#and usually I'd keep my response to this kind of stuff more private

[ceaseless-rambler]

Look, am I scared of this being a thing that the right rallies around? Yes. Am I scared that "retaliatory" hate crimes will go up? Also yes. Am I still going to laugh at yhe tumblr posts abiut it? What fucking else can I do

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about not feeling praised enough? Over dumb D&D shit?

Background - I (20s F) live with my boyfriend (30s M) and things are usually great. He's always been supportive, emotionally intelligent and caring and we've had no major problems. We met via D&D several years ago so it's pretty important to both of us, and I'm a DM. Before we met, he was involved in a years-long campaign with some friends and is generally more experienced in D&D than me (I've been DMing around 5 years, he's probably closer to 10).

The current campaign that I'm running is something I'm really proud of. It's a mid-length campaign and I made the story myself (I typically plan mine to be 6-8ish months to avoid things fizzling out) and I've tried really hard to step up my writing and story planning for this one.

I've put in a LOT of extra time and effort and have been holding myself to a much higher standard than I usually do. As a DM I get self-conscious over how much time people are spending with me each week, and I want to make sure it's REALLY worthwhile. And because my boyfriend is more experienced in D&D than me, I've been looking to him for feedback and/or praise, as it would mean a lot to me coming from him.

And I've been getting close to nothing. At the end of each session he immediately falls asleep and doesn't talk about it at all. It makes me feel like I'm keeping him up/boring him. So I started asking him things like "hey what did you think about how I handled X" and he'll give a brief response like "yeah it was great" without explaining anything.

He didn't even give much thought into the character he's playing either - for his old campaign he created a HUGE story for his character, background, goals, etc. I know for a fact he's an incredible creative writer and could have come up with something wonderful for this. But he didn't put down anything other than basic character sheet stuff. When I asked him about it, he says he only goes deep into character when it's "long campaigns like my old one" and "too bad a long campaign like that will never happen again. That's D&D at it's best but now we're all adults, and we're too busy to ever do that, half my friends have kids, it'll never happen again and it's so sad" etc etc.

It made me feel like shit - like anything I try to do is a waste of time and pointless compared to this legendary "old campaign". Like it's barely worth staying awake for, like it's some kind of chore he has to sit through every week just because I'm his girlfriend and he's just humoring me.

The other players have been EXTREMELY enthusiastic and supportive - they send me art they make based on the campaign after every session and have contacted me privately to compliment me on certain aspects of the campaign. I want to make it clear that this is NOT something I EXPECT, but moreso I just really really love and appreciate that they do this for me, especially while my boyfriend is kind of leaving a void where I'd want this kind of praise.

Full transparency, one of my worst fears is forcing people to play along with something that I am passionate about, but bores them to tears. I never want to make a big deal over something that means a lot to ME but doesn't mean that much to someone else. So maybe I should just let this go because, at the end of the day, it's just a game? And taking it so seriously makes me an asshole and I should touch grass? I feel like potentially starting a fight over stupid nerd stuff would be pointless on my end. But at the same time, the more we play the more I feel deflated and I really hate feeling that way. I'm not sure what to do tbh.

What are these acronyms?

[not-poignant]

You have a very broad readership; do you still, like most ao3 writers, use writing as a way to make friends? If so, how do you manage both to make connections and keep from uncomfortable parasocial engagements?

(admitting: I like your work a lot, I have a similar interest in writing trauma and recovery, I would like to befriend you, but I don't want to bother you bc lots of people want to be friend with writers they like and there's no way you'd have energy for all of them!)

Hi hi anon,

So...this response might be disappointing, but I didn't use fanfiction writing as a way of making friends. That's not why I started, and it's never been the reason for me to be in fandom.

(Thoughts about friendship and stuff under the read more, it's pretty personal so no obligation to read. The TL;DR is I am bad at friendship and I also am not like 'most AO3 writers' (is that really why most AO3 writers write?) in the sense that I never wrote fanfiction as a way to make friends and it's very weird to me sometimes that people actually do this as a motive).

When I turned up in fandom, it was a very private experience for me. I didn't know anyone else locally who shared the same fandom/s I do. When I shared fanfiction on Livejournal, I did so to complete strangers who I never got to know better, or to people who were already friends through other interests.

I've never gone to fandom conventions (there's few here, and I have severe social anxiety. By the time I thought about going I was in my late 30s, and just felt like I'd be too much of an outsider even among fellow outsiders - again, I shared almost no fandoms or ships with anyone I knew locally, and no one I'm friends with / know in person reads my fanfiction). Fandom was always an incredibly isolated experience for me.

When I joined AO3, it wasn't with a view to making friends. I was extremely burnt out, I'd quit my previous job as a professional artist because I couldn't see a way of making the income work out, and I just wanted to write a very angst-filled story that would help me deal with my loneliness which I didn't see as something that would ever change. Writing about a character who's experienced centuries of loneliness was like 'cool, yeah, I'm gonna write about him.'

I did end up making friends, but it was kind of by accident! And not all of those experiences were positive. One person in particular became quite toxic and cruel towards me, and I experienced my first kind of encounter with...I guess what I would call the uglier side of fandom life and also just friendship and relationships. It took me a long time to recover from that experience (and to learn what emotional abuse is), and after that I shut down and stopped kind of making friends on the internet.

I have made friends through the writing since (they're usually the mutuals I also have on Instagram, or here, or people I've DMed in Discord etc.), but I haven't really sought it out actively and I think anyone who knows me well enough that we've private messaged a few times, also knows that I'm quite aloof and reserved, and that I will engage quite deeply sometimes but then disappear for a few months (or years) re: communication, which is a remnant of a period of time where I used to get sometimes 200 Whatsapp messages in 5 minutes from someone who expected me to be accountable to her every second of every day when she was awake and wanted me to be.

On top of like, severe social anxiety + PTSD, and being very reserved in general, I would also say I'm very time poor. I don't have much time for the friends I already have and care about. I often view myself as quite a poor friend, who is not good at starting and even worse at maintaining connections. I'm also very private. As in, I will happily tell the world I have PTSD. But I won't tell my friends in a private conversation when I'm having a bad night, and I don't give friends many opportunities to connect. Even with really close friends, this is an ongoing issue that I'm working on.

So as for befriending, that's extremely sweet of you anon, but who I am in my personal life is sometimes very different to like... the way I can respond in comments or to anons, because it's actually easier for me to talk to strangers sometimes than it is for me to talk to friends, lol. I honestly think some of the people I consider my friends don't even know that I do, because I don't really behave like one. I chat online regularly to one person only, and one other person intermittently (and they're a romantic partner) and that's it. Everyone else I chat to pretty rarely in DM. But I do turn up in the Fae Tales Discord every day.

I don't actually think lots of people want to be my friend, tbh? Not in a 'woe is me' way, but simply because I think some people do grok that kind of... polite distance or that sort of warm 'I care for a lot of people but I am also quite personally walled off' kind of way. The good news is a lot of the folks in the Fae Tales Discord also share a lot of interest in writing trauma and recovery, or have those experiences, and I know a lot of good friends have been made within the like...faedom itself. A lot of neurodivergent, trauma-focused folks have met each other through this writing, and it's really cool seeing the different friendships that have sparked up between people. There's a lot of extremely like... skilled, talented, interesting people that I've met through this job, who I admire, respect and want the best for, and am very happy to talk to.

But yeah I'm a bit difficult to befriend, anon, and that's been an ongoing thing all my life, tbh. But it did specifically get worse in fandom because of some early fandom experiences when I started out in Rise of the Guardians fanfiction.

[xxk3vonicaxx]

... Here we go againn

So Blurry made a doc about me and posted it through a friend of his aandd... Oh boy is it somethingg, it's basically full of already resolved issues (only showing what I did to him and not what he did to mee), out of context screenshotss (as usuall), aand just blatant liess. He tried to claim I was his "abuser" as well 'cause I had held him accountable for his behaviorr (Whichh... Is absolutely crazyy, buut okk)

The only good thing about this was that Blurry referenced my special interest in the titlee, like yess, thank youu✨

Anywayy, onto discussing the docc:

First of alll, I never drew the art to "get back at him" or whateverr, like he so claimss, those aren't my words like he's claiming they aree, I never said I wanted to get back at himm, that's not what it waas:

It was for two reasonss, though the main one is the firstt:

It was meant as a warning for Blurry to try and stop stealing designs from my bestiee

Also I thought it would be a funny warningg (a jokee)

I've literally stated this several timess, how hard is it for someone to understandd? Not to mention I apologized for itt

Just 'cause something is a warning doesn't make it be out of revengee, Doing something as an act to warn someone not to do what they're doing isn't revengefull, don't know why he keeps trying to think it's out of revenge when it's nott

Likee, it's literally stated heree, by my bestiee, that it's a warningg. Neither of us would do this kind of thing to anyone elsee (unless you steal our designss/pass them off as your ownn, this is also a warning for those kind of peoplee), this was solely directed at Blurryy:

Alsoo, why are you calling nudity pornn? You show the dakimakura my bestie drew as one of your exampless, buut that's... Not pornn?

It's literally nudityy, why are you calling it porn when it's nott? What is your logicc?

Anywayy, continuing onn:

The "several userss" Blurry mentioned is his friend Cultc0ree (who has stolen 5 of my OCs aand has tried to slander my name beforee), aand his fans that contacted mee, who were either proshipperss, nsfw accounts that posted clopping (MLP Nsfww)/irl nsfww/yiff (furry nsfww), or bothh. One of which had reposted/supported bad dragonn, a zoophilic companyy... That kind of stuff makes me uncomfyy, of course I'd block those kind of people who post that stufff:

Due to the bad experiences I had with his fanss, I'm not in the furry fandom anymoree. I don't like drawing furries much unless it's my comfort characterr (more on that laterr). I still draw furries/anthro from time to timee, just not as much as I used tooo

Alsoo, Blurry fails to mention what happened after the callout post was madee, that being his father had threatened to dox me and a minor just 'cause I called him outt (shown heree and heree), aand he did nothing about itt, nor does he ever mention his own behavior towards mee

It's also ironic that Blurry says I stalk himm, when he's stalked both me and Mobcrit beforee. Blurry wouldn't know about this blog if he hadn't stalked my following on my alt accountt (which was privatee, my followingg, not my altt), as the blog isn't searchablee:

This is a blog made by the two authors of the Blurry docc, the blog isn't complete yett (as you can seee), buut it's a critique blog for Blurry's loree, like Mobcrit iss

Basicallyy, tumblr had a glitch that had marked your followers private for you in your settingss, buut had made them public on your profilee, aand that's how Blurry had found itt. It's not searchablee, he wouldn't have found it any other wayy

Anywayy, Blurry claims that me holding him accountable for his behavior (referring to my response post from the Blurry docc) is gaslighting according to himm, whichh... Holding someone accountable for their behavior isn't gaslightingg? Huhh??:

As welll, recentlyy, after Cags on Mobcrit posted an ask with someone saying people should rewrite Mob's FON loree, Blurry came into my DMs threatening su*cide and saying Cagney was attacking him 'cause the people on Mobcrit don't like his workk (He thinks I run Mobcrit when I'm just their archivistt, this has been stated multiple times on the blog itselff) ... He conveniently left this out of his docc:

What prompted that convoo, was that Blurry got mad that Cagney on Mobcrit proposed an idea to rewrite Mob's FON loree... Notice how I said MOB'S and not Blurry'ss, completely missing the meaning of the postt:

Cagney's talking about Mob's lore heree, not Blurry'ss. Blurry just can't understand that some people don't like his workk. You have to expect that kind of thing when you post your work so that people can see itt (Oh yeahh, he also calls that "bullyingg" sooo-)

Blurry had also accused me of gaslighting 'cause I had responded to a joke Cagney made (that Blurry gets no maidenss) by joking about it furtherr, whichh... The fact that you're getting upset over a stupid meme kind of confirms that at this pointt-

Anywayy, here was the response to the joke Cags made in questionn:

Aaand here was Blurry calling it gaslightingg:

Alsoo, he had lied to me about him not following NSFW accountss, aand I had called him out on it in that same convoo, as he was following Mob's NSFW account on twitter with his rebranded accountt, which he conveniently left out of his docc. He tried to lie and say that he had followed aand unfollowedd, buut that's a total liee, 'cause the screenshot shown was taken just before Mob deleted the account due to minors following itt:

Heree, he was acting like he was the main victimm, which he also left out of his docc:

Throughout this conversation there were multiple times in which Blurry was saying I was gaslighting himm... When I was holding him accountable for his behaviorr (aand noo, he hadn't apologized for making fun of my typing quirkk, he had lied in his "apologyy", as you guys already knoww:

Another thing to add onn, Blurry claimed I had "stolen an OC", when I actually hadn'tt:

(Notee, I was mad that Mob sold the original Deramu and other Sassy's Palace characters behind people's backss, lying to me that she said she wouldn't sell them at the timee. The new owner is a supporter/friend of Mob's and compared Mobcrit's critiques to school shooterss. This is also literally public infoo)

Also nooo, I never talked to him about this characterr, don't know where he got that fromm:

Mob had actually given me the OC during the recent chat she had with me when I got the rights to use the plants for Plantae backk (this is also public infoo, it's literally in the Mobcrit archivee), aand Mob had approved of the changes I had made to him after she gave him to mee:

Original design on the leftt, my redesign on the rightt, I liked it 'cause I thought it looked like my comfort characterr, hence the namee:

Anywayy, yeahh, that's not theftt, I literally got this OC for free along with my rights for the plantss. This is literally public infoo, I don't know why it was even mentioned in the doc in the first place since it has nothing to do with Blurry at alll

Mobcrit's probably gonna reblog this anywayy, buut there was some blatant lies that Blurry had said about them that just aren't truee (claiming the admins of Mobcrit were transphobic when in reality they were calling out people for their transphobia/using xenogenderss), also Blurry defends Mob in this specific part of the document as welll, mmm

[sugarschnaps]

Omg I love love love ocs!! What’s Nathanials personality? Was he originally a fandom oc? What’s his backstory? Gimme the detailssss

I could ramble for days, but I'll keep the timeline (however complex) short and simplified because otherwise I will literally break the website LMAO Nathaniel originated as a villain character. Before my days of slasher and horror hyperfixations, what a time period- He was like a really crappy written knockoff Johnny minus the cannibalism and some of the goofy energy? Point is, he used to be a villain purely because I didn't have one at the time. He was always, however, a rich pretty boy with an annoyingly good skill at anything science or medicine. He's got a lot going for him, he was also pretty arrogant abt it way back when. Nowadays he isn't super different, but he's also a completely different character if that makes sense? Agh Canon speaking for like today, he's still from a wealthy family, though he has two dads (birth ma transitioned) and sometimes gets a little hate for it, he's still pretty high up society wise. He's studying to become a doctor of some kind, more specifically hoping to get into neuroscience in some fashion, preferably a surgeon but he isn't going to be fussy on that. In the timeline that doesn't spoil the book I might someday write, he starts off just in like private school except its one of the rlly rlly fancy schmancy ones (the setting of the first part ig?? Sobbing its so hard not to spoil) He's still your local pretty boy with money on the side, but generally speaking he's sort of a group dad? Usually has most of his friends on a metaphorical child leash, and he's called "Dadgram" as a pun on his surname by his best friend. He's also responsible for several friendship group activities, including their Friday Game Night, which happens every week- There's no negotiating on that one. He'll help with snacks and stuff, but it's funny to him to watch his "idiot friends" (Why is that in quote marks they're all silly) ruin each others' friendships with Uno or what have you. Also also!! In his world people having superpowers (which in book terms get called anomalies) is kinda normal but they're usually sorta controlled, his is the ability to heal wounds, but the catch is that he has to use his saliva LMAO His birth dad figured it out when he was around six years old and he had a rlly nasty cut on his finger and yk when people like suck on the injuries and stuff?? Yeah he did that and it disappeared. I'd explain more about him, but I'd be spoiling the book and AGH I might write it idk???? But yeah hopefully some Nate facts will help :'D

You can totally dm me and ask more abt any of my ocs if you want, I'm starting inktober with the cast of that book anyway teehee :P

[vanillahub]

Name / Alias: Vani Are you over 18? Yes / No Is your muse(s) over 18? Yes / No / Depends on the muse & verse When was your blog established? This blog was created at the end of 2022 and start of 2023. That's when I moved here! REPOST, DON'T REBLOG!

– W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Life gets busy for me, I tend to also feel overwhelmed easily so I’d rather keep my circle small so I can provide everyone with a good RPing experience!

Are you selective about who you follow? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

Star wars’ lore is MASSIVE... As a result, I try to learn more about it through bits and pieces, I choose what I feel like will work best for my interpretations then fill in the gaps however I feel like. Pokemon's lore is very chill, easy to digest and fun to play around with! Even if there isn't much for many characters, but I still try to stick with the timeline of events that most fans agrees with. Saint Seiya's lore is what I'm currently learning more about! So far, it's kinda of chill like Pokemon's but it is fun to think of, like it is with SW's.

What post lengths do you write? One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned.

One-liners are only for crack/dash shenanigans. Shorter responses work best for Discord RPs. But on tumblr, I have a huge preference for lengthier threads.

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

I used to love using icons, I had tons of fun with both iconing and making borders for them. BUT I've dropped them in favor of banners. ATP I got too many muses, and it'd drive me MAD to make them for each one of them. My banners are meant to fill in the void left by icons, and this way it challenges me to put more effort on my writing.

Do you write on other platforms? No / Yes

Discord, mutuals are welcomed to ask for it <;3

What level of plots do you write? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned

I have a huge preference for plotted stuff. Knowing the course of events and my partner’s muse makes things a lot easier for me, and overall it is a lot more enjoyable to me.

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days)

It depends on the kind of thread & the size of it TBH. Usually speaking, I'm fast to get to RP responses, but I rely on my queue to deliver them. It helps me to space out RP responses, and manage the numbers of RP threads I have going. I can't stress enough how this method helps me SO MUCH, to prevent any form of burnouts. It may seem like I tend to respond faster to Discord rps, simply because the threads there tend to be shorter in size. But it is mainly due to the fact, there isn’t a queue system.

What types of themes do you like? Adventure / Romance / Fluff / ANGST / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / All of the aforementioned

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes

Gore can leave me feeling ill, graphic descriptions of injuries/blood/etc can cause me to feel nauseous. Overall it is something, I'd rather avoid reading altogether. I'm also uncomfortable writing adult/minor and incestuous relationships.

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged?

I have no triggers! But I would like that my mutuals tagged anything related to current world events/politics. I get how heated these subjects are to many people. However, I’m not an American, when I’m on my RP blogs I don’t want to see those things. Trust me, if I wanted to know more about it, I'd search for reputable sources of information. And not random blogs, that could be spreading misinformation or fear mongering, uninformed people. No one benefits from these types of situations. I've been in the RPC for many years, and this shit shouldn't be seen an acceptable way to behave online. Spoiler alert: You're not a grand savior, just bc you reblogged a post that had something to do, with whatever may be happening. Not everyone on Tumblr is from the US.

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to?

Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

It all depends on the chemistry, and IC development. I’m extremely picky about platonic/familial relationships, due to having some really awful experiences with it in the past.

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

See the answer above. So long as we have managed to come up with something that works well for both muses, it’s all good for me.

Do you have OTPs? No / Chemistry Only / Yes

I do! My ship bias lists can be found on my muses about docs/pages!

Do you have NOTPS? No / Yes

They can be found on my muses about sections/docs as "ships I refuse to romantically write". These can range either for my own comfort, to me straight up not liking them.

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

See their infos

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

See their infos

Are you comfortable writing smut? No / Selectively / Yes

I have a NSFW side blog just for that, even though I haven’t used it in ages LMAO. I just have been preferring to write NSFW stuff on discord lately. With that said though, not all of my muses are open for it.

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never

Man it just happens.

Are you open to toxic ships? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

With that said, I’m selective about who I’d write such subject. I personally, prefer doing this by myself. I’m not opposed to writing it with others, I just want to make sure nothing will be romanticized during the plotting/writing of such relationship. And due to a few bad apples in the past, I’ve become wary of giving others a shot at this.

Are you open to problematic ships?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Bruh, anything can be considered problematic in this day & age, let's go grab some juice instead. I have ships where, a good chunk of their respective fandoms have labelled them as "problematic". But then when you look at my writing, I'm not writing the "problematic" things the fandom claims them to be as. In the end of the day, my followers and mutuals are highly encourged to curate their stay. This includes, blacklisting to their hearts' content. I feel like we as online fandoms have devolved so much, to a point you will likely find a mfer claiming how shipping in itself is problematic. As well as how you must be ashamed, to enjoy pairing fictional characters in general. Anyway hit me with whatever you want, and I’ll be the judge of what I want to write or not.

Are you open to polyshipping? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

It depends on the muse you’re asking for. This is something that's more dependent on IC reasons, than OOC ones. Many of my muses wouldn't approve or be open, for a relationship like that.

Are you an exclusive shipper? Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it

No, absolutely not. I’ve never had any luck with exclusivity, and after many failed attempts. i’ve come to the conclusion, it just isn’t for me.

Does crack shipping ever happen? Nope / Yes / depends / altho they gradually become normal ships

Stares @ all of my ships and sweats.

[chaotichedonist]

Tharunka (Kensington, NSW : 1953 - 2010)

Wednesday 9 June 1976, page 14

   Some funny moments to tease you into reading:

Press: Roger, you're noted for your amazing screams.

Freddie: It's a controlled scream. I'd rather call it art.

/

Freddie: You're joking dear. I'm just a singer, dear.

/

It’s been a struggle, because in the beginning nobody knew what we were doing. We were the only people who believed in ourselves.

  back at the hotel sleazy

  For all those fans who were misled by the media, Queen did not spend a couple of days-relaxing on sunny Perth beaches - it rained the whole bloody time they were there. (In Melbourne the hotel was 'besiged' by fans, who to quote Pete Brown — Queen's personal manager — seemed to be emerging from the wood work). Not to be put off however, by the Australian conditions Freddie Mercury (lead vocals and keyboards) attended the press conference in white pants and a simply sumptuous summer synthetic top with delicate butterfly sleeves curling gently over his shoulders. He was even more beautiful than Sophia Loren.

  They were all quite chatty only Roger (Meadows-Taylor, the drummer) would keep interjecting, usually over John Deacon (bass) who said not an audible word.

Press: Would you describe your music as mock opera? 

Freddie: They call it cock-opera back home. 

Roger: I suppose because the vocals are in the 'grand style'. 

Press: When is your next album coming out? 

Freddie: We'll have a rest and think about it.. 

Roger: We just don't bung'em together. 

Brian: We don't sort of write sitting in hotel rooms you know. 

Freddie: We gather influences. 

Press: Your music has been described as snob rock. What do you think? 

Freddie: I couldn't describe our music as anything. We certainly don't put across that this it intelligent music that is on a completely differenrt level to the people who come to it. 

Roger: It's written for the people. That's what it's all about. 

Press: The theme of death recurs on your albums. Why this preoccupation?

Roger: Freddie's morbid mind.

Press to Freddie: Do you consider yourself a sex-symbol?

Freddie: You're joking dear. I'm just a singer, dear.

Press to Roger: Do you consider yourself a superstar? 

Roger: As meaningless, (blows kisses).

Roger on the media - absurd for a magazine combine rock and politics. 

Press: Roger, you're noted for your amazing screams. 

Freddie: It's a controlled scream. I'd rather call it art. 

Undauted by the fearless Australians they continued talking about their lyrics and the esoteric implication.

Roger: Freddie just loves the word 'Beelzebub'. 

Freddie: Yes, well, Brian's got a taste for unusual words. 

Roger: You talking about dandling on your knee and things? 

All four of them write songs and each has at least one song on 'A Night At The Opera'. 

Brian: It's very difficult to talk about our songs as a group because we all have different ideas of what the songs are about. 

Roger: No we don't. 

Freddie: Roger's the sensitive one. 'I'm in love with my car' is the most sensitive song on the album (Night At The Opera). 

Roger did tend to sit there pouting at the bows on his pink lame gym-boots. One hardly noticed the dark roots in this gold angelic hair. We did ask, but unfortunately Roger didn't have a pic of himself in the gymboots. Roger was later accosted by David Essex fans in the foyer of the hotel, who wished to know if he was a popstar, girls now have Roger's autograph. Back to the lyrics..

Freddie: Every song is written by one of us and means something special to each one of us. Certain songs have a very literal meaning and can be understood straight away. Then there are some songs that can be taken on a lot of different levels.

He describes a lot of his songs as fantasies. 'We want to consciously lose ourselves. There are certain things we want to escape from in our lives or whatever.' He feels that people should create their own private fantasies from the images in his songs and so doesn't like to talk about what they mean to him. 'I'd hate to shatter someone's illusion. If I listen to somebody's songs I conjure up a fantasy of what its about and I like to keep it that way.'

He elaborated further.. 'Lyrically it is helpful to use certain words. You see it depends.. sometimes I want to use words that are phonetically useful. In the beginning they're surface words but you entwine them into the meaning of a song. That's what I mean about different levels.' 

Brian May has a different approach to his songs, 'There's usually something serious behind them, but I feel a big responsibility not to over-indulge in idealogies. In 'White Queen' I was very interested in the significance of Queens and White Ladies in English folk lore. The song started off as a personal experience, the frustration of not being able to communicate, I was thinking about Robert Graves' ' White Goddess' and that became involved in the song.' 

Roger: Romantic slush.

Brian: Our 'Now I'm Here' song is really about our first American tour. A big experience for anybody. It's a conglomeration of all the experiences we had on that tour. We had a great time with Mott the Hoople. I suppose they taught us to be a touring band.

We're very critical about each other and very cynical. We don't get deeply into meanings because you're living with it all the time. You have to be a bit light-hearted about it.

With four individual writers the albums were not done with a specific concept in mind. The 'White Queen' was written four years before the 'Black Queen'.

Brian: I don’t think that Freddie’s 'Black Queen' was a reaction to the 'White Queen'. We just discovered that we had these songs and the rest of the album seemed to fit around it.

Freddie: It probably subconsciously coheres.

Similarly ‘A night At The Opera’ has no overall concept though the name of the album is related to Freddie’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.

As Brian puts it ‘We are four very different people with four very different directions, but there is a musical development that does make some kind of sense. Queen is very much an independent thing. We are always bouncing ideas off each other. We are very aware that we need each other.’

The rapport between them onstage bears out this statement. They work off each other in a carefully intergrated show thatt creates an atmosphere of spontaneity for the audience.

At the opening of their set there is a flash of fire and smoke as Queen emerge on stage. While music winds up they launch into ‘Orge Battle’. Like a Greek God or a simister Mephistopheles Freddie's powerful vocals cut through the smoke and flames. 

With the stage show the band is doing something different to stimulating their records. Brian: "You don't get up there and behave like you do in the street. You go up there to entertain people and give them some kind of excitement". They have rearranged some of their songs especially for stage performance, including a medley of 'Bohemian Rhapsody', 'Killer Queen', 'Black Queen' and 'Leyroy Brown', which grinds down into 'March of the Black Queen' and then skips out on a lighter note which features Brian on genuine Japanese ukalele. 

The brilliant solo Brian performs in 'Brighton Rock', with sweet high Paginini frills and harmonies, stimulating two or three guitars on stage, is in a style he has evolved himself. He got the idea the first time he was in a recording studio. Says Brian: "It was my first experience of doing multi-tracking. It happened to be in the cannon-things which repeat themselves. You play one, then you play the same over the top of it after a time interval. Later we started to do those things on stage but there was the problem of how to do it. We started having a single delay and then another one over the top of it. Then afterwards you do another repeat on the second. You can then do three part harmonies with yourself. We started to base it all on ten second solos and it grew and grew. There's a lot of other people doing it now and I'm glad because it’s a thing you can play around with.' 

In the stage arrangement of "Prophet's Song' Freddie uses a similar echo feedback system which multiplies his voice into a celestial choir. His voice floats as a vision - "Listen to the madman' - while Brian plays some beautiful guitar.

encore amore

Brian describes their encore performance as the time when the band really unwinds. "It's nice at the encore to just completely unbend and make a fool of yourself. It gets rid of the tension between the band and the audience. I used to get a kick out of going to concerts to see rock groups like the 'Who' and feeling involved, like the group knew you were there. WE go by the kinds of things we think people would like at an encore. It's at a very basic level really, an energy level, a physical level. Rock and Roll is kind of a body music. I get as much satisfaction out of basic rock'n'roll like Status Quo as the most sophisticated music I know.' 

The audience certainly enjoyed it and really let loose their energy. Roger (who claimed the most female screams) in rainbow mop-wig opened the encore with slow heavy rock-beat as Freddie did a dramatic entrance in a silk kimino. As he eased into 'Big Spender', he peeled off to striped hot pants for an outrageous version of 'Jailhouse Rock' - simple hard-driving rock'n'roll that had everybody out of their sets.

gettin' feelin' thru th' transistors

Brian was rather upset that the Australian Press should braiid them as a manufactured band. If 'Bohmeian ,hapsody' can be seen as incorporating the spectrum of s talent - mood changes, heavy stuff, the soft ballad - it is not because they (men of letters from universities) have developed a magic 'X' formula. Rather the song can be seen as a musical progression, a reworking of motifs off their other albums. 

Brian can only say that, 'They obviously didn't see us in the earlier days. I can understand why they'd say that over here. Big impact. Overnight success. It must have been all calculated. If you’d seen the way it happened in England, you wouldn’t think that. I’ve had years playing pubs in England where people were drinking beer and discussing what other people were doing and not listening to the music. I want to build up this thing where people do want to go to a concert. While it begins to look like the commercial side, it;s what it’s all about. I want knock it because I want people to come and hear what we do. 

It’s been a struggle, because in the beginning nobody knew what we were doing. We were the only people who believed in ourselves. We started playing because we had some kind of vision that we thought was worthwhile. For over a year and a half we were playing to ourselves. Gradually you gather people around who believe and that’s the way it happened.

Nobody is going to tell us to play what is commercial. What we play comes from us. We’re very lucky really in that we have a kind of audience who are attentive to whatever direction we choose to follow. One of us will come up with a song and we'll say, 'Yeah, it needs that kind of treatment and maybe that turns out to be something you call heavy and sometimes something which is light.' 

To get back to the charge that they are a manufactured band, while he doesn't like it, he can only take it as a compliment that they think the band is so good. He doesn't consider himself a technician "technically I've stayed the same for the last six or seven years. Progress is what you feel and what you are putting across. That's what playing is about for us.' 

Freddie: There's a lot of music there too.

Roger: A bit of music, yeah.

low key queen

By Anne Finnegan

Wednesday 9 June 1976

If you save, do not forget to leave a link to this, coz i kinda found it by myself and made and transcipt. Thanks :)

[13eyond13]

I'll try to keep it short because you're very kind but I'm becoming annoying... I actually like Soichiro. It's his morals I cannot stand. In fact, in line with his, I like Matsuda's and even Light's variations more, even with all the darkness they entail, because they're more critical. I adore L and find him relatable, but I'm not so sure if I'd like him as a person in real life, and yet I again like his morals more than Soichiro's. I still think Soichiro is generally a better person than any of the others. I still dislike his morals the most. When I say at the opposite end of Soichiro in the moral spectrum is where Near stands I'm not talking just about my personal liking, but as I interpret their views on morality. Maybe there's some detail of the manga I'm forgetting (I truly have to reread it), but Soichiro didn't seem very critical about... anything, while Near states something like "even if god came and told me this is good and this is bad and this is The Truth I'd still consider and come to my own conclusion". I like that. I care less about someone getting a moral with what I may consider a degree of grey if they do that. I myself have very strong morals that nonetheless have degrees of grey; strong doesn't mean pure. My grey and someone else's grey might be very different. But I've developed them, not accepted them blindly. Near of course, Mello, L, and even Light and Matsuda do this, but Soichiro generally doesn't. And I dislike that greatly. In fact, I think I'd find him kind in real life, and likeable, but I'd not really like him because I can't really bring myself to like someone like that even when they're kind and compassionate and good. I'm already talking more than I intended but I'll try to point out what bothers me of his attitude.

Soichiro is very very anti Kira, but he's working for a government with the death penalty and he doesn't seem to consider that even for a moment. For him, that the government does it is justifiable but monstrous if a person does it. He doesn't really have a justification, it's just like that because it's as it is. He's very against L's methods, buy L uses people who were going to die anyway at the very moment he uses them either way because of the death penalty, because of the government. From a government pov, if the government were to do what L does, it'd be something terrible. From an individual pov? Not so much. It's ugly, but it's beyond himself whether that people die or not, and his decisions are easily justifiable from an individual pov: they're going to die irrevocably, that very day at that very time, and he is using what he can to solve a very complicated case that is taking many lives, and he even might use the moral support of "I'm giving the prisoners the chance of choosing, with the potential reward of lifelong imprisonment instead of death". And again, while a government doing that is terrible, it's not as terrible for a person. L is a private detective, an individual. People can be fallible. Governments shouldn't. What L does might be justifiable, if ugly, for a person, but it would be unforgivable for the government to do. But the government lies on L and it's L who takes the slander of the rest of the Task Force. And that's what Soichiro doesn't see, and that's what bugs me. Soichiro sides with the government and the laws no matter what, no matter if they're terrible and are actually the cause if indirectly of the terrible things L is able to do (I'd have to reread to be completely comfortable affirming this, but Soichiro's attitude towards the government reminds me a bit of Mikami and Misa to some extent).

Soichiro hates Kira, and hates and criticises L's methods and his ruthlessness, but doesn't even consider for one moment the problem is not L. The problem is not the 24 yo boy/man, the problem is his government, that has the dead penalty and actually let's a private detective carry on with the investigation and do as he pleases (and I'm not even taking into consideration how L's upbringing and the lowkey if fun exploitation he was subrmited to have most probably influenced if not determined the way he acts in these cases, because while it's intriguing it'd feel like justifying L out of pity, and either way Soichiro doesn't know that; but I mention this because L's entire past at Wammy's, like the other children's, is another very terrible move from governments and adults in responsibility positions). The problem is Interpol, the governments in general, blatantly saying L is ruthless but not even setting rules when working with him. And I think it would actually have been very easy to stop L doing those things. Just change the rules of the game, tell him beforehand there are a few things he can't do. It's a game after all. Of course L would still exploit the moral and legal vacuums of the rules as he pleased, as one does when playing anything, but the government wouldn't have given him totally free way.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself very well. Years ago in a class I talked about the difference between personal vengeance and the death penalty. I feel this is similar. A person is fallible. A government should be able to stand over licit murder. L manipulating people to prove a point is ugly. A government doing that or letting someone free way to do whatever is terrible. L does whatever, and as an individual is not so horrible as it is that the governments internationally actually let him do whatever even knowing beforehand without setting rules. Soichiro sees this and it doesn't even cross his mind for a moment to criticise the government he's working with. Also, he considers his morals the best, which makes sense in a first person pov (why support x morals if you don't think they're the best? I'm not critisising this), but he's very... imposing about them, while as I say not being precisely the most critical thinker. That Soichiro is like this, morally (I'm not even talking about the policeman aspect though that's so often talked about in the fandom), makes a lot of sense to how Light ends up being Kira, and with how Matsuda thinks and acts. And I find that very intriguing, but I can't stand Soichiro's simplistic morals and his better-than-you attitude even though he's a generally good person. That's why I dislike his morals the most (of course you don't have to agree!). I don't stand by Near's morals either, but I like his "god could come and tell me and still I'd doubt" attitude. It's what makes gods mad in basically every mythology, but I love that kind of thought process. I'm very much like that too.

I'm so sorry this is so long. I tried to cut, but I got the impression it'd make it even less clear or more difficult to understand. Or maybe the lack of clarity lies precisely on how repetitive and long this is. I'd like to think English not being my first language has to do with this, but honestly the problem is most probably just me. I hope I made the point understandable enough, though. And thanks for your patience. I really liked that post of Near someone sent as an opinion and how you replied! Very interesting takes on both ends.

Hi again! You have some very thought-provoking points about it all, and don't worry, your English is excellent.

I loved Near's stance about these things as well, and that's something that really bothered me when growing up about some authority figures and institutions being really totalitarian and silencing of doubts or stances they deemed too negative or incorrect to voice aloud. I value having freedom of choice and the ability to think critically about everything immensely. Maybe it's because I went to a very strict and sheltering and weird little school as a child that tried very hard to indoctrinate me with a specific worldview, and always shamed and silenced anyone who disagreed or questioned them or felt like an outsider or wanted to have a different point of view. I remember relating the most to Matsuda on the task force when I first watched the show as a teen, because he was always speaking up with his devil's advocate questions or confusions. The way Soichiro and the others usually yell and scold and shame him for this bothered me a lot, because I wanted them to discuss things openly so I could see all the different sides of the arguments more clearly. Actually, I think this is a pretty culturally similar thing between Japan and Canada (where I am from). There's a strong emphasis on doing what's best for the entire group instead of just yourself, and being too controversial or outspoken or individualistic about certain things is often taboo and frowned upon as a big social faux pas. It's possibly quite a bit stronger pressure toward obedience and conformity and politeness in Japan in certain ways as well, but I don't know for sure as I haven't lived there myself.

I think Soichiro had a bit of nuance and flexibility with his morals and his stances in various instances throughout the plot, and to me he seemingly tries hard to see things from other angles during complicated moments in what must be one of the most difficult situations he could possibly face as both a police chief and a parent. But it's true he never seemed to doubt that upholding the laws already in place and the way his government punishes the convicted were the "correct" ways society should function. I think this series would be a really interesting one to discuss in a class that talks about stuff like justice and the death penalty and law and ethics and such for how many of these things it touches on in an entertaining and thought-provoking way!

[pantstomatch]

I love your writing, and (the cliche, it burns) one day I'd like to publish too. But a lot of things have changed since the last time I was confident in trying to do this, and I wondered if you would talk about the process (getting an agent, that sort of thing) if you're comfortable and have the time. It's also cool if you privately respond, if you'd prefer, I'm just trying to figure out how to get started again? And so many tips are "publish on Amazon!"

Thank you!!!! Okay, so here’s the thing. I’m probably not the best person to ask about this, because I’m actually really bad at being published, but I can tell you some stuff that I’ve learned? That might be helpful? I ended up being long-winded, so (if tumblr works right here) everything is under the cut...

1. Querying!

So in general, querying sucks balls. Like… it’s probably the worst thing you’ll ever have to do. You’re gonna want to research what agents are looking for the kind of stuff you want to write or have written. Some are looking for certain genres or what they think is marketable, and you want to send your query to someone who’s open to what you have, or it’s a waste. Most likely the agency website or the agents “I’m looking for…” page or whatever will give you specific instructions on what to include in your query email - how the subject should be written, what they’re looking for, how many pages of your manuscript they want to see, how to attach it to the email and in what form, and if they want a synopsis of your novel. Some agents use Query Manager, which is basically a form you fill out and attach all the things they want, and you can go back in and edit it and it’s a nice way to keep track of your query. Next, they’re gonna (hopefully; some just never respond) either say no thank you very politely, or ask you for the full manuscript. Most of these agents will also give you a general timeline for a response, and if they’re open to a nudge from you or not. After that, they’ll either say no to the full manuscript, or welcome you aboard!  

Most places allow you to send multiple queries out for the same work, meaning they’re not “exclusive,” except within their own agency. If they ask for a full manuscript, but before they get back to you, another agent has snapped you up, they’ll want you to let them know so they don’t waste their time on it. Occasionally, if they want to see your full manuscript, they’ll ask for you to not send the full manuscript to someone else until they’re done, or for you to tell them if someone else is looking at the full manuscript. You can also change your mind!  You can email them and let them know you’ve decided to pull the novel out of consideration, maybe if you think it needs more editing.

I have never successfully queried. I found the whole thing demoralizing, and I did my first contract on my own, without an agent. This is something I don’t recommend because I had to figure out a lot of confusing shit on my own that I still don’t fully understand. And it also made me doubt my writing after the fact, because agents don’t give a shit if you’re already published, they’re focused solely on whatever you’re presenting them with. And then after that, I figured if I got another book out of my current editor, would I want to present that to the people who already didn’t like my writing? I have an agent for another project I’m working on, and the only reason I have her is because someone introduced us and told her I desperately needed help.

1a. So you found the agent(s) you think you like!

Other than the instructions/guidelines written out by the agency/agents that you’re interested in, you’re gonna need the most complete and fully edited version of your novel in hand. If they ask for your full manuscript, you absolutely should not say it’s not done. Make sure it’s finished, and preferably edited, before you send your query in. If they ask for a synopsis, hard pass. Ha ha ha, just kidding. No, really, arguably, this is going to be the hardest thing to write. A synopsis will suck your soul out of your body and make you weep blood. The only thing worse than querying is writing a synopsis for that query. I have never written a synopsis that I didn’t think was utter shit. I hate them.

Querytracker is a cool place to look up agents that you want to query and see how responsive (and nice) they are. It took me a little bit to figure out the abbreviations, though.

2. Pick your genre carefully

Unless you are a best selling author, they are never ever ever going to let you change genres. I mean, maybe if you wrote under a different name. Maybe. But they’ve bought your book based on how they think it will sell, and they’re going to want to sell you, too, and genre jumping is usually a no-go. This is, basically, one of the biggest things I hate, and one of the greatest things I love about fanfiction, that I can write whatever the fuck I feel like writing. So, you know, make sure you really really really want to write about what your first book is going to be about, because you’re going to be writing about that forever.  And I don’t mean just YA vs New Adult vs Adult, although you need to take that into account too. I mean if you’re writing about high school regular kids, you probably can’t write about supernatural high school kids. You can’t write about high school kids in space. You can only write about regular high school kids. So.. think sci -fi vs fantasy vs historical vs contemporary, etc.

3. I hope you don’t hate people!

Do you want to go to a bookstore and talk in front of a crowd? Do you want to go to cons and network with other authors? Do you want to call up publications and volunteer for interviews? Do you want to talk about your books with strangers?  Because I sure don’t.  Publishing houses do the bare minimum of publicity for you for your book. First book, they’ll probably help set up some store signings. Going forward, if you weren’t proactive the first time around, they’re probably not going to do anything. If you’ve got some really good advance reviews, they’ll do ads. They’ll probably do the rote social media posts. But basically, you’re going to have to advocate for your book. You’re going to have to create your own brand. You’re going to have to make swag and send it out, call up bookstores, post constantly about it on twitter, buddy up to other authors, go places where you can network. And I will tell you that all of that is my nightmare. I don’t want to do any of that. I don’t like meeting new people. I had several panic attacks leading up my book signing, and the book signing itself was pretty bad. I’m just… not good with people. And, honestly, at my age, I don’t want to be any better. All it does is give me stress and hives, and to get over that I’d really really have to want to do it.

4. Personal perks?

Editors!  I’ve worked with two awesome editors, and it’s amazing having someone to tell you how to fix things in a way that makes sense. By far, one of the only perks of being published for me. I absolutely don’t know for sure, but I always got the feeling that they expected more push back from me with their suggestions, but nope. I was open to everything, and that’s probably why the books worked so well, because editors absolutely know what they’re doing and only want what’s best for the book.

Holding a solid book of my work!  Always awesome to hold that first book in your hands, with the beautiful cover work and everything. The fact that other people can read it and know it was me who wrote those words only counters that by about a half.  

Money! Advances vary drastically, but, listen, the money kind of made the panic attacks worth it. A little.

5. Advances and royalties

The things I’ve read about advances is that too little, and you might think they have less confidence in you, and too much and you’re panicking about selling, because if you don’t earn out your advance, there’s a chance they won’t want to invest in you in the future. Generally, the way they work is they offer you a contract with the amount they are willing to “advance” you. This is basically saying, we think this book will give us this amount of money, and this is your share of that amount of money. You earn this out with royalties. When you sign the contract, you will get a certain amount of money, usually half of your offered advance. When you deliver the finished manuscript, after your editor and you have gone over it and it’s been approved, you’ll get the other half. A two book deal would be split into 4 parts, and you’d get the first 2 parts for signing the contract (1/4th for each book), the next part for the first finished manuscript, and then the last part for the second finished manuscript, generally after the first book is already published. After that, you won’t see any money until your royalties reach the amount they already paid you in advance. Unless otherwise negotiated, you’d get a royalty check twice a year.  Your earnings from January to July would be sent to you in October, and your earnings for July to December would be sent to you in April. Since any books sold to bookstores and online stores can be returned to the publisher if unsold, they will usually “hold back” a certain amount at first, to make sure you’re really earning that royalty. Royalty statements themselves are a hot mess and I’ve never been able to read them, which is also a good reason to have an agent. An agent will get your money sent to them, make sure it’s the correct amount, take their cut, and then send you a check from them.

6. Self publishing

Okay, I know nothing about self publishing, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if you have the right support system (ie editors). If you’re going to have to do a lot of the marketing yourself anyway, I don’t see how this is much different. Biggest thing would be the upfront cost, and making sure you make that cost worth it.  Independent author S Usher Evans has some good advice for self publishing - Sush’s worked very hard at it, and started her own publishing company. Also, @qwanderer might be a good resource, I think they use Lulu, which is a really cool self publishing site.

Uhhhh, so that’s a lot of info and also not a lot of info, so please feel free to ask me anything else, and I really hope I haven’t made this harder for you to get started ha ha ha. I think the best thing to do is to figure out what you want to write and write it and just… go from there. If you really love what you have, someone else is going to love it, too.

And if anyone’s had a different experience or thinks I got something wrong or has more/better advice for @heyninja, let me know!

[rpbetter]

a vent (feel free to ignore if it's too much!): so recently i've noticed psd makers getting anon asks on whether they're ok with people who write certain topics (mostly rpf, incest, rape, underage, the usual "problematic" topics) using their recourses. now, i don't roleplay any of these subjects on tumblr, so even if a content creator said not to use their stuff, it's not even something i need to worry about - but, and maybe this is me overthinking it, what if i, someday, write a noncon fanfic on ao3? i'm still not using their resources on the subject or writing it on tumblr, but i'd probably feel weird about it, like i'm crossing some boundary. what if a psd maker whose content i've already purchased suddenly goes "actually don't use my psds if you rp abusive relationships", which is probably the closest to what people consider "taboo themes" of the things that i roleplay. it just feels like a fine line between personal boundaries and a shitty situation for a customer - not wanting to cross boundaries but already having PAID for something previously, when no such rules existed. it's making me want to 1. block everyone i see saying this, because even though i don't personally roleplay the topics above, i don't feel SAFE around people who tell others what kind of fiction they are allowed to enjoy and 2. just quit using people's resources and spend years learning to make my own psds so i won't have to worry about this shit. it's just stressing me out, as someone who has been harrassed and bullied online for speaking against censorship. i've had literal sock accounts made just to spew targetted harrassment at me on twitter. i've been accused of being a pedo and supporting incest and this is??? literally for saying "i don't think real people should be harrassed for fictional shit", i've not even shipped underage or incest ships. both make me uncomfortable. but fuck, antis make me 1000000x more uncomfortable than people who ship these kinda ships. i digress, this got rambley, i just. do you have any advice on what to do with the potential psd situation, or am i really just overthinking it? (always worried i accidentally send stuff like this off anon. help)

I need you to know that I actually had to rush-scroll back up and just double check that you did submit on anon lol! I always get worried I'll miss the one person who accidentally didn't use anon, if it makes you feel any better! When someone does submit with their URL attached, I message them first to be sure they are okay with them having it posted that way/it wasn't an accident ;) That's what I would want someone to do!

Alright, so, anyhow...

I've also noticed that becoming a more common thing and it's been on my (maybe huge) list of things to look into for a bit because I really do try to make sure I'm not just noticing things in my areas of the RPC/failing to notice things that do not impact me. Since I do all my edits and graphics, it falls into the first category for me. So, thank you for moving that up the list and informing me that it really is more prevalent and not my imagination!

My take on seeing it was a combination of business logic and anxiety, not going to lie.

On the first: charging to do a psd that is just that, just a psd file being used as a template/to act as an easier version of a photoshop "action" in a way, that's 100% legal and fine. Absolutely no muddy waters there. However, charging to do things like icons, edits, etc. that include images of celebrities and stills from movies (or gifs) is quite muddy. Legally, it's not legal. It's a thing we're allowed to do and use (on most platforms) because we're not making money off of it, we're not claiming to hold rights to the images, and so on - it's ignored but illegal. Charging money for it, however, even when phrased as "for my time" (which, absolutely valid feeling), is a more serious form of illegal and potentially attention-getting. This all gets more iffy though when we add donation instead of direct commission/purchase when working with these copyrighted materials. You can ask people to donate and suggest a donation based on your time spent, and that is always what I advise people to do.

Okay, so, that preface is necessary because the thing about stipulating use-rights is that they're iffy, too, there are variables present.

Often, these same people are charging for things like icon packs as well, meaning that even if they're only charging you for a template-style psd file sans imagery they don't own, they've kind of shot themselves in the foot. Not to mention, it's exceedingly damn hypocritical to pitch a fit about someone violating your rights when you're literally using other people's copyrighted materials lmao And that does tend to occur to me, yeah, it's a consequence of attorney friends and running businesses.

The other issues with this are that usage rights have to be stated at the time of purchase and morality clause-style shit, as pertains to products, is not legally binding.

When you purchase something like a psd file, that purchase acts as a sort of contract.

Think of like...buying a photoshop brush set - the person selling it puts very simple rules as to its use, such as: non-commercial use only, brush pack cannot be resold or distributed for free, separate brushes from the pack cannot be resold or distributed for free individually. Meaning that you own the brushes you bought, but you are not legally allowed to make real-life money from anything you use them in, and you cannot send the whole pack or files individually to friends for free or charge other people for them. By buying these, you have agreed to these stipulations of use and ownership.

If the person sells psd's and you agree to what they've stated about the use (you can't use them to do commissions you make IRL money from, you can't give them away to friends, etc.), that's binding even somewhere as casual as RP Land. The exchange of real currency makes it that serious.

However, there are limits to stipulations of use! One of those things is when you agreed - this person cannot, even one literal second, later change their terms of use and retroactively hold you to them. If they were okay with you not crediting them anywhere or using them in works you will gift others or charge others something like game currency for at the time you purchased, then that's it. Tough shit for them, not you, when they decide a month later that they want credit given where the work appears, that they do not want finished products gifted, or don't want you to make even in-game currency from them.

And that absolutely would apply to the morality wank, yes.

Except that this very morality wank comes with its own issues. Reality is not tumblr. In reality, at least in most instances and countries, you can't throw in a fucking morality clause regarding the buyer, use of item, or finished product.

Think of this in this way: Chik-Fil-A starts denying chicken and waffle fries to anyone suspected of being queer. They're legally allowed to run their business (as a private business, everything does have variables) with some things that are morally objectionable that they feel morally aligns with their religious beliefs. They're not allowed to deny queer workers a job or queer customers service, however, in accordance with overarching laws.

While "being gross" online in fiction is not like, making anyone a protected status person lol this is just an extreme example to drive home the point. Legally, when it comes to items/products be they digital or physical, your rights and responsibilities as the seller don't include your moral policing.

What your right is, is to make people uncomfortable to a degree, yeah. You absolutely can do that. You can state some nasty shit about prospective buyers you don't want. For example, they should (I mean, they should just grow up and get some real concerns, but) be stating that they would not like to see their psd's used by people on this following DNI list of idiocy, and they will block those users if possible to prevent interaction and purchase. That's really it, that's what they can do and the least immature way to proceed.

On the second: none of this logic would make me feel comfortable about interacting with them and their psd's in the future once they had outed themselves as morally objectionable and dangerous to me with this nonsense. And I would still feel anxious about using things I had previously bought because once harassed...it doesn't really go away, does it? It would just give me some ease about the latter with things I'd already made. Like, I could keep using the icons I'd made with those psd's with a little bit more comfort knowing that they honestly have not a leg to stand on outside of their harassment.

I might have the tendency to respond to harassment without much upset, but that doesn't mean I want to be harassed. Especially when I am not doing anything that draws that kind of attention. Not that harassment is warranted over anything, but when I make a PSA or answer an ask that I know is likely to get their attention and piss them off? That's an acceptable risk I am knowingly taking. When I'm just going about my life as a RPer, it isn't.

So, I don't feel like you're overthinking it or being too concerned! In no way did you sign up for getting unwanted attention, and because it has happened before, of course, you're trying to insulate yourself from having it happen again. That's totally reasonable!

Now, what you could do about it...

It's another of those situations in which we're only truly capable of controlling ourselves. Everyone else is kind of a NPC.

You don't have to do anything I'm suggesting, but these are things I would do!

I would block the shit out of anyone saying these things/trying to make them stipulations, yes.

By that, I mean that I would also visit blogs they appear to interact with and they'd be blocked as well. We can all reblog something like resources or a shit post from a user we do not agree with without realizing it, but when it's frequent reblogs, direct support, and friendly vibes going on, it's safer to assume that they are aware their friend sucks. More importantly, that they do not think their friend sucks and support their views.

Even if that is not the case, do you want someone else's repeated inattention to expose you to bad actors? Nope! So, don't run the risk of paying and otherwise interacting with the one resource blog in the group that doesn't express these views/"requirements," but does involve themselves with those who do.

Try to find people selling these resources, that are not connected to the problem ones, who do not have those views. Once a trend starts, it is very hard to stop until it has run its course naturally, so, this might be difficult and take some extreme effort. You might want to consider asking like-minded friends who use psd's where they got them so you can check those users out for yourself.

If they're all the same, problem, people...

Look for users well outside of your corner of the RPC(s) who are not asking to be paid. I know it sounds wild, but there really are RPers out there who just enjoy making things for others! I can think of at least one right off on my dash. They might not be advertising for doing psd's or psd packs, but either they might be willing to do so (especially if they do not appear policing-positive) if you explain what is going on, or they could at least fill some requests for you for fully made icons and such. Hell, people who love doing this work usually know others who do as well, and anti-policing people quite reasonably stick together. They could have suggestions for someone not vile selling psd's.

Depending on what it is you want your psd's to do, I promise you that it wouldn't take you very long to learn it. I know...I know lol that's both really easy for me say when I've been doing it for over twenty years and am about to piss some people off. The latter because the most common settings on popular psd's are extremely simple shit, a lot of that is the kind of thing you're expressly told not to do in design work. Like ramping up extreme contrast, pixelating the fuck out of an image, and turning up the primary colors only. Once you get to playing with photoshop or an equivalent, you will totally see what I mean. You can accidentally make an icon look identical to something that is on trend in the RPC. If that was what you were going for? You've hit the mark, and it's just repetition and tweaking it here and there!

Once you start playing with it, too, it's actually pretty intuitive when it comes to the basic things like resizing, adjusting colors and contrast, and doing easy effects like blurs and sharpening. Frankly, playing with it is better than half the tutorials you'll find because they get unnecessarily complicated when all you want to do is crop your muse's face, overlay some color, and add a damn dotted border. Listen, like I said, I have a lot of experience...and I find many tutorials frustrating and overwhelming!

It is not just you, you're not dumb or anything. People get very comfortable with something and when they try to explain it to others, they use terms and methods that are more advanced or specific to them than they realize. That's all!

If you have friends who make their own things, ask them some very basic questions about what you want to do. They know you, so, they'll know better how to explain to you, specifically. Just keep it simple until you've had some time to experiment! Ask things like, "I want to take this image, resize it to be an icon, and add an orange tint to the image while sharpening only my muse's features...how would I do that? Easy mode?"

And! You don't even have to pay for photoshop or pirate it anymore! Photopea is as an exact copy as possible entirely located in your browser for free. It's all overwhelming at first, a real case of too many options and ways to do the same thing, but the only way it gets less overwhelming is just diving into it. Dive in, get a little frustrated, have some successes, make some awesome discoveries, it gets a bit addicting in short order. Then, the tutorials and tips are so much easier to figure out and expand on, too.

If you'd like, you can always send me a pm here and ask me. I'm happy to try to explain how to do things, zero judgment or impatience. Just an additional option if you both decide to try learning and would feel comfortable doing that. Zero judgment as well on not wanting to do either of those things!

Okay, this one is much harder than learning PS basics because it's honestly a bit terrifying...the way these people are, they're going to take issue with you no matter what you do, and in the end, if they notice you and feel like bothering you, they will. There's literally nothing you can do about it. All you can do is try to buffer yourself, stay away from them, and be aware that you are not the problem.

Like with the AO3 thing or writing what could be viewed as toxic relationships. You can never write or be interested in a single, solitary thing that they're on about (and accusing you of doing in real life when the burning Eye of Moron turns your direction), but to them, you supporting the right of other people to do so is just as bad as doing it yourself. To them, the toxic relationships not only would be problematic, they'd be problematic enough. Being uncomfortable with their policing and feeling unsafe because of it is, to them, a red flag of how problematic you are. Writing anything they've deemed objectionable (or reading or viewing it, for that matter) anywhere, doesn't have to be on this platform or RP-adjacent, doesn't have to actually utilize any of their materials, is enough.

They're absolutely including you in who shouldn't use their shit. That's part of the "logic" and methodology of policing. Everyone is problematic, so, everyone can be labeled a pedo and harassed without too many people getting up in arms about it. No one is safe, so, everyone better behave. You don't actually have to be engaging with or enjoying things like underage, non/dubcon, rape, abusive relationships, etc.

It's gross, it's bullying, it's actually a problem...and there isn't much you can do.

All that is truly up to you is making an effort to avoid them, though, this is very often unfair and likely to get more unfair as resource blogs of all sorts deal in it more. At least, in this case, you do have some small bit of actionable power - by not ever buying from them. They wouldn't be charging if they did not either need or want the money, not giving it to them is a bigger hit than things like simply unfollowing/blocking, reblogging PSA's, and so on is!

Nope, it isn't like you're denying them some extreme amount of money by yourself, but every three, five, ten dollars is felt pretty hard when you desperately need money and/or are saving for something.

I know, I mean, I personally do know, that it's impossible to "get over" bullying, Anon. I'm in no way telling you to just get over it and move on, find some great well of not caring somewhere! What I'm saying is that there is power in not giving them power. The power to make you anxious, uncomfortable, unsafe, when you have every right to be here doing your thing and are not hurting anyone. And it might seem to be a deeply contrary sort of logic, but realizing and accepting that there are people out there who irrationally dislike you for literally no reason, that you cannot infallibly escape or avoid, despite doing nothing wrong is a bit empowering. Because it puts into perspective the things you can control, and when we know what is in our control, it's easier to just enjoy our time here without constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. If it drops, we can go put it back in the closet where it belongs.

It starts to put a positive spin on the whole, damned if I do, damned if I don't feeling, if that makes sense? I'm probably way too tired to try to be explaining this lol I'm sorry!

Anyway, again, I'm not implying you can or should do any, let alone all, of those suggestions! I just really hope that something will help you feel even a little bit more at ease. It's an unfair situation, it isn't right, and you have every reason to be uncomfortable and stressed. If I could make it happen, you better believe that every policing asshole out there would be writing heartfelt apology letters and sending donations to everyone they've upset lol but...since I can't make that happen, all I can do is say what I, personally, do, would do, or have done.

[obeymematches]

(Part 1) I only use Tumblr to lurk and I've never done an ask before, so I hope this comes through ok! You're an angel (devil?) for doing matchups, so I thought I'd humbly request one! I'm Nikki, and I'm an old lady by fandom standards. I grew up in the deep South US (NC and New Orleans), and lived in Italy for a while. I wanted to be a linguist when I was younger, and I still love learning foreign languages. I have a degree in French (cont in pt 2)

(part 2) and I'm now a lawyer, because academics don't pay the bills. I work with child abuse victims, which is rewarding. I love to travel, but I can't much because a) I got court to go to and b) I also love animals, and it's hard to find someone who will take care of dogs, guinea pigs, and reptiles all at once. I'm sarcastic, kind of flippant as a defense mechanism. I'm usually the funny friend, but I get sassy when I'm on the whiskey (cont in pt 3) (part 3!) I'm a big fan of nonfiction books, especially about science and history, and historical dramas on Netflix. I love Netflix and chill with my partner, but I am pretty independent, so I like spending time alone traveling, taking care of critters, or working out. My love language is acts of service, so I show I care by cleaning the house or running errands for my man/lady. (last part incoming!) (last part!) My partner needs to be independent, with a dark sense of humor, who doesn't mind me venting about the grisly and/or weird stuff I see at work. I do like a responsible guy, 'cause I don't wanna be your mama and your gf at the same time. He should also be accepting of weird backwoods southern-isms, like buying taxidermy, saying "bless your heart", and listening to Dolly Parton and Rebirth Brass Band. Thanks! I love your blog!

Hello love!

Thank you for sending in a request! awwwww i’m glad to be your first! 

I hope you like the result! 

Okay so lets’ see... I’m kind of torn between Lucifer and Barbatos. 

I decided to match you with Lucifer! 

So i’m going to keep it real with you, I think your southern upbringing would add to this relationship a lot. First I thought it’s super risky to do this but let’s go anyway. I mean I don’t really want to bring religion into this, but we all know their background in the game. 

Lucifer would be very wary with anyone coming from a highly religious area, but sooner or later he would learn about your own perspectives. (since you play the game I assumed you’re not the stereotype being an English major taught me)

It would take him quite some time to share his views with you in depth, honestly you have a better chance at getting anyone else to open up about their past than him. But I think once you get someone else to do it and now you already know briefly whats up, he would just tell you himself. After all he takes buliding a relationship seriously once he is truly interested in someone.

I think your academic career and the fact that you are a lawyer would impress him and after he learns this about you, his respect for you will grow. Which is very important when it comes to Lucifer.

Lucifer had quite a lot of centuries to pick up languages. Although he isn’t speaking them all either (i mean he is a demon how many languages would he really need), he sees the value of being a multilingual human. Just to test you, he would sometimes switch between them.

It is canon that he is supposed to be outgoing as well, were it not for his very limited amount of free time. So he definitely understands your struggles to get away, as he is the most responsible demon in the household. Once in a blue moon he would probably get to have a couple of days off with you though. I’m sure he knows people who’d take care of your animals for a few days. (probably not one of his brothers though.) 

He appreciates a sarcastic s/o as he can be a bit sarcastic as well. Your flippant nature will only turn him on, especially since you are also responsible so flippant attitudes coming from you hit differently. 

Drinking with him is something you probably wouldn’t be able to avoid. I’m sure he would enjoy your sassy nature, he is one of the best at handling that so don’t worry about conflicts.

 I’m sure he would be able to talk in detail about historical events as he was there when it was all written. So this would be a common topic of conversation! in a healthy relationship good conversations are a must, so you two got that down as well. None of you is bored! Also I don’t really see him reading fiction tbh, so you are on the same page. 

Netflix and chill is up on his priority list as well, so again no trouble on either side.  

Lucifer in canon can fall in love with whoever it happens with, but an independent partner makes his life easier. By this I mean that he is usually busy so his partner would be very disappointed if they expected him to entertain them for many hours a day. Sure, he does make time for you so you don’t feel neglected as he wants to be a good partner. At the end of the day he is in love. 

He would definitely appreciate your love language! He always needs a helping hand, although he is usually too full of pride to actually ask for help with big things. So basically you’d probably get to do the easy stuff. 

His love language is affection so hopefully you are prepared for lots of private times! 

Also love language is just something you have to talk about with him, I think for his beloved he is willing to do things he normally wouldn’t. like you need a new dress?? want to hold hands in public?? want some reassurement?? gotcha (ok with some of these he might struggle but he tries so we gotta give him that)

I think he fits into everything you described your wish for a partner. he is mature and respnsible, and don’t worry he has heard and seen some stuff your stories would be hard to compare. 

so he has his own sense of decoration and if you look into his room, some taxidermy is just fine... 👀

hmmm idk about “bless” in his case because of reasons mentioned above but thats a conversation he will have with you

 He is also very keen on music, so thats also a topic to discuss. he is probably more into classicals, but he just wants to learn more about his partner to be able to fully love and understand them. so if it means listening to Dolly Parton, then so be it. 

[thegoodhausfrau]

To be honest, I'd be more inclined to interact if you didn't come off as so stand offish and have so many rules just for talking. My blog is empty because I generally don't like using tumblr, but I do like to interact with some of the people I can only find here. When those people periodically tell everyone following them that they'll be blocked for having an empty page or whatever it kills all interest in anything other than sending the occasional anonymous ask about something specific.

To be honest, I’m thinking someone hasn’t read my Ask Me Tag because standoffish is not a word I’d use to describe TheGoodHausfrau. Distant, cold, and unfriendly? No.

I’m private as I have a whole life and the lives of others tangled up in mine outside of this blog.

I’m guarded (as anyone in my position should be) for my own personal safety.

I’m selective about who I allow to DM with me because my patience and the time in my day are not limitless resources. 

I hate DMs unless we are already friends. I’ve shared plenty examples of the gross stuff and nude pics I get sent here when my DMs are open. What I don’t share are the DMs I’ve been sent recently by “long time” followers who have been here long enough to see me say dozens of times NO MESSAGES. You know what they do? Make it seem like it’s my fault we aren’t already friends because they simply followed my page 11 months ago and said “hey, you’re sexy” and that’s it. Boring. My sex appeal and hotness are not conversations I’m interested in having. 

I’m cool with asks unless they’re rude but even then I publish them with a decent response, usually making them funny, for other people to enjoy. I share a lot here that could lead to decent conversation. I hate when I get these messages that make it clear you don’t know me, even a little, despite all my efforts to maintain boundaries but still be open.

If a blog is empty it’s because of three reasons generally-

You’re boring. You can post ANYTHING on your page. There isn’t a combination or single theme of favorite music, bad movie trailers, quotes, cake decorating fails, cat pics, food recipes to try, video game tips, comic art, or close up photos of acorns that you can think to post? 

You’re just here to jerk your corn cob. We all get off, so that’s cool. But those blogs have the annoying habit of just liking photos, all the photos, so their names flash on your screen for 3 solid minutes if you let them. Eff that.

You’re going to be the kind of creep blog that sends a lot of unwanted sexual messages/asks and dick pics. It’s the kind of blog that you aren’t sad to lose if you’re blocked and need to make another account to keep harassing your favorite nude girls on Tumblr.

If you aren’t one of those types, you should send an ask introducing yourself before you start commenting all over someone’s posts if they have a headline like mine that clearly lays out what not to be/do here. Have a page that has an icon pic of something they can associate with you, even if it’s just a close up pic of an acorn. Even if you post nothing else just have one text post introducing yourself and explaining your empty page. You need to be a person, not a blank page which for all we know could be a spambot account. In a sea of 6000 people who cares about blocking yet another blank page that is probably going to be a dud. Generally I set aside time to block pages once a week unless they’re an immediate problem. I give all the new followers a chance to reply on things, send asks, reblog or like some content just in case they’re new to Tumblr.

I’ll also add that if I come off as standoffish to some people that’s unintentional, but I won’t apologize for it. I don’t have many friends in the world and I’ve never been secretive about that. The few friends I do have I’m the very best friend I can be. If you can’t put in the effort to show me how enthusiastic you are about actually getting to know me, your username can wither and die here with the rest of them. 

[astrxlis-archive]

Hii Fox !!🥺This message may not be as bright as the usual since I am totally feeling unwell 😔;; i have just chosen to read your recent messages + reply to you :D I do hope you are sleeping well too?? It was afternoon in here when I was typing this. Around 5pm to be exact ✨ i think it's 5 or 6 am there so hopefully you're resting nicely.

I honestly don't mind the time spent in writing these messages because they are well spent at least~ 😂 About my meds, hm there's 3 new prescribed meds to me and the 2 are probably the cause of my dizziness yesterday(?) So i just took the 1 that is similar from what i was taking before. To answer your question, antidepressants and such meds will make you feel the side effects first around the week of your first intake to probably make your body get used to it!! (Maybe this stuff have been discussed in your classes too, i wonder 🤭🤔) I'm lowkey afraid to take the first 2 i mentioned since i really experienced dizziness that makes me unable to stand up and such 😰

I'll be sure to keep in mind about sending a request 🤭 i'm just pretty, pretty clueless about what kind of plot i should put in there ;;

Was also cracking up with your emoji demonstration of you holding your laughter,,, The intense inhale and exhale 😭😭 and let me tell you something: one time when our class attended mass at a local cathedral, i have this classmates that sit at my left side around 2-3 seats apart and they are tryna make each other laugh- and ofc since they're laughing i'm holding it IN so hard, especially at that part of the consecration at the Holy Eucharist where you all gotta kneel on both knees at the kneelers and position your hands at a praying/receiving position— i was totally doing the "😮💨😮💨😮💨" LIKE HEAVENS MY REPUTATION WOULD BE CRUMBLING TO DUST IMMEDIATELY IF I BURST OUT LAUGHING IN THE MIDST OF THE MASS. Totally one of the days i prayed so intensely like dear God don't let the demon inside me get out pls. 😭😰 My friend, which is closest to me by the left, was like 👁️👁️⁉️⁉️"U ok bro?" "Are u hyperventilating???" "Do you have asthma??" "Why are you breathing so loudly???????”..... I was holding on for my dear life inside the cathedral..... 😭😭😭

Also the "high praise omg omg 🙈🙈" i find it really?? Very cute??!?🥺 xD (in an adoration way rather than creepy way)— another one of the moments of just Fox being shy 👀 🤭

I'm actually feeling nice that you- 🥺 you😤 are v happy that im proud of u 🥰 🥳🎉 also so true about how weird the tags are in my previous message 🤭 the content is actually missing bc i haven't said much in that message so you don't also have smth to put @ tags! Since we're talking about tags, i actually very much appreciate your side comments???🥺 It was very nice and it invokes smth in me 😚 soo keep going with it im having fun reading those 🤭💞

Being an adult means lots of responsibilities, expectations and liabilities too— 💀 it kinda,, kinda be scarin me lowkey. Especially when befriending or being friends with minors too,,, I'm actually all fine with the asks for the story-length asks and casual stuff lmao 🥰 tho i'd prefer it to be @ dms if you have to talk abt something more personal or private w/ me- such as me helping you to reach out/ encouraging you 😂 or maybe you would like to ask for my thoughts about some fic drafts/ideas... Maybe brainrots are okay too if there are some,, 🤔✨ another one for the DMs is, let's say you'd like to surprise Dan with a gift 👀 and then you're comfy with talking about it with me 👌 since it have to be secret info in the first place. Asks are generally displayed for the public audience so i'm alright with dms if some info couldn't be disclosed publicly😚 basically more on planning stuff and info yet or should not be disclosed to the public!!

Also talking about stepping into adulthood or whatever it is called when you become 18— i basically have this friend who will be an adult this year and it's making me reflect a lot like i would have an adult friend close to me 🤔 i def can't take the information in like i'm still a minor til this year and they're gonna be an ADULT?? Like they are gonna be liable for crimes too,,, 😰 this is such a weird feeling ngl 😂😂

Ahaha,,, about me being a dry texter- this usually happens when me and the other party i'm chatting w/ isn't in the same vibes as i do?? Or it's simply just awkward... It's hard when the vibes of both parties clashes with each other or simply isn't just right. That's a sign that this certain person ain't someone meant for you (usually; this is taken in a generalized point of view). But maybe it'll be fun between us?? 😂 Idk,, i feel shy ngl (ฅωฅ♥)// how should i even talk to you 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Didn't realized I- made this ask quite long 💀 the reason why i put the "im feeling unwell 2day" @ the beginning is because i might ?? Just rant 😂 since yeah, apparently today's the deadline for the computation of the midterm grades and i'm totally f cked bc i have this... 10+ more... and i kinda sat down and apologized to the air + I'm feeling really bad from the side effects of the meds— 😔😔😔 so adieu my beloved grades </3 my parents love me too much even if i'm literally failing this semester bc i have to recover and i am struggling @ finals season too 😌 i havent done any thing yet. Just that one assignment i'm so happy that i completed 😤 and ahh, i saw your question asking abt my diagnosis- to put it simply the first meeting i was diagnosed w slight depression and the second meeting (this one i have mentioned!!) I've been diagnosed w inattentive adhd ( ･ิω･ิ ) i might as well just answer that question in here and so i did xD tho u could go check Ely's blog too since i have said a few things abt my condition there ?? :D i will take my time in replying to your previous (long) message ✨ i actually can't wait tbh?? But it will definitely be too long so— i gotta prepare for it.

Hope your day will go well!! 💞💞💞

— 🍰.

helloooo 🍰!!!!

addressing the request suggestion first: yep! i'm gonna do that later today when i get home from classes. thank you 💕💕 also if u could please check it to see if the link works when i do–

i actually got very little sleep 😮‍💨 if i didn't have class at 8am today i would've slept in. i was very tempted........ also, what are you feeling? is it the meds? 🥺🥺 i hope you feel better soon, but rest up ok???

ok, so... i'm not very good at pharmacology? but i've taken antidepressants before. and tried another med for my (correct) condition, so i know by experience those side effects. i hope they're temporary for you 🙏🙏

dude LFNDKSNAKNSKSNSKSNSKNSKSNSKSNS omg what IS it about churches and cathedrals?? i bet that if you couldn't hold it in there'd be an old lady (or more) to scold you right then and there 💀💀 good thing you managed tho dkdndksn also, is this the position??

i think me being shy is funny bc i'm a lot more open here than i am irl, so like– if it comes through this prominently i wonder what i look like to the people i interact with on the daily 👀🥲 also!! the tags are not stopping anytime soon, i'm glad you enjoy them 😂😂

dude, it does. but it also comes with a lot of freedoms!! so it balances out, i think. it all comes down to the head you have on your shoulders 😌 i'm more aware of this stuff now because of my past, too, so. feel free to just hmu man!! i'm pretty sure my dms are open 😂 idk if it makes you feel better about your friend, but from my friend group from high school i was the first to turn 18, so... i got teased a lot. istg on my birthday they told me "LOOK YOU CAN BE ARRESTED NOW" and i was like "please don't remind me i'm also now required to vOTE–". all in all it feels very weird 😂😂😂 please tease your friend a lot too 🤪

and omg that's so true. i guess it can make me a dry texter too? 🧐🧐 i don't force the whole ~vibing with another person~ thing, it's not worth it- but i guess ours is gonna be fun!! we have a nice conversation flow. and just say whatever is on your mind!! seriously don't think too much about it. just let me know you're you 😅

thank you for telling me!! i can't imagine what it's like to live with both depression and adhd, so good luck!! and please let me know if there's anything i can do to help you. i'm really grateful you have good parents who support you! 🥰 focus on recovering - school is literally always going to be there, and even if you don't pass now, you've focused on yourself and your health and there's nothing that compares to it!! 💕

i hope you're feeling better by the time you read this - take your time ok?? 💖💖