#and trying to use my student status to do interesting things even though it would push back finding full time employment

[chaos-coming]

Ok ive decided i hate my job (not new) and i hate the dumbass students at my university (also not new. Entire campus chock full with blond dreadlocks and lederhosen), theres no grad student culture here and im too old to be hanging out with bachelor students who dont know anything (the central european university system is trash and also only 3 years) and have seen exactly their 100km of the world (plus or minus that one trip to se asia that umbued in them such insufferable arrogance) and whose definition of activism begins and ends with throwing a solidarity party (where the donations pay first for the cost of buying booze instead of actually going to a cause)...

But i digress (read: lost my train of thought partway through ranting about these provincial snobs). What im trying to say is besides hating my university and most of the idiots in it, i think im just done with the student scene in general like im sick and tired of being at the mercy of the exam schedule, and the peter pan never wanting to face the real world mentality of everybody there. I need to be surrounded by people looking forward not trying depserately to cling to a moment that may already have passed

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love That Burns ~ 19

LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,670ish

Summary: You and Logan grow closer, though you are both still struggling with everything. But you both make progress.

Warnings: talk of death, nightmares, fire, injuries

Notes: PLEASE share reactions!

Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 

Logan couldn’t take his eyes off of you as your group stood in the Oval Office. Charles has froze everyone but the President while Ororo created a storm outside for cover. Everyone else was staring at the President, but Logan couldn’t rip his eyes away from you. You were standing on the other side of Charles, one hand holding tightly to the back of the wheelchair like it was your lifeline. Logan was growing more concerned for you with each passing second. Stryker has tortured you, experimented on you, and forced you to become a mindless soldier. You then killed Stryker and watched Jean sacrifice herself. That would be a lot for anyone, but especially in the same day.

When your group got back to the mansion, Logan silently walked you to your room. He listened in carefully as he changed in his own room for any signs of distress from you. He was ready to jump in at a moments notice. Eventually, many of you made it down to Charles’ office.

“You know, even when Jean was a student, she was always hesitant about her powers,” Charles said. “Always looking to others… feeling that is someway, she was left behind.”

“Do you think—“ Scott’s emotions forced him to pause. “Could we have done more to save her?”

“In the past, she may have let us.”

“There had to be another way,” you whispered. “Why did she leave the plane?”

“Because she made a choice.” A knock sounded at the door. “Yes, come on in.” 

Students began entering the office. You quickly left, Logan hot on your tail.

“Y/N,” he called. “Y/N, wait.” He reached forward to try and grab hold of your wrist.

You yanked your arms out of Logan’s reach and headed down the stairs to the lab. Logan continued to follow, only stopping with you finally reached the lab. You looked around at the area.

“Our relationship was an interesting one,” you said quietly. “Little sister, big sister… then it changed to best friends… I always knew that people would die around me because I’m slow to age… I just thought that I had a few more years left.”

“Is that why we dated? Because it could last?”

“No,” you shook your head. “We dated because we were already in love with each other… We left Stryker’s team and built a small house in the mountains. You were a lumberjack and I as a school teacher. We had a few years of awkward relationship status until one night changed that… Years passed and you proposed.” You looked down, taking the ring that lay between Logan’s dog tags between your fingers. “Then our peaceful life got interrupted and it was never the same again.”

“I wish I could remember all of that.”

“Me too.”

Logan slowly walked up to you, moving around to stand in front of you. “I… I talked with Jean. Before we went to Alkali, we talked.”

“About what?”

“You. Us.”

“And?”

“And I want to know what you know.”

“Okay.”

“But I also want to start over. I’m not the same person you fell in love with. I also am struggling with my own feelings on the whole thing. I know that it’s asking a lot of you to start over but—“

You shut him up by placing a hand over his mouth. “Starting over sounds perfect.”

~~~

The two of you stayed in the lab and talked through the night. You told him everything you knew about his life before you’d met him. His birthday. His half-brother Victor. The wars. Then you moved on to explain Stryker’s team. You told him about your teammates and your mission and the night that James had asked you to leave. You told him about building a new life after the team and how the two of you finally took action on your feelings. It became harder for you to go through what happened when you reached the proposal and Stryker reappearing in your lives. You told him how Victor put you down and how James somehow found you and buried you. You explained Stryker’s Island and what he was doing there. All the way up until the moment Stryker shot James and Charles forced you away from him.

Logan stayed quiet for the most part. Only speaking up when he had clarifying questions. He allowed you to take your time over the harder parts of the story, which you appreciated. 

“I’m sorry,” is all he could say as he took all the information in once you were done.

You shrugged. “There’s really nothing we can do about it now… besides, it’s not your fault.”

“Thank you for finally telling me. I know it was hard.”

You gave him a soft smile. “You’re welcome.” A yawn suddenly took over, causing Logan to chuckle at you.

“Come on,” Logan stood up, pulling you along with him, “let’s get you to bed.”

“Not tired,” you mumbled.

“Whatever you saying, darlin’.” You stumbled, your body truly exhausted from everything you had gone through. “Up you go.” 

Logan easily picked you up and carried you upstairs. Those who had actually slept through the night, were not up, getting ready for their day while you were just about to get some rest. Logan tucked you into bed and kissed your forehead. He paused at the door, glancing back at you. When you had told him about your shared past, you mentioned that you had nightmares like him. It made him wonder if recent events would cause those to resurface. He prayed to whatever God there could be that that wasn’t the case. You didn’t deserve the pain that Logan knew all too well.

~~~

As the days since Alkali lake passed, you and Logan began rekindling your friendship. Though you both had feelings towards one another, you both knew that you needed to get to know each other again. It started with mostly silent moments: eating together, walking together, sitting together. Logan would find you after your classes were through, sitting in your classroom with you as you graded assignments. The two of you soon began teasing each other and having lighthearted conversations.

You began to run the X-Men again, working in the Danger Room often with the next generation, Logan, Storm, and Scott. Though, more often than not, Scott would bail. He was not dealing well with Jean’s death. Logan wasn’t a big fan of team trainings, really only participating when Scott wouldn’t show and you begged him. He much preferred the training sessions where it was just you and him. He was constantly enamored by you during the sessions. How confident you were with your mutation and how well you could fight without it. It was becoming harder and harder to hold back his feelings with you.

It was growing harder for you as well. You were struggling to not slip back into old habits you thought had died long ago. Like the times Logan was in the kitchen when you woke. You longed to come up behind him and just hold him. Or when the two of you were walking side by side, your hand needed to be held back in order to not slip into Logan’s hand. There were also times the two of you would be talking and you felt like you were back at you home in the Canadian Rookies. But then you would say something and quickly have to take it back after the look on Logan’s face. 

Logan and James were the same person, yet so different. James had been much more gentle and kind towards you and the world. Logan had a rougher exterior and wasn’t willing to open his heart up easily. James had bones for claws. Logan had adamantium, causing him to be a lot heavier. James slept, having the occasional nightmare. Logan never slept, only ever having nightmares. James had the memories of you two falling in love. Logan has bits and pieces that were barely there.

Logan could tell that you were having a hard time with the fact that he had changed. He knew that you were getting used to it and very willing to understand who he was now, but he could tell that sometimes it made you sad. You had all these memories that he didn’t have. Logan could also tell that you were having a hard time dealing with Jean’s death, the torment that you had gone through in Alkali, and killing Stryker. You would never admit it to him though, no matter how many times he asked how you were doing.

One night, you mind decided to be real cruel to you. You hadn’t had a nightmare yet, but tonight your mind decided to throw you back into Stryker’s clutches. He was torturing you, taunting you about the pain Logan had gone through and blaming you. 

Logan had barely fallen asleep when his nose caught whiff of it. Your smoke. He sat up and sniffed a few times, making sure he wasn’t imagining things. Your familiar scream echoed through the air. Before Logan knew it he was out of bed and in front of your door. He whipped the door open, only to be greeted by an overwhelming fire. He stumbled back as it threatened to enter the hall.

“Y/N!” Logan yelled, trying to get your attention. “Y/N!”

The fire alarm sounded through the school, waking the students. The students rushed around in a panic until Charles came through their minds, telling them to get outside. Ororo appeared next to Logan as the flames threatened to exit your room.

“What’s going on?” Ororo wondered.

“I don’t know!” Logan responded. “Smelt the smoke and heard her scream.”

“Do you want me to try and put it out?”

“Can you do that?”

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe if she’s burnt a hole in the roof.”

You screamed out again.

“We can’t wait for that,” Logan muttered.

“What are you—Logan, no!”

But Ororo was too late. Logan headed into your burning room. He groaned as the flames attacked his skin and clothing. He continued to fight through the flames. Through the smoke and fire, Logan could see you thrashing around on your bed. You were whimpering and mumbling something he couldn’t understand.

“Y/N,” he coughed, kneeling on the bed beside you. “Y/N, wake up.” He grabbed your over heated skin, trying to gently shake you awake. “Pl—Please—sweetheart.” His coughs got worse as the smoke and flames thickened.

“Logan!” He could hear Ororo cough from outside.

“GO!” He shouted back at her. He knew that you would never forgive yourself if anyone got hurt. “Baby, I need you to wake up!”

You sat up with a start. Your eyes were frantically searching the area, like you didn’t know where you were. Logan’s hands came up to your face, carefully holding it to try to ground you on him.

“Logan,” you breathed out, confused. “Oh my!” The flames suddenly disappeared. “What did I do?! What did I do?!”

“Hey, hey, hey, sweetheart,” Logan tried to remain as calm as possible. “You woke up. You stopped it.”

“Did I…?”

“I far as I know, no one is injured. Everyone got out safely.”

You nodded as much as his hands would allow it. Finally, you looked at him. Logan’s skin was healing the burns that you had caused. His clothes were burned through in various places, barely hanging on.

“Oh my…” Your hand moved to rest against his chest, but you never let it touch. Too scared to do anymore damage than you already had.

“I’m okay.”

“I hurt you.” Tears began to slip down your cheeks. You pulled yourself out of Logan’s hold, trembling as you got off the bed and backed yourself into the corner.

“I can handle it.” Logan stood up but didn’t get any closer.

You looked at your room. The room was black, practically burnt to a crisp. Your arms wrapped around you as you slid down to the floor.

“I’m so sorry,” you cried. “I didn’t mean to.”

“No one is mad at you,” Logan said, coming around the bed to kneel in front of you. “Was it a nightmare?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded. “It was a mixture of everything bad in my life… it was so overwhelming.”

“Y/N!” Ororo said, rushing in. “You’re okay!”

“I’m fine, Ororo. How is everyone else?”

“Everyone got out safely. Scott and the Professor are figuring out what to do right now.”

~~~

Charles had to buy out every able room at the nearby hotel. You refused to choose a room, saying it was too dangerous. Logan wouldn’t have you sleeping outside so he dragged you into his room. You looked around, noting that there was only one bed in the room.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” Logan immediately offered.

“No, you own’t need to,” you responded with a shake of your head. “Sleep on the bed. I should probably sleep in the tub, just in case.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I need to make sure I don’t burn the place down. The tub will allow you to put me out quickly if a fire starts.”

“You’re not sleeping in the tub. Get on the damn bed, sweetheart.”

“Logan—“

“This is not an argument you’re going to win, darlin’. Bed. Now.”

You hated how aroused you were at his dominance. And, knowing Logan well, you knew he could smell it. You crawled onto the bed and slipped into it before patting the space next to you.

“Please don’t sleep on the floor,” you quietly requested. “If id on’t have a choice, you don’t either.”

Logan slid in beside you, keeping a respectful distance. You hated that the mere inches between you felt like miles.

“Goodnight, Logan,” you whispered. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

~~~

The bed felt different when you woke up. Warmer. Firmer. Opening your eyes, you noticed at you were practically on top of Logan. He was sleeping soundly. You allowed yourself to study his face. How he seemed so at peace. How his wrinkles were smoothed out. You didn’t realize how much you loved his wrinkles until now. You began to realize how you also felt more at peace while being next to Logan like this. It had been far too long since you had this feeling. You could tell that tears were threatening to spill. So before you cried on top of Logan, you out off the bed and slipped out of the room.

Logan’s heart dropped when he woke up and couldn’t feel you next to him. He snapped up, quickly looking around for you. He knew he should have done something to lock you into this room—to the bed. If you slept outside or in the tub, he wasn’t going to be happy. Looking at the window, Logan could see your shadow through the thin curtain. 

Quietly, Logan came out of the room. If you noticed him, you didn’t say anything. You were turned away from him, staring down where the hotel pool was. Logan couldn’t help himself, it was like a habit, as he walked towards you and wrapped his arms around you. You immediately leaned back into him. His brows creased together when he realized that you were crying. He pulled you back into the room, never letting you go.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly.

“I’m sorry,” you cried. He turned your around, allowing you to cry into his chest as he held you.

“For what?”

“For missing you… even though you’re right here.”

Logan’s heart dropped. This had been the first time you had admitted any of your struggles. It was also the struggle he didn’t know if you’d ever admit to him. Logan quickly hugged you tighter and kissed your head. He let you cry into his chest as he held you close. Logan needed to find a way to get his memories back. Not for him. But for you.

next chapter >

[suiana]

Can we get a delinquent yandere fic?

I love your writing so so much, I can’t get enough of it!<3

sounds super interesting! btw I'll be doing headcanons instead of a fic because headcanons are more of my speciality 🥲 I'll try writing a fic soon though

✎ yandere! delinquent headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― violence, possessiveness etc.

(gn! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! delinquent who absolutely hated your guts. fucking hell! why did you, the student council president, have to always interfere in whatever he's doing?! don't you have better things to do???

✎ yandere! delinquent who always has a scowl on his face when he comes to school. god damnit! why were you the one on duty checks almost every single day?? you keep making him tuck in his shirt and it looks fucking nerdy! you're such a pissy president, god!

✎ yandere! delinquent who always lands himself in detention because of his violent actions against you. but he didn't expect you to be so strong? how can you, a tiny and annoying president, block his slap??? he's so much bigger than you too??? how do you have so much strength in your body??? why does he find it sort of hot??? must be the hormones...

✎ yandere! delinquent who fell for you after you absolutely demolished him in a taekwondo match. what the fuck?! how the hell did you manage to win against him?? you even have a black belt??? that's so hot???

✎ yandere! delinquent who doesn't really hate you that much anymore. he starts treating you with more respect and a hint of gentleness. he still hates you but not like he used to. when I tell you, this delinquent absolutely LOVES people who are physically stronger than him

✎ yandere! delinquent who is always requesting for a rematch. like he would literally just barge into your class in the middle of a lesson to get you to fight him. and then he gets humbled. badly. it's a vicious cycle unfortunately. delinquent must be a masochist or something...

✎ yandere! delinquent who is always rejecting the idea that he fell for you. he just finds you interesting, that's all! he's a big tsundere.

✎ yandere! delinquent who, despite claiming he has no feelings for you, is always beating up people who are infatuated with you. why does he feel so much rage when someone other than him likes you? it's cause you like them dumbass!

✎ yandere! delinquent who tries to impress you by showing off new skills during your rematches. he thinks it'll win against you but he's horribly mistaken. like, hah! take that president- *gets pummeled down by someone way shorter than him*

✎ yandere! delinquent who now looks forward to school, his daily detention sessions and your frequent taekwondo rematches. god, you're so hot??? just fucking beat him up already???

✎ yandere! delinquent who always wants your attention on him at all times and uses his status as the school's troubled delinquent against you. like, hello??? he's causing, uh, trouble!! he never thought he would be this needy for someone he supposedly hates...

✎ yandere! delinquent who threatens everyone who tries or even thinks of hurting you. like, only he gets to do that to you! got that? though it's usually him that gets hurt but whatever.

✎ yandere! delinquent who is just so in love with you but totally rejects that idea. you're just his cool sparring partner...who's super hot...and sexy...wait, why's he thinking about you like this?!

✎ "oi president! I demand a rematch! right now!"

[paingoes]

cute delta things i didn’t get to focus on as much as i wanted

ie my underrated facts and as of yet unused whump ideas :)

-he literally faints all the time when using his powers and needs to be carried back out. mostly by simon. sometimes by paris :)

-martino has med students!!! they pop in sometimes i never really acknowledged them directly tho. theyre older than delta but not by that much. he is basically a case study to them but some of them do try ti get close and immediately get demoted/reassigned because of “inappropriate attachment”

-i had this idea for martino taking delta to a medical conference. delta having to be on display/used for tests w really green and overexcited students. extremely awkward stay at the conference hotel. delta is probably high for a lot of it tbh.

-also. delta is on a ton of medications to keep his powers elevated. he is only vaguely aware of this. its actually kinda considered doping in universe so most people are NOT aware of this!!!!

-simon and martino fighting more. i like the idea of simon being gentle w delta and martino going out of his way to try and counteract it and dehumanize him again to preserve his conditioning

-simon and paris talks. simon is way too much of a pussy to confront paris head on and i think they generally get along fine? becuz simon is a bystander. also paris pretends not to remember either of the handlers names even though he definitely knows them.

-delta is totally starved for affection but he would not accept it from just anyone i think hes actually kinda picky about it bizarrely enough. hes v distrusting and when his internet friends tried to be nice to him his response was invariably “just fuck off”…. and he actually likes them he just gets mad anyway cause he cant handle it 😭

-delta and paris kinda just hang out sometimes LOL…. paris always (correctly!) feels like hes in an adversarial environment whenever he has to go anywhere for work and delta is usually the only person there he trusts so if theyre not doing anything else its just gossip time.

-incidentally ^ delta was really deliberately not taught anything about history or politics or ethics at the institute because they didnt want him getting ideas but paris is heavy into that stuff and complains about it so much that delta just picks up on it. he absorbs info like a sponge its why he was such a good whistleblower.

-to me this is obvious but paris’s chillness-over-time graph is a bellcurve. like he is AWFUL at the beginning and awful at the end but in the middle he got very close to actually chilling the fuck out. he barely knew delta in the beginning and i think he did v much warm to him overtime and loosen the parameters of their relationship a lot. this is peak chill time. the assassination ruined everything but paris still… liked delta afterwards he was just insane and dangerous and delta was at ground zero of that. 

         (sidenote: some of the early paris chapters are so bad in terms of what he did and how he was written i actually feel the need to retcon some of it? it took a while for me to hit my stride w him, take the early stuff w a grain of salt)

-anyway. people LIKE delta. even though he doesnt talk hes v cute and unflappable in a way that’s very endearing to people even in empire. people do definitely go out of their way to fuck w him and its dehumanizing and they shouldnt do it but its not necessarily mean-spirited a lot of the time they just think hes interesting.

-sometimes it is meanspirited though. wanted to write something w misc soldiers trying to bully him. cause delta is obviously v submissive and incapable of defending himself but he’s also not trained to obey just anyone. in fact he would have some v large objections to that! (also an excuse to write protective paris at the end lol u know theyre dead)

-more simon carewhumper status. i wrote destroyer before i knew almost anything about whump like i didnt even know what a “carewhumper” was when i wrote it so i was surprised to see someone tag it w that. i guess it’s technically true! anyway i feel bad i let simon fall so much to the wayside. i think delta deserved more comfort over the events of destroyer and his relationship w simon really was very important to him so its on my list.

-thorn era sickfic. maybe the same psychic fever that makes him loopy? might be good for a non-canon bonus i cant tell if it would be more hurt or comfort yet

-this is a lot to get into but if i had to explain the way delta’s powers “worked” i would say that his only true ability is being a conduit. he is not really producing anything he is just tapping into something that is already there. it is not a meaningful difference to an outside party but in terms of what it feels like to use them….. its very psychedelic and psychospiritual and trippy. wouldnt recommend. also i really liked the tag that called delta a mage. its cute bcuz he actually loves pulp fantasy. he would like that :)

[ezrazone]

hello, huge admirer of your work & words in general

do you have any advice/ just thoughs for artists in their early 20s trying to make a living off of their passions in the current climate? i think you have very interesting perspective

thank you for the lovely message! i must admit though this entire question is made up of phrases i generally (but compassionately, not indifferently) shrug my shoulders at.

i’m never sure what to say to people asking for career advice specifically, especially people whose particular circumstance and desired field i don’t know. i’m also not sure what to say to anyone in their early 20s that has to do with that life period in particular, since it’s so different for everybody. i have good friends in their early 20s as well as comics students that age, but i don’t have age-specific wisdom for them since i’m not that much older than they are! my early 20s were spent beginning my transition and working a string of back-breaking jobs that i would happen to quit at precisely the right time to qualify for lockdown-era increased unemployment benefits (BERNIE BUCKS!!!!). remember how the united states showed its hand that it could use all the superprofits that it extracts thru blood all around the world to create a cushy welfare state for millions of people but only did it for a few months (partly because it sought to increase repression again after the george floyd uprisings)? anyway.... during that brief period of financial peace i was able to shape up my portrait skills and find the beginnings of my voice as a cartoonist. i wish i could gift that to everybody. every person deserves periods of quiet to figure out what they're doing. the truth is just that i got very lucky. so i'm not interested in being an aspirational symbol if anyone is under the impression that my advice can guarantee an artmaking practice that might resemble the one i have found for myself. i guess when i think about your phrase, "make a living off of their passions", i just want to reassure you that no matter your circumstances, the value of your passions is not dictated by your ability to make a living off of them. like let's just unpack the phrase "make a living" and pause for a moment to feel just a smidgen of how violent this cultural pay-to-play arrangement is. whenever possible, you should make money in whatever way will crush your spirit the least while meeting the needs that you have. my priority is always pursuing the maximum amount of freedom; sometimes that means freedom from losing my mind about rent every month, so i need to pick up a few shifts as a house manager at a local theater. sometimes that freedom means thinking about hot draculas the entire time i'm working at the theater. sometimes it means ending a project! i also really want to encourage every artist, if i possibly can, to attempt in their every day life and in their work to divest from the REAL CAREER vs. HOBBY psychic binary as much as possible. always. forever, until the distinctions explode. the truth of the matter, as i understand it, is not just that the best things in life are free or fucking whatever, but that the most meaningful ways you can spend your time do not necessarily involve deliberately optimizing your goddamn personal brand. you never need to be embarrassed about not spending enough time doing art, as if your status as an artist is paid for in any kind of labor that you can simply increase until the A in Artist becomes capitalized. to believe that would require a belief that everyone who is universally regarded as an Artist has simply worked hard enough. that's a myth and we know better. what horseshit! and as an adult i have also learned that periods of deep rest are often more enriching to me than periods of work. and even when i am employed up to my gills i am always cultivating the wise and endless spirit of a NEET. i am passionate about my art but i am also passionate about my life, and i welcome art in when it is actually viable and beneficial for me to do so. the only actual art-career-specific advice i will tell everyone though is: think bigger than fame as a protective suit (like, thinking that if you can just get a big enough audience you will be OK forever) and solo-written graphic novels (or whatever the "look what i did all by myself" equivalent is in your industry) and the fucking psychic wedgie that is relying on commissioned illustrations to survive.

there are grants that you can discover via many search engines that may allow you to fund the art career you actually want. do you want to teach? you get to teach. do you want to host reading nights? you can do that, too. i cannot tell you how much time i wasted trying to squeeze the things i was actually interested in into an "art career" shape that had little to nothing to do with what actually fed my life.

also: other artists are the greatest gift to all artists. your contribution to something is never diminished by another person's work. i think the best way to come back to this for myself as a cartoonist is to just initiate jam comic sessions (drawing panels back and forth to create one-page stories). little else brings me back down to earth as fast as passing a piece of paper back and forth with @tomb-of-madeline lol

i hope any kernel of this is helpful to you. i wish you the best on your journey, and i'd love to know what you end up making if we connect again anytime in the future.*

*there is no deadline to anything i have said here. you do not need to impress me ever and certainly not anytime soon.

oh and if you are a comics person i have a three-part lecture available to watch for free called experimental mini-comics for all! a lot of what i’ve said here is also there if only in spirit lol my attitude towards artmaking is fairly consistent in these regards

ezra

[the-reading-diaries]

Some quick thoughts about the relationship between humans and gods in the Odyssey and in the Iliad

Hey, guys! So, for my first post I thought I'd share my current read which is actually a reread: the Odyssey. Yes, I know, it's no shock that a Greek student would be reading Homer (yet again), but it's been a while since I last read it, so I'm very much enjoying seeing Telemachus journey once more. Quick disclaimer before we start: I'm not a professional by any means, I'm in my 4th semester in uni and this blog is a writing exercise that I'm making, so there may be some inaccuracies and incompleteness because it's not my intention to pen an article, but just put materiality to thoughts, yet I'll try my best. If you'd like to, please leave a like or a comment :)

Now, getting to what I actually wanted to share here, one aspect that I find quite alluring in the Odyssey is the relationship between men and Gods. That which, in this book, is quite different than what we see in the Iliad, and I believe that this is an interesting and productive comparative exercise to make. Before getting further in this (very brief) analysis, I realized it's important to address that, considering the timeline of events and the chronological order established between these two works, I take the Iliad as a starting point and from there I analyze and note the differences in those books. Also, it's important to note that the Iliad established the paradigm of Olympic divinity in the ancient world. Well, right in the beginning of the Odyssey, in Book 1, Zeus utters the following:

" [...] ‘Oh for shame, how the mortals put the blame upon us

gods, for they say evils come from us, but it is they, rather,

who by their own recklessness win sorrow beyond what is given, "

(The Odyssey, Book 1, vv. 32-34 - translated by Richmond Lattimore)

This is quite an intriguing assertive coming from him, because it's very distant from his speech and personality in the Iliad, which reminds me of this beautiful yet bitter passage in Book 24 of Achilles talking to Priam, that allows us to take a peek on how mortals understood the actions of their gods, in this case, Zeus:

" [...] The gods

have granted to wretched mortals lives filled

with misery while their own are free of care.

Two jars sit on Zeus’ floor filled with gifts:

one with joy, the other with sorrow. A man

given a mixture of these jars by Zeus will

face ill fortune one day and good the next, "

(The Iliad, Book 24, vv. 525-531 - translated by Michael Heumann)

Now, getting into the "core" of the analysis, the odysseic Zeus seems more sober, somber, serious and distressed after seeing the gods take blame for every disgrace that happens to humans, even though mortals often overlook their advices, presages and warnings. Humans here appear to have a more independent horizon of action. Well, this is all very different if we take in consideration the paradigm of the relationship between men and god in the Iliad. In the Iliad, mortals are the "working field" for the gods, which means, it's quite difficult to put a finger on what is a deliberate action taken independently by men, and what's a god inciting/impelling the human to a desired action. In that case, the greater independence of men seen in the Odyssey allows the centrality of the debate good versus bad, which is rarely seen in the Iliad. From the moment the poet establishes the protagonists and antagonists figures, we turn to a more moral debate, in opposition to the existential iliadic debate. Throughout the initial books we can see how Athena becomes a Mentor (quite literally, pun intended) to Telemachus, who begins his journey to earn status/glory (κλέος) among the Greeks and prove his worth as the son of Odysseus. Well, here's the thing, Telemachus clearly understands that who is accompanying and talking to him is Athena, and although she advises him of x, y and z, if he chose to, he could not do so. What I mean by that is, the relationship between men and gods here seems to be much more transparent, while in the Iliad it's obscure and humans only realize that they've been under the influence of a god usually after of taking action. In the excerpt of the Iliad above, humans appear to be the passive part in the dynamic, only recipients of the will of gods, suffering because it's inherent to our nature. And the Odyssey presents us a quite different perspective, the gods are greater, and their will is more powerful than ours, but still humans are the ones who will have the final choice.

Well, all that demonstrates a change in the poetic tradition established by the Iliad, introducing new perspectives and values to the already known paradigm. This can lead us to a much more complicated and deeper debate: whether the poet of the Iliad and the Odyssey is the same, but I'll not develop this any further.

If you read all of this, 1st, are you ok? 2nd, thank you so much :)

[a-goumang-ripoff]

Confusion, Uncertainty, and Bafflement: A Rant About Goumang

So I've decided to move on to my next rant and thought that I might as well get my namesake out of the way. Funny enough, Goumang is only my favorite sol because she is such a weird character to think about, none of the sols can get my voice nearly as loud in a rant as Goumang does. She confuses me to no end, and I think that confusion is the most interesting part of the entire game for me to think about. Also, her design is so fucking cool, I love Nine Sols' character designs so much but to literally make this cat person into a harpy via genetic modification and prosthetics is such a badass idea, I wish I thought of it myself tbh.

So, to start off this rant: Goumang's position within Nine Sols. She is intended to be the second boss you face in the game, though can be the third (which I heavily recommend, I hate that fight without air dash) and I believe can be the first boss, but I am unsure about that. She is an early-game threat which we learn quite a lot about in her area, and the game holds back nothing by this point giving her what I would argue to be the most disturbing and gruesome end in the entire game, which almost none of the other sols can compare to. I do believe her status as Eigong's other student was stated in her area, but it was something that was lost on me as I wasn't sure what the game meant, I assumed she was one of several and they just happened to be at odds. However there are little features around the game which really paints her to be Yi's rival.

Beyond being Eigong's other student, she also has a passionate hatred for Yi which is far more intense than any hatred the other sols have with one another, and Yi clearly shares this hatred with how he decides to end her, though he keeps himself level-headed in her presence otherwise it seems. She talks to us about the plan she had if she was chosen over Yi, the way she acts in the holograms at the end of the game is painfully antagonistic, and even that picture Eigong has by her eternal sanctum of the two of them together. It weirdly feels like the game is trying to build her up as Yi's rival, but we know Eigong is the true rival fight in the game, not to mention Goumang is dispatched within the first half of the game. I have to ask why the game pushes this so hard. I understand she is realistically physically weak and lacks combat prowess; as Jiequan says, she's just a farmer. But I think I would have preferred her place in the game to get moved up and to treat her more like Yi's rival. It doesn't feel unrealistic for her to learn the same martial arts Yi did at Eigong's recommendation; if anything, it makes more sense for Goumang to take up the idea granted her past.

Another thing which confuses me about Goumang is the mismatch between her backstory and her behavior in-game. Her backstory consists of her growing up seemingly poor in a place that is already in constant famine, then being implied to pull herself up by her bootstraps and become one of the most skilled biologists in Penglai. Her motivations are shown clear to us: she wants to end world hunger on Penglai and had the means to do it with New Kunlun's aid. The servants she has she shows to have actual compassion for (though the way she views them is very much as lesser beings which is not great) and, in the Nine Sols prequel comic, she is shown to be quite a kind person, giving a little girl food and a ride for a mistake that is hardly even hers. And yet everything we see beyond her memories shows her to not only be a jealous bitch who thinks herself better than everyone and seems to pamper herself at any opportunity, but also hold fascist/fascism-adjacent ideologies.

"Optoberries, apemen, even our fellow solarians... they all need greenhouses and incubators. Sacrificing a little freedom and yielding to your superiors is the path to a perfect society[...] The truth is, the weak fear the truth and cannot make choices for themselves."

I know that having a shitty past doesn't automatically make you not become a shitty person, but to hammer in the idea that she had an awful childhood filled with suffering and holds a variety of selfless aspects of her character only to make her act childish and needlessly bitchy just doesn't feel right, it feels like there's really something that we aren't being told. I would be happy to shrug it off as potentially seeing Yi as someone who doesn't deserve the position he got because he had much kinder beginnings than her, but between her childish behavior before the game's confrontation and the fact that she doesn't bring that up in her monologue (instead simply mentioning that she wanted to be chosen over Yi, making it jealousy rather than simple hatred) makes it just feel weird.

On a lighter point, it feels quite a bit odd that she is The Sex Character in the game, especially with how heavy they lean into that. Everything about her just feels sexual. I mean, firstly, she is the only solarian I've seen to wear literally no pants, and her legs tend to be blocking her crotch in a weirdly intentional way. Like, it'd be one thing to do that but have her not have anything between her legs, but it makes it way weirder that her crotch is being constantly blocked, it feels like it's trying to imply her pussy is just out there at all times (and no one cares, which makes it funnier). The two times you can actually see her crotch, there is shading which makes it way too harder to discern anything (yes, I looked, this was a traumatizing realization and I needed to confirm it fully). She also is clearly dominant in both an almost hierarchical sense and a sexual sense, you can literally make Yi call her out saying "you just dominate people for pleasure," and she won't even deny the pleasure part, just corrects Yi on the fact that she's "protecting" instead of dominating. How much more on the nose can you get?

Also, I'm not sure if this is just me or not but doesn't her 'death' scene have a really odd vibe about it? The fact that it's a mind control collar is bad enough, but the way Yi tilts her head up and the gasp from her that plays all makes it even weirder.

The echoes of "mama" from her servants make it only worse. Normally I'd think it's a funny coincidence that ignores sexual contexts around the word, but that quote about dominating people for pleasure makes it feel intentional. The whole thing just feels like a Guro scene and it really twisted my stomach when that got combined with my own issues over leg injuries (I can't believe there's TWO leg injury scenes in the game, not a fun time for me).

Though the weirdest part for me is that I feel like there's a much more prominent candidate for being The Sex Character, that being Nuwa. The drug club she runs genuinely feels a step away from being a sex palace, especially with all the pink imagery (and those dancers). The instrument she plays looks genuinely phallic and the way it's played, with her mouth against the tip, doesn't help. Yet I feel like they leaned away from it quite a bit compared to Goumang. Though, I suppose the incest stuff that surrounds Nuwa and Fuxi may have pushed them away from doing that. Lady Ethereal even seems to have a bit of that stuff going for her... okay I'm starting to realize most of the prominent women in this game have sexual stuff related to them.

Moving on from that startling realization, the last thing I want to talk about is some of the reasoning I've gathered on why a lot of these choices may have been made and how I think Goumang could be improved as a character. One of the major reasons why I think there's such a mismatch in backstory and personality is that I believe they started to write her character and backstory, but then determined how they wanted to use her afterwards. Her fascist ideas and the literal slaves she owns makes her especially gruesome death feel like a jab towards fascist governments and more than likely directed towards the Chinese government (see my previous rant for more context on this). Another reason that mismatch might be present, potentially in combination with the previous one, is that RedCandleGames may have realized that she was being made too good of a person to be one of the sols that are killed, so a sudden shift occurred to make her seem just as crazy and evil as the rest of the sols are.

As for her odd implications of being Yi's rival? My main theory is that it was unintentional, obviously Yi's mentor should be his actual rival, Goumang may have just been placed as her other student to give more reason for her gruesome death or as another way to put her in a more evil position, and then an unintentional rival dynamic was built from that. It also possible she may have just be intended to be a rival fight or have more presence than she does (though, the sols seem to all have a pretty equivalent presence overall). But this is just speculation pretty much.

I think there's quite a few ways to improve her character. For one, I think she could be leaned over towards a less evil standing. I feel as though Yi could have started the game off a lot more evil than he did, it feels like a major portion of his character growth occurs with his time in peach blossom village before the game starts, we don't really get to see him go from hating humans to wanting to protect them, it's an implied shift. I'll likely touch more in depth on this when I rant about Yi, but if he were to be placed in a more evil position, he would have better reason for deciding Goumang is worth killing if she is put in a better standing. Alternatively, go a little more in depth on her backstory, it feels like it's only one step away from being fully believable, if they showed us something which actively made her change ideologies or gain new ones that orient her where she is in the game, I wouldn't feel that mismatch would be as strong as it is.

Overall, I find Goumang's writing to be quite shallow, her personality in-game doesn't feel like anything unique, it feels like a character I've seen several times in the media I've consumed (ignoring the whole fascist thing). If her backstory and personality weren't so mismatched, I believe her writing would have a lot more depth to it and I would feel much less confused about her. I also feel as though she could have been utilized very well as a rival to Yi, though that is a much farther-reaching concept than the changes I've suggested for her writing.

I'll be honest I didn't think I'd talk for 3 paragraphs purely about sex, I was intending to leave it at one but it's just so weird to me that she's used that way. Not that I'm complaining, check my blog's title. More than likely I'll post a follow-up rant on this one which is more about a lot of my less serious thoughts on her, ideas I have of remaking her character and such, just fanon/headcanon bullshit.

[cursedvibes]

This is my time to shine.

Can you do Nanami, Gojo, Yuki, and maybe Toji?

Thanks for the ask! Interesting choice of characters, some of them I usually don't talk or think about that often, so I hope what I have to say is still interesting :'D

Nanami

Sexuality Headcanon:

Hmm, I haven't thought much about this before. He gives me the impression of being interested in romance, maybe even more than sex, so biromantic maybe? And he gives me the vibe of being some flavour of asexual or that sex is not a huge priority for him. Might also be due to stress and depression, who knows.

Gender Headcanon:

Seems pretty cis to me.

A ship I have with said character:

None I can think of. Nanami doesn't really appeal to me that way.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Not sure if this counts as BROTP, but I like the dynamic between him and Yuuji, it's the most interesting thing about him in my opinion. Especially him telling Yuuji that it's okay to be a child and to not take on all the responsibility is very important to me. He was exactly the kind of teacher Yuuji needed at that time.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Mahito. Most of what I see of the two is just so painfully heteronormative. All just boils down to big burly guy and dainty manic pixie nightmare girl. I didn't find their interactions that interesting in canon either.

A random headcanon:

I don't have that many headcanons about him. Maybe that he likes to go drinking with Ijichi and they try to shake of the stress Gojo puts them under together.

General Opinion over said character:

He's okay. I like what he stands for and the type of teacher he is. He's very important to Yuuji and gives a very important insight into jujutsu society. His personality is just not that interesting to me. The concept of his character is good, but his general presence and dialogue don't stick with me at all.

Gojo

Sexuality Headcanon:

I'm wavering between bi or gay, not entirely sure and changes by the day. I think both would make sense for him.

Gender Headcanon:

The way the big three clans work and considering his position in jujutsu society makes me think he's a cis guy, but it could go either way really. He might just be stealth the Gojo Clan kept everything else to themselves after his birth to ensure his and their own superior status.

A ship I have with said character:

Not many. stsg generally makes sense to me, but I'm not actively shipping it or otherwise invested in it. Probably SukuGo then. I think Gojo chasing after Sukuna to desperately teach him about love is funny and it's wild that that's canon. Generally, the two are really fun in a hatesex or friends with benefits situation.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Tough because Gojo has no friends, he only hangs out with his students. joking (kind of) Honestly, I liked his bond with Riko a lot though. Unfortunately it often gets overlooked, but the two actually got along really well and Gojo was the one who interacted with her the most in HI. He made sure she would be able to live her life and have fun. Maybe he saw part of himself in her (they are very similar in their ties to Tengen and her robbing them of their youth). I also think he genuinely had fun hanging out with her and touring Okinawa.

A NOTP I have with said character:

GoYuu and I think also him and Shoko in a way....I just can't see those two being anything other than friends at best. Zero sexual tension there.

A random headcanon:

He actually has really bad vision and orients himself mostly by cursed energy signatures and Limitless. Just something I thought of when we got this panel

Besides the souls everything is blurry. Don't think this is really true and this was just to show his deeper focus on the inside of Megumi's body, but I think it would be interesting and a good balance for the otherwise insane capabilities of his six eyes. The more he uses them, the more his vision worsens.

General Opinion over said character:

Eh, it really depends (on my mood, the day, the star alignment etc.), but I don't hate him like Geto, he can just get pretty annoying and certain parts of his fanbase don't help. But otherwise he's fine.

Yuki

Sexuality Headcanon:

Bi. I want to say it's pretty even for her gender attraction-wise, but because of that catchphrase Gege gave her, which she also taught Todo, she does seem to have a heavy bias towards men. Not only her own attraction to them, which is fine, but somehow she thinks other people's attraction to her or their presumed opposite gender is important as well...worst part of her character for me. Doesn't help that she imparted that kind of thinking onto a child/teen as well.

Gender Headcanon:

She's pretty confident in her womanhood and it seems to be something that's important to her.

A ship I have with said character:

Kenjaku I think? But anything more than rivals and intellectual curiosity I like more in AUs than in canon. Them being research buddies with benefits is a fun concept to play around with. I mostly think their opposite goals and world views are very interesting and I like that Kenjaku respects her for that and values her disagreement with them. I wish this would've been more of a focus in their fight. The end of the fight is supposed to symbolize Kenjaku's vision for the future overcoming hers, but that wasn't really set up. We don't even know how Yuki intended to bring her world without cursed energy about or if she had a concrete plan at all. I would've liked to see more of that and have an actual ideological fight between the two instead of Yuki telling them how hot she thinks Choso is...

A BROTP I have with said character:

idk Kenjaku again. I think they should've settled their differences by writing a thesis about them and the one who gets the better results wins.

A NOTP I have with said character:

ChosoYuki. I don't like Choso and I think her constantly talking about Choso being her type in the fight really turned me off of the two. The way she died didn't help. She decided to sacrifice herself for Tengen after all, the thing she was originally created for and what she struggled against for decades. She is trying to protect people, see her vision for the future till the end, but we get none of that in the actual manga. Instead we jump to Choso crying about his brothers for the nth time...maybe I would like them more if they were handled differently in canon, but the way things are now I can't stand their ship.

A random headcanon:

Not really a headcanon, more a theory, but I think her research about the soul and discoveries that even after a merger or reincarnation, the other soul doesn't disappear, were made with the intention to one day free the souls of the Star Plasma Vessels trapped inside Tengen. It's also the first thing that got her into researching cursed energy more. Her grander visions for the future of jujutsu society came later and might've been about what she would do if she managed to kill or otherwise get rid of Tengen.

General Opinion over said character:

I really can't stand her catchphrase about asking someone's type or talking about her own. It's just annoying. I like her otherwise though and think she's very interesting. Gege way under-utelised her, especially in her final fight. I wish she stuck around longer and was the one who taught Yuuji more about souls. Would be very fitting because both of them were born with the intention to become the vessel of an old sorcerer. Except in Yuuji's case, his status as vessel seems to have been more intended as a stepping stone by Kenjaku, while Yuki was supposed to fully merge with Tengen. So yeah, very interesting character that could've been a lot more.

Toji

Sexuality Headcanon:

Whoever gives him money. He does seem to be genuinely attracted to women, but I think in his later years he just didn't care about sexuality anymore.

Gender Headcanon:

Cis man.

A ship I have with said character:

Shiu Kong. They definitely give me the vibe of guys who fuck each other on occasion. Shiu took care of Megumi in the past, so he might've lived with Toji for a while and helped him weather out the loss of his wife in multiple ways. Things got a bit too close at some point though and now they are a bit hesitant around each other. Shiu might've also felt slightly used by Toji and that's why he tries to keep his distance and not go out drinking with him or other more private activities. He tries to keep it professional, but doesn't always succeed.

A BROTP I have with said character:

He doesn't really have friends...the only one who counts is Shiu again.

A NOTP I have with said character:

I try to avoid most Toji ships honestly. Toji/Shiu is the only one I think is interesting and everything else is just about people being horny. Can't relate to that, so it is how it is.

A random headcanon:

It's not really about him, but I think Mrs. Fushiguro (Tsumiki's mother) is still out there, doing her own thing. She might've even visited Tsumiki a couple of times while she was in a coma. I just think it's interesting that she stuck around a bit and made sure the two kids didn't die. Even more suspiciously she conveniently disappeared right before Gojo showed up and then apparently never tried to get in contact again. For a long time I was hoping that we would find out more about her when Tsumiki wakes up because you can never trust mothers in jjk, but Gege threw Tsumiki's whole character into the bin, so that's unlikely. (Sorry this wasn't really about Toji, but this is the part of his backstory I spend the most time thinking about)

General Opinion over said character:

He's a good antagonist for his arc and for Gojo & Geto, but I otherwise don't care much about him.

[bronze-and-silver-keys]

This is Shadow Mac and Cheese anon once more. I've hit a bit of a snag when it comes to Sonia's execution. Basically everyone else was easy to plan out, but I've only got like two or three things about her and I'm struggling to mesh them together cohesively into something properly dramatic. Looking things up hasn't provided me with anything new either. I feel like relying on her being a princess would be the easiest way to go about it, but for the others I've been actively not focusing on their talents in favor of personal shortcomings. I could exploit her relationship with gundham, but I already did something similar in a different execution. Any suggestions?

Hmm that's quite the conundrum, Shadow Mac and Cheese Anon. Let me think.

Spoilers for SDR2

Looking through her wiki, there's not a whole lot in her past that you could exploit for a despairing execution.

She didn't have any friends when she was younger because of her status, so being a Hope’s Peak student was her first chance at that. Over the course of the killing game (which is the only interaction with the others she would remember in that scenario) she became most attached to Gundham and was trusted with the Devas' care after his death.

Something I point out in one of my ghost au posts that's in my drafts is that she has a reason to feel guilty/responsible for at least some part of the murders that happen from chapters 2-5:

When in the library with Hajime and Peko, she excitedly talks about her interest in serial killers, specifically Sparkling Justice. This then gives the idea to Peko of exploiting this serial killer's existence to get herself voted as the blackened and save Fuyuhiko (which ultimately fails). Even Peko just knowing about Sparkling Justice and using it in the murder plan, Sonia would feel partially responsible, even if she just wanted to share her interests with people that she wanted to be friends with.

Sonia told Hiyoko there was a mirror in the music venue that she could use to tie her kimono sash in, and this ultimately led to Hiyoko's death. A case of wrong place, wrong time that wouldn't have happened if Sonia didn't tell her about the mirror. Sonia could definitely feel like she led Hiyoko to her death.

She wouldn't exactly feel responsible for Nekomaru's death, but probably for Gundham's actions. They became even closer during chapter 4, and that friendship motivated him further to get everyone out of the funhouse, even at the cost of his own life. I think that if he wasn't as close with Sonia as he was in that chapter, he wouldn't have committed a murder. (That's my interpretation at least) She could feel like her efforts to get closer to him drove him to sacrifice Nekomaru and himself for all of them.

And finally with Nagito's death, she wasn't present the whole time, but she did know that the bombs Nagito planted were fake. This information ultimately led to Chiaki being outed as the traitor and being executed as the blackened. Maybe if she shared that the bombs were fake earlier, then Nagito and Chiaki’s deaths wouldn't have happened?

Overall, it seems her efforts to make friends with her classmates could make her feel like she was partly responsible for what happened. She just wanted to share her interests with Peko. She just wanted to help Hiyoko and provide her some comfort and independence. She just wanted to be friends with Gundham. She wanted to do her part in trying to find the bombs, but sat on information that might have stopped the deaths of two of her classmates.

Putting that into an execution is tricky.

You could go with a classic queenly execution. Beheading in front of a crowd. Burning at the stake (though that's more for a witch, maybe a traitor? She could view herself as a traitor because of everything) but Celeste already used that.

It does list in her wiki that her relationship with Gundham really strengthens after the remaining students ride the roller coaster. You could go with something that utilizes the roller coaster, the true beginning of her friendship with the person she felt closest to being the catalyst of her death. The roller coaster could get stuck in a loop, hanging her upside down and sending blood rushing to her head, which is agonizing. It does seem out of place for a princess, but it plays into her guilt.

There could be a mechanism on the roller coaster that she has to catch just in time to make it stop, but she keeps missing and missing, being forced through the track over and over, getting stuck upside down in that loop over and over again. There could be standins for everyone that died in the coaster car with her, and they fall out in the same order they died and crash to the ground every loop that happens. Byakuya and Teruteru are the first to go. By the time the second loop starts, she realizes what's happening, and tries to stop it. And fails. Mahiru and Peko fall. She tries again. Ibuki, Hiyoko, and Mikan fall. She tries again. Nekomaru and Gundham fall. She begins getting desperate and distressed with more and more blood rushing to her head, leaving her disoriented. She tries again. Nagito and Chiaki fall out. She tries one more time, about to pass out and struggling harder than before, but the car gets stuck upside down until she finally falls out and dies from the impact.

Whoa. Sonia analysis moment.

[dreamieparadise]

From school idol to dame tsuna , how popular is Momina? Talk about her school social status in the namichu hierarchy ♡

Welcome into my inbox...!

Answering this first because it's easier. Under the read more because it's long af...

☆▪︎Momina's Social Status in Namichu Hierarchy ▪︎☆

Due to Momina's friendly and bubbly persona, she is someone who is easily liked and can befriend others pretty easily as well. She's someone who can somewhat easily assimilate into groups, even if inside she is feeling very anxious, she tries her best to swallow and be a part of a community. This added to the fact she's from ~ The Americas ~ the students of Namimori Chuu become instantly interested in her, and she's readily accepted. They keep assuming she's American, though... honestly, had Namimori Chuu been a kinder school, there'd have been no real problems. However, Momina is: 1. Short tempered, 2. Has a strong sense of justice 3. Has a strong maternal instinct, so naturally seeing how folks can sometimes treat Tsuna would set her off. [Sometimes because by the time she did show up Tsuna was someone who occasionally was treated decent by his classmates. It really depended on their whims...] and whenever Momina saw that, she'd instantly get herself involved and call them out...! Much to Tsuna's [inner] protests and uncomfortability... this naturally led to some disruptions in class because while some would immediately back down, some would actually argue back [something that'd set her off even more... "You're arguing with me when you're being awful...!?"] She can actually be stern and strict at times, so this could also get her labeled as being "a nag." Like, for example... people leaving Tsuna or another classmate to do the classroom cleaning alone...? Not on her watch! She'll make sure she helps, but if she catches the runaways before their escape, she'll scold them into doing their part. Momina is not afraid to go to Hibari and the disciplinary committee...! So there's also some mutterings of her being "a snitch." Momina just rolls her eyes at that and says,"Do your freaking job then!"

So I don't see her as someone super popular, but I do see her as someone who is generally well liked. I like to think she's middle ground level popularity, maybe even below average to some with the "nag" and "snitch" allegations but she's frankly super cute and friendly so of course she'll generally have an easy time.

If I had to guess another thing that'd cause her issue it be her friendships with both Takeshi and Hayato. Momina has other scattered friend groups but there are some she orbits around more than others [Kyoko/Hana, Miruku, Tsuna/Takeshi/Hayato, and later Chrome] because she adores them especially and has lots of concern for them. [Yeah, she's a Worry Wart.] This would have been fine had that not meant that she wasn't spending time with both Takeshi and Hayato. :) it doesn't help that Hayato and Momina are often seen heading to and from school at one point, have the same lunches, and their relationship is so close? [Hayato has a tendency to rummage through her bag for food or money...] meanwhile with Takeshi their relationship seems too friendly...! Too much laughing/giggling, joking, playing and touching...! As a result, their fangirls find her to be a homewrecking scumbag...! Where does she get off being so close to them? And both of them!? Talk about being greedy...! She is clearly a pick-me girl best friend. 🙄 Momina has gotten cornered multiple times by a group of them. Honestly, Momina used to be someone who'd get into fist fights, but she's trying to do that less, so she actually just clenches her fists and angrily glares at them. This leads to a standoff because, of course, they don't want to actually risk being hurt, but it is usually broken up by someone coming along. Either the disciplinary committee [which, tbh has led to them all getting beat up], a random classmate, teacher, or one of her friends. The latter can be an issue if it's Takeshi or Hayato themselves. Hayato, especially because he gets angry and aggressive at the scene...which only worsens things in his fangirls' eyes. [Not that this matters to Momina, who is staring at Hayato with starry eyes and thanking him profusely or Hayato, who is now feeling shy and trying to hide it.]

This was super long fjjf, but yeah...! Momina is well liked enough to be treated well for the most part but has some annoying titles. Another reason I like to think she's actually well liked is how despite how she can be... she...is... well, she loves helping people...and frankly if it's her, she can be easily manipulated into doing things. Something Namimoru Chuu students have picked up on and take advantage of. "Momo-chan, can I have some money? I'll pay you back!" [Never does], "Momo-chan, can you help me?" [She does, no matter how often asked. In fact, she'll go above and beyond! Like, if she cant help you, she'll find someone who can. Unprompted.] One of her secret titles at school is "Sucker." In fact, in Fuuta's rankings, she's considered one of the biggest sucker's in Namimori... not that she's aware of this.

[scramble-crossing]

i deffo agree with your entire analysis (including the questionable canon of the anime canon) and yeah for sure the original game supports this imo. for one thing i don't think that hanekoma would have supported sho even as a back-up plan if he thought that sho would've destroyed shibuya or fundamentally ruined what HANEKOMA liked about it. hanekoma considered a shibuya under sho to be better than a shibuya erased by joshua, so whatever shibuya sho would've made couldn't have been a dumpsterfire or whatever. like not saying that sho would've kept things squeaky clean or something but hanekoma considered it 'good enough to support'. hanekoma isn't exactly the best but i think that he wouldn't have picked sho if he didn't think that sho had some attachment to shibuya.

in NEO we literally see him come back to his shibuya on W3D7 to fight soul pulvis even though he could've just fucked off. yeah we have the scene of neku "convincing" him, but the dude already came back to shibuya and decided to stay to fight for his city. he also literally warned rindo about soul pulvis and about the presence of angels (the japanese version with him talking about "hyper-real" numbers is even more obvious) back on W3D4 even before neku showed up!

the wicked twisters and all of shibuya would've lost without him and his contribution to operation: awakening. period. (along with everyone else)

he learned his lesson about teamwork! when he goes to another day, he makes a fuss about "you're joining MY team" but he actively walked up to the guy signing up team members and went "hey i need a team lol" like a student asking their teacher for help getting a partner for the group project. he's gone from "not a social animal" per megumi to "zetta dig[ing]" konishi's "style" to teaming up with the WTs to protect them to understanding the value of working together in an equation for the sake of his goals

also it's worth noting that the line about only doing it for his sake is slightly different in jp. neku says that they have to get to shiba as soon as they can and says "渋谷を守るため もし力を 貸してくれるなら――" (if you can lend us your strength to protect shibuya). sho interrupts him and says, "フン、俺は 俺の目的のために 動くだけだ" (hmph, i only work for my own goals/i do want what i want) basically, telling neku to stop telling him what to do. neku says, "それでいいよ おまえも渋谷を 狙ってただろ" (that's fine, since you're aiming for shibuya too, aren't you?) and then "その渋谷の崩���は 許せないよな" (shibuya's erase would be unforgivable, right?/you can't allow shibuya to collapse, can you?). so like yeah it's similar to what the english script did but it has a very different implication. here neku isn't convincing him to help but rather being like, "yeah, you'll only do what you want to do, and i know that you're going to do things that help shibuya because you're aiming for it as well." like i said, we literally see sho ALREADY have been offering rindo helpful advice before neku even showed up.

he gives the WTs tons of advice in the first week that have nothing to do with his interest in soul pulvis but rather to expand their powers. in field walk rpg he has a ton of random character dialogue about how he loves random shit in shibuya like the holographic hachiko statue (tokyu plaza) because he thinks that dogs are stylin' or how he thinks that rhythms that shake the heart (specific to him being interested in picking up music records from tower records) are as beautiful as a flawless equation or whatever. why would he want to destroy all of that? he wouldn't

he doesn't even care if other people cart away his artworks! he didn't seethe about that in the og, just made more and then walked away

i agree with him being obsessed with beauty and art and probably shibuya's. i mean the guy wanders around the phone booth of love at molco and shit trying to pick up cool pieces for his next artwork (and leaving something precious of his own in its wake, suggesting that he isn't interested in stealing shit, he just has a unique value system of exchanging items and art and stuff), makes people play Tin Pin Slammer and doesn't even participate himself but just hangs out in the crowd watching and seethes when joshua cheats him out of an interesting match, and possibly even stuck negative noise on ken doi to catch their attention about ramen given that the negative noise in W1 was all mission-related that a reaper must've put on someone (and with their relationship in another day). he's not a "good person" but people treating him like he's evil or sadistic or whatever just pisses me off. he's an arrogant asshole who, as far as we can read from the text, genuinely wants to see a shibuya full of cool art projects and sick murals like the udagawa one he likes and cool people like the WTs with their interesting UG powers and stuff.

ok thanks for listening to my essay. 3.1415926

Hey there.....it's been a couple months and I live in shame

Thank you so so much for this I absolutely LOVE your thoughts! I wanna try to respond them in as organized a way I can so I'm gonna address each point individually and in chronological order.

First of all, I 100% agree with what you've said about Hanekoma. If he wasn't able to directly remove Joshua from power even when he threatened Shibuya's very existence, and instead had to approach him in an extremely tedious and roundabout manner by guiding Neku when he could and using Sho as a sort of half-proxy, there's no way he would've shoved a dangerous or otherwise incompetent person into the Composer's seat and forced himself to repeat this whole process weeks later once Sho had a grip on Shibuya. Like you said, "hanekoma considered a shibuya under sho to be better than a shibuya erased by joshua," and that means something coming from a person who belongs to a class of beings who willingly "purify" cities that do not live up to their standards. It's not impossible to think that if Hanekoma thought Sho unfit and saw no other alternative, he would've come to see Shibuya as a lost cause and let it fall, preferring a dignified end over allowing it to rot and fester as a shell of its former self. Granted, he doesn't exactly sing Sho's praises. He certainly seems to view him as being convenient over an actual good candidate for the position. However, regardless of the fact that Hanekoma's criteria seems to be "the biggest, most unlikable freak in the UG," I think my previous point still stands. Would Sho have been a good Composer? Impossible to know for sure, but if nothing else we can extrapolate from what we understand of Hanekoma's values that he would've at the very least safeguarded Shibuya against erasure and kept it intact enough to still be worthy of existence in the eyes of some very, very picky Angels. And this is saying something when Joshua refers to Shibuya as being a massive influence on the world around it, so much so that he fears it corrupting other sectors of the UG. To put it simply, maybe Sho just passed the bar when it came to Hanekoma's standards, but that bar was set extremely high. Also! Just in case anyone mentions it, while Hanekoma saying that he relied on Sho's attachment to Shibuya is exclusive to the anime, technically speaking it's canonical that NEO is a sequel to the anime rather than the game. It's still very much relevant to Sho's character in NEO, if not his character in the original game...

Which leads right into your next points! Just for a moment, I want to jump to what you said about the japanese version of the game because I find it extremely interesting. That's SUCH a different implication from what we get in the english version!! Whereas we're given more of a sense that Neku is corralling Sho into working with him and the rest of the Wicked Twisters on the basis that he can't be Composer without a city to rule, basically using his preexisting goal to try to get him to adopt a new one, that of saving Shibuya, here he's saying that he knows that Sho already has a goal of saving Shibuya. It's less "Look here asshole, you have to save Shibuya because you can't be Composer without it," and more "You and I both know that you want to save Shibuya, so stop being so stubborn and help us out already!" Yes it's subtle, but personally I think it lines up better with the version of Sho that's put forward by the anime's ending, and, perhaps more importantly, lends better to interpretations of Sho's motivations In english, it reads closer to "Sho wants to be the Composer -> therefore he must save Shibuya. In japanese, it can more easily be read as "Sho wants to save Shibuya -> Ergo, he clearly cares about Shibuya -> Sho wants to be the Composer because he cares about Shibuya. Again, it's minor stuff, but the japanese version, I feel, more obviously connects his motives with his actions, presenting him helping to save Shibuya as a natural result of his affection for the city instead of it being an obstacle in his way or a diversion from his ambitions. It's really a shame that this nuance is lost in the english version. Sho is already kind of a mess in the fact that it can be difficult to discern what the writers are trying to do with him. He's built up as a persistent and deadly threat all throughout twewy only to be unceremoniously killed off in a scene that feels more like a bit than an actual serious story beat. Neo's promotional material paraded him as a core character in the protagonist's group, and yet he ends up being booted out 1/3 of the way into the story and made unplayable until post-game. He is one of the most integral characters to the plot, and yet what, in the end, does he have to show for it? Nothing! He leaves the secret ending having returned to the exact same position he was in at the start of the first game, at the exact same level of power, still gunning to take on the Composer. It feels like he's being used as sequel-bait in a series where it took 14 years to make another game, not to mention the fact that the last time something interesting was implied to be happening to him, A.K.A A New Day where he was positioned to become Neku's partner, that plot thread was dropped hard and absolutely nothing came of it. I'm not saying he's been completely abandoned by the narrative. He's definitely shown to have improved as a person since the events of the first game, and I love that! I love his cryptic mentor/moderately shit big brother arc and the fact that Neku, Mr. Twewy himself, is willing to put his faith in him. But to me at least it feels like he's being underutilized, especially in comparison to characters like Beat, who I love, but who certainly didn't need as much as he got in neo given that he had a totally satisfactory arc by the end of the first twewy. Sho is perfect for a redemption arc that's reminiscent of Neku's while still being unique and complex, one that would fit seamlessly with twewy's themes of growth and the necessity of human connection. If we ever get another twewy game and this is exactly what happens I will kiss neo on the lips for being the PERFECT in-between phase and kick-off for this arc, but I mean...it's twewy. Waiting for another game to complete his storyline is like pushing Sho off a cliff with nothing to catch him but a prayer and the world's shittiest little kiddy pool. Also the hose that's trying to fill it with water is clogged by a giant knot in the shape of mickey mouse ears.

But I've gotten sidetracked. Mostly because it's been so long that I totally forget the post that spurred this ask in the first place. I might be stupid. But honestly I think you've already put it perfectly. I'm especially grateful for the info on the field walk rpg because it's something I know very little about. I'm glad Sho got to have a fun day out with his child soldiers/teenage besties :] Overall, it's absolutely true that Sho is a very morally complex character. I tend to dislike labels like "good person" vs "bad person" because it leaves little room for nuance, something that this series is chock-block full of. The idea that Sho is an utterly selfish and sadistic individual who can never truly change irks me because it's so antithetical to the messages of this series, "Anyone can change for the better," and, "By letting others in, approaching their different worldviews and values with genuine, good faith, and by extending compassion towards each other, we make the world a better place for both ourselves and the people around us." Sho is doing this. It may be with baby steps, but it's clear from his interactions with the Wicked Twisters, as well as his enthusiasm for art that is not his own whereas before he expressed disdain for any artistic vision that wasn't his, that he is making an effort to be better and allowing these experiences to change his worldview. If he is never extended the same narrative reward that other characters are shown for this exact same kind of growth, if he is instead trapped in this cycle of scratching and clawing and desperately yearning for some sense of divinity only to crash fantastically, met with violence and isolation and the loss of the few, good things he's managed to scrape out of life...well that'd be pretty miserable, I think.

[ambarthecancer]

Notes on being 30

I’m turning 31 in a week, I’m excited, I love my birthday and I love growth and change. Before my birthday I like to reflect about the year I’m leaving behind in hopes of entering the new year with perspective. It has been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least,a lot of good came in too and I’m learning from my mistakes, recovering from the pain and grateful for everything else.

Here are some thoughts, notes and humble advice on being 30:

I often tell my younger friends “make sure you get to your 30s with savings if you can”. I give this advice not in a “finance bro” type of way but in a “have money that can buy you some freedom” type of way. Freedom can be getting psychological/psychiatric help, a solo trip abroad, swimming classes, a year off work, whatever freedom is to you, save for it.

In my case, I landed here with no money, but since the universe works in perfect mysterious ways, I got fired from work and with the severance money, I bought myself 3 months off. I paid my credit card, I paid my student loan 3 months in advance, I started going both to the therapist and the psychiatrist to get the help I so desperately needed. It was the biggest blessing since I’ve been burnt out from work and life since summer 2022 and allowing myself time off without worrying about my live-hood was just exactly what I needed.

“Your new life will cost you your old one”

On a karmic level, your past comes creeping at you, all the lessons get back to check if you finally learned. I repeated a lesson from a decade ago. This time it took me less time to remove myself from the equation, even though it was even more heartbreaking than the first time. I learned my lesson the hardest way possible, it cost me blood and tears, but I did and for that I’m grateful. Life keeps showing us the same lessons until we learn, and it is important we do so or else we suffer.

On a lighter note, personally I feel very authentic at 30, I carry myself and all my past versions with honor and respect. Almost everyday I think teenage me would absolutely adore me, I’ve become the woman 12-17 years old me wanted to be. The greatest gift is that I like myself a lot, I like my own company, my sense of humor, my integrity, I like myself and the woman I’m constantly becoming plus I feel way cooler and more interesting than I did at 20.

I still have many fears but they are different now, I'm in less of a rush with everything, I started enjoying things more. I kind of understand why my mom made me say hi to people that met me as a baby. Life is about little moments, sharing with others and acts of kindness.

5 years ago I also realized something that has helped me navigate life and my 30s since: the most interesting thing about people isn't their job, their socioeconomic status, the money in their bank account, but the person they are and how genuine and kind they are. So I focus on that on being a better version of me.

Life is a journey to self and awareness, carry yourself with grace, be kind and fair, I wont say nice, but fair, because nice doesn’t really get you anywhere.

Anyhow, I’m alive so my life is in constant progress until the day I die. I'm not fully healed, I’m not fully aware, I’m not fully there, I’m just living. I have insecurities issues, self worth issues, I hold grudges, I’m bitchy and mean, I say hurtful things, I’m not a guru or guide of anything, I’m just a girl a few years older that wanted to share all of this.

30 is not an ending, it is a beginning and it is actually the right time to start over. Do not be afraid. Welcome life and every year on this beautiful earth with grace and try your hardest to find some joy in all of the small things.

[cadybear420]

Some people have different takes. Not on everything. But on some. So some of what you may deem as “problematic” may not be problematic to someone else. Or the way you interpret something may not have be the same experience for someone else. It’s like with QB: some people deemed Ian/Ina and MCs relationship problematic. Others didn’t. I played TCH and I in no way felt like Kieran “abused” MC at all and know others who don’t feel that way either. If people made certain choices that made their playthrough different, that was their experience. In my playthrough and experience, that didn’t happen. You can’t tell people they’re ignoring something problematic just because you feel that it is. And that’s where a lot of the issues arise here is when people try to force their opinion and line of thinking on others, and it happens on both sides. Again, everyone experiences and interprets things differently, especially when it comes to fictional stories and their characters.

Some people have different takes. Not on everything. But on some. So some of what you may deem as “problematic” may not be problematic to someone else. Or the way you interpret something may not have be the same experience for someone else.

True, but here's the thing. As I said in my previous post, people are entitled to their opinions. I am a firm believer in having different opinions and interpretations of media.

For example, some people see Ajay from HSS:CA as an irredeemable, rude, and unsympathetic character. Others (myself included) see him as a character who is fleshed out, has demonstrated character growth, and is kind of a victim of lazy writing. I don't agree at all with the people who see him in a negative light, but that's their opinion and experience. Even though I think he's "objectively" an okay person as a character, I can understand why many others would dislike him.

But there also comes a point where you go from just having a different opinion or experience to just straight up getting stuff wrong. For example...

It’s like with QB: some people deemed Ian/Ina and MCs relationship problematic. Others didn’t.

It's a student-teacher relationship. I'd say that still counts as objectively problematic. Even though there may not have been any outwardly predatory behaviors or abuse with it, it's still problematic to a degree because of the inherent status and power imbalance that comes with it.

If MC and Kingsley's relationship were a real life situation? If they were a real life student-professor relationship? It would be 100% problematic and would not fly at all. Anyone who tried defending it would get (rightfully) derided.

But as we all know, MC and Kingsley are fictional characters. We can enjoy such a relationship in fiction because, well, they're all clumps of pixels and no real people are directly getting harmed. It's a silly fictional fantasy.

But regardless of whether or not we enjoy the fantasy, we can understand that such a relationship would be completely inappropriate IRL.

I played TCH and I in no way felt like Kieran “abused” MC at all and know others who don’t feel that way either. If people made certain choices that made their playthrough different, that was their experience. In my playthrough and experience, that didn’t happen.

To be fair, the physical abuse scene is a determinant scene. It only happens in one premium scene in Chapter 2, and only if you choose an option that is marked as being more "kinky". In that scene, Kieran basically shoves MC's face onto the ground. I myself did not take that diamond scene, but I do know of its existence, so that's why I bring it up.

Needless to say, we all know it's not okay IRL. Physical abuse from a supposed love interest is objectively problematic. Some of us may not mind it so much in a fictional story, but we all know if it were an IRL relationship, it would be 100% not okay whatsoever.

And even if we pretend that the physical abuse aspect doesn't happen at all in the story no matter what (since it is a determinant scene)... Kieran still kidnaps and enslaves the MC- this is a set part of the story that is not determinant. And needless to say, this is also something that is an objectively abusive behavior that wouldn't be okay at all IRL.

Some may personally not have a problem with Kieran's behaviors themselves, or even personally enjoy it (fictional darkfic fantasy after all), and that's okay! That's their personal opinion and experience. But no one in their right mind would be saying that Kieran's behaviors are okay or unproblematic.

And that's not even getting into PB's piss-poor handling of how they incorporated these themes into the story, what with their poor content warnings. Stuff like kidnapping and physical abuse can be outright triggering for many players. I myself may not have felt uncomfortable with it, but many other players might. Usually because abuse and kidnapping are things that can happen in real life and would have real harmful consequences on those who experience it- hence why it's objectively problematic behavior.

And once again, keep in mind that I'm saying all of this as someone who did enjoy TCH. I liked the story, but I know that Kieran's behavior is objectively problematic and would not be okay IRL.

You can’t tell people they’re ignoring something problematic just because you feel that it is. And that’s where a lot of the issues arise here is when people try to force their opinion and line of thinking on others, and it happens on both sides. Again, everyone experiences and interprets things differently, especially when it comes to fictional stories and their characters.

Except this isn't a matter of "me" thinking the behaviors are problematic, or anyone "thinking" the behaviors are problematic. A lot of the behaviors portrayed from LIs like Kieran, Reagan, Bastien, etc. are objectively problematic.

Kieran did kidnap the MC. Bastien did kidnap the MC. Reagan did text MC BSDM-charged messages barely an hour after their first meeting. All of these are things that did happen and all of them are objectively problematic behaviors.

And if you still enjoy these LIs? If you enjoy reading about their toxic behaviors? Guess what? That's okay! And you shouldn't have to push these stories as unproblematic just to justify your enjoyment of them. Just go ahead and enjoy them. I don't care. It's your taste. As long as we understand that a lot of their behaviors are objectively problematic and that PB handles it horribly.

[linalilia]

[meet the prisoners!] prisoner 001: miyagawa akio

oh god we're really doing this.

so yeah, remember when i said that i actually have milgram ocs? i'll start posting them now!

here's our first prisoner! his design looks a bit boring, i know, but i think it fits him well! sorry for making him look like mikoto's long lost brother i wanted him to have that "basic anime protag" vibe, if you know what i mean. though his personality is not like that at all, haha. also i'm sorry if the symbols on his prisoner uniform look weird, i'm still trying to figure out how to make them look good and i can't see them that well even though i use references 😔

also, some notes: this story happens before the events of canon milgram project + novel (yes, i know the plot of the novel but i'm not sure where to read it in english, i'm sorry!), so es isn't the guard yet. this time milgram prison has not one, but TWO guards and both of them are polar opposites of each other. one of them wants to vote everyone innocent and believes that they're actually good people, but the other one thinks all prisoners should be voted guilty and all of them deserve to die for their sins.

this time the prisoners are much less sympathetic than the canon ones because if the canon prisoners are kind of "morally gray".. well, maybe these guys' cute designs will be enough to make people vote them innocent :') i will write their mv descriptions, voice dramas and interrogations as well, though honestly, i feel like i actually could try writing songs for them because i like composing and writing lyrics.. but i'm too lazy for that right now djsjsksk.

also almost forgot to mention, don't take their mv descriptions too seriously (or do take them seriously. i'm not your mom), like, for example, if i mention a character being treated badly by someone in the mv, it doesn't necessarily mean that this thing actually happened. it doesn't mean that my characters are able to lie through their mvs, it's more about how they personally saw their crimes. and considering that a lot of my ocs are very dramatic and they believe that they've done nothing wrong.. yeah, trusting their every word is not a good idea.

and if you guys find my ocs interesting, maybe i'll actually do polls where you can vote them innocent or guilty! and if not, that's okay, i already have canon verdicts for them in mind, so :'D it would be fun to see people choosing something completely different from what i expected though

anyway, you can read this boy's profile under the cut!

General info:

Name: Miyagawa Akio (宮川 昭雄) (kanjis in his last name stand for "temple, shrine, palace" and "river" and kanjis in his first name mean "bright" and "hero")

Age: 16 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Prisoner 001

Birthday: September 4 (Virgo)

Height: 166 cm

Blood type: A

Image Color: #D5C7E5

Occupation: High school student (first year)

Personality: Akio is a very prideful and arrogant boy who has an extremely high self-esteem. He believes he's innocent and refuses to admit that he really did something bad. Whenever his crime is mentioned, he claims that it wasn't his fault and his victim deserved it anyway. However, he's actually very smart and it's easy for him to fool people and make them believe that he really is a good guy. He claims that he was the best student in his class and he's been getting perfect grades since elementary school. He says that he never had any rivals because he was so perfect, however, it doesn't look like he had any friends either. He also doesn't believe that Milgram is an actual prison and thinks that it's all just for show and even if it's real, he's sure that he will never get executed or anything like that.

MV info:

Which canon Milgram song he would cover: It's Not My Fault

Which DECO*27 song he would cover: Reversible Campaign (i wish i could say that i have a deep reason for giving him this song, but.. i don't have one actually! i just like this song a lot and it's very special to me because if i'm not wrong, it's the first deco*27 song i ever listened to (or at least i have many good memories associated with it) so i thought that it would be a good idea to give it to the first prisoner!)

If he could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: Abnormality Dancin' Girl by Guchiry (i do have a reason this time, but i think you'll be able to figure it out yourself :))

His MV description: His MV would have this royal theme/aesthetic, similar to Muu's INMF MV with its whole queen bee thing, however, his video would still feel and look completely different. His MV would mostly have dark/dull colors.. until one specific scene.

His video starts with a crowd of people sitting in a room that looks like some kind of a concert hall and even though it looks beautiful and detailed, it's mostly gray and black. All people look like black silhouettes and don't have any defining features, however, judging from their poses, you can tell that they feel awkward or even anxious. And then, suddenly, Akio appears on the stage while dressed like a king. Even though he's supposed to look unique compared to the silhouettes, his colors are still just as dull as the room's. He smiles and starts singing and while he does so, he appears not just as a king, but as other important figures, for example, a movie star, a popular singer, a president and even a god. The lyrics mention Akio being the only person here who's actually interesting, unique, skilled and talented. The silhouettes follow him around all the time and you can actually see them having bright green eyes, but they show them only when Akio does something cool, for example, defeats an enemy, executes a criminal, etc. Everything goes well until Akio notices that the colors of the MV start becoming brighter and he sees that the silhouettes are not really interested in him anymore and they're following a very bright figure that looks like it's literally made out of light. He starts getting more and more nervous as he sees his loyal followers leaving him. There's a shot of him standing with a glass case full of all kinds of prizes and trophies in the background and the glass suddenly breaks right when he sees that figure again. The glass hurts Akio in the process and one of the silhouettes notices it and decides to check if he's okay. Akio sees that this silhouette's eyes are different and they're not green, but pink instead. He smiles and the MV ends with the "more popular student" being executed by Akio, who got his crown back and right when Akio looks at the pink-eyed silhouette and nods, the colors turn dark again and the lights go off.

His Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"My name is Miyagawa Akio. You two.. You two are not much older than me, right? So why the hell do you even have a right to judge us for our crimes? Honestly, I'm the one who deserves this right more than anyone else here."

"He really doesn't know his place, does he? So annoying.. Hey, can you help me out with something? Come on, I know you like me."

Trivia.

He sees himself as innocent and hopes to get a verdict like that as well.

He didn't commit any other crimes except murder and he claims that he had only one victim.

He's secretly embarrassed of his height and wants to grow taller.

He's very proud of being popular with both guys and girls from his school.

He's not really close with any prisoners except Prisoner 009, who's only one year older than him and was quite a popular student as well. Prisoner 002 wants to become friends with him too, but he keeps ignoring her and finds her annoying.

You can think of him as Haruka's "foil" or simply his opposite because of them both being the first prisoners, but having completely different personalities. Haruka constantly apologizes, believes that he brings misfortune to other people and he's not the smartest guy here, meanwhile Akio really was the best student in his class, he never apologizes and takes his words back and he believes that he's better than everyone else. They're also almost the same age, though Akio is one year younger than Haruka.

Even though Akio and Muu's videos (we're talking about the second one) have a similar theme, they feel very different. No matter how much Muu claims that everything is not her fault, she still appears as a monster in her MV and she constantly says how pitiable she is (i am NOT going with the official eng translation) and even if she's a "bad girl", she still asks to forgive her. Akio doesn't feel like that at all and he really does believe that he's innocent and he also doesn't see himself as a monster or any other scary creature, HE LITERALLY SEES HIMSELF AS A GOD. He never asks to forgive him because he thinks that people will do it even if he doesn't ask.

His crime is pretty easy to solve compared to the other prisoners. I wanted to make it more complicated at first, but then I thought that it makes sense for a first prisoner to have a crime that's not as mysterious or difficult to solve as other characters' murders.

[pdaliceliveblogs]

So that was a damn lie.

ANYWAY

Everything is in place for the final stretch now. Most of the Boiling Isles are out of commission. Lilith, Eda, and King have been quietly surviving and planning. Belos has squirmed his way into Raine’s body and making trouble. The kids plus Camila are in the Skull, right below the Collector’s palace.

And the Collector is about to throw one hell of a tantrum.

So much of this episode was very… Lord of the Flies. Kids without supervision, I mean, but then also with bad supervision. At Hexside, the sole present adult (though she was shamming as a student) manipulated her way into being the power behind the throne, using Boscha’s preexisting selfishness and violence and encouraging the worst in her, playing on her genuine fear and grief for her puppeteered teammates, helping her be her worst self. The rest of the kids, though, for the most part were just trying to survive. Fucking around selling tee shirts, making a damn statue of their principal. They’re not competent, they’re kids, but they’re trying. I liked that Matt got to step up while remaining an absolute dweeb. He can be both a decent leader and a dorkass who draws stubble on with a marker (to be more like his missing big brother).

Meanwhile, the Collector… the only adult they’ve had around for hundreds of years is Belos, who never really treated them like a child, but like a resource. On their own, now— or even with Odalia around, because she isn’t interested in being a guardian either— they’re off the rails. Like the kids at Hexside, like Boscha, he’s flailing, trying to be a kid, trying to have a good time, but because of how powerful he is he’s doing a lot more damage than Boscha just being a shitty student council president.

He’s caused real, lasting harm. He didn’t mean to. He still did. Both of these things are true. I love him. That’s very true.

I’m sad that we had that moment of “perfectly eavesdropping on just the bit that will make things sound bad”; that’s a kind of contrived coincidence that annoys me. They were really tight on time, I know, but sigh. It’s not enough to override how good the rest of the episode is, but sigh.

I’m terrified for Raine. I know several times now we’ve expected them to come out of something hideously scarred and traumatized and they’ve sidestepped, but I feel like their narrative luck is running out. I don’t think the show would kill them off (KNOCK WOOD) but I do think they’re not coming out of this unscathed.

Trivial things— I still love the idea of Lily and Eda sharing an arm, tossing it back and forth when somebody needs two hands for something. I’m sad about their hair getting cut off, but at least in Eda’s case it makes sense; I was brushing out my hair like a day after watching the ep and noticed how much I was using both hands and was like “…oh”.

Stringbean is precious and I adore her. Alador is still unaccounted for, and the concept art that showed Kiki wearing his goggles makes me very worried for him. Steve is also missing, and if he gets to actually hang out with his little bro on camera I will be so happy. I need, need the Coven Heads to wake up. Especially Darius. Yeah, I know, I’m predictable, but goop man really grew on me and I want to see him complain about the playskool-ass outfit the Collector put him in.

I am overly amused by the idea of Eda seeing Raine up and about, tackle-hugging and kissing them, and Belos just YEETING himself out of their body like EEW WITCH TONGUE

Camila is going to be vital. I do think she’s going to be the one to really get through to the Collector. Old-school Trekker and the star child.

I’d love to see the kids reunite with their parents, I’d love to see Hunter get to attend Hexside, I’d love to see Raine and Eda actually talk about things, any and all Lilith Presence we get will delight me.

I’m a little terrified that it’s going to be over so soon.

It’s gonna be great, though.

[scorching-earth]

the only thing that gave me interest. pt.2

Buddy’s eyes fluttered open. She one hundred percent expected to be on the cold hard floor of the room her mother put her in. yet the moment she woke up the ceiling was wood. “So it wasn't a dream…” Buddy said, she started to sit up slowly. Looking over at the walkie talkie Buddy grabbed it. ‘This will let me talk to Yuu.’ Buddy put the device to the side of her face. Pressing the button Buddy inhaled. 

Yuu’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Ace. “say that again.” Yuu asked with a very pissed expression. “I said you're a sucker, magicless, and a janitor! Your life must suck and now you're taking care of the dead weight student. who mined you isn't in any dorm since they never had the mirror look at them. Like what do you even bother at this point.” Ace said nonchalantly. Grim the cat who had made a ruckus not only in the Ramshackle Dorm but also at the entrance ceremony was now staining beside Yuu. “I’ll give you one more chance to take back what you said bastard. You can insult me all you want but you're not allowed to insult my patient.” Yuu said, taking a few steps towards Ace, Yuu towered over Ace. Yuu’s hands were in his pockets. “What do you mean, oh you mean the person who was in that crappy coffin. You know, I heard a rumor that the coffins you arrive in represent your personality. That must mean they have a shitty personality, just like the fur ball over there.” Ace said with a smug look on his face. Yuu had enough, he gave that asshole enough chances. Winding up a punch, Yuu was ready to rip this Ace a new one. That was until the walkie talkie alerted him to Buddy trying to talk with him. Yuu immediately changed his stance looking away from Ace Yuu took the walkie talkie from his pocket. 

“Meah how dare you insult me like that, that coffin wouldn't even touch my magnificence.” Grim said mad, Yuu ignored the insult all for the sake of Buddy. Putting the device to his ear he pressed the receiver button. “Yuu?” Buddy’s voice was a lot more static, and she sounded tired. Yuu was relieved though. “Buddy hay! Are you ok?” Yuu asked, worried. “You're real… I’m still here in this dream… it’s so good to hear you.” Buddy said with a sob. “Hey, it’s ok I’m helping you ok? Has Crowley come by?” Yuu asked. “Yah just before I started talking to you. He came in with paperwork. I've deduced that the money here has the same monetary value as yen. While I don’t use yen very much, I can still make plans for the school. Budgeting may be an issue since I don't know what half of these classes are” Buddy said in a slightly strained voice. “Oh that's good, is there anything else you need? Are you in good health?” Yuu asked. “Yah, I think I’ll be just fine… well uh talk to you soon?” Buddy said it was reassuring to hear from her. “Yah I have something to deal with as well… bye.” Yuu bid adieu. Yuu turned off the walkie talkie. Yuu turned to meet Ace’s face only for Ace to look horrified. “Bastard. You’ll pay for what you said.” Yuu said, grabbing Ace by his collar. “Yuu!” Crowley raced towards the teen and pulled Yuu off Ace. “What is wrong with you Yuu?!” Crowley asked in a very frustrated tone. “That bastard insulted Buddy!” Yuu yelled. “Who- who are you talking about?” Ace asked. “That “dead weight” is Buddy.” Yuu said, kicking towards Ace. “Yuu calm down, you're letting anger get the better of you.” Crowley said. Ace was relieved that Crowley was holding Yuu, because Ace would never forget the Expression Yuu gave him. Pure unfiltered rage, talking to this Buddy person made Yuu even more mad at Ace.

Crowley was told by a student about what happened. Yuu nearly punched Ace that was until Buddy called him. The problem was Grim then took over and tried to burn Ace. Ace had used his wind magic to redirect the fire. Unfortunately Ace burned the statue of the Queen of hearts. Crowley had just about enough. “All three of you will clean a hundred widows. Yuu you threatened one of the students, Grim you attacked one of the students, Ace you destroyed school property. These grave offenses will be absolved once you three clean the windows.” Crowley said letting go of Yuu, who had by now calmed down. “... you're not off the hook.” Yuu said, giving Ace a side eye. That side eye gave Ace chills. 

Buddy sighed as Crowley left. Buddy looked out the window. She fell out of her bed, Scrambling to the window Buddy’s eyes widened. “The sky is clear. Just like dad said.” Buddy spoke out loud. “Shouldn't you be resting?” someone asked Buddy. Buddy turned to meet the other person’s gaze. “Ah! Um, who are you?” Buddy asked. “Ah, where are my manners? I’m Cater Diamond.” Cater said. “Un Buddy. I’m Buddy.” Buddy said, rubbing the behind her head. “You should probably lay back down. you can look out the window all you want when you get better dear.” Cater said with a wink. “Oh uh… yah. I still have a bit more work to do.” Buddy said, pulling the covers on her legs. “Soooo… Whatcha doing?” Cater asked. “Ah! You haven't left?” Buddy asked. “Should I have?” Cater asked. “Probably, besides all I’m doing is accounting.” Buddy replyed "really the first day is for first years to understand the school. So to a third year like me can just do as I please." Cater explained. "Ah I see, unfortunately I don't know if I can go to this school. I don't remember having any level of magic before so I'll probably stay as the school's accountant for a bit." Buddy explained. A nod of silence passed before it was broken. "Ah so um you think your like that Yuu guy?" Cater asked. "Most likely, but I don't even want to go back. The sky is clear and the grass is green. It's even more beautiful then my father told me." Buddy said. "So uh do you have any other skills?" Cater asked, whatever Buddy was saying it probably had some sort of meaning behind it. Some sort of depressing meaning. "Oh I'm pretty good at tarot reading. If you want I can do a reading for you." Buddy said taking two deacks of cards out of there bag.

Buddy shuffled the cards together. "Now I need you to shuffle the cards. These cost me a fortune so please be careful with them." Buddy said handing over the cards. "Oh uh… why do I have to shuffle them though didn't you just shuffle them?" Cater asked. "I'm doing a reading for you. Call it personal touch you can even shuffle the cards you want to see. It's all your choice." Buddy said with a soft smile. "Ah ok I understand now." Cater said. He decided to do a flashy shuffle one that let him show off this skills. "Impressive. Ok now I need you to set the deck down and set one card above three others. Make sure there face down don't want to ruin any surprise." Buddy said instructing Cater on where to put the cards. "Like this? Cater asked. "Exactly like that. Ok I'll flip the one above the three cards here. This card represents you." Buddy said flipping the top card to reveal the four of pentacles. "Well this is an interesting card to pull." Buddy looked up to see Cater's expression. "Hm do you know anything about tarot cards?" Asked Buddy. Cater just looked away. "Playing cards are based off these cards you know." Buddy said placing a finger on the four of pentacles. "This card is the four of diamonds." Buddy said catching Cater's surprise. "If I'm reading this right you highly connected to the playing card the four of diamonds. This card represents financial security. Your family works in money." Buddy said as Cater's expression became that of bewilderment. "How did you know all that?" Cater asked. "The card told me." Buddy said like it was a fact. "I'm getting kind of nervous. So what exactly are the other cards meant to be?" Cater asked. Buddy flipped the first of the four cards. "The fool represents the beginning of something this is your past. Since school has just started up again your probably a bit stressed. I totally understand if you need to take time off, and relax since your now a third year people will probably look to your guidance. that's probably going to be a new feeling for you to deal with." Buddy said with pinpoint accuracy. "Ok you have to be doing something. There is no way you would know that." Cater said nervous.

"All I'm doing is reading the card. It tells me everything I need to know." Buddy said. Flipping over the next card. Buddy's expression dropped seeing it. The tower. "... This is your present what's going on now. Your going through a lot of turmoil and your views are being challenged. Something is destroying your life so to speak, or is it someone." Buddy asked. Cater's expression wasn't a happy one. "Someone is making a mess of what you believe in. There destroying what you worked so hard to build." Buddy finished, Buddy's hand hovered over the last card. "Hay before you flip the last card over tell me what spell your using." Cater asked. His expression was dead serious. Looking at Cater Buddy smiled. "I'll tell you after these events transpire, ok?" Buddy said flipping over the last card. The Knight of cups. "There's no need to worry. Someone will help you, so to speak a white knight will come and save you. Whoever is destroying your life will be stoped by maybe a close friend." Buddy said with a smile. "... Your telling me that I'm going need to be saved #lame." Cater said with a sigh. Buddy looked shocked at the use of hashtags. "Well if you don't like it change it. These aren't set in stone and you can always take charge if you don't want to be saved." Buddy said leaning back in the nurse bed. "I really do what to know what spell you used." Cater asked. 

"It's just outsider perspective. All I did was read the cards and tell you what they told me." Buddy said taking the cards form the reading and put them away. "I'll figure out what spell you used. When I find it I'll do a reading for you." Cater said. "Sure thing. I'll be waiting till then." Buddy said as Cater left the room. "he'll probably forget about this. Everyone dose." Buddy said taking a cigarette form the pack in her bag. She put one in her mouth, and lit it. "... All I did was look at the card and then look how you reacted. That Diamond on your face didn't help either. It's like you never even thought that I wasn't using magic." Buddy said with a sigh. Throwing the rest of the pack back in the bag. Exhaling Buddy looked out the window once more. "It really is beautiful." Buddy mudders. As minutes passed and Buddy fished work quickly. Having used the cigarette up Buddy panicked for a second on where to snuff it out. using the underside of the side table then dropping it behind the bed she felt a lot better after the smoke. Yet now she was left with nothing to do. Leaning back Buddy looked at the walkie talkie. Pressing the button on the device she waited, Nothing no pick up. Buddy wanted to cry Yuu had been so nice to her why wouldn't he pick up now? 

After several failed attempts at trying to call Yuu. Buddy was about to reach for another cigarette, but was interrupted by Crowley. "I've come to pick up the paperwork you filled out." Crowley said. "Uh um right here." Buddy headed over the small stack of papers over to Crowley. Crowley looked at the papers for a moment before looking back at Buddy. "These are very detailed. I'm shocked how much you were able to get done in such a short time." Crowley said. "I'm smart that's all." Buddy said bluntly. "Well you rest up now. We can't have your wounds getting worse." Crowley said. "Yuu wouldn't pick up my calls. Do you know why?" Buddy asked. Crowley's face became grim. "No he should have had it on at all times since he's just doing some janitorial work. I'll go check it out." Crowley said. "Please do I'm going to get some sleep now ok?" Buddy said, pulling the covers over her body. 

Crowley quickly walked out of the infirmary. Even though Yuu probably fished cleaning the windows but checking the cafeteria would be a good place to start. In Front of the doors to the cafeteria Crowley heard something "If the head mage finds out." Crowley quickly opened the doors to the cafeteria. "If I found out what?" Crowley said. The three students look like they have just been caught red handed. But Crowley was more concerned about the now broken Chandler. "What did you three do!" Crowley yelled. "Uh I'm so sorry headmage I'll pay for the damage." One deuce spade said. "With what money it took a billion madol to make it and it will take just as much to fix it!" Crowley said. "All four of you will be expelled!" The headmaster yelled. "Uh but I'm not a-" Yuu was cut off. "Quite Yuu did I not say that those walkie talkies were given so that Buddy could contact you whenever they needed something! Yet for some reason every time they tried to contact you, but you never picked up." Crowley said his hands on his hips. Yuu looked down in shame. “I… have no excuses. I turned it off so it wouldn't bother me.” Yuu said, biting his lip. “I’m sorely disappointed in you.” Crowley said his eyebrows furrowed. “Well. I’ll have to expel… you two your Ace Trapola. You with the dark hair. State your name.”Crowley demanded. The boy with dark hair looked down. “Deuce spade.” Deuce said. Crowley thought for a moment. “I will expel you both Yuu. while your services to the school have helped one of our students. I will have you leave the premises. you are no longer in employment.” Crowley said in a serious voice. Yuu fell to his knees. “God dammit... Crowley, plese, I’m begging you. Tell me how I can stay.” Yuu said his head to the floor. Ace, Deuce, and Grim looked shocked as Yuu was prostrated at Crowley’s feet. “Ah! What- what are you doing Yuu!” Crowley said, taking a step back. “Please I’ll do anything to keep taking care of Buddy until they make a full recovery. I’ll leave after their batter. Dammit man I’ll do anything.” Yuu said as tears streamed down his face. “Dude… uh yah headmage we want to stay.” Deuce said, looking a little nervous. Crowley looked at Yuu distressed. “Stand up Yuu. I’ll give you one chance to rectify this wrong. Get me a magestone. That was the most expensive part of the chandler. And with the budget Mx Buddy gave me there is enough for the reapers if we exclude the mage crystal.” Crowley said looking as Yuu got up. “Where can we find one?” Yuu asked. “Erp… man Yuu bounced back quickly.” Ace said. “Well I’ll give you till next morning. You can find a magestone at the dwarf mine, use the dark mirror to get there. I will not wait a minute sooner.” Crowley said walking out of the cafeteria.