#and this managed to happen AGAIN but they have some degree of separation i think.

[misterradio]

if i had a nickel for every time salad fingers gives birth. i would have two nickels. which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice.

also if i had a nickel for every time he comits autocannibalism i would also have at least 2 nickels which is still not much bu

[i-heart-hxh]

Hello! I definitely love your account and I think there is no one better than you to answer my doubts about Killua and Gon's relationship, Why do you think Killua thanked Gon if he doesn't thank his friends, according to him?

Hi! Thank you for the compliment, I appreciate it! 💖

I actually have gotten a few asks about this recently, and I completely understand why--it's one of those disquieting odd little things in the series that feels like it's introducing uncertainty more than answering any questions. I don't feel completely set in my opinion on it, but I do have a lot of thoughts to share that might be clarifying. If anyone has additional input or thoughts, feel free to chime in!

I'll start by posting the scenes we're talking about, it's helpful to have a direct reference:

There's also this scene with Palm:

And in the separation scene:

(There's a whole scene between this, I recommend looking it up but I don't think it's necessary to post the whole conversation for this post.)

So, the first mystery of this whole thing is... Why does Killua say this to Ikalgo and Palm in the first place? A few potential reasons:

Killua is increasingly helping others more and becoming a more selfless and caring person, and he doesn't want it to be a big scene or a big deal when he does it. It's part of the way he's coming into himself and defining friendship in his own way

Similarly: Because Killua shows his care for others in his relationships with acts of service primarily, it makes sense he wouldn't want or need it to be acknowledged constantly

He and his friends will be fighting alongside each other in war/battles/dangerous situations, on a practical and safety level it doesn't make sense to acknowledge helping each other every time, especially in the midst of a battle or other risky situation

He and Gon have gotten used to helping each other, and in their relationship they tend not to thank each other constantly (even when it's perhaps warranted at times...), so it's become a pattern Killua has gotten used to and is now perpetuating in his other friendships

Killua feels awkward/vulnerable about being thanked and prefers for it to remain unspoken for that reason

Mystery #2 is... What does it mean that Killua does thank Gon after having said this to Ikalgo and Palm?

A few factors may be:

Killua has not communicated this newfound attitude and philosophy to Gon, so it may simply not apply to him yet

Gon thanks Killua first, which I think puts Killua in a weird position because to suddenly refuse the thank you and explain this whole philosophy he has now would be awkward, especially when they're just about to separate

Killua went to extraordinary efforts to save Gon--this was not a quick and simple thing that is undeserving of a thank you, and especially with how Gon treated Killua previously, so in this case he may see it as a thank you that's earned and appreciated (note that he said he doesn't need to thank his friends every time, not that he'll never ever thank his friends again)

I do think Killua is legitimately grateful for his journey with Gon and where it lead him, even with all the pain he went through in Chimera Ant Arc, and even with the uncertainty in their relationship at present, and he's legitimately grateful that now Alluka can have a good life because of what happened

And, a thought I do want to expound on more at length:

I do think, at their parting, Killua still isn't entirely certain where he stands in his relationship with Gon. They presumably haven't talked deeply about the issues between them, Killua's question about them being friends or comrades was never answered because he never asked it, and Killua likely still has some lingering doubts about how Gon sees him and also perhaps even how worthy he is of being with Gon, even after managing to ultimately save and heal him.

It is entirely possible he's not applying this logic to his friendship with Gon because...he's not sure they are friends to the degree they used to be, and he doesn't want to presume and list this rule out with someone who, in his view, may or may not consider him a friend to the same degree at this point. It's similar to Gon using Kite's words during the separation rather than bringing up the relationship between the two of them more directly--I think both were skirting around the topic because they didn't want to a) make it harder to leave each other, and b) further hurt each other or themselves by defining their relationship at the last moment and then having the other react to that in some way that's painful.

This doesn't mean their relationship is doomed if Killua thinks this, by the way. I think--similar to Gon happening to use "nakama" towards Killua after Killua had a crisis about that exact word--on a narrative level it's intended to throw some doubt into where their relationship leaves off. It's clear there's still a lot they need to say to each other and a lot that still needs to be resolved, and I think Killua thanking Gon after telling his other friends he doesn't need to thank his friends fits neatly into that. Togashi is leaving us with doubts and uncertainty because...there's still more for them to work through and heal from, and in the future hopefully we'll get to see them resolving these issues. But I'm sure the separation is intentionally fraught and complicated and meant to make us wonder what their relationship will be like going forward.

Hopefully in time we'll get to see how that resolves in canon, but for now I don't think this "thank you" situation is anything to panic about, for all the reasons I listed above. It does introduce some uncertainty, but I think it's because Gon and Killua are still in the miscommunication and difficulty phase of their story, and we simply haven't gotten to the point where they can clear things up yet.

I hope that's helpful, and at least a little bit reassuring!

[chrysanthemumgames]

Hi again!

This time I come back after re-reading the entire thing! Of course, aside from fixes to small continuity error and other stuff like that, it didn't change much from the last time I've read it, so I won't be saying anything new in terms of how much I love it and so on! It's just awesome as usual!

But I have a few questions I'd love to delve into, that I just didn't ask when the book wasn't finished, either because I didn't think of them or because I sort of preferred to wait for it to be actually done.

Sorry in advance for the long post though! It seems I'm unable to keep things short!

On a Hades romance playthrough, especially with a reserved MC who doesn't overtly flirt… Who among the other ROs and other people close to the main cast notices or suspects that there's a spark of "something" between Hades and the MC at the end of book 1? Considering just how much of a slow burn this route is, there isn't much to see yet, romance wise, but I feel like some people may realize something is starting to "shift" there.

When dining with Hera during her visit in chapter 6, if the MC tells her they like the Undeworld and what not, she ends up commenting "A shame". This line always had me reeling, but I didn't re-ask about it after first reading the entirety of the book so I'll do it now. Did she know what Demeter had planned to do? I always wondered why she'd think it's a shame, and it's pretty clear from the climax of the story that Zeus prefers the MC to stay in the Underworld, so I don't imagine it would be something like Hera knowing her husband wants to bring the MC back against their will. And there is no reason for her to have wanted MC to be unhappy for whatever reason. So it only leaves the option of her knowing about Demeter's plan in my mind, but maybe I'm missing something?

After the whole Eurydice and Orpheus thing, Hades says "There are some fates which very much deserve the fight. I know not what yours is, but if it turns out to be one you don't want, I am glad you have the power to change it. Not that this means I wouldn't do everything I could to help as well, of course." - it makes me wonder… Since for the duo of lovers their fate should have been for Orpheus to fail and that changed in my playthrough's case with my Dionysus' influence, I was wondering if in the scope of this story, the MC's "fate" should be the original outcome of the Persephone myth, with the "spending half a year in one realm the other half in another", and any other outcome is a result of having changed fate? Or is this not a part of their story that's truly decided by Fate in this interpretation of the myth? Also side note if it's the case, I think it's funny and kind of poetic that my MC basically traded his fate with Eurydice? Because his fate should have been spending half a year here and half there, and her fate should have been being separated from the one who came for her again after he failed and returning to the Underworld alone. But here, she managed to make Orpheus sort of succeed thanks to MC and now THESE TWO will spend half a year in one realm and half in another, while my MC managed to make Demeter fail and make it so he could go back and stay in the Underworld full time.

And final one! How much did Pirithous and Theseus get to know about what happened after Demeter dismissed them? At the very least in a scenario where they actually kidnapped the MC, not one where MC followed willingly. Not only I'm curious of Pirithous reflected upon his actions, but I'm also intrigued as if Theseus was "satisfied" of sorts that MC managed to go back (if that was indeed the case), considering he seemed against the kidnapping at least to a degree. If they even COULD keep informed, since they are demi-gods living as mortals as far as I understand their situation. I was just always interested in these two since they only appear in that short part of the story but what they do is HUGE.

And that's it. Sorry again for such a long post, and thanks for indulging me if you decide to answer even only some of the questions!

So!

I think a few of the others have picked up on things. I would say Charon and Hekate definitely know something is going on there, and friend!Hermes might have picked up some vibes as well. Even Alekto might have had a passing suspicion, though she doesn't quite consider it her business, and so doesn't devote much thought to it. People will tell her things when they want her to know them, you know?

Hera didn't have specific information about Demeter's plans, but she did know that it was likely she would take some form of drastic action. From her point of view, the arranged marriage was something Zeus did to screw with her (Demeter), and he was likely to reverse his decision once he'd had his fun with it/gotten some kind of concession from Demeter. So to Hera it seemed likely the PC had just found someplace they enjoyed, but their being taken away from it was basically a given.

There isn't really an assumed or default end for the story (or rather, not one that is more mechanically likely than another), but sort of yes! The PC ending up with a different outcome from the source story could be seen as their fate-subverting power at work. :)

Pirithous and Theseus are basically aware of the trajectory of events after they left, and this is because they're eventually brought to the Underworld for trial by the Erinyes. This is dealt with in the first chapter of the sequel.

Thanks as always for your kind words, and no worries about the questions!

[the-bonfires-ember]

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

More things I think would happen if Jeeves and Wooster were on DS9

Part 1 Part 1.5

It's a bit harder in space than in London for Bertie's relatives and school friends to track him down and beg for favors. Unfortunately, Jeeves’s reputation as a problem-solver has spread around the station, and the problems Bertie's NEW friends bring to him are even more ridiculous.

Week after week: "Help, I got Zanthi fever at the Gratitude Festival and now my fiancée won't speak to me"—"I love a girl from a few star systems over, but on her homeworld unmarried men and women are only allowed to communicate via each other's same-gender parent and her mom hates me"—"Your Uncle Tom wants a rare silver thing but this asshole Ferengi trader won't let him have it" (sometimes his relatives DO visit)

When he doesn’t end up with dubiously legal, stolen, or dangerous alien merchandise smuggled aboard his ship against his will (and also when he does), he keeps managing to stumble coincidentally into the exact combination of words and actions that make up some alien culture's courtship ritual (nobody told him that on Glorgon, pushing somebody into a body of water is considered the first step in a marriage proposal!)

The Gussie/Madeline/Spode love triangle follows him to space, obviously. No matter where he is in the galaxy, fiancé(e)s of the week will come and go, but the Gussie/Madeline/Spode love triangle is a universal constant. There is no galaxy or universe he can escape to where the triangle will not follow.

I feel like this goes without saying, but Gussie is a human scientist stationed on Bajor to study newts native amphibious life forms found in the planet's rivers. He and Bertie still went to school together. Spode is a firebrand Bajoran nationalist politician who had ties to the Circle before their failed coup, but not quite enough for anything to be proved against him.

Bassett Madeline is a Bajoran astronomer who writes poetry on the side and visits the station sometimes to help with research on the wormhole. She’s actually a very qualified scientist, but there’s nothing stopping her from knowing how the stars work AND believing they’re the Prophets’ daisy chain.

Kira really, REALLY wants to like her. She wants to like her so badly. Another highly accomplished religious Bajoran woman is visiting, she should be thrilled! They have so much to talk about! Madeline's fervor toward their shared faith is nothing less than admirable and inspiring and an example to us all, and not at ALL "mawkish" or "a bit much," JULIAN, and no Kira does NOT have a headache, but on second thoughts maybe she should head to the infirmary just in case.

Fortunately, Madeline is usually on the station to work with Jadzia, who regards her mushy tendencies with gentle amusement.

Kira eventually warms to Madeline somewhat when, one day, she (Madeline) visits the station after a fight with Gussie, and Jadzia, taking pity, invites her to play Camelot with her and Kira in the holosuites. Kira has to grit her teeth through the first half, but the three of them end up bonding when something inevitably goes wrong with the safety protocols and they have to fight a real dragon or something. Kira still wouldn't call Madeline her best friend, but she can find it in herself to tolerate the daisy-chain talk with a more bonhomous spirit.

Bertie has no idea any of this is happening, but is just grateful that Jadzia managed to whisk Madeline off to the holosuites before she could try to marry HIM again. He has the Bajoran Rite of Separation memorized by heart and he's running out of bowls.

He also isn't sure what all that was about when Jadzia assured him that she's got this, don't worry about it, you go on and spend some quality time with Jeeves, and then winked at him. Or why this made Jeeves tighten his jaw by the minutest degree and disappear to "supervise repairs," even though Bertie is almost certain there are no repairs left to be done.

It's all a bit rummy, but Jadzia is a dependable sort of cove, and if she says there's nothing to worry about then he trusts there's nothing to worry about. She's a bit like Jeeves in that respect, what? So he shrugs it off and goes to play darts with Julian and Miles instead.

Bertie is obviously a common fixture at the dartboard in Quark's. He also plays tennis with Julian sometimes (Miles being kind of done with tennis after what happened last time). Quark tried to start a betting pool on their games one time, but hit a snag when it turned out that many of the non-human bar customers had trouble telling the competitors apart.

Bertie once sat with Jadzia over a couple drinks as she patiently tried to explain the concept of joined Trill to him (he had been asking about why Sisko calls her "old man"). The discussion ended with Jadzia kindly patting him on the shoulder and inviting him to a game of Dabo.

As it happens, there weren't really any repairs to be done on the ship, but in pretending he was carrying out inspections Jeeves DID discover a hidden device on the warp engine that would have caused everyone on the station to hallucinate their worst enemy's face onto random strangers when the engine was engaged, so the day wasn't a complete wash.

(He kept the device instead of reporting it, naturally. You never know what might come in handy some day. But the plot would have fallen apart anyway, as the aliens who'd planted it suddenly found themselves succumbing to infighting after their first officer received an anonymous message alerting them to the fact that the captain had been planning to short the crew on their pay.)

[imagionary]

Are Buck and Dave aware of HR? Why did Brian create them? Boredom? From your doodles Dave seems chill with HR but what do the two think of each other?

Sorry I got a lot of questions and sending it all in one ask seems smart

Buck and Dave are fully aware of High Roller! High Roller works as HR (CR? PR?) and is quite friendly with most of the other managers and employees in COGS.Inc

One day, Buck and Dave did something so absurd, that it got the both of them fired (Evils and I don't know what this incident could have been, but our guess is that Buck ended up becoming too powerful to an eldrich degree somehow, probably through contracts with Dave, and ended up using some kind of crazy power through his slot abilities?) Well, Brian decided why not use the scrap of Dave (Brian is fully aware that there is something going on with Dave,,) and Buck and see what happens, so he did.

Once his experiment was done, it finished itself; grew its own skin, more intricate wiring, and finishing touches, and its title appeared on its blueprint page: High Roller.

Brian has been fascinated with this strange occurrence ever since. Now he knew something had to be up with Dave; and besides, of course he built a new Buck, but he never built a new Dave,, and yet the next day Dave was walking around the office again, despite Brian having used his scrap to create High Roller

Dave and High Roller are very good friends! There's something going on between the two of them, omg xD Dave and High Roller keep jokingly flirt with each other and talk to each other in ways they wouldn't with others, and they also do things for each other that they wouldn't with others; but they treat it like a joke, so who knows what's going on between them other than it ain't gay to kiss your homie goodnight; such close friends that you can wake up hugging in the same bed; such close friends that you can joke about clacking keys and having long drinks over at each other's houses, etc

Dave likes to go to High Roller and pull little pranks on him, like keeping his chair cold; he and High Roller like to gift each other money (they're like two artists passing around the same 100 bucks); High Roller likes to gift everyone little rubber low ballers, but he especially likes to give silly little ones to Chip and Dave; Dave goes to High Roller's office every so often so he can clang in his corner; High Roller and Dave like to help each other out all the time, and other people they enjoy, and jokingly bicker with each other when it comes to money (they both get into quarrels about who will give who more money or who gets to chip in most when helping other's, etc; they're silly); Dave doesn't normally go to anyone for his thoughts or feelings, but he has been going to High Roller a bit more often for it,,

Buck is a new Buck, and doesn't remember the close bond he had with Dave; but Dave is still Dave and he remembers everything, mi compadre; High Roller is her own separate entity, they don't count themself as Buck or Dave or a mix of them, and Dave and Buck don't count High Roller as such either

I hope this answers everything!

[primussavethesemechs]

We GOTTA talk about how deadly energon is to humans- or at the very least, how deadly it is in tfp.

I’ll put it this way

Megatron took a distant potshot at bee for funsies and flew away, I don’t think he was even really attempting to kill him or at least he wasn’t putting any real effort in. Bee walked it off easy, didn’t even receive any first aid for it since everyone was more worried about raf- but he was just fine without it, probably hurt like a bitch in the moment but no long term effects

Raf managed to absorb the barest aftermath of it through bees interior and immediately went into the beginnings of total organ failure.

As far as I can tell based off how energon works and the fact that there’s never any real residue from rogue shots, the energon is superheated into an almost plasma-like state, physical and visible when shot out but atomizes the second it makes contact with anything, transferring itself into pure energy- not to mention the apparent radiation-like after effects of a human body absorbing the energy (this at least applies to dark energon, not sure if that’s a specific thing or if all energon does it) Capable of doing damage to (and through) the armor of the bots which we’ve seen are incredibly resistant to most human weaponry.

It would absolutely MELT humans if it made direct contact.

It would act like magma and plasma wrapped in one- like magma in the initial contact point- third degree burns on the skin and muscle tissue- but since it transfers itself INTO what it hits as pure red hot energy… it’d cook you from the inside out as well- and AGAIN that’s not even mentioning the organ failure after effects

That is to say- that’s what happens if it glances you, as a regular energon shot is potentially large enough to completely engulf a human and cremate them instantaneously.

Wouldn’t that be horrifying? The bots have no idea what energon would really do to humans- only that it’s likely to be lethal, how terrifying would it be for you to get separated in a battle, and end up cornered by a con, maybe not even one of the particularly intimidating ones, it doesn’t have to be megatron or soundwave, or even starscream- it could just be some vehicon.

You end up cornered and Megatron’s marked you as one of the autobot’s human pets- to be killed on sight or perhaps taken hostage for later. The vehicon doesn’t see himself getting away while carrying you so he chooses the easier option, termination.

They hear a distant yell from you and the charge of a canon- and then there’s a flash and you’re gone.

Not even a body. Perhaps some ashes or something of the like, but mainly the shadow of your existence and death painted on the wall in the form of scorch marks.

You see, while energon itself doesn’t seem to leave any residue I’ve noticed that rogue shots tend to leave scorch marks on whatever solid objects they hit if they’re durable enough to withstand the shot itself- like the ground or the walls of the nemesis or the base.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the pictures from things like this but the funny thing about explosions, and bursts of light in general, is that given enough intensity and an immediate background, they can and will leave silhouettes of people and objects in the aftermath.

They may not have seen you die but they can see your final moments captured in a snapshot even after everything else of you has been practically wiped from existence- the final image of you, backed against the wall with your arms over your face in a last ditch attempt at defense.

[kariachi]

Oh look, fic back in my proper fandom of doom!

Team Tennyson discussing mutants and schooling.

~~

“Just saying, think a lot of mutants could do with going to school separate from other kids for at least elementary. Homeschool, dedicated school, something.” Rook nodded along as he spoke, unfamiliar with any part of Earth schooling pre-university, unfamiliar with mutants outside of the ones he fought and was friends with, and willing to accept Kevin as an expert on the juxtaposition. The Tennysons didn’t look as convinced, but there was a degree of understanding in their gazes.

“And I don’t think isolating them like that would do any good,” Gwendolyn countered. “Kids who haven’t dealt with mutants before then aren’t going to be any nicer, and they might have problems socializing.”

“I don’t think we can talk on that one,” Ben said. “I mean, your powers didn’t come in until nearly middle school, and you kept them hidden really well, and you still didn’t do any better on the friend thing than I did. If we couldn’t manage because we were seemingly normal-weird, Kev probably has a point with mutant-weird.” At the other end of the couch, Kevin nodded.

“It wouldn’t fix everything, but it’d stop kids from getting as much of a reputation before they can totally control their powers,” he said. “Plus, they’d get the chance to grow a thicker skin before they get tossed to the fucking wolves.”

“It wouldn’t fix the socialization issue though.”

“G, babe, out of the mutants you know, how many of us are well socialized?” She opened her mouth. She closed her mouth. She opened it again.

“Darkstar.”

“I think you’re just helping him with that one,” Ben said as Kevin gave her a small, smug smile.

“The cannibal is not necessarily a good example,” Rook agreed. Gwendolyn huffed a sigh.

“He does seem well socialized aside from that though. He managed a cult for fuck’s sake.”

“Great,” Kevin said, “one outta too damn many. At that point I gotta assume either it happened despite going to school like normal or’s a private school thing.”

���Which backs up your claim that dedicated schooling for young mutants is a good idea,” Rook said. A brief grin and a nod came his way in response.

“Fuck knows Cooper and I coulda used it,” Kevin added.

“Cooper doesn’t count,” Gwendolyn said with a shake of her head, “he was homeschooled.”

“After normal school didn’t work out,” Kevin countered.

“Yeah, but that was because his migraines messed with it.” Ben hummed and shrugged, gesturing his agreement at his cousin. Without missing a beat Kevin pulled out his phone and quickly dialed. Some song in Japanese played out of it for several seconds before it was answered.

“Yello~”

“Coop, man, real quick, school.” There was a long, huffing breath on the other end of the line.

“I can’t remember it so well anymore, but I still wish I’d managed to burn the place down.”

“Cooper!” Despite the shout Gwendolyn was biting back a mixed expression of amusement and concern, while Rook shook his head and Ben laughed.

“You weren’t there! I once got detention for ‘faking’ a migraine to ‘get out of punishment’ when I accidentally messed with a computer! Ask Kevin, he understands!” A quick look showed said older mutant nodding, shrugging.

“Got suspended once cause a classmate threw a rock at a girl thinking she was me. Adults decided I must have started shit. If it’s not other kids giving you shit for being different it’s teachers assuming the worst so you don’t ‘go bad’.” The others shared a look, this one pure concern. “Why it’d be nice to be able to keep mutant kids out of that mess until they’ve got their powers mostly under control and won’t be as fucked up by people being assholes.”

For a moment, the room sat quiet. The non-mutants looked between themselves, silent conversations going miles a minute. Faces slipping back and forth between concern, morbid curiosity, and anger. Gwendolyn was the first one to speak again, but by the tight-lipped, furrowed expressions on their faces, Ben and Rook were on her side.

“Alright, yeah, if that’s how people are to you guys, homeschooling it fucking is.”

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave- chapter 30 - still Gale’s POV

“Gale… What was that?!” Karlach shouts with excitement, in complete awe as I finish releasing my fatal power that demolished so many of these cultists. I stare at my shaking hands with a surprised expression, trying to comprehend what exactly just happened. I had no control of this power, but it seems it was triggered when approaching the center of the temple. Something within this place – or someone – must have caused it to unleash ferociously, and I was unable to stop it. While I think this power is great in the correct hands, it actually scared me to a certain degree. Is it only caused by an evil presence? Whatever it was, it’s unrelated to the weave.

“I…don’t know. It must have come with being immortal.I was never told about this.” The assassins that did manage to live through that intense power come charging toward us with daggers, and two of them try to stun me, but my body manages to resist their spell. Wyll casts Hunger of Hadar, slowing the movement of the attackers and damaging them in the process while Halsin casts the Wall of Fire spell, which kills off the ones that were already suffering from previously inflicted damage. One final man stands in front of us, terrified as he examines the chambers around us. No other Bhaalists are standing; not in this room, anyway.

“You will not…get in the way,” one of the assassins grumbles, holding out his sharp dagger and pointing it at my face. “We will continue to populate it until you can’t take it anymore. Your power will soon become exhausted. YOU WILL ALL FACE JUDGMENT FROM THE MURDER LORD. Even you, wizard. Your immortality will be stripped away and your head will make a nice trophy on the altar.” I shake my head in disbelief, laughing at his retort. “Do not underestimate Father.”

“Do you not know how immortality works? Are you so absorbed in the idea of killing that it completely blinded you from–”

“SILENCE.” Astarion approaches the assassin from behind, jamming his daggers into both sides of the man’s neck, stabbing him until he quivers on the floor from the loss of blood. His breath is inconsistent, gasping for life as he struggles to live. I stare at him, watching him suffer from the pain, feeling a sense of satisfaction as he dies. No movement. No heart beating. I shouldn’t feel a thrill like this, but I do feel content that the city will come to peace at last once these repugnant monsters fully perish from Faerȗn.

All of us observe our surroundings, only hearing the echo of our own breaths as we stand here.

“Was that the last of them?” Karlach bellows, catching her breath. While I feel like we’ve taken care of a good portion of these murderers, we still have quite aways before the city is safe again.

“No, we still have to find the source of these dagger-happy sociopaths,” I mutter, clenching my fists as I close my eyes. We made progress. Less people will die today. I see a stairway that leads into a separate room within the temple that I never noticed before. What if the source is in that room?

“What kind of source do you believe is responsible for these monstrosities?” Halsin asks, trembling from the haunting presence in this room. I can’t say I blame him. After a moment of silence, a disturbing and loud groan escapes from the room above the stairway. We all stare at each other with perplexion and follow the sound.

“Oh Gods, I am not quite sure I want to see what’s up there,” Karlach utters. “Come on, Karlach. Put on your big girl underwear.”

We head up the stone stairs, and the moaning gets louder as we approach the sound, only more agonizing. As we reach the room, I notice it’s actually Orin’s bedroom. Paintings of herself are on two of the walls that are parallel from one another, and next to one of these paintings is a decomposing dead woman who is tied up against a wooden structure of some sort. On her stomach, the name Helena is carved… This must have been Orin’s mother. On the bed lies a suffering dragonborn, trembling from some sort of trauma as she breathes heavily and groaning from displeasurement.

“Please…make it stop…” Her voice is weak as she tries to move, but the pain causes her body to clench. What the hell is happening? Who is this poor tortured soul? I look down and notice a white male dragonborn dead on the floor, lying in a pool of his own blood. On his back, the words “Dark Urge” and “Bhaalspawn” are carved through his decaying flesh. Who was he?

“Kill me…please. I beg of you. I can’t do this anymore,” the female dragonborn pleads once more.

“Oh my Gods, what did they do to her?” Karlach whispers, staring at her in pure horror. I study the dragonborn, noticing various signs of trauma across her body. Bruises across her ribs, the inability to move her body, marks of fingerprints across her neck as if she were being choked, and bags under her eyes as if she hasn’t slept in days. Sounds of babies crying can be heard in the far distance, which makes me wonder: is she the source of the Bhaalspawn?

“I was used. Repeatedly. To create these…spawn of the murder lord.” Well, that answers my questions. Her voice is fading as she grips the sheets with her claws. “PLEASE!” I don’t know what the right choice would be here, especially since I hate taking lives of the innocent. If we heal her, she could have a way better life ahead of her…if we can even do that. It seems she can’t handle being alive and that she’s bound to Bhaal no matter what. As my mind is racing at a million miles per hour, Astarion approaches her and sighs, pulling out his bloody, silver dagger, staring at it in hesitation. It glistens within his reflection as he contemplates his next move.

“Let me do it,” he shudders, wiping off the blood from his knife into his armor. He takes a deep, heavy breath as he closes his eyes, then stabs her until she’s lifeless. Every second of witnessing that was painful to watch.

“Thank you,” she wails before closing her eyes forever. We all look at her with melancholy eyes, wishing she had a much better life than whatever this was. Who was she? Did she worship Bhaal, thinking he would give her anything she wanted? Whatever the circumstance, it seems she was given false promises and was used to create his spawn. I place a white sheet over her body, feeling pain and heartache within me as we bring her peace.

Our adventure back home begins now. I’m ready to get out of here and hopefully never come back. I need the comfort of my beautiful Emmy’s arms around me. I need to hold my little baby again and kiss her forehead. I need the warmth of Tara on my shoulder or in my lap as I read a book. Everything that brings me comfort – I long for it desperately.

We are silent for a few miles, trying to process the entirety of what we went through. While defeating the Bhaalists wasn’t exactly traumatizing to any degree, having to take the life of that dragonborn who so desperately wanted it, well… that affected us.

“I just…” Astarion hesitates, then sighs. “I just miss my little family. Shadowheart. Holding my little one. I hope this is the last time we have to deal with something as mortifying as what we just witnessed. That’s not the type of debauchery I’m used to.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” I express with a feeling of absence within my mind. “Let’s camp and make our way back home. I’ve had enough for one damned day.” The sun begins to set, radiating a glorious violet aura and soothing to the sight. Finally, some peace on this forsaken day.

The evening ends with us eating at the campfire, cooking delicious food, and enjoying each other’s company. Time for some well-needed rest.

[unrooms]

With the passage of time bearing down on you, you decide to get to work on the puzzle. As you get up, though, it occurs to you that you think you already have a solution. That’s... weird, you weren’t thinking about it... did your subconscious solve it?

You move around the room, flipping switches in the pattern your brain is telling you is right. Finally, you come back to the one in front of the pillar, where the water currently reaches, and flip that one. You watch as water flows under the floor and the walls.

As water flows into the key mold, something happens. The glass starts to... shift, almost as though it were molten; protruding further out of the door, until it separates entirely and starts to fall. Panicking, you manage to catch it before it shatters.

You try to fit the key into the door’s lock, but it’s too big. You try the handle on the door, but it won’t turn, not even a little. It’s almost like... you squint at the door. On closer inspection, the grooves between the door and the wall don’t go all the way in; they’re just shallow indentations in the wall. You’re not sure this is a real door. You look back down at the key. Was that all it took to get one of the four? Maybe you’re going to be fine...

You think about going back out into the first room, but another idea occurs to you. You look at the symbol on the side of the door from the pool room again, and then trace your mental map. Maybe you could make the water go in... sort of the same shape?

But, when you switched the water’s direction, the water that was going the other way drained out. Given that, you don’t think you could make it very similar. So you decide that’s probably not intended, especially since you already got the key.

You pace the room one more time, trying to make sure you don’t miss anything. Then you swing the heavy door back the other way and leave the water room.

You sit down on the pool edge again, considering what to do next. You stare up at the ceiling, wondering once again what this place even is. What it did with the key there... and the way the solution to the puzzle just sort of came to you... there’s definitely something weird going on. You look back down at the words under your palm, on the rim of the pool- but as you read, you realize they’ve changed. You open your phone and check your picture from earlier, just to make sure you’re not crazy- yeah, this is definitely new. Now the pool reads:

“ONE OUT OF FOUR OF THE KEYS IN HAND | THOUGH WATER IS KNOWN TO BE THE MOST ACCOMMODATING | INTERESTING THAT YOU CHOSE THE FIRST OF THE ELEMENTS FIRST | ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM”

“...Hm.”

After staring for a minute, you write this new message down in your phone after the first. Then you look around.

If someone else was in here since I was here last, maybe there’d be some trace? Then again, for all I know, they changed the pool magically from a distance or something... or the pool is just enchanted to change on its own...

You don’t see any change in the room besides the pool, no matter how hard you look. You’ve never been one to believe in magic, but you’re definitely starting to wonder. You take the glass key out of your pocket and look at it again, just thinking.

You sigh. You’ve definitely been freaking out to some degree this whole time. ...And you’re also operating on less than an optimal amount of sleep with no coffee, so that’s not helping. But you’re starting to feel more determined and less afraid. Well, still afraid. But you know.

“...Hey,” you say out loud, feeling kind of stupid, “I know I yelled earlier and no one answered, but... if there’s someone around, or if like, the room itself or something can hear me, come on. Let’s... talk.”

...

“Surely you want to communicate. Why else put that message on the pool? That was pretty clearly written to me, right? Just... tell me what you want... if you’re there.”

You stand up and look at the pool intently, but the words stay frustratingly static. Then you glance around the room in case you’re missing anything.

“Come on, please? I’m uh, sorry for kicking the door earlier?”

...

“Maybe I am just talking to myself.”

You run a hand through your hair in exasperation. Oh well. You check your phone: 3:56 am.

You should probably choose another door to go through. You wonder, if water is the first element, what’s the next one? ...Why do they have an order, anyway?

If the doors are in order clockwise, the next one’s the one with the crescent shape. If it’s counter-clockwise, it’s the one with the hexagon. Does it... matter what order you go through them?

You’ve definitely decided to go through another door soon, but before you decide which one, you check the time on your phone again. Maybe it’s because you’re on a time limit, but you feel sort of compelled to watch the hour change.

3:59...

4:00.

What now?

--HOUR THREE--

[ilovebeingaturtle]

Do you have any HC's for the Mondo Geckos of both 2012 and 1987?

EEE okay yeah sure!! This is going to be very disjointed I’m just gonna ramble as things come to my head here goes-

Starting with 87 Mondo and some random headcanons, he absolutely loves bright colours and mismatching clothes. It’s a way for him to really express himself you know? He had to learn to act tough to survive but his neon accessories and hair started as ways of rebellion almost. Once he gets settled, I think Michelangelo lets Mondo rummage around their disguises and take whatever stuff he wants that they don’t use anymore, and then even later on they take him shopping so he gets a whole WARDROBE of tacky clothes to mis and match to his content.

I think Mondo took some time to lighten up to the other turtles like he did with Michelangelo. It probably takes him the longest time to connect with Leonardo, he thinks the leader is too preachy and prissy at first. He might be reformed, but he’s no goody two shoes and I could see some conflict arising from that. Leonardo definitely proves his assumptions wrong though, and Mondo grows to have a lot of respect for him instead.

Him and Raphael have a teasing dynamic, they trade barbs frequently but it’s all in good fun. In the beginning? I could see Raphael being very distrustful of Mondo still, he’d mask it with his sarcasm but Mondo would definitely be able to tell. Raphael thought Michelangelo died because of Mondo, that terrified the turtle, but I think that resentment would be resolved once Raphael sees just how much Mondo cares for Michelangelo too. Mondo adores Michelangelo, so as long as he doesn’t hold a gun to him again, Raphael is more than okay with having someone else looking out for their goofball.

I think Mondo is still very self preservational, not really a hero type, but he’s a sweetheart when it comes down to it. It’s easy for him to maybe make a selfish choice when he has distance to it, but if it’s happening right in front of him his always morals kick in-he’ll do the right thing on impulse every time. Or if Michelangelo asks him to. He still can’t figure out how this guy manages to break his resolve every time...

I think he also likely has a degree of separation anxiety, not that he’d ever admit it. He claims to be a lone wolf but the turtles know he’ll always be nearby or in the area at all times because he doesn’t like the thought of straying too far away from them again. He probably still gets nightmares over being taken away, except nowadays they’re almost worse because he can put faces and personalities to who he might loose. There’s also the fact that he’d grown used to always being around the other criminals and working for Mr X, I think he’d likely feel directionless for a bit. Skateboarding is an escape for him, it’s freeing and he can just let everything else wash away. He can spend hours just skating and getting totally lost in it, whenever he gets overwhelmed or lashes out-the turtles know when he runs off he just needs that alone time with his board first before one of them goes to find him.

Mondo likely doesn’t know how to behave around Splinter at first, his past experience with a parental figure/authority weren’t...exactly pleasant, he’s likely uncharacteristically polite around Splinter because he doesn’t want to risk making him angry or not being allowed to hang with the turtles anymore. Splinter always assures him that’ll never happen though. Splinter probably immediately accepts Mondo as his own, which definitely doesn’t makes the gecko tear up what are you talking about-

I think once Mondo finds out how talented of a driver and motorbike rider April is, he’d think she’s so cool. He’d probably even ask her if they wanted to race at some point, April is a bit distrustful of him still, but warms up to him quick, especially after seeing how her boys have latched onto him. I do think that after the whole Dirk Savage incident Mondo becomes more skittish and distrustful of humans though, to the extent that he doesn’t even really want to be around them anymore. He’s so sick of being used and seen as lesser by them, which is why I actually? Like to imagine he goes to stay with the Punk Frogs for a while after that episode? Imagining their dynamic is just so funny to me, the frogs would be delighted to take him in and Mondo quickly discovers he’d KILL for these silly goobers, they become a little family. I do also like the idea of exploring a potential dynamic he could have with Mona Lisa, but I’ll save talking about those for the fics I’m writing with them.

As for 2012 Mondo, I uh. Honestly don’t like this version very much AHA, he feels too comedic relief-y for me to really connect with him. There’s some potential exploring his dynamic with Xever? But that’s all I got rn, sorry!!!

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

I think my escalating lack of willingness to try to form close relationships with new people is also bleeding over into my ability to enjoy or get invested in new media.

I think normally when a person watches media there's this element of feeling like they -know- the blorbos and become emotionally attached to them, but now I experience something that's more like "I wish them the best but these blorbos are for other people, not me" that feels a lot like seeing people in real life and having the sense "Well I wish these people the best but they are for other people and not me."

And so I watch a new media, Wheel of time, the witcher, new cartoons, marvel and dc properties I hadn't previously gotten into, all the things tumblr thinks are good, and I just feel like they aren't -my- shows. Like I am someone who watched the shows but I am not really a 'fan'. I'm not invested the way other people are. Everything has become the opposite of a special interest. I don't know if I am capable of forming new special interests. In characters or media anyway.

It's not that they aren't characters that should appeal to me in the way people should appeal to me as friends or anything else... I can see that I "should" feel attached to these characters, some of them seem to have the right collection of qualities. It just falls flat. They don't manage to stay in my thoughts when the media has stopped playing.

And when I try to motivate myself to watch a new show it feels like the emotional labour of getting invested in it is just too high of a cost that isn't really going to pay off. It's hard to get really invested in a story when you can't tap into strong feelings about any of the characters.

I have had -slightly- better luck with properties and characters I was already invested in to some degree before, but in most cases I am still experiencing a strong sense of "these people seem nice and all, and yeah, stop doing bad shit to them, but largely what they do is none of my business." Like I still objectively care to some degree what happens to them the way you generally want people you see around to have a good day, but there is zero personal attachment left in 99.9999% of cases, and it just makes it really challenging to get into anything new.

I don't know how to fix it, because the longer I have to live in isolation due to corona anyway, the more I am not exercising the part of my brain that forms attachments to people. It's probably only going to get worse. It was already a struggle because of all the bullshit partners and friends kept putting me through until I became entirely triggered by physical contact with people on at least two separate occasions... But now even if I wanted to try to make friends again, I can because of corona.

I did not expect it to impact my ability to enjoy and consume media.

I expected to be able to use TV the way I always have, as a way to see faces my brain recognizes as familiar, in a way studies have shown triggers the same circuitry and biochemistry as spending time speaking to friends.

I can't really use it that way if my brain isn't categorizing these characters as being "like friends" the way studies show most people really actually do think of characters they like.

I mean I struggled with not being able to buy into the parasocial and with connections before, but this is on a whole new level. Before I was just weirdly immune to thinking of celebrities and people online as being my friends and was cautious getting close/attached to new people... But I have come out the other side into something that I think might be equally unhealthy.

I have been trying to download and consume new media, find new loves, new fandoms to get into and it just isn't working. I don't think it's because media has somehow gotten worse over the past decade. I think it's me. I wasn't that convincing of a "fanatic" for an autistic person before, and now I feel like I don't even actually "go here" in most cases even when I watched every episode and all supplemental material.

[rubylarkspur22]

Attention Demon Slayer Fans!

Hey, y'all! I am here to rant about one of the worst takes I've seen on Demon Slayer!

Muzan is intentionally sending gradually more powerful demons Tanjirou's way, and hasn't learned to just yeet Kokushibou or Douma at the kid.

If you don't want to read me being ticked at the fools who say this, move along now.

Uh... No, he f-ing isn't? Muzan specifically and intentionally sent a grand total of 4 demons after Tanjirou. Out of the 12(13 if you consider Daki and Gyutarou separate units, and *math noises* 18 if you count all the Hantengu clones as separate units) demons Tanjirou fights before the Infinity Castle Arc. That isn't even half of the demons he fought on-screen! It's a quarter or a third, at most! And again, these are all the demons he faces on-screen!

Demons Muzan sent specifically to go after Tanjirou: Susamaru and Yahaba, Enmu, and Akaza.

List of Demons Tanjirou just happened to come across: Temple Demon, Hand Demon, Swamp Demon, Kyogai, Rui, Akaza if he wasn't sent after Tanjirou, the one demon he fought in episode 1 of the RLD Arc, Gyutarou and Daki, Hantengu.

AKA Tanjirou's just accidentally stumbling across the vast majority of the demons he fights, and those demons happen to be getting gradually more powerful. Muzan didn't even know Tanjirou was in Yoshiwara or the Swordsmith's Village! He just happened to be there! Hell, Muzan did try to do the smart thing by sending Akaza after Enmu got killed! And also by amping up Enmu with more blood and sending him after Tanjirou when Rui was killed! Muzan just didn't think to account for training and Kamado stubbornness! So that failed, and Muzan lost Tanjirou after Enmu died and Akaza bolted because he no longer had a sentient GPS on Tanjirou! Which brings me to another point!

"If Tanjirou keeps killing the powerful demons, why doesn't Muzan just send Kokushibou or Douma?"

Muzan doesn't know where Tanjirou is once his demons are dead! He has little to no way of knowing how much longer Tanjirou will be in an area for, so why send one of his heavy hitters if the guy he's sending them to isn't even there! Especially cuz Douma's running a cult, and it's be awkward if he just poofed him elsewhere in the middle of a thing. Kokushibou's doing dick knows what, but he's just as likely to have a freakout as Muzan is. And Nakime's Blood Demon Art doesn't work in sunlight! Even if it did, the more powerful demon he sent to kill Tanjirou and capture Nezuko after the Swordsmith Village Arc would be a crispy pile of ashes in about 2 seconds(probably less)!

And in the RLD Arc? He clearly assumed Gyutarou was competent enough to handle the situation and Daki had managed to soften Tanjirou up enough to make it easy for Gyutarou to kill him. If not for there being other Slayers(specifically, Tengen, who is a Hashira for a reason and therefore highly skilled and competent) in the fight, Tanjirou would have been dead. Hell, maybe Muzan did think Tanjirou was dead post-RLD. And then the mf shows up in the Swordsmith Village, terrorizing Muzan's cells, and the man was probably cussing up a storm the whole time!

These are the in-universe explanations! Out of universe, Tanjirou is the protagonist and needs to get stronger to face stronger demons. Basic shounen logic(even if the plot armour isn't as bad as some people make it out to be). But anyone who says Muzan intentionally sent five different(and gradually more powerful) ranks of the Twelve Kizuki after Tanjirou is spitting BS.

Remember, we as the viewers have a degree of omniscience. We know where Tanjirou is in relation to these demons. Muzan does not. Therefore, we cannot expect him to act the way we would with our omniscience.

[luthienne]

i wish you the best in your journey forward ... and i hope that though watching you i can convince myself that i'm not a lost cause. i haven't been able to play the piano for a very long time due to nerve damage in my arms. when i do play now, it's slow and clumsy. i hate it. it does feel like an existential betrayal, but my body didn't do this to me on purpose. i think i just have to take it day by day. have the same patience my teachers had with me when i was a child. take care of yourself, and thank you for being open about your experiences. 🤍

i believe with all my heart that you are not a lost cause, that with some time and patience (and limitless amounts of kindness to yourself) that you can make progress in your playing again.

toward the end of my master's degree, i developed a startle response in my voice, in my vocal onset. an involuntary throat constriction that ultimately took my ability to sing, to produce any sound at all. it spread from my auditions and performances until even the thought of my practice began to produce this response in my body. eventually the thought of singing brought me more grief than joy and i lost the desire completely. i felt like a ghost, an imitation of myself because i had no self separate from my identity as a singer/musician.

it's different, of course, from this past year of infections that have affected my body and reduced my ability to sing. but how i have approached my practice is the same: my therapist reminds me that whether it is a self-protective somatic mechanism or whether it is from illness: my body is constantly working to heal, my mind is capable of rewiring neural pathways, and what cannot be healed (or returned to its previous state) can be managed with adapting. either the situation can change, or how i approach the situation can change. approaching my practice with the mindset that i am not here to judge my progress, only to make some progress.

a huge bridge between me and singing was reaching out to some voice teachers who were recommended to me by someone in the classical music world that i trusted. i explained that i was rehabilitating my voice after some time away and once we met in person, was able to explain in more detail what had happened. they were able to approach my lessons in a way that gave me the safety i needed to make progress. i was drowning alone. i don't know if reaching out to some local teachers is possible for you — whether you have the financial stability to spend some extra money every few weeks or whether you have anyone you can trust. but if you can, i cannot overstate how much support it gave me to have a mentor again, to have someone to guide me back.

sending you all my love. i am right here with you in this. and thank you so much for sharing this with me. it means the world to me <3

[aprillikesthings]

ONE MORE TONIGHT because I remember I really like this episode :D

s2 ep5 White Out

will I hit the image limit with this one

EDIT: nope I post it early by accident, which means I have to reblog it anyway.

damn right, and I love how often Entrapta mentions this--that all experiments/research end with you learning SOMEthing even if it's not what you were hoping/looking for

Anyway they're in an icy wasteland of sorts and Entrapta is researching some First Ones' stuff under the ice and also there's some kind of big worm-like monster outside. All before the intro music.

Does She-Ra not feel the cold or what

I refuse to screenshot Scorpia's attempt at asking out Catra it's too painful

I knew it was the same thing that fucked with the robots and She-Ra in Dryl!!

I love how I can remember that this episode is the one where Adora acted SUPER violent and then really dumb and drunk but I couldn't remember WHY

but yeah telling this to Catra was A Mistake

Entrapta: "also she got very floppy"

FLOPPY?!

Side note, but it makes sense Catra hates it up there more than Scorpia or Entrapta; cats have a higher body temperature than humans. But wait, scorpions are cold-blooded? Maybe Catra's just a whiner about being cold. (So am I.)

I mean yeah Catra's being a dick here BUT THEN:

It took me WAY too many times to get that literal split-second of her reaction to Adora's voice before she gets herself back under control. Her ears even do a wiggle.

Look I know they were setting us up for these two to be endgame the whole time. But it still amazes me how much they made it so, SO OBVIOUS in all these little ways they could've skipped and didn't. The little ear wiggle and her tiny moment of shock? They didn't have to put it there, and they did. They could've just made her immediate reaction fury or frustration. But nope.

And we see her eyes narrow in a really close-in shot, like she has to take a second and remember they're on opposite sides, before Catra turns around with her usual cocky expression.

but also look at Entrapta's face lol

I love it when they make her look just a little deranged. Because she is.

I do wonder the extent to which everyone else is like "why are these two so obsessed with each other" (I think people comment on that later?)

HOW AM I JUST NOW NOTICING THESE TWO ARE NARRATIVE FOILS they are, right? right?? or am I just reading too much into both of them having unrequited crushes

Bow: "You don't understand the forces you're messing with!" Entrapta: "I know! That's the fun of it!"

augh I couldn't get the shot of Catra's surprised face

yeah I'm probably gonna go over the image limit on this one

THAT'S NOT GOOD

oh boy

Virus!She-Ra: *tries to hurt her own friends* Catra: "This is the greatest thing that's ever happened" Virus!She-Ra: *hears her, turns around, and runs towards Catra*

BIG MISTAKE

I can't screenshot it, but holy shit you really see the degree to which She-Ra normally isn't trying to actually hurt Catra any more than necessary, because of how violent she is when she's possessed by the virus. Like, this version of her would in fact just straight-up stab Catra or chop off her head or something. Normally She-Ra settles for punches or self-defense--her goal isn't hurting Catra per se but trying to stop the harm she's doing.

But this version of She-Ra? Would do a murder, no problem

that is 100% an appropriate reaction!!

Anyway Scorpia manages to separate her from her sword, and Adora goes back to normal size and not possessed. And is out cold.

okay but did you mean for that to sound so suggestive, Catra? did you?? do you even KNOW??

(...did I just get a plot bunny for the kind of fic that would get me hate mail)

(I've written stuff with a major archive warning before and I could do it again)

speaking of ships eheheheheh

Poor Scorpia is just like "do we have to have your ex around even as a weapon" and is also I think just uncomfortable with how nasty Catra is being

But also Catra's face here is too good

I just imagine Hordak being like, "oh YOU'RE obsessed with the blonde girl, too??? And I thought Shadow Weaver had a problem."

Edit: guess who accidentally hit the wrong buttons on her keyboard and posted it. Anyway continued in the reblog.

[autumnalwalker]

Hi sage

I'm finally sending out blorbsday asks again (I think). Please assign your blorbos to the setting of a book you like and explain briefly (or longly) how they'd fare.

Greetings. This is an interesting one. Goes fairly well with the Empty Names cast since that setting has some degree of world-hopping as canon already.

For the setting to have them visit, let's go with Curtis Cradock's "The Risen Kingdoms" trilogy. Read that last year and rather enjoyed it. For context, the gist of that setting is that it's essentially late middle ages/early Renaissance Europe, but the world is a bunch of floating islands over a seemingly-bottomless sea of clouds traversed by airships and the various magic powers are (mostly) linked to bloodlines and used by the nobility to justify their divine right to rule.

Let's say that this crossover happens after the main events of "The Risen Kingdoms" trilogy, partly because there's some stuff that happens at the end of the third book that would provide a convenient excuse for the Empty Names cast to end up there on accident and in need of looking for a way back off-world. For extra fun times, I'm going to assume that they all start off separated.

Lacuna:

How well she'll fare will really depend on whether this hypothetical crossover happens at the point in time Empty Names is currently at, or some number of chapters down the line after she's finally cracked the secret of doing transmutation magic on herself and has kitted herself with a bunch of custom enchanted items to simulate being a mage.

In the former case, she is going to be, as the old meme goes, straight up not having a good time. It's a 50/50 shot whether or not she would have a translation charm on her at the time of accidental world hop so she might not be able to speak the language of anyone there, she's not going to have access to her HRT medication, the world's got some serious patriarchal misogyny problems going on (although by the end of the trilogy there's starting to be some social change going on to make that better), with those last two points combined she would probably have to seriously consider the prospect of temporarily going back in the closet for safety reasons, would be basically helpless in any sort of physical or magical confrontation, and would probably not deal well with lack of modern technology/amenities/conveniences/hygiene. Depending on where she lands, non-zero chance of winding up either begging on the streets or dead within a week, especially if she doesn't have any ability to speak the local languages.

In the latter case, there'd be some initial panic as she tries to get her bearings and form a plan on how to find the others, and then she'd be having the time of her life being the world's biggest tourist getting super excited by all the local magic and science. Also, by that point she'd be living the trans anime catgirl meme dream and be getting mistaken for one of the nobles that shapeshift into animals, so that helps give her a bit of a leg up on social matters. She might also be able to pass off her various enchanted trinkets as being some of the ancient maybe-magic-maybe-sci-fi artifacts native to that world, up until the church hears about some random person flaunting a small hoard of ancient holy relics.

Ashan:

So, in the setting, instances of magic that isn't directly tied to one of the various noble bloodlines and does its own unique thing do exist, but any time someone manifests it, they are declared to be an abomination by the church, hunted down, and executed. Not a good place to be a wizard operating on an entirely alien magic system. High chance of very quickly winding up on the run from the church, but also decent odds of being able to stay one step ahead for an extended period of time. Might end up finding Lacuna that way once they both manage to become theologically problematic.

Eris:

She doesn't generally keep a translation charm on her person on principle, so that's a problem, but unlike Lacuna she's pretty good a fending for herself and good at quickly learning languages. Could also make for good comedic value if the setting's local fantasy-Spain-with-a-different-name winds up speaking a language that is moderately comprehensible to someone fluent in Earth Spanish. Would result in a lot of "I'm not complaining, but seriously, why is this place just Spain, and why is that other place just France?" on her part. Also, unlike Lacuna, being a towering wall of muscle with superhuman strength and durability as well as an uncanny resistance to magic makes people a lot less likely to mess with her. Would probably find herself a job as a dockworker or something while she slowly picks up the local language and looks for the others, eventually working her way onto an airship crew to expand her search area.

That is, of course, assuming she doesn't first make a scene of beating up a noble for harassing a hapless peasant, in which case absolutely everyone involved is in for an extremely bad time when they try arresting the angry lady who can walk off bullet wounds and grit her teeth and keep punching through soul-flaying bloodshadow sorcery. On the up side, there's a decent chance of this kind of display catching the attention of the protagonist of the book trilogy whose world the party is visiting. And also of catching Sullivan's attention.

Sullivan:

He'd take one look at all the court intrigue and cloak-and-dagger politics, decide it reminds him an annoying amount of the world he was born on, proceed to quickly insinuate himself into high society and become an absolute menace. Of course, his number one priority would be using his newly forged high society and criminal underworld connections to track down Road. His number two priority would be messing with everyone for the proverbial shits and giggles while all the inevitable assassination attempts fail on account of him being very near immortal. Priority number three is finding the others.

Road:

Would set out to find the others, but then immediately get distracted by some random person in need. They'd help that person out, continue their search, and then get distracted again. The cycle repeats until they tick off some noble or another and get the attention of Sullivan and/or the series's protagonist. In particular, reports of the soul-draining bloodshadows not being able to affect them (due to weird ontological issues that Road has going on) would be especially likely to get said protagonist's attention due to her best friend being similarly unaffected (although for fairly different reasons).