#very connected on a regular basis

[not-poignant]

You have a very broad readership; do you still, like most ao3 writers, use writing as a way to make friends? If so, how do you manage both to make connections and keep from uncomfortable parasocial engagements?

(admitting: I like your work a lot, I have a similar interest in writing trauma and recovery, I would like to befriend you, but I don't want to bother you bc lots of people want to be friend with writers they like and there's no way you'd have energy for all of them!)

Hi hi anon,

So...this response might be disappointing, but I didn't use fanfiction writing as a way of making friends. That's not why I started, and it's never been the reason for me to be in fandom.

(Thoughts about friendship and stuff under the read more, it's pretty personal so no obligation to read. The TL;DR is I am bad at friendship and I also am not like 'most AO3 writers' (is that really why most AO3 writers write?) in the sense that I never wrote fanfiction as a way to make friends and it's very weird to me sometimes that people actually do this as a motive).

When I turned up in fandom, it was a very private experience for me. I didn't know anyone else locally who shared the same fandom/s I do. When I shared fanfiction on Livejournal, I did so to complete strangers who I never got to know better, or to people who were already friends through other interests.

I've never gone to fandom conventions (there's few here, and I have severe social anxiety. By the time I thought about going I was in my late 30s, and just felt like I'd be too much of an outsider even among fellow outsiders - again, I shared almost no fandoms or ships with anyone I knew locally, and no one I'm friends with / know in person reads my fanfiction). Fandom was always an incredibly isolated experience for me.

When I joined AO3, it wasn't with a view to making friends. I was extremely burnt out, I'd quit my previous job as a professional artist because I couldn't see a way of making the income work out, and I just wanted to write a very angst-filled story that would help me deal with my loneliness which I didn't see as something that would ever change. Writing about a character who's experienced centuries of loneliness was like 'cool, yeah, I'm gonna write about him.'

I did end up making friends, but it was kind of by accident! And not all of those experiences were positive. One person in particular became quite toxic and cruel towards me, and I experienced my first kind of encounter with...I guess what I would call the uglier side of fandom life and also just friendship and relationships. It took me a long time to recover from that experience (and to learn what emotional abuse is), and after that I shut down and stopped kind of making friends on the internet.

I have made friends through the writing since (they're usually the mutuals I also have on Instagram, or here, or people I've DMed in Discord etc.), but I haven't really sought it out actively and I think anyone who knows me well enough that we've private messaged a few times, also knows that I'm quite aloof and reserved, and that I will engage quite deeply sometimes but then disappear for a few months (or years) re: communication, which is a remnant of a period of time where I used to get sometimes 200 Whatsapp messages in 5 minutes from someone who expected me to be accountable to her every second of every day when she was awake and wanted me to be.

On top of like, severe social anxiety + PTSD, and being very reserved in general, I would also say I'm very time poor. I don't have much time for the friends I already have and care about. I often view myself as quite a poor friend, who is not good at starting and even worse at maintaining connections. I'm also very private. As in, I will happily tell the world I have PTSD. But I won't tell my friends in a private conversation when I'm having a bad night, and I don't give friends many opportunities to connect. Even with really close friends, this is an ongoing issue that I'm working on.

So as for befriending, that's extremely sweet of you anon, but who I am in my personal life is sometimes very different to like... the way I can respond in comments or to anons, because it's actually easier for me to talk to strangers sometimes than it is for me to talk to friends, lol. I honestly think some of the people I consider my friends don't even know that I do, because I don't really behave like one. I chat online regularly to one person only, and one other person intermittently (and they're a romantic partner) and that's it. Everyone else I chat to pretty rarely in DM. But I do turn up in the Fae Tales Discord every day.

I don't actually think lots of people want to be my friend, tbh? Not in a 'woe is me' way, but simply because I think some people do grok that kind of... polite distance or that sort of warm 'I care for a lot of people but I am also quite personally walled off' kind of way. The good news is a lot of the folks in the Fae Tales Discord also share a lot of interest in writing trauma and recovery, or have those experiences, and I know a lot of good friends have been made within the like...faedom itself. A lot of neurodivergent, trauma-focused folks have met each other through this writing, and it's really cool seeing the different friendships that have sparked up between people. There's a lot of extremely like... skilled, talented, interesting people that I've met through this job, who I admire, respect and want the best for, and am very happy to talk to.

But yeah I'm a bit difficult to befriend, anon, and that's been an ongoing thing all my life, tbh. But it did specifically get worse in fandom because of some early fandom experiences when I started out in Rise of the Guardians fanfiction.

[punctuationbreakdown]

About that Scientology connection...

One of the details that came to light this week in the latest article detailing the horrific allegations against Neil Gaiman (which I believe are true, to be clear, but not the primary focus of what I'm writing about here) is the extent of his ties to the Church of Scientology. I was most engaged with Neil's work as a teenager and in my early 20s, and I didn't recall seeing mention of the connection at the time (granted, that was more than a few years ago!). I couldn't let it go after reading the Vulture article, so I started to dig a bit and found a lot of information being shared on Reddit and even further digging uncovered archived forum posts from over a decade ago by former CoS members.

There are a lot of details in this article by Mikey Crotty, who appears to be an independent comics journalist, which was published by Mike Rinder on his blog in 2023. Rinder was famously an executive in the "church" in Australia and ran SeaOrg (the elite force of CoS, essentially, and responsible for internal discipline within the broader org) before ultimately leaving the organization and speaking out as loudly as he could about the abuses he had been complicit in as a member (at great personal risk, as anyone who is familiar with the tactics used against former CoS members will know).

The piece was written as an exposé about Gaiman's novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, which was semi-autobiographical. Crotty discusses details about Gaiman's family, Gaiman's participation in CoS, and the coverup his father orchestrated for an apparent suicide of a student of Scientology who had immigrated to the UK and was living with the Gaimans at the time. This suicide is written into The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

Neil's father, David Gaiman, was head of worldwide communications for the Church of Scientology in the 60s, and was leading the PR spin to protect the organization from increasing legal scrutiny in the UK at the time. Around the same time, a suicide occurred while a young man, Johannes Scheepers, was living with them (the Gaiman's took in CoS students as lodgers at their home on a regular basis, apparently). The Gaiman family launched a campaign to depict him as a broken down gambler to avoid further scandal for the organization. The logic doesn't quite add up, and it's more likely that Johannes was a new adherent who had been badly taken advantage of. You can read more details in the article I linked. Crotty makes the case that not only were the Gaimans lying about the death of the student, even going so far as to claim he wasn't actually lodging with them, but that Neil then went further to spread these lies in the form of fiction decades later (we now know this book was written as a result of the prompting of Amanda Palmer, who was encouraging him to confront his childhood experiences with CoS per the article in Vulture).

The article also points out evidence of Neil's continued involvement with Scientology:

Neil Gaiman’s history with Scientology is very murky; deliberately so. His family are practically Scientology royalty in the UK, he met his first wife Mary McGrath while she was studying Scientology and lodging at Harrow House and he himself worked as a Scientology Auditor for several years in the Eighties and was a Director of a Scientologist’s property company ‘Centrepoint’ until 1999.  He now won’t discuss his own Scientology connections and states, without any details, that he’s no longer a member of the Cult that supported Apartheid up until the mid eighties, believes homosexuals are deviants and mental illness is a manifestation of personal failure in the sufferer’s current or past life; beliefs which are anathema to most of Neil’s adoring audience. His connection to Scientology and apparent departure from the cult first went public as part of a court case in 2002 where when asked “Are you still involved with the Church of Scientology?” Neil said “I don’t understand the question”, subsequently asked “Are you still a member of the Church of Scientology?” he replied “I don’t consider myself as such”. Even then his admission that he worked for the Church for 3 years is somewhat confusing: “I worked for a 3 year period after getting out of school as a ‘Counsellor’ for the Church of Scientology”; in fact he actually worked as an ‘Auditor’ in a process made famous in the award winning 2015 Documentary ‘Going Clear’ which explains how officials in the Church of Scientology keep in-depth records on everything its members say during private ‘auditing’ sessions and then use their secrets against them. Renowned Journalist and author on Scientology Tony Ortega says that Gaiman “became a Class VIII auditor, and even ran the Birmingham “org” as its ED, executive director. “. While there is no contradiction in Neil’s actual admission of working for Scientology up till the late Nineties and subsequently leaving the cult and its beliefs sometime in the early Noughties, conflicting details arise in the period since, when Neil has insisted he’s not a Scientologist. According to public records he was a shareholder in the family firm G&G Foods, which produces the vitamins used in Scientology’s highly criticized Narconon and De-Tox practices, since 2011. He transferred approximately a quarter of a million shares to Scientologist shareholders in 2013. There’s the book ‘Ocean’ also from 2013 and then there’s also his production company ‘The Blank Corporation’. ‘The Blank Corporation’ is Neil’s production company which works on all his adaptations such as ‘Sandman’, ‘Anansi Boys’, ‘Good Omens’ and the upcoming ‘Ocean at the End of the Lane’ in partnership with Netflix, Amazon, Warner Bros, the BBC and others. According to the website and any interviews, Neil founded ‘The Blank Corporation’ in 2016 with his Vice President and former P.A. Cat Mihos. According to the official Companies registration however, the company was actually set up by Neil and then wife (and still devout Scientologist) Mary McGrath in 2000. The company is still registered to a Scientologist’s P.O Box in Wisconsin, where Mary McGrath still works for the Church of Scientology. One company; two very different stories, it’s just another mystery, like what really happened to cause Johannes Scheepers to take his own life in 1968.

I want to note that based on what I've read, being a Class VIII auditor is the highest level you can go as an auditor in CoS without becoming a member of SeaOrg. Auditors are individuals who are key to the brainwashing process members of CoS undergo; they utilize the org's "technology" to identify past sins by doing intensive interrogation sessions with members. This means Neil was well trained in how to psychologically interrogate org members and held a position of relative power over them as he documented their dearest secrets for the org (primarily to blackmail them with should they ever want to leave, based on CoS records and former members' experiences).

I found forum posts where others reviewed public records that confirmed the majority of these claims, although unable to confirm the PO Box in Wisconsin. His sister, Lizzy Calcioli, is the current company director of G&G, which supplies pseudoscientific vitamin treatments to drug rehabilitation seekers that are horribly abused by Narconon (CoS does not allow actual medical intervention or medical practices in its org). According to public filings, Neil still owns shares in G&G.

There is also this interview from 2010 with the New Yorker, in which Neil claims he is no longer a member of CoS, but expresses sympathy with them:

These days, Gaiman tends to avoid questions about his faith, but says he is not a Scientologist. Like Judaism, Scientology is the religion of his family, and he feels some solidarity with them. “I will stand with groups when I feel like they’re being properly persecuted,” he told me.

It is also well known that celebrity members of CoS are encouraged/allowed to lie about their connection to it in order to support their monetary success. Because of course they're going to contribute back to the organization through that success, which it appears Neil has done.

Additionally, we know from public accounts of CoS's practices and leaked documents that once someone leaves the organization, they are not allowed to continue to associate with anyone within the cult. Isolation of former victims is one of the many tools used against them. The fact that Neil maintained a marriage for decades to an active member who still works for CoS, as well as relationships with his family members who are leaders in CoS, indicates he is either still on the books as a member or is contributing to CoS in order to avoid alienation from his family. Any sympathy a desire to remain connected with his family might conjure is misguided in my opinion, because we know that he's likely profiting off of shares in a company that takes advantage of and contributes to the traumatization of vulnerable patients as a CoS affiliated business.

Had I known Neil Gaiman was so closely connected to the "church" sooner (one degree away from L. Ron Hubbard himself as a child!), I would not have supported his work in the way that I did in the past. And I think he knew that a significant portion of his audience would respond the same way, which is why he obfuscated and downplayed those connections.

His alleged ongoing involvement also changes the way I perceive his actions - Deception and manipulation is, by former member's accounts, standard procedure for leaders within Scientology. It should come as no surprise that he will continue to deny any evidence, attempt to blame his victims, and lie lie lie to avoid potential consequences. It is, after all, the example he was given and trained in as an active participant in a destructive cult that he has never publicly disavowed and that he appears to continue to support.

I think this information should be taken into account as former (hopefully) fans react to his responses to these accusations. I wish for peace for the victims who are now speaking out, and I hope they are able to reach the resolution they deserve.

[plutosunshine]

Your Healing Daily Routine: the 6th house

The 6th house in Aries

Since the Aries sign and Mars are responsible for the body, movement, and activity, a healing routine here cannot be done without physical activity as the foundation of health. Regular workouts can help you release accumulated energy. Morning exercises will also be beneficial for you.

People with this placement in their chart find it crucial that no one imposes a daily routine on them from the outside. They want to manage their own schedule and set tasks and goals independently.

For this placement, a certain level of competition is essential to stay in shape and maintain motivation. This can even include competing with yourself and your own ambitions.

A nutritious diet supporting a high activity level is also vital for this placement. Foods like fast food may slow you down.

It is important for this placement to incorporate new elements into the routine to avoid boredom. Try new sports or hobbies.

The 6th house in Taurus

For this position, creating a comfortable and sustainable environment is essential. Arrange your workspace and home to make them cozy, whether it’s through soft fabrics or pleasant scents.

It’s very important for you to maintain a balanced and high-quality diet with fresh products. Enjoy each meal, eating slowly and mindfully.

Choose activities that bring you joy, such as yoga, walks in nature, dancing, or pilates. For people with this placement, regularity is more important than intensity.

Try incorporating meditation and breathing exercises into your daily routine, and spend more time outdoors.

Hobbies like crafting, drawing, cooking, or even gardening might suit you well. These activities can help relieve stress and strengthen your connection with yourself.

Organize your time in a way that helps you avoid rushing and stress. Staying calm and in harmony is crucial for this position.

Don’t forget the importance of quality sleep. Create a comfortable atmosphere: warm blankets, silence, soft lighting, and high-quality bedding.

Pay attention to simple pleasures that help you relax.

The 6th house in Gemini 

Everything that helps you grow also helps you heal. Whether it's regular reading of books, articles, educational courses, or anything else. With this approach, keeping a journal or writing down your thoughts can be very helpful for structuring them. You might have a lot of thoughts on a daily basis, so light meditation can help calm your mind and improve focus.

Social interactions with people are also beneficial, whether it's participating in group discussions or sharing a common hobby, where you can exchange information.

You would benefit most from physical activities related to coordination, such as walking, yoga, or dancing.

Try to plan your day with room for flexibility and changes. The "bit by bit" method might work well for you, breaking tasks into smaller portions and alternating between work and rest. Variety is also important to avoid boredom.

Make an effort not to overwhelm yourself with information. Take breaks from the constant flow of information or filter what you consume.

The 6th house in Cancer

It is very important for you to create a cozy atmosphere at home so that your daily routine becomes something enjoyable, whether it's lighting candles, meditating, or listening to calm music. Do household chores in a way that makes them pleasant.

Homemade meals that make you feel warm and cozy can also have a healing effect. Warm drinks, such as chamomile tea or milk with honey, can also help you create a sense of comfort.

Keeping a journal to write down your feelings could be a good practice for clearing your mind of accumulated emotions.

Take care of your body by nurturing your soul. Practices like yoga and other activities that harmonize the body and mind can be helpful. Taking baths with sea salt or essential oils can also benefit you.

Decorating your home can positively impact whether it's fresh flowers, soft fabrics, or cozy lighting.

Daily communication with your loved ones is incredibly healing for you.

Listen to yourself and your feelings; if you need to recharge or rest, don't force yourself to go against your needs.

The 6th house in Leo

For this placement, it is extremely beneficial to wake up with the sunrise. The ritual of waking up plays a significant role in setting the tone for your day. Starting the day with some exercise or dancing to your favorite music will help you kick things off energetically.  

It is also crucial for you not only to eat delicious food but to make sure it is visually appealing. Food that pleases the eye will give you an extra boost of energy. Don’t forget to include heart-healthy foods in your diet, as Leo governs the heart (e.g., nuts, avocados, greens, fish).  

Approach your daily tasks with a touch of creativity. Even routine activities can be transformed into something enjoyable.  

Find time in your routine for self-care, whether it’s a face mask, a stylish hairstyle, or a striking outfit. These small touches will help you shine even brighter.  

Engage only in physical activities that you truly enjoy. Most importantly, they bring you joy and a sense of strength.  

Treat yourself to a “mini celebration” every day. It can be anything, from a delicious cup of coffee to a meeting with friends. Make sure to carve out time for yourself, your hobbies, and your pleasures.

The 6th house in Virgo

For this placement, organization and daily planning are essential. Creating lists and planning tasks can be very helpful. It reduces your anxiety and helps you feel more productive.  

Taking care of your mental health is extremely important. Even small practices like meditation or breathing exercises can be beneficial. Keeping a gratitude journal can also be helpful.  

Health is one of the main focuses of this placement. A balanced diet and moderate physical activity are crucial for Virgo in the 6th house.  

Minimalism and order at home are very important for people with this placement. A clean and cozy space is a part of a healing routine.  

Self-care rituals, evening relaxation, and other such practices will help restore energy.  

One of the healing rituals for this placement is learning. Whether it's taking courses, reading books, or something else, it keeps you sharp and energized.

The 6th house in Libra

For the 6th house in Libra, it is crucial to establish balance in your daily routine. Try to create a schedule that includes time for work, rest, and personal pleasures.  

For the Libra sign, beauty is very important, so dedicate time to beauty rituals and self-care.  

Organize your workspace and living area in a way that incorporates elements of beauty and comfort.  

Your diet should not only be healthy but also aesthetically pleasing. Enjoy the process of savoring your meals.  

Since balance and harmony are of great importance to Libra, practicing them on all levels is essential. Meditation and breathing exercises are particularly well-suited for this placement.  

Remember to seek inspiration and enjoy the beautiful things in life. Engaging in creative activities can also be incredibly healing.

The 6th house in Scorpio

Psychological cleansing is crucial for the 6th house in Scorpio to make space for emotional transformation. This can manifest in daily life through practices such as meditation, journaling, or other rituals.  

The 6th house in Scorpio signifies a strong connection between the body and emotions, making nutrition an essential part of healing. Intuitive eating is particularly well-suited here.  

Any water-related rituals, whether swimming, baths with oils, or something else, have healing power.  

Physical activity also plays a transformative role alongside massage therapy.  

Try to live each day with the mindful question, "How can I transform today?"  

For Scorpio in the 6th house, work should not just be a duty but a place for deep transformation. Learn to let go of work that no longer brings you satisfaction.  

Scorpio is the sign of transformation, so it's important to maintain an energetically clean space. Regular cleaning and decluttering will be beneficial.

The 6th house in Sagittarius

Physical activities with an element of freedom, such as cycling, running, or yoga in the park, can be very beneficial. Activities like hiking and climbing might also suit you well.  

Sagittarius loves exploring new things, so don’t hesitate to add exotic and unusual dishes to your diet. Try to follow the philosophy of mindful eating and enjoy every meal. 

Plan your day while leaving room for spontaneity. Use tools like manifestations and motivational quotes.  

For Sagittarius, personal growth is essential, so anything related to self-development will be helpful, whether it’s reading or immersing yourself in other cultures.  

Sagittarius is a traveler, so try exploring new routes even within your city. Regular trips, if possible, will also be highly beneficial.

The 6th house in Capricorn

A detailed daily plan can be very beneficial. Capricorn loves structuring everything, so having a well-planned day is important.  

Regular physical exercise is useful as it teaches discipline and responsibility.  

Spend more time outdoors in nature to feel connected to it.  

Take care of your bone and joint health (which Capricorn rules), specifically by adding calcium- and magnesium-rich foods to your diet.  

Nutritious, wholesome food is essential. Try to eat at the same time every day.  

Regular massages to relieve tension, especially in the back and neck area, can be helpful.  

To feel productive, try to develop the habit of completing even small tasks daily. However, be cautious and remember that it's important to let go of guilt for "not being productive enough." Striking a balance between rest and work is crucial.

The 6th house in Aquarius

For the 6th house in Aquarius, it is essential to create a routine that remains diverse and engaging. Try changing the sequence of tasks or introducing something new to maintain interest.

Aquarius rules technology, so using modern apps and gadgets for health tracking can be beneficial—for example, a pedometer, fitness tracker, or meditation app.

Since Aquarius is a collective sign, participating in group activities of any kind can be highly beneficial.

This sign is also open to experimenting with unique sports, whether it’s dance aerobics or aerial yoga.

It’s very important to relax the mind through mindfulness practices, such as reading inspiring literature or engaging in other mentally stimulating activities.

Make sure to leave room for freedom in your schedule—allow yourself the flexibility to change plans unexpectedly.

The 6th house in Pisces

It is important for you to start and end your day calmly—without rush or stress. Instead of a rigid daily plan, opt for a gentle, flexible approach. Creating a cozy and peaceful atmosphere around you is essential.  

Pisces is a highly spiritual sign, so meditation, mantras, prayers, and breathing techniques can be especially beneficial.  

Water-related rituals are also helpful, whether it’s salt baths or swimming.  

Support your mental health through creativity. Allow yourself to express your artistic side on a daily basis.  

Since Pisces is deeply connected to music, don’t deny yourself the pleasure of listening to your favorite tunes or meditating with healing sounds.  

Pisces thrives with slow, flowing physical activities, such as swimming, yoga, and Pilates.  

Additionally, getting enough sleep is crucial for the 6th house in Pisces.  

This placement also requires daily moments of solitude, where you can be alone with yourself and recharge your energy.

[redrose10]

Another one I’ve had half written for a very long time. I’ve been really motivated today. Can you tell?

Idol/Fuck Boy Yoongi x Female Reader

Warnings: Angst, Yoongi’s kind of a jerk at first and sleeps around a lot, hints of smut, swearing, hints of a fight if you really look

Word Count: 4,205

☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵☕️🎵

There were three things that Yoongi was certain about in this life. Firstly, he was a musical genius. Whether it was lyrics, beats, rapping, singing, performing…he could do it all and was good at it. Secondly, he didn’t believe in love. He wasn’t capable of loving and he didn’t deserve to be loved. He’d had flings and one night stands all around the world, but he mostly saw those as just biological needs. There was no emotional connection. No feelings. He hated stuff like that.

He’d had a few relationships when he was younger because he thought that was what he was supposed to do, but they never lasted more than six or seven months at most and he definitely never came close to loving them.

As he got older he stopped trying to force it and therefore hadn’t had a relationship for several years. Was this belief in love or lack there of because of his upbringing? Maybe. Did his struggles with his own mental health cause this? Yeah probably a little at least. No matter the reason, he was certain that love was not real.

The third thing that was a guaranteed constant was you. You were one of the few people that he could tolerate on a regular basis. It was nearly eight years ago that he met you. He had been eyeing you since he walked through the door of the little cafe you worked at. You were beautiful. You had a smile that made his heart skip a beat, eyes that filled his stomach with butterflies, a kindness to your voice that made him smile like a goofy idiot, and a body that made him think all kinds of unholy things.

You were also the waitress who accidentally spilled a coffee (thankfully iced) all over him as he sat and conversed with his friends. He jumped back and spat out a few curse words, not at you or because of what you had done, but because of the cold ice hitting his crotch giving him quite a shock. Immediately you burst into tears profusely apologizing and offering to replace the clothing even though you knew his shirt alone probably cost more than your rent, but you couldn’t loose your job.

Of course he would never do something so drastic over a spilled cup of coffee. He reassured you that it was okay and you didn’t owe him anything, but he could still tell you were quite shaken up.

Over the next few days he couldn’t stop thinking about you so one evening after a long day of practices and studio time he decided to stop in for a coffee. He chuckled at the look of fear on your face when you saw him, but after some explaining and a few pleasant words exchanged he asked for your number.

Deep down he felt something was off with the whole situation. He knew his ultimate goal was just to bed you once or twice maybe even three times if you were good and then leave you to move on to the next one.

It only took a few weeks for him to be sitting across from you at one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city. He wined and dined you. Put out all of his usual moves. You were different than most of the women he usually surrounded himself with in these types of situations though. Most of the women he was with figured it out pretty quickly what his end game was and were fast themselves to get to the point. You were different. You enjoyed his company, asked him questions no one else ever had. You smiled and intently listened to the stories he told. You never brought up money or fame. You didn’t ask him to introduce you to Taehyung or Hoseok. You were simply interested in getting to know Min Yoongi.

But even after all of that that he continued on with his usual plan. After dinner he took you back to his private studio to “show you around” which was code for having you ride him on his leather couch until you were both too spent to think.

He lit a couple candles (mood lighting)

Asked if you wanted to change into one of his tshirts to get comfy (easier access to what he wanted)

Offered to get you a drink or show you to the bathroom (once he got started he didn’t want any interruptions)

He pulled you onto his lap and offered to play you a secret song, one noone had heard before. He knew that was a lie. He said it every time. It was the same song he played for all of the women he brought there. He would claim they were the first to hear it so that they would feel special.

Usually they would fall head over heels and coo and gush and their cheeks would blush and they would get all giggly and shy. Then he would slowly kiss their neck and wait to see if they stopped him. Nine times out of ten they wouldn’t and he’d take that as the chance to keep going and move the evening further along.

But you…you were different. He gave you the same story about a song no one else had heard before. You laughed and rolled your eyes, “I bet you say that to all your girls.”

Yoongi faltered. It was a rarity, but he was human. Were you just joking? Or could you see right through him and we’re calling him out? It intrigued him more than it should have.

He played you the song. A cheesy love song he wrote one night many years ago before love seemed so foreign to him. He waited for you to eat it up. Then fall for it. Then you would help him release the built up tension he had been feeling since he first saw you in your short little sundress you were wearing.

But you didn’t do any of that. You picked apart the song. You provided a lot of constructive criticism much of which Yoongi actually agreed with. He soon forgot about the whole reason he even brought you there to begin with and instead the two of you spent hours listening to and talking about music. He played you an actual unreleased song to pick your brain, something he had never done before. Yoongi abandoned his plan to end the night with sex and instead asked you to come back next weekend if you wanted to so you guys could work on some music together. Genuinely he enjoyed your company. He wanted to spend more time with you and get to know you better. And that is how your friendship formed.

Over the years the two of you became nearly inseparable. As long as he wasn’t on tour or “with” someone else the two of you were side by side.

You hated to admit that those nights that Yoongi was with others it killed you. A long time ago you had developed a crush on your friend, but there was no way you were going to let him know that. So you bit your tongue and did your best not to show it effected you when he would show up with purple marks on his skin and smelling of a feminine perfume that was not yours.

Until one night you’d had enough. The two of you were locked up in his studio. Yoongi was looking extra good today. He had let his hair grow out and had put on a little bit of weight in the right places making his white tshirt just a touch tight.

Angry with the way the song was coming together he flopped back down onto the leather couch with a loud sigh. His legs spread and his hands tugging at his hair in frustration. He was practically begging you to take a seat on his lap.

So you did…

He jumped a little not expecting you to make that move.

You placed kisses along his jaw and neck, pulling down the collar of his tshirt so you could move lower to his chest.

“Y/N…wh-what are you doing?”, he questioned.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”, you chuckled.

Yoongi’s brain and body were fighting each other for control of how to handle the situation.

“Y/N, you gotta ahh you gotta stop. We shouldn’t do this.”, he somehow managed to choke out trying to pull you away from him.

“Really?”, you asked with a raise of your eye brow before grinding down on his lap feeling him fully hard beneath you, “Because it seems like you do want this just as much as I do.”

You divided your attention between kissing his neck and grinding on his bulge for several minutes rendering him unable to speak. As you were unzipping his pants he was finally able to come to his senses enough to stop you. His hand grabbed yours, “Y/N…I…I don’t want this to ruin anything between us. Before we go further I need you to know that we’ll never be more than friends with benefits.”

It felt like a dagger to the chest. Deep down you knew that was the case, but of course there was that small part of you that hoped for more. You nodded and turned your attention back to his pants allowing him to finally spring free.

Somehow he managed to stop you again, “Y/N, I need to hear you say it. I need to know that you’re okay with this.”

You thought for second before nodding, “Yeah I’m okay with it Yoongi. I want this.” With that he allowed you to continue your earlier actions.

Yoongi had great control of his orgasms. He never came unless he was ready and wanted to. It was another thing about himself that he was quite proud of.

But tonight. The tonight that he had wanted so many years ago that he was now experiencing was bringing him to edge fast. Feeling you bouncing up and down on top of him. Seeing your body naked and spread out for him. Your cries of his name as you came was too much for him to ward off his orgasm any longer. He gripped your hips for dear life as he lost control coming undone inside of you. He bit his tongue until he tasted blood to stop himself from saying those three words he didn’t believe in.

As he helped you clean yourself up his chest started to ache. He was so worried about you being the one to get the situation misconstrued, but here he was realizing that he might have been the one that fucked up.

This friends with benefits relationship went on for over a year. You remained exclusive to Yoongi. You didn’t have to and you knew it was dumb. Especially because you knew he hadn’t been exclusive to you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to see anyone else.

Yoongi on the other hand was always wondering if you were sleeping with other guys. He would always chase those thoughts away because he hated the jealous feeling that bubbled up inside him every time he thought about it. He had made it clear to you that this was strictly sex between friends so it was your prerogative to sleep with whoever you wanted. At the start of your arrangement he had continued to sleep around with other people while also sleeping with you. He wasn’t the most proud of it, but it kept things feeling more normal for him. He didn’t want things to feel domesticated with you. But as the months went on he reached out to others less and less until you were the only one he called. You were all he needed maybe even all he wanted. He hadn’t figured it out that far yet. He knew things were getting messy though. Not only was he staying monogamous to you he was doing things that he never would have done for others before.

In the past he would have bought you dinner no problem. You were his friend, but you would have had to eat whatever he got and that was it. He wouldn’t be driving to the other side of the city to get noodles at your favorite restaurant even though there was a place right next door that served the same exact thing, but according to you the other place tasted better. So he drove twenty minutes out of the way every single time.

Then he cuddled you after sex. He never did that to anyone else. That was a different kind of intimacy he didn’t want…usually. He was normally more of a do the deed and then he’s already calling a cab for the woman before her clothes are even all the way back on. But with you he looked forward to the time spent afterwards resting while running his fingers through your hair as you told him about your day.

He started working out too. He was always comfortable in his body for the most part. He knew he wasn’t super tall or muscular and he was okay with that. He had plenty of people around the world making sure he knew he was attractive the way that he was. But then you made him doubt himself one day. No one else saw it. But he did. He saw the way your eyes scanned Jungkook’s body. The way you slightly licked your lips watching as Jungkook was flexing his abs and biceps in front of the mirror. Yoongi hated the thought of you finding someone else attractive. So there he was every morning at 6am cursing the world, but still hitting the gym with nothing but you on his mind.

He knew he was falling. He knew it would end badly. He just didn’t know how to stop it.

It was a Thursday, very late in the night when it all blew up. Yoongi had been on tour for three months, the longest he had gone without seeing you in quite some time. He missed you. He missed your voice, your scent, your touch. He was needy and desperate and wasn’t embarrassed to admit it. He had plenty of opportunities while on tour with fans and even some of the staff members willing to do as he pleased, but he couldn’t bring himself to indulge in them. His hand got the job done when he really needed it, but there was nothing like the feeling of you.

And now as he watch you riding him, his favorite position, he was doing his best to not finish too soon. An effect that you had on him which he both loved and hated.

“F-fuck I missed you.”, he said leaving kisses against your cleavage.

His hands grabbed onto your hips holding you in place giving him the leverage to roughly buck up into you a few times before letting you continue back on with your own pace.

“I’m sure you were pretty occupied while on tour. It must’ve been like a paradise to you.”, you quipped back hoping to come off as joking while trying to hide the hurt in your voice.

“Not even close. You’re all I think about all the time….alll….all I want….all I need.” he said with a long drawn out moan.

“I bet you say that to all your girls”, you smirked. Truth was you didn’t even really want to know the answer to that.

“I would never say that to anyone else. I love you too much Y/N.”, he said as he spilled deep inside of you. Yoongi didn’t know why he said it. Maybe it was because his dick had control of most of the blood in his body leaving his brain pretty much useless. Maybe he thought it was romantic like those dumb movies you always made him watch. Maybe subconsciously he hoped you were to out of it and wouldn’t hear his slip up so he could finally get it off his chest. He wasn’t sure, but he felt relief once it was said either way.

You knew he didn’t mean it. As much as you wanted to believe him you knew you couldn’t. He had made his stance on love very clear. Though a tiny part of you did wonder if he was serious.

You didn’t falter. You didn’t say it back as he sat there looking up at you. Awkwardly he got up and headed to the shower to get cleaned up.

As you laid there thinking through your options of how to handle it a text came through on his phone that was resting on the bedside table next to you.

Aera: We still on for tomorrow 😘

That sealed it for you. If he really did love you then why would he have another hookup already lined up for tomorrow? Quickly you gathered up your things and left his home before he got out of the shower. You couldn’t face him without crying tears of sadness, hurt, and anger all mixed into one. You knew that your relationship with him had to change moving forward because you couldn’t keep going on pretending that everything was okay the way that it was.

When Yoongi exited the shower he was fully prepared to firstly apologize for taking so long in there. He had gone over hundreds of different scenarios in his head for how to move forward and finally settled on the best option. He was going to confess and tell you the truth, he loved you. He really did. He doesn’t know how it happened or why it happened, but it did and he loves you and wants to make things official. No more lies. No more pretending. But when he walked into the bedroom you were already gone. You weren’t in the kitchen or the living room. You had left. Yoongi flopped back onto his bed with a loud groan and ran his hands over his face. He needed a way to fix this and fix it fast.

You needed space from Yoongi and thankfully he was giving it to you. Of course as far as you knew he was occupied with someone else and wasn’t even thinking about you anyways so you still wanted to cry every time you thought about it. You decided to distract yourself and maybe you also wanted to be a just a little tiny bit petty. A part of you hoped Yoongi would find out and he might just be a little bit upset. Upset at the fact that you were going on a date with his enemy, Chul. He was a producer at BigHit. Yoongi was a professional so he kept things as such, but you knew better than anyone that he and Chul did not like each other in the slightest. They had a rivalry that caused many hurtful nasty words to be exchanged over the years. You felt bad in a way for doing this because Yoongi did say you two would never be anything more so you couldn’t expect him to love you, but it was extremely unfair for him to say he loved you when he really didn’t mean it.

You knew it wouldn’t take long for word about your date to get back to Yoongi. Chul would surely want to rub it in his face and you were right.

At 3am someone was angrily pounding on your front door. When you opened it Yoongi was standing there red faced and out of breath. You immediately noticed his swollen bruised knuckles and a small cut above his eyebrow. Before you could ask what happened he started. His finger pointed in your direction as he shouted, “Seriously Y/N?! You don’t love me back that’s fine, but your response is to immediately go on a date with the one person I hate? The one person that you knew would hurt me the most?”

“Yoongi quit it with the loving you bullshit. You don’t love me. You’re just mad that you can’t have me all to yourself any more while you’re off fucking god knows who like some sick game.”

He pushed himself into your apartment slamming the door behind him. “Who else am I fucking Y/N?”, he yelled louder, “It’s only been you for the last year. I haven’t wanted anyone else.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “Oh please Yoongi. You had the nerve to tell me you loved me with your dick still inside me and then ten minutes later you’re getting a text from some woman named Aera asking if the two of you are still meeting up.”

He took a step back looking at you confused, “Me and Aera are not hooking up. We never were.”

Save it Yoongi.”, you put your hand up, “I’m not falling for your games any more.”

“I swear on everything Y/N. I’m not sleeping with her. Aera and Jimin have a thing with each other. She bought him a custom jacket and she wanted me to help her distract him for a little so she could sneak it in his house. That’s all. I never had any intention of sleeping with her.”

You shook your head unsure if you should believe him or not, “I’m not stupid Yoongi. Why would she include an emoji like that if it didn’t mean something else?”

He threw his head back in frustration, “I don’t know Y/N. That’s just how they are. If her and Jimin could communicate in only emojis they would. It meant nothing like that. There has been no one else for a long long time.”

Taking a step back you put your hands up to stop him from following you, “I need….I need time Yoongi. I can’t do this any more.”

You ran back to your room locking the door behind you. There were too many different emotions filling you that you needed to process. You knew Yoongi would leave and give you space and he did just that.

It took several weeks, but eventually you agreed to meet him in his studio to talk things over again now that things had time to cool down and you had time to think.

He answered the door with a smile inviting you in. He pulled a chair up next to him at his computer so you could sit down.

“H-how have you been?”, he nervously asked.

“Good…good. And you?”

He gave you a tight lipped smile. “How’s Chul?”, he asked.

“I don’t know.”, you shrugged, “We haven’t spoken since that date.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but smirk a little at the news.

After that the room filled with an awkwardness that you hated.

“So uh I’ve been working on this new song. Want to hear it?”

With a smile you eagerly nodded, “Yeah but don’t expect this to end with us having sex again.”

“Fair enough. I guess I need a new pickup line anyways.”, he laughed helping to ease the tension between you both.

The song was a beautiful ballad about being so afraid of getting your heart broken that you convince yourself love isn’t real only to allow your fear to cause you to loose the only person you’d ever loved anyways. In the end the person faces their fear and gets their lover back. When the song came to an end the last thing you expected was for Yoongi to come on the speaker, but he spoke with a soft voice,

“Hi Y/N.”, he chuckled, “This is a little more awkward than I thought it would be. I don’t know if you’ll ever give me the chance to tell you this to your face so I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry. I am sorry that I was coward. I am sorry for making you think that you weren’t the only one. It’s been you since that day you spilled ice coffee all over me in the cafe, ruining my Valentino jacket by the way. I’ve been in love with you this whole time. I’m just an idiot who’s been in denial because I was afraid to loose you if things got bad, but I ended up loosing you anyways which is worse than if I had tried to begin with. It has always been you Y/N. I hope that one day you can give me another chance to prove that to you.”

Yoongi felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest as he watched you for a reaction. He could feel how red his cheeks were without even touching them.

There were three things that Yoongi was certain of in his life. Firstly, love was a confusing concept. He still had his doubts about it, but opening up to you showed him that it was okay to feel. Emotions were a normal part of life. Secondly, you were the most breathtakingly beautiful woman he had ever seen. No one could or would ever come close to being able to compare to you. Thirdly, hearing you say you loved him too sounded better than any musical composition he had ever heard or could ever create.

“Say it again. Please Y/N. Say it again.”, he begged against your lips as he kissed you.

I love you Yoongi.”, you mumbled into his lips.

He pulled you onto his lap hugging you close like he was trying to make sure this was all really happening.

“I love you. I love you so much.”, he whispered over and over.

“I bet you’ve never said that to any of your girls.”

He smirked, “No baby. Only you, forever and always.”

[sideysvault]

ೀ｡˚ Patching Deadpool up years after he left you ೀ⋆｡˚

Pairing: Wade Wilson x fem!reader

Part two here

Wordcount: 2,9k

Tags: Canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending.

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The rusty silver plate read in an almost playful manner “The sisters Margaret home for wayward children”. It was a colorful name, and it belonged to a not so colorful bar. That was the place where the two of you had met.

Back then, you were nothing more than a student.  Constantly struggling to manage the very limited funding given to you. All you wanted was to finish your thesis, get your master’s degree, and make it to the end of the month. Your paychecks had cornered you into the only half decent apartment you could rent: The one built in the shittiest neighborhood in town, in a building held up solely by divine grace and poor construction.

That particular night was the end of an extremely rough week. Work piled up, homesickness struck you every time you had a chance to relax and think, and you were the living proof that nobody could make any meaningful connections if you only strictly went to work and home with no rest in between.

And for Christ’s sake, you hated to admit it, but you really missed home and the crippling suspicion that you were close to breaking down was settling in.

The only logical next step you could take popped into your head just as you were walking into your neighborhood. You needed to blow off some steam. Have a drink. Or two. Or three. So, your steps seemingly redirected themselves towards that ugly bar that was close to your uglier apartment. Sure, it seemed super sketchy. But right this second, all you needed was to get a drink.

Wade was in that bar too. As he usually was. He immediately took notice of the woman who seemed clearly out of place. You looked like some kind of stuck up librarian. And it was obvious that your mood was extraordinarily dispirited. Sitting there staring at the wall with a piercing stare. Paying no mind to the environment you were in. Furrowed eyebrows adorned your face seemed concerned. Before Wade even realized what he was doing, he found himself striking a conversation with you.

He tried to reason with himself. There were no ulterior motives, no meaning behind his accretion. Wade has always had a soft spot for damsels in distress. And you were hot as fuck. Nothing else.

“What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?”

Strangely, that's all it took to make you laugh. The absurdity of the corny comment immediately got to you and a loud burst of laughter came out of your mouth. Wade's face softened with a certain sense of pride when he saw he could make you laugh.

The stuck up girl with a stick up on her ass had just let out not a forced and polite giggle, but an all teeth and gums type of laugh.

The poorly dim light in the bar did not stop him from trying to take all your features in. And a sense of warmth began to surface under his skin. He was the one who made your night better.

Ever since the event, you would visit that horrid place regularly. Only to see the charming guy who would make you laugh. Your little hangouts quickly evolved into something more. A friendship of sorts. He would walk you home when you stayed late working. “To protect you from all the homicidal freaks”. Wade would take you on private tours around the city, so its streets wouldn't feel so foreign to you. He could notice that you genuinely had a great time whenever he was around. And that was all he needed to keep showing up.

One late night, laughter turned into teasing, which transformed to kissing, which later turned into a hookup that evolved into having sex on a regular basis and going out routinely. Wade and you couldn't be more different, it was true. But it seemed to be the key to your relationship. You guys clicked together, balancing each other out.

The insidious realization came to you on a random afternoon. You were in love with Wade Wilson. And he probably felt the same for you.

As cruel as life is, something terrible happened. Just as things were getting serious between the two of you, on one cursed night, he just decided to pick up all of his things from your apartment and leave. All Wade left behind was a tiny note stating that he had terminal cancer and that he loved you. With a little doodle of a heart with crossed out eyes and a tongue sticking out of its mouth.

You were out doing research the first time he fainted. A full-time professor had the kindness to name you as a co-author in an important research paper that was being published in some big shot magazine. Wade felt extremely proud of you. On some late nights he couldn't believe that a woman like you could be head over heels a low stakes hit-man.

The decision felt simple at the time. He ran straight to the clinic and never told you about the incident. Wondering why he would bother you with something that was probably nothing. On that day, in a confined room with sterile air, with its gray walls and the constant sound of the old air conditioner, that’s where the doctor hit him with the whole terminal cancer ordeal. Wade knew you would automatically make a billion plans and extensive research. He knew you'd stay with him all the way through the end. Even if it affected your career, even if it would wreck you emotionally, even if your routine together was reduced to a mere nurse-client relationship, you would stay with him all the way. That was the reason he had fallen in love with you after all.

So, he made a choice. Albeit, one that was a little less simple. He was leaving before tarnishing your life, your memory of him and your time together with his sickness. He couldn't do that to you. The woman who actually had goals. And a shot for a promising future. If he told you about the situation, Wade was certain that he wouldn't have the heart to say no to you. He would stay. And you'd forever remember him as a lost puppy who you loved but had to put down mercifully.

The other option was to be the asshole who left. But he could live on your memory forever. As the person he once was. So that was that.

━━━━━━━━━

You decided to take a shortcut to your newly renovated home. You were wearing your favorite heels today. And they really weren't walking shoes. Brand new, stiff, and ridiculously blue. The scrappy and dark alleyway was well illuminated, and it would take you directly into the street your building was in. After weighing the options, you decided it was safe enough to make a run for it.

The loud noises that you increasingly heard coming from the dumpster worried you. The dumpster was located just before being able to get out of that creepy lane, and you tried to stop the flux of thoughts about homicidal maniacs that suddenly plagued your mind. But, the thought of injured animals that people abandoned on the street came to you as well. Getting closer, hearing the early sound of the echoed of your shoes against the cement, you tried to swallow your fear. Something in there could really need a vet.

But there was a mutilated man wearing a red suit. You instinctively froze and began to step back, the scene was so gruesome that you were sure you would puke on the body and ruin the DNA evidence. Just as you were typing the emergency number on your phone you heard that voice.

“Bad Deadpool” it mumbled. You heard some nonsensical phrases before you could make out a “Fuck. That was, like, my favorite arm”

Your heart began to pound so strongly you could practically feel it on your ears.

He hadn't noticed you yet, continuing to lose a shit ton of blood and trying to balance himself upward without the missing limbs and several shot wounds.

Not without a second thought, you ran to help him stand up. As soon as he felt your firm touch, he turned around violently, holding a defensive position. But the man in the red suit stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you were the one holding him.

This was not the neighborhood you used to live in.

You sighed at the sight and quickly took him back to your apartment. You knew it was him. Not only that, but you were sure of it. The lame jokes had given it away. And that voice had haunted you for a long time. You'd recognize him anywhere. His remaining arm felt the same, the inflections of his tired voice sounded the same, and the shock he’d felt at seeing you was indisputable belonging to him.  You had heard rumors about the red suit. But never wondered who could be behind the mask. Wade was supposed to be dead by now, anyway.

Wade, on the other hand, was focusing on not making a sound. He really hoped breaking your heart had left you clinically insane. Insane enough to rescue random mutilated men off the street.

As soon as you entered the apartment it became tainted with carnage. A trail of crimson red adorned your freshly painted white snow walls. Little chunks of skin would occasionally fall. Accompanying the already gruesome blood. Your heels had been lost somewhere along the way and with great effort you had managed to throw him into a bed that he wasn't yet familiar with.

Fuck it. As if losing an arm and a leg wasn't enough. This was breathtakingly fucked.

The shock left your body as soon as you saw your not-dead ex-boyfriend mutilated on your bed. And shock was the only thing keeping you together.

By that moment he was certain you knew it was him. Your eyes began to tear up at the sight of his wounded body, your cheeks were trembling with fear, or disgust, or a combination of both. Before he could try to get up, a pool of blood came shooting out of his mouth without warning. Some of it must have filtered through the mask because you somehow looked more terrified than before. He felt dizzy. And before Wade could do anything about it, you took out his mask on a whim to try to avoid him choking on his own blood. And that was it. All that pain, all the abandonment, the secrecy. It all meant nothing now. You had seen his face.

You were definitely taken aback. And he felt his heart break a little when you instinctively removed her hand from his face. You swallowed with difficulty, shook your head and got up. There were more pressing matters at hand. You had heard things about the vigilante regenerating. But you weren't taking any chances. Not with Wade. Never again.

It didn't matter how fucked up he looked now. He took the opportunity of you leaving the room to put his mask back on as quickly as he could. As he was trying to process everything that had just happened, through the door he could see your crying face moving up and down around the apartment. And there you were. Carrying it all into the bedroom.

It was a massive, fancy emergency kit that you had saved up for back in the day. When he was still beating bad guys for money and living with you. You had kept it all this time. And it was still perfectly stocked.

Wade couldn't lift his gaze to meet yours. But he noticed that you seemed relatively unfazed by his new face now. Or by the fact that you had seen him lacking two limbs and with some extra holes. The tears had stopped, but the mortifying look on your face never left. You always knew what he did for a living, you weren’t stupid. But he had always managed to keep it out of home. Or at least he tried to. Never to this extent. You weren't really used to it.

After all he had faced, he thought he did not need any care anymore. Just his healing, getting high and his unicorn. After all, his body would mend all the damage he had done to it and grow itself back together. But it still hurts. And you still tried to make it better. You begin to patch him up as best as you can, taking your time disinfecting, sewing, and fixing him. He knew you well enough to be absolutely certain that you were trying not to gag at the sight of the wounds. And he appreciated your efforts.

When you finished, you softly traced your fingernails on his bandages. He was too tired to talk. And you were still too shocked. How the fuck is he still alive after those injuries? What had happened to him after all these years?

Without saying a word you got up and went straight to the kitchen. You returned after some time, with his favorite tea, soup, and all the analgesics you could find. Your kindness gave him courage to stop being such a weak pussy and actually try to talk to you. You had seen him. Even if you wouldn't want anything to do anymore, the worst had passed.

“So… Sorry about your walls. Didn't know you had a fancy place now. I would've totally died in another alleyway, I promise. And, sorry, for-uhm, you know. The character shattering abandonment”

He coughed some blood. You just furrowed your eyebrows and as slowly as you could, so he could actually stop you this time if that was what he wanted, you removed his mask again. Your eyes pierced him with earnest intensity.

“You are a fucking asshole. And I fucking hate you. And I'm so glad you are alive”

"I know, I know, baby. And thank you for going all Mother Teresa on me. Well, wrong comparison. But, yeah. I'll be okay in no time. It's hard to explain right now. But, I will do right by you and paint your walls bright white when my leg and everything grows back! Pinky promise. I'll also buy you new shoes. It's kinda gross that you are footless. Or, well, it could be h-”

“Oh my lord, Wade. Just shut up and get some rest. Eat when you feel better. And scream if you need something”

And just when you were about to leave the room he softly said “Hey. I'm sorry. I-, I didn't want to bring you onto the whole cancer show. I was going to fix myself and come back. And then everything got fucked. I couldn't let you see me like this. Understand that. I'm a monster now. Inside out. I would have never left if there had been a way of staying without ruining your life”

You just looked at him for a long moment. Tears began to appear in your eyes, threatening to come out again. As soon as he saw your face, he immediately tried to lighten up the mood. “Hey, how long have you been obsessed with me?

Still keeping that old thing?” He said as he gestured at the now empty emergency kit.

He didn't have the heart to explain to you that it was a waste in him.

Saying nothing in response to Wade's dumb joke, you just rolled your eyes. Hearing him talk that way about himself hurt your soul. You couldn't help yourself anymore, so you walked towards the injured man with tears running down your face. You sat down on a chair beside the bed and rested your head on his lap.

He called your name softly “there's no need to cry. I know I belong to a fucking circus, but this is getting a little offensive" Wade finally got a chuckle out of you. You smile at him and wipe out your tears. Wade winces slightly when you tenderly leave a kiss on his forehead. He feels ashamed of the tact his ruined skin probably had left on your soft lips. It has truly been so long. You notice how he reacts. So you put your hands around his face and gently kiss each of his cheeks, and then the bridge of his nose. As softly as you can.

"I'll go now before you make some lame Greek kiss joke. Get some rest. We'll talk in the morning. I know you are sorry.” With a more serious voice, you added.

“Just no more running away in the middle of the night. Okay?”

Wade softens. He really missed you. As much as he liked Al's old ass, his true home was with you. Even after all these years. Even after what he did to you. Even with how he looked. Wade was certain he would be able to sleep soundly for the first time in years. He was safe now.

“Never again. I promise. I'll do right by you. Okay? We'll be friends with a ton of disgusting unexplored sexual tension in no time and who knows where that could lead to”

You laughed again. And there it was. His favorite sound in the world. It sounded just like the first time he heard it all those years ago.

"By the way, you do owe me those heels. And white walls. You pinky promised it. Oh, and you also owe me the biggest fucking explanation of the century.”

“Sounds like a start to me”

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Notes: OMG my first big one! I’m excited to post this. I hope it makes sense, if it doesn’t, feedback is always welcomed! -Sidey xxo

[Edited on October 2024! This was poorly written and I was fully proud of it 😭 shoutout to @nikkiwho, who I fixed this fit for] btw, I’m working on your request for part two even if it’s been a while! Hope you like it.

[astro-tag-9]

Rising Signs

Aries Rising: You are born with more ambition than you may always know what to do with. You wear it for the world to see. You are easily yourself 100% of the time. You have confidence in almost everything you do, even if you don't know what you are doing. You aren't afraid to make mistakes and you take every opportunity thrown your way. Taurus Rising: You find ways to love when other people would not. You are even borderline obsessed with love and everything to do with it. Your emotional goals take priority over your physical goals on a regular basis. Once you have obtained, or are mutually in love with somebody, it is then that you can actually focus on obtaining physical goals of yours. When you are in love, your universe seems to re-center to your love. Gemini Rising: You hold a more fierce presence than you are aware. You are aloof but the center of every party. You know how to be social more naturally than most. You tend to make friends so easily, and end up being the reason how many other people make great connections. You tend to be the glue in any of your friend groups. Cancer Rising: You have a default sweet natured look to you that people notice right away. You may often feel like people around you are always trying to cater to your wants or needs. You just draw in people who are natural givers. But you become aware of this at some point in your life. Just make sure you don't abuse this, but always appreciate it. Leo Rising: You hold strong physical features that capture attention from many people when you first meet them. Your appearance is typically "loud" (in a good way). You know how to demand attention, and enjoy holding the status as the most powerful person in the room. Virgo Rising: If you ask any of your friends they would say you live off the grid 90% of the time to most of the world, and really keep your day-to-day circle as small as could be. You only prefer big crowds if they are so big that nobody is really noticing you, and you only prefer small groups when it's your day 1 homies that don't put you on the spot or make small talk. Libra Rising: You've probably never not looked good a day in your life. You truly have the most natural glow to yourself where with little to no effort, you are always a shining star. However, you never fail to remind people that you are more than meets the eye. Scorpio Rising: Even in the best moments of your life, somehow chaos, on even a minor level creeps in. Overtime you learn how to control it and your emotions to not let it get the best of you. Many envy your cool and calm, collected demeanor when they see you tackle this chaos. Sagittarius Rising: You know everything about everyone. Everybody's go-to friend to tell secrets to or trauma dump on. However, what makes you great at this role, is your ability to take it, and then immediately know how to cheer them up afterwards. Your ideas are endless, and you are always thinking of new things to do. Capricorn Rising: You will never let somebody be alone when you can feel that they shouldn't be. You very much go where ground is hollow, and work on filling in the dirt. You are driven to these places in people's lives. Sometimes it may feel more stress than it's worth, but you are more impactful on people's lives than you know. Aquarius Rising: I cannot stress this enough, STAY INTO YOUR ART! Creative energy is flowing through you at all times, you just have to find ways to always tap into it. Don't let your art be ruined or tainted. Always keep creating. Never let your ideas go without bringing them to life. Pisces Rising: You are always floating along like a river stream. Never having a clear destination, just going where it takes you. You form many different friends in completely different groups. A little of this and a little of that. Your friends are a total melting pot of personalities, each bringing out different sides of you. Just do not lose your own identity in which friend group you are hanging with at the moment.

[pierregazly]

in the mind of another ꨄ max verstappen

max verstappen x fem!soulmate!reader

warnings: mentions of sexual themes (no smut), pining/yearning for another, tiny bit of angst but hea! [wc is 5.4k]

in which soulmates always have a way of building the connection with one another. for you and max, you've always been the voice instead the others head, the one thing that has always been a constant presence. but will that voice inside your head, ever be the voice you hear from in front of you?

By legal terms, a soulmate was defined as “person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.  This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust.” In today’s day and age, more often than not, your soulmate was that of romantic origin, a person you yearned for on a regular basis. 

It was something instilled in you at an early age, that everyone had a soulmate, but not everyone met their soulmate. Everyone had a way of interacting with their soulmate before they met. You learned early on, very early on, that you could interact with your soulmate through your mind. Through words, pictures, even internal conversations. But sometimes those interactions would lead to nothing, and your parents tried to ensure you were aware of that in the fear that you would be heartbroken one day.  

One thing you could never do was tell them your name, who you were, or where you were until it was time. It was like your mind would go elsewhere when you tried to tell the male on the other end who you were. He told you the same thing happened to him every time he tried.  

The both of you spent a plentiful amount of time interacting in your shared youth. He would often ramble on about his day, about go-karting, and his dad who he kind of hated but obviously loved, about his mum who he missed, and his sister who he couldn’t wait to see when she came to visit him wherever he was in the world. 

You would do the same, you’d tell him about the things you did that specific day, explain little things about your family, the things you looked forward to for the remainder of the week. It was something you both just got used to. 

The both of you grew up together. Even if it wasn’t physical, you were an emotional tether for one another when either of you needed it. He was there for almost all of your firsts, your first graduation, your first familial heartbreak, your first crush, your first boyfriend (which he was eager to help you through when it ended).  

Ever embarrassing to admit, he was even the one in your mind, more times than you can count, when you felt the butterflies in your tummy growing as your fingers explored different parts of your body. He always pushed you to continue, telling you exactly what he would do with his own fingers, or his own tongue; when he finally got the chance to make you feel the way you were making yourself feel. 

It was something you didn’t speak about after it happened, but it didn’t change the fact he was usually the one your brain went to when you made yourself feel that way. He argued it was the soulmate connection, that your soul just simply wanted him to be the one to do it. 

As time went on, the conversations dwindled amongst the two of you, both of you growing up and growing out of the fantasy that you would meet your soulmate one day, meet each other. 

You still got glimpses into his brain occasionally, pictures of blue and red cars, racecars are what you presumed. His fingers on what looked like a controller, but turned out to be a steering wheel when you asked him what it was. 

“Seems like a bit of an extravagant steering wheel, no?” 

The silent laugh was loud in your mind, as if you could feel his body rumbling in its laughter at your words, “Pretty extravagant, yeah. Not everyone gets to use something like this, though.” 

“Explain the steering wheel to me, there’s too many buttons and toggles,” you prompted him, knowing full well it would dive him deep into an explanation about the object you so often saw inside his head. 

That was another thing you learned about him early on. He liked to explain everything. He used to spend hours describing the go-karts he drove every weeknight and weekend, putting as much detail and emphasis into his explanations so that you would better understand. As time went on, so did his explanations, explaining situations he’s found himself in around the world, explaining how his career was kicking his ass but how he loved it, occasionally getting drunk and explaining how soulmates worked and that it was inevitable you’d meet one day, even if it felt like that day was never coming.  

Not wanting to be the one to burst his fantasy and ruin whatever hope he had, you would usually just nod along and silently hum to him when the conversation of eventually meeting one day was brought up. 

You still shared nights together, even from thousands of miles apart, your brain yearning for him as his did the same. 

There were moments in time, where you were positive you had almost met him, or perhaps had made eye contact with him. It was a small feeling inside of you, like everything you were looking for was in the same building as you, or around the corner, or even in the same city. 

Usually just as fast as the feeling appeared, it was gone. It never lasted for long periods of time, it was like your soulmate bond was teasing you, pushing for you to reinstate your faith in the connection. He always argued that if you lost faith in the soulmate bond, it would lose faith in trying to push the two of you together. 

Yet another thing you learned early on, whoever he was, arguing was in his blood. If he disagreed with you, with something you said, or with an opinion you had, he would go off into a whole explanation and argument about why he knew you were wrong, and how he knew he was right. 

It was endearing, how passionate he was about everything in his life, and seeing how his passion for everything just continued to grow as he grew up.  

Over the last 8 years, you had learned not to even attempt to communicate with him on Saturday or Sundays. He had told you that it was the busiest time of the work week for him, and that he couldn’t handle internal distractions on those days. 

You would only speak to him when he spoke to you on those days. Usually it was a fleeting ‘have a nice rest of your weekend’ or ‘I can’t wait until you’re here with me, celebrating this with me’.  

He never elaborated on the last part, and you never went out of your way to ask. Whoever he was, he was usually celebrating something on Sundays, at least that’s what you assumed from the raw happiness and elation that usually went through your connection on those days. 

You hadn’t heard from him, from your soulmate, in weeks. Which wasn’t necessarily unusual, either of you could cut off the connection for weeks at a time if things were stressful in life, or if you just needed a break from the never-ending person that was inside your head at all times. 

It didn’t mean you didn’t miss his dry sense of humour, the bluntness with which he said things to you, the never-ending arguments about the stupidest things. You would never admit any of this to him, though.  

Ignoring the yearning-feeling from inside of you, you allowed yourself to think about how things would be if you ever met the person on the other end of the connection. Would it be instant happiness? Relief? Joy? 

People always explained their own experiences to you, saying it was like love at first sight, but amplified so significantly, because it felt like your soul was complete, like everything was finally where it needed to be in life. They described it as meeting the one thing that made you whole, the one thing that made you continuously push to be your best self, to continuously push to be better at everything you did in life.  

You truly couldn’t believe what they said, not that it sounded exaggerated or silly. It was just difficult to imagine anything causing a feeling so instantaneously and intense as what they described.  

Your friends had disappeared earlier in the day, eager to try and find themselves different drivers throughout the entrances to get photos or autographs with. You really had no interest in any of it. Your soulmate had eagerly admired, and shit talked almost every single person on the grid to you, at least once or twice, so it really wasn’t worth trying to interact with any of them after that. 

Your paddock pass sat heavily on your chest, the lanyard rubbing against your neck as the bright Sun shined down upon your skin. The cheering of the Tifosi could be heard throughout the entire fan sections. The Ferrari faithful were dedicated, especially at their own Grand Prix. 

He had told you that Monza was one of the ones not to miss. That it was electric, regardless of who you drove for, even if the fans were booing your favourite driver, or your favourite team, it was a delight to drive in Monza. 

You found yourself staring at the different drivers names that were wrapped around the seating section. Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz, Lewis Hamilton, George Russell... Max Verstappen. 

He was handsome, that you could admit. With his pretty blue eyes, and his arrogant little smirk, and his annoying obsession with having to win.  

“Oh, you think Max Verstappen has pretty blue eyes, huh?”  

A small sound erupted from your chest as you listened to the words floating through your head from the man you hadn’t heard from in weeks. 

“Look who’s alive! Thought you got lost with your little controller steering wheel.” 

Laughing at your words, “You didn’t answer my question! You think Max Verstappen has pretty eyes?” 

“I think Max Verstappen himself is pretty. Other than when he’s being an arrogant prick.” 

That feeling had been eating at you all day, again. Like your soulmate bond was trying to force you to go in a direction you weren’t understanding. It was like it was trying to tell you that he was here, that he was so close you could almost smell him, almost touch him. You had been ignoring the little jabs inside of you all day, refusing to acknowledge the fact that maybe, just maybe, the person you were yearning for so heavily, was so close. 

“My soulmate just called me an arrogant prick, without realizing she was calling me an arrogant prick.”  

The Brit in front of him guffawed, his whole body moving as he gripped his side at Max’s words, “Mate, how did that even happen?” 

Shrugging his shoulders as he looked at Lando, “Not too sure. I haven’t heard from her in a few weeks, figured she had shut the connection off for some time alone and all of a sudden, she’s thinking about how ‘Max Verstappen has such pretty blue eyes’ and then told me that I’d... or he’d be attractive all the time if he wasn’t such an arrogant prick.”  

Patting his shoulder gently, all Lando did was grin at him, “Just think, mate. At least whoever she is, she thinks you have pretty eyes and that you’re good looking when you’re not being an arrogant prick.” 

Max shoved him as he walked by, walking away in the direction of his driver's room. He had been having that feeling again, like his body was yearning for something that it couldn’t explain to him. He had tried to ask a few people about it, had asked Sebastian in the past if it was something he had experienced before meeting Hanna. Of course, Seb hadn’t been much help when one considered the fact that he and his soulmate had met in their shared childhood. 

It wasn’t something he could ask either of his parents, both admitting long ago that they weren’t destined for one another and that they had never had a connection with their true soulmates, which allowed them to willingly marry each other. Victoria had met her soulmate and now husband when they were young as well, so she would be of no help. 

He was almost embarrassed to ask Christian, or any other older person who had already met their soulmate. He was a grown man, he could literally just google it if he wanted to, but what exactly would he type in? 

What is that weird yearning feeling I get every now and then, out of the blue, in random buildings or random cities? 

Max was almost positive the answer would be ‘allergies’ or ‘hunger’. He figured that maybe it was soulmate related, it would make sense, but it wasn’t a feeling he had often. It wouldn’t make sense to only yearn so heavily for your soulmate in certain areas. 

It was always the strongest when he felt like he was truly connecting with you. He noticed it for the first time when both of you had touched yourselves to the sound of the other, egging one another on, saying exactly what the both of you know the other wanted to hear. Max couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed that time with you, how intimate it was, how much he craved to be the one making you moan and whimper. 

The feeling always grew after that, the yearning for the other person, the desire to have you there with him, the desire to have you underneath him after a night of celebration, the desire to have you wrapped in his arms, the desire to send you an unnecessary bouquet of flowers... if he could just figure out who you were, all of that would be possible.  

But the yearning today was different. It was like his body was trying to tell him he needed to go somewhere, trying to encourage him to walk down halls he didn’t usually walk down, or trying to push him in directions that made no sense.  

“You gonna tell me why you’re thinking of Max Verstappen so much today, and why you’re thinking so much about his pretty blue eyes?” 

He could feel the involuntary smile reach his lips when he heard your soft laugh. He really tried not to be someone who was smitten with a person he had never met, but he couldn’t deny that he was in love with you, likely had been since the both of you were young.  

You were the one constant in his life, the one person he could always turn to when he needed someone. You listened to all his ranting, dealt with hours upon hours of ‘Maxsplaining’, dealt with unnecessary outbursts and temper tantrums, but you never complained about it. You always eagerly pushed for him to continue, asking him more and more questions, prompting him out of his head and prompting him to get over whatever frustration had pushed him over the edge that day.  

“If you must know. I’m at the Monza Grand Prix, and I had to get away from all the Ferrari fans for a bit, pretty sure they were going to blow my ear drums. Max Verstappen’s name is everywhere, so I, of course, had to internally acknowledge his attractiveness while grimacing at his name in front of me.” 

Max felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. You were here? In Italy? At the Monza Grand Prix? The same place where he was, at this very moment, at this very second?  

He could tell you were waiting for a response from him to your words. It was like he could sense the raise of your eyebrows from the silence that emitted between your connection.  

“You’re in Monza?” He questioned eagerly, his hands sweating as he waited for a response 

“Yes sir, just about to try and force myself to go find my friends and head back to the paddock so I can avoid getting trampled by any other Ferrari fans.” 

Max knew almost instantly that, that had to be what the feeling was. The yearning. You were close by, and his side of the soulmate connection knew it.  

He had tried to tell you who he was before, had tried to explain it to you in words that the connection wouldn’t muffle or meddle with. It never worked. Any time he tried to explain to you who he was, or what he did for a living, it was like his brain malfunctioned and he had to hotwire it back on. 

You had told him the same thing happened to you every time you tried to explain to him who you were, or the easiest ways to find you in the real world. Every time either of you tried, it was like the connection was shutting it down. 

Daniel had told him it was likely the bond, telling him it wasn’t the time yet, that the both of you had to wait until the bond was steady and ready for you to finally meet in person. Max had never believed it, until right now.  

You had never been able to tell him exactly where you were before, at least, not that he can ever remember. You had told him the things you were doing in the past, had told him the people you were spending time with, even that you were getting dinner in certain districts. Any time you had tried to tell him the restaurant, or the city even, the connection would malfunction. 

But you were just mentally able to tell him where you were, you were internally able to tell him where you were going in the place that you currently were. 

“I’m... I’m in Monza too. At the Grand Prix, I mean.” 

He could almost feel the instant shock and excitement at his words. Before he or you could get the chance to say anything else, he heard GP calling for him, the annoyed expression on his face an indication that he had been looking for Max for far longer than he actually wanted to be.  

“I have to get back to work. Please, don’t leave before you hear from me again. Maybe this is a sign.” 

You could practically feel the shock coursing through your body. Both of you were here. In Monza. At the Grand Prix. At the same time, together... but not together? You tried to contain the giddiness at his words, a silent hum in acknowledgement when he told you not to leave. How could you leave? Especially now that you knew he was here? And that he was working? 

It gave you some indication as to why he was always so busy on Saturdays and Sundays, if he worked for a Formula 1 team, or for Formula 1 in itself. Their biggest days of the week were the weekends, especially during race weeks. It made sense why he could never talk on those days of the week, or why he always seemed so happy or moody on Sundays. 

You couldn’t believe that both of you were able to tell each other where the other was, that the connection finally allowed you to give that little tidbit of important information to the other. Maybe it finally was time, maybe the connection was finally allowing you to meet the one person you had been yearning for, even if you tried to convince yourself that you weren’t.  

The text message to your friends asking where they were garnered a response, which prompted you out of your train of thought. Letting them know that you were on your way to their location, your brain moved back to the previous thought your mind was on. He was here, like truly here. Within the same 10 kilometers as you. Probably the closest either of you had ever been to each other before. 

Your friends greeted you eagerly when you finally found them, excitably telling you all about the drivers they had met, how Alex Albon even recognized two of them from previous Grand Prix and how they just knew Charles Leclerc was going to win today because the Tifosi were going crazy and how could you not win with all that support screaming for you? 

Nodding along with a smile on your face, you had an inkling they were wrong. Max Verstappen was likely going to get his tenth win in a row, but you weren’t going to say that to them.  

The drivers parade went by faster than you were expecting, before you knew it, the cars and their drivers were lining up in their respective places along the grid. Your friends eagerly itching for a better view of the upcoming race. You couldn’t even put the effort in to pay attention, wondering where he was right now.  

Was he working? Was he one of the mechanics? One of the pit crew, eagerly waiting for their driver to pull into their spot? One of the engineers, hoping their instructions and their drivers did as they were supposed to? You tried not to let your mind wander to the other possibility, but it was hard not to. 

What if he was one of the drivers? One of the 20 men now pushing themselves around the track at the fastest speed their car could take them? You tried not to stay on that thought too long, but your mind seemed to wander back to it.  

It would make sense, really. Whoever he is, he had been karting since he was a boy. His father had been unnecessarily forceful with him about it, always pushing him even when he was down, telling him that champions didn’t cry and that if he wanted to win everything one day, he had to act like he wanted to.  

He always made it seem like he was on top of the world on Sundays, like everything he ever wanted had happened that day. Would a mechanic, or an engineer, or someone from the pit crew consistently have that level of elation on Sundays?  

You knew it was possible, if they were working for a winning team, or a winning driver, and that driver was making their lives as easy as possible, then you knew it was definitely a possibility. You just couldn’t shake the idea that maybe, just maybe, it was one of the drivers. 

The crowd was cheering as eagerly as they possibly could, Verstappen had overtaken Sainz three laps prior after the Spainard had led for 15 laps straight. The Tifosi were relentless though, cheering as loud as they could for their two drivers. Your friends had resigned themselves to the fact that Verstappen was getting his tenth win in a row, which was slowly coming closer and closer as the time ticked down. 

It felt like time was zooming by; the minutes on the clock trickling down as the stadium waited for that last lap to start. Sainz was battling to keep Leclerc in fourth, doing everything in his power to keep the third podium spot he had rightfully earned. 

The checkered flag waved as the Red Bull car of Max Verstappen passed the finish line, a simultaneous cheer erupting within the crowd when the two red Ferrari’s passed the line with barely a second apart. 

That feeling inside of you, the yearning, it had been getting stronger and stronger throughout the race. Strong enough that you had to rub at your chest with a grimace more than once, ignoring the signs that obviously your soul connection was trying to give to you.  

The television in front of you showed Max Verstappen on the top of his car, both hands and 10 fingers up as he stared at the moving camera, an obvious celebration beginning as he ran towards his team. Verstappen jumped at them, right as you heard his voice in your head. 

“Where are you right now? I want to see you. I need to see you.” 

He sounded out of breath, but elated, as per usual on a Sunday. Must work for Red Bull then, you thought to yourself. 

“I don’t really know how to explain where I am, I’m in the Paddock Club with my friends.”  

Turning away from the screen, you tried to focus on the words coming through the connection. 

“Come to the area where you can go towards the garages, I’ll have someone tell security to let you in. What are you wearing? I don’t think you’ll be able to tell me your name yet, and I don’t want to risk fucking this up.” 

You had absolutely no clue how to find the area he was describing to you, explaining to him that you didn’t spend most of your time at Grand Prix’s unlike someone, apparently. All he did was laugh joyfully, explaining to you in simpler terms how to get to where he wanted you to go. 

“I have to go do a few more things, but just wait for me, okay? I’ll come to find you, the moment I’m done. I swear.” 

“I’ve waited for years; I think I can wait a few minutes more.” 

He didn’t verbally respond, but you could still feel the happiness, the sense of something you could only describe as adoration come through the connection before he shut it off again. It was obvious he had commitments, but it was disheartening knowing you still had to wait a few more minutes, that he wouldn’t be there waiting for you, behind whatever security guard you were going to have to verbally grapple with to be let behind the barricades. 

All you told your friends when you left was you had to go make a call, and that it may take a few minutes. They tried to argue with you, telling you the drivers were just about to do their post-race interviews and that it was always one of the best parts, but you simply brushed them off, eager to get to where you needed to be. 

It didn’t take you long to find where he had told you to go, his explanations as thorough and necessary as they usually were. Before you could even get a word out to the security guard, a tall brunette in a Red Bull shirt lightly tapped your shoulder and gestured for you to follow her, flashing her entry pass at the guard and pulling you along. 

“I’m Liv. I work in PR with Red Bull; I was told to wait for you. Sorry for just like... pulling you along. No one really gave me any explanation, just that I was told to look out for someone wearing the exact same outfit you are, and that it had something to do with a soulmate thing and I couldn’t get involved or ask questions.” 

“This pass will get you in and out of pretty much wherever you need to be in the Red Bull garage and areas nearby,” the brunette rambled on as the both of you walked, pulling a second entry pass from her back pocket to give to you. 

Both of you stopped in front of what only could be the hospitality lounge, if the plethora of food and drinks were any indication. You didn’t necessarily know where to go, or where to stand, so you looked back over at the brunette with confusion evident in your eyes. 

“Just wait here! He shouldn’t be long. Feel free to snack, or make yourself a tea, or you know... drink whatever really. I have to get back to work. Just like, don’t leave. I’ll probably get in trouble for that. Anyways, bye! Good luck!”  

Not giving you the chance to respond, Liv, as you learned previously, turned and basically ran out of the room. You were left alone in the hospitality area, everyone from Red Bull obviously still celebrating Max Verstappen’s tenth win in a row. 

You didn’t know what to do with yourself, deciding to sit down on one of the couches being the only real option you could decipher. The television was on low, the interviewer speaking to Sainz, Perez, and Verstappen. 

“You look eager to get out of here, Max. Big celebration planned for your tenth straight win?” 

The Dutchman chuckled, a cocky grin prominent on his face, “I have something I have to do after this, of course, though, not the celebration right away. I’m sure the team has a celebration planned, but it’s a bit arrogant of me to be involved in my own celebration party planning, no?” 

The interviewer laughed in response; you simply cocked your head at his words. Ironic that Max Verstappen would call himself arrogant, just hours after you had told him how arrogant you found Verstappen.

A few more questions zoomed by; your own thoughts preoccupied by the idea that your soulmate could be coming towards the room at any minute. The feeling in your chest, in your body as a whole, had grown substantially again since you sat down. What you didn’t notice was him grabbing his chest at the same time you did, rubbing it with a grimace as the yearning grew and grew. 

It didn’t take long for the interview to end, the television going back to the reporters as the drivers evidently went to go do whatever it is they do after their post-race interviews. 

You could hear someone walking down the hallway, which was strange considering how busy the Red Bull garage had to be right now. The steps grew louder as they got closer and closer to the room you were in, the door slamming open being the only thing to pull you out of your thoughts as you spun around. 

Making direct eye contact with your soulmate for the first time was exactly how everyone described it. It was instant, the feeling that seated itself inside your heart, inside your mind. It felt like you were whole, like everything you had done in the past 24 hours, let alone the past 10 years, had led you to this exact moment. 

You subconsciously moved off the couch, stepping in the direction of the man that was now eyeing your every move. You couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, whether he was happy, disheartened, you didn’t know. 

He stepped in your direction, just as you put another foot towards him. You could see the corners of his lips turning up, a smile starting to edge itself onto his cheeks.  

“I can’t believe you’re really here. In front of me. Like, a real person.” 

It was the same voice that you’ve heard in your head for years, except the words were coming from the mouth of the man in front of you, coming from the mouth of the man with the prettiest blue eyes you had ever seen. 

You barely had time to process anything before he had wrapped his arms around you, pulling you directly into his chest as you wrapped your own arms around his body.  

He was real. Everything you had yearned for, for years was real, and Max was right there, holding you in his arms as he pressed his lips against the crown of your head, not wanting to let you go. 

Max could barely contain his eagerness as he basically sprinted down the hall of the Red Bull garage after the end of the interview. Olivia had told him where she had brought you, telling you to wait in the hospitality lounge and that he’d be there to see you as quickly as he could get out. 

He couldn’t believe that you were really there. After spending years of talking to an invisible force inside his head, years of having a constant companion who he could turn to for internal comfort, you were barely seconds away from him. 

Max didn’t hesitate to throw the door of the lounge open, making eye contact with you just a second later. 

Everyone was right, the feeling you get when you finally meet your soulmate, the person that’s supposed to complete you in the best of ways. It was instant love, instant happiness, a feeling better than any win he had ever accomplished, a feeling that could barely be explained in one million words.  

He knew right then that he loved you, and when you smiled at him, he knew you knew it too.  

i am obsessed with the soulmate trope so this obviously got out of hand and way more descriptive than i intended. im hoping you all love it as much as i loved writing it!! let me know what you think

my requests are also open :)

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh

if you're interested in being added to my taglist, just send me a message/reply and ill add ya. i lost my list of who asked so if you weren't tagged and wanted to be pls let me know. (if your name has a strike through it, it wouldn't let me tag you)

[voxslays]

Helloooo! If your requests are open, could I request Adam and Alastor fighting for a fem!reader’s love

٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡

Im obsessed with those two so much I need them to fight over me asap 😭‼️🎀✨

ty for the request annonie! these two are both so goofy in their own ways lol-

ADAM AND ALASTOR FIGHTING OVER READER

First things first; the only time the two of them would interact on a semi-regular basis is if Adam either fell to hell or didn’t die and was trapped. You and Charlie—being the good, peace-loving souls you are find him and take him back to the hotel.

At first, everyone hates him (for a good reason). However, overtime, everyone learns to accept him…everyone except Alastor.

Alastor and you go way back—having known each other way before the hotel was ever in the picture. You were one of the only souls he trusted down in this hell hole. So when he sees you getting close to Adam, who he knows is not only pesky and annoying—but extremely dangerous, he is extremely angry.

Back to Adam, you were one of the only kind souls when he first arrived at the hotel. You put up with his angry outbursts (which had gotten much better since you had been in the picture) and overall showed care for him. So he slowly starts to fall head over heels for you!

But uh-oh! Alastor also has feelings for you too! Not the traditional kind—because he is very confused about how he feels—yet, he feels a very strong connection and longing for you.

Alastor is the type of guy to exploit Adam’s anger issues. He would totally use one of his tentacles to pop out and trip Adam as he’s walking by and just in general make his life a living hell.

Alastor would go out of his way to make Adam seem like the undesirable option of the two of them by making Adam go into his angry rages about why sinners are terrible—even though he is one.

Adam would serenade you every night on his guitar, singing you rock songs about love as you drift off into dreamland.

Alastor would dedicate every single one of his broadcasts to you, saying how he never could’ve gotten to where he is without your love and support—even though that is NOT true. Alastor would do his absolute best to butter you up as much as possible. Even going as far to offer a soul deal, which you immediately (politely) decline.

Either way, no matter which one you choose—the one you pick WILL rub it in to the ‘losers’ face. These two could never be poly together, especially after their battle in episode eight.

[ohithankyou]

the buck baking of it all being a continuous thread since buck and tommy broke up has quite honestly been a (pleasant) surprise to me. this show isn’t one to carry such threads and narrative beats for longer than a few episodes because (my guess is) they want to avoid redundancy and help the characters and audience move forward to the next thing—whatever that may be. and yet, buck baking has been present in every episode since the breakup (save for episode nine) and has, in almost every case, existed within the context of an explicit conversation about tommy/buck missing tommy and wanting to call him.

and for this very reason, we know the choice to let buck’s baking continue is a deliberate one with some level of purpose. this thread was immediately connected to tommy—buck missing him and wanting to reach out but baking in an effort to stop himself from doing so—and that has not changed or taken a new meaning (as we saw in the last episode where buck was baking and wanting to call tommy). and continuing to let this thread extend and exist and be redundant to the extent they have, to me, shows: (one) that even though tommy hasn’t been (until episode eleven) physically present in buck’s life after the breakup, he is not some far gone memory but someone who buck actively misses and thinks about on a regular basis. and (two); that buck and tommy’s relationship is still an active part of the narrative, not something being faded out. and (three); they want us, the audience (and buck) to not move on or forward from tommy/bucktommy.

[malvolios-yellow-stockings]

fellas is it gay to be a directionless lonely insomniac approaching your 30s without having accomplished heterosexual milestones of settling down and having kids and also not having an outlet to exorcise your feelings of loneliness, shame, dejection and inadequacy, being a faceless consumer in the age of neoliberal hegemony who is unable to form meaningful human connections or feel pleasure in any meaningful capacity. is it then gay to only be vulnerable in support groups where others believe you are dying or seriously ill, in groups where you are frequently embraced by other men who share your sense of urgency, in the only context where everyone can get over being temporarily embarrassed and ashamed of their flood of emotions?

is it then gayer that this scheme you built for yourself is obstructed when a woman disrupts the all-male group you go to and that woman is everything you don't want yourself to be - a "weak person", outwardly self-loathing and ironic, painfully self-aware, lethargic and hysterical at the same time, undoubtedly feminine and carelessly vulnerable and only violent towards herself, never others (maybe that she’s free in all the ways you are not)? is it gayer still that this disruption triggers the appearance of another "man" in your life who is your own edgy, idealised version of maleness, masculinity & manhood. (is it gay that you show your anger and jealousy towards this woman, expressing your distaste by saying “if only i had wasted a couple of minutes and gone to watch marla singer die and none of this would’ve happened” after your idealised man saves her from suicide and has sex with her very loudly so you can hear (“i could’ve moved to another room… where i might not have heard them. but I didn’t”?) Is it gayer still that you reject her advances multiple times later on while loudly expressing your disinterest in her sexually)

fellas is it gay that this man turns your life upside down, convincing you to found a club that by definition and principle excludes women (“it’s for men only”), where men intimately fight underground, in a dark basement on an increasingly regular basis and where your fighting partner is almost always different every time, where you recognize each other in the wild but are instructed not to be publicly open about your membership to this secret fraternity of sorts (almost resembling the dynamics of gay cruising and hook-up culture)? is it gay that your previous need to be embraced by men in a no-questions-asked context is replaced by the same but different mechanism/ritual, this time with expected, welcomed and consensual violence intricately tying your idea of freedom and therefore pleasure with pain? fellas is it gayer still that the guy who taught you to embrace and overcome that pain lives with you and kisses your hand before leaving a chemical burn there in a shape suspiciously resembling lips?

is it gay to semi-ironically describe your co-habitation with him as married life, comparing yourselves to ozzie and harriet while tying this guy's tie, this action making you the (house)wife of the pair, then later on basically imagining that he slaps your ass after handing you beer to serve other men with? is it really gay that you get jealous of the two people this idealised man you live with shows deference to interest in? first the woman you yourself previously showed no (outwardly sexual) interest in and who was established as a kind of a rival (wherein it was impossible for both of you to be satisfied in the same way at the same time, who invades your power animal coping mechanism sequences, and whom you later embrace as an ally and quite possibly a part of yourself) and then another guy whom you then monstrously, savagely beat after feeling an "inflamed sense of rejection" and explain ruining his body by saying you “felt like destroying something beautiful"? fellas is it gay that this idealised confident man dresses eccentrically and flamboyantly, accessorises rings and big colourful fuck-you-glasses, mesh shirts etc. going against the subdued yuppie masculinity of corporate male America, who is free in all the ways you aren't and who spews (and seduces you with) anti-social undercooked anti-capitalist rhetoric and pseudo-scientific cool guy bullshit which goes against mainstream society bro!, who uses his job/pass time as a projectionist to smuggle pornographic imagery into family films (and who represents your own violent subconscious lurking in you in the form of a penis appearing for less than a second right at the end of the film?) and who tells you that maybe neither of you need women in your lives, while you discuss your absent father figures. is it gay when he spits his own blood into the mouth of a presumed gangster telling the gangster "you don't know where i've been lou" in a time where the impact of AIDS is looming large and heavy over everyone, but is inextricably tied to gay/queer men and IV drug users?

is it gay (of the repressed, self-hating variety) to create a whole fella you can pine after and effectively beat yourself up after he picks you up to live with him and punch the lights out of another dude you recognize is beautiful because the imaginary best boy friend you created in your head, that being you, has possibly experienced homo lust which is becoming increasingly hard to suppress?

and fellas is it gay to want to be tyler and want him at the same time?

is it also gay when... [gunshot]

[ejudollz]

hello hellooo its my turn to send you an ask hehe literally before i decided to revamp my blog i was already following and reading your posts and every single one of them makes me wanna pull my hair out because HELLO????? do i wanna ruin or do i wanna get ruined....!!! also thank you so much for enjoying my posts as well i really really appreciate that i literally never expected it at all....

but anyway continuing our conversation, sub!&team and self edging!!!!! could be whilst they're fucking you, or masturbating (while on tour 😁), the possibilities are endless :" would love to hear your thoughts on this hehe

hiiii!!! im sure u don't remember sending this ask im sorry i took so long 😭 i hope it was worth the wait and i hope you enjoy <3!!! also still enjoying ur posts and thank u for enjoying mine 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ hehe.. anyways let's get into it!!

yudai

self pleasure is one of the best ways to connect with yourself and to treat yourself. yudai values time alone, he values the connection he creates with himself. he enjoys exploring his body and spending time feeling himself all over. masturbation is the best way to do this, you learn what you like and enjoy it while you figure it out. yudai loves to edge himself, he loves to elongate his play time. he'd bring himself right to the edge of release, his legs tensing up and he feels the sensitivity creep up his length right before he let's go. he'd sigh out, breathing heavily as he feels his orgasm slip away. it's satisfying, his self restraint is something he's proud of. he could so easily make himself cum but he won't.. he wants to do well.. he wants to beat his own personal goal. 

fuma

self edging involves having restraint and that's one thing that fuma has. if you asked him to edge himself until you're with him again he would do it with no questions asked. he enjoys edging himself just for the fun of it. he wants to test himself, see how long he can hold it, see how sensitive he can make himself. he would even give you little updates about how it's going. sub fuma takes it very seriously when you ask him to edge until you can come play with him. he'd want to do so well for you, whining and tensing as he films himself for an update for you. he'd sound so pretty like this, never holding back his whines. his voice would go raspy from how much he grunts and whines during this process. it's gotten to the point where he's training himself to last, almost playing a game with himself. no matter how many times he edges himself he would still get so frustrated. he'd be so winded and exhausted but he doesn't want to give up yet <3

nicho

he likes to edge for you without you even asking him to. i think nicho would love to play around with intense sensations so getting himself so close to the edge before sex even starts is so perfect for this. he would get himself crazy riled up and so close to the edge before you've even started doing anything. he wants the challenge of trying not to instantly cum when you touch him slightly. he's so on edge that it feels like the moment you touch his skin literally anywhere on his body he's gonna cum. your touches would be like fire on his skin. his cock would already be so red and his mind would already be mush.. he'd be so fun to play with like this. he can barely think straight when you ask him simple things. 

euijoo

euijoo is full of surprises on a regular basis but i feel like he would be full of even more sexually. he would always pop out in the moment with new ideas that would drive you crazy. you'd be dragging yourself up and down his length, he'd be getting so so close to his orgasm. you hadn't thought about edging him before, not yet at least. he'd suddenly stop you, sucking him a breath and gently pressing his thighs together. he'd ask you not to make him cum and he'd slowly feel his orgasm slipping away. he'd produce a noise you'd never heard from him before and you'd watch his face twist in all kinds of ways. he'd want to try this a few times, he wants to see how hard he cums at the end of this. he'd keep telling you when to stop, when he's about to cum, and how close he is. he'd edge himself through your hand and would cum mind-numbingly hard after. 

yuma

yuma in a way loves to torture himself.. he knows what his limits are yet he always wants to push them. when you edge him or play with him he always reaches a point where he feels like if he doesn't cum now he's gonna explode and die. he would wanna push that limit so badly. he'd put aside time for it, wouldn't stop when he feels himself losing control. he wants to be able to show off for you next time, wants you to see him go past his usual limit. by this point his body would be reacting so much to each time he edges. his stomach would tense so hard it feels like he did an ab workout. he'd shut his eyes so tightly and would hold his breath, doing anything in his power to hold off his orgasm once again. 

jo

jo would discover edging by accident.. he'd be playing around with himself, just trying out new things, playing with new sensations. it would a thing where he's rutting against a pillow, trying so hard to get himself off but he'd lose his pace just as he's about to cum. usually he gets past this point and actually cums but not this time.. he'd feel his orgasm slowly dwindle away and it would be like something clicked in his mind. he'd like the slight feeling of despair that comes along with losing your high.. he'd try it a few times, noticing how sensitive he starts to get. i think he'd keep going until he feels physically weak. the orgasm he had that day had him wanting to be vocal in ways he never had before. it would become a habit for him and eventually would get decently good at edging himself.. when it's with a partner however.. i feel like he'd be back at square one. 

harua

harua loves to be a little princess for you when he's submissive. he doesn't want to have to do anything, he wants to relinquish all control and have you take care of him. when he acts up or when you think he needs a punishment, one of the best ways is to have him edge himself. he lacks the control to do so and he also doesn't like to do anything when he knows you could just do it for him. normally you'd edge him, normally you'd make him feel good so why should he do it!! he'd feel so vulnerable like this, you're watching him and guiding his every movement. he's touching himself yet he still has no control. he so badly wants to just make himself cum but he wouldn't dare.. not with you watching him like this. he has to ignore the ache in his arm and the throbbing of his desire, he has to be good for you. 

taki

any challenges you throw taki's way is a challenge he's ready to take on. he loses his mind the quickest when he's inside of you so when you give him the opportunity to show you how well he can last while inside of you he tries so eagerly. you'd allow him to control his own pace, choose when to stop, and choose when he's at his limit. normally you control all of these things for him so he would want to do just as well as he does when you're in control. you know it's hard for him to hold himself together, you know sometimes he gets himself off way too fast so it's fun seeing him consciously edge himself. he'd make you feel so good and would bring himself to the edge so many times just to be good for you. he'd be shaking slightly between your legs, his breathing becoming more and more shaky as well. he wants to show you how long he can hold off.. he would honestly want to go past the limit that you normally set for him. 

[girl-lostconnection]

Fun funny idea that helldivers have a difficult time creating connections with other people, they’ve seen so many of their own die and not mention seen so much violence (I have seen helldivers whole bodies torn apart with only a torso left). I feel like they’d have a hard time connecting with normal folk but they have a difficult time explaining just why that is, so they instead just tend to stick with other helldivers when it comes to socialization. They won’t make too close of a connection since they know they could each die in any mission, but it’s still SOMETHING, something that makes them feel human again for even just a moment. Something to make them feel less like cogs in a machine that demands for blood and guts, and instead more like people, scarred, broken and bruised to all hell but still a person or at the closest they can get to being a human again after all they’ve gone through

Anon, you have such a big brain. You evil genius, let me affectionately pat your shoulder

Also you are so right because as far as I know it’s very common even for regular soldiers to stay within their military friends circles because when you return from battle it’s just…feels weird.

I can imagine Reader straying away a little from TaskForce 141 because they are military, yes, but they are not Helldivers. They don’t understand how it is.

So imagine feeling a little too out of place on some pompous gathering, different branches and soldiers all in one place, claping each other’s shoulders and grinning widely.

They know each other. Lucky for them not to move from planet to planet, lucky for them not to see what you see on daily basis.

Soap is hanging out nearby, as if feeling your discomfort, because gatherings like this require to be in formal attire and god knows after synthetic fabrics of your Scout armour the natural wool feels itchy.

You don’t know anyone here, you are both figuratively and literally so alien in here. A soldier from a different dimension. A soldier from a war none of these people participated in.

Kyle carefully herds you back to the corner when you almost sneer at some navy admiral, who jokes about you keeping helmet on. Who jokes about the cape of your uniform.

Man of his station is supposed to know that it’s mandatory part of your uniform. Man of his station is supposed to recognise that cape is Helldiver’s honour. A symbol of the branch as a whole. An insignia of all your sacrifices.

The mood shifts when a new group walks in the room, boots too heavy, uniform just a hairspread of being an armour, capes behind each and every one of them.

Your whole face lights up as you make your way to them through the crowd, the pack of four Helldivers perking up when they notice you pushing through them.

You salute the group, eyes quickly scanning the ranks of them, your body practically vibrating with excitement.

Finally, that’s someone who you can properly mingle with.

Helldivers circle around you, greeting you properly, their capes — different colours and patterns, signifying specialisation of each of them. Demolitions, terminid exterminator, ranger, medic — you have never met them before and they don’t know you, but it doesn’t matter in this moment.

Because in this room, there is no one else who would understand you better. There is no one else you’d rather chat with about the last improvements on the battlefield or the latest updates to the ship, cackling when the ranger of their team jokes about stealing you and the bright head of yours.

It’s lovely. You haven’t had this much fun in ages and maybe that’s why you don’t notice immediately the shift in the mood all around you.

Other soldiers pulling away, command watching you with barely concealed disapproval. They can’t say anything to you — the gathering was organised specifically for soldiers to mingle but you can see how uncomfortable your lot makes them.

Weird soldiers. Wild soldiers. Alien soldiers.

Rumour mill is already turning, pack around you tensing up and pulling back as well. But they are pulling back with you. They aren’t leaving you behind.

It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know each other until ten minutes ago, it doesn’t matter that your due is all that ties you together. None of it matters.

Once Helldiver — always Helldiver. And your lot may be wild and rowdy and alien to these folks. But they aren’t to you. And you aren’t to them.

So when their demolitions expert hooks his arm over your elbow and pulls you back, you don’t protest instead chatting them up about grenades they usually use.

And when their medic and exterminator “accidentally” position themselves so they could cover you both, you just murmur quiet thanks.

They are the biggest of the team, moving like a well-oiled machine — practiced ease of it testament to years of service together, testament to many such gatherings and unfriendly faces.

Exterminator of their team bumps your hip with theirs and slings their arm over your shoulder — their side pressing into yours, warm and human. Silent reminder to cheer up.

It doesn’t matter whether or not others like you, whether or not you are even welcome here. While these shitty parties have at least one Helldiver you will never be alone. You will always be part of the team and part of the family.

That day, when you leave the gathering your tracker blinks with four new connections.

Your shoulders still aching from how hard you hugged the whole pack of your new comrades before saying goodbyes.

141 just watches you silently, Kyle’s fingers tightening when Helldivers they don’t know (though what difference does it make) touch you, like you are theirs. Like they can just take you to themselves, like they don’t even have to steal you away — you’d go willingly, naturally gravitating towards those who understand you better. Towards those who aren’t regular soldiers.

Kyle doesn’t miss the way the tallest of the team, stares down anyone who’d like to approach your little gathering. Helldiver’s bright, ridiculously flashy cape — blue with orange attracting way too much attention.

In nature those who are so colourful are the most poisonous.

Soldier catches Kyle’s gaze and tilts his head to the side, their helmet a menacing angular thing with scribbled “one shot - one kill” just above the visor.

A sniper.

“Like a bloody fortress, aren’t they?”, John hums, nursing his glass, eyes trailing the whole group, eyes hardening when another Helldiver presses themselves against you with ease that grates on John’s nerves. Fucking wanker.

John doesn’t miss the way others in the room steer clear of the group.

John also doesn’t miss that Helldivers themselves aren’t too keen on mingling with anyone but each other. That they keep their packmates on inside and guarded tightly, that they aren’t the biggest fans of anyone but each other.

John doesn’t miss the way Helldivers hook in on each other and hold tightly, pushing away everyone else away.

Dangerous bunch. Entirely too co-dependent and entirely too unruly.

Just a matter of time before it blows up in someone’s face.

[munsonluhvr]

where might an enemies to lovers but reader only really pretends to hate him because she thinks he hates her and she can’t stand that because he’s so kind and nice with everyone else but her and then one day after him just being so mean to her whether it was joking or not she just breaks request get me

A SERIES OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS

thank u for this request, I hope u like it! it's such a cute concept bc I can actually see a scenario like this happening w Steve in real life. also, once again, I used a movie to influence the one-shot.. this week it's a scene from twilight where Bella and Edward are in biology class hahaha. shout out to everyone who gets it.

synopsis: king!steve harrington x fem!reader - sfw. after seeing steve be kind and nice to everyone except you, you crack and confront him. word count - warnings: bullying (?), kinda rude, stereotypical king steve. light cursing.

There he is. So sweet, so kind to everyone but you. You watch from across the hall as Steve greets his friends with a slap on the back, offering a friendly smile. The girls of Hawkins High provide flirty smiles, small handwaves in Steve’s direction as they pass by; giggles falling out of their perfectly glossed lips when he returns the pleasantries. It makes you sick to watch; you roll your eyes in response to the scene playing out in front of you. 

You turn, swiftly unlocking your locker to switch your textbooks out for your next class. Laughter behind you causes you to turn and looking over your shoulder, watching as Steve leans against a row of lockers, telling a story animatedly. Just then, Steve glances over in your direction, his eyes connecting with yours. A passive looks brushes across Steve’s face, his eyebrows furrowing as he makes eye contact with you, the corners of his mouth turning downwards.  The group standing all around Steve towards you, their eyes following Steve’s. They look equally displeased, wondering why Steve is looking at you and not them. 

You turn quickly towards your locker, slipping your biology textbook out and shutting the door of your locker shut. As you walk away, towards your classroom, you hear snickers following you, Steve’s voice low and critical. You clutch your textbook to your chest, wondering what you did to Steve to hate you. 

It was only recently that you began taking note of Steve’s behavior towards you. It was very simple and clear – he was nice to everyone else but you. You racked your brain, attempting to figure out why Steve would be holding a grudge towards you, you two didn’t typically interact on a regular basis, so the reason why remains unknown. 

You trudge forward, heading towards your next class. You sigh to yourself, thinking how Steve is also in this class and you will be forced to face him once again today. You make your way down the busy hallway, dodging past people who are in a hurry to get to their next period. In only a few minutes, you make it to your classroom, greeted by a low murmur from the students that already are seated. You take a seat in the backrow at the lab tables that serve as your desk. 

You bend forward in your seat, keeping your head down. This is your last period of school, the relief of being able to go home on the horizon. All you have to do is make it through Biology. Unfortunately, life has other plans for you today. 

Chatter begins to pick up suddenly and you assume it’s either your teacher or Steve. You peek through your lashes in the direction of the classroom entrance – it’s Steve. After lingering for a few seconds with other classmates, he sits himself on the other side of them room, but not without one last glance in your direction. Your eyes flick down as his eyes take you in briefly, and you shift uncomfortably in your seat. 

“All right class,” Mr. Lewis, your biology teacher, says. He shrugs his jacket off, folding it neatly over the back of his chair.  “We’ll be doing pair work today. I’ve already made the pairs, if you all want to come up and see who you’re working with.” 

Stools squeak against the floor as your classmates scramble to Mr. Lewis desk to see who their partners with. You don’t move, you know who ever you’re paired up with will find you. In the front of the classroom, you hear people giggle with excitement that they’ve being paired up with their friend. You sit patiently, head bent over your biology textbook, waiting for your partner to come join you. 

You hear a cough, someone clearing their throat, right beside you and you look up, the feeling of dread filling your stomach as you make eye contact with Steve. “We’re partners, I guess.”

You say nothing, turning back to your textbook, breaking eye contact with Steve. Steve sits beside you awkwardly, silence setting in between you uncomfortably. Tension makes you feel like Steve is a million miles away even though he’s right beside you. Your head begins to ache, wishing the hour-long class would end quickly. 

Once everyone is settled in their seats, with their new partners, Mr. Lewis begins to describe the task at hand – looking at different cells through the microscope and organizing them into categories. Already you’re bored to death. 

Steve sighs, reaching out to pull the microspore that sits at the end of the table between both of you. “Let’s just get this over with,” Steve mumbles under his breath. 

You look at Steve, pushing down the emotion to yell out and ask him what you ever did that made him hate you so much. You clench your jaw, feeling the muscles tense together. Not having a shy bone in your body, you pull the microscope in front of you, taking the slides that Mr. Lewis passed out to each table, and placing one under the lens. “I’ll just do it since you’re always late to this class and probably don’t even know what a cell is supposed to look like under a microscope.” 

Steve gapes at you, your abruptness sudden. “I-I know what a cell looks like, y/n.” Your heart flutters to your dismay; you hate to admit it, but the sound of Steve saying your name is heavenly. 

You scoff, pinching your eye to look into the microscope. “Uh huh.” 

“Whatever, this assignment is bullshit anyway.” Steve says, running a hand through his hair. Steve leans onto the desk, his eyes wandering around the classroom, looking at how everyone else is progressing through the assignment happily. Steve attempts to stay preoccupied, distracting himself from the way his heart beats rapidly as he sits next to you. 

Silently, you work by yourself to organize the cells correctly, ensuring that you get it right. Steve, on the other hand, sits beside you silently, his eyes trained away from you. 

You look up, distracted, as Heather, one of your classmates and Steve’s biggest fan, turns in her seat. “Steve?” she says, her eyelashes fluttering. “Did you finish already? Wow, you’re so smart.” You can’t help but roll your eyes, Heather’s attempt at flirting with Steve failing miserably – at least to you. Steve leans forward, a large grin on his face as he drinks up Heather’s compliments; disregarding the fact that you sit beside him, doing all the work by yourself. 

You listen as Steve flirts obnoxiously with Heather, and you start to really see how different Steve treats you compared to everyone else. He’s so friendly with everyone, yet so dismissive of you. You sigh, louder then you expected to, and Steve glances at you but says nothing. 

In the front of the class, Mr. Lewis claps, signaling that the pair work is over. One by one, he goes through the correct order of the slides, and you’re pleased to find out that you did it all correct. Class continues, uneventful at most, and you notice how tense Steve is sitting beside you, his long legs confined to the narrow stool he sits on, his body leaning away from you. You frown, attempting to pay attention to class. 

Once class ends thirty minutes later, Steve is quick to slide off the stool, sauntering over to the other side of the classroom where he originally chose to sat – far away from you. By the time you pack your backpack up again, waiting so that Steve is the first to leave. Steve lingers around after class, conversing with some of the boys in the class. Though, Steve eventually stands off, beginning to walk out of the classroom and down the hallway. 

You’re close behind, not wanting to be in Steve’s line of eyesight. You walk out after Steve and watch as he turns left out of the door, you turning right to go back to your locker. However, you pause, contemplating your next move. 

It’s become unbearable to try and dodge Steve every day of school, being tense within every class you share with him. Truthfully, you’ve racked your brain on numerous occasions to understand why Steve doesn’t like you, why he treats you poorly compared to everyone else in Hawkins High. He even treats Jonathan Byers better who now dates Steve’s ex-girlfriend, Nancy. So, what issues does Steve have with you? 

Quickly, you turn on your heel, beginning to trail Steve in the hallway. Your fists clench as you quicken your pace to reach Steve. “Steve!” you call, gathering strange looks from others passing by in the hallway. Steve looks over his shoulder, his eyes widening when he sees that you are who called his name. 

“What?” Steve says as he watches you approach him, wedging himself against the row of lockers that line the wall to allow other people to pass by. 

“What do you mean, what, you have to explain to me what I’ve done to you to make you hate me,” you say with a huff. 

Steve frowns, his mouth pouting a little. “What are you talking about?” He says, bending towards you, his voice low. “I definitely don’t hate you.” 

You scoff, crossing your arms across your chest. “Oh, please, Steve. You constantly give me dirty looks, dismiss me while you flirt and be nice with other girls. I don’t understand, I’ve thought back to all the times we’ve talked, which aren’t that many by the way, and I don’t remember where I could have made you mad.” Your voice raises with each word you say, your cheeks beginning to fluster with heat. “Just tell me, Steve.”

Steve looks away from you, noticing that people pause to look at you and he standing, essentially bickering. Steve sighs, grabbing your forearm, his long fingers warm against your skin. “Come with me.” 

You reluctantly follow Steve, watching as he pushes a darkened classroom door open, dragging you inside. “I don’t hate you.” He mumbles, his eyes connecting with yours. They’re big and brown, twinkling against the dim lights. 

“So, then what’s the problem?” 

Steve leans against the desk at the front of the classroom, his head shaking as he looks towards the floor. “I like you, okay?” 

You frown, suddenly at a loss for words. He likes you? Who likes someone and treats them terribly? “You like me?” 

Steve nods, not looking at you still. “don’t you remember I tried to hand you a flyer to my party, and you ignored me? I just assumed you thought I was an asshole and I guess I started acting like one.” 

You think back, remembering the instance Steve references. You had been walking out of biology class a few weeks before, and Steve had been handing out bright orange flyers to one of his famous parties. Sure, he had tried handing you a flyer as you passed by, but you weren’t into parties, and you didn’t think he was specifically trying to invite you to one of his parties. You two didn’t really know each other so that assumption made sense. 

“Funny way to show that you like me, Steve. I didn’t think-“ you begin to say, beginning to get discouraged. “I didn’t think you were inviting me to the party, I thought you were just handing them out. You didn’t have to act like an asshole, we could have just talked.” 

Steve sighs again, running a hand through his now messy hair. “I know, I’m an idiot. I guess it was a misunderstanding and I read it wrong – it’s my fault.” 

Silence falls between you and Steve, his apology lingering in the air. You think about this, how boys are just so stupid sometimes. Though you can’t help but smile, Steve’s affection making you blush. Now that you understand Steve’s mindset and why he’s treated you in such a way, you have to acknowledge that you find Steve attractive, his boyish looks making your heart flutter. 

“So, you like me, huh?” 

Steve nods, his cheeks beginning to flush with a tint of pink. “Yeah. A lot, actually.” You smile, biting at your own lips. What a revelation this is. You’re glad you followed Steve. 

Though you’re sure Steve is about to ask you out, you decide to beat him to it, knocking his ego down a few pegs. “Then you should definitely take me out. Preferably this weekend.”

Steve nods, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “How does picking you up at 7 sound?” 

You nod, folding your hands in front of you. “That’s perfect.”

[kyoshitargaryen]

experiences shifting to Hogwarts

I've shifted multiple times — rarely to my scripted DRs, but I've shifted dozens of times to realities similar to them or within the potterverse. here's some of my experiences! a lot of them vary since a majority of the time, I'm not shifting to scripted places. @elegantcath; @butterycroissant; @etheriaaly

hopefully this all makes sense bc I wrote this on no sleep lol

background

I'm a slytherin, so this is very much based around my experience in that house along with the perceptions regarding it. it definitely does impact my relationships with people and the professors. my DRs are also University DRs. remember, I most often shift to random realities and not to places I scripted, so there can be some variation in how things work.

about hogwarts

the first week of lessons of first year are quality-of-life lessons. think warming charms, the summoning charm, locking and unlocking (especially important for the students who share dorms), reparo, stuff you would need on a daily basis or for basic survival.

I scripted that we use Floo Flames within Hogwarts to get to different floors and corridors and our common rooms efficiently. you basically just have to put your hand in and name a corridor you wish to go to, and you floo there instantly. the best part? no mess! since you're just putting your hand in, it's easily brushed off. no soot or floo powder sticking on you all day. problem? you still have to walk to Hogsmeade, unless you're physically disabled. if you are, you get to floo through Headmaster Dumbledore's office — but you have to be escorted with your head of house.

the uniforms and robes are spelled to be extremely long-lasting. they don't fray or degrade where regular clothing might. they're also magically tailored, so they grow or shrink based on your size. there's no need to replace them, but many opt to as a show of wealth.

I scripted that I have my own dorm room since I'm autistic and need alone time. some students can pay a higher tuition to be alone or pay a lower one to share a dorm. there are also accomodations for disabled students.

there are hampers in the dorm rooms! I'm not sure if there's one per bed in the shared rooms, but there's definitely one in my solo room. they're spelled to be "bottomless" so you can shove all of your clothes, your sheets, your comforter in without problem. at midnight every night whatever's in there is sent to be washed by house elves and delivered back in the morning. I think there might be an option for "housekeeping" where the house elves change your sheets, but I prefer to keep others out of my room as much as possible lol so they just put my sheets on top of my trunk and my clothes in my wardrobe.

I've shifted to multiple realities where they have different dorm and common room configurations. in my DR, it's simply long corridors of dorms connected to the larger common room. the hive configuration: there's a main common room, which acts as the heart of the House. it's very large and spacious, with plenty of ways to entertain oneself. it's almost like a large ballroom. then there are smaller common rooms that are connected to dorms, laid out like honeycombs. there were 5 individual dorms connected to the smaller common room, where there was a kitchen and shared bathroom. this was the "living room" of the hive for the people whose dorms were attached to it. it's kinda like there were little houses within a larger house. the winding configuration: like how the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers go up, this configuration for Slytherins winds down. it's like a spiral staircase of rooms. the maze configuration: I hated this one with my whole soul. if I ever shift there again I will be shifting back immediately. I won't bother exploring. I don't think it can get worse than this. the maze configuration is some awful mix between the maze in the triwizard tournament and the moving staircases. it's awful and so easy to get lost. it's interesting in that there are false walls so if you accidentally make a wrong turn, you can find your way back, but you're probably not going to figure out the floorplan of that until you're in your 7th year. I think it's a way to enclose a large amount of rooms within a small space. I'm not sure if the different floorplans of the maze correspond to different years, but I....there's no words for it. the only benefit of it was there was a large spa-like room if you could find the heart of it. it was like the prefect's bathroom but better. almost like a hot spring.

there's two ways that the dorm rooms change by year that I've encountered; a longer explanation; the first years are always closest to the common room. as you reach different years in your education, your dorm room will move down (or slide down if it's the winding configuration, or move out if you're in the hive configuration) to make room for the first years. there's no structural change to your room or even the area surrounding it. it looks no different than it did before, there's just a new number of doors you have to pass before you reach yours. there's only been a couple of times where there was an elevator for the dorm rooms, with each year on a different level, but generally it seems it's just a walking game. simple explanation; the dorms spread out from the common room like dendrites do a nerve (or the fingers do a palm), so the students in a house are spread evenly through the "fingers", so the walk isn't that long. the first way the years are separated are through flooring. there's a staircase where the different landings correspond to different years. the second way I've seen is they simply move down in a line, meaning a longer walk.

I'm like 90% sure there's an amplification spell cast on the podium where Dumbledore gives his speech and the frog choir performs.

the benches in the great hall have warming charms on them in the winter. I'm not sure if this is a natural feature of Hogwarts or if someone who came before me charmed the bench. they are still definitely uncomfortable.

the robes are not insulated; instead, we use warming charms! I love putting warming charms on ear muffs.

hogsmeade and the hogwarts express

I've only managed to get to Hogsmeade once. it was a completely accidental shift to a reality where I hadn't even considered shifting to at that time — Hogwarts Legacy. Sebastian, Ominus, and myself were sitting in a corner booth at the Three Broomsticks. the most I can share from that experience was that Sebastian sprayed whipped cream on my butterbeer, so I guess you're meant to put it on by yourself? I'd order it without whipped cream anyway so I'm not sure if it would come with or if you're meant to put it on yourself.

the glass in the hogwarts express frosts over when someone is getting dressed. people don't usually go to a bathroom to change, they just change in the compartment. people of different sexes usually wait out in the hallway. tbh this is what I always pictured when reading the books so this may be subconsciously scripted.

the hogwarts express magically accommodates the people on board. there's always just enough compartments and just enough train carts for everyone — though it won't go out of its way to make a new compartment just so you don't have to share.

general wizarding world facts

each wizarding school has a magical tome that lists out the students who are able to enroll at the school. there are multiple different ways to qualify for enrollment; location-based, where you're within the country or countries the school represents; legacy-based, where one of your ancestors within a certain number of generations attended the university or if you're a descendant of someone notable like Merlin or a Founder; sponsor-based, where someone of recognition has recommended your enrollment to the school

places where there's a lot of muggle-traffic like King's Cross have limited repello muggletum cast within a certain range of places of high wizarding-traffic, like the entrance to Platform 9¾. since it's so limited, it doesn't keep muggles from walking near the area, it instead forces their attention away from it. this is how there are wizarding entrances in muggle places while still maintaining the statute of secrecy. as soon as the entrance is within eyeshot, something happens or something catches the attention of the muggle. it's basically just a blindspot.

I scripted that there are multiple schools throughout the wizarding world to make up for the lack of foresight in canon, but interestingly, there's the same amount of "main" universities like Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, and Hogwarts, but there are smaller ones that I would relate to community colleges in America. this could be subconscious scripting based on my college experiences in this reality though.

the bathrooms are always charmed to be clean, at least in Hogwarts. there's still a need for maintenance, but there shouldn't be any terrible smells or grime.

I scripted that the fashion in the wizarding world are more aligned with Game of Thrones and general medieval wardrobe. I just really adore the look and tbh I like it more than just plain robes. there are a lot of what I assume are preservation spells on the clothing, so many are passed down through generations for special events. they're not nearly as strong as whatever preservation spells are put on school uniforms, but that's probably to keep low-income families in mind re: schooling where it wouldn't really be thought of in fashion since that's where the rich flaunt themselves.

this is really niche and I'm not sure if it applies to every reality, but if you put the tip of the broom to your mouth and blow, special features can appear. sometimes there are hidden foot pedals or even handlebars!

there are different forms of magic based on culture and ethnicity. indigenous magic is very different to the magic you'd see in Harry Potter. e.g. runic magic. the magic in Harry Potter is kinda the "standard" set globally. this is probably because of colonization. I view it as being like a common tongue for the wizarding world.

spell experiences

using the duplication spell wandlessly feels so cool. it's kinda like you're pulling the edges of whatever you're multiplying in two different directions, and a second item magically forms in the middle! kinda like pulling something out of a mirror.

lumos solaris is a variant of lumos solem. if solem is the beam of light, then solaris is the star itself. it's completely heatless so there's no danger other than possibly blinding yourself. you can "throw" the star up into the sky and it'll shine down as though it were daytime. I dunno if it's a canon spell or one just in my realities.

aguamenti can go wrong very quickly. try to think of the pressure you're trying to conjure when you cast it.

accio is not instantaneous. you can feel like a fool sometimes while you wait for whatever you're summoning makes its way to you.

lumos has different levels to it depending on what you ask for, and I'm not talking about maxima. if you think of the amount of light you're meaning to conjure, it can be as soft as a reading light or candle.

scourgify and tergeo are going to be your best friends. they are the clumsy's greatest tool. they're both cleaning spells, but you can use scourgify more generally and tergeo to collect or remove. so if you spill something expensive like ink, you can use tergeo to collect the spill and deposit it back to the inkwell or pen. you have to be careful though, because if you're not intentional about wanting it to return to where it was spilled from, you can accidentally vanish it entirely.

sonorus sometimes sounds like talking over a loudspeaker lol. it can be kinda difficult for me to keep my train of thought when using it because the difference is so drastic.

a lot of parents use arresto momentum. like more than you realize. instead of "parent reflexes" where you catch the kid, you spell them into safety. I've had to use it entirely too many times (I trust my cat's ability to land on her feet far less than she does).

incarcerous doesn't have a definite way of binding something or someone. I can't tell if it adapts based on the caster's intention or if it depends on the environment. I have seen people use it to make macrame pot hanger. there are probably better spells for artistic things like that? but in a pinch, I suppose...

you can control the size of the object you're casting diminuendo on. I like to use it on stuff I'm not supposed to have lol or I don't want people to see. I had to cast it on my journal quite a few times.

I can personally do spells without incantations, just intention. I'm not sure if this is common? but it's something I can do. I didn't even bother looking up the incantation for the warming charm, I did it as soon as I shifted because ITS FUCKING COLD IN SCOTLAND and I don't handle the cold well

[daddyfordaeddy]

noun - décolletage; a low neckline on a woman's dress or top.

Pairing: servant! Wooyoung x lady! f! Reader

Genre: Smut, implied established relationship, E for explicit, MDNI

Warnings: infidelity (woo and yn fuck, yn is married to someone else), ⚠️somnophilia (it is implied that both of them do this on a regular basis, and it is just a roleplay. it is extremely hinted at so still, please be warned!)⚠️, smut warnings under cut

Word count: 1720

Smut warnings: Peeking tom (wooyoung is a perv and watches yn sleep and touches himself over her), somnophilia (implied consensual, discussed beforehand but not shown), fingering (f receiving), begging, dirty talk, unprotected (⚠️dont do!⚠️), creampie, multiple orgasms

-

This is part of a pervert! ATEEZ collab with @sanjoongie, @mingsolo, @flurrys-creativity (Limerence), @potatomountain, @desirehorizon, @bunnliix, and @skteezcursed :) As their stories drop, their links will be added. Enjoy!

A big thank you to potatomountain for helping me figure out the plot too 🩷 probably would've suffered without you lololol

⚠️Please note, this fic, although implied consensual, is very vague on the consent part. YN and Wooyoung have talked about it and agreed to it beforehand, but it's only very lightly implied. Please approach with caution.⚠️

-

Wooyoung can’t help but to keep his eyes pinned on your sleeping form as he half-heartedly dusts the dresser for the fifth time. He knows it’s wrong, he can get fired in the blink of an eye, but the chance of getting caught just makes him grow even harder in his pants. All the other servants are with the new master on a business trip, only the cooks, stable boys, and Wooyoung are left in the mansion with the mistress. Just what Wooyoung prefers.

It’s no well-kept secret that Wooyoung is known to play around with his fellow servants, or even some esteemed guests. And it’s not to say he doesn’t enjoy it, but his sights have always been set on you. On Lady YN, his sweet mistress who can do no wrong in his eyes. You’ve always been so kind, so sweet to him, all Wooyoung wants to do is hear your precious moans as he makes you fall apart on his fingers.

Your new husband couldn’t, that much Wooyoung knows. When he creeps under your windowsill at night, hearing the new master’s grunts and groans, and your light moans that he knows deep down are fake, he knows he could do so much better. Just the thought of it boils his blood.

Carefully, quietly, he puts down the duster and approaches your bed. You’re a deep sleeper, he’s sure you wouldn’t wake up if he just takes a peek. Nothing wrong with that. With gentle hands, he lifts the linen sheet covering you and moves it to the side, breathing in deeply at the sight of your lithe form. He didn’t think you would sleep almost bare, the only thing covering you is a sheer nightgown that hides nothing, but he’s not going to complain.

Your lips are pressed into a pout as you sleep, unaware of Wooyoung staring at you like a starved man looking at his last meal. Unwilling to let this chance slip through his fingers, Wooyoung quickly moves his hand down, palming at himself through his pants, biting his lip to keep his moans to a minimum.

With every moment, he grows more desperate, his hips bucking into his hand and he groans under his breath, loosening his pants and shoving them down his thighs. With a stifled moan, he wraps his hand around his length, slowly stroking it up and down and thumbing at the tip. It doesn’t take long for precum to start beading at his tip and sticking to his fingers.

Wooyoung’s eyes drink in your form as you groan and shift around in your sleep, moving to your back and exposing your breasts and cunt, visible through the thin fabric of your gown. Wooyoung’s eyes can’t seem to stay in one place…that is, until he reaches your crotch. He can’t hold back the gasp at seeing how wet your folds are. You must be dreaming about something dirty. Slick is sticking to your thighs, strings of it connecting them together.

Wooyoung’s free hand reaches out without him even realising, pressing his thumb against your pulsing hole. A moan breaks out of your throat and Wooyoung immediately stiffens, eyes flicking up to your face, but you remain asleep. “Woo…” falls out of your throat, and Wooyoung’s eyes widen. There’s no way…did you… “Wooyoung…”

There’s no denying it now. Your quiet moans only serve to make Wooyoung more bold, crawling onto the bed and sitting on his knees, bringing his hand up to cup your chest, thumb now playing with a nipple. Each touch brings a whimper out of your mouth, and you slowly blink awake, eyes glazed over and hazy.

“Wooyoung?”

Wooyoung freezes, hand still gripping your chest and his hard cock pressed against your thigh. “Yes, my lady?” he whispers, eyes trained in on your face as you look up at him with such pretty, pretty eyes. “How may I be of assistance?”

You shift to sit up, leg dragging against his sensitive length and Wooyoung bites his lip to keep the moans at bay. “Aren’t you going to continue?” Your voice is small, delicate, and Wooyoung so badly wants to just eat you up. “It’s so hard to feel good with…him. I saw you outside at my window, you know, and I wanted nothing more than for you to come and show me how it’s done. Please, Wooyoung.”

That’s all Wooyoung needs to hear, his arm wrapping around your waist and hoisting your body up until you’re flush with his torso, face so close to his. “Gladly, my lady,” he hums before capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

Unabashedly, you moan into his mouth, your hands moving up to grasp at his shirt as his tongue presses into your mouth. He can practically taste how much you want him, your hips canting up against his leg as you try and get as much friction as you can.

“Wooyoung, please,” you whine into his mouth, and your voice only serves to make Wooyoung somehow harder.

With a grunt, he moves his hands to grip at your thighs, yanking the hem of your dress up and lifting your hips until his dick, throbbing painfully, presses against your bare cunt. He lets out a hiss at the feeling of your soft, wet folds practically enveloping his length, your slick dripping down to his balls and spreading on his thighs. “You’re so wet for me, my lady. So eager, huh? Tell me, how does the master try to please you?” You groan, head dropping against Wooyoung’s shoulder and he pinches the flesh of your breast, making you squeal. “Go on, speak. How else am I going to show you how much better I am?”

“Ah, well, he would kiss my neck softly, and touch my– ah– my breasts,” you whimper out, every few words punctuated by your soft moans as Wooyoung sinks his teeth into your clavicle, soothing the sting with wet kisses on your sensitive skin. His hands grip the collar of your dress, ripping open the already-low neckline. You gasp as his grip slides over to cup your breasts, his thumbs playing with your nipples and you keen, hips grinding down on his crotch. “Oh God, Wooyoung, just put it in, please–”

Wooyoung laughs into your neck, his hands pinching your nipple just a little too harsh, shutting you up with a moan. “God, so impatient. You really can’t stand the master, huh. Don’t worry, my lady, I’ll treat you right.” As he speaks, one of his hands grasp the base of his cock, guiding it to slide between your folds, his precum making the slide so much smoother until the head finally catches on your hole. It feels like it’s sucking him in, Wooyoung biting his lip to keep himself from coming too fast.

“Youngah–” you moan, cunt pulsing as your walls stretch to accommodate his thick cock.

The nickname, although not perverted by a long shot, sparks something in Wooyoung’s brain and he bites into your shoulder, hard, as his thighs shake and he spills ropes of hot come inside of you. And yet, he remains hard.

“Shit–” Wooyoug groans, his grip tightening, sure to leave nail marks in your soft flesh. “God, squeezing me so tight…Do you feel me in you? You make me so insane, I just want to fuck you full of my come until my cunt is forever filled with my load. You hear that? Your cunt is mine, and I can fill it whenever I want, okay? Whose cunt is this?”

Your mouth is hanging open, nothing but incoherent babbles falling out, but Wooyoung is having none of that. He lands a harsh slap to your clit and you half moan, half scream out, “Wooyoung! It’s you, fuck. Please!”

A low chuckle sounds in your ear, Wooyoung smiling sweetly, a harsh contrast to the sharp look in his eyes. “That’s right, my lady. You’re fucking mine,” he all but growls into your ear, landing another harsh slap to your cunt before bringing his fingers to your clit and playing with the bundle of nerves.

“Yours! Fuck, I’m yours, Wooyoung,” you repeat yourself, head empty of all other vocabulary. “Please, fuck.”

Your cunt is clenching around him so well, tears springing to your eyes as you reach the edge of your orgasm. With one last ‘please’, Wooyoung’s other hand grips your chin, causing your mouth to open, and he spits in your mouth before crashing his lips on top of yours and coming once again.

With every throb of his cock and his come filling you up bit by bit again, you also reach your orgasm with a loud, drawn-out whine. Your body goes limp in Wooyoung’s hold, head resting on your chest as your thighs still quiver and your bones feel like jelly.

Wooyoung’s breath puffs over your hair, his touch back to being gentle as he rubs your back, calming you down. “My lady, how are you feeling?” he murmurs, hands stilling their movement.

“Good,” you hum, moving your head to smile up at your beloved servant. “I’m good. Thank you, Wooyoung. You certainly have helped.”

Unable to help himself, Wooyoung tilts his head to steal yet another breathtaking kiss from you. “Good. I don’t want to hurt my precious lady, you know.” He smiles, pecking your lips again. “And we’ll have the rest of the week to ourselves still, you know. Your husband doesn’t return for another two weeks.”

You shrug, shifting in his lap as you frown at your ripped nightgown. “Yes, well, maybe in those two weeks, I can find a reason to divorce him. For now, we can stick to our games and play-pretend. But my question is…did you really have to rip this? I had it imported, you know.”

You glare up at him, a pout forming on your lips, and Wooyoung can feel his aching dick start to twitch back to life. “Well…I’m sure I can find a way to make it up to you,” he hums, nosing his way down your neck, all the while pressing kisses to it. “Lay back, and I’ll treat you right.”

“You better,” you threaten without real bite. “As your lady, I command you.” Your voice grows breathy as his breath ghosts over your sensitive cunt.

“I live to serve.”

[mj0702]

I didn't do anything

Not the best work in the World but since it's all fiction 😅

For you @samkerrworshipper ❤️

Jenni sat on your couch, her legs folded in under her, reading a book in the comfortable silence of your shared flat. It wasn't often, that your flat was this quiet. With Alexia, you and Jenni sharing a flat there was often chaos instead of silence – the two football stars always moving around, hardly containing their energy during the day filled with trainings, media and other obligations made it hard to get some peace. You on the other hand loved your quiet time while your girlfriends are out for said obligations. You work as an EMT in Barcelona and sometimes you bartend in the bar of a good friend of yours to unwind from your hard, emotional Job.

That was were you where tonight – bartending in one of the better known clubs in Barcelona. Jenni choose not do accompany you tonight in favour of staying in and enjoy a little quiet time with a glass of red wine and a good book, leaving the task of having an eye on you during your shift to your other girlfriend Alexia. You were very popular within the crowd getting flirted on by a regular basis. Which didn't bother you in the slightest always making sure to leave it at some flirty lines or a smile here and there – the tips were great when you flirted back a little. Your girlfriends on the other hand minded quiet a bit since both of them where more on the possessive side also getting jealous quickly. You couldn't count the amount of times you had to calm either Alexia or Jenni down when a costumer was too forward for their liking. Normally a reassuring smile or a squeeze to their hand as they sat at the end of the bar waiting for you to finish did the trick but there were also times where you had to settle their wandering minds with showing “their mark“ to them. About a year ago you surprised both of them with getting their signature tattooed to your collarbones – Alexias on the left, Jennis on the right side. To say both of them were thrilled about it would be the understatement of the year – and they rewarded you a lot for it.

Jenni just turned another page as the door basically got kicked open, some shuffling and then got kicked closed again. The dark haired woman looked up from her book raising an eyebrow in anticipation waiting for what's about to happen. She didn't get disappointed as seconds later a fuming Alexia turned around the corner dragging you behind her by your shirt. You looked rather bewildered by your girlfriends actions as she dragged you down the corridor towards your shared bedroom. Jenni took a deep breath before closing her book, laying it on the side table and quietly walking towards the bedroom. The sight she was greeted with was something she wouldn't forget quickly. Alexia was muttering in spanish while basically ripping your clothes off as you just stood in the middle of room not daring to move.

„What are you doing back here this early?“ Jenni asked no one particular after closing the door behind her and leaning against it, her arms crossed over her chest.

„Shift apparently ended early“ you said confused but immediately yelped as Alexias hand connected with your ass cheek

„Calla“ she sneered at you „you don't get to talk after what you've done“

„I haven't done anything“ you exclaimed – again she spanked your ass hard

„Are you really talking back.. to ME?!“ Alexia growled while pushing you down on your knees

„Ale...“ this time it was Jenni who interrupted „... calm down – at least explain to me what happened“

„She let this guy touch her“ the blond woman sneered „He touched what's mine“

„Excuse me?!“ the other spaniard said shocked

„Yes... she was dancing with him behind the bar... and he touched her“ Alexia was fuming

„I didn't mean that... he touched what's YOURS?!“ the older woman said challenging at Alexia with a raised eyebrow.

„Ours“ the midfielder grumbled

„Mhm... I thought so“ Jenni murmured before pushing herself off the door she was leaning against slowly approaching you „Now tell me Querida... what did you think letting others touch you – right in front of Alexia“

You knew better than to just answer so you hung your head and avoided eye contact

„Ah“ the dark haired exclaimed „so you DO remember some rules... go on... speak up“

„I didn't do anything“ you pouted

„You knew EXACTLY what you were doing“ Alexia growled as she rummaged through your wardrobe

„I didn't do anything“ you repeated annoyed

„Tsk... watch your attitude“ Jenni warned you

„But I really didn't do anything“ you said again losing your nerve

„Y/N!“ Jenni warned

You just huffed and growled quietly lowering your head again knowing it was no use to fight

„Don't you worry“ Alexia growled „I'll fuck that attitude right out of her... you mind tying her up for me?“ she looked at Jenni already throwing a pair of handcuffs her way

„Of course not... on the bed Y/N“ she said while nudging you forward with her foot against your hip

You fell slightly forward as Jenni pushed against your hip but complied and pulled yourself onto the bed.

„On your back, arms above your head“ the dark haired woman instructed already grabbing one of your wrists. She secured both your wrists with the handcuffs to the bedposts before backing up and sitting down in the armchair opposite to the bed, crossing her legs in anticipation.

„Even if I'm fuming right now... safeword?“ Alexia checked in with you as she crawled on the bed

„Red“ you huffed out refusing to meet her eye

„You really think it's a good idea to get bratty in your position?“ the blonde asked grinning, grabbing your chin to make you look at her „I can tell you now, it's not... here's how this will go – you won't make a sound unless it's a moan... you won't beg or demand things... and most importantly... you won't come without my permission, am I clear?“

„Yes ma'am“ you answer sarcastically

This sarcasm earned you a hard pinch to your nipple which caused you to grunt in pain.

„You're really playing the bratty card hard today, Cachorrita“ Alexia shook her head at your actions before starting to run her hands up and down the side of your body. Her ultimate goal was to remind you who you belong to – who makes you squirm, moan and in the end fly on the high of an orgasm. Not that filthy dirty blonde guy, who you call a coworker at the bar – Luiz, Leonardo or Leandro or whatever his name was. She saw red the moment he laid his... dirty paws on your hips, swaying you around to one of the more upbeat songs – and what did you do? You laughed and let him continue. Alexia saw, that it was a genuine laugh – not even a fake one. So she did, what her jealous shortcut brain told her to do. Claim what's hers and take you home.

„I have a lot in store for you, Cachorrita... the next time you'll think twice about letting him touch you“ Alexia purred into your ear as she dragged her nails slowly down your sides. It was embarrassing what this movement alone did to you. You felt yourself shiver and a quiet moan escaped your lips. The blonde midfielder grinned wickedly and repeated the action. After she was satisfied with your reaction which included goosebumps and squirming she sat back on her heals smirking down at you

“Let's get going, shall we?” Alexia grinned and leaned over you to grab something from the bedside table. She knew you were weary with blindfolds so she showed you the item before slowly moving to put it over your eyes, giving you enough time to show her if you're okay with it. After she secured the blindfold, she moved away from you leaving on the bed and joining Jenni on the armchair. The dark haired player raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend who straddled her now grinning down at her. Jenni leaned forward meeting Alexia half way kissing her softly. After some time the kiss got more and more heated, the older player pushing her hands under the shirt of her girlfriend making her shiver.

All you were doing was imagine what's going on as you just heard kissing sounds – and god it bothered you.

In the meantime Jenni got rid of Alexias shirt and bra and was paying a lot of attention to the blondes breast, kneading them, kissing them, sucking on her nipples. Alexia moaned loudly throwing her head back grinding down on Jennis lap. The older player smirked as she started to rub small circles over the younger ones lacy underwear.

“Aren't you forgetting something, mi vida?” Jenni grinned against Alexias breast, her hand delicately pushing aside the piece of fabric and dipping a finger into the wet warmth between the blondes legs.

“Am I?” Alexia moaned out grinding down on Jennis finger “More please”

“Your Cachorrita looks very irritated” the dark haired husked out sparing you a glance

“She can wait” the catalonian groaned as she noticed that Jenni denied her plea for more

You were getting antsy. You were restraint, blindfolded and horny. You could feel your wetness running down your thighs from just HEARING what your girlfriends were doing when you heard Alexias hoarse moan. You wanted to beg, making known how badly you'd need them to touch you. But you knew better, so you just let a small needy moan slip through your lips hoping Alexia would show a little mercy – oh boy were you wrong.

“Quiet” Alexia growled towards you, still riding Jennis finger, her movements getting a little frantic as she was chasing her first orgasm of the night.

“You're really angry with her” Jenni mused, finally having mercy with the blonde above her, slipping a second finger into her

“Fuck” Alexia moaned sinfully as she felt her lovers second finger

“Come on, mi vida... make yourself cum on my fingers” the older one whispered darkly as she lightly bit her neck.

“Jen...” the blonde one moaned breathlessly, her grinding increased trying to get the long fingers even deeper.

“Cum for me, mi vida” the dark haired player demanded and angled her hand a little differently which resulted in her fingers hitting the hidden sweet spot inside Alexia

“FUCK YES” the blonde screamed out as she felt her walls tighten before feeling that sweet release.

“There we go...” Jenni grinned smugly as she let Alexia ride out her orgasm on her fingers “Now go and get your emotions sorted”

You whined pathetically slowly getting too worked up for your liking. Alexia kissed Jenni once more before lifting herself off and walked back to the bed.

“Did you enjoy that, Cachorrita?” the catalonian asked rhetorically already seeing your juices smeared on your thighs

You were smart enough to not answer but a tiny noise did make it which wasn't the smartest thing as Alexia heard it and immediately smacked your breast

“Can't you just listen for ONCE?” she asked and you heard a slight angriness in her voice. You also felt how your limit got pushed slightly with not being able to see her face and you froze for a second which didn't go unnoticed by Jenni but she let Alexia go on. She would interfere if necessary.

Meanwhile Alexia started to put on her favourite strap-on as she just let you squirm on the bed

“Don't worry, Cachorrita... I'll make sure you listen to me when I'm done with you” she said offhandly as she secured the last straps around her hip before sinking down on the bed at the end of your feet

“Open” she instructed you, tapping your ankles and you comply immediately spreading your legs for her. She crawled between your legs, collecting some of your wetness with the strap. You took in a sharp breath as you felt the cold silicone against your pussy. Now before Alexia could push it inside you, Jenni interrupted from her spot opposite the bed.

“Alexia... check in” she said her voice holding a little concern

The blonde stopped her movement immediately looking down at you carefully. Now noticing the little tells of you getting uncomfortable. The way your thumb brushed against your ring on the left hand, how your brows furrowed slightly, how you bit down on your lip or how your toes curl – but not in the good way.

“Colour” Alexia asked her voice a little softer then before “And don't lie to us”

“Y...” you started but you couldn't bring yourself to finish being scared to disappoint your lovers

Jenni stood up from her seat walking up to the bed, kneeling down by your head making herself known by carefully running her thumb over your cheek

“It's okay, Querida... try again... we need to know how you do” she said softly which is rare since she's the more dominant one in the bedroom. You shook your head not wanting to answer. Just as Alexia wanted to demand an answer, Jenni held up her hand signalling that she has it covered.

“You know we care about you, even if Alexia acts like she doesn't... tell me Querida... colour” the dark haired one tried again

“Yellow” you choke out turning your head away embarrassed.

“I know” Jenni said softly, grabbing your chin turning your head back to her “What's bothering you?”

You try to get away from your girlfriends touch but of course it was no use so she just tsked at you waiting for you to answer her

“Blindfold” you whisper your voice cracking

“Oh Querida... you need to tell us not just let it happen because you think we get angry or disappointed... we won't... we never will... we want to make you feel good” Jenni said softly as she pulled the blindfold off. You sighed relieved as the fabric left your eyes you blinked adjusting to the light again

“She was so mad” you whisper trying to defend your decision to not say anything

“It doesn't matter... when you're not comfortable, you need to tell us... would you have stopped her if she'd hurt you?” the older one asked seriously

You shook your head biting your lip. That answer caused Alexia to look at you shocked. She had never thought you would just have kept quiet even when she crossed a line.

“This is unacceptable” Alexia said still in shock, now moving to your other side “Bebita.. look at me” she waited for you to look at her before continuing “No matter how mad or jealous or possessive we are... we would NEVER hurt you and if we're about to cross a line, you NEED to tell us. I expect it from you, do you understand?”

You nodded slowly as tears spring to your eyes “Didn't want to disappoint” you whispered

“You never disappoint us for showing us your limit – we may be the dominant ones, but you're the one with the real power, okay? You need to realize that if you don't want to do something, we're not going to do it” the blonde says softly but with insistence, wiping your tear away with her thumb before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You nodded while you close your eyes recalling what Alexia just told you as you feel someone meddle with your restrains. You opened your eyes quickly to see Alexia stretching herself to release your wrists.

“No... leave em” you said quickly. Alexia stared at you intensely for a moment before pulling her hand back leaving you restraint.

“Are you sure... we don't have to continue” the blonde asked seriously.

“You need to get it out of your system – whatever upset you” you said back with just as much seriousness.

“I can always use Jenni” Alexia shrugged and a little smirk appeared on her lips

“I would love to see you try” the dark haired woman raised an eyebrow

That little bickering between the two eased your nerves majorly and you made sure to let your lovers know by starting to nuzzling Alexias neck, who was still laying beside you

“Getting needy again, Cachorrita?” the blonde smirked “I'll go easy on you... only rule – no cumming without permission, oyes?”

“Sí” you hummed against her neck “Gracias Ale”

“Don't thank me just yet” the blonde smirked darkly as Jenni rose to her feet again to leave you two alone again – she had nothing to do with Alexias grunge after all. You whined as you noticed Jenni left and she chuckled at you.

“That's your fight, Querida... not mine... you'll be fine” Jenni said as she took her place on the armchair again.

“Do you think I can't take care of you, Cachorrita?” Alexia smirked again while kissing down your body

“You do... you can...” you immediately were reduced to a shivering mess as your blonde girlfriend sucked on your nipple hard.

“Hm” she hummed while soothing her bite with her tongue

“Ale please” you moaned and pressed your thighs together

“Patience Cachorrita.. now you want me to touch you... believe me, later you want to push me away – if you could...” the catalonian grinned, her eyes shortly looking up at the handcuffs.

“Please” you whined again your hips rocking lightly against Alexias abs

“So impatient” the blonde chuckled but gave in and started to kiss her way down. Your legs fell open on their own allowing Alexia all the access she wanted. The blonde moved her body in between your legs as she softly bit your thigh

“My original plan was to fuck you till you use your safeword or pass out – but I think a slower approach would benefit us both” the blonde murmured against your thigh before she shuffled forward, letting her tongue swipe along your pussy

You squealed and squirmed as you felt her tongue between your legs she immediately snuck her arms under your legs and laid them on your hips, holding you down. The blonde started to eat you out like you were a delicious gourmet course her tongue swirling and twisting inside you.

“Fuck Ale” you moaned loudly trying to squirm away from her face

“Oh Querida... you really think she'll let go of you? You should know better” Jenni chuckled from her place.

You moans got louder as Alexia doubled her efforts massaging your inside with her tongue relentlessly. You felt your orgasm approaching fast, your thighs start to shake which was Alexias tell that you were close. She kept you right on the edge of release as she slowed her ministrations. You whined loudly knowing your girlfriend was an evil mastermind when it came to leave you hanging on the edge of release for hours – it always goes like this. She'd work you up with her fabulous tongue and then keep you there being a shivering, squirming, moaning, whining, begging mess until she decided she's satisfied and finally let you come.

“Oh Cachorrita.... you know how this will go” the catalonian pulled away from core, smirking at you evilly

“Ale please... please let me cum” you begged panting “I was so close”

“I could tell, Cachorrita...” she still smirked down at you as she repositioned herself now hovering over your body.

“Please...” you begged again hoping it would soften Alexia but again she just smirked

“In due time, Bebe” she said before pushing the tip of her strap into your clenching pussy

You threw your head back into the pillows groaning loudly your back arching as she slowly eased the whole fake dick into you. Once she bottomed out inside you she gave you a minute to adjust to the size – which was slightly bigger than normal – before she started to fuck you with deep, long, slow thrust. Your moans and groans increased with every thrust from Alexia since she knew exactly how to work the strap to bring you the most pleasure possible.

“Fuck Ale...” you nearly screamed as you feel your wall clench around her

“You feel so good around my dick, Cachorrita” she grunted as her thrust became more powerful and she steadied herself with her hands left and right from your head.

You locked your ankles behind her thighs trying to pull her in even deeper, which in hindsight was a bad idea since it changed the ankle of her thrusts slightly and it made you moan even louder. This slight change also meant you were about to break the only rule Alexia set for you.

“Ale...” you whined

“I think you should call me by my real name” the blonde grunted, now fucking into you without mercy. On the other side of the room, you could hear a short, but rather loud snort. Alexias head snapped towards Jenni who just grinned at her

“Powerplay? Really?” the dark haired one asked

Before Alexia could answer you screamed her name coming hard on her strap. The catalonian stoppt her movements to look at your face, then down to where your bodies were connected, back to your face.

“Did... did you just cum?” the blonde asked bewildered

“I'm... I'm.. I'm...” you stuttered out your breath laboured, your eyes wide with shock

“Did... you... just... cum?” each word was punctuated with a blow to your ass

You squeal at every blow but other than that you stayed quiet

“I really can't believe you... ONE rule... you had ONE rule to follow” Alexia growled out before starting to fuck harshly into you “You better remember now”

Since you were still sensitive from the first orgasm, you reached your high pretty quickly again moaning and groaning as she didn't show any mercy practically tearing you apart

“Ale... please” you screamed in pleasure “please let me cum”

Immediately your girlfriend stopped and pulled out of you, leaving you painfully empty

“No please... please Ale... I'm sorry... I really am” you cried out in frustration

“Should have thought about that before” the blonde sneered as she undid your restrains and manhandled you from your back to your front and manoeuvred you to your knees

You were basically dead weight but still she managed to throw you around like you were a stuffed animal. She positioned herself behind you and immediately sunk her fake dick back into your pussy with hard thrust. Her hand were on your hips holding you in place as she set a brutal pace letting all her frustration about the incidents early this evening out.

“La Reina PLEASE” you screamed moaning

“Finally you remembered how to address me” she grunted sweat running down her muscular back “And no... you better hold it or I'll really forget me and you won't like that”

You were so sensitive that tears sprung to your eyes at her words and denial but you somehow managed to follow her command.

“Jen... please” you now tried another approach knowing the only person who could overrule Alexia was in fact your other girlfriend. Tears started to roll down your cheeks as you look up at her with pleading eyes.

“Oh Querida” she said her voice faking sympathy “I won't get involved in this one”

“Please” you begged her again

Jenni looked at Alexia who still fucked relentlessly into you but still nodded her head. So the older player stood up and walked over to the bed

“What do you need, mi vida?” Jenni asked, her hand softly on the small of Alexias back.

“She wants you here, she gets what she wants” the blonde grunted “Get in front of her so she can eat you out... if she makes you come and me come, then MAYBE she can come”

“You... are pure evil, Putellas” the dark haired grinned but still undress “You know I hardly come like that”

“Oh I know... but she begged for you” the catalonian still held her rhythm not faltering once

The older player pressed a kiss to the blondes lips before climbing on the bed getting comfortable against the pillows spreading her legs for you basically inviting you to dive right in

“Bon appetite” Alexia grinned as she pushed you forward with a particular hard thrust and down with her hand between your shoulder blades “you choose this”

You were blissfully far gone already still holding on to your denied orgasm so you just let Alexia guide you to you destination which was Jennis glistening pussy. You did indeed dove right in pushing your tongue into her like your life depends on it – okay, maybe not your life but definitely your orgasm. You used Alexias forceful strokes to set a rhythm with your tongue pushing it as deep as you can.

“Mierda” Jenni groaned at your actions

“She's very... eager today, isn't she” the blonde grinned at Jenni

“I might ruin your plan... if she keeps going like this, I might do come” the dark haired moaned

“Let's see about that” immediately Alexia slowed her movement already seeing through your plan to use her to give you the rhythm to make Jenni come quickly

All you could do was groan in frustration as the blonde slowed down. She slowed down so much that it actually became painfully slow and it destroyed your flow with your other girlfriend. You jumped forward as you felt Alexias finger dancing around your asshole

“What do you say, Cachorrita... should we try that again? Oh... sorry I didn't see that your mouth was still occupied” Alexia grinned as she pushed you forward against Jennis core again

She collected some of your wetness smearing it around your tight hole before carefully pushing her slender finger in – just the tip not wanting to overwhelm you. You moaned loudly into Jennis pussy, sending shivers through the dark haired one.

“You like that, don't you... you like both your holes filled, you little slut” the catalonian grinned.

You were about to answer as Jenni grabbed the back of your head holding you in place “Don't talk with your mouth full” she moaned and started to grind down on your face. Of course you let her use you like that because first you really liked it and second you hoped she came soon and then you could come soon. Sex math with two girlfriends.

Alexia started to fuck your asshole carefully going deeper with each thrust of her finger. It drove you sheer crazy and you felt that you'd get too overwhelmed soon. This time you pulled away from Jenni, choking out a quiet “Yellow” before falling forward again.

As soon as your two girlfriends heard it they sprung into protective mode again. Alexia stilled everything while this time Jenni pushed you away from in between your legs.

“What is it, Querida” the older one asked you concerned

“Get's too much” you panted out hoping they'll understand. Thankfully they did.

“Thank you for telling us... you're being very good for us” Jenni kissed you softly

“We'll end this quickly, okay Cachorrita... hold on for another 10 seconds, okay... then you can come and we're done for tonight” the blonde catalonian whispered softly into your ear

After Jenni ended the kiss, you nodded breathlessly looking back at Alexia giving her a sign that you'd be okay. She started slow again with deep long thrust while still working your asshole carefully

“One day, I'll have you stretched enough so you can take both of us” the blonde grunted as her thrust became faster again and she bit into the soft flesh where your shoulder meets your neck basically holding you in place with her bite.

You screamed out first in pain but it became nearly unbearable pleasure quickly. You started to shake uncontrollably knowing this time you were definitely not able to hold your orgasm back this time.

“Five more seconds Bebe” Alexia grunted from above you as Jenni opted to just hold your face in her hands to make sure you would be okay

After a few harsh thrusts and her finger still deep inside your ass Alexia said the magical word which made you fall apart “Cum Cachorrita”

You screamed out your arms giving out under you as you feel a gush of wetness down your thighs. Jenni caught you instantly as she realized you couldn't hold yourself up and pulled you forward so you would lay on top of her as Alexia follow your body her strap still buried deep inside you. Your breathing was laboured your vision blurred your body in a trance like state.

“You really did a number on her this time” Jenni said a little concerned as you won't really respond to her touch

“I didn't think she would react like this” Alexia said with a low voice as she carefully pulled out of you which made you shiver again “I mean... squirting on the second one? Normally she needs at least five to six”

“Get yourself cleaned up and run a bath for her” the older one instructed her girlfriend still holding onto your shivering form tightly

“Already on it” the blonde grinned and press one kiss to your shoulder and one to Jennis cheek

“Sssshhh Querida... you're okay... you did so good... we're so proud of you” the dark haired woman mumbled against your hair, your breathing still to flat for her liking “Deep breaths okay, Bebita... try deep breaths for me”

You did hear Jenni speak to you but you couldn't make out what exactly she was saying. It sounded like funny gibberish to you. You also started to slightly panic because you couldn't fill your lungs with the much needed air. Finally you could make out the words “proud” and “deep breaths”. You tried to follow your girlfriends instructions and slowly, very slowly your breathing got better.

“Bath is ready” Alexia called from the bathroom

“What do you say, my good Bebita... ready for your bath?” Jenni said with a soft voice as she was picking you up from the bed already carrying you bridal style to the bathroom where Alexia waited for the two of you already seated inside the bathtub. Jenni carefully lowered you into Alexias waiting arms as you were basically boneless. You whined for a second when the dark haired spainard let go of you but quickly calmed as you suddenly were surrounded by warm water and the feeling of the strong arms of Alexia holding you securily.

“You did so good, Cachorrita...” the blonde whispered and pressed a kiss against your forehead “We just going to clean you up real quick and then you can rest okay?”

You made an approving sound not feeling the need to verbally confirm.

“Okay” Alexia whispered again holding you tightly against her.

After a while Jenni came back letting Alexia know it was time to get out of the tub as she was done changing the sheets and cleaning up. The younger spainard let Jenni pull you of her and she herself made sure you were dried off throughly. They helped you into some shorts and a big shirt before carrying you back to the bedroom where the three of you laid down. Or better – you got laid down in the middle of the bed while your girlfriends positioned themselves to your sides. You turned into Alexia, pressing your face into her neck as you feel Jenni shuffeling closer pressing her front to your back making sure you felt safe.

Just before you fell asleep during the soft strokes of your girlfriends your head shot up

“So why did you get so angry tonight?” you asked Alexia confused

“That guy touched you” the blonde said as if she hadn't made her point clear before

“Who???” you asked frustrated

“ Luiz, Leonardo or Leandro or whatever his name is... your bartending friend” the catalonian answered annoyed

“Do you mean Emilio??” you looked at her like she lost her goddamn mind

“I mean the guy you danced with tonight... who put his dirty hands all over your body” Alexia growled at the memory

“Lex... baby...” you started to grin from ear to ear “... Emilio is gay... super gay to be exact”

“Excuse me????” Alexia looked at you dumbfolded while Jenni bursted out laughing

“You were jealous over a gay man... good job... and good night” you grinned as you pushed your face into her neck again.

She could feel your grin against her neck as she groaned embaressed while Jenni still shook with now quiet laughter behind you.