#and vehemently denying his feelings of gay

[lilac-gold]

sorry guys kel x the maverick is the best ship in omori and i will die on this hill

[intothedysphoria]

Steve didn’t understand why people kept trying to push him towards Billy Hargrove.

It was like they didn’t think two gay guys could co exist in the same space without fucking, it was archaic. Besides, they hung out in completely different circles, bar being on the same basketball team.

Steve wouldn’t be interesting enough for Billy. Or smart enough. It was just Carol’s obsession with meddling so Steve ignored it.

He was watching the Lion King to revel in nostalgia when Dustin demanded to know how long he and Billy had been dating. When Steve looked blank, Dustin sighed and told him to check Instagram.

Tommy, the eternal troll had made a long post about his “favourite couple” which would seem sincere to anyone who hadn’t been friends with Tommy since the first grade. So now Steve had to do damage control.

Ignoring his mom’s texts about the “lovely new boy”, Steve decided to go on a quest to Billy’s apartment.

The Billy Hargrove Steve came across when he knocked was glowing with anger. The only positive was that the anger was directed at Tommy, not Steve.

He’d also evidently been cooking, judging by the smells coming from the kitchen. Steve sat himself under a shrine to Metallica and accepted a bowl of soup, poorly masking his confusion.

“How the fuck do we clear this up?”

Well that was the question.

Vehemently denying it would make them look guilty, ignoring it would make everyone just think of it as fact………..there was only really one option.

They played into it. Just a little bit.

A couple of flirty Instagram posts, some footsie under the table, everyone would realise how ridiculously not a couple they were.

At least that was the plan.

What actually ended up happening was Steve getting handsy with Billy in a club because he’d just realised a year long crush. Billy was presumably just super fucking horny.

Tommy was annoyed that they’d taken the joke back from him, which was really the aim, (Steve loved Tommy but god he was insufferable sometimes), but Robin didn’t seem so sure.

“Just check that you’re both on the same page with this Steve. You tend to get attached quite quick.”

Ugh.

With a deep feeling of reluctance, Steve sent Billy a voicemail, then hid his phone under his bed.

If he didn’t look at the phone, the problem didn’t exist.

It had become the Harrington way.

Over the next week, it had gotten so excruciatingly awkward that even Tommy apologised. And everyone was telling him to talk to Billy.

Even Heather who found listening to anyone’s love life a tedious activity said he NEEDED to see Billy.

It was the word need that got Steve to go over. Also the fact that it sounded like Billy had been crying.

Steve was not a fan of any type of scary conversations but the one with Billy was mercifully brief. And it didn’t end up including a lot of talking.

Having his next Instagram post as them kissing on the beach may have been corny but it was worth it.

[fridurwrites]

@eldest-of-katts Yo! Happy truce! I tried pushing two of your prompts together into one, I hope I did them justice. AO3 Link here!

Pride, Anxiety, and Awkward Teenage Confessions

“Er. Mr. Lancer?”

William Lancer looks up from the final he’s putting together. It’s early morning, June first. The sun is barely starting to come up, the dew still fresh on the plants outside.

In theory, he came in to finish working on the draft of his English 2 final in peace. So what in the City of Night is the chronically late freshman Danny Fenton doing here already, peeking around the corner of his office door?

Actually, hold onto that thought. Danny’s still got eye bags the size of the old purse in Will’s closet and he looks rough, like he’s been in a fight of some kind. There was a ghost fight earlier in the morning, but Danny shouldn’t look like he’d taken part. Will carefully slides the unfinished test draft into his desk drawer before gesturing to the other chair in the room. He wants to tread carefully here. Danny isn’t in the habit of coming to him with problems, but it’s no secret that the kid has plenty to spare. “Is something the matter, Danny?”

Danny hesitates, then slips inside. “I dunno. What’s with the tie and flag and all that?”

“What do you mean? I know you’re familiar with pride flags.” Will says, eyebrows knitting. He really hopes he’s not wrong about that, or- worse- that he isn’t about to hear something wildly out of character for the boy.

“I- er-” Danny fumbles for a moment. “I mean, of course I am, I just wasn’t- why are you wearing, uh?”

Ah. Well, that’s not unheard of. Students always seem to think their teachers’ lives begin and end with the ringing of the school bell. Will quirks an eyebrow, giving Danny a smirk. “I would think that’s rather obvious?”

Danny’s face goes through a few stages of bafflement before finally landing in the realm of realization. It’s hilarious. Will has to carefully school his face not to give away just how amusing it is, actually. It’s not like Danny has any reason to have thought about this, but watching him rationalize the idea that his teacher is more than just the bald man that knows way too much about old books and plays is really entertaining. 

Finally, the kid settles on a breathless “Oh.” before sinking his head into his hands.

Will is probably not supposed to hear the way he mumbles something about getting his head hit harder than he thought. He blanches for a moment, makes a herculean effort to recover, then clears his throat. “Are you all right, Danny?”

“Mhuh?” Danny lifts his head, frowning, then nods slowly. “Yeah, sorry.”

That’s unsurprisingly hard to believe. Will returns his frown, leaning back in his chair. How best to approach this?

“Why are you here, anyway? School doesn’t begin for another two hours.” 

“Oh, uh. Just. Had to take care of some things early.” Danny’s eyes fall to his hands. “Didn’t feel like going home, so here I am.”

Will frowns. He could ask. He should, probably. But he’s had enough experience asking Danny questions when the kid feels evasive that he knows it’ll be a losing battle, and both kids have vehemently denied any concerns that their parents are responsible for the various injuries Danny occasionally sports.

He’s still thinking about how he might find out why Danny didn’t want to go home at six in the morning on a Monday when the kid’s intense stare snaps back up to him. “Can I ask you a weird question, Mr. Lancer?”

“Of course.” Will says, automatically. The mystery gets pushed aside in favor of helping in the immediate.

“So, um- you’re gay, right?”

“I identify as bisexual.” Danny makes an odd face, then shrugs. “Close enough. How did you know that you like guys?”

Ah. So the morning takes another twist and turn. Still, Lancer’s had this conversation with questioning students before. “If you’re looking for a dramatic story, I’m afraid it’s not quite that interesting. I had just started college and I realized my feelings for my best friend at the time were a lot more involved than just enjoying his company when I went out on a date with a woman and kept picturing him in her place.”

Danny’s face goes a bit pink. “What’d he say about it?”

Will smiles, watching his student closely. Now that’s interesting. “Ah, you know, it took me weeks to finally tell him how I felt. Things weren’t as simple back then, so I had to work up the courage. It turned out he was straight, but I don’t regret it. We still talk, and through him I met my actual first boyfriend.”

“He wasn’t mad?”

“Stone Butch Blues, no! He was flattered!” Will laughs. “Flattered, and glad that I’d trusted him enough to tell him.”

“Huh.” Danny tilts his head. It reminds Will of a curious puppy, not that he’d ever tell the boy that. “How’d you tell him?”

“Well, I had come up with this elaborate speech, studied all the best poetry I could find, but when I went to try to tell him about it not a single line stayed in my head. I wound up just outright asking him out to dinner.” Will shakes his head. “Not my finest moment, but he seemed to think it was a lot better when he did eventually read what I’d been planning on saying.”

Danny snorts, then stiffens, but Will smiles with as much acceptance and kindness as he can. “We still bring it up, sometimes. It’s good for a laugh, especially now that I teach English.”

“I- huh.” Danny fidgets again. “Um. Well. Thanks, Mr. Lancer, I, uh. Sorry I interrupted whatever you were doing.”

Will waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. Are you heading home now?”

“Ah, eh.” Danny shrugs. “I kinda thought I’d just find somewhere to take a nap or something? Is that allowed?”

Will tries very hard not to scowl the way he finds himself wanting to. Sure, there’s not that much time before classes begin, but he thought he’d take a nap somewhere on campus? “Where were you thinking you’d do that, exactly?”

Danny rubs the back of his neck, frowning, like he’s just realizing maybe he said something he shouldn’t have. “Uh.”

The boy’s eyes go wide when Will gets up, and he starts to stand as well, only to pause when Will walks over to the corner of his office and grabs a box of textbooks off of the covered recliner there. It takes a few moments to clear the chair off enough to pull the sheet off of it, but when he does, Danny’s eyes go wide. 

“I had a period where I was getting migraines in the middle of the day.’” Will explains, balling the sheet up and tossing it into the adjacent corner. He can deal with it later. “Amy was vice principal then, and she helped me sneak this in to rest on during lunches.”

“Amy?” Danny asks, squinting.

“Ah. Principal Ishiyama, sorry.” Will shrugs. “Anyway, I’m just going to be doing some work. If you want to use it, you’re welcome to. I’d rather you be somewhere secure than in an empty classroom or in one of the halls.”

Danny’s still squinting at him, like he can’t quite determine if Will’s genuine or not. Will doesn’t say anything. He’s starting to think he should treat Danny almost more like a cat, and so he sits back down at his desk, pulls out the exam he was working on before, and gets back to it without another glance at the kid.

It takes a whole five more minutes before Danny’s curled up in the chair, quickly falling asleep. Will sighs quietly, makes a note to call Jasmine- not the Doctors, he’s learned that lesson after one too many times having to clean up a classroom after the tornado named Jack Fenton tore through it- and lets himself focus on his work again. 

It probably says something unkind about his home life that when Danny woke up from his nap in Lancer’s office, he felt more rested than he had in months. He decided not to think about it, thanked Lancer for the chair, and went to get his books from his locker and his backpack from the wall he’d phased it into earlier.

He had other things to worry about, anyway.

He still does, halfway into fourth period. 

It’s just that Tucker is right there, okay? And at some point today, emboldened by Lancer’s words (which, wow, not something he imagined he’d ever be thinking) he really, really wants to tell him that. Well. Okay, they’re fourteen, and it’s probably nothing, and Tucker’s so loud about the girls he wants to date, and.

Whatever. Point is, Danny wants to tell him about the way his stomach gets all weird when he’s carrying Tucker somewhere as Phantom. He wants to say that he keeps stopping himself from grabbing Tucker’s hand when they’re walking together. He wants to let him know that he’s listened to him ramble about tech or code or games or whatever he wants to talk about since they were old enough to have interests like that and he still doesn’t think he’ll get sick of it. 

He thinks he’d rather fight Pariah again without the ecto-suit than have to figure out a way to actually voice those things, and yet. Lancer said his friend had been flattered. Lancer said they still talked. 

He’s lost in his head when the bell rings, and startles bad when Tucker nudges his shoulder. “Bwhuh?”

“You good? Class ended like two minutes ago and you just sat there staring.”

Danny stares at his crush friend for a long moment, then nods, getting up and grabbing his bag. Lunchtime means a chance to make this happen before his nerve disappears entirely. “Yeah. Um. You think we could, maybe, talk?”

Tucker gives him an odd look. “Sure?”

He- he really hopes he hasn’t already sabotaged this. He might still before he even gets to the really scary part. “Without Sam?”

That makes Tucker frown, and for a moment Danny’s heart rate reaches something akin to a healthy resting level for a normal person again. “Uh. I guess, but she’s gonna be waiting for us already at the cafeteria? It’s Monday, so, you know.”

Danny does know. One of the lingering vestiges of Sam’s somewhat insufferable past moralizing about her veganism is Monday, the dreaded veggies and rice day. They’ve all grown up a lot in the months since then, he’d like to think, but she still seems to find a vindictive kind of pleasure in watching Tucker choke the vegetables down. 

Even if he’s sympathetic, even if this is his crush, he’s secretly at least glad that Tucker has one meal away from home that’s not greasy and protein-laden. He’d like both his closest friends to last longer than he did as something that can be called alive, thank you. He sighs anyway, puts on a grimace that he thinks Lancer’s drama elective would probably give him a good grade for, and wraps an arm around Tucker’s shoulders as they walk.

He’s going for comforting, in theory, but he doesn’t let go even when the pair find Sam waiting for them next to the cafeteria door as usual. Tucker’s warm. He always has been, and humans are all warm compared to Danny now, but something about Tucker’s warmth makes him want to hold it close. 

Or maybe he’s just gayer than he’s ready to admit. ‘Liking boys’ and ‘crushing on Tucker’ is already a lot to accept about himself, he feels, so he pushes that thought aside and flashes a nervous grin at Sam. “Heeeey.”

She stares at him for a long moment, then rolls her eyes. “What is it this time?” “Nothing bad! I just need to talk to Tuck. Alone. We didn’t wanna no-show you though.”

Their friend narrows her eyes in just the right predator-glare way that Danny wonders if Dora’s amulet didn’t have some kind of lasting effect. He shrinks a bit under her gaze, and Tucker snorts. 

“I dunno what’s up with him, but I think this time it’s not actually anything huge. Probably just the reason he was spaced out all last period.” 

Sam blinks at that, and the pressure Danny swears he feels from her attention fades. She glances between the pair, then- to his abject horror- a smirk slowly pulls at her lips. “Oh, really?”

Danny manages a reedy noise before clearing his throat and nodding. She’s been onto him for a while, he realized that a week ago, but in a rare show of restraint she hasn’t actually said anything. He almost wishes she would’ve, because maybe then he would’ve started thinking about it sooner, but a Sam that doesn’t make your business her business is a precious thing and he’s not about to complain too much.

“Well.” Sam says, and fuck, he’s blushing, isn’t he? His blood might be thick and cool compared to a normal human’s, but he can still feel the way it rushes to his face so hard it colors the tips of his ears. “I’m going to eat my delicious lunch by myself, and if you two need me to, I’ll cover for you with Falluca.” Tucker huffs. “You’re just in a good mood because it’s Monday.”

“Sure.” Sam’s smirk is sharp and unrelenting. “Have fun with whatever you’re off to do, but I want details later.”

“Yeah.” Danny squeaks, his voice cracking, and if he weren’t in such a public space he’d just vanish into invisibility and try this again tomorrow after something like that. “Cool. Later, Sam.”

She shoots him a completely conspicuous wink before she marches off into the throngs of students behind the cafeteria door, leaving the boys alone in the hallway.

Great. 

Before Tucker can say anything, Danny’s pulling him toward the nearest empty room. If he waits, if something interrupts them, he’ll lose the momentum that’s gotten him this far. He can’t afford that. Can’t allow it. If even Mr. Lancer could do this, surely he can too. 

Once the door is shut firmly behind them, he releases his hold on Tucker and takes a deep breath. “So, uh.”

His friend raises an eyebrow, and Danny stutters over nonsense syllables for a moment before settling on “I need to tell you something really important?”

“More important than lunch?” 

“More important than anything.” Danny says, hands twisting around each other nervously. 

Tucker blinks, then reaches out and puts his hand on Danny’s shoulder. Danny tries not to lean into his touch like some kind of touch-starved cat. “You mean that, huh? This is serious-serious.”

Danny nods once. 

“Okay.” Tucker frowns. “You’re not like, dying the rest of the way, right?”

“What? No! Besides, I’d tell both of you if it was something like that!” Danny squawks. 

“Hey, it’s not like you haven’t been weird about ghost stuff before!” 

“I promised to keep you both in the loop after the whole ‘ghost cold’ thing!”

Tucker rolls his eyes. “Well if it’s not something like that, then what else is so important, huh?”

Danny’s mouth feels like someone glued his tongue down, suddenly. He swallows to try and clear the feeling away. “It’s, uh. About. Um, crud, I mean- I think I, uh, maybe- do you like guys?”

Tucker looks at him like he’s struggling to parse the words Danny stuttered out. When his brain catches up, his eyes widen, and Danny’s sure this is the moment of rejection at best. Tucker’s been his friend since they were in diapers, why did he think this was something worth risking that over, Lancer said he was in college when he asked and Sam was probably just teasing him, and-

“I,” Tucker manages, before he pauses again and makes his ‘thinking’ face. Danny’s seen it countless times when Tucker’s elbow-deep in a problem and dialed in on solving it. It’s rare for it to come out in a conversation like this, but, well.

Danny’s used to feeling like a problem to be solved. He’s just not used to feeling that way around the people he’s closest to. It kinda sucks, but it’s not that much worse than the building heartache, so, you know. 

“I don’t know? I guess, uh, hm.” Tucker says, and Danny’s brain feels like it’s lagging out. Huh. “I guess I never really thought too hard about it before? But I mean, Too Fine Foley should be for everyone, maybe?” He makes a weak attempt at a grin. Danny stares at him in disbelief, and Tucker plows on through the awkwardness. “Why do you wanna know?”

“Er.” Danny thinks- well, he thinks he needs someone to smack him like a cartoon record player. Tucker’s not saying any variation of no, though. He honestly didn’t think he’d get this far. “I. I think I do. Like guys. Well, a guy. Maybe?”

Tucker’s face does something complicated. There’s the tickle of nerves and hope mingling in Danny’s sinuses, as much as he’s trying not to cheat with his weird empath bullshit. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The pair stare at each other for what feels like an eternity.

“It’s, um. It’s you. I mean. The guy I, y’know, like.” Danny says, because the silence feels like it’s clawing at the inside of his skin. 

Tucker exhales an “Ohthankgod”, then reaches forward and pulls Danny into one of the tightest hugs either of them has ever experienced. Danny’s instantly glad he doesn’t actually need to breathe, wrapping Tucker up in a hug of his own. It’s more restrained- a confession like this would be ruined by accidental use of ghostly strength- but he thinks he’s got it just right to feel no less secure.

Then, maybe because they’re both a little overwhelmed and Danny’s basking in the open love and relief that pour off Tucker to the point it maybe has him a bit giddy, he plants his hands on Tucker’s cheeks and pushes the most awkward, genuine, meaningful kiss a fourteen year old has ever managed onto his friend-crush-boyfriend-whatever’s lips. 

It’s not a good kiss, really, and Danny will probably remember that much. Their noses are uncomfortable scrunched against each other, he’s off-center, he’s pushing Tucker’s glasses up with his face. It doesn’t matter, because it’s him kissing the boy he spent the last year realizing he kinda maybe loves in ways that don’t make sense if he just wants to stay simply best friends. 

It’s not until Tucker pushes at his shoulders that he realizes that the other boy needs to breathe still, and he pulls back, both of them gasping and grinning and so red in the face they’ll both be sent to the nurse if they get caught right now.

“Holy shit.” Tucker says. Then he grins again. “You are ass at kissing, dude. I gotta work on that with you.” Danny gawps at him. “Hey, I think that was pretty good for a dead dude’s first try! Not all of us practiced in a mirror like you did!” They stare at each other. Tucker starts giggling, and Danny follows suit, and they end up falling over each other in a mutual laughing fit.

When they finally emerge from the classroom several minutes later, it’s with Tucker refusing to let go of Danny’s hand. And when Lancer passes them in the hall, eyes landing on their locked fingers, all he does is smile and nod, a quiet and knowing sort of congratulations.

Sam’s first words in the cafeteria that day are “Finally! Took you long enough.”

Danny can’t help but agree. 

[moutainrusing]

left out

634 words, peter x james

“Move over.”

And Peter did, because he did anything James asked him to. James clambered into Peter’s bed and proceeded to take up all the space with his limbs, and Peter let him.

For a minute, they both stared at Peter’s canopy in silence. James broke it. Only James could. “They’re dating.”

That was a fact. Peter knew that. Was he meant to respond? James had just said it as a statement. Or a declaration. Quieter, Peter replied, “I know.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Peter saw James turn to face him, push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, grin wonkily, “They’re leaving us out.”

He didn’t mean that grin. So Peter frowned, reflecting what James felt on the inside for him. “I know.” Imagine what would happen if Peter told James that he’d always been left out. Although he didn’t need to imagine, because he knew that James would deny vehemently. That would be that. There was no point discussing his feelings. There was also no point feeling.

“Petey,” James poked his side. “I wish I had a date. Then Sirius and Remus could date, and I wouldn’t have to miss them, ‘cause I’d also be dating. But now I miss them, and I can’t tell them, because they are spending time with me as friends, but it’s split, because they want to spend time with each other as boyfriends.”

James wouldn’t ever miss Peter, though. He had Peter right now, and all he could do was miss Sirius and Remus. “They don’t like being called boyfriends.” Peter sounded so detached. He remained fixated on the canopy.

James huffed, “They just can’t admit they’re gay. If I dated a boy, I’d be fine calling us boyfriends.”

Peter’s voice got stuck somewhere in his lungs. If James dated a boy, Peter would have nothing to cling onto. For now, James was straight. It made it easier. Someone else spoke for Peter, another voice inside of him, one that didn’t get stuck, the one that didn’t care, the one that spoke even when he was scared. “It’s not ‘cause they can’t admit they’re gay. I don’t think either of them are completely gay, either. It’s just… why would they call themselves boyfriends when they were already boys who are friends?”

“Then they’re all my boyfriends,” James sighed. “I want to call them cute, lovely, lovey boyfriends.” He made heart-shapes with his hands.

Now Peter could tell that James was just getting bored. “Cool. Tell them that.”

“I can’t, they’re off snogging or something.” James was whining, and at this point he’d just say anything for attention.

“Tell them later.”

“I want a boyfriend.” Anything for attention.

“Go and get one.”

“I’m not completely gay either.” He was joking.

“You’re straight.”

“I’m a raging lesbian.” Peter knew he’d been joking.

This was Peter’s bed, and he could easily kick James out if he wanted to. No, he couldn’t. He sighed, “Then rage about it.”

“Peter.”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Peter’s eyes widened fractionally. James was bored. Bored and bored. So bored. This was normal boredom. “...I’m not a woman.”

James poked him, “Dunno, I’d need evidence.”

Peter really wanted to kick him. “Believe what you want, I’m not giving you evidence.”

“Can I kiss you or not?” Joking.

“No, you can’t.” Lying.

Peter could feel James’s eyes on him. “Okay, Pete.” James got out of the bed.

And Peter was left staring up, lost and wondering why James had sounded disappointed. He was probably missing Sirius and Remus. And Peter had been useless in keeping him company. Because Peter could never joke like they did. All he ever did was say too little, say the wrong thing. He spoke too quietly, or too lethargically. He hid information. Or he straight-up lied.

[dozyisdead]

I’ve never really thought about how lonely it must be to be a “First” until I got into F1. I’d like to explore that a little bit with you guys if you don’t mind.

1. Sir Lewis Hamilton

We all know what makes him a First, but there’s layers to it. Lewis is the First Black driver, First Black point scorer, First Black race winner, First Black championship winner. He is a lot of Firsts, and he’s set and broken so many records, he’s become so decorated. He’s a master of his craft, but that is where it gets lonely. I don’t know if many realize it, but racism is rampant in the world, despite how many will deny it, and it’s very rampant in Europe. Yes, I can’t speak much as an American, but at the same time we do not deny it and try to hide it so vehemently as some of Europe does. And in that world Lewis has talked about being called racial slurs from a young age, when he was still in karting. There’s a specific interview I keep thinking of, and it breaks my heart every time I think of it. Lewis has been set alone from the second he started, and he has never been to blame for it. But him being a First has become so Important, and I know he has people that make it known that he is not alone.

2. Zhou Guanyu

I don’t think people realize this, But Zhou is the first and only Chinese F1 driver to ever race. He has become a pillar of movement in that act, in a way like Lewis. I know there are obvious differences in their positions, but it’s still a monumental feat. We have know that F1 is dominated by Europeans, and yes there have been asian drivers before him, but to be the First for your country? It’s a position filled with pressure and can often be isolating, especially when you take language and culture into consideration. Not only is he one of two Asian drivers on the grid, he’s the only one who speaks his language. And I’m speaking from the perspective of someone who’s learning other languages when I say English is hell to learn. It’s my first language and I do not understand it at all, I can’t imagine how hard it is for someone who’s uses completely different characters like Yuki or Zhou. But Zhou, he is loved, and I wish people would acknowledge the steps he has made as a First, as someone who opened a door for others.

3. Logan Sargeant

The first American on the gird to score points in over 30 years. Yes, there had been other American drivers since Andretti’s 1993 season, Scott Speed and Alexander Rossi, but they did not score points. There’s actually something that I would like to point out regarding one of his predecessors, Mr. Speed, as they both completed a season and a half. But, that’s beside the point. Logan, be the first in a long time, in this century, is a lonely thing. There’s other drivers who I think can attest to that, but I feel like it’s a very unique thing, especially when you come from a place where something like F1 isn’t as big as say NASCAR, or even Indy. It’s a little film of separation that you can feel, no matter if it’s as thin as a spider web.

4. Ralf Schumacher

The First openly homosexual former driver who raced in F1, it’s a beautiful feeling to know he’s become comfortable enough to share it. I can imagine the hell it caused him mentally and emotionally to be in such a position that made it to where every moment could be taken out of context. And I would like to point out the impact he made, by not revealing it until later. The fact that we knew him first as a good driver and not as “the gay man in F1” is so important and people might not understand that. He is a First of ground-shaking proportions, and I sometimes wish we could have known sooner, but I also understand him so well. I’m the first openly queer person in my family, and as the first openly queer person in a partially south asian family, it’s terrifying. I can’t imagine how it would have been for him, in what we call the peak of motorsports, in a sport that has so much distaste for even women participating, if someone who was queer was to try. He has put himself on a pedestal that shows others that it’s okay to exist in that world, not just drive. You, Ralf Schumacher, have done so much more than you can think.

There are MANY more, I know, but those three have stood out to me recently. Everyone has their own little pedestal that they stand on, that shows how unique they are, but there is nothing quite like a First. I have so much love for all of these men, and so much joy and sorrow for them.

Being a First is lonely, I know it well and I have learned it well, but when you are in a sport that gives you no privacy like F1, it becomes even lonelier. They are human, and as other Firsts in our own lives and worlds, we must not forget that.

[sushiwriterhere]

a little bit of fun

this is my attempt at a drabble (1.8ish-k words), this is for/dedicated to/inspired by @laracrofted and @theharddeck because sometimes a threesome can be and is something so personal and healing <3 i hope you enjoy!! i have nothing else to say for myself lmao - minors DNI! warnings: threesome (mmf, and the boys do kiss hehe), dp (PiV, unprotected) + ass play (oops lol), spanking, dacryphilia a bit, pining if you squint tagging?? @sebsxphia @sometimesanalice @waklman @joaquinwhorres @gretagerwigsmuse @lewmagoo @genius2050 @seresinsweetie

You're midway through taking your first sip of the perfect ice cold beer when a deep voice behind you intones, "We saw you from across the bar, we liked your vibe."

Turning around slowly, you turn a very unimpressed gaze upon Jake and Javy, both of whom are sporting shit eating grins. They're clearly amused with themselves.

"What is this gay lovers bit you guys are doing?" You raise an eyebrow at the pair, nodding your head at where Javy has an arm draped across Jake's shoulders. "And why do you think it's going to work?"

If you're honest, the two of them are a sight to behold. They both somehow glow under the artificial lighting of the Hard Deck, and their uniforms are too form-fitting to not be tailored, despite you knowing they're not. Truly, it's unfair how attractive the both of them are.

"It's worked before, sweetheart," Jake's smile is sharklike, but there's little real bite behind it. It's Javy you've got to keep an eye on.

"Thought we might try again." Javy lets his eyes scan your body lazily, not even bothering to hide the way his gaze fixates on the way your thighs press against the barstool and the way your tits strain against the sundress you'd thrown on.

"Well, you're shit outta luck. Not looking to get disappointed one more time today." You make to turn the barstool around, but then Jake's crowding you against the bar.

He's so fucking warm and solid against you, you almost don't know what to do. But you push weakly against his chest and try to make a help expression at Javy over his shoulder. He just shakes his head.

"Disappointed? Baby, if I remember correctly you were–"

You don't let him finish because you slap a hand over his mouth and exclaim, "Okay! None of that please. I'll get Penny to ring the bell if you finish that sentence."

Behind Jake, Javy just smiles warmly at you and his expression melts into something that sends a lightning bolt of arousal through you, "Just one drink?"

"Fine. One."

-

"Thought you said, uh, you didn't want to do this again," Jake's voice is strained with the way he's holding himself back from thrusting up into you. "Fuck, you're tight."

All you can do is moan in response as you drop your forehead to rest on his shoulder. Every single one of your nerves feels like it's on fire and you think you might be running a fever. Stradling Jake's hips and sandwiched between the two men, with Jake's cock already buried inside of you and Javy steadily sliding into you, your mind is swimming with arousal.

"Nah, our girl loves a little hate fuck." Javy emphasizes his last word with a little thrust, one that jostles both you and Jake up the bed just slightly.

Despite the copious amounts of prep and what feels like a good third of the bottle of lube Jake keeps in his bedside table (which he vehemently denies he bought just for when this keeps happening), you still feel the slight stretch as Javy inches inside you alongside Jake. You're panting and whining; you can't even bring yourself to care about the fact that you're supposed to not want this. The two of them are relentless, Javy behind you, Jake under you.

"Shit, shit, fuck!" You gasp out as Javy finally bottoms out. "Both of you aren't supposed to have huge dicks," You pause to let out a whine as Jake rocks his hips up just slightly, "That's against the laws of nature or something."

"The fact that you're talking so much means we're doing something wrong," Javy laughs lightly and smacks your ass in a way that makes you jolt.

"Shit, Javy, you gotta warn me before you do that." Jake attempts levity but you can hear the way he's fighting the urge to throw caution and coordination to the wind, press his feet into the mattress, and fuck you with abandon.

Javy doesn't respond, instead he makes his point by using one of his huge hands to grab your hip and the other to grab you by the ribs and dragging you back against his hips and down onto both his and Jake's cocks. A surprised groan leaves Jake and you squeal.

You bite Jake's neck to try and muffle the moans that are bursting from your chest at the way Javy's hands feel on you, the way Jake keeps petting your sides but also pinching your nipples. He usually complains the morning after, but never in the moment.

It would surprise most people, you think, the way the two operate in bed. Javy's usually confident in that quiet way that lets you know he's competent, whereas Jake is all ego. Every time you've found yourself in this exact position though, or some form of it, it's Javy who's in charge.

You're digging your nails into Jake's shoulders and trying to breathe through the onslaught of sensations as Javy sets a brutal pace, your forehead buried in Jake's neck. He throws his head back and pushes his hips up just as Javy pulls out and the way the two slide past each other instead of with each other might haunt you for the rest of your life.

When Javy puts a hand on the back of your neck for leverage, you know you can't hold on to your ploy any longer. You lose yourself in the way your bodies move in tandem, the way Jake moans and pants are right by your ear. Javy spanks you again and you feel the tears on your cheeks before you register that you're crying at all.

Then Javy's lips are up against your ear, "Fuck, look at you, taking our cocks so well. You're so fucking perfect, made for this, made to be stretched out and fucked."

Jake groans when Javy's lips brush his over your shoulder and then he's babbling too, "Shit, Javy, I can feel her squeezing us. Baby, I can't believe you pretend you don't love this."

You think you might be trying to defend yourself, might be trying to tell them that it makes it fun when everyone involved knows that this is how you'll end up anyway, but you can't form words. All your attention is on the way the curls at the base of Jake's cock are rubbing on your clit, the way one of Javy's hands has sneaked around to the nipple he's learned is more sensitive than the other. You think you might be drooling as you moan mindlessly.

Then, the moment of light tenderness is over when Javy leans back slightly and chuckles darkly before saying, "Jake, watch this."

His free hand grabs your ass and spreads you open. Then he spits. You moan at the sensation of the coolness against you, til he gently prods at you with his thumb and you choke off the sound. You jerk away from the sensation involuntarily, a little too fucked out to control your body, a little too turned on to do anything but gasp out a desperate please.

"Fuck, Javy, do it again, she loves it." Jake lifts your face away from his neck so he can look into your eyes, so he can see the way they flutter at the sensation of being so goddamn full.

You can only imagine what you look like–sweat plastering your hair to your forehead and neck, eyes slightly red from crying, lips bitten to hell. He keeps eye contact as Javy repeats his actions and your eyes roll back. Your eyes are closed when his hand slides from your face to your neck and just holds you there.

The moan you let out when Javy moves his hand from the back of your neck to trail feather-light down your back is animalistic, it tears itself out of your chest as you feel yourself cry again. Jake tries to keep an even pace with the rhythm of Javy's hips, but you can feel the way they're starting to lose pace, clearly both close.

Then Javy starts talking. It's always the same when you're all so fucked out, the barriers come down.

"Such a good fucking girl, you should see the way you're stretched around us, good god, never going to let you go. Should keep you here so we can do this every day, fuck you full of us, sweet, sweet girl." His voice has lost its hard edge, but he keeps the tip of his finger in your ass, his other hand on your lower back.

"Fuck, you're so good to us. You look so good like this, bent over for me, I bet Jake loves the way your tits feel. You're so fucking incredible."

Jake somehow finds it in himself to speak up too, "Come for us, c'mon baby, let go, wanna feel you come around us so fucking bad. Let go, come for us."

They've never failed to talk you through it. It makes your heart clench in your chest in a way that it shouldn't when you're split open on their cocks, when your eyes are too glazed over to really see the expression on Jake's face where he's now holding your face firmly in one of his hands.

They hold you when you finally fall apart, barely faltering. Jake keeps chanting something about your tight fucking cunt and Javy pets your back and calls you our best girl.

Jake finishes next with a grunt that breaks off into a moan as he shoves his hips up hard into you, and you shudder from oversensitivity. When Javy comes it's sloppy, like it always is, his cum adding to the warmth of Jake already inside you. Everyone's oversensitive but Javy keeps the three of you rocking together til you come to and whine and smack Jake in the chest, til you brace yourself on him so you can reach back and try to hit Javy too.

"There you are..." He murmurs as he pulls out and you almost collapse from the way you know his eyes are hyper focused on the mixture of his and Jake's cum leaking out of you.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," You grind out as you roll off Jake and throw an arm over your eyes, remembering that you're supposed to hate them, but also bone tired.

Jake's arms are still around you and your legs are draped on Javy's thighs, his hands now petting your calves and thighs. It's strangely domestic and soothing despite the way you ache and you know you'll need them to hold you for the next hour. They always do it more than enthusiastically, working as well together to take care of you afterwards as they do a team in the air.

In that moment though, Javy's smile is devilish when you peek at him and you know Jake is wearing a matching expression, "Why? You offering?"

"Oh, fuck you."

"Already did, baby, already did."

read the companion fic - “it’s not rotten work (not if it’s you)”

[freakinator]

@myrmica sorry your vitalazam (ship) ask got deleted cause i tried to save it as draft and thats just not allowed ig my bad

so while i Have seen some stuff from s4 i havent seen all of it yet so i dont have the complete picture of how their relationship was but i do know enough to know that they did (and still do tbh) care for each other and tried their hardest to make compromises before The Great DivorceTM but well. we saw how it turned out. in another life they def couldve worked out but as you yourself said that would require them to be different ppl with different goals, mindsets, experiences, and circumstances so in the end it doesnt really matter anyway, whats done is done and all they can do is to try to reconcile and move past it -- and try to reconcile and move past it they did! with... variable results.

despite zams resilience when it comes to external troubles its rather typical of him to succumb to his internal ones which generally leads to one or both results: repression/avoidance or a desire for action to an unhealthy degree and in s5 he managed to do both! hey girl why are you vehemently trying to repress your past while relentlessly tormenting your ex under the guise of "cause you felt like it" which gets worse the more he tries to bring up your past together with you only to finally let it all go when he gives you a book addressed to your real life self?? gay as fuck if you ask me

when it comes to zam it really feels like vi is endlessly trying to reach towards someone who burns at even his slightest of touches and reacts accordingly. while most probably give up especially with how frustrated and agrieved he is he cant help but keep trying to reach out anyway cause despite everything he doesnt wanna cut off that connection. what really gets me tho is the fact that he entrusted jumper to abyss despite the fact that their relationship has been nothing but antagonistic til that point like girl why did you think that a team made up of some of the main proponents of your suffering both that season and the season before that which btw includes your ex who was the main source of said suffering both times who keeps trying to deny what you had and either avoids you or tries to kill you, were the most fitting and reliable candidates to be with your best friend and neglected teammate?? gay as fuck if you ask me

idk vitalazam is just one missed opportunities after another i think, always so close but never enough, always something to regret, always something to grieve and this season was no exception. icb vi logged on for a whole 24 hours unsure when he can log back on again and zam decided to prioritize building the mapicc castle instead of spend as much time as possible with him 😭 and now zams living in vis basement and keeps ruminating over the past and what vis been through and wants to revive him even if he never logs back on again like. bro.

overall i think theyre ill and they make me feel ill and they should be studied in a lab i think

[brodygold]

Hey, you! My friends keep nagging me to join them at some fancy spa resort on the day my best friend is supposed to be marrying his one true love. From what I know, this spa is run by your so-called Golden Army or whatever who turns God-fearing men into your band of sodomites! I dunno what you're planning, but it ain't going to fly by me! Try me if you wanna! I double-dog dare you. If my guys get turned into gays and their girlfriends and wives give me hell, I will sue you!

Hey there, bro. No need to worry! I'll let you in on a little secret: We don't do anything that the person doesn't already want deep down. We also accept anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, race, or religious affiliation. Here's an example of me helping someone discover their straight bro side. Just come give our spa a try! I can guarantee you won't leave disappointed. (Also we have very good lawyers. I don't know if suing us would go that well for you)

The one thing the Golden Army doesn't tolerate, though, is bigotry. Sodomite is quite a charged word, you know. Let's go talk in my office. Maybe I can help you understand our point of view.

Now, now, there's no need to fuss or make a scene. We can always talk in the lobby where there are witnesses if you'd prefer. Your party can go on ahead to the spa, their complimentary jerseys catching the sun's rays from the skylight overhead. You can always take one too, but I figured you'd say no.

Like I said, bro, I just want to talk.A healthy dialogue is important. Just relax, calmly explain your position.

I get you not wanting us to change your friends and their wives. I completely understand. But like I said, the only changes are those people really wish for deep down and others around them never remember any differently. And I think you truly desire to be a part of the Army, even if you vehemently deny it.

You didn't even notice the jersey already on you, did you? No, no, no. Don't try to take it off. Let this happen, bro. It feels so good.

Feel your muscles grow in your arms and legs. Feel your brain slowing down a bit. You still remember your friends, but the memories shift. Your best friend is still getting married to the love of his life, and his fiancé can't wait to be his husband. Yes, husband. You're still straight, but your friends and their wives and girlfriends are all gay, bi, or pan men. And you proudly support them. You'll never even think of using the "S-word" ever again. Your friends and their boyfriends or husbands mean too much to you.

Oh look! Your friends have come back looking for you! I have an idea. Why don't we take a group photo to celebrate the occasion? You all look so good in your golden jerseys. I wish you luck in your future endeavors and I'll see you at practice after the holiday season, okay?

[pleucas]

good evening. it is me again, skk hater - no air quotes because i am completely genuine in my hatred. this will be a long one.

i shall first begin with a thanks. i do write pretty often, and my ego has been sufficiently stroked. i suppose even the most despicable people have taste - at least in matters besides ships.

you have asked for my reasoning behind my vehement hatred of skk, and i think it's time for me to provide.

i'm going to be completely truthful - it's all Akutagawa's fault. i love him and his stupid victorian child fashion and british accent and dumb haircut deeply. so, naturally dazai is the bane of my existence.

now, even though i hated dazai more each time Akutagawa appeared, i actually didn't mind SKK for some time. i didn't get it cause Chuuya rarely actually shows up in the manga, which i read straight through without detouring for any of the light novels, but i was fine with it. they're fruity in most all their interactions, i shall never deny that because it's clearer than glass and i'm not that delusional, but i didn't see much substance beyond that.

then i read the novels and slowly came to the conclusion that i actually hate dazai even when Akutagawa isn't in the picture. and when i say HATE i mean HATE. he is the pebble lodged in my shoe, the lego on my cousin's floor, the table leg i stub my toe on, and so forth.

Chuuya, on the other hand, i love. he's great. amazing. stormbringer? peak. so, OBVIOUSLY, he could do much better than dazai. soooo much better. i mean, look at him

every time dazai and Chuuya have their objectively gay moments with each other, i feel like im watching my friend crawl back to their toxic ex.

that's how i feel with most dazai ships, and this is because dazai is always a smug prick towards the person he's being shipped with, and because i love Akutagawa i am not amused by this in the slightest. feels like he's rubbing salt in the wound. i actually like dazai more as a character when he's on the back foot. a (nonromantic) example would be him in The Day I Picked Up Dazai (A Side). dazai and Oda's dynamic is probably the best one dazai has in my eyes - though i don't ship them in the slightest. additionally, i think i, if only for a moment, actually liked dazai when he got ""killed"" in that one chapter. because it was a loss for him. in that moment, he (well, at least we're led to believe) got what he had wished for so often during the series, though it was not on his own terms. therefore, it felt almost like poetic tragedy - i thought it would have been a fitting end for him, and if it truly had been, i might like him now. this, as you know, was not the case.

furthermore, dazai is a fruitcake with or without Chuuya. it's not specific towards him, so i don't think anything real can be drawn from the vaguely homoerotic behaviour. i mean, dazai ballroomed danced with Sigma five minutes after meeting him. man just likes men, i don't know what to say

in conclusion, i feel like their relationship is unbalanced. dazai is never really shown to be all too worked up by Chuuya, even when he seems to be on the losing end of their bickering, but Chuuya is constantly harassed. while it's admittably funny, i don't like it in a romantic sense, nor do i see it in anyway that's different from Kunikida or Sigma.

that's about everything i can say without going on an unorganized tangent. i could bring up more specific issues i have that stem from Stormbringer and the Fifteen novel, but i have actual things ive been putting off writing - there's a whole book being sidelined by SKK right now. this has been a good way of procrastinating, but it must come to an end eventually

as for titles, you can call me Rimu. like the tree,

so, with an abundance of hate, Rimu <3

(ps: you might noticed that dazai's name is not capitalized at all in this ask. this is because he does not deserve that level of respect.)

holy hell Rimu. Hello, formally I guess — I will follow in your footsteps and leave dazai's name uncapitalized, because that was very funny

i've been putting off responding to this for a while but please believe that i have been thinking about it and periodically re-reading it. it's one of the most entertaining asks i've received LOL

to actually respond without completely proving your point of skkers procuring essays (though i'm sure you realize the irony upon review of your own accolade), i'll keep it brief. you had me in the first half, ngl, cuz i'm pretty sure 89% of us [skkers] agree, on a generalized scale, that dazai is the worst and Chuuya deserves everything and more (and better). he's the type of character that i enjoy as pure fiction, bc i know that if i knew him in person i'd hate him. same goes for my opinions on irl dazai — so asagiri did a (rare) justice for his authors there ig

abt everything else tho (imbalance, not being as affected by chuuya, similarity to other ships, and lack of intrigue)... i had a lot of responses prepared but really all of it can be summed up here as this:

like ngl man. LOL. i do blame the anime and its horrendous adaptation of dazai's character and skk's interactions, but that's another can of worms... that i have... opinons... about.

thank you for sharing your thoughts Rimu, i enjoyed reading through it a lot. keep it going!

with a mutual abundance of hate, Cas <3 <3 <3

[xamaxenta]

prince ace forced to attend a ball since he has to choose a woman to marry but he is gay so he is uninterested in all the woman flirting with him. sabo dressing as a woman to sneak in and steal but ace catches his eye and notices he doesnt care for woman so he is like well then let me give this hot dude a shot and starts flirting.ace is like "im not interested" but sabo moves ace hand to feel how hard sabo is and purrs "Oh i think you would be interested in what im offering." and yes ace is 100% interested in what sabo is offering lol so they do to a bedroom and have sex where at one point sabo calls ace his princess and ace gets embarrassingly aroused by that and sabo is like "oh so you like being my little princess" and ace is vehemently trying to deny it. anyway sabo fucks ace until he passes out and when ace wakes up he finds himself clean and tucked in and pleasantly sore and sabo is gone along with everything of value. he also leaves a note saying "Thanks for the free stuff my little princess!" and ace is just standing there like blushing bright red over the nickname and he doesnt even care about being robbed. he also curses himself for never asking the guys name

HAHDGAHEHD okay Imagine Ace being Gay but only for Men who are in Drag

Like even if Sabo approached dressed to nines in masc clothing it would be immensely funny if he had SUCH A NICHE interest that unwittingly Sabo actually met all of his standards in one fell swoop

And being addressed as Sabos Princess!!! One of my fave tropes…

Hehehe he’s the dashing prince who gets folded beneath a man in a pretty dress

Based takes anon 💕

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

An AU where Garp isn't as understanding and they still couldn't find Buggy's body

-Garp is pretty determined to get his grandson back in the show and while I love it, him suddenly coming to terms with Luffy being a pirate mid fight is probably the weakest aspect of the show. So I have an idea for how it could've gone.

-Garp is determined to "save" his grandson from being a pirate and easily beats him in a fight and brings him back to the marine base with him.

-After everything they've been through together, the Strawhats find themselves on a mission to save their captain. With a small hitch.

"Hey morons! You forget I'm still here?"

-Buggy's body wasn't with Arlong. Well, the hands and feet were. Everything else was scattered across the seas with the surviving members of Arlong's crew who managed to escape and he is *not* happy about this.

-Given the fact he's tiny and can actually move on his own, he'd be very helpful on this kind of mission and they promise to help get him the rest of the body back if he helps them save Luffy.

-Zoro feels guilty for not being able to protect his captain and blames himself for allowing himself to get injured. The usually stoic swordsman accidentally reveals this to the literally talking head that is Buggy, who has a few things to add.

"Gay."

"What?"

"You're so obviously gay for rubber band boy and yet still so oblivious about it to a degree it almost hurts."

-Even if the clown was right, Zoro vehemently denies he isn't, that's besides the point as the strawhats + Buggy focus on getting Luffy back and then maybe dealing with their feelings later.

[moraymiso]

one bsd opinion you will absolutely defend with your LIFE?

mmm i have SO many but i feel like talking abt this one atm. it kinda turned into more of a pet peeve rant as i went along, dw, i will share plenty of die-hard takes for whoever u are anon…

strap in, this is a longer one 😭

i’ve seen this especially on reddit— skk antis getting their panties in a twist every time dazai is jokingly called gay, or when anything about the skk ship is mentioned. it happens EVERYWHERE for sure, but it’s… crazy over on reddit.

and you’re totally allowed to be annoyed when that’s all people boil him down to, you’re totally allowed to dislike mischaracterization, you’re totally allowed to hate a ship! but GODDD it specifically grinds my gears when people aren’t even giving worthwhile critiques and instead just try to insist “dazai is straight!”. there’s actually a very highly upvoted post on reddit compiling “evidence” of dazai being straight. it’s definitely not a well-meaning post, it’s absurd, and i wish i was kidding ;; i’ve seen SO many people go “he likes women, cuz this this and this! he’s straight!”

like…. y’all. addressing the elephant in the room: BISEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST?? i’m not even bi and it pisses me off that people seem to just ignore that there’s more on the table than just gay and straight. OBVIOUSLY dazai likes women. nobody is denying this?? why are you losing your marbles over there buddy?

BUT ON TOP OF THAT, it is heavily implied in his own works that the irl osamu dazai was bisexual, primarily describing his experience having a crush on a boy his age when he was teenager. obviously these characters in BSD are not 1 to 1 copies, but it feels massively disrespectful to the real author (who lived at a time where being open about his orientation was downright DANGEROUS) to immediately and vehemently insist that dazai is straight because he likes women.

personally, i believe dazai is meant to be coded or insinuated as bisexual in the series due to a number of reasons i’ll probably get into on a later date (not rlly related to ships btw!)— not everyone agrees, and that’s fine! you’re totally allowed to think he’s straight, dislike his ships, dislike when people oversimplify him etc, but it just drives me crazy when people get MEAN about it and go to insane lengths to try and have some weird gotcha moment every time someone mentions a ship or makes a joke.

tldr: chill out with ships and headcanons guys, please, it is never that deep. when we call dazai gay, or call bsd a gay series, we are not being serious. and i love bi dazai!!

remember: neither of these things are confirmed. you’re headcanoning that he’s straight as much as we’re headcanoning that he’s bisexual.

[lyledebeast]

There's no day like Bisexual Visibility Day to write about my favorite closeted bisexual and the numerous ways he hides behind his children. Of course, I'm talking about Benjamin Martin from The Patriot, but there is possibly a bit of this going on with his oldest son as well.

There are two kinds of eroticism in this film: a heterosexual one oriented wholly towards creating a family and bloodlust, which intriguingly only happens between men. Benjamin and Gabriel would, if asked, vehemently deny that there is any "lust" of any kind involved in their attacks on British soldiers, that all they have in mind is saving or avenging their family members. This interpretation, on Benjamin's part, overlooks that Gabriel is already safe when he is splattering himself with another man's bodily fluids while screaming primally in the woods. On Gabriel's part, it ignores that the visual parallel director Roland Emmerich creates is clearly between Tavington and the nameless British soldier Benjamin rapes kills, not between Tavington and Anne. The dragoons are gathered around campfires when the militiamen surprise them; setting Tavington on fire instead of butchering him with a hunting knife is clearly an option, just not the one Gabriel chooses.

The Patriot does not give us much in terms of historical accuracy to be sure, but by god does it provide extremely anemic heterosexual intimacy and extremely virile violence. The idea of Anne and Gabriel kissing is so racy it can only happen offscreen. The prelude to Charlotte and Benjamin's only onscreen kiss is her sighing "Very well" and looking at him expectantly. How this is going to escalate into child-making is hard to imagine. But the way Tavington and Benjamin leer at each other before charging on foot on the battlefield? The way Gabriel slowly withdraws his knife from Bordon's body and stalks towards Tavington with it as ti drips the other man's blood?🔥🔥🔥

There are two factors that contribute to this odd juxtaposition of sexuality and violence. One is that, in typical American fashion, The Patriot presents the idea of husbands and wives who have multiple children together fucking as taboo while absolutely glorying in graphic war violence. At the same time, Tavington is not just hot because he's immodestly dressed in two short scenes. He's hot because he's a vibrant, memorable character. The audience is going to feel some kind of way about him, even if that feeling amounts to wanting him to die a painful death. His bare skin is not only jarringly unexpected but jarringly sexual in contrast to the tepid romance scenes. The same goes for his adversaries in the film. Benjamin has more screentime with Charlotte than with Tavington, but she clearly exists for him mostly as a place to stash his children, those already born and those he'll have in the future. A prop is not sexy, not matter how much bare arm and cleavage is on display. Much stronger feelings, and more compulsion to act, are evident on both sides in Martin and Tavington's scenes, even if that desire is laced with a fair amount of hatred. Charlotte gives Martin children, but Tavington gives him satisfaction.

To recap, violence between men is sexy; sex between men and women is insipid. Tell me the director is gay without telling me the director is gay.

[blu3berrydraws]

Zukka AU where they're stuck somewhere together (during like late book 2) in like a fire nation prison together and they're both just denying their feelings for each other the entire time. Sokka having thoughts like "I wan't to kiss him" every few minutes and then writing it off as 'oddly pleasant reoccurring intrusive thoughts" to the point where he doesn't even really believe it at this point, because he knows if it was intrusive thoughts he wouldn't feel such deep desire to act on the thoughts. Zuko falling for Sokka but thinking Sokka hates him, thinking Sokka's judging him whenever Zuko catches him staring. What do you think?

--- Ohoohoh i like that idea ! Kind of a prolonged 'stuck underground in ba sing se' situation Zuko and Katara had going on, where they get to actually get to know one another beyond 'we are on opposite sides of this war'.

Bonus points if Sokka is still in his 'vehemently insists he only likes girls' stage. And PERSONALLy I would think that the actual romance blossoms after the gaang breaks Sokka out of prison and ( as a fun parallel to Sokka 1000% being okay with leaving Zuko for dead at the north pole ) Sokka insists they have to bring Zuko. In prison it is just... gay panic after gay panic with both of them being extremely clueless and oblivious. With the 'oh my god our hands touched!' kind of innocence hah. Cue the canon kind of progression post-prison of the gaang learning to trust Zuko. And Sokka continues to have bisexual panic. Totally writes it off as 'prison does weird things to a man' type of thing.

Zuko of course is pretty much fully aware he likes boys the entire time, and Sokka is... Not as big of an idiot as he always assumed, and actually.. Really handsome up close, and.. wow those are some inappropriate thoughts to have about one of the pivotal members of the opposition.... Cue much much much much pining.

[alarrytale]

Shawn felt uncomfortable that people were speculating about his sexuality, because he was bullied his whole childhood for being feminine. He has multiple time supported LBQTH community, but has said that isn’t part of it. All of his actually partners got huge amount of hate. How would you feel like if people were hating on your partner (someone you love) and claimed you don’t love them or aren’t attracted to them. Do you realize how offensive that is?

Hi, anon!

Being young and being bullied for being feminine and having the word "gay" being thrown at you as a derogatory remark is awful. Especially if you're queer or questioning. It can make you insecure and can lead to internalised homophobia.

If he is straight it wouldn't impact him anymore when he turned successful and had girls throwing themselves at him. He'd gain confidence with female attention and sexual experience. He'd grow to learn that there is nothing wrong with being gay, he's just not, and know that protesting it too much would make him seem homophobic. He'd also learn that his sexuality being questioned could lead to interest from large target groups he'd otherwise as a straight man not have access to. Showing yourself to be lgbt+ supportive as a straight man is progressive and lauded by his target groups. There would be no reason to still prove you're straight and lashing out at the ones who speculate, and say you're hurt by the speculation.

Now, if he's not straight and the bullying has in any way impacted him, i'd expect to see him try to act straight and distance himself from things that will fuel the speculation. Someone who is suffering from internalised homophobia would lash out at the speculation like he did, but they wouldn't simultaniously drape themselves in rainbow flags and say things like men should wear crop tops because they look good in them. They'd certainly not get a "good boy" tattoo. A confident straight person would and a confident queer person would. Someone who is not straight and is queercoding like Shawn is, is confident in their sexuality. The only reason for him to vehemently deny it is if he's closeted. Someone closeted, and who is queercoding, lgbt+ supportive, and presenting feminine would need a beard to stay closeted and to curtail speculation about him being queer.

There is no smoke without fire. There is a reason why people speculate. It's not just down to him acting feminine and it's not something people do to hurt him. Because there is nothing wrong with being gay. I'd argue it makes you more interesting and sets you apart.

With Shawn everything is pointing at him being gay. Despite him saying he's uncomfortable with the speculation, his behaviour shows the opposite. I see someone who's known he's gay from a young age and who wants to be himself, but is under a label who wants to make him into a heartthrob who women throws themselves after. Much like Harry. His closeting has taken a toll on him mentally, because he wants to live his truth and be accepted for who he is, and he's stuggling with playing straight.

I want you to think about what you see when you look at Shawn. Can you honestly say that you don’t see it? There is nothing at all that makes you question him? Also think about the reasons why you're on my blog defending him from gay speculation. Do you want him to be himself and happy first and foremost or do you want him to keep fulfilling your own fantasy? Even if his attempt at doing so is making him deeply unhappy? I know it's hard to wake up and realise your idol is not who you thought he was. But before you double down in my inbox, take a look at all the information out there before you confidently say he's not queer.

[lurkerbehaviors]

delusion time

I think tubbos nonbinary. Or at least has thought about it and it vehemently ignoring it. 

Theres alot of reasons why i think so and all of those reasons run along the line of mostly speculation (as is the nature of this subtwt) and personal opinions and accounts so i could be major projecting rn so take it with a grain of salt. 

3 things that come to mind is 1. I can't stop thinking about the strawberry dress thing!!!! But it's not JUST about the dress. He was 16-19 at the time (i believe) so it makes sense why he didn't go through with wearing it. The large audience he had around that time well surpass the viewership he has currently. The pressure to perform “correctly” and the anxiety of having so many eyes on you make self-expression stifling. It comes to mind an incident where he had “They/Them” as his pronouns in his discord server and it was like the whole twt blew up! 

Everyone was talking about it without bringing it up directly to him. We all know he lurks so he def saw it. Back then also, people were so stuck in being “progressive” and “Politically correct” that they might have created an environment or at least in his eyes a response where if he WERE to come out it would be negative or attract much attention which he already has issues with. He came out saying it was an accident later. Which is believable! 

It makes you think he shied away from his desires to try "feminine" things or question his sexuality or gender because of harsh scrutiny from the internet. 

Another thing, we know he has body issues that most likely stem from his days as a trampolist which got worse with the whole “Chubbo” thing. That still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. He still comments about how much he eats and his diet and all those things. So we know its not a total stretch to say the internet influenced him. 

Second, this drunk tvbathon night in particular comes to mind when I think about this. https://youtu.be/0ezYI_WcP-k?si=9JE3iJh8KGtuhpd2&t=13427

“He asks ch4r how it feels to be enby and how they knew. Now this could just be a curious question, nothing serious, but I'm not sure it wasn't with how quickly Lexie pulled him from that brand of convo looking almost worried and acutely aware of the camera. When Ch4r said "You're just a cis het man" he rebutted quickly saying he wasn't but not clarifying that he was gay, rather deciding on leaving it ambiguous. That struck me as odd but again, tubs is kinda like that too and he was DRUNK so his forgetting wasn't totally off the table. 

Now I'm of the mind that tubbo is autistic. so it could also be that he doesn't particularly feel "like a man" or a "woman" because of it. Now before we get up in arms, studies are showing a higher chance of ppl with Autism having gender dysphoria! Tubbo denies being autistic or neuro like the plague but cmon, dosent take a genius to identify a rock. 

The last thing that strikes me as odd is the fact most of his ex-partners or crushes are in some way, trans. Like its one thing to have maybe 1-2 partners to be trans. Not a problem, merely a coincidence!

But most if not ALL  OF THEM??? Ranboo, piso, that ginger guy everyone was freaking out about, strangely feminine bartender at the aforementioned bar, Ash???? 

Yeah, he had crushes on other types of people but almost 9/10 times the person he actually pursues/dates is trans. Fork found in a kitchen situation if you ask me. I also wanna add you naturally gravitate toward people with similar experiences as you. 

So yeah I could be massively projecting and that's fine but I'm not so sure I am. Just a thought that's been on my mind.