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#and tik tok is never accurate he could just be some guy
pinkpigeonbee · 17 days
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I know little of Delicious in Dungeon and even less of twitter but this means something to you people right?
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clawsdevour · 1 month
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-₊˚⊹hoshiumi bf hcs
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wc: 0.5k content warning: fluff, slight smut, aged up, post-time skip, my shitty writing, slight mention of praise, not proofread
note: this may not be the most accurate headcanon because I'm not super super familiar with hoshiumi's character but i did rewatch some clips of him and thought these would fit him !!
ꪆৎ ˚⋅ 🐦
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to get all snarky when you don't give him enough attention because he's gonna have to work for it. He just loves to surprise you and wow you, but if you're not giving him your full attention he's going to be a bit disappointed with a little spread pout on his face.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to enjoy playing around with you. He'd probably like to have pretend competitions like who could eat the fastest when your meals are both served at the same time.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to love all of your praises and sweet gestures to show your love for him. Especially with your words of affirmation that really keeps him in check because he wants to hear how you genuinely feel when it comes towards him as your boyfriend.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to go crazy on the court to impress you even more when he sees you cheering from the stands. He wants you to know that he's the best man you've ever laid your eyes upon.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to be all over you when you two are alone. He loves cuddling with you, having his arms locked tight around your torso never letting you go with his head in the crook of your neck. You two could be in this position at any moment, he'd just love having you in his arms while you even watch tik tok together on your phone.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to definitely love talking about you. Even if he's in the locker room changing with the Schweiden Adlers , he could get a text notification from you and start giggling to himself in the corner saying stuff like OH MY GOD GUYS THEY JUST TEXTED ME BACK!! He loves just loves showing you off as his soulmate because he's proud of how your relationship has gotten so far.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to absolutely just wow parents. His bright charismatic personality really lightens up the room when upon ever meeting with your parents. He loves talking with them, and they love talking with him and even consider Hoshiumi as if he were their own son because of his refreshing energy.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to put all his volleyball stamina to use, making you feel all the sensations his cock could provide you whenever he impales your gummy walls over and over. He'd be vocal, telling you how good you feel while praising you for taking his hard thrusts so well.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to go feral when you hop on it. He loves to admire your body as it moves up and down, watching your body with a layer of sheen sweat glisten with your tits jumping up and down with your movements. His hands would have this bruising grip that tightens on your hips to pull you back down whenever you rise up.
-Hoshiumi, the type of boyfriend to get you all cleaned up and tucked into bed with him in a tight snuggle. He'd love cuddling with you in bed and giving you gentle kisses, especially on the forehead with his little tired smile and drooping eyes gazing at you.
masterlist here
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frostyreturns · 11 days
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Frosty Reviews Idiocracy
This is one of those movies that people kept telling me I needed to watch because it seemed like a movie I’d like. Now that I have seen it I have no idea how this movie escaped me before now. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I even knew it existed and I just never saw it available anywhere. It must have been pretty low budget and didn’t have the marketing power behind it but even still it seems to have a cult following. I like most everything Mike Judge does so it should have been a no brainer.
It’s a dumb comedy but if a dumb comedy was a fairly accurate speculative dystopia. The idea is people are just going to keep getting dumber and dumber until one day a know nothing dumbass from our time would be considered the smartest man in the world. Part of the reason for the speculation is the idea that stupid people reproduce a lot while smart people reproduce very little. I have a bit of an issue with this reasoning…I think not reproducing is more of a midwit thing than a smart people thing. People smart enough to use protection when they are not ready…but not smart enough to figure out the benefits of a larger family and to be able to create the wealth to provide for it. The dumbing down of the world thanks to the fact that dumb people breed more is just part of the picture and the movie never really tackled the fact that we’re being dumbed down on purpose with drugs, porn, shitty education, lies, constant mindless media distractions, fluoridated water etc.
I bet if the movie was made or remade today social media especially stuff like tik tok would be prominantly featured, it’s kind of a real shame it’s not there because it would have been so perfect. I can so easily picture scenes where there’s some serious problem they need to address and the characters are just in the background doing tik tok dances instead.
I thought the movie was pretty funny but the funniest thing to me was the backstory behind the footwear. The movie was obviously super low budget which is a shame because otherwise I think this could have been a much better and more widely known and loved movie. At times the shitty backgrounds took me out of it a little. It was so low budget Mike Judge was dealing with some wardrobe stuff himself and when he was looking for footwear he asked for ugly shoes that they might wear in a future where everyone is retarded. He specifically asked that they be sure not to use anything that might become popular…the shoes they used for the movie were crocs and the wardrobe woman assured him they were so ugly there was no way they would ever become popular.
At times the joke felt like it was stretched a little thin, the premise was funny and many of the jokes were funny but there was times it felt like…maybe a whole movie wasn’t needed for this joke. The specifics of the plot were kind of inconsequential and I never felt really invested in any of the characters enough to care what happened to anyone. Particularly Dax Sheppard…I can’t stand the fucking guy but I do have to say he was cast perfectly for the role I totally believed him as a brain dead dipshit.
Most of the jokes were running gags one of my favourites was the way that the Fuddruckers restaurant slowly changed its name to buttfuckers. The whole movie isn’t just dumbasses laughing at people getting hit in the balls 24/7 there’s a subtle genius to the humour. The way the fat uninterested Costco employee greets them all by saying “welcome to costco I love you” says so much about the future he’s painting a picture of. A dehumanizing mega corporation that doesn’t even bother trying to appear like it cares and just pays an employee to just lie directly to you…stripped of all nuance and subtletey. It says they have to try less because people are too stupid to see it for what it is. There’s just something about a faceless corporation pretending to give a shit about you that feels so offputting and dystopian. I once got a birthday email from my bank and it kinda made me want to find out who was in charge of that decision and go take a shit on their desk. You’re not a fucking person don’t talk to me like you’re a person.
Some of his predictions are right on although he was wrong about Costco being the main megastore that eats up everything else and tries to be the one and only store, this was made before Amazon became basically what he was predicting costco would be. And he also rightfully predicts an oversexualization of society…his examples are silly like starbucks becoming a place where you get handjobs but it does seem like as things get shittier more and more people are resorting to some kind of sex work. I’ve never been on twitch because the idea of watching people play video games makes me a rage, but im told it’s basically impossible to use it without seeing half naked women turn it into some kind of erotic content.
I also thought the movie displayed the dunning krueger effect pretty well. Initially the main character who is from the past and is thus the smartest person alive is treated like the dumbest person they’ve ever seen…becuase they were too stupid to recognize how stupid they are so even basic common sense looked and sounded retarded to them.
In many ways we already live in the idiocracy, we’re getting dumber and we reward shitty dumb behaviour. The movie was essentially a reduction to absurdity of a real phenomena that’s only gotten a lot worse since it was written. The political pageantry was especially prescient because we’re currently watching a shit show involving a former and probably future president that’s actually been on WWE before.
Idiocracy was a good blend of dumb nonsense movie and intelligent satire. Definitely worth at least one watch despite the sometimes horrible cgi and somewhat lagging lackluster plot. It’s funny and it definitely holds up.
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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years
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What do you feel about amandamaryanna’s video on gossip girl and cosplaying poor? It reminds me of those tik tok videos that are about the most insane rich person behavior you’ve experienced. I feel like it’s subjective because the characters Dan Vanessa and Zoya are basing their poor ness around THEIR environment. So yes, there are MANY people who are actually poor but compared to their UES counterparts they would be considered “poor” due to the fact that they do not have the insane amount of disposable wealth that the other characters have and I do not really see that as them trying to cosplay as poor.
Also what are your thoughts on her argument on GG not really talking about class consciousness and POC issues. Even though the characters Ursula, Jane and Raina had short appearances on the show, as a Black person I think that is was great that they added the few POC characters on GG because their identity was not the main focus of their characters. Usually with Black or POC characters they have to go through some racial turmoil as part of the plot and in GG they got to be rich UES-ers simply because they are. Even though GG is very verryy flawed Penelope, Nelly, Kati, Isabelle and Zoe were shown how POC characters can be rich like the white characters in the show as well GG is obviously a fictional show that’s not based on anything so I don’t think that racial income statistics/racial implications need to be talked about 24/7.
so i started watching this video & just ended up reading the transcript instead. anyway. under a read more:
like, yes. i agree with her on one hand - i think gossip girl 2007 messed up by making dan's grievances be connected to financial status, because the humphreys certainly weren't "poor". like i think this point she says makes sense to an extent:
The comparison between outsiders and insiders and gossip girl is all about relativity. To the average viewer it seems absurd that a character like Dan is supposed to represent the outsider when he is so farther in than any of us could get.
But honestly, something i hate is how people who talk about this show act as if everyone who's watching is expected to know the prices of rent in new york city, etc. like i did NOT realise how expensive that loft is until someone else mentioned it to me and i would not have guessed! who is your "average viewer" - is it an American? someone who lives in New York? someone who lives in Brooklyn? you can't just define an average viewer in that way, i feel! like you are making a BIG Assumption there and it's not necessarily accurate. people who aren't american watch american tv! such is the world we are living in.
but keeping that aside, yeah: dan and jenny had stable and secure housing, the guarantee of meals, and were attending expensive private schools, so i think the show's messaging regarding class was a little strange. they definitely weren't in a financially unstable situation.
but also, you're right. like, dan and jenny weren't super duper broke, and at no point do they actually act like they are, tbh. dan is very 'oh my parents sacrificed so much to send me to st jude's' and jenny is very 'damn i wish i was richer' but there isn't really an instance where the humphreys seem to view themselves as being extremely poor, that i remember at least. in s1, jenny says something along the lines of, "we're humphreys; we're not exactly royalty." and like. she is not wrong! they're financially stable kids, but they're ordinary kids living in an environment where everyone else has the safety net of millionnaire parents to fall back on, and however much money rufus has, he isn't that.
so i think it's a grey area, like, YES, the humphreys have wealth related privilege (i don't know if this can be said for v, because honestly we don't know much about her living situation, but we do know that she works as a waitress for a bit in s1, and also that she's homeschooled, so she isn't shelling out big $$ for school fees.) but also dan and jenny are treated as 'less than' because they are considered nobodies.
and i feel like THAT is the angle the show should have taken. not "i am oppressed because i am not rich" but rather, "everyone at school alienates me and treats me different and it's making things so difficult for me." whenever people say that dan and jenny acted like they were more oppressed than they actually were i'm like. they were both, in different ways, made to feel small and insecure and hopeless, at school? like of COURSE they're gonna feel victimised. dan is treated like he doesn't exist, and jenny is treated so horribly that i don't even have an adjective. like. i think the writing of the show would've been much stronger if it had focused on THAT and not made it a class thing.
i haven't watched the reboot beyond ep02, so i'm not gonna comment on that.
so yeah, i don't think it was 'cosplaying poor' as much as it was 'showing wealth related stuff extremely inaccurately.' like an anon told me, portraying nyu as community college is super inaccurate, as well. and it makes no sense? like i don't know why they had to do this and why they couldn't just... shoot at a regular community college. gossip girl 2007 did not care for representing poor people at all, like, if you watch the show you can tell that it just luxuriates in this aesthetic of like: more food than anybody can eat at every meal. so many luxuries. unnecessarily expensive things everywhere. like the show was very much luxury porn. to me it felt like it wasn't cosplaying poor as much as it was offering people a chance to wank off to the rich. & maybe because of that, the humphreys weren't allowed to be poorer. gg 2007 wasn't supposed to represent all of NY, it was supposed to represent the uber rich elite. and then you have dan and jenny humphrey, and vanessa abrams. they weren't allowed to be rich, because we needed a class conflict. but they weren't allowed to be poor, either, because this show was all about rich people aesthetics. so we got something weird & in the middle instead.
people forget that chuck was canonically a billionnaire - like, that is a LOT of money. and he is dan & jenny's peer! sadly, i think solely because of THAT, a lot of the oppression the humphreys face... checks out. like chuck being shitty to both dan and jenny - he' has an unethical, absurd, uncomparable-to-whatever-the-humphreys-have amount of money. he can do whatever he wants & buy his way out of there. rufus humphrey's ten thousand dollars or whatever amount he mentions are like pocket change to that guy. if jenny is gonna be treated like a commodity by everyone around her, do her upper middle class roots and expensive loft really matter? well, not do they matter as much as like. can they protect her? (we've watched the show. we know the answer is no.)
re: the characters of colour... i think it's subjective. i ADORE raina, and honestly, if we'd had a NJBC that was nate, serena, blair & raina, the show would've actually been AMAZING. like raina was such a cool character to me - i liked that she was driven, passionate, intelligent, sensitive, caring, fun-loving, thoughtful.... she wasn't on the show for long, but her character felt really solid and fleshed out. i remember a review (idk who wrote this one) in which someone felt that raina's character was "lazy" because a lot of her traits and her backstory paralleled chuck, but i strongly disagree. on raina, those traits were interesting. on chuck, any backstory and larger motive felt like a carpet to cover the dust that was his predatory nature, and to me, felt forced and off. like. this dude assaulted people, i don't care about his daddy issues. but raina seemed SO amazing. her backstory actually fit her personality and gave her depth, and to me, didn't feel forced.
i liked ursula, too! she was a really minor character, but she had a whole arc, and i liked that a LOT. her friendship with serena was very cute! i sadly do not remember jane. i think she was... someone's assistant? but i don't remember who. but i agree with you about raina and ursula, their arcs were very interesting and did not end up being about racial trauma & all that, which, like you said, is refreshing when done right.
that said, i think blair's minions were, uh, an example of blair's racism, and i think it would've been cool if the show unpacked that. blair uses her minions as a status symbol - her 17th birthday at kati's place which is anime themed (?) leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it feels very tokenising of a culture that blair isn't a part of? it would be different if blair treated her minions with respect and dignity and like they were her equals and peers, but she doesn't. the word "minions" itself makes me flinch because it's such a "oh you're inferior" kind of word. it felt to me very much like - they never got to be characters in their own right. they solely existed to prop up blair. and i think that is racist. there was a sense of "Oh, I can't be racist! I have a Black friend and an Asian friend" from Blair - like that's what kati & is were to her. and i think that is a big problem, especially glossed over like that.
i also do think that racial stuff doesn't always need to be the focus! but i don't think it can ever be completely ignored, either. an example of something that is maybe unintentionally racist, but racist nonetheless, is how dan cuts vanessa out of his life entirely but forgives his white friends for treating him farrrr worse. it's an inherent double standard, because dan kind of went "oh yeah. my threshold for white people fucking me over is really high, but if my Black best friend who's so close we're practically family does something even slightly wrong i'm going to cut her out of my life 4ever." did the writers realise this? i don't know. maybe they just didn't think about it. but this is exactly the sort of double standards and racist bullshit that woc, especially Black women, have to face irl (though of course i don't need to tell you that at all), except here, the narrative doesn't even address that, hey, maybe dan's being a dick by reacting this way. and i think that's a problem, too.
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acatnamedpusheen · 4 years
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Come Back To Me (A)
Jaebeom X Reader (angst/fluff )
Words: 1.3K
Wassup guys? Hope you're all doing well! On today's episode of "I'm dying for Jaebeom someone please save me" I give you this fic as a sequel to Tik Tok, but you can also read it as it is. It came out a liiiittle too depressing, but I have to say I like it! l'll go drown in my feels now, please enjoy the story, see you soon with a smut I have prepared :') Also, don't forget to listen to Jaebeom's Come Back To Me, if you haven't already!
Because of a single moment’s mistake I regret every day, always...
It's been a month since you and Jaebeom decided to call it quits in your relationship. These were the hardest, longest and more painful 4 weeks of your life, but you'd managed to pull through thanks to your best friend. You were now living with her and she's been by your side during this difficult time.
You'd cry yourself to sleep almost every single night the first week, locked away in your room. You couldn't look at yourself in the mirror, you knew the misery you felt was evident on your face: dark circles, eyes puffy and red, lips chapped.
To say you missed Jaebeom would be an understatement. The thought of him haunted you day and night. Getting over him seemed impossible. How could such thing be possible, though, when you still loved him?
As weeks went by you began to realise, that time doesn't turn back and you have to move on with your life. Your friend tried to take you out from time to time, always respecting the way you were feeling, she'd never push you. It never seemed fun anymore, going to cafes or bars, all the memories with Jaebum would flood back. How he'd always take pictures of you at the most spontaneous moments and still manage to make them look good. How he'd gaze at you with such sweetness in his eyes from across the table, or how he'd place an arm around your waist and hold you tightly to him when you were sitting next to each other.
This breakup hit you hard, like an arrow shot at your back by Jaebeom himself. Little did you know, however, that he was having as much of a hard time as you. Soon after the day you left him, he realised his mistake. Once the stress had subsided and he got some time for himself, suddenly everything felt empty. Having the thought of you keeping him up at night, Jaebeom regretted giving up on your relationship. It was wrong to have taken it all out on you, but he had to live alone again to understand how different his life with you had been.
The rain was pouring outside, not in a harsh and violent way. It wasn't a storm but a rather heavy rain falling all day long, dampening the tired surface of the city. It matched with your mood, lethargic, feeling as if the water running down the streets getting sucked by they earth was taking you with it. You somehow found peace watching the skies cry, perhaps because some times you just wanted to do the same. The sound of the rain also gave you some kind of relief. The steady pitter-patter of the droplets hitting all kinds of materials, was one of nature's most underrated sounds. You closed your eyes and listened, the window next to the living room sofa slightly open, letting in the scent of damp soil as well.
It was late in the afternoon, the sun had began disappearing, like it did every single day, behind the buildings, away from the face of the earth, until it was its time to shine brightly again. Thus, the light was getting less and less, being held back by the thick grey clouds in the sky.
You were alone in your best friend's living room, as she had left moments ago for a scheduled dinner with her parents. A knock on the door made you slightly jump on your sitting spot and you thought it must have been your friend, coming back to pick up something she forgot.
Without hesitation, you got up and moved towards the door. Opening it, you froze as you faced the person you were least expecting to see again in your life, let alone your front door at this point: Jaebeom.
Of course he was determined to find you, of course he remembered your friend's flat where you were living before you'd moved in with him. He knew you'd be here and he couldn't waste time over unanswered messages and blocked calls. He was the one who pushed you away, so he would have to come and get you back.
You panicked, your heart beating fast, you were nowhere near able to handle this. Instantly, you closed the door again and rested your back against it trying to calm yourself down.
"Y/N... I just want you to hear me out. Can you please open the door so we can talk properly?" his voice was muffled but you could hear the regret, the tiredness in it. Still you refused to open. Did you feel afraid or angry? At that point it was difficult to determine your emotions.
"I don't want to talk to you, what are you even doing here? We're done, don't you remember?" you were trying to get him to leave, or more accurately, you were trying to erase any new hopes of getting back together with Jaebeom.
You heard a faint sigh behind the door. "I'm not giving up again on this, Y/N. I'll sit here and wait until you open the door." he sounded determined.
"Then prepare for a long night." you replied and locked before you went to sit on the sofa going back to gazing the rain pouring outside.
It was getting late, you never heard footsteps, meaning that Jaebeom was actually still on the other side of the door waiting. 'At least he's not sitting in the rain' you thought to yourself, feeling less guilty thanks to the staircase of the apartment building. The truth was, that for the past couple of hours you couldn't focus on anything else. What if this was a chance to get back, make it up and be together to complete each other? What if it was time to end this pain and fill up the void in your hearts? After all, remorse was evident in Jaebeom's voice and he must really mean it for him to find you and insist this much on talking to you.
Slow, soft steps lead you to the door once more. You reached your hand to grab the knob hesitantly and then you unlocked. Jaebeom couldn't believe at first what he was hearing and he swiftly turned to look towards your door. As you opened it, you searched for him outside and saw him sitting on the floor to your right, his eyes shining with hope. He got up and approached you, fighting the urge to pull you into his arms, before he had cleared things out.
You both stayed silent, only the rain could be heard in the distance. Examining each other's eyes you found the same emotions: loneliness, pain, regret.
"Will you forgive me? It was all nonsense, I neglected you." he finally spoke.
"How do I know your feelings are true, that you won't hurt me like this again?" you were questioning everything, even though sincerity was painted over his features.
"You and I both know we're meant to be, so I won't let anything separate us. I love you, Y/N. How much more honest can I be?" he began leaning forward and once he saw you weren't moving away, he finally crushed his lips to yours. His hands, then, cupped your face, melting you into his touch as you threw your arms around his neck, holding on to him for dear life.
It's been too long, too long since you last felt Jaebeom's unique warmth, too long since you last felt complete.
Pulling away breathlessly, he hugged you tightly and you buried yourself in his torso.
"Don't ever make me live without you, Jaebeom" you said, arms tightening around him like he would leave at any moment.
"I won't, Y/N, I won't." he closed his eyes, relieved to have you back at last
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hi! here is the spotify link for my Trollhunters playlist in which i chose one song to represent each episode, listed in order:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7mdB5Vss7D0jAAS2S1sbPP?si=RGdbyHgvQY6PUCM_djbRYQ
full list of why i chose each song + some disclaimers under the cut (very long)
first off: it’s named pretty inconspicuously because this is my personal spotify and i didn’t want my friends figuring out what it was
okay so i’m a musician and i love the use of music in media, so i will often draw connections between how i feel listening to a song and how i feel watching a film or tv show
as a result, i’ve compiled a playlist and an explanation for 52 songs (one to represent each episode of Trollhunters). it’s in order but you could also just shuffle it for a generalized Trollhunters vibes playlist
one final thing: this is by no means a definitive list, and it is heavily biassed because of my taste in music which means it is mostly alternative or indie pop and rock music (there are also a few explicit songs, just a warning) so just to put that out there
alright, here is the complete list of why i chose each song:
Becoming: Part 1
Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
Nothing too specific, it just gives off the vibes of morning, a small town, and the start of something big. I think the lyrics work a bit too but the sound and energy are perfect in terms of cinematic elements so full send on this one.
Becoming: Part 2
Could Have Been Me - The Struts
Chances are, you know this song if you’re a tik tok cosplayer or have seen any video of that sort. This choice felt right in terms of both lyrics and the music itself. It’s very hopeful and it talks about wanting to make something of oneself. I tend to associate this song with Percy Jackson and there are some parallels there. Kind of a modern-day heroism feel, which is definitely fitting for this show and the episode specifically.
Wherefore Art Thou, Trollhunter?
I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers
This episode seems to me like more basic exposition and is just setting up the first arc of the story, so I chose this song not completely for the lyrics (although I do think they fit for Jlaire in terms of Claire and Jim’s interaction but I’m trying my best not to focus too much on them). I think the sound and energy is pretty good for this song, and if you strip the song to its most simple interpretation, it’s clearly about wanting to improve.
Gnome Your Enemy
I’m Just a Kid - Simple Plan
Ha-okay this choice is a bit of a joke because of the angst but honestly I do think it fits for the gang’s first mission and Jim’s attitude and reluctance towards trollhunting in general.
Waka Chaka!
Killer Queen - Queen
Yeah this is mainly for Nomura and her introduction. Not much thought went into this choice but as I make this list I’m finding that episodes that I choose a song for often end up with a song for a character that’s featured (dw there’s not too many of these).
Win Lose or Draal
Centuries - Fall Out Boy
Jim’s first real fight; showing off everything he’s learned so far. Being a moral person and not ‘finishing the fight.’ A hero in the making.
To Catch a Changeling
Brother - Kodaline
So I think this song could definitely be used to represent Jim and Toby, but I wanted to take the chance to choose a song for the protective trust that Draal starts to build with Jim. Obviously this episode is much more than that, but I see that scene where Jim is reflecting Draal’s fighting moves as the unofficial start of their brother-like relationship. So yes, I did pick a song because of one small scene.
Adventures in Trollsitting
Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s
This one is a bit of a joke but Jim is definitely simping for Claire in this episode by volunteering to babysit so I have chosen a song to fit with that. (Also, wOw this explanation makes it VERY clear I’m gen z).
Bittersweet Sixteen
100 Bad Days - AJR
Lyrics specifically fit here. Yes, a lot goes wrong in this episode, but the relationships are strengthened (Blinky and Jim) and it’s sweet in the end.
Young Atlas
Number One Fan - MUNA
Not gonna lie, I wanted to sucker punch Jim in this episode. This song choice is kind of satirical but really just for being confident and self-assured. Lyrics fit for the chorus and parts of the verses.
Recipe for Disaster
Carmen, Suite No. 2: VIII. Habanera - Saint Petersburg Orchestra of the State Hermitage Museum Camerata
Wow that’s a long title. Okay this is the only choice that has no lyrics/is classical on this list, but that is mainly because I chose it specifically for Strickler because he seems like a classical music kind of guy (maybe it’s a changeling thing @ Nomura). Also this is a pretty recognizable piece (in my opinion) and I also think it would sound pretty epic and would make for some great cinematic effects if played during the fight in this episode.
Claire and Present Danger
Seashore - The Regrettes
Originally, I was going to go with a song that fit the heroism arc in this episode but! I focus on Jim a lot in this playlist. Instead, this song is a choice for Claire and where she is in the story (finally being brought into the action). I’ve always loved her for being feminine and badass at the same time, so this song is somewhat a choice as an anthem for her (especially her being so headstrong and determined).
The Battle of Two Bridges
Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy
Teenage recklessness and power. Reminds me of adventures and young adulthood, plus the whole modern heroism again. I think this song also correlated with a high-stakes battle which is exactly what happened in this episode. Plus? How sick would it be if there was a fight and the strikes and dodges were coordinated with the beats in this song??
Return of the Trollhunter
Kids in America - Kim Wilde
More for the vibes in the beginning when it feels like it really should have been a new season. I think the lyrics fit pretty well here too. Fits with Claire joining the team and the heroes starting to come into their own.
Mudslinging
What’s Up Danger (With Black Caviar) - Blackway
This one was fully for Angor Rot and his first real introduction. He’s presented as an obvious and looming threat. While this song’s lyrics fit more with the more badass side of modern heroism (connects to Jim showing off his skills), I think the sounds fit with Angor and how he has begun to raise the stakes. This also may be a result of me associating this song with teenage heroes since it’s from the Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse soundtrack.
Roaming Fees May Apply
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns ‘n’ Roses
What can I say? The gang finds themselves in an unpredictable situation. It’s an adventurous episode to say the least. I feel like this song is used for action movies somewhat often so I’m throwing it in for this episode.
Blinky’s Day Out
Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede
This is almost completely a comedic choice. Barely any thought went into this one, and the lyrics have nothing to do with it. It is purely for the good vibes that always accompany this song because I feel like Blinky’s time on the surface was (at least initially) a “good vibes” situation. The apparent simplicity of being human can feel that way.
The Shattered King
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
I’m using this episode to focus on Toby. Although there’s not much character development in this episode specifically, I think Toby deserves a better arc and I do want to give him at least one song. While I think there’s a lot more to Toby than he lets on or that which is shown in the show, he’s often used for humor and is basically the stereotypical funloving best friend. He seems like he’d enjoy a feel-good, upbeat, “classic” song, and there’s silly dancing in this episode so danceable song! (Also if the show were more accurate to today’s teens, I wholeheartedly believe Toby would be a meme-lover).
Airheads
Little League - Conan Gray
I absolutely love the simplicity of this episode, even if it’s just filler, but I have indeed found a way to make it angsty. This song choice is fully for the lyrics (though the sound isn’t completely wrong for the feel of the episode). I think this show gets progressively more emotional throughout the seasons, and, at this point, the kids are competing for Spring Fling nominations while Toby and Claire deal with a ridiculous problem. Something about this episode just seems to represent naiveté and this song talks about longing to return to childhood and innocence.
Where Is My Mind?
Hotel California - Eagles
Seeing as the obvious choice might have been Where Is My Mind? by Pixies, I tried to branch out here. This episode is honestly eerie because the characters face their worst fears but never discuss them or understand why/how it happened. For me, the vibe was a sort of mellow rock song and a dreamlike state. Thus: Hotel California. If I think about it enough, the lyrics work because of the sort of ominous false sense of security that I imagine using this song for in a story. Ultimately though, it’s the sound and energy.
Party Monster
Candy - Robbie Williams
This is solely for the vibes just because it feels like a party song to me for some reason. Sorry I didn’t put much thought into this one. Also though? This song and its lyrics low-key remind me of Mary and this is one of the few episodes in which she was featured somewhat prominently.
It’s About Time
Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
Definitely not for the lyrics, I think it’s just the sound and the energy almost completely for this song. For me, it just seems very high-energy and almost tense because of a fast heartbeat? I can just imagine this song playing as Jim is racing through town as quickly as possible. It’s a bit stress-inducing, honestly.
Wingmen
Victorious - Panic! At the Disco
High energy, but this is more of a simplistic choice to go with the fight scene and the progress we see from Jim as far as his training goes.
Angor Management
Carry On Wayward Son - Kansas
I chose this song as a representation of the dynamic that we see starting to form between Strickler and Jim. They’ve become unlikely teammates and Strickler is obviously a guiding figure for Jim, but I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s a father figure yet? Lyrics play into this choice a lot.
A Night to Remember
Just Like A Movie - Wallows
Specific to the dance scene. Nighttime lit up by emotion; bright kind of vibe. I thought about some other songs like Don’t Take the Money and Reckless Love (both by Bleachers), also Electric Love by BØRNS (didn’t choose that because I don’t really want to support BØRNS but I won’t get too into that). Ultimately, I think this one works best both with lyrics and overall sound. I’m a sucker for Jlaire so I had to focus on this part of the episode and how cute it was (sorry (not really tho)).
Something Rotten This Way Comes
Lessons - mxmtoon
Thinking about what you’ve learned and how to move forward in the present. Correlates more with where the story is at in this season finale, not as much with what exactly happens in the episode. Definitely a choice made for the lyrics (although Jim probably should have listened to the part about patience).
Escape from the Darklands
Hero - Weezer
Any upbeat, modern rock music for me always seems to fit the vibe for teenage heroes. I think the lyrics hit the nail on the head for characterizing Jim in this episode. He feels a huge responsibility and fear, and isn’t sure he can live up to it. Also I love him but going into the darklands alone? Not the smartest.
Skullcrusher
Off She Goes - Bad Suns
For Claire and her development in this episode. The emotion she has to use and how she pushes herself. The vibes are there but the lyrics in the chorus are what mainly influenced this choice.
Grand Theft Otto
Weightless - All Time Low
Not too sure about the sound with this one but I like the lyrics here for the dual plot of the episode. I think the whole thing with having a hard time and struggling but also not giving up hope resonates pretty generally with the trollhunters, but also specifically with Jim in the darklands and Claire and Toby (& Blinky) getting stuff done because they’re determined to save both Jim and AAARRRGGHH!!!
KanjigAAARRRGGHH!!!
Highway to Hell - AC/DC
This one is kind of a joke but kind of not. Seeing as this is the episode that the rest of the group goes to the *Darklands* to save Jim, I think the lyrics unironically fit in a humorous way. Can’t go wrong with classic rock either. (Can you tell I was struggling with this one?)
Homecoming
Life on Mars? - David Bowie
Okay, this is kind of just an excuse for me to throw this song in here, but it reminds me of a ragtag team of heroes who don’t necessarily win but live to see another day (probably because of this song’s feature in American Horror Story: Freak Show). Lyrics not so much throughout the song as a whole, but the vibes are definitely there in the chorus. A joke song that came to mind for this (for obvious reasons) was My Boyfriend’s Back by The Angels.
Hiss Hiss, Bang Bang
Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year - Fall Out Boy
Mostly for the vibes, correlates with the energy that Jim has after finally coming home. Also, lyrics fit pretty well here.
Hero with a Thousand Faces
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants
I was searching for so long to find a song to match the chaos and hilarity of this episode (idc if it’s filler I love it so much), and realized only something just as obscure would work. The song and the episode have virtually nothing in common other than they are both ridiculous and I love them for it (sorry if that’s disappointing but hey). Also ever since I saw The Umbrella Academy use this for a fight scene I’ve loved the idea of this song in shows/movies with heroes so maybe this could fit with when Jim fought Hunter!Jim.
Just Add Water
The Kids Aren’t Alright - Fall Out Boy
I love this episode for the irony of the flour baby assignment. The main group is just dealing with so much more than health class homework at this point and yet they still take it so seriously. I chose this song partially because I really wanted to fit it in this list somewhere but I also think it correlates with the characters being so heavily involved in this dangerous, heroic life and still flying mostly under the radar in their small town. They’re going through a lot yet no one seems to notice.
Creepslayerz
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
This one is for the eagerness that Eli and Steve have to fight the ‘bad guys.’ They’re excited to form a team and I think their dynamic works with this. Also I love their dynamic so much we need more of them.
The Reckless Club
I Was a Teenage Teenager - Green Day.
Really just a fun loving song about kids being kids. Considered Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds as a Breakfast Club reference but figured I’d try not to make it too easy.
Unbecoming
Generation Why - Conan Gray
Correlates with ordinary life, lack of adventure and wanting something more (both sound and lyrics).
Mistrial and Error
Run Boy Run - Woodkid
Purely for the scene in The Deep where Jim fights his greatest fear. The lyrics are perfect and I could absolutely see this song playing as Jim faces The Deep.
In the Hall of the Gumm-Gumm King
Revolution Radio - Green Day
I think high energy fights + the neon color palette and destruction in Trollmarket fit perfectly with the energy and sound of this song. Obviously also the epic portal escape at the end. I didn’t want to use Children of the Sun by Thomas Bergensen (although that’s a super good song and the instrumental version, None Shall Live, is used in the episode) and thought this one’s lyrics fit well with the team’s resistance/rebellion and renegade status.
A Night Patroll
Next Up Forever - AJR
This is not particularly chosen for the lyrics, but I do think they fit more or less. Correlates with this being the start of season 3, the tension is getting thicker and the stakes are rising. The vibe here is not necessarily being ready to take on responsibilities you know you have to, and being nervous to do so. (I am definitely focusing on Jim a bit much here, but the show is too).
Arcadia’s Most Wanted
Young and Menace - Fall Out Boy
Although the team has been acting as heroes for a while, this is their first time defeating regular crime - the first few phrases of lyrics fit with that the most. Figured it goes with underestimating teenagers. Also I’m noticing while editing that there is a ton of Fall Out Boy in this playlist.
Bad Coffee
The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low
I chose this one for one of my favorite team-up dynamics: Jim, Toby, Steve, and Eli. The energy and the lyrics in this song I just think are perfect for this group and I think could also correlate with the whole grave sand training thing Jim did in the beginning (‘reckless’ & ‘brave’).
So I’m Dating a Sorceress
Love is Dead and We Killed Her - Doll Skin
Purely for Morgana’s raw badass energy. That’s it, that’s the explanation.
The Exorcism of Claire Nuñez
Rubi - Doll Skin
Specific to Claire, could also be seen as her possession but leans more into her own personal power. Lyrics are definitely important but I think the sound also fits Claire's character.
Parental Guidance
The Times They Are A-Changin’ - Bob Dylan
Not for the energy at all because I can’t really pinpoint that but! lyrics are important here and (even though I think it’s self-explanatory) represent the parents’ reactions.
The Oath
The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance
The lyrics for this one definitely work - about pain and grief but also moving through it. Definitely chose this one for Draal but his death was the main event of the episode so that feels justified. I think the sound is a bit intense for the energy of this episode but I’m really pushing the angst and sorrow with this one. At least I didn’t use Another One Bites The Dust by Queen >:).
For the Glory of Merlin
Yesterday - The Beatles
This one is a bit of a stretch and it was difficult to choose for a while but I personally see Merlin as a morally gray character (although i wasn’t a fan of how he talked to Claire and manipulated Jim but anyway) and I think he’s got a very complicated past. He mentioned that he used to have a pure heart and I found that very interesting so this song is an ode to who he possibly used to be with its lyrics. Also they literally step back into a frozen moment in this episode in time so this felt fitting.
In Good Hands
California Friends - The Regrettes
More for the sweet relationship building that this episode does, and the potential of a closer friendship (the kind we see in D’aja Vu in 3Below). This song is arguably more about romantic love but I think it could work with platonic. (Also Arcadia is literally in California and we need a sunshiny song amidst all the angst in this season).
A House Divided
Ribs - Lorde
Ha-yeah, sorry guys but I had to do it. Quite obviously specific to the bathroom scene and especially the montage right when Jim steps into the tub, about loss of childhood and memories, growing up. I think a lot of people know and have cried to this song, much like a lot of us cried watching this episode.
Jimhunters
Untitled - mxmtoon
Slowly growing up, having to deal with changing relationships. Dealing with hardships while lonely is clearly a big part of most of this episode, but the song correlation breaks off a bit towards the end; the lyrics focus more on pushing through on your own while the episode talks about counting on one another in difficult times. I think it also plays into being a bit fearful of the future and having to adjust to new situations while remembering the past.
The Eternal Knight: Part 1
Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen
The vibes that go with the battle of the bands and also the onset of the fight when everything is getting more dangerous. Also the part of the battle before Jim takes on Angor Rot and Gunmar, where all the trollhunters, creepslayerz, and citizens are fighting together.
The Eternal Knight: Part 2
Time of Our Lives - Tyrone Wells
I know we’ve all heard this in fan-made edits after a series or show ends, but there’s a reason everyone uses this song. Feels like a very nice culmination, specific to parting ways with those you love after shared experiences. Really just for the last scene. This whole playlist idea came from me listening to this song in an edit and getting emotional so there’s that.
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axther · 4 years
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(1/3?)Hi! Idk if you're still doing match ups but I was wondering if i could get a bnha match up pls! If not, please feel free to ignore my ask, I completely understand and hope you're resting 💕 if soooo-I’m a straight cis Hispanic female that’s 5ft tall, I have wide hips, big butt/thighs, my top half ain’t special tho and I have black hair/bangs and brown eyes+glasses! I’m a cancer with an INFP personality, I’m shy and closed off at first but as I get used to you I open up.
me, drinking one (1) small frozen hot chocolate my mom got me from dunkin donuts: that’s enough nutrients right 
#1 is...Todoroki! 
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daddy issues gang 
While I’m all for Endeavour learning and trying to be a better human being 
We all know some part of Todoroki will still feel angry 
Justifiably so 
So when y’all meet it’s on sight 
Please listen to him 😔 
He doesn’t vent to a lot of people unless it’s on accident 
So once he realises you get him, on a bit of different level 
He’s a bit of a chatterbox 
Well, for him, anyway 
Even if it’s just a couple of snarky comments here and there
They increase when he’s around you 
So you two are the source of popular discussion outside of class 
Are you guys just friends? 
Are you guys dating?
Are you guys someone’s secret love children? 
So maybe Todoroki started that one but you guys are like glue with each other 
It’s a sort of yin-yang situation 
You’re more willing to open up than he is 
And in return he’s there to just chill in case you need some downtime 
It’s a balance you guys have perfected, and one that both you guys need 
There are nights where he’ll come into your room, and he’ll have fresh bruises 
And he’ll talk 
And talk and talk and talk 
It’s the most he ever talks 
And you just listen, playing with his hair a bit while your window is open 
And there’s a breeze in the room 
Sometimes he’ll talk about his parents, about how he feels about how they are now, how he felt about then back then 
Sometimes he’ll talk about the pressures of school 
Sometimes he’ll talk about you and him 
Those conversations are always small and soft 
You never really asked each other ‘Hey, do you wanna go out?’ 
But it’s unspoken, softly, sweetly 
And in the dark of the dorms, you both know 
It’s a balance 
And it’s one that can’t be broken 
#2 is...Iida! 
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To say that Iida was whipped would be accurate 
You were the epitome of a high school student
Casual, but cool, but also keeps to herself
Iida, on the other hand, was stiff
He knew this 
He knew he didn’t act like a normal teenager 
So he starting noting you as an example 
Whenever you showed Mina a video 
He would begin to look into it 
He doesn’t really know what Tik Tok is supposed to be 
But he gets the app anyway
Soon enough, he’s able to chime in on certain topics 
And so, all throughout the school year, he essentially copies what you’re doing
Specifically, what you do when you’re with your friends 
By 3rd year, he realises he has a crush 
Technically, this wasn’t a problem 
But it slowly started to poke at him 
He’s too rigid for him to let it consume him 
But he’ll be in a store, staring at something 
And he’ll think “Larissa’ll like that.”  
It becomes something he dwells on in his free time
Even after y’all graduate 
Does he ever confess? 
Maybe 
If he waits until after you guys graduate, he’ll be swamped with hero work 
The prime time would’ve been when y’all were in highschool, 
The longer he waits, the more anxious he gets. 
In the end, it’s up to fate. 
#3 is...Kirishima! 
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Y’all are peas in a pod 
A bit closed off, but still nice 
Y’all know what’s up 
You two are the couple that everyone knows, but likes 
You guys don’t have excessive PDA 
And you two don’t get super jealous over anything
It’s like the perfect duo!! 
And your vibes are exceptional 
It’s almost calming
You guys have your friend groups 
And though some of them intersect, it’s mostly separate.
You two visit each other’s dorms often, and when you’re not at the dorms, you’re at each other’s house  
It’s a sweet sort of delicate domesticity 
You guys will cook together, and when you watch movies, he’ll let you pick bc that’s the manly thing to do 
He’ll be over the moon if you sing or dance for him 
He’s your ultimate hypeman!! 
Please please compliment him 
He may love you lots but he’s still insecure 
And while he’ll listen to you whenever
Listen to him too!! 
But either way
He’s absolutely head over heels for you 
Will he propose?? 
Most likely 
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talix18 · 5 years
Text
November 6 (evening)
This is my first attempt at night writing – work had the audacity keep me busy all day. And it's clear my external hard-drive is getting ready to die – my computer only recognizes it intermittently and keeps asking me if I want to format it.
I used to feel really competent around technology. I've been working in IT since...1999? I was young and teachable then; taking PC Repair and Networking Technology classes and paying for my own CompTIA Net+ certification (yes, I'm old). I'm not afraid to push buttons to see what happens and I've been on the Internet since Usenet newsgroup days. But that was when the technology sat still – on your desk, not in your pocket. Cybersecurity wasn't a thing then because there was barely any cyberspace. Now I'm working with the most absurd combination of old and new technology and our tools are changing faster than I can keep up with them.
Don't even talk to me about apps. I tapped out at...Tik Tok? Before that.
What the hell do I have 450 GB of on my external drive? No, it's not porn. I mean, there's some porn, but probably more of myself than of anyone else. I went through a phase. Some of it even ended up on the Internet (on private servers, amongst friends). How grateful am I that I got clean before social media was a thing?
My using story is actually really boring. Pot and alcohol were my drugs of choice; alcohol was the one that always got me in trouble. I started treatment for depression when the guy I was dating at the time, T, handed me the phone in his office and told me to say “hello”. “Who is it?” I'm sure I asked. “Just say hello.” “Hello?”
It was a counselor at a clinic with a sliding scale, and I have no memory of how I felt once I figured that out. I didn't try to deny I had a problem. Our first clue that it wasn't my only problem was when the doctor who eventually saw me wanted to start me on antidepressants and told me I couldn't drink while taking them. “Put me on a low dose, then,” I said, “because T and I are going to Europe for three weeks and I promise you I will be drinking there.” T's grandparents lived in Munich and we were going to see them, along with some of the continental highlights (Paris, Florence, Rome, Salzburg). We would NOT being going to Amsterdam, T told me, so don't even ask. Hmm.
I knew that pot was important to me. There was the weekend of the blizzard, forecast far enough in advance so you could get where you wanted to be for two or three days. I wanted to be with my friends D&J and whoever else ended up there, because that's where the pot was going to be. T wanted me to come to his place. There was no way for me to tell T that I wanted to be with friends without saying “Weed is more important to me than you are.” I remember thinking about breaking up with him and putting it off, afraid we wouldn't go to Europe if I did. So I spent the weekend at his (parents') place, we went to Europe, and broke up on our fifth day there. In Geneva. The Geneva Discord. Which ended up being for the best, as it got everything out in the open and we could have a good time. We still had great sex.
Then three weeks later, after a morning of riding horses across the Icelandic country-side, I was waving goodbye to him at the airport. He went with his folks and I went with mine. I remember one awkward getting together to go through pictures. He was a photographer. The best piece of life advice I have for anyone is to go someplace beautiful while you are still young and beautiful with someone who loves you and is a photographer. He took some amazing pictures of me.
Years later, my mother told me that T called her for months afterward, wanting to know how I was. Wondering if I was okay. I was mostly okay – still living in Mom's basement, going to grad school, working mostly full-time. Grad school had been Mom's idea. There was no question of whether I'd go to college – she and my father were the first generation in their families to go to college and it was important to both of them, and I liked school. School is my jam. I love to read and learn and feel smart understanding abstract concepts like quantum theory and Existentialism. In college one of my specialties was rephrasing whatever the teacher was saying so the rest of the class would understand it. Everyone wanted to study from my notes.
You always liked school, Mom said, so why don't you go back? One of my favorite professors in undergrad was the Philosophy Chair at a school with a grad program so I went. And loved it. I took classes in Literature and was finally appreciated what I was reading. I took “Cosmos and Quanta” and so much philosophy. It was a Catholic college and I remember one day a nun – I don't remember which flavor – came to talk to us about I don't even remember what, but she passed around a basket of stones. When I pulled out the one that looked like a slab of petrified layers with clear quartz in the middle, she said “I knew you were going to pick that one,” and I felt seen and recognized and valued without knowing that's what it was. I've always questioned my value. I don't know where that comes from.
I always knew my mother loved me. It never occurred to me to doubt that. Anytime I was sick in the middle of the night, even if I'd brought it on myself, she'd come sit with me and hold my hair and give me a warm washcloth for my face. No matter how old I am, no matter how old she is, if she has a home, I have a home. I am grateful for my mother every day.
I have a memory I believe is watching Dad drive away the day he moved out. I have no idea if it's accurate, but it's me watching him pull out of the parking lot from my bedroom window. There's a scene in Hope Floats where Bernice is begging her father not to leave without her, and it kills me every time.
All my memories of spending time with Dad before he got remarried are sad. I don't know if he was sad, if I was sad, or if we both were. I do remember Mom saying if I was going to be so upset every time I came home from my father's, maybe I should stop going, and that made it worse. It was weird having divorced parents in the mid-70s. It made me different from other kids. I felt a lot of things and had no understanding of what I was feeling or how to express it. All I knew was that I was sad.
Mom remarried first, I think, and wow, let's not even talk about that.
I started wondering if Dad loved me when he met his new girlfriend, G, who was seven years younger than he was and had a younger brother. I'd watch Dad and D playing in the yard and wondered if he'd've been happier if I'd been a boy. Then maybe things wouldn't be so awkward between us. I don't know if I knew the word “awkward” then. Dad and G got married and I was glad he wasn't alone anymore. He lived in a rowhouse with two other guys. One got married and moved out, then Dad got married and the other guy moved out so G could move in and I remember being glad my dad wasn't the last single one. Who thinks that stuff at 9? Maybe we all do.
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rawrmeansmemes · 8 years
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THE KEY OF AWESOME LYRICS
Send the word ‘AWESOME’ and I will generate a random lyric from a Key of Awesome parody video using this generator. 1-145
That guy sure was grumpy, but no one can touch me as long as I'm swaggy
Your daddy told me that he'd murder me but I'm sure he was bluffing
I'm hot shit, I'm way cool!
I'm the toughest dude, in my home-school.
Your daddy is whiney. His wiener is tiny. Is he right behind me? That was a joke
Its the future and everything is weird. 
Check out this guy, hes got a metal beard.
I give good headache, I'll make you scream. 
Is this reality or just a fever dream?
I like to jerk  and twitch this is how I dance. 
Sometimes we like to sing like we are underwataah. 
And the Joker pulls crimes in such an orderly manner. He must write it down in an evil day planner 
His henchmen are psycho and expendable yet somehow completely dependable 
And I wont try to touch your boobies on the first date.
Ill take you out to Chuck E Cheese and  then a Pixar movie
I drink Jager bombs and get destroyed and grind on guys who are unemployed. 
I put gel in my hair til it's bullet proof 
Wake up in the morning looking greener than Shrek 
When I hang around my house I do it theatrically 
Dont you know I hate it when you sneak up on me like that .I was just about to crack you in the head with this bat
So now Im gonna read a book and give you a dirty look 
I like to dress up like a fabulous clown 
Youre hot, but youre dumber than a shoe
First of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance and it's not even close to Poker face or Just Dance 
Im made of cupcakes, ice cream, and flowers 
Young girls are helpless to my dark powers 
I got em drooling like golden retrievers 
Hes worse than Backstreet Brothers on the Block. 
This little motherfuckers gonna ruin my rep 
A cloud pooped out a rainbow turd
I had a dream the other night that Elmo and I got in a fight
If you ain't rich, they're goin' nowhere near your wiener
Don't need brains if that ass is fine 
I want to go ahead and apologize in advance for what is probably going to be an underwhelming experience for you. 
F.Y.I. lately I haven't been able to have an orgasm without crying.   
He's self conscious bout my man boobs and my hairy chest 
He took off his shirt but he's still got a furry vest 
And now you're freakin' cus your thinkin' what the hell have I gotten my self into 
As you look in his eyes you will soon realize that you won't be coming too 
I'm not afraid to piss and moan about my feelings and how I've grown 
This towns a zit lets squeeze the puss don't look at us like we're disgust...ing 
Can't read my tik tok bla bla face 
I'm partying with nuns 
I'm peein' in your yard 
We just met, but I know you're my soul mate 
I've got your name tattooed on my chest, neck, and face 
Lets get hitched right away or at least pick a date. I've got next week open. When do you have open? 
I tripped and fell on my ass and all the children laughed 
Let me introduce you to the skanks and douche bags in the soul destroying line at the club
Guess what, we just banged in the elevator 
These pants are too small. They're skin tight. They're squeezing my balls.
I've got them moves like grandpa
I've got them boobs like grandma 
But like a bellboy I take care of your bags 
I may be a duck, but I ain't no quack 
You leave with a looking like the Bride of Frankenstein 
I get more ass than a toilet seat 
Cops let me sing in the fuckin' street
My life is an endless buffet of hoes 
I been pimpin ever since my voice got low 
I could be partying with hookers and blow 
Hello Hello How do you make the phone call someone back? 
And if they catch him he will surely be dismembered 
Tonight for dinner we're splitting a candy bar 
We are the seventh sign of the apocalypse 
Me and my four friends all want you so desperately 
I like the fact that we wear the same size Capri's 
I made you poptarts with extra gravy 
The doors are locked now. You can't escape me. 
You're my one and only that's what my dog told me
Now lets sacrifice some chickens
Feel free to spank me 
They tell me it's just a nerd show, but Dragons are real to me 
Winter Is coming I'm not sure what that means but you can bet it's probably bad news 
We’re impossibly cute
Damn this song is mad catchy
So I bought this  hipster voodoo doll with a beard 
I'm stabbing him right in his Gyllenballs 
This'll be the last time that I call tonight 
Like, we sort of did. My stuffed animals totally remember it. 
Gonna get my eye brows threaded then then I'll get a funky skunky stripe put on my head 
Oh Peeka-peeka-boo where did I come from? 
You're not as cute as these other two. 
I'm stroking on this wooden thing and trying to make a sound but I have no ability
It's really hard to concentrate while I'm counting sheeps 
I like to place a popsicle between my 2 butt cheeks 
Someone sound the trumpets now lets do some hey's and ho's
They way we play is pure and honest bordering on weird and Amish 
It's my career I can do a shark jump
Hands in my pants cus I'm itchy there
Ain't never gonna marry Thor's brother now
Now I'm dating a french guy made outta french fries 
I look just like tweety If he was slutty 
It's my booty I can drag it on the rug 
Just replaced breakfast with crack. 
I spent the past several months hiding in my Gagarage 
Now lets try on some bras with claws and balls 
I was once full of shit now, I think shit is full of me. 
I'm not allowed to move my lips Cus my singing face is really homely 
Can't decide which boy I like--Gale is buff, and Peeta's nice 
Don't which cute dude is cuter
I'm Catching Fire down below 
Ew, I hate when people set me up with guys 
But first I'll brush my teeth and gargle with this booze. 
Do you mean going down on me, senor clean? 
I just fell down, crashed through a winder! 
This song is about objectifying women and selling products like Pitbull's Fried Chicken 
Just stay put my butt will find your butt. 
I'd kill and I'd steal and I'd cheat on my taxes and french kiss a frog for that boy
Baby you could be my locksmith cus having safe sex is what I'm all about 
Here's my horny sadface 
Just go home you sound like Gollum 
My voice is a cross between a baby and Biggie and Bane 
I would say that's accurate so you cant call me Titbull 
If you break my heart, you'll end up in a shitty song 
Gonna find him and squish his testicles 
Cuz my bang bang boom clap Anaconda's gotta stay high 
I'm like a little fancy baby or an alcoholic furby 
But my wee wee got scared when you took off your clothes
I owe you a sexy explanation 
I only sing about cocaine and sex
But I thought this haunted shit hole flat was a good place to meet to reopen every wound
Man, technology sucks!
I’ll just go yell outside!
You still can’t take a joke
Did I say Skanky? I meant to say swanky and super cute.
Now, I’m gonna miss the butt slapping party
It’s time to fuck off!
Roll the nostalgic clips from last week
No more sexy loitering 
It’s part porn--part true detective intro
Just went blonde. They have more fun--I’ve been told.
Pillowfuck is what I do when she’s gone
It’s what happens to schmucks who fuck with me
I just flew in from hell because we’re besties
I like to go to the beach in full make up
Help me I’ve fallen and don’t want to get up
I am a floppy sex fish try to catch me, flop flop
I’m the winner of the touch myself contest
This doesn’t feel sexy if I’m being honest
Whacked him like Pacino then screamed ‘Hoo Ah”
I am Chewbacca
I’m playing Mothafuckin Star Wars
You tried to kill me. But, I didn’t die.
I just drank sixteen cups of coffee--need that toddler energy
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