#and thus often pushed me to do things anyway

[altruistic-meme]

fanfic writer ask E! :3

:3

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

ough that is SO HARD. i identify a lot with different characters in different ways how am i supposed to pick ;;;;

hnn i think probably, the character i see myself in the most is Wilhelm. there are a lot of aspects of his personality and his life that i relate to so strongly, including parts i think the fandom overlooks quite often like social anxiety vs. general anxiety vs. introversion and i relate to that in the way of like. people mistake my behaviors so often. thinking that they come from one thing when really it's from something else.

(ie. i hard disagree that Wilhelm is introverted or has social anxiety - but he certainly has severe general anxiety. and i feel like those things often get mixed up or mistaken for each other. and for me, i spent a lot of my life being forced into situations that caused me immense levels of anxiety because my social anxiety was mistaken for simply being reluctant bc i was introverted. probably didn't help how much i masked my anxiety rip)

as for my fics that i feel capture the crossover between me and Wilhelm...... i know i always say LVOE. but like probably LVOE.

it's in the feeling of falling in love with every small thing. it's in the way he buries how hurt he is to make the people around him happy, or because he knows that it's what his mother expects of him. it's in the way he's devastated about something but not allowed to show it at all. it's in the way he confides in someone when he finally hits the breaking point, the point where he can't go on, where he's a danger to himself if he doesn't tell someone.

i tried to pull these aspects that i saw in small moments of young royals and tied them to my own emotions about similar things i've been through and experienced. i've said it before, but LVOE. was written without any kind of plan, and almost entirely from the heart. it was just my own thoughts and feelings pouring on to the page.

[ fic writer alphabet ask game <3 ]

[oceaneyesinla]

I needed to write Chuuya, because he has taken my whole heart

Divider by @/cafekitsune

Chuuya pushed open the door to his office, intending to cross the room to his desk and finish the paperwork still outstanding from his last mission. It had been pushed aside in recent weeks due to unrest in Yokohama, which could only be solved by yet another uneasy alliance with the ADA. It wasn't what he wanted to spend his evening doing, but the quicker he finished, the quicker he could get home.

Instead, he stopped dead just a couple of paces inside, blinking slowly at the sight before him - you, his girlfriend, waving at him from the fancy velvet couch he splurged on when he became an executive. Of course, having you there wasn't a problem; on the contrary, he loved having you nearby, and he would never pass up an opportunity to see your pretty face.

Problem was, you never should have been able to get into the building, much less up to the executive offices, only a floor below Mori-san's own. He would criticise the Port Mafia members protecting the building, but he knew from experience just how cunning you could be, and working with Dazai day in, day out only made you more of a menace.

“You don't look happy to see me, Chuuya.” You pushed out your bottom lip in an exaggerated pout, and you had never looked cuter. He moved to cradle your face, running a thumb over your plush lip.

“You know that's not true, angel. I'm just wondering how you got in here.”

Your pout was quickly replaced by a bright smile and a mischievous shine in your eyes, “A master can't reveal their secrets! What if you block my entrance and I have to find another way in?”

“Pretty sure nothing would stop you for too long. I know you and shitty Dazai memorised the place years ago.”

You took his hand in your own, pressing a kiss to his palm even as that cheeky smile remained in place, “That doesn't sound like something we would do. Anyway, I only did it so I could come and see Chuuya whenever I want.”

That, he was grateful for. He had already been envisioning you, shuffling around in an empty apartment, waiting for him to come home. Having you here, sitting pretty for him on his couch, was the best motivation for him to finish up quickly. After all, his girl needed to eat, and he needed to wrap you up in his arms in your shared bed.

“Can't leave straight away, angel. Mori-san needs this paperwork.” He tried to soften the blow by smoothing a hand over your hair, brushing a few stray strands behind your ear.

Your smile morphed into something softer, and he loved you a little more for understanding just what being a Port Mafia executive entailed, “I figured. You've been running yourself ragged the last few weeks, partnering up with us. I came here to wait for you, so we can go home together.”

His sweet girl. He leaned down, pressing a chaste but loving kiss to your lips, reluctantly pulling away to take a seat at his desk. As he started to write, pen scratching against the paper, you pulled out a book - the latest volume of your favourite manga, he noted with a smile.

It turned out the work was a lot more bearable when every so often, he could flick his eyes upwards and watch you enjoy your manga; silent gasps and mouthed words escaping you every so often. It was entertaining, to be privy to your excitement. He knew he would get a detailed retelling of the story thus far, and he couldn't wait.

With a final signature, his work for the evening was done. Mori-san could have it first thing in the morning. Right now, he had far bigger priorities. You had stopped shuffling in the last few minutes, and when his eyes travelled to you, he had to hold back an affectionate chuckle.

You had turned onto your side, facing the room, your manga tucked into your arms like the world's most uncomfortable teddy bear. Your cheek was smushed against the fabric of the pillow tucked under your head, and he thanked his past self for investing in such expensive cushions. Only the best for his girl. To top it all off, your mouth was slightly open, little puffs of air escaping you as you slept.

All in all, you looked silly, you looked comfortable, and you looked like the most beautiful thing he had ever set his eyes upon. How he got so lucky as to have you in his life, he wasn't sure, but he would never take your presence for granted.

With a smile he knew was far too fond for a hardened Port Mafia executive, he tidied up his loose ends and made sure everything was in order. Once he was ready to leave, he quietly approached the couch, slipping one arm under your knees and one under your back, gently lifting you up and cradling you against his chest. He tried to jostle you as little as possible, but years of living in the darkness of Yokohama's underworld meant you stirred anyway. You relaxed almost instantly, though, resting your head against his shoulder and nuzzling against his neck.

“We goin’ home?” Your words were muffled by the skin of his neck, and still sleep heavy. He tightened his arms around you just a little, holding you closer against him.

“Yeah, angel, we're going home.”

You pulled away from him just enough to let him see your sleepy smile before your head thunked against his shoulder once more. He didn't need to look to know you were already slipping into sleep again.

Getting out of the building was easier than he expected - he had visions of bumping into Mori-san, or Akutagawa. Thankfully, the only person he saw was Gin, who took one look at the precious cargo he carried and pointedly looked away.

He slid you into the front seat of his car, carefully buckling you in and pressing a kiss to your forehead before circling to the driver's seat. When he got in, he turned his head to find your eyes watching him, slow blinks doing nothing to mask your adoration. He felt a flush in his cheeks at the attention - after all this time, he still wasn't used to your open, unshakable love for him.

“Love you, Chuuya.” You reached out to squeeze his hand, and when he tangled your fingers together and lifted your hand to his lips, the smile you gave him could have lit all of Japan.

“Love you too, angel.”

[murderofsomeone]

it's probably decently obvious that my main lemon demon design was created BEFORE seeing any fandom depictions (or even really that much official art past the logo) because of how violently he stands out in comparison to other designs. it's a little obvious that my inspiration was self-contained and it granted me a bit of creative freedom along with a completely different train of thought while designing him. his three eyes however is very much a relic of 2022 because I was designing a lot of demons with asymmetrical faces at the time and well, why not make another

anyway here's a comparison of him to my most recent lemon demon original design (where it's a bit more obvious I was influenced by somewhat of a fandom culture)

extra bonus rambling under the cut

my general design process has actually stayed relatively contained with a few exceptions like soft fuzzy man's color and weirdly neil himself. yeah sorry chat neil is the first guy that was highly influenced by someone else's design you can shoot me too if you'd like. but I legitimately believe he's the only real example because every other character that has a design remotely similar to someone else is likely due to us both following a similar source material (like my cabinet design being based off polybius) or there being only so many ways to interpret the design (gef the mongoose would've fallen into this category if it wasn't for the fact I made him Joker colors)

in general I tend to follow a mindset of how "weird" I can make a design or how much I can push a lyric/implement it into a design. I also like to twist around the convention and try new things. a good example of both of these apply to my doctor amnesia design.

really the main things going through my head were "well he didn't state HOW many eyes", chosing an eye color that often is overlooked in conventional beauty standards to elevate them and cause you to think, while leaning into the somewhat otherworldly nature she's depicted in by giving her blue skin, a color I associate with the song.

another fun thing I'll do is create a "design pipeline" where I'll take an attribute and run it through a list of connections before we end up in a place long past where we started or just combining a bunch of traits that could be interpreted that way, resulting in designs like this.

though wolfgang isn't my weirdest design, he definitely did not start where we ended off. I believe before the wizard of oz theming for clown circus was set in stone (a choice that has EVERYTHING to do with oz explodes and an element I'll explain later), he was some kinda mirror object head that had absolutely nothing to do with his current namesake. since I wasn't satisfied with that design, I kept a relative aspect of the personality and shapes and thus ended up creating a really interesting take on a character who is largely depicted as... well there's no really good way to say this, but Bad.

since I was working with a new fresh aspect I started by making him a wolf... and then connecting him to "there's a robot in my head". this kind of connected the dots to ultimately make him associated to the tin man, since no one was connected to that character for the wizard of oz element and it was up for grabs (this is also how he somehow got associated with toasters via connecting the previously mentioned song to "what's in the toaster", etc etc). these pipelines of connecting songs that aren't normally related, but making them Work in a believable way makes designs more interesting for me and gives them a bit more purpose and personality. I think this is what ultimately makes people get a bit lost on my interpretations considering they aren't super simple by just being about One Song, but by being about multiple that aren't originally related in the source material. just like how I connected dr amnesia to when he died, explaining a bit of her more mildly supernatural or off-putting elements by making the man in that song her father.

the final real design element that I focus on is the strange rule I follow in terms of how these characters are shaped. there's a massive sort of "alice in wonderland" theming going on in terms of how human/humanoid designs look in contrast to designs that look less and less human. their proportions become more cartoon and shaped, their sizes are affected etc etc all while the human/humanoid characters stay relatively normal next to each other with more believable design elements.

here's the horrid long strip of nearly 100 different character renders next to each other to get a general idea on what I'm talking about

the silhouettes of the human characters "pop" less because they're supposed to contrast to their nonhuman counterparts. which isn't something I normally do, but given the source idea of a sort of "wonderland", I think it works in this specific context.

in conclusion: I'm design autistic and like to use designing to try new things, which is why I fucked that lemon up. sorry about that chat

[gilverrwrites]

Sionis!Reader with Jason is a genre handcrafted by a fanfic deity, but Sionis!Reader who is classmates paired together on a project to unlikely friends to lovers with Tim Drake is untapped potential

Callin’ you captain, 'cause you've got one hell of a hook, boo!

But if I may add one thing: Sionis!Reader who actually has a moderately decent relationship with their pops, so they were raised with a chip on her shoulder, especially when it comes to the Wayne family. Thus; academic rivals to lovers/academic rivals to unlikely friends to lovers.

Excuse me while I do some yapping:

Tims always thought you were cute, if a bit annoying. Always trying, often succeeding to one-up him at any chance, to get a higher grade, to be a class rep or group leader, checking out books from the library before he gets a chance. But for you it's personal. It's ingrained deep in your bones to hate him and his swoopy hair, and his pretty eyes, and his cheeky laugh.

You hate the way he quietly contradicts your statements during lectures, hate his hushed tone as you whisper-argue over it until you get told off.

You even hate the way he rides to classes on that damn skateboard, and how his posture makes his dumb butt look cute.

So when you’re paired together on an important assignment it’s like your world is crumbling, how can you trust him? God, your dads gonna be pissed and sneaking him around is only gonna cause stress which will affect your ability to work.

Basically, you’re expecting the worst.

Which is why it’s so darn surprising when you actually enjoy his company. Confusing even, it goes against everything you believe but he’s actually, nice? Fun?

You stop arguing about who’s wrong during that one class, instead bitching about the professor you both dislike instead.

It takes a while to compromise, but eventually, you find a way to evenly split the workload. For the first few weeks, you take it upon yourself to secretly do his half of the work anyway, but that stops after he impresses you by consistently delivering week after week.

You’re a little harsh in your feedback but he only bites back when you go too far, and eventually, he coaxes an apology from you for being intentionally overly critical. When he doesn’t lord that over you, you start to relax around him.

Sneaking around turns out to be kind of exhilarating, actually. He’s like forbidden fruit. Well, if the forbidden fruit was studying and Eve had to eat the fruit in order to stay in the Garden of Eden. Certainly not any other interpretation of that story.

And he’s pretty flexible about meeting you in places your dad won’t find out about, so long as it’s before sundown. A few times he surprises you by throwing rocks at your window in the middle of the night like he’s John Cusack or some shit just to swap notes and tell you about his latest idea. You’d never tell him but once you got over your paranoia, you actually kind of enjoyed your late nights together.

There’s still witty banter too, you still act like you’re adversaries a lot of the time, but by the end of it, there’s no venom behind your snide remarks. It’s like your inside way of showing affection.

Although he does keep borrowing all your pens and never returning them which is infuriating, but endearingly so. Not that you’d ever tell him that.

When you get your joint grade back on the final submission,obviously you get full marks. You’re not sure what comes over you, but when you find out you pull him in for a tight hug, his hands linger on your hips a little to long, your eyes are drawn to his lips until he speaks;

“So… are we friends now?”

“No.” Embarrassed, you pull back, pushing on his shoulders despite your waists still being joined.

“Oh, well, good. That means it’s okay if I kiss you then.”

“What?! Why would that be okay!?”

“Cause you so clearly want me to kiss you, and doing so won’t ruin our nonexistent friendship.”

You're dad is not gonna like this, but really Tim’s not so bad. Your dad will have to understand. He can’t honestly be mad at Tim for the sins of his adoptive father, right?

[emberfrostlovesloki]

The Cat's Out of the Bag [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@flowersforfrancis) Center (@hotchs-big-hands) Right (@grapeperfume)

Prompt: Aaron accidentally lets slip that he and the reader are together when the reader takes him home from the office while he has a cold. The team has a range of emotions about the news and Aaron and the reader go back to the office to face the music together. 

Pairing: [established relationship] Aaron x BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns. 

Category: fluff/comfort 

Word Count: 9.7K

Content Warnings: Sickness [cold/fever], headache, mention of abuse and beatings [in the past (Hotch)], minor mention of intimacy. Relationship reveal. If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: Hi loves! If you are headed into Spring Break this week have fun and please be safe. If you don’t have a break this week, please don’t let the Sunday scaries get to you. Be kind to yourself today. This fic is based on my March CM Prompt List (linked) The prompt is, “A character manages to catch a cold in the middle of Spring.” I hope you like this little fluffy fic. It was really fun to write. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading. Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

_y/f/r/a_ = your favorite relaxing activity 

_y/c/h_ = your color hair 

Aaron liked to have control over most things. Even in things he couldn’t or perhaps shouldn’t control, he still tried to. This could include running on an injured ankle, or going out even though he knew it was too hot for his liking in an outfit that didn’t suit the heat. Half of this had to do with the fact that he could be stubborn, and the other half was a bit darker. The times that he went over these limits had often to do with his ability to endure. He knew a good deal about endurance from his work as a prosecutor, the leader of the BAU, and most impactful to him, from his childhood. His father had often reminded him that he wasn’t strong or a man with his fists, or a belt, or bottle, or anything Mr. Hotchner senior could get a hold on, and Aaron had endured it. He’d lived beyond it. Even with that being the case, and him trying to work through his questions about inadequacy, he still pushed himself too hard sometimes. It was a sort of naturally ingrained response unless he caught it early on. 

y/n had noticed this trait in him and had brought it up a few times when they were more stable in their relationship. It hadn’t exactly been an easy topic, as y/n wasn’t sure why Aaron, who cared about his health and ability to perform in the field would seem to hurt himself by doing something reckless by his standards. One afternoon, when he’d limped toward her, y/n tilted her head and said, “Hey, how was your run?” y/n had stayed behind to play with Jack on the swings and playground while Aaron got in his long Saturday run. He and y/n would normally go early, but they had both slept through their alarm due to a long case earlier that week, a swamp of paperwork when they got back and some mandatory training on Friday. All in all, it had been too long a week for anyone to like, and they needed the rest. Thus, the plans for the day had been postponed. 

Aaron wiped a hand over his face and then over his shirt. y/n looked at Jack who was now on the slide and then back to Hotch. y/n noticed how he was favoring one foot. She knew his gait better than anyone and it was easy to tell that something was up. Aaron could see it in y/n’s face -- the concern. He tried to brush it off by saying, “It was fine. My time was slower than normal, but I’d say that it was because I was so tired.” What Aaron had said was a lie. His ankle had started to hurt about halfway through his run, but he’d ignored it and pressed on anyway. By the time he’d gotten to the last mile, his right ankle was throbbing in pain. He’d fixed his expression to the best of his ability when he rounded the bend where he’d see y/n. He didn’t want her to be concerned.  His faking a normal expression and lying didn’t stop y/n from seeing that something was wrong. y/n was about to ask him to clarify because she didn’t have to tell him that he was lying to see that something was wrong. However, Jack came and hugged the back of her legs, looked up at his dad, and said, “Hi Daddy!” Aaron smiled and replied, “Hey Buddy. Did you have fun on the playground?” Jack nodded his head enthusiastically and said, “Mh hm, I made new friends.” This fact warmed Hotch’s heart. Jack could struggle sometimes in meeting new people. Aaron said, “That’s great, Jack. Now I hear that it’s going to get hot in a few minutes, so how about we head home?” Jack and y/n nodded, and y/n watched as Jack scrambled into his dad’s arms. Again she noticed the brief flash of pain on his face as they moved to the car. 

y/n waited until they got to Aaron’s apartment and Jack was tucked in for a nap that y/n moved to Hotch’s bedroom to ask him what was up. She didn’t hope this ended in an argument, but it seemed like this was something he was keeping from her and Aaron could be so closed off about his personal life sometimes. But if he was hurting, y/n wanted to know about it. She moved into Hotch’s bedroom where he was taking off his shirt and getting ready for a shower. y/n stood in front of him as he was sitting on the bed and leaning down to take off his socks as y/n said, “Aaron, what’s going on? You looked like you were hurting back there in the park. Also when you picked up Jack.” 

Aaron tried one last attempt to avoid this conversation as he said, “Well, my ankle is acting up a bit, but I’m sure it will be fine.” y/n blocked him from standing and took both of his large hands in hers. His fingers were calloused in the same places as hers from holding a gun or a pen in a grip that was probably too tight from stress. It was comforting to feel the thickness of his skin mirrored in her palm. y/n looked down at him and said, “Aaron please be honest with me?” Hotch looked down at their entwined hands and then back up at y/n. He didn’t like lying. So much of their relationship had been built on trust. They’d gotten together a few months after Haley had called their marriage quits. If Aaron was being honest, he’d loved y/n for a while before his union with Haley dissolved. But Hotch was a man who believed in his commitment to his wife and he’d never done or said anything to y/n, his newest agent, until long after he had his wife split. He loved Haley dearly and he’d never hurt her by cheating. And y/n loved Aaron and his commitment too, so they were willing to give up any hope with a man she had slowly come to admire more than just a boss, fellow agent, or friend. y/n fully holding herself back had been one of the reasons Hotch had liked her so much. He’d seen women fling themselves at him while he was fully with Haley. Before their relationship got rocky. Even when Haley was pregnant with Jack women had tried to woo him. But never y/n. Even when she knew that he and Haley were struggling she never made a move. She had distanced herself more from him. Had supported him and let things play out to their natural conclusion. 

As Aaron thought about the kinds of sacrifice y/n had made for him, he squeezed her hand and said, “My right ankle is hurting me pretty badly actually. It started in the middle of the run. I think it’s from when I had to dodge that bullet in the last case. I tweaked it a bit then, but it didn’t hurt much so I ignored it. But today on my run it really started acting up.” As soon as y/n heard this, she dropped to her knees next to the bed and gently pulled off his right sock. She didn’t care about how the sock or his feet smelled. If Aaron was in pain, y/n needed to make sure he was okay. By the look of his swollen and slightly bruised ankle, it didn’t look great. y/n gently caressed the spot on his foot and Aaron flinched instinctually even though y/n hadn’t hurt him. She looked up at his dark brown eyes and asked, “Sweetheart why did you keep running on this? It must have hurt you. You could have called me and I would have brought Jack and helped you?” y/n had never seen Aaron hurt or allow himself to be hurt like this. Sure, she’d seen him overwork himself, but this was different, this was physical more than mental.” Aaron bit the inside of his cheek before putting his arm under y/n’s arm and guiding her to sit beside him. 

Once she was seated next to him and looking at him with the same concern, he heaved a small sigh before saying, “I felt like I had to I guess. Sometimes I get that way.” y/n tried to understand why he’d feel that way and said, “Why, you’re hurting yourself. I wouldn’t see you as weak if you needed a break. You’re the strongest man I know. You don’t have to prove that to anyone.” Hotch closed his eyes and leaned his head into the crook of her shoulder smelling the slightly floral scent of her perfume. He didn’t want to be seen as he replied, “It’s not about proving it to anyone else, it’s about proving it to me. My… my father always said I was weak. He tried to break me and he never did, but sometimes I can’t push those thoughts out of my head. I know it’s juvenile to explain it like that, it was so long ago, but it still happens sometimes.” y/n turned to him, wrapped him in a tight hug, and stayed there for a minute to let the words sit around them. To give them the time they deserved. y/n pulled away and looked at Aaron saying, “It’s not dumb and it makes sense. Your father treated you horribly, so it makes sense that that would stick with you. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself. I want you to know that you are good enough. I’ll keep telling you that until you believe it.” Aaron nodded slightly and gave y/n a soft smile. He should have known that y/n would understand him. It wasn’t easy for him to have these conversations. To open up. He knew he was lucky to have y/n in his life who knew him so well and could tell that he needed some help sometimes in dealing with his thought process. 

y/n stood up and said, “Now, we can talk more about this later, but I want you to stay right there, No moving around and no shower. Just hang tight.” Aaron smiled and said, “Yes ma’am.” y/n chuckled at his tone but got up and moved first to the hallway where they kept a basin to clean Jack’s shoes in when they got muddy at school. y/n then got a glass of water and added ice before turning the tap to hot. Once the temperature was warm, but not scalding, she filled the basin. y/n then grabbed some Epsom salt from under the sink and added a fourth of a cup to the warm water; she stirred it with her hand until the salt began to dissolve. When y/n was happy with the mix, she carried the basin with two hands into the bedroom and carefully set it down on the carpet without spilling any of the liquid inside. She moved Aaron’s injured foot into the water and as soon as his ankle was submerged, he sighed with how good it felt. The sound made a rush of warmth rush through y/n, but she ignored it. Instead, she moved back to the kitchen and grabbed the cup of water and then some pain meds from the bathroom. She handed both items to Hotch and he took them with a smile and said, “Thank you sweetheart. How do you always know what I need?” y/n smiled and moved behind him on the bed gently messaging his neck and shoulders. He leaned back into her touch with another little groan and y/n felt that same rush again. At this point, she wondered if he was messing with her. For now, she just kept relaxing his stiff muscles and said, “I think I learned from the best because you take such good care of me. I think today I get to return the favor.” 

Aaron and y/n didn’t speak much more about what he had said, but they both knew it was going to be a conversation they would have again soon. Instead, y/n just made him relax and stay off his feet for the rest of the day. She took care of Jack and dropped him off at Haley’s while Aaron slept. Even though y/n and Hotch had been dating for a good while, and they were very committed, two things hadn’t yet changed in their relationship. The first was that y/n and Aaron still hadn’t moved in together yet. They both found comfort in having their own space for themselves. It was good that after a case they had a place to relax and unwind alone if they needed it. There was a comfort for them in space, though y/n mostly spent her time at Aaron’s

apartment. The second constant, which was harder to maintain, was that the team didn’t know they were seeing each other. There had been multiple times that members of the team had almost caught them, but shockingly it hadn’t happened yet. Aaron assumed that Dave knew and Hotch had spoken to y/n about it, and she said it was fine. If Rossi brought it up, then Aaron could tell him. There wasn’t a reason to directly lie to the team, they just hadn’t explicitly made it a point to tell them either. At the start, they had kept it a secret to protect themselves. It might not have been strictly against the rules of the FBI employee handbook, but at the same time, it was easier to just keep it to themselves. By the time that y/n and Aaron had become fully committed, they had just gotten used to having it be between themselves. It felt like something they could have outside of work, even though work did come into it often. Keeping it a secret worked for both of their personalities. For Aaron who was a rule follower, it just made sense, and for y/n, who was a bit shy about her personal life, it allowed her to not have to have ten thousand conversations that could be intimate with the team. However, that would all change a month or so later. 

It was early spring and the weather had changed to the warmer side instead of the cold Virginia often saw into late February or March. When Aaron woke at his normal 5:00 a.m. He felt a bit colder than normal as he got out from under the duvet. He assumed that it was because it was one of the rare nights when y/n was over at her apartment and not in bed with him. He also felt a bit foggy as he got up, brushed his teeth, and shaved. He didn’t think much of this either as he made his coffee and then headed to the office like he usually did when a case didn’t take the team away from Quantico. Aaron and y/n usually ended up getting to the office an hour early so they could have some time to themselves in the morning. They used to spend that time in the evenings after five, but as they continued to attempt it early in their relationship, it turned out that the team was much more likely to stay late in the office to finish up work than come in early. The only people who sometimes saw Aaron and y/n come in together or even enter Aaron’s office together were the janitors and now and then, Dave. They didn’t do anything inappropriate in the office, just work or talk on his couch. Hotch didn’t allow for hardly any outward signs of their relationship at work. However, he was looking forward to seeing y/n. It always seemed to set them up for a good day. 

When Aaron arrived at the office, he felt that same chill run through him and his head started to ache a bit. He felt hot under the collar and as he got up the stairs and to his office, he just now considered that he might be sick. He hadn’t been sick yet that year but it happened to him at least once annually. He hadn’t expected it to be in March. And because he hadn’t expected it, he chose to believe it must be something else like his allergies kicking in. He’d arrived early even for his standards, and he sat down and pulled out his briefcase and laptop. After he did this, he realized that he wasn’t feeling that good and he moved to his couch to just close his eyes for a minute to try and collect himself for the day ahead. Aaron was startled awake at the sound of tapping on his door. He sat up and the room spun in front of his eyes. The lamp by his desk particularly blurred his vision as he stumbled to the door. He felt hot all over and as he stood, a few beads of sweat moved down his back making him shiver. He hadn’t realized that he’d fallen asleep and was surprised to see y/n outside his door. He felt disoriented and said, “y/n? What are you doing here?” 

y/n looked at him concerned and said, “I’m here to hang out before work like we always do. Sorry I’m late, something came up at the apartment and I had to deal with it. Are you okay sweetheart?” y/n observed Aaron with a careful eye. He looked flushed and his eyes seemed slightly glazed over. He was also perspiring even though he must have had his office thermostat down to its lowest setting. Hotch nodded and said, “Yeah just a little tired I guess.” He stepped farther back and couldn’t believe he’d forgotten about the fact that y/n was coming early. y/n slipped past him into the dim office. She was only a few inches away from his body when she noticed just how warm he felt, even from a distance. Once Aaron had closed the door with a soft click, y/n turned to face Hotch and placed a hand on his forehead. She could feel him burning up and was sure he was running a fever. She led him back to his couch and he sat down with a little grunt as y/n took his hand and said, “Aaron, you’re so warm. You can’t be feeling good right  now.” Hotch tipped his head back and half closed his eyes and in his normal, stubborn fashion replied, “I’ll be fine y/n. It’s just allergies or something. If I drink some cool water and just sit for a minute I can make it through the day.” y/n frowned at him and his antics before saying, “Aaron, you run warm, but you don’t run that warm. Also, your shirt is sticking to your chest because you’re sweating from the heat, so unless you’re planning on staying cooped up in your office all day, everyone else is going to know how you feel too.” 

Hotch groaned as he realized that his body was giving away with how bad he was currently feeling. His headache was back and he was longing for y/n to put her cool hand on his head again. y/n could see the look of defeat on his face. Ever since they’d had the conversation about his ankle and subsequent discussion about Aaron’s need for care just like everyone else, he’d started asking her for more help when he needed it. Today was another reminder that he could still feel the need to perform, even when he was sick, but that it was okay that he treated himself well too. That he wasn’t letting anyone down by needing some rest. y/n moved over to his desk and started neatly packing his things back into his briefcase and bag. By the time y/n was working on gathering his belongings, he was back on the cool couch and his heavy eyes were closed again. y/n pulled his suit jacket and tie up from the floor, it was the last thing she needed of his. y/n was grateful that she had brought all of her things up to his office. That meant that they could go straight to the car. When y/n had all of their things by the door, she moved back to the couch, gently touched Aaron’s shoulder, and said, “Aaron, can you get up? I’m gonna drive you home.” Hotch grumbled something that sounded like, “Just five more minutes,” and y/n huffed at how this sickness was making him feel. With a firm voice, y/n said, “Not five more minutes. If we play that game we’ll be here all day and then you’ll try and do work again or something. Now stand up for me.” 

Hotch gave a slight groan but slid his feet to the floor and pushed his body off of the couch. y/n could see a sweat stain where his back had been and hustled him out the door before he could see it and made a fuss about germs or something else to keep him in the office. y/n was sure she looked funny with her bag and purse, plus Hotch’s suitcase along with her boss leaning into her slightly as she wrapped an arm around his back to take him down the short flight of stairs and toward the elevator. Again y/n was grateful that Aaron was slightly out of it as Rossi exited the elevator bank on his and Aaron’s floor. The older man looked over at y/n and mouthed, “What’s wrong with him?” y/n mouthed back, “He’s sick and throwing a fit. He wants to stay.” Dave nodded, rolled his eyes, and pulled out his phone, indicating that she should check it when she was free. y/n nodded and kept moving Aaron toward the exit. 

The pair just missed the entrance of Emily, Derek, and Spencer which was a stroke of luck. y/n helped Hotch into the passenger seat of her car and dropped all of their things in the back then y/n slid into the driver's side and started the engine. Aaron had perked up once he was outside and he looked over to y/n and said, “Listen, sweetheart, I can drive myself. Really, I’ll be okay if I just get an hour or two of sleep.” y/n threw him a warm smile while looking up from her phone and said, “Aaron. Somehow I feel like if I’m not there watching you, you’re going to be working or trying to be productive. Now, to avoid that and you being sick for longer, which I know you hate, I’m going to take you home and watch after you. You’re running quite the temp and I want to take care of you, remember.” Aaron turned to y/n and smiled at her. He remembered in a hazy kind of way how much y/n cared for him in times when he could be stubborn and try and push himself. He’d ended up being much kinder to himself in the last month thanks to y/n’s care. That didn’t mean he didn’t still fall into his old habits, like today, but he had y/n to look out for his best interests, even if he didn’t always want to admit that in the moment. y/n heard her phone ping and she pulled it out of her exterior purse pocket. It was a message from Rossi that simply stated, “Take care of him. I’ll let an admin know that Aaron’s out with a cold - Dave.” y/n chuckled at how old school Rossi could be by signing his texts with his name like his contact wasn’t in her phone already. He was being helpful,  however, by telling Patricia in admin about Hotch’s absence for the day. That ensured that she didn’t have to go into his computer and file a report for him explaining why he’d be out of the office today. From the way Hotch was lightly snoring in the seat next to her, y/n highly doubted he’d have the energy to request time off when he got home, and even if y/n had picked up on Aaron’s password for his state-sanctioned computer, it would be a high-level breach of protocol on her part to go anywhere near the device. y/n could only imagine the intel on the computer in Hotch’s briefcase behind her, and in some ways was happy not to have such a burden of knowledge on her shoulders. 

The pair made it to Hotch’s apartment in good time despite the morning rush into town. y/n grabbed all of their things first and moved them inside Aaron’s first-floor apartment. If he was in his full faculties she knew he’d throw her a stern look and go back for their work things first and give some comment about the safety of sensitive information if she tried to get him inside first. He would be correct of course, but it was always funny that Aaron’s mannerisms had started to rub off on her with time. y/n wasn’t complaining. It made her a better and safer agent. She was surprised that the team hadn’t picked up on it yet though. After y/n dropped their things off inside the door, then turned to go back to Aaron. Hotch had woken from his light sleep when y/n gently closed her door. He had gotten out of the car and was walking down the sidewalk. His muscles were slightly achy as they always did when he got sick. He lifted his arms above his head and y/n flushed as his shirt revealed a small stripe of his tummy. The trail of hair that led from his belly button down to his nether regions was on clear display. It looked pressed down from his shirt and the sweat on his body and the sight had y/n sigh. She wished more than anything to just have it be the weekend and be laying next to Aaron with her hand under his sleeping shirt trailing her fingers through that strip of hair from his belly button and lower. Aaron noticed y/n freeze and he lowered his arms. He still wasn’t feeling good at all but couldn’t help but say as he stepped next to her, “Now looks who looks like they’re warm?” Hotch watched as the blush only worsened on y/n’s face and she said, “Ha ha. Now let’s get you inside and in bed, Sir.” That comment had Aaron’s eye widen and he sighed, putting his warm hand on y/n’s back leading them to the door. 

Once inside, y/n took the lead and took Aaron’s hand in hers, a classic gesture that they had become accustomed to in either of their homes. At the beginning of the relationship, Aaron was so used to not touching in the office or on the plane that he would take his hand away out of instinct. But over time he got used to the feeling of their hands conjoined. After a long case or a hard or boring day in the office which was most of them. Aaron could hardly wait to feel the comfort and grounding presence of y/n’s hand in his. They would hold hands whenever possible at home, even if it was impractical. y/n took him into his room and Hotch sat on the cool bed. y/n moved her hand to his shirt and started to unbutton it for him as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of the loops of his pants. This was the kind of soft intimacy that Aaron loved with y/n. She stripped his shirt from his body which was sticking to his skin slightly. When this was done, Aaron stood and slipped out of his pants. Now that he was home and he was in his room, the bed called him and he pulled the covers aside and dipped down to the cool mattress letting out a sigh of relief. He closed his eyes just as y/n leaned down, picked up his clothes, and moved to the laundry hamper to put them there. She then moved into the bathroom and grabbed a few towels. Two she dampened with cool water and wrung out and the last she kept dry. y/n moved back to the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed. Aaron was shivering slightly and y/n assumed it was because of his sweat cooling him off. He usually kept it pretty cold in his apartment. y/n gently pulled the covers off of him and used the dry towel to wipe off his sweat. Hotch didn’t open his eyes as y/n did this. He was so comfortable around her. He used to feel like he needed to look a certain way and act a certain way even outside of the office like with holding hands, but now he could do or act anyway around her, and she could do the same. Aaron’s eyes fluttered open when y/n placed the cool towels on his forehead and chest. y/n smiled at his half-lidded gaze and brushed his hair back with her hands and he murmured, “Thanks sweetheart.” y/ns smiled and said, “Of course love, now just rest.” 

Once Aaron fell back to sleep, y/n got up and went back into the main room. She pulled out her laptop and sent in a request for a day off citing personal reasons as the cause. This wasn’t wholly a lie as taking care of Hotch was a personal reason to stay home for the day. y/n didn’t think about texting the team as she noticed some dishes in the sink and as she passed Jack’s room it seemed like it could use some picking up. y/n worked on the dishes first and then moved to the toys over the floor and bed of Jack’s bedroom. y/n knew that doing these small tasks would take a load off of Aaron’s shoulders later. These chores took about an hour and as y/n was walking out of Jack’s room, she got a call from Emily. y/n answered her phone and said, “Hey Em. How’s everything at the office?” Emily replied, “Well quiet for starters. You and Aaron are both out today. Apparently Hotch has a cold or something? Did you catch it too?” y/n thought quickly and pretended to not know that Aaron was sick and said, “Aaron is sick? Has that ever happened before? I swear he’s always in the office.” y/n heard Emily chuckle on the other end of the line and said, “Tell me about it. But anyway, what’s you’re excuse?” y/n through of a lie and said, “House problems. That drip in my ceiling from the workman redoing the unit upstairs turned into a river. I’ve been on the phone with maintenance and insurance for the last two hours.” There was a brief pause and Prentiss said, “Damn. Listen y/n, you’ve gotta get out of that place.” y/n laughed. She was happy to hear Emily and didn’t notice as Aaron moved out of his room. He’d taken Asperin which y/n had left on the table for him if he felt like he needed them. He was still very tired as he moved behind y/n with an empty glass and asked loudly enough for Em to hear Hotch ask, “Who’s on the phone, sweetheart?” 

There was a heavy pause on the other end of the line before Emily said, “y/n, are you with Aaron. Did… did he just call you…” y/n quickly said, “Hey, gotta go Em. I’ll talk to you later” before quickly hanging up the phone. y/n turned to look at Aaron and his face took on a sheepish look as he asked, “I take it that was a member of the team?” y/n silently nodded before bursting out into a laugh and saying, “Aaron, how have we kept this a secret for so long and you’re the one who goes and says something about it? On the phone nonetheless?” Hotch couldn’t help but chuckle too as he placed his head in the crook of y/n’s neck. He inhaled her scent and said, “Can you blame me? I’m sick after all.” y/n scoffed; she could still feel the heat radiating off of him, and if he wasn’t so warm to the touch, she might have thought that he was doing this all to get them alone and out of the office. But Aaron would never do that. He was a great partner but also a workhorse and a dedicated employee. Aaron simply did not miss work, which was why y/n had to pressure and make sure he got home and rested. He’d be itching to get back to the office by tomorrow but he’d be out for longer if he overdid it now.  y/n would have to think about his response about the team finding about them. She’d also need to think about her reaction, though y/n was sure most of that would depend on how the team responded. For now, y/n turned to Hotch and asked, “What are you doing up out of bed? You’re supposed to be resting.” Aaron stood back and replied, “Just getting some ice and another glass of water.” y/n smiled at him and said, “Okay, I’ll grab it for you. Now, you go lie down. I’ll be right there with some cold water.” Hotch nodded and walked back to his room. y/n moved toward the kitchen with a smile on her face. She wasn’t happy that Aaron was sick, just that he was so willing to let her help him. He was used to the notion that he needed to take care of everything himself, so letting her help him in these small ways was a big deal to y/n. 

While y/n and Aaron were talking after y/n had hung up on Emily abruptly, Emily was standing in the center of the bullpen near her desk with her mouth slightly ajar and eyes wide with shock. Prentiss wasn’t even sure how to process what she had just heard on the phone. Em didn’t stay that way for long as Morgan came back from grabbing a cup of coffee and noticed her stunned state. Derek moved forward and said jokingly, “Well this is a rare sight. What’s got you all tongue-tied?” Emily gained her composure and said, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you?” Now Morgan’s interest was piqued and he raised an eyebrow stating, “Alright, try me, girlfriend.” Emily rolled her eyes at his nickname and said, “Well you know how Hotch is out sick today?” Derek nodded and Em continued, “Well I was just on the phone with y/n who is also missing…” Derek’s eyes widened as his brain connected the dots and he froze also. All the strong agent could say was, “No way,” Em nodded and said, “Well unless I have Hotch’s voice very wrong he just said ‘who’s on the phone sweetheart,’ to y/n.” Emily watched as Morgan’s eyes danced around for a second before he shook his head. Derek finally said, “Are you sure? What did y/n say?” At this point, Prentiss was smiling with the idea that y/n was seeing Aaron, just for the scandal of it all. She responded, “Not much. She said something came up, and she’d call me later, and then she hung up. If that’s not her trying to hide something then I don’t know what is.” Morgan let out a whistle and said, “Do you think she’s at his place or is he at hers?” That had Emily roll her eyes and say, “Well I’m not going to speculate about that right now. What I am going to do is go tell JJ about this. She will freak out.” Morgan agreed and said, “Do you think Rossi knows.” Prentiss replied, “Well we might just be freaking out. It could be something else you know. I might be reading into this.” Derek leveled a glare at her and Emily laughed, “Alright, you’re right. Listen, we can ask them tomorrow. Now, let me get to JJ and Garcia.” Derek let Emily past him. 

Once Prentiss was gone, he crossed his arms over his chest. He considered that Aaron was dating y/n and took the concept a bit more seriously than Emily. He wanted to make sure everything was okay with that. Not only for Hotch and y/n but for the team. He knew from his time as a beat cop that interdepartmental relationships could get messy if and when things ended. The team had worked well in taking y/n into the fold and he didn’t want to see that ruined for a romance that was technically against the rules. Apart from the team dynamic, Derek was scared for Aaron who had been under some heat from the director. But his concern was more for y/n who was new. If she got caught up in something she could easily be transferred to a small department in West Texas somewhere where prostitution, cattle, and oil are the only things there. Morgan closed his eyes and took a breath and tried to put things in perspective. When he opened his eyes Rossi was looking down at him with a knowing look. The older profiler had heard Emily and JJ’s excited conversation in the next room over. Morgan just rolled his eyes. There was nothing for him to do now, so he went back to his desk and got back to work. 

The rest of the day passed uneventfully for the team and y/n and Aaron. At 3:30 y/n went and picked up Jack and they had dinner in the kitchen while Hotch stayed as far away from them as he could while still keeping up some conversation. Jack was excited about the school play of Peter Pan that was coming up and y/n encouraged him in all things. Aaron couldn’t help but smile as he watched y/n and his son talk animately about what the play would entail. y/n opted to spend the night at Aaron’s the evening just in case he needed anything or his fever got way worse. That would also ensure that she could drop Jack off at school before heading to the office. That evening after Jack was in bed y/n attempted to climb in with Aaron but he sat up and said, “y/n if I’m sick and you sleep with me, then I’m going to get you sick sweetheart, and I promise you don’t want to feel like this.” y/n gave him a small pouty face. Although he looked much better than this morning he was still flushed and warm and he did look tired. y/n didn’t want him to worry about her, so she kissed his forehead, got him another towel for him to place on his face, and moved to the couch in the living room. She pulled a pillow and blanket from the closest and settled in for the night. y/n quickly fell asleep not aware of what was coming tomorrow at the office. The fact that Emily had heard what she heard had slipped out of her head as she had spent the rest of the day taking care of Aaron and Jack along with filling out some forms at Hotch’s desk in his home office. 

The next morning came with soft daylight drifting into the living room where y/n was lying. She was woken by Aaron who ran his hand down her face and gently shook her shoulder. y/n smiled at him and noticed he was in his slacks and another white shirt. She stretched out her arms and legs and asked, “What time is it?” Hotch placed his hand on her shoulder and leaned down kissing her before saying, “6:25.” y/n hummed in response. She could feel that he was no longer warm. She could also smell his shaving cream which meant he’d gotten up early and got ready so she’d have time to use the shower and bathroom. y/n sat up and could also smell coffee. y/n leaned into Aaron and kissed him a bit more fervently, winding her hands into his short hair. When they pulled away he was flushed again and she ran a hand down his strong jaw as she moved to his bathroom. As y/n took a cool shower to wake herself up for the day, she considered just how kind Aaron was to her. The kindness she showed him he showered back on her in equal measure, if not more. Not on the field or in the office of course. There was never any favoritism, but outside of work they were there for each other and it felt so nice to have someone to fall back on on the hard days and someone to celebrate the good ones with. 

y/n realized that her plan to drop Jack off was infeasible as Hotch had left his car in the Quantico lot yesterday as she drove him home. That meant that they both dropped Jack off and went to work together. This was a fact that wasn’t missed by Spencer or JJ who arrived at the office at the same time as them. Aaron moved up to his office like normal to see all that he’d missed while he was gone yesterday. y/n had asked him if it was a good idea for him to go back to work if he was possibly still sick, but he really felt like what he had yesterday was a twenty-four-hour bug, so y/n didn’t try and stop him. He mostly likely had a say in the sick day policy and y/n knew that she’d come in feeling lousy before, so to not be a hypocrite, she didn’t say much, just that she’d be looking out for him in case he started looking bad again. While Aaron went up to his office, y/n moved to her desk and she could feel a strange atmosphere in the air. There was a kind of excitement that she hadn’t expected coming back to the bullpen. Emily and Spencer seemed to look at her differently as she waved at them and said, “Good morning! I missed y’all yesterday. Did I miss anything good?” Spencer chuckled and said, “Oh yeah, you did. I’m sure Em will tell you about it later.” y/n smiled, she loved drama, but she didn’t realize that she was at the center of this one. She moved to her desk and wrapped up the last file she had been working on at Aaron’s yesterday. When she was finished with that, she moved to the staff room to refresh her coffee. y/n heard Emily and JJ come in behind her laughing and y/n turned around and said, “Hey, JJ, Em. Spence said that I missed some drama yesterday. Who was it? Is it Janet and Brandon again?” y/n sounded so excited and the two other agents in the room looked at each other and burst out laughing. y/n tilted her head and said, “Wait. What’s so funny? What’s going on you two?” The slight exasperation in y/n’s voice had Emily laugh even more and then the brunette replied, “Well does, ‘who’s on the phone sweetheart’ sound familiar?” 

Once the words were out of Prentiss’s mouth y/n flushed deeply. y/n stammered a bit and that had JJ laugh and say, “I knew it! How long have you and Hotch been together?” Emily leaned against the counter and said, “Please, y/n. Spill the beans.” y/n had to let out a nervous chuckle and couldn’t believe that she had forgotten this was coming. y/n looked at her hands for a second and then back at her friends softly saying, “Almost a year now. We started considering ourselves official last April.” y/n’s statement had her two friends fall silent. Emily looked at y/n with surprise. Prentiss had expected it to be a few months, maybe four or five, but nearly a year was not what she’d assumed. JJ echoed the surprise and said, “That long? Where you planning on telling us?” y/n looked at their disappointed faces that had shifted from mirth to confusion and potentially hurt so quickly. y/n gave a small sigh and said honestly, “I never meant to keep it secret for so long. I don’t want to hide things from you guys.” Emily responded, “Well this was going on for a pretty long while y/n,” y/n nodded and replied, “I know. I know it has. When we started dating it was pretty soon after Haley. Aaron and I were good with it. But we didn’t want drama or blowback from everyone else. Not the team but the other departments. So we decided to just keep it between us for a while. And then I guess we just kind of fell into that pattern. It was nice. It was nice to have something just for us. I love you both. I love the whole team, but we know each other so well and so intimately. This gave us a place to just be us. But you and the whole team have supported me and Aaron so well. Always. And if you’re willing to support us in this too we’d be so happy. I can’t believe it took me so long to say something. I have so much to tell you both about us.” 

Once y/n used Hotch’s first name in that tone, with such care and softness, JJ and Emily softened immediately. They hadn’t seen her look or sound that way before. As y/n spoke her words resonated and Emily stepped forward and asked, “Does he make you happy? That’s what’s most important to me. Because I’m sure you make him happy. He’s a lucky guy that he could get you. But are you happy with him?” y/n’s face broke out into a smile and replied, “I’m happier with Aaron than I’ve ever been before. You have no idea how good he makes me feel.” Hearing this, Prentiss and JJ smiled and moved forward to give y/n a hug. JJ said, “Well then I’m happy for you. But you better be ready for a lot of questions from us and Penelope over a few bottles of wine, y/n.” y/n smiled and replied, “You got it!” 

While the ladies were chatting, Aaron got to his office and sat down. He, unlike y/n, was aware that he would have to explain things to the team. Or more like a certain member of the team who had shot him a disappointed look once he’d gotten into the office. When Aaron had his laptop out and had answered two of the most pressing emails the knock on the door shifted his attention. Hotch didn’t even say, come in, Derek just entered and stood at the door for a second before he closed it behind himself. Hotch looked up at his agent who stepped forward and placed his hands on his hips. Hotch pressed his lips together in a firm line as he extended the greeting, “Morgan.” Derek nodded and said, “Hotch.” Derek spent a moment testing out what he wanted to say, but finally just came out with, “What are you doing Hotch? What were all those trainings and mandatory workshops on professionalism about if you’re going to get into a relationship with not only the newest agent in the department but the youngest agent in the BAU? Explain the logic of that to me because it feels pretty hypocritical.” Hotch did his best to hold back the sigh he wanted to let out. This type of reaction was the exact reason why Aaron had been hesitant to let the team know in the first place. He understood that he was going against all of the things he had said and tried to demonstrate. 

However, Aaron truly hadn’t meant to fall in love with y/n like he had. He’d tried to stop the feels at every turn. Hell, when y/n had joined the team he hardly believed in the concept of love anymore with how it had ended with Haley. But slowly, over time, the way Aaron had left about y/n shifted. There was a love there unlike any he’d ever seen before. It wasn’t anything dramatic. Not a damsel in distress or that a lust had come over him. It was in the little things y/n did for him and the team. y/n not only looked out for people in small ways but understood that she needed to take care of herself too. She personified not trying to pour from a cup half empty. It was rare to see someone be so aware of what they needed and when they needed to step away. Aaron thought it was very attractive that y/n knew herself so well. At the end of the day when the team asked each other in the elevator what they were doing that night, y/n would always confidently say, “Oh you know, _y/f/r/a_. How about y’all?” When y/n quickly realized that Aaron didn’t even seem to have any coping strategies apart from staying late in the office, she slowly started inviting him to join her for things she liked that helped her unwind. She never pressured him into anything. She never analyzed his patterns or made comments, and slowly Hotch had started to agree and had relaxed a bit. That was when he first realized his feelings for y/n might be deeper than just a simple affection. 

Of course, explaining this all to Morgan didn’t feel appropriate or practical. It was he and y/n’s relationship and he didn’t feel like he had to justify it, although he could see where Derek was coming from. The best Aaron could answer Morgan’s question with was, “I didn’t intend it to be like this. And you see us in the office. We don’t flirt or act any differently than normal. And if what y/n and I have together started to affect how we act on the field then I would end it immediately. You can’t judge us on that. And it’s my private affair, Morgan.” The word came out hotter than Hotch intended, but he stood by them. Derek let out a huff and said, “Well it’s not your private affair anymore. You’re setting up rules that you get to break and we don’t? Well, y/n gets to break them too I guess. You might be our superior, but not in this Hotch. If those rules exist then they apply to you as well. And have you thought about y/n? Her role in all of this? You’re her boss whether you’re in a relationship or not.” Aaron flushed, suddenly angry that Morgan wouldn’t think that y/n was in the forefront of his mind at every moment. In every choice, he made going forward. Hotch was about to stand when the door opened again. 

While Aaron and Morgan were having their argument upstairs, back in the breakroom y/n had honestly asked what she’d missed, and JJ and Emily had filled her in. Much to y/n’s joy there had been gossip about Janet and Brandon and she listened with rapt attention. While they were laughing about the antics in the department, JJ’s phone pinged and she pulled it from her pocket. JJ’s face dropped immediately when she read the text and y/n and Emily shifted their demeanor as well. y/n asked, “What is it, JJ?” The liaison looked up from her phone and said, “New case. This one seems urgent. It’s directly from the DA. A senator's daughter is missing and he’s running for re-election this year. The DA thinks there might be some connection. I’d better run up and print these files. Em, could you get the rest of the team, and y/n can you tell Hotch?” The two agents nodded and the trio left the break room with determination in their stride. It was fun to talk and chat, but when work needed to get done, they all switched to a serious mood. 

Derek didn’t even need to turn around when someone else stepped into the office. From y/n’s distinct tread, he knew it was her. The exasperation that Morgan had been feeling seemed to slip away as he noticed the way Aaron looked at y/n. y/n stayed quiet. She could sense the tension in the air, and that it might be surrounding her. The silence lingered and Derek realized how Aaron looked at y/n. The look on Hotch’s face was one he hadn’t seen in a long time. He looked, happy. Not in a childish “I have a new toy kind of way,” but in a deeply contented and loving way. Morgan dropped his arms and stepped aside, that look on Aaron was enough for him to move aside. y/n stepped forward. She gave Derek a small smile and then looked at Hotch seriously as she said, “We have a case. An important one it seems. JJ is printing the files and we need you in the briefing room.” Aaron nodded and replied, “Okay. I’ll be there in a minute.” y/n nodded and Derek followed her out of the office, but not before giving Hotch a small nod. Not that he was fully onboard, but he could understand better now how much y/n meant to Aaron. Perhaps not only that, but how y/n had helped change Hotch for the better like she had helped the whole team with that. As the pair moved out of the office and toward the briefing room, Derek looked at y/n and asked, “So, how have you been?” y/n tucked a strand of her _y/c/h_ behind her ear and said, “I’m okay. It’s been an interesting day and it’s not even 11:00 yet.” Morgan chuckled and said, “Well, I think it will be okay. You’re a good person, y/n.” y/n smiled and replied, “Thanks, Morgan. You’re a good friend to me.” 

Upstairs, Aaron secured his computer and grabbed a legal pad and pen. He and Rossi moved down the hallway together. Dave, whose suspicion had very much been proven correct jokingly said, “So, do you get her home by midnight every night?” Hearing Dave’s joke, Hotch froze. He knew Rossi was just being silly. It was part of his charm. Hotch scoffed and replied, “Maybe, maybe not. What about it?” Rossi moved forward, placed a hand on Aaron’s shoulder with a pat, and replied, “Well just let me know if you need a chaperone for your next date.” Aaron could only roll his eyes and say, “You’re as bad as Morgan, just in the opposite way.” Dave removed his hand and said, “Don’t worry about Derek. He’ll come around. I think we’re all just happy for you. Even if we won’t say it yet. Now, let’s get in there.” When Aaron walked in the room he felt like he was in high school for a moment as all eyes turned to him. He stopped in the doorway and flushed for a second. Emily and Penelope threw him grins but when his eyes landed on y/n he came to himself. y/n was giving him that soft smile that said, “Everything’s going to be alright.” Hotch took a breath knowing that it would be. If not what had they been working toward over the past few months of building a life together? Hotch moved forward, cleared his throat, and said, “This doesn’t seem to be our normal case. So let’s over over the information we have so far together then we can look at the information more closely before having another debrief. 

The beginning look over the case information and lead so far was full of ideas and notes and the team did what it did best. After a few minutes, everything settled into its routine like always, and only when Hotch looked over at y/n did he feel himself flush a small bit, but it wasn’t unpleasant. The case so far, was. It dealt with children and a prominent political figure, so the pressure was on the team to solve this quickly. That on top of the mixed reception for the team to his and y/n’s relationship had Aaron feeling a bit antsy. When it came to looking at the files for a few minutes, Aaron moved to the table. It wasn’t a coincidence that the only open chair was next to y/n. Hotch sat down and pulled his chair into the table. He opened his file. y/n, as always, could tell that he was on edge. She took his hand under the table and gave it a soft squeeze. She kept her hand in his, and after a moment, Aaron took both of their hands and set them on the table. Now that the cat was out of the bag it just felt more comfortable that way. y/n took a second to smile at his actions and give his palm another squeeze as her eyes moved back to her file. The cat was out of the bag and Aaron didn’t mind or fear it now that it had happened. The BAU was like a family. They supported each other through life and changes including relationships. And with y/n beside him, he knew that they could make it through anything together.

Text Break Banner by @cafekitsune

Tag list: @geminitapestry @silk-spun

Want to be added to my tag list? Please check out this post (linked) 

Want to send in a request? Please check out this post, CM Request Post (linked)

[l0ve-dov3]

where the sun shines.

percy jackson x demeter! reader

summary: in which you take percy strawberry picking for the first time!

warnings: none!

word count: 606

authors note: hey hey hey! this is really short (the following parts should be longer) but i felt like i wasn’t seeing much of percy, so i wanted to fix that and write a little something for my percy girls out there. this series is betrayal free, so no need to worry about castellan. anyways, that’s all, enjoy the fic!!!!

“Why do we even have a strawberry field?”

“Because…Demeter, I guess?”

It was mid summer, and you’d forced Percy to join you in picking strawberries. It was his first summer staying at camp, and since you were his closest friend, you showed him all the things you loved about this time of year. Today, that thing was strawberry picking.

“I mean, camp has some of the best strawberries I’ve ever tasted.” You started calmly, imagining the flavor of your favorite fruit, “You’re gonna love ‘em, I promise.”

Percy nodded, half believing you as he reached down for another strawberry. He didn’t care so much about picking berries, finding it a rather simple activity at a camp for demigods, but he listened to each word you spoke as if it would be your last. “I’m trusting you on this one, pollen-head.”

In the time Percy had been at camp, you had become one of his closer friends, outside of Annabeth and Grover. You’d met in his first few days when he wandered off during the bonfire, which you often did to get some alone time, leading him to find you just by the edge of the forest.

“Hello?” Percy called, clutching Riptide as he approached a moving figure. He had thought that, in his wandering, he wouldn’t find anyone by the forest; but apparently he was wrong. When you turned to him, his fist unclenched, releasing Riptide back into his pocket when he met your tearful gaze.

“Sorry for scaring you.” You chuckled, wiping your tears as you returned your eyes to the dark, unmoving forest. “I’m not really used to people finding me here.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, I guess.” The boy returned awkwardly, sitting next to you in an uncertain manner.

Usually, if Percy ran into someone crying, he would have pretended not to notice and walked away. But for whatever reason, and he couldn’t tell you why, he sat next to you that night; thus beginning a year-long friendship.

“What’cha thinkin’ about, fish face?” Your voice resonated in his head, pulling him away from the wistful memory.

“The day we met, when I should’ve been at my first bonfire.” He chuckled, looking at you with that cheeky grin, “I actually think about it a lot.”

“Woah there partner, you may start thinking we’re really friends.” You teased, giving him a light push as you gathered your last berries. The boy chuckled half-heartedly, not knowing why the words made him feel so off. Somewhat confused, he followed behind you with his own basket, coming to a stop as you sat under a great oak tree. “But…I guess I think about it too.”

He journeyed toward you, carefully putting his basket next to yours before settling at your side. “Oh? And here I thought we were pretending to be friends.” Percy tried to joke, nudging you gently.

“Yeah,” You sighed, “But you know, you really are a good friend Percy. I’m glad you found me in the forest that day.”

Percy’s heart pounded harder in his chest, stunning him with a sense of alarm. You looked at him with that gentle smile, and he felt light as air, staring back at you like the world was anew. A new feeling, unfamiliar and odd, wracked his body like a thousand waves. “Yeah…Yeah, I’m glad too.” He breathed, just above a whisper.

You raised a brow at his change in nature, shaking your head with a light chuckle.

Percy Jackson, you thought.

What a weird kid.

[synergysilhouette]

"Batman: Caped Crusader" review

Binge-watched this show, and I wanted to be one of many people to share my thoughts on this--plus I was spurred on by getting a wish of mine granted from the show. Make sure to check out the show if you can!

The animation is beautiful--I know this is a weird comparison, but soemthing about the animation reminds me of 2010s Scooby Doo animated films, and I kind of adore that.

The voice acting was...fine--I can't tell if it was poor performances or poor direction; Hamish's Bruce Wayne sounds too raspy/rugged some of the time, like he's still playing Batman, and many of the other actors felt like they were just reading lines rather than performing lines, not enough emotion. IDK if they're more used to live-action work, but voice-acting is a different ballgame, since your voice is all you have to convey the character. A lot of performances fell flat for me, but it wasn't 100% unbearable, just underwhelming. I have some people I'd recommend instead (both familiar to the role and otherwise), but I don't wanna start anything.

LOVED Harley (but not her costume)--Jamie Chung had one of the better performances in the group, and I really LOVED the angle they did for Harley; I feel like the media often flanderizes her as the goofy crazy chick, so seeing her actually utilize her psychology skills (like I've been asking for!) is so satisfying. That said, the outfit has GOT TO GO. Gold and black is gorgeous, but it ples in comparison to her black and red look. And a weird nit-pick; when I first saw the stills, I was under the impression she was wearing a carnival-esque mask rather than face paint, and I find that idea a lot creepier. I wish we'd gotten more of Harley's antics--and even seeing her get close to Bruce in the way she did with Barbara and Renee--before revealing her as a big bad to the public. And I appreciate that she isn't 100% evil; she is doing what she believes is a noble cause, just doing it in an illegal and unethical way. I needed a backstory!

Not enough Batman--Maybe it's just me, but it definitely felt like there were some episodes where Bruce and Batman were supporting characters and more focus was on the GCPD. While I don't mind it too much, I enjoy superhero shows for the superheroes, not the heroes; this is why I had a love/hate relationship with "Gotham."

Batman (and Bruce) isn't quite likeable enough--In earlier incarnations, Batman was more kind and caring before becoming more emotionally closed off with time, but here he's that way from the get-go. Not to mention that Bruce Wayne puts on a facade around everyone, even people he trusts (he probably did that anyway; I can't remember), and his session with Harleen really frustrated me because I don't expect his walls to come down immediately, I don't expect them to be this high this early. I wanted him to be a bit warmer and transparent, rather than curt and cold like he's usually seen in the show. I feel like this is an issue often seen in comics, too; people prioritize Batman's "coolness" and thus push his feelings to the wayside.

Using underrated and familiar villains--I'm sure the real experts are gonna chew me out for this one, but as someone who got into comics in the 2010s and didn't catch up on the acclaimed 90s series, it was fun to see villains I loved and villains I didn't know; one of the best things a popular property can do is use underrated characters, since it helps the show feel original and fresh (thus why "Teen Titans" is so enjoyable; the whole franchise is underrated).

Too modern for the 1940s--I can't put my fingers on it exactly, but the vibes feel too modern; I assume the 1940s was for aesthetics, but since everything else feels updated (from the way people talk to Harley and Renee seemingly being open about their feelings for each other), I don't think it was a wise choice to have it both ways. I see no reason not to have it in modern-day, but I suppose you'd have to get more creative with technology.

Barbara and the Robins--First off, I should've gambled with someone that Jason would be a redhead; I'd have made SO MUCH money. Secondly, I'm not crazy about how all four kids are orphans; If I recall correctly, both Carrie and Stephanie's parents were alive when they joined the Batfamily. In any case, I'm confused on why Barbara is significantly older than them when they're all supposed to be within the same age bracket (I think; someone has told me otherwise since posting this, so I could be wrong). Not to mention, a part of me worries that because of the quartet's young ages and Barbara getting so much screentime as a lawyer, we won't get any of them as Robins or Batgirls unless something drastic happens, and/or we get a time jump.

Overall, I think my biggest gripes are the voice acting and how Batman/Bruce Wayne is written. That said, I enjoyed the show overall. IDK why HBO Max dropped it. Hopefully season 2 will introduce Poison Ivy, Catman, Tim Drake, Ghostmaker, and Gardener, since the finale already showed us a certain someone who IS coming to Gotham.

[celestiababie]

svt reaction to accidentally overstimulating you until you squirt

love ur stuff btw!

A/N: I'm going to assume that you meant this for svt since I pretty much only write for them at this point. If not, please send another specifying who it was for and I'll redo it. I didn't really edit this, so I'm sorry if it's shit. ANYWAYS, I hope you enjoy it!!! Feedback is appreciated!

Seungcheol: He'd instantly want to make you squirt again, but you'd make sure you had a breather before how tries again. Lowkey becomes obsessed with pushing you to your limits.

"Fuck Y/n, you're making such a mess for me, baby."

Jeonghan: Honestly, it would surprise him more than he'd care to admit. He was just focused on finger fucking you and didn't think he was doing anything extraordinary, but similar to Seungcheol...he'd want to see if you could do it again. Might become a menace in the process.

"You can do it again, right, angel? C'mon, give it to me." Ugh I can see the smirk on his face already.

Joshua: He'd honestly take a moment to process what just happened but would be so sweet if you got embarrassed because of what happened. He'd ask if it was too much and offer to change the sheets for you while you take a bath. But don't be fooled by his sweet response because he'd definitely bring it up again in innuendos and tease you for it in the future.

Jun: He isn't quite sure how it happened, but he seems like the kind of guy that would be into it already? But he just wouldn't mention it to you or try anything in particular to get you to squirt. But now that he knows it's possible...he'd ask to see if he can make you do it again.

Soonyoung: Gets really giddy over what just happened. So much so that he doesn't fully realize how spent you are and once he calms down a bit, he'd be rushing to give you the best aftercare in the entire world. Would be cuddling you and then all of a sudden ask you questions about it.

"Did you feel good?"

"It felt good, right?"

"We can do it again if you want."

Wonwoo: This man already researched and has the knowledge stored away in his brain somewhere. But, he would never intentionally try, he was just so lost in the look on your face and how much you were moaning that he wouldn't realize he was subconsciously doing those things he read about. If you were confused or embarrassed, he'd give you a brief (unnecessary) explanation as to why that happened. He'd be really into it and want to see if all the other methods he read about worked just as well.

Jihoon: Will write a song about wanting to drown in your love with the most innuendos you've ever seen. I'm kidding, mostly. No but in all seriousness, it would trigger a cockiness in him that would be so fucking attractive. Ugh whenever he felt like getting an ego boost from now on he'd just roll up his sleeves and finger fuck you until you're screaming his name and drenching his fingers.

Dokyeom: I see him as someone who's normally sweet and very intimate during bed so he would be so entranced in the feeling that he wouldn't realize he was overstimulating you until he felt an unfamiliar pressure around his cock that would force him to pull out and thus causing you to squirt. Man would be silent, wide eyed in SHOCK, but still so turned on and desperate to cum for you that he'd ask if you wanted to keep going.

Mingyu: He's very eager to please and often gets lost in the undeniably incredible feeling of making his favorite person feel good so I'm not surprised he overstimulates you fairly often. But when he makes you squirt for the first time, it would trigger the curious experimentalist in him. After you fall asleep (after much needed aftercare) he would be on his phone all night to look up more ways to make you squirt and tell you all about his findings in the morning with the most excited look on his face.

Minghao: I think he's very in tune with his body as well as his lover's body so I find it surprising if he accidentally overstimulated you...he's too aware for that...but he would caress your body after making you squirt, trying to calm your body and bring you back down to earth with him. He'd give you all the time you needed to stop shaking from the aftershocks of pleasure, whispering loving and soothing words throughout the entire time. I feel like he'd really be into observing what his partner looks like when they cum and after they cum.

Seungkwan: Tries to be nonchalant and act like what just happened didn't boost his ego massively but you could see him literally grinning to himself as he cleaned the sheets. Will definitely want to make you do it again another time but is slightly nervous he just got very lucky and won't be able to move his fingers the same way.

Vernon: "Oh wow." That's it. Kidding (not really) This man would be so frozen just staring at the mess while you tried to calm down. You'd finally noticed him staring and if you started apologizing it would immediately break him out of whatever spell he was under and he'd reassure you that he found it hot...like really hot. Kind of a new fetish for him.

Chan: Becomes an annoying menace who thinks he's a sex god, but it's okay because he's really hot when he's confident and feeling himself. Would tease you for it in the future and probably bring it up when you're being intimate.

"Wait, should we lay down a towel? You made such a mess last time, babe."

A fairly reasonable question, but the smirk he'd have on his face would reveal his true intentions.

[petermorwood]

@nimblermortal sent me this last week:

A second blade weapon became increasingly common in the later Viking Age. It does not have a formal name, being often referred to as a fighting-knife or battle-knife, and it was essentially a development of the one-handed, long seax knife of the Migration Period. A single-edged blade with a thick back that added weight to a short, stabbing blow, it seems to have been intended as a back-up weapon. By the tenth century, battle-knives had elaborate scabbards that were worn horizontally along the belt, allowing them to be drawn across the body from behind a shield if the sword was gone; a variant hung down at an angle from an elaborate harness. It seems they may also have been worn on the back - again for a swift, over-the-shoulder draw. Children of Ash and Elm by Neil Price @petermorwood (Mr Morwood! Mr Morwood!) I found an archaeologist claiming people were doing over-the-shoulder draws! Would you care to weigh in?

*****

Would I ever! That's a button well pushed. But things got odd when I tried, because as soon as I'd written even the smallest reply and saved to Draft, this happened:

Letting it stand would have seemed like I was trying to avoid comments, corrections or criticism, but despite poking around in Settings there was no way to turn things on. It was only by cut-and-pasting @nimblermortal's entire original as a Quote starting a new post that the problem was resolved.

Anyone else encountered this?

Anyway, on with the lecture response. :->

*****

As regards Back-Carry / Back-Draw of "battle-knives", I'm not convinced.

("Battle-knife" is a term I've never seen in connection with any Viking Age weapon. What's the Old Norse for it? German "Kriegsmesser" (war-knife) refers to something much bigger from 500 years later, also not back-carried or back-drawn - which from here on will be BD / BC.)

To get where he is now, a full professor, Neil Price will have defended his PhD, and should know such a statement as "It seems they may..." will need evidence to support it.

That phrase is easy to write, as is "According to legend..." and "It is said..." However these are IMO default History Channel phrases, with all the authenticity that implies. None of them actually PROVE what they're speculating.

"Experiments conducted by museum staff wearing authentic armour reveal that IT SEEMS medieval knights could use smartphones."

But does it prove medieval knights USED smartphones? See what I mean?

*****

I first asked if anyone had actual proof of BC / BD on Netsword almost 30 years ago, and to date there's been nothing. I've also posted about it quite a lot on Tumblr, so being poked with this particular stick is no surprise. :->

The quotation from "Children of Ash and Elm" is the first time I've heard of a trained archaeologist making a claim for BC / BD, and the odd part is that Prof. Price also states the weapon was intended for "...a short, stabbing blow" - which means wearing it horizontally in front makes far more sense. From that position it can be drawn far faster and with less telegraphed intent than "...on the back - again for a swift, over-the-shoulder draw."

Reaching up for any weapon carried across the back, whether long or short, is a bigger movement - and thus less "swift" - than snatching out the same weapon worn at the hip or across the front at waist level, especially if - as he suggests - that move is masked behind a shield (or for that matter a cloak, a door, or a half-turned torso...)

Try both moves in front of a mirror with a ruler or even a length of dowel, and you'll understand.

With a weapon-hilt visible behind one shoulder or just a cross-belt suggesting something slung out of sight, what's a Norse warrior going to think when his potential opponent reaches up there? At a moment of hot words and high tension, will he wait while an itchy back gets scratched or until an attack happens?

The explosive violence described in sagas suggests not.

If Prof. Price has solid proof for his BC / BD notion in the form of artefacts or art - and it'll need more than a one-off example - I'll be very pleased to finally see some "show me" evidence.

(It won't do anything for longswords of 500 years later, of course, though I bet the uncritical back-carry brigade would leap on it regardless.)

But without that evidence, I'm taking "it seems" with a wary pinch of salt.

*****

There's a weird internet fixation about BC / BD (which are NOT the same thing) and an equally weird need to show that back-draw "works", whether with hooks under the guard and a leather condom at the point...

... or by being open most of the way down one side.

Neither are real-world historical, so let's see how they work in fantasy.

IMO they're not appropriate there either, because the designers are so eager to provide working BC / BD that they ignore the main function of a scabbard, which is to carry the weapon in something which protects people from the weapon's edges, and the weapon from the elements.

Real scabbards for real swords went to some trouble over that. They protected people, including the wearer, with a completely enclosed wooden, leather and / or metal case, and protected the blades by having them fit into their case well enough that inclement weather stayed out.

This fitting could involve metal collars (Japanese habaki), or tight-gripping lanolin-rich fleece linings, or leather flaps, caps and rain-guards mounted on hilt or scabbard-throat. Real scabbards didn't have exposed metal and weren't open-sided rainfall buckets, because the priorities of actual sword users were very different to those of back-carry fans.

Given the number of posts I've seen about the technical side of fantasy world-building - history, geography, even geology and meteorology - I think this difference is worth noting.

*****

The first time I recall seeing back-carry mentioned in a historical-not-fantasy context was in "Growing Up in the Thirteenth Century", © Alfred Duggan 1962. Here's the extract in question:

Unfortunately Duggan - though according to his Wikipedia entry "His novels are known for meticulous historical research" - doesn't give any cited source for this; his introduction to the book says:

I know the feeling! :->

I'd still trust him more than some modern historical writers who seem over-willing to add a touch of fantasy speculation / interpretation if it rounds out something inconclusive, makes the history more interesting or chimes with a personal agenda.

"Accurate" is better than "interesting", and "I don't know" is better than making stuff up.

*****

To repeat: I've yet to see any museum-exhibit or manuscript-illumination examples of BC / BD ever done For Historically Real with Western European swords, especially the hand-and-a-half longswords on which modern back-draw fans seem fixated.

A seax, scramasax or just plan sax is shorter, but yet again, this is the first time I've read anything even remotely scholarly about them or their later Viking-age version (saxes were associated more with Saxons than Vikings, guess why?) being BC / BD.

By contrast, there are at least three art instances of saxes worn horizontally, on 10th century crosses at Middleton Church, Yorkshire:

The art is backed up by surviving examples with scabbard-fittings still in place, indicating how they were worn. Here's one example, from the Metropolitan Museum, New York which makes that very obvious.

The little decorative masks (originally part of the top of the scabbard, now corroded onto the blade) are clearly meant to be This Side Up, and also show that this scabbard was This Side Out for a right-handed draw, since there's no detail on the back.

There's a similar fancy-front / plain-back / right-hand-use leather sax scabbard at the Jorvik Centre in York.

There's only a single photograph of this bigger one - 54cm (21.5 in) overall - from the Cleveland Museum of Art, with no way to see if the L-shaped scabbard mount is decorated on just one or both sides. However it does indicate the weapon was meant for horizontal wear.

I've also flipped the website photo to show right-hand use, because "It seems..." (hah!) more probable. Here's why I did it:

For most of history being left-handed was unusual, a disapproved-of aberration and the origin of the word sinister.

Left-handers were useless in any formation from Ancient Greece through Ancient Rome to the Saxon and Viking period where the shields of a phalanx, testudo or shield-wall had to overlap for mutual support.

In the Middle Ages, both the specialised armour and the layout of jousting courses were almost 100% right-hand only.

Most surviving swords with asymmetrical hilts, such as swept-hilt rapiers, are made to for right hands not left.

Even nowadays many weapons - including the current British Army rifle (SA-80 / L85/A2) - are set for right-handers only.

*****

The longest saxes are called Langseax (surprise) though this may be a modern-ish term. Here's one from the British Museum, the so-called "Seax of Beagnoth"...

...which is 72 cm (28.5 in) total / 55cm (22 in) blade.

That's about the same as a Roman gladius (another sword never back-worn despite its convenient size) and is a good 25-30cm (10-12 in) shorter than the average "proper" sword of the same period, which means it could be drawn over-shoulder...

However the layout of its runic engraving shows it was almost certainly meant to be worn horizontally As Per Usual.

*****

And now we've come all the way back around to Prof. Price's claim that Vikings did BC / BD with their battle-knives.

Such a claim needs proof.

Please, show me some.

[taylor-titmouse]

Julia is sick of working late. She's sick of being disrespected, and most of all she's sick of her boss. Lance is a burned out, smooth-talking playboy, but he also happens to be the son of the CEO.  When Lance pushes her buttons once too often, Julia is tempted to put him in his place – but is it worth throwing away her career for a moment of satisfaction? Content: -F/M -dom -degradation -small penis humiliation -directed masturbation -power play 5k words,  EPUB and PDF format Only $3, Releases later tonight! you can go read the first two pages on the shop page!

i've mentioned a couple times now that my editor and the author of roger crenshaw: the dogs at duskfall @mortalityplays is now available for freelance work for people other than me, but i don't think i've made as big of a deal how he's ALSO going to start releasing his own smut shorts on the last friday of every month! he is SUCH a talented writer on top of being an excellent editor and it's my absolute delight to work with him on the cover for his first release. FINALLY i have a great answer when asked "is there anyone else writing smut like you?"

and since this was the first time in a while i went through a cover design process that wasn't just me making one for myself, i thought i would go into how it went!

The Prompt

R/L wanted something that didn't visually describe the characters, because he had deliberately avoided that himself in the text. these characters are archetypes, ideas of characters: a woman who works in an office and her playboy burnout boss. for an erotic fantasy scenario, not going into detail can be ideal, as it allows the reader to project their own fantasies onto the characters. but what does that mean for a cover, when showing off the characters is often the point?

The Thumbnails

it means silhouettes, babie! if you're a reader of romance you've probably seen this approach a few times. silhouettes allow you to give the impression of a character without actually specifying them. HOWEVER! that can only go so far. note the female silhouettes in the left and right thumbnails--one with a pony tail, one with her hair down. these two very minor design elements say completely different things about the character, and pin her design down into something specific. (there is a whole line of feminist thought about this, that there is no such thing as an "unmarked" woman, or rather a woman whose presentation does not say something about her, ie a woman not wearing makeup is not perceived as neutral the way a man not wearing makeup is).

so anyway including her in the cover in full doesn't work for the prompt, because how she wears her hair or how she dresses would say something about her that we don't want to say. thus: we chose the middle design!

a man in a shirt and tie are super archetypal, and """neutral""" enough to not say anything specific about lance, our male protagonist, other than he has a job and is of average size (which are of course not technically truly neutral, but for our purposes, are functional as symbols). and while a long, narrow, leg does still say something about julia, it is abstracted enough to simply represent the concept of "woman" without projecting an overall image of her in the reader's head. she has a leg, and she wears high heels. that's all you get!

The Sketch

now we can move on to the sketch stage! this is the point at which the palette and text are figured out. i tried a few fonts before landing on one that had the retro paperback all-caps feel that i liked, and i used what i believe to have been a risograph print texture from retrosupply.

we went with the text up top rather than at the bottom, because it lends weight to the shoe and balances out the blacks in the pants. it also allows the figure to take up more of the cover, which is ideal. honestly, not a whole lot to say about this bit that i didn't cover in thumbnails: which is the point of doing thumbnails in the first place!

The Finish

well you can just scroll up to see that one. the final colors ended up a little less saturated, a little cooler, to bring it home to the retro paperback look i was going for and tie the colors together. i'm very pleased with it and had a lot of fun. cover design is one of my favorite parts of putting out books, and it was especially fun working with someone else to bring their vision to life.

anyway, you should go buy this book! it's only three dollars and i want to make more covers for these! your purchases would prove that i am a very good investment as a cover artist >:)

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | one.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.1k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, insecurities/overthinking, yunho also has some slight insecurities, seonghwa and sneaky links, hyunjin (skz) and yeonjun (txt) are part of oc's friend/dance group

Seonghwa doesn't really like to text or call you unless it's convenient for him. There are days where you two can engage in a normal conversation, days where Seonghwa will call you to apologize for whatever he did wrong [he normally doesn't know, but he'll do it so you aren't angry anymore], days where Seonghwa will send something that 'made him think of you' and it puts a smile on your face.

So, you do the same.

Except, it's another one of those days or nights where your texts to him go unanswered. Call unanswered. It most likely means one thing and one thing only, but you don't really wanna go there as much as you know you should.

Now, you feel dumb. You feel like you shouldn't have sent him that stupid bunny video or sent him that gameplay clip. He probably read it and tossed it aside as if it were nothing. Or maybe, he just forgot to respond. Cause that happens, right? But if it happens often, should you even cut him that slack anymore?

As you step out of the car with Seungmin, you catch a glimpse of Seonghwa stepping out of his car with another senior— another girl. Her name is Eunji, you think. Or is it Hyeri? You're not sure, you don't have much connection to the seniors besides Seonghwa.

He doesn't even go that far with you on campus.

People know you two have a casual thing going on, but of course, he doesn't go around flaunting it. He doesn't say much about you, doesn't always acknowledge you. And people brush it off because it's Seonghwa.

It's how he is.

That must be how things go with him.

After all, you've agreed to be casual, to be a body— a number to him.

Silly, Y/N.

You should've just gone there; you should've just accepted the fact so this would hurt a little less.

"You have literature, right? In the library?" Seungmin knows what you're focused on, so he tries to divert your attention before you fall too deep in your thoughts. A little too late, but you appreciate Seungmin for always catching on.

"Yeah. Ugh, dread that class so much." You scroll through your phone again, hoping you just missed a text. Nothing.

"Sorry. It'll be over soon." He tries to reassure you. "I'll walk with you."'

"Statistics?" You look up at him and he nods. "Soobin's already there?"

"Hope so. Science building isn't too far from the library." Seungmin does a slight head nod. "Just not sure how he still manages to be late sometimes." You chuckle and shrug.

"Those labs can run late."

"Touché. It shouldn't take him more than 5 minutes to jog over though."

"Cut him some slack."

"Nah." Seungmin clicks his teeth. "That's how we lose the best seats in class. In the back." He sighs. "Anyway, meet you after class? Is Chaery just gonna meet us at the studio later since she doesn't have class?"

"Yeah, think so." You swing the door open to the library and drag yourself up the steps, dread and anxiety settling into the pits of your stomach. Not only did you despise this class, but now, you felt like your thoughts were everywhere. Hopefully, you'll be able to push them aside once your professor steps through the door. You can't afford to get another bad grade on an assignment.

Wishful thinking.

Because you're incredibly distracted, even as class starts— even as Dr. Nelson puts on the remaining few minutes of the movie you started last class. You can't help but think about the situation you've gotten yourself into with Seonghwa, and why you suddenly felt so.. out of place. It felt so unusual, so far out of reach. The only thing you can admit is that you're holding on because of how many months it's been. It may not mean much to him, but to you, time is always precious, always valuable. Sure, you might have been able to hold onto him much longer than his past flings. Sure, he calls you his baby. Sure, he knows how to do you right when you're alone. But, how much longer can you keep making excuses for him?

What exactly are you holding onto at this point? A pile of empty promises that sit on shaky foundation?

You are worth more than that.

Silly, Y/N.

You look up a few times to pay some attention to the movie, doodling on your notebook in between scenes. Luckily, the last 30 minutes of the movie goes by much quicker than you expect. One minute, you're attempting to draw the prettiest building on campus; the next, Dr. Nelson is shutting off the movie before directing his attention back to the class.

"Alright, please take this time to discuss your thoughts on the movie with the person next to you and get started on your review if you'd like. It'll be due next class and I expect to see some detailed reviews with references to at least 3 scenes." Yunho's eyes subtly drift towards you, down to your notebook, then back up to you. He can tell something's bothering you, and if he could take a wild guess, he'd probably assume it's from the other night. This feels difficultly awkward because you're the only person next to him and he has to engage in conversation with you even though it's obvious you're not really up to it.

"So.. what did you think about the movie?" The deep voice next to you pulls you out of your thoughts, causing you to slowly turn your head towards him. The voice belongs to none other than senior, Jeong Yunho, who awkwardly [yet patiently] waits for your answer. You had no idea Yunho had slipped into the seat next to you this entire time— clearly distracted by your mind, your worries. He sits with a curious expression, though it's soft and nothing hostile. Your eyes quickly observe him; he's in this black tee, black cargo joggers, Nike Georgetown dunks and a backwards black hat. You had always thought Jeong Yunho was attractive, but he was incredibly quiet and reserved. Not much of a social butterfly, you suppose. Just didn't like getting close to people and always had his head down in the books. Super smart and at the top of the class. Not a mean bone in his body even though he seemed like he could be mean, intimidating.

He just.. enjoyed his own company.

"I, uh—" You pause. "Thought it was pretty intense." What else can you say? You were only stuck with this literature class because you needed an elective to fill up credits. "What about you?"

"Same. I thought it was more saddening, though. You can definitely tell they tried to incorporate as much of the book in the movie as possible, especially with Elizabeth's emotions. I'd say they did a good job of portraying the repercussions of her actions—" He goes on but he stops when he realizes you're staring at him blankly. "Mm, sorry, yeah that's about it."

"No, no. That's a good observation. I just don't know how to word my thoughts correctly." He nods.

"Understandable." He tears his eyes away from you to begin doodling in his own notebook.

"Sorry, I'm not that great at this. I hope you don't think I tried to discredit your thoughts or make you feel like I wasn't listening." His eyes shoot back up to you as he lets out a small chuckle.

"It's alright. It's not the most interesting topic of literature anyway."

"That review for homework is gonna take me forever." He's back to paying attention to his doodles at this point, but you decide to continue speaking anyway. "Hey, if you're not busy, do you.. think you could take a look at my review before it's due?"

"Me?" He asks just to make sure you were talking to him.

"Yes." You respond softly with a nod. "I mean, again. If you're not busy. I could just really use the support since I haven't done that great with the last assignments. I can't seem to paint the picture Dr. Nelson wants and you seem to have a good perspective that could help me."

"Uh, sure." He shrugs.

"I can just send it to you whenever I finish."

"Sounds good."

"Thanks for your help, Yunho." You say and he pauses doodling. Yunho wasn't even sure you knew his name, so hearing it roll off your tongue caught him by surprise. He wasn't even sure you could put the name to a face since this is the first class he's ever had with you. Yeah, he's a senior and people are bound to know him by now, but that wasn't exactly his expectation either. He just wanted to focus on school and get out of here, build his life and make his mom proud. You— you're pretty well known across campus due to how well you get along with people. It might not be everybody, but Yunho has heard about how nice you are and how endearing you and your friends are.

He's also heard about the other things, but he'd rather not think about all the personal shit people like to pass around about your 'relationship' with Seonghwa. It's not his business and he's not one to meddle.

"You're welcome, Y/N." You give him a small smile and return to your own books.

After discussion ends, the class is dismissed and you're off to the dance studio with your friends before your last class of the day. You gather your things together shortly after Yunho does, walking out of the classroom just to be greeted by the image of Seonghwa laughing and talking with that same girl in his class. You pause in your tracks, making Yunho stop behind you since you were slightly blocking the way to the stairs. You swallow the lump in your throat, feeling your chest tighten with the anxiety bubbling in your stomach yet once again—

"Y/N!" Soobin waves as he and Seungmin walk out of their own classroom next door.

"Hey." You step aside, finally giving Yunho some room to move past you. "Oh, sorry."

"You're good." Yunho says before rushing down the steps. To be honest, he feels a bit bad knowing what he's heard about you two. He caught the way you froze just because Seonghwa was around another girl. He doesn't talk to him, but it doesn't take much for Yunho to know that he's the biggest asshole he has ever come across. He's cool with Seonghwa's bestfriend Mingi, and on occasion, he has brought up the things Seonghwa has done. He's not sure how Seonghwa could work through a whole list of girls, hurting them and dumping them off to the side when he's decided he's finished. Especially you— stringing you along for months, keeping you around like you're special to him when you're clearly not.

You know this, so why don't you leave?

Yunho doesn't understand and won't try to. He just knows you deserve better than Seonghwa. You must have tried so hard to be that girl who could change him. Sad how that worked out for you and the rest of the girls who thought the same.

"What's wrong?" Soobin looks at you, confused. You shake your head and start to lead the way towards the recreation center, head hung low.

"Nothing. Just tired." Soobin and Seungmin shrug as they follow.

"Well, how was class?" Seungmin chimes in.

"We just finished the movie and had a discussion. Definitely not looking forward to the review I have to do for homework. I'm so tired of Dr. Nelson chewing my head off for not being descriptive enough. What more does he want from me? I'm trying." You groan a bit.

"Why don't you just ask him for help, Y/N?"

"No, he's mean."

"Okay, then why don't you ask someone in class to review your stuff before sending it in?"

"I did. I asked Yunho."

"The senior, Jeong Yunho?" Soobin asks. "Random, but okay."

"I didn't even realize he sat next to me in class until he started talking to me during the discussion."

"He's pretty quiet. I'm surprised he even talked to you." Seungmin adds.

"Mm, he kinda had to.” You chuckle a bit. “But, he agreed to look over my review. He was really into the movie we watched. I felt bad. He was trying to explain his thought process and I probably looked so confused and uninterested."

"Ah, no biggie. I'm sure he didn't think of it that way. You'll be fine."

"Hope so." You pout a bit. As the three of you exit, Seonghwa is still lingering around with that girl, Mingi and San. They seem to be having a good time, laughing off to the side of the library entrance and talking loudly. When your eyes meet his, he doesn't do much to acknowledge you, nor do his friends.

Per usual.

Quite frankly, this is how you two are in public, on campus. Mingi and San would never say shit, even if they [somehow] didn't agree with Seonghwa's doings. Seonghwa likes to keep things distant, hidden, so he can make room for the next girls he's after— even if he strings you along.

They let him.

You let him.

It's funny [more dumb than anything] how quick he drains your mood. Soobin and Seungmin are no strangers to this whole thing. Being that they're your bestfriends and roommates, they know everything. They know the triggers. They know how long he's strung you along, they know how he treats you, they know that no matter how much they try to tell you to leave him alone— you won't. And that's what sucks the most. Because they don't ever wanna see you hurt, no. But who are they to tell you what to do and not to do? They can't force you, even if though it's clear this is no good for you.

He is no good for you.

"Y/N, come on. Don't worry about him." Soobin lets out a sigh.

"He's such an asshole, you know? Don't you get tired?" Seungmin chimes in after what he saw this morning, annoyed at how Seonghwa could treat you like an object so easily.

"Min, not now. She still has another class to get to later today."

"I'm just saying."

"No, he's right." You say softly before looking at Seungmin. "You're right. I just.. don't know. It's my own problem, I guess. But yeah, I do get tired."

"Leave him. He's full of shit." Seungmin says. "You know how I feel about it, he doesn't deserve you. That's all."

"Alright, well enough of that." Soobin says, worried that this will keep steer your focus away for the remainder of the day. And to be honest, it'll continue to. But, what can you do? You just haven't had enough courage to step away. It's the fucking hold Seonghwa has on you. It's like every time you think about ending it and walking away for good, he comes back around, whispering sweet nothings to keep you close;

Making you forget about every single thing you had ever thought about.

"The showcase is coming up. We need to finalize the last of our piece so that we can just clean for the remainder of the time until then." Soobin says as a reminder to pull you and Seungmin away from the awfully painful and awkward topic. You and your friends started your own dance group on campus, slowly gaining popularly and invites to perform at certain events on campus after you and your group took it upon yourselves to grab small opportunities to perform around town and at the nearby mall.

It's not a huge dance group, but it was still a good group. It consisted of all your good friends, with Soobin being the captain, making sure all logistics and the timeline of practices/events were followed thoroughly. There weren't any seniors involved, more of you and your junior friends, a handful of sophomores, a sprinkle of a few freshmen, handful of mutual friends outside of school. This is also how Seonghwa found out about you. He saw you and your friends perform last semester's spring showcase, introducing himself with the sweetest compliments.

You're so talented.

Beautiful.

I couldn't keep my eyes off of you.

If only you knew.

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"We fucking did it!" Hyunjin yells. "They're literally screaming so loud for us out there!" He says happily as the show closes out. And you were proud too, so proud that your group was getting that kind of attention tonight. You all worked hard to create a piece that was completely different from before— something more aggressive, more hardcore and intense. Something other than the usual, just to show everybody that you all were capable of doing things differently.

You continue to hug your group mates, taking pictures with each other backstage until you all make your way outside to greet family members and other friends. While looking for your mom and older sister amongst the crowded lobby, someone else came into your view with a soft smile and a sparkle in their big eyes.

Park Seonghwa.

Maybe he was lost and looking for someone else?

You had heard so much about the senior, heard so much about how every single girl tries to grab his attention knowing damn well he doesn't do relationships and messes around. Though, you look at his face and you can understand why— he was so, so fucking beautiful. So attractive, perfectly built and tall. Had plump pink lips and a gorgeous smile with those pearly whites. His soft, black hair framed his face, while he wore iron grey contacts that brought out the shape of his eyes. But even then, you knew better than to get caught up with his antics. You lasted this long without getting wrapped up into his bullshit; you were hoping to continue the streak.

"Hey, Y/N right?" He asks with his hands in his pockets.

"Uh, yeah."

"I'm—"

"Park Seonghwa. I know." You interrupt him and he smirks.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that you did amazing up there. You're so talented, I couldn't keep my eyes off of you."

"Thanks." You give him a soft, shy smile as he continues to stare at you, observing you from head to toe.

"Y/N! Found your mom and sis! Let's go eat!" Soobin calls from behind, gesturing for you to come. You smile at your sister while your mom sits contently in her wheelchair. You turn to Seonghwa, who is surprisingly still standing there.

"I uh, should probably get going. But, thank you again."

"Wait." He tries to stop you. "Do you think I can grab your number? Maybe we can hang out some time, let me tag along during your practice or something?" You nod silently, taking his phone to plug in your number before handing it back to him. He gives your phone a quick call before ending it and tucking the phone back into his pocket. "That's me. Text you later?"

"Sure."

"Have a good rest of your evening, beautiful." You blush as you slowly turn on your heel, biting onto your bottom lip while walking towards your family and Soobin.

"What was that about?" Your older sister and mom tease.

"Nothing, he just wanted to congratulate me, is all."

"Sure, I didn't know that included asking for phone numbers." She giggles. "He's a cutie."

"Yeah, he is." You walk behind your mom and sister, only for Soobin to grab your wrist gently and give you a look.

"Please don't. You know how he is."

"It's harmless, Soob. I promise."

♣︎ END

That afternoon, practice ends well, with Hyunjin and Yeonjun finishing up the choreography for the remainder of the piece that you would perform at the fall showcase. The rest of the weeks would focus on formation, cleaning and making sure everyone was on the same page before the showcase. It ends right before your 6PM class, leaving Soobin, Seungmin and Chaeryeong to linger around outside of the gym before parting ways with you. You slow your pace when your phone starts buzzing, signaling a few texts.

seonghwa: lol cute

seonghwa: sorry baby, just getting to these

seonghwa: come over?

You roll your eyes, though you'd end up seeing him anyway. This definitely had something to do with the way he saw you earlier after your class at the library. Such a silly fucking cycle, isn't it? But, this is your own doing.

you: have class till 8pm, remember?

seonghwa: right, sorry. i can come pick you up after, just wanna see you and spend time with you

you: okay, but please don't be late

seonghwa: ofc not, ill be there

"Hey, do you need me to wait? I know you tagged along with Soobin this morning." Chaery gently squeezes your arm and you shake your head. The boys are waiting ahead with their bags slung over their shoulders, sweat still glistening on their faces even in this unexpectedly cold afternoon.

"No, it's fine." You give her a look and she understands.

"You're seeing him, aren't you?" She asks lowly and you nod. "Okay, well he better fucking pick you up on time. Call me if he doesn't."

"I will. Don't worry." She gives you a reassuring smile.

"Love you, see you later?"

"Make sure they don't burn down the kitchen tonight since they offered to cook." She rolls her eyes.

"More like that'll end up being on me, watch." She gives you a look before your roommates are giving you one last goodbye.

The walk back to campus is rather lonely, with everyone you know already finished with classes for the day. You kick the rocks beneath your feet, tugging onto your jacket sleeves as you slowly take yourself to class. The wind is picking up already, making it known that the evening would be even colder.

You hope Seonghwa arrives at his usual pick up spot in time. Usually he does. Most occasions, he doesn't.

And the latter seems to be the case tonight. There haven't been any texts to indicate that he's on his way or that he's arrived, even as class ends. The wind is heavier now, the cold harsh enough to ache your bones. You didn't dress well for this after practice, nor did you properly know how to since the majority of the day consisted of perfectly warm weather.

This fucking sucks.

You slowly walk towards the spot after class, hoping it could by you some time— maybe [hopefully] Seonghwa would finally text you and tell you he was on his way. Yet, even as you get to the back of the recreation center, you still receive absolutely nothing. You sit at the bus stop behind the center and near the tennis courts, knowing Seonghwa usually comes to pick you up on this street since no one likes to park at the farthest back-end lot of the campus. The recreation center itself was already far away from the main campus buildings, so people didn't like taking that extra walk.

"Fuck, it's cold." You mutter to yourself as you dig your hands into your zip-up as much as possible, hoping to shield your hands from the cold. Your nose is starting to feel numb as you sniff away, checking both ends of the street for any sign of a car approaching.

chaery: he better have picked you up already or else i'm on my way, y/n

You sigh heavily at the text and respond.

you: yeah, i'm with him, it's fine.

chaeryeong: don't lie to me!

you: seriously. all good, babe. love you, see you later.

Meanwhile, as Yunho starts to cross the bridge to head into the back-end parking lot of the recreation center, he spots someone sitting at the nearby bus stop in the cold. He continues to tread slowly, head still fixated on your figure as he tries to get a better look at—

You.

Its you.

Yunho doesn't realize until he gets to his car, lazily tossing his bag into his trunk. He knows it's you, even from afar. He's seen you sit in that same seat before, waiting for that punkass to pick you up. Unbelievable. Although you haven't talked much to each other, Yunho feels like he should at least ask if you're okay. Especially with the way you sweetly apologized to him in class [though he didn't particularly take offense to anything]. Before he could decide, his feet are already taking him over to the bus stop.

It's freezing, why the fuck were you out here waiting for Seonghwa?

Was he late?

Just as he reaches halfway across the lot, he pauses. A car pulls up to the side and you immediately stand to toss your bag in the back seat and climb into the passenger's. When you swing the passenger door open, he catches a quick glimpse of Seonghwa in a hoodie, watching as you climb in. Yunho must look pretty dumb, but he's still at a relatively good distance for you to even notice.

That goddamn prick can't even take a moment to open your door even after being late.

It's what he could do, at the very fucking least.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine​ @soupbinlily​ @tyongff-ff​ @jiminiscricket​ @g1g1l​ @staytinyinmybpack​ @woomyteez @gfksz​ @bitchwhytho​ @savluvsmingi​ @thisisntmyrightera​ @hyukssunflower​ @miriamxsworld​ @tmtxtf​ @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead​ @carrietwrites​ @tournesol155​ @persphonesorchid​ [bold = couldn’t tag!]

[radioapplerevue]

Hello!!! I was wondering if u had any radioapple headcanons? :)

Hello! I am... very sorry it took this long for me to reply. I saw the ask at work and then closed it to answer later, but once it was closed and out of my view then in my brain's opinion, it promptly ceased to exist.

Anyway my headcanons are a bit malleable depending on the situation/how they got together/the environment they're in/etc. But I'll try and jot down a few.

Alastor picks Lucifer up a lot. I mean look at him, he's tiny. Sometimes Alastor will have conversations with people with Lucifer slung over his shoulders, hanging from the crook of his elbow, or in the occasional princess carry. Alastor enjoys this because he thinks it's embarrassing for Lucifer. Lucifer enjoys this because he gets to be carried (even if he acts like it's embarrassing so Alastor will keep doing it).

Their coming together was slow, and started by them just learning to be in the same room without going for the throat. Eventually it turned into them talking, and then their chairs getting closer, and then Lucifer showing interest in one of Alastor's hobbies -- probably music. Because they are both overenthusiastic weirdos about their personal interests, and while Alastor doesn't share some of Lucifer's (the ducks, the circus, all things fruity and sweet, etc), Lucifer shares quite a few of Alastor's (music, dancing, cooking, disliking television, well tailored clothes, etc).

One of their favorite things to do is just hole up in a room in their respective spots and read. Their tastes in fiction don't always align, but they learn enough about the other's tastes that they can recognize what they might like when they come across it. Lucifer starts bringing Alastor books as gifts, and eventually Alastor starts to reciprocate, but only by leaving books in places that Lucifer is likely to run across them. If Lucifer tries to thank him, he'll disavow all knowledge.

Lucifer enjoys listening to Alastor's radio show.

Alastor enjoys listening to Lucifer sing.

Lucifer, as an angel, existed long before sex and gender were even things. Thus, he doesn't have any particular attachment to either. He's been in one form for ten thousand years because it's the one that Lilith (and later Charlie) knew, but he's fine with shifting it around as he pleases. Regarding sex, Lucifer enjoys it, but doesn't need it. If his partner isn't into it, then neither is he. What he desires isn't sex, but intimacy. He wants to be wanted, in whatever form that takes.

It takes a while before Alastor trusts Lucifer enough to even begin to allow any sort of sexual activities, but he quickly relaxes once it's proven that Lucifer will not only not force anything onto him, but will not expect anything of him, either. Lucifer will be just as happy if the night ends in a cuddle, or even just lying side by side and talking if Alastor's not up for that.

When they do start having sex, though they will play around with different dynamics as it suits them, Alastor tends to prefer letting Lucifer take the lead. Since his interest in sex is most often not the sex and more about being close to Lucifer and enjoying being the source of his pleasure, he doesn't feel any particular inclination to be the one making decisions. Plus, this way Lucifer has to do all the work, and Alastor's the center of attention the entire time. Why would he pass up on that?

Alastor doesn't feel like he's lacking any control when Lucifer leads in bed. There's a heady sort of power that comes from the knowledge that no matter what they're doing, no matter how close Lucifer is to climax, all it takes is one word or one unhappy noise from Alastor and Lucifer will stop completely. And if Alastor says so, then that's it for the night. He's tested it, in the early days when he was still skeptical, and Lucifer never complains, never pushes. (There's safety in this as well as power, but Alastor tries to think about that less.)

Lucifer, for his part, understands how much trust Alastor is showing in him by allowing himself to be that vulnerable. This makes him feel touched, honored, possessive and honestly, very protective. (Angel Dust has learned the hard way by now not to ask for details about how Alastor is in bed -- and it wasn't from Alastor. Lucifer will protect Alastor's vulnerabilities with his life).

I'm thrilled that fandom has run with the "Alastor's shadow is affectionate with Lucifer" idea, because it's one of my favorites. I also believe that his shadow is an extension of his own feelings, particularly the ones he hides behind his buttoned up exterior -- so when things start to get friendlier with Lucifer, the shadow shows Alastor's growing interest before Alastor himself does. And when they do get farther along... well. Good luck reining that thing in. (SHADOW RIGHTS)

When Charlie first found out, she thought it was a prank on their part in order to get them out of bonding exercises.

That's some of them! Hope that'll do!

[spoilmesweetieforficssake]

Not So Single Mom (Part 2)

Okay, so it's been a while, but as someone who likes to write fics on an actual keyboard, having a finger out of action has been a bit of a pain in the ass (as well as in the digit itself).

We're still not healed, but I can just about bend it and if I press the keys lightly not wince too much at how painful it is to type.

But anyway, pity party aside, I've missed writing and I wanted to get at least one of the fics that I have open on desktop a little nearer to completion so...we have a little part 2 of the pregnant reader (the idea for which comes courtesy of a comment from @avabartlett96).

Part 1 here

“You okay, hun?” asks Melissa, her hand finding your shoulder when she finds you still in your classroom come recess. 

You shift in your chair, trying and failing to get comfortable, shrugging off her hand as you do so.  “Just…aches and pains,” you say with a wince.  At least it’s only a half lie. 

“Anything I can do?” she asks, head tilted to the side as she takes you in.

You manage a lopsided smile as you look up at her.  “You do more than enough for me.”

She steps close, cupping your face in her hands.  “Nonsense.  You think of anything, you let me know?  ‘Kay?”

You close your eyes as she presses a kiss to your forehead, fists clenching briefly as you take a deep breath to calm yourself.

*

“Girl!”

You turn at Ava’s call.  It’s nonspecific, but with your head pressed against the cold, concrete wall as you take deep breaths, fanning yourself with the pile of photocopying you had just collected, you figure you look odd enough that she might just have noticed you. 

“You got one hot woman at your beck and call,” is what she follows up with as she approaches.  “Let her help relieve some of that tension!”

“AVA!” you hiss back, immediately straightening up.  “I’m fine!”

“I know you are,” she smirks.  “So go get some!”

“But I’m-“

“Girl, I know what horny looks like and you…”

You scowl up at her, wishing you could deny it. 

*

“Help her relieve any of that tension yet?” asks Ava as she reaches for the sugar.

Melissa frowns at the question, eyebrows furrowing as she looks at the other woman.  “What?”

“Y/N,” says the Principle.

“She said it was just pregnancy aches,” replies the red head, continuing to stir her coffee. 

Ava smirks.  “Oh, she achin’ for something alright.”

*

Melissa doesn’t often dwell on many of the things that Ava says, but she dwells on this.  Spends a lot of her afternoon thinking about it.  If she’s honest, it’s a subject she’s been thinking about for a long time, but you’re both taking things at your pace.  She understands that your body is going through a lot of changes, that your feelings are mercurial at best and though she’s often wondered what it might feel like to do more than kiss you, she doesn’t want to push.  She may not exactly be known for her patience, but when it comes to you, she can always find some.

Walking to your classroom after the final bell, however, she finds Ava’s words still going round in her head.  “Hey,” she smiles from the doorway of your classroom, waiting for you to look up and return her smile before entering.  “You wanna come over tonight?” she asks.  You’d spent a few nights at home recently, and if she’s honest, she’s missed you.  “I could cook?  You could relax?”

She watches as you bite your lip, looking torn.

“Talk to me?” she asks, coming to perch on the edge of your desk. 

Your cheeks flush and you duck your head.

“Hormones?” asks Melissa, watching as you nod quickly.  “Ones that make you not want to cry?”

Again, you nod, your cheeks only becoming a deeper shade of red. 

“Ones that…”

“I’m horny all the damn time!” you hiss, missing the way Melissa’s eyes widen at your sudden admission.  “And it sucks because I don’t want the first time I have sex with you to be because I can’t control myself thanks to this little freeloader.”  Refusing to meet her eyes, you also finally admit what thus far you’ve been too scared to tell her, “And I also don’t want the first time I have sex with you to be when I’m like this…”  You gesture down at your ever-growing bump.

“By this, you mean beautiful?” offers the red head, her voice soft and warm.

You shake your head.  “I’m not beautiful.”

“You are beautiful,” repeats Melissa, shifting from her perch on your desk to squat down next to you, swivelling your chair so she can look up and meet your eyes.  She reaches up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear.  “You are beautiful to me,” she tells you.  “Right now, as you are.”

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve pictured you between my legs, your eyes looking up at me?  I won’t even be able to see you face with this speedbump in the way.”  You watch as her eyes widen, and gasp.  “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yeah,” she nods, her voice suddenly a little shaky.  “And don’t you dare try to take it back.”  She rests her hands on your knees, using them to help her stand.  She leans back against your desk, wheeling you on your chair to sit between her legs, reaching out until she can rest her hands comfortably on your bump.  “First, this little Tesoro is very dear to me so let’s not be calling her names.  Second, I’ll wait until you’re ready, but hun, if you’re suffering, let me help.”

You whimper and she leans down to kiss you.  The contact is electric for you and without thinking, you fist your hand in her shirt.

She pulls back, surprised at the ferocity.  “You need it bad, don’t you?”

In answer, you just pull her in and kiss her again.

“Would you be happier at your place or mine?” she asks, the words whispered against your lips as you take moment to catch your breath.

“Yours is closer,” you breathe, blushing at her raised eyebrow.  “Fuck!  Sorry!  It’s not meant to sound like I’m desperate and anything will do.”  You drop your head, finding it easier to speak when you weren’t looking at her kiss bruised lips and flushed face.  The way her chest rises and falls rapidly as she catches her breath only serving to distract you further.  “I’ve been trying to…you know, take the edge off on my own.  It’s only when I think of you that I even get close.”

You feel strong, capable hands cup your cheeks, forcing you to look up and meet her brilliant green eyes.  “How about you let me show you what the real live version can do?”

[spaceorphan18]

So apparently the glee writers loved to bring in aspects of the actor’s personality and give them to the characters, as well as their personal lives and interests. What do you think they brought to Kurt and Blaine from Chris and Darren? There is some obvious stuff, well to me it is from what I’ve seen of them in interviews etc.

They brought some negative stuff for some of the other actors, but I don’t think they did so for them??

You know, it's funny - we used to say that as the show went on - Kurt became more like Chris and Blaine became less like Darren.

Kurt is the more complicated answer. When the show started, Kurt was much more Ryan Murphy -- this weird, effeminate, overly dramatic kid. Kurt became more toned down as the show went on, because Chris was (is) not an overly effeminate, dramatic guy.

They tried to bring in Kurt writing (Chris really did not want this - but there are elements of it in his character anyway). There are also smaller things -- like Kurt's penchant for twirling things, that's a Chris-ism. There are more -- but I'm kind of blanking, I'd know it if I saw it. But they're peppered in. You can sometimes tell when Chris improv'd a Kurt line, because Chris as a sharp sense of humor and a certain cadence to it that is slightly off from the rest of the writing.

Also, I do believe Kurt's independence was definitely a push from Chris, as Chris values individual independence very much.

Unfortunately, there were some negative things that did filter through for Chris/Kurt, mostly in the last few seasons. They started commenting on his looks more (which Naya confirmed Chris felt uncomfortable with). They also make a lot of jokes about Kurt liking old people -- and part of that stems from Chris having older friends/enjoying older people, but I've always wondered if Walter stemmed (every so slightly - there are definitely other factors going on here) from the fact that Chris's partner Will is a good deal older than him. (I mean, not that much older, but Will is older than I am!)

Of course, The Hurt Locker episodes were commentary on itself, and part of that commentary was Chris (and possibly Darren)'s wanting to not be linked together. Also, I've always wondered about the line from Isabelle about 'Chris' and 'Darren' not wanting to sit together. And I always wondered if it was commentary on Chris not wanting to be public with Darren because of the tinhatters.

Darren/Blaine is a little bit harder to define in some ways. The character just was incredibly under developed in the first few seasons, and especially in Season 2, Darren brought a lot more of himself to the role? the voice change is the big one - Darren changed Blaine's voice, and once he settled on it, he never looked back.

I don't know how much they wrote Darren into Blaine, though. There were little nods here and there -- The glitter rock vampire stuff is all Darren, and probably improvised. Blaine put on pink sunglasses in season 2, which was a nod to Darren (at the time). But I don't know that they took too much of Darren's life and put it in the show.

I think, ultimately, that Darren had one of the better relationships with the creators/writers/etc of the show, and thus was not given the same treatment that those on the outs with them often got, unfortunately.

Jane Lynch once said - you could always tell who was in and who was out with Ryan Murphy based on how the character was treated. And I do think she was pretty accurate on that one.

[flamemittens]

For the bhaalspawn asks:

OK but how does Durge actually view relationships and romance?

From the 9th Edition DU asks here!

Gortash x F!Durge. 900 words.

A/N: So...this got a little out of hand. I'm not even sure if I've answered the question as I got lost in the sauce™, but have this silly thing anyway :)

The weather could have been better tonight.

Admittedly, the trellis that facilitates the climb up to Gortash’s chambers is more difficult to scale in the heavy rain, but she completes her ascent with relative ease, dropping onto the terrace.

There is no need to pick the locks on the doors—in a touch of perhaps foolish confidence he tends to leave them open these days—thus the only challenge is to enter quietly. She slips inside through half-drawn curtains, and pulls the doors shut behind her.

The light in here is low, but her eyes make the adjustment.

Then she sees him.

Enver is fast asleep on one of the large chaises by the fireplace, head back, feet planted on the floor, chest rising and falling. Free of his usual finery, he is simply dressed in a half-open black shirt and trousers. She pads softly over to him intending to wake him up, but…something stays her hand. She stands there frozen in place, a tightness in her chest, and imagines the lifeblood flowing through his veins. Considers him in his vulnerability. Considers them.

She has no point of reference, no guide for how all this is supposed to go. It was never meant to be like this. It’s been an evolution, a negotiation. Communication shifting from parchment to in-person, from neutral locations to between his sheets. Gifts viewed with suspicion at first, then reluctantly accepted. An unwelcome distraction—and indulgence—morphing into a welcome one. A meeting of minds, a push and pull. It is both delightful, and confusing.

She wonders if this is what it is like for everyone.

Truthfully, Enver Gortash is the only friend she has ever had. She smiles, thinking of what Sceleritas would say to that statement—the butler is devoted, and not fond of her Banite.

Her reverie is broken however as Enver chooses this moment to wake up; he gives a brief start, then relaxes, as he looks up at her with a level of softness she’s never seen before.

Something twists painfully in her chest as she realizes he is relieved the interloper is her when he should be afraid—it digs in alongside everything else she carries. She is struck once again by the thought that he has not been afraid of her for some time now. If he ever was. He’s not even surprised.

“Good evening, my dear Bhaalist” he says calmly, voice still raspy from sleep. He reaches out a hand and pulls her closer. “Why are you wet? You’re soaked through.”

“It’s raining outside. I was caught in a downpour.”

A resigned sigh signals his acceptance as he runs a hand across his face. “When it comes to you, it could be worse, I suppose.”

He stands up. “I shall call the servants and have a bath drawn for you.”

“There’s no need. Do not bother them.”

“Nonsense, I insist. For the sake of my new rugs, if nothing else. And I do so enjoy you smelling of my soaps.” He leaves the room, returning a moment later.

“Good. They are seeing to it now.”

“Enver?”

“Yes?”

“Why?”

He frowns and then turns to the fireplace, tossing another log into the flames. “Why what? My dear, as much as I enjoy puzzling you out, you’re going to have to give me more to go on.”

“Why do you care for me?” The question is neither simple nor complex, and it slides off her tongue like liquid before she can stop it. He has his back to her, but she catches how he briefly freezes, a sudden and subtle tension in his shoulders that he expertly dismisses before he continues. She has cornered him—not something that she achieves often with this man who is always several steps ahead—and bent their unspoken rules.

“So, you have decided to ask me all the difficult questions tonight, hmm?” He has opted, of course, for deflection.

“Oh, it’s a difficult question, is it? Should I be offended?”

“You know that’s not quite what I meant.”

“But that’s what you said.”

“Gods below. Well, it certainly isn’t because you infuriate me with disconcerting regularity.”

“No.” She grins slyly. “It’s in spite of that.”

He barks a laugh, then regards her for a moment before continuing.

“Now, while we wait, how about I show you what I’ve been working on today. And after we’re all done, perhaps you can give me the pleasure of your company until morning?”

“Lord Gortash, do you say that to all the guests you host in your personal chambers?”

He closes the distance between them, and gently grips her chin in his calloused fingers, tilting her head from side to side. She hopes to pass the inspection. Granted, there are times when she wants him to be the Chosen of Bane, but others where she prefers him to be Enver. Tonight, she finds she wishes for the latter.

“No” he murmurs after a spell, releasing her. “Only the ones who show up at near midnight drenched from head to toe, drip all over my upholstery, force me to call the servants to prepare a bath, and ask me questions.” He smiles down at her.

Enver it is.

She mirrors his expression. “That sounds awfully tiresome. You must suffer so.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Very well” she replies, leaning closer and patting his chest. “Tell me about your day, if you must.”

[plenilune]

what a weird year it's been! this time last year I remember being so high on not wanting to die for the first time in years that I was ecstatic to greet 2023 and find out what I could do in it -- I don't feel that way this year, buffetted about by circumstance and my stupid human body and brain, but I don't feel defeated. I feel like I made a good first pass at a piece of work and now I'm going to take a hack at another draft. I made some good ground. not all the ground I was hoping to make, but a lot I wasn't expecting. I feel good about my ability to keep building a life and a self I can be more and more joyful to occupy.

I tried a lot of new things and some of them didn't work but most of them did. I said yes to a lot of weird shit. I had so many experiences this year. I'm glad I spent a night dancing and smoking on the fire escape outside a masonic lodge and being absolutely drenched in rain. I'm glad Corey and I went on a gorgeous queer group ride with a bunch of other queer cyclists through the streets of our favourite parts of northern Kentucky and then bicycled back home together. I'm glad I had a not-quite-one-night stand and bused home as the sun rose golden and alive and lovely. I'm glad I re-learned the importance of dancing at clubs until I can barely move. I'm glad I saw Oldboy in the cinema and was so adrenalised that I jumped up and down on the sidewalk and screamed waiting for my bus home. I started painting back patches and sewing things onto my clothing and making jewellery and collaging and cropping all my tshirts and sweaters.

I started writing again .god, I started writing again.

and I broke my phone, my glasses, and my computer and struggled financially and took a nightmarish disaster trip to Philadelphia for my grandmother's funeral and I lost access to meds for reasons that were completely my own fault and thus sunk into a mire of depression and fatigue for several months that could have been completely avoided. I struggled to connect to people and struggled to feed myself and been a goddamn wreck. I didn't really accomplish most of the things I thought I was going to, that I started with eagerness and energy at the beginning of the year.

but hell. I built some shit. now I can keep building on top of it. I feel like a completely different person sometimes now, with different possibilities. I fucked up and lost and careened into walls of bad luck over and over this year but I feel better for and about it than I have in a long time. okay, that's new muscles. okay okay okay. new page, new draft, we can go again.

anyway. this year I want to push forward more deliberately on some of the stuff I found out I could do this year -- obviously I am continuing to work on my goddamn space heist book, but also specifically pursue block printing, drag/burlesque, bass, and making zines in 2024 instead of just experimenting with them. bicycle more, cook more, invest in people more, Not Go Off My Meds At Any Point, play more video games, watch more films. (I watched over sixty this year! after barely watching films for so long I didn't know what my own taste was any more, and feeling the shame and confusion of having once been a kid who wanted to go to film school but didn't know what movies they liked any more.)

anyway. here's to all of you who have kept me alive and interested in the world this year. my beloved partner is making arriabbiata and playing jazz in the next room. I have to work first thing tomorrow but tonight I'm going to finish the first season of Better Call Saul and poke at my novel and the day after tomorrow I'm going to have tea and listen to music and sew patches onto my jacket and best flannel. I'm going to keep finding new things to be alive for. I'm going to create a self I want to live inside. I'm excited to know what things are going to happen to me in 2024. I'm excited to learn about new ways to feel joy.

goodnight, 2023. you were a mess and I loved you more often than I didn't.