#and they're right. i could have bought something else. it was the only book about asexuality there but that's beside the point.

[howdyboh]

(after reading a book made by an usamerican author ->) why is it always about the usa :/

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 4

Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem)

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, bit of trauma processing, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings: family discord and dealing with trauma, drugs briefly mentioned, human trafficking briefly mentioned

word count: 1.7k

Chapter Selection

I thought I was a strong, independent woman. I thought I preferred to take care of myself, that I could never be comfortable relying on others. One date with Jason had me strongly questioning those convictions. He bought the books, we had a late lunch/early dinner at the food court, wandered several stores, and talked about everything and nothing. I managed to keep him from buying every little thing I looked at, but we still ended up with several bags - all of which he insisted on carrying. Even with the bags in his hands, he managed to get his pinky wrapped around mine every time my hand was down. It was clingy, and awkward to walk, and it made me giddy. Is this feeling what everyone’s so obsessed with? … I think I get it now.

Jason drove me home that night, insisting that it was getting too dark and he didn't like the idea of me on public transit alone at night. Normally I would fight him on that, but the idea of walking home from the bus stop was doing unpleasant things to my stomach. He parked, and we took several minutes to rearrange the items in our bags.

“... I guess that’s everything.” He seemed a bit disappointed.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think you're right. … Thank you, Jay, this was a lot of fun.”

He smiled softly, nodding. “I had fun too. … Can I … see you again?”

“It's a distinct possibility.” I smirked a bit. “After all, I have yet to pass judgment on your trashy romance novel selection.”

He laughed softly, groaning and rubbing his face. “I already regret suggesting that. Give it back, you can't have it.”

I held my bags away from him, giggling a bit as he pretended to try to steal them. Suddenly there was movement in the corner of my vision, and I saw a silhouette on the roof across the street. “Oh god…”

“What? What's wrong??” Jason pulled back a bit.

“There’s someone on that roof. Which one is that, can you tell?” I peered up, but with the moon behind them I couldn't see any details.

Jason turned to look too, suddenly a bit stoney. “... Looks like Red Robin and Nightwing.”

“... Two of them? Are you sure? I only see one.” He just nodded. “... Fuuuhhhck, what's happening in my stupid neighborhood?”

“Probably nothing. This isn't their patrol territory…. Or … at least, that's what I've heard.”

I raised an eyebrow, staring at him. “You've heard? … What, do they take their cars to you?”

“... Something like that. … Anyway, it's well known, this is Red Hood's part of town.”

“... You don't think they're here for him, do you? I thought they were allied now?”

Jason shook his head a bit. “Probably just trying to spy on him … nosy bitches…”

I giggled a bit at that, but couldn't help the sneaking concern in the back of my mind. If they really were here to spy on Red Hood, that would suggest he was nearby … Did he decide he wanted his shirt back after all, or was something bad happening in the area?

Jason turned to me, a gentle smile on his face. “Hey, don't worry about them. You just get inside where it's safe, ok?”

I nodded, smiling softly. “Ok, but text me when you get home.”

He nodded, chuckling, “will do. And … about seeing each other again, … how about lunch on Tuesday?”

I nodded, grinning. “Sounds good. Good night, Jay.”

“Night, Doll.” I blushed a bit, getting out of the car and into my building. He waited for me to close the door before driving away, and I headed up to my apartment.

I wasn't sure what I'd find upstairs. I hadn't told Red Hood my unit number, but it probably wouldn't be that hard for him to figure out. … Hell, the shirt might have a tracker on it.

I unlocked my door and checked every room. Nothing had moved. My clothes were still in a crumpled heap on my floor, the flannel still peaking out from under my ruined pants. It occurred to me that I had meant to pick up a replacement pair at the mall before heading home. I sat on my knees, trembling a bit as I picked up the shirt. A thorough examination didn't reveal any electronic pieces attached. It was just a normal red flannel.

I held the shirt against my chest, shaking a bit. Everything was fine. I was fine. Red Hood was one of the good guys, even if he did some really terrifying shit. I wasn't a drug dealer or a human trafficker, so he had nothing against me. He was kind to me, even. I was safe. I was safe. I was safe.

My mind slowly drifted away from that night. Thoughts of blood and fear were replaced bit by bit with Jason; his shy little smiles and cheeky grins, the feeling of his finger wrapped around mine, even the smell of his cologne. When I breathed deep I could still smell it; a rich, woody smell, with a bit of lavender, and under that was a base note I couldn't identify. Something sharp and slightly metallic. I sighed softly, deciding not to think too hard about why I was tying the shirt around my waist, and started tidying the apartment. Couldn't put the pile off forever, but I didn't have to start there…

Jason watched her go inside, waiting to make sure no creeps followed her in before the security door locked. Once he was satisfied that she was safe, he drove off, calling Dick. Straight to voicemail. He tried Tim; also straight to voicemail. Annoying, but fine. He knew where they would be headed next.

Unfortunately for them, the drive was not nearly long enough to calm him down. He pulled in to the batcave and sat on the hood of his car to watch the entrance. Eventually the pair rode in, staring at him like he was the grim reaper.

“… Heeeyy Jason! What are you doing here? Don't you have tonight off?” Tim tried to play it cool, taking his bike to its designated parking spot.

“You should be more careful, Tim. She saw you.”

“Whaaaat? I don't know what you're-”

“She. Saw. You. On that rooftop.” Jason growled a bit, clenching his fist. “Do you have any idea how hard it was to reassure her that her neighborhood was not about to be attacked without revealing too much?”

“C'mon Jaybird, we just wanted to check in!” Dick grinned, moving to pinch his cheek. “Baby Jay-Jay's first date! You can't fault us for being excited for you!”

He smacked Dick's hand. “I can and do. Don't do anything like that ever again.”

Dick hissed dramatically, pouting. “You're so mean, Jay. We just wanted to see if it was going well!”

“Stop. Spying. On me.” He growled, giving Tim a pointed glare. The younger man raised both hands in surrender and nodded.

Dick smirked as Jason opened his car door, calling out; “okaaay, but don't forget to report in to the chat. Unless you'd rather Babs check the CCTV footage at the mall for us?”

Jason froze and growled. “… Fuck….” He slammed the door shut and drove away without another word.

BatKids Group Chat:

Jason: It went well. Now everyone STOP stalking me! You're weirding her out! 😡

8:04pm

Cass: Excuse me??

8:06pm

Damian: Grayson and Drake are the only ones interested enough to bother stalking you, maybe you should focus your ire on them and not the whole family?

8:06pm

Babs: We need details, Jay!

8:07pm

Duke: Wait, what??

8:08pm

Dick: Jaybird went on a date today, Duke! Keep up!

8:09pm

Tim: With a normal human-type girl no less!

8:10pm

Damian: How normal can she be? She accepted a date with Todd after you two harassed her.

8:11pm

Cass: 🙃 … Dick, do we need to have a talk? 

8:12pm

Damian: I handled the matter at the coffee shop. (and am still waiting to be thanked, for the record Todd - the date would not have happened if I hadn't stepped in.) … But still, the girl's taste does seem questionable.

8:13pm

Dick: There was nothing to handle! We had it under control! 🙄

8:14pm

Cass: I hate to say it, but Dami does have a point - are we /sure/ she's entirely normal? There's no chance she's an undercover villain or anything?

8:14pm

Tim: Way ahead of you - background check came back clean. She's as normal as any other Gothamite.

8:15pm

Duke: So … absolutely nuts, but probably not too dangerous? 😂

8:16pm

Babs: Don’t listen to them, Jason - she's a very lucky (normal) girl!

8:17pm

Jason: You cannot be serious. You ran a background check???

8:19pm

Steph: What Babs said. Now, make with the details! 🤩

8:20pm

Dick: Of course we did - what kind of big brother would I be if I let you go out with a girl we know nothing about???

8:21pm

Jason: 😑 … This is exactly why I don't usually respond to this thread.

8:30pm

Duke: Details, man!

8:31pm

Steph: Details! Details! Details!

8:32pm

Jason: 😤 … We picked out books for each other.

8:38pm

Dick: Awww, cute!

8:39pm

Babs: … And???

8:40pm

Jason: And … She seemed a bit surprised that I was there at all?

8:43pm

Damian: Pleasantly surprised, or upset?

8:44pm

Jason: … Just … Baffled I think.

8:45pm

Tim: … How many times did you have to reschedule?

8:46pm

Jason: … A few. But I always told her with enough time so that I wouldn't be standing her up! 

8:47pm

Babs: Curious…

8:48pm

Dick: Alright everybody, recon time!

8:48pm

Jason: NO! It is NOT recon time!

8:49pm

Damian: What do we know about this girl?

8:50pm

Babs: On it!

8:50pm

Jason: No, no, NO! Stop!!!

8:51pm

Tim: Too late!

8:52pm

Jason: Uuggghh! I'm muting all of you!

8:53pm

Tim: … NOT IT TO TELL B!

8:55pm

Damian: Not it

8:56pm

Babs: Not it!

8:56pm

Cass: NOT IT!

8:57pm

Steph: Not it!!!

8:58pm

Duke: Not it!

8:58pm

Dick: …. Fuck.

9:03pm

Next ->

Divider by: @saradika 

Taglist (open):

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

Invisble String

luke hughes x actress!reader

note: short cute introduction to this au, get to know how long Y/n has been Luke's celeb crush and get to know Y/n

also in 2018 reader is 17 and Luke is 15 for reference so like do the math i can't do everything

2018

"Why do you even want to watch 'It' you hate clowns?" the eldest brother asked, holding a bowl of popcorn while he rounds the couch to were he previously sat.

"Jack asked for a scary movie so I suggested a scary movie." though he wasn't lying, both statements were true, it wasn't the real reason he suggested the movie. But like he would ever admit that to his brothers because he'd never hear the end of it if they knew. Little did he know they already did.

"He wants to watch it because Y/n L/n is in it." Jack mumbled, not looking up from his phone where he looked up the cast list, and he begins to laugh along when his older brother starts to.

"Not true."

"Too true."

"Shut up. Are we watching this or something else." Quinn says, being the mediator among the three.

All throughout the movie, while Luke was gawking at his dream girl, Jack and Quinn would make eye contact over his head silently laughing at their brothers face of awe whenever Y/n was on screen. When she walked slow-mo out of the store, the scenes at the quarry, Luke had the same face as the boys on the screen except he wasn't acting.

-

2020

73 Questions With Y/ L/n | Vogue

Y/n opens the door for the vogue camera man, after she just shut it on him.

"Hey! Y/n L/n! You excited for your 73 questions with vogue?" the interviewer asks enthusiastically.

"Yes, I am.. Does that count as your first question?"

While the man asks several questions, Y/n lead them into her living room.

"Who do you want to play you in a movie about your life?"

"Umm.. Sadie Sink. And I would like to play Sadie in the movie about her life."

"What is the knewest thing in here?"

After quickly looking around the girl grab a recent purchase of hers a stuffed octopus.

"I recently bought this stuffed animal. It's an octopus, because there's only one or else it would be octopi."

"Interesting, and what do you think is the coolest thing in this room?"

Setting down the octopus, Y/n walks towards her book case. Grabbing what looks to be a very old book.

"This is a vintage edition of Little Women the same one my mom read to me when I was 12 and the same one I reread in preparation for my role as Amy March."

While placing the book back on the shelf the man asks, "Without looking do you know what the last word of Little Women is?"

Jokingly Y/n pick the book up again and starts to open it, and the two chuckle, she then continues to answer the question. "No, um..I know, 'end'."

"End?"

"Yep. That counts as a question."

"It's actually 'this'"

"... 'This'?" the man nods before Y/n continues, "No, you're wrong it's end. Because all books end in 'the end' how could you not know that."

The interview continues into the girl kitchen, while she pours herself an iced tea.

"What is your favourite sport?"

"I don't really have a favourite sport, but I guess I'll say hockey. 'Cause y'know they're hot."

-

imessage

Rowdy

Did you see your girlfriend said hockey boys were hot?

Maybe you have a chance

Lukey

Shut up.

Luke rewatched that interview a couple to many times.

-

2023

Y/n_updates

liked by i_said_SpeakNow, LikeRibbonsInYourHair, and others

Y/n_updates: Y/n was at the New Jersey Devils vs Philadelphia Flyers preseason game! she was with the Devils wags too! Just more proof that her and Luke Hughes are dating... What do you think?

view all comments

taytaySwft: they would be so cute!! i hope they're together ☺️

_spider_man: what's with the it girlies dating professional athletes right now?

jackhugheswife: damn he could do better than her

amyMarchstan: better than the gorgeous and successful woman she is?

harrie13: I miss her and Lucas 🙁

stranger_80: No him and Sadie!!!

anne_Cats: so she's got a thing for Lukes huh?

harrie13: lmao i didn't even realize that 😭😭

TaybrinaStan: she's doing for hockey what Taylor is doing for football.

note: yes i did only make her previously date Lucas McLaughlin for that one joke that's not even funny.. what about it?

[the-kr8tor]

REQUEST FOR THE TWINS!

● the twins saying their first words

Like, imagine they're playing with toys or something, and R and Hobie are like lowkey flirting whilst keeping an eye on them, and then all of a sudden you both just hear a tiny voice yelling "Mony!" And you snap your head around and bam, Billie is giggling and yelling her sisters name 🥹

Yay! Billie and Ramona!! Hope you like it ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, mom! Reader, dad! Hobie, dad au, twins au, Billie and Ramona au, FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You watch your girls play on the puzzle pieces mat that Ned bought for them. Billie smothers her bunny plush in her sticky kisses, while Ramona babbles as she ‘reads’ her soft book about ducks. They look mighty adorable in their matching onesies, Billie in her pastel purple one, and Mona in her baby blue onesie. You have the camera in your hands, always ready if they ever do something adorable, which was every five minutes for you. Whether it's Mona showing you her toy plastic orange, or it's Billie trying to yank her ribbon off her pretty hair, you have a picture of it. You think you're about to run out of film at this point.

You feel a sudden chill on top of your head, and you immediately know it's Hobie with your drink. Condensation falls on your hair, and Hobie smirks at your narrowed eyes.

“You're rude.” Despite your words, your smile says otherwise. “I hope the girls don't get your rudeness.” Taking the drink, you reach for his sweatpants strings to tug and untie it playfully.

Hobie turns his attention to the undone strings and then to your teasing smile. “And ‘m the one who's rude?”

You giggle, hand still holding onto the strings, guiding him down on the sofa so he could sit down next to you. He rolls his eyes but relents and indulges you. Sitting down with a groan, he crosses his leg over the other before his arm instinctively snakes behind your shoulders, palm resting on your bicep. Once he looks over to you, he's met with a grin etched on your lips.

“What?”

“You've only been a dad for a year and you already have the trademark dad groan.”

He scootches closer to you, hip to hip, you place your head on his shoulder. “And you've only been a mum for a year and you're already askin’ for another one.”

You lean away, making a face that makes him guffaw. “I literally just placed my head on you.”

“You sure? Your hand on my back says somethin’ else, love.” He says with a raised brow. True enough, your cold hand is splayed over the small of his back comfortably. Billie gurgles next to his foot, placing her rabbit on top of it like it's about to go on a ride. Hobie smiles and moves down to fix her ponytail.

“I didn't even notice, Hobs. Besides, you're the one walking around with a crop top on.” You take a sip from your drink as you watch him gently tie Billie’s hair.

“It's laundry day.” He says with a chuckle, which Mona copies with her own laughter. It's a chain reaction, you giggle from the cuteness and Billie follows with her own chortle. Hobie pecks Billie's chubby cheek, making the girl shriek from happiness. “Mummy can't deny how dad looks this fit in a crop top.” He whispers to Billie, his daughter tilts her head like she's trying to understand his words. Turning towards Mona, he brings his girl to the conversation as you take a few more pictures of them. “Ain't that right, mon mon?”

“Don't answer that, mony.” You jokingly say, glass now sitting empty on the side table. Hobie flicks your leg in retaliation. Chuckling, eyes staring lovingly at Hobie, you don't notice how Mona is trying to speak. “Don't bring the girls into the argument.”

“So we're arguin’ now, hm?” Hobie sits up, palms finding your hips, holding you in place as he looms over you. He raises a brow, “say, what are we arguin’ ‘bout?”

You clamp down, lovestruck gaze stuck on his face, cheeks suddenly warm, lips trying to reach his own. “I don't know anymore.”

“Really?” He teases with a smirk, knowing full well how you're feeling. Leaning down, he nudges your nose with his own, smile mirroring yours.

“Shut up and kiss me, Hobart.” Laughing victoriously, he abandons your waist to cup your cheek. You're both giggling as he squeezes your cheek.

“Mony!” The sudden voice has you pushing Hobie away to look at your girls. He falls on the couch with an oomph, the look of surprise on his face is almost the same as yours. “Mony!” Billie says again, crawling over to her sister with the stuffed bunny in her tiny fist.

Ramona meets her halfway, giggling in excitement, smiling wildly and clapping her hands. Her cute and rotund cheeks bring out the cuteness aggression out of you, wanting to go squish her in your arms. “Bee!” She answers back, and you swear your heart took a leap. You're not ready when they start taking their first steps.

Hobie holds on to your shoulder, and you hold onto him as you watch with an awestruck face. He shakes you, laughing as the twins continue to call each other's names. They blabber about, Billie gives her toy to her sister, while Mona kisses Billie on her cheek as thanks. It's safe to say that both girls didn't get their parents’ ‘rudeness.’

“Holy shi—!” Your sudden palm on Hobie's mouth stops him from continuing his sentence. His muffled laughter makes the twins turn their heads towards the two of you, looking like you interrupted their conversation.

“Where's my camera?!” You frantically try to find the camera that might've fallen into the cushions while Billie shares her bunny with Mona.

Hobie has now left your side to sit next to them to watch their interaction like he's watching his favourite band play.

[doodle-do-wop]

Kotlc theory: spoilers for Stellarlune

I'm probably gonna slap this on discord cause I like rambling to my friends but it felt like a fun theory to drop here anyway

It's a very very VERY long plot point that I honestly kinda maybe somewhat thought about the first time it popped up but the missing star stone Gisela had commissioned into a hair thingy

Biana mentions her dad taking her to buy a comb once when she was young and that was that up until Stellarlune when the star stone is essential now for Elysian and Biana, brilliant girl that she is, has a theory about the stones and as per use, she's right. Whenever Biana has a theory there is like a 90% chance she's right or she was still right but just slightly missed the target. So it turns out Biana has had the star stone this whole damn time sitting in a box because little baby Biana didn't think it was pretty/it wasn't the one she wanted

But Cyrrah purposefully gave the star stone to Biana and yeah it could just be because no one would think twice about some little kid having what is essentially the government's biggest secret in a jewelry box for who knows how many years but could Biana have been essential to Elysian in some other way besides being the keeper of the place?

Had Alvar ever been ordered to snoop through his family's jewelry because Gisela heard they bought something from Cyrrah but everyone just shrugged her off because she's crazy and paranoid and none of Della's jewelry was special but womp womp Gisela uses her brain for something other than kicking kids and she right

I know Biana is Shannon's favorite plot device for moving things along and Dex is her favorite when she remembers he exists and needs to set a kid on fire (I really hope Dex doesn't die in the final battle because if anyone is going down to an exploding glittery rock it would be Dex but knowing him and fire Dex might survive this) but I genuinely think Biana might still have a foot in the door with this whole Elysian thing

And yeah, big shocker I'm talking about Stina again, but where the fuck did this kid get a book on BATTLE STRATEGY??? How did this 'cowardly' character who has only been in ONE FIGHT THAT WASNT EVEN GIVEN TO US IT WAS JUST SPARK NOTES NEVER TO BE TOUCHED UPON AGAIN( Shannon when I catch you Shannon) HOW DID SHE OF ALL THE CHARACTERS WHO HAVE NEARLY LOST THEIR LIVES USE THAT THING INSIDE HER SKULL CALLED A BRAIN AFTER ONE BATTLE AND THINK "hey i should learn battle strategy" WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID

Shannon hates me, it's true, she stuck a sticky note to my door that says 'I hate you Doodle-xoxo go piss girl (Shannon)' and I saw her in a Mazda waiting for me to read the note and then dramatically burn tires as she drove off, so I know this blonde woman will do SOMETHING that will make me wanna throw book 10 into the ocean. It will probably be the page count of the book for the number of 'last time on Shameless' filler paragraphs. But she'll do SOMETHING to piss me and only me straight off and it's gonna have something to do with Stina I feel it in me bones.

Cause where did she get a battle strategy book????? Who did Stina go up to and say 'hey does my library card work for goblin writings on battle strategy?'. Elves don't have those types on books they're allegedly peaceful but I mean if they made themselves forget about Nightfall and Elysian the elves might have a super secret dark history of battle strategy.

Biana, Fitz, Tam, Linh, Wylie, Stina, Dex, (I don't even remember if Keefe was there I just recall the Horse Girls and Sophie punching stained glass while Marella shows her support for the LGBT) and the rest of the adults who have so far been nerfed beyond nerffing

Unless Shannon decides she needs a book 11 book 10 is about to be the longest book I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on or worse, broken into two book parts

Shannon can't drop cookie crumbs no more she can only drop the full fucking box of cookies so that battle strategy better come in clutch like the deus ex machina I know it's going to be but I also think it's hilarious that Sophie and the gang leave Stina to her own devices for maybe less than 24 hours and Stina managed to set up a full armada in that time.

Shannon had Stina do far too many things in Stellarlune that are never touched upon/mentioned after they're said and once again, she can't drop crumbs she can only drop the whole cookie. Stina in Stellarlune volunteered to 1) talk to a psychopath 2) search through Kenric's library for a crystal that still wasn't found and 3) read battle strategy while calling herself their strongest asset

Stina has to have something up her sleeves and it better be something big or I'm fighting Shannon in the park lot again. Stina could have gotten the book on battle strategy from Kenric's library tbh and asked to check it out or she was only allowed to read it in Kenric's library. Who knows. I think it's hilarious that Oralie might've had to report back to the council that Stina Heks is reading battle strategy books. Lord only knows how Timkin handled telling the Collective his daughter is reading those books.

Can't believe Stina might be a deus ex machina in book 10, I will go crazy if book 10 is too long and has to be broken up into two parts. I still feel like Biana plays a bigger part because she always does. And this has gone from theory to nonsensical rambling but that's just how this blog rolls

[therobotmonster]

In honor of he who died and rose after three days in the grave and now grants life ever lasting to his followers I thought it only right I got into the spirit once. So Dracula, this one's for you:

Just look at it.

You have what appears to be (and is) an accountant being menaced by boobalicious vampire women twice his size, so he's got Ethan Winters beaten to the punch by 34 years. But don't be fooled. One glance into his 30-yard stare and its obvious why only Mr. Weems can stop these sinister She-Vampires:

Weems is dead on the inside yet still living, where the she-vampires are animated from within with life, while dead.

He is their antithesis.

So yeah, a pile of jank with a fun name crossed my path, and now you all have to hear about it. If you're not hitting 'J', you have no one to blame but yourself.

Released on a scad of systems, but mostly the ZX Spectrum and the C64, The Astonishing Adventures of Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires is a sort of 'Gauntroidvania'. It's also trying to push the limits of how titillating a pre-NES era game could be, though the C64 port's interface missed that memo.

The hacked c64 version was the one I played, but giantbomb had a lot of gifs from the ZX verison that I've upscaled for demonstration purposes.

The only bit of story is from the back package. Weems wants to feel something, so he's decided to take on the Great She-Vampire or die in her buxom grasp. Fair.

This game is not recommended for people with epilepsy, dignity, or in general.

Mr. Weems has a garlic gun to defend his ever-dropping blood supply (vampire hunter is an odd professon with anemia) and destroy the baddies...

All three of them, which are all introduced on the first screen!

You've got bats, they pop out of pots and attack you.

The manual says these guys are Frankenstein's' monsters, but they're clearly the giant from Twin Peaks trying to warn you that you've bought a dud.

On the C64, the lesser she-vampires are clearly based on Dracula's brides, whereas on the ZX, they're more like ghosts with big naturals.

Which means that to get both kinds of vampire babe from the secondary cover, you'd have to buy a cassette for your c64, and and for your ZX. And I don't mean a cartridge, I mean a, Cassette tape.

If you manage to stalk your way all the way to the end and find the gear you need to destroy her, the Great She-Vampire awaits:

There's no boss fight, but there is a 1 pixel nip, at least on the ZX spectrum.

From there you book it back the way you came, only every screen now has a she-vampire chasing you in a murderous rage. Make it out, and you win. Or maybe you didn't, because just like the Dungeon of Fear and Hunger, you can never really escape Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires.

Only Weems increases the immersion by truamatizing you, the player. Mr. Weems is fine. You don't have to worry about the Weems.

So...

Is it a good game?

Not remotely, but that isn't the point in the slightest.

It's temping to say this is the Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies of video games, but that's not quite right. Weems has promise and ISCWSLaBMUZ doesn't make promises. It issues threats.

Mr. Weems has the charm of a concept that's all potential and zero execution. A dead-eyed accountant gunning his way in a Gauntlet-esq blitz through a vampire-babe infested castle is a fun idea, more-so with all the secret passages and 'gather items and backtrack to the boss' aspect. It's just everything else that goes wrong.

I mean, who doesn't want to hunt the Great She-Vampire to her penthouse for a good staking, I ask you?

[fleshwerks]

tbh i do not think fans have been upset enough about bioware's shitty business practices. i see so many talk about how it's bad in the same breath as "but i'll still play the game and i'm sure it'll be great!" it's giving very "yall cant even boycott chick fil-a" energy and it's frustrating. it's nice to see someone else properly pissed about it

It's a bit disheartening, too, but I'm trying my best to put my 'world sucks and maybe this is the only happiness these players have in their life right now'. I'm also not gonna lie, I've been tempted to get the game so I could sit with it, but a mate of mine just told me that it's been out on torrents since day 1. I'm still waffling on whether to actually play it because I know this blog will absolutely descend into unhinged ranting madness and I don't want that on my brain, but if I do it, I ain't fucking paying for it.

Actually pretty proud for having held fast, though. I just can't, man. I can't buy fast fashion, and I can't buy a game and put money in the pockets of people I fucking know treat their employees like that. Bioware can keep its blood diamonds, man. I cannot support it. Fortunately I know several people who haven't bought it and pirated it already as well. I think people should take a good look at themselves and be very honest about what they're willing to support with their money. And 'it's my money and Dragon Age makes me happy' only goes so far. I'm glad it makes you happy. If a bit of employee mistreatment and human suffering is what you're willing to pay for a slice of happiness, well... that's the kind of person you are, I guess. I don't hate you, I just am now newly aware that luxury goods are worth someone else's mistreatment to you. Is what it is I guess.

It's one thing if you don't know that shady shit is going on, it's a whole other when you do. Boycotting something with your money is not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to suck. Charity and solidarity aren't supposed to be easy, change demands some personal sacrifice. And sacrificing not paying 80 euros and pirating the game instead isn't a sacrifice, it's a goddamned victory in my book.

Cheers. Vote with your wallets.

[legendofmorons]

Beautiful day (Sky)

Hey y'all this is the 3rd place prize from the 300 follower event. This is for @aluvslink .

Pairing : Sky x reader

Rating: G

Summary: How you get a boyfriend while on a picnic. (AKA You and Sky are adorable enough to give me cavities.)

Warnings: None

Other: If I missed anything please let me know

-------

You are more than happy to take the day off of questing. The others all split up into groups, leaving you and Sky to your own devices. So, of course, you ask him to hang out. (And of course, he says yes, just a little too enthusiastically.)

Which is how you two have ended up having an improper picnic in a clearing by the nearest town. With freshly bought food and a borrowed blanket, you are finding today to only get better.

Sky is laughing at the joke you just told when you feel a familiar twinge in your heart. It's the same twinge you've been trying to ignore for months. He's just a friend.

You're sure you would have seen hints if he wanted to be more than friends. So you firmly remind yourself that your feelings are not relevant here.

"You're so funny, (Y/n)." Sky says with another soft laugh.

"Thanks, Sky. That means a lot to me."

"I mean it."

"I know."

"So, tell me about your time. Ypu say you have p-hones?" He asks, thoroughly mangling the word phone.

"It's phone, and yeah, we do. They're pretty cool they let you send texts and call people."

"You can send ancient books?" He asks, brow scrunching a little in confusion.

He's adorable.

"No," You say, fighting back a laugh, "No it's more like letters. Bit they get to the other person almost immediately. "

"Oh! That's ingenious!" He says, "So if I had a phone I could send you letters and you'd get it instantly?"

"Yeah, you could. And calls are a way to talk to someone without being face to face."

"So you can hear them talk?"

"Yep! And they cam hear you!"

"What else?"

"Well, there's also social media."

"Social me-what?" He asks.

"Social media. It's a way to entertain yourself and if you don't like normal texts you an use that to text."

"Huh."

"I'll show you later."

"I'd like that."

"I do miss cars, busses, and bikes." Ypu admit, finally allowing yourself to acknowledge your sore feet.

You don't hate walking, but it's still exhausting and more than you're used to. Even if you take week long hiking trips, often three or more months of walking straight is a lot.

"What are those?"

"Forms of transportation. They came after horses and buggies."

"Oh. Are they fast?"

"They can be."

"They sound made up. I believe you! But still."

"I know. Technology keeps advancing beyond what I thought it would."

Sky just hums before he sips his drink.

"Is something on your mind?" You ask.

He looks to the clouds as if trying to decide how to answer. He sighs then.

He turns his gaze back to you.

"You know, (Y/n)... I wish we weren't so many thousands of years apart."

"Me too, Sky. What brought this on?"

He looks away again, but he does answer. "It just make things so much harder."

That's concerning. Like of course it's hard to keep friends if you live an unknown amount of centuries apart.... but still. No one else has shown this kind of worry about it.

Maybe he just think of you as a closer friend?

"Sky.... We can figure out a way to stay friends."

"That's- not what I meant."

"Sky?"

He looks back to you, his expression oddly unreadable. Of all the heroes he has one of the worse poker faces. It's endearing!

But right now, you only feel worried as his face stays unreadable.

"I had this all planned out better. I was supposed to take you somewhere nice. I was supposed to have your favorite flowers."

"Sky..." You manage, try not to get tout hopes up. "This sounds a lot like you're about to confess. "

"I am." Sky admits, reaching for your hand and settling his one on top. "(Y/n), I really like you. And I would like to ask you to date me."

"Sky!" You gasp, a giggle following his name.

"Is that a yes?" He asks, voice strained as he stares into your eyes.

"Yes!" You exclaim happily.

"You mean it? Oh, that's wonderful! But what about -"

"We've already met. That's the most impossible part of this all. We'll figure it out."

"Okay. You're right, it'll all work out. After all, I am friends with Hylia."

"If anyone else said that's I'd call them a liar."

"I know."

Sky just moves your hand and then laces your fingers together. He looks giddy as he smiles at you.

"You're so lovely." He says with a dopey smile.

"Thanks! You're not so bad yourself."

He laughs, shaking his head.

He brings your joined hands up and kisses the back of your hand.

"Let's stay here a while longer. It's a beautiful day."

And it is. It's a beautiful day, and somehow, you've gained a wonderful boyfriend in less than ten minutes.

[wearyeyebrow]

Hidden in Lace

Summary: Diluc internalizes the various roles he's meant to play, but what would it be to listen to his own desires? A night of trying something new turns into an intimate discussion with you. NotSFW leaning but nothing explicit. Tags under the cut.

Tags: lingerie, implied sub Diluc, discussion, implied sex, romance, gn reader, established relationship, hurt/comfort

-

It's late in the evening at the Dawn Winery and you're pouring over your work, holed up in Diluc's study. Diluc's purposeful footfall notifies his return and the clink of china tells you he's refilled your teacup. You sigh and stretch before taking an appreciative sip. He's pulled another tome forward, sifting through the glossary, when his deep voice breaks the silence.

"Your birthday is next month - is there anything you'd like?" 

You hum and mark your place with a finger. "Huh. I can't think of anything… wait-" your eyes light up. "Actually, there is something I want, but only if you're comfortable with it." 

His brow furrows. "What do you mean?" 

"Well... I - you see, I've always wanted to see you in a set of lingerie. Would you mind if I bought you some?"

Diluc pauses for a moment, hand hovering in mid air, "...You want to buy me something for your birthday?" 

"Well that, in and of itself, wouldn't be my present. You'd be allowing me to see you in whatever I buy - that's the gift." 

"But... you could have-" he coughs into his hand and looks askance, "No matter. I can get you something and... also do that for you, if that's what you really want." 

"Really?" You can't completely hide your delight.

He shrugs, attempting to feign nonchalance. "It's hardly fair buying someone else a present for your birthday."

"That means... you don't mind? Wearing what I pick out?" 

"I reserve the right to say no upon seeing it."

"Of course. You're allowed to say no to the whole thing too, you know?" 

He's quick to reassure, a faint smile on his lips. "I know - it was just a reminder for myself."

"Nervous?" 

"...Preemptively unsure, maybe." 

You close your book and set it on the table with a thud. "It's just a fantasy of mine. I love the look of lace and I love what you look like even more. The two go really well together in my mind's eye." 

He cocks an eyebrow, expression incredulous, maybe a little cheeky. "Oh? So you've thought about this before...?"

You smile wide, unabashed. "Indeed - especially when we've been unable to see each other for awhile. You are one of my favorite fantasies." The slight color of his cheeks contrasts with a slightly scandalized expression. "Now that you've tentatively agreed, can I take your measurements?"

-

A few weeks later and you're waiting for him to open the dressing room door, leg bouncing in anticipation. He seemed a little hesitant when you handed him the set but you just know it'll look stunning on him. 

He calls out to you, voice muffled by the dressing room door. "I believe I've managed to put it on, it's... it's a bit... I'm not sure if it suits me." 

"I'll have to see it on to decide whether I agree, right?" 

"...Would it be alright if I come out in slacks, just to start?" 

"Of course - do anything that makes you feel comfortable, and that includes calling it off." 

There's a pause in conversation, and just when you're about to ask if he's okay, the dressing room door creaks open.

Oil lamp light flickers across the wall, lighting up his body as he enters the bedroom. Your breath catches in your chest, and your words die in your throat. 

His slacks are black, pressed well and tight to his thighs. They're held up with a leather belt and silver buckle. They sit low on his hips, just below the tips of his hip bones, and you can see the delicate trail of hair that reaches his navel. The top is made of jet black lace, delicate, but there's some weight to it. The lace has a soft, almost scalloped edge, hugging the curves and concaves of his chest. The fabric drapes over his body, as if it's meant to be there. It's intricate and stunning, embellished with tiny facets of white crystal, catching and shimmering even in the dim light.

He clears his throat at your silence. You try and blink away the sudden fog clouding your mind. 

"Come here, love." You rasp, barely recognizing the sound of your own voice. He does as you ask and you rise to meet him. You drink him in, hands softly sliding against the fabric. His breath hitches at your touch, but he is otherwise silent. You finally find his face after roaming his body with hunger in your eyes. He's flushed a beautiful red, head tilted to the side, avoiding the heaviness of your gaze. 

"Darling," you murmur, and his eyes flicker to your face, "You look stunning. Words rarely fail me, but I am having trouble articulating just how beautiful you look in this." He blushes impossibly red still, slightly overwhelmed, and maybe just... slightly uncomfortable? You pause.

"I guess I've never really asked, even though I've said it lots of times. Do you like it when I call you beautiful? Or would you prefer something else?" 

"I..." he clears his throat, "I am unsure how to respond." You look at him with concern. "It..." he breathes out, and even in the complete privacy of your bedroom he can only manage a whisper. "I do like it. But... I don't feel like I should." 

You gently prompt him to sit on the edge of the bed with you. "Do you wanna talk about it for a bit?" 

He wilts slightly, "I will do my best, but I'm afraid it's - it's quite nonsensical, or rather, it's really not worth any emotional weight." 

"Even so, it seems to weigh on you. Talking about it might help, if you want to."

"But… even now?" He gestures to himself.

"Especially now, if something's bothering you."

He sighs and almost reluctantly sits next to you. "...The piece you picked out is very well made, and it - it fits well." 

You nod. "I got it with you in mind and had it tailored for your measurements." 

"That…" he sighs, still flushed red but now turned inward. "I'm glad, I'm thrilled even-" 

"You don't sound thrilled." 

"Truly I am. It's just hard to acknowledge that to myself."

You soften your voice. "What do you mean?" 

He sighs. "There are certain... images? Ideals might be more accurate, that I have always been meant for, what I should like, how I should act. I feel… like a disappointment, when I find myself unable to live up to those ideals." He sighs again, eyes fixated on the carpet, "The more time I spend with you romantically the more I find myself enjoying every aspect of it, especially those that I am not supposed to like. I… was actually really looking forward to tonight." His voice trails off. 

"Was my request a little too much..? It's okay if it was."

He shakes his head and reflexively kisses your hand, voice low. "No - it's nothing you did, I - I'm just in my head all of the time, so hung up on - on..." his shoulders drop, and he sighs, as if resigned. "I am my own person. I am not beholden to the opinions of others in any other area of my life, and yet... it feels I'm doing something I shouldn't."

"Have you always felt this way when having sex with me?"

"Certainly not."

"Then… do you remember when you started feeling this way?"

"We were both figuring things out in the beginning. You graciously went through the motions with me -"

"It wasn't about being gracious-"

"I know, I'm sorry, that was the wrong way to put it. It's more accurate to say that our courtship began traditionally." He chuckles suddenly, "Well, not completely, you were the one who approached me, for which I am thankful." You squeeze his hand. "But more recently, our - the dynamic has shifted and..." He grimaces, "Whatever the hell that means - gods, the more I say it out loud the more trivial it all sounds." 

Your brow furrows. "But if it's bothering you, it's important."

He sighs. "It just - I want to make sense of why I feel this way. I know that you and I are the only people in our relationship. What we do together is ours and ours alone. Yet I... I feel like I shouldn't enjoy it."

"What, exactly, do you feel like you shouldn't enjoy?" You ask softly, hoping he'll elaborate. 

A gentle shade of red creeps down his neck and he falls onto his back. The bed feels nice and cool against his flushed skin. You shift onto your elbow and give him some time to think. You watch his adam’s apple rise and fall as he swallows. 

"Even in Mondstadt, the city of freedom, decorum is held in high esteem. There are roles certain people are meant to play, burdens to bear. So I… I feel like I shouldn't enjoy it when we're intimate and I - I don't have to worry about anything, when I don't have to think, I can only be myself, and there's- there's no danger, it's just us." He flushes all the way down his chest and averts his gaze, "When you call me pretty, and you direct me, and you... you praise me for doing as you’ve asked. It - I've never felt…” he tapers off, biting his tongue even in the midst of his confession. “In the back of my mind there's this voice saying that I'm being too much, too needy, I don't know the word for it. Unbecoming, maybe." His eyes flicker back and forth as he gazes at a spot of nothing on the ceiling. "______, you know why I changed the trajectory of my life and why I keep the details under wraps. I feel as though, even when I enjoy something so much, it does not fit the role I'm supposed to play, and therefore I shouldn't enjoy it." He smiles wryly, "Or maybe I'm misjudging the situation. Maybe I'm just awful in bed."

You shift onto your side and rest your head against his stomach, idly tracing your finger over and through the lace on his chest. His skin is warm and your voice is gentle.

"You’re wonderful in bed, but even if you weren't it'd hardly matter, that isn't why I care for you. I'd rather ask, is this how you want to enjoy intimacy?" 

There's a beat of silence. His chest dips with every slow breath he takes. 

"Yes." 

"Me too." You seek out his hand amongst the covers and intertwine your fingers. "I don’t know if this will help but… I've never lived up to my 'potential,' I've rarely been what people have wanted, in vague terms anyway." He frowns but continues to listen, "I've tried, you know, to be what they wanted, but I couldn't even do that - that's when I realized that it's all futile. I'm…' you breathe in deeply, "I'm not going to censor myself for the sake of someone else's ideals or vision of me, especially since it never works, because, no matter what, I always come up short. But with the right people, with you, with others like me, those 'shoulds' matter less and less.” He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back.

You turn and meet his eyes. "To me, you're just Diluc. You're loyal and thoughtful, you care for moral causes and you work too hard. You have my back whether we’re fighting or resting together. I love all of that about you. And I also love you like this, when I call you pretty and your ears turn red, when you look at me like - like I'm… heh." 

You shift up onto your stomach. He feels your tender hands start to run through his hair, separating any snags onto the bedspread below. 

"You're allowed to enjoy yourself and you're allowed to feel pleasure - before anything that you are, you're a person. I don't expect any more of you than what you willingly give." 

He breathes out and sits up slowly, blinking slightly as he adjusts to the dim glow of the oil lamp. His gaze flits between your eyes and his calloused fingers run up and down your arm. His voice is hushed and a little unsure.

"...What if it's still hard to convince myself of those things?"

You tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear. "Truthfully, I don't know. I think you deserve the world, but… I'm not sure how you convince yourself. Maybe I'm also looking for the answer to that question." 

You rest your hand against his cheek and he tilts, capturing it with his own to place a reverent kiss to your palm. His eyebrows furrow and he rests his forehead against your intertwined hands.

"I think I've said all I can put into words tonight. Thank you for listening. I have a lot to think about, but I feel more at peace with myself. May I come to you again after I've given it more thought?" 

"You can come to me with anything, anytime." 

"Please know I reserve the same space for you."

His eyes close as you place a gentle kiss to his forehead. He feels you lightly tug at the garment he's wearing. 

"Would you like to save this for another night?" 

He bites his lip, as if he just realized he's still wearing it. 

“I… I did say that I've been looking forward to tonight.”

You smirk, “So you're okay to continue? I hardly know what to do with myself, you just… you look so good in lace, I knew you would.”

He can't meet your eyes but the red tips of his ears give him away.

You run a hand over the fabric. “Do you like it, Diluc?”

“...I do,” he whispers, "Archons I do."

[marchtooctober]

Macaroni Soup

Dedicated to @shiro-s2e2-erukinzu and @tare-chan because they're so adorbs

"See y'all tomorrow!"

"Bye!"

I bid my coworkers goodbye before taking the turn at the corner of the street. I had a half-day at city hall today. My next assasin gig won't be given until the weekend so luckily I can rest for the rest of the day!

Or maybe I should practice cooking or sewing? I haven't thoroughly read the homemaking magazine I bought last week. I have to work hard. I need to be more useful or else Loid will end up collapsing from taking care most of the chores...

"Oh! You're already back, Mrs. Forger!" The old lady neighbor greeted me as I ascended the stairs.

"Yes. The city hall was only open half-day for today. But everything will be back on regular schedule tomorrow."

"Is that so? Then have rest and relax yourself, dear."

"Thank you, I will."

I'm becoming more and more comfortable talking to our neighbors. I feel like I'm improving. I feel like I'm getting good at acting normal!

I can't erase the smile that's on my face even when I'm already at the door. Now I need to work hard and learn more about homemaking. Loid will be delighted once I get better!

"Okay! I should try harder! Let's practice sewi-"

I stepped on something as I walked through. Down on the floor I saw Loid lying.

"Loid!"

I kneeled beside him and shook him.

"Loid what are you doing here? What happened to you?"

He's hot. He has fever!

It's my fault... I couldn't do other chores and Loid kept on doing them for me.

I immediately hoisted him up. He gained consciousness and looked at me in confusion.

"Yor? Why are you..." He spoke hoarsely.

"You have a fever! Let's get you over to your room so you can rest!"

"No, Yor. I can..."

I put his arm over my shoulder and grabbed him by the waist. I assisted him as he walked but instead of heading to his room, he pointed to the couch instead.

"You want to rest here?"

He nodded weakly in response.

I helped him sit down then gave him a glass of water. I sat beside him and waited for him to finish drinking. I took the glass away and placed it on the table. He's pale and could barely open his eyes.

"How about work?" He asked, finally sounding better after drinking water.

"Today's a half-day. Stay right there. I'll get you a pillow and blanket."

I got up to fetch them but was stopped by Loid.

"You don't have to-"

"I'm sorry, Loid. If only I knew how to sew and iron clothes... I should've went to the supermarket and returned back Anya's books to the library instead of leaving them to you. No wonder you ended up sick because you're tired of doing everything by yourself."

"N-No, Yor! I di-"

"I'll get your pillow and blanket."

Then his hand let go of mine. I only realized that he grabbed my hand after letting go.

I brought back a pillow and blanket with me. To my surprise, he's trying to get up. I dropped the pillow and blanket and immediately rushed to him.

"No, Loid! You're sick! You and Yuri... Why are you both stubborn when you're sick? Remember, what a sick person only needs to do is to get well!"

"I have... to go..."

This is no time for Loid to think about work? Is his fever so bad that he became delirious?! Should I knock him unconscious by force?!

No no, Yor! You can't do that to a sick person! It won't do anything goo-

"Hm..."

Loid's sudden weight on me cut off my thoughts. His head landed on my shoulder and he struggled to make himself upright again. Instead of being able to do so, he ended up snuggling his head to my neck.

"H-Huh?!"

"Hm..."

Then I felt his breath tickle me. It was hot.

"Eeek!"

In shock, I pushed him away and causing him to drop and bump the edge of the couch. I earned a wince from him.

"Loid! I-I'm sorry! Did it hurt?!"

What did I do? I must have put too much force! Yor! You should be taking care of him instead of hurting him!

I kneeled to check on him. He passed out but his breathing is not too heavy.

"I'm so sorry, Loid." I muttered as I put up his legs on the other end of the couch.

I put the pillow under his head and covered him with the blanket.

What should I do?! What should I do?

"Remember what you heard from Sharon the other day, Yor! Remember what to do just like whenever Yuri gets sick! You can do this."

Should I make honeyed water? But there are no beehives around! How about the herbs? Where should I get them? No-no, no! Don't be silly! Honey can be bought from the supermarket.

"Bond! Can you watch ove-"

I fell silent upon remembering that Franky took Bond out this morning and he said that they might take a longer walk than usual. Anya is still at school so no one is around.

I have no choice but to leave Loid for a moment.

I covered Loid with blanket and put a cold towel on his forehead.

Then I made a quick run to the supermarket. I bought honey and fruits and different kinds of medicine. I dashed back as soon as I have paid. When I went back, Loid is still sound asleep.

I knelt down and took his hand.

He must be very tired. He collapsed and it's my fault for being so incapable...

I held his hand with both of my hands. Maybe if I hold it long enough, I can take away his fever.

I thought I can finally be at ease but I suddenly thought that he might not have eaten anything since he didn't leave the house at all.

It's already past noon! Loid might be starving now! I probably should cook porridge. Come to think of it, Loid cooked something like that before and it was really delicious. But how do I make it?! I don't know how to cook it. I'll have to ask for Camilla's help...

I called Camilla to ask for her help over the phone. Then I asked her if she can teach me how to cook rice porridge. I got an earful at first but I'm always thankful that she's helping me in the end. She said she's not familiar with the kind of porridge I'm talking about so she asked me what I have and gave me a recipe that will let me make something easy. I wrote down her instructions and thanked her again.

I started making Camilla's chicken macaroni soup right away. I did my best to follow her instructions correctly. I diced the carrots just as big as my pinky and boiled the pasta shells on exact time. But despite my efforts, i still managed to deform most of the pasta and shred the chicken into very thin strands. I did not put too much salt because I was told that it's easier for sick people to eat bland foods.

"Phew!"

I carefully poured some into a bowl.

Just in time, Loid woke up. He weakly sit himself up and looked around. When his eyes met mine, I was suddenly reminded of what happened.

Does he know what he did just a while ago?

I held my breath for a moment before breaking off the silence.

"How are you feeling, Loid?" I asked, taking the towel from hIm.

"I... My head hurts... Were you cooking?"

"Yes. I'm making macaroni soup if that's fine with you."

"I'm sorry, Yor. I've troubled you. Don't you have work? I'll be fine here. You should head back to work." He said.

"We have a half day, remember? I told you earlier."

"Sorry... My mind is hazy..."

"How about resting in your room instead?"

He glanced towards his room then turned to me. His eyes reflected something I couldn't fathom.

"No. I... feel better in this open space than in my confined room."

"If you insist..."

I brought over the soup to the low table and sat on the other chair.

"You're probably hungry. Here's the macaroni soup. I asked for my coworker's help over the phone and she taught me this recipe. I'm still bad at cooking but I did my best to follow her instructions."

He stared at the bowl then glanced at me.

"Thanks, Yor. I appreciate it." He said with a soft smile.

That smile of his gave a tug to my chest and warmed me up inside. I found myself smiling back.

"I've already eaten lunch with my coworkers so don't mind me. Do you think you can eat on your own? Or should I feed you?"

Loid suddenly turned to me with a surprised look. It took me a moment to realize what I just said.

"N-Never mind! L-Let me get you a spoon!"

I waited for him to taste it.

"H-How was it? I didn't put too much salt so it must be too bland to your taste..."

"I can't really taste much right now but it's appetizing. It's easy to eat and comforting."

"Really?!

"Yes." He replied.

"I'm relieved to hear that..."

Loid scooped up some more. I'm glad that I was able to cook another decent dish aside from stew.

"I'm very sorry, Loid. You got sick because you kept doing most of the chores. If only I was good with other things..."

"You don't have to apologize, Yor. It's not your fault that I caught a cold. Remember when it rained last time? I was drenched when I came home from work and now I caught the cold."

"But..."

Wait, "last time"? When? Did it really rain?

I was about to ask about it but Loid spoke again.

"By the way, you used milk? I can faintly taste it."

"H-Huh? Oh! I did!" I said.

"And there's carrots. Anya doesn't like carrots but I think she'll like this nonetheless."

"D-Do you think so?" I asked.

He stopped eating and faced me.

"Of course. Have more confidence, Yor. There's no need for you to force yourself. You're already doing you're best as it is so you'll definitely improve soon. Not only in cooking but also with other things. I would like it if you'd stay comfortable here as part of the Forger Family without being hard on yourself."

His words warmed my heart. I can't help but smile.

"Okay... Ah! Let me get you water."

Then Loid held out the bowl.

"Is there still more? I want to ask for another serving. I guess I need to eat more so I can get well right away." He said with a smile.

"Of course!"

I willingly did as he requested and gave him seconds.

"Yor."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for everything and..."

"And?" I let him continue.

"If... Anya or I get sick, can you cook this soup again?"

My eyes grew wide in surprise and I beamed up with a smile.

He's encouraging me this much so it's only right for me to do my best.

"Of course! I'll definitely cook some for you!"

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for "ruining" my friend's meal?

I (20X) live and travel around the world with 5 of my best friends, and recently we stopped in a giant city. Like, absolutely massive with a 5 million population kinda city. We booked a hotel and all that and we've been having a real good time here. One of my friends F (23X) recently took up cooking, and they wanted to try making a special meal their mom taught them for all of us. However, one of the ingredients they needed was VERY rare (both in and out-of season), so they basically gave me $30, kicked me out for the day, and told me to not come back until I found a store that sold it. Oh, and I was on a time limit of 9AM - 4PM the ABSOLUTE latest, of course.

So, I started walking around the city, asking in stores if they had it, yada yada. I saw my other friends along the way, but they weren't interested in helping me find a store that sold a very rare plant (I don't blame them tbh), so I kept searching. However, I found something cool before I found the stupid plant. I found. The cutest plushie ever. It was a cute little moth and it's antenna were REALLY fluffy and its wings were velcro-straps and- AND- it was $13. $13!!! For the cutest plushie ever!!!! So I bought it, obviously. But then I remembered that I still had to buy the stupid plant, so I kept looking around. And I found. 1 store that was selling it. But- BUT- these guys jacked up the price of it to $40!!! For 1 goddamn bushel!!! I only had $15 left (and I didn't bring any other money on me), so I had no choice but to run back to our hotel.

When I got back it was 1 PM-ish, and F was pissed. Like, I stepped through the door and they immediately started screaming. It did not help that I had a cute little moth plushie in my hand, and F immediately assumed that I blew $30 on a plushie. Which, I didn't, but I probably should've hid it from them before I walked in. I told them that their stupid ingredient cost $40 at the store, and they didn't believe me of course. They kept screaming "You spent $30 on a goddamn toy?? Are you SERIOUS?!?!" Even when I told them that cost a third of their stupid plant, they were still mad at me! They kicked me out again, but not before telling the others to follow me and MAKE SURE I get the stupid plant.

I lead them back to the store, and wouldn't you know it- I was right! The plant really is $40 a pop!! The others were really confused, but thankfully we managed to pay for it and leave. We brought it back to the hotel at around 3 PM, and F finally stopped glaring at me and finished making it. Despite the fact that I, 1) found a store that actually sold their ingredient, 2) bought their ingredient for a ridiculous price, and 3) brought it back before 4 PM, F is still really upset at me.

They're insisting it's because I "ruined their meal" (i.e. it had to cook for an extra 30 minutes), but I know it's because of my little moth plushie. It literally could not be about anything else. They're mad because I had the gall, the absolute AUDACITY, to buy something that I wanted. I just- I don't understand how they can be so angry that I chose a cool plushie over a plant. A plant. I'm just. I'm tired of F treating me like I personally killed her family because I just wanted something for myself. It's just too much.

Is cooking seriously this important to some people? Do some of y'all actually pay this much for ingredients?? Was I wrong here for not prioritizing food over a cool plushie???

[purplesurveys]

1932

1]; Are you still close with your god-parents? Most of them. My parents went about it such that my godparents were all their siblings, and they're definitely all still a part of my life. There's only one I do not talk to for a gross plethora of reasons - his Nazi leanings and DV tendencies being major ones.

2]; What machines are running in your house currently? Aircon, ceiling fan, fridge.

3]; Do you have any clothing/jewelry etc. with your name on it? I have a shirt with my surname printed at the back, but that's it.

4]; Who do you know that is pregnant right now? My aunt.

5]; Which hemp/cannabis products do you have? None.

6]; What percentage of your life have you been with your partner (or previous partner)? She's taken up a little less than 1/4 of my life. I was with her for 6 years and I'm currently 26.

7]; How many doctors are you a patient of? I just have my regular dentist.

8]; What is the theme of your calendar this year? What is this month’s picture? I don't have a printed calendar this year.

9]; What is something you remember from a recent dream? I wish I could remember. I always forget my dreams 10 mins after having them, lol.

10]; What was the last thing you cleaned? My glasses.

11]; Last thing you repaired? Not me, but I asked my sister to fix the alcohol bottle we have in the living room when I accidentally dropped it. Something came off after the fall and it wasn't spraying normally, til she came to the rescue.

12]; Are there any upcoming weddings you are attending? No.

13]; Upcoming concerts? There's Seventeen again next year, and Angela, Hans, and I have plans on going.

14]; Who do you know with the same model of vehicle as you? I don't know anyone else with a Mirage hatchback, tbh. I have a friend with the sedan version, but that's the closest it gets.

15]; What is the last thing you ordered on Amazon? I've never ordered anything on Amazon, but the last thing I bought online (from a different online shopping app) were a couple of history books/readings.

16]; What did you last buy from the grocery store? Milk and some Korean sweets.

17]; How far did you go the last time you left town? Pretty far, I'd say? I was deep in Imus and it reached about 80 km, which was/is already exhausting for me to think about.

18]; What color belt are you wearing, or last wore? Black.

19]; What kind of milk do you consume? Oat or almond.

2o]; What color is your fridge? Silver/gray.

21]; What scent did you last wear? It's a bit on the sweet, floral side.

22]; What was in the last smoothie you made? I don't drink smoothies.

23]; Last friend’s pet you pet? Luna, a co-worker's dog.

24]; Last time you shoveled? No clue.

25]; Now whatcha gonna do? I'd like to drink water first, then take another one of these haha.

[jimmythejiver]

I don't have the citations and receipts to prove it, but I swear most creative decisions in the post-Eisner era of Disney has been fueled by the fact that their biggest rival Universal owned the rights to Wicked.

Think about the fact that they had Stephen Schwartz on Pocahontas and Hunchback of Notre Dame during the Renaissance and got him for their send up Enchanted with Idina Menzel in the cast) which like Tangled and Frozen would not be what they are without Wicked, from the stupid titling scheme to initially hiring Kristen Chenoweth as Rapunzel before replacing her with Mandy Moore and ultimately hiring Idina Menzel (again) for Elsa and deciding she ain't so bad after all and hell let's delete Kai and invent Anna the plucky contrast to her to really drive it home.

How about the fact that they bought and made a meh adaptation of Into The Woods, the original 'Kind is not Good' fairytale subversion broadway show. The okay that was a thing Maleficent movies where the king rips off her wings and Mal was misunderstood she was Briar Rose's real protector, see.

The fact that they sure love to market their villains, but boy do they not like to make new ones that aren't corrupted forces of nature that need their heart back to be good again or c.e.o.'s who gave us utopia only to find out he killing the planet oopsies or deceptive seemingly trustworthy Wizard-like authority figures who will stab you in the back in their best interest. A villain is either a twist to be subverted or is the hero you followed along, see. Something tells me the Mufasa movie is their half-apology or reasoning for why Scar is like that when the new Aladdin and Little Mermaid did shit for Jafar or Ursula but make them bland because they didn't have time to bake another uwu, babied misunderstood anti-villain so they made sure they can't chew the scenery or have too big of personalities to latch onto by children either, that be irresponsible.

Disney wants Elphaba and they're mad they don't have the special sauce that Broadway somehow wrangled out of a confusing book full of misdirection that pleased no one but the author and people who hate the Judy Garland film and would never read Frank L. Baum anyway to understand these characters are just different from that film and the shoes were not the Wicked Witch's birthright she wanted their power, it was not that deep, but so much of Maguire's decisions don't work once you account for Baum's that never accounted for the future MGM's art and costuming department, casting and script consolidations, but all Disney sees is, 'That Judy Garland movie should've been ours and fuck these people making sequels and prequels, those should've been ours.'

We see the root of this problem that existed before Eisner took over with Return to Oz under Ron Miller. As a company they've never forgiven anyone for having piece of the Oz pie. Oh, post-Eisner they swung their dick again and made that forgettable James Franco prequel, I almost forgot! A warning to Universal who guarded Wicked's movie rights for decades and the anger they have that Warner Bros. still owns the rights to the Judy Garland film while all of Baum's books are in the public domain before Eisner's lawyers could lobby with Senator Bono to extend copyright law in the 90's.

Eisner cooperated with Warner Bros. to license an Oz sequence with an advance for it's time Wicked Witch animatronic in the Great Movie Ride, in fact a majority of the films i. Thatbride came from WB's vault. Bob Iger let that ride get scrapped for Pirates of the Carribean's update for Red. You know what else Eisner didn't do that Bob Iger did? Not make a stupid Cruella prequel to explain why she's so misunderstood, just a straight live action remake of the cartoon and Jungle Book that was boring, and not a whole lot of these were as churned out in his era as there was bad sequels to the cartoons, but oops Iger's doing that too.

Real point is Wicked the musical premiered in 2003, Eisner stepped down in 2005. Eisner and his people couldn't figure out the Snow Queen as anything but a romantic comedy co-starring a villain love interest because he forgot Ariel existed as a misunderstood and manipulated hero who could have served as a template for another similar Andersen character. Under Iger's people they casted og Elphaba and decided halfway they needed to not make her a villain after all. Coincidence? I think not!

[kawaii-leilei54]

EP.1 : Don't talk to strangers

A/n: haloo! This is my first book/ series! Please let me know what you guys think, thank you so much for everyone's support! uwu

You sighed.

Finally.

You shut down your computer for the day, having worked a full 5 hours without breaks. Which was a big deal considering you had been itching to read your new manga book instead that had been sitting on your nightstand for a few days.

You get up and take a bathroom break and look around for your cigarette pack. You deserved it.

There they are!...and they're empty.

Great.

You sigh deeply and rub your eyebrows trying not to make a big deal out of it, you had a long day of work after all, why was it hard to just at least one cigarette waiting for you if not a man or woman?

Putting on your hoodie and not even bothering to change out of your sweats, you make your way to the door and grab your keys and wallet.

You loved night time, it was your favorite, your most productive time, your most lit and active hours. Daytime couldn't compare to the joy night time brought you.

You look around at the lights, the vapes shops and cafes, the ramen shops and internet cafes.

You even saw a cat in an alley way and something else you wish you didn't see.

Drunks.

More like jealousy that you weren't them right about now.

You walk about farther, the air hitting just right, it was summer after all and everyone was out and ready to have an active nightlife just like you used to.

You had just been too busy lately, is what you keep telling yourself.

The truth was that you really were to awkward and introverted.

Every guy that tried to converse with you was either brushed off or you didn't recognize their efforts.

Wasn't your fault they weren't- okay yes it was.

But with that point aside, you make it to the 7/11.

This one was your favorite and not to mention convenient because it wasn't too far from your apartment.

They had all your favorite snacks, and of course what you came here for: cigarettes. You stopped buying lottery tickets years ago since you wouldn't win and it was eating up what could've been put to something else like.. Manga and Hello Kitty- I mean the rent.

You walk in and enjoy the cool air since it was about humid outside but not as bad as daytime.

That's why you stayed home, but then again it doesn't matter what season you will always argue that it's better to stay home than socialize.

"Hey y/n." The cashier says, you were sort of known here since you came embarrassingly more often than you thought.

"Hey." You say as you go to the counter.

"Same pack as before?" You nod.

You didn't buy cigarettes often, you would only smoke when you were anxious or stressed.

And boy was work stressing you the fuck out.

The cashier rings up the pack and look around the store, you see some snacks and couldn't help yourself.

When was the last time you ate?

You decide to go down the snack aisle and get you some snacks.

You hear the door ring as someone else walks in.

"Hello." The cashier greets.

"Hey, let me have a pack and some scratch offs."

You scoff to yourself.

The scratch offs are hopeless.

"Oh, and some of these." He says as he picks something else.

His voice was low and you could tell he had a satori accent, you just couldn't recognize from where exactly.

You pick up your snacks and go to the front.

You see him and stare.

His long hair, standing an inch taller than you, his black boots and rings on his long fingers.

His tiny hoop earrings and his necklace, one of them a guitar pick and another a kitty, which made you automatically not take him seriously.

He had sunglasses on his head which pushed his hair back, his cologne a bit strong but also mixed in with some other smell, you guessed alcohol.

You look down at what he bought, some scratch offs, a pack of cigarettes, some gum and tangerines.

You snort and look away.

"What?" He says as he looks at you while the cashier bags his stuff.

"Nothin'" you mumble as I try not to laugh.

Oranges? Seriously?

Though you couldn't laugh too much considering you were badgering junk food and a sausage stick.

He raises an eyebrow suspiciously before grabbing his bag and getting his change.

He walks out and you watch, forgetting momentarily that it was your turn.

You couldn't get over the fact that he really was stupid enough to get scratch offs and not mention tangerines. You couldn't get that at a regular grocery store??

"Y/n?" The cashier asks hesitantly as you stare off.

"Huh?" You say as you come back to reality.

"Sorry, what's the amount?" You say as you pull out your wallet.

"15.75." She says as you hand her a 20, waiting on your change.

You get your change and walk out, what you didn't notice is him standing there, smoking a cigarette.

You get startled slightly.

"Can you not stand so close?" You say as you hold your chest and your snacks close.

He scoffs as you puffs out some smoke.

"Or you could watch where you're going." He says with sarcasm.

You scoff back.

"Fine, but don't be mad when you get smacked with the door."

"Oh shut up I wasn't even standing that close."

You huff.

You take out your own pack of cigarettes and open it, getting a cigarette out and lighting it.

"Hm, you don't look like a smoker." He mumbles as he takes another puff.

"And you don't look like an orange addict."

"They are tangerines." He hums as he puts out his cigarettes.

"Whatever."

You watch him check his phone as you smoke your cigarette, you take a puff and look around, watching people pass by.

"Shit.." he mumbles as he puts his phone in his back pocket.

"Have somewhere to be?" You hum as you exhale.

"Maybe." He mumbles and gets a piece of gum out.

"You know that won't make up for the cigarette smell right?" You say as you raise an eyebrow.

"It's not for that smart ass."

You blush slightly, feeling embarrassed that your even in his business.

"I'm trying to quit." He announced as he puts the pack away.

You fight to say something else smart but you could tell he was being serious with you.

"I don't smoke as much, just when I'm stressed or anxious.. just to keep busy." You admit.

You had only started a year ago since the pills you were prescribed weren't working.

He sighs and leans against the brick wall.

"Same but I had a serious problem, I tried to switch to snacking but it didn't work."

Snacks..maybe I should try..

"How long have you been smoking?"

"A few years, you?"

"A year."

He smirks and you raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing." "See ya around."

"See ya orange." You joke as you put out your cigarette.

He scoffs. "Later, vanilla."

I gasp and scoff with disbelief as he walks away his hand in his pockets with a cool demeanor, which somehow pissed you off.

Vanilla?

You look down at your bag and see the vanilla ice cream dripping from your bag.

"Damn it!" You huff.

🫧✨

You walk home and set your bag down.

Now, you usually don't talk to strangers.

So you were a bit surprised at your actions, you were awkward so what made him talk to you?

With his cool attitude and laid back demeanor, his satori accident and his voice dropping with a smooth and relaxing tone-

What are you thinking?

You shake off the thought and put away your snacks.

You sit on the couch eating your melted ice cream that you were stubborn about wasting even though it spilled.

You decide to settle in for the night and watch your favorite anime, silently hoping to see the tangerine lover again.

[cicaklah]

my girl @ronniebox tagged me and so here we go!

Rules: List ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t  take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to  be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman - my mother gave me this book to read when I was maybe 11, it was her copy that she had bought when Pratchett came and gave a reading at our local library in like, 1992. I'd say no book has been more formative to me, but in writing this I don't think thats true.

The City and the City by China Mieville - I got into Mieville through my girl @crimeandcricket, and was horribly traumatised by the body horror in perdido street station, and was way too influenced by his often pretentious writing style, but the city and the city is a masterpiece I'll never recover fully from and changed me for the better.

The Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian - I'm fairly sure no one but me loves this book, but it is also a book that multiple people stopped me when I was reading in public just from the cover image. My favourite kind of book is a book that can only be written by one person, and Adrian is a theologian and paediatrician, and this book uses every single one of his hyperfixations and also made me cry more than anything else.

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster - Actually, this book probably did more to calcify my sense of humour than Pratchett did. The smartest, funniest, coolest children's book ever, and this has reminded me to get the tattoo of Tock on my wrist.

Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfield - I read this every christmas morning as a treat to myself. I also adore White Boots, the ice skating book, but Ballet Shoes is such a perfect gem of a story that is the favourite of my grandmother, my mother and myself.

Shabanu/Daughter of the Wind by Suzanne Fisher Staples - The first book that made me cry, inspired my fondness for camels and was probably my first feminist awakening? I've only read one of the sequels, but it was so brutal I still haven't emotionally recovered entirely.

The Amateur Cracksman by E. W Hornung - my mastermind specialist subject, a book that consumed me across time and space, Raffles my beloved, Bunny my beloved, I remember the moment I read the first story and my life changed literally forever. The Black Mask and A Thief In The Night are also obviously amazing and really all three should be considered one book, but something in my life changed for the better when I read the line 'AJ Raffles would be my friend!' in The Ides of March and I realised oh no, they're mine now.

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - very hard for me to choose a Ted Chiang story so thankfully I will pick his second collection, which has The Life Cycle of Software Objects and also the one about the parrots. It does not have Hell is the Absence of God or stories of your life, but tbh, software objects was the first of his stories I ever read, so it deserves to be here, even if it guts me like a fish every time.

Rivals by Jilly Cooper - if I could have anyone's writing career, it would be Jilly Cooper's. Everytime I read this insane soap opera of a book it holds me hostage until I finish it, and its like 700 pages long. The most wonderfully 80s OTT sex farce about horrible people trying to buy an ITV franchise. I genuinely can't believe that disney plus are making it into a series.

The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson - One of his least famous books and yet I think his best? I had read the Mars books several times before I picked this up, but this alternate history where 90% of Europe are killed by the black death, following how world history changes through the eyes of characters who reincarnate but always find each other, somehow??? it grabbed me by the throat and never let go.

tell me YOUR formative texts pls @crimeandcricket @deputychairman @myth-blossom @skylightpirate @stickthisbig @apricotbones @postalninja @cajunandfire @within-infant-rind

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Brigitte Empire! A writer for the Daily Telegraph who is on her way up and could use your clicks and attention! I like elevating other creators who need love and here she's elevating other creators who need love. Come and get your reading recommendations!

And while I have your attention, would you like talk about the perfect shitstorm of capitalism that elevated Potter to its kingly status in the first place?

A magical world that takes time to tell you how the jellybeans taste, and what a professional sport broom would look like, is super engaging. That is not a bad thing to do, in and of itself. It's so fun to imagine! But you know what else you can do with jellybeans and sport brooms, and magic baseball cards, and robes, and wands? You can manufacture them and sell them. Just like they are manufactured and sold in the books!

Wow, Canadian Tire really is a magical place.

Scholastic and Warner Brothers recognized that fact almost immediately. Harry Potter, as a series, contains more merchandising opportunities in book one than across the entire My Little Pony franchise - a franchise that only existed to sell toys in the first place! There are four wizarding houses, each with their own motifs, colours, and personalities. You can sell the exact same item four times over by coating it in different paint. That is irresistible to a corporation.

Why buy seven books when you can buy TWENTY-EIGHT books??

There is a mythology about where Potter comes from - a poor single mother who had to huddle up in a café to stay warm and couldn't afford paper. We sort of gloss over the fact that her family owned the café and let her hang out there for free. I can't begrudge people their privileges - I know I have my own! - but the magazine-friendly story of Rowling's rise to fame adds even more commercial value. Her promoters and publishers can shop her around to as many interviews as she can handle, and market her work to people who'd love to help out a poor single mother with a beautiful dream - even as she grows increasingly less poor and the dream turns rancid like old bacon grease.

Scholastic wasn't stupid. They smelled money in the water and went for it.

After that, there was a feeding frenzy. And we are still having it. As long as there appears to be meat on this dead animal, the sharks will continue to eat it. Why would they stop? It's their nature.

Pointing out other, better books is a strategy many are attempting. It may get a few individuals to pick up a new fandom, and maybe even get them talking about it and increasing the visibility of the community...

God love you, Brigitte, but you can only slow him down.

...but there's no way to replicate the feeding frenzy. I love Discworld. But what products can you sell from Discworld that are unambiguously branded and instantly recognizable? A T-shirt with some Kidby art? Embroidered socks?

Wow. Yeah. Socks. I suppose they fit neatly inside your Vimes-branded cheap boots.

And look how Potteresque these are! Primary colours and simple symbols - but they're almost unrecognizable! I know what's going on there, that's PTerry, the Luggage, Rincewind and a Feegle, but it'd be impossible to tell if I were wearing these at the mall. And what am I expressing with each?

"Hmm, today I feel loud and Scottish, I shall wear my Feegle socks."

"Oh, is that a Kokopelli?"

"Nnno..."

Whereas if someone rolls up wearing a yellow sweatshirt with a badger on it you know right away: "You're humble and industrious! Cedric got a raw deal! Professor Sprout is awesome!"

I'd say you can't put a price on that level of cultural saturation, but obviously you can. That's how we got that level of cultural saturation. Every step of the way, there was something for someone to sell. They put a lot of money and effort into marketing it, and we bought it. Potter is right up there with Coke, Hershey bars, and McDonald's. None of these things are good, or good for you, but they don't have to be. At this point, all they have to do is spend enough money to stay recognizable and keep products on the shelves, and people will buy them.

Oh. Sweet. New Coke. People are gonna love that. I mean, it's Coke!

There are better things to drink than Coke. But if I plunk down at a diner and say, "I would like to have a locally-sourced hard cider, preferably from the Vancouver Island area," they are gonna say, "We don't have that." And I'm gonna feel like an asshole, because of course they don't have that. In real life, I won't even ask. I'll just say, "Yeah, I'll take a Coke, thanks."

I have stopped buying Potter. It's still easier to avoid than McDonald's and Coke. But obviously I haven't stopped thinking or talking about it. And some people - who encountered it young enough to build their whole identity around the brand - are still ride or die with it. Especially now that consuming it has become a political statement, like filling your pantry with shitty Goya beans, or buying a Potato Head doll to melt in the microwave 'cos it's not gendered enough.

The potato, not the microwave. But I wouldn't be surprised if there were a new demand for gendered microwaves in this fucked-up political situation.

It's not impossible that another new franchise pops up that is just that marketable, but it is difficult for one to get started.

Established properties are a much safer investment. And that's how we're telling stories and doing art these days, to provide opportunities for corporate investment.

Potter's not going to start losing steam until another franchise of equal or greater commercial value makes it through the shark tank, and even then it's not going to go away. For the near future, we can only hope that the loud, irritable author of it stops making it worse. But she probably won't.

In the meantime, though, please do read another book. Or a free web serial with magical marginalized people in it that's updating again at 12:01 AM PDT this Sunday. Just for funsies.