#and this makes it seem like i take music so seriously. and to some extent i do

[shiraishi-kanade]

An Shiraishi is always trying to be someone else: a short and messy analysis on how Vivid Street (unintentionally) messed her up

You know, I kind of have my own issues with the "Wishing to the Blue Sky for Your Happiness!" event, but a lot of my criticism of it boiled down to "huh, it's kind of weird how they gave An this insecurity out of nowhere, she didn't struggle with being herself before. Seems to be a reach just so Shizuku could have a role."

But that was before the Vivid Old Tale, and boy I'll admit I was very wrong.

The relationship between An and Nagi are... Very interesting, to say the least.

But there's no doubt that An absolutely idolizes Nagi. Sure, there's been this line about An always wanting to he a musical like her father, but we also know that for the most part, it was Nagi who taught her to sing, as well as Nagi who acted as An's mentor figure in a more emotional way.

In a way, An won the lottery. She was born into a family that loves her, into a community thay loves her, and just so happened to be talented and passionate about something that community values most. However, that talent has left her little to no space to actually... See herself as someone outside of it.

Now, none of this is actually necessarily negative by default. Having high expectations to one's children isn't necessarily bad either; with the right approach, it can make them grow and want to grow. We've also seen this happen with Touya in his childhood, which us another neat parallel.

But, unlike Touya, An has been very comfortable in her role, precisely because of her talent and being able to reach the very high bar raised for her. That comfort just... never made her reach out to something other than the place and the future she was already familiar with, because she never needed to. She was Ken's daughter and she was talented and everyone in town loved her and she promised to be the better than her dad and everyone took her seriously. What else could she possibly need?

In a way, An had her dole cut out to her before she was even born.

And then there's Nagi.

Yes, Nagi is An's role model. But there's more to that than just An looking up to her.

More than just being taught by her, An actually picks up Nagi's mannerisms, forms or speech, and even moral values (pretty much the entire point of Vivid Old Tale).

An saw, too, how much Nagi meant for the people of Vivid Street. She wanted to mean as much for them, too; rather, she already did mean as much, but she needed to be someone to justify being loved. It's not necessarily a conscious thought process but more of a subtle one: if you notice your community loves some traits of you more than the others, or values some aspects of you more, you start to lean more and more into them in order to fit in and be accepted.

For An, those particular traits were being talented, being Ken's daughter, but also... Being very similar to Nagi.

Them acting "like sisters" has been highlighted over

and over

and over again, even by people unfamiliar with Nagi, well into An's teenage years.

And it's not exactly... A complete coincidence on everyone's part. At one point, Nagi openly states she wants An to be like her, to be able to see things from the same perspective. At least to some extent, some of the actions Nagi takes to make that happen are completely deliberate.

So An tries to be like Nagi. This is both a conscious effort on her part and something that just... Is sort of a hidden force that shapes her into who she is. If you watch Nagi and compare even the way she talks with people of the town to the more mature, somewhat-grown up but not quite there yet An we have today... There's so many similarities it's uncanny. An is still much more hot-headed and impulsive, but that caring, considerate side of her shines through even more than before.

An doesn't try to deny or hide that, too. In fact, she's actually pretty proud of it.

(Whether Ken lied to her to make her feel better or if that expression was just a reaction to being reminded of Nagi passing away & the masquerade that followed after that, we'll never know.)

But here's the kicker: there's so much of Nagi in An it's hard to pinpoint where Nagi-san's traits end and An's own personality begins, if it even does. Because of how early has everyone decided on An's future, and because An never did anything to even hint at wanting to do something different (which she didn't! Sometimes people want to continue their family's legacy and that's completely normal and fine - again, she just got really lucky, both with her talent and supportive surroundings), An subconsciously kind of accepted that being like Nagi is... Just who she is.

That comes with taking on Nagi's part in the community, too. In the same way Nagi took care of everyone in town by helping them out at events, so too, does An - just to a much lesser extent, by going out of her way to keep in touch with everyone, going to events, and helping at a cafe, too.

But An doesn't purposely mold or change her personality to be like her role model, too. This is important: An doesn't wear a mask because she doesn't need to. In her mind, she already is like Nagi, or at least, she's on track to be, without doing particularly anything different. Because they're just so similar they're so close and practically behave like sisters, and because An grew up singing in the town exactly like Nagi did, and because she loves the town just like Nagi did - what else could An possibly need to do except get better at singing and get more grown up?

You know, to reach that mature and down-to-earth side of Nagi that we often see in the past?

That side?

Yeah.

Now the Shizuan event's conflict isn't so out of place, is it?

But anyway, back to the point.

Because of Nagi wording things the way she does and because of people on Vivid Street making such a point of their similarities, An naturally assumed she would eventually become like Nagi. This is why, even aside from Kohane's improvement, aside An's abandonment issues, Kick It Up a Notch is a giant slap to the face for An, as well as her wake-up call.

Kohane taking on Nagi's mantle before An was able to, or potentially ever could, isn't just about singing - it's an attempt at An's entire sense of self, just as well as her place in the world, and on the smaller sense, her hometown, too.

Because if An is not Nagi, she doesn't belong.

Because An never knew how to do anything but sing. Because becoming like her family, like Nagi, was the only option she ever imagined for herself ever since she was a child.

And if An is not Nagi, then who the hell is she?

[this post was very much inspired by @the-one-that-weeps 's An analysis post, who kind of put this much more eloquently than I could! Go check them out.

All translated lines that aren't taken from the wiki transcripts are by lozybug on YouTube!]

[nichoskittycorner]

Country Living (Cow hybrid!Eujioo smut)

>> In a quiet rural village out in the countryside, you enjoyed your peaceful life with your recently adopted cow hybrid, Euijoo. A sweet, innocent bean who could do no wrong and loved the soft things in life. Until his body starts making him learn just the extent of what he is capable of-

>> cow hybrid!Euijoo, sub!Euijoo, bondage/ tying up, oral/hand jobs, penetrative sex, overstimulation, cum collection, somno, multiple orgasms, creampie, "dick milking", lactation, he got a dick piercing, fluff to smut, humping, breeding kink, once again if I forgot anything please just tell me-

Word count: 5.5k

A/N: So this turned into more than I thought and yet I still have more ideas but cow!Euijoo is my darling and I just may write more for him I seriously love him- Also huge thanks to Gremlin anon for making this super cute banner based on the farm hybrid quartet ( More on them all later)

   Living in the busy city was all you had ever known. The sound of the streets, the smell of cars and people, the never-ending energy in the air. 

  It could be overwhelming to those not used to it or who just aren't built for the lifestyle. And since you were born into it, you were sure it would be all you ever knew. That was until your plans changed drastically in one night.  

  After a tiring work week, you and some friends decided to head out to the club to celebrate. Everything was going smoothly as you guys drank and danced to your heart's content. 

   Exhausted from the never-calming dance floor, you slipped away to relax at the bar for a bit. There you came across an almost shell-shocked-looking man. 

  Well not just man, he was a hybrid. All you could make out were his fluffy ears and horns sticking out from his fluffier hair. He was hunched over, his tail held tightly in his grip as his other hand shakily held a drink. 

  He looked scared and the drink was doing nothing to calm him down. As you got closer, you noticed his large eyes staring unmoving into the counter. You don't know what pulled you to sit next to him but you did. 

  Maybe it was the alcohol that made you a little brave but you rested a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, a strange sound leaving his body as he looked up at you.

  Oh wow, he was just adorable! His large eyes coupled with rosy cheeks, perfectly soft and smooth lips, and a button-like nose. 

  Giving him a reassuring smile, you leaned in close so he could hear you over the loud music. "Hey, are you okay?!" 

  He looked around before shrugging, avoiding your eyes the whole time. "Do you… want to get out of here?" 

  The cute stranger's eyes lit up. His ears wiggled slightly at the suggestion before an even louder song started playing, making him cover his ears. That was all you needed to see before taking him by the arm and dragging him out back. 

  Pushing past sweaty and drunk bodies, couples doing what couples do, and those who would rather be home. You brought him to the quiet back alley behind the club. 

  He wasted no time in leaning against the wall, his body slumped against the brick surface and slid down as his legs could no longer carry him. His tail drooped as he caught his breath. 

  You sat next to him and started to pat his head. Running your fingers through his soft curly hair to calm him down. And it seemed to work better than you thought. His head falls into your lap in no time, his tail swinging in content.

   After some time, the stranger spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get into your space." He sat up, rubbing his neck and he burned red. 

  "Hey don't worry about it. You clearly were uncomfortable inside… And your hair is soft so I liked it too." 

  Soon you both fell into casual small talk. You exchanged names and numbers as time passed. You learned his name was Euijoo and he was a cow hybrid. He originally was from the countryside but he ended up moving to the city as a kid since the adoption agency he was with changed locations.

 Since he was never adopted, he had to support himself. Meaning getting a job in the city which he hated. Working in a factory and living in a small apartment. He hated how loud and smelly the city was. He hated the factory and its long droning hours. He hated how crowded and suffocating every corner of this place felt. 

  Even though you were a city girl, you were determined to help him. And it wasn't just the alcohol talking as once you sobered up, your resolve didn't fade. 

  The two of you got close over time, you picked up extra hours at work, made arrangements and before you knew it - you officially adopted him and moved out together. 

  Heading to your new home in the countryside together. It was quite a drastic change. Your entire life flipped on its head all because of a conversation at a club. But you and Euijoo had come to be super close and you loved him. 

  So of course uprooting your whole life for him wasn't a crazy idea. Especially when you got to your new home and saw how he just lit up. 

  His face beamed with joy as he ran around, his tail swinging erratically to express what his mouth couldn't. Running up and down the field to your home and even rolling around in the grass. 

  It wasn't perfect yet but it was a start to what you envisioned. This life would be so different from what you were used to. The first night was so quiet you couldn't even sleep. 

  Euijoo noticing your stress, took you outside and you both lay in the grass together to look at the stars. And you were glad he did. The breathtaking view would be something you never forget. 

  No longer did the night sky look like a dark blanket, but was decorated with the countless stars that hung in the sky. It was like a new world had been opened up to you. 

   Memorized by the view, you both decided to stay out and look at the stars until you fell asleep. Thankfully Euijoo brought you back to bed so you weren't covered in bugs waking up. 

  From there you had to learn the heavy ins and outs of rural life. Working on a local farm for pay, chopping firewood for cold nights, paying bills the long way, cooking most meals. 

  Thankfully Euijoo was there to help every step of the way. However, things like building a fence and barn house could be left up to contractors. Euijoo was happy regardless. 

  He spent most of his days glued to your side. But he occasionally found himself in the barn house when he was having more "cow-y" days as he put it. You weren't quite sure what it meant but if he was okay then so were you. 

  After you both fell into a routine, things started to relax a bit. You knew the route to the village, you could start a fire on your own, and just everything in between. 

  One day, you woke up bright and early and needed to get some produce from the market. Euijoo was still fast asleep so you didn't want to bother him. 

  So taking your basket and heading out on your bike, you went into town. The morning air was crisp and refreshing as you peddled along. Taking in the open fields and beautiful scenery as you made it into town. 

   It felt odd not having Euijoo by your side. His large frame pressed up against your body, holding hands with you or wrapping his tail around your waist. Maybe both at once. 

  You never realized how clingy he was until he wasn't here with you. Not that you hated it, he was so warm and cuddly. He made you feel safer without realizing it. Before you knew it, you arrived at the market and started your early shopping.

   As you were daydreaming about your soft cow friend, the quiet morning was shattered. A loud wail echoed throughout the air- also mixed with a 'moo-like' sound. 

  People were trying to calm the situation but it didn't seem to help. Normally you would stay away from commotion but you couldn't help your curiosity. 

 Turning up to the scene, you felt your heart drop. Euijoo was a mess- disheveled, with tear-filled eyes, and thrashing around violently all while he was tied down by the villagers trying to stop his rampage. 

  Only then do you notice some destroyed stalls and people bruised up. Had he, done all this? 

  Dropping the basket in your arms you ran to his side and cradled him in her arms. Tears ready to burst from you as well. "Juju?! What happened?!" 

   A group of villagers tried to explain that he just came through on a rampage. Freaking out, destroying things, and even accidentally causing injuries. 

 You were barely listening as you were more worried about Euijoo. Freeing him from his binds so he could hug you properly. 

  Everything else was a blur after that. All you know is that you went home after apologizing and cuddled up with him. Saying sorry to Euijoo for disappearing and making him panic. 

  Over the next few days, you stuck by his side. Never letting him go and apologizing nonstop. Any little second you were gone, he freaked out. It ate away at you that you didn't have any idea how to help. 

  Over that time, one of your neighbors gave you a gift. A collar with a bell on it. At first, you were confused but Euijoo seemed elated. Asking for your help to put it on before ringing it. Turns out, it would help him with remaining calmer and the bell would help locate him if he ever needed you. 

  Of course, you would have to customize it a bit to make it more for you both but if he was happy, so were you. Especially when you would hear that happy little bell in the distance running up to see you. 

   At first, the sound would spook you when you'd hear a random bell in the distance but you relaxed upon acknowledging that it was just your sweet Juju. And how could you not hug him and ruffle his hair, watching his tail wag ecstatically? 

   The two of you lived a sweet and quiet life together. The seasons came and went and you were always happy to have your sweet cow friend by your side the whole time. 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

   Euijoo was nothing short of the word innocent. The type to roll around in the hay bales and play with butterflies rather than get his dick wet type. Especially for his age, it was almost amusing. 

  You assumed maybe it was because he never went into a mating cycle or possibly couldn't due to his city living but that sounded unlikely. He was just a late bloomer. 

  The only somewhat possibly scandalous thing he does is suck on your fingers. But it wasn't in a horny way. He did it mostly when scared or trying to wake you without being direct.

  Mostly because sometimes he would just do it because. When you would cuddle together, if your hand was unoccupied or bored, he'd plop himself into your space, take your hand, and place your fingers in his mouth.

  Never biting, just sucking. Leaving your fingers a little sore and covered in his spit. Luckily he was kind enough to always clean up that mess. 

  But as you were mostly asleep after an exhausting day, you felt Euijoo take his place next to you on the bed. The mattress sank slightly with his weight as he took your hand into his mouth. 

  Usually, he was quiet, sucking in silence or making minimal noise. Unlike now where he was moaning lowly and panting. His tongue moved around your digits with a desperation you couldn't understand in your sleep-clouded mind. You were too tired to question him, just allowing him to do as he pleased. 

  His long legs wrapped around your thigh, pressing his hips into your squishy flesh, and started to grind down. Just what was he doing? 

  Little did you know just how bothered your sweet Juju was. Having spent all day suddenly too hot to handle. His body was burning up and he didn't know what to do. At first, he was sure he just needed water or an ice bath. 

  All those failed. Using a fan, ice cream, even going for a swim. After that aforementioned swim, he finally felt just how strained in his pants he had been when trying to put them back on. So much so that it hurt him. 

  Instead choosing to settle on wearing a large shirt that fell past his knees and nothing else for the day. It hid his bulging dick well but that's also probably because he spent all day in the barn to avoid bothering you. 

  But as night fell and he was still struggling, he had to see you. You always had all the answers to help him! 

  He was disheartened to see that you were asleep and not responding when he whispered for you. Going to his go-to comfort when you couldn't give him attention and started sucking on your hand. 

   And even if it was just the slightest bit, he finally felt some relief. An unconscious moan rumbled through him as his eyes fluttered closed. His legs moved and ended up holding your leg down.

   Grinding his hips against you and gaining only more relief the faster he moved. Tears of relief started to run down his face. 

  But this wasn't enough. He needed more. He liked what he was feeling but some part of him knew there was more. 

  It was like his mind had shut off and his body just acted. Sitting back up and letting your hand fall out of his mouth. Large shaky hands pushed up your nightgown to expose your bare chest and soft nighttime panties. 

  Euijoo was both shocked and intrigued, unable to look away. A hand reaching up to squeeze one of your soft breasts, amused by the shock it sent him. 

  They were like pillows! And seeing your sleepy body arch up into his grip, only encouraged him to play with them more. Burying his face into them and snuggling in comfortably. 

  A mix of a moo and a whimper fell from his lips as he basked in the sensation. Opening his eyes to realize the bud of your nipple was standing firm. His curiosity led him to poke it, before massaging it in between his fingers. 

  The effect from his touch earlier seemed to double as you started to let out moans the more he did it. At that moment he realized, that he liked those sounds you were making. 

  So much so that he was reminded of his throbbing dick and whimpered. His hips started to move, unknowingly grinding against your covered cunt. 

  The small wet spot on your panties grew as your hips bucked up. How you hadn't woken up or said anything yet confused him. 

  Although he didn't dwell on it for long. Now getting lost in the scent of your arousal, his eyes moved down to your panties. There- that's where he knows he'll get his relief. 

   His hands were still unstable as they pulled your delicate panties away and tossed them aside. Fully exposing your wet pussy to him. 

  Mouth watering, eyes dilated and his ever-hardening dick practically drowned him. Finally, he pushed up aside his shirt to expose his dick. 

  He never thought much about his dick. Just that he had it and a long time ago he got it pierced over a stupid night out trying to blend in with some coworkers and make friends. That and sometimes it hurt, sometimes it was sticky and to not get hit in that spot.

 He didn't ever think it would be the driving force to this spiral or this pain. But he was stuck wanting it to feel… not like this. So shaking the thought from his head, he ever so gently let the tip touch your core. 

  The heat and wetness nearly had him fall back in surprise but he pushed forward. Making contact with your clit before sliding back down through your soaking folds. 

  And he repeated this process, pumping his hips up and down gaining speed and strength to chase his high. Coating his cock in a layer of your wetness as he went. 

  His hands held you down by your hips as his legs started to shake. He was so close he just knew it! His head spinning as the world around him muffled out. All he wanted was to finally get that relief. 

  So muffled were his thoughts that he didn't realize how loud his groans of pleasure had become, how harsh he was thrusting, nor the sound of his bell ringing out. 

  In it all, you finally woke up fully. Confused and dismayed by the sight of your sweet Juju making a mess of you both. "Juju? What are you doing? Stop it!" 

  But you should've been able to tell it wouldn't work, even as you grabbed his wrists to get his attention, he didn't respond. Especially not when his hips started to stutter. 

  "Y/n… hmm, wanna feel good, please-" His eyes remained closed as his head fell back. Whimpering and sputtering nonsense as his cum shot out, covering your stomach, and your folds in his seed.

  Huffing and smiling as his tail wagged in content. Finally, he felt good. He didn't hurt like before. Well not as badly as before. His dick was still hard but that was a start. 

   Only when you gripped down harder into his wrist and called his name did he finally realize you were awake. "Juju! What have you done?" 

  Meeting your eyes, he suddenly felt guilty. Your face confused, upset, and distraught. "I… I'm sorry Y/n- I dont know what happened…"  His body burned with embarrassment as he let go of you and scooted back. 

  You sat up and sighed. Clearly, he was feeling guilty but you weren't mad. Just confused about how you ended up in this situation. Without much thought, you ran your fingers into his hair and pet him. 

  His tense shoulders relaxed and his head leaned into your touch. "M'sorry… I just, it hurt a lot and I don't know what happened." Pulling up the shirt to reveal his still-hard cock. 

  If he wasn't your sweet Juju, you know you'd be mad about this. But he really must have just been confused and desperate to do this. 

  You sat up a little straighter and stretched before standing to your feet. "Stay here Juju. You clearly want help but you don't know what to do, huh?" 

  He nodded, his ears flopping so innocently as he did. You placed a kiss on his cheek before pushing his messy hair back so you could look into his eyes. "I'll help you Juju. But since you did something naughty, I'll have to punish you too. But you'll feel very very good." His tail wagged as he nodded. 

  "Good. I'll teach you what a safe word is first and foremost." 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

   You didn't know what led you to think of your masterplan but you quickly put it into motion. Heading out to the barn and grabbing some ropes and a bucket before heading back in. 

  As you explained what a safe word was, you removed his shirt, tied his wrists together, and connected it to the headboard before tying his ankles to the bed posts, leaving him spread open. 

  "There. Now since you want help so badly to the point you won't ask, I'll have you help me with something. Let's see if you can fill up this little ol bucket here-" 

  Euijoo gasped and squirmed. There was no way he would be able to pull it off. "W-wait how?!" 

  "You can do it sweet boy, you're a cow aren't you?" Your hand trailed up and down his body slowly, nails dragging along his skin and causing goosebumps. 

  He nodded weakly. "Good boy." Your lips placed soft kisses along his neck. Biting down slightly as your kisses got bolder. Licking his sensitive skin as a free hand played into his hair. 

  Grazing against one of his horns and making his jump. Somehow this is something you have yet to really try. His horns were always sensitive so you avoided touching them. 

  Well, this was a time for exploration- You ran your fingers along his smooth ivory horn before gripping it more firmly. Moving your hand along the length as his jerking him off. 

  And it must've felt that way too with how much he was moaning and thrashing the longer you continued. His hips jerked and twisted as he begged for contact. 

  "Ah, that must feel good, doesn't it, my sweet boy?" Euijoo nodded as his face burned. Removing your hand from his horn and going to his already leaking cock, you moved the bucket closer. He was obviously close. 

  Running your finger along his slit, coating it in his precum, and playing with the silver barbells of his piercing. The contact practically sent him over the edge as he whimpered and came again. 

  But you were prepared, aiming his cock towards the bucket and collecting the white liquid that shot out. "Hm, impressive Juju. Are you able to continue?" 

  Although he was breathing heavily, he nodded. You smiled before adjusting the ropes, setting him on his knees but with his hands still constrained. 

  You couldn't help but admire him like this. His face was so cute and soft, eyes needy and pleading for you. But his body, bound and shivering, was ready for your touch in the most intimate ways. 

   Straddling his lap you moved the top of your nightgown down, exposing your chest to him. "You like these right? You seemed pretty curious about my breasts earlier." 

  He blinked rapidly as his eyes flashed between your breasts and your eyes. It was clear he wanted to touch but couldn't with bound hands.

   You didn't want to make your sweet Juju wait. Especially as his eyes seemed so focused even after having two orgasms. Pushing your chest forward, and pulling his head down, you smothered him in your breasts. 

  His tongue hung out of his mouth lazily and licked and sucked on your skin as you gripped his cock. Pumping it slowly as you pushed further into him. Now it was you rubbing your wet cunt against his length and enjoying every second of it. A shiver wanting to come out anytime the cool metal of his piercing made contact with your hot core. 

  You wanted to slip him inside of you and just fuck him until you were both stupid. But you had to take your time with it. Because once he came inside and filled you, this whole 'punishment' would end. 

  So you would resist your urge and continue to stroke him. In a way, it was kinda cute watching his hips buck into your smaller hand just to get some contact. And when his dick started to leak again, you replaced your hand with your mouth. 

  Taking him in full until your nose touches his waist. Swirling your tongue around and gagging slightly when the metal piercing hit the back of your throat. But you would persist. 

  Bobbing your head up and down on his length with expert technique. Clenching your throat and hallowing out your cheeks to increase his pleasure. It seemed to be going according to plan as his hips jerked up and fucked your face. 

  Spit starting to cover your cheeks and your jaw cramped. You were thinking of maybe pulling off soon but he stopped you. His tail wrapping around your throat and holding you down. 

  Was this a cheeky attempt to keep you still or maybe his brain starting to cloud up from his pleasure? Your thoughts were interrupted as his tail squeezed down, making it harder to breathe but even you were enjoying this. 

   Your hand snaked down your body, landing on your wet folds, and started to rub circles on your clit and dipped into your folds. Covering your fingers in your juices as you dipped a finger inside. 

  "Hmm, Y/n– smells so good-" Oh you forgot he could smell that… and it only made you more wet. The thought that even your scent was tempting him and making him unravel urged you to continue. 

   Moving your fingers faster and moaning around his cock, the salty taste getting stronger. It would've been so easy to give in. Just stay and taste him. Give you just what you wanted. But again, you pulled away and jerked him until he came, adding more to the collection. 

   And so this process continued, you played with him and made him cum over and over again. Filling up the bucket and practically milking him dry. And just when you thought he'd start shooting blanks, still his seed would flow. 

  You both probably lost count of how many times he came by now. His body just shaking as he cried and pleaded for it to stop. That he had no more in him and that he ached. 

  " Y/n it hurts…no more-" 

  "Are you using the safe word?" 

  And every time he would go silent and shake his head. Sure he was being punished but you wanted your sweet boy to know he was still safe and could stop it at any time. 

  But alas, he would just moan and ask for your fingers so he could suck on them again and continue. And to your surprise, he eventually did it. Filling up the bucket with his cum. This was both impressive and turned you on. 

  You praised him and kissed him all over his face. "Good boy Juju! You did it, which means now, you get a reward. Do you think you have one more in you?" 

  He nodded weakly as you untied him. Kissing his wrists and massaging them. He rested his head on your shoulder to cuddle you. "Don't get too comfy yet Juju." A chuckle left you as your finger stroked his cheek. 

   His tongue poked out and licked the finger touching him. He was clearly so fucked out he could barely think. His fluffy ears wiggled in contentment. 

  You couldn't have predicted he would be hit with a sudden second wind- grabbing you by the wrist and pinning you on the bed. The sudden change knocking the wind out of your lungs. 

  He wasted no time tearing off your nightgown and attaching his lips to yours. Taking you in an unexpected but heavy kiss. Grinding himself against your core. He moaned into your mouth, using his tongue to push into your mouth. 

  Wet, warm, and an unknown sweet taste heavy on his tongue. And you indulged in every second of it. His tongue explored your mouth with expert movements like it was his own hand. Drool running down your chin the more intense the kiss became. 

  That is until a large hand gripped down on your breast, causing you to gasp in surprise. His other hand presses you down by your hip to hold you still. 

   His mouth reconnects with your breast, sucking on your nipple and massaging the other. "Mhh, wonder if you can make milk, probably sweet and tasty~" 

   Your mind started spinning at the thought. How would that even happen?! And yet, the thought of having Euijoo latched onto your nipples and sucking on them like his lifeline unlocked something in you deep down. Something that made you quiver and wetter. 

  "But humans are different, need to make you a mommy first." His hips jerked against you, rubbing his shaft against your folds like before. 

  You didn't know if he was serious but it stopped being an issue. You wanted him, needed him to fill you up and get you pregnant. He continued to mutter such lewd promises against your breast.

   As far as you knew, he was a virgin, the type to know nothing of sex and it could explain why he hadn't just fucked you senseless yet. That or he was teasing on purpose as payback. 

  But he quickly proved you wrong when his hand on your hip moved down to his needy cock, lining himself up with your tight hole and pushing in. Filling you up in an instant. 

  Your hands grabbed his shoulders as he pushed his full length in. Your tight soaking folds hug his cock with a vice grip. He whimpered as he bottomed out, sighing in true relief as he remained still for a moment. 

  In this moment you tried to get a handle on your senses as he stretched you to your limit. Sure holding him in your hand and in your mouth was one thing but you never took the time to fathom just how girthy and big he actually was. You could've sworn you could feel him in your throat from here. 

  His strokes started out slow but he quickly abandoned that. He must've still been so sensitive from earlier as he already was thrusting hard and deep into your cunt, the bell around his neck ringing loudly with each movement. 

  Anytime you tried to speak it dissolved into moans and your tongue seemed to stop working. Especially when he learned the power of positions and pushed your legs further apart to fuck you deeper. 

  You were convinced he would’ve cum already but no, it was you that was shaking and pleading for more as you covered him in your arousal. 

  Perhaps it was the shock that had you break so quickly. He had flipped your expectations and now he was playing your body to his will. 

  Your hands shot out and held him by his horns, making him freeze for a second. He was both now, hornier than before and still so close to making a mess of your walls. But he had to continue. You felt too good to just stop. 

  And he was going to do well by his promise (or at least try). His hips snapped back into their pace of ruthless fucking. And it was driving you mad because he was somehow so cute and so hot right now. 

  Holding him close to you by the horns so your bodies were pressed together but he was still burying himself inside of you. You clenched around him without thinking. 

  "Y/n… hm so close. Gonna fill you up, promise…" Fuck he was too cute! He was ready to burst as he twitched inside of you. And he was only bringing you closer to your own orgasm as he played with your body. 

   "Juju, don't stop, please, fuck-" Your bodies tangled and melted together. Your legs wrapping around his hips to keep him buried inside you. One hand still massaging his horn and the other trailed down his down and started pinching at his nipple. 

  Whatever compelled you to do so, you were grateful because he nearly broke in an instant. Increasing his movements your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave. Your body was overcome with pleasure as you clenched down on him again and cried out his name.

  Pulling him into a kiss- that little extra contact sending him over the edge as he covered your walls in his thick seed. Filling you up so much you knew it would spill out the moment he pulled out. 

  But Euijoo didn't stop shaking so quickly. His eyes shut tight as a warm liquid leaked down from his chest. At first, you were convinced it was drool or tears but no. It was white. 

   When he finally came down from his high, he collapsed onto your chest. Nestling his head into your neck as he caught his breath. A string of whimpers resounded into the quiet air. 

  "Juju… are you okay? What is this?" You were still curious about the liquid as you played with his hair. He muttered lowly as if only half listening. "It's milk…" 

  A blush spread across your face as he lazily held your hand and pushed it into your mouth, making you taste his milk off your fingers. 

  "Is it good Y/n? Do I taste good?" Euijoo smiled lazily as you nodded. His tail wrapped around your leg and he took your fingers into his mouth again getting ready to drift off to sleep. 

  "Wait, Juju you still need to pull out-?" 

  "Nope. I said I'd keep my promise. I'm making you a mommy." 

  Clearly satisfied with his statement, he closed his eyes, put your hand back in his mouth, and fell asleep. Leaving you to ponder how your sweet Juju even had this, all this, in him the whole time. 

[theerurishipper]

The biggest truth that solves all plot holes in Miraculous: they’re bad writers.

No excuse of this being a kids show works because if you want to be not held accountable for holes then fine act like SpongeBob

but you can’t have everything

Yeah. I didn't give a damn about the "plot holes" in Seasons 1-2, or even Season 3 to some extent, because those were mostly monster of the week type of episodes. Sure, there were some semblances of plot and world-building, but it was still mostly episodic and the show still mostly focused on being goofy and entertaining, so I turned of my brain and enjoyed it greatly.

But then Season 4 came along and tried to change the tone of the series entirely, from being a monster of the week to having an actual plot and overarching story, and proved that the writers for the show don't really know how to do that? And then they started digging their holes deeper and deeper and made so many baffling decisions in the writing that the show just turned into a huge mess, full of unresolved plot points, underdeveloped characters, convoluted storytelling, and many unfortunate implications.

And it's like you said. If the show wants me to take it seriously, I will. I'm going to look at a show for what it is. When the show was presenting itself as a goofy episodic show to entertain kids, I judged it as such and I enjoyed it, because Miraculous is good at that. I loved Seasons 1 and 2. Season 3 less so, because it started The Plot™, and it wasn't good at that, but I still enjoyed a lot of it. But Seasons 4 and 5 came along and demanded I take them seriously, so I did. And they weren't good, because the writers aren't good at that kind of storytelling. They're good at goofy shenanigans, but not at complex plots and characters.

And "it's a kids show" is not an excuse. Kids shows can explore complex subjects and can have great plots and characters (ATLA). But it still has to be, you know, good. Kids aren't stupid. I know that kid me would have also hated the Season 5 finale, because Adrien is my favorite, and he wasn't there, and they made Marinette lose.

But at the same time, this is still a show for kids. Miraculous is a kids show, and therefore, it has the responsibility to not promote harmful messages. What would an abused child who is in a situation similar to Adrien's think when they see him call Gabriel a hero in the finale and say that he doesn't know if he'll ever be like him? Children aren't stupid and incapable of understanding anything, and they do deserve good quality of writing, but they also aren't capable of complex media analysis. And when you see people making these long-ass posts talking about how the finale is actually not what it seems like, actually, you have to consider the target audience. A kid isn't going to be picking up on the deep and nuanced hidden meanings in Gabriel final moments that prove he hasn't changed. They are going to see Gabriel hugging his wife, smiling and surrounded by pretty and warm lights while beautiful music plays. If we have to write all these long theories justifying the ending and trying to suggest that what was obviously portrayed on the screen isn't what the show is really trying to say, is a kid really going to get it?

Which is why you see so many people saying shit like "aw Gabriel was really a good man," or "he was never the villain." These people are probably like, 12–13 year olds, and they are watching a show meant for kids. And as a kid, I'm not going to like that Adrien wasn't in the finale, sure, but does that mean I'll understand that Gabriel is supposed to still be a bad guy when the show tells me to my face that he isn't?

It's not like the show can't deal with complex and nuanced characters. I myself have written many character analyses and have treated these characters as complex and nuanced, and they could have been. Again, look at ATLA. Zuko, for example, is a very complex character, but he is still brought to life in a way that allows kids to understand all the nuances and subtleties in his story clearly. There is a lot of rather complex symbolism, but the kids get the jist of it and can understand his story well, even if they don't catch all the minute details. Hell, take Azula. The show doesn't shy away from showing her doing bad things, but it also makes it blatantly obvious that you should feel sorry for her in the end, and that she's also a victim. Again, kids can understand this.

And that's where Miraculous falls flat. The writers fucked up their message. They wrote some deeply problematic stuff, where the abuser won. The bad guy won, but he was actually a good guy. So, people who act like Gabriel maybe aren't all that bad. What Gabriel did in the end was good, and we should all try to be like him. Kids aren't going to question it. In this way, "it's a kids show" goes from being an excuse to being a problem. It's what it says on the tin, and what's on the tin is not good. That's how I feel.

Thank you for your ask!

[fitzrove]

41, 47 and 48 for the ask 😊

41. Share an unpopular opinion about musical theatre.

Translations are FUN AND GOOD because they give us more content to chew on!!! In Finland especially there seems to be a pathological fear of translations among some musical fans (this was a frequently mentioned worry online re: the new amateur production of Heathers - the translation was excellent and people noticed that, but it's annoying that they were surprised every time) and to some extent I get that because we have a few very bad translators/lyricists actively working rn JSKDKDL. But yeah, overall I think people should have a more curious relationship to translations! Some of my favourite ones are Finnish TdV (naturally), French Elisabeth (!!) and German Evita (Kunze popped off ksksks).

47. Is there a musical that you looked forward to seeing that disappointed you? Why did it fail to live up to your expectations?

The only show I've walked out of midway through (at intermission) was Something Rotten 😭 I don't like Finnish outdoor summer theatre humor and there was a lot of that going on dkslls, and I think comedy musicals can be hard to get right in general. (Not a blanket criticism - one of my fave shows is The Producers and the prod I saw in Leipzig early this year nailed everything!). Also I dislike when there are too many ballads and all the ballads in Something Rotten are bland and forgettable 😭 I had seen some viral clips of Christian Borle as Shakespeare and he was great so I was expecting similar antics, but the unnamed beloved (not by me I don't know him kskskd) musical performer playing him in Finland that year was sick that day or something and his vocals were super off 😭 My dad and I drove 5 hours to see that show btw so it was extra disappointing hahahah.

48. What's the worst musical you've ever seen? What made it so bad?

It's either Something Rotten or ÅST (Turku, Finland) Dracula (2022) kdkdlsls. I'm really discerning and don't take risks with shows much (I will try to make sure I'll enjoy the experience and won't force myself to go if I know I won't have fun) but I assumed I would like Dracula (I like vampires!) and it was just a lot of very repetitive songs, too much talking, #deep messaging that fell flat, and not enough theatricality even when it could've been added and made things great (I did love Dracula's brides in this prod but they should've been allowed to do more...!). Idk, it took itself too seriously in places I wished it hadn't, and didn't take itself seriously when I thought it would've made sense. Also I had recently watched the Wildhorn Dracula proshot and was comparing them unfavourably in my head ksksks. Like, Wildhorn Dracula is flawed, but it has solid songs and the 2007 (?) proshot cast is extremely star-studded and everyone is giving their all lmao.

[londonspirit]

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Let's start with Izzy's death. Did you always plan to kill Izzy off this season?

DAVID JENKINS: Yes. It feels like the logical end of Izzy's arc. It's heartbreaking to me because he's my favorite. They're all my favorite because they're all my kids, but Izzy is very near and dear to my heart. The season was kind of built around [the idea of]: What's the best journey we can give him? And what's the most interesting thing we can do with Con, who can do just about anything?

How did Con react when you laid out Izzy's storyline this season?

I told him in the middle of shooting because I didn't want him to find out at the table read, obviously. I also didn't want it to leak. He was lovely about it. I called him and said, "Let's get a bite to eat," and he said, "I'll need cake!" We had dinner, and I gave him a cuddle, and he took it pretty well.

A lot of these characters have evolved over two seasons, but it seems like Izzy has gone through one of the biggest evolutions. He went from being so dismissive of the others to being a key part of the crew. What interested you most about his arc?

You know, I didn't expect him to become kind of a father figure to Ed. I think we hit on that while we were breaking the [final] episode. He's in such a weird position: He's like a jilted lover, and then he's a middle manager who has to work for a terrible boss. He gets thrown away, and then he comes back. He really develops, and he becomes a part of this family. I think the biggest surprise was the extent that he was a mentor to Ed. They were both Blackbeard. They both made Blackbeard happen.

What do you remember most about filming Izzy's death scene?

That was one of the last things we shot. As we got closer and closer to it, I could see it weighing on Con. It's hard: This is something we both made together, and his character is gonna die. He was taking it really seriously. Then, when we were shooting, I made him a playlist. I asked if I could play him some music, and I did, and we sat there and we watched Izzy die.

I also wanted to ask about the scene where Ed and Stede reunite on the beach, fighting their way back to each other through hordes of soldiers. How did you want to approach that sequence?

We have a wonderful fight and stunt coordinator, Jacob Tomuri, and [director] Fernando Frias laid out how he wanted to shoot it with [cinematographer] Mike Berlucchi. With this show, we're basically making a one-hour show on a half-hour budget and schedule, so we really have to pick our shots. But the location was just unreal. Everything in New Zealand just looks amazing. We were driving to a different location to scout the lake where Blackbeard tries to be a fisherman, and it was like, "What is this?" It was this giant black sand dune that seems to go on for miles. We were like, "Oh, we have to do something here."

The episode ultimately ends with a happy ending for Ed and Stede: They're starting an inn together on land as their friends sail off to new adventures. Walk me through why you wanted to give these two a happy ending.

With this season starting so dark, I kind of wanted to reward them for the work that they've done and the character growth that they've had. I wanted to leave them in a place where they're really going to try and make this work. I don't think it's going to be easy for them, necessarily. They're both still immature. But after the death of Izzy, we have a wedding, and it feels like we have the kids taking the car, driving off while the parents watch from the porch. It felt right to give them something to balance the loss of Izzy, where neither of them is going to run. They're both saying they're going to commit to each other, and it felt like the best place to leave them this season.

That makes sense. So much of their story has been about running away: Stede running away from his family, them running away from each other. This is them deciding not to run away.

And I don't think it's going to be easy. I think the day after that scene would be very hard. But they can try.

You mentioned the wedding between Lucius and Black Pete. I know that pirate weddings and civil partnerships were a real thing from history. Why did you want to end on that moment?

We knew we wanted a matelotage in the second season, and pretty quickly we landed on Lucius and Black Pete. It seems like they were ready for that. We made up a ceremony and everything, where they call each other mateys, and it was just fun to make our own version of a pirate wedding ceremony. But they really did have this phrase "matelotage." It was a formal process for relationships between crew members. It just seemed very sweet to see that they wanted to take that step together.

Last season ended on a cliffhanger, but this season ends pretty neatly, tying up a lot of loose threads. This could work as a series finale. Do you know if the show is getting a season 3, and are you already thinking about where this story could go next?

I mean, we'll see. We'll see if it makes sense for them to make a third one. We have a lot of ideas for a third season, and there's a lot more story to tell. But if it's not in the cards, I just wanted to leave Ed and Blackbeard in a good place. Instead of seeing them get punished for following each other, I wanted to see a moment where they're alright. And it is just a moment: I think a relationship is going to take a lot of work for them.

But it felt like a good place to end the second season. It felt like a contrast to the first season. If it turns out we don't make any more, I'm comfortable with that being a resting place.

You're leaving the door open for more — but if this the end, you're okay with that.

I mean, the Revenge is now being captained by Frenchie, and I think Frenchie's Revenge would be an interesting place to work and an interesting ship to be boarded by. And Ed and Stede, they're in the early 30s part of their relationship. Emotionally, they're going to move in together and start a business. I think there's a whole other story to tell about what happens when that relationship gets more mature. How do you make that relationship work? It's not just happily ever after. You have to work at it. And that's a story I'd like to see.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

[idol-emu-otori-official-archived]

╰┈➤ SHUFFLE AU

DESTINATION POINT (DP)

the Leo/need adjacent unit, composed of Ichika Hoshino, Airi Momoi, Ena Shinonome, and Minori Hanasato. ☆ a girl who's lost her friendships, and three others searching for their worth.

about the group's name: ♡ originally, i had "from here to there" in mind, but someone from the Discord gave me the name "destination point" and i thought it was much better, so i went with that. ♪

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Train SEKAI. no one knows when it left, or where it's going - just that it never stops. it's the perfect place for those who feel like they're lagging behind. just close your eyes and let yourself be carried away, right? but maybe there's something you can do… starts with a Miku and a Rin. the former's hardworking and talented, but the latter struggles - Rin is somewhat influenced by Ena's (and, to a lesser extent, Airi's) jealousy towards others.

•

Ichika hasn't managed to rekindle her friendship with her friends, and she's not doing particularly well. At one point, she meets Airi - who just quit being an idol. The two start talking and become friends, at which point they end up forming a band together. Airi wants to try finding a place where she could finally be taken seriously.

Ena's invited by Airi, and Minori - who had failed auditions recently - ends up inspired by Ichika's kindness, Airi's drive and Ena's determination, which is how she joins. (Haruka completely gave up on being an idol; something Minori is saddened by.)

In my mind, Ichika plays the guitar; Airi, the drums; Minori, the keyboard and Ena, the bass.

-

IDEAL HEAVEN! (IH)

the MORE MORE JUMP! adjacent unit, composed of Mafuyu Asahina, Emu Otori, Mizuki Akiyama and Shizuku Hinomori. ☆ an up-and-coming idol group that combines cuteness and sophistication.

about the SEKAI: ♡ quite similar to the Empty SEKAI, but with some idol influences - a broken stage with no one in sight. there's no bright lights, no colorful props. nothing. that SEKAI both comforts and pains Mafuyu. home to a lone Miku. sweet, hopeful, but genuinely crushed by the pressure she's feeling.

•

Mafuyu's mother wants a perfect child. idols are very frequently represented as being perfect - so, she decides that her daughter should become one, too. Mafuyu's not keen on the idea, but that's her mother; she's obedient, so she goes along with it.

Shizuku still quit Cheerful * Days, but instead of stopping altogether she ends up with Mafuyu. Emu wants to make people smile, but no one ever came; Wonderlands × Showtime was never a thing. so she decides to become an idol instead, even if it means she'll never bring back the Wonder Stage to its former state.

Mizuki's half-dragged into IDEAL HEAVEN! by Emu, who saw them looking with interest at idol merch. after bringing them to meet Mafuyu and Shizuku, Mizuki ends up accepting - the idea of wearing cute clothes and being called cute doesn't seem too terrible.

-

READY MADE SUCCESS (RMS)

the Vivid BAD SQUAD adjacent unit, composed of Haruka Kiritani, An Shiraishi, Shiho Hinomori and Akito Shinonome. ☆ two street musicians chasing after their dream, and the two girls they brought with them.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the Street SEKAI. weirdly, it seems Haruka's idol background has somewhat influenced its appearance. its inhabitants are Miku, Meiko and Len. this Miku is levelheaded, but it seems like there's something holding her back from going all-in...

•

after quitting being an idol, Haruka is invited by An to join her.

An's never met Kohane, and she never found a partner. Haruka is hesitant for a moment before deciding to give it a shot, though she keeps struggling with singing. Shiho tries getting more experience, meets Akito. no one really knows how these two ended together, but they both have a similar drive and take music very seriously.

eventually, they all start working together. Haruka deals with her guilt and, while she doubts she'll become an idol again, she's mostly made peace with what happened.

-

STARLIGHT ☆ EVERMORE (S ☆ E)

the Wonderlands × Showtime adjacent unit, composed of Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Kanade Yoisaki and Toya Aoyagi. ☆ a strange troupe of people who aim to help others through their performances.

about the SEKAI: ♡ still very much Tsukasa's, so it's the Wonderland SEKAI. [kanade goes there for the first time and dies. alas, they're still a shut-in and this place is simply too colorful for her poor eyes.] starts with a Miku and a Kaito, though this version of the former uses far less onomatopoeias.

Tsukasa figures he needs to show the world how much of a star he is himself, and he drags his siblings into it (with varying degrees of willingness).

a part of Saki still wishes she could be in a band with her friends; she's only somewhat managed to repair her friendship with Ichika. but she's still happy to do something fun and lighthearted after all her struggles. Toya's very excited to do something with Tsukasa and his siblings. he also gets to stick it to his dad, which, honestly - is a bonus.

out of the three, Kanade is obviously the most hesitant about the whole thing. but she sees Tsukasa's drive to make others happy, something she shares with him, so she ends up agreeing. Kanade is… slightly healthier physically on account of the stubborn people looking after her, as well as all the exercise she does she does as part of Starlight ☆ Evermore. mentally? eh… we'll get there. i need her traumatized to be interesting. <3

-

LONELY SYNDROME (LS)

the 25-ji, Nightcord de. adjacent unit, composed of Nene Kusanagi, Rui Kamishiro, Honami Mochizuki and Kohane Azusawa. ☆ hidden behind avatars, these citizens of the web tell stories online.

about the SEKAI: ♡ the arcade SEKAI. this Miku is shy and withdrawn, though she one day hopes she'll be able to break out of her shell, just like Nene. alongside her is Luka - she has a bit of a teasing attitude and a catlike personality, but she always does her best to boost Nene's confidence.

about the group's name: ♡ syndrome refers to a group of symptoms - i paired it with the word lonely because i felt like it represented the atmosphere of an arcade. you're connected with people who share your interests, but at the same time, you're sort of separate from them. surrounded by people, but utterly alone…

•

Nene's social anxiety hasn't gotten better over the years. since she never joins Wonderlands × Showtime, she doesn't learn how to fight her stage fright.

but, she finds an alternate solution; using an avatar online. it's less stress-inducing, and it lets her pursue acting, in a way - it's not what Nene wants, but it's close enough. she figures she could be satisfied with that. Rui ends up figuring out what she's doing, and asks if he can help. Nene doesn't really have any reason to say no, so they start working together.

as for Honami and Kohane, they ended up on Nene's channel by pure accident. but her performances quickly became a comfort to them, since they were struggling at the time (the former because she no longer had her friends, the latter because of her lack of confidence).

unfortunately, ignoring your problems only goes so far, and eventually, her feelings give birth to the arcade SEKAI.

[dearweirdme]

Can I ask your opinion on Jungkook and Chaewon from lesserafim? Prior to enlistment, he would interact with a lot of tiktoks involving her, and he would quote her often. Which I could see why some people found it sus, but I kinda just brushed it off as him being a fan(?)

But recently, there's this insta account claiming they're dating. This account is the one who leaked the video of jungkook at the gym with that girl. She has always been a bit wishy-washy about jungkook (shes tae biased). Sometimes she alludes to taekook being real, and other times, she talks about jungkook being with girls. Lately, her posts seem to be alluding to taekook breaking up and jungkook being with chaewon. I didn't really believe her because part of me feels like she's just saying it for attention... but just now, I saw that lesserafim gave song recommendations and chaewon recommended 'yes or no' by jungkook and 'the way things go' by beabadoobee. Which coincidentally Jungkook recommended that same song on his apple music playlist. 🧍‍♀️ And now I'm here kinda second guessing things.. 😅 what do you think? Is it a stretch??

Hi anon!

So, I don’t know the account you mention.. but in general I do not believe a fanaccount has actual knowledge about the guys private lives and real friends of them (people who would know) would never post about it. So imo accounts like that are either in it for attention or for trying to make the guys look bad (slander). Neither of those options I take seriously. We’ve seen this awful Taennieisaflop account last year (no clue if they still exist) and they were so full off bs but a lot of people actually started to believe them. I think there’s a lot of accounts like that.

I think the Jk Chaewon thing is hugely over-exaggerated. Yea there were some indirect interactions, but it seems very much on the ‘friends’ side to me. I absolutely don’t think Jk would publicly mention her like that if there was something going on for real. They’re both under Hybe. Lesserafim has done TikTok’s with members. I think they probably mingle and support each other and that’s the extent of it. Him engaging with her content makes me believe there’s nothing there. Jk knows what happens when he engages with others in public, he wouldn’t shine a spotlight on them if they were together.

[exsqueezememacaroni]

«I think that to a certain extent because he is very cautious about his personal life, he wouldn't want people to know about his sexual orientation, so it makes sense that he has trouble coming out publicly. but even with this theory I can't believe that he is 100% gay, and I don't have much basis for this argument other than in some interviews where he either seemed to be flirting with the women that was interviewing him or he kept checking them out... apart from a few other issues of a more personal nature that involve his marriage: for example, I don't believe he would dedicate an entire album to a friend or learn their native language just out of consideration and friendship. So I think that in some way he feels sexually and romantically attracted to women too, but I don't know to what extent this is more common in relation to men. because as I said, I don't believe he is 100% straight, so I think he is somehow attracted to the "male figure" 😂»

Can I answer Anon too? I wouldn't put much weight on how Mike behaves during the interview. It may seem like he's flirting with the interviewer (male or female). But we all know what a joker he is. He doesn't like doing interviews, he's often bored, so he trolled the interviewers. He just liked to embarrass people to have fun. It's just childish. I think people who don't understand him take all the stupid things he says and does seriously, at the same time they don't believe him when he tells the truth. As for Mondo Cane, I agree that this project was more of an homage to Morricone. Also, the fascination with Italian music and all things Italian started before Mike got married. It was a shared passion between Mike, Trevor and Trey. As we know, Trevor and Trey have musical backgrounds, and in college they studied 20th century classical music, including Morricone's music. And аt least Trevor was a big Morricone fan. I think Trey and Trevor instilled their knowledge in Mike, as Mike said he was fascinated by his friends and how much they knew about music.

As we know, Trevor and Trey have musical backgrounds, and in college they studied 20th century classical music, including Morricone's music. And аt least Trevor was a big Morricone fan. I think Trey and Trevor instilled their knowledge in Mike, as Mike said he was fascinated by his friends and how much they knew about music.

This, I love this so much like....I love that feeling of getting really into something because someone you love and trust and admire loves it, and then it becomes a bigger part of your life - I'm so happy for the idea (and hopefully the truth) of Mike having so many of those things with Trevor and Trey both. Like....they found each other in that bumblefuck town (affectionate).

But also ya, I hear on the above...I mean, I do kind of hold that there is a small part of the true him also in those childish comments and whacked out stories, but just like....through this super interesting, aquarius, strange creature brain filter? Like it's not the truth in this earthly sense but....he's saying true things about himself nevertheless?

[beevean]

It's probably been said before but the biggest issue with IDW sonic is that it treats itself so dang seriously. It never comes off as an over the top thrill ride, like any other sonic story. Even in the most garbage hilariously edgy sonic stories, there's some level "we're just trying to be cool so enjoy the ride lol" IDW sonic on the other hands comes off like it's actually trying to make you feel bad/rethink your life and it fails horribly. There's no excitement to be had with idw sonic.

Very true in regards to the biggest arcs such as the MVA and the Imposter Syndrome arc. It's bonkers how they both tried to have this big morality debate painting Sonic as a flawed hero, but done in a shallow, OOC manner that can be excused with "wahhh go read adult material if you care so much 😭". No genius, nobody asked you to write a whole 20 issue arc about a serious, edgy, gritty, depressing zombie apocalypse that hinged on the moral dilemma "should have Sonic killed an amnesiac Eggman?".

To be fair (not that I'm in the mood to be after #63, but oh well), they seem to have thankully dialed down the edginess, and both the city arc and... whatever this new arc is are much more down to earth and slice-of life. In fact, the city arc, which sounds serious on paper, is complete fluff and only serves to establish the new Diamond Cutters.

They aren't good by any stretch of the imagination, as they're rife with terrible character moment that enraged me to an embarrassing degree :P but at least they don't take themselves so seriously. Now I wonder what's gonna happen when Surge and Kit rejoin the fray.

As for the games, that's one of my biggest gripes against Frontiers, and to a lesser extent '06. Frontiers is nothing more than an excuse plot à la Generations (Sonic has to save his trapped friends), but takes itself so damn seriously, with the voice acting and the music and the pretense that it's actually giving those characters development, ignoring that said development is either old history (Tails and Amy) or completely out of nowhere (Eggman). '06 has some cute, genuinely heartfelt moments (the beginning and ending of Sonic's story, the heart-to-heart between Shadow and Rouge), but most of the story is told in a flat, stilted manner, and the story very much wants to come off as a complex epic.

shth keeps being the superior game because it's so damn goofy it's impossible not to laugh along the ride :P

[untilteddocument]

So I've Been Thinking About: Guilty Gear, Johnny, and Masculinity

Welcome once again to So I've Been Thinking About, a journal series where I talk about things I find interesting or appealing about various pieces of media, often video games. This time, I'll be talking about-

Yes, indeed, trio of Japanese actresses, I'll be talking about Guilty Gear, the fighting game series/magnum opus of Daisuke Ishiwatari. Specifically, I wanted to talk about someone who just made their big debut to Guilty Gear Strive's playable roster.

The Words Of The Man Who Never Fails

First off, obvious part out of the way first, the song is excellent. It has that rollicking good time feel of a really good bar song, the kind where everyone is invited to sing along.

There's probably a lot in the song, musically speaking, that goes entirely over my head because I'm not educated in music theory or the technical aspects of music, and there's plenty of musicians on Youtube doing reactions and analyses of the soundtrack that would do a way better job of that than I would (please, 12tone, Charismatic Voice, I'm begging you both, check the soundtrack out, it's great). Rather, I'm here thinking about the writing and what it says about the character.

Folks in the comments have noted that, to my own great interest, Johnny's theme is unique among the current roster in that it's not being sung from his perspective, but rather it's an over-the-top brag being sung about him by someone else. Usually, the soundtrack's character themes are deeply personal statements from each character, an apotheosis of who they are and what they keep closest to their hearts. It's how we are given tidbits like Testament's exultant affirmation of their identity, Leo's well-hidden survivor's guilt, I-No's feelings of emptiness and depression, and so on.

So, what about Johnny?

The whole song is very cornball in that earnest way that makes it cool, very Devil May Cry in that respect. "The guy who was hated by the god of failure" as an epithet is so goofy, so comically badass that it circles back around to being kind of amazing, and crucially, it's not taken seriously enough to blunt that. It's not growling menace or grim power, but pomp and bombast with a wink and a grin. The song, and by extension the character, are having fun with this.

And that's why I think he's doing drag.

Truth Is Always Born In The Mind

First off, a disclaimer. I'm versed mostly in what I would consider the basics of drag, in that it is a hyper-gendered performance put on by people having fun with self-expression and exploration, typically men putting on hyper-feminine drag queen personas and women being drag kings doing the same in the other direction. My analysis was made from this platform, and I'm not sure how much it holds up to scrutiny from folks deeper into the community. Apologies, I'm doing my best with what I have. So yes, back to Johnny.

I noted that there's a lot that's over-the-top about Johnny's front-facing persona, like he's very "manly" to a comical extent. He's given to ultra-suave affectations; his longtime Japanese voice actor, Norio Wakamoto, used diction and tone that indicates that he is trying very very hard to be cool. Likewise, as his song states, he constantly tries to build up his own legend, but he never seems to be invested in people taking it seriously.

This is what led me to my realization that Johnny is essentially doing ultra-masculinity as drag. He's a man dressing up as a bigger, more powerful man (cowboys aren't exactly unpopular in this respect either), and crucially, it's not out of some hidden shame or trauma that he feels he has to compensate for. Certainly, nobody really buys it, and he has no problem with that. He just really likes putting on the image of this smooth invincible folk hero.

Note: there are other wrinkles in his portrayal that aren't covered by this, chief among them the typical Japanese portrayal of Americans as brash loudmouths (affectionate in his case) and a subject of comic relief in comparison to a more sober Japanese straight man (in the comedic sense). I'm not quite sure this applies to Johnny as much as it does to Chipp Zanuff, though, but that context does exist.

He Doesn't Talk About Fake Love

One could try to draw a connection between Johnny's posturing and the kind of toxic masculinity championed as manliness, but I believe it would be spurious at best. The biggest indicator of this is that Johnny has a terrible track record as far as sexual conquest. None of the women in the playable cast give him the time of day with the notable exception of May, whose affection for him is somewhere in the realm of a lingering childhood crush for her best bud.

Just as importantly, Johnny doesn't take that seriously. He doesn't stop flirting, but he never expresses that he feels entitled to reciprocation. He also doesn't get mad at people who don't buy his shtick, so there isn't a sense that he sees his legend as a vector for deference under the guise of "honor" and "respect".

Hell, historically, people who have a positive long-term relationship with Johnny don't have it because of his persona; they have it because under all the bluster, he's actually a decent man. More than a charming rogue and inveterate flirt, he's a man who dedicated his life to helping war orphans and the poor. He is a bit of a clown, certainly something of a troublemaker, but when the chips are down, he wants nothing more than to be a compassionate person who can inspire smiles just from people hearing about him.

And for folks who think that he ought to be bowed and scraped to, his song offers an alternative:

Just Lean.

[dustedmagazine]

Greg Saunier — We Sang, Therefore We Were (Joyful Noise)

Photo by Sophie Daws

As ¼ of noisy indie-rockers Deerhoof, drummer Greg Saunier has decades' worth of experience in frenetic music as fun as it is difficult (if not more so). Across hundreds of other recordings, he's hidden himself away joyfully. Now, with the encouragement of his bandmates, he finally has his own solo outing, We Sang, Therefore We Were. Deerhoof fans won't be surprised by the sound here — it plays much like you'd expect a side project from the band to do — but they will likely be taken by Saunier's multi-instrumental prowess and songwriting glee.

The album comes from restlessness and anger, but more than anything, Saunier's wry playfulness comes through. He's witty and funny and while some of these lyrics may push toward the absurd, there's a deep seriousness running through the album, which stops just short of being a full-on concept record. Much of the record considers our relationship to the earth, or how we think about either ourselves or the natural world. Single “Grow Like a Plant” takes a somewhat comical look at the topic, suggesting that humans (and animals) aren't inherently more special than plant life. Saunier sings, “Meate only thinks it thinks” [sic], highlighting the feeling that we don't really know what we know.

As much as the album can sound wild at times, Saunier's deep thoughtfulness (unless he only thinks he thinks) repeatedly comes through. In “Not for Mating, Not for Pleasure, Not for Territory,” Saunier sets himself up as “the 500-celled creature, 500-celled creature / I am not, I am not / No 499 creature, no 501 creature.” With that phrase, he oddly posits himself as the simplest multicellular integrated organism (happily an algae and not “meate”). At that stage of development, he can play, cry and shriek, but Saunier the artist can also undermine the whole work by adding, “Goes the song ironically.” The whole enterprise of We Sang, Therefore We Were seems to undercut any sort of epistemic stability we might think we have (in which case singing outclasses thinking, because only extent beings could have sang).

All of this destabilizing comes through a musical approach not dissimilar to Deerhoof's, which makes sense. There's a manic sense of time and jagged guitars, but clear melodies run through the songs. He plays with classical music to end the record and digs into musical theory elsewhere. His own comments suggest a mix of Nirvana and Captain Beefheart, a goal he achieved. Ultimately, though, the record isn't only about theory or deconstruction, but about the joy of playing this music and of the epiphanies art can lead us to. “Playing Tunes of Victory on the Instruments of Our Defeat,” before swinging toward classical, challenges us to pause in the chaos and take stock of how we live (whether animal or vegetable). Saunier may play with irony and misdirection, but he sounds earnest when he sings, “So when you say goodbye to someone / Do you ramp down your love till the adieu? / Or, do you treasure every last moment? / Doing things healthy, fun, and rewarding?” You might not want to be meat, and you might not know if you can think what you think, but you can always sing, and you can always find the rewards in whatever this life is. Saunier blasts along to help his listeners do just that.

Justin Cober-Lake

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23/03/2024 (V of BTS and... Mark Knopfler?)

It’s a short week, largely to prepare for what chaos should be coming the next, but right at the top, Benson Boone clenches his first ever #1 with “Beautiful Things”. I know pretty much no-one who cares about pop music on a deeper level likes this song, but hey, if I’m the only person happy about this other than Booner Boy himself, I’ll take it. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Given our few new songs, we also only have a handful of notable dropouts to start with, so we’ll bid adieu to the small but decent selection of “Could You be Loved” by Bob Marley & The Wailers, “Angel Numbers / Ten Toes” by Chris Brown, “My Love Mine All Mine” by Mitski and finally, “Disconnect” by Becky Hill and Chase & Status.

As for what’s back, we see returns for “Asking” by Sonny Fodera and MK featuring Clementine Douglas at #73 and, sigh, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #68, and then a spattering of gains. Our most notable boosts are for “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #59, “Wasted Youth” by goddard. and Cat Burns at #58, “We Ain’t Here for Long” by Nathan Dawe at #55, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna featuring Clementine Douglas at #54, “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by a bestiary of enemies to good taste at #50, “Green & Gold” by Rudimental and Skepsis featuring Charlotte Plank and Riko Dan at #43, “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #34, “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli surging high and fast up to #23 thanks to her releasing an album that includes a pretty great remix of the song featuring Cardi B and SZA, and then “Austin” by Dasha at #15, “Lovers in a Past Life” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man at #14 and finally, making his way into the top 10 for the first time, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #10.

Our top five this week consists of “End of Beginning” by Djo at #5, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #4, “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé at #3, “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande at a new peak of #2 off of the debut, that could grab a week at the top soon, and of course, Benny Boone at #1. Now for our four new songs, which feel like names picked out of a hat and placed onto the chart.

New Entries

#60 - “Been Like This” - Meghan Trainor and T-Pain

Produced by Gian Stone and Grant Boutin

This is a joke, right? Or a soundtrack to a reality television competition, or daytime talk show? T-Pain has grown into his role as wholesome cuddly media figure surprisingly well and a collaboration with Meghan Trainor, whilst demonic, seems to be the best way to seal that position, with this being the lead single for her next album��� Timeless. Well, that’s one thing to call your music. Mean jokes aside, hey, T-Pain is here so at least there’ll be some genuine, not as obnoxious charisma? Well, first of all, it’s electro swing, so my first instinct is to step away from my laptop, keel over and die, especially when Meghan starts to singing about how she keeps it juicy and then eventually that she’s “still that bitch”, as if she was ever that bitch to begin with. There’s something so cynical about Trainor’s vocals that I didn’t notice just the true extent of until T-Pain came in with an infectious call-and-response and weirdly-mixed but fun-extruding harmonies that almost would convince me on the entire song if he didn’t have to play to Meghan’s lack of personality, especially when placed against each other in the bridge. T-Pain can sell this as some goofy cartoon clown, but it probably wouldn’t charted without Ms. Trainor, who brings pretty much nothing to the song other than taking it a tad too seriously, despite the fact that there’s no reason, lyrically, for this to even be a duet. Also, Meghan, I’m not sure you can even sing the line about GRAMMYs in T-Pain’s verse on the account of you only have one.

#52 - “Never be Lonely” - Jax Jones and Zoe Wees

Produced by Jax Jones, Mark Ralph, Neave Applebaum and Tom Demac

I actually really like Jax Jones’ producer tag, it’s cute and rhythmic, has a little stutter to it. It’s nice. I have to say more than that, don’t I? I have to acknowledge Zoe Wees’ voice being misued and manipulated to just sounding characterless, I have to acknowledge how this heavily interpolates the drop from “Rhythm is a Dancer” by Snap!, one of the best Eurodance songs ever despite some… regrettable lines. It spent six weeks at #1 in 1992, blocking off Jimmy Nails, Freddie Mercury, Luther Vandross, Janet Jackson and of course, “Ebenezer Goode” by the Shamen from the top spot, before reappearing in remixed form in 2003 and 2008, reaching the top 40 again both times. “Never be Lonely” doesn’t work as an update of the song because of completely different lyrical content that I actually hate, asking someone to tell her how it feels that she’ll always be there for them, it’s really patronising and weird. It doesn’t work as a reimagining or reinterpretation because it goes for the same tone, and doesn’t adopt or adapt any of the original lyrical conceits. The one thing it does have is a Cascada remix. Yes, that Cascada. I have no idea why, but it exists.

#18 - “Going Home” (Theme from Local Hero) - Mark Knopfler’s Guitar Heroes

Produced by Guy Fletcher

Oh, so I guess this episode really will get as serious as cancer. This one might take a while to explain. So in 1983, Bill Forsyth wrote and directed Local Hero, a highly-acclaimed comedy drama that is actually former US Vice President Al Gore’s favourite film. Its soundtrack features a five-minute instrumental piece known as the “Theme of the Local Hero”. I’ve never seen the film so I don’t know how exactly it appears or makes sense within its narrative but I do know it has far transcended its origin. “Going Home” was the first single in Mark Knopfler’s solo career and has become a staple in both his and his band’s live performances, as well as becoming another theme, now for Knopfler’s home football team, Newcastle United. It’s probably the most lukewarm take of all time to say that “Going Home” is a beautiful piece, it honestly gives me goosebumps from its transcendent new-age introduction and excellently distant sax from Michael Brecker, that eventually transform into a very 80s-sounding but still profoundly triumphant jam that emulates the feeling of a journey in the UK pretty well. Maybe that’s what the film’s about, I don’t know. It peaked at #56 in 1983, whilst Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was #1 - good week for rock epics, I guess.

If you know Knopfler from anything, it’s likely his band Dire Straits, one of the few important British rock bands that hit #1 in the States and never back over here on the islands - their #1 is of course “Money for Nothing”. The legacy of Dire Straits is not something tangible for me or that I’ve ever really understood, their sound was varied and evolved through what was ultimately a very short career. They’re not a legendary act but are still big names and incredibly well-connected, especially Knopfler, who has played and produced extensively for many artists and soundtracks. In January, Knopfler sold over 100 of his guitar and amp equipment at auction and in March, he’s compiled a charity ensemble to cover “Going Home” in support of cancer awareness.

Its status as a charity single is the only possible explanation for why this nearly 10 minute instrumental piece even touched the charts let alone the top 20, but it is stuffed with big names, from rock icons like Brian May, RIngo Starr and Joan Jett and newer cats like Sam Fender and Orianthi to genuine oddballs like Keiji Haino and head-scratching inclusions like, uh, Brad Paisley, who I will only ever remember for “Accidental Racist”. There are over 60 musicians on this record and damn near all of them contributed through their guitar playing, other than Ringo on drums, The Who’s Roger Daltrey on my favourite, the harmonica (that you can barely hear at times - Daltrey’s harmonica should be put to better use), and a few others. You can tell that Fletcher and Knopfler did their best job to try and collate recordings that were clearly from different times, places, equipment set-ups and audio qualities, but this is still basically a meandering pile of guitar overdubs that lasts longer than some full EPs and doesn’t really let you register any single guitarist as them playing. The collectiveness of it may just be the point, to show a united front against cancer or what have you, and there’s definitely a lot to appreciate if you’re an in-depth fan of guitar playing or a guitarist yourself, of which I’m not. I will admit, this is genuinely impressively easy to sit through for how lengthy it is, largely because of the dexterity on display, the fact that the melody of the original “Going Home”, even when developed on in the many ways it is within this piece, is still so infectious, and also because it comes out of not just cynical philanthropy but a genuine passion for the guitar as an instrument. The cover art is a Sgt. Peppers parody of the musicians standing in front of a famous guitar shop in London, and the wide array of musicians from a lot of different genres, eras and even techniques shows how wide and universal this feels an appreciation of the guitar… but I’ll say what my dad always said about Dire Straits (because, really, dads are the only people with viable Dire Straits opinions): “it all becomes much of a muchness.” My favourite of theirs is “Walk of Life” by the way, it’s so goofy. Love it.

#14 - “FRI(END)S” - V

Produced by Connor McDonough and Riley McDonough

V is the latest of the BTS boys to release a solo English single, seemingly leading towards a solo career like Jung Kook, with credits stacked full of Anglophone pop songwriters and production from the McDonough brothers that results in a very serviceable pop song that I’m not sure would get much attention outside of the fact that it’s a BTS member, hence why sales jacked this one’s chart position up so high. It’s not a bad little song at all, in fact I like the distorted guitar lick and the amount of emotion V shows in his vocals despite all the effects, he has a real unique texture against the slodgier indie drums and the infectious bed of harmonies in the pre-chorus. The one way I could see this getting big organically would be that fun albeit gimmicky chorus that makes this an anti-climactic friend zone anthem, though the gimmick wears off after the second time and doesn’t really develop into anything new in the second chorus other than some pretty gross, reverb-drenched spectacle. I usually wouldn’t give this manufactured bedroom pop much more of the time of day but there’s not much in the way of obnoxious performance or toxic lyrics here, it’s just that it really could be any other vaguely bitter male singer’s song. The first most obvious comparison is Joji due to their vocal textures, but Charlie Puth or Lauv could have easily made this work too, though probably not as well as V does here, especially not Puth. God, that would be horrible. Thank God for BTS that this song was never offered to Puth (not that he’d accept a song he didn’t spend 20 hours writing and producing himself, of course). Ugh, enough Puth talk, let’s end the episode.

Conclusion

God, this was not a great week, huh? Even if I’m not fussed about the new version, the composition of “Going Home” makes Mark Knopfler and friends get a lock for Honourable Mention, and it really does end up as the song with the most - if not the only - human passion in this selection. Worst of the Week goes to Meghan Trainor, surprise, surprise, for “Been Like This” with T-Pain, and that’s all. Future, Shakira, O-Rod, Tyla, Hozier, Headie One, Artemas, Cardi B, Lil Nas X, Bryson Tiller, they could all hypothetically show up next week and it would be a big one, so prepare for that and who knows what else? It’s 2024, anything can chart. As for now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Cola Boyy but we go on and I’ll see you next week!

[bybdolan]

do you think that taylor is, to some extent, overrated? because i personally think she’s a great artist and she’s certainly a big deal in the western music industry but i really don’t think she’s as good as music magazines like rolling stone and obviously her fans make her to be… she’s talented and certainly a hard worker but…

idk i just think musically she can be very inconsistent. in the sense that in the span of just 2 years she can go from making a record like folklore and evermore, which are amazing and definitely her best work, to making a record like midnights, which i think is a consensus that it is pretty mediocre… at least outside of the swiftie bubble and certain music magazines who seem to think that everything she puts out is flawless… idk lmk what you think lol

I do not think she is overrated AT ALL and I think some of the reviews she receives are overly positive and feel biased. On the other hand, other reviews are biased in a very negative way. All of these things can be true because she is a polarizing artist.

I also think it's important to consider that these very positive reviews are a fairly new phenomenon: While Taylor has always received good reviews, it took a while for people to take her seriously as an artist and many early day album reviews could be snarky or dismissive of her talent. I think because of her undeniable impact and power and because of how closely perception of her music is related to her public persona, it is tough for people to be truly objective when looking at her work - if true objectivity is even possible in music criticism. I actually feel for her in that regard because it must be a frustrating position to be in lol :I

I personally agree with your assessment of Midnights, and I do think there are many artists who do certain things better than her and receive less overwhelmingly positive critiques because of their lower position in the pop stratosphere, but ultimately, Taylor IS incredibly talented (other artists may do certain things better, at least in my opinion, but she is crazy good at a plethora of things which makes her catalogue astonishing) and hardworking and has had an insanely diverse and impactful career (that will no doubt continue to branch out into different territories!) and so some part of me does feel like she has simply earned it. Not to mention that Midnights is still a pretty decent pop record that lyrically is miles above many other mainstream pop albums released right now.

[pesterloglog]

Cronus Ampora, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 5308

CRONUS: wvell vwell wvelvlw...

MEENAH: ...

CRONUS: GLO8ES.

MEENAH: wha

#38?

CRONUS: i sawv you vwalking my vway, and i had this smooth line all ready to go.

CRONUS: but for some reason i decided to open it vwith a tongue tvwister?

CRONUS: vwery nice ampora, starting your killer line with three consecutivwe 'W' vwords in a rowv.

#W's are hard #theyre hard and no one understands #(V's too)

MEENAH: what uh

MEENAH: was your killer pickup line goin to be

MEENAH: or should i ask

#no

CRONUS: sigh, nevwer evwen MIND, its so ruined nowv.

#just nevwer EVWEN

CRONUS: i just sawv you strutting in my direction, vwith all of your impressivwe moxy and confidence, for the first time in, howv long?

CRONUS: and i got a little excited. i vwas going to blowv you out of the vwater vwith that line, but, i guess nothings changed?

MEENAH: guess not

MEENAH: sounds like youre still the bard of tries too hard

CRONUS: oh, nice. you alvways knewv howv to tvwist the fork.

CRONUS: actually, all you girls are quite adept at tvwisting your respectivwe utensils.

#utensilkind

CRONUS: the guys too, now that i think about it. can i ask you a question? why do all you pretentious scenester types enjoy being so cruel to especially sensitivwe and artistic people?

MEENAH: so i take it even after a billion sweeps here with a boat load of eligible spook shorties to mack on

MEENAH: you still never got any action

CRONUS: first you tvwist the fork, then you use it to pry into my personal life? thats really just so svwell of you, meenah.

CRONUS: vwithout commenting specifically on that, (because seriously, VWHAT? so rude), i vwill say that it gets vwery frustrating after the first fewv epochs trying to make heads or tails vwhat people are evwen LOOKING for. i mean, in ANY quadrant.

CRONUS: nowv, please don't tell anyone i said so, but you and i both knowv pretty much all these people should feel honored to go out vwith a guy like me.

CRONUS: vwhat being royalty and all, and not evwen slightly put off by dating dowvn on the spectrum. i mean, really, howv much more evwident can i make it to evweryone that im really a cool, progressivwe, easy going dude, vwho doesnt take the social order seriously or buy into any of the stereotypes? first of all, as if the hemospectrum scene isnt 8EYOND played out.

#you should be sticking your fork in THAT

CRONUS: i barely EVWER evwen bring up my high social status. it couldnt be LESS of a big deal to me, but i think people maybe are still intimidated by it? theyre probably putting me on a pedestal, in spite of all my easy going assurances that my royal lineage is something i nevwer evwen think about. like, no friend, i am just like you. vwe laugh at the same jokes, listen to, vwell, to some extent, the same music...

#i at least USED to listen to music you like #does that count?

CRONUS: all these cats and kittens, im telling you. theyre alvways drawvn to the freaks and rejects. you havwe to be 8ROKEN in some vway to get a little concupiscent attention.

#cats #kittens #freaks #rejects #broken

CRONUS: they nevwer seem to givwe the time of day to a guy vwhos sensitivwe, and listens to people, and sticks to his poetry and music, and i guess... just someone vwho tries to be there for them.

#sensitivwe #listens #poetry #music #there for them

CRONUS: hovwevwer, the bright side of my vwarious rejections is that is has helped me craft a privwate list of people vwho are objectivwely fucking terrible, vwhich id be happy to share vw...

CRONUS: meenah? vwhered you go?

CRONUS: crud, she vwalked avway vwhile i vwas saying stuff.

CRONUS: really blewv that one in record time.

[mermaidsirennikita]

The true crime here is how TJR uses infidelity as a plot stick to beat almost all of her main female characters with. Carrie Soto, Camilla, Daisy, Nina. I did like how in the show, Camilla said peace out until Billy went back to rehab and (crucially!) for therapy as part of his treatment. Also this will be controversial but neither the show or the book really understood the nuances of addiction, particularly substance abuse. The show just showed a bunch of Daisy being a pixie girl and hoping around, the book made it seem like Billy’s willpower keeps him sober even though the stats show that about 50% of addicts relapse within of year of sobriety (high for substance abuse), and this would’ve been doubly true in the 70’s if Billy got no additional therapy and support treatment. Also, in recovery communities, what Billy did in the book is still considered relapse, not almost relapse. I do think TJR also had a very Hollywoodesque, surface level understanding of addiction.

I would agree--and I didn't mean to imply that Billy taking a sip isn't a serious issue, sorry about that! It's just nowhere near the extent of what he did on the show, and I think that his trigger just felt much more... real, than what occurred in the show. The fact that Billy relapsing in the book was connected to Teddy's death expanded his emotional range in the way the show just wasn't interested in. Not everything was about being torn between two women and being into drugs and alcohol; a lot of it was about his issues with his own role as man and his lack of a strong male figure in his life until Teddy came along.

Personally, I know a good number of addicts, and I don't know anyone who hasn't relapsed, so it does seem unlikely to me that Billy never would again, if not, of course, technically impossible. For the sake of a book, I don't think that I needed to know every minute of Billy's life after the band broke up. Do I think the Billy of the book would have gone to therapy, ever? Nope, I sure don't. And I don't think I would've wanted him to, tbh. He still needed therapy at the time of the interview; that's part of why he was a compelling character to have interviewed. He couldn't come to terms with everything he did. He was a loving husband and father, and he was also deeply damaged and self-loathing. Both of those things can exist in one space. I mean, how many people have fathers that they'd call great fathers--who also seriously need therapy? Probably many.

I was willing to accept the book's version of Billy white knuckling it through sobriety because I think that this was something the book established really well as a hallmark of his character. It was the double-edged sword of his personality. Billy was the type of guy who thought he needed to be a Real Man for his family the way his father never was. He would sacrifice a lot to be that guy--not just the substances he found solace in, but his feelings for Daisy, his music, his art. And then any issues he had he'd take out on people like Eddie, Graham, etc. I imagine he and Camila had highs and lows after the band broke up, like many long term marriages, and those highs and lows came back to his white knuckling personality.

So yeah, I totally agree that the book wasn't realistic about it either--but I also think the book just was better product in terms of character consistency, so I was willing to believe in it. Billy's sobriety (as it was) was kind of a plot device, versus something true to life. I think the book's version of.... a lack of reality, was also more palatable to the rather goofy version on the show.

I mean, the book also really didn't get into nasty shit that comes with addiction either--like, as much as Daisy was snorting everything that moved, she probably should've had some nose bleeds at least. Shit the bed like Kendall Roy, girl! Wake up in your own vomit. Be GROSS. In the book, the fact that they're all telling the stories themselves makes it feel more like they're glossing over embarrassing shit, but the show isn't that, not really. So it was wild to me to see Daisy do her little Stevie Nix dance to express how high she was, and having a pretty aesthetic~ overdose.

Basically: both were unrealistic, for sure, but the book was a more artistically valid approach to unrealism, whereas the show was just. Lifetime drug addiction. "Augusta's Gone", but it's Daisy Jones.

I don't mind TJR's fixation on infidelity; I actually really love how the book dealt with it, because it was so gray. But I do think that none of her other works hit it as hard as this one does, and the show just. Isn't vaguely interested in nuance.

[tiikerikani]

That's it, I'm famous now

2023.06.02 – Radio Suomen Kesäilta yhdessä (Linnanpuisto, Hämeenlinna)

It was raining on and off all afternoon so I decided to hide inside the castle, and also to survey the festival grounds from there.

The whole park was fenced off for the event, so I had to walk alllll the way around to the other side to get into the castle area.

There were sheep doing the lawn around the moat 🐑

You don't need to pay the admission fee to go to the gift shop or the cafe, but you do to get into this tower. Thanks, Museum Card!

Just then I noticed the Vesterinen dressing rooms on the left there. (I recognized their van, lol)

I spent a bit more time poking around the museums but went back outside when I heard the sound check… and hung around at that bridge, outside the fence. When they were heading back afterward, Senpai rounded the corner to go inside, and … waved at me? I think he beat me to it by a split second. Am I recognizable from THAT distance????

Later, I was sitting by the river near this nifty boat to kill time when another fan showed up with his folding chair and blanket. We decided to go find out if we were already allowed in. It seemed so. There was practically nobody else there yet, so we're just eager beaver fan army.

I'm not really the festival type so this is probably the closest I'll get to one. Since this was being put on by Yle (which is funded by our taxes), it was free to get in. I wouldn't pay €€€ to see such a short set without songs to cry to. It was also going to be broadcast live on TV, radio, and webcast.

The other thing is that I prefer seeing artists whose songs I kind of actually know, and this lineup happened to work out that way.

I kind of like Olli Halonen because his songs describe the contemporary Finnish self-image (and to some extent the stereotypes) in an updated, 21st century way.

There was a Katri Helena superfan who had a vintage album cover that she wanted autographed, as well as her new memoir. Consequently there was a small autographs/selfie session in the corner after her set. But seriously, she's been performing for literally 60 years and still sounds great.

Kalevauva.fi (and Paleface) were also there to premiere their new Hämeenlinna song. They were on the smaller stage next to the broadcast booth. I was, of course, NOT giving up this position at the front of the big stage so I skipped seeing them. (Fortunately they showed the music video on the big screen.) This was obviously for practical reasons because it takes a long time to set everything up for such a large band...

But let's face it, Vesterinen was obviously the headline act and whom everybody was here for, even though they all technically had equal billing.

Anyway, since I can just get screencaps from the TV recording, I didn't take so many pictures of my own… and actually rewatching this was pretty okay, it's hard to hear the details in the backing vocals when you have earplugs in at the live show.

(Wait, are they setting up the afterparty tent over there?? It was not there earlier.)

Because of the time constraints of a live TV broadcast, a lot of the usual banter was omitted, which meant that the other band members didn't get introduced because there's too many of them and it would take too long :D

At least he didn't gesture at me this time. Because if he had, and it had gotten on TV, I'd either be terrified or I'd have had the most legendary once-in-a-lifetime screenshot for my profile picture somewhere.

(Okay, this is pretty legendary too.)

MESSAGE FOR SENPAI!!!!!!

(Honestly I was worried that the Very Serious Security Guy in front of me was going to make some kind of move.)

Afterwards, the blondes (who also got their 5 seconds of fame) saw the band leave the stage area but didn't manage to yell at them quickly enough to get their attention, and I was just paralyzed over whose name to yell. I noticed that some of the other groupies had migrated to chatting with the people in the sound/lighting booth, so I went over and handed my envelope [1] to one of the guys in there. I didn't stick around because a) I didn't want to get into trouble, and b) I needed to catch the train back to Helsinki.

I kinda wish the TV people actually put any of my dancing/dramatic singalong on screen; they do not see in it what Senpai sees in it ;) But then, it also suits better the melodramatic songs that weren't played here.

The one cameraman on the ground did spend a significant amount of time with his camera pointed at (or past) me on a few occasions and I was trying really hard to pretend he was invisible. I'm not the "Hi Mom!!" type. He is responsible for this shot (and it does linger on me a bit):

__________

[1] This endnote is longer than that note. I mostly just wanted to hand over my traditional copy of the piano score for my latest arrangement. I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to hand anything to anybody at all, so I brought a small piece of paper and scrawled the note while I was hanging around at the bridge.

_________

Set list:

Maailma palaa

Kohti sydänpeltoja

Ilman mua

Tummilla teillä

Nuoriherra

Kukaan ei koskaan

Faarao

Kolme hyvää vinkkiä

Älä lopu yö

Hetken ikuinen

// Onnellinen mies

// Arlandan portailla

(Note: the encore songs were not on the TV broadcast, only the webcast/VOD, which, for folks in Finland, should be available until the end of the year.)

[Concert write-up archive and master calendar]