#and we play fight about how he’s a dead beat dad and doesn’t wanna pit effort into seeing the kids and whatever

[localgardenweed]

Bro I beg you, draw Romano heh (we are marrief)

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

The Ninja as Things My Friends and I Have Said

My friend keeps a quote-book and I thought y’all would enjoy this lol

Jay: say your last words to me, I’m about to be smited

Jay: I am so bright, I am star

Kai: Pickles and Dick Jay: Pickle my dick? Kai: PICKLE AND DICK! Lloyd: TICKLE MY DICK?

Kai: I want to play hot potato with a hand grenade

Lloyd: this chocolate milk mocks me

Kai: Can we all agree that when Jay walks he looks like a flamboyant gay drag-queen toddler

Lloyd, looking at a tampon: is that a cheese stick?

Kai: Where you at you little hoe?

Cole: Don’t do gay it’s not healthy 

Jay: I live life as a pirate. Because a pirate is free

Jay: The sun's only up for half the year in Alaska Cole: We have that too. It's called nighttime

Morro: Lick his nuts, they have a sorta Mexican flavor

Kai: I need to be surrounded with seven beautiful naked women in order to sleep at night

Lloyd: You know how there's like a line between bravery and stupidity? Nya: Jay is that line

Jay: Disclaimer: I am an anxious bean

Wu: It’s not your fault but it is your problem

Cole: I can't keep a straight face anymore. It's gay now.

Lloyd: That was such a late reaction it could've been my dad coming back

Zane: DISCO PENIS

Kai: I wanna stand around and look GORGEOUS

Kai: I'm outrageously good-looking Zane: No you’re not

Lloyd: I admit when I'm wrong! Kai: Oh yeah. But I'm like never wrong!

All of the ninja, always: It would be so much fun to hurt a bad person

Zane: what state do I live in? Jay: depression

Kai: cool onesie... can I get inside it?

Lloyd: They call me Santa. I bring snow to the children.

Kai: Don't fucking giggle you little shit.

Nya: I will beat you with a meat stick

Cole: You moan more than the dumpster out back

Wu: Don't stick the plungers on your foreheads!

Garmadon: whY are you SMelLING the plungers?

Zane: How does one piss in a watermelon?

Lloyd: When I become 99 pounds I'm going to eat a pound of chicken nuggets so I can be 1% chicken nugget. It's indisputable.

Cole: It smells like SHIT. Like it smells kinda okay now, but it still smells like shit. So it's like. Perfumeshit

Jay: Your socks are untied

Lloyd: Morro can just molest himself

Jay: Can you please not get a fucking locker smaller than my self esteem

Zane: You be smellin your own shit soon Jay: I already do Zane: Get it? Cause your mom gay. Everyone: ...what?

Lloyd: My name's Lloyd and I wear shoes sometimes

Nya: Unlike Skylor, they actually like balls

Kai: Fuck fuck fucking fuck fucking fucktown

Jay. I’m about to go commit space heater in bathtub

Kai: Vaccines make you gay

Lloyd: It’s not because I’m Asian, its because I eat rice so much

Zane: Hi. I’m Zane. ... my dick fell off

Kai, to Lloyd: Your dad is my fuckbuddy. ... wait. Shit.

Lloyd: You didn’t miss. You hit me right in the fucking nipple.

Kai: Eat my dick

Nya. Bite off your own dick

Cole: Your face looks like you're trying to make your dick fall off

Lloyd: So we were sitting watching TV eating macaroni with a fruit roll-up soaking my feet in a trashcan

Jay: I’m gonna go commit visit Pompeii in time machine

Jay: How can spiders fall from the ceiling and just skrrrrt away

Kai: Because none of us can speak proper sentences

Kai: Hold on. I'm sending a meme. I can't fight.

Jay: Engulf your own dick

Jay: Please don’t have a Boston tea party in my back yard

Kai: Still it felt like I committed a minor crime in Iran with all the water in my nose

Jay: Sensei Wu, please throw scissors... I kinda wanna die

Kai: I got royally fucked

Jay: Get your meaty luscious legs

Jay: The fuck you mean take my pants off? They're always on! Cause no one wants me to take them off!

Lloyd, picking up a napkin and seeing food fall out: IT’S BIRTHING 

Zane, threateningly: Give me your kidneys 

The Overlord: Where is your technology stored?

Zane: I can balance my body on my boner and spin like a beyblade

Kai: My balls are not a muscle

Cole: So apparently I'm not the only one with asymmetrical balls. Lloyd: Wait actually? Cole: Well yesterday Kai gave us a very descriptive description of his balls

Zane, sarcastically: Gosh darn don’t you hate it when you're not allowed to bring your 5 dollar footlong subway to training

Lloyd: So he poked me in the back with a pencil and my third grade self was like, "BLASPHEMY"

Kai: You.... dickmuncher

Jay: We're playing infinity Life. It's like Life but the cars are infinity stones.

Kai: I could have divine gay sex and it would still be nohomo.

Cole, during some super serious training: Bake me into a pie daddy

Kai: a compliment sandwich, like this: I like your shoes, YOU SUCK, your eyes are pretty

Zane, to Lloyd: Don't KILL her! Too much paperwork!

Jay: Stop moving your butt. It's uncomfortable when you clench it

Cole: The STICK.. will be UP YOU! Kai: My ASS is your spot!

Jay, teaching Kai to roller skate: First, we master walking  

Kai: I know I’m beautiful and perfect and amazing and huMBLE

Lloyd: I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Cole: I'm allergic to emotions!

Zane: Yeet is not a valid Scrabble word

Kai: I love myself 3000. And you should, too. Love yourself, that is. Unless you wanna love me as well, cause that’s cool too.

Zane: Is doing drugs illegal

Lloyd: Post-traumatic stress? More like spicy memories

Jay: Be quiet so I can see

Cole: Why is my wallaber grinding its ass on the floor?

Kai: Whatever, my ass cheeks are balanced ... just as all things should be

Garmadon: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE SOMEBODY THINK YOU WERE GONNA HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR!

Sensei Garmadon: First of all, nobody says they're fine when they're good

Lloyd, getting himself a donut: A chocolate frosted donut for a chocolate frosted child

Nya, about Harumi: I just loathed her at first sight. Like your dad!

Morro, about Lloyd: He reminds me of a cucumber.

Cole, after becoming human again: I’m like Jesus... I thirst

Lloyd, sipping apple juice out of a shot glass: I'm just... done, ya know

Jay: Zane was eating my popcorn and I was like "hey that's my popcorn!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes "surprise communism!"

Lloyd: I consumed a spatula

Jay: I almost burned down my house making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Zane, after Jay climbs on his back: Unmount me you heathen.

Kai: Yeah it's been such a dick-licking long time

Karlof: In Metalonia we do not have sister, we have brother with pussy

Zane: I want to delete my meatsack

Little Lloyd: At about 10 I was so hungry so I went to the med tent and pretended to be fainting so I got crackers

Garmadon: Before we leave I'm gonna sing a Disney song to attract all the females. Especially Misako

Jay, about to get sunburned: I know right, sunscreen is gross, you look like a glazed donut after you put it on

Cole: I like nuts but not that much. ... both kinds... I like my own nuts.

Zane: Hi I’m Zane and I’m the only one in this group with any form of common sense

Lloyd: Oh there's just someone throwing up over there! Kai: That’s hot

Cole, having a cashew thrown at him: I don’t want to swallow your nut ... I DON’T WANT YOUR NUT

Lloyd: My uncle is  going to sacrifice my body

Kai: Okay. You ALL can eat MY ass

Lloyd: A picture will last longer than your family will

Garmadon: That last rep was like a hydroflask and this one was like a kleankanteen

Kai: I bet for a second he was like "oh my God they care about me"

Kai: Because no one would be ballsy enough, no pun intended, to whip his dick out and piss on a crowded bus

Jay: Fuck a duck Lloyd: Please just dont ..ff... a duck Jay: But the duck likes it. It goes quackquackquackQUACKAFLACK.

Lloyd: Digiorno? More like I'm fucking hungry

Lloyd: My socks are so wet tis but a small price to pay for salvation

Kai: No means no muchacho

Dareth after failing at spinjitzu: Now I'm just dizzy and my ass hurts

Zane: I said, Cole, don’t orgasm in public, it’s rude, and Cole started moaning as loud as humanly possible

Lloyd: Say cheese! Kai: Whiskey!

Jay: Who the fucking dammit

Jay: Spongebob square-nuts

Jay: Actual- ACTUALLY it WOULDN’T make me more of a smartass because my SMART has yet to be caught up with my ASS

Lloyd: I hate it when my foot becomes the itch

Kai: STDs are like pokemon, you gotta catch em all

Kai: Here y’all are like "I like them 'cause of how they hold themselves and whatnot" and I’m just like “GIRL PRETTY"

Cole: I hate it whenever my foot becomes the gay.

Kai: I’m shit at being a person, not a shit person.

Zane: Buses turn me on

Jay: No pissing in our VSCO hangout!

Lloyd: Are y’all on high?

Kai: Its gotta warm up to start lavaing, now it’s just lamping.

Kai, crying: When I was crawling through the sewer my hair got stuck in my knee pit and ripped out a chunk

Lloyd, deepthroating a plastic recorder: I’m blonde so naturally, I'm good at this

Kai: I’m depressed. I’m stressed. But at least I’m well-dressed.

Lloyd: Nom nom milk carton

Cole, playing Life: Give me children

Jay, on a Thursday: If Friday was a Tuesday, it would be today

Kai: We're eating lotion and calling it spicy butter ... it’s spiritually spicy

Kai: I don’t fucking know! I'm not a cheese wheel!

Zane: Beepbeep bitch what's that? My lie detector smells a lie

Lloyd: I aced two tests today! The PSAT and the rice purity test!

Pixal: I don't really get the phrase "dry as bones" because your bones are in fact, wet

Cole: Kai, Kai, we can draw you as one of those anime girls. With humungous eyes. Actually no, it doesn't matter what the size of your eyes are. But your boobs are HUGE.

Lloyd: Jay wants to become the Alpha hoe

Cole: STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD AND SAYING IT FEELS GOOD

Jay: Deli sandwich equals cold hamburger

Lloyd: How was your day? Cole: Good. I have pie dough in my water bottle

Jay: If we do that we can reach our minimum requirement which is our goal

Kai: You can taste the freedom in that nacho cheese

Lloyd: I lust for the crust

Garmadon: You dirty-minded fools!

Anyone, to Skylor: You sucked the fire

Lloyd: OHMYGOD WE GET TO COLOR WITH CRAYONS!

Nya: Not to be lesbian or anything... but DAMN

Jay: No means no in Spanish

Kai: Bro saxophone is literally the sexiest instrument alive

Wu: The only wrong answers are the ones I don’t agree with

Kai: Look, why do you need to be a bottom to suck someone else's cock?

Cole: Jay, you suck Jay: More so than you do? Kai: Wait... wait you mean like you suck at the game or you’re better at sucking than he is?

Kai: WE CAN WANT YOU SEXUALLY TOO

Cole: That's not kinky, that's just abusive

Lloyd: CAN WE STOP USING THE TERM “BLONDE BITCH”

Cole: That’s not how you do it! Straddle me HO!

Kai: I didn’t mean to kick you in the coochie! Jay, I’m the distance: Be genital with her!

Cole: Yeah, also Jay tackled me and then grabbed me in between his legs and Kai jumped on top and Jay smacked his ass and I tried to record so Kai tried to smack my phone out of my hand and missed and his finger went right in my eye so I rolled over screaming and they got up and threw pebbles at me

Cole: It sounds naked! Music!

Kai, to anyone after they say Wu seems chill: He looks like a big soft squishy man but he is not

Zane: On average, in order to feel happy, you need to be touched, (pokes Jay) 8 times a day Kai raises two fingers on each hand: I’m about to make you ALL happy" *every person at the table in unison scoots away*

Zane: You looked like lord farquad but in a cute way!

Jay, after getting a pizza shoved at him. The pepperoni sanitized my facehole

Kai: I am the WITNESS! VICTIM! And I will play ... the e x e c u t i o n e r .

[winchesterbrotherstan]

SPN- Bloodlust (2.03)

Pairing: Olive Winchester (OC)

Summary: While investigating a case, the siblings run across someone from a familiar background. Dean clicks right away, but Sam and Olive are weary. Chaos ensues.

Warnings: blood (lol duh), fighting, choking, idk writing part of this made me sad but i did it for the ~drama~

Word Count: 6078

“Whoo! Listen to her purr!” Dean turned to Sam and I with a huge grin. “Have you ever heard anything so sweet?”

I giggled, overjoyed to see him so happy. He had fixed Baby up, and she looked better than when Dad gave her to us.

“You know, if you two wanna get a room, just let me know, Dean.” Sam teased.

Dean shook his head, the smile still on his face. “Oh, don’t listen to him, Baby. He doesn’t understand us.”

I giggled again, and Sam laughed.

“You two are in good moods.”

I shrugged. “I’m happy that Dean’s happy.”

Dean grinned and leaned over to press a quick kiss to my forehead.

“Got my car, got my baby siblings, got a case. Things are looking up.”

“Wow.” Sam scoffed playfully. “You hear a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you’re Mr. Sunshine.”

Dean laughed. “How far to Red Lodge?”

“Uh, about another three hundred miles.” Sam threw an arm over the back of the seats.

Dean grinned wider. “Good.”

                                                           ***

“Why do I have to stay in the car?” I whined.

“Because I said so.” Dean frowned back.

I sighed. “I didn’t have to stay in the car on other hunts.”

He sighed again. “I know, kid, but you don’t seem like a reporter when it’s the three of us.”

“It’s not even like I can play with Jinx. Sitting in a car is boring.” I huffed.

Jinx was still at Bobby’s. She was going to stay another week before we picked her up, since she loved his house and he loved her.

“Then say I’m your daughter and you couldn’t find a babysitter!” I begged, chin resting on the windowsill.

He huffed, then looked at Sam. Sam shrugged.

“It’s not that far off.”

He sighed again. “Fine. Fine, but you’re Sam’s kid. Come on.”

                                                          ***

“The murder investigation is ongoing, and that’s all I can share with the press at this time.”

I was sitting in a chair across from the sheriff’s open door. Sam and Dean were in suits and ties. They were reporters today, and I was Sam’s teenage kid. I could see Sam and Dean from my spot, but not the sheriff. He sure as hell sounded ridiculous though, which proved enough entertainment for me.

“Sure, sure, we understand that.” Sam nodded. “But just for the second, you found the first, uh… head… last week, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, and the other victim, a uh, Christina Flanigan…”

“That was two days ago. Is there-”

There was a knock on the open door, and the blond girl pointed at her watch.

“Oh. Sorry, gentlemen, but time’s up. Looks like we’re done here.”

“One last question-”

“Yeah, what about the cattle?” Dean cut Sam off.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and stayed silent, eyes closed.

“Excuse me?”

“You know, the cows found dead, split open, drained… over a dozen cases.” Dean reminded him.

“What about them?”

Dean gave Sam a look, and I cleared my throat. Sam was quick to save Dean.

“You don’t think there’s a connection?”

“Connection? With?”

“First cattle mutilations, now two murders? Kinda sounds like ritualistic stuff.”

“You know, like satanic cult ritualistic.” Dean’s eyebrows rose.

The sheriff laughed. “You…” He stopped laughing upon seeing that Sam and Dean were completely serious. “You’re not kidding.”

“No.” Dean shook his head with a sickly sweet smile that soon faded.

“Those cows aren’t being mutilated. You wanna know how I know?”

“How?” Sam instantly shot back.

“Because there’s no such thing as cattle mutilation. Cow drops, leave it in the sun, within forty eight hours the bloat will split it open so clean it’s just about surgical. The bodily fluids fall down into the ground and get soaked up because that’s what gravity does. But hey, it could be satan.” He scoffed. “What newspaper did you say you worked for?”

Sam and Dean both cleared their throats, but Dean beat him to it. “World Weekly News.”

“Weekly World News.” Sam corrected.

“World… I’m new.” He chuckled.

The sheriff snorted. “Get out of my office.”

                                                          ***

“Dean, I’ve been in a morgue before.” I whined.

“Yeah, I don’t care. You’re staying in the car, where it’s safe.”

I scoffed. “Safe from what? A dead guy?”

“Olive.” He was serious. “This is not up for debate. You are staying in the car. Do you understand me?”

I nodded. “Yeah.” I sighed. “Be careful. Please.”

He smiled and ducked his head back in through the car window. “Love you, sweetpea.”

“Love you too. Bye, Sammy.”

“Bye, bug, be back soon.”

                                                          ***

The boys slunk into the car with matching looks on their faces.

“What happened?” I sat up.

Dean huffed and Sam shook his head.

“We got something weird on our hands, Ol.”

“Like what?”

Dean glanced at me in the rearview. “Vamps.”

“Hey, Ollie, you got your fake ID on you?”

I grinned as I flashed it. “Always.”

                                                          ***

“How’s it going?” Dean asked as we sat down at the bar.

“Living the dream. What can I get for you?”

“Two beers and a water, please.”

The bartender snorted and I smiled. “Someone’s gotta be able to drive.”

“So, we’re looking for some people.” Sam started.

“Sure. Hard to be lonely.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, but um…” He pulled out a fifty and stretched it out before dropping it on the bar. “That’s not what I meant.”

The bartender pocketed it and slid us our drinks.

“Right, so these… these people. They would’ve moved here about six months ago. Probably pretty rowdy, like to drink… real night owls, ya know? Sleep all day, party all night.” I took a sip.

“Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago. Real winners. They’ve been in here a lot. Drinkers, noisy. I’ve had to 86 them once or twice.”

The boys and I looked at each other. That was all we needed. I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach and latched onto Dean’s arm.

“Thanks.” He smiled and stood.

“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked, casual.

“We’re being watched.” I said through a smile.

Sam heard me and nodded, pushing Dean to lead so he could bring up the rear. We slunk across the floor and slipped out the back door.

“Alright, I’ll be the bait.” I whispered as I popped to my toes and pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek.

I didn’t give him time to protest it as I slipped into the back alley, leaving them to hide in the shadows. I could hear the man’s footsteps as he followed after me. I stopped at the alley way’s dead end and turned, gun trained between his eyes. It was one of the men that had been sitting in the bar.

“Can I help you?”

He turned to run, and Sam and Dean popped out of their places. Sam pinned him to the wall with a fierce look on his face, and Dean’s knife was at his throat. I put the gun back in my waistband and walked over, feeling like a total badass even though my brothers were doing all the work.

I framed myself between them and scowled. “Smile.”

“What?”

“Show us those pearly whites.” Dean growled.

“Oh, for the love of… do you wanna stick that thing someplace else? I’m not a vampire.”

I glanced up at Sam, who side-eyed me, then Dean.

“That’s right. I heard you guys in there.”

“What do you know about vampires?” Sam snapped.

“How to kill them. Now seriously, bro. That knife’s making me itch.”

Dean tilted his head.

Oh how tragic.

The man tried to stand straight, and Sam slammed him back into the wall. 

“Hey! Whoa. Easy there, chachi.”

I held back a growl as I glared at the man.

I wish Dad was here.

I blinked, taken aback.

Had the voice in my head just… talked to me?

I miss Dad too.

The man pulled his lips up to show us his gums. “See? Fangless. Happy?”

Sam let him go, and Dean pulled the knife away.

“Now.” The man spat. “Who the hell are you three?”

                                                          ***

“Sam, Dean, and Olive Winchester.” Gordon Walker, solo hunter spoke. “I can’t believe it. You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter. I heard he passed. I’m sorry. It’s big shoes. But from what I hear you guys fill ‘em. Great trackers, good in a tight spot-”

“You seem to know a lot about our family.” I cut him off.

“Word travels fast.” He sighed. “You know how hunters talk.”

“No.” I shook my head. “We don’t, actually.”

“I guess there’s a lot your dad never told you, huh?”

“So those two vampires, they were yours, huh?” I mocked his tone.

“Yep. Been here two weeks.”

“Did you check out Barker farm?” I spat.

“It’s a bust. Just a bunch of hippies. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone.”

“Where’s the nest?” I ignored the rack of fancy equipment that he pulled out of his car.

“Look, girl-”

“Her name’s Olive.” Sam snapped.

“I got this one covered. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a real pleasure meeting you fellas. But I’ve been on this thing for over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin, tracked the nest all the way up here. I’ll finish it.”

“We could help.” Dean offered, finally getting a word in.

“Thanks, but uh, I’m kind of a go-it-alone type of guy.”

“Come on, man. I’ve been itching for a hunt.” Dean grinned.

“Sorry. But hey, I hear there’s a chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out.” He shut the back door and got into his car. “It was real good meeting you, though. I’ll buy you a drink on the flip side.”

He drove off, and Dean and Sam both turned to me with strange looks on their faces.

“What?”

“What the hell was that?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. Dad never mentioned him, so why did he know so much about our family? He’s not a vamp, but he could be something else. A werewolf, a shifter. Hell, a skinwalker. Or he could just be some very shady dude.”

“Ol, I’ve never seen you go at anybody like that.”

“Yeah, Dean’s right. Not before.” Sam shook his head.

I sighed. “I don’t like his vibes.”

Dean sighed and Sam shrugged. “Alright. Let’s go.”

                                                          ***

“Hey!” I roared, fangs on display.

The vamp turned with an open mouth and wide eyes. Sam took the chance to pull Gordon out from under the power saw, helping him to his feet. The vamp came at me full force, and Dean picked up a loose crowbar and hit him with it. The vamp fell under the saw, and I watched as Dean moved without hesitation. He drove the crowbar into the vamp’s chest before throwing a few punches.

He lowered the saw, cutting the vamp’s head off. His face got sprayed with blood, and I jumped at the sound of bones crunching. Sam reached for me and pulled me into his chest. I hid my face in his shirt and shook, horrified. I had seen Dean kill, but this sent chills down my spine.

There was a long silence, and Sam ran a hand through my hair.

“It’s okay, bug. I’ve got ya.”

“So uh… I guess I gotta buy you that drink.”

Dean laughed, and I shrunk further into Sam.

“Yeah. Hey, babes.” He reached for me, and I forced Sam back as I moved forward, away from Dean.

Dean stared at me, confused. “What…”

Sam eyed him and shook his head. I turned and huddled back into Sam’s chest.

Too much blood.

                                                          ***

I was curled up in the chair, leaning into Sam’s side as much as I possibly could. Dean was on my other side, because it was either him or Gordon, but I didn’t want anybody except Sam.

“Here you go.” The waitress came by, placing another round, as well as the bill, down on the table.

Dean reached for his wallet, and Gordon waved his hand.

“No, no, I got it.”

“Come on.” Dean tried.

“I insist.” Gordon handed a 50 to the waitress. “Thank you, sweetie.”

My stomach churned and I pressed my head further into Sam. He wrapped his arm tighter around me.

“Another one bites the dust.” Gordon raised his glass.

Bad vibes, bad vibes, bad vibes.

I swallowed, hard.

I know.

“Dean.” Gordon laughed, and I shivered.

It sounded wrong coming out of his mouth. Like he had broken some ancient, blood-rule.

“You gave that big-ass fang one hell of a haircut, my friend.”

“Thank you.” Dean grinned.

“That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Yep.” Dean took a swig of his beer and glanced at us. “You alright, Sammy?”

“I’m fine.”

“Princess?”

“Feel sick.” I mumbled, not moving from the security of Sam’s grip.

“Well, come on. Smile, princess. Lighten up a little, Sammy.”

I clenched my jaw and a growl slipped its way through my throat. Sam scowled.

“He’s the only one who gets to call us that.”

“Okay. No offense meant. Just celebrating a little. Job well done.”

“Right. Well, decapitations aren’t my idea of a good time, I guess. And my little sister is sick to her stomach, so excuse me for not throwing a party.”

“Oh, come on, guys. It’s not like it was human. You’ve gotta have a little more fun with your job.”

“See?” Dean’s face lit up, and I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him! Sam, you could learn a thing or two from this guy.”

Sam looked back and forth between the two, a look of disgust forming on his face. “Yeah. I bet I could.”

I tugged on his jacket. “Sams, can we go home? Think I’m gonna puke.”

He nodded. “Look, I’m not gonna bring you guys down, and Olive really doesn’t feel well. We’re just gonna go back to the motel.”

Dean sighed. “You sure?”

Sam nodded as he stood, helping me stay steady on my feet.

“Alright. Hey, buttercup.” Dean reached for me again, and I stumbled back into Sam’s hold.

Dean sighed and looked down. He tossed the keys at Sam without looking.

“Remind me to beat the buzzkill out of you later, Sammy, yeah?”

Sam only rolled his eyes.

“Bye, De.”

He said nothing. My bottom lip quivered, and Sam swiftly picked me up by the waist, letting me cry into his neck.

“Come on, bug. Let’s go home.”

                                                          ***

“How’re you feeling, honey?” Sam whispered, putting a hand up to my forehead.

I shrugged. “Better, I guess.”

“Yeah. Maybe your tummy just needed to get all the yucky out, yeah?”

I nodded. Sam had rushed home so that I could barf. He held my hair back during, then made sure I brushed my teeth afterwards. He had braided my hair and put me in bed so I could sleep. The last time he had taken care of me, I was eleven, so the old habit was dying hard.

“Thanks for taking care of me, Sammy.” I mumbled.

He smiled and bent over, kissing my forehead. “Of course, baby. You gonna be okay if I make a phone call real quick?”

I nodded. “Can I get a ginger ale?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I’ll go after I’m done on the phone.”

I sniffed. “Are you sure?”

He nodded, pressing another kiss to my face. He sat down on the other bed with a wink as he pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Ellen, Sam Winchester.”

I felt my eyelids grow heavy as I watched him.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Just got a question.”

I turned onto my side, focusing on Sam’s face.

“You ever run across a guy named Gordon Walker?”

A pause.

“And?”

Sam caught my eye and made a silly face at me. I smiled, pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders.

“Well, we ran into him on a job and we’re kinda working with him, I guess.”

Sam’s face morphed into one of confusion. “I… I thought you said he was a good hunter. Wait, Ellen… Right…” He nodded. “Okay. Uh, alright. Thanks, talk later.”

He shut the phone and sighed.

“What is it, Sams?”

He shook his head. “Nothing to worry about, bunny.”

I sniffled again. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, smoothing my hair out. “Yeah, I’m sure. Okay. You get some rest, I’m gonna go get your ginger ale, alright?”

I nodded, letting my eyes fall shut. “Love you, bambi.”

He smiled. “Love you too, baby girl.” He kissed my head. “Get some shut eye.”

                                                          ***

“Hey. Hey, Ollie. Olive. Baby girl, wake up.”

I rolled over to see Dean shaking me. I inched away as I sat up, squinting. I caught a glimpse of Gordon at the table and my chest clenched.

You aren’t safe. You aren’t safe, you aren’t safe, you aren’t safe.

“Where’s Sam?” I asked, beginning to struggle to breathe.

“Figured you’d know.” Dean tried to move closer, and my chest began to ache like I had just been shot.

“Uh-”

“Car’s parked outside. Probably went for a walk. Seems like the take-a-walk type.” Gordon cut me off.

I scowled, and Dean shook his head, unconvinced.

“Yeah, he is, but…”

The door opened, and Sam walked in. I scrambled out of bed. I dodged Dean as best as I could as I jumped over the other bed and made a beeline for Sam. He caught me in his arms and glared at Gordon.

“Sammy.” I whimpered.

“I’m here, bug. I’m here.” He cradled my head.

“Sam, where you been?”

“Can we talk? Alone?”

Dean sighed. “Mind chilling out for a couple minutes?”

Gordon shrugged, and Sam opened the door. I shuffled out past him, leaning into his side as he began down the stairs.

“Oh, I’m…” I trailed off, looking down at my bare feet.

Sam scooped me and placed me on his hip without a word. “Dean, maybe we gotta rethink this hunt.”

“What’re you talking about? Where you been? I got here and Olive was all alone.”

“I was in the nest, Dean.”

“What?” My eyes went huge. “Are you okay?”

“You found it?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m alright, bug.” He sighed. “They found me, man.”

“How’d you get out? How many’d you kill?”

Sam scowled. “None.”

“Well, Sam, they didn’t just let you go.” Dean scoffed.

“That’s exactly what they did.”

“Alright, well where is it?” Dean’s eyebrows furrowed.

Sam shook his head. “I was blindfolded. I don’t know.”

“You’ve gotta know something, Sam.”

“We went over that bridge outside of town, but Dean, listen.” Sam sighed. “Maybe we shouldn’t go after them.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I don’t think they’re like other vamps, Dean!” He hissed. “I don’t think they’re killing people.”

“You’re joking.” Dean scowled. “Then how do they stay alive? Or undead, or whatever the fuck they are.”

“The cattle mutilations.” I realized, looking up at Sam.

He nodded. “They said they live off animal blood.”

“And you believed them?” Dean was shocked.

“Look at him, Dean. He doesn’t even have a scratch on him. No bites, no blood, no bumps or bruises.” I ran a hand through Sam’s hair. “They didn’t hurt him. And they didn’t hurt me either. I was asleep in the room, they could’ve killed me, easy.”

“Wait, so you two are saying…” Dean shook his head. “No, man. No way. I dunno why they let you go, and I don’t really care. We find ‘em and we waste ‘em.”

“But why?” I stressed.

“What part of vampires don’t you understand, Ol? If it’s supernatural, we kill it, end of story.”

He kept talking, but I couldn’t hear him.

We’re supernatural. Is he gonna kill us?

“Dean! Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren’t killing people, they’re not evil!” Sam spat.

“Sam, they’re all the same. They’re not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them!”

We’re not human. Is he gonna kill us?

“Gordon’s been on those vamps for a year, man. He knows.”

“Gordon?”

No!

I tensed up in Sam’s arms, and he held me tighter.

“You’re taking his word for it?”

“That’s right.”

“Ellen says he’s bad news.” Sam hissed.

“You called Ellen?”

Sam nodded.

Of course!

“And I’m supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, Sam. No thanks, I’ll go with Gordon.”

“Right, cause Gordon’s such an old friend. You think I can’t see what this is?”

“What are you talking about?” Dean fired back.

“He’s a substitute for Dad, isn’t he? A poor one.”

“Shut up, Sam.”

“He’s not even close, Dean.” Sam growled. “Not even on his best day.”

“You know what, Sam? I’m not even going to talk about this.”

“You know, you can slap that big fake smile on your face, but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad’s dead, and he left a hole, and it hurts so bad that you can’t take it. But you can’t just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It’s an insult to his memory.”

Dean took a breath, then stared right at Sam. “Put her down, Sam.”

“What?”

“Put her down.”

“Wait, no, Sams-”

“Put her down or she’s gonna get hurt too!”

“Sammy-”

Dean ripped me from Sam and pushed me over onto the floor. I crumbled against the wet pavement, in shock. Dean punched Sam clear across the face and I began to cry.

“You can hit me all you want, Dean. It won’t change anything.”

Dean took another swing, and I stumbled to my feet. I let out a growl, baring my fangs at Dean. He turned to me with death in his eyes and knocked me to the ground, hand on my neck.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Olive?”

I only growled louder, and he raised a fist. I shut my eyes and flinched, but it never came. Sam pushed him off onto the ground and kept him pinned.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re gonna hit her? You gonna punch your baby sister?”

“I’m going to that nest.” Dean shoved Sam off and got to his feet. “You don’t wanna tell me where it is, fine. I’ll find it myself.”

“Dean!”

Dean turned on his heel and walked away. Sam turned and brought me to my feet.

“Olive.”

“I’m okay.”

“It’s okay if you’re not okay.”

I coughed, put a hand up, and turned. I leaned over and puked again, only this time what came up was blood from my mouth and stomach acid. Sam rubbed a circle on my back.

“I’m okay. I’m okay, let’s just go.” I stood straight and took off after Dean.

“Dean!” Sam called.

He was in the motel room, which was empty.

“Gordon?” He called.

“You think he went after them?” Sam asked.

“Probably.” Dean scowled. “I fucking hope so.”

“Dean, we have to stop him.” I spat.

“Really, Olive? Because I say we lend a hand.”

“Dean, you just took me down in the middle of a parking lot.” I hissed. “Give Sam the benefit of the doubt. You owe me that.”

“Olive-”

“This is not a debate, Dean. Either you trust Sam or I’ll leave and I will never come back.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“And I thought you would never lay a hand on me.”

He sighed. “Fine. I’ll drive. Gimme the keys.”

Sam sighed and pointed to the table, where he had set the keys when we got home.

“He snaked the keys.”

“Mother fucker.”

                                                          ***

Dean grimaced as he hotwired Baby. A few sparks later, her engine turned over and she purred like she had earlier today.

“I can’t believe this.” He groaned. “I just fixed her up, too.”

I leaned into Sam’s side and refused to look up. Dean sighed. I could already feel his guilt, but I didn’t wanna hear anything from him right now, even if it was an apology.

“So the bridge… is that all you got?”

Sam nodded, tracing over the map. “The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm.”

“How do you know?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “I counted.” He traced the trail. “They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge.”

Dean huffed. “You’re good. You’re a monster pain in the ass, but you’re good. Alright kids, ready to rock and roll?”

I finally looked up at him and said nothing. My neck hurt, I had scraped my elbow, and my fangs had cut through parts of my lip. This was his fault.

He sighed again, then looked back at the road. “Let’s go.”

                                                          ***

“Come on.” Dean pushed me slightly behind him.

“Don’t touch me.” I snarled at him, backing away from him and into Sam.

“I’m sorry.” He shrunk down.

“Just stay with me, bug.” Sam whispered as Dean led the way into the farmhouse.

“Sam, Dean, Olive. Come on in.”

“Hey, Gordon.” Dean was at attention. “What’s going on?”

“Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man’s blood. She’s gonna tell us where all her little friends are, aren’t you? Wanna help?”

“Look, man…” Dean trailed off.

“Grab a knife.” Gordon gestured to the knives on the table. “I was just about to start in on the fingers.”

He dragged a knife covered in blood across her arm, and her veins pulsated black, tracing away from the cut. I gasped.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. Let’s all just chill out, huh?”

“I’m completely chill.” Gordon smiled.

“Gordon, put the knife down.” Sam took a step toward him.

I grabbed his wrist and Dean put a hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Sounds like it’s Sam here who needs to chill.”

“Just step away from her, alright?”

“You’re right. I’m wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery.” Gordon whipped out a larger knife. “I just sharpened it, so it’s completely humane.”

I took a step forward as a growl flowed past my lips. Gordon’s eyes locked on me, and I froze.

We fucked up.

Dean stepped in front of me, and I huddled behind him, hands gripping his jacket.

“Gordon, I’m letting her go.” Sam went at him.

“You’re not doing a damn thing.” The knife went up to Sam’s chest.

“Hey, hey, hey, Gordon. Let’s talk about this.” Dean’s hands went up.

“What’s there to talk about. It’s like I said Dean, no shades of grey.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear ya. And I know how you feel.” Dean moved closer, and I moved with him, horrified.

“Do you?”

“The vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one-”

He stopped as Gordon started to laugh.

“Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn’t kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down. And I killed her myself.”

“You did what?”

“It wasn’t my sister anymore. It wasn’t human. I didn’t blink. And neither would you.”

My blood ran cold, and Dean reached behind him, his hand landing on my arm. I moved to hold his hand in mine and gripped it. He locked eyes with me over his shoulder.

His eyes said it all. 

I’m so sorry.

I sighed and leaned against his shoulder.

He would blink.

“So you knew all along, then? You knew about the vampires, you knew they weren’t killing anyone. You knew about the cattle. And you just didn’t care.” Sam shook his head.

“Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we’re supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn’t change what they are. And I can prove that.”

Gordon twisted Sam’s arm back and sliced it. Sam grunted as Gordon put the knife to his throat and dragged him to Lenore. Dean pulled his gun and cocked it faster than I could blink.

“Let him go. Now!”

Sam looked horrified, and I panted, trying to hold back.

“Relax. If I wanted to kill him he’d already be on the floor. Just making a little point.” He twisted Sam’s arm again and squeezed.

His blood began to fall on Lenore’s face. She gasped before her fangs extended and she began to hiss.

“Hey!” Dean shouted.

“Think she’s so different? Still want to save her? Look at her. They’re all the same. Evil, bloodthirsty.”

Lenore regained control of herself. Her fangs went back inside, and she turned her face away, crying.

“No. Please, no.”

“You hear her, Gordon?” Sam challenged.

“No! No!” Lenore hung her head low.

Sam pushed the knife away from his throat and backed away from Gordon. “We’re done here.”

“Sam, get her out of here.”

“Yeah.” Sam picked her up. “I gotcha. I gotcha.”

Gordon took a step toward Sam, and Dean kept the gun trained on him.

“Uh-uh. No. Gordon, I think you and I’ve got some things to talk about.” Dean inched closer.

“Get out of my way.” Gordon put the knife back up.

I pulled my gun and cocked it, aiming between his eyes once more. “Sorry. Not gonna happen.”

“You’re not serious, Dean.”

“I’m having a hard time believing it too, but I know what I saw. If you want those vampires, you gotta go through me.”

Gordon eyed his knife before jamming it into the table. “Fine.”

Dean eyed the knife and nodded. He pulled the clip from his gun and set it on the table. I put the safety back on mine and tucked it into my waistband. Dean and I looked at each other. He had a soft smile on his face, and I felt close to tears.

Gordon came at him and punched him across the face. I pulled my gun again, but they were tussling back and forth, and I couldn’t get a clean shot. Gordon grabbed the knife again, and Dean let out a groan. They kept fighting, but my hand wasn’t steady enough to knock Gordon without hitting Dean. Dean knocked the knife out of his hand.

“What are you doing, man? You doing this for a fang? Come on, Dean. We’re on the same side here.”

“I don’t think so, you sadistic bastard.”

Gordon took Dean back to the ground, and I groaned as Dean grunted, hitting the floor.

“You’re not like your brother and sister. You’re a killer. Like me.” Gordon howled.

Dean rolled away, and I grinned, finally lining up my shot. Clean through the knee. Gordon screamed, and Dean smiled at me. He pinned him down and slammed His head into a wall.

“Oops, sorry.”

Gordon was now out cold, and I pulled over a chair so Dean could tie him up.

“You know. I might be like you, and I might now. But you’re the one tied up right now.” Dean grumbled before spitting in his face.

He turned to me and gave me the same small smile from earlier. I slowly made my way to him and accepted a hug, resting my head against his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Olive.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“I shouldn’t have put my hands on you. I’m so sorry.”

I nodded again. “I know. I shouldn’t have lost it in public.”

“I shouldn’t have hit Sam either. I’m sorry.”

I nodded a third time. “I’m sorry too. You miss Dad more than Sam and I do, and we should try to respect how you’re coping.”

He let out a soft laugh. “I really lucked out with you, kid.”

Another nod. “I know. I love you, De.”

“I love you too, baby girl. My sweet, beautiful girl.”

                                                          ***

“Did I miss anything?” Sam asks as he walks back into the barn.

“Nah, not much.” Dean shakes his head. “Lenore get out okay?”

Sam nods. “Yeah. All of em did.”

He eyes Olive, who is fast asleep on the floor, her head in Dean’s lap. He looks at Dean, who smiles.

“We made up.”

Sam grins. “Good.”

“Then I guess our work here is done. How you doing, Gordy? Gotta tinkle yet?” Dean taunts.

Gordon glares.

“Alright. Well, get comfy. We’ll call someone in two or three days, have them come out and untie you.”

He shakes Olive awake, who groans and rubs her eyes. She remembers what happened last night and tries to dig her head into Dean’s leg so that she won't have to get up. He laughs as Sam grabs her by the hands and drags her to her feet. She huffs.

“Ready to go, De?”

“Not yet.” Dean sighs. “I guess this is goodbye. Well, it’s been real.” He smiles his charming smile before punching Gordon at full force, sending him flying backwards in his chair.

Sam clears his throat as Olive giggles. He turns to his younger siblings with a smile.

“Okay. I’m good now. We can go.”

                                                          ***

“Hey, sweetheart.” Dean cups Olive’s face as they stretch outside of the farmhouse, basking in the sun.

“What?” She asks, cheeks smushed.

“I need you to know that I will never lay a hand on you again. Okay? I will never hurt you again. Ever. I love you.”

She nods, feeling tears well into her eyes. “Okay. I love you too.”

He pulls her into his chest and kisses the top of her head. Olive wipes the tears away from her eyes. Dean may be a douchebag at times, but he’s her brother, and she wouldn’t trade him for the world.

“Okay. Okay.” He clears his throat and stands, setting his feet apart like a boxer would. “Sam, clock me one.”

“What?”

“Yeah. You get a freebie, and then Olive gets to do whatever the hell she wants. Come on, let’s go.”

Sam and Olive cock their heads, staring at each other, and then their big brother.

“No.”

“Come on, I won’t even hit ya back. Let’s go.”

“You look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I’ll take a raincheck.”

Olive giggles, and Dean turns to her, patting his cheek. “Come on. Your go.”

She smiles and runs at him, but jumps into his arms. He catches her with a groan as he stumbles backward. She’s not heavy, but Dean’s so tired that he wishes she would’ve bitten clean through his arm instead.

“This is my punishment?”

“Yeah, you gotta carry me to the car.” She grins as she gets comfy in his hold.

He sighs, patting her back as the siblings start back toward their car.

“What is it, De?”

“I wish we never took this job. It’s jacked everything up.”

Sam and Olive share another look.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy. Our whole lives.”

Sam nods. “Okay?”

“What if… what if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing? Ya know? I mean, the way Dad raised us…”

“Dean… after what happened to Mom… Dad did the best he could.”

“I know he did.” Dean sighs. “But the man wasn’t perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things. And man, I hate em. I do. Olive’s the only creature I’ve ever loved. When I killed that vamp at the mill, I didn’t even think about it. Hell, I enjoyed it.”

“You didn’t kill Lenore.” Olive pipes up.

“No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill em all, ya know.”

“Yeah, Dean.” Sam starts. “But you didn’t. And that’s what matters.”

Dean scoffs. His younger siblings keep him grounded, and he knows that. But he’ll be damned if he admits that.

“Yeah, well, cause you two are major pains in my ass.”

Sam grins. “Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.”

“Thanks.” Dean whispers.

Sam grins. He can’t tell if Dean’s whispering because he feels weak or because Olive is sleeping again. He smiles either way.

“Don’t mention it.”

Sam climbs into the car. Dean opens the back door and lays Olive down, letting her curl up onto her side. He peels off his jacket and lays it over her with a smile. He shuts the door, stares at the sunset, and then gets in the car and drives off.

Previous Ep: Everybody Loves a Clown (2.02)

Next Ep: Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (2.04)

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Two liveblog of The Mandalorian!  Let’s go!!!

A Leetle Lizard!

I’m laughing what’s Mr. Grumpypants gonna do with the Yoda baby?

Gahhhhh it’s still so CUTE

LOOK AT ITS FACE

I’m wondering, did they go back to using an actual puppet for the Yoda baby or still CGI

Oop he senses something

VIBE CHECK lol

Heckin’ shoves the baby away

Oh he’s a good fighter!

DON’T MESS WITH MY KID I’LL BLOW U UP

So is the bounty still for the baby or for Mando Man now?

I still adore the title theme holy shit it’s got that perfect Western vibe

Oof ouch self wound care

LOOK AT THE BABY FACE GAH

OMG BABY’S TRYNA FORCE HEAL HIM I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

Mando man are you zapping your electronic thing with the same thing you just tried to cauterize your wound with?

Dummy you’re gonna get an infection

Ok this is definitely Tatooine, there’s Jawas

Baha they’re stealing his ship parts xD

Just freakin’ explodifies them pffftttt

AND THE BABY’S JUST WATCHING ALL OF THIS LIKE “huh”

AND NOW THE BABY’S JUST FOLLOWING ALONG WHILE HE’S GETTING STUFF HURLED AT HIM AND ALMOST CRUSHED BY ROCKS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

Oop bye bye!

Oh I guess not hello there

PFFF THEY JUST STUN HIM AND--

Sad babu awww

Oh dang they really stripped that thing didn’t they

Oof that’s rough buddy

Aww I feel bad for him he doesn’t deserve all of that

AWW LOOK AT THE BABY

I really think it’s a puppet

I bet he’s going to visit Ugnaught guy

Yep

BABY FOUND A FROG AWWW

Ack his voice is so nice

“Spit that out” pffff he’s a dad already xD

Wait hang on a fuck since when does it rain and thunder like that on Tatooine that’s cool!

Disintegrations do not good friendships make

Pfff I just noticed the little boat he’s riding in behind the Bluurg

Weapons part of Mando religion cool!

*Disgruntled sigh* ahaha that’s like 90% of his character I love it

HE JUST FUCKIN TORCHES THEM I LOVE IT

“Get away from it” hey 

The egg?

Bahaha he’s too big for the room xD

This poor dude and his weird-ass life I love him he’s just so put upon and done with everything

I LOVE THE BABY FACE

Oh no is that some sort of sarlaac pit or something

Pleeease don’t tell me he has to steal some kinda sarlaac egg

Oop bones something’s been eating

Oh that’s alive

Awwww poor guy

Right in the mud really that’s mean!!!!

Angry space rhino huh

OH NO THE BABY GO AWAY RHINO DUDE

Poor Mando man looks exhausted

Woah it’s like a rhino/bear hybrid

Oof wow this dude’s been in literally two episodes and I can already tell he’s gonna end up rivaling Obi Wan in “the writers really seem to enjoy kicking the snot out of them until you wanna give them a hug”

FORCE BABY FORCE BABY!!!!!!!!

OMG HE SAVED HIS DAD I’M CRYING I’M CRYING

HOW IS HE THIS POWERFUL TO LIFT THAT THING HE’S A BABY

Wait why not play the Force theme?

Awww I wanted to hear it :/

Oh no baby has Force exhaustion!!!!

At least rhino/bear is dead

Sir, sir you’ve got a little something sticking out of your--

Sir your armor

Sir pls

Oh good it’s just a bent chestplate

Good baby saved him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ew furry egg

That’s what they want I guess

Suka!  Suka! xD

Wait they were just hungry?  That’s glorious I love it

“I’m surprised you took so long” bro seriously a giant rhino thing just beat him up and you’re a kickable size don’t test him

Oh no Baby’s still sleeping :(

I wonder if Mando Man has some level of Force Sensitivity

Ok random question but he’s got to take his helmet off to sleep and eat right?

I like his Ugnaught friend I hope we see more of them!

Awwwww he’s so polite, he has honor!!!!

Nooo I want him to go with Mando Man!

Aw man, I do hope we see him again

There they go!!!

Aw man Babu’s still sleeping

Mando dad’s starting to care about him aaaaaaaa

Yay he’s up!!!!

Aaaaand credits

I didn’t really watch them last time but wow the credit cards are beautiful too

Man still love dat music

A small part of me does miss the spacey end credits that we’ve gotten in all other SW content tho but oh well

So episode two!!!!  Gah this was the perfect way to give Mando Man some characterization, he’s snarky and sarcastic and he’s got honor despite being a bounty hunter and he likes kids!!!  And he seems to be a little bit lonely, ya know with the lone gunslinger lifestyle.  He’s Soft and I must protect him even if he is literally the best in the sector at what he does and I can’t fight anything.

Dangit Favreau I’m already hooked I have been seduced by Tatooine, lovely Space Australia it is, and all the Lucas animals and the adorable little Yoda baby and asdfghjklsdkfsk it’s just making me so happy!  

The fanfic bug hasn’t bitten me just quite yet (which is honestly a good thing, I’ve got waaaaaay too many WIPs planned already lol) but I’m enjoying watching it a lot and I can’t wait to see others’ fanfic too!!!!

[worshipsonlydeath]

mitchi’s self-reflection 

lol here we go. just some reflection on a really heavy year. i’m hoping that with this I’ll be able to move on and officially close this chapter in my life. if anyone’s been interested in my lack of activity and my new attitude towards bullshit

but first off... from the deepest deepest deepest fucking pit of my heart wanna thank @outlawerofbeets @rainbowguard @yngwolfrobb @handofhonor @hecantbekilled for literally listening to be sob and rant and more sobbing through the worst times. i honestly had so many moments when I was falling apart and you guys listened and helped me through so so much and I think I’ve grown into a better person, whether or not I have it’s been because of your friendships and I love you guys so so much.

open letter to the bullshit that is my life...

I kept telling myself at the beginning of each year that it couldn’t get worse. that once you survive the bad, the good will start coming. I think the hardest lesson this year was realizing that it won’t get necessarily easier because life is about challenges and hurdles and once you get over one, there’s going to be another. yes life will reach a point I believe where there will be peace in some areas and less hecticness but if I look back on my past there were always times when i couldn’t believe I made it past that but I did, i survived and i’m still here. and one day I’ll look back to myself in this time and think of course I could survive that because I’ve been surviving.

my dad trying to kill himself, my parents’ marriage falling apart and it being my responsibility to play good daughter and raise my brother, to be my mother’s friend and confident, to gratify my father’s insecurity, to handle foreign finances to keep my brother alive and deal with the fact he ran away from the other side of the world, for my friends to just.... indulge in their own drama and expect my participation to my dog fucking going from healthy one month to probably dead soon and my sexuality on top of everything with the added bonus of literal constant physical pain. there was enough bullshit in my head let alone having every aspect of my life fall beneath my feet.

But I survived this year, just like I’ve survived everything in the past.... emotional abuse, ptsd, lingering depression, anxiety, OCD... I’m still here. I’m still surviving and I’m only becoming stronger. Yes I have ups and downs but... 

as long as you keep on going strong, you’ll keep getting stronger and with that life is gonna be continuously challenging and that fucking sucks but c’est la vie.

I learned a lot about people and human nature this year. I learned that no matter what age anyone is they still struggle with the same issues and that age is not a determinant to where someone is in their own life journey. I can’t keep begging and asking for a more adult adult because there’s no such thing as a more adult adult.

my family went through a whole new level of ‘what the fuck’. multiple suicide attempts and just as the oldest child and just 19 being thrust into the role of keeping a marriage together and raise a teenager and be everyone’s rock... it’s not fair but I will never say that I’m not grateful to my parents for what they’ve given me, or appreciative or love them. But holy hell there is such a difference between loving your children and being a good parent. and as much as my parents love me and my brother, they have not been good parents. 

more than that I see my parents as so... human and insecure and the very same struggles I have, they struggle with too, if not more than I do. The need for validation... I realized that everyone has that and so many people are searching for that in others but you can’t because the only one who can validate you is yourself?

between having people reprimand me for not giving them enough? not enough when despite everything I have at home I still tried to give people my best, giving pieces of me away freely... I don’t owe anyone that. I don’t owe anyone anything except to be accountable to myself. I owe it to myself to stop seeking validation in others and keep living with an open mind and respect differences of opinion.

Too many people in this world are so so concerned with being right that they forget basic respect towards others and keeping a certain openmindedness in understanding everyone’s story is different and just because stories aren’t the same doesn’t make one more valid than other. 

treat everyone with a certain level of respect and courtesy but keep in mind if people don’t value you for you and your experiences, the good and the bad, then kindly escort them out of your life and learn from everyone around you. Recognize the good traits and the bad and learn the good and keep in mind to not do the bad.  

strive for a goal at the end of each day but if you don’t make it, learn from it but don’t beat yourself over it. open yourself up to people but don’t let them take you for granted. value yourself and validate yourself. 

for the first time ever in my life.... i’m scared of the future but not in a bad way. I’m not scared because I don’t want to live it... I’m scared because there are things I want and I know I’ll have to fight extra hard for it. Fight because I know I won’t have support from the family I ought to be able to rely on, fight not to prove to others but to prove to myself because I owe it to me to do everything I want to do or at the very least try. 

this has been the most hellish year of my life but I’ve grown up so much. and it sucks that I’ve had to because I wanted to stay a kid, I wanted more than anything to relinquish responsibility and let someone take care of me but I can’t. this is adulthood, this is life. I know now that while I can have moments of childishness, I’ll never have the luxury of being a child.

i guess I’ll just damn well better learn how to be a fucking stellar adult. 

[oneyoungexcuse]

Deep questions! All of you have time of course 😸

Here you go keen bean xx

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 50/50, I think I need to move out soon as I can though. My mum cares too much and my dad just doesn’t show it.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?Probably Wilma my cat

03: Do you regret anything?Oh where to begin

04: Are you insecure?That’s my speciality, not all things but most like especially how I look or act.

06: How do you want to die?Dramatically but peacefully? Is that even allowed?“

07: What did you last eat?Don’t judge me …bake beans with tuna mayonnaise mixed in with cheese on top.

08: Played any sports?Rugby. I like to get bashed around apparently.

09: Do you bite your nails?I never have any nails!

10: When was your last physical fight?Actually a guy tried to fight me Friday but I’m tryin to do this thing where I don’t hurt others or myself so I just threw my pint down angrily and that was it

11: Do you like someone?Mmm

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?Felt like that today

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?Nope.

14: Do you miss someone?Yep

15: Have any pets?My fat blind deaf wobbly feline 💖

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?Better and ready but still a little Blugh ya kno?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?Yeh

18: Are you scared of spiders?Bigguns yah

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Always . Anyone else sing "IIFFFF I COULD TURNNN BACK TIIMMEEEE”

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?No idea. A train station?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?Drinking. One of my friends has had to move back in with her mum so I said that she can come round mine for a bit and we can play some music stuff that she likes. Seeing friends. Going out. Sleeping. Watching the Walking dead

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?I read this as do you have kids' maybe not sure

23: Do you have piercings? How many? 3. Lip and two ears.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?Drama. Photography and surprisingly English lit…

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?My nan

26: What are you craving right now? Comfort

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?Sorry Max x

28: Have you ever been cheated on?Probs. Oh well

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?I apologise to everyone of them. I am a dick

30: What’s irritating you right now?Not being able to escape my home, lack of money and my head is still pretty sore from my dying it….whoops. I had a terrifying nightmare where I literally sat up like they do in the films. I was really enjoying my sleep too!

31: Does somebody love you?I don’t know.

32: What is your favourite color?Blue but I’m warming more to red recently

33: Do you have trust issues?Everyone does you’re lying if you say you don’t

34: Who/what was your last dream about? My nightmare was about me meeting my mum at a tube station and she suddenly got lost and I couldn’t find her. I suddenly got jumped and these guys were like tugging at me and started beating the holy hell out of me, they got my phone and made me make one last phone call to someone and basically stabbed me through my stomach and that’s when I did the sitting up panic in the night. It was FREAKKKKYYY. and then I went back to sleep and I was at a gig….the hell?

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?Bryn

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Only when they are deserved or should be given

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Easy to forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life? Dunno it’s not over yet

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 13-14

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?Yes

51: Favourite food?Pasta or roast

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?Not always, we should be allowed to chose our own destiny.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to paramore and looked out my window for a little while

54: Is cheating ever okay? Depends if that person has been treated so badly to cheat.

55: Are you mean?I can be but it doesn’t happen often.

56: How many people have you fist fought?Jesus only mosh pits

57: Do you believe in true love?Yeh

58: Favourite weather?Warminsh during the day but in the evenings when it snuggle down time rainy and cold with duvets

59: Do you like the snow?It’s alright.

60: Do you wanna get married?I dunno, maybe,

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?Mmhmmm

62: What makes you happy?Lots of things. Music, people, places, gigs, carrot cake, lions, driving around with music blaring out, cosy tracksuit bottoms, films, cooking, sex and adventures.

63: Would you change your name?If I had to? Something unisex

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? The last thing I kissed was the cat, that was only difficult because she was stinky. But person, I wouldn’t say it would be hard. Not sure.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Gotta fanny packed down there? Otherwise soz bro

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Yessss, a few actually

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?My dad, he texted me. They bastard never texts !

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sam I think. Or The uber driver on the way back on Friday

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Not sure.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?A good few defiantly