to ride it out. Which, he noted, probably was good for you anyway, so that you could get better faster.
You had not appreciated it when he pointed it out to you.
"Just a bit more, amour, and then you'll be back to normal," Regulus said, hoping his tone was reassuring despite the slight laugh behind it.
"Easy for you to say," you grumbled, but, to his great pleasure, you burrowed your nose further into his chest.
“Just because I am able to see the humour in this situation already does not mean your ailment is not wounding me.” He was aware he was laying it on a bit thick, even more so when he kissed the crown of your head, but it might just be needed. Before you could have a chance to quip back and irritate your sore throat further, he asked, “Do you want anything, hm? More tea or healing potion?”
You seemed to think about it longer than usual, and he was unsure whether it was due to your feverish sluggishness, or a reluctance to answer. When you concluded with a weak, “No, I don’t think so, lovely,” followed by a rough cough, he decided on the latter.
“You shouldn’t lie to your carer, love,” he chided gently.
You tilted your head upwards so that he could see you were narrowing your eyes at him. Even your glare had lost its bite when your eyes were this foggy. “Y’re not my carer, Reggie. Don’t be dramatic.”
“Sorry, amour, you know it’s a genetic condition.” He preened at the sound of your weak laughter and then immediately switched up when he saw your subsequent frown. “Are you sure you don’t want any more tea? Honey?”
“No need to call me honey,” you tried to joke. He was momentarily ashamed of you, and waited for you to answer his actual question. “I do want more tea,” you eventually relented. “But I don’t want you to get it for me.”
His heart took on a softness he had not known it capable of prior to you, one that still somewhat unsettled him. “I want to help you,” he murmured into your hair.
“That’s not it. I just… I don’t want you to go.” Even as you said it, you hugged him closer.
He tilted his head at you in confusion. “I won’t be long.”
“That’s not it,” you whined into him. “I don’t like turning into,” – cough break – “, I don’t like turning without warning like that. Don’t wanna do it alone.”
Regulus thought he might break his ribs from how violently his heart doubled in size. “Oh, lovely girl.” He pressed one, two, three kisses to your head. “We’ll find a work around, okay?”
Without waiting for a response, he grabbed his wand from your bedside table and quietly accio’d some pen and paper to hover in the air before him. It took little to no effort for him to get the pen to write a short message on the piece of paper and have it be folded over into a small faux aeroplane, but the way you looked at him in awe, one would have thought he completed some impressive curse break. 
“Are you not a witch?” he asked, small tug on the corner of his lips as he watched the aeroplane fly out through the crack in the door. "Is this impressive to you?"
“Rude.” You didn’t need him to explain his jab at your fascination with his magic. “You know I love watching you.”
He just hummed into you, pulling you closer by the waist. “I’ve alerted Remus; I know he gets your tea right every time.”
You opened your mouth to speak, likely to coo at Regulus for growing soft, but then you stopped halfway through. The tension in your shoulders alerted him to what was about to happen and the sigh he breathed could almost be classified as a snort. Enough for you to throw him one last glare while in the middle of the ah-ah-ah part of your sneeze before finally atchoo your way through it.
Regulus imagined a plop sound as the girl laying half on top of him within a second shrunk and grew white-and-grey fur, landing comfortably in the middle of his chest. Whiskers made a soft hissing sound at no one in particular before letting your head drop with a sad thump.
“Oh my sweet girl,” Regulus murmured as he brought one hand up to rest on your middle as a form of weighted blanket – you said it helped last time – and the other to scratch lovingly at your head.
You did not bother turning back to your human form, instead letting the sneeze cycle decide which form you remain in to save on some energy. Regulus had a theory that you heal quicker as a cat anyway, so he figured it didn’t hurt to leave you to it.
The biggest downside of being Whiskers with your cold is that purring hurt your scratchy throat even further – an instinct that was hard to fight as a feline, especially when Regulus gave you scratches in all the right places (he would know). Perhaps he should be kind and leave you be.
You both knew that wouldn’t happen.
There were three soft raps to your dorm room, causing both of your heads to snap up towards it as Remus carefully stepped through it with a rueful smile. “Are we alive in here?” he asked teasingly, smile spreading once he saw your form curled up on Regulus. “Oh, hi Whiskers.”
“Still switching back and forth,” Regulus explained. A fairly obvious statement, but he had learned to never underestimate how much explanation your little friend group needs, though Lupin was the better of the bunch.
“I see that,” Remus cooed, reaching out to pet over your nose carefully with his index finger. “How are we planning on drinking this tea then, kitten?”
You pretended to bite at his finger, either for his comment or his use of the term kitten. Regulus would support you in it.
“She’ll be forced back into human form anytime now,” he began to explain, at the same time as you took a deep breath in and tensed. His eyes moved immediately from the Gryffindor boy to land on you. 
Remus had the wits to step backwards with the tea just before you let out another loud sneeze, distinctively feline-like. Just like that Regulus had his regular girlfriend back in his arms.
You immediately rolled off him to the side and groaned loudly and oh so hoarsely. “I hate everything.”
“Sorry ‘bout that lovely,” Remus said somewhat guilty as he came back to the bedside, sitting down beside you to hand you your tea, which you accepted shakily. 
You furrowed your brows at him. “What are you sorry for?” you said with poorly hidden accusation, having sniffed out Remus’ poor self image before he could explain himself. When he just shrugged you waved a trembling finger in his face. “No such apologies will be allowed around here, Mr. Blame Himself. I believe the phrase for my actions is that I fucked around and found out.”
Regulus was not proud when the snort he let out was almost identical to Remus’.
“Yeah, you’re a good friend, even if you’re not always the brightest,” Remus teased as he got up, easily dodging your weak swat.
You were about to reply when you suddenly thrust your tea cup into Regulus’ unexpecting arms, spilling some onto your sleeve in the process. Barely a second later, you sneezed yourself into a cat again.
This time your hiss was much more prominent and prompted a second sneeze that brought you right back to yourself, falling back onto the bed with a deep sigh.
“Feel better, both of you,” Remus said through a soft smile before stepping out and leaving you both to it.
“Oh, amour,” Regulus whispered before pressing a quick kiss to the side of your head. “Okay, drink this and then we’ll try something else.”
Too tired to give him any semblance of a sassy remark or even question his ideas, you quickly gulped down the tea, closing your eyes at the sensation. Regulus could not fight the urge to close the small distance and press a butterfly-light kiss to your eyelid.
He took the cup from you, empty apart from the slight tea dust on the bottom, sitting it on the bedside table. Wordlessly, he helped guide you into a lying position, head propped up by several pillows.
“This might help lessen the sneezes or better yet help you fall asleep,” he murmured as he arranged everything so it would be neatly ready. “If not, it will at the very least be nice.”
With a final peck to your lips and a sneaky smile, Regulus turned into his own animagus form, Shadow, and climbed carefully on top of your chest. There, he curled up so that he was perfectly positioned over the top of your chest, one paw laying protectively over your heart.
You sighed, absentmindedly scratching his head with the tips of your fingers. 
Regulus deemed his mission successful when your breaths started evening out. And, looking up at you and your pouty lips and perfect nose, he deemed that his life was quite nice as well.
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biteyoubiteme · 1 month ago
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cat got your tongue?
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yeonjun x fem!reader
synopsis: you and yeonjun are both models.
warnings: 🔞!!! spit kink if you squint, no protection, creampie, dom!yeonjun, manhandling, bondage (uses his tie on readers wrists), fingering, oral (f!rec),mentions of cum eating prob forgot some sorry
wc: 2.7k me when I lie and say these will all be 1-2k
an: I do not think this is my best work I think I just struggle with dom!member and I apologize lol this wasnt really requested but was taken as such ily @apeachty this was sent before the event post but on the same day so im adding it to the tag anyways lol this is not proof read forgive me sweet angels ill fall on my sword for you.
[m.list] [1kevent m.list]
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You would have to spend over a month traveling together. Over a month of back and forth, car rides, flights, hotel rooms, runways, and photo shoots all while trying to deny dating rumors. The contract was easy enough, but the money earned was less impressive than the exposer. To be the face of a company for an entire season, tied to one of the biggest names in modeling history, not only the fashion house but the model himself who set trends and made people famous for one little interaction. It was a brand deal people dreamed of. 
The pen cleared the signature box faster than you ever thought you could sign your name. But then the nerves set in. It wasn't over doing your job, modeling, although hard, was now second nature. You worked well with almost every photographer you came across, following instructions without a fret, even when it came to runway you knew your walk was one companies begged to have on their sets. 
But it was him that left you questioning your abilities. He had been the only clause in the contract that made you second guess yourself. Yeonjun was well known not only in the modeling community itself but globally. His face was splashed across countless brands, ads, and billboards. You couldn't go a day without seeing him at least once on your timeline. Even at the grocery store, in line at the checkout, he looked back at you with his perfect pouty lips from the front of a magazine you could only dream of being on the cover of as often as he was. 
“You were specifically asked for,” your agent reminded you after you brought up the status difference. It wasn't as if you were not known, companies wanted you well enough that you wouldn't need the check from this single one month booking. It was the caliber at which he was held. “They want you and I wouldn't be the one to turn them away when this much press will be on you. Imagine the number of people calling to get one shoot in with you, he brings eyes,” 
It wasn't until your first photoshoot that you realized that he would be more of a pain in your ass than an inspiration. He was never mean, you would have to give him that. But it was his overwhelming kindness mixed with the teasing tone he always used on you that somehow pushed your buttons just right. It didn't help that the first time that you walked into the studio you were so shy, little smiles shared with your hands folded in front of you trying to wring out your anxiety. Yeonjun wasn't even on set yet, having shown up a few minutes later with his arms full of coffee, passing them out to each staff member, knowing them all by name. “It's nice to meet you finally. I didn't know what you would like but this is what I picked out for the little mouse,” 
“Little mouse?” it was the first thing you said to him, your head tilted just enough for him to take in the question and know the slip up of a nickname was going to stick especially when you couldn't get through the photoshoot without an apology. Shoulders stiff with his eyes on you, your nerves making you angry instead of anxious and it all had to do with the little grin set at the edge of yeonjun mouth. “I'll just step out,” and you hated how improved your film was from his absence, your heart calming down its rapt beading. 
Of course you got over it eventually, or at least the stiffness. You couldn't afford to be stiff when standing next to yeonjun who was naturally relaxed about everything. He would slink to his spot on set, lay his lazy gaze in your direction, and get all of his shots in the minimal amount of frames as if he was born to be in front of the camera. It was annoying. 
The two of you would be set up next to each other in hair and makeup, your bottom lip is finely brushed with the end of a glosses wand when he would lean on the back of your chair. His hands were always just hovering over your shoulders, never quite touching but enough to feel the heat from his palms, his head leaning next to yours looking back at you in the mirror, “You guys did such a good job, don't we just look like the perfect pair?” he would quirk an eyebrow at you, the two of you staring each other down while the staff agreed, but he was always waiting for your answer, “don't we little mouse?” 
“If you think so,” your response always made him chuckle as if you didn't see the way the media was talking about your contract together, as if you didn't feel the chemistry between the two of you. People were still talking about your first runway together, the closing of the show for one of the best collections put on display that week. 
The lead up was so chaotic, with dressing rooms stacked full of models and assistants, the floor a mess of people undressing and trying to make their quick changes as fast as they could before their names were called. Even yeonjun could feel the pressure in the room, the two of you in your designated corner stripping down back to back. 
The crowded space made everyone bump into each other. For the smallest second you were caught by the sight of him taking his shirt off, pulling it at the back of his collar showing the way his jeans hung so low on his hips that his happy trail was on display. You had turned, taking off your shirt, shoulder knocked by someone coming to do your hair, it made you stumble back into yeonjun, his hand right at the small of your back holding you upright as you fumbled with the zipper on your pants. “Careful,” he muttered, your heart in your ears as you kicked your shoes away from your space. 
The two of you were used to seeing each other in different versions of undress after all the photoshoots shared together. Comfortable enough now to be somewhat friends after all the car rides, the few interviews, and hours spent on a set together. It's what you accounted for as your key element to having such a good walk together on the runway. Every step matched, the energy vibrating off the two of you as if you had been a duo your whole life instead of just having been paired together less than a month ago. 
Even at the afterparty people swarmed you two, asking about your relationship as if they could sense the livewire of that conversation hanging around your heads. It was the first time you had ever seen him flustered enough to stutter over an answer. “I um- you never know,” 
The paparazzi loved the two of you, the crowd outside any event was packed full of them, their cameras following you around the city. The two of you always shared a car to your hotels, yeonjuns hand warm in yours leading you through the flash of every blinding light while you tried to shield your eyes. He would pull you in front of him when you finally reached the waiting car door, hand on your back gilding you in before climbing in after. 
Even shutting the door behind the two of you only muffled the sounds of their questions to a faint murmur. It isn't until the car pulls away from the venue that yeonjun speaks up. 
“You did well tonight, you looked…” 
“Good, I hope,” 
“You always look good, better than good, i was trying to come up with a different adjective,” it wasn't the first time he's complimented you, but it never stopped you from logging it away to giggle over it in private. “Sometimes I don't know what to say to you,” 
You chuckle, “I never took you as shy,” 
Strands of his hair hang in his eyes, head tilted just enough to catch what little light makes it in from the tinted windows, “no, not shy, just cautious,” 
“What, afraid you'll break me? Hurt my feelings? Or maybe my ego will get too big,” 
He lets out a soft breathy laugh, the sound taking up the space in the backseat. You loved the way his chuckles went down your spine, like a caress of his fingers on the skin you wished he touched. “You’d let me get close enough to break you?” 
“I don't think you could,” it's a light jab and yet it sets everything off kelter. The car ride charged with an energy you couldn't get back into its box. Now opened, the two of you looked back at each other as if you hadn't felt this pot simmering over. 
His eyes flickered down to your mouth, his tongue running over his bottom lip before he shrugged, “Okay,” he loved that you wanted to play this game with him, as if you hadn't always been slowly picking away at the short wall between you two. It was inevitable that you would end up pressed up against the mirrored walls in the elevator up to your hotel floor. 
He wasn't even going to do anything, he was going to let you go to your room while he mulled over your conversation, picturing exactly what he wanted to do to you. But then you leaned back against those mirrors, your body reflected around him as the doors slid closed behind him. Your eyes traced the line of him, lashes hooded just enough for you to look through, like a siren on the rocks, beckoning him closer. You didn't stop him when he cupped your jaw, thumb running over your bottom lip, nose dipping to yours. Even when he gave you enough time to pull away, lips ghosting over yours when he asked, “You'll be good for me, won't you?” 
Your answer is hummed right into his mouth when he kisses you, devouring you, pushing you into the corner giving you nowhere to go. His body is hot against yours, cageing you in as he kisses down your jaw, sloppy wet spots cooling in the air as he nips at your neck. “God, imagine them having to cover up all the marks I leave on you during tomorrow's shoot,” his hand is heavy on your hip, dragging down you cup your cunt over your jeans, “Everyone is going to know I fucking ruined this pussy for anyone but me,” 
Your whimper is eaten by the sound of the doors opening behind him, your tight grip on his shirt not loosening when he drags you out after him. He pushes you to his bed when you get past the threshold of his door. His slow walk to the nightstand to flick on the light gives you enough time to think about exactly what's happening. 
He loosens his tie, veiny hands curled around the fabric as he nods his chin in your direction, “Take your clothes off,” it was only a few hours ago when he saw you topless, and yet your fingers shake when you reach for your hem. “Don't be shy now little mouse, always all talk and no play,” 
The heat on your cheeks spreads to your ears at the nickname. Yeonjun takes to matching your state of undress by tossing his tie next to you before unbuttoning his shirt, the outline of him in his pants is mouthwatering. He watches the way you try to speak, hands twisting in the duvet not realizing he's come up so close to you before he's hooked his hand on your chin, tilting your head up before slipping his thumb into your mouth and pressing down on your tongue. He swirls the digit around, grinning at how willing you are to follow his command even without words, “one day ill fuck this pretty mouth, but for now, I need you on your hands and knees for me,” he shoves your face away, putting his slick finger in his mouth to taste you. 
Turning around and having him at your back is both chilling and exhilarating, not knowing when he's going to touch you until his hands are sliding up your back, unhooking your bra, and letting it fall off of you. He lets his hand press between your shoulder blades, pushing down hard enough for your arms to give way beneath you, the side of your face pressed into the sheets. “Every photoshoot I kept thinking about what it would be like to finally get you into my bed, I kept thinking about how I would finally fuck you, how exactly I could use your body,” 
His hands slide down your arms, tugging them behind you until you whimper, the silky material of his tie sliding along your fingers as he wraps up your wrists to keep you in place. “And every time I just came right back to thinking about putting you just like this, fucking you dumb; using you like my perfect little toy,” 
With one hand holding your tied wrists his other slips down to tease you over your soaked panties, fingers following the lines of your cunt like he was made to map you out by touch. You can't even form words and he hasn't done anything, your pathetic little whimpers pushing him further and further. “So quiet now, I wonder if it's because someone's scared I'll break her?” 
“Please,” it's so soft you don't think he's even heard you, but he's aching for every little sound. 
“Please what? What do you want me to do?” he pushes your panties aside, grinning at how wet you've gotten over so little. Your hips push back into his hand, his fingers slipping into you just enough to prep you for the stretch of taking him. 
“Fuck me, break me, anything-” he's so quick to press his cock into you that you're gasping losing all thoughts. His fingers had done little to let you grasp the sheer size of him, even all your slick couldn't help that pleasure mixed with pain as his tip kissed your cervix. 
He doesn't even hold off from moving, not once he's finally felt your warm gummy walls sucking him, so perfect he doesn't know how he will ever stop from coming back to you. He keeps one hand on your hip, fingers digging into your flesh, the other wrapped around the slack of his tie, tugging your arms and using them as leverage to keep his harsh pace as he fucks into your greedy cunt. 
You feel so full, so completely stuffed that you're a mess of incoherent moans mixing with the slapping sounds of your connecting bodies. Yeonjun is mesmerized by the way your ass ripples with each slap of his hips; mesmerized by the way his cock is disappearing in and out of you. “So fucking perfect,” he's grunting, “I'm going to fill up and then eat my little mouse out until she screams, kiss your pussy better after taking me so well, does that sound good?” 
“Yes, god yes!” Your voice is muffled by the way you are pressed into the mattress, arms slightly numb as he pummels himself into you, thrusts getting sloppier with the build up of his orgasm. He tells himself that he will pull out but then he's cumming, body shuddering as you clench around him, his rumbling moans following the steady pulse of his leaking cock. 
When he pulls out of you he watches the way the dribbling cream coats your puffy lips. Untying your hands he lets you roll onto your back, slotting himself between your legs and attaching his mouth to your swollen clit. Your fingers still gaining feeling fall to his hair, pulling on the strands and he brings your orgasm back to the surface. The obscene sounds coming from his fingers trying to match his previous pace makes him chuckle, the feeling of his laugh vibrating against your clit. It takes little work for you to tumble into your orgasm when he curls his fingers just right, your body following every command he lays down. 
His hand is covered in your combined cum when he's done with you, the stickiness capturing both of your attention before he shoves them into your waiting mouth.
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taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join! want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!
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loved-reid · 2 months ago
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You’re Cute…Yet Irritating [s.r]
Post prison!Spencer Reid x sunshine!fem!reader
Summary: She’s always humming a tune, dancing, or tapping her fingers. And Spencer can’t stand it.
Warnings: Angst with happy ending, irritated Spencer, crying, self doubt, rude comments, self hatred, etc.
Note: I always fidget and I thought this would be cute! Let me know what y’all think!!
Sorry for any errors! I didn’t re-read it! :)
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Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
2,745 times
And yes, he was unfortunately counting.
He bet she didn’t even know she was doing it, the repetitive rhythm of her finger nails on the desk. Files piled it, almost all the time, and Spencer always had to walk by with his fist in his mouth to prevent himself from organizing it the way he liked.
He was going to be honest, he kind of missed having that feeling, the urge to clean or organize. It told him, in a way, that his old self was still with him, and that little thing gave him hope that he so tightly held onto.
But his old self was able to focus. His old self was able to dig himself into file folders and never be able to leave, yet the tapping.
Spencer couldn’t take it.
His eye twitched every time she breathed particularly loud, his lips pursed when her foot started tapping on the floor, and, worst of all, his head shuttered when her dang finger nails tapped on the desk’s top.
He hated the noise.
And it surprised him that he did, it was such a little thing that was apparently going unnoticed by everyone else. But he just couldn’t focus on his work with the practical racket that was doing on next to him.
He wasn’t gonna lie, he almost got up just then to go ask Hotch for a desk rearrangement. But he knew that his boss would suspect something and either tease him about it or shake his head about how ridiculous it was.
Spencer agreed as well. He couldn’t change seats just because the woman next to him was tapping her fingers.
Gosh, even thinking it sounded absurd.
But he couldn’t help but imagine silence.
Silence while his brain could process things.
Spencer could’ve lost it when she started humming a soft tune. She seemed to have a new one in her head every day, each time she sat down, tea in hand, she hummed a different song than yesterday.
He couldn’t quite pin point which one it was, but he didn’t dare to continue thinking to figure it out.
His head turned toward her, hoping she’d notice his glare but she didn’t, she’s still stuck on the file she was looking at.
“Quit that, will ya?”
Her head snapped up at the sudden outburst, surprise reflecting in her eyes yet he spotted confusion.
How was she confused to the constant annoying tapping she was doing? And the humming? Spencer was slowly loosing his mind.
He took a deep breath to prevent from lashing out, his hand coming out and wiggling his fingers toward hers.
“T-the tapping, it’s irritating. Quit it please.”
Her face dropped from surprised to hurt, and Spencer somehow hated that it was quiet as soon as he said something.
“Right. Sorry,” she whispered so softly Spencer almost couldn’t hear her. She tried to add a little chuckle at the end of her murmur, yet her voice cracked against her own accord.
He watched her fingers stop, instead clenching them in a fist tightly.
Spencer should’ve been glad that the silence he so wanted was granted, but something unsettling brewed in his chest at her facial expression, her now glossy eyes staring at her computer screen. He also noticed her other hand that wasn’t holding the folder was digging into her thigh to prevent it from bouncing out of anxiety.
He didn’t know the feeling, regret, maybe, but all Spencer knew was that he wished he hadn’t said those words.
But he didn’t want to say sorry, something inside him prevented him from doing it. Maybe he was selfish because he ignored the regret in him and took the opportunity to have the ability to focus once more.
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“I can’t help, falling in love with you,” she hummed softly, just under her breath as she stirred her favorite tea in the mug the next morning.
Spencer had to admit, he missed her singing in the morning. It reminded him that through all the terrible cases they’ve experienced, there was still happiness in the world, still hope, and she clearly found it through music.
But the pounding headache that didn’t go away that day prevented him from being kind.
So he couldn’t dare to show his wishes of her singing more often, heck no. And the more he thought about it the more irritating it became. He became hyper focused on the breath before each sentence she sang, the cinnamon toothpaste blaring his nose. She was also slightly off pitch every couple seconds, and she sang a couple words wrong.
It got worse when she took forever to mix her tea, blocking his path towards the coffee machine.
He huffed, ignoring the way she flinched. “Move, will ya? There’s people who actually want to do their job and not sing songs about sunshine and rainbows; just please let me get some coffee.”
Her once upwards lips turned down, the light in her eyes going out. She cleared her throat. “Right, s-sorry.”
Spencer couldn’t help it. The comment spat out before he could control it. “S-sorry,” he mimicked. “You do know confidence is a key to this job, right? Quit the childish stuttering it’s infuriating.”
He didn’t see her reaction, but if he did he would see glossy eyes and a facial expression that represented a shattered heart.
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She raced out of the room, tea discarded on the counter and beelined towards the bathrooms. She quickly fumbled with the lock. It echoed throughout the bathroom, somehow making her emotions worsen. The tears went full force, a sob covered by her hands surrounding her.
His words kept repeating themselves in her head, telling her that she wasn’t good enough for the job.
Why even apply? He was clearly smarter than her and took things more seriously. What was she thinking? Coming into a field like this and humming and singing all the time? Who does that?
She could feel her makeup smearing, and her black fingers rubbing her cheeks confirmed her suspicions.
She never knew Spencer’s problem with her. Every moment she recalled every encounter, hoping not to come across a moment where she offended him. And she never did.
But now she knew. It was her humming, her tapping, her singing, her stuttering.
She wasn’t good enough to be here.
The thought made her cry harder, the type of sob where your breath catches in your throat, your vision blurry as your chest aches.
A soft knock on the stall door made her both flinch hardly and gasp at the same time.
A throat was cleared, an awkward moment of silence shoving its way between them.
“Can I come in?”
The voice on the other side wasn’t one she expected. Her heart started going on its own path, thumping quickly within her chest.
Her hand moved on its own accord, though hesitantly, and opened the lock.
Spencer’s hand came into view, opening the door and entering himself, closing and locking the door behind him.
Something about him being so close, the door locked, and them being in a place just for one person made her already beating heart pound harder.
His features, no doubt, were beautiful. His nose was like a button, eyes like chocolate in fresh cookies, lips soft and full like a blooming flower.
His hair, oh his hair. It was like a soft blanket she wanted to nestle her fingers onto, pulling at the roots until he let out a satisfying noise-
No.
He hurt her. The words he said. She was upset. He doesn’t like her.
Then why was he having such an effect on her?
Him clearing his throat once more caught her out of her thoughts, eyes meeting his.
“I wanted to say sorry. For what I said,” he whispered, and she noticed his fingers playing with each other. “It wasn’t nice nor professional. And I don’t mean any of it.”
His apology was simple and sincere, eyes somehow widening while gazing at her. (Or were his eyes always like that? Full and desperate?)
“And in case you were wondering, you’re lovely at your job,” he sounded like he was rambling again, but he also seemed desperate to get the words out. “Your singing brings happiness to the place. You’re more than good enough to be here. And I’m sorry I made you doubt your amazing abilities.”
She felt a soft smile come to her lips, cheeks reddening at his complements. She wiped her nose. “Really?”
He nodded, leaning down and grabbing some toilet paper to wipe her cheeks.
Instead of simply giving it to her, he wiped them himself, wiping the damage he did to her away on his own. “I mean it with my whole heart.”
Her heart warmed.
“Thank you Spencer,” she whispered shyly.
He gave her a toothless smile, opening his arms for a hug from her.
Her heart pounded, knowing he barely let anyone touch him, but stepped towards him nonetheless.
Her arms went underneath his blazer, on top of his dress shirt (causing him to shiver) and laying her head on his chest.
He embraced her back, far too tall to be over her shoulder so he rested his chin on her head, shampoo filling his nose.
They stayed like that for a couple moments before pulling back to look at each other.
His eyes met hers, emotions swirling around, like they were trying to tell him something.
If it was a warning or an invitation Spencer didn’t know, but he leaned forward to find out, nose brushing hers.
Her lips parted, causing his eyes to shoot downward at the movement.
He gave her a moment to push away, to shove him out of the stall for even thinking she had any interest on him.
The rejection never came.
He finally planted his mouth on hers, her hands shooting to his hair to pull at his roots, a small groan leaving his lips.
His lips tasted like coffee and something truly Spencer.
Whatever it was pulled her in more, craving the taste of his mouth.
They finally pulled away, breath fanning each other’s faces. She was the one who laughed first against his lips, and he copied her before kissing her once again.
Sure, she was irritating at times, but she was cute, he’d give her that.
479 notes · View notes
sprinkler-ashes · 19 days ago
Text
guilty as sin? // aaron hotchner x reader
guilty as sin?
aaron hotchner x fem!reader
words: 3.9k
warnings: pining, longing, a bit of angst, jealous hotch, slight language, povs switching back and forth because i couldn’t focus on just one sorry
description: in which you can't have the one person that you want. inspired by guilty as sin? by taylor swift.
a/n: whoops i am so sorry about disappearing for so long. basically i’ve been studying abroad and while getting to travel the world has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me, i'm so excited to be back with time to write! hope you guys like this one (and it’s holiday themed #sleigh) lmk if you want a part 2 and i might do it
messy top lip kiss
how i long for our trysts
without ever touching his skin
how can i be guilty as sin?
Aaron Hotchner can’t remember the last time, or if ever, he’s hated someone that he's never met before.
The BAU's annual Christmas party was in full swing, the atmosphere alive with laughter and the soft hum of holiday classics playing in the background – thanks to JJ’s playlist. Glittering, colorful lights and festive garlands adorned the room, and a tall, magnificent tree stood proudly in the corner, its ornaments catching the light. 
Penelope was right – no one could decorate for the holidays like she could.
Aaron stood at the far end of the room, a glass in hand, his eyes scanning the crowd. His team looked relaxed, their usual burdens temporarily lifted by the party that he had sworn he wasn’t coming to this year. 
It had been a tough year – every year was tough, but this one especially considering the ordeal of Emily faking her death and coming back. It had taken a toll on everyone. 
However, despite the pretty decorations that he knew Penelope had put hours into putting up, his focus remained focused on someone across the room.
You.
You looked stunning tonight wearing a deep emerald dress, your smile so blinding that it put Penelope’s decorations to shame. But it wasn’t just your beauty that held his attention.
 It was the man standing beside you, his hand resting a little too low for Aaron’s liking on your back as he leaned in to whisper something that made you flash a smile.
The man you’d brought as your date.
Aaron had been eyeing him all night. He was in a perfectly fitted suit with a tie that matched the color of your dress. He'd heard from JJ that the man was a lawyer that you had been set up with by one of your friends from college. Apparently, it wasn’t serious yet, and the two of you had only been on a few dates.
Not that he cared that much. And not that he nonchalantly asked JJ or anything.
Aaron’s jaw tightened as he took another sip of his drink, the liquid doing little to calm the feeling inside him. He had no right to feel this way, he reminded himself. You were his colleague, part of his team – he was your boss – and yet he couldn’t stop the wave of jealousy that surged through him every time your date leaned closer or when you laughed at something he said.
“You’re going to crack that glass if you keep holding it like that,” Rossi’s voice broke through his thoughts. He turned to find his friend’s knowing smirk, his wine glass tilted slightly as if in toast to Aaron’s predicament.
Aaron stiffened, his composure faltering for just a moment before he shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, come on,” Rossi said, rolling his eyes. “You’re oozing jealousy. It’s almost painful to watch.”
“I’m fine,” Aaron replied, loosening his grip on the glass. His tone was clipped, but Rossi wasn’t easily fooled. There was no use in trying to lie to one of his closest friends, but Aaron attempted to regardless.
“You’ve been staring at her all night,” Rossi said. “You might want to rein it in before someone else notices. Need I remind you that you’re in a room full of experienced profilers?”
Aaron said nothing as his gaze shifted back to you. Your date was gesturing animatedly, and you were nodding along, a genuine smile lighting up your face. It should have made him feel relieved to see you enjoying yourself after the traumatic year that you had been through but instead, it twisted something deep inside him.
“She seems happy,” Rossi observed, his voice softer now. “It’s good to see her smile. She’s been through a lot this year. We all have.”
Aaron didn’t respond immediately. He thought the pit in his stomach couldn’t go any deeper, but it did. His grip on the glass relaxed, but the knife in his chest didn’t ease. 
“Yeah,” he finally said, though the words felt distant, like someone was possessing him and speaking for him. “She took the Prentiss situation hard.”
You and Emily Prentiss were attached at the hip. There had never been two people who immediately matched each other’s energy more than you and Emily from the second that you joined the team. When Emily faked her death, you had been devastated. It caused you a lot of time in therapy and an even longer amount of time to accept the fact that she really wasn’t dead.
So, in short, yes, it was good to see you happy.
Aaron just wished that it was him making you happy instead.
“You can talk to her, you know,” Rossi told him. “She doesn’t bite.” Before he could respond, Rossi was pulling at his arm to follow him.
“What the hell are you doing?” Aaron muttered underneath his breath.
Rossi rolled his eyes. “Can you relax? You’re acting like an angsty teenager. We’re just going to go say hello.”
Your smile brightened at the sight of Rossi, and it lit up even more as your eyes moved to find Aaron’s.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Rossi said, but both him and Aaron knew that he was not sorry at all, “but I had to come to see how our star agent is doing this evening.”
You smiled at the compliment. “Oh, Rossi, stop it.”
He shook his head and looked at your date. “It’s only her second year here with us, and she’s almost as good as me.”
“Okay, now you’re just lying.”
Aaron’s eye finally caught yours, and he could’ve almost sworn that your breath caught in your throat, but he was probably just seeing things. You tossed him a small smile – one that made his chest tighten.
Rossi raised his hands in surrender. “I would never,” he said with a grin. He turned to your date. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
You cleared your throat in preparation to do introductions, but your date beat you to it. “Agent Rossi, right?”
Your date shook hands with Rossi as he introduced himself.
“And Agent Hotchner, correct?” He turned to Aaron and put out his hand. “It’s great to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
The tension between the two men was palpable, though your date seemed oblivious to it. Maybe it was just one-sided.
“Good things, I hope?” Aaron attempted a joke, much unlike himself.
Your date laughed. “Really good things – don’t worry. She thinks very highly of you. She’s always talking about you.”
You laughed awkwardly while Rossi attempted to hide a smirk behind his wine glass. Aaron, on the other hand, thought he was going to have a heart attack.
Thinks very highly of you.
She’s always talking about you.
“I think very highly of her as well,” Aaron said, trying to keep his voice at bay. “She’s an excellent agent.”
He locked eyes with you, and he knew he wasn’t imagining the way your breath hitched this time. You kept opening and closing your mouth like you wanted to say something to him, but no words ever came. Instead, you brought your drink to your lips and looked away.
Rossi, seeing the interaction that just played out in front of him, swooped in to help. “Well, it’s great to meet you.”
Your date, oblivious, nodded. “It really is. She’s been telling me how much she enjoys working with all of you. Sounds like a great team and sounds like you all are pretty close.”
“We are,” Rossi said smoothly, his voice warm but his eyes calculating as he watched Aaron out of the corner of his eye. “It’s not every day she brings someone to a work event. You must be quite the catch.”
Aaron was going to kill him.
You opened your mouth to interject, but your date beat you to it. “Well, I don’t know about that, but I like to think I’m lucky to have met her. We’ve had fun.”
“How did you two meet?” Rossi asked. It was a genuine question on his part.
“We were introduced by a mutual friend,” he explained. “It was kind of a blind date, but it worked out pretty well.”
Aaron’s grip on his glass tightened even more, and he hoped you didn’t notice how his jaw clenched for just a fraction of a second.
“Well,” Rossi said, breaking the tension, “it’s always nice to see someone who recognizes what they’ve got. Right, Aaron?”
Aaron’s gaze flicked to Rossi, his expression carefully neutral. “Absolutely,” he said, his voice steady but devoid of emotion. Then his eyes shifted to you, softening just enough to make your heart stutter. “She deserves the best.”
The weight of his words hung heavily between you, and for a moment, the room, the background chatter, and the bright lights seemed to fade away.
It was just the two of you, caught in a silent conversation that spoke volumes. You wanted to reach out – to say something, but you couldn’t as your date’s arm moved around to your waist, grounding you in the reality of the moment.
You had come here with someone. It wasn’t fair to him for you to be thinking about your boss in a not-very-appropriate way.
“Well, we should probably mingle,” he said cheerfully, oblivious to the tension swirling around him. He glanced at you with a warm smile. “Ready?”
You nodded, your smile feeling strained. “Yeah, let’s go.”
As he led you away, you glanced back over your shoulder, your eyes meeting Aaron’s one last time. Your expression was unreadable, but the emotion in your eyes was evident. It was an unspoken feeling that stayed with you both long after you turned away – a reminder of everything the two of you couldn’t say to each other and everything you couldn’t have.
Rossi watched Aaron carefully as the two of you disappeared into the crowd. “Before you say anything, I was testing to see how serious it is between them. You need to do something about this before it eats you alive,” he said, his tone devoid of his usual teasing.
Aaron didn’t respond, his gaze fixed on the spot where you had been standing. After a long moment, he downed the rest of his drink and turned to Rossi. “You shouldn’t have done that. Some things are better left alone. It would never work out anyways.”
Rossi shook his head, a hint of sadness on his aged face. “You don’t know that unless you actually try.”
Aaron didn’t reply while Rossi clapped a hand on his shoulder and walked away, but the set of his shoulders and the tension in his jaw spoke volumes. The holiday lights around the room glowed softly, a contrast to the storm of emotions swirling inside him.
Maybe he should’ve said something to you. Not just tonight, but before it turned into the mess that it had become.
You and Aaron had been working together for two years. You’d started not long before Haley died. He wasn’t sure what it was about you that made him forget how to speak, but there had never been a moment since he met you that he wasn’t completely and utterly mesmerized just by your mere presence.
It wasn’t just him that adored you. The whole team did – you were exactly what they needed. Rossi hadn’t been lying earlier because it was true: you were excellent at your job, but you were also kind, understanding, and empathetic – something Aaron felt like he lacked at times.
He knew you felt it. Whatever was going on between the two of you – it wasn’t just something one-sided that he had made up in his head. It didn’t take a profiler to figure out that you both had feelings for one another because anyone with eyes could tell.
Except your date, apparently.
Aaron would like to have said he didn’t know why the two of you had never brought it up, but he would be lying if he said that. 
A relationship with his subordinate would be a field day for Strauss. Logically, he wasn’t sure if it would ever work out as long as both of you were still working with the BAU, and if it would never work out, what was the point of even talking about it?
At the end of the day, Aaron was as professional as they come. He would never act upon anything with a risk of you losing your job over it.
These were the thoughts swirling around Aaron’s brain as he decided to step outside for some air, coming to the conclusion that he needed a moment to breathe and get out of the stuffy room.
To avoid drawing attention to his exit, he briskly left the room by taking the stairs rather than the elevator and made his way down and outside of the building.
As the cold December air hit his face as he sat down on one of the benches, Aaron knew with certainty that he had to get over the way he felt about you. It was evident that the man you came with was a good person, and he needed to shut down whatever unspoken attraction you had for each other.
“Was it overwhelming in there for you, too?”
Hotch whipped his head around at the sound of your voice to find you walking towards him, still in your dress but wearing your winter coat, your hands stuffed in the pockets. There was no evidence on your face of how you were feeling as you sat down beside him. You weren’t close enough for your leg to be touching his, but close enough that if he moved even the slightest inch, it would be.
He tried not to think about that.
“Hot, stuffy, and too many people,” he said as he tugged on his tie, hoping that loosening it up would help him breathe easier around you.
You laughed. “I love Penelope’s enthusiasm, but did she really have to invite what feels like the entirety of Quantico to this party? I would’ve been fine with the team just getting dinner or something. I don’t know, like, over half of the people in there. I think she just sent out a mass invite to the entire FBI. Speaking of that, what were your thoughts on the e-vite?”
“I didn’t know that many shades of pink existed,” Aaron said, fully serious.
Another laugh escaped you, this one much more prominent. You looked so pretty that he couldn’t help but crack a rare smile – something that actually wasn’t that rare around you.
A comfortable silence grew between Aaron and you. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth.
“Your date seems nice.”
He glanced over at you as you raised an eyebrow up at him. You didn’t say anything.
“What?” He asked in response to your silence.
“You can be honest.”
Aaron frowned. “I am being honest. He was,” Aaron paused, trying to find the right word, charming.”
You chuckled. “So you’ve been glaring at him all night because he’s charming?”
That caught him off guard. “I wasn’t glaring.”
“Hotch, I think you forget that I’m also a profiler,” you retorted, “and a damn good one. You don’t have to lie to me if you don’t like him.”
He frowned. “Why do you care what I think of him?”
This time, you were the one that was caught off guard. You pursed your lips together in concentration, trying to think of what to say to Aaron.
“I value your opinion.”
Aaron nodded. “Because you think very highly of me?”
You turned away from him with a playful eye roll, a tinge of embarrassment running through your veins as you remembered your date telling your boss right in front of you that you talk about him all the time. In your defense, you wouldn’t say that you talked about Aaron all the time.
Okay, maybe seventy-five percent of the time, but you couldn’t help it.
Aaron Hotchner was charming, attentive, and a natural leader when it came to his job. He made everything look effortless. It was no wonder why you were immediately drawn to him right after meeting him.
You weren’t sure if you were ever not going to be drawn to him.
Your mind raced back to your date, who was still inside while you had told him that you needed some air. You grimaced, feeling guilty at the idea of him inside by himself while you were sitting on a bench with the man you actually wanted to be with.
But technically, you weren’t doing anything that you shouldn’t be. In fact, you weren’t even official with the guy – this was only the third time you had seen him and while you liked him as a person, you were planning on telling him that it wasn’t going to work out after tonight. 
You’d only agreed to your friend’s incessant request for a blind date in an attempt to get Aaron out of your head, and he was actually the one who offered to come to the party with you – not the other way around. He was a nice man who, in any other circumstance in which you had never met Aaron, you probably would’ve been head over heels for.
Both fortunately and unfortunately, you had met Aaron Hotchner.
“Well, if I recall correctly, you also said that you think highly of me.”
“I did say that. I do think highly of you. I’m not denying it,” he said before he quickly added, “I think highly of everyone on the team.”
Aaron wanted to kick himself after seeing how your face fell before you quickly replaced the disappointed look with a smile. “Yeah, it’s a good team to be a part of.”
He was trying to keep it together like the professional that he claimed to be. The comment was meant to be a neutral compliment, not hurt your feelings. Of course he thought highly of everyone on the team, but the way that he said it didn’t make the situation better.
You cleared your throat, knowing you had to go back to your date and stop digging yourself deeper into the situation you were already in. “I should get back inside.”
Aaron nodded, getting ready to stand up with you. “I should, too, before Garcia sends a search party to hunt me down.”
As the two of you got ready to stand, your eye flickered to his undone tie.
“Oh, your tie is undone,” you told him. 
He looked down at it and moved his hands to fix it, but you hesitated for a moment before you stopped him. “Let me,” you murmured.
You weren’t sure what had gotten into you, and you weren’t sure why your hands were now moving to your boss’s neck to fix his tie when he was perfectly capable of doing it himself. You’d just told yourself that you were going to go back inside, but there you were: your hands inching closer and closer to Aaron Hotchner’s body when you should’ve been going back inside.
Aaron froze, his breath hitching audibly as your fingers brushed the fabric, your knuckles ghosting his chest over top of his white button-up dress shirt. Slowly and carefully, you straightened the tie, your fingertips grazing the skin at the base of his throat as you finally slid the knot up to his collar. 
His pulse thrummed under your touch – it was rapid, unsteady, and unlike him – and you felt your own heart race in response to the close proximity.
It shouldn’t have felt the way that it did. You were fixing his tie. It wasn’t an act that was supposed to be intense, but it was. You didn’t want to be dramatic, but you were positive that fixing his tie was the most intimate act of your life.
Neither of you spoke as your hands moved. Aaron’s gaze bore into you, dark and heavy with something you couldn’t name, but you felt in every nerve and every inch of your body.
When you finished, your hands lingered, trembling slightly. Whether that was from the cold or from the moment with Aaron – you weren’t sure. 
His tie was perfectly fixed now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to get up off the bench and walk back inside. Your hands never moved – one holding his tie and the other resting against his neck. He lifted his hand, hovering near your leg as though he wanted to touch you, but he didn’t dare.
“Aaron,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your pounding heart. Your eyes searched his, looking for a sign as to how he was feeling.
For him, his name on your lips was his undoing. You never called him Aaron – only ever Hotch.
 His hand moved to your hip before snaking it around to your lower back, your bodies now as impossibly close as they could on the bench. 
His grip was firm but tentative as he leaned in, his forehead nearly brushing yours as his other hand moved up and around to rest gently against the side of your face. The only audible sound in that moment was the sharp intakes of breath between the both of you
You didn’t know who moved first, but the distance between you disappeared. His nose grazed yours while you involuntarily closed your eyes. If you moved even the slightest inch, your lips would meet.
 His breath was warm against your lips in the winter air, and for a fleeting moment – a split, brief, delusional second – you thought he might kiss you.
But then, as if the weight of reality came crashing down, he pulled back. His hand dropped from your hip, his expression a mix of longing and regret as he avoided eye contact with you – something that he never did.
“We should go back inside,” he said, his voice strained as he moved to stand up.
You nodded, your throat too tight to speak and your hand still gripping his tie. Immediately, you pulled back and stood up quickly, the cold air rushing in to fill the space where his warmth had been.
As you made your way back inside, the tension between you and Aaron was undeniable and worse than it had ever been before. It was something neither of you could escape as you walked back up the stairs, not daring to come up in the elevator together.
You didn't look at him as you moved quickly to breeze past him on the staircase, afraid of what you might see in his eyes.
Or worse, what you might not see.
When you returned, the party was still in full swing, the lights and music still bright and loud. You didn’t have time to think about what had just happened before Spencer came up to you, rambling on about something that you couldn’t bring yourself to fully listen to.
 But as you rejoined the crowd and tried to be present in the conversation with Spencer, the memory of Aaron's touch on your body lingered. 
It was a silent reminder of everything you couldn’t have.
326 notes · View notes
asumi2020202 · 6 months ago
Text
Everything has a Price to Pay
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader
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Summary: Daemon's hired men, whilst trying to slay Aemond in his bed, accidentally harmed his wife and his son and Aemond blames his wife for it.
A/n: The 2nd episode of s2 broke my heart. The way Helaena clung to her son's blanket. But anyways, this is something which is somewhat based on the storyline of ep 1 and 2 of s2 but unlike the directors taking out Alys Rivers from the show, I'm including her. Thank you for reading!
______ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ___________________________
All throughout the kingdom, you were known to be the gentlest of souls much like your sister. Though she was naive and all too forgiving, you were a bit unlike her. You preferred knowledge but both of you were kind.
Your marriage to Aemond was exactly like Aegon and Helaena's. To keep the bloodline pure. Except the only difference was that both of you loved each other and that he was not like Aegon.
You always stayed with either your sister or your husband ever since a child. Or sometimes you would accompany your eldest brother, he only had you who understood him.
Unlike his brother and nephews, you didn't tease and harrass Aemond, for you too knew what it felt like to not be heard. He felt as if he could only seek comfort in you and his mother as a child and even now.
When he had claimed Vhagar, he had to pay the cost with his eye.
He realised he loved you when the maester and maids tried to usher you away saying the stitching and mending to his face would too horrific to see for your gentle soul yet you stood your ground and held his hand while your mother pleaded for justice.
You felt hate for your father. For he blindly trusted his daughter, disregard anyone else. If someone even asks him your name he probably would not be able to say.
After that incident in the Red Keep, your half-sister's family fled to Dragonstone.
_________________________________________
War had started. Your mother along with your grandsire, successfully installed Aegon on the throne. Your husband Aemond had took the life of your nephew.
You knew that the House of the Dragon would tear each other apart. With no literal escape.
It was only some days before your child would be born. Having your first child with your husband. The only happiness in this devastating time.
Your happiness has crashed down when you got a raven. Your husband was laying with some bastard whore in Harrehal. The only thoughts you would get were
Did he not love me? He always swore that he would never leave me and stay by my side, that he will be different than our father.
He looked happy when he got to know of our child yet he is laying with another woman.
What did I do wrong?
Why did he lie?
He left you right when the war had been declared and he finalized it by killing your nephew.
Your mother tried to help you. Completely disappointed in her son. She raised him better yet he still did this. Harming her daughter, hurting her emotions and dishonouring her.
You stayed with Helaena until the pressure of it all became too much to bear and ultimately pushing you towards your labor.
_________________________________________
You laid in your bed crying, sweating and panting, while your husband was who knows where.
You held tight onto your mother's hand as Helaena quietly said "A price must be paid for all that is done."
Soon enough your child was born. It was a son. Your little Aenor.
Moonfyre's roar were heard. She could sense a new presence. One familiar to her bonded sister.
You cried as you took your son in your arms, your mother kissing your head as your sister gently rubbed your arms.
_________________________________________
Moonfyre had laid her eggs 3 weeks before your son's birth.
It had been a week since you had Aenor. Since your husband, if you can even call him that now, had not returned. You took it upon yourself to get him his own dragon egg.
As you walked through the dragon pit, you saw some dragon keepers scared.
"Moonfyre iksos daor īlva jikagon va zyhōn. Nyke suggest ziry would sagon wise naejot daor jikagon va zyhōn nykeā zyhōn drōma sir." Said a dragon keeper.
Moonfyre is not letting us go near her. I suggest it would be wise to not go near her or eggs now.
"Dīnagon aside. Nyke shall ūndegon skoros nyke kostagon gaomagon." Came your reply.
Move aside. I shall see what I can do.
As you walked further in, you saw you dragon, guarding her precious eggs.
You walked towards her. She's let's out a small noise upon recognising you. You gently placed your hand on her snout and then your forehead. With her wings she gently pushed you towards her eggs, guarding you.
You chose an egg for your son. Before leaving, you patted her snout and scratched it a bit, giving her some comfort.
_________________________________________
Night had already fallen over kings landing. You were with your son in your shared chambers. He had fallen asleep to your gentle humming.
As you were cradling your son to your chest, you heard the door being opened. You thought it was perhaps a maid but as you turned around you saw the rat catcher that comes everyday.
He was smirking and held a knife. Soon after him, entered a muscular man who had a knife as well.
"A son .. for a son he said." Said the muscular man. "Oh but look there, thats his son." Replied the rat catcher to the other man.
As the other one looked at you, you felt dangered.
"I.. have a necklace. It.. is of great value.." you cradled your son closer to your chest with one arm while with the other hand you tried to open the necklace.
The muscular man simply tore it away from your neck. Fear was evident in your eyes. You took a step back as the rat catcher said
"Hand him over and you'll live. We only need him."
As he approached you, you placed your right hand over your right thigh where your own dagger was kept.
The rat catcher tried to forcefully take your son but before he could do so, you kicked him in his crotch. While writhing in pain, he slashed your arm. The other one was coming towards your son, but as he tried to slash him in your arms you turned around.
His blade dug through your back. Muscles getting slashed. Extreme pain courses through you. Yet you didn't give up. U took out your dagger and slashed his cheek and stabbed his chest. As he flinched away, you took your chance and ran out the room, you nightgown red with your blood.
You didn't know where to go. Time was limited. You could hear faint moaning noises. Cradling your son closer to your chest, with your jaw on his head, you followed the noise.
You came infront of your mother's chambers and entered without a second thought. You saw her with Ser Cole but you didn't care about that. Your energy was running out. A lot of blood was lost. You didn't even know if you would survive.
With your remaining strength you said "Mother". You shakily walked to her and somehow gave her your son as you collapsed beside her bed.
Alicent's scream could be heard from everywhere. She couldn't believe her eye. Her little sweet y/n was bleeding out in front of her. She put Aenor on her bed as he wailed out loudly.
Alicent kneeled before her daughter and hugged her to her chest. Her blanket and body getting bloodied. She cried and cried.
Aegon and Helaena had appeared as well. Helaena couldn't watch, tears flowing from her eyes. She took Aenor as a maid escorted them away to her room.
Aegon rushed beside his mother and sister. Gently taking her in his arms as maester Orwyle came through hurriedly, asking Aegon to put you on the bed.
Aegon very carefully laid you on your stomach on the bed. While maester Orwyle asked them to leave the room, both your brother and mother did not stop crying.
_________________________________________
Aemond had landed on the Red Keep. Getting off of Vhagar, he walked inside the castle. As he entered, he could see a man being dragged to the dungeon. Blood everywhere. Maids rushing around.
He saw his brother. But he wasn't as he usually was. He knew after becoming the king, Aegon had changed, but now he looked completely different.
His hair not brushed. Eyes red and tired. Blood. He was covered in blood.
As Aemond walked towards him, he heard Aegon say to a guard "kill every rat catcher you can find. Spare none."
Aegon looked away from the guard and saw Aemond. His eyes filled with fury. He marched towards him and grabbed his collar.
"Finally came back huh brother? It could've been avoided with you here yet you chose your whore over everything else." Aegon said, trying to keep his calm which is very unlikely of him.
Aemond felt ashamed and confused. Ashamed for being disloyal to you and dishonouring the family and confused thinking about what Aegon was saying.
"Look I'm sorry brother, that was a mistake. But do explain what you mean by it could've been avoided. What has happened?"
"Our sister had given birth to your son a week ago. And today she-" Aegon stopped. His tears flowing uncontrollably. "T-today she and my nephew were attacked. She is badly wounded. Maester Orwyle is with her but he said that she lost a lot of blood. That she was already weak from the birth and now this." With this Aegon completely broke down.
Aemond's breathing stopped. He chose his whore over you. The one who always stood up for him. He felt ashamed. So ashamed that he might sink and drown.
He ran towards his mother's room after Aegon told him where you were while he went down the dungeons to deal with the man who dare hurt you.
As Aemond reached, he saw his mother. Scared and fearful. He knew he fucked up bad. As she noticed him, she walked up towards him, looked him in the eyes and slapped him. He deserved it.
_________________________________________
You slowly opened your eyes, trying to take in your surroundings. You saw your husband pacing around the room.
He noticed that you were awake and spoke. "You're awake" you remained silent as you recalled the events of last night.
"Aenor.... My son.. my son Aenor! Is he okay?! Did he get hurt?!" Your enquired as you suddenly sat up, ignoring the pain in your body. Worried for your son.
"He only had a small cut on his feet. Nothing else. He is okay." Aemond replied helping you back down. You felt relieved and finally acknowledged your pain and groaned.
He didn't knew what came over him in an instance. He felt anger towards the ones who hurt you and his son. He was angry with himself but instead it got directed at you.
"If only you had taken better care of the security, none of this would've happened.." he muttered.
"What?" You sat up again, not believing your ears.
"If only you knew how to fight, this would've never happened! You can't fight, can't run, you can't even protect our child like a mother should!! You should have called more guards!!" He shouted while pointing his finger at you.
You got up from your mother's bed and stood as you held onto the bed.
"It is my fault now?! Huh?! You're the one who's irresponsible. You left me!! You left me and my child to fend for ourselves!! You left us for your whore whom you sought comfort in instead of your wife!! Where were you when we were attacked huh?! Were you fucking your whore?! Were you creating your bastards?!
You promised me that you were different. That you would treat me with respect unlike other husbands with their wives. You said you were different but...... You're just more of the same.." your voice raised and came down as tears flowed rapidly. Your would reopened because of how tensed your body was. Your nightgown was starting to get bloodied again.
Aemond was shocked. He yelled at his precious wife. His gentle lady wife. And she who never raised her voice no matter how angry or raged up she may be, shouted at him.
He fucked up greatly.
You winced as you fell to the ground. Blood getting everywhere as Aemond rushed to your side and gently tried to pick you up but you refused.
"Don't. Do not touch me with the hands that you used to hold her. I may be a woman. I may be the most vulnerable, but I have an honor. Neither my son nor do I need you. I will ask Aegon to annul our marriage. After that you may return to your whore and I will raise my son alone." You said, wincing as pain shot through you body.
Your lady in waiting came in and got you up on the bed and called maester Orwyle.
As Aemond got up from the floor, he was speechless. He never knew one mistake would cost him his everything. The words you spoke hurt more than when he lost his eye.
The entire day those words circled his thoughts.
_________________________________________
It had been a week since the last time Aemond met you. He had went to Harrehal and returned. Aemond walked inside your shared chambers after he got to know that you shifted back there. Aegon provided two guards infront of your door.
He watched as you cradle your son to your chest with your left hand which was fine and hummed a valyrian song to him.
You stopped as you as noticed him. You gently put Aenor in his crib and straightened your back.
"I'm sorry" he started.
"You sorry means nothing to me. You say your sorry now but next chance you get you'll run back in her arms." You spoke, gazing out the window.
"There will be no next time. I got rid of everything that would come in between us." He replied as your body stilled after hearing his words.
"Whatever do you mean?" You asked, turning back to face him.
"I got rid of her. All i now need is your forgiveness. For you to accept me again. To trust me again. Please avy jorrāelan. Forgive me this once." He begged as he got down on his knees and held your hand.
You were shocked. He killed her. He killed her without a second thought. You wanted to loathe him but deep down you loved him.
"I don't know..... I don't know anymore. I want to trust you Aemond. But I can't. I can't trust you. You've hurt me far too much.
It'll take a while to heal the scar you inflicted upon me but I will try. I will try to forgive you." You replied shakily.
He got up and hugged you lightly not to press on your wounds.
"Thank you my love. Thank you" he spoke as he kissed your head.
You gave in to his warm embrace. War has started. But right now you just want to be held.
You would think later of how to punish those who dare harm your family.
Those who hurt your son will pay. They will pay with their life. And you will see to it that they burn in flames. You will make sure that they rot in hell even if you too would have to.
After all nothing is for free....
Everything has a Price to Pay.......
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flowerandblood · 6 months ago
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Sacrifices (Oneshot)
[ canon • Aemond x little sister • female ]
[ warnings: incest obviously, sex content, virginity loss, oral sex, smut, fluff, sexual tension, obsession ]
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[ description: Finally, after months of waiting, his beloved, younger sister becomes his wife. The task that awaits him as an older brother is not to cause her pain during the beautiful act in which they will finally become one. ]
Part 4 (the last) of the Appearances, it can be read as standalone story.
My other works: Masterlist
_____
"Don't be afraid, hāedar (little sister)."
This was easier said than done.
The day of their nuptials, although it was the fulfilment of their dreams and hopes, was also a time full of terror and humiliation for them.
Aegon made sure to speak his thoughts aloud about how his younger brother would not be able to please his sister and that it was him she should give her wedding night to.
"With one eye, he won't even know where to put it." Aegon sneered, taking a deep sip from his cup. Their mother gave him a quick, rebuking glance.
"Aegon. That is enough."
The humiliation he felt burned his loins like fire, however, what really frightened him was her pale face, her hands clenched on her beautiful green dress, the field flowers pinned into her hair.
She looked so beautiful and innocent that he was afraid to touch her, barely brushing her tiny, delicate hands as they danced.
He hated courtly courtesy, and the steps he had to take to the rhythm of the music seemed forced and clumsy, yet he was doing it for her, just for her.
Although it was their wedding day, she was sad and tired.
To his joy, with the help of his mother, he managed to dissuade his brother and his friends from participating in their intimate act. When the chamber door closed behind them, they were left alone.
He was relieved when her body clung to his: it was not a gesture of desire, but of fear and uncertainty, as if she had been waiting for hours and could not do it because it would be indecent behaviour.
Embracing her husband.
She was his wife.
"Lēkia (big brother)." She muttered, sinking into his linen white shirt, her body covered only by her nightgown.
His arms involuntarily embraced her petite figure, sinking her face into his chest, her scent, her closeness making him feel a pleasant warmth in his stomach.
"I'm here. No one's going to hurt you." He whispered, his full lips placing a loud, soft kiss on the top of her head.
Gods, how he loved her.
Her, only her.
Love was a weakness and he knew it, and she was the only person he wanted and needed to be vulnerable in front of.
"Are you afraid?" She asked involuntarily, looking up at him with her big, dark eyes that she had inherited from their mother.
His broad hand rose to her plump cheek and stroked her skin with his thumb, looking at her with his lips parted, feeling a squeeze in his heart.
What should he answer?
What if she thought he was weak, that Aegon was right?
That he wouldn't be able to please her?
"What do you mean?" He muttered, looking into the depths of her dark, shining eyes.
"Have you ever lain with a woman? Before our betrothal. You can tell me, I'll understand." She whispered in a trembling voice, and he swallowed hard, feeling the cold sweat on his back.
He didn't know if it was a good idea to tell her, but he didn't want to begin their marriage with a lie.
"I did, issa dōna rūklon (my sweet flower). Once. It was Aegon's idea, not mine. On my thirteenth Name Day." He choked out with difficulty, feeling shame and fear at the thought that she might have rejected him, found him disgusting, unworthy of her affection.
She nodded, to his surprise looking as if she felt relieved, her trembling hand found his, their fingers intertwined in a soft, tender embrace.
"You promised me that from this day to the end of your days you would be mine alone." She whispered, and he nodded, feeling his erection swell and pulse in his breeches at her words, reminding him of the vow they had made to each other in the Great Sept.
"Yes, sweet sister. I am yours and you are mine." He sighed, leaning over her, in some natural, simple reflex, letting their lips cling to each other in a soft, warm kiss.
They both purred with contentment, carefully grasping each other's cheeks in their hands, stroking the skin of their faces with their fingers, letting their wet, rough tongues lick tentatively with the quiet click of their saliva.
"– ah – mmm –" She hummed as one of his arms hugged her waist, forcing her body to slam against his, his impatient cock pushing against her belly.
"– can you feel it, hāedar? –" He exhaled, looking down between their bodies, watching the bulge under the material of his breeches pressing against her body. "– can you feel what you're doing to me? – how much I crave to feel you? –"
She looked at him with a hazy, dreamy, hot gaze from which he felt a squeeze in his lower abdomen, her glistening, puffy lips parted wide.
"– I want it, brother – make it feel good –" She whispered, and he needed no more encouragement. She squealed in surprise, throwing her arms around his shoulders as he lifted her up, holding her beneath her buttocks, walking with her towards their large marital bed now standing in his chamber.
"– easy, little one – easy –" He murmured with a smile, touched by her innocent, involuntary behaviour, in the candlelight seeing how much her cheeks had blushed with emotion.
"– will it hurt, Aemond? – mum said it would –" She muttered as he laid her down on the soft, clean bedding, apparently revealing to him at last the reason for her sadness and anxiety all day.
He sighed heavily, climbing onto the bed, reading dozens of books before their wedding just to make sure he did everything he could to spare her suffering.
"– there's a thin wall inside you that I'm going to have to break – during this moment, you'll be able to feel discomfort and sting, but when it's behind us, I swear you'll feel nothing but pleasure –" He whispered in a trembling voice, spreading her thighs in front of him, letting the material of her nightgown expose her bare thighs.
She blinked, looking at him in disbelief, surprised, apparently, by his extensive knowledge on the subject, and breathed out quietly, as if trying to relax.
"– we'll start with what's familiar to you – we need to make you wet and willing for your brother – hm? –" He murmured, cocking his head, trailing his hands from her knees to her thighs. She nodded quickly, wriggling impatiently, clearly now more excited than frightened, shivering on her skin in the places where he ran his palms.
A sweet sigh of surprise left her lips as he drew her closer to him and leaned in, sinking his face into her heat: her folds were pink and swollen, soft and tender as silk. His sister smelled of bath, of fragrant oils and herself, of her own sweat – he murmured at the thought, the tip of his tongue running over her small, swollen bud, making her fingers clench in his hair, her head thrown back.
"– lēkia –" She mewled, rolling her hips back and forth, impatient, wanting more and harder. He, however, decided to take his time and explore her womanhood, the space around her pearl, her tight slit, which he teased with slow, lazy flicks of his tongue.
He felt the taste of her moisture on his tongue and grinned under his breath as he listened to her moans, feeling her body writhing before him in convulsions, his fingers digging warningly into the plush structure of her thigh.
"– lay still –" He hissed, finally forcing his tongue between her fleshy, hot walls, licking and rubbing the small spot just above her opening, teasing her bud with his nose, all swollen from his caresses.
"– Aemond – Aemond, Aemond, Aemond –" She sobbed in front of him, chasing her peak, but he knew he couldn't let her come.
Not yet.
He stopped his treatments and raised himself up on his elbows, looking at her with satisfaction, wiping his face with his hand. Her long, dark hair was spread around her head, her lips parted wide in a heavy breath, her gaze hot and full of desire.
"– I want more – husband –" She mumbled, and he sighed and nodded, sliding the material of his breeches lower, releasing his hard, long manhood, dripping from his precum.
Husband.
"– show me your breasts, sweet wife –" He commanded, and she drew in a loud breath and quickly slid the material of her nightgown off her shoulders, revealing her bare chest to him.
Something about her appearance, about how different she was from Madam, aroused him even more – her plump breasts with their sweet, hard nipples were more girlish, more innocent, more lovely.
His.
His hand squeezed his swollen cock at the base with sure, quick jerks as he leaned in, sinking and clamping his mouth on her little nipple, beginning to suck involuntarily as if he were a baby.
He had never heard her let out a similar moan before, so helpless and loud, her hands immediately pressed his face closer to her breast as if she wanted to melt into one with him.
"– b-brother – what are you – ah –" She mewled and shuddered as he directed the thick head of his cock against her leaking, hot slit and began to slowly push.
She gasped, throwing her head back, clearly not having known a similar sensation in her entire life – he opened her with difficulty and was met with resistance, her moan of discomfort telling him that this was the moment.
He released her breast and lifted himself up on his arm higher, to her face, wanting to look into her eyes, his nose pressed against her cheek.
"– I need to push harder now – this might hurt a little – spread your thighs wider – yes, just like that – ready? –" He asked and she nodded, her eyes big with desire and terror.
He cradled her head to the hollow of his neck, slid out a little and with one sure thrust hit something deep inside her, from which she cried out loudly and squealed in pain, her fingers tightening on the material of his shirt.
Fuck, he hadn't made it.
He had to do it again, harder.
"– just one more time – one more time and it will be over –" He whispered in a trembling voice, her walls almost painfully tight against his cock, clenching in panic.
He grasped her buttocks in his hands, pulling them apart with her whine of discomfort, and with one violent thrust he finally broke deeper into her warm interior. He felt her burst into sobs, her legs quivering all over in his embrace, her fingers clenched painfully hard against his skin.
"– stop – don't move – don't move –" She mumbled pleadingly, and he froze motionless, panting heavily, feeling the sting in his heart, for some reason feeling like crying himself. His lips placed warm, tender kisses on her temple and cheek, his broad hand simply stroking her hair, wanting to reassure her.
"– I know, I'm so sorry – I know I promised it would be easier – but the worst is behind us –" He promised, and she swallowed heavily, feeling how hard his erection pulsed inside her.
"– it still hurts –" She confessed, and he nodded.
"– we'll wait until it stops – we'll just embrace and kiss until the discomfort passes – hm? –" He asked in a shaky voice, afraid that she would reject him now, tell him to stop, that she didn't want to see him, that she would never let him touch her again.
She, however, nodded and looked at him with a trusting and affectionate gaze from which his lips, swollen with desire, melted with hers into one. They kissed loudly and unashamedly, their tongues dancing with each other deep in their throats, fighting for dominance, their hands stroking their hair and bodies.
Indeed, he felt her walls stop pressing so hard against him, her breathing calmed, tears of fear stopped flowing down her face. Tentatively, he slid deeper into her, and she only sighed, combing through his hair, without however uttering a word.
"– may I? –" He asked in a quivering voice, feeling his cock about to explode with desire. She looked up at him, her lips parted sweetly, her face all red from emotion and tears.
"– yes – just – be gentle – She mumbled, and he pressed his forehead against hers, with a low groan slowly and firmly sliding all the way into her. He looked at her face, at her eyelashes glistening from her tears, at her sweet red lips, and thought he had to do this to her.
"– sister –" He exhaled and began to pound into her, shyly and shallowly at first, thinking only of how tight, warm, wet she was, that he was just taking her maidenhood and her, what was rightfully his from the day she was born.
"– brother –" She muttered, throwing her head back, clearly feeling the opposite of discomfort at the moment.
"– 'm going to accelerate now –" He whispered, gripping her hips in his hands, imposing a sharp, fast rhythm on her, slamming into her the way he'd always dreamed of doing, the loud slaps of their skin building his way to fulfilment.
She moaned loudly, throwing her legs over his back, her hands on his neck pressed him closer, wanting to unite with him, to become one as they were always meant to be. They kissed passionately and deeply, then again and again as her hips began to rock, seeking a shared rhythm with him, her sweet little cunt began to squeeze him, soaking him all over.
"– ñuhon (mine) –" He exhaled between the aggressive, sticky, slick dance of their teeth and tongues, their bodies entwined in an aggressive, close embrace like a vine.
"– aōhon (yours) – iksan aōhon, lēkia (I'm yours, big brother), oh fuck, fuck, fuck! –" She cursed far too sweetly and innocently, throwing her head back in euphoria, going before his eyes through the kind of release she had never before experienced in his presence, the great wet spot under their buttocks making him lick his lips lustfully.
"– that's right – I intend to fulfil my duty to you as a husband every day, ābrazȳrys (wife) – ah – fuck, yes –" He sighed, feeling a tightening in his stones, only to feel a wonderful, stunning relief a moment later and finally fill her with his seed, as he had always been destined to do.
"– gods –" He exhaled, falling on top of her, their hands clenched on their bodies, refusing to let go, their breaths hitched and heavy, full of fulfilment.
"– I want to see you bare, valzȳrys (husband) –" She mumbled out in shame, and he hummed, for some reason pleased with her request.
At the thought that he hadn't discouraged her from their intimacy, that she wanted it as much as he did.
As he pulled off his shirt and breeches she slipped off the material of her nightgown, remaining unashamedly naked before him, sweet, beautiful, his.
His little sister.
He drew her to him, placing tender, loud kisses full of affection on her bare skin, her nimble fingers pulling at the ribbon material at the back of his head, releasing the front strands of his hair.
He looked at her and smiled, thinking with pride that he was her husband and she was his wife, that every night from that day until his death she would spend at his side, in his bed, bearing his children, his inheritance.
They clung to each other like little children, sinking into each other's embrace, stroking each other's naked bodies, kissing the skin of each other's sweaty faces, red with emotion, knowing that no one would ever separate them again.
Before the face of men and gods, they were one.
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oddinary4bts · 6 months ago
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Chasing Cars | ch 10 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader, Yoongi x Hoseok
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: side character breakup, jungkook is still a little jealous lmao, alcohol, curses, they both are anxious to lose each other tbh, explicit content: hickey, breast play, oral sex (male receiving), jerking off, fingering, protected sex
☆word count: 10.1k
☆a/n: fun fact, this is the chapter that made me choose the title for this fic!! and this is also where the angst starts :') I hope you still enjoy reading <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3
☆series masterpost
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Monday, March 25th 
You hate college. More specifically, you hate having to turn in multiple lab reports every week. There’s just something about building a lab report that irks you.
You don’t know how researchers do it. You think you’d go insane if you had to write report after report after report but…
You’re already going insane after all.
You sigh, rubbing a hand on your forehead as you look at the tables you’ve been trying to make for half an hour. Yoongi, sitting across from you, raises his head from his laptop, an eyebrow cocked. You offer him a tight-lipped smile, going back to your report as he doesn’t pry, focusing back on his own work.
As much as he spoke to you at the party last week, Yoongi has been a lot more silent today. You reckon you might know why - Hoseok said in the group chat that he’d come to study too, and he’s yet to show up. It’s evening now, and you have a feeling he’s just not going to come. 
You don’t know if you can entirely blame him - it’s Spring Break after all, and most people are trying to forget about college for the week. 
But you can’t, because you’ve got that lab report to work on and a final to study for.
You blink a few times, trying to bring your laptop back in focus, and then you go back to work. You spend another thirty minutes fixing the tables, not caring that the titles clearly could be better. Nabi said she’d go over everything you’ve done, and you know she’s much better with titles anyway.
You’re lucky she’s your lab partner. 
“Are you hungry?” Yoongi asks all of a sudden, and you startle, looking up at him.
Right in time, your stomach grumbles, and you let out a small laugh. “Yeah, a little.”
“Want to order burritos?” Yoongi suggests.
You nod enthusiastically, and he chuckles, picking up his phone. The smile that was on his lips dies almost immediately, and he deeply sighs. You furrow your brows questioningly, glancing outside of your study rooms.
Jungkook isn’t working today, yet you find yourself looking for him all the same. 
“What’s wrong?” you ask Yoongi, pushing Jungkook away from your thoughts.
Even though every thought of him makes you warm inside, giddy like a teenager with a crush.
“Hobi,” Yoongi simply replies.
You purse your lips, picking up your water bottle to take a long sip as you search for something to say. You settle on, “You guys talked after the party?”
Yoongi nods. “Yeah.” He pauses, sighing deeply again before handing you his phone. “Just choose which burrito you want.”
You grab his phone, quickly choosing what you want to eat as he remains silent, typing away on his laptop. You’re aware he’s avoiding the question, but you have a feeling he needs to talk. It’s in the way he worries at some dry skin on his bottom lip, an anxious tell you recognize all too well for having it too.
“How did the conversation go?” you ask as he finishes up the order, putting his phone back down on the table.
“It went okay,” he admits, yet he looks defeated. You understand why when he adds, “He told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”
You widen your gaze. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Yoongi laughs bitterly, slightly shaking his head. “I feel blindsided. We were all happy before the party and now…” He shrugs vaguely, letting out a choked sound that almost passes as a chuckle. “It just came out of nowhere.”
“I’m really sorry…”
He shrugs again. “What can you do? I really just jumped in too fast without realizing that he was reluctant. I was stupid.”
“I don’t think you were stupid,” you say, trying to sound reassuring. “You’ve had feelings for him for a long time, and it felt like you were finally getting something in return. Anyone would have been blindsided.”
“I should have known when he insisted we take it slow and not share a room though,” Yoongi insists. “And though the sex was great there was a lot of stuff he was uncomfortable with. Not that I ever did anything without him wanting to do it but…” He wets his lips, glances your way before setting his gaze on his keyboard again. “I was his first guy.”
“Yeah, he told me,” you admit.
Pink dusts Yoongi’s cheeks, and you can tell he’s embarrassed by the turn of the conversation. So this time you don’t pry, letting him figure out what he wants to say next.
“I think he realized that he’s not into guys all that much,” Yoongi eventually says. “Like… he wanted to try it out and turns out it’s not as nice as he thought it’d be kinda thing, you know?”
You nod. “It sucks that it had to be with you though. You didn’t deserve that.”
Another shrug, like it’s all Yoongi knows to do right now. “Yeah, I guess.” He chuckles, a sad sound that makes you want to get up and hug him, though you know Yoongi’s not big on physical touch. “I don’t know if I should be mad or sad,” he admits a few seconds later.
“You’re allowed to be both.” He cocks an eyebrow as if not convinced. “I’m serious,” you insist. “You like him. Obviously, it’s going to hurt if he decides he doesn’t want to be with a guy. And obviously, you’re allowed to be mad too, because to you it can feel like he was leading you on.”
Yoongi meets your gaze. “Have you ever thought about becoming a therapist?”
His statement surprises you, and you laugh, scrunching up your nose. “No?”
“I think you’d be good,” Yoongi says. He sighs deeply again, picking up his phone. “Food’s on its way.”
You’re technically not allowed to eat at the library, so you end up eating on the steps outside when the food arrives, the fresh evening air welcoming after being stuck in a small, stuffy room for a couple of hours. Yoongi keeps pouring his heart out to you all along, as if he’d been holding everything in for too long, and the dam finally burst.
You’re happy to be there for him. Even though most of it is the same thing as at the party last week, you’re happy he’s comfortable enough to confide in you, and you try to cheer him up. 
“If you want,” you say after a time. “I could try to speak to Hobi. See what he really thinks about this all.”
Yoongi holds your gaze for a few seconds before looking away, his eyes shifting to the cloudy sky. “Nah, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he says. “I’ll just have to move on.”
You don’t know what to say to that, so you just nod. “Your choice. I’ll be here for you.”
He smiles, sighing. “I know. Thank you.”
On that note you return to your study room and to the lab report awaiting you. Yoongi busies himself with his composition as you work, and you finally finish taking care of the text for the results about half an hour later. Nabi said she’d do the discussion, so you send her the link, asking her to tell you if she wants you to fix anything, and then you close your laptop, folding your arms on top of it.
“Done?” Yoongi says, pushing his headset down so that it rests around his neck.
You nod, dropping your face on your arms. “And I’m dead.”
“When do finals start for you?” he asks.
“Next Tuesday,” you admit.
“Isn’t that early?” Yoongi asks, gaze widened in surprise.
It might be. You only have one then though, and you still have two weeks of classes in your other courses before the rest of your finals. You’ll still take it - it means one less final during the true final week.
You tell so to Yoongi, who admits he doesn’t have finals, instead having projects in three classes. It leads to a conversation where you compare biology to his music major, and another fifteen minutes go by in comfortable silence when the conversation dies of its own volition, as you scroll on your phone and Yoongi keeps on working on his music composition.
You startle when someone knocks on the door of the study room. You glance that way, eyes widening when you notice Jungkook on the other side. Yoongi lets out a small laugh at your expense, and you get up, opening the door for Jungkook. 
“What are you doing here?” you ask as he walks in, two coffees in hands. 
“Thought you might need this,” he says, offering you one.
You take it with an eyebrow cocked quizzically, and then you watch him as he drops in one of the empty chairs at the table. He’s got a backpack with him, and he pulls out a laptop and a notebook from it while you and Yoongi are just stunned silent.
“What are you doing?” you ask again as you sit back in your chair. 
“Figured I’d come study here with you guys,” he explains simply.
You glance at Yoongi, who shrugs.
“Oh?” you let out, settling your gaze back on Jungkook.
“Unless you guys don’t want me to?”
Yoongi saves you by replying, “No, you’re all good man. I was leaving anyway.”
He clearly wasn’t, as you’re the one who finished writing your report and he was still in the middle of his composition, yet he still gets up, closing his laptop and putting it in his backpack.
“Text me if there’s anything,” you tell him as he’s sliding one of the straps of his backpack on his shoulder.
His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, and he nods curtly. “Will do. Thanks for everything.”
You offer him a small smile, and then he’s walking out, not once looking back. 
“Did you really have to come here?” you ask Jungkook, and it sounds far more accusing than you meant it to be.
“What?” he lets out. “Just wanted to see what the hype is all about when it comes to the library.”
You offer him a no-bullshit look. “Were you jealous because I was studying alone with Yoongi?”
Jungkook frowns, a crease appearing between his eyebrows. His lips jut out in the hint of a pout, and something melts inside of you, like it always does when it comes to him.
“He’s the one that left the second I got here,” Jungkook points out.
“Because he’s going through a hard time, dumbass,” you say, punching Jungkook in the shoulder. 
He rubs at the spot, his pout intensifying, if that’s possible. “He still could have stayed, I wouldn’t have minded.”
Jungkook isn’t wrong, and though you really want to be there for Yoongi, you know he’s the kind of person that needs space a lot. Or at least that’s the impression he’s given you in general, and you really hope he didn’t leave because Jungkook showed up.
“I was done though,” you admit, patting your closed laptop. “I was thinking about heading home.”
Jungkook flicks your nose, taking you by surprise, and you sit back in your chair as you shriek. It earns you one of his bunny grins, and you truly are melting like snow in the sun. “Well then you’re going to have to stay with me for a little longer, mmh?”
You tilt your head to the side, though you can’t help the smile that tickles the corners of your lips. “And do what?”
“Study?” he sarcastically lets out. “Do whatever it is that you bio majors do.”
You end up doing so, rereading your notes for your first final. It’s boring, and you don’t think it’s really productive when Jeon Jungkook is sitting next to you, stealing quick glances in your direction. 
You catch him for what feels like the tenth time, and you roll your eyes. “Stop looking at me.”
“Why?”
“Because,” you offer as an explanation. “We should go home.”
He narrows his gaze at you. “Why?”
“People could see us here.” And go and tell Taehyung about it.
“I’ll handle Tae if he gets upset, don’t worry,” Jungkook tries to reassure you, but it does the opposite.
Indeed, a drop of lead forms in your stomach because, what if Taehyung learns?
You don’t want him to know. It’d complicate everything, ruin everything. 
“Besides,” Jungkook adds, “I’ll have to handle him in April anyway.”
You frown, a confused crease streaking across your brow. “Why?”
Jungkook meets your gaze. “I’m going to Paris with Jimin to see your brother at the end of the semester.”
Your heart starts racing in your chest, anxiety flooding your blood. “Oh?”
Jungkook toys with his piercings, scanning your features carefully. “Yeah. It’s been planned for a while.”
“You didn’t tell me.” You’re aware you once again sound accusing, but you can’t help it.
Not when you see the expiration date of your relationship with Jungkook flashing in your mind.
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “I just didn’t think to tell you? I thought I mentioned it when we Facetimed Tae the other day.”
You can’t blame him for not explicitly telling you - the trip has likely been planned for a while, and it’s not like you speak about your brother a lot. Though you mention him once in a while, you’ve both been good at avoiding talking about him. Now that he’s mentioned the Facetime call though, you do recall, and it’s like a hand is squeezing around your heart some more.
“No worries,” you say, and you offer him what you hope is a reassuring smile. “When do you leave?”
“April 29th, I think? I’ll check.”
You nod, and you look away from Jungkook to stare at your laptop instead, though your gaze loses its focus as your brother invades your thoughts. You think about what he’d say - you know he’ll be furious, and he’ll likely kick Jungkook out of your apartment. 
Jungkook will never be able to handle Taehyung. Not when he’s being an overbearing asshole like only he knows to do.
“Peach,” Jungkook says in a small voice that almost sounds whiny. “Why do you look so upset?”
“You can’t handle Tae,” you say. You worry at your bottom lip and then take a deep breath. “It’s really better if he doesn’t know.”
Jungkook remains silent for a few seconds, though he nods his head. “Okay.” He nods again, offering you a tight-lipped smile. “Do you want to head home then?”
“Yeah,” you answer without a beat of silence. “Yeah, I think we should go home.”
Jungkook’s gaze drops to his laptop, and you feel bad. You truly do - he looks defeated, much like Yoongi looked like earlier.
“Can we watch something when we get home though?” you quickly ask.
You can’t help it. You can’t stand the sight of Jungkook upset - it’s just wrong to you.
He immediately brightens, a small curving his lips upwards. “Yeah?” 
You nod. “Yeah, definitely. Should get some cuddles in too.”
His smile widens, and he meets your gaze, the usual mischievous twinkle back in the depths of his eyes. “Sounds like a plan.”
And it really is. You think, you don’t need more with Jungkook. You don’t need the relationship to change, don’t need anyone to know. Because it’s simple right now, and there’s beauty in its simplicity. 
Wednesday, March 27th
“Don’t!” you shriek, but Jungkook ignores you, stealing the TV remote from your hands.
“We’re not watching your reality TV show,” he says as he plops down on the couch into a lying position.
You glare at him, frowning as you fold your arms on your chest. “You like it.”
“Sometimes.” He flashes you a bunny grin that makes you gulp around a sudden lump in your throat. “But right now, I’m in the mood for a movie.”
You look up to the ceiling, searching for salvation yet finding none. “What movie?”
“Just come here,” he says, opening his arms for you.
You can’t resist. His gravity is too strong, and he pulls you in, like he’s the sun and you’re the comet. 
Though you might come from the Kuiper Belt, you know you’re bound to crash into him anyway.
Once you’re nestled in his arms, Jungkook resumes his scrolling on Netflix. 
“What about this?” he asks.
“Extraction?” you say as you eye the movie he stops on. “I’m not in the mood for action.”
“Then a romantic comedy it is.”
You chuckle against him, pecking the mole on his neck. He chooses the movie Always Be My Maybe, and then tightens his grip around you.
“I like that movie,” you say.
“You’ve seen it already?”
You reach for his hand before he’s able to change it. “Yeah, but I don’t mind,” you reassure him. 
He nods, and that’s how you end up watching the movie, slowly dozing off on his chest. You’re in and out of sleep, watching the bright screen whenever you wake up, and when the credits roll in, Jungkook yawns over you.
“Were you sleeping?” you ask, faking offence.
“You were,” Jungkook points out, flicking your nose as you raise your head to look at him. 
You move your face away, resting your head on the couch. “Barely.”
Jungkook cocks an eyebrow, and then you both burst out laughing. 
You like this. You like the intimacy of being with Jungkook in your own home, like that in between these walls you get to call him yours. It’s treacherous, but oh so inebriating, like he’s summer wine you’ve become addicted to.
Instead of watching another movie, Jungkook goes to his room to retrieve his speaker, and he puts a random playlist on while you fetch a rosé bottle from the fridge, where you’ve left it before watching the movie. You’d decided to spend the evening in despite both your friends and his friends asking to hang out, and so you’d gotten a bottle earlier today.
That, and the board game Ticket to Ride, your favourite board game.
“That’s not how it works,” you complain a while later, when you’re one glass in and Jungkook grabs a locomotive and wagon card from the five on the side.
“What?” he lets out.
“If you take a locomotive you can only take one card,” you remind him.
It’s his first time playing, and though the game is fairly simple, you’ve noticed Jungkook has a tendency to try and cheat his way to the win. You’re tempted to let him keep the two cards when he offers you puppy eyes, yet you stand your ground, holding your hand out.
“Give me the wagon back.”
“Take it from me,” he teases, lips stretching in a smirk.
“Oh, you want to play this way?” you reply in the same teasing tone, and Jungkook toys on his piercings.
“Maybe?”
You get up from where you’ve been sitting on the floor, walking to the other side of the coffee table. Jungkook watches you, an apprehensive yet excited look in his eyes, and he laughs the second you drop behind him, hands aiming for his sides.
He leans against you, his large frame almost enough to make you crumple to the floor, and you wrap your arms around him, holding him close.
“Give me the wagon,” you repeat.
“Or what?”
“Or I’m not playing the game anymore.”
He looks over his shoulder at you, a pout on his pink lips. “Okay then, take your wagon back.”
He gives it to you, and you smile victoriously before pecking his cheek. “Thank you.”
You walk back to your side of the table, though you stop halfway, eyes brightening.
“I love this song!” 
Jungkook leans back on his hands, tilting his head to the side as Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol starts playing.
It was your favourite song growing up. You used to listen to a different version of it you’d heard on Grey’s Anatomy, and you’d listen to it whenever you felt sad. Whenever you needed to feel like you weren’t alone in the universe, like someone was waiting for you, somewhere.
And as you look down at Jungkook while the lyrics start, you know someone was waiting all along.
“Sing it for me,” Jungkook says, smiling softly.
You can’t help the blush that creeps on your cheeks. “I don’t know how to sing. But you do!”
He chuckles, yet immediately starts singing as you offer him a hand to pull him up to his feet. He obliges, and he rests his large hands on your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him close. He sways you to the music as he softly sings, cheeks dusted in pink, and you pull him even closer, resting your head on his chest.
Simple intimacy. That is what you and Jeon Jungkook are made of, and you think, if he’d ask you to lay here, in this moment, you’d lie with him until eternity took you in its hold. Until you’d be nothing more than dust between the stars - remembrance of what was once great. 
But April is looming closer, a giant towering over the both of you, one step away from crushing you under its boot.
“You know,” Jungkook says while the song continues in the background.
“Mmh?” you let out, looking up to meet his gaze.
His eyes are heavy with emotions, and you swim in them, bathe in them. You feel complete, cherished, and you hope he knows you feel the same way.
You hope he knows you’ve been falling in love with him despite the odds.
“I’ve never been like this with anyone before,” he admits, his voice gentle. “I’ve had situationships, I guess, but nothing like us.”
You smile softly, your heart racing in your chest. “Me neither. You’re the first.”
It’s true. Though you’ve sort of dated Sam Hwang for a few weeks during the summer, it was nothing like it is with Jungkook.
Sam Hwang never looked at you the way that Jungkook looks at you.
Jungkook leans forward, resting his forehead against yours as he keeps on swaying you both to the music, the song nearing its last chorus. Your eyes flutter shut from the proximity, and your breaths mingle as you fall silent for a few seconds.
“I love having firsts with you,” he whispers.
You almost reply that you love him. The moment calls for it - the atmosphere is that of romance,  the music is close to your soul, and he… He’s the blood in your veins and the oxygen in your lungs. Yet you can’t say it - you’ve never told anyone you loved them before. And you’re not even sure you truly love him. Yes, you have feelings, but everything is overshadowed by the knowledge that you’re bound to end.
You don’t want to tell him you love him and make it too real only to have him slip from your fingers the second Taehyung learns.
“Me too,” you instead reply. “I love spending time with you.”
It’s as close to the truth as you’ll get, and he allows it, pressing a soft kiss on your lips. It’s slow, patient, like the whole universe will pause for you two. He pulls away when the song ends, bending to grab his phone on the table. 
He restarts the song, and the second his phone is back on the table again, you pull him back in, tiptoeing to kiss him again. He wraps his arm around your waist, holding you tight against him, and you sigh at the pillowy softness of his mouth, at the way his piercings feel just right pressing indents in your lip. His free hand cups your cheek, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss, tilting his head to the side.
His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, almost hesitantly, but you open up for him immediately, tasting the rosé in his mouth as he kisses you deeply, languidly. The kiss never accelerates, yet it’s infinitely passionate.
Much like that first kiss you’d exchange, during the power outage on Valentine’s Day.
You think you knew then - he’d kissed you so softly, like you were fragile, just a flower petal a second from being blown away. Even then, he’d cared for you, and it’d scared you.
But there’s nothing scary about this. There’s nothing scary about the way he gently hikes your shirt up to slide his hand underneath it, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your back, leaving goosebumps in their wake. There’s nothing scary about the way he sighs when you run your hands through his hair, gently tugging at the soft strands. There’s nothing scary about the way he backs you towards the couch, spinning around at the last second so that he can sit down.
There’s nothing scary about him pulling you in, always, so that you straddle his lap, connecting your mouths again a second later. No, it’s only natural. He’s the wind and you the leaves. He’s the sun that shines on you, his moon.
You were always meant to collide after all, and though the aftermath might be terrifying, all you can do right now is enjoy it while it lasts.
Jungkook tentatively grinds up, his arousal evident as he presses against your clothed self. You let out a breathy sound that makes him push his tongue in your mouth, and you suck on it, earning a grunt from him as his hands drop to your hips to drag you on him again. You grab at the hem of his shirt, disconnecting your mouths just long enough to pull the fabric off him, and then you’re kissing him again, crashing your lips on his hard enough that you think you taste blood, though you don’t care.
You just want him. Need him, so viscerally you think you’ll combust.
“Peach,” Jungkook lets out as you move to his neck. 
Unable to resist, you suck a hickey on him, a bright purple mark on the spot where his shoulder connects with his neck. He groans, leaning his head back against the couch to give you better access as you lick at the spot, soothing the sting.
When you straighten, Jungkook meets your gaze, his chest quickly going up and down. You’re just as out of breath as him, and when he reaches for the hem of your shirt, you let him take it off you, leaving you in only your black lace bralette. He looks at your breasts, cupping them in his large hands as he sighs appreciatively.
“Every time it’s like you get more beautiful,” he murmurs, and he looks up at you then, his eyes crinkled at the corners in what you can only call adoration. 
“Kook…”
His hands return to your waist, and he wets his lips, playing with his piercings. You grind against him, and his eyes immediately flutter shut.
“You think we can fuck out here?” you tease, rolling your hips.
“On the couch that your brother bought,” he replies, and there’s something so sinful about the thought that you know you’ll do it.
It’s not like Taehyung is around and will know.
So you bend forward, capturing Jungkook’s mouth in another languid kiss while you unbutton his pants. When the button comes undone, you straighten, standing between his legs so that you can pull the jeans down his legs. You leave the boxers on, eyeing his length as you kneel, hands resting on his thighs.
“Can I suck your dick?” you ask.
He chuckles. “Yes. But please be quick, I want to be buried inside of you.”
You narrow your gaze at him, but let out a laugh despite yourself. 
You focus on his dick again then, on the wet spot at the top where his purple underwear has turned darker. You bend forward, littering small kisses along his shaft, and you tentatively lick at the wet spot, the taste of his precum filling your mouth. And though you’d planned to tease him, to be the brat you know he likes, you give in right away, pulling his boxers down just enough so that you can lick at his slit.
He lets out a breathy sound that has you bite your lip as you look up at him through your lashes. He’s got his head thrown back, eyes closed, and from this angle, all you can see is his sharp jaw.
You pull his boxers down more, and he helps you by raising his ass for a few seconds. His dick springs free, already rock hard, and you immediately grab the base to hold it up as you finish taking off his boxers, letting them tangle around his ankles. You’re quick to lick a long stripe from between his balls up to the tip of his cock, and then you take him in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks around him.
He bucks his hips, fucking up into your mouth, and you moan when he hits the back, your eyes immediately watering. 
He lets you lead after that, hands lost in your hair as you bob your head up and down, working him closer to his high. You love the feel of him in your mouth, love the way he grunts and praises you under his breath, and you think you’d be able to come from just hearing him, pleasuring him. 
It doesn’t get to that though. When Jungkook truly nears his high, he pulls you away from his dick, and you meet his gaze to see his pupils are blown wide, filled with so much lust all you can do is obey when he says, “Go get a condom in my room, mmh?”
You nod, and you get up to walk towards his room, feeling his gaze burning on you as you pass the threshold and head to the night table. You pull a condom out, and you walk back to the living room to find Jungkook jerking himself off, his grip on his dick tight enough you know it has to hurt a little.
“Put it on for me,” he says, and he stops jerking off, holding his dick up for you. 
You sit next to him, pulling the condom out of the tinfoil package, and then you roll it on his dick. He hisses as you do so, but the second it’s on he pushes you back until you’re lying on the couch and he’s hovering over you. 
His hair falls in his eyes, and you quickly push the strands back. He leans in, pressing his lips on yours for a kiss far softer than what you expected, and you smile against him.
He grins when he pulls away, eyes shining with lust and adoration again, and then he’s taking off your pants, taking his sweet time. Kissing every inch of skin revealed, from your inner thigh to a spot below your knee. He stops after that, instead eyeing the wet spot on your underwear, and then he pulls at his piercings, sending you a dark look that makes you go molten.
“I want to fuck you in this,” he says as he finishes taking off your pants, his free hand going to your hip where he traces your underwear. “Want to ruin your panties.”
“Do it,” you challenge him.
He doesn’t need to hear more before he’s returning over you, and his hand pushes your panties to the side so that he can run a finger between your folds, and then circle your clit. You grind your hips, seeking more friction, but Jungkook doesn’t oblige, instead pulling his finger away from your pussy.
“Be patient,” he whispers, and then he kisses you again.
The kiss is feathersoft, gentle, and you lose yourself in the very essence of him. You don’t care - you just want this moment, forever. A scene constantly replaying, away from the atrocity of the world, with your favourite song as the background music.
“Please,” you beg in a soft murmur when he pulls away from your lips, and this time he obliges, returning his hand to your pussy. This time, he pushes in, and you sigh against him as your walls clench around his digit.
“You’re already so wet,” he says, and then he’s kissing you again, his tongue lapping at yours. 
You moan in his mouth, hands lightly scratching his back as he adds a second finger. You can hear squelching sounds between your legs, and you’d be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so good that you can’t form a single coherent thought.
“Fuck,” you curse, and Jungkook chuckles, pecking your cheek.
“You take my fingers so well, peach,” he praises. “Will you take my cock just as well?”
You moan again, and you nod your head yes. “Yeah. Please.”
He smirks, pulling his fingers out of you. You both eye them - they’re covered in your juices, and it’s decadent, sinful.
Even more so when Jungkook puts them in his mouth to clean them thoroughly, drinking in your juices. 
“So sweet,” he whispers after, and then he shifts, straightening between your legs so that he can align his dick with your entrance, your panties still pushed to the side. He meets your gaze, his own dark with lust. “How do you want me tonight?” he asks, rubbing his dick on you slowly.
“Just fuck me, but come near,” you say, pulling on one of his wrists so that he leans over you again. 
He smiles, infinitely soft despite what you’re doing, and then he pushes in, ever so slowly. Inch after inch, Jungkook spears you with his dick until he bottoms out. He stills there, and you wrap your legs around his dainty waist to keep him as close as possible. He obliges, stealing a deep kiss on your lips, and he slowly pulls out before slamming to the hilt again, and you moan in his mouth.
The rhythm he establishes is slow and steady. Deep, in a way that makes you see stars in his gaze. Or maybe that’s just the way the light reflects in his eyes, or the emotions still swirling in the depths of him. You don’t know. All that you know is that you’re falling and falling, with no chance to ever stop now.
You’ve crossed too many lines to ever be able to stop. So you’ll enjoy it while it lasts. Chase all the cars around his head until you can’t anymore, until the last nail is in the coffin and you have to say goodbye to this, to him.
But for now, you enjoy. And you enjoy as best as you can, eyes fluttering shut as he slightly picks up the pace, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You hold him close, arms and legs tight around him, and you moan as he makes love to you.
At least that’s what this feels like. And you wouldn’t want it any other way. You just want the warm proximity of his body on yours, of his lips kissing your mouth. Jungkook gives you all, and you hope he knows you’re giving all to him in return.
Everything. You’ll give him everything until you have nothing left to give, if he so takes it.
“Fuck, peach,” he whispers. He slows down his rhythm, meets your gaze. “I’m really in love with this pussy of yours.”
You know why he says it that way. Know exactly what he truly means but can’t say, and you take that too, keep it locked up in a safe corner of your heart.
“I know,” you whisper, cupping his cheek, and he rests his forehead on yours again.
“I’ll fuck you like this every day,” he says, and it sounds like a promise.
A promise that maybe you’ll make it past your brother’s return.
“Please do,” you beg, and then you’re kissing again, and he’s pounding into you harder, seeking completion for the both of you.
You come before him. Nails digging in his back while you arch yours, walls pulsing around him. That’s what sends him over the edge, and Jungkook climaxes, his head falling in the crook of your neck as he comes and comes.
He’d paint you white if it wasn’t for the condom, and the thought makes you grind your hips instinctively. He kisses your neck in retaliation, and you moan softly, tilting your head to give him better access.
When you’ve come down from the high, you glance towards the coffee table and your abandoned game of Ticket to Ride. The sight makes you laugh, and you press a soft kiss on the mole on Jungkook’s neck as he asks, “What’s got you laughing?”
“We never finished the game,” you remind him.
He lifts his head just enough to look at the coffee table. “Damn,” he lets out. “I totally forgot about that.”
You can’t blame him. When you’re together, you forget about everything, too - he becomes the center of your universe. And you wouldn’t want it any other way.
“Should we finish it?” you ask.
He meets your gaze, pecks your forehead once. “Shower first?”
You can’t say no to those big doe eyes, so you follow him to the bathroom.
And while he washes your back, you hear the clock ticking, your expiration date looming closer with every second that passes.
Saturday, April 13th
The movie theatre is packed. 
You’re waiting in line for popcorn with Nabi, Namjoon and Ria, while Seokjin, Hoseok and Yoongi go to the bathroom. The hall of the movie theatre is loud, and you’ve been standing in silence with your friends as you wait for your turn, though you’ve been eyeing the menu as you’re trying to decide what to order.
You settle on a medium-sized bag of popcorn to share with Yoongi, and Namjoon and Ria grab different candies and chocolate bars for themselves and your other friends. You’re walking towards your movie room when you notice an all-too recognizable tattooed boy, who stands taller than the group that surrounds him.
His eyes light up when he sees you, and he grins broadly as he waves at you.
Four pairs of eyes turn to look at you - Jimin, Sera, Lisa and Eunwoo - and you smile at them, though your gaze quickly shifts back to Jungkook.
You’d told him you were coming to the movies with your friends before going out for drinks. You’re not surprised he’s decided to pull up - despite everything you’ve told him, he’s jealous of your friendship with Yoongi. Which you reckon is funny - Yoongi is trying to fix things with Hoseok, and all you’ve been doing is offer help to him when he needs it.
You don’t think the relationship is fixable, but you haven’t had the strength to break it to Yoongi yet. Not when they had a moment last week, and he’s been far too happy about it since then.
You walk over to where Jungkook’s standing, your friends in tow. It’s hard to stop yourself from hugging him, but you manage to do it, instead greeting everyone and smiling at Jimin as he asks what movie you’re going to see.  
“Dune 2,” you reply. 
Jimin snorts, saying, “Thought so.”
It sounds ominous, and you slightly furrow your brows, glancing towards Jungkook. He only shrugs his shoulders as he purses his lips.
And that’s how you end up mixing friend groups for the movie. You’re not surprised when Jungkook manages to sit on your left - he’s clearly been scheming for this all along. Yoongi, entirely oblivious, sits on your right.
“I haven’t even seen the first movie,” Yoongi says as he leans towards you. He quickly glances further down the row, where Hoseok sat with Namjoon and Nabi.
Jungkook mirrors Yoongi, and he’s so close you catch a whiff of the detergent he uses to wash his clothes. “It was practically a walking simulator in the desert. Not much to miss.”
Yoongi nods, sitting back in his seat. He offers you a knowing look, and then turns towards Seokjin and Ria on his other side, joining whatever conversation they’re having. You purse your lips, before sliding your gaze back to Jungkook.
“What are you doing here?” you ask through gritted teeth.
“My friends wanted to see the movie,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “Thought we could go at the same time.”
You look up to the ceiling, though a smile is playing at the corners of your lips. “What a coincidence.”
He grins. “What a coincidence indeed.”
It makes you chuckle, and before you can say anything else, the light of the movie theatre dims, leaving you in only the glow of the screen as it comes to life.
You eat your popcorn as many movie trailers pass on the screen, Yoongi taking some once in a while. The movie starts when you’re halfway done with the bag, and soon you’re lost in the scenes, too focused to eat.
That’s when Jungkook strikes, stealing a handful of popcorn from your bag.
“Hey!” you whisper-shout, and he winks at you as he eats a mouthful of the snack. 
“What?” he whispers back once he’s swallowed.
“That’s mine.”
He flicks your nose, leaning closer to say directly in your ear, “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours, peach.”
You narrow your gaze. “You haven’t even bought any snacks.”
He shrugs. “I knew I’d steal yours.”
You roll your eyes, slightly shaking your head as you look back towards the screen, and he chuckles softly. Scenes flash in front of your eyes, and you get lost in the action. It might be an hour later, or just a few minutes, when Jungkook pokes your knee, attracting your attention.
You glance at him, but he’s focusing on the screen, his skin looking honey-like in the light. You furrow your brows in question, but when he doesn’t say anything, you shrug, looking back at the screen.
He does it again thirty seconds later, and this time he’s stifling a laugh when you glance at him.
“What do you want?” you whisper as you lean closer to him.
“You,” he replies simply, his eyes darkening as he meets your gaze.
You gulp. “We’re in the middle of a movie theatre with all of our friends.”
“I know,” he says, shrugging. “I’ve just been thinking of how you feel around my…”
You punch his shoulder before he can finish his sentence, and Lisa throws you a look that makes you sit back in your seat, folding your arms on your chest.
“Just focus on the movie, Kook,” you mumble.
He chuckles again, but before he can say anything else, Lisa nudges him. He glances at her, leaning closer when she whispers something you can’t quite hear. 
His whole demeanour changes after that, and he sits back in his chair, a slight pout on his lips. Gone is the playfulness, but you think it’s safer that way. He’s way too obvious when you’re in public, and though Taehyung still hasn’t said a thing, you know it’s bound to explode in your face soon.
Jungkook is leaving for Paris in just a few weeks after all. 
It douses you, and you finish watching the movie with a lump in your throat, one that doesn’t disappear even when you’re at the bar later, your friend group mixing with Jungkook’s far too easily. Of course, Jungkook notices, and he sits next to you, nudging you.
You glance at him, noticing the concern in his eyes.
“Is something wrong?” he asks.
“No,” you lie, but he sees through it immediately.
“Is it your cramps?”
You’re on your period. Obviously, he knows, and he’s been sweet about it, buying you snacks and putting his hands, always warm, on your lower stomach while you cuddle. 
You purse your lips, shaking your head. The concern doesn’t disappear from his features though, and you feel bad. Enough so that you say, “I’m just…”
You trail off as Lisa appears, sitting on the other side of Jungkook with two beers in hand. She gives one to Jungkook, who thanks her quickly before setting his gaze on you again. Yet she lingers, and you find yourself unable to speak, shrugging your shoulders.
“If there’s anything, just let me know,” Jungkook says, and he offers you a small smile that does nothing to tame the worry in his gaze. “I don’t mind heading home earlier.”
You nod once, and the conversation dies as Hoseok appears on the other side of the table, cheeks red with the shots he’s already downed.
“Not drinking tonight?” he asks you.
You shrug. “Not really in the mood.”
Hoseok narrows his gaze in his suspicion. “I’ve never seen you not in the mood to drink.”
You chuckle. “Well, now you have.”
You’re relieved when he lets it go, especially as you sensed Jungkook tensing by your side, an indication that he was going to intervene if Hoseok didn’t drop it. There’s a short silence, during which you notice Hoseok looking at Yoongi where he’s drinking with Namjoon and Seokjin, a few tables over.
You glance at Jungkook, motioning towards Hoseok. Jungkook frowns, not understanding, and you quickly pull out your phone to text him.
[10:37 pm] You: i want to talk to hobi about yoongi but not in front of you guys
Jungkook pulls out his phone to read your message. He doesn’t reply, yet he nods, turning towards Lisa. “Where are Sera and Jimin?”
“Ordering something at the bar,” Lisa replies, entirely unaware. “Why?”
“Want shots?”
Lisa beams under Jungkook’s gaze, and you taste bile in your mouth as they get up and walk away together, Jungkook shooting you a quick glance over his shoulder.
You can complain all you want about Jungkook being jealous of Yoongi, but you’re just as jealous of Lisa after all.
“What’s up with you and Yoongi?” you ask when they’re out of earshot, gaining Hoseok’s attention.
“Man…” he trails off. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel.”
“Is that why you’ve decided to switch universities?” 
You’ve been asking yourself that question for weeks, but Hoseok has been good at avoiding you, clearly realizing that you’ve grown closer to Yoongi.
Hoseok widens his gaze, and the blush on his cheeks deepens. “No? I said it’s because I’m following a professor.”
“What professor?” you ask, cocking an eyebrow.
Hoseok shrugs, his eyes dropping to a knot in the wood of the table. “Why do you care?”
“You’re my friend,” you remind him. “No matter the history that we have. I’d be sad to see you go.”
He chuckles, and it’s a lot more bitter than you ever expected to hear him. “Listen, I don’t really want to be questioned. Is Yoongi the one that asked you to ask me this?”
“No,” you say. “Not at all. I’m just worried about you.”
“About me?” he repeats. “I’m all good, Y/n.”
He doesn’t sound convincing at all, so you say, “Just make sure you don’t do something you’ll regret.”
“I already did,” he admits, and his glance towards Yoongi is far too telling. “I’m not into him like that. I don’t even know if I’m into men like that.”
“Have you told him?” 
He shrugs. “Here and there. I think he knows.”
You think so too, as Yoongi had mentioned it when you’d studied together a few weeks ago. 
“Just make sure you’re honest with him, and honest with yourself,” you say after a few beats of silence.
Hoseok purses his lips, nodding once. “Will do.”
The air turns awkward as Hoseok just keeps on staring at the knot in the wood. You feel bad - you used to be a lot closer to him, and in just a few weeks, your relationship shifted. But you think it might be for the better - you can’t imagine how Jungkook would feel if you were close to someone you used to sleep with, considering he’s jealous of a friend you’ve never done anything with.
Not that that would stop you from being friends with someone. Especially not when April 29th is coming soon, and with it, your situationship - you’re not sure you can call it a relationship - will end. 
“Where are you moving?” you ask.
“San Diego,” he replies quickly, and a shy smile appears on his lips, like the thought excites him. “I can’t wait to not have to deal with winter anymore.”
“I can imagine,” you say, chuckling. “Though winter wasn’t too bad this year.”
“If there was an inch of snow then it was bad.” He says it wisely, and this time you laugh as he breaks into a smile.
The conversation is easier after that. Still heavy, because you both know the friendship likely won’t survive the distance, but you still manage to have fun as you speak about classes, about life, and about what he’ll do once he’s in California. Half an hour passes like that, and then you move to the bar, agreeing to grab a single drink.
You settle on an Amaretto Sour, and Ria and Nabi join you at the bar. You end up doing Lychee bombs with them, and then you follow them all back to the table where the rest of your friends are, along with Jimin, Sera and Jungkook.
You’re relieved to see Lisa isn’t there. Not that she’s not nice. She always is, despite her obvious attraction towards Jungkook. And though she clearly senses that something’s happening between you and Jungkook, she’s never said anything, and you respect her for it.
You sit between Nabi and Ria, and Nabi quickly melts against Namjoon next to her. You snort at the sight, turning to say it to Ria, who seems to be in a staring contest with Seokjin across the table.
You don’t really know what’s happening between the two. Ria mentioned that she’s not interested in him, saying he’s just gotten out of a relatively long relationship, and you’re not close enough to Seokjin to know his opinion.
You’re just observant, and you know just how much the air fills with electricity when these two are concerned. Lightning is bound to strike at some point, and you just hope it does so without hurting anyone.
You wonder, is that how the people around you perceive you and Jungkook?
The evening unfolds, calmer than your usual outings - you find yourself going home just a little after midnight. Jungkook’s with you, and he unlocks the door as you slowly walk up the stairs, shooting you a glance.
“You sure everything’s okay?” he asks as you finally reach the top.
You purse your lips, meeting his gaze. The streetlight down the stairs reflects in his gaze, and he looks angelic, innocent like this.
“Yeah, I’m just…” you trail off. “You’re leaving soon.”
His features soften, and he opens the door for you to walk in, following behind you. “I know,” he says once he’s shut the door.
You turn the lights on, meeting his gaze. Unable to help yourself, you cup his cheek, thumb swiping at his skin. “Want to share a bed tonight?” you ask.
As if you haven’t been sharing a bed for weeks already.
“Yes, of course,” he immediately agrees, and he covers your hand with his own, tugging you closer. “If you kiss me first.”
That makes you smile, like only he knows to do, and you tiptoe, pressing your lips on his in a featherlike peck.
“That doesn’t count,” he complains, lips jutting out in a small pout.
“Then kiss me,” you challenge. “Kiss me stupid.”
You don’t need to ask twice - he closes the distance between your mouths, lips ravaging yours, and you lose your hands in his hair.
Later, after you’ve sucked his dick in the shower - you don’t like having sex on your period, but you still wanted to make him feel good - you lie down in your bed, the fairy lights making the atmosphere far gentler than it should be.
It’s treacherous, and you lie with your head on Jungkook’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Chasing Cars is playing on his speaker, and you hold him tighter, putting all of your love in the act. He kisses the top of your head, mouth lingering against you.
“I’m happy you came tonight,” you admit. Indeed, despite the anxiety of Taehyung learning, you like hanging out with Jungkook. Like spending as much time as possible with him right now - the clock is ticking after all, and the sound resembles that of a bomb about to go off.
“Me too,” he whispers. 
You lift your head, meeting his gaze. “Have you talked to Taehyung recently?” 
The question takes him aback, and his eyebrows knit together. “I speak to him almost every day, why?”
Because you’ve been avoiding your brother like the plague. Because you know the second you speak to Taehyung, you’ll blurt out the truth, and you’re not ready to face his reaction yet.
You doubt you’ll ever be ready.
“How is he and the girl doing?” you ask. “Ariane?”
“Good,” Jungkook answers. “They’re pretty much official now.”
Your lips stretch in a thin line, and you rest your head on his chest again. 
You don’t want him to see the jealousy in your gaze.
“Good for him.” It sounds just as flat as you feel - like a tire pierced with a nail, emptied of all air.
Jungkook must feel it too, because his grip around you tightens, like he’s trying to fuse your bodies together. As if it’d save you from the looming heartbreak.
“We’ll figure it out,” Jungkook whispers a while later, when you thought he was asleep. 
You hope he doesn’t take your silence personal - you just don’t think you can figure it out.
Taehyung would never let it happen. So silence is what you offer Jungkook, and you wonder if the beat his heart skips is an indication that he’s breaking, much like you are breaking too.
Sunday, April 28th 
Time goes by fast. Sometimes, you think it’s even faster when you’re trying to hold on to something - like sand slipping through the fingers of a fist held tight, time has been slipping away.
The end is near. 
You’re sitting on Jungkook’s bed, watching him as he packs his suitcase. He’s been lazy, stopping often so that he can kiss you, hold you. He’s been clingy lately, much like you’ve been.
Like you’ve been trying to fit a whole relationship in just a few weeks. 
Jungkook lifts his head from his sock drawer, meeting your gaze. He smiles, but there’s sadness behind his pupils, lurking in the depths of his eyes. You want to take it away, but all you manage to do is smile a weak smile.
“I wonder if they’ll want to go to the Catacombs,” Jungkook says.
He’s been saying random stuff once in a while as he packs, grasping for a conversation you haven’t been able to join in. But you try, you always try, and you know he’s not mad at you for it.
Jungkook could never be mad at you. 
It’s strange how he changed in the last four months. You think back on the Incident, that dreaded Incident you had believed to be the most embarrassing thing in your life. Today, you know it wasn’t. It was the start of something great, something you wish never had an expiration date.
But nothing gold can stay, or so they say.
“I bet they’re creepy,” you answer. “Not sure I’d go if I were you.”
“I assume you’re the kind of person who gets scared while watching horror movies too, huh?” Jungkook teases, and he walks towards you, hands full of socks.
He drops them in the suitcase at your feet as you slightly shake your head, a teasing smirk growing on your lips. You doubt it meets your eyes, but it’s the best you can do.
“Says you, who prefers watching romance over action,” you tease.
Indeed, the first few times you’ve watched movies together, he’s suggested going for action first. But he never once appeared disappointed when you chose a romance movie, instead beaming at you as he nodded enthusiastically. It was adorable, endearing, like everything is when it comes to Jungkook.
You can hardly believe he used to sleep around, used to be the most renowned fuckboy in your college. Nowadays, Jungkook appears more like a hopeless romantic, and it’s easy to figure out why.
As someone who never received love from his family, he’s been craving it his whole life. At least you think so, and you’ve been giving it to him, pouring it to him, by actions rather than words.
“Nothing beats romance,” he declares, and you chuckle as he plops down on the bed next to you.
You turn your head towards him as he lies down, one hand on his chest.
“Is that why you cry in every movie?”
He frowns, a pout adorning his lips. “I don’t.”
You cock an eyebrow, because obviously he does, and you both burst out laughing at the same time. 
No matter how dreaded the circumstances are, the chemistry between you and Jeon Jungkook is undeniable. And as you look at him, you wonder if there’s a universe out there where you’re allowed to be with him. Where older brothers aren’t a thing, and where you get to call him yours, to scream it from the rooftops.
It douses your enthusiasm, and your smile falls as you look away. 
Jungkook sits up, cupping your cheek to force you to look at him again. He scans your features for a few seconds, and you stare at his eyebrow piercing, as if that will keep you from crumbling.
“You know…” he lets out. He sucks on his lower lip piercings, pulling at them so hard you think it has to hurt. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “I really want to make us work.”
His simple sentence empties everything in your head, in your soul, until there’s just him left. 
“But how?”
“I’ll speak to Taehyung,” he says, for what has to be the thousandth time. Indeed, you’ve had that conversation before, but you never once agreed. “I’ll speak to him in Paris, and then when I come back this doesn’t have to be over.”
“This?” you repeat.
“Us.”
You sigh, and you look between his eyes. Hope lights his gaze, and you think there has to be a museum out there to exhibit such beauty. 
Jungkook is breathtaking in every way that matters.
“Tae will kill you,��� you say, and the hope slowly withers like flowers in the fall. “Try to have a nice trip instead.”
“Then we can talk to him when I come back,” Jungkook suggests. “Together. I can use you as a human shield if he tries to kill me.”
You snort, and the hope reignites in his gaze. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“Then he’ll be mad,” Jungkook simply states. “I don’t want to lose you, peach.”
Fuck. You’re in love, and you’re in love deep.
“You might lose his friendship,” you say, but your resolve is melting away far quicker than you expected. Because he’s offering you a silver lining, a life vest in the storm that’s been raging inside your head for weeks.
“I honestly don’t care,” Jungkook says, but you see it in his eyes: he cares, and he’d be hurt. “I’m sure he’ll get over it.”
You highly doubt so but… what if he does? What if he forgives Jungkook, forgives you?
Then you wouldn’t need to travel to another universe. You’d have this one, and you’d have Jungkook.
Maybe you should try.
“Are you sure?” you ask, voice smaller than the atoms holding your body together.
He nods vehemently. “I am. 100%. I don’t want to lose you when we’ve barely just started.”
“Kook…”
He kisses you then, as if he needs to show you with action instead of words. You end up tangled in his bed, your bodies connected on a level deeper than the physical, yet you wouldn’t dare say it. And he doesn’t either, not even when you inevitably go to bed later that evening. 
You’re nestled in his embrace, a few minutes after he’s turned his LED lights off, when you say, “Kook?”
“Mmh?”
“Don’t talk to Tae in Paris,” you say. “We’ll wait for you to come back. And we’ll talk to him together.”
“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay. If that’s your wish, then I can do it.” He’d said so earlier after all.
You nod. “I think it’s better if it comes from us both instead of just you.”
“Makes sense.” Jungkook kisses your forehead, and a soft smile spreads on your lips. “And peach?”
“Yeah?” you murmur.
“If you miss me too much, feel free to sleep in my bed and wear my clothes, okay?”
“Okay.”
He kisses your forehead again, and despite the words exchanged, you fear it might mean goodbye.
Prev | Chapter 10.5 | Next
☆☆☆☆☆
no but why did I forget how sad this chapter was? Help, they are so afraid to lose each other :') anywayyys what did you guys think about this chapter? Did you like it?? Please let me know:)
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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poguelandiarafe · 10 days ago
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broken promises 3 | rafe cameron
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pairing - rafe cameron x female reader
warnings - angst, mature language, mentions of infidelity
summary - rafe finds you on the beach and begs for forgiveness but your pain is too raw to think about forgiving him. he's promising to do better for you and the baby but you reject his apologies, leaving him alone in the sand.
(sorry the last two chapters are so short, i'm trying to figure out which direction to take the series in. please please please (hey sabrina) message me or comment your thoughts and ideas!)
not a one-shot, read part one and part two here <3
masterlist
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“leave me alone, rafe. i don’t want to talk to you.”
you're impressed with yourself, nearly expecting your arms to automatically open wide and accept him back just like that. but they don't, they stay firmly wrapped around yourself and as much as it pains you to realise, you don't want them around him anymore.
rafe runs a hand over his head, a frustrated sigh falling past his lips. he's been driving for hours and you won't even give him the time of day. taking cautious steps, he slowly approaches you until he's standing in front of you.
when you don't react, he kneels down in front of you and places a hesitant hand on your hip. his fingers barely graze your skin before you're quick to grab his hand and throw it off you. the feeling of his skin on yours is too much for you to handle. though your heart and body yearns to be wrapped up in his arms again, your mind is just about strong enough to not allow it to happen.
"let me explain, baby, please." he begs, his voice cracking.
"i said leave me alone," you sigh, yet you can feel your anger bubbling just beneath the surface, "there's nothing to explain."
you already know what he'll say - pathetic excuses and apologies about how much he messed up and that he regrets it. words you can't let yourself be fooled by.
rafe's shoulders sag as the words reach his ears. his hand slowly raises to grab your hip before he drops it back to his side in defeat. he's never felt so helpless before and he hates it. having you so close yet completely out of reach makes his heart ache in a way he never thought possible.
"you don't mean that, we can't end it like this," he whispers, voice thick with emotion as he looks up at you through wet lashes, "there must be something i can do. i'll do anything. i'll wait for you, i'll give you space. i'll do it for you and for our baby. i promise, y/n."
you refuse to look at him, instead keeping your eyes fixed on the ocean, willing yourself not to cry. his stare is burning into your skin and the faintest trace of forgiveness he's looking for from you is nowhere to be seen.
rafe stays kneeling in front of you, never taking his eyes off your face, searching for a crack in your amour. he's trying to maintain his composure, but his breathing is laboured and he's desperately blinking away the tears that blur his vision.
"no. i mean it, rafe. i need you to leave me alone." you say firmly, the words sharp, "i don't want you to wait. i won't stop you from being involved with the baby, but i don't want you to wait for me because i can't be with you anymore. i can't forgive you."
every part of you screams to walk away and never look back, to let him face the consequences of his actions alone. however, your feet remain rooted to the spot, as if a part of you is silently willing rafe to beg harder to fix this, even though you know it wouldn't change anything.
"you don't mean that," he says softly, "you still love me, i know you do. please, just tell me what to do to fix this."
"you shouldn't have to ask me how to fix this. and i do still love you," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper, "but i don't trust you, rafe. you've made your bed. now, lie in it."
for a split second, you think he's going to argue. his lips part to say something but the words never make it past them. so, before you can change your mind, you turn on your heel and quickly walk over to your car, each step feeling heavier than the last. you don't look back, even when you hear him choke out a broken plea. behind you, rafe stays kneeling in the sand, watching as you walk further and further out of his life.
once you reach the car, you let out a trembling breath and attempt to compose yourself. sliding into the driver's seat, the jagged edges of your keys dig into your palm and you squeeze them tighter, as if turning your emotional pain into physical pain will somehow help. for a moment, you just sit and stare, the weight of the day's events crashing down on you.
a few minutes pass before you start the car, and the last thing you see before driving off is rafe sitting in the sand with his head in his hands and knees pulled up to his chest. the thought of going back crosses your mind and you force yourself to look away, to focus on the road instead. you don't know where you're going, only that you can't go home.
taglist: @hellothere7 @faephoria @xcinnamonmalfoyx @samwinchesterisawhore @alyisdead @maybankslover @vdotcom @kundaquarius @lil-sparklqueen @flvredcas @esquivelbianca @pillowprincess4him @mariadu2 @suyqa @sexy123s-s @inmyowndefender @dreamygirli3 @aesthetic-lyss @gorgeouscgirl
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pomefioredove · 8 months ago
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Hiya! Do you think you could write something romantic and fluffy with Vil? I love him!
hi anon of course! I am so unwell about this man
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summary: being friends with vil schoenheit has its perks type of post: fic characters: vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, FLUFFY, mentions of food, friends to lovers huhuhu, maybe a tiny bit suggestive but also not really? lap-sitting and kissing
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Someone should write a guide on how to be friends with Vil Schoenheit.
It did not come as naturally to you as you would have hoped. There were times when he felt like a star in your presence, not the actor kind, but the heavenly body.
Bright, and burning, and millions of miles away. Even as he sat directly across from you.
"You're not eating," he remarks. The comment is not degrading, though it is tinged with curiosity. "Is it bad?"
You haven't even sampled the meal yet- something fancy and expensive that you likely couldn't pronounce. He'd ordered it for you.
"It's okay," you lie.
He either buys your excuse, or ignores it. Either way, he reaches across the gossamer table cloth and switches your plates without asking.
Vil Schoenheit Friendship Survival Manual, rule number one: always assume his judgment is correct, until proven otherwise.
You look down at the plate- some kind of vegetable dish. He urges you on with a nod, lilac eyes fixed firmly on your pleasantly surprised reaction when you take a bite.
Rule number two: his judgment is always correct.
"Better?" he asks, not bothering to finish your food. He'll likely get something else later. "You really shouldn't skip meals. If you were feeling unwell, you should have said so. I would've ordered something lighter for you."
"Sorry. Didn't think of it," you say, taking another bite of his meal, if only to appease him.
You're hesitant to mention that the heavy feeling in your chest wasn't from illness, and so you say nothing more.
"No need to apologize. Here,"
Vil delicately reaches across the table and dabs at the corner of your mouth with his napkin. You hate how light-headed such a simple action makes you feel.
"Better. And don't worry about smudging anything, I have a few new products I'd like to try out on you later,"
Rule number three: always accept his gifts.
"Thanks," you murmur.
You were starting to feel as if you really were ill, the way your entire body warmed in his presence. Vil brought out a feverish sort of stupidity in you that made outings like this a minefield to navigate.
How painfully cliché, you thought. Hopelessly in love with someone far out of your league, with infinite options, none of which you could even hope to catch up to...
It made these evenings together pure torture.
You felt guilty for wishing he wasn't such an amazing friend. Must he insist on showering you in gifts and holding your hand every time you cross the street?
But being in his bedroom is another, dirtier realm of guilt. Vil saw you as a friend. Platonic. Someone he confided in, who he took under his wing. You were allowed to see parts of him no one else had, and yet, you can hardly pay attention to what he's saying because you can't stop thinking about the way his lips look when he speaks.
"Did you understand any of that?" he asks, bending down to your level as you sit on his bed. On his bed. And you had the mind to be thinking about doing romantic things...
Rule number four: speak when spoken to.
"No, sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind lately,"
Vil clicks his tongue and holds a hand to your forehead, feeling for temperature. "And you're sure you're not ill?"
"I'm fine! Just distracted,"
He chuckles, walking across the room to peruse his vanity. "Hm... and what sort of thoughts have got you scatterbrained today?"
You can feel your skin burning again. He could tell, couldn't he? All these weeks of coming undone every time he so much as looks your way couldn't have gone over his head... could they?
Or perhaps he was just used to people staring at him, stumbling over their words every time he spoke. Perhaps you were just another foolish fan who'd gotten to know him before falling in love.
You couldn't help but wish that there was someone or something that would just tell you what to do.
Rule number five: do not fall in love with him.
Vil sits beside you, a small, wooden box in hand.
"I'm supposed to promote these next weekend, but I'm not sure about them, yet," he says, opening the lid to reveal a plethora of lipsticks that likely cost more than your existence. "I'll need your opinion, of course."
"Right," you murmur.
"And I'd like to try them on you, as well,"
"Of course,"
"And you're alright with that?"
You nod. Ever the gentleman, always asking for permission. He's been quite generous with his products lately, giving them away to you like candy. You're almost certain he has a full list of your allergens somewhere.
Vil returns to the vanity, delicately prepping, and then applying the first shade. It's a marvelous, metallic pink, with dark red undertones that make it a regal color. It suits him, and you say as much.
"Oh, you think so? I suppose it does compliment my eyes, although I'd definitely need to pair it with something darker, else it become too overpowering..."
He clicks his tongue, and then turns to look over his shoulder at you.
"Your turn. Come sit,"
There isn't another chair at the vanity, and you take that as your cue to awkwardly stand in front of him until he tells you what to do. He chuckles, amused by some thought of his that he doesn't share aloud.
"What are you standing there for? Sit,"
You awkwardly look around the space, eyes searching for a mysteriously hidden stool, something that should have been obvious...
He smiles. "Oh, don't be shy. We've known each other long enough by now, haven't we?"
You can't think of the right thing to ask, although your thoughts are quickly cut off by the sight of him gently patting his lap.
Sevens. If there were any time to wake up, this was it.
Rule number five: do not fall in love with him.
He's not joking, of course. Vil hardly jokes. And so, you awkwardly straddle his lap, facing towards him, and allow him to get a good look at your visage.
He holds your chin firmly, studying your features as if he hasn't already seen them a thousand times before.
"Stay still,"
He's going to give you a heart attack, and there's a little quirk in his smile that tells you he knows it, too.
You wonder what your tag at the morgue will say. Death by Vil Schoenheit?
He starts with your skin, commenting on how soft it's gotten since he met you, then your eyes...
...Once he's satisfied, as he always is with his work, he turns your head so you can admire the makeup look in the mirror behind you.
"Stunning," he comments. "But you're missing something."
You look back, eyes wide. Surely, he hadn't forgotten something...? That's simply not in his nature.
He smiles at your confusion. "Remember? You promised to test these for me?"
Right. The lipstick. You nod. "Yes, but, I thought you'd already..."
"Oh, I do like the color. I'm just worried about this brand," Vil says. He looks away for a moment, almost as if to summon his courage... what a strange expression on him.
"What's wrong with the brand?"
He turns back with a small smirk. "They have a nasty reputation for smudging easily. I wouldn't want to make a fool of myself next weekend, hm?"
His cups your chin again, bringing you closer.
Rule number five: do not fall in love with him!
He tilts his head to the side. "You don't mind, do you?"
You couldn't have shaken your head any faster, even with his grip on your chin.
"Good. Now, stay still. I think this will be a good color on you, anyway,"
He pulls you in with ease, letting his lips rest on yours for a second or two, before pulling back. Short but sweet, enough to make you feel like your entire body has gone numb.
He inspects your face, humming to himself...
"Good so far," he says, bringing you closer again. "But that was too safe. I won't hold back next time. Are you ready?"
You nod. Barely anything had happened, and you're already breathless. "Ready,"
Another smile crosses his perfect face, though he doesn't give you any time to admire it before he's kissing you again, one hand still cupping your face, the other holding the back of your neck and pressing you closer.
Definitely not a very platonic kiss.
It takes him longer to pull away this time, though when he does, it gives you a perfect view of his still-pristine makeup.
"Hmm... still nothing. I'm quite impressed with this line," he says, reaching behind you and returning with the wooden box. "How do you feel?"
Dizzy. Light-headed. Warm.
"Good," you say.
Rule number five: do not fall in love with him.
Or do.
"Not too much, I hope?"
A delightful realization was beginning to come over you, one that made all you had thought about him null and void:
No one else could possibly give you a guide on Vil Schoenheit, because he writes the rules himself.
"No. That was perfect,"
"Excellent," he smiles, and flips the box open again. "Because we still have six more colors to test."
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ultimate-shipper-blog · 20 days ago
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How was I not supposed to love you?
“Are you dating yet?” Robin grabs at his sleeve.
“SHHHH” Steve’s eyes are panicked.
Robin rolls her eyes at him “Whatever it’s fine.”
“It is not fine!! He doesn’t even like me like that.”
“…he was just sitting on your lap.”
“And?”
Eddie peeks his head around the kitchen corner “Are you guys talking about me?”
“No!” Steve panics “Why? What’s up?”
“Are you ready to go?”
Steve exhales, “Sure, let’s go.”
He leads Eddie out reaching his hand behind him. He and Eddie have grown closer over the years since Vecna. They’ve definitely become comfortable touching which is why Steve is surprised when Eddie pulls his hand back.
“I don’t feel like holding hands,” Eddie grumbles.
Oh…
“What were you talking about? In the kitchen?”
“Nothing just work problems”
“Really.” Eddie sneers at him.
“Why would I lie about that?” Steve puts on his best puppy dog eyes hoping the conversation will end.
“Maybe I embarrass you.” He tilts his head to the side staring at the full moon above him.
“What?! They’re obviously ok with you and they know how I feel about you. Do you know how many times people asked me tonight if we were dating?”
Eddie’s eyes grow wide “Why?!”
“Eds you sat on me the entire time.” Steve deadpans.
“Why!? Sitting on laps is not gay.”
“It definitely is.”
“Well it’s not and we wouldn’t be dating anyway.” Eddie huffs and crosses his arms.
“We wouldn’t?” Steve feels his heart shatter.
“Of course not! We’re friends!”
“Why do you say it like that.” Steve says quietly.
“Like what?” Eddie looks at him confused.
“Like I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.”
Eddie’s mouth forms a little o before it settles into a deep frown.
“…don’t say that”
“Why not!” Steve argues. “We tell each other we love each other all the time-”
“As friends! Platonically!!!”
“You care about me more than anyone else. I know you think I’m attractive that’s not an issue. I know you’re not straight so why not? You notice when I bite my nails, when I haven’t eaten. You claim you don’t care for me but you’re glued to my side. You grab for me in your sleep. You want me to introduce you to my family. You want to live together because spending the night isn’t enough. You call me just to tell me you miss me. How was I supposed to not fall in love with you.” Steve tries to pull him closer but Eddie pushes away.
“You don’t love me you like the attention.”
“No,” Steve said sternly. Trying to convey every emotion he’s felt for Eddie in that one word. “You’re wrong.”
“But…” Eddie’s big eyes were watery with tears. Confusion apparent in his features, “We’re friends…”
—————-
Hate to say it but…inspired (almost word for word) by a conversation I just had….
Yes I’m the Steve in this situation.
As always I pour all my thoughts and emotions into my writing.
Will be going back to writing my happy steddie fics when I’m over this.
Sorry for the rushed job :P (and the pity party)
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jayniks · 6 months ago
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SEX NOTE (p.js)
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after summoning heeseung, you wandered around your room looking for any ideas. Seeing your poster of your favorite band, you thought "why not invoke the guitarist?" and that's what you did, although the situation was quickly reversed when you saw how malicious he was.
WC . 2,3k
PAIRING . Shinigami!jay x fan!reader
WARNINGS . smut (mdni), oral sex (m receiving), tease, anal sex, mouth fucking, a little cuck!jake?, mentions of Jake's mom and Jake himself, magical appearance, chocking, a little filler just like in the original series, degradation, tying, unreal themes, a bit of noncon?, squirt, curses, let me know if I left something out.
< go back . next chapter >
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Let's forget about that awkward interaction with Jake and let's talk about you, although let's not let pass that you avoided each other for 2 days in a row, what matters is that now you two are talking. About what? I don't know, he mentioned something about a trip to Australia for a week to see his family but you weren't paying much attention, you were aware that he was probably abandoning you to avoid any more awkwardness, after all, no one would act nice after listening to his best friend that he knew since he was 3, who helped her in her worst moments, fucking they favorite idol NEXT to his room.
"Dummy, are you even listening to me?" Jake asked in a somewhat tired tone. His words brought you out of your trance and you just nodded, "really? summarize what I said" he looked at you seriously. "Um, are you going on a trip home?" You exclaimed without much confidence, maybe you should have listened to him but you felt physically and mentally exhausted after that night in which a magical book fulfilled your fantasy. "Oh yeah? And why?" He looked at you again with those judging eyes, God, how you hated him. "I don't know," you admitted, already imagining the scolding that awaited you. "I'm going to Australia to see my family, I'll only be gone for 5 days, please don't come into my room, take care of the apartment" he warned you, you knew it was better to listen to him.
"Yes Jakey, I understand, please send my regards to your mom-" you didn't finish the sentence because you were interrupted by your friend, "No, you're going to take her away from me, it seems like she loves you more than me," and with that lie he left the dining room to go pack his bags in his own room. Within hours, you were at the door hugging goodbye, after all, you didn't hate him that much. The house was desolate, you felt more alone than ever.... it's good that you had the book to help you. It was a little selfish and self-centered that you cared more about the book than your own best friend who watched you grow up. But you know what else grew? Your desire to try more people.
You ran to your room and sat at your desk to prepare to look at the notebook. You just did that, watching it for almost 10 minutes, maybe waiting for it to start writing itself. Finally, you opened it, there was what you had written about Heeseung yesterday, in the first few lines of the page. You had the decision whether to repeat the same thing from yesterday or write a new story below. You scanned your room for something, anything, to find any answer to a question you hadn't asked yet. Your favorite Chinese actress? No, she was in a relationship. Your teacher? Ew, gross. Your favorite band? No! There were a lot of people and you would just go on the safe side- OH GOD! YOUR FAVORITE BAND!
Sure, Glam was your favorite band years ago, but it was a band from the '30s, the members were already dead, although you were hyper fixated on the guitarist, Jay Park. Of course, he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen before; his upturned nose, his strong jaw, the way his cheeks are marked when he smiles, those skillful fingers... if you were to mention all the reasons why you love him you would probably never finish and this fanfic would never be published.
You grabbed the same pencil you had written about your night with Heeseung with, hoping to capture a new adventure, this time with Jay. Emotions overwhelmed you, but this time you wanted to give it a different touch, perhaps less imaginative and more direct. You sat at your desk, ready to put every detail on paper. "Jay Park from the Glam group will appear..." you began to write, but suddenly the pencil stopped working. Frustrated, you looked at the tip, trying to figure out what had happened. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You decided to try scratching the pencil on a piece of paper to the side. But no matter how hard you tried, there wasn't a single mark. Resigned, you grabbed a permanent marker, determined not to let a simple pencil stop you. With a firm hand, you started again: "Jay Park from the group Gla..." But, just as you were about to finish the word, something strange happened. The letters began to fade before your eyes, as if the paper was rebelling against your attempts. Desperation took over you. You gripped the marker tighter and began scratching furiously on the page, as if the simple act of writing could exorcise the frustration you felt. But in your outburst, the blade tore with a tearing sound.
Suddenly, the book opened on its own, as if it had a life of its own. The pages began to move, creating a ghostly wind in the room. Dark letters appeared on the torn page, slowly forming a sentence: "For being greedy, you will be punished." Fear paralyzed you, a chill ran down your spine. It was as if the book was alive and aware of your desires and failings. You felt a rising panic, a primal fear that told you something terrible was about to happen. You closed your eyes, resigned to your fate, waiting for the punishment that, according to the book, you deserved. The room fell into a deep silence, and you prepared to face the unknown, your blood freezing and your heart pounding in your chest...
Silence.
You opened your eyes after a few minutes of silence, and nothing had happened. Confused, you looked around, but everything remained the same. You thought maybe you had read it wrong, but no, nothing had happened. You sighed in relief, trying to convince yourself that maybe the book had just played a prank on you. Maybe you had imagined it all, the result of your sexual frustration and lack of sleep. Yes, that must have been it, you were delirious, right? With a slightly clearer conscience, you turned to make the bed that you hadn't tidied since Jake left for Australia. Time had passed quickly since then, and the mess was piling up. But just as you were going to start cleaning, you felt a chill run down your spine.
When you turn around, you almost had a heart attack when you see the guitarist of your favorite band sitting on your bed, looking at you with a machiavellian smile. "What's wrong, sweetheart? Weren't you expecting me?" He said, faking a pout as he spoke to you. You were petrified. How was it possible? Had it just appeared out of nowhere? Your mind couldn't form a coherent thought when suddenly he grabbed you by the neck, choking you, and threw you hard onto the bed. "Honestly, I didn't expect to show up like this. I thought you would use the book wisely," he hissed. His words surprised you. Did you know about the book? Nothing made sense. What was happening? "You're wondering a lot of things, gorgeous. Do you really think a book like that would come alone?" He chuckled, his tone clearly mocking, "I'm a Shinigami. Who do you think gave your friend the note?"
Oh right, Sim fucking Jaeyun.
Jake was coming back from shopping, it was not his best day, the plastic of the bag he was carrying broke and his purchases flew due to the storm that hit just 4 minutes ago. He sighed in defeat, looking down to avoid getting soaked by the rain because his umbrella bent and broke. He wasn't looking forward so he ended up colliding with a stranger. He was going to turn around to apologize but there was no one there. He looked at the floor and saw a black notebook that was covered with a layer of plastic so it wouldn't get wet. At least he won't return home empty-handed.
Let's go back to where we left off, 'Jay' turned you around putting your arms behind your back. He took off his belt and tied your arms with it, leaving you completely at his mercy. He grabbed your hair, pulling you back and turning your head a little to whisper something near the juncture of your ear and cheek. "I didn't steal that fucking book so that a dirty human like you could come and desecrate it, scratching it and destroying it just out of anger," he spat with venom in his tone. He proceeded to throw you to the ground, kneeling in front of him while he looked at you superiorly. Your response was to look him in the eyes with pleading eyes, praying that he would even take pity on you and not hurt you.
He took your jaw in his hands, forcing you to look at him, and then he parted your lips, putting his thumb inside your mouth. "Let's see how well you know how to use that beautiful little mouth" he let out along with a deep laugh and then grabbed his erect member and passed his head over your lips, smearing them with pre-cum. You took the hint immediately and gobbled down what you could, leaving a considerable portion out due to its size, something that Jay didn't care about because when he heard your first 'gag' he pushed your head until your nose was touching his pelvis.
You were surprised and your throat contracted, you felt very strange, but you didn't think much about it either because he took his member out of your mouth the same way he put it in. You were about to breathe when, oh surprise, he thrust it back in! He made that move repeatedly, fucking your throat to his pleasure. "This is what you wanted, huh? You needy fucking slut". The boy exclaimed with a harsh voice, but do you know what else was even harsher? Your throat. His cock entered and left your throat with inhuman ease (because he's not human hahaha), letting drops of your own saliva mixed with precum fall into your mouth. You felt like you were choking, so Jay, being the gentleman he is, pulled his cock roughly out of your throat, holding onto your hair to keep you still as you took a sharp breath. He looked at you superiorly and proceeded to laugh at your state, "God, look at you, so pathetic, and we're just getting started," he smirked. Taking advantage of your weak state, he threw you on the bed with your legs bent, face down, leaving your butt within his reach and whim.
You had your head down so as not to turn around to see him, although I don't blame you, it would scare me too. You felt his cold hands caress your back and pajama pants. The calm was short-lived when you felt him tear your pants, making a hole in the center, right where your holes were. You couldn't see anything, and you felt disgusted by the fact that the fear you felt was turning you on. Your panties were wet, as were your buttocks from the licks Jay left behind. You swallowed dryly as you felt him rip your panties for more access, although that wasn't the worst, that came when you finally realized he wasn't going for your pussy, he was going for your asshole. You were going to protest about that but the scream that left your throat silenced all the words you had learned so far. He entered your inexperienced hole with the same force he used on your throat.
Your forehead hitting the headboard wasn't the most painful thing, curiously neither was his thrusts, it was the way your back was bending to keep you in a position where you wouldn't break. You knew Jay was talking to you, but you didn't understand, your mind was clouded by two things: pleasure and pain. Because of the position you were in you could feel your juices running down your legs and the splash when his sack hit your pussy. You couldn't take it anymore, it was too much for you, you began to feel that tickling in your belly that was so familiar but so different at the same time, it felt like your orgasm was close but much more powerful.
Jay's tip was mercilessly pounding that space inside you, which was enough to make you collapse, spurting his sack that only did more than slap your pussy to splatter more. Your throat was hot from the screams that came from it, being replaced by long sighs once Jay stopped for a few moments, perhaps to make sure you were okay, was there any goodness within that mocking creature? Well, no, because he proceeded to resume his thrusts with the same brutality as before. He crouched down a little so he was at the same height as your head so he could whisper some words to you that you had barely caught, "I'm not done yet."
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Jake had tried to call you to let you know he was returning; he had bought the ticket for the next week. Once inside your shared apartment, he proceeded to look for you. "(___) you will not believe me!" he shouted excitedly, hoping his voice would resonate in the silence of the apartment. However, he received no response. He walked through the living room and kitchen, but he didn't find you. He heard sounds similar to your voice, which was a relief, but worry began to grow inside him, because he also heard other sounds accompanying yours.
Jake approached the door, narrowing his eyes in curiosity and some trepidation. The sounds were like knocks, followed by slimy-sounding splashes, clear enough to pique his interest. Without a second thought, he turned the knob and slowly opened the door. What he saw on the other side left him speechless, his best friend being ridden by another person he couldn't recognize.
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Taglist:
@nshmrarki @cha0thicpisces @seokseokjinkim @kimsunoo2003 @rikisave @strxwbloody @nyfwyeonjun @enhalusional @kgneptun @fleurixzs @simpjay
Enha Taglist only:
@lilyuwon @myywonie @ratedjaeyoon
(I couldn't tag the others)
©: made by jayniks on tumblr, do not copy or adapt my works on any platform without my consent.
A/N: omg guys thank you so much for those 700 followers! I honestly didn't expect so much love from your part 🥺🫶 also, let me know if y'all want a kinktober ^^
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leviismybby · 1 year ago
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Brat
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Levi Ackerman x fem!reader
Nsfw 18+, mdni, just Levi rearranging your guts
Talking back to Captain Levi was a mistake, you didn't really think that giving him attitude would get you here. Your hands dig into his scalp, his tongue running up and down your folds, he wasn't being gentle. This was a punishment after all, you didn't deavre a better treatment. You knew it and he knew it too....
Earlier, you were having a smart mouth on you when you talked to him. "I don't like your attitude, brat." Levi's face frowns as he scolds you, he wasn't going to let some solider disrespect him during training and ignore his commands. "Fuck it out of me then." You talk back again, of course when you said that line you didn't think it through, which is how you ended up here in his office. Your body spread on his desk as he makes you cum on his tongue again.
"Levi I can't-mhh!" He slaps your pussy. "That's Captain to you, brat." His eyes looked straight through you, your attitude was wrong and he was going to make sure you would respect him after he was done with you. You gasp as he closes his mouth around your clit again, your head gripped on his hair tightly. Levi growls against your wetness before sucking on your clit, a king your back arch off of his wooden desk.
He was so into it, so into eating you out and he hates it, he hates that a brat like you tastes this good. "The luck you had that this sweet cunt of your tastes like this...fuck.." Levi spits on your pussy and resumes back to lapping on you. You have had boyfriends and one night stand before but none of them made your body react like this.
"I'll cum again..Mhh! I have to cum!" Levi looks up at you as he continues to nibble at your folds. He doesn't slow down making sure that you cum on his tongue again. Your thighs close around his head as pleasure washes over you, he has overstimulated you so much yet, you still want to be a brat.
Levi pulls back from you and licks his lips. His eyes follow your half-naked body, your sweaty skin and parted lips. "Had enough yet?" He asks knowing that the answer is no because even before he asked you that, you started to smirk. "I have had better." A lie, Levi didn't like lies.
"You did huh? Well if that's so, turn around and bend over the desk." For probably the first time ever, you do as he says without talking back to him. You get off his desk and bend over it, Levi doesn't give you time to think, he grabs won't your hips and slams into you. "Ahhh fuuuck!" You moan, gripping the edges of his desk, he didn't even give you time to adjust.
He groans when he enters you. "Of course you're a tight one, fucking brat.." His thrusts are hard and ruthless, the grip he has on your hips will surely leave bruises on your skin. Trying your best to keep your voice down, you bite into your lip but that doesn't do much. Levi keeps snapping his hips into yours, he will not admit it but he is obsessesed with the way you feel, your pussy is perfectly warm.
If someone were to tell you this morning that this is where you would be right now, you would've laughed at their face. You stop biting on your lip, the monas that escape your lips are lewd. "Look at you, moaning like a fucking whore aren't you?" One of his hands travels up to your hair and he pulls on it, pulling your body back so he can fuck you deeper.
"Giving me all that shitty attitude earlier. Did you think I wasn't going to punish this pretty body of yours?" The way he is pulling back your hair would be painful anywhere else but you're too focused on his cock sliding roughly in and out of you. "Mhh mhhh! Ahh! Levi!"
A rough spank is landed on your ass. "Captain. I'll fuck you until you get in that thick head of yours." You yelp as he lands another one on your ass, his cock hitting deep inside of you. Your pussy starts to clench on him, you want to last as much as you can, you can't give him that satisfaction of making you cum fast but as his grip on you tightens and his brutal pace gets even harsher, he will succeed.
"You want to cum? Yeah? How embarrassing you are.." He lets go of your hair and you fall on his desk. His hips slam into you repeatedly, you start to move your hips, meeting his hard thrusts. "Oh that's it, brat. Fuck yourself on my cock." He stops moving and holds your hips as you move your hips back on him. Levi watches as his length slides in and out of your wet cunt. "Faster, brat!"
His voice is commanding and you do as he says again, fucking yourself faster on him. "Good girl." It's the first time he has ever praised you for something and you never thought this would be the reason why. You feel his cock twitch inside of your depths making you whine against the wooden surface of his table. "Cum, now." You cum again, coating his cock in your juices, Levi fucks into you a few more times before he pulls out and cums all over your back.
You try to at least catch your breath but Levi takes your body and sits you on top of his lap on his office couch. You still didn't call him captain, he has to fix that. "Ride me." It's not like you can tell him no and you doesn't want to. Taking the base of his hard cock, you position it at your entrance and lower yourself down on his cock. Whining, you put your hands on his shoulder, Levi's hands are on your waist.
"So now you're listening to orders huh? Was this all it takes for you to listen?" You move your hips at a passionate pace, he feels so good inside of you. Your eyes lock with his as you move on top of him, You don't want to admit it but he looks so hot like this, his cravat undone, his blouse unbuttoned slightly, you're starting to think that this won't be a one time thing.
Levi gently rubs your sides, his cock making it hard for you to keep quiet. Your pussy feels sore, you almost don't have the energy to move. "Levi....I can't anymore.." He scoffs. "Tch too bad, I can." He is quick to switch the positions, he plays you down on his couch and kisses your lips. "You're going to beg for me to stop, brat."
He puts your legs over his shoulder and enters you again, your head falls back aging the cushion, a loud moan leaving your lips. Levi starts to move, his thruths are rude, really rude. "Fuck fuck! Yes!" You scream making Levi grip your legs tighter as he fucks you.
"Yeah? Am I deep inside of you?" You nod, unable to from words anymore as he hits every right spot inside of you. If this will he your punishment, he better punish you like this everytime. Levi kisses your calf, slamming his hips against your heat, he is slowly getting addicted.
Your hand grip the fabric under you, eyes rolling at back of your head when your warm walls squeeze tightly around your cock. "Mhh keep clenching like that, good girl." His hair is messy and wet, his grey eyes piercing through you.
He starts to fuck you harder, his cock hitting your cervix. "Ahh captain! Too much! Too much!" Levi smirks, You finally called him captain. "There you go, brat. Was that so hard?" He slows his strokes but still makes sure that he is hitting all the spots that make you crazy.
But that's only for a few seconds before his hips starts to slam against your relentlessly. "Call me captain again and I'll let you cum." He growls, his eyes roll back when your pussy tightens around him again, his words make you feel hotter. A shiver runs down your spine. "Please captain...i want to cum!"
Your voice is in a pitch he has never heard before and he loves it. "There we go, brat. Cum for me, cum all over my cock." And you do just as you're told, cumming all over him and his cock, he fucks you through your orgasm and pulls out shortly after, his seed wetting your shirt.
Both of you pant, Levi kisses your leg and let's them fall as they shake. "Well, I'd say I fucked the attitude out of you. Look at you..." He admired you for a little while. You smile. "You definitely did, captain."
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