#and tim lives in a BOAT

[ruedhood]

good news i finished Tim Drake : Robin, bad news i need More i want More i crave More i should've had a DC interest back when this was on going because i would've been the biggest hypeman ever.

Tim Drake unaware king, he doesn't know he lives in a place that would be the Top One Spot for hiding twenty bodies stitched together like the second coming of human centepede.

this also shows timbern loserboyxloserboy they are both losers about each other. they are so whipped with each other. i bet they sleep with the other in their mind and they twirl their hair while thinking of the other. Losers.

it also showed the 'vigilante is accused that they are dating their Own Vigilante Self' and its Funny

in conclussion, read Tim Drake : Robin so you can see him as a badass vigilante and the most loserboy boyfriend ever. he Cannot lie to bernard, he is Whipped.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Damian Living On Tim's Murder Boat AU Part 3

Bernard, singing: A single mom who works two jobs, she loves her kids and never stops~

Damian: Dowd keeps singing that song over and over, I think he's broken.

Tim: You're thinking of records, not people.

Bernard: Do you like the mloukhieh I made you?

Damian: It's not as good as my mother's, of course.

Bernard: Of course.

Damian: But it's an acceptable replacement.

Damian: What do you organize your books by? It's not alphabetical, it's not genre, it's not date of publishing.

Damian: It's not something pedestrian as color of the cover. So what is your system?

Tim: Vibes.

Damian: What?

Tim: Vibes.

Damian: What?!

[ofmdrecaps]

12/21-22/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR: David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Kristian Nairn; Samba Schutte; Vico Ortiz; Ruibo Qian; Anapela Polata'ivao; Tim Heidecker; Dominic Burgess; Christopher Corbin; Hugo Pierre Martin; Fan Spotlight: Tiny Crew Big Raffle Results Part 3; Our Flag Means Fanfiction Holiday Episode; OFMD Advent Calendar;

= David Jenkins =

David shared some gorgeous artwork from our crewmate @viccsart!

Source: David Jenkins Bsky

= Rhys Darby =

Our Captain sent us a lovely message <3

Source: Rhys Instagram Stories

They interviewed Rhys for the new Bad Jelly TV show!

The fabulous @catski22 was kind enough to share the interview text from TV Guide's article on Badjelly!

Source: Catski's Bsky

= Taika Waititi =

The video behind my favorite picture of the interview Taika and Jimmy O Yang

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by TV Insider (@tvinsider)

Source: TV Insider's Instagram

= Kristian Nairn =

Kristian is going to be joining the EM-CON in Nottingham on June 7-8! To learn more and get tickets, visit here!

Source: Em-Con's Instagram

= Samba Schutte =

Samba sent us some selfies, and festive IG Stories for the holidays!

Source: Samba Schutte's Instagram Stories

= VIco Ortiz =

More pictures of Vico's new Project - Today in Gay! It's going live January 1st, 2025!! You can sign up for updates from their substack!

Source: Vico's Instagram

= Ruibo Qian =

Ruibo's been really active this season, love to see her happy and feeling herself!

Source: Ruibo Qian's Instagram

= Anapela Polata'ivao =

Tinā is now showing at @PerthFest until December 29. Coming soon to Australian cinemas. Coming to NZ cinemas February 27.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Madman (@madmanfilms)

Source: Anapela's Instagram

= Tim Heidecker =

Our friend Doug, aka Tim Heidecker is out here interviewing--himself!

Source: Tim Heidecker Bsky

= Dominic Burgess =

I love that Dominic is still giving us cat content while in a completely different country!

Source: Dominic's Bsky

= Rachel House & David Fane =

More shots of the cast from Moana. Rachel and David look so darn cute.

Source: PressPhotoG Instagram

= Christopher Corbin =

Remember "We could have made magic." man? Well Christopher Corbin is Santa in this new FOX NFL ad!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Christopher Corbin (@cccorbin)

Source: Christopher Corbin's Instagram

= Hugo Pierre Martin =

Speaking of commercials -- Our favorite attendant from the "The Best Revenge Is Dressing Well" and fellow crewmate, Hugo Pierre Martin, did the voiceover for a spicy commercial recently!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Hugo Pierre Martin (@hugopierremartin)

Source: HPM's Instagram

== Articles ==

Thank you to @adoptourcrew for sharing this article from Fandomwire!

Source: Adopt Our Crew's Tumblr

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Tiny Crew Big Raffle =

More Donation results from our friends over @ofmd-buys-boats from the Tiny Boats Raffle.

Cure Kids - Taika's Charity of Choice - US$143.09, £21.42, €225.53, NZ$658

Kitten Rescue LA - Rhys' Charity of Choice - US$ 1,198.12 , CAD $7.20

One more charity to go and then some awesome BTS from Lindsey Cantrell (I ran out of photo room on this one sorry)!

Source: OFMD Buys Boats Taika / Rhys

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

New episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction is out! It's a special holiday episode, and one of the co-hosts, @ringasunn was able to get several crew members to send some holiday messages (Lindsey Cantrell, Con O'Neill and more!) You can listen in on spotify here or choose your favorite listening platform on their linktr.ee!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

= OFMD Advent Calendar =

So close! Sorry I'm so behind on these! Thank you so much to @tillychmo for hosting these wonderful Advent Calendar event and putting together these adorable Doors for each day! The 20th Door features a fluff fic by our dear crewmate @politestmenace aka gaypirateofficianado!

The 21st Door features some lovely Winter Solstice artwork by the fabulous @deanbird.bsky.social!

The 22nd Door featured the brilliant @blueberreads! They made a innkeepers game for the occasion!!

The 23rd Door features an adorable drawing by the massively talented @gleafer!

Source: OFMD Advent Calendar Bsky

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! Wow, two recaps in one night! That's overkill! (JK I'm so behind, lol). I know we're deep into the holidays now, and some of the big ones have passed us by. I hope you've gotten a chance for some down time. I know this time of year can be tough for various reasons, and especially this year given the political climate around the world. Please hear me when I say, you are so very loved. Whether you had a good holiday, or a rough one. Whether you were swamped and busy, or got a break finally and got some rest. You are SO very very loved, no matter what you accomplished today, or this month, or this year. I am seeing so many new folks poking their heads out in the fando-- which is absolutely lovely to see-- and if you're just joining us for the first time, or have been in the fandom since Day One of S1 or anywhere in between-- you too are loved. We are Crew For Life, as Samba says, for a reason. This show brought so many of us together because of it's love, and it's light, and it's fond family. We all care about you so much crew, please remember that. It's time for me to sneak off to bed, and hopefully I'll see you soon lovelies, going to be posting the David Christmas specials in the next edition.

Sending love your way <3

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dominee Calderon (@selfloverainbow)

Source: Self Love Rainbow

[ruestheday]

i need more of tim’s fuck ass boat house in fanfiction

[littlepikmins]

Tim Drake living on a boat is silly and fun and can you imagine the Marina around Halloween?! I imagine all of Tim's neighbors put up a ton of decorations on their boats and Tim doesn't really have much time to decorate with everything he has going on, so Bernard insists he can decorate for him and gets really into it.

Because of villains like Scarecrow Gotham can definitely be dangerous around Halloween but maybe this year it actually ends up being a normal Halloween night and nothing bad happens.

So when Tim goes out on patrol and the comms are quiet and things are fine, he heads back to the Marina after changing out of his Robin suit and by that point all of his neighbors are gathered together on the dock having a Halloween party (perhaps in Gotham, Halloween parties are more common than trick or treating since people are afraid to let their kids wander and instead people gather together at parties).

And when Bernard sees him, he takes his hand and brings him over to the others and they dance together and have a ton of fun!!

[basalting]

i read red robin finally and ill probably rant about it eventually but TIMOTHY…. YOU GENTRIFIED THE MURDER THEATRE!!!!!

[zuzuzuko]

hopefully other comic runs will just continue to ignore whatever the fuck Zdarsky is doing because the whole batfam moving in with Bruce is such a cringe idea

[introspectivememories]

bruce fucking hates tim's boat. and he tries so hard to not let it show but like bruce is a billionaire baby who's never lived in anything but a sprawling estate so it's just fucking hilarious. so it just ends up like

tim showing off his boat: and here's the kitchen! so what'dya think bruce? real nice huh? rent's cheap too

bruce calling upon all of his batman training to not actively recoil: it's... nice.

[batcavescolony]

Bernard: Hey Tim do you mind if I bring a friend with me to your place? He's really cool.

Tim: sure I don't mind

Bernard: good because I've already brought him this is my friend Lonnie.

Lonnie: capitalist scum!

Tim: no longer in a coma I see.

Bernard: what's going on here?

[rainbowonice]

was the cruise being 3 episodes even worth it cuz…

[oifaaa]

You know on the topic of tim being the most normal bat, atp if I do somehow end up reading a tim-centric fic it's almost exclusively civilian tim(minus the whole... oracle ripoff thing) because its so nice when he's actually allowed to not be 16 and robin forever and it's so easy to give him the normal college student gets into crazy batshit role

Also lots of steph content usually, I love me some good steph content

I'm all for people taking advantage of how easy it would of been for Tim not to have become Robin considering it all counts on Jason dying - exploring Tim's life and how he still makes the worst decisions to end up in terrible situations

[shyjusticewarrior]

My Damian on Tim's boat au is extra funny with the context of these panels

Tim Drake Robin vol 1

Harley Quinn (2021) #23

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny Pt.9

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.10]

"Fan-sea meeting you here. You must be Phantom!"

Danny slowly turned around, grin blinding. "I shore am. Who's asking?"

Danny knew exactly who was asking. Bludhaven's vigilante, Nightwing. If the giant dark blue bird emblazoned on the front of his suit didn't give it away, the friendly demeanor and the puns would have. Plus, now that Danny's figured out who Tim was, the rest were pretty simple dots to be connected.

"Hi. I'm Nightwing. Thanks for saving Batman."

"I am Phantom. You are welcome. Please lecture him on the necessity of keeping the waters clean."

"Uh, I think he knows," Nightwing grinned. “So, why are you cleaning Gotham’s bay? I heard the Atlantic is nice this time of year.”

“Exactly. This?” Danny flapped a gloved hand around them, specifically at the moldy docks and the paint scraped board. “This is not nice. If it were nice, I wouldn’t need to be cleaning it. Look at that paint! It’s flaking off into the water! Does Gotham not have proper boat maintainance? That’s dangerous for the waters and seafarers!”

“Woah, you know a lot about boats,” Nightwing commented, crossing his arms and leaning back. What the hero didn’t know was that he knew more about boats than Danny did, as Danny’s hyper fixation was more focused on space ships and Dick had education à la maison de Bruce Wayne which usually meant an absurd amount of information for someone who doesn’t actually use boats as a regular mode of transportation.

“Rust! Rust is very much a thing!” Danny ranted, using his ice to scoop up water and using it like a makeshift filter. “It weakens bonds! It’s a tetanus hazard! And oh, don’t even get me started on how you people mutated the ocean life!”

“Mutated ocean life? I’m pretty sure we hadn’t. It’s just a little weird, right?”

Without another word, Danny dove into the weird ecosystem that was the Gotham bay. He came back holding a wriggling green thing the size of a worm.

“Do you know what this is?” Danny demanded. The thing flopped around on his gloved hands.

“A sea monkey?”

“They’re brine shrimp. Brine. Shrimp. Do you know what regular brine shrimp look like???” Danny shoved the thing at Nightwing, who took a step back.

“Not like that?” He replied, a quizzical look on his face.

“No, not like that! What in the ancients is this?!” Danny waved the weird sea brine that had started glowing faintly, like Danny’s natural ectoplasm glow. “Far be it from me of all people to judge evolution but this was all man made!” Danny gently tossed the brine shrimp back into the bay. “Brine shrimp is staple food for the ocean! You’ve got weird brine shrimp? You’ve got weird fish! Why is it impossible for this place to, for even one day, refrain from dumping hazardous chemicals or dead bodies in the water?”

“Ooookay, how about we take a breather?” Nightwing quickly glanced around, trying to find something to change the subject, feeling oddly guilty at the earnest expression on the kid’s face. “Uh, I was actually wondering if you’d swing by the waters near Blüd?”

Danny crossed his arms. “I clean the waters as a past time because you humans don’t know how to keep it clean. I am not a personal, on call, seakeeper.”

“Batman will pay you for your time,” Dick offered. Danny straightened. Amity didn’t actually cost that much to live well, but Gotham was a whole other ball park. The rent might be dirt cheap for a city, but the special pricey little add ons such as gas masks and space level insulation on top of the sky high insurance policies were draining what’s left of his half dead soul. As they say, Danny was a city dweller first and Phantom second.

“How much, when, and I won’t fish up the bodies unless he pays me extra.”

“Four thousand base pay, extra one hundred per identity, fifty for bodies with no shades, and on the weekends.”

Danny straightened as his mother’s steel spine, Jazz’s whip sharp wit, and his own craftiness made their appearance as he bargained. “Five thousand. Rate agreed, but I can only do every other weekends and I’ll have to call out some days.”

“Okay.” Nightwing rocked back on his heels with an affable smile. It’s Bruce’s money and it’s going towards his probable future baby brother, after all, even if said baby brother is a dead immortal Atlantis founder. Or something.

Danny groaned. “You are supposed to bargain back. But I’ll take it.”

“Great! Who do we got tonight?” Nightwing looked down at the plastic/burlap wrapped person Danny dragged onto the shores a bit ago.

“The lake kept the body cold, so it should be preserved adequately if you want to examine him,” Danny tilted his head to the side, the flames of his hair tilting with him. “He said his name is Gorganzo Bean.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s a nickname he got for eating a whole can of beans straight.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it. Any more details?”

“Sure.”

When Danny reached to take the money from Nightwing, he found that the hero had tightened his grip on it.

Danny pointedly dropped his gaze from Nightwing’s face to the money.

“Wait. I- I heard from a source that you could possibly smell souls.”

Danny yanked the cash out of Nightwing’s hand and shoved it into his shoulder. If that didn’t confirm Nightwing’s identity, he doesn’t know what would other than the guy telling Danny who he was. “You’ve been speaking with Danny. Yes, I can.”

“Can you tell what’s wrong with my brother?” Nightwing blurted out.

Danny stared at him, his legs flickering in and out to his tail form. “…Other than dressing in probably leather or Kevlar and going out to beat criminals with his bare hands?”

Nightwing opened and closed his mouth. He coughed awkwardly. “Other than that. Why is he- um, stinky? Soul-wise,” Nightwing added, clearly humoring the tinny little voice at the base of his temples that was an annoyed Red Hood saying that he showered. “He showers often. And is definitely not stinky body odor wise.”

“I am not a doctor. Well, not now anyways,” Danny said, thinking about his future PhD. “But he’s got a… soul infection. His natural immunity- all souls have a natural immunity against regular outside influences- is working hard to repel the equivalence of chronic bronchitis.”

“There’s… no way to help him?”

“I never said that,” Danny tilted his head. “Bring your brother to meet Danny. He could probably handle it.”

“The civilian?”

“His parents hunted my kind, once. He helped protect me and my people. If anyone knows how to cure it, it would be him.”

Phantom could not afford to deal with this right now, because Danny had a presentation tomorrow that he needed to finish.

“Oh. Thank you, Phantom.” Nightwing said, looking relieved and pensive. Danny decided right then and there that was Future Danny’s problem.

Danny nodded distractedly, blinking out.

He blinked back in. Nightwing jerked back. “Do you happen to have any examples of corrupt politicians in Gotham?”

Nightwing blinked before laughing. “It’d probably be easier to name the ones that aren’t.”

“Good to know. Thank you!”

——

A couple of days later, Tim and two older guys ambushed him in the quad.

“Hi! I’m Dick! This is my brother Jason! We’re Tim’s older brothers!”

Danny looked down at his hand- trapped in an overexcited handshake- and back up at Dick.

Whatever expression he was making, it must have been ha-fucking-larious because Tim and Jason burst out into laughter. Danny cursed his past self.

“Yeah?” Danny blinked. Wait. His smile grew and he made a face like he just realized something. “Oh. So you’re Nightwing?”

The laughter cut off.

“Haha, what?”

“Phantom told me you’d be coming but I, uh, thought you’d be in gear. Not… straight up telling me who you are?”

“You’re in regular contact with Phantom?” Tim demanded.

“Yeah, dude. After you- wait, you’re Red Robin!” Danny whispered.

“Oh shit, B’s gonna be pissed,” Jason drawled, looking mildly amused and hiding an extremely cautious, possibly lethal (if it weren’t for the fact that Danny’s pretty much impossible to kill with regular weapons) reaction.

“You’re one to talk. I’d smell your soul no matter what your disguise was.”

“…About that.”

——

You might be wondering: wouldn’t Dick know not to show up in civvies?

Yes. Except for the fact that Tim stalked Danny for weeks after he met Phantom and Danny hadn’t hung out with (himself) at all. They think Danny doesn’t know Phantom well enough to even talk to him much, despite being from the same town because: they’re all big city kids and have never experienced small town solidarity and, more importantly, gossip grapevines + they have no idea these two are the same people.

A deleted scene:

“When did you have time to talk to Phantom?” Tim demanded. Jason nudged Tim. That had hinted too much at what Tim was doing on his off hours and stalking was usually frowned upon.

“When I wasn’t talking to you, duh.”

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[redsray]

IM SO GLAD PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT TIM AND HIS MARINA BOAT. the part of that Robin run where he just appreciated himself and had the marina as a safe space and had those basically lesbian neighbours and the evil robin-cloning landlord and BERNARD'S BANDANA and how cluttered the entire boat is and UGHHH I LOVE IT ... I need to see more people talk about Tim's boat home.

@angrylittleenby I am so THRILLED to be the one to tell you that he not only has a boat, he is currently living out of the jankiest boat he rented in the Gotham Marina (though his landlord did turn out to be evil though so. maybe he owns it. most normal way to become a homeowner in 2024)

[redsray]

Tim Drake is insanely wonderful to me because while, yes, he is a genius, an absolutely legendary Robin, a teenager who went up to Batman, looked him in the eyes and practically dragged him back up from the bottom, a kind soul, a boy who will put anyone he cares about above himself, an amazing business man, a prodigy in his own right, a breathtaking photographer and a hell of a funny guy...

He is also Tim Drake.

Bruce Wayne is his adopted father and you can hyphenate his name to Drake-Wayne all you'd like, but when he walks into a gala he is Timothy Drake, the son of Janet Drake. He glides through crowds methodically and with the confidence of someone who has been in these social circles for years on end. His analytical and judgemental stare scares even the most cunning there. When he's in the room, he is the predator and every single socialite in the vicinity is his prey.

Sure he's polite, and he's charming, and yes if you're kind towards him then he will be kind towards you. Tim is someone who will take kindness and he will repay it— but the same rule applies to unkindness.

The person Tim transforms into when entering a gala— the person underneath all that shed skin— never fails to surprise anyone the first time they witness it. It's hard to forget, for the rest of the family, that Tim was brought up in this environment even before being adopted by Bruce.

The first time Bruce noticed, the first gala he brought Tim to, he'd forgotten that Tim knew the ropes and thought he would have to teach Tim how galas work. Only for Tim to stop him, informing (and reminding) him that he's fully aware. The Robin suit may be what he wears to fight, but his three piece is what he wears to hunt.

Dick did something similar; since his first gala was a media nightmare, after he'd gotten adopted, he wanted to spare Tim the horrors of being eaten alive by paparazzi and socialites. He didn't even get to warn his new younger brother before Tim was already off, blending into the scene like he'd never left it at all. (And, just maybe, he truly hadn't.)

It even absolutely stumps (and amazes) Bernard, because he had gotten used to a more relaxed Tim, far, far away from that rich and elite environment. He's seen the younger and more human side of Tim, the one who lives in a cluttered boat in the Gotham Marina and stumbles over his feet during their dates. The first time he gets an invitation to the gala, he's told he will meet Tim there— since the Wayne's are hosting. When he steps into the gala, though, and sets his eyes in Tim, he's absolutely floored.

Gone is the adorable, blushing mess that he sees sitting across from him during restaurant dates. Gone is the absolute geek that could ramble on about anything that currently interests him for hours and hours. Gone is the endearing genius that could figure out any puzzle if he put his mind to it. No, in front of Bernard stands a socialite, a young one yet one who knows his place. One who knows his worth. And yet, when their eyes meet and Tim flashes him a smile, Bernard knows— even in a three piece suit and with a sharp gaze that could render anyone in this huge hall speechless— that's still Tim.