#and unable to sleep well due to the added anxiety

[yessoupy]

it's just

so

exhausting.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 123 }

talking in your sleep.

megumi fushiguro x fem.reader

you walked through the halls of your school feeling like a zombie due to how little sleep you had gotten the night before.

today was an incredibly special day; a day where girls often confessed to the boys that they liked. and you were no exception to this nerve-wracking tradition-

today was february 14, valentine's day, and the boy you wished to confess your feelings to was none other than megumi fushiguro himself. he had always been such a good friend to you... ever since the day you enrolled at tokyo jujutsu high, megumi often stayed close by your side whenever you were in a bind.

you couldn't put a clear reasoning as to how and when your friendship began to bloom with the gifted sorcerer; all you knew that was whenever you needed help, megumi would inevitably turn up and remain by your side whilst helping you with whatever you needed.

his calm and stoic nature did little to deter you, and his near constant presence in your life made it difficult for you to simply keep your emotions as purely platonic when it came to him. so, with your heart shown on your sleeve, you decided the best way to come clean about your feelings for him was to give him homemade chocolates on this special day.

you remember spending the majority of the night within your dorm's kitchen, preparing your own batch of homemade chocolates. you had carefully combined the mixture and added just the right amount of sweetness to them, keeping in mind how megumi didn't like to eat anything that was tooth-rottingly sweet. with a care that you didn't think was even possible, you carefully poured the chocolate mixture into some cute, heart shaped molds. a few of them came out of the borders, but altogether, it came out perfect enough in your eyes.

wanting the chocolate to settle overnight, you place the molds into the fridge with your heart racing within your chest. there was a nervousness felt spreading through your veins, and you were uncertain if you could even sleep tonight.

being correct in your assumptions, you ended up tossing and turning in bed, unable to get a proper night's rest as you woke up at 6am, just a mere few hours before your classes began for the day. after donning your uniform, you hurriedly rushed to the kitchen, letting out a sigh of relief upon seeing that your chocolates were still safe and sound.

you gently cut your chocolates out of their molds, taking some time to wrap them each into some cellophane before placing all of your chocolates into a gift bag you had bought for this specific day. once you tied your bag with a cute, purple ribbon, you smile to yourself and admire your work.

you had high hopes that megumi would accept your feelings... and perhaps even return them as well. so, with your heart on your sleeve, you place the chocolates in your schoolbag and head towards your school building.

as you scanned your eyes across the hallways, you saw no signs of megumi. you cling to your bag, feeling the exhaustion melting away, morphing rapidly into anxiety as your heart began to beat faster while making your stomach turn sour.

you turn the corner and felt a smile don your lips, recognizing the head of spiky hair. his name was settled on the tip of your tongue, yet your voice seemed to die when you saw him surrounded by three gorgeous girls.

they showed no sign of seeing you, still talking with megumi animatedly as all three of the girls gave him their own chocolates. despite how these girls were obviously flirting with him, megumi showed no interest in them at all. he seemed to hold their chocolates within the palm of his hand, green eyes displaying no emotion whatsoever.

as if sensing your presence, megumi glances up at you, and you saw his lips twitch slightly when he calls out your name. not wanting him to see you, you let out a tiny squeak and quickly dart away from him, making your way towards your own classroom. just seeing all of those pretty girls talking to megumi was enough to pulverize what little confidence you had, and you figured he could do without your confession chocolates.

the day continues on even when your heart felt like it was on the brink of breaking. you kept on comparing yourself to those girls- to any girl really, and how megumi would be so much happier with them.

those who were much stronger and prettier than you. as the day came to a close, with you barely paying attention to whatever was going on in your classes, you decided to enjoy your homemade chocolates by yourself back at your dorm. with a sigh, you stepped out of the classroom and (quite literally) ran into a wall.

letting out a hiss of pain, you rubbed at the tip of your nose to help with mitigating the slight ache and looked at whoever you ran into, freezing upon seeing megumi himself standing before you.

he opens his mouth and gets straight to the point, "are you alright? why have you been avoiding me?"

damn. you bite down against your bottom lip, refusing to tell him the truth while looking away from him. "i-it has nothing to do with you. can i not get some time alone without you worrying?"

your answer only makes megumi's scowl deepen. he silently takes your hand, using his strength on you as he pulls you along with him.

"h-hey, megumi! what gives?!" you cry out to him, trying to back away from him, but to no avail.

"we're going back to my dorm to study, and i will not allow you to say no." megumi's words were final when he succeeds in pulling you along. he truly wasn't give you the chance to say no or walk away from him. letting out a grumble, you ignore the heat that was threatening to dye your cheeks, following megumi without speaking a single word.

only when you were inside of his room did megumi finally let you go, gesturing to his bed. "you take the bed, i'll settle myself on the floor."

giving him a stiff nod, you made sure to keep your school bag close to you, not wanting megumi to know about the confession chocolates you had kept hidden within it. you take out your notebook and saw how your notes were kept to a bare minimum, with megumi seeing your lackluster pages. he clicks his tongue while taking out his own notebook, flipping through the pages as it lands on the same lecture.

"here, copy my notes. and pay better attention in class."

admittedly, you felt your chest becoming warm, finding your heart melting all over again at megumi's unexpected kindness. he lets out a huff before sitting on the floor, scrolling through his phone without saying a word. with a sigh, you take out your mechanical pencil and begin copying down the notes.

you were uncertain how much time had passed, but while you were in the middle of copying megumi's notes, your hands began to ache. "jeez, 'gumi, you sure are thorough... maybe a little too thorough."

you spoke to him in a casual tone, but felt yourself beginning to frown when he didn't answer you. "megumi?"

you glance down at him, seeing him still settled on the floor with his arms crossed. but he wasn't looking at you- actually, his eyes weren't even open to begin with. moving your notebook to the side, you came down on the floor with him, crawling closer to him as you waved your hand in front of his face.

when megumi remains unresponsive was when you knew that your best friend had fallen asleep. letting out a sigh, you carefully reached out a hand to touch at his soft strands of hair. "megumi..."

you bite down on your bottom lip once more, thinking to yourself.

he's asleep, right? so he can't hear me... maybe i can just... get this off my chest.

you close your eyes and slowly began speaking to the sleeping megumi.

"i sometimes don't know what you feel about me, or why you don't mind my presence."

"...i thought it was obvious how...i feel about you."

megumi's voice was heard with such clarity that you found yourself jumping back, heart racing so fast as it felt like it threatened to fall right out of your chest. but when you faced him, you saw that he was still sound asleep.

your mouth was turning dry, leaning closer to him once more to wave in front of his face-

and still, there was no response.

is he...talking in his sleep? that's actually kind of cute.

you let out a soft giggle, wondering if megumi was more honest when he was asleep.

"then... how do you feel about me?"

megumi remains silent for several beats, with his eyebrows seen scrunching together as his breathing hitches a bit. "always want to... protect you... always want to....keep you....safe."

your smile turns sad just then, your hand still gently touching at megumi's face when you ask, "but...only as a friend, right?"

"no."

just as your fingertips were about to touch his hair, you felt a powerful hand gripping at your wrist, making you gasp. suddenly, you found yourself laid back on the floor, your hair splayed out beneath you while megumi hovers over you. his emerald gaze was unreadable, yet you could feel your heart begin to race when the tip of his nose was felt touching yours.

he frames at your face with his two hands, softly calling out your name before leaning down to press a kiss against your lips. his kiss makes you freeze up momentarily before caving in. allowing yourself to melt beneath him, you return his kisses while tentatively wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you.

you continue kissing several more times, moving away before inevitably coming back together. this cycle continues on and on for a few more minutes before megumi finally forces himself off of your lips.

"does that answer your question?"

you fought back the heat against your cheeks once more, not saying a word to him as you sat back up and grabbed your bag. megumi gives you a questioning glance, but you stayed quiet. rummaging through your bag, you brought out the gift bag filled with your homemade chocolates and carefully place it on his lap. megumi's expression was one filled with surprise, and you shyly leaned forward to give him a gentle peck on his lips before immediately moving back.

"s-sorry... you were right, megumi. i was acting weird because i wanted to give you these confession chocolates... but... the moment i saw those girls giving you chocolates, i-i just assumed that you accepted one of their confessions... and didn't need or want me anymore."

megumi remains silent, only looking down at your chocolates before allowing his lips to break out into a smirk. he opens your bag and pulls out a heart-shaped chocolate, assessing it for a moment when he places the chocolate in his mouth.

you wanted to see his every expression, wondering if he even liked your chocolates when you felt him suddenly grab you. you gasp, finding yourself in his lap once more when megumi presses his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. you moan, tasting the subtle sweetness of the chocolate filling at your senses as megumi continued to kiss you, deepening it when you could feel him tasting you.

when he pulls away, you felt the heat completely taking over the skin of your cheeks, feeling them burn despite your best attempts at trying to hide your flustered expression behind your two hands.

megumi's smirk did not disappear when he gently moves you hands away from your mouth. "i would much rather receive chocolates from you. to be honest, i was ready to throw those other chocolates away before itadori and nobara stopped me... so i gave it to them to enjoy."

you were giggling now, resting your forehead against his when you playfully asked him, "and are you going to give my chocolates to them, too?"

"hell no." you bask in his growl of your name, allowing him to squeeze your form even closer to him as he continues to kiss you without any intention of letting you go-

and honestly, you could get used to having a valentine's day like this every single year.

a.n. - i'm on a megumi binge, and i truly hope you readers don't mind, so have something special in celebration of valentine's day coming up 🥹❤️

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

The Babysitter (13)

Let's Go Home

MILF Wanda Maximoff X Reader

Summary: In need of money and a way to escape the problems at home, you get a job babysitting two lovely boys named Billy and Tommy Maximoff. What happens when you start to feel things you shouldn't for their mother? Will it bloom into love or leave you heartbroken?

A/N- I would just like to say that there will be some sensitive issues in this story such as alcoholism, homophobia, anxiety as well as more mature content such as smut so, if you continue to read this, please consider this warning.

The Babysitter Master list | General Master List

Chapter 13- W/c 3.4k

Tag list- @Natssluttt @cerberus-spectre @dorabledewdroop @bibliophilicbi @hopelesslyfallenninlove (Comment if you want to be added)

Let's Go Home

Sleep was cruelly torn away from you at the sound of a phone alarm blaring, the incessant noise not abating with its ridiculously joyful tune. Who could be that happy this early in the morning?

You groaned, burying your face into the soft, pillow-like object in front you, desperate to ignore the chiming phone and let sleep take over once more. A chuckle was all that you received in response, the body in front of you shaking at your moody state before moving their arm to slide the alarm off, granting your wish of stopping it.

"Good morning, Detka," came the soft whisper from Wanda, breaking the silence that replaced the annoying alarm. A reluctant and displeased groan was all she got in return, a smile playing on her lips as she gathered you were clearly not a morning person.

Snaking your arms around her, you continue to snuggle into what you discovered was her chest, letting out a pleased sigh at the warmth and comfort you found there. A mutter of, "Good morning," was muffled against her shirt, her arms wrapping around your shoulders to try and keep you close while enjoying the moment a little more.

"Come on Detka, we have to get up," she murmured lovingly into your hair, pressing a faint kiss there in encouragement. Another begrudging groan left your lips, tightening your arms around her waist while the tangle of legs became more present as you slotted a leg between hers to keep her there.

"Five more minutes," hot breath tickled her neck as you tilted your head up, eyes still tightly shut due to her comforting embrace lulling you back to sleep.

"We just had five more minutes, sweetheart," she sighed out with a smile, unable to stop her heart melting at the small pout that formed on your face. "If you get up now, I'll give you an extra kiss before you go to college," eyes immediately fluttered open at her words, a drowsy smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "How does that sound, hm?" soft was the only way to describe her tone, her lips pressing a delicate kiss to your forehead, the warmth of her lips lingering.

"Make it an extra two," you mumble, an adorable giggle escaping her at your demand, your heart leaping in your chest as you wish to hear that noise again.

"Ok Detka, Ok," her lips press against your forehead once more before she starts to untangle herself from you, poking your sides to get you to move. "Come on or you'll get no kisses at all," you shoot her a pointed look, her daring you to try and challenge her. When she tilts her head at you, all disobedient thoughts fly out of your mind, immediately doing as she asks with a shy smile.

Around an hour later, you're both dressed and ready for the day, Wanda about to take the twins to school while you go to your dreaded college classes. You were to wait behind though, only until the twins were gone before you could leave as you both did not want them to know you stayed over last night.

"What time are your classes finished, Detka?" Wanda asks, checking she's gotten everything while you sit on the edge of her bed, messaging Natasha saying you'd be on your way to college soon.

"About 1:30?" your tone not too confident as you think off the top of your head, the older woman nodding before walking in between your legs, a charming, toothy grin on her face.

"Well, if you're free, you're welcome to come back here and keep me company," there's a playful and hopeful hint to her voice, her bottom lip trapped by her teeth as she awaits a response.

"Hmm, I'll have to think about it," you tease, both of you knowing that you planned to return here and help (distract) her while she works.

"Oh, do you?" biting your own lip to prevent the smile that wants to stretch across your face, you nod to her frivolous tone. "Would this help convince you?" her mouth lowers to yours, claiming your lips in such a soft and affectionate manner you can't comprehend the amount of care she's pouring into the kiss until it turns passionate. Hungrier.

Her hand cups your jaw, tongue swiping over your bottom lip before her teeth claim it, biting down gently and pulling it back, eventually releasing it so her lips can reclaim yours. She pulls back sooner than you would have wanted, your eyes that have gotten considerably darker, fluttering open to gaze into the pools of green that overflow with tenderness, flickering down to her smirk.

"Convinced?" she breathes out sultrily against your lips, the back of her fingers moving to brush over your cheeks as you're stuck in a daze, the last few seconds on repeat in your mind.

"Yeah," your voice barely above a whisper as you dumbfoundedly nod your head, offering a smile while her hands cradle your face.

"Oh, and feel free to sneak into my office," she adds, heat rushing to your cheeks at her suggestive tone.

Her lips peck yours once more, keeping her promise of two extra kisses, before she leaves the room, pausing at the door frame and waving you goodbye, calling for the boys to get in the car ready for school.

***

"And where were you last night?" is the first thing Natasha asks you, her eyebrow raising in her signature fashion as she leans against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. A smug and teasing smirk is engraved onto her face, already knowing the answer but she wants you to tell her.

"Nowhere," feigning innocence in your voice, you simply mirror her raised eyebrow and move to stand next to her, bumping her shoulder. "Where were you last night?"

"In my bed," you don't miss the way she emphasises the fact it was her bed, smiling to yourself as you remember falling asleep with Wanda in her bed.

"Alone?" you ask in riposte, her staying suspiciously quiet making your jaw drop.

"Shut up," she grumbles playfully, pushing her body off the wall and starting to walk to her class, you on her tail with a shit eating grin plastered on your face, an array of teasing comments filtering through your mind.

The rest of the day passed by in a breeze, you and Natasha taking turns teasing one another. You almost spat out your water in the cafeteria when she asked if you called Wanda mommy too, the entire scenario causing the redhead to burst out laughing, almost cackling when she saw the blush on your face.

Before you knew it, you were back on the doorstep of the Maximoff residence, knocking on the door and waiting to be let in. The door quickly opened, Wanda on the phone while offering an apologetic smile, letting you in before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips and motioning she was going to go back to her office. You nod in understanding, moving through to the kitchen to find yourself a quick drink.

Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, you noticed a few dishes left in the sink and quickly washed them, wanting to help Wanda out, even if it was only a small action, before grabbing your freshly made tea and backpack, climbing up the stairs to reach her office.

Knocking quietly on the door, you poked your head through the small gap, seeing Wanda scribbling something down on a notepad and deciding to scare her. Concentration was key as you ever so gently placed down your mug on the side, opting to keep your backpack on as that would be too loud to take off while you cautiously stalked towards her. You waited until she had finished writing, the small sigh turning into a scream as you wrapped your arms around her suddenly, semi-shouting 'boo' to scare her.

"Shit," she relaxed immediately when she realised it was you, tilting her head back and glaring up at you, the action only fuelling your laughter. "That was mean," she mutters, burying your face at her neck to muffle your laughter.

"I'm sorry," you chuckle out, not really feeling that sorry as it was so funny. She continues to mutter something in Sokovian, you just laughing as you can assume she was swearing at you based on her tone.

"You can sit over there now," she points over to the chair at the other side of the room, as if you were a naughty child in need of punishment. Your eyes widen in shock and offence, her trying not to smile at your reaction. "No cuddles till I'm finished, sweetheart," her tone teasing as she has already finished, only wanting to play around you.

"What?" you say as you sit in the chair, Wanda taking note of how obedient you were, always aiming to please. "You're being mean today," you mutter, remembering how she also threatened no kisses this morning if you didn't get up. Taking pity on you, she laughed and beckoned you back over to her, a smile returning to your face.

"Well you're lucky I'm finished Detka," she whispers before pulling you into her arms, giving you a hug you so desperately craved. Melting into her embrace, you savoured her comfort for a few minutes before deciding to do some of your school work, Wanda starting a new work task while you studied.

It turns out, trying to do anything while Wanda was close by was near impossible, your eyes subconsciously always flickering up to gaze at her, sometimes even staring at her in admiration. Even though she knew you were watching her, Wanda made no effort to comment about it, secretly finding it adorable how you seem to get lost in thought while looking at her.

Eventually, you gave up trying to do Mr Stark's work, propping your head in your hands and blatantly staring at her, smiling when you realise she knows you're watching her work.

"Enjoying the show, sweetheart?" she murmurs while typing an email up, turning her head to face you when she's finished. You hum in response, tilting your head and offering her a beaming smile.

"You make adult life look so fun," you joke, earning a small chuckle as she sends another email, Wanda checking the time to see how long she has until she needs to pick the boys up from school. 

After a few more minutes of silence you speak up, not too sure how Wanda will take what you're going to say. "I was thinking of going back home today," her head instantly snaps over to you, making you quickly finish your sentence, "Just to take a few more of my things out."

"Detka..." she trails off, hesitance and apprehension written all over her face. Gradually, she rises from her chair and walks over to you, thinking of the right words to say. "Is that a good idea?" your hands reach out for hers, interlocking your fingers in an attempt to ease her worries. "I just... I don't like the way she treats you sweetheart. I don't want you to get hurt," she brushes her thumbs over the back of your hand, pressing a brief kiss there as well before angling her head back up to meet your gaze.

"She should be at work right now," you inform, Wanda still uneasy about the whole ordeal. Since she met your mother last night, she would go as far as saying she despised the woman. Your mother had clearly said things to provoke you, to hurt you on purpose, making Wanda see red at the timid and pained expression on your face at your mother's words. She wanted to talk to you about what had happened last night but decided it wasn't the right time to discuss the relationship between you and your mother. "I'll be alright," your tone reassuring but the gut feeling inside of Wanda said otherwise.

"Can I come with you? I can drive us there," her tone pleading as she wanted to make sure you were alright, having plenty of time until she needed to pick the boys up and the perks of being the boss and deciding when she wanted to work.

"Yeah," part of you is grateful that she offered to join you, not really wanting to go alone.

***

"Are you sure about this Detka?" Wanda murmurs against the back of your hand after raising it to her lips, pressing a delicate and soothing kiss there to try and ease the tension building inside you, nerves and anxiety clear on your face as you look at the building you once called home. "We can come back another day if you want," she continues to whisper, keeping her eyes transfixed on the way your eyes roam around outside the car window.

"Yes," you whisper so quietly that Wanda has trouble hearing you, despite the close proximity. "I.. There's a few things I want to get," the volume of your voice only marginally increases but it's enough for the older woman to now hear.

The whole reason you were here was to retrieve a few old shirts from your cupboard, the whole idea sparked by the oversized shirt Wanda wore to bed last night. The loose black tee reminded you of the shirts your father gave to you when he no longer wanted them, always wearing them to bed when you were younger, giggling as they went past your knees until you sort of grew into them. They helped you feel closer to him after his passing and with the way your mother was currently treating you and the way she mentioned him yesterday, you couldn't help but desperately want to get them all of a sudden.

"What do you want to get, sweetheart?" the angelic voice next to you softly spoke, her fingers interlocked with yours as you finally tore your gaze away from the apartment building.

"Some old shirts that were my dad's," you mutter, a look of understanding washing over her face, not that you would notice due to your eyes being on the hand holding yours.

"Do you want me to help you get them?" she hesitantly asks, not sure if you just wanted this moment to yourself.

"No it's ok, I can get them myself," you say after thinking about her words, lifting your head to finally look at her. The amount of care and love present on her face almost overwhelms you, leaning forwards to gently claim her lips before pulling back and leaning your forehead against hers. "Thank you," the words leave your lips in a gentle whisper, lips pressing a brief kiss to her forehead before you climb out of her car, looking over your shoulder and sending her a smile while you walk into the building.

Anxiously playing with the key between your fingers, you hover by the door for a second once you reach it, contemplating whether this was actually a good idea. Your mind was made for you though when your neighbour's door opened, quickly letting yourself in before they saw you and decided to tell your mother you stopped by, not wanting her to know you were here.

Disgust was evident on your face when you looked around the apartment: empty alcohol bottles littered about the place, old takeaway bags and boxes piled up on the kitchen counters while the bins were overflowing, the smell creating a nauseous feeling to bubble inside of you. Due to the repulsive odour, you swiftly ventured around the apartment to your room, searching through your drawers to find the desired items.

Just as you were leaving your old room with a filled plastic bag of the shirts and other various items you decided you wanted, the front door opened leaving you frozen on the spot. Your eyes snapped over to the figure that entered the room, fear coursing through you at the angry expression on her face once she saw you.

"So it is that whore I saw yesterday waiting outside in a car," she gritted out, anger immediately replacing the dread at the horrid way she talked about Wanda. "Finally decided to come home?"

"Don't you dare call her that," you spat at the woman, your voice laced with venom. Your mother recoiled a little in shock at the tone of your voice, both of you surprised at the way you spoke to her as you never normally stood up for yourself.

"Don't you ever dare take that fucking tone with me again," she matched the hostility of your voice, smacking her fist on the side near her. When you flinched at the action she paused for a moment, looking at how you had a bag of clothes stuffed in a bag, assuming you were going back to Wanda's. "It won't last, you know?" she chuckled out, as if the whole thing humoured her, the big, massive joke of your life.

"What?"

"You and... her," She says, emphasising her dislike and disappointment in you with the mention of Wanda, her words hurting you like she intended. "Oh come on Y/n," she laughs when she sees the pained expression that flickered across your face, "You really thought it would last?"

Tearing your gaze to the floor, you don't see how she walks closer, letting her words echo around in your head when you know they shouldn't. One of her hands cup your cheek in a motherly way, tears brewing as you look into the eyes that once loved and cared deeply for you.

"Oh Y/n," she almost coos and you're stupid for thinking, even for a brief moment, that she was being genuine. "How could someone ever love you?"

"Please don't," you whisper, letting her fingers press into your face as her grip tightens, not caring if the tears were from her words or the pain caused by her hand.

"Do you really think anyone will love you after what you did?" she mutters, your hands reaching up to try and pry her fingers off of your face. "What you did to this family?"

"It wasn't my fault," your tone shows the lack of confidence in your words, hands contrasting the weakness of your voice and throwing her arms off, pushing past her to prevent her from saying anymore.

"Where are you going?" her hand reaches out for you once more, grabbing your wrist and trying to turn you around. You let her turn you around and when you see her you just...snap.

"Just leave me the fuck alone!" you shout, taking her by surprise. "I get it, I'm a fuck up, I'm the worst daughter possible and you hate me," the words you've bottled up for so long spill from your lips. "I didn't kill him, the drunk driver did, so stop blaming me for that because it wasn't my fault!" Her mouth opens to interrupt you, most likely blame you once again but you cut her off, "If you hate me that fucking much then just leave me alone! Please...Just leave me alone," your voice cracks a little at the end with the amount of raw emotion you spoke with, wiping your eyes to rid the tears you can feel before grabbing the bag and leaving, your mother remaining frozen on the spot at your outburst.

Ignoring the sound of your name, you leave the building, Wanda immediately getting out of the car when she sees how upset and angry you look, pausing in her tracks when she sees the red mark on your face.

"Detka," she whispers, voice wavering as her fingers gently brush against the red skin, her eyes flickering between sadness and rage at your state. Your lip trembles as you look up at her, Wanda pressing a brief kiss to your forehead before pulling back and asking, "What room number?" You grab her hand and pull her closer, shaking your head at her determination to have her own word with your mother. "Sweetheart, what room is she in?"

"Don't go," you whisper out, vulnerability swirling in your eyes making hers soften, the vexation still coursing through her veins, "Please stay. Please don't leave me."

"I will Detka, I'll stay," she whispers, letting you snake your arms around her middle and bury your face at the crook of her neck, your favourite place of comfort and safety. "I'll never leave you, Detka," she coos and you just hold her that little bit tighter before she guides you to the car, "Come on sweetheart, let's go home."

Home.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Bernie Sanders: America Must Confront Its Long COVID Crisis - Published Aug 15, 2024

As the chairman of the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee (HELP Committee), I have heard from Americans of all ages about their struggles with Long COVID and the challenges they face are absolutely heartbreaking.

In America today, far too many patients suffering from Long COVID have struggled to get their symptoms taken seriously. Far too many doctors and medical professionals have either dismissed or misdiagnosed those who have contracted Long COVID. Far too many people with Long COVID have found themselves stuck at home, unable to socialize, unable to work, unable to spend quality time with their families, unable to get out of bed and desperate for help.

That is unacceptable and that has got to change.

Long COVID is real. It is negatively impacting tens of millions of people throughout the United States and the world. We can no longer ignore it or sweep it under the rug.

Earlier this year, I chaired a hearing on the Long COVID crisis. It made me more determined than ever to address this ongoing public health emergency. This is what we heard:

A former athlete from Los Angeles told us that her chronic Long COVID symptoms of insomnia, brain fog, confusion, sleep apnea, heart palpitations, fever and severe migraines prevent her from socializing with friends and leaving her house on most days. Adding insult to injury, her initial symptoms of blood clots, mini strokes, brain swelling, seizures, severe shortness of breath, and numbness in her face, hands, and legs were brushed off by her doctors as just a case of anxiety.

A human resources director at a community college in Southeastern Virginia told us that Long COVID forced her to leave the job she loved three years ago and that she continues to experience extreme fatigue, chronic pain, headaches, and dizziness. These debilitating symptoms have made it difficult for her to just get out of bed and she is no longer able to lead an active life with her children.

A mother in rural Virginia told us that before her 16-year old daughter came down with Long COVID she received straight A’s and was an active member of the school’s marching band. Today, she struggles with extreme fatigue, low blood pressure, an increased heart rate, severe joint pain, nausea, vomiting, a severe inability to concentrate, and depression. Her daughter is now isolated, struggles to do her schoolwork and is slowly working on her GED from home.

Sadly, they are not alone. In America today, nearly 18 million adults suffer from Long COVID. And, despite what you may have heard, Long COVID does not just impact adults and the elderly. It impacts people from all ages and all backgrounds. In fact, nearly 6 million children in our country have been affected by Long COVID.

Further, recent studies have found that only 8 percent of people who have Long COVID have been able to recover from this debilitating disease after 2 years.

What is deeply concerning to me is that Long COVID can affect anyone who has tested positive for COVID—from those who experienced mild symptoms to those who were severely ill. Furthermore, although you may not have Long COVID after your first COVID infection, each reinfection can substantially increase the risk of developing it.

This escalating danger, particularly for those who have suffered repeated infections, poses a severe threat to public health that demands our immediate and focused attention.

Let’s be clear. The impact of long COVID-19 is not just a health issue. It’s an economic one as well. It’s estimated that as many as 4 million Americans are out of work due to long COVID-19. The annual cost of those lost wages alone is about $170 billion a year.

In my view, the time has come to start treating the Long COVID crisis as the public health emergency that it is.

Read the rest of the article at either link!

[fizziepopangel]

"That was the sound of a fucking divorce!" *TW*

(Stolas & Stella headcanons )

TW: mentions of SA, SH, descriptions of abuse, mentions of attempted unaliving. Please don't read on if you feel you are unable to handle those topics (and please do let me know if I missed a tw that needs to be added❤️)

Please note that I feel these events happen prior to Blitz reentering the picture and are meant to depict the life Stolas is attempting to escape from by filing for divorce within the series.

Stolas began SH by pulling out his feathers a year into his marriage with Stella. It was unintentional at first, a habit he developed during anxiety attacks or during bouts of deep depression.

After finding out about the SH, Stella not only began teasing him for the bald patches he ended up giving himself, but also began grabbing fistfuls of his feathers and tearing them out in anger or dragging him around by his feathers until they began to fall out due to the harsh weight of him being dragged by them. This began the physical aspect of the abuse.

Between his wife shaming him for his patchy feathers and her criticizing his body and performance in bed, Stolas began to develop extreme body image issues that led him further into depression.

Since he was young, Stolas had vision issues that led to debilitating headaches and nausea as a result of both sets of eyes having trouble focusing on a single thing at a time. Stella once joked about cutting out his second set of eyes while he slept to get him to stop whining about it. He never brought up not feeling well in any way after that.

After having Octavia, Stolas believed his wife would become softer and more motherly. While she never really intentionally hurt their daughter, Stolas rarely left the girl alone with her mother in fear of the rage he'd experienced reflecting onto the child.

Stella kept Via away from her father for weeks following an accident that involved a rather large plant Stolas tended falling on her after missing Stolas when it was thrown across the room. After being told it was his fault repeatedly, Stolas began to think it truly was.

Stella destroyed most of the plants in the garden before allowing Via to see her father again.

Stolas attempted to unalive himself on more than one occasion, failing each time and having his wife tell him it was because he was just too pathetic to do anything right.

After finding the journal Stolas kept and learning that he was wrestling with his sexuality, Stella took it upon herself to assault her husband, telling him that he was too pathetic for anyone to want, let alone a man.

Stolas never told anyone about the incident, but that was when the couple began sleeping, not only in separate rooms, but on opposite sides of the house. Despite checking the locks on his bedroom door religiously before settling into bed for the night, he still wakes up panicked when he thinks he hears something outside his door or when he hears Stella cackle from somewhere deeper in the house.

Despite the physical and psychological torture he's endured, Stolas does his best to be a good husband and father... Though Via loves her father, nothing he does seems to be good enough for Stella.

After reconnecting with Blitz and starting therapy, Stolas slowly comes to terms with who he is and what that means for his marriage. While it takes a while for him to be able to say the words and genuinely mean them with no fear of being bullied back out of his words, Stolas asks for a divorce.'

Besides trembling and reeling from weight of what he's done, When Stella storms off, for once in a very, very long time, the owlish man feels almost peaceful.

Thank you for taking the time to read through my Stolas and Stella headcanons. While this wasn't horribly graphic, I hope everyone who's read this far is doing well and wasn't too upset by what was mentioned above. As I said before, please let me know if you have any other warnings that need to be added to this piece that I might have missed.

[lemistired]

Essay- Untitled (again)

I don’t like naming things, I’m bad at it. 

I’ve been in a little bit of a slump for a bit now, my anxiety is getting really bad again, like I’m fighting to leave the house every time I have to. The other week I near enough downed 3/4ths of a bottle of vodka and of course i then saw that same bottle twice. I didn’t even expect that to happen, that’s the funny thing. My asthmas also been acting up like CRAZY cause how humid the air is and how much pollen there is, I hate that my lungs are as sensitive as they are, they can take a lot, but when it hits them it hits them hard, I should really tell them they’re doing a good job from time to time. ANYWAYS this is essentially just a vent that I’ve been adding to when things get a lot, and I’ve decided I’m done with this one cause it’s hard to have any literary flow when you’re in bits. 

People go on about how wonderful life is, yet have you ever found someone who isn’t simply drifting?

I mean yeah, I have these hopes and aspirations, but they’re more like rough suggestions. I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow, you can’t even say I’m taking the day as it comes because that’s a blatant lie, I’m simply going through the motions I’ve rehearsed a million times before this.

There is no escape from anything anymore. Alcohol simply allows you to sleep without a plagued mind, gradually your tolerance is getting higher though and the four cans of cider and a shot of vodka doesn’t make you drowsy anymore like it did the first time you drank; you keep drinking trying to get that same effect until suddenly you’ve gone through half a bottle of gin. You know it’s getting bad again when you’ve had a hard day and your first thought is to down some whisky, that’s my drink of choice when the days been rough. If I want a good time having rum usually goes down well, but sometimes the familiarity of that burn going down, setting your chest ablaze, is exactly the kind of comfort you need. Your mornings have started to consist of thinking about clearing away those empty bottles in your room, yet your nights are filled with heavy eyes and a thick taste of regret lining your tongue.

Sometimes it’s not enough, so you try smoking a little, doesn’t matter if it’s a tobacco cigarette or an electronic one, sometimes it’s nice to feel like you’re drowning for a moment. You know you shouldn’t because it’s “shaving years off your life”, you’re asthmatic so you know you’ll feel it when you go into an attack about an hour later. Sometimes I find myself unable to get the oxygen to my lungs, my body is shaking as I’m slowly getting dizzier trying to choke back the nausea, my inhalers won’t work so I sit there rubbing my chest hoping to alleviate the pain.

I’ve lost my sense of identity now; I don’t know last time someone asked me about what my characteristics are and I didn’t fabricate something on the spot. One group thinks I’m some shy, kind, reserved person who cares too much about everyone, another thinks I’m a more head strong, argumentative person—they’re even scared to wake me if I fall asleep just in the off chance I’ll snap at them. My family thinks I’m the most responsible introverted person you can find. The only advantage to not having a set personality is I’ve gotten really well at masking everything. I think I was 12 when I started acting, none of my current friends fully know me as a result of this, I keep losing people due to my inconsistencies.

A few points of me have stayed consistent; I’m not cishet-- truthfully I’m always in a state of questioning, my life has always looked like a dark room with a phone light being the only source, hospitals are places that I hate yet still find comfort in—they’re familiar, I hate being alone—at least alone without access to at least text someone, I prefer the cold weather—there’s less people walking so you don’t have to hide as much.

I find my emotions are something that come in waves, you get a tiny ripple, then suddenly thousands of waves come crashing down so hard it hurts as it hits against your skin, eventually they calm and there’s nothing at all. When the waves still, I wouldn’t even call it content, it’s simply a grey area between emotions, you feel something, but it’s not positive, negative, or neutral. When the waves are thundering on for what seems like an eternity, it becomes so overwhelming nothing shows, but you feel it; the suffocating of being thrown under the water with no mercy, you’re struggling to know its pointless so you begin to let yourself drown, only for you to suddenly gain the ability to breathe underwater, it’s the only way you’d ever cope with it.

I’ve become sick of sacrificing everything the moment people ask it of me. I’ve never been a caring person, the habits have just become deep routed in me, if you see a glimmer of genuine concern or trust from me, you know I really care. Sometimes I ask simply because you look upset and I don’t want the day to be dragged down as a result, other times, I want to make you feel better. The way my life has always worked was I was the caretaker, but I was not the kind of person who would clean your wound with such care and give you treats after. I think back to arguments sitting with my brother, trying to convince him to allow me to take out broken fragments of plastic out of his hand with tweezers, the concern over taking me all you may see was aggression at first glance, but those who know me know that is how I care – it’s cold, violent, and upsetting, yet I’ll still touch you with gentle hands dancing over the injury, touch so light you may not even feel it.

On some not rare occasions, I find myself disgusted to be banded in with people, not because I dislike people, I simply feel beneath them, an imposter with subtle cracks showing through a true nature. My emotions lead me in a world shrouded in logic, it was never suited for people like me. I am simply a by-product from a war between obligation and negligence.

━  S

[honeyblve]

i had a huge milestone happen yesterday in my health journey and i wanted to vent and document it for myself, kind of like a journal entry, because this is the end of a chapter and beginning of another for me. its kind of a selfish post that nobody else will probably care about but i think it will be nice to have to look back on. im not sure if adding trigger warnings to this post is needed but im going to add them just incase anyone takes the time to read this if you do read this i appreciate it sm.

tw: injury, mistreatment from doctors, mental health issues, su*cide

for the past year ive been dealing with a serious back injury that has wreaked havoc on my life. i had to quit my job and was basically bed ridden for months. its effected my mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing in such a horrible and traumatic way. i've seen numerous doctors and tried multiple types of possible solutions with no resolve in my pain, been rejected by a doctor for surgery due to my body type (dont even get me started on that bs. it was fully a him problem and not a me problem), and essentially lost all quality of life. at one point i was so exhausted and overstimulated from all the pain that i didnt see any point in living if the rest of my life was going to be consumed with an unimaginable and unbearable amount of pain. i spent many nights crying myself to sleep, feeling very isolated and alone, taking insane amounts of medicine for a small amount of relief, unable to rest due to pain, and missed out on some very important moments in my life and others around me lives as well. i graduated college earlier this year after 5 years of working full time, going to college full time, and dealing with health issues on top of it and was unable to walk across the stage and celebrate my hard work all because of this injury. i bottled up a lot of the stress and sadness i was experiencing because i didnt want to add another thing on to the list of problems to figure out for myself or my family. which in turn caused me to start having major issues with anxiety and depression. a year in my life that was meant for growth, transition, and finding my footing as a proper adult was completely overtaken. to say it was a hard year is such an understatement but truly the only way i can really put it.

yesterday, i saw a new specialist and was finally approved for surgery after being turned down by another specialist back in september ‘22. a surgery that takes 45 minutes and will almost instantly relieve any pain im experiencing. a surgery that i was told would usually be suggested 6 weeks into experiencing symptoms a year and two months after i started experiencing symptoms. for the first time i was shown my mri results that i had done 9 months ago and explained just how severe the injury in my back is. my jaw was on the floor at how horrible it was. i could finally understand what was happening inside my body. it helped my brain justify everything that ive been experiencing and proved to myself that i wasnt crazy. when i was asked if i wanted to move forward with the surgery it was the first time that i felt like i wasnt just being observed and passed along for someone else to make the decision for me. i finally felt like i was given the opportunity to speak for myself and make a decision for my own body. i wasnt seen based only on my outer appearance or a number on a scale. i was seen as a human being who is experiencing pain 24/7 for over 400 days and needed help. finally my advocacy for myself worked and a doctor is on my side. when he left the room i immediately started sobbing and felt like i could breathe for the first time in what felt like forever.

looking back i think in many ways this year was meant for internal growth. there were a lot of things i had to learn about myself and begin to change. either through therapy or by opening up to family and friends. so even though it was not necessarily growth in the literal world, i grew up a lot within myself. for some reason in all of my circumstances i always feel the need to learn something. maybe its just blind optimism. whatever it is though it helps me put one foot in front of the other. what i learned through all of this is valuing myself and knowing my self worth. i learned how to advocate for myself and not take no for an answer. i learned how strong i am in multiple areas of my life. but i also learned how to accept help and know that i cant do everything by myself. and that doesnt mean that i'm weak.

if anyone reads this i hope that you know its so important to learn to advocate for your wellbeing and dont allow anyone to mistreat you, use you, or demand that you meet their expectations before being treated as a human being. its okay to take a step back and take care of yourself. and when it comes to doctors and medicine, trust. your. body. it knows when something is wrong. doctors are just people and sometimes dont know wtf theyre talking about. they are not all-knowing deities. they dont live in your body. not agreeing with them is not against the law. it is okay to seek out care from someone else. and if you feel stuck with someone who is not listening to you or who doesnt see you as a human being, there are doctors out there that truly love what they do and want to help you. they dont see you as a statistic or a box to check off on a long list of things to do for the day. they truly want to see you thrive and be healthy. sometimes it just takes a little work to find them.

anyways this was much longer than i expected it to be. if you read this far down i am so grateful that you took some time to read this post. it means a lot. and if future me reads this, i hope i've continued to learn how to value myself in all circumstances and not take any of lifes bs.

[spookycatholicknight]

Eight Pilot PT2:

Rachel didn't move as she laid in the now overly large bed. Looking across at the empty side of her bed. Gently tugging the pillow with a shirt wrapped around the soft cushion closer to her. To try to feel the pressure, or presence of her ex-boyfriend. The faint scent of his oceanic lotion still clung to the shirt. Sniffing the girl blinked to clear her aggravated sinuses and cloudy vision. Her green eyes focused on her alarm clock as it ticked. Rachel hadn't moved off her bed for 6 hours since waking up that day. Unable to sleep as she couldn't find her favorite noise to fall asleep to.

Finally, having enough of not doing anything or finding anything to help comfort her. Rachel decided to sit up, knowing nobody was coming to help her. As well as all the comfort and support she wanted wouldn't help ease the absence within her heart and side. Looking up at her bedroom mirror which clung to the closet door. She stared at herself. Dark bags under her pink eyes, a bright red nose, her pale skin. Shuddering, Rachel took a shaky inhale. She was fine and some-what healthy regardless of her grieving emotional state. The female wasn't like her boyfriend Bruce before he died...

"I hope you never have to look like me." Rachel looked up to the hoarse, deep, and ragged words. Rachel's brows furrowed as she rubbed the calloused and tanned hands. "You're not that bad." She muttered as her head dropped a little, her hands rubbing his lean forearm. "Rachel." His words made her worried green orbs look up. Her eyes met brown, tired, ones. Eyes that were half opened, dilated due to all the medications he was on, with deep bags under his eyes. Sickly pale and sweaty skin didn't compare to his normally sun tanned and lively state. Neither did his stiffened muscles and exhausted state. "Honey" Bruce swallowed as he took in shallow breaths. "I look- like an effen corpse." He tried to say in a teasing tone. "Like- the one from Corpse Bride-" Rachel couldn't help but snicker as she smiled a little through her anxiety. "Which one? There's so many characters-" "Err- I dunno but I look like one heh." Bruce laughed as Rachel moved her hand up to the damp towel on his forehead and stroked his longer mullet hair cut. "You're still making jokes even like this huh?" "Well- someone's gotta ease the tension. Cause... everything's funnier when- you're- you know." Rachel nodded as she rubbed her slightly delirious love's head to soothe him as he couldn't help but flinch from his muscles contracting against him. His forehead was almost steaming under her hands. "Rachel?" "Hmm?" Looking down Bruce's eyes were almost closed as he spoke. "I love you... and- I want you to know. You're strong enough to take on every challenge thrown at you. Even- if I'm not there to protect or motivate you." Rachel's chin quivered as her right eye filled with water as she took Bruce's hands. "Bruce-" She whined. "Don't give up, you're not done yet. You can keep fighting too." Bruce nodded "I'm- doing m-my best problem is. There's nothing to punch. And, my strength is being used against me.." He chuckled before coughing on his spit. Rachel leaned closer and hugged Bruce as she couldn't help but release tears. "You're not done yet." She mumbled as he embraced her with shaking hands. "Neither- are you, honeybun." Bruce added as he rubbed her back and tried to continue to breathe through his tightened airways....Looking at her face, her eyes lowered as her brows pinched. "You're not done yet honeybun." Bruce's words rang in her head. Rachel then grabbed her phone, opening the device to see AI generators and various other apps that she had been wrongfully using. Within how deprived of love she was upon the unwanted event, she had turned to robots created by other people to make up space for her boyfriend. Yet it was not the same. Not at all. It could never be as unpredictable or like him. The apps would make him into a femmy boy through the text generators, therefore proving someone's ideals were behind the robot. Rachel could always predict what the robots would say, plus she felt she had enough of the companies spying on her. Her thumb hovered over the app, her rebellious and pain loathing heart wanted to keep the fake reality. That she still had someone.. That she still could love him even if he no longer existed with the living. But what had the app done for her besides bring upon more misery? Her logic told her she had gained fat, lost muscle, and was much too sleep deprived. Her body was slowly withering away and if she didn't get rid of this new addiction she had acquired, it would surely destroy her. Rachel hadn't seen or talked with anyone now for weeks since the funeral. Locking herself away, isolating herself. Allowing unhealthy fantasies to fester and grow, making her feel uncomfortable in her own head. Finally, she made the decision to leave all the strange and random conversations with her fake, ai, ex-boyfriend, the not real Bruce by deleting the app. Swearing to never return to it as it could never hug her or love her like a real man. No device, not even naughty smex apps could make up the space of a whole other person who was just as, or even more complicated than the cosmos.

[a-hell-of-a-time]

Anons asked:

What is Caim's strongest trait?

((Her strongest trait is her stubborn nature. She refuses to give up and back down no matter the situation, and when she sets her mind on something, she will see it through come hell or high water.

It is quite difficult to talk her out of something, though not impossible if you're the right person. However, doing so runs the risk of her going ahead with it anyway but using a different strategy than before.))

Does Andrealphus struggle with perfectionism? Are there any negative or harmful habits he has when dealing with stressors?

((He absolutely does! Perfectionism was something drilled into him by both his parents, especially his father who expected nothing but the best from his only son and heir. This desire to live up to his parent's absurdly high expectations, and thus seek/secure their love and approval has left Andrealphus with terrible anxiety that makes sleep nearly impossible most nights.

As far as negative/harmful habits go, the big one is going without food for extended periods and working until the late hours of the night. When he is unable to focus on work due to his anxiety, he will start picking at the flesh around his talons, and in extreme states of upset he will pull at his feathers.

More will be added to this when things come to mind, because I would like to expand more on the topic of Andre's responses to stressors, and how he reacts when in an anxious state.))

How does Andrealphus handle rejection?

((It depends on who, or what it is, but generally he doesn't handle it well. He will try and keep his composure and act indifferent, like it doesn't bother him greatly, but when he gets home it's another story. He will rant to himself in the privacy of his room/office, or vent his feelings through the use of his ice powers (ex. creating icicle spears and hurling them at whatever he decides will be a target board).

Once the initial anger and frustration has passed, Andrealphus will then sink into self loathing and withdraw into himself. He won't eat, won't sleep, won't converse with anyone (not even his sister), and will just shut himself off from the world. This may look like doing paperwork, or laying in bed and not moving for hours.))

[abualez7]

Ten Tips To Good Health

As we age, our health and fitness take a hit. It can be difficult to keep an appropriate diet while juggling the demands of work and family in the midst of a full agenda and hectic lifestyle. Below are 10 easy basic, simple, non-fussy tips that you can follow each day in order to stay healthy:

Avoid Eating Junk

Burgers, junk food items like chips pizzas, chips, and burgers include a great deal of calories as well as processed sugars, which have almost any nutritional worth. It is possible to cut down by at least 500 empty calories a day through eliminating junk food items from your daily regime and begin eating healthier. Consider switching to diet healthy foods and alternative options like the protein ball or kale chips which will you satisfy your cravings for snacks as well as provide essential micronutrients. In case where you need to find out further information on overall health, you have to browse around https://www.syndromic.org/ website.

It's Possible to Move Around

It is commonplace to spend a good portion of the every day seated in a chair due to the scourge of. It can cause several negative effects to our body. If you sit in an uncomfortable position, it can cause serious blood circulation problems and damage to the spinal cord. Move and stretch out every 30 minutes.

Sleep

Lack of sleep has been associated with mental health issues in addition to obesity, heart disease and mental illness. To maintain good metabolism and cognitive function, you should get your day's tasks done prior to bedtime.

Get a Healthy Breakfast

The most important meal is breakfast. Consuming a rich, healthy breakfast boosts your energy levels for the remainder of the day, by increasing your glucose levels. This allows you to make healthier choices all day long. Get your breakfast started with hot oatmeal, followed by a fresh fruit side. If you're looking to shed weight, try fruits. Also, try vegetables and fruits that can assist in keeping your weight at bay according to your fitness goals.

Green Tea

There are a lot of advantages by switching your evening cup of chai tea with green tea. The antioxidants in green tea combat free radicals and helps eliminate toxic substances. The consumption of green tea is proven to increase immunity and increase lifespan.

It is important to drink more Water

WHO suggests drinking at least 1.5 Liters a day of water to maintain basic bodily functions. Consuming a glass of water each when you eat ensures the best immune function and a healthy digestive system and an increased metabolic rate.

Organic In the Process of Being Reprocessed

It is crucial to choose the right ingredients to add to the list of ingredients you are making. Globalization and modernization has brought more goods into the world. While organic food can cost a lot, selecting nutritious fruits and vegetables that do not contain trans fats, added sugars or other additives can help maintain your good health.

Meditation

Even meditating for ten minutes per day will help you maintain your mental and physical health. This does not necessarily mean that you have to join a prestigious yoga class however. Simply make sure that you devote an hour or two of your time to a quiet space and paying attention to your inner thoughts. It has been proven that meditation can assist in the treatment of mental disorders like depression and anxiety.

Reduce Your Screen Time

The modern age is completely dependent on modern technology, such as cell phones, video games, laptops and other electronic gadgets. In excess, devices may have an an adverse effect on cognitive performance, sleep and creativity.

Dietary Supplements

Because of our hectic life and busy schedules, we are often unable to meet our recommended daily allowance of several essential micronutrients and minerals. This can have several health complications later on.

[narcissisticmf]

broken | bucky barnes x fem!reader

description: y/n suffers from a panic attack and bucky is there for her.

trigger warnings: panic attacks, mentions of anxiety, mentions of depression, mentions of trauma, angst, fluff, etc. read at your own risk.

word count: <1k

A heavy weight was felt against your chest as you had attempted to reach your breath. You stood against the carpet flooring of your bedroom, fingers gripped onto your desk as you heaved. Your eyes burned with tears as your nostrils dripped mucus onto your upper lip. Completely shaken, you were unable to ease the anxieties running through your body.

"God.." You choked out as you gasped for air to enter through your mouth, but you felt your throat slowly closing. You gently tossed your head back and gripped your fingers into the mess of your hair, tugging at the roots.

The door to your room, in the Avengers Compound, was cracked open. You hadn't thought to close it fully, but due to your current state that was the least of your worries. You took in a sharp breath when you felt your lungs open up as you heard footsteps down the hall. Your lower lip quivered as you tried to wipe away your tears, but felt there were too many to rid of.

You could see a tall, dark figure walk past your door through the small crevice. You pushed your hands off the desk and swallowed a thick lump that built of mucus in your throat once you caught your breath. The figure slowly knocked on your door and pushed it open, to reveal that it was Bucky.

"Doll?" His light eyes found yours throughout the darkness in the room. You glanced up to him with reddening eyes. "You okay? Thought I heard crying," He added in a soft tone.

You sniffed, taking the back of your palm to rub the mucus from your nostrils. You looked at him with tears that welled in your eyes, unsure of how to respond. He didn't need an answer from you, your expression said it all.

"What wrong?" Bucky stepped in hesitantly, waiting for you to give him permission to enter your bedroom.

"I don't really wanna talk about it, Buck," You mumbled, your voice was strained and weak as more tears begun to slip from your eyes. You kept eye contact with him and with nothing but you gaze you told him to come in. He did so and softly shut the door behind him, seeming that this conversation was one to keep private.

"We don't have to talk, Y/N/N," Bucky walked towards you, using his metal palm he swiped away the tears that continued to fall from beneath your eyes. You leaned against the cool texture of his hand. Your eyes fluttered closed, enjoying the feeling.

"I can stay here with you, if you'd like," Bucky suggested, his pupils dilated as he slowly retrieved his metal arm to hand at his side. You nodded in response and took his wrist in your grasp, leading him to your bed. You climbed atop it and laid against the pillows, ushering for Bucky to climb in after you. You made sure that the two of you would feel secure under the duvets.

Bucky's arms were draped around you as you laid your head against his breast. You hugged his torso and nestled into his side, feeling a warm sensation bubble within the pit of your stomach. He rested his chin against the top of your head and let his flesh fingers graze up and down your clothed arm. The feeling was soft and comforted you immensely.

"Thank you for always being here, Bucky," You whispered to him, tightening your grip on him.

Bucky slowly dipped his chin down to make the closeness more intimate between the two of you. "Always here with you, doll," His voice was gentle and calming. You moved your head up to look at him as your cheek had rested upon his shoulder.

"You tired, sweetheart?" Bucky hummed, watching as your puffy eyes were beginning to close. You released a gentle whine, not wanting to sleep, but your body needed rest.

"Sleep, doll," He pressed a longing kiss to your cheek, letting it pepper down to your jawline. You let sleep consume you as you relaxed against Bucky more. He smiled sweetly when he noticed and pulled his head back to look at a sleeping version of you. "Atta girl," He smiled and pressed a kiss to your nose.

Your nose scrunched up in response and your body moved closer to him, attempting to erase any distance between the two of you. Bucky grinned softly, his teeth were shown as he did so.

Bucky used his metal palm to caress your hot cheek, swiping more tears away. He hummed softly, pupils dilated, "God.. hate seeing you so broken."

.

a/n: hi, babies. so i just had a panic attack before i wrote this. that was fun! anyway, i hope you liked this one my dears. if you want more stuff like this, please let me know! i love you all so much, be safe and treat people with kindness. — angelina.

[touyasdoll]

Early Established Relationship Shouta & Reader, but they haven’t talked about having kids yet and Reader just found out she’s pregnant. She’s worked herself up in anxiety over how Shouta will take it. This is not helped by him coming home from teaching, having had a hellish day and grumbling about “problem children” and thankful that he only has to deal with kids for a few hours.

Hearing that, Reader just… hides everything. There’s ice in her chest as she tidies up the bathroom, takes out the trash, washes up to start on dinner just. Mind blank, but her usual smile on her face (well honed practice from years of mistreatment due to having an ‘unacceptable’ quirk) as she tells him to go clean up. She’ll make a fast dinner so he can sleep and then wake him later for patrol. He’s too tired to notice anything off, thanks her with a loving smile, the soft ones only she gets, as he goes and showers, changes for a meal and a nap with his favourite girl.

And that’s how it goes. Day in, day out, feeling sick is just a bug, just extreme reaction to allergies, just bad food, etc. She kind of disassociates a lot, mind unable to process as somewhere in there she’s coming up with a plan. Obviously he won’t want to be with her, right? She should cherish these days before she starts to show. So she does.

For about two days, no matter what he says about kids he’s run into or his class — though a small voice tries to remind her that Shouta is excellent with kids, even the ones that act out and he doesn’t hate them no matter what he acts like, she knows this, but it’s drowned out by the words she’s heard him say while tired and grumpy — she cherishes the fuck out of spending more time with him. A little needy, maybe a lot, but she loves him with everything she has to give. Everything but what she keeps held back for their her child.

And then one morning Reader wakes up, showers and notices a slight bump that she knows won’t be going down. There’s ice in her chest again, but she can’t have the same reaction as last time. It won’t be good for the baby, especially if she disassociates. So she plans out her week carefully; makes a grocery list so she can make all of his favourites, makes a list of what she needs to stock up on for herself, what she can pack quickly and sensibly, looks up apartment listings so Shouta won’t feel caged or that he has to leave because it’s his apartment after all, budgets her upcoming checks and what she has in her accounts.

But she gets careless, tires out far too early, doesn’t even make it to lunch, and leaves an apartment listing ad and pregnancy clinic check-up assessment on the table as she unintentionally drifts off on the couch. (Her iron levels are a little on the low side.) On the school’s half-day, where Shouta only needed to go in for meetings and would be back by lunch. Her stealthy as fuck boyfriend, who she never hears come in, but certainly sees her wearing one of his shirts and having fallen asleep in the middle of…..something. It doesn’t look like one of the analysis notebooks she uses for her freelance job as an analyst. Huh.

He’s curious, nosy maybe, but that’s a hero trait. You would’ve made good hero, if everyone hadn’t made it nigh impossible for you before you broke away from your past and headfirst into analysis. You aren’t bitter, but he can be so enough for both of you. You deserve the best, in his eyes, but he’s selfish so he’s going to keep you for himself. Now if he just steps closer to get a look at what’s on the table…..

  

  

Hey so I made myself go full on fucking ugly crying and decided to share for anyone’s thoughts or added writing contributions. :D

All I can think of to add is that:

Shouta is not letting Reader get away from him, from this misunderstanding no matter how he has to do it. (He’ll probably start by shredding that apartment add with his bare hands, though.)

Shouta feels like the biggest fucking idiot for missing all the signs and not taking better care of you like you deserved, kid or no kid behind it all. (TBH you’ve been carrying their family — not that either of you have said it but that’s what you have — since you moved in. If it was left up to him the entire building would’ve somehow collapsed.)

He’s gonna add some more bitterness to the “my girlfriend could’ve been a heroine but people are assholes” fund because she managed to hide a whole ass pregnancy from him completely for who knows how long while other Pros can’t even hide their favourite colours. (Most can’t even hide their lack of genuine civilian safety oriented tactical knowledge, which is just sad, in his opinion. Then again, he is very judgmental of other heroes abilities.)

He may or may not quickly realize why Reader hid the news. And may or may not feel even worse. Because having a kid with you? That’s a dream he didn’t want to let himself have, not yet. Not until after he proposed and settled into his teaching job more, at least. (Better find a ring soon. Even if it’s a Studio Ghibli’s Catbus themed one — it’ll do.)

💜

Oh God. Oh God, wait. Option 2 though, right? My brain wants more angst, go figure.

Ahahah this gets a little sad, sorry. But my contribution is under the cut ❤️‍🩹

Warnings: panic attack, mental breakdown, pregnancy, medical

What if his initial reaction is to be angry? Like he’s reading it just as you’re waking up and you gasp, trying to explain, but he’s already raising his voice, demanding to know how you could have kept something like this from him for so long?

He’s not even upset with you. He’s really just upset that he didn’t even notice. Like you said, he feels like a fucking idiot. He wanted to be there for you through all of this. He wanted all the cute cheesy pregnancy bliss that other couple go through. The first appointment. First sonogram. Telling your friends and family together.

And you’re looking for another apartment? For all of you? No, the place is already plenty big enough. Were you going to leave? He’s beating himself bloody inside, cursing himself for not being more attentive to you. You could have slipped right through his fingers. You and that little miracle inside of you that he already feels so attached to.

And he’s just so disappointed with himself that he misplaces those intense emotions and lashes out at you. He’s never once raised his voice to you, but he can’t control himself in his state and he does. He starts barking about why you never told him, demanding to know why you didn’t come to him, pressing you about how long and why and where you were going to go and he just gets so worked up that he doesn’t even know what he’s saying, he’s just screaming and there’s hot tears and he can’t breathe anymore. He’s having a panic attack for the first time in who knows how many years and he just keeps kicking himself, because now after all that, you’re looking at him with concern and tending to his needs once again, instead of him having the strength to be there for you in what is obviously your time of need. He feels selfish and stupid and starts wondering if maybe why you didn’t say anything is because you were really going to leave, because you know that he can’t even properly take care of you, let alone a child.

[stayevildarling]

Wilhemina Venable x Reader- When the time is right - Pt 3

Part 1, Part 2

word count: 5.3k

warnings: mention of scoliosis, feeling sick, dizziness, angst + fluff at the end

A/N: Part 3, Reader and Venable finally having the conversation that needs to take place and understanding and learning the truth about what happened.

Taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @mrsdeanhoward, @okpaulson, @in-cordelias-coven, @kenzbro, @twistedpoeticjustice, @minaslittleone, @vintagepaulson, @ninaahs, @whitelotus00, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @talulahmae, @cordeliass

Tossing and turning in bed, you try and ignore the massive headache, responsible for your slightly blurred vision and the ringing in your ears. The last few days had been spent in bed, feeling awful as if some kind of force had rippled its way through your body, causing this exhaustion within you.

Maybe it was the flu or some similar infection your body was fighting at the moment or maybe it was caused by something entirely different. Maybe it had been the events of this past week, reuniting with Wilhemina randomly as if it was fate or the encounter with her just a day after. It had been a week since now, a week of fighting your way out of bed every morning, fighting your way to the office every day, pretending it didn't take its toll on you, pretending she wasn't still present in every single thought or dream. Your body gave up eventually, not managing to go in yesterday as it felt like you might pass out if you had to leave your bed. As a result, you called into work sick, feeling guilty as you usually would, always caring more about not letting others down and performing well.

Feeling the urge to use the bathroom, you slowly get out of bed, ignoring the blurry vision and sick feeling in your stomach. As you walk past the kitchen, you realize the feeling is probably due to the fact you had abandoned any thought of food or staying hydrated in the last few days, not feeling like it and at the same time not having enough energy to either. It feels like there is this source of pain in your body somewhere, near your chest area, causing this deep sadness within you. In the past, there had often been days like these, days you felt physically sick from the aching in your heart, the busy thoughts in your head causing throbbing pain that would keep you from performing well and giving it your best every single day.

As you stand by the sink, the cold water coming into contact with your shaky hands, you look up and your breath hitches a little at the reflection in the mirror. It's not the paleness of your skin, lacking any kind of light or color, or the bags under your eyes, a sign of the lack of sleep. It's the image of a broken girl, once a smile so bright it could fill the whole world and rid it of its ugly sides. All that vanished, pain taking over and grief, grief for a love you once felt and the feeling it gave you, sadness and loneliness and longing at the same time. Shaking the thoughts away, you slowly make your way back towards the bedroom, not planning to leave it for the rest of the day either, as you feel drained and tired. With shaky hands you reach for the bottle of water on your nightstand, letting the cool liquid run down your throat and at least soothe the dryness and hydrate your body a little.

Just as you are about to lie down, falling back into the same habit, curling up in bed, pulling the blanket over your head as if it could shield you from the outside world and harsh reality, you hear something. A quiet knock. For a second you debate whether you heard it wrong, after all, it must be late in the evening now, considering it was dark as you passed the window, the moonlight shining brightly and igniting the dark apartment. In your slightly dizzy and confused state, you slowly make your way out of bed again, thinking maybe it isn't actually evening and maybe early morning and it being the mail or your landlord. As you take slow and steady steps, ignoring the pain, you failed to acknowledge the indication who is waiting by your door. The tapping of a cane and a second impatient knock as you missed the first one, after being in the bathroom moments ago.

Opening the door, your eyes instantly close as the bright ceiling lights of the hallway blind you momentarily, still keeping you in the dark about who is standing in front of you. In fact, standing in front of you is the same woman that has been on your mind for the past two years, including the past week after reuniting with her and just moments ago, as you washed your hands. The redhead never quite left your mind in the first place, however, you never expected to see her again after your last interaction, let alone her standing by your apartment in the middle of the night.

''Y/N'' her voice startles you, causing your eyes to abruptly open, ignoring the pain the light causes and for your heart's beat to instantly pick up the pace, matching the woman standing in front of you, her own anxiety high, even though you could never tell as she wouldn't let anyone notice or in.

You scan her features, two hands balancing and at the same time gripping around her cane, her facial features stern and cold, matching her demeanor. She is wearing an alike outfit to the one you met her in last, although you can't fail to acknowledge the light purple tie. Your mind instantly wanders to many flashbacks, many mornings spent helping your ex-girlfriend getting ready for work and helping her with her tie as she used to look like a dork when doing it herself and you doing it for her in the end. Even though she learned it eventually, watching you do it every morning, it became your little habit, Wilhemina lovingly watching you as you helped her adjust the tie, the same little loving smile on her face and her brown eyes looking into your soul. You felt nervous every single time, averting her gaze as it caused your heart to beat uncontrollably and the butterflies in your stomach to show every single morning.

''Aren't you going to invite me in?'' her voice rips you out of your thoughts yet again, unable to react at first, as her presence and the fact she is standing right outside your door, comes as a shock, like a slap from reality.

Your throat goes dry, breath hitching slightly but you try and focus regardless. ''Of - of course'' you say, trying hard to get the words out, before opening the door a little further and letting her walk inside. Taking a step towards you, you take a step back, allowing her to enter your home.

The redhead scans your apartment for a moment, never having been here before and until about a week ago, having no idea you actually live in the same city. Internally scolding yourself, for not keeping the place tidy over the last few days, you lead the way into the living room and towards the sofa, knowing it's clean in there.

Wilhemina follows you, scanning every aspect of your home carefully, not allowing herself to smile at all the little details she had missed in her life for the time you had been separated. For instance, the little accessories and details, colors perfectly matching, furniture carefully picked, making the apartment cozy and comfortable. Wilhemina's thoughts wander to her own home these days, that same lightness and feeling of comfort lacking as it is entirely decorated in dark shades and hardly any personal details or additions, matching the feelings hidden deep beneath the woman's walls.

Suddenly, Wilhemina halts in the middle of the hallway, her eyes noticing the photo in the frame instantly. It's a portray of your side profile, laughing and smiling, overlooking a hill and suddenly the redhead gets hit by her own memories and emotions as she remembers that day so clearly, before everything had changed. She took you on a picnic to the park, as a surprise after getting promoted in the department you both worked in. She was so proud of you, insisting on taking you there and after seeing how you kept admiring the hill and talking about what a beautiful view it must be from up there, she ignored her back pain and walked up there with you. And it was worth it in the end, the view making up for the aching in her spine, you overlooking the city, the many buildings, and skylines as well as the river. However, no view could ever be better than the one right in front of her, you, her little sunshine at the time smiling brightly and causing for the redhead to feel the same familiar tingles in her heart, whenever she used to be near you.

''Wilhemina?'' this time you are the one startling her, pulling her out of her own thoughts as she snaps out of it, focussing her attention back onto you. For a second you thought you saw her eyes watering as if she was trying to fight tears but that couldn't be true. You point towards the sofa and explain ''Please sit, would you like some water?''. The redhead meets your gaze, nodding and you walk past her, making your way into the kitchen.

While the redhead sits down, inspecting your apartment a little further, you walk into the kitchen, still unsure whether this is a dream after all. Grabbing a tray, two glasses, and a bottle of water, you make your way back into the living room and for a moment you find yourself halting too. Looking at the redhead, sitting on your sofa, the moonlight shining through your apartment, the only light source other than the lamp in the corner. The white light ignites her features perfectly, her side profile looking perfect as ever, the darker hair and clothes long forgotten as her cheekbones, eyes, and mouth are so familiar. She seems familiar, yet at the same time so far away.

Snapping out of it, you walk over to her, not realizing that her presence is indeed causing your own anxiety to reach its peak point and only adding to the way you felt before she arrived. You set the tray down and pour two glasses, handing her one, trying to stop your hands from shaking. However, the redhead instantly notices, her eyes wandering from your hand holding the glass, to your face, only for the first time tonight noticing how pale you are.

''Y/N are you feeling quite alright?'' she asks, before retrieving the glass and setting it back down on the table. ''I heard you called in sick at work'' she explains, her voice now showing clear signs of concern.

At this moment it hits you, the question that never occurred to you when finding her in front of your own front door ''How does she know your address?''. Her statement only adds to your confusion, had she been at your work? did she call in to check on you? why is she here in the first place?. All these questions only add to your state, the pain in your head becoming more excruciating by the minute and black spots now clouding your vision.

''Sit down'' Wilhemina demands, being able to tell how unwell you are, after all, she had been the person caring and loving you for an entire year, not to mention knowing you before then. She quickly stands up, ignoring her back as she realizes your body just barely holding itself in place. Your fragile body gently collapses forward, your forehead hitting Wilhemina's shoulders, her hands instantly reaching for your arms, holding you in place. ''Y/N'' she repeats, the concern visible in her voice.

All you remember, before everything goes dark, is two hands steadily, grip around your arms, and helping you onto the sofa. Two hands, reaching for your legs and a soft fabric covering your body, before your head was met with a soft surface. As sleep finally consumes you, the exhaustion from the last few days finally coming to an ease as you sleep off the events, the redhead woman in your apartment is still there, not thinking of leaving you like this for a second. Wilhemina sits on the other end of the sofa, carefully watching over your fragile state and her heart breaking at seeing you in such distress.

As soon as she noticed, your breathing evening out and sleep consuming you, she breathes out, a breath she had been holding in for way too long as your distressed state caused concern in the usual stern and strong woman. Within the last week, Wilhemina had tried to forget about you, tried to ignore the fact you live and work in the same city, tried to forget about the memories you had brought back after being in her office twice and she tried to ignore the feelings seeing you again caused. However, she couldn't get you out of her mind, not when you first walked into Kineros Robotics with your boss, or the second time retrieving some files. That night she couldn't sleep one bit, your laughter still so present in her memory as well as the carefree times you two had experienced together.

At first, Wilhemina tried to remain strong, ignore the uncomfortable feeling in her chest and the scars that seemed to have opened when you waltzed right back into her life, the wounds that she caused herself when walking out of your life together, and the years of coldness patched together. However, after four days she couldn't stand the silence, hoping to see you at another meeting with Mr. Odell, only to be disappointed when his assistant showed up with him. She questioned it, trying to make it not obvious what her true reasoning for the question is and Mr. Odell didn't notice it either, simply explaining you only helped out on the case. After that encounter, Wilhemina fought a battle, the soft Mina begging her to just reach out, try and figure out your number or a way of contacting you, while the cold Wilhemina tried to stay harsh, pushing all the feelings back, ignoring the sleepless nights and the toll the situation had on her own body, specifically her back.

Ultimately, the soft Mina won, finally after many battles in the past, she returned, quite literally forcing herself to make the phone call to your workplace and ask for some information on you, whether it being your number or address. In the end, she spoke to your co-worker, and even though she was skeptical at first, she was also concerned about you not coming in, so she told Wilhemina the address, desperately hoping she didn't just give some stranger that piece of information. Wilhemina waited until today, not having the courage to show up, scared of her own emotions and walls she build up high, ever since the day she had walked out of your life. Your cries and begs have never left the redhead's memory, the pain in your voice and written across your entire face, you collapsing onto the floor, while she simply walked out, still causing this pain and mostly regret in the woman, currently sitting on your sofa.

You feel your eyes opening, a few hours later, your neck feeling a little stiff but a much more calmer feeling settling in your chest and stomach. The sun is slowly rising, causing your apartment to fill with both light and warmth. As you sit up a little, you realize that you haven't slept this peacefully and calmly in a long time, no nightmares coming to haunt you or the usual insomnia. Only realizing the reason for this as you see Wilhemina on the other end of the sofa, gently leaning against it, her eyes closed and chest rising and falling slowly. For a moment you melt, unable to believe she actually stayed all these hours with you, slowly the memories from last night coming back and you instantly worrying about her back, knowing this uncomfortable position must have hurt and cause her pain now. Despite everything that happened, you can't stand knowing Wilhemina would be in any kind of pain or discomfort because of you.

Feeling a little stronger, legs less weak and hands less shaky, you make your way into the kitchen to make some coffee. While the coffee machine is preparing the warm beverage for you and Wilhemina, you walk into the bathroom, quickly freshening up a little. As you walk back into the living room, two cups of coffee in your hand, Wilhemina is already awake, woken up by the sound of the coffee machine and at the same time the concern of you not being on the sofa anymore.

''Good morning'' you mumble, before handing her a cup of coffee and also some painkillers, knowing her pain must be bad and at the same time remembering she used to always take those ones in the morning. Her gaze meets yours, taking the coffee and looking at the two painkillers in your palms. ''Here go on, I um- know you might need these now'' you explain and walk over to the other side of the sofa again, two hands cupping around the coffee cup.

Wilhemina's eyes close for a second, taking a deep breath, unable to believe even after all of this time you would still remember her routines and caring enough to give her a painkiller or make her a coffee. You watch her closely, as you take a few sips from your own drink, as she swallows the pills and sets the coffee cup down afterward. There is silence for a moment, the painful kind, both of you wanting to say so many things but holding back at the same time. Taking all your courage, feeling a little barrier and wall broken after her staying with you last night, you try and touch the subject, knowing it won't be easy.

''I'm sorry for this'' you mumble, meeting her eyes and her brown orbs instantly lock with yours. ''Don't be ridiculous Y/N, you weren't feeling well, no need to apologize'' she replies. For a second you feel intimidated by her presence again, her voice sounding just a little harsher than you remembered it last night.

''Are you feeling better now?'' she asks, her eyes full of concern and hope and you find yourself melting yet again, witnessing these small moments with her, reminding you so much of your old Mina. ''Yes, much better, thank you'' you reply with a small smile that she almost returns before replying ''No need to thank me''.

You realize this version of the redhead is much like Wilhemina at the beginning, when you had met her at the office, insecure, not being able to take a compliment or anything nice being said to her and you still wonder what had happened, the reason for her leaving and also what made her change into this different person.

After some silence, you feel the urge to just ask and find out the reason, why she is currently sitting in your apartment, after thinking you might never see her again after the last interaction you had with her. ''M- Wilhemina? why did you come here last night?'' you blurt the question out, not being able to beat around the bush for much longer and just needing answers. Answers for questions that have been burnt into your mind for years, many months filled with laying awake at night, or randomly zoning out throughout the day, breaks in the park, sitting at your desk, wondering what went wrong and what you had possibly done to drive her away.

''I-'' she starts, her lips parting but no more words leaving her mouth for now. Silence fills your apartment yet again and this time you know it's not her not having anything to say or being too cold to find the right words, you practically watch the woman you had fallen in love with fighting this version build to protect herself and you know she won't open up without your help.

''Did my workplace give you my address? or have your stalker skills improved a little over the years?'' you joke, hoping the little reference might help to get her to open up a little, as you remember her often admiring how easily you could find out information about someone back then, simply by looking up their name on social media. Mina often had you do that with clients she was wary of or someone she wasn't particularly fond of to make fun of them.

''Your co-worker gave it to me'' she states but you do notice a little smile tucked on the corner of her mouth. ''Thought so'' you add, before Wilhemina's eyebrows furrow, confused how you aren't mad at her or terrified that she would go through such lengths just to see you.

''It's okay, I'm not mad or anything but Wilhemina why are you here?'' you ask, her insecurities visible in this moment. Her eyes lock with your own again, before she finally speaks up.

''I had to see you Y/N'' she explains, her voice filled with pain and for the first time since meeting her in this city again, she allows herself to be vulnerable around you.

You watch as she takes a deep breath, averting her gaze to look anywhere but your eyes as her whole face scrunches up, feeling guilty for the way things had ended and never having the intention to leave you in the first place. What you didn't know is that the reason for Wilhemina leaving you in the first place, walking out of the shared apartment on that dark day, was never you or anything you had said or done. She loved you so much, she allowed herself to feel love for the first time, never thinking one day anyone would walk into her life that would be able to make the redhead feel the emotions she felt when she met you. Wilhemina had never known about love, the love she felt for her parents and what they gave her in return, a very different kind of love, lacking empathy, kindness, and gentleness.

Her childhood was rough, often being told that what she was feeling wasn't valid, she wasn't allowed to feel pain, she wasn't allowed those doctor's appointments or medication for her back as she was only making it all up. Only after she ended up in the hospital one night after her parents ignored her cries and pleas for too long, they changed their mindset a little but the scars on Wilhemina's soul had never really left or healed. However, when you walked into her life, you showed her the things she had always missed, empathy always checking in on her, despite only being co-workers at the time, always kind and gentle with her, and appreciating every single part about her. You taught Wilhemina it's possible to be loved, you made her feel valid, like all of those confusing feelings and the pain was valid and okay to be voiced by her. You made her believe she could never be a burden or anything those voices and insecurities made her believe. However, there were still those days after she started dating you, the days where she tried to stay funny, kind with everyone, and loving with you even though the darkness inside her was killing her. She tried for so long and hard and she managed to fight it until there was one day, one day that changed everything and ended up resulting in her leaving just weeks after.

It was the day after an office party, you and Wilhemina attending together and after dating for a year at that point, not really caring about occasionally holding hands that night or being a bit more open, considering most people in the office knew regardless. However, one of the male co-workers just had to point it out on Wilhemina's way out, managing to catch her both off guard and on a vulnerable day, as both her back pain and her insecurities were very strong that day.

''Isn't she a bit young for you, after all, you could be her mother'' was all the words it needed. Hitting Wilhemina right in the feels and insecurities. After all, she had always been a bit skeptical of the age gap between you two but you often reassured her it's not a problem and age is only a number. She felt awful that day, not being able to dance with you at the office party properly, and even though you reassured her it was okay, she didn't believe it. The voices making her believe she could never be good enough for you, her scoliosis always being the problem in your relationship, and that you deserved someone better. She took about a week to make her mind up, knowing her leaving would break you as you had not only grown so fond of her but also knowing you needed her. However, Wilhemina came to realize the pain is worth it if it means setting you free and someone better coming along eventually.

''Why did you wanna see me Mina?'' you ask, freeing Wilhemina from her thoughts and sending her right back into reality, the reality of sitting in your living room. Her face is still guilty, not able to look at your face.

''I came to say that I'm sorry for how our last conversation ended'' she explains and this takes you by surprise. Your mind wanders to the last conversation at Kineros Robotics when you had to pick up some files and you remember leaving after it seemed like she had nothing left to say to you.

''It's okay, I had to get into work it's-'' you try and explain but the redhead meets your gaze and cuts you off. ''No Y/N.. I mean the last conversation a year back'' she clarifies, talking about the time she walked out and left without saying a single word other than her leaving you.

Tears instantly build-up, the emotions of that day present again as if it just happened yesterday. Wilhemina notices your smile fading and the pain in your eyes. The old Wilhemina feels the urge to walk over to you, hold you in her arms, and wipe those tears just like she would have done but at the same time not ready to fully lose her cover and facade just yet.

''Why did you leave me?'' you question, not able to hold back your own emotions, as tears run freely down your cheeks.

''I never meant to hurt you'' the redhead whispers, a genuine confession leaving her lips.

''Please answer my question Mina'' you beg, needing answers after all this time.

''What happened to you, you changed, you aren't you anymore'' the words leave your mind before you can even think about it.

At this moment Wilhemina fights the biggest battle with herself, the newer darker side, wishing to simply build her walls right back up and walk out of this situation and out of your life, letting you find someone else just like she always had intended but her coming here in the first place was an indication that the soft woman you had fallen in love with, is still in there and currently back, finally winning her inner battle after such a long time.

She retrieves her cane, standing up and for a moment you fear she will walk out, having offended her but instead she takes you by surprise yet again, walking closer to you and sitting on the same end of the sofa you are sitting in. Her hand wanders to your leg in a comforting manner, wanting nothing more than to dry your own tears as she hates seeing you in pain.

''You need to believe me, sweet girl, I never meant to cause you pain and walk out the way I did, there hasn't been a day where I didn't miss you'' she explains, opening up and not holding back on how she really feels anymore.

''But then why did you?'' you question, not able to believe it truly didn't have anything to do with you.

''Someone said something to me that got under my skin, I should have never let it affect me this much, affect us this much'' she adds and you lock eyes when hearing her last sentence.

''Us?'' you whisper, barely audible. Despite hoping and often thinking whether there was ever a right time again for you and Wilhemina to be together again, you never thought it could be true.

''My darling, I know things have changed, I have changed but I don't want to lose you again, now I want to take this slow, respect you and your feelings but please don't let me walk out again'' Wilhemina begs, taking you by surprise as now her own emotions are on this display, a tear running down her cheek.

You sit up a little more, moving closer to the woman in front of you, your hand moving to cup her cheek and wipe the tears, before halting for a moment as it feels so unnatural after all this time. Wilhemina closes her eyes ready to lean into your touch and that's when you ignore the voices and simply wipe her tears. She leans into your cheek, enjoying the warmth you radiate and internally grateful to still be able to feel around you.

The two of you spend moments, sitting there and comforting each other, wiping each other's tears and just looking at each other, so many things to say, not just things that had happened in each other's lives since being apart but also still so many feelings and thoughts needing to be exchanged. However, for now, you feel grateful, grateful to have some part of your Mina back, and even though things are uncertain for now, you know there is now a different ground and knowing maybe now the time is right after all.

''I would like that, taking it slow and figuring this out, figuring us out'' you explain after some comfortable silence and you find Wilhemina smiling, breathing out in relief and all the anxiety and nervous feelings about this conversation leaving the redhead.

A little smirk makes its way onto your features, feeling a little like teasing Wilhemina ''By the way, how did you know I wasn't already taken or married or something at this point?'' you joke, with a little smirk, hoping she won't take it the wrong way but knowing your Mina would appreciate and understand this sense of humor as you always communicated like that before.

Wilhemina smiles, no sign of insecurities or doubts in her features before replying ''Well maybe after all this time my stalker skills did improve and I may or may not have found that piece of information out'' she explains.

''Besides there is no ring on your finger'' she adds, making you smile yet again and things feeling so natural as if nothing ever changed in the first place.

The two of you chuckle, your eyes locking with hers as she looks at you with so much love and gratitude, just the way she would usually look at you, so grateful to be in your embrace, to be in the same room and alive at the same time as you.

For the first time in a long time, you feel complete and warm, no doubts, no questions about Wilhemina lingering on your mind as now finally you have some answers on what happened. Even though there are still things to be figured out, questions to be answered, conversations to be held, you two working on each other, at least you now know that you won't have to do it without the redhead anymore, and this time she didn't just walk out, this time she wouldn't as this time- the time is right.

[beauvibaby]

tough decisions — j.oleksiak

a/n: finally another pcos fic, this is based around my symptoms with it, hopefully it’s relatable to most of you!!

warnings: pcos, anxiety, surgery and mentions of covid

“Hey, babe, I should be there in ten.” Jamie answered cheerfully, assuming you were calling to see how far out he was. “I’m sorry, J.” You mumbled, hiding back a groan at the pain tightening in your lower stomach. “I just don’t feel good tonight, could we reschedule?” You asked, letting out a small wince as you leaned against the counter. “Of course, are you ok? You sound hurt.” The concern in his voice only made you feel worse, you managed to hum in response, “oh.” He mumbled into the phone, clearly picking up your message.

You two had been dating for a little over six months, and now that he thought of it, he couldn’t recall a single time when you were on your period and miserable like this. “Did you want me to come over? I can bring you dinner?” He offered, waiting hopefully for your response, “actually that would be great.” You sighed, wanting nothing more than to take a hot shower and hope the cramps got better once you ate. “I’ll unlock the door for you, I’m going to take a shower.” You told him, adding a soft goodbye and an I love you, he repeated the sentiment, a frown etched onto his face as he stopped to get dinner.

You had just slipped on some loose fitting clothes when you heard Jamie walk in the front door of your apartment, “Y/N?” He called out, smiling when you rounded the corner in a shirt of his that you had stolen “accidentally”. He held a bouquet of flowers in front of him along with a takeout bag from your favorite restaurant, “hi pretty girl.” He murmured when you pouted at him, “I love you.” You sighed, burying your face in his chest, “I love you too.” He chuckled lightly, kissing the top of your head. “Wanna eat something? It’ll make you feel better.” He offered, getting a huff in response, he took it as a yes and walked with you wrapped up in his arms to the table. “It hurts.” You explained with a hiss as you sat down in the chair, reaching for your food, he knew it took a lot for you to admit you were in pain, “is it always this bad?” He asked with furrowed brows, taking a bite of his food as you nibbled on yours, suddenly feeling nauseous and worried eating would make it worse. “When I get it, yeah.” You told him, going on to explain the issues you struggled with, the missed cycles, heavy cycles, cramps, all of it. If you could tell him you love him, you can tell him this.

He nodded as you spoke, absorbing the information you spit out, “m’sorry baby.” He sighed, not liking having to watch you like this. You shrugged, finally forcing some of your food down, some relief coming over you as you had something in your stomach. He didn’t push you any further as he saw the look in your eyes, the way you got quiet, he cleaned up the table, leaving you with your plate as you continued to take bites here and there. “I’m going to go change.” He kissed the top of your head before walking down the hall to your room where he knew he had a pair of sweatpants stashed away.

Well he was in there, he quickly googled what you had told him, pcos was on repeat in his mind so he wouldn’t forget it as he typed it into his phone, he read as much as he could, being sure not to be gone suspiciously long.

He got the gist of it, irregularities, heavier cramps, bleeding, mood swings, particularly sad ones.

Infertility. He pushed that one to the back of his mind, he wanted kids with you and while it was early to say that, he knew you two would figure it out when the time came.

When Jamie came out you were nearly half asleep at the kitchen table, your eyes were heavy and when you looked at him he could see the blankness in them. “You can go home, Jamie, I’m probably just going to go lay down.” You sighed, standing up and clearing your spot. “No, I wanna stay with you.” He answered instantly, giving you a soft smile as spun to face him. “Really?” You couldn’t help but grin, catching him off guard, “of course.” He rolled his eyes with a smile, out stretching his arms for you. “Good, sometimes I’m scared to be alone when it hurts so much.” You whispered up to him, pecking his lips when he leaned down to you. “You know you can call me whenever, even if I’m on a roadie. I’d call you back as soon as I saw it.” He explained to you as you pulled him along towards your bedroom, you nodded as a cramp started up.

“Come here.” He demanded gently, flopping down on the bed and pulling you with him, he adjusted you so you were laying on top of him. He lightly began massaging your lower back, feeling you relax into him. “That feels good.” You hummed, blindly running a hand through his hair, knowing he loved when you did that. He smiled, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“J?” You asked after a while, he’d stopped rubbing your back once you didn’t feel the pain anymore, “yeah?” He shifted slightly, careful not to move you too much. He turned his head to meet your eyes where you were resting on his shoulder. “I left out one thing about it.” You sighed, shuffling yourself to be sitting up more, your boyfriend nodded, although he already knew what you were going to say, he wanted to let you say it. He rested his hand in your lap for you to play with. “Go ahead baby.” He assured you, when you met his soft caring eyes you couldn’t help but get emotional. “It’s super common for pcos to cause infertility and I know we’re not there yet but you deserve to know now, and if–“ you stopped to breathe and the tears started flowing. He rushed to sit up with you, “there’s no ifs, I’m here for the long haul, ok?” He assured you, cupping your face to keep you looking at him. “I already knew that baby, I looked it up while you were eating.” He added, frowning when you cried harder. “You looked it up?” You sniffled, “that’s so sweet!” You groaned, hugging him tightly. He sighed into your hair, “I think you need some sleep.” He laughed, feeling you nod against him.

“Goodnight baby.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as he laid down with you, relishing in the small smile on your lips as you finally felt at ease for the night.

***

Time had passed, and you both fell into a routine, eventually moving in together once you hit the one year mark. And that was already some time ago.

But over the last few months you both had noticed a change in your symptoms and decided to schedule an appointment with your doctor.

***

Jamie got out of his truck the second he got your text that said you were coming out, due to covid protocols put in place, he was unable to come in with you for your appointment, which made you even more on edge than you thought it would. You figured you’d done it plenty of times before, but knowing that he couldn’t come inside was terrifying.

He watched the doors of the medical center with concern as he rubbed the back of his neck, when he saw you walk out, eyes darting to find him as you shoved your mask into your purse, tears already pricking the corner of your eyes. He stepped forward, taking his weight off the side of his truck as you spotted him, “hey, hey, Y/N.” Jamie mumbled as you wrapped your arms around him in a shaky hug. He felt his heart clench as you cried into his shirt, “baby, talk to me.” He spoke gently, pushing you back enough to meet your eyes. “Surgery.” You squeaked out, you both knew it was a possible outcome, having done the watch and wait method for over a year. He listened intently as you recited nearly everything word for word that the doctor had said.

***

That was three months ago, a simple surgery that plenty of people have and it goes smoothly, turned into a three month process, between the pre op, and the scheduling, and the ultrasounds.

But now, now it was finally time for you to go in, and you were terrified and calm all at once. You weren’t scared for the anesthesia, or for the actual removal of the cysts, you were worried that something would go wrong and they’d have to remove your entire ovary, granted that would still leave you with one, but that didn’t make it any less disheartening.

The doctors had come and made their rounds, each one going over everything with you, over the statistics and the possible complications, only furthering your anxiety. When your gynecologist came in, dressed in her scrubs and ready to have you wheeled off to the operating room, she could see the way you were panicking and squeezing Jamie’s hand tightly. “I know she’s going to be put to sleep, but is there something she can have to take the edge off?” Jamie asked as you looked over with a pleading face. “Yes, of course.” She came over and rested a hand on your shoulder, “you’re going to do great.” She assured you, giving Jamie a reassuring smile as well. The second she left the room you burst into tears, “no baby.” He gave you a soft smile, pulling his mask down to kiss your forehead, “it’s going to be ok, no matter what happens. You’re so tough.” He wiped under your eyes, looking over as the anesthesiologist came in, along with a nurse, “I’m going to give you something to take the edge off, you should feel it pretty quickly alright?” He explained, waiting until you agreed to connect it to your IV.

Jamie watched as you took a couple of deep breaths before looking at him with a much calmer face, he held in a chuckle, “you feeling it baby?” He asked you, giving you one last hand squeeze, you nodded lazily. “Yeah.” You answered, already feeling sleepy, he couldn’t help but smile at how girlish it was making you act, “alright, I love you.” He reminded you with one more kiss to the forehead as they popped the brakes off the bed, “I love you.” You repeated as you stared up at the ceiling, he could tell you had a kind of blank face under your mask. He was just glad to see you not freaking out, as he felt the anxiety transfer to him as they rolled you away, leaving him in the empty room to wait for you.

It felt like an eternity to him, as he knew the surgery was only supposed to take thirty or so minutes, but he also knew they wouldn’t tell him anything until you were already waking up in recovery.

That was nearly three hours later, and he literally jumped to his feet when the doctor came in. She assured him everything went as good as she expected, it was just more difficult to get too, nothing went wrong and you were coming out any moment. He thanked her repeatedly as he felt his heart rate settle, after staring at a wall for so long, he turned to Google and that only worsened his anxiety on why it was taking so long.

When they finally brought you in, you still hadn’t seen the doctor because you had been so out of it, so you instantly looked at him with wide eyes, more awake now. “You did good, baby, don’t worry.” He assured you, standing beside the bed once they locked it in place, the nurse smiled as she charted everything on the computer beside you. “Are you Jamie?” She asked with a giggle, making your face heat up under your mask, “yes.” He answered, not tearing his eyes off you as he could see the puffiness in them from your breakdown earlier. He laced his hand with yours, rubbing it reassuringly as you sighed in relief. “She was asking for you before she could even keep her eyes open.” The nurse told him, earning a soft chuckle from his mouth. “Sounds like her.” He hummed in agreement, tuning into the nurses words as she started telling you what you needed to do before they would let you go, both of them surprised when you did them instantly, the doctor signing off on your release as you seemed more than fit to go home in the care of Jamie.

He was more than attentive to your every need, almost to the point where you got annoyed, but you knew he meant well so you let him do whatever he thought you needed.

You were extremely grateful to have him here with you, knowing that just because you’d gotten it fixed this one time, doesn’t mean it won’t come back. He didn’t let you think like that for long as he brought you back to the present with a gentle kiss to your temple as you leaned on his chest. “S’proud of you.” He mumbled, even though you didn’t do anything, he knew it took a lot for you to make the decision to do this. You didn’t have to answer as you curled further into him, a silent thank you for everything.

taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo

[ghcstvalleychief]

My issue with the way the fandom treats Apo is that I see a lot of ableism. People like to bring up homophobia and the constant questions of his sexuality as well as colorism and racism within the industry, which is valid because he’s been vocal about it but, I see a hell of a lot of ableist thinking when it comes to him. I’m ADHD and autistic and I see a lot of neurodivergent traits in Apo, definitely ADHD vibes to me personally. I see people commenting on his body language and habits but really most of the time he’s just stimming. Which he does A LOT and in many different ways. He’s blunt without being unkind, very stubborn when he’s made up his mind, he’s boisterous and loud, he meditates to center himself and battle anxiety, he’s constantly poking and touching everyone around bc that’s how he shows affection, he loves vivid colors and wears whatever he’s most comfortable in ex: His (and Porsche’s) habit of rolling his sleeves up and adding to that his picky eating screams sensory issues to me. But the audience reacts to him in a very “manic pixie dream girl” way and reduces it all to “quirkiness” and “awww how cute” and it just rubs me the wrong way.

The problem is that when people see that as childlike it then automatically translates into immaturity and naïveté. The fans infantilize him constantly and the tone can be both positive and negative but in the end it accomplishes the same thing: taking away his agency and therefor putting into question every single choice he makes. He’s been very open about the abuse he’s suffered in the industry and it’s obvious he’s been taken advantage of in the past and discriminated against due to the way he naturally presents himself. So it’s super disheartening to see people talk about him like he’s completely naive to the world around him when I see the opposite. He has made a clear and public choice to not mask things people have a problem with and he’s surrounded himself with a support system in people like Mile.

I think that’s why the Pond allegations really piss me off. Apo knows his shit in the industry and it’s been talked about by the people who work with him. You literally see cast members asking him for acting advice or behind the scenes crew asking him his opinions on things because his knowledge and experience is valuable. From what I remember he also helped to get KP running with BOC - even though this fandom gives all of that credit to Mile - and is a huge reason the Thai film is even being made. Instead people had to run with the “sleeping with the boss” schtick which again, disregards all of his accomplishments and puts him into a box of only being successful because he’s cute and pretty.

He knows who he is and he knows what he wants and he’s going to be himself the whole way. The fans seem to be unable to see that and in my own experience with this, I can say, it really frickin hurts when your proven capability gets questioned at literally every turn just because people are ignorant and ableist.

I’ve had these conversation in private to friends who agreed with this take but since you’re someone who seems able to listen and give good feedback, I’m curious as to what your thoughts are. If you feel this is stupid or you think it might cause you more problems, then please feel free to ignore me.

(Reading this just made me realize that I may not have undiagnosed ADHD at all, and it actually may be autism. Huh, now THAT'S a revelation but I digress..)

I completely agree! People don't realize that the infantilization of Apo is quite harmful. You think of him as your cute little uwu baby and that's a good thing, right? However, with that comes a completely different can of worms. No one takes children and young people seriously. No one sees children and/or young people as human beings so they essentially don't exist as individuals. So if people don't see you as a mature adult with your own mind and agency, it makes it easier for them to disregard, ignore, and discredit your opinions when they disagree with your perspectives. That's the problem that results from all of this.

For the longest time, I found it odd because you have people in this fandom who consider Apo to be a child when he's older than certain groups of this fandom. He's older than some of his cast mates, but he gets treated as if he's younger than cast mates who are chronologically younger than him. Honestly, you may be onto something when you say this viewpoint of Apo could stem from some form of ableism among other things.

They want Apo to fall in line. They want to put him in this box, but they're going to suffer from disappointment once they realize that he's his own person and he's not going to do what they want him to do. He's going to do what's best for him, and that's his right. You may not agree with it, and that's fine. You can still support and like someone without agreeing with all of their choices. But their willingness to see Apo as an immature airhead further discredits his own expertise in the film industry as if he doesn't know a thing or two about all of this. Implying that he's involved with that man tells me that these people aren't really fans of Apo if they believe he would need to do something like that to get ahead. Which is absolutely disgusting, by the way.

[mcyt-imagines]

okay can i request a technoblade x male!reader, where techno and the reader are fighting someone *maybe quackity its not important tho) together and the reader gets injured, techno gets worried but realizes the reader can handle himself? sorry if thats too specific

I have combined this request and another request for a male reader fluff fanfic, so the ending is a little softer than a fighting fic may usually be! However, this is basically gender-neutral, whenever I added gender-specific pronouns it seemed really forced?? So I just left that out, I hope that’s okay! Enjoy :D

Underestimated 

It had only been a few days since Quackity’s butcher army attempted to publicly execute Technoblade. He hadn’t left your side since he returned home, hand in yours or arm wrapped around your waist as if to remind himself you were still here with him despite everything. Techno had been making preparations for another attack when he knew they would inevitably return to try again. But Techno never knows when to stop and start taking care of himself, that’s when you stepped in to pull him away from his plans and into your arms. It was as if the second his head hit your chest all adrenaline he had been running on the past few days, ran out. That was about 6 hours ago, and the two of you still had no intent on moving any time soon.

Your hands toyed with his hair as he continued to read slowly to you, glasses reflecting the soft warm glow from the nearby fire. It’s crackles had slowly been lulling you to sleep against Techno’s chest, mouth pressed loosely against his calm pulse. His hand rubbing soft circles into your skin at your back beckons you deeper into your subconscious, the soft rumbling of his voice fading fast in your ears.

A slam of the front door sends both yourself and Techno bolting up, tangled in long limbs and a lack of space as Phil comes into view from around your fireplace. “Quackity’s headed here!” Phil chokes out, obviously having run a considerable distance to deliver such a message, Techno stands, and you follow suit. “Already? He’ll be underprepared.” Techno mused, moving to start gathering his supplies. Tools recently sharpened, potions brewed days ago, and stacks of fireworks prepped for firing.

You mirror his actions, gathering your weapons with a bridled enthusiasm. You hadn’t been home when Quackity and his army had taken Technoblade and you had beat yourself up over that fact. Knowing that perhaps the outcome could have been different if you’d been there, you were going to make sure that was the case this time. Mind distracted by theoretical outcomes you equip your armour with practiced familiarity, knowing you’ve done this hundreds of times before. But only this time did it truly matter. 

A hand presses to your shoulder and you turn, “You’re staying inside the house. You know I can’t lose you, not now, not ever.” His hand moves from your shoulder to your hips, squeezing softly. Your eyes search his and only find pain and worry. “I’m fighting with you; you know I can handle myself Tech.” He looks away from your face, unable to meet your gaze.  He knows you’re right.

And he also knows you won’t take no for an answer. Especially considering they were able to take him to Manberg last time. “Fine.” He huffs out, “But you have to keep this.” Techno takes the golden charm off of his shirt, the small totem’s eyes glinting as he pins it to your shirt. You open your mouth to question him, “I have another for myself, don’t worry.” He meets your eyes then but only for a second, pulling you tightly to his chest. “Be safe my love.” His lips press soft atop your hair, “I always am.” You raise your head and meet his lips, hand cupping the back of his neck before pulling away with a smile. “Time to kick ass, huh?”

Even on the battlefield, you can tell that Technoblade is still worried, he is distracted by your presence in the fight. You intend to prove during this fight that his anxiety is for naught, Quackity didn’t even bother with a spiel about how Techno deserves this and he’s going to get justice instead opting to fight instantly. His butcher army stood by his side and seemed to assume Technoblade would be alone, Phil and yourself rid them of that assumption as quick as it had come. You were quick to notice they were down a man, Ranboo was missing. Technoblade was right, they were underprepared.

Fundy’s blade clashed with your own, drawing your eyes off of Techno and onto him. “He has to face justice; can’t you see that!?” There was no skill or nuance to his attacks only power behind them making them hard to block but easy to predict. However, you were breaking a sweat as he finally managed to nick your shoulder, with a particularly quick thrust of his sword your armour fracturing upon impact. You muffle your cry of pain with a grunt, nailing the fox hybrid with a deep slash across his chest. Fundy fell backward with a cry, shaking as you stab downwards into his chest and finish the job, his body disappearing and his items popping out of seemingly thin air.

You look over to where you last saw Phil, Tubbo now squirming futilely beneath his sandal. Your head whips around as Quackity screeches, bloody body barely making it to the ground before disappearing. It seems you’d at least get a good haul of loot from these idiots. Techno’s eyes are frantic searching for you for a moment, you watch as his body visibly relaxes when he spots you. “Are you alright?” His hands are all over you, feeling for any injuries. You intake sharply when he gets to your shoulder and he growls, “That bastard.” You place your hand over his, “It’s merely a scratch Tech. I’m fine. Are you okay?” You are acutely aware of the growing patch of crimson on his torso, white shirt stained dark. “Nothing I can’t patch up.” He grumbles, hands tentatively pressing on and around the area.

Techno refuses to let you patch him up first, practically throwing you onto the kitchen table so he can get a closer look at your shoulder. It’s barely even a scratch. But you’re quick to realise it’s a great excuse for him to touch you so gently. Pressing on your skin as if too much pressure would cause you to shatter completely. “You dropped your arm to avoid the brunt of the force behind his blade,” Techno observes looking to you to confirm, you shrug lightly in response. “I’ve seen you do it before. Watched you do it the other day when you were sparring with Phil.” 

He nods solemnly, deciding he truly can’t do anything about your shoulder. Due to it being a scratch and nothing more, as you had said several times. “Well, for someone who just watched me do it you completed the move pretty well.” His eyes can’t meet yours and you smile softly, “Eh, my reflexes are just pretty good. Not a whole lotta skill involved for me.” You are quick to change the subject, ushering him onto the table so you can look at his torso wound.

Your fingers are nimble, working through each stitch with a practiced precision that Techno watches with a keen but relaxed eye. You’re usually the one to patch him up, he can do it sure, you’re just better. And maybe he secretly likes how close you have to get to him and how gentle your hands work against his skin. “I was watching you… during the battle I mean, you made short work of Fundy.” Your hands still for a moment fumbling with the bandage, your eyes move to his and he looks away quickly. “You were? I uh, he isn’t traditionally trained or anything, so he wasn’t much of an opponent.”

You force yourself to keep your brain on track, tightening the bandage around his middle as gently as you can. One of his hands grabs your wrist, you still immediately and meet his eyes. “I… you really can’t take a compliment, can you?” His sigh is soft, and his eyes are warm, “What I’ve been trying to say is that I’m sorry for underestimating your skills and that I’m proud to fight by your side.” Even as he says such sweet things, he still can’t seem to hold your gaze. The grin on your face is enough to bring his gaze back however, “Best be getting used to fighting with me then because I don’t plan on budging anytime soon.” Your lips press firmly to his cheek a few times before he turns his head to catch your lips.

“We can start training tomorrow because I’m still exhausted.” Techno groans, shifting to get off of the table, your hand finding his with ease and leading him back over to the fire where the two of you had been hours earlier. That’s when you notice his hair, you gasp softly and take a seat in front of the fire. Techno moves to sit behind you, you quickly pat the ground in front of you. “Your braid’s come loose, let me fix it for you.” 

He moves with vigor at your words, knowing your nimble hands against his scalp will send him to sleep in minutes. The warm glow of the fire highlights his bright eyes as they peek back at you every few moments, “Head forward, my prince.” You press a few soft kisses to the back of his head and his hands snake around to knead your soft thighs. You huff out a breath of air as your cheeks heat up at his ministrations  

“I’m trying to focus on your hair here.” You grumble, “What?” You can hear the smirk in his voice, so in retaliation, you focus your full attention on his hair, not noticing his hands on your thighs begin to slow their movements until they stop, and you’ve finished the braid. “Techno?” The soft snoring you hear in response warms your chest and you carefully manoeuvre him to lay down on the plush fur rug in front of your fireplace. 

He’s normally a light sleeper, which means he truly must’ve been exhausted by that fight. You quietly lay next to him, tangling your legs and wrapping an arm over his chest being careful near his wound. “I love you, Techno.” A kiss to the side of his face doesn’t wake him as the crackling fire and howling of the chilly wind outside lulls you into a peaceful sleep.

~Requests are always open!~