#and we usually only ever texted and not hung out physically | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starboy-sirius · 8 months ago

Text

without touching his skin (how can i be guilty as sin?)

jegulus modern au (with a sprinkle of wolfstar) based off this post by @starchaserdreams because i saw it and couldn't not write it (hope that's okay!!) 7642 words | read it on ao3 here! |

✧˖*°࿐

James laughs at his best friend Sirius, who is staring at his phone in horror, his eyes wide and unblinking as he looks at the text James just sent from his phone. His mouth is open and he looks ridiculous. He’s likely to catch flies at this rate and James can’t help but cackle at his shocked face.

It’s no secret that Sirius has been crushing on their friend Remus for the past year, following him around with puppy eyes and hanging off his every word. James has told him time and time again to make his move, that Remus won’t be horrible to him if he confesses because when has Remus ever been horrible to either of them? Never. So he wouldn’t so much as hurt a hair on Sirius’ head if the boy confessed.

James also has it on good authority that Remus has fancied Sirius for nearly two years now, so he isn’t setting Sirius up for failure by urging him to confess. Of course, he’s sworn to secrecy by both of them so it’s not like he can spill either of their secrets to the other, even if it would help things along immensely. But Sirius being Sirius wouldn’t stop whining about how he wishes he could just confess already.

James was only trying to make it easier for him.

So it has come to this. James grabbed Sirius’ phone before he could realise what he was doing, and sent Remus a text saying hey can we talk? I need to tell you something. It’s genius if you ask James because he’s done half the work for him. Making the initial move is always the most nerve wracking and James has gotten that out of Sirius’ way.

Honestly, James isn’t sure why Sirius isn’t on his knees thanking him. Where’s the excitement? Usually James would be engulfed in a hug by now.

“James, what the fuck?” Sirius whispers, eyes glued to his phone at the very unsendable text message.

“It’s a good thing, mate! Now you just have to confess and boom! Dating,” James grins, patting Sirius’ thigh and leaning back into the beanbag he’s currently sitting in with an air of victory to him.

Finally, Sirius lifts his eyes from the phone and tosses it across the room. He serves James a deadly stare. “James.”

Feeling apprehension dance along his spine, James sits up straighter. Sirius doesn’t say anything else, only stares at James with a look that gets more intense the longer it goes on. James fidgets uncomfortably. “Um, Sirius? You okay there, bud?”

“James,” Sirius repeats unblinkingly. “Because I love you, I am going to give you a ten second head start, but if you don’t run right now I am going to kill you.”

Alarmed, James jolts in the beanbag and tenses his legs as his flight mode activates. He wavers, mainly because he’s unsure as to whether Sirius is joking or not, but he gets ready just in case. “Really? I was only trying to help you out!”

“Really,” Sirius confirms gravely. “Ready? Countdown starts now.”

“Wait, Sirius—”

“Ten—”

“I really don’t think this is nece—”

“Nine—”

“I was only help—”

“Eight—”

“Fuck, okay,” James scrambles upwards and dashes out of Sirius’ bedroom.

The positive to this situation is that Sirius’ house is fucking enormous. He’s a little on the richer side, which isn’t a huge shock because James is fairly wealthy himself, but Sirius moved into this place with his younger brother and his eldest cousin because his parents were verbally and physically abusing them. His cousin took them in immediately and Sirius helped buy them this place with the money that was left to him by a relative.

The house, if one could call it that, is ornately decorated and very tasteful. It is more of a manor, James thinks as he rushes up a double staircase and onto the next floor’s landing. There are many paintings hung on the wall, some of them James knows were painted by Regulus, Sirius’ younger brother, and some are the works of Sirius’ niece, who also lives with them. Even the toddler’s paintings are encased in the same intricate, golden frames as some of the priceless antique ones and it makes James smile, even as he’s racing for his life.

He can’t hear Sirius counting anymore but he knows that the boy must have stopped by now and is on the hunt for him. Honestly, James thinks he’s being a little dramatic but that’s an average day for Sirius, and so James thanks his lucky stars that Sirius hasn’t decided to go truly overboard. This is actually quite mild for him.

A sudden bang from downstairs has James panicking and diving into the first door he comes across. It’s steamy when he first enters, a thick haze of heat hitting him in the face and James tries not to choke on the sudden onslaught. The smell is delicious, however, and James finds himself moving further into the room as his nose leads him to the pleasant scent. As he moves further into the ridiculously large room, James identifies that it smells of lavender, bergamot and pine.

He wishes he could bottle it and spray it on his pillow so that he could get a guaranteed night of good sleep, because holy fuck does he want to ingest this smell right now.

The sound of rushing water vaguely registers in his mind because suddenly it ceases, James now coming to the dawning realisation that the room he’s in is a bathroom and that there is definitely someone in here with him. Someone who was showering not seconds ago. Which means that whoever is in the shower-tub combo is probably about to step out of it. Naked. The person in the shower is going to step out of it dripping wet and completely naked.

It could be Andromeda, Sirius’ cousin, or her husband Ted, or Regulus, Sirius’ brother. James doesn’t know which option is worse, they’re all awful for different reasons. Ah yes, a dripping wet, naked Regulus, how awful indeed, his brain supplies and James feels his skin flush.

Listen, okay. James has known Sirius since they were eleven and met at some fancy, rich boarding school that all their ancestors had apparently gone to, which meant they had to as well. So he’s known him for quite a while, given that James is now twenty-one and at another prestigious university that their ancestors also went to. This means that he’s known Regulus for that time as a result of his unbreakably close friendship with Sirius.

At first, James had thought Regulus was adorable with his cherub cheeks and his little curls. He looked like a child that would be modelling for kids clothing brands, but when he opened his mouth? Goddamn, he was such a little shit. He’d taken one look at James and spat the most unhinged insults James had ever heard. At age ten, no less! It had knocked James down a peg initially, but truthfully? James had become a little enamoured with Sirius’ spiteful younger brother.

Sirius had apologised profusely to James, worrying that his little brother had put him off being best friends. He rushed to explain that it was a result of the way they’d been raised, which had then prompted the conversation about their parents which had James equally furious as he was heartbroken. James promised him that he had nothing to worry about, that he liked Regulus and his biting comments. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, James told him before crushing him in a tight hug.

So James had grown up with Sirius and therefore Regulus, and he’s watched the younger boy blossom in his own ways. He’d never hung out with them much at boarding school, having his own group of equally sarcastic and sharp-minded friends who looked at James like he was prey they could hunt and destroy. Despite their less than friendly demeanors, James always tried to talk to them when he could, wanting to get on with them because he cared for Regulus and they were his best friends. Openly, his favourite was Pandora, who was always the most receptive to him. Secretly, his second favourite was Barty because the boy had a wicked sense of humour when it wasn’t aimed at James with his incessant need to take the piss out of him.

Regulus and his friends had followed in their footsteps and gone to the same university, which James knows Sirius was secretly happy about because it meant that he could spend more time with him before they got jobs and lives of their own. A part of James was happy too but he hadn’t wanted to look into why exactly that was.

Of course, James knew deep down why exactly it was.

Watching Regulus grow up from someone he classified as ‘Sirius’ little brother’ to Regulus, a young man who had his own name, his own personality, dreams and desires. A young man whom James could no longer deny to himself that he found effortlessly attractive.

Which left James with the problem he has now: fancying Regulus. James is well aware that Regulus is his own person, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still Sirius’ brother, and James knows that Sirius would throw the hissy fit to end all hissy fits if James reveals that he fancies him. So James pines silently for the boy who throws insults at him like its second nature, like it’s as easy as breathing. It only makes James like him all the more, because the majority of people in James’ life trip over themselves to please him, but not Regulus. Regulus would rather set his hair on fire than be nice to James, he knows.

Speaking of his hair, goddamn.

Still curly as ever, only it’s longer now and it wafts elegantly around the nape of his neck, some parts of it wavier than curly. It looks like a halo, James thinks. He’s an angel. A fire spitting angel, which James thinks is the best kind. He’s elegant and lean and perfect, his skin like a doll’s and his lips pouty and shaped like Cupid’s arrow. James would do anything to kiss him.

But James is a gentleman and he will not try anything on Regulus because he is Sirius’ brother, and he knows it would only complicate things between everyone. He also has no idea whether Regulus even likes him like that, everything seems to point to the negative considering they can’t have a conversation with Regulus insulting him at every opportunity. James thinks he’s rather insane to enjoy the way Regulus’ words cut into him, and he knows that just because he’s apparently gone mad doesn’t mean Regulus has. It doesn’t mean Regulus enjoys their verbal sparring as James does.

James is a gentleman. He isn’t going to attempt anything with Regulus, end of story.

He wishes he could remember that as a creamy, pale leg appears from behind the shower curtain and his brain completely short circuits. As the leg touches the ground an equally creamy and pale arm darts out to grab at the forest green towel hanging up on the wall, and then his entire body is out and James only just misses being flashed as the towel is brought up over the man’s crotch.

Regulus’ crotch, because that is Regulus who has just gotten out of the shower. Regulus, who was naked a moment ago. Who is still naked now technically. He hasn’t even wrapped the towel around himself yet, is only holding it over his crotch and James feels like he’s going to faint. He's so lightheaded. He wants to believe it’s the steam but he can’t bring himself to pretend that it’s not all that exposed skin in front of him.

Regulus hasn’t noticed he’s there yet as he brings the towel up to his face to wipe the water from his eyes. His skin is tinged pink from the heat of the water and James briefly wonders what it would be like to mark that skin, to leave it mottled with purples and reds and teeth marks. He grows hotter at every passing thought.

He’s broken from his reverie when Regulus attempts to bring the towel up to his hair to dry the edges briefly. James knows that he only does it a little because the towel is too heavy on his curls and usually he uses an old t-shirt of Sirius’ that he stole, but all this information flies out of the window with what’s left of his melting brain as Regulus raises the towel high enough that it threatens to expose him.

James lets out a rather embarrassing, strangled squeak at the prospect and is met with a frozen Regulus, who pauses and locks eyes with him, the steely grey going wide before narrowing playfully. He brings the towel down slowly, far too slowly for someone who is naked and vulnerable and naked, James thinks.

Regulus wraps the towel around his waist, slinging it so low on his hips that James thinks he’s going to go into cardiac arrest, and leans back against the wall behind him. He smirks at James as he runs a head through his curls. Beads of water drip from his hair, down his neck and tantalisingly down his torso, traversing the divots of his toned abdomen. James follows a single drop from his prominent collarbones, past his pink nipples and down, down, down his lovely stomach. Just as the droplet is falling into the trail of hair underneath his belly button, James is brought back into the present by a teasing cough.

Snapping his eyes back up to Regulus’ face, he finds that the boy is already looking at him with a single raised eyebrow. James feels his face flush and he prays that he doesn’t look like a tomato. Especially since Regulus is standing there like a Greek god, like someone who would be honoured by a multitude of sculptures that people like James would pay exorbitant amounts of money to stare at.

“Hi, James,” Regulus purrs, his eyes never leaving James’ face.

“Hi,” James replies faintly, his voice slightly croaky from where it’s mostly been open since Regulus stepped out of the shower.

Regulus grins like a shark but softens it when his tongue pokes out to wet his bottom lip. James is attached to the movement like a limpet to the side of a ship. “Did you step in here so that you could catch me naked, James?”

“What?! No! Of course not! It was an accident, I swear,” James proclaims, arms waving around like a madman as he tries to remain calm. He can’t believe Regulus caught him in his bathroom, naked from his shower, and is just lounging against the wall with a permanent smirk on his face.

James feels incredibly out of depth.

Regulus hums, a delicate hand coming up to trace at his collarbone and play with the water droplets there. He tilts his neck to give himself more access and huffs out a laugh as James’ eyes follow the movement religiously. “That’s a shame.”

James nods, blindly agreeing without really listening, intently focused on the longer finger as it trails back and forth on Regulus’ marble-like skin. James wants to bite it. He snaps back to reality when his brain catches on to what Regulus has said. “Wait, what?”

“You know,” Regulus changes the topic, bringing his hand down to rest at the knot of the towel and James feels like his heart is going to give up on him. And that his dick is going to become very noticeable in his trousers. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush this much. What’s gotten you so worked up, James?”

James wants to curse him because he knows what’s gotten him so worked up, the little shit. James was wrong, Regulus is not an angel, he's the devil incarnate and he refuses to stand here and be embarrassed by him. Not long ago were the days where James used to tease him until he was beaming a bright red. James doesn’t like how the tables have turned.

Distantly, James hears a victorious shout followed by what is definitely Sirius yelling his name like a madman. Regulus’ eyes flicker from James to the bathroom door and the latter realises that it’s the first time Regulus’ eyes have left him since he realised James was in here too.

James sends him a sheepish smile as he begins to walk himself backward, as if Regulus is a wild animal he needs to keep his eyes on at all times lest he turn his back and allow himself to be attacked. “Well, that’s my cue! Lovely seeing you again, Regulus.”

Regulus’ eyes twinkle as he runs a hand over his wet curls. “Truly a pleasure, James. Try not to make a habit of following me into the bathroom when I’m wet and naked, hm?”

The laugh that forces its way out of James’ mouth is strained and bordering on hysterical as he tries not to trip on his way out. He’s still looking at Regulus, who’s staring at him like he’s a meal he wants to devour, and he can’t even find himself able to speak English. Garbled noises are the only thing that he’s able to come up with and it only makes Regulus’ smirk ever more shark-like. With one last look at the enticing boy in front of him, James fumbles with the door handle and practically sprints out of the bathroom.

The alluring pull of Regulus’ silver eyes doesn't leave his mind.

✧˖*°࿐

When James makes it back to Sirius’ bedroom on the floor below, Sirius is right where James left him, only that he’s sprawled out on his bed on his stomach, legs swishing back and forth with one hand twirling his wavy hair. James feels like he’s entered a rom-com.

“Er, Pads?” He asks, bewildered by the image he’s presented with. The nickname is a long standing one that James can’t even remember the origins for, only that he, Sirius and their two friends Remus and Peter all have corresponding animal nicknames.

“Prongs!” Sirius bellows as he jumps up and throws himself into James’ arms, his legs wrapping around his waist.

Huffing at the sudden weight, James pulls away to look at Sirius’ face. “Hey, sexy. Fancy meeting you here.”

Sirius laughs, throwing his head back. When he returns his gaze to James it’s mischievous. “You know I love you, Jamie, but I’m afraid we cannot continue flirting like this. You see, I’m about to be a taken man.”

James almost drops him. “Oh shit, it worked?!”

“Well, almost,” Sirius informs as he unwraps his legs and pulls James to the bed with him. “Just as I was about to come and kill you, he responded saying that he also had something to tell me. I didn’t want to do it over the phone though, so I’ve invited him here. He’s on his way.”

“Fuck yeah!” James shouts and piles on top of Sirius, planting wet kisses all over his face as Sirius laughs and wraps his limbs around him like an octopus. James begins to dig his fingers into Sirius’ sides, delighting in the breathless giggles he lets out. “Hey, I’m just trying to get my fill, alright? My best mate is about to get a boyfriend.”

“James!” Breathless and bordering on hiccups, Sirius manoeuvres James so that they’re laying side to side facing each other. “James, if it all goes wrong I need you to beat Moony up for me.”

“What?! I can’t beat Remus up! Have you seen him angry? He’d kill me!” James exclaims, wrapping an arm around Sirius’ waist.

“James, you have to! You’re my best friend, it’s basically the law,” Sirius whines, snuggling into the crook of James’ neck.

Sensing the undertones of the conversation, James quietens down. Amongst all the joking and laughing, James can tell that Sirius is scared to confess his feelings for Remus. He can’t help but find it sweet because he has nothing to worry about, but James isn’t going to spoil that for him.

“Listen to me, Sirius. You’re going to be okay. Remus isn’t going to hurt you or be mean to you, and even if he miraculously is then we’ll sic Regulus on him, okay?” James strokes a hand through Sirius’ hair, speaking softly.

Sirius seems to mull this over, humming as he does so, and comes to a positive conclusion. “Oh, that’s brilliant. I mean, Regulus quite likes Remus so it might be a little hard to convince him, but if he sees how upset I am then I’m sure he’ll oblige. Good thinking, Prongs.”

They lay there silently after that, neither of them speaking but rather enjoying the moment they’re sharing in each other’s arms. It took a while for Sirius to get to this stage with James because of the way he was raised. James was always showered with love and affection from his parents, growing into a very physically affectionate person, whereas Sirius was the complete opposite. Love wasn’t given freely if at all in his family home, and the only other person with whom he shared affectionate physical touch was Regulus. Both brothers took a while to get used to James’ love language (one of them, anyway), but Sirius was the first to succumb to his cuddles.

“Hey,” Sirius breaks the silence. “I’m probably going to talk to Remus in the garden because the flowers he helped plant are blooming and I want to show him. Do you mind staying up here by yourself? You can always go off and find Regulus if you get lonely.”

The thought brings James back to the bathroom and all that creamy skin on display, beckoning him like a blank canvas desperate to be brought to life by some paint. James never thought of himself as an artist but right now he would gladly take to Regulus’ body with his mouth as the brush.

Holy fuck, he cannot be thinking of Regulus like this when he is literally wrapped around his older brother. Sirius would surely kill him if he knew what James was thinking about. Would hunt him down to the ends of the earth if he knew that James wants to kiss Regulus until his lips are red and swollen, and wants to mark every inch of his body until no one questions that Regulus is his. He wants to have Regulus whining and panting underneath him, or on top of him, or quite literally in any position, in any place and at any time. James isn’t fussy, he’ll take Regulus however he can get him.

Right, totally failed at not thinking filthy thoughts of Regulus when he’s cuddled up to Sirius. Shit.

“Jamie? Are you alright?”

“Yes!” James nearly shouts and clears his throat when Sirius pulls away to look at him funny. “Perfectly well, thanks Pads.”

Before Sirius can object, there’s a knock at the door followed by the doorbell, and both boys shoot up so quickly that they trip over one another and fall into a heap on the floor. For a moment all they do is lie there as they contemplate getting up. They’re groaning, elbows and knees in places where those should never be, and James is pushing at Sirius’ shoulders in an attempt to make him get up.

“I’ve changed my mind, I can’t do it. You go and answer the door, Jamie. Tell him I’ve fallen ill.”

James rolls his eyes at Sirius who flops onto his back and throws an arm over his face like a fainting maiden. “Really, Sirius? What am I supposed to tell him you’ve come down with in fifteen minutes?”

Sirius contemplates it for a second before he’s snapping his fingers. “I know! We’ll tell him that it’s something you’ve come down with and I’ve caught it because it’s contagious. The whole house is on lockdown. It’s perfect!”

“Pads, that is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. There’s no way Remus will believe that.”

Huffing, Sirius throws his arms over his head and practically melts into the floor. “Well, I don’t see you coming up with any genius ideas!”

“Here’s one,” James responds sarcastically. “How about you go down and answer the door like a normal person? Take him to the garden to look at his flowers and then confess? You know, the original plan?”

Sirius looks at him. “James, that is just ridiculous.”

“Right.”

“Dumbest idea you’ve ever had.”

James watches Sirius as he stares up at the high ceiling, fondness creeping over his features. “Sirius, do you not think you’re going to hurt Remus if you turn him away now? After you’ve said you need to tell him something?”

The doorbell rings a second time.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Sirius turns pleading eyes on James. “I can’t get the door, James. I can’t.”

James nods encouragingly. “You can, Sirius.”

“I can’t.”

The two of them are interrupted by the sounds of feet padding down the stairs. Unfortunately, James knows the sounds of those feet, and has practically committed them to memory. Regulus doesn’t enter the bedroom but he does call past the door, “I’ll get it, then, despite being a whole floor above. Tossers.”

Sirius and James stare at each other with wide eyes before they’re scrambling to get up, yelling out to Regulus, a cacophony of deep voices shouting up and down the stairs at each other.

“No, we’ll get it!”

“Reggie, you little shit, come back here!”

They bound down the stairs, practically flying past them as they race to get to the door before Regulus. It’s not like they’re worried Regulus will say or not anything harmful, as Sirius said Regulus is surprisingly fond of Remus and often seeks him out for intellectual conversation, or so he says. It’s just that Regulus is well aware of Sirius’ feelings toward Remus and he makes it his life’s mission to make every possible hint known to man.

James laughs wildly as they race against Regulus to get to the front door, Sirius cursing at the size of the house as they go, and once they reach the final set of stairs James hops on the bannister to slide down the the bottom.

It’s in vain, no matter how fun it was, because Regulus is already opening the door to a bored looking Remus. His expression changes dramatically when he sees the shit-eating grin on Regulus’ face, along with a panting James who looks wild with his hair sticking up everywhere, and Sirius who is a third of the way down the steps and clinging to the bannister as if he’s going to faint.

“Er, is this a bad time?” Remus asks, eyes darting between the three of them. He looks faintly amused.

Sirius shouts, “Yes, this is a terrible time, actually!”

Just as Regulus croons, “This is a wonderful time, Remus, do come in.”

The younger boy practically drags him in and Sirius’ eyes burn at the contact of their hands. James grins at Remus and brings him into a hug that is quickly reciprocated. “Hey, Moony.”

“James, good to see you,” Remus murmurs before he pulls away to stare at Sirius who still hasn’t moved from the stairs. Remus ignores the snickering from Regulus and walks towards him. “Hi, Sirius.”

Sirius feels as though he’s going to faint. God, Remus is just so pretty. He’s all caramel hair and tan skin, scars from a childhood accident crossing from his eye, over his nose and to the corner of his lip, and Sirius hasn’t seen anyone as beautiful as him. He’s tall, towering over Sirius and making him feel as though he could be devoured in one bite. Sirius would let him. He would let Remus do anything he wanted, even if it meant consuming him whole.

“Remus,” he breathes, heart pounding as Remus offers his hand out to him and he takes it, letting Remus assist him in walking down the stairs.

Once he’s at the bottom he has to look up to meet Remus’ eyes, crinkled and warm, and he still hasn’t let go of his hand. In fact, Remus’ thumb is caressing his hand, the touch gentle and loving. Sirius is definitely going to faint.

“Something you wanted to tell me, sweetheart?” Remus asks quietly, but it doesn’t matter because Regulus still hears it and fails to smother his laughter.

Before James realises what he’s doing, he’s bringing one hand up to cup the boy’s nape and the other presses firmly against his mouth, cutting any sounds off and muffling them under his large palm. Regulus’ eyes flash with promise and danger, and James feels it dance along his skin like lightning. He doesn’t say anything as they continue to stare at each other, but it’s okay because now Remus and Sirius can continue without Regulus teasing them.

“Not here,” Sirius sends a glare towards Regulus, who is paying him no mind now that James has his hands on him. “Do you want to go to the garden? Your flowers we planted are blooming. We can talk there.”

Intertwining their fingers, Remus nods with a smile. “I would love to.”

The two of them make their way towards the garden, but Sirius turns back at the last second, looking at James and Regulus who are still staring at one another. “James? You okay, mate?”

Snapping out of the haze, James flies away from Regulus as though he’s been bitten. He has to look at his hand to check that Regulus didn’t actually nip him. The boy sends that infuriatingly hot smirk his way, like he knows every dirty thing that James has ever thought about him, and James can feel himself beginning to sweat.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” James responds, voice abnormally high pitched. “Think I’m going to go and play video games in your room.”

“Alright, mate! Have fun,” Sirius chirps before he’s dragging a sappy looking Remus along with him.

The silence in the foyer is so loaded that James thinks he could fire a gun with it. He’s instantly brought back to half an hour ago when he was in the bathroom, steam clouding his judgement and Regulus leaning back against the wall, water dripping down his lithe body looking like the figment of James’ wildest dreams and worst intentions.

It’s clear to him now, he wants to do the dirtiest, most filthy things to Regulus.

It’s also clear that he can’t do them without possibly ruining his friendship with Sirius, so he nods once to Regulus and attempts to make his way back upstairs. Regulus’ voice stops him like a siren’s call, and James is but a lowly sailor lost at sea and begging for a miracle. “Wouldn’t you rather play with me, James?”

It’s all he can do not to groan aloud. “Regulus,” he strains, voice tight.

“It’s okay,” Regulus purrs, stalking forward like a predator until his front is up against James’ back. The older boy sucks in a sharp breath. “I know you want to, James. Just let go. Give in to me.”

The thought is so tempting. All James wants to do is turn around and press his lips to Regulus’ in a smouldering kiss. He wants to walk him backwards until he’s shoving Regulus harshly into a wall, licking his way into the boy’s mouth and pressing a thigh against his crotch.

James whines at the thought, and he can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed at the sound when he feels Regulus smirk against his neck. He gasps when Regulus’ lips brush the sensitive skin of his neck, “Regulus.”

“I know you want me, James,” Regulus taunts, his naughty fingers brushing against James’ hips. “Turn around. You can have me.”

It’s the press of his soft lips against his neck that forcibly pulls James from the moment, eyes snapping open so quickly that he doesn't recall ever closing them. He practically jumps away from Regulus, the laughter that bubbles from his throat sounding more hysterical and breathless by the second.

He doesn’t turn around as he shouts, “Have to go! Great to see you again, Reg!”

James makes it two floors up in record speed, diving into Sirius’ double bed and groaning loudly. He ignores the aching problem in his trousers and tries to think of anything else. It’s a while before he can bring himself to unbury himself from the pillows of Sirius’ bed and actually play a game like he said.

All he can think about is that he would much rather be playing with Regulus and how he won’t allow himself to.

✧˖*°࿐

It’s the middle of the night, sometime past one o’clock, and James is wide awake.

After he’d spent most of the day playing video games alone, Sirius and Remus had entered his bedroom with matching grins and shiny red lips. James took one look at them before he lept up from the bean bag and pulled them both into a tight hug. He took great pleasure in telling both of them that he knew their feelings were reciprocated and that sitting watching them both pine was beyond painful, but that he’s happy they’re together now.

Sirius looked incredibly put off that James had kept the secret from him, because they don’t do secrets, which in turn made James feel guilty because he was keeping his secret desires for his brother from him. James tries to reason with himself that he’s keeping it from him for his own good. After all, it isn’t like James is going to act on his feelings, so it’s never going to come to light. James is going to die with this secret.

Remus looked pleased at the news that James had kept his secret, and James had pouted at him because really, Moony? Do you have such little faith in me? Remus had rolled his eyes and pulled James into his side.

They spent the rest of the day talking about everything and anything, as they so usually do, but this time it was more geared towards Sirius and Remus and their endless yearning for one another. They played video games and spoke of the literature Remus was currently reading that James took an interest in. He'd recently read Pride and Prejudice and loved it, so Remus was giving him more recommendations every day.

Once their conversation featured more yawning than words, Sirius had dragged the two of them into his bed and snuggled up facing Remus, pulling James close behind him and sighing in content when both boys wrapped their arms around his middle. Remus rolled his eyes at him before getting comfortable, a small yet happy smile on his face. James had snuggled right in, comforted by the familiar smell of Sirius’ shampoo and Remus’ cologne.

He thought he’d sleep through the night soundly, but he was wrong.

So now he lies awake on his back, staring at the ceiling because if he doesn’t then he’ll end up staring at the way Remus and Sirius are curled perfectly into one another like puzzle pieces. At some point, Sirius had turned around and Remus had pulled him tightly into the curve of his body, his face burying into Sirius’ neck almost possessively.

James hadn’t felt like he was particularly welcome after that.

He sighs dramatically, very happy for his friends but unable to stop the loneliness from creeping in. Fidgeting, he tries to get comfortable but ultimately he knows that it’s going to take a while for him to fall asleep again, if he ever will. Once he’s had enough of pretending to sleep, James carefully lifts the blanket from his body and sneaks out of the bed, cautious not to wake his two friends up in the process.

He shuffles from the bed, careful not to stand on the floorboards that squeak or trip over the bean bags he knows they didn’t tidy up. Having been to Sirius’ house since he moved in years ago, treating it as his second home, James knows all the spots in the house that make noises, like the spot just in front of Sirius’ bedroom door, the fifth and eighth step in the staircase up to Regulus’ floor, and the three in a row on the staircase down to the kitchen. James hops over those but miscalculates due to his tiredness and accidentally steps on the third one.

He winces as he pauses, waiting to hear the telltale sign that someone has woken up, and breathes a sigh of relief when he doesn’t hear anything. The house is still slumbering, as James wishes he was, which he’s thankful for because little Dora is a nightmare when she gets woken up. James completely understands because he, too, gets incredibly grumpy if he’s woken up randomly in the night. Sirius jokes that it’s the only time he isn’t a ray of sunshine.

Manoeuvring his way quietly down the rest of the stairs, James pads into the kitchen and goes about getting himself a glass of water. He thinks he could find his way around this kitchen even if he was drunk, blindfolded and under some temporary spell of amnesia.

Leaning against the counter, James admires the way the moon shines in through the windows. It’s full, James having to squint to make sure it is actually a full moon, and it looks ethereal sitting in the dark blue of the midnight sky. Looking up at it, James wonders if the moon ever gets lonely hanging in the sky by itself and he can’t help but feel like the moon sometimes. It’s surrounded by glistening stars and yet it is still alone, shining brightly. James wonders if it has a favourite star.

James sure does.

A creak that sounds very similar to the one James caused on the stairs earlier interrupts his train of thought. He waits with bated breath to see who he’s going to have to have an awkward midnight conversation with and prays it isn’t Remus or Sirius, because he doesn’t know how to tell them that sharing a bed with them makes him feel lonely.

He’s saved from that conversation when his favourite star walks through the archway.

Regulus is as beautiful at night as he is in the day, only now he’s softened by sleep and looking deliciously rumpled. His pale skin gleams in the moonlight making him look like his namesake and James just wants to bask in his glow for the rest of his life.

He’s wearing the smallest shorts known to man, so little as they ride up his creamy thighs that James thinks they look more like underwear. Perhaps they are, but James’ brain has melted from his head and he’s now trying to operate without one. All he can manage to do is stare at Regulus unblinkingly. The boy still hasn’t noticed James as he shuffles in the kitchen, one hand combing through his dark hair, which gives the older boy more time to ogle.

Besides the tiny shorts, Regulus is wearing a dark green crop top, a colour that too closely resembles his bath towel and James feels his face heat at the memory. His perfectly toned stomach is on display, showcasing his lithe figure and James is so tempted to give in to his desires and mark that skin. He wants to see the indents from his teeth littered all over that body.

But James is a gentleman and a good friend. He will not maul Regulus. He will not even entertain the idea.

His luck runs out when he takes a rather large gulp of water and Regulus’ eyes snap to him immediately. He doesn’t do anything for a second, other than halt in his tracks with groggy eyes, but then he’s moving towards James with the determination of a snake waiting to strike. James knows that these animals have the patience to wait it out until the very best moment and he has no doubt that Regulus is willing to do just that.

Eyes shining with promise and pleasure, Regulus stops a few feet in front of James. “Fancy seeing you here.”

James raises an eyebrow, looking more confident than he feels. “We’re in your house. It’s not really much of a surprise, is it?”

Humming, Regulus makes his way to the fridge to pour himself a glass of milk. Setting the carton down on the counter, he reaches up to grab a glass from the cabinet. James watches the way his cropped top rises even more, the hint of a pink nipple teasing him and he places the glass of water down before he does something stupid like drop it.

He pours the milk into the glass, places the carton back in the fridge and then leans back against the counter, looking at James intensely. They’re further apart now, but the atmosphere in the kitchen is so delicate, so loaded that James feels like they’re trapped in a box together. He can smell Regulus from where he leans against the sink. He smells like seduction and ruin.

“I just assumed you’d be fast asleep with your boyfriend and his boyfriend.”

James rolls his eyes. “Sirius is not my boyfriend.”

Raising the glass of milk to his lips, Regulus shrugs. “Could have fooled me with all that kissing I heard earlier.”

“Are you jealous, Regulus?” James prods, knowing it’s likely to stir up something he can’t entertain but unable to stop himself. Maybe it’s because they’re here together in the dead of night under a full moon that James feels as though he might give into the insanity calling his name.

When he lowers the glass there’s a little drop of milk sitting in the corner of his lips and James thinks he’s going to go crazy if he doesn’t lick it right now. Regulus places the glass down on the counter and stalks over to James very slowly, slinky and sensual like a cat. “You know I am, James.”

James feels his breathing quicken as Regulus doesn’t stop until he’s face to face with him, nose to nose like Regulus doesn’t realise how badly he’s affecting him right now. Or maybe he does and he doesn’t care. Maybe this is what he wanted all along.

Regulus places his hands either side of James, effectively caging him in and ceasing any escape that James may attempt to make. He whispers into the quiet, tension filled space between them, James’ shaky breathing the only sound other than his voice. “Maybe now you won’t run away from me, baby.”

“Regulus,” James breathes, bumping his nose against Regulus’ as the younger boy toys with him, bringing his face closer to James’ as though he’s going to kiss him and then pulling away again. “We can’t do this.”

Smirking at the already worked up state, Regulus stares into James’ hooded brown eyes. “We can. Just let go, James. I know you want this. Why not just give in?”

Speaking hushedly, James’ eyes flutter against his will, breathless at the intensity of the silver eyes staring him down. “I can’t. Sirius would never forgive me.”

Regulus groans quietly, hands flexing where they’re gripping the counter. “Sirius has nothing to do with this.”

“You’re his brother, Regulus. And I’m his best friend. I’m not meant to feel what I do for his younger brother.”

“And what is it that you feel, James?” Regulus asks, one hand sneaking along the counter to rest at James’ hip. “Tell me, what do you feel for me? Is it platonic?” James whines softly and shakes his head. Regulus continues, “Tell me, James. Tell me what you want.”

“I want to ruin you,” James breathes passionately, his already weak resolve crumbling pathetically. “I feel like every time I’m near you I’m going to go insane because all I want to do is reach out and kiss you. I want to consume you whole. I want to do every wicked, filthy thing I’ve ever thought about and let you do even worse to me. When I saw you in the bathroom I wanted nothing more than to join you in that shower and fuck you against the wall. Regulus, I dream of you and nothing else.”

Regulus’ breath hitches and he fails to stifle the moan that threatens to leave his throat at the dirty words James says to him. He can’t help the way his hips stutter forward and press into James’, their bodies aligned against the counter top. “Fuck, James. I want that too. I want it all.”

“But that’s not all,” James gasps at the feeling of hardness that rocks into his own. “I want to stay up talking to you about everything and nothing. I want to sleep in your bed and pull you into my arms as we fall asleep. I want you to explain the essay you’re writing for your literature degree and all the books you love. I want to impress you with my knowledge of Pride and Prejudice so much that you kiss me. I want to go on walks with you, have picnics and lick every insult from your lips as you berate me for being sappy and idiotic. I want you to be mine not just for the night but forever.”

“James,” Regulus responds before he’s crashing his lips to James’, moaning in delight as the older boy responds instantly, his hands coming up to cup Regulus’ jaw. He mumbles into James’ mouth, “You fucking idiot, I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen.”

✧˖*°࿐

(part two?)

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idontplaytrack · 3 months ago

Text

Whispering

Lilette Suarez x fem! reader

Warnings: age regression, sickfic, fluff, mentions of vomiting

“I’ll be right beside you, holding your hand.”

You were currently in the middle of an eight-hour shift. Sometimes, you’d be bored out of your mind because no customers come in at all, other times it’s so busy you had no time to catch your breath. All in one shift. Thanks to a lack in manpower lately, you’ve been working several consecutive shifts per week for the last few weeks.

Saying you were exhausted was an understatement. However, you didn’t want to just be home all day. You could never sit still if you were home just doing nothing. At least you could earn some income while at work. At home you were just…resting. When you could’ve been productive. You were at shift four out of five for the week. And even though the job didn’t require a lot out of you, it was a heck of a lot of dealing with people. Having a customer service job at this (dying) cinema had its perks. But five days a week times 7 to 8 hours? Once you got home your whole body ached and you just felt like crying because you were not an extrovert. Why this job? This was the only place that got back to you out of the countless others you applied to.

Waiting for the time to go by was like torture. It feels like you’ve been stuck in an endless loop, living the same day over and over again. Little things were starting to set you off, you were growing irritated very easily and you had to physically stop yourself from ‘giving attitude’ to a customer.

“y/n! The iPad’s been going off for so long— do you not hear it?! Accept the order and make it!” Your co-worker yelled from the little break area in the back. You snap out of your daze, doing as she told you to, on autopilot. You were even thinking. You just went up to the iPad, hit the ‘accept’ button and made the snacks then brought it to the outside of a hall to meet with the customer.

Then, silence. You stood in the concession stand/box office, back leaning against the countertop staring at your shoes. A few seconds later, abrupt laughter from the same coworker startled you. Your heart began to race momentarily, so you took deep breaths. Which…turned into a sigh, honestly.

The staff door slams, jolting you as your head snapped towards the direction. Coworker number two has returned from their lunch break. Well, extra break. They went to smoke outside.

“Can I go for my lunch break? I get off at five and I usually don’t go this late.”

“We have a lot of patrons coming in for the next show. Go after that.”

You inhaled sharply, biting the inside of your cheek, “Right. Gotcha.”

You made it through that showing, then was finally on your lunch break. What made you lose it was dropping one of your gummy bears on the floor. You literally started weeping as you sat at the table. Then your phone rang, which you answered without checking.

“What?” You sniffled.

“Are you okay?”

Shit. It was Lilette. You thought it was your mom calling to talk to you about something absolutely redundant. Lilette doesn’t call you while you were at work, ever. She knew you couldn’t be using your phone at work other than during break times.

“…no.”

“What happened, baby?” She asked.

“I’m just tired.” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose as you sniffled. “It’s been too much. I feel myself wanting to regress but I can’t— Lil, I can’t be doing this.”

“I can come get you.” She offered softly, “Do you want me to?”

“No— no, I— I’m not allowed to just leave like that. I have two and a half hours left.”

Lilette sighs quietly, “Will you let me know if you need anything at all? Stay online with me, alright? Text me whenever you can, we don’t have to stay on call.”

“Kay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed feebly.

“Okay, baby.” Lilette said before you hung up and finished your lunch then went back to work. Like you’d promised her, you chatted with her via text as often as you could while you worked. It was honestly a way for her to figure out how you were doing without directly asking you. She knows from the way you text how regressed you are.

You knew she was worried about you, but there really was no stopping her from doing that. You’d be telling her that you were okay but Lilette could see right through you all the time. After clocking out, you grabbed your bag and just sped out the door before anyone could stop you. You didn’t even take off your name tag. You were simply focused on getting the hell out of there.

“Hey.” A familiar face causes you to stop in your tracks.

“Lilette?” You squinted at her. “Why—”

“Wanted to pick you up.” She leads you to her car. You sat in front with her, like usual. She buckled your seatbelt before you could and then got into the driver’s seat and promptly started driving— to her apartment. She knew after all, she knew you wouldn’t be able to get any rest at your own home since you still lived with your family. They always wanted you to do something, so Lilette took you to her apartment instead. Plus, they didn’t know where she lived so they could never locate you.

————

“Baby— your name tag. Take that off first.” She reminded you, your grip on the hem of your shirt loosens and you removed the pin from your shirt. While you did that, Lilette got a change of clothes ready for you. Took her a moment to consider, but she quickly decided on a comfy pyjama set. You followed her instructions without saying a single word. Lilette watched you closely as you carried out the task, her worry for you was immense. Her knowing exactly why you were in such bad overall condition was because you have been seriously overworking yourself.

You plop onto her bed, sitting with your legs on the side and looking up at her. You pout your lips, doing grabby hands to get her attention. Not that you needed to because she was watching you very closely. It was almost instantaneous, that switch flipping in your mind—metaphorically.

“I got you, mamita.” Lilette swiftly sat next to you and wrapped her arms around you. “I got you. It’s okay, you can rest now, baby. D’you wanna lay down?”

You shook your head, burying your head in her chest, tears just falling from your eyes with no pause. “Don’t feel good.” You hiccuped, struggling to even get those words out in the first place. She shifted herself so she wasn’t sitting on the side of her bed, then urged you to move up too. You did that, then you were swiftly attaching yourself to her side once again. “You don’t feel good?” She asked, running her fingers through your hair and massaging your scalp. You nodded, one hand clutching at the fabric of her shirt.

“Is it your head? Or your tummy?”

“My head.” You could barely talk, your voice was shaky and you were trying your hardest not to cry. The motions of her fingers on your head proven themselves to be helpful are several minutes, because she saw that you had nodded off. So she tried to remove herself from the spot beside you and go grab you your meds from the kitchen just to have them on standby for when you woke up. You got startled awake though. Then you were crying once again, so she got shocked and rushed back to your side. “Honey, what’s the matter? Hey, I’m right here, alright? I’m gonna stay right here, I promise.”

Yep, she wasn’t going anywhere now.

“Baby, stop pulling your ears—” She says, but you were wailing. So she stopped talking, hands holding onto your wrists.

You were completely incoherent even when trying to tell her something. Eventually after a full minute of full tears and snot, you went ‘ow’. Lilette sat up straighter, hands now off your wrists.

Gently cupping your face in her hands, she swipes your tears away with her thumb. “Hey.” She shushed you softly, “Hey, baby, look at me.”

While blinking profusely, your eyes slowly looked up into hers. “Your ears hurt?” She asks, pointing to her own to make it clear to you.

You nodded, sniffling. She wipes your nose clean with a tissue before asking, “Can I take a look, mamita?”

You nodded again, lips still quivering. She was being very careful not to pull on your ear to hurt you even more. “Can you close your eyes for me one sec, baby?” She requested. Once your eyes were closed, Amber took a peek into your ears with the help of the flash on her phone to see if there was any visible redness. She couldn’t see any of that so she figured it must’ve been an inner ear thing.

“Baby, you have to see a doctor.”

Oh boy, you heard that last word and begged her not to take you.

“You’re not feeling well, baby. We need to make sure that owie goes away.” She strokes your cheek, “I want you to feel better.”

“…’m scared.” You revealed timidly, choking on a sob.

“I’ll be right beside you, holding your hand.” She whispered, “I promise.”

You agreed, so she immediately took you back to her car after making sure you had your ID with you for registration. Oh, and your favourite plushie(that she definitely had to wash later). But her priority was making sure you got checked out and had the medication to improve your ailment. “Here, baby.”

“Thank you.” You told her in a quiet voice.

Rubbing your back, her hand stayed there as she led you to her car. “Alright, we’ll be back home before you know it.” She very cautiously shut the doors because she noticed that louder sounds and noises hurt your ears right now. Thankfully, you managed to doze off on the twenty-minute car ride to the nearest clinic so it went by without a hitch.

Hugging onto your purple tie-dye stuffed frog tightly, she held onto your hand after locking her car doors and walking with you towards the clinic. You were wearing a flannel of hers that she’d left in her car since you were cold— the infection had you running a fever. As if it wasn’t already going to be a heck of a few days, maybe even a week. Lilette signed you in and told the front desk what was bothering you when they asked. They told you both to go sit down and wait. From the second you walked in, you’ve been staring at the ground. Only accidentally making eye contact with the nice lady at the front desk. She smiled at you.

You two wound up waiting for nearly half an hour before you were called in. As promised, Lilette hasn’t let go of your hand once.

Lilette knocks on the wooden door, only opening it when she hears a ‘come in’. “Hi there. They said you were having an ear infection?” The doctor asked immediately. While looking at you. You obviously were not going to be answering that. You never talked to strangers when regressed because you didn’t want to, or just didn’t feel familiar and comfortable enough with them. “She does.”

The doctor quirked a brow, gesturing for you to sit down on the examination bench. You don’t budge, then of course Lilette told you to before you went ahead. “That’s…an interesting thing to have here, isn’t it?” The doctor looked at your stuffed frog, “How old are you— 22. Oh.” He scoffed.

Lilette squinted, “Excuse me?”

“Yeah?” The doctor glances at Lilette as he reached for the otoscope.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That comment you just—” Lilette bit back her words, pulling the curtain by the bench to shield your eyes from that anger bubbling up within her. She didn’t want you to see that. “Your job is to make sure a patient gets the help they need. No matter who they are and how they’re like. Who is she harming by bringing a stuffed animal into this doctor’s office? It’s an intense, scary place to be in. You don’t have her medical history and anything else related, you have not a clue what she’s been through. So just focus on what’s being presented to you that’s actually a problem you can and are supposed to help with. Do your job, care for your patients, not make fun of them and make them feel bad when clearly it’s the last thing they need.”

The doctor was silent. Lilette opened the curtain slightly, “Baby, could I borrow Ellie for a sec?”

“I’m sorry.” The doctor answered flatly.

You furrowed your brows together in thought, but handed it over. Lilette pulls the curtain open more. “Are you sorry? No, are you afraid of this harmless thing being in your space?” Lilette held it up, scoffing, her eyes nearly rolling in annoyance. “Take a good look at it, watch.”

The frog flies a short distance and hits him in the face before falling onto the floor. He didn’t react. At all. But his facial expression showed his embarrassment after Lilette’s words. Lilette hands the toy back to you, “Thank you, baby.” You smiled at her, confused. Then he just silently checked your ears then told Lilette the situation. With your hand back in Lilette’s and her brushing her thumb over your knuckles, you braved through it. Soon, he was writing you a prescription then sent you on your way.

Buckling you in the seat, she studies your face. “You good, bubby?”

“Wanna sleep.” You mumbled.

“That’s okay, mamita. Go ahead, hm? We have to pick up your medicine on the way so it will be awhile. I’ll wake you up when we get home.”

You murmured an ‘okay’ then just went to sleep, head resting on the frog’s. Lilette parks in the lot outside the pharmacy, right by the entrance so she could see you. She didn’t want to wake you up because you absolutely needed as much rest as possible. Thankfully, she was in and out of the pharmacy quite quickly.

————

You unwillingly got out of your seat and had her lead you back to her room once home. You were so ready to just get back to sleep but she had to get you showered, or at least change into a fresh set of clothes and take the medications. “Mamita, I’m just gonna need you to stay awake for me a few more minutes, please?” Lilette coaxed. “What snack do you want, baby?”

“Wanna sleeeeeep.” You sulked.

“I know, baby.” She bites back a sigh. You needed to have something in your stomach before you took the painkiller and antibiotics— your stomach was sensitive. And the latter tended to be quite harsh on your stomach, too.

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay? Lemme get you some milk.”

You laid down cautiously since the pressure hurt your ears. Also, your beloved stuffed frog was gone from your sight since Lilette left it in the kitchen to wash in the machine. So you settled for a teddy bear instead just to have something to hold onto. You hear her in the kitchen, the fridge door opening and closing. Then footsteps. She’s returned with your sippy cup of milk and the meds. You started to cry again while she convinced you with every way possible to drink them. “y/n. Your owie’s gotta go away otherwise you’re just gonna be not feeling good for a long time. Please? I’ll get you a popsicle when you wake up later?”

You didn’t say anything back, so she didn’t say anything and simply handed you your sippy cup. You were defeated, and honestly? So tired thanks to being sick. Lilette fed you both medications when you had drank half the cup of milk before she let you finish that off. “Ellie’s in the wash, okay? She’ll be all clean and dry tomorrow.”

You only gave her a nod as you handed her your sippy cup, your eyes were closing. Lilette however, sets your cup back down instead of bringing it to the kitchen so she could hold you while you slept. Without you mentioning anything whatsoever, she propped her own pillow under yours so your head was elevated hence taking the pressure off your ears and alleviating the ache. She sighs softly, watching your face. “You’ll be okay.” Lilette says while soothingly patting you to sleep.

Somehow, you were still in tears. It was such a pitiful sight, Lilette herself wanted to cry. Yeah, it was going to take a bit of time before the painkiller kicked in. The constant nagging ache coupled with the occasional sharp stabbing pain in your ears was like a combination from hell. Quite frankly, your whole head felt like it was going to explode and it scared you so you were basically clinging onto Lilette for dear life. “You’ll be okay soon, I promise.” She whispered, her hand continually going up and down your front in a comforting manner. You were now laying on your back, closing your eyes again like she’d asked. It was difficult to fall asleep being so uncomfortable.

“I love you, baby.” She presses a kiss to your cheek.

“…luv you too, mama.” You sulked, she cups your cheek and gave you another kiss.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel good, sweetie.” Lilette’s thumb still stroked your cheek. “Go to sleep. I’ll be right beside you, holding your hand.” She intertwined her fingers with yours and squeezed your hand, “Okay?”

“…‘Kay.” You mumbled, finally giving into the exhaustion. You fell asleep in seconds. But much to her shock, you woke up two hours in all flustered. Shit, the nausea you would get after taking antibiotics.

Lilette rushes to you from her desk, bringing the trash can to your feet. You swallowed thickly but it was terribly hard and painful to fight the urge after your stomach swiftly did that somersault. Before you knew it, you were bent over and spilling your guts into the trash. Lilette cringes internally but did what she had to do and rubbed your back. She’d luckily put your hair into braids earlier so it didn’t get dirty with the throw up. You didn’t have much in your stomach either, it was obvious. After a short while, you were dry heaving and crying your eyes out from how sore your stomach felt after the fact. Lilette was shushing you and whispering sweet words of assurance into your ears. She was whispering, yes. Terrified to be too loud and hurting your ears. Hurting you.

She helped you up to go rinse out your mouth in the bathroom. Once that was done, you basically just turned around and wrapped your arms around her, leaning your chin on her shoulder. Lilette’s palm reflexively found its way again onto your back. “You wanna sit down? I’ll get you a popsicle. A purple one.”

“Uh-huh.” You answered, nodding your head, your voice unclear and shaky.

She unwrapped her arms and walked you over to the couch to sit before grabbing that exact popsicle for you. “Here you go.” Lilette knew that it would soothe your throat for sure but definitely needed some more food in your system— actual food that could fill you up. Even if just for a little bit. So you weren’t even more uncomfortable from hunger.

“Thank you.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile.

“Want some soup?” She suggests hopefully. You agreed, she was expecting a ‘no’. Or more crying, to be honest.

————

While she was cooking in the kitchen, you stayed curled up on the couch hugging that same teddy bear for some level of comfort.

“How you doing, mamita?”

“…m okay.”

“That’s good.” Lilette hums.

After awhile, Lilette joins you on the couch when the soup was simmering on the stove. “You want a hug, baby?” She asks, smiling at you adoringly. Without a doubt, you leaned onto her and let her wrap her arms around you. You were cuddly when regressed and she knows and loves it. “Do you wanna watch some TV?”

You shook your head.

“No?” Lilette stroked your hair— which was slightly sweaty, from the day you’ve had. Carefully, she took off the hair ties and was massaging your scalp for you. It gave you some more relief, so you happily let her.

After turning the stove off, she decides dinner could wait and helped you with a shower instead while the fever reducer/painkiller was still in your system. You were too sick to object so you just let her, it went by faster that way. Because you were back on the couch soon enough, now watching some cartoons while she got dinner for both of you from the kitchen. You sat down on the floor when she walked back, so she did the same and both of you ate the food in relative silence. While you were engrossed in the show, Lilette slips away to prepare the next dose of your medications. Not forgetting this time that she had something to settle your stomach too this time. She found it in the medicine cabinet in her bathroom.

“Would you wanna do some colouring, my love?” Lilette smiled at you proudly when you swallowed the meds in no time. “Good girl.”

You smiled back at her, chuckling. Lilette pulled out a colouring book from the low shelf of the coffee table along with a box of crayons. “I’ll be right back, okay? Just need to wash these little cups and put the bowls in the sink right there.”

“Okay, mama.”

Not gonna lie…her heart melted whenever you called her by that term. It was sweet, there was a complete sense of trust she felt that you had for her. Helping you heal has been helping her too, she’s created a calm and loving environment for the both of you. Taking care of you made her feel a great sense of comfort and you being so cute just made her happy to see you smile. She’d do whatever it takes so you were happy especially when you were regressed. It heals. Both of you. There was no anger, no resentment, no unnecessary screaming. Just love and care and support.

She could feel you watching her. So she turned around and looked over her shoulder. Lilette smiles when she sees your face. “Hi, baby girl.” She grins. You laughed happily, the first time all day. Maybe all week, or all month.

“Hiiii.”

Lilette chuckles, “I’m coming, you cutie pie. Just one second.”

She kept the tiny medicine cups back into the cupboard then returned to her spot next to you. Actually, she even pulled you onto her lap after a short while, watching you colour while resting her chin on your shoulder. “That’s a really pretty colour, mamita.”

“It’s purple.” You beamed.

“It is, honey. Good job.” Lilette chuckles over her words. ”Who’s your favourite?”

“Mmm.” You hummed in thought, “The little ones.” Flipping through some pages, you stop at the sticker page. Peeling one off of the said character and sticking it onto Lilette’s arm, “That one.”

Obviously tickled, she laughs, “Oh, this one? Kinda reminds me of you, baby. Apple Bloom’s so cute.”

“Am I gonna fhrow up again?” You wondered.

“No, mamita. I promise, that medicine you took will help with that, alright?”

“…’Kay.”

“Okay.” She plants a kiss on your shoulder.

It started raining soon after, causing you to feel a little too cold for your liking. “You want a blankie?” She asks, palm against your abdomen, the warmth was comforting so you didn’t want to leave you alone even for just a moment to let her grab the blanket for you. “You don’t want me to get up, baby?”

“No.” You pouted.

“Baby.” She chuckles. “How about you sit here just for a second and colour?”

“Noooo.” You whined, clinging onto her tighter

Defeated, she picked you up. She actually picked you up for the first time and carried you then walked to the cupboard to get you a blanket. Granted it was only a few feet, but you didn’t want her to leave your side even for just a minute. “Alright, here you go.” She says while sitting down on the couch with you on her lap. She drapes the blanket over your shoulder then hugs you again, letting you snuggle up against her while you two watch the rain falling outside.

She kisses your cheek, “Do you feel a lil better?”

“Lil bit.” You smiled, showing a tiny space in between two fingers.

“I’m so glad, baby. Do you want me to read you a story?”

“No.” You said.

“You just wanna watch the rain?”

“Yeah.” You sat on her left thigh, both your legs resting across her lap as you nestled your head in the crook of her neck.

“Let’s do that.” She agrees.

“Thank you.” You sat up straight, holding her face in your hands and squishing her cheeks. Lilette chuckles, “Don’t need to thank me baby.”

“You help me.” You said, still holding her face, “I need say thank you.”

Lilette smiles, “You’re so welcome, mamita. I love you.”

“Luv you toooo.” You giggled, squishing her cheeks harder, so she laughs harder and peppers soft kisses all over your face. When she stopped, you kissed her back on the cheek.

“You’re so sweet, baby.” She smiled. You were just happy to be called baby, “Hehe.”

“If you wanna sleep, just sleep, hm?” She whispered, once again, her palm was going up and down your back very easily coaxing you to sleep. You were comfortable— the weather was nice and cool, it was the perfect way to fall asleep for the night. “Don’t fight it.” Lilette continues, “Rest up. You deserve the rest, baby. We have all the time in the world to do everything else once you feel better.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Part 2 for the regressed Regina fic is still in the works. Enjoy this one that wrote on a whim and somehow became 4K words😭

#auli'i cravalho #lilette suarez #fanfiction #wlw fanfiction #nbc rise #drama high #alternate universe #gxg #reader x character #reader insert #reader imagine #queer fiction #wlw sfw #fluff #sickfic #hurt/comfort #age regression #reader discretion advised #Spotify

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jaehyunsprincesspeach · 1 year ago

Note

Hii can i please request a fic Where Taeyong is sick (like maybe he has food poisoning or something) and y/n drops everything to take care of him because he calls saying he needs her 🥹

please excuse me while I go cry in the corner

this is so cute omg my heart is gonna burst!

hope y'all enjoy, and thank you for the request <3

All the love ~ lunar

I Need You

Pairing: Taeyong x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of stress/anxiety , mentions of hospitals , mentions of illness (food poisoning , exhaustion), fluffy fluff

“Good morning baby, have a good day!”

You text your boyfriend Taeyong as you wake up in the morning, surprised that you are awake before he is. Usually you are waking up to a message from him, but with how busy he has been since releasing his solo album, as well as NCT Nation with their comeback, you are happy that he is able to get a little more rest today.

As you get up and get ready for your day, you are waiting for Taeyong to return your message, as he always answers as quickly as he can, when he has the opportunity to. Thinking he is still asleep, you push away the thoughts that are beginning to cloud your head, as the worry starts to set in, you remind yourself that he is probably sleeping… hopefully.

Driving to work, you have your music blasting, singing along to every song that comes on. Thankfully you left earlier than you normally do, as there is bumper to bumper traffic. Enjoying your music, suddenly you receive a call from Taeyong that caught you by surprise. Suspicion settles in your mind, as you answer the call. It’s rare for him to call so early in the morning, usually he saves that for late night FaceTime calls when he is at the studio, and needs you to keep him company while he produces new music.

“Hey baby, how did you sleep?”

“I need you.” Three simple words that hold so much meaning.

“What’s going on Tae, are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t feel good. Something feels wrong. I just need you.”

“I’m on my way, love. Just stay in bed okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you, y/n, I love you.”

“I love you too, see you soon.”

As soon as you hung up the phone, you are getting off of the road at the nearest exit, nerves spiked, and worry taking over your mind. You called your boss to say that you would be missing work due to an emergency, and drive to Taeyong’s house as fast as you can.

Taeyong is the strongest person you have ever met. You’ve never known how he does it, but he always manages to get himself up early, and stay up late, working on what he loves. He never seems to get burnt out, and never seems to be tired from the strenuous schedules that he has set for him. Yes, he loves what he does, and he loves the busy lifestyle that he has, but surely you thought at some point he would need a break. Not once has he shown anyone other than you his exhaustion and stress. He tells you everything. All of his stress and worries and anything that could possibly be on his mind. But never before has he called sounding as worried as he did then. Never once has he shown an ounce of weakness when it comes to not only his job but his physical health as well. Of course, throughout the time of your relationship, he has been sick, usually with a common cold, but your gut is telling you this is something different. Something he’s never experienced before, and that’s what scares you.

Upon arriving to his house, you leave all of your belongings in your car, and rush into the house. You find him in his bed, clutching his stomach. Immediately, you run out to the kitchen and run some hot water on a towel, and take it to him, laying him on his back so that you can place the towel on his stomach.

“y/n?”

“Hi my love, I’m here, whats going on?”

“I don’t know, everything just hurts.”

“I think we should go get you checked out.”

Giving you a hum of approval, you gather some things that he may need and take them to your car, before getting him out of bed, and getting him to the car, making sure to bring an extra empty plastic bag, just in case. Driving, he is silent, and so are you, as the anxiety courses through your veins. As soon as you arrive at the hospital, you run inside to get someone to help you, doing your absolute best not to draw any attention to you or the idol.

~~~

After he gets checked out by the doctors, you are brought in from the waiting room, unable to hide the worry on your features. The doctor explains that it is a combination of food poisoning, that is enhanced from exhaustion, and that they will be keeping Taeyong in the hospital overnight, till the effects die down and he is more comfortable. He’s asleep from the medication that the doctors gave him. Even in his sickly state, he looks so peaceful sleeping.

You pull up a chair next to the bed, and grab his hand, simply sitting in silence as the doctor leaves, and Taeyong gets the well deserved rest he needs. Studying his features, it’s still a shock to you how lucky you are to be with a man like him. After a while of sitting in the room, simply holding his hand, Taeyong wakes up.

“Y/n, you’re here.” He says with a sleepy smile

“Of course I am Tae, I’ll always be here.” You reply, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

For the next few hours, the two of you talk like normal, and you know that Taeyong is doing his best to seem like he is okay, but you hate that he is pretending in front of you. You know that he is only doing it so that you wont worry as much, but it makes you worry more not knowing how he is really feeling.

“Tae, why are you masking?”

“Masking? What do you mean love?”

“I know you’re trying to make it seem like you feel better. Please, please don’t hide how you’re feeling around me.”

“Im sorry baby, I just don’t want you to worry too much. I know you have your own stuff going on, and I know you called out of work to be here.”

“I called out of work to take care of the man I love, thats all that I care about right now. Everything I have going on is not nearly as important to me as you are. Please don’t hide anything from me, I want to help, love.”

“What would I do with out you? You’re so good to me”, he says placing a hand on your cheek, “I love you y/n.”

“I love you too Tae.”

“What time are you going home?”

“Im not.”

“What do you mean? You need to sleep!”

“What I need is to know that you are okay. I can’t do that when I’m not here with you. Sorry baby, you’re stuck with me.” You say earning a hum of approval from him, followed by a kiss on the back of your hand. “Get some sleep my love, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“You know, I really do need you. Whenever you’re not around, nothing makes sense, nothing feels right. Even being here, I know that everything will be okay, since you’re here with me.”

“I wouldn’t leave you for the world.” With that you place a soft kiss on his lips, and he begins to drift off to sleep, refusing to let go of your hand.

As he sleeps that night, you stay awake for majority of the time, simply thinking about all of the wonderful memories you have with him, as well as his words to you. I need you. Three simple words that hold so much meaning. As you drift off to sleep these words ring through your mind, and your heart swells with love.

“I need you too Taeyong.”

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dolce-cavill · 2 years ago

Text

wish you were here

captain syverson x fem!oc

12.8k words

summary: after an unexpected phone call from her best friends brother, not even thousands of miles of separation can stop new feelings from developing

🎧 Click here for the fic playlist

warnings: mentions of war/deployment (idk if that needs a warning), language, fem!oc but no physical description given, small age gap (6 years), use of pet names (mostly darlin), mentions of alcohol/drinking, angst, implied smut, if i missed anything let me know!

i headcanon his first name to be travis so that is the name i will be using

closing my book and tossing it onto the nightstand, i rubbed my eyes as i flopped backwards onto the bed. glancing to the left, the red glow of the clock stared back at me displaying 1:57 am. i’d always been a night owl, but i’d recently fallen into the habit of staying up far later than usual, sometimes being chased by the sunrise by the time i finally got ready to sleep.

swinging my stiff legs over the edge of the bed, i padded down the hall to the bathroom. after brushing my teeth and washing my face, i switched off the light and began to walk back to my bedroom, when i heard my phone ringing. i thought it was odd, as it was seldom that anyone ever actually called me rather than just texting, nevermind the fact that it was two in the morning, and immediately worried that the strange occurrence meant something was wrong. moving faster towards the ringing phone, i noticed the number wasn’t saved in my contacts as i picked up the call, bringing the phone up to my ear.

“hello?” i greeted the unknown caller, pacing nervously around my room.

“hey…layla?” the voice was familiar, but not one i had heard in years, nor expected to be on the other end of the call.

“…travis?” i asked. travis syverson was my best friend beths older brother, who was currently (at least as far as i knew) stationed in iraq; perhaps one of the last people i would’ve guessed to be calling me at this hour, if at all.

“yeah,” he laughed. “sorry- i …. beth didn’t answer and yours is the only other number i could remember, ya know, from you an’ her always hanging out,” he explained. it had been about six months since i had last seen him, at one of the going away parties beth insisted on throwing every time travis was deployed.

“no need to apologize,” i assured. we had never been super close but we did spend a lot of time together considering how growing up i basically lived at their house with how much i hung out with beth. “it’s nice to hear from you.” i admitted. “how are you? is everything okay- i mean all things considered.”

“i’m alright- you know me. same old same old here; we’re tryna help and we’re getting shot at for it,” he sighed heavily. “sorry, i don’t need’a scare you with that crap.” the anger in his voice leaving as he spoke. “what did you get up to today?” i laughed lightly.

“i’m gonna bore you ta death,” i teased, thinking of how mundane my day had been.

“darlin’ lemme tell you somethin’- i am surrounded by nothing but sand for fuckin miles,” he insisted, and i laughed again.

“okay okay,” i surrendered. the nickname probably would’ve made me blush if we weren’t from the south; it was just something i’d gotten used to him calling me. “i did the dishes, i went to the grocery store-“

“what’d ya buy at the store?” he asked.

“uhh just cereal.. coffee creamer… fruit. do you regret asking yet?”

“no- over here things are so crazy it’s kinda nice just to hear about everyday things ya know?” i smiled sadly.

“i hadn’t thought of it like that.” i admitted. there was a comfortable silence for a moment before he spoke again.

“shit i didn’t wake you up- did i?” he asked, as if he had just considered the almost ten hour time difference between us. “what time is it where you are?”

“it’s around two in the morning,” i laughed. “but no you didn’t wake me up; “remember beth used to always fall asleep first at sleepovers and i’d just be stuck sitting awake by myself.”

“yeah i remember- you’d come bother me, wanting to see what i was doin,” he laughed.

“you make me sound like an annoying little kid,” i replied, and he laughed again. i pictured him in my mind, at least how he had looked when i had last seen him, his hair cut short since he was shipping out but his beard still intact. i thought about how his blue eyes crinkled when he laughed, and imagined they were doing that now.

“you were; you and beth,” he snickered. “you grew up to be tolerable at least,” he teased, and i could tell he meant nothing mean by it.

“yeah well you’d stopped bein’ fun to bother when you stopped playing video games and started working out all the time,” i countered.

“yeah but ain’t i more fun to look at now?” travis had always had an aura of confidence to him that i admired, and i had to admit; he was damn good looking. around the time i was 17 i had started developing a little crush on him. nothing too serious, but i definitely noticed that he had been putting more work in at the gym. however, if the fact that he was my best friend's brother wasn’t enough for me to never mention it, the fact that he was 23 at the time and probably thought of me as his little sisters friend and nothing else was.

before i could agree or disagree, he spoke again.

“hey i gotta go- other people gotta use the phone, but it was nice talking to you, layla.” i found myself feeling slightly disappointed that he had to go so soon, but i understood.

“yeah; it was nice to hear from you,” i admitted. it wasn’t a long conversation, but i enjoyed it nonetheless. “if beth ever doesn’t answer again…”

“i’ll call you,” with that the line cut off, leaving me wishing i could’ve told him to be safe at least, although kind of redundant considering where he was.

i sighed contently as i set my phone down, switching off the light and crawled under the covers. thoughts of travis flooded my mind as i tried to fall asleep, secretly hoping that i would hear from him again soon.

it was only a week or so before i heard from travis again, this time around 9pm as i was getting ready to leave work. there were only about 15 minutes left in my shift when my cell phone started to ring in my pocket, and i glanced at my coworker who was stood at the counter next to me. she nodded as if to say “take the call,” and i gave her a smile as i walked to the break room so customers wouldn’t see my on the phone.

“hello?” i answered as i shut the door and sat down at the small table.

“hey darlin,” travis’s voice drawled through the phone, and a smile spread across my face. “how was your day?”

“it was alright, i’m just finishing up at work. how about you? are you having any luck winning over the locals yet?” i teased lightheartedly, knowing he wouldn’t take offence to it. he laughed deeply on the other end of the line.

“na- no such luck just yet,” he admitted. “we’re tryin though, that's what matters. is now a bad time? if you’re at work i don’t wanna keep you-“

“no it’s okay- you’re more important. we’re just about closed up anyway.” i answered honestly.

“i’m flattered,” he chuckled. “you still working at that cafe- the one on main street?” i was a little surprised he’d remembered.

“yeah- it pays the bills. they’ve expanded the menu since you left to have some deli sandwiches and stuff so i even got a pretty good raise earlier this year.”

“i’ll have to try them when i come home,” he replied.

“you talk to beth lately?” i asked, wondering if she ever answered his call after last week. i hadn’t told her that i had talked to travis; there was no specific reason- it just hadn’t come up when i saw her last.

“yeah i called her yesterday and she actually answered,” i could hear the smile in his voice as he teased his little sister. “you see her recently?”

“i saw her the other day- she’s picking me up from work any minute now actually,” i explained.

“she doing okay? i mean- she tells me she’s fine, but i know it’s always been hard for her when i leave,” he asked, in a sincere manner; as her older brother he had always been protective of beth, and me as well by association.

“she sure does know how to worry. but she’s good-honestly. she got her hair dyed the other day; it’s kinda of a copper colour now,” i smiled. “and we both worry about you when you’re gone.”

“you worry about me?” he teased mischievously. i felt heat rise to my cheeks.

“of course i do.”

“i appreciate it but i’ll be fine- always am.” he said, trying to reassure me; but as much as i wanted to believe him i couldn’t shake the anxious feeling in my chest. i thought of how last time we spoke he had to hang up rather quickly, so i decided to say what i wanted to say before i missed the opportunity again.

“just- stay safe okay? as much as that’s possible i mean?” i pleaded. he chuckled softly.

“i will darlin’ - since you asked so nicely.” he promised, and my chest tightened again knowing that it wasn’t something he could really guarantee. i didn’t have many people in my life that i cared about, or that cared about me, and i couldn’t bare the thought of losing any of them. “i gotta go- i’ll call you soon.” he said, and once again i found myself wishing we had more time to talk.

“i’ll look forward to it,” i replied.

“goodnight darlin,” he said, before hanging up the phone. i set my phone down on the table and ran my hands over my face, letting out a sigh. my eyes snapped open at a knock on the door, and my coworker lisa, peeked her head in.

“i’m locking up- can you come count the till?” she asked. i nodded, putting my phone in my pocket and following her back to the front of the store. she locked the front door and closed the blinds as i counted the cash in the till, making sure it had the correct amount and taking out any cash we received today.

“not that it’s any of my business, are you seeing someone and you haven’t told me?” lisa asked playfully. she was one of the nicest people i knew, and wasn’t someone to pry, so i knew she was only trying to make friendly conversation. i shook my head, slightly confused.

“no- what makes you think that?” i asked, curious as to what gave her the idea that i, who had been single the entire time i had known her, was dating someone.

“i was just wondering, since your eyes lit up when you got that phone call earlier. i thought maybe it was someone special,” she explained. i blushed- had i really seemed that excited? of course i was happy to hear from travis, but i hadn’t realized it had been written all over my face.

“just an old friend. we reconnected recently,” i answered truthfully.

“mhm.” she hummed teasingly. “if you say so.”

“lisa-“ i protested, although i knew she was only joking. “he’s just a friend.”

“i’m sure he is.” she smiled. somehow, even though she was only a few years older than me, lisa always seemed to know more than me, her few years of seniority she had over me making her wiser than i was. “it’s nice to see you happy though.”

“you say that like i’m usually not,” i laughed.

“i didn’t mean it like that.” she defended, and i think she was worried she had offended me. “i just meant i’m happy for you if you’ve found someone, and even if they’re just a friend, they must be something pretty special for you to look that happy just to hear from them.”

“i know- it’s okay lees.” i smiled. “and yeah- he is pretty special.” deciding that i needed to stop thinking about him, i tucked the now counted cash into an envelope and carried it back to the office. when i returned to the front of the shop, i saw beth’s car outside, and glanced at the clock- 9:02pm; perfectly on time. i grabbed her a muffin from the display case (they would be thrown out tomorrow anyway) and said goodnight to lisa, as we both left the shop.

“you can tell me more about this mystery man tomorrow!” lisa called as i opened the passenger door to beth’s car. i silently wished she hadn’t said that, since i knew beth would ask me about it if she heard, which to my dismay, she indeed had.

“hey- how was work!” she asked enthusiastically as i shut the car door and did my seatbelt.

“it was good- not too busy but not slow enough to be boring. the last hour was pretty quiet though,” i answered. it had been a pretty good day, even if i wasn’t sure i wanted to tell her what made the last 10 minutes so enjoyable. i knew she wouldn’t mind me talking to travis- that wasn’t the issue, since deep down i knew lisa was right- and my teenage crush had never truly gone away. how was i supposed to explain to my best friend that i thought i might have a crush on her brother? and that he had been calling me from across the world instead of her?

“what’s this i hear about a mystery man?” she teased, and gone was any false hope i had that she hadn’t heard was gone. i shook my head.

“nothing- i was texting my cousin and lisa got the wrong idea,” i lied, and she seemed to believe me.

“nathan? is he asking for money again?” i laughed at her. it would not be unusual for my cousin to ask for money, but i didn’t want to throw him under the bus and have her call him out; i would get too caught up in the lie and not be able to dig myself out.

“no, not this time actually.” thankfully she didn’t ask anymore questions, and the rest of the car ride was spent listening to her talk about her day. i didn’t mind, but beth tended to talk more than she listened. i tried to pay attention, but as i stared out the window, looking at the stars whizzing by as we sped down the road, my mind couldn’t help but wander, thinking of a different syverson sibling than the one sat next to me.

three months went by, with travis calling me almost once a week, as he still called beth as well. a few weeks after he first called, it came up that i hadn’t told beth that we had been talking.

“i haven’t mentioned it either, now that i think about it.,” he replied when i told him it hadn’t come up. “maybe for the best- she might think i’m tryna steal you from ‘er.” i wasn’t sure what he had meant by it, but regardless, it made my stomach flip with butterflies, and i was grateful he couldn’t see that i was blushing.

“are you trying to steal me from her?” i decided to tease him a little, our conversations having become perhaps the slightest bit flirty recently.

“if i wanted to i think i could, don’t you darlin’?” i laughed. yes, you could, i thought, feeling slightly guilty that i had spent more time lately talking to him than i had my best friend.

“i don’t know, you know how protective she is,” i argued.

“you think i’m not? i’m worse than she is.” that shouldn’t have made the blush on my face darken, but it did. “remember when you were dating that guy- what was his name?”

“ben?” i groaned, remembering my first boyfriend from high school. he ended up being a total arse who dumped me after i wouldn’t sleep with him.

~ flashback ~

beth and travis had been throwing a party since their parents were away, and i had brought ben as my date. we had been together for about a year, and when i wouldn’t go with him to one of the bedrooms upstairs he flipped. the alcohol in his system made things worse, and when travis heard him yelling at me, he had threatened to kick his ass.

“oh look, layla, your boyfriends here!” ben yelled, shoving travis, which didn’t even make him stumble.

“what are you talking about?” i asked, tears threatening to fall from my eyes, the liquor making me a little more emotional.

“oh come on, i’m not stupid, you’ve obviously got a crush on him.” ben spat. “i bet you’d fuck him if he asked, or maybe you already-“ travis swung his fist into bens face before he could finish his sentence, sending the smaller man crumpling to the floor.

“travis what the hell?!” beth yelled, not having heard the conversation, only coming in from the backyard in time to see the fists start flying. travis picked ben up off the floor by the front of his shirt, slamming his back into the wall.

“you shut the fuck up- you don’t talk to her like that. get out of my house before i really kick your ass,” travis threatened, and ben sniffled, a trickle of blood coming from his nose as he huffed, before turning and leaving with his ego bruised to match the one that he would surely have on his face tomorrow.

“are you alright? what happened?” beth asked, coming over and wrapping her arms around me. i nodded, looking at travis who still stared towards the door after ben.

“thank you,” i said, and travis finally looked at me, with an anger in his eyes i had never seen before. his gaze softened when his eyes met mine.

“i’m gonna get some air,” he said, before walking out of the house, the door slamming behind him.

“what happened?” beth asked again. i sighed.

“ben was being a dick, and travis punched him,” i explained, leaving out some of the details since i was embarrassed. “i’m okay beth- i promise. i’m just gonna go check on him.” she let me out of her grip, quickly getting pulled away by some of the other guests as i went after her older brother. i found him sitting on the front step, and cautiously sat beside him. he glanced toward me to see who it was, and seemed to relax a tiny bit. his eyes locked on something down the street, and i looked to see ben drunkenly stumbling down the sidewalk, not having made it very far from the house yet, but far enough that any conversation had wouldn’t be heard.

“what are you thinking about?” i asked. travis sipped the beer he was holding before speaking.

“i’m thinkin’ about whether or not i should go after him and beat the shit out of him for what he said to you,” he answered, and i appreciated his brutal honesty.

“he’s not worth it,” i said, trying to convince him not to get himself in trouble, especially on my behalf. “is your hand okay?” i asked, gently grabbing his large hand in mine and inspecting his knuckles, a layer of red forming over them already.

“you’re worried about my hand?” he laughed. i couldn’t help but laugh with him. “are you okay?” he asked more seriously. i nodded, placing his hand back in his lap and tiredly leaning my head against his shoulder.

“thank you,” i hummed, my eyes closing, suddenly exhausted, and the alcohol starting to give me a slight headache. his arm pulled me closer and i felt his press a kiss to the top of my head.

“anytime.”

~ flashback end ~

“yeah i remember- he turned out to be a dud, huh,” i joked.

“i’ll say.” there was a hint of anger in his voice, as if he was remembering the same night you were.

“i’ve never seen you as angry as you were that time you punched him in the face.”

“he deserved it,” he said, defensively.

“i don’t disagree, travis.” i assured him, worried i had given him the wrong idea. i’m not sure if i was just feeling vulnerable, but what i said next was something i never thought i would share. “he was right though- i did actually kinda have a thing for you back then.” that seemed to change his demeanour for the better, his voice no longer angry, now more surprised.

“you did?” he asked. “shit, that would’ve been nice to know at the time,” he mumble the last part, so quiet i barely heard him, and assumed i heard him wrong, and decided not to ask him to repeat it.

“yeah, i mean i was like 16 and you were my friends cool older brother,” my face was red as a started to regret mentioning it, but thankfully he didn’t make a big deal of it.

“are you saying i ain’t cool anymore?” he laughed. “oh shit, times up darlin’- i’ll call you soon,”

“okay- stay safe, travis.” i said. it had become a habit of saying it every time he had to hang up, as pointless as it was to say.

“will do.”

as i set my phone down on my dresser, i realized just how deep of shit i was in. i was falling head over heels for my best friends brother, who was halfway across the world; with no idea when (or if) he would be home again. the thought of travis never coming home, of getting the news from beth that something bad had happened to him kept me up at night. what made it worse was that no one knew how much i had grown to care for him in the last few months. what had started as friendly conversation had quickly developed into playful flirtation, or at least i thought it had. maybe i was delusional or maybe he was just bored, and he would come home and pretend it had never happened, or he’d tell me i got the wrong idea all along.

these thoughts kept me up most of the night, and i surely had dark circles under my eyes when i walked into work the next morning. lisa, never one to miss anything noticed right away and gave me a worried look.

“honey, have you been sleeping alright?” she asked, pouring me a coffee from the pot she had already made for the morning rush. i knew it would be useless to try to lie, as it was quite literally written all over my face.

“not really. i’ve just had a lot on my mind lately,” i answered honestly, just leaving out any details. i sipped the coffee, clocking in on the till and tying my apron around my waist.

“i won’t pry, but if you want to talk about anything you know i’m here for you,” she offered. usually i would’ve brushed her off, but considering the person i would usually talk to about this kind of thing was beth, and i couldn’t tell her, i actually thought about asking for lisa’s advice.

“thank you. i really appreciate it, lees. maybe after work?” i think she was surprised i actually wanted to talk about it, but she smiled and nodded.

after we closed down the store, the door locked and the blinds closed, lisa took off her apron and carried two coffees over to the table i was sat down at. i thanked her as she placed one in front of me and sat down.

“what’s on your mind, layla?” she asked. i took a deep breath.

“you remember a few months ago, i said i had reconnected with an old friend?” i asked, not sure if she would’ve remembered. she nodded, paying close attention.

“well, we’ve still been talking all this time, and i think maybe it’s becoming more than just friendly,” i explained, omitting details once again. she didn’t know a ton about my friends outside of work, but i didn’t want to reveal too much and have her figure out who i was talking about; it was unlikely but i wanted to be careful nonetheless.

“is that a bad thing?” she asked.

“not necessarily, except we have a mutual friend who … i’m not sure how they would react if things became romantic between us,” i explained. “and this person is also far away, so it would be long distance, at least for now.” lisa nodded, considering what i had said.

“i see. this mutual friend- don’t you think they would want the two of you to be happy?” she asked. i thought about it. beth was one of the most understanding people i knew, she could be feisty at times, but she always seemed to want the best for others around her. however, i still wasn’t sure if she would like the idea of me being romantically involved with her brother, especially after we’d been talking behind her back for months.

“i do- but the circumstances make it… difficult. this friend doesn’t know we’ve been talking again.”

“did the person you’re talking to do something to hurt your friend?”

“no- nothing like that,” i sighed. “i don’t know how to properly explain without you knowing all the details.” i admitted.

“you can tell me as much or as little as you want, i promise i won’t judge you and it won’t leave this room. i won’t pressure you for more details but i agree- it is difficult for me to understand the situation completely without knowing more.” as much as i didn’t want her to be right, i appreciated her honesty.

“you swear you won’t tell anyone?” i pleaded. she promised again, and i took a deep breath.

“okay. so the guy, he’s… beth’s older brother,” i admitted, my eyebrows scrunching together as i winced, saying it out loud made it worse i decided.

“i see,” she replied. “is that all?” i laughed audibly.

“isn’t that enough? i’ve known beth since we were 5, and now i maybe have feelings for her brother.”

“did you ever have feelings for him before now? or is this completely new?” lisa asked.

“i mean i had a crush on him as a teenager but it was nothing serious- he was too old for me at the time. but things are different now and - ugh i don’t know talking to him just makes me feel so warm inside. is that weird?” she giggled.

“no, it’s not weird. how did you two start talking again? you said he’s far away?”

“he’s stationed in iraq,” i explained. “which means that i worry about something happening to him all the time,” i sighed for the millionth time; it did feel good to finally get some of this off my chest. “he called me one night a few months ago. he said beth didn’t answer and my phone number was the only other one he could think of - from when beth and i would hang out all the time and call each other. that was about a week before he called me here that day and you asked about it.” i felt a weight off my shoulders, now that i wasn’t keeping all of this inside, and i knew that i could trust lisa not to tell anyone. she seemed to be taking in all the information for a moment before she spoke.

“layla, i think you’re worrying too much about this. worrying about his safety is understandable, and unfortunately there’s not much i can say to make you feel better in that regard. however, i will say- i don’t know beth very well but from what i’ve seen and from what you’ve told me about her, she loves you very much, and i think she would be happy for you. can you think of any reason she wouldn’t want you to be with him, other than the fact that he is her brother?” i considered what she said.

“no, i can’t. if he was just a guy i’m sure she would be happy for me. he’s funny, protective- and i think i’m really falling for him, lees.” i admitted.

“does he know you feel this way about him? and does he know you’re so worried about beth finding out?”

“no- i mean maybe he knows i’m interested. the last few weeks we have definitely been a little more flirty when we talk, but we can never talk for very long, usually just 5 minutes or so. i told him last night that i used to have a thing for him and i thought he said something like it would’ve been nice to know at the time but i may have just heard him wrong,” i sipped my coffee again. “then after we got off the phone i couldn’t stop thinking about the likely possibility of him never coming home-“ i choke on the words as i said them, and tears fell from my eyes.

“oh honey,” lisa said, getting up and coming to my side of the table, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. i cried into her shoulder, as she held me in her arms. “i can’t imagine how hard this is, but i think you need to tell him how you feel. keeping this inside isn’t good for you, and as much as i appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me, there isn’t much i can do to help, that’s up to you and him; and beth.” i nodded.

“you’re right, of course.” i laughed, as she once again proved she was wise beyond her years. “what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“that’s unfortunately a risk you have to take, but from the little bit you’ve told me, he sounds like a great guy, and i’m sure even if he didn’t feel the same way, he wouldn’t be a dick about it.” that didn’t make me feel a whole lot better, but i knew she was right; if travis thought it was weird for me to have a crush on him, he probably would’ve said something last night when i mentioned that i had a thing for him before. at least, that’s what i was telling myself.

“thank you lisa, i feel better now that i’ve talked to you about it,” i admitted.

“you’re so welcome, layla. feel free to keep me updated if you want, but i think you’ve got this.” she smiled. “do you need a ride home?” she asked. i shook my head.

“no, i drove today. i’m supposed to hang out with beth tomorrow; maybe i’ll work up the courage to tell her. i think it might be better to wait until i know for sure what’s going on between travis and i though.”

“he has a name!” lisa teased playfully. i giggled.

“if you ever need to talk, i’m here for you layla.”

“thank you. the same goes for you- but i think you’ve got your life together way more than i do.” we both laughed, and i hugged her one more time before heading out to my car and driving home.

three weeks went by with no word from travis, and it was safe to say i was losing my mind. the endless possibilities of why he hadn’t called had me pulling my hair out; had something happened to him? did i freak him out when i said i used to have a thing for him and now he didn’t wanna talk to me? any confidence i had gained from talking to lisa had dwindled away as i sat waiting for the phone to ring every night.

beth had invited me for dinner tonight, and as much as i didn’t want to go, i knew i needed to get out of the house. i finished getting ready, not putting too much effort into my appearance, but enough that it looked like i had been sleeping like a normal human. i drove the short distance to her apartment, and after she buzzed me into the building, ai took the elevator up and knocked on the door, a bottle of wine in my hand.

“hey! come in,” she greeted with a smile on her face. i shut the door behind me as beth took the wine from my hand so i wouldn’t drop it. she pulled me into a hug, as she always did, and i reciprocated it happily. “how have you been?” she asked.

“i’ve been okay,” i answered. i couldn’t really tell her that i’d been stressed about her brother for the last few weeks, so i decided not to elaborate. “how about you!”

“i’ve been good- just working as usual. i finally got a huge project finished at work this week, so we’re gonna celebrate!” i smiled as she opened the bottle of wine and poured each of us a glass. “the project at work was a nightmare- i’m so glad it’s finally over. what’s new with you?” she asked, sipping her drink. i shook my head.

“nothing, just working as well. there’s one regular who keeps trying to ask me out, he won’t get the message that i’m not interested.” i rolled my eyes. he wasn’t an unattractive guy, just not my type; besides the fact that i was interested in someone else already.

“maybe a date wouldn’t be a bad idea,” beth said, which took me by surprise.

“he’s not my type-“

“no i didn’t mean with him- but when was the last time you went out with someone? or were even interested in somebody?” she asked. she was right, i had been single for a while. there were a few guys i had dated in my early twenties, but never anything really serious, all of the relationships fizzling out after just a few months, if not less.

“i don’t know- i don’t know if i’m really looking for that kind of commitment right now,” i tried to brush off the subject.

“i didn’t say you had to marry someone, i just thought it might be nice for you to meet someone,” beth clarified.

“i know. i’m just not really looking right now.” i answered honestly, leaving out the tiny detail that the reason i wasn’t looking is because i had already found someone i wanted.

“what about you? how are things with you and jacob?” i asked, once again thing to change the subject from me to her; which with beth, always worked.

“things are going well actually. he’s really sweet, and he’s a good listener, which we both know you need to be to put up with me,” she laughed at herself and i smiled, happy that my best friend had seemingly found a good guy. they had been seeing each other for months now, and i had met him once or twice before, but never had any extended conversations with him. “i’m gonna order pizza- i think i have a coupon somewhere,” she said, as she got up and began to dig through one of the kitchen drawers.

“sounds good,” i sipped my wine again, not wanting to rush through the glass as i still had to drive home and i didn’t plan on drinking more than one.

it was around 20 minutes later when the phone rang, and beth got up to grab it off the counter.

“it’s probably the pizza- i told the guy to buzz this suite when he gets here,” she explained before greeting the person on the other line with a simple “hello,” a surprised look came over her face, before she spoke more cheerfully. “hey! god it’s really good to hear from you, i was starting to worry,” she said, and my heat skipped a beat. “i’ve been good, how about you?” i couldn’t hear the person on the other side of the call, but i was pretty sure it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy. whoever she was talking to, they carried on a short conversation before beth’s phone buzzed in her hand, signaling that she’s received a text. “oh shit, i ordered pizza and the guy just texted that he can’t buzz up to get in the building since the line is busy- i’ll have to run down and grab it.” she said, after glancing at the message she had received. “sorry to run away on you travis- i would make him wait out there but it’s cold outside. layla is here, i know you guys aren’t close but do you wanna talk to her?” suddenly i was being handed the phone as beth called over her shoulder that she’d be right back, before running out the door with her keys in hand.

“hello?” i answered, putting the phone to my ear.

“hey darlin.” travis’s voice sounded through the phone, and i felt the butterflies in my stomach again.

“hey travis. it’s really good to hear your voice,” i said honestly.

“yours too. i’m really sorry i haven’t called, baby, things got a little crazy over here and we had to go silent for a few weeks.” he explained, and i was so in shock to hear from him i almost didn’t catch the nickname.

“i’m just really glad you’re not hurt… or-“ i trailed off, not wanting to say it.

“i’m sorry to put you through all this. i hope you haven’t been too worried,” he sighed. “what have you been up to?”

“just working mostly, nothing too exciting. beth and i were just having a girls night to celebrate a project she finished at work, but i’ll let her tell you about it when you talk to her next.” i didn’t want to steal her thunder, since i knew how excited she was to have done it.

“is she back yet?” he asked, lowering his voice a little.

“not yet, but i’m sure she will be any minute now- why do you ask?”

“does she know about us yet?” he asked, and i froze.

“us?” i asked hesitantly, not sure if i was reading too much into his choice of words.

“layla, i really like you. i’m sorry if that’s weird but-“

“it’s not weird.” i assured him, feeling like i was on cloud nine. “i really like you too, travis.”

“that’s a relief.” he said, laughing slightly. “believe me, i am so happy to hear you say that, but i don’t think we should tell beth, for now at least.”

“i agree- i don’t know what she would think,”

“i think she would tear me a new one, for stealing you from ‘er and all, but i think eventually she’d come around,” he joked. i could see that, but i still worried about how she would react. “i mean it though, layla- i wanna give this a try,” he said seriously.

“so do i, travis,” i heard the door opening down the hall, and beth walked in with the pizzas. “your sister is back, i’ll let you say hi to her again.” i said, getting up to trade the phone off to her. she was still far enough away that she wouldn’t hear travis on the other end of the call, which i was grateful for as he spoke softly.

“alright, darlin’. i’ll try to call you tomorrow,”

“okay,” i smiled, as beth turned the corner into the kitchen and i handed her the phone, taking the food from her as she used up the last minute or two travis had with the phone.

“i hope you didn’t bore her while i was gone.” i smiled to myself as beth teased her older brother, my back thankfully turned to her so she couldn’t see the blush creeping over my face. i tuned out the rest of their conversation, before she said goodbye and set the phone on the counter again, as i turned around with plates from the cupboard.

“sorry to leave you stuck talking to him, but he doesn’t get to call very often, so i didn’t want to just hang up.” she joked, and i couldn’t help but feel extremely guilty. i was part of the reason he didn’t call her as often, and i wondered what he had told her if she had asked why his calls were less frequent. i knew he used to call her almost every week, but now that usually i heard from him once a week, i wondered if he still got to talk to her as well.

“it’s okay- it was nice to hear from him actually,” i said honestly, although she didn’t know just how happy i really was to talk to him.

“it’s been a few weeks since i heard from him actually, i was starting to worry a little.” she admitted, putting a slice of pizza on her plate. i felt the guilty feeling again, wishing i could tell her i knew how she felt. it was kind of funny, in a sad way; here i was sat next to my friend, both missing the same person, and i couldn’t talk to her about it. i wanted to comfort her, and tell her i understood, but i knew that it was for the best to keep what travis and i had a secret, at least for now.

“i’m glad he’s okay,” i agreed. “do you have any idea when he’ll be back?” i asked, but she shook her head.

“not really. when he left they said anywhere from six to eighteen months, so it could be tomorrow or it could be a while longer. i guess we’ll just have to wait and see. he’s been gone almost a year now.”

“that’s a long time,” i commented, not knowing what else to say. she nodded.

“enough talk about travis though- i don’t wanna be bummed out all night. i’m just glad i finally heard from him. and it’s nice he got to talk to you- i think he gets bored of talking to me sometimes, which is fair. sometimes we don’t have anything to update each other on when he calls.” she laughed. i smiled, feeling a little better knowing that she was happy with the idea of us talking; without the romantic feelings at least.

we both finished eating our pizza and chatted about our lives, just catching up and joking around, until i had to get going.

“you’re sure you don’t wanna just stay over? i don’t mind.” beth offered, and i considered it, but eventually shook my head.

“i would, but i have to work early tomorrow and my uniform and stuff is at home. next time.” i promised. she smiled and hugged me goodbye. i drove home, feeling conflicted. i was very happy with how things were between travis and i, but i felt even worse now about lying to beth, since i had now done it straight to her face. i sighed heavily as i pulled into the garage of my apartment building before heading up to my suite.

i crawled into my bed, still in my jeans and sweater, and started to cry. i cried because i missed travis, and i cried for my best friend, who was also missing her big brother, and for how awful i felt for keeping secrets from her.

my eyes were puffy when i looked in the mirror the next morning, my makeup from last night in streaks down my face. i hopped in the shower, the hot water helping me relax a little. i washed off the traces of makeup that the shower didn’t, the cool cloth thankfully taking down the swelling of my eyelids at least a little. i managed to cover the rest of it up with some concealer and mascara, before grabbing my gab and heading out the door.

lisa thankfully didn’t comment on my appearance when i arrived, just said a friendly hello as i walked to the back to get my apron on and wash my hands to start working.

it was pretty steady with customers for the first few hours, and i didn’t notice one of the regulars lingering around the counter even after getting his order. i looked up to see that it was the guy who kept asking for my number, and i sighed.

“was there anything else i could get for you today?” i asked, in my best cheerful customer service voice.

“actually, i really want to order your number, but i don’t see it on the menu….” he trailed off, and i had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

“i guess you’ll have to order something else then,” i would usually politely decline, but i particularly wasn’t in the middle to entertain his advances today.

“damn… i was really craving a date with you.”

“i’m flattered really. but i’m not interested.” i said finely but still polite enough to hopefully not piss him off too much. lisa seemed to notice him not leaving, but was with a customer and couldn’t come check on me, so she gave me a glance as if to ask if i was okay. i nodded at her, and turned back to the customer, who was still trying to convince me to go out with him.

“again i’m really flattered, but i’m just trying to do my job. and not that it’s any of your business but i have a boyfriend.” i told him, getting annoyed with him at this point. he looked a little shocked at how stern my voice was.

“you could’ve just said that at the start.”

“me saying no should be a valid reason, i shouldn’t need to be with someone for you to accept that i’m not interested.” i defended. he seemed to finally get the message, and took his coffee and left, shaking his head as he walked out. the store was basically empty now, as lisa wrapped up the transaction with her customer, who thanked her and dropped a small handful of change into the tip jar.

“why don’t you go on your break? the store’s quiet enough and you deserve a breather after having to deal with that guy,” lisa suggested, walking over to me. i nodded, grabbing a cookie out of the display and heading to the break room, sighing heavily as i sat down. with impeccable timing, my phone started to ring in my pocket, and i saw travis’s name flash across the screen.

“hey!” i answered cheerfully, my mood improving greatly just from his call.

“hey baby, how is your day goin?” he asked. i smiled at the nickname once again, deciding that i liked the way it sounded coming from him a lot. my smile faltered slightly as i thought of how my day had been so far.

“it’s alright; i’m just on my break at work after one of our regulars kept asking for my number.” i sighed.

“do i need to come back home and kick his ass for you? because i will if you ask me to,” he said, and he almost sounded serious.

“no- it’s okay. i told him i had a boyfriend and he finally got the memo that i wasn’t interested.”

“boyfriend huh? what’s he like?” he joked, and i could tell he knew damn well that i had meant him, and i was grateful he didn’t make it weird that i had called him that. we hadn’t officially put a label on things yet after all, having only confessed our feelings last night, but i don’t think he minded.

“he’s tall, very handsome, built like a tank- but he’s very far away right now,” i replied, and travis laughed.

“he sounds like a keeper,” i could hear the smile in his voice. “and i’m sure he can’t wait to get home to see you. did you have fun at beth’s last night?”

“i did. i definitely didn’t expect to hear from you while i was there. we talked about you afterwards- she really misses you. i wish i could tell her i miss you too.” i admitted. i didn’t want to make him feel bad for keeping our blossoming relationship a secret, but i also didn’t want to lie to him and give him the impression that i enjoyed lying to her.

“i know darlin’- i want to tell her about us too, i just don’t know how or when. i hate lying to her too.” he said, and i felt a little better knowing he felt the same way i did. “i have some news- and i don’t know anything for sure yet so i don’t want to get your hopes up, but it sounds like we might be finishing things up here soon. maybe just a few more weeks to fix the pump station and then the village’ll have water again.”

“that’s great, travis!” i exclaimed. “does that mean you might be coming home soon?” i asked hesitantly.

“it’s possible- i don’t know anything for sure yet, though.”

“keep me updated?” i asked.

“i will, baby,” he assured me. “i really miss seeing your face. i know things were different before- i mean things are different now, but…”

“i really miss you too,” i confessed.

“i gotta give up the phone now, but i’ll try to call soon, okay? and if that guy gives you anymore trouble you tell me okay?” he added, causing me to laugh.

“i will, i promise.”

“good girl,” he said, before hanging up. i couldn’t help the smile that was plastered to my face. travis had a habit of calling when i needed to talk to him most, and he definitely cheered me up. i quickly ate the cookie i had grabbed before heading back out into the store, which was still pretty quiet thankfully; i would’ve hated to leave lisa on her own during a rush.

“hey, you look like you’re having a better day already- was the cookie really that good?” she asked as i joined her behind the counter again.

“i talked to travis-“

“that explains it,” she smiled. “you finally heard from him?” she asked, knowing that i hadn’t heard from him for a few weeks.

“yeah, i actually talked to him last night too. i was at beth’s and he called her, but she had to run out so she passed him off to me. she had no idea how happy i was to talk to him, and we kinda confessed our feelings for eachother.” i admitted.

“that’s great- does beth know yet?” she asked, and i shook my head. “that’s okay; one step at a time, right?”

“exactly. and travis knows how i feel about lying to beth, he feels the same way i do. i’m sure we’ll tell her soon,” i explained. “i called him my boyfriend,” i blushed.

“what did he say!” lisa prodded excitedly.

“he didn’t seem upset about it,” i smiled, and she hugged me.

“oh layla, i’m so happy for you,” she insisted, and i couldn’t stop smiling. i felt like a teenager again, talking to her friend about her crush at a sleepover or something, and i had to admit, it was kinda fun. “now hopefully he comes home soon, so you can introduce me to him.”

“yeah, hopefully he does.”

two more weeks went by, and i was counting the days obsessively, since i had received the news from travis that he would be coming home in a month. that meant i would only have to wait three more weeks until i would get to see him. he had told beth as well, and she had told me, not knowing that i was already aware.

“what kind of cake do you think we should get for the party this time?” beth asked. i was at her apartment, helping her plan the welcome home party.

“hmmm - what kind is travis’s favourite?” i asked.

“i think just vanilla- he kinda stopped eating junk food and stuff when he started working out to join the military,” she recalled. i remembered when he had first mentioned it, beth and i had thought he was joking, or at least wouldn’t actually go through with it; we realized pretty quickly he was actually serious about it. we were about 19 when he actually left for the first time, and it was really hard for beth, and it was difficult for me, even back then.

“i think that’s a pretty safe choice. there won’t be too many people, right?” i asked. usually when beth threw going away / homecoming parties it was only a few close friends, and i was hopeful that would be the case again this time. i was nervous about having to hide the fact that travis and i were dating from more people, and i knew that the fact that i would have to act like we weren’t together was going to be a little difficult. regardless, i was still looking forward to the party, and i had offered to help beth with it this time around. thankfully she was happy to have my help, and wasn’t suspicious of why i was interested.

“no, the same as usual. i’m considering inviting jacob, but travis doesn’t know him, so i’m not sure if it would be awkward,” she admitted.

“i don’t think he would mind. have you told travis about him yet?” i asked, knowing that i had mentioned that beth was seeing someone to him, but i wasn’t sure if she had told him herself.

“yeah- he gave me the whole ‘if he hurts you i’ll kill him’ speech,” she laughed. “i swear i’ve never met anyone as protective as he is. i wonder what he would do if you started dating someone,” she said. i puzzled look crossed my face.

“what do you mean?” i asked her.

“well he’s always been just a protective of you as he is of me, maybe even more. he never punched any of my boyfriends in the face to defend my honour.” she said lightheartedly.

“i’m sure he would’ve if they deserved it,” i laughed, kind of surprised she remembered that.

“ya know, i actually kinda thought maybe he had a crush on you after that night, but i guess not; i’m sure he would’ve said something about it if he had.” my heart was beating incredible fast, and once again i was happy to be turned away from her so she could see how warm my face was getting.

“i doubt it- i’m sure he was just being a good friend,” i tried to brush it off.

“regardless, i know he cares about you.” she said. “and i hope he finds someone someday, i know his job makes things complicated, but i want him to be happy, you know?”she said genuinely, and i smiled at her.

“i’m sure he will; he’s a great guy. any girl would be lucky to have him.” i replied.

“you will find someone too, layla. i know you said you’re not looking right now, but one day i mean, when you’re ready,” she assured me, and i pulled her into a hug.

“thanks, beth. i hope you’re right.” she wiggled out of my grip and continued looking at the website of the bakery she had found online, at the various cake options.

“hey, if you both get really desperate, maybe you and travis could get together,” she teased, and i tried to just laugh it off. “you guys might actually be a good couple, now that i think about it.” i was more than relieved to hear her say that, and at that moment i really did think about telling her about travis and i. i ultimately decided against it, not wanting to let the secret out without asking travis first. i’m sure he wouldn’t have been mad, since we both wanted to finally tell her, but i figured better to be safe than sorry.

“you think so?” i laughed.

“yeah actually,” she said, more serious now. “oh! look how pretty this cake is!” she said, thankfully changing the subject as she pointed to a cake on her laptop screen.

“that is really pretty- wow,” i agreed. it was a white cake with plain white frosting, but there were cherries on top and space to add writing if you wanted to.

“i think i’m gonna order it,” beth stated, and i nodded.

“i can help you pay for everything- i’m sure with all the food and everything these parties can get quite expensive.”

“you don’t have to do that-“

“i want to, beth. what can i pay for?” i insisted. she seemed to think for a moment.

“actually, there is something you could do.”

“for sure-“

“my boss wasn’t able to give me the day off for when travis gets home, so would you be able to pick him up from the airport? i know it’s a lot to ask-“

“it’s not a lot to ask beth. i’ll do it.” i smiled.

“thank you so much, layla. it’s only about an hour drive so it shouldn’t be too bad.” she explained, although secretly i was happy that i would be getting at least a little bit of time alone with travis. it would maybe make it easier to pretend we were just friends if i got to see him one on one first.

“i’m sure it will be fine,” i assured her.

“you’re the best,” she smiled.

“anything for you,” i replied. little did she know how happy i was with the task i had been given.

it was a few days before i heard from travis again, and i got to tell him that i would be picking him up at the airport. i would’ve kept it a surprise, but i hate surprises, so i decided not to just show up when he was expecting his sister.

“hey baby,” travis’ voice sounded through the phone, bringing a smile to my face.

“hey you,” i replied, sitting down on my bed.

“what are you up to?” he asked. i always appreciated how he was interested in my day.

“i was just looking through my closet for something to wear for when you come home.” i answered honestly. i wasn’t planning on dressing too fancy or anything, but i obviously wanted to look nice.

“yeah? whatever you choose you’ll look great, darlin’. what are the options so far?” he asked, and i was surprised that he sounded genuinely interested.

“i’m trying to decide between a dress or jeans and a sweater. did beth tell you the slight change in plans?”

“she didn’t; should i be nervous?” he laughed.

“no need to be nervous. she wasn’t able to get the day off when you come home so she asked me if i could pick you up from the airport,” i explained. “if that’s okay with you- i mean.”

“of course that’s okay, darlin’. in that case, as much as i’d love to see you in a pretty dress, you’d probably be more comfortable driving in jeans, yeah?” i blushed, and agreed.

“you’re right. thank you,” i replied. “beth and i had an interesting conversation the other day actually.”

“you’re scaring me again, layla,” he teased.

“we were talking about relationships and stuff; she’s worried about bringing her boyfriend to the party when you get home- since you don’t know him,” i explained.

“i’ll have to ask her if she’s bringin’ him, then she won’t feel weird about it.” he noted. he really was a good big brother, and i could tell he really cared about beth having jacob there if she wanted to. “was that all?” he asked.

“no, actually. she started talking about how she hopes both you and i find someone someday, and then said if we don’t we should just get together- she’s decided we’d make a good couple,” i smiled.

“that’s great- maybe she won’t be too upset when we tell her we’re already together then. unless you already told her?” he asked.

“no, i thought about it, but i didn’t want to without asking you first. i didn’t think it would be fair.”

“i appreciate that. she’ll find out soon enough; i don’t know how i’m gonna keep may hands off you when i get home,” he admitted, and i felt my face getting warm.

“yeah? well, we’ll have an hour in the car on the way from the airport….” i trailed off.

“you’re killin’ me, baby. i don’t want you to get the idea that that’s all i care about, but you’re not making it easy to not think about,”

“don’t worry, i’m thinking about it too.” i confessed. i wanted more than anything to be able to kiss him, to touch him, just to have him close to me.

“how many days we got left?” he asked.

“seventeen,” i said. “sixteen if you don’t count today,”

“the longest sixteen days of my life,”

“i know,” i sighed. “i can’t believe it’s almost been five months since you first called me,” i admitted.

“has it? best decision i ever made. in a way it feels like longer, but shorter at the same time,” he said.

“yeah, i know what you mean.”

“but hey, if four months can fly by, so can two weeks,” he said, and i tried to be as optimistic as he was.

“you’re right. i just really miss you,” i admitted.

“i miss you too baby,” he said; and i decided i would never get tired of hearing him call me that. “i gotta go, i’ll call you soon, okay?”

“yes, sir,” i replied, to which he was silent for a moment.

“lord, you really are tryna kill me,” he groaned, and it sent a shiver up my spine.

it was gonna be a very long two weeks.

it was finally the day, travis was coming home. i had talked to him the night before, and he let me know when and where to meet him at the airport. his flight was supposed to arrive at noon, so i was out the door by 10:30 in the morning to make sure i was on time to pick him up.

getting dressed in a pair of comfy jeans and a dark red sweater, and just doing some casual hair and makeup, i had breakfast and got on the road. i had spent the majority of yesterday stress cleaning my apartment; as travis and i had decided that after the party we would sneak back here, since his house had been empty the whole time he was away, and wouldn’t be in a state to host guests; not that i cared.

my hands hurt from gripping the steering wheel so tight as i parked at the airport, about 30 minutes before travis’ flight was supposed to arrive. i sat down outside the baggage claim area and checked my phone to see a text from beth.

let me know when you’ve picked him up! and thank you again! 💖

i smiled, replying to let her know that i would, and that once again, i didn’t mind. i tried to calm my nerves as the minutes ticked by, travis’ flight now only supposed to be 10 minutes away. i had to remind myself that while things were different between us now, he was still the same travis i had known almost my whole life, and i didn’t need to be nervous around him. it helped a little bit, and i managed to turn my nerves back into excitement; finally i was seeing the person i dreamed of being near for months.

when finally about 20 minutes later he came into view, his large backpack over his shoulder, i felt my eyes start to water. i had promised myself i would try not to make a big scene in public, and i intended on keeping that one. when he was finally within reach, he set his bag down and pulled me into his arms, picking me up off the ground, and my arms looped behind his neck.

“hey baby,” he said softly, and i found it incredibly hard not to cry; finally being in his arms after so long. it felt like home.

“hey,” i replied, not letting go of him for a solid minute. he finally set my feet back down on the ground, and pulled away to look at me. i’m sure i looked like a mess by now, my eyes wet with tears that i was trying desperately to keep in. his hands went to the sides of my face and the pads of his thumbs gently wiped the droplets from my eyes.

“don’t cry darlin’- im here.”

“im just really happy to see you,” i confessed, hugging him again, this time my arms around his torso. his large biceps almost fully encased me against his chest, as he kissed the top of my head.

“i love you, layla,” he said softly into my hair, and i could’ve melted on the spot.

“i love you too, travis,” i spoke, my voice muffled by his muscular chest, but i could tell he heard me, since his arms tightened around me. he loosened his grip on me enough that i could look up at his face. his eyes were even more blue than i remembered. his beard was longer than when he left, but it looked like he had trimmed it recently, probably before flying home. his hair starting to grow out as well, no longer buzzed short, and i could start to see the start of his curls coming back in. “can i kiss you?” i asked timidly, and a smile broke out on his face.

“of course you can, baby,” he answered, and tilted my chin upward with his finger gently, until my lips met his. i had kissed people before, but it was never like this, and i realized that i had never felt for anyone the way that i felt for travis. when he kissed me it felt like i was breathing air for the first time, like our lips were perfectly molded to fit together. when we separated, travis placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“ready to go?” i asked. he nodded, swinging his backpack over his broad shoulders and taking my hand in his. “i have to text beth and let her know i found you.” i said remembering that i told her i would message her once i had picked him up.

“any chance you could tell her we can’t make it to the party?” he joked, and i smiled, hitting his chest playfully. “i’m only joking- sorta.”

“there will be plenty of time for just us later. your sister and your friends missed you too, ya know,” i teased. the guest list for the party included beth, jacob, and a couple of guys travis had been close with in high school and stayed in touch with after graduation.

“i know, darlin’,” he said, dropping my hand as we got to the car in the lot. “can i drive?” he asked.

“you don’t wanna just relax? i don’t mind driving.” i assured him.

“i haven’t gotten to drive a normal car in over a year, and you already drove all the way up here. you get to be the passenger princess from now on,” he smiled, extending his hand for me to give him the keys. i smiled, placing them in his hand and letting him open the passenger door for me to get in, making sure i had all my limbs in the vehicle before shutting the door. he adjusted the seat to accommodate his height and got in the driver seat, quickly adjusting the mirrors before placing the key in the ignition. “ready?” he asked, to which i nodded.

the drive was nice, an old lynyrd skynyrd cd playing quietly through the speakers, as travis drove with one hand on the wheel, the other placed on my thigh just above my knee, occasionally giving it a gentle squeeze.

“have you thought up a lie for why you need to take me home yet?” i asked him. “do you think people will be suspicious if we leave together?”

“not since you picked me up, no. we could just say you’re driving me to my own place. no one’s gonna check if i’m actually there or not.” he suggested.

“we run the risk of beth offering for you to spend the night at her place though.”

“that’s true. we could tell them the truth,” he suggested. that was always an option.

“it’s up to you. i’m fine with what you want to do, but if we tell them there’s gonna be a million questions… meaning we’ll have to stay longer…” i let my sentence trail off. “which seems like a shame, when there’s other things we could be doing instead.”

“fuck- yeah we can’t tell them-“ he decided quickly, and i giggled. “that’s the most beautiful sound i ever heard.” he stated, looking at me and smiling. i kissed him quickly, so he could turn his eyes back to the road. we were nearing beth’s apartment now, and i realized it meant for the next few hours, travis and i would have to act like we were just friends. it was definitely doable but that didn’t mean it was gonna be easy, especially since now he was looking at me like he was about to pull over and tear my clothes off, which i honestly wouldn’t have minded.

“ready to pretend to be platonically acquainted?” he teased, as if reading my mind, and i sighed.

“yes- but not looking forward to it.” i admitted.

“we’ll tell them soon, i promise. okay?” he said, i knew he wasn’t happy about it either.

“okay,” i said, defeated. i finally had him and now i had to act like i wasn’t head over heels for him.

“good girl,” he hummed, squeezing my thigh again. okay, that definitely didn’t help, i thought. we pulled into the parking lot at beth’s apartment complex, and travis kissed me softly before we got out of the car and headed inside.

the party was now nearing an end, and as happy as i was to see beth and travis reunite, it had been as anticipated; very difficult to act like we weren’t together. the food and cake had been great, and i was feeling the tiniest buzz after the wine cooler i had earlier, but i had to pretend i was too drunk to drive home so travis had an excuse to give me a ride. we had decided that was the best option to get us both out of here.

“you okay, layla?” travis asked, walking over to me, where i pretended to sway a tiny bit where i stood. i nodded.

“yeah, i’m okay. i think i’m gonna head home though. it’s really nice to have you back,” i said, which was the truth. he gave me a friendly looking hug, and i walked toward the kitchen to say goodbye to beth. i found her tidying up some of the snacks left on the counter.

“hey beth, i think i’m gonna head home - it’s been a long day,” i said. she smiled.

“thank you for coming! and for picking travis up for me, you’re a life saver.” she pulled me into a hug, which i returned; i truly loved my best friend.

“it was no big deal,” i assured her. i turned around to see travis walk into the kitchen from the other entrance and leant against the doorframe, smiling. “he insisted on driving on the way back here anyway, so i only did half the work.”

“i appreciate it regardless, darlin’,” he laughed. i said goodnight to the siblings, and pretended to stumble a little as i walked toward the front door to put my shoes on.

“are you okay to drive, lay?” beth asked, and i assured her i was, but bumped into the wall lightly to sell that fact that i was supposedly a little tipsy.

“let me drive you home, layla.” travis offered. i started to protest, but he interrupted me. “it’s the least i could do, after you picked me up today.”

“thanks travis,” beth said, deciding for me that it was a good idea; thankfully she didn’t suggest me staying the night like i worried she might.

“ready to go?” travis asked, sliding his boots on and taking the keys from my hand. i nodded, saying goodbye to beth as travis led me out of the apartment, a gentle grip on my shoulder as we walked down the hallway. once we got in the elevator, travis barely waited for the door to shut before pressing his lips to mine, and i returned the kiss eagerly. my back hit the wall with a soft thud as he stepped toward me, effectively pinning me in the corner of the small elevator car.

“i swear, that was the longest 6 hours of my life,” he breathed, forehead resting on mine as his hands fiddled with the bottom hem of my shirt. “you’re a pretty good actress, you actually looked tipsy for a minute there,”

“i’m motivated,” i answered, pressing my lips to his again, only separating when the elevator beeped to say the we had arrived at the main floor. the door opened and he led me to the car, before driving to my apartment with the help of my directions, his hand on my thigh once again, this time higher than before, causing my heart to beat quickly. after the longest 15 minute drive ever, we pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building, and travis parked the car before walking around to open my door for me. taking my hand, we walked to the front door, his lips dancing across my neck and shoulders as i fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the front door.

“you’re very distracting,” i chastised, finally unlocking the door and leading him inside. it was just a single flight of stairs up to my unit, and i quickly unlocked that door as well, before we tumbled inside. i dropped my purse to the floor and travis shut the door, my body positioned between him and it as he locked the door and kissed me again. my hands found his chest, sliding his jacket off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor, and pulling him closer by the belt loops of his pants. he groaned into the kiss, before pulling away slightly.

“you’re not actually drunk, right? i don’t want to-“

“no, i’m not. i only had one when we got to the party.” he nodded, before his lips found my neck, leaving lazy kisses up to my ear, as he toyed with the bottom of my sweater again, silently asking to remove it.

“travis…” i whined as he gently nipped at the skin on my jaw, his tongue soothing the sting of his teeth.

“are you sure? it’s been a while, darlin’- i can’t promise i’ll last very long..” he hesitated, his hands at the button of my jeans, waiting for permission to go further.

“i’m sure travis,” i reassured him. “i need this.” with that he kissed my lips again, and let me guide him to my bedroom.

i laid next to travis, our legs entwined under the sheets keeping our bodies covered, my head on his chest that rose and fell quickly as we both caught our breath. his arms wrapped around my waist as i moved to face him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“i love you,” i said softly.

“say that again darlin’” he smiled, his eyes closed.

“i love you,” i repeated, and he looked at me, before kissing me deeply. i laid my head back down on his chest, and one hand gently caressed my hair, the other delicately drawing patterns on the bare skin on my hip.

“i love you too baby,” he replied, and i felt more content than i ever had; in the arms of the person i loved most in the world after being apart for so long. a thought crossed my mind, which made a sinking feeling grow in my chest.

“do you know how long you’re home for?” i asked him quietly, afraid of what the answer might be. he sighed.

“you really want to talk about that right now?” he asked.

“i knew going into this that your job wasn’t gonna make this easy. i want us to be honest with each other. and i want you; that means everything that comes with you,” i explained. he held me tighter.

“i don’t know for sure, but usually 3-6 months.” he said. i obviously wished it could be longer, but i was just happy to have him home with me for any amount of time. “we can worry about that later though. we gotta worry about something a lot scarier first-“ i looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, not sure what he meant, but he just smiled.

“we have to tell beth about us.” he said, his tone serious as if he had said we had to climb a mountain.

“i think that’s doable,” i laughed, the happiest i had been in a very long time. “but not tonight; i want you all to myself for one night.” travis kissed me, and i smiled against his lips as his arms held me close to him, and i could feel his heart beating against mine.

“you’ll have me for as long as you want, darlin’”

#henry cavill #henry cavill characters #captain syverson #sand castle netflix #sand castle #captain syverson playlist #syverson imagine #syverson fic #captain syverson imagine #captain syverson fic #henry cavill fic #henry cavill imagine

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magoapple · 1 year ago

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Surprise

Bangchan x Neutral Reader

Word Count: 1,213

Genre: Fluff with suggestive actions (making out and some language)

Warnings: None other than chessy flirting, alcohol consumption, and kissing

Summary: You and Chan meet at a party he's hosting. A few drinks later and you just can't stop yourself from wanting all his attention on you.

Usually, you would not find yourself at the door of a party, let alone one that was hosted by a frat. With hesitation, you slowly raised your hand and knocked on the door a few times. While waiting for someone to open the door, you could hear the loud music pumping outside, nervousness, and excitement filled your stomach quickly at the sound of a lock being opened. You were met with a muscular build and dark hair. Before you could register who was there, Kevin pushed the male a side and grabbed your hand. “Geez Y/N where have you been? I texted you almost an hour ago.” You grabbed your phone and looked at your messages.

“I- Kevin, it has not been almost an hour, it's only been 15 minutes!” Your friend huffed before dragging you to the kitchen. The counter was full of solo cups. Some were full, but most were empty and scattered around. “Whose party even is this and who was that at the door?”

“Oh, that was Chan, he's the host. I'm surprised you don't know him.” You gave Kevin a face. Of course, you didn't know him. If he was the host, he most definitely didn't know you either. See around campus you normally kept to yourself or hung around Kevin and Chan was the complete opposite. You've seen him around and couldn't lie that he was madly attractive. However, you knew he probably would not go for someone like you. Therefore, keeping to yourself was deemed the best option for yourself.

You were happy with your tiny friend group, but it would be nice to know more people, and that's most likely why you let Kev convince you this party was the best thing for you. Speaking of your best friend, as you looked to your side, you noticed he was gone. You were about to complain until the dark-haired male from earlier came into your view. “Hey, don't think I've seen you at any parties. Are you new on campus?” The question hurt, but you knew he didn't mean any harm and that it was genuinely curious. “Oh uh no I'm a third year, just don't party much, I'm Y/N.” Chan took your hand and shook it.

His hands were so soft yet strong at the same time, and you didn't want to let go. A clear of the throat from him was all it took for you to quickly retract your hand and awkwardly laugh. The air seemed to get thick, and your mouth felt dry. “Do you want to get something to drink?” Chan chuckled while nodding before he handed you a cup. “I didn't do anything promise, and it's not alcoholic, I'm a gentleman.” You had almost completely forgotten about Kevin while you talked to Chan about random, normal things, until you heard his loud mouth yell body shots.

“Oh god, I think that's my cue to get Kev before he embarrasses other people…” You went to get up but felt a tender hand on your wrist, stopping you. “Y/N right? Don't worry about him, I'm sure almost everyone is drunk, and I'd really like to know you more.” With the look Chan was giving, you would've said yes to anything and everything he asked. “Well, there's not much to know, I'm just a normal young adult trying to mentally and physically make it through college.”

“Aren't we all, but I mean about you, like your interest and stuff.” His statement caught you off guard and a blush spread against your face. No one had really ever asked about you personally. “Well, I really appreciate music and all art forms. Something about the way a simple tune or brushstroke can emit an emotion felt by thousands speaks to me in a way that's hard to explain.” Hearing you talk about art, Chan's smile light up in his face. He was a music major and had actually written a few songs of his own. You spoke about music just like he did, and that enticed him even more towards you.

The further into the night it got, the deeper Chan and your conversation got deeper. As well as more drunk people starting developing. Even you and Chan were a bit tipsy at this point as you became a bit touchy with one another. “You know, I was really skeptical about coming to this party, so you should thank Kevin for me taking all your time here.” Chan let out a dimple smile and intertwined his fingers with yours. “Y/N you can take up all my time because nothing is better than a pretty person who knows their shit.”

“Well the same goes for you, but right now, I want to dance, so are you coming or not?” Chan quickly sat up and grabbed your hand, letting you lead him to where others were dancing up to each other. If you weren't tipsy, you most definitely would not have the confidence to sway your hips against Chan's, yet here you were and neither of you were complaining. In fact, from the view of on lookers, both of you wanted more and that's all you needed to grab Chan's collar and press him against the wall. Once his back hit the wall, a smirk was cast upon his face and eyes looking deeply into yours. “Oh, what's gotten into you?” Honestly, you didn't know either and were a bit worried Chan thought it was too much.

Chan could feel you overthinking, and wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you as close to him as physically possible. “Whatever you're thinking, don't, and please let me kiss you.” If the people around you two were making out, then who says Chan can't kiss you. Obviously, no one but you were still a bit nervous yet excited. “Well what are waiting for lover boy, kiss me.” Your smooth tone was nothing compared to the feeling of how smooth and soft Chan's lips felt against your own. The way he expertly caressed your lips with his and his tongue coming out to swipe across yours was enough to get your whole body heated. He left you wanting more than his lips on yours, however , neither of you were comfortable going that far just yet and especially not in front of people.

Your noses rested against one another's and your breaths were synced. Being this close to Chan put you in a trance that everything else around didn't seem real, even Kevin's hand tapping your shoulder. Curling your eyebrows, you snapped your head back, giving Kevin a glare before he tapped on his watch. Realizing the time and that most people were gone, you had no idea that you and Chan were making out for that long. Kevin walked out, saying he would meet you out the door, deciding you needed a second or two alone. “Well it seemed like I really did take up all your time, dear Chan.” Chan reached up and slid a strand of hair behind your ear. “That in fact you did, and I'd gladly love for you to do it again, say Saturday?” You nodded, giving him a quick peck before typing your number into his phone. “I'll definitely see you there.”

◄Tumblrs system works on reblogs so if you'd like to support my content please reblog but do NOT feel obligated to►

#stray kids #bang chan #fluff #kpop #college au #bangchan x reader #gender neutral reader #fanfic #skz stay #skz ot8

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3hobbitsinatrenchcoat · 1 year ago

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A graveyard snip from my Superbat WIP

I cut this whole scene because it wasn't working but I want to preserve it somewhere because I like the Lois and Clark friendship dynamic.

For some context this is a fic where Clark started dating Matches Malone before he met Bruce Wayne or Batman. Matches has just shot down Clark's request to go to a work function as his plus one. Again.

Under a cut because minor spoilers for my fic XD

Clark’s halfway through throwing on his least terrible suit when his phone pinged three times in rapid succession and he finally decided he’d had enough. He picked it up, expecting to see Matches name splashed across the lockscreen, but felt the blood drain from his face when he’s met with increasingly furious texts from Lois instead.

Lois Lane: [one hour ago] Just a reminder that you signed up to help me organize decorations, so get here asap so we can start setup. Lois Lane: [twenty minutes ago] We have less than two hours before this shindig starts, get your ass over here. Lois Lane: [five minutes ago] Where are you? Lois Lane: [three minutes ago] I swear you better have a good reason for leaving me high and dry with these stupid streamers. Someone better be dying. Lois Lane: [now] That came out wrong. I hope you’re ok, wherever you are. But you owe me big time if you don’t show up in the next ten minutes.

Clark dropped his phone back onto his bed and scrubbed at his face with his hands. In his excitement to ask Matches to come with him he’d forgotten that he’d promised Lois his help.

She knew him well enough that she’d take one look at his face and know something was wrong. Waiting would only make it worse.

“Damnit,” hissed Clark, snatching his phone up and pressing a few buttons before jamming it between his head and shoulder as he struggled with his tie.

It only rang once before Lois’s voice crackled through the speakers. “Clark! I’ve been texting you for an hour! Are you ok?”

“I..” his voice cracked and he knew trying to lie to Lois would end badly. “Physically, yeah. But… I think I fucked up.”

He could hear the odd stereo of Lois both over the speaker and in the distance as she pushed open a door, probably the one into the alley stairwell. A moment later her heels clicked down concrete stairs, confirming his suspicion. When she spoke, her voice was filled with concern. “What do you mean you fucked up?”

Clark let a bark of humorless laughter fill his voice as he slid open his bedroom window and climbed out onto the fire escape. “You know how I wanted to ask Matches to come to this as my plus one?”

“You’ve only been dithering all week,” Lois said. “Don’t tell me you waited until today to ask.”

Clark’s silence seemed to speak for itself and Lois made an exasperated noise. Even over the phone Clark could tell she was pinching the bridge of her nose. “Clark. That is not the kind of thing you spring on your partner.”

“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway,” Clark bit out, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. No one ever was, but it didn’t hurt to check. “I’ll be there in a minute, Lo’.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered? Clark, what…” Clark hung up before Lois could finish asking. He didn’t think he’d be able to get to the Planet office safely if he had to answer over the phone.

Though… he’d hung up on Lois. He’d probably just traded one dangerous situation for another.

The flight across Metropolis was unmercifully quick, with no interruptions to delay the inevitable. Clark winced as he touched down in the usual alleyway, right in front of Lois and her thunderous, toe-tapping fury.

Fury that melted into frank concern as soon as she caught a glimpse of his face.

“Oh Clark,” she sighed, stepping forward and cupping a hand to the side of his face, thumbing away the damp he knew still clung to his cheek. Her mouth thinned into a grim line. “I’m not above killing him for you.”

Despite himself, Clark chuckled. “I’d rather you not kill my partner.”

She relaxed a fraction, patting his cheek before stepping back and fussing with his lapels. “I’ll stick to some light maiming then. You’re still together? Over the phone it sounded like…”

“No!” Clark said a bit too loudly, then winced and dialed his volume back a notch. “No, he just said something stupid and I had to go cool off.” He ducked his head sheepishly. “I was out of cell range for a while there. That’s why I didn’t see your messages.”

“Out of cell… where the fuck did you go?” Lois followed his gaze as his eyes flicked upward and snorted. “Only you, Smallville.”

Clark quirked a lopsided smile and shrugged, shimmying past her to get to the stairs. Lois let him get as far as the door before she reached out and snagged his wrist, spinning him to face her. He could have stood firm, but instead he turned into her touch with amused resignation.

Her face had gone back to thin-lipped worry. “You aren’t getting away that easily. What did you mean ‘it wouldn’t have mattered’?”

“He…” Clark sighed and slumped against the doorframe, staring away and into the dim stairwell. “Matches was never going to come with me to this. He said that putting a man like him in a room full of reporters was ‘throwing chum to sharks’. So I left before I could start yelling.”

#superbat #minor but its still there under all the layers of plaid and smarm #lois and clark friendship #clark kent: disaster man #clark kent #my writing #wip #lois lane #matches malone

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xxanaduwrites · 7 months ago

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DOWNFALL | a.b.

main hub of all important thangs

chapter 6

got your hands at the back of my soul and the more that i show you the more i'm afraid that you're gonna wake up and realize i'm not the one — paranoid, lauv

——

Butthead's snazzy shirt stared at me for an entire week.

After the superhero moves I pulled a few days ago with my sidekick — or maybe I was the sidekick and he was the main hero, considering how he was saving me the entire time — I got back to work an exhausted wreck.

Levi — wanting to throw Dax in the back dumper, as he so beautifully put it — needed a good gossip fix to make up for the pain he endured the entire time I was gone. Like a whole reporter on the scope, he barreled every question he could think of, while continuously going on about how fucking tiny the world was. How it was crazy the universe just threw us back together like that — that it was a sign.

Superstitious Jeans.

He also flipped the fuck out when he realized I was wearing Austin's shirt. Of course, his mind quickly went in the gutter, assuming we fucked around to which I immediatly denied. Even when I tried explaining the whole coffee shabackle, his smirk and knowing eyes that really knew absolutely nothing — didn't buy a word I said.

It was like I was talking to an entire brick wall.

"You can say whatever you want." He told me. "But I saw the way that hunk so smoothly caught my keys and then caught you. Y'all were staring at each other for a solid minute."

I wanted to throw myself on the floor, roll over, and dissolve into the floorboards.

Seeing where Levi's perspective on the matter lied, I was grateful Austin had texted me first when I was in the lot. Saved me the trouble of ever bringing it up to Jeans and giving that boy ideas. With my luck, Levi — being the wingman he loved to be — would totally take my phone when I wasn't looking, pretend to be me, and flirt his head off with Austin.

Would be better off if he didn't know I had his number.

That night, I locked up, went home, and peeled off his shirt. I still had no fucking clue what kind of cologne he laced his clothes with, but my god that shit smelled good. The most devastating part was tossing it in the wash.

A part of me wished I never did so while another was happy I could finally breathe proper air that wasn't drugged up in his scent.

Now, it just sat there, perfectly pressed and hung up on the doorknob of my closet. Like some sort of blaring billboard, it flashed its lights at me every single time I walked in my room. The worst was when I sat on my bed. I couldn't focus on my book, my laptop, or even the television — which were my favorite down time activities — with that thing just sitting there, staring straight into my soul.

I felt like I was going mad.

Being that today was Sunday, the bookstore was closed and I was off from work — meaning I had nothing to do. Syd always went to the gym or surfing on the weekends. It alternated depending on her mood, the weather, and if she had a competition coming up. Something I was glad she did without me, considering me and any form of physical activity in an athletic-esce form did not go together at all. Let alone get along.

Definitely not all chummy.

My noodle arms could never keep up.

Apparently she decided on the gym today, bringing Brock along for the ride — which hinted that she'd be gone for longer than usual. That meant, I was home alone, but not really alone — chilling with my not-so-good pal, Austin's shirt.

I needed out.

Bad.

I came to this conclusion when I found myself reading over a particular page ten times over, not grasping a single word of my book. And I was sitting in the living room — for fucks sake! Nowhere near Butthead's shirt. It was then that I figured I really needed to get out of the house — even though I really didn't want to.

As if this wasn't already bad enough, this man not only weaseled his way into my two favorite places, but also managed to infiltrate his presence into my bedroom where my bed — who was my main squeeze and boyfriend — lived — without ever stepping foot inside! Now, I guessed it was the whole fucking apartment.

Fan-fucking-tastic!

Getting kicked out of all my homes. Now where would I live?

With a huff, I grabbed my keys and tossed my book in my bag before heading out for the day. Where? I didn't know. But I was sure it would be one of the two places I usually went to. The bookstore was obviously a no for today. So that left me with Sunshine Spot.

I could only hope for the best.

Popping in my earbuds, I began my descent down the familiar stairs and out the door of my complex. When I stepped outside I almost went blind from how sunny it was. I immediately fished for my sunglasses, placing them on the bridge of my nose.

Sometimes I wondered if I was a vampire from how sensitive I always got. Or maybe it was just my introverted side making up more excuses to not leave the house. Either way, I definitely pulled off the 'fuck off, leave me alone' look with my earbuds in and my shades on. Not having to listen or look anyone in the eye sounded perfect to me.

And it was.

Until I got to my destination.

But to be fair, it was completely my own fault.

My dumbass was actually looking at her cellular device, trying to change the song I was listening to — but of course being the old piece of shit it was, the thing decided to lag on me right as I was walking through the door. Robotically, I messed around with every app and button known to man trying to fix it, but it just kept playing this one song that reminded me way too much of my awkward teenage years.

Somehow I managed to get to my favorite booth in the joint without even looking up. Sliding into the seat backwards, my back hit the wall and my knees shot up to my chest like a fetus — sideways in the booth.

I couldn't sit like a whole grown human — at all.

When I went to turn and slam the side of my phone on the table to wake it up, I almost died right on the spot when I realized someone was sitting across from me in my peripheral vision. Shutting my eyes for a moment, I tried to brace myself for what I would come face to face with —whoever was on the other side. Trying to figure out some sort of lame excuse that wouldn't make me look like a complete weirdo for sliding right into a booth that was already rightfully claimed.

Taking a breath and finally opening my eyes, I shut them just as fast when I captured the image of the person in front of me. Either I was losing my mind, or it was in fact him who was sitting in the same damn booth as me.

Saying him, I meant Austin with all of his butt related names.

You've got to be shitting me right now.

Why was this always happening to me?

Was he fucking following me or something?

Did his shirt manifest his presence right in front of me? —saying, 'Ha! Jokes on you! You can't escape me no matter how hard ya try!'

Reopening my eyes, I ripped my headphones out of my ears and absolutely lost it. "You!" I pointed at him as if I was blaming him for something — which I mentally was.

"Me?" he questioned and apprehensively confirmed, bracing a hand against his solid chest that was clad in a simple white t-shirt— clearly not understanding where I was going with this.

My mouth decided to work on its own accord and not cooperate with my brain. "What the hell are you doing here?" I grilled him immediately.

For a moment, he just stared at me blankly, seeming equally as confused but also slightly amused with the way his lips curled up. "Nice to see you too," he mused. Biting his lip, he looked down at the table. "Um." I followed his gaze, noting a small black moleskine journal that was sandwiched between his hands. One was inside the book, serving as a bookmark for whatever page I assumed he was writing on while the other was braced on top with a pen firmly tucked in between his fingers. It looked like I had totally interrupted his journaling— or journalism, if you will. "I should be asking you the same thing." He said, tilting his head as he studied me.

"Right," I sighed, readying myself for my long awaited explanation. "I didn't realize someone else was sitting here. Sorry —I'll just go."

I was in the process of awkwardly maneuvering myself out of the booth — finally rearranging my legs to be in a normal seating position when his husky voice spoke up. "No," he stopped me. "I mean, you can stay if you want. I'm not waiting on anyone anyways. Unless you're waiting on someone yourself."

"I'm not. Thanks, but —I don't want to disturb you, if you're working," I declined his offer, already feeling like a total intruder. Even though he unknowingly intruded on my favorite spot to sit when it came to avoiding people and having my own personal space to breathe.

"It's fine," he reiterated, not giving up for some reason unknown to me. "I was just finishing up anyways." To prove his point, he opened his journal back up, tucking his pen inside before closing it.

Looking around, I quickly assessed the available tables, only to come up short with a place to sit. The lunch hour was already hopping, meaning the joint was in fact packed and there was nowhere to sit that wouldn't have me up in somebody else's grill — listening in on their conversations. If I had to hear one more lady discuss the latest hot gossip about her neighbor's affair like a true Soap Opera while I was trying to read my book — I was gonna lose it.

"Sure," I gave in, unslinging my tote from my shoulder and shoving my phone and headphones inside.

It wouldn't kill me to sit with him for a little bit.

Right?

"So..." he began, starting some sort of conversation. "Did you end up at that nightclub?"

Well that was one way to get my attention.

"I'm sorry?" I questioned, totally not catching on to what he was going on about. Suddenly feeling extremely nervous, I braced my hands together on the table, hoping he wouldn't notice that I was shaking as I messed around with the rings on my fingers."What nightclub?"

He cupped his hand over his chin, displaying his ring cladded fingers that bounced against the light from the lamp hanging above us. Today he wore a few different silver bands that I found myself staring at. "The one your friend behind the counter said he was turning your bookstore into." He explained shyly.

"Oh!" He remembered that? "No." I shook my head, laughing lightly at the memory. "He didn't — thankfully."

"Good," he said. " It would've been a shame if he'd done it. I'd never get a chance to go back there and scan the collection if a dance floor and bar replaced all the shelves."

Picturing Levi running an entire nightclub that had a Saturday Night Fever Vibe with a John Trovolta-esce dance floor that lit up and changed colors, simultaneously made me want to laugh and cry. Laugh because I knew Marlon would absolutely be beside himself, and cry because I would lose it if Levi fucked up my displays and let people destroy the vintage portion of the collection where our rare books could be found. If I could take in all those babies I would.

Trying my hardest not to make a smart ass comment, I agreed with him."That would be devastating."

Which then left me to immediately overthink it.

Devastating in the sense of the bookstore being destroyed or devastating that he'd never get to see it?

Oh god.

What if he thought I was flirting with him — thinking I'd be saddened not to see him again?

"Maybe I could just shove all the books in a back closet and hide in there while he parties," I tried to save myself. "Problem solved."

"As long as it's against a wall, so you could live up to your name," he replied, reminding me of the 'Wall Girl' title he gave me.

"Very funny," I threw out sarcastically, rolling my eyes as a busboy placed two glasses on the table — filling them up from a pitcher of water. "And I'd have to lock up my toothpick umbrellas in a safe. Wouldn't want you ruining my pretty drinks."

"Oh?" He perked up with that one, intrigue flooding in his curious blue eyes. "So I'm invited to this theoretical nightclub?"

Oh. My. God.

"Um." My cheeks heated at the implication, making it impossible for me to conjure up some sort of response. He had me cornered. "I-I wouldn't be surprised if Levi invited you." Volly saved. His brows confirmed to me that he wasn't sure who I was talking about. "Levi is my co-worker. The dude behind the desk," I confirmed to which he nodded in understanding once it all clicked.

"Hi. Welcome to Sunshine Spot. I'm Sherry, and I'll be your server today." My favorite lady came over to take our order, whisking us out of our conversation. Flicking through her order pad, she didn't realize I was sitting right in front of her. "What can I get —" She immediately trailed off once she caught my eye, surprise washing over her features. "My girl! I should've known you'd be sitting here. My intuition must've served me right and felt your presence."

"Hey Sher," I greeted her back, my nerves subsiding as my gratitude rose the moment she appeared. It must've totally gone over her head that I was right here since I normally always sat alone.

She smiled back at me, before she glanced over at Austin, giving him a hard stare. "Who are you?" She asked him, her whole demeanor changing as she took him in.

"Austin," he introduced himself, a picture perfect smile gracing his face — totally disregarding Sher's judging stare in an attempt to butter her the fuck up. "It's nice to finally meet you in person."

She looked even more taken aback, baffled that he could say such a thing to her — completely forgetting they talked the other day.

Good.

Humble him.

"Sher." I got her attention. "You spoke to him the other day on the phone." She still looked lost, so I elaborated. "You thought I was being kidnapped while I was ordering coffees for Syd's meeting."

"Oh!" She clapped her hands, piecing it together. "That was you?" He nodded. "Good. Now I can keep my eye on you. If you even try anything with my girl here I will not hesitate to —"

"Alrighty then!" I cut her off, reaching for a menu and shoving it across the table for Austin to look at. "Shall we order?"

"Mhm," Austin mumbled as he flipped a page, searching it over.

God, this was fucking awkward.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Sher's spirit to death, but this was not the time for threats especially when there was nothing between me and Austin. We weren't even close enough to be considered friends.

"The usual for you, dear?" Sher asked, making it blatantly obvious of my regular appearances here.

"Yep," I confirmed, popping the p in exaggeration while passing the menu back to her.

Taking it from me, she turned to Austin with absolutely no cheer presence. "And for you?" She was already flexing her hand for the menu like she couldn't be bothered.

"Um. Just a coffee," He said simply. "Black. No milk or sugar, please."

"God." She put the hand with the pen over her heart dramatically. "Is that it?

We both nodded.

"Interesting." She paused for a moment. "Do you kids ever eat or just feed off of coffee like it's a drug?" She inquired, but didn't wait for us to respond. "I'm sending over fries and gravy for you two so I know you're not starving yourselves, and I can sleep peacefully tonight." She decided, jotting that last order down before walking away with no argument.

"I take it that you just ordered a coffee too? Nothing else?" he weighed, clearly reading between the lines.

"Just the drug," I firmly stated. "Certified junkie."

A stupid toothy grin threw up all over his face at my words, his eyes crinkling as they tightened in hysterics. I couldn't help but join him as he laughed his ass off right in front of me. It was the first time I ever saw him completely lose it like that, and it was such a fascinating sight to see. Especially since he always tended to hide it in front me.

Swiping a hand over his face to compose himself, he unknowingly pushed a curl out of the expanse of his hair.

"Makes the two of us," he said once he could get the words out without cracking up again.

I couldn't help but stare at the blonde lock casually lingering against his forehead like Danny Zuko. I supposed it really was a Grease kind of day. "Hm," I teased. "I'm the top junkie. Let's see if you fit the qualifications for certification."

Somehow, I managed to cough up the confidence to look him in the eye as he said, "Wow. Big words for the bookstore girl." He held his hands up in defense. "I see how it is."

Bookstore girl.

"What?" I inquired, absolutely flushed. "Scared you're gonna lose to the reigning champ?"

Thankfully a server came over with our drinks, and his gaze was trained on our coffees right in front of us. "Nope. I'm ready for the challenge." He licked his lips as he anticipated the taste of the coffee on his tongue, preparing himself for our little game.

Oh fuck.

"Of course you ordered black coffee," I spat out, not thinking before I spoke — far too focused on his perfectly sculpted cherry lips.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He leaned over the table, sizing me up.

"I don't know," I sighed, messing around with the straw stabbed into the lid on my drink. . "Reminds me of my basic ex-bosses at the publisher company. Boring bitter drinks, boring bitter men," I recalled, the memories of fucking up drink orders at my internship permanently etched into my head.

"So you think I'm boring and bitter?" He scoffed, clearly offended.

Shit.

Fuck.

"No!" I almost yelled, my heart racing out of my chest as I tried to think of a good way to maneuver out of the grave I just dug myself in. "I mean — not that you are boring or bitter. Well, I — I get milk and creamer in my drink, but that doesn't make me cool or peachy. Just the opposite. Trust me, I'm known to be very boring and bland. It's my middle —"

"Rianne!" He called, a smile etching onto his face as he cut me off. "I'm only joking with you." It was then that I felt his thumb dig into the side of my hand where my thumb and pointer finger met as if he was trying to bring me back to reality.

Oh.

Hello?

The realization dawned over me that in the middle of my excitement, I must have reached across the table and trapped his hand under my own out of reflex to console him in some fashion.

My fingers immediately tensed at the contact.

"Right," I gulped. A wave of electricity shooting from my fingertips all the way up to my arms jolted me awake, and I pulled back sheepishly.

Wrapping my hands around my drink, I tried to cool my hand down that felt awfully hot. I took a sip, tasting straight up sugar and creamer with the perfect amount of bitterness as a means to distract myself from the obvious.

I watched as he did just the same, using his other hand — that was never locked in my hold — to pick up his drink and take a sip. My eyes traveled to his other hand that was still braced on the table — still and unmoving. I thought I imagined it when his hand flexed for just a moment before he pulled it away.

"Hm," he hummed in satisfaction, averting my attention back to his face. "Pretty good," he complimented the coffee before taking another sip.

"The best," I hyped it up, almost halfway done with my own cup.

"I now understand why you come here so much," he commented in between sips before going back to our previous conversation. "So you used to work for a publishing company?"

"Interned," I clarified. "Not my finest moment, but hey — guess it just wasn't for me."

"Do you like the bookstore?"

He wanted to know if I liked working at the bookstore.

He wanted to know something about me.

"Yeah, I love it," I answered quickly, before I could over-think it any longer. Taking one last big sip, I almost slammed my cup on the table. "Done!"

"No fair," Austin whined, completely stunned. "They filled yours with a shit load of ice."

"Are you accusing me of cheating, Mr. Butt-ler?" I exaggerated the butt part again, absolutely cheesing my head off as I fucked around with him.

Not actually fucked.

Just joking.

Busted his balls a little.

Welp, that didn't sound any better. Anyways —

"Not that again." He blew out a breath, his gaze training upward as he tried to remove the curl off his forehead in frustration.

My hand suddenly tingled at my side, itching to reach out and touch him — to move the curl from his forehead. I momentarily wondered if his hair was as soft as it looked from here.

Jesus.

Focus, Rianne.

Maybe Sher was right. Maybe coffee was a drug. Maybe one of those peeps at Syd's office infected me or doused their addictive stimulants into my beverage.

Shoving my hand under my leg, I settled. "It's not my fault you nurse it like a baby."

"Maybe we should've ordered espresso shots," he suggested, ignoring my comment right as another server placed a plate of fries and gravy on the table for us. "Could be a hit for Levi's party though."

"Don't give me ideas now," I warned him, pointing a gravy covered fry in his direction accusingly to which he just smirked at me before munching on his own stick of potato — if you will.

A strange silence washed over us as we indulged in the plate, my mind suddenly feeling cloudy and heavy with every intrusive thought imaginable. For some reason, I couldn't comprehend the fact that I was here with him, in my favorite booth, sipping coffee and munching on fries — looking like this was a normal usual thing.

Something we did all the time.

Together.

The thought lingered with me for longer than I liked, burrowing itself deep into my insecurities and worries.

Warning me to flee.

Warning me not to get attached.

"Good, you're both eating." Sher was suddenly there, leaning an arm against the top of Austin's side of the booth observing us. "Everything good, my girl?" She asked me, going back to ignoring him once she was satisfied that he was being fed.

"Great," I forced out — my smile feeling robotic as I attempted to stretch it across my face.

Everything was fine, and now it just wasn't.

She sent a strange look my way, suspicion written all over her face as her eyes scanned back and forth between us. Sherry knew me well – well enough to know when something was up with me. Well enough to pick up my social cues in a heartbeat.

Before she could even let out a single word, my hand ventured into my tote bag searching for my wallet. "I probably should go." I told Austin, placing some cash on the table to contribute to my share.

"Wait – Take it back," he urged, pushing the cash back in my direction and then whipped out his credit card, trying to hand it over to Sher.

Not again.

Rolling my eyes, I picked up my cash and shook it in front of Sher. "Who are you gonna side with on this one? The dude you just met or your girl?" I questioned her, narrowing my eyes as a test.

Shaking her head, she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Neither of you." She surprised us both. "On me. I'm not gonna wait and watch you two argue it out. I've got orders to take and shit to do." She raised her manicured hands up in surrender. "Goodbye."

And then she just disappeared – leaving us sitting there confused.

In a quick attempt to stop him from even thinking about paying for me, I left some cash on the table as a tip for Sher since she didn't leave us a receipt before decking out of there. I ball parked what I thought the price would be and hoped and prayed she just took it. If not, someone else would. Either way it would go to a place I appreciated.

Looking back, I watched him leave his own wad of cash – which was definitely too much money at this point for two coffees and some fries – before trailing behind me – his steps urgent. On the way out, I thought I lost him, but heard the bell above the door ring the moment I stopped at the corner looking both ways to cross.

Damn it.

Long legs stopped right next to me as I went to click the button for the crosswalk. "You're walking?" he asked, surprising me when he dropped the 'I'm paying-no-I'm paying' game.

Guessed it was settled — more than settled.

I sure as shit thought he was gonna say something along the lines of — "Just let me pay, Rianne," or "You'll get me back next time, Rianne" — just to get his way. Or maybe I was just thinking that because a part of my subconscious selfishly wanted to hear him say my name again. Wanted him to see me again. I already knew another part was already shutting that thought down — canning it in the trash bin of my brain.

You're gone.

Deleted.

"Yeah." I replied, squinting up at his tall frame against — what would soon be — a setting sun.

His golden locks shone in the light, complimenting the rays and his eyes looked even lighter — like a light blue sky reflecting off the ocean. Seeing him standing up gave me the opportunity to notice that he had on a pair of jeans and scruffed up brown boots — that looked like they'd seen better days — and now a black leather jacket.

"It's getting late," he muttered. "And the streets are gonna be packed with people and traffic now that rush hour is rolling around." Leaning against the post he finally ripped off the bandage. "Let me drive you home."

"Oh, so you do drive?" I teased, being a complete and total smartass.

"I was away for a while," he explained, pulling out a key from his pocket to drive his point further. Ha— drive? Car? Alright. Tough Crowd. Awful joke. "And I left it here, so it had to go into the shop for a check up when I came back. That's why I couldn't drive myself."

"Is it good? You sure it isn't gonna break down on us during the journey back home?" I asked suspiciously.

"I was in your friend La— Le— sorry, what is his name again?" His hand shot up to his head, his fingers massaging into his temples as if it was physically paining him to figure out what he was trying to say.

I knew not telling him would give me the upper hand, but watching him struggle started to pain me as well. "Levi."

"Levi. Right." He brushed his hand across his face just as he did in the diner. I wondered if it was a habit induced by stress. "I sat in his — no offense — pretty old car, and I let you drive me." He pointed out.

"True." I mean I couldn't deny the evident point he made. Levi's car was way passed the drinking age and probably even surpassed me by a few years — probably flirty and thirty. "No offense taken but, you didn't have much of a choice now, did you? And I wouldn't be driving this time, would I?"

"Well." He kicked off the pole, standing up straight. "No, but —"

I advanced towards him, so close I ruined the little line I mentally drew between us, my finger poking his chest.

"Exactly!" I stressed.

I won.

Two out of three.

Take that—Toothpick Umbrella Thief!

"Scared of losing control?" He quipped, biting on that ridiculous lip for the a millionth time today — seeming completely unphased by my close proximity and more amused by my evident aggravation.

"How do I know you're a safe driver?" I avoided his question, whispering like it was some sort of confidential secret. As if we weren't standing on a busy street in Los Angeles, but in a library with a librarian shushing us across the way.

"You'll just have to find out for yourself," he breathed, his face towering over mine — so close I could feel his breath fanning across my skin.

Too close.

I shouldn't have done that.

I pulled away.

"Thanks, but I walk all the time," I attempted to deny another one of his offers, staring up at the stupid light stuck on green — waiting for the damn thing to turn. "I'll be fine." I assured him, sending him a tight lipped smile as I pressed the button again, but with a bit more umpt this time.

He sent a funny look my way, before lifting up his sleeve and sniffing his arm. "Do I smell or something to you?" He asked in all seriousness, his nose scrunching up as he tried to figure it out. "Is that why you want to get away from me so bad? Cause if so, you can just tell me straight up." He joked.

If he meant smell good — yes, in fact he smelled so good, I found it really hard to concentrate. Which meant I needed to get as far away from him as possible.

But, I knew what he meant.

And he sure as shit did not smell bad at all.

"No." I let out a short laugh. "I already intruded on your booth, your work, and your late lunch. You should be sick of me at this point."

"I'm not sick of you," he said just as fast, proving to me that he was truly trying to say whatever would please me to get me right where he wanted me. "In fact. If I remember correctly, you have a shirt of mine that I have to get back from you. So it's a win-win — I drive you home, you give me the shirt." He stuck out his hand, initiating to shake on it. "Deal?

Fucking stubborn.

Taking a long hard breath, I let the steam shoot right out of my ears as I reached out and shook his hand. My body immediately caved once his warm hand engulfed my small one— our rings clanking together. My mind screamed at me to pull away, but —

"Deal."

Electric.

If it meant giving him his shirt back so I could finally live at peace in my own home — so be it.

——

it's the way i was cheesing like a total idiot while writing this chapter —smiling at typed words on a screen. anyways, hope you enjoyed <3 —xanadu

#austin butler #austin butler fandom #austin butler fans #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fanfic #wattpad #fanfic #fanfiction #downfallaustinbutler #DOWNFALL a.b.#austin butler fic #austin butler x oc #austin butler x ofc #austin butler x ofc rianne solace #benny cross

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mysticdreamcafe · 24 days ago

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Hades in a handbasket on rocket skates

Have you ever been tired? Not depressed, but just tired? Physically and mentally exhausted? Tired of all the shyte that keeps happening around you that you have to deal with? That's been my world for the past 6 weeks.

Something is going on with my body that hurts and I don't understand or know how to deal with. I'm not even sure which Dr. to see for it. All my muscles are tight and ache like crazy. I'm even getting the MS hug and I don't have MS. I only have brain lesions like MS lesions but in different areas. I've had minor to medium seizures repeatedly over the last few weeks. It's not daily but it's enough to cause me to be terrified.

My house is a mess and I simply can't keep up with my body revolting worse than usual. Hell, I couldn't keep up when my muscles and CNS behaved better.

It's the holiday season, a lot of celebrations happen in December on top of the usual daily stuff, so the shops and roads are over filled with people and cars which hasn't helped my CNS at all. But, I get it and if you do, or don't, celebrate anything this time of year I simply wish you the best of everything.

My daughter decided to go into debt and get a new garage door and opener for the garage. It was ordered late spring, early summer and still isn't up and working. It's up but not working as they said it would. It's frustrating and the "overseer" (not sure what else to call him) is distracted with other things that are more important to him. The installation guy is nice and been doing this for years but taking forever because he hasn't installed many of what was ordered before.

Let me mention that after about 4 months I called about an install date and they said July 2025. 2 weeks later they said they'd be here that Saturday. This means we had 1 day warning and nothing in garaged had been cleared out. I can't do this type of labor so the garage guy had to move a few things since my daughter was a work.

Off to a great start wouldn't you say?

So, The overseer didn't measure right and door the door couldn't be installed after the original 1949 door was removed. They put in the panels to keep weather and animals out while waiting for the parts needed to come in. They said 1 month so we put the mower outside, tarped it, and figured it wouldn't get foul out till it was inside in a month. We'd keep the neighbors happy, too by cutting the grass.

Over two months later I'm calling because the mower is still outside, weather is turning nasty, and we can't get in the garage via the garage door. Parts hadn't come in they said. 1 week, maybe less, later they texted and said installer would be here the next day. He was here for 7 hours in 27 degree weather working. Door went in pretty quickly, but the opener didn't work.

Installer left and came back the next day, a Sunday, and after 3 hours he managed to work it out. We were glad the garage was done, but still mad at the fact we had to go through all this BS in order for it to happen. I'd had a very minor seizure in the form of an aura while watching the guy work in the freezing garage. My daughter and I got 2-3 boxes cleared out so that's good.

The aura hung around longer than it should because I was angry and couldn't calm down. Voila the opener started working. We took papers and refused to give the last payment saying we'd mail it. AND mail it we will once they swap out the opener for the one we paid for.

The one we paid for is supposed to have security measures built in and can be opened via an app. This one doesn't do that. So, it took them 2 days to install the wrong opener.

I've put a call, left a message, into the owner of the company

#rant

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manateeteaparty · 3 months ago

Text

At my therapist appointment today, she suggested I write a journal entry like I usually do- but encouraged me to write a letter to my ex as a way of being therapeutic. I explained to her I don't feel comfortable with that. She said I don't have to give it to him- just write out my thoughts and what I would say if I was given the opportunity. So even though he'll never see this, it still helps getting my thoughts out instead of keeping everything inside. I want to write it both as an entry and a letter though, cause that feels more natural. Whatever. Here goes.

~I've been doing so well. I've been seeing a therapist and have been making progress on feeling happy again. Healing my wounds. Accepting things. Trying to love myself. Starting to feel normal. Starting to actually laugh and smile again, something I never thought would happen. I've been moving on.

And then my ex texted me out of the blue two days ago. I didn't expect it at all. I had fully come to accept the fact that I would never hear from him again- and I was okay with that. Life without him was starting to get easier. I was thinking about him less and less. I have slowly fallen out of love with him. He wrote in his text how 'he was sorry he took so long to respond to me, he felt overwhelmed and guilty with life knowing he couldn't see me because of how busy he was. That he has a new girlfriend. That if I still want to see him, maybe it will work out in a week or two. Maybe.' At first I was fine. Very surprised. I wrote him back and told him that I am not expecting anything from him and that I felt hurt because all summer I felt as if he had been lying to me instead of just honestly telling me the truth- if he doesn't want to see me, just say so. He wrote back:

"I want to as well but I also in a way feel bad hanging out with you when you still have feelings for me. I just feel like I'll be leading you on or something or maybe send you the wrong signal or idea. I just don't want you to stay hooked on me because we hung out too soon because I believe that it'll just keep hurting you."

That rubbed me the wrong way. And over the weekend, re-reading the messages, it's really pissed me off. Dude, cant you see? I dont love you anymore. I lost you and my entire world was flipped upside down. Yet the entire world kept turning as if nothing changed, and I was expected to smile and act as if everything was how it was meant to be. I felt homesick for a home I could no longer visit. I got so fucking sick, having panic attacks all summer and they only got worse, to the point where they would last all day and it took a huge toll on my health and my heart. I had to take time off work and almost lost my job. I was so scared, I could actually feel the muscle of my heart getting weaker every day from so much rapid beating and working overtime. I started losing my ability to breathe well because I could only produce short, quick bursts. I was terrified and scared and wanted my best friend. Being in your presence always made my anxiety fade. You have no idea how fucking terrified I was. It took so much for me to swallow my fear of bothering you to reach out to you and ask for help. I told myself "It doesn't matter if he doesn't love me anymore- he was my best friend, he was my partner. He still cares deep down. If he ever called me and needed something, or was feeling down, I'd be there for him." I messaged you and asked if you could please, please meet with me for just five minutes, I was literally begging you to see me, anything to help me try and overcome the intense physical pain and panic I was feeling. I wanted to hear you tell me a joke, tell me a story about something fun you did over the summer, anything to take my mind off the situation. You wrote me back and were so cold and emotionless. Another 'Maybe, if I have time, idk.' That was the moment I fell out of love with you. It was like having the wind knocked out of me repeated. Realizing that someone who I had spent every single day exchanging I Love You's with for years, had so many memories with, now didn't give a single shit about me, my life or whether or not I was alive, dead, or in between. I realized you literally wouldn't even notice if I dropped off the face of the planet. It reminded me of last year before I went to the hospital, when I was afraid of what I might do and broke down and told Brennan how depressed I was and how scared I was I might do something and not be able to control it. I reached out to ask for help- something that's extremely hard for me to do without feeling like a burden-and he just walked away. After that reply from you, I drove myself to the hospital. I was diagnosed with Broken Heart Syndrome (Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy). I cried and laughed when they told me that- fucking ironic that I'm suffering from heartbreak in the most literal form while realizing you probably forget I exist half the time. You pushed me away to the point where I look forward to silence from you. I've learned to stop begging for your time and attention. The more you've ignored me, the more I've got used to being ignored. I found myself begging you for a response, clarity, respect, even basic human dignity. I took a step back and realized I was begging you for the bare minimum, and even that was asking too much of you.

Yes, I wanted nothing more than to be able to maintain a friendship with you- to be able to heal, to forgive and come out of this as better people who care and appreciate and respect each other, who are still able to support each other with none of the emotional baggage of a relationship. I wanted so much to be able to see you again, to smile and laugh with you again, to go on so many adventures, to share deep thougts with you, to see you grow into an amazing man and support you in your future relationships and be your biggest cheerleader. To tell you I'm so fucking proud of you during every turn of the road. I honestly wish you the best and will never stop caring for you. I'm so incredibly grateful for you coming into my life and the experiences we shared- I'd like to believe at one that at least some of the love I felt from you was real, because you made me feel so safe, you allowed me to feel comfortable enough to let my guard down and be vulnerable with you, and I honestly felt like you were the missing half of my soul. Being apart from you was painful and every time I would see you again, it was instant relief. Your smell was so calming and when I held you, I've never felt a love like that for anyone before. God, I loved holding you, kissing your forehead, humming to you while you fell asleep in my arms. As much as it probably was nice for you, I think I loved it more. Watching you sleep and listening to your slow breath. Tracing the lines of your face and lips with my fingers, so fucking beautiful. I was in awe that someone could be so perfect. I always felt such an overwhelming sensation of deep, pure love in those moments looking down on you asleep in my arms, it made me feel so happy to be able to comfort and protect someone so precious to me. All I ever wanted was to make you happy. Actually craving someone- not just sexually, but intimately. I felt like you were a missing piece of me. Kissing you was like taking a drug. I couldnt get enough. And when you made love to me.... in those moments, I honestly believed that you loved me just as much as I loved you. That I made you happy. That as long as we truly loved each other, and were willing to be patient and communicate our needs to each other, we would last forever... but none of that matters anymore.

I know I hurt you. I know things got bad towards the end, and it wasn't easy for you. It wasn't easy for me either. I wanted to make you happy and I couldn't. It's so hard to make someone happy if I can't even make myself happy. I wanted to give you the love you deserved, and still do deserve- but it was hard to love you when I was continuously struggling to love myself. I tried, I really did. I'm still trying- but clearly what you wanted, and what I could give you, wasn't enough. I just wish I realized that months ago, or you felt that you could tell me without being afraid. And I need you to realize- every time I blocked you on social media, or did something to distance myself from you, it wasn't because I didn't want to see you. It wasn't because I ever stopped loving you- I never did. It was because in those moments I felt so untirely unlovable, so completely undeserving of happiness. And when I'm in those moments, I struggle to find the words or ways of communication. I stutter and I lose my train of thought, my mind goes blank and no matter how much I try to explain how I'm feeling, I just can't. I feel like everyone around me will benefit from me not being around. I feel like it's better if I take a step back, calm down for a moment or two, collect my thoughts and re-group, then come back when I'm able to be present and explain how I'm feeling. In those moments, I blocked you because I was removing the temptation of me reaching out to you, of being worried I'd make even more of a mess of things. It was never because I wanted to stop seeing you, or I wanted you out of my life- it was because I felt undeserving of being in yours, and I was removing myself from you temporarily so I could try and get better.

At this point, there is no way a friendship is possible between us. Maybe someday, a few years from now, things will be different. We will both be healed enough to look past the hurt, and we'll meet again, high-five each other, and say "Dude, I fucking missed you so much. Let's make plans to catch up" and actually mean it. Right now though- someone who continuously ignores me, refuses communication, refuses to respect me and is willing to sabotage years of friendship instead of trying to salvage it- I have no room in my life for someone like that. And your actions show me that I'm not worth your time, or thoughts. Maybe in another life, things are different. Maybe our love ended more gently, just like it began. In kindness and in care.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I've been so busy. Maybe I can see you in a week or two. Maybe." And then the "Oh but I'm worried to see you cause I don't want to lead you on" which he's also told me twice before. Excuse after excuse to not see me. You're seriously going to fucking sit there and expect me to believe that for four months you've just been so busy, you haven't had time to reply to a text? You've been too busy to lift a finger. Yet, you've had plenty of time to spend with your friends, various other things, and apparently date someone enough that you're now in a relationship with them? Yeah. That math doesn't match.

OK. Here's the thing. I'm a fucking adult.

If I didn't want to see you, I would say so. If I'm having a rough time mentally and don't think I'm ready for something, I'll also say so. I'm not afraid to tell you. YOU don't get to make those choices for me. I value honesty above all else and expect people to treat me with the same respect and consideration I give them. Don't lead me on. Don't lie to me. TELL me the truth. I won't be mad that you don't want me or don't want to be around me- I'll be mad because you acted like you did. The fact of the matter is, people make time for who they want to make time for. People reply to those who they want to talk to. When someone tells you they're too 'busy', it's not a reflection of their schedule, it's a reflection of your spot on their schedule. If you are trying to ask someone something really important and they continuously respond with "I don't know", "I'm not sure" or just flat out ignores you, they are purposely wasting your time and disrespecting you.

I wish he would just stop contact. Cut the cord. I don't get it. I want to scream, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! What is this fucking game? What is the point of ignoring me for weeks on end, month after month, only to text me out of the blue telling me literally the same shit every time- that you're still busy, and still don't want to see me? Thanks. I could've guessed that by the silence and lack of talking for months on end. I don't need a text to tell me the same thing I already know. I feel like I've been trying so hard. This summer has been so fucking painful and it's taken me so long to get to where I was, to finally feel comfortable, and every time I hear from him it throws me backwards to square one, and it's excruciating. All it does is force me to relive the pain and heartbreak, triggers my fear of abandonment, reinforces my belief that I'm not good enough, creates SO much self doubt, breaks all the effort I've been working on with my trust issues, leaves me with yet again a lack of closure, and makes me feel as if I'm not worthy of love. It makes me want to scream, to punch a wall, to curl into a ball and sob until I can't make a sound anymore. I just want to be able to move on and be happy again. To learn how to be me again. I miss smiling. I miss laughing. I want to feel joy again. To be able to breathe without feeling as if I'm suffocating. I just want peace.~

#diary

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sweetmusingss · 11 months ago

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Renee tried to hide her disappointment when you said that you had to go. She was hoping that she would be able to talk to you for a little bit longer but realistically, she knew this was coming. “Alright, baby. I hope you have a good night and please call me later or I will be sending you a strongly worded text in the morning,” she flirted with you, just teasing you. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for couples who weren’t even in the same country because this three hour time difference and your busy schedules were hard enough. She hung up with you, letting out a deep breath and just playing on her phone to pass the time, nowhere near ready to get any sleep yet.

Katie smirked at you when you hung up the phone. “Okay, now that you got that out of the way, please try to go the whole night without mentioning Renee Rapp at all, okay? Tonight is about networking and promoting what you have coming up. Any headlines that are created, we want to be about what fans can look forward to and not speculation on your friendships or relationship, okay?,” she smiles genuinely at you. She found it sweet how the two of you were but she was just trying to do the best for your brand right now.

I feel my heart physically ache when I say goodbye and hang up, hating to be this far away from her physically and somewhat emotionally. I knew the distance was already taking its toll on us considering how much we liked one another. I look up at Katie as she speaks to me, throwing her a playfully annoyed look when she tells me not to mention Renee at all. “I will try my hardest not to talk about her but I can’t promise she won’t be on my mind the entire time.” I knew Katie was just looking out for me; she was letting me have my secret relationship so she had to say these things. She didn’t want me to have a media shitstorm anymore than I wanted one myself. “If any interviewer asks me about what celebrity boy I have a crush on, I can’t guarantee I won’t hit them with their own mic.” I roll my eyes, hating how all the questions I usually got were about my love life and what boy I found dreamy.

“No, I have never been to Italy. You are even more cultured than I thought you were… hot,” I say, never failing to bring up how hot you were every two minutes. “Please don’t tell me you can speak Italian too or I am going to fall right on this floor. A girl can only take so much,” I say, staring at you dreamily as I heard you speak about Romania. “That would be really cool. I love that you’ve seen so much. I have only ever met a few people not from America. I don’t have any desire to go back to where I came from in Florida. I mean, I will to visit my mom and I do love the beach but I don’t feel connected to where I came from, really. New York is where I always dreamed of going and especially now, I am finding a lot to enjoy here,” I say, my eyes bright as I stared at you.

Seb laughs when you say he was cultured, shrugging. “My mom did a lot of traveling for work back when we lived in Romania and it was cheaper to just bring me along so I’ve been to a few places in Europe but Italy was by far the best.” Seb’s eyes widened as you mentioned him speaking Italian, shrugging again. “Just a little... I get by.” He chuckles, taking a sip of his coffee, nodding as you speak about Florida. “I’ve only ever been to Florida one time, Chris had his 30th birthday at Disney World so I obviously went but I understand why you wouldn’t want to go back there... the weather was lovely, but seemed like a pretty boring state, if I’m honest. What else is there to do in that state besides go to Disney and Universal and SeaWorld? It’s just so... flat.”

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kythed · 4 years ago

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“almost funny”

synopsis: suna rintarou thinks you’re out of his league, and you think he’s out of yours.

tagged: general dumbassery, fwb-to-lovers, some profanity, sexual references but nothing explicit.

commitment level: 5.6k words.

It’s almost funny, really. It’s funny how what started out as a purely physical transaction has now transformed into a one way ticket to Simpville with the name Suna Rintarou stamped on it in big red letters. Suna runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he stares down at your sleeping form, curled up in his SF Giants tee that fits you like an oversized nightgown. He loves how you look there, wearing his clothes, bed head resting on his pillows. It’s almost embarrassing how much he loves it. How much he might love you.

He doesn’t really remember when he started seeing you as more than a good fuck. Maybe it was that time you told him he looked pretty with your lipgloss smeared across his mouth.

“That’s a nice shade on you,” you’d laughed as he wiped his lips on the back of his hand. “You should wear it more often.”

Then, before he could respond, you’d yanked him back in by the collar, licking into his mouth, deep and dirty. He shivers now even just thinking about it, recalling the taste of that lipgloss. Strawberry lemonade, the sort that comes in little bottles at the dollar store. However “pretty” he might’ve looked in that moment, he’s sure you looked a hundred times better. You always do, and you don’t even have to try. You’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, even in your worst moments.

Or maybe it was the time you remembered his birthday when no one else did. January 25th; all his friends had taken off on their ski trips or tropical vacations, but you showed up to his apartment toting a cupcake and a single candle, belting a loud, out of tune rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ until he shut you up with an impulsive kiss on the lips. You’d been surprised, but not so surprised you couldn’t kiss him back. Suna’s pretty sure most friends-with-benefits don’t do that sort of thing. They don’t sit across from each other at the kitchen table, splitting a vanilla cupcake and laughing over matching frosting mustaches. They don’t hug each other goodbye after two hours of scrolling through YouTube and nothing else, content to linger in that air of tentative familiarity and pseudo-friendship.

Whatever the reason, whenever it happened, all Suna knows now is you’re more than just a fuck buddy. He doesn’t even want to associate the term with you — it feels disrespectful. He wishes he could just stop pretending. Stop pretending he doesn’t want you to be his.

“Hey.”

Suna grins at your low, throaty morning voice. It’s cute.

“Hey,” he responds, reaching forward to flick your shoulder. “You slept in.”

“Did I?” You blink the sleep from your eyes and squint at Suna’s bedside clock. 9:06. “Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

You fly out of bed, wiggling into your jeans and tossing your hair into a careless ponytail before frantically scanning the room. “Have you seen my sweater anywhere?”

Suna exhales through his nose before getting up and walking over to his closet. “I hung it up last night so it wouldn’t be wrinkled.”

You freeze in your tracks, slowly turning with a teasing grin plastered on your face. “Oh? How considerate of you.”

Suna shrugs, avoiding your gaze. He feels a flush rise to cheeks and desperately hopes it doesn’t show. “Just being polite.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had a little crush on me,” you crow before taking the sweater from the hanger and slipping it over your head.

“You wish,” he snorts, but all he can think is you’re absolutely right.

You ignore him and begin shoveling all your things into your purse: a compact mirror, lipstick, house keys. You glance at the clock again. “I’m gonna be so late to this lecture. Damn. Maybe I can text Aiko and ask her to record the first part for me.”

Suna raises an eyebrow. He remembers your friend Aiko from a party last year, before you and he began your… arrangement. She’s outgoing, friendly, and probably the flakiest person he’s ever met. “She’s not gonna do that. Just let me drive.”

“No, it’s fine,” you automatically brush him off, heading into the bathroom to splash your face with lukewarm water. “You probably have your own shit to take care of.”

Yeah, you, he thinks, but instead he says, “Not really. Plus, you’ll probably miss the whole thing if you try to bike to campus. Let me take you in the car. I’ll strap the bike onto the back.”

You give him a look. “Are you sure, Rin?”

“It’s really not a big deal,” he says, throwing on a shirt. “Outside in five, and I’ll have you there by 9:30, easy.”

After a few more weak protestations, you finally agree, and as he drives you to your university, he lets himself pretend you’re his girlfriend sitting there in the passenger seat. He turns on your favorite artist’s Spotify mix on the aux and smiles to himself when you hum along, watching the city fly past out the window. What he wouldn’t give for that reality, one where he can love you without all these restrictions, these tricky boundaries between friends and lovers. When you jump out of the car, calling a cheeky “I’ll text you!” over your shoulder, he pretends it’s an affectionate “I’ll see you for dinner tonight!” instead. He pretends that instead of rushing to get away from him and into the lecture hall, you kiss him on the forehead and squeeze his shoulder, reluctant to leave.

“Fuck me,” Suna says angrily before slamming his palm into the horn, scaring a few freshman walking to class. “And fuck you too!”

He’s not sure who “you” is. Maybe the universe.

No, Suna Rintarou doesn’t know why or how it happened, but he’s in too deep now. And he’s pretty damn sure you’ll never feel the same way.

You slide into your seat beside Aiko just as the guest lecturer pulls up his power point, breathing out a sigh of relief. Aiko shoots you a grin, waggling her eyebrows. Suna? she mouths, and you roll your eyes, nodding nonetheless. Aiko can hardly wait until after the lecture to start pestering you about it.

“So,” she says as you leave the auditorium together. “Did you tell him yet?”

“Tell him what?” You dig in your bag for your water bottle, groaning when you remember leaving it on the edge of Suna’s sink last night.

“Tell him that you’re in loooooove,” Aiko sings, nudging your shoulder.

You scoff. “Okay, first of all, I don’t love him.”

“But you like him,” Aiko persists, and you hold up a finger.

“And second of all, even if I did, I would never tell him.” You yawn, rubbing your eyes before realizing you hadn’t taken your makeup off and thus probably have awful raccoon eye bags. “He’s so out of my league it’s not even funny. It’s kind of pathetic for me to think he’d ever like me back.”

Aiko scoffs. “If anything, you’re out of his league. You could pull any guy you wanted to. And when I say any, I mean any. Like, I bet you could even get Jake Gyllenhaal.”

You laugh. “Why specifically Jake Gyllenhaal?”

Aiko shrugs. “Dunno. Just the first hot guy that came to mind. But forget him. My point is, Suna Rintarou is definitely yours for the taking. All you have to do is —”

“I know, I know,” you interrupt. “All I have to do is confess.”

“Exactly,” says Aiko. Before she can open her mouth again, you cut in.

“Okay, but listen, Aiko,�� you say. “Suna’s the kind of guy who doesn’t let himself get attached. He fully admitted to me when we first hooked up that he’d never had a girlfriend. And that’s obviously not from lack of female interest. It’s because he doesn’t want one.”

“Or maybe it’s because he hasn’t found the right person yet.” Aiko starts heading towards the campus coffee shop, and you follow her.

“Sure,” you say, getting in line. The cafe is crowded with students getting in their daily caffeination, inhaling sugary lattes and bitter espressos just to stay awake through their next class. Ah… college. “Or maybe he just. Doesn’t. Want. One.”

Aiko keeps arguing all the way up until you reach the cash register, where you realize you haven’t even decided on what to order yet.

“Hey there,” says the cashier, smiling sunnily. “What can I get for ya?”

You blink. He’s attractive. Very attractive, actually. Bleach blonde, a crooked grin that screams trouble in the best sort of way. Miya, says the little name plate pinned to his shirt. “I, uhh…”

“Take your time,” he says leaning forward like he’s about to tell you a secret. “Between you and me, we have an excellent mocha latte. Not too sweet, y’know?”

You find your manners. “Oh, um, yeah. That sounds great, actually.”

“One mocha latte, then?” he asks, picking up a cup, and you nod. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure of serving today?”

When you tell him your name, he smiles to himself and scrawls it on the cup. “Pretty.”

You flush and pay, hands shaking a little when you slide your card down the side of the machine. The cashier notices and shoots you a knowing look. Five minutes later, when you pick up your drink from the other side of the counter, you see not only your name written on the lid, but a phone number, too, along with a tiny winking face.

“What’d I tell you?” exclaims Aiko shrily when you leave the shop. “Any. Guy. Period.”

You shake your head in exasperation, but you can’t help but throw a final glance over your shoulder, meeting the eyes of the cute cashier one more time. Maybe Aiko does have a point.

That weekend, Suna’s stretched out on his couch, dangling his feet over the armrest and staring up at the ceiling. It’s one of those lazy Saturday afternoons, and usually he’d be enjoying his alone time. Not today, though. Today there’s something — someone — on his mind, and that someone is spelled y-o-u. His phone pings, and he snatches it up with embarrassing speed, groaning when he sees it’s just Atsumu.

“Bastard,” he mutters, not even bothering to open the message. Probably just asking for the O-chem lab answers.

Suna rolls over onto his stomach, pulling up your contact name. What he really wants to do is see you, but how is he supposed to do that without sounding weirdly desperate? Hey, he types out. Wanna come over and watch a movie? He pauses for a moment before adding, Pizza’s on me.

He buries his face in his hands and deletes the text. That makes it sound like he’s asking you out. Well, that’s what he does want to do, but you can’t know that. He’s fairly certain if you knew how he felt about you, you’d freak out. Girls don’t like to be tied down, he reminds himself. Suna groans again, grabbing two fistfuls of hair in irritation.

“Why are women so complicated?” he says aloud, letting the words echo in his empty apartment. He takes a couple seconds to close his eyes, take a deep breath, and unlock his phone again, this time settling on a simple Come over. Short, sweet, and to the point. Well, not exactly. That makes it sound like all he wants to do is sleep together, when he’d really rather just… talk. Spend time with you.

“Oh, God,” he mutters. “I’m so done for.”

It takes what seems like forever for you to arrive, breathless from biking, hair slightly mussed. Suna grins, biting his lip. You’re so beautiful, he thinks, pulling you in for a hungry kiss. Even if all he can get is the sex, then he’s sure as hell going to appreciate it. You smell like lavender laundry detergent, he notices when you press yourself into him, fumbling to close the door behind you without breaking the kiss.

“Well, hello there,” you laugh when he finally breaks away and draws in a shaking breath. “Somebody’s eager.”

Suna rolls his eyes. “As if. You just took so long to get here.”

You cock an eyebrow. “You texted me like half an hour ago.”

“Yeah, and you’re half an hour too late.”

You snort and hurl a pillow from the sofa at him. He catches it and smiles, taking your wrist and drawing you in for another messy, open-mouthed kiss.

“Sorry that I don’t have the power of teleportation,” you quip, laughing when he pulls you into the bedroom. Suna resolves to take his time with you today, undressing you carefully, trailing his lips down your sternum and collarbones, grinning to himself whenever you gasp. He almost catches himself saying “I love you” at one point as you cling to him, mumbling his name, but he placates himself with kissing you extra hard at the end instead, pulling you into his chest and falling back into the pillows.

Usually, you’d take a few minutes to lay in silence, tracing shapes in his skin, and he’d lean back with closed eyes, imagining what it would be like to be loved by you. Slow early morning kisses, skin on skin, whispering and giggling and everything cheesy he used to hate but now wishes he could experience with you. Today, though, you peel yourself off of him and grab your phone as soon as it buzzes, fingers flying in response to whoever had texted you.

“New boy toy?” he jokes, almost choking when you don’t immediately say no. Oh, shit. “You’re kidding.”

“Just a guy I met the other day,” you say casually. Suna stares, slack jawed. “Works at the coffee shop near the quad.”

“Coffee shop?” He furrows his brow. Doesn’t he know someone who works there? He internally scowls, digging into the back of his brain. Aran? Osamu?

“Mm,” you say, suppressing a smile as the nameless suitor sends another text. “His name’s Atsumu Miya.”

Suna’s heart nearly falls right out of his chest and cracks at his feet. “No.”

You look up, raising an eyebrow. “No?”

“Not him,” Suna says, forgetting himself, forgetting the nature of your relationship.

“I didn’t realize you were in charge of who I can and cannot be interested in,” you say bitingly.

Suna sits up. “I’m not. It’s just, Atsumu… he’s not your type.”

“You know him?”

“Yeah,” Suna says, thinking back on his days observing the Miya twins’ antics. “He’s not your kind of guy, trust me.”

“Pray tell then,” you say. Oh, fuck. You’re irritated. “Who exactly is my kind of guy?”

Me, he thinks. I’m your kind of guy. “I don’t know. Just trust me though, okay? Atsumu… he’s difficult.”

“Thanks, Suna,” you say, tone tinged with sarcasm. Suna cringes. You only ever call him by his surname when you’re upset with him. “But I think I can go out with whoever I want to go out with.”

“Fine.” The word tumbles out more harshly than he’d meant it to.

You stare at him in disbelief. “What, are you mad at me or something?”

Suna exhales heavily. “No, I’m not mad. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. I just wanted to give you a little guidance. As your friend.”

“As my friend?” you repeat. “My friend?”

Now it’s Suna's turn to be confused. “Are we not friends?”

“I don’t know, Suna,” you say, swinging your legs over the side of the bed, pulling your clothes on. “You tell me.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to say here,” he says, watching as you struggle to pull your shorts back on. He knows what he wants to say. No, we’re not friends. We should be together. Isn’t it obvious?

You huff, grabbing your bag and the water bottle you’d left behind the other day. “You know, I don’t really know either. Forget I ever said anything. I guess I just thought…”

You trail off and shake your head, heading towards the door. Suna scrambles out of bed to follow you, pulling on his pants as he hops down the hall on one leg. “What’s that?”

“I said forget it,” you call over your shoulder, trying to slam the door, but Suna catches your wrist. As you stare up at him, he thinks he sees your lip quivering, eyes shining with half-formed tears. “Let me go.”

“I’m serious,” Suna says. “What did you think?”

You draw in a deep breath, and for a second, Suna thinks you’re about to say the words he’s always wanted you to say. Then you look away. “Let. Me. Go.”

Slowly, Suna releases you from his grasp, and you stumble backwards, wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

“Don’t call me.”

“Wait, no —”

“Don’t call me, Suna!” you say loudly, before turning on your heel and speed walking down the stairs.

Oh. Oh. Suna stares in shock at the place you were just standing on his doorstep. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

When he heads back inside, head empty but for the single thought, I’ve just lost the best thing that ever happened to me, he glances at his phone on the counter. In an instant, he’s opening up his messages, pulling up Atsumu’s.

Met a cute girl LOL. Gonna bring her to that party on Friday.

Then, in a separate bubble — Btw: chem answers?

“And then he called me his friend,” you say angrily, handing Aiko the box of Oreos. The two of you are sprawled on the floor of her dorm room. “Just like we were two bros who got together to play XBox every once in a while, instead of two people who had literally just banged.”

Aiko takes a cookie before handing them back to you. “Asshole.”

“I mean, I know technically we were ‘friends with benefits,’” you say, stuffing an Oreo in your mouth. “But I guess I thought we could be something more. I thought there was no way he could kiss me like that, look at me like that without feeling something. Guess I was wrong.”

“Screw him,” Aiko says. “You’ve got boys lined up around the block, and he thinks he can treat you like rubbish? Absolute bullshit.”

“I don’t have boys ‘lined up around the block,’” you remind her, smiling regardless. “Just one.”

“And that one is hella cute!” Aiko says. “You’re way too cool to pine over some guy who thinks you’ll just answer his every beck and call without even committing to a relationship.”

You sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just… ack. I don’t know. Am I jumping to conclusions? He seemed like he wanted to talk to me more, but I kind of stormed off without saying anything.”

“Seems like he was pretty clear,” Aiko says with a shrug. “Your call, though. If I were you, I’d forget about him. Plus, you have Atsumu now. That’s a promising route.”

You smile down at the Oreos, thinking about the cheery bottle blonde. “Yeah… he invited me to a party this coming Friday.”

Aiko gives you a look and nudges your knee with her own. “You’d better wear that black dress.”

“You think?” you laugh, momentarily forgetting about Suna.

“Oh, definitely. Gotta look your best on the first date.”

“Right, and then after that I can just dress like a bum,” you joke. You purse your lips. “Rin might be there. Apparently he and Atsumu are pretty close.”

“Even better,” insists Aiko. “Make him suffer a little bit. He won’t like seeing you all dolled up on Atsumu Miya’s arm.”

“I’m not gonna try to make him jealous, Aiko,” you say, and Aiko shakes her head.

“No, I just think he needs to understand what he lost,” she says. “You don’t even have to pay attention to him at all, though. You should try and get to know Atsumu a little better.”

“Yeah, okay,” you say, before reaching down for another cookie. “Oh. We’re out.”

“Gas station run?”

“Gas station run.”

When Friday rolls around, you’ve successfully managed to avoid thinking about Suna the entire day. You have a calculus exam in the morning, and then a club meeting in the afternoon, and by the time you get done with everything it’s already time to get ready to leave for the party. It’s across town at someone’s loft apartment, so Atsumu offers to give you a ride, rolling up in a shiny Lexus, a sharp contrast from Suna’s old Chevy.

“Hey,” he says, getting out to open the door for you. “You look great.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you say. “Although, I might prefer the work uniform.”

“Oh, please,” Atsumu says with a grin. “That apron does nothing to flatter my figure.”

“Mhm.” The ride there is a slightly awkward one, but that’s normal, you tell yourself. You’ve gotten so used to the easy, teasing camaraderie you and Suna have that you’re rusty in regards to flirting. Atsumu has a different sense of humor, too, nothing like the dry sarcasm Suna’s such an expert in. You shake your head. Stop thinking about him.

Even sitting next to a new guy, you can’t help but run last weekend’s drama over in your head. The past few months have been a jumble of mixed signals, and last Saturday was no different. How he tenderly brushed your hair from your face as he hovered over you, how he pulled you into his arms afterwards … how he seemed almost jealous when you mentioned Atsumu. Was it really jealousy? Exactly how much does Suna Rintarou care for you? You roll the numbers inside your head, trying to quantify the soft touches and lingering stares. He’s not easy to read; trying to understand Suna is like trying to decipher Greek without ever taking a single class.

Even trying to get a measure on how much you care for him is difficult. You definitely like him as more than a friend. The only reason you agreed to the whole friends-with-benefits thing in the first place was because of a little crush that grew, that fed on that intimacy… but you’re not so sure now.

“Here we are,” says Atsumu, jolting you from your contemplation as he pulls up alongside the curb. When you climb out of the car, he takes you by the hand, flashing you a quick smile. Your heart trips over itself, and you smile back. “Let’s do this.”

Suna doesn’t show up to the party. He spends most of Friday busying himself at home, paying off a couple electricity bills, cleaning out the fridge. He even does a load of laundry. That’s how bored he is. By the time the clock strikes eight, he feels as though he’s Swiffered every single kitchen tile, folded every shirt, and wiped down every counter in the entire apartment, all to avoid stewing over you and him and all the ways he keeps messing up. But after doing everything on his to-do list and watching a movie and cooking his own dinner (unheard of!) he finds himself pacing around the living room, biting at his nails and thinking about you. More specifically, you and Atsumu. He hopes you’re not wearing that little dress you wore to the club with him a couple months ago. Not that you don’t look great in it — you do, and that’s the issue. The better you look, the more likely Suna will never get a chance to be with you again.

To be fair, he’s not entirely sure how much of a chance he’s ever had with you. You’re incredible, plain and simple. Gorgeous, intelligent, the best player two on every video game he’s ever played with you. You’re not especially adept at the games themselves; no, there’s just something about you. There’s always just been something about you he can’t seem to find anywhere else.

“Damn it,” Suna grunts aloud, flopping down on the couch. It’s nearing half past eleven now. He wonders what you’re doing. Dancing to some shitty music in some crowded living room. Sipping a can of cheap liquor. Letting Atsumu touch your waist, his hand dipping lower and lower until —

Suna buries his face in the couch cushion. He’s usually not one to let his imagination run away with him, but tonight seems to be one of many recent exceptions. If only there was a way to know where he stands with you, or at least where you stand with Atsumu…

Well, there is a way, actually. Almost of its own accord, his hand inches towards his phone, sliding it open and somehow finding its way into his Snapchat. Fingers shaking, Suna clicks on Osamu’s story. It’s dimly lit, a mass of bodies, loud, drunk guys and scantily clad girls. The music is too loud, even through the phone. Suna squints at the screen — there’s Aran, even Kita’s there, quietly sitting in the corner, but no sight of — Suna’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. Because there you are, and you’re not alone. You’re sitting on Atsumu’s lap, but he can’t see your expression because Atsumu is kissing you sloppily, and — oh, God — it looks like you’re kissing him back.

And you’re wearing the fucking dress.

“Damn,” Osamu says in the background. “Looks like he’s getting some tonight.”

Suna throws his phone across the room like it’s a grenade, staring down at his empty hands in disbelief. This can’t be happening. Not to him. Not to you.

For the first time, Suna Rintarou thinks he understands what it really means to want someone. Not in a sexual way, but in the deepest sense of the word. Want. He wants you, and he’s pretty sure he’s never wanted anyone or anything quite so much in his life.

All of a sudden, before his brain even has a chance to catch up, Suna finds himself shrugging on a jacket and snatching his keys from the table, dashing out the door like he’s being chased. If he leaves now, he thinks, starting the car and nearly slamming the door on his foot, he can get to the party before you leave. And then, well, then he’s not quite sure what he’ll do, but he’ll do something.

Again, though, it seems as if the universe might be against him, because there’s an accident on the highway and it takes twice as long to get across town as it should. Suna cusses loudly over the incessant honking and chews on the inside of his cheek until it bleeds. When the traffic lets up and he finally pulls up to the apartment complex, parallel parking in a spot that’s probably illegal, he races up the stairs and into the loft, grabbing the first partygoer he sees. The poor kid’s plastered beyond belief and stares at Suna like he’s an extraterrestrial, eyes glassy.

“You see a girl leave here? ‘Bout this tall, probably left with some douchey looking blonde dude?”

The kid blinks, hard and slow, before nodding. “Yeah, man, you just missed her. That your chick or somethin’? Because she was sucking face with —”

Suna spins on his heel before the kid gets a chance to finish his sentence. He’s lucky Suna doesn’t deck him the head, he’s so irritated.

“Sucking face,” he mumbles, climbing back into the car. He has the route to your house memorized (although he’s not sure how), and he’s pretty sure he breaks about twenty traffic laws trying to get there, so it takes significantly less time to arrive, but to Suna, it feels like an eternity. How did he ever sleep soundly at night knowing other guys had a shot at you before this? He doesn’t know, and he hopes he never has to worry about it again. Not after tonight.

He gets there just as Atsumu’s pulling out of the driveway. Suna flashes him a mental middle finger and resolves to kick his ass later. No time for that right now. You’re still standing on the front porch, and when Suna stumbles out of the car, you turn towards him, mouth agape.

“Rin? What are you—”

“Give me a chance.” He’s breathless, eyes wide and hair whipping around his face in the cool breeze. His heartbeat pounds in his ears like it’s about to burst blood vessels.

“Huh?”

“Give me a chance,” he repeats, reaching forward to take your hand. Your palm is cold against his. “I can do so much better, I promise.”

You furrow your brows. “What in the world are you talking about, Rin?”

The dam breaks. The dam breaks, and everything — the longing, the frustration, everything — comes pouring out in a waterfall of rushing words he doesn’t even have time to think over before they splash at your feet.

“I can do so much better than Atsumu. He doesn’t know you. I know you, and I, well, I’ve liked you since forever, okay? I know your favorite color and your birthday and which Chinese place you like to get takeout from on Saturday nights.” Suna clears his throat. “I know that you like to be hugged from behind and that you hate it when people see you cry. I know so many things about you, and I want to know more.”

“Rin—”

He holds up a hand. “Just listen. I know we’re just fuck buddies, or friends with benefits, or whatever the hell you want to call it, but I want to change that. You mean so much more to me than the sex. God, even if we never slept together again, I would still love you.”

You stare at him. “Love?”

Suna swallows hard. “Yeah, fuck it. Love. I love you. Whatever that means to you, it means to me. I love your stupid jokes and your stupid laugh. To be honest, I’m so in love it feels like I’ll never love anyone else.”

He stops to take a deep breath and a shaky laugh. “Pathetic, right? I know it is. I can’t help it. I’m well aware that Atsumu is way more charming and outgoing, and I was probably wrong when I said he wasn’t your type… but I just need to know if I have even the smallest chance of winning you over.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then another one. You’re gazing at him, head cocked, and the seconds tick by. He still has your hand in his, growing warmer via body heat. Suna feels himself grow increasingly nervous at your expression, curious and almost apathetic — until a wide smile breaks across your face. You laugh, and he thinks it must be the best sound he’s ever heard.

“You weren’t wrong.”

“What?”

“He’s not my type,” you say. “We didn’t click.”

“But — I saw, uh — Osamu’s story,” Suna stammers. “Sucking face.”

“Sucking face?” You squint in confusion before chuckling again. “Ah. Yeah, I kissed him. It was part of some stupid game. He’s kind of bad at it.”

“Atsumu’s a bad kisser?”

“Well,” you say, drawing the word out. “I wouldn’t say bad. It’s just… you’re better.”

Suna’s silent for a second, letting the words ricochet around his brain. He’s better. He’s a better kisser. It was just a game. You’re not into Atsumu. “So… does that mean…?”

“I love you, too.” You smile, and it’s not like your usual cocky grin. It’s sweet and almost… shy.

“You love me, too?” Suna repeats in utter shock. He hadn’t expected to get this far.

“That’s what I just said,” you say. “What are you, a parrot? Speaking of which, though, I think that whole speech was the most I’ve ever heard you talk.”

Suna doesn’t respond. Instead, he takes a step closer and pulls you in for a hug. A real hug, not like the hesitant embrace you’d given him on his birthday, or the side hug he gave you after running into you at the grocery market a few weeks ago. No, this is a true, bona fide hug, and he translates everything he’s ever wanted to tell you but couldn’t into his arms wrapping around your waist.

“So… wanna come in and watch a movie?”

A little while later, Suna’s stretched out on your mattress with you between his legs, chin resting on the top of your head. You’ve changed out of your dress and wiped the makeup from your face, and Suna catches you yawning in the corner of his eye. There’s a trashy romcom droning on your laptop at the foot of the bed. To any outside onlooker, the scene is mundane, just a typical couple enjoying each other’s company. To Suna, though, this is paradise.

It’s almost funny. It’s funny how, a week ago, Suna was a boy pining for a girl he thought he had no chance with. He looked at you and saw something unattainable, someone who would only ever want him temporarily. (And, unbeknownst to him, you felt the same way.) He experienced an overwhelming amount of want, heart knotting in on itself and twisting and turning until it pushed him over the edge, forcing him to confront his own desires. His own inadequacies.

It’s funny how love is what everyone longs for, but it’s also the hardest reward to earn. It’s the most uncomfortable, heart-wrenching, nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing pathway to happiness Suna’s ever seen. But still… he’d do it all over again if he had to. The months of headaches, the overthinking. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

Oh, well. What can he say? Suna leans down and presses a featherlight kiss to your temples, and you tilt your head up to smile at him. Love’s a funny thing.

Fortunately, Suna’s always down for a good joke.

1K notes · View notes

mercy-burning · 4 years ago

Text

To Be Near

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: It’s Spencer and Reader’s first night together since he got out of prison.

Category: FLUFF/SMUT (18+), and a ‘lil bit of angst in there too (it’s mostly just kinda sad tbh)

Warnings: Mild language, Smut (oral sex- female receiving, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk)

Word Count: 4.9k

Full Requests:

+ “...ahhh okay what about like a fluff&smut about seeing spencer after he got out of prison? like he’s all soft and “i wanna make love to you” ???” — @shatteredlovesick

+ “...First, congratulations on 1k! absolutely loved you “I’ve Got You” fic and was wondering if you could make something similar that has fluffy smut.” — @onesstop

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

***

Usually you loved the cold. Feeling the cool breeze on your face and cuddling up with blankets and cardigans and sweaters was just about the most comforting feeling in the world.

But no amount of blankets and cardigans and sweaters could have shaken the devastating chill that settled in your bones when Spencer was gone. And wearing his clothes only strengthened the loneliness that plagued you. It was a blaring reminder that he was spending his days actually behind bars and not with you, cuddled on the couch like you'd done a million times over. Like he should have been.

Sure enough, about a week went by and you barely saw him. The first time you'd seen him since he was released from prison was brief, right before he had to go back to work to get his mom back and safe to him. You held him close, breathing in as much of him as you could before he would be ripped away from you again, making sure he knew just how much you loved him and cared for him.

And what added salt to injury was the fact that even after he was released, he was incredibly busy. It seemed like bad thing after bad thing just kept happening, like a domino effect of evil that left you feeling colder. Because now you were plain scared. And alone.

Penelope was kind enough to text you with updates, and even though Spencer might have been physically okay, you knew that all of this stress and constant danger was probably eating away at him from the inside.

Eventually he'd called to let you know that everything was okay again, he and his mom on their way to a motel to recuperate in for a little while. Hearing his weary voice, broken and completely drenched in exhaustion was the only thing that kept you from begging him to come home to you— As much as you desperately needed him, wanted to comfort him, you knew that he needed time alone with his mom. So yet again, you'd told him how much you loved him and held on to the way he said it back, his soft voice humming low in your heart long after he hung up.

He texted you occasionally, little updates to let you know he was okay. And he rarely ever texted at all. Whenever he did it made your heart sing, seeing his naively adorable attempts at using emoticons coupled together with declarations of love or sometimes even stupid little jokes designed to put a smile on your face. You liked to imagine he sent them so he could picture your laugh in his mind, ringing out softly and sweetly as he read back your usual Lol, I love you, silly goose, or something along those lines.

When you finally did see him face-to-face again, it was days later. He briefly mentioned over text that his team was in trouble, but that it would be taken care of and that his mom was safe somewhere. Again your stomach twisted with nerves, hoping and praying that he would come back to you safely. It was always a possibility with his job that something bad would happen, as you've unfortunately witnessed a few times over, but the so-called comfort in knowing that truth didn't help ease your anxieties at all. Maybe they had once upon a time, but after the last few months, and even the last few days, you weren't sure you'd ever know true comfort until Spencer was safely in your arms for eternity.

He'd texted to say he was on his way over in the early morning, and your heart skipped several beats. And in attempt to make yourself look less disheveled and sleep-deprived, you put on a clean pair of clothes—sweats and a tank top with one of Spencer's cardigans—and brushed your hair. To make it all feel a little more real, you splashed cool water on your face and rubbed at your eyes to wake yourself up a bit.

You were patiently sitting on the couch, two warm cups of tea laid out in front of you on the low table when there was a knock on your door, followed by a soft, "It's me," ad you were to the door in an instant.

As always, the sight of him drove you half wild. He looked exhausted, his hair particularly messy and his clothing hung loosely around him. His eyes softened when he saw you, like he was finally in the one place he truly wanted to be, like he was home, and the sight of his bottom lip wobbling every so slightly was enough to have you pull him inside by the shirt and into your arms.

The bag slung over his shoulder dropped with a heavy thud to the ground, and both of his arms snuck to the back of your waist as you leaned up on your tip-toes and squeezed yourself into his body. Your arms clung to his neck, and the big sigh of relief that you felt leave his body utterly wrecked you.

The door to your apartment remained wide open as you stood there in the doorway and hugged each other, silently reuniting in a way that conveyed exhaustion and relief and comfort. There was a tinge of sadness there, too, and you knew it most likely stemmed from the self-deprecation you'd come to know Spencer was prone to. After all he'd been through in the past few months, you knew in your gut that feeling would most likely be very strong in his heart.

So you did your best to quell it, shoving your face further into his neck and running your hands through his hair as he squeezed you tight. Your heart pulled apart at the seams at the way he shook against you, low, shaky breaths that you knew to be cries expelling from his system at last. Deep down it was obvious that he hadn't taken the time to let it all out... Now that he was there with you, safe and out of harm's way, he had the freedom to let go in any way he chose, any way that would be easiest without any judgement or shame.

With you, Spencer was well and truly safe.

"I've got you," you breathed into his neck, your fingers gently massaging the back of his head. "I love you.

He tried to say it back, but when his throat willed to finally make a sound, all that came out was a choked sob.

You held him tighter and let him cry against you, his body going half-limp in your arms.

***

By the time Spencer had finished crying enough for you to move inside, drink your tea in silence, take a well-needed and soothing shower together, and get into bed, it was only noon. He was snuggled into your side, his head resting on your chest as you combed through his damp curls with your fingers. His own fingers drew mindless patterns over the expanse of your stomach, his whole hand shoved up under your shirt and basking in the warmth you provided.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting kinda hungry," you mumbled loud enough for him to hear. You'd been in silence for so long now, it almost felt too loud, even though you barely used your voice at all.

"I'd ask you to make your mac and cheese, but I don't want to leave the bed... I don't want to leave you."

You laughed a little, his head slightly bobbing at the motion. "I can order some Thai if you want. It won't be here for another half hour maybe, and we can stay in bed a little while longer."

"Okay."

You reached over to your bedside table, grabbing your phone and placing an order for delivery from your favorite Thai place. Just the thought of the food, saying the words out loud and feeling Spencer mutter soft Mmms into your skin at the thought of food made your stomach growl. You honestly weren't sure how long it'd been since you ate anything substantial, and Spencer was probably in the same boat.

Just as you promised, the both of you laid in bed for around thirty-five minutes before the food got there. He grumbled as you got up to answer the door, but you promised him you wouldn't be long and that after eating, you could stay in bed as long as you wanted to.

And that's what you did. You tried your hardest not to scarf everything down, not truly realizing just how hungry you were until the food was right in front of you, smelling as delicious as ever and ready to be consumed.

Spencer sat across from you at the table, though it was obvious in the way he kept looking up at you that all he wanted was to be touching you, to be enveloped in your warmth again. Your heart ached for him as you set your fork down and scooped more of the food onto it. Hoping to somewhat satiate his need to be near you, you reached your leg out under the table, dragging your bare foot over his calf. He smiled softly at you, his entire body seeming to relax again at your touch.

For the next ten minutes you ate in comfortable silence, your foot gently sliding up ad down his lower leg.

And when you were both finally done, he clung to you as you navigated the kitchen, throwing out garbage, putting dishes in the sink, and boxing up leftovers. His arms wrapped around your stomach as he stood behind you, his head resting on your shoulder and his hair tickling your cheek.

At one point you brought one of your hands up to brush his cheek, and your head careened to the side to give him a small kiss on the corner of the mouth. His hands slipped under your shirt then, fingers spreading and engulfing the surface area of your lower stomach. Their gentleness and warmth made you sigh as you slumped back against him, using your hand to cup his cheek as best as you could.

"I missed you so much, baby," you whispered, your thumb lightly stroking his bottom lip. Your wrist was cramping a little from the angle, but you didn't care.

Spencer leaned into your palm and kissed it gently, mumbling, "I missed you, too, sweetheart."

The relief and comfort that seeped out of his words made your heart swell, so much so that you couldn't stand it any longer. You turned around and hugged him again, your arms wrapping around his neck as his pressed firmly to your lower back. You squeezed him tight, peppering tiny kisses along his neck and shoulder blade. Eventually your kisses shifted along his jaw, then his cheek, and then you pressed the gentlest of kisses to his lips before moving to the other side and continuing your adventure along the other side of his neck.

He always loved when you kissed him like that, softly praising every inch of his skin through gentle lips and whispered I love yous in between.

You pulled back for a moment, smiling softly at him as your fingers interlocked behind his head, just at the nape of his neck.

"I... I don't know what I did to deserve you," he said with a slight crack in his voice. "I constantly put you through danger and worry, a—and somehow you still... still manage to make me feel like I deserve your love."

Your throat tightened, threatening to spill choked sobs. But you swallowed and pushed through, one of your hands sliding down over his neck and up to his cheek again. "Spencer, ever since I met you, all you've done is shower me with unconditional love and understanding. You... You teach me new things and you have this natural habit of making me feel like the only woman in the world. Every day, you show me how much you care about other people, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. It's... The bad days are hard, sure, but when I see your face for the first time in days, sometimes weeks? God... Spencer, there's nothing that compares to that feeling."

You were teary-eyed now, and Spencer was full-on silently crying, tears streaming down his cheeks, and you wiped them all away as you spoke to him.

"So yes, of course you deserve my love... You deserve every ounce of love the world has to offer."

You leaned up and kissed him then, tasting the faint saltiness of tears combined with the food you'd just eaten. If it meant seeing him smile, making him feel comfort and love, you would have kissed away all his tears.

And you were going to, moving to pepper more kisses along his cheeks where the water had fallen, but he brought his hands to your face and kissed you deeper, his body sinking into yours and daring you to never leave him.

You wouldn't, as long as you lived.

You stood higher on your tip-toes and clung to his neck as he kissed you, lips sliding over yours perfectly. And though everything about the way he kissed you was a declaration of love and gratitude for your affections and undying support, you'd have be lying if you said your belly didn't pool with a low-burning heat, reminiscent of a pot of boiling water. His hands on your face, the way his thumbs brushed over your cheek and his tongue barely probed your lips open, all of it was more than enough to make you dizzy.

Eventually he moved to kiss your jaw, goosebumps forming over your skin as he whispered against you. "I love you so much, Y/N..." His lips pressed to your neck. "So..." Your jawline. "...damn..." Under your ear. "...much..."

You couldn't help the choked whimper that fell from your lips as he gently nibbled on your earlobe, right before he spoke again. His hands slid down over your arms and interlocked themselves with yours, his breath hot next to your ear. "Let me show you... Please..." He started kissing your neck again, just as one of his hands migrated to the hem of your shirt, slipping under the fabric and tracing featherlight lines into your side. You whined again as he mumbled against your neck.

"Let me make love to you..."

Those six simple words were more than enough to push you off the edge, unable to take any more of this low-boiling heat in your stomach. You hummed low in your throat as your hands grabbed his wrists and placed them at your hips, daring them to firmly grip you— And they did. Spencer's lips dragged up your neck before finding your lips once more, and the whine that escaped you was nothing if not desperate.

He continued kissing you all the way back to your bedroom. Once your legs it the end of the bed, you buckled and sat down, too weak in the knees to stay upright any longer. He wasn't rough with you in the slightest, his lips still passionate but oh so slow and intoxicating, like sweet, thick honey. That alone made your limbs weak and your heartbeat as quick and loud as a drum roll. His hands roamed carefully over your body, up and under your shirt, over your arms, every so lightly between your thighs as he slipped between them to lay you down.

And once you were leaned all the way back, he brought his hands to your face, caressing your cheek the same way you'd caressed his.

He pulled back, looking into your eyes with his, their golden color almost completely swallowed by his pupils. His breath fanned gently over your mouth, and you smiled, resting one of your hands atop his on your cheek. You leaned into his touch and wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing him near and hoping you could stay with him forever.

"I love you," you whispered.

He leaned down and kissed you again, mumbling, "I love you," into your mouth as he did so. His lips migrated down your skin again, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses all over. "I missed you... Missed your warmth..."

He shifted down your body then, his kisses starting up again at your stomach where your shirt had ridden up. When his tongue licked a thin stripe across your lower stomach, you whimpered and trembled underneath him, feeling wetness already dampening your panties. He laughed against your skin, pressing another kiss to your stomach. "Missed all your little whimpers..." He slid downwards, trailing his fingers along the waistband of your pants before slowly tugging them down, his lips following the trail through each new centimeter of exposed skin. "...and how squirmy you get when I touch you like this..."

Your pants were off quicker than you thought, but he left your underwear on as he kissed up your legs, starting at your ankle and slowly making his way up to your thighs. Your hands fisted the sheets when his breath blew out over the crease of your thigh, eliciting another desperate whine from your throat. And though it was hard to hear over the blood rushing in your ears, thrumming nearly as loudly as your heart, you were still able to hear Spencer's low laugh at your reaction, a sound that made you even wetter.

"I missed teasing you like this," he continued, running his middle finger over your opening through the thin panties you had on. You squirmed again, hips jolting at his touch— a touch you hadn't felt in months. You were utterly wrecked, and he barely even did anything to you, a fact he picked up on pretty quickly.

"You missed it, too, haven't you, sweetheart? Hmm?" His finger pressed harder into you, no doubt feeling how wet, how warm and ready for him you were. "My poor, pretty girl, haven't been touched in months. It must have been so lonely..." Though his words were teasing, a means to get you hot and bothered, there was also an underlying tone of truth to them— of this aching pity and sadness and regret... His words were apologetic as much as they were teasing, and everything all at once was making you ache for him more.

"Y—Yes, baby," you choked out as best as you could, opening your eyes to see how thoroughly wrecked he was. "Fuck, I missed you so much... No... No one touches me li—ike you do."

"I'm so sorry for leaving you all alone, baby," he whispers, kissing your thighs once more before moving to where you were already craving his full attention. "Let me make it up to you..."

He replaced his finger with his tongue, warm and wet as it firmly pressed over your clothed cunt. A loud sigh escaped you as he kept it pressed there, ever so slightly curling the tip of it to reach further inside you. He pulled back after a few moments, pressing kiss after kiss all around the seams of your underwear until he reached your center again. He tugged the fabric down until it was off, kissing up your leg again.

"I can't wait to get reacquainted..." His lips moved softly against the skin on your inner thighs, moving closer to where you ached for him with every passing second. And then his face was right there, millimeters away from it when he spoke, his lips ever so lightly dancing over the slick flesh. "...with this pretty little pussy."

When his tongue darted out, you shattered beneath him immediately. It was only the tiniest of touches, the very tip of his tongue coming in contact just below your clit, and still it was enough to ruin you. Among the many lonely nights you'd had over the course of the last few months, you were met with dreams of this exact moment, Spencer's head between your legs as he unraveled you, and it always left you feeling even more lonely when you woke up.

But this was no dream. He was really there, in front of you, making up for lost time. And that's what made you lose control.

He kitten-licked your clit through your first orgasm of the night, and as you came down, you couldn't help but feel embarrassed at how quickly it took for you to fall apart.

"Oh, sweetheart... That was so damn beautiful." He brought his tongue out to lick through your folds again, humming lowly in he back of his throat. You watched him intently, trying not to shake, and noticed his eyes roll into the back of his head with a flutter as he delved further into you. The sight, accompanied by his tongue now plunging itself into you, made you cry out, your head hitting the bed and your hands clenching the sheets even harder.

He reacquainted himself with your pussy just fine, spending almost an hour alone exploring every way to make you come as if he'd never done it before. Each time you came down, he'd pull away and start off slow again, gently probing his fingers inside of you while his tongue massaged your clit every which way. It was like pure velvet, each stroke of his tongue and each curl of his fingers inside of you causing you to crash and burn over and over again. In between your high-pitched moans and cries, Spencer would occasionally mumble words of praise against your skin, a particular favorite of yours being the, "Perfect fucking cunt, princess..." right before gently sucking at your clit.

By the time he was finished, your three slow-building orgasms and the one quick one under his belt, his hair was absolutely wild as he looked up at you. He moved up your body, the wetness on his face glistening in the sunlight that poured through the bedroom window, and the hungry look in his eyes dissolved into absolute adoration and wonder as he took in your appearance.

Your mouth was partway open, your middle finger tucked between your teeth as you recovered from your highs. Sweat glittered over your brow and your chest heaved deeply, a smile forming on your lips when he bit his bottom lip and studied you.

"You sure you're okay to keep going?" he asked you gently, using a thumb to brush over your cheek.

The deep rasp in his voice after having been... occupied for the past hour sent a wave of pleasure coursing through your veins. So you nodded, removing your finger from your mouth and bringing his face down to meet yours in a deep, loving kiss that had you both weak in the knees.

You slid up to the head of the bed, your legs resting wide open as Spencer removed himself of his clothes. You rid your shirt as well, the two of you never losing eye contact as you bared yourselves to each other for the first time in months. The air between you two was utterly electric, all this time apart coming to an end at last. Your bodies practically buzzed with the nearness, your veins going numb each time he brushed up against you as he settled out of his clothes and in between your legs.

When he leaned forward, the head of his cock gliding up through your folds to ready himself, you sighed out, reaching up to grab his face with both of your hands. Your fingers gently brushed away stray strands of hair from his eyes, and you smiled, hoping to convey to him just how much you truly loved him. Sure enough, his eyes softened once again under your gaze, and mostly, almost entirely gone was the insecurity and sorrow that had plagued them.

"I love you, Spencer," you told him, bringing his face down so your noses were touching. You brushed your nose against his and then pressed a gentle kiss to it, right as he started to push into you. You captured each others' shaky, relieved sighs as he bottomed out, holding himself deep inside you and pulling your legs up to wrap around his arms. Your tongue licked up into his mouth as you whined, already so relieved to have him in your arms (and quite frankly your pussy) once again.

He started to move ever so slowly, never fully retreating all the way before pressing his hips back into yours, and the groan that left his throat as he felt you clamping around him wrecked you all all over again. "So tight and warm," he mused softly against your lips, accepting and returning every kiss you gave him as he continued a slow, searing pace inside of you. "I've missed you so much, pretty girl... Dreamt... about you almost every night..."

"Me, too," you admitted, softly moaning out at the burning between your legs. "Missed... feeling you inside me. You always... Ohhh... always f—fill me up so g—good." Pressure was already building between your hips again, threatening to pop like a balloon at any given moment. But you wanted to hold on, to revel in this moment as long as you could.

Your hands grazed over his shoulders, lightly digging your nails into the skin as he drove into you a little harder. His pace was still tantalizingly slow, though the force with which he showed you how much he loved you, accented with a sharp, loud slap of skin each time, more than made up for it.

It didn't help that you could hear how wet you were with each movement, how aroused he made you and how loved he made you feel. It was something he obviously knew, but being able to hear it, every wet and delicious sound that came from your body as he made love to you like that, praised him better than any words could possibly dream.

Still, he asked you anyway, a means of dirty talk if nothing else. "You hear that, princess? You hear how good I make you feel?"

You buried your face into his neck, incoherently moaning and grumbling out curses as he shifted his hips and angled himself deeper inside you. Your legs were burning from being bent and wrapped around his arms, but somehow that burn only added to the pressure building in your belly. You couldn't help clenching around him, an action which made him groan into your neck.

"Go ahead and come for me, pretty girl," he stuttered out. "I... I know you have to. Let go for me... Give me all you got..."

His words, strained and raspy, coupled with hot kisses to your neck certainly helped you get there, but you wanted more. "But I want you to come with me," you whimpered out, clutching onto his shoulders. "I wanna... be... together again."

To help him out, you clenched around him over and over, giving him a tighter space to work with, and a guttural groan escaped him as his hips started to stutter. "Together..." is all he could coherently get out.

As soon as the word left his lips, you both shattered, trembling and sparking to life with pleasure. He spilled over inside of you, white hot and thick. It was a feeling you missed dearly, the dreams of it never able to fully satiate your need for him. In turn your walls fluttered around him and you whined into his shoulder, bringing your hands up to grip his hair as his cock twitched inside of you and gave you everything he had to offer. You clung to the feeling as long as you could, rolling your hips up to keep it all in and ride out your high to the fullest extent.

In fact, you were pretty sure that even by the end, when he'd slumped over on top of you and loosened your legs, you were still orgasming, a low burn settling in your stomach as you kept clenching around him, almost like you were trying to drink him up into you like a milkshake through straw.

"B—Baby, I'm gonna... come again if you keep that up," Spencer stuttered, his hands combing through your hair now as his lips pressed into your neck.

You only hummed in response, wrapping your legs around his waist and hooking your ankles over his ass. You kept contracting slowly around him, rolling your hips upwards, even as his warm cum started to spill out of you. Soon enough, he was doing it again, filling you up with warmth and love, his mouth open and hot on the skin of your neck as he did so, muttering your name over and over.

Eventually you loosened your hold on him, every muscle in your body relaxing and falling to the bed with a low tingle of numbness. With Spencer kissing softly over your neck and up to your mouth, you were the most content you'd been in months.

You must have stayed in bed for hours, even though he tried to tell you that you should probably clean up. You only grumbled in response, holding him tighter to you and burying your face into his neck. Still, he laid there, rubbing your head and clinging to you anyways, finally glad to be home.

And even though you were technically home, it never really felt that way when he was gone— To be home was to be near him. And you never wanted to leave his side again, even though realistically you knew you'd need to be separated eventually.

But for now, you could be near him like he was never going to leave, reveling in the warmth and comfort that his arms provided.

And with you he could do the same.

***

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mochegato · 3 years ago

Text

Even the Losers

Chapter 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

“We have a problem,” Tim grumbled as he stumbled into the dining room. He threw the morning newspaper down on the table, letting it slide the last few feet until it stopped millimeters short of Bruce’s coffee.

Bruce sputtered his eggs and grabbed the paper, staring at the picture of him speaking with Marinette and Adrien that took up the entire front page above the fold. He threw the paper back on the table. “Son of a b…”

“We’ve been getting calls from PR all morning,” Tim interrupted him before Alfred got upset with Bruce for his language. “Because they’ve been getting calls from every newspaper, news station, blog, and interested citizen in the world, calling to ask them about it.”

Tim poured himself a large cup of coffee, larger than usual. He’d had patrol last night and gotten woken up at the crack of dawn this morning with calls about the story. So he was running on all of three hours of sleep and just wanted to crawl back into bed, but with this story, there was no chance of him getting to bed until after tonight’s patrol had already left.

It didn’t help that he was beating himself up for not picking up on the cues she was giving that night. He’d run into her. He and Stephanie had talked to her. He saw her freeze up when she realized who he was. He knew she was acting off, he just hadn’t thought it was nefarious. If anything, it seemed hurt, not scared. He should have caught onto her body language. He should have noticed how she seemed to freeze when he mentioned the family. She must have thought he was fishing, letting her know he was onto her and her plan to do this.

“You’d think after all the false alarms they’ve reported in the past that they’d know better by now. Not every black haired, blue eyed child is a Wayne. I’ve had PR draft up a statement that while we appreciate her support for the orphans, she is not, in fact, a Wayne,” he finished, taking a bite of his muffin, missing Bruce’s grimace.

Damian grabbed the paper, wrinkling it in his clenched fists as he scanned the text. “She must have orchestrated the whole thing to put this out. How else would they know these details?”

“No,” Dick commented thoughtfully, prying the paper away from Damian to take a look at the picture. “If she was in on it she would have put on a better act. Look at the image. She isn’t playing into it. She looks scared, not excited to ‘introduce her fiancé to her family’.” Dick quoted. He briefly scanned the paper for more information.

All the evidence appeared to be the picture, her physical features, and some call logs to her parent’s business. Dick scrunched up his face with concern. While not damning, it was interesting. He didn’t know any reason Bruce would have to contact a bakery in Paris. “Not to mention the story would have gone out yesterday for a bigger circulation boost. Sundays are the big press days. They wouldn’t have waited until Monday. That suggests they researched, or rather stole the information. And no quotes from her in here.”

“Fine,” Damian growled, acquiescing to his logic. “Maybe she did it after the fact. She saw the opportunity and took it.”

“No,” Bruce admitted quietly. “She wouldn’t have had to do that.” The room seemed to become still as everyone turned to face him. “If she wanted this story to go out she could have put it out at any time. And she would have played up the dance, would have sought me out at the gala. But she didn’t.”

“What dance?” Duke asked cautiously, his focus entirely on Bruce now.

“I asked her to dance. She said no. Ran away as quickly as she could actually,” Bruce chuckled self-deprecatingly as he stared at the paper in Dick’s hands.

Damian blinked at him as though the longer he stared the clearer what was happening would become. But no matter how hard he stared, the image didn’t become clearer. If anything, things became hazier. “This could all be a clever ruse. She wants to appear innocent so when you confront her she can point out that she didn’t do those things. It says she’s an aspiring designer. This could all be for publicity.”

“She wouldn’t have to go through all that,” Bruce stated again, more finality in his voice. He finally looked up, but still didn’t make eye contact with any of them.

Dick stared at Bruce, taking in his response, letting the words and their broader meaning sink in. The words he wasn’t saying hung in the room like thick smoke, winding their way into everything they touched, stealing the air out of the room. “What are you saying Bruce?” Dick asked cautiously

“The story’s true, isn’t it,” Tim observed. It was a statement more than a question.

Bruce nodded with a sigh. “Except for the meeting her fiancé part.”

Tim knew it was true even before Bruce’s verbal acknowledgement. The pieces suddenly fit together. It was the only thing that made sense. That’s why her reactions were off. That matched. He saw her face when they told her the gala was to celebrate family. He saw her body language change sharply when Stephanie joked about Bruce taking in everyone he saw. He wasn’t sure what to make of it at the time and didn’t really even try because it didn’t seem relevant and they had more important issues to think about, namely celebrating Duke. After the story, he thought the reactions were a tell. But now… now that he knew, they were a tell, but for something else entirely.

She was trying to be polite about it, not letting on how hard it was hitting. And oh God, didn’t that make it worse. Everything they said had been cordial, joking at Bruce’s expense, at their own expense. But with the new knowledge… it was at hers. They weren’t jokes, they were digs. They were attacks. They were him putting her ‘in her place’; out of the family. Tim took in a shuttering breath and collapsed on the couch, his head in his hands.

He would have so much to apologize for. He would have to find her and make sure she knew he didn’t mean his words the way they must have come across. He knew how it felt to not be accepted. He knew how it felt to not feel loved by your parents. He knew how it felt to have your place in the family questioned constantly, to be attacked, to be unwelcome. He wouldn’t wish that on enemies, let alone family.

“Who is she, Father?” Damian demanded.

Bruce met his eyes, guilt swimming in his own. “She’s your half-sister. Her mother and step-father have been raising her in Paris,” Bruce answered calmly.

Damian fought the gasp his lungs demanded against his will. His father was confirming it. He was acknowledging her. But never trusted them with the information. “Were you ever going to tell us?” Damian finally asked with forced coolness

“I was letting the dust settle on introducing Duke before I broached it,” Bruce hedged.

“So you just found out,” Damian asked angrily. That would make sense. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them, him. It was that he didn’t know until recently. Of course that was what happened.

“No.”

Damian gaped at him, his hastily built protective construct shattering with one word. “How long have you known?”

“Since she was born.” Damian gaped at him. He’d known. He’d known since before Damian came to live with them and still never told them. He didn’t trust him. Even after all he’d done, he still didn’t trust him. And now he was letting this unknown, this daughter, even just thinking the word made him wrinkle his nose in disgust, do whatever she wanted. He trusted her but not him.

“You have a daughter, a biological daughter you’ve known about for decades and that you never told us about,” Dick asked again in a daze. He fell into a chair staring at Bruce incredulously. There was no way. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He loved kids. He loved his kids. Why would he send one away? He hadn’t even wanted to do that to Jason.

“So I wasn’t the only one who didn’t know?” Duke asked. He looked around, taking in the stunned, disbelieving, hurt expressions.

“Not just you,” Damian gritted out.

Duke sucked in a breath and pulled out his phone, texting Jason and Cass to let them know what was happening. They were going to want to know as soon as possible too. All of them were going to have questions and issues with this information. And if the conversation went on much longer, they may want to be involved.

“Why was she there last night? What did she want? Surely she wouldn’t have come without a plan,” Damian pressed. Nobody had access to the kind of power and money they had and just walked away. If she was presenting herself and not to them, to the press, there must be a reason, a plot. They needed to find out more about her to figure it out. “How did she get a ticket in the first place?” That might be a place to start. It would give an insight into her accomplices and they could be pressed later for more information.

Bruce sighed and looked back down at his food, pushing the plate away, no longer hungry in the slightest. “I can’t answer how she got her ticket. As to why she was there, she was there to talk about a position for a friend of hers… with Lucius apparently, not me.”

“She was using her name to get her subpar friend a job,” Damian spat in disgust. There had to be more though. With their name, she could get much, much more. This had to be an opening gambit. The job must be placing an operative, loyal to her, within their institution. Next was the stunt with the press. They needed to figure out her next steps.

“No,” Bruce insisted. “She didn’t mention her association. He doesn’t know… well, he does now. He spoke to me after the gala, said he discovered one of our managers is stealing ideas and there was someone he was going to spend the weekend researching but he was excited about hiring him. Luthor is trying to hire him, so if we don’t act fast we’ll lose him. I’m betting that was her friend.”

“You don’t know that,” Damian growled out. “That could be a coincidence.”

“I’ll confirm with Lucius today, but it fits with what I know,” Bruce insisted calmly. “From what her mother has told me over the years, it’s the kind of thing she would do; go well out of her way to help a friend. And her mother let me know she was planning on attending the gala to talk about hiring her friend. I just thought she was going to talk to me.”

“Why didn’t you tell us,” Dick asked breathlessly. He was staring at Bruce with hurt saturating his eyes. He heard nothing after Bruce admitting he’d known about her and never told them. He was aware Bruce had been saying things for the last few minutes but none of it had registered. None of it was what he needed to know.

Bruce sighed and ran his hand over his face. “Nobody knew. Nobody but me and her mother and step-father. It was easier that way.” Easier to pretend was left unsaid. Easier for Bruce to pretend like he hadn’t cut her out of his life, like he didn’t regret it every day. Easier for Bruce to try to forget.

“Not even her?” Duke asked.

“Not even her,” Bruce confirmed with a sigh. He ran his hand over his face.

“Why?” Dick was staring at him in wide eyed confusion. It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. He’d been with Bruce for twenty years and never heard a whisper of a biological daughter. But she existed. And he knew. Bruce took a deep breath and Dick scowled. “I swear to God, B, if you say some dumbass excuse like to protect her…”

“She has a happy life. Her mother and step-father love her beyond words. They support her, love her, encourage her. They’re there for her whenever she needs it. They never miss an event. Family dinners every night. She has friends… a good life. She’s safe. She never had to worry about defending herself. She never had to be taught what to do when she got kidnapped. Never had to… doesn’t remember seeing the people around her dead from the latest rogue attack. Not like what she would have here…” he again left the last part of the sentence off. The “with me” was left for everyone to fill in on their own.

“You’re a good father,” Tim assured him weakly, because at this point, with this information…

“I hope so.” Bruce gave him a weak smile. “But when she was born… I had an obligation. I had a responsibility.”

“She was your responsibility!” Dick yelled, his face suddenly contorting in anger and frustration with Bruce.

Bruce looked away stoically, face suddenly a mask devoid of emotion. “She had a better option and I made sure she got it.”

The room was silent for a few moments while his words settled in. The only sound was Dick seething in his seat. “But she doesn’t know you? You never visited. You never interacted with her. Even not telling her who you were to her,” Tim clarified.

Bruce shook his head. “I visited her final project for her degree a few weeks ago under the guise of research for the fabric project. She’s a designer. I was hoping to get her in on the fabric project. I thought it would be a good cover to get her comfortable with the family. But I didn’t talk with her while I was there.” He chuckled slightly at the memory. “I couldn’t even get close. There were too many people talking to her, congratulating her, offering her internships. Her work was beautiful.”

“But you’ve talked with her parents,” Tim checked.

He sighed and waved his hand helplessly. “I spoke with Sabine every so often to check on Marinette, make sure she was okay. I helped pay for her schooling, but even that was disguised as an investment into her parents’ company.”

“So her parents were having you pay for their company, holding the secret over your head,” Damian spat out.

“No!” Bruce growled. He knew Damian was having a hard time with this. Hell, that’s one of the main reasons he waited so long, because he knew Damian wouldn’t react well. Damian would have taken it as an attack on his position in the family. And after the way he treated Tim and Dick when he first found out about them… They could protect themselves against his attacks. She wouldn’t have been able to. He didn’t know how far Damian would actually go and he didn’t want Damian to have to find out either. He had been waiting until Damian was more settled, more secure in the family and their unconditional love for him before he reached out to her. But he wasn’t going to let him disparage Sabine and Tom. They’d been nothing but understanding.

“They only let me put in the amount for tuition. They wouldn’t allow me to give any more than that and Marinette got a scholarship for her university so she didn’t need any assistance. I tried to keep giving them money for her to at least have spending money but they refused. They stopped accepting the transfers. They only relented when I said it would look suspicious. So they’ve been creating a trust for her with it.”

Damian grumbled and looked away. Whatever their game was, they were certainly good at it.

Bruce dropped his head into his hands. “Nobody was supposed to know about her until I was sure it was safe,” Bruce grumbled into his hands. “Until I’d had a chance to talk to everyone about it.”

“Well now everyone knows, so maybe now is a good time to start trying to make that connection,” Dick growled.

“If she’ll let us,” Tim added. He remembered the look in her eyes when he talked about his… their family.

“It’s never too late to start trying to bond,” Dick insisted. His eyes were bordering on wild. They could bring this back, right? The family had come back from worse. They’d faced steeper hills. Hell, Damian tried to kill them when he first came. Jason had also tried to kill them all more than once when he came back. She couldn’t be that bad. They just had to make the first move. “We just have to let her know we want to.”

Tim shook his head and looked down, not at all convinced it really was as easy as that. Tim was awkward on a good day. He could make friends but usually they made the first move. He was pretty certain she wouldn’t make the first move in this instance. Damian wouldn’t accept her, period. Dick would crowd her. Jason would… whatever Jason did, probably disappear. She wasn’t a Robin so he probably wouldn’t try to kill her. Cass would try, but her success depended on Marinette understanding what Cass wasn’t saying. And Bruce… Bruce was never good at understanding emotions or sympathizing. Honestly, their best hope was Duke.

Duke breathed out a deep sigh and looked away. This family was not easy to get along with or find your place with. And bonding with each other? He managed because he fought next to them. They bonded in the field, in their suits. He wasn’t sure if they realized that about themselves. If they interacted outside the suits it was because of the bond they formed inside them. She wouldn’t have that opportunity and without it… The prognosis was not good.

“What are you going to do, B?” Tim asked tentatively. “Because whatever your plans were, now she knows and she’s dealing with it on her own. She… You need to talk to her.”

Bruce sucked in a breath and massaged his temples. “I know.”

“And you need to apologize,” Dick added firmly.

Bruce nodded. “I know.”

“No, you don’t,” Dick growled. “You have no idea what has to be going through her head right now.” He grabbed his bag and stalked out of the manor, slamming the door as he left.

“And you need to decide what we’re going to tell the public,” Tim added. “We need to put a statement out soon.”

“I know,” Bruce agreed. His voice this time was more detached. That was something he would have to decide, but that wasn’t the priority right now and not something he wanted to do without her input.

He needed to come up with a new plan and quickly. This was nothing like the one he had come up with. He was supposed to have more time. He was supposed to be able to ease into this. He was supposed to be able to feel things out before deciding a path. He was supposed to control the environment and how his family found out.

But now he was thrown into it, they all were, and he had no idea how to proceed. He didn’t know her well enough to anticipate how she would react to the situation or to him. He didn’t know her well enough yet to know the best way to approach her. He needed to come up with a game plan. He sighed heavily. He had to get into the office, not show anything out of the ordinary. And once he was behind his office door, he could talk to Sabine. She would know what to do.

Chapter 5

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#maribat #bio!dad bruce #bio dad bruce wayne #roynette #Even the Losers #mbdbwm2021 #prompt - bonding

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years ago

Note

hi bestie! xmas request for u <333 could you do one where the avengers clearly know that peter and the reader like eachother, so they (very undiscreetly) place mistletoes literally everywhere in the hq to get the lil babies of the groups to kiss? thank uuuuuuu love u!

Under The Mistletoe

pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Masterlist

“Good morning everyone.” You greeted the Avengers as you walked in the kitchen one morning.

“Good morning.” Peters eyes followed you as you sat down next to him at the table. “I made you hot chocolate.”

“You did? You’re so sweet.” You took the mug from him and kissed his forehead. “Thank you.”

“Well you mentioned last night that you were always freezing in the morning so I thought this would warm you up.” Peter smiled sweetly at you, face flushed from the kiss.

“You’re too good to me. I was gonna put some whip cream on it. Do you want some?” You offered as you went to the refrigerator.

“Sure. Thank you.” Peter nodded as you put some whip cream on his hot chocolate. The rest of the Avengers watched the interaction, exchanging knowing glances every once in a while.

“So, what did you guys do last night?” Natasha asked curiously as she leaned on her hand.

“We went on patrol together and then walked around the city. It was snowing so it was really pretty.” You smiled as you remembered the night before. Natasha and Bruce made eye contact, giving each other a knowing look.

“Didn’t you get cold?” Bruce asked for his own amusement.

“My suit has a built in heater.” Peter told him.

“But Y/n’s suit doesn’t.” Tony added, understanding what was going on.

“Peter had his arm around me so the heat kept us both warm.” You told them as you sipped your mug, making everyone gush.

“Uh huh.” Tony nodded as he watched Peter put his arm around your chair. “So you went for a moonlit stroll through the city. Pretty romantic, don’t you think? Was it a date?”

“What?” Peter sputtered. “No.”

“We’re just friends.” You nodded a few too many times.

“You got some whip cream on your face.” Peter noticed the white dollop on your nose.

“Oh. Oops.” You laughed in embarrassment and went to wipe it off.

“I got it.” Peter wiped your face with his thumb, leaving both of you in a blushing mess.

“Thanks.” You giggled, gazing lovingly into his eyes.

“Right. Just friends.” Rhodey grimaced as he watched the disgusting love fest in front of him.

“So what are you doing today?” Natasha asked, finding the whole situation hysterical.

“We were gonna watch some holiday movies in my room before patrol.” Peter told her.

“Speaking of that, do you want to get started?” You asked him. “We have a lot to get through.”

“Sure. Bye guys.” Peter waved before resting his hand on the small of your back and leading you out of the room. Once you left, the Avengers let out the collective laugh they had been holding in.

“So…they’re in love, right? We can agree on that?” Tony asked as he looked around the room, seeing everyone nod at him.

“I have never seen anyone so whipped.” Rhodey laughed as he sipped his coffee.

“How have they not admitted their feelings?” Nat asked the room. “It’s so obvious.”

“This is worse than me and Nat.” Steve commented.

“Or me and Nat.” Bruce added.

“Or me and Nat.” Tony agreed.

“When are those crazy kids gonna get together?” Steve chuckled as he opened the newspaper.

“This gives me an idea.” Tony narrowed his eyes as he got a familiar devilish glint in his eyes.

“Oh no.” Steve recognized the glint. “This can’t be good.”

“By the end of the holiday season, I want Y/n and Peter to be together.” Tony said decidedly. “This will require a group effort in making it happen. In the weeks leading up to the holidays, I expect each and every one of you to get our dear Peter and Y/n to realize they like each other.”

“How do you expect us to do that?” Nat humored him.

“You will all plant mistletoe somewhere in the building.” Tony grinned wickedly. “The mistletoe that gets the most kisses out of them wins.”

“Wins what?” Bruce asked, just as intrigued as the rest of the team.

“Whatever you want. I don’t know if the giant building with my name on it gave it away, but I have money.” Tony stated. “Lots of it. Or how about this, the winner can pick and design a new room to be added to the tower.”

“I could use a physical therapy room.” Rhodey spoke up. “I don’t know if you guys remember, but my legs don’t work on their own anymore ever since I fell out of the sky.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” Steve realized.

“Yeah. Nobody really talks about that.” Bruce agreed.

“I think we could all benefit from a new training room.” Nat threw in. “The old one has a permanent sweaty man smell.”

“We already have a training room. What we really need is some personal up keeping. Keeping myself this blonde is not cheap. A hair parlor in the building would be nice.” Steve suggested.

“Parlor.” Tony chuckled under his breath.

“I second that.” Bucky piped up.

“Of course you do, Jared Leto.” Tony teased.

“We don’t need a hair salon. What we need is another lab.” Bruce declared.

“Or a ballet studio.” Nat gasped.

“I think we should install an Olive Garden.” Bucky shrugged.

“How about a room full of murals of myself?” Thor smiled. “You can all gaze upon them and push yourself to stop being tiny and small.”

“Or another gym.” Rhodey shrugged.

“Or a wine cellar. But for beer! A beer cellar.” Thor cheered.

“We can discuss the room later.” Tony quieted everyone down. “If you really want these things, get the kids together. You know what you have to do.”

Tony

You and Peter often ate breakfast together in the same spot everyday, and Tony used that information to his advantage. He skillfully hung some mistletoe above your usual seats and patiently waited for your arrival. Soon enough, Tony heard your footsteps coming into the kitchen.

“Hey Petey.” You rubbed Peter’s back before taking a seat next to him. “Hi Mr. Stark.”

“Hey guys.” Tony smiled before looking up and gasping. “Oh golly gee, would ya look at that? Mistletoe! Who put that there?”

“Oh, wow.” Peter said as he looked up to see mistletoe hanging above the two of you. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Yeah. I probably wouldn’t have looked up if you hadn’t pointed it out.” You said skeptically as you eyed Tony.

“Ha.” Tony forced a laugh. “Well, now you see it. Bye!”

He quickly left the room and hid behind a wall where he could watch his plan unfold.

“That wasn’t at all weird.” You chuckled as you turned in your seat.

“He probably put Red Bull in his protein shake again.” Peter laughed as well, fingers brushing yours a little on the table.

“Yeah.” You nodded, suddenly feeling awkward now that you were both aware of the mistletoe hanging above your heads. You both looked away from each other, red in the face and sneaking occasional glances at the plant.

“I, um, I’ve never actually seen mistletoe in person before.” Peter said to break the silence. “I’ve only heard about it in songs.”

“Me too.” You nodded rapidly. “Or in movies and stuff.”

“Yeah.” Peter gulped. “And stuff.”

You looked at each other for a moment, shy smiles on your faces.

“I mean, since it’s both of our first times getting caught under it, it’d be a shame not to honor the tradition.” You suggested sheepishly as you averted your eyes.

“Right.” Peter said quickly. “It’s tradition. We basically have to.”

“Yeah. It’s practically a right of passage for the holiday season.” You said simply as you leaned closer to Peter.

“Exactly.” Peter agreed, leaning in as well. Your faces were almost touching now, just a few more inches until contact.

“Um.” You let out a nervous laugh before shutting your eyes and leaning in. Peter met you the rest of the way, your lips connecting directly under the mistletoe. You smiled a little into the kiss before pressing your hand to his cheek to keep him in place. Peter pulled away after a minute, gazing fondly in your eyes as he opened them. He’d been waiting to kiss you for the longest time, and it was just as perfect as he imagined.

“Thanks.” Peter said, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment after he said it.

“You’re welcome.” You laughed at him, squeezing his shoulder in admiration.

“I’m glad we could, erm, fulfill the tradition.” Peter laughed at his own awkwardness as he shook his head.

“Me too.” You nodded with a flushed face. “I feel more in the holiday spirit already.”

“Same, same.” Peter trailed off, looking around the room to distract from the awkwardness.

“Can we just pretend that didn’t happen and eat our breakfast?” You requested, looking at him shyly.

“Please.” Peter agreed. “It never happened.”

Rhodey

Bruce was making his way to the lab when he saw Rhodey hiding behind a wall, staring at hanging mistletoe.

“Why are you standing here?” Bruce whispered as he stood behind Rhodey.

“I told Y/n to meet me in the kitchen and I’m sending her a bunch of texts so she keeps her eyes on her phone. I also told Peter to meet me in the theater. They’ll have to go through that doorway where I strategically placed mistletoe. Once they bump into each other, they’ll have to kiss and I’ll get a point.” Rhodey explained his masterplan in a hushed tone.

“Why do you want them to bump into each other? Can’t they just see each other in the doorway?” Bruce whispered back.

“Man, have you ever seen a romantic comedy?” Rhodey sighed. “The girl has to bump into the boy so he knows she’s clumsy and not like other girls.”

“I think you’re getting a little too invested in this. It’s just a room.” Bruce reminded him, beginning to think he was behind on the contest.

“Its not about the room.” Rhodey insisted. “I just want to beat Rogers and his stupid parlor.”

“Shh.” Bruce hushed him. “Here they come.”

Bruce and Rhodey watched as you and Peter smacked into each other in the doorway.

“Oh, sorry. I wasn’t looking.” Peter said as he caught you from falling.

“That’s okay. I wasn’t looking either.” You smiled at him, staying in his arms.

“How are you gonna get them to notice the mistletoe?” Bruce whispered.

Rhodey silently took out a large fan and switched it on, sending a breeze towards you and Peter. The breeze made the bells on the mistletoe chime, causing you and Peter to look up.

“Is that mistletoe?” He asked as he pointed to it.

“It looks like it.” You commented. “I guess Mr. Stark decorated the tower.”

“Kinda crazy we got caught under it twice.” Peter chuckled nervously, hoping he’d get the chance to kiss you again.

“I know. But hey, it’s tradition.” You shrugged, also hoping you’d get to kiss him.

“Yeah. Tradition.” Peter was barely listening to himself speak as he stared at your lips. You laughed a little as your arms went around his neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. It was just as good as the first time, if not better. You pulled away after a moment and sighed against his mouth.

“I, um, I gotta meet Rhodey in the nitchken.” You stumbled over your words.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to see him in the popcorn palace.” Peter spoke, not even knowing what he was saying.

“I’ll see you later, Petey.” You squeezed his arm gently and made your way to the kitchen.

“Bye.” Peter mumbled before going to the theater. Rhodey turned to Bruce with a boastful grin and held a finger to symbolize the point he has just gotten. Bruce swallowed nervously, realizing he had to get on it if he wanted to win.

Bruce

“Banner.” Tony came to Bruce’s side with a suspicious look. “You look awfully devious today.”

“You’re much more likely to walk next to someone than to be caught under a doorway with them. That’s why I put a bouquet of roses and mistletoe on the table between their rooms. Every time they pass it, they’ll have to kiss.” Bruce explained as he turned to Tony with bloodshot eyes. He had been working on the plan all night and it showed.

“You unsuspecting genius.” Tony gasped.

“How is that unsuspected?” Bruce deadpanned. “I’m a certified genius. That’s why I was recruited.

“Yeah? And I’m a certified freak. 7 days a week.” Tony said as he stared at the bouquet of mistletoe. It didn’t take long for you and Peter to come out of your rooms and meet in front of the bouquet.

“Hey, Petey.” You greeted him. “What are you up to?”

“I was gonna grab a snack and then watch Dance Moms compilations.” Peter told you.

“Without me?” You pretended to be offended.

“I was gonna ask you to join.” Peter rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“I’d love to.” You smiled at him. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, is this mistletoe?” Peter realized the bouquet right as you were about to leave.

“Damn, it’s everywhere, huh?” You laughed as you touched the roses, warmed by the color.

“Do we still have to kiss of its not over our heads?” Peter wondered.

“Yes!” Bruce whispered sharply.

“You heard that too right?” Your eyes widened as you looked around for where the voice came from.

“Yeah. I thought it was my conscience.” Peter sighed in relief. Your eyes flickered from the bouquet to Peter, back to the bouquet.

“I mean, we might as well kiss.” You shrugged. “Mistletoe is still mistletoe.”

“You’re right. It would be a waste not to.” Peter nodded eagerly.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.” You smiled as you pulled him into a kiss. This kiss lasted longer than usual as you both let it linger.

“The plan was smart but you only got one kiss out of it.” Tony whispered to Bruce as you and Peter went to the kitchen.

“Just wait.” Bruce told him. Some enough, you and Peter returned with an armful of snacks.

“Oh, we passed it again.” Peter said robotically, knowing you’d pass it again.

“Oops.” You said sarcastically. “I guess we have to kiss again.”

“Ugh. Every time.” Peter rolled his eyes as he pulled you towards his lips. You gripped his shirt collar and continued kissing him as you pulled him into your room.

“See?” Bruce smirked. “Certified genius.”

Down the hall, Natasha had seen the whole thing, chewing her lips as she came up with a plan.

Natasha

Natasha set her plan in motion a few days later, waiting in the kitchen for you as she stirred a bowl of muffin mix. Peter sat at the counter, reading over one of Bruce’s articles in a book. You came into the kitchen wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that matched Peters, the sight of you making Peter smile.

“Hi Nat.” You beamed at her as you took a seat next to Peter at the kitchen counter. “Whatcha making?”

“I’m making muffins with the berries from mistletoe.” Nat said cheerfully. “They should be really good.”

“You bake?” You asked curiously. “You mean they taught you culinary skills when training you to be an assassin?”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me. For example, I love ballet. We might even be getting a ballet studio in the tower soon.” She said coyly, making you and Peter exchange a suspicious glance.

“Wow. That’ll be really cool.” Peter played along, skeptically of her intentions.

“Right? Does this look okay to you guys?” Nat asked as she held the mistletoe above your head. “I can’t tell it it’s good to use or not.”

“It looks fine to me.” Peter shrugged as he looked up at it.

“Oh, silly me.” Nat clicked her tongue. “You guys are totally under it. I guess you’ll have to kiss.”

You and Peter exchanged another look before pecking each other on the lips.

“Hmm. I still can’t tell. Can you check again?” Nat asked as she held it up again.

“It still looks fine.” You told her, growing suspicious.

“And you still have to kiss.” She sighed like it was an inconvenience. You narrowed your eyes at her before kissing Peter on the cheek.

“Are you guys sure it’s okay? One more time, please.” Nat held it over your heads a final time. Peter looked at you skeptically before leaning in for a kiss. Both of you were well aware of the sneaky smile on Natashas face.

“Wait, let me see if I can find another one.” Natasha took another bunch of mistletoe out of her grocery bag and pretended to inspect it. She made a whole show of it, making it look like she simply couldn’t find out if it was okay to use. She sighed sadly and looked to you guys for help before holding it up. You and Peter laughed in disbelief before kissing on the lips.

“Wow. Did I accidentally make you guys kiss 4 times?” Nat spoke loudly, as id she was letting all the people in the tower know. “That’s a lot. Looks like we’ll be getting that ballet studio after all.”

“Yeah. That is a lot.” Thor appeared in the doorway upon hearing Natashas declaration. He eyed you and Peter with a ponderous look on his face, becoming aware that he was losing the competition.

“Oops. I just remembered that mistletoe is poisonous.” Nat finished her bit. “Guess I won’t be making these! Bye guys!”

She swiftly left the room, leaving the mistletoe on the counter. You and Peter looked at each other, equally confused about what was happening. Thor walked further into the kitchen and pretended to take interest in the mistletoe. He held it up over his head before holding it over you and Peter.

“Are you two sure this mistletoe is good for use?” He asked, stealing Nat’s idea.

“We’re not kissing for you.” Peter told him flatly.

“I never liked you anyway.” Thor stated as he dropped the mistletoe and left the kitchen. He wandered the tower until he found Pepper reading in the living room.

“Pans. I have some bad news.” Thor sighed as he laid on the couch like he was in a therapists office. “The competition your husband started is rigged.”

“Why do you say that?” Pepper wondered.

“Because I’m losing!” Thor whined. “Gods do not lose to humans. Unless it’s a contest for tiny people.”

“How many kisses have you gotten?” Pepper asked, well aware of the contest.

“0 so far.” He sighed. “Everyone else has four or five. Banner has seven!”

“So you just have to come up with a plan that blows everyone else out of the water.” Pepper shrugged.

“Like what?”

“Everyone else has gotten them to kiss, right?” Pepper asked.

“Yes.” Thor nodded.

“You can get them to date.” Pepper said like it was simple.

“Why, that’s brilliant! Thank you, Pans!” Thor cheered as he got off the couch. “You have done me well.”

“You’re welcome.” Pepper chuckled as she flipped the page.

“Wait, your husband is also in this competition.” Thor realized. “Why are you helping me?”

“Because when Tony wins something, he gets way too cocky and thinks he’s above doing any laundry or cleaning.” Pepper explained. “Someone else has to win or he’ll buy Mexico or something.”

“Thank you, lady Pans.” Thor grinned. “I will not disappoint.”

Thor

“May I come in? I’m just kidding. I am coming in regardless of your answer.” Thor chuckled as he barged into your room. You and Peter had been sitting on the bed, jumping from fear as he came in.

“Hi, Thor.” You said skeptically as Thor pulled up a chair. “Can we help you with something?”

“For the past few weeks, the Avengers have been holding a stupid contest that I am losing to see who can get you two to kiss the most.” Thor explained. “They have been using mistletoe to carry out this stupid contest.”

“Wait, what?” You and Peter looked at each other in shock. Suddenly, the strange behavior and random mistletoe sightings all made sense.

“That’s why there’s mistletoe everywhere?” You asked. “And why did you guys do this in the first place? Why us?”

“Because you two like each other.” Thor shrugged. “And everyone knows it. Except for you two. You don’t know it.”

“What?” Peter sputtered. “We do not-“

“Shh.” Thor hushed him. “Don’t talk to me. Talk to each other. You’re welcome.”

Thor smiled kindly before getting out of his chair and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

“I can’t believe they did this.” Peter groaned. “Forcing us to kiss because they think we like each other? Who comes up with that?”

“I know right?” You agreed. “How we feel about each other is none of their business.”

“Exactly. And what do they know? If I liked you, I think I would know.” Peter forced a laugh, well aware that he liked you.

“Yeah. We would know.” You nodded before looking at him skeptically. “We would know, right?”

“I don’t know.” Peter answered honestly. “It’s kinda hard to tell how I feel about you. I never know if something that happens between us is platonic or romantic.”

“Me either.” You spoke softly as you put your hand on his. “Kissing isn’t really platonic, though.”

“I guess not.” Peter chuckled as he looked at you. You stared at him for a moment, heart beating in your ears as you thought out your next step.

“Peter, do you like me?” You asked slowly, looking at him through your eyelashes.

“Um, kinda, yeah.”

“Kinda?” You laughed softly at his answer.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed and squeezed your hand. “I don’t know what to say in this situation.”

“Just tell me how you feel.” You shrugged.

“I feel like I’ve been lingering around places where the mistletoe in hopes that you’ll walk by and kiss me.” Peter confessed, looking at you with a shy smile.

“Well that’s not platonic.” You teased him, leaning into him a little.

“No, it’s not.” Peter agreed. Your eyes flicked to his lips briefly before leaning in to kiss him, pulling his face closer to yours with the hand that wasn’t holding his. He kissed you back once he got over the surprise, sitting up straighter to get closer to you.

“You don’t need mistletoe to kiss me, Petey.” You whispered once you pulled away. “You can do it whenever you want.”

“I’m gonna take you up on that.” Peter smiled softly at you.

“I hope you do.” You flirted before connecting your lips to his again. On the other side of the door, Thor had his ear pressed up against the crack, listening to every word with a huge grin.

“I am so going to win this contest.”

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