#and when I say kismet CRUSHED it
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radio-silents · 2 years ago
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the six words every queer DND player waits to hear:
“send me your fancy party outfits”
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kittyball23 · 11 months ago
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When you have time could you do a one shot of poppy fan girling over the fact that her bf is in two famous boy bands? I wish the movie gave a little more of it focused on him because the adoration is so cute to me.
Yes, here it is! :D
Surprise (a Trolls fanfic)
“Hey, Branch? It’s almost showtime, I was just thinking that maybe we could…”
The Pop Queen cut off her own question with an enormous gasp.
“WHHHHHAAAAAAT?!?!”
It was simply impossible for her to believe the sight in front of her. Granted, she knew some of what she would find when she ventured backstage to find her boyfriend. She knew of his brothers, and of how they were the sensational boyband known as BroZone. But what she did not at all anticipate were the four other Trolls who made up the other insanely popular boyband that there had been back in the day. 
And, recalling that that band had had five members - and seeing that her boyfriend was costumed to the same chic style they were wearing at that moment - it suddenly all made sense in a whirlwind of revelation.
“Kismet?” she exclaimed in a squeak, pointing a shaky hand at Branch. “You were in BroZone AND Kismet? And you… didn’t… tell me?!” She shot her gaze at the brothers. “Guys, did you know about this?”
They hurriedly denied.
“I’m just as surprised as you are, Pops,” John Dory admitted.
“Not a clue,” Bruce answered.
“Nope,” Clay said, putting his hands up and taking a couple steps back, while Floyd replied with a mystified “Uh-uh,” and a small shake of his head.
At this point, Poppy wasn’t even sure how she was still able to keep standing there - she was trembling so much from the excitement building up inside of her, she was just about ready to collapse!
Branch himself shrugged, keeping collected. “Surprise,” he chuckled.
Poppy couldn’t help herself anymore. Forgetting about everything but being filled with happiness - and not being able to coherently form any other sentences - she rushed forward and threw her arms around Branch’s neck, screaming in delight. Then, she rushed to hug each of his friends, taking Hype, Ablaze, Boom, and Trickee off guard with her uncontained enthusiasm and bone-crushing embrace. And then still, she leapt over towards JD, Bruce, Clay, and Floyd, hugging them for good measure, too!
Hype shook his blue head with a smirk. "Well, that's some girl you got there, Branch!" he exclaimed.
"And this is some sneaky secret-keeping boyband-extraordinaire boyfriend I've got!!" Poppy shouted, finding her voice again and nearly dizzying all nine men with all her jumping up-and-down on the spot. And now that she was speaking again, she couldn’t seem to stop! The words tumbled out of her a hundred miles a minute.
“This is incredible! I really really REALLY can’t believe this! I’m so excited I could SCREAM! I think I will scream! AAAIIYYIII!!! Okay, okay, I’m done now. No, just kidding, I’m actually not. AHGHGH! I’m not gonna be over this for, like, a SUPER long time! I, like, REALLY need all of your autographs, too. Ooo! And a picture! Well, more like a dozen pictures with you guys. And then I’m gonna need copies! And then copies of the copies!! And… and… would it be weird if I fainted right now? Because I totally feel like I’m gonna faint right now, hehe!”
And she did. Expended, she keeled over with that ear-to-ear smile still plastered on her face. Branch caught her right before she fell to the ground, and carried her in his arms.
“I’ll be back in a sec,” he said to his friends and brothers, smirking at the Pop Queen. “I’m gonna get her situated in the front row. Then we can get this show rolling, alright?”
And that’s just what he did, leaving Kismet and BroZone to themselves.
Both boybands looked at each other awkwardly, not sure what to say to each other. At least, until Floyd broke the ice, smiling politely.
“So… how did you guys meet Branch?”
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lotusbxtch · 8 months ago
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don't ruin this on me
Pairing: f!Reader x post-outbreak Joel
Rating: Mature (mentions of smut)
Word count: 861
Warnings: Mentions of smut, mentions of heart attack symptoms, mentions of alcohol, aaaaaaangst so much angst, no use of y/n. Not beta'd.
a/n: for whatever reason, I am all up in my feelings tonight and felt the need to write an angsty little drabble about lonely Joel & lonely pining Reader. Consider this a stream of consciousness I needed to word vomit onto Tumblr since isn't that what this place is for?
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It's 2 am, the trees outside casting long shadows on your walls in the full moon's light. You shift restlessly in your flannel sheets, not from the cold, but from your own thoughts. There's an ache in your chest, a little pinch that blossoms deeper and spreads slowly. If you didn't know any better, you'd think you were having a heart attack -- you'd always heard that women's symptoms were more subtle than men's; the feeling of an immense elephant slowly crushing the life from you. But you know exactly what this is, and your eyes seek it out through your bedroom window. Seek him.
Just outside the glass, you see the silhouette of the house. His house. At night, everything in shades of grey, devoid of the color of life that the daylight brings. You think that this must be what the world looks like to him.
Ever since you moved in next door to Joel Miller, something deep in you changed. It felt magnetic, like kismet. The moment your eyes met his, something clicked, cracked, slowly hairline fractured in your soul. Something said "oh, there you are," whispered it in the pit of your heart, and you desperately wished it wasn't so. Because you swore you could see that glimmer of recognition the second your hand touched his, shaking it after introducing yourselves. You knew he felt it too. Could see his breath quicken for a few moments, something softening in his gaze. And then the tiniest pinprick of fear flashing in his eyes, and you could almost see him physically shut it out. And then nothing. Cold detachment. The chill went bone-deep, and you could never seem to escape it.
Joel was alone. He was always alone. Try as you might, more often than not, so were you.
You rolled the sheets around your body, wrapping up your arms and legs, holding yourself, desperately willing the feeling away. Knowing that you were literally yards away from him, and yet never seeming to be able to bridge that gap.
You thought things might have been different for a second a few months ago. Tommy and Maria had dragged you and Joel out for drinks, and after Joel disappeared for a few minutes, you went looking for him. You found him around the corner, looking up at the sky, fat fluffy snowflakes beginning to cascade down.
"Joel..." you said softly. He turned, meeting your eyes with your name cascading off his lips. It was the sweetest your name had ever sounded to you. He just stared at you, neither of you saying a word, but your eyes locking and speaking volumes. You stepped up to him, stopping when your feet nearly touched. Slowly, you reached out and brushed your fingertips over his arms, across the soft leather of his jacket. His eyes followed the motion, his breath deepening and quickening. Your lips parted as you breathed in to say something, anything, but nothing could come out. Joel felt your inhale and shifted his eyes back to yours. The fire in his gaze seared you, sent shockwaves through your chest, your arms, your core. His fingers twitched at his sides as you kept looking at him, reaching up to touch his jawline, the little heart-shaped patch in his beard that you loved so much.
"Please," you breathed simply. Begging. Pleading. Saying so much in only one word. You wanted him to know you could give him so much, so many things he was missing. Warmth, laughter, passion, care, simple companionship, understanding. You wanted so desperately to kiss his plush lips, drag him back to your home, spend the next week slowly pulling his defenses apart in your bed, laying his heart out for yourself, soaking in him, letting the pain seep out of the cracks, replacing it with happiness. Wrapping your body around him, surrounding him in every way until he had no choice but to let you in, to let you see him, to drain away his sins and his anxieties and his regrets. To drown the demons out with your moans, your sighs, your hips, your flesh, your wetness, your pleasure, to give and receive as you well pleased. Whispering, shouting, screaming his name as he took and took and took. To love him and love him and love him. Until he forgot why he built up those walls, and gave himself wholly to you.
To love you.
But just as soon as you saw the fire, you saw him snuff it out. The embers barely burning, dying, he skimmed the side of your face with his rough hand. "Darlin', I can't. I can't. You don't need me, you don't want me, I'm bad for you. I can never be good for you."
And then he simply walked away, into the cold streets, back to his home. And those hairline fractures shifted and splintered until the entirety of you broke. And ever since then, you've felt hollow laying here at night. Alone.
A single tear slips down your face. A hurt that will never heal, when the man who could fix it is right there. And yet never close enough.
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kenni33 · 9 months ago
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Kismet headcannons
Ages: (going from eldest to youngest)
Ablaze: 29 (bros pushing his thirty’s 😭)
Trickee: 28
Boom: 25
Branch: 24
Hype: 21
Nicknames
Ablaze:
Honeybuns(a joke nickname from hype calls ablaze,he hates it not a ship thing!!!!)
Blaze
Micky mouse
Darling (yet again a joke nickname from trickee)
David
Dadvid
Trickee
Stuart (branch just randomly called trickee this one day and it stuck no has any idea why)
Trickster
Trixx
Sugar t*ts (trickee once said smt sweet and hype started calling him this )
Tee-shirt(boom)
Branch
twig
Tree
Trunk
Roots
B
Bob
And all the tree / branch puns under the sun
Boom
Rainbow
Joe
Bread
Cavetown
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee x ♾️
Rainbow alphabet
Hype
Hyperpop
Hyper
Jim
Random head cannons
Boom wasn’t born with rainbow hair he made the grave mistake of letting his friend choose his hair colour and he just dyes it rainbow now
Ablaze was once angry at trickee so trickee got branch to hold a hose, hype to play guitar and boom to hold a hair dryer and he sung a sad song to get ablaze to forgive him, it went badly everyone got soaked , booms hair got caught in the hair dryer, the hair dryer caught fire (somehow?) but ablaze forgave him (trickee ate the last of ablaze’s cereal how dare he)
Ablaze and trickee live together . It’s mayhem .
Boom loves Alec Benjamin so does branch
Boom says he doesn’t listen to cavetown but he does
Trickee once covered branch’s bunker in every kind of
Sticker he owned (branch was not pleased)
Hype once challenge ablaze to an arm wrestle (he lose. and cried)
Trickee loves to prank everyone (mostly ablaze)
Branch, hype, ablaze and boom once’s blasted a smash up of all the songs trickee hates as payback for all his pranks
They was friends since they was kids but only started the band at the end of trolls 1 branch was called B and wore a mask
Trickee and ablaze like to joke flirt but sometimes your can’t tell if it’s a joke or if their actually flirting
After finding out about branches past ablaze unofficially adopted him
Everyone (but branch who was the voice of reason) once got really high and ate crayons they never spoke of it again (expect branch who told poppy)
Sexuality’s
Ablaze : gay (not canon)
Trickee : bi (not canon)
Branch : bi (not technically canon but it’s so heavily implied it’s crazy 😭)
Hype : aroace (not canon)
Boom : gay (canon)
Ships
(Warning these are my ships not everyone will agree)
Ablaze x trickee
Boom once had a small crush on Floyd and cried when he remembers (I don’t ship boom x Floyd btw sorry😞)
That’s all
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deancasbigbang · 1 year ago
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Title: Baby's Driver
Author: entropic_saudade
Artist: Sketcheun
Rating: Explicit
Pairings: Endgame Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, mentioned past Sam/Jessica, past John/Mary, mentioned background Belphegor/Ardat, past Kelly/Lucifer, past Bobby/Karen, implied past Dean/Lee Webb, mentioned past Dean/others, mentioned past Cas/others, Garth/Bess, past Bobby/Crowley, Chuck/Becky, past Chuck/multiple unnamed women
Length: 140000
Warnings: Major Archive Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence Other warnings: ableism, graphic depictions of illness and injury, graphic depictions of medical treatment, childhood cancer and associated diseases, canon-typical violence, canon-typical child neglect, canon-typical childhood trauma, trauma, sexual harassment, minor character death, mentioned sexual assault, kidnapping, alcohol use, mentioned alcoholism, guns.
Tags: Alternate Universe, getaway driving, heists, music, selectively mute Dean, neurodivergent characters, mutual crushes, found family, happy ending, pop culture references.
Posting Date: October 23, 2023
Summary: Dean has been working as a getaway driver for Crowley for the last fourteen years, and has survived by developing a few simple rules: always pick the right music, keep an eye on the time, never give out his real name, and most importantly, make no personal connections with anyone on the job.  Making no personal connections with anyone new is easy when he has difficulty talking in his own words.  Enter Cas, who, in order to pay for his nephew Jack’s life-saving medical treatment, decides to break bad by joining Crowley’s operations. Unlike most of his brothers, he’s new to the world of crime, but Gabriel’s list of survival tips, and their driver’s skills and quiet demeanor have a way of reassuring him.  Throughout the course of several months, their rules fall to the wayside as they fall for each other, each unable to say the words ‘I love you’ for differing reasons.  Cas’ past family life complicates things when Lucifer comes around, wanting to know how Cas is getting the money to pay for Jack’s treatment. Everything comes to a head, and they realize just how connected their world is when Dean is kidnapped.  A Baby Driver-inspired AU.
Excerpt: With little over four minutes counted on his internal clock, a trilling alarm pierced the air as three figures ran out, each with stuffed bags in tow.  Right on time.  While the other two piled in the back, one of the masked figures frantically pounded on the passenger side window with the butt of his shotgun. “Open the door!” he yelled, voice muffled.  Dean rolled his eyes, popping the handle, showing that it was already unlocked. Dean pressed play, not waiting for him to finish closing the door behind him before tearing off.   His tires burned rubber on the pavement.  One street, two streets, three streets whizzed by as Dean narrowly avoided red lights, ignoring honks and angry yells from other drivers, racing to get onto the next access road.  “Get your motor runnin’, head out on the highway!” Dean weaved between the beats of the music and the cars around him, riding the gas a little harder to try to put as much distance between their car and the bank as he could.  The goon in the backseat and Bela, who had played fake hostage, looked behind them and swore. Dean glanced up at the rearview mirror to see that civilian cars had started to part like the Red Sea for a squealing squadron. The sirens chased them down, joining in and almost drowning out the lyrics– “Yeah, darlin’, gonna make it happen”– so Dean cranked it up in response, lowering the rear windows so that they could put their firepower to use.  Whether it was intentional or coincidence, if it was set to some kismet choreography by the Powers That Be, or if it happened because Dean had a preternatural sense about timing things like this, Bela and Backseat shot their guns in sync to “Fire all of your guns at once,” popping the tires of two of the closest police cars. The cars skidded sideways and to a halt, causing a pile-up behind them.  Dean smoothly ducked under an overpass only to be greeted by a row of road spikes being laid up ahead when he emerged. With a glance to the side, he noticed that some construction workers had graciously left behind a gift for him, and decided to take advantage. Dean made a sharp turn, avoiding the teeth of the spikes.  The tempo of the drums picked up pace as Dean picked up speed. Bela put her seatbelt on and held on tight to the grab handle above her, while the guys in the backseat and next to him started begging when they realized what he was doing. “No, no, wait–!”  “What are you–?” “We can climb so high, I never wanna die…” Dean went hard on the throttle up the construction ramp, gathering enough momentum so they could soar over a concrete divider. In the few seconds that they were up off the ground, the bags in the backseat lifted off the laps of his accomplices, suspended for a moment — “Born to be wi-ild…”
DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule
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talesfrommedinastation · 2 years ago
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In Defense of Tech's Hairline
It breaks my heart when I see fan art of Tech with a full head of hair. 
While I don’t mind seeing different versions of him (darker skin and different features to better resemble Temuera Morrison is awesome, and I love it!), it does seem as if fans are trying to override a critical part of aging for many adults. 
After all, 50% of biological men will lose their hair before 50, 25% of them before the age of 21. 21! 
So, when people change Tech’s hairline, it makes me feel quite sad. It’s something that many people go through, and it’s as if the message is: “If you’re balding, you’re not handsome enough. I need to fix that.”  
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(Tech's skin, bone structure, and puppy dog eyes prove that statement is wrong, as seen above).
Which is far from the truth. There’s plenty of incredibly handsome folks with less hair, but even so, it’s a part of aging that many people are incredibly insecure and embarrassed about, because society sees thick hair as beautiful, and receding or balding as old or silly. 
Look, I’m a lady with long blond hair in real life. So why am I worked up about this? 
Well, let me tell a quick story, namely, of a guy I know who reminds me so much of Tech. 
That guy is my husband of almost a decade. 
A chief systems engineer with a graduate degree in science, my husband is an adrenaline junkie, an Eagle Scout, a gaming geek, and an absolute loving papa bear to our daughters. He’s Tech IRL, and it’s part of the reason I fell head over heels in love with that member of Clone Force 99. 
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(Above: Tech, but I'm sure my spouse has said that to me when I've asked when we're finally going on vacation to Hawai'i).
My husband and I met in graduate school, when he was 23 and  I was 24. He wrestled in high school, and did competitive jiu-jitsu throughout undergrad and graduate school as well. As a result, his fair hair was always buzzed, making it impossible to grab during a grapple. But there was another reason he kept his hair very short.
My then-boyfriend was already going bald, in his early 20’s. 
He could have been sensitive about it, but, ever the stoic cowboy type (I married a Texan, what can I say?) he just shrugged it off, and kept his hair barely above stubble, so few noticed. Eventually, he grew it out, but his receding hairline still bothered him.
He made up for it by growing a magnificently sculpted beard, but snarky remarks from friends and strangers still came through, ranging from how he looked older than me, to asking who he was cursed by to have so much facial hair but none on his head. 
Finally, the inevitable ‘halo’ happened, shortly after our wedding. You know what I’m talking about:
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 My husband was not even 30. When he noticed the inevitable full loss of his hair, because of a friend’s unflattering picture of him on Facebook, the clippers came out, and he’s had a fully buzzed and shaved head (a la Captain Picard) ever since. 
Once in a while, he lets his hair grow back…and that hairline comes out, along with the halo on his crown. And guess who happened to be on the screen when my toddler and I were scrolling through Disney + one fine day? 
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Sure enough, my almost two year old actually pointed at the screen and screamed, “DADA!” when Tech appeared. The fact that it was a scene where Tech was happily ignoring everyone and tapping away on his data pad was pure kismet--that was my husband on the screen!
My youngest and I got hooked on the show ever since. 
My husband is a dashing, handsome, confident guy who knows he’s smart and that he’s loved.
Just like Tech. 
Seeing the internet go donkey bonkers for him and that hairline of his makes me grin nonstop. (We will not discuss the finale on season 2 here and no, I have not let my toddler watch it either) I like knowing that a ton of people are absolutely simping and crushing on a guy with a receding hairline.
It gives me hope that many who are not feeling confident due to hair loss can see someone like Tech, and suddenly think: “The man is self-assured as all heck, and he has hair like me. Maybe I should be more like him!”
We do not talk as much about hair loss, because, ironically enough, Tech has a quote about it: "It is a fundamental part of life."
So, when I see Tech redrawn with a full head of hair, I just think of the heartache my poor honey went through as a young guy in his 20’s, already facing an inevitable part of aging the vast majority do not look forward to. 
It's inevitable, but there's plenty of handsome dudes with little to no hair, ranging from Picard to Jason Statham and now, our animated neurodivergent prince of the Marauder. I love his hairline.
 Besides, we all can’t be Howzer, dang it, with his flawless fade and mop of glorious hair.
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("Howzer deserves his own issue of Tiger Beat," - Reddit)
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drummergetwicked · 7 months ago
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So I’ve had the JSuds crush for a while. Since Last Man On Earth. But lately I’m getting real weird with it. Obviously. I’m here doing this. Like, Idk if it’s the perimenopause or that I haven’t been laid in years. Whatever it is, I’m on the Jason Sudeikis wagon and I’m riding it till my ADHD has me fixated on the next thing. Wheeeeee!!!
I watched Sleeping With Other People a few days ago for the first time. Whhhho boy, that movie hit a NERVE. Yeah, so I had a Matthew. But it was worse. For 15 years he used me for emotional and physical intimacy when he knew I was romantically fixated on him. When he was lonely, in between relationships (sometimes during), he’d tap into my weakness for his own gratification. The second his marriage fell apart, there he was, wrapping me around his finger again. Much like Lainey, I was waiting for him to choose me.
What made it worse is that we had a friendship outside of that, for lack of a better word (because a real friend doesn’t do this shit). We were inseparable for a few years when we both lived in NY. We even lived together for a few months. He knew exactly how I felt. I was not subtle. He didn’t want to date me. Fine, whatever. But then he’d be intimate with me. Knowing it hurt me. He apologized a few times. But it always happened again.
We took a road trip across the east coast and Deep South together a couple years ago. Hadn’t seen each other in 10 years. And guess what happened? Yep. Not only did he hook up with me, he took a phone call with a girl he was trying to get with, then tried to get with me again when he hung up. I threw him off me and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Still, it took 2 more years to fully lay it to rest. I had gradually minimized contact until I was fully ghosting him. Part of me could not let go.
Enter the movie. I ugly cry. A lot. Like off and on for a good 24 hours. Seeing that toxic dynamic that I lived on screen? It had me feeling seen for the first time. But guess who texts me that night? You guessed it. My Matthew. I swear the timing couldn’t be more kismet. I had a feeling he would. I sent him a strongly worded message telling him that I’m unequivocally done and to never contact me again. Then blocked his number. That movie changed my life. I mean, I was gonna get there eventually. But I finally had the guts to just say it to him. This was literally just a couple days ago. 17 years of toxicity over with thanks to my crush on Jason Sudeikis. He is my hero.
Can I also discuss the scene where Jake beats the shit out of Matthew? Oh man, the catharsis. I watched it so many times. Yes, Jason, please pummel the bane of my existence!!!! *swoon*
On top of that, seeing the respect and boundaries between Jack and Lainey in contrast to the lack therof with Lainey and Matthew. UGHHHHH😩
So. Much. Ugly crying.
Thank you, JSuds, for saving the day.
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in-dire-read · 5 months ago
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Scoring Her Heart (Book Review)
Rating: 4⭐️/5⭐️
Information
Author: Kismet Kaye
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
Page Number: 154
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https://www.romance.io/authors/654f3e5cab9bdf7fcea5c53a/kismet-kaye
Summary
Christa Benson has harboured a secret crush on Julie, her older brother's best friend since she was a freshman in high school. So, Christa jumps at the chance when a rare marketing job opening comes up at Julie Stone's prestigious soccer academy. As she starts working closely with Julie, she finds herself drawn even more to her. Their growing connection forces both women to consider whether they should play it safe or take a leap of faith for a chance at a lasting relationship.
Thoughts
I recently had the pleasure of reading "Keeping Score of Her Heart" by Kismet Kaye and I must say it was a delightful discovery. This was my first time delving into Kismet Kaye's writing, and I regret not having come across her work earlier. The book not only takes readers through the dynamics of a boss/employee relationship but also introduces an element of drama through the presence of a toxic ex-girlfriend, adding further depth to the story. 
One aspect that I found particularly impressive was the author's ability to craft a quick-paced and quirky sapphic narrative that kept me engrossed throughout. The character of Iris, though chaotic, managed to capture my favouritism, and I feel that introducing her earlier in the story would have heightened the emotional tension. Her presence truly elevated the stakes in the relationship between Christa and Julie, which added an exciting layer to the narrative. 
Overall, "Keeping Score of Her Heart" is a must-read for anyone who enjoys a well-crafted sapphic office romance with a fast-paced and engaging storyline!
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abyssal-ali · 2 years ago
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Marinette "Valkyrie" Wayne
Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 ao3 link (completed) Valkyrie’s suit
Pairing: Marijon
Rating: G
WC: 2.1k
That night Marinette debuted as Valkyrie, the latest Bat. Her suit was all black, with white trim. Her symbol was a stylized Bat she designed; it was very pointy, as her weapon of choice was knives/shuriken, etc. She leaned heavily into the ghost Bat theme, like Cass. The family agreed that the two girls got along way too well and they (the fam) would be in huge trouble one day. They even looked similar, though Cass had brown eyes and Mari had blue.
(The girls were currently planning an ID swap prank, complete with coloured contacts and Cass dyeing a stripe of her hair red to match Mari.)
The third criminal apprehended by Valkyrie had a gun. She dodged before the bullet hit her and socked his jaw, knocking him out.
“How did you dodge that fast?” asked Nightwing, her partner for the night.
“I read his body language before he shot,” she deflected.
Later, she collared a suspect in a case – “practice for intimidation”, ‘Wing said. With her back to ‘Wing, who was overseeing the ‘questioning’, and facing the all-in-black guy pressed against the brick wall, she glamoured herself to have eyes glowing white and deepened her voice to beyond-spooky levels.
He quickly cracked and gave the information they needed. Valkyrie left him in a cowering heap and grappled up to ‘Wing. “Got that?”
“That was fast, V. Have you been practicing?”
“I can be scary when I want!” she slapped his chest. “I got Superboy to give me the last of his fries last week.”
“That’s because of puppy love, not intimidation!”
“What?!”
“What?”
“What did you say?” Valkyrie repeated.
“Jon has a crush on you?”
“No names,” she reminded absently. “SB has a crush on me?!”
“I thought you knew, since you were flirting back…”
“I wasn’t flirting, I was just matching his energy and copy… oh. Oh no .”
“I think the most important question right now is do you have a crush on Superboy?”
“No, we’re just friends. Although he is really cute, and he’s such a nerd, and Kismet loves him, and he’s Damian’s best friend because he’s irresistible and really nice and ohnoIhaveacrushonhim . Nightwing, what do I dooooo?” She wailed, clutching at his arm.
“Tell Superboy you like him. I bet he’ll ask you out.”
“...oh.” I’ll have to tell him about the Kwami. We’re a package deal.
“Glad to help my little sis out with her relationship crisis. And if he hurts you, just let us know!”
“Absolutely not. Tag!” she tapped his shoulder and flew off the roof, grappling away as Nightwing chased her.
~
Jon was over the next day to visit Damian. 
“Kent, just tell her and stop making excuses to come see me,” Damian greeted him.
Jon huffed at being called out. “Fine.” 
He knocked on Mari’s door and shooed everyone away.
“Jon! Hi, come in. One second.” She crossed the room to close her curtains so no prying family members could peep at the sure-to-be-awkward conversation.
“Uh, there’s something I need to tell you, but if I do, then I’ll have to tell you something else and it’s really secretive and ugh, why is this so hard ?” she flopped on her bed, groaning.
“Uh, I need to tell you something too.” Jon pushed his glasses up, though they didn’t need it. “I really like you, like, more than a friend, but if you don’t like me then I still want to be your friend, if you want, but…”
“I like you too, Jon. Like, like-like you. Ugh, that’s too many ‘likes’. But uh, if this is gonna go anywhere, I need to tell you this other thing, but you can’t tell anyone else, especially my family. Promise?”
“Pinky promise.” They shook pinkies and Jon cuddled Kismet while Mari mentally prepared.
“Uh, Jon?”
He looked up and yelped. “Whoa, Mari!”
“Relax, it’s just one side. Look at the…” She nodded at the lotus tattoo on her left ribs. It was in a semi-circular pattern, with a gradient of different colors bleeding into each other and a complex geometric design in the petals and leaves.
“So, you got a tattoo? I’m pretty sure Jason has at least one,” he commented.
“It's not an ink tattoo, it’s magic. So, uh, did your dad tell you about Ladybug?”
“From Paris? He said they couldn’t find her.”
“I was Ladybug. When I was fifteen, I did a remote spell that merged all the Miraculous and untethered the kwami. The spell and pain from it knocked me out for two days. When I woke up, I had this tattoo and had become a Miraculous myself. Since I was the guardian, they stayed with me. You can come out, guys.”
Several fuzzy flying blobs appeared in Jon’s face. He was introduced to the kwami one at a time. 
“We’re a package deal, you need to know.”
“That is so cool! Do they still give you their power, or what?”
“Well, when the kwami are untethered, their powers are unstable and can easily run out of control. However, merging more than a couple Miraculous is dangerous. I have to utilize their powers regularly so they and I don’t have a meltdown and blow the planet up or something. But I don’t need to be transformed to use the powers, and I have constant mind link access, so I can ask them to leave me and take some of their energy with them if I need.”
“Are you okay with all that?” Jon asked worriedly.
She shrugged. “I admit, it was a surprise being told I’d become a mega-Miraculous when I woke up from that nap, but I do like knowing they’re all safe with me and no one can steal a Miraculous or the Miracle Box anymore.”
“I can see why you don’t want them to know, but I think you should tell them eventually.”
Her shoulders sagged. “I know. Just not yet.”
“That’s okay, I’m sure it will take some time.”
Mari smiled gratefully at him. “So, what I was getting at was: we’re a package deal. They won’t always be around in our personal space, but they will be around some of the time and I’ll have Guardian duties and such to attend to at times, so I’ll be busy.”
“I was aware you were a vigilante when I decided to confess and ask you out,” Jon shrugged. “You’re great at schedules, I’m sure we can work things out.”
“If you’re sure this whole mess is what you want. I know I act fine most of the time, but I am still very traumatized from the whole Hawkmoth-Ladybug-Guardian-orphan thing,” Mari warned.
“I know, but I’d like to give this a chance. So, will you go out with me?”
“You’re seriously fine with the Kwami?”
“Yup! I’ve definitely seen weirder. I’m half-alien, you know.”
“Mhm. Oh, I also have a high affinity for magic, so I put up an illusive sound barrier in my room so my family can’t listen in. I’m taking it down now, so no talking about them .”
Jon nodded, and Mari released the spell.
“Oh, I never gave you my answer, did I? Yes, I would love to go on a date with you.”
“Wednesday, seven o’clock? They’re showing the new Marvel movie at the theater. Would you like to see it?”
“Sure; we can laugh at the inaccuracies, and I’ll critique the costumes.”
Marinette motioned to Jon to keep talking while she tiptoed to the door.
“Uh, do your brothers know I like you? Because they were acting weird today – weirder than their normal crazy. Wait, do I have to re-meet the family? Please tell me I’m not gonna die as soon as I step foot outside of here.”
Marinette swung the door open, smiling sweetly at Jon. “Of course not! My family would never stoop to eavesdropping on their little sister’s private conversations, if they know what’s good for them .”
Five panicked faces looked at her.
Jason turned to Dick. ‘I take it back, she is scary. Run!”
Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, and Damian scattered.
Wednesday night Jon was approached by Mari. She waved at him and crossed the street.
“Hi, Cass,” Jon said.
Cass pouted. “Supers,” she grumbled.
Jon was hugged from behind. He jumped slightly. “Sneak up a little louder, would you?”
“Yay, you passed the test! You do know me. If only people whom I have lived with for months and solved decades-old cold cases in hours could identify me,” Mari said into her hood.
She then picked the bug out of the folds of fabric and squashed it. “Bye, Cass!”
Cass waved and went to the weapons store across the street.
“She’s surveillance, to see when the guys show up.”
“Okay. I got the tickets– after you, Lady.”
"Thanks, my knight in jeans and hoodie!” In a lower voice, so no one could overhear, she added, “I’m working on a new suit for you. A hoodie and jeans do not make a suit.”
Ten minutes into the film Cass texted Marinette. 
Cass: D + D behind you, back left row. Caps and black jackets.
Marinette inched closer to Jon, then turned and glared directly at her brothers. 
I know where you sleep , she mouthed. They left.
When they left for ice cream after the movie, Jason was behind a newspaper by the ice cream stand. Marinette casually flicked a shuriken, slicing the paper neatly in half. Jason got the hint and left.
Marinette glared at all the security cams they passed, knowing Tim and possibly Babs would be watching them electronically. 
“Can you take me flying?” she asked Jon.
“Of course.”
They finished their cones, ducked into an alley, Jon became Superboy (unzipped his hoodie and tucked his glasses away), and took off.
Once they were over Star City, Marinette motioned ‘down’. They landed on Queen Consolidated’s roof.
“I can glide as Ladybug.” 
Tikki appeared.
“Spots on!”
Mari took off, hand-in-hand with Jon.
“Take me higher,” she called, letting him pull them up to watch the sunset on the horizon and the stars become visible.
“I can show you the world,” Jon sang to her as they flew above the earth, watching the lights turn on as night fell. She giggled at his cheesiness and they continued the duet.
Marinette detransformed and freefell –until Jon caught her– then they flew back to the Batcave.
Mari waved goodbye and Jon returned to Metropolis after landing a kiss on her cheek with his superspeed.
“Hello, my lovely family. Did you enjoy spying needlessly on Jon and me?”
“Can you take that disguise off? It’s so confusing having you two switched,” Dick complained. 
That morning Mari had put in hazel contacts and worn Cass���s clothes, and Cass had Mari dye a streak of red in her hair at the exact same spot she did. With Cass wearing blue contacts and a set of Mari’s clothes, the family kept getting confused about who they were talking to.
The girls removed their contacts and switched hoodies, to the family’s preference and relief.
“Did Jon take you flying?”
“Yep. It’s breathtaking watching the sun set midair. Chilly up there, though. I’m with Robin tonight, right?”
“We’re raiding a drug deal down by the docks. You are with Red Hood, Red Robin, and Black Bat. Robin will be backup. Nightwing and I will be with Batwoman and Spoiler around town,” Bruce informed.
The family suited up and left.
At times like these, Mari regretted not letting them know her secret, where she could transform with a command or even a thought now. Putting on layers of safety protection took way longer than the two-second transformation.
She had modified Valkyrie’s full-face mask to have glowing eyes, either red or white, and her voice modulator to do deeper or horror-movie-childishly high.
Mari pulled her mask up, hood down, and revved her bike. 
Valkyrie was still a myth in Gotham; she’d only been out a week, so she hung back with Robin while the other three busted the deal.
The only problem was, it was a setup.
Penguin and Black Mask had teamed up to take down the bats. 
More goons arrived and tied up the Reds and BB. Red Hood had a bullet graze on his thigh and was bleeding steadily.
Robin relayed the situation to Oracle and requested backup from the other four Bats.
Marinette kept up a steady stream of shuriken and knives, taking out goon after goon.
Robin eyed her. How does she have so many weapons on her?
Their backup arrived and they began taking out more goons.
Valkyrie stayed in the shadows, sending missiles with deadly maiming accuracy.
A knife cut Red Robin’s rope bindings and he began freeing Hood and BB.
With the entire family gathered the two mobsters stood no chance. Valkyrie kept injuring backup goons before they could attack, and the Bats left, all alive and mostly well, with a surprising minimum of damage.
"You’re our good luck charm,” teased Steph.
Mari laughed. “Hardly. You could say I was your bad luck charm, that it was a setup.”
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kismetharborapps · 6 months ago
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character information
name: Zari Sayeh Habibi
faceclaim: Sarah Shahi
gender & pronouns: Cis woman, she/her
age: 43
birthday: July 24, 1980 (7/24/1980)
place of birth: Chicago, IL
occupation: Lawyer @ Legal Lighthouse
neighborhood: Emerald Mist
time since arriving in kismet harbor: since 2019
filling a wanted connection?: Connor Bowen's Affair
biography: 
TW: mention of infidelity
Miracles come in all forms and for Navid and Nasim Habibi, their miracle came in the form of twins on the night of July 24, 1980. Their birth hadn't been anything out of the norm, but to see two healthy babies nestled in the arms of joyful parents, that was a special day. The twins were named Zari and Omid, and from then on, they were inseparable just as they were at birth. Their little family became everything.
Born and raised in Glenview, a suburb right outside Chicago, Illinois; the Habibi twins would become inseparable the moment they were brought into the world. Her childhood was blissfully normal, to say the least. The Habibi family came from money and never struggled financially. The children got what they wanted, resulting in a spoiled mentality of "it's mine and I deserve it" that didn't play well with others. It was clear that Zari was meant to be a leader, based on her social interactions with children. "Bossy" was a bit of an understatement. Zari had all the toys, the dolls, the dresses, anything that she could possibly want growing up. It was the perfect, white picket fence lifestyle.
From a young age, it was apparent that Zari was not only extremely smart, but also very independent. While many kids relied on their parents to buckle their shoes and read them to sleep each night, Zari took care of it herself and more often than not, took care of her twin brother. He was her other half, and she was always the brains looking out for him and making sure that he was okay. As she grew older, Zari came into her own and started to learn how to play her cards in the social scheme of the world. Men didn't want women to be smarter than them, to be better than them. Such a gentle patriarchal society they lived in. Zari would tone it down, but still maintain her power and her abilities.
High school was a coming of age for Zari, as it tends to be for most people. She joined the dance squad and was at the top of her class. It was also when she started to really notice boys in high school. Sure, she had small crushes when she was younger, but high school was a huge step from prepubescent boys and her silly romances. High school taught Zari a lot. It taught her about the social hierarchy of the world and how love was a fleeting feeling and was more accurately called lust. She still hung out with her brother, but things were different. Zari became the Queen B and she dated almost every guy on the football team. Though, no one dared to call her any derogatory names, because she was known to take people down a peg and ruin their reputations.
College was something different, altogether. And it was here that Zari really started to miss her twin, since they went to different schools. Zari wasn't Queen B anymore and people didn't care who she was or that her family had money. She was a single fish in a sea and she felt like she had been hooked by a fisherman only to be tossed back into the ocean, left to sink to the bottom. Zari had never felt so helpless in her life. That was until she was invited to a sorority party and she ended up pledging. Her family name was known there, her wealth acknowledged. Hazing wasn't allowed, but after doing a couple of the sisters' homework, she became a full-blown member. She was finally back on top, plus she finally had something other than her studies. She was happy and excited to finally put herself back out there. Bossing people around and having her pick of all of the hot fraternity boys.
And after countless sleepless nights and a lot of hard-work, Zari graduated with a degree in political science from Stanford University. It was during this time that Zari realized that she had an interest and passion for helping people, and after looking over the best programs within the country, she packed her bags and took off to New York City where she had applied and got accepted to Fordham University's law program. Between being a student and having duties as a law clerk, it was exhausting and overwhelming for Zari but worth it once she graduated and passed the bar at the age of twenty-six. Upon graduating, she became lucky. There was an opening at one of the most prominent firms in the city and she landed the position. Soon after, she began gaining a reputation by providing aggressive and diligent legal representation to her clients. Her success in the courtroom carried outside of it, too.
By the time she settled into her career, she snagged the attention of one another prominent figure in her line of work, a young top-notch lawyer she heard so much about and a man who worked his way up within his own firm. It seemed like natural selection made the pair come together and it just made sense. And, for the first time in her life, Zari fell in love. Being so focused on building her career, their new relationship caught her by surprise, though she welcomed it with open arms. And not long after, they were married and living a life of privilege. Though, that all changed when she found out that her husband was cheating on her. And at first, she honestly didn't know what to make of any of it. The picture perfect image she had of him and their marriage was cracked. Feeling the control of her personal life slipping out of her hands, Zari decided that the best option for her would be to file for divorce. Afterwards, she had completely cut ties with him and although it hurt her emotionally, Zari thought it would be for the best.
Once the divorce papers were signed, Zari moved to the other side of the city, getting away from the memories that she had of their life together. She found a decent sized penthouse, got a dog after wanting one for so long and buried herself in her work, not knowing what else to do. She worked her way up the ladder, becoming a partner to the firm when she was in her early thirties. In her line of work, she dealt with a variety of cases. Though, she became known around the city for the pro bono work she tended to do, usually with young mothers that didn't necessarily have the money to pay her, or teenagers in foster care that needed some kind of representation. Zari always had a soft spot for the underdogs, and she was damn good at what she did. Something she carried with her when she decided to move to Kismet Harbor, Oregon when she was in her late thirties.
In between working her day job and spending time with her loved ones, Zari found a deep affection and love for traveling. And it was one of the reasons why she found herself in Kismet Harbor. She fell in love with the town and knew she needed to move there. Zari thought it would be the perfect place to plant some roots and focus on more pro bono cases. After leaving her coveted position as a partner at her old firm, she found herself landing a position at Legal Lighthouse. It was hard for her to find her place within her new work environment, but she eventually found her footing and worked her way up once again. Zari was so committed to her work that her co-workers joked that she was married to it. And truth be told, she couldn't deny it.
Despite the knowledge that her marriage had long since been over, she struggled to connect with anyone new, uninterested in relationships. It was the major reason that she completely missed all the signs that a friend of a friend had been trying to get her to go out on a blind date for over a year. Only when it was spelled out for her, did she finally consider going on a date with a friendly gentleman named Russell Jones, pushing herself to step outside of her comfort zone and get back into the dating world. Despite the initial awkwardness, the whole date was great. They drank, they played some ice breaker games at the bar, and when it was time to go home, she left with him. He had been quite charming towards her the whole night. Before long, she found herself dating him. It wasn't even a year into their relationship when he proposed. Zari happily accepted and she found herself getting married a second time. She yet again was the picture perfect wife and her marriage looked like it was right out of a Hallmark movie. At least, on paper.
Behind closed doors and known only to her husband, it wasn't the same relationship as the years went by. Her spouse was always gone because of his demanding career and she felt neglected. That only intensified when her husband forgot a milestone anniversary, having a late night at the office and missing their dinner reservation. Whether or not Russell had been as faithful to her as she was to him, she didn't know. And what once was a comfortable and healthy relationship turned into something else.
It started out innocent, Zari just wanted to have a girl's night out. Instead, she met someone else and she couldn't deny that they had instant chemistry between them, but Zari knew that she was married so she refused to give in to temptation in fear of becoming just like her first husband. Zari tried to tell herself that she was off limits. However, the heart (or, well, the body) wants what it wants and despite her best effort to keep her head above the water and stay out of trouble, the situation escalated from a one night stand into a full blown affair. Romance wasn't part of her plan - but she simply couldn't deny that there was something there between them. He filled an itch in need of being scratched and her feelings for him were growing stronger by the minute.
But common sense finally set in and Zari knew that having an affair while she was married was wrong. Zari also knew that getting caught in a cheating scandal while she was married would do incredible damage to her reputation and if anyone caught a whiff of their relationship, her career could be tarnished. And even worse, she'd been lying about it to both her husband and the man she was having an affair with. Knowing she needed to do the right thing, she confessed to both men, which resulted in telling her husband that she felt stuck in her marriage, wanting to end things. And not wanting to hurt any more people, she decided to also end her affair. Eventually, she hoped it would all be for the best. Like it was the first time.
As of now, she's throwing herself into her work while also trying to spend a lot of time looking for a new place as she stays in the guesthouse of her and her husband's home. Even if everything hasn't all been sunshine and roses for Zari, in the end, she ended up achieving what she'd wanted from a young age - making a name for herself and having a successful career. Though, she still lingers over her "what-ifs" in life.
other: (X), (X), (X), (X), (X), (X)
pets: N/A
town activities: hands on kismet harbor, joyous journeys, budding minds, just brew it, shelfie squad (volunteer), trivia nights
draw of luck: yes!
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serenityinself · 11 months ago
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I just had the urge to write. I don’t know why or where it came from, but I often find it coming to me like like a truck hurling towards you at 80 miles per hour and you can’t help but be struck. I’m sitting in my beautiful apartment, watching my two lovely pups, and my heart is just really full. I love the holidays, but man are they hard. I get sudden flashbacks of when my dad got sick and the grief overrides everything else. It’s like I’m stuck in a loop until I let myself feel. I remember him being misdiagnosed, not being able to eat during thanksgiving and being in extreme pain. And my dad never complained. The doctors often had to adjust his pain scale cause they knew his 2 was really an 8. And they said it was something easy and curable, I had a really bad intuition feeling that it wasn’t. And 3 weeks later, he was diagnosed with an incurable cancer. Those moments changed the rest of my life.
I’ve been hearing the word kismet a lot lately. More than usual. What a small word, 6 letters, but it carries so much. Words are crazy like that. Like, almost, 6 letters but it consists of the pinpoints that someone’s fate alters. Things almost could have been one way or another. I think almost provides a safety net for what people are too scared to find out about because they’d have to leave comfort to do it. The almosts don’t have to be almosts. Kismet is controlled by our actions, the Universe gives us options, what we’re ready for and we aren’t, but it lets us decide. Are you willing to leave your comfort zone to find what you’ve always been looking for?
These week has been a lot of emotions. I tend to serve as everyone’s “therapist friend” and it’s because I give a shit. I have pretty good boundaries these days, and I still make the choice to be there for anyone I can, because I know all to well how it feels not to have anyone and it’s so important to me that noone else feels that way. And I balance it to try to make sure it doesn’t effect me. But sometimes you run into situations where you can choose to either be there for someone or save yourself, and it happens quickly.
This week I went to a going away party for work. And I could tell something was off with one of the newer Attorneys who started a year after me. Almost to the day I had a conversation with her a year prior about her partner, and how she just wasn’t happy. But she was comfortable and her partner was nice. My work is hard. It’s harsh, soul-crushing, and you have the opportunity to change someone’s life but also first hand witness how cruelly the world can treat someone. It’s far from easy. The right people who come to this work, come to be of service. It’s their core beliefs and values that draw them there. But it’s a lot. And to deal with other life changes while dealing with this work, especially in the beginning, is extremely challenging. And she had lost her Brother. Her buddy as she said. They were so close and it clearly crushed her soul, but she hasn’t had time to process the grief cause she hasn’t taken the time to. We sat and I wiped her tears for hours while she just cried. It was so fucking heartbreaking. But she literally looked at me grabbed me and asked if we could go outside, and then she just took a deep breath, looked at me and balled. And she shared all these things with me. I’ve had maybe 10 one on one convos with her, but whenever I see her not being recognized at work, I always try to hype her up. A big part of what’s making this all so hard is that she’s with someone who just doesn’t get it and she’s processing having a half fulfilling relationship while dealing with this job and loss. And it really just made me think about how we as humans just get so lost in comfort. We settle because it’s easy, but really we’re just cutting ourself short.
And maybe I’ll end up alone, and searching for the rest of my life, but one thing I’ve decided is that I won’t settle. In any area of my life. I refuse. I will keep growing, loving, saying yes to new experiences. I won’t accept half loves from friends, lovers or anyone else. Life is too short for that.
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anthonybialy · 1 year ago
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Stanley Cup Jacked As Buffalo Fans Enjoy New Indignity
Everyone knows life sucks conceptually.  But then you endure uncommon torment in action to really learn.  Jack Eichel taught the lesson to demand whatever you want.  A reward for dodging adversity is exactly what Buffalo’s sports enthusiasts would expect as long as it involved fleeing.  Anticipation doesn’t mean watching that trophy hoisted by that team’s member any less wrenching.  There are levels to losing a draft lottery.
Vegas fans have waited so long.  Athletic kismet was finally propitious to all those Nevada natives who waited through an entire presidential election until their beloved club won the title in that sport with ice.  You don’t need to know what the lines mean: just cheer when your side’s number is bigger.
I still feel dreadful for Golden Knights zealots who endured a shaky season before this one where they didn’t make the playoffs.  Even their diehards felt tempted to write off the sagging hockey side and focus on preparing to for the A’s.  But a league that totally didn’t set up a particular expansion franchise for success rewarded fans who stuck with it through one underwhelming season.
A little special encouragement must be the reason Vegas backers skipped sport’s most noble tradition by not booing Gary Bettman.  The Sabres never give their ticket-holders the chance, what with extending the record for missing the playoffs like they’re the expansion team.  Being around since 1970 would seem to disqualify them from claiming such a probationary status.  The other NHL outfit with gold in its color scheme has 11 playoff series wins.  The Sabres have to go back to Derek Plante making Ron Tugnutt a tragic figure to tally as many.
Knowing that Eichel needed perfect circumstances to excel doesn’t change that his name’s going on the Stanley Cup.  The performance was Hasekesque.  Sports reflect character, like how one should stop being a toxic black hole upon getting ransom demands met.  Trying to excuse away his achievement by noting he needed to join an established act offers minimal comfort.  Expecting an innate brat to lead a team instead of just riding along was too much to ask of a generational talent.
A theoretical debate may distract from the latest agony.  Wondering whether Vegas would’ve won if they had kept Alex Tuch is the closest to assuagement we possess at this moment.  A Sabres playoff appearance would be their championship.  It seems impossible to them that one team is bound to win four rounds every year.
Yes, Eichel was a joyless diva who pouted his way out of a chance to be the hockey Josh Allen.  But the Sabres are at fault as well, which is like saying Pat LaFontaine and Alex Mogilny enjoyed a bit of chemistry.  This particular franchise makes couples getting paternity tests on Maury seem functional by comparison.  Slightly less soul-crushing chaos is quite the improvement.
Karma doesn’t care if you think it’s real.  Losing on purpose in order to exploit the draft system tempted fate in an unprecedented manner.  The Sabres are still trying to remember to stop losing.
Reviewing alleged context will surely make our plight seem less horrifying by comparison.  As a reminder, making the playoffs isn’t all that hard, rebuilds shouldn’t take nearly this long, improving from their own awful standard is unimpressive, talent remains underutilized, and a continued upward trajectory is far from certain.  The Sabres are Earth’s last outfit that deserves excuses.  
I’m sure everything will work out next season just like it has in every previous edition.  
Deprived fans craving hope convince themselves that there’s smooth skating ahead like Disco Stu projecting disco record sale trends will continue.  This team’s greatest accomplishment has been convincing some desperate supporters that the current state is undoubtedly promising and bound to improve.  Stockholm syndrome has been renamed Sabres syndrome.
The best-case scenario of Sam Reinhart winning didn’t come true.  Deciding which former players are the least objectionable is our tournament.  The Sabres could really use a freewheeling defenseman like Brandon Montour.
Note things could be worse, and existence takes it as a dare.  Ryan O’Reilly’s Conn Smythe win was supposed to be the nadir for cruelty.  But it turns out that particular hardware choice was nowhere near hitting the bottom.  Drill through the ice like we’re fishing.
We really needed a different kind of woe.  Las Vegas lifting a Cup before Buffalo offers a distraction from how Stefon Diggs has an optional take on what’s mandatory.  If everything regarding sports went wrong because of some diabolical plan by cosmic forces we can’t even comprehend, what would be different?
Buffalo sports fans don’t feel like reviewing how the universe is particularly amused by bedeviling us.  Leave that for your brain to detail on a night when you really need deep sleep before a busy day.  The habit of torturing ourselves over the worst moments is one of the more charming parts of being human.  Bills and Sabres devotees experience the same sensation, only on 5-hour Energy.
Cherish that Bandits trophy.  A lacrosse title will have to distract from hearing Jack’s name.  If you seek fairness, you’re on the wrong planet.  Why did you choose to exist on this one?  Buffalo remains the epicenter of anguish that would seem too melodramatic if scripted.  As a reminder, Rob Johnson has a Super Bowl ring.
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calxwallace · 2 months ago
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Calliope let out a laugh, not so sure if she would bid adieu to Cresthill Meadows for downtown Kismet Harbor. Sure she loved the center, coming here often for shopping and all other necessities, but living there? Parking would be too much of a burden. "I'll stick to Cresthill, if you don't mind. But if you need help moving, I'm your girl." She told him, holding onto a lamppost and swirling around it with a stretched arm. She almost expected stripping pole jokes to befall between them, but when he asked her how she was she flashed him her usual smile, about to feed him a good story to convince him she was fine. Yet when she met his gaze and he asked her how she really had been, the smile dropped. "Guess I didn't wear that façade good enough, hmm?" She sighed, letting go of the lamp post once she stood tall again, walking away from it, slow steps back towards Josiah, but keeping her distance. "Honestly?" A defeated sigh fell from her lips, her shoulders shrugging upwards. "I feel lonely." She told him, hands fidgeting together. "Remember when I broke up with you I told you it had to do with my sister coming to town and that it just messed me up too much? Well, turns out she decided to wait all this time before saying anything to me." She could've had years more with Josiah if she hadn't jumped the gun, and the realisation made the tears well in her eyes. "We got into a fight, I called her out on her treatment of me and I just realised that my entire life I've just had a repeated pattern of being left behind like discarded trash." She let out a laugh, anything to distract her from the fact she got too emotional. "What does it say when your entire family chooses to not be with you since you were a little kid?" Her voice felt heavy, her hand moving up to wipe away at her eye just before a stray tear fell. It wasn't just her family, it was her engagement too. Not hiding the fact he cheated on her whatsoever and crushing her heart. "But you know.. I'm great at my job, so I got that going for me." @josiahhuddington
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Josiah couldn't help but wonder sometimes where things may have gone with them if things had ended differently. He'd always been a 'everything happens for a reason' kind of guy, but just like with most situations, he'd never deny the 'what if' thoughts that sometimes overcame him. He was thankful that regardless there had been no hard feelings, that he and Calliope had been able to stay in touch, been friendly and sometimes even had some flirtatious banter back and forth. It was one of the things he appreciated; it wasn't awkward. He'd respected her privacy when she'd needed it when her sister returned, made sure she was alright and then gave her the space. Though he couldn't help but to find himself laughing with her nearly every time they were together. He didn't say much, instead let her guide him through the crowd, only letting the conversation continue once they were outside. "Yeah, it's definitely freeing." he admitted. "Sometimes too freeing. Almost makes me want to move up here." he laughed, though he looked up, feeling the rain hit his face a little. "How've you been, Cal?" he asked, looking back over at her. "Really." @calxwallace
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get-the-bleach · 2 years ago
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2/7/2023
At 4:50pm on February 7, 2023, Jason passed away in his hospital bed surrounded by his wife and family. Jason was 38 years old. I miss the guy already, but glad he doesn't have to fight anymore. He hated cliches, but he fought to the end. I'm more certain of that than anything.
We FaceTimed with Jason around 3:30pm. It was hard to see him struggling to breathe. That audible gasp is seared into my memory. It reminded me so much of seeing my grandma on her deathbed a few years ago--the face, the gesticulations, the gasping for air, it was all so completely crushing.
Me, Kenneth, and Pat all looked on not knowing what to say. It took a few minutes for me to process what was happening before my eyes. Then the floodgates opened. The tears welled-up and started to stream down my face. I started to lose my breath and got that horrible crying pain you get behind your throat as you try to choke back the tears.
We took turns saying our last words to Jason. Kenneth first, then Pat, then me. When it was my turn to speak, I just cried harder and couldn't compose myself. I had to look away from him. It hurt too much. I looked to the wall for answers that weren't there. I looked anywhere but the phone screen. It hurt to see him like that. For what felt like an eternity, it was quiet. I'm sure it was awkward for everyone as they waited for me to speak. After all this time, I somehow never gave thought to what my last words to Jason would or should be.
"I love you, Jason."
"I wish I was there with you."
It's all I could muster before the next wave of tears started to take over. I'm not sure how I feel about those being my last words. I wish I could've said the thing to bring him back for that brief moment of clarity. To be honest, I'm not sure Jason was even "there" with us. I like to believe he was. I like to believe that his hand squeezing his sister's hand were really him communicating in response to seeing and hearing us, but I just don't know.
I ended up inviting Brent, Eugene, Eunku, and Luuluu to the call. I just needed something to do to put my sadness on hold. I think everyone was a little jarred upon joining the FaceTime. No one got any notice about Jason's actual condition upon joining the call. Like me, everyone had to take a beat to process what they were seeing. Each new invitee meant an awkward silence. Nothing really prepares you for these moments. After a little bit, everyone got comfortable enough to speak up and say their piece. Call it faith, kismet, or sheer coincidence, but we were all available, with no notice, on a Tuesday afternoon to be on that call together. I'm grateful for that.
Our call would eventually be cut short as Jason's condition took a sudden turn and the phone fell backwards pointed to the ceiling. We could hear Ellen shout out "not yet, not yet" and Shandra told us she'd call us back. I think we all knew it, but not a one said anything.
We remained on the call without Jason and made small talk about him and what's been going on with his health as of this week. Ellen texted me and Kenneth about 15 minutes later.
"My brother left the world with his friends by his side."
The eight of us sat there on the call and got to be with Jason in his last moments. I'm happy that we, he, and the family got that. "Closure" isn't a thing, but I am glad that Jason's life was bookended by that call. The eight of us, despite some of our differences, and people going their separate ways over the years, were together like old times. I like to think that Jason fought like hell this week to hang on long enough so we could all have that call with him.
Thanks for fighting, Jason.
I love you and miss you already.
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auroraxjackson · 3 months ago
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Rory had jumped at the chance to travel with Nolan, feeling honored that he asked her to join him. She knew the trip would be emotional at least on part, but she figured getting to travel to a new city in a new state with a friend who she likes to hang out with. She knew it was going to be hard but she also knew she wanted to be there for him in his times of need.
She wouldn't necessarily say she had a crush just yet, but she could feel the potential between them. "Absolutely," she said with a smile, "I'm glad to be here even though I know it's not going to be all sunshine and roses." She nodded, not being able to even imagine the types of feelings he might have surrounding being back in town.
"Still doesn't make it right," she offered, knowing all about the bad parents club, her own father taking top prize in that department. She patted his knee as they sat together in the back of the car, letting him know she was here. "Yeah, I'm down for whatever, it's a new place to explore so I'm good with whatever we get to do." She reassured him, just happy to be included. As they arrived and he helped her out of the car, she smiled at him. "Oh cool, you'd know better than I would if places to go," she said with a soft laugh following him as they checked in got to their room. "The last time I stayed in a hotel was January back in Kismet. When I first checked out the town before settling in."
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Rory was nice, and he was glad they had met and become friends. He was glad she was nice and was cute so he was glad to be around her more for the past few weeks. But Nolan was nervous when he asked her to join him in Nashville. It wasn't going to be a fun trip, but he did give them a few extra days besides the anniversary so he could show her the town.
He smiled at her hand and squeezed it back. It was nice feeling; he liked the support. "It still means a lot to me that you are here," he said as he looked out the windows. His siblings were too busy to come, and he wouldn't have asked them in the first place. He knew they were already around it before and didn't need to be around it again.
He sighed. "It's fine. I am used to it by now." His mother didn't care much after his father got sick and died, and now that all her kids were grown, she wasn't really there. Even more with him since he didn't have a good job. "Okay cool" glad she was okay with it. A short ride later, he arrived, and he helped her out of the car. "I have plans for us to have fun here, too." he looked around as they were not far from downtown. After he walked inside and got them checked into the room and headed toward it. "I haven't stayed at a hotel in a long time..." @auroraxjackson
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gnocchighoul · 4 years ago
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Operation Hot Potato
Summary: 
“See? She’s just a baby~” you coo, gently wiggling the kitten in his face.
Lucifer grimaces. Takes another, larger step back. “If a baby is what you want, I’d rather give you one myself.”
(You bring home a kitten and try to hide her from Lucifer. Unfortunately for you, nothing gets past the House of Lamentation’s resident pet-hater.)
Word Count: 3.6k
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You found a kitten.
Well—kind of. It’s debatable.
You think it’s a kitten. She certainly looks like one—fluffy little thing with snow-white fur, blue eyes, a poofy little triangular head, and the most perfectly pink toe beans you’ve ever had the pleasure of squishing. 
The reason why you’re so hesitant to call her a kitten? 
She breathes fire. Hiccups fireballs. Sneezes flaming hot streams of… well, flames.
You learned that firsthand ten minutes ago, when you nearly got your eyebrows singed off by a particularly dangerous sneeze. All you wanted to do was give her a smooch on her wittle pink nose, you weren’t expecting to get blasted in the face with an orangey-red inferno.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter if she’s a little strange. You’ve sworn your everlasting love to your newfound daughter—your secret daughter that the demon brothers can absolutely not know about under any circumstances whatsoever, because you just know that Lucifer will make you put her back in the wild where you found her.
Your fire-sneezing, bouncing baby girl wouldn’t last another day out in the harsh wilderness (aka the dumpster that you retrieved her from). In the forty-seven minutes that you’ve had her, she’s grown accustomed to belly scratches, sleeping in your bed, and gnawing on only the finest tortilla chips in the Devildom. 
Her name is Tater Tot.
She sticks out like a sore white thumb among your colorful assortment of pillows. Not that she cares. She’s living it up in the lap of luxury. Tater Tot stretches—turns around with every paw in the air, proudly showing off her rotund little baby belly, and mrrps at you.
Its the cutest thing you've ever fucking seen. You just wanna SQUEEZE her. Ugh, who would've guessed that a little trash fire baby would steal your heart so quickly?
And it’s not like you broke the rules and brought home a pet on purpose. Tater Tot had chosen you. By choosing to rummage around in that specific dumpster that you just so happened to walk past on your way home from RAD, Tater Tot had effectively decided that you were to be her new caretaker. 
It’s fate. Kismet. You’ve wanted a pet for so long—dog, cat, dragon, gremlin, doesn’t matter. You’ve spent hours upon hours bitching and moaning to anyone that’ll listen about how badly you’ve wanted a pet to smother with your love. Nobody has been able to escape your woe. Everyone—the brothers, the angels, Solomon, and even your good buddy Diavolo (somehow, Barbatos has managed to evade you) have all been forced to listen to your lamenting about the pet-shaped hole in your heart. 
But finally—finally—your prayers have been answered.
With a fire breathing kitten. 
Oh yeah. Kismet.
You’re fairly certain that Tater Tot has never lived in a house. She had been perfectly content to snuggle up in your school uniform like some kind of tiny, pouch dwelling, heat seeking creature, until you had snuck into your bedroom and closed the door behind you. 
The second you set her on the floor, it was like a switch flipped. Tater Tot had shown off her unnatural strength by flinging her little puffball body around the room like a possessed tumbleweed, spastically crashing around the room and knocking over furniture and keepsakes alike.
You had finally cornered her under your bed and sat peacefully nearby, humming quietly to calm her. It didn’t take long for you to coax her out with snacks—she liked the chips, but passionately disliked the gummy worms—and within twenty minutes you had Tater Tot lounging with you on the bed, rubbing her soft little cheeks into your palm for rubs and scritches. 
You need to come up with a plan to hide your beloved child ASAP. It’s only a matter of time until either Lucifer hauls you off to his room or one of the brothers decides to camp out in yours for the night, and if word gets back to Lucifer that you’re harboring a fugitive animal… Well, favoritism or not, it won’t end pretty.
Though perhaps there is one person who can help you with this little secret.
Satan. The cat-loving fourth brother. 
Man oh man, he’s going to be thrilled with sweet little Tater Tot. You have to be careful though—you reckon that there is a 96% chance that he’ll try to steal her away from you. Trying to juggle custody battles and harboring your secret daughter from Lucifer all at the same time sounds like such a pain.
But… That would still be better than having to put Tater Tot back on the streets.
With the threat of big-meanie-Lucifer looming over you like a particularly gothic and pet-hating phantom, you come to a final decision. You’re just going to have to pull on your big girl pants and accept the soul crushing truth of the situation.
Satan is your only hope. 
But how are you going to sneak your daughter all the way over to his room?
You look around your own room for something, anything that can hide your beloved dumpster pet and—ohohoho.
 ~
“Darling?” 
You freeze midstep.
Busted.
“What’s up, Lucifer?” You try so hard to keep your voice calm and normal. So hard. 
Judging by the way Lucifer looks at you, you’ve failed. And you were so close. Satan’s bedroom is literally right there! Only a few yards away! If only you’d just had ten more seconds to yourself in the dark hallway... Alas, the warden your beloved Lucifer aka the resident pet hater stands between you and the dusty salvation that is Satan’s library of a bedroom.
You shuffle your feet a bit nervously. Readjust your grip on the cardboard box. A bit warily, Lucifer eyes it.
“What’s in the box?”
You panic. “What box?” 
Fuck.
Lucifer cracks a smile, though it doesn’t meet his gaze. He gestures to the cardboard box that you are currently holding near to your chest like some sort of ugly, cubic liferaft. 
“Oh!” You laugh. It’s too high pitched. Suspicious. “This box? It’s just some books for Satan, it’s nothing—”
The box sneezes.
Your mouth snaps shut and you thank all the fucking stars in heaven that this sneeze didn’t flambé you.
Lucifer’s eyes narrow accusingly. Tone icy and sharp, he says, “Books? Is that so?” 
Fuck fuck fuck fuck—
You wilt a bit under the intensity of his gaze. “They’re… cursed books? Yeah, so cursed and dangerous and only Satan knows how to nullify the evilness of these books so I’m gonna just slip past you—”
Lucifer takes a step to the left, planting himself firmly in your path and effectively thwarting your desperate grand escape. A single blade of moonlight cuts through the curtains and slices through the shadows, Lucifer now caught in the spotlight and—oh that fucker did that on purpose. Ugh, what a drama queen.
Red eyes practically glowing in the dark, he nods menacingly at the box. “Go on then. Open it.” 
“I dunno, I really shouldn’t because of the curses and—”
Clearly not in the mood to entertain your scheming-slash-rambling, Lucifer takes matters into his own hands. Before you can twist away, one of his hands darts out to knock the lid off of the box and—
Books. It’s filled with books.
He frowns. Lifts one up and—nope, there’s just more books underneath. “...What?” 
“Happy? Now if you don’t mind I really should get—”
“Let me help you with that.”
Your reflexes aren't fast enough. Before you can leap back or Sparta kick him away, Lucifer plucks the box right out of your arms… and reveals a squirming lump beneath your sweater, right inbetween your breasts. The box hits the floor. Lucifer stares at your newly acquired mass with a very particular sort of horror that you’ve never seen before. 
You panic. Again.
“...I grew a new boob. I think the Devildom air is toxic or something, but it’s okay! The more the merrier, right? We can still—gET YOUR HANDS OFF MY TIDDIES—”
Lucifer presses one hand to your lower back, trapping you, and yanks down your zipper, revealing the purrito that is wrapped kind-of-securely to your chest with a scarf. He recoils backwards, looking equal parts horrified and peeved off.
Time for Plan B.
93% sure that you can still recover from this situation that is rapidly soaring downhill, you stuff your hands into your pockets and then throw them outwards, flinging fistfuls of rainbow confetti into the air. “Surpriiiise! You’re a daddy! Say hello to our daughter.”
“No.”
“Her name is Tater Tot. Personally, I think she takes after you.”
The Tater in question shimmies out of her silky prison and tumbles nose first into your palms. You hold her right up to Lucifer’s face, grinning like a goddamn sociopath when he takes an alarmed step backwards. Little puffball paws desperately try to swipe at his nose. Lucifer looks downright offended by the assault of pink toe beans.
“See? She’s just a baby~” you coo, gently wiggling the noodle-limp kitten in his face.
Lucifer grimaces. Takes another, larger step back. “If a baby is what you want, I’d rather give you one myself.”
“As fun as that sounds, we have a perfectly good one right here!” 
“That thing is not a baby. Where did you find it?” 
There’s a concerned little scrunch in his brow that you wanna smooth over with your thumb, but when you try to close the distance between you two, he moves further out of reach. Frowning, you hug Tater Tot to your chest. She snuggles her face into the crook of your neck and purrs like the smallest biodiesel engine in all of the realms.
“I found her in a dumpster!” you say, perhaps a bit too proudly. 
Lucifer’s eyes widen. “In the city?”
“Why is that so shocking? Does the Devildom not have stray cats?” 
“That’s not a cat.” 
“Well yeah I kinda figured, what with the whole fire breathing thing and all, but—”
“It’s a chimera.” 
You stare at Lucifer. Try to gauge how serious he’s being. Tater Tot nibbles on your thumb with little needle-like teeth. 
Surely he’s joking. 
“...Like the lion-goat-lizard thing? That chimera?” 
Lucifer nods. 
Like you’re in some twisted version of the Lion King, you hold Tater Tot up in the beam of moonlight that Mr. Doom and Gloom had previously been occupying. Examine her totally normal kitten-features. The distinct lack of goat hooves. Miss Tater licks her nose. A Chimera? Her?
Surely he’s fucking with you.
But… it would explain the whole fire-breathing thing. Kind of. You’re not fully convinced he’s lying, but the truth doesn’t make much more sense.
But if she is a chimera… that’s so badass.
If Lucifer thinks for one second that Tater Tot being a nightmarish Hell creature is going to scare you into giving her up, then he is sorely mistaken. (You did choose to date him, after all. You're an expert at loving on Hellish beings.) At the end of the day, whether Tater is a chimera or a cat or whatever the hell else, you’ve already bonded with each other. She’s your baby and you are not going to let him get rid of her. 
If he gets Cerberus, then you get your funky little Tater Tot, dammit.
Lucifer watches this journey of emotions play out on your face. His eyes narrow. He says your name slowly, strained—a thinly veiled warning in his voice.
The grin that overtakes your face can only be described as evil. 
“We’re keeping her.”
“Absolutely not.” 
 ~
“You can’t be serious.” 
From the depths of your blanket fort, your hand emerges to flip Lucifer off. He scowls. 
“This blanket fort is only for Tater Tot and me.”
“Then perhaps you should relocate to your bed.” Lucifer growls.
You snuggle further into the black sheets cocooning you. With impressive speed, you had raced back to Lucifer’s room and stripped every piece of fabric from his bed in record time. From there, it was simply a matter of combining the dark sheets with a bunch of pillows and voila. You had created your very own anti-Lucifer fortress, right in the middle of his bed. 
Tater Tot army-crawls across your thigh and worms her way into the sheets, vanishing like a ninja.
"What?" You peek at Lucifer through a small opening in the fabric. “But then you would just ignore me and Tater Tot.” 
“Yes, exactly. I’m glad that we’re on the same page.”
“No! We’re not on the same page at all,” you scowl. “I’m not moving until you bond with her.” 
“Then I suppose you’ll be stuck there forever.” 
“Maybe I will!”
You can’t see him right now, but you know in the depths of your heart that Lucifer is rolling his eyes at you. 
Which, y’know. Fair. You are being a little bit ridiculous. But what choice do you have? The confetti didn't work and Lucifer needs to form an everlasting bond with Tater Tot. He needs to experience how lovely and precious and wonderful your little baby is, so that he won’t make you put her back in the dumpster where you found her.
You have one last tactic. It is by far the absolute worst. 
Talking to him. Like some kind of functioning, responsible adult, because apparently that's what you're supposed to do in a healthy relationship. Blegh. 
While you agonize over stooping to this final resort, Lucifer climbs into the bed without a word and settles himself in like he owns the place. Which he does. But that’s beside the point. 
One of your arms emerges from the blanket shield to poke at his pajama clad thigh. He doesn’t react. So naturally, you poke him again. And again. And again, until finally he sighs, “What?”
You squirm your way out of the stuffy blankets, gulping down air once you're free—sweet baby Jesus, fresh air has never felt so good—and Tater Tot flies out after you, rocketing across the mattress at the speed of light and tumbling around like a little white pom pom. While she does her own thing, you worm your way into Lucifer’s side so that you’re halfway on top of his chest. He huffs and lays there like a board, refusing to hug you, so you grab his arm and wrap it around your shoulders yourself.
Here goes nothing. 
“Why are you so against having a pet?” you ask, dancing the pads of your fingers over his chest.
Lucifer cracks one eye open. “The first and last time I allowed pets in the house, Satan brought home 48 cats. In one hour.” 
...You really should have seen that one coming.
“Oh. Well, I mean… Is that reallyyy a bad thing—ow! You jerk, I was just kidding.” You pout. “You didn’t have to pinch my butt that hard.” 
Lucifer snickers and pats your butt consolingly. “Mmm, no, I didn’t. But I wanted to.”
Briefly, you consider headbutting him right in the chin. But alas, that wouldn’t solve anything, so you settle for pressing a kiss to his collarbone, then reach a hand up to play with his hair, just how he likes. It’s not very ~vengeful~ buuut it’s bound to put him in a better mood. 
You trace cutesy little heart shapes on his right pec. “You know what I want?”
Lucifer closes his eyes—lets his head fall back onto the mattress. “We’re not keeping her.” 
You snuggle into his chest with a happy little hum. “Yes we are.”
“...Just for the night. Tomorrow you're putting her back where you found her."
 ~
You wake up in agony. 
It feels like you’ve had a lung ripped out and replaced with serrated knives. Or shark teeth. Each breath drags oh so painfully at your—just kidding. 
You wake up well rested and tangled in the bedsheets, your head hanging off the side of the mattress. You’re a little hazy-brained and your skull feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, but that’s probably because of all the blood rushing to your head. When you roll over and haul yourself back up onto the bed, a noise escapes you that is definitely not fit for polite company.
The murky depths of slumber threaten to take you again, so you pat around the bed with your hand, looking for your favorite demon-slash-body pillow. You pat. And keep patting. Where the hell is Lucifer?
You crack one bleary eye open, trying to find Lucifer and—
Where the hell is Tater Tot?
Your heart jolts in your chest as you realize a few things all at once.
One: Lucifer is missing. 
Two: Tater Tot is missing.
Three: You slept through breakfast, but that’s less important. 
You’re off like a shot, wrestling yourself out of the sheets and flinging them to the floor, then stumbling across the room to get to the door before your brain can even fully wake up. It’s fine, you don’t need 100% brainpower, you just need to find your baby. 
You’ve barely taken four steps into the hallway when you slam nose first into Mammon. He catches you, saving your face from becoming acquainted with the floor, and you grab him by the leathery lapels of his jacket. 
“Where’s Lucifer?!” you hiss.
Mammon desperately tries to squirm out of your feral grip. You shake him like a polaroid picture.
“Geez, knock it off would ya?! He’s in his office, what the hell is up with you? Wh—HEY! I’M NOT DONE TALKIN’ TO YA!”
Whatever the Weenie has to say to you is less important than finding your child, so as soon as you acquire Lucifer’s location, you haul ass to Lucifer’s study.
 ~
In a raging fury that could rival Satan’s existence, you fling open the door, ready to tear Lucifer a new one for not even letting you say goodbye to your beloved kitten and—
And your heart melts into a warm, gooey puddle. 
Lucifer is sitting at his desk. Tater Tot is draped across his shoulders.
Lucifer glares at you, but there's no real bite in his gaze. “Keep it down, Phobos is sleeping.”
You blink stupidly, your brain racing at a thousand miles an hour to catch up with whatever the hell you’re currently feeling that has you all mushy and moon-eyed. “Phobos? What the hell? That’s not her name at all.” 
“My love, we are not naming our daughter after potatoes. Her name is now Phobos. She and I came to a mutual agreement that it is far more fitting of a name for a creature of her pedigree.”
...You’re so torn. On one hand, you want to argue that Tater Tot is a lovely name for your dumpster kitten-chimera-thing, but on the other hand… he called her ‘our daughter’. As in your guys’s daughter. This can only mean one thing, and you clutch at your heart when you realize what’s happening.
They bonded.
It damn well might bring a tear to your eyes.
You make your way over to Lucifer, shove aside the papers on his desk, and perch your happy ass right on the hardwood.
With a bone deep sigh, Lucifer leans back in his chair. “Why do you always do that? My lap is available, you know.”
Tater Tot wakes up and lifts her heavy little sleep-addled head to meep at you.
You grin—hook your ankles around the armrests of his chair and pull him closer. “So… does this mean we’re keeping Tater Tot?” 
“... Yes, we’re keeping Phobos. But that’s it, no more pets.”
“Okay, wait. Hear me out. What about a dog?”
“Absolutely not.”
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Lucifer plucks another white hair from his RAD uniform and holds it up to the moonlight, scowling at the offensive thing. Why in all the realms did you have to find a white cat? The damned thing has only lived with you lot for two days and yet somehow its hair has already gotten over every article of black clothing in his wardrobe. It’s infuriating.
His gaze wanders across the courtyard to where you’re sitting pretty on Beel’s shoulders, clawing at his face with your fingertips and screaming in terror at how high up you are. He grins. 
He can put up with the shedding fur, so long as he gets to see how your eyes shine like the stars when you see Phobos.
Still though. Why couldn’t you find a black kitten? 
“Lucifer! There you are!” 
Lucifer flicks the cat hair—lets the breeze catch it and float it away. Before he can even get a proper greeting in, Diavolo is pulling him in for a bone crushing hug.
“You’re here a bit later than usual. How’s life with the new kitten treating you?” Diavolo asks.
Lucifer steps out of the hug and eyes Diavolo warily. “Just fine, thank yo—wait. How do you know about the cat?”
Diavolo blinks innocently. “Surely you told me about her, didn’t you?” 
No, he definitely did not—oh no. 
Lucifer stares, slack jawed and horrified, because in that moment, he realizes something that he refuses to accept.
No.
No. It can’t be.
Diavolo would never do that to him. He would ne—oh fuck, he absolutely did.
Diavolo planted the cat. He knew that you would find her in that dumpster and take her home.
Lucifer has never known a betrayal quite like this. Diavolo says something about heading off to his office, but he doesn’t hear him over the rushing in his ears.
“Diavolo.” 
The demon prince in question pauses in his escape to look back at Lucifer. “Yes, Lucifer?”
“Why did you have to pick a white cat?”
And oh, Diavolo laughs. A full belly laugh that quite honestly kills Lucifer. Just a little bit.
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