#and was fine and happy to do whatever we were doing that day
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
onbanksofadragonriver · 14 hours ago
Text
Hey, so I was thinking about this, and then this post crossed my dash again and — bloody hell, Solas, a spirit of pride, ex-wisdom, the guy who refuses to LIE and approves of people looking for TRUTH, called the GOD OF LIES?
Tumblr media
* Disclaimer here — I haven't played the game myself, and I can only operate with what information I see on tumblr or youtube so take all this with a grain of salt.
It doesn't make any sense to me, why Solas, the professional rebel leader and trickster (but not exactly a liar!), who had been leading people against the evanuris for centuries, who had elves flocking to him at the end of Trespasser, is suddenly alone. I imagine that whatever the devs tell themselves happened to make Solas alone maybe also kinda broke his dedication to truthfulness, so in Veilguard he's angrily decided to, fine, he'll be the villain, he'll be the liar.
Anger and despair is a disastrous basis for any decision, but, coupled with the fragile state of the Veil and the enormous, debilitating sense of sunken costs, it could narratively explain the change in Solas. Like, he believes he's done such terrible things, he's caused so much pain and misery, he's (potentially) rejected his one chance at personal happiness, he's betrayed and killed his (toxically beloved) friend/mentor/lover? Mythal, so fuck it, why not become the liar and traitor they all expect him to be, as long as it gets the job done.
Rook talking to him, trying to help untangle that huge mess of guilt and despair would have been SO ON POINT in a game that takes its time off from saving the world to sort out the companions' personal issues. In case of Neve they make sense because making sure at least one part of the world is as safe as can be ties in with the larger objective, but picnics in the woods? Dinner with Taash's mum? Standard grave upkeep rituals that, for some reason, haven't been delegated to someone else while Emmrich is away? Not sure.
In DAI random fetch quests or even going out of your way for companion personal quests made more sense, because there's an entire army, a network of agents, a ton of correspondence with nobles doing the work of saving the world in the background, plus, Corypheus is, for long periods of time, working behind the scenes, instead of actively corrupting entire cities with Blight. But Rook has only themselves, and their companions to stop Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan. Everyone else is largely fending for themselves, or their immediate areas. Every day counts!
But they do. The entire message of the game seems to be: the past is the past; what matters is who we are here and now.
So why not LISTEN to Solas? On the one hand, there are Solas' memories and the possibility to get Morrigan's or Mythal's input on why Solas is doing what he does but there is precious little in-depth interaction and actual listening to Solas himself. Finding out what happened, why is he alone, where did all the agents go? Why is no one helping him? What exactly was the plan? What went wrong in the first place, because Mythal didn't want him to put up the Veil, it was a mistake, it was not meant to happen. (I also have a question, who the hell were the Evanuri's fighting and why have the devs forgotten the Forgotten Ones; did their prison in the Void hold better than the one Fen'Harel made for the Evanuris??)
Anyway, imagine if the good and kind person Rook is kinda forced to be due to the game dialogue and choices — someone who didn't know Solas before, someone who knows from the start who Solas is and what he has done; someone who was only meant to stop him, based on Varric's stories and extended friendship — this person STILL listens. This person STILL considers his side of the story. (and maybe then stabs him in the back but - it has been an informed decision, Solas should approve)
I think there are certain parallels with Anders, who tried everything he could to improve the situation of mages, before he ran out of options and blew up the Chantry. So did Solas fight the Evanuris for centuries, before he came to the conclusion that only a Fade prison would stop them. Anders didn't want to get Hawke involved, and Solas didn't want to involve the Inquisitor. The difference is that DA2 clearly showed how the Templars and the Chantry abuse the mages, Kirkwall was a brutal game in that regard, even if it still pretended to play with the idea that maybe Templars/Circles/Chantry are right. The result was the same regardless of how the player went about it and what he believed in — Anders blew up the Chantry and Hawke was banished from Kirkwall.
So I wonder what deliciously disastrous emotional fallout we were robbed of — if Rook could listen to Solas, if they were given an in-game opportunity to believe in his cause, take his side in bringing down the Veil. And THEN (for sake of future games' continuity) Rook finds out the 'safe plan' is not gonna work after all and has the option to either talk down or betray Solas :)))
Something something. Making Solas a liar in Veilguard actively brings back a problem they fixed working on Inquisition.
On December 20 2019 VGS posted an interview with Trick Weekes about their work on Solas. This whole sentence is a link so its large enough for mobile but also disclaimer this is before they changed their name so deadname warning.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Here's a transcription I found here which is where i took the screenshots above. Since I know not everyone has 40 minutes to listen to an online radio interview.
I however highlighted the main point since most of you are not reading the screenshots anyway but skimming through. Rant under Read-more. Also bc i try to not be too negative on people's dashs but also i wanna ramble some more.
"But he lied a lot more. And it really weakened his character."
You can tell this happened during the game. Solas lies only once within Inquisition. He says something he can't be vague about and you push him so he lies, badly. He usually tells the truth vaguely. Typically Solas lies no more than Blackwall.
I fully believe that if in Inquisition your inquisitor figured out that Solas was Fen’harel and asked him bluntly to his face he'd confess. He might even be impressed. But why would you ever start to think that. No one assumes that their coworker is actually Poseidon regardless of how much they love the beach and ocean.
He hides in your expectations.
You can't ask him about being an ancient elf or being Fen'harel of myth because those aren't very probable. They're astronomically low to be truth within that universe. And outside, no one finished DA2 and went i wonder if one of our next companions is the Dread Wolf. Sera said, impossible things can't be surprises. He doesn't have to lie so when the truth comes out it's becomes obvious on a second playthrough.
They then actively bring back a problem they fixed in Inquisitions development. That they were open about fixing. That having a character that outright lies to you makes you have no intention of even hearing out the character. It retroactively undercuts Inquisition bc i see people trying to find Solas' lies in it when they aren't going to find any beyond the court intrigue.
It undercuts any lore we do get from Solas bc people dismiss it outright as being a lie from Mr "I abhor blood magic". I feel like shaking people's shoulders like no, dont do it.
They retconned him guys i have proof from 2019.
And its like if you hate Solas is this even satisfying? Like that's not Solas. His motivations are gone (that's a whole other post) and so is his core personality trait. It's like they went here's the Dreadwolf but during the ten years they replaced the smug asshole who was insufferably right with a 20 yo senior chihuahua that doesnt have any teeth.
My favorite villains are those that tell the truth. Because nothing hurts more than the truth. Can you imagine if he told you the truth. If he told you horrible things that you dismissed as lies to only be true. Wouldn't Varric’s death have more weight if he told you Varric was dead only for you - for everyone - to see him in the Lighthouse. If it was a spirit who took his shape to help you or even because it saw something worth reflecting in your memories.
So you dismiss him until it's revealed near the end oh he was telling the truth and you have an oh shit maybe he was right about other things but its too late to try and stop any of the truths he told you which could be from allies/companions betraying to stuff about Ghilan'nain and Elgarnan.
Like the only way to redeem Solas was to listen to him and by going out of your way to address problems he sees and you can find the alternative to tearing down the Veil by a series a little puzzle pieces throughout the game.
Have it be he will only listen to you if you listen to him. That he'll reject your other solution bc why the hell would he trust you if you couldnt extend the same.
Like Solas couldve been a great villian and he should've been great for both the haters and those that liked him. Not only the romance but for those who became his friend. Like i keep coming back to if i hated Solas would i be satisfied with Veilguard.
And the answer is no because that isnt Solas.
Tricking him has no weight bc he's an idiot in Veilguard like not even in the ending bc doesn't notice you switch the dagger around like right in front of him but none of his actions make sense. Ppl have mentioned the regret prison makes no sense for Elgarnan and Ghilan'nain bc they don't have regrets.
Attacking Solas has no weight because he literally needs the shit kicked out of him by a dragon for it to even begin to work. They literally need him to be at deaths door before its realistic that Rook could take him in a fight.
Redeem has no weight bc of the massive retcons to his motivations. They had to retcon the post credits scene bc even if Flemythal went hey i don't want you to do this Dai Solas wouldve went okay but that doesnt solve my other problems with the veil including the corruption of spirits and the fact its in literal shambles so i guess is still coming down.
I'm just disappointed. By the end of Trespasser they had a great villian and they just tossed it to the side and reverted him and people are arguing about a character who's sole defining trait in Veilguard is a problem they solved before Inquisition launched.
Basically we can sum it up with a screenshot.
Tumblr media
467 notes · View notes
frozenjokes · 3 days ago
Text
tall claims court!
convex week day 4 - gift/prank - prev/next
@convexweek if I name drop the prompt in the end it counts right
“So you see, your honor, this sun is unworthy of his position in such a high value system, and I believe that the rest of this hearing should leave you and the jury thoroughly convinced!” Scar made a little flourish with his hand at the end of his opening statement, which Cub thought was stupid, but all of Scar’s opening statement was stupid, so this wasn’t a huge surprise.. but the judge, Bdubs, seemed to enjoy it regardless. This was going to be a long day.
At least Mumbo’s response was strong, even if Cub was only half listening. Mumbo was nearly as confident a speaker, and the things he was saying actually made sense, so that helped! Cub felt the need to emphasize that he literally hadn’t done anything, but whatever.
The other half of Cub’s splintered focus was on Scar, just sitting at his place in the stand, regarding Mumbo with more attention and respect that Cub was giving his own lawyer.
“Despite his rocky exterior and curt dealing with the moons in his system, my client has done nothing deserving of this drastically out of proportion proposed sentencing.”
When Mumbo sat down, Cub was still looking at Scar. Mumbo elbowed him and Cub jumped, a few sparks flying from his shoulders.
“What?”
“Stop ogling the prosecutor.” Mumbo hissed under his breath, to which Cub responded at a normal volume, no need to whisper.
“I’m not.”
Judge Bdubs glanced their way, but said nothing as the court was passed back to Scar, the moon introducing his first witness. Cub had no idea who this ‘witness’ was, not by name or face, and he assumed this would likely be a trend. Whoever they were, though, they did not look happy with Cub. Scar prompted them to begin.
“I was a Mars moon, one of the two orbiting that planet, and I was having some interpersonal issues with the other moon, with few places to go. We just didn’t get along, and I was feeling lost, anxious, and while I would have loved to visit Earth, I just felt too anxious to be in such proximity to other life. I was in a bad way. So I went to Cub.” The moon turned their frosty glare to Cub, which took him a second to notice with how intently he’d been staring at Scar, but then he remembered he didn’t care, and continued his Scar-gazing.
“Cub doesn’t have to leave the sun to watch the Earth, I never knew what kind of magic made that possible, but I thought this could be a solution for me, a break from the other moon, and a less anxiety inducing way to witness the life I’d worked so hard to be able to see. Cub was civil, I guess, when I first visited the sun. I’d never met him before, I didn’t know what to expect. I told him exactly how I was struggling and what I wanted, but he was always more concerned with the moons, that everything was okay on Mars, and the other moon was doing their job and not how the two of us were getting along. Mars was fine, the moons were fine, everything was fine, but when I told him that, he just stared at me and asked what the problem was. I told him! I had run him through it several times! I was sent back to Mars before I could even ask about his alternate Earth viewing station.”
“From there, everything was worse. When the other moon found out I’d gone to Cub, they were furious, my anxiety was debilitating, and I was desperate, I just needed an escape. When I tried to go back to the sun, explain what was happening, Cub was nothing short of foul. He extended no pity, no empathy, was frustrated with me for bothering him, for asking for something so stupid when I could just go to Earth with no issue, and I felt my position was threatened when his concern lied only in how well I could perform my guardianship of my moon. After spending decades working towards that position, I didn’t even last another month. I never got to enjoy the Earth, and only got berated for issues outside of my control.”
Scar nodded to his witness when they finished, turning his gaze to Cub. “Now, I would just like to know if the defendant has anything to say about this. It was a long time ago after all, maybe he’s changed his point of view.”
Cub rolled his eyes and made Mumbo tensed, kicking him under the table, which, everyone probably saw. Deny deny deny.
“I am the guardian of the Earth system. My first priority is ensuring every moon, planet, and star are being properly and competently cared for. I have no other obligations, especially for asinine requests. No life on Earth knows we exist, you don’t have to bother me every time you want to see it, you can just go, that’s so stupid-“
“My client has nothing else to say!” Mumbo cut in, but Scar looked pleased nonetheless. Luckily, Mumbo had a lot of reasonable smart things to say to the jury, so Cub didn’t have to, and even after a seemingly endless amount of mostly benign accounts from moons Cub barely remembered, Cub felt very little like he was on the back foot here. Maybe Scar’s goal was truly just to waste his time. He certainly kept throwing smug looks back after each of his exaggerated flourishes.
But in the end, Cub was just bored. There was nothing better than doing fuck all on his own sun, but it was cold and Cub couldn’t just space out because people kept talking at him and getting mad and telling him to stop staring at Scar, but Scar was the most interesting thing to look at in the room, and if Cub was going to be subjected to this much bullshit, he might as well rest his eyes.
And then all the fire in the courtroom flared with a loud fwoosh, then burnt away into nothing, embers floating to the ceiling and promptly dying, leaving the entire room in complete darkness.
Something clicked, and Cub was suddenly blinded, squinting at the bright light assaulting his vision. There was another spotlight across the room, centered on Scar. Cub threw Mumbo an alarmed look, but his lawyer looked just as surprised.
A dim light faded in over the judge’s stand, Bdubs’s imposing form illuminated in his raised position overlooking the court room.
“I’ve noticed..” the judge drawled his words, making sure he had the attention of every single star and moon in the courtroom. “Some tension abound.” Bdubs looked from Cub to Scar and back to Cub again, which was weird and annoying.
“You’re being weird and annoying.”
At the same time Mumbo elbowed him, Bdubs grinned, not without menace. “It’s not your turn to shine yet, Cub, so why don’t you simmer down before another strike is added to the board.”
Cub looked up, the ‘strikes’ above his head illuminating once more. He had four, three from talking out of turn and one from a brief scuffle between Mumbo and Scar, but both of them had gotten a strike for that, then got dropped into The Pit for a brief twenty minute recess. In Cub’s defense, Scar also had two additional strikes, it wasn’t like it was exactly hard to get them. If Cub’s side got five.. well, Cub didn’t know exactly what would happen, but he was a little bit afraid of Bdubs and didn’t particularly want to find out.
“Comment revoked.”
“Thank you.” Bdubs sat up a little straighter, pleased. “Now! Let’s play a game called Will They Won’t They!” Scar groaned, head hitting the desk, and Cub was almost certain he’d get a strike for that, but Bdubs was too intent on explaining his game.
“Now, unless I’m mistaken, and I’m never mistaken, it seems to me that kindled passion burns bright in one of our contestants tonight, and the other; heart burned and scorned so many times before, still shows interest despite it all..”
Scar sat up suddenly, flakes of frost flying from his hair, “Objection! Bdubs, will you stop trying to set me up with the criminals on the other side of the stand? I don’t know how to explain to you that this is possibly the worst place for me to find a partner, especially if that star is the asshole I dragged here in the first place!”
“Ah, yes, yes, young love.. You say you can’t stand them, yet you’re always bringing the same kinds of stars back to my courtroom, I see you, Scar, I see you.”
“I’m a criminal prosecutor!”
“Objection dismissed. It seems to me, Cub’s got the eye for you too. What say you, Cub?”
“I’m confused.” Cub looked to Mumbo, but Mumbo seemed nearly as resigned as Scar as did distressed. “I’m confused,” he said again, to Bdubs this time. The judge was no less radiant.
“He’s confused..” Bdubs spoke slyly, like this was some grand reveal, “Now, is he playing coy, or does he really not know..”
“Is this part of the trial?” Cub tried, strained. He didn’t like all this attention, he didn’t like standing out so much, it had been a long time since he’d been in a courtroom, but he didn’t remember this.
“Ogling was the word Mumbo used, and I think it suits your behavior over the course of this trial quite impeccably, don’t you think, Scar?”
“You know, I thought he was into me too for a very short couple of minutes, but I really think he’s just stupid.”
“What?” Cub bristled, caring very little for the way Mumbo tensed up. “I’m not- I’m not into you, where would anyone have gotten that impression?”
Bdubs knit his fingers, squinting at Cub with a great scrutiny. “If I thought this star had any capacity at all to play coy, I would be greatly suspicious right now. Maybe he is stupid. He just doesn’t know he’s in love with you.”
“That is not what I meant!” Scar hissed, while Cub just sat there, dumbfounded.
“Do no one else’s eyes hurt, like, all the time? My eyes were so tired I didn’t even know it until they got a break, I don’t even know why his insides are so black, but I refuse to believe that no one else here’s eyes aren’t constantly drawn to the dark.” There was some murmuring among the crowd, faint discussion that seemed to come to the conclusion of yes, Cub was the only person in the room who had this problem. Great.
“Irrelevant!” Bdubs declared, drawing the attention back to himself. “Now everyone in the stands, the jury, witnesses, everyone, please look under your seats where you will find three cards; they will! they won’t! they could! I am going to introduce the contestants, and on the count of three, the audience will decide their fate! Are you ready?”
The silence was deafening. One star in the back gave a small pity whoop.
“Great!” Bdubs clapped his hands together, having no qualms with the lack of enthusiasm from the crowd. “On the right we have the civil hero, actor for justice with a mysterious past rivaling the dark side of the moon, Scar!”
A few small, if not hesitant claps followed this up.
“On the left with have Cub, the infamous Earth sun, a light in the dark, but certainly not for most moons in his system, though, our hero seems to have caught his attention, and on a journey of love and acceptance, the two of them might just make each other more fulfilled celestials..”
Silence.
“What do ya say? Will they, or won’t they!?”
The dark walls of the courtroom suddenly ignited, flame greedily swallowing up the cold that had drafted in, its light revealing the opinion of the entire courtroom. ‘They won’t!’ Unanimously, except for Bdubs, who was holding a ’They could!’
“Great.” Scar seethed through gritted teeth, firmly setting his ‘They won’t!’ card face down on the desk, “Can we get on with it now.”
“Ah, yes, the sentencing!” Bdubs declared, and it was probably lucky for Cub that Bdubs couldn’t hear Mumbo’s WHAT over the sound of his own voice, or they might’ve gotten their fifth strike.
“I- Objection? Objection, your honor!” Mumbo gathered himself, though Bdubs looked less than interested, “The jury haven’t even decided whether or not Cub is innocent or guilty, how can we just move to the sentencing?”
“This is my court mister Mumbo, and in my court, anything goes! Anything I want that is. And I want the Earth system to be open!”
Cub’s heart dropped. What!?
“Cub, sun of the Earth system, for your crimes of negligence and unnecessary cruelty to the moons in your system, past and present, you will be sentenced to one Earth month of complete accommodation for any moon, star, or planet that wants see life on Earth.”
“I- I can’t do that, I literally can not do that.” Cub whipped around for any kind of support, but it seemed every single celestial in attendance was greatly excited by the idea of visiting a life system that had been so exclusive for so long. “Your honor, I have these strict entrance guidelines in place for a reason. Just because most life forms can’t see us, doesn’t mean we don’t exert energy- a lot of energy, heat especially- Cramming a trillion celestials in the Earth system would destroy it, and if you think that number is an exaggeration, you would be wrong. But even with smaller numbers- life is sensitive, I could not possibly sustain the kind of parade you are suggesting without massive consequences.”
Bdubs considered Cub thoughtfully, but hoping was a mistake, Bdubs’s eyes narrowing in keen interest. “This is true, I know. But you aren’t the only sun in charge of a life-system, and nearly all accommodate some kind of visitation. The number of celestials a life-system can accommodate without affecting the atmosphere isn’t anything to scoff at either, and many have already dug into the metrics of your own system, Cub, despite your continued insistence that it is more fragile than what is reality. I will have these numbers double and triple checked, then halve it, and that will be the final tourist population you will be accommodating. I can assure you, no life will be harmed. But I think you already knew that.”
Oh god. Oh god.
But Bdubs wasn’t finished.
“Additionally, I understand it’s been many, many years since your initial training, and that’s a lot to forget, truly it is. You seem to have forgotten how to act, and we can’t have anything but the best for your future visitors, yes? Your sun training aids will be reinstated, and I am personally appointing Scar to supervise. You will be delivered the dates personally, and be included in all planning meetings to ensure this goes smoothly.”
Cub felt his blood run cold. He wanted to speak, argue, but his voice seemed to have left him completely. This- This had to be some kind of prank or some- some- he didn’t know! He opened his mouth to try and negotiate- anything, he’d take it all, he’d take the whole universe in his system, but not the training aids. He couldn’t do that again.
No words left him.
Cub looked to his right, stunned. Scar was smiling.
29 notes · View notes
pointy-pup · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Took to her first real trip like an absolute champ! We spent a week hiking, napping, and reading with a dear dear friend, and Luna was an angel for the entire ride.
Even behaved well around the fire, and when she decided she was done, asked to be let back into the cabin where she put herself to bed <333
19 notes · View notes
yutamayo · 3 months ago
Text
omg the cute autistic/mutual friend at the party I was talking ab way back just moved into our building!!! I legit ran into him omw in and exchanged instas he is SO adorable and cute and I love him like I just wanna be around him so like tf I am SO HAPPY
#im not sure the post is even still up but me n my friends were just having a casual gettogether and i met him n my post was talking ab how#im glad no annoying autsitics have been introduced to me yet bc ive already met like 3 and theyre all either like#smart autistics or adorable autistics or interesting autistics and i have a crush on two of them including the cute autistic this post is ab#like im so HAPPY omg im gonna bug him so much its weird bc idk what u call the type of crush where its like im not searching for romance#but i will do anything to be in ur prescense bc i know id enjoy being friends or partners or whatever the fuck involves KNOWING YOU#idk lol#yutamayo is starting the day off right (#(its 3:47pm)#at the party we were playing Detroit Become Human anf he seems to also be a hyperfixation/skilled autistic bc he SLAYED at the game i just#enjoyed watching him speedplay at that point#and everyone was ig close enough with him to call him by a semiracist nickname bc hes indigenous n his last name wad apparently too long#so i was like NOPE and made sure to spell it out and resay it so i could say his last name properly instead of his nickname#im noy shading them bc its fine to have a close friend thing where ur able to have a joking nickname ab a characteristic like my bestie#calls me “it” sometimes and thats not something i dislike bc we KNOW each other and its the opposite of malicious intent#but yeah i wad likr nah id prefer to know how to say it#then it was like 3am anf there was only like 4ppl left n he was like yeah i gotta go bavk home to whitby apparently he was just gonna#use the electric scooters they have around town but thats like 30min away in the mf a.m#n he didnt wanna crash on our couch which isfine n everyone else was like mkay bye bc yhey wanted to sleep#n i was like NOPE and hunted down bus fare n waited with him at the bus stop for the night bus n made sure he got on it then never saw him#again#until#today#god fucking bless#*introduced to 3 autistics not 3 annoying autistics the post was ab how im gkad i havent met an annoying autistic in my buikding yet*
5 notes · View notes
itsalwaysdark · 3 months ago
Text
its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
2 notes · View notes
astridthevalkyrie · 10 months ago
Text
feeling like you’re 12 when you’re 22 is genuinely such a humiliating experience.
#my dad and mom have been on my case ab asking for permission before I go places and it makes me kinda sick#seeing everyone around me make plans or whatever and then being like ‘I’ll have to ask 🥺 👉🏽👈🏽#’#and my dad’s a liar he’s like it’s not like we ever say no#except my mother does and so does he???#even the muslim girls I am friends with have more freedom and you know what’s amazing ab this is#they can’t stop me from going to school. they don’t pay for that#they can’t take my car. they don’t pay for that#my mom can stop making food for me and I will manage just fine#they wanna kick me out???? blessing in disguise#but it’s hilarious that as an adult i’m still paying for everything I use but I still have to ask permission genuinely fuck off#my parents when I have to stay late on campus for some school event: 😒#the way I’d be making money rn if they didn’t decide to come and stalk me at work and see me without my hijaab on#and that one’s on me I could choose to just work with it on and make them happy#but I literally can’t as a matter of principle#i’m given such little pride as it is and if I say I don’t want to work with a hijaab on that’s that#i got an internship two days ago for the summer and you can bet your ass I’m not wearing my hijaab#except it’s not paid#and as much as I have guilt spending I really don’t spend a lot and it makes me so angry#i know that your 20s isn’t your whole life and people shouldn’t think that if they waste their 20s their life is up#but it’s like#my teens were already so shitty and abusive and trapped#how much longer do I have to deal w this before i’m treated like an adult#trick question! it’s only until a man can own me bc then he can make my decisions instead of them <3
11 notes · View notes
insanechayne · 1 year ago
Text
~ ~ ~
#I have so much I want to say but nothing I can actually articulate#how do I make you see how much you’re hurting me? how do I make you see how much I love you at the same time?#you grew a conscience too little too late and I was left to hang for it#I keep trying to be who you want but it feels like there’s no version of me that will make you happy#and I feel the distance growing between us every day because of how you’re pushing me away#but still you’ll say everything is fine and I just have to accept things the way they are#it doesn’t matter what I say or do because everything I say/do is always wrong in your eyes#I’m always fucking things up somehow and making you angry#so it’s at the point where I just have to stifle my feelings and swallow my pride and try to keep you happy#do you remember how we became friends? you reached out to me to help me with my anxiety from a post you stumbled across#but I feel that now if I were to share any of those kinds of feelings with you I’d be mostly ignored or it would start another fight#how can you say you’re always supportive when there’s no way to talk to you when I really need you because you’re simply not here?#how can you be mad at me for wanting more time with you when there are days you only send me one message and nothing else?#and still the thought of losing you hurts so much that I’d rather just concede to whatever you want#I’d rather let you crush me and dictate how our whole relationship will go than see you walk away from me#I know that’s so unhealthy but I don’t care anymore because I just need you that much#I hate this stupid connection we seem to have and how we’re still so drawn to each other even when we’re hurt and angry#it would be so much easier if you were just some guy I could block#but you’re not because you’ve become my best friend and that in itself is so horribly pathetic it makes me sick#I just can’t get these thoughts out and so I feel sick and anxious and I just want to sleep this all away#how do I say any of this to you? i don’t think I could really#personal
4 notes · View notes
kateis-cakeis · 1 year ago
Text
You ever just think about how fanon is so firm in the BBC Merlin fandom that people (like I used to) go around believing Cenred's kingdom is called Essetir and that Odin's kingdom is Cornwall.
Or how like the wiki says Alined's kingdom is called Deorham and the Perilous Lands are Elmet. Which I'm pretty sure comes from that fannish map on AO3.
But that doesn't mean it's correct shfjgshdfg. These things are never said in the show
It's just using the wiki as a resource gets tricky when you have to dig through what is canon and fanon. Which is no fault of the wiki, that's completely fine. It's just amusing how much this fandom is built on fanon instead of canon.
Which makes sense for how long it's been around, with long held beliefs that get passed around us all. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just good to remind ourselves what is canon and what is fanon. Because it sure as hell shocks me sometimes :P :)
6 notes · View notes
radiotorn · 5 months ago
Text
FUCK!!! I NEED TO GO TO THE BEACH!!! FUUUUCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 notes
scentofpines · 10 months ago
Text
my sister broke up with her boyfriend for the second time 3 months ago and moved back in with us and now he's already visiting her again every weekend?? And she talks about him very adoringly ughhh this guy openly admitted to her that he doesn't like it when she is happy if he is not the cause for her happiness. He was mad at her for going out to work (besides her fulltime studying at uni) on weekends bc she didnt have "enough time" for him anymore but in the same breath complained that she didn't pay enough rent for her part of the house THAT HE DIDNT PAY A PENNY FOR bc he inherited it. Then he indirectly accused her of cheating on him bc she had a male friend help her move out of his house 3 months ago. And now it looks like they might get back together I'M GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND
1 note · View note
gojoest · 1 month ago
Text
curiosity — gojo satoru
Tumblr media
MDNI, f! reader, childhood friends to lovers, satoru is painfully aware of his own feelings while reader is not, mention of past girlfriends (and how they all looked like you), handjob (m! receiving), cumming in pants (and in your hand), not proofread, wc: 2k, dividers by @/cafekitsune
synopsis: gojo satoru is your childhood best friend. you’ve been inseparable ever since you were little. spending day and night together, you’d often have sleepovers together — a tradition you both carried on throughout your college years. at least once a week you’d drop by his dorm room and stay the night, or vice versa. but compared to your childhood days, you no longer share one bed. that is, until . . .
part 2
a/n: this is a further (and very lousy) elaboration on this post of mine but hey, HAPPY BDAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY
Tumblr media
“i think we should try sleeping together”, you suggest one night.
“wah—“, satoru gasps, a teasing glint in his eyes. “didn’t know you felt that way about me”, he smirks.
“just sleeping”, you quickly clarify. “whatever obscene thing you just thought of — it’s not that”, you add, giving him a roll of your eyes.
“you should pick your words more wisely”, he scoffs. “if you go around telling people you want to sleep with them, they will misunderstand”
“ugh”, you huff, “i obviously didn’t mean it like that, and you know it”
“yeah, i do”, he lets out a soft chuckle. he knew exactly what you meant, but still he disguised his wishful thinking behind a teasing remark. “why though? all of a sudden?”
“dunno”, you shrug. “just feeling bad that you always take the floor”
“if that’s the case we can just swap”
“no — i cherish my comfort. come on, we used to do this all the time”, you pout.
indeed you did. but you were kids back then, things were different.
his heartbeat would race and his face would get all hot and red, the heat would fester through his entire body. but when the lights were off it was easy to hide it, the signs that he liked you. after making sure you were fast asleep, he would hold your hand and childishly smile to himself, he would peck it softly, secretly. one time you woke up in the middle of the night and almost caught him but he, startled, kicked you off the bed. yelling at you, lying, how you pushed your finger in his nostril in your sleep… he was so embarrassed, but also relieved you believed what he said was true. his secret was safe.
but now?
when you stand too close to him his body starts acting up in more mature ways. while he is better at controlling his facial expressions now and hiding his nervous heartbeat behind a nonchalant attitude, he struggles with keeping his urges at bay. he’s no longer the boy that blushes while secretly holding your hand; he is a man who craves you.
even when he’s laid on the futon beside the bed you occupy, the sound of your breathing alone gets him hard. you lie there, sleeping innocently, unaware of how much of a pain in the crotch you are being to him. when you leave in the mornings, he climbs onto the bed that is soaked with your scent and shamelessly jerks off. he stands on his knees and sprays his load on the bedsheets. eyes shut close, he pictures you beneath him.
he sighs in defeat. “fine”
“the right side is mine — it’s only natural, because i am always right”, you snicker and quickly pad over to the bed, plopping your body down on the mattress. “sure”, he chuckles and follows after you, sinking himself right next to you.
it is a bit awkward, you must admit. you are laid on your sides facing each other, in silence.
it’s cramped indeed, your knees are brushing against his and the space in the middle separating your bodies from one another is very scarce. but that was to be expected, the beds in the dorm rooms were designed for one person after all.
“so”, you break the silence. “how’s your girlfriend doing?”
“she’s not my girlfriend, anymore”, he states dryly.
“but it’s been barely two weeks since you started dating”
“well, things didn’t work out i guess”
the girls he dated, all of them looked a bit like you. same height, same hair color and length. similar facial features… he never lasted long with any of them though. all of them, visibly bothered by your presence in his life, would too soon ask him to make a choice — either them or you. neither of them aware that he chose to be with them in the first place only because they reminded him of you, and that it was never the question itself that drove him away from them. it was bound to happen, sooner or later. they could never be you.
you hum. “i see”
as you shift to make yourself more comfortable, you feel the shirt he gave you to wear to bed roll up ever so slightly, revealing the bare of your belly. a bit self-conscious now that he’s next to you, you are immediately urged to cover yourself. you slide a hand under the blanket, rummaging around to get a hold of the hem, but oh...
…the back of your hand brushes against something stiff. the friction incurring a low pant from the man, your best friend, next to you.
“fuck”, satoru hisses. his hand clasps around your wrist, pushing it away, but along with the movement his knuckles graze the flesh of your stomach. “fuck”, he curses again.
“satoru”, you say his name, voice hushed and timid but there is a note of underlying curiosity he is way too familiar with.
this is exactly why he was avoiding the one bed scenario — his boners were too hard to hide at this age and this size of him.
“satoru”, you repeat. “are you hard?”
“i wish you didn’t ask the obvious”, he mumbles, embarrassed. warmth washing over his face uncontrollably, just like in the past. but there was a bigger problem now — down in his pants, and the fact he got caught.
“is it because of me?”
“no”, he clicks his tongue, his grip still tight around your wrist, keeping your hand at bay. “it’s because i didn’t jerk off tonight, you know — it’s a natural thing for us men to randomly pop a boner throughout the day”
…which was true. but it was not the case right now.
“can i play with it a little?”, you ask, sneakily twisting your wrist in an attempt to free your hand.
“oi!”, he yelps. “did you hit you head or what?”
“i am curious”, you blurt out. “just a little?”
“stop”, he warns. “it’s weird”
his resolve is hanging by a thread right now, you’re too cunning to tempt him like this. he knows things will get awfully messy between you if he lets you cross this line. but still, he can’t flat out deny you. deep down he wants you to persist, a little bit more… if you ask him one more time, maybe he’ll crumble. surely, he will.
“it’s not”, you reassure. “i won’t jerk you off, i’ll just touch it”, you explain. “please? just a little?”
well. fuck it.
“this is a bad idea”, he says, but loosens his grip around your wrist. “fine”, he mumbles. “but just a little”
you nod, pulling your hand away only to slide it down his body.
you’re not really sure why you were so happy to hear the news about his break-up, but you always felt more at ease when he belonged just to you. your best friend, and not someone else’s boyfriend. you don’t know why you were doing this right now, or why your heart was racing. maybe because it really was weird? or maybe you were just horny?
finding his cock wasn’t difficult, it sure stood out from the rest of his body.
“you really are hard”, you gasp, running your fingers across the bulge in his shorts, dragging out a throaty groan out of him.
“yeah”, he mumbles. “like i said, stop stating the obvious”
“it’s a bit wet here”, ignoring his words, you thumb the spot where his tip is, making him squirm. his body slightly jerks as you press your palm against it. cupping it inside your hand you squeezing it gently. “it’s warm too”, you keep exploring further. “it has a pulse”
satoru lets out a helpless whine. “you sound so dirty right now, it’s weird”
he’s longed for this type of intimacy with you for years. but in his head, he pictured it differently. it was him who was supposed to do things to you, not the other way around. he was supposed to be the confident one, delving into your layers, making you squirm and fall apart under his touch. not the other way around… but this was good too. too good for him to oppose it. you were his weakness, after all. you always have been. no matter how much he teased and picked on you, in the end he always let you do as you pleased. this was not an exception.
you giggle to yourself. “yeah? you like that new side of me, don’t you?”
“…maybe”
sneaking your hand through the front of his shorts and boxers, you feel the flesh of his cock directly. it was twitching, his tip slick with precum. you put the tip of your index finger on his slit and rub circles around it to smear the pre oozing out of it, getting another soft whimper out of him. the head of his cock all slippery now, urging you to rub it all over the rest of his length.
your fingers wrap around his cock as you start to move your hand up and down, slowly, smearing his own slick onto his own flesh.
he tries to swallow the moan stuck in his throat. “you said you were not going to jerk me off, but what now? you’re playing a bit too much, don’t you think?”
satoru can last long. under normal circumstances, that is. but having you — not just his hand, but you, his first ever love, his only love — touch him like that, he could barely hold back. the urge to bust has been there since the moment you put your hand on his cock.
“why? you gonna cum?”, you slip your hand lower, down to the base of his shaft — where his balls are. you caress them tenderly, incurring yet another soft groan from him, before you go back to stroking him again. with each drag you pick up the pace. the room is filled with the squelching sounds caused by your hand, at this point, confidently fisting his slick covered cock, and his heavy breathing. 
“hey”, he puts his hand on your cheek, softly pinching on it with his fingertips. an attempt to make you snap out of it, but alas — you don’t back away. “don’t regret this”, he whispers, almost beggingly. but his voice comes out too shallow for your ears to pick up on.
“are you close?”, you peek at him, watching his face with rapt fascination, grateful that you left the night lamp on.
never have you ever seen him like this. his cheeks so hot and flushed that his pale skin was lit completely red, up to his ears and his neck. beads of sweat across his forehead with strands of his hair stuck on it. mouth agape — huffing and puffing. his brows knitted, desperately. pleadingly. his mouth telling you to stop, yet his face told a different story. so did the part of him inside your palm. it made you throb, down there, and squeeze your thighs together. your own wetness spurting out from your slit, drenching the inside of your underwear”
“fuck—", he growls. “i am— c-close”, he stutters, struggling to control his breathing and the moans that roll out of his mouth.
you feel his cock twitch in your hand, differently. the pulse on it beating faster and more brashly, like it almost made his skin stretch and push against the flesh of your palm. and then, there was a delay. a few, very short seconds in which his cock stood still before violently exploding, pumping out a thick shot of cum. then some more, and more, and more — until the pouring turned into a light dribble toward the end.
“ugh”, he throatily groans, his body relaxing after oozing all the tension out. although slower now, you keep stroking him, running your fingers across his softening cock.
“oh wow”, you gasp, his cum sticky on your skin, drenching the space between your fingers. “what a mess”, you giggle.
“you’re trouble”, he sighs. “is your curiosity satisfied now?”
you nod.
“if you get curious about other things”, he pauses, scratching the back of his head, “come to me. don’t go to other men”
“i’ll think about it”, you smirk.
after that night, you stayed over for an entire week.
this little play time turned into routine, and you were no longer the only one playing.
Tumblr media
5K notes · View notes
chlopieno · 10 months ago
Text
.
vent ahead, sorry
#hey woo look it's missing my ex boyfriend hours!...#i was happy from breaking up for a minute and now im just so sad. i miss him he was my best friend since childhood and now#we havent spoken for month and half so far#it sucks so much i hate it here. i keep hoping hed reach out to me one day. not to date again but just not to pretend were strangers anymore#i wish i could tell him about my work. about dumb things my cat does. about dumb things i do.#i wish i could listen to him telling me whatever as long as its not hurtful. i wish i was better and didnt expect too much.#i wish my self esteem was higher so i wouldnt regret things i did that i was sure were best in the situation we faced.#i wish i were able to be more helpful and supportive. i thought i was and turns out it was received in an opposite way.#i wish i could send him memes or tell jokes or send uquiz links or picrews#i dont know when it all went wrong man i thought everything was good and everything was falling apart while i didnt even notice.#i hate how short it took to end 15 years of being friends. i hate how i cant even relate to his situation because mine is so similar yet#yet it affected us in such different ways. i hate i wasnt able to do more. i hate that he didnt do more.#i hate that im blaming him for things he has no say in. im angry at being helpless and unable to change anything.#i hate that he told me he loved me amd that he wanted to live with me and then broke up with me less than a month later.#i hate that i made him break up with me. i hate that i put so much hope and emotions and work in it and that he told me he cared#but it was me who was ready to go anywhere for him and do anything for him and it wasnt the other way.#i want to say so much and yell and cry and apologise and yell again but at myself this time and bash my head against the wall#i want to know that someone cares about me as much as i care about them. but it wasnt this relationship but he was my best friend#and i wish i could say that i wish we never dated but i dont because i was happy and i hoped we were happy together.#and every time i asked it was okay and fine and good until suddenly it hasnt been for months and i never knew because he never told me#and i know i cant read minds but i wish i was able to tell the signs. i wish i was less selfish. i thought he wanted what i want#but telling stories about living together and setting up furniture or having pets together was what i thought was for us but was for me only#and i didnt even know#i thought wed be friends forever. yes i thought wed live together as partners too but he was my best friend and i lost him and all i can do#is to cry about it.
0 notes
lizziesangel · 1 month ago
Text
RAFE CAMERON ⟢ high maintenance
x HIGH MAINTENANCE!FEM!reader ⟢ MASTERLIST
SUMMARY: 5 times rafe realises his girlfriend is high maintenance + 2 bonus scenes
WORD COUNT: 1286
GENRE: fluff
CONTENT WARNING: nothing
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the first time
it started when rafe picked you up for a casual day out, only to find you carefully examining your nails in the passenger seat.
“ugh,” you groaned, holding out your hand to show him. “can you believe this? this nail tech totally botched this set. the gems aren’t even symmetrical.”
rafe glanced at your hand, blinking in confusion. “they look… fine to me?”
you shot him a glare. “fine? they’re crooked, rafe. i can’t be seen like this.”
“whatever, i’ll just go to my monthly nail tech next time,” you shook your head.
“monthly? as in, every month?” he asked, leaning in his car seat.
“of course,” you said, flipping your hair as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “you can’t just let them grow out, rafe. that’s tacky.”
you kissed his cheek and went to connect your phone with his car. he thought about at meticulously done french tips you just had done two weeks ago. if it makes you happy, right?
Tumblr media
the second time
the first time he tried to make spontaneous plans with you was a disaster.
“hey, babe,” he said over the phone, “thinking we hit the beach today. i’ll be there in twenty.”
A horrified gasp escaped you. “twenty minutes? babe, no. i just had my hair done yesterday.”
“…and?”
“and? saltwater will ruin the toner!” you exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “do you even know how much a balayage costs?”
rafe didn’t know what a balayage was, but he learned quickly that your trips to the salon were not just occasional—they were events. events with price tags that could make a grown man cry. still, he couldn’t help but smirk as you swished your freshly done hair around dramatically during your next date
Tumblr media
the third time
when you asked rafe to come shopping with you, he thought it’d be a quick errand—maybe one or two stores, tops. he quickly realized his mistake when you pulled him into the fifth boutique, arms already laden with bags.
two hours and three swiped credit cards later, rafe sat on a plush bench outside the fitting rooms, holding more bags than he could count.
“this season’s prada bag is finally in stock,” you announced, practically dragging him into the store. “and i need something new for dinner with my parents.”
“don’t you already have a closet full of clothes?” he teased as you rifled through racks.
“yes, but these are the new trends,” you said without looking up. “and besides, i need something for dinner this weekend.”
he laughed, shaking his head. “you already have a hundred dresses.”
“and yet none of them are right for this,” you said, holding up a sleek black gown.
“you buy new clothes every month?” he asked, watching as you tried on yet another dress.
“obviously,” you said, rolling your eyes. “what do you expect me to do, repeat outfits?”
rafe had never thought about it, but seeing how happy you looked with your fresh haul, he just laughed. “good thing i’m strong enough to carry all this,” he teased.
Tumblr media
the fourth time
rafe was over at your place for a movie night when he spotted the lineup of perfume bottles on your dresser.
“do you seriously wear all of these?” he asked, picking one up.
“of course,” you said, settling onto the bed. “different occasions call for different scents. this one’s for daytime, that one’s for formal events, and this—” you pointed at another bottle, “—is my absolute favorite.”
rafe blinked. “you have a preference for perfumes?”
“well, duh. scent is everything. i buy a new one every season,” you say showing him a few. “like, this jimmy choo one is for summer, but this guess one is definitely for winter. but, the versace is for every season good.”
he squinted at the price tag on the one he was holding and let out a low whistle. “how often do you buy these?”
“whenever i run out or find a new one i love,” you said matter-of-factly.
rafe thought about his one bottle of cologne that he’d had for years and shook his head in disbelief. but when you leaned closer during the movie and he caught the faint scent of your perfume, he couldn’t deny that you always smelled amazing.
Tumblr media
the fifth time
waking up groggy, rafe stumbled what your walk-in closet while looking for the bathroom. What greeted him was a wall of shoes—heels, sneakers, boots, all perfectly organized by color and style.
“jeez,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.
“oh, you’re up!” you chirped, appearing behind him. “do you like it? i just added those Jimmy Choos last week.”
rafe turned to you, half-amused, half-shocked. “you have more shoes than i have shirts.”
you grinned, unabashed. “well, yeah. shoes complete the look.”
shaking his head, rafe pulled you into his arms. “you’re insane, you know that?” he said, though the affection in his voice betrayed him.
you smirked. “but you wouldn’t change a thing.”
he kissed your forehead. “not even if i wanted to.”
Tumblr media
+1
sarah and john b were lounging in the living room, casually catching up with rafe and you. you were perched on the arm of rafe’s chair, fiddling with your phone, when sarah suddenly leaned forward and sniffed the air dramatically.
“wait,” she said, scrunching her nose slightly. “what perfume are you wearing? it smells… expensive.”
you barely looked up, but rafe beat you to it. without hesitation, he leaned back and said, “probably something from her summer collection. she switches them every season.”
sarah froze, staring at her brother like he’d just announced he was running for president. “her what?”
rafe nodded casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “yeah, she’s into, like, jimmy choo or victoria’s secret or whatever. smells good, right?”
john b raised an eyebrow, looking between you and rafe. “dude, you know all her perfume brands?”
he shrugged, smirking as he kissed your temple. “gotta stay on top of it, man.”
sarah exchanged a wide-eyed look with john b, but you just beamed at rafe, completely unfazed.
Tumblr media
+2
rafe, topper, and kelcd were hanging out on the dock, beers in hand, waiting for you to finish getting ready for dinner. the two were deep in conversation about their latest antics when rafe’s phone buzzed.
he glanced at the message and smirked.
“she says she needs ten more minutes,” rafe said, pocketing his phone.
topper groaned. “bro, she takes forever. what’s even the holdup this time?”
“probably her nails,” rafe said nonchalantly, taking a sip of his beer. “she just got them done last week, and there’s no way she’s ruining them before dinner.”
kelce nearly spit out his drink. “what?”
topper leaned forward, eyes wide. “hold up—you know her nail schedule? and her hair appointments?”
“something to do with chrome nails, i dunno.”
“dude,” kelce finally said, breaking the silence. “you’re, like… domesticated.”
“and she’s got that fresh hair thing going on too,” he added, shrugging. “she just had an appointment like… two weeks ago? a balayage, she won’t let anything mess with it. saltwater, wind, whatever—she’s not about that life.”
topper and kelce stared at him like he’d grown a second head.
“what is a balgage?”
“no- a balayage.”
“how do you even know all that?” topper asked, baffled.
rafe frowned, genuinely confused by their reaction. “what do you mean? it’s just her routine. not that hard to keep track of.”
kelce laughed, shaking his head. “dude, you’ve got it bad. like, whipped bad.”
rafe rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the grin tugging at his lips. “maybe. but, hey, at least i get to date a princess.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
teaboot · 9 months ago
Text
This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.
I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.
(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)
Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.
And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.
I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.
And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.
But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.
But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.
And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.
So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.
And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.
But what if I hadn't known how to do that?
What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?
What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?
My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.
And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?
How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?
I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.
I think I'm gonna frame it.*
(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)
10K notes · View notes
alexiroflife · 6 months ago
Text
"first day"
fluff, happy fushiguro family, slice of life, megs' first day of school send-off
Synopsis: you've been dating toji for a while now and megumi subconsciously calls you mom for the first time on his way out the door
to sum it up: you adore the little family you've come to be a part of
WC: 1,701
Warning(s): none
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Megs!" you call out, standing by the front door awaiting the dark-haired boy's arrival. He soon shuffles around the corner from his room, throwing a bag over his shoulder with a tired expression on his face.
His father turns to watch him walk in, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. "The hell were you doing in there that took you so long?"
"Nothing," Megumi grumbles, moving to brush past the two of you to rush to the door. "I just wanted to look presentable, that's all."
"So you took thirty minutes to get ready?" Toji quirks a brow.
"Believe it or not, dad, some would say that's not enough time to get ready in the morning."
"Not at all, actually," you agree.
Toji tugs the corner of his mouth in judgment. " Well, you should know," he says to you. "You spend at least ten years in the bathroom when we have somewhere to go."
You scoff, rolling your eyes. "That's such an overreaction. I never take any longer than an hour." Megumi and his father exchange knowing looks and you place your hand on your hip. "What?"
"Don't worry baby," Toji assures you. "It's okay to be in denial."
"We've timed it before. The last time we all went out to dinner as a family, you took two and a half hours to get dressed," Megumi adds.
"That's only because I had to shower and pick out an outfit then do my hair and makeup," you defend.
"Isn't that a little overkill? It takes me half that time to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get some homework done."
"Whatever. Your sister would understand," you sigh.
"Unfortunately, she may be worse than you."
"Women," Toji tsks. You slap his bicep and he pretends to flinch, smirking down at you playfully. "Ouch."
"Alright, well, I'm ready now. I don't wanna be late," the sixteen year old says, turning back to reach for the door handle.
"Ah ah ah, wait!" you stop him. "You're not going anywhere without me getting a good look at you. Turn around, I wanna see how the uniform fits."
Megumi lowers his head and complies, turning back around stiffly for you to admire him. You press your hand to your lips to conceal your smile, eyes gleaming with pride as you look over the sharp navy jacket and pants he adorns.
"Awwww," you coo. "It fits perfectly! How does it feel?"
"Pretty good," Megumi nods, moving his arm around slightly to show his mobility in the fabric. "It's comfortable too. It shouldn't be a problem during missions."
"I still can't believe how quickly time has gone by," you muse. "You're already going into your first year at Jujutsu High! Are you excited?"
"You better be," Toji grunts. "Your uncle Gojo hasn't gotten off my ass about your enrollment for years. At least now, he'll finally shut up."
"I still don't understand why I have to have him as a teacher. He's such a moron, I doubt he'll teach us anything useful," Megumi mumbles.
"Moron or not, he's the strongest sorcerer of the modern age and he's helped out so much. I'm sure he'll be able to give you a good experience," you say positively.
"We talkin' about the same Gojo here? The one who trashed my house playing tag with Megumi and the dogs in the living room?" Toji points out and his son grits his teeth at the memory.
"Oh come on, Satoru was like twenty one back then. I can only imagine the crazy shit you've with the kids when you were raising them," you tease.
"You don't even want to know," Megumi exhales.
"Please, you came out just fine, didn’t ya?” Toji says, reaching out his hand to ruffle at Megumi's spiky hair. The teen recoils, craning his head away and shielding himself with his arm.
"Quit it. I'm not five anymore."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all grown up now, I know. Gonna be a first-grade sorcerer before I can even blink an eye."
"Who said that I would be first grade? I'm only a first year."
"Yeah, and look at who your pops is," Toji grins. "Plus, you got an advantage that I never had. You'll do just fine."
Megumi hums indifferently, doubting himself momentarily but accepting the words nonetheless. "Alright, are we ready?"
"No, not yet!" you pull out your phone quickly and open the camera. "I need to get pictures."
The blue-eyed boy slumps. "(Y/n), I gotta go."
"I know, I know, just a few," you promise, holding your camera up to capture his awkward figure in the frame. "Okay, smile."
Megumi doesn't, and of course you don't actually expect him to. Instead, he calmly stares at the camera with his arms at his sides, unsure of what to do with themselves. Toji moves to stand behind you, leaning down to take a peak at the million pictures you're snapping.
"Toji, go stand with him so I can get one with the both of you."
The two groan simultaneously. "Doll, can we just focus on gettin' the kid to school?"
"It's fine. His stuff is already moved into his dorm. We have time."
"But-"
"Shut up and go stand with your son, now," you glare firmly up at the green-eyed man and he huffs.
"Yes, ma'am."
Toji raises a hand to his hip and tilts his head boredly as he stands beside Megumi, the two of them sharing the exact same blank stare as they look into the camera. You squeal happily. "You two are so cuteee!"
"We done, now?"
"No, I wanna get one more with Megs, and then I'm good." The boys give you a look, but you wave them off. "I mean it! Gosh, here Toji. Take our picture."
Toji obliges, grabbing your phone from your hand as you rush over to the tall boy. His expression melts into serenity as you place your hands on his shoulders and lean your head against his arm, smiling widely at the camera as a hint of a smile touches Megumi's lips.
Toji's heart warms at the sight, watching the way his son grows comfortable in your presence. The picture of the two of you looks so natural t to him like you are meant to be a part of his family, which he knows you are.
He snaps the photo and nods. "Got it."
You exhale, turning to face Megumi. You brush your hands over his shoulders to straighten his jacket, ridding it of any lint and wrinkles. "Okay, Megumi, please remember to be safe."
"I know. I will," he nods.
"And don't be too reckless when it comes to training."
"I won't."
"And try to make friends. I know how easy it is for you to push others away."
"I'll try."
You press your lips together with a final sigh, looking over Megumi's face warmly. You wrap your arms safely around him into a hug, your emotions getting the best of you. You have spent the past year caring for Megumi like your own, and watching him head off to achieve his goals makes your heart swell with joy and fear all the same.
"Text me or your father or Tsumiki if you need anything. Anything at all," you tell him. He returns your hug gently.
"Okay," he chuckles lightly and you pull away. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."
"...I know you will..." you pout. "Okay, I'll let you go. Good luck. I hope you have an amazing first day. I'll see you at the end of the week, yeah?"
"Mhm. I'll call you to let you know how the day went later."
"Please do."
Toji hands you back your phone and walks toward the door with Megumi. "Let's get a move on," he says. He leans over quickly to peck your lips farewell. "I'll be back in a few."
"Don't speed, Toji."
"Speeding gets you places quicker," he winks and you suck your teeth disapprovingly. Megumi opens the door, his dad gripping the frame.
"Bye, boys. Stay out of trouble," you wave, eyes glassy as you watch Megumi walk out.
"See ya, doll."
"Bye, mum."
The three of you freeze the second the words hit the air, everyone stilling in their tracks.
You feel your heart burst as overwhelming happiness consumes you. Megumi keeps his face forward, hiding his reddening cheeks as he processes what he has just said. Toji stares at the back of his son's head, eyes wide, before he turns to look at you to find your shocked, giddy face.
You don't have any time to reply when Megumi clears his throat suddenly, sweat dotting his forehead, and he walks rigidly out of the house and swiftly down the hall without looking back.
Toji stays behind, keeping an eye on you when you look up at him, stunned. "Did he just...?" you murmur.
"Yep."
Your eyes immediately well with tears and your lips wobble, your hands flying over your mouth. "He sees me as his mom?" you whisper.
Toji chuckles, ducking down to you with his hand still gripping the door. "Of course he does. He's always adored you. Him and Tsumiki."
"I'm gonna cry."
The assassin chuckles softly, pressing his thumb to the corner of your eye gently. "You're already cryin.'"
"Shut up," you sniff. "God, I love those kids so much. I just wanna give him all the hugs in the world."
"And you'll be able to. There isn't a better woman on this planet to be there for the kids," he kisses your cheek. "That's why I plan t'marry you someday."
"Fuck you, Toj. You're gonna make me cry even more."
"Sorry, baby. Can't help talkin' about it," he leans back to the doorway. "Let me get the kid squared away and make sure he's not dyin' of embarrassment, then I'll be back to talk to ya about makin' this official."
"You're being for real?"
"Of course I am."
You lower your hands and beam. "Tell Megumi I love him and get back here soon."
"I will," he hums. "But I thought you said no speeding?"
"Just- make sure the two of you at least get to the school in one peace."
He smirks. "Will do, doll."
6K notes · View notes
wonderjanga · 3 months ago
Text
Marvel and the YJ
So, Marvel in the YJ. He’s one of their den mothers and all that. So like, in this AU, and in fact in all of my posts so far, Billy’s kept it under wraps that he’s a kid. So, as a result, the YJ think he’s just this really cool big brother (dad (they just don’t know it)) type of dude. Like he’s so nice. And he’s so nice to them especially. Like, he treats all of them the same way he treats adults. He doesn’t doubt their abilities, and when they fail, he’s still there to encourage them to get back up and he doesn’t even make them feel bad about it.
Like, the one time he was asked to spar with the YJ cause they wanted to for funsies I guess, he positively whooped their asses and somehow, someway found a way to still compliment their abilities, even if they didn’t last that long because the battle was a little one-sided. To be fair though, they had asked him not to go easy, which he didn’t. In the end, he got promptly scolded by Canary heavily when she found out he quite literally used Kid Flash as a rag doll and threw him at Aqualad. She said that the entire tape of him having a “friendly spar” with those kids, was essentially just him bullying them. To which Billy tried to defend himself by saying those kids were plenty capable. The defense didn’t work.
Then, there was this time Kon mentioned he couldn’t fly and Marvel offered him a lift. This somehow ended up with Marvel sort of T posing mid air as Kon and Robin hung on one arm, Artemis and Aqualad hung on the other arm, then Kid Flash held onto one leg while M’gann held onto the other.
Flash: “Wow.” *looking up at the YJ and Marvel* “That’s… actually kinda majestic, not gonna lie.”
Superman: *also looking up at Marvel and the YJ* “Is it though? What if one of them falls?”
Flash: “Eh. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Kid Flash proceeds to almost slip off and fall, which almost gives both the speedster and Kryptonian a heart attack. Thankfully, he catches himself by moving his feet really fast to boost himself back up. Worst part in their opinion is that Marvel didn’t even seem to notice.
Then, there was the time M’gann with Robin about something. Batman was also working nearby on a computer.
M’gann: “Hmm… We need advice.”
Robin!Tim: “We need an adult.”
Batman: *keeping an ear out cause he’s always happy to help one of his kids*
M’gann and Robin!Tim: *thinking before they speak up at the same time* “Marvel.” *they then both walk out of the room to find the Captain*
Batman: *a little upset that Tim did didn’t come to him for help but also a lot more concerned as to why they thought Marvel was a suitable choice to ask for advice, especially considering the fact that just earlier that day, he had caught the man scribbling on one of the meeting tables like a 5th grader scribbling on their desk*
Contrary to what Bruce thought might happen (I.e. something going wrong) apparently Marvel’s advice wasn’t too bad, seeing nothing had gone wrong yet. (He later found out that the two had asked for the best advice on how to incapacitate your enemy quickly. He found this out when he saw Tim throat punch a man. Said man went down almost immediately. When prodded for information for as to why he did that, he proudly proclaimed “Cap taught me”)
Also a little tidbit from the Marvel Cursing post about the YJ thinking that Marvel called one of them a dumb cunt. Courtesy to @helps-the-writing-brain-go
Billy’s recently noticed that the kids are acting funny. Though, he supposes it’s not a bad funny. If anything, whatever’s got them acting weird has got them doing better on missions, but still. It’s weird. What’s weirder is that whenever he compliments them, they shine twice as brighter than they normally do. What’s even weirder than that is that whenever they’ve messed up recently they look twice as nervous. Speaking of which, this was one of the moments they’ve messed up.
Marvel: “So… Uh- that didn’t go so well.”
YJ: *obvious signs of anxiousness on some and subtle on others*
Marvel: “But that’s okay! But that’s okay.” *trying his best to make the anxiety in them disappear* “We just have to try to be better next time. Like, and I hate to say this, maybe try calling in an adult next time? Like me? I could’ve zoomed over and helped you guys.”
YJ: *look at each other*
Artemis: “Wally’s the one who said that we shouldn’t call you in a try to do this on our own.”
Kid Flash: *dramatic gasp* “You know why I said that! It would’ve helped us all if Kaldur had tried to put the fires near the gas tanks out with his water powers!”
Aqualad: “I was busy being attacked by nearly five different people.”
YJ: *dissolve into arguing*
Marvel: “Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wally what did you mean by it would’ve helped you all? Me not being there would’ve been good?” *confused*
YJ: *immediate silence*
Kon: “Wally found out that you think one of us is dumb cunt.”
Kid Flash: “Dude! You guys need to stop ratting me out!”
Marvel: “What.” *stares in befuddlement*
M’gann: “And then he told us. So we’ve been trying to think of ways to not be uh… dumb cunts.”
Marvel: *blinks rapidly* “Again, what? Wally, where did you get this information from?”
Kid Flash: “When you were making cookies! I heard you say blah blah blah, what a dumb cunt.”
Marvel: *still staring in confusion*
Kid Flash: “Then, when I asked what you were talking about, Mary said you were talking about our performance on missions.”
Marvel: “…Okay. I’m going to be completely honest with you. I don’t remember a thing of what you’re talking about.”
Marvel then goes on to make a speech about how they’re wonderful heroes who shouldn’t let one person’s words guide them, especially in risky situations like a mission. He then told them that he was now going to stress bake and make some Minnesota cool whip, jello, fruit, not really salad, salad. (Courtesy to @jedipirateking) On the bright side though, the speech did leave the teens feeling better.
2K notes · View notes