#and to do questionable things and have complicated relationships to his values
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justletmeon12 · 3 days ago
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Garak's relationship with Bashir actually reminds me heavily of a thing that kept happening to me when I was younger:
The thing about being Really Annoying, according to all neurotypicals, and never getting the benefit of the doubt due to both that and people misreading everything you do because you don't speak elaborate unspoken social cue, is that it makes you a) lonely, and b) deeply skeptical of the assumption that certain other people are Bad.
As a result, I've had a string of close friendships and borderline-relationships with smart, interesting people who I'd been told to stay away from - mostly because of mental health issues, difficult home lives, etc. Whether because of that or for some other reason, most of our interactions tended to be built on discussing common interests - philosophy, animals, and yes, literature.
Some of them did turn out to be jerks/creeps (including a couple with some frustrating ideas about minority groups), but the overwhelming thing they all had in common was that they were as lonely and isolated as I was, and that made them more tolerant of the things that made me Bad.
Garak is objectively not a good person. He's a torturer who's overwhelmingly devoted to an empire built on beliefs about racial supremacy. He's also extremely fucked up, and very isolated on a station where even people who don't know his past hate him. Bashir connecting to him as someone else who nobody can stand (and who's also okay with talking about a SpIn constantly) is one of the most relatable things about him.
Garak loving Bashir for all of his Autistic quirks instead of in spite of, is something so healing to me personally
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 8 months ago
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analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]
#ffxiv#ffxiv hermes#emet-selch#i have Posts in Me to write up about the subject but like you can maybe immediately start connecting some dots here lmao#hermes and the ancients lie at the intersection of A Lot of Shit That is Very Important to Me#the vast majority of it having to do with gaslighting in various different forms#one of those posts is going into how his story reminds me eerily of what Questioning Things in an abusive evangelical environment is like#and how the fandom instantly jumping straight to OH SO YOU THINK THE ANCIENTS SHOULD HAVE BEEN GENOCIDED IS THAT IT#YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE INFANTILIZED AND CIVILIZED BY THE SUPERIOR MORALS OF YOUR OWN CULTURE IS THAT IT#and start throwing around words like 'sympathizer'; if you say 'hermes was right about some shit actually'#'what we see of the ancients' society is full of inexcusably horrific shit which does not get a pass for ~different values~'#smacks strongly to me of evangelical crybullying in the name of Cultural Sensitivity#and how people use 'well it's not my business what other cultures think is right or wrong' as an excuse to throw up their hands and#disengage from actually learning about or supporting the people in those cultures who know and are working within it to fight bigotry#amazingly enough 'racism and misogyny and queerphobia are bad' is not an idea exclusive to western cultures lmfao#your job if you engage is to seek out those people--across the spectrum of opinions and relationships to their culture's issues!#they're not a monolith!--and spread that information; and listen to what they ask of you when they tell you what kind of help they need#but that's complicated; and takes time and care and thought and effort and connecting to marginalized people#talking over activists and victims of the societal issues they live with; and telling them they're the same as colonizers; is easy-peasy#like i cannot stress enough here that hermes Is an Ancient. He Lives Here. He Knows His Society and Thinks About It a Lot#He Wants to Salvage It and is Specifically Fucked Up About Feeling Like He Can't Trust People Around Him for Input#WoL doesn't barge in and start telling the ancients what's what; they find the person who Cares and back him up that he's not crazy or alon#anyway there's a lot here but it is uh. a Lot. the ways in which the game blends up christianity and judaism here.#including the fact that between the two; the default cultural values and dynamics align more with christian associations of Conformity#(the game is by japanese creators and i feel like that's A Factor too; but there are Eerily Accurate evangelical things going on here)#and people cape for the ones who are Most Evangelical about it + the one whose Compelling Aspects are all antisemitic as fuck tropes#whereas the brown guy who grapples with his faith and worldview; who questions and challenges and argues with others in his ethnoreligion#and tries to look for perspective and deeper meaning + Improve Society Somewhat; gets torn apart in the worst faith possible by the fandom#ffxivtag#warning: worm grass
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dailynnt · 1 month ago
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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE
⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.
⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader
⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.
⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+
⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤
⊹📕 Number of part: 18/?
⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words. Tags will be added as the story is written.
⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: I can't believe I wrote the second part. I am so happy with how it turned out. I hope you will also enjoy it and look forward to the sequel. I will try to write it as soon as possible. I tried to create tension between Y/N and Jungkook. In part three, you'll find something very hot, so stay tuned for part three. Thanks to everyone who liked my story, I will do my best for you.
⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!
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≣ Chapter Index ↓
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Part 2. In theory
Today was a day off. Sunday. The one and only day when you could devote it entirely to yourself and not to your studies. Even though exams were about to start before the New Year holidays, you still recognized that you needed to rest, otherwise you might go crazy. This day could have started better if not for the morning's fight with Jungkook. And that's why you feel uncomfortable. You seem to have resolved everything and he has apologized, but there is some unpleasant residue. The emotions that you've been holding in for so long have left behind this very residue.
It wasn't just the quarrel you had this morning that made you feel uncomfortable. Jungkook. That's who was really making you feel as if you were detached from reality. His "question" about your love life kept repeating in your head.
Why did he suddenly want to know? Did you behave in such a way that he wanted to ask you about it? You had conversations on this topic, but it turned out that most often it was when you got together with a large group of your friends. One of them would start, and the evening would turn into a discussion of sexual achievements. Not infrequently, when you were drinking with Jungkook, he would also start such conversations, but you tried to avoid them.
But the truth is this. You only want to know one thing: why did he want to know if you had sex? What business is it of his?
You beat your fists on the bed. This question was tearing at your brain. Why are you lying here thinking about this? Don't you have anything better to do?!
You heard the sound of the combination lock. Jungkook had returned from the store. Your heart beat faster and felt like stomach was being stirred with a spoon. You sat on the bed and stared at the front door of your bedroom.
You need to calm down. You need to act normal. This is Jungkook, your best friend. You've known him for so long, so why would you have any problems with him now? You stood up and clenched your fists. "I'm going to make it through this. Nothing strange has happened. I'll treat my friend like I always do!" You straightened your hoodie, pulled up the sweatpants you loved to wear at home, and confidently opened the door to the living room.
Jungkook was on the doorstep, taking off his shoes. His black jacket was already hanging on the nightstand at the entrance. Two large bags of groceries were standing next to him. Noticing the white containers, you concluded that he had bought ready-made food. That's why he was gone for so long.
Your best friend noticed you. When your eyes met, you felt a twinge inside. And you literally lost to yourself. Your heart started pounding again, and your breathing became rapid, but you tried to hold on. In a split second, you ran your eyes over his figure, and you liked what you saw in front of you very much. Jungkook was dressed in all black. He liked to dress like that, 90% of his wardrobe was black. The other 10% were white clothes. For some reason, he did not wear colored clothes. The black Calvin Klein hoodie fit him perfectly. His pants were the same color with many pockets. His hair was slightly disheveled, probably because he was wearing a hood.
Jungkook picked up the bags and smiled broadly. "I decided it would take too long to cook, and we were already hungry. So I bought some ready-to-eat food." - He rustled the bags. You smiled awkwardly. Mentally scolding yourself for acting like a fool, you walked towards Jungkook, who had already come to the table and started to open up the containers of food.
"You're such a smart boy for thinking of that, because I'm really hungry." - You said as you helped Jungkook take out and open the lunchboxes.
"But you had breakfast!" - Your friend protested. "You fried some eggs for yourself and didn't even leave me a piece!"
"Two eggs without anything is not breakfast. Consider it as if I didn't eat anything. And I didn't fry them for you because you thought deserve them?" - You jabbed your finger at him. Jungkook giggled.
"I really didn't deserve breakfast this morning. But to make it up to you, I bought something for you." - Jungkook said. You looked at him. He was taking something out of the bottom of the bag. And as soon as the craft rectangular box appeared, you squealed with happiness.
"Donuts!" - You squeaked. You had no idea that Jungkook would buy your favorite hazelnut and chocolate-filled donuts. You loved all the donuts in the world, but these were your favorite.
You threw your arms around Jungkook and hugged him. And you kept squealing with joy. Donuts were the only thing that made you feel good, and your friend knew it. So it couldn't have been better. Jungkook hugged you around the waist with one arm, laughing, and tried to hold the box of dessert in the other.
"Thank you!" - You were still squeaking over Jungkook's ear. You probably would have hugged your friend for another 5 minutes and mocked his eardrums, but at that moment Jungkook's phone rang. You had to let him go. Handing you a box of donuts, your friend picked up the phone.
"Hello!" - Jungkook said. He went to the sink, and you continued to set the table.
You opened all the boxes and looked forward to finally having a good meal. Jungkook bought pork jangmyeon, kimchi, pickled radish, five packages of cooked rice (Jungkook eats a lot of rice for lunch), your favorite pulgogi, pocheeji (tofu stew), and stewed vegetables. You were almost salivating at the sight and smell of the food. You walked over to the chopstick stand and heard Jungkook talking.
"...Nothing special. I don't think I even asked her name." - You realized who Jungkook was talking about and with whom he was talking. It was Jimin, and conversation was about this morning girl who you had seen in the morning. You looked up at Jungkook. You had to nudge him to the side to get the chopsticks.
"I drunk but remember all. It was good, I don't think I'll call her again." - The irritation reappeared. But why would you care what Jungkook is talking about? But your mood disappeared easily. You were annoyed that he was talking with Jimin about the this morning girl. The image of her in your head made you think back to the fight, which made you feel uncomfortable. "How annoying... let him start telling him in detail about what they were doing there!" - You were angry. Why do he have to discuss it so loudly? You feel like you're eavesdropping, but he's talking so loudly that you have to be deaf not to hear.
You sat down at the table and started eating without waiting for Jungkook. Your movements were sudden and loud. Jungkook noticed that you started eating without him and smiled slyly. Your sudden, irritated movements could not escape his eyes.
"But you know what, Hyung? I haven't had a blowjob this good in a long time." - You spat out the pulgogi you had put in your mouth a moment before. You coughed, covering your mouth with your hand so that you couldn't be heard.
Jimin didn't know you were living with Jungkook, no one did. You were the one who asked don’t to tell anyone. You explained that you might be misunderstood, because everyone already suspected you were dating. But this did not happen. Even though you spent most of your time with Jungkook, it didn't mean that you were dating. You were just really good friends. Like soul mates. Although, considering the last three months, you were like sworn enemies.
Jungkook walked over to you and lightly patted you on the back while he continued to talk on the phone.
"I can give you her number if you want." - You heard your friend's voice somewhere above your head. He sounded like he was smiling. You wanted to strangle him. How can you say such things when a person is eating? You looked up at him. He was standing over you, smiling slyly. Jungkook was no longer pounding you, but stroking you. You beat his hand away and gestured that he was a fool and needed to end the conversation because the food goes cold.
"Anything. I was going to have lunch and bought some food." - A big sly smile graced Jungkook's lips. He sat down next to you and grabbed the metal chopsticks. Your eyes were completely focused on the lunch dishes, but with your peripheral vision you saw what your friend was doing. He was opening his portion of rice and still listening to what Jimin was saying to him.
"Tonight? I'm free..." - Jungkook answered. You looked up at him with anger eyes and encounter with two black buttons. "Ahh, I mean I'm free, but I promised Y/N I'd eat samgyopsal with her. We haven't seen each other for a long time, and she's going crazy because of the exams..." - Your friend made up a lie on the spot. You raised one eyebrow in surprise and question. Would he really refuse to meet Jimin? You love Jimin, he's also your friend, but whenever Jungkook is "free in the evening" like this and Jimin calls him, it always ends the same way. Jungkook is either gone for a day or he brings someone home. Jungkook probably feels guilty and, taking into account his words about following the rules, decided to lie. The guy sitting next to him nodded his head with a sweet look on his face, confirming to you that he wasn't going anywhere with Jimin. You lost interest and went back to your plate.
"If you want to join us, I won't mind. After all, we've been wanting to eat samgyopsal with you for a long time. But you need to text Y/N. She needs to know you're coming too. She's been very nervous lately." - You heard that irritating smart guy. His side was instantly hurt by your punch.
"I'm not a nervous, fool!" - You said with one lip. Jungkook could hardly contain his laughter. He talked to Jimin for another minute and finally said goodbye. You didn't say anything, although at first you thought about killing Jungkook as soon as he hung up, but you changed your mind. It's better to restrain yourself. God, why are you so angry with this guy lately? Has he really always had such a big mouth?
The only sound in the kitchen was the sound of metal chopsticks hitting a plate. When Jungkook finished talking on the phone, several minutes had passed. And all this time you were eating in silence. Each of you was thinking about something different. For example, you were wondering why Jungkook hadn't spoken to you yet. Why he didn't ask you if you liked the food, or why you were angry, or if you wanted to go to a restaurant tonight and have samgyopsal with Jimin. God, what's wrong with you? You're ready to go off like a bomb. How soon is your period due? Maybe you're so angry because your period is coming up.
"How's the food, baby?" - Jungkook finally broke the silence. You took your time answering. He surprises you sometimes. How he knows what you want him to do. He almost always does exactly what you think. You've known him for so long that you can just guess what he's going to do?
"It's good." - You said, finishing the radish. You tried to keep your tone calm, but it came out too dry. Jungkook smiled, surprisingly. You heard him sigh.
"You wanted to eat samgyopsal, so I thought we'd go to a restaurant not far from here tonight. That's why I made up this story for Jimin..." - Your friend said. But to you, it sounded like an excuse. He said it after you gave him a look full of lightning.
"Really? For some reason, I thought that when you told Jimin you were free, you wanted to continue yesterday's fun!" - You said in a sarcastically sweet voice.
"No, I didn't. I really wanted to invite you to eat out." - Jungkook said seriously. "But if you don't want to..."
"I do. I need a drink." - You said, getting up from the table.
"You've already eaten?" - Jungkook was surprised. You grabbed a box of donuts to eat alone in your room. Jungkook had bought them for you and you didn't want to share them.
"Yeah, you talked on the phone too long. I'm already full. What time should we go?" - You asked.
"I don't know, what time do you get hungry?"
"Okay. I'll tell you when I'm hungry. Thanks for lunch." - You turned on your feet and walked toward your bedroom.
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You spent almost the whole day in your room. After lunch, Jungkook went out without telling you when he would be back. You only knew he had left when the door slammed shut. Trying not to think about what business Jungkook could have gone on, you turned on a drama to distract yourself from the annoying thoughts of your friend and your constantly irritating attitude towards him. You didn't get to watch the drama properly. First, you got a call from Suyong, a friend from the university. Then you called your parents and talked to your mom on the phone for almost two hours. It had been a long time since you had talked to her for that long. Given your busy study schedule, conversations with your parents were usually late at night and it was literally to find out if you were okay.
After talking to your mom, you received a text message from Jimin inviting you and Taehyung to join you with Jungkook for grilled pork and soju tonight. You agreed, saying that you missed the guys and that you'd love to spend the evening with them. You really needed to dilute the company of Jungkook, who had been annoying you lately.
Finally, when you finished texting Jimin, you could devote yourself to watching a drama.
The drama turned out to be so interesting that you didn't notice how you watched 6 episodes at a time and it was getting dark outside. You felt very hungry, because your last meal was well past lunchtime.
You went out to the living room to look for Jungkook. He must have come back when you didn't hear him, but the light was off. You noticed that Jungkook's jacket, boots, and bike helmet were missing. It's so late, almost eight o'clock in the evening. Where could he be for so long? Maybe he was called to work because of something urgent?
You didn't know where Jungkook worked. The only thing you knew was that it had something to do with security. He was some kind of manager or something. You repeatedly tried to ask Jungkook where he worked, but he was skillful at avoiding answering.
You went back to your room to call your friend and tell him you were hungry. A few long rings and he picked up the phone.
"Hello!" - Jungkook said.
"Hello. Where are you?" - You asked.
"I went away for work. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I had an emergency." - Jungkook's voice was quiet in the background.
"Mmm. I'm already hungry." - You said. "You promised we'd go to a restaurant."
"Yeah. How long until you're ready?" - You heard Jungkook walk outside. The sound of the road and the wind reached your ear.
"Are you coming to pick me up?" - You asked hopefully.
"If you want." - Jungkook said gently. You didn't think for a second. You answered immediately.
"I want to. I'll be ready in about 30 minutes."
"I'll be there in exactly half an hour. I'll call Jimin and have him come too." - You heard the sound of Jungkook's bike engine.
"Taehyung will be here too." - You said as you went to the shower.
"Great. It'll be more fun!" - Said your friend. "I'll be there soon. Get ready." - You gave a short "Okay" and ran to take a shower.
After quick showers you washed face and put on light makeup. If it were just you and Jungkook, you wouldn't have done this. You're used to not wearing makeup around him. But Jimin and Taehyung are the kind of people who shouldn't see you without makeup. You can't really trust them. In December, you wore a warm beige sweatshirt and jeans to keep warm on motorcycle. It might have been warm in the restaurant, but you don't want to freeze to death while Jungkook is riding his bike. So a warm puffy jacket is perfect. You were just putting on your hat when Jungkook called. He told you that he was waiting for you.
You arrived at a restaurant that was a block away from your house. It was a cozy place that was always crowded. Jungkook parked his bike and you went inside together. To your surprise, Jimin and Taehyung were already there, grilling pork. When they saw you, they waved their hands energetically to invite you to the table.
"Hi guys!" - You greeted your friends, taking turns hugging them. Jungkook shook his hands and helped you undress. There was a hanger near each table. You sat down at the table and felt the smell of roasting meat warming your appetite to the max. Jungkook sat down next to you.
"How are you? Did you come together?" - Jimin spoke to you. You followed his movements and the way the pork was being cooked, fascinated.
"I picked up Y/N on the way to the restaurant." - Jungkook said as he stuffed his mouth with rice and kimchi. You decided to wait until the meat was ready and then start eating.
"Taehyung, pour me some soju." - You asked him gently, noticing the four bottles on the edge of the table. He smiled kindly and grabbed the bottle closest to him.
"Don't drink on an empty stomach. I'm not going to carry you home on my shoulders." - Jungkook said, still chewing on something. He waved his hand at the shot glass you were holding in your hand and you saw that his knuckles were knocked off. You abruptly put the stack down on the table before Taehyung could finish, causing some soju to spill onto the table. You turned to Jungkook, grabbing his injured arm.
"What happened to your hand?" - You asked with horror in your voice. Jimin and Taehyung looked at you, puzzled. Jungkook wanted to pull his hand out, but you were holding it tightly. Jungkook carefully hid his other hand.
"Hey, did you fight with someone? Let me see your left hand!" - You demanded. Jungkook used a little more force and this time pulled his arm out. You looked at your friend in displeasure. Jungkook looked at you, and then at his friends, who were also looking at him.
"It's nothing. I just fell off my bike." - Jungkook replied, ignoring his friends' looks and continuing to eat. Jimin and Taehyung lost interest as well, the former continuing to grill the meat and the latter starting to eat as well.
"How did you fall off the bike?" - You asked. Of course you didn't believe him. How can you fall so hard that you hurt your knuckles? Or is it possible?
"Simple, I didn't calculate the rise when I parked. I forgot to put on gloves, so I bruised my hands." - Your friend explained indifferently. You continued to look at the wounds on his hand with suspicion. Jimin had already finished grilling some of the meat and put it on your plate first, followed by the rest to everyone else . You didn't notice because you were too busy worrying about Jungkook. He continued to ignore you and stuff his stomach. You sniffled, went back to your plate, and started eating. Why do you care so much if he doesn't care? You hadn't seen Jimin and Taehyung in a long time, so you decided that you would pay more attention to those two and your wonderful dinner.
The friendly get-together was a great decision for you. Jimin and Taehyung were perfect for a casual conversation on a Sunday night. You had fun, delicious food, and warmth. For some reason, Jungkook, who was sitting next to you, hardly participated in your conversations. You found out that Jimin had been promoted last week, and Taehyung told you how he lost a bet with a friend in the military (Taehyung was in the military special forces) and had to do some hellish set of exercises. He also said what it was called, but you didn't remember because you were already a little drunk. What's the point of making excuses, even sober you couldn't remember the name of this exercises. You encouraged your friend, telling him that he would become even cooler and stronger than he was before after the bet. Taehyung almost went to kiss you for that compliment.
Sometimes, when you looked in Jungkook's direction, you noticed that he was constantly texting with someone. And a few times he even went to talk on the phone, although he lied about taking a smoke break. Jungkook did smoke. Although it didn't fit in with his lifestyle and sports, which he was obsessed with, but yes, he smoked. Once in a conversation, he shared that smoking helps him calm his nerves. Don’t good reason, if ask you. There are many other ways to calm your nerves. But if smoking is the only thing that helps Jungkook, what can you do?
In the afternoon, Jungkook was gone all day. He said he had an urgent call to work. Could his distant behavior have something to do with it?
Jungkook returned after another smoke break. When he sat down next to you, you caught the smell of cigarettes and his perfume. It wasn't a good combination, but you liked it. You turned your head to the black-haired guy who was your best friend and roommate. He picked up a shot of soju and drank it in one gulp without even a wince.
You were shocked when he suddenly started drinking after a while of sitting there. Although he didn't mean to at first. He was driving and it was logical. When you protested who would take you home, he said "taxi". You stopped worrying. It's not far anyway, you can walk at least.
Jimin and Taehyung left the table, one to go to the restroom and the other goes to order more appetizers and soju.
In a short moment, Jungkook drank another shot of alcohol. What caught your attention were his bruised knuckles. Some of them were just red, even blue, and the first three were bruised to the point of blood. This was evidenced by the healing wounds covered with a blood crust.
"They should have at least put band-aids on them or something." - Suddenly you said, drawing Jungkook's attention. He gave you a look.
"No need for that." - He smiled. You rolled your eyes.
"Of course, we're so cool. There can't be any infection or contamination at all. You fell on the road. Is asphalt ever sterile?" - You answered sarcastically.
Jungkook smiled, his smile seemed sly. He leaned in and whispered almost in your ear.
"You care about me that much?" - A wave of heat rushed through your body. Your alcohol-red cheeks flushed even more. Your heart started to race. That self-assured, sly smile on his handsome face again.
"Get over yourself, Jeon. I'm just saying the obvious. If you've hurd, you need to take care of yourself." - You said calmly. But if Jungkook could hear your heart beating so fast it could jump out of your chest, you were doomed to fail. Jungkook laughed again, confidently, still too close to you. How he loved this kind of talk. Teasing you was probably his favorite thing to do.
"I’d rather when someone cares about me." - Now it was your turn to laugh. That's what you did when he said. "When we get home, will you take care of me?" - Jungkook whispered in your ear. His breath was hot, and his whisper set your insides on fire. You couldn't give up so easily. He was teasing you and you knew it. This thing was that manner of his, probably the same way he traps the girls who fall into his bed. Ahhh that fox! But you rarely lost in such cases.
"You want me to take care of you, of course I could, but on a condition." - You joked. Jungkook raised his left eyebrow with interest, while playing with a lock of your hair.
"What condition?" - You heard his playful tone.
"You will do me good." - You answered. Jungkook froze, and the curl he was playing with slipped from his finger. "I win," you thought, laughing with difficulty.
Jungkook probably wanted to answer, but his friends came to the table at the same time.
"Just look at them!" - Taehyun said to Jimin with indignation. "And then they say they're not dating. They're openly flirting with each other!" - You straightened up sharply and tried to pull away from Jungkook. Your best friend also returned to his previous position, folding his arms on the table.
"Really. Perhaps you two confess to us at the end. Who is this hypocrisy for?" - Jimin said as he poured soju for everyone. You were outraged. Again, these talks about relationships. Especially from Jimin, who knows that Jungkook fucked another girl this night. If he was in a relationship with you, how could he do that?
"Hey guys, come on!" - You started to get angry. "We've discussed this topic a thousand times. We are not in a relationship. It's never going to happen." - You knocked over a stack of soju Jungkook waiting for anyone to respond. Jungkook looked at you, struck by how harshly you said it.
"Living with him is a nightmare, what kind of relationship you talking about?" - You blurted out. The table became quiet. Everyone was looking at you, trying to understand what you had just said. Jungkook tried to hold back his laughter. You were gave yourself away.
Panic filled your thoughts. But you had to act quickly, given the looks on Taehyung and Jimin's faces. You threw a quick glance at Jungkook, who was almost laughing.
"Do you live together?" - Taehyung asked, squinting his eyes.
"No." - You answered too quickly. "I mean, he's impossible to stand in life, we argue all the time, how would I date him?" - You justified yourself.
"We argue because you're always unhappy about something." - Jungkook suddenly spoke up. He sounded irritated.
"I'm unhappy about something?!" - You punched Jungkook in the ribs. "You're the one who's always acting like a piece of idiot!"
"Okay, okay, calm down." - Jimin tried to calm the two of you down. "Otherwise, people are all staring at us." - You turned away from Jungkook. This guy really annoys you.
"Let's talk about this specifically." - Taehyung began to think out loud. "You've been best friends for a long time. Ever since high school. You went to taekwondo school together. You spend a lot of time together. Have you ever thought about dating?"
"No!" - You and Jungkook said in unison.
"Well, don't you attract Jungkook’s appearance? He was very popular in school and college." - Jimin joined the conversation. You chewed your meat and answered indifferently.
"I know and I've never denied that Jungkook is handsome, but dealing with his character is a mission impossible." - You said. Jungkook started to complain again, exclaiming "what the hell is wrong with my character?!" as Jimin ordered him to be quiet and continued his interrogation.
"You mean you admit that you like him... Appearance!" - Your friend clarified.
"Well, yes. But I don't look at his looks..." - You said. "You know It's like when you eat chocolate every day and it gets tried and you just stop enjoying it, even though it tastes the same. Besides, I always had only one problem with those girls of his. And it continues to this day." - You finally finished. All three guys were puzzled.
"How about you. What do you think Jungkook? Do you like Y/N’s looks then?" - Taehyung asked. Jungkook clicked his tongue.
"What are you guys, matchmakers? Stop asking stupid questions."
"Hey, have you lost your mind? I answered so you answer too!" - You snapped, glaring at your friend.
"So you want to know if I like you, baby?" - Jungkook purred. He was amused that it was you who insisted on answering. You blushed. Him calling you "baby" in front of everyone didn't make it any easier for you.
"I swear, Jeon, I'm going to kill you tonight." - You were seriously angry. And for Jungkook, there was nothing more amusing than your expression right now. He took another drink, keeping the three of you waiting.
"Y/N is hot. And her looks are beautiful." - Jungkook finally said. Hearing those words about yourself is like a miracle. Jungkook really thinks you're hot? Oh my God, you were ready to fall apart. "But she's not my type. So we'll never really have anything with her." - It's like a bucket of cold water was dumped on you after his words. You froze, but there it was expected. Yes, you've always known it. You are not his type and he would never like you. So there's nothing to talk about. You were upset, but you couldn't show it. You faked a laugh to support Jungkook's words.
"You see, there's no way we're going to be able to date. I hope this is the end of the matter." - You said.
"Come on!" - Taehyung persisted. "If you were to live together in the same apartment, wouldn't anything happen between you?"
"Do you mean sex?" - Jungkook asked. You almost choked on the rice bun you were eating. Jimin jumped up to you and gently patted you on the back to save your life.
"Yes. In theory." - Taehyung asked with a sly smile.
"I don't know." - Jungkook shrugged. "In theory, it could happen if we lived together." - It was at that moment that you really thought you were going to die.
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↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 6 months ago
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A fun question your opinion: In each arc, what do you think is the theme of each arc? ( It can be a motif, messages, subject)
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These are a mix of jokes and serious thoughts ^^ just to avoid the post from being too heavy overall!
The Rose-Red Tyrant:
Breaking free from perpetuating a cycle of abuse
You are your own person, not a puppet controlled by your parent/guardian
At the same time, you have to take accountability for your own actions (your background can explain your poor behavior toward others but it does not excuse that behavior)
Control that is too constrictive will only push away potential connections and experiences, keeping you isolated and complacent
Anger management classes are good for you, guys
The Usurper from the Wilds:
Let’s play fairly and be good sports!
Judging people for their merits rather than by titles or birth
What makes someone worthy to lead is noble behavior and attiude
Standing up for what’s morally right, even if everyone else seems to be against you
You have value, worth, and hope in spite of what others may tell you and put you down for
It’s totally okay to get revenge on the asshole that tripped you that one time/j
It’s technically not a crime if you don’t get caught (except Leona did, in fact, get caught)
The Merchant from the Depths:
Don’t be ashamed of your past self—embrace it, accept it, and use it as a point of reference for self growth
Be the bigger person rather than becoming a bully yourself
Let your accomplishments speak for themselves
There is no “easy way out” or shortcut; be prepared to face the consequences of your actions
Not everything is as it may seem (think about the “trick” with Azul’s contracts)
… Read the terms and conditions very carefully and think things over before you sign a contract 💀
Schemer of the Scalding Sands:
Wow, this baby can fit so much generational trauma!!
Sometimes you just miss each other’s messages or greatly misinterpret the other’s intentions (Kalim giving Jamil the benefit of the doubt, Jamil obviously being the Bad Guy and everyone else has to point that out to Kalim)
There’s a very complicated relationship between those in power and those without power; this can breed hatred for those at the top
Talent and skill left unacknowledged can fester into resentment
Institutions of higher education can and will accept monetary bribes, what are you gonna do about it?
Not everyone wants to reconcile and make friends; this is okay and should be more normalized
A Beautiful Tyrant:
You can try your best and work hard, but life doesn’t owe you anything (depressing thought, but unfortunately true)
Beauty is not limited to just one’s looks; beauty can also extend to one’s character and actions
Your worth shouldn’t come from external forces; if you are satisfied with yourself, you will always be “beautiful” no matter how you look or what losses you may experience
Public opinion and the entertainment industry are brutal af
Screw gender norms 😤
The Watchman of the Underworld:
The grieving process in general
Moving on from the past instead of fixating on it and letting the past consume your present and hold you back from a future
Learning to forgive yourself
Reaching out and making new support systems/opening up to others to help you cope
Bearing the sins of your ancestors (Shroud family curse)
The Lord of Malevolence:
Change is inevitable, all good things must come to an end; we must learn to accept them and bravely move toward the future
Love endures, transcending race (Sebek), blood (Silver), and time (Lilia)
Self-sacrificial love (Maleanor for Malleus, Lilia for the other Diasomnia boys, Dawn Knight for his own family, etc.)
Is it “true” happiness if it is a fake reality, a convenient dream?
We hate and fear what we do not understand, even though we have the capacity to
You cannot live forever in a happy fantasy world where none of your loved ones/favorite characters leave you, your trauma doesn’t exist, and everything conveniently pans out how you want it to; sooner or later, you must “wake up” and face reality (this point is particularly meta; it applies both in-game and in the real world, speaking to us players and our relationship with the escapist fictional content we consume)
Prologue: Welcome to the Villains’ World and Overall Main Story:
The power of friendship :))
Revisionist history (cuz… y’know… Great Seven and all)
We’re stronger together than alone
It’s okay to rely on others
We may be very different people from very different backgrounds, but it is still possible for us to understand one another
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your-local-granny · 2 months ago
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okay before i forget. i've been trying to put my finger on why people saying phoenix and maya are 'sibling-coded' pisses me off so much and I think a big part of it is how important mia is to both their introduction and also the foundation of their relationship and how calling phoenix and maya 'siblings/sibling-coded' waters down all of their relationships
phoenix wishing that maya was mia is a very big part of maya's arc as well as a big sticking point in phoenix and maya's relationship. phoenix spends the majority of turnabout sisters wishing that 'the chief' was there and when maya fails to channel her he shows outward disappointment. this is something that maya obviously picks up on and internalizes as we see throughout the rest of the games. most notably maya shows remarkably little self-preservation, throwing herself at von Karma's taser and in contempt of court to help edgeworth (and by extent, phoenix). she openly admits to feeling useless when she can't channel mia and phoenix never refutes this out loud until he of course presents the bullet to her showing that she wasn't useless. phoenix is notably bad at expressing his thoughts/ and feelings so its honestly debatable whether this gets through to maya but thats neither here nor there
on the other side of it, maya wishes that phoenix would be the caring adult figure that she was missing for most of her life (and especially after mia dies) and phoenix does not do a great job of being that figure. he likes her sure, and they're good friends, but he's definitely not nurturing or sensitive whenever maya is in distress. at the end of turnabout sisters when mia tells maya to "take care of phoenix" for her, maya starts calling him nick (because that's what mia said phoenix's friend calls him) and their dynamic for the most part is solidified. maya is not able to find mia in phoenix and accepts him as his own person and a part of her life as a friend.
phoenix has a more complicated journey with viewing maya as her own person partially because of the whole spirit-channeling thing, and partially because maya is younger than both the chief and himself. phoenix is constantly looking to a mentor for guidance and feels out of his depth for most of the cases in the trilogy. he frequently wishes that mia could be there, and is shown to value maya's ideas less, or at the least question them more at face-value. nevertheless, by the second game phoenix relies on maya greatly as shown with how he copes (or fails to cope) with her absence in rfta and 2-4, and 3-5. phoenix views her as both an integral part of his life and support structure, but also views her as someone he has to put on a brave face for, much like pearls. maya is phoenix's young friend that he leans on and wishes to protect.
maya's love for her sister is a core theme that spans the entire trilogy and culminates in maya almost dying in 3-5. phoenix's love for mia is a constant driving force that pushes him past what he believed himself capable of, and encourages him to trust those who become those closest to him. phoenix and maya's relationship is colored by their own relationships to mia, and how they view each others relationship with mia. they both represent a part of her that they never knew as well as a part of her they can keep loving in her place after she is gone, but most importantly, neither of them will ever be mia. no one else can be maya's big sister and no one else can be phoenix's mentor. they meet each other as two strangers set adrift by the same lost mooring, and though they'll never be secure in the way they were before meeting each other, they have a friend to help keep themselves afloat.
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lenaellsi · 10 months ago
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if you take "I can make a difference" at face value you simply must also consider "you're the bad guys.” like they are both vital aspects of aziraphale's decision. the problem is not just aziraphale's attempt to lead a corrupt system, it is also his continued belief in the superiority of heaven and angels over hell and demons. that's why crowley was so hurt. it's not just a miscommunication, or a disagreement on the practicalities of changing hearts and minds in heaven--it is a fundamental misunderstanding of morality and of crowley as a person. if crowley had asked aziraphale to come to hell to help fix it and protect the earth, he would not have gone. he says so. it’s not just about safety, or reform. it is about being Good.
and all of this happens because aziraphale is not just motivated by fear and love: he is also motivated by shame. he is insecure in his identity as an angel and a Good Guy, and both his alienation from heaven and his relationship with crowley have always aggravated this insecurity. it’s why shax’s mockery hit him so hard, and why he’s so susceptible to manipulation from the metatron. he desperately wants to be taken seriously and treated with respect and to have power and be an uncomplicated Good Guy, and that is just as much of a motivating factor in his decision as his desire to protect humanity and crowley.
and re: “appoint you to be an angel”: I know people want to insist that aziraphale has never wanted to change anything about crowley, but I’m sorry, I just don’t think that’s true. over and over in season 2 aziraphale demonstrates a desire to sand the rough edges off people and things for the sake of the Greater Good, without consideration for the free will or complex emotions of others. obviously this tendency culminates in the ball, where he exerts control over all of the humans to make everything perfect for maggie and nina, and in doing so, infringes on their autonomy and nina’s (crowley’s narrative mirror!) capacity to feel her own anger and sadness. and he has never liked that crowley is a demon. in his mind, the problem has always been that crowley was put in the wrong category, not that the entire system of dividing people and angels into Good and Bad is ridiculous. that’s the exact lesson he needs to learn.
and yes, his intentions are good, absolutely. I don’t think aziraphale ever acts out of malice, and I do think he genuinely wants the best for the people around him, particularly crowley. after all, if crowley is accepted as an angel again, as aziraphale has always secretly considered him to be, their relationship can (in his mind) finally stop being so fraught with danger and conflict. (the other side of that, of course, is that aziraphale can also stop being so ashamed for loving someone who is supposed to be Bad, and everything in his life will make sense again, the way it hasn’t since he met that star maker who got so upset about god’s plan.)
but that’s not who crowley is, and it never has been. even before he fell, crowley’s recklessness and relentless questions made aziraphale uncomfortable. their relationship has never been safe or easy, and in wanting to make it so, aziraphale is demonstrating a desire to change the parts of crowley that led to his fall, whether he intends to or not.
I’m rambling, but the point is: the insistence on reframing this moment as a purely selfless, calculated, self-sacrificing decision by aziraphale to protect crowley and the world ignores the uglier parts of the things he said in order to make their eventual reconciliation less complicated, and it’s really frustrating to me. crowley is in fact right to be upset by what he said, and it’s not just a misunderstanding that can be fixed with aziraphale saying “I was only trying to protect you!” and another kiss. it’s a culmination of all of the double think aziraphale has been doing in order to preserve his vision of heaven as The Source Of Truth And Light And Good since before the beginning of time, and it’s time for him to finally unpack it.
(and because every post on the final fifteen needs a disclaimer: aziraphale is trying his best and has an incredible amount of love in his heart and wants so badly to do good and ALSO the things he says, does, and believes can be incredibly hurtful and destructive. all of these things can be true.)
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Hii dillo! I was wondering if you've talked about the gang and their opinions getting married and whatnot, and if you haven't, could you? Thanks a bunch 🫶
A/N: I don't think I've ever done anything like this, so I hope you enjoy it! They're a little repetitive maybe, but I tried my hardest :)
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DARRY CURTIS
I think Dare’s pretty open to the idea of marriage! Especially if he were to find the right person, he’d definitely consider getting down on one knee and popping the question
He’d be hesitant, at least a little bit, no matter how perfect or awesome he thinks you are because he knows his life is a little complicated and he’s not too sure if he really wants to drag someone into that
Like it’s one thing to be dating somebody and have the wild lifestyle Darry has, working multiple jobs to take care of his brothers and looking out for the rest of the boys in the gang, but it’s a whole other thing to actually be married into that
When he does propose though, I’d bet a lot of money that he would use his mama’s old ring cause ya know, it’s got that big sentimental value to him
I don’t think he’d have a big flashy proposal or even a big flashy wedding, just something sort of subdued and private so it’s a big moment for the two of you mostly, not a moment for everyone else-
His best man would probably be Sodapop, I’m thinking probably, I just love the idea of the two of them standing next to each other at the end of the aisle  
SODAPOP CURTIS
Sodapop is incredibly pro-wedding, and I mean incredibly pro-wedding, he wants absolutely nothing more than to have a nice wedding and settle down with the one he loves
I’m talking like- y’all could be dating for two weeks at most and you just do something small and sweet like bring him lunch at work and this boy’s hearing wedding bells and making plans
He just really loves you ya know? He loves hard and he falls fast and from the moment he sees you for the first time, he can picture his whole life with you, I’m not even joking
If y’all remember Sandy, if you care about Sandy at all or don’t remember her, I don’t really know, but I think she’d have a big impact on how he looks at marriage, especially if you’re the first person he’s going with after her
Like he’d be absolutely head over heels for you, but he’d hold back a little more in the relationship because he doesn’t wanna be hurt like that again
The hesitation wouldn’t last long, because he’s Sodapop and he’s like that, but if something went wrong, he’d remember the Sandy drama and be a little concerned about your future 
PONYBOY CURTIS
Imma start off by saying that Ponyboy is honestly a little too young to be spending his time concerned about marriage and honestly probably doesn’t spend much time planning a future wedding
This boy has his head in the clouds most of the time or his nose tucked in a book so I doubt marriage his high on his priority list, but I think he’d want to get married eventually
Similar to Sodapop, Ponyboy’s quick to fall for someone, which is something he’s not proud of, but like- he can develop a crush in about two seconds flat and be hopelessly pining over you within an hour of seeing you for the first time
But, he’s not gonna start wedding planning until a long while, he’s less concerned with figuring out what kind of wedding you’re going to have and more concerned on trying to get you to go out to the movies with him on Friday night
And even though it’s a long way away, Ponyboy knows he’s not going to have a big deal wedding, it’s probably just going to be a small affair either in his hometown or yours
His side of the room is probably gonna be filled with greasers and a few school friends he’s made over the years, but ya know, either way, it’s gonna be a really sweet wedding and he’s gonna make it all soft and sweet <3 
DALLAS WINSTON
To those of you who are fans of Dally…well, I apologize, cause bein’ honest with y’all, marriage isn’t a high priority on this boy’s list-
You could be dating for a million years, living in the same place, falling asleep and waking up next to each other every day, and getting married wouldn’t probably ever cross his mind unless you said something about it
Dal’s not anti-marriage per se, he just doesn’t see the need for it, especially if things are going just fine between the two of you, ya know? Why risk what you’ve got for something you don’t really need?
Most of his hesitations come from a minor fear of commitment and also just a general lack of care for doing things the traditional way, but the commitment problems do play a part in that, he’s afraid of tying himself down and dragging you down with him
If you did get married? It’d be down at the courthouse with the boys watching over you, teasing you both mercilessly the whole time
Also! When he gets hauled in and you show up to bail him out, he will refer to you as if you were married because sometimes he likes to be an asshole and mess with the officers who’ve tossed him in jail
JOHNNY CADE
Getting married? With you? Yeah, he’d consider going out and getting married and stuff, but it’d take him a very, very, very long time to work up to it, not dragging his feet, just trying to figure out if it’s worth it 
Not ‘cause of you, just ‘cause he’s seen what can happen in marriages, look at literally everyone’s parents, and he’s worried about that becoming the two of you guys, he loves you too much for that to happen, ya know?
Also because he’s like- way nervous- the boys have to constantly tell him that they’re pretty confident you’re gonna say yes when Johnny pops the question (sometime in the far future folks, he’s just a child)
Ironically, it’ll probably be Dally that final gets through to him, Mr. Almost-Anti-Wedding himself, mostly because he’s tired of Johnny stressing himself over a proposal you’re probably definitely going to say yes to
So eventually, he might ask you, but it’s gonna be a real private proposal, just the two of you. And the wedding wouldn’t be anything fancy either, probably down to the courthouse with the rest of the folks and then going out to celebrate afterward at the Curtis household
He’d be a good husband, I think, because after all, what is the position of a husband but that of a glorified boyfriend?? Johnny is a great boyfriend! He’d be a good husband!
TWO-BIT MATHEWS
Despite the hot mess of his parent’s marriage, Two-Bit does wanna get married and I think he’d start thinking about marrying you from the get-go, I’m talking as soon as he laid eyes on you, he knew you two were gonna get hitched-
Does he have any sort of solid plan? Absolutely not. He just knows he’s head over heels for you and is willing to get married whenever you want to say yes to him
Like he’s regularly gonna ask you to marry him but it’s more in that way of, you did something nice and he looks at you with heart eyes and asks you to marry him
Two’d really love a white picket fence life I think, or at least, he’d think about settling down with you one day, coming home to you every night, waking up in the same bed as you every morning, maybe raising a few kids, having a dog or two-
He’s not in a real rush to get married though, as enthusiastic as he is about it, he’s willing to wait until whenever you wanna go and get married, though he might hit you with a promise ring at some point in the game
The wedding wouldn’t be anything too fancy, just your people and his people, all gathered together to become one big family, he’d probably have one of the boys as his best man and his little sister would definitely be your flower girl if she was young enough still when y’all got married 
STEVE RANDLE
Similar to Two-Bit, he doesn’t have great experience with marriage, Steve’s parent’s relationship is kind of rocky to say in the least and he doesn’t have a great foundation to base it on, but he’d love to get married
His biggest fear about being married to be honest, is turning into his father, but he knows, deep down that he’s not ever gonna end up like that guy 
The only thing stopping him from getting married is finding someone to get hitched to, ya know? But along came you and…well we all know you guys are gonna be endgame
Steve and Sodapop, out of all the boys, are definitely the most likely to be the youngest to get married, if they’ve found someone to marry, neither of them see any reason to delay it any longer?
I’m getting this mental image of you swinging by the DX to drop off lunch for Steve or something, maybe you just came by to say hi, and some guy had been eyeing you, asking Steve who you are, and Steve’s like “My future spouse, actually”
You’d have a nice little wedding, maybe just a courthouse affair, but it’d be real sweet and he’d clean up just for you, no grease or motor oil in sight, his hair combed back all swirly and stuff, he just looks real good
TIM SHEPARD
Now I’ve got tons of opinions about a married Tim Shepard, mostly because I’ve talked about a married Tim Shepard at length with a very dear friend of mine (hello to Sophie, one of my bestest buds)
But anyway, Tim would totally get married, just as long as he found someone worth getting married to, but it’d take him a while until he finally asks, he takes his time, takes it slow, and doesn’t really rush into it
Most of his hesitation is just his assumption that maybe you don’t wanna get married, or maybe you weren’t gonna stick around forever, and he’s real worried about pulling you into his world, worried that you’re not gonna like staying
Especially cause like- he knows he’s got it rough, he lives on the rougher side of town, runs a gang for crying out loud, he knows he can’t always give you everything that you might want, but he’d sure try, and he’d do whatever he could to make you happy
When you guys get hitched, Curly would be his best man, no doubt in my mind, and he’d have Angela on his side too if she isn’t already standing on your side of the ceremony
He doesn’t really want a big fancy ceremony or anything? Whatever you want is more than fine to him, he just wants to marry you, he doesn’t care how it happens as long as you’re happy with it 
CURLY SHEPARD
Curly’s one of the ones who everyone thought was never gonna get married and settle down with somebody, but from the second he started bringing you around, everyone knew it’d only be a matter of time before you two got married
He wasn’t too sure about getting married at first? Didn’t have any sort of attachment to the idea or plans for getting married, but he changed those plans when you two got together
Curl’s absolutely obsessed with you from the get-go and the first time Tim meets you, he knows that there’s going to be a wedding at some point for the two of you, everyone sees it coming
Again, his parent’s marriage kinda sucked, but Curly’s one for taking stuff his own way and he was determined not to screw up your marriage either, even though he knows not everything is going to be perfect
When you get married, it’s definitely not going to be anything big or fancy or anything, but it’s going to feel like a real special day because it is a real special day and I’m gonna be honest with you, you’re going have a great time with everyone there
Curly sees you for the first time and he cries, not full-out crying but his eyes tear up quite a bit and Tim teases him about it for the rest of his life because who knew such tough hoods were really softies?
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waterfae · 2 months ago
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A Good Pillow [Part 1]
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Summary: A glimpse of your budding friendship with Ominis and your growing feelings after the events in the Scriptorium.
Pairings: Ominis Gaunt x Reader, Sebastian Sallow x Reader
Warnings: canon-typical violence, mild language, angst, comfort, fluff, friends-to-lovers, unhinged Slytherins, complicated relationships, house-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, no beta
Word Count: 2.4+ K
Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
|| General Masterlist || Hogwarts Legacy Masterlist ||
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“Sleep on now I heard that a knee makes a good pillow when you’re down” - Meg and Dia
Calloused fingers lightly trailed down the Slytherin’s face, making their way down from the top of his forehead to his ears, past the beauty marks, towards his jaw and finally back up again to his lips. How? You wondered, pausing your ministrations. How did this young man manage to capture your heart so quickly? Almost as quickly as the rise of his temper upon catching you step out from the Undercroft for the first time. He had scolded, threatened you even with his family’s connections...over some secret room?
You let out a soft laugh and gently shook your head at the memory. Of course, you found out later that it was much more than a simple secret hideaway and it held greater sentimental value than you initially thought; something Sebastian had warned you of, but never paid mind to the actual profundity of it. In defeat, you closed your eyes and tilted your head back as Ominis continued to sleep – his head still resting upon your lap.
Deep down you knew the answer to your question; you had always known and had it not been for certain insecurities, you may have admitted it much sooner. You were an unknown, late-bloomer just starting out on your journey, still trying to figure things out and find your place in this new world that was thrust upon you. He was a pure-blood of the very much established House of Gaunt, descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself, and had already been honing his skills his entire life. Yet, despite your unfortunate first interaction and the rumors whispered among the other students, you found him to be of a kind heart and an ever loyal friend – albeit ill-tempered. His good looks only further helped his case. It was difficult to not be attracted. And it wasn’t until your adventure in the Scriptorium that you finally permitted these intruding thoughts. After numerous attempts to reach out and assure him that you were a genuine friend and that you too cared for Sebastian deeply – he finally folded.
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“Are you alright?” Ominis suddenly asked one day after History of Magic.
“What do you mean?” You questioned, continuing the task of placing all your belongings into your book bag. You were surprised he even acknowledged you, “It’s Binn’s class. You know how difficult it is to stay fo-”
“That’s not what I meant.” He replied sternly.
You paused, grip tightening around the books still in your hands, and it dawned on you what he was referring to, “Oh.”
Several days had passed since the incident and not a word was spoken between either of you, regardless of all the classes you had together. It was simply something you could not – should not – discuss, especially out in the open. Nor did you think it appropriate to speak with him of such things. Yes, he aided with the search, but had your relationship with Ominis even reached that level? Sebastian was usually the one you went to, but he was currently preoccupied with Slytherin’s spellbook and you weren’t sure if you were ready to face the person who had cast the Cruciatus Curse on you, even if you had volunteered. At least, not yet.
“Are you alright?” He asked again more softly, “I should have inquired about your well-being sooner, but I was never quite sure of how appropriate it may be.”
It appeared that Ominis had been having the same thoughts. You didn’t realize he cared enough to even consider it and it warmed your heart.
“Ah, well I…” Your voice trailed, the memory of the curse hitting you flashed through your mind, causing you to wince. You were aware of what the curse was suppose to do, but actually experiencing it was on another level; an experience you were not keen on repeating.
You inhaled deeply, finished packing up the rest of your things, and decided to reply with the same sentiment you had upon opening the door to that study, “I survived.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“What do you want me to say, Ominis?” Your voice was low and hurried as your eyes scanned the classroom. You wanted to be sure there was no one else around listening, “This is hardly the place to be having this conversation.”
“The Undercroft then-”
“No.” You noticed Ominis cock an eyebrow at your terse response. Before he could voice the question, you preemptively explained, “I just don’t know how to face Sebastian right now, okay? Especially with what’s happened...what keeps happening.” You looked up with pleading eyes, though he could not see them, “The Undercroft is going to be the most likely place he will be and I’d rather not risk it.”
“Hm...well, that certainly explains why you’ve been acting so odd lately, especially in the classes you have with him. He won’t shut up about it.” He contemplated your reasoning, pacing for a few moments before finally uttering, “Very well.”
“I do know of another place we could go, if you’d like to continue.” You stepped forward and gently reached out to place a hand on his arm, “I can take you, but you mustn't tell a soul.”
He responded with a curt nod and you proceeded to take his hand, leading him out of the classroom and toward the seventh floor of the Astronomy Tower.
The trek was a long and silent one as you pulled him along. You didn’t think he would have allowed it for as long as he did and suspected that at some point, he would simply let go and brandish his wand – allow the pulsing red light to lead him the rest of the way. But his wand remained tucked within his robes and his hand in yours. There were moments of awkwardness as you neared your destination; marked by the whispers of your fellow students (and even some ghosts) who could not help but notice as the pair of you walked past hand-in-hand.
“With the Gaunt boy?” You heard one say while the other tsked.
Leander didn’t help matters as he hollered across the corridor, “Sallow finally fall out of favor, eh new fifth year!”
You let out a groan and hastened yours steps.
“Where have you taken me?” Ominis asked, when you finally came to halt.
“Astronomy Tower. Seventh floor.” You replied. You lightly tugged him to follow you once more and led him through the door, “It’s called the Room of Requirement.” You scanned the room upon passing through the threshold and found yourself thankful that Deek was nowhere in sight; running errands for Professor Weasley, you presumed, “You think the Undercroft was the only place I’ve been able to practice and catch up with the rest of you lot?”
“No, not at all.” Ominis finally let go of your hand and whipped out his wand wanting to get a better sense of the room, “I’ve heard you did all that whilst gallivanting across the Scottish Highlands, raiding poacher camps, and running errands for our dear Duncan Hobhouse.” He turned to you with a smirk.
Your face warmed, reddened no doubt, as he called you out for your extracurricular activities. Word certainly traveled fast around this school. You chose not to reply. Instead, you plopped down on one of the plush couches and busied yourself with the hem of your skirt. He followed suit and sat down beside you, pocketing his wand once more.
“You still haven’t given me a proper answer.” He stated after a few moments of silence. You turned your head to face him. He was looking in your general direction, though not quite looking at you. “You have become an important person to Sebastian, just as he is to me.” He reached out searching air until his hands finally came down upon your own, “Now, I don’t know if you’d call this – what we have right now – a friendship quite yet, but you have proven yourself and I believe it to be a budding one.”
“I’d like for it to be.”
“Then be honest with me!” He gave your hand a hard squeeze. His voice had risen slightly, but the expression on his features was not of anger – it was of concern, “Difficult as it may be to believe, but I do care. Why do you think I’m so cross with you two?”
You stared at Ominis, his hands still tightly grasping your own. You were returning the gesture just as tightly and finally took notice of the feeling that had been welling up inside of you: longing. To be heard. To be comforted. And for once, not be asked of another favor. Even for just a small moment. His gesture gave you the permission to do that which the rest of the world and even yourself seemed to prohibit.
“I haven’t been able to sleep.” You finally whispered shakily, allowing for your truth to flow, “The evenings come, but rest does not. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is that look on Sebastian’s face. You said so yourself, in order to use those curses you have to mean it. And I don’t want to think that he meant me harm, but -” You paused, thinking of the words you had just spewed, then quickly shook your head, “Oh Ominis, please don’t get me wrong. I’m not scared of Sebastian. If anything, I’m scared for him. He doesn’t know when to stop!”
“This is precisely why I told you both to not even start!” He retorted, harshly at first before taking a deep breath and willing himself to reign it back; you were clearly already distraught, “Why keep delving into this madness?”
“I know, Ominis! I know!” You cried in exasperation, “I was only trying to be a supportive friend; just as he has always been supportive of me. I feel for him; thought we were kindred spirits, but now...now I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to dissuade him, show him that perhaps there’s another way to help Anne. But he just continues on and on about that damned book! He knows that if I could just-” You gasped, quickly realizing that you had almost spoken about the ancient magic.
Something inside you snapped then. In the end, you couldn’t be completely honest with him and it was maddening. The tears began to well up along with the frustration and your body trembled from trying to keep it at bay. But it was of no use. That tiny crack that you had allowed was enough for the pressure to completely break through.
“Why is this happening?!” You wailed as the sobs finally wracked through your body. “There’s so much going on! Why is there so much going on?! And why must it be me?” The shrill of your voice was deafening. “I’m only fifteen. This was not what I thought it was going to be. This was not how I pictured my time at Hogwarts!”
The tears flowed freely and you continued to wail incoherently as a child would. Ominis was taken aback by your sudden outburst and had a sneaking suspicion that you were no longer only talking about Sebastian. Not knowing what else to do in your current state, he opted to pull you towards him and wrap his arms around you. He held your body tightly against his and you instinctively buried your face into his chest, your sobs muffled by his cloak. He whispered reassurances softly into your ear through all your crying and gently rubbed your back in an effort to soothe you.
You didn’t know how long you stayed with him like this, but somehow in the midst of it, you had fallen asleep. When you woke, your head was resting upon Ominis’s lap and it was already dark; the moon above being your only light source. He too had fallen asleep with one arm lazily draped across your waist and his other hand entangled in your hair.
You shifted and pushed yourself into a sitting position while you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. This in turn caused Ominis to stir from his own rest and adjust his position.
“Sleep well?” He asked groggily.
Rather than answer his question, you replied with embarrassment, “I apologize. For my behavior earlier.”
“Don’t. It was clearly something you needed.” He turned towards you, “Do you feel better?”
You gave a small smile and nodded, “A little. Yes.”
“Good.” He scooted closer, his knee brushing up against yours, “Sometimes a good cry is all you need. And a good pillow.” He sensed your questioning gaze and added, “I heard a knee can make a rather good pillow when one feels down.”
You let out a small laugh and gently bumped your shoulder into his.
“Thank you, Ominis.”
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What to do now? You silently asked yourself. Some time had passed since that day. You had managed to patch things up with Sebastian for the time being and your friendship with Ominis only grew. Enough so that even Sebastian had taken notice and inquired why his best friend kept asking about you lately.
You agonized during that time over your predicament once you realized that perhaps what you desired was a little more than friendship. Should you tell him of your revelation? But if you did, what would that entail? Would you have to tell Ominis of your abilities? What of your mission? The keepers? You were relieved to have finally gained his trust and acceptance, but would it be too much to pull him into that fray? Things were difficult enough as they were and it was a breath of fresh air to have someone that never asked much from you. Should you even be allowing yourself to indulge in such things with everything happening around you?
Ominis stirred, tearing you away from your spiraling thoughts and causing you to look back down at him. He shifted his weight ever so slightly, giving you a better view of his lovely features. He then let out a small cough before nuzzling back into your lap. The positioning grew more uncomfortable and you wondered how he had managed to do the same for you that memorable afternoon. As the minutes passed, you could feel your legs going numb, but you dared not wake him, not when he looked so at ease. You had grown accustomed to the stern looks and judging glances he so often gave you and Sebastian. That look of peacefulness did not come often and you wanted to cherish it. And so, you decided to keep that peace; bottle up those worries for yourself and hopefully, one day, the answers would come. But for now, Ominis continued with his slumber and you with your silent admiration before you too nodded off to sleep.
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a/n: As stated in an earlier post, I'll be cross-posting this fic from my AO3 account, so please bear with me as I reformat and attempt to catch you all up without overwhelming the feed. I hope you enjoy it as much as my AO3 readers have. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated and my askbox is always open. ♡
The quote is actually a lyric from "How Much" by Meg & Dia which is what initially inspired me to write about her and Ominis sleeping on each others' laps. 🤭
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heliza24 · 1 year ago
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Wow, so much happened and got set up in that episode! I really liked how layers and stakes were added to each PC’s conflict, in a way that made them more complicated than we could have predicted after last week’s ep. There was really an unexpected twist for each character. Adaine’s economic conflict (and by extension, conflict around whether she trusts Aelwyn or Jawbone or neither to help) now has huge consequences for her grades, which she values highly and seemed like a thing that would never be in question. Fig now has an artistic rival, who is challenging her cool kid status and confidence. We knew she had academic trouble, but her standing as a rockstar didn’t seem in doubt— but now it is. We anticipated that Fabian would be dealing with some degree of neglect, but that he would take advantage of his empty house to party (and to maybe get some kisses in, his new crush is so cute) until his teacher specifically tells him that won’t be allowed. We anticipated Gorgug having difficulty balancing his majors, but we didn’t expect him to be barred from multiclassing at all, and possibly being forced to pick between the class gifted to him by his biological versus adopted parents. We knew Riz was going to be stressed about keeping the group together, but we didn’t know he was going to be handed a whole rival adventuring party in the form of the Rat Grinders, and that conversation with Jawbone once again highlighted how much he is refusing to be vulnerable about how difficult this year is really going to be. We knew that Kristen needed to get her academics and relationship with Cassandra sorted, but we (or at least I!) didn’t expect to see her parents and to have her brother back in her orbit at school. (I really loved that scene.)
And of course the biggest surprise, for us and the PCs I would imagine— Kalina is back! I am *fascinated* by this choice. I think it’s another example of Brennan bucking the traditional adventure story format- once you defeat a villain they’re supposed to stay dead. So I’m really interested in how he’s going to weave her in to this story. What’s her purpose when she’s no longer a big bad?
I do really like how all of the conflicts connect both the PC’s home life and school life, and raise questions about their blood and chosen families. I think the most challenging thing about this season— especially if no big bad, driving quest emerges— will be making the whole thing feel thematically cohesive. Even if each of the bad kids are on their own arc, I want to feel like their stories complement and illuminate each other. That feels like a pretty big challenge with all that’s being set up, but I think they can definitely pull it off. I’m excited to see what unfolds next!
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a little self-indulgent, but may I request Full headcanons of M6 reacting (and accommodating?) to MC who's easily jealous and possessive due to their trauma? (for example, MC got cheated on before and now they can't bear the thought of M6 doing the same to them, if it makes sense.)
thanks!
The Arcana HCs: When MC struggles with jealousy
Julian
Cheating simply Does Not Occur to him. It doesn't enter his mind
Seriously. He doesn't doubt his capacity to be attractive, but for such a complicated person, experiencing love is a straightforward matter for him. He loves you. Why bother with anything else?
Of course, if it's a source of pain for you, then it's a concern for him too. He's had his fair share of unhealthy relationships and isn't in the dark about just how badly cheating will mess someone up
He's also the type to overthink things, so once you bring it up as your own issue, he's naturally taking it on as his issue too
He wouldn't! ... but now he's going to go out of his way to prove to himself that he's not the kind of person who would
It also drives the point home to him just how precious it is to have your trust (and why he really should have never tried to briefly dump you on the docks). That did need some discussing
In general, he's so transparent and talkative with you that there's nobody in his life you don't know about. If he has a high opinion of them, he's already trying to get you two to be friends as well
And if you ever worry that someone else is better for him, he will take that as a challenge to outdo your sense of unworthiness /j
Asra
They would never. You know this. They know this. Every citizen in Vesuvia knows this. The major Arcana know this
But the horrible thing about traumas and fears is that they don't have to be rational to hurt you, and Asra knows that too
Your relationship actually went through quite the rough patch with this at first. Asra's plenty familiar with heartbreak, but he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body and struggles to understand it
What's more, their own traumas make them practically allergic to feeling controlled or trapped in any way, which doesn't help their love of being mysterious and unpredictable
Which, of course, only fed your anxieties, and in turn left him easily triggered if you tried to get a solid answer out of him about what he'd been up to all day on his spontaneous solo side quests
What's most important, though, is that they love you with everything they are, and they're dedicated to helping you heal and being the best partner they can as they build a happy life with you
It's a catalyst for both of you to confront and work through your traumas together - your jealousy, and his fear of constancy
They do find telling you all about their day is actually lots of fun
Nadia
She is so glad you're bringing this up
Would she ever cheat? Absolutely not. She takes relational boundaries very seriously and what she has with you is a kind of love and safety and closeness she's waited for her whole life
However, while she and Lucio never cheated on each other, they did have an open marriage which meant other lovers were in the picture, and knowing you're not comfortable with that is important
She will happily get into the nitty gritty of past grievances and unsatisfying relationships and the details of every boundary
She also strongly values your sense of safety and security with her, and if there's any little things she can do to equip you to battle your demons, she will happily do them. Just tell her what helps
However, it is also very important to her to clarify that your jealousy is your situation talking and not a slight on her character
Because if it helps you heal to see her be transparent with you, she'll practically become glass, but if you start questioning her own intentions and moral code, you're not giving her space to do right
Can and will set things up so you can watch her beat down anybody flirting with her in real time (and kiss you afterwards)
Muriel
Cheating is an entirely foreign concept to him and the fact that someone would actually do that is completely horrifying to him
He is so, so sorry you had to find out what that was like
He's also baffled about how that could even happen. In his case, you're the first person he's even considered having a relationship like this with. Who else would he even want to be with?
The first time you express any insecurity or jealousy about him specifically, he's a little thrown. Just the thought of betraying you like that disgusts him, do you really distrust him that much?
Of course, that's his own traumas and insecurities affecting him, and he knows better than anyone how poor past experiences make him fear hurt from his loved ones which he knows they'd never do
If you have the patience to soothe him when he flinches from your sudden movements or unexpected happy shouts, he easily has the patience to reassure you of your importance and safety with him
He'll also hold a grudge even bigger than yours against whoever gave you that relational trauma. In his mind, they have a reserved spot right next to Lucio in the not-fun part of the afterlife
Still doesn't know who else would find him desirable anyways
Portia
Oh, she gets it. She doesn't necessarily experience this to the level that you do, but she certainly relates on multiple counts
Feeling left behind by a loved one and struggling not to be insecure about it? Check. It's why she's so free to steal Julian's kneecaps
Feeling like she's just the good option people pick until they find their ideal option? Feeling like it's just a matter of time until she gets dropped again, no matter how well-meaning that person is?
Yeah, she gets you. Not to mention that it's a little hard not to compare herself to the incredible people you're friends with who would all clearly love to be the focus of your affections
The fact that you feel this too is such a relief. You two are about to spend so many hours on her couch with tea and baked treats while you talk about your similar experiences and unpack those feelings
And honestly, hearing you voice your doubts gives her space to voice hers. You can be open about how she's clearly the Countess's favorite and she can be open about your past roommate setup
If either of you finds it just a little bit attractive when you get to flaunt your relationship at ambassador events when another partygoer gets a bit too friendly - well - it's a guilty pleasure
Lucio
Look, he knows he's not a shining example of a model citizen, but he wouldn't disrespect the boundaries of someone he loves
At the same time, his assumptions about what those boundaries are aren't exactly monogamous. Will he be in a closed, exclusive relationship with you if those are your boundaries? Absolutely!
Will he need you to explicitly tell him that those are your boundaries? Also yes. Otherwise he might randomly ask how you feel about inviting a new friend to go on a date with you two
He's still working on his emotional intelligence, too, so the chances of him understanding the relational trauma aspect of that are slim
However, he understands the insecurity. You could leave him tomorrow and as heartbroken and betrayed as he'd feel, deep down he wouldn't be able to find it in himself to blame you
The last thing he wants to make you feel is less than or unworthy. You are worth so, so very much and you deserve only the best
Because he's still learning new habits, accountability is something he finds as uncomfortable as he does necessary and while he doesn't need it in this area, he still values it
Still needs reassurances that you don't think he'd actually do that
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oddyseye · 11 days ago
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Things I did NOT like in the Ithaca Saga.
Okay, it was fine, but there were just...choices... There’s just stuff in that section that had me rolling my eyes so hard I thought they’d get stuck.
First up: "Hold Them Down." I get that Epic is trying to make the suitors worse villains, but the way they went about it was disgusting. That song outright says the suitors were planning to force themselves on Penelope, which is not even remotely in the Odyssey. Yes, the suitors are terrible — they’re greedy, arrogant, would-be killers who exploit her hospitality — but this crosses a line that feels like shock value rather than staying true to the source material. They included that song, but erased Calypso’s actions toward Odysseus? In the Odyssey, she held him captive for years and forced him into a relationship. That is literally such an important part of the story. Yet, not only did Epic omit it, but they also banned people from even discussing it in their Discord server. How does that make sense? You can explore one kind of assault but not acknowledge the other, especially when the one they ignored was actually canon? The double standard is infuriating, and it completely undermines the narrative’s integrity. Yet somehow this suitor nonsense made the cut? Make it make sense, because I can’t. Next, Telemachus. Why did they do my boy so dirty? In the Odyssey, he was brave, capable, and growing into his own. He fought beside Odysseus, killed suitors, and even comes this close to stringing Odysseus’ old bow, which is supposed to be impossible for anyone but...well. Odysseus. That’s a huge moment! It shows how much he’s grown and how much of Odysseus’ strength and legacy he carries within him. But in Epic? They turned him into some weak, helpless little thing who can’t do anything without Odysseus. Like, hello? Telemachus isn’t just Odysseus’ son; he’s a fighter, a prince, and a man trying to defend his home. Stripping that away to make Odysseus look like more of a hero is just lazy and disrespectful to the original story. They took away his courage, his growth, and his ability to hold his own. It’s like they didn’t trust the audience to see Odysseus as a hero unless Telemachus was made to look useless by comparison. And then we get to Odysseus and Athena. What even was that? Yes, the idea that Odysseus has become a “monster” is a fascinating angle—he’s been through so much that revenge, violence, and survival have completely overtaken who he once was. But Ithaca does nothing to earn this shift, and it outright ignores the groundwork laid in earlier sagas. Two sagas ago, we saw Odysseus at his lowest. He was stranded on Calypso’s island, completely defeated, and begging Athena for help. Let me say that again: begging. And this wasn’t just any goddess he was calling out to — this was the mentor who had abandoned him as a student. She had walked away, and he still reached out, still trusted her to save him when no one else could. That moment showed Odysseus’ faith in Athena and their deep, complicated bond. Calypso.
And Athena? She didn’t just listen—she fought for him. She went up against Zeus himself to make sure Odysseus could leave that island. She defied the king of the gods because she believed in him. Odysseus doesn’t know that detail, but we do, and it makes her devotion to him so much more impactful. She risked everything to give him another chance at life, at home, at redemption.
Fast-forward to Ithaca, and what do we get? Athena shows up, vulnerable and introspective, questioning the path they’ve taken and the world they’ve built, and Odysseus just brushes her off. He doesn’t just say no — he dismisses her entirely. His response boils down to, “Not my problem. I’ve got a wife to see.” Excuse me, now? This is the same man who was crying out for her intervention just two sagas ago. The same man whose survival has always depended on his intelligence, resourcefulness, and the help of others — Athena most of all. Now he’s too proud to even engage with her? It doesn’t track. It’s inconsistent, and it cheapens their relationship. She’s opening her heart, showing her vulnerability, wondering if there’s still a way for them to fix what they’ve broken. She didn’t owe him anything, but she did it because she believed in him, because she had invested in him from the start. So for him to now completely disregard her — when she’s in front of him, showing empathy and pain — feels like a betrayal of everything that came before. Odysseus’ monster arc didn’t need to erase Athena. In fact, rejecting the one person who literally raised him, who fought for him, who saved him so many times, doesn’t even make sense for his character. That’s not the arc of a man who’s become a monster; that’s just cruelty for cruelty’s sake.
This is someone who has given everything to Odysseus, and in this moment, she’s realizing that the person she fought for is no longer the man she thought he was. And that’s what’s tragic.
But Ithaca doesn’t explore that. Instead, it uses Odysseus’ rejection as a cheap plot point, stripping away the emotional weight of his relationship with Athena. She was the woman who raised him, who guided him, who saved him — and they reduced her to a mere plot device to show how “monster-ified” Odysseus has become. It’s lazy, it’s cruel, and it completely disregards the depth of their bond. The pain in Athena’s voice, the heartbreak in her words, is completely wasted.
Odysseus doesn’t need to be a monster who rejects Athena to be a tragic figure. The tragedy would have been in him choosing revenge and violence at the cost of his humanity, not in cutting ties with the one person who raised him into the hero he became. Ithaca could’ve explored that, but instead, it gave us a shallow, hollow portrayal that didn’t respect the characters, their history, or the emotional weight of their relationship. Ithaca is a hot mess, and it’s honestly embarrassing. It had all this potential, and yet it chose to phone it in with lazy writing and shallow plot twists. It throws out big ideas and then does nothing with them, leaving us with empty, unearned moments that just fall flat. Instead of digging into anything meaningful, it relies on cheap drama to get a reaction. The story feels rushed, disconnected from the other sagas, and like the creators couldn’t be bothered to put in the work. They had an opportunity to make something impactful and then just decided to half-ass it. If you're looking for a mess of missed potential, Ithaca is your go-to. That being said, the songs are sick and I will sob again over the last song. Thank you.
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sophie-frm-mars · 9 months ago
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Hi, ex-supporter here. Genuinely hope you’re doing well. I have been tempted to start up my support again because you genuinely are a talented writer/creator and I do enjoy your work.
I hope you understand supporting your Patreon is somewhat fraught. Your private life should be none of our business, but sadly it is relevant here. Moral action, both private and political is central to your work; you have called out plenty of people for abuse & morality drives your politics. We know abuse took place on your end, but that’s all.
A lot of people like myself might be emotionally rooting for you to bounce back from this, but are unable to support you right now because that moral dissonance has not been resolved. We really don’t know if you are like other ‘cancelled’ leftist influencers and just use leftist values to deflect attention away from abuse, or you are actually trying to do better and working on yourself.
You don’t owe us anything. However, many of us who are eager to support you are forced to hold back because trust has been damaged, and there has not been any real sign of reparation or reconciliation. Maybe you think those kind of questions are invasive, maybe you don’t think we are real fans for not sticking by you despite the allegations.
I don’t know, I just want you to know that there are plenty of people who do want to support you, but feel they need to trust you first. And that can’t happen without addressing some things.
Anyways, best wishes. Take care.
Hiya, thank you for speaking to me on this.
Before I say the rest of what I say I want to be clear that between me and the people I was involved with in 2023, there were some instances where I was responsible for harm, there were instances where I received harm and there was also a general pervasive ecosystem of harmful behaviours in the community I was in. This includes people who signed the statement against me, and in one instance one of them did something which everyone to whom I have described it has agreed is sexual assault, though there is more besides.
For the time being I'm not talking publicly more about what happened because it was a very messy situation, and although I have been seriously harmed by issues in my personal life being litigated in public in this way, I don't want to give my full account of my relationships with everyone involved because I don't want that type of harm to be done to other trans women. There are plenty of complicating factors as there often are in real life that social media isn't really capable of parsing. I have made it clear repeatedly that I am open to hearing anything that people involved want to say to me, and I talked in this post in January about that and about what I would be doing to ensure that I put in the work and make sure I don't cause harm like it again
https://x.com/sophie_frm_mars/status/1745414530455261531
I think that that post says everything I would like to say for now, although I regret saying I agree that my behaviour was abusive, because with more distance and perspective I don't think abusive behaviour was actually described to me.
As I understand it via the support that my therapist and friends have offered, my problems in 2023 were that: I wasn't taking my mental health seriously, I didn't learn good kink practice, I had very little appreciation of my own boundaries and when I shouldn't be doing something that someone asks me to do, and I was high basically all the time. I am in therapy and doing DBT and taking my mental health deadly seriously, I have done a huge amount of reading assigned by my therapist about kink, sex, relationships and mental health, I am working in an ongoing way on learning how to effectively communicate, know my boundaries and understand myself well enough to not be in the kinds of situations that risk harm, and I'm no longer high all the time.
(If anyone is interested in those book recs, so far I've read: Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again by Katherine Angel; The Right To Sex by Amia Srinivasan; Screw Consent (I hate this edgy title) by Joseph Fischel; Playing Well With Others; The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren; I Hope We Choose Love by Kai Cheng Thom; The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy; and Dissociation Made Simple by Jamie Marich. There have been some others, and I've written a bit about them in the book club channel on my discord as I've been reading)
I haven't heard from the people involved. The last I heard from anyone was one of my exes calling me a pathological liar and saying that they just want to move on with their lives, so while I'm doing the work to make sure I act better in future I am just trying to get on with my life and let them get on with theirs. I hope this clarifies why I have not talked further about the situation.
I will say that the last few months have been hellish for me. I have been frequently suicidal, I spent Christmas and new years alone, I lost a tooth because I couldn't afford proper dental treatment, people from within the community I've been ostracised from have been putting pressure on my remaining friends to cut ties with me, Keffals had my abuser on her twitch stream, a bizarre exaggerated and monsterised version of my personal life has been publicly gossiped about by trans people, fash and "leftist" drama streamers alike, I have been doing other work to make sure I can still pay rent and afford my bills and my HRT, and to survive. As I've been getting more stable and more able to focus on things besides this, I've been working on new writing because all I want with regard to my work and my channel is for my writing to help people. I don't want to talk about my private life, but I do understand that some number of people will feel after what has been said about me that they can't move forward with me without hearing the full details. Lots of people in my life have repeatedly encouraged me to publish a full account of everything that happened but I know how the Internet works and I don't want other trans women to be harmed in the ways that I have been harmed.
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gffa · 4 months ago
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Absolutely thriving on these pages of Robin Lives! where Bruce is questioning the entire concept of training his kids to do what he does and that he of course goes straight to Dick to ask him if he regrets it. God, what a complicated, thorny relationship they have! Like, Bruce trusts Dick to be honest, that he's showing a vulnerability about the lives he's changed, but also how many times does Bruce lean on this kid, the first one, the one who knows him best, the one that was there almost at the beginning, for emotional reassurance that this life was worth it for them? And Dick's at a complicated point in his life, he's not fully settled into his own skin yet, so he offers up a complicated answer, that there are times he does wish he'd had a regular childhood--and it's clear that's not the end of the statement. That next will be some form of, "but when it comes down to it, I wouldn't choose that other life". But Bruce is twelve mental illnesses in a Bat costume and feeling extremely raw at this moment and it's Dick, this is the one that can cut him the deepest and so he walks off and oh my god it's so painful and delicious at the same time. Bruce cares so much about what Dick has to say, that Dick values this life--because Dick was a child, but also because Dick was the one thing that Bruce felt he did that turned out right. Like, this is about Jason having almost died at the hands of the Joker, that's what stirred Bruce up and is driving this conversation, but it's also about how Bruce's tailspin leads him right back to his oldest, the one that he needs to not regret this life. If Dick Grayson regrets meeting Bruce Wayne, then everyone should regret meeting him.
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dyns33 · 7 months ago
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In the stars and the Book
So people wanted a new Dream of the Endless story for today. I hope you will like it !
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It was rare for Destiny to give advice.
For several good reasons, which his family understood well, even if they were sometimes annoyed or disappointed that he did not break the rules to help them in difficult times.
His interventions were never really his doing, but permitted by his Book, if not obligatory.
More than any other member of the Endless, Destiny was fully and entirely his function. He loved his siblings though.
He always showed a small, almost imperceptible smile when he had the opportunity to help his family, who always listened attentively.
This time, Dream was the lucky one who received a call from Destiny's gallery.
Of course he was going to answer, it was part of his responsibilities. He'd had some problems since the Magnus had captured him, freed himself, gotten his tools back, rebuilt his kingdom, and ever since he'd felt a little empty.
His brother's call could be excellent news, or the start of new troubles. But he was going to answer anyway.
As always, Destiny greeted him quickly, not leaving his book and not clearly answering his questions. This was not what was supposed to happen.
Then, when Dream was calmer, he finally looked at him.
“Y/N.”
"The witch ? What about her ?"
“You will know happiness, true happiness, until your end, after she gives you a kiss.”
Morpheus remained stoic as he knew how to do so well, despite the storm that was brewing within him. The people of the Dreaming must have been totally panicked, even if they were used to their creator being quite upset after an encounter with any Endless other than Death.
“Goodbye, little brother.” was the last thing Destiny said, already turning his back on him, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
His relationship with Y/N ​​had always been complicated. They had almost killed each other the first time they spoke. A real disaster. But she was still young, while he had yet to learn patience and empathy.
No doubt he was also too romantic, since he no longer even remembered the reason for their argument, but only her eyes full of passion, her hand on his cheek when she had the audacity to slap him, her perfume when she had vanished into thin air, vowing never to see him again.
They had seen each other again, several times, without ever doing it on purpose, as if fate was doing everything for them to end up together.
Over time, their exchanges had become more cordial, almost friendly. Dream had to recognize that Lucienne, Hob, his sister, many people had helped him a lot to realize the value of this little witch, who had also helped him on many occasions.
Yet he never thought he would feel love for Y/N. Admiration, affection, a need to protect her, but love ? Dream had often been in love. At least he thought he was.
It was true that each of his relationships had ended like shooting stars, passing very quickly, before burning and disappearing into nothingness.
His big brother had just revealed to him the secret of a certain, infinite happiness, a happiness that he seemed to deserve against all expectations, he who had ended up thinking that he was made to remain alone. There was no reason to hesitate.
Y/N clearly had some hesitations.
Despite his many advances, he still didn't seem to know that it was not proper for mortals to appear in a living room uninvited or unannounced.
First misstep, because it was not by scaring his sweetheart that he was going to succeed in seducing her. The poor thing even asked him what she had done, convinced that he was coming to punish her.
“I’m not here for ill reasons.” he tried to reassure her. "I needed to see you. It's been a long time, I forgot how beautiful you were, χαρα μου."
"… Is everything okay ? You need a spell and you're hoping it'll be for free ? You know, I heard what happened to you. It's not pity at all, but maybe I can lower my prices for you this time."
"Your concern touches me. But I don't need anything except you. I think we could be happy together."
"Wow. Okay, you're dying."
He was going to have to use all his wooing skills to get her to kiss him.
Certainly he could have kissed her, here, right away, but his brother had been clear. It was she who had to give him this liberating kiss.
Even though Dream was now sure of his feelings, Y/N probably needed a little more time. She hadn't received Destiny's advice.
Despite all his many improvements since his release, patience had never been Dream's strong point. Yet he was literally the expectation, the hope, all the ideas, the stories, the fantasies of humanity. Not getting the promised happiness right away shouldn't have bothered him so much.
Plus, beginnings were always the most exciting part. Observe Y/N responding positively to his advances, his compliments, his gifts. However, she remained suspicious, expecting a game or a disguised exchange of good behavior.
The witch set traps for him, to reveal his true intentions. The master of nightmares found this charming and amusing at first. Then Morpheus was a little hurt and exasperated that she didn't seem as infatuated with him as he was with her.
"… You say you love me ?"
"Indeed."
"Since when ? The last time we parted, I stole several of your books and you threatened to hang me. Fortunately your librarian likes me. I returned the books to her by the way. I don't t think we can be together, we'll end up tearing each other's heads off."
"It has to happen though. Destiny said we were meant to be together."
"… What ?"
The news did not please the little witch at all. She was making fun of him, but she wasn't necessarily having a bad time. Their arguments had become like a form of dance, a nuptial ritual.
Why did he always have to ruin everything ? He, the prince of stories, really had a problem with his choice of words.
He tried to hold her back, explaining that what his brother said had to happen, it wasn't his fault.
Seeing the tears in her eyes silenced him. The last thing he wanted to be hurt her, this vision pierced his heart.
"I can't believe I could be so stupid."
"You don't understand… We can be happy, together. Love each other."
"No. I loved you. And I thought maybe you loved me too, finally. But you're here out of obligation, like always. I never want to see you again ! I'm serious this time !"
There was no spell in the world that could hide a being thinking of Dream of the Endless. Those who thought always ended up dreaming, entering his kingdom.
Yet he left her sleep in peace, the rare times Y/N closed her eyes, trembling every night at the idea of ​​finding him in her dreams.
He wondered if she was right. If he only chased after her because his brother had put him on this path, and not by choice. By feeling. It was true that he hadn't asked himself the question before Destiny called him, and he had rushed straight to the front of his happiness.
Now that he was fully taking the time to think about it, knowing that the witch had loved him in silence all this time, that he had hurt her, that she deserved better than that, he thought that he had undoubtedly always loved her more than the others.
He loved her so much that he kept his distance, because everyone he wanted ended up leaving him, suffering, or dying. And he didn't want that for her, never for her. His tender Y/N, brave, intelligent, lively little witch. Who treated him normally, standing up to him without fear, making him see his missteps.
A whole week passed, before he showed up at her place, this time knocking on the door and waiting for it to open.
He raised his hand in a peace sign as soon as their eyes met, making no move to try and enter.
"χαρα μου… I'm sorry. For my behavior, and for my presence here, when you clearly expressed your hatred for me. But I owed you this apology, and as punishment, I agree not to see you again. Thus, I condemn myself to never knowing happiness, which I do not deserve after all. My brother did not say that you could not be happy with another. Just know that I loved every moment spent with you, and I will cherish them until the end. If it wasn't happiness, it looked like it."
"… Is this a ruse to get me to fall under your spell again ?"
"No. I still find it hard to believe that you could have loved a being such as myself. I don't think I would have ever imagined it, even in my wildest creations. My brother must have known, he who knows all."
"Hob says you're a sweet fool, full of pride, but with just as much kindness, fear and humanity deep down."
“I will have to think about visiting my dear friend very soon.” Dream said while keeping a stoic face.
This made Y/N laugh. Her magnificent laugh, accompanied by a smile that she gave him too rarely. He would populate the nights of many dreamers tonight.
But for now, Morpheus wondered if he was awake, seeing her continue to smile at him, placing her hand on his cheek. They had never touched each other like this, not once, since their first meeting.
"Don't sulk, it wasn't a criticism. I knew I could only love you when he assured me that you weren't as terrible as you showed yourself. A facade, necessary because of your status."
“I’m not sulking, I’m not…”
The kiss was quick. Morpheus would remember it until his sister took the whole universe with her. Those lips on his. All this love, for him, all this time, contained in a simple kiss.
He remained as still as a marble statue, which made her smile again. Then Y/N kissed him on the cheek this time, whispering that they could go to the New Inn for a drink, before closing the door.
"… Boss ?"
“Yes Matthew ?”
"You've been here for three hours, people on the street are starting to notice you. Are you going to stay long ?"
“Until my love came out and we went to the New Inn for a drink.”
"Yeah, I don't know if your brother helped you or not, but if the witch finds it cute and not creepy, that will be proof that you two are indeed meant to be together."
Y/N found this both creepy and adorable. The poor raven returned to the Dreaming with a sigh to announce the great news, although the bright sky was not unwelcome.
It was very often a magnificent weather in the future, and until the end.
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 11 months ago
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Yo! Good morning/evening, hope you are fine^^💝. I wanted to ask you a question but I was afraid that it may bother you or something (you know..that feeling when you are scared that you might disturb someone or being an unwelcome person) but yeah I will ask you since i was serious about your answer for some time now so I hope I'm not annoying you or something *feel free to answer only if you wish^^. You seem to know the characters pretty well, you are quite capable and great at reading and understanding them, one of the things I'm serious about is what do you think would make someone qualified enough to be with malleus? Do they have to be of the same species?certain Reputation, stature or traits?(sorry can't help it since I can't rest until I know everything about what interests me and figure it all out😅). Thanks for giving me some of your precious time I really like your blog, you're amazing💜
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No worries, you’re not bothering me at all ^^ I love to talk about my hyperfixations www
Now, I know a lot of fans (particularly on the EN side) like to ship Malleus with their OC and especially with Yuu so I want to first make it clear that my response is NOT meant to invalidate those Malleus shippers. Whatever I say here is based on my own interpretation of canon lore (and let’s be real here, TWST won’t ever confirm if anyone is romantically interested in Yuu because it might not work with how some players view their own relationship with that character). In fanon, anyone can be with anyone, but in canon there are very specific in-universe rules and expectations laid out for Malleus so these are what I will be referring to.
I also want to emphasize that the final traits I discuss in this post do NOT reflect Malleus’s personal tastes or views. He has little say in what kind of an individual his spouse would be, so his own preferences are not speculated about or taken into account here. The traits I will be bringing up are based on what I believe the lore implies are the desirable traits for those marrying into the Draconia royal family.
We got it? Good 👍 Read more below the cut!!
Firstly, I’m completely disregarding the ideas of “Malleus can love whoever he wants to love”, “Malleus can scare people into accepting who he loves”, and/or “Malleus can change the law so he can marry who he loves” (a la Sultan from Aladdin or through some other Disney magic or logic). Here’s why:
In general, those solutions for “high stakes issues” are too simple, and that has never been how Twisted Wonderland tackles complicated problems. Just look at every single OB boy’s backstory. They’re so complex that they aren’t totally resolved by the end of their books; these problems persist and are long term things each of them are working on addressing. This is also true of the politics TWST introduces to us; Leona for example explains how there is social pushback and resistance to the idea of infrastructure reform because the culture of the Sunset Savanna stresses harmony with nature. This has made it difficult for them to adopt new technologies because real politicians in their world have to seriously weigh their cultural values with their health and societal progress. The only time there are really easy solutions are in events or vignettes where the emotional stakes are not super high, but who Malleus marries is, in fact, super important since this will entirely change the life of a main character and his country.
With that first bullet point in mind… No, Malleus cannot love whoever he wants to love. Certainly, he may feel affection for another but he can never truly be with them. He is royalty and the only heir to the throne of Briar Valley. It follows that he is expected to marry for political reasons/to better his nation. This is a non-negotiable obligation for him.
Rather than saying, “Malleus cannot scare people into accepting who he loves”, I think it’s more accurate to say Malleus knows he probably shouldn’t. I mean, yes, he may be upset about his S/O not being accepted by his people but I feel that is discrediting a lot of the loyalty he has for his own country. As a kid he may have thrown tantrums when he was upset and potentially harmed staff, but as a 178 year old he has a much better understanding of decorum and maintaining it in spite of his own grudges. For example, even though he personally dislikes Leona he still commands Sebek to apologize to him because, at the end of the day, this could harm Briar Valley’s relationship with the Sunset Savanna. That’s not to say that Malleus can’t be petty (he definitely is)—but implying he would be petty toward basically his entire country just because they would disapprove of the one he loves?? (We know this would likely be true because Sebek’s parents faced similar backlash when they got together.) I feel like his own sense of awareness and responsibility for his country, crown, and people would override that. As an example, Malleus states that he has never been in a car before because the senate would be against it and often kept Malleus in the castle. Someone of his power could easily ignore them and sneak out and do whatever he wanted, yet the dialogue implies Malleus didn’t. He obeyed his political advisors even when he was younger and arguably much more immature. Malleus might not like certain decisions made about his life but it sounds like he ultimately complies with them.
Continuing from the previous point, let’s say for the sake of argument that Malleus does scare everyone into line. What about his public image and the mental health of his S/O? Maybe Malleus can frighten people to not talk out of turn to his face, but he cannot control what people whisper about him behind closed doors or to treat his S/O well or like they actually like them. Not only would they be alienated (away from their own home and forced to adapt to a new one) but they’d be treated oddly by others too. What kind of reputation is that for Malleus? To be a tyrant king who throws a hissy fit anytime someone talks about his partner in a way he doesn’t approve of? With a spouse who is not at their best mentally because of the constant ostracization? (This is similar to what Leona experienced in his childhood.) I don’t think Malleus would want to subject anyone to that kind of life, especially not one he loves. And again, this attitude would be the vast majority of his people. It’s not like it can be avoided or resolved in an easy manner, especially when the people of Briar Valley have proven to be against change.
Lastly, Malleus would not change the law so he can be with whoever he wants to. To begin with, I doubt this is a unilateral position the senate would approve of. But okay, let’s accept that Malleus is royalty so his power overrides the advisors’ power. So he effectively just changed a law for a very selfish and personal reason rather than changing something to actually benefit his people. That doesn’t feel in-character for him, not when Malleus seems to understand that it is the duty of those in higher status to help those below them rather than themselves (see: Riddle’s Suitor Suit vignettes. Malleus has acted selfish before, yes (who remembers Endless Halloween Night? His Dorm Uniform vignettes? I do.)—but never at the cost of changing the status quo of his country. (Book 7 is not included here because he’s in a very distressed emotional state then; this “new law” scenario posits that Malleus is in a normal state of mind.) This is a major change—change which Briar Valley, its people, and most importantly, Malleus, are not ready for. You think there wouldn’t be social pushback against this? From a society that has become complacent with its own way of life and is still isolated from the rest of the world? That Malleus, someone who struggles greatly with accepting life changes himself, could enact such a big change so easily? (On a more technical level, you don’t just pass a law and it instantly becomes tangible or real, there is a process of approval and then implementation.)
Additionally, it’s made clear in Ghost Marriage that “[Malleus] cannot enter into an engagement lightly”, which is why Sebek goes in his place. Eliza, the Ghost Bride, is royalty (er, albeit dead) but it seems that royal status is not enough to qualify as his partner. Maybe this is because she’s dead and doesn’t have anything of value for Briar Valley (no land, no people, no political power), but it could also mean that the partner has to be given the thumbs up by other parties.
All that being said, here are some of the conditions I think would have to be met for Malleus’s future spouse:
Has to be someone of equal or at least high status. This means they also have to be a royal or at least of nobility. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who is referred to as a duke.
Because of how self-contained Briar Valley is + nocturnal fae having beef with diurnal fae, I imagine his partner would have to also be a nocturnal fae. This would also solve the MASSIVE lifespan difference between fae and non-fae because at least fae would be far closer to each other even if their lifespans fluctuate but subspecies.
Someone suited to rule by his side. Being married into any royal family is no joke—it comes with the expectation that you will contribute somehow, and the partner should be fully equipped to enter the world of politics with him.
Piggybacking off the last point, I think mental fortitude is also a prerequisite. This is because being a politician (navigating the social climate both within your country and outside of it, keeping your people and colleagues happy, maintaining public approval, managing laws, dealing with potential attempts on your life, etc.) can be very stressful and can hurt those who are faint of heart or not prepared for the responsibility. Leaders have to make tough calls at the drop of a hat, and they have to be ready for it.
Has a lot to offer in terms of benefits to Briar Valley as a country. This could be in terms of resources, connections, and/or political savvy. This appears to be true of Malleus’s dad, who acted as a diplomat for Briar Valley.
Vetting and formal approval from the senate. lmao good luck with that
Has to be able and willing to have a child. They at least need an heir to the throne to succeed Malleus. (However, knowing how exclusionary and conservative as heck the senators are, I doubt they would accept anything but a biological child 💀)
Preferably someone with powerful magic or is skilled at magic already so as to lessen the chance of “tainting” the bloodline with a weak mage or a non-mage.
I believe that Briar Valley would prefer someone with old fashioned values like them, not someone pushing for massive reform. They have a culture that is resistant to change and a history of fighting for resources with outsiders, so if Malleus’s new spouse tries to introduce a bunch of technology or open its borders to other countries (even if they have good intentions), the people + the senate may oppose them. His father is implied to be open-minded, but he at least understood that such change isn’t reasonable without time and effort dedicated to the endeavor.
All that being said 💦 I think that this topic is actually less about what Malleus as an individual wants and what his country, his people, and, yes, even his asshole senators, want. This is basically an arranged marriage situation so that their country can maintain power and relevance. It’s about the collective and what Malleus must do for their perceived security and prosperity.
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mya-valentine · 4 months ago
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Headcanon: Cyno x Criminal S/O
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Cyno’s relationship with a criminal S/O would be complicated, to say the least. As the General Mahamatra, his unwavering sense of justice and duty would constantly conflict with his feelings for his S/O. Initially, he might not have known about their criminal activities, but once he finds out, it would create an intense inner struggle for him. Cyno is not one to bend the law easily, even for someone he cares about deeply.
His S/O would have to be someone exceptionally clever and elusive—someone who operates in the gray areas of morality. They aren’t a villain, but their actions might be driven by necessity or their own code of ethics, which doesn’t align with Cyno’s strict black-and-white view of justice. They could be a Robin Hood-like figure, stealing from the rich or powerful for the sake of the underprivileged. This would challenge Cyno’s rigid sense of right and wrong, forcing him to reconsider the nuances of morality.
While Cyno wouldn’t openly support his S/O’s actions, there would be a part of him that understands why they do what they do. He might not condone their behavior, but his feelings would lead him to offer subtle warnings or even secretly help them evade capture at times, despite the guilt he feels for doing so. He would struggle between his duty as a law enforcer and his growing affection for them.
His S/O would probably enjoy teasing him about his strict adherence to the rules, knowing they represent everything Cyno is supposed to stand against. There would be a sense of tension, but also excitement between them, as they navigate the dangerous line they’re walking. His S/O might say things like, “What would the General Mahamatra do if he knew where I was last night?” with a mischievous smirk, knowing it would both challenge and intrigue him.
Despite their differences, Cyno would be fascinated by their cunning and resourcefulness. He would admire their intelligence and ability to outwit others, even if it frustrates him that they use those skills for illegal activities. His S/O’s unpredictability would keep him on edge, always wondering what they’re going to do next, and oddly enough, this would make him drawn to them even more.
Over time, Cyno would try to persuade his S/O to leave their criminal lifestyle behind, using logical arguments and appealing to their better nature. He’d believe that they’re capable of using their talents for something good, perhaps even working alongside him. His S/O, however, might see the world differently, challenging Cyno’s idealistic views with their own cynicism about the world and the law.
Even in their disagreements, there would be a deep sense of mutual respect. Cyno values strength of character, and even though his S/O’s methods may be questionable, their determination and conviction would resonate with him. His S/O might even try to make him see that the law isn’t always just, forcing Cyno to reevaluate his approach to justice over time.
Cyno’s loyalty would shine through in their relationship, despite the conflict of interests. He would never betray his S/O, even if it means compromising his own rigid moral code. While he might not agree with their choices, he would protect them fiercely, caught between love and duty.
Ultimately, Cyno’s love for his criminal S/O would be a constant balancing act. He would continue to pursue justice, but with the understanding that sometimes justice isn't as clear-cut as he once thought. Their relationship would be a constant push-and-pull, full of tension, danger, and undeniable chemistry.
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Masterlist
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