#and those are my silly headcanons thank you

[shadamyheadcanons]

I'm not sure if they ever gave an official explanation as to why Shadow joined GUN, but I've seen plenty of people say that it's strange he joined the organization that basically ruined his life, and yeah it is weird.

I have come up with a headcanon that explains it though. He joined them to make sure they never do something like they did on the ARK ever again. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer as they say. Not to mention the whole reason that all happened was because GUN wanted him as a weapon. I think he'd be concerned that they might go after his new friends if he doesn't give them the impression that he's under their command.

So he joined, hoping to gain their trust and keep an eye on their activities. Rouge is also in on it, and definitely has hacked into their database to view top secret documents. If they ever find out that GUN is planning another senseless massacre, then Team Dark plans to sabotage it from the inside out.

Not a ShadAmy headcanon specifically, but you could imagine that Shadow would be reluctant to share this information out of fear of being jeopardized. Perhaps it could be used for drama. Have fun writers~!

I really, really like this. It’s my new favorite explanation for something that’s always bothered me about this franchise. Thank you!

It doesn’t just make sense objectively, it matches Shadow’s experiences perfectly. I often say Shadow would cling to Amy because he knows how easy it is to lose someone, but I love the idea of him taking it in a darker direction, too, picking up on the possibility of another tragedy happening and preemptively taking steps to stop it. I think people see Shadow as rash because he’s so extreme in his actions, but that is careful for him. Those aren’t mutually exclusive:

[IDW issues 5 & 6]

Team Dark standing with him is always great, too.

Another thing I like is that it gives Shadow agency. Based on Commander Tower’s behavior at the end of ShTH and his actions in Shadow: Dark Beginnings, Sega seems to want us to believe the Commander is a nice guy who’s good buddies with Shadow:

“Shadow, do you read me? First, I...I want to...apologize, for the other day...actually, I just became a grandfather last week, and I was thinking of maybe having you over.”

Commander Tower, probably: “Sowwy I twied to shoot you, uwu. It’ll never happen again! 🥺”

And, uh...I don’t buy that, frankly...but it doesn’t seem to me that G.U.N.’s keeping him under their thumb, either. As interesting as that concept would have been, I don’t think it’s what Sega’s going for. It lines up better with canon if Shadow’s choosing to stick around for his own ulterior motives. I think having him actively decide to keep G.U.N. close for that reason strengthens his character.

Your headcanon is even stronger now in the wake of Takashi Iizuka’s pre-Shadow Generations interview (which happened after this ask was sent, btw), specifically the question at 3:20:

(Side note: I have so, so many issues with what he says here–no other motivation? None at all?! You’ve got to be kidding me! But that’s a rant for another day.)

This all but confirms that working with them is a choice for Shadow.

It also perfectly demonstrates something that really irks me about Sega: their lack of communication about basic aspects of the characters’ lives. Most fans speculated for what, almost two decades, about whether a main character is employed or not, and Sega just drops it in a random interview? Not even in a game? It’s such basic information, yet they didn’t tell us for 19 years. And gee, why would we get that impression?

[Archie Sonic Universe issue 1]

It’s like even the official writers at Archie thought he was a G.U.N. agent. Sega couldn’t be bothered to tell them, let alone us. We don’t even know where some of these characters live. It’s kind of silly once you think about it.

Yeah. “Silly.” Let’s call it that. 🤨

Thanks for the ask!

[echosbento]

My boyfriend and I were talking about how each of the batfam make a good allegory for different queer orientations so y'all getting the list <3

Bruce: closeted homosexuality, despite the skin tight leather I actually did wind out settling on the idea that Batman is the het masking and Bruce is the true queer self

Dick: out/open homosexuality

Cass: aromantic allosexuality or transgender

Jason: demisexuality

Tim: bisexuality

Steph: pansexuality

Damian: aromantic asexuality

Duke: heteroromantic asexuality

Note this does NOT equate to my actual headcanons for their orientations, that's in the tags, it's about the way I associate their stories with the way people see and/or experience different queer/lgbt+ orientations. Reblog with your own thoughts on how you think their stories could be allegories for diff queer identities if you want! If you're cooler than me you could put some reasonings, instead of just the horrifying realization that they might've been right when they said Batman was the hetero to Bruce's homo

[mo-mode]

We’ve all heard of mansplaining. Now get ready for: PJO book purist-splaining. It’s like mansplaining, but every time you even think about liking a change made in the show, they jump down your throat with “ACTUALLY in the books…” because the show is “doing it all wrong” and the change is “so out of character” and “doesn’t even make sense :/”

[shannonsketches]

I grabbed a bunch of caps for that last post so here's a few more in my favorite genre of bejíta

[marclef]

Soooo... FakePep is obviously kicking around, but what about the other clones? The other FakePeps like him, with darker clothes & less stability? The mass-produced Peppino Clones from WAR, made with a majority Frog DNA compared to FakePep? Maybe there's even others??????

sooo.... in my canon/Pizza Tower AU i suppose, there's technically 3 types of Peppino clones, i'll try to explain them a bit here.

well for starters, there's obviously Fake Peppino, we all know this boy. i headcanon that he's the first Peppino clone that was made, and is by far the strongest out of them. he's also fairly smart, just.... a lot different than the average person. he sees the world a lot differently than others do.

the Fake Peppino "Clones" from his boss fight, in actuality, aren't technically true clones per say, they're more of a defense mechanism from the true Fake Peppino. if he's under attack or feels severely threatened by something, (for example, a defensive Peppino), he's able to split these weaker clones off of himself to either attack or defend against the assailant. they're a lot less stable than he is, though, and only live for a few short moments before dying off into (mostly) inert goop. that's why they aren't TRUE clones, necessarily, but I'll count them anyways.

it takes a lot of energy for Fake Peppino to create these "clones", though, so he rarely ever does it. unless he feels in great danger, or worse, is agitated enough by something...

and of course, there's the numerous Peppino Clones from War, made to be mass-produced and a lot less human than even Fake is. they're based off of Fake Peppino's DNA, but a lot smaller than he is, more frog-like, and can reproduce rapidly. unlike Fake Peppino, their intelligence is only about as much as a standard frog's, meaning.... they're not exactly that bright. they see anything smaller than them as potential prey, but are generally aggressive towards each other as well, along with the true Peppino.

but, as for where they are now, before the Pizza Tower was destroyed, a good few of them managed to escape out into the wild, where they multiplied quickly. they eat nearly anything, and split into new clones once they've fed enough. however, they're not the strongest, and due to their small size, they're preyed upon by larger predators, meaning that despite everything, their population is stable.

they just need to be wary of going near Peppino's Pizza.... Fake Peppino doesn't take their presence well.

[sunsetzer]

On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

[aplaceinhell]

hey guys so I have a hazbin theory (it might be a little silly but I've been kind of sick the past few days so just humour me)

so we all know how those little dots under angeldusts eyes are actually eyes, right?

we'll hear me out but what if

What if those black spots on fat nuggets back were also actually eyes?

there is no reason this might be the case, but they're kind of eye shaped and also I think it would be really cool

[dootznbootz]

opinions on helen of sparta being compared to prey animals? blink blink

*blink blinks back* Then immediately sits like this because of the question.

It's a good question that I'm happy to answer! It just makes me mad.... I sincerely hate the wording of "prey" being used to describe her.

SHE IS A VICTIM! THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS "PREY"!

I can...see how people in ancient times may have used that word and still meant it in how she is a victim... but modern-day English-speaking people calling her that??? (considering how in different languages the word "prey" could have different meanings.) I'll just say that as someone who has been "prey" herself at one point, I REALLY hate that word as a descriptor. Just say victim or survivor. 👍

Honestly to call ANY victim "prey" is so fucked up. "Prey" to me, feels like "it's meant to happen." "Prey" are part of the food chain and so that's what happens. And to compare that to abduction and SA? Almost as if "that's our place"? It also kind of implies something being "eaten" or killed... Helen SURVIVES. She's traumatized and definitely needs healing and support but it's not like she can't find joy or peace ever again. Prey just feels so fucking gross.

Also, if someone calls victims "prey", I hope they know that Moose, Elk, Boars, Bovine, ZEBRAS, etc. are technically "prey". And these are VERY aggressive animals while still being "prey" for some other animals. And also that doesn't mean that "Oh, they're powerful! Clearly they should've been able to stop it." That's victim blaming :P

She is a clever, determined, caring woman who was ripped from her home for YEARS because Paris was a dipshit who decided he needed the prettiest woman in the world despite already having a wife. He didn't care about the fact that Helen didn't want to be there and was already married. He is so selfish that he will not let her go back even when THOUSANDS have died in the war! EVEN HIS BROTHER HECTOR AND PRIAM DO NOT BLAME HER! Granted, we do not know if Aphrodite would have let him undo their deal of "I want the prettiest woman" if he DID end up feeling bad for Helen and he wished to let her go home (I doubt it based on his personality though).

"Oh, if she is so independent/strong, then why didn't she just kill Paris and leave?"

AGAIN! Victim blaming!!! First thing, people who ask that have media literacy that is piss on the poor. You also have no idea about the political implications that would have happened if she DID kill Paris. She literally cries about staying there and argues with Aphrodite about seeing Paris, only to get strongarmed by Aphrodite as, guess what? A GODDESS WILL ALWAYS OVERPOWER A DEMIGOD. (This isn't Percy Jackson where he "killed" Ares as a 12 year old (Percy, you were my childhood, but that's bullshit.))

Even confined in Troy, she ARGUED with APHRODITE about going to see Paris! She is not some meek woman who just does as she's told with no pushback! She argued with a GODDESSS! Very few survive doing that!!!

She's not "Prey to fate", she's a "VICTIM of Fate".

[fortune-maiden]

Pleeease can I have more of the TGCF Cyrano (but not really Cyrano) AU? 🥺🙏

ANON I LOVE YOU! THIS ASK LITERALLY MADE MY ENTIRE DAY!

And also got some words flowing!

pei ming briefly turned into wombat in the beginning there whoops

-

There were few things in Heaven that could escape Pei Ming’s notice.

No, that was a lie.

There were, in fact, a great many number of things that regularly escaped Pei Ming’s notice. They simply weren’t important things in his opinion. Pei Ming knew the value of information and kept an ear to the ground and the communication array at all times, but he wasn’t interested in petty gossip and the daily lives of heavenly officials.

(Unless those heavenly officials happened to be women, in which case he was very interested, so that he could be at the right place at the right time when they inevitably sought him out.)

Pei Ming was the god of love, so it was only natural that there would be one topic above all others that would warrant his attention.

That’s right – He was here to love and be loved! Embrace love and spread love!

Pei Ming was here to romance women and play matchmaker.

And he was very-temporarily out of women.

“You’re wrong,” Shi Wudu said with a sigh.

“I’m never wrong. Not about this.” Pei Ming’s grin took up most of his face. His arm sat comfortably on Shi Wudu’s shoulder. It wasn’t supposed to be there, but no amount of smacking it with a fan could see it removed.

“I know all about the inquiries you’ve been making into that caged little bird of yours. What can I say except you’re a man with exceptional taste. And quite the reckless streak.”

“Even if I have, that’s my business, not yours.”

“Nonsense. A blossoming crush is very much my business.”

“Again, it’s not a crush. I simply think she’s interesting.”

“Coming from you, that may as well be a proposal.”

Shi Wudu shoved him. The arm around his shoulders remained firmly in place. Pei Ming laughed an uproarious laugh. He always loved the look on people’s faces when they were made aware of their feelings. Particularly when the people in question were his sullen young friend who had been cursed with a handsome face and a rotten personality.

He had been shocked when he first heard of it, of course. But spring came for everyone in the end, and the greater surprise was that Shi Wudu just had to pick the hardest woman in Heaven to get close to as the object of his affections.

Although, really, Pei Ming shouldn’t have expected anything less. Fortunately, he loved a challenge.

“You’ve already made several critical blunders, my friend,” he remarked, turning serious. “It’s never good to start a relationship off with public humiliation.”

“I was not the one humiliating her.”

“But you were the instigator. Thanks to that she knows who you are, but what kind of impression do you think you’ve left her with? If you approached her now, she would head straight in the opposite direction.”

“You sound awfully sure of that.”

“I heard it from the old girl’s mouth herself!” Pei Ming cleared his throat and made his best exhausted gloomy expression. “If my path were to cross Lord Water Master’s now, I think I would turn around and head straight in the opposite direction.”

“She does not sound like that,” Shi Wudu snapped and rapped Pei Ming’s hand with his fan a few times again.

“How would you know? You’ve never talked to her.”

“And you have?”

“Of course! We’re friends from the same hometown!” Well same general region, anyway. Pei Ming’s most famous exploits either had him fighting wars abroad or stationed in Xuli’s royal capital so it was a little known fact he himself was actually from the southern parts of the kingdom and spent most of his non-warring years there. And it was an even littler known fact that the very Nangong Jie made infamous by her writings in the royal capital was also originally from those same southern parts, a fact Pei Ming expertly deduced within an hour of meeting her by virtue of her light regional accent.

(And as for how their paths came to cross in the first place back then, well, she was a woman and he was at the right place at the right time.)

“You’ve made an enemy of her jailer, and she isn’t particularly fond of you right now either. It must be hard being so unpopular.” Pei Ming’s other hand now patted Shi Wudu’s chest consolingly and Shi Wudu grew resigned to the fact that this was what a friendship with Pei Ming entailed.

“If she’s truly so petty, then perhaps I’ve underestimated her.”

“It’s not about pettiness, it’s about an innocent woman becoming the collateral damage of your reckless words and you acting like it doesn’t concern you.” The consoling pats turned into light smacks. “Fortunately, your blunder is also your opportunity. As long as you say and do everything I tell you, we can salvage your reputation with Nangong and get her to see your hidden merits.”

“This is ridiculous.” Shi Wudu shoved Pei Ming once more and this time Pei Ming let go so he would have enough room to cross his arms and scowl. It was important to give him enough space for that so that his mind had the freedom it needed to weigh the pros and cons of Pei Ming’s offer. Shi Wudu was a businessman, after all.

Sure enough, the next words out of his mouth were, “What’s in it for you?”

He eyed Pei Ming like a suspicious cat, ready to flee at the first sign of trouble. Pei Ming laughed once more.

“You’re my friend! What better reason is there for me to help you!” he clapped Shi Wudu’s shoulder good-naturedly, earning another smack for his trouble. “But if you really need one, then it’s that I think you and Nangong really would fit well together. And she could use someone like you in her corner.”

And most importantly, Pei Ming’s smile was so radiant that it shone with a heavenly aura of its own, it will be fun!   

[fuck-john-calvin]

Yk the stereotypical circus song no one actually knows the name of? That one??? The chorus is the default stuck in my head song and has been for as long as I can remember and I can't tell if I like that bc circus and jester and silly little guy coded but also. ALSO. it's so goddamn annoying after the seventieth run-through of the day I am about to ram my head into a wall-

[iicarused]

##let us adore you

jeff the killer x reader / eyeless jack x reader / ticci toby x reader / UNEDITED

synopsis: general headcanons in which how you met them

beware: DARK THEMES / yandere traits, stalking, implied manipulation, mentions of murder &&* gore //: if there is any that i missed, please let me know !

envelope from the author: masky, hoodie, and kate chaser will be pt 2 of this:)

JEFF THE KILLER

he met you at a convenience store, how funny. this man planned on killing the cashier, take the cash and leave a meal for his cannibal friend out back, then hop to the next town over. yet, you walked through the aisles of the store at the dark of the night. do you know what kind of creeps are out here at this hour?

he waited for you to leave before he got the job done. you should feel relieved, you should feel like the most luckiest person in the world and it’s because he spared you.

��no, i’m staying back.” he would tell his eyeless friend. “it’s my business to know and for you to fuck off,” he’d argue. “i have a… dilemma.” jeff confessed. for someone he only caught a glimpse of, for a voice he only heard a faint whisper from, he didn’t know whether to stay just for you or to leave while he can.

you were a plague in his mind, because he searched for you. it took three days at most to finally find the dorms you stayed in, and another three to know your roommates schedule. everyone in the area was shaken from the murder, everything including you. but why?

he could not understand why you would lock your windows and double check if the door was locked. both of you lived in a secured building where security littered the grounds and constantly checked ID. jeff would know, he stole a carbon copy of himself (in terms of dressing style) just to make sure of your safety on campus.

“hey, watch it!” jeff barked at the random who sped by you. he fixed his mask and came to your aid, a gloved hand coming over yours to help you up from the grass.

“oh, they’re probably just late to class,” you breathed. “it’s fine, but thank you.”

through the thin lens of his sunglasses, jeff drank in your appearance. “they could’ve bumped you on to the curb side — it really ain’t, sweetheart.” you smell great by the way.

“but they didn’t.” you finally looked at him and smiled. “are you a med student?”

you’re so sweet. so pure, and he wanted to corrupt that. he wanted to see those pretty doe eyes flutter up at him like that again, for the sweetness behind your gaze was enough for him to melt. he wants you, no, he needs you.

EYELESS JACK

you were a curious one, a little too curious in this scenario. a detective in a case of which you were to figure out why bodies were missing organs — or why people were waking up with soreness to their abdomen to only find a stitched up wound.

you took this case as an eager detective who wanted to solve the biggest mystery of north america — but you felt as if you just signed your life away. in the next eight victims that fell to their demise, you made notes of when and where it occurred. it would not be until a night after talking with the sheriff and little too much rum, you found something.

to your horror, the first letter of every street spelled something. two words that nearly sent you running if it weren’t for something stopping you from leaving

“found you.” his voice was a gentle whisper, and almost incoherent if it weren’t for the dead silence in the room. you dared not turn but you felt if you didn’t, it would come closer.

the pistol is on your desk and you’re ready to make a ruckus for anyone on the street to hear. “what? was this just some silly little game for you to show me you could spell?” there were only two regrets you had in your entire life.

the first regret was that you wished you never lied to your mother of who broke the plate that was on the floor. the second regret was turning around and facing a being that was too intricate for you to understand.

“i like playing with my food.” he replied before lunging at you.

you made it out alive — but at the cost of remembering how those sockets were nothing but a void. the liquid that cried on to your face when he was on top of you, and that second, you took your pen and stabbed his side. — but that encounter made you more determined than before

this case turned into a game of cat and mouse, and neither of you know who is cat or who is the mouse. chasing each other became a source of entertainment, and conversations ensued between physical fights

he never intended on killing you, oh no. you were too… fun. the chatting, the hunting each other, the thrill of it all made him go crazy. with time, maybe he can finally sink his teeth into your skin without the murder aspect. he just wants to taste you.

TICCI TOBY

your name appeared on the file of people to “take care of.” why? he doesn’t know and quite frankly, he cannot care. you were just another name on the list that needed to be gone.

he would not lie that it took him ages to find you. the town you were supposedly at was a total flunk, and when he told the boss, he was told to figure it out. at this rate, he wanted you gone for the sake of his own sanity. yet, after a month and hopping two towns, he finally found you.

everything he had on file sprouted nothing but lies because you were a doll, quiet literally if he fixated on your skin. he watched the way you moved and the way you made it seem effortless to walk on two feet. he often tripped over his when gawking over you. your scent is just how he imagined it when he peered over your sleeping form.

you made him forget why he was in search of you in the first place. toby fantasized a lot about you: your curves, your voice, your walk, your life. he often daydreamed of it when watching from afar, especially when you went through mundane tasks such as grocery shopping. the only time he remembered why he was told to end you was when he questioned why you were such a threat.

turns out you were friends of a friend who was a foe to his boss — the eyeless man. he made it no secret when in turn he went to find jack, but he didn’t expect to meet you so soon! oh, this is way too soon, how does he look? is it okay, this setting isn’t the right place, i mean, you were supposed to be

“toby? just toby? that isn’t quiet threatening for a man like that, isn’t it?” you werent speaking towards him, but instead asking jack who snorted in return.

you were a prize on the shelf, and toby wanted to keep you behind glass doors. “listen — pal, friend — how about we make a deal.”

while jack couldn’t see it, your gaze was locked with toby’s the entire time. there was something behind them, something that you couldn’t quite place. you weren’t sure whether if it was a good or bad thing considering the work you found yourself in.

“i give you a useful warning from a boss, and i... tag a long sometimes.”

[fukashiin]

CHUUUUUUU AHHHH YOU ATE THIS UP ONCE AGAIN THIS WAS SUCH A FUZZY AND WARM READ OMG????????? I LOVE THE IDEA OF JADE BEING FHE MOST EMOTIONALLY AWARE OUT OF THE OCTATRIO LIKE YES GET A MAN WHO SOOTHES YOUR FEARS BY RUBBING YOUR SHOULDERS GET YOU A MAN WHO PAMPERS YOU TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITIES EVEN IF HE DISMISSES IT AS SOMETHING THAT HE'S "supposed to do" LIKE NO OEASE COME BAKCLEPEALSE COME MY WAY JADEEHDHDJJ

As a Boyfriend: Jade Leech

Warnings: Tooth roothinf fluff,cringe and lol first time writing for a character that im not so close... BUT for my dear; @fukashiin <3

Jade is the most advanced person in terms of emotional intelligence between Floyd, himself and Azul! He just doesn't show it, or makes people hard to guess it with his slightly sadistic traits. But he is neither open to everything like Floyd and lives according to the moment or doesn’t get hysterical like Azul and make things get out of control. He analyzes everything and approaches the person with the most point shots in an emotional sense. Just like when he managed to impress you (;

He considers himself a loser in many things, and he didn't realize it until he met you... he thought he was incompetent in most things because he set himself back from everyone, but after he becoma lovers with you, he realized that this was an idea that could only be overcome. And this is actually also when he falls in love with you. Because he has always known that someone who can make him believe unexpected thoughts is his soulmate.

A romantic gentleman. Everything he does in the position of butler is a factor that is not a role for you. Are you tired? Your favorite drink is already ready. Are you sad? Why don't you lie down on that couch over there and tell him everything? Problems with the lesson? Here are the most profound books on this topic.

You're a new member of Mountain Lover Club! At first you thought you'd be so bored... (no, you definitely didn't join that club to impress Jade...) But taking mountain trips and determining the types of mushrooms from the book turned out to be more fun than you expected! First of all, there is no phone, it's a great Decoupling from the digital environment.... Secondly, you are drunk with nature, and at the end of every walk you become full of love and mushrooms. Finally and most importantly, you taste Jade in the most authentic way... when you two are alone together, he shows you his incredibly true self and always makes you feel soft inside.

One of the things that upsets Jade the most is the sadness of his loved ones. Floyd and you are at the top of this list. If someone has upset you... God bless them. I don't think he'll let them go without leaving a serious trauma. Even if this person is your family, he scares them in some way and makes them respect him. Because Jade is always an influential person. But if any event has upset you, what he will do is solve the incident as soon as possible as efficiently as possible, because he would rather drown the world than see you upset.

He's quite jealous. But he usually shows it to the person he's jealous of by making life a little hell because he doesn't want you to understand that he's jealous…

Swimming in the sea with you with the eel form, is his favorite. You're playing with each other, laughing like there's no tomorrow, and just.... You're together.... As you lean your foreheads against each other, the reflection of the setting sun on your face is an incredible happiness for both of you.

It may seem like he's the dominant person in the relationship, but actually you're the secret boss! He's just being angry at you and leading you so that you can be happy. (He's a complete malewife... When you get married, you get a 10/10 service in your home. He is a devoted husband! devoted to his spouse, *insert proud face with mop!*)

To be lovers together with Jade is to be able to say that you also have a close relationship with Floyd! You three are a chaotic group, and there are no people who can understand or put it in a sentence to describe the craziness you are doing. And that's why Jade loves you so much. Just as you can have peaceful moments when you two are together, all the calm disappears in an instant when you put your twin Decoupled! (Floyd is very happy thst you two are dating and even jealous that Jade is dating you... But that's another day's topic!)

All in all, Jade is both a gentle lover who has all the qualities you can look for and want, and a wonderful partner who can give you the most crazy and adventurous moments.

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

I imagine that they were childhood friends and played on the gross play rugs in ikea

Headcanons me and my friend came up with if you guys would like to read… huehuehue.. 👇👇

wiki says lampert was formed in a factory but it doesn’t say he was brought to LIFE in a factory. we hc that kasper “made” lampert as a child because he was lonely in ikea and had no friends. Also being one of those mf kids who draw on the walls and everything else. he drew a face on a lamp and the next day it turned into a boy yippee. they grew up together as best friends

kasper originally named lampert lamper, cause his name is kasper and he just replaced the kasp with lamp. when he came to life lampert was like no i think its lampert, not lamper and kasper was like ok 👍😁

they liked to play cars on the car play rug in ikea. kasper liked to race and crash them and lampert liked to send in the police and ambulance for cleanup. theyd play that over and over again it never got old

when they would play outside, they liked to set up things to look really pretty (like a nice stick and leaf house or dress up a really pretty doll) and then set it on fire with a magnifying glass (lampert liked the first part, kasper liked the second part)

kasper is korean-american and he had slightly lighter hair as a kid (LET ME HAVE THIS HAVE HAVE NOTHING)

both them ace and specifically lampert ace aro and specifically like romance and sex repulsed ace aro like if you stand too close to him he freaks out imagine if someone were to kiss him that would not fly. romance and sex r NASTY to him do not touch him

when lampert would hang out with kasper he would just stand very still in the corner of the room the whole time. not for any bad reason, he is just a lamp and does not see the need to do anything else than stand in the corner while he talks. when they hang out at ikea sometimes kasper starts talking to the wrong lamp because of this

lampert has a set list of facial expressions that show exactly how he feels. this is verging on not ok :) (his normal expression) this is not ok : ) (scawy) or this : ( this is silly :] these are all more fine :( :[ D: :D :o :/

lampert talks with a similar cadence to baymax snd also is politely blunt in the very autistic way. he states his opinion on something even if maybe its not a nice thing to say but he says it very politely (when eating food someone made for him that he really doesnt like: “i dont think i will be finishing this, it does not taste good. thank you! goodbye”)

They are so autism vs adhd to me.

Kasper was probably a sticky iPad leash kid before that was really a thing he’s a real trendsetter what a guy. He would run all over the place nonstop and everyone would just see some freak kid run mach 4 snatch a rug off the ground and then disappear like a gnome

[lxcalmenace]

Some silly scenarios with bluelock boys

Based on this headcanon post

Characters included < Isagi, Bachira, Nagi, Rin, Sae and Kaiser > X gn!reader (separate)

tw: none?

⟡Isagi Yoichi - Gets into twitter discourse.

After what felt like months, it seemed that yours and Isagi's schedules had finally aligned. You entered his apartment and made your way to the living room to greet Isagi; just then you saw him sitting on the couch, a furrowed expression crossing his face and his phone in his hand. He was aggresively typing and scrolling on his phone that he failed to notice you taking a seat next to him.

"Oh shoot I didn't see you, sorry", he mutters as he shifts, allowing you to sit comfortably.

"Are you seriously arguing on twitter?," was all you said that made Isagi look away in embarrassment. Ofcourse he didn't want to admit it straight away but he was indeed losing the said argument.

"You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone right? And who even takes twitter seriously nowadays?"

You watched as Isagi let of a small huff before turning off his phone. Without a word, he pulled you in a gentle embrace as the rest of your evening blurred out into soft giggles and tender moments.

⟡Bachira Meguru - Very willing to eat inedible things.

You have been waiting to buy those food inspired scented candles for God knows too many days now; until finally, you managed to get your hands on one of them recently. It was a pancake inspired candle. It was so realistic that you could barely tell it was fake—if it weren’t for the wick sticking out of the top, you might have thought it was an actual pancake

As you opened the box, the mouthwatering, sugary smell of pancakes hit you, spreading throughout the room. This candle was too realistic and just like that, Bachira was willing to sink his teeth into the wax block.

"If it smells so good, it has to taste good too! Let me have just a bite please [name]," he whined. Bro dropped to his knees begging and pleading in exaggerated desperation- as if he would've perished due to hunger right then and there. You couldn't help but chuckle at this sight.

"Ok fine...A little bite won't hurt, but don't come complaining to me later," you sighed as you surrendered the candle to Bachira.

Disgust. Pure disgust washed over his face after he took the bite. He looked at you with teary eyes as he desperately tried to get rid of the nasty taste of the wax; which in response, you just shrugged in a 'I told you so' manner. After helping him wash his mouth and feeding him chocolates to counter the unpleasant flavor, you both finally settled down. Bachira swore that he wouldn't eat anything weird after this incident.

He tried eating cotton the next week.

⟡Nagi Seishiro - Uses two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

Nagi was out shopping for some groceries while you were tagging alone for some snacks. It was a sunny day, you both entered the supermarket; Nagi took the basket as you made your way inside. He thinks shopping for basic necessities is a hassle and thus the reason for you tagging along to keep him company. You were free to get anything you wanted so you looked around the store, but nothing caught your eye. So you decided to go back, you spotted your tall boyfriend and made your way towards him. He was in the hygiene isle, eyeing down some shampoo bottles.

"Do you seriously use 2-in-1 shampoo? -" you ask, raising your eyebrow. Nagi looked at you with an unbothered expression as he shrugged, "Uh, yeah. Been using that since forever"

"Why are you asking me this, something wrong with it?" the tall male added while casually putting another bottle in the cart.

"Your hair is always so silky and soft; Its hard to believe that a simple 2-in-1 could give you those results. I mean, people spend a ton of money on haircare products, to achieve what you have, you know?" you replied.

"Then, thanks to my genes, I guess," he smirked as he turned around to look at you. You couldn't help but sigh and let out a chuckle. There was absolutely no point in arguing with Nagi- He always managed to win, even when he wasn't trying. You raised your hands as if you were surrendering, and then you both made your way further into the store.

Nagi is a simple guy, and slowly over time, you are starting to find comfort in his simplicity.

⟡Rin Itoshi - Plays roblox.

"Rin, dinner's ready, come down!" You yelled from the kitchen whilst serving the food on the table. A few unresponsive minutes passed, so you decided to fetch Rin yourself; thinking he might be in the shower or taking a nap. Making your way to the shared bedroom, you knocked on the door before poking your head through.

There he was, sitting on his gaming chair, with the lights out, playing..roblox..? You observed him for a couple of minutes, his face was illuminated by the screen, ever so unfazed; Rin was too immersed playing The Mimic that he failed to notice you slowly creeping up on him. The only time Rin was caught off guard was when you tapped his shoulder to get his attention. You swore you saw Rin's face go pale for a second as his eyes widen in surprise. "You play roblox?," you asked as you raised your brows in amusement.

He took off his headset and he nodded, "Is dinner ready?"

"It is"

"Alright"

You both stared at each other.

"Can we play Dress to impress later? Rin please-"

"NO."

Few moments later, the dark haired striker was seen playing Dress to impress, all the bright colors and outfits flashed on his screen display.

"You're doing incredibly well, who would've thought you had those designer skills in you Rinnie," you teased him

"Oh shut up...I just don't like losing, ok?" he scoffed but there was a small smile creeping on his lips.

You rolled your eyes playfully, knowing very well that he only agreed to play this if only you were ready to join him in his horror games. It was a win-win situation for both of you.

⟡Sae Itoshi - Had an emo phase

Your phone was buzzing for quite some time now so you finally decided to check who was texting you at this time of the night. Sae was on his way home from practice; Deciding to stay up and wait for him to get home, you layed down on the couch while keeping a random movie playing in the background. As you opened the chat, you couldn't help but burst into laughter- There were old pictures of Sae; eyes lined with eyeliner, hair was dyed dark and swooped to a side and he was wearing dark clothes. You saved all the pictures one by one as you swiped for more, that's when you heard the door open- signaling that Sae had returned home. Quickly turning off your phone, you were trying so hard to contain your laughter, but a giggle escaped your lips.

Sae muttered a small, "What are you up to [name]?" before raising an eyebrow at you. He knew that you had something cooking up due to the way you were smiling at him.

"Sae," you purred, "if hypothetically someone were to leak your embarrassing pictures, what would you do?" you grinned.

You watched as Sae's expressions went from neutral to that of pure horror.

"[Name] don't you dare-" he warned.

"I'm not saying that I have any embarrassing pictures of you tho," you replied, "It was a hypothetical question, unless," a smirk formed on your lips as you looked at Sae. "You never know what could happen next."

His eyes widen in disbelief, he knew that you had something against him. "Fine, I don't have the energy to do this. Tell me what do you want," he sighed, giving up. "But atleast show me these hypothetical pictures you have acquired, and where did you even get them from?"

You giggle as you showed him all of the pictures; to which he openly cringed hard. He was definitely not expecting this. It brought back so many of his memories before going to Spain. He sighed as he accepted his faith and made his way to the bedroom to freshen up. You typed a quick 'Thank you' and sent the chat.

"Rin reacted '👍' to your chat."

⟡Michael Kaiser - Sleeps in till noon

'12:27'

It was past noon. You had finished making breakfast, eating it, doing some chores around the house, watering the plants, having a small snack and watching a few episodes of your favorite show, and yet your boyfriend was still in your bed, sleeping peacefully. You would've chalked it up to him being tired, but he had gone to bed exceptionally early too. It was starting to concern you now. What if he was not feeling well? You made your way to the bedroom and entered it silently. There he was, soft breathing and sleeping peacefully. You sat down beside him and gently touched his forehead to check if he was sick. Everything was fine. You decided to run your fingers through his messy bed hair, untangling any small knots. Michael slowly started to stir and the first thing he did was kiss your hand, which made your lips morph into a small smile.

"Good morning, mein Schatz," He mumbled groggily, "What time is it?" he asked while rubbing his eyes. He let out a yawn as he sat up your bed

"Its good afternoon now, wake up Micha," you continue to run your fingers through his blonde locks as he embraced you, still feeling sleepy.

You pat his head, "C'mon have your lunch, you must be hungry."

"Are you on the menu?" he muttered against your shoulder.

". . ."

"Then no, I dont want to eat"

"Michael no-"

Not proofread so ignore any mistakes and ty for reading !!

[justanotherfanfolks]

For the past few months, I’ve had this silly little headcanon/scenario for the 4th Birthday Line card art (the original, not the groovies) that I want to share now that we have everyone.

I like to imagine these pictures are like, official pictures the museum staff took of them. And considering this is a very fancy looking museum, uhhh, roll text:

Two Museum Workers:

“Wow, a visit from students of the prestigious Night Raven College!” (What could possibly go wrong?)

“Ok, I got the camera! Let’s take their photos!”

“Alright, beautiful! Perfect!”

“Excellent! Wonderful!”

“Ah lovely!” 

“This is easier than I thought!”

“Is- is that a macaron? I’m sorry, we have a strict no eating policy. Did he come in with that?”

“Why’s he posing with it?”

“He’s got a whole assorted platter of donuts! Seriously, how are they getting in here with that stuff!?”

“Kid, we’re already taking your picture! Why are you taking a selfie?”

“Are you yawning!? Hang on, we’ll take another- HEY COME BACK!”

“Did he get that chair from our security office? How’d he get in there?”

“Says he got permission? I mean it checks out, but how?”

“Please, no drinks in- is that a flying carpet?!”

“Wait, is that pedestal from our Olympus exhibit? How did he get that?!”

“Where did he get all of those?! Is that where the other kid got his from? Hey buddy, we have a strict no eating- where did he go?”

“Took the stool with him.”

“Why does he, hey, why do you have a whole platter of cupcakes? For Waka-sama? Listen, I don’t know who this- AGH HE’S LOUD! Fine, we'll take it like this. No, I don’t want you to regale me with tales about him!”

“Oh my gosh, it’s Vil Schoenheit!”

“He stole one of our chairs-”

"He can keep it! Take the picture!"

"How did he get a whole tart in here?! No! NO! WHO IS CHECKING THE GUESTS IN?!”

“Hey, no magic next to the paintings!”

“Should the fact this one has the carpet now concern me?”

“What the- where did he get that? Is that from our display?”

“Why do they keep grabbing the decor?”

“FINALLY! FINALLY A NORMAL BOY! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!”

“Did- did he just fall asleep?”

“I got the shot, just move him over.”

“Is that a robot?”

“Who cares, he’s not breaking the rules, take the shot!”

“He has a cupcake, should we say something?”

“No no, that’s Malleus Draconia. If he wants a cupcake, he gets the cupcake.”

"You know what? He's fine! He doesn't have any food! He's smiling politely! The stool gives him better height anyway!"

"OK I got the shot, but he's kind of staring at you now."

“Ok, for the last time, THERE IS NO FOOD ALLOWED ON THE PREMISES!”

“Ok, say cheese! Three, two-”

*sets off party popper*

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

“Ok , you know what! I’m done! I’M DONE! These NRC boys are too much for me! Have you seen the way they’re staring and smirking at the paintings, there’s something wrong with them!”

[mactavishsgfandwife]

Possessive/Dominant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley Headcanons 🎀

i don’t know if possessive/dom is the right word but idk 😋 he’s just big and scary and loves his favourite girl sexual references so mdni!

ghost who secretly loves those cute little girly dresses you wear - him in the black polo shirt that hugs around his thick biceps and you in that mini skirt. he loves how sweet you look, seeming so innocent and vulnerable as if you just need a man like him to protect you and save you from those bad men who wouldn’t treat you right. it doesn’t matter that he’s a bad man as well, that doesn’t count. and he thinks you look so pretty with that skirt around you ankles, too. ;)

ghost who will always have a hand on you in public - he needs people to know that you belong to him, that you’re his sweet favourite girl and he’s your guy

ghost who, on a similar note, bought you both matching rings - so that even though you’re not married, and he is away on a mission, you’re still together. he’ll send you photos of him wearing his ring while he’s at work, in the same style photo as this

ghost who idk but this is so him

ghost who is so protective over his little girl… a man comes up to you in a bar and starts flirting, not making much effort to hide his long glances at your body. just as he tries to grope at you, a sleazy smile on his face, a dark shadow swoops over him - a man, more like a giant, with a firm, muscular hand gripping tightly around your waist. military boots, long black cargo pants that can’t quite hide his meaty things (and that bulge between them) with a black bomber jacket draped over one of his broad shoulders. dog tags dangling from around his neck and a full sleeve of tattoos, including numerous black-eyes skulls that started out from his rough skin. this guy was terrifying. safe to say, that creepy guy left you alone.

ghost who has a dedicated album of photos of you on his phone - mostly, he just uses them to look at when he misses you or when he’s bragging to the others about his pretty little bird, but sometimes he likes to use them for other purposes. god, seeing your sweet little face, happy and smiling at the camera… you’re such a good girl for him…

ghost who’s definitely the kind of guy to fantasise about protecting you from danger

just a quick silly one, thanks for reading! xx (I think my love of big protective sexy scary older men shows through way too much here this is very self-indulgent lmao)