#and too many individuals to make too many absolute statements

[pencilofawesomeness]

FT x TW: NRC reaction to FT. Especially the boys

Answering both of these in one go since it's easy to go back and forth with it.

Fairy Tail would take to the NRC boys pretty quickly, I'd say. A bunch of dudes with cool magic? Completely normal! Hey, would you like to have a knock-down drag-out spar?? So what if they're the type to run grumpy. Being told no has literally never stopped a FT mage before.

Really, I think the main thing that would baffle the FT group is the fact that it's a school. Formal learning? For magic? Nonsense. Sure, you might have a mentor, but you learn that stuff on the go, actively beating stuff up; fudging around and finding out, if you will. (On that note, the entire world of Twisted Wonderland would baffle the FT cast. First technology is a thing, and that's wild, but also? A structured society? Licenses? A lack of guilds? The Internet??? Completely baffling.)

Obviously some of them would be more intrigued than others. Lucy, for instance, would probably find the clear instructions and structure very fascinating, and try her hands at different magic. Levy would be thrilled that there's regular educational learning. Droy will be glued to the greenhouse. etc, etc

Meanwhile half of NRC would be immediately on edge because what are these friendship-spouting gremlins?? That's a little too much sunshine there. But a few knock-down drag-out spars later, everyone is having a chill time more or less. Both casts have a particular predisposition towards prioritizing their own over morality, and being chaotic gremlins. (With variations and exceptions, of course.)

For instance, while Natsu is open about his friendship, he would be the one challenging everyone and either beating their asses or taking it graciously when he loses, and there's a lot of respect to be had there after that. He's not a sunshine-and-rainbows kind of guy despite being protag shaped. And then on the same coin, Gray is calculating enough to prove that he and the guild are not a pushover. Similar deal with Gajeel, for that matter.

I could go on about specific people, but there's another ask that is better suited for that, I think, and that would also take forever. The main takeaway is that this would be an utter nightmare for all adults/faculty involved.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Dan Wootton

(The video and the substack article have the same information and graphics/visuals.)

Harry has several anonymous accounts on Twitter and other social media (that he reportedly hates) to monitor how he and Meghan are being covered and talked about.

The Sussexes are fully aware of what Sussex Squad does and directly feed into it. Scobie and Bouzy are in direct contact with the Sussexes. Bouzy and Meghan's PR teams are also in direct contact with many of the Sussex Squad accounts/users. Byline Times is one of Harry's partners.

Sussex Squad has been targeting Wootton since he published Megxit. Wootton's sources include people close to Harry and people close to Sussex Squad.

Sussex Squad created KateGate and began certain rumors about William. Wootton was able to identify the account responsible for starting #WhereisKate and alleging her disappearance is because of William's temper.

Bouzy is most likely the individual responsible for Getty's flagging of KP's pictures and Kate's video statement as being edited and inauthentic.

Wootton hints that Sussex Squad somehow found out about Kate's cancer diagnosis and/or their coordinated attacks on KP (probably via the KateGate hysteria) forced Kate to announce her cancer and treatment plan before she was ready and before she had fully come to grips with it.

Sussex Squad has been spooked off Twitter and now use Discord for their collaboration.

Wootton also identifies and discusses 3 Sussex trolls:

Troll 1 is a techy in NYC who is a close Bouzy collaborator. She is one of the main accounts that have harrassed and targeted Wootton and his partner because of Wootton's critical coverage of the Sussexes. She has publicly admitted to it. She is no longer trolling because it's toxic and allegedly has quit Twitter, though not before claiming that Wootton and his people were threatening to hurt her and her dog.

Troll 2 is a business dude in Tampa. He specifically targets Camilla and has claimed that she is Meghan's main bully and has enlisted Jeremy Clarkson and Piers Morgan in her bullying campaign. He also tries to keep connecting Charles to Germany, and specifically to N*zi Germany.

Troll 3 is a British advertising executive. This individual has alleged that Camilla is responsible for Charles's cancer, because she has been poisoning him since the coronation so she can retire "young."

One of Wootton's bigger points is that if the Sussexes want to be taken seriously as advocates for internet reform/social media protections, then they must publicly disassociate from and condemn Sussex Squad's behavior and activities. He doesn't think they will.

*****************

First, I'm pleasantly surprised by this. I was expecting Wootton to be a little more sensational about his discoveries, but it's clear he's really done his homework and has really spent some time investigating this. If you're into this kind of thing, you might actually enjoy getting his updates so why not sign up for it. Use a burner email, though. You can never be too safe.

Second, I'm not really sure about using Wootton's reporting to validate some of the rumors and theories I'm tracking. On the one hand, Wootton has legit sources and a track record that makes him one of the more reliable reporters. But on the other hand, I like double-confirmation for my verification so I can be sure that it's the absolute truth.

What do y'all think?

[fauustic]

crimson staining the cement

i needed to get this out of my system before i sleep ... i have so many thoughts of a very in love but obsessed/possessive miguel who is just too jealous and overprotective but is still a sweetheart.

im still taking requests so please do feed my imagination

gender-nonconforming reader x miguel “spider-man 2099″ o’hara drabble

warnings: depictions of violence, poessiveness, overprotection in the term of obsession. jealousy. blood, biting. definitely something i haven't wrote about a lot.

Miguel knew that underneath his constant need for your affection and reassurance, he was a jealous, jealous man.

Beyond his stoic expression conveyed to anyone other than you, the moment another individual other than him made advances towards you his jaw would tense and his talons instinctively unsheathe into his palms. His mind blanks at the idea of someone invading the space that only he is allowed to occupy.

It's not like he feels as if he owns you, his anxiety and worries stem from feeling as if you are too out of reach for him, on a whole different dimension because you were human and lively, everything he was not. Miguel O'Hara, a shell of who he was once before, viewed himself as something grossly supernatural and devoid. In his mind, your companionship was a necessity for him to live. He's never felt more alive than with you, and now that he's had a taste of what he's been missing he can't seem to detach his fangs from you, his prey caught by the neck.

So when he's pushing his way through a crowd of scientific elitists and spots some prick practically hovering over you with a sneer, an absolutely primal rage floods his vision and the only thing he can think about is you and ripping the rich pervert limb from limb. And Miguel truly was contemplating the idea until your anxious scouting finally pinpointed him, in which he assumed you excused yourself with haste because of how quickly you departed from the prick before pushing through the crowd to reach his embrace.

Miguel hated settings such as this, being dragged to go to social gatherings due to his position at his job, but the only reason he dragged himself to come was because of you. You urged him to try and do the things he hated, pressed him to experience new things. And he allowed it, with the only condition that you had to be strung along with. With a smile, you always more than happily agreed.

Yet everytime the two of you arrived at a fancy getup, someone stupid enough to bother you had to interrupt your happiness. Which ultimately ruined his contentment.

Miguel was never mad at you, could never bring himself to hurt you unless it was the marks he made with loving bites and harsh kisses. 

But he was not below hurting someone to make a statement. And when someone got hurt, they had to be silenced because then they knew too much.

It never bothered Miguel much to dispose of those who hurt you, who sunk their blunt nails into your flesh and made you nauseated from their unwanted creepy flattery. He was just doing what he needed to do, protecting his responsibility. Get rid of the problem, no?

As his fists met the sickening crunch of cartilage and bone, the street lights painted his figure into a canvas filled with glistening crimson. It was a gruesome masterpiece, he thought. Like a spider trapping a fly, poking its tendrils against its food like a toy.

When his instincts overdrive his rationality, he doesn't think of himself as Miguel O'Hara anymore. He was simply the predator that crafted his genetics, the spider that altered his being.

The tear of skin as talons claw into the marred flesh of another elitist scum, who just hours before had the audacity to belittle what you wore in Miguel's earshot, calling you unsavory things such as a "whore, or slut." He had been itching all night to get his hands on the pathetic lump of a man, yet when his red-clouded gaze fell upon the mess against his crisp, standard black suit vest tailored around a white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. 

Wiping the blood splatter off his cheek with a swipe of his arm, Miguel spat on what was left of the man who viewed you, and probably many others, as an object of desire and nothing more. It made him sick.

He'd clean up before arriving to your flat, a place where he found himself most comfortable within. Without you, his own home felt frigid. A mirror of who he was, which he hated the idea of being alone in.

So when you felt your boyfriend's arms wrap around your hips in the softness of your duvet, you were blissfully unaware of just what he was doing earlier that night. His fangs sunk into your unexposed shoulder, a purr vibrating against the bite as fuzziness soothed his haunting thoughts.

It was common for him to sink his teeth into you as a form of relief after long days, your body growing used to the intrusion. 

"Love you so much, my darling." You murmured into your pillow, mind foggy with sleep as he unlatched himself from you just to bury himself in your chest. His nails scratched your back, tracing stars and circles mindlessly as he purred.

"Love you so much more, mi vida." His grip on you tightened subtly, "would do anything for you and more."

You simply giggled in response to his declaration, calling him a big teddy bear, before brushing your fingers in his soft curls. Giving him a sweet peck on his lips and one last lingering kiss to the nose, the two of you drifted to sleep with nothing on your mind but one another.

[sufferu]

So I’ve been working here and there on bits and pieces of a reaction fic of my own, and here’s a bit of a ficlet that kinda shows what I’m going for lol.

Reaction Fic Excerpt: A Stroll Through The Capital

____

“This is it! This is my chance!“

In the present moment, Subaru’s face turned scarlet.

Julius snorted loudly, quickly moving to cover his mouth with his hand as Subaru’s antics quickly escalated onscreen. “Sorry,” he apologized. “I just— forgot about that part of what you are like.”

“Shut up,” Subaru muttered.

Ferris was making no such effort to hide his mad cackling. “I didn’t forget!” he crowed. “Aw, this is gonnya be so much fun. I’m nyever letting nya live ANY of this down—“

“Shut uuup—“

Ferris was having fun teasing him. Many of the more naïve members of the audience were giggling right alongside him — but on the other side of the theater, Wilhelm had a darker look on his face.

Beside him, Rem was sporting a similar expression. “Wilhelm-san, is it?” she said quietly.

“That is correct,” Wilhelm said, not unkindly. “How may this old man be of service?”

“That boy…” she chewed her lip. “He got dragged into an entirely different world,” she clarified. “Without his knowledge and against his will. He was left entirely alone on the streets of a strange city where he did not know the language, with no understanding of the world around him, no means by which to defend or provide for himself, and with nobody willing to help a stranger like him out of the goodness of their hearts.”

“That…is correct.”

Rem didn’t say anything more. She didn’t need to: Wilhelm had already come to the same conclusion as her — as had most other individuals throughout the theater, if the looks on all of their faces was any indication. Even Ferris had a subtle air to his movements that hinted at his teasing being more of an attempt at a distraction from that horrifying revelation than a genuine source of amusement — though perhaps it was both.

Emilia was not one of those individuals. Neither were Beatrice or Garfiel, both of whom she was attempting to shush. “It’s reeally not nice to laugh,” she scolded. “Subaru didn’t even want us watching any of this, so be nice. And we promised not to make fun of him for anything embarrassing we see here, remember?”

“Subaru makes it difficult not to laugh, I suppose,” Betty giggled.

“N-Nah,” Garfiel sucked in a breath, his mouth twitching. “Princess’ got a point,” he agreed. “This is already — kinda private. My amazing self wouldn’t want anyone laughing at my memories either, no matter how embarrassing. Captain deserves — at least a little grace —“

Everyone watched as onscreen Subaru was gently shoved away from a demihuman-only bar, somehow tripping over his own two feet and falling over the railing and into the river of the Capital.

Garfiel burst out laughing all over again. This time Emilia gave up on trying to make him stop.

“Is this really how it was supposed to be?” The Subaru onscreen muttered to himself, sitting in an alley, absolutely drenched. “Wasn’t I summoned into a parallel world?!”

Anastasia watched with interest as Subaru rifled through his things, grumbling. “That’s the metia you used to find the White Whale, ain’t it?” she pointed out, eyes flashing greedily. “How did that work if it was from another world? Did ya have a bunch of mabeasts there, too?”

Subaru shifted nervously, embarrassment being taken over by something resembling unease. “N-Not exactly,” he admitted.

“Hmm…” Anastasia watched the caged Subaru for a moment longer before turning back to the screen.

“The truth is,” onscreen Subaru was saying, “I have no idea what to do next, and I still have no idea how or why I was summoned. I don’t remember stepping into a mirror or falling in a pond —“

“Wait, so.” Julius frowned. Oddly enough, he seemed to be relaxing at the sound of this statement. “Is this sort of occurrence normal, then? For castaways from beyond the Great Waterfall.”

“…N-No,” Subaru admitted, his face burning. “I kinda just — i-it was a popular book trope back home, so…” He hunched in further on himself. “I just assumed things were like that?”

“Oh.” Julius looked uncomfortable all over again, perhaps even moreso now than before. “I see.”

“— and if I’m to believe this is the otherworldly summoning format I’m used to, where is the beautiful girl who summoned me?”

Julius choked, hastily coughing into his fist. Everyone else had no such restraint. The room burst into laughter once again.

“I think I knyow what kinds of stories Subaru-kyun likes to read!” Ferris teased.

“Can it!” Subaru retorted, face almost as red as Reinhard’s hair.

“You know,” Julius attempted to soothe, the corners of his mouth twitching. “I do have a number of romance novels in my collection. If you would like to borrow—“

Subaru buried his face in his knees and screamed, the sound muffled.

[faeruy]

Agatha All Along Tarot Time! Episode 4 - If I Can't Reach You, Let My Song Teach You

Okay so we got a new one; appropriately enough the Three of Swords, triggered while they were all dealing with Teen's injury/near death. I say appropriately, because traditionally Swords is the suit associated with fire, so it makes sense that it shows up as a result of The Protection Witch/Fire's Trial on the Witch's Road. (EDIT; SO MANY LIES. Wands is fire, Swords is air. Sorry folks, don't write posts at 3am without editting)

Now onto the specifics. As with my last tarot post, I'm mostly in it as a hobby, so my interpretations may not be perfect.

Sword cards are usually pretty intense, and the Three of Swords is no exception. It centers around grief, heartbreak, sorrow, emotional pain; all things Agatha is feeling as a result of almost losing Teen, who she all but says she thinks is her son (is he? absolutely not, but I love that she thinks he could be). It tends to refer to sudden grief - and given how fast Teen went down, their sorrow would feel very unexpected and sudden indeed. Three of Swords suggests that the thing needed is a good cry (or a hug from ex-girlfriend who's the embodiment of Death), but that one shouldn't get lost in it or wallow for too long when there's more going on (like the rest of the road). First glance, it's easy to keep the association simple; Teen's dying, and they (mostly Agatha) are sad about it.

But there's a reason it's done here, and not during, say... Sharon's death. And that has to do with the Reverse meaning, which is complicating things for Agatha. Heartbreak is still a large component of Three of Swords Reversed, but instead of current, immediate pain, it talks about older hurts; the end of a relationship (like Agatha and Rio), a loss that hasn't been gotten over (like Agatha with her son). Because Agatha at this point thinks Teen is likely her lost son, seeing him dying triggered ALL the pain both old and new, and it's like the Three of Swords smacked her in the face.

The Reversed Three of Swords is ultimately hopeful though - it suggests a path of healing, forgiveness, and a release of pain tied to those old hurts. I kind of hope that that's foreshadowing for what we'll see with Agatha and the rest of the coven. The Road giving them the chance to heal, maybe.

We're already seeing that a little with Alice, who definitely has strong ties to the card because of the trauma caused by her mother's death. By the end of the episode, she's started to come to terms with what happened and the curse that haunted her family for so long. Honestly Three of Swords could just be the thesis statement of the entire episode; the only reason I focus more on how it ties to Agatha is because Teen's predicament (and Agatha's reaction to it) was the clear trigger.

That's all I got for this one, hope you enjoyed it, and If you're new to this post, I've done analysis on other Episodes, starting with the first 3, and then individually after that.

Episode 1-3 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 part 1 Episode 7 part 2

[whoistrash]

Why change matters and how Amphibia did it better than The Owl House.

"Watching and Dreaming" made me cry a lot during its premiere. I was amazed and, I'd say, dazed by it. Then I forgot about it for a while. Now I finished re-watching Amphibia for the first time since TOH ended. My hype died down, and I have some thoughts. A lot, actually.

Amphibia's ending was incredibly painful and made me sob like a baby for two whole weeks the first time I watched it. That's because it was not only beautiful and heartbreaking, but truly GOOD. Brilliant, actually. I absolutely agree with a statement that any other ending would literally be a contradiction to the whole main plot, especially Anne's arc. The girls had to learn to let go in order to grow as individuals - the thing they had the biggest problem with. Saying goodbye was the only logical option, plot-wise. It still hurt like hell, though. Separating the multidimensional, against-all-odds relationships (especially my beloved spranne. Ouch, ouch, ouch). The Owl House does no such thing - everybody stays together. They live happily ever after.

Paradoxically, I think that it's the main reason why I'd choose "The Hardest Thing" over "Watching and Dreaming" every single time. I know we shouldn't really compare them in EVERY aspect, since TOH had way more things to deal with in the final episode, but the fact that Luz got to not only stay, but to freely travel between worlds as she pleases really took the whole "growing up and finding your true self no matter what the other people do/say about you" thing out the door. Luz from season one, episode one, and Luz from the finale are not really that different. Well, she certainly became more traumatised and depressed than before, but in terms of personal growth? Nope. Luz - from the very beginning - was cheerful, open, caring and very selfless, willing to literally help every stranger she met no matter how it would affect her. She had little to no boundaries, but, well, you can't argue that she was A GOOD, SELFLESS PERSON. Now, we could say that her arc here would be learning that sometimes you should put yourself before others, that you can't save everyone, that you can't trust every person you meet. And she learns it! She fucking does! She helps Philip not knowing who he will become, and then suffers from the consequences, because she helped the wrong person. And then it's all erased, when she saves Collector's life and meets Papa Titan (or whatever we call them).

I have so much to say about this. All of TOH's "villains" (Amity, Lilith, Hunter, The Collector) that were given a redemption arc literally get turned into lifeless, edgy trauma dumpsters, that suddenly loose all of their previous character, quirks and sass (well, maybe except for Lilith, she just started to express them differently, I think, but still, it was WAY too big of a change). I won't dwell on it (since many, many fans called it out already - as they should), and will focus on something different. The only one marked as irredeemable is Belos. Good. Okay. He's irredeemable, because he's a white, christian puritan who won't listen to anyone but himself. Also a genocidal maniac. That's the lesson for Luz here. "You can't save everyone. Some people are just straight up evil". And it's very, very true. But.

From all of the "villains" I mentioned before, Belos is the one that had the most reasons to, let's say, take a dark turn. Those reasons are what makes him irredeemable - he's just too convinced he's right, because, in his mind, he has evidence to prove it. But how do we learn about this? Maybe by seeing his part of the story? Maybe by learning about his brother and Evelyn, about their relationship? It couldn't be straight up awful, since Philip literally brought his brother back to life over and over again, he wanted his brother, or at least the picture of Caleb that satisfied him the most. There was more to it than only "you betrayed me and now I will hate you forever". Do we get to see any of that? No. Instead we get an all-knowing, all-doing being that literally choose Luz as "the one" for being kind and trusting, that convinces her that Belos is, indeed, a lost cause. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Luz, the person that on the literal episode two was told that there is no such thing as a "chosen one" and that she can't always hop into action to save everybody, because, it's, well, not always possible, DOES EXACTLY THAT in the finale by taking a bullet for The Collector, the, you know, very freshly redeemed and suddenly cute and funky villain, whom Luz trusts immediately. AND SHE IS REWARDED FOR IT BY BEING MADE THE CHOSEN ONE. BY A GOD-LIKE BEING THAT CLAIMS TO BE ALL-KNOWING AND CAN DECIDE WHO IS RIGHT AND WHO IS WRONG, BECAUSE OF PERSONAL (King) REASONS. Just like, you know... Belos? The irredeemable villain? And then Luz lets go of the moral dilemmas that's been keeping her up at night for the past months, makes up her mind, defeats the bad guy, learns nothing, and gets to stay in the Boiling Isles and on Earth. With her beautifully redeemed girlfriend and friends whom she kept secrets from and lied to out of fear of being ostracised (you see the pattern here, right?) for, again, months.

I love Amphibia. I love The Owl House. But Amphibia handles it's "villains", generally wronged characters and the whole change/no change thing way better. Well, maybe besides the Core - they got a bit wasted in my opinion. But still. Sasha. Grime. Marcy. Andrias. Anne herself. They learn and change. And more importantly, they face consequences and come to understand and accept them. There's no "chosen one" here. Anne gets the proposition because she's the first one to use the music box for good in literal millenia. A fact, plain and simple (not an opinion based on personal motivations), that makes sense plot-wise, and adds so, so much to Anne's arc. Because Anne from season one, episode one wouldn't care. The one from the finale cares very damn much. And that's the biggest difference.

Saying goodbye makes the message way stronger. The more I think about it, however, the more I'm starting to be afraid that there's no The Message in The Owl House to begin with. Luz learns very little, yet ends up with everything she ever wanted. There's no power behind it. The "find the right people and choose to trust them, not everyone will be your friend" and "some things are out of your control, some people are just bad" aspect is even weaker, as proven by basically the whole season 3. I will end it by my favorite quote from Amphibia, that I think about on daily basis. Have a good day, y'all.

"Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go; but, of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you."

[ladyjayde]

Okay, I have some things to say about the first season of The Magnus Protocol... This might be a long one but I don't care ✨

SPOILERS OBVS IF YOU'RE NOT UP TO DATE

I'd like to mention beforehand that I absolutely ADORED TMA, and I'm a big fan of Jonny and Alex's work. Maybe this is just me having too high expectations for this series, but I have spoken to some of my friends who also listen to this podcast and have listened to Magnus Archives and pretty much everyone agrees. So here we go

I'm not feeling it. I didn't enjoy this season at all in all honesty. The only moments that excited me was the lore we had for the TMA characters to which, as far as we know, have nothing to do with this story. It was all filler to please the fans which is appreciated, but every statement in this season felt unimportant. Sure, we had Mr. Bonzo and a couple others that we saw again as part of Gwen's work, but they never truly felt like a threat to me. If anything, most interactions they got felt coincidental more than anything.

Which leads to my second point, there was no action in the season and it made it political and boring to me :/ I understand that's this is how TMA kinda started as well, with a lot of build up and set up for the world. BUT, at least we got SOMETHING by the end of the season. There was real danger and survival instinct activated for the characters. TMAGP has none of that... They jump in, no questions asked and no questions answered. There's no thrill, there's barely any suspense. It feels empty.

And now the characters themselves. Well, except from the very charged introduction to all of them at once that lead many fans to be confused and have difficulty identifying each of them in the first few episodes, they are pretty mundane. None of their stories truly engage with me. Don't get me wrong, I still love them, but they feel a bit boring and all too similar to each other. They get lost in the plot and don't feel like individuals. It's like they're forgetting who they are in order to feed into the plot.

Now, with all of that being said, here's what I think could've helped make this a better series.

1. Make it a longer series. As of now, there's only one episode left which, yes, is supposed to be double length, but nothing has happened yet for me to want a second season. Even if it has taken an extra year or two, I would've rather waited. So, unless something very intense happens next Thursday, I don't think S2 will be in my "Need to listen" list. Too much setup, not enough fear. Like, I'm not even worried that Sam or Celia will die in the next episode. They have so much plot armor I'm certain they'll survive.

2. Make the statements have an effect on the characters. Only Sam seems to take interest in them. But with the others just setting them aside and ignoring the stories, it makes us feel like they're unimportant as well. And it sucks, cause TMA's statements had an effect on the characters and changed their ways of thinking. Now, they're just there to be there and not much is coming out of them.

So yeah, this is MY PERSONAL OPINION and I still want to support Rusty Quill for all the beautiful podcasts they create for us, but TMAGP was not it for me. I love this fandom, I love the lore and the writing itself, but the story didn't hook me in as much as I would've liked it to.

I might regret all of this by next week when the last episode comes out, but for now, these are my thoughts.

I'll get back to you all next week to share my overall thoughts on the S1 of The Magnus Protocol.

Feel free to comment or repost with your own thoughts! I'd love to hear if I'm alone in this or if people agree

Love you all <3

[meldingintheunderdark]

Halsin, Drow and submission

Halsin has a complicated history with Lolth-Sworn drow to say the least. Three years of his youth have been stolen to satiate the selfish, dehumanizing pleasure of an influent matron and her man. Let’s not disregard Minthara who threatens the Emerald Grove alongside Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin in Act I. Although Minthara now serves the Absolute, she is a member of the ancient and powerful House Baenre of Menzoberranzan, thus first and foremost a Lolth-Sworn drow. Furthermore, drow cultists also obey her (e.g. the corpse outside of Waukeen's Rest, Narvass in the Shattered Sanctum and the man who attacked Nettie and him). Consequently, we know with certainty that, canonically, Halsin is exposed twice to the infamous cruelty of Lolth-Sworn drow through his captors, then Minthara and her minions.

Halsin also states that he has returned to the Underdark many times. I assume that he did so before his unfortunate capture, but also after his daring escape from Menzoberranzan. It isn’t too far-fetched to think he might have encountered more drow showing their typical Lolth-approved brand of malice. Despite his “misadventure”, as Halsin says himself, he couldn’t stay away from the Underdark’s arguably hottest residents. Why so?

Halsin: Astarion, I am astonished. To relish in intimacy again after such hardship is a wound many never recover from. Astarion: Are you charging for this sage advice, or is sticking your nose into my business just a hobby? Halsin: Jest all you will. I believe now in your honest heart.

This is a sweet albeit clumsy banter. Halsin seems to relate to Astarion’s traumas, however his gauche attempt to empathize and bond is not well received by the spawn. Although Halsin says “many”, he may be speaking from experience. After all, he is not one to be the center of attention, unless it is in a self-sacrificing way, thus I can hardly imagine him using I, especially with such a personal topic.

As aforementioned, Halsin has never left the Underdark once and for all. I suspect that he may have had difficulties to be intimate again after three uninterrupted years of torment and abuse at the hands of the drow couple. His frequent returns to the Underdark may have been a way to claim back what was stolen: his ability to express agency and exercise bodily autonomy, among other things. He is desired by drow because he is an exotic surface dweller, one of a kind. He can handle them now. They cannot hurt him anymore. He knows better. Yet, at the same time, he is objectified. He exposes himself regularly to lovers who are likely to share the same beliefs and ruthlessness as his captors. In order to deal with his traumas, he sought out drow, perhaps to his own detriment. He became a legend. Halsin coped as best he could. From my point of view, this banter isn't solely about one shared experience among survivors, it’s also about Halsin sympathizing with Astarion because he too had to go through a similar recovery process.

I would like to preface this paragraph with the following statement: I do not judge players who refuse to be exposed to the foursome and the dialogue the encounter unlocks. We all have our boundaries and our sensibilities. This being said, Halsin’s traumas are often met with horror and compassion, sometimes too much if it makes any sense. His past experiences are discussed in such a way that they become sacrosanct. Too holy to be used and abused with his consent. Meanwhile, because Halsin is a bear of a man and a deeply caring individual, he tends to be the top/dom in the relationship. His traumas are sanctified, yet simultaneously they’re overshadowed by his nurturing disposition and his glorious hairy body. As if he can solely be a top/dom. As if DU/Tav must only show empathy, kindness and care as a bottom/sub. Yet care is multifaceted.

This is the crux of this post and one of my main gripes with the fandom: Halsin shouldn't be a strict top/dom. In fact, I am persuaded submitting would help him a lot.

Halsin: To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall…? A harmless game, until it becomes real.

While I believe Halsin would relish any flavor of dom, I am also inclined to think he would request scenes that happened with his captors. In other words, his partner can hardly be a gentle dom only. He would willingly explore his traumas in a risk-aware and consensual environment, with the person he has come to love, trust and rely on the most.

Oftentimes, when survivors enjoy anything remotely close to their trauma(s), such as a kink, when they ask for it and like it, when the exploration and the re-enactment of their trauma(s) are positive, then the public opinion is either worried or downright judgmental. There is not a singular way to cope and heal. BDSM is too often pathologized. It can be curative. Consensual slavery to serve a harsh master, especially a drow DU/Tav, could be healing for Halsin. He hurts himself with the twins (my post), as he oft does, however it may be completely different if he submits to his lover the very same way he has submitted to his captors. This time, his consent will be supreme.

By the way, I don’t aim to enforce a specific hierarchy, however I do believe a Bhaal-made drow/drow Tav would play a unique role. Halsin is traumatized by Lolth-sworn drow.

Sszazar: You are aware you're asking me to kill a drow? Halsin: You drow relish turning on your own, if there's something to be gained. Don't pretend otherwise.

Sometimes, because of traumas, unfair expectations are placed on certain individuals because they are associated with said traumas. It isn't rational, it just happens. So, a relationship with a drow could be more intricate than with any other race while Halsin is finally taking care of himself. Thus, curative BDSM (as in re-enacting traumatizing scenes) may be even more intense with a drow partner.

Sszazar: The mighty bear is an escaped pet, then. I wonder if there is a reward for your return.

It would be a delightful line. To be honest, the [Drow] options available during the dialogue about his past demonstrate the deeper involvement of a drow DU/Tav. This intricacy is also highly visible thanks to Halsin's lack of rage or sadness when the previous option is selected. drow DU/Tav look like his captors. He's still trauma-bound to them.

Lastly, it’s okay to favor dom Halsin over sub Halsin. It’s difficult to write about topics we know nothing about or that we simply don’t like. Nevertheless, it’s unfortunate Halsin isn't more written as a sub, let alone as a sub re-enacting voluntarily past traumas to heal and to enjoy himself. I wonder if Halsin would be more often depicted as a sub and/or bottom if he looked like the average wood elf, less manly and huge.

Bears love to be dominated too.

[rarebird22]

Some insight on my personal religious beliefs and why I think some recent statements my church made are absolutely, mind-bogglingly WRONG:

(warning: there is, unfortunately, a lot of transphobic stuff in the publication my church made. I'm including my summary here for people who don't know about it, but it could possibly be triggering. if there's a better way I could be doing this, let me know. Basically they're choosing to make some dumb restrictions to trans people's participation in the church. It's unchristlike and I wanted to comment on it.)

(my comments are listed in parentheses. Everything else is quotes or summary.)

Potentially transphobic quotes start below:

“Gender is an essential characteristic in Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. The intended meaning of gender in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World" is biological sex at birth.”

The church doesn’t have an official stance on why people experience gender dysphoria.  They make a separation between experiencing dysphoria and “identifying as transgender.”

“[Transgender people]—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and Christlike love. All are children of God and have divine worth.”

(If this is true, why doesn’t this policy seem to show Christlike love and compassion?  Denying participation to some children of God doesn’t seem like what Heavenly Father would want, especially when the reason for the exclusion is an intrinsic part of someone’s identity.)

“Church leaders counsel against pursuing surgical, medical, or social transition away from one’s biological sex at birth.  Leaders advise that taking these actions will result in some Church membership restrictions.”

(I believe this policy in particular is incredibly harmful.  Many, many studies have shown the positive effect of transition on alleviating gender dysphoria, reducing symptoms of depression, and preventing suicide.  My own family members have explained how medical and social transition improved their mental health better than anything else they tried.  Just as appropriate medical care is important for the wellbeing of trans people, so too is a loving, supportive network of family and friends.  This policy sets up a false dichotomy between community support and personal authenticity, forcing trans church members to undergo incredible levels of distress as they decide between remaining as a fully participating member of the church or undergoing the changes that help them become who they truly are.)

According to the church handbook, anyone who has transitioned in any way cannot participate in saving ordinances, which are “received according to a person’s biological sex at birth.”  Exceptions can be made for baptism with the approval of the first presidency, but not for priesthood ordinances or temple recommends. The handbook also says that leaders should “address individual circumstances with sensitivity and Christlike love.”

(It is good to show Christlike love, but what freedom is there to lovingly address individual circumstances when this policy places such exclusionary limits on transgender individuals’ participation in the church?)

“Individuals who transition away from their biological sex at birth are welcome to attend sacrament meetings and participate in the Church in many other ways.”

The handbook’s recommendations for how trans people can participate include attending church meetings and activities, participating in family history work, and providing service to others.  The handbook then includes a link to a document with “guiding principles” for trans people’s participation in church.  The document lists that leaders should:  “Seek spiritual guidance; Treat individuals and their families with love and respect while teaching gospel truth; Consider the needs of the individual and other ward members; Ensure that the Church’s doctrine on gender is not undermined or misunderstood; Seek counsel [from other leaders]; and Involve the parents or guardians of minors.”

(The part about being careful not to undermine the Church’s doctrine on gender is what stands out to me and concerns me the most.  Based on this line, it seems to me like the primary purpose of all these changes is to maintain the church’s historically accepted norms.  Any search about the doctrine of gender within the church’s website will always lead to the same phrase: “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”  Apparently this phrase is the church’s doctrine about gender.  That makes me wonder, though, because the Family Proclamation is a newer document that has an ambiguous state between scriptural canon and church policy.  Perhaps that phrase has been misinterpreted due to cultural lenses.)

The Guiding Principles document states that someone’s preferred name can be noted on their church membership record.  It also places restrictions on trans individuals’ participation in the church.  It says that people should attend the meetings, activities, and camps that match their biological sex at birth.  Some exceptions can be made for meetings and activities, but not for overnight camps.  In addition, youth who have transitioned in any way aren’t allowed to stay overnight at mixed-gender activities like youth conferences.  Trans people can’t hold callings that are gender-specific or involve caring for children or youth or teaching.  They are also asked to use a single-occupant restroom, a restroom that matches their assigned sex at birth, or be the only person in a restroom.

(All of these policies are problematic to me.  The policies about overnight activities feel exclusionary and could lead to ostracization of trans youth.  The policies about gendered activities and meetings feel like they place unnecessary emphasis on differences between men and women, which makes me uncomfortable.  The restriction against teaching makes me feel especially hurt and angry, because to me this is a silencing of trans voices.  This policy says “we do not want the perspectives of trans people to be shared in our church.”  And the restroom policy is based on outdated and unfounded fears that associate trans people with predatory behavior.  That’s a sad stereotype to perpetuate.)

4. My conclusion

(I don’t think these new changes live up to the Church’s ideals of showing Christlike love to everyone and inviting all to come unto Him.  While it doesn’t say so explicitly, the handbook seems to consider transgender identity as a personal label and choice.  Every trans person I’ve met says otherwise.  Being trans is a core part of so many people’s life experience.  While I, like the church, don’t know why some people are transgender, I do believe that trans people should be treated with the same dignity and respect as anyone else.  The church’s new policies seem to do the opposite, treating trans people as “other” and restricting their ability to participate in the church.  The church has already caused so much heartbreak and despair among trans people, who understandably see past and current policies as evidence that something is wrong with them.  As representatives of Christ, it is not appropriate to send that message - directly or indirectly.  Instead, the church should be focusing on how we can reflect the true nature of Jesus Christ.  He sacrificed his life to bring redemption and salvation to every single one of God’s children.  He spent his mortal ministry interacting with those who leaders of his time considered different or unworthy.  Every aspect of His life shows his infinite love.  If the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints truly wants to live up to His example, love and inclusion for ALL of God’s children - including trans people - is essential.)

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | jan '23 blurb night

summary | the sweet camp nurse takes advantage of you during a fever spell.

pairing | soft!dark!camp nurse!ari levinson x camp counselor!reader

warnings | soft!dark!ari, non/dubcon (mayhaps ari drugs reader), fingering, forced orgasm, crying, mocking and humiliation vibes, praise, ari is so yummy to me <33333

word count | 891

requested by @onsunnyside | you’re a camp counsellor for the summer, spending the hottest months of the year by the lake and soaking up the sunshine. the kids love you, as do all of your fellow counsellors !! you’re up for anything, always ready to take the kids on a hike or participate in the activities (crafts are your favourite). you want them to look back at these days and treasure the memories !! oh but then you start feeling sick, waking up in a cold sweat and unable to fall back asleep. it’s so sudden that you brush it off like nothing, but then it happens again and again, and soon enough you’re utterly exhausted which isn’t good when you have a group of kids to keep entertained all day. the first person to notice your change in attitude is the camp nurse. admittedly you’ve got a little crush on Ari (who wouldn’t? 😌) he’s tall, handsome and beefy, and has the prettiest smile. you haven’t spoken to him much but you do enjoy staring at him when he tans on the boardwalk 😳“May I?” He holds his hand a few inches from your forehead. You nod, fighting back a shiver as his warm palm gently touches your skin. “You’re pretty warm. Why haven’t you come to see me earlier?” You shrug, ducking away from his disappointed stare. “You should focus on setting a good example, sweetheart. The kids look up to you, so you’ve gotta take care of yourself too.”

an | oh sonny 😵‍💫 no bc he would absolutely be the hottest camp nurse ever, your mind wtf 🫠🫠 so sweet, great with the kids, full of concern for you— it’s just too easy to trust him and that’s exactly what he wants 😔✋ THANKYOU for this brilliant thot bby!!

so he does really take notice so quickly; as soon as he sees you for the first time in your deteriorated state, he pulls you aside gently while motioning to your other team leader to take over in the meantime. he brings you back to the hallway by the restrooms and drinking fountains, where there's more privacy.

"everything okay, sweetheart?" though he already suspects you're burning up. "here, can i feel for a fever?" his hand is so gentle on your tender head, and you're so woozy you honestly just want to lean into the soft, comforting touch. he sees you being lulled a bit by the contact and his face softens. "c'mon, i'm taking you back to the nurse's cabin. you need some ibuprofen and a nap."

he goes and checks in with the rest of the team for a moment, making sure your position will be covered until you can return. then you start off on the walk over to the cabin. it's somewhat tucked away, on the edge of the group of buildings. "you need me to carry you, honey?" he offers several times, but you're too shy and embarrassed to accept, despite feeling like you could tip over at any moment.

the cabin's interior looks a lot like a school's nurse's office. a few cots lined up with drawable curtains on tracks placed in the ceiling. some medical gear over on a counter with a sink, along with packets of crackers and bottles of water. ari's station is a little desk over by the door. the place looks surprisingly pristine compared to the state of the rest of the facility. "don't get many visitors?" you ask as he guides you over to a bed, laying you down gently after placing a paper napkin under your head.

"nope, honestly only a few scrapes or bruises here or there. but i don't mind," he tells you as he washes his hands before grabbing a thermometer and returning to you. "open up, angel. that's it," he hums as he guides the covered wand into your mouth. a few seconds later it beeps. "a hundred and two," he tells you with a frown. "poor thing."

he grabs you a water and some meds out of a little safe in the cabinet under the counter before returning to you, "here you go, sweet girl. careful taking those down," he reminds you.

you take them and try to lay back and rest as he tells you, but pretty quickly, you concerningly start to feel worse. a lot worse. you're hot all over now, writhing not from pain, but from something else- some sort of ache, deep in your tummy, you can't quite identify. from his seat at his desk across the room, ari notices your discomfort. "honey? you okay?"

"n-no, feels worse, feels-" he looks alarmed as he rushes over to you again, closing the curtains around your cot for some privacy before sitting on the edge of the blue mattress beside you, reaching out a gentle hand to place on your forehead once again. "oh angel, it's even worse than before. what's wrong, darlin'? you're so restless..."

his hand trails down to sit on your chest, feeling your heart beat heavily at a concerning speed. humiliatingly, you've begun to rub your legs together in desperation without even thinking. ari fakes concern, but really it's all going according to plan. "sweetheart," he coos, "what's the matter? something going on down here?" he gestures with his gaze. you're in tears at this point, writhing shamelessly as you start to let out the sweetest, softest whimpers he's ever heard. "shh, pretty girl. let me see. it's okay, don't cry," his voice is so steady, so soothing as he brings his hand down to pull at your leggings, your panties coming with as brings them below your knees.

you're soaking wet, dripping down onto the cot below. his brow furrows in concern. "oh no, honey. looks like you're burnin' up down here, too, huh? here, let me take a closer look," he leans down to examine your mess, easing your legs apart a little as he parts your folds with both of his big hands. "look how swollen it is down here, poor baby. here, just let me help you, angel..."

you begin to protest as he presses two fingers into your aching cunt, jerking sensitively as his thumb finds your clit. "p-please ari, this isn't-... we can't..."

"shhh," he shushes you, quickly finding your sweet spot as his thumb rub rub rubs in tight circles over your puffy button. "this is exactly what you need, y/n. gonna feel so much better, just gotta be a good girl and cum for me"

you have no strength to fight it, to fight him, and it doesn't take you long to get there at all. he brings a hand up to brush away your tears as he murmurs softly, "there- you're close, aren't you? come on, sweet thing. let go for me."

you sob through your orgasm, your needy hole clenching down with impressive strength against ari's massive fingers. he brushes your cheek and keeps whispering sweetly to you as you cum, "good girl, such a good girl for me. there you go, angel. doesn't that feel better?"

mmmm um, i need this. i need that. please.

[ghouldtime]

Random Rant on Fanfic Pet Names

Let me say this is more me screaming into the great unknown because it's something that I KEEP seeing and it keeps irking me and causing me to cringe out of my skin. Putting it under the read more, it's just a rant mainly about the COD fandom, you're not missing anything if you don't read this

Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no hate to the writers who do this. Because you should be writing what makes YOU happy and what YOU like to write. Writing is unique and independent to each individual and just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it's inherently bad or shouldn't be done. You do you, you go on your own journey - just cause we both like hiking doesn't mean we have to take the same trail or that one path is better than the other. Judging people like that who write different than you is nasty and policing harmless writing over little things is stinky sock sniffer behavior. Just cause it's my yuck doesn't mean it is everyone's and I don't expect everyone to agree with me nor is my point meant to be an objective truth or statement. It's literally just my feelings and I need to yell about it

The COD fandom in particular I've seen is atrocious for doing this. But I abhor when they make the characters use pet names like "pet" and "little girl" or "little boy".

Especially when they've literally JUST met

Every time I see it I immediately have to exit off the fic as I gag. I swear it's instinctive at this point. You know those videos of cats who do the extremely dramatic gagging when they smell something they slightly don't like? That's me. 110%

It comes up and I look at the page like this

It just feels so so gross to me and has this icky undertone that I cannot stand. And I don't know if I'm reading into it too much or if this is just me a me thing but I swear to any gods above this keeps happening. It's done so much I have tried putting filters on specifically to avoid it

It strikes me as so odd??? Like why that out of everything. Why something emphasizing age/maturity or treating the reader like they're a possession when it's a regular ass fanfic.

It makes my skin crawl and the possessive/dismissive undertones there are NOT cute. It always reads as ignoring reader's autonomy and treating them more like an object or thing instead of a person. When they just met too or the relationship really doesn't call for it or where it would be weird, it's just shoehorned in and I reallllly really really hate it oh man.

Like if it's established and is a fic where it's like "hey, this is what this is going to be! We're doing a nsfw/bdsm-y undertones here! That's the vibe!" Then great! Fantastic! That lines up, you're expecting that. Not when it's like a fluff fic or supposed to be super causal

I see this mainly with Ghost in fan fics. For some reason, he seems to be numero uno when it comes to calling reader "pet" as a form of endearment. I'm so sorry but I can't ever see him doing that. The guy who has extensive trauma with animals from his childhood, who would take an IMMENSE amount of time forming a close bond with someone to ever get into a relationship (following the comics for his history anyhow which is what I've seen most people do, Ghost has literally seen his family killed and has been through so so much trauma it's wild and the dude has a lot going on mentally), calling someone he cares about a pet??? I just don't see it happening. I sure as shit don't think he'd do that to near strangers either. Even if you ignored that past history for him or write Ghost different -that's just a flat out weird thing to call someone you don't know and has the implications of ownership/subservience on that person's part. Doing that to someone you REALLY do not know is insane

And the little girl/boy one used in conjunction with an age gap??? No??? That's just. So many shades of ew to me and is really putting emphasis on the wrong thing there (at least how I see it and in the context of the fic. I've never seen it used appropriately unless the reader is meant to be a literal child and it's a platonic fic. Context matters). ESPECIALLY when they emphasize reader is young (as in, barely legal, just turned 18/19 or heck even 20). Which I also keep seeing too when it is used. I'm not here for that reallllly creepy vibe that sounds like something you'd eventually hear about on Dateline or in a youtube exposé video

Like y'all. Anyone being shipped with them should be a grown ass adult because THEY are all grown ass adults. For me the little is never emphasizing size when paired with a gendered term, it's emphasizing how small their age is and that's wacky. Maybe that's just a me problem but when I hear "little girl" or "little boy", I'm thinking of a kid. Because girl/boy are most commonly used for children and when you're pairing it with little there, that's what you're emphasizing and you're practically guaranteeing that image.

Be real, if a guy you JUST met who you don't find attractive sneers and says, "Be quiet, pet." or "hush little girl/boy, " you wouldn't find that hot, you'd find that creepy. It's only excused because you're attracted to the character and find them hot. I'm picking a fight, I'm throwing hands if that's dropped on me in the real world out there. Probably not because I'm too non-confrontational but you bet im cringing and giving him the most:

look I can absolutely muster.

Maybe this is just a me thing and I'm losing my marbles. Or maybe it's the fact that I've had that happen to me where a dude I barely know called me "little girl/boy" (despite me being older?? and like the same height?????) and I just died on the inside viscerally that day

For the record if someone pulls the 'pet' card, I'm living up to it. I'm puking on the carpets somewhere in the dark at 3am, I'm yelling at the mailman and doorbells, I'm doing parkour off the couch when you're trying to sleep. Why the absolute hell are you calling someone you JUST MET that when it isn't even supposed to be that kinda nsfw fic.

It's one thing if the vibe is established and the tags are there and you know what you're getting into. But I lose my mind when it's a casual fluff or meant to be romantic and then all of a sudden, BAM THERE IT IS AGAIN.

It makes it so hard to read fics because it's like roulette, I swear I'm always suddenly hit with it and there goes my interest in trying again 🥲

To anyone who read this i admire your courage and akbwdbkawd im having a moment over here

(And hopefully everyone is having a snazzy day! 💚💚💚 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to or want to join me yelling into the void)

Rant over,

Ghoul out

[writingforatwistedworld]

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, obsession, unhealthy mindset, possessiveness, spoiler for the Masquerade event (obviously)

Voicelines about you, the Overseer

Cheering to yourself you looked at the screen, confirming that you just purchased the new voicelines that you were only able to purchase during this event. To say that this event was stressful was an understatement. Heck, even the app seemed like it wanted to prevent you from earning all the materials and exchanging them for the lines of text, the App crashing and freezing whenever there was the slightest inconvenience. It was also very different from what you were used to in this game. Usually it was always light content and a few sprinkles of Angst for entertainment but this time it was like someone took the game and decided to turn it into something that could only be described with “nightmare fuel if real”. With the usual content creators of the game being unusually quiet, if not to say absolutely silent, about it there were no guides to look up, no one seemingly caring to explore the new lore presented. Tapping the screen you finally accessed the voicelines, curious about what they had to say about the individual which was at the center of said event, the Overseer

What is your opinion of the Overseer?

“There has never in history been an individual, no, simply a being so just and equal as them. One could say that they might be justice itself. Now, we are more than just aware that of course such can not be the truth. When the great calamity of blooming fire happened they were making judgments about the situation and unjust actions of the people resorting out of that also based on morale. If they were justice itself they would have purely gone the path of logic. However, like the sound of the Bell of Salvation their judgment was clear and of pure heart, understanding the resulting pain of the people, guiding the judge into the right direction. Although I am not able to understand their approval of magic. But this also only shows as well that they are indeed a kind individual.”

The view of your homeland, what is your opinion on that?

“Our view of the Overseer is already one that differences in many ways, depending on the person you ask. However, we are all able I agree that they are an advocate for justice. True justice unlike that judge that was topic of many discussions due to him accepting, well how to say this... “donations”. A stain like this upon our beautiful city like that is something everyone regrets and despises. Thus I can agree on the statement that they are indeed very deeply connected to our justice system but I would go even further with this. I would even dare to say that they are the reason why we can live in such a mostly upright and kind world like our own. But how dare those heathens of Sunset Savannah to say that they are nothing more than just a representative of equality? They are much more, they are the reason why freedom even exists!”

What would you do if you ever met them?

“That is a question I am not able to give you a definitive answer upon. All I can say with certainty is that I would most likely not be able to treat them with anything below respect. I might even make them uncomfortable... Pardon me for trailing off. But simply meeting them is an honor too great for my meek and unworthy, stained self. As I said, magic is something that is not certainly good and like a stain that needs certain treatment for it finally be eradicated. I myself am such a stain, or at least stained by it. Perfect of Ramshackle, due to you being pure unlike me I will entrust you with this secret: I highly doubt that someone like the Overseer would like someone like me but what do I expect, being someone like myself? A stain, a... parasite like me is not worth it. And yet I can not stop myself from dreaming that their bright light may reach me in the darkness. Them having the kindness and patience to look upon me as they do with those that deserve such. But I doubt I would be able to share their kindness ever again... how despicable of me...”

[seriousbrat]

Do you think Lily’s patronus makes sense as a Doe? Because when I think of Does I think docile, timid, fragile, sensitive and fearful and Lily doesn’t quite match that description. I know patronuses aren’t always 1:1 with the wizard’s personality but usually there is some overlap (Sirius is loyal and protective, James encapsulates the positive and negative qualities of a stag with his leadership and strength but also the toxic masculinity, Remus is needing of a pack and is also clever etc.). So do you think there is some part of a doe or what they symbolizes that fits with Lily’s character OR do you think her patronus changed to match James who’s already was a stag?

If you’ll allow me to ramble about my own theories here for a minute than I would like to say that I actually believe that her’s changed. I think this mostly due to JKR saying this in a interview awhile ago when someone asked if it was a coincidence that jily had matching patronuses: “No, the Patronus often mutates to take the image of the love of one's life (because they so often become the 'happy thought' that generates a Patronus).” Her statement implies (or more outright states) that there was a change of patronus for atleast one of jily, And since James was already a stag animagus at 15 we can assume that his patronus was always one (further evidence is that McGonagall’s patronus and animagus is both a cat).

I personally believe that patronuses are a manifestation of hope, the desire to go on, and the idea of what to continue living/fighting for (“The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon — hope, happiness, the desire to survive” from Lupin, and then Luna says this while helping Harry conjure one in DH “"We're all still here," she whispered, "we're still fighting. Come on, now...”). So I think given this it makes a lot of sense for Lily’s patronus to change to reflect an image of James. She is a targeted individual in her new small society that is at war and there isn’t much hope to be found anywhere, but she finds hope in James because he represents the life she wants to have that’s not connected to the war, a normal happy family. Her “happy thought” in the midst of death and destruction is family and love (also meaning this is what she wants to preserve and fight for, and it is ultimately what she dies for.)

It’s also interesting that her patrounus takes a female form, we know it’s possible for characters to have a patrounus that differ from their gender but that isn’t the case here. And while I know the doylist answer has to do with JKR’s views on femininity and gender in general, from the watsonisan perspective this could mean a couple things:

She is a doe because her hope lies within her being James’ wife and partner (like the family thing I said above. It’s not about the title or status of being a “wife” but about the normalcy, safety, intimacy and love that it represents)

She is a doe because her identity is separate enough from James where she wouldn’t mirror him but instead be her own version (possible, but less symbolically satisfying to me lol).

Or is it just something else entirely?

anyways sorry I didn’t mean for that to be that long lolll, but If you vibe with my “Lily patronus changed theory” what do you think it was before?

Also I consider you a lily expert so if you think this theory is trash or missing something lmk lmao

omg wait this is very interesting and absolutely NOT trash!! to be honest with you, I've thought about this a little myself before and never come up with a wholly conclusive answer. But personally I think it's very possible that Lily's patronus might have changed. I skirted around this issue in my fic by not having Lily produce a corporeal patronus until she was already with James lol.

Re: the doe, obviously in real life many prey animals are skittish, shy, and fearful because that's how they survive. This includes male deer too, because they will also startle easily. But I think that Lily could definitely be said to have qualities that are doe-like in a more symbolic way: grace, beauty, a gentle and caring nature, devotion to her young. I think it is an animal that fits Lily in many ways, and I think the symbolic/mythological meaning associated the animal is maybe more relevant than how the real animal behaves in the wild.

But even though I think Lily has doe-like qualities I don't think this precludes her patronus having become a doe because of James. It's more about the person she grew into, alongside James, than her identity totally changing because of her relationship. I think it still represents her, she IS the doe but she just grew into that person over time.

If Lily's patronus did change to mirror James, I REALLY like your idea that it reflects what she most cares about, that James (and what he represents to her) becomes her happiest thought and what she's fighting to survive for. Not just James, but later also Harry- whose Patronus is also eventually a stag.

As for what it might have been before (or had she never met James) it's a difficult question! I recently assigned patronuses to all the order members for ease of writing and lowkey I feel like I've run out of animals lol. I could see her as some kind of bird perhaps (I always feel like I default to giving people birds though lol) maybe a dove... or a seabird of some sort. I've always really liked the storm petrel, which is thought of as intrepid and brave and is known to fly through terrible weather, it cares for its single young, and has apparently been used as a revolutionary symbol. There's something really beautiful and dignified about them to me, they're lonely but resistant which could fit Lily's position as a Muggleborn amidst the war, if she hadn't fallen for James and joined the Order with him. So that's my first thought-- I'd be open to ideas though!

[radicalbears]

Fun fact: I've started reading Star Trek TOS books this year, and they are a TRIP.

I've read six of them so far: The Vulcan Science Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah, Doctor's Orders by Diane Duane, Strangers from the Sky by Margaret Wander Bonanno, Spock's World by Diane Duane, Sarek by A.C. Crispin, and The Motion Picture novelization by Gene Roddenberry (and also Harold Livingston and Alan Dean Foster since they wrote the screenplay)

I have some Thoughts but this may be long so opinions below the cut!

I can't pick an absolute favorite, they're all so much fun for their own reasons. Objectively, Spock's World and Sarek are the two best, with Spock's World being my favorite of the two. I love any story that takes a long look at the Vulcans- either individual characters or them as a group- and these two do a fantastic job.

The Vulcan Science Academy Murders is not objectively good- the mystery is so easily figured out, some of the book is just a little bit insane, and there's way too many exclamation points- but it is a LOT of fun. Also has a very sweet perspective of Vulcans and the way they care for eachother.

Doctor's Orders is literally just this: Kirk, thinking he'd only be gone an hour, makes McCoy acting captain. Kirk proceeds to go missing. Due to Starfleet regulations, McCoy is stuck as acting captain until Kirk or Starfleet relieves him. (It's very funny watching both McCoy and literally every bridge officer be stressed about this)

My least favorite is probably Strangers from the Sky. It's extremely convoluted- there's a plot where Kirk is having nightmares about a suppressed past memory (a memory that, is being remembered because the events of this memory were recently published as a book), and half of this book is us just. Real-time reading this past memory? Either way, the memory is of the Actual first human-Vulcan meeting- when a Vulcan ship crash landed on Earth before the official first contact. The surviving Vulcans were rescued by a couple kelp farmers, and the story surrounding them is actually really sweet. The Enterprise crew has almost nothing to do with this story, they're only there because of a time travel incident. It really just feels more like the author wanted to tell this story, but because it didn't have any known characters in it, they were forced to involve the TOS cast. Still a decent read, just Very convoluted.

Finally, the Motion Picture novelization. Boy, this really reminded me that there really is not much that happens in this movie, though somehow it's more interesting than the movie. This is not to completely dump on said movie- I don't hate it, but it certainly is my least favorite. The novelization is really cool though because it adds a LOT of context for what Spock is dealing with. We get more of his inner monologue- something I actually wish we could witness better in the movie. V'ger is a really good character foil for Spock- the way V'ger is was Spock's end goal, yet Spock realizes that V'ger nothing like how he actually wants to be.

The word T'hyla is also just. Casually invented in this novelization, with the explicit purpose of describing the relationship between Kirk and Spock. This book ALSO acknowledges rumors of Kirk and Spock dating in a footnote, and has Kirk "address" these rumors (aka make some weird statement that doesn't actually clarify anything). Beginning of this book is a Wild time for Spirk fans.

Anyway I'm waiting on my library to get in the novelization for Wrath of Khan and Search for Spock. I also just picked up the first two volumes of the Year Five comics. Idk how deep I'm gonna get into Star Trek novels, but I'm at the very least still going strong.

Oh yeah I also tend to take photos of passages/lines I enjoyed from these books, lmk if any of y'all want a deeper look into any of these books- I can post the photos of my favorite bits!

[yesterdayiwrote]

I am just flabbergasted at the choices this weekend.

They effectively make it against the rules to do any sort of political statement after Lewis’ campaign for Black Lives Matter, and fine him for his wearing of his Breonna Taylor shirt on the podium, yet happily accept a right wing dictator who staged a coup and is facing multiple court charges whilst actively campaigning.

This is often the problem within politics. "Things shouldn't be politicised" has ALWAYS been a right wing dogwhistle for 'The left are criticising us and making us look bad and we haven't got a comeback so we just shouldn't talk about it.' It has always been the play by the rich and powerful to stymie conversation when public opinion isn't going their way.

This has been the most infuriating and most depressing race weekend I've seen in a long time, and it's left me feeling entirely demotivated as a female fan of the sport. F1 sent a cease and desist for Trump's political fundraiser on their property, just to host their own one for him for free. They never had much of a soul in the first place and they sold what little they had of it left to quite literally the devil.

They want us to believe they're an open and inclusive sport, and that you're safe if you belong to any minority group, but this is the biggest knife in the back for anyone who trusted them on that. Not just Trump, but DeSantis too. Two men who actively endanger the lives of so many and make them feel scared to exist. Shame on them, shame on the teams and shame on absolutely any and all individuals who turned a blind eye and played along with it like it's no big deal. (And yes, that absolutely includes Lando)

[talokanda-forever]

Oh boy.

I intentionally avoided posting any thing about the allegations against Tenoch yesterday because I require time to process information. I needed time to give my brain a rest. This still feels a bit too soon. I will never be one to say Tenoch or anyone else would, "never do something like that." Because I have no idea. I'm hoping that the allegations aren't true. This post is my way of venting. It is in no way meant to persuade anyone else on what they should think or feel about this situation. And certainly not meant to be proof or evidence of why it happened or didn't happen. I don't know. None of us knows.

1. The framing of the dissemination of this information as "news." My biggest issue is that I've seen a lot of Twitter accounts pick up the same link that appears to be the outlet that first brought the Tweet by Maria Elena Rios to light (reforma.com). I don't know what journalistic standards this outlet follows, so I won't speculate. I did check to see if any well-established US outlets had Tweeted anything (Associated Press, Reuters, CNN, MSNBC), and as of roughly 30 min. ago they had not.

So far, all we really have are glorified Retweets, not a news story. There are A LOT of accounts with well designed pages that have all the hallmarks of looking like "official" news organizations, but they are not. It takes virtually no time or effort to Retweet something and start an avalanche. It's a trend that has bothered me for the last decade or so. Journalism requires independently verifying information you have received. It's going to multiple sources to corroborate the information. It's at the very least attempting to reach out to the involved parties to get their statements. It's reviewing public records and court filings to see what has been officially documented. And not to say that WON'T happen at some point, but it sure as hell isn't going to happen within 24 hours. It will take time and we STILL may never know the full story.

2. We should believe victims. ABSOLUTELY! In this particular instance and from this vantage point, Maria is only his accuser. It has not yet been established that she is his victim. I understand that she is a victim involving another individual, and thank goodness she survived that horific attack. However, as it pertains to Tenoch, I don't think interjecting alleged sexual assault in a Tweet focused on a different issue is enough to automatically leap to saying she was absolutely, 100%, without a doubt victimized by Tenoch. If it happened I would hope Maria would take legal action, given she was comfortable enough to make the accusation publicly under her name. Even then, she is not required to do so (which is why I say we may never know what did or didn't happen). I would imagine navigating the justice system in Mexico is no less stressful as navigating the justice system in the US. There are valid reasons for women not subjecting themselves to (potentially) years of legal struggles. But I also hope she wouldn't be so reckless as to throw out an allegation and not allow Tenoch to formally defend himself, assuming he denies these allegations. Once again, something that requires TIME.

3. To all those I have interacted with over the past few months on this site, know that I luv ya! I value our time together here. Regardless of what you've said or haven't said about this situation, that hasn't changed. I'm choosing to reserve judgement because that's how I am and how I will always be. I respect that everyone is not like me (thank God). Like many others, I will suspend posting here because, if for no other reason, I know how to read a fucking room. Let's all be kind and respectful to one another. To those folks who interact with me regularly, don't hesitate to DM me.