#and we should encourage people to celebrate the ways they can contribute to fandom without creating/organising!

[glitterarygetsit]

peer-reviewed relevant tags by @multishipperpirateking!

[messrsrarchives]

i was talking to a friend about this today and i, of course, am going to yap about it. because i've been incredibly vocal and it's pointed out a lot how annoying it is but,,,

discussions of jkr in the marauders fandom are ongoing, and they need to be. this is not a topic we visit once, it's a topic we need to continue discussing because it's constantly evolving.

when jkr first became public with her views, it was "boycott the studios, boycott the merch, don't interact", which was appropriate for the time of "this franchise is done, do not engage with what is already there"

when things like cursed child and hogwarts legacy come out, it's a different conversation. because we're not just discussing things with her name plastered on the front of, we're talking about her IP as a whole. as the franchise develops into other areas, we need to discuss how to navigate that. we have discussions about the contributions of others, on "supporting the theatre cast/developers, not her" and how that's still harmful. it's a different discussion.

and today, it's more important than ever. not just because trans rights are under violent attack, but because fandom is more mainstream. more people join who may not be aware and they need to be educated, and this increased traction contributes to complacency.

we need to discuss how blowing up random tiktokers comment section with "this is so james potter!!!" is harmful even when it seems like a bit of fun, because it normalises engagement with this media, and encourages people to join without education. how blowing up fancasts comment sections is harmful because then people get excited over the possibility of them joining the reboot, or even just the fact that a high-profile celebrity is now connected with this fandom, and if they don't speak up on it, engagement with jkr must be okay, right? whether you're speaking on it, commenting on it, or a reposting a tiktok, it's engagement.

because like it or not, being in this fandom and producing content for this fandom is a form of promotion, so what can we do to make sure that we are promoting the right things? that we are doing it ethically? that we are keeping people educated?

the changing face of the franchise, the changing face of trans rights, and the changing face of fandom spaces is why these discussions keep coming up. because newer fans need to be educated, and older fans need to stay updated as things change.

but the one constant, the one constant thing that i really want to emphasise here is that it has never been about shaming. or cancelling. or "ganging up" against people.

it's about human rights. it's about lives > content.

these discussions aren't had so that we can call people out - although, if you feel called out by such discussions, maybe that's a sign you need to do better - it's about education. a guiding hand. awareness.

we educate and we have these discussions because one person doesn't make a difference. one person not watching the reboot makes no difference, and realistically? a complete, total boycott of JKR will make no difference - trans people will be under attack either way.

but you don't need to change the world to change your corner of it. and you don't need to have global influence to have an influence - you may not make an individual difference to her income and influence by profiting her, but you make a difference to the people around you, the people in this space, when you openly do so. you don't need to change the world to show solidarity.

and that's why these discussions take place. and that's why they keep taking place.

because in the wider world? everything is shit. everything is fucking awful. trans people are fighting day by day to not off themselves, or be offed.

so, listen, because the way you shape your corner matters, and we should not have to fight to prove that us living authentically, and enjoying our time in this space, is more important than a remake.

so yes, these discussions might be annoying. you can reach out and complain in my dms as much as you want, you can leave comments on people's videos asking if it's that deep, and you can say you just want to enjoy your time without getting lectured.

you can say that it's annoying.

and it won't be a fraction of the annoyance trans people feel both in and out of this space.

it's annoying for me too, even more so. but these discussions have to take place. whether you listen or not is up to you.

[manweweek]

FAQ

What kind of event is Manwë Week?

Manwë Week is a week-long fandom event dedicated to Manwë Súlimo from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Silmarillion. Time to make our way to Taniquetil and celebrate the King of the Valar!

When is Manwë Week?

Súlimë (March) 11th - 17th 2024.

How do I participate?

No sign-ups are required for this event. 

You can create all sorts of fanworks, be it art (digital or traditional), fanfiction, moodboards, headcanons, playlists – whatever you like! Be sure to tag this blog (@manweweek) when you post and put “manwe week” or “manweweek” in the first 20 tags. 

Do I have to participate every day?

No. You can create as many fanworks for as many days as you like. Interacting with and sharing the fanworks of others is also highly encouraged and appreciated!

Are there prompts and do I have to use them?

Yes, there is a prompt list, but you are not required to follow these prompts. They are mostly there for inspiration. 

Can I feature other characters as well? 

Yes, you are welcome to feature other characters (OCs included) alongside Manwë in your fanworks and explore all sorts of dynamics and relationships, but always keep in mind that this is Manwë Week so he should be one of the primarily featured characters.

Can I post NSFW, dark themes, dead dove, etc.?

Yes, but please always tag your posts accordingly and put works featuring these themes under a cut so those who don’t wish to interact can opt out.

If you are concerned about Tumblr flagging and/or deleting your work, we recommend hosting the fanwork on another site (for example AO3) and making a post linking to it. 

Can I post in-progress works? What about late submissions?

Yes, you can post WIPs/unfinished works too. If you finish your work after Manwë Week has concluded and would like to post it then, you can also do that – we will be sharing late submissions too. 

Why has my contribution not been reblogged?

If you feel like your contribution may have been missed, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Depending on how many submissions we receive, it may take a while for everything to be shared, but it’s always possible that we haven’t seen it yet. 

General code of conduct:

Please be kind and respectful and leave any drama or feuds at the door. 

Don’t like, don’t read/view/interact. 

Respect different takes and interpretations of characters. No ship hate. 

No reposting of other people’s works without their explicit permission.

Any sort of bigoted behaviour or promoting of bigoted ideas (sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.) is not welcome.

Violation of these rules will result in you getting blocked.

I have further questions!

Feel free to send an ask or DM!

[zexalweek]

Hello again, friends! My laptop isn't cooperating with me, so I won't be able to make a cut or add a photo since I'm making this post on mobile! I'll try and come back and make a more user friendly post once my laptop decides to work with me! (Cuz its nearly an hour past 5pm CST, when I said I'd post, I'm so sorry! I had to retype this all out on my phone TwT)

So without further ado, here are Zexal Week 2022's prompts!

Sunday, May 29th: Sports Day - Children's Card Games are the claim to fame for YGO, but in Zexal, we do sometimes see the characters in their gym class! From the springboard jumping over stacks, to the school's indoor pool, what other sports can you see characters doing? You can keep it simple and in-universe, or you can go as far as a full revamp of Zexal and make it a sports anime!

Monday, May 30th: Prank Wars - What characters are the most capable of shattering the peace, setting off a full on prank war? Who's participating? Who are unwitting victims, or amused, untouched bystanders? Does it stay simple? Do things get complex? Does someone take it too far?

Tuesday, May 31st: Mer/Maid - Its the last day of May! During May, 2 different common events in fandom take place: MerMay, and Maid Day (Held on May 10th in Japan)! As a send off to the month, use today to promote any Zexal content you made this month for those events, or make/share something new!

Wednesday, June 1st: Roadtrip - Its the start of the summer months, so we're celebrating with a roadtrip! Who's going? Where are they going? How long is it going to take? Are they making pitstops/small trips to see the sights along the way? Was it a spur of the moment trip? Was it meticulously planned to the most minuscule of details?

Thursday, June 2nd: Retro - YGO Zexal is set in a futuristic setting, but what if it was set in a more recent past? Zexal but 90's, 80's, 70's, hell even Roaring 20's? Whether or not you incorporate the card game or not is entirely your call!

Friday, June 3rd: Call to Attention - With nearly 150 episodes, Zexal definitely had a fair amount of time to introduce and explore different characters and concepts, as well give the fandom enough fuel for fan-theories galore! What is/are some aspects of the show you wish had been given more attention? Do you think a character should have been more fleshed out? Was there a specific direction you thought a plotline was going, only for it to go somewhere completely different? Was there one that just seemed to be dropped? Tell us your thoughts!

Saturday, June 4th: Free Day! - Just as it says: Do as you will, anything is fair game!

Extra Prompts:

A character(s) you relate to the most

Museum of Wonders

Coffee shop date

The Measure of a Life

Defying Gravity

We're Getting the Band Back Together!

"This is a retroactive nightmare."

"Here's to a night we'll never remember, with the people we'll never forget!"

"Lie after lie after lie, we all stopped counting the crimes. You know why we can't trust you, don't you?"

"Do you want to be the layer of the bricks that seal your fate, or would you rather be the architect of what we might create?"

"All I wanted was you."

"I'm minor in a major kind of way."

-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-☆-

Now, as usual, the prompts are not mandatory! They're meant more as a framework for those who prefer a guideline or structure! If there's something you'd prefer to do that is not mentioned here, then by all means, go for it! We're celebrating Zexal, and doing so in whichever way you feel is best is totally fine!

Not only that, but by no means is participation in Zexal Week limited to producing content! Likes and reblogs, even leaving comments on others' posts all count as contributing to Zexal Week! Even if you don't consider yourself a creator, your actions and support help make things possible!

In addition, while I am aware that fanfic and fanart are the most common forms of fan content, I encourage all types of content, AMVs/fancams, poetry, screencap edits, even simple posts or videos of you just talking about Zexal! OCs and Self-Insert characters are also totally acceptable!

That being said, if you plan on contributing content, I kindly ask the content you share be your own, and that you're not reposting someone's work, or at the very least, not doing so without their permission and/or passing it off as your own. "Credit to the Creator" does not fly here. Having commissioned someone to make content for you is fine, so long as you state/acknowledge it was commissioned, share who commissioned it, and confirmed with the creator that it is ok to share like that!

Additionally, I will accept mature works, so long as there are clear content warnings and proper tags.

Finally! I kindly ask that you use the tags "#Zexal Week" and/or "#Zexal Week 2022", cuz those are the tags I check to see people's content! In the past years, some people's posts fail to show up in the main tags, so feel free to tag this blog in your posts if you're concerned I might not see them!

Thank you for your patience, and again, I'll try and clean this post up when my laptop stops being rude to me! I'll see you all soon!

-- Krys 💙

[lila-rae]

Understood. May I be literal? Do you feel that you've violated Tom's privacy in the way he described, and causing him to feel so poorly about his privacy and ability to be normal? Do you feel like you've personally contributed, by sharing personal information and encouraging stalkery photos (going viral encourages more pics by clout chasers and normalises stalking) and sharing the kissing pics yes or no. Because I feel awful right now and imma take personal responsibility and change my behaviourand relatively to the ship and Tom fandom. 💔

Me personally? No. First off I have a very small reach (there are 430 people who follow me. Thanks btw) but I’ve also never encouraged anyone to take pictures of them without their permission and I don’t share their location when I know it or places I know they frequent. I think even without the fandom the July 2nd pics would have been a hot commodity for any paparazzi. Come on two of Hollywood’s hottest and brightest young stars possibly dating is always going to have media appeal and they’ll pay to get the pictures. I personally hate the paparazzi, they honestly suck and have a tendency to make my job harder, and I think they should be heavily regulated but that’s another rant for another post.

I think all the individual “this is my fault” happening is a little weird. Especially since a man was paid to take those photos and he willingly put everyone in danger to do that. He and whoever tipped him off bears literally most of that responsibility. If you want to get broader we can blame society and celebrity culture as a whole but that’s still in only going to get 1% of the blame in my book.

[lowkeyorloki]

Many of you who have followed me for the majority of this year will have seen me beg the Loki fandom to take a look at both their implicit and explicit biases. I have done this because every time my friends and I log onto a site that we go to for fun and recreation, we see things that are horribly harmful to our various identities. This screenshot is an example of that harmful, and disgustingly normalized, content.

I am going to address this racist interaction bit by bit, and I hope the original creators and anyone reading this can learn - and better yet, understand the hurt they cause and the stereotypes and violence they contribute to, because interactions like this are not rare in the Loki fandom. The reasons I have chosen to speak on this specific one is because 1) the prejudice is so blatant, and 2) one of these creators is very popular in the fandom, and I worry about the reach that the casualness of this encounter has.

The first issue is with the ask itself. The anonymous says “its a country like ‘Afghanistan’ or something and totally accepted it without reading it twice”

The implication here is that it would be strange to have a url that is or references Afghanistan. This shows us the skewed view this anon has of the country - because to them, why on Earth would someone have that? This is problematic. I have a hard time believing there would have been a similar reaction to a url that referenced a country like England or France.

There is also the response, which confirms that is a funny occurrence, and in turn reinforcing the othering of Afghanistan in this post chain. To the asker and the responder, it is humorous and even outlandish to think that someone’s url would reference this country.

But the worst of all is the comment made by nikkoliferous, which asks, “can we all apply for refugee status?”

I do not quite know how to express just how disturbing it is to make jokes about refugee situations, and how blinded you must be as someone living in America or Canada to even joke about that being something that you are, or something that applies to you.

…

Tumblr, and the Loki fandom, are supposed to be something that allows us to all come together and celebrate our love for our favorite character. Every single person should feel safe, and they are all entitled to an experience that does not alienate and other them. It is devastating to be sent screenshot by my friends on the daily of people hurting them encouraging stereotypes, spreading misinformation, and contributing (even in ways that, to a white and western audience, seem as “small” as this) to the violence and trauma of POC. I cannot even imagine how damaging and brutal it is to consistently see posts like this that attack and rip apart one’s identity - and what’s more, to never be taken seriously when trying to address and educate people. A fandom should not thrive, and especially not thrive proudly and humorously, at the expense of those who are marginalized.

The Loki fandom must wake up. This type of content in being normalized.

That is very, very, wrong.

[petermj-week]

Introducing the Spideychelle Recathon!

I really appreciated all of the hard work and dedication the Spideychelle fandom showed during this year’s Spideychelle Week and I really wanted to find a way to celebrate all of those fantastic creators in this fandom, including those who didn’t participate in the week but contribute to the fandom outside of it. A lot of fan events that are hosted on Tumblr focus on content creation and I wanted to create an event focused on content appreciation.

Then it hit me—a recathon, taking from the words recommendation and marathon; an event that encourages people to rec many fanworks over the course of the event. I’m surely not the first to come up with the idea, but I haven’t seen it in the Spideychelle fandom yet. I hope this event will be a success like Spideychelle Week has proven to be in the past and it becomes a staple for the fandom.

The event will take place in October across all thirty-one days. You do not have to participate for every day, however, and you can pick and choose based on the daily themes that have fanworks that you are passionate about and wish to reccomend to others. I’d like on the chosen day for particpants to create a rec list (it does not have to be a list if you only have one fanwork to rec) and tag this blog (@spideychelleweek) so that I can reblog the rec list. It’s also encouraged that you tag the creators’ you’re reccing and let them know you love their work! If the original creator has already posted the fanwork on Tumblr then you can also choose to reblog their original post and tag this blog, letting me know you’re reccing it.

I hope most of the prompts are self-explanatory, but if not then below the cut I’ll try to simply explain each one. If you have any questions about the prompts or the event then please send in an ask and I’ll answer as promptly as I can.

Day 01 | Classics: Older and beloved fanworks; the type that every fan should read/watch/see and is introduced to every new Spideychelle fan someway or another. These fanworks should have been posted before the release of Spider-Man: Far From Home.

Day 02 | Crossover/Fusion: Crossover is when two fandoms combine, such as a fanwork where Peter Parker meets Robert Patterson’s Batman, while fusion is where the fandoms are merged by implanting the characters of one setting into another, such as the ever popular Hogwarts AU.

Day 03 | Kiss: Fanworks involving kissing, such as a one shot about their first kiss or a fanart of a passionate kiss. Kissing doesn’t have to be the main focus of the work. For instance, if you think a 100k word fanfic has the best kiss scenes then rec it away even if it has 95k words where no kissing is involved.

Day 04 | MJ Backstory: In the MCU’s canon we don’t know a lot about MJ’s family or her life, but the fandom has explored and delved deep into MJ’s character so this slot is for fanworks that explore MJ’s backstory whether it be a down-to-earth depiction of her family or exciting backstory where MJ is a spy.

Day 05 | Fluff: A fanwork that is pleasant and makes you feel good, such as fanworks depicting cuddling or other affectionate actions though fluff isn’t limited to that.

Day 06 | Identity Reveal: Fanworks that explore Peter Parker’s secret identity and it being revealed to MJ (who may already know) or other characters.

Day 07 | Post-FFH: Fanworks that take place after Spider-Man: Far From Home and explore what happens after Mysterio revealed Peter Parker’s identity to the world.

Day 08 | Vids: All kinds of fanworks can be posted for each day, but I imagine most will end up being fics so this day is devoted solely to vids which are video edits often set to music using clips from the films.

Day 09 | Fix-It: For fanworks that “correct” canon events that are not liked by the fan(dom), such as fanworks where the Snap/Blip never happened, Tony never died, or whatever else that fandom seeks to correct through fanworks.

Day 10 | Favorite Creator(s): Spread the spotlight to specific creators whose fanworks you love.

Day 11 | Domestic: Fanworks involving the characters living everyday lives. Often involves marriage or children, but domestic fanworks don’t have to include that nor does domestic mean that Peter can’t have powers, since being Spider-Man is a normal part of his everyday life.

Day 12 | Angst: Fanworks that hit you in the feels by making you feel negative emotions, particularly saddness or fear.

Day 13 | No Spider-Man: Fanworks that depict Peter Parker as a normal human being without superpowers. Other characters can have superpowers, but Peter Parker cannot.

Day 14 | LGBT+: Fanworks that depict LGBT+ themes and/or characters such as Trans!Peter Parker or Bisexual!MJ. Those are just examples, so feel free to rec works that don’t fit those specific parameters as long as they are LGBT+ focused.

Day 15 | Underappreciated: Fanworks that are underappreciated, such as not having that much engagement from the fandom. I’ll let you determine what counts as underappreciated, but please don’t rec fanworks that have 1000 kudos and 50 comments. This day is about praising fanworks that get barely any praise.

Day 16 | Alternative Universe: Fanworks that alter elements of canon, such as College AUs, Coffee Shop AUs, Vampire AUs, Omegaverse AUs, Historical AUs, Soulmate AUs, and so, so, so many more.

Day 17 | Spider-Man 3: Fanworks that make you go, “this could be in the MCU’s Spider-Man 3,” whether it be fanart depicting an epic fight scene, a long fic plotting out a huge overarching narrative, a vid with a tight story, or whatever else you can think of. 

Day 18 | One Shots: Fanworks, typically fanfiction but it can include other mediums such as comics, that are standalone stories contained within a single chapter.

Day 19 | Hurt/Comfort: Fanworks involving a character(s) being hurt either emotionally or physically and then being comforted by another character(s). 

Day 20 | Self-Rec: Recommend a fanwork or fanworks that you created! Don’t be afraid to be proud of your work and I want everyone to shamelessly rec their fanworks that they’re proud of on this day.

Day 21 | Comic Elements: Fanworks that include elements from the Spider-Man comics that have yet to appear in the MCU, such as the Venom Symbiote or a reimagining of a classic scene/panel/storyline using the MCU’s version of the characters.

Day 22 | Art: A day to recommend your favorite pieces of fanart. This doesn’t just include drawn/painted art, but it can also include cosplay, sculptures, paper craft, and any other medium.

Day 23 | Missing Scene: Any fanwork that fills in a “gap” in the films and could reasonably be seen as canon compliant.

Day 24 | Five Things: A story structure that includes multiple scenes that are related to each other using a common theme. An example is “Five Time Peter & MJ Almost Kissed & The One Time They Did.” The story structure does not need to have exactly five and can have any number as long as it follows the typical structure.

Day 25 | Humor: Fanworks that are humorous and make you laugh.

Day 26 | Smut: Fanworks that depict sexual material of either a Mature or Explicit rating. 

Day 27 | Drabble: Fanfics that are exactly one hundred words long, but for this day I’ll accept less words or slightly more. And I also would like to see other mediums for this category such as vids that are less than thirty seconds. Generally, just fanworks that are fairly short in length.

Day 28 | Mental Health: Fanworks that depict mental illness, mental disorders, or neurodivergent headcanons. Examples include, but are not limited to, ADHD, Autism, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, etc.

Day 29 | Meta: Essays or analysis discussing the characters and/or relationship in the context of its portrayal in canon or fandom. 

Day 30 | New Fanwork: Fanworks that have only been recently posted. I won’t give an exact hard timeline for you to follow, but as a guideline I’d say it counts as new if it was posted in the past two months.

Day 31 | Free Day: Reccomend fanworks based on any theme (or no theme) that you want.

[alloaroworlds]

Saw something about alloace people stealing the idea of an alloa flag from alloaros, but don’t most pride flags with counterparts start with one? Is it bad to use the alloace flag?

Thank you, anon, for asking this respectfully.

(There’s too many non-respectful, insulting, allo-aro-antagonistic and even cissexist asks in my inbox on the subject of flags.)

I agree with you: it's common in LGBTQIA+ spaces for pride flags to use other pride flags as a reference point, particularly when it comes to related terms and shared symbols or colours.

I, personally, take no issue with the concept of allo-aces using a flag that was inspired in its colour symbolism by the allo-aro flag. As much as I dislike the ways Tumblr pairs allo-aros and allo-aces in content (flag edit posts, positivity) as though "allo" is equivalent to "demi" or “flux” or “grey”, I see the symbolism in taking the allo-aro flag and transforming it in asexual-flag styling to suit allo-ace needs. (It makes sense given that our yellow/golds were chosen by @arotaro because they’re opposite on the colour wheel from purple and aro green was historically chosen because it is opposite from red.) I don't view it as "stolen" any more than I would another flag inspired by another flag.

Pride flag culture is, like fandom and fanworks, transformative.

What I take issue with is individual allo-aces or groups of allo-aces using a flag that was inspired by the allo-aro flag while engaging in, perpetrating, condoning and/or ignoring allo-aro antagonism and erasure.

The allo-ace flag doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's not disconnected from the ways allo-aces treat allo-aros--and the ways allo-aros have come to feel about allo-aces. It’s not disconnected from the ways the allo-ace and allo-aro flags appear together in solidarity/positivity posts that are entirely at odds with the ways allo-aces frequently treat allo-aros. It's not just four stripes on a flag that happen to be inspired by ours because of related a-spec symbolism.

I, personally, don't see not using the allo-ace flag as a viable solution. How is that going to change things? (Very likely, folks will switch to another flag and keep on with the same old erasure.) Allo-ace identity is important, and if allo-aces like and relate to the symbolism of the red/purple flag, they should be able to keep using it. (I definitely don’t want to police allo-ace identity and pride the way folks are trying to do with me, which is also a subject of anon asks.) When allo-aros discuss our frustrations with the context of the allo-ace flag, we're not doing it because we object to another a-spec identity's expression of pride.

We're trying to express how unfair it feels that allo-aces are using a symbol inspired by ours while creating and/or overlooking their involvement in an a-spec culture that treats and dismisses allo-aros as third-class a-spec citizens.

The relationship between allo-aros and allo-aces is a much broader subject than the origins and use of one flag. At the same time that flag is, because of the circumstances of its making, eminently symbolic of said relationship.

That doesn’t always come across in frustration-fuelled posts (often made to allo-aros by allo-aros in our tags/spaces, where everyone’s aware of the context and further elaboration isn’t needed, or as short vent posts). It looks like we’re just complaining about one flag being inspired by ours, which can easily be misunderstood as petty, hateful or policing at odds with transformative pride flag culture. But our feelings run far deeper than that, and that’s a hard thing to see if you’re outside the allo-aro community.

I can only speak my opinion, but I want allo-aces to use the current flag (if that’s what you decide you want to use, because you have the right to celebrate allo-ace identity with community-decided symbolism, language and pride colours).

I want allo-aces to use and take pride in the allo-ace flag with an accompanying spirit of valuing, supporting and encouraging allo-aro contributions to our shared a-spec community.

I want allo-aces to use and take pride in the allo-ace flag while acknowledging the accompanying fundamental necessity to recognise, challenge and halt the allo-aro erasure and antagonism common in the asexual and a-spec communities.

I want allo-aces to use and take pride in the allo-ace flag while recognising that such use must carry the obligation to respect allo-aros.

Until that point, though, I think the allo-aro community is fair to look at some uses of the allo-ace flag in frustration and pain (especially those solidarity posts that gloss over the reality of the allo-aro-and-allo-ace relationship). The flag is not stolen, and I don’t think it should be referred to as such, but its careless use by allo-aces without accompanying recognition of the way many so often harm allo-aros is contentious.

Does all this make sense, anon?

Note 1: I’m not the creator of the allo-aro flag that inspired the allo-ace flag, and I think @arotaro‘s feelings in this situation, in terms of ongoing use of flags, should carry far more weight than mine.

Note 2: The flag we’re discussing is by @varioriented-pride, who does a lot to reblog allo-aro visual/flag-edit content on an account devoted to a wide variety of varioriented folks, a category that includes allo-aros and allo-aces alike. (I regularly reblog their* posts over here, in fact.) I haven’t seen them engage in allo-aro erasure or antagonism; they stand as an example for the kind of allyhood and support I am asking.

(* Apologies if I have misgendered: I can’t find any mention of pronouns!)

Note 3: There is a second allo-ace flag by @flagify that isn't directly inspired by the allo-aro flag. I am in no way making a statement as to whether allo-aces should or shouldn't use it; I'm simply observing its existence.

[kingofthewilderwest]

How do u feel about Mabel

I have an unending sense of adoration for what Mabel contributes to Gravity Falls. Technically, Mabel isn’t a favorite of mine – I don’t think of her or relate to her as much as others like Stan, Ford, Dipper, or Fiddleford. However, my appreciation for her is endless.

Gravity Falls couldn’t exist without Mabel. The story’s heart would be crippled. Mabel’s energy and charm provides a unique personality to the show through her unique personality. The show wouldn’t have the same vibe without her ridiculousness! Plus, GF is a story of familial love. And Mabel, as half of the younger Pines twins duo, is essential to giving us the feels of what it means to be in a loving but emotionally complicated family. They couldn’t have picked a better personality to interact with Dipper and Stan for the narrative’s central trio. The combination of Mabel’s vivacity, Stan’s gruffness, and Dipper’s paranoia… is what sells us on this cast. (With Bill, Soos, Wendy, Ford, Pacifica, Gideon, etc. making great additions.)

That’s already enough to celebrate Mabel, but I can’t say this enough: Mabel is the fulfillment of my greatest wish for women characters:

Let women be weird.

The Limited Scope of Female Personalities in Media

All genders get roped into stereotypical personalities in media, but I feel like women especially get reduced. I struggle relating to and loving fictional women… because they feel like the same restrictive subset of personalities I’ve seen reiterated again and again and again and again and again. 

There’s the rude, prissy, popular rich girl. 

There’s that easygoing cool tomboy. 

There’s the hot, edgy, serious, sexy, COOL, highly skilled badass action woman who is the most hardcore of the main cast, hides a sense of internal empathy and compassion, but warms up from her coldness when she meets the main character lead… and then probably goes and kisses him once he, despite being a rookie, magically manages to best her years of hard training.

*ka-sigh*

Even when a fictional woman doesn’t hit something that cringeworthily stereotypical, she still feels… bland. Fictional characters can be enjoyable exaggerations of personality traits – we have the opportunity to create as weird, ridiculous, or diverse of individuals as we possibly can. And yet usually women aren’t written to be as wild or diverse in their personalities as men. The ladies will probably look standardly pretty, act standardly reasonable, act standardly feminine, and make standard choices. Women characters in a cast often feel the least distinct to me. I’m probably not going to find quirks in my ladies or something that sets them apart from the crowd. Let’s be real: media depicts women according to societal expectation. Women in media are reduced to a washed-out, generic fantasy that doesn’t relate anything to how women feel, nor does it try hard to relate to what women feel.

The writing doesn’t understand women. And I can feel it.

When a bland, stale action woman goes on screen in her hot sexy tight pants, is her presentation supposed to be female empowerment (she’s fighting [gasp!])? Or is it another quick, uninspired shortcut without thinking through what her humanity is? “She fights, she’s a ‘good’ female role model, that’s good enough.” Still caters to the male gaze, still caters to male fantasy for what an attractive woman is like, still doesn’t think through her psychology, still presents media’s “desire” for what women “should” be like.

We drastically need to improve how women are written.

You know what my women friends are like? Women are loud and unashamed belchers. Women crack terrible puns about the French Revolution while everyone boos. Women dress up their stuffed animal cats in goggles and a lab coat. Women geek out over how cute worms are. Women want to kill the opposing team in sports competitions. Women eat food off the floor. Women spend sleepovers watching chick flicks and musicals. Women shriek screamo songs at the top of their lungs, getting maybe a third of the lyrics right, racing through the night in their car twenty miles over the speed limit. Women spend thirty five minutes trying to get the perfect selfie because their hair finally fucking cooperated. Women repeatedly text their friends photos of them flipping the bird making derp faces. Women play beer pong until they’re drunk. Women do unnecessarily complicated mathematics calculations to prove their point in fandom. Women stay up all night screaming murder at first person shooter video games. Women play shitty pop song covers on their tubas. Women spend an hour and a half dyeing their hair pink in the sink (and dye the entire bathroom pink in the process). Women debate the finer points of Immanuel Kant with one another. Women demand their friends dish the details when they hear someone has a new significant other. Women binge watch anime eating frozen dinners heated from the microwave while sobbing out their mascara. Women get crushes on Simba or Kovu from The Lion King. Women work out at gyms because they want to get RIPPED. Women. Are. Diverse. And. Delightfully. QUIRKY.

I know I ranted a long time about it, but the point is to show the difference between what women are (personable and peculiar)… versus the stale bread, watered-down crap we get in the movies.

So this. This is why I will never quit raving about Mabel.

Mabel finally lets us see an ACTUAL GIRL as ACTUAL GIRLS act: she’s delightfully, realistically, over-exaggeratedly, charmingly, unforgettably WEIRD.

Instead of trying to write a “girl” first and getting tied up in the tropes and gender biases, Gravity Falls writes a character who happens to be a girl with some girl traits.

What Makes Mabel Different

Instead of writing some standard bland stereotyping “oh this feels vaguely feminine and attractive” excuse-for-a-cardboard-cutout-of-a-woman… Mabel is given real love, real personality, real demonstration of what women are. After all these years of me suffering in theatres thinking, “Oh look, it’s the same uninspired sexy badass action woman stereotype,” I can finally find a character who’s not what media pretends women should be like. I see a character who the writers actually thought about her personality for!

Gravity Falls allows a woman character to do things I almost never see of women characters.

For starters: Mabel’s gross. She finds leftover tacos in the backseat of the car and decides it’s a perfect snack. She sticks her head into a dusty barrel and laughs when caterpillars crawl over her face. She makes fart sounds and laughs at those fart sounds. She lets a statue pick her nose. She shoves food into her mouth voraciously. She’s animated with wild, ridiculous, non-flattering facial expressions. Gravity Falls allows Mabel to be gross.

This is already amazing to me. Cartoons are a little better than live action movies, where the latter can’t let a woman look imperfect when she’s crying or fighting villains. But cartoons often have limitations for how women are shown, too. It’s refreshing to see a girl who is gross.

And I don’t know about you, but I’d be hard-pressed to name even three other contemporary Western women characters who’re allowed to be girly AND gross. Mabel Pines. Princess Fiona. The list ends there for me? Sometimes I’ll see girls in media dressed with “unruly” appearances – their hair is SLIGHTLY frazzled and they wear glasses (gasp) – but that’s not real grossness, and it’s especially not grossness combined with girliness.

Gravity Falls isn’t afraid to make Mabel both gross and “girly”, and that’s special.

Next, Mabel’s girliness feels authentic. By “girliness” I mean Mabel taking actions according to Western societal gender norms for ciswomen. I don’t mean that’s how girls have to innately be. I hate the idea that people “should” behave according to gender roles and encourage us all to express our individuality. Anyway. Yes, most women in media have girliness to them… but nothing prepared me to seeing a twelve year old girl act like the twelve year old girls I knew.

Mabel loves bright colors, rainbows, unicorns, cute boys, formal dances, boy bands, and looking cute. These are girly traits and girly interests. But the way they show Mabel, Candy, and Grenda bonding over boy talk at a sleepover? That ridiculous, unrestrained screaming, combined with the mischievous grins, is exactly the sort of stuff I grew up with. It’s not just “oh we wrote a girl who likes pink and makeup who gets catty about crushes” – it’s “oh, we wrote a girl who enjoys her girly side like a twelve year old would!”

Gravity Falls allows Mabel to live according to some elements of the gender norm. The show doesn’t tote the idea that people live without gender influence, that people live in a vacuum of culture. It shows people in society often live by some pattern of gender roles. But, the show doesn’t make Mabel be that norm or preach she should be that norm. Honestly, I don’t see many shows try to strike this balance: willing to give characters gender role interests, while still respecting that everyone is unique and doesn’t need to live by those roles. Either the shows completely drop gender roles (which can be refreshing and help us overcome our biases) or they stick too close to assumptions that your gender = your brain, which is backwards thinking.

GF doesn’t lazily pin a character with girly traits because “that’s what women are.” It doesn’t stop at some assumptive “She wears pretty boots.” It understands Mabel’s psychology, lets her express that girliness unrestrained, provides her screen time to live this (!!! screen time to girl time in an all-gender-demographic-show!!!), and allows her to intersect that girliness with her grossness and her weirdness.

Next, Mabel is allowed to be confident and bold. Society isn’t good with women being bold and outspoken yet. Women often get criticized for being bossy, bitchy, obnoxious, etc. when they speak their minds and act with the confidence that men are “allowed” to have in their daily lives. And yet Mabel can be an outspoken and unrestrained character.

It works well for her age, too! 

Last, Mabel is weird. Mabel has quirks. I’ve said this three hundred times and I’ll say it three hundred more, but Mabel being weird is a delight. It’s not often that women are allowed to be the ridiculous comedic side in children’s / family animation. (Yay Ruffnut for also fulfilling this role.) 

Mabel is unrestricted, allowed to be a wild dork on screen. She’ll eat tubes of toothpaste because they’re sparkly, make “Mabel juice” with plastic dinosaurs in the pitchers, dress pigs in costume, knit scratch-and-sniff sweaters, slap stickers on her uncle’s nose, scream for a minute straight before coughing up glitter, dream up the centaurtaur, and more. 

But it’s not just that. It’s her mindset. Mabel’s excitement for things – down to an eight legged cow having “more limbs for hugging” – is a perspective I essentially never see in stories. She’s got a way of looking at the world like no one else I know. It’s a wild, bizarre perspective… but that’s what makes her so good and human. 

Mabel has a “What the heck?” vibe from her, whether it’s her interests, her thought processes, or her choices.

And frankly, that’s so much more relatable, personable, and beautiful to me… than almost any other woman I see on screen in media. When I see Mabel, I can remember what I was like as a kid.

Although I’m non-binary, I didn’t grow up knowing about non-cis gender. I grew up more or less thinking of myself as a little girl. Many of my childhood experiences were with little girls. So, when I look at old photographs of myself, I see someone with unrestrained energy, joy, and weirdness - just like Mabel.

That is what kids are like, guys! That is what kids are like!

Not this weird restricted stereotype on television I see! But THIS.

So yeah. 

Even just from the topic “What does Mabel bring to women’s representation in media,” Mabel is a shooting star. She’s a success. I love it. It’s freeing, exciting, and refreshing to me, being able to see a woman character given this loving treatment. I’m passionate about women being represented well in media, and not in the sense of falsely-portrayed empowerment. Mabel is the glorious three-dimensional, unique, bizarre, memorable type of girl I want!

She’s worth celebrating for all her personality traits, too: her creativity, her energy, her lightheartedness, her love for her family. But that’s content for another essay.

In short: bless Mabel Pines. Bless, bless, bless Mabel Pines.

This is a damn great character.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

hey ralph! i was wondering if we could talk about charities. i totally agree with you that there's a lot of charities that revolve around helping individuals (or blaming them, in your words) while ignoring the structural problems that put them in that situation in the first place. so my honest question is: how is in your opinion the best way for a charity organization to approach those issues with social responsability? since they don't really have the power to actually fix everything. +++

(2) and do you have any examples of charities that have this philosophy vs charities that are harmful? also, what do you think we as individuals can do to help fixing some of this issues? both us middle class people or millionaires like the boys. because while i do agree with the things you said on the subject, i always thought that even if i unfortunately cant solve anything by donating at least i might make someone's life a little bit better or easier; i believe that's what the boys +++

(3) and especially harry view charities. (the obvious difference is they have way more power in that matter than i could ever have). sorry if this is long or doesn't make a lot of sense, i just think about it a lot because i know celebrities and rich people in general should be doing so much more, but i'm not really sure how, and i really like reading your opinions. also english is not my first language so forgive me if i may have used some inadequate words or expressions +++

(4) - i know you're very particular about that. thank you for always questioning everything; while i may disagree with a lot of things it's so important to have a voice like yours in this fandom and i hope you know that there are people who value that, even though your inbox doesn't always show it. have a great day

************

Thanks for these asks anon - they’re really interesting.  And thank you for your love.  I don’t take ridiculous asks as indicative of much and I do take interesting one’s as a sign people are engaged with my blog.

I think I start from a slightly different premise from you.  In general, I don’t think rich people should be doing more.  Rich people tend to be rich because of the harm they are doing to the world and one of the functions of charitable work is to obscure this reality (this is why google camp has me talking about the guillotine).  

In Harry’s case (and other 1D members and big touring musicians in general), a huge part of their wealth comes from the production of merch in wildly exploitative and damaging ways.  The supply chain involved in producing merch involves huge environmental damage, horrific working conditions (including substantial levels of violence and sexual violence), poverty wages and direct attacks on union organising when people try and improve their wages and conditions. There’s no way Harry (or anyone else in his position) could undo the damage done in the production that makes him wealthy, by giving a fraction of that wealth away. 

(I know there are people who will immediately widen out this specific point. My worldview is that the people who are responsible for the harm done by production are those who control it (even indirectly through subcontracting) and who collect the profit.  Consumers, and other workers in the production process, do not control production or benefit from it and pretending that individuals who buy things are responsible for the damage caused in their production is an ideological project to hide who actually has power and wealth). 

There’s another distinction I’d like to make - I think that some charities that present themselves as helping individuals also blame them for their position use rhetoric (or practices) that blame them for being in that situation, but not all do.  One of the things that really struck me about the donations Harry chose to support on tour was that as soon as he hit America the rhetoric got much more right-wing and blaming individuals.  Up till America a lot of the charities were like ‘people don’t have this thing - we provide it’.  When you got to America the charities all described themselves as not just providing things for people, but improving them (for example rather than just giving people who are hungry food, they’ll talk about encourage people to make better choices.  Even the LGBTQ charity he supported talked of pathways to independence).  That idea that working-class people, poor people, people without resoruces, disenfranchised people, need to be changed - that’s what I object to and think is wildly reactionary and harmful.  

To talk in slightly more positive terms - I actually think if you have resources and you’re figuring out how to help ‘Let’s make someone happy today’ is a good starting point. Give money to homeless people, pay into people’s gofundme accounts, buy sick and disabled kids playstations. If the problem is that people’s needs aren’t being met, then meet those needs, don’t suggest that people need to be changed so they can get their needs met.  If you want to be a little bit systematic than giving coins to people you see on the street - then look for charities that are unconditional in what they do, rather than those that try and draw distinctions between the deserving and undeserving poor (Harry promoted some sort of running for the homeless charity that was the absolute opposite of this - to the extent that just thinkign about it’s existence makes me apoplectic with rage).  

(Incidentally, there is research to suggest that when people’s needs are met in an unconditional way it’s much easier to make changes they want to make in their own lives. That programmes that think that homeless people need to be transformed are nowhere near as transformative as programmes that give homeless people a house.  But for me that’s incidental - the reasons I’ve discussed in the paragraphs above are more important.)

You mentioned thinking about Harry saw charity.  I don’t think we can tell - particularly not in the terms that I’m talking about. He’s supported a range of charities, including those that operate on a hugely controlling model.  I agree that he probably wants to help and I suspect his ideas about what that mean would seem incoherent and wrong to me.  It’s notable that a programme that kept services from homeless people unless they went for a run didn’t set off any red flags for him. 

To give a more personal answer - I tend to see money as a form of solidarity.  I don’t tend to give to super large organisations, because the chances that they’ll do things I disagree with increases exponentially. There are organisations that combine meeting people’s needs with advocacy that I think are really worth supporting.  For example in NZ welfare advocacy organisations help ensure people get their entitlements and help in really important ways.  But they then learned a lot about what is wrong with the system and can use that knowledge to advocate for change.  Organisations that meet refugee and migrants needs and advocate on their behalf were vital to exposing the Windrush scandal here in the UK.  Finding these sorts of organisations

I also think it’s important to look beyond charities (charitable status can be very limiting) and giving money to those who need it to sustain their struggles. Give money to workers who are on strike.  Contribute to the legal costs of people who are being targetted because they’re fighting for a better world. (There’s an important history of politically aware  entertainers doing both these things - although of course the mass contributions of people with much less money have always been more important). 

But the bigger question, the one I think you’re ultimately asking is how can I change the world? Your money (even if you’re comfortably middle class) is not the most important thing you can contribute.  The most important thing you can do is join together with other people around you and collectively try and .  Join a union if you’re an employee, get together with other renters if you’re a renting, fight to change a law that fucks you over.  Widen your solidarity to people who are facing different struggles, but have similar enemies.  We can have a better world - people have fought and won in the past and will in the future - and they’ve done it by working together. 

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

We interrupt Absolute Hope’s Birthday to bring you a post that’s probably going to get waay too long and sentimental.

 Precisely one year ago today, I looked at a certain Hope Dope’s wiki page, realised it was his birthday, and gushed about it to a friend. I jokingly sent them a few sprites along with dialogue Nagito would totally be using in that situation, realised I liked it, made a sideblog that I planned to leave untouched for a period of time until I was sure I wanted a new muse, and...opened it by day’s end because I have no self-control. Eventually, that sideblog was remade into the mess you know and tolerate today. I was nervous and a little anxious, because I’d had some very bad experiences in other RP circles, but in the past year, I’ve actually fallen into this incredibly positive and wonderful group of talented people who have encouraged me to become better as a writer and a mun; so I figure, why not mark the date by celebrating those people? Please note, this isn’t a follow forever. I’m always too trepidatious to do those, because I always feel like I’m going to leave someone out. Think of this as a callout post of the very best kind. Without you amazing people, this blog would not be. 

 --In no particular order, of course; and some of you may get mentioned by more than one account. Some of you, I may not be able to mention by name. But just know, everyone here, called out directly or indirectly, has influenced this blog in a wonderful way!

@ask-thebrothers-kaiba: without whom I may never have had the courage to step back into canon character rp. Without knowing anything about Komaeda or the fandom, this angel gave me the encouragement I needed, just because I needed it. And they’re still one of the best friends I’ve ever made on this hellsite. Not to mention a Top Quality writer and artist.  

@fxshionable-mxsks: believe it or not, you were the very first person I threaded with. First, and still a favourite. Thank you for the warm welcome.

@lxckyinsxnity, @komacda, @fortunefucked, @nagitc, & all my other Ko mutuals and multimuses: here’s to people who love our boy as much as I do. Thank you for thinking of ways to tackle him I never could, and inspiring me to keep being creative. 

@rxg-txg, @the-taboo-king, @theholylight, @soaringpilot-and-littlewing, @pxlotspeaking, @diviisus, @ishcni: all people I arguably thread or plot with the most right now. Without exception, a gifted group of creative writers. I adore each and every one of you for what you bring to this blog in character, but also out of character, too. You’re all amazing, amazing people who make me feel warm and welcome.

@ahogedetective, @burdenedname, @kisstheshslcook, @luminaryblood, @nonludum, @robot-fxcker, @springslain, @theliarandtheultimate, @ultimctepoet, @x-hopelesshope-x: I have either active or semi-active threads with each of these people, and while you may not necessarily be my most common partners - in fact, some of you are very new to me - I do adore everything we have going. I know the word ‘talent’ gets thrown around a lot ‘round these parts, but these people have oodles to spare. 

---A moment for all my past partners, who I don’t have anything with right now; hit me up, you guys. There’s too many to tag, but sometimes I like going back and reading over old things, just because it’s a lot of fun. 

@sammibr0, @jaycesrpmainaccount, @kikothepianist, @theiicarus, @ru-kitty-chu, @katherine-sagami, @fierabreeze​, @hazuukashi, @entwinedthreads, @ultimatetalentless, @shslbaby-yakuza, @hckerman: All amazing people, who don’t 100% fit into the categories above. Whether you’re here because I bounce a lot of stuff off you, because I’ve noticed your name in my notes a lot, because we’re always IM-ing back and forth, because we thread on occasion and I adore your portrayal, because your work is just hecking awesome and inspires me to step up my game, because you make me smile, because you’ve been a really great friend to me, or any combination thereof; you should know my blog would not have turned out the same without you guys. 

I kind of can’t tag these people, but all the anons who have left ideas that have spiraled out of control into entire plots and AUs of their own. 

And finally, here’s one for everybody who’s ever contributed to my time here in any way. Everyone who’s ever threaded or plotted with me; dropped me something in my IMs, tagged me in stuff, spammed my notes, stalked me from afar or anear; anyone, without whom, my time here would be different in any way shape or form. If you’re reading this and thinking, “that doesn’t include me” -- it 100% does. I can’t tag absolutely everyone who’s ever touched my experience here in any way, but I hope I can make it clear how much I appreciate all of you. I’ve made no secret of the love I have for what this kind of communication between people can do. When people crate, whether their work is objectively “good” or “bad”; they do something in a way only they can do. They bring what only their one-of-a-kind selves can bring. That makes every word and every line precious. What the way things are written and interpreted creates is a moment that never can and never will be seen again. That’s an incredible thing to share between people, from all around the world, all with different lives and backgrounds. So, thank you to everybody for making this blog worth logging onto almost every day for the past 365. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings!

[fatemawrites]

Binge-Watching: The Socially Acceptable Addiction

Even as I sit here writing this post about binge-watching, I find myself craving the escape. I haven't eaten dinner and there is no one around to demand my attention: two perfect prerequisites for jumping into a TV show. This habit is one I've honed over the years: heat up food, turn on the TV or log onto a streaming service, eat and wile away the hours. Intentions such as, "I'll only watch one episode" don't matter. Self-regulation, the process of organizing self without outside intervention such as another person demanding your attention, slowly dissipates. A 20-40 minute affair slowly becomes 3, 6, or, at the very worst, 9-12 hours.

I've struggled with binge-watching for two decades now. Before the age of DVDs and streaming services, I watched hours and hours of television after school and well into the night. It was easy to justify: I was home alone often with nothing to do; I excelled in school, so I never had to study too hard and frequently finished my homework at school. TV became a perfect escape from boredom.

In rural Bangladesh where I grew up, watching TV was a community event. My family and most of our neighbors did not own a TV, so we would all gather together at the home of the one neighbor who had a set. Sitting on the floor in front of the TV, surrounded by people, I felt completely safe from inappropriate touches and sexual abuses, something that was a reality in other settings. During that time, TV became a safe haven.

Later in America, my passion for TV led me to fanfic, where TV shows never went on haitus, and fandoms (online communities) provided much needed connection in an otherwise isolated existence. Fandoms were a source of affirmation, validation, and encouragement. Actively participating in fandom, I made friends, exercised my creativity, and learned skills that continue to serve me today. TV became a gateway for learning and connection.

As my life became more complicated, binge-watching TV became a private affair. I watched hours and hours of TV on my own, often actively disliking watching TV with others. Under the demands of a rigorous undergraduate curriculum, I disengaged from fandom and watched TV to "relax" and "reset." This went on after I graduated from college, started a demanding job, entered a toxic relationship, exited said relationship, and embarked on a long journey to heal from childhood sexual abuse. TV was a constant companion, marking the lows and loneliness.

Studies have demonstrated that watching excessive amounts of TV has deleterious effects on physical and mental health. Binge-watching is an inherently sedentary activity that can lead to obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. It's also been connected to sore, tired eyes; insomnia or a reduction in quality sleep; depression; loneliness; and anxiety. To these studies, I would add my own observations and experiences: binge-watching contributes to anti-social behaviors, reduction of will power (often in the form of procrastination and dissolving of self-regulation), complacency (as individuals and citizens of a democratic society), and numbing of creativity. I also think it's correlated with binge-eating.

Despite these negative health effects, binge-watching is celebrated. We proudly declare our intention to binge-watch ("So excited for this series on Netflix; that's gonna be my weekend") and drop binge-watching into small talk ("I binge-watched all ten seasons in two weeks"). Companies encourage us to binge-watch, dumping thousands of hours of content onto their platforms each month, with 26-32 year olds subscribing to an average of three video streaming services. Internet and media giants are also banking on the epidemic, encouraging us to "binge on".

"Binge," a traditionally negative word that means to do something in excess, has become positive. Imagine if we were to treat binge-drinking or binge-eating the same way. Statements such as "My plans for the weekend are to binge drink" or "I was binge-drinking for two weeks straight" would never be socially acceptable; if anything, it would signal that there's a problem at hand, a person in need of an intervention. Yet, the same does not apply for binge-watching. Why?

I've come to justify it in a couple of different ways. We have been brainwashed to think TV is a "relaxing" activity worthy of excess. When this rationale fails and I dare to acknowledge binge-watching as a problem, I think, "Who am I harming?" This harming-no-one mentality clearly excludes myself, but knowing that I am not harming others makes it acceptable (the same logic does not apply to binge-eating, however, but that has more to do with sizeism and is out of the purview of this post). But at the end of a "binge-a-thon" when I'm left with anger (at myself, at the world, at life), emptiness, dissatisfaction, and depression, I have to face the reality: I, along with 70% of Americans, have an addiction problem.

So, what does an addict (and a society of addicts) have to do to recover? If we treat binge-watching the same way we treat alcoholism, then we might get to a healthy medium. As a society, we need to stop glorifying binge-watching and stop marketing campaigns that encourage this behavior. Streaming services need to do more than flash "Are you still watching?" signs. Perhaps they should flash a warning, informing people of the negative effects of binge-watching. App developers could design an app that allows viewers to set their own limits within a 24-hour period, which if reached, blocks access to the subscription service.

As individuals, we need to define for ourselves what healthy relationship to TV looks like. I have tried curbing my binge-watching only to come to the realization that going cold-turkey is probably the only way for me. Much like an alcoholic, there is no middle ground, no one-drink limit. I am either on the wagon or off.

Once we define a healthy relationship, we can employ some of the following strategies to stay healthy:

Exercise mindfulness. Binge-watching numbs us, allows us to disconnect and disregard our surroundings and circumstances. One way to re-engage is to exercise mindfulness. Practice pausing and looking around the room. Take in the details. Even a few seconds of this can shift us out of autopilot.

Turn off autoplay. This will help with exercising mindfulness.

Practice positive affirmations, such as "I release the need to binge-watch television." Positive affirmations can help reprogram the brain.

Create a check-list of things you can do instead of binge-watching, and then do it. This check-list can include things like: close your eyes, breathe, count to ten, and repeat three times; call a friend; get up and drink a glass of water; stretch. Do these things after pausing the video (if the video is playing, you won't be mindful and these strategies won't work).

Keep a list of changes you notice when not binge-watching TV. You might notice that you have more energy or you feel more focused. Reading this list later can also help keep you on track.

Dive deep and examine the real reasons for binge-watching. Binge-watching fulfills a need, feeds a fear. Examine these reasons closely. What challenge is being avoided? What feelings are not felt? What is being delayed, pushed out, or missed?

Watch out for harder-to-track replacements, such as excessive social media usage or shorter videos (the YouTube spiral). Sometimes, one addiction can be replaced with another. Stay alert to these changes.

One study on binge-watching has found that an hour of TV can shorten life by 22 minutes. From where I'm standing, that's a scary finding and one that warrants considerable consideration. How much life are we willing to lose? As for me, my journey has started anew: today is day one of no-binging. Hopefully tomorrow leads to equal success.