#and this is to say nothing about how the art does all of this as well at the same time as the writing and they reinforce each other aauuggg
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nuwildcat · 3 days ago
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Okay, so hopefully you don't mind this, but this drawing absolutely refused to leave me alone since I've seen it and the writing gods demanded a sacrifice in it's honor.
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Jayce has only a basic understanding of undercity politics; even then, he knows this is a bad idea. 
He’s been coming down here for parts for over a year now. Which means he knows all the best places. Benzo’s is reliable. Good parts for a good price. [name]’s got interesting stuff, the issue is the quality is shit. It’s just as likely to break as it is to work. But there’s one place you only go if you’re really desperate. And Jayce is desperate. 
The Machine Herald’s. 
The name is odd, but from what Jayce has heard, if you need something unique, you’ll find it there. The issue is, what price will you pay for it? Because the owner is one of Silco’s. 
Even with his limited knowledge, Jayce knows you don’t fuck with Silco’s people. But again, he’s desperate.
If he can get this last part, he’ll finally have something to share that even Heimerdinger can’t dismiss for Progress Day. 
So he’s taking the risk — crossing the line you don’t cross as an outsider, and entering Zaun. 
Ever since the weird and antagonistic truce between Vander and Silco was struck, there’s been a divide in the lanes. On one side, Vander’s people. The other, the self-proclaimed Zaunites led by Silco. There’s literally a fucking line in the middle of the square demarcating whose land is whose. 
Jayce’s whole body tenses for an attack as soon as he’s stepped across it. Miraculously, his luck holds and nothing happens. 
Peering at the little map Ekko has drawn for him, Jayce frowns and turns left down an alley. 
Ekko had called him a crazy piltie with sludge for brains when he’d asked for directions to the Machine Herald’s, but Ekko is like twelve, so most of what he says is insults.  
The building is pretty nondescript. Jayce almost walks past it, but a cog mounted over the door catches his eye. It’s been welded into its shape by combining many other smaller items, wrenches, pipes, and what looks like a set of keys.
Jayce stares up at it over the open door, trying to pick apart everything in the cog.
“You look lost pretty boy.”
Jayce jumps, too focused on the art, he missed that a man appeared in the doorway. The stranger leans nonchalantly on the door jamb, shooting Jayce an almost mocking look as the pipe dangling from his fingers slowly lets off swirls of pinkish smoke.
He’s startlingly pretty.
The combination of half-skirt, corset, and unbuttoned shirt is clearly meant to draw the eye, and draw it does. Jayce scans the man, struggling to put his finger on what it is about the man that’s so striking.
A quirked brow reminds Jayce he’s yet to say anything.
“I—uh. I’m looking for a—a part?”
The man smirks, his face only getting more attractive, which is doing nothing for Jayce’s ability to string a sentence together.
“I should hope so,” the man replies. “Otherwise you’d need to head elsewhere.” There’s a unique accent to the man’s soft voice, slightly raspy from the smoking.
Jayce chuckles, and steps closer to the shop. “I’m Jayce,” he says, holding out his hand.
The man stares at him, eyes flicking down to his outstretched hand and back up to his face, amusement growing stronger.
“Viktor,” he says, passing the pipe to his other hand before shaking Jayce’s hand. “How can I help you, Jayce?”
Jayce takes a deep breath and dives right into explaining what he’s looking for. As he talks, the other man gives him a bewildered look before a glint enters his eyes, and Jayce can tell he has Viktor’s full attention.
What follows is a three-hour discussion about mechanics that robs Jayce of half his monthly stipend, but sends him home with no less than four different parts he hasn’t been able to find anywhere else.
Viktor sees him off, once again leaning casually in the doorway with a smirk firmly in place. He’s likely overcharged Jayce for everything, but Jayce is so pleased he doesn’t even mind.
“Make sure to hurry back, pretty boy,” Viktor calls to him as Jayce walks away.
Looking back, Jayce shakes his head at the other man and shoots him a wink. He’s whistling as he makes his way back out of Zaun and the lanes. Today, was a very good day.
_______________
Jayce goes back. 
It’s dumb. So very, very dumb, but he does it anyway. They’d talked for hours that first time, Viktor able to not only understand his designs but to make them better. 
Not even Heimerdinger’s done that. 
It doesn’t hurt that Viktor is one of the most beautiful people Jayce has ever seen. And he’s dated Mel Medarda. He knows beautiful. 
There’s something special about Viktor. Fragility paired with a cocky confidence that makes warmth spark to life in Jayce’s belly when he sees the other man. 
It’s all rather new for Jayce. He’s feeling out of his depth. Especially with the way that Viktor has draped himself over Jayce after shoving him unceremoniously on the couch. Legs tossed over Jayce’s, Viktor is sprawled back on the arm, ever-present pipe dangling from his fingers. 
“What’s that for?” Jayce asks before he’s thought the question through. 
Viktor pauses, holding in the hit he’s just taken before letting it spill from his lips, pink-tinted and smoky. 
“It helps with the pain.”
Jayce eyes drift to the brace partially hidden by Viktor’s skirt. He’s only been able to catch glimpses and his curiosity is gnawing at him to see more. 
Viktor stretches, knocking the skirt to the side and putting the brace and himself on display. 
“See something you like, topsider?”
Jayce ignores the taunt, peering closer at the brace. “Did you make this?”
Viktor loses some of his bravado in the face of Jayce’s admiration. 
“I did.”
It’s a gorgeous piece of engineering, and the forge master in Jayce wants a better look. 
“May I?” He asks, fingers hovering over Viktor’s leg. 
This time there’s no false bravado. Viktor nods and watches him like a hawk. 
Gently, Jayce lifts the leg, turning it a bit to see how the various parts of the brace move. Viktor doesn’t fight him, relaxed and loose in his grasp. The brace is a seamless creation. Jayce is highly impressed, so he says so. 
“It’s beautiful.”
Viktor lets out a noise that makes Jayce turn from the brace despite how much he wants to study it. A Cheshire grin has spread on the other man’s face, and there’s a glint in his eyes that speaks of danger. 
“Jayce Talis. Are you flirting with me?”
Jayce freezes, not sure he could cobble together a response even if he could get his tongue working with Viktor looking at him like that. 
One moment Viktor’s sprawled like a satisfied house cat, the next he’s straddling Jayce, arms draped over Jayce’s shoulders. 
“You like?” he purrs. 
Jayce’s brain has stopped working. He’s pretty sure for a second there be blacked out, because now his hands are holding Viktor’s waist, gripping the corset that must act as a second brace. 
Oh fuck. Jayce stares, unable to get what he’s seeing to make sense. His hands—his hands almost span Viktor’s tiny waist. 
For a moment, there’s just static in his brain and then something clicks. His brain lights up, and he squeezes. 
“Oh fuck,” he murmurs. Still staring. 
Viktor chuckles breathily, his finger threading through Jayce’s hair and then pulling, yanking Jayce’s head back. Jayce grunts, tingles racing down his spine as heat pools in his belly.
“Careful pretty boy,” Viktor whispers, leaning down so that Jayce’s eyes cross as he tries to watch Viktor’s lips. “You’re playing with fire.”
Jayce is pretty sure he’d like to be burned.
“You look like you don’t have a clue what to do,” Viktor murmurs, lashes dipping prettily.
“I mean, technically?” Jayce blurts out. Viktor pulls back, looking down at him confused. Jayce shrugs. “Inexperienced? No. This particular situation? Also no.”
Viktor cocks his head in confusion, eyeing Jayce like he’s a specimen Viktor means to study. Again that wicked smile spreads and Jayce’s heart thumps in excitement.
Leaning down so his breath ghosts over Jayce’s lips, Viktor says, “Whoever let you wander down here should have known better.”
Jayce’s mouth drops open, anticipation and want bubbling up inside him. Just a little closer.
“Piltover’s loss,” Viktor whispers. Then he kisses Jayce.
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Zaun vik and Jayce
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grimeshound · 2 days ago
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UNDER YOUR SPELL.
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word count: 4,329 (someone got a little carried away...)
pairing: in-ho x you.
summary: you haunt in-ho’s every thought, an obsession he can’t shake no matter how hard he tries—you have no idea the hold you have on him. when you get drunk for the first time, in-ho seizes the opportunity to show you just how deeply you’ve affected him.
cw: 18+, age-gap, dubcon (forced intoxication), mirror sex, first time, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, stomach bulge, semi-public sex, dirty talk, corruption, manipulation
a/n: i’ve had this plot simmering in my head over the past few days ever since i wrote my in-ho hcs and it was practically begging to be written … manipulative in-ho my beloved
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Ever since he first laid eyes on you, In-ho thought you were the prettiest little angel to ever step foot in this hellhole.
You were nothing like the others. Kind, wide doe eyes, sweet smile that radiated innocence. He wondered how a pretty thing like you had ended up in a place like this. In-ho always did pride himself in his appreciation for the arts, all things with beauty. The moment he took notice of you, it didn’t take long for him to wonder what it would take to make you his.
You had joined a small group, after having met a kind man named Jung-bae who graciously let you in. Everyone shared their names, and that’s when you learned his. Oh Young-il. Except, of course, that wasn’t his real name. Just a guise, a character to play during the time he spent amongst the players. That didn’t matter, though, since you rarely used his name. 
“Sir,” you’d say. The times you did call his name, it’d be “Mister Young-il.”
The first time you spoke to him, you were nervous. It was hard not to be, something about his piercing gaze had a hold on you. Yet, you couldn’t help but admire him. The way you looked up at him, your voice so soft and deferential, made his pulse quicken. He’d do anything to protect you, and he did. Each time the games forced you apart, you’d come running to him the moment you returned to the main hall, your face lighting up with relief.
“I’m so happy you’re okay, sir.” You’d smile at him, and he’d smile back, gentle and reassuring.
You hadn’t realized it, but your attachment to him was carefully orchestrated, a product of all the high-risk situations In-ho would engineer to put you through. He’d swoop in at the perfect moment to save you, it made you trust him, made you depend on him more than anyone else. It also nurtured the little crush you were already dewasveloping, and he noticed. You couldn’t help it. He  kind to you, protective, and so devastatingly handsome.
Behind the scenes, he dug through your file. Orphaned from a young age, too naive to understand the world’s cruelties. Trusting the wrong people, you had fallen into debt, landing here. The more he learned, the more he was convinced—You needed someone to take care of you. Someone like him.
One night, In-ho just couldn’t take it anymore. After hours of keeping up his cold, calculated facade, he found himself teetering on the edge of his own sanity. The stress of orchestrating the games was always a burden he bore in silence. But lately? It wasn’t just the carnage and strategy that weighed on his mind. On top of all that, now there was you. Every stolen glance, every soft word you uttered, every moment in your presence had burrowed under his skin. You consumed him, invading every thought until there was no room for anything else.
He knew he was losing control.
When the last murmurs of conversation faded throughout the main hall and the players around him drifted into an uneasy sleep, he finally gave in to his impulses. He had a guard sneak him a bottle of soju, not caring how inappropriate or risky the request was. Rank had its privileges, and he wasn’t above abusing them.
Even in the dim light he spotted you, laid in your bed not too far from his own. All curled up and completely unaware of the monster disguised as your guardian angel watching over you. He swallowed thickly, his jaw clenching as he tried to steady his breathing. 
He listened to the sound of your breathing as a guide, the quiet rhythm of inhale and exhale filling his ears before finally pulling the bottle from its hiding place beneath his pillow. With a sharp twist, he uncapped it, the faint scent of alcohol wafting into the air around him. Sitting up in his bunk, he took a long, deliberate swig. The burn of the soju as it slid down his throat was a welcome distraction, albeit temporary. He exhaled, running a hand through his disheveled hair.  
The alcohol dulled the edges of his stress but sharpened something far more dangerous, far sicker. Desire. Thoughts of you came to surface before he could resist, vivid and unrelenting. He thought of your wide, trusting eyes looking up at him, the way your voice wavered when you spoke his name. He didn’t stop his thoughts when they turned more and more depraved. Your quiet utters of his name turning into obscene moans, innocent brushes of skin escalating into him fucking you like a madman into the crummy bed he sat beneath. The way you clung to him, so innocent, so naive, so completely unaware of just how sick his thoughts would turn because of you. 
He took another long swig, his grip tightening around the bottle as his frustration intensified. How could you do this to him without even realizing? Without even trying? It was maddening, the hold you had over him. And now, with the liquor loosening his usually taut held control, he found himself wondering how much longer he could resist. How much longer he could keep his hands to himself.
And then, as if summoned by his desires, your voice broke the silence.
“Sir?”
He turned to see you turned towards him, rubbing your eyes like a sleepy child. He softened instantly, smiling lazily as he called your name. “You’re awake?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” You climbed up to his bed without hesitation, settling beside him. “What about you?” 
“Me neither,” he murmured. He thanked whatever god there was that you couldn’t read his mind, couldn’t take a peek into the sick fantasies that had clouded up his thoughts just moments ago. Even now, when sat face to face with you, they played in the background— like a channel he couldn’t turn off no matter how hard he’d press the remote. Only, he didn’t make much effort in stopping them. If anything, the fantasies only shot up with you now in front of him. 
Your attention was soon drawn to the green bottle in his hand. “Is that… soju?”
He chuckled at your amazement. “It is.”
“Wow,” you breathed. “I’ve never had any before.”
His heart skipped. You really were too good to be true, weren’t you? He feigned surprise. “Never?”
You shook your head. “No. But..” You hesitated for a bit. “I’d like to try, if that’s okay.”
How polite. How trusting. He handed the bottle to you, hiding his smirk beneath a kind, patient smile. “Of course. Go ahead.”
You took it with both hands, your fingers brushing his briefly. There was a moment of hesitation, a fleeting glance at him as though you were silently asking for reassurance. He gave you a small nod, his expression warm and encouraging. Uttey deceptive. The thought of getting you completely wasted, rendering you impossibly dumber and even more impressionable than you already are rang like music to his ears. You tilted your head back as you gulped down more than he expected. He didn’t stop you, though. Simply watching with quiet satisfaction as you drained a sizable amount.
The first sip had your nose scrunching up, the bitter taste of the alcohol overhwleming you. Instead of backing out, you pressed on, curiosity and his approving gaze egging you on. With each gulp, you felt your body tense slightly at the unaccustomed burn that slid down your throat.
In-ho watched you intently, his dark eyes locked on you as the bottle tipped higher and higher. You were drinking far more than he expected, but he made no effort to stop you. Instead, he leaned back slightly, his lips quirking into a faint smile. Quiet satisfaction flickered in his eyes as he watched your determination to please him override your inexperience.
When you finally lowered the bottle, your lips were shiny from the liquid, your cheeks already beginning to flush, something In-ho was quick to take notice of. Whether it be your inexperience, the quickness of which you downed the Soju or the fact that you haven’t really drank or ate much prior. The alcohol had hit you harder than you anticipated, working its way through your system with worrying speed. Your head tilted back slightly as you tried to regain focus, blinking up at him with worried, glassy eyes. 
“Sir,” you murmured, your voice trembling. “I feel…so funny.”
He stepped closer, his hand moving to steady you by your waist when your knees buckled slightly. “Funny how, sweetheart?” he humored you, the concern in his tone carefully crafted.
“Dizzy,” You clung to him instinctively, your hands gripping his arm like a lifeline as you specified. “I feel lightheaded, mister Young-il. M’scared.”
“Shh,” he murmured, pulling you closer against his chest. His hand slid to your back, rubbing soothing circles as he held you steady. “It’s okay. You’re just not used to it, s’all.”
Your forehead rested against his chest, your breath uneven as you tried to make sense of the overwhelming sensations coursing through you. He tilted his head slightly, looking down at you with something twisted in his gaze, though his voice remained tender and reassuring. “Poor baby,” he murmured, pulling you into his arms. His hand stroked your hair, the sound of his words soothing you. “I’ve got you. I’ll take care of you.”
You were too drunk to notice the dark glint in his eyes or the way his smile lingered just a little too long. Too naive to realize how tightly his grip held you, as though he’d never let go.
Young-il led you to the bathroom, steadying you with a firm grip as you clung to him for balance. Every touch, every reassuring glance he gave you was planned down to the last detail, feeding into the web he’d been weaving since the moment he first laid eyes on you. You were his perfect little pawn, and now, more than ever, he could see his plan falling into place. 
When he knocked on the bathroom door, you were already bracing yourself for the usual bargaining and desperate pleading that so often accompanied requests to use the facilities. But to your surprise, the guards let you both pass without hesitation, a testament to the sway your knight in shining armor seemed to hold.
He guided you inside, shutting the door behind you with a quiet click. Leading you to the sink, he turned on the faucet, letting the cool water rush out. “Here,” he said softly, his voice calm and soothing. “Let’s wash your face. It’ll help.”
You nodded, leaning over the sink and splashing the water onto your flushed cheeks. The cold sting sent a brief jolt through you, though it did little to clear the fog in your mind. When you blinked your eyes open and straightened, you nearly jumped at the sight of him standing right behind you, close enough that you could feel his presence like a weight against your back.
Your wide-eyed gaze flicked up to the mirror. He stood there, his expression as unreadable as ever, but the intensity in his eyes made your stomach twist. Despite yourself, you wiped your face with your sleeve and offered him a sheepish smile.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked, stepping closer. His hand brushed your damp hair back from your face, the gesture tender in a way that made your breath hitch.
“Good,” you mumbled, though the truth was far from it. The alcohol swirled in your system, leaving you dizzier than before. But the way he touched you, the way he looked at you, it sent a warmth through your chest that was impossible to ignore.
“Yeah?” he hummed, his tone low and velvety, each syllable wrapping around you like a shackle. You hadn’t even noticed how close he’d gotten until now, his chest pressing lightly against your back.
Your breath hitched as something firm brushed against you from behind, and you let out a small, involuntary whimper. “Sir Young-il…?”
“In-ho,” he rasped, cutting you off. “My real name, it’s In-ho.” His voice had dropped even lower, and there was something raw and possessive in the way he said it. You blinked, confused, his real name rolling off your tongue before you could even think twice to question him.
“In-ho,” you repeated softly, as if testing the weight of it. “What’s going on?”
His lips curved into a faint smile, his hands settling firmly on your waist. “Don’t worry, baby,” he whispered, his eyes meeting yours through the mirror. “I’ll take good care of you. You trust me, don’t you?”
You nodded too quickly, too eagerly, the alcohol and your long-brewing crush on him clouding your better judgment. “I trust you,” you slurred, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Good girl,” he murmured, his grip tightening slightly as he trailed his fingers along your waist, his touch deliberate and possessive.
He leaned in, closing the already small gap between you two as his lips found yours in a kiss—the first one you’d ever shared. Admittedly, it wasn’t exactly how you’d imagined it to unfold. You pictured your first kiss with a high school crush, maybe some boy your age who’d take you out on an innocent date. But all those dreams faded the moment you met In-ho, and now, all dreams you had were consumed by him.
You pressed against him, letting him take control as his kiss deepened, hungry and intense, like a man starved for more. You followed his lead instinctively, trusting him—because you always knew, deep down, he knew what was best. So when he raised his fingers to your lips, you hesitated for only a moment before parting them, allowing him to slip two fingers inside. His dark eyes gleamed as you sucked obediently, your cheeks flushing deeper under his watchful gaze. A low, guttural sound escaped his throat, and his breathing grew heavier.
Pulling his fingers away, he wasted no time in hooking them into the waistband of your sweatpants, tugging them down in one hasty motion. His lips found the curve of your jaw, trailing kisses up to your ear as his right hand skimmed the sensitive skin of your neck.
You grabbed his wrist suddenly, your touch light and hesitant. “Wait, In-ho—” you murmured, your voice trembling with embarrassment. His dark eyes met yours in the mirror, his expression softening ever so slightly.
“I… I’ve never done anything like this before,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
He wasn’t surprised; he had suspected as much. But hearing it from you, seeing the vulnerability in your gaze—only stoked the fire burning within him.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his voice deceptively gentle, though there was an unmistakable tension in his tone.
You shook your head quickly, biting your lip. “I trust you. Just… be gentle. Please.” 
He smiled at that, a flicker of something darker hidden beneath the curve of his lips. “Of course,” he murmured, his hands resuming their slow exploration. But in his mind, he knew the truth: restraint was never his strong suit. Especially when it came to you. 
And with you—so soft, so eager, so completely his, he doubted he could hold himself back for long.
His fingers, still slick with your saliva, trailed down to your entrance, brushing over it with deliberate precision. The touch made you jolt, a shiver running up your spine as you gasped. In-ho groaned low in his throat, his eyes fixed on your reflection in the mirror. “Fucking dripping,” he mused, his voice a sinful rasp. Slowly, he slid a finger inside, the intrusion making your thighs instinctively part.
A soft moan escaped your lips as he pressed deeper, his touch firm but unhurried. This wasn’t the first time you’d felt something like this, but the last time had been your own doing—fumbling, desperate, and entirely unremarkable. That had been just days ago, tucked away in one of these very bathroom stalls, shamefully thinking of him. Now, with his hands where yours had been, the stark difference had you feeling light-headed. 
His fingers were thicker, rougher, impossibly skilled. The sensation left you trembling, your legs threatening to give out as he worked you open. His other arm snaked around your upper chest, holding you close, his grip firm yet possessive. The position bordered on a chokehold, but instead of fear, it only sent another wave of heat coursing through you.
Your breath hitched as a soft, broken “Ohmygod,” fell from your lips. He didn’t pause, didn’t falter. His finger curled just right, hitting a spot that made you see stars. Your hands gripped on In-ho’s forearm, knuckles white as you bit down hard on your lower lip, trying and failing to stifle your moans.
“You okay, sweetheart?” His voice was like velvet, roughened by desire. He pressed a kiss into the crook of your neck. His other hand released its hold on your chest as it moved lower, settling on the curve of your ass. He squeezed firmly, eliciting a high-pitched mewl from you.
You nodded weakly, barely able to form words. “Uh-huh… feels so good, sir,”
That made him chuckle, a deep, dark sound that reverberated through your body. The honorific sent a thrill down his spine, his cock straining against the confines of his sweatpants.
“You’re ready,” he murmured, almost to himself, as he pulled back just enough to tug his waistband down. You glanced over your shoulder, eyes wide as you took him in, the sight was intimidating, your head reeling. 
"In-ho, I–I don’t think I can take that." Your voice faltered, a hint of shame creeping into your words. He laughed, a sound so familiar it sent a chill down your spine. It was the kind of hearty laugh you'd grown so used to hearing from him. But now, there was something different—something darker layered beneath it, like a cruel mockery. "Course you can, angel," he said, his tone smooth but laced with an unsettling edge. "I know you can. Let me take care of you."
“H-Here? Like this?” you asked, your voice small and unsure, referring to the state he had you in—bent over the sink and in front of the mirror. utterly at his mercy.
He leaned in, his hand gripping your chin and forcing your gaze back at your reflection. “Right here,” he confirmed, his voice a low growl. Want you to watch yourself while I’m fucking you open.”
The vulgarity of his words sent a shiver through you, your body instinctively arching for him. You nodded, too dazed and drunk to do anything else, and he didn’t waste another second.
He slid inside slowly, the stretch making you cry out and grip the sink tighter. The initial sting was sharp, but it quickly gave way to something deeper, something so intense it left you gasping. Your legs wobbled beneath you, and you leaned harder against the sink for support.
“In-ho… In-ho,” you whimpered, his name falling from your lips like a chant. “Sir… I— I feel you in my stomach.”
The confession had him groaning, a sound so guttural it made your knees weak. “Yeah? Fuck, baby.” He babbled as he moved closer, his body pressing against yours as his hand trailed down with deliberate slowness. When his palm flattened against your stomach, his fingers brushing over the faint outline of him inside you, your breath hitched. 
“Feel that?” he murmured, his composure slipping as he began to move. His hips snapped against yours, each thrust deliberate and punishing. You nodded frantically, a whimper escaping as he pressed down, sending a shockwave through your body. “In-ho, nngh!—“ 
You were completely out of it, your thoughts a tangled haze, your body slack and pliant in his hands. The alcohol coursing through your veins had stripped away every layer of hesitation, leaving you wide open to his manipulations. And In-ho, oh, he reveled in it. The way your voice slurred when you called his name, the way your movements were unsteady, dependent on him for every step and touch—it all fueled his sick delight. You were better than he could’ve ever imagined. 
As he pulled you closer, pressing into you from behind, your gaze flicked to the bathroom door, a flicker of worry breaking through your drunken stupor. “In-ho…” you mewled, voice soft as you felt your body jerk with each rough thrust he made.. “What if–ah!—someone walks in?”
He paused, his hands resting possessively on your hips, a smile ghosting across his lips. “Don’t worry about that,” he said, his voice low and soothing, though there was an unmistakable edge of amusement in his tone. “The guards won’t come.” His confidence sent a shiver through you, but you weren’t entirely convinced. “But… but what if another player—”
“No one’s going to interrupt us,” he said firmly, his dark eyes boring into yours before you could finish your sentence. His fingers tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze in the mirror. “You’re with me. They wouldn’t dare.”
Something about the absolute certainty, the power in his voice—had your anxiety ebbing away, replaced by a strange sense of safety. You nodded slowly, leaning into his touch, your inhibitions melting once again under his spell.
“You trust me, don’t you, sweetheart?” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.
“Mmhm,” You squeaked out through laboured breaths. 
“That’s my girl,” he whispered, his hands sliding down to grip your waist, pulling you back against him. He watched your reflection as his fingers dug into your soft flesh, relishing the way you gasped and arched into his touch.
Your head lolled slightly, your body swaying under his hold. “Mmmh…I feel so dizzy,” you slurred, your voice barely above a whisper.
In-ho chuckled darkly, his hands moving to steady you. “That’s just the soju, sweetheart,” he said, though he didn’t bother hiding the smirk on his face. “You’re doing so well for me.”
He loved seeing you like this. Drunk, vulnerable, completely at his mercy. Every soft whimper, every stumble, every little movement that showed how completely you relied on him only fueled his desire. You were his, whether you realized it or not.
As his fingers grazed your skin, he couldn’t resist pushing you further, testing your reactions as he pushed your buttons. “You know,” he murmured, his lips ghosting along the curve of your neck, “Y’look so pretty like this. All fucked out and needy. Just for me.”
You let out a soft, breathy laugh, pressed against him. “Y-you think so?”
“I know so,” he replied, his voice a velvety purr. His hands roamed over your body, exploring, claiming. “Just look at yourself, baby. See how perfect you are for me?”
Your hazy eyes flicked to the mirror, taking in the sight of the two of you. His dark, piercing gaze met yours, his expression raw and predatory. The way he looked at you—it was almost too much. Your cheeks burned, and you averted your eyes, biting your lip.
He wasn’t having that. His hand left your waist, fingers gently gripping your chin and turning your face back toward the mirror. “No,” he said firmly. “I want you to watch. Watch yourself while I take care of you.”
The authority in his voice sent a thrill through you, your body trembling as you nodded weakly. “O-okay—ah, fuck!”
“Atta girl,” he chuckled, his lips curling into a satisfied smirk.
As his hands roamed lower, teasing and exploring, you couldn’t help the soft, breathless moans that spilled from your lips. Every touch, every word, every look from him pulled you deeper into the fog of your drunken desire, leaving you utterly helpless in his grasp.
And In-ho? He wouldn’t have it any other way.
The room filled with the lewd sounds of skin meeting skin, your muffled cries, and his filthy murmurs. “Thaat’s it, there’s my pretty girl.” His hand tangled in your hair, tugging just enough to tilt your head back, his lips brushing against your ear. “Fucking take it. Just like that.”
Every thrust sent you higher, the alcohol in your system amplifying every sensation, every nerve alight with pleasure. Your mind was fogged, the world around you turning into nothing but a senseless blur. And yet, you felt every little sensation In-ho fed you, each rough snap of his hips driving you closer and closer to the edge.
You felt your climax building, overwhelming and unstoppable. Your eyes fluttered shut, ready to let go—but his hand suddenly cupped your cheek, a sharp slap bringing you back.
“I told you,” he growled, his voice authoritative. “None of that. You keep your eyes on me when I fill you up. Understand?”
You nodded frantically, gasping as you forced your eyes open, meeting his gaze once again through the mirror—the sight was enough to send you over the edge. Your release hit you like a tidal wave, your body convulsing as you cried out his name.
The sight of you coming undone beneath him was his undoing. With a few more erratic thrusts, he followed, his hips stuttering as he spilled inside you. A deep groan tore from his chest, his hands gripping your waist tightly as he rode out his high.
The room fell into silence, save for the sound of your labored breathing. In-ho steadied you, his hands gentle now as he helped you stand. He brushed your hair back, pressing soft kisses to your temple.
“If we get out of here alive…” A sheepish smile spread across your face, “Let’s drink again sometime?”
He chuckled, the sound low and rich. “When we get out,” he corrected, his tone laced with quiet determination. He kissed you once more, sealing the promise. And he meant it. If it meant keeping you by his side, he’d kill every last player in the game with his bare hands.
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twistedpink · 3 days ago
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Mc Inserts x TWST characters pt.3 pt.2 pt.1
Al-Asim!Mc x Riddle Rosehearts @/kyokills
UGH the one of many kids x only child dynamic is to die for!!! You’re his light, the only person who could be so contradictory to him, while understanding his circumstances fully. He fixes your hair when you mess it up, and you give him the confidence for what his “letting loose” is. It is total balance. The two of you make small talk over tea and biscuits a little too often to just be friendly, but you guys haven’t crossed that line yet- It drives everyone you know insane.
“Why are you here? I swore you were aware of study hall this evening..”
“Ah! Do you have room for one more? I wanted to see you in action! Pew pew”
Pomefiore!Mc x Ace Trappola (Anon suggestion!)
The two of you are bad people in very different ways, so the only solution is to suck together! SDC is the perfect opportunity, too bad both of you are terrible roommates. You’re a judgy little whiner, and he’s a skeezy prick- AKA a match made in heaven <3 The crux of the problem is your assholeish behaviour only multiples when you hang out. Everyone else hates you, so you supplement the lacking connection by getting ever closer,, Soon enough you’ll get the message and hook up. Just not yet.
“Ace! What did I tell you about taking my serums from the fridge??”
“Do I look like I listened? Ow!”
Savanaclaw!Mc x Jade Leech (Anon suggestion!)
Ahhh,, Those enhanced senses, fluffy tail, and downright violent demeaner makes you the perfect lab rat. So many possibilities from taste testing to psychology! Too bad you hate Jade’s guts, he’ll wear you down eventually :) His little test subject was only defending their friend against the big-bad housewarden, and as the nurturing vice, how could he ever turn a blind eye to your struggle? He tries to be magnanimous with you- if only you’d taken his deal in the first place,,, With his stalking loving badgering, in a few short weeks you’re practically domesticated! Those days where you threatened to “swallow him whole” are water under the bridge! Now what is he to do with his new pet?
“My, aren’t your canines impressive?”
“Well you don’t have to say it like that,,”
Civilian!Mc x Silver Vanrouge (Anon suggestion!)
Your poor, neglected (unofficial!) delivery boy being stuck in the rain is not something you want to watch all weekend, no matter how good he looks soaked. Your parents go out around this time anyways, and over the years of cozy meetups he wears down your walls with sweet smiles and even sweeter kisses <3 Silver is the perfect boyfriend, and while getting whisked away to briar valley makes you nervous, he’s worth it. Of course all the sneaking around right now hurts your feelings a bit, but doesn’t distance make the heart grow fonder?
“Aren’t you just darling! Are you sure I can’t keep you til’ dinner?”
“You’ll just have to get by with my jacket, I’ll be back next weekend :)”
Ignihyde!Mc x Sebek Zigvolt @/fidenciocryptidcreechur
Sure, your dorm’s not known for its diplomacy, and maybe you’re a little stunted by it, but you’ll be damned if you fail art. Anything taught by Crewel is a nightmare for the introverts of ignihyde, and for your information it does suck to suck! Self proclaimed “EASIEST” elective your butt (that you fully suck at btw! You really need this freaking credit!) newsflash, nothing about art is easy! It’s all in the interpretation, and the practice, and the reference, and- holy moly is that a muscular extrovert on a HORSE? It’s time to put your big boy pants on, and pay a fifteen year old for their time. + biceps. #lockedin
“MC! I’M READY TO BE DRAWN!”
“alright! Hold that pose..”
Vice president!Mc x Rollo Flamme
Every mysterious hero needs their roguishly annoying best friend, just guess which one you are! You hover around your pampered wittle boss for a couple hours a day in exchange for the elusive office wifi. Rollo insists magicam is rotting your brain. You just respond by his spamming his ancient phone with couple’s challenges, despite being immediately rejected on a daily basis. The student body says you’re “odd” on the best of days, but your office crush hasn’t kicked you out yet- so you must be doing something right! Right?
“Woah, that guy is beautiful!”
“I’d like to assume you aren’t referring to Malleus Draconia, but it seems all your romantic conquests are an effort to “bug” me.”
“I live to serve, sir :)”
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messrsrarchives · 3 days ago
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You’re starting to act just like your fascist Reggie—censoring others and trying to dictate what can and cannot be discussed in fandom. Telling people they can’t talk about politics because you, living in a first-world country, can’t handle it? You’re the one using real-world politics to justify a fictional ship with a fascist. Have you thought about how people who are genuinely anti-fascist might also dislike it in fiction? You can’t control fandom. If you want to like fascist characters, then just own it. While fiction might not feel like reality to you, for many, it is reality. Have you considered that the characters and headcanons you enjoy might reflect deeply personal experiences for others? Not everyone has the privilege to separate fiction from reality like you do.
hi feed, this message was brought to you by someone who has clearly never interacted with me ever !
WDYMMM "telling people they can't talk about politics" 😭😭 i fear that's my ENTIRE niche across two social media platforms. i fear my entire thing is politics in a fandom space + the real world. i fear that's literally what i'm known for. what 😖
i was gonna ignore this but i have so many receipts that i thought okay ! finna answer ! why not, let's entertain this <3 (below the cut because it's long)
assuming that this is a response to this post where, after watching elon perform two nazi salutes on stage, i said "hey! maybe you should stop calling people in fandom nazis for reading about a fictional character!"
what i alsooo said on that post is that it's important to discuss politics in literature (see here: doing a masters degree in english literature + politics <3). because absolutely! the DEs are crafted in a way that reflects historic events and absolutely, that's something we can discuss!
what we should also discuss is that whilst art imitiates life and life imitates art, the two do not directly reflect one another - if i read about wizards, i am not a wizard. if i read a crime book, i am not a detective. and if i read fanfic about regulus black? i am not a facist.
in regards to the censorship comment: this here is an entireeee video i made about censorship and puritanical views in fandom spaces and why this is a Bad Thing To Do (though i fear you will disagree with it because i am saying that people can read and write whatever but alas, no censorship here x)
using real world politics to justify a ship? no, not at all. i do not think ships in fandom need to be "justified" because, again, they are fiction. can they be discussed? absolutely! my tiktok is @/messrsrobyn and you will find countless videos where i dissect fandom, characters and ships. again, this is kind of my whole thing <33 nice to meet you <33 but rather for me? that post was made as a building up of (1) the mass of people in fandom during the tiktok ban saying that words have meaning when american writers say british words "wrong", but throw buzzwords around like it's nothing and (2) this is a place for escapism and safety, which is needed now more than ever and whilst discussions about politics are important, this? this ask? this is not a discussion. this is hostility, much like people just commenting "nazi" with nothing else on a jegulus post.
discussions can be had! absolutely! my entire thing is discussions in fandom. but right now i'm trying to discuss this when you have given me nothing to work with but false claims and hostility - see how this doesn't work? but alas, i'll try :)
do people read jegulus and think "wow i love voldemort and the death eaters!!! i agree with what the did here :D" or do they read jegulus and enjoy the complexity that comes with a character like him? do they enjoy how, with a character with such little canon lore, people explore things? or yk what, do they sometimes read him as a muggle where none of this matter because there's do DEs? yeah, because it's fiction. and liking a fictional character does not have repercussions on the real world.
calling someone a facist/nazi only for teading about fictional characters does - it is so incredibly important that we read immoral literature. i'm rambling now but i'm not even talking just about fandom. we NEED books that discuss these topics and we need to explore the characters within them. we NEED politics and immorality and everything like that in books because that is how we learn, understand, and prevent. reading them does make you immoral - see here: queer books being banned in the us for containing "immoral themes" and main characters doing things they deem had and awful alongside INCREDIBLYYYY important books like the handmaids tale, to kill a mockingbird, 1984, fahrenheit 451 etc etc.
we need to read these. we need to engage with them.
but in a fandom space, we also need to acknowledge that these are not real people. these are fictional characters and there's a big difference between engaging with a character because you are justifying their actions, and engaging with a character because you enjoy Exploring their character and Understanding them in as many ways as possible 🙂↕️
but we agree!! whilst fiction may not feel like reality to some people, to many it is! so have we considered that when people come to escape from the real world for a bit, or people have family members lost to past regimes; are about to enter 4 years of another regime or are holding their breath waiting for european elections to see if another far-right populist party gets in, it might sucklk to have this thrown around?
imagine dealing with alllll of that in reality, not knowing what on earth is going to happen tomorrow or what the future holds for you and the people you love, and then being called a facist online because you read about Fictional Character Regulus Black. whilst your life literally crumbles apart because of it. you are now being called the same thing that the man oppressing you and everyone you love is, because you read FanFiction.
and then finally ahem:
"not everyone has the privilege to separate fiction from reality like you do"
if you click here, you will find a tumblr post i made about this exact thing :D about how we can't separate fiction from reality
see here also: a post about the books jkr publishes under the robert galbraith pseudonym and about how we, again, cannot separate fiction from reality.
if you click here you will find my jkr playlist on tiktok which has videos in about how, again, we cannot separate fiction from reality.
what we also can't do, mind you is call someone a facist for reading a fictional character.
there is big difference between "hey! this character has facist undertones if applied irl, we could discuss this!" and "You Are A Facist For Reading It"
instead of coming and ranting to someone who has spoken extensivelyyyy about politics in this fandom space - both with fandom material and with elections, gaza, the uk riots etc etc - and is a huge advocate of dicussions and debates, put this energy into something productive.
like actual facists. real world politics and what you could be doing at a local level to help reduce the harm of Actual Facists that are in power right now. not people taking a break from Actual Facism to read fanfiction.
ta x
(p.s i'm a homeless, chronically-ill, gay, trans man. what privilege do i have in THISSS fandom space of JK ROWLINGSSSSS worlds, to separate reality from fiction? 😭)
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sunshine6ixty · 2 days ago
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i think this is where i've landed with the whole gaiman thing.
some background, i was a gaiman girlie. i paid money to see him speak, i volunteered for a signing, i've taken pictures in front of the world's largest carousel; hugely formative, resonated on a level that nothing else i've encountered did, and so on and so on etcetera. (i got to say "mr gaiman i wouldn't be who i am today without your books" to him, which is a Different Flavored Memory now than it once was, i can tell you)
and like. though his books had a familiar and fond place in my life, i'd already gotten to a point of... nebulous disenchantment? not disgust or anything-- just that nature was taking its course, and i was drifting away. i started reading neil gaiman at age... what, thirteen? maybe eleven? and i read his work consistently for a while. i'm in my thirties now, and i haven't been keeping track, but i've read american gods once a year for at least the past five years. it was just... kinda time, in a way. he seemed like he'd said what he had to say, and was coasting in a perpetual victory lap, which i was fine with. i'd just... keep picking at the gaiman books again when i was bored.
and i remember thinking, around when i first noticed this distance i'd been feeling, that i was just... running dry. things felt stale and i didn't know where to look to change that.
and then this all happened.
and all of a sudden, my perception of this person has been wrenched into a completely new perspective. just, twisted sideways, seams popping, eyes bugging, can't-unbreak-the-action-figure wrenched. the spell is broken, in an ironically gaiman-esque way, and this mythic figure (~*nEIL GAIman*~) is revealed to be just a shitty, spoiled brat of a complete fucking monster.
i've read the article, i've heard the stories about how weird he was for doctor who, i've seen not-unreasonable allegations of plagarism floating around-- suffice it to say, he's just a shit of a dude. he's... not special. not really. he's a good writer who said one thing with his work, and lived another. who saw something that resonated, and put his name on it. who said something that we felt, and said he gave it to us.
and i realized, from this angle, that the reason i was feeling so dried out was likely because neil gaiman (some might say purposefully) took all the fucking air out of the room. like, nobody was neil gaiman, right, so what right could you have to try to do a neil gaiman? he was the only gaiman. the apex of gaiman. peak gaiman. the mystical, profound, monotheistic god of dark poetic storytelling.
but like. he wasn't. it turns out, he was just a shitty dude. magic or no, he was mostly just entitled.
and i think that sort of broke something in me. if the curtain was pulled back and there was just a weird, shitty little dude in there, then what the fuck have i been doing? in an... i-should-probably-talk-to-a-therapist-about-this sort of way, neil gaiman kept me from writing! like-- i was a kid who took pictures of graves at age five, who made up a story about a child bricked up in the school belltower who's ghost still wandered the halls (and published it in the school newspaper, next to what flavor milk does mrs k's 5th grade class prefer), who believed there was a door to another world beneath their neighbor's ornamental bush, who mapped the lost city (/junk dump) in the open space drainage ditch! this is the stuff i did before i knew gaiman! i liked gaiman because i was into this stuff already, and then after a while, without me really noticing it, neil gaiman became this stuff. the only source of it. the only rightful creator of a gaiman.
and like... if you know you can't do it like neil gaiman, because he's him and you're not, you kind of start despairing before you even begin, right?
fuck that.
i think, what i can take away from the whole debacle is this: it's time for all of us who have ever felt like this to do a gaiman.
... by which i mean, make our art. not the other stuff.
you have every right to be as audacious as neil gaiman with your art. take it as seriously, tell everyone it's as important. put that thing down on paper; the thing you otherwise wouldn't.
look, chances are, you're actually a better person than neil gaiman. he sucks. he was a skilled craftsman, but skill can be learned. what he did was practice and talk himself up. and there is nothing magical about neil gaiman that hasn't also run beneath our fingertips.
there was never anything unique about ~*neiLGAiman*~. not really. neil just made him up to be the special-est most darkest and dreamiest boy there ever was, and it was a fucking lie, and its insidious the degree to which it ate an entire genre.
because, honestly? i want to read more shit like neil gaiman! i've been hungry for more of what he said was solely his for so fucking long! i want to see what weird, fever-dream stories we've all been sitting on because he ate the entire ecosystem! i want to read all of the beautiful, terrible, fucked-up magical things from everyone that never saw the light of day because neil was too busy basking in it!
and now that the mask is off, it's fucking time. i'm going to take my shit back, neil. fuck you.
in a weird, fucked-up way, what a relief.
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cassylost-inspace · 3 days ago
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The object show community has honestly become so unsafe and toxic. I’ve only been in the community for a year and a half ,but the difference between now and then is honestly drastic. People don’t even enjoy the media anymore, all everyone does is criticise. While criticizing is fine, I don't think a community should be based on that. I have barely seen ANY positive posts about the ii movie, everyone treats it like it's meant to be God tier and I get that everyone thinks they should get what they deserve, but holy shit you guys have nothing good to say. Shipping has also become such a difficult point of discussion in the community, considering that everyone believes that their ship and their ship ONLY is good. Most of the shipping stuff wasn't relevant to me, because I'm a multi-shipper but the fandom takes ship wars to an extreme,honesty speaking. Another point is the fact that people are mad at ii for making canon ships,, again this doesn't bother me,because I have always liked all of the popular ships but it's honestly not that deep. I think I've seen like a million posts about the payjay scene from ii 18,, and people got SO mad over fan service despite the fact that it was like 3 minutes long 😭 Another thing is, I haven't talked about c2bc on here b4, but Cole getting cancelled proved how fast the fandom is willing to act immediately on a show's downfall. "I never really liked the show" that's really not the point here. I feel like people should take the situation of cole being racist more seriously instead of just taking this as a chance to bash the show. Moving on,, I remember seeing a post of someone saying "how could you even cry to object shows,, they're so unserious" why do you care? Genuinely WHO is it hurting.Moreover people saying stuff like only "12 year olds watch object shows" is dumb; because have you ever been in a fandom before??Teenagers literally keep fandoms alive, also who DO you want to be in this community. My last point is how almost everyone acts like object shows are meant to be "amazing works of art",, like they literally started off as terrible. These shows are indie and run by an even amount of people, stop treating the shows like Hollywood. Reminder that these people can do WHATEVER they want with their characters. Animationepic is one of the most listening teams out there, they sacrifice a lot for their fans and I personally think that they're allowed to do anything they want with their characters especially since they put so much effort into what the fans want. As someone who uses object shows and animation in general as a way to escape reality,, it is evident that most of you do the same. So I don't understand why there is just SO MUCH negativity coming from the community,, when os fans are so clearly talented and instead of putting effort into being hateful they can use this energy to make art, amvs, maps and animation memes and help uplift the community and it's overall impact on others.
Ik I normally don't post stuff like this, but the osc is REALLY important to me and I feel like this should be brought to more people's attention.
-Cassy
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winchesterwild78 · 13 hours ago
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The Art of Not Saying "I Love You" pt 3
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Master List
Characters: Soldier Boy, Ben x Reader, other characters from The Boys
Warnings: Angst, drug use, heartbreak
A/N: Sorry It’s taken so long to get this chapter out. I hit a wall but then it came to me. I hope you like how this one unfolds. It’s angsty. 
I do not own the rights to the characters in this story. This does not follow The Boys timeline, and is a work of fiction.
All work is my own, please don’t take it or use it without permission. Reblogs and Likes are always welcome.
Written and edited fast, please overlook any errors. 
Minors DNI 18+
The next few days I spent most of the time wrapped up in Ben’s arms. Things were different between us. He always made sure I was completely satisfied before we moved on to him. A stark contrast to other men I’d been with. I never took Ben to be so giving, especially in the bedroom. 
He still drank and smoked weed, but his coke habit had all but stopped. He told me he didn’t need it anymore. I like to think it was because of me. 
When we finally emerged I had to return to work. Ben was already up when I crawled out of bed and showered. 
I walked into the kitchen to find him sitting at the table rolling a joint. 
“That’s a hell of a breakfast, Ben. Don’t you think you should eat something?” 
He looked up at me and scoffed. 
“Doll, you worry about your breakfast not mine.” I furrowed my brow at him. His whole demeanor seemed to have shifted back to the ass he was before we spent the past three days tangled up with each other. 
I filled my coffee cup and stepped closer to him. I touched his arm, “Ben, is everything okay?” His eyes flicked to mine and the coldness sent a shiver down my spine. 
I swallowed hard. “Just peachy, doll.” “Doll? Really? Ben, come on.” 
He didn’t respond. He just took a long drag from the joint he placed between his lips. 
I grabbed my things and looked at him, “Will I see you later?” His eyes flicked to mine and he smirked, “Maybe. I think I might have company tonight.” 
I gasped and a lump formed in my throat. “Ben, really? Have the past few days meant nothing to you?” 
He stood, stretched and walked over to me taking my chin in his hand, “Of course it meant something. I finally got to give you a proper fucking.” 
Tears pricked my eyes as I pulled away. My heart clenched in my chest. What the hell happened? Why is he acting like this? Did he really just use me? 
“Aw doll, don’t leave.” He chuckled. I turned and looked at him as the sting of the tears became too much. “Ben, you can be such an asshole.” 
I turned around and walked out the door as the tears started to fall. 
The day at work sucked. The copier broke, I spilled coffee on myself, the big boss was in the building and of course my supervisor had screwed up a deadline so ultimately it was my fault. 
By the time 5pm rolled around I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I grabbed my stuff and headed towards the apartment. 
When I got in the door I heard giggling coming from down the hall. I looked at Butcher and he shot me an “I’m sorry” look. 
I sat my stuff down and shrugged off my coat. “Who’s he with now?” I asked Butcher in an icy tone. 
“Don’t know. They were in there when I got home almost 2 hours ago.” 
A lump formed in my throat and my stomach knotted. The sting of tears pricked my eyes. 
Oh fuck this hurt so bad. I was foolish to think Ben wanted me. He lied to me just to get me to sleep with him. 
“Oi, love. You okay?” I shook my head no. 
I walked past Ben’s room and heard them. His grunts and her moans. I felt sick. 
The tears began to cloud my eyes and the pain in my chest only grew. I closed and locked my door. Grabbing my bag I threw things in it. I couldn’t take this. Listening to him fucking another woman after we had just spent days wrapped in each others arms, whispering confessions and talking about the future. 
What the hell happened? I knew I shouldn’t have fallen into bed with him. Soldier Boy doesn’t do long term relationships and I was a fool to think he could fall in love with me. 
I was a fool to have fallen in love with him. I wrote Butcher a note telling him thank you for everything and I loved him. I also wrote Ben a note.
I waited to leave until I heard Ben and the woman stop, and I heard Butcher leave.
Before I left I placed the letters on the counter along with my key. My heart was shattered and it had nothing to do with Tom and everything to do with Ben. 
I heard him talking and when I heard him say he’d be back I walked towards the door. 
He walked out as I turned to close the door. Our eyes briefly met before I left. 
*Ben’s POV*
After spending days wrapped in Y/N’s arms I felt something I hadn’t in a really long time. I was falling in love with her and it scared the hell out of me. The last woman I gave my heart to betrayed me and left me to be tortured. 
I can’t risk being hurt again. I need to get out before it goes too far. 
I met the blonde at the bar. She was day drinking. Her boyfriend had just broken up with her so she was vulnerable and not looking for commitment. She was perfect for me. I invited her back to the apartment. I had a few hours before Y/N came home.
We went back to my place and I started kissing her. Flashes of Y/N’s face played in my mind. I did my best to block out the memory of her, but every touch, every moan I saw her.
Fuck! Get out of your head, Ben. Give this woman a proper fucking! 
I heard her come in, she sounded so tired. The soft click of her door broke me from my thoughts. I could hear her sniffling and I knew it was because of me. 
About an hour later I heard her open her door and walk down the hallway. I threw some pants on and opened the door, walking down the hallway.
As I got into the living room I saw her leaving. 
Our eyes met and hers were full of so much pain. It broke me. This was my fault.
I looked on the counter and noticed her key and two letters. One to Butcher and the other addressed to me. I took my letter.
Ben,
The past few days have been the most amazing of my life. I honestly thought I was breaking through some of those walls you carefully constructed around your heart. I guess I was wrong. I’ll cherish all the time we spent together. The touches, how your lips felt on mine and on my body. How just being in your arms I felt so safe and the things we whispered to each other. I’ll never forget how you stood up for me and I’ll always be grateful to you for that. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Ben, and I hope you finally find the love you deserve. Believe me you are worthy of love and you will make an amazing husband and father one day. 
I love you, Ben. I know now I didn’t know what love was until I met you. 
Love,
Y/N
Ben sighed. He knew you were gone. He pushed you away after pulling you to him. 
Ben ran his fingers through his hair and let out a deep breath. He had no idea what to do, so he called Butcher.
“Oi! What do you want?” “Butcher I fucked up. She’s gone and this time for good. She left us both a letter and her key. Come home, we need to find her.” 
Butcher gripped his phone tightly, “What do you mean she’s gone? What the hell did you do?”
“I fell in love with her Butcher. I fell in love and got scared. I’m a fucking coward.” 
“You fucking cunt! I told you not to hurt her.” 
Butcher growled into the phone, hanging up and tried to call me. 
I saw his name pop up on the screen and ignored it. 
Sitting in the Uber getting as far away as I could. My heart felt like it had been ripped out, pieced together, then ripped out and put through a shredder. 
You’re a fucking fool falling in love with him. You let your heart think for you and this is what you get. Two guys using you up and leaving you out to dry. Tom was right, I am damaged and unloveable. 
Tears slipped down my face and I quickly wiped them away. The driver was sweet. She didn’t say anything, but she handed me some tissues. 
“Thank you” I said softly. “You’re welcome, sweetie. I hope everything works out for you.” 
I nodded softly. Then my phone rang again, this time it was Ben. I sent him to voicemail. 
My phone kept ringing and messages kept going off. Voicemail and messages kept pouring in from Ben and Butcher. 
I couldn’t talk to either of them. I didn’t want to hear Butcher say “I told you to stay away from him” and I didn’t want to hear Ben make up some excuse that would send me running back to his arms. 
Butcher arrived back at the apartment and grabbed the letter I left. His jaw clenched as he read it. Ben stood silently to the side watching him. His eyes flicked up to Ben. 
“You fucking cunt! How dare you make her fall in love with you and then break her fucking heart. She deserves so much better than you.” 
Ben’s jaw clenched tightly. So tight his teeth hurt. He knew Butcher was right. Now because of his cowardice, I was gone. 
It has been almost two months since I left the apartment. I still got phone calls and messages from Butcher and Ben, but not as many as I did. 
The last voicemail I got from Ben almost broke me. His voice desperately pleading with me to come home. I could hear the crack in his voice. He ended the call telling me how he knows he fucked up, but he wanted me to give him another chance. 
Oh how I desperately wanted to be back in his arms, but I couldn’t. 
I’d kept in touch with Annie but made her keep my location a secret. She was coming over today to visit and have a girls day. 
I was excited to see her. It had been a few weeks. She said she had some news for me and wanted to tell me in person. 
I greeted her at the door. “Hey Annie. How are you?” I pulled her in for a hug. “I’m good. How are you?” 
“I’m okay. Just a little under the weather, but I’m fine. So, what’s the news?” 
She smiled softly, “Well, Huey and I are getting married. He asked me a few days ago and I said yes.” 
“Oh Annie, I’m so happy for you both. Congratulations!” 
She hugged me and thanked me. A comfortable silence filled the room. 
I swallowed, “So how’s everyone else doing?” 
She knew who “everyone” else really was but she was sweet and updated me on everyone. “Butcher really misses you. He’s been trying to figure out where you went. He’s worried sick.” 
I nodded, “I’ll call him. Let him know I’m okay. And um, how’s Ben?” 
I nervously bit my lip. She took my hand, “he’s really not good. He’s angrier than before and he’s back to snorting anything he can crush. I’m not exactly sure what happened between you two, but he’s a mess. As far as I know he hasn’t had a woman over since you left.” 
I gasped, “what? Are you serious?” 
She shook her head yes. “Sweetie, what happened?” 
“I was a fucking fool, that’s what. I slept with him and let myself believe he could actually love me. I fell in love with him and after spending days wrapped up in each other he tossed me aside. Gave me the cold shoulder and slept with another woman. He broke my heart after saying I was his and I was worthy of love. Who the hell does that to someone?!” 
A loud sob left my mouth and she held me tightly. “It’s okay sweetie. You are worthy of love. I promise.” 
The shrill sound of my phone ringing cut the silence that filled the room. We both jumped, startled by the sound. 
I looked at the screen and saw it was my doctor’s office. 
“Hello? Yes this is she. Yes. I understand. Yes, thank you I will.” 
I hung up and gasped. I looked at Annie and couldn’t speak. 
“Honey, are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.” 
My mouth hung open. Shock filled my body and my mind was racing. Trying to process what the doctor said. 
My heart was pounding in my chest, feeling heavier and heavier as the words crashed around me. 
I felt dizzy and numb. She swore the tests were just routine for my physical. “Nothing to worry about. You’re young and healthy. Everything is going to be okay.” 
She fucking lied! 
“Y/N, honey, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” 
I blinked. The sting of tears filled my eyes as the weight of her words filled my very soul. I couldn’t believe this. I had always lived my life carefully. Now what was I going to do? 
Annie grabbed my arms and forced me to look at her, “Y/N! What the hell is going on?!” Her voice was loud and startled me back to reality. 
“I went in for my yearly physical and she ran some standard tests. She was calling me with the results. Annie, she said I’m pregnant.” 
Annie’s eyes went wide, “What?!”
Tags are open, if you want to be added or removed, let me know.  
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lazycranberrydoodles · 1 year ago
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i think the barbie movie would have a profound psychological impact on hua cheng
prev comic / next comic / follow for still more hualian barbie movie content because i am not done
bonus angsty version 🎉 i hate love expressions just a couple tiny lines on the mouth and eyebrows and it goes from silly to sad
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:(
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0m3n-0f-d3ath · 2 months ago
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Otto and D3-C1 in Arcane
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They’re wanted for bot fights
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bacchuschucklefuck · 8 months ago
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the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet
#not art#have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating#gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain#very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be#translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to#he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it#kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too#and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit#man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts#that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces#thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does#love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you#he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really#until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but#just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force#its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like#they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win#but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules
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thekimspoblog · 3 months ago
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Is the video game really subverting its genre? Are you sure it's not just doing clever things within its genre, because otherwise the game would be boring and unchallenging and say nothing interesting? I'm just saying, it's cool and all that the internet allows horror game fandoms to overflow into eachother, but not EVERY 2 hour video essay needs to be spent breathlessly sucking off the devs. Sometimes a game is just REGULAR difficult and REGULAR high-quality.
Besides RPGs made over a decade ago, what is the thing supposedly subverting? Clearly not other contemporary indie horror games, because there is clearly a convergent ethos forming of cosmic horror and beginners' traps; that's just what the genre looks like nowadays.
#pathologic#fear and hunger#inscryption#in general I just hate overly reverent video essays; you guys ruined Airbender for me#this is NOT me hating on Pathologic!#Icepick is a good studio; their story is interesting their characters are well written#introducing needs decay mechanics into a first-person adventure game is a good idea; I just wouldn't call it “subversive”#this IS me hating a little bit on Patho fans just because I think hyperbole about the game's difficulty is tedious#and distracts from an equally valid conversation about what you get if you approach the game like a sandbox#I get it the algorithm incentivizes youtubers to talk about every new game like it's a complete departure from what came before#but if everything is special nothing is#and i swear if one more person tries to read me HP Lovecraft's wikipedia page like i was born yesterday im going to scream#Just saying; if fucking with the player's expectations is all it takes to be “subversive” then Stick of Truth is “subverting its genre”#except... no... Stick of Truth is a bog standard RPG just with a quirky tutorial#and creative integration of its off-beat story and mechanics RIGHT??#my point is Patho and F&H aren't actually much different; they still play like RPGs still handle like RPGs#the fact that you die more than you would in COD or Skyrim or whatever doesn't make it the “anti-RPG”#anymore than Seinfeld was the “anti-sitcom”#“subversiveness” is just a basic bitch way to analyze things; and I think “How does the art take ADVANTAGE of its genre?” is better#media criticism
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sskk-manifesto · 6 months ago
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Ep 4 :)
#I LIKE Dostoyevsky. I like how mysterious and unreadable he is. What is his goal!!!! Why does he do what he does!!!!!!! He's very cool#I think knowing his ability now REALLY adds to his character. Him being so smart so manipulative so disruptive in the way he–#seemingly kills people on touch! Only added to this impression of him being “demon” and “inhuman”#But now that we know his ability you realize... That's all his doing; no ability.#His ability in a way does help humanize him by reaffirming that except for the moment he dies– he's got no superpower at all!!!#It's just him.#And yet at the same time also solves the exact opposite role of dehumanizing him because if it's not his ability that makes him like *that*#then he's even different than other ability users!!! Then‚ if not an ability user‚ if not a non ability user: what is //he//?#It's all SO compelling!!! Also makes for an extremely insightful narrative parallel with Dazai#Not an ability user not a non ability user. Not good not evil. (I feel like Dostoyevsky does exceed the definitions of good and evil as–#much as Dazai does. If he causes evil‚ yet does so with the intention of bringing salvation to humans– is he really *simply* evil?)#Both have these borderline superpowers that make them extraordinary beings (we can call it super intelligence‚ but it goes from controlling#their own heartbit to everything else) but are unrelated to their respective abilities! Once again making them neither this or that#I find Karma's words at the end to be extremely insightful.“Ace was evil for sure‚ but this man isn't even evil.#He's a being from the beyond. A being that exceeds human limits.” Like!!! That's all that there is to it!!!!!!#Back to this chapter / episode. There's some themes / worldvies once again I don't agree with but narrative wise I think it's extraordinary#I feel like after the Guild arc the writing really matured a lot and this is a kind of preview of what the doa arc is going to be like#(aka very very well written especially if compared to the previous arcs)#The plot twists of this episode are all so unpredictable and exciting!!! I think it's remarkably witty how it takes advantages of previous–#clichés - villains always revealing details about their own ability in a way that is quite baffling - to actually surprise the audience.#It's so effective. How skillfully unpredictable Dostoyevsky is to the point you can never guess what he will do next!!!#Him killing Karma is... Idk so so soooooooo interesting. I could talk about this forever but I'm being very dispersive in the rable and–#running out of tags. The whole episode you're sorta rooting for Dostoyevsky. He's very cool and comes out charming in the way he keeps–#surprising the audience. He looks bothered by Ace's disregard of other people's lives and that makes him sympathetic too.#But then he kills Karma out of nowhere and it's an “Ah! You fell for his lies too– remember he's nothing but evil. He cares just as little#about life as Ace does”. And then??? Karma in his last words is himself so generous in his words to Dostoyevsky. It's baffling.#And it almost feels like thenarrative is once again turning around and telling you you should root for Dostoyevsky.#It's endlessly fascinating.#I have more to say about the worldviews I don't share and the art style Dostoyevsky was portrayed with this episode (love it!!)#But alas ran out of tags
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nonsensechemicals · 16 days ago
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guy who’s entire self worth and will to live when it is entirely and completely reliant on other people’s opinions on their work or something (IT DOES NOT EXIST WHATSOEVER)
#the crier#can i please please please die or just become perfect like everyone else is so i don’t have to experience this thanks#please genuinely kill me i’m going to be sick nothing i make is ever going to be loved there is no amount of changes that can be made#the art will reflect the artist and the artist is insignificant and worthless and unattractive and unappealing#it all means nothing and it all was nothing. i’ve accepted this but i’m never going to be okay with it#what the hell is even left here for me. what was i doing. i’m nothing. i don’t even exist#i just. i dont know. i wanted to exist.#i wouldn’t even care if *I* was loved. can’t you love what i love too? i made it. why doesn’t anyone see anything.#there isn’t anyone here man. no sincerity. i know what sincerity looks like. all i get something you people toss to me to shut me up#i’m genuinely scared i don’t have anything else. i don’t have anything else i don’t think anyone understands that this was my life#this is my last thread#i have no other reason to be here#i don’t think anything would stop me if this falls apart too#thinking about it more i want to say that i’d be fine with loving my creations myself. even if nobody else does. i think. they still make#me happy. i’m still happy. i think i can be fine if i just love them some more. i can still love them. and that will be enough. they’re fin#and i will be fine#i can just keep loving them and it will be fine. i don’t need anytone else to love them . i’m sorry#i’m still scared that i won’t let myself handle it. i’m scared and i don’t know why i’m so dependent on it i hate it i’m so so sick of it#i don’t want attention i dont want to need it i hate that i need it and i hate how. stupid. i get#when i just THINK that it’s not enough#why can’t i just carry them and myself away and enjoy them by myself. why do i need this so bad#i dont know why i need it so bad. they don’t even care. they arent real. they wouldn’t even want that attention on them
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lunar-years · 1 year ago
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There is something to be said for not always needing to pursue more or invest yourself in the creators/writers/actors or whatever behind a thing you love. For instance, there was this contemporary poet whose poetry I really enjoyed and then I followed him on instagram and discovered he is the most insufferable man ever and now all his poetry is tainted by association like. I should’ve never even looked this man up lmao 😔
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gingerbreadmonsters · 3 days ago
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its so important to me that you know how much ive already cried over this wip and its literally only been two days
#if this ever gets finished it will be a blasted miracle#god i just. it is just so much to me#its right in that sweet spot where it fits exactly with the image of the character in my head#AND its pressing on the bruise of an enormous hangup for me in my real life as well#i say this very genuinely: i think if u are not used to the creative process of things like making art/writing/music/dance/drama etc#its difficult to really get into how emotionally significant and worldview-changing those processes can be#obviously they dont HAVE to be. u can sing a song just for the sake of singing it and it doesn't need to mean anything at all if u want#but when u are actually CREATING it. like from nothing. boy that can really get u (in a good way and a not-good way)#and i dont say this to make the creative process sound all superior and grandiose just to make myself feel better - i really do think#that there is smth profoundly transformative and tender inside it that it is so important to feel#i mean. essentially its the feeling that the high school theatre kids are addicted to lmao#but they r totally right to be because it IS addictive and it DOES feel really good#when it comes to writing fic for me it can be such a powerful emotional experience#i only used to get that from dance (and that didn't start to happen until at LEAST 11 or 12 years after i started)#its not always SO intense. but when it is then it Really Is#and i think you can kind of tell when you read it#sometimes its emotional bc its the satisfying execution of a singular vision - its motion capture/out of my head/resist and elongate#and sometimes its bc the feeling is so intensely and overwhelmingly personal - return to me/blood sugar baby!/reeling/sea change/#in my mind i think you can really see it in my human nature series - the one with warden and vega#i dont know if thats purely bc that series means so much to me - its been my baby for almost 2 years now#or if its also bc much of it has happened during a very emotionally intense part of my life#in any case when i say that these things are very personal i don't mean in a literal sense necessarily#im not ACTUALLY out here building stalker museums or cannibalising prison guards or splitting the fabric of time#bc whats important is how it FEELS - at the heart of those fantastical things are emotions that aren't magical or supernatural at all#feelings and fears and desires that i have in my life - translated into something much bigger and grander and easier to talk about#do not worry because this is not going to be read by anyone. but if i were your english teacher i would tell you#to go and have a skim of one of the fics i mentioned just now#and i wonder what you think i was thinking about when i wrote it#what i was afraid of or what i was wanting or what i didn't know how to deal with#i dont have to ask because i already know. but i think you could guess if you really really wanted to
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snekdood · 1 month ago
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forgive me for not taking you seriously on praising a right winger who had to do 1 (one) thing to get the lefts praise vs all of these other leftists you slightly disagree with that apparently can never reach your standards of perfection no matter how hard they try.
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