#and voila you get 75

[solowonderer]

Top 8 Natural Tourist Locations in Malawi by Satguru Travel

The mesmerising beauty of the landlocked country Malawi in the southeast part of Africa will leave you speechless once you visit. A wide range of agriculturists living here makes this place a heaven for nature lovers. The top natural tourist locations in Malawi by Satguru Travel attract people from all over the world. If you are planning a trip to Africa, add Malawi to your list of places to visit and enjoy the heavenly spectacular views of nature. 

1.Nkhoma Mountain

If you are taking Malawi corporate travel services and planning to hike this mountain, you must be aware of the route to the summit, which is as follows:

You will find mostly flat land during the first part of the track

Once you get past the initial trail, you will come upon a fish pond. You may spot children playing near the place. 

When you are done with half the trail, you will find slight difficulty as the slope gets steeper there. You can have a view of the pond and most areas of the land while you are trekking up. 

At this point, you will have a spectacular view of the summit. One can relax here as about 75% of the hike is done and you need some rest time before restarting the hike. 

You will find a rocky slope near this point which is very difficult to pass. In order to clear this difficult part, you are required to use both hands and legs. 

Voila! You have reached the Summit within four hours. The mesmerising view from this spot will surely make you forget the tough part of the hiking journey. 

2.Mount Mulanje

Located 65 km east of Blantyre, Mount Mulanje or Mulanje Massif rises sharply from the plains of Chizardzulu and is one of the most preferred places for hiking in Malawi. One can also spend some time in the tea-growing district nearby with the same name, Mulanje. This mountain with an altitude of 3000 m is popularly called “island in the sky” by the locals. You will notice what a suitable name it is when you see the mountain enclosed in a smoke-like haze on a misty day. 

Just like Nkhoma Mountain, Massif is popular among adventure lovers for hiking and climbing. The Malawi Mountain Club and Forestry Department maintains several mountain huts scattered around the mountain. Hikers can choose from a large number of trails depending on the length of stay and what summits they want to reach. People who do not want to hike can simply visit the Mulanje Forest Reserve and spend some time exploring the plant and animal species. 

3.Lake Malawi National Park

Located at the southern end of Lake Malawi, this place is enlisted in the World Heritage Site and is the world’s first freshwater national park. Lake Malawi National Park includes a land area around the bay and cape together with the Lake and islands offshore. You will see a veritable aquarium of tropical fish offering a colourful kaleidoscopic display. 

Lake Malawi National Park holds the record for having thousands of freshwater fish that you will not see anywhere else in the world. One can also hire a boat and feed the fish directly from the hand. You can spot baboons, hyrax, antelope, and large species of birds like cormorants, eagles, and hamerkops away from the lake, in the park. 

4.Majete Wildlife Reserve

If you are visiting Malawi, do not forget to put Majete Wildlife Reserve on your list of places to visit. The continuous efforts of professionals in the protection of endangered species make Majate the most popular reserve for wildlife and safaris in Malawi. This place is located in the Lower Shire Valley, South West of Malawi. 

In the 1990s, there was heavy eradication of wildlife from this region. A non-profit organization named African Parks Majete (APM) in collaboration with the Malawian government took full responsibility and rehabilitated the reserve. The restoration includes infrastructure development, wildlife stocking, scientific monitoring function, and law enforcement. 

5.Dwangwa 

The satellite town of Dwangwa is situated on the central shores of Lake Malawi, thirty miles north of Nkhotakota. If you are visiting the lakeshore, make sure you spend some time here apart from fuelling and stocking up. You can find good accommodation facilities in this town and enjoy some lake activities during your stay. 

6.Shire River

Visiting the largest river of Malawi must be already on your list of places to visit. Shire river is the only outlet of Lake Malawi that flows directly into Mozambique’s Zambezi river. It begins from Lake Malawi and enters into shallow Lake Malombe after a 19 km (12 miles) journey; after draining Lake Malombe it flows southward towards Liwonde National Park, where you can spot hippopotami in abundance. 

7.Kasungu National Park

Located on the border of Zambia and Malawi, Kasunga National Park is full of natural woodland and bush and is spread across 800 sq miles. It was one of the oldest premiere national parks in Malawi. With time, the fame of this place has been overtaken by Majete, Liwonde, and Nyika National Park. Nowadays, most visitors prefer going to Nkhotakoata Wildlife Reserve for safaris that is being managed very well. Check the website for flight booking in Malawi and spend some time in the laps of nature here. 

8.Chongoni Rock Art Area

Located at the granite hills northwest of Dedza, in Central Malawi, Chongoni Rock Art Area is full of ancient rock paintings, constituting the densest rock art cluster in central Africa. From the paintings by BaTwa hunter-gatherers to rare farmer rock art, you will find every rare and beautiful painting from the Stone Age here. The symbols in the paintings have firm associations with females and are still culturally relevant to the Chewa community. 

Chongoni Rock Art is a UNESCO World Heritage Site that comprises around 127 sites of which some are still active for rituals and ceremonies. The tour packages offered by top corporate travel management companies in Malawi often include a trip to this exotic location. You are less likely to find such an amazing collection of preserved ancient art and Chewa’s cultural history from their early transition as agriculturists to the arrival of colonial Europeans. 

Satguru Travel is the largest travel management company in Malawi. They have certified professionals who make your travel memorable and hassle-free to enjoy your valuable time. To book a package, contact us. 

[pento]

How to get the bells on mobile:

Open tumblr.com in your mobile browser. No need to login if you can’t be bothered.

Rotate your phone to landscape (wide) mode.

Zoom put a bit. I need to zoom to 75% on my phone, it’ll probably change depending on your screen size and browser.

You might need to refresh the page to make it work properly as you change the zoom level.

Voila!

Listen up, friends. You may have noticed that some little elves here at Tumblr HQ have decorated your dashboard with enchanted bells. We told them not to, but elves are notoriously single-minded. (You might even say jingle-minded if you were so inclined, which we most certainly are not.)

So here’s the deal. You can find the bells on web on your desktop by clicking “Click for bells.” You can look at them. You can jangle them. Heck, you can even play whole songs on ’em if you so please. They’ll be up for a short time only. If you clicked for bells and hate them, refresh your page, and it will be blissfully bell-free.

Rumor has it that crabs enjoy bells, while elfish legend speaks of excessive tolling bringing little miracles down from above. This is all hearsay, though, and not to be believed (we all know how elves like to tell tall tales. You have been warned).

(thanks to freesfx for the dulcet chimes)

[linuxgamenews]

Discover Halloween Picket Maze: The Perfect Halloween-themed Puzzle Game

Halloween Picket Maze single player action puzzle game launch is available on Linux and Windows PC. Thanks to GameLoom Studio for their creativity. Available now on Steam with a discount. GameLoom Studio, the tiny two-person team we know for unique indie gems, is back this Halloween with something special: Halloween Picket Maze! This action puzzle game has arrived on Linux, right in time to add spooky fun to your October. It's more of a treat than a trick. Which originally was not due to targeting support.

Linux support is not something we have initially considered, other than making sure it works on Steam Deck through Proton. We do have experience developing for Linux, so I could give porting the game a shot during the weekend.

And voila!! In Halloween Picket Maze, you play as an adorable cat who’s lost and trying to make her way back home through a Halloween-themed maze. But it’s not just any maze — this one’s full of all things Halloween. Going from pumpkins and candies to sneaky ghosts and tricky costumes. It’s also the kind of title that gets you right into that festive spirit. Jens Åkerblom, CEO and programmer of GameLoom, is eager for this release and couldn’t be prouder. “With this release, we’ve done something that 75% of developers haven’t: we survived long enough to create a second Steam game.” Jens said with a grin. “Our previous title were great, but this one feels like a real milestone for us.”

Halloween Picket Maze Trailer

The idea for Halloween Picket Maze actually came from a smaller project GameLoom put together last Halloween called Tiny Halloween Story. The team loved working on that little prototype so much that they knew they wanted to expand it. And expand it they did! They’ve pumped up the game with more levels, more polish, and more of that eerie Halloween charm. It’s come a long way from the original idea, both in how it looks and how it plays. So, what can you expect from Halloween Picket Maze?

60 levels that’ll challenge you with all sorts of grid-based puzzles.

A cute cat protagonist who’s just trying to find her way home.

Enemies like ghosts, hounds, and pumpkins to keep things exciting.

Plenty of goodies, from cardboard boxes to hide in, Halloween costumes, and, of course, candies to collect!

And even some Halloween-themed poems sprinkled throughout the gameplay to keep that spooky vibe going.

Halloween Picket Maze is built for all ages, so whether you’re a Halloween fan looking to dive into the spooky spirit or just in for a fun challenge, there’s something here for everyone. The title has launched with full support for both Linux and Windows on Steam. And it’s already up for grabs at a nice seasonal 15% discount, dropping the price to $6.79 USD, £5.68, or €6.62. So, if you’re ready to add some festive spook, grab the Halloween Picket Maze action puzzle game and help that cute little cat find her way home. It’s a purrfect pick for this season’s gaming line up don’t miss out.

[stampwithtami]

🎉 One Day Only: FREE SHIPPING on all qualifying orders! 📦✨Thursday Only✨

Free Shipping Thursday Only Get ready for a crafting extravaganza! 🛍️✂️ On December 14th, indulge in a day of savings with FREE SHIPPING on all qualifying orders. 🌟 Whether it's items from your wish list, crafting essentials, or simply satisfying that urge to splurge, now's the time to treat yourself! 🚚💨 Act fast because this incredible deal lasts for just 24 hours! Don't let your fellow crafting enthusiasts miss out—spread the word and share the excitement! 📢✨ Shop smart, save big, and make your crafting dreams come true. 🎨🌈   Here are "7 Reasons Why Shopping Thursday is Your DIY Dream Come True!" 🎨📦 1⃣ **Zero Shipping:** Spend $75 or more and voila, FREE SHIPPING! Make your pocket smile by saving those extra bucks. 2⃣ **Stock Up:** All you paper lovers and ink nerds, it's time to replenish your stash! Don't forget, a well-stocked craft room is a happy craft room. 3⃣ **Last Chance List:** Those hot 🔥 items that are still available on the last chance list. 4⃣ **The Early Bird Gets the Goods:** Shopping at the beginning of the week gives you first dibs on all our best items. 5⃣ **Motivation:** Give yourself a treat! There's nothing like a delivery of fresh craft supplies to keep your creative mojo running. 6⃣ **DIY Delight:** Stuck in a creativity rut? New materials can spark a world of ideas. Get your hands on those crafting tools you've been eyeing! 7⃣ **Makes A Perfect Gift:** Is your artsy friend's birthday around the corner? Or just feeling generous? With free shipping, it's the perfect time to send a surprise craft bundle! Don’t forget, this sweet deal only runs 24 hours, so be sure to make your shopping list ahead of time! 📝 SHOP ONLINE - Use hostess code DFYYWJYS - Sale begins Thursday, December 14 at midnight MT for 24 hours only - Orders placed in my online store. - Orders over $150 will also receive free Stampin' Rewards (don't use hostess code over $150). Read the full article

[edennails991]

SNS NAILS: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

Dip powder is unlike anything else – it’s durable, natural-looking, and comes in a massive range of colors. Just like every manicure style, there are pros and cons, but overall it’s a great alternative to acrylic, gel, and traditional polishes. If you’re looking to switch your fingernail game up a bit, find out everything you need to know about SNS.

What are SNS Nails?

SNS or dip nails are entirely different from your average manicure. Instead of using a polish, these designs are made with powder. Just as the name suggests, you dip your fingernails into a pot of colored powder, secure the color with a bonding liquid, repeat the process a few times, and voila – you have beautiful and stylish nails!

SNS Nails Pros and Cons

As with everything, there are pros and cons to this process. SNS nails are incredibly easy to apply and come in a myriad of different colors. Dip powders also last a lot longer than regular manicures – up to three weeks. They’re also full of nutrients, which strengthen the bed of your nail. However, you often have to remove the entire layer when replacing them, and they can cost quite a bit to maintain.

Is SNS Bad for the Nails?

Contrary to what some might think, SNS isn’t bad for your nails. They have nutrients inside the powder that helps strengthen the natural bed. There’s also no harsh UV light to lock the color in place, so your skin will thank you, too. Of course, the bonding liquid applied can do some damage, so be sure that you go to a certified nail tech so you can get a perfect application every time.

SNS Nails vs Shellac, Acrylic or Gel Nails

SNS nails look more natural than acrylic, and gel nails, and they’re also a healthier option. With dip powder, you don’t have to file your nails too far, so your nail bed will end up in a better condition than with acrylics. The powder alternative also contains fewer fumes than the other alternatives and does not require UV light, unlike shellac.

How Long Do SNS Nails Last?

SNS nails can last anywhere from two to three weeks. This timeframe is usually indicative of the regrowth on your beds. You can get powder manicures refilled, but most of the time you will have to get the color removed and start from scratch.

How Much Does SNS Cost?

Depending on where you plan to get your nails done, and how elaborate you’d prefer the design, these manicures can cost $35 – $75. As with all good things, you get what you pay for, and this is no exception.

How to Apply SNS Nails

Before you begin, make sure you have a smooth nail bed surface to work on. Apply one coat of clear gel polish to the nails, and slowly dip each finger into the powder. If there’s an excess on the end, lightly brush it off. Complete this step three times, and finish the look by dipping the tips into a natural sheer set. Lock in the color using a sealer and proceed to file down the nail, removing any bumps you may have created. Wash and dry your hands, paint a final layer of polish, and voila! You now have a beautiful manicure that’s worth showing off!

SNS Nail Designs

SNS nails don’t just come in one style. Like any other polish, you can create beautiful designs that are totally worth showing off. For a French manicure, dip the ends of your fingertips into the powder – mix things up a bit by alternating in shades. For zig-zags or stripes, apply the same process by working the glue in patterns. If you’re after something simple but bold, why not create a single feature color or alternating tones? With this nail technique, you can let your imagination go wild.

Ombre SNS Nails

A popular design that gets people talking is ombre nails. The process is a little tricky, be sure you head to a professional to get this done correctly. Trendy colors include red, black, and pale pink. To create a gradual French manicure, opt for a classic white tone on the ends. With fingers this fine, you’re going to want to become a hand model.

SNS Nails With Tips

For those who aren’t blessed with long nails, why not fake it with tips? SNS manicures look excellent with the help of extensions, and they elongate your fingers. Again, be sure you head to a professional salon, so the ends don’t look crooked or twisted. Light colours like pink, white or baby blue look stunning during warmer months, and dark tones such as navy, black or grey look incredible during winter.

How to Fix Cracked SNS Nails

Although SNS is a healthier and longer-lasting option for a manicure, they’re not always as durable as its alternatives. Dip powder can sometimes chip or crack, especially if they’re too long or haven’t been refilled in a long time. To fix this, you will have to file the top layer and remove the application with acetone. After dipping your fingers in for a little while, buff it down, so your natural nail is left. Next, it’s best to start the application again. Hopefully, the damaged surfaces are only visible on one finger, so you won’t have to fix all of them!

How to Remove SNS Nails

The process of removing powder manicures is quite easy. Begin by removing the top layer of gel polish, and then soak your nails in acetone. You can get this done faster by dipping cotton balls in polish remover and securing them using foil. As an alternative, dip the ends into a bowl of the liquid. Wait for ten minutes while the SNS dissolves, remove any excess and then dry your fingers using a paper towel.

Source from thetrendspotter.net

[nordicwallartcanvas]

Exploring the Latest Black and White Wall Art Fads

Black and white wall art embodies the essence of elegance and timelessness. It is a powerful medium that effortlessly combines simplicity and sophistication, creating a visually striking impact. The monochrome palette allows for a focus on shape, form, and contrast, evoking a sense of depth and emotion. From minimalist line drawings to captivating black and white photography, this art form transcends trends and adds a touch of refined beauty to any space. Black and white wall art invites you to explore the interplay of light and shadow, making a bold statement that captivates and inspires.

Black and White Pro Tips I

Follow this professional decorating tip from our design expert, Elimar Lobo Sáenz:

“Black-and-white décor will never go out of style, and this iconic duo can help you curate an interior full of endless possibilities. Incorporate shades of grey and charcoal into your black and white color palette for a monochromatic, ultra-trendy look. This chic color combination will make your home feel instantly chic and more contemporary. For another up-to-date design technique, try adding a splash of geometric-patterned wall art.”

Discover black and white art ideas >>

Dining Room Wall Art Ideas

Your dining room is the perfect area to add black and white details. This communal area must be an equal mix of cozy and stylish.

Hang a piece of black and white wall art over your dining room as a modern focal point. Keep your space free of clutter, and let the color contrast do the talking. You can add hints of soft colors throughout your dining space, but be sure not to pull attention away from your artistic centerpiece.

Black and White Pro Tips II

Follow this tip from our guide to black and white décor when designing your dining room:

“Black and white go with minimalism like peanut butter and jelly. If your goal is to create a minimalist dining space, chances are you’re already considering decorating with black and white. This modernist style is all about sparse accessories and leaving open space. To prevent your dining area from looking cold and unwelcoming, add a natural splash of color with indoor greenery. Hang an abstract print for a current finishing touch.”

Explore black and white canvas art >>

Black and White Modern Art Styles

Speaking of modern art, black and white can be combined in a variety of contemporary designs. From line art to greyscale photography, there is a colorless print to suit every style. Urban landscapes tend to radiate modernism, as well as simple, abstract designs.

Modern Wall Art Trends

Our art director, Tirzah Goodman, has curated the ultimate modern are collection. Browse black and white canvas prints in our “Abstract Brushstroke” catalog. These pieces are both simple and striking. Plus, they work in any room in the house.

Browse black and white wall décor >>

Black and White Art Shapes

Selecting the perfect piece of wall decor goes beyond just choosing the pattern and color scheme. You also have to consider which canvas layout will best fit your wall. Follow our guide below to choose the best shape for your desired visual effect:

For a Trendy Look: 2-Piece Split Canvas

For a Modern Look: 3 Piece Multi-Panel Canvas , 4 Pieces wall art , 5 Pieces wall art

Find black and white artwork ideas >>

Large Black and White Wall Art

The final step in choosing your perfect black and white print is to consider the dimensions. Select the right size wall art using these tips from our Ultimate Wall Art Size Guide:

“Your wall art should take up about 60% to 75% of the available empty wall space; in other words, the portion not covered by moldings or furniture. First, measure the height and width of the wall. Now, multiply the measurements by both 0.6 and 0.75. As a result, you will get the range of canvas print sizes to suit the space. Voila! Easy-peasy.”

Smoking Fashion Woman Canvas Painting Print Black and White Cigarette Woman Wall Art Print Painting Wall Pictures for Living room Home DecorSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$40.90 – $70.45Select options

Black And White Sexy Shadow Beauty Women Canvas Print Painting Modern Posters Pictures for Bathroom Home DecorSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$53.13 – $57.34Select options

Black And White Beauty Women Nude Posters Girl Shower Canvas Print Painting Nordic Obscure Posters For Bathroom Home DecorSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$43.23 – $108.04Select options

Abstract Black and White Ink Canvas Print Poster Wall Art Pictures for Living Room Home DecorSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$46.14 – $141.19Select options

Beautiful African Woman With Baby Wall Art Poster Painting Black and White Canvas Wall Picture Modern Print Home DecorSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$18.10 – $88.86Select options

Astronaut Grand Eclipse Moon Kids 3 Panel Canvas Wall Art Canvas Painting Wall Decor Ready to hang$127.05 – $272.38Select options

Nordic black and white plant painting canvas modern minimalist flower art picture wall print poster living room decorationSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$73.07 – $104.43Select options

Red Train Nordic Large Scene Canvas Prints Posters Black White Landscape Wall Art Canvas Paintings for Living Room Home Decoration$113.77 – $244.81Select options

Hand Painted Blooming Flowers Abstract Oil Painting On Canvas Wall Art Paintings For Living Room Decor Hang Paintings Home DecorSALEPRODUCT ON SALE$108.44 – $245.41Select options

Oversized Black and White Wall Art

Looking for the ultimate statement piece or planning an oversized gallery wall? Choose a print with these dimensions: 66"X33.” Measure your space first to make sure this massive work of art won’t overwhelm your space. This size is breathtaking in a room with large, blank walls. Plus, it’s a super easy way to transform the look of your space with a single piece of décor.

View black and white modern art >>

More Black and White Artwork Topics

If you’ve fallen in love with black and white décor like we have, there’s a whole host of resources available to help you perfect the look! Check out our article on black and white home décor ideas for more info on finishes and furnishings. We also have a dedicated piece on black and white framed wall art, if that’s up your alley.

Black and White Pro Tips III

For our closing statement, ruminate on this quote from our expert black and white décor guide:  

“Whether you’re a first-time homeowner or a seasoned designer, black and white is a color scheme used by both beginners and professionals alike. Whatever your personal style, you can’t go wrong with classic. If you’re exploring black and white possibilities, or you already have an interior decorated in these timeless tones, adding more black and white décor will instantly elevate your space.”

Black and white wall art stands as a testament to the enduring power of simplicity and contrast in the realm of artistic expression. Its timeless allure continues to captivate, transcending trends and leaving a lasting impression on those who encounter it. Whether you seek to create a sleek and modern ambiance or evoke a sense of nostalgia and classic beauty, black and white wall art offers a versatile and sophisticated choice. Let the monochrome palette ignite your imagination and transform your space into a gallery of refined elegance.



#abstractart, #blackandwhiteart, #blackandwhitewalldecor, #homedecor, #wallart, #wallartdecor #abstractart, #Canvasartwalls, #homedecor, #Impressionism, #livingroomdecor, #minimalistart, #popart, #Realisticart, #wallart, #wallartdecor

[megamuscle885-blog]

Reblogging a part 2 for this, since I spent the whole day thinking about it in a little more detail.

In The Butcher XIV, Khorne finally gets what he should've gotten all along, but had to scowl and glower at Slaanesh's Lucius the Eternal instead; an immortal warrior who will take over the mind and body of anyone that kills them. But The Butcher is a direct upgrade to Lucius in a key Khornate aspect; Khorne wants an eternal warrior, but not one singular eternal warrior. Presumably, whatever kills Lucius could theoretically kill him again. There's a caveat that if you enjoyed or were satisfied felt any emotion while killing Lucius, that becomes the trigger for the transformation. And voila, you have Lucius the Eternal again. Better Warhammer 40k scholars may have opinions here, but I'm holding him up only as a direct example to Khorne's intent here.

Whatever kills The Butcher XIV becomes The Butcher XV. No exceptions. The newest power is at 100%, the older powers are at 50-75% (I imagine Seachan ranges might factor here for prior Butchers? But that might be pure fanon and headcanon for me) and The Butcher gets a fresh new body without skipping much of a beat. The collective of prior Butchers contribute their experiences and talents and their little tricks they gained using their powers from before. There's no caveat to prevent inheriting The Butcher's mantle, and the only way we've seen them 'defeated' in canon is to have a convenient way to imprison them in a body that will likely never die (in any timescale that matters) and that's not a problem for Khorne at all if he needs to go rescue his new favorite hamster from any Mannequin/Bonesaw inspired hamster ball. What we have here is essentially the ideal and perfect warrior from Khorne's perspective, without any of the reservations or weaknesses of his usual champions like Angron or Kharn.

Next, I think I want to talk about Nurgle and maybe that my opinion of Nurgle conflicts with the usual idea of "Grandfather Nurgle" as a happy and doting father of his disgusting garden of death and decay.

This will be a little short though. There's the idea that Nurgle is a paternal figure to his followers, both in 40k and Fantasy versions of him, though the fantasy versions of all the chaos gods are genuinely uplifted a little; the Empire in fantasy isn't as grimdark as the Imperium in 40k, and the chaos gods need some way to hook people into their cults somehow. Nurgle spares the dying from decay and disease. He fills barren fields with fertility again. His champions are pregnant (almost sometimes literally with nurglings) with diseases that they cannot feel and do not fear, and happily spread in his name.

But there's an insidious undercurrent. Patriarchal 'love'. If you should ever spurn Nurgle, all of that protection from the disease he's put inside of you will turn against you violently. He'll leave you to die from some of the most horrible injuries imaginable. I can see Nurgle's 'love' to be a very possessive kind of love, and exceptionally conditional. I think Nilbog mirrors him rather closely here. A father to his creatures, but by the time of Ward he couldn't care less about any of them that may have survived. Everything he touches decays into the raw materials he needs to build his self obsessed fantasy. A garden for himself and all the while he rules over a diseased, rotting ruin, slowly dying. Food for thought.

I might wait a bit more to think about Slaanesh Jack and Tzeentch Taylor.

A few extra fantasy gods might also need champions. The Horned Rat, who may or may not be known as Kweethul. Hashut, the Father of Darkness, God of the Chaos Dwarves. There's also Malal, but with so little content dedicated to him he may as well not exist.

So, warhammer fantasy? Plus Worm. Lets brainstorm a bit. A non-exhaustive list of who would become champions of chaos, or be chosen by the chaos gods to become their heralds, in no particular chronological order.

Khorne: The Butcher XIV aka Quarrel.

I can see The Butcher turning rabid one awful night. Howling about an infinite ocean of blood. Slaughtering the unpowered members of the Teeth. Killing those who try to reason with her. Infecting others with her madness somehow. Most of the Teeth capes flee north to Boston and Spree's clique when they're told to run by those Teeth that were there for the slaughter. Of those that were present, maybe half maybe more, flee to the New York Protectorate, begging refuge, begging Legend to kill The Butcher before she breaks free, something like that. Incoherent babbling about how she's slathered herself in blood and is killing indiscriminately - Villains, Heroes and civilians alike - piling the skulls of those she beheads in one spot and sits upon it like a gory throne. The Teeth are reforged in The Butcher's charnel house, quenched in blood. The World Eaters. She aspires to wash the entire east coast in blood, a massive sacrifice that will bring daemons through in their millions, and she'll begin in the largest city in north america.

Nurgle: Nilbog aka The Goblin King aka James Rinke.

A particularly terrible winter's night, cold and frigid in Ellisburg, NY, James is holding one of his favourite creations, Polka III, as she dies from disease. He's trying to tell a bedtime story to the rest of the creatures, all sharing their body warmth as best they can, but the cold is making his puppet shiver and he's constantly interupted by a cough that rattles his ribs and won't go away no matter how much he clears his throat. He's in tears over the sorry state of his garden. A like-minded figure sympathizes with his plight. He begs the empty air for something to save them. Something comes. The acrid, infertile land around Ellisburg, stripped of nutrients to create his fantasy creatures suddenly begins to spring to life all around him. Strange and fantastic new fruits and berries curl out of the ground. Caramel-sweet rivers start to form. Everything is verdant and green and hot wherever he walks. His cough doesn't seem to go away, but it doesn't bother him much anymore. Polka III is alive and well. And he's suddenly struck by so many new and wonderful ideas. He goes to the carcass pits and begins to create and create and create. And his Grandfather looks on with paternal joy.

Slaanesh: Jack Slash aka Jacob Black, the Slaughterhouse 9.

This might not click for some people. Personally, I think a man for whom every new terrible torment needs to be more thrilling, more horrible, more impactful than the last fits perfectly here. I'm not entirely sure how to write his first moments though. Broadcast nudges him one way, Slaanesh nudges him another. He starts to indulge more and more. A little less careful. Broadcast's balancing act starts to slip as Slaanesh's prodding throws the relationships of the Slaughterhouse 9 into new dynamics. I might have to come back to this one, but it was one of the first I thought of.

Tzeentch: Taylor Hebert

Now who else would like to see Skitter but with birds? Fucked up mutated birds. Introducing the Raven God and his new magical apprentice. I feel myself running dry here, but I think as our nominated protagonist, Tzeentch is able to lend quite a bit of weight to Taylor's character, and her eagerness to grab onto an escape from her wretched life with both hands and take it to its extremes. Though one thing I will mention is that one of Tzeentch's aspects is as a God of Hope, and that'd be fun to play with I think. Though that's an aspect of his Fantasy version, and I tend to think of the Fantasy versions of the Chaos Gods as more interesting tbh.

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Fridays—Chapter 170: The Analysis, chapter 3

Fridays—Chapter 170: The Analysis, chapter 3

Pairing:  Captain Swan

Summary:   A series of unrelated, fluffy one shots featuring Killian Jones and  Emma Swan and the relationship that makes us all swoon. Will contain  both canon and AU stories. My contribution to Operation Rainbow Kisses  and Unicorn Stickers (aka, my attempt to drown out the season 4 finale  angst with ridiculous levels of fluff.)

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31) (32) (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) (42) (43) (44) (45) (46) (47) (48) (49) (50) (51) (52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59) (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) (67) (68) (69) (70) (71) (72) (73) (74) (75) (76) (77) (78) (79) (80) (81) (82) (83) (84) (85) (86) (87) (88) (89) (90) (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) (98) (99) (100) (101) (102) (103) (104) (105) (106) (107) (108) (109) (110) (111) (112) (113) (114) (115) (116) (117) (118) (119) (120) (121) (122) (123) (124) (125) (126) (127) (128) (129) (130) (131) (132) (133) (134) (135) (136) (137) (138) (139) (140) (141) (142) (143) (144) (145) (146) (147) (148) (149) (150) (151) (152) (153) (154) (155) (156)  (157) (158) (159) (160) (161) (162) (163) (164) (165) (166) (167) (168) (169) (171) (172) (173) (174) 

(ao3) (ff.net)

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Ruby howled with laughter.  Truth be told, she hadn’t stopped laughing since she’d started reading Emma’s mistake of an analysis paper.

“I’m going to tell you right now,” she said, swiping at tears, “I would have paid good money to see Killian Jones’s face when he read this.  Poor guy probably just about had a stroke.”

Emma buried her face in her hands and groaned.

“Seriously, I think you missed your calling, Emma,” Ruby continued.  “This stuff is worthy of those lurid bodice-ripper romance novels.”

“Look, can you help me or not?” Emma growled.

“With what?” Ruby asked cheekily, “your analysis or getting into Jones’s pants?  Because one of those would be a whole lot more fun than the other.”

Emma took a threatening step forward, and Mary Margaret stepped in between the two of them, hands outstretched.  “Ruby, maybe it’s better you save the ribbing for later.  Do you think there’s anything you can do?  Can you get Emma’s real paper back?”

After the initial wave of mortification had died down when she’d realized what had happened with her term paper, it occurred to Emma that she had a much more substantial problem on her hands.  Those end of term papers counted for 25% of their grade for the course.  This embarrassing mistake was something she very literally could not afford.

Though she would have much preferred to ignore the whole situation and hope it went away, she needed to do something about it, and so she’d brought in her roommate and her roommate’s tech-genius childhood friend to see if there was any hope of retrieving her actual paper.

Before she’d told them the reason for her call, she had, of course, threatened everything short of actual bodily harm should they ever breathe a word of any of this to anyone.

Ruby sighed.  “Fine, though I have no idea why Emma would want to get rid of this absolute smutty masterpiece.”

Ruby typed for a few moments and then shouted in triumph.  “There we go!” she said.  “Simple.  Autosave to the rescue once again.  All I had to do was go back to a previously saved version of your document and voila!”

Emma took her laptop back from Ruby, glanced over it, and sighed in relief.  If she’d had to rewrite the entire stupid essay she was going to scream.

Making sure to save the damn thing, she printed it out, checked it, and then checked it again.  Fortunately this time a legitimate analysis paper on the symphonies of Mozart was in her hand.

Now came the hard part.  Now came the part where she had to go Killian Jones’s office and explain the mix up…and hope that he accepted her late paper.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma took a deep breath, standing outside the office the music graduate assistants shared.  She knew Mr. Jones was in there; this was smack in the middle of his posted office hours.

Was it possible to actually die of embarrassment?  Because she was pretty sure that if it was, she was just about to do it.  Killian might too.

Gods, what had she been thinking, writing all of that?

Well, there was nothing for it.  This had to be done, and the sooner the better.  The embarrassment certainly wasn’t going to lessen the longer time went on.

Slowly letting out her breath, she nodded in determination and then rapped on the door.

“Come in.”

Here it goes.

She opened the door and stepped inside, making a point of NOT closing it after her.  Given the situation, it was best there was not even a hint of impropriety.

When he saw her, he stood so quickly, he banged his knee against the desk, and he muttered a curse, leaning down to rub the abused joint.  When he straightened, his face was so red it was almost purple, and he seemed to want to look at anything and everything but her.

She guessed if there’d been any hope he’d somehow not read her paper yet, that hope was completely dashed.

And the award for the most awkward moment in academic history goes to…

“What…” he squeaked, before clearing his throat and trying again.  “What can I do for you, Miss Swan.”

“I, um…” she began, “I was hoping to talk to you about my term paper.”

His eyes widened, and he immediately began stammering.  “Yes, well, um, that was…that was, I–”

She stopped him with a raised hand.  “As I’m guessing you could probably tell, there was a mistake.  That was not what I meant to turn in.”

If he scratched any harder at the spot behind his ear, it would probably start bleeding.  Still refusing to look at her, he chuckled nervously.  “No I wouldn’t imagine so.  Although knowing Mozart, he probably would have found this situation endlessly amusing.”

“Unfortunately, I suspect Professor French would not take such a favorable view of it,” Emma said, chuckling in spite of herself, imagining the prim, proper Belle French reading what she’d written.

He laughed with her, finally looking at her properly, and Emma’s stomach swooped at the eye contact.  She was so far gone on this man it was ridiculous.  Too bad she’d embarrassed them both so thoroughly that he’d probably never want to see her face again as soon as this course ended.

“Anyway,” Emma continued.  “My real paper, you know the one I intended to turn in, somehow didn’t save or something.  I was able to get it back, and I was hoping you’d let me turn it in instead.  I know I’m a day late and my grade will get docked for that, but please!  That cannot be the final term paper I submit to Professor French.

Killian grinned at her sympathetically, and then deliberately looked down at his watch. “By my count, it is technically still less than 24 hours since the paper was due, and I’ve yet to submit the class’s papers to Professor French, so I see no reason we need to mention the delay.  No harm done.”

Emma let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.  “Thank you!” she breathed, reaching over to take his hand in her relief.

The second her hand touched his, a shock went through her, and she gasped, the attraction between them feeling almost as strong as electricity.  He drew in a quick breath as well, and her eyes met his again.

How long they stood like that–hands clasped, eyes locked, wonder coloring both of their faces–Emma couldn’t have said.  It could have been a few seconds, it could have been a few hours.  Finally he gave his head a quick shake and then stepped back, clearing his throat once more before speaking.  “It’s no problem, Miss Swan.  It could have happened to...well, I don’t know that this particular situation could have happened to anyone, but I’ve no doubt all students know the dread and horror of a missed deadline.”

“You know, Mr. Jones,” Emma said, after a moment.  “You really are a great teacher.”

There he went, scratching at the back of his ear again.  “I appreciate you saying that.  I rather doubt anyone’s ever called me a ‘great’ anything.”

She felt a rush of tenderness at that admission, suddenly realizing just how little he thought of himself.  She had the strongest urge to touch him–nothing untoward–she just wanted to comfort him, reassure him.

Still…given the nature of what she’d come here for, touch of any kind would probably be best avoided.

“Well…thanks again, and I’m sorry about the mix up.”

Emma turned to leave, but before she could exit the door, he called her name once more.

“Yeah?” she asked, turning back toward him.

“About what you wrote in your unintentional submission…” he glanced aside, coloring once again.

Oh gods, were they really going to talk about this?  She knew she should say something–apologize or make excuses.  Something.  Unfortunately she suddenly found herself entirely at a loss for words, and so she merely looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Did you,” he asked, “did you mean what you said?”

She drew in a quick breath, her heart pounding.  She couldn’t have looked at him if he paid her.  “I mean…I wouldn’t, you know, ever act on any of that.  I know you’re my teacher and everything, but, um…yeah?”

She hadn’t meant it to come out as a question.  She hadn’t meant to say it at all.  She hadn’t meant to say any of it at all.

But now that it was out there, she couldn’t exactly deny it.  Denial was the coward's way out, and Emma wasn’t a coward.

Abruptly Killian met her eyes, and what she saw there stole her breath clean from her lungs.  Beneath the obvious discomfort at the topic, there was something more–something hot and burning and needy, and Emma had the strongest sensation that if he was able, he’d gladly act out every single one of the racy fantasies she’d laid out for him in her term paper.

Lord help her, she had to clench her fists at her sides to keep herself from reaching for his lapels and dragging him bodily to her.

“Of course, I’m not at liberty to…um…comment on any of that now, given our position,” he said, “but…well…I must admit, I did not find your analysis to be unpleasant reading material.  Perhaps, were the situation different…”

He trailed off, but Emma couldn’t help but hear the unspoken message.

One day, one day soon, the situation would be different.  Maybe, just maybe, when that day came Killian Jones would find it in himself to finish his sentence.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Killian’s heart began to race as they got out of Dave’s truck and approached Granny’s diner.  Suddenly he couldn’t breathe, the panic taking over.  He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this!

It was crazy to think he could’ve.

“Hey, Killian, just relax,” his best friend and roommate, David Nolan said, placing a comforting hand on Killian’s shoulder.  “She asked you to come today.  She’s going to be happy to see you.”

“Maybe,” Killian said, glancing through the diner’s window and catching a glimpse of Emma laughing with two other women, “but…but you know dining with Emma and her friends is not all I hope to do today.”

Graham Humbert, Killian’s second roommate, stepped up to his other side.  “Given the first analysis paper, she turned in, I doubt you have to worry about her answer.  This will be good!  And whatever happens, we’ve got your back, mate.”

Killian took a deep breath and slowly let it out.  Finally nodding firmly, he took the last few steps and opened the door.

The last week had passed in a flurry of activity, between his duties as teaching assistant and studying for his own graduate student finals.  He’d scarcely had a moment to think about the lovely Emma Swan or the undeniable connection between them.

But during his rare moments of downtime, the moments when he was left alone with his own thoughts, she consumed him.  He wanted her, and not merely in a carnal way.  He wanted a relationship with her, the white picket fence life, all of it.

He wanted it so badly that he was willing even to do that which scared him to death–ask her out.

This morning had been the final exam of the Music History 101 class, and with the last exam turned in it was official.  Emma was no longer his student; the last ethical barrier between them was gone.

She seemed to sense this as the class came to a close.  She waited until all her classmates had left to step to the front of the class and personally hand him her exam.  He thanked her, tongue-tied as usual in the presence of a woman he found desirable.

While he tried to dredge up the courage to broach the subject he so desperately wanted to discuss with her, she hesitated, and if Killian didn’t know better, he’d swear she was trying to draw out the moment of their parting every bit as much as he was.

Finally, after a long moment of the two of them merely gazing at each other, she cleared her throat and spoke.  “So, I just wanted to, you know, thank you again for being a great teacher.  Music was never really my thing, but I learned a lot this semester.”

He felt his cheeks color, and he had to clench his fists to keep from scratching behind his ear.  “I appreciate that,” he said after a moment.  “Teaching was never my thing, but you…um, I mean your class…made my job a delight.”

She smiled at him, her look a touch shy, perhaps unsure.  It appeared she was warring within herself, but finally she seemed to come to a decision.

“Look, Mr. Jones…” she began.

“The course is over, Swan,” he said.  “Please, call me Killian.”

“Killian,” she said with a nod, “a few friends and I are getting together for an end-of-semester celebration lunch at Granny’s in a couple hours.  If you wanted to come, you’d be welcome.  I mean, if it wouldn’t be weird.  I know you were my teacher and everything, and If you aren’t interested, I won’t be offended or anything, but we’d love to have you.  And you can bring some friends too, if you want.”

Killian smiled warmly at her.  “I’d love to join you, and I’m sure my roommates would as well.”

“Great!” she’d said with a wide, delighted smile.  “So, see you there around noon?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

When he’d asked Dave and Graham if they’d like to join him, they’d agreed…but only on one condition.  He had to take the plunge and actually ask Emma Swan on a proper date.

Killian was not accustomed to asking a woman out.  On the few occasions he’d been out with a lass, she’d typically been the one to make the invitation.  Frankly, the prospect of putting himself out there terrified him.

But if anyone was worth overcoming his fear for, it was Emma Swan, and so he’d agreed to his friends’ demand.  This very day he’d ask Emma out or die in the attempt.

Killian stepped into the diner, feeling the comforting whoosh of cold air from the air conditioner as he stepped inside.  Emma looked up at the sound of the bell over the door, and her face lit up when she saw him.  She waved him over, and he took another deep breath.  The moment of truth was upon him.

David clasped his shoulder once more.  “You can do this,” he said in a low voice.

Once the men had reached Swan’s table, introductions were made.  Emma, it seemed, had brought her two best friends, Mary Margaret and Ruby.  Distracted as he was with the anxiety and the butterflies in his stomach, Killian couldn’t help but notice the way his best mates seemed to perk up when they met Emma’s brunette friends.  Perhaps romance was in the air for more than just him and Swan.

Introductions done, and his friends taking their seats–David next to Mary Margaret and Graham next to Ruby–there was nothing else for it.  He needed to go ahead and do this before he lost his nerve.         

“Swan, could I have a private word?” he asked, resisting the urge to fidget–or to turn around and flee.

She looked surprised, but she nodded her assent, grabbing her drink and following him to the back hallway.

“So, what’s up?” she asked as soon as they were alone.

“I…um…wanted to ask you out,” he blurted, “to dinner or something.”

Emma had just taken a sip as he spoke, and she immediately began coughing.  He awkwardly patted her back until she got control of herself.

“I thought I was going to have to be the one to ask you that,” she said, finally.

He shrugged.  “As I’m no longer your teacher, the asking is no longer inappropriate, so I was hoping, well, I was hoping you might say yes.”

She merely looked at him for a moment, and then she smiled, and the effect was like the sun peaking out after a storm. “I’ll happily accept,” she said, “on one condition.”

“Aye?”

“You let me plan the date,” she said.

Killian felt the euphoria bubble up to such an extent he found himself capable of overcoming his natural shyness and actually–dare he believe it?--flirting with her. “Hey!” he said in mock offense, “I know how to plan a date!”

“You know how to make a lesson plan,” she countered saucily.  “I know how to plan an evening out that will blow your mind.”

He leaned in close, one hand on the wall near her head–he couldn’t believe his boldness.  “I must warn you, I don’t….pillage and plunder on the first date.”

She winked at him.  “That’s because you haven’t been out with me yet.”

He coughed, feeling the heat cover his cheeks yet again.  “Perhaps not tonight, Swan, but maybe one day we could…explore your literary output.”

She laughed, reaching up to kiss his cheek.  “Oh, that’s a definite.  Now how about we get back to our friends?  I’m gonna have to make this a quick lunch.   I’ve gotta go find something to wear.  Turns out I have a hot date with my former teacher to get ready for.”       

 Notes:

Happy Friday everyone!  Are you surprised I managed to update 3 weeks in a row?  I know I am!  And with that, The Analysis comes to a close.  Now, I know some of you are going to ask me to continue this and write the date, but if that ever happens, it will have to wait.  I absolutely have to get back to Until the Stars Are All Alight.  I plan to work on that until it is finally finished.  Afterwards, who knows?  I’m sure there will be plenty more fluff to explore between our favorite princess and pirate.    

                                                           NEXT CHAPTER-->

[songbirdstyles]

whole lotta love.

summary: you patch spencer up after a particularly difficult case.

warnings: pure smut, fluff if you squint

pairing: spencer reid x reader

word count: 4.5k

song inspo.: whole lotta love - led zeppelin

For all intents and purposes, you’ve gotten very used to the less-than-glamorous aspects of Spencer’s job.

Sure, you don’t love when the familiar ding of his phone stops whatever he’s doing in its tracks, whether you two are curled up in bed at 2 AM or pressed against the wall together, your fingers furiously fiddling with the buttons of his dress shirt to get it off as fast as possible. One notification from his phone and he’s wincing, giving you an apologetic kiss and a promise to call you as soon as we land. 

But - well, you hadn’t really had much of a choice besides getting used to that one. And it hasn’t been as bad as you’d initially expected because Spencer never fails to call you every night (calling only, no matter how many times you try to convince him to get a better phone so you two can FaceTime) and it does feel pretty worth it when he comes home and tells you about the case, about a victim the team had saved or an unsub they’d apprehended.

That being said, you still haven’t gotten used to the nights where he comes home looking like this.

“Jesus Christ, Spencer,” you murmur, bringing your palms up instinctively to press to his face. Your thumbs stroke along his cheek where a slash highlights the bone and the black and blue shadow surrounding his left eye. You’re nearly positive there are more wounds you can’t see - you’ll check - but you hate seeing him come home so beat up. “What the hell happened?”

“The EMTs checked me out,” Spencer explains, larger hands wrapping around your wrist and tugging your hands off of his face. He doesn’t like to be doted on and you know that, but it isn’t as though you can just ignore how he looks. “I’m fine. They’re just superficial cuts.”

You furrow your eyebrows, feeling his hands slide down your wrist until your fingers can intertwine with his, palm flush against his just the way you like it. “You look like you lost a wrestling match.”

Your boyfriend laughs at that, taking a step away from you and leading you from the foyer of your shared apartment towards the sitting room. “We saved two little girls, though,” he tells you, and that brings a smile to your face as you tug him towards the sitting room couch. “You know, it was really lucky - 99% of abducted children die in the first 24 hours -”

“ - 75% in the first three hours and 44% in the first,” you finish, pushing Spencer onto the couch just as a grin begins to spread across his face. “I’ve heard you mention it so many times, I may as well remember it.”

“It is useful to know.”

“For you, maybe.” You lean down to press one gentle kiss to his lips before padding off towards the bathroom, pulling open one of the carefully organized first aid drawers to search for what you need. “Just stay there, Spence.”

He merely hums in response and you can imagine him - exhausted to the bone - sinking into the cushions of the couch, surely ready to sleep, but you know you won’t be able to rest until you patch him up. Seeing him beaten up is more common than you’d prefer but it doesn’t mean you have to like it, necessarily - even though you have to say you’ve gotten quite good at cleaning cuts.

Just as you pick up a small rag, turning on the sink to soak the cloth with cold water, Spencer calls from the sitting room, “Make sure you remember the Vaseline. Hydrates the wound and provides an occlusive layer which keeps the wound covered.”

You snort, digging through the drawer until you find the small tub of petroleum jelly that you always resort to when cleaning him up before turning off the sink, ringing out the washcloth so it doesn’t drip on the floor. “I know,” you call back, using your elbow to flick off the lightswitch before crossing the apartment to the kitchen, pretending like you don’t see Spencer’s gaze following you from the couch. “Come on, honey. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know?”

“Alright, alright,” he laughs as you pull open the freezer, pressing the back of your hand to each unopened bag of frozen vegetables to find the coldest one - as it turns out, it’s the peas, buried deep in the freezer, and you pull the bag out before shutting the door once more. 

Vaseline and cloth in one hand and the cold bag of peas in the other, you flash Spencer a small smile as you turn to walk back to the sitting room. One short glance to the clock mounted on the wall tells you that it’s nearly 11 but you’re not nearly as tired as you’d expect, and, as you wiggle your eyes at your boyfriend as you stand between his open legs, you don’t reckon Spencer is, either.

It’s an easy maneuver to climb on top of him, legs straddling his thighs until you’re settled in his lap and your bodies fit together like they were made for each other. You can practically hear his heart thumping through his dress shirt and you’d love nothing more than to lean down and unbutton his shirt, press lingering kisses to every bit of exposed skin, but there are more pressing matters - your own needs can wait until later.

You can feel Spencer’s hands, softly touching the backs of your thighs, fingertips drumming against the smooth skin. Even when you’re so close you can feel his hesitation with being intimate like this, how he’s careful not to press too hard as if he’ll break you and you shift backwards on his lap, deepening his grasp on your thighs and he smiles softly.

(Both of you pretend not to notice the slight bulge in his pants, pressing against you as you raise the cool bag of peas to his black eye.)

“Do you want me to hold it?” Spencer questions, letting his right eye flutter closed as you dab at the slice on his cheek with your cloth, the cool water dripping down the sharp lines of his cheekbones towards his jawline. “The peas, I mean.”

“No,” you’re quick to respond, and you’re sure he’s having no difficulty profiling exactly why you’d rather him keep his hands right where they are. “I’ve got it.”

His voice is hardly above a breath as he murmurs alright, tilting his head towards you as you rub gently at the cut before leaning forward, chest pressed close to his as you lazily toss the rag onto the table sitting behind the couch. Now you can feel his heart beating - or maybe it’s yours? - and when you shift back to your previous position, you can’t possibly help yourself from leaning down, slotting your lips against his and feeling his tongue instinctively slip into your mouth.

Hands slide up your thighs, pausing for a brief moment to grope at your ass before continuing their trek upwards. Your free hand not holding the makeshift ice pack to his eye tangles in his hair, fingertips digging in his scalp as his arms wrap securely around your waist, hips bucking up into yours and that’s when you pull away. Smooth your fingers through his hair, watch the way he swallows thickly, lips moist with the mixture of your saliva.

“Sorry,” you murmur, dragging your hand from his head down to his cheek, cupping his face in your palm as he leans into your touch. He looks almost betrayed, bottom lip perking out in a pout and you sigh. “I have to patch you up, Spence.”

“I’ll be fine,” Spencer insists, sliding his hands up your waist as you work at opening the cap of the Vaseline. Your fingers are still wet from clutching the cloth and trying to do it one handed proves to be useless, and your boyfriend reluctantly pulls his hands from your waist to open the jelly for you with an ease that sends heat creeping up your cheeks before returning his palms back to their spot. “Do you know how many times I’ve gotten cut on the job?”

“I don’t think I want to know.” You dip your finger into the Vaseline and bring it up to his cheekbones, dabbing it gently on the cut. When you’ve finished you rub the jelly off of your finger and onto your sleep shorts, cringing at the slimy feeling before reaching for the bandaid sitting between your bodies. “I’m almost done.”

You fumble with the band aid, pulling both plastic pieces off the ends before pressing yourself closer to Spencer, holding the bag of peas to his eye with your forearm as you grip the adhesive with both hands. Steady fingers press the sticky band aid to his newly cleaned cut, making sure it’s perfectly centered over the injury before smoothing your fingers over it, giving it one light slap to make sure it stuck.

“Voila,” you exhale, sitting backwards to examine your work. “All done.”

“Thank God,” Spencer sighs, and you have just one spare moment of lingering eye contact before he’s pushing his head up, lips pressing to yours so intensely that you’re nearly overwhelmed by it. Immediately you part your lips for him, feeling his tongue slip into your mouth as you arch your back, chest pressed against his as you lean into his touch. The bag you’d been clutching to his eye drops from your grasp, falling between your bodies as you press both palms to the side of his face, grinning against his mouth as he jumps. “Your hands are so cold.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, feeling his fingertips creep up your back, pushing your shirt up until his palms are pressed to your bare skin, a chill rolling up your spine, and a soft whine emits from your throat into his mouth just as his fingers begin toying with the clasp of your bra. “Don’t tease, Spence - take it off, please.”

He exhales into your mouth and you furrow your eyebrows, pulling away from him and dropping your forehead against his. “You’re so impatient.” And then his hands slide back down your back, away from the clasp you’re desperate for him to undo. “It makes sense - you’re always extra needy when I come home from missions. Getting off through the phone isn’t as good as the real thing, is it? Not for you.”

A soft sigh escapes your lips as Spencer leans forward, lips attaching to the underside of your jaw and you can feel him suckling softly on the soft skin, surely looking to leave one of the lasting marks that he loves to examine days after he makes them. Perhaps it’s because of the long distance nature of his job that he enjoys marking you up, making sure anyone with wandering eyes knows that you’re accounted for even when he’s not with you, or maybe he just likes claiming you as his own - either way, you wouldn’t dare to object. “Don’t profile me,” you plead, head tilting backwards as Spencer’s lips pull off of your jawline with a soft pop, thumb stroking over the skin he’d been assaulting as if to assess whether the hickey he’d left is adequate. “Come on, Spence.”

You reach down for the bottom of your tank top, pulling the offending fabric up and over your head without another moment of hesitation. The shirt is discarded, tossed to a corner of the sitting room and you don’t bother confirming where it goes - you just loop your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, leaning in to kiss him again but he stops you, tugging on your bra strap with not nearly enough strength to prevent your movement but you accept the gesture, leaning backwards until your eyes connect with his.

“Can’t you just indulge me?” you question, arching your back into Spencer’s touch as his hands move from around your back to your chest, palms cupping your tits through your bra. “Please?”

There’s another pause, Spencer’s fingertips dipping into the cups of your bra, palms warm against your chest. “Well, since you asked nicely.”

You smile, leaning in to attach your lips to his, teeth gently sinking into his bottom lip just as he pulls down the straps of your bra, letting them fall down your arms so he can pull the cups down over your breasts. Fingertips pinch your nipples and you whine into his mouth, pushing your chest further into his hands as he slips his tongue into your mouth.

For a minute you go on just like that - hands on your tits, groping the skin and thumbing your nipples until you pull your lips from his, gasping in a breath as you rock your hips against the bulge in his pants. “Fuck,” he breathes as your fingers go to the buttons of his shirt, pulling them open one by one to expose more and more of his chest to you, and your head dips down to press a kiss to his collarbone just as you’d fantasized doing before.

When you’ve undone every button you pull both halves of his shirt apart, tugging the sleeves down his arms and he removes his hands from your body so you can pull it off - it’s thrown in another direction much like your tank top and you’re more than grateful to have Spencer’s entire torso exposed to you. Hands smooth up and down his chest, feeling his skin burst up in goosebumps beneath your touch and you watch his mouth part open with pleasure before leaning forward again, slotting your lips against his once more.

“Take my bra off,” you beg, and his eyebrows arch upwards like the request was simply blasphemous. “Please, Spence - please - want you to touch me -”

“I am touching you.” And to prove his point his hands smooth up and down your waist, fingertips drumming your skin. 

Your eyes drift shut as Spencer’s hips roll up into yours, prominent bulge brushing against your clit even through your sleep shorts and you focus your hands on his shoulders, using your grasp as leverage to rock your hips further into his. “Just take it off - don’t tease me, please!”

You’re not sure whether it’s his own desires to strip you down or if he’s not interested in teasing you any longer but no matter - Spencer’s fingers slide up your back, briefly fiddling with the clasp of your bra before undoing it and the cups fall away from your chest, straps sliding down your arms and you pull it off, tossing it over the top of the couch. The coldness of the apartment bites at your skin and a shiver rolls through your spine, the sensation only heightened as Spencer ducks his head down, tongue flicking against your nipple before his lips close around it, cheeks hollowing as he sucks the hollow bud and you throw your head back with a loud cry.

“Take your shorts off,” Spencer mumbles, voice muffled against your tits and you oblige, shaky hands dropping to tug the tie on your shorts free. It’s a struggle to pull them off your legs while straddling him, his arms wrapping around your back to hold your chest to his mouth as you maneuver the fabric until you can drop it over the side of the couch, leaving you only in your panties and he’s quick to take advantage of your new near-nudeness. Hands slide down your back, fingers hooking in the hem of your thong and palms groping your ass and whatever shyness he’d had before about groping your thighs is gone - when things get going he’s fucking unstoppable and that’s what you love. 

You drag your hands down his chest, fingertips dragging feather-light on his stomach before you reach his lap, undoing the button on his pants and pulling the zipper down. His hips buck upwards when your fingertips brush the bulge in his boxers and you bite back your smile, resting your forehead against his once more as you pull the hem of his underwear down over his cock, hand wrapping around his erection without another second of hesitation and Spencer’s head drops back onto the cushion, a low groan emitting from his throat.

His fingers follow the hem of your thong around your hips until he’s tracing the fabric covering your pussy, cloth soaked with your arousal and even just the slightest touch has you whining out, grasp tightening around his cock. “I need to be inside you,” Spencer murmurs, and the words are so filth-laden that you moan out again, feeling his fingers pull your panties to the side until his digits dip through your folds, circling your clit and smirking at the way you tremor above him. “You want that too, don’t you? I can tell - you’re shaking and you keep making those little noises.”

Don’t profile me is what you would say if you were in any other state of mind but the only thing you can think to respond with is a soft moan, dropping your head back as Spencer leans in, lips closing in around your throat again. Your hand pumps his cock, thighs quivering in their efforts to hold yourself above him, and his hand that isn’t holding your panties to the side mercifully slides to your ass, holding you up as you align him with your entrance. Slowly you sink down onto him - for a guy so skinny he’s bigger than you’d expect and you always need to start slow to adjust - and within seconds you’ve bottomed out, feeling his cock buried deeper inside of you than you could ever imagine, and the two of you collectively lean in to press your lips together, moans landing inside each other’s mouths.

“Oh, God,” you breathe, shifting closer to him so your chests brush together and Spencer’s arm tightens around your back, holding you as tight to him as possible. He knows enough to give you a moment’s adjustment period, body quivering as he struggles to stay still but he’d never dream of moving until you’re perfectly comfortable. “Okay - move, Spence - I’m ready - need you to fuck me -”

He nods immediately, fingernails scratching into the sides of your waist as you pull yourself up, lifting until only the tip of his cock remains buried in your pussy before sinking back down, head pulling away from his to drop back in ecstasy at the sensation. Immediately you feel Spencer’s head bury itself in the junction between your neck and shoulder, breath hot and lips puckered against your skin as he presses a permanent kiss to the side of your throat, arms around your body helping you move up and down on him. 

It takes a moment for you two to work yourselves into a groove, feeling Spencer’s teeth dig into your throat as you sink back down onto him over and over again - but once you do it feels fucking miraculous, rolling your hips back and forth so your clit brushes against his pelvic bone. Your palms press to the sides of his face, feeling the light dusting of facial hair beneath your touch and you nearly want to pull his head up, smash your lips together until you’re breathless but the way he’s suckling dark marks around your throat feels so good and you’re not sure you’re willing to give it up - you compromise by looping your arms around his neck, fingernails scratching into the base of his neck.

“God, Spencer,” you moan, your speed picking up as you lift yourself off of him and slam back down, feeling his breathing pick up into your neck as his nails dig so deep into your waist that it nearly hurts but in the best fucking way possible. He loves when you praise him - you know that - and you never have an issue indulging him. “Feels so good - filling me so good -”

And there’s that telltale groan into your neck followed by Spencer pulling his lips from your throat and when your eyes meet his they’re clouded with lust, pupils drowning out the normal chocolate tone of his orbs that you love to see but hell if you don’t adore seeing him like this. His mouth drops open with a silent groan as you grind your hips into his, tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck just the way you know he likes.

Your thighs burn vehemently as you struggle to keep yourself upright, the urge to merely collapse into your boyfriend’s strong arms nearly overwhelming but your desire to prolong the pleasure coursing through your body far outweighs it. Spencer can feel your struggle - it’s the profiler in him, you’d assume - and his arms slowly unwrap from around your body, palms landing on the underside of your ass and using the leverage to work you up and down. It doesn’t do much to alleviate the slight burn in your muscle but you appreciate it and so you lean in, pull Spencer’s face close to yours and close your lips to his once more.

“Gonna fill you up,” Spencer grunts and the words send your stomach turning just as his cock brushes that sweet spot deep inside of you that has your back arching, dropping your head into his shoulder with a desperate sob. “You want that?”

You nod desperately, eyes burning with tears derived from the pure ecstasy afflicting your body as you unwind one of your arms from his neck, pressing two of your fingers to your clit and rubbing small circles into the sensitive bud. Spencer typically always wears a condom - better safe than sorry is his motto - but it never stops him from hissing into your ear every time about how much he wants to fill you up and you fucking yearn for it, too. You need it. “Do it, Spence - please, I want you t - to fill me up.”

His hips thrust up into yours, meeting you halfway as a breathy groan escapes his throat. “I can’t -”

“I went on birth control, Spence, you can.”

He pauses - you lift your head up to look at him, hips briefly slowing down in their relentless rocking against his. “You know, on average the pill is only 91% effective.”

You grin, leaning in to press a kiss to Spencer’s lips as his hips begin to roll up into yours again, his fingertips digging into the globes of your ass. “Let’s take our chances.”

It seems to be a good enough answer to him and so he nods, sweaty curls dropping onto his forehead and you bring your free hand up, pushing his hair back as your other hand focuses on circling your clit, sending lightning bolts of pleasure through your body. You’re so close you can practically taste your impending release on the tip of your tongue and you know Spencer’s almost there, too - can feel his cock, twitching deep inside of you, surely mere seconds away from imploding - and you clench around him just as you pinch your clit between your fingers and -

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder and you never appreciate just how true the sentiment is until reunion sex with Spencer. After nearly a week of not seeing or touching each other your orgasm is fucking miraculous, stars dotting your vision as you throw your head back and your entire body feels like it’s floating, pleasure rolling through your body like a tsunami intent on destruction in the greatest way possible. You ground your hips into his, forcing him inside you to the hilt as your cunt flutters around his cock and you barely hear his loud moan, the noise growing higher as his hips buck into yours and then you can feel him cumming, the sensation hot in your core as he spurts inside of you.

“Oh, fuck,” Spencer groans, smoothing his hands up your back as your hips roll against his, riding out both of your orgasms as you drop your head into his shoulder, feeling his lips land against your temple. “That’s - God, that’s so good.”

Yes, it is. It feels so fucking good, feeling him cumming deep inside of you and it’s all you can do to sit there and take it in, body going nearly limp against his until his arms are the only thing holding you up, his hands massaging your back as you let your eyes shut, focusing solely on steadying your breathing as the aftershocks of your release course through your veins.

There’s a second of silence - only a second, where the only noise from either of you is the sound of your panting, both of you desperate to catch your breath in the wake of it all - and then Spencer leans backwards, your chests pressed together as you press your lips to his cheek, feeling rather than seeing his lips turn upwards into a smile.

“Maybe I should get beat up by an unsub more often,” your boyfriend mumbles, smoothing his fingers through your hair, and you lift your head up to rest your chin to his shoulder, narrowing your eyes.

“You’d better not.” You shift on his lap, the burn in your muscles settling into a dull ache but you don’t have the energy to readjust - it’s a pain you don’t quite dislike, anyway. “I hate seeing you all cut up. I can’t believe anyone would want to ruin this pretty face.”

You raise your hand up, playfully smacking his cheek twice and he smiles. Then his hands grip onto your waist, lifting you up just a bit until his softened cock slips out of you and with just a bit of maneuvering he lies you down on the couch, shifting until he’s spooning you, chest pressed to your back and your heads resting on the cushion. One glance down tells you that this position can’t possibly be comfortable for him, his leg bent awkwardly and the other thrown over the edge of the couch but when he wraps his arms around your body you can’t bring it in yourself to mind too much.

The cool air of his apartment bites at your skin but it’s relieving, feeling the cold wash away the sweat built up on your skin from being so close to him - it’s a contrast you’re grateful for and it’s the reason you don’t tug the afghan hanging over the back of the couch over your bodies.

Well, you suppose that for every shortcoming of dating someone with a job like his there’s a bonus. And this - feeling his arms tight around your body, head pressed back into his chest with his heartbeat in your ears and his soft breathing onto your head - you’d certainly consider it a bonus.

[reddeadreference]

Blog Progress Update (Travel Blog Style #19)

Drafts 75 - Queue 21

I’m very slowly filling the queue. I’m almost done with Scarlett Meadows locations.

This update has a lot of photos which is why it’s got a “read more” cause it got long.

On our quest for Orchids Arthur runs into a kid missing a dog in Strawberry… now I remember a kid missing a dog in Emerald Ranch… and I remember bad things happening… this better not be the same thing. Weird how this kid lives at the same house Skinny lived in… YAY HAPPY ENDING!

Looking for orchids again and OMFG I’ve never just randomly seen nite folk in the woods without it being an ambush. Two guys were walking away from a dead body on the edge of the water (that had predator bait on it, wtf). One had a torch the other a bow.

On the last exotic quest and I’m headin back to camp cause the sparrow and dragon flowers are up there. Not once this playthrough has someone come for Arthur when he spends WEEKS away from camp (nor has anyone broken me out of jail… all the stuff he does for this gang and nothing.… come on guys..).

Pearson… you’re telling me 99 bird meat wasn’t enough?

HA! Micah was about to talk to me, Arthur coughed a bit as he walked over BUT I got to the shave station and Micah walked away!

(WHY IS ABIGAIL SO DANG PRETTY T_T)

So I’m leaving camp, sayin good morning to Charles as I go… and I see the red of an enemy on my mini map… and my controller starts flashing red and white… go to the map and there’s two fucking bounty hunters to the right of camp, I’m going to the left… ISTG if it says I led enemies to camp I’m gonna scream. They’re heading in my direction… they’re gonna go THROUGH camp… FUUU-

(I realized way too late I should have gotten more photos of Arthur picking flowers...)

Ran into the Feral Man for the third time so I followed him back, didn’t know you could “greet” the wolves (Arthur just says “looks like I’m intruding” in a nervous tone and immediately they attack). Got the photos of the journal and went to reloaded a previous save because I felt bad…  but i somehow didn’t save even though I remember saving… and I’m not spending another hour looking for flowers X.x Sorry Wolf man..

Last flowers to get are back in the bayou. It’s night. I don’t have my headphones on. I’m asking for death.

Case in point a gator watching me admire a flower...

White dot behind me, turn and 4 fucking nite folk running at me with various blades. JFC, always have your headphones on OR don’t fucking go into the bayou at night!

I FORGOT THE PEARLS ON THE GUN WERE FROM TAHITI! XD

“Have you been?”

“Nearly…”

Omg Arthur’s lil “whoa..” at the hat was so cute! He actually likes it!

Now for a wash, a nap, a shave and a new outfit for the hat.

Voila~ (I couldn’t pick a shirt.. also I’m sorry this is chapter 6 Arthur so he looks so tired... T-T)

Okay now I’m working on getting more Lemoyne stuff into the queue. Went by Hill Haven Ranch to retake photos of Face Rock.. and apparently ... the house has an inside… I can take pictures… I need to come back at night because the man may or may not have recognized Arthur from that night with Uncle…

Camped out til night....

On my way there I got distracted by the stars… I wish real life had stars like this… damn light pollution… (I REALLY love how this photo looks =D)

FORGOT ABOUT THE DOG

… okay… I saved… I’m gonna have to do some things Arthur wouldn’t agree with.. HOGTIE FASTER!

So I’m in the house.. Wondering why out of the three ranchers none of them looked like the guy from earlier… then I’m in camera mode and find him…oddly enough he’s not marked as an enemy… he’s an X… dude you’re just hogtied, chill..

Ooooo~ The past 10 minutes were all a dream~ ooooo~

Also look at this bird I found on Deer Cottage when I was over there ^_^

(Western filter)

Also also (last one I swear) I really like this crane(?) photo I took

(it was kinda far away so I had to zoom via lens)

[crystal-methionine]

The Post-Eurovision ranking and comments from an American that nobody asked for:

1. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Gjon’s Tears - Tout l’univers: I absolutely was enamored by this song, its artistry, and the artist. He can really sing and one of my early favorites from this year. So happy for him to get in the top 3 bc it was well deserved. 100/10

2. Italy 🇮🇹 Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni: Deserved winners. As queer as you can get and I am here for it. Another early favorite of mine constantly fighting with Switzerland for the top spot. 100/10

3. Iceland 🇮🇸 Dadi og Gagnamagnid - 10 Years: A beautiful song dedicated to his wife and deserved Top 5 for sure. Last year’s song would have won hands down so I’m bummed he couldn’t win the first one for Iceland but brilliant song and I hope the group stays together to produce more music. 99/10

4. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old: Eurovision fandom will forever say Imaginary Friend or Ugly Cry was the better song to send, but I don’t think they would have won the contest either. This year was strong, and I personally think Growing Up was a perfect choice from Victoria. It deserved top 10 so I was pissed that it came 11th on the night and received so few televotes. 97/10

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Go_A - SHUM: To all y’all who said this wouldn’t qualify when the new version came out, eat those words hun. This was a masterpiece, and the live performances just elevated it further. Honestly, Kateryna could step on me, and I would let her. Who doesn’t love an ethnic modern fusion rave? 95/10

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 Hurricane - Loco Loco: I honestly have to say when it came out, it was never breaking my top 20, but here we are. This group of gals is amazing. The choreo, hairography, and the still great vocals won my gay ass over. They served and deserved top 10 in my eye. 90/10

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Stefania - Last Dance: Much like Serbia, I kinda dismissed this as a top 10 song at first, but after many listens and then the live shows, it was one of the best songs this year. Last year’s song was nowhere near a qualifier for me, and then I thought they had a good chance of being top 5 this year. Amazing improvement and can’t wait to see what comes next from Stefania. 80/10

8. Malta 🇲🇹 Destiny - Je me casse: Not going to lie, the studio definitely did more for me. It was up with Italy and Switzerland for winner contention until the live shows. Don’t get me wrong, Destiny is still amazing live, and the song is a deserved top 5 song. However, the costume and staging just really didn’t add to the song and I think detracted a bit. Her song last year was also much better in my opinion. 75/10

9. San Marino 🇸🇲 Senhit ft Flo Rida - Adrenalina: Oh boy this was a party, and the fact Flo Rida actually was there made it even better. The staging and costuming was absolutely camp, and I was here for it. This was definitely not underrated by fans beforehand, but the jury and televote were beyond robberies in my opinion. Granted I know the backing vocals were carrying the chorus a lot so in terms of vocals, I can see where this song got dinged, but this should have been San Marino’s best ever result at Eurovision, and it wasn’t so I’m mad. 60/10

10. France 🇫🇷 Barbara Pravi - Voila: The new Edith Piaf and probably one of the most representative of the country’s culture for a song. A definite deserved runner up on the night but for me 10th place. I loved the staging, the costume, the emotions. It was all right for Eurovision and me. 50/10

11. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Elena Tsingarou - El Diablo: Come through Cyprus with another female pop banger. I’d say if the formula ain’t broke don’t fix it, but wasn’t really enough to crack top 10 this year. Another early favorite of mine this year but soon got eclipsed. Still going to be listening to El Diablo for a while. 49/10

12. Russia 🇷🇺 Manizha - Russian Woman: I can’t lie that at first, this song was absolutely trash to me but quickly rose the ranks and became one of my faves. Same thing happened last year with Uno. We also always love a good female empowerment moment with the native language thrown in. Manizha is a girlboss without the gaslighting and a true queen. Deserved top 10 the night of. 40/10

13. Lithuania 🇱🇹 The Roop - Discoteque: An earworm for first listen and was top 10 for a while for me but like Cyprus, lost out to some others. No doubt this is a deserved top 10 the night of. 35/10

14. Croatia 🇭🇷 Albina - Tick Tock: The first song to get me pressed on it’s placement. Deserved to be in the final over both Israel and Norway (please come for me I don’t care). They freakin rocked that stage during the semis and the song is absolutely a bop. Albina deserved better. 30/10

15. Sweden 🇸🇪 Tusse - Voices: A beautiful song by an amazing artist. Sure the lyrics were a bit cliche Eurovision but guess what...it’s Eurovision. I can hear the voices. Keep carrying on Tusse. 25/10

16. Albania 🇦🇱 Anxehla Peristeri - Karma: This song grew on me a lot. I liked it but wasn’t a don’t skip for a while on my playlist. The live performance changed it for me. She slayed and the staging was everything for Miss Thing. Also native language brownie points. 24/10

17. Finland 🇫🇮 Blind Channel - Darkside: Before you come for me for having this at 17th, keep reading. I’m not a big fan of the lyrics but the song is absolutely fantastic. This style of music isn’t something I pull out on a playlist often, but I had my middle fingers up for this one (and pointed at Germany but we’ll discuss later). Deserved top 10 as they rocked it on stage. 20/10

18. The Netherlands 🇳🇱 Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age: I absolutely do not understand the hate for this song. I was also a huge fan of Grow last year so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised for being generally alone again. The fact it got 0 points in the televote and only 11 in the jury is not surprising but extremely disappointing to me. This song is a masterpiece much like the ones ranked above it. Jeangu, you are amazing and deserved so much better than this. 20/10

19. Belgium 🇧🇪 Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place: Fantastic song but fantastic artists. Always here for a dark pop moment. Gonna go get my own Johnny Cash T-shirt. 15/10

20. Spain 🇪🇸 Blas Cantó - Voy a Quedarme: Such a heartfelt ballad. I enjoyed it quite a bit and don’t understand the hate it has. Didn’t deserve 0 points in the televote. 14/10

21. Denmark 🇩🇰 Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden: Look we all know this song is cheesy but it’s the cheesiest Velveeta queso loco so it’s ranked so high in my opinion. This is a nod to the whacky and weird Eurovision I love. It’s always in my head and I always find myself dancing along. Deserved to be in the final over two of the songs in Semi 2. 13/10

22. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Efendi - Mata Hari: As far as the song goes, it’s enjoyable, but the stage show was a hot mess in my opinion. The choreo looked a mess and the different sheer legging configurations on the backup dancers was not the correct fashion choice in my opinion as I was distracted by the thought of why are they all different. Did deserve their spot in the final though. 12/10

23. Moldova 🇲🇩 Natalia Gordienko - Sugar: The studio version of this song is a heavily replayed one on my playlist bc of the drop and dance-ability of the song. However the downfall of the song was it’s live performance. The staging was fine and the choreo was great but those attempted sexy whisper vocals were not the choice to go with. I don’t want to sugar-coat this 😝 so they were terrible. Glad she made it but I felt her position in the final was one of just pure luck. 11/10

24. UK 🇬🇧 James Newman - Embers: The nul points was a huge ass oof. This song isn’t bad but I can see where people didn’t vote for it bc it’s not super memorable in terms of who all was participating this year. I like the song and always sing and dance along. 10/10

25. Israel 🇮🇱 Eden Alene - Set Me Free: This is how to do a revamp and be successful. Eden is a fantastic artist who can clearly sing, but the live performance was not all that sans the whistle tones. Yet the whistle tones aside, the song is lacking a lot. When looking back at the songs available, this one should not have been the selected one. I was always on the fence with this one and still am. 9.5/10

26. Czechia 🇨🇿 Benny Cristo - Omaga: The live definitely hurt this song in the first minute and a half. The second half was absolutely what should have happened in terms of vocals. Still like the song and listen to it often. 9.25/10

27. Ireland 🇮🇪 Leslie Roy - Maps: This song was a victim of a super strong bloodbath and shoddy staging ideas. The song is arresting and a bop. Leslie’s gruff voice mixed with the modernized Irish sounds is a match made. The staging of this song that required Leslie to run along with the beat and the distracting and constantly changing bits of the performance we’re definitely it’s downfall. It didn’t deserve last place in Semi 1 though. 9.25/10

28. Portugal 🇵🇹 The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side: I am the first to admit that while I don’t like the song, it deserved the final. The staging and atmosphere elevated the song. 9/10

29. Austria 🇦🇹 Vincent Bueno - Amen: In the battle of the Amens, this one wins solely based on the classy and amazing staging. Don’t get me wrong, Slovenia’s was also elevating but this one did it better. 8.5/10

30. Australia 🇦🇺 Montaigne - Technicolor: This song is a fantastic one for studio. The live since the Sydney Mardi Gras performance has been rough and didn’t necessarily improve. I feel bad bc I do really love this song but it definitely didn’t deserve to qualify. This being said, I love Montaigne, and Don’t Break Me was my runner up last year, and I still listen to it as my anthem when I’m feeling down. I wish I could rank this higher but I can’t. 8.5/10

31. Romania 🇷🇴 Roxen - Amnesia: This song is great in the studio but it got old real fast for me and I don’t know why. This mixed with the poor vocals and the bizarre costume:stage combo was really what did this in and got this low in my ranking. 8.25/10

32. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Ana Soklic - Amen: The loser of the Amen battle, but just barely. The song and vocals are better in my opinion but the whole package was just barely edged out in the end. 8/10

33. Latvia 🇱🇻 Samanta Tīna - Moon Is Rising: Look, this song is nowhere near as good as last years. The queeeeeen sashayed away with that annoying trap beat. 8/10

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 Vasil - Here I Stand: Leave it to the gays for bringing musical theatre to Eurovision. The song honestly isn’t that special or memorable but he’s higher up bc his stage and voice are amazing. 7/10

35. Norway 🇳🇴 Tix - Fallen Angel: A great message on mental health outside of the song and Tix seems like a quality fella but I do not like the song. I preferred it in Norwegian. And this low ranking is not at all influenced over him beating out Keiino (but maybe a slight bit tho). 5/10

36. Estonia 🇪🇪 Uku Suviste - The Lucky One: While this was 1000% better than last years entry, it still was relatively boring. The stage was equally as boring so sorry Estonia, but you didn’t make the mark. 4.5/10

37. Poland 🇵🇱 Rafael - The Ride: This throwback to the 80s was a bad one. The attempt at a one hit wonder vibe really hurt it along with the artist’s terrible vocals. Also half the time, he was behind the pyro and relying on backup vocals. 4/10

38. Georgia 🇬🇪 Tornike Kipiani - You: You really should not have to wait so long for the more upbeat rock ending of this. If it was that last 30 seconds for 3 minutes, it would be much better. A definite step back from last year. 1/10

39. Germany 🇩🇪 Jendrick - I Don’t Feel Hate: Jendrick might not feel hate but I do bc that is all I feel when this song comes on. 0.5/10

[stampwithtami]

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[just-the-hiddles]

That’s Not My Name | Loki x Reader

A/N: Based roughly off a Tumblr conversation where it was discussed about who could say no to Loki and how would he react to that one girl who says no.  

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: You thought you hit the lottery when you were hired at Stark Industries and then you somehow ended up as Loki’s personal assistant.  Which is not all bad as you find the God of Mischief very attractive.  But you’re not willing to jeopardize job for the possibility of a relationship.  Loki helps with that... with disastrous results.  

Warnings: Cursing (most likely), perhaps if you squint hints of Loki taking advantage of a power dynamic but very slight if at all. 

Word Count: 2839 (yeah this one got away from me)

Whole Enchilada Tag List: @winterisakiller @nonsensicalobsessions @hopelessromanticspoonie @yespolkadotkitty @pinkzz123 @jessiejunebug @cherrygeek86 @littleredstarfish @rjohnson1280 @the-minus-four @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @catsladen @coppercorn-and-cauldron @gerli49 @lovesmesomehiddles @devilbat @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @tinchentitri @theheartofpenelope @noplacelikehome77 @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore @snoopy3000 @voila-tout @kitkatd7 @queenoftheunderdark @xxloki81xx @thewaithfuckingannoyme @kcd15 @amirra88 @tomhiddles2 @malkaviangirl @evanlys19 @thejemersoninferno @sadwaywardkid @is-it-madness @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @outlandishponderings @peterman-spideyparker @caffiend-queen @wolfsmom1​ @sleepylunarwolf​ 

God of Mischief Tag List:  @drakesfiance @obtain-this-grain @theoneanna @vodka-and-some-sass @brucestephenbucky @lokilover2000 @lokixme @jade10077 @bluefrenchfries604 @myraiswack​ @rosierossette​ @lots-of-loki​ @cateyes315​ @readsalot73​ @villainousshakespeare​ 

Story Tags: @amirahiddleston​ @cynic-spirit​ @chezagnes​ @el-rezet​

Untaggables: @jumpxjess @bitchcraft-at-its-finest @hrtsgetbrkn @sterwild @justmylife0 @ciaodarknessmyheart @disconnectedswift @jeffreydohmerthehumannommer 

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN, JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO A LIST!!

-

This was not part of the job description. Pepper Potts hired you as public relations for the Avengers. Yet you somehow had become Loki’s personal assistant. At this moment, you stood in the middle of his large living quarters in Avenger Tower, holding a growing pile of menswear in your arms.

“What do you think of this one?” Loki asked as he emerged wearing a dark gray double-breasted suit. It suited his lean features well.

“It’s nice.” you commented.

“Just nice?” Loki spun on his heel to face you.

Truth be told, you believed Loki would look fantastic in a potato sack. But you were not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing.

“I mean it’s fine.”

“Fine?!” his voice growing more terse. “I need to appear resplendent.” He stomped off to find a more suitable option.

As the door slammed behind him, you giggled. It was easy to rile the Trickster up you almost made it a game. 1 point for every tense conversation, 2 points for every curse word, 5 points for every stomp off, and 10 points for every time he sent you away. Your record was 75 points in a single day.

The door opened, and you composed yourself.

“How about this?” Loki turned for you to take in the entire outfit. A single-breasted black suit. It seemed to glimmer green in the light. The suit skimmed along the planes of Loki’s body in a way that made you wonder what he looked like underneath all that fabric. But you shoved the thought aside as entirely unprofessional.

“Better.” you answered with a disinterested nod.

“I guess that will have to do.” Loki grumbled. “Now go get dressed. We are leaving.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’re my date for the event.” Loki flicked off a piece of lint from his lapel. “Did I not tell you?”

“You most certainly did not!”

“My mistake.” he apologized, but his eyes said he knew what he was doing.

“With all due respect, I will have to decline.” you began backing out of the room.

“You can’t. I have already RSVP’d.”

You pulled up to your full height. “I appreciate the invitation but it would be unprofessional.” You opened the door and stepped through. “Now if you will excuse me, Good evening.” You pulled the door shut before Loki could convince you otherwise.

-

Loki hadn’t expected you to say yes, but he figured he would ask you just the same. You seemed immune to his charms and invitations. It both infuriated and excited him at the same time.

“How did last night go, brother?” Thor asked as Loki waltzed into the common room kitchen late that morning.

“Fine, Thor.” Loki poured himself a cup of coffee.

“If it went fine, why did I see your date leaving the Tower at the end of the workday?”

“A minor setback. She is good at her job and doesn’t want to jeopardize anything.”

“And her saying no doesn’t bother you in the slightest?” Thor questioned.

“So the Trickster got shot down again?” Sam piped up from the couch. “I got to meet this girl and buy her dinner.”

Loki sauntered over to Sam, lifting him to standing by his shirt front. “You will do nothing of the sort, Bird Man. Do you understand?”

Sam pushed Loki off of him, smoothing out his t-shirt. “Calm down. I was joking. You must have it bad for this girl.”

“I don't know what ‘it’ you speak of but I expect you to keep your distance.”

“Whatever, man.” Sam pointed to Thor. “Keep your crazy brother away from me. No wonder she said no.”

Loki contemplated setting Sam on fire but thought better.

“Do you think me coarse?” Loki pondered.

“At times. It is what makes you so charming.” Thor added.

“What makes Reindeer Games charming? His knack for accessorizing?” Tony walked into the room.

Loki flicked his wrist and Tony slipped the entire pot of coffee down his front. “Sorry, flick of the wrist.” Loki snarked.

-

You noticed Loki’s attitude improved over the next several weeks. His tone softened, and his demands became requests. You found it hard to play the game of taunting him.

“Dove.” Loki called from the other room.

You rolled your eyes. “You know I have a name, right? And it’s not Dove?”

“I am well aware of your name. I prefer the nickname.” Loki gestured for you to come in. “I need you to have a courier take these across town and then you can leave for the day.”

He handed you a thick envelope with an address scrawled on the front in Loki’s handwriting.

“That’s it?” you questioned.

Loki looked up. “Were you expecting something else?”

Yes! you thought. I was expecting snark and impossible demands. What happened to the Loki of two weeks ago who made you travel to no less than four coffee shops to find him the perfect latte.

“No!” you corrected. “I will take care of this right away.” You headed to the door and turned before closing it. “Thank you.” The two of you exchanged smiles.

-

“I swear it is Invasion of the Body Snatchers or something.” You slouched in the big chair in Pepper’s office.

“Are you sitting there and complaining that Loki is being nice to you?” Pepper narrowed her eyes at you.

“Well… no… yes… maybe?” you smashed your face. “I don’t know. Things were easy when he was an ass, but now…” you trailed off.

“Holy shit.” Pepper sat down in the chair, stunned. “You have feelings for Loki.”

“I do NOT!” you protested, but words felt hollow. “He is insufferable.”

Pepper smiled. “You have always loved a challenge.”

“Is that why you assigned me to him?”

Pepper didn’t answer, but her smile said everything.

“Son of a bitch, Virginia. You could have told me.”

“And spoil all the fun? This has kept Tony entertained for months.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me. And you love this job. You love it and you are good at it.” Pepper stood up, and you stood as well. “So…” She opened the door and shoved you through it. “… figure it out. You’re a problem solver, it should be easy.”

-

“Being nice isn’t working.” Loki sat down on Thor’s couch.

“Are you sure you are being nice?” Thor asked from the closet. “It’s not your natural state.”

“Of course I am being nice. What a ridiculous notion. Nothing.”

“Have you asked her out again?”

“No.”

Thor clapped Loki on the shoulder. “That is your problem, brother. You need to be more direct.” Thor threw on a jacket.

“Where are you going?” Loki screwed up his face.

“Unlike you, brother, I have a date. Now…” he gestured to the door and shut it behind Loki, leaving him alone in the hallway.

-

I need you now.

Those four words sent dread through your body. You groaned.

Can it wait until tomorrow?

No. I expect to see you in 10 minutes.

You pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater before shoving your feet into a pair of moccasins. This better be important.

-

“What on earth are you wearing?” Loki glanced derisively at your outfit.

“Clothes. You said ten minutes, this is what you get on a Friday evening.” you snapped back, crossing your arms.

“I prefer you in heels.” Loki commented offhand, an observation more than a demand.

“What did you want?” You tapped your foot.

Loki’s face lit up as he walked to stand in front of you.

“We are going out tonight.”

“No we are not.”

“Yes we are.”

“No matter how many times you ask me, I will always say no.”

“Why?” he leaned forward. “Am I not attractive? Not pleasing to your eye?”

You shuffled from side to side, looking at the sparse walls of Loki’s room. Anything but looking into his piercing eyes.

“Attractiveness is not a factor. You are my boss, my supervisor. It would be unprofessional.”

Loki smiled as he placed his hands on your shoulders. An act so intimate you glanced to make sure you shut the door.

“A problem easily resolved.” Loki waved you off. “You’re fired.”

You pushed against his chest. “You can’t do that!”

Loki’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. “I can and I did. Nothing stands between us now, my little dove.” You recoiled at his touch.

“I’m not your dove, or your pet, or anything else! If I was hesitant to go out with you before, I am certainly not doing so now!”

“Why not?”

“Why not?! WHY NOT?! You just fired me, you asshole!! That’s why not!!” You ran out of the office and straight into the elevator vacated by Thor and Sam.

“Brother?” Thor knocked on the door.

“I did what you said, and it didn’t work!” Loki yelled, his hands balled into fists.

“What exactly did you say to her?” Sam inquired. “Because most girls don’t run away crying when I ask them out.”

“I asked her out when she said no, I asked why.”

“Why did she say no?” Thor asked.

“Because she was employed by me. So I removed the barrier.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “How did you remove the barrier?”

“I fired her from the position as my assistant.”

“One, she’s not your assistant You commandeered her the moment you saw her.” Sam commented as he stepped into the room. “Two, did you honestly expect her to date you after you fired her from her dream job?”

Loki glanced between Thor and Sam. “Why wouldn’t she?”

Sam shook his head. “I don’t know how to talk to you, man. But if you want to have any shot with her, fix this fast.”

He stormed out while Thor shook his head. “I suggest you call Ms. Potts to correct this, brother.”

-

By the time Loki mustered up the courage to phone Pepper, she was already aware of the situation. You called sobbing about being fired by Loki. Pepper assured you your job was safe and to come in on Monday to her office and straighten things out.

Within an hour, Pepper’s phone rang again.

“Are you out of your mind or is this some weird Asgardian mating ritual?” She yelled into the phone.

“Neither. I was making things easier.”

“By destroying the livelihood of the woman you love?”

Loki protested, but Pepper cut him off, “And don’t even try to talk your way out of this disaster you created.” Loki shut his mouth. “You realize she was in love with you too?”

Loki stopped in his tracks. “What? She told you that?”

“Not in so many words, but I can tell when a woman is in love. Unlike you.”

“I had no idea.” Loki sat. He hoped you fancied him, but love? He never dreamed that far.

“That much is obvious. Keep your distance until I get this straightened out.”

Loki agreed and ended the call.

“God damn it!!” He hurled the phone across the room.

-

Pepper was right, your job was secure. She reassigned you to Stark Industries PR team. It moved your day-to-day activities out of the Avengers Compound.

Loki missed seeing you every day. His heart ached with want. Pepper wouldn’t tell him where you were working.

“This is for your own good.” she said. “Give her some space.”

Patience was not a virtue of Loki’s.

“You’re the CEO of Stark Industries but can’t tell me where a single employee is working?”

“Correction.” Tony responded. “I am the former CEO of Stark Industries and I can tell you where a single employee is working, but I won’t.”

“Why not?” Loki leaned towards Tony.

“Because I prefer all my body parts where they currently are. And Pepper made it clear she will remove some of my favorite ones if I tell you.” Tony quipped.

“That infernal Potts. Always interfering.” Loki muttered.

“Hey!” Tony pointed his finger at Loki. “Only I get to call Pepper infernal. Show some respect.”

Loki slumped in his seat. “How can I apologize when I can’t see or speak to her? She isn’t answering my calls.”

“I don’t think an apology will do, Rock of Ages.” Tony clapped a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Can I give you some advice?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Tony ignored the question. “As a man who has messed up in the love department more than his fair share of times.” Loki rolled his eyes. “You stop the eye roll now, I am trying to help.”

Loki gave a wave. “Continue.”

“As I was saying…” Tony glared at Loki. “... sometimes the best apology is no apology at all. Just do nothing.”

“Bold words from the man who originated the grand gesture.”

“Ironic is it?” Tony tilted his head. “Have some faith. You’re a god that should be easy for you.”

Tony walked away and Loki turned his words over in his head.

-

You hated to admit it but your new position bore you. Stark Industries PR was fine and all but it lacked something. It lacked Loki.

You missed him. His velvety voice beckoning you from the other room. His insane demands. The way his eyes bore right through your soul. Hell, you missed mentally undressing him with your eyes.

“I want my old assignment back.” you demanded as you shut Pepper’s door.

“Excuse me?” Pepper glanced up from her screen.

“I want back into Avengers Tower.”

Pepper’s lips teased into a smile. “No you don’t. You want to see Loki.”

“Is there a difference?”

“I’m not transferring back. Does that answer the question?”

Your shoulders slumped. “Yes.” You slinked out of the office.

Pepper punched in an extension. “It’s time.” she commented to the other person on the line.

-

Loki paced a circle in the lobby of the strange building. He wasn’t certain why he needed to do the interview. Tony insisted they only wanted to speak to him.

Now he waited. His eyes darted at every sound in the cavernous lobby. He kept moving, like a trapped animal, awaiting an attack.

“You.” a familiar voice rang out. Loki spun to find you standing there.

“Yes. Listen…” He took a step forward.

You held a hand up. “I don’t want to hear it. Let’s get this over with.” You led him upstairs to the interview room.

You lingered to watch the interview and found yourself entranced watching Loki speak. Everything from the absentminded lick of his lips to expressive gestures sent warmth coursing through your body. God he is handsome!

“Ready to go?” Loki offered his arm to you. You took it with perhaps too much eagerness that did not go unnoticed by Loki.

He placed his hand over yours, giving a brief squeeze. “I’m happy to see you.” He commented, hopeful.

“It’s good to see you too. I see someone is giving you expert fashion advice.” you giggled, taking in the well-tailored suit.

“I have managed, but no one knows my taste like you do.”

“True.” you chuckled as the two of you entered the elevator.

Loki cleared his throat. “In fact, I find myself missing your company most days.”

“You mean you miss having a lackey? A gal Friday?” your voice growing more terse. You attempted to pull away, but Loki held you tight.

“That’s not what I meant. What I meant…” he mulled over what to say next. “… is that I miss your presence, your voice, your companionship.” Loki sighed.

“Oh.” The rest of the ride down the lobby was an awkward silence. You run your fingers up and down Loki’s sleeve and Loki staring down at the floor.

“Finally.” you both muttered as the doors dinged open. Loki released your arm.

“Goodnight.” Loki gave a head nod. He wanted to say more, but Tony’s words echoed in his head.

“Night.” your heart sank. You expected more, or at least something grand and over the top. Anything.

Loki smiled and waved as he stepped towards the exit.

“Wait!” your voice rang out.

Loki turned to face you, confused. “Did I forget something?”

“Yes.” your voice wavered. “Ask me.”

“Ask you what?”

You moved to stand toe to toe with Loki. You smelled his cologne, woods and spices. You grabbed the lapels of his jacket to tug him down to your height.

“Ask me again.” you whispered in his ear.

Loki’s brow furrowed, and then his eyes widened in realization. “Will you please do me the honor and accompany me to dinner?”

You smiled. “I would love to. Lead the way.”

Loki offered his arm again. “With pleasure, my dove.”

“Still not my name.”

-

Back at Stark Tower, Tony and Pepper crowded over a computer screen.

“See?” Tony beamed. “We are brilliant.”

Pepper leaned back. “I’m just glad it’s all over.”

“Come on, we should offer our services. Stark and Potts Matchmaking.”

“Like you had anything to do with it?” Pepper crossed her arm.

“Fine. Potts and Stark Matchmaking. I am having business cards made.”

Pepper rolled her eyes and went back to work.

[rosespain]

SAFE FOOD RECIPE  80 CAL PER WHOLE BOWL  TASTY VEGAN LETCHO! ♡

Hi!

Since my workplace is closed bcs of pandemic i have a lot of time to cook, so I made my own recipe for vegan letcho which is safe food but more important - it’s extremely tasty, i hope you’’ll try and enjoy it! :) 

Ingredients: 

two big peppers (i mean paprika) ( around 100 kcal, I choose one red and one yellow, but you can as well choose any peppers you like - white, green etc.)  

mushrooms (I add only 100g just for taste, but you can add as much as you like, since it has only 30 kcal per 100g) 

250g tomato puree ( I use one from carton box, 75 kcal, remember to choose it with clear composition, just tomatoes or you can make your own puree/use chopped tomatoes) 

1/2 onion (around 50g, 15 kcal)

100 g of green beans (30 kcal)

1 tbsp of oil (60 kcal)

Whole pot is for 4 big portions (250 g - around 80 kcal)  or 8 smaller (125g, around 40 kcal)

Steps:��

1. Chop an onion then put it into the pot after made oil hot. When it’s a little bit fired add mushrooms and just a bit of salt.

2. Add chopped peppers (paprika) and 1/2 cup of water, leave it on a low heat for few minutes.

3. Add green beans. After few minutes, when it’s a bit stew add water again, this time full the pan to the moment when veggies are covered by water. Cover it with the lid and let it stew for 30 minutes (15 on low heat and 15 on a little bit higher heat) mix it up from time to time! 

4. Add smoked paprika and some other spices you like, I added a bit of black pepper, salt and vegeta. Leave it for another 15 minutes.

5. Add tomato puree and let it boil for another 30 minutes on low heat.

If you want extra calories you can fry mini soya sausage (it’s around 57 kcal per one) and add to your bowl, but remember to not add them into the pot cause they may get overcook. 

Voila, it’s done, I hope you’ll enjoy this recipe :) 

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

author self interview

some of my best friends were doing this thing & said they’d like to see me do the thing, so i am here, doing the thing on the only really active fandom sideblog i have!

fandoms: uh, i think the most notable ones have been harry potter, it (yes, the clown movies), good omens, hsm, and... gossip girl. voila. the first fanfic i ever wrote was an artemis fowl fanfic though. i was like, 12. fandoms i am GOING to get into (hopefully) include the witcher, which im watching for the first time right now, and skulduggery pleasant, which has been recced to me over the years too many times for me to NOT read it.

most popular multi-chapter fic: my hsm fic “boyfriendly” for SURE. i always feel sorry about the people who read that one and go “oh got to check out the rest of this dude’s works” and get hit in the face by my triple digit gg fic count, while the number of hsm fics i have up is... 9. whoops.

favorite story you’ve written so far: listen, all my stories are my babies.... but that said...  the lights that stop me (turn to stone), i think? - more commonly referred to by me as “the blennyfic”. i didn’t even ship blair/jenny at the time, but writing this fic changed that for me. i wanted to write an authentic, honest, SORTED post-canon jenny humphrey, and this story just... ended up going in a certain direction organically, and i just followed it, so that’s something special about it. it was also, at the time of writing, one of the longest commitments i had made in the sense of like - i hadn’t worked as hard or consistently at a single piece of writing in years.  so the fact that i still could.... idk. it’ll always be special to me. 

fic you were nervous to post: hmmm. hard to answer this, i think i’m going to go with it’s not the end (it’s an uncomfortable pause) mostly because i’d spoken about this fic with so many people and shared snippets and blogged about it and there was this quiet thing inside me of like, “what if it does not live up to the hype!” but everyone left really sweet comments on there, and it was validating and set that fear to rest. my partner also read over the whole thing once and said it worked well, and my partner is like. the ONE person who gives me the most blatantly honest, sometimes even harsh, concrit on my writing, so that was validating, too. 

how do you choose your titles: depends on the fic! sometimes, like with “you set my soul alight” it just.. falls into place - in that case, the title is a reference to the song the fic occurs around. sometimes it’s just lyrics or siken quotes. sometimes, like with “as vanilla as a dominatrix” it’s just me offering commentary on what the fic will contain, wink wonk. 

do you outline: for longfic, yes! i ALWAYS forget the details. which isn’t a big deal if i am writing a simple oneshot that i can finish within a week, but the moment something gets bigger and becomes a long term project, i try to outline. let it be known i don’t always succeed. but i DO try.

complete:  not sure what this is asking tbh. 

do you accept prompts: i did for a bit and then the executive dysfuntion hit and i now i am scared to go back, haha. RIP, me. 

upcoming story you’re most excited to write about: already planned the next installment of the nonbinary dan series. also a s4 au that REALLY looks at nate’s parents’ divorce (& involves danhugs for sure.) also the serenessate fic that i am 75% done with but haven’t finished writing yet (whoops.) i am also HOPING to get started writing a blairnessa au.... let’s see how that goes.

stories you’re most excited to read:  whenever part 2 of @mezzoklutz‘s fic “if the choice were mine to make” drops... i will also drop...  catch me fainting like a victorian maiden in an ill-fitting corset. it’s going to be so good!

no pressure tags: anyone & everyone who follows me who is a writer. it doesn’t matter if you’re not in this fandom, even. i was gonna tag people but then got worried about the people i would potentially forget or miss out. so! if you see this and you write, your turn! 

[lady-divine-writes]

Eternity

They give up eternity to be with one another.

To live the rest of their lives on Earth as humans.

No more tempting, no more blessing. No more bowing to Beelzebub and Gabriel.

No more worrying about the Ineffable Plan.

Let fate do its thing while they focus on themselves and their happiness.

Complete and total freedom.

And for Crowley, for the first time officially, free will.

They talk about it for over 200 years before they put any plan into action. It’s the only way they can see being together without Heaven and Hell dogging their every move, without the constant threat of Hellfire and Holy Water for what they’ve done.

For Crowley, however, it’s more. It’s insurance – making certain that Aziraphale wouldn’t fall, wouldn’t become a demon.

Wouldn’t lose his claim on an Eternity in Paradise.

With the use of old scripture that Aziraphale procures from the estate of a deceased archeologist, and with the help of Anathema and Newt’s great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, they find a way. They call in some favors, tear up old contracts, exploit some loopholes, and voila.

Humanity.

The loss of magic takes some getting used to.

The first thing Crowley attempts to miracle is the boot off his car. That’s the day he learns he can no longer park wherever he wants whenever he wants.

And that’s kind of a bummer, along with the discovery that, without his demonic power, his Bentley only caps off at a respectable 75 miles per hour.

Still, they recognize that they’re luckier than most.

Having lived close to 7,000 years by now, Crowley has enough long term stock built up to keep them comfortable for more than a millennia.

Way more money than they’ll ever need.

So they spend it. They travel the world, see everything all over again anew with mortal eyes.

They don’t set foot in London again for close to a decade and it doesn’t dawn on them to care.

But what for immortal beings is barely the blink of an eye, they begin to understand what it means when humans say, “It feels like a lifetime.”

And before they know it, before they’re both ready, that lifetime starts coming to a close.

At the ripe old age of 83, (well, 7,283) Aziraphale begins to slow down.

He doesn’t walk as quickly. He has a hard time getting up. And he coughs all the time – hard enough to shake his body and turn his face bright red.

Hard enough to frighten the life out of Crowley.

Aziraphale doesn’t leave the bookshop most days. It’s been more like home to him than any place in the world. He stays in the back room, stretched out on a sofa, wrapped in a multitude of blankets, reading a book. Those round glasses he used to wear for show are prescription now. Without them, he’s nearly blind.

Some days, Crowley reads to him. On those days, Aziraphale falls asleep leaning against his shoulder, a small, contented smile on his lips.

As Aziraphale gets weaker and weaker, Crowley often asks him, “Do you regret it? Giving up immortality to live as a mortal with me?” And Aziraphale always answers the same: “Not one minute, my dear boy. I only wish we could do it all again.”

Crowley was prepared to go first. He had been for years. Wishful thinking since he knew deep down Aziraphale would take that journey, and without him.

“Heaven wanted their angel back,” people say at his funeral.

Little do they know how right they are.

Crowley doesn’t worry about Aziraphale in the afterlife. He knows in his heart that, regardless of Gabriel’s constant groaning that he’d never give Aziraphale a reference, he had a place reserved for him in heaven.

Crowley knows it just as surely as he knows he doesn’t.

It’s a thought that’s kept him up at night.

There’s always a chance that no one would want him, so he’d probably live forever.

As it turns out, someone does.

Hell tries to tempt him back.

Hastur finds Crowley at the bus stop late one night, drinking red wine from the bottle and staring at the empty space beside him, picturing Aziraphale there that first night he offered to let him stay at his place. Funny thing was, that image had started to get clearer every night he went there.

Hence, he’d started going there a lot.

Hastur tells him he’s been given permission to offer Crowley anything his heart desires. He’s still highly prized in Hell after all, especially after that switcheroo stunt he and Aziraphale pulled. Demons still talk about it – not that an angel infiltrated their midsts and pulled a fast one on them, but how the demon Crowley walked boldly into the head offices of Heaven and spit fire at the Archangel Gabriel.

“The tale has been exaggerated over time,” Hastur says sourly. Nonetheless, Hastur offers him power, a dukedom in hell, free reign. Just ask for it, and he’ll have it.

Crowley polishes off his bottle, then asks for his husband back.

But that, Hastur can’t give to him, even if he wanted to.

Which he doesn’t.

Crowley tells Hastur that regrettably he must decline.

Hastur shrugs. “Don’t worry,” Hastur says with a wicked grin. “In six months, you’ll be ours.”

Crowley doesn’t go back to his flat that night. He simply stays at the bus stop, thinking that part over.

Six months.

He only has six months.

It’s not enough time.

It was never enough time.

They never had enough time.

When the sun comes up, he hears a bird singing, and for some reason, that prompts him to pray. But he doesn’t pray to God.

He prays to Aziraphale.

“What do I do?” he asks. “With the time I have left? How do I make it worthwhile?”

He’s not sure he gets an answer, but he gets a ton of ideas.

Now that he knows how much time he has to work with, he sits down at his office desk and decides on the best way to use it, the mantra, “What would Aziraphale do?” always on his mind.

So he ties up loose ends, starting with his finances.

He has no dependents, so he starts giving money away.

First to the human families he and Aziraphale have known and loved throughout the years, starting with the descendants of Anathema and Newt, Warlock, Adam and The Them. He sets up trusts, then donates the rest to various non-profits Aziraphale would have loved – libraries and museums, animal shelters and wildlife sanctuaries, women’s shelters and orphanages, and selfishly, a botanical garden or two. He sets up scholarships in Aziraphale’s name, has school reading rooms named after him, even backs two start-up French restaurants of very deserving new chefs, requesting only naming rights in return.

Those two restaurants, which cater to the elite and the homeless alike, become Aziraphale Fell’s and The Angel Room.

By the time Crowley is done, he has created a legacy for his husband that will hopefully keep his memory alive for an eternity.

The only request he makes for himself as he drafts his will?

Bury me with my husband.

When that day comes, when he feels it in his bones that his time’s nearly up, he gets dressed in his finest black suit with the addition of his husband’s favorite tartan collar. Long unable to drive, he takes the bus to his husband’s plot. He brings along his favorite rubber tree (which earns him more than a few strange looks), and sits on the grass in front of Aziraphale’s headstone.

It’s consecrated ground, but it doesn’t burn his skin, and even if it did, that wouldn’t keep him away.

Crowley doesn’t know what’s waiting for him on the other side.

When Aziraphale passed on, Crowley panicked. Everything he had, his whole world, died that day.

After he put Aziraphale in the ground, he felt he had nothing to live for.

Now he accepts that what happens will happen.

That’s the Arrangement (this one worthy of the capital A) they made at the beginning of all this. They’d enjoy the time they were given and let fate do its thing.

His ending was written the moment he became mortal.

As Beelzebub always said, what is written is written.

Maybe he’ll be talking about it again with Beelzebub soon.

Best case scenario, he disappears, but he doesn’t think that’s in the cards for him. Not after everything he’s done. He expects fire and he expects pain.

An eternity of it.

As the sun starts to set on him, he talks to Aziraphale one last time. It’s the only real joy he ever had in his life, talking to his angel. That’s the way Aziraphale’s life ended, too – sitting beside his husband, going on and on about the life they shared together, what a blessing it was, how much he loved it.

How much he loved him.

He thanked Crowley, too. Thanked him for everything – from that first day on the wall to his last one, and every one in between.

That’s the way Crowley wants to go, even if Aziraphale isn’t physically with him. Though he’s always felt Aziraphale with him – the same as in the pub so many years ago after the fire in the bookshop. He feels Aziraphale with him now, sitting beside him, listening to every word Crowley has to say. He recounts the events of the past few months the best that he can remember, talks about the people he met, the things he did in Aziraphale’s name, the lives he’d been able to touch using Aziraphale’s memory as his guiding light.

And he tells him he loves him more than a dozen times.

It gets cold early.

It’s late spring, but Crowley can’t stop shivering.

The rubber tree cozies up to him, tries to give him comfort, but it’s not enough.

He’s simply so damned tired.

He puts his head down, laying his cheek approximately where he assumes Aziraphale’s heart would be. He whispers what’s left, everything and anything he can think to say.

He closes his eyes.

A few minutes later, he’s not cold anymore.

And he hasn’t disappeared.

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to light – a light so bright, he should want to turn from it, but he doesn’t. It doesn’t burn his eyes, it doesn’t frighten him.

It’s warm. It’s comforting.

And it knows his name.

His angel name.

But the only voice that matters is the one that whispers in his ear long before his eyes become accustomed to the light.

The voice that welcomes him home.

“Hello, my dear boy. I’ve missed you terribly. It’s so nice to see you again.”

(Inspired by the Michael Sheen tweet where he says that maybe Aziraphale and Crowley give up immortality to live with one another as humans. I’m sorry if it’s crap. It took a lot out of me to write it.)