#and walking unethical experiment

[gay-little-izzet]

I love making up guys

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

not nonbinary as in not a woman but nonbinary as in rejects the sexualising male gaze and having no internal sense of gender in the least

[fellhellion]

it's morbidly funny to me that something like the raimiverse takes the idea of peter acting with the intent to kill and

a) negates there being an actual death,

and b) utilises this more to explore the idea of who deserves to live and die at the hands of another and perhaps most importantly, is it possible to even determine that and should someone have that power

and then you've just got 2099 Miguel out here having sadman moments in the rain like ah fuck i'm not sorry at all i let vulture fall, fuck that guy. <- struggling w the fact he's had enough character development to recognise the harm in this world for what it is and that he doesn't want to turn away from it anymore

[inks-books]

Wrote some on Echoes of the Damned today! I'm up to nearly 2.5k! Which isn't much admittedly, but I did just start it lol. I am still on chapter 1, but I'm not sure if I'm about halfway through or nearly done. It'll depend on what my characters discover in the lab they are trying to break into without being killed by demon possessed soldiers.

[morganbritton132]

Steve’s tried and true method of testing if someone is a spy is by sleeping with them because, he logics, it’s totally unethical to sleep with the person you’re surveilling, right? This is what he was meant to use his bisexual powers for.

Robin: …where do I even start here? Being bisexual doesn’t give you powers.

Steve: You wouldn’t be saying that if you used your lesbian powers to kiss hot spy chicks.

Robin: Second, don’t these people experiment on children? You think sleeping with a suspect is the ethical line they draw?

Steve: Are you going to have sex when your buddies are outside listening in a van? No way.

Robin:

Robin: Does this mean no one has ever turned you down for sex?

Steve: Nope.

Steve, watching a customer walk through the door: That guy seems shady. Gonna go see if he works for the government

Steve: Hey, Eddie! What are you doing later?

[honeydewandcake]

TW — Asylum/Hospital setting, mental disorders, medical malpractice

Inspired by Fran Bow, Sparklecare, Pure Trance, and other such things; I had an idea for a Dandy’s World AU that centers around a hospital setting

I feel like a lot of people don’t like asylum or hospital AUs because they are full of exaggerated or misinformed ideas of what mental illness is. I tried not to do that, though I’m not a professional so I still might be wrong about some things. I don’t want to take this idea too far in fear that it might be distasteful, but I do want to share this idea to see if others like it too.

Dandy’s Care is a separate world where, instead of a museum, Dandy and his friends were meant to be for a children’s hospital to treat the sick and ill. They were meant to be comfort characters to patients and were meant to support them during their stay. Like in Dandy’s World, the hospital shut down due to unspecified sanitation issues. Dandy, also known as Dr. Dandicus Dancifer, slowly became more and more starved for activity. He started targeting his friends, making the hospital into an asylum for them. He changed their characters, changing his friends into patients. The toons have no memory of their former self, only knowing their diseased and ill present self.

The staff is made up of the main toons. All of them are nurses and Dandy is the main doctor. They all act like their former selves, though they have no memory. I didn’t want to draw all of them so just imagine Astro and Vee in these uniforms.

Read more to see other toons (not all of them drawn or thought of yet, don’t attack me ;-;) ↓

Razzle and Dazzle, the only ones that I thought of completely because I already drew them before. They’re the reason why I made this entire thing anyway.

They are just experiments by Dandy, who wanted to see if the two could live together if they were attached. They used to love each other, now they don’t. Razzle is no longer looking for comedy, Dazzle is no longer looking for hope. Both are only set on the idea of revenge against Dandy for making them this way.

Life is hard when you can only feel the sensations on one half on your body, they can barely walk and can only stand or sit. They take many painkillers as their wounds take a long time to health properly. They wish they could escape this place and just die already, but they’re stuck and forced to live for as long as Dandy wants.

Razzle is a lot more violent now. He is prone to biting and scratching the staff. He hates doing all the lab tests and medical procedures, he hates being near Dazzle, he hates being stuck in this living hell. Razzle is the reason why they’re not allowed near sharp or blunt objects.

Dazzle became paranoid, scared of any noise that happens. He’s terrified of Razzle because of how violent he can get, he hates him too. Dazzle cries a lot, he cries until he can’t everyday. Dazzle wishes he could just die already, he thinks everything is scary and out to get him.

Shrimpo is thought to be a patient that had anger issues and aggressive tendencies. According to Dandy, he was admitted for being violent in public, although this is only part of the fake story that Dandy gave him. Shrimpo was forced to get a lobotomy, unethical but who cares. Dandy sure didn’t.

He’s still in the recovery phase, so he might be a bit loopy. Once those bandages are off, he’ll be as right as rain. Shrimpo is a wanderer around the hospital as he’s no longer a threat. He’s allowed to leave his room and go out in the play yard but only if a nurse is with him.

Shrimpo doesn’t really have much going for him. His thoughts are scrambled and he only cares for things in front of him. Although the lobotomy made him more passive, it doesn’t mean he’s any better in terms of motivation. Shrimpo certainly has no drive for anything anymore, he doesn’t mind but it gets in the way of his health as well. The staff needs to remind him to go to the dining room to eat or to go take a shower, because otherwise he’ll forget.

Boxten was made to believe that he has had problems with insomnia ever since he was little, of course it’s not true. He takes sleeping pills and melatonin, but it only seems to worsen his nightmares. This makes him skip his doses to avoid sleeping, repeating the cycle over and over.

Boxten is afraid of imaginary things that might get him. He thinks they’ve already in his head, eating away at his brain and giving him nightmares. Of course the only thing the nurses can see is his music box. Boxten has lost all trust in the staff since they couldn’t see or feel the things he can.

In my original notes, it said that Boxten might have psychosis.

Well that’s all the once I’ve drawn, I don’t really have the motivation to make every single toon. I have a couple of ideas though

— Goob somehow survived a terrible accident, but both his arms needed to be amputated making him armless. He suffers from brain damage and internal bleeding. He doesn’t seem to have any change in his personality, still as joyful as ever. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism

— Tisha has severe OCD which damages her mental health. She’s constantly worried about everything that happens around her, making her super aware of her surroundings. She could be a danger to herself and others as she sometimes has very aggressive thoughts but can’t control her actions. She unintentionally hurts herself because of her OCD, such as washing her hands so many times that they start to bleed.

Not for a toon, but I did have an idea for an added addition to the hospital. Maybe there’s a twisted reform center where the staff try and heal twisteds back to their normal self. They would clean the ichor from them but since the ichor is also inside of them their personalities don’t change as much. Twisteds such as Finn and R&D might be too far gone though, they would have to be disabled for life. I might draw this idea because I think it’s kind of cool, I definitely will if people also think this is interesting.

[naffeclipse]

A sort of mad scientist AU where Y/N is, of course, a mad scientist. You suffer from chronic illness and you are desperate to make your experiments work but you struggle without help. You refuse to take on a human assistant out of a desire to not be treated as lesser--as if you can't conduct great, horrific experiments like the other crazed scientists. You stubbornly set yourself to work without any such succor in your tower and the days pass, wearing heavily on your soot marked hands and aching, waning body.

A solution appears right at your feet one evening while rummaging around for some material in the grimy streets (dead animals, toxic waste--the usual to carry out unethical tests) and discover two abandon animatronics in the back alley, left to rot and turn to rust. There's close to zilch hope for the two but you're not a mad scientist for no reason. You drag the endoskeletons home before prompting collapsing for a day or two after overextending yourself and paying the price.

Once you get your strength back (and cursing your weakness) you turn all your effort to cleaning and preparing the endoskeletons. The celestial model of the animatronics would be helpful in your work, no? One after the solar ball of gas which beams heat and light onto the world and the other after the gray rock which brightens the night and tugs on the tides. Sun and Moon. You solder wires and revamp the servos. You hold and handle the limbs and heads of the animatronics as if they were sleeping. Soon, they will wake.

There's just one problem. They need a spark. Not a bit of ember from fire or the first crack of electricity from a splitting fork of lightning. A spark of life. And you contain such material within yourself. It's dangerous to lord over life and play god, but you need them.

The night storms when you prepare the animatronics with their chassis open, lying down on tables. You are steady despite the buzz in your veins in the face of the most dangerous experiment you have conducted yet. With these two are your side, there will be many to come. You spill your blood, split away two pieces of your pulsing core, and set two tiny sparks of life from your beating heart into the animatronics. Your head spins with pain and hope. The hum of servos whirling to life touches your eardrums. A great rumble of thunder shakes the tower. Your vision is slowly swallowed by darkness as you start to collapse but before you fall, two glowing pairs of eyes open.

When you wake, you're in your bed, in the dark, and your chest is bandaged. You hardly have the strength to touch the blood-stains soaking into the gauze but a silver and blue hand stops you. Red eyes pierce you at your bedside, a dark personage holding your wrist. Standing on the other end of your bed is a tall figure with ghostly pale optics falling over you. Dread fills your marrow at what exactly you brought back from death. A raspy voice raises a question. Who are you?

The animatronics. They're alive. They want answers, and you are more than willing to supply them. You give a very detailed, breathy response about how this all came to be, and when you propose that they become your assistants in your endeavors, they silently share a glance and nod in unison.

Though you fear you got off to a rough start with them putting you into bed after making sure your heart was still beating, they prove to be everything you want—and more. They have no desire to return to whoever tossed them to the street and left them as scrap metal, and you finally have extra hands to hold together metal contraptions and nimble fingers to set the exact scalpel blade size you need in your hand when cutting into a carcass.

They do not infantilize you in your sickness, much to your aching relief. Sun, however, is poignant in reminding you that pushing yourself past your energy capability, such as walking into town and dragging back a metallic frame for a killing contraption, will result in you needing a day of recovery. Moon sharply remarks that willingly subjecting yourself to an overnight of experimenting with beating hearts and lightning strikes will most likely cause a pain flare, but they never stop you. They never decide for you. They see you—not the unending illness clawing at your edges and leaving its marks on your flesh.

Though you learn to manage yourself better—for science, of course. You request Sun's assistance for lifting heavy plates into place before you bolt and screw them down. He's all too cheerful to lend a hand. When it grows late, you allow Moon to lead you to bed before the fire in your muscles becomes a roaring inferno. He tells you softly that he's been recording the number of good and bad days you have, and that your flare-ups don't appear as often when you have a full night's rest. Your assistants are pleased—with the improvement in your experiments, of course.

It's rare, but sometimes you'll catch an odd sentence or two from Sun about where they were before, and how much nicer it is here. You give them much. You don't shout or throw things at them. He lays a hand over his chassis and smiles. Moon will look at you sometimes, and when you ask why he's staring, he says that you have never raised a hand to them. It's strange. He thought all mad scientists were the same. He's glad to be wrong.

You're glad they're with you too. Your science has never been madder and you don't lay through bad days alone anymore. You don't like talking about your chronic illness. The discussions you've had in the past with peers and professors revolved around how you're handling it and what it's doing to you today. Can you still do your work? It's not mad or experimental or new—it's just sad. Other people think you're sad and pitiful, and you would rather die trying to conduct a hazardous experiment than ever stop to tend to yourself.

Sun and Moon learn to take your mutters and curses in stride when another flare-up hits. They ask questions occasionally, wondering how long you've lived with this and if it would ever be cured but they seem to already suspect the answer. Sure, you've tried several times to manufacture an antidote to whatever poison sits in your veins, but such endeavors have only ended with you waking up, lying in your own vomit. They don't give you pity, not like the others have. No, Sun holds your hand between his large digits and asks if you've eaten anything yet. Moon touches your shoulder when you stare out of the circular window in your tower and asks if he can walk you to your bed.

They need you, and they know what great work you're doing here, crafting weapons of mass destruction, simmering glowing liquids, and putting together new creations—not like them, no. Nothing compares to your assistants.

[moonjellysfeast]

My Own Galatea- Crybaby x Top Male Reader

cw; (C/n) is Code name, manipulation, abuse, unethical science, dehumanization, Crybaby is @yanderefarm's character

You were probably too young to be involved in such an experiment, not even proper college age nor finished with your classes. But, you were very advanced in your studies, you were still top of your classes despite moving up several grades when you were younger, and they were getting desperate. You remember sitting in the meeting, this company had really only planned to discuss simple matters as a way of showing you how you were expected to interact once you finished school and they actually hired you. They got caught up in more urgent matters and forgot you bore witness to their panic and desperation until you raised a hand to silence the room and flatly announced.

"I have the darling gene... I could probably further his infection. He'd listen to me, I promise" They weren't happy about it, but they were truly desperate, so you were hired.

You first met him in the facility's basement, he was in a large glass room, a small hole cut into the bullet-proof glass to keep you safe when talking with him. You had several psychology classes and so you felt confident in your scheme to make him obedient.

"Hello" You spoke softly and he turned to you, clearly upset, "It's nice to meet you. Do you have a name?"

He glared at you for a bit before walking towards the hole in the glass and quietly grumbling, "I do... A real one..."

You smiled at him, he was only a year or two younger than you, but you would have to treat him more like a child until he knew you were safe. You approached him, ensuring you looked as confident as you felt, you weren't scared of him and he had no need to fear you yet.

"Give me your name, then. We can't be friends unless you tell me at least that much" Your words were laced with honey, he eyed your sweet smile with suspicion and you watched his eyes shift. He was coming around to the idea.

"Elias... I think... no, I am right... I am named Elias..." Even just at the confusion of his name, his eyes were round and damp. You held back the tug of a grin to give him a gentle smile instead.

"You can call me (Y/n). Elias is a beautiful name. It suits you" He looked at you with awe now, like it was the first compliment he'd ever heard, "You know, the people here call me (C/n), isn't that a funny name? Do they call you something like that?"

"Yes. Crybaby... I don't like it" He'd looked so adorable, crouched on the other side of the glass, confessing his thoughts like deep secrets, and watching you with those wet eyes.

You had been completely correct in your assumption that you could further his infection, when you next saw him, his irises were clear heart shapes and he hopped up to greet you at the glass.

"Good morning, Elias~ You seem energetic" You mused as he fidgeted a bit and nodded. "I'd like to play a game today, if you're up for it"

"A game?" He was clearly wary, surely experiments had been done to him in the form of 'games' previously, but he had to trust you.

"It's like simon says. Do you know that game?" he shook his head slowly, "Well, I'm going to tell you to do things, but I only want you to listen when I call you Crybaby, Ok?"

"Why?" He whined

"Because, It'll be fun. Friends play games all the time and we're friends now! We'll start easy; Crybaby, sit down," He sat with little hesitancy, "Very good. Stand up, Crybaby," He stood, "Elias, please come closer"

He walked toward you and you made quite a show of disappointment, causing him to scramble back into place and apologize, already welling up with tears.

"No, no, it's ok. You forgot the rules. Like I said, we're starting easy so it's not a big issue. Crybaby, come here" He hesitated before scrambling to the glass window, tears streaming down his face already.

The games continued each day, once he was good at listening as crybaby, you started referring to Crybaby and Elias as different people, even giving them rules.

"Crybaby doesn't know my name, you only know me as (C/n), right? You pet his head, watching him nod along to your words. "Who am I?"

"(Y)- no... (C/n)..."

"Good boy, you're really learning. I'm sure Elias would be proud of you as well, Crybaby"

You also had begun entering his cell, he adored when you did and would cling to you until you demanded he stop. With becoming so close to him, you also had to begin enforcing all of your rules more strictly.

"(Y/n) I don't kno-" He crumpled to the floor the moment you hand landed on his cheek.

"That's not what you call me, is it, Crybaby?" You sneered as he cradled his cheek and began to tear up again.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'msorry- mhhn, Please don't be mad! (C/n), sir, please!" You placed a hand over his own, silencing him.

"I know you didn't mean it, but we can't have you being bad, can we? No, Crybaby, you have to be a good boy and listen to me. Now, you remember where it is, mark the artery I told you to."

He shakily got up and made an x on the mannequin's neck, precisely where you told him to.

"Good boy" you smiled a bit, " We'll have to work on your crying. as much as your name is apt, no one will like you crying so much when you start to actually work..."

There will be more of this fic but I am stuck.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Here’s some random Port Mafia headcanons I have.

Both public and private transport was safe and ran smoothly in Yokohama up until Albatross’s death.

Kouyou had an alt phase as a teenager and had burned all evidence of it. A quick way to get sent to an early grave is to bring it up.

Higuchi will pull rank on Gin and Tachihara if she needs too. But she refuses to pull rank on Hirotsu.

Akutagawa hates coffee and every time he’s forced to drink it for a long mission he adds a truly unethical amount of cream and sugar to it.

And he’ll still grumble that it’s too bitter.

Anytime anyone complains about work being hard Kouyou and Hirotsu regale them with tales of working for the old boss. Oh is the paperwork a lot? At least you won’t see someone shot 50 times for writing in blue pen.

Akutagawa and Gin had a bet going on to see how long it would take the others to release she was a girl and his sister.

Chuuya expected Hirotsu to hold a grudge when they met again. But Hirotsu simply said Chuyya’s hat suited him. And left saying to call him if he ever wanted to get a drink.

Chuuya grinned and said he’d take him up on that. Well if Hirotsu was paying which made the other chuckle.

Pianoman can actually play piano.

Mori regularly sends assassins after Fukuzawa to make sure he isn’t getting too rusty.

Tachihara dyed his hair brown for an undercover mission and refused to look in the mirror afterwards.

Verlaine is the boogeyman of the Port Mafia. He has definitely used it to fuck with people for his own amusement though he denies it every time.

Mori has shown up late to meetings because he’s gone for a walk in the city and dropped everything when a medical emergency has happened.

He hears “is there a doctor here?!” And instantly runs over to help.

Kajii has become so invested in an experiment he started writing his theories on the walls of his lab because he ran out of paper.

No one has managed to guess Hirotsu’s age.

Chuuya’s the only person Kouyou acts her age around.

Tachihara and Higuchi go to shooting ranges together when they’re stressed.

When Alabatross first got his moniker he would make bird sounds anytime his name was mentioned.

Mori’s scarf isn’t the original Port Mafia Boss scarf. It’s the 3rd iteration and if you squint closely you can see the remains of a cut off price tag.

Lippman can do scarcely accurately impressions of the rest of the flags and several other Port Mafia members. He has used this power to prank call the other flags.

[foone]

Bad idea for a fic:

Weird Tumblr Domme is walking home one night and she gets picked up by a flying saucer. She's all like "don't probe me" and they hesitatingly explain through a translation decide that they're not gonna probe her... But probing is what they're here for. They explain that they need help with their studies and she lights up immediately and agrees to help them probe and kidnap fellow humans.

You see, they picked the right person. She's also dreamed of doing unethical experiments on humans, ever since she was a little boy.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Eyes For You

Dr. Jack Griffin x Reader

Authors Note: No one asked for this. No one wanted this. But I wanted it. It’s my emotional support film and god dammit I love this insane Twink.

Sum: You were waiting for your husband to return home from a trip out with some friends. But something went bump in the night. You were no coward, and investigated. Maybe you should have been a coward

Warnings: 18+/Violence, attempted kidnapping, Unhinged madness (you signed up for exactly that anyway), Jack being EXTREMELY protective of you, unethical science, blood, babygirling horror

“Jacky? That you?” You spoke into the darkness. You had to ask. You heard a noise, and well he’s Jack. He likes to pull pranks, and is also a little bit hard to….see….So it’s easier to call than poke around.

There wasn’t a response, however. Even he couldn’t help it but giggle, whenever he tried to pull something sneaky on you. That’s how much he adored you. Unable to keep himself wrapped up enough to follow through. Just to excited to see your laughing face.

Many would have probably stayed in their room. Maybe even call some kind of authorities. You? Well for one calling the cops doesn’t work when you are married to a man like Jack. Also, what’s scarier than Griffin?

So, here you are. You climbed out of bed, stole your husband’s robe, and snuck yourself outside of your shared bedroom. Through the familiar halls of the manor, with a candleholder in hand.

“I swear if someone broke in here, again, I’ll butcher them myself.” You would huff, as you would walk down the stairs. Had a bit of a history of people not knowing when to mind their own business. You came from a well off family, and that was how you and Jack even met. Your father had a medical issue, and Jack was able to solve it. Was hired to be the family doctor, and was able to be given funding for his experiments.

You couldn’t stop your dreamy smile. The memories of how excited he was to share what he discovered to you. How someone was willing to listen his endless rambles. He didn’t love you for the financial prosperities. He loved you because you wanted him to succeed. Was like a fairy tale.

“Whoever’s in my house better get out. I’m not afraid to get violent!” You shouted, as you kicked the door open. Certainly startled the man in your kitchen. Not every day someone actually confronts the one who breaks in.

“I don’t care who you are. Get out of my house. My husband will be home any minute now, and I rather not clean up blood stains at this hour.” The intruder sure was confused at how causal your violent mannerisms were. You kinda picked up a thing or two from a mad scientist.

“Sure he is. I’ve never seen a man come in or out of your house. But I’ve certainly seen plenty of fancy equipment. You’ve got money-“ And he was soon raising a gun at you. “And I have a feeling your daddy will pay plenty to get you back.” He warned.

Not the first time someone did this. But it was the first time someone actually go into your house. Luckily, your husband doesn’t marry himself anyone dumb. You blew out your candle, and the world was casted in darkness.

He fired, in a attempt to hit you, but you were already running. You ran, and tried to think of where would be the best place to go. Should you lock yourself in your husbands lab? What about running outside? Should you risk going upstairs, and getting a better weapon? You tried to think fast, but a bullet finally landed its mark.

You have a yelp of pain, as you were soon falling to the ground. A bullet right in your leg, and your only means of any defense was clattering out of reach. Just left to bleed in the hallway. The portraits of your friends, and family, left to just watch as your attacker found you. The moonlight casting a terrifying glow over his masked features.

“Well that was easy. Husband still coming to save you?” He mocked, as you were left to try and crawl away. Just taunting you, as he knew you couldn’t stand. You suppose this was poetic justice. You were now the victim, and you now had a mad man above you.

There was also something else above you. The rise of the candle holder you had lost in the fall. The darkness made it impossible for the attacker to see, but your angle had the moonlight sparkling on it. The gold a beacon of hope, as it was raised above his head.

“Maybe I should enjoy myself. Damaged goods are still goods, aren’t they?” He cackled at you. Just saw you as nothing more than a damsel of meat to enjoy, and oh did that made your husband growl.

“HANDS OFF MY DARLING!” And down it came. The attacker was down on the ground, wondering how he was hit. Was just left to watch, in horror, as the candle holder was held up by nothing at all. To just watch it come down and hit him over and over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

The blood was pooling. So much splatter, that you could make out your husbands shape. To see the defined features he held. Like his nose, the scars in his flesh, and how his face was in a scowl. He was not one to cross. His own partner, in his own home? Needles to say you’ll need to buy a candle holder.

“Jacky-!” Despite the pain in your leg you were raising your hands up. Eager to be held by your savior. No care for the blood, as you saw it in a cruel justification. Your husband saved you, and you needed to be held.

“My darling-“ He swooned, as you were scooped into his arms. Held close to his chest, and safe in his hidden embrace. With whispers of comfort, as you were quickly taken to his private lab. Safe, and to be treated.

“Oh darling, I should have hurried home sooner.” He was quick to blame himself. The only time he ever seemed to accept blame, really. If you were in harms way he takes guilt with out a second thought. Anything else? Never his fault. He really put you above himself. Above science. Above world dominate. Everything was beneath you.

“Jacky, hush. I’m ok now. You are here now.” You tried to calm him, as he would tend to your leg. Careful calculations. You didn’t even need to see his face to know those once white eyebrows were knitted close together. That he would be sticking his tongue out the corner of rosey lips. To have his violet eyes narrowed to make sure he pulled out the bullet just right.

He made sure you were as pampered as possible, while soothing your wound. Made sure it was cleaned, and patched, what have you. Muttering away at himself about the the annoyance of mankind. The normal.

“I’ll deal with him in the morning. Along with the mess I left behind. Greymatter is all over the walls.” He laughed, as he would proceed to use a wet cloth to clean up the blood off his body. To once again vanish into nothingness.

Call yourself insane, but you swore you could always tell where he was. Maybe being exposed to him for so long has caused you to develop some kind of second hand effects. Maybe you just held a bond with him like no other. You didn’t know. You just knew that you didn’t need to see him to see him, as cheesey as it was.

“You better. My word, you bent that holder into a spiral. I swear-“ You teased, as you were scooped into his arms again. Just a floating bundle of warmth and love. Certainly would cause the strangest of sight to those who were unaware. Which is most of the population. As far as anyone knew you were a widow. That typically keeps people from wanting your hand, but not always.

“He dare lay a hand on you. To harm you. To think he could….Oh his organs would be useless for science. I’m certain they are as dead as his brain is mush. Even his body is no use!” He ranted on, as he would bring you back upstairs.

You both knew his body would be used for some experiment, but the emotions are what matter. Had you nuzzling your face in his neck, with whispers of kisses. The only thing to sooth his raging heart.

“Jacky, let’s get some sleep. I know you had a busy weekend with your friends.” That had him finally stop his muttering. For you, he would defy the laws of nature. Suppose getting some sleep will be what he could offer, tonight anyway.

You would be laid down, as if a maiden by her knight, as he went to get into some sleep clothes. Such as some boxers, and a old shirt he had back when he wasn’t the madman he was today.

It always was so funny to watch, no matter how many times it’s been witnessed. To just see a floating set of clothes. It always had you smiling. To have his mannerism so memorized that you can still imagine them. The way he would sassily rest a hand on his hip, as he paced in thought. To how he would run his fingers through his white hair.

“Jacky….Bed.” You gentler cooed. Was followed by a sigh, from him, as that invisible hand would lift up the blankets. Now a indentation on the bed. All you need to find him. To find him, and snuggle into his chest.

“Welcome home.” You yawned. Safe in his arms again. To feel his scared fingers rub your back, as he would treasure you close. With literal invisible kisses to your face. As if it would be a cure to all your worries. Suppose he was right, they were.

“So good to be home again, darling.” He returned, as you could feel his breathing relax. To have his burning heart cooled. You were the very thing that kept him away from the world. The draw bridge of civilization and a apocalypse.

Maybe if you get bored enough, one day, you’ll lower that bridge.

[ghostiepines]

Sentinel Prime from Transformers Animated is so interesting once you start to click in that like BlackArachnia and Optimus he’s also like, really traumatized from Archa-7. Like yes, he’s an asshole but a bunch of his issues link back to this moment. His Xenophobia and germophobia that cause him to assume every single organic is dangerous and aggressive until very much proven otherwise? It’s because Archa-7 didn’t have much information on it outside the details on the wreckage and then was revealed to be filled with aggressive local fauna that he likely assumes to have killed Elita-1 if the explosion didn’t get her. His beef with Optimus? Optimus pushed them to leave (so they wouldn’t die too) but that meant leaving behind not only the chance of finding Elita alive but also the chance of finding her body.

We can also argue that Optimus choosing to take the blame for the incident as a whole caused some problems because Sentinel knows he’s at fault, but also he’s majorly defensive and Optimus doing this accidentally has given Sentinel the perfect way to shove down and repress his guilt.

There’s also the fact that Optimus also doesn’t tell Sentinel about BA, likely because he’s trying to help them both (and keep her existence secret from the Autobots in case they do target her like she fears)—but this backfires spectacularly in Predacons Rising because Sentinel all at once encounters the information that not only did Elita survive and mutate into something that to him at very least resembles the creatures that attacked them, but also she converted to the Decepticons and appears to be doing unethical experiments—like considering his character, it’s no wonder he said what he did. After all, I’d bet he was likely going through the same stuff Optimus was in Along Came A Spider. It’s obviously what he says is horrible, but also with everything happening, and who Sentinel is? (And we do know this encounter eats at him, the way we focus on his expression as he walks off, and the fact that this episode resolves with Optimus choosing to speak to Sentinel alone and apologize to him? GODDD)

All and all, I LOVE the fact that his trauma responses are messy, because it feels very accurate to his character. Optimus is a character who’s open to change (and someone who does research—as we see him watching old history reels at the start of the show) but comparing him against BA (was accepted by the decepticons likely for her usefulness while still being considered a freak and likely isolated, both which aren’t going to help her view of herself and her new form) and Sentinel (likely hasn’t encountered another organic species since Archa-7 until arriving on Earth and hasn’t had anything to force him to confront his emotions about Archa and Elita) it’s one of the things that make him a great foil to Optimus. Optimus has been given more room to grow and wants to grow, but Sentinel doesn’t quite have much of either of those things.

Honestly I could probably also write a whole thing about Sentinel and Optimus’ on and off friendship and rivalry, especially regarding stuff like Ultra Magnus’ choice to give Optimus a ship (and thus make Optimus a prime anyway despite him being kicked from the academy due to his choice to take the fall for Sentinel) and the whole side plot that was in the plans for TFA season 4 where Optimus and Sentinel were going clashing over being Magnus. Because their dynamic (even outside of Senop!) is so fascinating.

[valtsv]

i've definitely said this before but it really does drive me crazy that the alien prequel-sequel films (prometheus and covenant) set up such a compelling narrative foils-who-are-also-mirrors gothic horror in space dynamic in david and elizabeth and then just abandoned it and fast forwarded to the conclusion. i don't even think they were necessarily wrong to end it the way they did (with david killing elizabeth because he knew she would never share his god complex, destroying her species' "gods", and further violating her body without her consent by doing fucked up unethical engineering experiments with her corpse out of a perverse desire to create new life with her in the only way he can), but it feels so cheap and such a disservice to the characters that they didn't show us everything that led to that point. the development of the messed up codependent psychosexual Thing they had as the only survivors of the prometheus expedition, and its inevitable paranoid breakdown when it became clear that they were ideologically opposed in fundamentally immutable ways, culminating in one of them inevitably destroying the other. it's not like they would even have had to give up all the religious imagery/parental trauma themes that they tried (mostly unsuccessfully) to use in covenant. if anything it would've been even better *finishes my drink and leaves the bar without paying, walking out into the night before you can stop me*

[danidoesathing]

@orbmanson7

DAMN THEY WERE LYING THIS MOVIE'S EVEN GAYER

damn they weren't lying this movie gay as hell

[escape-music1432]

SCARED OF THE FALL! / Novocaine

(MCU!Adam Warlock x Ex-Avenger!Reader)

Next | Previous | Beginning

a/n: this is a really long one and I'm too lazy to shorten so have two titles and a fun read

Description: I live for angst, and this is going to be just a short few parts where reader rejects Adam's advances but slowly find themselves being hit with the realization that they do indeed harbor feelings; although, not as strongly, but they were beginning to grow.

Warnings: NONE OF THESE ARE PROOFREAD, mentions of canonical deaths, canonical violence, swearing, reader fell for Steve Rogers, alcohol consumption, kidnapping, Adam hurts reader, unethical experiments, animal abuse, vague hint of sexual thoughts, Rocket may or may not have feelings for reader, way too many near death experiences, mentions of infertility, drunken confessions, heartbroken Rocket, Reader hurts Adam,(more will be added accordingly)

Word count: 11,633

You will be happy to know that the description in no longer click bait! However now I realized I strayed from it...

This is uncharted territory now. So, that means I can finally get creative with my writing instead of having boring bs that follows the MCU timeline. I know, I did this to myself so idk why I'm complaining. Anyways, it's gonna be a bit of a better, longer reading experience... yay... don't forget the angst tho.

I have no idea how many more parts there are going to be so stay with me while we figure that out. I will be naming these after songs I listen on repeat while writing them, so don't pay the weird names any attention.

Enjoy and pls don't come for me, I'm just having fun and simping for this golden mf :)

You could feel your limbs creak and crack as you stretched, a pleasant sigh leaving your lips, waiting to feel the throb of a headache as you sat up, but it never came.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, looking around your small apartment. You didn't know how long you slept, but the lights around Nowhere and the faint chatter proved it was still within the early hours.

You licked your chapped lips, the faint taste of whiskey and honey danced along your dry tongue, followed by a sinking feeling in your gut.

You chose to ignore it while you pulled yourself out of bed and into the bathroom, hoping to wash away the night with a shower. It didn't take you long to get yourself cleaned up and dressed in comfortable attire, finishing your usual morning routine before getting ready to step outside.

You didn't even get to enjoy the walk to the enclosure to the animals, due to Nebula stopping you right outside your apartment. She was about to knock when you opened the door to her standing there.

You smiled softly, "Good morning."

"Good, your awake. I came to inform you that I can take care of your jobs for today." You wanted to ask why, but she beat you too it. "Thor would not stop bugging me about giving you today off."

You were giggling now. It sounded like something Thor would do, and you definitely needed the distraction after last night. You winced internally just thinking about it. "Did he say why?"

"No, but Drax will be joining you, as well as the kids. I don't really care for details, as long as the kids are looked after and return in one piece." Nebula waved her hand in dismissal, turning to begin her walk.

You followed alongside her quietly, hoping she wouldn't mention anything about the night prior. Luckily, she was too busy looking at the data pad in her hands, swiping through it and clicking a few buttons every now and again.

You both made it toward the port, the smell of oil and rubber hitting your nose. Nebula walked off leaving you by yourself.

You took the time to look out passed the barrier keeping you from space. It felt just like yesterday when you were within the guardian's ship, watching as the stars and galaxies danced along its black canvas, the vastness of it still taking your breath away. You could never get sick of seeing space, not when it still held undiscovered planets that you still had yet to explore.

"Good morning, Stardust. It appears we're the first ones to arrive." The voice of Adam appeared at your side; the flicker of warmth filled the space between you. You didn't dare look at him, not when he seen you so vulnerable the night before, you could still hazily remember him guiding you back to your apartment.

You could still feel his fingertips brush against your chest as he pulled the blanket over you, and the way he tucked your hair behind your ear while you mumbled nonsense. His soft hushed voice lulling you to sleep, staying at your side until your breathing evened out, not realizing the storm of emotions that the night had caused you. You didn't want to think about, didn't want to fall for a simple sweet gesture, so, you put up your walls, hiding behind the sarcasm and annoyance.

"Shouldn't you be stating the obvious somewhere else?" At your response, you could feel the way Adam's body shifted, and the way his hands twitched at his sides.

"Thor invited me on this journey. Did he not mention that to you." You gave him a sideways glance, seeing the soft smile on his face as he continued to look out into stars, not paying any mind to the jab you tried to make.

The thought that he would be tagging along was making you want to stay on Nowhere just to avoid the feeling bubbling in your chest.

"No, he didn't." You turned your attention back out into the vacuum of space.

The silence was deafening, it was both awkward and suffocating. You wanted your body to move, to find Nebula just so you wouldn't bask in the warm glow his body gave off. You couldn't fathom the comfort he brought you, it felt like everything was going to be okay, but you didn't want that. You wanted to stay within the confines of sadness, anger and regret.

"May I ask you a question?" Adam's words were like sandpaper against your ears, irritation already coming to mask your feelings. He seemed to take your silence as approval because he turned to face you, giving you his undivided attention.

You could feel him reach out as he spoke, "I have been thinking—well, knowing that I have—I would like-" He took a deep breath in, while he tried to find the words.

You could feel yourself slip away from existence for a minute. His words ringing in your head like a constant alarm. He spoke too quickly, to quietly to fully register what he was trying to say but you could feel your lungs beginning to burn from holding your breath. It was painfully obvious he was nervous, and you didn't want any part in what he had to say; at least that's what you wanted to believe.

You could feel the heat through his fingertips as they brushed the back side of your hand hesitantly. Your head turned in his direction finally looking up into his golden eyes watching as he opened his mouth slightly, before closing it and swallowing his nerves. His gaze went from your eyes down to your lips then back, your heart skipping a beat as he finally found the courage to speak. "Would you like to-"

"What the flark are you two doin?" The loud gruff voice made you jump, your hand quickly pulling away from his.

You stepped away from Adam as your eyes followed the sound of footsteps that came to an abrupt stop just a few feet away. The sight of Rocket standing, staring between you and Adam made it easier to not think too much into Adam's words.

You could hear a faint huff from your side, glancing over to Adam for just a second. He seemed disappointed, annoyed, at the sudden interruption. However, you thanked the gods that you were saved from whatever it was he wanted. But when you turned your attention to the raccoon, you couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't any better.

As you looked at Rocket, the images, the feeling of him replayed in your head. The lump in your throat and twist in your gut made it feel like you were going to throw up. You couldn't possibly face Rocket, not right now, not when the wound was still fresh. You tried to push it out, to ignore it, but the way his hard gaze disappeared at the concern on your face was enough to tell you he might remember just as much as you did.

"Captain Rocket, it is nice to see you." Adam's words were less soft compared to before, it was like he was a completely different person now. It made you do a double take in looking to him then to Rocket.

"Yea yea goldie. I actually came to give you this." His words directed at you were unwavering, the cool calm tone hurting you more than you thought it would, but excitement replace that emotion within you at the sight of your uniform.

You were breathless as you spoke, "Does this mean-"

"Yes, it does. I can see all the progress you've made, even just a little." Rocket forced his smile up to you, his eyes softening at your excited jumps of glee.

You were quick to grab your uniform from his grasp, not missing the way your hand gently brushed against the back of his paw.

You could see Rocket's body stiffen, you both feeling the tension beginning to build. You wanted to say something, to ask if he remembered but you bit your tongue, hiding behind your veil of excitement.

"Thank you, so much Rocket. You don't know how happy I am to be back." You could feel his gaze shift away from you, putting up his own walls in the process, "Don't mention it Doll, been needing that out of my office anyway."

You could feel a mix of relief and disappointment. Of course, he wasn't too keen on talking about feelings if it didn't involve half a bottle of whiskey, but that was if he remembered, and by the looks of it, it seemed he wasn't in the mood to tell.

You were so lost in thought you didn't hear the rushed footsteps from behind you. You could feel yourself being lifted from off the ground, your whole body twisting and turning at the tight grip around your legs and torso that hoisted you up bridal style. The scream of surprise you let out had Rocket and Adam both jumping in place.

"My dear! You are finally awake." Thor's voice was right next to your ear, your whole body ceasing its attempt at fighting back.

You playfully punched his chest, letting out a loud sigh of relief. "Don't do that, you scared me half to death."

You could feel your whole body shake along with his laugh; it felt nice to have him distract you from your thoughts.

"Shall we set out on our little adventure. We're all here now." Thor gently set you back onto your feet, giving you a noogie and throwing your hair askew. You felt your smile falter as you swatted at his hand, already slightly annoyed with his antics.

Once you recovered, you looked behind him to see Drax and the little ones. The sight of Lyra waving frantically had you smiling brightly, you knew it was going to be a good day.

"Will you be joining us, Captain?" The question from Adam made your hair stand on end. You tried not to eavesdrop, but you could already feel the eyes staring into the back of your head as Lyra ran toward you.

"I'm sitting this one out, I need to find our next mission. You guys have fun." Rocket's quick response was followed by his fleeting footsteps.

You were once again feeling that mix of relief and disappointment. The feeling swallowing you whole, you were already beginning to overthink but as Lyra's small hands wrapped around your neck it disappeared. She would be your main focus today, and that was enough.

The travel time was short, Thor already seemed familiarized with the system you were in. When you set down onto the unknown planet, you could see a coastal town, the bright blue of the ocean blended well with the faint hint of light blues and tan colors of the town. It was breathtaking seeing such a beautiful planet, even just the smallest part of it.

Thor had mentioned it was going to be an all-day trip considering the planet's days were similar to Earths, if not shorter.

You were helping Thor sort through the supplies, making sure you had enough for lunch, dinner and the beach day activities when Drax had announced he would be taking the kids to the town alongside Adam. You were relived to be away from Adamm, even for a short few hours, but you made the most of it taking the time to indulge in the natural riches of the planet, sunbathing out on the dock of Thor's ship.

It had been almost an hour since Drax left and you were listening to the crashing of waves, and the soft breeze that blew by every once in a while. It felt nice to empty your mind in such a beautiful place, but it didn't last long when you heard the heavy footsteps within the ship, Thor's voice calling from behind you.

"Have you had breakfast?" You could feel your stomach rumble at the mention of food, deciding it was best to stand from your laying position. "No, but if you have something to snack on that would be great."

Thor shook his head, "Absolutely not, I will make you my specialty."

You hummed, deciding to take a seat beside the kitchen island to wait for him to give you whatever he had in mind. Thor didn't waste any time in pulling out the ingredients and getting too work. You were in awe that he was making it from scratch.

As you watched him work, you felt nostalgia begin to flow through your body.

You glanced around at the empty seats at your side, the sinking feeling in your stomach returning for another reason.

The Avenger tower would whirl to life as each one of you woke up, tired eyes and mumbled good mornings. The clatter in the kitchen followed by the faint scent of coffee, the warmth of the morning light peeking through the large windows and faint chatter of your quiet sing song voice.

Tony would be the first one up, taking a walk to the small bakery down the road. He would come back with two dozen donuts and his own expensive coffee. He would be having a donut in the corner looking over his schematics while you fought to not argue about the coffee you were making.

Bruce would be leaving the bathroom with a freshly shaven face, and grabbing a cup of coffee that you poured him, his lazy thank you as he took a sip, then he would join Tony on the sofa giving his opinions every now and again.

Steve would be walking into the kitchen, his workout clothes hugging his body just right as he thanked you for the cup of coffee, then he would set out on retrieving utensils and cooking pans while you dug through the fridge and cabinets for ingredients.

Thor would be stirring from his slumber on the couch, his eyes scanning the room before sitting up and heading to the bathroom. Once he returned, he would take your place next to Steve to help cook breakfast, joking with you about being a terrible cook. You would argue back that you used to work in a cafe, while Nat and Clint would be bickering down the hall almost synchronizing with you and Thor.

Nat would be the first to sit beside you before Clint followed. They would sit and continue their argument about waffles and pancakes, or any breakfast item to prove which was better.

Thor and Steve would be happily chatting while serving up breakfast, barely taking in Nat and Clints opinions on what they preferred, then you would all sit around and eat, chatting about what the plans were for the upcoming week.

You really missed those lazy mornings.

"So, how did last night go? I spent an hour trying to wash my face from you and Rocket." Thor's voice had ripped you from your reminiscing.

The mention of last night making you forget your earlier thoughts as you felt the swell of mixed emotions. You wanted to tell him; to respond honestly but you felt your walls beginning to cloud your judgment. "It's nothing worth mentioning."

Thor hummed, glancing back at you. "I was told from Nebula that you and Rocket had to be escorted to your homes."

He laughed, "It must've been a fun night; sorry I didn't stay up longer."

He waited for you to have a backhanded comment or to deny it but at your silence he glanced back again. He could see the distant look in your eyes, he felt like there was something wrong and he wasn't going to ignore it.

"My dear, are you alright?" Thor's voice echoed off the walls of his ship, the faint smell of pancakes and syrup followed alongside him as he placed the plate in front of you.

You could hear Love and Lyra playing outside, they must've just gotten back from town. You focused on their laughter and screams of joy, letting it occupy your brain.

Thor gently place his hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly to get your attention. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You looked down at the pancakes, the syrup dripping off of one side inviting you to take a bite, but the sight had your stomach turning. The gentle breeze from outside drifted in, the faint scent of salt hitting your senses.

You wanted to ignore the sadness in your heart, the realization that this was worse than death.

"(y/n)." Thor's quiet say of your name had you jumping, turning your attention to him like he had yelled at you. His expression was full of worry. You didn't feel like you deserved such sympathy, not when everything seemed to be falling apart.

"Sorry. I'm just tired." You lifted the fork full of plush cakes to your lips, still feeling his gaze on you as you took a bite. Thor wasn't the brightest, but he wasn't completely oblivious and that jeopardized your attempt at hiding.

"Listen, I know something is wrong. You're never so quiet, where's my sassy sister at?" Thor was trying to make you smile at the name, the name that always got you to laugh and roll your eyes. He wanted you to give him some sort of reaction, anything. but you couldn't muster enough to care, the void in your chest completely engulfing your very being in sadness.

"I said I'm tired." You repeated, taking another bite of the breakfast item.

Thor smiled softly, taking a seat next to you. "You cannot fool me dear, I know something is wrong." He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, rocking you back and forth, still trying to get you to smile, to break the mask you were wearing.

You could feel the irritation bubbling up in your chest at his arm wrapped around you. It made you feel claustrophobic. His braying voice making your ears hurt and the tightness in your throat nearly made you choke on your food. You tried counting in your head, taking deep breathes through your nose to calm yourself.

You could feel another rush of sadness at the faint voice of Adam from outside, the familiar burn within your heart tore away the sadness. You wanted nothing more than to let it sweep you off your feet, but the events within the last twenty-four hours were already becoming too hard to bear.

All of the walls Adam crept through wanted to seal up, but they couldn't, not when he was at your side. You didn't want to feel that extra skip in your heart, or the heat on your cheeks, or the pain from grinning to hard. You wanted nothing more than to ignore it, to avoid those attractively captivating eyes, to forget the feel of muscular hands pulling you into his comforting embrace.

Yet, no matter how hard you pushed him away with every back handed comment, every snap of anger or rude gesture, it completely went over his head. He would smile, chuckle and pretend you didn't just insult him. It was like he didn't care, like he was okay with being nestled in the small space he worked his way through even if it meant getting hurt. You hated that about him. You didn't want him, and you didn't need him.

"You can tell me anything, I'm always here for-" Thor couldn't even finish his sentence before you shoved his arm off of your shoulder, standing from your seat abruptly with a loud sigh, knocking the plate to the floor in the process.

You couldn't control your raging emotions, or the words that fell from your lips. "Get off my back, will ya?! I can't have a peaceful morning and the breakfast you made for me without you being a pain in my ass. I said there's nothing wrong and you keep prying. It's pissing me off."

You were taking deep shallow breathes now, your hands clenched at your side, while Thor was pulled away from you slightly. The anger was continuing to build, you were trying so hard to fight off your earlier thoughts.

Thor tried to speak, to say something "My dear, I'm just worried about you."

You were completely blinded with anger now. You hate him, hated the way he made you feel. "Worried? What you should be worried about is that the moment you showed up shit hit the fan. If I had known your surprise visit would involve such events, I would've kicked you out."

Thor was in compete shock, he wasn't able to hide the sadness on his face at your words, and it made him feel smaller as you continued. "I don't want you here, no one does. You're so annoying, you can't shut up for two seconds to read the room. I've had a really shitty night, and I'm sick of you trying to work your way into something that doesn't involve you."

He couldn't even argue back, the sight of your whole-body trembling in anger was enough for him to know that there was definitely something wrong.

You couldn't possibly mean what you said, he tried so hard to believe that, even when there was no sway in your glare, no indication that what you said was nothing but the truth. You may be quick to anger but this was different, you never lashed out like this in all the years he's known you. Except for one time, and that was a long time ago right after... this was a cry for help, and he didn't know how to go about it because he wasn't the one who comforted you all those years ago.

The silence and tension in the air filled your lungs, each breath burning. Your heart was pounding in your ears looking into Thor's blue eyes, waiting for him too snap back, for him to be angry with you.

The thought of those gentle golden hands that cradled you until you stopped crying, and the tickle of whiskers on your face made your teeth clench. You wanted to feel something else, needed to focus on anything that wasn't the night prior. You wanted to block it out, it was eating away at your heart, numbing your senses, and any knowledge of the tears of anger spilling from your eyes.

You hated this, hated feeling so weak when you were supposed to be the strongest. The years after you lost your parents you were adamant on hiding your tears, your emotions but then you met Steve and the Avengers. Every day that passed you could feel your walls slipping more and more, digging a hole for you to lie in.

They made you feel safe and at home, every single one of them wormed their way into your heart, the heart that was caged off from fear of losing them. And when you got too comfortable, just like with your parents, the world surprised you with its cruelty. You lost the Avengers, and you lost Steve. You couldn't bear the burden that laid on your shoulders after that, you sealed yourself off no matter how much your heart yearned for intimacy.

Now with Adam, everything was tenfold, it was like your entire existence was altered. He brought out that sensitivity, the guardians brought out your weaknesses more than the Avenger's ever could and even then, you lost Quill, Thor and Mantis. In every scenario where you opened up, you've lost more than you could withstand. Not one has stayed, not one has given you the satisfaction of recuperating what you felt.

At least that's what you wanted to believe but as you looked into Thor's saddened expression, you knew that you were beginning to doubt that you were ever angry or annoyed to begin with. It was just like you to keep pushing and pushing until they gave up on you.

You could feel the tears streaming down your face now, the anger vanishing into the sadness you've been trying so hard to suppress.

This was always your fault; you were just trying to protect yourself from heartbreak and here you were breaking his heart, breaking the heart of the one who took time out of their busy life to visit, and the one who saw right through the mask you put on since day one.

A loud sob left your lips, your whole body going ridged as you flung yourself into Thor's arms, the warmth of his hug tarnishing the hurt you felt. You cried, letting all the pent-up emotions over the past few years drop down onto his clothing, sobbing so loudly your voice became hoarse, your grip around his neck nearly choking him.

He was the one who actually stayed after everything.

You tried to speak, to apologize for being so stupid but you were only met with his hushed voice as he rocked you gently within his hold, "It's okay, it's okay. Let it out."

Thor was holding onto your crying form for what felt like hours, each time you would start to calm down the tears would start up again. It went on like that for a while, and he was willing to wait. He didn't realize just how much you were holding back, and that frightened him.

How long had you felt this way?

You took a few deep breathes in, steadying yourself in Thor's arms. His grip around your back loosened, as you finally pulled away. You didn't have to say anything as he guided you toward the comforter, sitting you down gently. The fear of speaking was making the silence much louder than it was, and Thor must've felt it too because he cleared his throat waiting for you to speak.

It didn't take long for you to explain why exactly you were feeling the way you did. You told him about Rocket's confession, his words, his touch, his kiss. You explained how frightened you were, how it rattled you to the core to even think about him in such a way. Your feelings were mixed, you knew the love you had for Rocket was only platonic and that broke your heart not being able to give him what he wanted.

Fresh tears were already beginning to spill as you waited for his say on the matter.

"That all happened last night?" His voice rumbled with amusement, a teasing smile on his face at an attempt to lighten the mood.

You wanted to facepalm, he never wanted to take anything seriously, but you couldn't be mad. It felt nice that he was trying to make you smile.

"Yea, I had no one to tell. Rocket most likely doesn't remember, and I didn't want to bring it up when I saw him this morning." You could hear your voice quiver at the mention on Rocket, and Thor could see the way you began to fidget.

"That is, a lot, to say the least..." Thor had a thoughtful look on his face, still taking in the information. You watched as his expression changed, a familiar glimmer in his blue eyes as he looked out into the scenery of the planet you were on.

"So, you and Adam huh?" You wanted to punch him in that moment, wondering what exactly he was getting at.

"What about Adam and me?" You tried hard not to let any emotion slip, but you knew you were fucked when you avoided his gaze as his hearty chuckle flew around the quiet space.

"My dear, you do realize I know that look he gives you. It's the same look you'd give-" Thor paused, deciding not to say his name. He cleared his throat before continuing, "What I'm saying is, the rabbit saw it before you could, even I saw it when we were introduced."

You rolled your eyes, trying to brush off the flutter in your chest. "There's nothing to see. You don't know Adam. He was a mindless killing machine when he first got here. He has no knowledge of whatever it is you're thinking, he wasn't programmed with it."

You could feel Thor shift, his hearty laughter bouncing off the walls of his ship. "You jest. No one is preprogrammed with knowledge, it's taught, even improvised. It's common sense."

"Adam was made in a literal machine." You emphasized your words by moving your hands, trying to explain further so Thor could understand. However, it didn't stick.

"Machine or not. He can still learn." Thor wasn't wrong, and that had you pushing back the hope you didn't really want to acknowledge.

"Thor. Adam was born to be perfect, someone so perfect doesn't have a need for shit like that. Especially when the Sovereign literally make their children in pods, so stop trying to make it work." You didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

"It just sounds like you're in denial my dear, like you don't want to believe that he can love past companionship." Thor gave you a sly smirk, nudging your shoulder gently. "Don't worry your secret is safe with me."

You could feel your cheeks beginning to heat up, "Thor that's not funny. I don't even—he's just—I'm not—oh fuck off."

Thor laughed again, finding amusement over you being a stuttering mess. You didn't find it as entertaining, hating that you let it get to you as much as it did.

The calming silence that fell over you both was comforting, the weight being off your shoulders and the tightness in your chest was gone. It felt nice to just enjoy the weightlessness. Thor made a small noise, almost a grunt to break the silence. You refocused your gaze on him, waiting for him to speak what was on his mind.

"You know, let's assume he was taught." You hummed in acknowledgment of his words, as he continued. "Who would he confide in his emotions to?"

You froze, that question never crossing your mind. "I'm not sure. He doesn't talk to anyone besides the guardians, even then that's still a slim possibility, considering most of us rarely talk about emotions in general."

You could practically hear the gears running on overtime within your and Thor's head. The silence that fell over you only lasted a few seconds before Thor started throwing out ideas. "Who's someone that's close to you, someone that has actually been in a relationship or experienced love in such a way."

You hummed, "Well considering Adam doesn't understand that. I think someone who experiences emotions in large quantities would be enough."

Thor rested his chin on the palm of his hand, "You don't think it could Lyra, or what was his name... the babysitter."

"Drax." Just as you corrected him you froze. The mention of Lyra and Drax had the gears in your head beginning to turn in a consistent manner. "No, he couldn't be, could he?"

"He could. I used to talk to Stark about Jane and me, as weird as that sounds." The mention of Stark had you both looking down at your hands, feeling like it was only yesterday when he made his sacrifice. Thor cleared his throat again, much harder and gruffer than before, fighting off his own inner battle of regret.

"He was the only one in a bit more stable relationship than the rest of us, I didn't know Bart well enough to ask him." Thor's response was all you needed to hear before you groaned loudly, repeating 'no' over and over again.

You were holding your head in your hands, "I don't like Adam like that-" 

"Like I said, your secret is safe with me." Thor was smirking as you peaked through your fingers, shooting him a glare before you went back to your uncomfortable rant. "If Drax and Lyra are really trying to explain something as vast and versatile as the emotion love, then it's going to be all out of wack. Drax is way too literal and up front, and Lyra—Lyra only knows from movies and books."

At the mention of each of their takes on love, Thor laughed to the point of tears holding onto his sides. It was bad enough you were already concerned but now you were more than embarrassed. You wanted the world to swallow you whole, wanting to be anywhere but here in the moment.

Thor's gentle nudge of your shoulder had your panic cease for a moment. "My dear sweet sister, it's only an assumption. If you're right about your golden god, then you have nothing to worry about because he couldn't possibly 'have a need for that shit.'"

Thor's teasing tone from quoting you made you groan again, however, what he said was accurate. You really didn't have anything to worry about if you were right about Adam.

You and Thor decided to join the kids outside after cleaning up the mess you made, and a long hug filled with more than enough apologies on your end.

The day went on beautifully, most of the kids swam around and picked up quick on the games Thor would teach them. Lyra was at your side most of the time, helping you search for pretty shells and sand dollars. Drax was watching intently from the sidelines, making sure all the kids were accounted for and safe. Adam was besides Drax mostly talking with him and you couldn't help but remember your earlier conversation with Thor, and when their eyes locked onto your own you quickly averted your gaze back to Lyra.

It had only been a few hours before the kids got hungry, meaning it was just about lunch time. So, you and Thor set up the little snack bar for them to enjoy which you didn't think was necessary, but Thor had already spent so much on the supplies that you just went along with it. The kids were more than happy eating whatever was given to them, mostly the few sweet treats that Thor had provided.

"Mother?" The soft voice of Lyra had your head turning down to her from your conversation with Drax, "Yes sweetheart?"

You could see her brows knit together, her blue eyes wandering around the room while she fidgeted with the towel hugged against her chest. She looked nervous, and you couldn't help but feel worried. When she didn't respond immediately you bent down on one knee to be eye level with her.

"Lyra, what is it? Is something wrong?" You gently brushed her hair out of her face, feeling her gently lean into your touch.

Lyra shook her head, "No mother, but can you and I go back to town."

You could see her worried expression waiting for your answer, you weren't going to say no, but you were curious why she needed to go there. "Can I ask why?"

Lyra's eyes looked to the empty snack bowl that was once filled with sweets, then back you. "Bort, the treats are gone. I seen a—how do you say—cake?"

You could feel your heart swell; she was just the cutest. "Of course, sweetie. would you like to go now?"

Lyra immediately nodded her head, already grabbing ahold of your hand to guide you out of the ship. You pulled back gently, making sure to tell Drax and Thor where you and Lyra were going.

The walk to the town felt short, even though it appeared a lot further than you expected. You enjoyed the heat of the sun, the gentle breeze that swayed along the tropical trees. The town was a lot prettier than from the ship, the walls had beautiful waves etched into it, the clay of blue settled nicely with the faint hue of orange on each building. Some were darker shades some were lighter shades, not one building being like the last, they all had their own unique look to them. You could see wooden signs, their language burned into them, hanging over certain buildings. Through glass windows you spotted people nestled within seats, chatting or making purchases. It felt like home, much calmer than other planets you had previously visited.

Lyra tugged your hand down an ally, you could hear the loud voices and footsteps echoing from the very end of the alley. You were blinded from the sun's rays, and when you stepped back out into the street the hanging of cloth shielded the blinding sun. You could see that this was the busiest part of this coastal town, there were vendors with food, clothing, antiques and so on. You were in awe at the sight, not realizing just how much you missed such a sight, you half expected them to flock toward you to sell their items, but they seemed more immersed in each other. You followed behind Lyra as she weaved through the buzz of the market, you felt uneasy, but each local, vendor or not, would give you a warm smile and a slight bow.

Lyra finally let go of your hand, coming to an abrupt stop in front of a small limestone building. It had a small paper sign stung across the top, with what looked to be leaves on either side of the name 'blessed goods'.

You were expecting Lyra to run in, but she was standing idly by the entrance, waiting for you to enter first. You could practically see her body shaking with anticipation, and she nearly toppled over you as you swung the door open.

A clatter of shells and glass hung atop the door, swaying and clanking against one another to signal someone had entered. The first thing you noticed was the scent, it hit you like a ton of bricks; the richness of the smells settles on your tongue nearly making you drool. It was similar to the smell of a bakery, vanilla, caramel, even coffee, but it was so much better than just a usual bakery from Terra.

Lyra was quick to pick out what she wanted, the cupcake that sat within a small container from a large open fridge. The sight of a frosting sat on top; a vanilla cake nestled beneath it, it looked like a pink carnation, a flower you vaguely remembered.

You glanced at the contents in the fridge. They held cupcakes, and smaller cakes; each one was different but still had the theme of earth flowers, they were breathtaking. It surprised you to see even the faintest knowledge of Terra was known even as far as this planet.

"Is it okay to get this one?" Lyra's voice snapped you out of your daze, her blue eyes begging as she held up the cupcake.

You nod, giving in to the temptation of the baked goods. "Yes, I think I'm going to get one too."

You were looking up and down at all the floral cakes, before deciding to grab one that had a sunflower on top. Just as your fingers grazed against the cool plastic, you could feel a gentle hand against yours stopping you from fully grabbing onto it. You turned to your left, making eye contact with a much older man. Thinking you had done something wrong; you bowed your head slightly and apologized. When you looked back up, you were met with a sweet smile on the shop owners face, it was nothing but sincere.

"I don't think that's the cake for you, how about this one?" His soft voice was just as sweet as he looked, his grey hair peeking through the scarf wrapped around his head as his wrinkled hands gently guided your own to wrap around another container.

You wanted to ask why you couldn't just take the sunflower, but the sight of what looked to be daisy had you speechless. He seemed to hum at your surprised and wondering expression,

"It is for new beginnings. I have studied these flowers in my youth from Terra, it is a beautiful place. You must miss it."

You could feel your head spin, "How did you-"

"Your daughter speaks highly of you; I was just happy to listen." His soft smile never left as he looked down at Lyra who had a blush spreading across her face in embarrassment having been caught. "I would like to recommend this one as well, for your friend, he leaves soon does he not?"

The old man shifted around you to the other side of the fridge, plucking another container from the display shelf. Forget-me-not, a flower you least expected to see with such detail in the petals and colors.

You nodded your head, deciding Lyra had spoken with too much detail about your trip, but you couldn't be mad. "Yes, and thank you so much. These are beautiful, your attention to detail is mind boggling. They look so real."

"Yes, they do, however, I do not spend as much time on them as you would think. They aren't just regular old pastries, each one is crafted for someone specific, either a gift or for personal pleasure." His voice faded as he wandered behind the counter, pointing to some of the floral paintings on the walls and a list that sat upon the counter. "I know which ones are needed for those who enter, these flowers have meanings, and I aid in their message."

You looked at some of the cookies that sat on the countertop, small dots of leaves and lilies frosted atop, a sign sitting next to them with the words 'be the change you want to see' scribbled on it.

You looked behind him in the kitchen, not catching a single glimpse of utensils or baking items. It was just a blank canvas, all the paint was sitting upon the pallet, and the brush nonexistent, yet it still created the most beautiful masterpiece in all of existence.

The realization made your hair stand on end, looking down at the cupcakes you were about to buy. "You're not some normal old baker... are you?"

"No." His sweet smile didn't falter as he began to bag the pastries, "I dabble in sorcery, it makes the clean up much easier."

You slouched your shoulders in relief, then you covered your mouth shaking your head and giggling. "I should've known, no normal baker could add so much detail in frosting without some sort of magic."

The man laughed, taking his time in the conversation. "Indeed, not many can excel in the arts, but I put it to use in my love for baking."

You hummed, waiting for a price on the items but he leaned against the counter closer to you pointing to a poster along the bottom of the counter. "Speaking of magic, you arrived on the night of the festival that only happens once every century. You must join in on this beautiful tradition of the shower of stars carried across the planet, it is said to give good fortune of love and abundance."

Lyra squealed from behind you, grabbing onto your shirt tugging roughly. "Mother, please. I won't ask for anything else; please can we see the stars?!"

"Lyra-" You really didn't want to stay much longer, the whole trip was nearly ruined not too long ago.

You looked down to Lyra, and as you did you watched her expression contort, her eyes going wide as her bottom lip pouted out, her hands clasped together in front of her chest. Her voice begging as she pleaded once again. "Please, mother."

She knew just how to make you crack with her puppy eyes; she really was going to be the bane of your existence. You sighed gently ruffling her hair, "I would love to go, but it's not me you have to convince. You have to get Drax to-"

After your words of agreement left your mouth Lyra was already tugging you out of the store, she didn't even let you finish paying or speaking as the bag of sweets were somehow within her grasp.

You tried to pull back, but she was already out the door when you heard the shop owner call out from behind you. "No need to pay, just enjoy the festival. It starts at dusk!"

And with that you and Lyra practically sprinted back to the ship, her pulling you along the path down to the beach.

Drax was happy to agree, not only because he had a soft spot for the kids but also because if he didn't, he would never hear the end of it. So, when dusk started to approach quickly, everyone made their way into town. The only source of light was the setting sun and the bright lights from the center of town, like a guiding light in the dark.

Love was holding onto your hand while she held onto Thor's. It felt nice to just watch the dancing and singing of all the locals.

Love swayed your hands back and forth to the beat of the drums, her laugh following alongside the instruments strumming. There was a faint flicker from above as the sun disappeared over the Horizen, the music becoming increasing louder. Thor had let go of Love's hand, her grip along your fingers were warm as she guided you to dance along with her. You swayed your arms with hers, moving your body along to the words being sung. It didn't take long for the native music to switch up, having a faster pace than before. You could practically feel the drums vibrating the core of your body, the once soft vocals harmonized into something much rougher. It was like a ritual, lifting your very soul from your body.

Lyra's footsteps and voice went unnoticed as you lifted Love twirling her around. Lyra nearly yanked your hands away from Love's as you set her down, you could see the faint glow of purple unraveling within Love's eyes as she glared at Lyra. She was quick to grab your hand, hiding behind you to avoid the death glare from the other girl, you couldn't help but feel disappointment drip from your lips as you looked down to Lyra.

"Why didn't you just ask sweetheart?" You were afraid your voice was drowned out by the music but the way Lyra pulled away and looked up to you, her blue eyes shimmer in the light from her misty eyes, you knew your scolding didn't go unheard.

When Lyra didn't respond you looked over to Love, whose purple eyes went back to their natural color, her arms were crossed over her chest. You knew that she wanted an apology, which you thought was fair considering what Lyra had done.

"Lyra, that wasn't very nice. Can you apologize to Love?" You could feel her grip against your hand loosen, her blue eyes darting from you to Love.

"Mother, I—" Lyra couldn't find the words, her mouth falling open and closed as she struggled. The small huff that left her lips mixed into a sob, her hand withdrawing from your own as tears began to spill down her cheeks. You were quick to reach out for her again, but she was already running the other way.

Guilt sat within your chest, as you gave an apologetic smile to Love before running after Lyra. You could hear her voice fade out into the distance as Thor's voice followed, you ignored both of them as you attempted to track down where Lyra had gone.

It felt like hours of searching, but with adrenaline coursing through your veins it was only half an hour. You checked around the markets, into buildings that still had dim lights on, out by the ship and even back at the flower shop but you came up empty handed.

You called out Lyra's name, looking at the outskirts of town. Once again you tried to call her name, hoping for her to call back but you were only met with faint sounds of laughter, music and the crashing of waves. The guilt now sat in the back of your throat, not wanting to give up on finding her, but with each passing second it felt like you were drifting further. Just when you were about to turn and look elsewhere, your eyes caught sight of two silhouettes closer to the beach. Your body moved faster than your mind could keep up with, your heart hammering in your chest as you drew near. The faint voices growing louder with each step, you were quick to embrace the small figure, nearly crushing her within your hold as you let out a sigh of relief.

"Don't run off like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Lyra let out a sound of discomfort as you held her close, her arms hooked at her sides as she struggled to speak but the familiar silky tone interrupted.

"I apologize; I should have brought her to you when I found her." Adam stood from his sitting position, bowing slightly in acknowledgement of his misjudgment. You couldn't care less what he had to say, ignoring him all together as you set Lyra down.

"Why did you run off? I thought you and Love were friends. what happened?" You weren't trying to hide the bit of anger and concern that surfaced, holding Lyra's shoulders so she wouldn't run off again. Her gaze shifted downward trying to hide her expression from you as she spoke,

"We are, I don't like that she stole you." You didn't know what to respond with, you already knew she was a bit jealous to begin with, but you didn't know she would do something so harsh.

Her voice trembled, as she took a deep breath in not being able to hide her annoyance. "Ever since Uncle Thor showed up, you don't spend time with me anymore, it's like I don't exist. I don't want to feel this way but I—I just want my mother."

Your heart broke, the lump in your throat returning at her words. Your grip tightened on her shoulders as you pulled her close, gently wrapping your arms around Lyra, her tears beginning to stain the collar of your shirt. Her small arms were quick to wrap around your neck as she cried, letting all of her pent-up emotions out.

You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, the guilt slipping down your cheeks. The thought that you were so caught up in your own problems you couldn't even give your sweet child the love and happiness you promised. You were so angry before, so sad.

The denial that Lyra appreciated Adam more than you was a mutual feeling that you both felt, jealousy running deeply through your veins you didn't even know you were ignoring it with the emotions on Rocket and Adam. There was a lot you had left to unbag, Thor got the brunt of it while Lyra was stuck watching from the back lines as your relationship blossomed, feeling like she was being left behind.

You never couldn't have imagined that her emotions were coming closer and closer to matching your own, except she wasn't able to hide them like you had, not being able to ignore the aching in her chest when she saw you smiling and laughing with Love. That's the beauty of innocence, the ability to let her emotions run rampant without fear of being judged, being able to let it out within hours, days, compared to the years you spent suffering. She didn't deserve to feel the way you did, she didn't need the weight, the pain. She can't fight that much was obvious, she didn't need to not when you were here.

This was all your fault. You keep pushing and pushing, you didn't even realize you were pushing your little girl away. The little girl who meant more to you than any being, any friend, any weight or pain you felt. She deserves the world, and you were sick of letting your emotions cloud your judgment on people who had nothing to do with the cause.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I never—I couldn't—I didn't—I never wanted you to feel like you didn't matter but I was so focused on Thor that I didn't even notice you were hurting." You were finding it harder to breathe as you buried your tears in her hair. You couldn't let the guilt eat you, not now, not when there was a better time. She needed to enjoy the festival her time here instead of what you failed at. "It's okay to be jealous but you shouldn't hurt Love like that. It was my fault, not hers. I promise I'll do better and after Thor leaves, you'll have my undivided attention." 

Lyra pulled away slightly to wipe away the few tears that fell, a small smile finding its way to her features. She was holding onto your shoulder as she looked up to you, "Can we watch movies, the ones from earth. A-and can you make that—what is the word—popcorn?"

You could feel your chest tighten, your eyes misting over as you nodded along to her question, "yes we can have as many movie nights as you want."

Lyra looked over to Adam who was watching the whole thing unfold, his hands clenching and unclenching before his arms folded against his chest as a soft smile was directed at the little girl at your side. You could feel her lean against your chest again a sigh leaving her lips, as she took another deep inhale as she wiped snot against her sleeve.

"Would it be okay for Adam to join us? Like before, when we would all-" her words were drowned out at you caught sight of Adam soft gaze on your quick glance in his direction.

You knew what she wanted, but you didn't know if you could provide that. The time you spent running from his need to be a friend, his need to get on your good side after everything he had done to Rocket, your family. Then, his warm embrace, his feather light touches, his voice, the comfort he brought to your soul, everything about him screamed to be your friend and your mind went to more.

You hated the way your spirit lifted from hope, using the fuel from rage and tears bringing a gulf of flames between your relationship. Every time he was near there was a tug on your soul, welcoming you with open arms and you ignored it over and over again. Your soul never sang so many sonnets, poems dripping from each pump of your heart, each tear that fell from your face dripping like the drums of the music playing in the background.

You focused on the sound of music, feel the haze build within your body, the numb feeling hiding away your growing emotions. The focus was Lyra, not Adam, you can't focus on two whole earth-shattering emotions. This whole day has been filled with way too many ups and downs and you didn't know if you had it in you for another rollercoaster ride.

"Of course, Lyra, anything you want. What do you say we go talk to Love and Thor, and get this all sorted out?" You licked your lips, tasting the faint hint of salt from your stray tears. Lyra's soft nod against your palm, was enough for you to stand. Guiding her hand into your own, as Adam stood idly beside you.

You wanted to say something, anything. The thought that he was going to give you that same sweet smile, that velvet voice comforting you with just a simple 'it's okay' was enough to have goosebumps appear along your skin. You wanted it but fought against it.

Lyra gently let go of your hand, letting it slip away from your hold. She knew something you didn't, her earlier outburst was out of her system, something more finding its way into the look she gave Adam. The lack of words was deafening, it was like their silence said more than enough as Lyra nodded. Her small arms wrapping around him to give him a soft hug, then she began to walk back toward the festival. You turned, about to follow alongside her, it was awkward enough being this close and you didn't need to focus on him, not now.

Adam's hand grabbed along your forearm, the tingle bloomed across your entire body from the contact of him holding you back and keeping you in place. You felt annoyance rise from his touch, you were fighting the urge to stay, to give in.

"Adam. I need to-" your voice caught in your throat, feeling him pull you into his chest, his arms wrapping beautifully around your waist. You didn't fight it, you didn't try to pull away, you just let him rest his chin against your shoulder while you inhaled softly. The scent of the Devine graced your scenes, the soft bits of salt and honey mixed with the familiar scent from earlier in the day. The shirt he wore was tainted in the bakery, nearly numbing your senses of him.

You could feel the gentle push against your shoulder, his hand nearly engulfing your shoulder as he stepped back keeping a short distance between you. His gaze was on the entirety of your being, like he was seeing past the skin, past the bone, right into your very thing that kept your spirit contained. The golden hue of his eyes glistening in the faint light of the town behind you, the moons faint peak over the oceans horizon made this feel like some sick romantic movie.

His hand gripped tightly on the thing within his hold, you never realized he was even holding anything. You were going to ask but he was quick to hold it out, popping open the seal and letting the floral smell inflame your nostrils. The lavender, citrusy undertones and spice had your heartbeat loudly in your ears. You couldn't fight the gentle hold it had on your body as Adam gently picked up the cupcake,

"I had purchased this for you, I was told that this was the perfect flower for you." Adam was quick to pull it back slightly, like he had realized something at his words, "I apologize, I should have asked if you wanted such a silly thing. I know you don't-"

You were quick to hold his hand, losing the internal battle within yourself. The hold you had against his hand set a flame burning in your abdomen, allowing it to simmer instead of pushing it away. Your gaze lingered on the cupcake seeing the familiar hints of red, and whites framing the flower of a primrose.

"No. It's okay, thank you." You could feel his grip loosening on the cake, letting you take over your hold on it while he closed the lid of the packaging. You watched his eyes wander down to your lips as you took a bite, the soft feel of the cake was a much softer than you imagined, it was airy, filled with so much in each tingle of sweet flavor telling you a story that you didn't know you were part of. The flicker of the flame rose higher than you could've imagined. You swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to run from the feeling it gave you.

"Have you ever had a cupcake before?" You could see Adam jump slightly, his gaze flicking away from your lips and back up to your eyes. He was quick to shake his head, glancing down at the cake once again then back up to you.

You were gentle in guiding it toward his lips, holding your breath waiting for him to take a bite. The hope was continuing to burn brighter, it was like the cake itself was the sole reason you were making such a bold move.

Adam's lips parted slightly, taking a small bite to see if he liked it. You watched his face go from calm to complete joy in a matter of seconds, he was quick to take a much bigger bite leaving you with the rest as he hummed in satisfaction. You were smiling so hard your face hurt, the laugh erupted from you as you laid the rest on your tongue letting the love drip from your soul.

"That was very pleasant, I do believe I enjoy these cupcakes." Adam licked his bottom lip, whisking away the faint red of the frosting from the corners of his mouth.

You nodded in agreement, letting the crumbs fall from your fingers and onto the sand. The faintest glimmer of light peaked along the dark of night, the stars disappearing at the brightness of the shooting star. Adam was quick to follow your gaze up, watching as stars began to fall from the sky itself.

You were to engulf in the beauty, realizing now this is the magic the old man had spoken of. It stole your breath away, the sight nearly making you topple over from following where they fell.

"Stardust..." Adam's voice was quiet, you could feel the gentle touch of his hand against your own. He was holding both in one hand as he guided them to his chest, cradling them softly. "Earlier, back home, the thing I wanted to say..."

You were now looking back at him, watching as the stars shined off of his eyes. You wondered if he could see them shimmer from your own, he looked beautiful, more than beautiful. It was like when you first laid eyes on him, that stern look was now softened significantly, like he wasn't even that same machine. He looked more human, acted more human, he was different in a good way, a way that had you yearning in the worst way possible.

"I know I was let out of my cocoon early, and we didn't meet under the best circumstances, but I am very grateful that you were the one to teach and help me become accustomed to this new life." You could feel his heartbeat increase under your palms, and that fight you were battling earlier was coming back as Adam took another deep breath in. "I know I am meant to be the very being that defines perfection but when I look at you all I see are the things I lack. I wish to be more for you, perfect for you."

You could feel anger beginning to rise, the anger pushing hard against the need, the want. The lump in your throat nearly choking you as you inhaled sharply, holding your breath. You weren't ready, not for this. As much as you hoped, you spent so long behind the veil of annoyance and anger. Now, that he was speaking, giving you his heart, you weren't sure if you were happy with it.

It was the most beautiful place, the most beautiful moment in any time or space imaginable. You loved him, that much was evident, but your heart still ached dully for a past you could not obtain, a future far from your reach, with someone who doesn't exist anymore.

"I know what these feeling is now, these feelings that seem to continue to grow with every moment I spend with you. I know I am jealous, protective over the others stealing your attention from me, but it all comes from the place I've been trying to understand. I can feel my very soul reaching out to you, it's as if it's calling to me." Adam inhaled sharply again, leaning closer to you in the process, letting his breath fan along your face in a delicate manner. You were on the verge of tears, not from happiness but from sadness.

You could hear the waves crashing, the music getting increasing louder. The festival, the cupcake, the music like a ritual, the taste of the frosting lingering on your tongue like you were having an allergic reaction. There was a swell in your throat.

You could see the past, the vision you wanted for your future.

'You have a life to live, don't let anyone stop you from living it.'

You realized now, you were the person stopping yourself from living. His blue eyes still haunting your nightmares, his touch, his voice screaming calling out to you from the far of reaches of space. The tug against your soul was not to him, no, it was to the golden man in front of you.

You were willing to rid him off your shoulders to embrace this new feeling with open arms, yet you were fighting so hard to keep the last piece of you tethered to Earth, to a family you once had. The thought that it would drift away accepting someone so new, so different from the ones before, would mean it never existed. That the time on earth was nothing more than a dull planet that had no significance besides hurting you in the worst ways possible. You couldn't let Terra be such a place, you wanted it to be your home a place you can still run to, but if you let Adam in then there was no way you'd want to go back. You would want to say on Nowhere, stay with the guardians and be someone more to him and Lyra.

"No. No. Please don't say it, please don't say it." Your words fell from your thoughts and out your lips before you could stop them, Adam paused but smiled softly letting one of his hands to cup your face.

"I know Stardust. I know you're scared, and I am too but I need to tell you. I need to tell you that I know this feeling now and It's—I-" Adam leaned closer his lips gently ghosting over your forehead, a gesture you'd do to Lyra that he must have figured was a gesture of... Gods, you couldn't even say it now. Not when he-

"I love you." Adam's voice was soft. It hurt to hear those words. You hated him, you hated yourself, you didn't want to feel so angry, but it blinded you.

Everything kept adding up, you hated that Rocket's confession couldn't amount to the way Adam's made you feel, it was burning your entire body. You were happy, excited that all that hoping didn't go to waste. But now, you couldn't possibly accept it not now, not when everything was still fresh. Lyra needed you; you needed to talk to Rocket, Thor was leaving. There was so much going on, and the universe just kept adding on more and more shit to the pile, the pile you made.

You really hated yourself.

You let the anger out before you could grab ahold of it, projecting your own fear into the man in front of you as you shoved him away from you. He stumbled back, landing roughly in the sand while you stood over him. You could see the sadness in his eyes, the tears were threatening to spill, and you were fighting against the sympathy brushing past your caged heart. The emotions you shared earlier in the day were long forgotten, as you pondered on your thoughts from earlier.

"You've got to be kidding me, so much for being the perfect human. Do you even know what love is? Do you even have the slightest clue to what you just admitted to?!" You fought back the tears; you fought so hard to keep yourself afloat. Adam stared up at you the tears falling down his cheeks that seemed so foreign like he wasn't meant to show such emotion.

You loved him and it hurt. You couldn't let him be swallowed by your past issues, to be loved by someone who couldn't even admit the feelings were mutual. His heart was pure, and you were going to taint it, no matter how hard you would try to cradle and nurture it, you would end up cracking it under your pressure. He was the perfect being, literally created to be just that, a better version of yourself so how could you possibly amount to being a partner he needed.

"Can't you see that the entirety of our 'friendship' was nothing more than a mission given to me by Rocket. I would've never agreed if it hadn't been for him threatening me from joining the Guardians. Do you even think about anyone but yourself? You got to go save the universe and I was stuck on Nowhere doing nothing because of you, and you think we're friends?!"

He had no need for that shit. He didn't need you; you didn't need him. You weren't going to believe for a second that he knew what he wanted, much less you. You were going to continue to believe that, that this was nothing more than people filling his head with sick love stories and tales of happy endings that weren't real.

"Now that the mission is over, I don't have to pretend to be nice and you know what? You think you're the perfect human being, but you're nothing but a child with powers and your ego is higher than anyone I've ever met. Did you really think I would love a machine? A monster like you?" The venom dripped from every word, as your chest rose and fell frantically. Adam was still on the ground biting back his words as you continued to spew out your anger.

You kept pushing and pushing. You didn't mean it. You didn't mean anything, you knew that, but it was so hard to just let Terra go. To let him stay in the void in your heart where Steve once resided. Adam was perfect, and he proved it every day, but you were far from it. You could never amount to what he needed, and that sucked. You hated yourself more with every word, every lie to keep him far far away from your shitty life.

"I never wanted you here or anywhere near me. If it was up to me, I would've left you with the High Evolutionary, I would've left you to burn up in that shit hole because then you wouldn't be taking Lyra from me and worked your way into every aspect of my life." You finally let your shoulders slouch, watching as Adam turned away, his earlier words long forgotten as you gulped down the lump in your throat.

"I hate you."

[11queensupreme11]

Omg hi ! Modern au anon here !

Yes Loki is the history major ! He studies Norse history and goes on archaeology trips and digs and sometimes brings back stuff he’s stolen, ( his dads a lawyer and his brothers an attorney Odin and Thor are done with his ass ) he got into a fight at a Waffle House got his ass handed to him and stalked the chick, now he ordered awful coffee combos ( that he actually likes ) just to fuck with her, his latest order was a blueberry lemon mocha. He also orders an apple pie ( he asks for it to be cold )

Cu is the Phys major but he’s one of those frat bro menaces who’s gonna take over his dads electric company ( a massive nepo baby manwhore ) he always parties or picks fights, he goes to a specific cafe to harass a barista for protein shakes or smoothies although he knows damn well they don’t serve them here ( he even took his time to check the online menu ) his go to order once he’s done fucking around is the mango yuzu refresher and their pesto chicken sandwich.

Poseidon is a marine biology professor and he used to be Ichthyologist and professionally used to scuba dive before he started teaching at the university his annoying little brother owns ( Zeus ) cause the last professor got into a nasty lil accident and they needed someone to teach ( he doesn’t have the proper teaching qualifications) all the students and teachers fear this mf. Him and a student butted heads and now he’s obsessed, he goes to the cafe she works at cause the coffe is adequate and the calm nature is pleasant. His go to order is a black double shot expresso ( with a blue cookie )

Hades is the Dean who is overworked and just wants to chug the wine hidden inside his desk he loves his kids and doesn’t wanna speak about his ex wife after recently getting divorced. He’s the most normal ??? Usually tends to force his family to have Friday dinners together. He’s grown fond and curious of the student that’s been making his younger brother act so odd and ended up finding her lovely, he likes to snatch her up to just talk from time to time. Has bias for pecan swirl macchiato with a blueberry muffin.

Beel is a science major who is quite literally an unethical walking menace. What’s the red stuff in your bag ? Tf you mean don’t worry about it ? I’m sorry what’s your thesis about ?!? Surely not ? That’s illegal ! He’s probably ( most definitely) breached the Geneva Convention with one of his experiments. No one knows what’s his end goal all they know is that he’s probably kill them all with one of his biohazards. Dark chocolate swirl mocha with cherry syrup, with a blue cookie.

Apollo is the delulu med student, he barely sleeps, he’s a happy lil mamas boy and his twin is here on a sports scholarship, he may or may not be the affair kid of the chancellor, he’s also got a minor in arts cause he’s really good and teaches painting classes on his free time ( a med student with free time ? 🤨) he’s got a crush on the barista at this cute little cafe who always makes the cookies blue. Peach tea and a strawberry tart are his favorite treats but on stress study days he has a four shot expresso latte with a warmed up brownie.

Anubis own a funeral home that’s under his family’s funeral empire, he’s really good at his job despite how silly he may appear, he’s a big daddy’s girl to his daughter and they always go out for drinks and cookies after he picks her up from school. He’s very fond of the kind barista that’s started making monster high themed treats for his daughter, thinks she would be the perfect step mom. His go to order is a mocha with a lemon poppy muffin. Keby gets a hot chocolate and a monster high treat of the day ( Cleo teal and gold cookie )

Percy is an exasperated Biology major that works in a cafe near the school, it’s pretty quiet usually until she’s got a whole circus of idiots bothering her daily peace, she really should stop picking fights 😞, most of them are tolerable to some degree but some stuffs gonna kinda weird as of late ? She can’t put her finger on it tho. Not that it’s her main concern with her slight chronic illness that comes and goes. Her go to drink is a blueberry and Fuji apple juice with some of her blue cookies.

Anthonius chase he’s Percy very dear to Percy :) And an engineering major who’s been busy for a half semester in Rome, currently unaware of the idiots loitering around her unless she tells him about it. His go to order is a spiced chai with a berry crumble.

I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH ESPECIALLY SINCE ANTHONIUS IS HERE TOO!!!!! so this is gonna be a mix of pjo and ror characters?!?!?!?

omg now i'm curious about percy's parents here, or more particularly, who her DAD is gonna be in this au. is it gonna be pjo!poseidon who actually gets to raise her in this au? or is it gonna be the incest route with ror!poseidon who eventually finds out she's his kid and goes "oh well, i'd still smash" LMAO. or is her bio dad just gonna be unknown and paul's the stepdad? OR IS IT GABE????? if it were gabe, i can definitely see one of the yans killing him (or maybe one of the older yans becoming her NEW step daddy 😭😭😭)

also, WHERE IS THIS TAKING PLACE? in new york? is she living with her mom or dorming???? OR IS SHE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT WITH ANTHONIUS AND/OR GROVER AS HER ROOMATES???? LMAO IMAGINE THE YANS FINDING OUT SHE'S BEEN LIVING WITH 2 OTHER DUDES

i can imagine them going to her place one time, and seeing NO dude with her. and then sometime in the future, they come over when anthonius is back from his trip and BAM they see anthonius and crash out 😂😂😂

this got me thinking of how she would've met the yans. maybe anthonius used to be her math tutor, but because he left, hades (who already likes her at this point) takes pity and decides to make beel tutor her (beel's a grad student who's research gets the school a shit ton of money so he likes beel and covers up his more.... shady stuff lmao). beel's all miffed about it but then gets obsessed with percy lol (thx a lot of hades)

as for cú chulainn, since he's a frat boy manwhore here, maybe they meet at a frat party??? actually idk, percy's super outgoing but she wouldn't risk a frat party (everyone knows how dangerous those could be especially for girls 💀). maybe he had a friends with benefits thing with one of her group project members and she needed to look for her and ended up meeting him, idk i'll let you think of how they met lol

OOOOH AND IMAGINE POSEIDON GIVING PERCY AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO MARINE BIOLOGY RESEARCH WITH HIM???? (he forces her lol) like it's something he made up on the fly solely cuz he wants to spend more time with her and said research may or may not be disguised as dates and her oblivious ass doesn't notice it. meanwhile the other students are in shock cuz this man NEVER offers research/lab assistant positions to anyone.

and omg "chronic illness".... i see you managed to transfer the "soul-breaking" thing from arsenic blues into this au too. i wonder what the chronic illness actually is but this is the perfect chance for apollo (or even beel) to check her out hehe