#and they’re fucking BEAUTIFUL nothing I have the skills for yet. but maybe one day lol

[peapod20001]

In my conscious awake state I have trouble coming up with story ideas, but my DREAMS come up with some wild full fleshed out storylines and visuals

[strbymacaroon]

❀ 𖧷 VOLUME ONE: ORIGINS 𖧷❀

Spider-Man Eren! x Reader

VOLUME ONE: ORIGINS

Sypnosis:

An alternate universe where Attack on Titan and the Marvel Universe collide! Where the Spider-Man universes collide!

Where the new spider is the one and only nerdy, Eren Yeager. Who happens to have a world stopping crush on you.

Genre:

Attack on Titan Marvel crossover, Spider-man and Eren Yeager crossover. Multiple parts.

Word count:

22.7k Words.

『 VOLUME ONE: ORIGINS 』: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

Eren Yeager. 

Your average senior college boy. 

Charming, attractive, rich, and popular. A different lady at his luxury apartment every weekend. Star quarterback for the college football team. You know, the average. 

Eren was living the life. Peaking, even. The it-boy if you will. 

Okay, enough lying. 

Eren was absolutely none of that. Like, not even in his goddamn dreams. Was it sad, it could be. But, he didn’t let it bother him. He was pretty content with his best friend Armin and Harry. Along with his stunning camera. A beautiful 18th birthday present. 

Yet, that had absolutely nothing to do with the situation he was currently in. 

Currently, Eren was trying to silently exit the situation started by the person in front of him. Ignoring the phones out recording him and Jean. Of course, out of all the days Jean wanted to bother Eren, it was on the day he had a very, very important interview. 

A rude mantra of curses left Jean’s mouth as he placed a hand on Eren’s chest. Shoving him back with every step he took in the man’s direction. 

Yelling things at him like, Stupid cunt or Nerd. Eren didn’t even know people other than himself and Armin used the word nerd, unironically. Looks like he owed Armin ten bucks. Then another twenty to Harry. 

Honestly, Eren couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Harry and Jean were brothers. He could never wrap his head around the fact that one of his closest friends was brothers with his tormentor. He can’t even fathom how the two are related! 

They’re polar opposites. Actually, this was somewhat debatable, they’re pretty similar in the looks department. But, when it came to interactions with Eren… Harry was one of the few people that actually liked Eren. Enough to deal with him and be his best friend. That’s why they’re so close now. Purely because they’ve known each other since high school.

In all honesty, Eren was just trying to distract himself right now. He really, really didn’t want to fight Jean. He didn’t know how to fight for his life. Let alone a boy who was the star quarterback of the school's football team. He didn’t even know people actually fought until he saw one in the middle of the subway train. Over a sandwich of all things. 

It was very clear, Jean was the worst person in Eren’s perspective. A person who thought with their dick rather than their head. 

Literally. 

Jean was even worse when he was with his best friend Flash. 

Jean has a full scholarship, because of football. He was honestly nothing without it. No smarts or distinct personality, nothing that makes a person unique. He was someone who was destined to be in the NFL, an athlete ready to go pro. 

Someone everyone was dying to be friends. Not because he was a cool person, because he was going to be famous. It was a given with his looks, and skill on the field. People just wanted to boast about being friends with a pro when they were in college. Something to talk about when they were all grown up. A story for friends, or maybe kids of their own. 

But, Jean is the type of person who would kindly– no, disrespectfully, ask you to fuck off. Because, that’s just who Jean was. 

And, of course, like always, a certain someone was here to witness it all. Someone Eren really didn’t want to see get his ass beat. 

Which wasn’t out of the norm. Well, it kind of was… He’s never been in a fight with Jean, just kind of expected it to happen at some point. So, there was that. Yet, he couldn’t help but think– What did I do to deserve this? 

Which was absolutely nothing, Eren had been nothing but kind to Jean back in their youth. So much as kissed his finger when the two of them made a pinkie promise back in freshman year of high school. But no, Jean was just a huge dick and loved to flaunt it. 

You know, how every boy with a small dick is. 

Still, this was a situation he didn’t want to be in. Let alone, really know how he got in. 

So. Let’s start from the beginning, maybe that’ll help: 

Eren was your typical guy. 

Poor college student. Although, that's always been the case for Eren. He’s always had to deal with poverty. He wasn’t homeless, but he knew from a young age he had to do something to help pay the bills. 

If he wanted to eat something sweet, or treat himself to something unhealthy, he’d probably have to babysit the kids from the nice neighborhood across the town for a few hours. Technically an hour, but he always liked bringing something for his Dad. 

It didn’t bother him too much. Eren still feels like he had a great childhood. Sure, he had to worry about the random loud ‘bangs!’ in the middle of the night. Or, the odd noises coming from a dark alley when walking home. Maybe even the intense stares he got when he brought his backpack with him to the convenient store a few blocks down. 

But, other than that it was pretty great!

He was a smart, nerdy, and an awkward boy. Honesty, the typical nerdy boy. Yet, he didn’t necessarily have the completion of one. Being staggering in height, –Although, no one could tell by the way he hunched his shoulders– piercing green eyes, and the body of any girl's dream. Although, it was always covered by his baggy clothing. Something he bought from the local thrift shop or Goodwill. 

Luckily, growing up in an environment like that– he learned how to adapt, and dress himself with the money and clothing he had. Although, he didn’t really try to. He just stuck to his normal bummy outfits. It was easier this way. And, so, so, so comfy. 

Yet, Eren didn’t like to consider himself a nerd. 

Did he like anime, yes.

He did love Star Wars, yes. 

He did build the DeathStar with his best friend, yes. 

He did have a huge gaming setup in his room, yes. 

Did he have the grades and smarts, yes. 

Did he love science, yes.

Did he not know how to communicate with women, yes. 

Did he–okay, you get the point.

But a nerd?! Psh, yeah. Wrong guy. 

Eren didn’t consider himself such. He didn’t spend hours upon hours watching porn or hentai. Let alone anime for too long. He’s watched superhero movies for far longer.

Although, Eren did sometimes wonder if he was in an anime, what it’d be like. He always imagined a cheesy Slice of life anime, where a bunch of girls were fighting for his attention. You know, the average romance anime. Nothing too special. Yet, like every other anime– he was as dense as a rock, and always ended up picking the worst option. The tsundere girl who got on everyone’s nerves. 

You know, the usual horny boy fantasy. 

Eren wore normal things, at least that’s what Eren likes to think. Converse, jeans, random graphic tees, and denim jackets. His glasses held together in the middle with some clear tape. Which had whitened due to the amount applied. Being a broke college student wasn’t always the best thing out there. And finally, his hair. Which was always tied in a man bun with his pink hair tie. 

It was actually what he was wearing today. Who would’ve thought?

Eren could dress better, sure. But, sometimes it was hard. He didn’t have enough ‘nice’ clothing to wear throughout the week. So, you could only really catch him looking good once a week. If he felt like it. So, he never really stuck out. 

Although, Eren was tall, so there was that. It was something he was quite proud of. Hell, he would randomly call his Dad, explaining how thankful he was for his awesome genes. Anyways, no more appearance talk, it’ll go to his head. 

Eren wanted to work at Stark Industries. An establishment where intelligent people –such as himself– would be given jobs that would help with The Avengers. 

It was also owned by the one and only Tony Stark. Sometimes Levi Ackerman when he felt like it. A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, as Levi and Tony like to say. Which were also the guys in the iron suits. Surrounded by hightech weapons, and technology. Once helping allied forces in World War ll. 

Which happened to be taking interns at the new building within New York. It was specifically made for students within NYU. And Eren was getting an interview there. 

This was the thing Eren dreamed about doing at some point in his life. 

It was an opportunity to get a jump start into a career within science and technology. Maybe, even get a good paying job as a student. Which could snow-ball into a full time career within Stark Industries. 

Which was amazing since his major revolved around that. 

And maybe, he could even see Levi Ackerman or Tony Stark in action. Not on video, not in the news, and definitely not late at night when he should be studying. So, that was the very, very important interview he had today. Eren wasn’t going to miss it for the world. No matter what.

Back to why Eren thinks he’s going to get his ass beat.

The only thing that comes to mind, which wasn’t even that bad. Was probably his obsession with his camera. Which stemmed from the obsession he had with his phone. Well, it wasn’t his phone he was obsessed with, it was what he was doing on his phone. 

Eren was usually nose deep into his phone, and always typing something out. Writing down something more specifically. I mean, he just likes writing things down. It wasn’t obsessive, –maybe it was– but, it was enough to send concerned looks from his fellow peers. It wasn’t often. Just happened enough times to make him aware of it. 

So, maybe two or three times. Maybe even four, he can’t really recall. So, not too often. 

It started back in elementary. It was cute, just little notes on small pieces of paper to remind him of what he had to do later. Wash the dishes, wash the car, walk the dog –you know– normal things. The stuff you’d show your mom and get a head pat for. A little praise of, ‘You’re being so productive!’ And, a little treat if she was in the mood. 

Cute and simple things, really. 

Then, it became slightly different when he hit middle school. Once he got a cheap and practical cellphone. One that was able to take poor quality pictures and write small entries on the notes app. Eren soon started to ‘snap!’ photos of things. Then, write his notes under them. Which wasn’t weird either! It was actually really tame, and kinda’ of healthy. From what his father told him at least. 

A picture of his dog, a note below it saying–

-walk the dog. (Extra soft and fluffy today.) 

Or maybe, 

A picture of his best friends Armin and Harry

-call Armin at 6:30, (Changed his glasses to a different color.)

See, nothing weird!

Eren didn’t do it for every note. Just ones he felt like needed one. Ones that stood out to him, or he just wanted to capture the moment and write what was going through his head. It helped with a lot of stuff that happened when he was small. He just liked capturing the moment. Just like everyone else. Eren just had a slightly different way of doing it. It wasn’t anything bad either. It was just something cute and sweet. Like capturing the moment in his head. 

Then, high school happened. The sudden development of high tech suits, technology, and weapons happened. Along with many, many lawsuits against The Avengers. 

Suddenly, just like everyone else. He had a reason to be on his phone. Watching videos, and reading blogs about the hero made him a big fanboy. In fact, it shaped what he wanted to do for his future. Made him love Stark Industries. 

Which only worsened when his Father gifted him a nice camera for his birthday. Along with an expensive laptop to match. Which was a birthday and graduation gift. Then suddenly, Eren was taking pictures of everything. 

And I mean everything. 

‘Snapping!’ photos, and adding a mental note to each one of them. Excited to go home and upload them to his expensive laptop, ready to write the note out on paper. Or screen per say. Then, with pictures he really liked, he’d print them out and post them in his bulletin board. Connecting them to other photos that were similar. 

Eren’s room was decorated in beautiful photos. Some pictures of people with their loved ones, laughing away about something he had no clue about. Others of plants or scenery, showing the beautiful limelight of the world. The images TV’s played when you're not watching a movie or show, it was just displaying photos because it was on. 

It was wonderful. A cute hobby really. 

Until, it kind of wasn’t…

Suddenly, he was taking pictures of people he knew, or teachers. Adding notes that relate to education and his personal opinions about the person. Like how they looked that day, what they were wearing, how much it cost, things like that. Commenting on the brand of clothing they were wearing. What type of material and color. Where he could find something similar and the price listed next to it. 

Which he knew he could and would never buy, but he just liked writing it down.

At this point all his pictures held notes below them. All of them. That was in high school. He was now in college and still dealing with this… habit. 

So, that’s what he did today. Just like every other day. ‘Snapped!’ a photo of the most beautiful thing in the world. Like, he usually does! Making sure to take a moment to adjust the lenses, making the lighting shine down perfectly, and get the right angle. 

Of course, he was being discreet. He usually didn’t like the idea of taking pictures in public. Unless, it was authorized by a school event, where he was assigned to take pictures for the school. Other than that, Eren always made sure to be discreet when taking photos. He didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable after all. And, that's what he was doing now. Once the photos were taken, he brought the camera's screen to his face. Squinting his eyes and trying to view the photos. Which was a little difficult due to the strong rays of the sun. 

Despite that, he adjusted his thick framed glasses and clicked through the new collection of photos. Smiling as he tilted his head, satisfied with the new group of colorful images. A small blush on his cheeks while he adored each picture. 

Now, what was in this beautiful new collection of photos? 

Well, it was you. 

You had worn something particularly cute today. A black skirt, black stocking that covered your legs from the cold weather of New York. A white tight fitting long sleeve turtleneck, which sort of looked knitted from a distance, and a light brown luxurious double breasted overcoat. Your boots reached just above your knees, heels to give you some needed height, –he didn't mind you being short nonetheless– and black gloves that covered your hands. 

You had a gold necklace wrapped around your covered neck. Sporting a single letter representing the initial of your first name. Hoop earring to match, and a black scarf to add to your already defined look. Light make-up and clear– maybe, tinted pink lip gloss. Holding a pencil between your index, and middle finger. A pair of sunglasses pushing your curled hair out of your face. 

You looked good today. 

Well, to be fair. You always looked good. Maybe that's why everybody knows you. Well, that wasn’t the only reason why. 

Not only did you have an amazing fashion sense, but you were the sweet, kind, and helpful person that everyone liked speaking to. You also sported a really pretty face, which only helped with your bubbling popularity and personality. 

Now you, unlike him– were the ’it’ boy. Or rather, ‘it’ girl so be it. 

You were part of clubs and activities. You were appreciative, and participated in almost everything. You helped organize a lot of school events too. 

Although, Eren’s heard mixed reviews about the people you organized with. Someone saying you would never reply to messages, calls, or in person meetings. Always with a string of excuses, often related to– Art. 

Nevertheless, everyone wanted to be friends with you. But, unlike the typical popular girl– you loved making them. Loved talking to people and hearing what they had to say. Gaining names, upon names, of people that you had to remember. 

Eren doesn't know how you do it. He knows he’d never be able to do it. 

Don’t get it wrong! You were a good person! What felt like the only good in the world. Always trying to help, and willing to see other people's perspectives, and assisting them off that. With a happy and sincere smile on your face. 

You switched your legs, crossing the right one over the left, then vice versa. Resting your chin on the palm of your hand and leaning to the group of people sitting around the table. Another group of known students. That being the infamous Connie, Sasha, Annie, Hitch, and her boyfriend Marlowe.

Along with another person who wasn’t currently at the table. Someone, Eren absolutely hated. Take a wild guess who. All those people being known around the campus for different reasons, whether that being good or bad. They all loved your attention and friendship, just like everyone else. Dying to know what you had to say or do. 

A kind smile on your lips as the person who spoke had your whole attention. An airy laugh leaving your shiny plump lips when they said something that particularly tickled you. 

Only, there were two, small problems. 

You, the beautiful Y/n L/n, didn’t know Eren Yeager. 

Like.. at all. 

Which– he didn’t even blame you for. 

Eren always chooses to be alone, and not be too sociable. It’s not like he really needed to be everyone's friend. He had Armin, Harry and.. Okay, he only had Armin and Harry. Sometimes that Mikasa girl, when she wanted to talk to him. But, that was only when she wanted notes for a lecture she missed, or a pencil. He could point her out in the lecture room, and… Okay, so, maybe not Mikasa. 

However, Eren was pretty content with the friends he had. 

Totally. 

Okay, it would be nice to have more friends, but that was proving to be extremely difficult when Jean absolutely hated Eren’s guts. And, with Jean being an absolutely power hungry person who everyone desperately wanted validation from, it was kind of hard to do that. People just followed what Jean thought, coping with his actions and emotions. 

Sure, Eren didn’t have to deal with bullying from others as bad as Jean’s. But, sometimes just standing by and talking shit –or recording in this instance– didn’t make them or the situation any better. 

That’s why Eren liked you. You never let Jean influence your opinions. That’s why you were so close to many of the people Jean hated. Like Floch or Marco, actually best friends with the both of them. You genuinely didn’t care what Jean –let alone anyone– thought.

The problem with you and Eren were your social dynamics. You were known, like known. Everyone knew you and loved you. He couldn’t put it into words, so… imagine Regina George, –if she wasn’t fake, and ‘such a good– slut!’ as Cady liked to say– that was you. 

Perfection. 

Actually, maybe– just maybe, you had one flaw. Which Eren didn’t even think was a flaw.

You were an absolute Air-head. 

But, you were an Air-head who wanted to help people! Which were the best type of Air-heads. 

So, maybe not Regina George. Karen Smith suited you better. A cute bimbo. An idiot with a cute smile. But, Eren didn’t think you were a complete idiot. 

And, Eren was– well, he was Eren. No–one to be honest. Except for the average football bully’s punching bag. The weird guy in the back of his class engrossed on what was on his computer. His classmates too scared to check what he was doing– or… watching per say. 

With a black hoodie and matching face mask not helping his case. 

Then, there was problem number two. 

Circling back Jean. 

Jean’s hand came to the top of your back, resting his phone on the table as you looked up at him. Smiling and saying something he couldn’t hear. –He was like 30 feet away from you– Jean smiled at you, putting his thumb on your lip and whipping something away. Grabbing a strand of your hair, and pushing it behind your ear. 

You just giggled, putting a hand on his chest, and shoving him away playfully. 

If anything, that should be Eren pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Seeing your adorable smile as he smiled back at you. His cheeks dusted with pink from being so close to you. Maybe, you’d even agree to a quick photo shoot in the park. 

You got up, grabbing your bag and waving a kind hand at the people at the table. With everyone returning it back to you. Grabbing your headphones, and placing them into your ears, picking out some music to listen to. Then, turning to Jean and walking with him. Your right hand on your bag and the other one within his. Skipping every now and then to make him speed up his pace. Eager to get to your destination. 

Eren was pretty sure you were dating the one, and only –jackass– Jean Kirestein. Eren honestly didn’t know why. Despite being with Jean, Eren just couldn’t help himself. You were just too cute. 

Eren bit his lip and watched the way you gracefully walked, the wind blowing your hair perfectly and– Eren did what was second nature to him. Almost like walking or breathing. He brought his camera up to his eyes, and adjusted the lenses again. Seeming to forget he was in public. Trying to get the best angle before snapping a few photos of you walking. 

Sighing blissfully, and bringing it down from his eye. Looking down adoringly and sliding through the photos. His blush deepened with each one. He was so utterly infatuated with you. You were such an idol in his eyes, a beautiful piece of art.

Adjusting his glasses he raised the camera again, aiming it at you only to be startled by Jean’s face completely covering yours. Staring directly at the camera and more importantly Eren Yeager. He flinched, letting out a quick, ‘Oh shit,’ as his hand quickly shut the camera's flap, letting go of it and letting it hang around his neck. 

“Were you taking photos of Y/n, creep?” 

You stood a few feet behind him, eyebrows crossed and head tilted slightly. Your headphones tucked away in your pocket. Your hands held behind your back while your left foot was pivoted behind the right one. Lips in a small pout as you tried to figure out what was happening. Your eyes moving from Eren to Jean, curiously examining the situation. 

Oh shit, was Eren’s first thought. Followed by, Holy shit she caught me taking a photo of her. 

Jean laughed, loud and obnoxious. “Holy shit, Yeager–creep was taking photos of Y/n.” He scoffed, an amused smile on his lips as he tilted his head. Showing off a proud smile, sharp canines shining at him. “Is that why you always carry your camera around? I always knew you were a pervert, but didn’t think you had the balls to actually take photos of a girl.” 

Eren shook his head, slowly taking a step back. Only to be followed by Jean with two steps closer. “What? Were you going to jack off to them?” Jean was getting off on this, he loved to taunt Eren. He shoved Eren backwards. “Huh?”

“It’s not like that Jean–”

You let out a soft, “Jean?..” trying to pull him away from the boy he was pestering. You weren’t necessarily a fan of watching Jean bother people. Random innocent people at that. People doing what they love, and minding their own business. 

Jean looked at you scoffing, “After taking pictures of you?” He said, a hand on his hip. “Please, this is why people walk all over you, Y/n. You need to stand up for yourself.” He turned back to Yeager, glaring at him. 

“Back to this piece of shit.” 

So, that's how Eren got here. 

Awkwardly smiling as he took another step back. Jean just cocked an eyebrow, glaring at him. Feeling a tiny hand on his back, making him freeze on the spot. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to touch him right now. Not in the middle of bothering Yeager. 

You tilted your head, peering from behind Jean and looking directly at Eren. Eyebrows furrowed as you spoke, “Yeager?..” You slowly asked, wondering why that name sounded so familiar. You bit your bottom lip, “..Yeager?..” you whispered. Trying to understand what about that rang a bell. 

Before, your eyes widened, taking in a huge gasp. A big smile on your face as you poked Jean, turning his attention to you. Watching as you slowly walked in front of Eren, and looking up at him. Eyes wide with astonishment, and excitement. Eren could feel his face burning, your body was so close to his. Your sweet perfume, and small body inches from his. Eren could feel his heart beating out of his chest. His mouth opening, and closing like a fish out of water. 

Eren was trying to talk to you. But, he just couldn’t. He couldn't say anything.

You smiled at him, “You mean that one guy who takes all the cute photos of the school?” You were now directly in front of him. Standing on your tippy toes and getting closer to his face. Causing his breathing to completely seize. “You know, with his little– uhm?..” Your eyebrows furrowed together, trying to recall the word. 

“Camera?” Jean said, taking a step back. Finding it odd how intrigued you were by Eren. 

You smiled, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah, that!” You said, “That person is him?” You said point a finger at Eren. You were so cheerful and happy, it was almost… blinding. 

Eren blinked a few times at you, trying to breathe again. However, when he did, all he could smell was you. Your shampoo mixed with your sweet perfume. Maybe, some lotion on your neck. He thickly swallowed, his mind blanking and slowing down. 

Eren felt dizzy, like he was going to pass out. Holy shit, was he going to pass out?! His eyes were trained on you. Holy shit she’s right in front of me. Eren just ended up slowly nodding his head. It wasn’t even a strong nod, it was a pathetic weak one. 

You squealed, jumping up and down and turning to Jean. You honestly loved his work. His photos were always so stunning! You absolutely adored the way he could capture the essence of the moment. Which happened to include a lot of events organized by you. He somehow always made them look absolutely stunning. It just really helped getting some publicity when you didn’t know how to. 

It didn’t matter what the event was, it just always looked amazing. Honestly, Eren was really cool for that! That’s why you had his name memorized by heart, just in case you ever ran into someone with that same name attending your university. Well, his last name at least.

But, you were pretty sure you knew him. Somehow. Or, somewhere.

You turned to Jean, smiling at him like an idiot. “Jean, he was obviously taking pictures of the school!” You said, pointing to the scenery in the background. With a ‘duh!’ tone of voice. “I mean, this place is literally gorgeous.” You turned to Eren, grabbing his camera and ducking under the camera strap, and pointing it at Jean. Unknowingly pressing your back to Eren’s front. 

Caught in the middle of the camera strap in between both of your heads. You continued, “He probably needs to point it in our direction, or something.” You squinted at the camera, “Like what camera people do.” 

“Photographers.” Jean said, “They’re called photographers.” He said again, slightly annoyed. God, you could really be an idiot sometimes. Jean thought, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You nodded, “Yeah, those people!” You pointed at him playfully, smiling. You didn’t notice that you were practically pressed against Eren. Just ducked your head, leaving the confined space, and placing the camera back in Eren’s hands. Saying a soft– “Thank you!” While giving a final smile of blissfulness, causing his heart to absolutely melt. 

You looked back at Jean. Raising your shoulders and smiling. “If we’re lucky, we might even land in one of the school pictures!” 

You’re way too optimistic, and naive to really see what was happening but, Eren wasn’t complaining. If anything it was really in brand to who you were. You literally just made the perfect lie for him. One he was definitely going to piggyback off of, if he could find the courage to speak. 

And, now Jean didn’t have to fight him so– win win!

Jean slowly looked at you, then to Yeager. Jean wasn’t convinced, in fact, he was quite literally the opposite of convinced. Maybe, he just wanted a reason to bother Yeager. So, he said the next best thing. “Alright.” He slowly said, “Can we see them?” 

Eren was still trying to collect himself from the close contact he just had with you. Yet, he didn’t even need to, you were already speaking for him. 

You quickly shook your head at Jean. “No Jean!” Your voice was so cute and sweet. “That'll ruin the surprise, Babe!” You said, hands helping express your statement. You were always very animated. You turned your head to Eren, smiling at him and winking. “Right, Eren?” You put a thumbs up. Waiting for him to give one in return, it took him a second but it slowly –and weakly– happened. 

You nodded, turning back to Jean and grabbing his hand, pulling him away. Hushing him as you said, “C’on, I’ve been wanting to try this adorable candy place! Just forget about it!” You were so lucky Jean liked you. Because sometimes, you honestly just got on his nerves. He liked the version of you when the two of you were alone. 

In the end, Jean just scoffed and turned away, glaring at Yeager. You just pulled him forward. Distracting him away from the tall boy. You slowly turned to Eren, smiling and sticking out your tongue playfully. Scrunching your nose and waving ‘good-bye!’ Before, continuing the walk you were having with Jean.

Eren stood there for a minute, before finally feeling his knees cave. Making him drop down to the ground and sit on the green grass. His bulky camera pulled against his neck from the sudden movement. His heart pounding in his chest as he felt his ears, cheeks, his whole goddamn face burned up. 

His eyes were glossy and wide. A goofy smile on his clear face. 

God, he was so in-love with you. 

Maybe, he didn’t say a word. Maybe, he didn’t even breathe, but that didn’t matter. What did was– he finally got to be near you. Eren finally got to see you up close, rather than the picture he took. Yeah, he was infatuated with you– yet hadn’t uttered a word near your presence. Despite knowing you for years.

He even got to see you up close. He got to see what he admired from afar a few inches from his face. And, he was so happy with that. It was enough, he was happy with this interaction alone. Eren could die right now, happy and content. 

Even if… he didn’t say anything. 

Because, that was enough, you were more than enough. Despite this, a part of him does wish he just could speak around you. Even if that was just a few words. How? Eren has no clue. Maybe, if he had an alter ego. One that covered him head to toe with something to hide his identity. A cooler, and more confident version of himself so that he could just talk to you. 

Something utterly unrealistic. Something like that would be nice. Really fucking nice.

But god, he was so done for. 

Because, Eren learned one very important detail about himself. 

Despite how much Eren absolutely adored you. He could not, –for the life of him– utter a word around you without feeling like he was going to explode. How the hell was he supposed to start talking to you if he couldn't do the fundamentals of talking?!

God. He just wished he could. Eren really does. 

 ╭──────────.★..─╮

          Location: Eren’s Cheap, Raggedy, Apartment…

╰─..★.──────────╯

Eren was wearing the best things in his closet. 

A nice dress shirt which he bought at Ross, and a black tie he borrowed from Armin. Along with some semi-formal black pants. Unfortunately, he couldn’t find nice shoes –in his size– in enough time for the interview. So, he just had his black converses. Luckily, he stopped into a store the day before. Finding a black trench coat for him to ‘borrow.’  

Eren’s hair was somewhat tied back, the majority of his hair out and complementing his face. And, a part of him hopes that Stark Industries gives their employees a uniform to wear for work. If not, he was seriously going to be struggling with looking presentable in a place like that.

I should take a picture. Eren shook his head. Not now. 

Eren was staring at himself in the mirror, and smiling lightly. Still feeling you near him. Still able to see the innocent smile on your lips. His camera in his hands as he scrolled through the new collection of images. Smiling like an idiot, and leaning on the restroom counter. His foot placed on the cabinets below it. 

Maybe, just maybe– Eren was a little stalker-ish. Just a little. But, he didn’t have any bad intentions. He just liked to capture beautiful things in his photos. Which was perfect considering you fell into that category. Perfectly.

Honestly, the interaction between you two was just the thing he needed before an important interview. Something to get his heart pumping, and his nerves ready for the unexpected questions he was going to be asked. Eren placed his camera down on the counter. Shutting the flap and sighing. Looking at himself again. Adjusting the thick-framed glasses he had. The clear tape holding them in the middle almost taunting him. 

He really needed to buy a new pair.

Eren adjusted his hair one more time, making sure it was slicked back, and walked out of his small restroom. Ignoring the creaky boards with every step he took. Again, living in New York as a college student was hard. Eren was lucky enough to have a decent scholarship that covered a lot of his expenses. 

Did it cover everything? No. Yeah, absolutely not.

But, it was took care of enough.

And sure, maybe he had to deal with his neighbor’s loud arguments at the ass crack of dawn. And maybe, he had to buy an extra lock for his door, because he didn’t truly trust the locking system already there. Or the weird stained window curtains that barely covered the outside from inside. He didn’t care, it was cheap. Eren didn’t have the money to be picky, let alone sad about not having money. 

Despite this, he always knew how to make his apartment look presentable. It was decorated in his artwork, pictures he took when walking around the streets of New York. Having some furniture and decorative items to make it look more presentable. –You should’ve seen how it looked when he first got here– Now Eren could confidently say this was his home. A good representation of himself as well. 

He shook his head, adjusting a photo on his wall, and glancing at his skateboard. Eren quickly grabbed it. Tucking it under his arm, and looking for the keys to his house. Soon finding them, and leaving his small apartment. Making sure to lock the door and pull it a certain way so the door is fully locked. Which was something he had to learn the hard way. 

Then, he was off. 

Walking through the plain hall, decorated with the peeling light green paint that had been there for god knows how long. Weird stains of dirt or blood… giving it some decoration. Eren grabbed some of his wired headphones, looping it through his shirt and up to his ears. Connecting it to his phone and scrolling through his music list. Trying to find something he was fond of. 

He ended up choosing the song, ‘Gone, Gone, Gone.’ A song he’d grown quite fond of. Only, to be stopped by his phone ringing. He awkwardly searched his pockets, his free hand going to his back then front pockets. Finding where it was located. Of course with his heavy skateboard in his left hand. After some time, Eren just placed it on the wall, deciding that would be more practical. Then grabbing his phone, looking at the caller ID. 

‘Armeen’

He smiled then, slid his finger on the screen of his phone, and answered the call. 

“Eren!” 

Eren flinched at the loud tone of his best friend. Pulling the headphones away from his ear, and waiting for Armin to stop shouting. He could hear him shouting even without his headphones on. He wasn't even listening. Just waiting for his friend to calm down. Grabbing his skateboard and continuing his venture to Stark Industries. 

Soon, it bubbled down to silence. Making Eren lower the volume and return the headphones to his ears. He took a deep breath, and wearily asked– “Okay, are you calm?” 

There was a moment of silence. Followed by an indefinite, “Yes.” 

Eren huffed out a laugh, nodding his head and stuffing his phone back into his pocket. Grabbing the mic of the white headphones and raising it to his mouth. “Okay, that’s good.. What happened?” 

Armin took in a deep breath, taking a moment to collect himself. “You know how I said I was going to get interviewed a few people before you?” He paused then spoke again, “And, how I could help scout the area out for you?”

Eren pushed the apartment complex doors open, entering the streets of New York. Pushing the hair that got into his eyes behind his ears. Walking by the groups of people getting to where they needed to be. “Yeah? I remember.” He softly said, “I mean, I was kidding.. but, sure. Yeah.”  

Armin scoffed, finding it rediculous Eren would joke about something that involved Stark Industries. “Okay, well.” Armin sang, leaning on a wall and peering from the side. “Mr. Ackerman is here.” He quickly informed, “So is Tony Stark.” He held his breath for a second before speaking again. “And, they're now interviewing the students.” 

Eren froze in his spot. Blinking mindlessly. 

Levi Ackerman was going to be interviewing me. Tony Stark was going to be interviewing me. His heart was pounding, his hands shaking. A sudden boost of adrenaline. 

Armin flinched, hearing the call end abruptly. His eyebrows knitted together, saying a soft— ‘Hello?’ Before finally checking the screen, and seeing that Eren ended the call. He let out a small laugh, dropping his phone by his side. A charming smile on his lips as he looked at the ceiling. Letting out a small, “Huh.” of acknowledgement. 

This wasn’t going to be good. 

Sure, Armin told Eren what wanted to. Partially. Yet, he’s pretty sure he should’ve started the conversation differently. Maybe, said something along the lines of– ‘Not only that, but–’ to keep his best friend on the line for a bit longer. 

So, he was a little guilty. And, what could possibly invoke this feeling in Armin you ask? Well… Tony Stark and his brother Levi Ackerman were going to be the interviewers. Armin knew Eren was going to freak. Maybe even die by such people colliding within the same time period, and goddamn room. But luckily, he already warned Eren about that. 

But, that’s not worrying him. Something else was making him worry.

What? You may ask?

Well, the third person that was going to be interviewing him alongside Levi and Tony was…

╭──────────.★..─╮

          Location: Outside of Stark Industries…

╰─..★.──────────╯

Eren was out of breath, lifting his skateboard off the ground and grabbing it with his free hand. Taking a moment to catch his breath, and stare at the huge building in-front of him. 

This was it. He was here. 

About to get interviewed at Stark Industries by the one and only Levi Ackerman himself. Aka, Ironman.

Mostly.

Eren felt like he was going to faint, maybe even throw up. Possibly scream with excitement. Something was about to leave his mouth, and he honestly couldn’t tell what it was going to be. Good or bad. 

Eren thickly swallowed, looking directly in-front of him and staring at the doors leading into the building. Okay, maybe the nerves were coming back.

Eren thickly swallowed, shaking his head and walking inside. The automatic doors opened almost instantly. Fresh and cool air hitting his body. Which wasn’t too pleasant considering how cold it was. Yet, he didn’t mind for two long. His breath was stolen by the establishment in front of him. All the technology, and innovations within. 

A digital display of Levi Ackerman and Tony Stark placed back to back in the middle of the large room. Showing off their Iron suits, and displaying some of the mechanics and offensive moves. 

A limited number of people were actually walking around, but the ones who were seemed to have purpose. A reason, and their confidence shined through. If not, they were sitting down in conversation with someone else. 

The place was so futuristic. It almost looked fake. Things you’d see in movies, and only movies. Elevators and staircases, a lot of staircases. People wearing things he didn’t even know existed. Let alone want to know the price of. Eren was astonished. He’s never seen so many pieces of technology and plants in one room. 

Jesus! Are any of these real?!

Both his hands went to his neck, trying to grab his camera and capture the moment. Thoughts bubbling into his head to write down. Information entering then leaving, because of how much he was taking in. 

Shit, my phone. Where’s my– 

“Excuse me?” 

He stopped frantically checking his pockets. Turning his head to the side, eyes meeting the women who called out to him. She was a sweet looking girl with red hair and kind eyes. “Can I help you?” She had a casual outfit, more casual than the other people within the building. Which made her stand out. 

Did I stand out?

Eren cleared his throat, standing up straight and walking towards her desk. Slightly tripping over his feet as he inched closer. He looked down, trying to see what he tripped over. Only to see his now scuffed shoe. 

He tripped over nothing. God, I look so bad right now. 

Eren gave an awkward chuckle, looking forward and leaning on the counter. “Yeah, uhm. I’m headed for the Ackerman interviews.” He sheepishly said. 

She looked to the side, like she was thinking. Only for her eyes widened with excitement, “Oh! You’re one of the students!” She said cheerfully. Turning away from her computer, and giving Eren her full attention. “Great! Your interviews are taking place on the sixth floor.”

Pepper, as her name tag said– turned over her shoulder. Pointing at an elevator, “Sixth floor, and the door all the way down. Room number seventy two.” She looked back at the computer, typing something. “I’ll tell Levi and Tony that another one of his interviews are here.” 

Eren bit his lip. “Wait, how many interviews is he doing today?” He tilted his head slightly. 

Pepper tapped her foot a few times, clicking something on her computer and scrolling. “Uhmm..” she drawed out. “Around three to four hundred.” 

Eren could feel his heart drop. He was going to need to stand out from four hundred other students. Students who also passed the most difficult micro-technology, and fringe-science test given to even get an interview, ever?! 

Eren just forced a smile, which didn't look too pretty. He huffed, nodding his head. “Alright then.” 

Pepper looked at him for a second. A smile on her lips, “I promise you– it’s really nothing to worry about.” She leaned on the palm of her hand. “It’s just you’re competing with other extremely intelligent students your age that share very similar characteristics.” She shrugged, “But, you’re special in your own type of way, I’m sure!”

Eren felt his eye twitch, another forced smile and laugh. As he seethed, “Thank you, Pepper.” Looking at her name tag again.

Her eyebrows itched together for a moment. Clearly showing her confusion, before she scoffed. Looking down at her name tag for a moment then back to Eren. Choking out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, please.” She said, “Call me Petra, only Levi and Tony call me that.” 

Along with Pepper herself. 

Both of them usually got mixed up at the establishment. It just turned into an inside joke between the four of them. Levi, Tony, and Pepper. Enough to the point where Tony would purposely switch their name tags. 

Eren nodded again, ignoring the anxiety put in him. Grabbing his skateboard, and resting it under his arm, holding into his backpack strap for comfort. Walking towards the elevator. 

His phone vibrated, a small ‘ding!’ ringing through the small room of the elevator. 

I should mute that. Woah, this is a nice elevator. I could probably get a cool ground shot if I– Not today, Yeager.

He shook his head, grabbing his phone and looking at the notification. Seeing it was from his best friend Harry. Definitely what he needed to distract himself, considering how nervous he was getting. 

Harry Osborn

Tell me how your interview goes

Since your such a FREAK for things like this

Eren

That's the plan

Eren silenced his phone, slipping it back into his pocket and sighing. Leaning on the clear wall behind him, because of course the elevator was made of glass. Allowing Eren to observe the establishment as the elevator went up. This felt so surreal. There was no way this was really happening. 

The door opened, revealing the huge floor. It was mostly marble, and windows. Considering it was just a massive hall leading people to different rooms and secured areas. Only granting access to those who held key cards of their identification. 

Maybe, that would be Eren one day. 

Eren shook his nerves out, smiling and walking forward. Reaching the waiting lobby. Or, what Eren thinks is the waiting lobby. It was quite, more fake —or real— plants decorating the room. Some chairs and pieces of technology displaying something to entertain the guest. 

What surprised Eren was the other receptionist sitting in the corner of the room. He just slowly walked to her, being extra aware of the floor to not trip over nothing this time. There were a bunch of other students in this room. 

The woman behind the counter had a somewhat similar complexion to the girl downstairs. The only thing being really different was their outfits. Her outfit being more mature, and fitted. Like she did work here. A formal working coat, and her hair straightened. Nice light makeup, and a name tag. Eren couldn’t help but notice her name tag. He laughed, seeing it read, ‘Petra.’ 

“You must be Pepper.” He said, a small smile on his lips. 

Pepper laughed with him, hand covering her mouth as she nodded, “Yes, I’m Pepper.” She got up from her chair, reached to the end of her desk and grabbed a few papers. “I’m guessing you met Petra.” She grabbed a pen, placing the two things on the counter. Ready for Eren to grab. 

Eren put a hand on his neck, “Yeah, I kinda inferred your name tags were switched.” 

Pepper smiled, nodding her head. Sitting back in her chair, and rolling back to her computer. Grabbing her mouse and clicking something. Saying a small, “Smart,” as she typed in a few things. “Actually, believe it or not. You’re the only person today who’s made that connection.” Pepper clicked on the interview times, causing a scroll of names to pop up. “Which is weird considering how many mini-geniuses we have in this room.” 

Pepper bit her lip, her eyebrows knitting together. Saying a small, “Guess that makes you special.” She took a moment to really look at her screen, before opening her mouth again, about to ask Eren a question.

“Eren Yeager.” He quickly said. 

Pepper blinked at him for a second, before smiling. Nodding her head and looking back at the computer. Clicking onto the name ‘Eren Yeager.’ Pepper, winked at him. “Thank you, just the thing I was about to ask you.” She pointed at the papers again. “Just fill this out, and once your name is called..” she looked at him. Smiling excitedly, “It's show time!” 

Eren nodded, looking at the papers and grabbing them. Then, looking around the room, trying to find a place to sit down. Which was a little hard due to the scary vibe everyone was giving. 

Which, he couldn’t even blame them. Everyone in this room was competing for the single space. 

Eren settled with the seat next to a.. fake.. real?… plant. Far enough to get some personal space, yet close enough to the interviewing room. Which was currently closed. Eren placed his backpack and skateboard to the side. Grabbing the pen and filling out the form. Seeing it was an equation on nanotechnology, along with some other form of physics. A combination of the two and some other things along those lines. 

God, not another test. Jesus Tony, you’re killing me. 

“Yes, I promise to be back before the next interview.” 

A sweet, and really familiar voice spoke. A girl? No shit it’s a girl Eren. 

“Yes, I know, I know.” 

Eren looked up, feeling his heart stop. Cheeks are heating up with a red color. Holy shit. Holy shit. 

You closed the door silently, shaking your head and giggling lightly. Catching the attention of everyone in the room. I mean, who wouldn’t want to look at you?

You took off your coat, placing it on a plant. Okay, yeah, they’re all fake. Then grabbing your name tag and pressing it on the door next to the one you just exited. Taking a moment to look over your shoulder and peer at the students. Wanting to know the other people you would be interviewing with the Stark brothers. 

When your eyes locked with Eren’s. Your body froze, hand horror-struck on the doorknob as your eyes widened for a second, which— Eren could confirm, wasn’t excitement. 

You quickly changed your expression, smiling and scrunching your nose. Thickly swallowing, and waving goodbye. Walking into the room and closing the door behind you. Tense from seeing a person you were familiar with. Sure, you were happy to see a familiar face. Even if you didn’t really remember his name, it was always good to see someone you were familiar with. 

Mostly. 

Just not in this situation. Not when you were at Stark Industries. Something you desperately wanted to keep separate from your college life. You could feel yourself cringe. 

You softly sighed, looking at the ground. “Crap.” 

Eren’s face was burning. Ears tinted red and his heart beating out of his chest. Why the hell is Y/n here?! He could feel his throat drying up, he needed water– air, Wait shit! Am I even breathing right now?! He quickly inhaled, seeing he was indeed holding his breath. Eren closed his eyes, before getting up and placing the papers down on his seat. Leaving it behind to try and get some –needed– air. 

Eren left the waiting room. Pushing the doors open and stumbling forward. Making sure not to trip and then walking around the sixth floor. Exploring the area as his heart slowly returned to normal. Which wasn’t helping considering how nervous he was to see you, and you being here. 

Eren sighed, leaning on a wall not too far from the waiting room. A locked door right next to him, another room where an ID card was needed to enter. Eren just needed to turn the corner to walk back to the waiting room. Something he didn’t know if he wanted to do just yet. 

Eren did have one more problem to solve from the test Pepper had given him. So, he really should go bac–

“No, Jean.” Your voice rang out, “I already told you I can’t go to your game today, I’m already doing a–“ you paused, scrunching your nose. Taking a moment to think, looking at your surroundings and sighing. “An art thingy.” You said, slowly looking at the ground. The black heels that Jean bought for you, clicking against the marble ground. 

Eren pressed himself behind a corner, staying there to collect himself. Holding his breath like you could hear him. Debating on whether or not he should walk past you, or just go around. I’m just going to walk around. But, before he could leave, Jean's voice replied to you. Catching his attention. 

“C’on, you’re always doing some shitty art thing.” He said, his tone obviously annoyed. “Your art, Y/n, isn’t going to get you anywhere.” He insulted. 

You furrowed your eyebrows together, softly sighing. Closing your eyes, and dropping your head. Eren couldn’t see you, but he could feel your emotions. 

He was an empath like that. 

“But. I can.” Jean continued.

You opened your eyes glossy. Your nose a darker hue as you sniffed, awkwardly laughing as you spoke. “Jean, you know I’m–“ you sniffed again, sighing this time and giving up on explaining what Jean already knows. “I– I’ve gotta’ go.” 

Jean said something, but you ended the call. Leaning on the wall and softly groaning. Looking at the ceiling and biting your bottom lip. Blinking rapidly as you tried not to let tears fall. 

Eren was at the opposite side of the corner, feeling a part of him hurt.

If only I could say something. 

If only I could say something.

The same thought traveling through both your heads. Desperate and calling. Both similar goals with different routes and outcomes at the end of them. 

You sighed, pushing yourself off the wall and walking away. Going towards the waiting room. Wiping your eyes lightly with your sleeve. 

Wait, you were walking towards him. Shit! Shit!

A panic shooting through his body as he looked around. Watching as people passed him and shooting them a panicked look. Almost as if they knew what was happening and we’re going to somehow help him. 

Now, what Eren did next– he isn’t very proud of… Eren done worse, sure. But still, it was definitely something he doesn't like to admit, or even think about really. In fact, every time he recalls this memory, he always tries to force a different way these set of events happened. 

Eren grabbed the ID of the worker walking past him. Pressing it on the screen lock, and entering the locked door right next to him. Quickly shutting the door as quietly as possible. Holding his breath, with his back pressed to the door as you passed by. Heels clicking with every step you took. Which made the situation way more dramatic than it actually was. 

You stopped for a moment, staring at the door and raising an eyebrow. Looking at the person who just passed by. Noticing a few odd things about them. Something’s not right. 

You put your hand on the doorknob, before shaking your head, and pulling away. You needed a break. You just needed sleep. You just turned on your heels, waving ‘hello’ to whoever passed you, and continuing back to a different room. 

You didn’t feel like going back to the conference room, just yet. The interviews with the Stark brothers could wait. 

The people applying for this job were intelligent. A very simple way to put it. And, intelligent as in– Why the hell are you in college, and not working for NASA. Just some smart place like that. 

One thing that all these people had in common was– the lack of friends. It was to the point where all of them were closed off, it looked like a lot of them haven’t spoken to someone in awhile. It just didn’t sit right with you. 

That's why you made sure to be very engaged with everyone. Nodding your head and smiling when they brought up something familiar. Grabbing their hands and giving them your full attention. You know some people want to be heard, so you always make sure to give people that feeling that they were. 

Eren sighed a breath of relief once he couldn’t hear you anymore. Closing his eyes and shaking his head. Feeling his hands shake. God, I’m so pathetic when she’s near me. Eren pushed himself off the door, looking around. 

Wait, why is she here?! That thought didn’t last. What did, was the next one. Wait, where the hell am I?

Eren looked around the room. Noticing all the chemicals and computers were in this room. Along with glass beakers and paper filled binders. Okay, I definitely shouldn’t be here. 

Eren turned back to the door, ready to press the ID card to the sensor when he heard some talk. Like, right outside the door. Well, he could always wait for them to pass by. It's not like– The lock turned green. Unlocking the door for them. 

Oh shit. 

Eren looked around the room, finding no place to hide. God, this is bad. Eren just groaned, finding another door and thinking– good enough. Before he pressed the key-card to the screen, and shoved himself inside. Shutting the door the exact same time the other door opened. 

He thickly swallowed, closing his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows. Back pressed to the door as he tried to listen. Seeing if he got caught, or if the people heard something. 

“You think John’s coming?” The mystery person asked. Sounded like a male, maybe an older gentleman. 

“No, I just told him I’m grabbing my laptop. Told him to just wait for us.” A female voice responded, she sounded around the same age. 

“Where is your laptop?” He asked. 

She moved some papers, “In this room..” she said. Grabbing some beakers and moving it to the side. Causing the glass to loudly ‘clink!’ against each other. “Ah!— found it.”

Eren sighed, relaxing against the door. Hearing the couple make some small talk, and thankfully it seemed like they were going to leave soon. Which meant, he wouldn’t have to panic for too long. Actually, maybe he should. What was this room?

Eren was in a dark room. That was a lie, it was illuminated by the blue light on racks. Racks of what? You may ask. Well, even Eren didn’t know. From this distance, it sort of looked like racks of– Cotton?.. Strings of cotton, maybe?

Weird. 

He squinted his eyes, seeing some black dots on them. Moving neon dots. 

Wait, what is that?

Eren pushed himself off the door, and walked forward, squinting his eyes and pressing his glasses to his face. Trying to see what the hell was in front of him. Unfortunately, the 5 racks were moving in a circle. Making it even harder to see what it was. 

He walked along with him, staring at the small neon dots. His nose a few inches away from one of them, only to stop dead in his tracks. His stomach dropped. 

“Spiders.” He whispered, eyes widening. His body tensed. Eren took a step back, his mind blanking in fear. “Spiders.” Another step, “Spiders.” He said, absolutely awed. 

For the worst reason.

Now, the one thing Eren was terrified of. Even more than you, –despite you being his favorite thing in the entire world– was spiders. 

He genuinely could not stand them. At all. 

Eren didn’t hate them. No, in fact, he wished he did. Eren was just deathly afraid of them. That’s why he couldn’t stand them. The long legs, bunch of eyes, and fast speed. The shits can climb walls, and have weird super strength?! Are you kidding me?! God really fucked the world over when creating those little devils. 

Eren can’t express how terrified he was of them. Couldn’t look at them, scared. Couldn’t kill them, scared. Once moved out of a house because he saw a tarantula, scared. Which, who wouldn’t?

That’s how scared I am of them. Fuck the little scary devils. 

He bit the inside of his cheek. Taking a bunch of steps back. Bumping into the wall and falling on his ass. His glasses fell to the floor, shattering one of the lenses. Which he couldn’t care about right now. He just needed to get the fuck out of this room. Like, right now. Maybe even kill himself if he couldn’t leave. 

Almost instantly, his skin was crawling. Were the devils on me?! He swatted at his skin, trying to remove the feeling. Despite nothing being on him. A common thing once he sees the horrible creatures. Even if they were feet away from him.

He looked back at the door he entered, forcing himself up and rushing outside. At this point, he didn’t care if the people were still there, he just needed out. Unfortunately, during that crazy flight-or-fight reaction, he ended up running through the cobwebs. 

Oh my god. I'm killing myself. 

Eren forced himself through the door, shutting it behind him and grabbing the cobwebs in his face. Peeling it down and muttering, “Gross.” Then tossing it to the floor. Shaking his hands as the cobwebs still clung to his fingers. Strings of stickiness dangling from his fingers. 

Eren shuttered as he removed the rest. Watching the webs slowly peel away from his skin and clothing with every movement. It felt like they were still on him. I mean, they still were. Strings or cotton decorating the floor and his hands. 

This was disgusting. 

Eren finished removing them. Shaking his head for the last time, and walking to the door he entered. Pressing his ear to it, trying to hear if anyone was near before existing. Then closing the door and dropping the key card on the floor before discreetly walking back to the waiting room. Pushing the doors open and walking back to his seat. Ignoring the looks from the other people in the room. Along with Pepper’s. Just staring at his seat like he wasn’t gone for half an hour. 

He needed to finish one more problem before–

“Eren Yeager?” You smiled at him, putting the clipboard under your arm. “It’s now your turn.” 

Eren put his hands to his face, shutting his eyes and taking in a deep breath. God just really hates me, doesn’t he? Eren grabbed his things, awkwardly shoving them all together and making his way to the door. 

Until–

What’s this weird sensation.. What’s on my hand?-

A spider. 

You looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Seeing as he froze in his spot. Staring directly at his hand. Almost like he was entrenched by it. You took a step in his direction, trying to look at what he was staring at. “Uhm, are you.. Okay?..” You softly asked, tilting your head at him. Looking at what used to be his glass covered eyes. 

Then, it bit him. 

Eren let out a pathetic and weak laugh, I’m going to pass out. 

Eren wasn’t even joking. He was literally going to pass out. His head felt heavy, and his eyesight slowly turned into static. Oh my god, I’m going to pass out. He staggered forward, blinking rapidly. His ears ringing and block out the noise in the room. His head is leaning forward from the impossible heavyweight of his head. 

“Eren?” 

Your voice rang through his head. Causing his eyes to instantly go to your frame. Before he could even register it, his body was leaning on your small one. Easily holding up his weight. You looked at him, readjusting your hands to better support him. Your nose is almost touching his. 

Your cherry lip gloss overcoming his senses, sweet perfume and innocent eyes. Curious and filled with worry as you looked at him. You hand lifted to cup his cheek. Eyes wide and on him, and only him. “Oh my gosh! You’re– You’re burning!” Despite the situation, your voice was still cute and innocent. Filled with desperation. 

You hand pressed against his chest, the other one on his face. Making him look directly at you. God, you were so close he could feel your body against his. Your chest pressed against his chest. Making his skin deepen in color. 

In that second, Eren gained all the energy he needed. His face flushed, as he pushed himself away from you, everything that he was holding falling to the floor. Due to it being a momentary strength, he lost it almost immediately. Falling to the floor. 

Your eyes widened, going on your knees with him. “Levi! Tony!” You hurriedly shouted, “Get some help!” You looked at him, your eyes glossy brimming with hot tears. Eren couldn’t help but think, You were always very sensitive, and so caring when it came to people. You grabbed his face again, placing the back of your hand on the top of his head. Feeling his temperature, again, you repeat yourself. “Oh Honey, you're absolutely burning.” 

“What’s happening?” Levi spoke, his sharp gaze landing on Eren. His brother, Tony, followed behind him, lifting the glasses he was wearing to the crown of his head. They were probably reading glasses.

Of course, this had to be Eren’s first interaction with the brothers that owned this very building. Just great. His literal heroes were watching as he burned up on the floor. With his crush trying her best to comfort him. 

You turned to him, “I– I don’t know! He just fell on me, then–”

“Passed out on the floor, right.” Tony said, he closed his eyes for a second “Get up. Y/n, help him to the– the..” He snapped his fingers a few times, trying to think of the word. 

Pepper smiled, shouting, “Health-room!” from her desk. 

Tony pointed at her, “Ah, yes. Health room.” He forced a quick smile at her, “Thanks, Pepper.” Tony looked back at you, “Take him there for me, yeah?” 

You nodded, looking back at Eren and cupping his face. “Oh Love, where are your glasses? Aren't you blind without them?” You tilted your head. 

You weren't wrong, but Eren knows that's not how that works. Like, at all. Sure, he had thick lenses, but– he wasn’t blind. Yet, Eren didn’t have the energy to correct you. To be fair, he never had the energy or the balls to correct you. 

You wrapped his arm over your shoulder, picking him up –with surprising ease– and leading him to the health room. Making sure to say soft praise for each step he took. If Eren was more aware of the situation he would’ve been freaking out. Your small hand on his body, forcing weak steps out of him. Then, praising him with sweet words. 

Levi looked at all the stuff on the ground, letting out a small scoff. “I just had this floor cleaned yesterday.” He softly said, making Tony look at the mess with him. 

Tony let out a small chuckle, “Yeah, well…” He grabbed Eren’s backpack, tossing it on a chair, and looked at his skateboard. “God, did he come here on this?” He shook his head, leaning down to grab the skateboard only to stop. Looking at the small thing near it. 

“Levi.” Tony’s voice was stiff, like he forced it out of him. Closing his eyes and sighing heavily. Levi looked at Tony, glancing at what he was looking at. Then, he kneeled near the ground. Almost instantly, Levi was groaning alongside Tony, looking away and rubbing his temples. “Don’t tell me that spider came from the kid.” A rhetorical question, one that Levi wanted to roll his eyes at. 

Tony reached inside his pocket, pulling out a tissue. Grabbing the spider and bringing it closer to his face. Looking at it, almost sighing with annoyance. “And, it’s one of ours.” Tony grabbed the skateboard, putting it along with his backpack and papers. 

“Send someone to go check–”

“On it!” Pepper shouted, a smile on her lips as she pushed herself from her desk and walked out the door. Grabbing some of the staff and walking toward the ‘situation’ room. 

Tony shook his head with amusement. Looking back at Levi saying, “This is why I love her.” Before getting up and handing the tissue to Levi. Letting his glasses drop over his eyes, turning over on his heel and walking into the room. 

“Tell Pepper to cancel the rest of the interviews, we have our guy.” 

Levi’s eyebrows furrowed together, not convinced by what his brother was telling him. They’ve done at-least a hundred interviews, and now he’s choosing to be lenient when picking someone? After regarding a student because he didn’t like how they sat? Yeah, Levi wasn’t convinced. “And, what if he’s not what we want?” He expressed, his hands crossed over his chest. 

Tony laughed, shaking his head once. Raising his eyebrows and turning to Levi. Straightening his posture and saying, “Well, we’re going to make him what we want.” He said cooly, pushing open the door he exited and walking into the room. “No matter how far from it he is.” 

Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue and followed Tony. “You just don’t want to deal with a lawsuit.” Shutting the door behind the both of them. 

Tony nodded his head nonchalantly, “That too.” 

╭──────────.★..─╮

          Location: Stark Industries Infirmary…

╰─..★.──────────╯

Eren’s eyes adjusted to the light, a soft groan leaving his lips. He was laying down on a scratchy surface, which felt slightly cushioned. Was it a bed? A really uncomfortable one? For some reason, Eren could also hear people talking– was that a beeping noise? Eren let out a soft groan, stirring in the uncomfortable bed. 

Wait, where am I? 

Eren quickly sat up, hearing the beeping noise get louder, only to see it was a heart monitor. It took him a moment to process, confused about the situation. When it hit him like a truck. 

Oh. That’s right. He's still at Stark Industries. He passed out, if he can recall correctly. He raised a hand to his temple, rubbing it. His head was pounding, something that only worsened his weakened state. He was thirsty, tired, and mostly embarrassed. Eren didn’t even want to think about what happened. If anything, he couldn’t even think.

But he shamefully couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

How Eren practically fell on you. He probably looked so stupid. Eren tried to ignore that thought, he was way too exhausted to think about that. He thickly swallowed, lifting his head and looking in front of him. 

Yet, for once in his life— he really, really, didn’t want to see the person in front of him. Not like this. 

You were sitting across from him on a plastic chair, typing away on your phone. Your lips pressed together, and eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Right leg crossed over the left one as it bounced. Your eyes went up, looking directly at Eren. Feeling a pair of eyes on your frame. 

You smiled at him apologetically, getting off the chair and placing your phone down on it. Looking at him with concern. You bit your bottom lip, awkwardly resting your hand on top of your heart. Somehow pressing your chest together perfectly. Eren would have appreciated the view if he was more awake. And, if he had his glasses. “Are you feeling any better?” You softly asked. Tilting your head at him innocently. 

Eren sighed, leaning his head back and nodding. His hands gripping into the white sheets that covered him. Lips pressed together tightly in a straight line. He really didn’t want to talk to you looking like this. 

You got closer, standing in-front of him. You were about to speak when Eren beat you to it.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, eyes trained on you. It’s been forever since the last time he actually spoke to you. This was probably the worst thing he could’ve started with, but this question was killing him. Why were you here?

Your eyes widened, surprised by his question. Surprised he even said something. Since Eren had a habit of staying quiet when you were near. You thickly swallowed, “Why are you here?” You asked, smiling at him. “Are you gonna’ be one of those white lab coat people?” 

“Scientists.” 

You pointed at him, nodding your head in agreement. “Yes, scientists.” You said, turning away from him. 

“Why are you here, Y/n?” 

You giggled, “I’m just like a receptionist. I write things down.” You softly said, waking to your seat. “My Dad works with Stark, and managed to help me get a job here.” You grabbed your phone from the chair and turned to him. Your face burning with embarrassment, “I don’t even know what a receptionist does, pretty stupid, huh?”

You weren’t looking at him. 

Which was good, you would’ve seen the absolute confused face Eren had. He didn’t even want to ask more questions. Because he knew he wouldn’t like the answer. Eren didn’t want to know how an air-head like you got a job like this. 

An adorable air-head. Although, a part of him was slightly salty with the amount of connections you had.

You grabbed your bag, “Anyways!” You said gleefully, “I think you're big enough to handle the rest of the way home.” You walked to the door. Leaning on it. “Or, do you need me to walk you?” 

Eren shook his head, trying to release the hold he had on the white sheets. Only to find them.. stuck to his hands?.. 

You took a step backwards, looking at Eren. “Alright then, c’ya!” You pivoted on your heel. Eren just watched the way your skirt twirled with you, flipping up and flashing him your panties. Eren looked away, his ears red. 

He didn’t need his glasses to tell what just happened. 

Once you were gone he looked back at his hands. Eyebrows furrowed as he tried to pull the sheet away from his hands. Feeling himself grow antsy, and panicked. Why couldn’t he?– Let go!

Eren sighed, relaxing his shoulders. Closing his eyes and just thinking. Which was probably the worst possible thing to do given his situation, but it’s all he could do. He hated being alone in his thoughts. Eren finally felt his hands pull away. It allowed him to look at the sheets, then his hands. He slowly breathed out, “Oh-kay.” Eren leaned back in the bed. Looking at the ceiling, processing what happened. 

“That’s– new.” 

╭──────────.★..─╮

          Location: Your Comfy, Comfy, Apartment…

╰─..★.──────────╯

It was night when you finally made it home. And, it was time for your daily facetime. You placed your phone on your restroom counter, washing your face with makeup remover. “Okay, look.” You said, grabbing a towel and patting your face. “Harry’s a cute boy, tall, nice, and awkward. So is his brother Jean, I know that.”

You propped your phone up. Looking at your best friend Gwen. “And, I mean, really nice.” You had a small blush in your cheeks. “But, he’s like–“ you tried finding the words. “Weird? Different?.. I don’t know, it just feels like he’s forcing himself around me.” Or, it feels like he shouldn’t be around me. 

Gwen nodded, “Weird as in, he hates you? Or weird as in he likes you?” She said, raising an eyebrow. “When people like someone, they tend to be awkward or rude to that person.”

You paused, looking at your reflection and blinking innocently. “Likes me?” You said, feeling butterflies swirl in your stomach. Your friend laughed, making your face heat up again. “Gwen, I’m being serious here.” You softly wined. 

“No, no. I’m sorry, s’just you’re really cute.” She shook her head, “I get why it can be confusing, usually guys don’t act like that when they like someone.” She said, “I can’t remember the last time someone was awkward around me, because they liked me. I’m almost jealous.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Anyways, please continue..”

You sighed, kneeling to the floor. Looking directly at your phone, “He’s… I don’t know.” You tilted your head to the side, resting it on the counter. “I don’t even know what to say about him. There’s nothing about him that would make me feel like this. It’s just… it’s uncomfortable.” You whispered that last part. 

Maybe, this is why you’ve never been in a relationship. 

You sighed, getting up and grabbing some face cream. “It’s weird, I just feel like he… he’s hiding something. Or, is trying to hide that emotions are changing. I just— I don’t know…” You felt your chest tighten, “That type of weird.” 

“I don’t think I follow you.” Gwen shrugged, “Nevermind that. But, Y/n, I don’t know if you know this, but– you two work at enemy corporations.” She said in an obvious tone.

You let out a small, “Oh yeah.” Making her loudly laugh, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. 

She shook her head, continuing. “He’s literally the son of the CEO of Oscorp Industries.” She laughed, “While you’re working at Stark Industries. It’s a given that he’s going to start acting different since he recently started to work there.” Gwen noticed how you got uncomfortable. You didn’t like speaking about your work. She didn’t like saying it but, she guessed it was because you felt guilty about how you got it. She heard a few rumors.

Gwen didn’t believe them. 

“So, he’s acting weird?” Gwen said, changing the subject back to what you were more comfortable with. “Is this a one time thing? Or, something that’s been constantly happening?” Gwen laid down on her bed, and propped the phone on her desk. 

You sighed, taking a moment to respond. “I don’t know, he just– it's been happening for a few days.” You pouted, “He was always distant from me, so I didn’t really know him until recently. And, when I first met him he seemed fine. Then– then this started happening.” You sighed, leaning on the wall. 

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “Seemed?” 

You sighed, grabbing your phone and walking into your bedroom. Your bedroom mostly dealt with whites and pinks, a good representation of who you were. A cute girl who was kind and soft. Your bedroom was decorated in drawings and paintings. Maybe some pictures you printed out of friends and family. 

The ground was dark hardwood, covered by a fluffy, big, and pink carpet. Your bed was decorated with a white sheet, a small cream blanket over top. Fluffy white pillows on top, and tossed around. It was almost like Eren’s, just way more organized and girly. And, you know, instead of pictures it was your artwork. 

You placed your phone on your desk, and searched for your computer. “Yeah, seemed,” you quickly remarked. You found it in the middle of your sheets. “And, now he’s just acting like everyone else.” You looked to the side, slightly saddened by it. 

“Really?” 

You nodded, opening your computer and shutting the windows that were open. You were doing homework. Then, opening a website. 

“The same as in?…“

“Same as in..” you sighed, trying to think of the words. “It feels like he doesn't see me as a real person anymore.” You pouted lightly, “I'm sure he sees me as this perfect, pretty girl.” You sighed, “When I’m really just a normal boring girl.” If only he knew who you really were.

“Do you like him?” Gwen asked, watching the way you hesitantly shook your head. She bit the inside of her cheek, “I mean, is that necessarily a bad thing?” She said, “I mean, I would want the guy I like to see me like that.” 

You wanted to send a jab at her so, you quickly said, “Just say Peter Parker.” You said, sending an adorable glare at her. You could never look mean. 

Gwen suppressed a laugh, shaking her head. “Y/n, you know me and Peter aren’t anything.” She said playfully. “I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind that.” 

“Gwen.” You said, slightly whining. “You and Peter are destined to be together. Don’t you think I don’t hear the way you talk about him.” You said, accusingly. A finger up and pointing. “It seems Peter really likes you.” You looked down at your hands for a second. “The real you.” You turned your head to the side slightly, sighing. “The worst part is, the two of you have only been talking. I don’t know how the two of you aren’t in a relationship yet.” 

You stood up, grabbing a picture above your desk. Taking it down from the bulletin and looking at it adoring. It was a picture you drew of Gwen and Peter. “You guys have been talking for a few months, I honestly don’t know why the two of you aren't dating yet.” 

Gwen quickly responded with, “It’s complicated.” She took a moment, collecting herself and sighing, biting her bottom lip. “And, like I said. Peter and I aren’t anything.” She pointed a finger back at you, “But, back to what you were saying. No one in the world is going to know the real you. Only you can.” Gwen said. “Even then, you don’t entirely know that either, we’re still figuring out what we are. Who we want to be, things like that.” Gwen smiled at you, “You can only get comfortable with someone. Comfortable enough to act more like yourself.” 

You sighed, “I guess.” You looked to the side for a moment, trying to recall something. “Wait, didn’t you date Harry for a little?” 

Gwen’s eyebrows furrowed, “What? No?!” She shivered, “I mean, he liked me and we were talking. But, that ended forever ago. Like I said, I’m pretty sure he’s into you.” 

You blinked a few times, “Oh.” 

She laughed, leaning on the palm of her hand. “Uhg, Y/n.” Gwen groaned playfully, “You’re such an idiot.” 

You sent her a glare, making her raise her hands up. Still, a playful smile on her lips. 

“Sorry, is bimbo the better term here?” She rested on her hand, ignoring the rude glare you were giving her. “You were the one who started it by calling yourself that.” 

You groaned, typing something on your computer, “I didn’t even know what that meant.” 

Gwen giggled, “Then, I think that makes it even more ironic.” She smiled, “Definitely not one of your proudest moments.”

You just muttered a small, “Be quiet.” The call went silent for a moment before you spoke. “A boy passed out on me.” 

“What?” 

You giggle softly, nodding your head. “Yeah, It was a surprise but, I didn’t really mind.” You pouted, “Well, I did but– I could’ve been worse. He could’ve thrown up on me, he literally turned white.” You looked to the side smiling, “And, he was kinda’ cute.” You whispered that last part, your cheeks burning. 

“Y/n?” Gwen said playfully, surprised. “That’s a first? I can’t remember the last time you’ve called a guy cute.” She tapped her lip, “If I recall correctly, I think it was high school guy.”

You shook your head, clicking onto a picture on your computer and grabbing your thick sketchbook. Flipping it to a blank page, and grabbing a pen, clicking the button a few times. “Shut up, Gwen. He was just– awkward..” You laughed, scrunching your nose cutely. “And, the good type of awkward.” 

“Oh, you’re so in love.” 

“Oh my god, Gwen.” You whined, “This is why I don’t tell you anything revolving guys, you always assume I’m in love with them.” You crossed your arms over your chest, “I could tell you they killed my parents, and you would still think it’s some weird enemies to lovers situation.” 

“Hey, to be fair, I never bothered you about Harry!” 

You glared at her.

Gwen laughed, nodding her head. “Yeah, whatever you love me.” She tilted her head, wondering what you were doing. “And, what are you doing now?” 

“Some artsy thingy.” You sighed, leaning into your palm. “I love drawing.” 

“I know.” She had a smile, watching you relax into yourself. Lip jutted out in a pout as you tried to think of something to draw. Then, you were drawing on the blank paper. Ignoring Gwen. 

She just laughed, shaking her head. She always envied how you could lose yourself into your art. Block out the entire world with every stroke of the pencil. She smiled, saying a small. “I love you,” before ending the call. Knowing full well you didn’t even hear it.  

You sighed, hearing the phone end. Putting your pencil down, and leaning back in your chair. Grabbing your computer and finishing what you were typing from before. Clicking onto the Email Mr. Stark sent you. Which wasn’t common, since he insisted on calling or texting you. Eyebrows met together as you stared at what was in front of you. 

You were actually going to have to do something different at work. You signed, placing your head on the desk and closing your eyes. You were going to be a tour guide. For someone that shouldn’t even know you work for Stark Industries.  

Eren.

“God, I’m so screwed.” 

╭──────────.★..─╮

         Location: Eren’s Comfy, Raggedy, Apartement…

╰─..★.──────────╯

Eren loudly sighed, getting his keys and squinting at the door lock. Trying his best to see the keyhole, as he inserted the key into his lock. God, he really needed his glasses. Then, forcing his door a certain way to unlock it. Prying the door open. Internally cringing at the loud rumble of the door scraping against the floor.

Eren walked inside his creaky house, and shut the door behind him. Some of the pictures he strung up fluttering due to the movement, then locking the door, placing the keys on the counter. Hearing them clang against the ground, of course they fell to the floor. He really needed his glasses. The worst part being, he probably couldn’t even afford another pair. Not for a while at least. 

He could try calling his Dad, but…

Eren bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head. How am I supposed to take notes? He tried not to think about it right now. He just really needed a nap. Maybe, an eternal one. 

“Where have you been?” A voice rang out, “Your interview should’ve ended six hours ago.” 

Eren softly groaned, shaking his head and looking down at the floor in defeat. “You’re right, it should’ve.” He looked at his unwanted guest, smiling, “I’m pretty sure I didn’t get the job.” He let out a small chuckle, leaning on the counter. Hell, he didn’t even get a chance to do the interview.

Eren looked at the door, then to his friend. Feeling his eyebrows mush together for a second, displaying his confusion, “Wait, how’d you even get in?” He pointed at the door, then his guest. “Wait, Harry.. Did you steal my spare key?” Eren let out a sarcastic laugh, putting a hand to his temple. Trying to recall the last time he tried looking for it, then saying to himself, “So I didn’t lose it.”

Harry shook his head, pressing his lips together. “Actually you did, I just happen to be the one who found it.” he flashed a charming smile, winking at Eren. “Pretty convenient, right?” 

Eren rolled his eyes, knowing that Harry probably found it around his apartment and decided to take it. Like what he did with his camera, and sometimes computer. He’d always return it yet, the damage was done. The porn was already found. Not a fun thing to come home to when you know you didn’t exit out of the tabs.

Eren sighed and reached up, opening his cabinet and grabbing something to drink with. Picking out a pink color changing cup, an item he got for free when buying an icy. Turning his head to his unwanted guest and saying, in the most strained way possible, “Thirsty?” 

Harry squinted his eyes at him, crossing his arms over his chest and quickly saying, “Eren, stop deflecting.” He stood up from the couch, “Just, tell me what happened.” He didn’t mean it to be hostile, it just came out the way. Harry felt he couldn’t correct his tone, so he just dealt with the small guilt in his stomach. 

Eren leaned down, resting his hips against the counter. Trying to stabilize himself. “I–“ he sighed, leaning his head back. “I didn’t get the job, Harry.” Eren put the cup down on the counter, trying to breathe. “I didn’t get the job.” Eren said it again, knowing he was just trying to process the sentence in his head. 

I didn’t get my dream job. 

“Eren–“

Eren cut him off, “Harry, I had such a shitty day today.” Eren laughed, looking at Harry. “This day is my thirteenth goddamn reason.” He shook his head, “Like, if I randomly die. It’s because I killed myself.” He shook his head, reaching for his fridge. Grabbing some cold water he stored earlier that day. 

Harry laughed, but quickly covered it with a cough when Eren glared at him. “Hey man, if it ever comes down to that. I’ll jump off the cliff with you.” He obnoxiously sighed, “My fathers been up my ass–” He paused for a second, like he was thinking of something. Soon enough Harry’s eyes lit up, “Wait, you didn’t get the job, right?” He said with a smile.

Eren squinted his eyes at him, putting his water back in the fridge. “Way to rub salt in an open wound.” Eren suppressed a laugh, “Yeah, I didn’t get the job.” 

Harry smiled, “That's good!” Eren quickly sent him a look over the small fridge door, making Harry instantly realize what he did. “No, not good.” He quickly corrected, “I mean, good for you– me.” Harry pressed his lips together, deeply inhaling and exhaling. 

“Take your time, Love.” Eren said coolly. Waving his drink in the air. 

“Shut the fuck up, Eren. I’m trying to help you here.” Harry suppressed a laugh and smile, trying to stay composed and ‘mad’ at Eren. “Since, I am working at Oscorp. I could –I don’t know– get you an interview for a position of some kind?..” Harry sighed, leaning into himself. “I know it probably won’t be something like Stark Industries, but–” 

“No thanks.” Eren said, a smile on his lips as he looked at the drink in his hands. “As much as I appreciate it, Harry, I prefer to work for what I earn. Makes the reward way more satisfying.” Eren felt his eyebrows meet together, his head suddenly booming with pain. Worse than before. “But, thank you Harry. I sincerely appreciate it.” 

Harry smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “Of course.” 

Eren pulled the cup to his lips, drinking the cold liquid. Feeling his headache soften for a second then quickly return. God, this is hell. Eren sighed into the cup, placing it down and deeply inhaling. Trying to relax. “How’s you and Gwen going?” 

Harry sent him a look, “How’s you and Y/n going?” 

Eren raised his eyebrows, quickly inhaling through his teeth. Grimacing. “You wanna’ go first?” He laughed, pushing himself off the counter. Walking towards the living room and looking at some of his pictures. Reminiscing about when he took them.

Harry sighed, “Things just happen and people fall…” He closed his eyes, “..people fall for other people.” 

“She likes someone else now?” Eren said, a smile on his lip. He tried to suppress it. Trying his best not to display his amusement. Something Harry picked up on immediately. 

“No, she doesn’t.” He quickly defended, “Well, I– I just don’t know.” Harry sighed, leaning his shoulder on the wall. Looking at the picture Eren was. “It feels like she’s talking to someone else, or just likes someone else altogether.” He kept his eyes on the pictures in front of him. 

Eren looked at him, “I don’t think so. Gwen seemed really set on you the last time I spoke with her.” He smiled, “So, you could just be over thinking it.” 

“No, I’m not.” He waved his hand, “Besides, I’m talking to another girl now.” Harry took in a deep breath, before releasing it. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Gwen’s talking to–” Harry shook his head, “Yeah, but– enough about me.” He said, a smile on his lips. “What’s happening between you and Y/n?”

Eren sucked in air through his teeth, “Honestly, I think I’m going to bed. My head’s killing me.” 

“Eren.” 

“We can talk about this tomorrow, or in class–” he said, twirling around slowly. 

“Eren.” 

He stopped moving, smiling at Harry. “When we’re going out to eat and–”

“Eren, what happened?” He said, smiling at him. “You always want to talk about Y/n. So, tell me. What happened?” Harry had a sympathetic look.

Eren took a deep breath, smiling and pulling away from the wall. Grabbing the picture he was looking at. Then laughing, accepting the situation he was in. “If I had any chance with her, I threw it down the drain.” He shook his head, laughing sarcastically. “Dude I– I ripped it up, and threw it in her face.” He smiled again, looking at the ground and sighing. He fell on top of you, there’s no coming back from that. So embarrassing. 

Harry scrunched his nose, nodding his head. Looking at his friend's face, “Dude, where’d your glasses go?”

Eren gave him a look that can only be described as, ‘really?’ before speaking, “Now you notice?” He just put his hands into his pockets, walking to the couch and sitting down. Letting his legs spread, and leaning his head back, trying to get comfortable. “It’s a long ass story.” 

Harry shook his head, walking to the couch and sitting next to him. Trying to think of something that would help his friend's mood. “Eren, I know you already said no, but me and Armin are going out to a comic con..” He slowly said, “Do you want to come? Help you get your mind off things?” 

Eren smiled, bringing his head forward and looking at Harry. “I think I’m going to rest.” He laughed, feeling his head throb. “I wasn’t lying when I said my head was killing me.”

Harry nodded, pushing himself off the seat and standing up. Looking at the pictures of you, and then Eren. Feeling himself close his eyes, then sigh. “Alright, I’ll talk to you later?” 

Eren smiled, nodded his head and reached his fist out. Waiting for Harry to hit it. It took him a second, but once it was done he was out of the house. The door creaking shut behind him. 

Eren let his head drop. Closing his eyes, and sighing. Feeling his eyes pearl with tears. Looking up at one of the pictures of you. 

Eren pulled up his phone. Trying to distract himself with YouTube, or some weird video from Instagram that his friend tagged him in. He practically groaned looking through his feed. They were decorated in videos of Jean taunting him. Showing how you needed to get involved. How you, a tiny girl, needed to step into an altercation between two men well over six feet. 

Eren could feel his cheeks burn in embarrassment. Yeah, you definitely didn’t like him now. Eren turned off his phone, placing it face down on the couch. He wished he could just… talk to you. Like a normal person. Like when you two spoke in the beginning of freshman year of college. When Eren wasn’t so– so.. Bleh! 

Actually, he’s pretty sure that was the year Jean’s taunting began. No wait, it was freshman year of high school. How could he forget the years of torment? Freshman year of college is when things got worse.  

Believe it or not, the three of you went to the same high school. But, you were always reading in the library. While Eren was pressed against a locker, getting taunted by Flash and Jean. The two of you lived in different worlds, so Eren had to admire you from afar. 

Which he did enjoy! In fact, you looked unrecognizable from what you did back in high school. Maybe, that’s why Eren didn’t recognize you right away. But, after hearing your voice and kind words, he immediately knew it was you. 

However, Eren misses that version of you. Purely, because it was easier for him to talk to you. Was it selfish? Maybe. But, it was true. 

It started when he was taking a small tour. Walking on this huge, and new campus. 

Thick framed glasses, and a black face mask over his face. A gray hoodie, and black sweatpants covering his body. His hoodie over his head as he looked around. His camera in hand and snapping photos of buildings, scenery, people, and small animals. The natural essence of the school. 

From afar Eren looked kinda’ scary. He assumed that’s why students did their best to keep their eyes to the floor when they passed him. Some even crossed the street to avoid him. He didn’t mind though, Eren was busy doing own thing. 

Eren was adding photos for the school’s freshman collage. Something that people would look at and admire for a few seconds, then return back to their day. Maybe even stare a little longer. Wondering if they were in the background of any photo. Only to walk away when they weren’t. 

Eren didn’t care. He just liked taking photos as a hobby. It was his passion after all. 

Then, he saw you. A girl he had adored since the fourth grade from afar. Someone who kissed his bandaid covered scrap. Someone who drew him flowers when he was down. You were like an angel from above. But, this was how you treated everyone. 

You were walking alone, phone in hand and pressed against your ear as you spoke to someone. Wearing the most fashionable clothing on the market, walking in heels he didn’t even know were possible to shimmy in. Yet, there you were. Strutting like a model. 

A skirt which would become your thing as time went on. A plain white T-shirt, and plain zip-up jacket. Some simple silver jewelry and black gloves. Another article of clothing that seemed to be your thing. You were about to walk past him, before you flashed him a soft smile. Stopping and pointing at his camera, titling your head in curiosity. 

Eren blinked at you, confused. 

One, Eren literally looked like he stole things for a living as of right now. Two, why were you pointing at him?

You noticed, and quickly said, “Let me call you back, Honey.” Ending the call, and putting your phone in your purse, smiling at him. “Your thingy,” you said, pointing at his camera. “Are you one of those people who take cool snapshots?” You innocently asked, pressing a few strands of hair behind your ear. Tilting your head at him. 

Eren let out a small laugh, trying to recall the last time he spoke to you. High school graduation, maybe?.. “My camera.” He said, pointing at it. “And no, I’m not a photographer.” Eren gripped his camera a little tighter. “It’s just a hobby.” He added.

“That���s so cute!” You smiled at him, “Can I see some of your photos?” You asked, hands coming up to pretend you were holding a camera. Taking a few pictures of your own, as you took a step closer, looking back at his hands. 

He didn’t say anything, just stared at you. Confused on why such a –stupidly– cute girl was talking to him. Most importantly, why you, of all people, were talking to him. And, of all the things in the world, his pictures. His embarrassing hobby. 

It took you a moment, maybe a bit longer than it should’ve to realize how invasive your question was. “Wait!” You raised both your hands in the air. Expressing your distress, “That sounds really weird, I mean–“ you cleared your throat. A black gloved hand over your mouth as you did so. A small embarrassed laugh while you scratched your cheek. “When I was younger,” you started, “I always wanted to try and be the thing you said–“ 

“A photographer?” Eren asked, raising an eyebrow. “They’re called photographers, Love.” Where the hell did Eren get the confidence to say that?

You felt your heart flutter at the nickname, a feeling you haven’t felt in awhile. Before smiling and nodding your head. “Yeah, a photographer!” You sighed, rolling your eyes. “I always forget what they’re called…” You whispered that last part. “It’s like a dead dream at this point, but I’m still awed by the profession.” You had an awkward smile. Your index fingers fiddling together. 

You placed both of your hands behind your back. Your head tilted up to look directly at Eren. “And, it’s such a beautiful day.. It would be horrible not to take some pictures of the scenery.” You pointed at his camera. 

Eren nodded, “So, you want me to show you my photos?” He looked around, then back at you. “And, take some pictures with you?” 

You had wide eyes, a beaming smile as you nodded. “Yes, exactly.” You clasped your hands behind your back.  

Oh my god, this is literally the cutest girl ever. Was his first thought. The second was, Oh my god. There literally isn’t a single thought behind those adorable eyes. 

Eren looked to the side, his hand coming to the back of his neck. Thinking about it. I haven’t taken any bad photos, I think. Eren nodded, still unsure before answering. “Uhm, sure?” He took the strap off his neck, lowering the camera to your eyesight. Clicking on his collection and recents folder. You got closer to him, pressing your shoulder to his arm. 

Eren could smell you. Vanilla, and something sweet— almost fruity. He forced a smile, trying to hide the slow blush on his ears. He flipped the screen to your face, “These are some I took today.” 

Your eyes were fixated on the images in front of you. Wide and astonished by the images he was showing. You looked at him, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Woah! You did this?!” 

I mean, it is my camera. Despite that thought circling his head. It sounded like you were in disbelief. Smiling as you looked back at Eren with an adoring smile on your face. 

“You’re so talented.” You quietly whispered.

Eren could feel the tension in his face relax. His lips parting ever so slightly, his heavy heart lifting with admiration. It felt like someone somehow threw him in his elementary body, making him relive his first interaction with you. His cheeks burning with embarrassment as you softly kissed his palm. Explaining that; It heals faster with love!

This was you. Y/n standing directly in front of him. He almost didn’t recognize you. 

Eren shook his head, and straightened his posture again. He had a kind smile, nodding at you. “T-Thanks.” He could feel his mouth slowly turning into mush. Unable to speak properly with every word. 

You felt your body freeze for a moment, staring at the kind giant in front of you. Your hands holding onto each other behind your back as you smiled at him, nodding your head. 

Suddenly, it felt like Eren watching you– change?.. Only for a second.

“Don’t thank me for telling the truth.” You softly said, turning your face away. You reached your hand out, still turned away from him. “I’m Y/n.” You softly said, “L/n.” You added. 

I know that, Eren thought. “Well, I’m–“ 

Your phone rang, causing him to stop talking. You gave him an embarrassed, and apologetic look. Grabbing it, and looking at the username. You bit your bottom lip, shoving it back in your bag and ignoring it. “My bad,” you softly said, but you quickly cleared your throat. Pointing at his camera, “Uhm, if you don’t mind.” You slowly said, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Could you take some fancy photos of me.” You looked to the side, then back to him. 

Eren hesitated, blinking at you. 

You flinched, “It’s totally fine if you don’t want to! I mean, I just thought it could be fun or–“

“Yeah,” Eren quickly said, his camera close to his face, and clicking through the storage. “I have more than enough room, and time to kill.” He looked back up, smiling at you. “It seems like a fun way to burn time.” 

You smiled, nodding your head. “Yay! I get to–” you slowly trailed off, not knowing the word. 

Eren laughed, “Model, you get to model, Love.”

You giggled, nodding your head. Walking closer to him and asking, “Alright, now.” You said, leaning to the side and looking around. Trying to find a place for pictures. 

“How about there?” Eren said, pointing to an open field. A beautiful flower tree in the middle. “It’s shady, and a pretty location.” He slowly walked towards it, checking behind him to see if you were following. 

You were nodding your head in approval. Trying to speed up due to how fast he walked. Probably because of how tall he was. “Hey, what are you studying?” You asked, standing in front of the tree, and looking up. Seeing the pretty flowers on display. 

Eren brought his camera to his face, trying to fix the lenses. Clicking a few buttons with his thumb. “I’m majoring in Biophysics.” He said, smiling once he got the lenses where he wanted. 

You leaned on the tree looking at him. “What’s that about?” You held your purse between your legs, swinging it back and forth slightly. 

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, trying to think of a way to explain it. “It’s science, and physics.” He said, raising the camera up, and pointing it at you. Adjusting the way he was standing to try and get a better angle, “Uhm, could you try to pose?” 

You nodded, leaned back into the tree and placing your hand into your hair. Grabbing a strand, and looking to the side, trying to pose. 

Eren suppressed a laugh, clicking the button and capturing a few photos. 

“So, what is physics?” You innocently asked. 

Eren lowered his camera for a second, his eyebrows together. “Wait? You attend this school, right?” 

You blinked, lowering your hand and nodding your head. Slightly confused, “Uh, yeah?..” 

Eren slowly nodded his head, “Don’t you need like a 3.7 gpa to attend?” 

You blinked at him, shrugging. Muttering out a small, “Maybe? I don’t know?” You removed your jacket, placing it on the floor and sitting on it. “My Dad helped me get into this school.” You reached for the hair-tie in your hair and removed it. Letting your hair fall around your head, perfectly framing your face. 

Eren paused, feeling his face heat up. His heart beating, you definitely didn’t look like that before. He couldn’t even recall if you wore fitted shirts in high school. He blinked a few times, raising the camera to his face and saying, “You’re pretty.” 

You blinked at him. Feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. Opening your mouth to speak, but finding your throat dry. You just forced a sentence out, “Uhm, you too.” You thoughtlessly said. You could feel your mind mentally slap yourself. You too? You wanted to jump off a building from your stupid mouth.

Eren blushed, hiding his face. Nodding his head and whispering, “Thanks.” Trying his best to ignore the feeling building in his chest. 

You just nodded, looking away. Making it look like it was part of your pose. You continued from where you left off. “My Dad has a few connections to the school, so I didn’t need to do much to get in.” You posed your legs, placing your hands on them, and leaned forward. Taking a moment to look at Eren. 

Once you did you smiled at him. Trying to get a good photo. 

Eren nodded again, snapping the photos and then lowering his camera. Then, checking the two different images. Trying to see which one was better. 

You stood up from the ground, wiping the dirt from your legs and ass, before standing close to him. You didn’t notice how good he smelled. You leaned on his arm, your chest pressed against him, as you looked at the photos. Trying to see which of the two poses you liked best. You sighed, pouting and looking up at him. “I don’t really like them.” 

Eren flinched, surprised by your bluntness. “I’m sorry, I probably should’ve–“ 

“No, no!” You quickly cut him off, “I just don’t like the way I look in them.” You softly said, “But, the actual photo is beautiful.” You grabbed his arm, leaning closer to the camera. “The scenery, flowers, and lighting.” You smiled, “I just feel like I’m out of place.” 

“You’re not.” Eren said, suddenly losing his capability to speak. “I think you fit perfectly. In fact, I think you look so perfect, the world looks out of place when you smile.” He was looking at you now, his face red. 

You looked up at him, eyes wide. Looking to the side then to his green eyes. “I think you’d fit…” you found the words stuck in your throat, so you switched them with something else. “..really well, too.” 

You don’t know what was more embarrassing. The nonsense you just said. Or, the way you didn’t know what to say. Actually, it was both. “You should let me take some pictures!” You said, way louder than you intended. You suppress a face, trying not to obviously cringe. “Of you.” You added. 

You couldn’t even see what he looked like with his mask, and from his silence it couldn’t be good. Right? Goodness, why would I say that? You thought. 

Eren had the same thought but in a different font. It was something more like, I look like shit, but I appreciate the thought. 

You pressed your lips together. Feeling your face heat up as he just looked at you. Suddenly, you felt really embarrassed. Shutting your eyes, and trying to keep calm. 

“Uhm, sure.” Eren looked at the camera. 

You were surprised he said yes. You perked, a huge smile on your face as you jumped. “Oh my gosh! Really? I was just messin’ around, but!..” You stopped talking, just letting out an excited noise. Making Eren smile with you. 

His heart melted at the way you eagerly explained what type of pose you wanted him to do. Eren just nodded, removing the camera strap from his next and placing it in your small hands. Trying to follow what you just told him. Eren’s heart was beating as quickly as possible as he did so. Butterflies swarming his stomach. 

Eren awkwardly leaned on the tree, while you placed the camera strap around your neck. Holding it as you tried figuring out how to use it. Eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, just observing the delicate item. Trying not to touch anything in fear of breaking it. 

You just ended up pointing it at him, and gesturing at the button on top. Looking at Eren and asking, “This is the button I press, right?” 

Eren smiled, nodding his head. Letting his right leg go in front of the left, and putting his hand on his lower hip. Letting it dip under the hoodie he was wearing. His head tilted to the side, and slightly pointed down. Looking at you through his glasses. 

You blinked a few times, feeling your face heat up as you pointed the camera at him. Wanting to give him a small warning before you took the photo. So, you said, “Smile.” And snapped one singular photo. You paused for a moment, letting your words sleep into your head. Smile?… He’s wearing a mask, Y/n. You thought to yourself. 

Eren snorted, trying not to laugh as he looked away. Unfortunately, he was failing miserably. Making your face worsen. It felt like it was on fire. 

You pouted, lowering the camera and pointing at his face. “Actually take off you face thingy–“ 

“Mask.” He said through laughs, making you playfully giggle. 

“Take off your mask, so I can actually take a picture of you.” You paused for a second, “Actually, take your hoodie off too!” You said, pointing a finger at him. “We’re modeling, you can’t model with things covering your face.” 

Eren shook his head, letting out a small, “Fine,” and lowering his mask. Removing his hoodie to reveal his long, and slightly messy hair to you. 

You could feel yourself blink, captivated by the man in front of you. Who happened to be very attractive. Strong jaw, stunning emerald eyes, and long shiny hair. Strong shoulders and a kind face, one that made you melt in your spot. 

He was so pretty. 

“I love your hair.” You mindlessly muttered. You could feel your hand twitch at your side, wanting to caress his face. Maybe, move a strand in front of his eyes. 

Eren gave you a goofy yet faltered smile, saying a small, “Thanks?” You watched as he pushed a strand of hair. Only for it to fall back into place. 

You giggled, dropping the camera to let it hang from your neck and getting close to him. “Wait! No, I have an idea.” You raised your hand, motioning to yourself. Silently telling him to get closer. He did, standing in front of you. You pouted, doing the same motion from before, and making him lean down to your height. 

You smiled, leaning forward and grabbing all his hair. Bringing it to the back of his head, and trying to fix it up for him. Biting your lip in concentration as you used your left hand to grab the pink hair tie around your wrist and tying his hair up. The specific pink hair tie you were just previously using. 

You, while doing this, didn’t know what you were putting Eren through. While you oh so kindly were putting his hair up, you were also forcing his face directly in the beautiful sight of your boobs. Practically smothering him. 

His whole face was red when you were done. Pulling back and grabbing a few of his baby hairs to frame his face. Smiling once you finished. Still oblivious to what just happened. You raised your two hands, making your index and thumb form a box. Closing one of your eyes, and raising it to him. Making the border come around his face.  

“Okay, perfect!” You exclaimed, walking backwards and smiling. Bringing the camera to your face and pointing it at Eren. “Pose, Love!” You shouted, waiting for him to follow the command. 

Eren blinked a few times, hoping he still wasn’t blushing and going back to the tree. Posing like before. He found himself even more embarrassed than before. In fact, it felt like he was posing even more awkwardly, than before. 

You smiled, snapping a few photos and giggling. Saying softly, “You should be a model,” as you lowered the camera. “Okay, different pose!” You pointed at him dramatically, “Go!” 

Eren felt his eyebrows mush together, any thoughts in his head blanking. As he clumsily moved his hands in front of his body. Trying to make a pose with that. 

You giggled at his graceless movements, but waited for him to settle on something he was comfortable with. He looked up, trying to gain your approval for the pose he was doing. You nodded your head, giving him a thumbs up as you crinkled your nose cutely. Bring the camera to your face and adjust the way you stood, before your gloved finger clicked on the button. The camera shuttered as it captured the image in front of it. “Now…” You said thoughtfully, “Fake– like?.. A laugh! Fake a laugh.” 

Eren’s eyebrows came together quickly, before he chuckled. Trying to fake a laugh. You shook your head disapprovingly, “No, like– laugh, laugh.” You forced a big smile, then obviously faked a laugh. 

Eren scoffed playfully, obviously faking a laugh like you did. 

You quickly raised the camera up and captured the sight. You couldn’t help but grow warm at the smile that spread across his face. You nodded, lowering the device and bringing it to your eyes. Trying to glance at the photos. 

Eren walked up to you, trying to see the photos. He just decided he’d glance at them once you handed him the camera. It’d be too much of a hassle to crane his neck to look at them. 

You raised your gloved hand, trying to block the sun from the screen so it wouldn’t produce such a glare. You laughed, “Oh my gosh! You look so cute!” You looked at him, jumping up slightly. Hands clapping together. 

Eren forced a smile back, feeling his ears heat up again. He didn’t like how often he was starting to blush. “Thanks.” He voiced, lifting his hand to the back of his neck. 

You looked at him, feeling your face heat up. Seeing the way his ear and face was dusted in a light pink. You just simply nodded. Playing with the cotton of your gloves. “Yeah, whatever.” You whispered. You bit your bottom lip. Wanting to suppress the words bubbling in your throat. “Uhm,” you sheepishly said, pulling both of your gloved hands behind your back. Clasping them together in an act to comfort yourself.Trying to hide the way they were shaking. “I– Would you want to go on a–“

“Y/n!” You flinched at your name. Caught off guard by the loud noise, before turning and seeing Jean not too far away from you. You immediately pulled your hands in front of you, waving in the most obnoxious way and shouting “Hi, Jean!” In a happy light voice.

Eren noticed how immediately you changed back to the person that first approached him. You probably just got embarrassed. It happens to the best of us. And, it was kind of cute. You could be the most intelligent person in the world, and still freak out about a cute girl. He would know.

Wait, does that mean you found him.. cute?..

You looked back at the Eren, conflicted for a moment. “Let me get your number, so we can ta–“

You were cut off by an arm wrapped around your neck. “Y/n, we’ve been looking for you.” 

You turned to Jean, blinking at him innocently. “But, I was gone for like a second.” You playfully mumbled, poking Jean’s cheek. 

Jean’s eyes went to Eren, tilting his head at him. Looking at you and asking with a kind smile, “Who’s this?” Eren didn’t miss how Jean’s energy practically matched yours. Up-beat and inviting. 

Where the hell was the guy who tormented him back in high school. And, how the hell did an Angel like you, know a devil like Jean?

You looked back at Eren, your skin heating up slightly. “Uhm,” You pressed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Just some boy I was talking to...” Jean didn’t miss the way your hands fiddled together when you said that. 

Jean’s eyebrows raised, looking at him again. Biting the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t recall the last time you’ve spoken to someone, and not introduced them to him. 

What was so special about this guy?

Jean hid his scowl, finding himself growing… jealous. Why were you getting so flustered over this piece of shit? You never reacted like this around him. What was so special about the gross nerd in front of you two? 

“Y/n, pretty sure Sasha was calling you.” He said, smiling at you kindly. “You should probably go tell her you’re okay, she’s by the fountain.” That was a lie, he had no fucking clue where Sahsa was. 

You parted your lips, looking to the side and thinking. You didn’t hear your phone ringing. You ended up just nodding your head. You turned back to the tall boy, “Here.” You softly said, removing the camera from your neck, and handing it back to him. Smiling and wrinkling your nose for a second. “C’ya!” You turned on your heel, and waved goodbye. 

Quickly telling Jean you were going to look for Sasha, before walking to the fountain. A place you couldn’t seem to remember for the life of you. Did this school even have a fountain? You grabbed your phone checking your notifications, seeing that you didn’t have any missed calls. You let out a small, “Hm.” While continuing your way to the fountain. You mind still on the boy who took your picture. 

You could feel yourself pout. I didn’t get his name. 

Jean glanced over his shoulder, watching as you walked away. Almost bumping into a trash can. Bless your heart. But god, you were something else.

Eren continued looking at you, a smile on his face. Maybe, he liked you a little more than he liked to admit. With how kind, and almost airheaded you were. He strangely found it cute. Your name echoed through his head. 

Y/n. 

It felt like he was back in elementary. 

Eren was sure everyone would know your name before the semester ended. You just had that aura. That magnetic pull that people liked. 

Jean‘s eyes darkened as he looked at Eren. “What’s your name?” 

Eren’s eyes went to Jean, “Don’t pull that shit on me, you know my name. Eren Yeager.” He said. Putting the camera strap around his neck, and bringing the screen to his face. Trying to look at the photos you took. A part of him was excited to see them. Even if they didn’t look the best. 

Jean watched, scowling slightly. He thought back to you. Seeing the way you placed both hands behind your back, looking up at Eren and smiling sweetly. You didn’t do that with him. So, he just forced the words out. “She likes you,” Jean’s eyes landed on Eren. Searching for a reaction, “It’s obvious.” 

Eren thickly swallowed, shaking his head. Finding his heart speeding up at the idea of you being interested in him. “I– I really doubt it.” 

Jean laughed, shaking his head. “God, you’re almost as bad as her. She does, believe me.” He sighed, putting a hand behind his neck, “Which sucks when she’s my girlfriend.” 

Eren grimaced, even if he hated Jean. He wasn’t a home wrecker. Eren took a step back and immediately spouting, “Sorry, I’ll make sure to–“

Jean scoffed, licking his teeth and harshly stating, “Don’t make sure to. You will.” Jean said, taking a step in his direction. “Or, I’ll make your pathetic lonely life, hell.” 

Eren flinched, caught off guard by the male hostility. Seeing that his whole personality changed while you were gone. 

Jean gave a charming smile, turning on his heel and walking to the fountain. He slowed down, leaning his head back and peering over his shoulder, dimples taunting Eren. As he gave a taunting wave, “C’ya.”

Eren blinked in shock. Watching the dirty blonde male walk after you. Placing a hand on your lower back and laughing at something you said. Passing a hostile glance in Eren’s direction before looking back at you. Disappearing behind a building. 

Eren sighed, looking back at his camera and pressing his lips together. Feeling his eyes close for a moment. A heaviness in his chest. He pressed a button on his camera, glancing at the pictures you took. Walking to a bench and sitting down on it. His left hand going up and blocking the sun from the screen like you once did. Trying to glance at the new collection of photos. 

Eren scoffed at the bad pictures. Some of the images weren’t even focused on him, or were just awkwardly blurry. They were so bad. Eren laughed, looking at the sky and shaking his head. 

So, why was he smiling? Why was Eren still flipping through the camera's photos? Smiling fondly while his face was beat red. Feeling butterflies erupt in his stomach as he looked through the photos of you. 

He felt his finger pause on a photo of him. 

When he was fake laughing. When you told him to fake laugh. Now, this was a good photo. The camera was focused on him, the background slightly blurred. A hand over his mouth as he laughed, the corner of his eyes crinkled. His ears and nose were tinted in red. His cheeks are a similar color, displaying his blush quite proudly. 

He actually– really liked the photo. 

He smiled, shutting the flap on his camera. 

Actually, Eren had really, really, liked you. 

A girl he knew since 4th grade. 

A girl he never even thought he could talk to. Until now.

Eren glanced at the ceiling, the sky of the sunny day turning into his apartment’s shelf. A shiny necklace hanging off the edge. Actually, it was just a cheap beaded one. He laughed briefly, closing his eyes and sighing. Trying to relax.

Eren felt something… odd?.. 

Like, his brain was tingling? Maybe, vibrating softly? It was uncomfortable, really uncomfortable. Jesus Christ what the hell was happening? It felt like he had his eyes open, like he was aware of everything in the room. He felt his hand raise, stopping right in front of his face and catching something. 

Eren slowly opened his eyes, peering at his fisted hand. Seeing he caught an award in his hand. The award was on the edge of the shelf. Wrapped around the shiny beaded necklace. “I caught it?..” he muttered, “With my eyes closed.” He laughed briefly, placing the award on the couch. Looking at it, then back to the shelf above his couch. 

“Okay, this is fucking weird.” He whispered, standing up and turning to the couch. Running his hand through his hair. When suddenly, the sensation returned. Unfortunately, this time it wasn’t to the top of his head. It was the left.

His window. 

“Okay,” he softly said, “is the window going to fall or?..” he would’ve laughed at himself, but it felt like this was a serious situation. Eren really didn’t know if his window was going to fall or something. 

He flinched when he heard a knock. On the window?.. Eren slowly walked towards it, pulling back the thin cheap curtain and looking outside. He could feel his heart stop when he saw who it was. 

Tony fucking Stark. 

Eren clumsily pulled open the window, holding it up while he freaked out. His thoughts scrambled while his mouth went dry. Question upon question filling his head. “I– what are you?— Why are you here?!–“ was the only thing that came out. 

“Clam down, kid. Promise this will go by quickly.” Tony said, raising his hand and trying to calm him down. In his ion suit, flying in the middle of a run down apartment, speaking to a random college student. God, this was so weird. 

“What will..” Eren felt his head blank. Holy fuck, Tony Stark is at my apartment. “Go by quick?..” he slowly said, using his whole willpower to muster the words.

Stark tilted his head, and looked inside the small apartment. Pointing at it and saying nonchalantly, “Can I come in?” 

Eren just nodded, sliding his body to the side and holding up the window. Allowing the ironed man to enter his living room. Tony nodded his head and entered the room, placing his feet to the floor and clicking his chest. His iron suit reversing. 

Eren watched diligently, whispering– “Nanotechnology.” 

Tony turned his head, letting out a small, “Hm?” Before nodding his head, “Oh yeah, good eye kid.” He hovered his hand over his chest, “I wanted to upgrade, had some friends in Wakanda help me make it.” He looked around the room, looking at the photos. “But, uh..” 

When suddenly his eyes landed on a picture of you. 

“Oh, you know L/n?” He laughed, walking to the picture and holding it. “Interesting girl that one is, right?” He turned his head up, looking at the rest of the photos of you. Suddenly rethinking his words He knew kids took photos of things they liked, but this was excessive. “Or?.. should I be asking if she knows you?..” 

Tony felt his eyebrows furrow, maybe this isn’t a good idea..

“She knows me..” Eren slowly admitted, cheeks burning in embarrassment. “Just.. not as well as I know her.” 

Tony would’ve laughed, but found himself forcing a smile and nodding. “Uh-huh. Right.” He confirmed. “Anyways, I’m not here for your weird obsession with my right hand man. I’m here for you.” He reached into his pocket, grabbing something. 

Eren watched Tony’s hand reach into his pocket and pull out his glasses. His eyes widened, reaching out for the thick lenses. “My glasses..” he slowly said, taking them into his hands and looking at them. The lenses cracked. He cringed. That was going to be a major financial drain. Which he really didn’t have the money for. 

Eren nodded and raised them to his eyes, seeing as his vision worsened under them. He squinted his eyes, surprised. Before removing them and looking around. Seeing as his vision was… perfect without them. 

Wait, when did that happen? He was literally struggling to open his door not too long ago…

“But, I’m guessing you don’t need them anymore.” Tony tilted his head, and raised his eyebrows. “Right?” 

Eren slowly nodded his head. “Right.” He slowly confirmed, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Utterly confused by why Tony Stark was in his living room. And how the hell his vision was somehow perfect. 

Tony didn’t let Eren comment further, just sat down on his couch. “So, they’re yours?” Eren nodded, confirming. “Good.” Tony then glared at him, “So, you want to tell me why they were in a restricted area?” He tilted his head, “Hm?” 

Eren felt his mouth go dry, his mind blanking. For like the millionth time today. Trying to desperately recall the events that took place at Stark Industries. “I– uhm.” Tony nodded, staring at Eren with his hand supporting his head. Not saying anything, and waiting for Eren to give his response. Eren closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and speaking. “I was hiding from someone.” He admitted.

Tony nodded his head, not saying anything so Eren would continue. A trick he learned from Levi not too long ago. Eren continued, “And someone that worked there was passing by, so I grabbed their..” He looked to the side sheepishly. “Then, I went inside.” 

“And, was that it? Or?..” 

“Some people were entering the room, and I went into what I thought was a closet or something, then I was met with racks of…” he shuttered. “..Spiders.” Eren raised his hand up, showing Tony the bit mark. “Then, I got bit by one and –you know– passed out.” He laughed, but it soon turned into a grimace. 

Jesus Christ he passed out on you.

Eren walked to the couch, taking a seat and sighing. “Then, my hands got stuck to the bedding and I had this weird.. awareness?” He raised his hand, gesturing to his head. “My head got all tingling like some weird–“ 

“Spider-sense.” Tony sighed, closing his eyes for a second. “It’s called Spider-sense.” He opened his eyes, looking back at Eren’s hand. “The spider that you got bitten by wasn't a regular one.”

Eren shuttered again. “Oh my god, don’t even remind me.” He closed his eyes, trying not to think of the small parasite running over his body. “I’m sorry, I just hate spiders. Can’t stand them.”

Tony stifled a laugh, finding the irony in his statement. The next Spider-man hates spiders. “Eren,” he started calmly, not wanting to freak him out. “That was a radioactive spider.” 

Eren’s eyes shot open. His heart pumping quickly, mind racing as he rushed his words out. Almost choking on them. “Am– Am I going to die?!”

Tony shook his head, suppressing his smile. He didn’t want to embarrass the kid. “No, you’re not going to die.” He reassured. But, he still wasn’t completely sure. He was hoping for the best of this situation, a hero. 

Eren laughed, slowly nodding his head. Trying to ease his tension. “No– no, you know what. Let's forget about it.” Eren waved his hand dismissively. “I’m– I’m sorry, but..” He smiled, “Why are you here?..” He said, trying to desperately change the subject.

Tony loudly laughed, “Oh yeah, forgot.” He smiled, extending his hands slightly. A blue projection emerged from his hand. Displaying a few words. “You got the job!” He smiled, “Yay.” 

Eren blinked. Eyes moving from the small projection and to Tony’s face. 

“What.” 

Tony raised his hand dismissively, removing the projection and shaking his head. “Jesus, kid. You got the job, you’re going to be the new intern.” Tony placed his hand on his hip. “I can’t remember the last time we actually had an intern, actually, I think it was with Bambi.“ He shook his head, waving his hand. “Anyways, you got the job. We’ll have you moved in by like..” his eyes drifted to the side, thinking. “By tomorrow, that works, right? Of course it does.” Tony pushed himself off the couch, rolling out his shoulder. He clicked his chest again, his suit gliding over his skin. It was fascinating to see. Eren wished he had one of his own. 

Eren shook his head, Tony’s finally processing. “I got the job.” He was saying it more to himself than anyone. He turned, placing his hands to his head. “I got the job!” He laughed, leaning on his wall. Smiling brightly as he looked at Tony. “I got the job!” He felt his smile loosen, his eyebrows mushing together. “Why did I get the job?” 

Tony laughed. His mask settling over his face, “Circumstance.” His voice changed due to his mask. Something that was found to be iconic by the public. He walked to the window, “I’ll have my man Happy contact you tomorrow.” 

Eren’s eyebrows came together. “Tomorrow? I have class– Why are you contacting me tomorrow?” 

Tony laughed, “We’re moving you.” He said in an obvious tone. “I can’t have my workers working in–“ He paused, his head moving around the room slightly. “Something not approved by me.” He opened the window, “See you at work kid.” He was about to fly away when he snapped his fingers. “Oh! Also..” he paused, thinking for a second, “You’re, superhuman now! You got powers.” He put a thumbs up and winked. 

And like that, he was gone. 

Eren blinked, “What.” 

『 END OF VOLUME ONE: ORIGINS.. 』: *✧･ﾟ:*✧

Chapter 2: Relieved Tension.

[marcelwrites]

Excerpt from a novel I’m working on

I woke up to the sound of rain and the feel of aching muscles. My shoulders and traps in particular are tight and warm. It’s the feeling of satisfaction. Through the dense fog of sleep I could see the figure of a woman and the old urge crept up in me again. The mortal want of fucking and flesh. My wife, Celeste, and I have grown despondent and distant and although the sight of her still drives me crazy with a bestial lust but I’ve punished the both of us by withholding sex. I don’t deserve it and she deserves it even less. Celeste’s thin body has a grace and beauty that aspiring dancer’s pine for but it’s not built to house life or provide a family. Childbirth would tear her to pieces and stretch her out should she survive it, like a sideshow freak in the 1800s. Put her on display for sticky fingered and grimy children to gawk at with mouths overstuffed with sweetened globs of cancer. My side piece, Gloria, is different and although she doesn’t understand the words that come out of my mouth, there’s this pervasive linguistic misunderstanding, her intuition and skills with body language are second-to-none. She would make a killing as a translator for the autistic and deaf, as she deftly navigates the turbulent waters between the body and brain. Glory to Gloria. I’ve put Celeste and Glory in the same room as one another and the urge to tell my wife about our affair lives at the tip of my tongue. I don’t know how I haven’t told her yet. I’m a good-for-nothing, cheating bastard. Beat the shit out of me, bloody me, send your useless brothers after me. Sometimes on these early mornings I can see hints of sunlight peaking through the blinds and I know that if I open them suddenly I will burn and turn to ash and bone like an ancient vampire. Maybe I should go back to sleep and leave the decision making for later.

Later on during the day the old urge was still there and I was sore with it. Some people want love, some want sex, and others want to lord themselves over their partners and be worshipped like a god. I think we’ve all felt the twinge of each. We want to preserve our love at the expense of our soul, we want sex that makes us feel whole, and we want to be worshipped like a false idol, our existence a profane reflection of the sin of paradise. Maybe the complexity of us is false and we’re just simple creatures that think and feel as though they’re secondary characteristics of our existence, a great mental barrier existing between the automatic and the rationalised. My phone vibrated in my pocket. Gloria. “What are you doing?” I know Gloria, she wants to be laid down in bed and held and then eaten like a ripe peach. What is a woman if not the living embodiment of Gods’ misdeeds? As a man I am the the Fallen Angel. “Nothing.” I replied. “Come over. Bed’s warm.” That was all the instruction I needed. Time to worship her hips and connect through bodily sacrifice, and sin until redemption is virtually impossible. Gloria knows about Celeste, they’re friends, but Gloria would never tell my wife about our affair. She loves it too much and doesn’t want to hurt her. In the confusion of adultery it feels wrong to be the closest thing to the moral compass. I think my wife will Snapchat this ugly, short fella and feel adoration, the very adoration I’ve denied her. Enjoy it while you can, in five years time, you’ll have lines that only an instagram filter and botox will cover up, while mine are considered dignified and beautiful. I didn’t create this terrible mess of sexism, I’m merely a product of it. Execute me and I bleed the same blood as you. Only more of it.

[lemonboyfest]

reminders

reminders for 2024:

You’re not dead yet. Get the fuck up. Drag your corpse kicking and screaming into tomorrow. One day you will stop surviving and start living

more studying, more walks, more reading, more skill-based hobbies, more experimenting w pretty fits and hairstyles, more gym, more exploring new things in general, more whole foods/healthy recipes, more financial literacy, more time management, more time off the phone, more being out the loop. nothing else matters

hrmm. well hold on now ive been filled with a sudden joy and whimsy for the world

Glowing kind of love

fuck beauty standards. someone looking at you with love in their eyes is the most beautiful thing in the world.

as a girl who is literally just a girl i am always yearning. always longing always missing always wearing my heart on my sleeve. always feeling like my heart is on the verge of exploding. the sight of the sun makes me cry. anyway

i hope that when i die there will be an apartment with everyone i’ve ever loved in it and we are together always

read a lot and read everything

film and art and music are what builds ur soul

be outside

love and romance will not come to you any quicker if you are focused on it constantly

possessions don't improve things

movement does improve things

university is <4 years of the rest of your life - make the most of it

find the pleasure in hard work

lose the pleasure in scrolling

creation is essential

joy, love & intelligence are the tenets of life

stagnation isn't inevitable. no person is in a fixed state. you can always change

i love listening to someone’s favorite song its like im mentally holding their hand

you just had an epiphany about your sexuality? just own it. you like this unpopular thing your friends don’t like? just own it. you’re trans? just own it. you’re doing something unconventional? just own it. you’re completely free to share your reasons, but you don’t have to justify why you made the decisions you made. if you disclose something and a friend makes a face, okay well that’s too bad bc that’s who you are. they’re free to leave if what makes you a person doesn’t sit right w them. you don’t need to explain the why and the how and the when as if you’re trying to outrun their disapproval. be confident enough in yourself that you don’t feel the need to owe anyone an explanation. you’re you and that’s that.

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy

i have the opposite of that “everyone is an npc” mentality people have embraced where i’m instead like. the person next to me in line has someone they can’t wait to go home to, the person picking up their mail has felt devastation before, everyone in this grocery store is doing their sunday shopping, maybe the person that just honked at me is having the worst day of their life, my neighbor has doctors appointments and favorite foods and a song they can’t stand to hear anymore… you are all fully realized complex people and that is overwhelming me on a spiritual level…

"omg you'll post 'i need him' on the most average men" "she's mid" most of us are average and it's good that we can find beauty and desire in average people .... on god FELT. i really need to start practicing this though. i get so complacent in my complacence i listen to my friends and i try so hard to fit in i insult people for no reason there is so much more to them than their aesthetics and if i do not find them attractive then what is to say someone else doesn't why do i feel the need to invalidate why am i rude ? people are all beautiful i need to remind myself . changing

[sukirichi]

illusion

— does one dare wake up from the illusion of love?

meal order: 🥞🍷 + 20, 58 (assassin! reader, oblivious! noritoshi) + 13 (thigh riding) + love at first sight + “wait, are you flirting with me?” + “have been since the beginning, thanks for finally noticing.” 

warnings: attempted murder, sexual content, character death, angst, dark themes of violence, unedited fic 

note: thank you for the request! it was really challenging to write this but i’m all up for trying new things!

word count: 4k+

“Don’t think I don’t know you’re slacking.”

You glared at the dark haired man before you who was greedily sucking on a cigarette, the cloudy puffs of smoke breathed into your face. “Shut up, Toji,” you pressed your lips before waving your hand to get rid of the smoke. He was so rude, but because he was stronger and a far more skilled than you were, you wouldn’t dare fight back or complain. He knew this too; a smug smirk painting his dark, handsome features. “I’m just struggling, is all.”

“You, struggling?” his head tipped back in laughter, “Weren’t you so arrogant that you’d do anything for money?”

“And I still will. There’s just a sudden change of circumstances.”

“Such as?” he raised a brow challengingly, huge arms crossed over his equally muscular chest. Leaning over your window like that with the lights dimmed low, Toji looked absolutely threatening. You had no qualms that he’d rip your head off if given the order and enough money to do so, so you had to be careful with your words lest you wanted to die – or worse; he becomes a victim of this merciless man.

You narrowed your eyes, fists bunching up to your ripped black jeans. “A change of mind.”

“It seems like you had a change of heart too,” he noted, and you cursed inwardly. Fuck, of course he’d notice. Before you could come on the defense, Toji pushed himself away from the window with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. “But whatever. Good luck, kid. I’ll just hope that you get to kill your target before the bosses kill you first.”

“I’m not going to die. It’s not like I changed or anything.”

“Yeah, not like you’re giggling just down the hall staring at your target’s picture,” he rolled his eyes, snorting to himself. “Because that’s totally normal for us assassins, right?”

“Oh, shut up, Toji. Don’t you have better things to do than annoy me?”

“I’m never missing the opportunity to mess with ya, kid,” you held back a groan when he messed up your hair, your precious untouchable hair. “Oh, and the boss called. He said if we still don’t have the head by tonight, I’m being sent in,” your heart dropped at his words, silence coating the room. Nothing but your frantic heartbeat pulsed at the tip of your tongue as your hands grew sweaty and slippery, but Toji’s next words had you looking up at him with wide eyes. “Go and get your precious lover before I come around, kid. I’m not going to be nice just for you.”

Was it a warning? A threat? A heads-up? Fuck, nothing mattered anymore – you had to finish your mission before it was too late.

The sound of Toji slamming the door behind you finally snapped you from your dazed state. Greeting you was the sight of your dark, lifeless room – empty and gray like how you were. Before you met him. But things were different now; in your mission of bringing death and shedding blood, you came across the person who gave you life and meaning to this…this bland and pathetic excuse of a life.

If you didn’t move sooner, it would be too late.

Teeth gritted, you were quick on your feet as you swiped up your handy blade, bandages wrapping around your fists for protection before you followed Toji out, only this time, the man was already gone.

You needed to move. Now.

Noritoshi stepped inside his room with a soft sigh, eyes closed and pretty, masculine hands loosening his inner shirt. Perhaps it was because his window was still kept shut and not a sound could be heard from his room that he let his guard down, and nothing but a slight hiss fell from his lips when you lunged at him, blade pressed against his neck.

He was unable to move with one of your arms keeping his arms pinned to his own body, the other holding the blade firmly to his delicate skin. A slight trickle of blood dripped down his porcelain skin when you edged it a little harder, the shaky inhale from Noritoshi causing your mind to fall into ruin. But not now – you wouldn’t give in right now. You had a mission to finish; one you had to complete successfully like you always did.

“What are you doing?” He asked calmly, voice soothing and still so gentle even as you breathed hard on his ear. There was no trace of anger or even malice – just the usual doting kindness Noritoshi always gave just for you. You hated it; hated every single about him. “How did you get in here?”

“I need to kill you.”

“You’re still going through with that?” his fingers caressed your thigh, eliciting a soft gasp from you when Noritoshi only leaned closer to your touch, tilting his head so he could peer into your blazing eyes. “I thought we were past this already.”

You laughed at his words before sneering, “This doesn’t change anything. I will kill you somehow, Noritoshi Kamo. And when I’ve got your head in the palm of my hands, I’ll be filthy rich.”

“Then why don’t you get it over with?” he stepped closer to the blade itself, almost pushing you to the edge with his movements. “Come here and see if you’re strong enough.”

You growled threateningly when more blood trailed down and stained his shirt. Instantly, you shoved your blade away from him until it switched to one of his tied side bangs, the hair falling onto the ground with a thump. “Testing me, huh? Are you doubting my skills, Kamo?”

“Not the least bit, no,” he shook his head, refusing to move from your suffocating hold. If anything, he made himself comfortable in your arms, a lopsided smile on his annoyingly handsome features.

You’ve heard rumors that your target was popular among his people and even had countless marriage proposals already; one you didn’t believe until you met the man himself, and as if reminding you of the difficulty of the situation, you just had to be one of those women who nearly fell at his feet. But could anyone blame you? Which sane person would be able to uphold their mission when Noritoshi Kamo leaned close like that, the tip of his nose brushing yours and the warmth of his breath kissing your lips?

“I’ve heard of you – you’ve got quite the reputation,” his dark eyes trailed over your lips that were fallen open, your breathing still hard and ragged. Noritoshi hummed to himself, his tongue darting out to moisten his pink flesh. “Which is why I can’t seem to comprehend why I’m still alive. Could it be there’s something else that you want more than money?”

“Perhaps I do,” you smirked, trying to ignore the way you felt like you were the one being held captive this time. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Choose the intelligent option, of course. I’ll negotiate with you.”

“And if what I want is unattainable?”

His response came as a reflex: “Nothing is unattainable with money.”

“Always the confident one, huh, Kamo?” you scoffed with a ‘tsk’ of your tongue, “One day, I’m going to break this noble leader act of yours. Soon, you’ll fall into this same trap of hell as I have, and maybe then we’ll both be a little crazy,” at your suggestion, Noritoshi only raised a brow, tilting his head to the side as he released a soft sight. You couldn’t read his face and it irked you to no end, a grin masking your irritation as you twirled the blade around your fingers. “What’s wrong, Kamo? Cat got your tongue?”

“Hmm. You really are beautiful, you know that?”

“Huh?” you stepped back as you fell aghast, your jaw dropping while Noritoshi only smiled. Fuck that smile – he had no business being this gorgeous, and you only sneered louder when his skin began to heal. “You out of your mind, Kamo? Are you forgetting who I am?”

“The pretty assassin who’s been out to get me for months now but still hasn’t killed me for whatever odd reason?” Your face burned at the way he nonchalantly said it, but Noritoshi didn’t give you time to recover as he stepped forwards, closer, his hands brushing up against the pads of your cheek. “No, I haven’t forgotten who you are. I could never forget you – not when you’ve been chasing me and we’ve been playing this game of chase for who knows how long.”

“Careful, Kamo. What would your precious elders say if they find out you’re fraternizing with the enemy?” you chuckled at the image of Noritoshi having his ear talked down by those annoying, traditional elders, but the smile fell off your face when Noritoshi continued to stare at you. “Wait, did you just call me pretty? Like, as in, pretty pretty?”

“Yes, and now you’re blushing like crazy,” he booped your nose, firing up the bubbling anger inside you. How dare he mock you like this! Your feet planted on the ground as you prepared to lunge at him when Noritoshi stilled, his strong arms wrapping around your wrist tight enough that even you froze at how strong he was. Had he been holding back on you this whole time? Could he have really easily fought back against you but chose not to for whatever messed up reason?

Before you could get your answer, Noritoshi’s eyes slid over to yours, this time wide with worry. The smile left his face. “You should leave. They’re coming.”

You blinked back up at him helplessly, your body almost turning limp. Seeing that you weren’t moving fast enough, Noritoshi frowned, wrapping your fingers tighter around your blade before pointing to his window where you’d broken in a while ago. “You need to go. Now.”

“C-Can I see you again tonight?” you found yourself asking, legs already perched on the windowsill. You knew it was pathetic, to have trembling pouty lips when you were seconds away from making a deadly fall and yet you were more worried about him. The thought of Toji coming the moment he heard you still hadn’t killed Noritoshi made your hands and legs shake, heart clenching painfully with fear. Noritoshi may be strong, but he was nothing against Toji. “I want to see you again,” and again and again and again – for as long as you were allowed.

Though you’d never tell him that.

Not that you needed to, though, because Noritoshi could read you better than yourself, and he only smiled, never making fun of how vulnerable and horrible you were at keeping your feelings a secret. You were too easy to read sometimes, or maybe he just had a skill of knowing everything that ran in your mind.

“Would it stop you if I said no?”

“Of course not,” you frowned, then looked out the setting sun that held an ominous vibe to it now. Eyes closed and a sad heart begging to be closer to him, you buried it all deep within, turning to Noritoshi with an aching smile. “Live your life to the fullest, Kamo. This might just be your last day.”

Noritoshi chuckled softly to himself. “I’ll keep the windows open, then.”

It was way past midnight, and neither you nor Toji came around. He’d already heard that someone else was sent for him due to his precious little lover falling in love with him at first sight that caused her to fail her mission, and Noritoshi paced around his room, arms folded on his chest as he thought of the different ways they could’ve executed you already.

He hadn’t known you for a long enough time to know everything about you. It didn’t help that you weren’t the most open either, refusing to tell him more about your life and the people you worked for whenever he asked.

Noritoshi understood your discomfort when it came to sensitive topics like that.

It wasn’t easy, after all, to talk about the countless people whose lives you’d taken for money prior to meeting him. Noritoshi was well-aware he was another name on your hit list that could be crossed out had it been under different circumstances; circumstances such as him easily defeating you on the first day you met him before he had you pinned to the ground, both your bodies panting heavily.

One thing led to another, and Noritoshi grew an obsession with you.

It was fucked up, to say the least – that he actually looked forward to having you jump on him out of nowhere, bringing different weapons and techniques for various ways to kill him this time.

There was one time you both went out on a date, glasses covering your eyes and hats pulled over so no one would recognize any of you walking into the dark movie theatre. None of you could pay attention to the movie when you placed yourself in his lap, and suddenly he felt so thankful he bought the whole theatre for himself because he sure as hell couldn’t keep his voice down while you rode his dick like he was just a mere plaything.

Your hands then travelled around his neck as you pulled him in for a searing kiss. Second by second, his vision grew faint with his head dizzy, the air being knocked out of him as you crushed his windpipe with increasing pressure.

He wasn’t surprised that you would try to kill him while cumming around his cock – you were the most painful pleasure that could kill him, literally – and he had to push you off so hard your head hit the ground until you were knocked out.

Noritoshi had lost count of the times you tried to kill him, purely because you always tried to seduce him one way or another.

He believed it was one of your strategies into luring your prey right into your trap, which he fell for every single time. The rational part of himself (which wasn’t that much when it came to you to begin with) told him to increase his security, to always be prepared and have some sort of weapon or blood readied out to defend himself, but him being him, he always kept the window unlocked.

Noritoshi was reminded of his mistakes when his back was harshly kicked, his arm painfully bent and pressed to his lower back while your knee planted itself onto his spine, your sweet laughter bouncing from his ears. “Wasn’t expecting me, Kamo?” you teased, twisting his arm hard enough that he winced at the pain. “I thought you’d be ready.”

“I’m never ready for you, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Even in his slightly limped state, Noritoshi managed a smile. “Why? Does it make you want to kill me less?”

“Oh, you’re vermin, Kamo. My blood boils every time I see you!”

Perhaps you weren’t any better than him. You let your guard down too easily when it came to your emotions flaring up, and before you knew it, Noritoshi had pushed himself off the ground and flipped you under him, knee planted between your legs and your arms pinned to your side.

Your blade fell with a pathetic clang on the floor.

You struggled against his hold despite the comfort of having him above you like this, his gorgeous muscles displayed through his poor excuse of a shirt. Noritoshi only slammed your arms harder on the ground to keep you immobile, his words gentle and too sweet in comparison to his roughness.

He leaned closer, eyes filled with adoration and lust staring down at you. You thought he would kiss you when his lips suddenly turned the other way, his tongue prodding on the lobe of your ear that had you gasping underneath him.

The sound of your breathy whines had his blood shooting straight up onto his cock, pressing his now hardening erection against your heated core that he’d had the privilege of fucking and eating countless of times before – though he’d never get tired of it; he would never get tired of you.

“Then why do you keep coming back?”

“What else, idiot?”

Your irritated response had him pulling him back, his brows furrowed as he loosened his hold on you. Just like that, Noritoshi let go of you, his back hitting his bed frame as he frowned, pointing to himself in disbelief. “Wait, are you flirting me?”

That earned him a roll of your eyes in response. You pushed yourself up from the floor and glared at him, massaging the bruises that would form into your skin soon. “Have been since the beginning, thanks for finally noticing.”

“I thought getting me to bed was one of your ways to kill me,” he scratched his head, and he really shouldn’t be looking that cute. “I don’t know whether to be afraid or flattered—”

Noritoshi wouldn’t stop rambling on and on about how this whole time, he had no idea you liked him back and he’d endlessly chastised himself for falling for an assassin. Quite frankly, you had too much of his endless babbling that you pushed him until he fell on the bed, not wasting any time before you planted yourself on his lap and sitting on it like a throne.

“Shut up and kiss me, Kamo.”

When you grinded on his erection, Noritoshi lost it. He no longer had control of himself before he kissed you madly, his hands bunching your shirt up and helping you fling it to the side. Pupils blown wide as if he’d never seen you bare before, Noritoshi pushed the cups of your bra above your breasts, his lips latching onto a perky nipple while his other hand tweaked it between his fingers.

Your head fell back in pleasure as you let him ravage you, soft little gasps leaving your lips while you rode his thigh.

Noritoshi groaned into your breasts at the sight of you eagerly fucking yourself on his thigh, moaning louder when he clenched and you bounced you above his muscle.

“If I’d known you’d look this beautiful riding me like this,” his mouth left your lips before he settled onto your neck instead, nipping and tugging at the skin until he was sure he’d have you marked black and blue. “I would’ve opened my windows long ago,” he cupped your breasts, his cock twitching in his pants as you rubbed your clit all over his pants, mewling when one of his fingers rubbed at your clothed folds. “Do you think it’s fate?”

You laughed through the drunken state of pleasure, “You’re asking me if it’s fate that I’m sent to kill you but I’m fucking you here instead?”

“That’s one way to word it.”

“I don’t know, I don’t care,” your head fell on his shoulders as you clenched around nothing. Noritoshi took it upon himself to tug your panties to the side, his cock only hardening further because you wore a skirt for him tonight, almost as if you were expecting to be fucked senseless by his dick.

Well, if that was your wish, then who was he to deny you?

The feeling of you sliding down his length had you both moaning and groaning, the stretch of him feeling you up to the brim too magnificent to describe. Noritoshi pulled you closer until your tits were right at his face, free for him to kiss and worship. You whimpered when Noritoshi’s large hands cupped your ass to bring you upwards, your moan shattered and shaky as he let gravity drop you down his thick length, the pattern of you bouncing onto him sending heat all over your body.

“One thing’s for sure,” you managed through gritted teeth, “It’s definitely an unfortunate curse that I can’t kill you because I’m so in love with you.”

Noritoshi stopped with his movements, letting you rest at the base of his cock instead while you caught your breaths. Your eyes were closed, fingers clenching tight at the material of his shirt. Noritoshi didn’t need for you to tell him more to understand that you were risking a lot more than he was for falling with one another, because you’ve failed your mission, and a failed mission always guaranteed a most painful death.

“Hey,” Noritoshi tapped your cheek, “Hey, look at me,” he grabbed your chin to force you to look at him, and his gaze softened when tears shone into those pretty eyes of yours. You’ve never let him see you cry before, but you couldn’t help it, teeth sinking into your lip to stop the tears from flowing while Noritoshi’s strong arms wrapped around you comfortingly. “I’ll protect you, okay?”

“You say that as if I can’t look after myself.”

“I know you can. You did just nearly break my arm, so I’m not worried,” you both laughed, and he smiled wider upon seeing that you’ve livened up a little bit. That was all he wanted to see – to see you smile. “But I mean it. I’ll protect you – take care of you. You can abandon your old life and just live with me.”

“But I’m a regular, boring human. You’re about to be head of the Kamo Clan – what could I possibly offer?”

“Everything and nothing, but know that I’m not asking or expecting anything from you,” his thumbs were gentle as he cupped your cheek, “Just stay here. With me. We’ll work it out.”

You fell silent, unable to process the gravity of his words. The more you thought about it, the more it enticed you. No more killing, no more crying yourself to sleep or trying to hold back a scream as you washed the blood off your body, no more images of the people you’ve killed haunting you everywhere you went. Instead, you could live a happy life with Noritoshi. He was powerful and influential – he could easily give you a life.

But it wouldn’t be a life if you failed your mission.

You knew that much – no one escaped from the higher-ups and no one got out unless they were killed, either during their mission or by defecting. Not even Noritoshi could protect you from that, but he gazed up at you so hopefully, so lovingly that you wanted to bask in this glow and illusion of happiness a little longer.

So you smiled, rubbing your nose against his that had you both giggling like lovesick teens. “You’re so cheesy it’s disgusting, Kamo. I really regret not killing you now.”

“You wound me,” he placed a hand over his chest before pinching his cheeks, “But I suppose it’s only fair – you quite kill me with your cuteness too.”

“Ugh, shut up.”

For now, while you could still have him the way you wanted him, while he was still safe, you allowed yourself to drown in pleasure. Limbs tangled with one another and names breathily spoken while he marked you as his own, his seed painting your womb that you eventually lost count of.

This was love – the illusion of it, at least.

You stared at Noritoshi as he slept soundly beside you, his hair splattered everywhere. He was too exhausted to notice you slowly slipping off the bed, wiping the mixture of both your cum away with a towel before tugging your clothes back on. Glancing one last time at his still sleeping form, you lifted up a tile just under his study, pulling out the heavy and deadly weapons you’d planted long ago just in case.

Your heart dropped in your chest when the door suddenly opened. No creaking sound indicated that it did, but the slight gush of wind entering the room made the hairs on your arm prickle up.

On instinct, you wrapped a hand around your special gun and aimed it at the person smirking down at you. His eyes travelled from Noritoshi safely tucked under the blankets to your defensive pose just before him, the safety of the gun flipped open. This time, your hands no longer shook, and your eyes were hard and determined as you matched the dark look on his face.

“Step away, kid. You don’t want things to get messy.”

“I won’t let you hurt him, Toji,” Toji was surprised when you suddenly dropped your gun on the bed, palms raised beside your head in surrender. “I, Y/N, member of the Dark Shadows organization therefore surrender my title and submits to the punishment I must receive. As a last wish from a lifelong loyal member of your organization, I humbly ask that you respect my wish to keep Noritoshi Kamo safe from your missions. Forever.”

You could never live a happy life with Noritoshi, but there was still a way you could keep him safe; one that came with the price of your death.

The Dark Shadows was a shady organization with nameless and faceless leaders, the members like you and Toji blindly following orders from a “messenger.” You were born into this organization with a random name given to you as an assassin title. You always hated it, but you also didn’t know what life without being an assassin was like, so you followed them until the end. It just never occurred to you that you would use your last wish this way, for everyone always had a dying wish that the organization had to follow.

Toji’s eyes darkened; clearly, he believed you were doing a mistake. But the more you thought of Noritoshi’s smile, his laughter, his future – it was all worth it.

“I, Fushiguro Toji, a witness of your death, hereby respect your last wish.”

The sound of desperate crying – the first time you’ve cried ever since you were born – stirred Noritoshi awake from his slumber, but before he could catch your falling body, a gunshot had already fired in the air.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.

Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.

“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi

well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist

lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here

“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage

lol, fucking THANK YOU though

oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol

did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead

WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING

things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell

did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match

did she actually hit him or did he get away??

or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what

well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough

oh my god

does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse

oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea

IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever

OH MY GOD

DEKU, RUN

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this

but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you

(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)

-- holy shit

looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys

so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??

so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory

oh my god?!?

so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???

oh my GOD oh my god

“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol

holy hell the juxtaposition

I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already

oh snap

nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!

noooo Ladyyyyyyy

holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it

you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though

I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??

and hey, speaking of asking too many questions

holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not

(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)

OH MY GOD LADY YES

this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming

so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time

okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol

holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...

this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback

yes it is oh my gosh

so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol

but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully

anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what

oh, he spotted her, I guess

lmaooooo

new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece

oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes

you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what

uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now

is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card

???

I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol

ohhhhhh, lol

why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there

and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf

(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)

anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 5

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Content Warnings: Violence, open wound (minor), smut, oral (m and f receiving), thigh riding, fingering, unprotected sex, masturbation (m), virgin!Levi, virgin!reader, mutual virginity loss, tooth rotting fluff, gets a little angtsy towards the end.

Word Count: 13.2K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in The Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest... and your ex.

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

Series Masterlist

A/N: oh my god picking out those words and selecting them individually to bolden them cuz tumblr doesn’t know how to copy and paste correctly was TEDIOUS. it gives the effect i wanted but jfc tumblr learn how to copy and paste bold and italics jeez. this was definitely the most fun chapter, as you shall see. this was supposed to contain more than just smut but i got super carried away and it would have been like, 22K if i paired it with the next one, so the next chapter will take a little longer, but i’ll make a post about that separately after this one. hope you all enjoy!

18+ MINORS DNI

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

“Levi?! You fucking idiot, you could have died!” it was the last thing you’d expected to come back to after a few days away. After spending some time with the strange man who took you in three years ago, Viper, he called himself, you were excited to come back to the small house you had with your best, and possibly only, friend outside The Nest.

What you weren’t expecting was to find him, propped up against the small wooden table in the centre of the room, shirtless, slowly bleeding out through his shoulder. You didn’t know where the other two were, and in fact, that was your first question.

“Where the hell are Isobel and Farlan, and why the fuck haven’t they sorted you out?” you stormed across the room, setting your bag down on one of the kitchen chairs before assessing his injury.

“First of all… I didn’t die. Second of all… shit… they’re out buying ODM parts after Isa’s shitty landing the other day, and th-fuck-thirdly, this only happened today. They’d just left when I got back,” Levi grit his teeth as you gently prodded the wound. Shit this fucking hurt. It was a stab wound from a shitty bartender in a shitty part of town who decided he didn’t like Levi’s shitty attitude. Honestly, looking back…

He couldn’t blame him.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“You’re a fucking idiot,”

“You’ve said that already,”

“This isn’t funny, Levi,” you huffed, turning to rifle through the bag you’d haphazardly dumped on the chair. You’d never been so thankful for Viper’s weird yet wonderful survival lessons. Over the last three days, he’d taught you basic medical training. You had no idea how the fuck he knew how to apply a tourniquet or sew wounds, but you never questioned the man. He reminded you of your father in some ways.

Just a little more violent.

“Stay still, it needs to be cleaned,” you brought out a small bottle of whiskey, a gift from one of Viper’s associates. His “Shadows”, or something.

Levi narrowed his eyes as you began taking out various pieces of equipment, and couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the expensive looking bottle.

“Where the fuck did you get these things, (Y/N)?” he breathed, glancing between the medical supplies and your face. Levi hated how he didn’t know what you did. He didn’t know where you went for days, and it worried him when you didn’t return when you said you would. He was always worried about you. Instantly missing the warmth of your smile as soon as you left.

“That’s not important right now. I need you to hold still, this is going to hurt,” his face heated slightly as you searched him, that apologetic guilt in your expression made him want to hold you and tell you everything was okay.

But he wouldn’t.

Because you two were friends.

And had been for years.

Despite his budding feelings, he would never cross that line with you.

Unless you wanted to, of course…

“It’s fine. Do what you gotta do,” he responded flatly, choosing instead to find the wooden skirting board incredibly interesting to look at. Much more interesting than your face.

He couldn’t stop the pained hiss that escaped his mouth as the piercing sting of alcohol in a fresh wound clouded his mind for a moment, fist clenching as his eyes screwed shut.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” you muttered under your breath, hating every second of pain you were putting him through. But you had to clean the wound, and you had nothing else to use. You silently thanked the man called Wolf for the burning liquor, not expecting to use it in quite a way. Screwing the lid back on the amber bottle, you set it to one side, gently dabbing the torn flesh with a cotton bud.

“Levi, this is going to need stitches. Shit, what were you stabbed with, a fucking sword?” This was one of the things he loved most about you. No matter how dire or stressful the situation, you could always crack a joke, even whilst keeping a straight face.

“Kitchen knife. Pretty standard for the tavern–”

“THAT MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN?” yeah, this wasn’t the first time Levi had been met with problems from that place.

“Yeah, him. Got me good this time,” Levi almost laughed at your look of subdued rage. He knew how much you hated that owner. But that amusement was quelled when your rage was replaced with something he couldn’t quite decipher.

He let the silence drag on as you retrieved a small needle and thread, not even questioning where you learnt how to do this.

“Sorry, this will hurt again, but not as much,” you warned him, your tone having dropped several notches to something almost melancholic. Angling the needle next to the tender flesh, you waited for his nod until you continued, trying to concentrate throughout the whirling guilt.

He’d gotten himself hurt. Again.

And you weren’t there for him.

Again.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” you whispered, pulling the thread through the wound, slowly closing the gaping tear.

“‘S’fine, I didn’t even feel it,”

“N-no, not that. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. Again,” this was the thing he hated most about you. You had a habit of blaming yourself for things you couldn’t control. You always felt like you had to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you always felt like you had to do it alone. It always took Levi some time and a long, long conversation to convince you that you weren’t alone.

“(Y/N), stop,” you immediately pulled back, scared you may have hurt him.

“Sorry! I didn’t realise it was hurting, i’ll try–”

“No. Stop,” he took both your hands in his own, making you raise your eyes to him. “You know thinking like that is pointless because I always manage to get it through your thick skull that I am in fact, not your responsibility, okay? It’s my job to get stabbed, to get shot and have random glass bottles thrown at me. It’s what happens when you steal a bunch of shit and sell it on. So quit thinking like you have to look after me. It should be the other way around,”

“Why? Because you’re a man?” your small, mischievous grin told him he managed to get his message across.

“No, brat. Not because I’m a man,” he stopped that sentence there, for he feared if he’d continued, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from confessing how hard he’d fallen for you over the last eight years.

You took his continued silence as a sign that the conversation was over. He had slightly lessened the guilt constricting your heart as you returned to stitching up the gash. It would definitely leave a scar, since you weren’t exactly adept at using a needle and thread yet, but at least he wouldn't bleed out now.

Finishing the final stitch, you cut the thread with a small pocket knife, tossing the blade on the table whilst you reached for the small roll of bandages. You think Viper would be proud of your work.

“This is about as sterile as we’ll find down here,” you comment absentmindedly, stretching out the bandage and applying it over his shoulder and across chest to secure it. You tried to ignore the subtle blush dusting your cheeks as his hard muscle flexed beneath your touch. You tried to ignore the almost mouth watering sight of his shirtless body when you first entered the room. Fuck, you’d tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he took your hands. Tried to ignore how honest he looked.

You tried to ignore how much you’d fallen in love with him.

But Levi was nothing if not observant. He saw the gentle rose petals blooming across your face, smirking slightly to himself at your reaction. Maybe…

Just maybe…

You two could cross that line.

He found himself missing your presence so close to him when you pulled back to admire your work.

“There. All done. Don’t move it too much because if you pull those stitches, I will hold a knife to your throat and you will apologise,” Levi rolled his eyes at your empty threats, internally chuckling at how over dramatic you could be sometimes. “Oh, and rub this salve into it if it starts to hurt. It’s a herbal recipe, supposed to help numb pain,” you left the small tin tub on the table whilst you continued to repack your bag of the supplies Viper had gifted you.

Levi’s eyes followed your movements as you effortlessly reached for the second roll of untouched bandages on the table. It was such a simple movement, but the way your loose shirt untucked from your leather pants, showing just a teasing amount of skin, had him readjusting how he was sitting. Shit you were beautiful. Since you’d both been managing to gain somewhat of an income, you’d been able to afford more food. He marvelled in the way you’d filled out a bit, your own lithe frame rippling with muscle. Granted, you were still dangerously skinny, but that was to be expected down here.

Packing away the final set of stitches, you collapsed onto a chair, once again running a hand through your hair before cringing at the repeated action. You really needed to stop doing that, or your hair would go greasy.

Looking at the small fireplace kettle, you returned your gaze to Levi, who you noticed was still shirtless, and didn’t seem to have any interest in covering up anytime soon. You felt your face heat up for a second, before distracting yourself with something else.

“Tea? I feel like you could do with one,” you grinned playfully, already knowing he would say yes and rising from your seat.

Until you were forcefully shoved back down.

“I’ll get it. You’ve done more than enough,” Levi felt bad expecting you to make him tea as well, but you just didn’t know when to quit. Removing his hand from your shoulder, you stood up, now close enough to either kill him;

Or kiss him.

“Not happening. You almost bled out a few moments ago. I’m not letting you do anything, shortstuff,” you raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to challenge you. Which of course, he did. But not without smirking at the ironic nickname.

“I damaged my shoulder, brat. I’m not crippled. I can make tea for fuck sakes,” there was never really any malice when the two of you argued like this. It was a more playful back and forth.

It was only when the breath of your laugh reached his face did he realise how close you were and the two of you fell into a strangely comfortable silence, subconsciously admiring one another. Only, his view of your face was slightly obstructed.

Levi hesitantly brushed a strand of hair back behind your ear, his hand hovering by the side of your neck. You could see nothing but admiration in his steely, maelstrom hues. Admiration, and something else you were sure you were reciprocating in your own gaze.

It was only then it occured to you.

And you didn’t know how’d you’d been so stupid to miss it.

Levi loved you.

Just as much as you loved him.

“I was worried about you today,” Levi murmured, prying apart the silence as his hand now rested comfortably on the side of your neck. He hadn’t missed what he’d seen in your eyes. A glassy reflection of his own feelings.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come back late. I just got caught up in some things,” your whisper carried so much tension he was tempted to grab the knife from the table and attempt to slice the air.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he opted to rest his other hand on your waist, gently pulling you closer to his body.

“Will you ever tell me where you disappear off to?” The question held no weight. He knew that if you wanted to tell him, you would. He also knew that you needed your privacy sometimes, and this was just one of those things you didn’t talk about. He just hated how his mind would race when you didn’t come back.

Your heart was almost beating out of your chest, pulse quickening to something you didn’t think possible as the hand on your waist caused goosebumps to prickle your skin. You learnt into his touch as his palm came up to cup your face, thumb tracing the apple of your cheek.

“One day, maybe,” you replied, your hand mimicking his own as you reached up slightly to smooth over his eyebrow, he in return mirrored your response, leaning into your touch. You stayed like this for what felt like years, until he spoke up again with a question that let loose all the caged butterflies in your stomach.

“(Y/N)... can I kiss you?”

Your lips parted as you let out a breath, unable to contain your smile of pure adoration as you nodded a little shyly.

“Yes,” Levi wasted no time. As soon as you managed to form a response, his lips were on yours. You gasped slightly against his mouth, arms moving on their own to wrap around the back of his neck and hold him close.

The hand on your waist extended to embrace your lower back as your lips moulded against one another.

Fuck, he’d dreamt of this moment for so long. And it was so much better than he ever imagined. Levi elicited a breathy moan as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip, silently asking for permission to explore his mouth. Something he was all too eager to accept, eyes rolling as he felt your slick muscle brush against his.

Your hands travelled to thread through his hair as you subtly pushed him back to the chair he’d stood from. He seemed to get the hint, bringing you down with him as he sat, pulling you to straddle his lap.

You drew circles with your nails in his undercut, once again drawing another delightful, gravelly groan from his throat, lips still hungrily devouring his.

It was only until you felt his hardening manhood grind against your slickening folds did a thought occur to you, and you had no choice but to pull back.

“Shit, what about Isobel and Farlan?” it wasn’t a question he put much thought into answering, especially when you were scratching his undercut like that.

“Won’t be back for a few hours,” he mumbled, before reclaiming your mouth in an ever deepening kiss. You whimpered softly as he began to roam your body with his hands, grasping at your waist as you started to rock gently against his tented crotch, relishing the noises he made.

“Ah– (Y/N), sh-shit,” you peppered featherlight kisses along his jawline, stopping briefly to suck his earlobe into your mouth, his soft gasp only fueling your arousal.

His pants grew to whines as you moved down his neck, suckling and biting where you saw fit, leaving purple blemishes across his soft skin. His lengthy moan set your skin ablaze when you found his pulse point, licking a stripe up his neck before sucking on the sensitive spot.

By now, Levi was painfully hard. Wanting nothing more than to free his aching cock from it’s cloth prison. But you were the one in charge here, and he was more than happy to continue at your pace.

As long as you didn’t take too long.

He started thumbing the buttons on your shirt free, dragging it off your shoulders as you continued to leave marks along his collarbones. The clothing was quickly discarded, along with the bralet one of Viper’s escorts gifted you. Levi didn’t have time to admire your breasts within the delicate lace before it was thrown to the floor along with your shirt.

Pride swelled in Levi’s chest as you mewled against his skin, his hands gently kneading your now exposed mounds. He loved how your nipples instantly pebbled beneath his touch, rolling the sensitive nub between his thumb and forefinger, smirking at your hisses.

“Fuck, Levi– shit that feels good,” your praise only made him harder as you sat up, wanting to feel his mouth against yours again. But Levi had other plans.

As soon as you raised your head from the crook of his neck, Levi ducked down and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. You cried out, back arching into his touch, hips bucking involuntarily. Levi groaned against your breast, the vibrations only adding to the sensation.

Your hands once again found his hair, gently encouraging him to keep going, his own hand rolling your other bud.

Levi switched sides, showing your neglected mound the same kind of treatment, and you couldn’t stop the stream of breathy gasps and desperate whimpers as he showered your breasts in physical praise, making a mental note of every reaction you made to his touch.

Finally you grew impatient, wanting to show him as much love as he was showing you. Your hands withdrew from his hair and you almost laughed at his disappointed huff around your pebbled nipple.

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll like this more,” your voice wasn’t one you recognised. It was lower, breathier. You’d never heard yourself sound like this before.

But what almost broke your resolve was the sound of his voice, showing you just how much your actions had affected him.

“Oh? But I was rather enjoying myself. I think i’ll just continue doing– oh fuck,” Levi threw his head back, eyes screwed shut in pleasure as you palmed his length through his pants. Shit, your mouth watered at the feel of him. Harder than steel and girthy. You briefly wondered how he tasted, that particular spark fueling your next movements.

Slowly sliding from his lap, you left a wet trail of kisses down his chest, careful to avoid the wound in his shoulder. Your lips nipped at each of his abs individually before continuing down to the prominent V in his naval, tongue caressing the small dips directing you down to your goal, Levi encouraging you every step of the way with his sharp breaths and small groans.

Pushing apart his knees, you settled in between his thighs, grinning slyly as he looked down at you, wide eyed. His expression settled for a moment, hand coming to rest against the side of your face.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m more than happy with how far we’ve gone today. I don’t want to force you into doing anything with me if you’re not ready,” your heart almost fell to pieces at the sound of his concerned, yet still gravelly voice. Your coy smile softened to something so genuine and loving, Levi thought he had died.

“Trust me, I want to do this. I’ve wanted to do this for so long, Levi,” you gently caressed his thighs, reassuring him that what you were doing, and what you were about to do, was something you’d longed for.

Levi’s smile was nothing short of angelic. He gently stroked your hair, and despite the heat of the moment, he still managed to make you feel so loved.

“Alright, but if you want to stop at any point, please tell me. I don’t want to make you feel obligated to carry on just because of me, okay?” you nodded happily at his words, giving his leg a small squeeze.

“I promise. Now shut up and let me suck your dick,” Levi laughed breathlessly, tilting up your chin as he leant down to capture your lips in a swift, affectionate kiss.

“You’re filthy,”

“Your fault,” you grinned, subtly fiddling with his belt.

“How is any of this my-ah fuck,” Levi cut himself off as he felt your hand gently grind on his length over his pants, the friction causing him to elicit the most gorgeous whimpers. You could definitely get addicted to the sounds he made.

“Nngh– shit, shitshitshit (Y/N) I– a-ah,” Levi stopped trying to form words as you slowly pulled down the offending clothing, leaving him in just his shorts, cock tenting painfully. You helped him kick his pants from his legs, joining the pile of clothes you’d made as you kept palming his dick. Neither of you had done anything like this before, both being too busy to engage in any sexual activity, but you felt like you already knew what to do. Acting off instinct, you adored his little shiver as you finally freed his length, your own folds slickening at the sight of his leaking manhood.

“Shit Levi, you’re gorgeous,” the compliment slipped out before you could rein it in, Levi’s cheeks heating slightly as your words reached his ears.

“Th-thank you,”

Your eyes took immediate interest in a rather prominent vein pulsing along the underside of his cock, and once again you couldn’t help but wonder how he tasted.

Levi couldn’t think straight. He’d touched himself before, jerking himself off when his hormones deemed it necessary, but he’d never felt anything like this. And when you took a hold of his length, he felt as if every nerve in his body had set alight. His eyes screwed shut instinctively, unable to suppress the breathy moan of ecstasy.

You started to slowly stroke up and down tentatively, watching the different expressions he made. You never thought he could look so needy, and yet here he was, mouth hanging open, brows knitted, eyes closed, a gentle flush dusting his cheeks. You smiled slightly at his breathless pants, taking note of how his breath hitched when you circled his leaking tip with your thumb, smearing his precum across his over his pulsing cock.

His hips bucked unapologetically, back arching into your touch as you squeezed him experimentally.

“Fuck…! Fucking— HAH, a-aah, oh my god… (Y/N), what’re you— FUCK… fuck, ‘feels so— nngh, feelssogood,” Levi’s words slurred as his head lolled back, sweat starting to bead on his brow. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, switching between gripping the table next to him and hovering around your head.

You hadn’t even taken him in your mouth yet, and he was already reacting so well to your touch. You watched him physically relax as you let him go, giving him some time to recover before you’d take it further.

“'M’gonna take you in my mouth, okay? Tell me if it’s too much or if you want me to slow down,” you rested your head against his inner thigh, admiring his fucked out expression as he nodded, his bangs sticking to the slick of his forehead. You could stare at him like this for hours, committing every part of his face to memory. But the temptation to show him how good you could make him feel was far too great.

Leaning forward, you gripped around the length of his cock, delivering a few kitten licks to the tip, relishing in the responsive jolt of his sensitive body. Shit you were wet, it was taking all of your willpower not to reach down and pleasure yourself. You knew your matching underwear was likely ruined, quickly lamenting the loss of such an expensive gift, but that thought was quickly extinguished as you ran your tongue along that delicious looking vein you’d clocked earlier.

“SHIT, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, (Y/N)... shit, (Y/NNNNN),” just as you thought your own arousal couldn’t grow any further, he whined your name and you almost came there and then. Smirking against his dick, you leant forward just a little more, and engulfed his tip in your mouth, slowly taking more of him.

Levi’s hips bucked into your warmth, unable to stop himself as his brain was completely consumed by the sheer, mind-shattering pleasure. He’d decided this was nothing like getting himself off. This was something completely different. This was on a whole other level.

When you had taken as much as you could of his length in your mouth, you started to bob up and down, hollowing your cheeks as you pulled back to suck on his tip, before engulfing him again.

You could have sworn he almost screamed.

“Aaa-ah, you’re… you’re so– nngh, so good at this, HAH-aah, w-wait, fuck, s-slow down. ‘M gonna’– AH, ‘m gonna’ cum,” you did as he asked, taking your mouth of his raging length, gently caressing the base with your thumb as you waited for his laboured breaths to calm.

“Take your time, baby. Let me know when you’re ready,” even in his foggy, aroused state, he was still able to squint down at you with a brow raised at the new pet name. He couldn’t say he didn’t like it though, looking at your swollen, shining lips slick with your saliva and his pearly essence.

“Fuck (Y/N), you’re fucking stunning, look at you,” Levi tenderly held the side of your face, thumb smoothing over your eyebrow as he regarded you with such fondness. He hissed as you jerked his length in retaliation.

“Don’t be so cute, it’s not allowed whilst I’m sucking you off,”

“Technically you weren’t, you were waiting for me,”

“Oh is that how you want to do this?” you eyed him mischievously, and before Levi could even respond, you took his entire, swollen length down your throat, gagging a little at the intrusion before slowly getting used to him.

Whatever Levi was about to say died on his tongue as the tip of his cock brushed the back of your throat. He had no choice but to surrender to the pleasure threatening to shatter his mind, his mouth falling open as you swallowed around his sensitive tip.

“Shit…! Oh fuck, oh fuck, (Y/N)– nngh, haaah, ah, fuck, don’t stop. Don’t… don’t stop,” Levi panted, only just able to form cohesive words as you continue to take him down your tight, warm throat. He sandwiched his bottom lip between his teeth, biting almost hard enough to draw blood.

Tears started to line your lashes as you suppress your gag reflex, swirling your tongue along the underside of his length. Your eyes rolled back as his hands found your hair, not to push you onto him, but just so he didn’t completely lose himself in the pleasure.

The vibrations in the back of your throat as you moaned only heightened the sensation, and Levi wasn’t able to take much more.

“Hhhh, (Y-Y/N), m-move away, i’m -shit- i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna fucking cum!” but you didn’t move, instead opting to moan more wantanly, lapping at his cock and swallowing him down your throat, your hands coming up to rub and cup his rapidly tightening balls. His thighs began to shake as he came undone, back arching completely off the chair. His head was thrown back as you watched his Adam's apple bob through wet lashes.

“Ah, hnng– a-AH, FUCK (Y/NNN)!!” Levi came with a broken, desperate cry of your name on his lips, his salty seed shooting down your throat. His hands tightened in your hair, clinging on for dear life as you milked him through his orgasm, sucking him dry.

It wasn’t until he’d completely emptied himself into your mouth did he collapse back on the chair, breathing as if he’d just run a marathon.

You released him from your mouth with a pop, tenderly kissing his tip clean before rising to check the state of your partner.

“Levi?” you giggled, moving to carefully straddle his lap so you could take his face in your hands. He looked completely spent, head heavy as he lazily grasped your waist. “You alright?” you thought your question fell on deaf ears, until he cracked an eye open.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I think you broke me,” you laughed at his tired, satisfied smile, brushing his sweat slickened locks from his forehead to lean against him.

“Was that okay?” you asked, searching his face for an answer. The grin he gave sent butterflies to your stomach and heat to your already throbbing core.

“Are you serious? Yes, that was okay. That was more than okay. It was incredible,” he gently wiped away any salty tears from below your lash line. “You’re incredible,” Levi leant up to capture your lips in a tender, loving kiss. It didn’t quite have the same heat as earlier, it felt more fueled with adoring gratitude. You pulled back a fraction.

“Who knew you could be so vocal?” you teased with a lopsided smirk, earning yourself a small, playful nip on your lower lip followed by a low, breathy laugh rumbling from his chest.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up brat. Not like I won’t get you back,” you hadn’t noticed his hand had trailed down to the crease in your thighs until a bolt of pleasure shocked your system as he slowly pressed his thumb to your swollen clit. “Speaking of which…” –he whispered, dark eyes searching your own– “Would you mind if I repay the favour?” Levi didn’t give you time to respond before his head ducked down below your chin, licking a long, deliberate stripe up the column of your throat. He smiled against your skin as you began to rock your hips against his hand, moaning and gasping with each movement.

“Mmn, Levi,” you breathed his name like a secret, shivering as he decorated your neck and collarbones with red and purple blossoms, leaving his mark on you.

“I liked the sounds you made when I did this,” Levi’s hand left a trail of goosebumps as he travelled from your waist, up you naval to your breasts, the pads of his fingers rolling the pebbled buds. Your needy cry caused his fingers to grind harder on your clothed clit, increasing the speed as you threw your head back, the pleasure consuming you.

“Fuck…! Levi… ‘need more… ple-HAAH, please,” you whined, lamenting the loss of friction as he guided you to stand. Your confusion was short lived when he pulled you back down to straddle one of his thighs, hands gripping your waist and encouraging you to drag your hips against him in a steady rhythm. Levi snickered against your neck as you gripped his shoulders, grinding wantanly against his muscular leg.

“Feel good?” he asked, brushing your hair back behind your ears as you nodded eagerly, too busy whimpering to form words. He could feel your slick soak through the leather of your pants before making the executive decision that you were wearing far too many clothes for his liking.

Levi deftly unclasped the front of your belt, chuckling as you refused to stop chasing your high long enough for him to pull them down.

“(Y/N), you’re gonna need to move,” his husky voice sent shivers down your spine, heightening the blissful sensation of your knot rubbing against his thigh.

“Nngh– can’t… a-aah! Feels… feels too g-good,” you were so close. That coil in your lower stomach tightening and you knew any moment, with just the right movement, it would snap and you would release all over his thigh.

Or at least, it would have done, had his strong hands not stilled your hips.

“L-Levi?! What the fuck? I was right there,” you pouted as he gently lifted you from his lap, tugging down your pants.

You felt a flair of pride as his jaw dropped at your choice of underwear, the deep red, intricately laced material covering only the bare minimum, accentuating the curve of your hips and the lean muscle of your legs.

If only you’d kept the bralet on. You’d give anything to see his expression when you rocked the set together.

“Fuck…” he breathed, standing from the chair and reaching for you as you kicked the pants from your legs. You smirked, seeing his length hardening once again.

“Hmm, like what you see?” you stepped back like a sly vixen, motioning him to come closer with a provocative finger. You saw his dick twitch in response.

“I’m going to fucking devour you,” your breath hitched in your throat as he caged you against the wall with his arms, his mouth hovering by your ear, soft whisper tickling your neck before it was replaced with his tongue sucking against your pulse point. You arched into his touch, smiling as he tried unsuccessfully to repress the small groan when your hips ground against his cock, your own clothed sex throbbing at the touch.

You’d completely forgotten about his hands until they travelled round to cup your ass, squeezing and moulding the cheeks in his palms. Your gasp spurred him on, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his waist, both moaning as you came ever closer to each other.

Levi held you against the wall, still nipping and biting at the flesh on your neck, sucking sweet bruises into the skin. Hoisting you up with one forearm, he let the other skirt between you, the pads of his fingers finding a home against your damp folds.

“Shit you’re soaked. You’ve completely ruined these, (Y/N),” he teased, gently rubbing your clit not nearly enough for you to find your high, but enough to coerce the most delicious moans from your throat.

“Mmn, worth it,” you grinned, head tilted upwards as he attacked the hollow of your throat with his mouth. His laugh fluttered against your neck, your hands finding purchase in his inky locks.

“C’mere you,” Levi’s playful tone went straight to your heart as he held you against him, carrying you from the wall. His arms braced under your ass as you leaned down to capture his mouth, lips moving in sync against each other.

You hadn’t noticed he’d carried you into his room until you both fell amongst the bed covers, his body covering yours.

You lay there, panting, looking up into those eyes you’d come to adore. The smile so rare you sometimes didn’t think he even could. You certainly didn’t think it would be so beautiful. Your hand came up to cup his face, chest warming as he nuzzled into the touch.

“Hey,” he breathed, kissing the heel of your palm.

“Hey,” you replied with a soft laugh.

“Bye,” you looked at him, your expression puzzled at the response.

“Wha– FUCK!” your hips arched as his fingers once again dipped between your thighs, sandwiching and rubbing your clit between his thumb and forefinger, his head trailing kisses down your front, pausing briefly to pay attention to your breasts before continuing south.

His fingers hooked over your waistband and Levi looked up at you for permission as he settled between your thighs. You smiled at his continued show of chivalry, nodded in confirmation before the cool air caressed your swollen pussy.

Levi must have forgotten how to breathe. That must be why he felt so lightheaded. Why his heart was beating so hard. Why his mind was reeling.

“God, look at you (Y/N), you’re perfect,” if you weren’t so goddamn aroused, you might have shed a tear at the compliment. You’d never had anyone say anything like that to you before. You’d never had anyone call you stunning, or pretty, or perfect. He made you feel so special.

And so fucking good.

Smirking slightly to himself, Levi turned to your inner thigh, biting gently at the supple, soft muscle and relishing how you squirmed eagerly beneath his touch. He was teasing you, and you were growing rather impatient.

But he couldn’t help it. He’d dreamt of this for so long he wanted to savour the moment. Wanted to remind himself that this wasn't a dream. He’d loved you for so long, and he couldn’t even fathom the elation now he knows that you love him back. The sweet scent of your dripping folds pulled him back to reality, like a siren beckoning him to a watery death, he let your essence pull him in, before the tip of his nose rested on the pearl of your clit.

His hands dragged up your thighs, gently kneading the sensitive flesh. He stayed like that for what felt like far too long, until everything happened at once. Throwing your legs over his shoulder, Levi’s tongue lapped a strong, solid line through your centre, sending your mind reeling.

“Aaaah…! Yes, Levi, Levi…!” Levi’s mind could have been a crime investigation blackboard. Making a mental note of every single reaction you were making. The buck of your hips when he kisses your folds. The arch of your back when he suckles on your clit. The hitch in your breath as his fingers came up to slowly tease your soaking entrance. Levi pulled back slightly, peering up at you and honestly, you almost lost control at the sight of him.

His mouth and chin dripping with your juices, pupils blown with pure, hungry desire. You parted your lips to comment on the delightful sight, but were cut off by the rogue moan he dragged from your throat, his fingers gently rubbing your clit, slowly travelling further south until you felt them circling your aching hole. Nerves gently bubbled through your stomach. You’d heard what the prostitutes and escorts said about a woman’s first time. You knew it was going to hurt, if the two of you went that far tonight. You knew it wasn’t going to be amazing the first time.

Levi also seemed to know.

“Hey, I’m not expecting anything after this, okay? I just want to pay you back for earlier, and make you feel… well, good. We can stop if you want,” you whined slightly at the loss of friction against your sensitive bud, but you couldn’t deny the reassurance calming your suddenly beating heart.

“Stop now and I’ll never give you head again,” you grinned, but he could see the sincerity and gratitude behind your mischievous eyes. You wanted this, and he was more than happy to provide.

“Order received,” he chuckled, before returning his mouth to your waiting pussy.

“Fuck, yes…! Yesyesyesyes HAA-AH, L-Levi…! Right there, fuck, fuck! Yes, right there,” Levi smirked as you whined his name, realising he’d never heard a sweeter sound.

Maybe the bubble of your laughter at a close second.

That same scandalous finger still rubbing patterns into your now throbbing clit, bringing you closer to your high. His other hand once again returning to your wanton hole, gently massaging your folds as his tongue darted into your entrance, dragging a long needy moan from your mouth.

Levi gently eased his finger into your waiting heat, his eyes rolling at how tight you were. He loosened a groan as he ground his now seeping length into the sheets below, the vibrations from his mouth almost enough to send you over the edge if you weren’t clenching at the strange intrusion.

As if sensing your slight discomfort, Levi latched onto the hood of your clit and sucked, relishing in the desperate cry of his name as the pad of his fingertip started rubbing against your walls.

The clench of discomfort soon turned to a flutter of pleasure as you adapted to having someone touch you so intimately. You started to understand why some women enjoy this, and more so when Levi twisted his wrist, hooking his fingers up and brushing against that spongy spot hidden deep within your folds almost by accident. He was worried he’d hurt you, your reaction was so sudden, but your loose string of breathless moans put him at ease.

“SHIT, there, stay… Nngh, AAH, stay there… that feels, yes…! That feels so good Levi,” you threw your head back against the pillow in utter ecstasy as he continued to massage that spot, easing anothing finger in to add to the now heightened pleasure. Whilst you felt both fingers inside of you, there was no discomfort as his tongue continued to swirl around your pearl.

This was his favourite part. Whilst having you kneeling between his thighs and shattering his control was indescribable, nothing could compare to the pleasure he felt whilst eating you out like a starved man. Fuck it felt good to make you feel good. Levi couldn’t stop his constant stream of whispered groans as his cock contiued to weep precum at the mere realisation he was wedged between your legs, feasting on your sex. He continued to grind against the mattress, feeling his own release start to tighten.

Quickening the pace of his working fingers, you couldn’t decipher the pattern Levi was lapping with his tongue, moving in what you thought was random zig-zags against your almost overstimulated clit.

You felt your thighs start to shake, moans escalating into high pitched, breathy pants as the coil in your stomach tightened to the point of snapping, quivering with tension.

“I’m gonna– fuuuuck…! Levi, Lev-Levi, I'm gonna cum… Yes, oh fuck yes, YES FUCK oh– LEVIIII!” with the continued ‘come here’ motion and mind numbing pace of his fingers against your g-spot and a final, long suck of your clit, you completely came undone with a desperate, lengthy scream of his name. Knuckles draining white with your iron grip on the sheets, your thighs locked around his head as your back arched completely off the bed.

It was all Levi needed to find his own release, hearing you chant his name like a prayer and feeling you convulse around his fingers and gush around his face was enough for him to spill all over the bedsheets, a small needy whine fluttering from his muffled mouth, devoured by your leaking cunt.

You two stayed like that for a moment as you both came down, Levi allowing you to catch your breath before being forced to tap on your thighs to release him, the clamp around his head easing.

“As happy as I would be suffocated between your legs, I don’t think I want to die quite yet,” Levi’s gravelly, gently teasing voice brought your back down from whatever elysium your mind had wandered off to, feeling his breath against your face. Your eyes peeled open, too fucked out to widen completely at the state of his face. Pearly white translucent essence lathered his lips and chin, bathing him in a glossy coat until he wiped it away with his other hand.

“What the fuck was that pattern? The one with your tongue?”

“Something I thought of on the spur of the moment. L-E-V-I, A-C-K-E-R–” your giddy giggle cut him off, hand pushing his face to the side playfully.

“Okay okay I get it, you’re utterly filthy and possessive.”

“Well, I had to leave my mark on you somehow.”

“As if the marks on my neck don’t exist.”

“Oh, they do. I’ll be spelling my name like that next time,” you gaped at his cocky smirk, unable to believe this was the same man you’d spent years living with.

As if inspecting your release on the tips of his fingers, he went to suck them clean in his mouth, but you were suddenly much faster. Grabbing his wrist, you brought his hand to your face, engulfing his fingers and swirling your tongue around the soft pads.

Levi’s eyes widened, a brow raised in incredulous disbelief.

“You brat, that was mine,” he huffed against your neck, looking at his hand with a pout as you took his fingers out your mouth with a small suck.

“Hmm, I don’t taste too bad,” you mused with a smirk, hoping to get some sort of rise out of him.

What you weren’t expecting was for him to roll to the side, pulling you into his chest so you had to angle your head up to peer into his now soft, grey eyes.

“You taste divine, firefly,” your heart skipped a beat at the nickname he’d only called you twice before.

“Why do you call me that? Don’t get me wrong, I love it but– why?” you murmured, snuggling into his warmth as much as you could whilst still being able to look into his loving gaze.

Levi stayed quiet for a moment, almost as if he were contemplating something, before gently tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear.

“Because you’re a light, (Y/N). I was in a shit place, and you were a light. From the day I met your scrawny ass. You shone like some weird, feisty little beacon. You’re my firefly in the dark,” Levi was never good with words. Shit, he didn’t know how many times he’d rehearsed that little explanation, ready for the day when you would inevitably ask, and even then he still got it wrong. There was so much more he wanted to say. How you guided him forward. How you bathed him in your glow. You were so much more than his beacon.

You were his whole heart and soul.

You had been for a while.

Tears lined your eyes. You certainly weren’t expecting that. You weren’t expecting something so tender, even after your lovemaking. You weren’t expecting to see the raw, unwavering devotion in his eyes as he spoke such soft, soulmending words. His arms tightened around your waist as you nestled into the crook of his neck, breathing in his fresh, sweat musked scent.

You were both tired, content from you finding your highs in each other. Administrating pleasure for one another.

You were both happy with how far things had gone.

Then why were you both still awake?

Levi felt you lashes flutter intermittently against his collarbones, his only indication that you joined him in consciousness.

Neither of you said anything. You didn’t have to. Raising your head from his neck, the unspoken want reflected in his own eyes. Your lips joined his, gently moulding against one another in a gentle, passionate kiss. Wordlessly, he rolled on top of you, caging you against the bed with his arms either side of your head as his mouth moved against yours.

“Do you want this?” Levi pulled back just far enough to murmur, his lips still ghosting your own. Your hands found his hair, gently massaging his scalp as you nodded, looking deeply into those stormy eyes, blue and silver swirling seamlessly within his irises.

“I want you, Levi. Always you,” you responded, leaning back up to close the miniscule gap between you. One of your hands travelled down his back, skirting round his hips to his half hard length. You giggled cheekily at his muffled groan when you took him in your hand again, slowly pumping as he continued to harden. You wanted this. More than anything, you wanted him to claim you, and you wanted to claim him. You belonged to each other.

Levi lined himself up with your folds, shivering as his tip grazed your wetness.

“Last chance to say no before I take your virginity,” there was nothing but sweet sincerity in his hushed voice, his thumb caressing your cheekbone.

You masked your nervousness by raising a cocky brow, a lopsided smirk pulling at your lips.

“Right back at you, handsome,” you replied, but Levi could see right through you. Though your tone put him at ease slightly, he could still tell you were anticipating what was to come.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise. I’d never deliberately hurt you, (Y/N),” Levi lowered himself to recapture your lips, hoping to take some of your mind off the pain as he began to ease himself into your slick folds. You were thankful he’d stretched you somewhat with his fingers, but it wasn’t quite enough to quell the pained hiss you elicited as he slowly filled you. He would pause his movements at every sharp inhale, patiently waiting for you to accommodate his girth. It actually helped him as well, the overwhelming pleasure of your walls tightening around his cock almost enough to send him over the edge for the third time. He felt guilty for enjoying it, knowing you were in a lot of discomfort.

“I’ve got you firefly. I’ve got you. You’re doing so well, we’re almost there, I promise, take as long as you need, I’ve got you,” he cooed reassuring encouragement in your ear, letting you know there was no pressure on you. You relaxed a little, feeling the pain ease a tad as you did.

Levi felt your muscles loosen a fraction, and relief washed over him at the mere thought of you feeling a little more comfortable. Still, he refused to move until he’d heard you give him the go-ahead. You were dictating this, and he was once again more than happy to go at your own pace.

“Okay… okay. You okay?” you opened an eye to look up at his strained expression, slightly concerned he wasn’t enjoying it. You knew it would get better for you, but there was no point in continuing if he wasn’t feeling good either. But that thought was quickly extinguished when he nodded slightly erratically.

“Yeah, more than okay. I should be asking you that,” your small, huffed amusement was music to his ears.

“Go on then,” you smiled mischievously, almost forgetting about the tearing pain between your thighs. Your calmed, comfortable demeanor soothed his guilt ridden heart as he smiled fondly.

“You okay?” he gave you an eskimo kiss, gently nuzzling his nose against yours.

“More than okay,” you replied, copying his own response with an earnest grin. “You can keep going, by the way. Sorry, I should have said that sooner,” you smiled, looking away a little sheepishly. He hated how you thought that way. Hated how, even now, you weren’t thinking about yourself. He swept away your expression with a quick peck to your lips.

“No, you shouldn’t have. I want to move with you. This is all about you, don’t worry about me,” you could have cried at his words, feeling his lips against your neck. “You feel amazing,” he whispered, grasping the sheets as he continued to fill you to the hilt. You hissed again, but the pain was lessening to a dull throb now, his entire length sitting snug within your walls.

You both paused again, allowing you to get used to the sensation of being so full.

“Everything alright?” you could have chuckled at the obvious restraint in his voice, heart warming knowing he was doing everything he could to make you feel as comfortable as possible. You loved how he continued to need reassurance.

“Yeah, all good. You can move now baby,” Levi looked back at you, wide eyed and stunned.

“Are you sure? You don’t need more time? I can wait, I don’t want you to think–” he couldn’t finish his sentence before your lips crashed against his, your hips bucking as you feasted on his mouth. His eyes rolled at the friction and you swallowed the groan escaping his lips as he began to pull out, only to slowly thrust back in, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of your gummy walls gripping and massaging his length.

“Fuck… god you feel so good,” he moaned, having to remove his mouth from yours in favour of breathing. You gasped quietly, raising your legs to wrap around his waist, encouraging his hips to roll deeper. The pain had been completely replaced by a unique pleasure you’d never felt before.

“Yes… Levi, shit, yes…!” Your breathy moans fueled his gentle thrusts, keeping the pace steady and rhythmic. It worked perfectly for both of you, especially when the tip of his cock grazed the same spot you were sure his fingers were grinding against earlier.

“There! L-Levi, right there, yes oh fuck!” you whined, rolling your hips to meet his. Levi stilled, allowing you to grind yourself on his length, your mouth falling open as he continued to rub against your g-spot, the spongy texture enveloping his leaking tip.

“(Y/N), a-aah,” Levi gave up on forming words for the second time that night, loosening a lengthy, gravelly groan into your ear. You whimpered as he started to thrust again, picking up the tempo as the two of you lost yourselves in the pleasure of each other’s bodies.

He kept the angle the same, heatedly relishing in the high pitched moans with each well placed thrust.

“M-more, Le-vi, Levi, ‘need more,” your heels dug into the small of his back as if he would pull away. Snaking his hand between you, your hips bucked wildly as he started to circle your clit with his first two fingers.

“Yes, yes, FUCK, yes, shit (Y/N),” he couldn’t stop the stream of breathy grunts as your walls contracted around him, sucking him deeper than he ever imagined. “Does it– nngh– does it feel g-good?” he asked, as if you could find a voice with which to reply. Miraculously, you managed to nod frantically, uttering a guttural “yes” as his thrusts swiftened to something a little rougher, encouraged by your continued string of curses, his hips now pounding into you. The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the continued squelching of his cock entering you repeatedly only heightened the sensation as you walls began to clench, you high fast approaching with the repeated rubbing of your clit and g-spot. Your nails began to claw against his back, scratching lines of fire against his skin.

“Levi... LEVI! Fuck… fuck... I’m gon-na cum. D-don’t stop, feelssogood…!”  

“Yeah? C-cum then. Cu– fuck, cum for me,”

“A-ah, Levi, yes… YES…! LEVIIII…!” Levi’s breath hitched as you held him in a vice grip, his eyes rolling back in sheer ecstasy as you came around his dick, back bowed in an arch, eyes closed as your orgasm washed over you in waves Your thighs shuddered and tightened around his hips as he fucked you through you high, fingers still blurring against your pearled bud until overstimulation shattered through your nerves, muscles twitching and clamping as he continued to find his own high.

“Shit…! Shit, oh fuck… Fuck, i’m so close, (Y/N) I’m s-so– so close, ha-ah…! Nngh, i’m gonna– oh fuck, yes… yes fuck…! Imgonnacum, (Y/N)... aa-aah, fuck (Y/N)!” Levi only just managed to pull out before he came across your abs, groaning desperately as his hips bucked into your lower stomach. You reached down through your own fucked out haze to grasp his cock, milking him through his orgasm much like you did early on in the night. Thumb grazing circles across his overly sensitive tip.

“Fuck, (Y/N) stop, ‘s too much… p-please,” you grinned against his neck as he collapsed on top of you, his face turning to the side as he fell between your shoulder and the pillow, panting against your skin.

You both refused to move, limbs too heavy to even think about cleaning up right now.

“Fuck… that was good,” you breathed, arms coming to drape across his marked back. It was only then you realised how painful it looked. “Levi! Oh my god I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” you asked, gently caressing the now raised lines across the muscles on his shoulders and back, hoping to soothe what you had done. He huffed a chuckle at the concern in your tone. If only you knew how much he’d loved feeling you draw white hot lines into his skin.

“Don’t be. I’m fine, I kinda liked it,” he confessed, tilting his head up to look into your shimmering, concerned eyes. (E/C) irises that quickly swirled with cheeky intent. You poked his forehead fondly, raising a brow.

“You little masochist,” your teasing tone made him lift his heavy body off yours, holding his weight a little shakily on his elbows as he leaned down to kiss you gently, his tongue brushing effortlessly against yours.

“Mmm, it was rather good wasn’t it?” he smirked against your lips as you scoffed.

“Rather? Says the man who the neighbours will be complaining about for the next god-knows-how-long. I think even those shit eating nobles above ground heard you,” you teased, smoothing over his eyebrow, his eyes rolling dramatically as he bunched up the sheet to gently wipe his seed from your abdomen.

“Okay fine, it was really good. But you know, you weren’t exactly silent yourself, right?” you’d never get bored of this banter between you. Never get tired of the amused spark in his dark irises, the slight quirked pull of his lips.

“Shut up,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him against your neck when you couldn’t keep up the feigned annoyance on your face. He chuckled into the dip between your neck and shoulder before the two of you fell silent, content to bask in each other’s comforting warmth.

“You need to go pee,” and maybe it was his flat delivery breaking the serene silence, but that one sentence broke you. You exploded into fits of laughter, head thrown back in hilarity. Levi looked up in bewilderment, puzzled by your sudden reaction. But you had a certain contagious spark to your laughter, and he found himself joining you in your amusement. You couldn’t tell whether it was the release of all the sexual tension between you, or whether it was the elating realisation that you belonged to each other. Whether it was the relief of finally physically admitting your mutual attraction, or something completely different, but you found yourself unable to stop the bubbles of happiness from escaping your chest, even when you’d calmed down a little.

Levi too managed to control his hiccups of mirth, at least enough to ask you a one word question.

“What?”

You adored the way he looked at you and you were sure only one other person had ever seen him look like that before.

“Nothing, you’ve always got my wellbeing at the front of that beautiful mind of yours, haven’t you?” your hands carded through his hair as he rolled his eyes again. You could tell he was trying to school his smile back to neutral, but found himself unable when faced with your grinning visage.

“Shut up and go pee brat, I’ll clean up here,” Levi reluctantly rolled off you, pulling you up with him because he knew you wouldn’t have moved otherwise. You were shaky on your legs and he held your arms until you’d regained your strength before sending you off with a quick peck on your lips, something you tried to deepen but he caught on to your antics disappointingly quickly. “Go, you insatiable minx,” you laughed again as he gently pushed you, not before glancing at your gorgeous physique.

“Oi, stop checking me out,” you grinned over your shoulder as you left the room to do as he said.

It didn’t take him very long to strip the bed and change the sheets, finding some spare cloth and cases to drape over the bare mattress and pillows, bundling up the dirty bed clothes and dumping them in a small basket to be washed All before you wandered back in. Levi could see how tired you looked as you made a beeline for him, not quite with the same savvy confidence as you had five minutes ago, the night’s activities finally catching up with you. He couldn’t say he felt any different.

“C’mere beautiful,” he sighed as you collapsed into his chest. Levi tightened his arms around your body, pulling you to the bed with him.

Lying down on the fresh sheets, he tucked you closer into his chest, a smile pulling at his lips as you wrapped your tired arms around him.

As if he would ever leave you.

Tilting his head down, he pressed a delicate kiss to your hair, smiling against the faint scent of his soap you usually used.

“I love you, Levi,” Levi’s breath hitched at the three words he’d longed to hear you say. Never in his entire Underground existence did he think he could ever be this happy. The thought provoked a rogue tear to slide down his cheek.

When he’d regained some of his composure, realising he hadn’t moved or even breathed for a little too long,  his legs shifted to tangle with yours, simply wanting to feel you against him.

“I love you too, firefly,” he felt your soft, relieved smile against his neck as you both settled into each other, drifting off into one of the longest sleep either of you had managed in a very, very long time. At some point he’d rolled the two of you over, facing his back to the door, caging you in and instinctively protecting you against the horrors that lay outside those four walls.

Neither of you woke when Isobel and Farlan returned to the house in complete disarray.

Isobel immediately suspected what had happened judging by the plethora of discarded clothing and bundled white sheets in the wash basket.

“Oh my god, Farlan look! Is bro okay? Wait, are they both okay?! Look at (Y/N)’s neck!” Isobel gawked in slightly scared awe at her brother and his childhood friend. Well, lover now, they supposed, if the scratches on his back and the hickeys on your neck were anything to go by.

“How long do you think they’ve been knocked out like this?” the taller, sandy haired man asked, raising a brow to the girl as they leant on the doorframe, both looking at your sleeping, barely covered forms.

“Honestly? Beats me. Took them long enough though. If they didn’t fuck soon I would have thrown myself out the window. You could smell the sexual tension between those two,”

“That’s gross, Issy,” Isobel giggled at Farlan’s disapproving look, the dirty blonde clipping the back of her head as he leaned forward to shut the door, giving the two of you privacy.

Levi had been semi-coherent. Too tired and comfortable to throw either of them one of his glares, the sleeping bundle in his arms had softened him to the point of gooeyness. He smiled contently against your head.

Honestly, he couldn’t blame Isobel.

If you two hadn’t done something soon…

He would have thrown himself out the window alongside her.

꧁ꨄ꧂

“So, you did know her?” Levi tried to trace the steps he took that led up to this exact situation. He was always about no regrets, but shit, if he wasn’t starting to have a few. Sitting opposite his Commander, an ankle crossed over his knee, arms folded defensively, occasionally leaning forwards to take sips from his small cup of tea he’d managed to bring with him before being almost dragged into the blonde’s office.

He rolled his eyes, setting down his teacup once again, his arms returning to their positions against his chest.

“No. I already told you,” he’d insisted on keeping up this charade of ignorance, not knowing what it would do to either of you if anyone found out. Although he knew it was useless lying to him, Erwin would inevitably find out sooner or later.

The man across his face rubbed his palm against the side of his face in slight frustration, eyes closing as he took a calming breath. Levi almost felt sorry for him. He knew Erwin was under a lot of constant stress, and he knew he was contributing to that stress right now. If it was about anyone else, he would have caved in sooner. But this was you, and he would go to the ends of the earth to protect you.

“Levi… this is serious. If you know her, I need to know. It could help us protect her–”

“Protect her? Against what? I thought the MPs were done with her now,” Levi’s façade slipped slightly as worry invaded his normally rational mind. Erwin raised a thick eyebrow, clearly noting Levi’s change of tone.

“Just because they’re done with her doesn’t mean they won’t fight to get their way. She killed a lot of their soldiers, Levi. It’s only natural they would want to harm her, and we can only offer so much protection to the criminals we seem to be accumulating,” Erwin explained cautiously, as if realising Levi was a ticking time bomb, and any wrong move could set him off. But the shorter man decided against exploding at that comment, too fixated on the idea you could be harmed further.

“But you struck a deal with Niles, right? Aren’t you commanders supposed to honour deals like that?” the ravenette asked with no small degree of irritation in his tone. Erwin seemed to be slowly understanding what was going on. It was becoming more obvious that Humanity’s Strongest Soldier was perhaps more than familiar with The Raven.

“Levi, please. Who was she to you? An associate? Business partner? A friend? A lover?” Levi’s jaw flickered at the last suggestion, telling the Commander all he needed to know. “Really?” there was no judgement in his voice, only genuine, surprised curiosity. He didn’t think Levi even had it in him to love another, especially since he’s lost so many.

“Tch, so what?” might as well admit to it now he’d already guessed. Levi’s heart clenched with guilt, already trying to formulate some sort of plan. He didn’t know why there would be any repercussions to the two of you having a relationship years ago, but he didn’t doubt there would be. There always seemed to be.

“No, nothing, I’m just… surprised if I’m honest. You’ve never mentioned her before,” Erwin seemed genuinely, innocently interested, rather than that usual tone he took when he was fishing for information. Levi relaxed a tad, reaching for his teacup and taking a good, long sip, providing himself time to think.

“It was a very long time ago now… We haven’t seen each other in a decade or so,” he admitted quietly over the rim of his teacup, attempting to hide his face behind his hand.

“Do you still love her?” Levi almost choked on his tea at the sudden, incredibly personal question. The obvious answer was yes. Yes, he still loved you. He never stopped loving you. He only realised how much he really did still love you when he saw you again.

“No,” his response wasn’t as strong as he wanted it to be, and true to his perceptive nature, Erwin noted his hesitancy.

“I think we’re well past lying now, don’t you think?” Erwin smiled gently, now knowing why this was always such a sensitive subject for Levi. Why he stormed into his office the other day demanding to talk to him. Why he was so beside himself about your treatment.

That was his past lover.

Levi sighed, placing the teacup back on the desk before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“It’s more complicated than that,”

“It’s a yes or no question Levi,”

“What’s it to you, Eyebrows? Pretty sure my answer doesn’t dictate whether she’s safe or not just because The Raven is an ex to one of your captains,” the venom in his voice was tamed by his obvious fatigue. Erwin could only imagine how much of a toll this had taken on the ravenette.

“No. It doesn’t. But I don’t want you to think you can’t come to your friends about something like this, Levi. She’s–” Erwin cut himself off, internally debating the best way to go about this. “She’s somebody important to you. Incredibly important, if your little display the other demonstrated anything,” Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue at the remark.

“I just don’t want her to get hurt. More than she already has,” it was strange seeing Levi, a man Erwin had known to be incredibly stoic and in control seem so vulnerable. It was strange to think Levi had any weaknesses. But the blonde supposed every man had a weakness. Even him.

However if Levi didn’t want her to get hurt, then he should have spoken up before Erwin struck a deal with the MPs to let her join the Scouts.

“Levi… She's a Scout now. It’s highly likely she’s going to get hurt on expeditions,”

“I KNOW THAT,” Erwin raised his brows at the sudden, raised tone, not expecting something quite that desperate to come from Levi, the smaller man now refusing to make eye-contact. “I know that,” he repeated quietly. It was obvious he was in a difficult situation.

“Then I'll ask you again. Do you still love her?” Erwin’s tone was ever patient, something Levi appreciated as he sat in silence before answering, once again unable to meet Erwin’s piercing gaze.

“Yes. Yes I do. I didn’t stop. I never stopped loving her,” Erwin’s expression softened at Levi’s words, leaning his chin against his intertwined fingers, his elbows resting on the desk.

“Does she know that?”

“Fuck sakes Erwin, are you seriously giving me dating advice?” Levi raised what could have been an amused brow, if only the seriousness of the conversation didn’t convert it into something of irritation. He couldn’t deny this conversation had gone better than he could have expected. He didn’t expect his Commander to be so supportive of a relationship between his Strongest Soldier and The Raven. But, he supposed, as much as he hated to admit it, Erwin was one of his closest friends. And his hearty chuckle only exaggerated that fact.

Annoyingly.

“No. No I’m not. I’m not one to give such advice,” another silence settled between the two men, before Erwin spoke up again. “What would you like to do about this?” he asked, willing to let Levi have some say in how his ex lover was treated within the Scouts.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how would you like to oversee her training? From what I’ve seen, she doesn’t respond well to… authority,” god, talking about this it was akin walking on a sleeping titan, not knowing what would suddenly jolt it awake enough to lunge and bite. This was more Hange’s field than anything, knowing Levi had a strange soft spot for the scientist. Not that he would ever admit it.

“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s… well… Yes, she’s difficult. And yes, she doesn’t like authority. And yes, she’s perfectly capable of kicking the shit out of any of us whilst eating a salad as she did it but she’s not impossible. You just have to know how to… work her,”

“Sounds like you do,”

“Watch it.”

“Apologies. That was inappropriate,” Levi could tell there was nothing apologetic about Erwin’s tone. And he couldn’t deny that it was rather funny, conveying his thoughts with a less spiteful eye roll.

Eyebrows’ eyebrows furrowed in thought, wondering who should survey your training, and who’s squad you should join after.

“I can have Miche take her through ODM maintenance, he should–”

“No point. She knows how those things work better than you or I. She was the one who sold to us,”

“Without your knowledge?” Levi stayed awkwardly quiet for a moment.

“She was wearing a mask…”

“Seriously?”

“It’s dark down there, okay? We couldn’t fucking see her face,” Levi spat, only adding to Erwin’s humerous disbelief. “Anyway, she doesn’t need to be taught that shit. She already knows it. She just needs to be taught how to use it. But she’s a fast learner. If she doesn’t surpass Miche’s kill count in her first two weeks I'll be extremely surprised,” Erwin smiled subtly as Levi kept singing your praises, seemingly unable to stop himself from aggressively gushing about how fantastic you were.

“You seem confident,”

“I am.”

“Why?” The question caught him off guard. Why? Because it was you. He was always confident when it came to you. He could always trust you with anything because he knew you.

Or… at least…

He did.

“Look, I know you’re usually the one asking me to trust you, but just this once, trust me,” Erwin had already made the decision to trust Levi on this one. He seemed to know you better than anyone, even if he had just avoided the question.

“I was going to anyway, but alright. Miche for ODM, Hange for titan theory–”

“Terrible idea, but continue,”

“And she can join the rest of the soldiers for hand to hand. Does that suit you?” Levi couldn’t quite understand why Erwin was being so lenient with this.

“I don’t give you orders. If that’s how it is, that’s how it’ll be,” the raven haired man folded his arms once again, leaning back in his chair.

“Levi, I’m trying to be accommodating about this,” Erwin huffed, growing ever more tired with the Captain’s attitude.

“Why? Just treat her like any other cadet,”

“Honestly? Because I don’t want you to be in a constant foul mood if something goes wrong with her training,” Levi scoffed, averting his eyes from Erwin.

“Fine. Yes, that suits me. Whether it’ll suit her or not… that’s a different question altogether,” Levi’s subtle, fond smile didn’t escape Erwin’s ever-searching gaze, the man picking up on all of Levi’s tells.

“Very well. She can join Captain Francis’ squad as a temporary fix until we see where she would fit in–”

“That man’s a waste of air and you know it,” Levi really was behaving like a petulant child, huffing and folding his arms with every idea he disagreed with.

“Whilst yes, I agree with you, he’s also another Captain. You should probably treat him like one,”

“I don’t see him here with us, do you?”

“Levi…” Erwin warned lowly. Though he did sometimes enjoy the smaller man’s sarcastic quips, now wasn’t the time for such things. Before Levi could respond to the warning however, Erwin continued swiftly. “So, you’ll oversee her training?”

“Didn’t I just say that was a bad idea?”

“I find myself disagreeing with you.”

“Tch, fine. ``We done here?” he asked, tapping his foot impatiently as if he’d been waiting to ask that question throughout their entire meeting. Erwin sighed, trying so hard not to roll his own eyes before nodding and waving a hand. But before Levi could even open the door, he was stopped.

“Levi… What's her name?” Erwin asked, peering at him as if he could see right through him. Levi’s expression softened, thinking back to when she asked him to refer to her with her name rather than her alias.

“(Y/N),” he spoke your name as if saying it any louder would shatter it, the delicacy in his tone so unlike the Levi Erwin had come to know. “But call her Raven until she tells you. Hate to say it, but you wouldn’t stand a chance if she decides you have a target on your back,” that alien fondness returned to Levi’s expression, as if he wasn’t talking about his ex lover possibly murdering his commander.

“I’ll take your word for it. Thank you Levi, for being honest with me. I know there’s more to say, but I'm sure you’d rather rest than talk to me about it,” the offer was there, Levi knew it was. He knew Erwin was offering to help sort through his thoughts with him, but he needed time to…

Adjust to this new normal.

So instead he hummed non-comitally and bid the Commander goodnight.

“Night Erwin, don’t strain yourself too hard thinking about this,” it was his way of saying he was grateful for Erwin’s support. Levi always had his own special way of saying things like this.

Erwin couldn’t respond before Levi was already closing the door behind him.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Warm shower. No, hot shower. Fuck it, scalding shower. Levi kept turning up the temperature, the showerhead gurgling with each twist. He usually found, when nothing else could calm his nerves or soothe his head, a scalding shower and a hot tea worked the trick. But every part of him was alight tonight. His body, his mind.

His heart and soul.

His entire being crackled with some sort of energy he hadn’t felt in a while. He recognised it. Of course he did. It was the same energy he’d feel whenever you’d return home from your strange trips away, which he now knew was Viper teaching you how to survive. Was that how you knew how to stitch his wound that night? Was that how you knew how to effectively apply a bandage, how to suture and sew? That night when he’d stumbled through the door to find the house empty. When he’d sat at the table, silently begging you to come back just so he could see you again. Just so he would stop worrying.

That night when he’d first kissed you.

There were a lot of firsts that night, he remembered fondly. The first kiss, the first touch. The first time he’d heard you moan his name. The first time he moaned yours.

The first time he’d felt such utter pleasure, when your tongue swirled around his tip and your lips lapped at his vein. When your throat massaged his length and he spilled into your mouth.

The first time he’d tasted you, delicately kissing your swollen folds and listening to you unravel above him. Your breathy whines playing on repeat in his head.

The first time you two were joined, closer than you’d ever been before.

Gradually, the shower became far, far too hot. Looking down, Levi could both see and feel the result of his little nostalgia trip. The small whimper of his name in the cell had unlocked a torrent of repressed urges that now sprang to light.

In more ways than one.

It was wrong. It was so, so wrong. You were a mere husk of who you were. You were damaged, fractured. Spiderwebbed cracks lined your mind, threatening to shatter and yet, no matter how far down he turned the shower temperature, no matter how much cold water splashed against his toned back, images of your ecstasy creased face still flashed in his mind, his length only hardening further the longer he left it.

“Damnit…” he muttered with a heavy sigh, before wrapping his hand around his cock and slowly fucking into his fist. His hips bucked involuntarily, having not done this in quite a while now. Levi ran his thumb over that prominent vein, remembering how your hot mouth would suckle kisses along the underside. A low moan escaped his throat, lost down the drain along with the filthy cold water.

He lathered his precum over his sensitive tip, hissing at the friction as he began to pump faster, boney knuckles gripping tighter as he neared his high. His hand didn’t feel like his own. There were no rough callouses on his palms, but rather they were softer. Daintier. Smaller. He couldn’t stop his imagination running wild as he thought of you jerking him off, that playful, fox-like smile pulling at your lips whenever his back arched or his hips bucked.

“Fuck…” he groaned, fucking into his fist with renewed vigor, his balls tightening as he felt his release wash through his body, mouth falling open. Throwing his head back, Levi thrusted his hips into his grip as ropes of white seed spilled from his tip, seeping through his fingers.

He braced his arm against the white tiled wall, watching the water wash away his ivory sins as his cock softened in his hand. Guilt punctured his afterglow, self hatred a constant accomplice as he turned the temperature back up to boiling, hissing as the lava scalded his back, staining his skin an angry red. He wouldn’t have tea after this. He wouldn’t carefully dry himself off, or sit at his desk and stave away sleep.

He would collapse amongst the unused duvet and pillows of his bed, and hope his nightmares carry him to retribution.

[kashimos-hajime]

homestretch of the hard times | g.t.

summary: the eve days of your potential death kinda spurns things to move forward: for takemura, it means confessions. for you, it means making exceptions. and drinks. ‘cause takemura’s the pickiest fucking eater you’ve ever met.

WARNINGS: small spoilers for act 1 of cyberpunk 2077 and references to non-spoiler texts between takemura and v, just fluff, small angst, swearing, idk what else is going on so if there are actual spoilers thats completely coincedental ndlnskfsldnf pairing: goro takemura x fem!street-kid!v word count: 2.6k

a/n: so cdpr did us dirty for not allowing us to romance him (to my knowledge) but he has my mind, heart and everything else so :) listened to the bones by maren morris w/ hozier

part of the tales of a two-bit thief series

It starts with something straight out of a romance movie: A car crash, saving each other’s lives (well, him more than you) and “Wait, V, I need you.”

You don’t know how you got here, to be precise. There were a chain of events, some absolutely stand up fucking moments on your part, and just… fuckery. So much fuckery and life went to shit.

All you know is the ticking time bomb’s only ticking louder and at this point, the only thing that can silence it at all is the man beside you. Not even the meds Misty gave you can help you now. 

You’re sitting in his car because you called him and he had answered and now… now they’re on one of the off ramps looking over Night City like they own the fucking place.

Maybe you did, once. Ha, maybe back when everything seemed more job to job and not life to life. For a moment, maybe you were in the big leagues.

Takemura doesn’t say anything, even though you can tell he wants to. His hair still pulled into that man bun, collared shirt with not a single wrinkle in sight. Weird how he never looks out of place, not really. Not even with the car crash. Shit, he always looked good.

You think you’re actually gonna miss that. That one semblance of someone being put together that gave you the hope that maybe you could stick it too.

You think you’re gonna miss a lot of things about him—from his stupid complaints about the food here, to his stupid random philosophy texts in the day, to the fact that he eats the ramen you buy anyway without complaint, even though it’ll never compare to what he has in Japan.

The thought that counts.

They don’t even have the radio on, just the dim lights of the car, a window rolled down. You don’t smoke but you feel like you should be tapping a cig either way. You haven’t had the time to just fucking breathe—not with Silverhand breathing down your neck, corpo rats swarming you on all sides. 

Everyone wants a piece of you, it feels like. 

You look at Takemura.

Almost everyone.

“Thank you,” you tell him quietly, with difficulty. It’s hard to get through your words without thinking Silverhand’s behind your back, mocking you. You’re so fucking tired. “It hasn’t been easy.”

He doesn’t respond. He’s too busy looking at one of the cars nearly collide with a pedestrian. You could’ve laughed. You used to make fun of the shitty drivers in Night City, knowing full well you’re one of them.

You get chased by a couple of cops, rules start to bend.

You used to wonder why you never left.

Then, you actually left, and you realized that hell, you can take the person out of Night City—can’t take the Night City out of a person.

Atlanta fucking sucked, but maybe you should’ve stayed there.

But then, a tiny voice whispers as you look out the window to the fresh night wind. You never would’ve met him.

It’s funny, you think. To come back and get a brain tumour in the shape of a rocker who can’t fucking touch anyone who loves him, who he loved, only for you to fall in love with a corpo you can’t fucking touch at all because… because there is no time left. It just isn’t fair.

“I used to be a corpo kid,” you confess, looking at him with a wry smile again. That catches his attention. He looks at you with those eyes that scrutinize you, interrogate you, peel you apart to your bare essentials and you have to look away before you can’t control your face anymore. God fucking damn it. “Not when it mattered, obviously, but… I remember what it was like. Grew up hating every single on of them.”

“Your parents were Arasaka?”

“Mhm. Security division.” It’s like your eyes are magnetic to his because when you blink, you find yourself regarding him again. Your fingers play at your lips. “Counterintelligence. I was supposed to go into that, too. Big dreams.” 

“I see.”

“Yeah, then my parents were tried for treason and murdered, so I got thrown out. That’s it.” Your hand falls away. You pick at the chipped nail polish on your thumb. “Never told anyone that. ‘Cept…” Jackie. Well, he’s fucking dead, now. “‘Cept you, now, I guess. Guess some corpos aren’t so bad.”

The corner of his mouth pinches up like he’s flattered and you can’t help the pleased warmth spreading through your chest. 

“Should I be honoured I am one of the few exceptions you have made?”

“Well, I don’t make exceptions often, so…” You grin slyly. He looks away just as you catch a flash of his smile growing. It’s a nice smile. You wish you saw it more often before the end of the road. Maybe it’s one of the regrets you have, too. “Yeah, maybe you should feel special.”

“Hm.”

“C’mon, Takemura. Humour the walking dead, yeah?” You stretch against the leather of his car seat with a pleased sound. “I’m spending what time I have left with who I want to. Can’t ask for much better than that.” A quiet hangs in the air as you melt against the black leather and you look at Takemura who’s staring at the wheel with an intensity you don’t often see. It makes your gut squirm. 

“And I? I am one of those people?”

You lean on one hip and look at him, bending a knee and resting an ankle on your thigh. He looks at you with an uncertainty—an uncertainty you’re sure echoes in your eyes.

It was business, then it wasn’t. Maybe it never was.

“Yeah. You’re one of the few on the short list.”

“Exceptions again.”

You laugh. “Yeah. You’re an exception to most things, I think. Weird, that.”

“How so?”

“Ah, I don’t know. I’ve had family—still do, ones that matter, you know. Just… no one ever like you, Takemura. Drives me crazy.”

“The feeling is mutual. Your mocking brings you onto thin ice, V.” His fingers tap against the steering wheel. The engine’s off so it seems more fidgety than anything. Weird. You never noticed he fidgeted before. Maybe he’s nervous?

About what?

“I must ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

“If you have a future, what do you see for yourself?”

Your eyebrows shoot up. You frown and pick at your flecking nail polish even more, looking at your hand and focusing more on that so you don’t have to answer your question. His eyes burn into you and you swallow, trying not to act like you haven’t thought, in regret, at night, about a hundred million fucking times the possibilities they could’ve had together.

You’re not about to say all that.

Instead: “Settling down with the family. Mama Welles, people at the Coyote.” You blatantly don’t look at him when you add, “Others. This has been enough action for a lifetime.” You rest your hands on your lap and chance a glimpse at him. He’s looking away from you, out the window on his side, and you shift in your seat. “How about you? You must’ve… had dreams. Before all this shit went down. You make it out of here and then what?”

When he looks at you, your heart nearly cracks at the sadness in his eyes. He smiles, but there is no strength, and his eyes are darker than the night surrounding them.

“I would go to the countryside, just as I’ve always wanted. Leave this, all of this, behind. Rural Japan is beautiful, so a small town would suffice where everyone knows everyone. We do favours for one another. It is community. Nothing like here.” His lips pull into a tiny frown. “When I was a younger man, I wanted a daughter,” is all he says. “I believe I could have been a great father, so perhaps… perhaps one day.”

“A daughter? Not a son?” you ask curiously, and he almost chuckles. You can’t help the faint smile on your face. 

“If my daughter grew up anything like her mother,” he explains with a slight glance towards you, “I would have more hope than a son who was like me.”

You frown.  “You’re not a bad man, Takemura. Any son like you—with your code of honour, your shitty selfie skills—no one’s gotta a chance.”

He merely scoffs in response. Again, with the you mocking him. It’s a wonder he lets you.

“But really, that sounds… nice. A daughter, a wife.” You drum your fingers against your knee and his eyes dart to yours, click like they were always destined to meet, and your lips part. Words stall on your tongue and you want to speak but in the dim lights, you are lost in the darkness of his eyes. Something comes, something goes, and you barely croak out, “Whoever marries you will have to deal with so much of your shit that the kids have to turn out alright. The complaining, for one. Picky eater for another.”

This time, he does chuckle and you swallow a breath at the sound. “Dealing with it comes with practice, V.”

“Is that so?”

“Shouldn’t you know?”

“I—“ For once, no funny retort, no witty quip shoots out of your mouth, and you realize that there is an implication—an intricate dance where they’re struggling not to step on each other’s toes and nearly failing at every turn, yet somehow, it works because they’re dancing, and it’s quiet, and it’s… it’s peaceful.

Shit, you’re getting a load of this. When’d you become a poet?

“I guess I should know,” you finally say. “Never understood why I got so giddy whenever I saw your texts, you know, seein’ your name flash on my phone.” You laugh bitterly. “Guess I know why, now.” He’s silent and you don’t look at him. You look at the dashboard where you’ve kicked your feet up a dozen times, the glove compartment that still has your sunglasses inside.

Shit.

“Thank you for everything. Shit’s a little… more bearable, I guess. When you’re around, that is.” The words come out stilted, awkward, but your heart is so heavy in your throat you feel like you’re going to choke. You look into your lap, your whole body incinerating under what you’re sure is the most judgemental glare of your life and you just hope to fucking God this man says something, does something.

Holy shit. You’re going to die of embarrassment. Didn’t even think that was possible.

Then, a loud sigh. A sigh you���ve heard often enough beside you right before a gunfight or when he has to eat the food you ordered for him or even the nights when they’re exhausted, bruised, and just plain tired right before going to sleep where they lay on the floor.

It’s exasperated, a how on earth did we get here, a very annoyed again, you’re so fucking stupid, and you’re still running through your list on what this particular sigh can mean before a hand gently takes hold of yours. Your eyes dart to his, blinking and he stares at you like you’ve just stabbed him. Your heart is fucking racing in your chest, pounding like thunder. His fingers fold over and you realize, as you interlace fingers, that his skin is burning at your touch. 

Or maybe, it’s the other way around.

They sit there in silence, not looking at one another, looking out windows, parts of the car, everything but each other, and when he squeezes your hand, you close your eyes and swallow your heart.

It’s over.

“V,” he murmurs, voice so deathly quiet and raspy in your ears that your gut clenches. You turn to watch him. “Tell me that you will not stop fighting.” You swallow your breath as his eyes flicker from your own to your parted lips. He inhales quietly and you swear you can feel his heartbeat pulsing in his fingers in your grip. “That this is not all for nothing.”

“It isn’t.“

“Then I was right.” His eyes flutter back to your gaze and he tilts his head. Wisps of fine hair escaping his manbun brush over his nose and you reach up on your own accord, swiping it behind your ear. You lean over the console, your elbow digging into the leather and, tentatively, you trail your fingers down his jaw, hold his face in your hand. “I am… what is that phrase you use so often?”

“SNAFU?”

“No.”

“Assblasted.”

“No.”

“Royally fucked?”

“We need to expand your vocabulary.” You smile nefariously as his other hand reaches for your chin. He pinches it lightly, thumb stretching up to brush over your lips and your face freezes at his touch. “But yes. Royally fucked. I wasn’t wrong when I said I needed you.”

“I think that meant a whole something else back then,” you whisper rawly and he smiles sombrely. His thumb leaves your mouth to brush your cheek, his eyes fixing on you as if he’s trying to memorize aspects of your face: the arch of your nose, the bow of your smile, the way your brow wrinkles. “Meant more business-like.”

“I did. And now, I believe the terms have changed.” He arches an eyebrow. “Are we at a mutual understanding, V?”

“Yes.” And I hate that we are. Your hand along his jaw lifts to wrap around his wrist. “Consider that feeling mutual, yeah? It goes both ways.”

“I will.” Another small smile graces his lips. It makes him look younger every time and you rub your thumb over the back of his hand. 

“Do you wanna grab something to eat before you drive me back home for some shuteye?”

“The choices here are atrocious, V.”

“Then, drinks,” you propose, letting go of his wrist. He lets go of your chin, and turning to face the front, you kick up your feet on his dash. He stares at you for a moment then sighs because there really isn’t anything he can do about it. Nor, do you think, he wants to. You squeeze his hand and send him a silly smile. “How about drinks? I wasn’t hungry anyway.”

“Are you paying?”

You eye him incredulously. “Who do you take me for? You?”

He snorts and the engine roars to life with a flick of his wrist. He grabs the wheel dominantly and you swallow at the way his fingers wrap around the handle. “The Afterlife, then?”

“Or, we could make it rustic.” You pull his hand into your lap playfully and run a thumb over his knuckles. His eyes flit over and you send him a smirk. “I know Mama Welles doesn’t like you, but the Coyote’s serving cheap. Happen to like me there.” He begins to pull out of their little overhang and he nudges their joined hands into your abdomen, silently telling you to buckle in. Rolling your eyes, you mumble out a ‘boomer’ underneath your breath before letting go of him and following orders.

He settles a hand on your thigh and squeezes. You hang an arm out the window. 

The wind’s running through the car, he has the radio on low, and they’re easing through onto the highway.

Your chest is lighter than a feather, mind’s quieter than a ghost.

You’ve seen scarier deaths, dealt a lot more. You know that silence is a bigger killer than most bullets.

But here you are now…

“I’m changing this,” Takemura says. “This music is terrible.”

…Shit, maybe life isn’t so bad, ending the way it is.

[spacedikut]

the blessing of a blizzard ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: a blizzard leaves the team holed up in the bau office. spencer can’t stop thinking about your elusive boyfriend, mike, who might not be your boyfriend after all. 4.3k

a/n: festive fic! kind of! im too scared to do a final check so if there’s errors or i misuse pronouns just lemme know ily happy holidays ! thank you to the incredible @homoose for helping with dialogue :D

Mike. His name is Mike, and Spencer hates him.

Full name Michael, Spencer presumes, which comes from Hebrew meaning “who is like God?” A rhetorical question, implying there is no person like God, Michael was one of the archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible.

What Michael should mean, however, is the guy that stole your heart and left Spencer thinking things very unlike him – that Mike, a man Spencer has never met and that clearly makes you very happy, has a really stupid name, for example.

There are three things Spencer knows about him:

1. Ever since you started deciding on his wardrobe, ladies love him. It makes you a little jealous, apparently.

2. You love baking him homemade treats whenever you can. Like a movie playing in his head, Spencer can perfectly remember you excitedly chatting with Garcia and Emily, animatedly explaining how excited Mike gets when he sees you’ve made something just for him.

3. Mike can be a bit of a dick, actually. There have been several mornings you’ve come in with a long face, leaning back in your desk chair far enough to view the world upside down and whining about how grumpy Mike was that morning, how you had to tip-toe around your apartment lest he get mad.

You’d called him your soulmate, added that he’s a light in your life you didn’t know you needed until you had him. You’re a person who chooses their words carefully, so when you’re walking around putting Mike and soulmate in the same sentence, you mean business.

That business is ripping Spencer’s heart out of his chest, apparently. Because you’re busy showing JJ pictures of him on your phone right now, blissfully unaware of the subconscious glare Spencer is lasering into your phone as he leans against the jet counter.

Spencer’s never had the honour of seeing Mike (a genuine word you used – honour) and you know what? Spencer doesn’t want to know what Mike looks like. Spencer doesn’t care. Mike’s probably ugly, anyway, and Spencer’s confidence within himself grows day by day and if there’s one thing he’s learnt recently it’s that comparison is the thief of joy and-

“Oh!” JJ exclaims, “He’s gorgeous!”

Fuck Mike. Really, fuck him.

+++

The floor is slippery beneath everyone’s feet, the surrounding area slowly losing its mixture of colours to blend into one coat of white.

It’s snowing.

Garcia greets the team, a steaming cup of tea in her bejewelled hands, and everyone gets to work right away. There’s whispers of the snow getting heavier and sticking and covering more and more ground with more and more depth; people are rushing against the proverbial clock to get done and get home before they’re all stuck.

But that won’t happen, right? If people were genuinely concerned about getting snowed in, surely everyone would’ve been sent home early as a precaution. Right? Right?

Wrong.

Rossi’s the one to notice it, calling out, “Check it out. Snow’s pretty bad.”

He says it like it’s nothing, like they’ll race to the windows then deflate with disappointment because you couldn’t even create a single snowball with that light coat, but holy hell people are walking around with snow up to their ankles and it’s still coming down thick. And then the lights are flickering and JJ is making frantic calls home to Will and Hotch is exiting his office, phone pressed to his ear, calling everyone to attention:

“There’s a blizzard incoming. It’s too dangerous for anyone to be on the roads, so we’re being told to sit tight. You should all try to call home, just in case; we don’t know how long we’ll be here.”

Some people still brave it, still try to head on home, and whether they make it or not is up to the Gods. The team glance around, varying expressions – Emily and Derek look pissed, JJ is worried, and you and Rossi are straight-faced. Penelope is bouncing in excitement.

“It’s like a sleepover!”

All Spencer can think about is how Mike will have to suffer another day without you. He bites back a smile.

+++

Spencer’s straining his neck, butt barely on his desk chair, in attempt to see around all the bustling people that stand between you and him. Through the glass BAU doors, on the phone, your shoulders are slumped and you kick your boot against the floor a few times to channel your multitude of emotions into something. He hopes Mike isn’t giving you a hard time for something that isn’t within your control.

Emily looks up from her monitor, where she’s doing Christmas shopping even though it’s Christmas Eve, and looks thoroughly amused by Spencer’s internal battle of wanting to watch you but not wanting it to be obvious.

“You good, Reid?”

Spencer flinches like Emily pinched him. “Yeah, good. Fine. Are you good?”

Emily makes a show of slowly turning to look at you, still on the phone, then slowly turning back to Spencer’s wide-eyed gaze. She smirks. “You think they’re talking to Mike?”

Yes, Spencer does think that, but he’d made a point to not fully acknowledge it. And there’s something about Emily’s smugness that tells Spencer she’s teasing him – she knows something he doesn’t and it makes his eyes narrow. “Probably. Why?”

Whatever the response is, Emily’s barely opened her mouth before she’s interrupted by Penelope Garcia gracefully clapping her hands, getting the attention of every BAU member. The team quiets and all eyes are on Penelope. Except Spencer, who watches with concern as you sneak back to your desk, a furrow to your brow and downward dips either side of your mouth.

“I know these are less-than-great circumstances, and we’re stuck in work of all places, but that shouldn’t mean we can’t have a little fun! So…”

She wildly gestures for Hotch to step forward, a cheesy grin on her face and a gleam in Hotch’s eye that tells everyone he’s also smiling but internally, and she takes the three large boxes he was carrying like the good sidekick he is.

“We’re building gingerbread houses!”

There’s exclamations of surprise and joy; Emily lights up at the idea of doing anything other than work or sitting at her desk, and JJ takes a box to look it over before asking, “Where did you get these?”

Hotch answers. “They were supposed to be for the kids,” He shrugs, holding back a smile, “However, I guess we can use them now.”

“Yes,” Penelope nods, “Yes, we can use them now. Get your game faces on, because this is a competition. Hotch and Rossi are the judges, because they’re grumpy old men, and the rest of us will be in teams of two fighting to build the best gingerbread house the BAU has ever seen.”

Derek speaks up for the first time, just to insult Spencer. “I refuse to be on a team with Reid. He has no creative skills.”

Members of the team laugh and Spencer reacts indignantly. He wants to reply, but you’re already speaking.

“Hey! I’ll take him! Spencer’s great.”

Many heads snap to you when you speak, Spencer’s surely got whiplash, but you’re looking at him and smiling at him and him alone. He’s breathless at the sight, how you chose him and have literal stars in your eyes, yet all he can think is how undeserving he is of such a beauty. How undeserving anyone is, mostly Mike, to exist in the same reality as someone who puts the definition of beautiful to shame.

Spencer’s about to make the best damn gingerbread house the world has ever seen.

+++

So, building a gingerbread house? A little more difficult than originally thought.

Maybe it’s the sticky icing, or the temptation to simply eat all the sweet decorative candy rather than use it for its intended purpose, or…

Maybe it’s the pretty teammate Spencer has that keeps brushing against him, keeps brushing against his hands, and like a virus to a computer you completely wipe Spencer of all thoughts other than: Y/N.

Spencer caught you watching him while he was rolling up his shirt sleeves, caught you staring at his hands and trailing your eyes up his forearms, following the sleeves as they moved inch by inch up to his elbows.

Then, when Spencer was holding two pieces of gingerbread together, you were too lost in thought to put the icing between the cracks and cement them together. Your eyes were trained on the fingers pressing the pieces together. Spencer had to call your name three times to wake you up.

Then, something weird happened (if the previous instances weren’t weird enough). You two had been in your own bubble of hushed tones and accidental touching, surrounded by bickering and collapsing houses and at one point Emily offered Rossi twenty bucks if he just votes for her and JJ without them making a house, and suddenly it’s silent. All he can hear is his heartbeat, his blood pumping in his ears, and all he can feel is the warmth of your breath on his ear because you’re right there, over his shoulder, joining him in hunching over your creation to decorate it with all kinds of shapes and colours.

The close proximity is too much. It’s too much.

You lean even closer, shoulder and arm pressed directly against Spencer’s, and lift another hand to place a miniature candy cane next to the gingerbread door. The action causes your hand to brush Spencer’s, and for the first time ever he’s not jolting away like he’s been electrocuted, no, his hand stays there, hovering, waiting and hoping for more.

Hoping for more of you.

And you seem to realise, too, that Spencer’s reaction is abnormal. He can’t decide if you’re testing the waters, or if it was a mere accident. But what are you testing the waters for? Why are you trying to touch him? Why do you want to touch him?

He takes a sharp intake of breath. From the corner of his eye, he sees you turn to look at him, and he almost doesn’t reciprocate. Almost.

You’re so close, face so close to his own. You take the softest breaths, in and out, sending the gentlest puffs of air onto Spencer’s lips.

He has no idea what the fuck is happening. He doesn’t want it to stop.

Your eyes, always shining and full of an emotion Spencer can’t decipher, dance around his face – his eyes, to his nose, stopping on each cheek, back and forth and up and down. Spencer’s captured by them, unable to tear himself away, which has become quite the habit since he’s known you.

Then you’re looking at his lips.

Spencer blinks, hoping to clear away the obvious hallucination he’s having, but no. Nothing changes. Your gaze remains, unwavered, making Spencer subconsciously open his mouth. The softest gasp leaves it when your pupils dilate.

This is the perfect moment to kiss, right? Right here, in front of the gingerbread house you made together, decorated together, and now begin the start of something else together. It makes sense, it’s almost poetic, and Spencer’s thought about you and him in a relationship enough times to consider this opportunity good and sweet enough to regale everyone with in the future.

Can you imagine it? “We had our first kiss in front of the gingerbread house we slaved over together. We won the competition, too.”

There’s a loud clang – Penelope found an actual gong from somewhere – and Rossi announces that the timer has gone off and it’s time for the judges to vote for the winner.

When you gently pick up yours and Spencer’s creation and take it to a cloth-covered table, where Rossi and Hotch ominously stand with their arms crossed, Spencer is frozen in place.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

There’s no way you wanted to kiss him. It isn’t possible. You’ve never looked at him like that before. It must’ve been a mistake.

But you were so close…

No. If Spencer made that move, it would’ve ruined everything – your friendship, the festive fun, the atmosphere of the entire evening. Everyone’s expected to be stuck here for at least another six hours, and making it tense and awkward was not something Spencer is willing to do.

But your eyes…

Spencer can’t think about that fact too much. That could mean anything – dilated pupils don’t necessarily mean you’re in love. You could’ve gotten a good whiff of the gingerbread and felt hungry, or a song you really liked started playing from the playlist Penelope created. Or, most likely, Spencer thinks, you were thinking about someone else.

Your boyfriend, for example.

You have a boyfriend. Mike.

Of course, you were probably thinking of Mike. Your boyfriend.

Spencer almost kissed someone in a relationship, and he’s pretty sure you almost kissed him too.

+++

Much to Derek’s chagrin, you and Spencer win the gingerbread house contest.

Penelope was baffled, frantically gesturing to the Jacuzzi she made with icing and- Derek made miniature weights? Somehow? It looked chaotic.

“Practicality, my dear,” Rossi told her. “Who, living in a gingerbread house, is worried about working out?”

Even though you and Spencer were the winners, Derek and Penelope and their pouting (and calls for a rematch) took the attention away from the obvious awkward tension between the winners. Spencer stayed at the desk you worked at while you took your house to the judges, stayed at the desk when you were crowned and stayed at the desk when you cheered.

You looked at him, wide grin and happy eyes, and all he could do was tightly smile back. Give a thumbs up.

He gave you a thumbs up. You nearly kissed less than ten minutes prior. And all he could do was give you a thumbs up.

The light in your eyes dimmed, but you seemed to understand.

Understand what, exactly? Spencer’s not so sure either. But something clicked in your head – you nodded to yourself as if confirming whatever you’ve concluded, and turned your back to him.

That was an hour ago. Now, the team has spread across everyone’s desks. Turns out, Hotch is a big fan of gingerbread - he’s consumed most of Derek and Penelope’s creation, icing and all, while Rossi has decided now is a good time to open one of the many bottles of whiskey he has in his office.

Spencer believes having that much alcohol in your work environment is breaking some kind of rule, but the snow isn’t letting up and it looks like a sleepover in the BAU office is likely. He deserves a little whiskey.

And where are you in all of this?

Spencer won’t lie and pretend he hasn’t had you in his line of sight the entire time, so he’ll recap what you’ve been doing: laughing at Derek’s jokes, plaiting Penelope’s hair, eating the candy Emily and JJ didn’t use on their house.

You’d left the room to call home and check up on things (check up on Mike, Spencer thinks bitterly) and now you stand in front of the large window by the BAU elevators, watching the snow fall.

Spencer has the perfect view of you through the glass doors. When the call ends and you stay there, he grabs a paper plate, grabs one of the walls from yours and his masterpiece and makes his way towards you.

He doesn’t know what he’ll say, or how he’ll even act, but he wants to talk to you. Things feel weird after the almost-kiss, and Spencer never wants things to be weird with you. He can’t have things weird with you. You hadn’t talked to him once since the competition, and he has a feeling you’re waiting for him to make the first move.

So he does. If that’s what you need, he’ll do it.

(He’s making this more dramatic than it needs to be, really, but he feels everything so deeply when it comes to you)

“Hey.”

Spencer’s voice perfectly matches the snowy atmosphere. It makes you feel warm inside, like you’ve just taken a sip of hot cocoa, and so often he’s left goosebumps on your skin just from speaking.

Seeing the outstretched paper plate in his hand, you take it gratefully. “Hi there. Thanks.” You nod to the gingerbread that you begin breaking up.

You hand him the first piece even though he brought it for you, and it’s silent while you both chew thoughtfully and watch the pure white outside. It doesn’t feel weird, necessarily, standing here, shoulder-to-shoulder with you, but you’re certainly more in your head than usual. You’re thinking a lot and, as much as it hurts him, Spencer knows you’re likely preoccupied by your boyfriend and not what transpired between you earlier.

It’s that thought, that disappointment settling into his chest, that opens his mouth unconsciously: “How’s Mike? Does he know you’re not making it home tonight?”

He regrets it immediately, worsened by the way you stop mid-chew, eyes dimming like Spencer’s taken a baseball bat and shattered the lights inside.

This is unchartered territory – talking about Mike with you – and you know it. Who, in their right mind, willingly asks the person they have feelings for how their relationship with someone that isn’t you is going? Does Spencer enjoy pain?

Although this is the first time Spencer’s mentioned Mike to your face (he’s mentioned Mike plenty to a laughing Derek), he’s been so close to presenting the topic many times. He wants to know so badly – wants to know how well Mike treats you, really treats you (he will profile you), if you see a long-term future with him and if not, on average how long does it take you to get over your exes? Just an estimate?

You swallow the gingerbread you’re eating. “He’s okay. My roommate has to take care of him, but at least he’s got someone.”

Huh?

Since when do you have a roommate?

And why is your roommate taking care of your boyfriend?

Oh. Guilt blooms in Spencer when it registers that he’s been thinking ill of a person that might be sick. No wonder you dote on him so much and seemed devastated to make that phone call home earlier - Mike needs you, you can’t be there for him, and you feel horrible for it.

Spencer feels horrible for having the subject of his anger be someone you so clearly cherish, so deeply love. He’s embarrassed that if he was asked to explain why he hates Mike so much, he’d have to tell them it’s because Mike has you, and you’re what Spencer wants. What about what you want?

“Take care of him?” Spencer asks. The concern is genuine, which is an emotion he never thought he’d have in regards to Mike. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh,” You shrug. “He needs someone watching over him at all times, that’s all.”

That’s all?

You continue. “Make sure he eats – and only eats what he’s supposed to. Give him his meds. Make sure he poops. Those kinda things.”

What?

“Your… roommate makes sure your boyfriend poops?”

Now, Spencer knows what you look like when you’re confused. Honestly, he has every facial expression you’ve graced him with tucked away in a proverbial box he spends too much time thinking about. He knows that when you’re trying not to laugh, you bite the inside of your left cheek. When you’re frustrated but need to present a professional front, you bite the inside of your right cheek. Happiness fills your entire face, like every inch is consumed by it, and you’ve trained yourself to transport anger to your hands, where they twist into tight fists and leave fingernail marks in your palms.

Confusion is one of his favourites (second only to joy – for obvious reasons. Have you seen your smile?) because it takes many forms. You’ve pursed your lips, narrowed your eyes, tapped your foot on the floor. When you do them all, Spencer considers it a jackpot. There’s something about the way you look when you’re presented with something you can’t quite figure out yet, when you’re perplexed, that just-

You make it hard for him to concentrate. He can’t be a genius when you’re around because you’re so pretty. You’re a vision and he can never rattle off information to you specifically because he will trip up and divert to talking about the beauty that is you and that would be embarrassing for many reasons.

But this type of confusion? The way you’re looking at him right now? He’s never seen this before. Your jaw has dropped, your brows are furrowed so deeply they might fall off, and you look… horrified.

“My… my boyfriend?”

Spencer mirrors your expression. “Yeah, your boyfriend. Mike?” He looks around, waiting for cameramen to jump out and tell him he’s being pranked, because why don’t you know who your own boyfriend is?

You move slowly, placing the half-eaten plate on the windowsill before turning to face Spencer fully. You take a second to compose yourself.

“Mike is my cat.”

Mike is…

“And he’s having digestive issues, so he needs to be watched pretty much full-time.”

Silence. Tense, weird silence.

“…You thought Mike was my boyfriend?”

Spencer sputters, then, because of course he did! “Yes! The way you talk about him was… it was… it seemed…”

He flustered, oh so flustered, hands flailing and face enflamed and burning from the inside out. How had he not known?! How had… how had your wires gotten so convoluted, so mixed?

Does everyone know that Mike is a cat? Is Spencer the only one out of the loop? The look Emily gave him earlier, that knowing too-smug look, was that…

She was making fun of him. She knew he thought Mike was a person, not a pet, and was teasing him because of it.

All at once, the world seems lighter and dimmer – a contradiction that leaves Spencer’s chest heaving – because the past year feels like a lie. He’s spent so long seeing the way you come to life when talking about Mike, sitting opposite you on the jet as you awaken like a dying flower watered when home got closer and closer, and it was all for… a cat?

There’s a mist over Spencer’s eyes as he recalls every overheard declaration of love and coos of how handsome Mike is, and you’re laughing. Spencer’s having a crisis in front of your very eyes and you’re laughing. Hunched over, a single tear falling from your eye, clutching your stomach because it hurts from the ferocity of your giggles.

By the time you quieten, your hand is over your mouth to cover the big grin that grounds him, gives him something other than this revelation to focus on. Spencer’s still baffled, frazzled, but there’s the tiniest of smiles on his face because of how overjoyed you look. And he did that. Albeit his stupidity did it, but Spencer’s stupidity nonetheless.

You’re out of breath. “God I… I don’t even know what to say. You really thought my cat was my boyfriend?”

Spencer’s fighting a smile, lips wiggling. The way you’re looking at him now, all blinding smile and crinkled eyes, alleviates him of any anxiety he earlier had. Like you’ve wiped away his plate-full of worries, all the times it felt like he took an arrow to the heart, all the times he caught you smiling at your phone because you were looking at pictures of Mike, it’s all worth it. Because you’ve never looked like this while talking about Mike, and Mike is a cat. He isn’t a person, isn’t your boyfriend. Mike is a cat and Spencer has a chance.

Spencer has a chance.

“Does this… this means you’re single, right?”

A somewhat terrified look overtakes his face.

“Oh, shoot, you are single, right?”

You bite your lower lip and nod. “Yes, Spencer. I’m single.”

He lets out a breath. “Good. That’s good. I’m glad.” He repeats your nod, realises what he said could imply, and starts shaking his head. “Not-not good good. You’re incredible and need to be appreciated, but… good, because that means we could, you know…” He gestures vaguely. God, why can’t he get coherent words out? “If you wanted to, we could-“

“Are you trying to ask me out, Spencer?”

“Yes.”

Just to cause immense emotional distress, you raise an eyebrow, mischief clear on your face, and wait for him to continue.

“You want me to actually ask?” He winces.

“I’ve spent the last year convinced you didn’t like me, so, yes, I want you to actually ask.”

The new information sends ice down Spencer’s back because what? Since when? “You- what?“

“I’ve liked you for a while, Spencer,” You cross your arms over your body, slightly embarrassed. “But you always kept your distance so I did too, I guess.”

“I thought you were taken!” Spencer exclaims. “If I’d known I would’ve-we could’ve- I would-“

“You’d what, Reid?” There’s a teasing lilt to your tone, but there’s no denying you’re incandescently happy.

He takes a deep breath and asks what he’s wanted to for far too long. “When this is all over, would you like to go on a date with me, Y/N?”

Relief flashes in your eyes, like you didn’t fully believe what was happening until he finally asked, and words have never sounded as pretty as when you say: “Yes. Yes I would.”

Like lovesick idiots, you stand in front of the window with the snowfall as a backdrop, grinning at each other. You can’t help it – you lean up, press a kiss to his cheek that immediately sets his skin ablaze, and fall back onto your feet with a smile sweeter than all the sugar you’d consumed today.

“Merry Christmas, Spencer.”

Somehow, despite the nerves and the way his heart is trying to leap into your hands, he manages to tell you, “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

+++

(Three weeks later, Spencer meets the Mike. Turns out he’s a nice guy. Spencer takes the first opportunity he can to apologise for all the bad things he said about him behind his back. The purring tells Spencer he’s forgiven)

+++

tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @bitchyreids @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @gublertoon @averyhotchner @prettyboy-reid @shadyladyperfection

[sepublic]

Through the Looking Glass Ruins!!!!!

         …

         SO! Onto other things first…

         WRATH IS BRAXAS’ FATHER!??!!? HOLY SHIT, Wrath is a canonical dad, I’d always expressed my… OH MY GOD WRATH IS DAD! And of BRAXAS, that sweetie… How is Braxas such a sweetie with a father like HIM, also-

         Wrath was in casual wear? Either he has a day off, or he got fired by Belos/Kikimora after drawing Luz a map to Eda in Young Blood, Old Souls! Either way this guy has a sudden new level of NUANCE that I am reeling from, and yes I checked, that really is Wrath according to the credits! Dang this puts everything in a WHOLE new light…!

         AMITY HAIR OHMIGOD IT LOOKS SO ADORABLE SHE’S SELF-ACTUALIZING I AM FUCKING SCREAMING HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, it’s PINK and not green… They acknowledged it, Emira did! And they CHANGED IT I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS-

         She looks so BEAUTIFUL and I love the kind of foreshadowing with the bookends of our first shot of Amity having her hair down, and now it’s changed! And she looks adorable and EMIRA AND EDRIC BEING GREAT SIBLINGS I LOVE IT SO MUCH! This… THIS is everything I wanted! I was resigned to not much of them but HELL YEAH they’re being good siblings and we get a look at their rooms, we see them doing MAKEOVERS together this is everything from my favorite fanon content and MORE,

         Also Edric has a date?! Emira says ‘their’ mom… Unless the Golden Guard has a mom, DARN! Not gonna lie, I half-expected a big twist at the end that Edric was dating the Golden Guard, who was doing some sort of reconnaissance as his unrecognized normal self and/or screwing around with the Blights even further, but in a GENUINE sense… But then who knows Kikimora could be posing as GG’s ‘mom’, this is a stretch anyhow-

         JUST HELL YEAH Blight Twins! Blight Twins being sweet and mischievous and supportive of each other, Blight SIBLINGS being siblings, Emira being an older sister and giving advice! And AMITY, Amity mentioning how much Luz has changed stuff, I love that they acknowledge it openly how her life has completely shifted, and now… NOW…!

         No necklace! Red leggings! PINK HAIR?! Is this why Amity in the intro hasn’t been updated yet… She was getting TWO updates, so the animators decided to only animate a change after this final update?!

         King and Gus are also friends it seems, and they even recorded some fun together! I’m surprised at how much Bria and the others mock Gus’ illusion skills… Obviously Belos is kinda terrible but like; I don’t think he’d set aside an entire subset of magic into Illusions without reason! Also that nightmare trip… I LOVE IT, I love Gus applying the creativity of illusions in their ability to completely warp and distort someone’s sense of reality! And I called that dragon-thing being an illusion!

         A graveyard… I wonder if the Gallderstones (is that how it’s spelled) have any relevance or if they’re just neat? I hope Mattholomule and Gus help hide the Looking Glass Graveyard… Damn, that’s another Death reference with Gus, huh! Is it culminating in his respect for the dead, or will it continue further with Gus being a necromancer, or an Oracle who can commune with the deceased, and he has their respect as someone who treats them properly?!

         Also not to get dark but… What if all those Illusionists are dead because of Belos? I’m JUST SAYING…! And not gonna lie, every time someone insulted Illusions, I kept imagining the Illusion Head just suddenly waking up and feeling like there’s a disturbance in the force, as well as a weird compulsion to beat up some Glandus kids. It’d be even funnier if he had beef with the Construction, Plant, and Abomination Heads as well!

         Speaking of which, more confirmation on Construction Magic being related to earth! Glad to see Bria give us a look into that, which furthers my idea of Belos using construction magic… Also dang, Bria and the Glandus Kids really are the parallels/foils to the Detention kids! You’ve got the short ‘nice’ girl, the tall lanky kid, the furry… But the Glandus Kids start off looking nice and cool, but turn out to be rather nasty!

         Meanwhile the Detention Kids seem like bad news and delinquents, but no! They’re just demonized and actually very kind and chill! The Detention Kids are looked down upon, the Glandus Kids are appraised… The Detention Kids are dual-track, the Glandus Kids are singular; Glandus Kids from, well, GLANDUS, Detention Kids from Hexside… One’s ‘mischief’ is actually very neat and cool, the other’s is literal grave robbing.

         I guess that’s how the bleeding statues got past the censors- It’s technically just an illusion! Also more insight into how Glandus works with its Survival of the Fittest mentality, I wonder if we’ll get confirmation on which coven heads came from there, how that might influence them as adults…

         What is Glandus like, is it more whole-heartedly accepting of Belos’ rule, hence its harsh ideals? Was it made after Hexside? Does Bump hate it for being so cruel like that, or is it just school bias? And dang poor Mattholomule, I always had a feeling he sort of felt and knew that he wasn’t much, so he accepted and compensated by deliberately doing whatever he can for power…

         They confirmed he’s from Glandus, and I appreciate this new look at him! This new leaf turned… Hot take but he’s honestly not as bad as Boscha, his stint with Gus was a one-time thing that Gus was able to live with! And that seems pretty good to set them up as friends! Speaking of Boscha, Willow was injured by pixies? And the last time we heard of pixies, they belonged to Boscha and caused the school to get shut down… Did BOSCHA DO THIS I SWEAR SHE IS DEAD TO ME-

         (Also she’s mentioned in the credits for this episode but I don’t remember hearing her? I might’ve gotten distracted with so much other things.)

         Gus! I like the insight into his relationship with Illusions, and I appreciate how he’s considering other forms of magic… But this hesitation might just serve to reaffirm his believe in Illusions, which is okay! It’s all about choice… And yeah, it seems Gus also has a case of impostor syndrome like King, no wonder they get along so well! I love the glimpses into Gus’ house and the confirmation that he has a library card, no Perry though alas…!

         I appreciate how Gus feels overlooked, like he has no real substance, which is how his Illusions reflect a desire to draw attention, but also the idea that there’s nothing real beneath them… Again, very much like King! And Gus, he’s not a powerhouse like the rest, he’s SKILLED and smart, but strength isn’t his forte, it’s not brute force he operates on, but cleverness! Trickery, I like it…! It’s a nice callback to his last A-plot episode, SVSF, where instead of fighting Mattholomule physically, Gus’ solution is to think outside the box and pull the alarm!

         You go kid, not relying on brute strength but showing that some clever tricks and thinking are just as valid! Kinda wonder if this episode is lowkey a discussion on masculinity for young boys, especially with Gus growing older with puberty, though the latter is mostly because his actual VA grew… But maybe the writers rolled with that and incorporated it, or it’s just a very neat coincidence! Also, it is me or did Mattholomule’s voice change? And the gag that Gavin’s dad looks identical to him, even moreso because he’s NOT supposed to have a moustache… That’s great!

         Malphas! Love this reference to a classic demon, I wasn’t sure if Malphas was the librarian with glasses whom I’ve always headcanoned as a father figure to Amity… But maybe it’s actually this bird dude! He seems adept in Bard magic, and I love the reveal of his true crow appearance… Guess those theorists were right that the one-eyed figure is from the Forbidden Stacks! Also Malphas NOT COOL with Amity, but I’m glad Luz changed his mind, and I wonder how that adventure looked…

         Which- DAMN, the RSD with Luz! She looks so UTTERLY BROKEN when Amity mentions doing stupid things, and she didn’t mean it like that, but Luz just looks so completely shattered and you can tell she wants to cry but instead she bottles it up and tries to take it in stride, and that plays into her trying to overcompensate for her mistakes AGAIN… SOMEONE GET IT TO HER HEAD that she doesn’t need to! I’m scared for Luz, and I was SO scared this episode would end on a bad note…

         BUT DOAHLDdFAEONDKFHN LUMITY KISS LUMITY KISS! ONE-SIDED BUT THEY FINALLY FUCKING KNOW AND AMITY IS LIKE WHAAAAT AND I WAS WAITING FOR IT AND I COULD FEEL IT HAPPEN AND GAY KISS! GAY KISS ON-SCREEN!!! And the way Luz just FLOPS to the ground on her knees AAHJJFFKHGGK and no Alador nor Odalia to ruin this, UTTERLY PERFECT and the twins WATCHING OOOHHHHGGGG YYYEEAAAAHHH-

         This is EVERYTHING I ever wanted!

         What an AMAZING episode with wonderful characer beats and reveals! Again, Amity’s growth as a character, that brief insight into how Luz as a person is very chaotic and sometimes frustrating for Amity and forces her to reevaluate, but ultimately it’s good and Luz DOES try her best, and Amity clearly wanted to make things up for Luz and apologize, they’re BOTH doing things, just the little moments!

         Also, Alex Lawther voices Philip Wittebane! He has long hair and a vaguely british accent, he’s… He’s Belos isn’t he? And they got a new VA because having him voiced by Matthew Rhys would be really spoiler-y right? He’s got the long hair and he’s a nerd… And with how he talks of finding a way back home, maybe Belos really DOES just want to return home, after all? He talks of making a way back home…

         And we see a glimpse of the Portal, so it might’ve brought him there? Or did Philip succeed in making it, and that was his blueprint designs? Did he arrive by Titan’s Blood? What happened to the portal if it brought him there, or if he made it? Why the scar, why near Eda’s house, partially buried?

         Was it lost before he could finish his work, and Philip got side-tracked into something else… Perhaps going on a crusade, on behalf of a curse/demon that possessed him? A demon that killed King’s father…? Was the portal broken and he had to discard it, but then it naturally healed- Or did it just need to recharge, maybe Philip DID make it back home, WHAT IS THE ANSWER?! Is there some sort of doppelganger for Philip, is BELOS his doppelganger?! What is THIS WHAT-

         WHAT AN EPISODE!

[darthkruge]

Okay okay okay so imagine Reader is abducted by the separatists because she ( or nb reader ) is a very well loved member of the senate. So obviously Anakin goes to save her, but his idiot plan gets him captured as well so then it's up to Reader to talk her way out of this mess, get to her idiot boyfriend, free him and then both of them try to make it out alive. Bonus points for Obi-Wan looking very tired and sick of Anakin's ideas in the background. What do you think?

Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader ~ Rescue Operations?

Summary: After the Reader is captured by the Separatists, Anakin rushes to save her. When this doesn’t work out, the Reader has to get her and her boyfriend out of this mess. 

Warnings: Language, whump, one scene where the Reader gets beat up, Reader is a badass, Anakin is completely in love with his badass girlfriend and we love that for him

Words: 3.8k

A/N: Catherine, my love!! I’m sorry this took me so long, I have nothing to say for myself other than my poor organization skills. But I’m obsessed with this request, I hope I did it justice <3

gif credit (x)

You groaned as you opened your eyes and attempted to shake the drowsiness that seemed to cling to your very bones. You blinked, trying to get your bearings and remember what had happened. You were preparing for your speech at the Senate, trying to pass a peace treaty between the Republic and some smaller territories that were debating joining the fight against the Separatists. You’d been fighting for support for the treaty for months and you finally had the chance to give one last speech before the vote. 

You’d been pacing in your Coruscant apartment, practicing the speech for your boyfriend a million times. After you finished your recitation, you exited the room, needing to get your notes that you’d seemed to misplace. So you went into your office and… nothing.

Why couldn’t you remember after that?! You opened the door to your office, walked inside, and… 

You sighed as you came back to the present, leaning against the wall behind you and looking around. You were clearly in a cell of some sort and the Separatists were almost certainly behind this. You were still in your Senate attire, although it had been thoroughly scuffed up, and they’d taken your datapad and other communication devices. You felt around your boot and smiled. Your knife was still there. They must have assumed you wouldn’t be carrying a weapon to your speech and not done a thorough enough check. Whatever the reason, you were thanking the Maker it was still there. 

Back in Coruscant, Anakin was walking the Temple halls in a crazed state. When you didn’t show up for your speech, he immediately panicked. He knew how important this treaty was for you and the entire Republic; you’d been going over it for forever and there is no way you’d just blow it off without telling anyone. The rest of the Senate was also concerned. You’d grown up in one of the poorer districts and, thus, had a sense of relatability and humility that most were drawn to. Whether or not they agreed with your policies, almost everyone could understand that you always kept the interest of the people at the forefront of your mind. 

When Obi-Wan walked up to him with a ripped piece of your clothes and your scattered and crumpled notes, Anakin felt his heart drop. 

“It was the Separatists. They must have knocked her out in her office and escaped through the vents.”

Upon seeing his absolutely heartbroken expression, Obi-Wan added, “We’ll get her back, Anakin. I promise.”

Anakin could only nod, ideas for a plan to save you already running round his head. 

You’d been in this kriffing cell for four days now. Or maybe it was five? You were desperately trying to keep your wits about you but it was so hard; they brought you a tiny ration of food and water once a day and it was not near enough to keep your strength up. You’d spent your time trying to carve your way through the bars but your knife was no match and you quickly gave up, not wanting to dull the blade. You’d found a loose brick hidden around the floor and used the knife to cut it out, allowing you to hide your weapon under it on the off chance they searched you again. 

You tried to think of a plan to escape but they hadn’t even opened your door yet. There was no way you could get out by yourself and, until someone came in that you could attack, it was pointless to even try. They kept you in complete darkness and silence, no way to tell how much time had passed aside from the daily rations. You assumed you were on a Separatist base but that proved unhelpful; they were widespread and the cell held no defining features of climate or location. You had tried calling out to see if anyone else was around. Each time, you were met with your own echo. 

You stilled, hearing footsteps approach you. A Separatist guard opened your cell door, roughly pulling you out. You yelped, legs not cooperating after so long of sitting in the cramped cell. He led you into another room that was barely brighter than your own. Sizing up the guard, you felt fear creep in. No matter how hard you tried to banish your anxieties, knowing they’d only serve to lessen your already shaken focus, it was sometimes impossible. 

“Tell us which planets are deserting.” He commanded.

You met his stare evenly, refusing to let your fear betray you. There was absolutely no chance you’d tell him anything. As soon as the Separatists learned which planets were thinking about joining the Republic, they’d send armies to wipe them out immediately. You refused to let that happen.

“Fine. Be that way.” The man pulled his fist back and sent it into your cheek, the impact sending sparks of pain throughout your entire body. He brought his foot up, kicking you in the gut and you fell harshly onto the floor. He grabbed you by your hair, hoisting up your body as if it were a ragdoll. You gathered your strength and spit in his face, enjoying the way his smug look disappeared. In retaliation, he slammed you into the wall, the impact making stars cloud your vision. 

The man released you and you fell, your consciousness already starting to detach from your body. You tried to reason with yourself, hoping logic would aid you. This is a trauma response. I’m not going to die. My body can take this. I will black out, but I will wake up again. They’re not going to kill me. They need me alive. I’m not going to die. I’m not going to die. Somehow, the hardest part is this was banishing the thoughts of that beautiful boy from your head. You knew that if you allowed yourself to think of him, to fathom how he would blame himself should this be your end, you would give in. 

Instead, you focussed on the physical pain you felt, on the rage you channeled to this guard. You hated how weak you felt, how exhausted you were. You allowed your mind to hone in on all the ways you could hurt this man, given you had your full strength. You let yourself hate yourself, appalled at how you couldn’t even fight back. With every punch he threw at you, you went further into your head, into the one place this man couldn’t touch. Eventually, your mind started spinning from dehydration, pain, and overexertion. All you could do was curl into a fetal position and hope it somehow stopped. 

“What do you mean you’re going to find her?” Obi-Wan said, running after Anakin.

“It’s been days, Obi-Wan, days. There are only so many Separatist bases in the galaxy and Y/N’s on one of them.”

“Anakin, don’t you think they’ve planned for a rescue mission?! This is Senator L/N we’re talking about! And they took her right before the vote, this was clearly a thought-out attack, stop acting like it’s simple!”

“It is simple! Those Separatist assholes have Y/N. And it’s been days. What if she thinks we forgot about her? What if she thinks we’ve given up? They could be doing fucking anything to her and I’m not going to let her stay there for another minute!”

“Anakin-” Obi-Wan began but Anakin waved him off.

“I’m sorry, Master. But if the Council won’t do anything, I will.”

“Anakin, the Council is trying! They just don’t have enough troops right now to send a full rescue mission after one Senator. They just want a few more days, then some troops should be back from their missions and you can have your full battalion.” Obi-Wan took a breath and lowered his voice, empathy for his friend clear in his words. “I know you love her. I want her back, too, you know. I’ve grown quite fond of her; her friendship is quite dear to me. All I’m asking is you be careful and think this through.”

“Believe me, I have thought this through. I wouldn’t do anything to put her in danger, we both know that. And while a few days doesn’t seem like much to the Council, we’ve seen the harm these Separatists can inflict in far less. Listen, it might not be the strongest plan I’ve ever made but, if it’s between a semi-formed plan and none at all, the choice is already made.”

With that, Anakin jumped into his ship and took off into the night. Obi-Wan sighed, leaning his head into his palm. He knew how much you meant to him and he knew of Anakin’s frustration with the Council. They moved slowly, wanting to figure out every angle before jumping into a decision. While Anakin was a brilliant strategist, he tended to act impulsively when someone he loved was in danger. As Anakin traveled further and further from Coruscant, the older Jedi could only hope that the both of you returned home quickly and safely. 

Anakin looked at his ship’s display and cursed when he realized he was low on fuel. He’d been piloting for hours and there was still no sign of you. He was searching out for you with the Force and, still, nothing. Finally, he felt a faint energy pulse through the Force. He followed it to what was supposed to be an old abandoned Separatist base, concerned by how weak your lifeforce felt. 

He parked the ship and got out carefully, trying not to alert anyone to his presence. He pulled out his lightsaber but was careful not to ignite it. He saw an open door and ran through it, relief blinding him as he felt your energy grow stronger with each step he took. He turned the corner and saw a crumpled body on the floor of a tiny cell.

No, Anakin thought, it can’t be her. 

Without thinking, Anakin ignited his lightsaber, wanting to use the light to discern if the figure was truly you. The noise bounced off the walls and startled you awake. He mentally cursed himself and instinctively turned off the saber, not missing the even louder noise it made with it turned off. He inwardly facepalmed, realizing if he hadn’t alerted the guards before, they sure as hell knew now. 

You blinked groggily, wincing at your immense injuries and bruises. You remembered passing out while that asshole beat you and now you-

Wait, You thought, is that a fucking lightsaber?

You knew you must have heard it wrong, there’s no way the Council would have approved a relief mission this quickly. Further, there is no way it would consist of just one Jedi. 

Suddenly, the lightsaber re-lit, illuminating your boyfriend’s face. His determined expression grew stronger as he noticed the 10 guards surrounding him and pointing their blasters directly at his head. You smiled. He could take out ten guards with his eyes closed. You called to him in shock, hardly believing your eyes. He looked at you and immediately widened his eyes as he saw a guard come up behind you and point a blaster directly at you from outside your cell. 

“Lightsaber on the floor, Jedi, or the girl dies.” The guard growled. 

He looked at you in anguish and you could tell he was already beating himself up for “messing up” your escape plan. You shook your head, hoping he understood your message: this isn’t your fault. 

“Anakin don’t-” You couldn’t even finish the sentence before his weapon was on the floor. He put his hands on his head. As they grabbed him, you stood in helpless silence as they threw him in the cell beside you. They locked the doors and, once again, you were in darkness. 

You desperately crawled to the edge of your cell, trying to reach out to him. He was doing the same and when you felt his fingertips against yours, you almost started sobbing. You weren’t alone anymore.

“You came for me.” Your voice was soft, disbelief lacing your words. 

“Of course I did, my love.”

Then, as if everything finally registered in your brain, you reached out and tried to slap his arm. “Anakin, what about the Council? They’ll kill you when they realize you went on a rescue mission, alone, and without approval! Ani, the only thing keeping me going in here was knowing that you were safe! And now you’ve gotten yourself thrown right next to me, no weapons, no light, no food, no water, no escape! What the fuck are we going to do?!”

Anakin had opened and closed his mouth multiple times throughout your speech, trying to find a way to plead his case but was left without one. 

“I just wanted to save you.” The grief in his voice made you sigh and take a step back. This was your Anakin you were talking about. Your safety was his priority, always. Besides, doing all this because he was afraid for you? You couldn’t possibly stay mad. You smiled, despite yourself. Anakin. You thought, slightly shaking your head. 

“Fuck, I love you. Is it selfish that there’s a small part of me that’s glad you’re here with me?” You said, breaking the silence. 

Anakin breathed out a sigh of relief, glad you weren’t upset with him anymore. “Not at all, my love. So long as it isn’t bad that my least favorite part of this is not being able to see or kiss you properly because of this damn darkness.”

You chuckled, lacing your fingers with his once again. “You wouldn’t want to see me right now.”

Anakin froze. “Y/N? What are you talking about?” His voice was serious, clipped. He knew you would try and make it seem less than it was. You winced, realizing there was no way to lie your way out of this one.

“Just what the Separatists would call aggressive negotiations, I presume.”

“How bad?”

“It’s fine, Ani, I promise. Let’s just focus on getting out of here, okay?”

Anakin took a deep breath, collecting himself. “Alright. But as soon as we get back you’re going to a medical droid.”

You groaned. “Anakin I hate-”

“I know you hate the medical droids. But that’s only because they always rat you out when you try and lie to me about the extensiveness of your injuries.”

“You lie about how bad your injuries are, too! Remember that one time you came back from Kamino?!”

Anakin laughed, despite himself. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“You were literally bleeding from the head! And you said, and I quote, ‘it’s just a scratch’” Every time you thought back to that day, you were incredulous. 

“Alright, alright! Let’s just focus on getting out of here.”

“That’s my line!”

“Y/N,” He warned.

You smiled. Maker, you missed him. You honestly didn’t think that anyone else would have you laughing while you were beaten and captured. 

“Okay. What’s the plan?” Anakin said, back to the matter at hand.

You lowered your voice, leaning toward his cell so you could talk without being heard. “I snuck a knife in with me and I’ve been able to keep it a secret. Now that you’re here, it might actually come in handy. The problem was that I couldn’t stab anyone because no one would come into the cell. I need you to get them here. Push them against the side of your cell, the one closest to me, and I’ll stab them. Then while they’re hurt, you run out, unlatch my cell, and we’ll go.”

“I’m dating a fucking genius!” You could just about hear the smile in his voice. 

You smirked. All things considered, you were pretty proud of yourself. 

“When do you want to do this?”

“They bring daily food and water rations in the morning, I think? I can’t exactly tell what time it is, they’ve kept it so dark and isolated. Regardless, the next time they come by I need you to get them in here. They normally just leave the food outside and push it under the door.”

Anakin could hear the disorientation in your words and wanted nothing more than to be able to see you, to be able to hold you and reassure you that it would all be alright. 

“Okay, angel. Got it.”

“Anakin?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming to get me. It’s really good to hear your voice.”

“Always, my love.”

Both of you silenced when you heard those footsteps. You smiled for the first time as you heard them. We’re going to get out of here.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, Y/N! This brick in here is loose!” Anakin announced loudly. You bit your cheek to suppress a smile as you watched Anakin catch the guard’s attention.

“What did you say, Jedi?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Anakin responded, dramatically feigning innocence. 

The guard huffed and you internally cheered as he roughly opened the door. He walked over to your boyfriend, keeping the blaster pointed at him. As soon as the guard’s attention shifted to the “loose” brick, Anakin used the force to knock the blaster out of his hand and push him against the wall of the cell where you slashed his Achilles tendons. 

The guard howled in pain and you knew you had to work quickly if you were to get out of here before the rest of the Separatists found you. Anakin fumbled with the latch on your cell, the immense darkness making it difficult. Finally, he got it open and ushered you out. The both of you took off in a run and he gripped your hand with his metal one as you did so. 

You immediately stopped as you felt his hand roughly pulled from yours. 

“We’ve got you now, Skywalker” The guard said.

“Y/N, you ready?”

You blinked, unsure what he was referring to. Then, you heard an object whipping through the air and on instinct shot your hand out, catching it. You ignited Anakin’s lightsaber that he had summoned to you with the Force, it’s signature buzz making you feel powerful beyond words. 

The light caught you off guard and you squinted until your eyes adjusted. You saw Anakin held back by two guards. Hearing faint footsteps, you took off in a run. Anakin ducked as you swung wildly, hitting and taking out both guards.

“You done holding us up?” You said, extending your hand toward him once more and passing him his lightsaber. 

Anakin smiled, accepting it. “My sincerest apologies.” 

You both ran, hand-in-hand, until you finally made it to the exit.

“What?” You said, as Anakin stopped abruptly and looked at you, panicked. 

“The ship! It’s out of fuel!”

“It’s what?!”

“I-” Anakin and you stared at each other, flickers of doubt coming into your gaze. You can’t believe that you’d been able to escape for nothing. 

“Anakin! Y/N!”

You whipped your head around at the sound and were met with another ship a few meters down, Obi-Wan piloting it.

“Well? Are you coming, or what?” You and Anakin looked at each other in shock before taking off in a sprint, one guard now close behind you. 

He started shooting and Anakin pulled out his lightsaber, deflecting some of the shots. As he focused on that, you pulled your knife back out of your boot and sent it flying into the guard’s chest, effectively stopping his pursuit. 

Anakin smirked at you, awestruck. You shrugged before jumping into the ship, extending your arm to Anakin and helping to pull him up with you. You entered and immediately leaned against the wall of the ship, relief coursing through you. You laughed and Anakin joined in. He immediately pulled you into him, kissing you hard. 

He broke away from the kiss, looking at you with adoration. “You are a fucking badass!! You’ve never even held a lightsaber and between that and your fucking tiny knife you took out four guards!! I didn’t even get any! I’m not going to lie, Y/N, I’m a bit jealous.”

You laughed, leaning into him but wincing. As the adrenaline wore off, your pain was suddenly quite palpable. He noticed and pulled back, scanning your face and body. 

His smile fell as the extent of your injuries sunk in. Your busted cheek, scratched face, and ripped clothing that exposed some of your many bruises across your torso and limbs were overwhelming. 

“You kids alright in there?” Obi-Wan said, walking in from the cockpit. His smile died on his face as well as he took in your form.

“I’m alright, guys. It’s not as bad as it looks.” You said dismissively.

“That doesn’t look like nothing!” Anakin shot back. 

Obi-Wan looked at you apologetically. “Anakin’s right, Y/N. Please, rest. We’ll be back to Coruscant soon.” 

Coruscant! The Senate! “My speech!! Fuck, I had to present my speech! I’ve been gone, what, a week? They’ve probably already voted, Kriff.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “They decided to suspend the vote until you were back, Senator. They truly care for you and your policies.”

Your heart swelled at Obi-Wan’s words. You looked into Anakin’s eyes and saw that he agreed with the statement full heartedly. He took your hand and gently ran his thumb up and down its back. 

“Rest, my love.” He whispered to you, coaxing you to lie down on the coach and pulling off his Jedi cloak. He wrapped it around you as a makeshift blanket, smiling as you pulled it closer to you and drifted off. 

Obi-Wan walked up to Anakin and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s leave her be, okay?”

“I don’t want her to wake up when I’m not here.”

The elder Jedi nodded in understanding. “She’s exhausted, she won’t awaken until we get back to the temple, I assure you. And if she does, you’ll just be in the other room.”

Anakin looked at you once more before smoothing the hair back from your face and gently placing a kiss on your forehead. He let his palm run down your cheek before he finally pulled himself away and walked into the cockpit with Obi-Wan. 

“So, how did you plan pan out?”

Anakin looked at his former Master, unamused. “I think you already know. How’d you know to come get us, anyway?”

“Well, when you didn’t come back or even attempt to contact the Council for over a day I assumed something had happened. I tracked your ship.”

Anakin nodded. “If not for Y/N, we’d probably both be dead.”

Obi-Wan laughed. “I heard! Four guards?! You’ve found yourself a good one.”

Anakin smiled. No words were needed, everyone knew that was completely and utterly true.

------

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[astridthevalkyrie]

summer rain: chapter 1

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. 

Chapter 2

Read on FF.net or AO3.

Helloooo, beautiful people. I’m so excited about this story! This is now the official first part of the series, so it’s a prequel to the three oneshots I’ve already posted. If you haven’t read them, no worries, you can read this just fine. If you want to, just know they all have an established relationship and will reference the past, so you may possibly get spoiled. 

I plan for this to have five or so chapters, so buckle up, and as always, happy reading!

You’ve been expecting more.

Maybe that’s the wrong perspective to have. It’s still the military, and it’s still your first day and sure, that’s exciting and all, but you’ve heard stories. People always describe their first day of training as absolutely terrifying, but life-changing. They say that the first day is the day all the baby-faced cadets realize they’re in over their heads. It’s an introduction to the rest of their lives. At least, that’s the case for the people who stay. If one can’t handle a verbal beating, how can they stand any chance against the titans? The first day changes everything.

This, however, isn’t life-changing. It’s not terrifying. It’s rather...dull.

To be fair, the man in front doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it either.

You’ve heard of him, of course you have. Even back within Sina, people talk. A newcomer, a gift from the walls, humanity’s savior. Recently joined the Survey Corp and yet already a lieutenant, a definite shoe-in for the next available section commander position. Apparently his origins are a bit of a mystery, but he’s either the long lost son of a rich merchant or he’s come from outside the walls themselves because it’s just impossible that any common person can possess the skills he’s rumored to have. You’re not sure you believe all of it - apparently he’s so fast that the titans can’t even see him coming? yeah, sure - and yet there’s just something about him that gives off a truly well-earned confident aura. That’s been the most exciting part so far, the chance to see him up close, to see that he’s actually real.

Still, since he began talking, Lieutenant Levi hasn’t once raised his voice. He hasn’t screamed at them all for being the weakest pieces of shit he’s ever seen. He hasn’t even told them about how they’re going to train to become snacks for the titans. It’s disappointing. You’ve been ready to stand your ground, to show you’re made of some tough stuff. That can’t happen when your trainer won’t even bother to strike fear into your heart. Where other people may be relieved, you are mourning this loss of the traditional military experience.

At the very least, he’s not the actual trainer. He started his speech with a complaint that their actual instructor was sick for the day so now he had the absolute pleasure to welcome dozens of new fucking brats to their new home and occupation. His words drip with venom and boredom - clearly, he didn’t join to do any of this. It’s beneath him. All in all, Lieutenant Levi seems rather...arrogant. Maybe it’s well-deserved. But you don’t have to like it.

As he walks up to people at random who shout out their bare identities, the lieutenant snaps out comments that seem like they’re meant to bully rather than to frighten.

“Your posture is shit.”

“Oh wow, I bet the titans will be real scared of your noodle arms.”

“And here I thought these villages would send their best and brightest. Instead they sent you.”

But you’re not one to let things get to you so easily. You have your fist balled to your chest proudly, ready to serve humanity. You’ve fought to get where you are, and now you’re really, actually standing here, with your new comrades besides you, and you couldn’t be more proud. A bright smile settles on your face. You will make the best out of this, no matter your humanity-saving trainer’s dour mood. 

Unfortunately, said humanity-saving trainer takes notice of your smile, and with his gaze locked on his new target, he walks up to you, eyes narrowed in irritation.

“What’s your deal?”

You straighten your back, snap to attention, and look directly ahead as you know is appropriate. “Cadet (F/N) (L/N), sir, from Stohess District!”

His expression doesn’t throw you off, despite it looking like he’s never been so irritated in his life. You know you haven’t done anything wrong (at least not yet), so him looking that pissed off must be an internal issue, nothing to do with you. You’re not any different than any of the other cadets that have introduced themselves.

“Cadet (F/N) (L/N),” he says as though he’s testing out a brand new curse word, with just a hint of mockery in his voice. “I didn’t ask for your name or where you were from. I asked what your deal was.”

Well what in the holy hells is that supposed to mean?

Is what you want to say, but instead you simply furrow your brows and ask curly. “Sir?”

“What the fuck are you so happy about?” he clarifies, annoyance displayed clearly on his face.

Well damn, no need to be so edgy. You aren’t necessarily required to be as serious as everyone else here, and smiling isn’t a crime last time you checked. But this is obviously Lieutenant Levi’s thing, to be snarky and mean, and the sooner you answer, the sooner he’ll move on and find a new victim. “Just happy to be here, sir.”

Your smile stays right where it is.

“Oh, is that it?” He stares at you, deadpan. “You like the thought of being eaten? Does the idea just make your day? Do you fantasize about it at night? Let it lull you to sleep?”

Your smile grows a little strained.

Passion aggression is nothing new. You grew up in Stohess, you’re used to your fair share of cattiness. The lieutenant must take lessons from the tea-sipping high class ladies you’d basically grown up with, because he reminds you of them vividly. Ironic, considering you thought the military would be an escape to a life that was real and included less passive bullshit. It’s that frustration at the similarity that makes your polite mask crack.

The response slips through your lips before you can stop yourself. “No, sir, but last night I did happen to dream of a trainer that was tough enough to handle one of his subordinates smiling.”

You can be catty too. 

The grounds become more silent than they already were. It’s as though everyone is suddenly holding their breath at this new confrontation, just waiting to see what the newly dubbed hope of humanity will do if someone matches his sass. The loud silence is what finally makes you just a smidge nervous - surely, they won’t kick you out on your very first day just because of a smart comment, right?

Impatient and a bit anxious, you finally allow yourself to look directly in his eyes, and you’re suddenly stricken by how grey they are. You don’t think you’ve ever met anyone with grey eyes. They’re damn gorgeous. And there’s a hint of...something in them, and to your surprise it’s not rage. He looks calculatingly gleeful, as though he’s just been waiting for someone to say something back to him. He appears cruel and delighted all at once, and the contrast of it along with the striking silver hue is more personality than you’ve ever seen in someone’s eyes before.

It’s a breathtaking sight. You move in just a millionth of a centimeter to get a closer look -

And then he moves, lightning fast, reeling back and swinging his leg around to sweep your legs from under you. With a gasp, you hit the ground hard, head ringing and vision blurring for a few seconds. Your hair, which was loose around your shoulders, flies across your face, some of it entering your mouth. From above you, grey eyes are triumphant, looking down on you as though to ask whether or not that’s tough enough for you. You’d love to answer, but your head is throbbing and you can only let out a pathetic, confused noise that causes titters to spread throughout the room.

What the hell just happened?

You move to get up, but he’s quicker, slamming his foot down on your leg and holding you right where you are. For someone with such a short stature, he looks pretty damn tall from down here. Maybe this is the sight that the titans barely get to see before he slices through them. 

Everyone is watching, even if they’re not turning their hands. This is their entertainment today, and the fool has just made its move. The fool being you, of course. They’re all hungry to see how this will play out.

Your cheeks glow bright with embarrassment, but you are not going to waver. Not on the first day. This is what you wanted, right? You wanted someone who’d be a hardass, who’d strike fear in you and make this a day you’d never forget. Well, Lieutenant Levi is your wish come true.

“Please remove your foot, sir,” you muster as politely as you can, looking up at him icily.

He digs the heel of his shoe into your thigh to make a point, and maybe to see if you’ll cry out in pain. But you look him in his strange grey eyes and you only blink, a small smile returning to your face. Will he kick someone who’s already down?

The moment seems to last forever, and you briefly entertain the fantasy that time is freezing for him as much as it is for you.

And then it’s all broken - he takes his foot off and walks right by you, and the only words you’re spared after being humiliated are, “Tie your hair up, you look ridiculous.”

Thus goes your first meeting with Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

____________________

Dinner that night is filled with chatter. It seems people have found their loyal companions pretty fast, and cliques are forming faster than a speeding bullet. 

Luckily, you don’t need to worry about making friends. Besides the fact that you’re charming and perfect (according to everyone else and definitely not just you), you joined the military with your best friend from childhood. Millie Shackel is every bit the Stohess lady you are, the Rose to your Maria, the jelly to your butter. It’s amazing how much two girls can bond over a shared hate for the lack of activity happening within their stuffy town.

You gnaw at the bread on your plate, squeezing your eyes shut in pain after a particularly hard bite makes the back of your head throb. Not for the first time, you place your hand gingerly on the back of your skull, confirming that there’s no blood pouring out.

“Shouldn’t have mouthed off,” Millie quips from across the table, looking at you amusedly.

“Thanks,” you mutter bitterly, abandoning the bread for now until the soreness goes away. “Didn’t think one stupid comment was going to make him go berserk on me.”

She laughs, confirming you sound every bit as stupid as you feel. “I don’t think that classifies as berserk. That was a superior putting you in your place.”

“Suck-up,” you accuse, eyes narrowed. She only rolls her eyes, and you bring the cup of water to your lips and begin simply guzzling it down when someone claps you on the back, making you choke.

You turn to glare, still coughing up water, at two guys behind you. The one who nearly killed you is tall, with hair the color of bananas, and he’s grinning with no regrets, the shameful bastard. The other one behind him looks apologetic, red-haired with pretty green eyes. He whacks his friend on the arm. “You idiot, you nearly sent her to the infirmary!”

“Oh, come on.” The tall guy slides next to you without permission, slinging an arm around you as though you’re the closest of chums. Back in Stohess, you’d have called for his execution or some shit. “Surely the girl who talked back to Lieutenant Levi can handle some water going down the wrong way.”

Millie does not look pleased at the intruder, and looks even more grouchy when his friend sits down next to her, albeit keeping a much more respectful distance. When you finally stop coughing violently, you shove the guy’s arm away.

“A-asshole, what the hell’s your problem?” 

“There’s no problem, kid.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “I just wanted to see the balls on you. Guess it was overexaggerated.”

“Obviously,” you snap, “I just talked back, I didn’t hop over the wall and kill a titan.”

“Regardless, good job with the way you handled it. The others are talking about you.”

Millie gives you a stern look. “Hear that? Now we’re the troublemakers.”

You shrug apologetically, and decide to take another crack at eating your bread. This time, it goes down easier, with only a light sting to remind you of the lieutenant’s cruelty. 

“I’m Stephen,” the redhead says with a shy smile, extending his hand. You shake it, then turn your gaze questioningly to the one next to you. He grins cockily, waiting for you to ask. You don’t.

“This is Ricky.” Stephen spoils his fun, sounding exasperated. 

“I assume you two are close.” Millie wrinkles her nose distastefully. You bite back a laugh - there’s that Stohess bitchiness that you love about her.

“We met this morning,” Ricky responds, and you can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

The two of you warm up to the boys soon enough. Ricky is rather friendly when he’s not trying to steal your food thinking you won’t notice, and Stephen is downright sweet, his emerald eyes brightening when you ask him where he’s from. He goes off on a ramble about his village which is somewhere smack dab in the middle of the land within Wall Rose. Apparently their local stew is the best there is. You privately disagree; nothing quite tastes like the stew they make in the Orvud District, least of all this bland loaf of bread in your hand.

Ricky, on the other hand, is from Shiganshina, which is apparently an outer city of Wall Maria (so the two boys really had just met that morning). 

“So, I’m guessing it’s the MP for you two?” Ricky says. Millie looks offended.

“That’s not right for you to assume!” She deflates a little. “But yes, it is.”

“Hey.” You shoot her a scowl. “It’s the MP for you. I don’t have any intention of hurrying back to precious Sina.”

Millie gazes at you with her we’ll talk about this later look like she has every time you’ve brought up that you have no intention of returning to fucking Stohess where nothing ever happens. Before she can say anything, Ricky ruffles your hair fondly. 

“Should’ve known you were made of tougher shit than that. So what, you like playing hero?”

You shrug. “No, I just have a sob story. Dead old Dad was a Scout, and then he was titan chowder.”

Stephen looks disturbed at how bluntly you say it, and even Ricky is a bit thrown off. You chuckle at their expressions, waving a hand nonchalantly. “It’s fine, it happened a while ago. I barely remember him. But you know, what better way to connect with your dead dad than to align yourself with the people who let him die, right?”

Ricky’s mouth hangs open as Millie snorts. “You can laugh, she’s making a joke. Get used to her sense of humor, it’s always this bad.”

“I resent that.”

“So you don’t care about getting into the top ten?” Stephen asks carefully - scoping out the competition, you realize.

“Couldn’t give less of a shit,” you answer coolly, “but Millie obviously does.”

“I’ll get into the top ten, it’s not about that.” Millie says confidently, shaking her head as though it’s ridiculous to even imagine that she wouldn’t. After all, you two were raised to be perfect. “The real goal is to be first.”

Ignoring the madly ambitious look in her eyes, you focus on Stephen. “So what is it for you? The Scouts?”

He winces bashfully. “I’m...undecided.”

You laugh out loud, a bit meanly. “What, undecided like you’re going to some top university in Mitras? This is the Training Corp, Stephen, you’re not gonna get to try out a bit of everything. Just choose whether or not you wanna be shipped off to a pointless death, and then you’ve made your decision.”

Stephen frowns, shaking his head. “If it was that simple, then what would be the point of choosing?”

Who in the holy hells asked for his philosophical wisdom, that’s what you want to know. Rolling your eyes, you turn to Ricky, who is chewing on your bread, abandoned after your taste buds just wouldn’t adjust without the butter you were used to. With his mouth full, he answers easily. “Scouts.”

You nod. At least he’s sure.

____________________

“That wasn’t right,” Millie says later, right as you’re about to lie down on a scratchy-looking bed.

“What?”

“What you said to him. He can take his time deciding if he wants to. And it’s just rich, coming from you.”

Your eye twitches in irritation. “You’re just pissed because I don’t wanna take on the most boring job in the world.”

“Grow up,” Millie hisses, venom laced in her voice. “Not everything’s about your entertainment.”

Turning around, you see your best friend with arms crossed, giving you a disapproving look that reminds you of your mother. How odd. What’s that old saying about people becoming what they most hate?

“You’re gonna lecture me now too? Hit me with some philosophy, maybe?” You raise your brow, daring her to say more. “Or do you wanna knock me over again? Maybe I’ll get a concussion this time.”

Millie scoffs, sitting down on the bed she’s claimed. “You know what, it was nice. Seeing someone put you in your place like that.” Her lips quirk under your hard gaze. “Maybe he’ll teach you a thing or two about taking things seriously. Give you some actual goals to achieve.”

The only thing Lieutenant Levi will teach you is to never get distracted by something like how beautiful someone’s eyes look ever again. Even now, you can still picture him, the way he stood in front of you, startled you, threw you off. The way his eyes were filled with more duality than you’d ever expected to see in a person.

Pretending like you didn’t just fantasize about his pretty grey irises, you roll your eyes and flop down on the bed next to her’s. “He’s not gonna teach me jack shit. He’s not even our trainer.”

Millie hums, whether it’s to you or to herself you don’t know, and when you look at her again she’s closed her eyes, clearly wanting to end what was a very long day. It’s not long before you join her.

“(F/N).”

“Yeah?”

“I miss home.”

You don’t, but you keep it to yourself.

The last thing you think of before you fall asleep is how cold the lieutenant had looked when he humiliated you, and your cheeks burn angrily.

____________________

Two weeks pass by in a blur. Once training starts, there’s not much time to think about something like goals, because everyone’s goal is simply living until dinner each night. Avoid getting yelled at, attend classes, study hard, and for the love of all things holy don’t fall on your face when you’re balancing in the practice ODM gear. 

It’s a rush, and you actually find yourself enjoying it. The food still tastes stale and the bed is still too hard to be comfortable, but there’s an easy routine that’s so much more than sit still and look pretty. While you’ve never been a fan of routine, this is different. There’s a purpose to this, even if everyone has different things they’re working towards. Whether they’re trying their best to show what they’re made of and get into the top ten like Millie, or pushing themselves because they get starry-eyed at the thought of saving humanity like Rashad, or simply staying out of trouble to avoid getting meal privileges taken away like Clara, everyone is working towards something, and it’s thrilling to be in the midst of it, to be a part of something meaningful.

You and Ricky are fast friends - he’s surprisingly not too insufferable and he shares your enthusiasm for not taking things so seriously. He also seems like he’s looking for a partner in crime, someone to partake in the oh-so delightful task of slacking off with. Millie is throwing herself into perfecting everything, and Stephen, while not as crazy as she is, is more nervous about losing respectability in front of their trainers and comrades. So the two of you naturally gravitate towards each other, because jeez, at least a few people here need to remember that life still exists outside of all of the training and military drama. 

Today is the first time they’re letting you practice hand-to-hand combat, and while that’s obviously ridiculous since you’re training to fight titans (or just bully people, if you’re joining the MP, but Millie didn’t appreciate you voicing that out loud), it’s also a chance for you to show off a natural talent. 

You’re flexible. And fairly fast too.

Sure, you’re no fighter, but back home you were put into dancing lessons since you were a wee young thing, so you have a much higher tolerance than most of these chumps. You can take a few hard punches here and there, and you’re fluid with your movements, so you’re giving as good as you get. Even combat is a dance in a certain way, it has all the same elements at any rate. Everything comes down to the placement of the feet, and every other body is an accessory that has to be utilized perfectly to do any damage. 

Unfortunately, Ricky’s fought, like actually fought - fucking peasants from Maria and their street fights - and so as much as you put up a damn good fight, he eventually gets you in a hold from behind. You squirm in his grasp as he laughs, digging his fingers in your side. You try to protest, but it’s hard when he’s tickling you so hard.

“H-hey, hey!” Your giggling only gets two octaves louder when Ricky doesn’t let up. “Stop!” Ricky’s laugh mixes in with yours, until he’s lifting you off the ground. Your breathing becomes painful as you struggle against his grip, clawing at his hands. “Ricky! Let go!”

Finally, he decides to show mercy, dropping you. He regrets it pretty soon, though, because then you’re on him quickly, throwing a hard punch against his shoulder. He groans, letting out a pained, “What the hell, (F/N)?” but you’re not done. You grab the collar of his uniform, and tug it forward briefly to give yourself some momentum to shove him back as hard as you can.

Ricky stumbles on his feet, catching himself before he falls at the last second. There’s a determined expression in his eyes, not quite competitive but suddenly eager to show off.

“So, think your dainty dancing is gonna give you the advantage here?” he challenges, balling his fists in front of his chest. You do the same. “Hate to break it to you, kid, but that’s not how that works.”

“Beat me, then. Properly.” You smirk, planting your feet firmly. Let him throw the first punch, you decide. “I have to be on the ground for you to win.”

Ricky’s clever too, knowing you intend to use his size against him. He lowers his arms, extending them as though he’s going to let you take a free shot. Yeah, you’re not that stupid. You stay right where you are, raising an unimpressed brow. The two of you stare each other down, trying your best not to break into smiles. 

“Hit me.”

“Hard pass.”

“Because you know your punch will be too weak?”

“How’s your shoulder, Ricky? Should be feeling fine, since my punch was so weak.”

He barks out a laugh, rolling his shoulder back experimentally. “Like getting hit by a feather.”

Okay, trash talk isn’t part of the combat training that the trainer, Instructor Grumman, has assigned. But it’s still fun, and it’s about a thousand times more preferable than actually fighting. Fighting is painful and pointless. Trash talk is entertaining and doable. 

Still, you hunch your shoulders. If Ricky really won’t move, you’ll come at him with full force. Digging your heel into the ground, you give yourself a boost and run towards him with a burst of speed. His eyes widen, and his first instinct is to hold out his hands to keep you at bay. But with the close proximity and his lanky figure, it won’t be enough. You’ll have him on his back within seconds if you ram into him in one, two -

You don’t make it.

You don’t make it because you’re suddenly flung into the air. You let out a frantic shriek and bring your arms up to shield your face. The ground approaches with dizzying speed and you hit it with a sickening thud. Your hands are suddenly covered in scratches and you open your mouth to furiously ask Ricky what the fuck he was thinking and how did he even do that and did he have to throw you so high -

But when you look up, it’s cold grey eyes that meet you.

Fuck.

The glare that was supposed to be for Ricky is now aimed at him, unadulterated hate coursing through your veins. This is the first time you’ve seen him since that day. Just what in the actual fuck is his problem, and just what had you done to deserve being thrown over his shoulder and up into the sky like a fucking ragdoll? You hadn’t mouthed off this time. Hell, you didn’t even know he was there, so just what the fuck was he punishing you for?

“People who don’t take their training seriously usually end up looking up like this,” he hisses. His glare matches yours, which is ridiculous, because he’s the one who knocked you down. Why is he pissed off? “‘Course, they’re usually looking up at a titan, but we don’t have any of those on hand for me to demonstrate.”

Yeah, he’s far from a titan. Fucking shrimp.

“I was taking my training very seriously, sir,” you say with gritted teeth. “In fact, I would have defeated my opponent had you not stepped in and shot me up in the air.” Your hands would also have significantly fewer bruises. 

He snorts, actually snorts, like you’ve just told a hilarious joke. “A real opponent isn’t going to let you run that mouth of yours before they come at you. You’d be dead in two fucking seconds.”

People are looking now. Everyone remembers that first day, and they all look as though their favorite stage actors have come to town to perform a show. They’re all waiting to see just what the girl who talked back to Lieutenant Levi will do now. A circus trick, perhaps? They don’t know what you’re made of - no one is going to see you crack. And definitely not because of this insufferable man.

“You don’t know that, sir.” You say it with a poisonous smile, wanting him to know that it’s not meant to be respectful. “I might just make it. Maybe I’ll even make it longer than you.”

There are hushed gasps all around you, but the lieutenant pays them no mind. He looks amused, as if you’re just a stupid little girl, an arrogant brat who somehow thinks she’s somehow stronger than him. You’re not an idiot, you know that he’s an excellent soldier who will probably make captain soon, and you’re a lowly cadet who doesn’t even know the basics yet. But once you’re trained up, once you have experience, you think you could take him on, and you could possibly win.

Lieutenant Levi leans down, crouching on his legs before leaning in. He grabs your shoulder harshly, and leans in to whisper in your ear. “I’ll be waiting, (L/N).”

You almost feel respected until he adds, “Waiting to see the day that fucking smile gets wiped off your face.”

With that, he stands up and turns. Turns to walk away. Turns as though you’re not still on the ground. Turns as though your comrades aren’t snickering around you, convinced that he just put you in your place a second time. Turns as though he didn’t just single you out for no damn reason - who even fucking asked him to watch? Who asked him to interfere in your business? Why didn’t anyone else demand his attention? You weren’t the only one goofing off. Hell, there were some people who were actually just lazing around! Where was their punishment?

Furiously, you speak before your brain can catch up.

“Why don’t you fight me, Lieutenant?” you say loudly as you get to your feet.

He stops.

Ricky, who is safely standing a few feet away now, gives you a wide-eyed look, silently asking if you’re brain damaged. But you pay him no mind, your eyes focused on the back of Lieutenant Levi’s head, probably burning a hole in him with your gaze by now. Immediately, the crowd changes sides again, hushed oohs spreading around. It’s not enthusiastic, no one actually believes you’ll triumph, but they are enthusiastic that you have the balls to try.

He turns, giving you the driest expression you’ve ever seen, and you half expect to be dismissed. To be told that you’re too weak to even think about fighting him.

Instead, his stance changes, his fists are raised, and he’s accepted your challenge.

You know you can’t win. That’s not the point. The point is to hold out. For a whole minute, at least. Half a minute. Was twenty seconds too generous?

There’s a small part of you that regrets mouthing off this time.

Lieutenant Levi doesn’t have to waste any time staring you down. He has no need to debate in his head about who should throw the first punch, and nor does he grant you the courtesy of devising a strategy in your head first. In half a second, he’s approaching you with dizzying speed, fist reeled back, about to knock you over for the second time today.

But you’re sick and tired of these fast maneuvers. 

You duck down just as he closes the gap between you, and you go for his legs. He grunts in surprise as you make contact, clutching tightly. It may look pathetic. Your arms are wrapped around his thighs, which you basically just dived into. Your face is squished against his hip. Your feet have left the ground, as you’ve thrown your entire body at him. At this moment, you look absolutely ridiculous.

But it’s worth it.

The lieutenant loses his balance as his feet slip from under him. You can feel him falling down, down, down, with a gasp that is just fucking music to your ears. This is turning out better than you’ve ever hoped for. You’ve proved everyone wrong, even yourself. He’s going to hit the floor, and you’re going to win. You’ll win.

Or at least, you would have.

You’re both hurtling through the air for one glorious moment. Then, recovering from his shock in an instant, Lieutenant Levi spins the two of you in midair, and despite all your efforts and quick calculations, it’s your back that hits the floor again with a loud crack, air knocked clean out of your lungs. You gasp for breath. His knees are digging into your neck, you’re going to choke -

He takes no time to recover. He’s up and on his feet in a second, brushing the nonexistent dirt off his pants, and you’re left panting with your hand on your throat, trying to recover what little dignity you have left as laughter erupts around you. Dizziness and confusion overwhelms you, as does something else. Just a few minutes ago, you’d been looking at him hatefully. Well, you from five minutes ago had no idea what hate was. You could kill him right now, this arrogant, pompous, cruel jerk. 

How dare he look so unperturbed? Like this is just a normal weekday for him?

A hand yanks you up by your hair, nails digging in your scalp painfully. You’re brought to your knees with a heaving gasp. He tugs your head up until you’re looking at him properly, and he has the nerve to smirk. It’s slight - perhaps he knows a full blown smile would look creepy on him - but it’s there, mocking you.

When he speaks, it’s just a little louder than a murmur. “I thought I told you to tie your hair up.”

Then he releases you, and your buckle over in pain. The position literally has you bowing down to him. White hot anger seeps through you. Consumes you. When he starts walking away, his every step thunders in your head, echoing a million times. He had no right. 

No right at all.

It seems like Millie’s wish has come true. You have a goal now. A goal that Lieutenant Levi has so graciously given you.

You’ve decided. No matter what happens, you’re going to get revenge on Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. He’s going to fucking pay.

____________________

You’re pacing out in the field later that day, muttering under your breath, the events from earlier replaying in your head on loop. Millie’s decided to give up on getting you to come study with her, and she’s blatantly refused to participate in your little quest for revenge, citing it as “pointless and foolhardy.” Well, this whole thing is pointless and foolhardy. The Training Corp is just a way to produce more dead bodies every year. But Millie didn’t agree with your line of logic and has left you to brood on your own.

Realistically, what are your options? It’s not an easy task to take on. Humiliating a man who is now so respected and admired will be difficult when his ego soars sky high. Something heavy will be needed to bring it down. Now you have no intention of ruining him for life, nothing major or extremely dangerous. If you did have such an intent, it would’ve been rather simple, just a letter back home to your mother to spread the word of what humanity’s hero was really like. Not that she’s inclined to listen to your demands nowadays, but it’s a doable plan that would work one way or another. But you want to embarrass Lieutenant Levi the exact same way he embarrassed you. You want to knock him flat on his back, while everyone watches, and you want to stand triumphantly as he kneels down to you.

Someone listening to your thoughts right about now would think you were having a vivid sexual fantasy. You groan, slumping down against the bark of a tree. It’s going to be dark soon. You have a curfew that you’re inclined to obey. But you simply can’t go back without thinking of a plan. He deserves it. He deserves to be utterly humiliated. Punishing you is one thing. Beating you in a fight is only natural. 

But holding you up by your hair like you’re one of the fucking spoils of war only to have you kneel to him - that’s sick. He’s sick, and probably perverted. You wonder if he’s always been like that, or if the glory has gone to his head. And you wonder why he’s chosen you to play this game with. Because of a smile and some cheek? That’s no excuse. 

Maybe you’re just the prettiest one here, and he has a crush.

Even the cocky thought can’t distract you enough from your frustration. You can’t possibly beat him. There’s a reason he’s getting so much attention. It’s because he can fight like no other, and it’s all natural talent too. Frankly, you call bullshit, no one is just that good without any practice, but whatever, not the point right now. Who could possibly make you capable enough to beat the lieutenant in a fight? Who could possibly know all his weaknesses? 

Probably only him.

Your eyes widen.

____________________

The sun shines brightly the next day. You feel the warm breeze from the open windows kissing your cheek as you run through the base. Most people passing by pay you no mind, although a few give you questioning looks. But they don’t say anything, probably figuring you’re just a lost newbie who’s inevitably going to get yelled at when you show up late for class. But they’re mistaken, you’re not lost at all. You’re running with purpose. And well, you might be late for class, but it’ll be fine, you know Stephen takes detailed notes that he’s willing to share, and even if he feels like being mean, this is much more important.

Originally, the plan was to go all the way to his office, the path pieced together from directions you’d gotten from Instructor Grumman who believed you were going to apologize (for what?). Hopefully, he won’t actually double check if you went through with it, because you have no intention of apologizing for a single damn thing. Your aim is far more sinister than that. Today is the first step of a plan that will take you a long while, but it’ll pay off eventually. You’re going to achieve your goal. 

That is, if he agrees.

The universe is on your side, because you don’t even need to go all the way to his office. There he is, in the flesh, talking to a blonde man you recognize as Captain Erwin Smith and a woman who you haven’t seen before. Maybe if he hadn’t been so callous yesterday, you’d have waited until he was away from his comrades before approaching him. It’s too late to care about appearances now.

You step up to the three of them and salute, clearing your throat.

He looks at you, and his eyes harden when he sees a smile plastered on your face yet again. 

“Can we help you?” Captain Erwin says gently, but there’s just the slightest edge in his tone. Clearly one is not supposed to just approach this dream team. Your bad.

You open your mouth to answer him, but Lieutenant Levi beats you to it, looking bored as he does. “She’s lost, Erwin. Classes are on the other side of the base,” he says dismissively, waving a hand like he’s swatting away a fly.

“I am not lost. Sir.” Your spine is still straightened and your fist is still balled against your heart. You’re not sacrificing it just yet, but you’re certainly sacrificing your pride here. “I have a request for you. After you pointed out my obvious flaws yesterday, I realized that if I don’t get help, I’m going to fall seriously behind.”

Captain Erwin shoots him an exasperated look, already having figured that his best friend (or whatever they are to each other) must have done something to you. Meanwhile, the woman cackles, nudging the lieutenant’s shoulder. 

“She’s being proactive! You appreciate that, don’t you, Levi?”

He doesn’t answer. His attention is now exclusively on you - you nearly feel special. 

“So what do you need from me, Cadet?” You ignore the way your stomach flip-flops violently from the way he stares at you, the corners of his mouth twitched upward in a light smirk. Something in him clearly enjoys the idea of you needing him for something. Something else to lord over your head, something else for him to be cocky about. “You want me to find someone to give you private lessons?”

“Close,” you say, mustering the brightest and happiest fucking expression you can, “I’d like you to give me private lessons. I want you to train me.”

The lieutenant’s eyes flash upwards. 

Your hair is neatly tied up in a tight bun.

Y’all have no idea how weird it is to write “Lieutenant Levi.” I loathe it.

Also, this is my first time writing in second person. Lots of firsts here, folks.

Please review, your comments are my source of life.

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

An old friend of Giyuu

Just a short drabble

“Come on Mitsuri, just hold it longer,” Obani spoke as the two were leaning against each other.

“For fuck sake! My fuckin’ back!” Sanemi complain as he had Shinobu did her best to wrap the large slash on his back in the minimal amount of bandages she had.

“It’ll be alright. We’ll get home soon.” Shinobu spoke as her eyebrows knitted together, her legs feeling weak, she almost fell by Tengen caught her.

“We can’t keep this up for the whole walk home,” Tengen suggested looking back at the semi-new kids, Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu. “They’re exhausted, we’re exhausted. I suggest we stay somewhere flamboyant-”

Giyuu stayed quiet as he looked up, his crow coming down quickly and landing on his hand.

Giyuu looked at the bird with his bland eyes, petting the bird lightly with his bruised hand. “Please, see that Y/n can make room for us at her home,” Giyuu asked as the bird nodded.

“There’s twelve of us. Including a demon, but she’s not harmful.” Giyuu told the bird and then flew off as he soared into the night sky.

“You’re talking to your girlfriend in a time like this?” Muchiro stated bluntly.

Giyuu stayed quiet as he looked forward awaiting an answer from the crow as they walked forward, within twenty minutes the crow had arrived, with a scroll in hand and another bird with it.

“Gomei,” Giyuu spoke as the second bird landed on Giyuu’s head, it’s feathers like ice with a chain around its neck.

His own bird dropped the scroll in Giyuu’s hands as he opened it up.

“Well, what a beautiful bird!” Rengoku smiled as the bird glided over to the fire pillar, taking a seat on his head.

“Wow! It’s an Ice Phoenix! I’m surprised he’s taking a seat on your head! But they melt into ice if they bring-”

Tanjiro was interrupted as the bird melted into a large puddle of water, making Rengoku laugh happily as if he wasn’t beaten to a pulp and bleeding. 

“What a great personality! I bet the owner is just as Spunky!” Rengoku spoke happily as he held a smile on his face.

“She’s allowing us over, she said she’s busy so meet her in the rice fields,” Giyuu spoke out.

“That’s just past the trees,” Tengen informed.

“She must be sweet! If she’s allowing us over even when she’s busy!” Mitsuri gushed. “We have to repay her.”

Giyuu sighed, “Good luck with that I tried.” he mumbled.

“What was that?” Shinobu teased

“We should get going,” Giyuu spoke as he walked forward the others looked at each other and pressed forward as well.

The walk was short as they made it to the rice fields, where they heard kids running around. Yelling for each other as one couldn’t catch each other, there was a splash of water as the kids jumped in the empty water bank from already being harvested. The group stood at the edge of the forest looking out as they noticed the only adult in the next bank, a child on her back and a large basket on her head as she tossed stalks into it carefree as if she had done it day in and day out. The pillars started walking slowly fatigue really catching up with them now, the kids noticed as they quickly exited the empty bank and ran towards the woman as quickly as possible.

“Y/n! Y/n!” They called out as they quickly slid into the water to hide behind her.

“Huh?” She asked turning her head, as she saw the two kids scared out there minds.

“They have swords! They’re gonna hurt you!” the kids cried.

“Now when have I ever let anything happen to any of us.” she smiled as tears brimmed there eyes,” Stay behind me and I’ll take care of it.”

They only nodded as they hid in the water as she climbed up the slope with her full basket as Rengoku rushed over, helping her by grabbing the basket.

“Oh- Thank you-” She paused looking at him.

 “Your face! It’s all cut up! Is this dry blood?” She asked grabbing his cheek softly and trying to rub some off lightly. “ Come! come! I’ll take you to my house! Oh god, you poor baby!” She ushered.

“Y/n.” 

She turned her head seeing Giyuu standing there covering her mouth she looked at the wreck of a state her friend was in. “Oh, Giyuu…”

He gulped as he slightly started to sweat, as she walked up to him holding his face in her hands. “You’re all beat up…” She looked as she was about to cry tears as she snapped.

“YOU PIECE OF CRAP! HOW DARE YOU!” She slapped his face, making the pillars jump. “HOW DARE YOU COME TO ME IN YOUR STATE OF CONDITION! ALL BEAT UP! YOU KNOW I CARE YOU BITCH!”

She grabbed his face against and pulled him into a quick hug, tears brimming her eyes as Giyu sighed his cheeks a slight red.

“Please! All! Hurry I’ll allow you to my house! And then! I’ll drop the kids off! I’ll tend to all your wounds! No charge!” She cheered pulling Giyuu along while the others still stood there, while she passed by Rengoku she put the basket back on her head and then gestured them all to follow her.

“Kids! They’re safe! There my old friends! Remember the stories!” 

They soon when from terrified to stars in their eyes, they were told great tales about the pillars from Y/n and certainly were indulged in becoming one themselves as the group followed Y/n.

“Wait! Wait! I wanna stay! Please! I wanna meet the loudest Pillar! He’s awesome!” The young boy shouted pulling on Y/n’s arm.

“No! The water pillar obviously better!” The girl protested.

“Yeah! Well, no one likes the water pillar!” 

“Everybody likes the water pillar! He’s friends with everybody!” 

The two kids growled at each other.

“yeah well, there’s the mist pillar! he’s just as awesome!” The boy protested.

“So is the snake pillar!” The girl argued.

“And the stone pillar!” They shouted at each other.

“The wind pillar can fly!” they shouted.

“Stop copying me!”

“The Insect pillar is the smartest!” The boy argued.

“yeah duh!  the love pillar is the prettiest! and shes strong!” The girl defended.

“Yeah! I know that!” The boy shouted.

“Matsuda.” Y/n stated as the boy looked up at her, “Aiko.” Y/n smiled as the girl looked up at her, and the baby whined. 

“And Riku.” Y/n smiled the baby cheered happily as the pillars listened.

“You’re forgetting a pillar.” Y/n spoke.

Giyuu looked blankly at her, “Please don’t get them started yelling about-”

“THE FLAME PILLAR!” They shouted on key as they jumped up and down.

“Such fan girls and boys…” Shinobu laughed lightly.

“I believe they’re much louder than any form I have. It’s flamboyant! I love it!” Tengen smiled.

Rengoku secretly listened in on the two, as they compared on how awesome the flame pillar was, as they walked to the house. 

“Sorry if there loud the place in a bit of a mess, but I’ll fix you all up and then we can eat.” Y/n apologized as they all entered the house, each of them collapsing on the front room door not able to hold their selves up anymore.

“Kids! Take your shoes off hurry! Put Aniko in her bed for now with some toys, get me water and some wash clothes while I get the medicine.” Y/n stated as the kids did as asked taking the baby and running off as carefully as possible to get what their caregiver had asked.

 She quickly did the same taking her shoes off as she set the basket down and ran to get the medical supplies. Quickly the kids and Y/n returned with the needed supplies. 

“We’ll get you cleaned up here let you rest a bit, you all must be so exhausted- then we’ll get you separate rooms if you want, or would you all like to be in the same room?” Y/n asked. 

“Ah, you’re so sweet.” Mitsuri blushed. 

“Y/n is one of the main skilled people I know that’s not in the demon slayer corps- “ Giyuu  winced as Y/n cleaned up his face, soon wiping his hands as well.

“you’ll need a set of small stitches…” Y/n spoke as she wrapped his hand in cloth bandages, “That should hold it, for now, don’t straggle your breathing.” 

Next, she moved on to Tengen the kids helping with the occasional new water and clean cloth bandages as she moved as quick as possible trying to patch everyone up decently until she could spend more time on one person. When she got to Rengoku last she lightly rubbed the blood off his face, he closed an eye as she wiped over the half of his face then his hand, and asked is he had any major injuries, Rengoku only replied with a nothing I can’t handle as and smiled., but when she smiled at him he felt his eyes soften, her smile was sincere and worry-full, yet she had never met the man in her life. She got up and cleaned her own hands and then helped each one of them up. They slipped there shoes off as they already felt better.

“I’ll cook some food, you all can wait in the dining room and I’ll bring it out.” She smiled. 

Helping each of them up the small steps if needed, yet Tanjriro, Zenitsu along with an out of the box Nezuko, and forced Inosuke stopped, asking if you needed help. Worried about them, you only told them if they wanted they could watch the kids, saying Matsuda knew how to make bracelets and Aiko would teach them how to paint if they wanted to know. Meanwhile, Riku would most likely be asleep already. They agreed to help you and went to watch the two kids, while you cooked. 

She was rushing to put some type of substance back in the pillars bodies. She quickly made rice, she rushed outside to the backyard and picked some vegetables. Rengoku came out and helped.

“You don’t need to, go with your friends and rest.” Y/n spoke taking the basket with her hands away from him.

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, but you’ve saved my friends and I from serious injuries, maybe even death.” Rengoku spoke, “Plus, it would be rude not to help.”

Y/n looked down at the basket. “Okay..then could you help by watching your white haired friend to me. He seems aggravated. I don’t want him popping his stitches open.” 

“Gladly.” 

[mercurytrinemoon]

Me debunking astrology generalizations and misconceptions or smth idk...

Squares and oppositions aren't pure evil. 

I can't believe I have to say this because I thought ya'll have learnt the characteristics of every aspect but here we are. Nothing in astrology is black and white. And I saw some ridiculous statements (not necessary here on tumblr) that said things like "if your Venus squares someone's ascendant then you don't find that person attractive AT ALL". Or "Mars square Mercury people can't speak politely and have an annoying voice". Like????? First of all, that's ridiculous. Second of all, square in not "everything bad" just like trine is not "everything amazing". Squares bring tension, which leads to motivation, they’re stimulating; sometimes excitement or charisma; sometimes they can make you overdo things. I'm not saying they're oh-so-marvelous because the challenges are still there, but they're not as bad as people paint them to be. Squares happen between two signs that are in the same modality so they have a bunch of things in common. Besides, some of them (Sagi-Pisces and Gemini-Virgo) are ruled by the same planet so there's a special type of chemistry between those (especially when applied to synastry). Oppositions work in two ways, planets either meet in the middle - opposite signs usually complete each other and fuel each other up. And worse case scenario? Natally this means being pulled in two different directions; synastry-wise, you can completely miss each other like two passing cars - so there may be some misunderstandings but I don't think that's the end of the world... And, as per usual, may be mitigated by other positive aspects.

This is me debunking other people's attempts at debunking Sun sign compatibility. 

Sun IS very important but when people ask about compatibility and go with Suns... and then someone tries to be a smartass and debunk the "compatible-incompatible" and does the same thing without even realizing it. Like, "oh I actually see a lot of Aries and Pisces having amazing relationships because *insert someting that is a total stretch and refers to their Sun sign traits*"... But you seem to forget that they're neighbouring signs... which means they probably have personal planets in those neighbouring signs... which means they're compatible not because of some made-up stuff that you're trying to come up with but because their other planets are compatible with each other. But you're still feeding into the Sun sign compatibility talk. (So like, what I'm trying to also say, yes, the entire synastry chart comes into play; Also, side note, everyone can get along on some level if they’re mature enough).

Planet in a sign is NOT the same as planet in the house. 

There may be some overlaps in some of the sign-houses associations (like in the overall energy; like for example, it sort of makes sense that 3rd, 7th and 11th are referred to as “air houses” because they’re the most social) but in NO WAY there are similarities between planet house position and the "ruling" sign. That association started a few decades ago and some would say that NOT linking houses with signs is a purely traditional approach. But there’s plenty of professional modern astrologers with 20/30/40-year experience who still differentiate between sign/house position... because they know (and have learnt along the way) that there’s a huge difference.

I'll give you 3 quick examples: Gemini planets and 3rd house planets both may put emphasis on communication, mental stimulation and gathering data. But Geminis are often scattered in their approach, they may be easily distracted, may be indecisive, may be jack of all trades and talkative jokesters. They actually hate routines and dullness. "Spice it up" is probably a Gemini's philosophy. Now 3rd house planets may indicate you actually LIKE doing things on the regular - like running errands every other day in the mornings or going to that one specific coffee shop to pick up a snack. You may actually work in logistics or as a postman (especially if your chart ruler or MC ruler is in the 3rd). Planets in the 3rd talk about your siblings, neighbours or school experiences - like having Venus in the 3rd may point to positive experiences within those areas - something Gemini Venus has nothing in common.

Venus in the 9th can study at an art/beauty or fashion school (or even teach there if the MC is involved); can be very attached to spiritual and religious matters; can also find love in a foreign land. But imagine it being in Taurus - rather shy, needing those stable values to feel secure, being an exceptionally great student at that art school thanks to its domicile. Venus in Sagittarius on the other hand, likes adventure, things being shaken up from time to time, lightheartedness and exploration. But what if we flip the scenario and that Sag Venus is in the 2nd house. This can denote earing money through travelling and looking for ways to expand but in a financial matters.

Continuing with the Venus examples, having Venus in Aries is completely different than Venus in the 1st. What do people usually say about Venus in the 1st? That it makes the native charming, lovely, well-put together, with great manners, maybe beautiful, graceful, maybe a bit shallow. When in Aries? None of these characteristics fit, on top of that, it's in its detriment. Our poor gal Venus is uncomfortable and confused in Aries. She's like, "conquer? Swords? Selfishness? Obnoxiousness? Sparring? You're telling me to fight people? What am I doing here???" 

And I'll leave you here with that cause those examples weren’t that quick lol and in fact, I could give you a 100 of those. Besides, this actually inspired a 3-page rant that I've already posted not so long ago that you can read HERE.

There's no such thing as "more accurate" astrology. 

Both western and vedic are valid. Both can show you the same things. JUST KEEP THEM SEPARATE AND DON'T MIX THEM WITH EACH OTHER. And don't say things like "sidereal shows your soul" - omg I saw this statement soooo many times, who the hell even came up with this?! Actually, if anything, it's the modern western approach that "psychologized" (yea I just made up a word, you mad?) astrology while Jyotish still sticks to the very real "here and now", sometimes fatalistic predictions of how exactly your life is going to roll out... But hey, reach for hellenistic methods and they can tell you the same things, just with different tools. So no, they do not show different things, it's just their language is different.

If you say you don't identify with your chart then you're just reading it wrong.

This partially connects to the last one in some ways... Switching to a different astrology or different charts is not a solution. Learn how to read your natal. If you say it doesn’t describe you, I can guarantee you that you haven’t studied it properly. (Now this hasn't turned into a rant yet but I may actually do a whole-ass post on this because if I start elaborating on it now I'll end up with another 3-page essay).

Learn how and when to generalize. Also learn how to take generalizations. 

I understand that you have to pick up on every single thing separately in order to put everything together. It's like learning a new language: first you need to learn individual words and then you need to know the proper grammar to create a full sentence. This is 100% understandable and necessary, but it's important to take the entire thing into consideration. And this goes for all branches of astrology, but I guess it's especially annoying with synastry. This, again, comes down to the very black and white approach. You know, like when you see those long paragraphs where people elaborate on all the intricacies of Venus-Pluto aspects or whatever as if that one thing was determining the entire relationship between two people. (Side note, no shade but some of ya'll should start writing fiction or poetry cause the amount of fluffy speech and waffle that I see floating around here on tumblr is insane sometimes). Why are you wording everything as a make it or break it type of situation? And on the receiving end - learn how to take *properly phrased* generalizations constructively. Example: it IS a rule that Aries is a competitive one, maybe you're not one of them (for many reasons) but don't make a fuss about someone saying this. It IS a basic rule that energies of the same sign in two people are going to get along (well that depends on the planets involved but I digress), if that, for some other reasons, doesn't apply to you, don't go yelling that it's bullcrap because you hate people of the same sign. You know? Like, learn the difference.

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE WITH ASTROLOGY.

I had a mini-rant on this one a while ago, but I think this deserves a constant reminder (and refers to the last point), I don't want to see any more posts that would say things like "xxx house placements will bring you suffering" or "stay away from people with planets in your xxx house" or, even worse, making a (completely untrue btw) prediction based on one single thing like "someone with so-and-so aspect is going to harm you". And you're so casual about it??? You know there are sensitive people in the world. Learn some ethics. Learn some counseling skills. Don't be ignorant. Don't throw these random stuff at people just like that. And learn some actual astrology cause most of these aren't even closely describing that particual aspect. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Ok now I'm pissed again.

Studying astrology and believing in free will doesn’t go well together.

It's not just psychological and spiritual. It's useful to know that western astrology made it like that because there were still people threatening astrologers for using it as a divination tool. So they moved away from the predictive/deterministic aspect of it. Now, I'm not here to change anyone's beliefs cause that's a very personal thing that everyone should develop on their own. But once you start diving deeper into astrology you'd notice that there's a heavy emphasis on fatedness and things being predetermined. That includes both the good and the bad stuff and you should learn to accept that. And with the bad things specifically, let's not excuse it with some "oh that was an opportunity for growth". Like yea, maybe, occasionally??? But just acknowledge that sometimes things happen not because there was a deeper meaning in them... but because you have a Pluto-Mars conjunction in the 6th that makes an applying square to your chart ruler and you were going through a profection year where Mars was your time lord and it transited that chart ruler while making a conjunction with Neptune so you were attacked by a baby crocodile while swimming and it bit off your toe and you got a nasty infection and that’s it (I just made that up btw, I don't actually know anyone who was attacted by a crocodile). So like, sometimes shit just happens and there's nothing psychological about it. Also, I bet your free will didn't want to be attacked by that croc.

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable  ( Jungkook x Oc ) Chapter 8

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3   Chapter 4 Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7

Chapter 8

“Heartbreak looks good on you...” My sister commented impishly, watching me slip the teardrop earring into my lobe, the ruby red stone glinting in the dimlight of the bedroom. 

It was a couple of weeks since my uncle had come over and today, all the important clan leaders from around the country would be heading over to pay their respects to him. As one of the oldest surviving vampires, he commanded a lot of respect and no one really wanted to be on his bad side. 

Which just made me love Jungkook all the more because I couldn’t forget how he’d literally thrown himself in between us that day. I wanted to give him  everything  in return but apparently, all i was allowed to give him was space. 

My father had visited me everyday , giving me a very cryptic, ‘ I’ll make sure the two of you get your happy ending, dearest but you need to trust me and stay away for a while. Just a while. ’. 

But it seemed so impossible, so far away and just so unlikely that I was beginning to lose hope. 

It didn’t help that I hadn’t actually seen Jungkook in these two weeks . Namjoon took his place and my only connection to him was Joowon , who told me his father was busy ...that he stayed with Hwasa most evenings . I felt jittery and nervous and even more so today because of the lavish party being hosted in the Grand Ball Room, which was easily the biggest room in the entire estate. The last time it had been opened was for my parent’s wedding a whole two centuries ago.  

For once I couldn’t hide in the daycare in sweats. My uncle apparently insisted that i be present for the party tonight. 

It only made my anxiety skyrocket. 

I was a mess when it came to formal parties with century old vampires. I had all the formal training of course, but still the etiquette lessons were long forgotten and lot of those cranky old bats had very archaic ideas about what was allowed and what wasn’t. 

I  didn’t want some entitled century old vampire pawing at my neck for a drink tonight. I really didn’t. 

But i had done my part. Put on a red dress, the backline dipping all the way down to the base of my spine , let one of the make up artists in the clan have a go at my face and even put on blood red lipstick. 

I grunted , trying to yank the small lace and leather garter up my thigh. It had a holster for a dagger, the small ornate silver one that all the women in the clan carried. The dagger was crafted with the Hwang crest on its handle and I carefully sheathed it in, patting my thigh to make sure it wouldn’t slip down my limb. 

“Don’t make fun of my misery.” I glared at her and she actually laughed. 

“Sera, you feel too much too deeply. Jungkook isn’t going anywhere. He’ll come around. “ She said gently.

I shook my head.

“I don’t want to wait though. I... I don’t know why I hate waiting but I do..”

“He looks like a kinky bastard. Tell me, did you guys try anything ...I don’t know..risky?”

Nothing riskier than getting edged in front of a whole hotel full of guests and then getting fucked in the back of a car. Oh, did I tell you he spit in my mouth? And I loved it.

“Not really.” I lied but I could feel my face heating up as I turned around, back to the mirror as i felt my ears burning.

My sister shrieked so loud I jumped, nearly knocking over the bottle of perfume on the dresser.

“Oh my God, Sera, you naughty little bint! Tell me now!!!” She screeched and i flushed.

Like hell i was telling my sister what we had done.

“It’s private!!” I hissed when she tried to yank me and she laughed. 

“You’re shy... aww that’s cute. But that’s just because you recently got un-virgined . Bet you  can’t wait for him to desecrate your special place again, huh?” She waggled her eyebrows. 

“That is the single most disgusting thing you’ve ever said.” I gagged.

She laughed again. 

“Relax. He was your first. Happens . But like I said, don’t worry about him being serious about this. I think he is. You guys had sex and dad knows that. And yet somehow he’s still walking around with his had attached to his shoulders. Do you really think father would have let him live if he didn’t have feelings for you?”

I frowned.

“That’s not fair. It was consensual. He didn’t force me into anything or tell me he had feelings ....”

She scoffed at that. 

“Please tell me you still don’t think he hasn’t got feelings for you. He went batshit-crazy when you went on that date with Yugyeom. Jimin thought he was having a stroke or something. Dude’s so gone for you it isn’t even funny.”

“ Fat lot of good that does me! ” I snapped. “ If he doesn’t acknowledge those feelings he might as well not have any. And so far he’s made it abundantly clear that he’s not going to act on them. Ever.” 

“Because he’s clearly involved in something dangerous.” She said easily, making me blink.  “I’m not supposed to be telling you this but I’m kind of sick of you moping around like the world is ending and I’m just going to trust you to be smart about it.”

“What do you mean dangerous?” I whirled around to glare at her, pulse racing. 

“I have no clue. Dad and Jungkook are working on something.  But they’ve been huddled in the administrative building for three days now and no one has seen them . So i don’t really know what it is they’re planning. But I’ve always wondered if Jungkook was hiding from something. It would explain why he’d work as a bodyguard...with his skills he could be so much more.  ”

Frustration bloomed,  this time laced with worry. I wanted to know what was going on. God, if i could only see him. A glimpse would be enough. Just to make sure he was okay. Just to hear from him that he was okay. That he was going to be safe. 

“Think he’ll be at the party?”  I asked softly, feeling a whole lot pathetic at the way my heart lurched hopefully. 

My sister gave me a very mischievous smile. 

“Maybe . Maybe not. You look ravishing by the way.  And everyone out there wants you. Literally. Don’t forget that. Don’t be easy. Make him beg a little. ” She winked. 

I frowned. 

“He won’t beg. He’ll turn the tables around and make me cry.” I shuddered.  . Which really wouldn’t be that hard . I felt like I was always on the verge of tears these days. 

The knock on the door made us both look up. 

“Who’s escorting you tonight?” My sister asked gently. 

I shrugged. 

“No one. I’m just gonna walk in there by myself because I hate all of you. ” I grabbed the small bejeweled clutch from the table and hesitated just a second. 

God , I had no strength for tonight but there was a possibility that Jungkook could be there tonight. And I wanted to see him, if for no other reason than to kick him in the teeth. 

 I slipped into the strappy peep toe heels, stumbling a little because i wasn’t used to them. 

Swearing at the sharp pain shooting up my heel and shin, I wrenched the door open. Ignoring the simpering man on the other side, i stalked right past him. 

It was going to be a long , long night 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ballroom looked ....for lack of a better word : overwhelming. 

Whoever was in charge of the decoration had clearly taken the budget, quadrupled it and then pretty much ordered one of everything. I stared at the sheer overdose of satin and gauze and felt myself shuddering. 

Red and black was the theme for the night and I half wished I’d chosen to wear something in turquoise blue just to give my eyes some sort of relief. But there was no denying that it looked especially lavish, the huge hall big enough to fit a dozen foot ball fields, the high ceiling that seemed to stretch right up to the heavens and the million candelabras and chandeliers hung all over the place. 

The carpeted floors felt soft under my foot and it was still early, only a few pople flitting about while the ushers and helpers rushed about, tweaking deatils, rechecking placement charts, placing refreshments on the table. Small bottles of blood arranged neatly on the table and I rolled my shoulders, eyes darting around to find someone familiar. 

Kim Minjae and Kim Mingyu were just entering the hall and I grimaced. God, no. But i watched as they casually posed in front of the blood red backdrop, while cameras flashed and i frowned. Were supernatural tabloids really that starved for material? 

“Sera, go on, you need to get your picture taken too!” My aunt materialized out of nowhere , dressed in a puffy red gown with ruffles and I shook my head. 

“Later... i need a drink.” I said quickly, escaping her clingy fingers and rushing away . 

As the only human in the entire damn place, I would have to walk all the way to the bar on the far corner of the ballroom to beg for a drink. 

I was half way there when a commotion at the door made me look up. My father had arrived with him a majority of his counsel and a bunch of other guests as well. I stared, my eyes zeroing in on a very familiar figure , my father’s arm wrapped around his shoulder.

Jeon Jungkook stood right next to my father dressed to the nines and with a dazzling smile in place. 

I gawked at him. 

Trying to process what it was that I was seeing. 

He was smiling. He had the audacity to smile after ignoring me for two whole weeks. 

I took a deep breath.

“You better have a pretty darn good explanation for the radio silence you treated me to the past two weeks. “ I intoned dully to myself , trying to ignore the way he looked, completely at ease in the spotlight. 

He turned a little to the left and his gaze caught mine. I watched as he smiled and shook hands with the people around him before whispering something to my father. 

I dug my heels into the floor, glaring as he extricated himself from the elite crowd and slowly began walking over. God, i wanted to kick him so bad. 

He stopped in front of me, looking expectant and my anger merely doubled in intensity. 

“Anything you wanna say, Jeon?” I snapped. 

“You’re beautiful. Breathtakingly so. Red is your color, angel. I wanna see you in it more often. “ He answered at once. 

My mind went distressingly blank for a whole thirty second. 

“ Did i fucking offer? ” I demanded , angry. “ I’m not dressing up for you. Ever. You ignored me for two entire weeks Jungkook! i didn’t know where you were...what you were doing...” 

“Sera, I’m sor -” He began but I squawked in disbelief, shoving him away hard. He stumbled, more in surprise than from the impact but he looked surprised .  

I felt myself shaking in anger. How dare he?

“Oh, no. No. You do not get to waltz back in with a simple sorry.... not after treating me like shit the past two weeks...Absolutely not.” I snarled, shoving him again but this time he didn’t budge. Ugh. 

I made to move past him but he grabbed my elbow , yanking me back till I crashed into his chest. It was humiliating , the way my body practically vibrated with pleasure from being near him. His arms around me felt like heaven and I’d spent two whole weeks in purgatory. 

“You need to stay with me Ms. Hwang. I’m your bodyguard, remember?” He whispered, lips pressing against my neck, breathing in my scent  and I glared at his arms.

“No you’re not. Namjoon is!! Where is he?” I asked angrily , but he pulled me closer, hands resting on the bare skin of my back as he hugged me tight, lips latching onto my neck, breathing deep and my knees buckled. i had missed this. So much and even if this was all i got, I wanted to savor it. Savor it even if I hated him for the way he treated me all the fucking time.  

“Missed you.” He whispered, lips wet and wanting , damp on my skin as he pressed kisses along my shoulder. I loved it but I knew he was going to leave me again and that just made me angrier. 

“You’re a liar.” I choked out. 

“No. I’ve lied about a lot of things but never about how you’ve made me feel, Sera. You set me on fire.”

I choked, anger and affection flooding my senses, confounding me because it was like being caught in an endless game of push and pull. 

I trembled, fists punching his shoulder in protest but he didn’t move. I could feel eyes on us and it made me flush. How dare he... How fucking dare he. 

“Let go of me! You said you don’t want me so let me go!” I said petulantly and he made a small noise of protest. 

“That’s not true angel...you know it’s not. I want you... Want you so damn bad , i ache with it.” He whispered the words into my skin and I bristled. 

“Fucking liar, let go of me!” i was going to cry. Actually burst into tears in the middle of the ballroom. 

He didn’t let go of me. 

Instead his fingers fluttered down my bare back, feather light and maddening , tracing a path down my bare skin and I gripped is jacket at the electric contact. 

i trembled, my thighs shaking but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much I wanted him. I swallowed, shaking my head. 

There was no music and we weren’t even near the dance floor. I couldn’t imagine how we must look to the people around us. But it was hard to think of that when I could feel him all over my body, could feel his heartbeat pulse right against mine and when his arms felt like an anchor , grounding me . 

“You think I need you.” My voice shook a little, “ I really fucking don’t Jungkook and I want you to remember that. I don’t need you. I don’t need to touch you . I’m fine with you never touching me ever again. ” I lied, gripping him harder. 

My words didn’t match my actions at all and he seemed to realize it, chuckling lightly and letting me press myself closer into his warm, solid body. He kept his arms around me, waist pressed into mine and thighs hard and solid against mine.

“I know that... i need you far more than you need me.” He said sweetly, kissing my brow and stroking my hair. He slipped his fingers into the strands, running the silky length between his fingertips , his voice brimming with fondness . It hurt, the fact that I couldn’t have this all the time. 

That somehow I was only offered glimpses of this Jungkook. Little snapshots of a what our life together could be but when I tried to draw closer, he always pulled away. 

I glared at him wanting to demand more answers 

. And then my eyes fell on the small dagger sheathed into his belt. My sister’s words floated into my mind. Was Jungkook running from something? 

“Are you in danger?” I whispered, softly. “ Darling, i need to know if you’re in trouble. I need to know.” 

He trembled a little at the endearment. 

“Baby, I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry about me alright. It’s important that you stay safe. “

The words brought no comfort of any kind. 

I stared at him. 

“What is it with the people around me spewing platitudes in my face without telling me what is going on! Do you just not trust me?” I asked desperately, hurt blooming. 

Jungkook swallowed.

“i trust you with my entire life Sera. But, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He said gently.

I rolled my eyes. 

“Please....you’re five centuries old , so can you leave the whole cliché knight in shining armor back in the dark ages and just treat me like your equal? I’m not a helpless damsel in distress Jungkook...!!” 

He nodded, reaching for me again but I pulled away, wrapping an arm around myself. He hesitated, hands stretched out to touch but hovering a few inches away . 

“you’re right. I was out of line. But to be fair your father was very firm that I had to stay away from you...no contact of any kind till tonight. “

“And what’s so special about tonight.?” I asked , upset at how little i knew about what was going on. Jungkook’s gaze softened, and he pressed a palm to my cheek, thumb tracing circles on my jaw, before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. 

“ You’ll see. “ He smiled, “ And as for the rest of it, we’ll talk about this . I promise. We will....tonight after everything ends. I need to go now. Your father’s waiting for me,” 

I clung to him, feeling abandoned all over again. 

“What are you guys upto?” I grabbed his arm but he gently pulled my fingers away. 

“I’ll come find you. “ Was all he said before moving away and I groaned in disbelief. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Uh oh. I can recognize that look. On a scale of one to ten , how much trouble is Jeon Jungkook in?” Namjoon asked gently, watching me glare daggers at the man in question as he hung around near the front of the hall, surrounded by clan leaders.

 He was meeting everyone, apparently a social butterfly and i couldn’t fathom it. The last time we’d had a party he’d sneaked off to get laid with Helena. 

Speaking of who,

“She’s going to castrate him. I can feel it.” The sultry eyed vampire, sat next to me, her long nails tapping the scarlet drape of the table as she watched me, eyes heavy and hot, gaze trained on my neck.

 I’d never felt more like prey. 

“ Nice to meet you Helena.” Namjoon said casually taking the seat next to me. Great.  I was caught between two vampires that knew exactly how gone I was for Jungkook and exactly how ....not gone he was for me.  The night just kept getting better. 

“Always a pleasure daddy.” Helena said , eyes dancing with wicked mischief and Namjoon choked on his wine, spewing it all over the table. I stared at the pair in disgust. 

“Disgusting.” I snapped. “Look at him. He hasn’t looked at me in an hour. How am i supposed to believe that he wants me so much I set his skin on fire.” I demanded shrilly. 

Both of them went quiet. They looked very uncomfortable and i felt myself flush. 

I glared at them , self conscious. 

“What?! Jungkook said so himself.” I protested. 

Both of them began guffawing. 

“I’m never letting him live this down.” Namjoon chuckled and I rolled my eyes. I could feel eyes on me, everywhere. Everyone’s gaze flitted to me every few minutes. Some of the younger vampires hovered a discreet distance away but had their gazes trained on me . 

Everyone looked at me except Jungkook. There really was no justice in this god forsaken world, was there? 

Did he really think I was weak and harmless? I suddenly felt foolish . I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t powerless. 

So , so far from it in fact.

I didn’t use my abilities because of how morally ambiguous they were. My father had drilled it into my head, right from childhood, that I couldn’t use my powers without explicit permission from him and I had listened to him. 

Had played the role of the harmless human who just happened to have really intoxicating blood inside her veins. 

But somehow that had ended up with me being pushed out of the loop with the man I loved. Jungkook thought I was some kind of helpless damsel he needed to keep safe and it just...it irked me. 

It was laughable that he thought something could be dangerous to me. 

It was laughable because I  was  easily the most dangerous creature in this entire room. 

i pulled my phone out, texting furiously.

 I want to see you. 

 I stared at Jungkook waiting for him to see. He pulled his phone out read the screen and to my utter chagrin he slipped the phone back in without answering.

 All right, That’s it.  

I stood up slowly, Namjoon stiffening next to me. 

“Where are you going? “ He asked warily. 

“To mingle.” I said casually. “ you can stay here, daddy. I’ll be fine by myself. “

He spluttered again and Helena laughed lowly. 

“I like her. “ Her voice rang out and i smirked, making a beeline to wards the front of the room, where Jungkook stood with a few other vampires around the same age as him. They all straightened at the sight of me, lust evident in their eyes and I saw Jungkook go a little stiff when he noticed I was alone.

“Where’s Namjoon?” He said shortly. 

“With Helena.” i said with a shrug.” Evening gentlemen.” I smiled softly, parting my lips lightly, letting my tongue dart out and wet them before leaving them parted, tongue peeking out. 

Jungkook pressed in closer, arm darting to wrap around my waist but he seemed to think better of it, pulling away again. 

“Sera...” He began warningly but i cut him off. Jungkook didn’t know what he had. 

And I was too fucking beautiful to be ignored tonight. 

“Isn’t someone starting the music? What a terrible bore this party has been...” I said loudly and the men scrambled closer, almost tripping over each other. 

Pathetic really but at least they served their purpose. 

“Should we get you another drink, Sera?” One of them said. 

“Let me go find that Dj...” The tallest of the lot wandered off. 

“You’re right..are you hungry..? Where’s that waiter?” The one right next to me lifted a hand, waving the nearest uniformed helped and I smirked at Jungkook. 

“Having fun?” I asked. 

“You need to go stay with Namjoon.” He said stiffly.

“where’s the fun in that? “ I hesitated, locking my eyes with him and lightly lifting my heel up to rest on the chair right next to him. The slit in my dress fell open, exposing the entire length of my leg, especially the red lace of my garter. 

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the dagger strapped to my thigh, the red and gold stark against the milky white flesh. I rand a forefinger up from my knee to the top of the garter belt, lightly circling the tip over the sharp edge of the dagger. 

“Don’t...” He growled. I smirked.

“Don’t what?” I whispered. 

“Don’t fucking do it, baby... I’ll be really , really mad if you do. “ He was almost shaking with the effort to not grab me and i could feel it. Feel the urge to put me in my place, simmering beneath his skin but he was helpless. 

Any wrong move on me and he would have a dozen daggers in his heart within the next second. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about .” I feigned ignorance, purposefully pressing the thick of my finger into the edge of the dagger, gasping as it broke skin, tearing my flesh and drawing out my blood. 

A collective gasp ran through the crowd around us and it was quite the sight, an entire group of century old Vampires going stiff as boards,  nostrils flared pupils blown wide open as they all stared at me .

 I smiled wide, trying to inject a note of contrition into my voice. 

“Oops. That was clumsy of me. .” I giggled, holding my finger up. the blood beaded over and spilled , trickling down my wrist and I locked my gaze with Jungkook’s, bringing my arm up, licking the scarlet fluid up, tracing its path with my tongue all the way to where the dagger had nicked me before sticking the finger into my mouth with a lewd pop. 

A vampire, about three feet away from me was breathing heavily , grabbing the chair next to him and sinking into it. His fangs were out and his breathing was erratic. i watched his eyes flash red and I laughed.

“I’m sorry. “ I said sweetly and he gave me a blank smile.

“That’s alright, my lady . “ He was almost choking from the effort to stay composed. Poor thing. I let my gaze flit back to Jungkook who had a terrifyingly blank look on his face. 

“You little whore.” Jungkook whispered softly and i lurched. 

“Yours . If you want me. But if you don’t...then anyone’s really.” I shrugged unrepentant. 

“Really? You think any of the vampires here’s gonna want you after the stunt you just pulled? No one wants a needy little slut.” He said casually but I could see him shaking a little. There was a teeny tiny crack in that cocky attitude and I’d never wanted to stick my fingers in something so bad. 

I felt myself grin in anticipation. 

“It’s not about what I think, Jungkook. Its about what I  know.” 

He stared at me. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You think I’m helpless, Jungkookie.... But the truth is... I can turn every single person here into my own personal  marionette if i wanted to. “ I shrugged. 

Jungkook’s eyebrows lifted, lips parting in surprise. 

“I’m listening.” 

I moved to the table in the corner, patting the chair next to me. He took the seat next to me and I smiled. 

“Now watch....” I snapped my fingers, signaling the waiter with the glass jar of lemon soda  and vodka in his tray. 

“Can you let my father know I want to leave the party early with Jungkook here?” I asked gently. The waiter flushed, but nodded and I casually slipped my finger into the lemonade jar, dipping lightly in the fluid.

Jungkook grimaced . 

“That’s disgusting.” 

I laughed. 

“Now let’s see who gets to drink it.” I followed the waiter as he moved around stopping in front of a group of very young vampires, about four or five of them. Two girls and three guys. They all took glasses of vodka from the waiter and i sighed.

“You know what makes my blood so powerful Jungkookie? “ I said softly. “ It’s the fact that it is  sentient.” 

Jungkook went stock still still next to me, lips parting in shock.

“What?” He croaked. 

I nodded.

“My blood is sentient. It can feel and see and control. If my blood mixes with yours, it will dominate your thoughts and feelings. I will literally take over you. But it also needs my instruction. So it’ll put you in a trance..... Leave you feeling boneless and disoriented , easier to manipulate. People think its because it tastes so good and they enjoy the feeling. They don’t know what the fuck they’re opening themselves up to...by letting me inside. “ I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“I’m painted as the beautiful, kind and precious human who needs to be protected....only because I am anything  but. In this room, Jungkook....I’m probably the one capable of wrecking the most havoc.” 

“Sera...”

“Nobody knows except for my father and I because...well... just the scent of it makes people chase me down. Can you imagine what they’d do to me if they knew the true extent of my powers.” I said bitterly. I let my gaze shift back to the kids with the drinks. The drinks that were tainted with my life essence.  

I watched them take sips of their drink and felt the mild tingling in the back of my head. Like a gossamer thread forming and wrapping around me and I swallowed. It was easy to ignore and I never had any trouble ignoring it when I let my family feed from me. Because I trusted them. 

But these kids though. My body thrummed, focusing on one person. 

The girl in the red halter top. 

“See the girl with the red top and black skirt....” I swallowed. “ She slit the throat of an old woman on her way here.” 

Jungkook swore next to me. 

“I can see the woman... she’s on her knees , begging for her life. She’s really old.” 

That wasn’t all. i could feel the grip of the dagger, the push of the blade against skin, the pull as the flesh gave in, the blood spurting out onto my fingers the scent of death as she bled out. 

I felt nausea bubble and I severed the connection forcibly. The girl’s pretty face didn’t match her filthy insides. i couldn’t stay in her head. The tendrils began wrapping around my head as  the four of them took more sips. 

“When I want... i can influence their thoughts. It takes more effort but it’s possible. it’s why my father wanted to make sure you actually wanted to be with me. He thought I’d coerced you . which I can . if I want. But I didn’t. I don’t do that ever. ” I shook my head. 

Jungkook’s brows raised. 

“By coerce you mean....”

“It can be as simple as influence your decision... but if I really put in the effort, i can make people physically do what I wanted. “ 

“Physically?”

I smiled.

“Remember the boys from my college ? the ones who nearly drained me out?” 

He nodded. 

“My father didn’t have them defanged. They did it to themselves. Literally stuck their own hand into their mouth and ripped their fangs out . Because I wanted them too.” 

Jungkook looked like he’d stopped breathing. 

I swallowed.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to tell you that if you’re trying to protect me by withholding information, its kind of unnecessary. I can take care of myself.” 

“Alright. What do you want to know?”

“Just tell me what’s going on  “ I sighed.  Jungkook gave me a piercing look. 

“Remember Joo Won’s mother?” 

“The witch you killed?”

“Her father’s out for my blood. He doesn’t know where I am as of now. Your father thinks one of his lackeys must be in attendance today so he’ll know where I am.... and  he’ll come for me. And when he does... I’m going to end it .”

I stared at him.

“ Okay. “ I swallowed. “ How dangerous is he?” 

Jungkook laughed without mirth. 

“I’m not sure if I’m coming out of this alive.” 

Blood rushed to my ears, so fast I felt momentarily lightheaded. My entire body rejected the mere idea of Jungkook getting hurt. And to hear him talk of it so lightly, it messed me up badly. The fragile hold I had on my mind snapped. 

“No.” I said angrily. 

Across the room, the girl in the red halter stumbled,  clutching her head .

  Anger and the urge to hurt clawed up inside me and I tried to get it under control. 

Fuck, I had to sever the connection fully before i did something terrible to her..

 But it wasn’t happening, 

In fact the more i tried to get away the more her conscience seemed to be wrapping around mine., 

 Distance. I had to put distance between us. 

I need to leave now,  I pushed the thought in through the connection and  i watched her as she stumbled away from her friends, hands buried in her hair.

“Sera what the fuck... “ Jungkook grabbed my arm, eyes wide and panicked and I trembled. 

I felt guilty and scared because there was a reason i didn’t do this and the reason was quite simple. This power...or whatever you wanted to call it, It was bigger than me. I couldn’t control it . 

My blood was sentient and sometimes it could control me , just as easily as it controlled others. 

“She’s just leaving... I just made her leave because I’m not .. I can’t. ...fuck...” My head swam as I tried to get my bearings. 

“ okay that’s it...we’re getting out of here.... ” Jungkook stood up, reaching for me and I blinked, disoriented and dizzy. “Come here, baby I got you...” 

I let him wrap his hand around my waist, half lifting , half dragging me out of the ballroom and into the hallway. I gripped his chest, stumbling. I wasn’t tired, just struggling to get my head on straight . 

But the scent of him calmed me. 

“I need you.” I whispered. “ I need you to be safe Jungkook. I’ve spent too long pretending to be something I’m not but with you... I’m.. You... You make me feel human. Truly human. “ 

“Fuck... hang on. I’m gonna take you to my cottage.”

I blinked

“your what?”

“My cottage. Hang on...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Jungkook opened the door to the cottage, I felt a little like myself again. But my body thrummed , my skin on fire, my fingers trembling with adrenaline. 

“you look like you need to lie down.” He said gently.

I glared at him. 

“The last thing I need is to lie down.” I snapped.

He held his hands up.

“Alright. Calm down, baby..... Why are you so upset?” He asked soothingly and I scoffed.

“ You fucked me in public and the next day  you looked like you’d been handed a death sentence, when my father suggested that you court me and then... you disappeared for two whole weeks....and now you turn up and tell me that your life is in danger. You do all this shit and I’m  not allowed to be upset? ” I said angrily.

He hesitated. 

“I merely meant it would be dangerous. I am not actively trying to die.” He said softly.

“As for the rest of it.... I’m not the same person I was a month ago Sera.... You.. You’ve managed to claw you way into my heart and the only reason I didn’t want to court you was because of what I was involved in. I told you that...the baggage I’m carrying is too much for me to even think about being with you.... That’s the only reason. “

I stared at him. 

“Are you telling me you fell for me too?”

Jungkook smirked a little.

“You were fucking me all the time without touching me. How could I not fall for that utterly shameless gaze of yours. You were your heart on your sleeve and your heart is always filled with filthy thoughts about me Sera. You make it way too obvious. “ He said teasingly. 

“I don’t want you to die.” I said petulantly. 

“That makes two of us. “ He smiled. “ What do you want, Sera?” 

“Want you.” I said automatically, too raw and upset to think too much about it.

“You have me.” He stepped closer, hands resting on my shoulder, eyes earnest and i hated how much I wanted to believe him . But heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak had taught me that it was all a lie. I didn’t have him and now ....there was a possibility I could never have him. 

“No, I don’t.” I shook my head, angry. “ Don’t lie to me. I don’t have you.” 

Jungkook made to touch me again but I shoved him away, hard.

“you’re angry. “ He said thoughtfully. “ I understand that. You have every right to be angry. And I’m sorry I can’t tell you what you want to hear right now...Not until this whole debacle ends. But Sera...look at me...”

I bit my lips staring at him.

“I’m here. Now. I’m not going anywhere. It’s just us. You and I. Don’t worry about what happens next. Don’t. Let’s not worry about any of that. I’m here and I’m telling you I’m yours. You have me now.” 

I stared at him, tilting my head as I took him in. 

He didn’t move , merely staring at me evenly.

“You know.... you aren’t the only one who hates being ignored.” I said softly. 

I felt weird. 

Different. 

None of the usual nervousness or anticipation but instead a sort of burning need to  take. To reach out and pin him down , force him to follow through on his promise that I  had him. 

“ I’ve been giving too much of myself to you, Jungkook ...for way too long. I think it’s time I get something back.” I whispered. 

His lips curled in a small, impish smile and he looked a decade younger. His eyes flashed with mischief and anticipation. He looked eager....desperate even and I wondered if this is what I looked like all the time with him. 

“And what would that be...my queen?” he whispered meekly. 

“You. “ I said simply. “ All of you. Your words... your pain...your pleasure... your moans and your very breath. I want to take all of it.” 

I could see his pupils dilating even from the distance between us. 

“Its yours, sweetheart” Jungkook  bowed his head gently, holding his arms out. “Tell me where you want me...how you want me...” 

I glanced around the room. Not the bed. Not yet. 

There was a very sturdy looking chair in front of the small table in the corner. 

“Put that in the middle of the room and sit down.” I pointed at the chair. 

He smiled.

“You want me to stay dressed?” He asked carefully and I nodded. 

“Very well.” He moved to get the chair, placing it in  front of the bed. He sat down carefully. 

“Anything else?” He asked gently.

I narrowed my eyes at him 

“Yes. Keep your mouth shut unless I ask you something.” I said with a smile. His eyes widened in surprise. But he didn’t protest. 

I took in the sight of him on the chair, dressed in his perfectly fitted tux , legs spread and hands on his knees, eyes wide and alert as he stared at me. Pretty red mouth shut obediently. 

I moved closer till I was standing right between his thighs. His hands came up to grip my waists instinctively and I glared.

“Hands’ to yourself Jungkook. You don’t just get to treat me as you fucking like and then touch me without my permission.” I snapped. 

He lowered his hands , letting them rest on his knees again.

“Do you want to touch me , baby?” I whispered pressed my palm to his face before letting my fingers trail up to his hair. it was soft and silky to the touch, the strands like fine silk. 

“Yes.” He answered simply. 

“Then you need to earn it.” I threaded my fingers' into his raven locks, gripping hard and yanking his head back . i stared, fascinated by the ivory length of his neck, the little mole there and i pressed a kiss to his skin. I let my teeth sink in , just a little and then a little bit more. When he shifted, I pulled back, licking the skin to soothe the sting.  His breath caught and he gasped, eyes widening a bit and a small, ‘ fuck’ leaving his lips. 

I pulled back , keeping my fingers in his hair , gripping lightly, before reaching down with my free hand. 

“You have such a pretty neck and it make me wonder what it feels for your kind...sinking your teeth into people and feeding from them. Too bad I don’t have fangs. But you know what I do have?” I winked . 

I brought my leg up, the front end of my shoe resting on the small empty space on the chair , right in the V if his legs. If he moved even a little, my toes would brush the straining length of his cock visible even through the black of his slacks. He was so hard I knew it must’ve hurt. 

I gripped his hair harder and tilted his head down to he could stare at my thighs, specifically the dagger in my garter. 

“I want a taste . Of you. Can I?” I asked gently staring at him, fingers fiddling with the dagger and unsheathing it. 

He nodded. 

“Words. Please.” I smiled.

“Yes...fuck yes.....please...Sera...” 

“Good boy.” I winked, bringing the dagger up to his neck. It was really sharp and I used the tip to lightly draw a small dash, an inch below his ear. I watched the blade tear through the flesh, light and delicate, the skin cleaving and scarlet liquid bubbling up. I chased the flow with my tongue, licking it into my mouth and Jungkook trembled in the chair, jerking forward.

The movement jolted my foot onto his crotch and he grunted, grabbing my ankle when I made to move it away, keeping my heeled foot on his clothed cock. I swallowed,  little out of my league but i stared at him, at the sheer intensity of the desperation in his eyes and I inhaled ....before gently bringing my toes down to press into his cock. 

He moaned, thighs trembling and I  dropped the dagger to the floor.

I slipped both my hands into his hair, holding his head in place as i bent low to capture his lips with mine, sticking my tongue inside his mouth while grinding my foot down into his cock. I licked into his mouth, chasing the warm heady taste of him, my fingers tightening in his hair for leverage and I wondered if he was wet.... If his cock was weeping precum, dribbling into his slacks .

I pulled back to stare into his eyes but he had them shut.

“Look at me.!” i demanded,”  wanna see you...” 

His eyes fluttered open, doe- like and warm and swimming with pleasure and I’d never felt more powerful in my life. I moved my foot slowly, in small controlled circles for a few seconds. 

“You wanna cum in your pants like this? Rutting on my foot like a little mutt? Or do you want to get on the bed and touch me like you wanted to...?” I whispered softly. 

Jungkook swallowed and his fingers tightened on my ankle. . 

“Wanna cum like this.” He said taking me by surprise. I raised an eyebrow. 

“Really... then what about me...?  I want to get fucked too Jungkook ..? How’re you gonna do that if you cum so fast.....” I snapped, gripping his hair harder and he groaned. 

“I... I’ll fuck you again... i promise.. I’ll fuck you hard and make you feel good... just..let me cum...please.. It fucking hurts...” The way his voice cracked a bit on the last few words made my heart jerk inside my ribs. I found myself fighting the urge to give him everything. 

I smiled instead, kissing his lips again.

“Thank God for fast refractory periods huh, my big bad vampire?” I bit his lips, tugging it between my teeth , before reaching between us and slipping the shoe off my foot. Jungkook trembled, gripping me for support when I pulled my foot away and I let him cling to me for a second, before dropping the shoe down and pressing my bare foot on his erection. I spread my toes over the head, pressing down just a little and he inhaled sharply when i circled my toe on the wet patch . 

“Go on them. Make yourself cum.” I whispered, leaning down and kissing him again. He grabbed my ankle with both hands, rutting up into the balls of my feet, hips thrusting up and I let him lick into my mouth, messy and wet as he chased his pleasure. 

I felt him stiffen underneath me, followed by a wash of dampness under my sole and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close and letting him bury his face into my neck as he trembled through the aftershocks. He gripped my waist, hands shaking as he held me and i waited, worried if I should take my foot off or not. I could feel my legs beginning to cramp and I swallowed.

“You okay?” i whispered.

“Yeah.” He grunted. “ Fuck..that was...” he laughed a little. 

“We’re not done.” I said pressing a kiss to his cheeks and stroking his hair back gently. 

He hummed, gently gripping my ankle and lifting my foot off his crotch. I brought my leg down, wincing a bit. 

“Should we get on the bed?” He whispered. 

I nodded, yelping when he stood up with me still in his arms, he carried me over to the bed, dropping me lightly. 

“Strip.” I said quickly. “ All of it. Want you naked and stretched out on this bed for me.” 

He moved quickly, stepping out of his clothes with ease and I sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the black tie he discarded. I took off my panties, leaving my dress and the garter belt on. 

 Jungkook naked was a sight i could never tire off and I watched as he climbed into the bed, lying down in the center, legs splayed slightly and hands by his side. 

“Bring your wrists together up over your head” I said quickly and he moved his wrists up , letting me tie them to the head board with his tie as i sat straddled on his chest. I was wet, sopping wet and I felt the trail of dampness I left on his rock hard abs. 

“I’m gonna sit on your face and you’re gonna make me cum. And then , I’m gonna ride you .” I whispered. 

“Fuck.” 

“That’s the plan.”

I scooted forward, resting one knee close to either shoulder before gripping the head board with one hand and the hair on top of his head with the other. Tugging him closer, I lowered my pussy onto his mouth, groaning when i felt soft pressure of his tongue against my center, licking tentatively. 

Jungkook knew what he was doing, and he licked into me with practiced ease tongue slipping into my slit, curling against the walls, before tracing circles around my clit. He used his lips to suckled on the hardened nub , following it up with quick little licks and i slipped a hand between my legs, stuffing three fingers into my cunt to get myself off faster. 

“Oh...fuck... I want... “ I could feel myself shaking and he sped up his movement, licking my lit in quick little strokes and my orgasm hit me like a wave, drowning me in pleasure. I scooted down before losing my strength, collapsing on top of him. The orgasm having knocked me right out of my headspace. I was trembling and shaking, lethargic and completely out of it. 

”Baby...you okay?” Jungkook’s concerned voice came from above and I whimpered. 

“I’m... I’m sorry.... I’m so tired... I...” 

“Don’t worry baby .. i got you. “

I heard the sound of wood splintering and blinked, glancing up. Jungkook had tugged his hands free from the restraint, breaking the headboard in the process. 

I gawked at the scene in disbelief. 

“Did you just....?”

He grabbed the hem of my dress, ripping it up and off me quickly. 

“Fuck..... want to pound you into the fucking mattress my little princess... Such a little tiger aren’t you kitten... so fierce and hot... i loved it baby...you were so good to me ...made me feel so fucking good...” He maneuvered me onto my back and i felt myself blushing at the praise, face heating up as i gripped his shoulders. 

He grabbed the back of my thigh, spreading my legs before lining himself up against my pussy. 

“Fuck...” He slid right in , knocking the breath out of me and i clung to him, whimpering as he pounded into me, hips working so fact I was sure I was going to have trouble walking for a week after this. 

I could feel my orgasm build from the sheer intensity of the thrusts, the hard thick length of his cock pounding into my cunt till i felt swollen and bruised and tender and when it finally tore through me , i was drooling a little, eyes damp with tears and fingers numb from gripping him too hard. 

Jungkook fucked me through the orgasm and chased his own each push of his hips leaving me battered and I bit my lips to stay conscious . When he finally stilled, his cock throbbing as he came for the second time, filling my insides with the wet warmth of his cum, I felt myself shake like a leaf caught in a  storm, my entire body ice cold and trembling. A thin layer of sweat coated my body and I was pretty sure I wouldn’t recover from this for a really long time

“My pretty pretty queen....” He whispered , pressing kisses all over my face as he hugged me closer and I mewled at the warmth of him. 

“Don’t leave me .” i whispered, unable to fight the tug of sleep and exhaustion. 

“I’m right here, baby.” His voice was soothing against my ear as he held me closer. 

Maybe I could have him after all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note : okay. well. that happened.  if you don’t give me feedback this will be the last smut scene. 

jk

but please do give me feedback . i love hearing from you guys. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[whatanoof]

Cal Kestis Headcanons that No One Asked For

So I’ve slowly been going through story mode of Jedi: Fallen Order, and I’m about to go to the Fort Inquisitorius so I haven’t even finished yet but I’m absolutely in love with Cal Kestis, so here are some hc about him, romantic and non-romantic.

SPOILERS FOR JEDI: FALLEN ORDER

Cal x female!reader

You both love it when you play with his hair. The first time was almost an accident on your part, because you were just sitting behind him on the bunk while he’s tinkering with his saber and staring at the back of his head. It’s so red, and you’d honestly rarely seen such a bright color naturally occurring, much less growing out of a human head? Your hand brushed a strand almost of its own volition, and you both just froze. He slowly turned to look at you, and you almost stopped breathing because Did you just mess up did you just fuck up the relationship oh shit shit shit--. And he just whispers, “Uh, could you do that again?” And you’re in such a state of shock and relief that you just scoot back on the bunk and gesture at your open lap. Cere walks in on the two of you later, him dopey and almost asleep with his head in your lap, your fingers running through the silky strands. She doesn’t say anything, even when Greez points out the two small braids that you left at the nape of his neck.

He’s so competitive. Like come on, this man refused to back down from  two or three separate fights against fully-fledged Inquisitors and one insane Jedi Master while he was still technically a Padawan. So he won’t let you beat him. At anything. You’re watering the latest seed that he brought back from a planet? Bam, he’s got Greez’s special plant food and he’s giving every single one of them a five-course meal. If you’re a Jedi, and you’re meditating in the back of the Mantis? You open your eyes after ten or so minutes and he’s right there in front of you, doing that little concentration face that you fell in love with so easily. If you’re a Jedi, you’re evenly matched in almost everything that you do in terms of abilities, and you teach each other where you’re not. Greez is terrified of watching you two spar, because you don’t hold back, but you’re also so equal to him in skill that it’s a whirl of light and blocking known attacks. 

Him and BD-1 were a package deal, but as soon as you were welcomed aboard the Mantis, Cal couldn’t believe how easily the little droid warmed up to you. Of course, BD sticks with Cal and is his right hand man on adventures, but Cal no longer occupies 100 percent of BD’s free time. You refuse to tell Cal exactly where, but you found a spot right behind BD’s “head” where if you scratch it, the droid is on the ground and kicking a leg in the air in happiness. If you’re a mechanic, you can usually be found in the back, tinkering with BD’s processor to make it run more efficiently, or oiling his joints again, or designing new paint jobs for the happy little droid. Either way, you’ve stolen a decent fraction of the droid’s affection, and none of the Mantis crew has any idea how you did it. It’s actually the first thing that urged you and Cal to start spending more time together, and you remember BD’s happy little hops after you’d finally kissed Cal for the first time.

There is absolutely no backing for this, but I think that Cal can sing. Nothing fancy, of course, it’s not like there are vocal lessons available on Bracca or in the Jedi Order, but he can carry a tune. It’s sometimes the only way you can fall asleep on the Mantis, because even though Greez and the crew make it cozy, it’s not home. But as soon as you’re curled up in the twin-sized bunk, and Cal starts humming to you, you’re out before he’s finished the chorus. Sometimes the songs are happy, but they’re often little ditties that he heard from the clones before Order 66, or mourning songs that fellow workers on Bracca would sing during the night when the rain was pounding on the metal and creating a natural rhythm and harmony for the tired mechanics. They’re songs of lost love, fallen brothers, and vague longings for newer, better lives. You fall asleep to his soothing voice, but you often wake with an ache in your heart for the suffering and pain that Cal has experienced and witnessed in his short life.

He’s ticklish. He hates that you know. He hates that you told Merrin, and now she can blackmail him into getting her favorite foods from supply markets. But you love the childish giggles that you’re able to pull out of him when you finally corner him and run your fingers over his neck. Tickle fights always end in make-out sessions.

+18 NSFW under the cut

So... Cal never had the chance to understand wanting intimacy before you, sexual and non-sexual. He was terrified the first time he looked at you and didn’t recognize that strange feeling in his chest. He’d never felt it before, was there something wrong with him? Was he sick? It takes a sit-down with Greez for him to figure out what’s going on, and it’s even scarier than the possibility of illness. Jedi were forbidden to love, it had always been a taboo in his mind, even if he had never had the opportunity to find out what it felt like.

He pushes it away at first. He ignores the flutters in his chest when you’re laughing with Merrin at dinner. He denies the complete shorting out of his brain when he accidentally brushes too close to you while trying to get to your shared bunk. 

He has his first wet dream, and wakes up absolutely throbbing with the memory of the dream that involved you and him and way too little clothes for his repressed childhood. He tries to grit his teeth and go back to sleep, but it’s too uncomfortable, and he can’t get the image of your body out of his mind. Jedi Masters always gave their Padawans the sex talk, and Jaro Tapal was nothing if not a good Master. So Cal knows basically what he has to do to relieve the tension so that he can get a little more sleep. He just doesn’t expect to lose control of himself to the point where he grunts your name when he comes. His heart just about stops when he hears the bed above him creak, and he yanks the sheets over his head until he’s sure that you’re not awake. He gets up early the next morning so that he can clean up without fear of you catching him.

After you get together, Cal is even more scared of the relationship. He had checked with Cere, and though she skews more traditional in her beliefs, she knows that Cal’s trauma and overcoming of it is more than she could hope to understand. Maybe this relationship could bring a stability to his life that nothing else could provide. She cautions him on the power of Dark Side, and how the fear of losing love dragged many great Jedi astray. But she also trusts you, and she knows that you would never do anything to hurt him. She hadn’t missed the lovesick puppy eyes you’d been sending his way.

You start out promising to take it slow. Neither of you had much experience in the areas of relationships and dating, much less sex, so at the beginning, you make sure to clarify that there’s no pressure to rush through anything. It’s mostly just spending more time together, slowly exploring each other. You both learn about each other’s pasts, and spend time talking through the different experiences, rationalizing and comforting each other. Before you even begin to experiment in bed, he’s become your best friend.

When you finally do, it’s short and sweet and perfect for two people who are trying to take their relationship slow. You teach him about what you like, and he gasps out in between moans what feels good and ohhh, what feels even better. 

Okay, a bit of a time skip here, but after Cal’s more experienced, he is a sucker for you riding his thigh. He’s built and strong, so the ridge of muscle beneath you and rubbing against every single spot that sparks delicious warmth in your belly brings you to climax so much more quickly than you could have expected. He loves looking up at you, mouth open and eyes half shut in ecstasy as you chase your high, your heat leaving sticky wetness on his thigh that only serves to make him harder. He’ll grind his leg up if only to hear that heavenly little squeal and whimper that he can get out of you. You’re beautiful to him even on the worst days, but when you’re above him, sweaty and on the brink of coming all over his thigh? Stars, you’re the most glorious thing he’s ever seen, and he rode a shyyyo bird over the untouched forest of Kashyyyk.

Sadcanons. Don’t read if you don’t want sad feels tonight

There is no denying that Cal’s not a whole person at the beginning of the storyline. He definitely regains some of himself back, but there are parts of him that I believe died with the clones and died with Jaro. There are times where he has nightmares, and when he wakes up, he doesn’t want to be with anyone. Even you. He’ll lapse into silence for hours and days at a time, staring at the blank wall while you try to get him to eat or drink something because damnit it’s been days and he hasn’t so much as moved. Your heart breaks at every sign of his damage, because you know that there is only so much you can do to help. This is a journey that he has to complete independently, though it doesn’t mean that you won’t be here for him when he wakes up.

You trace his scars to comfort him. He’s insecure about them, and is terrified of the memories that they bring back. But when you’re there, loving even his jagged edges, it’s all marginally better and he can bear to live with himself a little more.

He comforts you too. Whatever your background, the Clone Wars and the Purge gave everyone a little bit of damage, and you were no different. He holds you when you’re crying, and comforts you after your nightmares. He’ll purposefully pick a happy song to sing when he knows that you’re down, and he never fails to make you laugh through the tears.

His psychometry allows him to understand your trauma better than you could hope to understand his. Before you even allow him to sense your past, you make him promise to not internalize any of it. You know that he would, though it makes no logical sense. He promises. 

Oops I made myself yearn. Now back to our regularly scheduled program of single life. School’s kicking my ass right now, but this made me feel better so I can’t complain too much.

But in all seriousness, I recommend this game 10/10. The Star Wars content is absolutely impeccable, the graphics are gorgeous, it gives me a thrill in my chest to know that every single second is canon. Cal is a beautifully written character, and even though his story breaks my heart, it’s written so well. He doesn’t lash out in anger, rather internalizing his fears and pain in a way that I can relate to, and he’s scarily powerful. It’s a feel good story for me despite the pain, and I’m looking forward to finishing it this weekend!