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midnight-shadow-cafe · 3 months ago

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Forever and Always

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, wedding day emotions, a little bit of nerves, tender moments, smut, soft Simon

Author’s Note: I’m in a wedding mood so here we are!

Summary: Your wedding day with Simon—from the first nervous moments of the morning to the intimate, quiet night just the two of you. Every glance, every touch, every whispered word solidifies what you already knew. This was forever.

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

Morning – The Bride

You woke up before the sun, staring at the ceiling, heart pounding with excitement and nerves. Today was the day.

Rolling over, you grabbed your phone. A message from Simon was waiting.

Simon💍👻: Morning, love. Hope you slept better than me. Can’t wait to see you.

A smile tugged at your lips as you test me a quick:

Can’t wait to see you too.

The morning flew by in a whirlwind of makeup brushes, hairspray, and laughter. Your bridesmaids chatted around you, but your mind kept drifting to Simon. How was he feeling? Was he just as nervous?

Soap popped his head into the room, smirking. “Damn. Riley’s gonna drop dead when he sees you.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” he said, stepping inside. “Speaking of which, are you ready for the first look?”

Your stomach flipped. The first look. That intimate moment before the ceremony, just the two of you.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “I’m ready.”

---

Morning – The Groom

Simon was pacing.

“Would you sit the hell down?” Gaz groaned from the couch, watching him with amusement. “You’re making me nervous just looking at you.”

“Can’t help it,” Simon muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Feels like my chest’s gonna explode.”

Gaz smirked. “Big, scary Ghost, nervous about his wedding day?”

Simon shot him a look. “Say that again, and I’ll—”

A knock at the door interrupted him. The photographer poked his head in. “First look’s set up.”

Simon exhaled sharply, rolling his shoulders. This was it.

Gaz clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Go get her, mate.”

---

The First Look

The secluded garden was quiet, tucked away from the noise of the wedding party. Simon stood with his back turned, hands curled into fists at his sides. His heart pounded harder than it ever had in a firefight.

The soft sound of footsteps on the grass made him freeze. He could feel you behind him.

“Simon?” your voice was gentle, uncertain.

He turned.

And the world stopped.

You were breathtaking. The dress, the way the sunlight kissed your skin, the way your eyes shimmered with emotion. He felt the air punch out of his lungs.

You bit your lip. “Say something.”

Simon took a slow step forward, then another, his throat tight. He reached for your hands, holding them between his own, calloused and warm. His jaw clenched, and when he finally spoke, his voice was rough, thick with emotion.

“You’re beautiful.”

Your lips trembled. “You like it?”

“Love it,” he murmured. “Love you.”

A breath of relief left you, and you threw your arms around his neck. He caught you easily, holding you close, his nose buried in your hair. “I missed you,” you whispered.

“Missed you too,” he admitted, voice quiet. He pulled back slightly, eyes searching yours. “You sure about this?”

You cupped his face. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

His fingers traced the back of your hand, where your wedding band would soon sit. He exhaled slowly, nodding.

“Alright then,” he murmured. “Let’s get married.”

---

The Ceremony & Reception

Everything after that felt like a blur. The ceremony, the vows—the moment he slipped the ring onto your finger and heard you say *I do.*

When it was time for the first dance, Simon held you close, swaying gently. “You tired yet?” you teased.

He smirked, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Never when it comes to you.”

Later, as the night ended and you stood in your hotel room, hair undone and feet aching, he watched you with a softness he rarely showed.

“You’re staring,” you teased.

“Can’t help it,” he murmured. “You’re mine now.”

You smiled, stepping into his arms. “Always.”

---

Night – Just the Two of You

By the time you reached your hotel room, exhaustion had begun to set in.

Simon kicked off his shoes, watching as you undid the pins in your hair, letting the strands fall freely around your shoulders. You looked at him through the mirror, eyes soft.

“Can’t believe we’re finally married,” you murmured.

He stepped behind you, hands finding your waist. “Believe it,” he said, voice low.

You turned in his arms, wrapping yours around his neck. “So, how does it feel? Being my husband?”

A rare smile tugged at his lips. “Feels like the best thing I’ve ever done.”

Your breath hitched slightly, eyes searching his. You reached up, fingers tracing along his jaw. “I love you, Simon.”

Something flickered in his eyes—something raw, something deep. He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. “I love you too,” he murmured. “More than you’ll ever know.”

You kissed him, slow and lingering, as if savoring the moment.

And when he picked you up and carried you to bed, pressing soft kisses along your neck, your jaw—when he whispered your name like a prayer against your skin—you knew.

This was forever.

Always.

Simon's eyes followed the path of your fingers, a shiver running down his spine at your gentle touch. He caught your hand, bringing it to his lips to press a soft kiss to your palm. His other hand slid up your back, fingers splaying across your shoulder blades as he held you close. "And how about you, love? How does it feel to be Mrs. Riley?" His voice was a low rumble, eyes darkening as they roamed your face.

You bit your lip, a small smile playing on the corners of your mouth. "It feels...right." You admitted softly, leaning into him further. "Like this...like us...it just feels right."

Simon's thumb brushed over your bottom lip, tracing the soft curve. "Aye, it does," he murmured in agreement, head dipping down to rest his forehead against yours. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, could smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with something uniquely him. It made your heart race, made your skin flush with anticipation.

His hands began to wander, gliding over the smooth fabric of your dress, mapping out the curves of your body. You shivered under his touch, a soft gasp escaping your lips as his fingers found the zipper of your gown. He paused, looking at you questioningly, silently seeking permission.

You nodded, a breathless yes falling from your mouth. His lips curved into a smirk before he slowly began to tug down the zipper, his knuckles grazing against your skin. The dress slipped off your shoulders, pooling around your feet. He took in the sight of you, clad in only your underwear, eyes burning with a hunger that made your toes curl.

"Beautiful," he breathed, calloused hands coming up to cup your breasts, thumbs teasing over the lace of your bra. You arched into his touch, a moan catching in your throat. His lips found your neck, pressing hot kisses along the column of your throat, teeth grazing your pulse point.

You reached up, fingers tangling in his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. A low growl rumbled in his chest, the sound vibrating through you, making your core clench with need. One hand slid down your stomach, fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your panties. He found you already wet, arousal coating his fingers as he stroked your slit.

"Fuck," he breathed against your skin, fingers circling your clit, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves. You writhed against him, hips rolling into his touch, chasing the pleasure he was giving you. He slipped a finger inside, then two, pumping them in and out of your tight heat. His palm pressed against your clit, rubbing firm circles, stoking the fire building low in your belly.

"Simon," you gasped, head falling back against his shoulder, breasts heaving with each ragged breath. He captured your mouth in a searing kiss, swallowing your moans, tongue delving deep to taste you. He added a third finger, thrusting harder, faster, the obscene sound of your arousal filling the room. You could feel the tension coiling tighter, your walls beginning to flutter around his fingers.

He broke the kiss, hand moving from your sex to hook around your thigh, lifting your leg up to wrap around his waist. The new angle allowed him to drive deeper, his fingers kissing your cervix with each thrust. The other hand pushed your bra up and out of the way, calloused palm cupping and kneading the soft mound of your breast. He pinched your nipple hard, rolling the sensitive peak between his fingers, sending jolts of pleasure-pain straight to your core.

"Come for me, love," he commanded, voice rough and gravely, eyes dark and intense as they bore into your own. "Let me feel you come apart on my fingers."

His words, his touch, the intensity in his gaze, it was too much. The coil snapped, your orgasm crashing over you, back arching, a silent scream tearing from your throat as ecstasy consumed you. He groaned, fingers pumping faster, drawing out your pleasure, working you through the aftershocks until you collapsed against him, boneless and spent.

Simon took a step back, hands moving to the collar of his shirt. He undid the buttons one by one, revealing the hard planes of his chest, the smattering of hair, the scars that mapped out his history. You watched him through hooded eyes, heart racing as more and more of his skin was bared to you.

He shrugged off the shirt, letting it fall to the floor, and your breath caught in your throat. The sight of him, all lean muscle and strength, never failed to take your breath away. He reached for his belt next, unbuckling it with deft fingers before shimmying out of his pants. In a matter of moments, he was left in nothing but his boxers, the bulge of his arousal tenting the fabric obscenely.

Your tongue darted out to wet your suddenly dry lips as your gaze drifted over his body, taking in every inch of exposed skin. He was a work of art, all hard lines and soft curves, a beautiful canvas of battle scars and old tattoos. You itched to run your fingers over every mark, to trace the path of each one and learn its story.

Simon watched you watching him, a smirk playing on his lips as he stepped closer, looming over you. He reached out, calloused fingers skimming down your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Your skin tingled, nerve endings sparking to life under his touch. You shivered, a breathless little laugh escaping you as he tugged you up and against him.

You could feel the heat radiating off his body, could feel the hard length of him pressed against your stomach. Your core clenched, arousal already beginning to pool between your thighs. He slid a hand up your back, fingers splaying across your shoulder blades as he held you close, the other hand cupping the back of your neck and tilting your head back.

"Tell me what you want," he murmured, voice low and rough, dark eyes boring into your own. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, tracing the soft curve. "Tell me what you need."

You swallowed hard, a flicker of nervousness sparking through you at the intensity in his gaze. But there was no fear, only anticipation and desire. You reached up, fingers curling around his wrist, holding him close.

"I want you," you whispered, voice breathy and soft. "I need you, Simon."

Something flashed in his eyes, a hunger, a desperation that made your heart race. "Aye," he growled, voice dropping an octave. "You're mine now. And I'm going to make damn sure you never forget it."

Then his mouth was on yours, kissing you with a ferocity that stole your breath away. He backed you towards the bed, the back of your knees hitting the mattress, and you tumbled down onto the sheets, pulling him with you. He settled between your thighs, the hard length of him nestling against your core, separated only by the thin barrier of his boxers and your panties.

You could feel every inch of him, could feel the weight of him pressing you down into the mattress. It made you feel small, made you feel fragile, made you feel cherished and protected and desired all at the same time. You wrapped your legs around his waist, ankles locking at the small of his back, holding him close.

His hand slid down your side, fingers skimming over the curve of your breast, the dip of your waist, the flare of your hip. He cupped your ass, squeezing the supple flesh, before hooking his fingers in the sides of your panties and tugging them down your legs. You lifted your hips, helping him remove the last barrier between your bodies.

He tossed the scrap of lace aside, his gaze dropping to your naked sex. His eyes darkened, pupils blown wide with desire as he took in the sight of you, laid out bare and wanting beneath him. "Fuck," he breathed, voice rough and low. "You're fucking perfect."

You blushed, a sweet ache building in your chest at the reverence in his voice. He thought you were perfect. You couldn't imagine how he could think that when he was the one who was perfect, the one who was everything you could ever want or need.

His hand slid up your inner thigh, fingers brushing against your slit, teasing through the slick folds. You gasped, back arching off the bed, hips rolling into his touch. He circled your clit, stroking the sensitive bud, before slipping a finger inside your tight heat.

"Always so fucking tight for me," he murmured, pumping his finger in and out of you, crooking it just right to hit that spot deep inside that made stars explode behind your eyelids. "Always so fucking perfect."

You could only moan in response, head thrown back, fingers scrabbling at his shoulders as he worked a second finger inside you, then a third. He thrust faster, harder, the obscene sound of your arousal filling the room, the wet squelch of his fingers pumping in and out of your pussy echoing off the walls.

His thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, stoking the fire building low in your belly, the tension coiling tighter and tighter with each pass. You could feel it, the pleasure cresting, your orgasm building, your walls beginning to flutter and clench around his invading fingers.

"That's it, love," he encouraged, voice a low rumble, hot breath fanning over the side of your neck. "Come for me. Let me feel you come apart on my fingers."

He looked down at you, a fierce pride shining in his eyes, a satisfied smirk curling his lips. "That's my girl," he murmured, leaning down to capture your mouth in a searing kiss. "My beautiful, perfect girl."

You kissed him back just as fiercely, tangling your fingers in his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. He hissed, breaking the kiss to nip at your bottom lip, soothing the sting with a soft suck. You could taste the metal of his piercing on your tongue, cold and hard and delicious.

His hand slid between your bodies, calloused fingers curling around his hard length, giving it a firm stroke. You could feel him, hot and heavy and thick, the tip already leaking with arousal. He notched himself at your entrance, the broad head parting your slick folds, stretching you around him.

"Are you ready for me, love?" he asked, voice a low rumble, dark eyes searching yours. "Ready to take all of me?"

You nodded, a flicker of nervousness sparking through you at the size of him, at the thought of taking him inside you. But there was no fear, only anticipation and desire. You wanted this, wanted him, more than anything.

"I'm ready," you whispered, voice breathy and soft. "Please, Simon...please fuck me."

Something flashed in his eyes, a hunger, a desperation that made your heart race. "As you wish," he growled, voice dropping an octave.

Then he pushed forward, the thick head of his cock pushing past your entrance, stretching you wide around him. You gasped, back arching off the bed, fingers digging into his shoulders as he slowly, inexorably, pushed deeper and deeper inside you.

He paused when he was fully seated, hips flush against yours, the base of his cock kissing your cervix. You could feel every thick inch of him pulsing inside you, could feel the way your walls fluttered and clenched around him, trying to adjust to the sudden intrusion.

"Fuck, you feel good," he groaned, jaw clenched, eyes screwed shut as he fought for control. "So fucking tight and hot and perfect..."

You could only moan in response, head thrown back, nails digging into his shoulders as you tried to adjust to the stretch of him, the delicious ache of being so full. He started to move, hips pulling back until just the tip remained inside you, before slamming forward, burying himself to the hilt.

You cried out, a sharp cry of pleasure-pain, back arching as he set a brutal pace, hips slapping against yours with each powerful thrust. The bed creaked and groaned beneath you, the headboard slamming against the wall with each drive of his hips. You could only hold on for dear life, fingers scrabbling at his back, legs locking around his waist as he fucked into you with wild abandon.

He leaned down, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss, swallowing your moans, his tongue delving deep to taste you. One hand slid between your bodies, calloused fingers finding your clit, rubbing tight circles over the sensitive bud. You keened into his mouth, hips rolling to meet his thrusts, chasing the pleasure he was giving you.

"Come on, love," he encouraged, voice a low rumble against your lips. "Come on my cock. I want to feel you come apart around me."

His words, his touch, the intensity in his gaze, it was too much. The coil snapped, your orgasm crashing over you, back arching, a silent scream tearing from your throat as ecstasy consumed you. He groaned, hips slamming forward one last time before burying himself deep, his cock pulsing as he found his own release.

He collapsed against you, hips still twitching, breath coming in harsh pants against your neck. You could feel the hot splash of his seed painting your insides, could feel the way his cock jerked and throbbed inside you with each spurt. It made you feel claimed, made you feel owned, made you feel like you truly were his.

He lifted his head, looking down at you with a satisfied smirk, eyes dark and heavy-lidded. "You okay, love?" he asked, voice a low rumble.

You could only nod, a small smile playing on your kiss-swollen lips. "More than okay," you murmured. "That was...incredible."

His thumb brushed over your cheek, a tender caress that made your heart ache in the best way. "Aye, it was," he agreed, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. "You're incredible."

He rolled to the side, pulling you with him, arm wrapping around your waist to hold you close. You tangled your legs with his, head pillowed on his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. His fingers slid up and down your back, a soothing caress that made you want to purr.

"You're not so bad yourself," you teased, tilting your head up to smile at him. "For a grumpy bastard."

He barked out a laugh, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Cheeky bitch," he muttered, but there was no heat behind the words. If anything, there was a softness to his tone, a tenderness that made your heart flutter.

You snuggled closer, fingers tracing over the scar on his chest, the one that looked like a bullet had grazed his heart. "I love you," you whispered, voice soft and full of feeling. "I love you so much."

His arm tightened around you, holding you possessively close. "I love you too," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "More than anything."

You knew, in that moment, that you were exactly where you were meant to be. In his arms, in his bed, his wife. You were home.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

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sevcasejay1chicago · 1 year ago

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Can’t spell panic without pain- Matt, Kelly, Jay

Authors note: This has been a fic that I’ve been working on the past couple of weeks. I was gonna post last week, but I wasn’t happy with it. Hopefully you guys enjoy!

Summary: The boys make sure to take care of their girl when she is panicked and in pain.

Warnings: possible inaccurate medical jargon, anxiety attack, crying, mentions ovary cysts.

—————————

You’ve been having a rough couple of days. More like rough couple of weeks, but it seemed to be getting worse the longer the weekend progressed into the week. Now, on a Wednesday afternoon, you are sitting in your car outside of the house you share with Matt, Kelly, and Jay. Matt and Kelly have today and tomorrow off. Jay got home a bit before you, having left before you when he assumed you had already left or were close behind. Since it’s been long enough for Jay to worry, your phone starts to ring over the speakers in your car. You almost miss it with the ringing in your ears, but you connect the call just before it’s sent to voicemail.

“Hey baby. I figured you’d be home by now.” Jay says casually as Matt and Kelly are heard cooking and talking softly in the background.

“I-I am.” You force out, voice strained with more unleashed tears, you gasp in a breath as you hear Jay curse and tell the others something is wrong.

“Hang on baby.” Jay says, disconnecting the call as he practically jumps down the stairs and sprints to your car with Kelly behind him.

They see the tears as soon as you’re in view. Kelly slides into your passenger seat as Jay opens your door and crouches to your level. They quickly look at each other as they slowly peel your fingers away from the steering wheel.

“Shhhhh. We gotcha now. We gotcha baby.” Kelly whispers, wiping at your tears and testing your skin for a temperature, which he thinks you have. It’s hard to tell if your warm because you are actually running a fever or if it’s because you are upset.

Jay is checking your pulse as Kelly attempts to soothe you. He knows that Matt is getting the first aid kit out of their master bathroom, which is upstairs and in the very back of the house, so he’s not worried about being completely accurate, but he wants to gauge it before he moves you. Currently, your heart rate is pretty high, but steady.

“Come on sweet girl. Let’s get you inside.” Jay says, helping Kelly unbuckle you before he hoists you into his arms. “What’s goin on? Hmm?” Jay whispers to you, but as he suspected, he doesn’t get a verbal response as you whimper like you are in pain.

Kelly pushed the push start button to turn off your car before he grabs your phone and keys, deciding that he will grab your bags later on so that he has time to jog to the door and open it for Jay. Matt is already getting the med bag open, placing a few things on the coffee table. He’s just tossing the necessary equipment onto the coffee table to check your vitals, not knowing what the issue is, but he already has his suspicions.

You have a cyst on your right ovary that has been bothering you for a week and a half now. The boys tried to talk you into staying home, especially after a scary er visit earlier in the week, but you were stubborn and refused to rest when a big case was brought to the intelligence unit.

Jay sat down, cradling you in his arms. He made sure that one arm was accessible for Matt, but he also wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. Kelly was stood not too far off, waiting for something to do and giving Matt space to check you over.

Matt checked your blood pressure and stuck a pulse ox on your finger as Jay whispered softly to you, encouraging you to breath. Jay’s sweet nothings were barely audible to your other two lovers, but they also were barely making it past the still constant ringing in your ears.

“Tachy. BP is a bit high and oxygen is low.” Matt said out loud, quickly running the thermometer over your forehead. “100.3.” Matt read off, tossing everything back in the medical bag.

Jay did his best to calm you down as Kelly retrieved a wash cloth and some fever reducers. Matt sat in your line of sight, lightly rubbing the tears from your face with the pad of his thumbs. Both men were lightly shushing you and whispering sweet nothings in an attempt to calm you down. Eventually, it seemed like you started to respond to what was happening and reached one shaking hand to lay on Jay’s chest. Jay immediately started breathing at a deeper, more even, pace that was easy for you to follow.

“Baby. You gotta tell us what hurts.” Matt whispered, locking eyes with you. “We can’t help if we don’t know whats wrong sweetheart.”

You sucked in a deep breath, curing further into yourself and Jay’s lap. “I-I’m hurting and I c-can’t stop crying.” You whimpered. “It f-feels like a p-panic attack.”

Kelly came back in and immediately knew the problem. “The cyst must be rupturing.” Kelly stated, laying the wash cloth over your neck and offering you a Gatorade with your medicine. “This should help the pain baby girl.”

Matt sighed, laying a gentle hand on your knee. “Okay. Well, we know the drill. Your gonna feel really crappy and emotional for a couple days. However, we will do everything we can to help you feel better, okay baby?” Matt said, taking the hand you offered.

You nodded, leaning back into Jay. “It’s okay to cry sweet girl, but you gotta breath. Okay? Just follow me.” Jay encouraged, kissing the crown of your head as you tried to focus. “You are definitely having a panic attack, but we gotcha now. Your not alone baby.” Jay encourages, kissing your temple.

You started humming, not liking the feeling of your stomach shaking and your lips buzzing. You had gotten yourself worked up so much that the anxiety made you feel like a live wire. You knew that your boys were attempting to ground you, but it was like it was impossible to turn it all off.

“What can we do?” Kelly asked, sitting on the coffee table to get in your line of sight without standing over you. He knows that you get anxious when people stand over you on a good day, so it probably wasn’t advisable today.

“Think you wanna try a popsicle?” Jay asked, nudging your cheek with his nose. “I can feel you shaking, but you aren’t cold, are you baby?”

You shook your head no, not offering a verbal response.

“I need a verbal response sweet girl.” Kelly said, leaning forward expectantly. He knew the more he got you talking, the more likely you were starting to come back down to earth.

“Not cold. Popsicle please.” You whispered, not wanting to use full sentences, but knowing that would get your point across.

Kelly nodded before getting up and jogging into the kitchen for your popsicle. He was back in no time, having cut the plastic open and wrapped the popsicle in a paper towel. “Here princess. It’s a pedialyte popsicle. It should help hydrate you to flush all those toxins out.” Kelly explained, watching as you quickly calmed down as the cold from the popsicle helped focus your brain on the taste and sensation.

“Good girl. We gotcha. It’ll be over before you know it.” Matt praised, laying your favorite blanket in your lap to help calm you further. He knew it would be a long couple of days, but once you calmed down, they could start working on taking the proper steps to ensure a quick recovery.

Tag list:

@treehouse-mouse

@shadowmeadowsworld

@sorry-i-spaced

@zephyrmonkey

@allisonargent144

@amie134

@lane-rodgers-barnes

@pensfan5871

@dumb-fawkin-bitch

@marvel-and-chicago-fan

@daggersquadphantom

@stellakiddsblog

@100yroldteenagers

@senjoritanana

@celtic-shadow-wolf

@starset21

@mrspeacem1nusone

#one chicago #one chicago x reader #kelly severide #matt casey #jay halstead #matt casey x reader #fluff #jay halstead x reader #comfort #kelly severide x reader

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hawkinsoutcasts · 2 months ago

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Hawkins Outcasts-Rambling About Ideas

During my shitty day at work today, I spent a lot of time thinking about my Hawkins Outcasts AU and what exactly do I want to do with it. When I first came up with the concept, I was gonna make it just a little different from canon, like "Stranger Things But Modded" or whatever. However I've been having ideas for other possibilities.

This is going to get long so I'm just gonna put this under the cut:

Here's my idea: What if Stranger Things was a Monster Of The Week type of series with overarching plots? Have it be structured like a Disney or Nickelodeon kind of show but have it be way more adult and scary?

Basically, I wanna write this AU as if Stranger Things was like the Mandalorian or Samurai Jack. I wanna keep all of the elements from the show that I love, (like the themes, core characteristics, etc.) but throw other stuff into the pot and give it another flavor. Make Supernatural/Psychological Horror and character development the main focus.

My biggest problem with the series is that it tends to feel super bloated with its plotlines and loses focus a lot, so with my AU I wanna contain it and give each season a clear focus.

And I wanna make it clear; I'm not trying to say "Ooh I could write a better story than the Duffers UwU," I am NOT a professional writer and I'm literally taking a story that's not mine and just changing the format and ideas around.

Another big thing for me is that I want The Party to be more of a focal point, specifically the core four. I want Will, Mike, Dustin and Lucas to go through hell together; I want their friendship tested, I want them to hate each other, I want them to love each other, I want them to have an unbreakable bond that literally destroys Vecna like it's God damn My Little Pony. Their bond is so strong that it manifests into physical scars.

I have this idea in my head where, idk sometime during Hawkins Outcasts' Season 5, the boys are on the hunt for Vecna and end up on a crossroad on the old railroad tracks. They get into a fight and have this big emotional scene where each of them spills their guts out, and Will has a big moment where he tells them how important they are to him, and how they're the reason he's alive. They exchange "I love yous" and hug and cry like little bitches. A moment that repairs their friendship.

And it's not just the boys that go on a journey, but everyone else does. Eleven, Max, Steve, etc. literally everyone associated with the boys go through trials and tribulations; they start out broken and come out intact.

This AU is ambitious as fuck and I've thought about it way way too much, but honestly since I've become more comfortable with the idea of putting my own spins on properties I like, it's helped me stay more invested in things. I guess too, Stranger Things is something I love dearly, and this is my weird way of expressing it.

Also, ngl, I feel like this AU would be better suited for a comic rather than a fanfic? I'm more of a visual person, and I feel like the horror elements and emotional stuff would be more impactful if you could actually see it, rather than read about it. So I will think about this possibility, but I am not going to promise to actually do this, in case I decide I don't want to. I'm trying to be better about dedicating my time to projects but it's an uphill battle. :')

ANWAY I hope you enjoyed this rambling of whatever the hell this is, in case you read it all the way through. All I can think about right now is Stranger Things and my own comic Wandering Cryptids, and nothing else lol so I might as well just go with the flow.

#sunny's thoughts #stranger things #hawkins outcasts #byler #stranger things au

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lazyneonrabbitt · 2 years ago

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Rabbitt's not-so-monstrous oxtober fics.

Not-so-spooky movie night.

Gallzatto x reader

A little halloween shopping here, a little trick-or-treating there. Add some movies, what a perfect day!

A/N: This one's a day early because I'm too busy getting married tomorrow and I dislike queueing posts! Enjoy!!

🎃 🐻 🍬 🎬 🎃

October meant spooky decorations and pumpkin everything.

Little costumes for the girls that you let them pick themselves when you took them shopping.

Every free day you had led to more decorations put up in the house, from little skeleton candle holders to ghost lamps and bat window stickers.

“Mommy I wanna have!” Lily came running up to you with a plush Jack Skellington almost half her size. “Pweeaase?”

Her big, pleading eyes and good behavior today made you give in, telling Rose to go find something as well which had both of the girls run off to the large bin at the end of the aisle that you slowly made your way to, grabbing all kinds of knick knacks and scary themed candies.

You found your girls digging through the plushies like savages, holding up every single one to inspect, giving them a little test huggie with mumbles of disagreement untill Rose emerged from almost toppling over into the bin with a little black and white guy that she cuddled close, happily running to you and dumping it in your hand. “Dis one!”

Upon closer inspection, she had found a Ghostface plush that you almost wanted to get for yourself as well. You caved and took a quick look through the bin yourself and snagged a flannel wearing fuzzy werewolf and sent the kids on their way to the costume rack on a quest for something nice that didn’t give their dads a heart attack.

“Batty!”

You made your way to where the voice came from and saw Lily holding a soft black onesie with wings attached to the arms. You let out a chuckle at her excitement and took it from her hands. “This is cute! But lets look for one in your size, okay?” A quick nod was her answer before zooming off the rack she got it from. “More here!”

Going through the rack to find the right size you swapped the too big one she grabbed for a fitting size before making your way over to your other daughter who was going back and forth between three different sections.

“Hey Rosy, found something?”

She shook her head, not being able to choose. Showing you her three options you she shared her love for each one with a pouty look. You checked each one and quickly removing one from the list already because her size wasn’t available, and one needed a mask so you double checked with her if she wanted to wear that the whole time and no, after some thinking she decided that she didn’t.

So here you were, a Chucky costume in hand as you walked back to your overfilled cart and mentally cursing yourself out for coming here in the first place.

The contents ended up taking up almost the whole checkout belt and cost you over double of what you had wanted to spend so you kindly declined the offered receipt. With everything put in bags you loaded it in the car and strapped in the girls before heading back home and praying you were gonna be able to get all of the bags up in one go because your two little helpers were too busy carrying their plushies.

Bags in hand you elbowed the elevator button and instructed the girls to press the right floor button for you and you made it to your home without falling over or any bags breaking.

Today was halloween and your girls had been nagging since early in the morning to go put on their costumes for trick or treating. Which you were blamed for by their dads. “Your halloween obsession is rubbing off on them.” Stated Lip, who was snacking on some jelly eyeballs as he walked into the living room. “He’s right sweetheart.” Carmen chimed in. “They’ve been begging me to make ‘spooky foods’ all week.” You watched as he dried his hands on he purple and orange pumpkin patterned towel that had sneakily replaced the normal kitchen towels and would not be swapped back out after this month. You sighed in defeat and mumbled on your way to the coffee maker. “Can’t believe I’m dating such party poopers.”

“Yeah! Party poopers!” “Daddies is meanies.”

Your laughter was heard over the loud coffee maker noise, not believing how they heard specifically that part of your conversation. The glares you were given would have sent anyone else running, but you knew your boys loved you no matter what so you shrugged them off as you snickered behind your large coffee mug.

“Spooky foods?” Carmen gaze was pulled from you by a tug on his pant leg. A soft laugh left him a he promised there would be spooky foods later today. He didn’t enjoy trick or treating at all and opted to stay in and prepare for your little movie night.

With the kids all dresses up and Lip’s face painted in stitches and fake blood you went underwhelmingly dressed in reds, dark makeup and a set on horns on your head. You two stayed back on the sidewalk as your kids went to the doors to collect all the candy and dump it in your bag when heir little pumpkin buckets were full. From time to time you’d snap pictures and sent them to Carmy with little loving notes. Once you were on your way back you shot Carmy a text to get the mood set at home and get the movie ready so the girls could throw themselves onto the large lounge chairs and snack on all the spooky foods they could eat.

There were brain cupcakes you had gotten from Marcus, fruity drinks with skull ice cubes, spider licorice candies and white chocolate ghosts. Finger hotdogs and a bowl of skeleton crisps and decorated cookies the girls made with Carmy yesterday were set out on the table over a spiderwebbed tableclcoth.

You placed the candy bags down and moved the kids to the couch, hyping hem up for the movie you had picked for them. Something Halloween themed but not scary, but not childish enough to bore your boys.

With everyone settled you grabbed the remote and pressed play, after a moment hearing the all too familiar into tune to the Nightmare before Christmas begin paying. Lip and Carmen spent more time watching their daughters react to the movie than watching it themselves, enjoying how Lily would excitingly cheer as soon as Jack appeared on the screen and Rose would excitedly swing to the songs.

After the movie was done all three parents made an effort to help the girls to bed. It took promises of candy for breakfast to make them cooperate but after some time they were in bed and asleep.

With most of the snack gone or packed away for tomorrow Lip spoke up. “So, now what?”

“Oh my god fryer snacks and a movie, please.” You dramatically clung to the freezer before grabbing a box of snacks and going your way to prepare them.

From the kitchen counter you could hear your boys talking.

“We missed you earlier.” Lip casually confessing these little things still made your heart melt right out of your chest. You stood there, listening to them praising each other on their respective tasks today while the snacks warmed up.

“So, have you boys picked a move yet?” With food in hand you returned to the couch and wiggled yourself in between them. “Nah, you’re the halloween lover here, so you pick.” And some agreeing nods were your sign to open op Prime video and dig through your library to find the right movie to watch and settling for the original Scream.

“You find this way too hot, dear.” Lip commented on your lovey dovey smile whenever Ghostface stabbed someone. Carmen stared a your blushing self and jokingly suggested to have the kids stay with Sugar for a weekend so they can indulge in your murder fantasies, but seeing your reaction he almost thought he had to talk to Lip and start planning something.

Lip couldn’t keep the grin off his face while Carmy went on and on about how it was obvious this was something you would enjoy and it being perfect since there was two of them, just like this Ghostface.

A hand had snuck around your waist, a whisper in your ear sending shivers down your spine. “Would you like that, baby? Us pretending to come and kill you?” You were beet red and almost screamed as fingers dug into your side. A hand quickly coming up to silence you as they began their attack. Your back was against Carmy’s chest with your arms held behind your back and shoulders pulled up to your ears to protect our neck. Legs quickly being grabbed and locked in their grasp as your sides were being tortured with tickles. One of Carmy’s hands wiggling his way underneath your jaw to get to your neck as you tried to escape, causing you to scoot to the edge of the seat and dropping yourself off. Your back hitting the carpet while your lower legs were still stuck underneath Lip’s. One hand raised up in defeat while to other covered your mouth to quiet down your laughs looking up at the two boys who were shaking their heads at you. “Baby, we really love you,” Carmen started before Lip finished the sentence for him. “but you’re a fucking idiot.”

Shrugging you agreed with them. “At least I’m you guys’ idiot.”

#sometimes i write #gallzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #lip gallagher #lip gallagher x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto imagine #lip gallagher imagine

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hobiebrownbrowser · 2 years ago

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🔞Introduction🔞

❤️My name is citrus, I'm 20 and I write mostly SMUT. I have no problem writing SFW but NSFW is mostly my thing. ❤️

Rules and things about me:

🔞I indeed take requests! I've done quite a lot of them already ❤️ Mostly SMUT so. 18+ DNI if your a Minor!🔞

The thing that usually clouds my mind is 'Hobie'❤️. I've had an odd obsession over him for a few weeks now and it's extremely not healthy.

🔞If you are a minor stay clear of my page! I tried to be nice and let you all come through but NO. THAT DEEMED TO MUCH TO ASK. I don't need my posts getting reported any longer. I'm tired of it.🔞

I really only made this account for Hobie Brown but I do others too. It's not common though. ❌❤️ Do not ask me to do a character that is depicted to be a minor you will be ❌BLOCKED.❌

I WILL NOT do anything I am uncomfortable with, let's say for example, selfscest, Extreme violence, Extreme sexual assault, Etc. You get the get go of what I'm saying. ❤️

I LOVE punk. You will never take that away from me even if I died. If I did I'd say I completely fucked myself out. Probably why Hobie was my number 1 reason on here

I got this introduction idea from @quintessencewrites I realized I never really introduced myself.

╰──Hobie Brown smut

Mating Season↓

Summary: Y/N didn't come to the HQ today. Of course Hobie was gonna worry. She'd never miss a day to come see her favorite guitarist. It wasn't like her to disappear on him.

Attention Seeker ↓

Summary: A rainy day on a Friday night.

Aftercare↓

Summary: Hobie secretly loved the way you'd take care of him. Massages a constant get go everytime you're together. ❤️

Waiting Room Quickie↓

Summary: Before a concert Hobie wants to do just more than admire his favorite lady.

Shower sex↓

Summary: You both decided to try something new for a change.

Ride me↓

Summary: Hobie wanted you to ride him.

Sing for me↓

Summary: It was the first time Hobie heard you sing, He wanted to hear more.

Take it slow↓

Summary: After a long discussion, Y/N finally felt the courage to trust Hobie with everything.

Let me take care of you↓

Summary: After a long night all Hobie wanted was you.

Date night↓

Summary: Hobie takes you out on a date, A small skating ring tucked away in the crevice of a tall building inside a pub.

Different Flavors↓

Summary: A small ice cream shop opened a few blocks away.

Trapped in my mind↓

Summary: A certain punk at a sex party caught your eyes. What a shameful excuse.

Don't get caught↓

Summary: Havin' Secretive sex in Miguel's office with Hobie was hella risky.

Make me↓

Summery: Hobie acted like a beat, so Y/N put him in his place.

A Devil In Disguise ↓

Incubus Hobie Brown x FEM!Reader. Do I have to explain?

Such A Tease↓

Summary: Y/N would always tease Hobie until he'd had enough.

Touch me↓

Summary: You wanted to feel more than just Hobie's delightful caresses.

Overstimulation↓

Summary: I mean...It's mild overstimulation.

I'm not jealous↓

Summary: You test Hobie's jealousy and paid the consequences.

Such a brat

Hobie Brown x Bratty F!Reader!🔞 summary → Reader being a bratty lil slut for Hobie❤️

My Princess

Hobie Brown x M!Reader! →🔞 Summary: Hobie picked up on a new nickname.🔞

Be Yourself

Hobie Brown x FTM Reader! → 🔞summary: You hadn't gotten your bottom surgery yet, but all Hobie wanted to do was show you how much he loves you for who you are. 🔞

╰──╮Miguel O'Hara Smut:

Breed me↓

Summary: Miguel had a long double shift tonight.

Midnight remedy ↓

Summary: Miguel fucks you in his favorite position.

Just one bite↓

Summary: The night was just as beautiful as you.

Trust Me↓

Summary: You were pulled into a random dimension, A big buff scary guy taking you to a private interrogation room for "Questioning"

Angst List

Cheating Hobie Brown x FEMReader

Summary: A spider has bit you, The spider was slowly absorbing your life, In a last feeble attempt to survive you harbor your life in a heartless android body.

Part 1 & Part 2

Part 3 & Part 4

Part 5 (END)

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bots-and-cons · 18 hours ago

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I don't really expect anyone to read this tbh, I just wanted to vent lol

Well fuck… I'm obsessing over KPDH, like hard. It's giving me brain worms and like an actual, mild headache. By brain worms I mean it feels like there's literally something moving in my brain every time I listen to the music from the movie or look at fanart, etc. At the same time it's kinda this weird euphoric feeling, so I don't really want to stop either. I don't know if I even could, because I have such an obsession going on right now. I got like this with Bleach a couple of months back too, and I think I just have to get this out of my system. Idk how I'm gonna do that but we'll see. Maybe I need to write a Saja Boys fic or something lol. I'm basically listening to the songs on repeat, "Your Idol" is probably the one I listen to the most, because that fic I read yesterday has not left my brain. For fucks sake this obsession bullshit makes my life really hard sometimes, because it makes it hard for me to do anything else. For most of today I've been looking at fanart, collecting them in my private fanart folder and looking at them. I've also been listening to the songs from the movie, and tomorrow I'm probably watching it for the third time. I think I'm gonna be rereading the fic too, because it was just delicious lol

Aside from the whole obsession/weird euphoria thing from KPDH, I'm honestly feeling kinda miserable. It might just be the hormones, or the autistic burnout, or the fact that I'm kinda on new meds since the injection started. The injection has the same active pharmacological substance as the pills, aka aripiprazole, which is mainly used in treating schizophrenia. Which I don't actually have a diagnosis for. I have a lot of the symptoms, have had for years and the next time I see my psych nurse I'm gonna ask if I could get tested for schizoaffective disorder/schizophrenia, because I would like a name for whatever the fuck is going on, so I can adapt better.

I found the old pics of my diary again and there's a ton of psychosis symptoms from back in 2018 and 2019 and from then on. They were scattered among the daily notes. Things like, "cameras in inanimate objects" "hearing my name being called in movies, songs, etc." "I can predict the future" and a whole lot more. I've also got a lot of mentions of sensory issues, seeing and hearing things. I remember seeing angels at that night church thing I went to. I remember having that one "guy" following me for months before I finally had a big psychotic break. He wasn't really scary, he was mostly just angry at me, or that's what I remember thinking, at least. I found a description of him in the pics of my old diary too. I have a lot of clarity about my past delusions and stuff, but I can't really point at anything that's going on right now.

I talked to my mom a few weeks back about how I don't know what to tell anyone about my current psychotic symptoms, because I don't know what they are. The hallucinations are probably the easiest to spot at least sometimes. Mostly because I only really have one reoccurring one at the moment. I see cats in peripheral vision. Going under my bed, turning the corner away from me or walking past me. I don't have a cat, so I know it's not real when I'm at my apartment. When I'm at my mom it's more difficult, because they have cats. It causes me some panic when I'm downstairs and see a cat, because they live upstairs and only come downstairs when the dog is outside. The dog will try to eat them, hence the panic when I see them downstairs when the dog is inside. I don't really know any other symptoms, because no one else has pointed them out to me. I know I do some weird stuff but it doesn't seem that out of the ordinary, maybe kinda childish, but not psychotic, at least in my opinion. I have way too much self-awareness sometimes, and I have a lot of insight into what's going on in my head, but it's hard when I can't really trust what I think sometimes.

Idk man, my feelings are a fucking mess, and my hormones being all wacky isn't helping either. I wanna cry for a couple of hours, or listen to more KPDH music and have brain worms and that weird euphoria. Idk, I'm feeling kinda unstable and it's the weekend, so I can't even call/text the temp psych nurse that's my contact while my usual psych nurse is on summer vacation. That has to wait until Monday I guess. I just hope nothing happens during the weekend. These euphoria/mania/obsession episodes usually happen before a bigger crash. A few months ago it was me finally admitting the autistic burnout and pretty much crashing out for a while. Now I feel like it might be a bigger psychotic break or a bad depressive episode or something. I hope it's nothing, but I feel like it is, maybe it's just paranoia or some shit, but we'll see…

#ony speaks #rant post #psychosis

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drgemmadawnnightingale · 3 months ago

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The Sushi Incident, Part 1

4/6/94

Another Thursday meant another after school study group, and Dr. Gemma Dawn Nightingale was more than happy to come supervise. The study group was lead by Bubba to help kids catch up on their homework and studies before tests, and was supervised by a Ms. Delight. Dr. Gemma had to supervise the toys, but was more than happy to help any of the kids with their work if asked. Today, she was helping one of the older kids with their English homework, while Bubba helped another with their math. Ms. Delight was making sure everyone stayed focused, but often asked if anyone needed help understanding something.

One of the kids at the study table, Isaac, stared at his cursive work sheet with a huge frown. He was bored, and this was hard. He would rather be doing anything else than drawing his writing, especially when lots of kids were outside of the school and playing for the rest of the day. He had only been here a couple of months, and had long decided that school and homework were his least favorite parts of living in the underground orphanage. That, and not getting as much TV time as he used to have. The seven year old put down his pencil and stared longingly at the TV monitor perched on the dolly in the corner. It was turned off, sadly, and more than anything he wished he could watch his favorite shows right now.

Dr. Gemma noticed, and once her kid was working diligently, she gently got Isaac's attention.

"I think your homework is on the table, and not the corner, Isaac."

"I wanna watch TV." the boy admitted, not looking at her. Dr. Gemma just kept smiling.

"Well, if you finish your cursive, you can watch TV in the TV room, okay? You're almost done."

This wasn't enough for Isaac. There was one show he missed so much.

"I wanna watch the Simpsons."

Most of the table shared some confused looks, never hearing of this show before. The looks then turned to Dr. Gemma, who still sat smiling and expectantly, for the answer.

"The Simpsons are banned in Playcare." she gently explained.

"Why?"

"Because it's a grown-up show, and we have so many other great shows and movies for you all to watch, like the Smiling Critters or Poppy's World. We can watch those instead, but you have to finish your work first."

It was too late now, Isaac started reminiscing with his elbows on the table.

"I remember an episode where Homer ate a fish dish and he was gonna die."

"Oh my!" Ms. Delight half gasped. Dr. Gemma nodded wisely, remembering the episode from a long time ago.

"Mm-hm, stuff like that isn't good for young kids. What a scary thing to see."

"So, I never ate fish again." Isaac concluded, looking down at his paper with hatred. He couldn't even talk about his favorite show down here?!

Gemma tried to ease his fishy fears, at least.

"Not all fish is like that. What Homer ate is called pufferfish sushi, which can be dangerous to eat. The good news is that it's super rare, so you can't buy it from just anywhere and not everyone makes it. You're completely safe to eat other fish."

"What's a pufferfish?" Isaac asked.

"What's sushi?" Bubba asked at the same time.

Ms. Delight quietly sighed, seeing the whole group was distracted.

"Why don't we take a break from homework and learn something new? Bubba, can you look up sushi in the encyclopedias for me?"

"Yes, Ms. Delight!"

"And Isaac, why don't you get the animal picture encyclopedia and find a pufferfish? I can help."

"Okay!"

"And do we still have that food around the world picture book?" Dr. Gemma asked Ms. Delight. The teacher toy gave a nod.

"We sure do! It's in the world section."

All three books were soon gathered and brought to the homework table. With Ms. Delight's help, Isaac is the first to find what was asked.

"That's a pufferfish?!" He points and laughs at the picture. "It looks so funny!"

"That's right." Ms. Delight nods. "Look at that, when it gets mad or threatened, it inflates it's body like a balloon and gets so big that nothing can eat it. Some have spikes, too! Oh, that does not look pleasant to try and eat."

"But we can?" Now Isaac was getting very confused. He was interrupted by Bubba finding what he was asked.

"Here it is!" He then started to read off of the page. "Sushi: A Japanese dish prepared with vinegared rice, usually with salt and sugar, plus a variety of ingredients, such as vegetables, and any meat, but most commonly seafood (often raw but can be cooked)."

"Raw? Yuck!" Isaac scoffed.

"Double yuck." One of the older kids agreed.

However, Dr. Gemma holds up the food picture book to show off the extensive sushi section.

"But look at how beautiful it looks, and there's so many different kids of sushi! I had no idea." She looks through the book again and frowns. "But I don't see anything about pufferfish..."

Isaac looks over the animal encyclopedia again to see other names the pufferfish is known as.

"There's a kind called... fugu?" That sounded familiar. So Bubba went to look for that in the encyclopedia instead.

"Oh, that's another kind of pufferfish, and this one is poisonous!" He showed the picture to Isaac, who immediately recoiled from it.

"Eww, it's ugly!"

"It says here the poison is called... te-tro-do-toxin?" Bubba puzzled. Dr. Gemma looked over his shoulder and beamed.

"You got it. Very good!"

Bubba continued.

"-That's present in eighty percent of the fish's body. Only a licensed and skilled chef can make fugu sushi, and it's regulated by Japanese law."

"Goodness!" Ms. Delight gasped, looking at the picture again. "Who was so determined to eat this fish that they had to find that twenty percent?!"

"Humans are such strange creatures, aren't we?" Dr. Gemma chuckled.

"But see! See!" Isaac triumphantly cried. "A fish dish that can kill you!"

"And you're right." Ms. Delight nodded. "But it's such a rare dish that hardly anyone makes it. We certainly don't have anyone at Playtime Co that can. And," she motioned to the food encyclopedia pictures, "look at all this other sushi that's perfectly safe to eat. So you don't have to worry about eating fish, Isaac, you're completely safe."

Dr. Gemma looked over the pictures in thought. Playtime Co didn't serve sushi at all, so she wondered something before speaking.

"You know, I've never had sushi before. And I've seen a place in town that serves it. So, tomorrow I'm going to try it. And who knows, maybe we can get some catering for New Foods Day."

"That's a great idea!" The older kid spoke up. "I wanna try some too!"

"Me too!" Bubba cheered.

"Me three!" Ms. Delight agreed.

Isaac looked worried at the prospect.

"But what about the pufferfish sushi?"

"I promise I won't have any of that." Dr. Gemma chuckled. "Would you like to try non-pufferfish sushi, Isaac?"

The little boy couldn't help but be skeptical as he nodded.

"Okay. But you have to promise not to die."

"Deal!" Dr. Gemma chirped. "Now, why don't we get back to homework? The sooner it gets done, the sooner we can go play."

#short story #drgemmappt #this is canon and will appear in Surviving Playtime but what the hell

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phantalgia · 27 days ago

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My Body On The "Occupation Force" In LA

I’m not a position to speak. I’m just recovering from a major health episode. But I probably won’t fully recover if I don’t get my thoughts and feelings out here. Before I address LA. I need to address my body which does incorporate the news. And I think I will conclude this with a return back to my body.

For those who haven't seen my posts. I suffer from Long COVID, and a surgery that has left my body an autonomic mess. I have congenital heart disease, and neurodivergent. Which has lead me to believe that part of my autonomic dysfunction has always been there because of how I navigated the world growing up. I always feel disgusted with my body like a discomfort gross sharp tingling sensation with a foggy malaise. It's made me dysphoric to say the least.

I already have a bunch working against me. Hypersensitivity and an ever moving mind. I don’t think the internet helps. Especially this 2020s era internet. But neither does capitalism, the political climate, and the COVID endemic that we ignore. I've learned through this all that we really have to focus on our bodies. To listen and respond accordingly. I fail in some ways, and I succeed in others. I’m just in process of figuring it out. Developing new habits, dropping bad habits.

Last monday was big for me, I got out for the first time (first time as in to start making real life connections, conquering social anxiety and identity insecurity). But last Monday also took out everything from me. From that point till today I've been stuck with a malaise. And I have to be ready again on Monday to do this all over again. I’m not giving up.

So, to see the news. To see where things are going. I live in SoCal. I grew up in LA. It's my home. To see it under threat by another layered occupation force (which technically has been occupied indigenous land regardless) scares me. I never would have thought that my home would be the start of what I fear (but we can't confirm of course) of a real civil war.

Donald Trump's ICE raids have gotten more intense, more militarized, and this feels intentional on LA. Trump hates Hollywood. He recently decided to withdraw funding to California, with Gavin Newsom floating withholding federal taxes. Domestic escalation.

We've seen on the streets in LA people's families being ripped apart from the ICE raids, they have quotas to meet after all. It's heartbreaking and the citizen response is only correct and while I agree with many on the left that we need a coherent revolutionary agenda, the response is needed too. I think we do stand to lose many centrists and liberals support for these actions. But what else are people supposed to do when a secret police is taking away your community? So maybe it will lead to something coherent down the line. We only respond with the stimuli and I'll explain why soon.

My fears are that what's happening in Gaza is merely an evil test bed for military and AI technology to be deployed on immigrants and then "domestic citizens".

Having sat with all of this. All of this energy, rage and fear. And most of all this sense of powerlessness and grief that I’m not doing more has boiled inside my own body. I paced and paced with rage, fear, and powerlessness. Ruminating and wishing I had people with me by my side. I’m privledged to be where I’m at. That my Dad can be there in these scary moments. Because after dinner, too much dinner, the anxiety, the malaise, the pacing, the rage. I sat at my computer and felt my chest violently skip a few beats. It hit me so damn hard like a god damn train.

Feeling faint, limbs going cold, palms and soles of my feet bursting in sweat. The shaking. The fear I’m gonna die, or fear of having a heart attack. Ive had these before but not one like this in a while. I grabbed my pills, xannax, heart meds, paper bag. Trying to listen to what mode or modes my body was trying to get into. Sympathetic? Or parasympathetic.

Wrong type of breath and I risk my heart doing it again. My adrenaline is surging. I cant decide if I should get up potentially making my blood drop to the floor forcing my heart to work harder and having an even harder time adjusting. So I stay on the floor, my Dad makes me tea to help me digest better.

My body at that point keeps going in and out of states of calm and relaxed and nervous. When I breathe into a bag to recycle CO2, I fight against my sympathetic nervous as my gag reflex goes off. Then I really start seeing stars. My eyelids are twitching. All I can do is keep doing my best to remain calm. Breathe into this bag. Let the pills do their thing. Digest. It's gotten better. But I’m sensative still.

I had a few moments in which my heart went off but more managable. I had one instance where my head felt like I just got knocked around. Or a whiplash.

It's all a god damn fight just within my body to find homeostasis. And I can make analogies to the collective nervous system which is in fight or flight. We're trying hard to respond accordingly. And from what I've learned dealing with my nervous system troubles is to listen and make peace to redirect.

If my body says its time to panic I let it do so in the way it knows how. But I also leave room to invite calm. And we become in dialouge till we can find balance once again.

I have faith in the collective nervous system to do the same. Our anger and rage is right. Our response is correct. We cant fight our nature. But we can also invite for that careful awareness to bring about something more beautiful. And when we channel. From there we can be the builders of that homeiostasis. Of balance to the collective nervous system.

We were never built for the modern world. And already this morning. Before the news, I was lamenting at how much the interney disrupts my sense of self. Short form content, drama, and constant stress. It's killing us. And what comes out are incoherent ideologies much like the Palm Springs bomber.

This isnt to say we cant find any homeostasis. We will. Civilization is a recent human invention compared to the size of human history before that. We're still working out the kinks of it. And we need to give ourselves some credit. Despite the violence and exploitation of today, we are making progress. We just need to remain stubborn and rebellious.

Right now...despite the news...despite my guilt, grief, fears, and health. I must rest. I cant be fired up like this all the time otherwise I’m of no use. With what little energy I do have.

I wish the LA resistance the best against the police state.

#diary #journal #diary entry #journal entry #personal journal #personal vent #long covid #chronic illness #anarchism #usa news #los angeles #autonomic dysfunction #dysautonomia #libertarian socialism #socialism #communism #anarcho communism #queer pride

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ask-bright-labs · 8 months ago

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Episode 5: Nightmare.

Paintbrushes POV:

When that Clover guy left the lights went dim. So i guess that means we have to go to sleep? This is like a prison, not like i would know anything about being in prison of course. I hate how far away Lightbulbs room is. Fan and Test tube get to stay together, same with Marsh and Apple. Hopefully i get to talk to her in the morning, i should get some sleep. I walked over to my bed that looked like concrete. I sat on it expecting it to be hard but to my surprise it was kind of bouncy. Maybe this won't be so bad. My eye lids slowly shut as i rapped the thin blanket around my body.

Later..

My eyes slowly opened again, but it was dark. It's not morning yet.. I try to sit up but. But i can't move my body. I can't move at all. Is this a dream? What's- The door to my room opened slowly. I can't see who it is, they're holding something. I keep trying to move as the dark figure gets closer and closer to me. What do they have. What is IT. It's.. It's a syringe. Not too big it won't kill me unless whatever is inside is something dangerous. The figure is getting closer with that damn needle, not a fan of needles. Is this thing really gonna inject.. whatever that is in me? Is this even real. No it can't be i've gotta be dreaming. This place is pretty scary, maybe this is just a nightmare. He's getting closer. You know if i just close my eyes he'll go away, right? Ugh. Ok i'll do it. I close my eyes and wait. He's gone.. He's- OW. Ow.. He.. My body is shaking. What just happened. He pricked me, He injected that shit into me. What do i- My eyes shut again.

The morning.

I awake with a massive headache.. That nightmare was ass. Its bright.. must be morning. I sit up while rubbing my forehead. I hear someone stomping near my door. "GOODMORNING." Clover burst into the room yelling. "Ugh.. be quiet already." I responded while getting up and walking out of the room shoving Clover. "Rude." Clover said. I walked into to the main room which was way brighter, no wonder my head hurts.

Apples POV:

That Clover guy sure is loud they seem pretty chill. Wheres Marshy? She must still be in her room. I should wake her up instead of Clover they might scare her.. "Hey Clover dude.. Could i maybe wake up Marsh?" I asked. "Hmmmmmmm. Nope. That's my job, not for silly ol' you!" Clover answered with a smile. "Oh but she'll get-" "WAKE UP" Clover interrupted yelling into marshmallows room. "AHH!!!!" Marshmallow Screamed. She basically woke everyone else up. "HOLY- What the hell was THAT for." Oooo Marshys mad.. "Its morning little miss. I had to wake you up." Marsh stood up and stared down Clover, Then she sighed and walked past him. "Sorry Marsh i.. i tried to tell him." I said. "Its alright Apple.. I'm just feeling really uneasy today.." Marshmallow said quietly.

Couple minutes later, everyone is now awake.

"Alright everyone. Since its everyones first day. We will all be taking.. PICTURES!" Clover said with glee. "So were taking mugshots.. great." Paintbrush said under their breath, but i could clearly hear. "Oh wow marshy! This seems like fun right?" I said while tugging on marshmallow. But no response. I look to my side where she is standing and shes just staring blankly at Clover with fear in her eyes. "uh.. ok." I said. I'm really getting worried now. Maybe she's just tired. Test tube was excited and Fan was being supportive. Lightbulb and Paintbrush were just standing next to each other awkwardly.. I thought those two were closer? They both look tired, Paintbrush more than Lightbulb. Lightbulbs always in a good mood no matter what though. Oh well. I hope Marshmallow feels better after these photos.

(no art today i typed this all on the computer lol, also wish it could be longer sad face)

#feel free to ask anything!#ii au #fanfic #inanimate insanity #ii lightbulb #fan ii #ii paintbrush #test tube ii #apple ii #marshmallow ii

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daybringersol · 2 years ago

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i saw my psychiatrist today and since she hasnt seen me in months and in her eyes im just suddenly wayy happier for no reason and asking her to stop my meds (yk, cuz thats what i was seeing her for), she started thinking i was bipolar and in the manic phase of it?? we did tests and stuff and im very much not, but like it was kinda funny to me that she just saw such a big difference in my mental health that she thought i was manic for a sec. she kept asking me if i felt high since i stopped one of my meds by myself (strattera, its got basically no withdrawals so thats why i could just do it myself), which was pretty weird to me cuz like no, i feel less high, since im taking less drugs. i think she was trying to see if i was manic but like i have a lot of negative experiences with people thinking im a drug addict for… not taking drugs. make it make sense. i’d probably be fine with it if drug addicts werent constantly picked on by authorities, but like for now, its kinda scary to go through life knowing cops and security personnel will start interrogating me just for existing outside unmedicated.

anyways, i am going to be gradually stopping my meds starting next saturday so if i get more unhinged thats why ahah. it shouldnt be too bad, im mostly gonna have more issues fonctioning in my daily life, so its not something youll see much of probably.

i know it kinda sounds bad, but like for context, i havent been unmedicated since i was 9 years old, so i dont have any idea how i am without it. its kinda hard to form a stable identity when you dont even know whats the drugs and whats you, you know ? im stopping for 2 months, to let everything stabilize itself, so i can see what im working with, and then im going back to my meds, if they still feel needed.

#neuropunk #madpunk #medication #psychpunk #psych critical #solsthoughts

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keeyomiuno · 2 months ago

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The Glow Up of an Entrepreneur

Hey hey hey, Keyomi’s! How’s everyone feeling today?

So this week’s lecture had me in my future CEO era, because we talked all about launching ideas, finding the path to sustainable growth, and what it’s really like to live that entrepreneur life. And let me just say… it’s not just about selling stuff, beh—it’s about creating something with meaning and keeping it alive.

First off, idea launching sounds super exciting (and a little scary, not gonna lie). You know that moment when you finally decide to take your idea out of your head and into the real world? That’s where everything begins. But what I learned is that it’s not just about having a brilliant idea—it’s about testing it, improving it, and making sure people actually need it. You can’t just assume your product or service will pop off—you have to do the work.

Then came the juicy part: sustainable growth. Honestly, this one changed the game for me. Growth isn’t just about gaining more customers or making more money fast. It’s about growing in a way that lasts. The key? Consistency, value, and innovation. Like, don’t just follow trends—build something that solves a real problem and keeps evolving with your audience.

And now, drumroll please… the real tea: life as an entrepreneur. Y’all, it’s not all cute desk setups and morning coffee aesthetic posts. It’s hard work, lots of risks, sleepless nights, and tons of decisions to make. But it’s also full of purpose and passion. The speaker reminded us that entrepreneurship isn’t just a job—it’s a lifestyle. You have to be resilient, adaptable, and always ready to learn.

One thing that stuck with me? The importance of staying grounded. No matter how big your business grows, always go back to why you started. That’s what fuels sustainable success.

So to wrap it up—launching your idea is brave, growing it is a journey, and living as an entrepreneur is a beautiful struggle. But if you’re passionate and ready to put in the work? Winnable yan, beh!

#keyomi #slayed

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seitmai · 1 year ago

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Bradley's alarm really pissed him off on Thursday morning.

Me, literally me every morning with my alarm

"I can't be late today, Gorgeous. Not if I'm going to try my best to make a field trip for your class happen."Your eyes lit up and you squeaked softly. "You're right. Get the fuck out of here."

She is kicking him out the dor herself haha

He would never get enough of your pretty face. He thought about it while he fought traffic going into San Diego and while crossing the bay bridge toward North Island. This drive sucked, but he'd do it every morning if it meant he got to spend the night in your bed with you. He also wanted to ask you to sleep over at his place during the week so you could test out traffic heading north.

Fighting throw traffic is a real testament of love

Bradley cleared his throat and tried to make sure he sounded as relaxed as possible. "There was a brief pause before Maverick asked, "Are you sleeping with a teacher?"

Maverick was like: Say no more I know what's going on, I myself have done this before hahaha

His pupils were wide as he shook his head. "Could you imagine a world in which I didn't want you to give me a blowjob? Because I definitely couldn't." You laughed and parted your lips. "Then let me say thank you, Lieutenant Bradshaw."

Thank you blowjob? Thank you blowjob. 😌

When you looked up at his handsome face with your mouth full of his cock, he stroked your cheek with his free hand. "So gorgeous. So perfect." He was flushed pink, and you vaguely thought for a second about how funny it would be if Vanessa showed up right now to see this happening.

That would be the definition of comedic timing 😅

"I'm really close," he crooned as you squeezed his hip. You listened to him panting as you stroked his balls with your thumb, and then you sputtered when he came. You swallowed him down as you wrapped your fingers around his base and jerked him off until he had his hand braced on the wall for support. Every drop of his cum was swallowed down, and you kissed his cock when he was finished.

🥵🥵🥵

"Yeah?" he asked, running his mustache along your neck. "Maybe you can sit on my lap in my cockpit? I could show you my throttle." Your face felt warm as you whispered, "You'll get me a lifetime ban from North Island." "Can't have that," he said solemnly, shaking his head. "When you're on summer break, I'm going to want you to come visit me at work all the time."

He is gonna get her a permanent guest pass (idk if there is something like that lol) SO fast b

"At least give me a chance to test out the commute to work," you said with a kiss. "I'm not in a hurry, Gorgeous. I'm just in love."

Oh and he is SO in love 🥰

Then he repeated your words from so many weeks ago. "Do you still want me to kiss you as soon as I see you?" "Bradley," you moaned, rolling onto your side. You were melting, and he wasn't even here. "I always want that."

🥰🥰🥰

"It's huge! The size of a quarter!" he shouted. "It's moving!"

I love a big man with a scary job that is hilariously scared of a silly thing like that haha

When it was your turn to talk to the guards, you climbed out of the bus and handed over all of your paperwork. They double and triple checked everything. As they looked at your school ID and driver's license, one of them said, "This location requires top clearances. We hardly ever see field trip groups. Someone on base must really like you."

"Really like" is a big understatement, don't let Bradley hear that 🤭

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 15 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You want a field trip to North Island for your class, and Bradley is determined to deliver. He loves how you decide to show him some gratitude. He'd love it even more if you stayed and never left.

Warnings: Fluff, language, unprotected sex, oral sex, smut, Bradley in love, 18+

Length: 4500 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Bradley's alarm really pissed him off on Thursday morning. First of all, it went off an hour earlier than it usually did. And second, he had been sound asleep with your body tucked right up against him and his fingers laced with yours. When you began to stir as well, he kissed your ear and started to pull away from you.

"I'm sorry, Baby," he murmured, voice laced with sleep and something intimate that he never remembered treating anyone else to. "Go back to sleep."

You rolled over so you were facing him, and your lips found his immediately. You kissed him softly as your fingers pulled through his hair, and he wanted more than anything to stay here with you all day. "I can't go back to sleep," you whispered. "Not when I get to spend a few extra minutes with you."

In the very short time you and he had been officially in a relationship, he had let himself indulge in the idea that you'd be around forever. That you wouldn't change your mind about him. That you'd love him and let him love you back, like equal partners. And right now all he wanted to do was keep holding you while he also couldn't wait to get to work and try to start sweet talking his superior officers.

"I can't be late today, Gorgeous. Not if I'm going to try my best to make a field trip for your class happen."

Your eyes lit up and you squeaked softly. "You're right. Get the fuck out of here."

He laughed and then groaned. "It shouldn't be sexy when you have a potty mouth." He gave you one long kiss before finally pulling away so he could get ready for work.

"I'll make you breakfast," you whispered, climbing out of bed completely naked before reaching for his discarded sweatshirt on the floor. It was yours now in his mind, and he couldn't wait until it and you were both permanent fixtures in his bedroom. That was going to have to wait a bit though unless you brought it up first. He'd already dropped the idea that he wanted to marry you in front of your class.

"You don't need to make me anything," he said as he started to pull on his clean flight suit, but you were already walking out of the room.

Bradley finished getting ready as quickly as he could in your tiny bathroom, and when he made his way to your equally miniscule kitchen with his overnight bag, you were spreading cream cheese on a bagel and filling a purple travel mug that said #1 Teacher with coffee. "I'll see you tomorrow night?" he asked before taking a bite out of the bagel when you held it up for him.

"I mean... yes, I'll come right to your house from work tomorrow, but you'll see me before that." When he raised an eyebrow while he chewed, you shrugged and added, "I was planning on sending you a dirty picture while I get dressed."

Now both of his eyebrows were raised. "Yeah? How dirty we talking?"

All you said in response was, "I trust you to keep my job intact," before you kissed him and ushered him toward your door with his breakfast. "Go to work, and you'll find out soon. I love you."

"I love you, too, Gorgeous."

When he finally parked on base, he didn't have to imagine your face any longer. He got to look at it in the picture you sent him twenty minutes ago. Along with your tits. Exchanging photos had always been a huge part of getting to know you while he was deployed, and he was delighted to find that the tradition continued.

"Oh my god," he groaned, needing to sit in his Bronco for a few extra minutes while he enjoyed the photo before ultimately saving it to his phone. Then he texted you back with a smirk before heading to the locker room.

Damn, Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to spend a week in bed with that face and those tits.

Of course a honeymoon would be the perfect opportunity for that sort of thing. He dropped his bag off in his locker and made his way out to the hangar, running his hand over his face as he tried to push that thought to the back of his mind. As soon as he spotted Maverick, he made a beeline in his direction.

"Rooster," he greeted, barely glancing up from the clipboard he was holding. Bradley knew it was such a longshot, but he had to just go for it at this point.

"Hey, Mav, you have a minute?"He glanced up over his aviators and said, "Always. What can I do for you?" Bradley cleared his throat and tried to make sure he sounded as relaxed as possible. "

I was wondering if a fourth grade class could visit base for a field trip one day? Do a tour of the hangars and the tarmac? Maybe sit in a cockpit? Just an educational trip for some kids who are studying aviation."

There was a brief pause before Maverick asked, "Are you sleeping with a teacher?"

Bradley groaned, head tipped back as he rubbed his eyes and tried not to laugh. "Yeah. She's my girlfriend though, so it's a bit more involved than that."

Maverick sighed. "If I give you special permission for this, then everyone is going to want me to do the same for them. You know that." Bradley started nodding in defeat when Maverick took his sunglasses off and asked, "How many kids are we talking?"

"Eighteen," he replied immediately, straightening his back like he was standing at attention.

"Which school?"

"Mira Mesa Elementary."

Maverick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let me see what I can do. Now get your helmet on and get to work."

------------------------------

You were finishing your lunch at your desk, about to send Bradley a text, when your phone rang in your hand. He was calling you in the middle of the day which was definitely odd.

"Bradley."

"Hey, Gorgeous," came his voice along with a ton of background noise. "Any chance you can bring your class for a field trip next week?"

Surely you misheard.

"Next week? You already got it approved?"

"Yeah." The deep, raspy rumble of his voice made you shiver. "Next Thursday work for you?"

You were on your feet, doing a little dance as you said, "You got it approved! I'll make it work. I'll type up permission slips right now. I'll call everyone's legal guardian tonight if I have to. We'll be there!"

"Perfect. Email me your complete class list so I can get visitor badges printed."

"Okay," you told him, glancing around like you didn't know where to start. "Right."

"I love you, Baby. Talk later."

He ended the call without another word, and you tucked your phone away before running a lap around your classroom. You wanted to go gloat to all of the other fourth grade teachers, but you wouldn't. You were absolutely certain that this only worked out because you were in a relationship with Bradley, so instead you got to work on the permission slips.

By Friday afternoon, your kids were beyond excited about their upcoming trip to North Island. You had secured eighteen permission slips, three chaperones and a school bus to take everyone down to Coronado next week. But today, you'd be driving there yourself to see Bradley. The traffic after work didn't even bother you as you drove to his house with both your overnight bag and your work bag. You had some quizzes to grade, but he promised you he didn't mind if you brought them along.

When you parked in front of his house, you grabbed your things and ran up to the front door which swung open before you could even knock.

"I just got home," he said with a laugh in his sexy khaki uniform and boots. "I was thinking about giving you a key in case you beat me here one of these days. Oh, shit."

You set your bags down just inside his front door and then had your hands tugging down his pants zipper before you leaned up to kiss him. As you pulled his cock free, you whispered, "I just wanted to thank you again."

You bunched Bradley's shirt up around his abs and dropped to your knees while the front door was still open, and he grunted before quickly closing it. "You don't have to thank me," he rasped as you kissed his cock, and he started to grow hard.

As you ran your nose along his length, you glanced up at him and asked, "You don't want me to give you a blowjob?"

His pupils were wide as he shook his head. "Could you imagine a world in which I didn't want you to give me a blowjob? Because I definitely couldn't."

You laughed and parted your lips. "Then let me say thank you, Lieutenant Bradshaw."

His big hand settled on the back of your head, giving you an eager push, and you took him deep as he groaned, "It's my pleasure, Baby. In so many ways."

He was velvety soft and warm, fully hard now, and you gagged as he bottomed out. You let your tongue glide slowly along his length until you pulled him free, saliva already dripping down to his balls. Then you took a deep breath and let him push you again, bobbing your head as your eyes watered. His balls were heavy in your hand, and your mouth watered more as you thought about tasting him.

You let your hands settle on his hips, and you bobbed your head until he was tapping the back of your throat again. Bradley's sharp gasp just made you go harder, and his fingers digging gently into your hair made you go faster. "Fuck," he whispered, eyes glued on your lips as you let him pop free. You licked a swirl around his tip before going deep and sucking until your cheeks were hollow, and you could feel him throbbing with need.

"Come here," he whispered, reaching for you before doing anything else, and as you stood, he scooped you into his arms. His lips collided with yours, and you sighed as he tasted himself in your mouth. "That was hot."

Bradley's nose bumped yours as he kissed you harder and started to walk you further into his house. "We could always do it again later," you whispered with a laugh as you ran your fingers along the sheen of sweat along his hairline.

"I have other plans for you for later," he promised, voice deep and dark.

"Tell me," you whispered, but he shook his head.

"You'll find out after I cook dinner."

"Can I have a hint?"

He glanced to the side and nodded as you walked through the living room with him. "Another couch date. Kind of."

"I love couch dates."

"I love you."

Bradley made you a grilled cheese sandwich, and he made two for himself, and you stood in his kitchen with him while you ate and sipped a beer. He didn't even bother to finish zipping up his khakis after tucking himself away, and he kept you in his grasp as he told you all about what he wanted to share with your class during the field trip.

"I can take them on a tour of the hangar," he murmured, kissing your cheek. "Let them listen in on air traffic control. Do you think they'd want to sit in my cockpit?"

"Bradley," you said with a laugh. "Of course they would want to! I want to!"

"Yeah?" he asked, running his mustache along your neck. "Maybe you can sit on my lap in my cockpit? I could show you my throttle."

Your face felt warm as you whispered, "You'll get me a lifetime ban from North Island."

"Can't have that," he said solemnly, shaking his head. "When you're on summer break, I'm going to want you to come visit me at work all the time."

Butterflies erupted in your belly as you pictured yourself in six months. Visiting him at work would be incredible. You could stop by with a coffee like he had done for you, and maybe you could take one for Natasha as well. But you were also thinking about how he casually announced to your class that he intended to marry you in the not so distant future.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and felt the front of his unzipped pants through the fabric of your shirt. "I'm not driving back and forth to Coronado every day during my break, Bradley."

He smiled at you and said, "Understood. You can just spend the night as much as you want. I'm right by the beach, so you can sunbathe all day until I'm done working, and then I'll take you out to Salvatore's or cook dinner for you."

"Or we can just hang out on the couch," you whispered, your lips brushing his.

"Speaking of the couch..."

-----------------------------

"Harder."

Your voice filled the living room along with your little grunts and moans as Bradley held your hips in place. You were bent over the arm of the couch with your ass up in the air, fingers digging into the cushions while he fucked you. For as sweet as you were, he loved you like this just as much. Loud and needy for him.

The sound of his body slapping against yours was already obscene, but if you wanted it harder, he'd let you have it. He was yours in every sense of the word, and he would make sure you knew it. "Does that feel good?" he crooned, watching your pussy grip his cock. "It looks fantastic," he grunted.

Your response was unintelligible but enthusiastic, so he kept going until he was close and your legs were shaking. The blowjob you gave him earlier seemed to take the edge off, because as soon as he started rubbing soft circles on your clit, you came for him, but he wasn't quite there yet. He slowed his pace down, let himself enjoy the feel of you shaking and squeezing him. He could have probably gone longer, but then you turned and looked up at him over your shoulder.

"That was so good," you said with a shaky voice, "I saw stars."

"Oh hell." He came inside you as you chewed on your lip and looked at him like you'd never get enough. "Come here." You stood with your back pressed against him while he was still buried deep. "You want to snuggle?"

"Always," you whispered as he peppered kisses to your shoulder. And then the two of you ended up on the couch, and it was sweet again as you curled up mostly on top of him while he drew shapes on your palm.

And that's how the whole weekend was. On Saturday, the two of you spent a few windswept hours on the beach, wrapped in a blanket together, talking and laughing. But after the sun set and the sky turned that pretty pretty color that looked both blue and orange at the same time, your lips found his.

"Gorgeous," he groaned, hands on your thighs, feeling your warmth through your jeans.

"I love you," came your immediate response, and Bradley could barely contain himself. He wanted everything with you, but he was afraid of moving any faster than this already pretty blistering pace. But even thinking about the nights this week when he'd have to fall asleep without you and wake up alone were creeping into the back of his mind.

He pressed his forehead to yours and whispered, "I love you too, Gorgeous. And I'm just going to say this one time, and then I'll let you bring it up again if you feel like it."When he paused, you said, "Okay," in a soft voice, and he took a deep breath.

"If we ever reach a point where you think you want to move in with me, that would make me very happy. You already have a key now, but if you want it to be even more permanent, I would love that."

"Oh," you gasped, and he suddenly wished he hadn't said anything about it. "My lease ends in January."

"January," he repeated, like it was a word he was unfamiliar with.

"Mmhmm. In about two months." You kissed his cheek and wrapped his hand up in yours. "That seems reasonable, don't you think?"

Bradley let you push his shoulder playfully until he was laying on his back, and then you were in his arms just like you were on the first date. "Yeah, that seems reasonable," he whispered as the sound of your soft laughter mingled with the crashing waves.

"At least give me a chance to test out the commute to work," you said with a kiss.

"I'm not in a hurry, Gorgeous. I'm just in love."

-----------------------------

You didn't get home from Bradley's house on Sunday night until almost eleven, but you couldn't bring yourself to complain about it. He helped you grade your quizzes, and he read over your lesson plans like it was a bestselling novel. Then he made you a snack after dinner and went over the plans for the field trip.

"I'll take care of everything this week," he had promised. "I'll get visitor's badges for everyone, and you'll just need to go through the security checkpoints when you arrive. Your kids will have a blast. Just wait until they get to watch Marty work on an engine rebuild."

"The kids are going to lose their minds when they see your Super Hornet," you had promised. "And I will, too. I was already falling for you when you sent me the cockpit photos, and now I'm head over heels."

After that, Bradley carefully folded up your lesson plans and put them in your bag while you tried to hide your smile. And that's why you got home so late. Because the two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other for more than a minute.

But it made for a long Monday. And your Tuesday wasn't much better. By Wednesday, even the phone calls and texts with Bradley were barely enough to keep you going. You hated thinking about his next deployment, but it was always at the back of your mind. He wanted you to move in with him, but even his beautiful house in Coronado wouldn't save you from feeling devastatingly lonely the next time he was on an aircraft carrier. Nothing would.

He told you he wanted to drive up and spend the night with you on Wednesday, but he was yawning nonstop over the phone, and you knew he would have to get up earlier if he came up to your apartment. "You sound as exhausted as I feel, and I'm going to see you in the morning anyway," you told him as you curled up in your bed." Actually all nineteen of us are going to see you in the morning."

"I love my pen pals," he said with a laugh. Then he repeated your words from so many weeks ago. "Do you still want me to kiss you as soon as I see you?"

"Bradley," you moaned, rolling onto your side. You were melting, and he wasn't even here. "I always want that."

"Good, because I don't think I could... Oh shit!" he shouted, and it sounded like he dropped his phone.

"What's wrong?" you asked, jolting up in your bed. "Bradley?"

"No, no, no," came his voice, but you could tell he wasn't right next to his phone speaker. He actually sounded scared, but you couldn't fathom what could possibly be going on, and then he said, "There's a fucking spider on my bedroom wall!"

"Oh," you replied, letting out the breath you'd been holding.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?! Why aren't you here?!"

"Bradley, just squish it with some paper towels," you told him, trying not to laugh at his panicked voice.

"You want me to take my eyes off this fucking thing to go to the kitchen? I don't think so!"

You pressed your lips together and composed yourself before asking, "How big is it?"

"It's huge! The size of a quarter!" he shouted. "It's moving!"

"Bradley, pick up one of your boots or a shoe and smash it," you told him as calmly as you could. "You can do this."

"Okay. Okay, right. Yeah," he said, and his voice sounded even more distant. "I can do this." There was a terribly loud thump, and then he said, "I hate this so much."

"Is it dead?" you asked cautiously.

"Yeah, but I'm too scared to sleep in here now. What if its family shows up for revenge in the middle of the night?"

You snorted and collapsed back onto your pillow. "That seems a little dramatic."

"Does it?" he asked. "Because this is something you should be taking care of for me. I'll take care of anything else, but this one thing is on you, Baby."

You started to pull your shirt off as you asked, "Would you feel better if I sent you another dirty photo?"

"I would feel a lot better if you sent me a dirty photo," he said, and now you could tell he was smiling.

"Hmm... you think you'll be able to get some sleep if I do?" you asked, tossing your shirt aside.

"A full eight hours."

You held your phone up, smiled sweetly, and snapped a picture. "Let me know when you get it," you said as you texted it to him.

A few seconds later, you giggled as he groaned. "Got it. You look like perfection, and I love adding these to my top secret folder," he muttered. "Thank you."

Now you were yawning as you pulled your sheet up to your chin. "You're welcome. I'll see you in ten hours. I love you."

"Love you, Baby."

-------------------------- You thought you were prepared for the field trip to North Island. You had bus snacks, and responsible chaperones. You had copies of all of the required paperwork that the Navy insisted you fill out ahead of time in a folder. You even had a list of all of your kids for the guard station officer which Bradley reminded you to bring. But nothing could have actually prepared you for the excitement that all nineteen of you clearly felt when the school bus pulled up to the gates with the airstrip directly in front of you.

"Whoa!" said Jayden, trying to hang out the window for a better view. "There's a jet taking off!"

All of your kids scrambled to the right side of the bus to get a better look, and you did too. The aftermath of the takeoff was loud, and you signaled for everyone to cover their ears as they all watched the aircraft soar into the sun.

"Do you think that was Lieutenant Bradshaw?" Nia asked excitedly as your heart raced.

"No," you replied as you watched the jet fly off into the distance. "He said he would meet us after we parked in the visitors lot." When the bus started moving up to the guards, you waved your hand for everyone to sit down again. "But if you're all really well behaved, I'm sure there will be some surprises for us today!"

You thought about Bradley and his kisses and his couch and how he wanted you there to share his bed and always take care of the spiders. "Yeah, that's pretty accurate," you told him with a smile, and he handed you a bundle of lanyards. Hanging from each one was a visitor's pass for each of your students as well as four for you and the chaperones. "Thank you."

Even as you handed each kid their pass and told them they needed to wear them at all times, your heart raced in anticipation. They were all looking back at you with wide-eyed excitement; these were the faces of kids who had learned a lot in your classroom already this year. They were as eager to learn more about aviation today as they were months ago, and you were so happy that Bradley had been a big part of this whole experience.

As the bus driver parked, you saw your boyfriend through the window, standing tall next to the building. He was in his flight suit, and his back was ramrod straight. There were two other officers with him, and they had even more pins on their uniforms than you remembered seeing on his. You needed to reel in your expectations, especially in front of the men who you assumed were Bradley's bosses. But when you smiled, Bradley smiled back. And when you led your students down the steps and over to the sidewalk, his posture relaxed.

"Welcome to North Island," he told your kids with a grin. Then he looped one arm around your waist, pulled you close, and kissed you in front of everyone. "I can't wait to show you everything."

--------------------------

The field trip of my dreams! Okay, so we are definitely going to see Marty at work, but what else should the kids get to experience? Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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bisluthq · 8 months ago

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So I had a Pap smear done because I’m about to turn 26 (was meant to get it done at 25 but I moved and didn’t have a gp). The doc is doing the Pap smear and afterwards she asked me why I never got vaccinated against hpv? And I was like what do you mean my parents are very pro vax, I got everything as a kid. Then I asked my mum and she says I missed it cause it had just been introduced. Getting it done now but the problem is it’s not as effective in adults because you have sexual history so you may have already gotten hpv and have it dormant in your body. I’m really freaked out that I already have a high risk strain. I’ve only had sex with 3 men, but I’ve also been assaulted and hpv doesn’t need sex to spread just skin to skin genital contact (or oral sex). Freaking out constantly and I can’t get it off my mind and I just feel so unsafe in my body now.

ok so there’s obviously nothing you can do about this right now, which I agree is a scary thought. You’re gonna get your results soon - depending on where you live like between a few days and a few weeks. There’s fuck all you can do before that. Odds of you having it aren’t actually that high but I’m also not gonna sit here and tell you that you don’t have it because… I dunno. That’s why you got the test. While you’re waiting for the results, the thoughts about it are intrusive/invasive thoughts. What I do with those, and this is a technique that works well for me, is I pretend all my intrusive/invasive thoughts are an annoying drunk friend and I talk to her. Some people like to journal it, I don’t really bother with that because I have a big imagination and a lot of invasive thoughts so I just talk to the bitch in my mind right and I tell her like “okay so what do you want to do?” and “listen” for the response lol and talk back. I also just sometimes say yk “bro just shut the fuck up, let’s go do something else” the same way I would if an annoying drunk friend was… annoying me irl and I wasn’t in a position to ditch her ass. If “we” go do another activity, whether that’s reading a book or doing diy or exercising or checking this blog or whatever, she usually shuts the fuck up. The other thing you can do is try practice mindfulness right and do a whole body check in and try figure out how each body part feels. That’s something my therapist is a big fan of but I don’t like doing it because I prefer to have sassy conversations with my invasive thoughts rather than mindfully being in my body. You can also try meditating (I use an app called Mo which I absolutely LOVE and cannot recommend highly enough but it’s relatively expensive. You do have cheaper options or even totally free options online, I just like my app) or even listening to music. I do those things but I do them “with” my inner dialogue right but you could do it just as a Pavlovian response - if you notice an intrusive thought, go into your app/playlist and listen to that and teach your brain that you’re not gonna accept its bullshit today.

Hope the test comes back clear. If it doesn’t, it’s also not the end of the world. Arm yourself with the science right and just… go for regular screenings and tests. That’s all you’re gonna be able to do. And you’re not even there yet. So for now just tell that annoying voice in head to shut the fuck up.

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wykedstories · 10 months ago

Text

Chapter 2: The Books

It's Tuesday morning and I wake up to my alarm blaring at 5:15 in the morning. I roll over to push the snooze button on my phone and then remind myself I have to get up even though I'm dead tired. I have been trying to get up earlier so I can do my makeup and hair to try not to look like animal from the muppets, because I really want to impress Vince. Today I decided to do a light nude eyeshadow with hints of a golden shimmer with a clear lip gloss, for my hair I decided that a nice high ponytail would do the trick paired with a nice black v cut tee shirt and my favorite pair of skin tight blue jeans that make my ass “pop”! I almost feel like I'm trying for no reason because Vince would never bat an eye at me! Ugh, it's 6:00 am and I'm almost done with my makeup, but I really need to hurry and get to school. Class starts at 7:05 and I have a 30 min drive to school. I honestly hate driving, it's the worst, because traffic is always the worst at about 6:30 am in the morning for a small town like ours.

I'm totally not ready for school today. I have a math test today on the use of the quadratic formula and I'm definitely gonna fail it, but I'm hoping for the best. I seriously can't get Vince out of my mind. I am almost convinced to talk to him. I mean what harm can it really do right? It's just talking! I'm on the highway and the traffic isn't really too bad out this morning surprisingly. I'm hoping that it's smooth sailing from here all the way to school.

Well it was a pretty smooth drive over all, i'm finally here at hillardsdale highschool. Walking into school is always pretty nerve wracking and I hate the fact that I am such an anxious person and it's such a hard task but once I'm in there it's okay. How stupid is that?

“Hey Leah, good morning girlfriend”! I hear Darcy yell as she's running up to me from in front of the cafeteria. If i'm being honest im so not even in the mood for Darcy right now I just wish she was vince.

“Hello lovey” I reply to Darcy as she comes in hot for a hug. I give her a huge hug like I'm sure she anticipated, and yes I'll admit it was forced.

“ You look great bestie, I love the way you did your makeup, are you dressing up for the new kid”? She winked at me as she cracked a smirk.

“ Why do you have to assume that I'm dressing up for Vince Myers, and not just to make myself feel good?” I quickly snapped back at her. “Sorry girly, I didn't mean to offend you, I take it Mr. Vince is a touchy subject” she snickered.

“It's not that he is a touchy subject, I am just really interested in him and I'm too much of a pussy to just talk to him and say hi you know”?

“Oh girl , you are such a beautiful lady, why don't you just go talk to him idk drop your books or something to get his attention, in mean how bad can he be? It's not like he's this big scary guy” Darcy supportively said in an excited tone.

“Yeah i suppose that i could just go ahead and “drop” my books and see if i can get his attention but what a classic stupid girl move don't ya think”?

“Anyways Darcy im late for my morning english class i gotta go i'll see you at lunchtime love ya girly”.

I guess Darcy is right. How hard can it be? I already see Vince in the hallway a lot and we have three classes together. I feel like the dropping books method could work! I've almost got myself convinced I can talk to him and I have a pretty good plan. In the afternoon I have a math class with him. Maybe I'll just fumble my books and see if I can catch his attention since he seems like a gentleman that would help a lady in need, or maybe he is an asshole and won't even look in my direction.

I'm in my 2nd period science class and it's the most boring thing ever. You'll never guess it was another lecture and worksheet, at this point I would really like to just go back to book work so that I can read the section, finish the worksheet, and then sit and daydream about Vince while doodling. It's crazy to think that I'm so obsessed with him and he has only been here three whole weeks. There's still 30 minutes left until I get to see his handsome face, until then I'm gonna daydream about the words we will exchange when I get the courage to talk to him or the stars align magically. I can hear Vince now “ oh hey look you dropped your books let me help you with that, and by the way your eyeshadow looks amazing. Do you think we will pass this math test today?”.

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ the bell rings loudly and totally interrupts my day dreaming session and boy am I glad because I was about to wonder right in there to him asking me on a date after school which is extremely outrageous to think would ever happen. Now it's time to head to math class and fail this stupid test. I swear to all the gods that math is mental abuse to humans UGH.

I gather up my papers and close my textbook to get ready for the trip to the class I hate the most. I walk out of the classroom and take a hard right to head up the stairwell that leads to my math class and boy do I run up the stairs like a mad man and I never tend to look up or watch in front of me when I walk at all. Therefore, to no surprise today, I run face first into a locker because I slipped on the last stair and ate that locker like it was my fucking breakfast. Next thing I know I hear a deep voice directly in front of me. “What the hell, are you okay? I swear, can't you watch where you're going? For real, now they are gonna think im here beating girls with locker doors so ill have to go to another fucking country instead of just halfway across the united states jesus i already have enough shit going wrong for me”!

“ uh um hey i'm uh im really sorry” I managed to stutter as I looked up at Vince completely shocked. I looked down at my books in disbelief and embarrassment, but as always when I fuck something up I just pick up and keep going so thats just what I did. I walked into math looking at my feet and going straight to my desk to ignore the world and doodle. Boy, i cant wait to gossip to Darcy about what the fuck just happend. For the record I now really dont give a flying fuck about this math test.

#bookblr #reading #bookworm #books and reading #literature #books

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