#and we wonder why i have insomnia now haha

[moopiter]

I love getting all the little tumblr notifications they make me so happy

But I still get that primal fear when my phone goes off that i'm about to get a call from work lol.

I used to get called in at 10pm, then 3am, and then go to work like nothing happened at 7am and idk how i did it.

[innorogers]

Lucid

Steve Rogers x Dark Past Reader (You)

Summary: Steve finds out about your past. You're nothing as he thought you were. You are better.

Warning: Steve struggling / Past revelations / You don't have to read this: Chapter 1 - Insomnia, but it would enhance the experience if you did.

What do you do the night you meet the love of your life? You spend it with to him—talking, hugging, kissing, teetering on the edge of going further... but it doesn’t matter, because one day, you won’t recall the specifics. Years from now, future you will think back to this night and remember only the magic you felt, the moments your heart skipped a beat, and the wonder of it all.

In the present, as the first rays of sunlight rise from the east and touch your face, you can barely keep your eyes open, almost drifting off against Steve’s shoulder. Once he finds out you’ve just come off a 13-hour shift, he insists on walking you to your dorm. And though it seems to take every ounce of his willpower, he refuses your unspoken invitation to stay. Ever the gentleman.

After a shift that handed you five hours of overtime, you managed to get immediate compensation—and even figured out how to maximize your sleep: you'll shower later.

So, after Steve kisses you goodbye for the sixth time, you finally close the door and collapse into your pillow. Though, to be honest, you’d rather be falling asleep on his chest.

Captain America, on the other hand, was more awake than ever. The last time he felt this energized was when they thawed him from his popsicle state. It was like walking in sunlight, and he half-expected some cheesy background music to play as he moved through the halls.

But, as always, fate was waiting in the corner to throw a punch and kick his perfectly peach shaped ass.

You were still on his mind when he stepped into the Level 0 – Avengers Only common room. You hadn’t left his thoughts since he said goodbye to you... thirty minutes ago.

To his surprise, Natasha was already there – she was never up before 11 – typing something into a computer - she was also never on top of her paperwork -.

“Oh wow, this is rare.” Steve was in a mood—no, actually, "mood" wasn’t the right word. He was still wonderstruck, wrapped up in his own bubble of happiness because of meeting you. 

“Haha, hilarious,” Natasha deadpanned without even glancing up. “Go ahead and laugh now, Rogers. One day, that ‘I’m from the 40s, I don’t know this shit’ lame excuse is not gonna to fly anymore, and you’ll actually have to do some of this.”

“Well... by then, hopefully our genius philanthropist will have invented something to take this torture off our hands,” Steve replied, handing her a cup of coffee.

Now he had her attention.

“Someone’s in a good mood…” She raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Alright, spill.”

“Oh no, not a chance,” Steve shook his head, grinning. “Not happening.”

But after a pause, he added, “Hey, we have full access to everyone’s records here, right?”

“Yeah, Level 0 clearance,” Natasha replied, still focused on her typing. “You’ve got everything on your phone. Why?”

Steve glanced at your name in his phone and tried to sound casual. “What do you know about an engineer?” He wasn’t entirely sure if that was your title—you had mentioned it, but he had only been paying attention to the important stuff (like your favorite ice cream, song, hobbies, and what you wanted to do this Saturday night…).

“You’ll need to be more specific. I need an ID or at least a last name.”

“Illithya Lancaster,” he said softly, almost smiling as your name left his lips.

“Oh yeah,” Natasha responded immediately, “the one that goes by ‘Twelve,’ right?”

That got Steve’s full attention. He sat up straight, frowning. “‘Twelve’? Is that a nickname?”

“Code Name 12. Subject ID HE0012.” Natasha continued typing as though she were battling something. “You know what that means.”

“No.” Steve’s voice turned rigid. “I don’t.”

The typing finally stopped, and Natasha swiveled around in her chair to face him. “H for Hydra, E for experiment, number 12. She was one of Hydra’s experiments, Steve.”

That was a bucket of ice water he hadn’t expected. Right to the spine. Steve took a few seconds to find his voice.

“What?”

“There.” Natasha handed him an iPad with all the information: “See, here she is. Um… mission rescue R804, Siberia… Sokovia… yeah, she’s on Hydra's top confidential list, one of the few we’ve got. Stark moved mountains to save her from rotting in a federal prison for eternity.” She spoke quickly as she read, her voice unusually soft, full of compassion.

Steve paused for a moment, trying to recall if you’d mentioned anything about a nickname last night, but he didn’t think you had.

He could barely think. His voice, distant and faint, whispered: “‘Twelve’? What… happened to the other eleven?”

Swiping the iPad, Natasha didn’t even look up, just shrugged: “What do you think?” She didn’t notice Steve’s face go pale instantly. 

“Illithya was the only survivor, barely. Used and discarded as anything Hydra could imagine… like something disposable.” 

She sighed. “I’ve seen awful things, but this is one of the files I try to forget.”

Steve’s mind was in turmoil. He couldn’t think, and the pain in his chest seemed to crush every fiber of his being.

He couldn’t believe it. You, his treasured little secret, his enchanted, magical midsummer night, this beautiful, pure soulmate he’d fallen with—the one who told him a fairy would bring him all the stars—had been used, abused, treated like a guinea pig, nothing more than a lab rat?

He was beginning to understand the emotions rising within every cell of his body: a mix of uncontrollable anger, sadness, and fear.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, his voice wavered slightly: “...How… how long was she experimented on?”

Natasha set the file aside and looked him straight in the eye. There was empathy there. She knew Steve was shaken, so she softened her voice as much as she could, though her words remained honest.

“‘Till we got her? A lifetime. She was born and raised in captivity. Her entire existence was based on an experiment.”

Steve closed his eyes. It was more than he could bear. The pain he felt intensified with every word Nat spoke. 

He clenched his fists, veins bulging with rage. How could they. 

“How did you rescue her?” He found himself asking in a calm voice, as if inquiring about any other case.

“We didn’t. She escaped, and we found her. After you and Tony split in Siberia.” Nat pulled up the file again on the tablet and handed it to him, but Steve didn’t look. He wasn’t ready.

“So, until she got away…” Steve heard his voice, sounding unnervingly emotionless, and he hated it. “Was she under Hydra’s control her entire life?”

Black Widow didn’t respond at first. She nodded, just barely, while watching him. She was using the spy stare, reading everything beneath the surface, interpreting every unspoken word, every pause, every silence was a puzzle piece for her to figure out the entire picture.

“A lifetime under Hydra…” Steve whispered.

And he felt awful for saying it.

But there it was, a poisoned seed growing in the shadows of his mind. Steve wanted to bury it deep, but he couldn’t stop. 

The doubt crept in, spreading like a toxin—the thought that everything you’d been through had changed you.

How could you ever purge Hydra’s venom from your veins? Was it still there, lurking in every dormant cell, slowly expanding like a plague, consuming all the good, the magic, the purity in you? Corrupting you?

“Stop,” Natasha suddenly said.

She gave him a look Steve recognized—she was about to ask something that would make him think, really think.

After a deep breath, she spoke: “If you’re asking about her, it’s because you’ve met her, right? So, what do you think? Did she seem like a…villain? Or was she different? Special, maybe?”

Steve leaned back into the chair at her words, the memory of you filling his mind again, your innocence, your weird yet adorable responses, your naivety, your smile…You.

The touch of your hand, the softness of your voice, the pureness of your soul. The way you’d clung to him, spoke to him, trusted him, kissed him. He exhaled slowly, a ghost smile on his face. 

“No. I never thought of her as a villain. Or as any…negative. She was different, more than different. She was…she is…incredible…she’s wonderful…she’s…” Perfect.

Natasha remained in silence. Staring at him. Then she leaned up, her words like splashed ripples on the spring's surface. “Why do you trust Barnes, Steve?”

Her tone was calm and serene, yet it made Steve clench his fists. The question was unexpected, but not unanticipated—he knew she’d ask; she always pushed when she had that look.

“He was, or is, more Hydra than anyone we’ve ever rescued from those hellholes, yet you risked everything to save him.”

“That’s different. I know Bucky, he’s all I have left of my past. And he was brainwashed.” You weren’t. You acted, and you act by choice… don’t you? Steve panicked at the thought. Everything you did, you did with your heart… right? Everything that happened last night, was true…Right?

“So if she wasn’t brainwashed, she’s guilty?” A slight ironic smile tugged at Nat’s lips. “Even though she never asked to be born into a Hydra experiment, or to live in captivity. Is she at fault, Steve? For not trying hard enough to escape?”

Steve froze at her words, realizing what she was getting at. You weren’t brainwashed, no, much worse, you’d grown up knowing nothing of life outside Hydra. You weren’t just a victim. No. He thought of you. You were a survivor. A fighter.

“That sounded a bit protective.” Steve looked at his fellow Avenger, studying her expression. “Was it just a rescue mission, Nat? You don’t usually…attach to people.”

Letting out a laugh, Natasha returned to her usual mysterious, lazy smile. “I’ll let you find out for yourself.” 

She hesitated but finally spoke under Steve’s gaze: “She’s… different, Steve.”

A slight, warm smile crossed Black Widow’s face. 

“She’s kind…and good. I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s innocent. Her heart… it’s pure.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Nat’s words. He could hear the awe in her voice, and it made him think of you: The way you’d looked at him, the sparkle in your eyes. Tiny butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he remembered the way you’d laughed and how they took flight when he kissed you.

Without even realizing it, his voice became as tender as it could be: “Yes. She is all those things.”

“Like I said.” Natasha leaned back in her chair, her fingers returning to the keyboard. “I’ll let you find out for yourself.”

LAB 278—it had taken some time to find.

Steve silently thanked Jarvis for lighting the way as he stepped into your lab—your private, secluded lab, hidden almost a 20-minute walk from the central facilities. Steve hadn’t even known this place existed on campus.

He pushed open the door and saw you through the thick glass. He couldn’t help but marvel as he took in the entire space. Your lab looked like a greenhouse, with plants everywhere—on the desk, under the tables, on the floor, shelves, and windows. Long curtains of leaves hung down from the ceiling like rain falling through broken glass. 

Large screens dominated the room, and then Steve’s eyes widened at what he saw next. 

An armory. Their. Armory. 

A bow being analyzed by lasers, prototypes of metal gauntlets, shattered helmets, and torn suits.

And then, he saw you.

You were cleaning his shield.

Everything fell into silence when his gaze rested on you. The whole place became a quiet green ocean, so still that Steve could almost hear the plants breathing. And his own heartbeat. That stopped when you lifted the shield and gently kissed it.

“Do a good job,” he heard you whisper to it. “Protect him. Keep him safe.”

Steve snapped out of it as those words echoed in his mind. He had a hundred questions, but they vanished in that instant. He wasn’t even thinking—he was reacting—as he stepped forward and opened the door.

The look on your face when you heard the noise and turned around was indescribable. All the tension in your expression softened, and the light in your eyes brightened. 

Steve wondered, how he’d been so blind, so stupid, to believe some reports instead of trusting…you.

“Oh. Hi…” You smiled, joy sparkling in every corner of the room.

God, that smile. The happiness in your eyes at seeing him weakened his knees. He spoke, his voice softer than he’d expected. 

“Hey...”

You almost run to him under instinc. Wanting to move closer, to take his hands, but…you weren’t sure. Was it too much? Too fast? What are you (or this) supposed to be? Are you even dating? Will he hate it? So, you blushed and stood still. “I…I um… I’m so glad you’re here.”

Steve noticed the way you flinched, the way you wanted to reach out but held yourself back. It made him feel…sad, like something was cracking in his chest. He wanted to reach out and take your hand. But he didn’t—not yet. 

Instead, he stepped closer, his voice gentle as he smiled. “…And I’m very glad to be here.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure if it was the lack of sleep or if you were just lost in his eyes, but your mind was racing, and you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting out something dumb, like really dumb.

“I missed you.”

Oh, what the hell. You wanted to bite your tongue. Especially when you saw Steve freeze. Okay, that was stupid as fuck, you thought, looking down, unsure of what to say next.

“I’ll take it back, I’m sorry, that was stu—” But before you could finish, you were pulled into a tight embrace.

Steve pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you in a tight, protective hold. As if he wanted you to melt within him.

He realized how absurd he had been for holding this back, how deeply he craved you. Like a primal longing, like a dying plant thirsting for a drop of dew, or desperate for air.

“Please…don’t be.” He whispered, pressing your head to his shoulder, inhaling the scent of your hair, his eyes closed as he sighed. “I missed you too.”

“Oh.” You awkwardly ran your hands along his back, fumbling at first, before simply giving in and hugging him tighter. You caressed his neck until he rested his forehead against yours, exhaling deeply.

And you smiled. 

“So…you did find out, huh?”

He stood silently, with his chin in your shoulder. And after a while he said in a bitter tone: “How’d you know?”

“‘Cause you look exactly like Tony and Natasha did when they found out. And… because you’re in my lab. I mean, I don’t think this place is a hot spot, huh?” You laughed and broke the hug slightly, but he tightened his grip on your waist, unwilling to let you pull away. 

You caressed his face, inhaling the warmth of his breath, and looked into his eyes. 

"Steve, what happened to me isn’t a burden for you to carry, you know that, right?”

Steve froze. 

Isn’t it? 

Wasn’t it because he hadn’t destroyed Hydra when he had the chance?

Because they didn’t find out sooner?

Because… he wasn’t there?

You struggled to read people, especially someone you cared about, so when you saw the pale, stiff look on his face, you paralyzed.

Was that why he came? To tell you it was over? Well…to be honest, you wouldn’t blame him. After all… you were you, and he was… Steve Rogers. And you were…Hydra’s Frankenstein.

That thought must have shown on your face, because Steve noticed the change in your expression—fear and shame, like you were some kind of Quasimodo who had his mask ripped off.

The mere thought made Steve’s blood boil—the idea that he might reject you because of your past, as if you were to blame for things you couldn’t control. As you were…sinful and…bad.

He suddenly cupped your face and spoke firmly, the words echoing from his heart, the same words he should have said the moment Natasha told him the truth.

“Hey, hey… look at me. Look at me.” He stared straight into your eyes. "Don’t doubt me. Don’t doubt… us.” His voice was filled with protectiveness and anger. “I’m here, and I…” I’m falling for you.

“Do you regret it?” Your voice trembled. “Last night… do you regret… meeting me?”

“No.” His voice was steady and resilient, unwavering and unshakable: “Not in a million lifetimes.”

You held your breath for a moment, trying not to cry. Then spoke as you were telling a secret. 

“I always wondered…What would I have been like if I were… normal? If I had normal parents—a father working in a bank, a mom as a teacher. I’d go to school, go to prom, fall in love… have friends… but…” 

You pressed your fingers into his hand and smiled softly.

“… I wouldn’t change anything about my past, if that was the road I had to take, that leaded me…to finally meet you.”

Steve felt like he could’ve started crying at any moment. 

Your past had left a crack in his heart, something he could never fix, something that would always hurt. And yet, you said it was all worth it? All the suffering, all the pain… just to meet him? How could he… how could he deserve you? He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t even breathe.

“God…” he murmured, his voice filled with pain. “How can you say that… how can you still be so…” 

Kind. Good. Pure.

Natasha was damn right. You were everything she said, and more.

“Hmmm… Maybe…” You thought out loud. "Maybe I always knew I’d meet you someday, and I had to be good enough… to be… worthy.”

Steve exhaled, trying to calm the storm in his heart and mind. 

The weight of your words hit him hard. He paused for a moment before he pulled you against him, his arms wrapping around you tightly, as if that could protect you from all the misfortune or pain that might come in the years ahead.

“Damn it…”

His voice broke as he whispered.

“I can’t believe I found you…”

“Well then,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. 

“Thank you for finding me.”

Time stilled for a moment, but before he could think, Steve’s body had already reacted, he pinned you against the workbench as his hand weaved through your hair, and his lips pressed yours in a deep kiss. 

He couldn’t hold back anymore, he needed you, wanted you, to hold you as close as possible, without letting you go ever again.

All the composure he had been trying to maintain disappeared the moment he felt you. 

Your lips, your tongue, your scent… Any sense of reason was hanging by a thread. 

He lifted you onto the desk, sending pens and books scattering to the floor, but he didn’t give a damn. Not when your legs wrapped around his hips and you moaned his name as his hand tightened around your waist.

“Jesus…”

The way your voice sounded, the way you were looking at him, the way you were sitting with your legs around him, everything was driving him desperately crazy, struggling to keep control to not to tear your clothes off and make you his right there. 

He broke the kiss before doing something reckless, but his body was tense, and his breathing panting. 

“You’re driving me crazy…” He breathes heavily, leaving a deep kiss in your forehead.

“What?” Your mind was still spinning from his kiss, and you replied without thinking: “Well yeah, welcome to the club.” 

Steve left out a laugh, All the intense revelations from earlier had nearly made him forget just how incredible your comebacks were. 

He looks down and kisses you again, this time with more tenderness than passion, and he speaks as he continues. 

“I’ve been thinking about this since I left you this morning…”

“Can you…” You could barely form a word without moaning: “Can you think…of taking this further?”

“…” 

That made him stopped. 

The suggestion sent a shiver down his spine. Oh you and your amazing comebacks. His mind suddenly flashed, imagining all the things he’d wanted to do to you, maybe in his room, in the bed, with you under him, moaning his name as you just did, only louder and louder…

Steve quickly shook the thought from his mind, trying to force himself back to reality. 

“God… please don’t tempt me.” He could feel his body reacting to his own imagination, so he pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists, trying to regain some control.

“I…” You wanted to say, "I don’t mind," or even, 'I don’t give a damn if you take me right now...You know what, there’s actually a bed at the back of this lab.' But then his phone rang.

“What the hell…” He glanced at the caller ID and groaned, “For gods sake, what timing…” One hand reached for the phone while the other held you firmly. “I’m sorry, babe, give me a sec.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of him calling you that for the first time, but before you could process it, Tony Stark’s voice echoed through the empty lab.

“I don’t know what you are doing there, Cap…And trust me, I don’t wanna know…but Jarvis just sent me a reminder, to remind you, that there are cameras everywhere in the working campus. Everywhere.” 

You could tell there was a humorous tone in Iron man’s voice.

“Even in remotely located labs for top secret employees.”

End but TBC-

Continue to:

3: Reverie |

4: Nightmare |

5: Awakening |

6: Dusk |

7: Hypnagogia |

8: Lull |

9: Vigil |

10: Eclipse |

Alright, thanks for reading up to here. Hope you enjoyed it!! <3

So when I started writing Part 1, I was like, 'Oh, let's just write cute one-shots and short stuff.' And here I am with a complex OC and a struggling Steve. I'm so sorry for that :3 I just can't help myself!

Part 3 comes with 'the one night I made you mine and made you beg' thing I was hoping I'd finally get to. I promise! (Still have no idea how I'm writing that through my working shifts, tho.)

Okay, have a good one <3 Lmk if you liked it ? Report and everything is highly appreciated <3 :D

Love.,

Moon.

[socksenjoyer]

ok haha life series au idea time let's go bc i need to get this off my chest. I love being cringe 💞🌸✨

SO victorian/maybe georgian era life series AU. Supernatural shit is common but shunned from everyday life. Grian is the son of a rich family who vanished in.... mysterious. circumstances. So now he has the entire gigantic house to himself. His friends -- the life series members -- are mostly supernatural entities but Grian himself seems (mostly) human. They often visit him and vice versa, everything seems nice.

He's even visited his mysterious shut-in neighbour, who is a vampire trying to hide it VERY badly. Mumbo's only companion for the last few years has been his robot, Grumbot. Mumbo struggles to communicate with anyone because he's exceedingly anxious and incredibly ominous, but Grian has decided he WILL be friends with this strange man, so they are friends. Grian introduces him to the wonderful possibility of just asking for (animal) blood, instead of stealing it like a fricking chupacabras. Grumbot goes to live at Grian's house, because at this point Mumbo is just living with Grian. It's good. Everything's good.

Then, Grian barricades himself in his room, completely covering the window and absorbing himself in some kind of work. He refuses for any lights to be turned on in his vicinity (too bright) and instructs Mumbo to post a number of letters, one to each of the life series members. Each member tells the member that they need urgently to go to Grian's house NOW. Mumbo posts these letters, along with his own postscript explaining that Grian is obviously very sick, everyone starts to make their way there.

People start to arrive (scary!!) and chaos ensues as both the area Grian wants to be kept dark and the number of people increases. Since Mumbo can see fairly well in the dark, he's the only one who can get down the hallway to communicate with Grian. A few people become suspicious, as they don't know Mumbo (only Scar really knows him and impulse and skizz have at least met him) and he could easily be lying about what Grian's saying. One person, Gem, is exceedingly suspicious. She does NOT like Mumbo's general vibe (hmmm gem i wonder why gem) (ok in all seriousness she used to be a monster hunter, particularly a vampire hunter. She doesn't tell anyone this, but her old prejudices kinda start to show through). Everyone arrives but Pearl and Lizzie because Pearl is literally countries away and Lizzie is doing secret things...

One night, Grian tells Mumbo something, and tells him strictly not to tell anyone else. Turns out Grian is not Grian! He is in fact an eldritch horror that has been inhabiting Grian's body for the past *checks notes* fifteen years! This doesn't really change anything between them, since Mumbo and most of the lifers have never known the 'real' Grian, and it also doesn't answer any of anyone's burning questions, such as:

-why are we in this house

-what's the deal with the eyes? there's so many eyes, spinning and turning, always seeming to stare in one direction, maybe at me. i see them when i close my eyes now they're so bright i cannot think i cannot breathe all i can do is stare like a deer in headlights oh god oh god

-how do i know what a deer in headlights is? And why does Ren keep calling people 'dude'?

-What's up with Grian?

We don't out people in this house, so Mumbo doesn't tell anyone.

Only a day later, when everyone's asleep (apart from Mumbo insomnia gang💯🔥💯🔥 also he craves human flesh or whatever)(by extension Gem is also awake because hmm suspicious......) humongous hands appear, unable to be destroyed or escaped, taking people out of their beds and seemingly into the floorboards. It seems Grian is controlling them, but he can't be reached and didn't seem aware of what he's doing. It's only when Scar says something very quiet into Grian's ear that they both get dragged down No Childrenstyle and the hands stop. The only people remaining are Gem and Mumbo, thoroughly shaken up by the whole experience.

The goal then becomes to get along long enough to figure out what's going on and save everyone. First thing they do is send letters to Pearl and Lizzie, letting them know what's happening and maybe to hurry. They also send letters to Cub (knows stuff about magic) and Doc (knows stuff about interdimensional shenanigans) in the hopes they can help. Cub is very busy and says he might not be able to make it for a while but everyone else gets their ass in gear to come help.

Gym & mambo become tentative friends. They start to try and decipher Grian's notes, which appear to have been written in a completely unknown language. While they do this, something begins to happen around the outside of the house. Stone statues begin to appear, in a clockwise manner, completely buried apart from their arms, which poke out of the surface. Their first thought is to dig the statues up to see the rest of them, and doing this prompts the worst headaches and hallucinations (so many eyes and blinding lights blinding me blinding me in glory) either of them have ever felt. So we will not dig them up. They work out that the hands may well belong to the other lifers, since there's space for 14 people. Unbeknownst to mumbert and germ, the hands are also appearing in order of player deaths.

At about the same time Scott's statue appears, about a week after the disappearances, Mumbo mentions that Grian revealed something about himself near the end (the eldritch horror stuff). Gem is convinced this could be important and a little pissed that Mumbo is withholding crucial information. He refuses to tell her because it's not his secret to tell, and he doesn't think it would help them anyway. This entire argument devolves into Gem drawing her sword (which is so heavily consecrated that Mumbo physically recoils at being in the same room as the bare blade) and maybe accusing Mumbo of projecting his own fear of discovery onto Grian (Worth mentioning that Mumbo hasn't told her that he's a vampire but the fact he has to step away from the sword as if it were blasting the full concentrated power of the sun was kinda the last straw in figuring it out). Mumbo also gets incredibly pissed and asks why she even has that sword because the average person isn't carrying that shit around. So Gem admits she used to hunt vampires. Everyone gets to be furious until they sit down and have a nice talk HAHA ONLY JOKING THEY STEW ABOUT THIS SILENTLY AND ARE ONLY GETTING ALONG BECAUSE THE CIRCUMSTANCES DEMAND IT!! THEY ARE SILENTLY PISSED AT EACH OTHER FOR FUCKING CHAPTERS BABY.

Around the time Impulse's hands show up, Lizzie arrives. She is absolutely fucking going through it. She confirms that the hands of Joel are his because she recognises his ring. After the 'sorry your husband got buried and turned into a statue' talk she begins to help shed light on the language Grian has been writing in (it's standard galactic but with the added fun little twist that it is not encoding something in english but a whole new language only spoken by.....watchers!!! muahaha).

Bdubs' hands show up. Everyone is tense and upset and sleep deprived, and they've hit a wall. Lizzie can tell some shit has gone on between Morbius and Gort and suggests they maybe...talk to each other about it? They're both about to admit that they don't want to stay mad at each other but WAIT all of a sudden hold on. There's hands outside. That's Scar and Grian's hands and they're POETICALLY TANGLED TOGETHER, NO CHILDRENSTYLE? They both rush outside because that means everyone's here, so what now? Mumbo puts his hand on top of theirs and before Gem can warn him he is grabbed and pulled into the ground. Panicked, Gem goes to find Lizzie who is also nowhere to be seen, and in a dramatic final girl moment she fucking figures it all out OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE AND THEN GEM ALSO IS TAKEN BY THE HANDS ANNNNND SCENE

Doc arrives at the house finding it completely empty, apart from Grumbot, who powered off a while ago because there was nobody left in the house. Doc powers Grumbot on to find answers, which is where we get a recount of the events from (Grumbot's been here.... the whole time!).

So yeah. I might end up writing this or comic-ing it or whatever. If anyone wants to use my idea w/credit please go ahead i would actually pledge my soul to you if you did that. Just you guys wait until you hear about the sleepover demon summoning au.

[kanmom51]

JK Stationhead Radio 3 October 2023

So nothing too interesting happened in this Stationhead. Well, not as much as we had in the previous two.

JK came a little later than planned, like 10 minutes late, tired after practicing.

He starts with this:

So that's the schedule he was being all sus about?

Sorry, but I'm still not buying it.

Well, in the sense that there is something else he was being all cheeky about, that is.

I wonder.

He answered a comment about his TikTok post and delete.

Plausible deniability. Said it once, will say it again!!

He wanted to copy the trend. So why do the opposite then? Doesn't care it's being posted everywhere? I'm thinking like he knew it would be even if he deleted...

JK was complaining he isn't sleeping well. Super tired. Definitely suffering from insomnia.

JK continuing the LOVE YOU motif from yesterday is trying to say it in different languages. He tries with papago. He tries this in several language, struggling. Like, a lot.

The whole time he's being so cute and adorable and then he wonders why he's called cute by army...

Lol.

After he's done, exhausted from his language lesson, lol, he starts reading comments again.

Interesting.

So the other content we know that's been filmed - where will be seeing that?

Ate chicken again: "at this point it's an addiction, haha".

Seriously, some fans need to learn about boundaries.

We have an approximate timeline for the live tomorrow (although JK being JK is not committing to that one hour, lol).

And they continue...

Ok, we did get some Jimin crumbs, lol.

He reads out a comment asking that the live today will be with Jimin.

And this?

He's so damn cute, lol.

Bammy!!!

likes short sleeves in summer and long in winter.

Boundaries lesson time.

and...

JK comments about the weird comments... again, boundaries being crossed:

Fucking seriously!!!

But still JK is his own flirty self.

I wish fans would understand that he isn't actually hitting on them.

I'm sure that's not what he tells JM's mom though!! Lol.

JK was asked about a solo tour - answered he'd like to.

And then we have this:

This episone:

And this one too, lol:

And that basically was when he said his goodbyes.

I'm sure I missed a few things, but as I mentioned, nothing of importance (I hope, lol)

So, not too much. A little of JK flirty, a lot of JK cute, some Jikook crumbs, and too much perv fans.

Now we count the hours to:

a. Golden pre-sale opening.

b. JK's live tonight.

[chibipandaao3]

Thoughts on Between Us as a former swimmer and lifeguard.

• I’ve mentioned before, but I’ll say it again because I find it comical and endearing, their form when diving or swimming. It’s very cute and not great. And I can’t blame the actors for that. I was taught how to dive off the blocks (into shallow water) when I was maybe 12 so I’ve had lots of practice - and even I’ve biffed it.

• I’ve seen some people say that Team’s brother (Ton?) and Team struggling/drowning is unrealistic - no. In fact, that’s one of the most REAL drowning scenarios I’ve seen in media. Even as a lifeguard - 6 yrs under my belt, trained, etc. - my boss always said “don’t try to save someone if you aren’t on the clock” Why? Because oftentimes the victim unintentionally drowns the savor…it’s super common sadly.

• Team’s cramp/swimming alone/drowning - they did a good job of this in the show (but from what I’ve read it’s more explained in Hemp Rope) but a real talented swimmer is not going to be in THAT much danger normally. Why? We aren’t afraid of drowning, so generally we wouldn’t panic and therefore would be fine. Roll onto our back, tread water with single leg and arms, reach for the Lane line, etc. OBVIOUSLY, 2 other things are at play here with Team. 1) he’s exhausted, in part because of his extra practicing but also his chronic insomnia (both of which are more highlighted in the book) and 2) he does have a fear of drowning. So I think his panic is pretty justified all and all. And, yeah, never swim alone but certainly NEVER DIVE alone. A great swimmer will likely be fine even in an emergency like Teams BUT if you hit your head diving…which I’ve seen happen…no, no swimming alone please and thank you.

• this one is a strange one, but Win’s jewelry. Now obviously this is a club AND since they discussed things like being the country rep (hinting at Olympics territory) it’s kinda a mute point but I find it funny. In the US (at least at the high school level) you can’t wear jewelry at all during meets 😂 like I got my nose pierced before season once and, oh boy, I had to take it out for every event and then run to the locker room to shove that thing back in…it was a thing…

• Win being able to get Team out - based on the trailer it’s seems safe to assume that Team doesn’t fully lose consciousness BUT it is so hard to pull a person from the water by yourself! Like it’s not fun at all.

Related but unrelated rambling; Rescue Breathing =/= CPR. Now things might have changed since I was last certified but damn 😂 no one seems to get this. CPR is if the heart stopped beating - you don’t want to go crack a rib on someone if it isn’t necessary. Most of these fics Win (or anyone) would not be doing CPR (unless they’d checked and found no pulse). 😆

Okay………that’s it for my rambles. I really should be working but I’m just dead so this is what I decided to do. If anyone actually read this 😆 have a wonderful day and I hope you’re looking forward to Sunday cause I am! Hoping to trick my bestie into watching all the episodes with me, but we gotta finish The Eclipse first haha.

[distortedclouds]

So, I've been wanting to say this for a while now xD (read: months and months).

You may (or may not) have wondered why someone (me lol) has been interacting with you so much on Tumblr all of a sudden, but there's a reason for it.

I've been a long time reader of all the work you've written, but you've never seen me in your AO3 comment section. I also never turned up in your dash here. It's been almost two years that I've been going through crippling depression and the usual other shitty things life throws at us for fun - and I had no energy or will to reopen any of my social media, nor login into my AO3 acc. I love nights but some were so dark and scary that I had severe bouts of insomnia. What did keep me sane however, was your writing. The first work I read was "I'm begging for you to take my hand" and I still remember how much comfort it brought me. Even your crack fics, you meant for them to be crack but I was restless to read them every night after awful days. More recently ofc, BW, ah god, I have so much to say, but that's for the comment section ofc.

In short, thank you so much for all your hard work and serious effort. For me when I look back on the last 1.5 years, I think of lots of unpleasant things but also, the good things and one of them is definitely your AO3 treasure trove. A light at the end of the tunnel for me. A warm blanket that tells me things will be okay. Always will be.

So thank you once again. Everything you've written (and continue to do so) brings me so much happiness and inspiration. Things are so much better for me these days and a big part of why I began to write again is because of you. I'm just waiting for my free time so I can spam you on AO3 haha xD So happy to see you on my dash too!

(ah none of this is sensitive or private info btw haha xD Feel free to post publicly. Everyone should know how beautiful your writing is!)

I've read this message like, half a dozen times already and I still don't know what so say. I know our time on Tumblr is relatively short, but it's always nice to see you on my dashboard, especially after reading your aruani fics and I'm honored to know that I inspired you to write

I'm sorry to hear about the hardships you were going through. Times like that feel like they could go on forever and that there's no light at the end of the tunnel. As much as I'd like to say "it be like that sometimes" I genuinely understand since both reading and writing fanfiction for the past 8ish years has been really healing for me, and I'm glad my work was of help for you. Especially with how feel about night, it can be the most devastating when something that we loved turns against us and becomes a place of fear and anxiety

On a more specific note, learning that "I'm begging for you to take my hand" meant so much to you is kind of making me reconsider and view it in a new light. It was my least favorite and everytime I'd get a Kudos on it and I'd internally scream 'nooooo not this one!! go to my other stuff!!' But yeah, it's already being elevated in my brains as I type this

I think in online fandoms we stress so much that fanfic is 100% self indulgent and that we write only for ourselves but choose to share with other. and while I wholly agree with that viewpoint, but I also think writing (which includes fanfic) is also meant to move others and elicit emotions in them, and I'm truly happy I could provide the same joy and comfort your fics provided for me

I look forward to reading your future works for as long as you're happy to create them and I'm honored to learn that you're anticipating more of mine <3

I promise I'll get around to updating BW soon!!

[flydotnet]

Good Deeds and Alas

WHUMPTOBER 2023, DAY 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?” Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

I think a lot about the HSAU character's pasts, especially that of the teachers'. I'm biased towards CT characters, because of course I am this stupid-ass manga occupies 25% of my brain at any given moment, and this is how this entry was born! Yee-fucking-haw.

I've been meaning to showcase a bit of Hikaru and Co.'s backstories, in part because it's my responsibility in the group, and also because I put so much of my own past into those of these characters that, sometimes, it's my nostalgia speaking haha.

In terms of the timeline of the HSAU, this is set around 5 years before the main story, when Hikaru and Yoshiko were themselves high school students. To be precise, they're in June of their last year of high school and preparing for national finals, aka, the Baccalauréat (aka Bac for my French homies).

I also can't write children, so you'll have to put up with that here, woops.

--------------------------------------------------

Good Deeds and Alas

Summary: So, maybe entrusting your studying-for-finals brother with your children wasn't a good idea for either of them. Or: Hikaru falls dead asleep in front of his own girlfriend and it's not going according to keikaku.

Fandom: Yes it's CT again, but it's the French high school AU!

Word Count: 2K words

AO3 version available here.

--------------------------------------------------

A shrill at the door jolts Hikaru awake. He didn’t even know he had fallen asleep, or at least started dozing off, so the wake-up call isn’t welcome. When did he even doze off? Dammit, that coffee wasn’t as effective as it should’ve been… Oh well. Whatever it is, it’s probably Kenta or the twins messing with him, which means they’re starved for attention yet again.

And to say he still can’t drill the formula to derivate a root-square function without looking it up. It’s like he isn’t getting anywhere with his exam studying yet the fateful day is looming closer and closer.

“I’m up, I’m up,” he mechanically says as he gets up from his chair, hoping he’s speaking loud enough to be heard.

The world isn’t supposed to tilt when you get to your feet, and it’s also not supposed to creep in blacks in the corners of your vision – but his formula should also be in his brain by now, so whatever.

When he walks back into the living room where he’s left all three kids, he finds them still doing what he was trying to get them to do before attempting to study: Kenta is reading over his book while the twins are staring at the TV, as if nothing had happened.

“Did any of you three ring the door?” He asks anyway, wondering in the back of his mind if he isn’t going insane.

You know, just in case not sleeping much for days on end was bad for your health.

“No, we didn’t, Uncle,” Kenta replies without as much as a second of hesitation.

His brothers follow with a shake of the head.

“Nu-uh, we stayed here too!”

“Then… Who is it?” He wonders out loud.

“Maybe it’s Mom?” Kenta asks.

“I don’t think so, she’s got a spare key…” Not that she would be available to go ding-dong-ditch on his ass. “Oh, whatever. I’m gonna go check, so don’t move, okay?”

As the sole (almost) adult here, he walks to the door of the house and opens it – only to gawk at who’s actually there.

“Good afternoon, Hikaru,” his very own girlfriend tells him.

“H-hi, Yoshiko,” he barely gets out, stunned for some reason. “What’s bringin’ you here?”

“I wanted to check up on you,” she replies without a smile (why?). “I know you’ve been neck-deep into your studies and…”

She scrutinizes his face, maybe, and freezes.

“What’s wrong?”

Then she looks horribly worried.

“You look absolutely exhausted, Hikaru,” she comments.

That’s no surprise.

“Oh, y’know, finals season! It looks worse than it really is.”

She doesn’t look convinced at all.

“I know, but you look like you don’t even rest…” She cups his face, loving gaze digging into his for answers. “How many hours of sleep do you get at night?”

“Honestly?” He tries to chuckle, but it sounds like the auditory equivalent of a flaccid pancake. “I haven’t slept in days. But like, who’s counting?”

Her expression worsens even deeper and now, now it actually aches like a bitch. Goddammit Hikaru, you’ve scared her. Congratulations, you fucking idiot!

“Can I come in?”

“Oh, uh, sure. Make yourself a home, I guess.” Then he remembers. “Wait, have you seen my nephews before?”

She stares back in shock.

“Your nephews?”

She doesn’t wait for his answer to step inside, even if she thinks of closing the door behind her as she does so.

“Yeah, my nephews. I’ve never told you about them?”

“No, you have, it’s just… I didn’t know you were babysitting them. Is that why you’re not resting?”

“Uh… I’m just giving my parents a hand. Right now, they’re at the supermarket for the groceries,” his vision keeps dimming, “and you know it, it’s easier to do grocery shopping without… three kids in tow…”

Keeping his eyes open is starting to become really difficult. But he can’t fall asleep in front of Yoshiko, of all people, so he wishes them back open. Dammit, he will not ridicule himself in front of his nephews nor his girlfriend!

“Maybe you should ask them to let you rest,” she quietly says. “Let them handle it. Please, you look so…”

“I-it’s fine.” He moves aside to let her come in, closes the door behind him. “I should probably… introduce you to them, though.”

Everything is floaty, as if he was underwater.

“Hikaru, I think you should sit down. You’re swaying on your feet…”

Both of their voices sound distant. That’s not good… he supposes. Truth be told, sleeping sounds amazing right now.

“I am? Damn.”

He trips on thin air and, as she catches him, the darkness finishes consuming his vision.

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For all she expected coming here, Hikaru dropping dead in her arms wasn’t one of those. Alas, it doesn’t come off as much as a surprise, now that the initial shock has passed, there are numerous little things around that tip her off that this was, unfortunately, unavoidable: the strewn around papers on his desk, the messy kitchen with wrappers spitting from the bin, the cans of energy drink in the bedroom’s trashcan that don’t seem like Hikaru’s usual self. Where’s his concern for his physical condition?

Fortunately, it “only” seems to be exhaustion: his temperature registers as normal and, now that he’s lightly snoring, she realizes he just has a good night of catching up to do. It’s still… concerning, though. Hikaru has never had trouble falling asleep before, at least, not that you’d know of, none that Kazumasa has ever spoken about.

A knock on the door is followed by timid footsteps – it’s a boy, around eight years old. She watches him shyly walk to the bed, standing right by the chair she’s sitting on. Because of the situation being as chaotic as it was, she hasn’t had the time to lie a good eye on him, she can see a bit of her boyfriend in him: their eyes are the same.

Yoshiko has never seen much of Hikaru’s family. He doesn’t invite her over often, and when he does, his parents aren’t impeding on them much. She’s never seen his sister, not even on pictures, and has never asked any further than that. It’s none of her business.

“Who are you?” The boy asks her.

“I’m, uh…”

She didn’t even think for a single moment she’d be a complete stranger to these children. Has he wondered all this time who she was?

“I’m Hikaru’s girlfriend,” she decides to plainly reply.

Immediately, his eyes start sparkling.

“Oh, you’re Uncle ’karu’s wife! That’s so cool!”

Her face immediately burns.

“O-oh, we’re not married!” She calms herself with a good breath. “I was visiting him because I haven’t seen him in a while. Do you know what happened?”

His mood immediately dips down and it aches.

“No… He’s just sleeping?”

“Yes, he’s sleeping, he isn’t sick.”

Immediately, the boy turns to the occupant in the bed and starts slapping him.

“Uncle ‘’karu, wake up! Your girlfriend’s here!”

Without thinking, Yoshiko grabs him, alert.

“Don’t wake him up, he needs to rest!”

“B-but… Mom said he was watching us, but he never does!”

Still, when she puts him back to the ground, he doesn’t try again.

“What’s your name?” She asks him.

“I’m Kenta”

“And your brothers?”

If she remembers correctly, Hikaru told her he had three nephews, one older and twin boys.

“They’re Riku and Ten. They like to whine.”

As most young children does, as far as she knows.

“And you’re saying your mom told Hikaru to watch over the three of you?”

Kenta looks suddenly a lot more bashful, “well, uh… Actually, Mom said it was Grandpa and Grandma, but when they’re busy, it’s Uncle ’karu who takes care of us.” He sighs and glances at him, worried. “But Uncle ’karu is always so tired. He yawns all the time, but he doesn’t sleep. I dun get it.”

The way Kenta phrases it, despite his confusion, is deeply concerning to her. Would that mean Hikaru has insomnia? Or is he forcing himself to stay up to study for the exams next week? He’s always been of the sleep-late-rise-early kind, not unlike her own father, but this sounds foreign from him anyway. What’s happening? How bad is he actually doing?

“He doesn’t sleep?”

“I don’t think he does. Whenever I go pee in the night, his light is always on.”

So he’s been studying late into the night. That’d explain a lot.

“Mom doesn’t like it when I tell her Uncle ’karu’s too tired for us. She tells me I’m wrong, that it’s his duty or something. But I don’t believe it.”

Hikaru hasn’t complained a lot about his family but having his nephews “dumped” on him was one of those. She can’t imagine having to study as much as he does and having to keep an eye on three children whenever his parents are busy… and what she has in front of her face, it’s not a convincing argument of the opposite.

“Can your brothers and you watch over yourselves while he takes a nap?”

It’s perhaps a lot to ask for children their ages.

“Yeah. We’ll be calm.” He sighs again. “I like Uncle ’karu, but I don’t think he likes us.”

“I’m sure he loves you and your brothers, he’s just very tired.” It feels awful to tell this to a child. “Truth be told, at our age, it’s hard to take care of younger people than us, and right now, we’re both busy with school. It’s not that your uncle hates you, I assure you.”

“I hope.” He glances around. “I’m gonna tell my brothers. Thank you, uh… Yoshino?”

“Close enough,” she smiles, “it’s Yoshiko.”

“Thanks, Auntie Yoshiko!”

Her cheeks burn once more as she watches him out of the room.

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The first thought that comes across Hikaru’s mind as soon as his eyes can pry themselves open is what the fuck am I doing in bed?

Then he realizes this is a very stupid question and tries getting up. Whatever this is – he shouldn’t be here. His square-root formula isn’t going to learn itse—

“You should stay in bed,” Yoshiko tells him right as his head starts swimming.

His reflexes must be dulled to hell and back, for him to barely react at all to this.

“Yo… Yoshiko…? What’re you doin’ here…?”

How long has she been here for?

“Oh, you probably don’t remember… I wanted to pay you a visit because we’ve not seen each other since class has ended and I was… worried for you.” Her face is so sad. “I was right to, I think.”

“I fell asleep on you, then, huh.”

“You did, yes. That’s why I want you to rest.”

“You’ve seen them, though, no? I need to keep an eye on my nephews. And, y’know, my exams…”

She brushes his hair, watching his eyelids flutter again.

“I’ll talk to your parents for you. Maybe… Maybe some fresher eyes will help them see the issue. You shouldn’t be balancing all of this on your shoulders alone. Not when you’re supposed to study on the side as well. But for now, just think about resting, okay?”

“You’d actually confront my family about this…?” A smile perks up on his lips. “You’re amazing…”

“Don’t worry about it for now. It’s normal someone finally gives you a hand.”

The sound of something falling downstairs alerts him immediately; yet before he can fully get up, Yoshiko grounds him back down into his bed.

“Hikaru!!”

“I’ll go check it out, so please stay here!”

His eyelids are getting really heavy, so he nods along.

“Works for me…”

He doesn’t stay awake enough to watch her leave – and it’s good enough for him.

[marchiveeee]

I REALLY liked what you write to my request thank you😭😭😭 Idk if it's because of the hour is late but now I'm curious about how would hsl boys act if they knew they are Candy's first boyfriend and in episode 40, that was her first time- Cause it was my first time, he was my first bf too💀💓😭 Not complaining tho- You said you are busy but when you have time, I wanna know your headcanon about this❤

Heyy! Thank you, it means a lot to me to know you liked it, I had a lot of fun writing that one request 🥺💕

Thanks for requesting again! And since this time is more of a headcanon, which is faster to write, and my insomnia is hitting again, why not?

(before starting, just be aware that it's 5:30am, I didn't sleep at all and I have to stay awake at all costs now bc I'm going to work in some hours, so haha yeah..... Idk how I'll be able to handle it today, but anyways)

Being her first boyfriend

Tbh, I believe it was pretty clear for them by how Candy reacted with the whole "I don't know what to do, what do we do now?" conversation they had after the 1st kiss. And especially for Kentin, he'd known her for a long time so I'm pretty sure he knew she hadn't had a boyfriend before.

(But OFC they all have to be HONOURED to be her 1st boyfriend because our Candies are all royalty ✨ - and y'all reading this are too so don't expect less than royal treatment from your partners, especially if you hadn't had your 1st time. You're special and you should be treated like so!)

Being her first time

Well, for this one I guess it'd be a bit different because It's something definitely more intimate, so...

Armin: we all know he's very chill, and something I love about him is that no matter what he always tries to make the atmosphere lighter and that would be his main goal after knowing he's Candy's 1st time. Of course he wouldn't make it cracking silly jokes, he'd lightly play around with her just to show her in his own way that she's safe with him and that she has nothing to worry about.

Castiel: well Cas is also very chill, he wouldn't be very nervous himself about it because it wouldn't be his 1st time with someone. But I do think he would still be a bit nervous since he wanted their first time together to be as good as possible, and even more after he told Candy he and Debrah had already gone through this before. He knew Candy felt a bit insecure about this at the time, so the last thing he wanted was for her to feel less special than she really was.

Kentin: I'm so sorry for being so blunt, y'all....... but if Kentin was as nervous as I imagine, I wonder how he managed to actually keep it up 💀💀 but I guess the excitement to be with the girl of his dreams and his passion for Candy helped him with that one.

Lysander: I think he would be cool on the outside trying to be all "it's okay. You don't have to worry about that, my love," but his brain would be pretty much melting trying to process the information that he would have to make it 110% more romantic than he had planned.

Nathaniel: my crackhead and sleep-deprived mind literally just imagined him going to his sister to ask for advice, as if amber weren't who she was in HSL... But I do believe Nath would react just like Lys, but not because his number 1 goal was to make it as romantic as possible, but because he was nervous he would make a huge mistake, that he could hurt Candy in some way... He'd be really worried about that :(

[waywardmoeyy]

4am Food Coma

Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 1,784

Warnings: insomnia, just some familial fluff. 

A/N: This is as much of a feel-good story as I can write late at night. Haha. I hope you all like it! 

My Master List

You sighed as you stared at the drab bunker ceiling. Your body was practically aching from exhaustion, but you mind was racing. Random, deep-rooted memories flashed through you, some causing your heart to pound with regret. This lifestyle had really been taking a toll on you lately, and you knew it was only going to get worse.

You pulled the scratchy, plaid blanket up to your chin and sighed. You could go back to your room, but Dean was snoring to heavily on the other side of the wall. You typically fell asleep before him, but tonight, you just couldn’t get your mind to shut off.

Grabbing your phone beside you, you unlocked the screen and checked the time. 3:34am.

“Well, shit,” you muttered to yourself with another sigh. There was no way you were going to get any sleep at this point. You had promised Sam that, in the morning, you would go with him to some outdoor clothing store a few towns over, and he was always up at the ass crack of dawn. So, that meant you probably only had an hour or so of time to get any sort of shut eye.

The tip-tap of heavy feet approached you from behind the couch. You turned toward the noise, sitting up a little to peer over the back of the couch. In the scarce light, you found your oldest brother approaching you.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing up, sweetheart?” Dean asked, shooting you a concerned look. You sighed and leaned back onto your makeshift pillow.  

“My mind has decided that now is a great time to replay every horrible thing that’s happened in every hunt I can remember. It’s making me nuts. You know me, I’m the one who is always saying that what’s in the past can’t be changed, just let it go. I’m not usually one to dwell, but here I am.” You watched Dean as he plopped down on the edge of the couch, lightly leaning against your feet.

“Sounds like a helluva nightmare, Y/N. Anything I can do to help?” That was a great question, and usually the one you were asking your brothers. You pursed your lips, then gently shook your head.

“I dunno. I think I just need some sort of distraction. I’ve tried watching TV, but my mind just drifts off into another world.” You rolled your eyes. “And I promised Sam I’d go to that store he loves. He wants to leave early. I’m going to be a zombie.”

Dean chuckled as he watched you, probably laughing at the dark rings that were undoubtedly plaguing your eyes. He patted your ankles and smiled.

“I have an idea. Grab a sweatshirt and meet me at the car.” You furrowed your brow as you watched him launch to his feet.

“Wha-wait. What? No. I’m not going out like this. Dean, it’s almost four in the morning! Where are we going?” You slid out from under your blanket. You were clad in baggy pajama pants covered in cat silhouettes, and a tank top that absolutely did not match. Not to mention the quarter sized hole under your right armpit.

“Relax, Bitz, no one’s going to care where were going. Just grab a sweatshirt and some shoes. You have five minutes.” You rolled your eyes at your big brother. He was always up to some sort of shenanigans. But, the two of you were a lot alike, so you usually trusted his crazy schemes.

“Fine, but I’m not going to say I’m excited until I know where we’re going.”

“Calm down, Bitz. You’ll like it.” Bitz, short for Itsy Bitsy, was the nickname Dean gave you when you were too young to talk. Since you were the youngest, and quite obviously the smallest, he thought it was funny. But over three decades later, he still called you by that nickname more than he ever used your real one.

One more unsure sigh left your lungs before you turned towards your room, in search of a jacket.

“I remember there was a place just like this in Omaha. We always stopped when we drove through. I totally forgot this place was here.” You peered down at the menu of the dodgy diner. Dean sat across from you, studying the same menu.

The two of you sat in the corner of the small eatery, only joined by an older man at the bar, obviously a trucker, and a homeless man drifting off on the other side of the building, still half-clutching a cup of coffee.

Dean smiled and nodded, peering up from his menu. “Yeah, it hasn’t changed a bit. It’s like they are all exactly the same. Still better than Biggerson’s, though.” You laughed.

“Yeah, definitely. Their milkshakes are the best! I’m hoping they still are.”

Dean grinned. “Well, let’s find out. I’m not going to eat a big meal then go back to sleep. But, I’ll never deny an Oreo milkshake.” Dean slammed his menu shut and nodded. “What’s your poison? No, wait, lemme guess. Mint chocolate chip?”

Your eyes lit up. You hadn’t had a mint chocolate chip milkshake in years. Most places in the middle of nowhere didn’t have that flavor. Vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry, you cold almost hear a waiter say in their ‘I don’t want to freaking be here’ tone. But this small chain in the center of the country had them, and they were heavenly.

“It’s like you know me or something!” you teased him, before closing your own menu.

Dean chuckled as he eyed the server as they approached your table. “It’s like we’re related.” He winked, before turning to the exhausted young man. He couldn’t have been older that twenty.

“What can I get you?” he droned, his eyes half open. You glanced over at your brother, then back to the young man.

“A mint chocolate chip milkshake please,” you beamed. You smiled, realizing that you were already starting to feel better. You watched as Dean ordered, feeling like you didn’t have a care in the world for the first time in a while.

You all had been hunting for months without any sort of real break. No wonder your mind was on the verge of exploding. You definitely needed to have more breaks and distractions to counterbalance the violent, crazy crap you dealt with day in and day out. But, your brothers were work horses, so that always proved a little difficult.

“Hey, do you think drinking a giant, sugary milkshake is going to be the solution to get me to sleep?” you realized, leaning back in your heavily cracked booth.

Dean shrugged. “Sugar actually helps in a weird way. You eat or drink a bunch of it, fill yourself with sugar, then crash and sleep. Or, the shear amount of food will put you in some type of food-induced coma.” You nodded slowly. It did make sense, weirdly enough.

“Do you think that’s the healthiest thing to do?”

“No, Bitz. But it doesn’t hurt every once in a while. It’s healthier than pulling an all-nighter, then running all around town the next day.” That was true. Plus, there was no way you were going to say no to sugar, whether it was just before sunrise, or sunset. You hadn’t hopped onto Sam’s kale salad bandwagon quite yet.

Within minutes, the server returned with your glorious milkshakes, and a full refill container. The moment your treat was placed down in front of you, you smiled up at your brother in thanks.

The next twenty minutes were quiet, other than the ravenous slurps that came from your straws. Dean finished a few minutes before you, instantly leaning back in his seat.

“Holy shit, that hit the spot.” He smiled as he closed his eyes, instantly in a food coma. You giggled.

“How you didn’t get a single brain freeze baffles me,” you teased, scooting your cup a little closer. A thin line of red light beamed along the horizon, reminding you that you had basically pulled an all-nighter. But, you didn’t care nearly as much as you did before. A sense of peace had enveloped you, or maybe it was the beginning of your own food coma. Either way, you felt a heck of a lot better.

“Thanks, Dean,” you whispered, offering a frozen smile. Dean returned the gesture and nodded.

“Hey, it worked when we were kids. I was sure it was going to work now.” You furrowed your brow.

“What?”

“Yeah, when we came to one of these as kids, Dad would let us order milkshakes. I know you remember. But, what you probably don’t remember is that once you got back in the car, you were out like a light. I don’t even know if the sugar ever got a chance to get to you. I think it was just the comfort food or somethin’.” Dean laughed.

Now that you thought of it, you didn’t really remember the ride afterwards. You just remember waking up just after sunrise, either in the car or arriving home. And, well, that would explain why.

You closed your eyes for a minute, feeling the intense fullness in your stomach. Maybe you were skipping the sugar high yet again, and satiety was leading you straight to real exhaustion.

“Wow, you’re a lightweight,” Dean poked as he lifted from his seat, tossing some money onto the table. You huffed out a chuckle, a little too tired to come up with a witty comeback. “C’mon kid, let’s get you home. You’re going to need some sleep if Sam is going to drag you all over hell tomorrow—uh, today.”

You nodded as you slowly slid out from behind the table. Your brother was already five steps ahead of you, stomping his way towards the door. You slowly followed behind, smiling as you watched him toss a five-dollar bill onto the sleeping homeless man’s table. Then, he opened the door, and waited for you to exit with him.

The moment you settled into your seat, you leaned your head back, resting your head on the top of the back rest. Your eyes were heavy, and your body was practically deadweight. Dean peered over at you as the engine roared to life. He patted your shoulder before putting the car in gear and heading for home.

A long, shuddered sigh left you as you settled into your seat. It was going to be a good twenty minutes or so before you were home. But, your eyes weren’t going to stay open for that long. So, you closed them as you yawned. Within moments, sleep slowly enveloped you, and you weren’t going to fight.

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@beanie-beebo​

[delicatedandelion]

At first it hit me hard. For months I kept trying to keep to a routine and not let myself slip back. Until after winter break. I went back to my dorm. I felt that buzzing energy that is always in the air once the new year hits. I thought maybe I can try again to make friends in my dorm and to be more friendly and stuff. To go explore the city. To hangout more.

But.

I had no one to do those things. My roommate left after finding a place to rent. My other college acquaintance living in the same dorm said they’ll come back and then after me asking again they said they aren’t cause we still had classes online. I was all alone. I tried to chat when going outside for a smoke. I was shone away or ignored. So I kept to myself.

And then one day I woke up feeling sad. I tried to chat to my friends but none were available. No one there for me. My boyfriend said we’ll have a videocall to hangout and feel better. He once again left me for a hangout with his friends, remembering we had plans only after I texted him a couple of times. I wondered why things are that way and went to bed very early feeling sad and exhausted.

I woke up exhausted. Stayed in bed for another 2h and barely convincing myself to get up cause I felt I’ll end up peeing myself if I don’t. It was exhausting. Getting up. I thought it’s a phase, a burnout. It wasn’t. For months I could barely wake up and get out of bed. I didn’t feel like eating. I went back to sh. Sleep or no sleep. All alone in a dorm watching everyone go out with friends, couples cuddling, people hanging out or having dorm parties with their friends. I didn’t even bother with my classes anymore cause I was tired all the time.

I came back home after exams for summer. I thought I’ll get better cause I started to eat. I thought being home will help cause my room was my safe space. But it didn’t feel like a safe space. More insomnia. Eat and throw up. No energy. Nothing.

I’m back on not eating cause I just lost hunger and my appetite. I would see food I enjoy and when taking a bite instant loss of appetite or if I take a couple bites I throw them up afterwards when feeling safe. I wake up and stay in bed. A couple of days ago I managed 1.000 steps after an anxiety walk in circles in my room. I managed skincare one night, kept telling myself to do it to feel better. I didn’t feel better and the tears washed away most of what I put on my face anyways. I feel empty and void and nothingness. My friends don’t even bother to check on me and live their lives like I don’t even exists. My bff made plans with me a month ago, said she can’t come anymore and to reschedule; I told her to call/text when she wants to and can cause I am always available. It’s been a month and nothing but I kept seeing her out and now she went on holiday abroad, saying nothing. My boyfriend is all like “wow I’m so glad we don’t have any arguments anymore! Haha, and you aren’t being clingy either!”. My dad is happy we don’t have any arguments or other stuff either. I checked out of all these relationships. I just feel empty and void. I’m simply unbothered and unaffected by everything anymore. I just don’t care and my brain is too tired to bother with this, it’s too busy bullying me.

Last month one of my cousins came around and got me a shirt she didn’t want and commented on my weight -I was wearing mens sweats 2 sized too big and a hoodie 4sized too big- and wrinkled her nose saying ‘wow, getting chubby again? Haha, idk if that shirt will fit you, I’m so much smaller compared to you!’(mind you this woman is 14years older than me and has her own kids). I was surprised by how unbothered I was cause my first thought was “wow, is that all you have? My brain can do so much worse than that”. But a few days my brain lingered on it as a start on making me a complete empty shell.

In just a month all my emotions evaporated and left an empty shell of nothingness. The only good part is that I will lose every single pound I added(not much anyways) since getting back home. Ngl, by this point idc if I end up in the hospital because of my eating habits. At least then maybe they will care enough to at least glance at me and care 0.1%.

Depression isn’t fun. It’s not cute. It’s not romantic. Depression makes you so tired that you go 3weeks without washing your hair cause you simply have 0 energy to do it. Depression makes you cramp all the time cause your muscles are so unused. Depression makes you wear the same clothes without washing them for weeks because you have no energy to change and wash. Depression makes you unable to sleep sometimes for 48h because your brain doesn’t let you with all the overthinking and scenarios it creates. Depression makes you live in dust and not clean your room because it’s too exhausting and you just can’t no matter how much you try to convince yourself. Depression makes you want to talk only to have nothing to say because you are too exhausted and you know they will blame it all on you. Depression makes you harm yourself in various ways because it convinced you you deserve it. It makes you stay inside because you are either too tired to go anywhere or you are afraid because you don’t feel safe anywhere else.

It’s not glamorous. It tells you “Look around. All these people that say they care and love you? They shoo you away. They don’t care. They live their lives unbothered. And they will keep it that way even if you are not here anymore. They already act like you aren’t here anymore. So what stops you, cause it’s not me darling.”

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

liveblog: kingsglaive final fantasy xv

some absolute king put the movie to the internet archive - thank you. of course, i hope i'm watching the right thing haha.

regis honestly just so -chefs kiss-

it's crazy how long the wall around Insomnia was up

love when the niffs fuck up a royal gathering

young ravus! love it

ravus yelling for regis to help them :(

wow this flashback is different than the one in the anime

luna's clothes are different

but the acitons are te same

so not that different

getting some lotr the two towers vibes from this battle scene and i'm here fo it

and i LOVE this dude's invisible power nice

nyx's voice sounds so familiar!

nyx: i'm worth the wait

loving him already

but i'm liking seeing the way all these warriors are interacting with each other. can definitely tell they've spent plenty of time in each other's pockets

oh the cerberus!! i really liked that entrance

oh wait, no, what fun daemon is this?????

in love with the way nyx is using the warp

now i can ask the question: where the fuck are they? clearly not in insomnia, unless this is set during noctis' rest? but it can't be since this is 12 yrs after lunafreya became a prisoner...

hm, it'll get explained to me

nyx is nothing without the king. please remember that nyx

hm, yes, we love king regis

an envoy from niflheim????

oh it's ardyn!!!!!

god, yes, yes, yes, we love ardyn

oh he's delicious i loe his grandstanding

oh he mentioned noctis, that's a no-no

oh??? ardyn proposed noctis and lunafreya to get married??

oh this is so fucking great wow thank you ardyn

hm so this one insomnia soldier doesn't like nyx, how nice

oh shit night life in insomnia??

whatever the music is is banging

i missed his name but the dude makes sense

but where did these kingsglaive soldiers come from if they're outsiders?

i love a strategic meeting

especially because of how you can see regis actually tremble from weakness

also, gotta say, it's amazing that regis has the strength to support the wall and the kingsglaive

hm regis accepted the truce

hm

who the hell is clarus?? i know who he is, but more like where is he, so who is he in regis' little posse

commencing operation: infiltrate tenebrae

lunafreya looks GREAT

oh hello ravus

"whatt you believe does not concern me"

god, knowing what i know about ravus, it must've hurt him hearing his own sister call him a lap dog to the empire

they have cartoons????

going back a bit, wonder what was up with the van that crow saw. bit suspicious

mm what a sexy car

i fucking KNEW it was an audi

"what good will you be without the king's magic?"

oh that IS clarus okay

yo they really just came in and said "we'll take lunafreya thanks"

hm.. i have suspicious feelings about lunafreya

like maybe she's ardyn??

"my duty is my destiny, your majesty. i'm prepared to accept whatever my come to pass"

goddamn

oh so crow's defintiely dead

i keep missing his name, but this dude is so torn up over crow's death he ripped off the kingsglaive insignia

hm, so the dude is going rougue, and wow, that was overheard by three other glaives

eve of the signing ceremony...

doesn't that mean that noctis and co have left already, actually?

yes, it must, because regis wanted freya to meet noctis

so, yes, the freya in insomnia is absolutely... not ardyn

hm

crutch dude has now joined a rebel group - i just hope he did some vetting and isn't about to talk to niffs

who is that general in the armor?? hm, interesting

oof nyx with that round bubble butt

lunafreya is missing, how nice and convenient when the treaty signing is about the happen

regis ordered the kingsglaive to go save lunafreya, nice

god, one of regis's last acts as king :(

"for hearth" "and home"

that's actually a nice call and response

god, i'd love to be a legilimens so i could read regis' thoughts. he must know what this is probably gonna be his last day on eos

the hoods are very asassin's creed and i like that inspiration

hm what fun whisper was that to the niff ambassador

oh wait that dude is the niff emperor my bad

hm, yes, we love double talk

mm sexy kills yes

god, yes, the game's afoot!

octopus in teh airship? kinky

we love traitors

oh wow the crystal has been deactivated :(

honestly though, humungous props to niflheim for diong this. like this is a BRILLIANT politcal move, it really is

yes we fucking love regis and clarus fighting together!!

"then let us once more into the fray, old friend"

WE ARE HERE FOR THAT!!!

so sad the outcome though :(

ouch, clarus!!

"we have broken the wall. all that remains is the break the city"

100% correct emperor

nyx is so exasperated by lunafreya

yeah this dude in the vest - like he thought he was gonna somehow be great under niff rule??

oh hello there ravus

ravus put on the ring and, hm, he wasn't found worhty

nyx is fighting the super souped up general

and it JUST occured to me that the reason why nyx sparks when he uses magic is because it's not his

so this is how luna got the ring okay

we love parallels

regis's last stand :(

:'(

oh so the crutch dude didn't do any vetting at all because he only found out that the other refugees were working with niflheim

slacking bro

but, now yo can do what you want and bring refugees into the city

idk why any one would that that niff would keep its word, but that's besides the point

hm, no airbags?

"true power is not something that is found by those who seek it. it is something that is found by those who deserve it."

crutch dude being called 'hero' = irony

haha this traitor put the ring on, idiot.

though lunafreya baited him a bit but i support that

wow this ring got passed around like a hot potato

I WANT TO KNOW THE CONVERSATINO IGNIS HAD WITH THE LUCII KINGS!!!!!!!

nyx has been found wothy - until dawn

crutch dude's name is libertus

libertus threw away the pills, good job!

oh ehll yea the statues are moving!! i iked seeing that in thhe game

caught way caught up in watching the movvie

i absolutely loved the fighting. all the moving parts were done amazingly well and the effects and graphics were stunning

honestly a great fight. truly enjoyed that.

though, both libertus and luna know what nys is definitely come with morning's light, it's nice of them to be optimistic

luna doesn't fit in with the other people but separate paths yes

okay nyx was aaron paul, regis was sean bean

i knew nyx's voice was familiar

what a good movie! i really enjoyed that

love that it helps flesh out what happened prior to signing day, and also showed us how good the kingsglaives are in combat

i liked that everything was so tense and there weren't too many motivations for why people turned traitor or fighting - everything came down to fighting for home (minus niff as a whole but that's an empire so given)

also, liked seeing how the ring got passed around,and seeing ravus try it on, though it was told to us in game he had

overall, good! the backstory provided was great and really does help develop the game more

[awkwxrdapple]

Sometimes - Javier Peña x Reader

“Sometimes, just sometimes, well alright maybe all of the time.” - Sometimes by Gerry Cinnamon (x)

Word Count: 2.5k 

Warnings: mentions of injury

A/N: What you have to know is that I am a sucker for “there was only one bed” style tropes. It’s just fluff and sleep related angst. With no back story, it just is what it is. This came to me while I was in the middle of my chem midterm so enjoy :) I’ve set it up for a second part I think, so we will see how it goes haha.

“Forgive me for asking, but are you ok?”

Javi exhaled smoke slowly. You weren’t expecting an honest answer, or any answer at all. You just had to ask. Watching him sit, slumped, on your sofa was worrying. The man looked exhausted. You were used to having him lounge lazily on your couch whenever he came round, but this time it was different. Before, he still had an air of confidence around him, whereas now he looked like he was ready to drop any minute.

After a few seconds of no reply you changed your question. 

“Are you sleeping?” 

“No.” 

The short, blunt answer startled you as you were still expecting to get nothing back from him. You were happy he was with you now, that he had come to your apartment. Something was clearly bothering him, and maybe a stranger wouldn’t have been able to tell, but luckily for Javi, you weren’t a stranger. Far from it. 

“Do you try to sleep?” It was a stupid question, but one you needed to ask. You knew his habits, he could spend all night out in a bar or a brothel to avoid sleep if he wanted to. The latter being one that brought a nasty taste to your mouth. 

“Not any more.” As you had expected. 

“Javi, you need to try.” Your voice was soft. 

“I have tried.”

“Try again then.” 

The lights of the buildings of Bogotá were bright against the inky blackness of the night sky. Your curtains were still open showing the proof that it was late. You had been sitting in each other's company for a while.

Javi saw you looking up at the window, and instantly felt guilt at keeping you up too. Just because he wasn’t planning on sleeping tonight, doesn’t mean that he has to stop you too. 

“I should go Y/N.” 

Bringing your attention back to Javi, he seemed to look even worse than he did a few minutes ago. There was no way you were going to let him out of your apartment to go and do God knows what until tomorrow morning when he would start the self-destructive cycle all over again. 

“No, I want you to stay. Please.” 

“Why? You need to go to sleep and I’m keeping you up.” Javi removed himself from your sofa and took steps towards your door. 

“Javi, look at me.” He did stop and brought his gaze to yours. “Would you sleep if you stayed here?”

Your question threw him slightly. It was something he had never considered as to him, that would be a huge imposition on you. But now you were the one to mention it, maybe it would work. He had nothing to lose in the sleep department. He either would, or he wouldn’t. Yet, he also had a lot else to lose. Staying here, in your apartment, knowing you were lying peacefully only a room away, had so many domestic connotations. That was a reason he had never considered staying at yours ever, because could he put himself through that? The magnetic pull he felt around you would be ever harder to resist if he said yes. 

As soon as he let himself slip just once, it would be harder the next time. And then all his worries of keeping you safe and out of his complicated, dangerous life would manifest into reality.

“You can sleep in my room and I will have the sofa. I really don’t mind.” 

Your eyes were pleading him to stay. 

“Thank you. But I can’t. But thank you.” 

Trying not to look at you again, Javi left your apartment before you could try any harder to convince him to stay. 

+  +  +

The next time Javi knocked on your apartment door, it was much later in the evening. You had even been lying in bed for the past half an hour reading. The knocking on your door had startled you considering the hour.

“Javi, what-” 

“Can I take you up on your offer?” He was leaning against the door frame in a way to hold himself up. His body language screamed of fatigue. You wondered how his day had gone. Had he been on a stakeout? Had it been dangerous? 

“What offer?” You were confused for a moment. 

“Sleep… here.” It almost pained him to admit he wanted the comfort and safety of your apartment. 

Your eyes widened when you finally realised what “offer” he was referring to and opened your door further to let him in. 

“I don’t want to bother you at all.” Javi started, wandering over to your couch. “You won’t even know I’m here, apart from the fact I’ll be on your couch.” He let himself fall heavily down onto the cushions. 

“Javi it’s fine don’t worry. You can have my bed if you want and I’ll sleep out here.” You walked to the linen cupboard to reach down a spare pillow and blanket.

Even before he entered your apartment he knew you would say this, and he had planned what he would say in return. There was no way he was going to have you give up your own bed. He was the one imposing on you. 

He hadn’t even consciously realised he was at your door until you had opened it to reveal you wearing pyjama shorts and a tank top. You found it hard to sleep sometimes in the Colombian heat. The amount of skin on show surprised Javi, making him even more aware of your presence. The thrill of the idea of running his hands over every part of your exposed skin was intoxicating. If he wasn’t so utterly exhausted he may have done. Soft. That’s the first word that came to mind upon seeing you in cozy clothing. 

“No, I’m fine here, honestly.” At least Javi had the strength to fight you on this. 

You considered him for a moment, weighing up your points for a good counter argument, but he had already made himself comfortable. Instead, you just handed him the pillow and blanket. 

“Thank you, hermosa.” Javi drawled lazily shoving the pillow underneath his dark hair. 

The nickname didn’t go unnoticed. Your Spanish was good enough to know what he had called you. You wanted to revel in it, allow yourself a small bit of joy that he used that word to address you. Until you remembered that you probably weren’t the first, or last, girl to be called that by Javier Peña. 

“Goodnight Javi.” You saw he had already closed his eyes. And for the first time in weeks you could finally describe him as peaceful. You were going to ask him about his day at work, to try and work out what had finally made him come to you, but by doing so now you would only disturb his peace. 

+   +   +

You woke suddenly, and surprised yourself by the blackness of your room. It still wasn’t morning yet. Your phone read 4:32. 

Remembering Javi was in your apartment, you had the urge to see if he was actually asleep. Was being here actually giving him any respite against his insomnia? 

Trying not to make any noise, you crept to your bedroom door and opened it as quietly as possible. From here you could see his figure lying still on the sofa. A thin sliver of light from in between the drawn curtains shed a small amount of light into the main room. You could tell from the slow and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest that he was in fact, asleep. 

Smiling to yourself you closed the door again and retreated back into the darkness.

+   +   +

Javi sleeping on your couch sometimes became routine very quickly. 

You had got used to leaving the pillow and blanket there every evening, as more often than not he would turn up to use it. You liked it, it was nice knowing where he was, and even nicer to know that when he needed someone, he came to you. 

When you offered him your spare key he was incredibly reluctant to take it. You wanted him to have it so he could come and go as he pleased at night. You knew staying at his own apartment wasn’t working for him, so you wanted to give him freedom in another safe space. 

Eventually, he did accept the key, and sometimes he did use it. Whether that be to leave and come back at night for something, or to let himself in if you had gone out for the evening. You would come back to find him passed out in your living room, the curtains still open giving the tranquil scene an urban backdrop. You would creep around him and close them silently, before retiring to your own bed. 

Amazingly, you found your sleep had improved too. Although some nights you were more aware of the man in your apartment with you. Knowing he was in the other room was soothing, but at the same time maddening. The fact that you were too good friends meant you could never offer your own bed to him, with you still in it. No matter how much you wanted to. So you just were content with knowing that you were helping a friend. Javi had started to look better even from the first night he had spent at yours, something that only got better with time. 

One night was very different though. 

You had just finished eating dinner at the little breakfast bar in your kitchen when Javi practically stumbled into your apartment. At first you thought he was drunk, but then it became apparent that something else ailed him. There was a horrible purple bruise on the side of his face. 

“Javi!” As soon as you saw him you ran towards him and helped him to sit down. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” 

“Well it’s obviously not.”

You cautiously brought the tips of your fingers to the afflicted skin. He winced as you touched it - just as you thought. It wasn’t fine. 

“What happened?” Your voice was almost a whisper. You knew what he did for a job, you knew it was dangerous, but only now were you seeing that with your own eyes. In all the time you’d known Javi, you had seen him get into a few scrapes but nothing as bad as this. The bruise covered from next to his right eye all the way down his cheek. 

“One of Escobar’s sicarios had a gun, which ran out of ammo, so he used it in another way.” 

You were still inspecting the damage. There was no obvious swelling so icing it wouldn’t do anything now. Rest is what he needed. 

“Please tell me you managed to get a few punches in too.”

“Unluckily for him, my gun was working perfectly.”

“Ah…” You wondered how the other guy managed to get so close.

Javi turned to look you dead in the eye. Your face was already so close to his and the close proximity almost winded you. You had always been fascinated by his dark brown eyes. You hadn’t known anyone to have eyes as dark but still so lovely to look at, because they were so warm, and comforting. Yet, there was something else that was there too. Something that may be considered wary or even haunted. What had Javi witnessed as part of his job? 

Neither of you had said anything for a few moments, however neither of you had made a move to shift away from each other.  

“Has work been a lot like this recently?” He could still hear your whisper even though you could barely hear yourself. 

“Yeah it’s been… difficult lately.” 

“You are so brave and strong though Javi.” He winced at your words. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that.” 

“I don’t, not from you. You’re just wrong.” 

“No I’m not. You are, even if you don’t believe it.” You allowed your words to be flooded with determination. You hated that he thought this way about himself. 

Javi leant forwards and instinctively put his head in his hands. He winced again at the contact. The affection you felt for him in that moment was overwhelming. 

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Not really, I feel more dizzy than anything.”

“You need to go to the hospital.”

“No I don’t. Cause for one, this was an unauthorised stakeout.”

“Javi.” 

“Y/N please, just let me rest.” 

Putting everything else aside and prioritising Javi’s well-being you found yourself saying, “Come and lie down on my bed.” The couch was no place for someone injured. 

You briefly saw a flash of worry cross his face. Was the thought of lying on your bed so bad? 

You helped him up and he leant on you on the way into your bedroom. He kicked off his shoes at the door and you allowed him to lie on his back. 

“You know you shouldn’t be left alone.” 

“I know, that’s why I came here, because I know you would watch out for me.” 

You were now lying on your side next to him, and upon hearing that you felt a blush creep into your cheeks. You would always watch out for him. You were glad he knew that. 

“You should rest.” You moved to get up but a strong arm caught your arm. 

“Stay please.” 

“I was only going to get the blanket to sleep on the floor in here.”

“No I mean, stay here. Please.” His hand was still wrapped around your forearm. 

“Ok.” You agreed, and settled back onto the bed, bringing the sheets up over the both of you. 

“Goodnight Javi.” You said softly, for what felt like the millionth time recently. That in itself was soothing. 

“Goodnight Y/N.” 

Every cell in your body was on fire as you could feel his body heat radiating through your bed. You wanted to reach out and have some physical contact with him. Nevertheless, you knew he needed rest, and you were only friends, so there were boundaries. You rolled over to give him space and willed yourself to sleep. 

+   +   +

The first thing you thought when you woke up was how warm you were. Not an uncomfortable heat, just nice warmth. 

Javi’s arm was around you. 

Sometime through the night he had moved so his chest was up against your back. The muscles of his arm were strong and solid. You wondered if he had moved consciously, or unconsciously. You couldn’t decide which was better. He was definitely still asleep though, as the rhythm of his breathing was even and shallow. 

You, consciously, snuggled back into his embrace, and could feel yourself dozing off again until you were startled by movements from him. Javi’s arm tightened around you even more and he moved so his face was nestled into your neck, you could feel his nose lightly touching your skin. 

You couldn’t help but grin. You thought about all the times he had slept in your apartment but not in your room with you - it was a waste. You’d both been missing out on this. Maybe in Colombia this was the closest feeling to home you both of you would get. 

Masterlist 

[aaetherius]

A tiny update under the cut (one of the personal/mental health/medication variety - it’s not negative, or venting or anything like that)! This is primarily for those I speak to OOC (though can apply slightly to the dash as well)! 

I never know what I should share or not, but I do try to address things when it’s something that impacts things related to threads or ooc communication (plus I sometimes think it can be nice to hear about things sometimes). This isn’t anything bad, more so just a heads up! 

Most of you who I am in ooc communication with know I started medication for my ADHD. I am also on depression medication. The issue being that we’re having a bit of a difficult time getting things to work/work together (I’ve actually always been very resistant to medication for some reason so this isn’t too unusual for me). So tldr, I mostly just want to slide on to say that the medications do influence, greatly, how much social energy I have available. 

The ADHD medication tends to make me more talkative, less tired, and more active on the dash (via ooc posts or just interacting with the dash in general such as sending memes, liking ooc posts, and whatnot). So, when the effects of the ADHD medication are active I can be very social (this is especially true on Discord/if I’m comfortable with someone) - reaching out on Discord/responding to ooc messages/whatnot. Normally I’m pretty shy/reserved and rarely message first ooc because I have terrible social anxiety and don’t wish to be a bother and am usually extremely tired. So I do worry that when I’m in a better and more social mood I might come off as too much as I can type/talk a lot/can be excitable (and sometimes I send cheesy pictures that remind me of people or I think you might like/find funny haha) when I’m usually very mellow, and if I do you are free to tell me you’re not in the mood to talk or just ignore me until you are (you do not have to respond to ooc messages quickly by any means)! So, there are times when I reach out multiple times or days in a row when this is happening. 

And, then, the depression medication does the opposite (see where the issue is coming in hgdufgkf), but helps me with focus/stopping my brain from going 100 miles a minute. It utterly exhausts me to the point where I, someone who has never taken a nap in their life, fall asleep randomly and can stay asleep for hours (aka I can totally pass out mid-conversation, and have fallen asleep at work. Thankfully I am a super light sleeper and pretty functional after just waking up so the phone ringing in my ear is enough to save me hguidflghu). I tend to do more writing when the impacts of this one are stronger. However, I also tend to be very reserved. I may not like things on the dash, send in memes, or might be slow ooc, and I’m very unlikely to reach out ooc first, and may get tired and leave you hanging during a conversation (that said, you’re always free to message me ooc and I will do my best to respond just know if I don’t or if I’m slow or if I stop after a bit it’s not personal, my social energy just died rhgkdu). So, in short, when the depression medication is kicking in, I could go a few days or longer without reaching out to someone if you’re someone I usually speak to/reach out to or, if I seem to like your posts randomly and then there are other times when I do not like them, it’s the medications flip-flopping on me. 

So, we keep trying various things to kind of control it/adjust it as needed. There was a time when I just took the depression meds, and a time when I just took the adhd meds (if I talk to you enough you might be able to guess because I kind of vanished ooc for a bit and I am so sorry gffjgkdgvg). Now we’re trying them at once (in the morning and at night), but that’s making my insomnia flare up despite the depression one being the one at night and tldr there’s a lot going on with figuring out the best system for me and it effects my ooc communication a lot. So, when I’m super active ooc vs when I am not active ooc at all are very random at the moment. Some days I will be, some days I won’t be. I couldn’t tell you the when or the how, we’re trying to get all sorted out, but it’s obviously trial and error.   

So, in short, I just want to say that if I ever go quiet on anyone or I seem to be less active on the dash in terms of things that involve social energy, I’m not mad at anyone and it is very much not personal at all. And, if I’m ever super social and being a bother, I am also sorry, you can always stop responding (there’s never any pressure or even just tell me you’re tired!). I’m me regardless, of course, it doesn’t change anything other than the amount of social energy I have basically which is why sometimes I seem super active on the dash and other times you can message me and I seem dead to the world ghruidfglu. 

Hopefully this explains things well enough/makes sense, I have zero knowledge of how medication works I just know how it impacts me personally so I just tried my best to put words to that so those who speak to me ooc know why I seem to flip-flop between being social and not being social! 

Also not super related, but for some reason I make more typos when the adhd meds are active I have no idea why, you have my apologies for that as well. 

Thank you for understanding, as always! I love all of you very much, and I hope your week is a wonderful one! 

[cheri-translates]

🍒Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a call which has not been released in English servers!🍒

This call comes after Gavin’s Location Scouting Date (堪景之约).

Gavin: MC, are you asleep?

MC: Not yet. My head is filled with the shooting program. Why aren’t you sleeping yet? 

Gavin: I was thinking - since we don’t have any plans for tomorrow, are there any places you want to go? Or if you weren’t here to gather materials, where would you want to go most? 

MC: Hm... if it were purely a trip, I’d really want to stay in the hotel and sleep haha. I’m just kidding. I could arrange for some leisurely plans.

Gavin: Leisurely? For example, a stroll?

MC: Mm, taking a walk down foreign streets has always felt very wonderful. Everyone who passes by are people you’ve never met. Sometimes, in my heart, I’ll guess their identities, their jobs, or where they’re heading to.

Gavin: And also wish them a beautiful day in your heart. 

MC: How did you know? 

Gavin: You mentioned it once when we went out the last time. 

MC: But these experiences really give one an inexplicable sense of anticipation and melancholy.

Gavin: Do you like such experiences? 

MC: Mm, there’s a different kind of romantic feeling to it. 

Gavin: Then we could go for a walk tomorrow morning. The streets in the early morning should have a more local character.

MC: I’m worried I wouldn’t be able to wake up tomorrow, because I think I might be having insomnia today.

Gavin: Let’s watch the sunrise then. That is, if it counts as a leisurely activity.

MC: Of course it is! Watching the sunrise is about waiting, not chasing. Now that you mention it, seeing the sunrise in a foreign land feels very special. I think it’d be different as compared to seeing it in Loveland City.

Gavin: It’s said that the sun we see every day is different from the one we see the day before. Just like how whenever I’m with you, every day feels fresh and new. Rest early. I’ll wake you up tomorrow. 

-

Wait why aren’t they sleeping in the same room... :<

Second call: here

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 16 RECAP!

It’s currently 7am here and I haven’t had a wink of sleep cos of insomnia and a racing mind so why not recap a Fruits Basket episode? Yayyyy - madness... aha! This was a good one.

Let’s gooooo

-------------------------------------------

Lol, ‘You might be wondering how I got in this situation’

- Tbh, I could see myself doing the same as Uo just out of frustration at the fact that I was so worked up over someone I only met twice. I feel you, Uo.

- It’s super sweet and brave of Tohru would go to Sohma house despite Akito just so she can find Kureno for her bestie! <3 Obviously, Tohru is automatically Best Girl of the episode. If not every episode, tee hee

AHHHHHH! I CANT HANDLE HOW ADORABLE MOMO IS. AND HER SPEECH PATTERNS! ALL THE KUDOS TO HER VA, SAYA TANAKA. I can’t believe I wanna adopt an anime character as my child.

And like Tohru... I am tears.

Ok, this episode made me really understand this ship like A LOT MORE. I am seeing with my third eye now, I get it... (A/N: I’m tired) Their relationship is so gentle and so sweet and while I still lean to the more familial perspective of it, I can definitely see the more romantic side of it more clearly.

Momiji’s Dad is kinda the most nuanced parent out of all of the zodiac parents. I feel like most of the parents are extremes of the opposite sides of the scale of parenting. But with Momiji’s Dad, you can tell he genuinely cares about Momiji and looks out for him and loves him as much as he can BUT... at the same time he’s also making a kinda selfish decision by choosing to move on without Momiji with his newly formed family.

Of course it’s not so simple as ‘he’s just being selfish’ considering Momiji’s Mum is still there with her memory loss of Momiji just wanting to create a family with her husband, but... there is a certain level of coldness there in how bad he wants to protect the secret. 

Oooo, I do love parallels. Have I made it clear that I love parallels?

Tohru!... :(... Her breakdown was so out of nowhere but I love that there was enough info to decipher that Tohru’s still dealing with her grief but is torn because there are also other issues going on with the people she cares about so deeply that she is kinda overwhelmed by all the pain. And it was portrayed in such a delicate way, it was heartbreaking to watch.

And Momiji’s gentle way of trying to get Tohru to explain herself and calm down without you know... saying ‘calm down’ was perfect and heart warming and I love them!!!

- I can’t decide who gets Outfit Appreciation this week cos I really adore Momo’s outfit but I also really adore Momiji’s outfit. So, I’m gonna go with both cos their outfits kinda go together and if they can’t be together in the anime then they can be together in my stupid outfit ranking, haha. 4 stars.

- Aha, Tohru doing secret investigating in the most Tohru way was great. I love her!

Who... is that... it’s not Akito... so... does that mean it’s... her?

Shit.

Hahaha, oh Tohru. She’s really in top form this episode. 🤣

I LOVE the way this sentence is worded in contrast to how it is expressed. I feel like it perfectly captures both Uo AND Tohru’s view of Kureno at the same time. The soft hearted, goofiness of the tone of his voice mixed with the cool and collected wording of the sentence. 

GOD FUCKIN’ DAMMIT, KYO. 

Why do you have to be heartbreaking and so fuckin’ cool at the same time?! And Tohru’s crying in response to that?!?! Like her body is just unconciously screaming ‘NO’?!?!?! 

I can’t stand these crazy kids. <3

A FAVOURITE KYORU MOMENT!

Can we just stop and appreciate how comfortable and close with each other these two are now in comparison to Season 1? And how the roof was originally Kyo’s place but it’s now turned into ‘their’ place? Can you believe this is the same Kyo that was super embarrassed about cooking porridge for Tohru in Season 1?!?!?! I just... I just... *sigh* <3

‘What do you wish for Kyo-kun?’ ‘For someone to stop crying’

...I must retire now. Perfect. *chef’s kiss*

---------------------------------------------

See you next week!

[shiftytracts]

This was gonna be a scenario post, hence the A and B format, but got so long (2.4k) it almost counts as a story. I’m less sure it counts as emeto--it’s all nausea/general digestive upset, no actual vomit. Also mentions scat and weight gain, but those tags would definitely constitute false advertising; they’re more like incidental story elements than kink elements.

--

A’s on new meds, whose side effects include slight but near-constant nausea. They wander one morning through the dark, brown-carpeted house they share with B (their SO) and another housemate (C), coffee cup in hand, still slightly sweat-sticky from bed but without the time to shower. It’s a small, thin-walled house, and C’s not up yet, so A and B keep off their shoes for as long as they can, trying not to make too much noise. A muffles their burps into the crook of their elbow. B makes eggs and toast for both; A’s gotta wolf ‘em before their appointment, but wishes they hadn’t—or at least that they’d skipped the orange juice, and maybe saved brushing their teeth for after breakfast. They head to their appointment with their heart pounding in their gut, queasy and bloated and short of breath, bubbly stiff cramps forming in new places every time they bend a different way, belly rumbling so much they wonder if B can hear it, if they can see it shake, can see A’s navel through their t-shirt.

(“Be honest”—A implores, when they wander back from the can to the kitchen sink where B stands washing grease off the breakfast plates—“do I look like a total fatass?”

(“What? No.” B laughs, rhetorically, and adds, “Why?”

(“Well ‘cause I sorta feel like one is all,” A says, peremptorily stroking up and down past their navel, but regretting it when this uncalled-for jiggling further upsets their stomach.

(“Aw. No, you look fine,” B assures them. They look back to their dishes, then at A again with preemptive shrug: “I guess if they were really looking someone might figure you’d had a big breakfast, but.” A yanks at their shirt, hoping to obscure this; “Don’t do that, you’ll stretch it,” B reminds them.)

A tries to crap before they leave but no dice—not time yet. Nasty cramps and cold sweat all through their shrink appointment. Comes home, gives vent to the pyroclastic flow, then collapses supine on the bed and unbuttons their shorts. Takes a nap.

Despite their best efforts B’s doings in there an hour or so after that wake A up; they direct A to the water glass they set by the bed. “Oh. Thanks,” A yawns, and asks if B’ll hand them pajama pants. B smiles and complies.

“Not going out again then, huh? Not feeling well?”

A shrugs. “No, I’m okay now, just kinda.” They try to make a hand gesture for tired or loopy, but judging from B’s lack of answering nod they figure this doesn’t suffice as explanation. “Might later though, I don’t know.”

“Mm.”

“Should eat something, probably.”

“Ah, yeah—get back on the horse?”

“Haha yeah.” Meanwhile A rubs their belly up and down as though to sound its opinion on the level of drawstring tightness they’ve selected. B sits next to them for a sec, puts a hand on their back, pecks their jaw.

“I guess you are a bit chubbier now,” B admits, feeling guilty for how they dodged A’s question on that score this morning.

“Seems that way,” allows A. This, they’re pretty sure, is the previous med’s fault. They wouldn’t’ve switched were that its only sin, of course, but the thing had the gall to be useless aside from its side effects of weight gain and insomnia. “Is it gross? Should I.”

“What? No,” B says again, and laughs rhetorically as before. “‘Gross’? Of course not.” B bats A’s jaw, very gently, playfully. “No matter what happens, I’m just happy you’re getting help.”

A’s answering smile lasts maybe a quarter of a second. “Thanks.” All the same they stand and spread their arms out to either side, to give B a better look. “Sure you don’t mind?”

B smiles, shakes their head chidingly, incredulously. “Why would I mind? It’s kinda cute, if anything.” To prove they mean it they go around behind A, rest the side of their face on the back of A’s neck, snake their hands around to A’s front and slot each one atop their waistband so B’s palms fit in the hollow between pelvis and flab. Roots around til they find the end of A’s shirt, pushes it out of the way, un- and re-does the drawstring so their pajama pants sit at a more flattering height. “That too tight?”

“No, it’s kinda grounding actually,” A shrugs. “Thanks.”

“Mhm. Now go eat something.”

A eats some leftover rice with soy sauce—C ordered way too much rice with their takeout two nights ago, and left the extra up for grabs. Then A figures they can handle two Oreos. Can’t stop burping after that, but only feels a little queasy, little squirmy. Lies on the couch with their laptop, alternately studying and playing Tetris (they’re a week or two into the fall semester; today’s Friday, which they have off from both classes and work). Until C gets home, at which point Mariokart happens. This makes A feel sick, though, not sure whether in a too much food or not enough kinda way, so they take their computer and go back to the bedroom, telling C they just want to remove themselves from the social distraction. Maintains this ruse until about halfway down the hallway, then lets go the foodbaby they’ve been suckin’ in and moves their free hand up and down it as they round the corner into their bedroom doorway. B’s all dressed and ready for their friend’s party now; has to go soon. They’re crisscross-applesauced on the bed looking at their phone, but they look up when A comes in. “Hey.”

“Hi! Feeling better?” B asks, with a slight frown that suggests they know the answer.

A busies their hands with setting their laptop on the bed so they can say, “Nope—queasatronic,” without seeming too self-pitying.

B nose-laughs but says, “Aw. I’m sorry.”

A shrugs, sits. “Eh.”

“Want me to stay home?—I could—?”

But this time A says, “What? No. ‘Course not, you should go. I’m fine, I’m.” (Shrugs, realizing already that this’ll sound like a guilt trip and wondering whether they secretly mean one. But they’re too bushed to think of another ending to the sentence.) “I’m used to this; don’t need a babysitter. You should go.”

“Okay. Thank you. If you’re sure.”

“No, please. Seriously.”

“Alright. What time is it?” B chirps, then presses the top button on their phone and reports, “5:24—yeah okay, I should go. Take care, feel better. Need anything?—I could stop at CVS, or.”

“Uh…” A mimes thinking about it, then spaces out for real.

“Well, you can text me if so,” B laughs.

“Cool. Sure. Have fun.”

“Thaaanks,” B says, swinging themselves by the hand around the doorjamb as they slip out. A arranges themselves supine again, hands folded on their stomach. Lets out an unimpressed sigh as though in summation. Doesn’t really wanna take a nap, but they try playing Tetris again and feel too icky when they try to focus their eyes on the screen. Closes their laptop but does not remove its warm weight from their lap, even though in the 5pm heat its plastic sticks to their wrists. Burps, mouth open, not loudly exactly but sorta high-pitched—as though they were an adolescent boy with a soda can, they scoff. Then wonders if they have any more diet ginger ale. Wanders out to the kitchen, in the extra wall space between which and the dining room (B calls it a “breakfast nook,” but A just assumes that’s a joke they don’t get) they keep their soda cans stacked on the floor next to the milk-cratey recycle bins. There is indeed one left. They grab that and a cup (and two ice cubes outta the tray in the freezer), too lazy to fetch the one B put water in for them earlier, and remind themselves to text B that they’ve run out.

C’s still out there, and notices A’s choice of beverage. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just. Guts’re on the fritz again.”

“Hm. Sorry, pal.”

“It’s cool.”

“You gonna be able to find something you can eat?”

“What?”

“Tonight, I mean. Is there food you can eat?”

A shrugs. “Still some rice left I guess.”

“I ask ‘cause I’m going to the store in an hour, so. If you want some saltines or something.”

“Oh.” A laughs; adds, “thanks. Think we still have some from last time though.”

“Okay. Well, if you think of anything you want.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

“No problem; good luck.”

At this departure from Hope you feel better A laughs slightly. “Thanks.” Heads back to their room, drinks their soda and melty ice. This is the hottest-ass part of the day, so when it’s gone they balance the still-cool glass on their clavicle. They feel much better now, if sorta bloated and fizzy. Quease level comparatively minimal. Figures they should eat again while they’ve got the, uh, guts for it.

Once they start on their second round of rice A finds they’re pretty hungry. Adds soy sauce a lot more zealously, this time, and risks the last leftover spring roll as well but regrets the grease. Has to make up for it with the unsauced bits of rice clinging to the edge of the styrofoam box—you know, like, a palate cleanser or whatever. They hiccup a little, then belch when they bring their plate to the sink, from the contact between gut and the edge of the counter: hadn’t thought about the extra room they take up now. Rubs a peremptory circle into the left side above the navel but finds they feel alright, for now—then 20 minutes later heads into the can, expecting lava from how their stomach cramps and rolls, but gets out only some air and a few wispy pebbles. Notices with greater dismay, then, on the way back to their room, how their belly queasily sloshes around when they walk. Doesn’t seem to have shrunk much.

In B’s mirror, back in their room, A finds they look pretty gigantic, too; they changed into a looser shirt after the first one got too sweaty, and in this comparative tent all you can tell is that the gut’s the widest part of their profile. They set their hands down on it to bring it down to size, and are dismayed at how little difference this makes. Does feel nicer that way though; leaves ‘em there as they trudge slowly back to their side of the bed, and pushes slow circles into each side. Sits heavily on the edge of the bed, hunched over a little. Can feel the tightness in their stomach that means either it’s going to rumble in that long drawn-out violating way where you feel like it’s loosing all your secrets or that you’re going to belch so loud you’ll wonder if you have to puke. Waits, then gives up on waiting and slowly, laboriously lies down. Stretches a little, tempting fate, but it kinda hurts: ties a weird knot high up on the right when they loosen back up. They put three fingers on it gently, and try to iron it out back and forth. Ah!—there it goes. Stomach starts growling, seems to shake everything up, then once that uneasy shifting’s done with it still keeps up the sound what seems a ludicrous, embarrassing long time. When that’s done they sigh and then burp a little. Laughs at themselves for this display. Carefully carefully carefully turns onto their side, facing away from the door, and tries to sleep, a protective hand curled around their stomach.

When B gets home much later that night they wake up a little (“Oh. Hi. How was the thing.” “Hey! Sorry to wake you. It was fun; I think it went well.” “That’s good.” “Mhm.” “Anyway good night.” B laughs: “Haha okay. Go back to sleep A.” They mean to reply at your service but instead say, “Open sesame”; B laughs and pats their hair so it itches their nose. When A swipes at it snot comes loose. They decide not to open that pandoras wormtails); figures they’ll fall back to sleep quick until the consciousness of nausea slides back into place, at which point they try to roll onto their back and find themselves ludicrously heavy. It takes several tries, and all their breath. They groan with bored self-pity, forgetting they’re not alone in the room.

Meanwhile B struggles out of their clothes and into pajama pants and an inside-out (but not backwards) tank top in the dark. “You okay?”

“Blugh. Not great.”

“Aw, still?”

“Yeah… nah,” A says, blinking, confusedly forgetting which answer is appropriate. “I gotta pee,” A decides. This helps a little, since it wakes them up all the way and therefore allows them to disentangle the need to pee from their other woes. In the bathroom mirror they look mostly deflated up top but still extra puffy and round lower down; at least it doesn’t hurt their stomach to stand up anymore. Only hurts like a menstrual cramp does after you take ibuprofen, but the quease that in that case is only incipient is much worse here. At one point they cough, and dread this “pandoras wormtails” too when it alerts them to all the mushy brittle things in their throat and chest. This also makes them start burping again, so that that’s how they end up greeting B when they get back to the doorway of their room: fist over their mouth, wincing a little, leaning into the wall for balance. B’s a good sport though. They face each other in bed and B lays both their warm hands on A’s stomach, whimpers in pity at how blown up they can tell it is.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” they say in that affectionate half-asleep tone that always comes out querulous.

“It’s cool,” A says back.

B sloppily nods so that their jaw thuds against their pillow, hair spilling into their eyes, and tells A, “Just try to go back to sleep; feel betterinthmorning probbleby,” trying to get all the words out before a yawn.