#and this is probably a bias issue bc I *like* being forced to live with the things I’ve done. I made a shitty choice in act 2

[vounoura]

I’ll consolidate my thoughts more coherently later but. I liked BG3 and I liked playing it, though I think a lot of the choices (mostly the act 3 ones) have an issue of not wanting to commit to their consequences and always give the player an out which is personally frustrating for me

[the-owl-tree]

I’m gonna try and make my point again but on anon bc worried of harassment if Certain People don’t agree.

the christofascist themes in warriors I’ve only been able to notice because they align pretty well with patterns I’ve noticed in my own life. clan life (and starclan) HAS to be the only way for cats. it has to be accepted willingly, or forced upon the “lesser” groups (see, atheist or simply non christian) or they will be destroyed in some way. chased off their own land, killed, assimilated, etc. the clan cats are colonists just like eropean christians. see, squirrelflight’s hope. why does no one challenge the clan’s ideas that they are entitled to land, any land, that would benefit them? even if other cats live there? because they aren’t christia- I mean clan cats so they’re lesser and their lives are expendable. see again, squirrel flight’s hope.

I know the conflict of that book that everyone remembers (other than the abuse apologists and kids who don’t understand) is bramblestar abusing squirrelflight for 464 pages (and then getting her sister killed but he’s a man so it’s okay), but the glaring problem is the author’s bias on people different from them. there was absolutely no reason the only cat loudly protesting the slaughter of expecting mothers and children was the protagonist. and she was treated as though she were in the wrong, and punished over and over again in this book alone. remember they hate squirrelstar and her ideals. heinous, genuinely. and there wasn’t even a good resolution to that! moonlight died! the sisters had to leave! and then helped them in the next arc! what the fuck! anyway

one will note how christians are known to refer to non christians as “wicked” “evil” “dark” “lost” or other terms to make it pretty clear they think less of you for not sharing their faith. the clans the same. even through uncontrollable circumstances such as birth you are shamed in this society and downright humiliated on a good day, attempted murder on a bad one (stormpaw, featherpaw and stonefur)

and the victim mentality the clans have along with the paranoia that they are constantly at risk of being wiped out despite there being like 30 cats in their fucking colonies at all times. there is always a war on christianity. there is always a fight the clans have to win to survive. they always have to kill someone else, lately someone minding their business, to survive. they have to impose themselves on other cultures because they are the True way of life and they never have to be confronted with the idea that they are just as flawed if not more than their counterparts. and if they are, conveniently their opposition is killed off or written to submit later on proving them right. I will not include bloodclan and the kin in this because they were legitimate threats, even if in a way they were also caused by clan culture.

the most glaringly obvious example of why I believe warriors and christofascism overlap outside of the need to force themselves on everyone, is the inability to question anything without severe punishment. you cannot question god without threat of eternal damnation or being ostracized from peers and even attacked. you cannot question starclan without threat of eternal damnation and the same. even when there is no logical solution but to admit that they’re wrong and cruel and just as petty and dangerous as the dark forest, in the end the lesson is that you should listen to starclan, never doubt, never question, or you will be punished. and there is no hope for redemption even if you offer yourself to be used.

that is the issue I have. and it’s a very obvious one that I’m sure I’m not the only one who says something about it, but depending on where you live, I live in southern america, it’s not hard to see parallels. do I think it will ever escalate to the severity of reality? no. probably not ever. but the fact that I can see it is what worries me.

again not very well written, and I even got anxious towards the end so my apologies if it’s hard to follow or too sloppy! just wanted to share my thoughts even if people don’t agree.

This is really interesting, thanks for sharing!! I thought it was pretty illuminating, as I'm someone who's never heard of the term Christofascism. I don't know enough about Christian discourses or the subject at hand to commentate too much unfortunately, but I really appreciate your taking the time to write this out for me. If you're interested in expanding this further, I'd actually recommend looking into some texts on decolonization, as a lot of what you wrote hit on points similar to that (in my opinion of course).

I'm not really the best person to asks for texts like that so I'm gonna link you to communistkenobi's reading recommendations on the subject.

edit: missed it so thank you to cicadaclan for pointing this out but i'd argue against the separation of bloodclan and the kin in this. bloodclan are literally written to be godless outsiders who hate families. the kin are the continuation of the evil outsider intent on destroying the clans. the kin, whether or not they were a threat, still fall into the evil outsider trope.

[single-malt-scotch]

i have watched bdubs and scar and so im gonna talk abt SL again like i did before. obvs spoilers!

i keep my posts pretty meta/only about the game, its mechanics, balance etc so i have no bias on players own actions. but i do want to talk about players and the final moments for a minute here!

obvs i like bdubs a lot and hes been very good at getting to almost the finals in all the series. hope ppl realize that more. if he had more hearts like scar did im sure he could of have gotten further too. etho's ep isnt out but i saw him die in scar's and scar's ep was wild for sure. i mean damn, there was hardly a way etho could have escaped scar when he landed right on top of him, insane. obvs i dont have a view on the others i havent watched but it was interesting to see how they ganged up in this series for the end. scar winning made me happy too, hes a really good player!!

bbut onto the gameplay. i dont wanna repeat myself so im kinda using this as an overall conclusion + specific thoughts about the finale.

its been established clearly that mods assign specific tasks to people at times. and the warden/wither + bogey were not something i enjoyed. this season felt way too "directed" as it went on... and i also think the tasks ability to grant you so much good stuff (a LOT of hearts) is what kept everyone out of being red so easily! which is probably why they did the bogey zombies. which is really just poor balance that no one clearly tested (i recall grian implying before that they dont really test anything but dont quote me on that). maybe a way to have improved that would have been reds were the only ones to gain hearts, and yellow/greens could not. i knew from the start that the heart giving mechanics this season were kind of pointless or overpowered. gifting one heart? really...? that doesnt add up to much of anything in the long run imo unless you manage to get hearts from multiple people. and then on top of that you get hearts back from the secret keeper too. i would have loved if this season was simply "no regen and thats it!" like a sorta UHC deal where you only can heal with specific items (and not 30 hearts prob? bc i understand the tasks were kind of a way to possibly make them die).

on big forced tasks it only made sense with this episode, since everyone is red, so i dont mind that. but again.... they had to force this to happen which is annoying to me. also in terms of balance i really wished they bring back strict rules on enchantments because that also gets frustrating to watch. but perhaps i just like fairness in combat due to watching so much UHC, which also is a death game.

the other issues i had were with reds and red tasks. as pointed out they forced reds in the previous sessions but no one had any time to do red tasks?? and admittedly it was kind of boring bc people couldnt interact about it without failing. but they could not team up properly and i think that is what red life is all about. all the reds coming together because they *need* to face yellows and greens, and hunt people down. but instead the few reds there had to be alone to do their traps, another social issue with this series where tasks often pulled people away from others and left them with videos where they were very alone. there being no space for greens and yellows to exist and get hunted is something i think is great in previous seasons too and it just didnt happen. all that getting forced in that one session just didnt flow well to me.

really even trying to look back at episodes, i cant recall any notable interactions between people i enjoyed minus some brief pauses when they were traveling to do their tasks. there just wasnt a lot of typical socializing! and thats what i didnt like with this series. this plus the balance issues of lives just made this series feel messy, and the length of the episodes due to tasks could be kind of boring if the task was boring or even felt too stressful to force them into places where they could just die (these kinds of dangerous tasks given to greens or yellows felt unfair, as if it was trying to force them to die, and as a viewer i wouldnt want the game make my fave die!).

and as i mentioned in a different post, the lack of fixing some issues in multiple seasons is wild to me. this season faced the same issue as limlife where deaths were not in chat. the episode after, they fixed it (still with some bugs). and then it happened again last session.... and they didnt fix it! this is also annoying bc people dont react to the deaths at all which you kind of wanna see you know? actually im not even sure why they still did it this way. i imagined the clock running out made it more complicated for the system of fying to work. but why this season....? seemed like pretty forward deaths. idk the tech side, but they had 3 solid lives like all the other season, and there were never issues with the death messages happening at all.

but anyways. theres multiple parts of this i mentioned above that just made this gimmick feel so messy and unbalanced, and sometimes not super interesting to watch. it was way too complicated some times. i know theyll likely never do a repeat of the old versions but man idk if i cant find myself liking future seasons if they start stacking so much on top of what is a simple concept. it has started to feel like the three lives havent mattered at all/arent really the focus-- the anxiety of having three times. and the stakes become less and less due to some of these new gimmicks (the ability to gain lives in so many easy ways- limlife and secret life- is why imo) makes death feel less of a problem especially when we know how buddy buddy everyone is now. people need to be limited like before, and be more anxious. 3L, LL, and DL had people quickly establishing their friends bc they knew right from the get go that the series really depended on them being alive and nothing else. the only focus was to stay alive and not die. DL was where ppl kinda chilled a bit on alliances bc they knew each other more but, death was still right around the door with health being tied, it still brought a similar kind of anxiety for players.

i do hope people like grian can recognize these issues behind the scenes bc genuine critique for this series/season is important. like i hope they dont brush off the fact "hall monitors" were an issue-- they can ignore them openly in their videos.... but there is a reason why its a problem that started at all. the concept was way too subjective and hard to judge! so id hate for them to decide "eh, lets not listen to them, im gonna keep doing this and not consider the issue for a new season" right? and hour long episodes? thats crazy, and i dont think it was good for a lot of cc imo, because it made me way less likely to watch or even finish others' episodes. i hope that makes sense... stakes need to be raised, and i think limlife still achieved that to some degree because time was still very sensitive and risky to take. but then SL comes in bringing way too many things that keep them alive far too easily, leaving very little concern as long as they got their task in.

and last thing is from the outside pov i get concerned about this season happening only 6 months after the last one. because that would very very easily cause a burn out/inability to make more gimmicks real quick. i find this particularly odd bc this season too place through multiple holidays...! not sure if they thought this one through very well. considering how much limlife changed things in a way that was a bit more complicated, and then have SL with even more going on.... id just be worried about how much new stuff would even be made after this.

before this season started i was thinking to myself that i would be fine if this was the last one (it was speculation off some posting 3L compilations that was being me think itd be 'over' bc that was the first season). and truly i would be fine if they stopped forever for for a long time. i dont want to start disliking this series if they keep going in this direction... i will ALWAYS enjoy seeing these people play together and it will no doubt keep me watching but, i would hope that i will enjoy what they do for the next seasons and not fall down this path of convoluted, unbalanced and complicated concepts.

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[papirouge]

Those "edgy" pro choicers are definitely super annoying 😑. It's becoming harder not to out myself as pro life on main lmao. "Fetuses are parasites anyway, they deserve to be punished by death for getting in MY uterus without MY consent" fuck you lol. If you absolutely didn't want to get pregnant, birth control or abstinence is a thing. It's like most pro choicers forget that pregnancy is a normal consequence of heterosexual sex. Yeah you also consent to pregnancy if you let a man ejaculate in your vagina / if you ejaculate in a woman's vagina. Even birth control isn't 100% effective so you should always expect pregnancy if you have heterosexual sex. They act so surprise and almost traumatized when it happens. I just don't get it. Are they that dumb ??? That brainwashed ? What a sad world we live in.

FACTS✅

I think that's the most infuriating thing with pro choice feminist : they'll be like "women are so powerful we can do everything!!!💪♀️" but when it's about pregnancy? "oh but I'm so weak uwu my body [that's literally made to host babies] is not going to bear with it and I am sooo going to die because of it uwu". Notice they're hellbent on using US data for pregnancy death to project their pathological bias against abortion when other developed countries with a better healthcare system than the US (which isn't difficult bc American healthcare system is trash) pregnancy death rates are almost NONEXISTENT. In my country (France) they're below 1%. So pregnancy death isn't a pregnancy issue, it's a HEALTHCARE issue. But abortioners conveniently move the goalpost for their ideology.

You're not the first woman to tell me she's afraid to come as pro life on main because pro choicers can be rabid hysterical. Lowkey I think that's because deep down they know killing a baby is wrong so they'll cope with rootless ideology & emotionalism to justify it.

Surprisingly, a handful of radical feminist aligned women are pro life, but they're too scared to face radfem backlash, who also are a whole brand of hysteria and ideological inconsistency.

You're absolutely right about how pregnancy doesn't happen out of a vacuum and that heterosexuality is made for procreation. Abortionists trying to argue "consenting to sex isn't consenting to pregnancy" make as much sense as someone stating they want to go rafting in a river without getting wet.... Pure ideology removed from reality.

I once made a post asking why was that the same people who grasped that no one was entitled to sex were still freaking out whenever when abstinence was brought up as a valid way to avoid unwanted pregnancy. And radfem -as usual- acted sassy but...were unable to tell where my post was wrong ; because it wasn't. You can't in the same time argue sex isn't a right (to call out rape culture or TRA thinking "superstraights" owe them sex), and then act like bringing up "abstinence" was an attack against (female) sexuality. Why being so defensive about access to sex? Especially since no one is forcing anyone to NOT have sex ; just telling that it is a possibility. And yet that simple possibility makes radfem uncomfortable. Probably bc they're more sex crazed as they're willing to accept they are? Something they're somehow hellbent to input to men, and not women.

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

im losing my mind in 10th grade history i wrote my final essay on serbia vs the us bc serbia was the country id studied for a project and i just reread that essay bc i legitimately couldnt remember how to start my essay for my history final this year and holy shit guys 

“Taboo Topics: Serbia vs USA Differences

There are several subjects that are usually talked in hushed whispers behind closed doors with the wonderful exceptions of the few who speak out. These subjects include, but are in no way limited to, the gender pay gap, LGBT rights, rape, and abortions. With these topics, there are some very obvious differences between how Serbia and the United States handle them. Serbia deals with these forbidden matters significantly better than the United States does. 

The gender pay gap has been a popular topic for a few years now. Women are always paid less than men for the same work. In certain workplaces, women are actually less likely to be hired than a man even if she has more experience or better credentials, not always but quite often. The Boston Symphony holds blind auditions. There was a point where they had to make everyone who auditioned take off their shoes because the judges were hearing the women’s heel click against the floor and unconsciously judged against them. Bias against women is a very common and, unfortunately, normal thing to see is every country for quite a few centuries. It wasn’t always this way. We were all equal once. Now, we have male sports teams getting paid thousands for losing and female teams not getting paid at all. As of 2018, women in Serbia are paid 16% less than her male coworkers for the same job (Serbian Monitor). In the lovely United States, white women get paid 19% less then her white male coworkers. That is a three percent more difference than Serbia, which is bad enough but hispanic women are paid 39% less than her white male coworkers for the same work (iwpr). The three fifths compromise ended in the 1860s, and yet. This is the worst gender bias. People who love their job are the lucky ones. Most people now work a job, or several, just to stay afloat. Everyone deserves to be able to afford at least the bare minimum; food, water, housing, healthcare, and education. When women are paid a lesser wage than men when the wages are already insufficient, they have to pick and choose. To pay a woman less just because she wasn’t born a white man is telling her she isn’t worth as much. 

LGBT, which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, rights is, for some reason, a very taboo subject. People all over get killed for being part of the LGBT community. Many religions are very against anything related to the LGBT community. A lot of people think they are “confused” or straight up sinners. It should not matter what people think. If a person is a person no matter how small then a person is a person no matter their gender or sexual orientation. Serbia is very good with that. “In June 2017, Ana Brnabić became the Prime Minister of Serbia, as the first woman and first openly gay person to hold the office, and the second female LGBT head of government overall (after Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir of Iceland). She was also the first Serbian Prime Minister to attend a pride parade.” (Wikipedia). America is not even ready for any female in such a high position of power while Serbia is making a bunch of firsts for women and the LGBT community. Serbia does not recognize same-sex marriages unless they are foreign but it is not illegal, either. Just in 2015, same-sex marriage was legalized in America. Millions of people were told they were not allowed to feel how they were feeling for centuries. Love was illegal. It took so long to legalize because many people in America were so freaked out about the potential risk of an LGBT person raping them or their child or infecting them or it was against their religion.

Weirdest thing is that, in the same America, when non-LGBT people rape anyone, they are less likely to go to jail than any other criminal, even murderers. According to Rainn, Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, 995 out of 1000 perpetrators in America will walk free. With 38.6 cases of rape for every 100,000 population, as of 2015, that is a lot scarier than the bisexual girl that lives down the street who has no interest in her friend in the same way that she wouldn’t if she was straight. LGBT people are not the problem. Rapists and the morally gray judges who let them walk without so much as a smack on the wrist because it was only one person and they don’t have a history of this sort of thing, are. The victim is never the issue. Ever. People are terrified to tell anyone they were raped because they could lose their friends and even their job. The victim. The victim who was brave enough to speak out against a violation of their body and mind. They have a higher chance of losing their job than their rapists does of going to jail. They have a higher chance of dying from whooping cough, which has a 0.52 death rate in America, then their rapist has of going to jail. Statistically, in America, someone is sexually assaulted every 92 seconds (RAINN).  An estimated 63% of sexual assaults are not even reported. Very largely, in part to the low incarceration rate. In 2010, America was ranked first in 117 countries for number of rapes. Serbia was 45th. One was 1177 times more likely to get raped in America than in Serbia. As of 2015, the Serbian rate of rape cases per 100,000 was 0.7 (Knoema). Serbia is 55 times safer in these terms. They have an astronomically lower rape rate than the United States does. 

Serbia has a very high amount of abortions. Taking into consideration that Serbia severely lacked even a decent sex education system to inform their people about safe-sex. Approximately 12% of sexually active women were using condoms in the 1970s and 1980s (Wikipedia). Because of the awful education, abortion was the leading method of birth control. Serbia allows abortion up to ten weeks of pregnancy for a regular case. Twenty weeks is allowed for special cases such as “rape, incest, psychological trauma and socioeconomic reasons” (Women on Waves). Unheard of in America, abortions in Serbia “can be obtained for free as it is covered by the healthcare.” (Women on Waves). The United States does not have nearly as high of an official abortion rate because every woman, and even some men, get verbally harassed for walking into a place that happens to give abortions even if they are there for any other medical reason. Recently though, Ohio, Georgia, Mississippi, and Kentucky have all passed heartbeat bills that make abortion illegal after six weeks. Most women do not realize they are pregnant until almost halfway through their first trimester. Six weeks pregnant is two weeks late on a woman’s period. Texas, Florida, New York, Missouri, Louisiana, South Carolina, Illinois, Virginia, West Virginia, Tennessee, and Minnesota plan on also passing the heartbeat bill this year. Alabama has made a near-total ban on abortion. Birth control, IUDs, and similar things are going to be banned in Ohio. Birth control could stop a fertilised egg from implanting in the uterus and will be considered an abortion, which is already banned. Birth control has about six other uses that have nothing to do with preventing pregnancy. Georgia will prosecute women who plan to leave the state to get an abortion in a state where it is legal. This follows people out of Georgia. This makes women property of the state. Ohio is currently forcing an eleven year old girl, who was raped, carry her rapists child to delivery. Ohio, one of the free states of America, in 2019, is forcing a child, who is in fifth or sixth grade, to carry the child of the man who raped her, for nine months and then give birth. Childbirth is one of the most painful things ever and Ohio is forcing a literal child to go through it. 

Serbia may, on a governmental level, be a mess but at least their people are treated well. Despite Serbia being a conflict magnet country and America being “the land of the free”, Serbia generally has less restrictions and more acceptance with these choice issues and maybe -probably- even more. Serbia has a lesser pay gap, an openly gay, female prime minister, less chances of being raped, and abortion is legal and free because of healthcare that makes sense. Serbia is far from perfect but it is undoubtedly closer than America.”

[stonedgilbert]

I’m curious, obviously Jeremy can’t stand Elena but how does he feel about Katherine? I’d love to know your take on it

well nonnie, do i have some deets for you!!! i think, first off it’s important to note that mentally, jeremy has a trained response to elena’s face - very ‘pavlov’s dog’ type thing. when he sees her face, he gets angry... so, ultimately, on first sight jeremy hates katherine solely because looking at her is like looking at elena. MIND YOU- he has this conditioned response to ALL of the doppelgangers this way, but in the long run... it’s instinctual. so remember that when it comes to katherine, he’s already biased against her because of the fact that elena looks like her. his disdain for his sister runs so deep that he genuinely can’t see reason when it comes to her, and by extension, that bias bleeds into any interaction he has with katherine as well.

but on a personal level - jeremy really doesn’t have any strong feelings towards katherine. there’s the idea that, in season two at the masquerade ball, jeremy couldn’t have been in the room with katherine because he Would have been ‘great, kill two birds with one stone’ in regards to elena and katherine’s lives being linked, so he would have just killed katherine in order to kill elena in a round about way. he just doesn’t care.

when it comes to after that masquerade ball, even though katherine is antagonistic towards elena specifically in a lot of respects, he does see how... literally, a lot of the things that happen in jeremy’s life, that he hates, are in large part spawned by katherine as well. he very much holds the mindset of ‘if katherine had just fucked off and left the salvatores alone, absolutely none of this would have happened’, so... he does hold resentment for her.

and then there’s the fact that she fed him to silas, so she DID literally kill him at least once (i also feel like there was neck snapping in the tomb at one point, but i will fully admit that i don’t remember 100%)... so yeah, he’s not exactly happy about that.

mind you, jeremy doesn’t really know a ton about her on a genuinely personal level until she takes the cure, and after that he is very much the “sigh, i literally don’t care about you, why do i have to take care of you” in regards to the car trip (and other than that i admittedly don’t remember a ton so...) but... LET’S LOOK PAST ALL THAT FOR A MOMENT, and think about how jeremy WOULD see katherine if all that wasn’t the case.

there are certain things/reasons that jeremy does feel for her - at least in regards to her past, and why she became the person who set off the events that spawned the destruction of his entire life as he knew it, but in a lot of ways, he’s just confused when it comes to her. yeah, he has a crush on both salvatore brothers himself, but he genuinely doesn’t see why she would go through so much trouble for them. granted, that’s probably a healthy dose of intimacy issues talking when it comes to him and how he views other people, but he really just “okay but why not just fuck off and start smashing someone else? they’re literally just two guys what even IS this why are you like this”. but that’s also considering the fact that he has never been in love - has never allowed himself to feel something that deep, so to him, if someone he was dating/sleeping with was causing him that much trouble/disrupting his life that much, he’d just cut ties and move on. he doesn’t see the POINT.

he finds her personality grating, mostly because he, to a certain degree, has developed such a flattened affect in many respects (in a lot of ways) that she goes along the line of playing games and he just “i literally could not care less”. THAT, OF COURSE, is in large part his depression speaking, and he MAY feel differently if he ever actually gets help for it, but considering in most of his verses i write him in his 20s, post-mystic falls... let’s just say that he doesn’t ever really get that help until someone basically forces him to. she says one thing, and his immediate response is “okay but wouldn’t it just be easier to ... not?” and genuinely, he has developed this sort of mindset of “least effort possible” that makes him think all of katherine’s schemes - and her in general - are just more trouble than they’re worth.

tl;dr .. jeremy very much dislikes her because she led to his life being destroyed and she killed him AND bc she looks like elena and he genuinely does Not like elena That Much, but outside of that he also lowkey finds her just a bit annoying and more trouble than she’s worth (also like elena) BUT if he ever got help with his depression/a lot of other traume he keeps bottled up, there is actual potential for him to be friends with her, just bc i think it could happen if the opportunity was presented to him

[kyunswife]

Do ,, every day6 member for that ask u reblogged

asghfj anon brace yourself

Jae

1. My first impression of them

i liked him the most ❣ i remember watching I Wait n thinking that he was rly cool after that What Can I Say just did it for me, i was like yes, you have been chosen, take my heart lmaoo i rly thought…..

2. What I think their best era was

i love him during the school series, the pink rly suits him but being the Black Hair Enthusiast that i am i must say he looks superior w black hair w n w/o glasses, i like his cute small eyes

3. My favorite thing about them

how he is his unapologetic self, bear w me i’m going somewhere.. i feel like ppl expect him to be a clown 24/7 n like these ppl need to piss off, whenever he feels like being funny n hyper he will just be that and the same way when he’s just chill n quiet or giggling in the back bc of the other members, that way his personality, to me, comes off as natural n not forced, did i make any sense¿ also he’s 1.82 cm 🤭❣

Sungjin

1. My first impression of them

i didn’t like him at all at first asjhdjsaja i feel terrible now saying this but it’s probably bc of this, i was like… ok you may be handsome n have a cute smile but you’re still… in spanish we say mamón lmaoo idk how to describe it but it means something like snobbish¿¿¿¿ when you think you’re better than anyone else¿¿ yeah

2. What I think their best era was

defenitely I Smile 😍😍😍

3. My favorite thing about them

when he was talking abt why he cut his hair n how much better he feels abt himself, it hurt a lot to know he struggled w self esteem issues but then he said something along the lines of how strong he got mentally bc of this n,,,, i rly don’t wanna get emotional rn sajdsa but i just truly admire him n i am so proud, i love him 💕💕💕💕

Wonpil:

1. My first impression of them

He is a ᵗᶦⁿʸ baby… boy i was not wrong lmaoo but i had a hard time figuring out what was the whole hype abt him like, everyone seems to adore him n i couldn’t find That in him¿¿¿ but then i started to see the way he interacted w the members so i was like i see u, superb, you funky lil boy 👀

2. What I think their best era was

this performance, i can’t find any gif abt it tho, but the hair is similar, i guess it was around How Can I Say-ish

3. My favorite thing about them

i think even the members have said it before, that they admired his strong mind, it makes me think that they love to annoy him the most, but if you notice his reaction to it, it’s like he has this “n what abt it” aura. i loved it when Young K was making fun of him while he was cooking the seaweed soup n he was just like, nope gotta cook, gotta concentrate, i’ve got no time for you mister and Young K loves that, also his laugh is life ✨

Dowoon:

1. My first impression of them

🚨🚨🚨*attractive male alarm activated* 🚨🚨🚨 

blame it on the I Wait MV asdjks i didn’t expect him to be the youngest ok ✋ n i certainly didn’t expect him to be an actual puppy n That was such a great turn of events 💕🐶

2. What I think their best era was

I Wait, I’m Serious n Hi Hello lol just any time his hair is messy ✨✨✨

3. My favorite thing about them

i love the way he’s getting rid of his shy persona, i mean he still looks super awkward afhlsdkj but he doesn’t get red every time he has to speak 🤭 

i loved it when they were somewhere backstage n Young K said something abt Dowoon doing a great job performing n he literally started twisting in his seat bc he was excited n he made this face

then Young K is like “n this is why you should never compliment Dowoon” asfdhsagkdf cuteeee 💖💖💖💖💖💖

Young K:

1. My first impression of them

ooff okay 🙏

like I said before, Jae was my bias for like a few days lol…. even during my Jae phase i was like, damn that’s one (1) Good Looking Specimen, he must be a fire sign 👀👀👀 like during that part in I Wait when they’re playing their instruments under the rain he was going Mad w that bass n yeah, that was v s*xy 🤭 

honestly idk how i ended up completely whipped 😩😩😩 but i am, like he was so attractive to me, his smile, his voice, the way he carries himself… he gave me this super chic n rocker bf vibes but then asjdfhkas it happened, it had to happen one day or another lol i saw his dorky side, his love for food, his accent when he speaks english, his lyrics, the way he plays the guitar/bass, the way he interacts w the members, how he needs to tease ppl in order to achieve peace n happiness, when he’s all soft n confident ashgdksjd *britney yeah gif* this is unsurprisingly morphing into a love letter, we all saw it coming 🤦‍♀️ n I haven’t even reached the part of what i love the most abt him 🤐

2. What I think their best era was

there is no such thing as a bad era for Kang Younghyun imo, every era, every mv, he kills me so…. here are some of my fave looks 😩

3. My favorite thing about them

a few weeks ago i was watching Terry’s old videos n omg he was such an underdeveloped Sag ashdfgs he’s pisces moon was at his peak 😩💕😩💕  just wanted to get that out of my chestashdgjas but honestly i’m restraining myself from writing a whole essay abt why i love Kang Younghyun so to keep it short n sweet he’s a v talented man who puts a lot of passion in whatever he puts his mind into, like i admire him so much for being a full time musician who finished his career, like i could never tbh, school is so damn hard by itself he must have been super tired all the time but it feels so good to know that he did, I am so proud of him 😭😭😭😭 when he was doing a radio thing on vlive w sungjin n he was late bc of school, the boy was panting for like 15 min after he arrived ashdgjas n then sungjin asked him if it was hard to be a student + idol n he was like…. uhhhh yes 😢 

like i said i rly don’t even know how i ended up admiring him so much, like one minute i was like did i rly went out of young k’s fancams to watch¿¿¿¿¿ am i rly doing a natal chart of this Sagittarius guy¿¿¿¿¿ that’s when it hit me lol

ohhh and THIS when he said “i think every person lives with insecurities until the day they die” ughh i love an eloquent w a beautiful mind, like this whole video, the way he explains why he’s behind this Young K persona, my god, he’s so damn beautiful, inside n out…. i think i’m gonna stop right here ajdshkjsks 

[minblush]

k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[trashinabinthatistaejin-blog]

I may be the only one who thinks this but don't you think sometimes yoongi can be a bit overboard when it comes to jin? I was watching the bts festa in 2015 & he called jin "boring" and asked him why he films himself eating & idk the entire time jin didn't look right. even with the roommate festa thing we had this year, when jin said they talked for like "3 seconds" idk i don't doubt their friendship, obviously they're close but i just feel bad for jin sometimes bc of it

No- you’re not alone! I know what you mean! I feel that way all the time! And ik exactly why you mean with the Home Party too! When Jin feels guilty he just looks like a kick puppy- even tho I can tell he tries to hide it- and it just tugs at your heartstrings. (Poor Seokjin T~T). I think he might be a bit much too and but The thing is it’s that it’s in their culture- I’m assuming your non-Korean. But it’s not seen as mean in their culture for Koreans to point out people’s fault and mistakes even tho over here it’s seen as hurtful and a mean thing to do. Koreans do get sad over being nitpicked at their faults but it’s not seen as such a big deal as it would be in other parts of the world. The reason why it’s seen especially on Suga is because Suga is the closest to Jin’s age. Age is regarded as such an important thing in their culture, so Koreans ( generally but BTS esp.) would show upmost respect for their elders even if perhaps the elder is wrong and they’re right- even if they’ve been living together as long as BTS has. The importance of age hit me in the 4th Anniversary FM when Hoseok had such different reactions to not going along with his plans for the members. It’s a big barrier. Honestly, that’s the only reason the others don’t pick at Seokjins fault as much as the others. Seokjin himself does it too- A LOT( since he’s the oldest). Try not to feel so bad. BTS isn’t trying to put eachother down. I’ll also try to not feel bad! It breaks my heart T~T

Honestly I feel the baddest for Taehyung becuz he’s the second to youngest, and unlike JK he tends to be underestimated by the other members- it’s almost like EVERYONE “attacks” him. And to make it worse, he’s not good at arguing and that easily makes him a victim to self hatred and depression- he’ll feel like other members are right because he can’t defend himself as he wants to and hate that he can’t defend himself as he wants to-. U can see it in little snip bits like when Taehyung said himself he tends to not have faith in himself and thought his smile was weird and in 2016 he probably forced himself to smile less for that very reason. You can see how his confidence just dropped- In 2013 he would as weird as he could no matter what, brush away compliments with a smile and by 2016 u got him saying this self hating comments and him looking at the ground and frowning all the time and BTS just talking over and ignoring him everytime he speaks. It breaks my heart T~T! I’m pretty sure the reason Taehyung broke so much was because he probably wasn’t used to such criticism before and it took a toll on him when reality hit him. He’s getting better now but… still I just feel so bad even tho ik I shouldn’t. Ik exactly how he feeling so sometimes I just want to tell him I love him and he’s perfect the way he is and to believe in himself but WAHHH TT~TT

I love Seokjin too- he’s my bias a million times over- but he honestly got lucky as the oldest and I bless God each time I realize how lucky he was. But I also feel bad for Taehyung- urgh. I wish i could tell BTS to cut down on it, but mental health isn’t treated as much as an issue in Korea as other places ( it SHOULD- since it’s, I believe, the 2nd most suicidal country?). Mental health isn’t taken that seriously in other countries either tho. It’s so important though…

Anyways, you’re not alone( YNWA)! But it’s not how it seems. It was a big culture shock to me too when BTS would call eachother ugly and everyone would laugh. I really want them to be nicer to each other…

[jaderpt]

—☆ so i’m finally making a list plots i’d like to do. i’ll also state a couple quick facts about myself to kinda,,, help with the plotting process! All of that will be under the cut and if you’d like to plot and if you’re down for anything I mentioned just like this or message me as usual!

—♡ FACTS ABOUT ME

my name is bia!

i’m 16 years old and i prefer she/her pronouns.

i’m fine with rping over anything but my replies are quicker and better if we rp over kik. 

if you’d like one of my writing samples, here’s a link to one of my char blogs. 

i prefer playing males but i’m fine with playing females and nonbinary characters as well!

if we plot i can assure hcs, playlists, moodboards, ask memes, etc. etc will be included.

i prefer playing OCs.

i’m not a big fan of using gifs but ,, by all means, use them!

i’ve got a ton of things i won’t rp but theyre typical things so i feel no need to say them.

if you’ve got a kik, imessage, or twitter, it’ll probably be easier for me to answer you quicker.

now on to plots i’d like!

—☆ WANTED PLOTS*

 *they’re mainly copied from other posts so creds to the original plot writers! but some will be really short and not detailed but that’s because if one of the short ones seem interesting i’d like to plot it out w/ whoever is interested.

Muse A is a famous celebrity and Muse B is just a fan. Muse A has gone public with their Snapchat profile meaning anyone can add them. Muse B adds Muse A, and accidentally sends Muse A a snap that was meant for a friend.  Instead of ignoring the snap sent from Muse B sent them, Muse A replies back because they find the other attractive. Thus, creating a relationship though Snapchat - which would soon translate to texting, calling, skyping all that kind of stuff.

a plot where muse a and muse b happen to be neighbors and one night muse a cooks all a perfect meal that took them like 4 hours and they arranged the table all nice and stuff and there’s wine for the occasion and they end up getting stood up by their date or boyfriend and meanwhile muse b is like out of toilet paper or something so they knock on muse a’s door and notice they’re upset and they notice untouched food on the table so she like come inside and sit at the table and just start digging in and muse a doesn’t even care they are just like whatever but basically it becomes a regular occasion and muse b always comes over with a bottle of wine and muse a cooks and this weird casual relationship of some sort blossoms except they aren’t labeling it as dating idk i kinda want this

  plot where MUSE A has just had her heart ripped apart by her boyfriend of eight years, who has not only cheated on her but left her for the other woman. devastated, she is forced to move back home with her family and rebuild the fragments of her life she’s been left with. one day whilst walking around town, she bumps into MUSE B, someone who was in the year above her at school and went out with tons of girls. they weren’t really friends but they used to have a little thing for each other. basically he wants to catch up with her and go out for some lunch and he’s instantly captivated by her like wow, how could this guy have let her go?? but yeah MUSE B has to slowly pick up the pieces of MUSE A bc she’s still completely hung up and in love with her ex. like she’s such a fragile little thing that is now riddled with trust issues and needs protecting and he is just raring to jump in and be with her but he has to wait for once his life and yes. PLEASE.

ok… so… m and f are both celebs. m is very cocky and a big ladies’ man who loves to sleep around and party and all that. f is a little pop star who keeps to herself and never creates drama and is well-liked by the public. m and f meet at an event one night. all m can think about afterward is f and how cool and different she is, while f never wants to see m again after living up to his reputation for being a bit of a jerk. SO m starts to do everything in his power to make f like him… and f starts to like him but in the most pure way possible ?? and they get along so well and genuinely have fun?? like she’ll call him when he’s going to be interviewed on tv and make him watch it over the phone with her ?? and m will text f “I’m coming over and I’m bringing you flowers” and f will say “… I want ice cream AND flowers” and she’s not being a snob she’s just being adorable ?? and m will do anything for her ? but f is still fearful of his rep? but m will still drop everything to just come over and cuddle with f? and just angst and fluff and !!!

i really want a plot where this totally sweet girl is dating this total ass and he prob cheats on her all the time and is so shitty to her but she stays because she’s sweet and caring and he’s all she’s ever known and they used to be so in love but anyways he’s totally one of those guys who brings around his douche friends and they sit on the couch and talk about chicks and drugs and partying and she is supposed 2 be the regular house wife gf who brings them food and sits next to him when they watch movies so he can flaunt her and just be /: a dick /: ANYWAYS his fellow douche friend starts to slowly be like god this guy is so awful to her and he starts following her out of the room instead of staying to high five his friend for cheating on her w some club girl and idk he just generally starts hanging out with her more while her bf and his other friends hang out in the basement or some shit and they’ll like sit on the porch while he smokes and they just talk or he’ll help her make food or ANYTHING and it can go so many cute ways tbh like ? he could be listening to the friend brag about sleeping around one day or see him being shitty to her like yelling at her for nothing ro smth and just be like DAMN I’VE HAD ENOUGH and finally break and yell at his friend and fight for her and accidently admit that he thinks she’s totally amazing and he’d cherish her sm or he could kiss her one night while they’re talking and they could start sneaking around behind the friends back or anything so ! 

i really, really want a plot where muse a is a naive, sweet, romantic, whimsical little thing with a whole lot of optimism and sunshine in their veins and muse b is the complete opposite; a total player who has someone new in their bed every weekend and hates responsibilities and just spends a lot of their time fucking around. somehow these two have been friends for a while, despite their differing personalities, and one day muse a ends up having to move out of their apartment due to a fire or an infestation or something and muse b is the one who offers to put them up for the time being. it’s all well and good except muse a has terrible nightmares constantly and one night muse b is sick and tired of it (and deep down a little concerned) so gets into bed with muse a until they stop crying and shaking and fall asleep in muse b’s arms instead. cue awkward muses sleeping in the same bed every night and it actually helping muse a a lot with the nightmares, and lots of cuddling and feelings ensue. muse b, being the player they are, are terrified of the idea of liking someone but muse a is pretty much already head over heels and ANGST !!

an au where our muses are roommates and they can barely come up with enough money to make the rent every month so one of them suggests they make a sex tape and sell it to a website and the other muse is totally not into it until they get a foreclosure notice and when they finally agree to it it’s such a big hit that they keep making more and more

OK BUT CONSIDER THIS !! the landlord accidentally rented out the same apartment to the us and now we have to share?? bonus points if they already know/hate eachother bonus BONUS points if they rage an all out war to see who can get the other to move out first.

muse a and muse b had always been the ideal couple. they were always happy and enjoyed each others company until muse b ended up going into a slump. muse b went through a very tragic incident ( up to the player!!! ). muse b didn’t want to do anything besides staying home alone, watching old reruns of cartoons, smoking marijuana, and eating unhealthy foods. muse a realizes that they’re hurt and upset but is deeply saddened by their life choices and tries their best to get muse b back to their old self. muse b is tired of all of the “nagging” from muse a and needs constant reassurance of muse a’s love for them. muse a is stuck in a constant cycle of wanting to end the relationship and wanting to better muse b.

gimme a plot where … basically, muse a is this corrupted soul, always drinking too much, getting too high, they can barely function and muse b is basically their saving grace, always coming through in the middle of the night after a drunken phone call asking for a ride home. and muse b only does this because they’re a good person at heart, but they can’t deny that muse a’s actions actually disgusts them. but they’ve known each other for too long and muse b always promised they’d never let muse a down, because they know they’re the only thing that’s STABLE in their life. and this has become their routine, muse a texting/calling muse b when something goes wrong and muse b coming around to rescue them. there’s not much to their friendship beside that, these days, because muse a doesn’t really acknowledge them otherwise. and muse b just settles with the fact that they’re being used, but they can’t bear to leave muse a alone, knowing that they probably wouldn’t survive without them … but then ONE NIGHT, when muse b is carrying muse a into bed, tucking them in like they usually do and they’re about ready to say goodnight until muse a, who is completely out of their mind intoxicated, mumbles something barely audible that sounds a lot like ‘i love you.’ muse b thinks to brush it off, until muse a continues professing all these FEELINGS like ‘i really fucking love you, please, don’t leave me tonight’ and muse b is just STUCK. because muse a is so bad for them but muse b is the only good thing in their life … so they stay.

muse a always struggled with staying home and not getting into trouble. they were always out partying and getting high and being completely reckless (maybe bc of some emotional/at home issues??? idk maybe not it up to whoever plays them.). muse a has a cocaine addiction and its very serious, they also have a tendency to hook up with random people. in comes muse b who is the exact opposite. the two meet and begin dating (lots of interpretation here bc i wanna figure this part out with whoever i do it with.). their relationship is pretty toxic between muse a’s drug addiction and constant hookups even though muse a’s feelings for b are very real. muse b realizes the relationship is unhealthy and feels as if muse a is more in love with their drugs than they are with them.

muse a and muse b have always been best friends and definitely had hidden feelings for each other. now those feelings have to be hidden away as muse a has been arranged to marry muse c. muse c is manipulative and is too emotional for their own good. muse a isn’t in love with muse c and most likely never will. muse b is of course jealous and has plotted out a plan to get muse a out of the arranged marriage. it’s the day of the marriage and muse c is standing at the altar while muse a is conversing with muse b in the back. muse b slides muse a a copy of the plan and heads outside awaiting muse a. muse a and b end up driving away in muse b’s car with just the money they have and end up staying in different cities. (think of roadtrip stuff ??) 

Muse A and B were best friends. They snuck into places late at night, got high, sat on roofs, and were generally reckless together. Their relationship was purely platonic and nothing more until something happened. Muse A experienced a major tragedy (idk what it is its up to whoever plays them!!!) which causes Muse A to lash out and explode on Muse B the argument gets intense and there are definitely words that they regret saying. The two end their friendship and muse b goes away to a foreign country to do their studies because of their parents. After being away Muse A realizes their mistakes and realizes a bit more. They realize maybe what they felt for muse b wasn’t platonic and they had to do something. Muse a cant help but text muse b with an ‘I love you’ and then they wait. 

muse a was always everyone’s personal ray of sunshine, making everyone’s day instantly. then somehow muse a met muse b who was the exact opposite and they instantly hit it off. muse b was the towns drug dealer, always doing drugs and generally not a good influence on anyone but somehow muse a and muse b started dating. muse b taught muse a everything they knew. from muse a’s first time to muse a learning how to roll a blunt, muse b was the one who taught them that. muse a turned into an almost exact copy of muse b. muse a gained confidence, turned to drugs, hung out at parties, and became gloomy instead of that sunshine everyone knew. everything was good until muse b started cheating on muse a. muse a had a soft spot for muse b and would practically do anything for b. muse a on the other hand knew it wasn’t right and tried to leave countless times but each time muse b would never let go of muse a and fill them up with words that sounded nice and appeared to be an apology but the problem was, muse b never meant them.  the problem is, when muse a gets caught up in muse b’s drug business will muse b continue to not care about them and let muse a get in trouble or will muse b snag muse a so they can skip town and maybe rekindle what they had?

idk about you but i’m a sucker for the we just had sex and it’s the morning after and i woke up to an empty bed and how could i be so stupid of course you left me alone but wait you’re in my kitchen cooking me breakfast and i’m so relieved trope

muse a and b are both college students. muse a was the top of their class, getting straight a’s, and taking almost all ap classes; they didn’t have anything to complain about. then one day something tragic happened ( death of a loved one ?? accident of some kind ?? idk its up to whoever plays them ) and muse a completely changed. their grades plummeted and they quickly fell into a pit of sadness, consuming themselves into their art and writing. all around muse a’s dorm hung unfinished and finished painting and crumpled up pieces of creative writing. word quickly got around about muse a’s current situation and there was a lot of talk going around. then in comes muse b. they didn’t care about school, smoked weed, partied, did drugs and lived life to the ‘fullest’. muse b had never talked to muse a in their life, but they weren’t a fool and new better than to talk about them behind their back and not try to do something. muse b tried to talk to muse a through trying to get paired up in various projects. the two started talking and created an inevitable bond. it was almost impossible to say that they weren’t in love. muse b quickly found interest in muse a’s art and writing and they found out they share the same feelings about wanting to leave the town they live in. muse b suggested getting away and muse a agreed, not caring where they went as long as they were together, which brought up many questions. where would they go? would they go? how would their new life turn out? 

i need a famous ship where they’re both insanely busy with album recordings & red carpets & tours & they’re trying to make this whole long distance relationship work but with the time differences & going months without seeing each other it’s difficult, not to mention all the rumors & shit. but then there’s all the cute things like showing up on tour to surprise each other & going to award shows together & just finally seeing each other again after going so long with only facetime dates, missed calls, & late night texts to get them by. honestly idek where i’m going with this i just know that i really want it ??? but like this or message me & we can figure everything out k cool

aight but how about a plot that’s like “i met a boy that’s super rich so i’m gonna start dating him just so he can buy me nice things. im gonna play with his heart and flirt with his rich friends behind his back. whoops he’s actually nice and he really likes me. i might like him back.  what do you mean you found out i was just using you for your money?? come back i think i feel in love with you”

i’m going to bed soon probably but give me a long distance plot where muse a is famous as fuck and creates a fake fan account on twitter/tumblr to feel kinda closer to fans and it’s all good and no one really knows it’s him and it’s all good and he’s getting to know what fans want from him but then enters muse b, who’s so completely in love with muse a and his music. the two begin to talk and they become friends and soon they’re texting constantly and she tells him everything and fangirls about her idol to him and they’ve both caught feelings really badly. so one day muse b gets a little scared that she’s being catfished so she asks muse a to video call her. out of fear of losing her, he agrees and, surprise bitch, it’s her fucking idol.

*please remember most of the plots don’t belong to me and came from various posts in my plot tag.

—♡ if you read all of this and still want to plot! please don’t hesitate to like this or message me!

[pensiveponder]

I’m thinking more about mania andFuck I just noticed some REALSHIT?I was thinking of mania as Good feelings and Deprrssion as bad ones butit’s not it’s more like - intensity. Mania can manifest as obsessive anything reallyand I’m noticing like. I’ve often felt sort of confused and disoriented by like

amikaYesterday at 11:35 PM

its really tough to realize when youre in it too

critterdustYesterday at 11:35 PM

why I might suddenly enjoy things one dayAnd not lateror how likeI basically can’t remember anything since before some day where I suddenly switchedI think maybe I should consider not taking adderall on manic daysbut I’ll have to think on thatbut uhBecause I didn’t recognize my feelings as manicI was absurdly reckless with my emotions + this crushAnd also I’ve been constantly confused about my fluctuations and mostly just, genuinely I would say “disoriented” is the best way to describe  it(edited)Of frequently feeling like the person who made the last decisions was not me somehowAnd a state of confusion of how I got myself into this World stateBut like. While I’m depressed I spend a lot of time angry at myself for not being “lightning boned”So much so that maybe when I’m manic I try to force certain emotions way too hard tooBut instead I could just. Calmly and legitimate await the change and actually accept that I have mood cycles(And try to do my best anyway on depressive - it’s a good time for going for walks and doing calmer stuff actually. It’s not impossible to do Work in this mode if it’s simpler stuff too)Instead of seeing mania as “when the emotions good” I mostly just need to see it as like“when are the behaviors erratic - when are the emotions intense (even if negative feeing)”it’s not like phases are ALL ONE for me generally either but mostly you’ll see 1-2 week periods that are primarily defined by oneThere also are a lot of things that I just saw as aspects of my personality that are actually only shown in mania (an obvious example is the version of me that generally likes to act “publically eccentric” and also the version of me that is endlessly fascinated by things (June gasps at the sea, and then the pier, and then this tree, and then the clouds, and then the sun - oh! Isn’t it all beautiful?)But if I can recognize that these things exist on a track of sorts I can probably do a lot less self guilty shit and also be able to like. Know actively what set of decisions I should be using lately (such as directing mania to healthier activities, remembering the properly rest and appreciate calmer activities in depressy)Oh my god mania + insecurity is absolutely why I used to get myself into parasocial relationships for little phases

amikaYesterday at 11:51 PM

(sorry im here, just helping a friend with a design project live too)

critterdustYesterday at 11:51 PM

Oh yeah it’s np!! I just realized like. Ok I need to write these down(Me thinking) I think one thing that fucked me up a bit is like, as a kid anytime I would express manic energy my parents would either guide me at better uses of it or it’d just be written off as Me Beint Weird Sometimes And not a thing that had cycles. Basically I was treated as if I was choosing to exhibit a set of traitsBut Imagining that I just chose to be in this state really makes it difficult to properly interact with itAnd also that me having a strong desire to change to one state usually means a change is about to happenGenerally this involves a specific subjectHoly fuck - every single one of my fiction Entities is just a different maniaI genuinely feel like. A large amount of my best qualities are basically mania driven. But a lot of my worst ones too. and that’s something for me to take careful consideration of

October 21, 2019

critterdustToday at 12:08 AM

I’ve basically viewed most mania-driven traits with either sheer admiration or total shame depending on my perspective on them but there is a healthier way to see myself than thatand additionally I can’t be thinking of the manic self as my “true self” and the other selves as like, lesser forms

critterdustToday at 12:23 AM

When I’m feeling a desperate need of “confirmation” of some thing from another person socially is when I often act the weirdestI mean one way to relieve that is to receive confirmation of whatever the anxiety isbut anothe ris to mentallynlikenTo Notice that what I’m feeling isn’t really “real”. Like it obviously feels real and anxious / insecure but it’s not actually probably a legitimate one - which means I probably don’t need to address it in some (probably overly grand attempted) way either(it’s legit ok to not be reading these at this point btw I just, need to write this here now and then copy paste it for reasons I can’t explainadditionally even tho recognizing these patterns is useful and important I’m also not going to treat these as some total determinate of me - these are more like guidelines of how to examine my expected mental bias not like “oh I’m feeling depressed guess I better not even attempt to do anything” or etcWhile manic issues are definitely.. ok something to note for my internal state recognizing. I’m actually most now thinking of how it changes my behavior to othersas a more, like, concern(minor note my parents used to note how they thought I’d gotten extremely too high energy lately and this must be bc I always get kicked into a manic cycle whenever I go on a trip for some reason

critterdustToday at 12:40 AM

Ugh another thing I do while manic I need to stop doing is, I start to ignore social signals from people when I don’t like the signalwhich additionally creates this weird behavior where I try to maximize the output of positive signals with no thought at all to the creation of negativeswhich is - just, totally irrational! Since I still notice them and feel weird about them!I just behaviorally ignore their existence as if they had 10% the strength they do or somethingI want to say “June attempts to create positive signals to assuage an insecurity” is maybe the absolute most shameful action that I sometimes actThere’s a healthier way to engage with positivity and insecurity with friendships than that (and like, I usually understand this)

[noctomania]

How to: Research

These days people are eager to be noticed on their social media. Sometimes it's a joke they thought might be funny. Sometimes it's an impulse reblog. Sometimes it's spouting off a rant on a trending topic. One thing remains unpopular: critical thinking. Critical thinking determines the difference between wanting to be noticed and wanting to be right, as the two very rarely correlate. To avoid the awkwardness of being exposed in your ignorance it would do you a service to not only research what you know you don't know, but also to think critically about what you read and what you THINK you know. Before research, yiu need to address you personal bias. Much like a metabolism everyone has one and everyone's is different. You are not expected to manage a way to completely remove your bias, but yiu are expected to acknowledge it's existence and put it aside in order to do proper research and even then, outside "unbiased​" and otherly bias input is critically important in providing context that could alter the interpretation of other facts. This does not mean you have to contribute to anything or anyone you do not support or that you must believe them but listening to new information, whether for or against your own bias, can add important info. Bias comes in a variety of forms too and they aren't always easily recognizable so it helps to understand what are biases that exist and see if any apply. After acknowledging and setting aside you bias, you can start to research the topic. Teachers used to tell my classes "don't use Google or Wikipedia" to which i say bullshit, use critical thinking. Their main argument behind that guideline is that Wikipedia can be edited by anyone and Google is a mixed bag of fiction and nonfiction. While that's true, they are still valid sources to seek out other more reliable resources if you know what you're doing. Wikipedia is as simple as seeking the sources they refer to in the articles. Of course you want to make sure that is also a credible source which takes us to the Google part. So if you are researching something you'll know a number of keywords that you'd use in your search. Bias can be found in the vocabulary and phrasing of your searches. For example, if i am looking to find information on the variety of sex chromosome combinations, searching "sex chromosomes" is going to yield weak resources. I would need to narrow my criteria, the words and phrases im using to search. What would be a better way of triggering content relevant to my topic is involving more keywords, perhaps more like "diversity of sex chromosomes" or "variety in sex chromosome pairing" etc. So now you're getting content, websites listed that have keywords you used, but what is reliable? This is where the most critical thinking is required. There are different kinds of reliable resources but they may be found in different places, such as through Wikipedia. While the Wikipedia article itself is written potentially with bias, going back to the cited sources and reading for yourself in depth can clarify what may have been misinterpreted or completely ignored. Generally you can rely on site sources that end in .gov and .edu but if we know anything about bias is that it has no limits so even these sources require a certain level of critical thought and devil's advocacy. You must also pay attention to the dates. Sources >5yrs old are questionable as we are constantly learning more. While sites ending in .gov and .edu should be reliable sources of info, they aren't immune to bias. These kinds of sites often defer to "studies" which are usually scientifically informed investigation of a theory or subject. However researchers can be influenced by bias as well, and further more a study can be deemed invalid due to a number of reasons such as population size/variety of the subjects or other poor methodology. For a quick example: Let's say i was researching the correlation between oral health and apple consumption to research the validity of the popular "an apple a day keeps the dentist away" phrase. If i only test subjects who's bloodline has never shown any oral health issues then i have allowed a bias to corrupt my results. The same goes if i ONLY used subjects that had noted oral health issues in their bloodline. Either way the results will be skewed one way or the other. It may also help to research the researchers to see if they are reliable. I want to take a step back now to personal bias and unpacking "what we think we know". We are put into school at an incredibly young age when we are starting a critical cognitive growth spurt. We are fed a lot of information about the world around us as though it is concrete irrefutable information when reality is that things are not that simple. However things are simplified for the sake of quick absorption. Boy blue girl pink, that kind of oversimplification is obviously subjective content but all the same people default to it because it's all they have known where as centuries ago, those colors were different. If you really want the avoid your own ingrained bias, you really have to break down all you think you know according to what you have or have not personally experienced. If you have personally experienced something, though does not make you an ultimate authority, it is much more credible than relaying info that was force-fed to you in 6th grade back in 1998. When i care to be accurate/have the energy to pursue truth, there are several things i keep in mind: 1 nothing is simple. if something is referred to as being "simple" it's probably not and they likely left out what they didn't know. 2 nothing is forever. sources expire, things change, etc. 3 nobody knows everything 4 a lot about our world and how we live it is subject to the bias of those in control 5 your knowledge is limited by your experience and exposure. treat it that way and be humble. 6 challenge yourself bc you are less likely to piss yourself off than others are and you'll be able to answer their challenges easier if you practice with yourself first 7 Never ever assume. To assume anything is to deem yourself and ultimate authority on something even if that is not your intention, and also throw back to #1 even if it seems like a simple easy "everyone can agree" assumption remember that nothing is simple. If your would like to exercise your critical thinking in a less stressful forum than researching heavy topics you could try logic puzzles. Upgrade your mode of thinking. It takes practice but you can do it. Do it before that autonomy is taken from you. This is a suuuuuper watered down rant on researching for the simple person but research is very complex. I took a research course in grad school for a semester and let me tell you it's hard developing a research proposal that has no foreseeable bias while still being comprehensive to a broad audience. New sources are encouraged to write at a 5th grade reading level to make the info accessible to a broad audience but researchers don't have that kind of option otherwise their write ups would be so long to bring everyone at a 5th grade level up to speed. That being said, more effort can be put in by each individual and whike nobody is expected to be perfect, everyone is capable of doing research beyond the first thing that pops up on google.