#and this is coming from a bitch who writes fanfics

[uceyliyahh]

GUARDED

summary: Genesis has been protecting her heart ever since she filed for divorce and didn’t want to be in another relationship until he came around and changed her mind.

this fanfic is 18+ NO MINORS ALLOWED

warnings contain: emotional abuse, divorce, depression, fighting, masturbaiton, unprotected public sex, sexual harassment, mention of blood.

word count: 9.5k

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

smut warning: it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I am improving at the moment

Jimmy Uso x Genesis

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

again mdni you have been warned.

thanks to my friend @charmed-dreamssss for helping me with the title 🫶🏽

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️ @pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign @prettyfilmz @sharmelasworld @spiicii @formulafortyfour @theusotwinzcom @mingisfavgf

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @mjonthetrack

@charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @justazzi @xbriexx @celesteheartsjey @4milly @luuvprincess @yyaktayak @yana3sworld @shanthefemalerapper @bloodlineslut @bookuce @sheaabuttaababyy @li-da-savage @luvrsluxe

𝜯𝝕𝜺𝜾𝜺𝝂

𝜣𝒎𝜼𝒊𝒔𝝇𝒊𝜺𝜼𝝉

jonathanfatu, jadecargill, americannightmarecody, and others liked your post.

gigispovv: I’m his heaven on earth 🩷📍

jonathanfatu: ouuu my baby so fucking pretty dawg😩

gigispovv: @ jonathanfatu pretty for you bo 🫶🏽

jadecargill: girrrl you’ve been glowing honeyy I love that for you

biancabelairwwe: oh Jimmy has got our girl glowing 

jonathanfatu: @ biancabelairwwe been putting in that work you feel me 🙂‍↕️

gigispovv: @ jonathanfatu omfg shut up 😭😭

uceyjucey: yeeeet

jackieredmond: the outfit is eatinnnn

americannightmarecody: can’t believe Jimmy bagged my best friend

trinity_fatu: bitch when I catch you

gigispovv: @ trinity_fatu I wouldn’t mind a round two of whooping that ass again bitch so keep it cute especially around my nigga 🧍🏽‍♀️😜

read all comments.

3 weeks after Crown Jewel Kansas City, Missouri - 9:30AM

Sunlight streamed through the curtains, while birds sang cheerfully outside. Genesis and Jimmy were peacefully slumbering in their shared hotel room. Jimmy needed his rest before his interviews with his twin brother regarding their tag team title defense, and Genesis was looking forward to spending time with Jade, Liv, and Jackie later on.

Genesis was the first to stir from her sleep, her eyes fluttering open as she rubbed them to clear her vision. She glanced around briefly, only to find Jimmy nestled against her chest, his arm wrapped around her waist, snoring contentedly.

She carefully took her phone, trying not to disturb Jimmy, and glanced at the time—nine thirty in the morning. Knowing he needed to be up by twelve thirty for his afternoon interview, she made an effort to slip out of his hold and head to the elevators to prepare breakfast for both of them.

Understanding his nature, she realized he wouldn't easily release her grip as he pulled her closer in his slumber. Genesis let out a heavy sigh, fully aware of how possessive he could be. As she lay there, scrolling through her social media feed, she stumbled upon a message and voicemail from Zilla that sent a chill down her spine due to his ominous threats.

She made an effort to remain unfazed, reassured by the thought that Jimmy would always have her back. It was at that moment she noticed Jey's name flashing on her notifications.

Brothaa💪🏽📍: sooo wyaaa?

She chuckled at the message 

Gigi🤍: still In bed with yo’ clingy ass brother who won’t let me go fix us something to eat before yalls interview

Brothaa💪🏽📍: just push him off that’s what I do

Gigi🤍: then what? Yk how he gets in the morning especially when he’s horny Josh

Brothaa💪🏽📍: aye mans be brick up in the morning and first thing he wants is some coochie from his girl just saying sis 😭😭

Gigi🤍: men I swear 🙄

Brothaa💪🏽📍: yk he loves you Gigi 

Gigi🤍: ofc and I love him too but he needs to get his big ass up or imma let him starve 🙃

Brothaa💪🏽📍: big boy gotta eat but I’ll you down here hopefully he don’t keep you up there 😭😭

Gigi🤍: probably will we will see in a few minutes but hopefully I’ll be down there 😀😀

She glanced down at Jimmy, who was peacefully slumbering while clinging to her waist, reluctant to let her go. However, hunger gnawed at her, prompting her to make one final attempt to slip away without disturbing his rest. As she finally freed herself from his firm embrace, she quickly wrapped her silky robe around her and snatched her phone, noticing Jimmy stirring slightly in his dreams.

She laughed softly at him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek before stepping out the door. As she approached the elevator, she pressed the button and waited for it to arrive. While waiting, she scrolled through her social media feed, eager to catch up on the latest stories and updates from the wweshaderoom page.

As she did so, a voice called her name, drawing her gaze to the figure approaching down the hallway. It was Bianca. They embraced warmly before stepping back from each other.

“Hey girl! I see you snuck out to get something to eat too huh.” Bianca said as Genesis chuckled at her.

“Yes girl, he wouldn’t let me go and I was not about to give him some coochie on an empty stomach.” As the elevator chimed and the doors slid open, Genesis and Bianca stepped in together, eagerly pressing the button for the lobby.

“I know that’s right, I bet you five bucks they finna be texting us in a minute as soon as we leave this elevator.” She said.

Genesis was well aware of Jimmy's possessive nature, particularly when she was not around. The moment she distanced herself, he would transform into a wild creature, desperate for her presence. She shared with Bianca the message Zilla had sent her the previous night while she and Jimmy were nestled together in slumber.

Bianca urged her to inform Jimmy promptly, as he needed to take charge before the situation spiraled out of control. However, she hesitated to share the news, fully aware of Jimmy's unpredictable nature and his willingness to go to drastic measures, even if it meant resorting to violence against Zilla.

She was baffled by his inability to let go and seek out another partner, instead of relentlessly pursuing her and putting her life in jeopardy when he could easily be with someone willing to move on.

The elevators chimed as she and Bianca stepped out, chatting animatedly about the sight of everyone in the lobby enjoying breakfast together. She made her way to the catering area, preparing plates for herself and Jimmy to take back with her before heading to the elevators.

While she was preparing their plates, she sensed a gentle tap on her shoulder. Turning her head, she was greeted by Jade, who stood there beaming with a smile.

“So girl, when was you gonna tell me you fought Trinity?” Jade asked.

Initially bewildered, Genesis suddenly realized that her conflict with Trinity stemmed from jealousy over how Trinity was all over Jimmy, which infuriated her deeply.

“Oh, girl whenever Jimmy wasn’t all over me.” Genesis joked as her and Jade chuckled with each other, “I’m surprised he let you out instead of getting your back broken into two.” Genesis gave her the middle finger immediately while rolling her eyes.

“Girl, that nigga can wait for some coochie. A girl needs to eat and so does he. Before his interviews later on today we got everything planned for our girls day or what?” Jade nodded her head.

“Yess we got a lot of things planned you gotta spill everything about you and Jimmy girl we need to know everything.” Genesis was aware that her closest friend was eager to learn all the details about her budding romance with Jimmy; they had officially been a couple for nearly a month now.

Genesis and Jade finished preparing their plates, engrossed in conversation about their plans for the girls while Jimmy was off with Jey for interviews. Meanwhile, Genesis couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling from Zilla's threatening messages and voicemail that had come through the night before.

She hoped he would stay away and not disrupt their girls' day by causing a scene, harassing her for spending time with his cousin instead of him. To her, he was not intriguing; rather, he seemed desperate for something unattainable, and his attempts to take it from her left her feeling traumatized.

As she stacked her plate atop Jimmy's and approached the elevators, pressing the button and waiting for the doors to slide open, she sensed someone standing beside her. It wasn't until that person spoke that she acknowledged their presence.

“You must be Genesis right?” Carmelo said.

She turned her head towards his direction, “yeah I’m Genesis who’s asking?” Genesis replied.

“You must not know who I am, I’m Carmelo but everyone calls me Melo.” She gave a slight nod, forcing a smile that didn't reach her eyes, silently wishing for the elevator doors to open quickly to escape the impending conversation with him. “You single?”

And there it was.

“No, I have a man. He’s waiting on me.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “he’s a wrestler?”

What’s with all of the questions?

“Yes, and that’s all you need to know.” As the elevator chimed and the doors slid open, she stepped out, with Carmelo trailing closely behind her, while she pressed the button for the third floor.

An awkward silence enveloped them as Genesis shifted uncomfortably behind him, silently wishing he wouldn't pose any more questions for the rest of her stay, but her hope was dashed almost instantly. “I wonder how a pretty woman like yourself is down here by herself.”

“I was fixing him and I something to eat.”

“He couldn’t? Me personally I would’ve let my girl sleep while I go fix us something to eat.” What was his deal? And where was he getting at?

“Well that’s you Carmelo, my man is different and he needs to eat.” She wasn't subtly suggesting that Jimmy was her partner, yet it appeared that Carmelo was eager to meddle in her affairs.

He snickered, “he's probably ugly and not better looking than me.” With a dramatic eye roll, she signaled her disinterest in continuing the conversation. As they reached the third floor, she stepped out of the elevator ahead of him, striding down the hallway and taking a left towards the hotel room she shared with Jimmy.

As she pulled her key card from her pocket and unlocked the door, the sound of running water from the bathroom indicated that Jimmy was showering. Suddenly, she felt a playful slap on her ass, causing her to spin around and find Carmelo grinning at her mischievously.

“The fuck is yo’ issue? Don’t fucking touch me again or I won’t hesitate to get my nigga bro.” Genesis spat.

“Whatever little girl, see you at work.” He responded while walking past her.

With a dismissive laugh, she strode into the hotel room, firmly closing the door behind her. She set the food down on a nearby table before shedding her robe and clothes, making her way to the bathroom where Jimmy was waiting.

As she entered, the scent of his body wash enveloped the bathroom, enticing her closer. She pulled back the shower curtains and stepped in, wrapping her arms around his waist, making him flinch slightly at her unexpected embrace.

Jimmy begins to say, “Girl, don’t do that. Scared the hell out of me.” 

“My fault baby just wanted to surprise you.” Genesis replied with a smile on her face.

Genesis gazed in awe at his striking features, his hair slicked back and glistening with droplets of water cascading down his physique. He turned to her, his hands gliding down her hips, gripping them with a firm yet gentle touch.

“And where was yo’ fine ass at? leaving me like that.” She chuckled at him while trailing her fingers down his tattooed chest. “Was daddy looking for his baby?”

He leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips, “hell yeah I was looking for you princess, tryna run from this dick huh?”

“Ain’t nobody running baby, I was fixing us some breakfast downstairs. I ain’t scared.”

With a mischievous grin, Jimmy held her legs tightly around his waist, pressing her body against the icy shower wall, where she could sense his arousal pressing against her.

She held onto his neck tightly as he showered her neck with soft, lingering kisses that trailed down to her chest, eliciting soft moans from her at his unexpected caress. “J-Jimmy, Baby.”

“What mama? Can daddy get some hm?”

“You know I’m not gonna deny you, but I want us to eat first before the food gets cold.”

“A’ight then lil mama, we can do that but afterwards imma fuck the shit out of you.” She smiled and nodded while they shared a playful shower, exchanging kisses and flirtatious glances throughout.

—

Jimmy and Jey sat side by side during their interviews, engaging with numerous people about the tag team division in the company and speculating on who might seize the titles from their grasp.

During their conversation with the fans who had inquiries, one fan posed a question to Jimmy.

“Jimmy, do you have a special person in your life right now?” The fan asked as Jimmy and Jey looked at each other.

He truly did, and Genesis was his one and only, the girl who brought a smile to his face every single day they spent together.

“Yes, I do have someone special in my life right now besides my twin brother.” Jimmy replied.

“What is she like?”

Jimmy smiled, “she’s like a breath of fresh air and she calms my spirits down whenever I’m upset about anything and would always be there for me. She's a quiet person that keeps to herself and I loved that about her.” Everyone in the audience was awed at his response about Genesis, which was true that he loved her dearly.

“Do you get to see her everyday and is she pretty?”

He chuckled at the fan, “of course I get to see her everyday and yes she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with.” As the interview progressed and more questions about the tag team division were answered, the fan settled in, while Jimmy's thoughts drifted to Genesis. He wondered if she needed anything while spending time with the girls.

Despite the overwhelming thoughts of Genesis swirling in his mind, he remained determined to keep his focus and uphold his professionalism during the interviews and questions.

Once the interviews wrapped up, Jimmy made his way to the locker he shared with Jey, eager to address the issue plaguing his sweats. The thought of Genesis weighed heavily on his mind, feeling like it might just be his undoing. As he approached, he unexpectedly collided with Carmelo, and they exchanged a knowing glance.

“My fault dawg.” Just as Jimmy was about to turn and leave, Carmelo spoke up, grabbing his attention.

“Aye, you know Genesis right?” Carmelo asked.

He raised an eyebrow at him, “yeah, why?”

“She bad as hell ain’t she? Can’t believe someone had cuffed her up.” At this moment, he has captured Jimmy's complete focus, prompting a smirk in response to Carmelo's remarks about Genesis. “Yeah, she is bad as hell. too bad someone did cuff her up.”

“Man who you telling the way her ass was jiggling in that robe of hers I had to tap that.” The moment Jimmy admitted to licking the bottom of his lips while chuckling, his facial expression shifted dramatically.

Why didn’t she tell him about this?

“You wanna repeat that pretty boy?”

“What? That I tap that as—“ before he could even finish the sentence Jimmy delivered a fierce slap to his face, making Carmelo stagger slightly, his expression twisted in anger. “Yo! The fuck is yo’ issue?”

“I’d fucking trend lightly when it comes to my girl dawg, you got me?” That’s when Carmelo realized that Jimmy was indeed Genesis' boyfriend. 

“That’s yo’ girl uce? Genesis is your girlfriend?” He asked.

“Hell yeah, that’s my girl and you over here being desperate for her when she’s already taken so you better move the fuck around.” Carmelo wasn't one to back down, but given their public setting, he needed to maintain a professional demeanor with her.

“Man, whatever dawg.”

He clicked his tongue at Jimmy before striding off, leaving Jimmy to exhale heavily. Frustration simmered within him, both from anger and a longing for Genesis, who was out with her friends, and he didn't want to disturb her night.

As he entered the locker room, he swung the door shut behind him and sank onto the sofa, tugging down his sweatpants and boxers. His impressive eight-inch member sprang up, brushing against his stomach, with pre-cum glistening at the tip.

He seized his phone, approached the camera, and hit record as he slicked his hand with saliva, rhythmically stroking himself while leaning back into the sofa, lost in thoughts of Genesis.

He imagined her hands gliding up and down his shaft, or the sensation of him thrusting into her throat until she could barely handle it; the thought alone drove him wild. “I miss you baby, fuck.” He emitted a low groan as vivid images of her enveloping him filled his mind, the sensation overwhelming him completely.

He found himself lost in memories of her riding him passionately, her cries of his name echoing in his ears as she pleaded for more, completely consumed by desire—Jimmy cherished the way she would soothe him, gently caressing his head during moments of discomfort and exploring every inch of his body with her tender touch.

He moistened his lips and pulled them in as he hurried along, his hand moving swiftly, leaving his legs trembling with weakness.

“Fuck, baby. Daddy misses you so much.” His body went rigid, and his legs shook with anticipation as he imagined all the things he longed to do with her upon her return.

As he quickened his pace, he could feel himself growing firmer in his grip, his thumb smoothly caressing the tip. A moan escaped his lips, calling out her name, while his body trembled, almost causing him to lose hold of his phone.

His eyes snapped open as a wave of tension gripped his stomach, signaling that he was just moments away from reaching his peak.

“Genesis, oh baby. fuckk.” He whispered softly while quickening his steps, feeling his muscles tense yet staying motionless.

Jimmy's mind was entirely occupied by Genesis, the girl he adores and treats to lavish outings. The one he passionately loves every night, holding her legs high as he hears her call out his name, tears of pleasure streaming down her cheeks. His beloved Genesis.

In the depths of his mind, he could hear her voice echoing back, “you gonna cum for me daddy?” With him responding in a low but deep tone, “y-yes mamas, I’m finna nut baby. Daddy is finna nut for you.” He moaned with a low growl escaping his lips.

He heard it again, “I wanna have your babies daddy, I want them all big daddy.” In that moment, his body reacted as powerful waves of warmth surged from him, sending him into a dizzying state of ecstasy. “Genesis, shiiit, Gigi baby.” A soft whimper escaped his lips as he came down from his high. Jimmy's breaths grew labored, his heart pounding as he sensed the heat emanating from his body.

He halted the video recording and promptly dispatched it to Genesis without a moment's pause. As he placed his phone down, he felt the sticky residue on his hand and thighs, prompting him to grab some paper towels for a quick clean-up. At that moment, a knock echoed from the locker room door.

“Yo! Uce! You good in there twin!” Jey hollered behind the door.

Shit All he could focus on while tidying up his chaos was ensuring it didn't look like he had just indulged in a moment of self-pleasure moments before.

“Yeah! I’m good Uce! I’ll be out there in a few!” Jimmy adjusted his sweatpants and boxers as he heard his phone start to beep.

When he grabbed it he had seen that Genesis liked the video he had sent along with a message.

Gigi🤍: daddy misses his baby?

He smiled at the message before replying back.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: I miss you baby daddy wants his lil girl home 😩

Gigi🤍: I’ll be home daddy that was a lot coming out from you

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: I’m sexually frustrated baby 

Gigi🤍: ik daddy just be patient for me please 🥺

He despised the way she kept him waiting when all he wanted was her presence right then and there, and he truly meant it.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: how long you gonna be out? You need me to send you some money?

Gigi🤍: I won’t be out for that long baby and maybe to get my nails done and toes so you can suck on em while you’re bending me up like pretzel 🙂‍↕️

The image of her contorted like a pretzel as he ravaged her sent a rush of desire through him, reigniting his arousal.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: lil freak aren’t you baby? I’ll send some over 

Gigi🤍: I’m a lil freak for you daddy you brought that side out of me 

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: mhm sure did princess got me all bricked up at these interviews baby

Gigi🤍: lemme see

Jimmy lowered his sweatpants and boxers, watching as his erection sprang to life before he quickly pulled his sweats back up.

Gigi🤍: hmm daddyyy it’s so big 

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: you can take it like you always do Gigi

Gigi🤍: might run from it

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: and I might have yo’ ass bent the fuck over with those arms behind yo’ back if you do don’t run from me 😈

Gigi🤍: okay daddy okay I promise but I’ll be home soon okay I love you

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: I love you too baby 

As Jimmy slid his phone into his pocket, he opened the door to find Jey standing there, phone in hand, looking up at him expectantly.

“You good?” 

“Yeah, I’m straight c’mon let’s go.”

—

Rockstar Nails & Spa - Nail Salon Kansas City, Missouri. - 5:30PM

Genesis and her friends were at the nail salon, pampering their nails and toes while sharing some scandalous gossip about the other girls, revealing secrets about who was secretly hooking up or about to be let go.

As Genesis sat lost in thought, her mind kept drifting back to the video Jimmy had sent her, where he was pleasuring himself and whispering her name—his longing for her was palpable during her absence, and she cherished that devotion, knowing that most men wouldn't show such care for their partner like Jimmy did.

Amidst the haze of Jimmy's moans and groans, she caught Jade's voice calling out to her, prompting her to shift her focus towards Jade.

“Girl, you’ve been so quiet lately. Is everything okay?” Jade asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay girl. Just thinking right now.” Genesis replied with a reassuring smile.

“About what? Yo’ nigga? Is Jimmy missing you right now?” She could easily make a comment like that, fully aware of her best friend's curiosity about her and Jimmy—Genesis nodded in agreement.

That’s when Jackie chimed in, “Gigi, is the dick bomb or what? I heard from a lot of girls in the locker room saying how that Samoan dick is dangerous.” Every girl in the room turned their gaze towards Genesis, anticipation hanging in the air. Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red as she averted her eyes, grinning widely while the girls collectively gasped in surprise.

“Gigiii, is that dick really good?” Bianca asked.

“Oh my god, yes it’s like the best thing ever Binky.” Genesis reacted, her thoughts swirling with the memory of their passionate encounter on the bed after breakfast this morning.

As she cried out his name with fervor, her legs draped over his shoulders, he drove into her with such intensity that she erupted in pleasure, soaking him completely and leaving a damp mark on her underwear.

His voice echoed in her thoughts, asserting its presence over her. “this my pussy baby, this shit belongs to daddy c’mon squirt on me some more baby let it all out.”

His deep, raspy voice guiding her through it left her utterly undone. “There she goes mamas, look at you making a mess all over me this morning fuck baby.” It had her rubbing her thighs together.

“I see Jimmy has been putting in that work he got our girl glowing like a damn Christmas lights.” Genesis rolled her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. The memory of Carmelo's earlier slap on her backside lingered uncomfortably, igniting a fierce urge within her to retaliate and express her frustration.

Bianca begins to say, “so Gigi, personal question. Do you and Jon want to have kids?” Genesis looked back at her with a smile on her face.

“Yes, of course. We talked about it all the time in the middle of the night when we couldn't sleep. We already have names covered, you know, just deep conversations.” She said.

For some time now, Jimmy has expressed his desire to have children, a sentiment that blossomed after Cody introduced him to her. She believed he would make an excellent father, yet lately, he has been taking risks by not using protection and relying on Plan B afterward, which has left her feeling anxious.

She had kept silent about it, unsure of how to approach the topic, so she decided to let it be until she felt prepared to discuss it. She had been considering getting birth control to allow him the freedom to climax inside her whenever he desired, but she was still uncertain if she was ready for that step.

The idea of being pregnant again filled her with fear, making her hesitant about having more children. The painful memories of her experience with Quincy and the heartbreak of losing their first child weighed heavily on her. The stress and physical pain she endured due to his lack of commitment haunted her, leaving her terrified of the prospect.

“Has marriage been talked about during those late night conversations?”

Marriage.

a healthy marriage.

Genesis nodded her head, “it has every once in a while but that’ll happen sooner or later.”

Genesis desired Jimmy as her husband, yet she was filled with fear. She wasn't entirely ready for marriage or motherhood due to her past experiences, but she also worried that if she made him wait, he might walk away, and that was something she couldn't bear.

“You don’t believe it’ll happen?” Jackie asked.

“No, I do. It’s just you guys know I’ve been through a lot and I just don’t wanna move fast with this you know? I love Jon a lot but ion wanna rush into anything.” Genesis replied.

“Of course girl we understand completely, I hate the fact that Quincy messed that up for you and then with  Zilla around acting all crazy and shit I see why Jon is so crazy about you.”

Yeah he was indeed crazy, crazy as hell at that.

“Did I tell yall I ran into Carmelo this morning? That nigga was flirting hella hard with me and slapped my ass too.” The girls gasped while looking at her. “For real? Does Jon know about this? Because he will beat his ass.”

She shook her head, “I haven’t told him about it yet, ion like seeing him all angry.”

“We understand but that’s his job to feel angry because some dude is tryna hit on his girl so of course that will be his first reaction.” They weren’t wrong, it was his job to protect her from anyone and be there for her especially if they do things like that.

Can you really fault him? He's already contemplating harming his cousin, and who knows what he'll do to Carmelo if he discovers the truth. As the gossip continued to swirl, Genesis noticed Jimmy's name flashing on her notifications.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: Gigi

She texted him back.

Gigi🤍: yes? Why does it feel like I’m in trouble 😭

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: you not but why you ain’t tell me that Carmelo fat head ass was flirting with you?

Gigi🤍: I told you how I am with telling you stuff like that

Jimmy❤️‍🩹:  and I told you, you can’t be hiding stuff like that from me Gigi

Gigi🤍: I’m sorry 😔 

She felt bad for not telling him about it this morning. It just slipped her mind completely.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: I’m not mad at you baby 

Gigi🤍: you promise?

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: yes baby I just need you to communicate with me more aight?

Gigi🤍: okay 🙂

Jimmy❤️‍🩹:  yall almost done?

Gigi🤍: yeah I’m getting my toes done rn and I think you’ll like em 🙂‍↕️

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: hmm can’t wait to see yo’ cute ass 

Gigi🤍: me too I miss you and the girls are over here gossiping 😭😭

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: you’ll see me baby just have fun with yo’ girls aight

Gigi🤍: okayyy see you boo I love you

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: I love you too mamas 🫶🏽

Genesis set her phone aside, having caught Jade speaking to her.

“Was that Jimmy? He misses you huh?” Jade asked.

“Yes, he misses me.” Genesis replied.

“Oh girl if you wanna be with yo’ man go ahead.” Genesis laughed softly, shaking her head as she watched her friend getting a pedicure; she found it unbearable when her best friend playfully teased her.

“He can wait.”

“The more he’ll wait the more he’ll pound you into the bedsheets.” Genesis had hit Jade on her shoulders while feeling her face being flushed all over again. “Oh my god, bitch you’re so annoying.”

She chuckled at her best friend, “what? I’m just speaking the truth Gigi, I know he be having you screaming from the top of your lungs.”

Genesis covered her ears like a little kid not wanting to hear any more of her best friends' shenanigans at the moment.

As Genesis concluded her interview with The Alpha Academy, she reached for her phone and walked toward the camera to check her makeup. Just then, she heard someone calling her name from behind. Turning around, she spotted Carmelo approaching, prompting a deep sigh from her.

With her arms crossed tightly over her chest, she shot him a piercing glare that conveyed her disapproval. “What’s up Melo?”

“Nun, little girl. Was just checking you out.” Carmelo said as he had a cocky smile on his face.

“Checking me out? You know I got a nigga right? He’s crazy.” Carmelo chuckled at her while placing his hands over his hips.

“Yeah, his big Samoan ass ain’t gonna do shi. I’m just tryna talk to you shawty.” This situation was becoming increasingly awkward for her. What gives the guys from the NXT roster the impression that they can waltz in here and act however they please?

“Well ion have nun to say to you Melo, I got things to do.” She was being completely dishonest to dodge a conversation with Carmelo, who was merely flirting with her as she tried to leave. Just then, he caught her by the arm, halting her in her tracks.

“C’mon shawty why you being like that?” Carmelo questioned her as she yanked her arm away from him.

“Nigga because I have a nigga? What the fuck else do I gotta explain to yo’ stupid ass that I have a nigga?” Genesis rasped as she felt herself getting irritated by the second.

Just as he was about to speak, he noticed Jimmy approaching from behind Genesis, his hand resting possessively around her waist while she gazed up at his towering 6'3" frame.

Carmelo felt Jimmy's gaze cutting into his very being, leaving him shaken to the core.

“Everything good over here mamas.” Jimmy asked as he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“Yeah, I was just about to head out to get something to eat until Melo over here wanted to talk.” As she looked up at him with her innocent, doe-like eyes, the way he gazed down at her with his alluring stare sent a rush of warmth pooling in her panties.

He shot a quick look at Carmelo before turning back to her with a grin that was anything but innocent; it was the kind of smile that screamed 'I’ll take you out if you don’t stop chatting with my girl' as he tousled his hair.

“He wanted to talk huh? Was it important if not you can get to steppin dawg.” Genesis sensed the palpable tension in the air as they locked eyes, each gaze heavy with unspoken words.

Carmelo scoffed at him, “we was just talking dawg no need to get protective.” 

“That’s my job as her man to protect her so I would advise you tread lightly you got me?” As Carmelo turned away from the couple, he rolled his eyes in exasperation. In that moment, Genesis stepped in front of Jimmy, embracing him by wrapping her arms around his neck.

His hands gripped her hips tightly as he looked down at her petite frame, while she rose onto her tippy toes to press her lips against his.

“You look sexy being all protective and angry baby.” Genesis complimented. 

“I do huh?” Their faces hovered just inches apart, with their noses gently brushing against one another.

“Yeah, you do. And I know you’ve been waiting patiently for me.” She kissed his lips while he responded to it. “Hell yeah, got me out here waiting and shi with these fools tryna flirt with you ion like that you belong to me.”

She showered him with additional kisses, sparking an intense make-out session that surrounded them both. Their lips intertwined slowly and passionately as Jimmy tenderly lifted her thighs, guiding her onto the nearby equipment box, settling himself between her legs.

His hands slid down to cupped her ass cheeks with a squeeze pressing his stiff member between her legs.

Their tongues twirled playfully within each other's mouths as Genesis nibbled on his lower lip, tugging it back before diving back into the kiss, blending their warm saliva together.

“I’m sorry daddy.” She murmured between his lips.

He smirked before speaking, “you gon’ be sorry when I fuck this pussy up huh?” He murmured back.

His voice resonated with a deep, gravelly tone as he spoke to her, igniting a wave of desire that left her feeling more aroused than ever before. He kissed a path from her lips to her jawline, descending to her neck, where he suckled gently, claiming her as his own. A soft moan escaped her lips as she wrapped her legs around his waist, surrendering to the moment.

“Where you want it huh? Right here ain’t nobody coming.” She had never engaged in public intimacy before, and the mere thought of being discovered sent her anxiety soaring to new heights.

But she loved the danger.

She playfully tugged at his waistband, urging him to remove it, while she slid down her pants and panties, revealing her glistening wetness in the light, signaling that she was fully prepared for him.

“Hmm, nasty as fuck mamas. Wanna do this shit out in the open.” Without hesitation, Jimmy entered her slick warmth, driving his hips deeply as she clung to his neck for balance.

“Fuck, this pussy wet as fuck baby.” Jimmy grunted.

“Yes, right there Jimmy. Right there.” Genesis moaned softly.

“Right here baby? Huh?” He teased her as she experienced the sensation of him pressing against her cervix, making her arch her back in ecstasy.

He pressed his lips to hers again, the kiss fierce and passionate, their teeth colliding as he thrust into her with an intensity unmatched. He quickened his rhythm, the sound of his hips crashing against her thighs reverberating through the corridors.

He explored various depths within her slick warmth, as she softly whispered his name, meant solely for his ears.

“This my fucking pussy ain’t it princess.”

“Y-yes, fuck Jimmy. This is all yours baby.”

“It’s mine?” He plunged deeper into her, pushing her to the brink as waves of ecstasy clouded her thoughts. “Yess, Daddy. It’s all yoursss.” Hearing her whine through his thrust satisfied him deeply.

At that moment, she could sense the head of his member pressed firmly against her cervix, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her, while her nails clawed into his skin, eliciting a sharp hiss from him, though he welcomed the pain.

Their foreheads touched as they locked eyes, his lips brushing against hers before he pulled back, both of them captivated by the sight of his shaft gliding in and out of her, her creamy essence enveloping him, making it effortless for him to thrust deeply.

He effortlessly encouraged her to embrace her wild side, never imagining they would end up making love in the very workplace they shared.

At that moment, they heard footsteps approaching, prompting Jimmy to swiftly cover her mouth with his big hand. He moved slowly, his face conveying a silent warning. Fortunately, they were hidden from view, the sound of someone chatting on the phone masking their actions.

With deliberate intent, Jimmy thrust deeper into her, eliciting a gasp as her eyes rolled back, overwhelmed by the sensation of her own arousal.

After the individual departed, Jimmy released his grip from her mouth, leaving her in a daze, her lips parted in shock as he walked away, rendering her utterly speechless.

She repeatedly tightened and relaxed around him, eliciting a soft grunt from his lips.

He encircled her throat with his hand, gazing deep into her soul as he witnessed her unraveling before him. For a fleeting moment, it seemed as if she were floating on cloud nine.

“You so dangerous mamas got me out here fucking you like a slut.” Jimmy growled. “You my slut baby?”

“I’m your slut daddy, I’m your good slut daddy. Shit daddy.” Genesis managed to breathe out.

“Nobody can’t fuck you like I can baby?”

“You do it the best daddyyy, nobody can beat this pussy up like you do. Fuck I love you Jimmy.” She sensed her abdomen clenching as the waves of pleasure surged closer, the climax approaching rapidly.

He kissed her lips, “I love you too mamas.” He was rotating his hips, skillfully stimulating her g-spot repeatedly until she could no longer handle it, tapping on his shoulders for a break.

“Un-Un, you gon’ wait until I tell you cum you hear me.” He rasped, causing her to whine at his request.

“Dadddy, I can’t take it anymore.” She whined.

He gave her left ass cheek a smack while he gripped her throat a little bit tighter not trying to hurt her but to show off his dominance. “Take this fucking dick like you been doing baby. And hold that shit.” His voice lowered several tones as he spoke, thrusting deeply into her.

He thrust powerfully into her, her moans resonating around them, overshadowed solely by the thunderous impact of their bodies meeting with intensity.

The air thickened with an intoxicating aroma of longing, and as tears cascaded down her cheeks, she craved freedom. Consumed by emotion, she loosened her hold on her legs, trying to push him away from her waist, only to be met again with the sharp slap of his hand on her left thigh.

“Un-Un don’t fucking run now, c’mere and take it.”

“Daddy please, please please. Can I cum baby?” Her desperate plea for him to allow her to completely surrender herself to him ignited a thrilling desire within him.

“Keep begging for me baby, tell daddy how much you loved this dick I want everyone to know who you belong to.” He plunged into her on the apparatus, experiencing the familiar surge of desire as he approached the height of ecstasy. “Jimmy!”

“I love it so much Jimmy, this is best dick I ever had daddy please let me cummm.” She was on the edge of madness, her fingers digging into his back, drawing a quick gasp of pain from him, but he appeared completely unaffected by it. “tell me some more baby.”

She lost it, “fuckkkk I love you daddy, I love this dick soo much daddy. cum inside of me daddy please fuckk.” A rush of feeling washed over her as it smoothly wrapped around him, warmth flowing down her legs, her body quaking beneath him—overcome and drained.

With every forceful push, his actions grew more erratic, a deep growl rumbling from his throat as he savored the feeling, rivulets of sweat streaming down his back and chest.

The air surrounding them was an intriguing mix of warmth and chill. She held him close as Jimmy withdrew from the kiss, nestling his face into the gentle curve of her neck. “I’m about to fucking nut Gigi, shit I’m about to nut. Lemme cum inside of you.”

“Yes daddy cum inside of me, fill me up with your nut.”

“Mhm, lemme fill this pussy up baby.”

He leaned his head back, his eyes swirling as he pushed into her, his hold strong around her neck.

“Oh, F-fuck. Gigiii fuck.” A low, primal groan escaped his beautiful lips as he felt his warmth surge forth in thick streams, completely filling her as she clung to him with fervor.

He entered her gently, ensuring that none of his essence escaped before withdrawing, observing the mingling of their fluids—he buried his face in her neck, breathing heavily as their chests rose and fell in unison.

Her body quivered with excitement as she clung to his waist, savoring his soft, wet kisses on her neck. She caressed her thighs to calm her racing heart—his lips journeyed from her neck to her jawline, finally meeting hers in a passionate embrace. They shared a moment of bliss before gently parting, their foreheads resting against one another.

She looked into his eyes innocently biting the bottom of her lips.

Jimmy begins to say “Fuck, you too fucking pretty for your own good baby.” He said. “You would look so good having my kids, but I know you don’t want that right now. I'm sorry this is becoming a thing.” He apologized.

Genesis shakes her head cupping his face with her small hands, “it’s okay, I’m not mad at you. I wouldn’t mind having your kids one day but for right now let’s just focus on us first.” 

“It just feels good to nut inside of you, I wanna keep filling you up with my nut.”

“I know you do, but we can’t keep making this a habit. It'll mess up my ph balance, especially taking them plan b pills, be scaring me too.”

He gave a nod as he adjusted his sweatpants and boxers, assisting Genesis in doing the same, her body unsteady after their recent workout.

He grasped her perspective, wishing to ensure she felt at ease with their actions, while also aiming to concentrate on their mutual growth.

“A’ight then baby, lemme go run to the store to get that pill okay?” Jimmy said.

With a playful chuckle, Jimmy assisted her to her feet, noticing her wobbly knees. He scooped up her belongings and lifted her into his arms in a bridal carry, striding confidently toward the exit.

—

Kansas City Marriott Country Club Plaza - 10:45PM

As Jimmy lounged on the bed, engrossed in his TV show, Genesis lay beneath the blankets, blissfully unaware and softly snoring after a long night.

She lay nestled among the pillows, her body curled on her stomach, as Jimmy gently massaged her back in soothing circles, allowing her to drift into a peaceful slumber. While he watched TV, the sudden buzz of his phone interrupted the tranquility, prompting him to reach for it and check a text from his twin brother.

He unlocked his phone while seeing what Jey wanted at the moment.

Twin⚡️: yo twin

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: what’s up?

Twin⚡️:  why the fuck is Carmelo on Instagram talking shit 

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: what’chu mean?

That’s when Jey had sent a screenshot from Carmelo’s instagram story saying how he would crack Genesis if she wasn’t with that Samoan bitch and that made Jimmy feel some type of way.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: he must’ve thought this shit was a game he don’t know how crazy I can get 

Twin⚡️: say the word and we’ll jump his ass I got his hotel room number 

Jimmy glanced at Genesis, who was nestled in a serene slumber, then shifted his gaze back to his phone—he realized she would be disheartened to find him missing from their bed when she awoke.

But he wasn’t finna let some NXT bitch talk shit about her or him period.

Jimmy❤️‍🩹: c’mon let’s go and hurry back before Genesis wakes up being pissed at me.

Twin⚡️: aight bet

With that, Jimmy rose from the bed, sliding his phone into his pocket as he glanced over at Genesis to ensure she was sound asleep before he quickly donned a shirt and slipped on his slides.

At that moment, he noticed Genesis stirring in her slumber, rolling onto her side, the blankets snugly wrapped around her form.

As Jimmy quietly closed the door behind him, he took hold of the card key, careful not to disturb Genesis, who was still asleep, while he noticed his twin brother making his way down the hallway.

They exchanged friendly daps before embracing tightly, then released each other as they strolled towards Carmelo's hotel room.

“Is Gigi sleeping?” Jey asked.

“Yeah, she was asleep before I left. I pray she doesn't wake up all grumpy.” Jimmy replied as Jey chuckled at him.

“Aye twin, that’s yo’ girl dawg. You can handle her grumpiness.” His brother was right; Jimmy was capable of managing her emotions, even when she was hurt by his departure without a word.

They veered left, making their way down the corridor towards Carmelo's hotel room—Jimmy was serious about Genesis and how these guys at work were trying to hit on her whenever she was alone.

As they reached the door, Jey pounded on it while he and Jimmy stood poised, eager for a confrontation. When Carmelo finally swung the door open, he was met with their intense stares, as if he were a target waiting to be hunted.

“The fuck is yall doing here?” Carmelo questioned them.

Jimmy and Jey exchanged glances before turning their attention to Carmelo. With a swift motion, Jimmy seized Carmelo by the neck, constricting his breath, while Jey firmly closed the door. Jimmy pressed Carmelo against the wall, and Jey delivered a powerful punch to his stomach, eliciting a pained groan from Carmelo as he doubled over in distress.

He released his grip on Carmelo's throat just as Jimmy landed a powerful right hook to his face, while Jey delivered a swift knee to his stomach, sending him crashing down to his knees.

Jimmy had tugged at his hair, forcing him to face him, his gaze cutting deep into his very essence. “You not talking shit no more huh pretty boy?” Jimmy rasped.

“Talkin allat that shit about cracking my girl if she wasn’t with me? Nah see ion okay about Gigi but u didn’t listen when I told yo’ ass the first time.” He hurled Carmelo across his hotel room like a toy, crashing him to the floor with force.

He mounted him and relentlessly pounded his face, blood streaming from his nose and lips. Finally, Carmelo summoned enough strength to shove him away, delivering a powerful right hook that sent Jimmy crashing into the chair behind him, giving Melo the upper hand.

Carmelo was mercilessly pummeling him, delivering brutal kicks to his gut until Jey appeared from behind, wrapping his arm around him and cutting off his breath. Jimmy staggered to his feet, feeling the sting of blood trickling from his split lip—Melo had left his mark.

He ran his tongue over his lips, savoring the metallic taste of blood, like a wild man charging at Carmelo, delivering a brutal punch to his gut that forced blood to spill from his mouth—this was merely a warning.

He seized an empty chair and slammed it into his stomach, eliciting a cry of agony. He continued this brutal assault repeatedly until he finally hurled the chair to the floor.

Jimmy had cradled his chin making him look at him as Carmelo was trying to fight off from Jey’s grasp.

“The next time you wanna post some shit about my girl I won’t hesitate to put you in the fucking hospital you got me?” Jimmy said.

Carmelo shook his head in frustration as Jey released his grip, sending him crashing to the ground. He glared up at the twins, seething with anger, yet he knew better than to provoke them after the beating he had just endured.

Jimmy glanced at his bruised knuckles, tenderly rubbing them before he and Jey stormed out, slamming the door behind them and leaving Carmelo in a pool of blood.

Jimmy and Jey strolled back to his hotel room, gazing at one another.

“You think she’s gonna trip?” Jimmy asked.

Jey shrugged his shoulders before saying something, “may—“ At that moment, the hotel room door swung open, revealing Genesis with her arms crossed and a serious look on her face as she caught sight of the twins staring back at her.

She gazed at Jimmy, her heart sinking as she spotted his split lip and battered knuckles. Concern washed over her features as she gently cupped his chin, studying his face. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, realizing he had found himself in trouble again.

“Get in the room now, so I can treat your wound.” She said sternly.

He gave his brother a quick pat before stepping into the room. Genesis flashed a smile at Jey, wishing him goodnight as she closed the door, then moved towards her purse to gather the supplies needed to tend to his injury.

Without uttering a word, she observed him as he yanked his shirt off, carelessly tossing it aside, revealing his chiseled physique and flexing muscles. Once she gathered what she needed, she approached him, positioning herself between his legs.

He looked up at her, noticing the irritation etched on her face while his hands rested on her waist, drawing her nearer as she settled onto his lap, straddling him. She started to soak a cotton ball with peroxide, cautioning him about the impending sting.

She gently pressed the damp cotton against his split lip, eliciting a sharp hiss of pain from him. She reassured him that the sting would be brief as she tended to the injury on his lower lip.

A hush enveloped them as she concentrated on tending to his injury, feeling his hand glide down her backside, gently cradling her curves while his gaze remained fixed on her careful movements.

“You mad at me baby?” Jimmy asked in a deep raspy tone.

She took a glance at him then back at his wound causing him to squeeze her ass cheeks. “Babyyyy talk to me mama I’m sorry.” He begged.

Genesis finished tending to his wound, discarding the blood-soaked cotton ball into the nearby trash. He then rose from his lap and walked over to the table, where he began to return her belongings to her purse.

As she engaged in her task, she suddenly felt two powerful arms encircle her waist, accompanied by soft, lingering kisses trailing down her back, prompting her to turn and meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry baby, don’t be mad at me. I had to let Melo know what it was. I can't let him disrespect you mama.”

Understanding his instinct to shield her, Genesis let out a deep sigh and embraced him tightly, knowing she couldn't hold any anger towards him.

She softly pressed her lips against his before withdrawing, "I'm not angry, just let me know next time, okay? I really dislike it when you don't inform me about your whereabouts, particularly if you're with Jey," she expressed.

“My fault mamas, didn’t mean to leave like that.” He found himself captivated by her nightgown, which clung to her curves perfectly, prompting him to lift her by her legs and wrap them around his waist.

He guided her to the bed, gently pressing her onto the cool sheets while he hovered above her, planting playful, wet kisses along her neck, making her giggle in delight.

Her fingers wove through his hair as he teasingly tickled her sides, making her squirm with delight beneath his playful touch.

“Jimmyyyy stoppp.” She begged while trying to fight him off of her laughing.

“Or what?” His voice resonated with a deep, husky timbre that sent a shiver down her spine, leaving her feeling damp and sticky against her thighs.

“Imma bite the fuck out of you Jimmy, get up.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “you gon’ bite me mama?”

“Hell yeah imma bite you if you don’t get yo’ big ass off of me.” She began to engage in a playful struggle, kicking at him and wrapping her legs around his head in an attempt to choke him, but he retaliated by biting her thighs.

With a swift motion, she pushed him aside as she rose from the bed, both of them standing tall and exchanging smirks. They were locked in a playful standoff, each waiting for the other to make a move. But she was the first to act, dashing towards him and attempting to tackle him onto the bed. Her plan succeeded, sending him sprawling back onto the sheets with her landing triumphantly on top.

She bent closer to his neck, playfully nibbling and leaving love bites that made him hiss in response to the sharp sting, all while she gently sucked on his skin.

“You not playing fair mama.” Jimmy said.

“I don’t care you deserve it.” Genesis replied as she continued to place hickies on his neck.

As she whimpered, she felt his hand land on her ass with a sharp smack, prompting him to flip her over and draw her closer to his hips. He pinned her arms above her head, locking eyes with her as she gazed up at him with an innocent expression.

He kissed her lips a few times before interlacing his fingers with hers.

“You too fucking pretty baby, I can’t wait to marry yo’ cute ass and have my kids.” She recalls the moment Quincy expressed his doubts, which made her question Jimmy's sincerity; however, deep down, she understood that Jimmy was different from Quincy—he was genuine.

“You wanna marry me?” 

“Of course I do baby, I want you to be mine forever.” Jimmy pressed his lips against hers while she encircled his neck with her arms, drawing him nearer to intensify the kiss as he nestled between her legs.

His fragrance danced in her nostrils as he buried his face in the curve of her neck.

“I love you Gigi.” Jimmy said.

“I love you too Jimmy, I’m so glad you came into my life.”

gigispovv has posted on their story!

jonathanfatu replied to your story: oh mamas them nails and toes need to be sucked on cuz fuck girl 😩

biancabelairwwe replied to your story: omggg he loves you so much 

uceyjucey replied to your story: maneee he’s spoiling you rotten Gigi 😭😭

carmelohayes replied to your story: oh? I see he got money huh 

jadecargill replied to your story: Girrrrl that man pays for everything and them flowers are so cuteee

jackieredmond replied to your story: I LOVE THIS FOR YOU GIRL

americannightmarecody replied to your story: JIMMY IS THE MANNN

yaonlylivonce replied to your story: ATP GET HIS INITIALS TATTED ON YOU GIRL CUZ THATS YOUR MAN

GUARDED

a/n: Carmelo better watch out because Jimmy does not play with it comes to Genesis so he better tread lightly fr fr.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

[fullsunstrawberry]

some toxic fans are calling a popular streamer a sasaeng for having back stage passes to a concert…PLEASE FOCUS YOUR HATE ON REAL SASAENGS 😭✋

[m4rs-ex3]

perhaps Tate’s Cult was too hard to resist

[vonkarma2]

had a dream where I tried to pitch my childhood favorite book series to someone as “the boys but with fairytales instead of superheroes” I cannot express to you how much that sentiment is not true

[yallthemwitches]

Like a lot of other authors/content creators in the HP fandom, I am feeling a sense of heaviness over the rulings that happened in the UK and feel the need to speak on my (albeit very complicated) feelings.

What JKR is doing is terrible. It will ruin lives. It will end lives.

If you feel like that is being hyperbolic, please go look up the suicide rates for the trans community. It's a staggering number and it only grows as people seeking information, comfort, and support are locked out of proper resources due to heinous legislations like the one passed yesterday.

It saddens me too because I know that so many in the LGBTIQA+ have found characters/stories in the HP universe that have spoken to them and helped to understand their personal journeys---only to have that comfort ripped away by the very person who created them.

If you can permit me to be personal for a second: My brother is trans and before/during his transition (this was early 2010s) he always cited Remus Lupin as one of the foundations for coming to terms with his trans identity because he saw some of his own internal struggle in Lupin's character. He even went so far as to write a letter to JKR (which, thank GOD he never sent...) thanking her for creating a character that aided him with the complicated feelings he had when there were no other resources for him.

My brother is now a psychologist specializing in the young trans community and speaking to him recently, he has said that he comes across this same story constantly and each one ends in tragedy because that little piece of solace and comfort was not just taken from them, but told them that no, actually. You thought wrong to see yourself in this character. You don't matter.

Watching what happened yesterday and knowing the long history of bigotry JKR has spouted for years now weighs heavy on my heart every time I step into this fandom and often I question if I should still contribute to it. I know it's not much, but I would like to share some of the things that keep me going--even when it all looks really fucking bleak:

Fanfiction and fanart are, at their foundation, anticapitalist works--and can be used to fight JKR's agenda. By consuming fanfic/fanart zero money goes towards JKR. None. And further, JKR has no say in how you use her characters in these spaces. So, if you want to use these creative outlets to uplift trans voices, please do! Support trans writers/artists and urge them to PERSIST--because I promise you nothing is going to tick off the ole' bitch more than trans bodies/ trans supporters writing her characters.

Just because the writer is the devil, doesn't mean the art has to be. I won't go into the concept of "death of the author" because I think it can be pockmarked to hell with various examples, but what I DO subscribe to is that once the art is out in the world, it is now owned by the person who consumes it. To put it simply: when I read HP I am POSITIVE I imagine characters/settings differently than the person next to me. It's the beauty of the imagination: the creator can give us the blocks but how it is built is contingent on how WE perceive it.

Did I mention money? DON'T GIVE IT TO HER. Buy the books/movies second hand. Pirate the media you wish to consume around the fandom. Don't give her any reason to give any more hate funding and instead send that money to trans communities and groups who need it (they REALLY need it.)

Maybe I'm naive to say this, but I don't think interacting with the story as an art form is bad. She invented it, sure, but she isn't in charge of what goes on in my brain. If anything, this fandom NEEDS the trans community and supporters within it because not only can they push back, but they can educate those who otherwise are listening to the author. Don't let her win the space even though she's the author. It's no longer hers to have.

If you are someone who wants to leave the fandom because you can't bear to watch her continue to destroy it--I completely understand. But, as someone who has been in this fandom for over 20 years, the one thing I've learned is: besides monetarily she doesn't own shit. Don't let her take what you love from you and don't let her get away with scaring people out of their community spaces. Support and love our trans brothers and sisters and enjoy your HP despite it all. The things you love are worth fighting for.

[hell-fm]

As someone who is NOT touch-averse and moreso sex-favorable or sex-neutral (depending on my hormone level) and still discovering themselves when it comes to what my needs and wants in life are even though I am in my mid30s, I find The Ace Discourse around Alastor very stressful and unhelpful.

How both ends of this discourse talk about it and choose to portray Alastor feels very black and white to me, when that doesn’t reflect my experiences of romance and sex at all. And by this I don’t mean that theres a valid way of doing it and a nonvalid way of doing it. I think it’s more about how I would love people to understand relationships the way I see them and to explore the literal grey areas there.

I guess at some point we as a community need to spell the problems out, so I’ll try..,,

I think the biggest issue here mostly is that plenty of ppl who are ace and even sex-repulsed irl feel attraction to fictional characters and in many such cases that character is Alastor, they want to see him fuck or get fucked. So they like sexual and romantic content with him and try to write him to be demiromantic or sex-favorable or both or whatever else… and that is very valid and fair, because that does reflect the reality of many aroace people. Sometimes people completely erase the nuances there for the sake of smut and romance and I do not particularly like that, but I also lowkey just don’t care? My personal mantra after many years of being a messy fandom bitch is don’t like don’t read. People who like sexual and romantic content with Alastor often say they experience harassment from others who are lowkey just homophobic but use the fact that Alastor is ace as a reason to verbally attack them or threaten to dox them. The claim here is that those people are always allos, which I don’t think is necessarily true. However, I definitely have seen allos do this.

Other aces who are sex-repulsed even in fiction see Alastor as sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed ( I don’t even think theyre wrong at all, that is a very accurate observation from what you see in canon) and get annoyed because so much content with Alastor doesn’t reflect that at all. And that is also a very valid thing to be upset about! It is very unfortunate that Alastor is one of the few ace characters that fans get at all and he happens to be the most shipped guy. I understand why that is annoying, upsetting and feels unfair. I just also think that to claim the problem are allos and this is how allos mistreat ace representation not only erases aroace ppl who are Alastor shippers, but also conflates fanmade, transgressive content with the show. I just don’t think it’s healthy to get mad at people for liking the blorbo differently, especially considering that the ace spectrum is actually fairly wide and thus includes many, many different forms of handling sex and relationships and there simply isn’t just one way to represent it.

The issue here is getting into The Discourse about it, because it wont lead anywhere. Hence why people usually recommend that everyone stays in their lane, which I think is the startest thing you can do. At the end of the day it often seems like semantics to me anyways. One group claims *they said drawing Alastor smut is wrong because he is ace, but ace people can fuck!!!* and the other group claims *Claiming that it’s wrong to say this character is sex-repulsed because some ace people fuck is stupid!!!* and I think both are right. I just think you need to agree to disagree on this one, my dudes. Theres literally no way around it.

However, interestingly what oftentimes falls flat here is the most underrepresented form of aroace realities in fandom, which is the *somewhere in between*. The Alastor that I rarely see in fanfics or fanart, the one who fucks not for sexual pleasure, but to gain something. Or to be entertained. Or out of a masochistic of even sadistic desire. Or to form bonds, to maintain a relationship.

Point 1: sex-favorable doesn’t necessarily mean demisexual. And this is where it gets tricky.

I feel like many aces who maybe are younger, or have always been aware of being ace and/or who grew up with the identity labels maybe can’t imagine sex to be anything but something you consent to with great enthusiasm and desire for sexual pleasure. Many people who are so indifferent to sex or even repulsed by it consider this the only valid form of consent, because that is the line they would never cross. The problem just is that this is not what it’s like for many sex-favorable aces.

Point 2: Sexual attraction is not the same as a libido. You can be ace and not feel sexual attraction, but have a functioning libido

The reason why Heat/Rut works so well as a trope for aces who ship Alastor is because sometimes that is what it feels like for us. Hormonal fluctuations causing your body to seek out sexual stimulation while you personally really wouldnt know who to go to for it, because arousal is just a bodily reaction to you, not something that you want to happen. This might be confusing for many allos, because they also have a concept of difference between attraction and libido, but it’s important to point out that aces experience NO attraction. Or in the case of demisexuals, just very little attraction. Many aces experience attraction to concepts or if they are sexually experienced, they might have physical Pavlovian responses. But there’s no day to day attraction to people in the same way allos experience it.

Point 3: sex-neutrality and the problem if seeing sex as either inherently positive or inherently negative

Something I find myself relating to the most is a very neutral relationship to sex and I feel like that it something I never be talked about online. Not in fandom, not on Instagram. It feels like being a unicorn because if you are not either avoiding sex like the plague or enthusiastically consenting, you are not able to consent to sex somehow.

Idk if this has to do with people either never having had sex, or only having bad experiences or being a young allo and not understanding that sex is more than just plap plap plap uhn uhn SPLOURCH, but there’s a lot of reasons to have sex with someone CONSENSUALLY without it being about sexual pleasure. In my personal experience, I found the physical connection during sex very unique and powerful, it feels like a very neutral way of connecting to someone. It is very hard to explain with words, but I think it’s mostly about trust building and getting to know your partner physically in the most intimate way possible. Especially aces who arent aro often say this is why they have sex. It’s not something they need, but it’s about counting freckles, smiling at each other and feeling skin and just intimacy in general.

Having peaked into a few texts about psychoanalysis makes you realize that both allos and aces have sex for many reasons other than just sexual attraction.

In less romantic cases, ppl have sex because they enjoy the power dynamic, sometimes it’s to get your mind off of other things or because it’s a means to an end. Maybe even because you enjoy the vulnerability. Some people have sex because they think it’s just what you do, even if you technically don’t have to do it. And none of these scenarios happen nonconsensually to these people, because they just don’t think much of it and sex isn’t a big deal to them. That is the Definition of being sex-neutral. It’s also why some sex workers are ace and only find this out about themselves when they stop sex work and realize they don’t really miss having sex at all, but also don’t feel particularly bad about having done it.

Point 4: Aces love kink

I could write an entire essay about being ace and BDSM, this is still one of these topics where theres so much ressources online and people still get surprised when you tell them about it, but I already spend a lot of time on this post and would like to either never talk about this or maybe make a big post sometime in the future when people least expect it.

But just so you know: BDSM isn’t about sex, sex can play a role in it and does so for many people, but especially no-touch domsub, bondage, sadism and masochism can be activities that happen without sex being ever a part of it. Not even an afterthought.

I have read quite a few fanfics where any of these 4 points were explored with Alastor and I think it would do good for people to consider these options more for cool and interesting dynamics that are more unusual, especially considering the specifically weird flavor of Alastor. But at the end of the day people can write whatever they want and it’s not my business. If this post reaches even just one person and they feel like they gained new insights, that’s a win for me!

[marzipanandminutiae]

someone tried to come at me on Reddit with "you didn't even support artists before AI; you just want to feel superior!"

my good bitch

tell that to the fanfic illustration I commissioned from my friend years ago

and the Mary Syring print on my wall

my three porcelain BJDs

the custom faceups on my resin BJDs

the doll restoration artist who is currently working on one of my antiques

the custom corset I lost in the fire

the print propped up on my bookcase that I got because it looks like technicolor Edith Cushing

the sticker I bought at Pride Fest last year

and other smaller things, ways we all support artists even without buying directly from them: buying things they licensed and get royalties for. even now, almost every decorated object you own was designed by a human artist. journal with a pretty cover? wall calendar? hair clips from CVS? book illustrations? clothing? film and tv writing? human artists touch every aspect of our lives, in ways we can't even realize

and that. is why keeping AI down is important. because all of those things we don't think about- that's how people make a living from creating art, generally speaking

that's what companies want to use AI for. because it's cheap in cash, and the human cost means nothing to them. and if you use it, you tell them that it's a profitable technology, encourage them to keep pushing it forward, and help it "learn"

thus destroying artists' livelihoods

[shanastoryteller]

this is NOT a request for u to hurry finishing up the new chapter for siat (bc people who do that are ungrateful brats) but a genuine question. Do you feel even less drawn to it right now (spn brain aside) because of what JKR has done to English politics and the lives of trans women? Because I think it would be completely understandable if you felt this was ur final straw to not finish it but I would also get the opposite of it being ‘now there’s even more reason to finish it’ I think both viewpoints are valid and have their reasonings and this is really truly not in any way meant to be a “why isn’t there a new chapter yet!!:(((“ ask I’m just curious what HP fanfic writers (especially someone as well known as you) make of this as I keep seeing posts going around of the “if u still read/write HP fanfic you’re a terf too” variety and I just…disagree with that but also see where they come from (aka helping the fandom stay relevant. But even if we all quit reading and writing fanfic, HP would still be popular and imo the dent fanfic makes isn’t that big in the fandom bc locals still love HP and most people who now read fanfic hate JKR and wouldn’t actually read her books/buy merch)

Regardless of what you decide, know your Audience is behind you,100%. Hell, you dragged most of us (me included) back into Supernatural. I’m excited for the new chapter of tgp!! 💖💖

Thank you for all your words, whatever fandom they may come in (I.e I found you years ago because of your teen wolf fic specifically embers embers but stayed through so many fandoms and even read some I know nothing about) you are a beacon of light in this world and I treasure each of your works truly and with all my heart

thank you, this is a really sweet and nice way of asking, i'm so glad you enjoy my writing <3

but honestly: nah lol

jkr is shit and so are all of her opinions. the influence she has on government sucks and i personally think it's best to avoid giving her money, but i'm not pocketwatching other people

siat, which is a very popular hp fic, is 8 years old and has 2.8 million hits

in 2023 alone, 9.6 million people visited universal studios hollywood, the home of the wizarding world of harry potter

people should engage with media in whatever manner they feel most comfortable and sparks the most joy. but the idea that fanfic is a significant contributor to the cultural zeitgeist is just stupid

siat's on the to do list, i've just been infected with spn brainworms and wbt is also on the list but i feel more compelled to work on that one than siat just because huge chunks of it are already written so it seems a little silly to drag my feet as much as i have, plus at the time it had been a year since i posted the first chapter and i was like. ok come on let's go this is getting ridiculous

it's a goal to get back into a regular update cadence with siat. i'm not tired of it, i don't hate it, i still have an outline and know we're i'm going

it's partially that we're in sort of a tricky part to write, since it's about when a bunch of threads are about to come together and i don't want to fuck it up, and also that demands for updates honest to god really do kill my motivation to work on it. it's not punishment, i'm not trying to be a bitch, but i love the story and want to love sharing it with you, but being treated like a dispenser of fic, or like i owe people something and i'm somehow being selfish or inconsiderate by having fun writing what i want to write, really honestly just kills that. i don't want to write with that in the back of my head

people ask me about siat updates a lot. i don't post anything close to all of them. and if it was just "love the story can't wait to see what happens next!" that wouldn't be a problem, that's nice, i like that people are engaged and interested in what's to come

but a litany of "when will this update?" "is this abandoned?" "what about siat :(" "i don't care about x, why aren't you working on siat?" "you haven't updated siat in a while..." "why haven't you updated siat?" just makes me feel kinda bitter. which isn't a place i want to write from

it will be updated. i probably won't write the next chapter straight through and will alternate with tgp or wbt or whatever, but it's honestly just a mix of brainworms and having a lot of fun with these blorbos and wanting to have be in the right mindset while i write

[kirqro]

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི’ Streamer!Ellie

warnings || none !!

lower case intended

{ I LOVE streamer els :’( }

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who's set up is either a really shitty web cam or top tier. Either way she def takes pride in it !

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' who watches shitty reality tv shows on stream and her reactions to the scenes def had a part of her blowing up.

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' was really insecure when she was just starting out streaming , like poor baby would tape up her camera up in fear it would randomly turn on ;((

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' who after hitting a milestone finally did a face reveal and was shaking in her boots.

She was just yapping to yap lwky.. because of how nervous she is

"So chat are we perhaps rocking with my outfit !"

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' who fucks around with her soundboard way to much ..

like baby be pushing buttons at the wrong time

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' who be fighting with her viewers sometimes..

'@elliesbigfatlefttoe - Ellie why can I SEE your armpit hair peaking out bae..'

SHE SNAPS BACK SOO QUICK

"BIG FAT WHAT? .. The fuck come bite it off for me then weirdo"

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' who plays a variety of games from Minecraft , Valorant , Roblox , Fortnite [ she gets called dog water by random 10 year olds.. (╥﹏╥) ] a bunch of random horror games and some rpg games.

She also does chill talking streams & random reaction videos.

LMAO SHE DEF READS FANFICS ABT HERSELFF

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who EATS on fashion famous

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✮ streamer!ellie ' gets herself into random ass twitter beef and just takes all the roast she gets by 10 year old arianators..

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✮ streamer!ellie ' is really just a big loser

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who after she blew up needed to introduce you to her stream , or at least make it known shes MARRIED.

ellie randomly drops the gf bomb on everyone on a random thursday stream outta no where..

୨♡୧

It was a pretty chill just chatting stream

when ellie started to give her viewers a ring tour. the pads of her fingers brushed against a certain ring on her left hand . a smirk could be seen adoring ellie's face while she slipped it off and tried to be a lil beauty guru showing the ring off.

up close in action shots as she called it..

"It's a promise ring with the wifey you know !" she said with pride forming inside her chest and a smile falling on her face.

Tik tok and wlw twitter sighed that day..

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who soft launches you and your identity.

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who loves when you sit in her streaming room with her ! although she tends to get a bit shy knowing your presence is there

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who talks the most shit with you about petty drama in her community ..

"babe you'll never guess who got cancelled .."

before you could even open up your lips to ask her what happened she cut you off in an instant

"bro that dyke abigail , her ex came forward saying she gave her fucking chlamydia.. goodness dirty ass bitch"

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who loves the way you love her. she can't ever seem to really wrap her mind around the fact that you've really stuck around with her for this long!

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who is wife !!

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Hii bbys I acc had sm fun writing this ! soo again maybe part two ?

Again requests are wide open so pls send some !!

ILYSMM and TYSM for reading !! (∩˃o˂∩)♡

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daily click for Palestine !!

from the river to the sea Palestine WILL be free!! 🍉

[minimomoe]

Let's Break This Down

this is for the lovely @vladersira, you have made a lot of noise on my page lately. You called me rude earlier when I had responded diplomatically the first time but since you keep running your mouth:

I will block you again. The same way you block tags you don’t want to see is the same way i will block people i don’t want commenting

Since we’re both blind bitches who can’t read, all of my stuff is tagged with black reader individually. Whether or not you saw it is not my problem. You can click on my master list and see my blog is for black people, always has been. Update your fucking block lists so that this doesn’t happen again.

If you do have black reader (and male, and trans) blocked i’m led to believe that you think self inserts are inherently white. So yes, it must’ve upset you because you don’t block things that make you happy (unless you’re stupid, you tell me).

You are not paying me to write nor am I begging you to read. I don’t give a rat’s ass of the stuff you do want to engage in, but don’t come on MY PAGE to tell ME how to tag for things that are tagged. You don’t get to be an entitled little shit on a page that isn’t yours because it shattered your worldview of what you "should" and "shouldn't" read

and lastly because this is still blowing my mind, if you block things because you can’t see yourself in it, you are missing out on a world of great pieces. I’m not just talking about fanfic. That is a child’s way of thinking. Don’t give me a compliment to cover your ass because other perspectives bore you

From the bottom of my heart, fuck you. I was having a perfectly good morning until you came along. The only reason why I'm making this a post is to reiterate that I am a black woman writing fics for black women. I would tell you to kiss my black ass but I don't even want you that close.

[atereaste]

Listen I love TLOU and the fandom very much but a lot of people (not calling anybody out) need a reality check and need to grow up. I wanna say my two cents on things that bother me in this fandom.

1. Boycotting for Palestine

I have seen multiple times on multiple occasions where people would sit on their phone and complain about why writers are “flooding the tags with this boycotting bullshit” and honestly all I have to say is your super childish you can’t take a hour or a week out of your day to raise awareness on a important topic that is affecting millions of people? Your so horny so down bad for pixelated characters that you don’t care about the innocent children, women and men that are dying in Palestine? The boycotting isn’t gonna stop just because you want your needs filled, the boycotting isn’t going to stop because you think it needs to, it’s not gonna stop until Palestine is free. And if you wanna read things that bad then read nobody is stoping you but a take into ignition that if a writer is spreading awareness then don’t be ignorant and say stupid shit

2. Less Sex and more angst or other genres.

Listen I love Abby and Ellie just like everyone else and I read a lot of smut about them but does that all y’all see when y’all look at them? As sex objects? Like I’m not saying that you should stop writing smut for those characters but write other things to that don’t involve smut, like angst I see a lot of people under that tag say how they wish writers would as write other things that isn’t just smut and majority of the time when they say that they get hated for it. It lowkey gets boring reading fanfics where the whole plot is smut, smut, smut. And again I’m not saying to stop writing smut but please for the love of whatever you believe in write other genres.

3. Black inclusivity

As a black writer and a black person TLOU tag isn’t inclusive enough. I know you must be thinking “Why are we speaking about this again?” Because I’m honestly so tired of how uninclusive the fandom is like I said before Ellie dates WOC if you don’t know what WOC is it’s Women Of Color all of Ellie’s girlfriends where WOC now I’m not saying you can’t write for Ellie as a white person and I’m not saying that never did all I am saying is once again all of Ellie’s girlfriend where POC

Riley was a Black African American who Dated Ellie

Cat the girl who wasn’t mentioned alot but is in the game is Asian American who also dated Ellie

Dina is a Jewish (Mexican, Middle Eastern ) American who dated Ellie

Also yes we know when the reader is white coded so don’t try a put that you don’t mention when race mentioned cause you do and we can tell when you do “She’s Petite and cute with her long blonde hair” or whatever you bitches be saying we know when you guys aren’t inclusive the whole point of fanfiction writing is to be inclusive is to make sure that readers can see themself in your xreader so if your putting all these “white things and then labeling your story as “the readers race is not mentioned” or that OC stuff that y’all do then just label the story as a white reader or a OC reader

4. Futa, trans and masc

Now here I’m gonna discuss two or three things starting off with Futa and Trans. Now I don’t know when “Futa” or “Trans” Ellie and Abby came from but a lot of you readers need to understand and learn the difference between the two because they are both very different things.

Futanari: is the Japanese word for hermaphroditism, which is also used in a broader sense for androgyny. Beyond Japan, the term has come to be used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of eroge, manga, and anime, which includes characters that show primary sexual characteristics from both females and males. In today's language, it refers almost exclusively to characters who have an overall feminine body, but have both female and male primary genitalia (although a scrotum is not always present, while breasts, a penis, and a vulva are). The term is also often abbreviated as futa(s), which is also used as a generalized term for the works themselves.

Transgender (often shortened to trans) is someone whose gender identity differs from that typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual. Transgender is also an umbrella term; in addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may also include people who are non-binary or genderqueer. Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender. The term may also include cross-dressers or drag kings and drag queens in some contexts. The term transgender does not have a universally accepted definition, including among researchers.

Mind you I am not transgender I am nonbinary but I see a lot of transgender people speak up about how offensive it is to write a character as Transgender but it’s not really transgender but a Futanari remember a Futa is a character who is assigned a gender at birth but just has extra sexual parts like a penis.

Now another thing that bothers me is how y’all Masculinize Masc Lesbians as if they still aren’t women themselves like every time I read a fanfic with Ellie or Abby or even Vi and Sevika from Arcane you guys like to ignore they fact that they are also women themselves like it’s not gonna kill you to give those characters feminine compliments there shouldn’t be a reason why your calling these women “handsome” or other Masculine compliments and also a lot of Masculine women where makeup it’s not just a feminine woman thing. Masc Lesbians are women they aren’t men so stop treating them as if they are men and ignoring the fact that they are women

5. the Innocent childish reader gotta stop.

They title says enough I don’t think I need to say too much but a lot of y’all get innocent and corruption mixed up but a corruption kink is When you find the idea of "corrupting" someone, mostly in a sexual way, like taking virginities or introducing people to stuff like bdsm etc. It's the idea of having someone "pure" do "bad" things under your influence. And innocent is not corrupted or tainted with evil or unpleasant emotion; sinless; pure. not guilty of a particular crime; blameless. (From the dictionary)

Y’all need to understand yes not everyone knows what sex is but everyone knows what a vagina is what a penis is, what a orgasm is and what sex is but they may not knows what happens when you have sex so making the reader what y’all call innocent isn’t innocent it’s honestly to me perverted cause the only one who would say something like “my cunny feels weird 🥺” or that “what is sex 🥺” is a child. Children don’t know what sex is children don’t know what pleasure or orgasms is and when y’all say “the reader is a Bimbo” is also funny cause Bimbos know what sex is as well yes they may be stupid but they aren’t slow so before you make a innocent reader please think “am I making my reader act like a child or am I gonna make her really innocent like how regular grown ass adults act?” so don't get not knowing and "innocent" mixed up

6. The stories where they have sex inside a church also gotta stop

Now I’m not a Christian but these stories are honestly really bad and are Blasphemy a lot of people have come out and said that they don’t like the fact that people are writing stories about church in a sexual way like their shouldn’t be any reason why your characters are fucking inside a church, that’s like stomping on someone’s dead grave. You guys do shit like this and then wonder why Christian’s don’t like us. Religion isn’t something to be sexualized it’s not something to be playing with either this idc how much you hate Christianity you can be a Atheist, or Catholic or Jewish but please for the love of whatever you believe in don’t sexualize people’s religion.

That’s all I can think of at the moment if I think of more I’ll of course make a part two to this but don’t take anything I said here to heart it’s just my blunt honest opinion on things in this fandom and if I get hate for this 🤷🏾‍♀️

[wwefan2002]

mami's girl (a little R&R 2)

Rhea x !fem reader

CW: !dom Rhea, !soft Rhea, angst, possessive, smut, fluff

TW: fingering(both reciving), oral(!Reciving both)

18+ MINORS DNI

summary: after confessing her love for Rhea reader starts getting harassed by her ex and Rhea comes to the rescue, while also showing reader exactly who she belongs to ;)

A/N: enjoy guys im having fun writing it also taking request for more female wrestling fanfics :)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Your walking backstage getting your mind focused on the match tonight you versus chelsa green for the US womans title your ready for her, you know you can beat her but as you are walking to the locker room your stopped by your ex you look at him with anger in your eyes, he trys to come close to you but you put your arm out to back him up a bit, "what are you doing" you ask giving him a disgusted look, "im just trying to get a good look at you" he smirks, you want to throw up at hearing that "well I don't want to see you" you say trying to move away from him but he stops you grabbing your arm, " HEY LET GO OF ME" you say loudly, he still try's to get close to you, you back up slightly only to be met with a wall at your back now he has you cornered your heart racing, you want to hide as your hands tremble as he looks at you this time his eyes replaced with anger, you try to move again but he stops you "im just trying to look at my girl" he says making your skin crawl. You try your best to stay calm until you hear a familiar voice " HEY MOTHER FUCKER SHE SAID LET HER GO" you hear Rhea yell loudly as she rushes over seeing you being corned by him, she looks at him the fire burning hotter then hell in her eyes as she walks up to him he turns to face her, they are nose to nose he looks at her and laughs, "or what are you going to do she is mine Afterall" he smirks Rhea's burning a hole through him she grabs him and throws him the floor "you stay away from her if I ever see you near her again I will cut of your balls and feed them to you" she says she then turns to you grabbing your hand and leads you to the locker room where you sit on the couch as Rhea closes the door behind you. Once inside she sits next to you, your hands still shaking from what just happened Rhea looks at you "are you ok babe did he hurt you" she asks looking at your arm were he grabbed it " that son of bitch if he ever touches you again please tell me", you look at Rhea and nod as she wraps her arms around you holding you close " its ok babe he can't hurt you now" she says feeling you shaking, you turn to her before bursting in to tears at the fear you felt. Rhea looks at you and takes your face in her hands wiping away your tears "its ok babe he won't hurt you ever again ill make sure of it because your mine now"

You look at Rhea taking her hands in yours looking down at her hands looking at her black and purple nail polish and the ink that covers her hands, you then lift your head to look at Rhea " im....im yours" you say questioning if Shes serious, she looks at you smiling, "yes babe your mine and I'm yours I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you" she says smiling at you, you look into her eyes and you can see she really means that, you bury your head in her chest running your hands along her arm admiring the ink that adorns them, she softly rubs your back and places a soft kiss on your forehead, you look up at her smiling "so I guess you are my mami now huh" you say smiling at her she looks at you smiling as she chuckles "yes princess" she says as your heart about beats out of your chest at her saying princess, your mind being but at ease by her words and her touch. You look at Rhea smiling "ok now I have to get ready for my match please don't try to kill anyone for me" you say smirking she smirks at you as you stand up to change into your gear, " no promises" she says as you turn and go get changed before coming back to finish getting your boots on, Rhea looks at you as you adjust yourself in the mirror, she comes up behind you and puts her hands on your ass to which you look at her in mirror and roll your eyes " really" you say playfully as you smirk Rhea looks at you as she squeezes your ass " I have to show everyone who you belong to and that includes you" Rhea says as she chuckles, you look at her " oh really so I belong to you now" you say smiling slyly " well then how about you show me that I belong to you tonight" you say smirking, but before you finish smiling Rhea turns you around pressing you against the wall with your hands above your head, Rhea looks at you her oceanic blue eyes filled with lust, " mamis going to show you that you belong to her" she says getting close to you before placing kisses on your earlobe, you giggle before she lets you finish getting ready for your match.

You look at Rhea walking over to her before giving her a kiss "you got this babe show them who the champ is" she says before you turn to go to gorilla Rhea gives your ass a nice smack watching it giggle; you jump a little at the feeling as you turn back to look at her, she smirks you roll your eyes playfully at her as you go to gorilla. You and Chelsa have a barn burner of a match after 20 minutes you finally got the win as you rolled off Chelsa after pinning her you get on your knees putting your head to the mat tears running down your face as you hear the announcer " AND NEW UNITED STATES WOMENS CHAMPION Y/N" you look up from the mat out at the crowd as the ref hands you the title you raise it high above your head as more tears stream down your face, through everything that happened today and over the past month you finally achieved your dream of winning a title in WWE, you finally won your first title and it didn't feel really as you stared at the title your hand it felt like a dream, as you walked through gorilla the first person you see is Rhea, she rushes to you lifting you off your feet spinning you around, " OMG YOU DID IT" she screamed you smiled big as she held you, she finally put you done and you looked at her smiling big " I did it" you said both you and Rhea laughing and smiling, as the next person you saw was triple H he congratulates you on the win and all the hard work you have put in he then leans in to whisper to you " just so you know I saw what that guy did he's fired and make sure you thank Rhea tonight" you look at him smiling and nodding as you grab Rhea's arm and you both walk back to the locker room to change. You both get changed and head back to the hotel title over your shoulder you still couldn't believe that you actually won, as you made your way to your hotel room Rhea was walking behind you staring at your ass and you knew it so when you finally got into the room you put your bag in the corner and when you bent down to grab some more comfy clothes you made sure to shake your ass at her giving her a little show. You then turned and went to the bathroom to change Rhea changed and then sat on the bed waiting for you to return, Once you returned from the bathroom you saw Rhea sitting on the edge of the bed, you sit next to her turning to face her smiling, she looks into your eyes watching as the light reflects off them turning them from dark brown to a light brown, she then takes your hands running her thumbs over your hands, you look at her "so who do I belong to mami" you say smirking at her, her eyes lighting up with lust, before you can even react she has her hand on your throat your heart beating fast, "ill show you" she growls as she pushes you back into the bed grabbing your pants and pulling them down to reveal that you weren't wearing any panties because you knew she wanted you that way.

Rhea looks at you and smiles "oh someone wanted to show off for mami huh you naughty girl not wearing any panties anyone could have seen the outline of your pussy" she says as you smile "well I did it for you mami" you say smirking as she removes your pants the rest of the way before discarding them on the floor and then crawling up the bed getting on top of you, Rhea starts kissing your neck and your collarbone making sure to leave marks to show everyone who you belong to, the hairs on your body standing up at the feeling of her lips on your skin, you moan softly as she kisses all the way down your stomach, you watch as she does so your eyes dancing over her skin admiring the gargoyle tattoo on her back as your hands glide through her onyx colored hair, she then spreads your legs reveling your soaking wet core, she then places kisses along your inner thighs as she does she licks and bites them making sure to leave her mark on you no one can have only Rhea can. She then finally starts licking at your folds causing you to whimper, she smiles hearing how good she's making you feel she starts licking you up and down your folds stopping just before your clit causing you to whine out " ohh....ohhh please mami" you whine out she looks up at you " please mami what princess" she says making you melt you were like puddy in her hands melting at her words and her touch, " please eat my pussy mami" you say she smiles before finally plunging her tounge deep in your sweet core, causing you to moan loud and squirm at her tounge inside you, your hands gripping her head hard trying to push her head deeper into your pussy. Rhea then stops and takes her tounge out of you causing you to whimper, but before you can even think she has you by the throat again " you let mami do what she wants you don't get to cum until mami says do you understand" she says as her eyes stare through to your soul. " ye....yes mami" you say through breaths she then lets your throat go and kisses you deeply, your juices covering her tounge as she snakes her tounge in your mouth allowing you to taste yourself on her tounge causing you to moan as you feel Rhea tugging at your shirt you then raise your arms allowing her to take it off as she breaks the kiss, she then removes her own clothes giving you a good look at her ass you stare at every inch of her body from the curves of her ass to the neatly trimmed pubic hair that covers just above her pussy to her tone abs and her juicy tits and her beautifully full areolas, you look at her hard nipples just wanting to take them in your mouth and suck them for hours, but you know mamis in charge you look at Rhea as she sits back on the bed between your legs but before you can speak you feel her fingers enter your tight walls causing you to moan as she curls two fingers inside you slowly thrusting them in and out of you. You grip he head running your fingers through her hair as she starts thrusting in you faster " pl...please mami make me cum please" you beg as she quickens her thrusting she then starts licking your pussy as she thrusts her fingers in you causing you to squirm even more, " ohh......ohhhh fuc......fuck mami right there" you maon out as she keeps fingering you, then she finally sucks at your clit taking your bundle of nerves in her mouth and sucking softly at them. " ohhhhhh......fu......fu....fuck" you moan barely able to form sentences as she keeps licking " you wanna cum for mami you wanna cum all over mamis face princess" she says, you nod as you try to hold back your orgasm.

Rhea looks at you and smiles "cum for mami princess cum all over mamis face" she says, the words flowing through your ears as your body heats up and you finally cum all over Rhea's face your juices squirting out on her face and tits as she places kisses on your sweet core while drinking all of your juices making sure to not waste a single drop of the sweet nectar, as you come down from your climax Rhea crawls up to you and kisses you once again allowing you to taste your juices on her tounge then then pulls away from the kiss and you take the chance and pull her close to you licking your juices off her face before swallowing all of them, Rhea grins at seeing you do it she then lays down and you switch spots with her this time you are now between her legs, your hands running up her skin feeling every inch of her soft skin, you then crawl up to Rhea kissing her from her neck down to her abs and back up to her boobs where you then softly kiss her boobs before finally taking one of her nipples in your mouth sucking it deeply like your trying to get milk out of it, Rhea moans as she feels your soft lips wrap around her nipple " mmmm...fuck princess just like that" she moans as you continue to suck her nipples taking turns sucking them both while also pinching them, Rhea then grabs your face pulling you up to her looking into your eyes " make mami cum princess" she says and you then slide down between her legs spreading them wide allowing you access to her soft wet folds as you slowly start licking her folds you run your hands along her thighs feeling how soft her skin is and how toned her thighs are you then slowly slide two fingers inside her causing her to moan " ohh...fuck just like that princess" her words softened by her accent making them like silk as they entered you ears causing you to moan into her pussy as you started fingering her you then slowly and softly sucked her clit into your mouth swirling your tounge around her bundle of nerves lightly running them through your teeth causing Rhea to push your head deeper into her pussy so your nose was pressing on her pelvis as her hips bucked against your face you took her sweet juices into your mouth the taste so sweet and euphoric as you inhaled the scent of her juices you almost came at the intoxicating smell and taste of them, Rhea moaned out loudly " mamis going to cum princess mamis cumming" as she said that you felt her pussy tighten around your fingers as her juices coated your face, you softly kissed her pussy as she came down from her climax she then sat up and grabbed your chin pulling you to her as she kissed you deeply and with such fire and passion her tounge found yours and she tasted her juices on your tounge as you moaned into her mouth as she kissed you, she then pulled away and then licked her juices off your face before kissing you again this time making you swallow her juices as well as your own, Rhea then pulled away and layed back in the bed as you layed down next to her curling up close to her your head buried in her chest, she looked down at you and smiled, " you did such a good job for mami princess and now that I marked you your mine forever" as she looked at the marks left on your neck you smiled and looked up at her "im yours forever mami I love you" you said as she smiled she looked at you and ran her hands through your hair " i love you to princess" she said as you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

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TO BE CONTIUED

A/N: hope you guys enjoyed it im taking requests for more fanfics primarily female x female let me know what you guys thought of this story :)

[rrxnjun]

where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him. 

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude. 

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all. 

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would. 

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe. 

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…” 

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier. 

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose. 

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one. 

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence. 

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–” 

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now–  as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does. 

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?” 

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help. 

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice. 

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car. 

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack. 

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this? 

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening. 

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place. 

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind. 

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain. 

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different. 

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike. 

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile. 

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest. 

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about. 

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning. 

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now. 

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body. 

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface. 

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft. 

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?” 

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you. 

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more. 

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough. 

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed? 

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him. 

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time. 

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair. 

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him. 

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again. 

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else. 

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge. 

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression. 

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?” 

“Hm?” 

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence.  “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

[auvrorsa]

if i didn't know better - r.c

pairing: rafe cameron x ex!reader

warnings: death of a child, grief counselling

prompt: two estranged lovers join the same support group. this is the first meeting.‍

author's note: this is my first time writing fanfic so pls be kind!!

It's been exactly six months since your daughter passed away.

It's been exactly five months and thirteen days since you had last left your house, until now. Here you stand, like a fish out of water, outside the community centre that holds the grief support group once a fortnight.

It's taken all this time for your friends to manage to convince you to at least try it out. That's the only reason you're here. You didn't believe in any of this therapy shit, but you promised them you would try.

Taking a deep breath, you step inside the building. Now or never.

The room is heavy and you find yourself overwhelmed. This is too much. Too soon, You think to yourself. Just as you turn to leave, someone who you assume is the leader of the group announces it's time to start.

It's busier than you thought it would be, you think as you all take your places in the school chairs that have been placed in a circle. There must be at least twenty-five people here, including yourself. It almost makes you feel less alone.

"Hi everybody, my name is Linda and I'll be hosting this weeks' support group," the woman introduces herself. She must be in her sixties. She has dark brown hair that sits in ringlets and her skin looks almost sun-kissed. You notice that she has soft wrinkles from smiling, although there's no sight of a smile when you look at her today. Immediately, you recognise her as one of your own. You may not know Linda, but it's obvious to anyone who has experienced loss that this woman has been there too.

She continues, pulling you away from your observation. "I wanted to start this session off by saying thank you. Thank you for trusting me and everyone around you with this and thank you for coming. I hope that you all are able to find some semblance of peace after your time here."

Everyone acknowledges her statement with a nod. You swear you even hear a sniffle from across the circle.

"To start off with, we're going to be-" Linda is interrupted by the door bursting open.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I, uh-traffic was a bitch."

Your head immediately snaps up. You would know that voice anywhere. After all, you have spent the best part of your life in love with it and the person who owns it. Sure enough, your eyes lock onto the father of your daughter.

Rafe Cameron.

Seeing him here threw you through a loop. Of course, Poppy was his daughter too but… Rafe had never exactly been the type of person to sit down and talk about his emotions. It's partly why you two ended. That and losing Poppy. Neither of you were the same, you never would be. Your daughter had taught the pair of you the most valuable of lessons and now she was just… gone. It was cruel. Soon enough, you started arguing and he started staying out late drinking with his friends. In the end, you both realised you needed to separate. You both reminded one another of what you had lost and what you could never get back.

He breaths out your name, breaking you out of your stunned daze.

Linda looked between the pair of you, clearly confused. "Thank you for joining us, Rafe. It is so lovely to have you here. Do you two… know each other?"

Rafe looks at you for a second, trying to determine whether or not to open up the bag that you've both spent the past six months trying to close. He must see something on your face because he shakes his head, "Not really, just both from the same side of town."

"Oh, okay. Anyways, take a seat and we'll get started," Linda says with a warm smile on her face.

Once Rafe takes the last seat, which just so happens to be directly opposite you because of course it is, Linda explains how the session is going to work. Starting with herself, she will introduce herself with a fun fact about herself and then explain why she's here.

"Hi everybody. My name is Linda and I also teach yoga outside of this group. I'm here today because almost five years ago, I lost my husband of thirty-one years to a heart attack."

After Linda, the person to her right introduces herself and so on. It's mainly people who have lost their grandparents or parents. You feel eyes on you and immediately know who it is. When you meet Rafe's gaze, you know you're both thinking the same thing. You're both thinking about how unfair it all is.

Maybe that makes you both horrible people but it's what grief does to you. It takes the person you once were and tears you apart, right through the middle, until you're nothing but a scrap piece of paper.

When it gets to your turn, you're shaking. Somehow, you manage to stand up.

You begin by introducing yourself, "I don't really, uh, have any cool facts about myself. I'm here today because six months ago today I, uh," tears well in your eyes. "I lost my daughter. She, uh, had an allergic reaction at her friends house and she- she didn't have anything to help her." You look at Rafe, seeking that same source of strength from him that you always have, but find nothing. He's simply staring back at you with tears rolling down his own face. The pair of you must be a mirror of each other.

Linda hands you a box of tissues and apologises to you quietly whilst the next person takes their turn.

Eventually, it's Rafe's turn. He rubs his hands on his jeans as he stands.

"Hi guys. My name is Rafe. The coolest thing about me is that I was Poppy's dad. And that's why I'm here today. Because I'm nobody now that she's gone." That's all he says before he sits back down and once again looks at you. A silent conversation being had with just your eyes.

I'm sorry, you say. Me too, he replies.

You both stay like that whilst the rest of the group takes their turns. Simply staring at each other, tears in both your eyes.

Finally, Linda's voice brings you back to reality, announcing that the session is over. You and Rafe stand at the same time and slowly walk over to the door.

Once you both get outside, you head towards the car park. As fate would have it, you find that Rafe has parked next to you. Of course he has.

"This is me," you explain, waving your thumb in the direction of your car. "I know. I remember," is all he says.

Rafe turns towards his own car. He has his hand on the handle when he stops and turns his head towards you. "I miss her. Every single day."

You physically feel your heart crack even more at the crack in his voice.

With tears rolling down your eyes, you reply. "I know, Rafe. So do I."

The next thing you know, Rafe's strong arms are wrapped around you. This is the closest you two have been since you broke up and fuck have you missed it.

"I'm so sorry. It was my job to protect her and I didn't-"

He cuts you off before you can even finish your sentence, "No. No. We did everything we could and- fuck, no one could have protected her from that."

He holds you for what feels like hours, until your sobs turn into mere sniffles.

Pulling back slightly so he can look down at you, "Are you sure you're okay to drive yourself home?"

"I- uh- I should be. Thank you, though."

"Always. Text me when you get home."

You nod softly at him as you get into your car.

When you get home, you pull up Rafe's contact on your phone.

YOU: home.

He reads it almost immediately, as if he'd been waiting for your text.

Rafe: good. Rafe: i'll see you at the next meeting.

[hylianane]

I have an opinion about Holly Kujo and I’m a little scared cause I dont know the Jojo fandom enough to come in with what I think is a hot take.

I’ve noticed that, in fanworks, a lot of people portray Holly as tougher than she is in the show. And it makes sense, cause the idea of her being so weak-willed that she couldn’t handle a stand when even baby Shizuka could manifest one is kinda bs and a testament to Araki not being very confident with writing women at the time (thank GOD he got better though, so, so much better).

But. What always gets me is when her relationship with Jotaro is written to be a little more standard, still loving but with the child having a healthy fear of their mom’s anger- unlike what we see in Stardust, with him constantly being a brat, calling her “bitch” and her shrugging it off with an “Okay!”. also him getting himself thrown into jail while she still can’t bring herself to get mad, just upset. And the fanfics take a very fun play on them too, but I just worry that people who default to this dynamic for Jojo and Holly might not see how the canon characterization of their relationship is interesting in its own right.

Because even tho Holly being a doormat is a creative choice born from Araki pussying out of giving her a stand, it doesn’t change the fact that once he made that choice he gave it great importance. I think the fact that Holly’s idea of supporting her son is just accepting everything he does without any anger is central to their relationship. It’s how, despite having a mother who loves him unconditionally, Jotaro is still a very troubled teen and emotionally withdrawn. Though it’s easy to blame it on Sadao’s implied absence, or troubles in school, we don’t have a lot of textual evidence for that.

But kids who are raised without at least some semblance of discipline and structure typically stop seeing their parents as authorities, and most importantly, protectors. A more textually-backed explanation for why Jotaro is always acting tough and independent is because he doesn’t have any adults in his life who he would trust to help him. He loves his mom, he traveled the world to save her life, but while doing that he saw himself as her protector, not the other way around, not the way it typically should be.

Think about, for example, how the adult he mouths off to the least in his life is probably Avdol. And I think part of that is because Avdol walked into that police station, took one look at Jotaro, and instantly clocked everything I just said. Because while Holly and Joseph tried to to get him out with simple words (and for Holly, tears), Avdol was there to force him out. And at first Jotaro says, “If he tries to force me out, I’ll just stay here even longer”, but Avdol doesn’t give him a choice. And he doesn’t win by overpowering him (if he had, I dont think he’d have gotten the same positive result, I am not pro setting troubled teens on fucking fire) but he outsmarts Jotaro and doesn’t quit the fight until his goal is achieved. He stays in control of his emotions when talking to him, and proves himself to be someone strong and assertive. So later, on the trip to Cairo, Jotaro is more willing to rely on him than he is to rely on his own grandpa. (+, it’s a similar thing with Kakyoin, who he trusts almost more than anyone else, because he saw Kakyoin’s will and power first-hand when they met, and left with the lesson that Kak is someone he can rely on to protect of both himself and Jotaro. Someone with strong convictions, but most importantly, willing and capable of clashing with Jotaro if necessary.)

All this to fucking say. In a world in which Jotaro was raised to fear his parent’s reprimands (and I don’t mean fear to an unhealthy amount, an abusive amount), he would act very differently than he does in the show, and his relationships to other characters would probably look very different. Holly’s personality and parenting might seem like it was an afterthought to Araki, but I think he truly did take great care in making it consistent with her son’s character. She is a very loving mom, who is very loved in return, but what I think a lot of people perceive as a flaw in her writing is actually just a flaw in her character, with narrative weight and interesting consequences. And I’m not sure how many people are really aware of that.

[cherriesxinthespring]

WASTELAND, BABY!– ellie williams x reader

hi! I'm writing a new series that happens after the events of TLOU II. it's an enemies to lovers. A story about ellie eventually finding happiness and love again. She finds her light; and so do you.

Before you read the summary– please read this. Free Palestine. Do not consume tlou fanfics without educating yourself about its zionist themes.

this story is only posted on ao3. read it here.

*SUMMARY: You had decided to give life one last try. That was it. After the events in The Last of Us Part II, Ellie decides that the only way to find peace is to turn herself in to the fireflies. She finds a lead; they tell her to find you, a young woman who wanders around with no purpose. When she eventually does, you refuse to tell her where the fireflies are; if she finds them, everything that you did in your past would've been for nothing.

You embark on a journey together, walking through rain, snow and through the darkest places this cruel world has to offer. What neither of you expect, broken and traumatized, is to find the light again in each other.

"For the world is Hell, and people are on the one hand the tormented souls and on other the devils in it." (Schopenhauer, On the suffering of the world)

LINKS: read it here. playlist.

C.W/GENERAL TAGS: enemies to lovers, AFAB reader, eventual smut, gun violence, ellie kinda kidnaps you?, suicidal ideation (both ellie and reader), r! is wounded, PTSD and trauma, triggering flashbacks. canon violence in the game, depression. overall heavy themes, but happy ending i promise!

CHAPTER 1: One last try. You encounter Ellie. She follows the trail of blood you were leaving. You refuse to give her the information she wants. So, she drags you through the entire state of Montana. "You’re bold for someone unarmed and bruised, with a gun pointed to their head"

CHAPTER 2: Courage, dear heart. A small flame inside you ignites. you finally have a purpose; to mislead her, and to escape from her. You come up with a plan, and that involves earning her trust. just enough until she becomes sloppy. But you can't let her see your skills; she might see you as a threat. That plan quickly goes to waste when you encounter a large group of clickers.

“I could kill you right now,” she said, holding your own knife against your throat. Her knuckles were white from how much force she was using. Her features were almost unrecognisable.  “Then you’d break your promise,” you said. “Promises mean nothing in this world.” 

CHAPTER 3: No one left to sing to The rain doesn't stop, so you and this strange girl are forced to stay inside the cave. You're feverish, disoriented. After a conversation in which she mentions the fireflies, you decide to go through her journal to find answers. And you do.

"Are you a firefly?" she asked, like she had just read your mind, or you were thinking out loud. “not a firefly,” you said. you held back a laugh, but she saw the flash of a smirk. You, the reason why they were gone after Salt Lake City, a firefly. “Definitely not.” you paused.  “are you?” you asked. “No.”

CHAPTER 4– Your blinding light (flashback chapter)

Summer 2033, Boston QZ You waited for Hannah to come to you. Life in the QZ was simple for you; being confined in between four walls, listening to your mom's Beatles cassettes, and sneaking out past curfew. That is, until your mom slowly starts abandoning you. "Maybe Hannah was the only one you had, after all"

CHAPTER 5– This darkness i'm condemned to

Ellie and you finally reach the nearest town. And your plan is successful; you finally lead her to danger. What you failed to account for is that this danger can harm you, too.

“took them out right?" you said, trying to test the waters. Trying to sound lighthearted, but failing completely at it.  "Damn right you did," she said.

CHAPTER 6– The injury of finally knowing

taglist: since i impulsively deleted my old account, i'm tagging my old taglist. it's still me! the bitch that wrote the abby greys anatomy AU! you can still join my taglist here

@kissesskittens @zahraaziza @uraesthete @elsvrse @lonelyfooryouonly @ximtiredx @ellabsprincess @spaceshipellie @machetegirl109 @sc0ttstre3ted @taylarxse @carmellie @mayfieldsz @brooklynvwilliams @rinarchy @elliesgffr @wannabwanted @ellabsweet @sapphic-and-sappy @imyour-favouritegirl @andersonsgirl @heyabimina @novadanversss @mulan-but-gay @lez-zuha @abbys-sweat-wife @maribelo-o @peppesgirl

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