#and took photos with a bunch of my current favorites

[momowoah]

Chiyuu in the AKB Theater life is good again

[weeknd-ogoc]

PASSENGER PRINCESS ✧ ˚ · . CHARLES LECLERC

summary: in which charles tries to teach his girlfriend how to drive on her twenty second birthday. face claim: claudia tihan contains: some fluff, oral receiving (male), spoiled!reader, public and unprotected sex. authors note: i'm currently 21 and still don't have my license just because i have anxiety✨ so anyways i thought this would be fun to do & it's the king's 26th birthday today! 🎈

ⓘ this user is charles leclerc's passenger princess!

(italics are conversations in the past and the smaller words are the english translation!)

having a father, brother, and a boyfriend who were professional drivers meant you were basically driven wherever you wanted when you were with them. in the small chance you weren't with them, you had a chauffeur that was hired by your father to drive you wherever you needed to go.

"papa te va matar cuando te vea." your older brother told you as he turned to look at to see the dress you had picked out to wear for your birthday dinner. (dad's going to kill you when he sees you.)

you fixed your lipgloss through the mirror and shook your head no. "please you know he won't and you want to know why..."

he began parking the car and shook his head since he already knew what you were about to say, the same thing you've been saying since you were a little girl.

"porque yo soy su hija favorita." (because i'm his favorite daughter)

carlos knew you were right since you were basically the baby of the family so he just smiled. "well i think you look hermosa as always." (beautiful)

the both of you looked outside the car and saw there was paparazzi already waiting outside the restaurant. your father and brother's career truly opened up a whole bunch of opportunities for you.

"a model?" your father asked as he looked over the photos you had taken for a brand a week before. "why not just continue your studies mija?"

after a bit convincing your father gave you permission to pursue a modeling career so at the age of eighteen your face was on multiple magazines, you did your best to make a name for yourself instead of being known as carlos sainz's daughter or carlos sainz jr's younger sister.

a knock on the window pulled the both of you out of thought, it had been your boyfriend of a year.

he opened the door for you and instantly hugged you once you got out of the car. "happy birthday my love..." he said as he gave you a squeeze. "you look beautiful!"

your brother had formally introduced you to charles when he had joined ferrari, of coarse you had already knew him since he was your brothers competition and he had also seen you around but never introduced himself to you.

before you could let out a thank you, your brother looked down to his outfit. "why thank you, i really tried dressing up my best just for you." he joked which earned a laugh from the both of you.

before asking you out almost two years ago — the two of you were fuck buddies for a few months. let's just say charles had fell hard for you within three months of seeing you, he was certain there was just a little more to your relationship on his side when he had overhead lance tell your brother he wanted to ask you out during a party after a race in italy.

"i can't answer for her but i mean go for it." he heard your brother tell lance. "i know you're a good gu-"

so after hearing part of that conversation he quickly looked for you and when he finally did he saw lando offering you a drink with his charming smile.

“we can rain check that date.” he heard you tell him.

"really..." he mumbled out before walking over and excusing the both of you. "yeah i'm going to borrow her for a bit."

charles knew that lando and you had been super close since you guys were almost close in age. he also knew that before him, you and lando had a little fling going on.

he took you to a restroom close by, where he roughly pressed his lips onto yours and pulled up your dress from the bottom. "of course you don't have any panties on."

"quick access for you." you had told him as you undid his belt and pulled down his pants.

“for me or for lando?”

he saw as you smirked “oh don’t tell me you’re jealous…” you slowly licked the pre-cum coming out of his tip. “big boy.”

he groaned as he lifted you up. "nope, just wanted to remind you who you really belong to belle." (beautiful)

you had helped him slip it in and he began fucking you up against the wall — this wasn't the first time you guys hadn't used protection but he always managed to pull out on time since you weren't on any birth control.

"c'mon my love, make a mess on my cock..." he mumbled out as he fastened his pace, cock still hitting your g-spot. "you're so fucking wet.”

"ch- charles..." he hears you moan as you began digging your nails into his shoulders. “i’m so close.”

if the music outside wasn’t so loud everyone in the club would be able to hear your moans.

“that’s not even a dress…” your mother argued with you “carlo-“

your father quickly hugged you and handed you a gift bag. “mi niña bonita, feliz cumpleaños!” (my pretty girl, happy birthday.)

your mother let out a sigh since your father had yet to see the outfit you had on. growing up, your parents made it their mission to make sure your siblings and you dressed appropriately at all times. so once you moved out a few months after you turned eighteen, you decided to dress the way you wanted to.

charles loved that your family was so supportive of you and he really loved it when they welcomed him with open arms. before they had welcomed him into the family, he had made sure it was okay with your brother to be with you and when he had his permission he made sure to go all out on this.

"flowers?" you asked him confused since he had never bought you any.

"these past few months with you, have been the greatest an-"

anyways after that your dad took a bit convincing since you were his baby but it all worked in the end.

"i'm telling you i've tried!" your brother carlos told your boyfriend. "she stayed in parking the entire time."

you rolled your eyes as they both laughed you. "carlos let it go, it was seven years ago! plus you were yelling at me..."

you brother rolled his eyes and mumbled out an "no i was not, dramática." (dramatic)

"it was making me nervous!"

you remembered a few years back when your father had sent your brother to teach you how to drive since he couldn't do it himself. at first carlos really didn't want to but everyone knew your brother had a huge soft spot for you.

"dad was yelling at me!" you complained to your brother. "i can't work under pressure, if i'm truly your favorite sister you will help me."

he groaned and finally nodded. "ay pues te ayudaré, pero no tengo ningún favorito así que cierra el pico." (i'll help you but i don't have any favorites so shut your beak.)

the pair continued making fun of you and you huffed at them but before you could shoot back an embarrassing story of them your cake had arrived and everyone began singing to you.

twenty two!

♡

after the dinner charles had driven you to an empty parking lot. you squinted your eyes at him and gave him a smile as your hand started sliding down towards his pants. "are we doing it?"

"tempting but no i'm teaching you how to drive, now switch seats."

you tensed up as he got out the car and walked around to your side. he helped you out of the car and walked you to the other side.

"babe i don’t want to do this!" you nervously told him as you got in the drivers seat. “are you really trusting me with your ferrari?”

he didn't respond and closed the door, walking over to passenger side.

“i’m telling you the only driving i should be doing is driving you crazy.”

he chuckled at your nervousness. “i’m telling you it’s easy.”

you began to remember the time your father was trying to teach you and you reversed into a tree — this little memory caused your palms to begin sweating.

he sat back in the passenger seat and clapped his hands. "alright what do you do first?"

you groaned as you put your seatbelt on. "have my lovely boyfriend drive us back home so we can go have sex."

he gave you a little look and you groaned again. "alright fine, you check the mirror." you pulled down the sun visor and did a little smile. "and boom you see i still look beautiful."

he let out a chuckle and helped you close the sun visor. "you always look beautiful..." he began leaning in and you smashed your lips onto his but before you could undo your seatbelt he backed away. "c'mon the faster we finish, the faster you can drive us home and have really good sex."

you let out a little whine and put your hands on the wheel. "how the hell do you even start this? shouldn't we have started with a normal car?"

"i'm helping you, don't worry."

charles was a bit excited for this moment and had high hopes he was definitely getting his fifty dollars from carlos.

"im telling you, she won't get out of parking and you'll just be driving her back to your house..."

after two minutes of watching you with your hands on the wheel, he sighed. "if you want i can help you t-"

you swatted his hand before he could reach for anything. "no! i can do it, stop pressuring me."

he sat back down and waited a bit longer.

finally you had the car moving super slow, and you squealed. "thats it, i'm going to get my license and start driving us everywhere from now on."

which earned you a "huh?" from charles, he didn't expect you saying that since he loved driving you wherever but overall he was happy to see you this excited, you conitunued driving at a slow pace and finally decided it was time to speed it up just a little more.

"watch the bu-" before he could finish his sentence you had already hit the parking bumper.

"oops." you quietly let out. "sorry..."

for a second charles panicked and looked at you as he grabbed your hand to scan you. "are you alright?"

if anything were to happen to you while being with him, he knew your brother and father would most definitely murder him — not only that but he would never be able to forgive himself for letting you get hurt.

"i'm fine, are you?" you asked and he nodded before going outside to check the damage.

after a few minutes he sighed and opened your side of the door. "just a scratch, i can have it fixed tomorrow."

"did you like it? was that fun?" you lightly joked.

"umm yes..." he helped you out the car and wrapped an arm around your waist. "as much as i enjoyed being your passenger princess this time..." he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. "you failed this test my love."

you sighed before kissing him. "i guess you're stuck driving me wherever we need to go."

he kissed you once more before deepening the kiss and you placed your hand onto his growing bulge. "and i guess the only driving you should continue doing is driving me crazy."

before you could lead him to the backseat he shook his head and carried you up onto the hood of his car. "here?"

he nodded before kissing you again and lifted up your dress from the bottom just a bit. "here."

thank you guys for reading, my requests are open!

last imagine: luna, sol y mar | cs55

© weeknd-ogoc, 2023

[yumeka-sxf]

It's been a few months since my last merch haul post, so time for another one! As usual, acrylic stands are my main purchases, with the below set being one of the rarest I've found 💖

The reason these are so rare is because I couldn't get them from my usual places on Amiami and Mercari JP. They're from a company called Ultrizon and are currently only sold in China. I saw them advertised on Twitter from a shop in Thailand and decided to reach out on the off chance that the shop would ship to the US. And much to my pleasant surprise, the shop, Chibishiba, replied and said that they would ship to me 😃 I was a bit concerned because they seemed to be just a small "mom and pop" shop, with only Twitter DMs as their form of communication and they kept track of everyone's orders in a google sheet. But I looked around on their social media and they seemed legit, so I placed an order (a few other fanatics I know on Discord did as well!) And thankfully, they were totally legit! They ordered the items from China, then once they shipped to Thailand, they then shipped to me in the US! Only took a few weeks 😁

Here's some more photos because they're so lovely~ For some reason the two Twiyor sets make me think of a scenario where they're going to a dance or other fancy event together (the left ones), but then something happens and they have to switch to "action mode" to stop a villain, save Anya, etc (the right ones).

Bond looks so adorable in his suit~ Also the one of Anya on the left is her totally thinking "Papa and Mama are so cool 🤩"

Even though I typically only buy merch with the Forgers, Yuri, Damian, and Franky were also part of this set. Lol, when I made the below photo of the three of them, I laughed because it looks like they're posing for a photo, with only Damian having fun…Yuri's like "whatever" and Franky's like "how long will this take, I have a date!" 😂

Besides the Ultrizon acrylics, the other ones I was most looking forward to getting were these chibi ones from the cruise arc (two different sets)

Between all of these, I now have acrylics of the Forgers' full wardrobe from the cruise arc 😅 My favorites are suit Yor, "I won't stop fighting" Yor, and Fun Dad Loid!

I really liked these Twiyor acrylics from the recent Tsukuba collab. It's like they're going on a hiking date ❤️

I also got these chibi "famous scene" acrylics from the Waku Waku Park event.

I've been trying so hard to get the complete set of these big acrylics for a few months now...I managed to find Loid and Anya, but no one is selling Yor 😭 (or Bond). I won't stop looking though!

As for non-acrylic figures, I've been looking forward to getting this Yor & Anya figure for over a year! It was actually one of the first SxF items I preordered, way back in November of 2022! Considering they had the colored prototype available way back then, I'm surprised it wasn't officially released until March of 2024. But worth the wait ❤️

For Code White's release, I got the set of Luminasta figures (all three for a good price on eBay).

Also chibi Loid & Yor~ I know there's a ton of chibi Loid and Yor figures out there, but I really liked these for some reason.

Last month I went back to Kura Sushi for the last merch from their recent collab: this nice shirt~ You were able to get it if your bill was at least $70, which isn't hard to do if you bring a friend with you and you both eat a bunch of sushi! (well, he did most of the eating, lol). I'm planning to wear it for the first time at Anime Expo in July 😁

They also had this little Anya dessert.

And miscellaneous items I recently got were these pretty picture cards that I plan to make scans of.

The McDonald's collab booklet, the season 2 complete set box, and the Loid & Anya cloth poster that came with the box. I also plan to make scans of these!

A mug from the Tobu Zoo collab.

And lastly, some new decals for my car! I found this set at Walmart of all places, lol. Found room for them among my other decals.

Since I bought so many new acrylics and figures lately, I had to do a major reorganization of my display shelves. But I'll save those photos for another post~

[swarvey]

🎉🎉🎈🎊🎈🎊🎉🎊🎈🎊 CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Maybe a ask of your favorite characters celebrating? Like you finished the community center and had the big party but your bookie bear wants to celebrate with you at home?

Ya know keep the celebration going for everyone

get a room! | harvey x f!reader

summary -> you finally finish the community center and celebrate with everyone in town. harvey would rather take things back home. warnings -> none! wc -> 787

a/n: i actually love this prompt sm, thank you anon!!! ik you didn't specifically request nsfw but i'm lowkey inspired so y'all lmk if you want a part two with what harvey would do hehe

-

"y/n! i can't believe it, you actually did it!"

emily tackles you with a hug, squeezing you tightly before looking at you with a proud gleam in her eyes. leah stands behind her with a warm smile on her face, while haley takes off her earbuds and begins looking around the finished community center. it took you countless seasons and, quite literally, your own blood, sweat, and tears to do it, but you've finally completed all the bundles in the building.

everyone in pelican town has joined you in celebration at the restored building. penny walks with jas and vincent, pointing to the different bundles and explaining the work you put behind them; alex stands in front of the fireplace and poses while haley begrudgingly takes a photo of him; sam and abigail excitedly make their way from room to room, sebastian trailing behind them and admiring the refurbished spaces.

"i have to say, i am quite impressed, my friend!" elliott declares broadly, walking up to you with a grin. "this explains all the running around i always see you doing, correct?"

"that's right," you reply, laughing as your friend gives you a round of applause. "please, at least this means that stupid joja mart will finally shut down."

"it also means i am currently unemployed, prick," another voice grumbles. you smile sheepishly at shane as he joins the two of you, arms crossed and an amused look in his eye. "thanks for that."

"now is not the time to drag her down," emily scolds. "look at all the wonderful energy surrounding this place!"

"oh, enough with that energy bullshit. it looks nice, i'll give her that."

"nice?" elliott repeats, suddenly looking personally offended. "why, i believe that's the understatement of the past hundred centuries."

as he continues on with his theatrics with leah pulling on his sleeve to stop, you can't help but listen with a warm feeling in your chest. despite everyone's differences, they were all willing to come here to celebrate your success. you realize how attached you've become to the town and its people, grateful to have the luck of living in such a place.

you startle slightly when you feel elliott's arm tightly wrap around your shoulders, drawing you to his side.

"she is the pride of pelican town, shane," elliott continues dramatically, shaking your body for emphasis. "the work she has done for all of us will be recognized years from now!"

shane laughs — wholeheartedly laughs — and you immediately grin back. it's not every day you get to see the grumpy guy crack a smile. "it looks like the 'pride of our town' might be dying of embarrassment in your arm, pretty boy."

"i have to agree." a hand gently grabs yours, tugging you out of elliott's grasp. "i hope i'm not interrupting."

harvey smiles at you, his gaze filled with love and pride. out of everyone, he definitely understands the efforts you put in the most — especially after long nights spent in the mines, or early morning visits to the clinic after you exhausted yourself a little too much.

"you never cease to amaze me, my dear," he expresses warmly, and suddenly, the rest of the room seems to fade away. "you're incredible."

you rub the back of your neck, shaking your head. "lewis is the one who told me what to do, and those little junimos helped out a bunch—"

"now is not the time to be humble." he squeezes your hand. "you're one of a kind. i can only hope this means you won't be going to the mines as often." harvey frowns then, a look of protectiveness taking over him. "i typically prefer not having to bandage you up, you know."

you laugh, but before you can respond, a gruff voice sounds from beside the two of you.

"and i usually prefer not having to see you guys eye-fuck each other in front of the entire damn population," shane groans, leaving to look at another section of the center. "get a room!"

you and harvey look at each other with raised brows, and you notice the others slowly inching away.

"if i have to admit," he starts, slightly pulling you closer to him, "i would prefer having you all to myself, as selfish as it sounds." you can see a blush creeping up his neck at his statement, looking at the floor in embarrassment.

"what's stopping you, then?"

his eyes meet yours, reaffirming your words, and you nod.

then, you suddenly find yourself all but sprinting out the community center doors. your laugh fills the air as harvey drags you along with him, face beet red as he leads you back to the farm.

[cloveroctobers]

LOVE FOR A MINUTE — ARMANDO ARETAS [Summer Randoms]

A/N: I did say I was going to take a break with my summer collection soon but uh…THIS IS ACTUALLY SHORT WORK SO IT DOESNT COUNT! Anyways what if I bring you a dash of some mess that I randomly started writing on my lunch break based off one of my current overplayed songs?🏃🏽‍♀️

WARNINGS: language, toxicity, arranged marriages, mentions of gun violence, use of y/n & infidelity!

SYNOPSIS: in which Armando is trying to figure out a lot of things in his life but…it’s always something.

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁

All it took was some passionfruit soda to figure out that you were cheating on him. Not only cheating but with someone he unfortunately worked alongside of.

Rafe.

And Armando already couldn’t stand his obnoxious ass. It didn’t take him long to figure it out either, the dots being connected unbeknownst to you and it was no secret that Armando was a man of few words but he was also very observant. Rafe had no issue being the loudest in the room, the type of co-worker that loved playing videos on his phone on the highest of volumes that one of his speakers was actually on its way out.

Rafe was all protein shakes, açaí bowls, and early morning workout routines but the moment he showed up with a plastic filled cup with a colorful beverage, burping up a storm from the other side of Kelly, who kept giving him warnings while she cleaned her favorite weapon of choice at her spot of the desk, that was the final blow for Armando.

Armando looked away from his own desk which was off to the side away from the original AMMO members—he had his own personal sticker thanks to the amusement of the team which read: does not play well with others right on the side of the table, he fully turned to face Rafe who laughed it up.

“C’moooooon, That was the best one!” Rafe held his hands up in defense.

Dorn rolled his eyes with a shake of his head, “not only are you annoyingly distracting, you also reek, dude. What the hell are you drinking?”

The ADHD must be kicking in as Rafe now had one hand on his phone, texting away with his thumb, giving Armando enough time to sneak up and catch a glimpse of a bikini photo that looked awfully familiar before Rafe quickly locked his phone. He clears his throat, lifting his head to meet Armando standing over him.

“Can I help you? Ever heard of personal space?”

Armando lifts his chin, his voice naturally low as he states, “Let me see your phone.”

“Uhhhh? No?”

“I’m not asking.”

“Which is exactly why I’m not handing it over.” Rafe smirked.

Armando crossed his arms, “You got something to hide?”

“No.” Rafe scoffed, “I just don’t appreciate you standing over me like you’re fucking Michael myers or something, making demands. We’re not even friends and I know you got your own phone, whether it’s from your deadbeat dad or from some dirty money you probably have stashed away.”

Hands were placed right on Rafe, making Dorn widen his eyes from his spot at the sound of impact while he sat at the end of the desk. Armando had his hands right at Rafe’s shirt, but not without slapping his hands flat against Rafe’s chest, almost knocking the wind out of him as Armando bunched up his shirt while he got right in Rafe’s face. “…Seems like you had a lot to say about me behind my back, so why don’t you say it all to my face this time?”

“Yeah okay…” Rafe starts as he sizes Armando up, “Maybe you should go on your lunch break because you’re doing a lot right now. More than usual.”

Armando doesn’t miss a beat, “Maybe I should ask your girl to join me instead. You know the one? The one you keep stringing along and is also the mother of your baby girl?”

Rafe tightens his square jaw, “what the fuck are you getting at, bro?”

Armando darkens his stare, “I see right through you, bro.”

“Oh yeah?”

“So I’m actually going to ask you a question that I already know the answer to: are you fucking my wife?”

Kelly and Dorn both flick their gazes to each other’s.

Rafe licks his full lips, breaking eye contact for a moment, but he knew he had an audience so he keeps his usual persona up, “…I’ll give her back if you want?”

And that was enough for Armando to swing. He didn’t need to know the details from Rafe but he needed to make the message clear, it was always fuck Rafe around these parts, and he stood on that. However Rafe wasn’t one to back down from a fight and sure he maybe taller than Armando, the well known muscle of the team but none of that means anything to Armando. He’s had plenty of bodies left to rot all over—so in short—none of these men were punks.

“As much as I love a good fight, I’m exhausted dealing with you assholes everyday! So cut the shit.” Kelly yells, one arm pressed up against Rafe’s throat on the other side of the room while Dorn is also holding Armando back.

Dorn nods, “We’re supposed to be a team, here!”

“He sucker punched me in the face!” Rafe points, “and we were forced to work with his bitch ass anyways!”

Armando pants, “The only backstabbing bitch I see here is you, motherfucker.”

“Oh whatever! I don’t owe you anything. You’re in your feelings over a chick that just wasn’t that into you and you knew that so you want to take it out on me.” Rafe yells, “face it, you got played by someone that was forced to be with you because of mommy dearest.”

Armando laughs humorlessly, ducking underneath Dorn’s arms but he jogs right after him, grabbing his wrists and pulling them back while yanking Armando, “I’m surprised it took this long for someone to knock you on your ass.”

“Oh it’s been awhile.” Kelly chimes in over her shoulder.

Rafe rolls his eyes, recalling just what Kelly was talking about, “I’d split your eyebrow open if it wasn’t for Mr. And Mrs. Smith here. And you got me while I was sitting, which is weak by the way.”

Armando shrugs, “what difference would it make? you’d still be garbage.”

“All that anger should go to someone who cares and newsflash, it’s not me.” Rafe mockingly grins at the ex-crime boss.

Dorn interupts, “wait…all this is over y/n? Rafe…the one you were sexting and talking about is y/n?”

Kelly throws her head back with a shake of her head, just wondering why her boyfriend would add more salt to the wound. Dorn sometimes ended up speaking his thoughts out loud before thinking them over, truly.

“Ding! Ding! Ding! Someone gets an B-!”

However that didn’t stop Kelly from shoving her forearm tighter up the dark haired man’s throat, making him wheeze. Rafe raises his hand in surrender as a sign that he was just joking.

“That’s fucked up, dude.” Dorn slowly loosen’s his grip on Armando who side eyes him for holding him back, then fixes his shirt, “on so many levels.”

The four in the room couldn’t erase the tension but two familiar forms definitely could.

“What is going on in here?!” Captain Secada demanded, as she viewed the damage to the tech, Rafe’s busted lip, who tried to hide the evidence by pulling his lips into his mouth, spilled fruit soda dripping off the counter and onto the desk chair, Kelly let’s go of the Asian man, placing her hands on her hips as she looked back and forth between the men in further irritation, Dorn awkwardly scratches the back of his head, and Armando appeared as if he was ready to leap again.

Detective Lowrey steps into Armando’s view, who still appeared as if he was looking right through his biological father, right at Rafe.

“Mando, talk to us.”

He says nothing, making Mike rub his jaw in frustration at the common wall his son liked to put up. “My guess is: Rafe got what was comin’ to him.”

Kelly snorts while Dorn nods his head, quickly looking away once Rafe throws his hands up is confusion on why Dorn didn’t have his back. Rita sends Mike a warning look but he just shrugs as he turns to stand side ways, so that he can get a good look at everyone again.

“Regardless of what happened before we arrived—which I will find out—Do I need to remind you all that this is a place of business, where professionalism and team work is supposed to be the number one priority?”

Rafe huffs, “try telling that to the cartel Tasmanian devil over there. I know what oath I took to be here…some people were just handed shit.”

All eyes snapped to Rafe at that.

He just didn’t know when to quit.

Armando snickered as he scratches at the side of his nose by his beauty mark. Although his heart was drumming in his chest over the truth, he kept his cool—now.

“…That’s fine, next time I’ll just put the gun in your mouth instead.”

“WHOA! WHOA! ALRIGHT!” Mike scolded, although he didn’t blame Armando, he didn’t need him locked up again.

While Rita interjected, “that’s enough you two!”

“I think that’s my cue to go home for the day.” Armando stated, not looking for permission from either of the higher ranks, as he turns to start grabbing a few of his items: phone, keys, and his backpack.

“Tell y/n I said wassup.” Rafe raises his chin while Armando sends him one last look with a mocking laugh, motioning a gun at him on his way out.

Mike runs his hands over his goatee as Rita sends him a glance, making him quickly dip his head to follow his son out of the trailer part of the building.

“Mando, hey!” Mike calls out to the shorter man who’s making his way over to his car.

Armando keeps moving, unlocking the door to the car, throwing his things into the passenger side. When Mike slams his hands down on the hood of the car, Armando turns from the ajar door to meet Mike’s eyes.

“Don’t do nothing stupid. Not when you’ve come this far.” Mike tells Armando, whose eyes are as dark as black coffee.

Armando blinks, “Sure, I’m a murderer turned agent but I’m not down for being disrespected.”

“Okay,” Mike nods, “I feel that. And I’m proud that you lasted this long not popping that asswipe in the mouth.”

Armando snorts, already being aware that Rafe had his share of words with Mike as well.

“Tell me now, are you plotting something against y/n too?”

“No.” Armando shrugged his shoulders, “I been knew—

“But you loved her so that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, right? You can be real with me.” Mike suggests.

Armando deeply inhales, “…I don’t think I know much about love after all, Mike.”

And with that, he climbs into the car, starting the engine, leaving the man on the outside to step out of the way and watch Armando go.

The stories you tried to spin when you got Armando to finally talk to you, made him blow up on you. It’s not the first fight you’ve ever had, the relationships always been toxic. Your mothers were in jail together, you and Armando were practically raised in that facility together in Mexico City until a certain age and then you were both uprooted away from your moms and away from each other.

Somehow you found your way back together, whereas Armando went into training underneath Benito Aretas, you didn’t exactly grow up in a loving home either. Finding yourselves into crooked crime and wealth, you both did well for yourselves and it was written in stone that you two would be in an arranged marriage. Your mother ended up dying in prison but that was her dying wish, believing that Isabel would do right by you.

Depends on how you define that.

You became Mrs. Aretas at twenty-one but once you came to the states and got a taste of a different life, you changed. Armando was always on a mission and ultimately you were on a different one.

You two were no longer a team so it seemed, carrying on tasks on your own where at times your home in Florida started to feel colder at times.

“I’m out here forced to pay off my debts with people I don’t even care for like that, knowing that my wife is doing me dirty. How do you expect me to continue living your famous lie of: everything’s fine when it’s far from it?” Armando asks after you slapped the laptop that he was working on, right off the dining table.

You’re folding your arms, “nothing about our relationship has been a lie, i love you and wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t regardless of what our mother’s wanted. I just—

“ Last I heard you don’t cheat on people you claim to love—guess that’s something you have in common with my mother.” Armando leans back in the chair, fingers folded together.

Raising your brows you deeply exhale, “Look…I know you’re pissed off with me and you have every right to be but i dont appreciate you comparing me to Isabel. I’m not anything like her.”

Armando shrugs his shoulders, “manipulative, selfish, calculated, narcissistic—

“Wow! Say it with your whole chest then.”

“You fucked up, so I’m done.”

“W-what?”

“All those years gone just like that.” Armando feels his jaw about to shake, “and with Rafe of all people? He’s somebody’s whole father and you know he treat’s Kennicott like shit so what was it? The crimson chin?”

You clench your eyes shut, “this is no excuse but the first time we were all drunk and at the club, Mike was there—

“Don’t bring him into this,” Armando snaps, knowing where you were going, “we been had that conversation months ago. You know what? I don’t even need the whole rundown because I’ve already got the gist. I just want to know when I should expect you out by.”

He’s back on his phone, app open to make a schedule and reminders already.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You argue.

Armando keeps a straight face although his brow wants to raise in annoyance, “cool then I’ll leave and have some people stop by to get my things within a week.”

“Armando.” You start, waterworks rising as you begin to follow him, “we can work this out.”

Armando stops in his tracks, almost making you bump into the back of him. He says over his shoulder, “there’s nothing else to work out, this hasn’t been working and I’ve constantly been turning the other cheek since we got here together. Since I got locked up but I guess you forgot about what a commitment entails. Maybe we’re better off without each other for good this time.”

Angrily wiping your tears you grit at his retreating form down the hallway that led to one of the five bedrooms, laundry room, and the side door that led to the car port outside, “don’t tell me you’re just gonna go off and fuck off with Kennicott and her kid? how cliche!”

He puts his shades on in the driver’s side as you rest your hands on the rolled down window, “take care of yourself the best way you know how, y/n and good luck with Rafe. Who knows how much longer he’s got left?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly, what that means.” Armando’s stare is heated even behind his expensive shades, “please, watch your feet. I’m outta here.”

You’re left a gapping fish, jumping back as Armando reversed out of the car port and out of your life for good, if he can help it.

“Hi sweetie,” you smile down at the five year old by the swings as you briefly peek back at Kennicott standing in front of Armando who’s sitting on the bench, shielding the sun from his eyes but his faint dimples are showing as he peers up at her like she created the damn sun.

You start to wonder when’s the last time he’s looked at you like that.

It’s been some time since he emptied his things out the shared home you had together. You still tried to keep up conversations and hookups with Rafe, mostly to keep tabs on Armando but Rafe caught on quick to your game. That’s when the ghosting started and you running up on every other girl Rafe tried to bring back to his place.

Deeming you as crazy but it wouldn’t be the first time.

This wasn’t healthy, you knew this but you couldn’t help yourself. Why did Rafe think he could just get rid of you? And why did Armando think he can just move on and do exactly what you knew he would do.

That’s where you got it wrong.

He wasn’t dating Kennicott but she did manage to get some smiles out of him. Of course he already knew her since she came around to headquarters doing sweet things for Rafe and the team that he never appreciated. It was like Kennicott was a bother to Rafe yet she was also the mother of his child? She deserved better much like Armando did and if you wanted to look at it in a petty way…it was nice to get underneath Rafe’s skin in the process by being her friend.

You still didn’t sign the divorce papers but when you received them, you thought about doing a drive by to be honest. That was more Armando’s style but it wouldn’t be so different than what you normally got into. Before getting to that you started off small, by keeping tabs on those Armando affiliated with and placing a tracker on Kennicott’s emerald green 4Runner. Which led to the park Kennicott always brought her daughter to on Saturdays.

Wednesdays were swimming lessons, Thursdays were Kennicott’s late nights at the office so baby girl was usually with Rafe’s mom. You had their schedule down pat and it was the perfect time to execute.

“Y/n?!” Armando screamed your name as you handed the five year old off to your accomplice in the backseat.

It was like slow motion as you spotted a worried Kennicott gripping Armando’s forearm, once your eyes switched from their comfortability and back up to their faces, you sent a wicked smile before tossing the door back and hoping into the tinted car.

Armando knows he could have taken the shot but you were still his wife, there were plenty of witnesses and children, and he always had the risk of being thrown back in jail hanging over his head. He knew your game, actually fell in love with it, so all he could do for right now was embrace a distraught Kennicott underneath his arm and call it in.

If that’s how you wanted to play, he was guaranteed to win.

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁

Continue reading my summer anthology writings & prompts here.

[hawkland]

Art Masterpost: The Beginning Story by emmbrancsxx0 (@valleydean) Art by sidewinder (@hawkland)

When I saw an endverse story up for claims in this year's @deancashorrorfest — particularly one exploring the beginnings of how it all came to be — I knew I had to get my grubby, greedy hands on it. When I found out it was written by none other than @valleydean, I may have made some hqppy screeching noises to rival Castiel's true voice. Getting to do art for one of my favorite writers is always exciting, if sometimes anxiety-inducing, but I ended up having an absolute blast working on these with Mallory and am really happy with how they turned out. Thank you for being such an amazing partner to work with, and I'm so excited for everyone else getting to read the story now!

Thank you as well to @kingdumbass for organizing Horrorfest once again, and creating one of my favorite little Destiel communities on the net. It's always a ton of fun and I love how you keep the server going & engaging year round.

Some rambling comments on the art & my process below the cut.

As usual these were all done in watercolor with a little bit of black & white acrylic pen work for fine details and lines. I used rough/cold press paper for all of these to keep a consistent feeling and because it's always my favorite for doing any portraits and where I want a lot of blending control.

The hardest thing for me was deciding which of the many memorable scenes and moments I wanted to illustrate in the time I had available. I had a pretty clear vision for the title art early on: to show Dean & Cas at the beginning of it all, with a collage of elements of destruction behind them and doing the title text in the "Croatoan graffiti" style. There were a bunch of different reference shots combined for that one: screencaps from 5x04, a later-season shot of Dean & Cas walking together to get their positions how I wanted, etc. My Cas "face" reference was actually from Stonehenge Apocalypse as I wanted him looking a little more human/hopeful than standard s4-5 Cas as he's pretty low on grace but still has a little "angel mojo" left.

(As Mallory commented when I shared it as a WIP, "That's a man who's about to be destroyed!" :D D:)

I'm also really glad I was able to get the painting to Mallory at DC-Con! You can see in the pic that it's pretty big (16"x20") to get all that detail in!

For the next piece, there's a small scene of Dean and Cas on the road under smoke-filled skies, past a "God Saves" billboard that just struck me. I'd just driven out to Pittsburgh and back on the PA Turnpike so used some quick reference snaps I took combined with photos of the hazy skies from the Canadian wildfires earlier this year to get the atmosphere I wanted. I tried to keep some of the same washed-out colors and feeling of the title piece for that, save the color of the sky.

For the rest, I wanted to do one piece each of Cas and Dean at critical moments in their journey through the story. Cas facing himself in the shattered glass of a pharmacy cabinet was a moment I knew I had to try to capture. It reminded me of that amazing shot of Misha in Gotham Knights, with Harvey and the smashed mirror, so that was definitely in my mind as a visual reference.

Cas himself is a combination of some Purgatory screencaps and some out-of-character Misha pics from here and there to get his hair the way I wanted it to look (even if I ended up painting over most of it with interference silver watercolor to create the effect of the shattered glass. Here's an in-progress look:

The Dean rooftop piece is one I'd had in my head as soon as I read the passage in the story, but it was the last piece I tackled. The city in flames behind Dean was pretty much done in one shot as a spontaneous wet-in-wet wash...though it was a little eerie and unsettling working on it this past week with current events playing out on the tv while I painted.

Finally, I really wanted to do a piece showing Dean and Cas as they are near the end of the story compared to how they started out. This one came together in a really fast burst of inspiration - I think one day drawing and two days painting because it's smaller than the others (12"x6") and I wanted it to be really close up and intimate. Drawing:

Poor boys have been through a lot. And it's only going to get worse )-:

Anyway, that's more than enough from me. Have you gone to start reading the story yet? If not, go there now! Bookmark! Read! Leave lots of love in the comments! Reblog and check out the rest of this year's Horrorfest collection while you're there!

[thatfailedpokemontrainer]

Pelipper mail!

[Oh! It's a letter from Polaris!]

"Dear Sprite (and assumably the rest of you, looking over Sprite’s shoulder. My money is on Beedrill, Kittsu, and Tari.)

Hello!

Bird and I have made it to Sinnoh safely and are currently staying at the Hotel near the sanctuary. Sprite knows the one. Bird was a little nervous on the plane, but I was able to acquire some last-minute accommodations so that she could have her Sewaddle with her while we flew, and that made her feel better :)

Our flight actually landed in Sinnoh early, so we had some extra time before the sanctuary was expecting me, so I took Bird on a tour of the local areas of Sinnoh. We went to a few sweet shops and also saw a plant cloak Wormadam so that might be a new favorite pokemon of Bird’s. We will have to keep this in mind.

She’s having a bit of a harder time sleeping in an unfamiliar place, but having her Sewaddle and Geronimo around does soothe her, and I’ve settled on reading her Sinnohian bedtime stories to help her settle down to sleep, which is working fairly well. There are two beds in the Hotel room, but Bird always seems to end up in mine by the morning.

The sanctuary is doing well! I’m very very pleased with the progress that we’ve made. Today Bird and I are going to see the Walrein pod and see what accommodations I can make for them to settle best into the sanctuary. Wallace will be coming with, of course.

Beedrill: Don’t worry, I am keeping Bird very very safe. Nothing will happen to her on my watch. Also, I think it’s good for her to experience new cultural foods, and pokemon she hasn’t seen before. Even if she hides behind my wheelchair a lot. I took many pictures of her for you, and I sent them in the letter.

Tari: I hope you are your pokemon are doing well, and that you’re still having a good time at the house after I left, and after taking over the account again haha. I left some spare money under the fruit bowl in the kitchen so you teens can go out to the arcade while we’re gone :)

Kittsu: I’m sorry that I left at such a poor time. The expensive fire type food is behind the paper towels in the sink. Please do not let another mew into the house while I am gone haha. Be safe. Please.

Sprite: I’m very very proud of you. I know you don’t love handwriting, so I don’t expect a letter back, but if you do want to, I listed the name of my temporary address on the envelope. I gave you a lot of responsibility while I’m gone, but I trust you to be able to handle the house, and to be able to ask our neighbors for help if you need it.

I love you all and miss you very much! Hopefully, this Walrein issue blows over soon and I can come home.

All my Love,

Polaris (and Bird, who is supervising my letter writing)

P.S. I am amassing sweets and bobbles for those of you at home."

[Attached to the letter are a number of photos. One with Bird in a puffy winter coat, another of Bird posing with a Wormadam, and a third with Bird taking a bite of Dango. There are also a few just regular scenic photos of Sinnoh. The last photo seems to have been taken by someone else, and feature Polaris and Bird posed on either side of a sign that reads "Welcome to the Chroma Sanctuary and Museum for Hisuian Pokemon"]

[A letter was sent back, in pretty bad quality handwriting, ]

Hi Polaris.

Missing you a bunch. We all liked your Letter. Me especially.

I fear I have been taking you for granted. Taking care of everyone, cooking, ect ect. You do a lot for me, and I haven't always appreacaited it. I'm sorry, I haven't appreaciated you enough.

Things have been okay here. I've been sleeping a lot.

Sorry my handwritings so bad. It hurts.

I'll let everyone respond to their parts of the letter from here.

"I'm glad you're keeping her safe. I am trusting you with not only her saftely, but her wellbeing. I sacrificed a lot to make sure she wouldn't grow up as afraid as I was. If you throw that away because you think she can handle certain things, I will never forgive you. The photos are nice. Have her in bed by 8.30, she likes having the light on. -Beedrill."

"Hiya proffesor!! I'm having a good time, thank you for lending me your room, it's so so comfy, I promise I am keeping it clean and stuff!!! Sprite promised he'd teach me how to battle- so I'mm exited for that. You're really cool :). Also I'm keeping an eye on Delta, despite what it may say. We're salvagable, I think."

“Absolutely will do! Please don’t worry about timing at all, the sanctuary is important!! I think Ember’s taken to eating her foot out of plastic water cups- I thought that might amuse you”

'm glad you're proud of me bubs.

Love

Sprite :>

Kittsu :D

Beedrill.

Tari xoxo

[movementsofmylife]

People I wanna know better tag meme

Thank you for the tag @shannankle :)

Last song?

Currently obsessed with Seungkwan's cover of Shape by Choi Yu Ree because I love to be in pain.

Favorite color?

Probably deep green.

Currently watching?

I just caught up with a bunch of BL I missed from 2023: Love for Love's Sake, Jun and Jun, The New Employee, Kiseki: Dear to Me, and To My Start 2 from 2022. All good, lfls and tms2 are my angsty faves and Chen Yi and Ai Di have simply taken over my brain cells to argue and never say one single thing directly if it could be said obliquely and with threats of violence.

I just started Love in the Air lol because I wanted something light but ep 1 and Payu's vibes are perhaps not for me. I'm also watching Build Up, this korean vocal survival show thing, it's great background watch vibes.

Honestly I'm kind of looking for BLs to watch, not that there isn't wild amounts but because I want something which is kind of similar to The Eighth Sense or I Promised You the Moon, which is to say, a bit artsy, a bit angsty and with something to say outside of the romance itself? So recs are welcome~

Last movie?

Oh good god, I genuinely don't remember but I think it was Mind Game dir. by Masaki Yuasa sometime last fall. I'm truly bad with watching movies.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?

Spicy~ I like it hot lol

Relationship status?

Single and too caught up in work and research to want anything more than a cat and an apartment to my name.

Current obsessions?

Chen Yi and Ai Di. Truly so good. Why isn't there 1000s of fic about them already?? Their dynamic is so good and so cursed and truly neither of them can communicate to literally save a life and I love them for this.

Last thing you googled?

Masaki Yuasa's name spelling lol~

Selfie or another pic you took?

A photo of my cat bundled in blankets:

Truly just tagging with no knowledge about whether you've done this before or not. Please also simply partake if this is your jam~

@chordassinationtechnique @khaofirsts @sunsetghouls @idletype @sparklyeyedhimbo

[cosplayinamerica]

So my cosplay origin story started back when I was in fifth grade. I was 10 and my mom told me she couldn't afford to get me a Halloween costume that year. So I stayed up all night being really sad about it and then suddenly I had an idea.

So I ran around my house and found a bunch of different pieces of clothing and put them together. I found a white shirt I found the blue vest I found the baseball cap, and at the time I was obsessed with Digimon so everywhere I went with me I had a little demiveemon with me. So I actually even made him a mask and I put the mask on him and I had a pokeball from Burger King when they were doing those gold Pokemon cards and I put him in the pokeball and I went to school the next day as Ash. That was when I first got started I didn't know that it was called cosplay.

That was around the time [high school]that we had learned about Anime Vegas so I grabbed my cousin and then we of course did our little closet cosplays cuz of course there were no wig stores or cosplay shops or places to get costume pieces like there are today.

And we took the bus down to Vegas. I think we were 15 at the time and we were so excited when we got there and there was a whole line of people also in there closet cosplays that they put together waiting to get in. That's when I really got into cosplay when I first went to Anime Vegas cuz I knew there was a name for it and I knew I wasn't the only person that liked dressing up like anime characters.

My current cosplay: so right now at the School of Cosplay I am working on my Crow cosplay. He is from a show called show by Rock and he is a rockstar hedgehog LOL. He has a lot of spikes a lot of studs leather pants leather jacket a tail the whole nine yards. He is what I am working on for an upcoming competition at LVL UP Expo for this upcoming February and then after him I'm actually going to work on a pretty exciting and ambitious cosplay for Crunchyroll expo.

It's going to be a remake of Lelouch from Code Geass. And it's a remake because I made him a long long time ago way before the school even existed and looking back on it I hated how it turned out LOL and I want to take it up like a million notches

[School of Cosplay] It's just a nice safe space to work and it's very spacious and of course having an instructor there to answer any questions you may have is always helpful. I've always wanted to improve any time I've done a masquerade and I go to feedback I would always be told you have to take your costume up some more your performances are great but you got to improve on your costume work. And I would never know how to do that.

A lot of people can go on YouTube and watch videos or some people went to college for it. I'm more of an in-person learner so the school has really helped me in teaching me everything I need to know when helping me improve.

My number one [favorite cosplay I've done] would have to be Anthy from Utena. And there's just something about that costume that I just love. I think it has to do with the fact that growing up besides being a black cosplayer it was hard to find female cosplays that I thought looked good on me.

The first time I made Anthy, I thought she looked really cute on me and so once I started going to the School of Cosplay I wanted to remake her because I had learned so many skills there and so I made her a second time and she came out better but there was still something that I needed to perfect on her.

So that's what I made her a third time and that's the one you saw in the studio I'm really proud of how she came out. Ahe is perfection and she looks extremely good on me which always surprises me.

Photos by @midnight_pursona_photography

So my number three would have to be Motoyasu from the Reprise of Superhero. So me and my friends had done a shield hero group at Anime Los Angeles right before the pandemic. And my friend was going to be Naofumi, who I love but the next character in line that I was going to be Motoyasu. But I hated his personality so when I was making his first costume I was looking for any reason I could find to not hate him. That's when I found out that he had a side manga series called the reprise of spear hero where he actually redeemed himself and I actually started to really really like him. So after I did his first costume I did his second costume from the side manga and it came out so nice it was one of my most difficult cosplays to make. 

My second favorite Tokiya from uta no prince sama. I adore idol anime especially if it's male idol anime. And I have an obsession with a Japanese voice actor named miyano mamoru. So I like the cosplay characters he voices. 

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Advice I would give to my younger self would probably be more along the lines of masquerade because my younger self did not understand masquerade. I didn't know how it worked assume that you going and getting up on stage is an automatic award. I would tell my younger self to make sure to always continue putting your best foot forward to not be afraid to cosplay outside their comfort zone and that of course anyone can cosplay do not let how you feel about yourself getting the way of what you love. Because there have been times where I have not done a cosplay because I was worried about how I would look to this day there is still a costly that I've wanted to do since I was a teenager that I have not done yet but I will soon.

https://www.instagram.com/subarucamui/

Amazon School Teacher List https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/37LJSGUKTW2ZH?ref_=wl_share

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

What inspires your art? Like, how did you come up with your art style, how happy you are with it and if there are any other artists that inspire you?

Asking a few people as a way to understand and grow as an artist at a crossroads. Have a good day.

That's a big question! lol

Inspiration:

I think it's fair to say that I'm inspired by a wide variety of things, and that's what tends to combine to influence art—most of my art comes from a place of wanting to communicate what I'm thinking, just like my writing does. Some things are easier to communicate visually, and some linguistically. I took a variety of classes in college as part of my degree, including some unrelated to it, such as cinematography, lots of art history, etc. and I think having an understanding of those things can help to cultivate an understanding of what goes into... everything, really. Composition, color, form factor, material, history. I find it all interesting and I like to think about those things when I write and draw because I like to have concrete ideas of place and object.

Influences range from manga to books to superhero comics (I mean, obviously), cartoons, music, movies, and whatever else, but also of course other little things from day to day life whether that's personal experiences, specific imagery (of a sunset or something else), foods, outfits I see on the bus, and so on. It's very much a matter of absorbing the world around oneself and translating that into images (or words).

There are definitely a lot of artists that inspire me! Not necessarily style influence but some of my current favorite artists include (but are not limited to) Petra Nordlund, zombieisok, Nick Robles, Esad Ribić, Tradd Moore, Cathy Kwan, Tess Stone, and a whole bunch of other people (too many to list them all!)

Like, Ryōko Kui has great art! Dungeon Meshi is super pretty. It's great to read comics and see great art—I love the way Non-Stop Spider-Man (Chris Bachalo) looks, I really like David Lafuente's work in Radiant Red, Scott Hepburn does some really cool work, I really enjoy the way Eduardo Ferigato draws the characters in Radiant Black (esp Marshall), etc. etc. etc. there are a ton of artists whose work I love!

And! I think this is important—my friends! Spending time talking to my friends has always been a source of inspiration for things to write or draw, since I was in middle school at least. It's fun to bounce ideas off of each other and I enjoy it a lot even when I don't draw or write something related to whatever convo (which, lbr, is most of the time lol)

Art style:

Off the top of my head, there are some specific things I studied on purpose in middle or high school while drawing—Natsuki Takaya's Fruits Basket and CLAMP's works in general but especially Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE and xxxHolic were very influential on my developing art style. What I did then was not try to make my art look Like CLAMP or Like Takaya at all times, but rather mostly looking at things like how they would draw ears or whatever else, though I also did copies/studies of specific panels (freehand, not traced) where the goal was to make it look like the source to understand shapes etc.

I think that CLAMP's shōnen manga style influence is probably still wildly obvious in my art—I draw people very long-limbed and I know it! (lmao)

I was also definitely influenced/inspired by Nanae Chrono's Vassalord, plus some anime like Tiger & Bunny, which I adored in high school.

Tess Stone's work overall but esp Hanna is Not a Boy's Name has also always inspired me a lot, though I'm not sure to what extent his art has influenced mine—but I think it would be a lie to say it hasn't lol. His work with shape language, color, typography, etc. is next level 👌

As far as more recent influences, it's harder to say. I look at a lot of art, read a lot of comics, and so on, so I pick up small things through osmosis from all of the things around me, inevitably, as well as looking at reference photos. So art style is of course the specific way I process the world and art and so on—the corners of mouths, the shapes of shoes—and re-combine it on paper, and it varies from the very simple 10 minute chibi doodles to the more rare and intensive full illustrations that take 10 hours/multiple days.

As far as my own art quality/satisfaction, I'd say at this point I tend to be mostly neutral on it as a whole, with of course specific pieces I like a lot or some that didn't turn out quite right. I know I have strengths and weaknesses and I only took one or two drawing classes growing up, a couple of painting classes (a few how to draw books)... nothing more than rudimentary basics for the most part.

I have a very hard time grokking some things, esp as it pertains to spatial awareness and dimensionality (my irl coordination and proprioception isn't great, which I'm sure is related). Complicated perspective is hard, sure, but just making objects feel like objects is also difficult so I often have to spend a long time working that kind of thing out when I include stuff like turnarounds or alternate angles. My art has a strong element of harsh-edged two-dimensionality, imo, whether shaded or not, and I know that—that's not necessarily a bad thing, but there are times when it's not what I need lol

But I like the way I draw people, anyway, even if stiffness is a problem, and I enjoy drawing shoes and clothes and faces and so on, and I know my anatomy has improved a lot in the past 5 years or so which is always fun to see. Looking back on something and being like, "man that's rough," is like—a concrete sign of improvement, that's for sure. looking with new eyes.

So I am almost entirely self taught, and I tend to draw—as mentioned earlier—to communicate something specific, so while I drew more constantly as a child, as an adult I don't spend a lot of time just doodling (esp now that I'm not in school anymore lol) or anything like that... I look at references a lot more though lol

I should probably do some studies like figure drawing or take some more advanced classes, and I would like to do so at some point in the future, but for now I'm fine just doing whatever. I have a lot of hobbies (and ADHD) so sometimes it's like... help 😂

anyway!

that was long lol but hopefully helpful.

[scribl1ta]

☆Get to know me☆

Thank you so much @zaegreus for tagging me!!

last song: ANASAINO KAI ZALIZOMAI by LILA (listening to my spotify radio while typing)

favorite color: emerald green

currently watching: The Sopranos and Drag Race

currently reading: nothinggg😝I need to go buy the next Daughters of Rome book which has Hadrian and Antinous in it

last movie: I watched Juliet of the Spirits last night and it's probably the greatest movie I've ever seen just in the quality and beauty of the storytelling and production. Most of all there is a whimsy in this film many of us modern viewers could use in our lives. I highly recommend it

first ship: I had a very serious OC x canon Clone Wars ship as a middle schooler, and my first canon ship was Jango Fett x Zam Wessel

three ships: Socrates/Alcibiades, Hadrian/Antinous, Scintilla/Fortunata

current obsession: Idk if I have any new ones :(( the closest would probably be that I bought a bunch of lobby cards for Polidoro's Satyricon on ebay for my holiday gift to my self and I am really excited even though I don't really know what to do with them. I took photos to post here soon💗

relationship status: complicated (?)

last thing i googled: roman gladiator reenactment for reference images #soon‼️

tagging @illegible-scribble, @emperornero, and @headsinsand!! no pressure to do it and anybody else who sees this post is welcome to participate!

[seabreeze2022]

2023 Bahamas Cruise, Part 4, Mar. 10-12. Morgans Bluff to Normans Cay, to Sandy Cay to Lee Stocking Island.

This is, Natalie, our friend from Islamorada. She and her husband left one week before us and went directly to the Jumentos as quick as they could. She is holding a really, really large Crawfish, at least by Florida standards. But these are kind of common this far south in the Bahamas. Deep water canyons allow them to grow to this size without being caught. Q: What is the easiest job in the world? A: Bahama Minister of Tourism.

All they have to do is post some pictures like this!

Our time time in Andros was short and we are looking forward to coming back, but we need to make haste heading south. Cold fronts are still coming down, the water is 75 degrees and chilly. We were under way at 0538 weaving our way through the anchorage. When we first showed up five days earlier we were the eighth boat in the anchorage. Three were “cats”, one Hatteras yacht, and three other sloops. Four were buddy boating. One of the cats was from Tavernier, the next town up from ours.

As we left there were about ten boats, with only two cats in the bunch. One was an old trimaran. No fancy mega yachts here. No chartered catamarans. Pretty quiet group and little drama.

Windy App is my go to for wind and wave prediction. Friday was the smoothest ride across the Tougue Of The Ocean (TOTO). It would be a bit lumpy at daybreak but getting better as the day went on. We have been beat up before crossing TOTO into steep short spaced waves. See the photo below of our buddy remora boat in March of 2023 crossing TODO.

This year the crossing was smooth. We just set a straight line for Normans Cay 73 nautical miles away. The day started out a bit chilly at the helm and we made notes to bring some warmer clothes for sailing the nightshift.

Resting with foul weather gear on to stay warm, note the smooth water in the background.

This is a screen shot of our chartplotter while crossing TODO. Our boat is depicted bottom center with a red icon over it. Just to the left shows a depth of 8500 ft.. To put this in perspective, if you stacked 45 Empire State Buildings on their side. They would still not break the surface.

By the time we finished the day crossing White Bank south of New Providence the seas were glassy calm. Winds had been mostly on our nose and seldom more than 30 degrees off all day.

Beans were cooked in a pressure cooker while underway. Pressure cookers save a tremendous amount of propane fuel.

This year we bought a Hot Spot from Aliv to use in the Bahamas. It is working great. It allowed me to check the weather as we approached Normans, I changed my plans on anchoring right off the island. Winds were due to pick up after midnight from the SW. So I tucked further off shore behind a sand boar hoping to break some of the waves. This would also give us a quick departure in the morning.

We woke early with the boat pitching on the anchor in 2 ft. waves. Today would be a 32 mile sailing day on a beam reach to Sandy Cay. There are few places to hide from SW - W - NW winds in the Exumas. Sandy Cay was our favorite.

Taking turns on the helm and resting. Lots of sailboat activity on this route today. We were the “privileged vessel” with wind coming over our starboard rail. So I tacked a bit further upwind allowing the “burdened vessels” to clear any sand bores and run their course.

Nancy resting on the upwind side of the boat in the sun. By attaching her tether from the jackline in the cockpit around a winch and then back to her. This helps secure her in place as the boat heels over.

A shot from the lee rail at 6 kts.

Our anchorage was fairly calm, with only two other boats nearby. We dropped the dinghy and took a quick bath at the stern. Water is still chilly at 78.5 F. When we woke in the morning our anchor was in sight 30 feet away directly on our left. Currents and wind have that effect here. Neither is strong enough when they oppose each other, to straighten out the anchor chain. Game plan for the day is head outside for Lee Stocking Island after topping off jerry jugs in Staniel.

Using two of the diesel jerry jugs on the deck we put 8 gallons in the tank assuming we had burned 10 gallons since Andros. Nancy is using the “jiggle hose” to siphon the diesel out of the jugs. We also ran the watermaker for an hour as soon as the solar panels could keep up.

We ran the gauntlet of boats anchored between Big Majors Spot and Little Majors Spot. At least 40 boats were anchored in here hiding from the SW winds.

The fuel dock at Staniel Cay Yacht Club is first come - first serve. We were number 3 in line. It took almost 2 hours to get our 8 gallons of fuel. Boats were taking 40 minutes each. Once it was our turn we tied up, Nancy ran the trash to the trash tailer. I pumped 4 gallons in each jerry jug, then quickly walked to the office to pay. Nancy met me there. We were off the dock in 10 minutes.

The Exuma Sound is 5000 ft. deep, but was smooth all day as we motored to Adderly Cut.

Adderly Cay with its unique stone marker passing down our starboard side.

Dana helming through Adderly Cut and hooking a left behind Lee Stocking Island.

Our son, Lars, recently bought a PDQ 34 power cat. Only 106 were ever made, and we just found one tucked behind Lee Stocking Island. Named “Headway”, it was flying a “Great Loop” flag on the bow. Which is a circle with the Mississippi on the West side and the Intercostal Waterway on the East side. The Great lakes connecting them on the North, and the Gulf of Mexico on the South.

Absolutely stunning sunset, unfortunately we were a hair north and could not see a green flash due to the tip of Normans Pond Cay.

Picture perfect ending to finish our first week back in the Bahamas.

S/V Sea Breeze, Lee Stocking Island, Exuma, Bahamas.

[pragmatic-optimist]

SCREEN CAPS

thanks a bunch for the tag @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @tailoredshirt 💖

[post a screencap of your lock screen photo, a screencap of the last/current song listened to, as well as the last photo of a celebrity that you saved in your phone]

It is not 8:28pm right now, it’s just when I took the screenshot to save for this tag game lol.

I was listening to one of my many playlists while beta reading and this was the last song saved when I opened Spotify to check. It’s one of my favorite JP Cooper songs and one of the rare songs I associate with both Grace/Judd and Carlos/TK. 💕

I’m doing a full rewatch of New Girl for the endorphins and recently sent my best friend this Jake Johnson//Nick Miller scene because it’s one of our favorites, and literally me on my birthday every year (internally I am a Golden Girl). 

unsure who hasn’t done this yet, so no pressure tagging: @sunshinestrand @reyescarlos @mistmarauder @jddryder @first-kanaphan @maybe-theres-hope @scienter

[waltswhatever]

Therapy is expensive, and I'm currently in debt, so here's my regretful love letter to the digital void.

You're never going to see this, but I miss you. I'm sorry I was a terrible friend, and a worse boyfriend, and for all the ways I strung you along and played with your feelings. I didn't mean to, but I know it hurt you, badly. I was young and stupid, fumbling cruelly through our relationship. The way things ended was awful and entirely my fault. I could never apologize enough for who I was at the time and how I chose to handle things. Hell, I even hurt my current partner-to-be-husband in the process. I was the worst person I'd ever been thus far.

I would give everything just to be friends again - nothing more, just friends. I know I did the right thing in cutting things off - That I would've just hurt you more in trying to make it work, like I did before, because we never were able to be 'just' friends, but god, sometimes I hate myself for it. It was the best and worst decision I made in all of our friendship.

I know it was the right thing to do, but I pay for it these days. When it gets late, I find myself lying awake, like you did so often when we were friends. I hope you sleep easier now without me to add to that anxiety. I can't forget the parts of you that you left in my life - that I couldn't cut out to try and make me miss you less. I miss being kids together. I remember your birthday, because it's only 2 weeks before mine, and I can't watch the shows we watched without thinking of you. I see new games, shows and hobbies, and I know which ones you might've liked, before remembering I can't recommend them to you now. I remember how we thought our one mutual friend in highschool was crazy, in a pitying way, and how I still chose to talk to you even if he "disproved", because I didn't care, I wanted to talk to you. I remember meeting up at a school football game, running up to you, trying to pick you up and falling on my ass in the gravel in front of a bunch of people because I was just so excited to see you. I remember a hot summer day, hanging out at my previous apartment and throwing things we shouldn't have been throwing - soda cans and cups of old, smelly, expired dressing - off my front porch with you, and watching them explode on the ground, stupidly, and making a cursed potion in the apartment toilet. I remember falling in the frozen lake dock-waters and losing my shoes on a winter day when walking around with you. I remember that Halloween party, and having a not-so-easy talk. I remember going to that swim meet together and sitting in the hot humid seats to support our friend, a new crush of mine, and now your lover. Halloween is still my favorite holiday, but I can't forget that that's when everything started going downhill, and by March, we would stop talking. By my choice, for our mutual good. But I can't get rid of the ceramic sunflower bowl and the tiny ceramic mask you gave me, or the woven string operator symbol keychain, or the penumbra bracelet, or the polaroid photos we took of our marble hornets masks together, laid on the ground in the leaves and moss behind your grandparents house. I still have the letter you had your sibling deliver to me after I cut things off. I try not to read it so I can at least forget what you said, but even now, parts of the last few lines stick, "I'm sorry, I love you, I miss you."

Shamefully, I still know how you're doing these days. The internet makes it far too easy to check up on folks you can't talk to anymore. I wish you'd blocked me instead, so I can't look back - so something forces me to move on, instead of it having to be my choice. It's like learning not to stare at the sun, because it hurts, obviously, but now I have to learn it again as an adult - someone who should know better, who does know better - but still can't stop staring.

Still, in the end, I'm just grateful you really are happier now, that you're doing better, that you're thriving in college, that he's being good to you, that you have all of these good things to look forward to and that I'm not there to fuck it up or hurt you. That I'm not being abusive, that I'm not leaving you hanging for weeks on end, and that you're not there waiting, just letting it slide, that you're not still just sticking by my side while I'm shitty to you, and that you're not still there avoiding calling it abuse or neglect because you don't want to lose me - I miss you, so fucking much, but I am so glad that's no longer your present life, even if that means I'm only ever going to be part of your past. It's somewhat sickly comforting to see that even apart now, we're similar, still. That now, you figured out you're disabled too, that we both need mobility aids, and even then, it's somewhat bitter to see how you've changed, and what your new interests are - things "old" you probably wouldn't have liked. It's healthy for me to see that change, to try and solidify that we aren't going to reconnect.

And if you somehow saw this, I'm sorry, I know it's creepy. Part of me wonders if you still stalk my socials. But if you did see this, somehow - block my main blog, please. And, please tell him that I miss him, too, and that I'm sorry for everything I did that affected him when we were part of that friend group, that I never should've opened my big fat mouth, and that I wish we'd had more time together. I think of him just as often. Both of you live in my mind rent free.

Maybe, in another world, I would've made better choices, I wouldn't have hurt everyone I did so cruelly, I would've been a better partner to you from the very beginning, and then, maybe the four of us could've been happy together. Of course, that's in a perfect world, and that's not real - which is for the best. For all of your pain and for all of my mistakes, we've both learned from it.

I'm trying to be happy for myself, too, that even if I've lost two friends and potential loves, that I am incredibly lucky. I have a man who has stuck with me through my absolute worst - who knew me when I failed both of you, and stuck around for the even worse months after that. He is my everything, I try to treat him like a prince, give him all the love he needs, listen to him, respect him, communicate with him, take care of him when he's sick or feeling bad, and commit to him - to make up for all the times I failed to be a better person. And somehow, he loves me, too. Being with him has molded me into a better person, slowly but surely, and I am eternally grateful that he stayed for that.

We've talked, and we want to get married some day, and we have a cat we call our 'daughter.' I don't like to admit that I deserve anything good some days, because the way I treated you is one of my biggest regrets, and it comes up as a frequent tool for measuring my worth whenever it comes time to criticize myself - but whether or not I deserve how wonderful he is, I won't fail him like I did others. I will cherish him till we die, no matter how many mistakes I make, as long as he'll willingly have me.

And I genuinely hope that you're just as lucky with your lover. I miss you dude, but I'm glad we're both doing so, so much better apart.

[chickenscratchjournal]

What can a journal be?

this is two things, one is me saying an answer and hopefully the second is some other folks saying other answers.

I want to start with I have been writing in a physical journal again. I am often no at my computer and I really do hate writing on my phone. I would much rather carry around a little notebook and a pen. So, that is what I am doing. I tried doing a google doc table situation, but I found it hard to stay motivated to fill in all the boxes, sometimes I didn't have anything to say, or any energy to say what I wanted. I think handwriting some notes throughout the day is a lot less daunting than writing a summary at the end. But, for those interested this is the setup I was using.

It was an attempt at simple checking in on when, what concrete things happened, what my body was feeling and how I cared for it, my feelings that popped up throughout the day, and some final thoughts on it all. But, as you might have picked up in that description, not so simple. Also, yes, I did make the google doc page purple.

So, I am back to pen and paper. My pen of choice is currently a blue Pilot G-2 07. This is my mom's favorite pen to use and I have definitely inherited that opinion.

While prepping for therapy on Tuesday, I took some notes to bring in. I made a list of questions for myself and her, I condensed that list into general points: body, vampires, Names of People, serial dumper, over sharing, fear, french accent, shame, etc. I then took those a drew out a mind map, tying together the ways these events/ideas/people were connected to my feelings. It was really helpful to have already mapped out where I wanted to go before going into the 50mins.

I also transcribed some of my work that I had previously typed up. So, while working on my ptsd and trauma this year, I am also writing a novel about vampires. I wrote a head to toe about the vampire's body according to the lore I decided would appear in my book. I then wrote next to it a head to toe of my body. I looked at how I wrote about monsters and myself, and I didn't love the comparison.

While in the session proper, we talked about a lot of things that I won't go into detail about here. But, my therapist brought up a really important point about abuse and grief. She asked me if I was ever mad at my abuser. She noticed that every time I told her details of the abuse I framed it with my own shortcomings. Now, I have been in therapy for almost eight years, and four of those were during and after my abuse, so I knew it wasn't my fault. I had been a variety of feelings about it in the past four years, but in all my notes and all my metaphors, I never was mad at my abuser in isolation, it always came with anger at myself.

So, I took another approach, an epistolary approach! I wrote a letter to never be sent. Pen to paper, I wrote my "sorry's" and my "I don't forgive you's" and I wrote just a page, nothing too detailed or long winded, just a page of the things I would say if it wasn't an absolutely terrible idea to open communication again.

So, a journal can be a google doc table, a page of scribbled questions, a mind map, a list of metaphors, a blazon of a vampire, a letter to never be sent, and it can be a tumblr post.

I won't share photos of my journal here because their are a lot of details I don't need to share with a bunch of strangers, but despite having all these grand ideas about journaling, I have terrible, messy, big, uneven, ever changing, and smeared handwriting. And no matter what people say, or what I think in the back of my head about it. I am very proud to write down my experiences, because I am important. I am a person and even if I have bad handwriting I deserve to tell my story and to use writing to heal. If I ever write a page that isn't too personal I will definitely share it so we can all look at some journaling that isn't perfect and enjoy it together.

But, until then, thank you for reading and I hope to hear about what else a journal can be.

- El <3

[eldritchsurveys]

1229.

by joybucket

1. When was the last time you went to church? >> It's been years. 2. If you could trade hair with any one person, whose hair would you choose have, and why? >> I don't want to trade hair with anyone.

3. How many pairs of pajama pants do you own that have animals on them? >> None of my pajama/lounge pants have animals on them.

4. If you own any pajamas with animals on them, what animals are they? >> The closest to animal pjs I have are the multiple pants I have with a Stitch pattern on them. I still don't know how the fuck everyone in that movie was like "yeah, sure, this is totally just a weird dog", lmao.

5. If you wanted to get a dog that looked like you, which breed of dog would you get, and why? >> I... do not look like a dog.

6. Do you have a hard time letting go of things? >> Depends on the thing, don't it.

7. When was the last time you experienced a miracle, and what was it? .

8. When was the last time you colored in an adult coloring book? >> Years ago. I have a bunch of them, I just never use them anymore.

9. How many cellphones have you owned in your lifetime? >> Too many. 10. Name one celebrity who is the same age as you. >> Kendrick Lamar.

11. How old were you when you had your first crush? .

12. Was your first crush on a male or female? .

13. Do you think you look better with long hair or short hair? >> I prefer how I look with long hair, but I can't afford it.

14. Have you ever had to apply for disability? >> I've gone through that application process multiple times.

15. ....and if so, what happened? >> I was usually approved after a denial or two. The last time it took two years. I can't apply anymore because I'm married to a working person.

16. What is your favorite board game? .

17. Do you think you look better with curly or straight hair? .

18. What is one unpopular opinion you have? >> It makes no fucking sense to measure things like the usefulness of astrology and the existence of gods using scientific metrics and I'm sick of people doing that. 19. What is your favorite photo editing app on your phone? .

20. What is one video game you used to love to play but haven't played in years? 🎮 >> Guitar Hero. Our Xbox 360 RROD'd a couple of years ago, so I can't play anymore. Even if I could, it's likely the flimsy controllers would break after a while, and they're virtually impossible to replace now that that whole franchise and every one like it is out of production.

21. How many of your grandparents are alive currently? .

22. What is one medication you will never take again, and why? 💊 .

23. What is your favorite thing about your life right now? >> Video games.

24.....and what is your least favorite? >> Loneliness.

25. In your opinion, what are three of the most disgusting foods ever? >> Oh, I don't know. I'm not really disgusted by many foods. 26. Do you believe in God? >> The God you're talking about does not play a role in my life.

27. What are three emojis you use a lot? >> 💀😂🖤

28. Do you keep your clothes in a dresser or a closet? >> A wardrobe.

29. What is your least favorite household chore, and why? >> Cleaning a bathroom. It disgusts and repulses me beyond compare.

30. What is your favorite insect, and why? >> Oh, so many. Mantises, stick insects, fig wasps, moths, bees, I just really like bugs.

31. What is your LEAST favorite insect, and why? >> Probably the German cockroach or the bedbug. For reasons I'm sure you can figure out.

32. Do you follow any sort of special diet, and if so, what? >> I do not.

33. Have you ever had an eating disorder? >> Nothing so formal as that. I've had disordered eating habits, but not a full-blown disorder.

34. Do you consider yourself spiritual? >> I do not. That means nothing to me. I have my share of beliefs and practices and preferences, and I have a complex and multifaceted relationship with divinity.

35. Are you happy with your life right now? Why or why not? >> Eh. I mean, sometimes I am, despite The Horrors. But mostly I am intensely dissatisfied, for reasons that I feel like I hash out in surveys all the time already.