#and whatever the fuck the orb is now (spoiler: it's whatever the game needs it to be instead of making sense)

[galedekarios]

larian truly revealing bit by bit how they actively chose to make their game worse

[snailfen]

rivulet experience Update: morb orb

[tiredassmage]

so there's a lot going on in act iii of baldur's gate. that's not news, lol. but if i don't start writing down my blorbo thoughts about it somewhere, they're gonna become as murky as my quest log trying to complete it all.

and ambrose has really, really become my blorbo for the game i think. which is fantastic, i missed him, she unlocked new gender since her first iteration i had a while ago, he is not having a great time!!! but there's some really interesting things coming together as companion questlines come to their close with her and. i need to gnaw on it like a bone. [so, spoilers naturally ahead.]

part of it requires me to do a lil bit of a setup since i haven't put a lot about her backstory in posts. i don't think i've really done any of such things, so! ambrose is my wild magic sorcerer, my sweet darling angel, my sweet bean finally attempting to leave the abusive teachings that raised her right as the whole mindflayer abduction business was seeing a massive growth spurt, and so thus added tadpole problems to trying to unlearn apologizing for existing wrong related to her magical talents in addition to changing his name and having an identity exploration era shorn of the master that raised her and trained her and her talents for a very specific purpose.

in short, ambrose is more familiar seeing himself as an ice- and lightning-magic inclined runepowder bomb who is somehow both... dangerously competent at her own magics as well as inherently incapable of truly controlling them. in short, a lot of internalized feelings of never being good enough, regardless of which path or action he decided to take. his one bastion of trust in it all was a paladin that grew up with her named ysabel - and ysabel is the one that got them both out of their home (if you can loosely call it such) and to baldur's gate in the first place. [you're going to ask me what happened to her and i'll admit right now, i have... not decided. which i also thought i would've done by this far in, but... here we are. <.>]

naturally, becoming the leader of a merry band of tadfooled misfits didn't exactly factor into that plan and it was... frankly overwhelming. and terrifying. as if everything they were encountering wasn't terrifying. ambrose can be timid. she's used to saying "yes" to things on reflex, because "no" wasn't particularly allowed. or feasible.

and in an attempt to keep nearly the whole game's worth of experience semi-short as just an introduction, ambrose has been particularly gifted at haphazardly discovering ways to do things i had not found in the previous like 200 hours of playing, lol. so, he's been challenged plenty. and a lot of it has been "do it downright fucking scared."

he fell first for shadowheart, which is not what i would've expected, but i think her 'take no shit' attitude, for... a failure on my part to think of a better way to describe it in this exact moment, does a lot for ambrose and i think... might've been part of the appeal. ysabel's guidance was... similar, though a bit softer. but they share a quality of not being willing for ambrose to simply lay down and take whatever is pushed on her. [it did, admittedly, intimidate ambrose at first. i almost didn't think they'd quite get along.] but then ambrose is also... well, kind of a sad puppy, tbh. and just. genuine in asking questions, when he does. i think... it's a slow process of trying to give to others the space she didn't quite have, growing up. this whole process of... being able to share freely that she cares, what he likes and doesn't like is... still pretty new. so it's... as helpful for her as it is trying to be helpful for his companions.

and then... gale and her are so painfully alike in circumstance, if not motivation. ambrose sees mystra's request and his battle with the orb in his chest a lot like her own training. ambrose's content of study still makes her feel more an acolyte than a soldier, but there's no denying that he was a weapon, meant to be handled as thing of war [with the resulting backfired fireball-related injuries concealed under long sleeves to accompany it]. it breaks her heart when gale sounds so resigned and defeated. ambrose doesn't want gale to resign himself to being what she was made to be by choice. but he also doesn't want gale's own ambition and rose-tinted askance of forgiveness to turn around and bite him. the fate of the crown of karsus is their most recent point of contention.

and astarion and her have been butting heads for a while now, but they've also made progress. i'm not sure they ever had a great understanding of one another, but ambrose figured enough to at least think astarion was hurting, too. just... being a vampire's snack pushed on her own fears and traumas around autonomy and control of her fate. again, astarion i think... did scare her with that whole... little incident one night at camp, but. it was important for them to have a conversation for ambrose. astarion at the time i think was still a bit allergic to being so open and vulnerable with feelings, but ambrose didn't ask to speak with him after really expecting that to change. she just needed to get across why she'd said no, and why that was important to her. he wanted astarion to stay - they are all in this together - but. he... might've gotten a fireball in the face if he'd tried again. he got a little lucky she didn't smack him with one in fright the first time. she didn't want to have to, but. she would. if it kept her feeling safe.

and i think those are the three stories i've touched on lately in act iii that are really getting me in my feelings. after a very unceremonious and startling entrance into the city that saw ambrose sign a deal with raphael - which just. agonizes me, honestly. because it's a decision she made absolutely fucking terrified. a decision he knows has no good consequences for anybody in the end. but i think it's one that came down to ambrose being more afraid of the emperor than of raphael. to be clear, he's terrified of both. but they've dealth with hellish types before on this little journey, right???

[she does not, actually, have a plan for how that's going to work out. it does, in fact, hurt and scare him that such a decision disappoints practically the entire camp.]

karlach especially oh my god i don't think i'm done crying about that reaction. ouuuuggggh. anyway. before i get entirely derailed wailing off a cliff about it. karlach thankfully has an idea and ambrose somehow pulled off the actual performance of her life lying to the emperor about making a deal at all, so stay tuned for our future visit to the house of hope to see how that all goes down.

but! we have concluded... the house of grief and cazador's palace now, so! i can now say with certainty ambrose has killed someone for her girlfriend, which is kadnfl;dsfnl; not a sentence i ever thought i'd be writing. sure, they've been in plenty of battles, but shadowheart left viconia's fate up to ambrose and... i admit i'm a little surprised he went in for a definitive kill, but also... thinking about it, i think... it is because she's seen how shadowheart has hurt so much and for so long under shar's gripping hold, and here is the person that helped facilitate that. here is someone that treated shadowheart... not exactly like how ambrose was raised, but far too similar to ignore.

and that sort of... taken with continuing to push back on gale, to question more and more plainly if that path to the crown really ends in anything good for gale, let alone the rest of them, and... still pressing astarion about right and wrong and who are we, really? is all just... a culmination of the journey. asking wyll to break his contract so soon after she caved to one with raphael felt hypocritical, but it's advice given out of a place knowing ambrose didn't make hers for the right reasons - if there is such a thing in dealing with the hells.

that deal might have been rock bottom, and i wonder if seeing these places where maybe he can still help his friends is... sort of the switch back to hope she desperately needed, especially right now. part of what i think i'd already had to start slip in regards to ambrose's deal with raphael is... it was also made in a place of there was no one 'better' in the party but her for such a role. he was already raised in a role far beyond himself, something sacrificial in one way or another. she doesn't like it, he'd been trying to finally free himself from those shackles when this all started, but she hadn't really felt like she'd made it. so it was... resignation, in a lot of ways. before the horror of what it was got a grip back on her.

and then orin got her claws around gale, and ambrose i don't think has before reacted so strongly with anger and desperation. it didn't matter in that moment what orin was capable of, only that she had gale, and ambrose needed to see him safe again. and she wasn't keen on taking on gortash - not yet. the foundry is... a lot to go up against, and... somehow strolling into a den of murderers felt really possible in that moment of anger - more so than strolling into gortash's office for more than a chat or taking on the entire city, it felt like, in going after the steel watch. and this... came up before i'd turned sights on actually going after viconia and cazador, so that. might have played into those decisions, too, i reckon.

maybe ambrose has finally given up enough. maybe she's done with being scared, being bound to that expectation that she is, that he should be. sure, plenty of enough of what they have yet to do is scary, it is no walk in a park with cake, but... these are his friends. none of them have turned away from him even with a less than stellar choice this far in. she still has shadowheart, and halsin and them have grown closer.

and i just hAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT IT. MY SWEET ANGEL... GROWTH! I THINK!

the idea of defying raphael is still. ouu that's. that's terrifying. but. but they've taken down orin now, too, right? something would have to give eventually between this deal and seeing gale's mission through anyway, right? right??? i'm rooting for her to nuke raphael. she's got this. might not know it yet, but she's got it.

[the-chessboard-is-personal]

trying this now! liveblog but in one reblog under cut. THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS SO PLEASE PLAY THE MOD FIRST I CANNOT RECOMMEND ENOUGH THAT YOU DON'T READ THIS UNTIL AFTER YOU PLAY THE MOD‼️ also LONG long post-

oh, and. I'm calling this a mod bc I downloaded the fabric (.jar) version. I can confirm there IS a datapack though.

7:59 PM

uhh..neat. gonna make a new survival world on easy because I'm not. good at the game. also some stuff to know I play with subtitles on and cheats will be off for this world, also I'm listening to fantasy high in the bg so that might lessen the experience but they're in the nightmare forest so maybe not.

8:03 oh new bar. immediate guess is either thirst or sanity

8:07 probably sanity huh? goes down in darkness goes up in light OH FUCK WHAT ABOUT NIGHTTIME. wait I can use charcoal to make torches

8:14 the overall sense of urgency is UNNERVING. what I don't know (what happens when the bar goes down) and what I DO know (nighttime is approaching fast and darkness makes the bar go down) makes a wonderful bout of that good kind of stress.

8:19 I have a temp base. it's nighttime but I have torches, I left a hole open for if there's like. oxygen? in this mod? but it's a bit off the ground to counteract baby zombies. gonna make a mine since I only have 2 wool. I have a good amount of food since i spawned near a river and got like 30 fish found out it's 3 or less light that The Bar goes down at

8:30 first piece of iron, found a water cave underneath y30 so NOT staying in there long. but I got an iron from it. I want to experiment with The Bar. but not without a bed

8:39 okay travelling again. tHREE??

??????? is this the mod or. how rare is this

8:47 went through a whole cave. no iron

8:52 WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT VOIC- oh wait I have fnaf caves on

9:05 huh. the light threshold for The Bar decreasing is 5 now. I need to sleep. I need NEED wool. I have full iron but I desperately need wool

9:20 so The Bar also goes down by one when I get hit? also I'm confused about the symbol on The Bar, it's like. an orb?

9:41 what the FUCK do you rnean "Eerie noise?" ?? WITH the question mark. hhhokay why have the subtitles become an unreliable narrator now..? I. I need a permanent base. like right now

9:57 what is that.

WHAT IS THAT.

10:04 I got a good picture of it. wish I could like. journal it gravity falls style but I don't have my phone to make art so whatever gonna call it the Gramophone NEVERMIND IT'S CALLED A PARACUSIA. and it doesn't seem very friendly :(

10:22 okay...so it doesn't straight up attack you. AT FIRST. also there's a chance it alerting gave me a permanent -1 to The Bar okay no it didn't. I am going to get a spyglass though AND I GOT A GOOD SCREENSHOT OF IT!!

it looks so cool,, it looks sculky also.

something interesting about the Paracusia is that.. it doesn't have a hitbox. and

huh.

(took a bit of a break to talk to my housemate about this because HWOAGH it's so cool.)

10:59 still no idea what The Bar is for. icon reminds me of a heart of the sea though

11:55 nothing's really..happened, but I got some more iron, went through another cave etc. I want to live in an ancient city. I did find deepslate coal but I don't have silk touch so.

12:59 AM, next day. okay I tried to fight a Paracusia, I fled because I didn't have many arrows and the terrain was suboptimal (half-flooded cave). I think if I am to fight one, I want to do so melee, because they're slow and I know I can damage them even without a visible hitbox.

1:13 I found a cherry biome! there should be a deep dark under this mountain so I'll hopefully have a base soon :)

1:20 okay is the amount of creepers spawning natural or is it the mod's fuckery

1:34 knowledge of The Bar is only leading to more confusion, there's a yellow + when it's going up, a yellow - when it's going down, no symbol when it's not changing, but why is there a green - sometimes?

1:38 OH OKAY. having the darkness effect makes The Bar go down. ohhkay. shit. living in an ancient city plan is. going. aough I did find the city though. at least I found that

2:14 I have a base. I'm in the nether. The Bar can't go up here I don't think, so I guess this is where I'll experiment with it.

2:23 I'm at 6 on The Bar, nothing changed so far so I assume if it gets to 0, all the bad that I thought would happen as it depleted is going to happen at once.

2:35 IT'S AN EYE IT'S AN EYE I'M AT 4 BAR AAAAAA WHERE'S MY PORTAL

2:50 OHHH IT IS SANITY. THE ADVANCEMENT?? THE OTHER ADVANCEMENTS IN THE TAB??? THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE FIRST ADVANCEMENT I'VE GOTTEN??????? holy shit this MOD. okay. also. sleeping restores 2 sanity.

3:32 ? a pattern of flashing yellow dots has appeared in the bottom left of my screen. strange...

4:16 good news: the mod doesn't change anything about the Warden. bad news: guess how I know that :)

5:17 the...dots are gone.

5:39 is time going faster?

5:55 that's not a vanilla structure. it's.. there's cracks in the soul sand. ...moonstone. that's from the advancements tab. I have a prediction. something's going to happen when I either A) break the cracked soul sand, B) take the moonstones or C) it gets nighttime.

OH NEVERMIND. got the grimoire! I should probably run now! HOUGH A SPOOK?? A LITERAL SPOOK. IT IS CALLED A SPOOK

I am also very lost. I didn't screenshot my base coords even though I thought I did :,)

6:18 gonna set up a temp base in one of the ruins houses, I'll stay there just long enough to see if I can use a brush on the cracked soul sand

6:39 I knew it. it's giving me mob drops.. HUH?? I got a piece of Necroplasm and then this like. tiny phantom gremlin attacked me lol. I wonder if it was the same Spook that me getting the grimoire summoned? anyway I got the Panic Attack advancement.

6:46 full ruins haul is 3 moonstones, 1 sunstone, 1 necroplasm, 1 eerie and 1 brainy corpsebulb flesh and 2 lysosomes. and the grimoire of course.

7:21 oh hey a village. oh hey a pillager outpo- what is that. oh it's another ruins! I. don't need the grimoire from this one. for if I die and lose my stuff as well, I'm gonna grab the coords of this but I will take the soul sand stuff grimstone? huh.

8:27 okay I have to sleep irl now since I'm gonna be staying up all day tomorrow (15th). I found my base, I got a bunch of stuff, there's new advancements on the tab, I'm gonna take one more day off of my current project because I love this mod. I'll probably rb this again when I have an update, which will be styled like this one

Minecraft horror mod where the documentation for the mod is intentionally misleading and the mod actually does way more weird scary shit than listed while also being very sly about not revealing itself to be intentional in doing so at the same time. Like a backrooms mod where there are actually more sublevels/locations than listed, slightly different versions of monsters, or even stuff that subtly effects areas that are supposed to be outside the area of the mod such as the overworld and nether.

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy VII Review

 Year: 1997

Original Platform: PlayStation One

Also available on: PC, PlayStation Store

Version I Played: PlayStation One

Synopsis:

The Shinra Electric Power Company rules over the city of Midgar, and the eco-terrorists AVALANCHE stop at nothing to try and prevent the life essence of the planet from being used as energy. Barrett, leader of AVALANCHE, hires a mercenary named Cloud Strife for their bombing mission on a Shinra Mako Reactor. Cloud doesn’t care much for the greater cause and only wants his pay. But then, after a mission goes awry, he meets Aerith, a flower girl who is the descendant of the Ancients. He quickly finds himself wrapped up in the greater conflict against Shinra.

 Gameplay:

Final Fanatasy VII utilizes magic spells via Materia – little orbs that come in a variety of colors pertaining to the natural elements. You can mix and match them on your weapons and equipment, which gives you access to different spells and stats. All your equipment varies with the number of slots for how many Materia orbs you can put in. Leveling up not only upgrades the character but the equipped Materia as well.

 Final Fantasy VII also uses an ATB system but is known for introducing Limit Breaks – finishing moves that build up after the character gets hit over time. Final Fantasy VI had a prototype called Desperation Attack – but it was very rare as it only appeared when your character had 1/8 of their total HP, and there was a 1 in 6 chance of performing the Desperation Attack after selecting Attack. I actually had no idea that was a thing until long after I finished the game, and never experienced it when I played Final Fantasy VI.

Graphics:

Out of all the Final Fantasy games, I have to say that this one has not aged well. It has the worst graphics of the entire series. The battle and cinematic graphics are passable.

(Most of the graphics power seemed to be put in Tifa’s, uh, bosom.)

But the characters in towns, the overworld, and in-game cutscenes are incredibly blocky. PC versions are supposedly sharper, but the PlayStation One version makes it nigh impossible to see any facial expressions. 

The graphics are definitely a product of its time. I always say that the beginning of 3D gaming was essentially like puberty – awkward and full of zits. It wasn’t yet at that stage where it could be aesthetically pleasing. We marveled about it when it was first released, yes, but then we cringed in retrospect.

The environment backdrops however are probably the strongest points, where they capture the industrial nature of Midgar, the reactors and other such buildings.

Story:

Final Fantasy VII became legendary the minute Square released it. Every aspect was memorable. Part of it could be due to the fact that it was the first Final Fantasy game to enter the 3D realm. Another part was Tetsuya Nomura’s character designs, which hit the cool meter to the point of sub-zero.

 The cinematics blew our minds. The opening action scene with Cloud, Barrett, and the rest of AVALANCHE attacking Shinra’s mako reactor is the most memorable opening to a Final Fantasy game. Period. Final Fantasy games really do know how to start at the right spot, no matter how good or bad the overall game is. The opening is always the best part.

Then there was the motorcycle chase. Cid’s airship. The gun fights. Battles with Sephiroth. The extra stuff to find, like summons and extra bosses. So much was jam-packed into the game.

 But the story was the primary factor in making VII famous. It’s definitely one of the better ones. Man, the story became so famous that even gamers who haven’t touched a Final Fantasy game knew the major spoilers. It is the equivalent to knowing Darth Vader’s line, “I am your father” without having actually watched Star Wars.

Aerith (Aeris in the English releases) Gainsborough – the innocent flower girl who holds the secrets of the Ancients – develops a romance with Cloud and fucking dies at the end of Disc 1 by the main villain – Sephiroth. The scene shocked everyone and practically made headlines. Everybody has seen the horrible image in one way or another.

It seems to me that since Final Fantasy V, the stories have gotten more and more used to main character deaths, ultimately transforming into a heavy-hitting TV series rather than simply a video game series. In other words – it matured. Looking back, Final Fantasy IV appears to be child’s play and a prototype of later dramatic storylines with fully realized worlds.

 Final Fantasy VII was also the first Final Fantasy game to create a world much like ours – one with cars and trains and airplanes and machine guns and even cellphones. The main city of Midgar reflects industrialization at its worst, with miles of slums and claustrophobic cities. Shinra Electric Power Company is a reflection of capitalism at its worst - a single entity in charge of so much that it’s pretty much the government. For the first time in a Final Fantasy game, you play as characters who dance between the morally ambiguous line of terrorism and activism. Funny enough, the theme of neglecting the planet resonates with us now more than ever. This game ended up being rather prophetic about the uncontrollable growth of corporations.

While the story is memorable with many intriguing elements, the plot itself is a tangled web. In my opinion, they really hashed in so many things that it’s easy to forget crucial details. It’s not straightforward, but at the same time everything does connect by the end. While Shinra is the driving force as a whole as the villain, Sephiroth takes over, then you learn about his backstory and then with the evil scientist Hojo and the extra-terrestrial Jenova and then “Weapon” and then the planet’s history and this and that and the other thing.

If I were to put Final Fantasy VI and Final Fantasy VII together and contrast them, as many gamers do, I would find that Final Fantasy VII is the summer blockbuster and Final Fantasy VI is the Oscar winner. Final Fantasy VII started introducing the sappy romance subplot to the series. A love triangle forms among Aerith, Cloud, and Cloud’s childhood friend Tifa. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with having a love triangle, the writing is like watching middle schoolers trying to express their feelings. Final Fantasy VI and Final Fantasy IV treated any romance with dignity and realism.

But maybe I’m being a bit harsh. After all, Cloud Strife did go through some suffering as an adolescent. His backstory clearly drives his antisocial behavior, so that becomes a good arc. 

The goofiest but memorable part of the story deals with Don Corneo and Wall Market and running around store to store doing tasks in order to free Tifa from Don Corneo. It ends with Cloud needing to cross-dress as a woman to get inside Don’s mansion. Because, you know, it’s not like Cloud can just break in with his sword and Aerith’s magic or anything like that. But whatever. It’s anime.

The recent Final Fantasy VII Remake for the PS4 seems to streamline the story, and actually enhances the emotions they were trying to deliver in the original. I will be talking about the remake in a separate post altogether since I’m almost done with it at the time of this writing. But there’s a lot that I want to say about comparing and contrasting the remake and the original.

The latter half of the plot takes a couple weird turns. At one point, Cloud became catatonic and confined to a wheelchair.

That part of the game became the sluggish part for me. Sephiroth also tries to confuse Cloud, which confused me. Cloud apparently suffers from some alternate subconscious mumbo-jumbo and like. . .ungh. I get an aneurysm thinking about it sometimes.

Complicated plotlines like Final Fantasy VII start showing up from here on out in the Final Fantasy series. The trend of bishonen characters also begin here, bishonen being the Japanese term for “beautiful boy.” Cloud and Sephiroth have that look. The series starts hashing in sappier romances and much more of an anime feel.

Final Fantasy VII ultimately marked the start of a new era for the series – introducing both cool and overused tropes.

Music:

Hands down the best Final Fantasy soundtrack of all.

The entire soundtrack of this game is memorable. The opening tune, with its light twinkle when the stars show up, is enough to make any gamer know exactly what that’s from.

With a story set in a more modern world, we have music that is more modern. After Final Fantasy VI had a more serious and operatic score, Uematsu displayed his love of progressive rock here. The motorcycle chase incorporates a lot of synth, which was fitting for zipping through the streets of Midgar. However, Final Fantasy VII is the first Final Fantasy game without that familiar starting bassline for the battle them. The battle theme is instantly recognizable but also radically different from its predecessors. It’s dramatic and displays danger.

Meanwhile, the boss theme is one of the best boss themes in the series, or any video game really. It’s an electrifying progressive rock piece, and it’s my personal favorite boss theme.

 The more instrumental pieces are somber, given the dreary atmosphere of the planet. The world map music is very different from its predecessors. It’s romantic one moment, soaring the next, and then dips into foreboding terror. I guess that sums up the story of Final Fantasy VII.

And we cannot leave out One-Winged Angel, which I will talk about below.

Notable Theme:

Without a doubt, One-Winged Angel – played during the terrifying final battle against Sephiroth – is the most memorable piece of music in Final Fantasy VII.

It may very well be the most popular song of the entire series. Nobuo Uematsu was inspired by Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring. It’s a whopping 30 something minute classical piece. If you look it up on YouTube and browse through it, you can definitely note the similarities. However, Uematsu didn’t want some boring classical introduction to the piece. He wanted to add the destructive impact of rock. The theme has a very distinct stamping-your-foot-down quality to it.

I had noticed a certain piece-by-piece feel of the song and that’s exactly how Uematsu composed it. This is the only song that Uematsu has composed where he created several tunes in his head and then rearranged them to make a single comprehensive song.

If you want to get technical, One-Winged Angel is the first Final Fantasy song with lyrics. The chorus sings in Latin about Sephiroth’s burning anger, with some lyrics actually taken from the medieval poem Carmina Burana. It sounds fantastic when fully orchestrated.

In Advent Children, the animated sequel to Final Fantasy VII, the music is accompanied by hardcore metal. This new rendition really illustrates the destructive power of Sephiroth. Uematsu changed the lyrics for Advent Children. They are more original now. I specifically noticed the lyrics “Veni, veni, mi fili”, which translates to “Come, come, my son.” Sephiroth is inviting you so he can kill you.

 Uematsu has stated that the original orchestration didn’t sit well with him. As I suspected, Advent Children’s hardcore metal version is the one he preferred, the one he would have composed had he the technology at the time of Final Fantasy VII.

Verdict:

Another must-play for any RPG fan, even if you think it’s overrated. It’s a must-play because of its popularity, in the same way that people are wide-eyed when you say you haven’t seen Star Wars or such-and-such other popular movie. It’s a whole lot of fun, especially in the scenes that involve other forms of gameplay, such as the motorcycle chase and even a battlefield strategy game in protecting Fort Condor. 

Direct Sequel?

Yes – first there was the CGI movie Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

I actually watched Advent Children before playing Final Fantasy VII. I had already known most of what happened in the game and Advent Children became a monumental craze when it first came out. Everybody was talking about it. Watching the sequel before playing the game skewers your interpretation of things. My first impression of Cloud was that he was always whiny and angsty, and meanwhile Tifa kept nagging him to move on. I felt really bad for Cloud losing Aerith.

Then when I actually played Final Fantasy VII, I saw that Cloud starts as this badass mercenary. Tifa is spunky and clearly is the better choice (IMO) but Cloud is enamored by Aerith after only meeting her briefly. WHAT? Cloud. Bro. Make a move on Tifa, you nitwit. Tifa is AMAZING.

 Square Enix then continued the story with Dirge of Cerberus – Final Fantasy VII. This video game sequel focuses on Vincent Valentine, a fan favorite of the original game.

Let me remind you about something – the original game revealed Shinra’s inner deep secret experiments, namely with Sephiroth and Jenova. Dirge of Cerberus introduces an even deeper research team within Shinra called Deepground. I don’t know about you, but it already sounds like the start of a terribly redundant string of sequels, like how the Jason Bourne movies keep revealing an even deeper level of conspiracy theories. Vincent’s mysterious background is now fully revealed. He is defined by – guess what? – another angsty lost lover story, this time with a woman named Lucrecia. Now, okay, look, maybe I’m just being a dick about these types of love stories. But when it keeps popping up within the same series in the same manner, I start asking if you have anything else to offer on your menu.

Lastly, there is the prequel for the PSP – Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII. Of all the games in the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core has received the most positive reception. If anything, play that after playing Final Fantasy VII before bothering with anything else.

 Oh, and of course there is the Final Fantasy VII Remake, which we thought wasn’t going to happen for the longest time but they finally released it in April 2020. More on that later after I finish it, and after I post my entire series of Final Fantasy reviews!

[softcoregamer]

DRAGON QUEST XI S: ECHOES OF AN ELUSIVE AGE - DEFINITIVE EDITION

I've never played a Dragon Quest game before, so all I had to go on with this game was the pretty looking graphics and charming character art by the Dragonball guy, which- combined with having a hankering for a JRPG, a genre I haven't played since probably the Digital Devil Saga games (minus an abandoned most-of-the-way-done playthrough of SMT3 and a partial of one of the Megadimension Neptunias) was enough to sell me on it. I'm having a tough time determining if it was worth it.

(spoilers)

The story starts off very weak. Your glowing hand marks you as the chosen one, you have to collect glowing orbs to defeat the dark lord. It's like the story of a generic videogame you'd see in the background of a movie. They do throw in a little novelty to keep you on your toes- you present yourself to the king and he throws you in the dungeon, you go back to your hometown and travel back in time for some reason- but I really never warmed to the setting. It's just a collection of cliches and cute gimmicks, like the town of people who speak in haikus, the town of people who speak in rhyming couplets (you're stuck with these people for the bulk of the exposition at the start of act 2, which is a nightmare) and the town of- ugh- Italians. There's no sense of these places being places. It's just a nice pleasant fairytale kingdom of the kind that's normally mentioned in Snow White or whatever as the place the handsome prince comes from, except here you spend dozens of hours trudging through it looking for glowing tree roots and orbs. The big problem in Gallopolis is that the sultan's son isn't brave enough for god's sake. Acts 2 and 3 pick things up, and there's some neat reveals- I like that the lil red star you've been seeing in the sky right from the start was the stain of the original hero's failure to slay the villain, literally hanging over the entire setting all this time. Also the annoying act 1 scene where you get handed the name of the villain and an orb quest in an exposition dump is retroactively improved by the fact that the exposition isn't quite correct. Act 3 reintroducing time travel and actually being thoughtful about it was welcome as well, but sadly that has the effect of making you redo story points you already did since, logically, you're back in time to where you haven't done them yet. Sometimes this comes across as getting a do-over to get a more positive outcome for something that previously ended more tragically, in keeping with the way time travel is explained in-universe as essentially reloading an earlier save (and, as revealed in the end, continuing in a separate save slot). The 8th party member's act 3 quest is a standout here. In reading discussion of the game I've seen people insist on referring to this character as 8, presumably to preserve the plot twist of his existence, so I guess I'll do it too. But more often than not, act 3 quests consist of just doing the same stuff as act 2 again, in a somewhat more curt manner. This sticks in the craw after so much of act 2 already consisted of just doing the same stuff as act 1 again. The party members aren't much better, for the most part. The first three people you meet all say "ah, you're the Luminary, I was sent to help you" and there isn't much to them beyond that for a long time. Sylvando has a lot of personality, which is probably partly why he's become the game's big meme character, but it gets grating and he is insanely trite. The Dark Lord takes over the world and purges the unclean, and Sylvando's overriding concern is that he wants people to laugh and smile more. It's like he takes advantage of the fact that I need him for his boat to get my goat by acting like a fucking teletubby. Things pick way up when you meet Rab, and the 8th party member is genuinely really good. Even the early-game party members end up having their moments (Erik's backstory was pretty fun) but the game really doesn't put its best foot forward with these characters. Not that it needs to; for the first few I was just glad to be getting some help in combat. The combat is excellent in this game, when it gets going. I played with the "draconian quest" tougher enemies mode on, and I turned it off right at the act 2 end boss. The difficulty curve flowed really well this way, with act 3 enemies not feeling noticeably less tough than "draconian" act 2 enemies. The abilities and spells you get are carefully balanced so that it's very difficult to put together a perfect 4-person party, you're always missing something. This means the fact that you can change your line-up midfight isn't just a nice quality of life feature, it's a potentially vital mechanic. They tread a fine line where sometimes needing to swap people out during the battle doesn't mean the characters themselves feel useless; everyone is capable of some extremely tough stuff. And on the other end of the scale, enemy damage is heavy enough that buffing your attack and using big-damage abilities vs healing or defending can be a properly difficult choice; a heavy hit or a big heal at the right time can turn the tide of an entire battle, as can your big hitter suddenly getting put to sleep or your healer getting knocked out. Again, this is all with the caveat that I had "draconian quest" on for the first 2/3 of the game, from what I've heard combat without it is insanely easy. My big gripe with the combat is that there's very little in the way of tooltips. What's this enemy's magic resistance? Does my Sap have a better chance of landing if I up my Magical Might, or does that just increase spell damage? Does Oomphle affect Quadraslash? If I increase my agility will it go up by enough that I can take my turn ahead of these enemies? Does agility even do that? Does using abilities and spells mean I go later in the turn order vs generic attacks and defending? You just have to guess at all this; the wiki has some info on enemy stats but I don't know where they're getting it from other than datamining. There's an entire bestiary with almost no useful information which is functionally just a model viewer for all 700+ enemies. The only way to know anything is to experiment, which I guess at least adds some purpose to combat when you've filled out the bestiary for an area but still have to grid encounters- which will be required at some point, because fighting is the only way you get xp and money. There is also too much RNG. Critical hits being rare and certain attacks having a chance to cause Confusion or whatever is fine (although I'd prefer for attacks which are labelled as having a chance to inflict status effects to actually inflict the status effect way more often than they do) but why the fuck does the resurrection spell have a 50% success rate? Under what possible circumstances would I be using that spell other than needing my dead teammate back right now? Same for all the abilities on the skill tree that say "doesn't connect very often, but when it does it can cause a critical hit" OK that "CAN" is telling me that this ability which doesn't often connect won't even necessarily crit if it does. Why would I choose this ability? To handicap myself? How is this going to help me defeat the Timewyrm? All that said, when the combat is good it's really good, and whenever I lose a fight I'm thinking "I can win that next time if I do XYZ". The 2D battles are much less fun because the pace is much slower and there are no cute animations to liven it up, but it's always satisfying when the "flash" of an enemy taking damage becomes the "flash" of them disappearing, and you know you have slayed yet another blob. Non-combat gameplay is a mixed bag. The early-game fun of running around looking for new enemies to fight and fill out the bestiary wears off hard once act 2 begins and everything is either a reskin or a glowing-eyes "vicious" version of something you've already fought, and many maps are fairly sparse with just the odd treasure chest and locked door to liven up your path to the next area. That said, there are also several areas and dungeons which make a minigame out of traversing them; the Eerie Eyrie and the Battleground were standouts for me. Especially the remixed version of Eerie Eyrie you go to later on, where you get a flying mount to ride around. Crafting is surprisingly involved, with a whole minigame around it and hundreds of recipes to find all over the place. In most cases you can just use money in lieu of ingredients, which means minimal farming is required to get a lot out of the system, and the recipes with ingredients that can't be bought feel special instead of bullshit. In terms of items and recipes there really is a deluge of content- there are recipe books all over the place, with new ones available even in the last couple of maps that open up in the entire game, and there's an undeniable cookie-clicker rush you get from getting better at crafting and taking something you could barely get to +1 all the way to +3. I play games like this as a magpie, accumulating items with nice pictures and effects that make me do a 😲 face, and DQ11 certainly delivers. This even extends to character advancement, with Hidden Goodies incentivizing picking skills you might not want otherwise, and entire new skill trees opening up as quest rewards.

Overall, DQ11 is a good combat system with loot and progression systems that are well-executed enough to feel rewarding after 100 hours, all wrapped up in a style and tone that is not up my alley at all. A good litmus test for how much you'd like the game is probably: watch this scene and if you think it's the most epic thing you've ever seen then Dragon Quest 11 is for you.

[duker42]

💜Recovering💜 1 of 4

Recovering: Part 1 of 4

*****Warning*****Spoilers Ahead/Manga

Y/N took in the view before her. Grass covered fields stretched before her, gentle hills and scattered trees filling out the landscape. A sense of calm was over area, causing a coil of tension to curl in her gut. Times like these were the most dangerous.

Trouble was coming. Maybe not an Abnormal Titan, like she would have been expecting in years past, but something.

The screen door behind her opened as a petite blonde in a long flowing dress joined her on the porch. Her angelic features were enhanced by the protruding swell under her breasts. Turning towards the expectant mother, Y/N inclined her head slightly.

“Good morning, Your Majesty, did you sleep well?” She turned, taking in the heavily pregnant woman’s appearance.

“Y/N, for the LAST time, it’s Historia! I order you to call me Historia.” The young monarch giggles, flashing a mischievous grin to the older girl.

She supposed it was alright. She had known Historia since she had joined the Scouts under the name Christa Lentz all those years ago. How things have changed.

Commander Hanji had assigned Y/N to watch over Historia as she entered her final months of pregnancy, worried that the Yeagerists might take some action against the mother-to-be in a blind show of loyalty to Eren.

It was a duty to be taken seriously. That was why Y/N had tried to establish boundaries. But the girl who once giggled over gossip and played silly games with her in the their barracks block after lights out refused to let them slip into predetermined roles. Sighing, Y/N gives into the inevitable and flashes a light hearted grin. “Okay, HISTORIA, how’d you sleep?”

Groaning, Historia rubbed her lower back. “Let’s just say I will be happy when I can sleep in some other position. And I don’t have this one trying to practice for ODM training in my womb.”

“Sit down, You’ll feel better.” She lead the girl over to a rocking chair and guided her into the seat before looking back across the open fields. Scanning the area, a bit of movement from the river caught her attention. She narrowed her eyes, trying to determine if it was an animal that was moving in the brush or approaching danger. She gripped the handles of her swords loosely, trying to move casually as to not upset the woman beside her.

The movement continued, and Y/N began to make a out figure pulling something from the river. “Historia, did you give permission for anyone to travel by river or fish lately?”

Glancing at the direction Y/N was staring, Historia’s eyes widen as she realizes the reasoning behind the question. “No.”

Moving swiftly, Y/N gathers up Historia and rushed back into the farmhouse. Putting her down, she quickly shoves a rifle in the queen’s hand. “You haven’t forgotten how to shoot, I know. Stay here and stay low. I’ll call out to you. Whatever I shout, don’t hesitate. You aren’t a soldier any longer, you are our Queen.” When she nods silently, Y/N slips back out onto the porch, preparing to defend her friend and liege to her dying breath.

Silently slipping down the front porch steps, Y/N makes her way to the well worn path that leads to the river. She was finally close enough to recognize the green cloak wrapped around the now soaked figure, still concentrating on something on the ground. As she starts to pull her blades slowly from their sheath, the figure looks up and spots Y/N.

Sagging with relief, she shoves the blades back to their resting position and rushes forward, fear of a threat now well past. “Commander Hanji!”

Hanji’s single brown eye widened when she saw Y/N. She looked down at the item she was clutching at and shouted for the girl. “Come help me! I need to get him in the house!”

When Y/N reached Hanji, she realized the object that Hanji had been struggling with was a person, a man, horribly wounded. A long deep slash across the man’s face from his eyebrow to below his lip was still oozing blood. Fragments of metal were sticking out of the other cheek. As she came closer, she realized that his right hand was steadily dripping blood, the ends of his first two finger were severed. Reaching the frantic woman, she realized she wasn’t looking at just any wounded man.

“Levi....” She gasped.

“Come on, Y/N. Help me.” Hanji snaps her out of inaction. Y/N reaches down and pushes her obviously exhausted Commander back and scoops the short statured Captain up into her arms.

Struggling with his surprising weight, she grunted, shifting him carefully as she hurried towards the farmhouse. “Fuck, he’s heavy. What does he do, eat rocks?” She blithely comments, trying desperately to not panic at the critical situation they found themselves in.

“Historia! Quick, get hot water and towels! Get the medical bag! Put them in my room!” She shouts as she gets closer. “What happened?” Hanji flinched at the question.

“Thunder spear, I think, I’m not exactly sure. But Zeke had transformed and I found Levi next to the river like this. Piece of shit Floch wanted to shoot him, so I dove into the river with him and managed to get him here.”

“And the monkey?” Y/N growled, referring to Zeke’s Beast Titan.

“Bastard still lives.” Hanji ground out, her teeth gritted in anger.

“Okay, then our little Captain here can’t die today. Let’s get him inside and fixed up to fight another day.”

Pushing into the farmhouse, she steadily makes her way to the bedroom she had been staying in. The top floor, back bedroom had never seemed so far away as she carried her heavy burden up the narrow stairs, careful not to injure him further. Reaching the room, she found Historia busily arraigning all the requested materials and stoking the fire to life in the hearth.

Laying him down in her bed, she steps back and takes a breath. Now the real challenge was beginning. Reaching into her medical bag that she had prepared for the birth of Historia’s child, she begins to lay out all the tools and medicines. Hanji came over and started pulling Levi’s water logged boots off his feet.

“We have to get his clothes off. I can’t see if he has any other injuries with them on.” Her hurried words betrayed her panic. Quickly grabbing the taller woman’s hands, Y/N stills her. “Hanji, go shower and change into dry clothes. I can handle this for now. We can’t afford for you to get sick. Historia, take her.” Confidant they would heed her, she turns back to the unconscious man before her.

Slipping a dangerously sharp knife from the sheath in her boot, she murmurs an apology as she swiftly cuts the elite soldier’s clothes from his body. Flinging the sodden material on the floor, she begins to dry him off, looking for wounds more pressing than the ones on his face and hand.

Finding none, and relieved to find no bruising to indicate internal bleeding yet, she covers his naked form with a thick blanket. Her movements graceful and fluid, she surveys the fingers, her main cause for worry at the moment. The bleeding on his face had slowed, but his missing digits needed to be dealt with immediately.

Slipping a long blade into the fire, she sighs as she realizes cauterizing the wound is his best option. He would come back to life and gut her unmercifully if she allowed the notoriously fastidious man to die of an infection.

When the metal was red hot, Y/N carefully held his hand, her body practically laying on his own to prevent movement. While he was still unconscious, Captain Levi was dangerous, and she could take no chance that he would come to during this and hurt himself or her. Wincing as she touched the hot steel to his open flesh, the sizzling and burning smell etching themselves into her mind. She felt him jerk beneath her, but thankfully his eyes remained closed.

Washing the tender skin, she put a healing salve on his now shorter fingers and carefully wrapped them in gauze. Turning her attention to his face, she wept internally over the damage. She had always believe the stoic, crass man to be breathtakingly handsome. Few others thought as she did, but it never bothered her. But, even as horrible as his wounds looked now, she didn’t think that she would ever be able to view him as hideous.

Shaking her head, she scoffed at her foolishness. He needed her to help him right now, not moon over his looks. Going to his right eye, she carefully peeled open the lid and was relieved to see that the cut had not penetrated below. A beautiful grey orb rested unharmed in it’s socket. She was quick to note that there were more blue flecks in the iris at this distance. Smiling at her newfound discovery, she closed the lid and set to cleaning the wound.

Stitching his face had taken longer than she had hoped. She was still working on the lower portion when Hanji came back into the room.

“Check him again for bruising, please” Y/N said, not taking her eyes off the delicate sutures in her hand.

Pulling back the blankets, Hanji rechecked his stomach and chest, not finding any deep bruising. Covering him back up, she silently watched the loyal Scout carefully sew her friend back together. After Y/N had finished that arduous task, she concentrated on the other side, pulling the bits of metal from his skin. Sanitizing and sewing those wounds shut, she smeared the salve over the wounds. Over his eye, she had not stitched the wound, opting to pull the skin closed with some medical glue and cover it with a thick bandage.

Finished with her task, she looked up into the worried coffee colored eye of her friend and leader. Unshed tears gathered as the woman looked down at the bed that held her dearest friend, the last veteran from before the wall fell that she had left. She looked back at Y/N, a newer friend, but no less important to her. “Do you think he will make it?” She whispered, afraid of the answer.

Standing, Y/N gathered Hanji in a fierce hug. “Levi is stronger than all of us. He will make it. He’s just going to be pissed that ‘shitty Beast bastard’ is still kicking.” Hanji gave a small chuckle when Y/N used the colorful moniker Levi used when talking about Zeke Yeager.

Hanji pulled away, sighing heavily. “I need to go. They will be looking for us. I need to get back to HQ and figure out how to deal with this. Keep him safe, Y/N. If they find him, they will kill him.”

Nodding solemnly, Y/N gathers the Captain’s ruined clothes and slipped downstairs to give Hanji a few moments alone with Levi. Reaching the kitchen, she finds Historia seated at the table, her troubled gaze settled on the tea cup in front of her. Guessing where the small girl’s trouble thoughts lay, Y/N settled a hand on her slender shoulder. “Levi is still unconscious, but he’ll survive. I know it.”

Sitting down in the opposite chair, she continues. “Hanji is going to be leaving him here. The Yeagerist’s are going to be searching for them. We need to be careful for anyone approaching the house. Trust no one right now.” Her friends face paled at the implications of her statement, but she nodded.

Y/N sat with Historia for a few more minutes, explaining the Captain’s condition and reminiscing with her about the few times they had actually seen the seemingly indestructible man hurt. When the conversation tapered off, Y/N got up and set the ruined clothes out to dry in front of the kitchen hearth.

“When these are dry Historia, if I am watching over the Captain, burn them.” She says, fingering the blood stained cravat she had taken off of him. Pulling it out of the destroy pile, she ignores her common sense and sets the dirty linen in a bowl of cold water to soak. When she turns around, she catches the understanding look on Historia’s face. “He would want us to get the stains out.” Y/N sheepishly explains.

Footsteps on the stairs signal Hanji’s approach. When the tired woman comes into the kitchen, Historia bustles around the room gathering provisions. Y/N hands Hanji a cup of tea she had just poured, liberally adding a splash of whiskey to the brew.

“There are extra horses in the stable. I had them brought here in case of an emergency. Take one, it won’t be missed if someone comes looking.” Y/N tells Hanji. “They are looking for you carrying a wounded man, they won’t act quickly enough to block the road for a lone rider on a a horse.”

Knocking back the tea, she grimaces and hands the cup back to Y/N. “I knew I was right to station you here.” She smiled gratefully as Historia handed her a sack full of food stuffs and a water skin. Placing a hand on Historia’s stomach she looks at both of the women. “Take care of the baby, him and each other. I’ll send word as quickly as I can.” And with that, she walked out of the house towards the stable.

**Time Skip**

After Hanji’s departure, Y/N went to the stables and cleaned the now empty stall. If someone did come looking for the now hunted pair, she wanted to give no reason for suspicion. Satisfied that the stables looked proper, she walked to the river’s edge and started eliminating signs of the wounded man being carried from there to the farmhouse.

Coming back into the house, she made her way to Historia, watching over the sleeping Captain. Settled into a rocking chair beside his bed, the former cadet was reading quietly to the man that had once threatened her to convince her to take her place as queen.

Pausing in her reading, Historia looked at Y/N. “I’ve burned their clothes. Should we burn the boots?”

“No, he wears a size similar to mine. I will just say they are an extra pair if anyone questions it.” For a shorter girl, Y/N had surprisingly larger feet. Looking around the room, she noticed that it was dirty from working on him earlier. “Take a break, I’ll watch over Levi and clean the room. The last thing we need is him waking up to a dirty recovery room. He’ll shit bricks.” She grinned as Historia laughed.

While Historia settled on the porch, Y/N gathered the cleaning supplies. Throwing the bloodied towels in the fire, she carefully wiped down the room, restoring it to it’s before Levi appearance. Stowing the medical supplies away, she retraced her steps through the house, making sure there were no tell-tell drops of blood. Satisfied that their tracks had been sufficiently covered, she returned to the kitchen and began to make dinner.

Humming quietly as she peeled and chopped vegetables, her thoughts drifted back to the man upstairs. She was worried about how he was going to take loosing his fingers. She hoped he would look at it like she did. Most soldiers would be completely at loss with their dominant hand damaged, but Levi held his swords differently in battle. Using the other fingers on his hand was natural to him, so she didn’t believe it was too big of an issue. No, his real problem would be holding his tea cup. Unique in most every aspect of his life, drinking tea was no different. Rather than holding it by the handle like most, Levi gripped the rim of the cup with his entire hand. The loss of those fingers would definitely affect that.

She snorted to herself as she moved the pot of hearty stew over the flames. They had nothing to worry about if the primary concern about their strongest soldier’s injury was how he was going to adjust to drinking his tea. Wiping down her work station, she fixed a tray with all the necessary items to make tea in her room and headed upstairs.

Entering the room, she found that he had not moved. His breathing still steady, as if he were sleeping. She wondered if he had a head injury from being thrown in the blast. There had been plenty of soldiers that showed no sign of injury but went to sleep and never woke up. The possibility terrified her.

Setting the tea kettle on the hook, she moved it close enough to the fire to stay warm, but far enough away to not boil. Setting up a cup for whenever he decided to come back to reality, she stopped for a moment to take a good look at the man she had been caring for. She noticed that his neck had a smudge of dirt on it and his hair had debris in it from the river. Damnit...he wouldn’t be comfortable like this if he knew. Even when he was about to fall out from exhaustion, he had always dragged himself off to clean up before anything else after a mission. A tiny coil of dread knotted in her gut. She was going to have to give Levi a bath.

Guilt....that was the feeling in her gut, she thought to herself as she wandered back into the kitchen. Filling a pail full of hot water, she collected more towels and a rag before going back up the stairs. She was feeling guilty because she was going to see him naked. When she had cut his clothes off of him, she had been focused on the injuries. Now that the danger had seemingly passed, she was ashamed to admit to herself that she was a little curious.

Setting the pail beside the bed, she went to her bathroom and got her soap. Something she had found in an upscale store the last time she was in Wall Sina, it had a heavenly mixture of lemon and rosemary in it. She hoped he wouldn’t shit at smelling like a girl when he woke up. Smirking, she came back over and contemplated the best way to go about her task. Modesty called for just reaching under the covers to blindly swipe at his skin, but knowing how meticulous he was, Y/N sensed she would be doing him an injustice if she washed him that way.

Deciding to start on his hair, she wet the raven locks as best she could and lathered the soap through it. Feeling the surprisingly soft strands as her fingers massaged his scalp, she wondered how he would react if he were to wake up at this moment. Would it feel good to him, or would he bat her hands away from him? Lifting his head, she placed an empty basin beneath him and scooped clean water over his hair, rinsing the suds out. Toweling the moisture from his disheveled hair, she swapped the pillow beneath his head, giving him a clean place to lay.

Now onto his body. As she grit her teeth, she scolded herself for acting like a child. Levi’s voice rang through her head. ‘Just get it over with brat.’ Steeling her nerves and with a quick glance at his face to make sure he was still out, she pulled the covers completely off of her Captain.

Hard. That would be the word she used to describe him. While many people discounted Levi due to his height, his form was nothing to scoff at. His lean frame was covered in taunt muscle. His shoulders were surprisingly broad and his chest was smooth and absent hair. Small light scars from old injuries were scattered across him, but added to his appeal rather than detracted. Defined pecs led down to chiseled abs, so many ripples in his stomach telling of the hard training he put in. The deep v of his hips led down, and Y/N felt herself blushing a deep crimson as she tore her gaze away from his anatomy. With a quick rush of air escaping her lung, she knew she would NEVER forget that sight. It seemed to be disproportionate to the rest of him, even when asleep. She would be a little afraid if she ever saw the man aroused. His thick coiled thighs spoke to all the years of ODM gear use and tight calves leading down to surprisingly cute feet.

‘Okay, drooling over, start washing the man’ She hastens over to the water, plunging the rag in to wet it. Wringing a little water out, she runs it over the inert body. Wetting it again, she soaps up the rag and begins at his neck, carefully washing the filth from him. Moving him gently, she contorts his body to reach as much of him as she can without turning him over. Sliding the wash cloth over him, she begins to hum to distract herself from her actions. When she reaches his waist, she pauses, unsure if touching him there was the correct corse of action. Remembering all the times he knocked Hanji out and bathed her, she shrugs, realizing he will understand the practicality of his situation.

Careful to avoid any roughness, always hearing about how sensitive they are in that area, Y/N gently washes him. Startled a bit as that one area moved at her touch, she quickly moved lower, washing his legs and feet with mechanical precision. Finishing up, she rinses the rag and wipes the soap off of his body with another run of the rag. After drying him off, she covers him in a new blanket, pulling the warm material up to his chest, anchoring it with his arms.

Coming back down the stairs with the pail and basins, she meets Historia at the bottom. Her eyes were wide and panicked.

“Someone’s coming.”

Part 2 Here

Part 3 Here

Part 4 Here

Mobile MasterList

[midnakoopa]

Got some thoughts on the PMD1 remake. Probably spoilers below I guess? Mostly talking about mechanics and changes.

WAY longer post than I was planning whoops super long post below

Right, so. Let me start by saying that I’m feeling this remake, but I do have a couple gripes, which I’ll get out of the way now. First off, “Let’s go together” seems to be changed a bit. The team seems to get a bit more distracted by pursuing enemies when trying to exit a room, or when they approach in a corridor, especially if said teammates have a ranged move. They also get stupidly distracted by money. Like. I’ve had shit go extremely awry more than once just because some dipshit or another decided to split clean away to grab a fuckin dime. You’d think the default tactic wouldn’t need changing; wasn’t broke in the first few installments. Whatever.

The Dojo is a lot different, and I’m not crazy about it? It’s certainly streamlined, I’ll give it that, and it’s efficient enough for when you need to powerlevel someone a bit, but. I’m not big on a real-time timer in a Mystery Dungeon game. And I liked the type mazes, honestly.

Gummis of whatever color have been replaced by Rainbow Gummis and DX Gummis, which would be whatever, except for the fact that Rare Qualities have replaced IQ Skills, and each pokemon can apparently only have one at any given time. Bleh.

But the most egregious change, to me, is the fact that Friend Areas, which are now called Camps, are just fucking menus you navigate. You can’t explore around the little area with your pals it’s just a fucking menu and it’s a travesty.

And speaking of Camps, the prices for them have changed. 18 of them are cheaper than in the original, 17 are more expensive, and 8 are about the same. Plus, a handful of them have had name changes. Which is mostly whatever, but Mist-Rise Forest is now Stump Forest, which is really dumb and way too on-the-nose.

As for what else, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact that Radar and Scanning are on by default. I am sure how I feel about it now, and it segues nicely into talking about the things that are good.

So, Radar and Scanning. Items and enemies are visible on the map by default. I thought it kinda cheapened the whole thing, made it maybe too much easier? But then I entered Waterfall Pond, and found that these things are off now. I only have the one dungeon to go on so far, but it seems like they had Radar and Scanning for the main story dungeons, and now the rest it’ll be off? Which. I’m feeling that. I’m into it.

As for the art style. It’s charming, y’know. Neat that it seems like they took the original title screen illustrations and just made that the art style for the whole game. Took a bit of getting used to, personally, but I like it I think.

Recruiting new pokemon is an interesting change. They need to be taken out by the leader, which I honestly don’t remember if that was a thing, I legitimately never thought about it, but it feels like it wasn’t? I don’t know. Anyway, pokemon can tag along with you even if you don’t have their Camp open, which is neat. Counting the three pokemon you can set out with, you can have a total of eight pokemon out on a mission. Because of this, for the first few dungeons and first couple bosses, I was worried they might’ve sacrificed too much for the sake of accessibility.

They did not. This is, in fact, very much still Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. The fugitive arc was still appropriately difficult. As was the Magma Cavern. And the Sky Tower actually wiped me out; had to send in a rescue squad to save my own rescue squad. Though, that was only because I largely forgot to prepare appropriate items for Sky Tower. Anyway. Speaking of Magma Cavern and Sky Tower...

Let’s talk about Groudon. And Rayquaza. And how I adore what they did with these boss fights. Groudon’s magma thing was a neat touch to the battlefield, and even with a full party of eight, it felt like a real-ass boss fight. Though I did get lucky and it kept using Precipice Blades on a Koffing I picked up on the way. :v And then there’s Rayquaza. Staying in place and using its gigantic moves, wind blowing all over the battlefield, the battle felt real dynamic. Loving the animation Hyper Beam got.

That’s about it for the big stuff. As for smaller changes... Allies can try to use healing items, which you confirm with a dialogue choice. Very nice addition. Ranking up has a cute, handy meter. Ranged and projectile attacks bypass your allies by default now, which is a welcome change from needing a skill. Felicity Bank gives daily prizes now. Don’t think they did that before. There are now Max Ethers, Tiny Reviver Seeds, and a bunch of different sizes of apple. They brought wands over. There are new orbs. And every item has its own unique art now, which I am so fucking here for I love it. I love how the Empowerment Seed is just the Mega Evolution flame wisp in seed form. I love a lot of the items I could go on and on but wow this post got real long real quickly whoops.

ANYway. There’s a way more comprehensive list of my thoughts on this game than I went into this planning to type. Game’s good. Looking forward to it continuing to be good. Take easy.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 11]

We have made it to post-game!

Sort of!

The plot done away with, now is the time to explore the rest of the map and wrap up the entire run with one last go at the Elite Four in their final form!

Our main contestants are

still spoiler tagged!

for maximum worrying.

Let’s get marching.

Back in the room where it all began. I wonder if this beginning will also start with my friends running in unannounced and starting a battle with me. ...That would be bad, it’d better not.

...Looker. I’m gonna level with you.

I don’t wanna be a junior detective.

He’s still on the trail of Team Plasma, and has decided to assign us the task of tracking down the Seven Sages. He also gives us a Super Rod. I don’t think we could fish before this, which is kind of an odd feature for a pokemon game.

Looker’s a nut, but an endearing nut.

Ah yes, my besties.

And hey, Professor Juniper’s dad shows up to upgrade my pokedex! Half my team will no longer be without numbers!

So. Now what.

Which really means, do I let Buzz Fly me to Nimbasa or Opelucid?

I think the Nimbasa route will contain a bridge.

We’re going on the bridge.

Though before we do that, I want to check out the train area again to see if the IV person is there now that I’ve beaten the plot. I’m probably just misremembering their entire existence, but I could have sworn someone was down there.

DUDE! LOOK AT WHO’S RIGHT!

Okay okay okay we’ve got to give this a full check.

Frogger is above average, with fantastic Attack and Special Attack. Rojo is decent, with very good Special Defense. Tock is above average with very good Special Attack. Fido is above average with HP that ‘can’t be better.’ That explains a few numbers. Batman is above average with fantastic HP. Palm is above average with fantastic Speed.

Rojo, you poor, useless legendary.

You are still one of the most broken things on the team, and I love you for it.

That’s more rounded than I expected, honestly. I figured a few of them would just be terrible, and maybe one would be extraordinary, but it’s above average across the board. Which is. kind of average. Pokemon NPCs are kind people.

APTLY NAMED BRIDGE. ALSO KNOWN AS A NEW ROUTE, LET’S GO FEATHER DROPS.

The dude offering me a Magikarp to buy does not count as the first encounter. Also, I did not buy it. It is not randomized, and as we all know that means it’s awful.

That’s pretty much my reaction, word for word.

Ghetsis told them to give me the Adamant Orb. And the Lustrous Orb. And the Griseous Orb. I think those are... Diamond and Pearl’s legendary special items?

Then the ninja zoom away after telling me we’ll never meet again.

That’s one lazy way to get rid of ninja. I could have sworn I fought them once... wait, did I? That seems like something I could go back and check. Eh, whatever.

Speaking of lazy things, was Team Plasma having a giant castle ever explained? I feel like it wasn’t. I’m okay with that, I just want to know.

The inclusion of the wings you can pick up on bridges were really helpful to EV training. I don’t know how many hours I would spend biking on bridges, and frankly the answer would likely depress me, but picking up all those feather things was so useful.

Of course, I have no real use for them at the moment. I’m trying to find a pokemon in those shadows.

I found one!

Look at you, little adorable guy. Oh, girl.

Quick Ball, then faint if that doesn’t work.

Caught her!

What’s your name, though... gotta go with something musical... I dub thee Pink.

Some girl in the gateway area wants to have a Rotation Battle with me. Like a fool, I say yes, and--

Oh shit.

I was kidding when I called myself a fool, but no, yes, that classification stands. Ahahaha. Um. Okay so after this, I’m gonna. Gonna go to Opelucid instead, maybe.

I didn’t even look at Pink’s level when I caught her. It was all Quick Ball action and ignorance. Could I have been forewarned?

This is bad.

Rotation Battles in general irk me. Rotation Battles that place me at a considerable level disadvantage are. something else. Oy.

Um.

I think the Alomomola might have Water Absorb. But Frogger is the most likely to survive whatever awful thing is about to happen. So that limits me to attacking with Mud Shot or Hyper Voice until the Alomomola is downed. It’s a Normal move. It isn’t going to do much against a Steel type, and it doesn’t do much against Beheeyem either, but I think one of those probably has Levitate for their Ability.

Frogger should not be in front.

He is staying in front.

So far, none of these things are using an actual attack, which I’m grateful for.

As I say that, Alomomola uses Hydro Pump. Frogger’s still green, so. Yeah.

Frogger just keeps using Hyper Voice. He’s going to run out of PP for it. Oh well.

Next Hydro Pump gets him low enough to warrant a Hyper Potion.

Beheeyem uses Power Split. Beheeyem’s not bad and this one is a higher level, so I’m not sure how bad that is.

Good news! Nothing has Levitate, and the Klinklang is defeated!

Alomomola is also defeated!

Beheeyem is defeated!

Yikes.

That only went so well because the other trainer almost never used attacks. It was all status stuff except for Hydro Pump, which missed twice. Something would be dead if a human trainer had been guiding those move choices.

I think I’m going to go outside and check what the wild life is like. It’s possible that the huge level difference is an artificial thing with this one trainer, rather than the norm. I mean, her AI virtually never attacked me. So I’ll hold off on going to Opelucid until I get a look at what other people have.

It could also be that I am underleveled for post-game life.

One thing at a time.

Exploring time.

Oh. That guy’s a trainer. He has a level 62 Gulpin.

Okay, so I’m not comfortably leveled for this, but as long as I don’t fall into a Rotation Battle or a Triple Battle, I have items, and the exp will be worthwhile. I think I’ll keep going, with special attention paid to caution. Maybe something in the grass can help me out with some mild grinding.

I biked all the way back to a Pokemon Center.

That is how much confidence I am feeling.

Something should have a Lucky Egg, but I don’t even know if it’s safe to be here, let alone who my front runner should be.

...Fine, it’s Frogger, never mind.

I’m sorry Frogger, I have no idea why I’m so uninterested in cultivating you. I should be better about not taking you for granted and appreciate that you are the one true survivor of this squad.

It’s just you’re also level 60. So not the thing most in need of exp.

Hello possible new friend. It’s level 48, so I think it might be that the post-game sections just have a level jump for trainers. Delightful.

Quick Ball ftw, Baltoy is now Woody.

Munna’s also in this grass. I can’t help but notice these things are not great for grinding.

Trainer with a level 65 Altaria.

I think Rojo might need to try to handle it before anything more creatively unfortunate happens. Altaria’s a Special Defense pokemon, and I think has a few really great Defense-boosting stat moves. If I let it, it can sweep.

It might also be able to kill Rojo in one hit already, but.

Argh, I hate this, lol.

Rojo, go in, if something happens I’m sorry in advance.

Yeeeeeah this Altaria is doing what I thought it would and I don’t care for it. Dragon Dance plus the Cotton thing that drastically raises Defense. .I am afeared. It uses another Dragon Dance.

Oh good job Rojo. Critical hit for the save. Good job, good job.

Abomasnow is up next.

Fido, you’re up.

Fido eats it.

You know. I like this better when I’m not chronicling every single fight out of the fear of imminent death. The next trainer looks like a Fighting one, so Tock is moved to the first slot.

Are you fucking kidding me.

New plan!

We’re murdering legendaries for breakfast!

Because exp!

Side note: Air Slash has 95 accuracy. Why is it always missing.

...Oh fuck.

I hecked up. Badly. Oh fuck. no.

I thought. Tock would out-Speed. Which I would have realized was a stupid thought if I had actually spent any time thinking about Tock’s features and the fact that the Hitmontop has eight levels on him.

I thought about healing him. Those missed Air Slashes left a lot of damage.

You know what also leaves a lot of damage.

STAB Close Combat.

Stop. thinking. “oh I’m sure it will be fine.”

-cradles head in hands-

I am so sorry Tock.

I.

Fuck, this was not supposed to happen. I shouldn’t be allowed to touch Flying pokemon. Ever. Or fight Fighting pokemon. The fact that this keeps happenings suggests some underlying stupidity.

Damn it.

Damn it.

This. Tock. Buddy.

ALL THOSE FUCKING SLUGMA.

FUCK I JUST REALIZED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EMOTIONS. I DIDN’T USE TOCK AGAINST N OR GHETSIS. ALL OF THAT EV TRAINING. ALL OF IT. FOR NOTHING BUT RANDOM FIGHTS.

ALL

THOSE

SLUGMA

IT WAS A LOT OF HOURS.

I. Hell, I am so sorry Tock. I did everything wrong for your final moments. You would still be alive (assuming Close Combat wouldn’t have killed you in one hit regardless, which... I will never get to know) if I had just been more careful and less stupid. Five seconds of common sense would have put you out of harm’s way.

I am just. so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.

You have such a sweet, innocent face and I...

I am upset?

I can’t even pick someone else for the team yet. It can wait. Nothing can really replace Tock, and I can’t act otherwise.

I can take Bandit for a walk, though. There are boulders nearby.

-eliminates Reshiram with no joy in heart-

Hell.

I think this place has more uses if you are not playing on the computer.

It has grass. That’s the important thing of the moment.

Hey little guy.

Quick Ball go, Quick Ball get.

I don’t know what to call you.

So. I’m gonna go with Tick.

FOR THE LOVE OF SOMETHING, STOP SPAMMING THE A BUTTON EQUIVALENT THROUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE I DID NOT WANT A TRIPLE BATTLE BECAUSE THAT IS LIKE THREE TIMES THE CHANCES OF DEATH AND I AM NOT DOING WELL WITH THE NORMAL CHANCES.

It works out thanks to the typing.

But geez self. Show some learning.

See, okay, the kid standing above her also wants a Triple Battle.

Now, what are we going to do?

Go to the Pokemon Center, and then say absolutely because my guys need exp.

I’m not a greatly intelligent human.

Not even a little.

It works out, though. Exp gained, no one dead.

New route.

This trainer has a level 68 Purugly.

I think. I really need to drop everything and grind for a little bit.

Frogger has fallen in love with the Purugly. He is also now paralyzed. After a turn of that, thankfully, he uses Hydro Pump and it hits.

Frogger.

I’m judging you a bit.

Level 68 Espeon. Followed by level 68 Lapras. Good grief I should not be in this place.

.

.

.

THAT ONE WAS NOT MY FAULT.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

This.

Fuck.

Uh.

So uh. There was this Future Sight Batman took. I made the executive decision that it was safer for her to be in there for it than Palm, and. I stand by that. Except then a critical hit Hydro Pump hit. And it’s a level 68 Lapras. So.

So.

You killed Boeing. By catching you, I took away your ability to kill. But I always knew you could still die. You were the terror. You were the knight.

You were Batman.

You deserved to be enshrined forever in the Hall of Fame.

But this is where we part, my friend.

Farewell.

Uh.

...4x STAB Leaf Storm.

I.

This was meant to be the grass encounter where I caught one of them?

I was focused on that?

I did not think a level 59 Petilil could kill Frogger in one shot?

This is.

Bad?

There is also a chance the Petilil is too dangerous to live?

But I catch it, so yay?

Petilil’s new name is Battousai.

And.

And.

This has been the longest hour of this run.

I am in so much more trouble than I was.

Frogger. You were my second pokemon.

You saved the day against the Elite Four.

You were dependable, and I never learned to depend on you.

I did not see us ending this way.

I am so sorry.

...

Hello.

Darkness my old friend.

I’ve come to cry at you again.

So uh.

Guess who. needs a new team.

Ahahaha I am in hell.

...

You know what. I. am going to take a break. This has been an excruciating hour. I don’t care for it. I don’t know what I should put on my new team. All I know is that this is very sad and I continue to be worse at this game than I thought.

So that’s great.

[next session start]

Alrighty then.

-stares blankly-

My party has Rock/Fighting, Fire, Grass/Fighting.

I, uh. Need to fill it.

With stuff.

Piglet (Spoink). You’re coming with. Buzz and Bandit will come along with HMs. I’ll see if I can hit the other routes, then figure the rest of this mess out.

Right. Lesgo.

On the comforting side, the first trainer we see has a level 65 thing too. So the side picked didn’t severely change the outcome of. things.

The first thing I see is Lairon, but I have an Aron.

-considers-

Let’s see if I can catch you.

Score, I can. I forgot the Quick Ball, but damage lined up to make it a clean catch. I’mma name you Daffy.

I think. I need to grind more than anything. My surviving team is very much at risk, and Piglet is wholly untrained. Both of those things need fixing. Hopefully it won’t involve chasing down Slugma.

To Dragonspiral and Jellicent, I guess. One step at a time.

(Bandit learned Surf, by the way. Because. Something needed to know that.)

Piglet is evolving! Form of... Grumpig!

Bodacious.

What EVs does Reshiram give? Because if it’s Special Attack...

That’s worth investigating.

Cue nothing but Baltoy. ...I also don’t know what Baltoy gives. ...Or Snorunt. Snorunt is also here. Along with Piplup.

Reshiram gives Special Attack.

I’m taking this as confirmed based on recording several levels of Piglet’s stats attacking nothing but Reshiram. A wild extra point of Special Attack appeared. That makes some things so much easier. I don’t know the exact numbers on what I’m looking for out of Piglet (I think maybe max HP, some convenient split of Special Defense, Defense, and Special Attack), but. Geez this is a relief.

Looking at the numbers though, Piglet isn’t going to be able to pack much of a punch no matter how many EVs I pour into him. I need to focus on tank power.

Maxing HP, then whatever’s left will go to Special Defense and Defense.

Only not in that order.

My memory being what it is, I’m not sure, but I think Relicanth might have Defense and Attack EVs. So I’m just here for Cloyster. I’ll down twenty, then go back to HP grinding. Simple.

Cue no Cloyster.

I should level up Bandit so I start getting better stuff with all this walking.

[one hour later]

This is still boring. I should have figured out my other replacements so I could do this all at once. At least one would have to have similar EV desires, right?

But then I’d have to figure out the other two.

My guess is it will be Yanmega and Jellicent. Fluttershy and Peanut.

But.

I want to wait. Just. Just in case.

Also, screw it, Bandit gets the other Exp. Share. I have two, I’m going to use them. I’m also going to use some PP Ups on Fido’s Flamethrower. Healing after every fifteen fights is. No.

[many hours later]

Okay. HP handled.

Sigh.

The journey continues.

[another hour (okay maybe not really)]

Yay!

I think what I want to do right now is level up what I have rather than focus on training any other new ones. I need to watch those exp bars zoom to the moon. It will sustain me in my grief/exhaustion.

Since I’m in Opelucid anyway, I’m just going to go right and hang in the grass until I’m slightly more confident in the ability of my team to not die.

Wild Pichu are not that helpful in that endeavor. Nor are Mime Jr. Granbull. You are our only hope in this arena.

...

I miss Tock [’s Shadow Ball] so much.

The fear of death is omnipresent. Too much has happened. Where once there was confidence, now there is only dread. Recovery is a faint glimmer of a dream off in the distance.

Neat. Kingdra is also here.

-tilts head-

Yeah, repeats. But still.

I wonder if anything helpful’s in the water.

Well. There’s a level 35 Surskit.

Leaning towards a hard no.

Oh wait, what am I doing. It should be all legendary murdering all the time.

It’s so frustrating, because I just keep thinking hey, I can go fight the trainers along the path for more exp! Then the rest of me remembers that I should not do that.

I don’t think I checked out the dark grass in the route I found Reshiram. I’ll check that out for a quick look. It will possibly be followed by running away as fast as humanly possible, but eh.

That’s not too bad.

...Ah. Levels 58 and 57.

Their danger levels and their exp levels sadly do not line up. Gonna stick with the Reshiram grass.

...Also gonna check what’s in the water of the route with the level 68 hellbeasts.

NO I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU TURNED AROUND.

-deep breath-

-deep scream-

Okay. Okay. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

Level 64 Primeape, Piglet gets switched in. ..And survives a Close Combat crit.

So then, Piglet is at 23 HP thanks to two Thrashes, and now Palm is out to hopefully do away with a level 64 Scrafty. Yes, because Palm is Palm Wonderful. Last one is a level 64 Poliwrath. Palm gets a crit because Palm loves us.

Piglet learns Power Gem because I don’t have the guts to use Rest as a real strategy.

All right. Lived.

Super Rod leads to Palpitoad. That’s not a bad thing to know. Regular Surfing leads to Wigglytuff. That’s better than the Reshiram grass for leveling if it’s the only thing in the water. But then there’s Shellder.

New area!

Undella Town and Undella Bay are different places, so I must take care with Surfing for my new friend.

This is the town’s choice. I throw a Quick Ball. Metapod caught. Now if only he had a name. Hm.

You can be Crystal.

And this is the choice of the bay. Another Quick Ball is thrown. A Hoothoot is caught. Her name is Winnie.

I’m fast approaching the end of new areas. The map is almost completely lit up.

I think it might be okay to face trainers in the water, because I have Palm. So I’m going to try that, and hope I don’t soon have reason to cry like a baby again.

Level 63 Staryu.

You know, my new question is why that one girl had level 68 monstrosities.

There’s a Quagsire here that we don’t get to catch. ;-;

Oo, and Electrode. I’ve always loved Electrode. It smiles.

I have the HM for Dive now! Yay?

RUN

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

RUN.

-severe whimpering noises-

We are not in any way, shape, or form ready for post-game Cynthia. I have memories of grinding against her and others in this house thing, but those teams were allowed to come back after dying.

I will fight her before I fight the Elite Four. Because if I can’t beat her, I have no business facing the Elite Four again (...I think).

Okay, moved up to Route 13 because I don’t actually have anything that can learn Dive. New area. Time to see what we get.

Hmmmmmmmm. Quick Ball get.

Finneon’s new name is F9.

I can’t help but notice that other trainers don’t walk around with level 68 pokemon. I guess that means I really am exploring the entire map before I start training another pokemon. That is possibly misguided, but I really just... am not ready to finalize my final (I hope) team.

Um.

I.

Wait, what the fuck?

I. I was typing.

WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS TYPING. PALM TOOK A HEX BUT HIS HP WAS STILL GREEN AND THEN.

WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

It uses Hydro Pump against Piglet, so if I were to guess...

How is this still getting worse.

Palm.

Palm Wonderful.

I have no words.

I am distraught.

I will miss you so much.

I no longer have the option of being cute about this. I can’t be walking around with three pokemon in an area where I’m losing them at this rate. I guess the simple fact is that things are now high enough level to know seriously dangerous moves, and there is no truly safe option except for absurd over-leveling.

I need to select three new ones.

I have Fido, Rojo, and Piglet. Fire, Rock/Fighting, and Psychic. I can basically pick whatever I want. And as much as I hate to say it, Palm’s loss keeps me from being overstocked on Fighting. So. If I wanted...

But what do I want?

I want to stack the deck. How do I do that.

IV checker. Everything I might consider using is getting a free checkup.

It’s a sea of “above average”s. With a few “decent”s here and there.

Maybe I should try something different. Maybe I should just select the pokemon I love most. That’s the point of a Nuzlocke, right? Getting attached? In terms of Type coverage, there are things I can do, but. I don’t wanna do that. I want to pick the things I love most. If it has good odds on ending horrifically no matter what I do, I want to have as much fun as possible.

Swiper and Wagston are in. As for the last one, that remains to be seen.

If memory serves, Riolu evolves into Lucario with good happiness during the daytime. So I should start walking. He will also be given a Soothe Bell. I think I’ll spend my time leveling up what remains. Rojo can kill a million Reshiram and become a demigod in addition to a legendary.

Oh, and sportsball. Let’s go do today’s.

Baseball! Baseball is fun.

Have I been here since finishing the plot?

I have, right? There isn’t going to be a huge level jump?

This level 65 Persian staring me down says I’m a moron.

-paces-

I should not be here. I should leave. Straight away.

But Piglet is a tank. Everything I uses in battle is over 60.

This stupidity is now on record. I’m going to try to beat the baseball peeps.

This level 66 Simipour makes me miss Palm so terribly.

Wow, I should not be doing this.

And yet.

There are a lot more trainers here now.

Level 64 Conkeldurr vs level 64 Piglet. My future nightmares start this way.

Piglet is victorious, and we continue this horrible decision!

...

You know what, this is stupid. Piglet hurt himself in confusion twice, then I used a Lemonade to get him back to full health, then the Unfezant’s Sky Attack did. That.

So. This is going badly.

Piglet, I swear I’d say sorry, but I’m mostly just dwelling on how amazingly screwed I am. So. Uh.

So.

tfw I have two usable pokemon!

[trashpita]

Tags to go through so far [bulleted means checked, * means no non-source or old take posts, @ means for a new media % means eliminated]

buzzfeed unsolved

taz

taz balance

mlp

* avengers

% brooklyn 99

% b99

% video

% artemis fowl

% keanu reeves

webcomics

% fanart

mlp

% klaus

% mama mia

% oceans 8

% splatoon

% tatbilb

who the FUCK is coochie

I need to watch it

% carmen sandiego

% sword and shield

% pokemon

% final space

high guardian spice

% america

% trumps america

% marie kondo

* 2020

% covid 19

% vriska serket

% fuck it I’m just tagging it

% spoilers without context

% no context spoilers

the raw power

@ su [referring to su future]

* kim possible

deadpool

Miraculous

bnha

Voltron

homestuck

ask

STOPPED AT TAG 100 (trumps america)

page 109/109 [everything is tagged as a fandom, l8r, or wrong blog] [if it’s for a fandom you’re caught up on add #[fandom name] and #l8r]

Multiples (more tags = listed first)

none rn

Tags to Keep (other than fandoms)

- if there is only a fandom, it is for not-yet-consumed media. NO 'to watch' 'to read' etc. on these. (Maybe add tag of “new”?)

l8r (add type? ie video, quiz, audio, text, photo)

to read [these are manga, book series, webcomics, even fics or whatever else to come back to. INCLUDE fandom tags. also include TYPE: books, manga, webcomics, fanfic] (remove plural?)

to watch [anime, movie, whatever series. ADD to fandom tags]

to listen [bands, podcasts pilots, playlists]

to make [art stuff on reblog]

quiz

research [things I may want to buy/download/install/make i.e. pirate stores, wifi ad blockers, etc]

reference [things like tutorials, knowledge sources, I'm not sure if I want this tag]

blogs to explore

tags to explore [consume the entirety of them chronologically please. Include the tag op uses and if it pertains to a fandom, the fandom tag]

lists to explore [wikis to read when bored, playlist generators, any post with a large collection of links]

source [for posts where op is dead/deleted the post, if I reblog straight from here. KEEP or REMOVE fandom tags? current vote is REMOVE.]

old ass take not going on my main [if the post is not at all what I think now]

old post is broken [video missing, broken link, etc. you can try to fix it if you know what the original was]

??? [Idk]

you suck at excel

insomnia catalog - things to read when bored

iswm alien text chart

learn something new

art book pdf

radio

movie/tv/book server

writers' guide to alcohol

orb compendium

usps operation santa

save your laptop's life

old website search engine

mutual aid/tenants union

color palette tool

fun google maps locations

spotify and youtube mods

upcycling clothing

Games [tag could be to play or to research or both ig]

Heaven Will Be Mine

Coral Island

Posts I want to add to

Bad Guys genderbend

Programs

homestuck browser update

break/fix windows 10

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

-

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary 

-

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

-

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

-

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

-

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

-

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

-

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding 

-

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

-

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

-

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

-

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

-

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

-

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

-

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

-

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

-

o hai rayfa

-

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

-

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred 

-

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”. 

-

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

-

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude. 

-

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

-

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

-

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

-

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont 

-

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

-

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil 

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

-

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

-

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

-

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

-

phew. im glad Maya’s ok. 

-

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

-

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov. 

-

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

-

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

-

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this 

-

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix  Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

-

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

-

...a tasty... hash house

i

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

-

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

-

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

-

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

-

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo 

-

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

-

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

-

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it 

-

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

-

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard 

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

-

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

-

oh well that was abrupt 

meh, onwards to the tomb

-

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

-

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog 

-

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts. 

-

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago 

-

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

-

 alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something 

-

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping 

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

-

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings  

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

-

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we 

-

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames. 

ooh i like that last one though

-

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

-

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation 

-

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

-

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

-

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

-

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

-

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

-

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice. 

-

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

-

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant 

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

-

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

-

oh ok he didnt say anything 

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

-

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth 

-

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

-

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

-

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad? 

-

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened 

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you? 

-

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

-

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

-

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

-

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

-

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING 

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

-

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

-

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

[shooshopath]

Finished MEA

THE GOOD THE CC. yeah yeah there’ve been like 5000000 complaints about it and like 60% of them are valid but also I can actually make an East Asian Ryder. Like it took 6 games but bioware finally got there LET ME HAVE THIS BEFORE DA4 TAKES IT AWAY BECAUSE APPARENTLY EAST ASIAN PEOPLE DONT EXIST IN THEDAS. VETRA. light of my life. My moon and stars. So tall. So kind. She’s just-so good. Like she keeps a literal crate of cereal in her room how was I supposed to not romance her. Honestly I really liked almost all of the tempest crew, barring Cora who…I don’t dislike, I just wish she’d talk about something besides asari. But I really think her story of self doubt has a lot of potential if it’s done correctly. GAMEPLAY. Fighting in this game is so fun! I’m not a fan of the profile set up but combat in general is so much more fluid and dynamic without being too frustrating. I do wish the guns did more damage but I was also admittedly playing on hardcore. Yes that was a humblebrag let me have this. In general my melee weapon did a lot more damage than any of my firearms which I guess is fine, though it did get a little boring constantly going pull-charge-melee on everything. THE SIDEQUESTS. I made it a point to only do the ones that sounded interesting but honestly they’re so much better than DAI’s. KADARA was probably the best part of the game for me. Fun plot line, interesting lore, not having to crawl inside the nomad every five minutes so I don’t die. THE BEST. THE NOMAD is so much better than the mako. I feel regret for every time I ever insulted the nomad on Eos because I can actually turn with it and that’s a feeling I never thought I’d get to experience with a vehicle in mass effect. THE ANIMATION. yeah yeah it’s weirdly jerky and a lot of the faces are cringey but after the patch it still looks better than any of the other mass effect games sorry not sorry THE FINAL QUEST. Actually really enjoyed the final charge. It kind of feels like what me3 should have been, in that all the allies you made throughout the game actually show up to help you and be your meatshields in combat. Also twin angst feels. LOYALTY MISSIONS. good shit.

THE MEH LIAM is not meh. Liam is an angel. But I feel like the people who wrote his loyalty mission/convos with ryder and the people who wrote his banter with other squadmates were on two completely different pages. It feels like he’s presented as friendly, open, and willing to break the rules to do what’s right, but then I’m in the nomad and half the convos between him and other squadmates have him with a stick up his ass and acting like a by the book cop. Which we were told that he quit BECAUSE he wasn’t like that. But whatever. THE ANGARA are ok. Though the game keeps on telling me they’re open with their emotions and I…did not see that. Like crying because you found out your mortal enemy is a zombified version of your race or being angry that a bunch of aliens are suddenly all up in your grill seem pretty reasonable to me. I enjoyed the moshae, it’s nice having a character who is firmly confident in her beliefs. VANGUARD. is so broken. 90% of the time I loved the combat and I’m either at full barriers all the time ripping turrets apart with my sword or I’m dead because the kett two feet in front of me is apparently an Invalid Target and I can’t charge them. Unrelated but I feel like vanguard mains are equivalent to dog owners in that we can’t and won’t shut up about how vanguard is the best class even if you’re talking about any other class. It’s Me. I’m guilty of this. ASARI FACES are all the same and a lot of people have complained about this but it’s actually true for all the of the original games as well, they just hid it better through lots of variations in makeup, skin tone and facial markings. It seems like a combination of the graphics being so much better and way less variation in terms of makeup/tattoos just made it incredibly blatant. SAM is…SAM’s ok, they just seem way too overpowered and I still don’t really understand what about them specifically makes them able to control the remnant besides Alec Ryder being Just That Good Of A Programmer. I like that SAM grows along with Ryder and you can see that as the game progresses (especially that Convo with your sibling near the end, that was Good), they just need to set some limitations on what they’re capable of because right now 80% of the quests are just “wave SAM at the thing to do the thing.” REYES VS SLOANE. Out of context I really enjoyed this plot line and Kadara, but…man, pitting the only prominent black woman in the game against one of only two mlm romance options and forcing you to choose between them is. Not great. Also, it feels like they were definitely pushing for the player to go with reyes-you get more chances to know and interact with him, and the game’s a lot more blatant about how evil sloane is compared to him when in actuality they’re both very morally grey. Also, if you’re playing a gay Ryder and you’re uncomfortable with letting sloane die you’re fucked either way since it’s either let that happen or not have the chance to finish the romance path of one of only two options (and if you’re not interested in the baby plot, really the only option). Also I loved Reyes he is a great character but please for the love of god hire someone who is actually latino to voice him because right now all I hear is default white mhawke trying and failing to do a sexy accent to impress his LI.

THE NONSENSE THE ORB BOSS KETT THINGS are stupid. HAINLY ABRHAMS aka we fucked up writing a trans character so we’ve just decided to remove any reference of her being trans at all to make up for it. Bioware, progressive bastion of the video game industry. JILL is exactly as bad as you would expect and I hope to god they just remove her from the game completely. FANDOM. yes yes it’s unrelated to the game but I’ve already seen like five posts whitewashing Reyes and another five turning him into a goddamn stereotype and I. I am so tired. THE KETT are so boring. I’m sorry they just. They just are. Also the Archon talks about genetic perfection yet his head is literally??? A horn circle??? There’s literally no plausible reason I can think of for why a species obsessed with being the strongest would use its resources and considerable scientific knowledge to grow a kett who has the equivalent of a Christmas ornament hanger on his head, in fact I’d argue it’s actually a detriment, like every time I see it I just want to yank. Also how would that even grow?? I’m assuming it acts similar to how horn growth occurs in mammals so how do the two horns eventually converge into one, and why would you want them to converge when having horns is already way more useful than a stupid halo that’s just begging for someone to loop a rope through and use him as a door knocker. Like the only feasible reason for why it exists is for target practice? Like some Kett hazing ritual, haha shoot through the horncle for 50 points it’ll be fine I swear come on man oh no oh fuck oh shit run. It’s so useless and serves absolutely no purpose yet some important kett scientist knowingly made this aesthetic choice. None of the other Kett leaders have it so why???! Does it exist????? I can’t take him seriously every time I see him and his deep ominous voice and his baby face I just can’t get past the horncle it destroys the tension why did whoever was in charge of character design let this happen goddamnit

[commanderlurker]

I've had a day to decompress, I’ve thought about the game, and I've worked through a few of my feelings on it. They are contradictory and hypocritical. I fully acknowledge that. 

2,300 word diatribe under the cut, with game spoilers and character hate. I need to get it out of my system so I can move on with my life.

I went into the game with low expectations and the game still managed to let me down. I think one of the reasons for this is that I went into the game with the wrong mindset. I went in with high expectations for the characters while not really giving a shit about the story, because characters are what Bioware is good at! But in the end, the story was the most interesting part while the characters... well... they lacked.

My one continual feeling throughout the game was boredom. The side quests were boring. Travelling between systems was boring. Side quests that required you to travel between systems were so boring. Mining was boring. Crafting was boring. The characters were, mostly, boring.

There were a few moments of ah! Yes! But they were let down by poor execution. Take Ryder Family Secrets, for example. I absolutely loved that quest line and if I end up writing any fic for Andromeda, it will be based on this. Sure, finding floating orbs of light as 'memory triggers' was dumb but it's a game mechanic so whatever. The memories themselves were great. Alec's reasoning for partitioning them was mostly great. Then the big reveal at the end? Your mum isn't dead? WHOAH!! BUT, and this is a huge but,  the reactions you get from the two Ryders are, 'Wow! Isn't this great! Mum's not dead!' But I'm sitting here like, WHAT THE FUCK GUYS??? I was fucking pissed off that Dad hadn't told us. That he'd lied about her dying, that he'd gone so far as to take an unconscious woman who had already accepted her death to another fucking galaxy possibly without her consent. Don't get me wrong, it's a great twist! But the execution, the fact that the only 'angry' option I had to respond with was a confused and sad 'why didn't dad tell us' instead of an actual angry 'wtf dad' response really pissed me off and took away from the emotional impact of that whole story.

Sticking to the Ryders for a moment, I really did love my Ryder. Frustrating character creator aside, I made someone who looked great and the VA was perfect for her. I can’t stand BroRyder’s VA but that’s just me, not really a legitimate criticism against the game. BUT that your sibling is asleep for such a long part of the game doesn’t really give you much time to develop a relationship with them, or ‘remember’ them, as it were. Sibling wakes up and is very soon thrown into the Main Plot deep end. The stakes are raised too soon. I was sitting here thinking, if I end up having to choose between me and Bro, I’m going to choose me because I have very little reason to care about Bro.

First contact with the Angara was really underwhelming. We get a couple of interactions where we can't understand each other and then our translators kick in no problem. That's what annoyed me the most, actually. That they were so wary of outsiders/aliens was understandable in light of what you learn about the Kett, so I have no complaints there. But the whole scene was just… short. And… dull. That was really frustrating.

And, this might just be me being an Antipodean, but making the angara sound foreign by giving them Australian (and Dickens-eque servant/maid) accents just made me laugh. I kept expecting an Angara to turn up with a cork hat and a dagger between her teeth and suggest we go wrestle a crocodile. Not really a complaint, just something weird that kept pulling me from the game in an amusing way.

My other translation gripes are with the Kett interactions and then the Jadaan at the end. How did SAM manage to instantly translate this dead language? ~plot reasons~ obviously. SAM ended up coming across as a bit of a deus ex machina, except when the plot meant he needed time to decrypt something that he had no problem decrypting from a mission ago.

One thing I really liked about SAM: When you're in the Archon's ship and SAM say he (is he a he?? I don't care) has to stop your heart, kill you, in order to get you out of the Arcon's fancy jail. That for me was cool. It really highlighted the AI/Human conflict, and the characters' reaction to that, Lexi, in particular, was great. Again, if I write anything, the AI/Human relationship will be considered (but there are people out there who will do a much better job of that than me), BUT I didn't really feel like I had enough time to work up to that, to consider life before an AI implant and life after.

Game play: There were a couple of very frustrating instances of the game not being good in telling you what to do. In Liam's loyalty quest, you have to shoot/smash through a wall, but there is nothing about that wall to indicate that it is smashable. I kept following my quest marker and getting stuck at the wall, thinking, it can't be this way, I must need to go another way. In another mission, I encountered another such wall and Ryder or someone said, 'maybe try shooting it'. I don't know if I just didn't hear that the first time or what, but I got so fucking frustrated (don't get me started on how much I fucking hated Liam's loyalty mission and how much I ended up hating Liam afterwards.) I ended up watching a walkthrough on youtbube and when I this fucking player just shot the wall I almost threw my fucking controller across the fucking room. My god. In other games, a breakable wall is usually pretty obvious: a different pattern, a slightly off colour. It looks out of place. But these breakable walls just looked like they were part of the room.

The Krogan/Salarian conflict: Oh my god. Call me a space racist, I don't give a fuck, but I fucking hate the krogan and wish they'd not been brought to Andromeda. Being constantly reminded how much the Krogan and Salarians hate each other was really fucking grating. Morda was a fucking cunt. Wanted to shoot her. Wanted to nuke the entirety of New Tuchanka (with the exception of the nice romantic krogan guy. He was a sweetheart).

There is no nuance to their conflict. In the Trilogy, the krogan are fucking awful, too, but they're tempered by Wrex. The Salarians' involvement in the genophage is ~okay~ because Mordin is cool. (I don't like Mordin, FYI, I think he’s a fucking dick). But in Andromda, the generations-long conflict is constantly shoved down your fucking throat to the point where I stopped caring about the Krogan at all. Grow up, put on your big boy pants, and join the negotiation table. Stop playing the victim and acting like none of this is your fault (to be fair to them, they were treated very badly on the Nexus), take some responsibility, and stop threatening to blow people up. Terrorism, or the threat of terrorism, doesn't make people want to work with you, Morda! Or whoever. That quest was confusing. I wasn’t paying attention because my god, I just stopped caring about the fucking krogan and their fucking problems.

The shove-down-your-throat issue was really highlighted on the Archon’s ship. The choice between saving the Salarian Pathfinder and her mates, or some random fucking krogan scouts of Drack’s? Of course I’m going to choose the fucking pathfinder over some random fucking krogan scouts. Oh my god. What is wrong with the krogan.

On the topic of cunts, how the fuck did so many low life scum get into the Initiative in the first place? Just how many fucking exiles were there?!?! I killed so many. SO MANY. HUNDREDS. And the hundreds more in Kadara Port that I also wanted to murder with nuclear weapons but for some reason the game didn't give me that option. I read Nexus Uprising and while it gave me a bit more context (especially with Sloane--but that's a can of worms I'm not going to open right now) than what non-readers had, neither the book nor the game really answer a) how these fucks got into the Imitative and b) why so many people were woken up. If I remember correctly, only two people in the book had manual override codes for the cryo pods, and Tann, Addison, and Kelly agreed (for once) to only wake those needed to get the Nexus working. But there must have been, what, 10k people across the Nexus and the exiles? That’s the impression I got. I understand the need for “low skill” people like dancers and bar staff and cleaners in Helius, fuck, not everyone is a scientist, but I question why the people likely to shiv you were allowed in. That made me really depressed, actually. You travel to another fucking galaxy and we end up with another Omega. Great. Conflict like that lasts generations. Sons and sons and sons of the first exiles hating the sons and sons and sons of the Nexus for history that no one really remembers the truth behind. I vacillated between wanting to save as many as I could, bring them back into the Nexus family, and wanting to fucking nuke them all.

This leads to a point that I read in another post: Just about everywhere you, as Ryder, went, the exiles had been already. Whether it was a planet or a star system, chances are, Ryder stumbled across stolen Nexus shuttles/gear/satellites. In a game that was advertised as going-where-humans-have-never-been-before, there sure weren't that many opportunities for Ryder to actually be the first.

Do I do a breakdown of the characters? I feel like I should, since I went into this game really hoping to find my new OTP, the person who would break my heart in all the right ways. Positive first: I really liked all the female squadmates. That was the one thing I wanted and the one thing I got: Likeable women. I didn't fall in love, but I did get a great female crew.

All in all, the characters fell flat, and that's the most disappointing part of Andromeda. In Inquisition, I could forgive the shit plot and that the whole story peaked with the destruction of Haven because the characters made up for it. In Andromeda, the characters were at best, interesting, but mostly not much more than cardboard cutouts. Not much in the way of nuance. They rarely felt like real people, fleshed out.

Cora was not what I was expecting personality wise but I loved her anyway (except for her tragic biosecurity blunder with the seeds on Eos, but I'm putting that down to writing rather than her character). Her loyalty mission made me feel feelings, which is an achievement, to be honest.

Vetra is amazing. She's wonderful. I love her and I love Sid. Had she not been turian, I would have romanced her in a heartbeat.

Peebee was fun and unpredictable. She's who I ended up romancing and I enjoyed it, but that's all.

Liam. He was gone as soon as I figured out how to change my squad (and that took a fucking long time. That loadout system is not intuitive at all). I liked him fine to start off with, I just preferred Cora and Peebee on my squad. But then came his loyalty mission and fuck him. He was out. I was glad I got to yell at him at the end. Never used him again.

Drack grew on me. Totally love grandpa Drack. Surprise star. Still, never took him out except when I had to deal with the Krogan, which I avoided whenever possible.

Jaal got on my tits. Bro, please talk faster. I have five other crew mates to talk to, I don't have all day.

After I got over my disappointment of Lexi being an Asari and not, you know, Natalie Dormer, I really liked her.

Suvi's great. Liked her a lot, especially after you discover the ~truth~ about the Angara. There’s lots of nuance there, lots to explore in terms of creation and evolution. Her lip gloss looks like it tastes like strawberries.

Once I could remember Kallo's name, he was cool. I liked his and Gil's continual conflict and the way it was resolved.

Gil was great, though I worry he has a gambling addiction. I don’t have any strong feeling either way on his baby with Jill. I thought Jill was a dick, but whatever, I didn’t need to be friends with her.

I really liked the main missions. For the most part, it was action packed, full of suspense and wonder, and well executed. HOWEVER the Archon was a pretty fucking boring antagonist. One sided. I did see a post that talked about him being effectively a middle manager defeated by his own hubris, and that take does add some interest to him, but ultimately, he's boring. The kett are boring. They are Collectors. There is barely a difference between them and the Collectors. Cough *reapers* cough. A more interesting story could have involved just the Remnant tech. But you got to shoot, something, I suppose.

A list of the other shit I didn't like: crafting, R&D, AVP, mining, SAM talking over my squadmates to tell me shit I already know about AVP and mining, huge maps, mining, why the fuck am I the one doing the fucking mining, HUGE MINERAL DEPOSITS of 67 iron wow thanks that's great.

Yeah. I think that's it. I'm disappointed by how disappointed I am. I resent how much of the game is shit, and how much that shit detracts from what is actually good. I don't know how many of my complaints are legitimate criticisms or nitpicking, or whatever. But like I said at the start of this diatribe, I went in with low expectations and the game failed to even make it to that low bar. Perhaps, after enough time has passed, I'll pick the game up and stick only to Priority and Allies missions and hopefully enjoy it more. But right now? I'm bored. So bored. And so disappointed.

[carriagelamp]

Okay. Sometimes I seriously feel like people misunderstand what the fundamental point (hurr hurr) of Overwatch is. Because spoiler alert, it’s not gold elims or play of the game.

I’d been considering this in an eye-rolling sort of way previously, but this entire thought is brought to you by one aggravating Widow on the Ilios map in qp...

Now, I’ll start this off by saying I’m not that good of a player and I know it. There’s a reason I don’t bother with comp and keep my ass in quick play and arcade. That being said though, I do really like puzzle games. I like playing healers and I liked playing tanks because I feel like they both require a lot of focus in order to keep track of your team and the enemy team and figure out how to position yourself to keep the tides of the game flowing right, same for characters like Mei who can reshape the map or Junkrat who works as a trapper and means being able to guess enemy movements. That shit’s interesting to me.

Now on this Ilios map, we were being stomped.  Our team was Winston (me), Widowmaker, Hanzo, Ana, McCree, and Pharah which... yeah, as it is it’s easy to see why that didn’t work out. I’ll give you a hint: that lovely yellow too many snipers warning box was glaring disapprovingly at us the entire match. But the thing is, I’m not sure everyone realizes why it doesn’t work. 

The team was ranting and accusing each other “discussing” the loss at the end of the match. Now the Widow points out that, excuse me, she has gold eliminations so obviously she isn’t the problem, why wasn’t everyone else carrying their weight???

Firstly: like? well done? that’d be fantastic if the point of the damn game was to have the highest kill score. which it isn’t. The actual, non-masturbatory goal is to capture the point, no matter what the fucking glory hunters say.

That being said, I’m not saying the fault lies on the Widow. Having her on a well balanced team would have probably been an asset. The problem was we had three snipers who all want to stay safely away from the point, and a McCree and Pharah who both also work best at long range and weren’t jumping in. As the team’s tank, that pretty much left me high and dry because I was relying on people following my shield and helping me deal damage so that we could claim the point. Even if there are a lot of eliminations, if it’s just this gradual trickle of death, it still makes it impossible for the tank to safely lay claim to the point because... they just come back to life and walk back onto the point.  Hell, even if there was a team kill and the tank took the point, how long could a lone tank keep the point when the team came back en masse?

So basically that match was a constant string of death because the healer needed a tank to live, and the tank needed solid, on the ground dps to live, and all of our dps was ranged, so the tank died so the healer died so everyone died. Constantly, all match.

To reiterate: I’m not saying having a good Widowmaker or Hanzo or whatever is bad.  But team comp is actually a thing, and it’s a thing for a reason, not just something for people to whine about.

-

A related incident that happened not that long ago, was an attack on Hanamura, and after failing to get the first point there was, again, relentless bitching in the chat.  Someone was just railing on our poor Winston who kept leaping at the point and dying, and our Winston was pissed because he felt that no one was supporting him.

I mentioned that Winston was trying his best, but we had an issue of resource management.

To which the dick-head snidely corrected me by saying *team comp

like, did I fucking stutter brah? No, our team comp was actually fine, the issue was resource management.  Yes, as I’ve said above, team comp is important but it’s not the be all and end all of this game.  You have to see the map and figure out how the battle is moving if you want to cut off the vital bits.

We had a Winston and a Roadhog.  The Winston kept leaping on the point to get a shield down while the Roadhog kept flanking, trying to pick of squishies.  Neither of these are fundamentally bad ideas, both work well with basic character design, but it wasn’t right for this map. I was playing Zen, and Zen’s actually good at dealing with a turret, as long as it’s not aiming at him. He can shoot precicely, from a long distance, with considerable damage. Two good hits and I can take a turret down, add a discord orb to the Torb and it’s a good day. I tried to do this while Winston was on the point fighting the Torb/turret, but obviously Winston is a soft tank and even with my orb he couldn’t live long enough for us to make headway. It didn’t help that there was a sniper keen on picking off a distracted healer.

This is poor resource management.

Now consider taking the Roadhog and putting him on the point. He can play the bullet sponge and between my orb and his healing, he’d have distracted the turret long enough for me to take it down, and then could have wiped the floor with the Torb.  Meanwhile, sent Winston to flank, and get rid of the sniper -- he can reach out-of-the-way ledges and handle a lower health sniper easily.

Then we’d be down a turret, down a sniper, have everyone mostly alive and easily manage to push the dps onto point and capture it.

-

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like people realize how much resource management can make or break a match, regardless of team comp.  I feel it a lot as a healer.  For example, often my priority is keeping the tank on their feet. They’re meant to absorb damage, and so it’s my job to make sure they can keep doing that. If a tank goes down, you can easily lose a point, whereas if a dps goes down, a decent tank can often hold until the dps respawns and gets back.

So while a healer will do their damnedest to keep everyone at full health and fighting, if a battle goes bad sometimes you need to prioritize. I’ve had Genji’s get mad at me for not healing them when they call for it, going so far as to stand in front of me while I’m frantically trying to get a D.Va off critical. They don’t seem to understand that, as far as I’m concerned, a) we could die without our one tank but the four dps on the team or semi-interchangeable, and b) as an offense hero, you’re likely a lot more mobile than a tank.  As a fast moving, agile attacker/flanker, you should know the map and you should know where all the health packs are. I do. If I’m low on health and it’s obvious the healer can’t help me right now, I fuck off as quick as I can, grab a health pack, and run back. Even as a character like Winston or D.Va, I recognize that I am a) highly mobile, and b) take a long time to heal, so I’ll often zip off to a big health pack and rush back to the point, if the battle permits. A five second walk away and back is better than the time it takes to respawn.

-

There’s just... so many little, basic things that come with being concious of the battle rather than being hyperfocussed on the end of your gun. Guarding someone who’s been put to sleep or knocked down, dropping shields in front of healers, taking the damage meant for someone else if you have a big health pool, building walls to block ults or charging enemies, using concussive blasts or mines to keep Symmetra’s away, using aoe damage to deal with turret clusters... Good team comp can’t save you if you can’t think as a team. And obviously it’s harder with randoms and no voice chat, but it’s not impossible to realize simple problems and readjust.

And this includes switching characters. Taking on a second tank or a second healer if necessary, changing from one dps to another, swapping to a defensive role, whatever the map needs. Be Sombra for a bit if you need to get a shield down, go Pharah if you need to disrupt enemy lines, be Winston if your team is suffer Symmetra, be Reinhardt if your team needs a shield to teal with a Torb or a Bastion. Adapt.

-

As much as I enjoy the medals and potg, because it feels good when you can see that you’re doing good, they also annoy me because I feel like people fixate on them.  I’ve gone matches where I have no good medals to show for it but I feel good about my own game, because I know I played well and I know I did a lot to keep my team going.

Anyways, that’s my rant because I have had so many games that just don’t seem to get this concept.

and please stop playing all snipers on attack and for the love of god someone else pick healer besides me i am tired

[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog part 2

Spoilers!

Havarl

So, the planets with Remnant technology are the planned Habitats? If so, why didn't anyone comment on that? That we're following the Remnant map but finding our "golden worlds"? Wait, Havarl wasn't even on the map -- Jaal pointed us to it.

Come on, even aliens in another galaxy are misogynists?

Why are the memory prompts scattered all over the cluster? What are they?

I really don't like the amount of cover and a giant-ass turret.

God, the Vault is just breathtaking! I'm glad the low settings don't get in the way (unlike faces)

Died several times trying to fight all these Remnant... Turns out I just had to survive long enough to use a console. I should pay more attention to quest markers...

Aaaand the viability jumps to 73! Nice.

Can't access the chest. I guess I should have killed all the Remnant in the room to lift the forcefield?

Whoa! I can feel the fresh air.

"This curious memory transfer--" "Reincarnation" Um. Ummm. This sounds terribly familiar to our heroine's personal story... Memory transfer you say?

Hmm, I should visit the monks to see a new view from above. I'm lazy though... Oh look, I can just climb high on this roof instead!

Not only the sky, but the entire map is clear! Incredible. Now I can go back to the Tempest with clear conscience, too.

Tempest

So I assume if you went to Voeld first, the lady would be on Havarl? Why do we need her to access the vault, btw, I forgot?

So, one of the "golden worlds" was inhabited -- a home planet, no less! Why is Aya's vault "special" but Havarl's just a means to an end? Why didn't people try to set course to Havarl before, since it was one of the planned destinations?

"At a price?" What? The Roekaar (or whatever they're spelled) hated Ryder way before she earned the resistance leader's trust.

I'm not sure I've mentioned this before, but we did have to fight and kill natives to one of the planets we'd planned to colonize... And since turns out Jaal knows their leader, that means we're going to change their minds because of course who could oppose us once they knew us, we're the best.

Yes, I'm going to be sympathetic to him, and yes "I want peace" instead of "They need to be stopped"

With Peebee, there's a heart option just called "Flirting" which I assumed was a glitched duplicate of a previous heart option just called "Flirting". It's not. But it's just as awkward.

Aw, Vetra and Drack talking about younger family members...

Saved and tried to flirt with Suvi just to hear the dialogue. But you know, I kinda want to keep that awkward "wanna talk about science"... 

Oh right, I still need to do "Lost sister"... But I'm pretty tired of Havarl. And Jaal's quest will weigh me down... Let's pretend I'm halfway towards Aya now.

I'm gonna go check Eos before continuing the main quest.

Eos

Bradley has surprisingly emotional dialogue about all our loved ones back home being dead for 600 years.

Oh, and he advised me to be compassionate of the "pirates" because they're going through the same thing? Wow.

It's lucky I went to check Cora's LM first! Because the initial conversation sent me straight to Voeld. All roads lead to it! Main plot, Peebee's mission, Cora's mission. Good, let's go.

Btw, remember how I praised the lack of urgency that let me explore in peace? Well this mission kind of ruined it. This is a rescue operation! I felt guilty for sidetracking.

Voeld

And Voeld is Habitat-6. Of course.

Oh thank god there's a heater, I thought I was doing something wrong.

She's praising Efra so much... Is he going to become a bad guy?

Wait, so when I was talking to the Resistance for the past 30 minutes it wasn't a part of the main story? Who do I need then?

Oh, here they are, very unnoticeable, before the entrance.

The Kett base has weirdly nice weather! Not that I'm asking for an environmental hazard during a priority mission...

"Killing your allies is a lousy plan" Hmm, I heard there'll be a hard choice soon, I guess this is it. And since this is a priority mission, I won't be able to save right before it...

"Stasis pod school" Well yeah, haven't you heard of indoctrination?

"Chosen for what, exactly" To become kett, oh my god, haven't you played the original trilogy Drack

Oh look, 25+ hours into the game we see a dramatic reveal of what was immediately obvious from the publicity pictures of kett and angara. Like I mean even if we didn't have the OT where this happened to literally every species starting with the protheans, the faces are a dead giveaway. And of course Ryder has to play dumb and can't figure it out

Oh, she's surprised! Seriously, has no angara ever looked kett in the face and thought "hey, they look familiar"? 

And Jaal's shocked too. For fuck's sake, writers. 

Is the Moshae that woman we've seen in the trailer, standing with Ryder in a vault? She'll survive whatever I do, then.

Did this thing just sync-kill me

How many times can you recast your stupid orb, this is just boring

I'm glad cover can protect me from this Nova/Dark Spere :D

Well this was one of the hardest boss battles of my life. And I can't save afterwards. Guess I'll have to live with whatever decision I'm about to make.

Wait, he isn't dead! Ascendant surprise!

Oh, that's a she. Ok.

(She's beautiful btw. Looks more turian than angaran, actually.)

Well, that was an easy Paragon decision. They never backfire anyway. I took the interrupt though.

Just as someone said "We're ready for extraction," a fiend grabbed and sync-killed me. Of course...

BTW it's dumb that the game invites you to hold the platform in the end. It's an extraction wave! Why camp in the LZ?!

Oh dear, am I happy to finally save! 

That last left dialogue option was dumb. "My people have travelled so far" -- well nobody forced them to! Moshae was right to chastise Ryder after that. And of course, without saves, I can't go back and redo it.

Tempest

So, the kett are like Borg, too.

The angara are open and free with their feelings? They act exactly the same as all other species we've seen!

Okay, I don't care about Jaal's feelings about the plot that's so badly written, but it gave Ryder the opportunity to say something touching about her own family.

Hmm, do I click the "friend" option or not? I don't give a shit about him personally, but...

Okay, I clicked... Abort abort abort! It's basically a flirt option. Dammit, mark your shit correctly!!

And finally, the lack of quick saves creates a real problem... Good luck finding the save I need and redoing this conversation. I tried but it didn't restart.

Vetra: "I cannot help thinking that asari reproduction and kett exaltation are similar in a lot of ways" IS SHE IN THE GAME JUST TO VOICE ALL MY OBSERVATIONS??

Restarting again, the first left-handed option is weird. "I may seem tough, but I have a good shoulder". Tough? This peaceloving kiddo??

Yaaay, I redid it. When talking about family, left options, everything else -- right. That's my way of talking in general. Casual options are dumb and/or rude, emotional options are unbearably sappy.

Why is "I like it when you flirt" still not greyed out???

I hate to be militaristic, but the AVP/cryo capsule bonuses for military are the most useful...

Kallo, Suvi... I've visited Prodromos like three times already... I know that the radiation levels are better and there's more to explore... Why does the game not track these things?!

So um... are the Nomad mods installed automatically?

My mom studied biotics? AI scientist father, biotic scientist mother -- no wonder I'm a nerdy Sentinel!

"I won't run out on you", say I to Vetra even though she's only my second choice after Peebee

Nah, you know what, I'm not going to talk to her until I decide if I want Peebee or not. Don't want to lead Vetra on, it's cruel.

The conversation with Cora sounds like it takes place at least a week after that mission. Come on, writers, you know that players interested in the story talk to everyone right after major events!

Oh, I need to have an opinion about dad. This is stressful.

That second flirt option in the armor is -- well, "Did I say put your shirt on" doesn't sound good, especially considering I'm his boss...

Wait, so what did Liam requisition?

Btw of course this scene is where mom walked in the room lmao

Me: “I don’t think my Ryder is attracted to men at all, she only flirted with a man once and it was pretty platonic” Liam: *takes shirt off* Me: “Okay, fine, she likes men a little bit”

And I can only imagine how bitter mlm players are about this scene...

Voeld

Died twice and now stuck on loading again. Screw this, I'm going to multiplayer