#and vehemently denying his feelings of gay

[lilac-gold]

sorry guys kel x the maverick is the best ship in omori and i will die on this hill

[dozyisdead]

I’ve never really thought about how lonely it must be to be a “First” until I got into F1. I’d like to explore that a little bit with you guys if you don’t mind.

1. Sir Lewis Hamilton

We all know what makes him a First, but there’s layers to it. Lewis is the First Black driver, First Black point scorer, First Black race winner, First Black championship winner. He is a lot of Firsts, and he’s set and broken so many records, he’s become so decorated. He’s a master of his craft, but that is where it gets lonely. I don’t know if many realize it, but racism is rampant in the world, despite how many will deny it, and it’s very rampant in Europe. Yes, I can’t speak much as an American, but at the same time we do not deny it and try to hide it so vehemently as some of Europe does. And in that world Lewis has talked about being called racial slurs from a young age, when he was still in karting. There’s a specific interview I keep thinking of, and it breaks my heart every time I think of it. Lewis has been set alone from the second he started, and he has never been to blame for it. But him being a First has become so Important, and I know he has people that make it known that he is not alone.

2. Zhou Guanyu

I don’t think people realize this, But Zhou is the first and only Chinese F1 driver to ever race. He has become a pillar of movement in that act, in a way like Lewis. I know there are obvious differences in their positions, but it’s still a monumental feat. We have know that F1 is dominated by Europeans, and yes there have been asian drivers before him, but to be the First for your country? It’s a position filled with pressure and can often be isolating, especially when you take language and culture into consideration. Not only is he one of two Asian drivers on the grid, he’s the only one who speaks his language. And I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who’s learning other languages when I say English is hell to learn. It’s my first language and I do not understand it at all, I can’t imagine how hard it is for someone who’s uses completely different characters like Yuki or Zhou. But Zhou, he is loved, and I wish people would acknowledge the steps he has made as a First, as someone who opened a door for others.

3. Logan Sargeant

The first American on the gird to score points in over 30 years. Yes, there had been other American drivers since Andretti’s 1993 season, Scott Speed and Alexander Rossi, but they did not score points. There’s actually something that I would like to point out regarding one of his predecessors, Mr. Speed, as they both completed a season and a half. But, that’s beside the point. Logan, be the first in a long time, in this century, is a lonely thing. There’s other drivers who I think can attest to that, but I feel like it’s a very unique thing, especially when you come from a place where something like F1 isn’t as big as say NASCAR, or even Indy. It’s a little film of separation that you can feel, no matter if it’s as thin as a spider web.

4. Ralf Schumacher

The First openly homosexual former driver who raced in F1, it’s a beautiful feeling to know he’s become comfortable enough to share it. I can imagine the hell it caused him mentally and emotionally to be in such a position that made it to where every moment could be taken out of context. And I would like to point out the impact he made, by not revealing it until later. The fact that we knew him first as a good driver and not as “the gay man in F1” is so important and people might not understand that. He is a First of ground-shaking proportions, and I sometimes wish we could have known sooner, but I also understand him so well. I’m the first openly queer person in my family, and as the first openly queer person in a partially south asian family, it’s terrifying. I can’t imagine how it would have been for him, in what we call the peak of motorsports, in a sport that has so much distaste for even women participating, if someone who was queer was to try. He has put himself on a pedestal that shows others that it’s okay to exist in that world, not just drive. You, Ralf Schumacher, have done so much more than you can think.

There are MANY more, I know, but those three have stood out to me recently. Everyone has their own little pedestal that they stand on, that shows how unique they are, but there is nothing quite like a First. I have so much love for all of these men, and so much joy and sorrow for them.

Being a First is lonely, I know it well and I have learned it well, but when you are in a sport that gives you no privacy like F1, it becomes even lonelier. They are human, and as other Firsts in our own lives and worlds, we must not forget that.

[sushiwriterhere]

a little bit of fun

this is my attempt at a drabble (1.8ish-k words), this is for/dedicated to/inspired by @laracrofted and @theharddeck because sometimes a threesome can be and is something so personal and healing <3 i hope you enjoy!! i have nothing else to say for myself lmao - minors DNI! warnings: threesome (mmf, and the boys do kiss hehe), dp (PiV, unprotected) + ass play (oops lol), spanking, dacryphilia a bit, pining if you squint tagging?? @sebsxphia @sometimesanalice @waklman @joaquinwhorres @gretagerwigsmuse @lewmagoo @genius2050 @seresinsweetie

You're midway through taking your first sip of the perfect ice cold beer when a deep voice behind you intones, "We saw you from across the bar, we liked your vibe."

Turning around slowly, you turn a very unimpressed gaze upon Jake and Javy, both of whom are sporting shit eating grins. They're clearly amused with themselves.

"What is this gay lovers bit you guys are doing?" You raise an eyebrow at the pair, nodding your head at where Javy has an arm draped across Jake's shoulders. "And why do you think it's going to work?"

If you're honest, the two of them are a sight to behold. They both somehow glow under the artificial lighting of the Hard Deck, and their uniforms are too form-fitting to not be tailored, despite you knowing they're not. Truly, it's unfair how attractive the both of them are.

"It's worked before, sweetheart," Jake's smile is sharklike, but there's little real bite behind it. It's Javy you've got to keep an eye on.

"Thought we might try again." Javy lets his eyes scan your body lazily, not even bothering to hide the way his gaze fixates on the way your thighs press against the barstool and the way your tits strain against the sundress you'd thrown on.

"Well, you're shit outta luck. Not looking to get disappointed one more time today." You make to turn the barstool around, but then Jake's crowding you against the bar.

He's so fucking warm and solid against you, you almost don't know what to do. But you push weakly against his chest and try to make a help expression at Javy over his shoulder. He just shakes his head.

"Disappointed? Baby, if I remember correctly you were��"

You don't let him finish because you slap a hand over his mouth and exclaim, "Okay! None of that please. I'll get Penny to ring the bell if you finish that sentence."

Behind Jake, Javy just smiles warmly at you and his expression melts into something that sends a lightning bolt of arousal through you, "Just one drink?"

"Fine. One."

-

"Thought you said, uh, you didn't want to do this again," Jake's voice is strained with the way he's holding himself back from thrusting up into you. "Fuck, you're tight."

All you can do is moan in response as you drop your forehead to rest on his shoulder. Every single one of your nerves feels like it's on fire and you think you might be running a fever. Stradling Jake's hips and sandwiched between the two men, with Jake's cock already buried inside of you and Javy steadily sliding into you, your mind is swimming with arousal.

"Nah, our girl loves a little hate fuck." Javy emphasizes his last word with a little thrust, one that jostles both you and Jake up the bed just slightly.

Despite the copious amounts of prep and what feels like a good third of the bottle of lube Jake keeps in his bedside table (which he vehemently denies he bought just for when this keeps happening), you still feel the slight stretch as Javy inches inside you alongside Jake. You're panting and whining; you can't even bring yourself to care about the fact that you're supposed to not want this. The two of them are relentless, Javy behind you, Jake under you.

"Shit, shit, fuck!" You gasp out as Javy finally bottoms out. "Both of you aren't supposed to have huge dicks," You pause to let out a whine as Jake rocks his hips up just slightly, "That's against the laws of nature or something."

"The fact that you're talking so much means we're doing something wrong," Javy laughs lightly and smacks your ass in a way that makes you jolt.

"Shit, Javy, you gotta warn me before you do that." Jake attempts levity but you can hear the way he's fighting the urge to throw caution and coordination to the wind, press his feet into the mattress, and fuck you with abandon.

Javy doesn't respond, instead he makes his point by using one of his huge hands to grab your hip and the other to grab you by the ribs and dragging you back against his hips and down onto both his and Jake's cocks. A surprised groan leaves Jake and you squeal.

You bite Jake's neck to try and muffle the moans that are bursting from your chest at the way Javy's hands feel on you, the way Jake keeps petting your sides but also pinching your nipples. He usually complains the morning after, but never in the moment.

It would surprise most people, you think, the way the two operate in bed. Javy's usually confident in that quiet way that lets you know he's competent, whereas Jake is all ego. Every time you've found yourself in this exact position though, or some form of it, it's Javy who's in charge.

You're digging your nails into Jake's shoulders and trying to breathe through the onslaught of sensations as Javy sets a brutal pace, your forehead buried in Jake's neck. He throws his head back and pushes his hips up just as Javy pulls out and the way the two slide past each other instead of with each other might haunt you for the rest of your life.

When Javy puts a hand on the back of your neck for leverage, you know you can't hold on to your ploy any longer. You lose yourself in the way your bodies move in tandem, the way Jake moans and pants are right by your ear. Javy spanks you again and you feel the tears on your cheeks before you register that you're crying at all.

Then Javy's lips are up against your ear, "Fuck, look at you, taking our cocks so well. You're so fucking perfect, made for this, made to be stretched out and fucked."

Jake groans when Javy's lips brush his over your shoulder and then he's babbling too, "Shit, Javy, I can feel her squeezing us. Baby, I can't believe you pretend you don't love this."

You think you might be trying to defend yourself, might be trying to tell them that it makes it fun when everyone involved knows that this is how you'll end up anyway, but you can't form words. All your attention is on the way the curls at the base of Jake's cock are rubbing on your clit, the way one of Javy's hands has sneaked around to the nipple he's learned is more sensitive than the other. You think you might be drooling as you moan mindlessly.

Then, the moment of light tenderness is over when Javy leans back slightly and chuckles darkly before saying, "Jake, watch this."

His free hand grabs your ass and spreads you open. Then he spits. You moan at the sensation of the coolness against you, til he gently prods at you with his thumb and you choke off the sound. You jerk away from the sensation involuntarily, a little too fucked out to control your body, a little too turned on to do anything but gasp out a desperate please.

"Fuck, Javy, do it again, she loves it." Jake lifts your face away from his neck so he can look into your eyes, so he can see the way they flutter at the sensation of being so goddamn full.

You can only imagine what you look like–sweat plastering your hair to your forehead and neck, eyes slightly red from crying, lips bitten to hell. He keeps eye contact as Javy repeats his actions and your eyes roll back. Your eyes are closed when his hand slides from your face to your neck and just holds you there.

The moan you let out when Javy moves his hand from the back of your neck to trail feather-light down your back is animalistic, it tears itself out of your chest as you feel yourself cry again. Jake tries to keep an even pace with the rhythm of Javy's hips, but you can feel the way they're starting to lose pace, clearly both close.

Then Javy starts talking. It's always the same when you're all so fucked out, the barriers come down.

"Such a good fucking girl, you should see the way you're stretched around us, good god, never going to let you go. Should keep you here so we can do this every day, fuck you full of us, sweet, sweet girl." His voice has lost its hard edge, but he keeps the tip of his finger in your ass, his other hand on your lower back.

"Fuck, you're so good to us. You look so good like this, bent over for me, I bet Jake loves the way your tits feel. You're so fucking incredible."

Jake somehow finds it in himself to speak up too, "Come for us, c'mon baby, let go, wanna feel you come around us so fucking bad. Let go, come for us."

They've never failed to talk you through it. It makes your heart clench in your chest in a way that it shouldn't when you're split open on their cocks, when your eyes are too glazed over to really see the expression on Jake's face where he's now holding your face firmly in one of his hands.

They hold you when you finally fall apart, barely faltering. Jake keeps chanting something about your tight fucking cunt and Javy pets your back and calls you our best girl.

Jake finishes next with a grunt that breaks off into a moan as he shoves his hips up hard into you, and you shudder from oversensitivity. When Javy comes it's sloppy, like it always is, his cum adding to the warmth of Jake already inside you. Everyone's oversensitive but Javy keeps the three of you rocking together til you come to and whine and smack Jake in the chest, til you brace yourself on him so you can reach back and try to hit Javy too.

"There you are..." He murmurs as he pulls out and you almost collapse from the way you know his eyes are hyper focused on the mixture of his and Jake's cum leaking out of you.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," You grind out as you roll off Jake and throw an arm over your eyes, remembering that you're supposed to hate them, but also bone tired.

Jake's arms are still around you and your legs are draped on Javy's thighs, his hands now petting your calves and thighs. It's strangely domestic and soothing despite the way you ache and you know you'll need them to hold you for the next hour. They always do it more than enthusiastically, working as well together to take care of you afterwards as they do a team in the air.

In that moment though, Javy's smile is devilish when you peek at him and you know Jake is wearing a matching expression, "Why? You offering?"

"Oh, fuck you."

"Already did, baby, already did."

read the companion fic - “it’s not rotten work (not if it’s you)”

[berlingotesque]

What are your ships for Batim? :D

VERY GOOD QUESTION- I know my answer should be rather straightforward but I feel I have to put some context to my answers since they may seem contradictory/paradoxical otherwise, so bear with me-

Sammy x Norman : Well. I think that one was pretty obvious, anyone who's seen more than 3 of my posts knows that I'd die for these two. They're just so PERFECT for each other, from their complementary personalities to the fact that their relationship allows us to delve deeper into batim's historical and social context. Sammy and Norman have one of the few relationships that develop the most during the game's lore : Norman originally complains vehemently about Sammy's frenetic behavior, only to end up lamenting to Buddy and Dot how 'Sammy isn't the same anymore'. What's interesting about this statement is that he says it in relation to Sammy's strange behavior : clearly, the two men have grown close enough for Norman to differentiate Sammy's extravagant habits from his ink-influenced behavior.

Furthermore, Sammy is a very gray character morally, a perfectionist who is extremely socially maladjusted (surely due to the fact that he's coded on the spectrum and autism wasn't properly diagnosed at the time), naturally ostracizing him. For his part, Norman comes from a rural background (which surely earns him the animosity of the people at the studio, given the historical context and the fact that he could very well be poc) and also seems ill at ease socially : to me, it's fascinating to see two characters excluded from their peers because of differences they can't change (being autistic or poc and gay) getting closer to each other, to the point where Sammy, who is deeply misanthropic, naturally compliments Norman by describing him as very bright. To me, Norman is the perfect partner for Sammy : ready to apprehend him as he is, since he's completely free of social conventions, without taking any shits from him.

I think Sammy and Norman can really get the best out of each other, during a historical period when being different was strongly proscribed. I think I'd have trouble enjoying Batim as much without their dynamic at its heart (considering how narratively rich it is) : Norman is Henry's confidant, Sammy is Joey's, both remain morally gray deuteragonists fundamentally opposed to the ink machine, while remaining fascinated by its powers. And who wouldn't love a good old enemies to lovers ending tragically with the unwitting murder of one by the other ? After all, Norman's main flaw is that he's too curious for his own good, and it was Sammy who inevitably led him to his doom..

Allison x Tom : what more can I add. She's everything. He's just Tom. I've always been drawn to characters/ships with a vibe completely opposite to the vibe of the work they originally came from, and the 'turning poison into positivity' energy that Tom and Allison bring to Batim has always fascinated me. In a world as tragic as their own, I find it touching to see these two find beauty in all the ugliness and manage to ask themselves 'what if we were happy after all ?' It's really striking and brings a narrative richness to the work, since they directly mirror what failed with Sammy and Susie : Allison is perfect, but that was never what was at stake in Tom's eyes. Tom was looking for humanity, not perfection, and he managed to go beyond the image of the muse to discover a friend, unlike Sammy with Susie. They're literally Romeo and Juliet but, well... Not dead.

Joey x Henry/Henry x Linda : oh boy. These three... Let me get it straight right away : Henry and Linda are perfect for each other. She's exactly what he needs to be happy : she's present, patient. There's no denying that he loves her immensely. But Joey... oh Joey is undoubtedly Henry's soul mate. The subtlety is that Joey can't bring him the stable happiness Linda can : Joey tugs at him, pushes him over the edge. He knows exactly what to do to push him beyond his own limits. The love Joey offers Henry is an uncomfortable but unconditional one, one that would allow Henry to go beyond what he thinks he's capable of achieving because no one knows Henry better than Joey ! And let's be honest, Batim only exists because Joey refuses to move on, to live his dream without Henry in it. He's stuck in unrequited love and refuses to learn to live with it. And that's the tragedy of this trio : Henry sincerely loves Linda but is truly himself with Joey, which prevents him from hating OR loving him (And Joey exploits this information by remaining extremely toxic and convincing himself that he can wear him down lmao). Henry is stuck with this dilemma : Existing peacefully with Linda or living painfully with Joey. And that's why I love the dynamic of this love triangle : because there are no solutions that will satisfy everyone.

Joey x Sammy : okay, don’t get me wrong : these two are HORRIBLE for each other. Does Sammy periodically want to quit just to piss Joey off? Yes. Isn't Joey's fascination with Sammy intimately tied to his refusal to forget Henry, who was a genius like Sammy? Yes. Nevertheless, it's impossible for me to read The Illusion of Living without feeling embarrassed and like I'm reading Joey's diary : whether you ship them or not, Joey is practically canonically smitten with Sammy. I sincerely don't think Joey and Sammy can sustain a healthy relationship with each other, but oh boy, surely that won't stop me from exploiting their bizarre obsessive love-hate relationship, where it's hard to determine whether they're going to throw hands or make out.

[pleucas]

good evening. it is me again, skk hater - no air quotes because i am completely genuine in my hatred. this will be a long one.

i shall first begin with a thanks. i do write pretty often, and my ego has been sufficiently stroked. i suppose even the most despicable people have taste - at least in matters besides ships.

you have asked for my reasoning behind my vehement hatred of skk, and i think it's time for me to provide.

i'm going to be completely truthful - it's all Akutagawa's fault. i love him and his stupid victorian child fashion and british accent and dumb haircut deeply. so, naturally dazai is the bane of my existence.

now, even though i hated dazai more each time Akutagawa appeared, i actually didn't mind SKK for some time. i didn't get it cause Chuuya rarely actually shows up in the manga, which i read straight through without detouring for any of the light novels, but i was fine with it. they're fruity in most all their interactions, i shall never deny that because it's clearer than glass and i'm not that delusional, but i didn't see much substance beyond that.

then i read the novels and slowly came to the conclusion that i actually hate dazai even when Akutagawa isn't in the picture. and when i say HATE i mean HATE. he is the pebble lodged in my shoe, the lego on my cousin's floor, the table leg i stub my toe on, and so forth.

Chuuya, on the other hand, i love. he's great. amazing. stormbringer? peak. so, OBVIOUSLY, he could do much better than dazai. soooo much better. i mean, look at him

every time dazai and Chuuya have their objectively gay moments with each other, i feel like im watching my friend crawl back to their toxic ex.

that's how i feel with most dazai ships, and this is because dazai is always a smug prick towards the person he's being shipped with, and because i love Akutagawa i am not amused by this in the slightest. feels like he's rubbing salt in the wound. i actually like dazai more as a character when he's on the back foot. a (nonromantic) example would be him in The Day I Picked Up Dazai (A Side). dazai and Oda's dynamic is probably the best one dazai has in my eyes - though i don't ship them in the slightest. additionally, i think i, if only for a moment, actually liked dazai when he got ""killed"" in that one chapter. because it was a loss for him. in that moment, he (well, at least we're led to believe) got what he had wished for so often during the series, though it was not on his own terms. therefore, it felt almost like poetic tragedy - i thought it would have been a fitting end for him, and if it truly had been, i might like him now. this, as you know, was not the case.

furthermore, dazai is a fruitcake with or without Chuuya. it's not specific towards him, so i don't think anything real can be drawn from the vaguely homoerotic behaviour. i mean, dazai ballroomed danced with Sigma five minutes after meeting him. man just likes men, i don't know what to say

in conclusion, i feel like their relationship is unbalanced. dazai is never really shown to be all too worked up by Chuuya, even when he seems to be on the losing end of their bickering, but Chuuya is constantly harassed. while it's admittably funny, i don't like it in a romantic sense, nor do i see it in anyway that's different from Kunikida or Sigma.

that's about everything i can say without going on an unorganized tangent. i could bring up more specific issues i have that stem from Stormbringer and the Fifteen novel, but i have actual things ive been putting off writing - there's a whole book being sidelined by SKK right now. this has been a good way of procrastinating, but it must come to an end eventually

as for titles, you can call me Rimu. like the tree,

so, with an abundance of hate, Rimu <3

(ps: you might noticed that dazai's name is not capitalized at all in this ask. this is because he does not deserve that level of respect.)

holy hell Rimu. Hello, formally I guess — I will follow in your footsteps and leave dazai's name uncapitalized, because that was very funny

i've been putting off responding to this for a while but please believe that i have been thinking about it and periodically re-reading it. it's one of the most entertaining asks i've received LOL

to actually respond without completely proving your point of skkers procuring essays (though i'm sure you realize the irony upon review of your own accolade), i'll keep it brief. you had me in the first half, ngl, cuz i'm pretty sure 89% of us [skkers] agree, on a generalized scale, that dazai is the worst and Chuuya deserves everything and more (and better). he's the type of character that i enjoy as pure fiction, bc i know that if i knew him in person i'd hate him. same goes for my opinions on irl dazai — so asagiri did a (rare) justice for his authors there ig

abt everything else tho (imbalance, not being as affected by chuuya, similarity to other ships, and lack of intrigue)... i had a lot of responses prepared but really all of it can be summed up here as this:

like ngl man. LOL. i do blame the anime and its horrendous adaptation of dazai's character and skk's interactions, but that's another can of worms... that i have... opinons... about.

thank you for sharing your thoughts Rimu, i enjoyed reading through it a lot. keep it going!

with a mutual abundance of hate, Cas <3 <3 <3

[xamaxenta]

prince ace forced to attend a ball since he has to choose a woman to marry but he is gay so he is uninterested in all the woman flirting with him. sabo dressing as a woman to sneak in and steal but ace catches his eye and notices he doesnt care for woman so he is like well then let me give this hot dude a shot and starts flirting.ace is like "im not interested" but sabo moves ace hand to feel how hard sabo is and purrs "Oh i think you would be interested in what im offering." and yes ace is 100% interested in what sabo is offering lol so they do to a bedroom and have sex where at one point sabo calls ace his princess and ace gets embarrassingly aroused by that and sabo is like "oh so you like being my little princess" and ace is vehemently trying to deny it. anyway sabo fucks ace until he passes out and when ace wakes up he finds himself clean and tucked in and pleasantly sore and sabo is gone along with everything of value. he also leaves a note saying "Thanks for the free stuff my little princess!" and ace is just standing there like blushing bright red over the nickname and he doesnt even care about being robbed. he also curses himself for never asking the guys name

HAHDGAHEHD okay Imagine Ace being Gay but only for Men who are in Drag

Like even if Sabo approached dressed to nines in masc clothing it would be immensely funny if he had SUCH A NICHE interest that unwittingly Sabo actually met all of his standards in one fell swoop

And being addressed as Sabos Princess!!! One of my fave tropes…

Hehehe he’s the dashing prince who gets folded beneath a man in a pretty dress

Based takes anon 💕

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

An AU where Garp isn't as understanding and they still couldn't find Buggy's body

-Garp is pretty determined to get his grandson back in the show and while I love it, him suddenly coming to terms with Luffy being a pirate mid fight is probably the weakest aspect of the show. So I have an idea for how it could've gone.

-Garp is determined to "save" his grandson from being a pirate and easily beats him in a fight and brings him back to the marine base with him.

-After everything they've been through together, the Strawhats find themselves on a mission to save their captain. With a small hitch.

"Hey morons! You forget I'm still here?"

-Buggy's body wasn't with Arlong. Well, the hands and feet were. Everything else was scattered across the seas with the surviving members of Arlong's crew who managed to escape and he is *not* happy about this.

-Given the fact he's tiny and can actually move on his own, he'd be very helpful on this kind of mission and they promise to help get him the rest of the body back if he helps them save Luffy.

-Zoro feels guilty for not being able to protect his captain and blames himself for allowing himself to get injured. The usually stoic swordsman accidentally reveals this to the literally talking head that is Buggy, who has a few things to add.

"Gay."

"What?"

"You're so obviously gay for rubber band boy and yet still so oblivious about it to a degree it almost hurts."

-Even if the clown was right, Zoro vehemently denies he isn't, that's besides the point as the strawhats + Buggy focus on getting Luffy back and then maybe dealing with their feelings later.

[moraymiso]

one bsd opinion you will absolutely defend with your LIFE?

mmm i have SO many but i feel like talking abt this one atm. it kinda turned into more of a pet peeve rant as i went along, dw, i will share plenty of die-hard takes for whoever u are anon…

strap in, this is a longer one 😭

i’ve seen this especially on reddit— skk antis getting their panties in a twist every time dazai is jokingly called gay, or when anything about the skk ship is mentioned. it happens EVERYWHERE for sure, but it’s… crazy over on reddit.

and you’re totally allowed to be annoyed when that’s all people boil him down to, you’re totally allowed to dislike mischaracterization, you’re totally allowed to hate a ship! but GODDD it specifically grinds my gears when people aren’t even giving worthwhile critiques and instead just try to insist “dazai is straight!”. there’s actually a very highly upvoted post on reddit compiling “evidence” of dazai being straight. it’s definitely not a well-meaning post, it’s absurd, and i wish i was kidding ;; i’ve seen SO many people go “he likes women, cuz this this and this! he’s straight!”

like…. y’all. addressing the elephant in the room: BISEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST?? i’m not even bi and it pisses me off that people seem to just ignore that there’s more on the table than just gay and straight. OBVIOUSLY dazai likes women. nobody is denying this?? why are you losing your marbles over there buddy?

BUT ON TOP OF THAT, it is heavily implied in his own works that the irl osamu dazai was bisexual, primarily describing his experience having a crush on a boy his age when he was teenager. obviously these characters in BSD are not 1 to 1 copies, but it feels massively disrespectful to the real author (who lived at a time where being open about his orientation was downright DANGEROUS) to immediately and vehemently insist that dazai is straight because he likes women.

personally, i believe dazai is meant to be coded or insinuated as bisexual in the series due to a number of reasons i’ll probably get into on a later date (not rlly related to ships btw!)— not everyone agrees, and that’s fine! you’re totally allowed to think he’s straight, dislike his ships, dislike when people oversimplify him etc, but it just drives me crazy when people get MEAN about it and go to insane lengths to try and have some weird gotcha moment every time someone mentions a ship or makes a joke.

tldr: chill out with ships and headcanons guys, please, it is never that deep. when we call dazai gay, or call bsd a gay series, we are not being serious. and i love bi dazai!!

remember: neither of these things are confirmed. you’re headcanoning that he’s straight as much as we’re headcanoning that he’s bisexual.

[lyledebeast]

There's no day like Bisexual Visibility Day to write about my favorite closeted bisexual and the numerous ways he hides behind his children. Of course, I'm talking about Benjamin Martin from The Patriot, but there is possibly a bit of this going on with his oldest son as well.

There are two kinds of eroticism in this film: a heterosexual one oriented wholly towards creating a family and bloodlust, which intriguingly only happens between men. Benjamin and Gabriel would, if asked, vehemently deny that there is any "lust" of any kind involved in their attacks on British soldiers, that all they have in mind is saving or avenging their family members. This interpretation, on Benjamin's part, overlooks that Gabriel is already safe when he is splattering himself with another man's bodily fluids while screaming primally in the woods. On Gabriel's part, it ignores that the visual parallel director Roland Emmerich creates is clearly between Tavington and the nameless British soldier Benjamin rapes kills, not between Tavington and Anne. The dragoons are gathered around campfires when the militiamen surprise them; setting Tavington on fire instead of butchering him with a hunting knife is clearly an option, just not the one Gabriel chooses.

The Patriot does not give us much in terms of historical accuracy to be sure, but by god does it provide extremely anemic heterosexual intimacy and extremely virile violence. The idea of Anne and Gabriel kissing is so racy it can only happen offscreen. The prelude to Charlotte and Benjamin's only onscreen kiss is her sighing "Very well" and looking at him expectantly. How this is going to escalate into child-making is hard to imagine. But the way Tavington and Benjamin leer at each other before charging on foot on the battlefield? The way Gabriel slowly withdraws his knife from Bordon's body and stalks towards Tavington with it as ti drips the other man's blood?🔥🔥🔥

There are two factors that contribute to this odd juxtaposition of sexuality and violence. One is that, in typical American fashion, The Patriot presents the idea of husbands and wives who have multiple children together fucking as taboo while absolutely glorying in graphic war violence. At the same time, Tavington is not just hot because he's immodestly dressed in two short scenes. He's hot because he's a vibrant, memorable character. The audience is going to feel some kind of way about him, even if that feeling amounts to wanting him to die a painful death. His bare skin is not only jarringly unexpected but jarringly sexual in contrast to the tepid romance scenes. The same goes for his adversaries in the film. Benjamin has more screentime with Charlotte than with Tavington, but she clearly exists for him mostly as a place to stash his children, those already born and those he'll have in the future. A prop is not sexy, not matter how much bare arm and cleavage is on display. Much stronger feelings, and more compulsion to act, are evident on both sides in Martin and Tavington's scenes, even if that desire is laced with a fair amount of hatred. Charlotte gives Martin children, but Tavington gives him satisfaction.

To recap, violence between men is sexy; sex between men and women is insipid. Tell me the director is gay without telling me the director is gay.

[blu3berrydraws]

Zukka AU where they're stuck somewhere together (during like late book 2) in like a fire nation prison together and they're both just denying their feelings for each other the entire time. Sokka having thoughts like "I wan't to kiss him" every few minutes and then writing it off as 'oddly pleasant reoccurring intrusive thoughts" to the point where he doesn't even really believe it at this point, because he knows if it was intrusive thoughts he wouldn't feel such deep desire to act on the thoughts. Zuko falling for Sokka but thinking Sokka hates him, thinking Sokka's judging him whenever Zuko catches him staring. What do you think?

--- Ohoohoh i like that idea ! Kind of a prolonged 'stuck underground in ba sing se' situation Zuko and Katara had going on, where they get to actually get to know one another beyond 'we are on opposite sides of this war'.

Bonus points if Sokka is still in his 'vehemently insists he only likes girls' stage. And PERSONALLy I would think that the actual romance blossoms after the gaang breaks Sokka out of prison and ( as a fun parallel to Sokka 1000% being okay with leaving Zuko for dead at the north pole ) Sokka insists they have to bring Zuko. In prison it is just... gay panic after gay panic with both of them being extremely clueless and oblivious. With the 'oh my god our hands touched!' kind of innocence hah. Cue the canon kind of progression post-prison of the gaang learning to trust Zuko. And Sokka continues to have bisexual panic. Totally writes it off as 'prison does weird things to a man' type of thing.

Zuko of course is pretty much fully aware he likes boys the entire time, and Sokka is... Not as big of an idiot as he always assumed, and actually.. Really handsome up close, and.. wow those are some inappropriate thoughts to have about one of the pivotal members of the opposition.... Cue much much much much pining.

[alarrytale]

Shawn felt uncomfortable that people were speculating about his sexuality, because he was bullied his whole childhood for being feminine. He has multiple time supported LBQTH community, but has said that isn’t part of it. All of his actually partners got huge amount of hate. How would you feel like if people were hating on your partner (someone you love) and claimed you don’t love them or aren’t attracted to them. Do you realize how offensive that is?

Hi, anon!

Being young and being bullied for being feminine and having the word "gay" being thrown at you as a derogatory remark is awful. Especially if you're queer or questioning. It can make you insecure and can lead to internalised homophobia.

If he is straight it wouldn't impact him anymore when he turned successful and had girls throwing themselves at him. He'd gain confidence with female attention and sexual experience. He'd grow to learn that there is nothing wrong with being gay, he's just not, and know that protesting it too much would make him seem homophobic. He'd also learn that his sexuality being questioned could lead to interest from large target groups he'd otherwise as a straight man not have access to. Showing yourself to be lgbt+ supportive as a straight man is progressive and lauded by his target groups. There would be no reason to still prove you're straight and lashing out at the ones who speculate, and say you're hurt by the speculation.

Now, if he's not straight and the bullying has in any way impacted him, i'd expect to see him try to act straight and distance himself from things that will fuel the speculation. Someone who is suffering from internalised homophobia would lash out at the speculation like he did, but they wouldn't simultaniously drape themselves in rainbow flags and say things like men should wear crop tops because they look good in them. They'd certainly not get a "good boy" tattoo. A confident straight person would and a confident queer person would. Someone who is not straight and is queercoding like Shawn is, is confident in their sexuality. The only reason for him to vehemently deny it is if he's closeted. Someone closeted, and who is queercoding, lgbt+ supportive, and presenting feminine would need a beard to stay closeted and to curtail speculation about him being queer.

There is no smoke without fire. There is a reason why people speculate. It's not just down to him acting feminine and it's not something people do to hurt him. Because there is nothing wrong with being gay. I'd argue it makes you more interesting and sets you apart.

With Shawn everything is pointing at him being gay. Despite him saying he's uncomfortable with the speculation, his behaviour shows the opposite. I see someone who's known he's gay from a young age and who wants to be himself, but is under a label who wants to make him into a heartthrob who women throws themselves after. Much like Harry. His closeting has taken a toll on him mentally, because he wants to live his truth and be accepted for who he is, and he's stuggling with playing straight.

I want you to think about what you see when you look at Shawn. Can you honestly say that you don’t see it? There is nothing at all that makes you question him? Also think about the reasons why you're on my blog defending him from gay speculation. Do you want him to be himself and happy first and foremost or do you want him to keep fulfilling your own fantasy? Even if his attempt at doing so is making him deeply unhappy? I know it's hard to wake up and realise your idol is not who you thought he was. But before you double down in my inbox, take a look at all the information out there before you confidently say he's not queer.

[lurkerbehaviors]

delusion time

I think tubbos nonbinary. Or at least has thought about it and it vehemently ignoring it. 

Theres alot of reasons why i think so and all of those reasons run along the line of mostly speculation (as is the nature of this subtwt) and personal opinions and accounts so i could be major projecting rn so take it with a grain of salt. 

3 things that come to mind is 1. I can't stop thinking about the strawberry dress thing!!!! But it's not JUST about the dress. He was 16-19 at the time (i believe) so it makes sense why he didn't go through with wearing it. The large audience he had around that time well surpass the viewership he has currently. The pressure to perform “correctly” and the anxiety of having so many eyes on you make self-expression stifling. It comes to mind an incident where he had “They/Them” as his pronouns in his discord server and it was like the whole twt blew up! 

Everyone was talking about it without bringing it up directly to him. We all know he lurks so he def saw it. Back then also, people were so stuck in being “progressive” and “Politically correct” that they might have created an environment or at least in his eyes a response where if he WERE to come out it would be negative or attract much attention which he already has issues with. He came out saying it was an accident later. Which is believable! 

It makes you think he shied away from his desires to try "feminine" things or question his sexuality or gender because of harsh scrutiny from the internet. 

Another thing, we know he has body issues that most likely stem from his days as a trampolist which got worse with the whole “Chubbo” thing. That still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. He still comments about how much he eats and his diet and all those things. So we know its not a total stretch to say the internet influenced him. 

Second, this drunk tvbathon night in particular comes to mind when I think about this. https://youtu.be/0ezYI_WcP-k?si=9JE3iJh8KGtuhpd2&t=13427

“He asks ch4r how it feels to be enby and how they knew. Now this could just be a curious question, nothing serious, but I'm not sure it wasn't with how quickly Lexie pulled him from that brand of convo looking almost worried and acutely aware of the camera. When Ch4r said "You're just a cis het man" he rebutted quickly saying he wasn't but not clarifying that he was gay, rather deciding on leaving it ambiguous. That struck me as odd but again, tubs is kinda like that too and he was DRUNK so his forgetting wasn't totally off the table. 

Now I'm of the mind that tubbo is autistic. so it could also be that he doesn't particularly feel "like a man" or a "woman" because of it. Now before we get up in arms, studies are showing a higher chance of ppl with Autism having gender dysphoria! Tubbo denies being autistic or neuro like the plague but cmon, dosent take a genius to identify a rock. 

The last thing that strikes me as odd is the fact most of his ex-partners or crushes are in some way, trans. Like its one thing to have maybe 1-2 partners to be trans. Not a problem, merely a coincidence!

But most if not ALL  OF THEM??? Ranboo, piso, that ginger guy everyone was freaking out about, strangely feminine bartender at the aforementioned bar, Ash???? 

Yeah, he had crushes on other types of people but almost 9/10 times the person he actually pursues/dates is trans. Fork found in a kitchen situation if you ask me. I also wanna add you naturally gravitate toward people with similar experiences as you. 

So yeah I could be massively projecting and that's fine but I'm not so sure I am. Just a thought that's been on my mind.

[sunnytastic]

I’m very very new to the always sunny fandom and I stumbled across a post of yours about macdennis and your prefaced it with saying rob is a loser and people in the tags were agreeing/saying they’re a rob hater and hate to give him praise/credit. My question is, why does everyone hate rob? Is it because of the offensiveness of the show or something else? When I say new I mean like this week new so I really don’t know anything about the actors/creators. Thank you very much for any information you can give me, it’s greatly appreciated. ❤️

omg hi!!! welcome! sunnyblr is by far the best fandom i ever been a part of. i hope you have as much fun as i do.

something very unique about sunny is how integral the creators are to the lifeblood of the show. rob, charlie, and glenn (rcg) are not simply it's creators, they are the show themselves. sunny was born out of rcg's desire to give themselves the opportunities they wish they were being offered. before sunny, none of them had any major roles or been a part of a hit production. and so they a created a show, written by them, starring them with themselves being the target audience. and it has turned into the longest running live-action sitcom on television, with one of the most passionate and involved fanbases (i can not stand the sunny sub reddit but no one can deny their love for the show).

beyond rcg themselves, sunny is an important part of the lives of their closest family and friends. rob met kaitlin olson, the actress who plays dee, on the show and they are married now. charlie's wife, mary elizabeth ellis, plays the waitress, and jimmi simpson, his old roommate, plays liam mcpoyle. david hornsby, one of the funniest people alive and the actor who plays rickety cricket, was very close friends with rob, glenn, and charlie long before the show started and is also one of the head writers for the show.

also, and, this isn't quite relevant to the rest of this response, but if you do continue down the sunny rabbit hole, you will find that six names repeatedly pop up in terms of episode writers: rob mcelhenny, charlie day, glenn howerton, david hornsby, scott marder, and rob rosell. you will also notice that during seasons 13 & 14, arguably sunny's weakest seasons, glenn howerton, scott marder, and rob rosell were absent from the writer's room, which really speaks to how enmeshed sunny and it's writers are.

ok so here is the thing about rob... i've written about this before but rob is both overwhelmingly confident and deeply insecure, which are two sides of the same coin. funny enough, i think rob would be the first person to agree with me on this statement. he's said many times that he knows he walks around with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. most times, this attitude works in his favor. he is passionate, determined, and persistent, and every person in his life will speak to how great of a leader and friend he is.

but sometimes, I find it very easy to get frustrated with rob because he will say something and I will be hit with how much he has become the hollywood he was originally very critical about. with charlie and glenn, there is less of the feeling that hollywood "got" them. he is also the most defensive about sunny's use of blackface (& other racial caricatures), a decision I already vehemently dislike made worse by rob's attitude of "whoops, just a little mistake we made."

but then again, he has given one of the most nuanced and heartbreakingly real portrayals of a gay man in television, while also still being very funny in the process. in another of his shows, mythic quest, the only romantic pairing in the entire show is a lesbian couple, who get together very early on and avoid the stereotypical catty behavior seen in most tv lesbian couples.

so my feelings on rob are very mixed. on one hand, i am in awe of his creative talent & artistic direction and grateful for his fight for better queer representation. on the other, he can be so irritating i find myself wanting to bang my head against the table.

i hope this answer is helpful! if you have any more questions, any sunny blog and I would be happy to answer them. if you are looking to learn more about the show, i highly recommend listening to the always sunny podcast. rob, charlie, and glenn talk about the show episode by episode, often bringing in other cast members to join them. while they don't always stay on topic, you will definitely see how much this show means to them and how much of their personalities are reflected in the characters.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Stars Around My Scars

Chapter 7 - All That You Wanted From Me Was Sweet Nothing (Read on Ao3)

TW// Mentions of suicide and murder (Magnus’s backstory, basically).

“Alec?” Magnus knocked on the door once again. Again, there was no reply, but he still heard Alec’s sniffles from somewhere inside. It hurt more than he’d care to admit, to see Alec like this.

Magnus sighed and twisted the door knob. He hesitated - only for a second, and called out to Alec as he pushed the door open. “I’m coming in!”

Alec was sitting at the head of the bed, knees pulled to his chest and head bowed. He was still wrapped up in Magnus’s robe which was a pink and silk affair. Alec did look up when Magnus stepped in, but his head went down once more before Magnus could even make note of his emotional state.

Not that Magnus needed to see Alec’s face for that, he supposed. It was clear as day that Alec was upset.

“Alexander,” Magnus said gently as he moved to sit in front of Alec. “I’m sorry-“

“For what?!” Alec raised his head with a snap. His eyes were red, rimmed with fury. “You had no right, no right, to tell them what that-“

Alec turned away, choking on his words. Magnus hesitantly placed his hand on Alec’s knee.

“That you’re gay?” Magnus didn’t miss the way Alec flinched at those words and thought, Ah, another piece of your puzzle.

“I’m not-“ Alec began weakly, and then must’ve realized at this point it would be futile to deny it because he fell silent.

“It’s fine,” Magnus said gently. “I know sometimes it’s hard to accept yourself for who you are.”

Alec looked almost surprised at that, and even a little hesitant as he asked, “Even you?”

Magnus snorted. “I’m literally half-demon. What do you think?”

Alec’s lips twitched a little at that. “But it’s not just… it’s…”

Magnus immediately snapped to full attention, but then Alec must’ve decided that whatever he wanted to say was not worth saying, because he simply shook his head.

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

Magnus wanted to press a little, wanted to know more, but he’d already pushed a lot just by coming in here, so he let it drop.

“Well, one good thing that comes out of this is,” Magnus said, patting his knee. “You’re free to love whoever you want. And no one can do anything about it. Well, there are a few awful mundanes, but I’m sure you’re pretty capable of fighting them off.”

Alec snorted. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

He looked fine for just a moment, but then his face fell again. “Mom… Dad…”

“Alec?” Magnus shifted a little closer to Alec, startled by the way his eyes rapidly started filling up with tears again. “Alec- hey-“

“They hate me,” Alec whispered, his lips trembling. “They hate me don’t they?”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said again, feeling almost helpless.

Alec clasped one hand to his mouth just as a sob escaped. Tears ran down his face, leaving wet trail marks around his cheeks. He bowed his head, his shoulders shuddering as he sobbed.

Shit.

“Alexander-“ Magnus shifted so he could sit next to Alec, draping an arm around his shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “Alec, hey- it’s going to be alright.”

Alec shook his head vehemently.

“It’s going to be alright,” Magnus whispered again. At this point, it felt like the only thing he was capable of doing.

Magnus often prided himself on being a positive presence, on being able to lift anyone’s spirits even on the bleakest of days. But even he had to admit - he had no idea what he was doing with Alec.

Was this even enough? Was he even enough? All he could do was offer sweet nothings to Alec, and it wasn’t helping.

What else could he do?

What else, what else, what else…

“My mother hated me, too,” Magnus said softly.

Alec looked up at that, red rimmed eyes wide in surprise. Magnus carefully wiped away the tear tracks on his face, keeping his other arm still wrapped around Alec.

“You know how warlocks are made. The kind of things demons do,” Magnus went on, keeping his eyes locked with Alec’s. “She couldn’t take it. She hated even the sight of me. She hated me so much, in fact, that she hung herself in our barn when I was ten.”

Bitter somethings.

It was a long time ago. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. Somewhere in a corner of his soul, it did.

Maybe she didn’t hate you, someone had told him once. Maybe she just hated the memory of what happened to her.

I was the memory of what happened to her, Magnus had told them.

Someone else had told him it wasn’t hate, it was just bitterness. 

But when you’re a child, it feels like the same thing.

Alec’s eyes were filled with consternation as he listened to every word Magnus said.

“My stepfather…” Magnus chuckled bitterly. “He hated me enough to try to kill me. Drown me in the creek that ran through our farm. Somehow, I managed to burn him alive.”

Something flashed in Alec’s eyes, a touch of horror that disappeared as soon as it came. Magnus wondered why. He should’ve expected a warlock to have a kill count of atleast one, right?

“Why are you telling me this?” Alec asked.

Magnus hesitated.

“To tell you that… I know how you feel, I suppose,” Magnus said.

Alec was silent at that.

“And I’m sorry,” Magnus said, as genuinely as he could. “You’re right, I had no right to- to even hint at the fact that you might be gay to your parents. Even if it turned out you were as straight as a pole, it would’ve been wrong. I’m sorry.”

Alec sat still a moment, and then unfurled. Magnus expected for him to get up, leave the bed, leave the room, in fact - but then he turned, and to Magnus’s surprise, rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder.

Magnus’s bare shoulder. He had forgotten, until now, that he didn’t have a shirt on under his robe.

Oh well. Maryse and Robert must’ve seen worse things than a shirtless warlock. They could handle it.

“It doesn’t matter, I suppose,” Alec mumbled. “It’s not like I’ll ever see them again.”

“Alec-“

“Besides,” Alec’s eyes flicked up to meet his. “You wouldn’t have had to if it weren’t for your pathological need to keep me here and save my life.”

Magnus chuckled.

“Why didn’t you let me go, Magnus?” Alec whispered, and Magnus could tell he was fishing for something, something deeper.

“It’s like you said,” Magnus shrugged with his free shoulder. “I want to save you.”

“Is it because of your mother?” Alec asked, simply earnest and curious.

“I suppose so,” Magnus mused. “I don’t know. But I damn sure know I won’t let someone kill themself, not if I can help it.”

“What happens after you save me?” Alec asked.

“I don’t know,” Magnus told him. “What do you want to happen?”

“I don’t know,” Alec whispered back.

“Well, you’ll know soon enough, I suppose,” Magnus said. He was still holding Alec, his fingers gently caressing Alec’s shoulder through his robe. “You could go to college, get a mundane career. Get an apartment. Maybe start a business. I’ve heard coffee shops have been booming lately.”

Alec clicked his tongue. “I’m terrible at cooking. And I’m sure no one goes to a coffee shop just to have machine coffee.”

Magnus chuckled. “Oh, you’d be surprised. I’ll have to take you to Starbucks sometimes.”

Alec curled his nose. “Starbucks? Weird name for a coffee shop.”

“I’m sure it has some significance,” Magnus said.

Alec smiled half-heartedly. “I don’t know. I can’t… I can’t see myself doing any of that.”

“Life works that way, sometimes,” Magnus said. “You think there’s no hope, no future for you, and then a hundred years down the line you’re High Warlock of Brooklyn and you’re living your best life.”

“I don’t have a hundred years,” Alec said softly, and something in his voice broke Magnus’s heart.

Magnus had never been good at sympathizing with mortals. As far as he was concerned, he had eternity to do what he wanted.

What was it like, he wondered, to grow up knowing your days were numbered, no matter what?

He didn’t say anything, and when the silence settled over them like a layer of finely scattered dust, he said,

“We should go have breakfast.”

Alec shifted a little, just enough that he could rest his head on Magnus’s shoulder more comfortably. 

“Can we… can we just eat here?” He asked, his voice young and tired. “I don’t feel like moving, Magnus. Please?”

Magnus hesitated a moment.

Today was supposed to be the day he established a proper routine for Alec. Which meant getting out of this bed, taking a shower, and then sitting down at the dining table for a proper meal.

Letting Alec have a lazy breakfast in bed would be counterproductive to all of that.

But this was the first time Alec had asked for something that wasn’t a request to kill him.

And if he had to be honest with himself, Magnus wanted to give it to him.

***

Because of your choices last chapter -

Magnus and Alec were able to have a nice, long talk. Communication, babey!

[afy2018]

Revised* Second Night Stand

“She just seems a bit off,” Kara immediately stated to her colleague.

“Who?” Lena pushed the box of sweets closer with her boot.

“Alex.”

“What do you mean she’s been off?”

Kara dramatically sprawled across the nice couch and took a large bite out of a donut. “I can’t describe it, but I just know. I feel it in my bones.” She suddenly sat up straight, “You know, it started when I came out to her.”

“She’s not, like, a homophobe, right?”

“No,” she vehemently denied, “that’s the thing. It was when she found out it was Mags. That’s when it began.”

Lena sat on the coffee table as she nibbled on her sweet. “How’s her love life been?”

“What love life?”

She perked an eyebrow at the statement, “Mhm, well when was the last time she dated or even had sex?”

“Ugh, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that last little bit there.”

“Don’t you ever wonder, like, for her health?”

“Stop!” she protested covering her ears. “Do you think about your brother like that?”

“I don’t need to. That incel hasn’t been laid since college, that’s why he’s such a prick. So, boy or girl?”

“Last person she showed off to the family was when she was twenty-three? A boy, fuckboy by today’s standards. He had a diamond ring, bleached tips,” she laughed during her recollection, “and a gold necklace. I don’t think she even liked him. Wait, did you say girl?”

“What if she doesn’t like men? Maybe she’s worried that she’s gay? Maybe she still thinks she’s straight and thinks she’s, well, broken?” Lena suggested. “What if she envies you and Maggie?”

“I don’t know. I also wouldn’t want to put her in a weird position if she wasn’t queer.”

“Then wait until something happens, I don’t know. What made you think about that?”

“Nothing, really. Or everything. It doesn’t matter. What about your night?”

“Other than the usual press release about my brother’s whereabouts, not too bad. I even got an hour in my lab.”

“Careful, people might think you’re shady.”

“Oh, that, yeah. You saw it?”

“It was released by Catco, of course, I saw it.”

“I know I can’t ask, but I really want to know who the dog whistler is. I swear I’m not doing anything weird down there. I haven’t bought any Kryptonite, I still have my hair,” she poorly joked.

Kara rolled her eyes, “I’m not worried about that. In my opinion, even though you didn’t ask, I would stay out of the lab for a while, maybe work on your stuff up here and go there after hours.”

“And that’s not shady?”

“Once you’re off the clock, it’s your personal time and- oh, no, I see now.”

“No way to win in this situation. I’ll just stay out of my not-so-secret lair.”

Kara chuckled at the dramatic line and cheered her donut with her friend’s. “I will not break code, but it wasn’t someone who works here.”

“What?”

“That’s all I know. It wasn’t a very reputable source, but they were vetted by the journalist.’

“Why did you tell me? Now I want to dig into it.”

Kara’s pager went off, so she shoved another donut in her mouth on her way out. “Sorry, I have to go.”

“Maggie?”

“Yup,” she confirmed through a mouthful.

“I hope you get luckier than me,” Lena called after her.

Once out of the line of sight of the public, Kara blasted off to DEO, still munching her treat as she walked into the building. She spotted her sister on the bridge, speaking with her superior. Once she noticed Kara, she wiped her thumb across the corner of her mouth. Kara copied her as she approached the situation.

“What’s going on?”

“Just an update, Director Henshaw,” she segued to him.

As he gave the long-winded update, Alex watched her sister closely. She couldn’t help but worry about how much time she was spending with Lena. She’d seen what happened when lark became an investigative reporter. He had already been such a target as his alter-ego, he had to be selective with who he contacted for his stories. Clark would rarely meet people in public and never took on large stories for fear of being outed. It made her worry about what Lena knew, then again if Kara trusted her, maybe she should let her go. Maggie turned out to be better than she initially thought, however, the time spent between Luthor and her sister was inappropriate for someone so high-profile. After a moment to gather herself, Alex chose to confront her sister about Lena rather than let it fester.

Once Henshaw left, she pulled her sister to the side. “I saw you were at Luthor Corp again.”

“You know that’s not the name anymore, Alex.”

“You’re spending too much time with Lena.”

“Well Cat assigned me to her, so I have to spend a little time getting some juicy stories?”

“Does she know about you?”

“No, no,” she tried to assure her. “Only that you’re DEO and Sawyer of course. Although, if she’s smart like her brother… but if so, she hasn’t mentioned it. I trust her Alex, so don’t intervene, like you like to do.”

“I don’t intervene.”

Kara only shot her an astonished smirk, “Look, if you’re so worried, we can all meet up at a cafe this weekend. Wear something kick ass.”

“I know how to dress.”

“Okay, well I have someone waiting for me, so if I’m not needed, I’m off.”

“I’ll see you around.”

“Loosen up, Danvers,” she mockingly called to her sister on her way to the elevator.

Alex sucked her teeth as the doors closed, prying eyes searching to read her well-hidden emotions. She went back to her office to gather the last of her belongings before she could get saddled with any more paperwork. Once everything was filed and locked away, she went out to her bike and slipped through the commute traffic until she arrived at Al’s trusted E.T.-friendly bar. The quaint establishment housed highly-trusted and low-threat aliens. Alex sat at the bar, soon served by M’gann.

“What should I start you off with?”

“You can read, right?”

“Yes,” she curtly began, “I just hoped to hear your beautiful outside voice.”

“Outside voice?”

“Yes, your internal soundtrack is so monotone.”

Alex shrugged off the slight. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, lazy crowd as usual and the others,” she stated as she set down her Jack & Coke.

“What do I owe you?”

“Only one drink?”

“I’m not staying long.”

“$9, then.”

Alex placed down a sawbuck, “Keep the change.”

“You seem stressed, deeper than your conscious brain.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well on top of this being your fourth time here in the week, not that I’m complaining, you’re internal voice isn’t really finishing its sentences.”

“I just- I’m having some trouble. I feel like I’m being childish, though,” she explained in frustration.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I just want to drink here and start the next day. Thank you, though, M’gann.”

She politely smiled and went to attend to a new customer. Alex finished her drink and headed for the door, doubling back for her jacket before accidentally getting body checked by another patron.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot my jacket,” Alex quickly apologized.

“It’s okay, my fault,” she returned.

She regarded her a little, “Luth- Lena?”

“Yes, you don’t need to be weird about it. The others aren’t,” she casually stated.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you feel weird.”

“What’s your name?”

“Alex.”

Lena studied her carefully until she caught her badge glint off a blinking light. “Danvers, would you happen to know or be related to Kara Danvers from Catco?”

“Yes, she’s my sister.”

“She’s very nice, she’s actually one of my closest friends out here.”

“She’s mentioned you before.”

“By your tone, I can tell you’re a little suspicious. I understand.”

“It’s not you-”

“It’s Lex, yeah.”

“But, I’m sure you’re nice enough.”

Lena couldn’t help but have fun at Alex’s expense.

“You know, Kara wanted us to meet over coffee this weekend-”

“Do you want to meet over a drink now?”

Alex was held aback slightly by her forward question, “Sure, why not?”

“Okay,” Lena smiled. “Why don’t you find a spot for us while I get drinks? What’s your poison?”

“I’ll just take a domestic.”

She returned with their drinks to one of the standing tables in the center of the room. “You really want to be this seen with a Luthor,” she jested.

“I just don’t mind standing is all,” she blundered through.

Lena continued to assess the older Danvers sister before her making her next statement. “You know, Kara says great things about you. She talks about the amazing work you do, taking out gangs to protect the world.”

“She does more important things than me,” she honestly stated.

“So, how did you find out about this place?”

“Maggie told me about it. She’s human, but was kind of adopted by the community.”

“And so were you.”

“I could ask the same about you. You said you can be yourself, what did you mean by that?”

“Well, Lex is a xenophobe, but I see this place as a spot for outcasts. People don’t judge me here.”

“I understand. I’m also human, but being here lets me gain their trust.”

“I can see why Kara looks up to you.”

Alex scoffed at her statement, “I doubt that’s true.”

“No, really,” Lena assured her before finishing her drink. “I’m glad I had a chance to meet you before the coffee date.”

Alex blushed as she furrowed her brows at the phrase, but returned the statement, “Yeah, me, too. I should probably get going as well, workday tomorrow, as you know.”

“Goodbye, Alex,” she chuckled, watching on as she left the bar. With a giddy shake of her head, she whipped out her phone and shot Kara a quick text, “I was right.” She triumphantly grinned on her way out of the establishment, catching the older Danvers sibling mount her ride and disappear into the night.

~

Alex looked in the mirror in defeat. How did she let Kara talk her into drinking coffee with a Luthor? Years of being warned about the family and now she was playing nice with one. She pulled on her thin blue long-sleeved shirt and grabbed her keys. Alex found her wallet in the cushions and took a final glance sound her flat before heading to the bus stop. Her phone buzzed during the commute.

“L said you 2 talked, trust her now?” her sister texted.

“She’s very polite.”

“U there yet?”

“No, just got on bus, you?”

“W/ Mags @ front.”

“Kk, see you there.”

Once at her stop, Alex walked two blocks to the cafe and immediately spotted her sister outside of the storefront.

“Hey, how are you?” Kara greeted her with a hug.

“Great,” she followed her sister to the table where Maggie and Lena were already seated. “How are you, three?”

“Mags was offered a promotion as lead detective.”

“Oh, wow, congrats!” she enthusiastically said. “What about you, Kara?”

“The usual. I was assigned an ‘important’ story and finished it, but it’s not good enough, so I’m going to meet up with Lena to check out some toys she’s planning to release.”

“What are they?”

Lena explained, “Well, to combat my brother’s technology, I’ve been tinkering with an anti-kryptonite box. It’s like a black hole. I’m still trying to expand it because it only works at a fifteen-meter radius. I’m also working on a kinetic car battery that should extend the life by about 25%, I just have to find a way to make it out of more abundant resources.”

“You’ll have to show me the Supergirl plans.”

“Of course.”

“So, what are we gonna to get?” Alex addressed the table.

“I’m starving, so I’m getting a sandwich,” Maggie started off.

“I’ll just get coffee,” her partner declared.

“I’m feeling like hot cider,” Luthor decided. “What about you, Alex?”

“I might get the mocha, I love coffee-hot cocoa blends.”

Maggie offered, “I’ll get the order in, you guys can pay me back later.”

“No, let me get it,” Lena offered. “My treat.”

“No, you stay there.” She stood up to approach the counter.

“So Kara says you work with Supergirl?”

“You could say that,” she responded, shooting a glare at her sister.

“What’s it like?”

“Well, she’s just as nice as she seems, but cannot keep a secret despite how dangerous the truth would be for her.”

Kara only guffawed at her statement and excused herself. “I’m gonna help Mags with the drinks.”

While they were busy getting the orders, Lena leaned over the table, “I have to say, I’m very glad I met you.” She pulled away as their orders arrived and carefully gauged Alex’s reaction.

They silently sipped away as the couple beside them briefly discussed their living situation.

“Oh,” Maggie suddenly segued, “Kara told me you two already met?”

Alex awkwardly confirmed, “Yeah, we- uh- yeah, at Al’s after work Thursday night.”

“Danvers in Al’s Bar with the domestic beer.” Lena joked. “I’m glad we got to feel each other out without the fear of losing face.”

“What’d you guys talk about?” Sawyer inquired.

“Work and Al’s, mostly.” Alex clarified.

Lena excused herself near the restrooms when her phone started buzzing. Once she left, Maggie stated, “So, we and I were walking about possibly refurbishing the apartment.”

“Nice, what theme?”

“Eclectic style?” her sister suggested.

“Oh, so what you have now but a bit more adult.”

“Yeah,” she mockingly agreed. “So, thoughts on Lena?”

“She’s funny, I can see why you like hanging out with her.”

“Good because I’m inviting her to game nights now.”

“Am I really the last of your friends to meet her?”

“Yes, you are really good at avoiding people when you want to. Speaking of which, what do you have going on in your personal life?”

“Normally when you say that it relates to whatever you previously said.”

“It does, though. You’re so invested in work and that’s really all we talk about, so what’s going on in your personal life?”

“I don’t really have time for that, Kara, you know that. I mean, it’s why you’re with Mags, you see each other all the time.”

“And no one at work gives you any feelings?’

“No, all the guys who work there are either childish or I don’t trust them with all of this,” she grandly gestured. “Why are you so interested anyway? We never talk about my personal life.”

“Well, now we are.”

“You know I don’t really have much going on ever, so sorry to burst your bubble,” she finished with a defiant sip of her scalding drink.

Kara slumped in her chair a little and kissed the back of Maggie’s hand. “So, you’re fine with Lena joining game night?”

“Of course, she’s chill enough, I just worry when she meets Supergirl irl, you know?”

“I know. I’ve only been in contact with her once and it was very dark. Look, I trust her. She’s nothing like her brother,” she finished in a hushed tone.

Alex slid her cup around a little before placing her hands flat on the table, “I’ll be back.”

“Okay,” her sister nonchalantly scoffed.

She meandered to the restroom, hoping that maybe her sister would forget about the conversation quickly. On her way, she spotted Lena in the distance having an intense conversation on the phone. As she approached her, Lena ended the call.

“Hey, sorry. Did Kara send you?”

“No, I just had to escape her questions. What happened?”

Lena shoved her phone into her pocket. “Lex wants me to defend him on the stand.”

“What’d you say?”

“Fuck no. He’s tainted any shot I had at being a normal person. But I’ll be back soon, just need to decompress. What’d she ask you to make you leave, if I may ask?”

“Just super personal stuff.”

“Too personal to share with me just yet?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

Alex took a moment to organize her thoughts. “I feel like I can tell you, but I don’t think I should.”

“Is it the Luthor thing,” Lena inquired, her tone turning sour.

She denied the notion with a quick shake of her head. ‘I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, well, I’m going back to join your sister before they get concerned.” She passed Alex and went back to her spot.

Kara asked, “Hey, what happened?”

“Family affairs as usual.”

“Oh, sorry about that.”

“Pfft, not your fault, I blame Lex. So, what’d I miss?”

“We were just talking about redesigning our place.”

“I love the style you currently have, what are you going to do?”

Alex returned to her seat, “Less teenage dream, more adult.”

“Hey, you helped me decorate it,”

“Maybe we’ll host a game night and redecorate?” Maggie offered.

“Sounds like a good idea. What sort of games do you have?” Lena inquired.

“Cards, scrabble, we have this one we’ve been meaning to play called Rivals. It’s like Monopoly on steroids according to some reviews.”

“Sounds interesting, I’m game,” she jibed.

“Alex?” Kara directed to her sister.

“Sure.”

“I hate to cut this short, but since I got a fun call from the boy, I need to get in contact with some of my people. Thank you so much for lunch, just text me the time and place and I’ll be there,” Lena promised her friend.

“So, soon?”

“Yeah, if I don’t get on this soon, he’s going to try to implode the company.”

“Literally?” Alex guessed.

“No, worse. Socially,” she clarified.

“I’ll make a group chat for game night,” Kara promised, pulling out her phone and getting to work. Soon after, their phones buzzed with the first message.

Alex pulled her jacket on, “I should go, too.”

“What do you have?”

“I was going to the gym and possibly the rage depending on how much more time I have.”

“Oh, I’ll join you. The one in the precinct pails in comparison to you guys,” Maggie noted.

When Alex went to grab her phone, she felt an odd folded piece of paper grace her fingertips. Unraveling it revealed curly flowing script which read: “Just in case ~372-555-4610”. Unfamiliar calligraphy led Alex to believe it must have been Lena’s handwriting. She shoved it back into her pocket, declaring it to be an old note.

“Are you going right now?” the detective asked.

“Yeah, I have a spare set in my locker.”

“Can you wait up for me?”

“Sure, but you’d better be quick,” she teased.

Once they parted ways, Alex took the bus to her work and after flashing her badge went to the changing room. She sat in front of her locker and reached into her jacket pocket, mulling over whether or not to call Lena. Ultimately, she unfolded the paper again and called the number. At first, it went straight to voice mail, to Alex’s relief, but within a minute, her phone rang. She debated answering, but since she made the first call, it was only polite to return the favor.

“Hello,” she heard Lena greet.

“Hey, it’s Alex, this is Lena, right?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, her voice immediately relaxing.

“You gave me your number, just in case,” she referenced. “Can you elaborate?”

“I was talking about our conversation Saturday.”

“Yeah, yes. Sorry if I came off a little abrasive.”

“No, it’s okay, Alex,” Lena tried to reassure her. “While I have you, I want your input on something.”

“If it’s with your inventions, I doubt I can help.”

“No, humor me, please,” she chuckled.

“Fine.”

Lena looked at the broken box in her hand and put Alex on speaker while she paced around the object. “Let’s say you wanted to fit something that just didn’t into a box. It was important to you, but not the project.”

“I feel like I need a bit more context, Luthor.”

“Okay, I have the Anti-Kryptonite box here and it’s ready to go, but I want to give Supergirl the ability to use it almost as a weapon to destroy whatever’s being targetted at her.”

“Okay, well, I would say for your current prototype, as is would be perfect for her since we don’t have the technology to protect her. If you want to improve upon it, we can always get some of our technicians to help you?”

“Okay, sounds like a plan, so how does three sound?”

“Excuse me?”

“Meet up around 3 tomorrow so I can give you the box and schematics?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Do you want to meet at my place or the bar?”

“The bar works for me.”

“Perfect, thanks, Alex.”

In slight shock, the call ended and Alex placed her phone in her locker. She nodded slightly and continued waiting until Maggie joined her ten minutes later.

“So, what are we hittin’ today? Legs, pump some iron,” Maggie joked by flexing her biceps. “You good?”

“Yeah, just going to meet up with Lena tomorrow for that box.”

“Ah, I wasn’t tuned in for that convo, so tell me more.”

“Oh, anti-kryptonite,” she briefly explained as they went to work out. “We can do full body. What’s your experience with gyms?”

“I usually go three to four times a week. So, I’ll follow your lead.”

[disaster-j]

Is gramblack cannon in the novel also do u know where I can read it?

Yeah they're canon in the novel, Gram's entire arc was about his sad gay yearning for Black. And Black liked him back he was just allergic to feelings and denying it vehemently. Before the show came out there were a bunch of unofficial translations of the novel but they were mostly taken down so i don't have any links atm but check twitter and Wattpad and you'll likely find something. I don't recommend reading the novel tho the main plot is completely different and just overall it's not exactly good.