#and we KNOW i love xander. that is my guy. that is my terrible man

[jennycalendar]

some of the reviews i get on north star that make me a little :/ about this fandom in general (never towards the reviewers tho!) are "wow, this is such a wonderful fic! it's been a while since i've seen a fic that actually tries to treat every character with love, humanity, and understanding" and i'm like I MEAN THANKS BUT I WOULD PREFER NOT TO BE THE ONLY FIC WRITER CURRENTLY DOING THIS?

[wolfstrong]

Buffy season 1 reflection!!!!!!!!!

My feelings on Buffy so far are very complicated because I find it crazy entertaining but there are so many things in the show that I just KNOW are terrible. I really enjoy the character dynamics its probably my favorite thing about the show. I find it endlessly funny that Giles has to hang out with a group of teenagers, and (when xander isn't making it weird) the main group is super cute and funny together. Also really like the setting, highschool shenanigans are always fun and idk it just seems like it would have been very cool to be a teen in the 90s. Also I like monster of the week stuff with a more overarching plot, you can kind of just enjoy things as they come and have the security that it's pretty much always gonna be resolved by the end of the episode. FOR WHAT I DONT LIKE. well "Buffy Speak" is annoying. like I'm getting more used to it and even able to find it charming at some points but BOY when i started the show it was almost making it unwatchable. i can see myself liking it by the end of the series but for now lets just be a little annoyed with it. Other thing that really gets me is the buffy/xander/willow love... line? idk i think i could stand it if xander didn't pine over buffy and wasn't weird to girls because he's very weird to girls. Somehow buffy manages to be like girlboss feminism win while also being the most sexist show every created. and maybe that was just like the era but yeah i don't enjoy watching male characters I'm supposed to like perv out over women.

Character Thoughts

Buffy- shes so awesome like honestly!! i like that she lives this very bad ass life and like we the viewer know how cool she is because we see her do all these bad ass things, but to the rest of the school shes just kinda like this weirdo kid who hangs out in the library. it kind of makes her an honorary fail girl in my opinion. And just her whole attitude of wanting to be a normal teenage girl so when it comes time to slay monsters shes like "ugh. guess its monster slaying time! whatever!" and acts bad ass as hell but doesn't really care. also its just awesome that she is physically super strong. like she will just randomly be punching through walls and doing sick backflips. ugh i love it

Giles- I. LOVE. GILES. im a Giles fangirl all the way like what else is there even to say about it. When he comes on screen I'm just like instantly smiling. funniest character ever invented. And again i just love that he has to hang out with teenagers all the time and sometimes they just like bully him for being old and lame and into books and he's constantly getting beat up and thrown around. yeah i don't even have much to say he's just awesome

Willow - Literally the blueprints for dorky nerdy girls everywhere like what else is there to say. we all know she is literally BEYOND iconic. Shes so cute and smart and charming and like honestly its like. how many girl in media really DO get to just be dorky like its pretty rare i feel like that's why its like. she was the blueprint man.

Xander - ... yes my complicated feelings yes yes. he's soooooo annoying and fail but... you know i like when guys are fail guys.. BUT HES ALMOST TOO FAIL. of course like i already said i hate the way he acts to women and when buffy rejected him and he acted super pissy and like "ugh whatever you only don't like me because you like that chad Angel ugh nice guys always finish last" I literally wanted him dead. so beyond cringe with that kind of behavior. BUT when he's like being sweet and goofy then I'm like.. aw hi funny guy from the 90s lol! and i do think his relationship with willow CAN be super cute cuz idk i just like the whole childhood friends vibe and i like that they have a relationship outside of their time with buffy and its nice to get little glimpses of them together just being buddies. I think the whole situation would be 100% better if xander was pining for willow instead of Buffy and willow was the oblivious one. I am not against their relationship at all i just hate to see willow be the one pinning for him cuz its like girl. you can literally do better okay. you are awesome. whatever. sorry for being a halfway Xander apologist

Cordelia- literal girlboss. every time shes on the screen its a treat. I just love the vibe where she is like?? friends with the main characters kind of? but also just bullies the shit out of them and is so mean in every interaction. see the thing is if they were't friends at all she just wouldn't talk to them or they wouldn't talk to her. but they always end up talking so there is obviously some kind of relationship there. but its just like one where she calls them losers and they are like "alright. well see you next week cordelia" If you are a hater and think shes mean get out of my face shes literally awesome and funny. also in the final when she drove her car thought the school doors... SO . GIRLBOSS. i am very excited to see where her character goes cuz i got the feeling at some point shes gonna turn into some kinda supernatural monster. i just feel it.

Angel - eh lowkey who cares. I am never one to be interested in the mysterious brooding guys its just not my thing. He reminds me of Edward from twilight both in face and attitude and because he's a vampire of course lol

Episodes

Honestly they were all kind of of equal quality. Nothing was so horrible I couldn't stand it they were all just good. One that kind of stood out as a favorite was "I robot, you jane", it was nice to have something more willow focused and it was very funny to see what people thought of the internet back then. Willow kind of online dating a guy was enough to make everyone freak the fuck out. And i really really love the way the demon robot looked. the idea of a demon existing on the web was just a cool idea in general. idk just a cool way of combining the supernatural with tech stuff

idk just look at this guy and tell me this isn't awesome

.... okay then... see yall in season 2!!!

[51kas81]

Into every generation, a bae is born. He alone will wield the strength and skill to give thirst, heart flutters, and light to moderate panting; to stop the spread of parchedness and induce the swell of, well, you know (*points downward*). He is the Ripper.

It's time to face very real facts: Every man on Buffy the Vampire Slayer was toxic trash. Every single male figure who enters Buffy Summers' life is some varying degree of assclown, demon, robot, a fish that one time, and/or general garbage, the whole lot of them. Her father was a deadbeat douche, Angel got a mean case of the post-coital evils, all her human boyfriends were complete d*cks, don't even get me started on Spike, and Xander Harris, one of her best friends in the whole world was a "nice guy" whiny entitled twat baby and probably the worst man in the entire series, which is a very, very high bar, because again, and I cannot overstate this, every man on that show was a trashfire.

Every man, that is, except for one perfect shining beacon of bae: Rupert Giles. 

When we meet Rupert Edmund "Ripper" Giles, played by Anthony Stewart Head, he is every bit the blessed English librarian type he appears to be. He loves books and history and cleaning his glasses (so that he doesn't have to see the f*ckeries of his charges). He is a hot nerd, but a respectful hot nerd who takes his calling as both Watcher and father figure, friend and mentor very seriously. He genuinely loves Buffy and her friends, even his adopted demon bathtub son Randy, and risks life and limb for them and all of humanity on a regular basis. He is good. He is hot. He is Giles.

But along the way, we learn he is also Ripper. Hot library glasses man would have been fine enough, but add in reformed bad boy Oxford dropout? Holy cats. He can hotwire a car, for heaven's sake — who knows what he could hotwire on you? And it's not merely relegated to backstory. We got one precious dip into the teen Ripper pool that time he and the other Sunnydale adults ate chocolate bars that turned them into horny teenagers. Honestly, we're so thankful that Joyce got a chance to take a trip to band candy poundtown before her untimely demise. We all die, but how many of us truly live?

Also? Also? He sings. And plays guitar. 

Even the lesbians are like YES PLEASE. Xander is unmoved because, again, Xander is terrible.

It's not all leather, tweed, and band candy though. Throughout the series, we see Giles experience unbearable pain and torment. The devastation of Season 2's "Passion" gave us a new side to Giles, one where his killer instincts seep out — his kindness and gentle demeanor cracking to show the seething, bubbling rage just beneath.

And, sh*t. It was super hot.

I am often reminded of a line from my favorite movie, Say Anything. "The world is full of guys. Be a man." I say the world is full of Xanders, Spikes, Rileys, and Parkers. Be a Giles.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are the author's, and do not necessarily reflect those of SYFY WIRE, SYFY, or NBC Universal.

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

Everyone’s hooking up ‘cause why not

And so we’re back! Sorry I wasn’t blogging last week, but I was on a trip and I didn’t have the time to watch an episode and blog.

With Faith in charge, and Buffy squatting in some poor man’s house, the Potentials and Scoobies spend a lot of time arguing about how they’re going to decide what they’re going to do. After about two scenes of this, Faith decides they’re going to capture a Bringer, one of First’s cultists, and interrogate him. They end up using some kind of magic to make him talk, and with the information that Andrew and Spike come back with they work out that Caleb and the Bringers are getting ready for war, and that they’re doing it somewhere underground, so they plan to find a place with enough space underground to house them and attack it.

Spike and Andrew, when they get back, by the way, find Buffy gone. Spike doesn’t take this well (he chews out everyone) and goes out to look for her. He finds her and gives her a speech that reminds her that she’s Awesome (and also that he’s in love with her).

Also the First tries to mess with Faith, appearing as the evil mayor from season three!

There’s also this bit where everyone has sex? I mean Willow and Kennedy do it, Anya and Xander do it, Faith and Principal Wood do it, though Buffy and Spike don’t. She asks Spike to hold her through the night, and that’s all they do.

The next day they both lead their attacks--Buffy against Caleb in the vineyard again, and Faith and the Potentials go to the Bringers’ lair. Both are successful, sort of--Buffy beats Caleb and finds a shiny new weapon. Faith and company, on the other hand, get ambushed but pull through it just fine. Only for Faith to open a box and find, uh, a bomb with a timer. She tells the Potentials to get out, and that’s where the episode ends.

Notes!

-They admit that they have no idea what they’re doing the second after Buffy’s been kicked out. And yeah, that’s often how these things go, but it’s not a great sign.

-Alright I get where you’re coming from and things are desperate, but kicking a guy out of his own house is pretty messed up Buffy.

-Has seriously everyone else left Sunnydale?

-They decide to make Faith leader but don’t really want to listen to her to begin with--her idea of kidnapping a Bringer for information isn’t a bad one.

-I had forgotten that of course Spike had to wait on the sun to go down to travel back to Sunnydale.

-Spike calling them all out on turning on Buffy--that’s fantastic. It’s great. But I don’t think we needed to go through the mutiny in order to get to that great moment.

-They don’t even know where Buffy went--there’s an apocalypse going on, they turned on her and kicked her out, and they don’t know or care where she went. They did this terribly.

-I was thinking about the evil mayor the other day, but I didn’t expect the First to pop up as him again. I’m glad he did though, because he was a fantastic character and his actor did a fantastic job portraying him.

-I’m sure that the Spuffy shippers went crazy for the scene where the two of them talk in this episode, and also she asked Spike to hold her while she slept. I’m not a huge fan of the relationship, especially when I remember that Spike tried to rape her? And yeah he has a soul now, so it’s not the same thing as in a mundane situation, but I’m not… hm. Don’t quite like that.

-They are the couple in this episode that does not have sex though.

-Buffy also accuses Spike of only being interested in her because she’s “unattainable” and he takes issue with that.

-Wood and Faith fonduing in Buffy’s bed is going to be a fun little thing that requires brain bleach whenever Buffy gets back, I think.

-That everyone’s having sex makes me think someone, or more than one someone, is going to die horribly in the final two episodes.

-Giles has kind of been a pain this season? Spike calling him out felt good. I know I said that already but it bears repeating. 

-I get wanting to give Willow another love interest, but after all the buildup and development with Oz and Tara, Kennedy is not that much of an interesting or well-developed relationship. It’s big shoes to fill. And not all relationships need to be deep, I guess, but also Kennedy’s not that likable? I get the impression from TV Tropes that the fanbase hated her; I don’t, but I don’t like her much either.

-Buffy dodging Caleb’s first blow has a lot of Matrix vibes. But the idea that you have to let him wear himself out and dodge his attacks is a good way to approach him, rather than letting him whale on you, which is how Buffy has approached the last couple of fights.

-That is one sweet axe that Buffy finds. Is that the thing Caleb is so mad isn’t meant for him?

-Of course we end with a bomb cliffhanger. Like, an actual bomb about to explode in Faith’s face when she’s with the Potentials.

-On a reply to one of my last posts someone mentioned that Nathan Fillion was given this role after Firefly was cancelled, and that’s why he comes right the fudge out of nowhere with very little explanation. And that… makes an awful lot of sense. If there was a Caleb-figure to be the First’s right-hand man, he absolutely should have been mentioned before now.

[inkandpen22]

Beautiful Angel of Darkness (3/?)

Pairing: Spike x Female!Reader 

Warning: mild violence (basically nothing), mentions of smut 

Word Count: 1.2k

Part Summary: Buffy discovers that Y/N is a vampire. The discovery scares the Scoobies which is exactly what Y/N was hoping for. After they return to the crypt, Spike reveals something to her. 

A/N: The scene from gif between Dru and Spike inspired a portion of this part because that bit in the show is just so iconic! I mean... look at him! Haha 

Masterlist

“You’re a vampire!” Buffy gasps, her eyes tighten as if she’s seen a ghost. 

“Oh way to go Slayer! Ten points Gryffindor!” I tease, unable to withhold my laughter. 

She clenches her jaw. “Did Spike do this to you?” 

“No, it was Count von Count from Sesame Street,” I sass. “Um yeah, duh! For being older you’re not exactly wiser.” 

Her brows scrunch together, my words visibly capturing her attention. “How old you are you?” 

“Again, where are your manners?! Don’t you know you never ask a woman her age!” I remind her a matter-of-factly. 

“Can we stop with the chitter-chatter? I’m getting thirsty,” Spike groans from the sidelines. 

I tilt my head to the side with a pout. “Do we eat her?” 

“As if,” the Slayer grumbles. Then, she kicks me aggressively in the stomach, causing me to fly back into the far brick building. 

I fall to the pavement with a smack. It takes a minute for me to process what just happened. Then, I grow fucking pissed! I hop up to my feet and check my clothes. A massive black boot mark on my brand new shirt! Now on her feet, Buffy catches her breath. 

I scoff, stretching out my shirt to show her. “This is fucking new you bitch!” A growl forms deep in my chest as I see nothing but red. I march over to the Slayer and she squares up to fight. 

“Buffy!” An annoying high-pitch voice squeals. That must be Willow. 

Sure enough, Buffy’s Scoobie gang jocks out of the club to assist her. 

“Stay back guys! She isn’t human like we thought!” She warns. 

“No, she’s not,” I point, pretending to feel really bad about it. 

Spike appears beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist with a cheeky grin. I reach up and place a quick peck to his cheek. 

“You turned her, Spike!” Xander shouts, apparently rather crossed about the whole thing. 

“Can you blame a man?” He defense, peering down at me with longing eyes. 

I bite down at my lip as my eyes linger on his cherry red ones. Spike’s hand slips down my waist and he gives my ass a nice squeeze. If we weren’t in the presence of such terrible company, I would take him right here. 

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Xander grumbles to his friends. 

Spike and I turn our attention to the group, our cheeks against each other as we smile. How could mere humans ever understand what Spike and I have? We’re far too complex for their simple minds. It’s all encompassing and it replaces our souls. Spike is my reason for existing and I’m his in return. 

Spike caresses my cheek and places a gentle kiss to my temple. “Should we go, Love? I think we’ve over stayed our welcome.” 

I brush my hand against his jawline, starring into his compelling eyes with a mischivious grin. “Anything you wish, Darling.” 

He growls, a wicked grin appearing on his lips and I can feel the vibration from his chest. “You know I love it when you talk like that.” 

I snicker, eager to get back to the crypt and experience everything has to offer. I can never get enough of him. He’s the greatest addiction in the world that never be satisfied. 

___________________________________________________

Spike and I lay in bed, catching our breath from our many rounds of amazing fucking after we got back from The Bronze. The silk red sheet barely covers us from the outside world. As I relax with my head on my crisscrossed arms beside him, Spike props himself up on his arm and faces me. He leans down, placing a gentle kiss to my shoulder blade. Gently, he begins to trace random shapes on my back. 

“Let’s play a game, Love,” he suggests. 

I smile, “okay.” 

“I will write out words on your perfect skin,” he explains slowly, planting another kiss to my spin. “And you will guess what it is.” He adds, placing a kiss to my waist. 

I giggle, “okay.” 

Spike starts tracing letters onto my back and I do my best to focus. I also cheat by using my knowledge of Spike to make an educated guess. 

“Moon,” I guess. 

“Excellent,” he compliments. “That earns you a kiss.” 

He leans down and reach up to meet his lips halfway. He smiles into the kiss and I can’t help but mirror the reaction. We part and he continues on with the next word once I’m laying down again. 

I hum, I have two thoughts. “Blood,” I guess, biting my lip nervously. 

“So smart,” he leans down and plants a kiss to my lips. 

“Thank you,” I say against his lips. “I try.” 

We part and I rest my head back down on my arms. Spike lingers for a moment to think of a word as he taps his finger against his lips. When one pops into his head, his finger starts to glide across my skin. Oh, this is a long one. 

I try to focus on the movement of his finger so I don’t miss any lines. “Could you do it again?” 

He complies and repeats the lines. I press my lips together, starring absentmindedly at the far wall. I’m not sure how many words start with ‘I’. 

Infringe 

Ingenious 

Inimical 

But it’s an IL word. 

I hum, struggling to figure it out. Spike snicker beside me, enjoying my struggle. I playfully swat the arm that keeps him up, which only makes him laugh harder at my expense.

“Okay, one more time,” he so kindly does it again. 

I huff, growing slightly frustrated that I’m missing it and losing my streak. An IL word, how hard can it be? 

“Is it a phrase?” I question aggresively. It’s the one solution. 

He hums, a mischivious smirk appearing on his lips. 

To help me figure it out, I begin to name the letters out loud. 

“I, L, O, V...” I stop saying them, but Spike continues writing out the letters. 

Slowly, I turn onto my side and Spike’s hand slides to my waist. A faint smile remains on his lips as he brings his fingers to my temple and brushes my hair back. His eyes search my face with such admiration. 

“I love you,” he reveals quietly between us. 

A breathless laugh escapes my lips as I leap to wrap my arms around him. He falls onto the bed with laughter. I climb on top of him, utterly exploding with happiness. “You love me?!” 

He snickers, amused by my reaction. “Don’t believe me?” He sits up, resting against the headboard and grips my waist. “Yes, Y/N, I love you! I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you!” 

I cup his face, pressing my lips to his. I can’t help but smile against the kiss. I want to make this moment last forever. I break away, realizing I haven’t said it back yet. 

“Oh! I love you too! I love you so much!” I rush out. 

He smiles brightly, “I was hoping you would.” 

His hand wraps around the back of my neck and he brings me in for a gentle kiss. I’ve fallen under his spell, he’s utterly immaculate. Every moment with him is magical. I want to make up for every minute we spent apart before we met. As long as Spike’s mine, nothing bad can ever happen to us. 

We rest our foreheads against one another, starring each other’s eyes. 

“From now until forever,” he promises me. 

“Forever,” I repeat the vow, meaning it wholeheartedly. 

God, I love him so much. My entire world is him. He’s the sun, the moon, everything. I will love him for eternity. 

___________________________________

Masterlist 

Tags: @currently-obsesed-with-spike​ @mx-pibbles​ @shy-ginger-in-the-graveyard​

[ifeveristoday]

I got out my DVDs for this rewatch (that’s not actually a big deal. I only have season 3 on DVD. 😂) so let’s get to it.

I forgot they did a cold open for this episode!

I know it’s for ambiance but man does Angel have a lot of candles displayed. Probably too ‘mainstream’ for his taste but the thought of Angel furtively going to a Bath and Bodyworks in the mall during their semi-annual sale and just buying out their whole candle selection gives me the purest joy. Let’s be real though, Angel would shop at some boutique/hole in the wall owned by a wizened old character with a twinkle in their eye and everything marked up 20%. Or it would be a steel and glass monstrosity with a collection labeled Candles for Men. That’s the range.

Back to the enormous fire hazard that this scene is -

Wait. Does fire burn on stone?

Shout out to the stunt doubles.

I think that Angel getting food for Buffy for a sort of alfresco picnic while training is really sweet, actually. Also, can't miss the opportunity for both carbs and phallic symbolism ala bread.

Everyone is so embarrassingly horny in this moment. I'd say get a room except they're in a whole giant mansion.

Always remember the bread! What did Angel do with the food after Buffy fled? Fed the no-doubt cursed pigeons that live in Sunnydale.

Thanks for the workout (insert stereotypical dirty laugh).

Oh yes, the awkward 'let's talk about your birthday without mentioning the last birthday you had at all because it's horrifying' chitchat. God, the anxiety Angel is radiating here and Buffy trying to smooth it over. You can't unfrost that trauma cake!

Angel, you utter dork. You're lucky Buffy finds you pretty. Very powerful himbo energy here. And it's nice to see some light-hearted flirting/banter between them.

How do you know when someone's aura's dirty? Buffy is only asking the reasonable questions everyone has.

Do you hear yourself, Giles. "I'm aware of your distaste in studying vibratory stones..." I can't imagine what that section of the Slayer handbook looks like. Are there pull-out charts?

Faith being conveniently gone for this episode. Boo, hiss.

That workout really did a number on Buffy. I see what you're doing with those crystals.

One of the sad parts of rewatching Buffy is that you just don't have the first time discovery feels of watching it - that magic is gone, but even though I know why Buffy's wobbling in her fight, the reveal is still upsetting. Thinking about how in Season 5, when she does get staked, just as she's questioning her powers - and here, where she's losing them.

Also, obvious observation is obvious - the sexual violence imagery is really, really blatant here - with the vampire crouched over her with the stake aimed toward her heart, just as she playfully staked Angel earlier in a more romantically set scene.

AND THEN THE THEME KICKS IN. Like, damn! Three minutes and you can pretty much tell what the plot is going to be - Buffy and Angel's UST is getting out of hand, Buffy's lone Rangering it, and something is wrong with her. And it's her birthday.

And Buffy's resourcefulness saves the day.

Perhaps you shouldn't be throwing knives in the library, Buffy.

Did they do a geography lesson on Cuernavaca? It's also just fun to say. Like La Cienega. Brief moment to ponder yet again about a show set in Southern California, actually shot in Southern California, with the huge Latine population we have and the Spanish-influenced names and culture and - getting sidetracked by all this casual 90s racism.

"We do it every year for my birthday," except your seventeenth, presumably because of the murderous ex-boyfriend stalking the town you live in and all your loved ones. [Or, he did take her and it was not shown on screen!] Sometimes I wonder if the continuity editors just go, you know, I'm going to let this one go for the 'emotion' and not just so years later, a Virgo with a deep-seated need to obsess over throwaway details will go into a thought spiral to make it make sense.

I think this is also the last time Hank Summers was spoken of with any real affection because then he was Deadbeat Dad for the remainder of the show. Oh, look. The Scoobies are surprised about the traditional birthday ice show that I'm going to nitpick about forever.

Oz is so supportive, and then the clunker of a 'deep' line of ice being cool because it's water then it's not. I do like the Whedonesque school of dialogue, but sometimes you gotta reel it back. I remember the dialogue on Dawson's Creek was getting pinged for the teenagers talking like grad students.

Quiet reflection. Oh you poor girl, you have no idea.

Quarterly projections - is a convincing filler phrase for when you don't need to know what the job is, because it's boring but sounds vaguely official. What does Hank actually do? Who cares! He's an asshole.

Sunnydale Arms, because of course, Sunnydale has a broken down abandoned murder hotel.

Quentin Travers. Boo. Hiss.

The scary music is very scary. Also one of the Council flunkies looks like a very young Vincent D'Onofrio.

This scene with them in the library is so bittersweet because Buffy is fishing for Giles's attention as a father figure substitute ("very sophisticated people go!" breaks my heart) and he pointedly is rejecting this for training talk.

Look for the flaw at its center. THE FLAW IS YOU GILES. YOU YOU YOU.

it's just so terrible, this scene because of how methodical and clinical it plays out. And Buffy is just not there, and then Giles smiles like nothing has happened.

Buffy makes it through another night - next day (another reason why this trial is so horrifying is that it takes place over several days - it's not on Buffy's birthday but leading up to it, so the idea of her getting weaker and weaker and unable to fight to make it to 18 in the first place) and it's time for the Cordelia has had enough of toxic masculinity scene!

Also, Willow blithely ignoring a person's feelings and treating Amy as just a rat is played for laughs and cuteness, but yeah...you can't treat people like puppets or rats [law and order sound]

I love Cordelia's coat. And also, while it does suck that she stood him up, he's not entitled to her time or attention and certainly not to threaten her. Go, Cordy! Fight like a girl! Yes! Pummel him into the hallway.

I also love Willow's outfit here because I think the colors are so complementary and warm and it's a cute outfit. Okay, the knit wooly hat is a bit too Blossom-esque, but whatever.

Buffy is tiny, we all know this, but I do think they purposefully dressed her in larger than her size coats in this episode to make her look even more tiny and vulnerable.

Giles is TOO BLASE for this scene also shut your mouth about throwing knives like a girl

"It's an archaic exercise in cruelty." SO WHY DID YOU GO ALONG WITH IT, BRAIN TRUST. (I am going to be very mean to Giles this whole rewatch, deal with it.)

"But I'm the one in the thick of it." No, you're not. You are going to be adjacent to it, at best.

Hey it's that guy!

Okay, in better lighting, flunkie does not look like Vincent D'Onofrio.

It's impossible to pin down one type of Vampire in the Whedonverse, except for the delineation between Grunt Bait Vampires, and Special Guest Star/Master vampires, but Kralik is the only other example of a vampire with mental illness besides Drusilla, yet he's medicated. Makes me wonder how exactly they got Kralik...he was a monster before he was a vampire, but who vamped him? I don't put it past the Watchers to have vampires created for this purpose.

Curse against lawyers!

Xander and Oz bonding over comic books is so fun. I regret they didn't really get closer until after Xander and Willow cheated because Oz was the one male friend Xander had.

They mentioned her birthday! Thinking about Buffy's love of poetry later on, this is a nice little detail, and it *is* a thoughtful, sweet gift. Also those poems: horny. Oh yes, maybe in a restrained way, but Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew what was up.

The Buffy and Angel relationship in season three is full of these starts and stops that I can see why and agree with others about how it's frustrating on a number of levels. They know why they can't be together, but they still try to find a common ground because they want to need the other one. They still have their identities to figure out - Buffy as the slayer and a young adult, Angel as a person, separate from Buffy and being Buffy's ex sort of maybe.

But this conversation in Helpless is genuinely sweet and a glimpse at what a normal couple at the crossroads would talk about - I think I'm also being soft on this because the other Important Male Figure in Buffy's life in this episode lets her down so spectacularly bad, that Angel being supportive and kind in his awkward way is a nice respite. It's good to be away from the angst and the horror that their relationship has had.

And the self-aware puncturing of the Moment between them is something Buffy does very well. "Taken literally, incredibly gross - I was just thinking that too". Look, it's cute and soft and I will allow it.

The horror of this episode (and there are so many) is that we have to watch Buffy become the helpless blonde in a slasher flick who is being chased by the monsters and she can't do anything about it - that she has to be rescued or die. That the real world with men catcalling and bystanders who ignore women's cries of distress is far scarier than the literal demons that inhabit the town - and Buffy brokenly saying she can't just be a person, she can't be helpless like that [like women are, still, today] is a gut punch. It's uncomfortable and unhappy because Buffy is supposed to be the hero, the [sigh] strong female lead who can kick ass and take names, and this episode is all about finding who Buffy is, separate from her super powers. Also an exercise in emotional torture, but must be Tuesday.

The physicality - the weakness that both Buffy and Giles display in this scene is so, so good. The way Buffy's hand trembles toward the needle in the case and the dawning realization of what Giles has done, has chosen to do - and he bloodlessly tells her what the Cruciamentum is.

Her tiny little "Liar."

GOD WHY DIDN'T SHE GET AN EMMY (rhetorical we all know genre tv only matters if it was Game of Rapey Thrones)

"You will be safe now, I promise you." LIAR.

Another puncturing a heavy moment - Cordelia as cavalry - I love it. Cordelia taking the most obvious approach to the situation - 'oh Buffy might have lost her memory, well he's Giles,'

I can't believe they robbed us of a conversation in the car scene with Cordy and Buffy.

Kralik had to have found a polaroid camera and a metallic sharpie for this whole scenario -- OH I KNOW WHO HE REMINDS ME OF. The Night Stalker and any number of serial killers that terrorized SoCal. Is the show being self-aware of the problem with mothers and parents in general?

Probably a glib accident.

I don't have much to say about the part where Buffy hunts Kralik because it's so masterfully done with the atmosphere and music.

Nice of Giles's backbone to enter the chat now.

This is not business. Ooo.

Buffy's "I thought I killed a man" emo overalls!

Like it's shadowy, but there's still enough light to see facial expressions. Lighting guy, I salute you.

Little red riding hood metaphor. Oh, that's so her stunt double.

CREEPY SEXUAL VIOLENCE REARS ITS DEFORMED HEAD AGAIN

Jump stair scare. I remember the first time I saw it, I jolted in the living room.

Serial Killer Shit. Why are vampires such drama queens?

THAT'S RIGHT, BUFFY DID THAT

The ending scene in the library is cathartic in that Buffy gets to stand up for herself finally, and recognizes what Giles gives up by helping her, delayed as it was, also there's the feeling of hate punching Quentin Travers via your eyes.

Still don't think she should have forgiven Giles so easily, but we don't get to see a lot of aftercare for Buffy when she gets hurt, and it is a very tender scene.

The Scoobies are being way too upbeat if they knew about the fact that Giles poisoned Buffy, which is why I'm assuming she told a very abbreviated version of events ending with Buffy killed the bad guy and Giles got fired, oops.

Xander's big strong man comment and then looking immediately to Willow to open the jar and not Oz...

I could watch this episode again with episode commentary from David Fury, but another day.

[more-miserables]

A Knock At the Door

Hey y’all. It’s @cubeswhump . Don’t blame April for this terrible title.

So yeah. This is a collab with me, @cubeswhump . Second collab in this series. This is a collaborative thing that is 99% self indulgence but the collab was planned from the start and will make sense plot-wise, I actually was like “April I have an idea make a whump blog” and here we are.

Tag list: @albino-whumpee @liliability

Warning for institutionalized slavery, aftermath of abuse, descriptions of wounds and infections, medical stuff.

Time seemed to slow as Jamie went up to the door, but somehow she still moved much too fast.

"Oh! Andrew, right? David's kid?" Jamie talked much too casually, letting the broad-shouldered man come in. He was a few years older than herself, wearing a green knit sweater over plaid pajamas with his black hair in a lopsided bun like he'd just rolled out of bed.

"No, it's-"

"Oh yeah, you use some unusual name,  right? I remember the press getting mad and comparing you to that celebrity kid named after a fruit. Hold on, I'll get it."

He turned to Yates, smiling widely. It almost looked friendly. "Hi! I'm Andromeda. You can call me Andy if you prefer." 

"Oh, Andromeda! I was gonna guess Milky Way," Jamie snorted, and went ignored.

Yates automatically knelt down and pressed his head to the floor. “I shall wake my partner, sir, and then we can accompany you.”

Andromeda knelt down too. "Look, we're on the same level now. But that can't feel nice on your forehead, can it?" 

Yates glanced up at him, feeling like his brain just short-circuited. How was he meant to react to this? They’d never taught him what to do when someone superior goes down to your level. “Um… No?” It came out like a question. 

Andromeda pressed his forehead to the floor. "Hm. No, this doesn't feel too good. What do you think we should do instead?"

“Maybe you should stand up..? If that’s what you’d prefer, sir.” This was weird. Yates felt like he was flying blind. 

"Just me, or both of us?"

“Am I allowed to stand?”

"Well, do you want to?"

This was really stressful. What was the right answer?! “I don’t know,” Yates whispered, suddenly near tears. 

"It's okay, it's okay! How about we both stand up? Oh, I think I've made a bad first impression."

Yates stood obediently, blinking back the tears. “I’m sorry, sir. It’s been… difficult for the past few days.”

Andromeda stood too, just about towering over Yates, but that wasn't unusual. "That's okay, you're allowed to be upset. I'm sorry I made you upset. But how about we don't worry right now? I have the heater on in the car and we'll have your friend's hand looked over at the house, okay?

“Okay.” Yates dashed off to coax Ginger awake, glad to escape. Andromeda was weird and confusing; nobody ever asked Yates what he wanted. He didn’t know how to answer. 

Ginger was less polite when he staggered into the hall on Yates’s arm, not bothering to bow. He nodded to Jamie, then did a double take when he clocked her bare face, makeup scrubbed away. “Oh my God, your eyebrows are gone.”

Jamie rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut your gob. Like you lucked out in the eyebrow department, red." 

Ginger smiled a little. It was nice to have playful banter instead of hostile bullying. “Thanks for helping us,” he said, quieter now. “We owe you one.”

"Nah, no debts with me," she said, waving her hand dismissively. Andromeda hovered, watching Ginger as if he expected him to fall over. 

Ginger nodded at him, looking wary. “Hello.”

"Hello! I'm Andromeda."

Ginger just nodded again. He clung to Yates, partly protectively and partly because he really was struggling to stand. He was white as a ghost and shaking, but he tried to look fierce. 

"I have my car out front," Andromeda went on as he walked. "Would you both be all right going for the ride?"

“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Ginger said. “To take us to a safe place.”

"Well, yes."

He hesitated for a second and looked at Jamie. “You’re sure this is that David’s son?”

"Yep," she said. "Adopted. Maybe fostered? I dunno."

“Okay. Thanks again.”

“Keep in touch,” Yates added. She gave a thumbs up. 

"Thank you for all your help, Jamie," Andromeda said as they walked out. 

The car in the formerly empty drive was a smaller one, pale blue and shimmering in the dim streetlight. The two runaways couldn't even guess the make,  or know if it was expensive or not. Andromeda opened the back door, and there was a blanket draped across the seat and more folded ones (knitted wool, soft fuzz, none if the scratchy material like in their bedroom at Stanley's or the thin sheets at the facility).

"Feel free to use the blankets, any of them, if you get cold."

There was another man in the passenger’s seat too; they could see a silhouette of smooth, dark hair and then big, curious eyes as the person turned to stare at them. Ginger pulled Yates close and cocooned them both in a blanket, shivering. Those bright eyes staring at them were eerie, though they didn’t show hostility. 

"Hi Harley! These are our new friends," Andromeda enthused as he got into the driver's seat. 

“Hi,” Harley said quietly, still staring. “Two ones. Like Xander and Jay?”

"A bit, but Jay wasn't a… he wasn't made to be a pet," Andromeda explained. "These two both were, but I think they're very good friends like Xander and Jay."

Ginger and Yates watched this new boy warily. He just smiled in a docile way, fiddling with a strand of his black hair. “Pair.”

"Mhm. They're friends like you and Crow too." 

“Is Crow a person or an animal?” Ginger muttered. 

“He people!” Harley giggled. His voice was lively, but slow and deliberate, like it took him longer to select and vocalise the right words. Andromeda smiled a bit, but when he went to adjust the rearview mirror he seemed to look at the two in the backseat for a split second.  

“I figured as much,” Ginger said. “I didn’t think you could buy real crows.” He didn’t care how Harley spoke. It was just nice to be smiled at for once. 

"Some people in our house picked their own names," Andromeda explained. "I think Crow likes the wild birds he sees out his window, though we do have some chickens too."

Ginger nodded like that made perfect sense. “Maybe I could be an animal name…”

"Maybe! No rush on it though. I think rest should be priority the next few days. Speaking of, this is a long drive. Do you want to sleep?" 

“You really should sleep,” Yates whispered to Ginger. “You’re poorly.”

“I’ve only just woken up. You’re the one who should sleep.”

Harley didn’t speak to them directly, but he very softly started singing lullabies, mixing up the words, sometimes jumbling several together, but the tunes were soothing. In the end Yates and Ginger both slept, and Harley smiled triumphantly. He hoped he’d been helpful. 

Andromeda laughed a snorting cackle that made him sound ten years younger. "Good job, Harley. 

****

The sun was shining bright. 

No one touched him, but Yates jumped like he'd been slapped awake. It was only Andromeda standing two feet away from the open car door going, "Hey guys, we're here."

Ginger was harder to rouse, and Yates had to shake him. His hair was plastered to his face with sweat where he’d leaned on Yates and he was very pale. Yates hoped he wasn’t going to vomit again. It wouldn’t be the best first impression. 

Andromeda was ready with an unopened water bottle, handing it to them. He started talking while Yates helped Ginger drink, wringing his hands and looking up toward the sky thoughtfully. 

"So um, we tend to give shelter to runaways that will need a bit more support. A lot of Romantics will fall under that category. So we have some Romantics staying here, but everyone is friendly and no one will bother you."

Yates bit his lip, glancing at Ginger nervously. Now Stanley was gone, Yates had shifted to taking orders from Ginger instead, though Ginger told him not to. Yates knew they'd been taught not to trust Romantics. He didn’t want to be outright rude to anybody, but they weren’t really supposed to speak to them either. 

Ginger shrugged indifferently. He was far too miserable to care about decorum and rules now. Yates mirrored the shrug, but he still looked worried. 

"A woman named Tina will want to have a look at you both if you'll come inside," Andromeda went on. "She has some medical education under her belt, and she helps me run the house. It seems David's here." Yates followed his dark eyes over to a very shiny blue car. "I asked him not… He'll be inside, but I think we should see Tina before we talk to him." 

“Is Tina… Does she have access to proper medication, sir?” Yates asked shakily. 

"She can tell us if the materials she has on hand are enough to treat it. If not, we have a doctor who treats our residents and would never tell." He looked to Harley. "Remember Doctor Miller?"

Harley nodded. “She nice. Kind. Tell jokes and blow up plastic gloves.”

Andromeda nodded. He didn't say anything more to Yates and Ginger, no questions or commands.

“Um… can we come inside please, sir?” Yates asked. 

"Of course! Come on."

Yates helped Ginger stagger over the threshold. A plumpish woman with short blue hair and a nose ring came down the stairs to meet them, smiling warmly. She was carrying another child on her hip. Scrawny as he was, he looked way too old to be hauled around like that. 

Looking around, there seemed to be no one else in the living room or around the stairs, but the floorboards creaking overhead and hushed voices in the kitchen were so ominous that neither noticed the child's rapid hand movements at first. 

“Hello,” the woman said, keeping her voice lighthearted while her eyes flicked over Ginger and Yates, looking for injuries. “I’m Tina. It’s lovely to meet you. And this is Nils.” She gently jogged the child on her hip. 

Nils reached toward Ginger but Andromeda pushed his hand down. Ginger moved away instinctively, standing in front of Yates, though he was so weak he could barely stand, let alone fight people off. 

"We should probably get them lying down," Andromeda murmured.

Tina nodded, gently putting Nils down. “How about you go play with Harley while I help these two?” she said. 

Nils made some gestures the newcomers didn't recognize and grabbed Harley's skinny wrist. Yates worried that the kid must have been freezing, shirtless and barefoot in just a pair of thick pyjama pants. 

“Is he being punished?” Yates whispered fearfully. “Is that why he’s not allowed clothes?”

“No!” Tina said quickly. “No, Nils isn’t a fan of clothes. It took a lot to get him to wear the pants.”

"Perhaps the downstairs sitting room will be a good place for right now?" Andromeda suggested, no connection to the previous conversation. "It's not a proper sleeping space, but…" 

“They’ll have privacy,” Tina agreed. “I think it’ll be okay.”

Andromeda nodded. "It's this way."

Tina went to help Ginger, but he shied away and clung to Yates instead, following Andromeda down into the basement - because that's what it was, a basement, even if it was furnished and given deep plum walls and a cream carpet, even if Andromeda gave it a different name.

Ginger was laid on a sofa the colour of pink candy floss, and Andromeda shared a look with Tina. She smiled at him, though her eyes were trying to give him stay here signals. New arrivals could be nervous, skittish, sometimes hostile. She might need his help. He just smiled too, and Ginger bristled a bit, feeling that something was just communicated between them, but having no idea what. Now he kind of wanted to puke on their carpet. 

Tina turned to him, still smiling. “David said you were injured? Could you show me, please?”

Ginger stuck his arm behind his back, scowling. Yates tugged at his shirt. “You need help!” he hissed. 

"Aren't you in pain?" Andromeda asked. 

“No,” he muttered, while Yates nodded his head vigorously. 

“He is.” Yates put his head on Ginger’s shoulder, his fingers digging into his shirt. “Please let them help you. For me?” 

Ginger sighed heavily, and held out his bandaged hand. “I hate it when you do that,” he mumbled, but he laid his head against Yates’s. 

Even as Tina's fingers encircled his wrist and turned his hand over in hers, Andromeda's eyes taking this in from over by the wall was somehow worse.  Ginger felt itchy and exposed under his gaze.

“What?” Ginger snapped at him. Honestly, he wanted to see what Tina would do when he was so blatantly rude to this man who was her… boyfriend? Who knew. But she clearly liked him. “Why is he staring at us? What’s he even doing he— OW!” He gasped as a sharp stab of pain travelled all the way up to his elbow. Tina was pulling off the bandages, trying to be as careful as she could, but the blood and pus had hardened into a clumped mess with the bandages. Removing them would also mean ripping off scabs and bursting blisters.

Tina shook her head. “This is bad. You’ll need stronger pain relief than we have here.” She nodded at Andromeda. “We need Doctor Miller.”

Aside from his light brown skin paling a few shades, Andromeda didn't react much. He nodded. "Mm. Okay, I'll call her and let David know what's going on." 

“Probably best not to let David come down here. You know he’s pretty squeamish.” She turned back to Ginger as Andromeda headed up the stairs. “Your old owners did this to you?”

Ginger gave her a look. “No, I just really felt like holding my hand against the cooker one day.”

“I tried to help but I didn’t have the right medication or supplies,” Yates said miserably. “And now it’s so much worse.”

“You did a really good job, considering the circumstances,” Tina said. “Don’t worry, we don’t do those kinds of things here. No punishments. Nobody deliberately hurting you.”

“But what if we’re bad?” Yates whispered. “Don’t we get punished then?”

“Nobody will hurt you now, no matter what you do.”

Ginger and Yates glanced at each other. Neither looked convinced. Stanley had played nicey-nicey at first, after all. The punishments came later.

Andromeda was back down within minutes, and for some reason he had several metal mixing bowls and washcloths. He put them on the marble coffee table.

"Doctor Miller is on her way. You know I'm a dope with the medical stuff but I did my best to explain it and she doesn't think he needs to come down to the clinic, but if he does you know how that goes, that's fine, but hopefully they can just stay here," Andromeda gabbled, scarcely taking a breath. 

Tina went to put an arm around him. “Thanks, love. Don’t worry, it’s going to be fine. I’m sure she can treat them here.” 

Yates and Ginger stared. Obviously Ivy and Stanley weren’t a couple, so they’d never really experienced any sort of romantic affection between two people before. They knew about the Romantics, of course, but they had been taught to ignore those things themselves. How much was allowed in ordinary households? Was kissing a private or a public thing? 

"And David's aware," Andromeda went on. "I convinced him to wait here a bit longer and see these two after Doctor Miller leaves. Priscilla's keeping him busy for now."

“That’s good. Hopefully he’s keeping an eye on Nils and Harley too. You know how Nils can lead Harley into trouble.”

Andromeda nodded, very serious. "Crow and Briar are still in bed but I'm a bit late to making breakfast. I'll try to get Nils and Harley to 'help'," he said, doing air quotes. 

Tina laughed. “Thank you. I’ll come help as soon as I can.”

Andromeda grinned and dashed off. He seemed to be in a perpetual state of motion, running to and fro every which way.

“Are Harley and Nils your brothers?” Yates asked. 

“They’re like family now, but we’re not biologically related. Nils is my adopted child,” Tina explained. “Harley is like you guys, though he was on his own. He came to us a couple of years ago.”

“He’s nice,” Yates mumbled. 

“Yes, he’s a sweetheart. But he was treated very badly before he came here. It took a long time for him to feel safe, and he still struggles sometimes. But Harley is proof that it can get better for you guys, okay?”

Ginger and Yates exchanged glances again. They didn’t say anything else to Tina until Doctor Miller arrived. 

She was a big, plump woman - not as tall as Tina but rounder, and decades older. Her coiffed hair, stiff as a helmet, was dyed very bright orange, but Ginger didn't think she was a redhead before she'd gone grey. Her lips were crimson and her eyelids blue all the way to her miniscule eyebrows. She wore the signature white lab coat but also a big wooden bowtie and giant, round glasses. Under her coat were lilac scrubs patterned with puppies and kittens. 

She was, without a doubt, a pediatric doctor.

"Hiya lovelies, I'm Doctor Miller!" she said, shaking both their (uninjured) hands.

Somehow the doctor was more comforting, strange and patronizing as she seemed. Well, not comforting, but… predictable. The scientists at the facility's clinic were never as serious and cruel as the handlers. This was just a job, a paycheck. Few got the sick thrill the handlers did. Doctors were doctors and that was that. These people, this Tina and Andromeda… not so much. 

As this clown of a doctor looked at and gently prodded his hand, Ginger imagined her mercilessly stripping flesh right from bone along with the bandages. But she filled one of Andromeda's mixing bowls with some clear fluid and had him keep his hand in there for what felt like ages. When he started to get fidgety, she said, "There there, we're almost done."

Finally she instructed him to pull his hand out. 

"This might feel a little funny," she told him, "and it'll look worse. You might not want to look." 

Yates buried his face in Ginger’s shoulder obediently, but Ginger shook his head. “I’ll watch.”

If soaking his hand took ages, removing the bandages took a lifetime. Sometimes he wasn't sure if she was even pulling, and when any gauze didn't strip away instantaneously she stuck his hand back in the water. And as the last of the rusty-coloured gauze came off, his stomach turned over.

"This here," she said, pointing with a blue-gloved finger to a giant red lump with smaller bumps of yellow-green, "is a carbuncle. Funny name for a not so funny thing. But we can easily defeat this beast."

“It’s disgusting,” Ginger said hoarsely. “Just cut my damn hand off.”

"It looks worse than it is," she promised. She moved the bowl of fluid away and replaced it with an empty bowl, continuing with this no-big-deal attitude even as she delved into her bag and pulled out torture devices in plastic packaging.

Vague memories of needles and bags of icy fluid and the white walls at the facility pushed at his brain and he initially refused to give his hand over until Yates pulled the, "Please? For me?"

"That's so not fair," Ginger grumbled. 

She stuck the needle in and injected it around the "carbuncle" and the smaller pustules around it, and his hand became numb and tingly. Doctor Miller had to ask him to stop poking at and shaking it. 

"You were so brave!" exclaimed Doctor Miller. Ginger felt… was that frustration?

When she pulled an actual knife from plastic packaging, Ginger wondered if they vacuum sealed thumbscrews and pears of anguish too. Other instruments of torture.

He frowned then. Where did he learn about those? He couldn't place the era those tools were from. Probably not modern… right? Though maybe Ivy would’ve liked them. 

“What’re you going to do now?” he asked Doctor Miller warily. “Slice it?”

"We need to drain as much of the pus as we can. The rest will be treated with medicine and bandages."

“Fantastic,” Ginger sighed. He glanced at Tina. “Is… is everybody going to watch?” He felt strangely self-conscious, as if they were watching him use the toilet. 

"They can go if you're sure that's what you want." 

“It’s just embarrassing,” he mumbled.

"It's your decision, lovey."

He sighed. “Just… nobody else? Please?” He didn’t think he was allowed to order people around yet, even if they were playing nice. He couldn’t just tell this Tina to get lost. 

"All right. Some privacy, please, you two," she told Yates and Tina.  

“No, I need Yates!” Ginger cried, grabbing at Yates with his right hand. He pulled away from Doctor Miller again, his eyes suddenly wild and panicked. 

"Okay, then. Tina, love, give us a moment," Doctor Miller said calmly. Tina smiled and nodded, going upstairs without a word. 

Yates cuddled against Ginger’s side. “I’m here. I’m staying.”

Doctor Miller nodded, smiling a bit at them. It only lasted a second, and she pulled on goggles and a new pair of gloves. "Can I see your hand again?"

Ginger held it out reluctantly. “Will it get better?” It had looked so awful before that he’d worried it’d never heal. Yates told him it would, but Yates probably would’ve fibbed to stop him panicking. 

"If we keep up with treatment, it will. You came just in the nick of time." She continued talking as she moved his numbed hand over one of the bowls and pressed the tip of the knife into one of the yellow-green bumps on the carbuncle, not flinching as cloudy liquid spurted out.

Ginger pulled a face. “Yuck…” This was going to take ages. His cheeks started burning with shame. He felt responsible for having such a disgusting thing happen to him. “I’m sorry.”

"Don't be. Bodies do yucky things. We humans can't help being gross sometimes." 

His face went from pink to crimson. The childish language was even more embarrassing, though Ginger knew it was kindly meant. He started fidgeting again, a tight knot tying itself up in his chest. He had that terrible, itching urge to run.

She didn't just slice and poke, she squeezed and scraped and splattered the metal bowl with cloudy yellow-white and red. It smelled like rot. 

It was horrible. After a while Ginger stopped watching. He fixed his gaze on a corner of the ceiling and tried to forget where he was, his vision blurring around the edges. He used to do this during training, when the pain was so bad and he felt so miserable he didn’t want to wake up. Yates called it dissociating; Ginger didn’t know that word. Maybe it was a medical thing.

Eventually he was jolted by a firm pat on his back. "All done, love."

His hand was wrapped and everything. He remembered none of it. 

“Will it get all disgusting like that again?” he asked. 

"Not if you take your medicine and let Tina change your bandages." 

“What kind of medicine?” He looked panicked again. “The sleep medicine?”

"No, none of that. Antibiotics. All they do is stop the infection and help you heal," she explained, and as she zipped up her bag Ginger realized everything was already packed up. Where did she put the dirty bandages and instruments? Both used bowls and the other unused ones still sat on the table, and the smell lingered. "I'm going to send in a prescription to the chemist and someone will pick it up." 

“Thank you so much,” Yates whispered. “We’re very grateful to you.”

She stood up, smiling at them. "I'll tell one of them to pick up his prescription on my way out. Be good, loves."

“We’ll do as we’re told,” Yates promised. That’s what be good meant, right?

"No, no, only with the medicine. Well, and other things meant to keep you safe. You listen to yourself otherwise."

Yates frowned. Listen to himself? He didn’t think he knew how to do that anymore. Maybe he’d just listen to Ginger instead. 

She was gone, upstairs, and they were alone in this frilly pink-and-purple room, not sure what would happen next. 

[365days365movies]

January 20, 2021: Taken (2008)

Well, I know one thing about this movie. He’s gonna find ‘em. And he’s gonna kill ‘em. And also, Luc Besson didn’t direct this movie! Yeah, my bad, he wrote this movie. But, then, he also wrote Leon, so I wasn’t entirely wrong. Anyway, 2008!

I remember this year well. Obama was elected the first Black president of the United States of America; the Olympics took place in Beijing, months after a massive earthquake in Sichuan; the Large Hadron Collider was totally gonna make a black hole; and, of course, the most important news event of that year: Iron Man and The Dark Knight came out.

And of course, the film Taken came out, creating what is arguably the most repeated film meme ever. Or, at the very least, it’s WAY up there. It’s a 12-year old meme at this point, but lemme tell ya: this thing was HUGE in 2008. Not the movie itself, just the meme. And I could lie and tell you that I’m watching this movie because it’s another French action thriller, and it’s fitting, but…

...it’s the meme. It’s 100% the meme, I’m not gonna lie to you guys. So, uh...yeah, Taken, let’s do this. SPOILERS AHEAD!

Recap

Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) is dreaming of his daughter and wife. In the modern day, he brings a birthday gift to his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace), and his bitter ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen), who is married to a very wealthy man, Stuart (Xander Berkeley). Bryan, meanwhile, is a recent and comparatively poor retiree, whose friends come over for a night of drinks.

Retiree from what, you ask? Well, it’s likely the CIA, given that his friends refer to military missions and Langley. They invite him to join security detail for a pop star, Sheerah (Holly Valance), In the process, he saves her from crazed fans, including a knife-wielding assailant. Not sure why that guy wants to LITERALLY STAB HER, but somebody needs to look into that guy!

Out of gratitude, Sheerah gives Bryan some references to give to his daughter, who wants to be a singer, apparently. However, when he sees her and Lenore the next day, all she wants from him is permission to go on a trip to Paris with her friends. When he shows his doubts for her safety, she’s upset, and his wife berates him for...government and military service? I mean, that stuff breaks up marriages, of course, but GODDAMN, Lenore’s bitter about it! Whoof.

Bryan’s definitely being made to be sympathetic, while Lenore’s the opposite of that. And Bryan’s understandably worried about his daughter’s safety, as she’ll be abroad. And we get the idea that Bryan’s a bit of a helicopter parent, but...c’mon! He’s underage daughter is asking to go to Paris with her friends! It’s cause for a parent to be worried, and yet Lenore is like, “She needs to be freeeeeeeeeee!” And that’s made even WORSE by the fact that both of them lie to Bryan, a father who clearly loves his daughter, because she’s actually following U2 on a music tour around Europe!

Which...really? U2? Who the hell can stand that much Bono, for their ENTIRE EUROPEAN TOUR? Anyway, what I’m saying is, Lenore sucks, and I’m not Kim’s biggest fan either. But I get the feeling that, given the one thing I know about this movie...Bryan’s gonna be proven right. So Kim and her friend, Amanda (Katie Cassidy) go to Europe, alone, despite Bryan’s understandable misgivings. 

They IMMEDIATELY get hit on by Peter, a French boy who gives them a ride. He invites them to a party, Amanda accepts for them, and this is OBVIOUSLY A BAD IDEA. That’s even further confirmed by Peter making a mysterious call, telling the other person about the girls’ location. Kim doesn’t call Bryan, as promised, and Amanda is clearly a TERRIBLE influence. Looks like Bryan was completely right to be concerned, if his daughter’s gonna be so irresponsible. Oh, also because they’re about to get kidnapped.

Luckily, Kim had called Bryan just before, after realizing that he had called her, and he guides her through the upcoming kidnapping. With his help, although she gets kidnapped, Bryan is able to figure out that the kidnappers are Albanian, and that one of them is a six-foot tall bearded man with a moon and star tattoo on his right hand DAMN THAT’S OBSERVANT. But still...she’s been Taken.

Someone picks up the phone...and he says the speech.

Had to do it, folks. It’s the most iconic scene in the film. Time for action! Bryan calls a friend with Langley connections, then goes straight to Lenore and Stuart’s place, who find out that BRYAN WAS FUCKING RIGHT GODDAMMIT HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW 

 Having COMPLETELY FUCKED UP, Lenore asks Bryan to get her back safely. They actually figure out that the men who kidnapped her are professional sex-traffickers, who specialize in kidnapping travelling women and putting them in prostitution. But they tend to disappear...within 96 Hours. That’s how long Bryan has to find her, as well as being an alternate title for this film!

The time limit, by the way, is a common construct for the action-thriller. You know, “she has 12 hours to live,” that kind of deal. Thrillers are going to be peppered throughout this year, and there are a few coming up as well, so might as well start with this one, right?

Bryan flies to Paris, then makes his way to the apartment, tracing Kim’s steps up to her kidnapping. He also finds her destroyed phone, alongside an SD card with photos. From this, he gets a blurry look at Peter. I get the feeling that his face isn’t about to look much better. Speaking of, Peter’s playing his old tricks at the airport, and is caught by Bryan. Painfully caught. After Bryan fights off another guy, and chases Peter up a road, Peter also gets caught by karma.

80 hours left. Having exhausted options, Bryan meets an old contact, Jean-Claude (Olivier Rabourdin), who tells him where the Albanians hang out. He hires an Albanian translator, then heads for a prostitute-heavy area. He harrangues a prostitute until her manager comes out, whom he puts a small microphone on. With the translator’s help, he discovers that they’re having “merchandise problems” at a construction site. 

Following a hunch, he makes his way there, and sees several drug-addicted young women in a makeshift brothel. Also there is his daughter’s jacket. The prostitute that has it, however, is not exactly cognitively sound at the moment. So...she’s Taken. By Bryan, who fights his way out of the brothel and construction site, with gunshots, explosions, and car chases along the way.

Bryan brings the girl back to a hotel, where he somehow gets ahold of an IV and medicine, and detoxes her in the room. Which, given the time frame and other factors...seems like a very large risk to take for testimony that, let’s be honest, right not exist. Still, as this is happening, he gets a call from Jean-Claude, asking to meet.

56 hours left. After 7 people dead, a destroyed trailer, and 3 people injured (and probably stolen medicine from a hospital, let’s be honest), Bryan isn’t exactly the best friend of the French government. He escapes police custody and heads back to the hotel, where the girl is cogent enough to remember where she got the jacket: from Kim herself, at the house with the red door on the road of paradise. No, really.

Bryan gets to the house, and poses as Jean-Claude...badly. He apparently passes his bluff check, and takes advantage of a corrupt police system, and makes them give him protection money. Over the course of the conversation, he figures out that one of them is Marco. Which means that he found him. And he said that when he found him…

After that spree is done, he searches the facility and looks for Kim. He doesn’t find her...but he does find Amanda. And sadly, he’s too late for her. Turns out, though, that he didn’t kill Marko (Arben Bajraktaraj), the leader of the group. And of course not! He has some questions.

Bryan tortures Marko using electricity, and he reveals that Kim’s been sold quickly, as she is a virgin. She’s been sold to Patrice Saint-Clair (Gerard Watkins), although Marko doesn’t know where he is. And so, Bryan fulfills his promise, and electrocutes him. He then makes his way to meet Jean-Claude at his home. And, uh...that’s when he crosses a line.

...Um. Bryan shot his wife. And yeah, Jean-Claude’s clearly not on the up-and-up, but he’s not directly complicit in the kidnapping of his daughter. And yeah, he’s in Bryan’s way, but JESUS CHRIST DUDE. He officially loses the moral high-ground here for me, even if his cause is just. Jean-Claude concedes, and Bryan gets the information that he’s looking for and leaves, knocking Jean-Claude out in the process.

Bryan goes to the Saint-Clair residence, where an auction is taking place for various young women. The last of these is, of course, Kim. Having barged into a booth of one of the buyers, he forces him to buy Kim (ew). Unfortunately, he’s caught and chained to a pipe, where Saint-Clair’s henchmen are about to kill him. But, of course...

Bryan escapes and kills Saint-Clair in the process, but not before finding out that Kim’s been Taken to a boat. He obtains a car, and after a length (and seizure-inducing) car chase, gets onto the boat, which is owned by the Sheik, a man of unknown Arabic origin. And yeah, in case you were wondering, this feels very...VERY...wrong. It’s brief, yeah, but...you gave a rich Arabic guy multiple wives obtained through illegal means and made them the main villain? FUCKIN’ OOF BRUV

Anyway, as expected, Bryan kicks the asses of everybody on the boat, and finally rescues Kim, killing the Sheik in the process. The two have a tearful embrace, and Bryan NEVER LETS HER OUT OF HIS SIGHT AGAIN PROBABLY. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT BONO. THIS IS ALL YOUR GODDAMN FAULT.

Well, Bryan wins the I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG GODDAMIT award, Kim gets to go home and meet that singer from before, Lenore gives Bryan some consideration as a human being for once, Stuart stepfathers, and that’s Taken! Also, WHERE IN THE HELL ARE AMANDA’S PARENTS, A GIRL IS DEAD

Epilogue soon!

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 14: Groans of Increasing Discomfort

Heading back to the castle, it seems I’ve accumulated a ton of new buildings to buy. I can buy a statue of Mozu which probably costed more than her entire village, a ballista and shuriken launcher to use in castle battles, a bunch of puppets to give me nightmares (they fight for you in castle battles too I guess), a shop to buy new units (both generics and clones of the soldiers I already have), and a hot spring. Because fanservice. You can run into other units in there, everyone is in their underwear and blushing, half of the decisions that were made in this game’s development were solely for the sake of horniness, yada yada yada. I actually tried to leave and the game stopped me, because Sakura was showing up and it’s necessary to get that bath time with the teenage girl. The hot springs does have a use, admittedly, but it won’t become apparent for a few chapters.

Support: Lady Corrin/Reina

C: Corrin sees Reina talking to an old man and asks her about it. Reina explains that he reminds her of her parents, who cut her out of their life when she became a soldier. And also, apparently, don’t give a shit about her being the personal retainer to the goddamn Queen. Actually, wait, hold on. Where the hell was Reina when Mikoto got blown up? You know what? Her parents should be ashamed of her, she’s a terrible bodyguard.

B: Corrin tells Reina she should visit her parents. Which makes sense; Corrin points out that she’s an orphan and wishes for any relationship with a parent, no matter how strained. Reina tells Corrin that she became a soldier because she really, really, really likes killing people. Corrin volunteers to find out how Reina’s parents are doing.

A: Corrin tells Reina that her parents are doing fine. Reina retcons the last conversation by revealing that she became a soldier to protect her family’s peasants. Nowadays, though, it’s all about that murder.

Review: This one was fine. Corrin wanting to help Reina is a nice bit of characterization, but there isn’t much more to say about this one.

Now, you may be wondering why I referred to Corrin as Lady Corrin in the last bit. Reina actually has completely different supports depending on Corrin’s sex. Most characters have identical supports with Corrin, or if not that just minor dialogue changes (For example, Camilla and Laslow, off the top of my head). But characters like Reina, who can only support Corrin, get two conversations. I suppose it’s for the best, considering those characters would otherwise be incredibly out of focus as opposed to merely extremely out of focus.

Support: Lord Corrin/Reina

C: Corrin sees Reina carrying an apron, which weirds him out, because of the whole murder hobo thing.

B: Reina reveals her sheltered noblewoman housewife in training turned soldier backstory and says that the apron was a gift from her parents before they cut her out.

A: Reina says that her parents cried when she became a knight and that she keeps the apron out of gratitude for them.

S: Corrin, off screen, goes back to Hoshido to talk to Reina’s parents. Apparently they’re proud of her. And he asked to marry her, which she accepts, because she cannot imagine life without him. Apparently.

Review: So, these are kinda the same support? I mean, the actual words are different, but they cover the same information. It’s weird that they were split into two conversations. Whatever. The second one is better, because it gives this really fun characterization of Reina being a friendly team mom when she isn’t stabbing people so she can hear them gasp their last breaths. Also, it resolves the plotline. On the other hand, the S-Rank is really mediocre. Reina saying she relies on Corrin daily is ridiculous, given what we’ve seen. Overall, the problem with Reina is that she just has these two conversations. And one with Kanna, I guess, but that one is recycled from other characters. If Reina was a more fleshed out character that interacted with other characters, she might work as a character. But, as it stands, all she has is her recruitment and two mediocre supports.

Support: Hinata/Takumi

C: Hinata kicks down the door to Takumi’s room so he can tell him that he’s going to start a fighting tournament so he can beat people up.

B: Hinata beats people up.

A: Hinata reveals that he’s beating people up to cheer up Takumi, because Takumi looks happy when he cheers him on. I feel like he could have, I don’t know, asked Takumi how to cheer him up in advance instead of just assuming and doing something he said he didn’t want, but whatever. The two bond over Hinata beating people up.

Review: I think this one helped me hone in on why a lot of Fire Emblem supports don’t work. Supports are, by their very nature, just dialogue. So, when you get a support like this, that relies heavily on something happening, it ends up as telling not showing. That’s why the best supports rely on dialogue rather than explain something that happened off screen.

Support: Kagero/Saizo

C: Kagero and Saizo get into an argument over how to train royal guards, with Kagero pointing out that Saizo’s hard as nails “be ready to die for the monarchy” speech just stressed people out. Saizo blames the new recruits for being inexperienced.

B: Saizo endangers the life of his men to succeed on a mission and Kagero calls him out on it. Saizo points out that victory requires sacrifice and war is unforgiving. The two of them point out that they’ve had this exact argument again and again, and it’s the reason they broke up when they were dating.

A: Kagero and Saizo win a big battle together and admit that they work well together.

S: Saizo points out that their relationship failed because they kept trying to change each other and forgot that they loved each other. The two of them decide to give it another shot.

Review: This one has a much more solemn and reserved tone than most supports, which helps it stand out. It isn’t great, but it has a good tone and I actually don’t dislike Saizo and Kagero as a couple. Them being a flawed couple that broke up over their differences, then trying it again after maturing and becoming more rounded people is a lot more realistic than most relationships in this game.

Birthright Chapter 12: Dark Reunion

The gang arrives in Cyrkensia, a city in Nestra, a country that I forgot existed because this is the only part of the game where it is mentioned. Cyrkensia is a popular vacation spot with a big opera house that appeared in the intro.

A kitsune named Kaden goes up to the party and explains that he’s in town to repay a favor to someone. This introduction feels like when you introduce a new player halfway through a D&D campaign and they quickly explain their deal after walking up to the party.

Kaden introduces his friend Layla, who explains that she’s a singer at the opera house, but can’t perform tonight because her mother is dying. Also she’s singing for King Garon, the evil king who is on vacation a week after starting a brutal war. Azura volunteers to perform in Layla’s steed so the party can do some patricide. Now, you may be thinking, did the game do the stupid trope of having Azura and Layla look identical? Surprisingly, no, they didn’t. Everything else about this chapter is so cliche I assumed they would, but they actually remembered Zola has illusion magic that the party never uses. Also, because we helped the person Kaden has to help, he now owes us a favor, and will totally kill dozens of soldiers in a war he doesn’t give a shit about if we ask him to.

Kaden

Kaden is a Kitsune, this game’s equivalent of Laguz or Taguel from past games. He wields a special weapon called a Beast Stone that allows him to fight by turning into a big ass fox. His personal skill heals units who heal him. He’s a glass canon who does extra damage to cavalry, giving him an interesting niche. His human design is fine, but not remarkable. His fox design is cool, especially regarding the blue fire that floats around him; that said, the spikes on the legs are weird. Personality wise, he seems to be a go lucky idiot who stumbled into joining us.

When the party arrives at the opera house, Corrin notices Elise, who looks sad. Azura, who doesn’t look like Layla for the player, goes on stage. Azura sings the only song she knows, the magic one that breaks mind control, which makes Garon...groan in increasing discomfort, which makes me also feel discomforted. Also Azura does a bunch of crazy water magic, which is a bit extra.

Garon orders his troops to capture us, because Zola betrayed us. Gasp. Shocking. Zola does admittedly beg Garon to spare us. Garon kills him for even suggesting it, right in front of his young daughter, because Garon is a cartoon supervillain. Zola dies begging Corrin to forgive him and Garon calls Corrin weak for having sympathy. Takumi threatens to kill Garon, but Corrin points out that they need to leave if they want to live. Which is smart; Garon has ridiculously high stats.

This battle sees our units fighting on boats floating in the opera house, which is a cool setting for a battle. On turn three, some reinforcements arrive. Xander, who’s still pissed about the whole traitor thing. With him are Peri, a cavalier with cotton candy hair, and...is that Inigo? That’s Inigo, from Awakening. That’s fucking Inigo! What is Inigo doing here, and more importantly, why is he working for the very obviously evil bad guys?

There’s a Dragon Vein you can use to freeze all the water, which would make this level easier, if it wasn’t already a broken easy level. To beat this level, you need to get Corrin to a specific spot. Corrin can’t walk on water, so you need to fight through an onslaught of tough enemies. There’s just one problem: Hinoka or Subaki can carry Corrin directly to the end. I fought the enemies, because why not, but I didn’t have to.

I ignored Garon because he’s able to one shot literally every unit in my army, but I did decide to take on team Xander. Side note, I looked up Garon’s battle quote after the fact, and he says this to Corrin: “I may not be your father, but I will slap you down like a child.” I take back everything bad I ever said about Garon.

Peri, as it turns out, is a sadistic sociopath, because Nohr. Inigo...excuse me, Laslow, blushes when we stab him. And Xander steals Inigo’s famous crit quote from the Princess Bride.

Peri and Laslow went down easy, but Xander was almost as bad as Garon. Even with his bonus against cavalry, Kaden only did one point of damage per hit. I had to resort to the classic strategy of throwing disposable soldiers at him until he was weak enough for Corrin to Dragonstone.

This was a great map, with a creative setting, multiple ways to approach it, tough bosses, and an exploit that makes it completely skippable. Still, it’s the only Birthright chapter with a creative goal, so it deserves a little credit.

After escaping the opera house, Xander chases after us, despite being defeated ten seconds earlier. Elise gets in his way, telling him that if he’s going to fight someone, he should fight her. As Corrin runs, Xander warns that it is her destiny to fight him.

After escaping Xander again, Corrin finds Azura collapsed on the ground, exhausted. She’s going to die at the end of the game, isn’t she?

[lostinthelightss]

literal chaos fire (ch.1)

amazing banner by @downn-in-flames​ / down-in-flames@FFT

find it elsewhere: fft | ao3 | ff.net | hpff learn more: chaos universe link to other chapters: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 link to missing moments: 5.5, 7.5, 8.5, 15.5

pairing: Lily Luna Potter / OC genre: AU, Humor, Romance rating: mature audiences

summary: 

Victoire Weasley is a masters student in infectious diseases handling a devastating break up with her girlfriend of two years. Lily Potter is a first year law student navigating a figurative minefield that is the star quarterback’s unrequited affection. Molly Weasley is pursuing her bachelors in engineering while pining over her best friend - who doesn’t seem to realize it.

Three women, three vastly different lives, all coming together with group chats, family dinners, and a whole lot of chaos.

chapter summary: 

Mollz: Attachment: 1 Image Mollz: plz see that on april 18th at 7:29pm i did indeed say that law school was going to be hard

lawyerlilz: Attachment: 1 Image lawyerlilz: you're forgetting that 2mins later you said "work hard, play harder"

SEPTEMBER 15TH, 2021

'the dopest house' (foxyroxy, freddieboy, jamesatron, moollywoobbles, rose) 5:27pm

moollywoobbles: @jamesatron, how did you get into my room? moollywoobbles: i s2g, i have a lab tomorrow moollywoobbles: i'm not doing this moollywoobbles: FINE I'LL DO IT moollywoobbles: but i will get my REVENGE!

freddieboy: why don't you ever ice me? freddieboy: i'm starting to feel left out

jamesatron: PAYBACK FOR LAST PARTY jamesatron: YOU LEFT ME IN THE BATHROOM ALONE jamesatron: I WOKE UP IN THE DARK AND THOUGHT I DIED

moollywoobbles: that was @rose, and im offended you mixed us up

rose: he was fully naked and covered in vomit, i thought he'd be better off lying on the linoleum than causing irreparable damage to our carpets

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'literal chaos fire' (lawyerlilz, Mollz, VickyBaby) 8:49pm

lawyerlilz: two weeks in and i'm already drowning in work lawyerlilz: why did you guys let me go to law school?

Mollz: i told you it was gonna be hard Mollz: but did you listen? Mollz: no

VickyBaby: you actively supported her in this

Mollz: Attachment: 1 Image Mollz: plz see that on april 18th at 7:29pm i did indeed say that law school was going to be hard

lawyerlilz: Attachment: 1 Image lawyerlilz: you're forgetting that 2mins later you said "work hard, play harder"

Mollz: and i stand by both statements

VickyBaby: why do i feel like you're currently drinking

Mollz: james managed to hide another ice in my room when i was in class today Mollz: and after that i decided that having one drink was weak Mollz: i'm a few in

lawyerlilz: it's 9pm lawyerlilz: on a wednesday

VickyBaby: weren't you just complaining about your lab tomorrow? VickyBaby: and don't you have like a bajillion classes always?

Mollz: work hard, play harder baby

VickyBaby: never call me baby again

lawyerlilz: IT'S LITERALLY YOUR NICKNAME

Mollz: DON'T WANT ME TO CALL YOU THAT, DON'T NAME YOURSELF THAT

VickyBaby: alright, alright! damn, calm down... VickyBaby: seriously though, don't you have an early morning lab

Mollz: yeah but it's just circuits Mollz: and malfoy said the basics of it all is done Mollz: i just have to do the write up

lawyerlilz: i wish we had partners for contracts lawyerlilz: thinking is hard

VickyBaby: like disease ecology is easy? VickyBaby: we're looking at ebola right now VickyBaby: did you know the r0 is too low in humans for it to spread effectively? VickyBaby: but gorilla populations are absolutely decimated by it

lawyerlilz: how does Teddy stand you?

Mollz: she puts out

VickyBaby: actually... VickyBaby: i think Teddy and i are on a break...

Mollz: WHAT?! Mollz: what does 'i think' mean? Mollz: you've been together for like 2 years Mollz: and why didn't you tell us immediately?!

lawyerlilz: molly, shut up lawyerlilz: a 2y relationship just ended, she's entitled to her alone time

VickyBaby: actually...

Mollz: WHAT NOW?! Mollz: STOP STRESSING ME OUT I HAVE CIRCUITS LAB IN THE MORNING

lawyerlilz: i thought you just had to do the write up lawyerlilz: don't make me text scorpius and tell him that you're drinking the night before class lawyerlilz: again lawyerlilz: his roommate's gonna ask to talk to me lawyerlilz: again lawyerlilz: and i'm going to have to turn him down

lawyerlilz: AGAIN Mollz: AGAIN VickyBaby: AGAIN

VickyBaby: yeah, we know VickyBaby: i don't understand how you don't find that man attractive VickyBaby: starting quarterback AND captain?

lawyerlilz: i think that mollz drinking in the middle of the week is a bigger issue than my love life lawyerlilz: especially considering it's only her first week

Mollz: i'm taking ordinary differential equations Mollz: why wouldn't i start drinking Mollz: and the big issue here is Vic's love life, not how much fun i have

VickyBaby: ... Teddy and I are taking a break VickyBaby: because she's going to America on exchange VickyBaby: she's leaving in a week

Mollz: i'll key her car Mollz: i'll get xander to hack into the school's system and fail her Mollz: i'll ruin HER ENTIRE LIFE

VickyBaby: plz don't do that

lawyerlilz: who's keeping snuggles?

VickyBaby: the cats staying with me VickyBaby: if she'd fought me on that i would've let molly's wrath free

Mollz: i'll still do it

lawyerlilz: as your cousin, i'd help lawyerlilz: as your soon-to-be-lawyer, plz don't

Mollz: james says he's in Mollz: also james is already on his way to her place Mollz: and i might be with him

VickyBaby: MOLLY, DON'T YOU DARE

lawyerlilz: i'll tell Scorp lawyerlilz: don't think i won't

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(Lily Potter, Scorpius Malfoy) 9:26pm

Lily: molly's drunk Lily: and probably doing illegal things Lily: just thought you should know

Scorpius: lilz! it's me! Scorpius: james and i were a little too tipsy so malfoy's driving the car Scorpius: :)))

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'literal chaos fire' (lawyerlilz, Mollz, VickyBaby) 9:32pm

lawyerlilz: VickyBaby she's recruited Scorp lawyerlilz: this isn't gonna end well

VickyBaby: don't worry, Teddy moved home like 2 weeks ago

lawyerlilz: so they're going to be doing illegal things lawyerlilz: AT A STRANGER'S HOUSE?!

VickyBaby: oh shit

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'old fogies' (Fred [the smart dumb one], James [the older twin], Lily [ur 15mins older], Molly [the dumb smart one], Rose [the granger], Vic [the science beb]) 9:35pm

Vic [the science beb]: @Rose [the granger] @Fred [the smart dumb one] Vic [the science beb]: WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM?

Rose [the granger]: they promised to do all the house chores until Christmas

Lily [ur 15mins older]: SO YOU GAVE THEM THE KEYS?! Lily [ur 15mins older]: THEY'RE DRUNK!

Rose [the granger]: Scorpius was 100% sober and i specifically asked them not to tell me what they needed the car for

Lily [ur 15mins older]: THEY'RE GOING TO TEDDY'S HOUSE

Rose [the granger]: i don't see the issue here

Vic [the science beb]: Teddy broke up with me to go on exchange Vic [the science beb]: also she doesn't live there anymore Vic [the science beb]: and they don't know that

Rose [the granger]: OH NO

Lily [ur 15mins older]: OH NO IS RIGHT Lily [ur 15mins older]: also, where's @Fred [the smart dumb one]

Rose [the granger]: HE'S WITH THEM

Rose [the granger]: FUCK Lily [ur 15mins older]: FUCK Vic [the blonde beb]: FUCK

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'the dopest house' (foxyroxy, freddieboy, jamesatron, moollywoobbles, rose) 9:54pm

rose: GUYS STOP rose: THAT'S THE WRONG HOUSE rose: TEDDY DOESN'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE

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(RosieBear, ScorpiStud) 9:55pm

RosieBear: i will kill you RosieBear: you cannot be serious RosieBear: babe, i will actually murder you

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Lily Potter, Scorpius Weasley) 9:55pm

Lily: SCORP STOP Lily: IT'S NOT TEDDY'S HOUSE

10:02pm

Lily: SCORPIUS MALFOY I WILL END YOU

10:08pm

Lily: I'M NOT AN ACTUAL LAWYER YET I CAN'T DEFEND YOU

10:17pm

Lily: SCORPIUS!

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'the dopest house' (foxyroxy, freddieboy, jamesatron, moollywoobbles, rose) 10:23pm

freddieboy: hey @rose freddieboy: so bad news is freddieboy: we may have gotten caught freddieboy: the good news is freddieboy: campus cops' golf carts are terribly slow

rose: WHAT?!

freddieboy: we'll be home in 5 freddieboy: plz open the garage freddieboy: we don't know if they saw the license plate

rose: i am not going to be an accomplice

moollywoobbles: scorp wants to remind you that it looks bad on politicians if they're married to a criminal

freddieboy: and he said that he'll finally start watching Grey's with you

rose: it's open rose: and i hate you all

freddieboy: love you toooooooo

jamesatron: <3

foxyroxy: hey guys, remember when you promised you would pick me up after my night class? foxyroxy: think you could still swing by? foxyroxy: you won't even have to stop, just open the door and i'll jump in

jamesatron: FAST AND FURIOUS BABEYYY

[mj-spooks]

I did mean Scooby Doo, but if you would rather it be Buffy. I was just trying to think of another 5 person crew that would work. Alternatives were the Gaang or Voltron off the top of my mind.

Like I said, either way they’re probably the elevator gang. The rules dictate trapped with no hope of escape for 10 hours, I’m not touching that + Parker with a ten foot pole. And as much as I love Angel as a show and love the AI team most of the time, I’m pretty sure I would wanna stab every single one of them but Fred at some juncture (and not Lorne if we include him, which I INSIST we do because I Love Lorne). Scooby-Doo and crew, Fred and Velma are trying to escape but in a much more low-key, less annoying way. Daphne might whine a little and Shaggy might panic, but overall it’s prolly chill. And you know Shaggy’s got snacks.

Buffy and crew, again, much more low-key escape attempts, and the only one likely to annoy me is Xander, who I will just glare at until he shuts up. Buffy’ll probably distract herself doing pull-ups for a while. Dawn will attempt to mimic and be terrible at it. Willow and Giles are doing research with the One Book they have on them. Tara is generally just being sweet and awesome and keeping everyone calm through sheer force of will. Perhaps I can engage Anya or Spike in some hilarious “tell me about when you were evil” stories that will provide entertainment for me, and make Xander uncomfortable, as revenge for him being annoying earlier.

McDonald’s Supervisor I choose the Leverage crew, ‘cause you know they’re there to take that shit down for corruption and underpaying employees and all that. I plan to endear myself to them, either by having Important Helpful Information, or being in the right place at the right time to quickly improvise a cover story or otherwise assist at a crucial moment. Then, when the job is all said and done, they will have taking a shine to me, and rather than continuing to work at McDonald’s, whose policies have possibly improved but whose customers will continue to be dicks, I will go with them and help Eliot at the bar. It is the perfect plan.

AI is left with the lab partner, and like. You know the scene in Spider-Man: Homecoming where Peter is Really Obviously making web fluid in science class? This is basically that same scenario. Guys, the assignment is to test how different acids react with different bases. Y’all are clearly making some sort of toxic potion to like melt a demon’s face off, this is going to get us an F. And possibly sent to the principal’s office. Guys. Guys. What are you doing? But then I probably get roped into helping them kill the demon which sounds cool. Also anything science-y means Fred being extra cute and Wes being extra nerdy so I am Down. I will sit with Angel and Cordelia and Gunn, generally being confused but endeared by what is happening. Lorne is here and he is singing because I just want him to be.

[hanistarxx]

Against Elysium - Chapter 3

A Modern Greek Mythology AU with Fem!Hades & Fem!Persephone

Summary: All Omisha ever knew was death. She has never felt the warmth of the sun or the breeze of a stormy wind. She has never seen beauty in her kingdom of desolation, or heard the soothing music of assurance. Seraphina wanted to change that. All in the name of love. And Gods forbid anyone who dared to separate them. For if anyone did,a war is what would become of it.

Pairings: Zoe Kravitz x Adria Arjona (Fem!Hades x Fem!Persephone)

Warnings: None, Slight mention of murder

Word Count:  3.4K

Against Elysium - Masterlist

“ABSOLUTELY not!” 

Seraphina yelled at her friend who had nothing but a cheeky smile on his face. They had only been driving for 5 minutes and she felt sick to the stomach already. 

“Fina, this is the one time you get to go out. Of Bronxville! The next time your mom gets high and lets you off the hook again, will be in another 300 years. Do you really want to live in your floral shack for another three centuries?” Jacob chuckled. 

“You call my mother a druggie one more time Kingsley and I will cut you.” Seraphina grabbed on to the seat belt, the material clutched tightly in her hands. She looked as if she saw a ghost, wide-eyed and mouth agape. 

“You can’t make me lie to Mama, Jacob. I’m a terrible liar!” she hissed, small beads of sweat dripping down her face. 

“Look we’re going to Illyana’s and then Xander’s. And then we’re going somewhere else. You can just tell your mom that we went to the first two. You don’t have to tell her everything,” Jacob replied, his grin wider than before. 

Seraphina squinted her eyes at him in anger. She was not about to get into trouble. If her mother found out she lied, her chances of ever going out again were implausible. 

“Technically speaking, omitting the truth, isn’t lying - “ Jacob said. 

“Yes it is!” Seraphina exclaimed.

Jacob jumped slightly at her outburst but laughed nevertheless. The one time his friend was given the opportunity to roam around the city, and she decides to spend her time panicking. 

“Will you at least tell me where we’re going?” she asked, twisting her head to face him. 

Truth be told, Seraphina was flooded with adrenaline. Sure she was given the green light by her mother, but going to some place that was not allowed of her, made her feel invincible. It excited her. 

Jacob hushed her, telling her that it was meant to be a surprise, one she would never forget.  

“You’ll see. I think you’ll like it.” 

---------- 

“THE portal to the Underworld is in Manhattan, New York?!” 

Seraphina pressed her face against the car window, in hopes to get a better view of the metropolis outside. She watched tall skyscrapers piercing through the clouds pass by. All her life, the tallest building she had ever seen was the five-story church at the corner street of Bronxville. 

She awed at the sight of the city. It was modern, advanced and nothing at all like she had imagined. She turned her head to face forward and noticed Jacob driving them into an underpass. 

As they slowly descended into the tunnel, she realised there were no other cars in front of them or following suit behind them. She stared ahead, taking notice of a slightly transparent veil. It shimmered, expressing a little bit of gold. Seraphina squinted her eyes as the veil came closer to them. 

The car sped through the veil. The metal surfaces of the regular Manhattan underway passage slowly morphed into brick walls with statues of gargoyles protruding out. Each of them carved with rose-coloured stone and marble. 

Seraphina undid her seat belt to move forward, anticipating the view that was always described by others but never seen for herself.

“Welcome to the Underworld.” Jacob brought the car slower than usual, as it drove away from the passageway. 

They drove through a windy dirt road, between a forest. Large green pine trees encompassed them, with dead brown leaves bunched at the bottom, around its roots. Light misty clouds seen through the leaves above.

Seraphina brought the windows down to gain a better view of the dark naturistic world. The sun was neither glaring down on them, nor was it completely hidden. The dirt below seemed wet, with puddles every here and there. The breeze as the car continued, was cool and serene, causing her to close her eyes in content. 

She opened her eyes when she felt the car bump. She looked down to see the dirt beneath had turned into a stone path. They were no longer between pine trees but instead, dead willow trees, its enormous roots, resembling the skeleton of a human hand.

She faced forward and that was when she saw tall gates, the colour of the night sky, stood between high brick walls. It’s metal framework showcasing a visible ‘M’ on either side of the gate. Vines and moss covering at its seams, and the entirety of the walls. 

Behind the ancient wrought-iron gates were rows upon rows of crumbling gravestones, their engraved epitaphs bathed in light split from an auriete sun. She let out multiple gasps of shock and amazement as they passed by a series of ancient mausoleums, porous trees hunched over most of the void, casting them in a healthy shadow. Cobweb covered grecian statues stood proudly among the sea of the dead. 

Seraphina noticed the plants and flowers among the tombstones. Dark flowering vines wrapped around the mausoleums. She frowned as she gazed upon them, wondering how something so morbid, can appear beautiful at the same time. 

“There it is. Morrigan Castle,” Jacob said. He drove them through another clearing, away from the cemetery. 

She had seen pictures of Moerani Manor, courtesy of Jacob. It’s elegance and class renowned for its crystal marble floors and white chandeliers. But Morrigan Castle was the total opposite. It allured curiosity and mystery and she wanted nothing more than to step foot on the obsidian floors of the home. 

The old castle stood like an old man of the hill, the sunlight shining on it, its windows dark and gaping. Moss clung in the shade of the ancient walls like a scraggly beard. Grey stone rose from the land, unapologetic and bold. This was more than a castle; it was a home to everyone living in these parts. 

Both of them exited the vehicle and Seraphina suddenly found herself hesitating to enter. Under her fingers the stone was rough and it left her skin cold, drawing dampness into her bones. 

They strolled among the empty hallways outside the castle, Seraphina occasionally gazing up to the ceiling to admire the finer details of the architecture.

“This place is amazing,” she whispered, in awe. 

“Pretty cool huh? It’s a lot darker than Olympus but you can’t say Omisha ain’t got style, even if it’s old,” Jacob replied. 

“It’s definitely not how I imagined it to be.” 

“Sorry to disappoint you then,” a sudden voice said. 

Jacob and Seraphina screamed as if their terrified souls unleashed a banshee from within. They turned around and found Saskia, all decked out in black, her halberd by her side. 

“Speaking of disappointments,” she continued, her gaze focusing on Jacob. 

“Right, yeah, no one comes into this realm unannounced,” Jacob solemned. 

“Good, you remember,” the Fury replied, “So why the hell do you keep coming unannounced?” 

Jacob scoffed at the blatant remark. He thought of an excuse but knew that if he lied his way through, his head would come clean off, with the way Saskia was holding on to her deadly contraption. 

“I’m a messenger-” 

“What up mailman?” Kiara hollered from behind him, happy to see the Kingsley man. Accompanying her was the youngest Lin sister, Thana. The both of them were similarly clothed in black and weapons tucked into their scabbards, attached to their hips. They walked towards the front, joining Saskia. 

“A MESSENGER!” Jacob shrieked, in a little girly voice. 

“As I was saying, I forget things sometimes, with all the messages I have to freaking pass around everyday,” he spazzed, his arms flailing around. 

Seraphina tried to control her giggle, while the sisters just looked at him blankly. 

“Just get a phone like the rest of us. You know those things exist right?” Thana remarked, her tone laced with sarcasm. 

Jacob rolled his eyes with a disgruntled sigh. 

“I know that but the old man insists on formalities,” he said. 

“Or maybe he’s just too old to even try and use a phone. I can’t blame him, he’s got a tiny brain,” Saskia seethed. 

Seraphina glanced back and forth between the girls and Jacob, thinking about who they were referring to as ‘old man’. 

She quietly raised her hand and spoke up, “Are you guys talking about Mr. Moerani?” 

Jacob pressed his face into his hands while the Erinyes’ stared at her incredulously. 

“Mister? Sweetheart are you lost?” Thana asked. 

Seraphina shook her head, the frown between her eyebrows increasing. 

“We don’t call him mister down here. That man doesn’t deserve an ounce of respect from us, not after what he did- ” 

“Saskia.” 

At the sound of a velvety yet powerful voice, Seraphina turned around to find its source. She found Naya Corvus and standing beside her, in all her royal glory, was Omisha Morrigan. 

The Erinyes’ dropped down on one knee, their heads bowed with respect for their Queen. With a hum of approval and a wave of her tattooed hand, she commanded them to stand.

Seraphina tried to break her gaze away from the Goddess but to no avail. She took notice of her raven hair tied in braids, loosely let out over her shoulders. She saw tiny freckles, barely visible, spread over her nose and her honeyed-brown skin that basked under the filtered sunlight.

She focused on her eyes which were curiously gazing back at her. They were a deep brown, like the color of the earth after a torrential rain. But there was something else in them, glistening like an old copper penny. They held secrets, the same way a pot holds deep soil because it is essential to keep the plant safe. The roots are held in place, the same way her dark eyes held so tightly onto her secrets. 

Omisha who held a curious frown towards the younger Goddess, turned to Jacob for an explanation. Having guests in the Underworld was a common idea but she had never met the hispanic beauty, standing in front of her now. Seraphina’s luscious brown curls and her soft hazel eyes, paired with her glowing caramel skin made Omisha wonder in enamore. 

“Misha, my girl!” Jacob started, his words stuttering out of his mouth, due to his nerves. No doubt he had been reprimanded more than once about visiting the Underworld without her knowledge. Omisha never liked anyone coming to her home uninvited or uninformed. He was afraid today she might as well send him to Tartarus for forgetting again. 

Omisha’s glare was the only message he needed. Her gaze fell on him like an act of violence and he visibly trembled for a second. He was about to speak up again before he was interrupted by her. 

“You girls can leave. Bring her with you,” she said, commanding her Erinyes’ to take Seraphina on a castle tour, far away from her, as she needed to discuss private matters with Naya and Jacob. 

The sisters nodded and with gleeful smiles, invited Seraphina and went on their merry way. Seraphina hesitated at first, looking back at Jacob who merely winked and nodded at her, encouraging her to explore the grounds with the girls. 

Jacob sheepishly shrugged his shoulders at Omisha, who rolled her eyes in reply. 

“Why are you here?” she asked. 

“Moerani wants you to know that he’s working on the murder cases. The police mortals have confirmed that they are indeed a series of murders, by poison.” 

“That’s why they all looked like they died in their sleep. The damage was internal,” Naya concluded to herself. 

“Yeah, and the victims were all infected by the same poison,” he replied. He pulled out his tablet, showing intel that he retrieved from the police investigators - a serial killer was on the loose.  

“Israel’s working on an antidote right now, but we’re still unsure of how this poison was administered and how long it takes to fully affect humans. He hasn’t gotten a prophecy or a vision as to who the murderer is though, ” he continued. 

Omisha walked between her advisor and her friend, nodding her head, her brain reeling in brand new information. 

“You know, you could have just sent a text to Naya about this,” she said, amused that the God of Travel came all the way to her abode, to spew a little murder mystery. 

Jacob nodded, “Yeah, that’s not the only reason I came down here. Moerani wanted to give you this too.” 

He dove his hands into his satchel, retrieving a sepia-coloured envelope, with her name written in cursive. She tore it open and took the card out, revealing an invitation to a grand party in Moerani Manor, in celebration of his and Genevieve’s wedding anniversary. 

Omisha let out a bitter sigh, “You’d think they’d get tired after throwing these parties for 500 years, but no.” 

Jacob laughed as Naya contained hers. Jacob reminded her that her presence at the party will be gratefully appreciated. Omisha did not reply with words but one look from her grouchy face, she meant to tell him ‘no promises’. 

It was Naya’s turn to speak up, her topic directing back to the young floral Goddess that accompanied Jacob. 

“Was that Isabela’s daughter that you brought here?” 

----------

“SO you live on Earth?” 

Seraphina nodded, balancing herself on a stone ledge. The sisters had given her the ultimate Underworld tour; from skipping around the graveyard to watching them train in the Arena. All she knew was this realm was far more magnificent than her friends described it to be. 

“What’s it like up there?” Thana asked. 

“I wouldn’t know. I rarely get out of the house. My mother doesn’t let me out,” she replied. 

“So you snuck away?” Kiara imposed. 

Seraphina jumped off the ledge to sit on it. She let out a heavy sigh and shook her head. 

“No. I kinda yelled at her for being unfair to me and I guess she felt bad, so she let me follow Jacob the whole day, to apologise, I guess.” 

“What about your dad?” Kiara asked again. 

Seraphina was taken back by surprise. No one ever asked her about her father before. She did once but only because the first time she brought the topic up, her mother made her vow to never ask about him again. She had always wondered why but knowing how her mother can get when no one listens to her, she’d rather stay in the dark. 

“I don’t know who my father is actually. I’ve never met him. I asked Mama about it once and she seemed dubious about it,” she shrugged. “I never asked again.” 

“Damn,” Saskia started, “Isabela Narvaes had a scandal with one of the Gods.” 

Seraphina shook her head, wanting to disagree with the beautiful Chinese girl in front of her. 

“Oh my Gods, that’s possible,” Kiara insinuated. 

“But which one?” Thana asked, her face displaying a sickening smile. 

As the sisters immersed themselves into the discussion of Seraphina’s supposed father, she stood up and quietly snuck away. Of course, she would like to know who her paternal figure was but she wasn’t quite ready to handle the hard truth, especially not in the Underworld. 

She found herself roaming around the hallways of Morrigan Castle once more. There was a vibe coming from the establishment that pulled her, like a bird to its nest. As she strolled along, she brushed her hands on the rough stone walls, electricity flowing through her veins. The tiny hairs on her hand stood, not out of fear, but out of misplaced belonging to the castle. 

She kept on walking and admiring the many paintings on the walls until she reached the end of the hallway, and laid her eyes upon a beautiful landscape. It stood right smack in the open center of the castle, an attraction displayed for its grandness. 

The Underworld was no doubt a place that reeked of death and despair but right in front of her was a square garden, filled with flowers and plants, even she had never seen before. She climbed down the few flights of stairs leading to it, her eyes never moving away. She walked in twisted bends around small trees, a different spring flower in sight at every corner. 

Through the maze, she reached the center of the garden. There stood a tree, standing at attention, its leaves forming a canopy slightly above her, shading her from the setting sun above. Its bark swirled like water, as if it had flowed from the earth rather than grown there. She followed the eddies and curls, half expecting them to move. She reached out to feel it upon her skin and felt her next breath go in a little deeper. 

Her gaze wandered up only to notice the extravagant fruit it bore, each branch spread out as if so proud of the bounty they held and the sweetness given within each one. Red and round, similar to apples but she knew they were anything but. 

Her hand moved gracefully from the bark of the tree towards it, ready to pluck it. Her fingers were inching closer and her fingertips were already brushing on the leathery rind of the fruit when her wrists were caught. 

She felt the cool pressed sting of metal rings on her bare wrist and she recognised from the tattoos on the hand that caught hers, that it could only belong to one Goddess of the Underworld. 

She trailed her eyes to the owner and for a moment she feared for her dear life. Omisha burned her gaze into Seraphina, literal embers of orange that could only represent fire, contrasted again obsidian black, had replaced her dark brown eyes. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked, her voice, far from the velvety rhythm Seraphina heard merely an hour ago. She sounded terrifying, demonic even. 

“I was just looking,” Seraphina replied, her words stammering out of her mouth. She looked around and noticed Jacob, Naya and the Erinyes’ all looking at her with worry. She stopped her gaze at Jacob, silently praying for his help. 

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from this garden and from this place,” Omisha grunted, her fingers still tightly wrapped around Seraphina’s tiny wrist. 

“You’re hurting me.” She tried to pry her hand away from the deadly grasp, tears falling down her cheeks, calling out for Jacob along the process. 

Jacob hurriedly went to her side, as Omisha let go of her. He ushered her to walk back to his car, wanting to bring her home immediately before anything worse could happen. Omisha frustratingly turned away and was confronted by a disappointed Naya. 

“Its her first time here. She doesn’t know anything about this place,” she stated, crossing her hands in front of her. 

Omisha disregarded her and turned her attention to the Lin sisters.

“I thought I told you to look after her,” she breathed out, making her way to them. The sisters audibly gulped. “You know what happens if anyone eats that cursed fruit.” 

They all but nodded, bowing their heads in regret and shame. 

“She didn’t know, Omisha,” Naya stated again. 

“Why are you defending her?” she muttered, slowly turning her head towards the elder Goddess. 

“She’s innocent.” 

“Exactly,” she hissed. “If she ate that fruit, she’d be stuck down here like the rest of us. I don’t know that girl, but I know she doesn’t belong here. She won’t last a damn minute.” 

With her final word, she dispersed, heading back to her office. She wasn’t about to argue with her friends over her actions towards a floral dress-wearing Goddess. Truth be told, Omisha was afraid. She was afraid of the very same mistake occurring again, resulting in another innocent soul to be sealed to the Underworld, without a choice. 

As the car drove back towards the tunnel leading back to her realm, Seraphina rubbed her wrists. The pain from the grasp was still very prominent and she could see the red outlines starting to appear. 

She was a mixture of emotions. Sadness, anger, fear all wrapped up inside her. But there was only one question that played on her lips. 

“What the hell was that fruit back there? Why was she so protective of it?” 

Jacob sighed and closed his eyes momentarily. 

“It was a pomegranate,” he said. 

“And she wasn’t protecting the fruit. She was protecting you.” 

----------

tag list: @futureauthor-mabye​ @artwriteanimationinspo​

----------

Chapter 4 (COMING SOON)

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 5x10 Into the Woods

aka Team Buffy all the way

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s episode does a fantastic job with its characters, and portraying conflicts in a way that’s understandable from all perspectives… But I’m still with my girl, Buffy on this one. Stop putting your issues on her.

You know, I always say that I’ll be quick and short with these posts, and then I end up trying to organize my thoughts about Buffy’s depression over two hours anyway… This time though, I really do got a time schedule, so if this post ends on a half-thought, just know that I’m probably running to catch my train for my vacation trip as you’re reading this.

So let’s talk the episode. I was actually sort of reminded of Dead Man’s Party with this one, as the poster child of blaming Buffy for dealing with her trauma by distancing herself. However, Into the Woods is a much needed improvement on that scenario, as Buffy’s rebuttals on Riley’s ultimatum are given the necessary weight, and she gets to go off and express her feelings about him putting the blame on her for his actions.

(Both episodes have also been written by Marti Noxon - you can always count on her for your ugly self-reflective arguments and dramas.)

When she tells Riley that this is all she can give to him, this is the whole package, and if that’s not enough for him, then that’s not on her and they got some serious problems… I felt that. Especially as this is a period in Buffy’s life where her depression is starting to affect her life more and more. There’s quite a large part of me that just wanted to give a big old fuck you to Riley right there and move on.

And yet I also get what Xander was trying to say when he convinced Buffy to try and give it another shot. Sure, we can talk about all the textual ways in which Xander relates to Riley, and what this scene might mean from that angle… But whatever else is going on there, Xander’s speech comes from a genuine love for Buffy. He wants her to be happy and not to make a decision she might later regret.

Because as much as Riley’s ultimatum is bullshit, as much as it’s not on Buffy to make that decision for him… Sometimes, we have to compromise for the people we love, and let go of our egos. We can’t always wait for the other to take the first step to mend our conflict.

The problem is that Buffy is especially wary about those compromises after Angel. To recap, season 2 and season 3 was basically one big lesson for her about not losing herself in another relationship. So yeah, it’s no wonder that Riley feels a distance from her.

But this is who Buffy is now. Someone who learned to rely on herself, to not make one person the center of her universe. Someone who is going to be struggling with depression for the rest of the series. I don’t think that she could be who Riley wants right now, and I kinda hate that we are making her feel bad about that.

Especially since Riley’s problems go well beyond Buffy. He made Buffy the center of his universe, because he’s lost his previous purpose in life with the Initiative, and he can’t handle that he is not Buffy’s whole world in return. There is some commentary here about ex-military and veterans too, who decide to go back to war because they can’t find their place back in society… But I do feel like most of that gets lost with all the relationship stuff.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing; this is some meaty relationship drama after all. But there was some potential for other angles too for sure.

Speaking of emotions, I’ll also be the first to admit, that the ending with Xander’s speech to Anya, and then Buffy walking home got to me. It’s a great speech, so much so, I don’t even take issue with the “you make me feel like a man” part. This is Buffy the show after all, and for Xander, being comfortable in his own type of masculinity is kind of a biggie. It also makes a nice full circle with the last scene in The Replacement between Xander and Riley.

Earlier in the episode, Buffy accuses Xander of treating Anya the same way she does Riley, but Xander is actually ready to take those first steps towards Anya. Both Xander and Anya are willing to compromise for each other, and that’s what makes their relationship work at this point in time.

Meanwhile, as far as Riley goes… He’s been a character that I always wanted to like. He gets a lot of flack just for being a love interest opposing other more popular ships, and that makes me automatically want to go into protective mode over him… But the truth is, much like all of Buffy’s love interests, he’s terrible in his own unique way.

He’s always been insecure about his masculinity with Buffy, and he never really got over that. There’s a whole lot of casual sexism and entitlement that comes with his package too, and worse, he rarely seems to be self-aware enough of those. I just also feel like he’s not in the right mindset right now to be in an adult relationship, and I wish that he expressed that more to Buffy, instead of putting her in the impossible position of making his life choices for him.

And while there’s a lot I was able to sympathize with in this episode, that whole shtick about Buffy “needing some monster in her men”? Give me a fucking break. It puts Riley into this Nice Guy light, and portrays Buffy as a Bad Boy magnet, and you know what, fuck that. There are plenty of reasons why this relationship is falling apart, and Riley not being “enough of a monster” or whatever the fuck he and Spike were going on, is not one of them.

I liked seeing a bit of a darker side to Buffy here though. Good old Marti knows how to bring out the ugly in the characters you love, and Buffy burning down the house, and then killing the girl that was feeding on Riley as she was running away… That was some quality repressed rage.

(Just don’t think about the sex work metaphor with those vampires…)

Oh yeah and the first 10 or so minutes with Buffy’s mom’s surgery? Once again, all the feelings. Buffy and Joyce’s wig talk was a delight as well.

We’ve also got a bit of an intro to the next episode, with Anya calling out Willow for mocking her weirdness. So that one should be fun.

See y’all in a week or so.

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

The wedding episode

The wedding!

The wedding is finally here, and everyone’s tense: the bridesmaids because of the bright green dresses they’ve been assigned, the engaged couple because of finally going through with this and all the planning required, the Harris family because they don’t get along well with Anya’s guests, and so forth. But on the wedding day, right before the ceremony starts, an old man appears claiming to be Xander’s future self and shows him a vision of the future, depicting a troubled marriage that ends with a violent disagreement.

This causes Xander no end of grief, and he disappears for a while. Buffy is left to try to stall while Willow goes out to look for Xander and bring him back before anyone discovers what’s wrong. It only lasts so long, and Anya finds out, only to run into old man Xander and discover he’s not old man Xander at all--he’s just some demon that used to be a guy that Anya wrecked in her vengeance demon days, and to get back at Anya he came and ruined her wedding. 

They fight him and kill him, but when Xander comes back it turns out that he doesn’t want to get married. He’s decided that even if the future he was shown wasn’t real, he’s scared it might come true anyway, and he doesn’t want anything like that to happen to Anya. So he just leaves, the wedding’s off, and Anya’s old boss offers her a job as a vengeance demon again.

Huh.

Spike also arrives at the wedding with a date, obviously trying to make Buffy jealous, which she does call him out on. She does admit that it works, but while she does still have feelings it doesn’t change the breakup, and he and his date leave before the drama really gets started.

Notes!

-I’m not sure how I feel about the wedding being called off. On the one hand, it’s not like it’s out of nowhere. We’ve had quite a bit of foreshadowing that there’s something off about Xander and Anya’s relationship, something they’re not really facing, even as far back as the beginning of the season. And so getting married with addressing or fixing those issues is a recipe for disaster, which I’m glad Xander realizes. But just calling it off also feels as if the writers of the show wanted to have the drama of a wedding storyline without actually writing a married couple. The drama of a certain kind of relationship without actually dealing with that sort of relationship.

It reminds me of how so many comic book characters have weddings teased, but never get married (COUGHBatmanRebirthCOUGH), or have those marriages retconned away (COUGHOneMoreDayCOUGH) because the writers think it’s too boring for heroes to be in a stable marriage, or like having a bunch of buildup going nowhere because Drama. And it’s a bit frustrating.

-I do feel bad for Spike’s date in this episode, given she’s just being used as emotional guilt tripping. And being used was exactly the reason Buffy dumped Spike--it’s not fair to use someone in a relationship. Spike apparently didn’t learn that lesson? Maybe he did this time.

-The cover story they went with for the demons at the party was that they’re circus performers? That’s… pretty weak, especially since a lot of them have clearly not-human attributes. Given that this is Sunnydale, and Xander’s going to be marrying Anya, I would have thought someone would have told at least his immediate family that Anya’s side were mainly supernatural beings? Then again, Xander’s parents are kind of terrible so maybe it’s not worth telling them because it would have made things worth.

-Like gosh, Xander’s dad is terrible. Which isn’t NEW, per se, but him constantly taking excuses to go and bother the demons and try to rile them up was incredibly infuriating.

-Also, before Buffy stalls by juggling, everyone is sitting there bored? And I though, “Huh, yeah, this was more of a thing before smartphones, yeah?” Because yes, people would still be bored in those situations, but at least nowadays there would be more entertainment in your phones, reading, or socializing or whatnot. YMMV on whether or not that’s a good thing, because you’re not socializing with the people around you.

-This wedding is obviously not in a church, I don’t think? With all the demons around, I guess that makes sense, but it was going to be performed by a pastor, which I would figure might be a bit triggering for the demons? Although again, demons in Buffy seem more extra-dimensional than necessarily Satanic, so maybe they don’t care, or they find the whole thing amusing.

-In the bad future that��s shown to Xander, one of their kids isn’t his? And I’m wondering what the fudge that’s about?

-One of Xander’s uncles has drafted a caterer as a date, a woman who is closer to Buffy’s age than his own, and she’s clearly uncomfortable with this? And this is kind of played as a joke, but it’s honestly quite terrible and horrible and I want to beat this man with a pipe. No! Do not make light of a woman being creeped on by a sleazeball!

I’m just saying this bit did not age well.

-Anya’s boss gives a present, which has some kind of living thing in it with tentacles? Is that a pet? Or some kind of delicacy? More importantly, does Anya get to keep it? Who knows. 

-Oh hey, Sarah Michelle Gellar can juggle!

-Xander’s dad suggests to Buffy that they have a quickie? And that’s gross? Thankfully, Buffy threatens to rip his dick off and he backs off.

-Probably should have known that the wedding might not be fantastic since it was thundering outside.

-I watched this episode on the anniversary of my brother’s wedding? Not sure where I’m going with that, but it was kind of weird.

-How does a human become a demon, exactly? Anya did it, and the fake future Xander did it too. Apparently it’s something that can happen, I’m just wondering HOW. And out of curiosity, what if it happened to a Slayer? Food for thought.

-Everyone is remarkably cool with Buffy and Xander killing a demon dude in the same room as the wedding, and perfectly willing to let the ceremony continue with his body getting cold back there (Willow was hoping it would disappear, but it didn’t, so she suggested covering it with flowers).

-Even if we accept Xander’s reasoning for calling off the wedding, he just leaves without bothering to explain to everyone what happened, so that Anya has to tell the crowd that the wedding’s off and presumably explain why they all have to go home. Which is a dickish thing to do.

-I’m currently reading a Gerald Morris book (The Princess, the Crone, and the Dung-Cart Knight), and there’s a line where a character says something like, “Maybe I didn’t truly love her, but I loved her as much as I was able to understand love,” and I’m not sure that applies here, but I just want to throw that in and ask if you think this applies to either Anya x Xander or Spike x Buffy? Or neither?

-Buffy admitting that she saw that couple as a sort of hope spot for what she could achieve with her life is… disheartening, because even before it was clear that they weren’t a model relationship. But they were there, and I suppose that counts for something.

[seasonofthegeek]

Rarepair Month: Wedding

Today’s drabble was commissioned by @miraculouspaon who is an angel from heaven above and because of that, I’m going to write this in the Just for Tonight universe and it takes place after Chapter 30. <3

“Are you nervous?” Adrien asked, holding Nino’s tie out for him.

“About what?” Nino grabbed the tie and looped it around his neck.

“The wedding.”

Nino grinned at his reflection as he finished the knot. “The wedding? Hell yes. Marrying Felix? Not at all.”

“Are you sure? He’s pretty grumpy in the mornings,” Adrien teased. “The afternoons too. And if you were hoping he’s in a good mood in the evenings, well, I’ve got some bad news for you.”

“Yeah, but I get to be blind to all that because of the whole love thing.” He grabbed his jacket off the armchair and pulled it on.

“Lucky.”

Nino laughed and turned to face his best man. “How do I look?”

“Like the most beautiful soon-to-be queen in the world,” Adrien cooed.

“I hate you so much.”

“You love me so much. I’m your brother now, you know.”

Nino smiled and pulled him into a hug. “You’ve always been my brother.”

“Hey, this is supposed to be teasing only right now,” he grumbled, tightening his hold. “Because I feel like I’m going to cry and if I do, my eyes will be all puffy for pictures.”

“No one’s going to be looking at you anyway.” Nino pulled away after one last squeeze. “I get to be the pretty one today, Shrimp.”

“I know you didn’t just bring that awful nickname back.”

Nino tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I think I’ll use it in my speech at the reception. You were such a small child for your age.”

“Do you really want to start a war over who has the more embarrassing stories to tell because I’m not afraid to bring it,” Adrien warned. “We shared a suite for a very long time and I walked into some really scarring scenes more than once.”

“No more scarring than what I’ve caught you and Marinette up to in your room,” Nino shot back with the quirk of an eyebrow. “But let’s call it a truce and get me married to your brother before he changes his mind.”

Adrien laughed. “Yeah, like that’s going to happen. You’re the most important thing in the world to him.”

Nino felt his insides go warm from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. “I know the feeling.”

Adrien’s expression softened. “I’m really happy for you guys. Like over the top happy.”

“And I’m sure a little of the happy has to do with not having to take the throne?”

“Just overjoyed for my best friend and brother,” the prince winked. “Now hang out here for a minute, I’m supposed to check with Nathalie before I take you to the next place before the ceremony so you and Fe don’t run into each other.”

Nino nodded and went back to the mirror, tugging on the hem of his jacket. Everything was perfectly tailored, of course, and beautiful embroidery made the piece a thing of art more than clothing. He wasn’t necessarily in love with his hair slicked back but he had to admit it gave him a more refined look. As long as he didn’t have to keep it like this all the time, he could survive the day.

“You think it’s too late to elope?”

He turned in surprise to see Felix standing in the doorway and realized the world had been slightly off axis before and was finally settling back into place. The ornate ceremonial crown was already resting on his head, blonde hair woven around the sides and back of it to give the illusion that the crown had simply grown up from his hair naturally. His suit was a dark charcoal that bordered on black but the royal blue tie is what grabbed Nino’s attention. “I like the blue.”

“I was hoping you would,” Felix smiled. He slipped into the room and closed the door behind him. “Please tell me you have an escape plan.”

“Getting cold feet already?”

“I want you to escape with me so I don’t think that counts as cold feet.” Felix reached up and tugged at the corner of Nino’s hair until a curl popped free. “That’s better.”

“Oh man, Marinette is going to kill you for that,” Nino grinned. “She made the hair stylist leave so she could fix it herself.”

“I think I can handle her wrath. I’m the king after all.” He leaned in for a kiss and Nino happily obliged. They parted after a few minutes and Felix sighed. “And as king, can’t I decide I don’t want to share my wedding day with a bunch of people I don’t know or like?”

“I think this is one of those things you just have grin and bear, your Majesty.”

Felix slipped his hand inside Nino’s jacket so he could pull him closer again with one hand on his hip. “You know, in just a few minutes, you’re going to be a Your Majesty too.”

“That’s going to be so weird,” Nino groaned. “I don’t think I’m going to like it.”

“You get used to it.”

“No, you get used to it,” he corrected. “You just went from Your Highness to Your Majesty. I’m going from ‘Hey you with the prince’ to Your Majesty.”

“Nothing’s going to change,” Felix argued as he slipped his other hand into Nino’s jacket and caressed his palm along his side.

“Everything’s going to change but that’s okay. After everything else we’ve been through, this will be easy street, right?” Nino glanced down his body and the two arms that seemed to disappear beneath the sides of his jacket. “You know, for a stuffy and stoic king, you’re pretty handsy.”

“It’s my wedding day and my soon-to-be husband is the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure what you were expecting.” Felix smiled at him and it was the smile that only Nino got to see, the one that was bright and happy and had weathered terrible things and was still there. There were very few people who got to see Felix smile and fewer even still who got to see him genuinely smile and Nino knew he was the luckiest of them all. He felt Felix’s arms reach all the way around his middle to pull their bodies flush and Nino let out a content sigh.

“I love you,” Felix whispered. “I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you. You saved my life.”

“You saved my life,” Nino echoed. “Over and over again.”

“This almost doesn’t feel real, does it? There’s this part of me that’s scared I’m going to wake up and find out it was all a dream.”

Something cold tickled at the back of Nino’s mind but he ignored it. “After everything we’ve been through, we deserve a little happiness.”

“A lot of happiness,” Felix said with another kiss. He sighed dramatically and stepped back. “I better go back to my room. I’m sure Pierce is scowling down every hallway looking for me.”

Nino frowned. That couldn’t be right. “Pierce...”

“It doesn’t seem to even matter that I’m king now,” he laughed. “He still treats me like a child who needs to be watched at all times.” A long gash opened along Felix’s neck as he laughed and all the breath was knocked out of Nino’s body. “It’s ridiculous but I suppose I should be thankful.”

“Fe...Felix?!”

The blood ran down his chest, staining the blue tie Felix had chosen because it was Nino’s favorite color. “Oh,” he said, voice dreamy. “That’s right. I don’t know how I forgot...” He slowly looked down as he brought a finger up to touch the blood soaking into his shirt and tie. “I’m dead.”

Nino sat up with a jerking gasp. His skin was cold and clammy and the room was pitch dark. A gut-wrenching sob tore its way out of his throat and he doubled over in pain. Someone was screaming Felix’s name and he wanted them to stop. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried and ignored the hands and arms and bodies that surrounded him. Once his throat felt raw, he realized he’d been the one screaming. That made sense then. Someone was holding him.

Felix...

“It’s okay,” a voice soothed shakily and the hold around him tightened. “We’re here, Nino. It’s okay.”

Not Felix.

Adrien. 

That was Adrien. It had to be. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes but he let his stiffened body relax fractionally. Of course it had to be Adrien. It couldn’t be Felix. Felix was...

“We’ll make him pay,” another voice promised, low and hard and full of truth.

Nino took in a shallow breath and knew it was Marinette and with the tiny flicker of hope he had left, he believed her.

____________________________________

Felix stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling of the guest bedroom and ignored Xander’s snoring on the other side of the bed. He kept seeing Nathaniel’s surprised expression when the Fae magic hadn’t miraculously cured him. As if a dip in a warm pool was going to give back everything he’d lost.

He closed his eyes and thought of Nino. He felt the folded paper he held in his palm like a heavy thing. He’d gotten to leave with one item of importance and that was only because he always kept it on him, tucked in his vest pocket. He realized his original clothes had been left at Bridgette’s but that seemed of little importance now. He had the only thing that mattered anyway. 

The note was old, the folded edges worn smooth with age. The ink had faded but that didn’t matter. Felix was still able to read the words well enough and even if he couldn’t, he had them memorized. 

“Someday is what keeps me going.”

Felix wasn’t sure what it was about that note that had made him keep it on his person all these years. It was from their earliest times together when Gabriel had attempted to force them apart and they used Adrien’s books to send messages. There had been more notes and letters with professions of love that seemed better suited as keepsakes but he’d never been able to let this one go.

“Someday is what keeps me going.”

He remembered what it felt like to read it for the first time and realize that there was finally someone who understood him, finally someone who made sense. In a world of people who wanted to use him or kill him, there was someone else who hoped for the someday that would make things different.

“Someday is what keeps me going.”

If he’d had any more tears, he felt certain they would’ve come but he had nothing left to give.

Someday...

What was the point of holding on now? Nino was gone. His family was gone. His home was gone. There was nothing left.

The small flicker of hope inside him refused to die though and with an exhausted sigh, Felix rolled onto his side, bringing his hand up to his chest as the paper crinkled softly with the motion. 

He would keep going because someday was still out there. And maybe somehow, he would actually get to it, if not for himself, then for Nino.

Just for Tonight

Before Just for Tonight drabbles

Buy me a cherry coke?

[ifeveristoday]

you are the vessel and she’s the life

Okay. When I first read issue #3, I did not like it. The art continues to be amazing, the colors glorious and they add to the atmosphere of the Hellmouth world - but I felt at first read, this was a weaker installment for the non-movement of the plot. If Hellmouth was a longer arc, I would have less issues because Jordie & Jeremy are developing Buffy and Angel, and giving the space for the audience to learn more about them, just as other characters are being brought into the spotlight for the namesake comics. I want to learn more about Kendra, Jenny, Fred, Gunn, et al. But it’s also a valid criticism that Buffy was missing from her story, long before Hellmouth began.

To compare Buffy (the intellectual property) to another cultural juggernaut for a minute - Star Wars. The reboots, the prequels, the ever-expanding universe - it’s all Star Wars, no matter what fans may feel about certain portions of it. But I see a lot of the same argument leveled at the Boom!verse that I do about Star Wars - ‘it doesn’t feel like ________________’, or  ‘that’s not my Buffy.’ I’ve certainly done my fair share of completely ignoring/complaining about the Dark Horse ‘canonically approved’ verse, so I get it. And I think just by the nature of a reboot, there are so many expectations, especially when you use the same characters. And IMO, Jordie and co. have been doing an admirable job of balancing their version of Sunnydale vs. memories/nostalgia of the TV canon. 

The point is to remake something for a new audience while respecting the source for the ‘original’ (whatever that means) fans. And it’s such a rich world with many characters to play with, and lots of different ways to explore themes that the show didn’t, or botched/dismissed. It’s a daunting experience to adapt, I’m sure - and I’ve been enjoying reading what Jordie has been doing with character development and the emotional beats of a story. The characters do feel like they exist in 2019.

However, with this issue, I felt like there was retread/not enough of a building on the momentum that Issues 1 and 2 had, along with a last-minute feel of a brand new original character, and some in-jokes that didn’t really add anything. This was my first reaction. Then I read it again, and with the other Hellmouth issues.

Major spoilers underneath the cut.

Back to my earlier point about Buffy being missing from her story - we still don’t know very much about Buffy’s backstory but that was never the point of her character, she was always very much in the now. The earlier issues had her in full Slayer mode with little intervals of an awkward, uncertain teenager! Buffy, and the last time she gets to hang out and do teenager things, Xander gets turned. And we didn’t really see the fallout in terms of Buffy’s feelings about it - but we did get very much appreciated insight into Willow and Xander’s characters. 

Then Buffy flings herself into the Hellmouth, after feeling estranged from Willow and dealing with a lot of unspoken guilt/shame. Oh no, not like TV Canon Buffy at all. 

However, the break from the Scoobies and entering the Hellmouth brought out Buffy Summers in all her confused, messy, intense bravery. Here was the girl who quipped malapropisms, made up sassy nicknames and leaped into the fray, fists first. And here was the girl who’s self-aware that her impetuousness and desire to save people also hurts the people she loves because she pushes them away - both out of necessity and because it’s her job. It’s a common refrain throughout the run of the series, emphasized by Giles and repeated by Buffy - she has to do this, and often alone - she’s the first responder in the apocalypse.

Heroine complex, man.

And then she meets LA’s finest, the dark knight, Mr. Hunchy Shoulders Guy - Angel. I’ve said it before, Bryan Edward Hill’s decision to have Angel meet Buffy cold, with an already established backstory of his own and then Jordie carrying that over into the Hellmouth event really changes the Buffy and Angel dynamic in the Boom!verse. A welcome change, and then when the portents/prophecies kick in, Angel dismisses them completely. His no-nonsense, I’m just here to do a job and then I’m out mode is amusing to me, because obviously, this is going to end up in romantic comedy land, just with a higher body count and lots of blood.

Buffy and Angel in TV canon never really got that light-hearted, getting-to-know-you phase because there was always the pall of forbidden love/gothic angst/and willful misunderstandings on both parties, never mind the interference/concerns and complaints from the people who loved them.

In Hellmouth, not only do Buffy and Angel get developed as characters, so does their budding ‘work’ friends relationship. Their banter is just delightful to read, and they get to be vulnerable/honest (to a point) with each other, that they haven’t been able to do so with their respective friends. And as they’re fighting demons and tracking down Drusilla, it creates an understandably sudden bond that most likely wouldn’t have happened above ground. They’re the only ones who can stop the forces of evil and cover each other’s backs.

Except for the undead elephant in the room, that has been in the room since Angel first appeared in Sunnydale -

Angel is a vampire. Angel witnessed Drusilla attacking Xander -- and did nothing to stop it.

And he knew it was Drusilla and Spike.

That lie comes back to majorly haunt his ass in Issue #3. Drusilla gleefully tells Buffy that he saw the whole thing, and also he has this whole other name, Angelus, which Buffy completely mishears and then rounds on Angel, asking him pointedly if they need a moment, or can she do the job she’s here for.

The revelation that Angel didn’t stop Xander’s turning naturally pings Buffy’s anger defenses and she tells him actually, no, we’re not friends, you don’t know me (even though I vented my guts out to you and you know I’m a slayer and you give weird pep talks to try to make me feel better -- Issues 1 & 2) - and I think besides the fact that Angel stood by and did nothing, it’s also that he didn’t tell her. Angel not telling Buffy important things, lying by omission basically, breaks their fragile alliance. 

But it’s not until the second lie.

Something that has been driving me nuts since the first issue is that Angel hasn’t revealed his Vampire self to Buffy. There’s different levels to the relationships Angel has cultivated so far in the Boom!verse - with Fred and Gunn, he’s an ally (reluctant on Gunn’s part) and a friend (Fred) and he’s upfront with them that he’s a vampire. But with Buffy, who is going to be a major part of his life (if any of the previous portents and prophecies are to go by), he holds off/and hides his vampire self. And the question is why? Buffy already has a friend who has a Vampire side, but Xander’s a special case because he can still pass as human. 

And it’s humanity that pops up in this issue - I knew it was coming, due to Boom’s wildly spoilery summaries/previews, but the way it was delivered?

Auggie - I know he has a full demon name but I’m not typing it out - and I think his name is also derived from Augury which means an omen/sign of what will happen in the future, seemed out of place to me. I mean, okay having a hell hut in the middle of the Hellmouth is whimsical and not completely out of the realm of the Buffyverse tone, and demons just trying to demon with no ambition to destroy the world is always nice to see - I just felt the introduction of him was too McGuffiny. There already was a figure who could see into the future (two of them, if you count Fee Fee from Angel’s first issue, except she disappeared into the plot hole where women characters go in that issue) and the initial one who set Angel on this path: Lilith. 

Having Angel strike up a random conversation with an essentially magic demon eight ball when he could have been searching for Buffy or Drusilla felt like an unwelcome departure from the main story. Yes, the revelation that Angel could achieve humanity through some terrible ritual is important, but also - do you believe a demon who’s making a stew out of unidentifiable parts in the middle of the Hellmouth and just casually drops that information? 

Read the room, Angel. It’s probably a trap.

Back to the A-story, Buffy thinks the Cthulu shape-shifter demon is back when she sees the vision of the guys in her life attacking the women - Giles and Jenny, Eric and Joyce, and Xander and Willow.Just as the Demon Joyce taunted her about her absence causing more havoc than help, the Demon men call her out Greek Chorus style - Giles says, “Sunnydale burns, Sacrifice.” Xander tells her, “But we can stop all this. The mother awaits you.”Eric says, “Come. End this suffering.”

Buffy accuses Dru of orchestrating this, and she laughs and tells her, “This is the hellmouth. Adapt, won’t you? It’s adapted to you....these are your people. This your nightmare.”

Buffy denies it coming true, and Dru tells her that it may yet come true - and she’s left Sunnydale defenseless. A slayer without her friends. There are fouler things than beasts, above. There are men.

Who have become the puppets of the unseen Hellmother.

So Drusilla was a red herring, a pawn in the game of Evil Chess. And this bums me out because Dru as a tangible villain/opponent is more interesting to me than another shadowy doom voice from the ether. Hellmother? Really?

This is where the reboot kind of loses me - Buffy’s greatest villains have been the ones who were personal to her, not as in just wanting to kill her, but an active part of her life. Dru (and by extension, Spike) in the Boom!verse would qualify because of what she did to Xander and threatening her mother. Dru being the front of a disembodied voice (that probably will take form in the next two issues) is a letdown. It’s the First Evil again.

The side effect of the men being turned into malevolent goons - okay, that is scary, but are we talking the Pack/Billy scary? (aka not very good episodes of either show because they either pulled punches or handwaved consequences)

Buffy teams up with Drusilla, which was unexpected, but at this point in the game, Buffy doesn’t have that many options. Her friend is missing (and it’s telling that even though she was hurt by the knowledge Angel did nothing to prevent Xander’s turning, she still refers to him as a friend to Drusilla. It might not be true forgiveness, but she was willing to move on, just for the sake of finding him and working to stop this mess.) And she keeps on reminding herself, these demons are not her friends, and are not real.

Which brings us to the final act - in more ways than one. Angel gets ambushed by a bunch of orc looking vampires, and finally goes Not Today, Satan on them.

And of course Buffy spots him on a mound of corpses, in full vamp face.

As much as I’m disappointed with the way Angel’s vampirism is revealed, it had to happen, and I have to admit, those last pages and panels are incredibly vivid and affecting.

Angel’s outstretched human hands covered in blood?

Buffy’s disbelief and then hardened look of disgust and her, “Don’t touch me.”

Goddammit.

Jordie and Jeremy have specific repetitions that I find interesting in terms of character development and where I think the plot is going -

Friends - the potential loss of them, the making of them, who to trust and how personal actions always have a consequence in relation to friends - Buffy is down on herself because she pushes people away and tried to lone wolf and it always, always blows up in her face, so this new thing with Angel is Buffy trying something new - trusting the other person so she can trust herself (because even though Willow and Xander are helpful and her besties, Buffy still can’t fully trust them with the fighting of evil because of her Slayer nature and belief that it’s her sole responsibility. She’s never had friends like that before. Angel has an equivalent strength to hers and already knows the evil game.)

So this issue blowing up all those tentative friend bridges? 

Fucking painful. Because now it feels like Buffy was right - she can’t trust Angel, he’s not a friend, because why would he lie? Why didn’t he stop Drusilla? They clearly have a history. Has he been in on this from the beginning?

Buffy is alone, again.

And Angel? Who the fuck knows. Buffy has become important to him in a short amount of time, and it still needs to be addressed why he did nothing to save Xander. He was already on the saving gig, and was it because he knew Spike and Dru that he let it pass out of...familial bonds?  That still doesn’t jibe with what he’s atoning for now. 

As always, thanks to @jenny-calendar for being there for me to figure out all these fiddly parts. I still think this is the weakest issue of Hellmouth, and I’m not as confident as I was before in thinking it’ll be wrapped up neatly in the last two issues - but I hope this doesn’t signal the end of crossovers, and that the relationship wherever it goes, continues to develop over both of their lines. But I dislike it less on reread.

And Buffy better make an appearance in Ring of Fire, damn it.

AND WHERE IS CAMAZOTZ?