#and we will never speak of it again
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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Newer Dimension 20 fans might look at Liv attempting to hack Usha’s brain by crushing it just the perfect amount and think “this is completely unhinged and obviously totally unprecedented”, but it is actually no less than the fifth time a PC has done impromptu untrained surgery on another character, the third time on another PC, in D20 history.
So, safe to say it’s practically par for the course at this point.
#d20 veterans are like#here we go again#it will never not be unbelievably funny tho#nsbu#never stop blowing up#liv pearsall#usha nsbu#kingskin#g13#mera speaks#EDIT: I forgot one guys it’s actually the fifth#(sixth if you count the gilear vasectomy but I don’t believe that actually happened)
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genuinely curious how the writers and larger dragon age audience would treat thom rainier if instead of being appropriately* repentant and putting himself in prison he blew up a major orlesian government building to instigate a chevalier rebellion or tried to have someone do some necromantic blood magic ritual involving uncertain danger and possible sacrifices to bring the innocent children he ordered killed back to life
#*appropriately as in showing the expected amount of remorse in the appropriate way in a society founded on guilt and shame#i think blackwall actually tells us a lot about how dragon age's writers conceptualize justice and deservedness of punishment#im glad we get the option to forgive him but why do we get the option when anders is exiled at best?#and later characterized as a villain by dai#when solas is willfully imprisoned at best and trapped in a horrifying psychological torture chamber at worst?#blackwall gets a full redemption happy ending if inky so chooses#and im not saying he shouldnt#i forgive him every time#but its so interesting to me that narratively speaking#he seems to earn his happy ending through submission to punishment via imprisonment#as does solas but blackwall is portrayed far more sympathetically overall#there isnt the same meta-level narrative slander and clear agenda on behalf of the writing to make you feel a certain way about his crimes#as there is with anders and solas#why? whats the difference? what did he do to buy himself that narrative goodwill?#put himself in prison? why do the writers love carceral punishment so much lmfaooo#mine#if you wanna screenshot these tags and add them to the reblog feel free#im realizing i prob just shouldve put all of this in the post but its too late now#i think theres actually a strong argument that thom does not do nearly ENOUGH to right his wrongs#where is his effort to reform the orlesian military? where is his criticism of orlesian imperialism?#how does serving in the inquisition have a direct impact on the people he harmed? it doesnt#when you compare him to someone like roy mustang#yes im comparing him to roy mustang this is my blog and you are never going to escape roy mustang comparisons here#roy's political ambitions following his war crimes are directly related to those war crimes#and his goals directly benefit the same group of people he harmed#their ancestors and family members literally#meanwhile blackwall just kind of does vague “good” deeds and gets a full redemption#he really does not make much effort to repatriate the harm he did as a soldier#he just moves on#which again.... no shade to blackwall. my inky forgives him
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standing in front of a firing squad would have been easier than reading this script i need to be shot
#this is hands down the most insane script ive read i was sitting slack jawed half the time#not because its Outrageous but because. oh my fucking God#frank sure does have too much influence over *gestures broadly* This.#to see their dysfunction presented like this. is. so.#like. of course the reason they cant be nice to each other is because they all expect some kind of Trick. we see this again in s12#they've set a precedent where everyone is unable to be vulnerable out of fear that someone else is going to take advantage of them#its about knowing to Never let their guard down. because they can't afford to be stupid enough to think someone was being nice#its literally about them not trusting each other. they know each other. care about each other. but they're all still at war with each other#anything could be a trojan horse#and even when they try to do something thoughtful it's ruined bc their motives are being questioned and that provokes a defense#''of course i wasn't being Nice that's stupid why would i ever do that for you'' because otherwise theyre leaving themselves open to attack#i think this episode works purely because theyre All trying to change this at once and since theyre all aware of that fact#its like oh okay youre not fucking with me because we've established we're all trying not to be cynical#i cannot even begin to dig into the pure autism of this entire. not even just the episode premise. the whole basis of the gang's dynamic.#like yeah of course a group of weird neurodivergent people is hypersensitive to this#its the same thing as mac and dennis in suburbs questioning wally's intentions/demeanor welcoming them to the neighbourhood#literally in defense mode all the time because they expect the worst from people and they haven't had any reason to think otherwise#marder and rosell get it but thats not exactly new and surprising <3#but wow this script adds so much. at least for me.#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#ada speaks#character meta#for good measure
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Julie looks so scary oh my god 😭 (I drew this as a joke lmao 😭😭)
#my art#welcome home#digital art#welcome home fanart#julie joyful#i dont know what else to say ajhshs 😭#we never speak of this again guys..
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buck and eddie actually fucked in the truck when they stopped for gas and coffee. it just wasn't relevant to maddie's journey
#sibyl speaks#911 spoilers#sad desperate exhausted terrified devastated quickie in the back of a deserted parking lot#that they never acknowledge again#aside from when eddie said we probably could have handled [this thing between us] better
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HC that sometimes when Pony’s not thinking he’ll call Darry ‘sir’ and the two of them will just stare at each other for a while cause neither of them can figure out when Darry started seeming old enough to be called ‘sir’
#for context in case anyone’s confused in the south we call our elders ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ literally all the time#and when I say elders I mean like parents teachers friends parents older adults etc#and it’s seen as like super rude not to so i think ponyboy will call darry ‘sir’ sometimes just out of habit#cause even though he still sees him as his brother he’s still like an authority figure now#and they both know that sorta but every time he does it it freaks them both out#and they just sorta stop talking and never speak of it#until ponyboy does it again#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#the outsiders ponyboy#ponyboy#the outsiders movie#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders book#the outsiders musical#ponyboy michael curtis#darrel curtis#darry curtis#the outsiders darry
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princezam this season really reminds me of that one post here that reminds us that hope isn't some perfect thing, it has bloodied fists and is missing teeth, it's hands are dirty and her knees are scraped. and no matter what she keeps getting back up and brushing off the dirt on her clothes.
it really makes me think how zam just has to keep getting back up, with missing teeth and bloodied fists, scraped knees and torn up clothes. no matter what he would keep going back to the fight no matter how destructive it was to him. he stayed hopeful and kept fighting no matter how much he lost.
zam's determination reminds me of frisk too, choosing either fight, mercy or act. going back to do that fight again, to retry that action, to show more mercy and most of all to stay determined. he had to fail hundreds of fights and despite how hard it is and how many people zam has lost he'll respawn and do it again.
i really like this season (mostly because this is the season i started watching lifesteal) but also the arcs i've witnessed zam go throughout the entirety of s6, i think the determination zam has is awesome and honestly makes me reflect about how my real life has been and i'm a big fan of the characters and all the different developments and aspects.
i love you lifesteal smp, i love you lifestealers, i love you lore, i love you chill ass vc's. WE ARE LIFESTEAL !!!!!!
#we are lifesteal !!!!!!!!!!#we are lifesteal !!!!#i am never going to function normally ever again because of this server bro#i will never be normal#i wasn't already but damn bro#ok#lifesteal smp#lssmp#princezam#nico speaks
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Grey
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Synopsis: Steve gets a wake up call from yall's daughter
Contents: talks of aging, kids being kids, references to smut but nothing explicit
Steve groans as his consciousness comes to. Something is hitting his face. Someone. Repeatedly.
Steve squints his bleary eyes open as a hand smacks him in the jaw again. A small smile appears on his face even though his jaw stings from the impact. "Morning," Steve's voice is still thick with sleep as he turns to look into brown eyes barely peeking over the edge of the bed.
A quiet voice repeats back ,"Morning," to Steve before arms reach up over the edge of the bed to try and grasp something. Small hands grab the blanket and tug it off of him slightly as the child attempts to climb up. At two and half, Amelia Joy Harrington can barely see above the edge of her parents' bed, let alone get on it.
Steve hoists Amelia up and sits her on his stomach. Steve winces as Amelia scrambles, a stray foot hitting his thigh precariously close to his crotch. Arms are thrown around his neck in a hug as Amelia lays her head against her dad's chest.
Steve feels like his heart could burst out of his chest from the joy he is feeling. A hug from his baby? The best way to wake up in the morning. Who cares if his jaw is still stinging and probably red, his little girl loves him.
Steve sighs in contentment. Steve holds his daughter close until she starts to fidget and wiggle. Amelia sits up and throws her hands in the air. "Happy Birthday!" She whispers excitedly, except she has no concept of how quiet a whisper should actually be and says it in a much too loud voice.
"What?" Steve asks, hand hovering near Amelia's side in case she slips. Amelia's eyebrows furrow as she pouts at him, a look that is an exact copy of you. Her arms slowly lower as she stares at Steve. "Happy Birthday. You old." Amelia pouts at him.
Steve blinks at Amelia in confusion but nods his head. First off, rude, he isn't that old. Steve isn't sure where she gets her unfiltered, blunt commentary (it absolutely isn't him). Second, it absolutely isn't his birthday. Not even close.
"Why uh...why is it my birthday?" Steve asks, unsure if Amelia fully understands the concept. Not sure if he can explain the idea of a birthday to a two (and a half) year old. "Grey." Amelia declares giving Steve whiplash. Before Steve can speak, Amelia points at the comforter," Blue." Steve smiles," Yes, blue."
Amelia points to her shirt," Green." Steve nods. Amelia taps under Steve's eye, lashes brushing against her finger causing him to close it. Steve hopes she doesn't attempt to actually poke his eye.
"Brown." Amelia declares. "Thats right." Steve grins, his girl is so smart. Amelia points to his temple," Grey." "That's ri- what?! No!" Steve's mouth drops open as Amelia giggles. "Uncle Dustbin says grey is old. Birthday makes old. Happy Birthday!"
The creak of the loose floorboard in the hall notifies Steve of your approach. You peek into the doorway of the room, seeing your two favorite people. One looking aghast and the other giggling at her father's reaction.
"What's going on in here?" You ask, leaning against the doorway. "Grey. Birthday." Amelia announces, like it explains everything. And it does in her little mind.
You hum in response, looking at your husband who seems lost for words. Amelia slides off of Steve and off the bed, Steve guiding her so her feet land on the ground absent-mindedly. He would never let her fall or get hurt. Or you.
Amelia half walks half dances in your direction. A prance in her step, she stops in front of you and grabs your hands. "It's daddy's birthday," She says before headbutting your leg. You chuckle and pat her head as she dances out of the room, in her own little world.
"You lying to my kid again?" You ask once Amelia is gone. Steve sputters as he sits up," I did not- our kid- did not lie." "Uh-huh, sure," you say sarcastically. Steve rolls his eyes at you as he gets up out of bed.
Steve stretches as he rocks on his feet, back cracking, before strolling over to you. "Good morning," Steve mumbles, hand landing on your hip. You hum back as he leans in and kisses you. Soft. Slow. Sweet. Leaving you longing for more as he pulls back.
"Love you," Steve says, fingers running along the waistband of your pants. "I love you too," you want to melt into him. Curl up in his arms and stay in this moment. Let the love and adoration fill the air around you.
"Do I look old?" Steve is the first to break the silence. Your brow furrows in confusion," huh?" "Amelia she," Steve huffs out a laugh," said I have grey hair." You chuckle as you bring a hand up, fingers threading through his hair," You have some but its nice." "Its nice huh?" "Makes you look distinguished. Handsome." You bite your lip and look up at him.
Steve knows that look. Knows it well. It's the look you gave him the first time you moved past just making out. The same look you gave him on your first anniversary. The same look you wore on your wedding night. The same look you gave before Amelia was conceived.
Steve can't help the smirk that spreads across his face. If getting old gives him that look, well, he won't complain.
"What about me?" You ask, batting your lashes. "Beautiful," Steve kisses your cheek," Gorgeous," he kisses the corner of your lips. He continues to alternate between kissing all over your face and praising you.
"My love," Steve whispers before kissing you softly on the lips. You sigh into the kiss, one hand tangling in his hair, the other trying to pull him closer.
A loud crash from the living room has you two pulling back from the sweet moment you stole. "What was that?" You call down the hall. "Nothing!" Amelia yells back, making you sigh but smile. Steve can't help but grin too. His life was a little hectic dealing with a rambunctious child, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. And he thinks, if life is like this, he can manage getting old with you. He wouldn't want it any other way.
#Steve whines to Robin later who just sits there laughing until she cries#Until he points out she's aged too because she has laugh lines from smiling and then she spirals just a bit#He has to hold her hand and tell her its a good thing and she goes on a rant about anti-aging and its harder for women then men#How there's all this extra pressure and Steve is aghast like he isnt dumb he knew there was but he never heard it all verbalized#He comes home and kisses you and gets on his knees and tells you he loves you#He then begs you to let him show you how much he loves you wanting nothing more then to use his tongue on you#I mean why would you not let him#And when you lay in bed cuddling after he thinks again he doesn't mind aging if he's doing it with you#You wake up abruptly in the middle of the night and startle him awake#“Oh my God Amelia is going to go to high school and get a boyfriend” you whine#Steve just mutters an oh God and immediately starts thinking if it would be TOO much to have the nail bat when he speaks to said boyfriend#You both think about it for a long time meanwhile Amelia is asleep in her room with drool running out of her mouth hugging a stuffed animal#Anyways Steve nation we up??? This has been drafted for awhile but not posted but I am inspired#And I saw this and went oh yeah post that#So here it is...for u...on this fine Friday early morning#Jade is talking#steve harrington x reader#Steve harrington x you#Steve Harrington x y/n#Steve Harrington/you#Steve Harrington/reader#steve harrington x female!reader
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mage viktor discourse again on twitter and all i can say in my little corner over here once again is, I don't know why the entire fandom takes it as canon that mage Viktor failed to save every world he manipulated.
Canon does not provide evidence of this. This is fanon speculation. It's a fine headcanon to have, but everyone talks about it like it's canon when it isn't. Canon is ambiguous about the outcome of the timelines mage Viktor altered. The little nods we are given point, in my opinion, towards the opposite conclusion, that he successfully averted destruction.
I've written meta on this before but in summary:
1) 'In all timelines, in all possibilities' is worded precisely, it's not 'out of all timelines'; the implication is that every time, Jayce brings Viktor back from the brink, not just in our timeline. 'Only you' doesn't refer to our timeline's Jayce, it refers to all Jayces. Jayce always brings him home. If Viktor continuously put the fate of each timeline in Jayce's hands and Jayce failed over and over, I don't think he'd say those words. And the way he says them matters. His words are tinged with wonder, not sorrow. As if over and over again, he is shown that Jayce saves him, and it continues to amaze him. He doesn't sound defeated, like this is the next in a long line of Jayces he's sending off to die. The feeling is that Viktor's faith in Jayce has not been misplaced.
2) If mage Viktor doomed every timeline, there would be hundreds (or more) mage Viktors. All running around manipulating timelines. I highly doubt the writers wanted to get into that kind of sticky situation. The tragedy of mage Viktor is that he is singular. Alone. Burdened with the responsibility of the multiverse. The emotional gut punch of his fate is ruined if other timelines led to the same outcome, and from a practical standpoint, having multiple reality-bending omniscient mages would rip apart the fabric of the arcane.
There are other points, such as there being only one corrupted Mercury Hammer and our Jayce is the only one to receive it, and the fact that if mage Viktor is as omniscient as he is implied to be, he could easily step back into other timelines and correct course, because it's highly unlikely he could sit still and watch things go down in flames. But these things can be argued elsewhere.
While I love conversations about mage Viktor's motives and selfishness vs altruism, the writers & artbook have expressed that Jayce and Viktor care greatly about Runeterra and want to fix their mistakes to save it, and that their reconciliation is symbolic of Piltover and Zaun coming together as well. Yes, they make disastrous decisions towards each other, making choices for the other or without the other, which has negative consequences for their relationship and for Runeterra - but I think fandom pushes their selfishness even past what's canon sometimes, as if their entire goal hadn't always been to selflessly help the world around them. Their final reconciliation is about bridging the gap that grew between them - the pain and grief and secrets, betraying themselves and each other - to mutually choose each other openly and honestly. Part of the beauty of their story, as expressed by the creators, is that in their final moments, they chose each other and took responsibility for their actions by sacrificing themselves to end what they started, together - and that choosing each other saved the world. TPTB have stated this - that Jayce and Viktor are the glue holding civilization together, and when they come back to each other, they can restore balance. It's when they're apart, when they hurt each other and miscommunicate, when they abandon their commitment to each other and their dream, that the greater world suffers. Their strife is mirrored in the story-world at large.
Mage Viktor is framed as a solitary penitent figure, damned to an eternity of atoning for his mistakes. He paid the ultimate price and now is forced to live his personal nightmare of exactly what he was trying to avoid for himself with the glorious evolution. The narrative clues we're given point more in the direction that he saves timelines rather than dooms them. If Viktor's actions kept killing Jayce, the very boy he couldn't bear to not save each time, it would undermine these narrative choices. Yes, Viktor couldn't stand to live in a world where he never meets Jayce, so he ensures it keeps happening. But in that same breath, he couldn't bear to see a world where his actions continue to destroy Jayce and destroy Runeterra. His entire arc in s2 is born of his selfless desire to help humanity, help individual people. He would not lightly destroy entire worlds. That's his original grief multiplied a thousandfold, and narratively it would lessen the impact of the one, true loss he did suffer, his own Jayce. It wouldn't make sense for him to be alright with damning other timelines to suffer the same catastrophic tragedy that created him. I mean, maybe I'm delusional here, but is that not the entire point? Because that's what I took away when I watched the show.
As I said, I love discussions about mage Viktor, as there's a lot to play with. All I wish is that the fandom at large would not just assume or accept the Mage Viktor Dooms Every Timeline idea as canon, when there is nothing in the actual canon that confirms this. Maybe people need to just, go back and rewatch the actual episode, to recall how mage Viktor is presented to us, and what it's implied we're supposed to take away from his scenes, and separate that from the layers of headcanon the fandom has constructed.
#arcane#mage viktor#jayvik#viktor arcane#meta#this is like. along the same vein as 'jayce knew all along viktor would go to the hexgates during the final battle'#like that is a headcanon. we don't know that!!#the actual scene could be read either way and i know when i watched it that's not how i interpreted it#and i doubt it's how most casual viewers intrepeted it#fandom gets so deep into itself after a show ends that you really have to just. rewatch the show to recalibrate yourself lol#for all that people bicker about mage viktor yall dont include him in your fics v much lol#anyway i love mage viktor and he's probably my favorite version of viktor <3#i just wish fandom stopped insisting on a monolithic view of canon#and the idea that mage viktor fucked over hundreds of timelines to collect data points like a scientist is just#rubs me the wrong way as a scientist lol#you do realize that scientists don't treat everything in life like a science experiment right?#it's about inquisitiveness and curiosity. not 'i will approach this emotional thing from a cold and calculating standpoint'#viktor has never been cold and calculating. he's consistently driven by emotion in the show jfc please rewatch canon#i just think that people would benefit from a surface level reading once in a while lol#sometimes fandom digs so far into the minutiae that they forget the overarching takeaways that the story presents#assuming there must be some hidden meaning that sometimes (like this) is decided to be the literal opposite of what's presented#rewatch mage viktor's scenes and ask yourself if 'deranged destroyer of worlds' is really what the show was trying to have you take away#then again there seems to be a faction of this fandom that for some absurd reason thinks jayce was forced to stay and die with viktor#so i guess media illiteracy can't be helped for some lmao#i post these things on here because my twitter posts get literally 10 views thanks algorithm#so the chunk of the fandom i really want to see this will not#but i must speak my truth
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We shouldn't have watched that movie before bed, was the thought that popped into Karen's mind as she followed closely behind her wife out of their bedroom. The floor boards creak as Hen and Karen stops at the end of the hallway. They pause as a large lumpish shadow cast from the kitchen light rushes out of view, followed with what sounded like a clatter of dishes falling together. Karen leaned closer into Hen, "Did you see that?" Hen's hands gripped tightly around the baseball bat, preparing herself for what might be waiting for her in the kitchen. "Sure did."
#911#hen wilson#karen wilson#henren#denny wilson#mara driskell#mara wilson#y'know for when she's adopted#or so help me 911!! 🗡️#I wrote a little drabble just so y'all can have a lil more context this time#and i'll probably never do it again lol#anyway i think we should have more spooky eps from 911#silly late night shenanigans#kids scaring their parents#maybe even jee-yun speaking to ghosts#y'know cuz her mom lol#toad rambles#flamingtoadart
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magenta smoothie 4 breakfast, vibrant vase of tulips 4 my gf, black dragon dog 4 sharing the couch with, and a big stack of notebooks 4 writing
#i love my life <333#how’s everyone’s morning going?#trying to Take Care in the midst of this nightmare that is the united states#the grief is never ending !!!!!!!!#but i am trying very very very hard not to let despair win#and so i made a smoothie#w lots and lots of mango and pineapple and a couple huge sweet cherries#and i’m tucking myself away to write and knit for the day without expectation#i’m not even dressed yet and it’s almost 9:30#i got sleep like real sleep for the first time in a week last night too#and so i’m feeling a little better abt resting so much#the ptsd has been pretty rough recently#in that way where i’m replaying my worst memories on a screen in my head and can’t stop it#it demands my attention unless i’m watching tv and knitting and reading all at once LOL#like turning everything off and facing it while lying down trying to sleep is . harrowing#it’s awful#BUT i knocked myself out w sleep meds last night and woke up feeling a lot more capable of regulating after a week of staying up until 4:30#so#i’d say things are on the up and up#we got a pretty little silver dusting of new snow again last night#and the SUN is out!!!!#big blue sky#no thick gray cloud blanket to speak of#anyway if you read all this for some reason#tell me how your morning has been#in my comments or dms or asks#i’d really love to know :)#love you!!#personal
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No one understands guilt better than a girl with emotionally immature parents
#personal#actually bpd#bpd#bpd vent#actually borderline#bpd thoughts#vent#actually traumatized#actually cptsd#emotionally immature parents#like my dad just stole my moms phone AGAIN to text me some BULLSHIT#as he always does. and I was mean because wtf#and now I feel bad cause he's trying to be nice even though 6 seconds ago he called me a spoiled asshole#I told him that if we never speak again he can look at the last chat we had where he basically called me a useless bitch#soooooooo ����♀️ unfortunately.....he never learns. I told him he should have never called me a stupid bitch when i was 5 yrs old#because that STUCK with me. so hard. and his response was well maybe you were being one#excuse ME?
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turned on the alcaraz replay in the background because i saw he'd lost (look we all have our vices) and heard the commentators mention a name i wasn't expecting
#in doha this week... one day a man will be seen at a women's match and we will all have a heart attack from shock#if he ever shows up in sinner's box i'll never speak his name again btw#anyway nice that he now knows my lil sibling's current favourite tennis player ig (obviously not alcaraz or i wouldn't have a sibling)
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Trying to write about how Kyoko and Homura being religious affects their characters but I'm not smart enough to make it coherent.
#im speaking purely from the experience of someone who was raised christian in brazil#but like#there's this weird emphasis on focusing on your duty to serve god#and homura does just that#she leaves everything behind to live for Madoka#at first to save her. then to honor her sacrifice. and then to save her again#kyoko on the other hand?#seems to have abandoned the idea of duty completely#and whike yes part of it is just a persona and she's actually pretty kind once you get to know her#she doesn't have something to devote herself to like Homura does#she lives for herself#something to note is that she talks to god before dying#but we never see homura praying or doing anything similar as far as i remember#implying kyoko believes in god but still chooses to live her life in a way that goes against her religious upbringing#and homura probably doesn't believe in god but still lives in this devoted way often assiciated with religion#except its towards madoka instead of the god she was taught about in her catholic school#literally 2 insane extremes of religious trauma#idk im rambling#puella magi madoka magica#madoka magica#pmmm#kyoko sakura#homura akemi#religion#religious trauma#pmmm analysis
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