#and they ultimately decide to forgive for themselves which i get is what they were advocating for

[autumnrory]

this season of ted lasso saying sam should forgive racists who vandalized the restaurant and  then you know, dropping anything to do with that storyline immediately afterwards

and the saying jamie should forgive his abusive father bc hating him apparently isn’t good for him or whatever

doesn’t feel great tbh

[darcytaylor]

Are people mad that Luke Newton has a girlfriend? Or is it something more? A deep dive. Part 1 of 3.

I want to start out by saying, I have been following the Bridgerton train since the season one release on Christmas day. It was a show that I knew nothing about and I became enamoured.

I have followed along with the show and the actors since the release. I find looking at human behaviour fascinating, as I work in a very customer service based industry. It is so interesting to me to see how the actors have conducted themselves, especially Luke Newton.

This post will be about why I think people are truly upset by his behaviour.

(some of which I agree with and some I don't)

Luke Newton has been quite the monogamous dater. He dated his fellow co-star from The Lodge, Sophie Simnett. They were both very young at the time, it seemed like a sweet relationship, but young love normally never lasts.

Then he got into a relationship with Jade Davies. She is very active in the Theatre world and it seemed like this was a very good pairing. I think they complimented each other well. You could tell they loved each other. Ultimately they broke up at the beginning of 2023, because they 'grew apart', or so the tabloids have stated.

I do know that Jade did receive some hate (which is fairly common in the industry that Luke is in). I personally don't think that it was as bad as people made it out to be. A lot of people loved seeing Luke in love and proud of his girlfriend. They supported them as a couple. They supported it because there really wasn't anything to not support.

After the breakup is where Luke Newton went off the rails (in my opinion). He decided to become the typical fuck boy and didn't keep it secret. But he was just getting out of a long term relationship, it's not an abnormal things to do.

This is where he made his first mistake - he made his dating life public and it definitely looked questionable. (and yes he made it public by following certain people and posting about all of his vacations). He had a 'type' going into this time in his life (young dancers). But ultimately fans were forgiving because he just got out of a long term relationship. He was hurting and it's okay to spiral a little at a time like that. Fans supported him because they wanted him to have a 'hot boy summer'.

At some point he meets his confirmed/unconfirmed girlfriend Antonia. She seems to get a long with his close friends and people took notice of them spending time together. But I think fans thought he was still spiralling, so he wouldn't actually get into a relationship, he was only having fun.

Then the New Years kiss video was released. Fans did not like this. But ultimately I don't think that was what caused the biggest issue, I think his second mistake was befriending her on Instagram. This is what sealed them as an unconfirmed relationship. Had they decided to not make this decision, I think people could/would have left them/her be. It could have been summed up with 'it was just a New Years' kiss.

I think it's possible that Luke had the intention to make this relationship public. I think that could have been his goal that day. But because of the press tour coming up, he was told not to (maybe). I also think that made Luke spiral even more, he was upset that he couldn't show off his girlfriend (and when you like or love someone you do want to do that) and decided to take some of his issues out on his career and fans (by liking everyone of her photos, letting her post photos with his clothing, letting her post photos with his arms and legs). (I want to add that he should have the right to do that, but in the world of celebrities, they have to do things like this with care or it will backfire).

His third mistake was mentioning that he was the most like his character on Bridgerton (he has said this multiple times) and his cast-mates also say the same thing. Hear me out on this one -

It can be easy to separate the art from the artist. That is simple enough for people to do (I have seen it happen on many occasions). But there were multiple times that he would say he is the most like his character (saying this made the task of separating difficult) - and lets be real Colin was made for the female gaze. He is charming, attractive, loving and isn't superficial. He fell in love with the 'outcast', the one that isn't the 'typical' beauty. Fans held onto this, because Colin as a character made them feel seen. They couldn't separate Luke from Colin because he kept saying he was like Colin.

When they look at Antonia they don't see the outcast, they don't see the girl that looks like them, they don't see a 'regular' woman. She is the opposite of who Colin would end up with, so that would mean that Luke wouldn't go for her. Antonia looks like the girl who made fun of you in high school, the girl who on the outside looks like she hasn't had a trouble in her life, a girl who's social media is all about vacationing and looks staged, she doesn't seem real.

(I want to note that I have no idea who she is as a person, she could be the nicest person).

So now that Luke has made a bunch of people mad they will go on a deep dive. The first thing that people will look into is the age. And she is quite young. Too young in fact. I am on the side that someone his age shouldn't be dating someone who's brain isn't fully developed (this is a scientific fact), ESPECIALLY since there is also a power dynamic. (It's okay if you do not feel the same way).

Luke's fourth mistake was letting his friends post things about himself on social media. Yes, I know that you can't control everybody in your life. But they are his BEST FRIENDS, Luke could have asked them to not post anything about himself. That would have been the smart more.

Luke's fifth mistake was not having Nicola and the Bridgerton Instagram posts with notifications on. He should have liked every single god damn post that they posted. This would have appeased the fans, the fans love that shit. But instead he would like every single one of Antonia's photos and forget about his job. This decision further bothered fans because he stated that he was moving his social media to be work related. I will be honest - his social media is kinda a mess. His social media presence is definitely a mistake he has made.

He goes on the Bridgerton press tour with Nicola (who is amazing at her job), and all of the imperfections of his life are even more exaggerated, because Nicola is fucking great. Even though Luke and Nicola are a pair when it comes to Bridgerton, people will still compare them.

When looking at this whole situation I think that Luke is continuing to spiral. I think that he can be a bit stubborn and he is doubling down. He has to know the mistakes he has made. He has to realize that he could have dated Antonia and not made it a whole situation/scene. If a celebrity doesn't want you to know something about their personal lives, you won't know.

Final thoughts - I think that Luke didn't think about how some of his actions would/could have been perceived, I think he was ill prepared in some of his actions, I think that he is still learning to be in the spotlight, I think he is somewhat immature, I think that he is being destructive to his career.

I'm convinced Luke wanted to come forward with his relationship months ago. I believe he was told not to and he didn't like that answer. He has shown some spite because of it. There are also other mistakes that I didn't get into, if you want a part 2 let me know? haha

Have I lost some respect for Luke during the past year? Yes.

Do I realize that it must be hard to be in the spotlight? Yes.

Do I think that if Luke continues on this destructive path he will regret it? Yes.

Should we also give him a bit of grace? Yes.

Do I think he is talented? Yes.

Do I think this will ultimately effect him? No.

If you have gotten this far, congratulations and thank you for reading! It's been a fascinating deep dive!

[icedragonlizard]

What if Sectonia and Max Haltmann were to hypothetically come back to life in my verse?

In my verse, Morpho Knight will literally never bring people back to life. One someone dies, they don't come back. All Morpho Knight does is just bring the souls of the dead to the afterlife.

But, hypothetically-speaking, let's just assume that Morpho Knight suddenly decides to bring Sectonia and Max Haltmann back to life for some reason.

What would happen, then? How would Taranza and Susie react to them coming back to life, and how might they reconnect with them?

I have it thought out as to what'd happen if these revivals were to hypothetically happen in my verse.

Click on the 'Keep reading' tag to read about it.

First, let's start with Sectonia.

In the afterlife, Sectonia is back to her original spider form. If Morpho Knight were to bring her back to life, she'd come back as a spider.

Taranza would be so, so excited if she came back. He'd immediately come rushing to her direction and be filled with joyful tears. He'd tell her that he's so glad that she's back and attempt to hug her. He'd profusely apologize for giving her the mirror that corrupted her, and he'd talk about how they can finally get their long lost happy ending.

.... But it wouldn't actually be so simple.

The problem would be how Sectonia herself would act. In the afterlife, she's enormously guilt-stricken over all the atrocities she's committed, and this would carry over to her hypothetically being brought back to life.

She'd believe that she didn't deserve to be brought back to life. She'd tell Taranza that she doesn't understand why he still loves her so much after how badly she treated him, and would tell him that she's the one that needs to apologize instead of him because he didn't know the mirror was going to corrupt her, and that her actions after being corrupted were totally inexcusable.

She'd tell him that he has every right to resent her after the way she treated him in her corrupted form. She'd tell him that she doesn't deserve him, and that she doesn't deserve a happy ending with him. She'd think that he's trying to absolve her of her sins way too easily.

Taranza would be upset over her acting like this. He'd be heartbroken to see her be so distraught, and it'd just make him even more guilty about giving her the mirror. He'd tell her that he absolutely did need to apologize for giving her the mirror because she wouldn't have done all those bad things if he didn't give it to her. He'd tell her that it's all his fault that she went off the deep end. And he'd end up saying that he's the one that doesn't deserve her because of it.

There'd be a brief period where they both end up wallowing in despair, as they'd both feel like they don't deserve each other, and they'd both blame themselves. Therefore, a happy reunion wouldn't really come too easily here. They'd both be too ashamed of their respective actions to get a happy ending that Taranza anticipated.

However, things would eventually get better. With the combination of them trying to talk it out some more as well as Taranza's other friends playing a hand in giving helpful tips and advice, the spiders would eventually start making proper amends and would start embracing each other more over time.

There'd be moments of simultaneous hugging and crying. Sectonia would still be so guilt-stricken, but she could eventually slowly accept potential salvation for her. And while Taranza would understand her guilt, he'd tell her that he's just happy that she's back and missed her so much, and that he'd be more than willing to forgive her and reunite with her.

It'll eventually be okay for them. They'd just have a difficult start because of Sectonia's guilt, which also snowballs into Taranza's guilt because he sees how his mirror gift made her feel that way.

She'd never stop feeling super guilty and ashamed, but ultimately she can settle into being brought back and reunite with him again.

Now we go onto Max Haltmann and his revival.

In the afterlife, Haltmann has his memories back. If Morpho Knight were to bring him back to life, he'd come back remembering Susie/Susanna as his daughter again.

.... However, the two Haltmanns would get off to an incredibly difficult start.

The thing is, it's a complicated mess as to how Susie feels about her dad. She was really affected by him not recognizing her as his daughter during the time period that they were together again after she left Another Dimension to come back to him. She's had a lot of resentment for him because of it.

She'd hesitate to embrace her dad right away in the hypothetical of him coming back to life. The last time she ran up to him for a hug, he coldly rejected it, and so she wouldn't risk doing that again. She wouldn't trust the way he'd act if she tried anything like that again.

Initially, she'd keep a distance from him, even after first finding out that his memories are back. Heck, she'd actually be skeptical when she first witnesses him being so emotional upon seeing her again, basically acting like the dad she remembered as a little kid.

Here's the problem: Susie has never been able to know what was going on with her dad while she was stranded in Another Dimension. She never understood why he kept Star Dream around after it took her away from him, and how or why he presumably allowed the machine to erode away his memories of her. She'd want to know how it all happened.

Early on in this revival scenario, Susie would think that Haltmann's behavior is insincere. She wouldn't want an insincere reunion with him where they pretend that nothing ever happened. She'd want answers. She'd remind him about what happened when she came back from Another Dimension, and how hurt she was over his behavior.

She'd ask him to explain what he was doing in her absence. She'd want the complete truth from him. She wouldn't be willing to reunite with him unless he was entirely transparent about what he did while she was in the hell dimension.

... She'd then become utterly shocked at what he'd reveal.

He'd talk about how he was enormously grief-stricken about Star Dream taking her away from him, and what he did in response to the catastrophic accident. He'd talk about how he assumed she was dead, and that he tried to use the machine to bring her back to life, but it didn't grant his wish, and it didn't say it was because she wasn't dead. He'd then talk about how he kept trying to use it to bring her back until it eventually ate up his memories to the point of him forgetting about her existence.

He'd be in a mental breakdown when explaining all of it. He'd also talk about how he completely understands why she resents him and why she was keeping a distance from him when he came back, and he'd tell her that he'd understand if she can't forgive him for everything that happened because he can't forgive himself. He'd express his enormous regret, and how he'd believe he failed her and that he doesn't deserve her.

He'd be as every bit as guilt-stricken as Sectonia, or perhaps even more so.

Admittedly, it'd take Susie a bit of time to process all of it. But once it fully clicks to her that he was essentially sacrificing his mind trying to get her back, that he wanted the initial reunion every bit as much as she did, and that he feels so painfully crushed with guilt over what he turned into by the time she came back, it'd make her emotional. Really emotional.

She'd eventually come to him with tears in her eyes. She'd tell him that she has a hard time completely forgiving him because of how the damage has already been done with her not having closure for a very long time, but despite that she's genuinely happy that he's back, and she also makes an apology for accidentally killing him when she stole Star Dream's controller from him.

He'd tell her that he doesn't even require an apology from her, as he doesn't even remotely hold that stunt against her, and he'd say that it was his own fault that it got to that point in the first place because of how stubborn he was. And he'd emotionally talk about how despite all of the hurt that he feels, he's also just happy to finally be with her once again after everything.

They'd eventually get to the point where they hug each other and cry while doing so. It wouldn't happen immediately after he comes back, but it'd happen after they unpack many of the complicated stuff between them. And it'd be cathartic for the both of them.

And after that hug, they'd finally start making amends, and the friends that Susie has made ever since her dad's death can help out in various ways.

Max Haltmann wouldn't take back the presidency for the Haltmann Works Company. He wouldn't even want to. If anything, he's actually proud that Susie revived it and became its president after his death. He wouldn't want to take that from her. He'd go in retirement. Susie would let him have a room all to himself.

The Haltmanns would eventually and slowly work things out. But even after making amends, Susie would still sometimes feel awkward about having her dad back. While he was dead, she eventually accepted his death and had grown to like her friends more than him because of the baggage she had over him, and so him being back would still admittedly be a little weird and awkward for her.

And honestly, even in this revival scenario, he still wouldn't go back to being her favorite person. He still wouldn't top her two best friends. She'd still love Taranza and Francisca way more than him. Sorry, but she had grown such strong bonds with him for many years that it just simply wouldn't be possible for her dad to top them at this point.

He'd understand. He wouldn't blame her. More than anything, he'd be exceptionally grateful to his friends. He'd especially give her two besties a wholehearted thank you, and he'd be happy that she wasn't entirely alone and miserable during his death.

Susie still wouldn't regain all of her lost love for her dad in a revival scenario, and they'd get off to a really complicated start, but it'd eventually turn out okay for them. They'd just need time. They'd ultimately reunite in the end, even with Susie still loving her best friends more than him.

And that basically sums up how the two "reunions" would go.

They'd both have difficult starts because of the trauma, but in the end there'd ultimately be a reunion in both situations. It just doesn't come too easy and both situations would require time to work through enough of their issues to properly reunite.

Funny enough, I did actually write a fanfiction about reviving Sectonia and Haltmann a long time ago. I wrote it last year, and it can be found here. But that was also before I made changes to my Kirby headcanon verse, and looking back at it I think the reunions came a little too easy.

There was a lot of emotion and crying in both reunions in that AO3 story, but if I were to rewrite it now, I'd make the reunions harder and longer to achieve. They'd be more like what I wrote above in this post. In both situations, the baggage wouldn't be fixed overnight. It'd absolutely take more than a day for proper reuniting in both situations.

.... Is it possible that I could rewrite that story? Maybe. I'm not too sure as of right now. Writing fanfiction is admittedly draining so if I do it, it wouldn't be for a long time. But I can say that it's not completely off the table. I'll know as time goes on.

Anyways, mind if I bring up the Mage Sisters and Hyness in this topic? They'd actually be pretty relevant in the hypothetical scenario of Sectonia and Haltmann coming back to life in my verse.

You see, in terms of how I have the Mage Sisters interacting with Hyness post-HiAD, it has similarities to both the hypothetical Taranza/Sectonia and Susie/Haltmann reunion situations.

Zan Partizanne quickly forgives Hyness despite his actions and was just overjoyed that he's back even early on, which is similar to how Taranza would quickly forgive Sectonia and just be overjoyed that she's back.

And then both Francisca and Flamberge have a lot of hang-ups with Hyness early on and required some time to work through those hang-ups with him, which is similar to how Susie would have a lot of hang-ups with Haltmann early on and would need some time to work through those hang-ups.

Hyness himself is very guilt-stricken over his actions while he was corrupted and partly feels like he didn't really deserve to be brought back, which is how Sectonia and Haltmann would act if they either survived or hypothetically get brought back to life.

And so you can imagine the Jamba family being capable of giving advice to both the spiders and the Haltmanns in the revival hypotheticals. I can see Hyness understanding how lost, uncertain and guilty Haltmann and Sectonia would feel, considering he himself more or less felt the same way.

I can see Zan trying to give Taranza advice in a scenario where he tries to reconnect with Sectonia, and I can see Francisca giving Susie advice during her period of skepticism in a scenario where Haltmann comes back. Well, Flamberge can also definitely do that, but Francisca to a greater extent because Susie is more closely bonded with the ice general than the fire general.

Nice to have people who understand the situations help out, huh?

Anyways, that's it. Thank you if you managed to read all of this.

[shes-an-oddbird]

911 Lone Star Countdown Tag Game: Redemption

I’m seriously struggling with the word "redemption" so these answers probably trail off course a few times but please enjoy anyways.

Thank you for tagging me @lonestar-s5countdown

(1) Which 911 Lone Star character redemption moment is your favorite? (Feel free to interpret “redemption” as loosely as you like. This can include moments of forgiveness, moments characters proved themselves, moments characters learned from their mistakes, etc.)

The one that’s coming to mind is Mateo standing up to Captain Tatum and the 129. I respect that he was willing to do the grunt work without complaint because he’s the new guy or whatever, but they were awful to him and him telling them off needed to happen and in the end they did respect him. It was also just a great episode for proving to everyone what a good firefighter he is.

(2) Is there a character you think deserved more of an on screen redemption moment than we got in the show?

There are maybe a few little things I would have liked to have seen. I think it would have been nice for a scene between Carlos, TK and Iris after everything that happened at the beginning of season 4.

I also would have liked to have known why the woman with the DNR bracelet ultimately dropped the lawsuit. If there really was something Nancy or Tommy did or said that changed her mind.

(3) Is there a recurring (or even one-time guest) “villain” that you would like to see return with a redemption arc? Or if not, is there a “villain” you absolutely would not want to see get a redemption?

Personally, I think characters like Billy Tyson and Sgt. O’Brien are funniest when they are being best frienemies with Owen. Pearce too actually. He got a little redemption since he and Tommy ended up with a common enemy but it’s just so much funnier when they are fighting that I wouldn’t want him to completely redeem himself. Let him continue to be a coward and a sellout and too full of himself.

(4) Are there any unresolved conflicts from the first four seasons that you wish were reconciled on screen?

Quite a few actually! Let’s be honest, Lone Star has a way of not really solving problems, just brushing past them, but the one that bugged me the most was “A House Divided”. I had such high expectations for that episode so it’s probably my fault that more than a year later I’m still disappointed. It’s not that it was a bad episode, it’s just that they didn’t actually resolve the issue between Judd and Tommy. They just injured Wyatt and decided that that was more important, so the fight was over. And yes, Wyatt is more important but actual resolution would have been so much better.

The conflict could have been so interesting if it was more developed, maybe even over a couple of episodes. Watching it seep slowly into the rest of the team instead of having them have a childish argument about it that was so embarrassing I could barely watch. It could have been so good! The teams not working at their best being on different shifts and not on speaking terms? Not knowing what to do with their little group fighting. No Catan?! It could have thrown TK and Carlos’s entire home schedule off and have had them struggling because maybe they barely get to see each other. It should have directly affected Nancy and Mateo who were on opposing sides but god forbid their relationship be allowed to have any development.

I’m ranting now but it just irks me that this could have been such a good conflict/resolution for the whole 126. They could have had Owen come home, realize something was up and play devil’s advocate or give a different perspective to Tommy about why Judd reported her. They could have let Judd make a similar decision as Tommy or at least have him struggle with making that decision when he is put in a similar situation. All while the rest of the team is working together to accomplish something/save someone and admit to each other that it wasn’t their battle to fight. It could have been an episode(s) that had a story that included all of them, a conflict that affected all of them and instead we didn’t even get a resolution to the one conflict they did give us.

(5) Which main character would you like to have a more developed backstory?

Nancy is really the only character left who doesn’t have a backstory and I would give every penny I have to fix that. I think Paul could use a more developed backstory and they could have been more consistent with Mateo’s backstory but poor Nancy, we know almost nothing about her. And we are four seasons in. We know she is close with her sister, but why? We know she has always wanted to help people, but why? Maybe I’m reading her wrong but I’ve always felt Nancy was slow to trust people and maybe is even a little introverted (crazy right?) but every time I think they’re are going to explore that that, they don’t.

[sparrow-in-boots]

i can and will complain about the horrid treatment Desmond and Clay got in the games, but i certainly will NEVER forgive ubisoft for how dirty they did Daniel.

that man is brimming with potential. we had two comics showing how he was used as a tool by the templars, how all of his life was informed and affected by what they did to him as a child. how he was left on the side of the road without clothes or a name to him, bereft of support and answers to his hallucinations, which led him down a turbulent and traumatic life. how the one community and support he found, the same one that gave him a direction and goals and a sense of belonging was violently ripped away from him because in the end, even that was just a lie, another illusion. everything he worked for for years in the brotherhood, meant nothing, was nothing, because the templars caused him to burn that bridge and the moat and the castle all in one stab of a blade. and now, he has no choice but to throw it in with the people who ruined any and all chances he ever had of a normal or stable life. they are the ones with the animus and the drugs that he needs to continue to exist, much less function somewhat normally. he has no other choice but to surrender himself as a tool, and he's always desperate to prove himself useful because he knows that once he's not, he'll be discarded again, and that will be a fate worse than death for him. if the brotherhood doesn't get him, then the drugs and the violent outbursts caused by the hallucinations will.

he was - is - a perfect foil for Desmond, who has been treated as a pawn, by the assassins and the templars and the isu, he's just the right person to be at the right place at the right time, thanks to a sprawling line of causality that leads him solely to it. he was a tool before he was even born, the community he was born in treated him as such too and so he left. he condemned himself to an isolated and dangerous life to attempt to be a person and find self-actualization, and look how that turned out. sure he chose to stay with the brotherhood and help, but in the end was that really his choice or did the calculations just compute his willingness to it? did he ever have a choice at all or was it all just numbers on a tally of probability?

Daniel is the worst case scenario Desmond could have ended up as. A man used and abused to the point where he has no choice but to make his peace with the role that was decided for him. he's Desmond's shadow of the soul as it were. they are both just playing their roles and they both are more aware of it than most people could ever be. Desmond said it himself.

"It just keeps happening over and over." "What does?" "Everything..."

and to further expand on on the narrative foils, Daniel and Clay also are mirrors of each other. Both stepping stones on the grand scheme of things, ultimately disposable but never dismissable. But while Daniel became a victim of the Animus and his need for it to function, wanting to ditch it but unable to, Clay had no choice but to surrender himself to it in order to see his duty to the bitter end. Daniel can barely handle existing in the real world anymore, and Clay had to leave it to continue existing in the simulation. Neither ever wanted his, but they both needed to do it to make something, anything, of themselves and the pain that was inflicted upon them.

worst of all, the game seems aware of all that!! even setting the last mission's confrontation in the Animus chamber in Italy, the place and machine connecting the three men together. Desmond having to use the Animus as a barrier between himself and Daniel, the thing that doomed both Daniel and Clay being his one protection at the time... it was all setup so beautifully for a poignant meaningful scene between those two, maybe even a proper boss fight--!

but what do we get? an absurdly deus ex machina bleeding effect that turns Daniel into another chase assassination. No fighting back, no words, no discussion or debate. Not even a fucking confession cutscene. It's disgraceful, it's pathetic, and it's so, so offensive to your audience and the story you're writing.

[aceofsweets]

Keep Smiling! [ 🔑 ]

Oh my god, im writing!!!!! omg!!!! anyways first Project: Eden's Garden fic on the blog, rejoice brothers! this fic is dedicated to Wolfgang Akire and angst! wonderful thing to greet yall with!, jokes aside please take caution when reading the fic because i forgot how to write

Cw: Mentions of Murder, Project: Eden's Garden Prologue Spoilers, Character Death (specifically Reader Death), Slight Gore. [ IF CONTENT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, EXIT THE FIC. ]

Pairing: Wolfgang Akire x Reader. Genre: Angst. Note: Reader has no specified gender, Reader is the Ultimate Merchant, Reader replaces a specific character, Wolfgang might be OOC and Reader uses S/O in the fic.

[ NONE OF THIS IS PROOFREAD BTW. ]

Maybe he shouldn't have accepted the letter sent by Eden's Garden Academy.

Accepting it only made his life more...difficult.

Painful, even.

. . . . .

"Hey hey Wolfgang! Wolfgang look at what I found for you!" ah, your voice, your voice made his heart run a marathon but at least it's in a good way. He smiled back at you. "Ah, [S/O], good to see you!"

You ran up to the Ultimate Laywer to show him what you got for him "look at what I got~" it was those magnet necklaces that are usually worn by couples or friends, the thought of sharing a matching necklace with you made his heart skip a beat.

"W....Where exactly did you get this from?" "Uh the internet obviously." he tried to keep his composure, but to be completely honest, you were the Ultimate Merchant, it was to be expected you'd find something from importers and others.

"So?" he looked at you in confusion "so....what?" he asked "are you gonna wear it or not?" you said, pouting somewhat. "a-ah! my apologies [S/O]." he apologized while smiling awkwardly, you could've sworn there was a sweat drop coming from his face. "Wolfie, don't apologize! jeez you take things too seriously." you giggle, his face turns into an embarrassing obvious shade of red "awwww!~ you're so cute when you're flustered Wolfie!~" you teased, both the nickname and extensive teasing from you made him blush even more, but he'll let that slide, for now he'll just enjoy your presence.

For now that is.

. . . . .

In present times, it's much different, having accepted the letter from Eden's Garden Academy only brought him into a new life, a new life that'll be absolute hell.

Your warmth was no longer with him, mainly due to the fact you didn't get an acceptance letter which relieved him, but it doesn't change the fact hes alone.

Having to wake up in what seems to be a dining hall and kitchen was the second weirdest thing aside from being knocked out by some gas on the train. He was thinking, nothing is audible in that mind until...

THUD!

That scared him really bad and it showed. "Oi! soybean are ya gonna say something or gawk in fear all day?!"

Okay, this woman was really, really loud. "Ah...forgive me for staring, I was...startled you could say." he said while having to force a slight chuckle at the end of the sentence.

"Yeah yeah...ya gotta be lucky I ain't gonna punch you or something!" the woman with the visor said "mhm...." he said while having a worried look on his face, was this really someone attending a prestigious academy? Tick....Tick....Tick

It's quiet, but aside from that. Minutes went by and he got the name of the loud woman with a visor, Grace Madison. The Ultimate Golfer. He was baffled by how young she looked but he can't really say anything when he himself is 22 and is known for being the Ultimate Lawyer at such a young age.

Later on, he met a blonde male with emerald eyes, a raven-haired female with blue eyes, and finally, a young child who claims to be the Ultimate Matchmaker. What a peculiar group.

As more time went on, he met more people ranging from different ages, at most 14-20, they all went outside as a group, to introduce themselves at least.

Toshiko Kayura, the young Ultimate Matchmaker decided to introduce the Ultimate Lawyer. "Ahem, Along with Grace Madison, we have the mighty and prestigious Wolfgang Akire!-" "-Hes well known as the Ultimate Lawyer."

Wolfgang smiled at the young girl's apparent enthusiasm when introducing him "...Yes, that's correct."

Suddenly, a crimson haired female spoke up and said "oh, hey hey lawyer man." the new nickname made him a tad bit confused "l-laywer man? Is that your name for me?" he asked.

"Yup! It's either that or Wolfie. Do you like Wolfie more?" the girl said, suddenly, his confusion washed away, rather, a new expression came on his face, something unreadable, as if he was contemplating something. "Wolfie..." it was the same nickname you gave him, the moment he starts thinking about you, is the moment he feels a tad bit hurt. He misses you so much.

"Ya good?" Grace asked "Of course!... just stay with what you already have." he said, but the more he thought of the nickname, the more he thought of you, were you doing okay? were you safe? were you fine without him by your side? so many questions flooded his mind as introductions went on until...

Ding Dong, Bing Bong.

The speaker turned on!

"Testing. Testing. One two three..." a rather mysterious yet sophisticated voice spoke. "Can everyone hear me?" asked the voice, yet nobody responded. "Yes? Great!" Wolfgang was confused yet suspicious of the voice speaking, a loud ahem is heard. "Good morning my amicable student friends! First off, allow me to apologize. I realize the ride here was a bumpy one, especially for Ultimates such as yourselves...But expect things to be different within these halls!" the voice said. "Yes, it is my pleasure and privilege to welcome you all to Eden's Garden Academy. May this be the beginning of a wondrous journey!"

The crimson haired girl or rather, Cassidy said "did he just say...we're at Eden's Garden Academy?" Damon proceeded to say: "No...We can't be." Jett proceeded to say something but it was somewhat cut off by Wenona saying, "Stop talking so loud, I want to hear this."

Shortly after that, the voice continued. "I'm sure you're on the edge of your seats waiting for a proper orientation, but there's one more thing to do before we can meet face to face! It won't take very long. All I ask is that you enter the building across from me. From there, we can begin preparations for a formal introduction. Until then, farewell!"

...Click!

...

Well, that was...interesting.

Commotion started spreading around the courtyard. After a short bit of chattering and deciding what to do, everyone stood in front of the entrance, nobody willing to enter first.

Eventually, Damon mustered up the willpower to open the entrance and...

... No. ... You were there...but... ...

No. ... It was too much....

No, Stop It. ...

The sight was horrid, you were laying there, battered and bloody. Your clothes were wrinkled and soaked with dried, pink, blood. What laid next to you were was a knife with flecks of dried up blood, and a gun.

...

...

...

...

"AHHH!" Toshiko's blood curdling scream echoed through the hallway. "EEEEEEK!?" Eloise's panicked cry followed soon after. In a flash, everyone started panicking.

But Wolfgang...he was...pained.

He couldn't move a single muscle

He couldn't breathe.

And for a moment...

A tear rolls down his cheek.

He tried to stop them but he couldn't.

The tears kept flowing.

If that wasn't enough, his body moved on it's own.

He ran to your bloodied body.

"[S/O]..." he tried to wake you up, hoping it was just some sort of prank, you liked to pull those off! You're joking.

Right?

....

RIGHT?

He tried everything, slightly shaking you, tapping you. How come he never saw you? Where were you...you weren't on the train-- so why are you here?

Please answer him. He'll do anything.

"[S/O]. [S/O] please...this...isn't funny anymore. Wake up." he couldn't stop the flow of his own tears. Everyone looked at the lawyer with different emotions plastered onto their faces. Shock, Worry, Pity. All of those emotions.

He remembered something. A promise you two made.

...

"Hey Wolfie! You do know I bought these necklaces for another reason!" you said cheerfully. "Oh? and what is this other reason?" he asked, his interest has clearly been piqued.

"A reason!" "What...reason exactly?"

"A reason that even if it's raining or shining we'll stick together! Even if we do get busy!" you said with the biggest smile on your face "they are magnetic necklaces so they'll also signify our bond with each other!" he chuckled at that. "[S/O], I'm going to Eden's Garden Academy...I'll be rather busy tho.."

"Who cares?! I'll be waiting for you till the very end! Plus we still have to go to that bakery that's opening in a few months! You can make time for that right?" he smiled "of course." "pinky promise????" "pinky promise."

...

Hes holding onto your clothing for dear life, like if he lets go then you'll disappear.

"[S/O]...we still have to go to the bakery opening in a few months remember...? We made a promise..." he buries his face into your neck, trying to muffle his sniffles and tears, but it's no use.

"Just come back..."

Seconds sped up to minutes, it took Jean, Jett and hell even Damon to convince the lawyer to stand up on his feet.

But even then he looked tired.

Discussions of how you died turned into investigations, which he isn't angry about.

He just wants to know who did this to you. He wants to bring this killer to justice. He wants to avenge you, one way or another.

No matter what it takes.

Your death will not go in vain.

Okay, hot damn is this kinda poorly written! but anyways guys Merry Christmas, have me writing as a gift!

Word Count: 1542 Characters: 8631 Characters W/O Spaces: 7185

Happy holidays everyone! Stay safe and healthy!

-Parfait Cookie!~ [ MIDDY . ]

[archivalofsins]

I'm going to drop some words of advice. Don't have a relationship with someone who can't forgive themselves. It's a genuine waste of time. Chances are the person will be incapable or ill equipped to forgive others when the circumstances may call for that.

An individual who's holding grudges against themselves can only lean two ways. They'll either let you treat them whatever way you want because, on some level, that person may believe they deserve mistreatment for the things they've done. Ultimately, leading them to fail or downright avoid taking accountability for instilling healthy boundaries in their relationships by communicating properly. This may end with them consistently blowing up at you over trivial things you didn't know were issues because they didn't say. Because they're just "happy someone's giving them a chance". Terrible foundation to build a relationship on, by the way.

Or that sort of person will treat whoever decides to be with them however they feel like. Because they may believe that if a person decides to be with them despite what they've done or failed to do in the past, then they knew what they were signing up for. In a very "I told you I mistreat people if you're not okay with that you can go" way.

The worst part- Yeah. I know that the previous thing sounds pretty bad, but those are issues that sort of person will have to resolve on their own. There's nothing others can do about that. No one can learn a lesson on someone else's behalf.

The worst part is how this will impact others around them. Since people like that can't forgive themselves, they won't be able to forgive others either. People like this are liable to treat others however they feel like when the mood strikes them and then get upset with how those others respond to the way they've been treated. Hold things over people's head and private and create an atmosphere around them where it constantly feels like others have to walk on eggshells. Because people who can't forgive themselves can't extend forgiveness to others either.

They'll hold things against others to the same extent they hold things against themselves. Sometimes, without even realizing it. Sometimes, even over the most trivial matters. Because that's how they treat themselves constantly.

How we treat ourselves ultimately impacts the ways we perceive the treatment we receive from those around us, which then impacts how we respond to said treatment. It's not fair or right, but that really is how some people are not only to themselves but others. And that's something some people just gotta fix on their own.

[septembersghost]

How do you feel about watching Elvis' movies even though he was frustrated that they weren't what he wanted and didn't like making them? I've been wanting to see some but keep thinking about that.

this is a good question, and forgive me from rambling (as usual), because i feel like it has a multifold answer.

as someone who loves and enjoys old hollywood, something i've had to grapple with and reconcile, as i've grown up beyond my first childhood fancies of the magic of it all, and gotten to understand it, is the predatory nature of the studio system, the way they overworked their performers, its endemic prejudices, its abuses, issues with tyrannical studio heads, exploitative producers, directors, managers, sometimes certain actors themselves. it was a relentless machine in many ways. i've found that, for me personally, with the actors and films i hold dear, what transcends the uglier underbelly of that system and its architects is the resultant art and performances. no filmmaking exists in a vacuum, so to discard something altogether is to ignore the artistry of hundreds of people. this becomes harder for me to circumvent when we get to more modern things, whether that's an unfair standard or hypocritical, it's just the way my brain works, we all have our own lines and boundaries and no one can decide those for us, we make those choices ourselves. it's somewhat easier, perhaps, with older movies, where anyone damaging involved has long since passed and is making no profit off of it, and what continues to live on is not the harm, but the luminous presences captured on film.

as an offshoot of that, and i know i keep invoking this comparison, but it's such an immediate touchstone for me, is marilyn's work. we know marilyn struggled and suffered and was mistreated, we know she was unfairly stereotyped and dismissed as a serious actress and that she always desired to do more, we know how she's been sexualized and reduced to an image. she and elvis are pop cultural icons on a level entirely their own - they're really like the female and male side of this, and i just had a little of this discussion with a mutual! - how often they're defined only by their sex appeal, their difficulties, their tragedies, which is ultimately neglectful of their full humanity. the pinup and the rock star. the dumb blonde and the girl crazy guy. the white dress over the subway grate and the spangled jumpsuits. but that's not who they were. that's a one-dimensional snapshot. as elvis said, "it's very hard to live up to an image." as marilyn said, "i just hate to be a thing." how, then, do we engage with and reconcile their work, even the work they perhaps weren't as proud of or wish could've been done differently, without being reductive? without making them into an object? it's a tricky thing for sure.

for me, i think it becomes an act of remembrance and legacy. what they created is all we have. if we discard it, are we actually honoring them, or just compounding their losses by letting what they did do be forgotten? i feel like we can acknowledge what they went through and how they may have felt about certain work, and yet still find joy in their talents. elvis' films in the 60s are indeed complicated to reckon with - knowing he felt stifled and uninspired, how he was intentionally monetized (how the studios used revenue they made off of him to finance other films and so on), how much it stalled and potentially damaged his recording career. there's like a whole unlived catalog of what could've been because of the contracts he was locked into and lack of script approval, parker's demands that they get 50% of the publishing of songs limiting his choices, writers brought in to craft situational songs for movies that weren't emotionally resonant for him...there's a lot of sadness in that, and lost potential and unknowns. it's fair to recognize that, and feel upset and angry on his behalf that it went down the way it did, and that he too often didn't get to showcase his range, as an actor or especially as an innovative musician. and at the same time, i don't feel it's a disservice to him to watch those films and have fun, to find the lightness in him singing that music, because it *is* a significant portion of what's left behind, and to ignore it doesn't change it, it's more like...that would make it for naught, you know? besides which, he so loved making people happy, that i don't imagine he'd mind us now, decades later, still finding the bright spots in what he made. and that's the idea and approach i've had with people like marilyn, like judy and others, throughout my life too. they were sensitive and impassioned people, and they felt such connections to their audiences and to wanting to give of themselves, to provide that light where they could. they were blessed to have the gifts they did, and sharing them how they were able was a blessing too, something that remains despite the hurt and the difficulties. the key to me, really, is in not reducing them to the image alone. it's in always maintaining that compassion, that remembrance of the human beings who gave so much in pursuit of that art. doing that gives it a beating heart, and keeps them alive. seeing marilyn shine onscreen, hearing elvis' unmistakably extraordinary voice interpret a song...it means their stars still burn, because here we are keeping that stardust with us.

[lurkingshan]

Make it Right 2

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this show that I'm struggling to decide where to start. I guess the best place is my overall impressions, which haven't changed since I finished the first series: I LOVE THIS SHOW AND I WILL DEFEND THESE CHARACTERS TO ANYONE. Fight me!

Now real talk, does this show have high production quality, smart writing and plotting, sharp editing, scene construction, and overall narrative consistency and coherence? No, it does not. It has none of those things, and a lot of them have gotten markedly worse from the first season. But all that barely phased me because the characters just hooked themselves right into my heart and wouldn't let go. This show is very very messy, but in the most lovable way ("LIKE GAY PEOPLE" - @bengiyo).

There were three main storylines that I was invested in for this second season. I will talk about them in order of least to most emotional investment.  @waitmyturtles @wen-kexing-apologist @manogirl tagging you to come back to this later after you finish your watches because I want to talk about ALL OF THIS. For anyone reading - major spoilers from here on out!!

Yok & Lukmo

Boy, I did not expect this romance, and I really liked it. Which came as a surprise, because I did not care much about Mo in the first series. I was more invested in Yok, but in season 1 he felt kind of removed from everyone else, which was of course by design. He felt apart from the other boys because he is different. And it was just really really lovely to see a femme gay character get to embrace who he is and be loved for it. I like that he was wary of Mo and tested him for awhile before he let him in, and that Mo did waver a bit when he was first challenged on whether he really was okay being in a gay relationship. That felt authentic to me, and only made it feel more solid when they came back together with Mo more confident in what he wanted. I also liked that in the end Yok's mom stepped up to take her kid's side and express her acceptance of who he is and his relationship - it was very sweet.

I do have to deduct some points here for that very tonally bizarre sex scene that got tacked on to the end of their story. The way that scene was directed, shot, and edited just didn't feel in line with their dynamic at all, and I spent most of it thinking we were in some kind of weird dream sequence. I did find it amusing though that these two were better with physical intimacy in their one scene than the leads ever managed across two full seasons.

Frame & Book

My beloveds!! They were my favorite part of season 1, and I still loved them here, though I think the show faltered a lot on their storyline in season 2. The ideas behind their arc - Book working through some past relationship trauma, dealing with the fallout of Book's public violation, Frame struggling to hang in as Book pushed him away - were all good. But the execution was pretty spotty. The entire arc needed some clearer storyboarding and a pacing and sequencing revamp. The choppy editing this season felt most evident to me in this storyline, where I often felt like scenes came abruptly out of nowhere or felt out of sequence, and emotional swings happened too fast to be believable. And I didn't love where the show ultimately took some of the resolutions with the ex-boyfriend (and the teacher who was apparently inviting his students for group sex parties??) but I can't say they aren't in line with this show's overall forgiving attitude toward whatever these boys get up to.

All that said, at the core of this storyline was Frame and Book struggling to endure a traumatic event together, figuring out how they need to show up for each other in those moments, and learning from their mistakes to become better communicators. All of that worked and fit the characters really well. I believed that Book would totally shut down and push Frame out in the face of public humiliation and deep shame. I believed Frame would try and try and try to get through to him but also experience moments of weakness where he would be tempted to just say fuck it and go back to the easier path of casual hookups. And though a lot of the journey to get there was sloppily executed, I believed that they would ultimately come out of that mess more committed and in love than before (I could have done without all the wedding talk though, they are 16 people!).

​Fuse & Tee

And here we come to the arc that frustrated and thrilled me in equal measure. FUSE YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER I WANT TO YEET YOU OFF A CLIFF AND ALSO GIVE YOU A GIANT HUG. I was deep in my feelings about this story all season. Fuse made me so mad, Tee made me so sad, and they both made me so happy in the end when they finally figured out their shit.

Fuse's storyline feels very familiar to a lot of early Thai bl. His inability to let go of his shitty girlfriend and his constant wavering between Jean and Tee was reminiscent of Phun in Love Sick (and would also be a dynamic repeated in other shows like Together with Me). The key difference for me, and what made it comparably more upsetting than in Love Sick, is that unlike Noh, Tee did not have his own other relationship to deal with or any ambivalence about whether he wanted to actually be together. Tee only ​wanted Fuse, and wanted commitment and fidelity from him, and watching Tee get increasingly depressed as he tried to be happy just getting what he could from Fuse, caught in a cycle of getting hope and then being rejected again, was so painful. And while he might not have been fully aware of how selfish and cruel he was being at first, eventually Fuse definitely saw how this was affecting Tee and came to understand he was the cause, and he still didn't stop fucking with him! I was so angry with him around the midpoint of the season, I just wanted Tee to dump him and start dating his little friend. 

What made it all so much harder to swallow is that Jean and Fuse's relationship was so mild. THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER. Fuse does not want to touch or kiss her - that was established way back at the beginning of season 1. They go long stretches where they don't even talk to each other until one of them remembers the other exists. Jean has a whole other boyfriend that she seems to have a much deeper relationship with. And this is where the show kind of pissed me off, because the way they turned Jean into an evil manipulative woman stereotype with her pulling this elaborate scheme to pretend her boyfriend was her brother so she could parade around town with him (and even brazenly bring him in front of Fuse!) just felt so false and over the top to me. Why would she bother to do any of that just for the sake of stringing along this boy who isn't even interested in being her boyfriend in any real way? @bengiyo mentioned that his reading of it was she is insecure in her relationship with the older boy and so wants Fuse as a back up, which I could buy to a certain extent, but they really lost me with the lengths she went to. Jean is a very pretty girl who will no doubt have another boyfriend in a week; all this just to hang on to Fuse? I didn't buy it.

And that's a problem because it made it harder to understand why the hell Fuse was having such a hard time letting go of her, and why he was willing to hurt Tee so much in the process. I think if he genuinely liked Jean and had a deeper relationship with her, that would have worked better for me. As it was, he just seemed like a coward, and the way he kept rejecting Tee and then still trying to have his way with him after was infuriating. When he told Tee he was breaking up with him and staying with Jean, and then still tried to get him to sleep with him after, that's when I was ready to strangle this kid. And some of this I can rationalize as him not being ready to firmly commit to being out in a gay relationship and needing Jean as a kind of shield and safety blanket, but if that was the intent I think the show muddied the message a bit by having literally everyone already know about Tee and Fuse. That horse was long out of the barn before Fuse finally did something about Jean.

To the show's credit, it knows exactly how awful Fuse was throughout this entire debacle, and the last segment of their arc is all about Fuse recognizing it himself and atoning for his behavior with Tee. I love that we saw him apologize to Tee with increasing sincerity. I love that we saw him finally be the one to pursue Tee and make his feelings clear, and that Tee actually made him work for it. I loved that we had multiple episodes of Fuse trying to work up the courage to ask Tee to be his faen, and that Tee knew what was happening and enjoyed watching Fuse flounder. My absolute favorite scene was Fuse finally breaking down and confessing to Tee at the beach (with a little help from best bro Lukmo) - that he knows he was wrong, that he knows he was selfish, that he understands what Tee means to him now, that he loves him and wants to be with him and he's ready to commit to that. And Tee, because he is a kind and generous person who has been patiently waiting for this all along, immediately forgave him and responded in kind. It was so emotionally cathartic and satisfying, and felt very much earned after that loooooong journey through the mess. More than anything else I felt so proud of Fuse, and so happy for Tee, and I believed they would be solid from that point on. I didn't even need the sweet little epilogue to feel that way, but I was delighted to get it (and a direct homage to Love Sick with Fuse putting his hand over the camera lens as he leaned over to kiss his boyfriend).

Final thoughts

As I wrapped up my watch I have been reflecting on why this show is not as beloved in fandom as something like Love Sick. Why does it not seem to have the same nostalgic pull? Why don't people (other than @absolutebl and @bengiyo) talk about it as much as other classic Thai bls? And the only thing I can think of is that it's too raw for most of the bl audience. And I mean raw in every sense - the production, the acting, the emotions, the inexperience and naivete and even the physicality of the characters. Nothing particularly sophisticated is happening here, and nothing is smoothed over. If you want to love these characters, you have to love them through all the bad decisions and fucked up choices and flaws run wild. You have to love them when they're ugly as much as when they're beautiful. And I think that's hard for a lot of the audience that just wants to see sweet love stories. But I am here for it and so glad I finally got to watch this.

[pickmeforjesus]

Pro abortion Heathens and Pro death penalty "Christians" share the same brand of ungodly cruelty

They have the same "yeah I got granted the privilege of having my life being spared despite my sins/flawed birth circumstances but I will unilaterally decide *you* don't deserve it, because of *reasons*" 🙃

There's this passage of the Bible (Matthew 5:43-47) that I really like which basically says there's nothing great in being kind with people that we like/who look like us/are returning back the kindness - and that real "perfect" Love is actually being kind with those who are "underserving" of this charity - such as our ennemies.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

And that's precisely what I'd like to remind every single Christians.

Felons are NOT beyond repentance & salvation. If you think they are deserving of death because of their sin, then ask yourself over what privilege you were entitled forgiveness & mercy despite your own sins.

It be real easy to look down on sinners while thinking you are sooo better and soooo much more deserving than them - while gatekeeping the way of accessing the privilege (Salvation) you've been granted.

The thing with Christian these days is that they totally compartmentalize the message of Christ, to an almost "virtual" level. When Jesus talks about "loving your ennemies", it's like they couldn't process those "ennemies" could actually be......rapists, felons, murderers, etc. The only times I seen Christians suddenly elevate the concept of "loving your ennemies" is when it comes to anti religious people (who campaign actively against Christianism) because it allows them posture themselves as victims/martyr - which is ultimately very self serving.

Meanwhile, there's no "benefit" in publicly displaying Charity & Mercy for criminals, that's why those Christians are less forgiving when it comes to this demographics....... which is precisely what Matthew 5:43-47 is about.

It's become so much normalized in "Christian" circles to dunk on leftists, wokes™, feminists, LGBT+.... it's like it didn't occur to them that those people are ALSO those for whom Christ died for, and gave to us CHRISTIANS, the responsibility to deal with them with "perfect" Love. That's why so many of you are so prone to dehumanize them, with slurs, etc. Because it's becoming easier to kill someone, if it's not human (as a reminder, biblically speaking, hate is spiritually yoked with murder). Which is precisely what pro abortion do with fetus.

[thebranchesofshe]

John Pringle is first and foremost a predator and a parasite. He's a serial killer that hops from host to host when the body fails. As for how he was created, I won't give that away just yet. But he was created to love, and decided instead to destroy, and his decision to become this predator-parasite came when his own mortality became evident to him. He lives unnaturally long, and his continued existence comes at the expense of others.

In this sense, he's not far off from the concept of a billionaire or a landlord, roles that can not exist without victims of exploitation. John Pringle is not a human being or even an animal. He should not exist. There is nothing human or sympathetic to be found within him. There is only pity for his miserable, wasteful existence as a result of his desparation. John Pringle is the personification of murder.

And when we first meet him, it is in the form of a deer. Specifically one that is very wrong because, well, it's already dead.

Parting the curtain here, I was inspired by the effect of Chronic Wasting Disease, which ultimately results in deer behaving in bizarre and erratic ways beyond their control (some people refer to this as 'zombie-like'). When deer have no predators, they overpopulate, and they frequently starve or get sick. It's an unbalanced and unnatural existence, much like the one John Pringle is living.

So why does John Pringle arrive in the form of a prey animal when he is inherently a predator? The answer is interesting (to me).

He is fundamentally a victim of his own existence. He is ruled by an overwhelming fear of death. He kills for sport, recognition, attention, a sense of identity, but ultimately to sustain himself. In a sense, he wants to be a predator (and is), but at the back of his mind, John Pringle is the prey and death itself is the predator.

But John Pringle is mythologized into a sort of satanic character by the Order, or at least, parts of his legend transform into the character of the Wyrm/Wurm/Worm, representing destruction and spiritual death. The Wyrm/Wurm/Worm eventually becomes simply The Worm, a very literal worm, as a result of postbellum morbidity. How ironic that John Pringle, afraid of death, is mythologized into death itself. And how ironic it is that after all, he is nothing but a worm.

And even lower than that.

He is a parasite.

Keep this in mind when you read him. John Pringle is a living concept. He can not and will not change. He began as the ideal man from the eyes of a woman whose life was ruled by a predator. He's the imaginary husband of someone who was born and raised in a patriarchal sect in which a high priest with a sexual interest in her held absolute, unquestionable authority. He is greed, murder, assault, subjugation, and exploitation.

There is nothing honorable about him, nothing redeeming or worth redeeming. While Decaelo is populated with many Christian characters of vastly differing opinions, I try to avoid a Christian view of redemption or even describe behavioral changes as 'redemption', which is why the attempts of certain characters to achieve redemption through suffering or prostrating themselves before those they have wronged generally fail or have little effect, but when certain characters decide to change and follow through, it isn't redemption. I don't really subscribe to that. What it really is, is change for the better. A step in the right direction. Becoming a better person. Righting their wrongs and continuing forward regardless of whether they are accepted or not. Not depending on the forgiveness of others in order to change.

John Pringle is static. He can not change. He can not grow. He can only destroy, use, abuse, appropriate, and kill.

A fascist can realize they were wrong and decide not to be a fascist anymore, but fascism can not change. Someone who exploits others can look back in regret and become a champion of justice, but exploitation can not become better. Someone who has abused others can change for the better with conscious effort. Abuse can never be good.

Such is the existence of John Pringle.

And finally,

He is not a w*****o. He is not a SW. He is a disease created by a cruel society, a fatal parasite with a consciousness. In all seriousness, I highly suggest reading the post previous to this one, also tagged #john pringle. Reducing these figures from Native American culture to "scary deer spirit" is incredibly disrespectful, racist, and also, frankly, stupid.

John Pringle can be enjoyed and appreciated as a character, but 'redeeming' him or 'reclaiming' him completely undermines his role in the story and the pain that he causes, much of which is, surprise, exploitative in nature. In particular, he has a malicious fixation on making the one person he is unable to kill as miserable as fucking possible, not just because he is unable to kill this person, but because he cannot steal a desirable feature from them. The theme of John Pringle discarding his host bodies as they fail is also not an accident. He uses people up and spits them out when they are no longer useful. Sort of like, I don't know, America's treatment of disabled people, says the author who has lupus and a spinal injury.

Decaelo is set in the American South during the early 1970s, and involves characters of color, as well as disabled, queer and trans characters, and revolves around love and healing and justice in the face of oppression and exploitation.

John Pringle is not and will never be your 'blorbo.'

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 17)

Welcome to part… 17 now? of my probably excessive annotation of my own book! Here, I wax nostalgic over now-defunct department stores, examine the importance of jewelry in this story, and can’t quite remember if I meant to make Kiyomi similar to Kozue from Maison Ikkoku or if she just turned out that way!

As always, spoilers (including spoilers for chapters beyond this one) under the cut!

So, date #2 with Kiyomi… I know a lot of readers don’t love this, and you know… you’re not supposed to. What Teru is doing here is pretty shitty. He knows he isn’t really interested in Kiyomi the way she’s interested in him, but he’s taking her out again anyway because he was too big of a wimp to say no… he doesn’t want to hurt her, and I don’t really think he sees how he’s hurting her MORE by letting her believe there’s something there. Can we forgive him a little for being young and inexperienced?

Last time, Teru kind of dressed up in visual kei-style clothes and Kiyomi wore clothes that were more mainstream popular. This time, Kiyomi is dressed head to toe in black, and Teru’s in jeans and a T-shirt. This is Kiyomi being a little naive, I think. Teru doesn’t really care how she dresses, or how Rei dresses, or really what any potential date wears. I think Kiyomi really thinks that if she spends the money and the effort to fit into his world, it will make Teru like her… this is (quite sadly and painfully) something I used to believe when I was maybe a little younger than Kiyomi, and while it’s not exactly her best trait… let’s give her a break for being a little naive too.

Teru’s also thinking about Rei, and about Yasu’s advice, from the beginning this time. Kiyomi is able to sympathize with him about skipping meals when you’re single and living alone, and when their waitress gets flustered on her first day, Kiyomi is kind… but instead of thinking that he ought to be attracted to her, Teru is now thinking that she deserves someone better than him.

Yes, he really needs to tell her that he only wants to be friends, but he doesn’t… the only thing close to that he manages to say is that if they go to Marui One, the unfortunately now-defunct visual/goth/punk/lolita department store, he can’t tell anyone there she’s his date, but only that she’s staff for the band (which they do need, now that they’re selling more stuff). This is sort of the first mention, I think, of the “all musicians must appear to be straight and single” rule that gets brought up a little more definitively later. A big part of the appeal for a lot of the fans of these bands is sort of being able to tell themselves they have a chance with the musicians, so while Teru is making a good point, he’s also not doing a very good job of making it clear to Kiyomi where he stands. He should be up front and tell her it’s NOT a date… but instead he just says they can’t SAY it is.

A couple of important things happen at the store… Kiyomi suggests buying a really revealing dress, and Teru is kind of uncomfortable with that (but again, definitely not communicating well). They go a a jewelry shop, and Kiyomi finds a necklace that she rightly thinks Teru would like.

I actually forgot to go into this earlier, but the jewelry that’s given as gifts throughout the book are one of my favorite little details. First, Kiyomi has Teru’s bracelet that he threw out into the crowd during the show she was watching. It wasn’t really an intentional gift, but she wears it again later, and I this scene, when she ultimately goes back and buys the necklace for him without his knowledge or permission, she says it’s “repayment” for the bracelet. Teru does aesthetically like her gift, but he decides against wearing it at their next show—he doesn’t want to give her OR Rei the idea that he is “hers”. And then when Rei gives him a necklace months and months later, that’s simple and beautiful and personalized rather than just bought on a whim, he wears it right away onstage, wanting to show the world that he does love Rei, even if he can’t be out publicly. While Kiyomi’s gift here isn’t really THOUGHTLESS—she does choose something that Teru likes—it’s also completely inappropriate cost-wise with where their relationship is at the moment and feels like almost a subconscious attempt to buy his love. I don’t think she means it like that, but her whole approach is just a little naive (this may or may not have been based on personal experience as well… I was a huge dork when I was Kiyomi’s age.)

So Kiyomi spends a ton of money on new clothes, and Teru feels a little bad that all he can do is carry her bags (she hasn’t actually purchased the necklace yet here, but Teru has decided that he CANT afford it), which isn’t really a new thing but again, just kind of feeling like things aren’t quite equal.

One of the sort of complaints I see about age gap romances is that things can “never be equal,” there’s “always a power imbalance”… but I really tried to make Teru and Rei… not equal in EVERYTHING of course, but equal partners overall. They both “take care of” each other in different ways. I mean, if you don’t like age gap couples don’t read this! Everyone’s welcome to have a preference, but while Teru initially feels a little self-conscious about how poor he is with Rei, I think he also does have a lot of power in the sense that he becomes the face of their music, and by the end has a successful career of his own. (And he certainly has the emotional power to absolutely SHATTER Rei, which he knows now, and definitely understands.) I don’t know that there’s really a power imbalance with Kiyomi, but there’s definitely less that he can do for her… and Teru’s love language is acts of service. He likes to be needed!

Another pretty significant thing happens when one of the shop clerks recognizes Teru from the band, showing that they’re starting to become popular, and the clerk’s mention of the  upcoming single eventually (after Kiyomi goes back to buy that necklace) leads to them going to a CD shop to see the poster for the single on display.

Teru considers telling Kiyomi here that he can’t be with her—at least he’s admitting it to himself? But he doesn’t because he’s kind of a coward here… but when they go to the shop and see the poster, he whispers Rei’s name and Kiyomi hears him. She kind of teasingly asks if that’s his girlfriend (Rei is a unisex name), probably mostly hoping to hear him say he doesn’t have a girlfriend, but all Teru says is that Rei was “a musician he used to know”—assuming, still, even though it’s clearly breaking his heart, that they’re never going to see each other again.

In one of the very early drafts, Teru actually thought he SAW Rei on the street outside the store—not entirely implausible, if he’s working on getting the stores in the area to stock the CD—but when he runs outside whoever he saw is gone. I’m not really sure if I meant that to actually BE Rei, or if he just saw someone else dressed similarly or with similar colored hair, of if he was just imagining things, period.

It didn’t really matter, though, and I didn’t want it to seem like there was any possibility Rei was stalking him or anything… so I’m glad I changed it to just this whisper of a name that has Kiyomi wondering if she should be jealous.

I think I’ve mentioned somewhere before (probably on my deleted Twitter) that Kiyomi reminds me a lot of Kozue from Maison Ikkoku. I don’t actually remember if that was intentional or not, but they both have that kind of “borderline annoying but just because they’re young and inexperienced and are trying to be sweet” thing going on. (And Rei is so clearly Kyoko too… but I’m not really sure if any of that was intentional. I think at least some of Teru’s thoughts about Saki, about how he would forever be perfect, were at least somewhat inspired by the way Godai was jealous of Soichiro? Whether it was conscious or not though, there are definitely some similar (if slightly gender-bent) dynamics going on.)

I guess this is kind of a “down” chapter in that it’s kind of a lull in the action and that Teru’s guilt over his reaction to Rei really colors everything until they meet again, but I LOVE the nostalgia here. I’m so glad I worked Marui One into this, and even though it’s not the most fun day out from Teru’s point of view, it reminds me of some good times.

[therubymuse]

Six Years

This was for Tuesday release but I slipped. Oops.

On November 27th, a milestone kind of flew past me in the midst of everything else that’s been happening. It’s always been one of the harder markers to remember to observe, and I’m not sure if that’s the time of year, the state of the world, or the worms in my brain that are to blame for that. But I forgive the brain worms nonetheless. 

I started taking estrogen six years ago. When I came out in August 2018, I wasn’t sure who I was just yet, only who I wasn’t. And that’s okay, some folks think trans people have known forever that they’re trans, and while I certainly can retcon the memories with the wisdom of now and see all the ways in which I was uncomfortable as a boy, I didn’t know why that was at the time. I just thought I was weird. And so I hid that part of me for a very long time, because the few times I had been vulnerable enough to share it, I was hurt immensely. 

When I came out, I wasn’t sure if womanhood was the right place for me. It was always something I had approached with such caution, reverence, and awe. It was also something I treated with massive respect, having seen what so many of my girlfriends had gone through in their lives for no other reason than misogyny. I had heard the arguments, and I was worried they were true; that there was no way I could live up to the beauty and the power I saw in other women, and that trying would be insulting. I had to unlearn that. 

And in November 2018, I was in the midst of that re-education. I had just started a job I quite liked, I hadn’t made many friends in a new city just yet, and I was getting my feet under me. Ultimately, I realized that real feminism tells us that all women are valid. Feminists have reclaimed space for women who are hairy, masculine, fat, tall, low-voiced, or infertile for decades, as they fought against the idea that we were the property of men and that our only value lied in traditional beauty and baby making. 

If you look at that list, which is by no means exhaustive, you’ll realize that transgender women are the women of feminism. And that’s exactly what I realized after meeting my partner in January 2019, who encouraged me not to be afraid of embracing something that ultimately held immense truth for me. So in February, I came out to the world as a woman, and it’s been an identity that has held immense comfort and truth for me since. 

Part of that truth for me is remaining visible to my community and other queer folks. Some trans people go to great lengths to mitigate anything that would give them away as trans, either for personal reasons or for safety, and there is nothing wrong with that. Some trans folks, however, cannot afford the cost of doing so, or in my case, simply do not want to. A great deal of importance is placed on “passing” as a trans woman, but passing has not been my goal. I already see the woman in the mirror that was hiding all my life, and she is so happy to be here. And that, more than my physical characteristics, is what I wish people would see. 

I know some of my friends and loved ones will jump to my own defence here, telling me I do pass and that I couldn’t be mistaken for anything but a woman, and while I appreciate that a lot, me saying “I don’t pass” is not me saying “I’m ugly”. As trans women we have to decide if we’re going to chase traditional femininity, or build our own version, as our sisters have done throughout history, and I’m a build my own type of girl. If people see me as a girl, that’s great, and it makes me happy, but in order to transition in the first place, I had to tell myself that feminine perfection was not required of me. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it here.

It’s rather like how someone says “I’m fat” and their friend responds with “You’re not fat you’re beautiful”. The person calling themselves fat, didn’t say they were ugly, they just said they were fat. I don’t pass as a traditional femme. I’m a mix of futchy influences that usually lands me smack dab in “comfy mom” territory. But that’s not me calling myself ugly.

In the next year, I plan on working on the last element of my appearance that really causes me dysphoria, which is my facial hair. We all have something that’s hard for us and for me it’s definitely my whiskers. But again, that’s a fight I’m taking on for my own better mental health, not for other people’s sensibilities.

Other than that, I continue to finesse my particular brand of casual low-effort femme, and I will continue showing up for the people who need to see someone like me out there, happily existing and living my life. I think 2025 will be more about healing and rest than any of the years so far. Really getting to know myself again and how I’ve grown and changed since I started this journey. 

Here’s to many more.

[fantasyinvader]

So I originally wanted to do this as a huge-ass essay, going over the scenarios, explaining the players and the like. However, to properly do this I'd probably need to reread the series. Or watch the anime which is over a hundred episodes long. So, forgive me for this but I kinda wanted to talk about this and spoilers ahead for a great series.

I've read Legend of the Galactic Heroes. All ten books. They are currently sitting on my shelf, next to The Witcher. I'm a fan of the series, and would recommend people at least try out an episode or two of it for themselves. And the reason why I bring this up is that Legend of the Galactic Heroes was referenced by the developers with regards to Three Houses. Specifically, how Claude was inspired by Yang Wen-li, one of the main characters.

And wouldn't you know it, the series talks about meritocracy. Basically, it's not treated as some cure-all solution regardless of it being applied to a democratic state or an autocratic one.

First and foremost, who sets the definition of what is merit? The guy at the top, of course, and that's why it can be dangerous. If the head honcho has certain prejudices, they can be baked into the system. Case-in-point, the first Galactic Kaiser Rudolf von Goldenbaum. The guy had a good track record fighting pirates for the former Galactic Federation, and as a result was able to hold the offices of President and Prime Minister...at the same time, no one else doing so not being a rule more a formality Rudolf ignored. And from there, he crowned himself Kaiser.

Rudolf believed that there were certain vices that needed to be cracked down upon in order to better humanity as part of his “holy duty” to protect it. These were drinking, drug usage, gambling... and homosexuality. He believed that living in poverty was a symptom of them having unfit genetics, and as a result enacted the Inferior Genes Exclusion Act. A firm believer in the “Law of the Jungle,” he saw to it that those with physical or mental conditions were sterilized or killed. In addition, be was a racist who decreed that non-whites couldn't be part of his nobility, which he opened up to supporters of his with Germanic names who shared his ancestry (he viewed himself as the pinnacle of humanity, even trying to get his height used as the standard unit of measurement and was stopped only when an accountant told him, possibly lying, it would be super expensive to change everything. The fact he fathered a child with cognative disabilities and it might have come from HIM haunted him, even after he killed the Mistress, her family, everyone present at the birth as well as their families). As a result of all this, billions died and the human population plummeted due to the sterilizations carried out, and with his death the nobles he empowered kept the Empire going.

Another fun fact about him: One of his descendants was gay, abandoning the throne and fleeing with treasure alongside his lover.

Through Rudolf, we see the dangers of giving one individual the ability to solely decide what is “merit” among the rest of his power. The series has his legacy in the background, a warning to both Yang as well as his rival, Reinhard von Lohengramm.

On the other end of the spectrum, there's Fleet Admiral Lassella Lobos of the Free Planets Alliance. Lobos was said to have been competent enough to get such a position despite lacking imagination and track record, only for him to be in over his head in reality. He signed off on a plan, submitted by a Commodore who went above his superiors, to invade the Empire after they lost the previously unbeatable Iserlohn fortress to Yang. The plan was pretty vague, did not take into consideration things such as supply lines, and ultimately played into Reinhard's hands. Of the 30 million Alliance soldiers who went into the invasion, only 10 million survived and shifting the balance of the war into the Empire's favor. This is a factor in Lobos resigning, as well as crushing the Alliances's faith in the military, allowing Reinhard to sabotague them leading to an insurrection (of military commanders who believe the government is corrupt and only looking out for themselves, taking over in order to “protect democracy.”) while he's caught in a civil war with the Imperial nobility.

The Alliance is full of issues due to the long war. Since so many people are being funnelled into the military, there's not enough people to maintain the upkeep of the infrastructure. Yang originally tried to study in order to become a historian, only to have to study military history...and then for the program to be shut down, leading him to either being transferred to officer's training or have to pay back his tuition. Likewise, the families of soldiers are pushed to take in war orphans, but then the orphans are expected to pay back what the government paid those families to look after them usually through military service. Oh, and if you speak out against the war there's a militia going around terorrizing people even if they're in the military. The aforementioned invasion was carried out instead of suing for peace after taking Iserlohn in order to regain strength.

People like Yang might be able to rise up on merit, but the threat of another Rudolf can cause them to be viewed with suspicion by those at the top. Those people can use their power to try and control those they deem as threats, such as calling in Yang for questioning a speech he gave about how protecting individual rights and liberty are more important than protecting the nation (as the government believes war and self-sacrifice makes people better rather than them becoming decadent). Sadly though, Yang's flaw is his belief in democracy and his unwillingness to defile it. He didn't allow himself to take power even when urged to do so, or violate orders from his superiors (such as blasting the now-Kaiser Reinhard after the Alliance surrendered). He wouldn't violate the democracy he fought to protect, even if it's leaders were corrupt or to save it.

On the other hand though, there's a case where someone is sabotaged by those under him. Oskar von Reuenthal was one of Reinhard's Fleet Admirals, and a damned good one as well. Together with his friend Wolfgang Mittermeyer, a commoner who was promoted by Reinhard for his distinguished service, they were known as the Twin Stars/Pillars of the Empire. Reuenthal is dark haired while Mittermeyer is a ginger to boot for all you Ferdibert fans.

Reuenthal was put in charge of managing the former Alliance territories, but was framed as a traitor by one of his subordinates, Fleet Commander Alfred Grillparzer. Grillparzer could have been promoted in due time, even has this pointed out to him, but instead concealed evidence that would have absolved Reuenthal so that he could “betray” Reuenthal (he fatally shot him) to the Kaiser and be rewarded for it. All he wanted was to gain achievements in order to stand out and prove his merit. Instead, he's forced to commit suicide as a punishment after Reuenthal's pride wouldn't allow him to back down from the Imperial forces coming to stop him. Reuenthal, to the end, was loyal to Reinhard even when fighting against his forces commanded by his best friend Mittermeyer.

This is after Reinhard began his reforms to make the Empire a meritocracy, and Reinhard strives to be a benevolent dictator. But even this is not above criticism, as Reinhard loves fighting. Fleet Admiral Paul von Oberstein at one point calls him out on it to his subordinates, criticizing how Reinhard would fight a battle that would cost millions their lives rather than use hostages to pressure the other side into surrendering. Hell, the reason the Allinace surrendered was because Reinhard's secretary and later wife, Hildegard von Mariendorf, convinced Reuenthal and Mittermeyer to make a break for the Alliance capital to capture it while Reinhard was fighting because she realized he was going to not only lose but die.

Speaking of which, her sickly cousin, Baron Heinrich von Kummel, attempted to assassinate Reinhard due to the machinations of the Cult of Terra (think the Slithers of the setting). The man was powerless due to his illness, bed-ridden for most of his life. He would never do the great things that would prove his merit, and so during the assassination attempt savored the feeling of putting Reinhard, who had become Kaiser, in his power.

The people on top can hold the people below them down regardless of merit, as Yang's history showed us. Those at the bottom can sabotague those on top, as what happened to Reuenthal, and those who are powerless may lash out, as shown with Heinrich. Meritocracy does not make everyone play nice, nor is it fair.

But back to Oberstein. He has had artificial eyes since birth, noting that during Rudolf's era he would have been put to death for it. Hence, why he wants to tear down the old regime and, despite his willingness to do the dirty work for Reinhard no one else would, wants to prevent Reinhard from becoming another Rudolf. He also spells it out during the incident with the hostages, he was given his position by Reinhard himself. If the admirals under him have a problem with his decision, then they are disagreeing with their Kaiser. Likewise, their relative positions means that Oberstein does not have to answer to his admirals as he is above them in the hierarchy, he only answers to Reinhard himself. Naturally, this pisses off the admirals and it's especially poignant because the reason Yang got back into direct action was because someone appointed by Reinhard to oversee Yang screwed up and caused Yang to flee for his safety.

That is the nature of meritocracy, a hierarchy. And you have to play by the rules of the guys on top. This plays a part in the finale, as the remnants of Yang's forces (Yang dead at this point), have to make the case to Reinhard in order to preserve democracy. As such, in order to show him the value of it they have to prove it's worth. How? By fighting him, boarding his ship (which has never been damaged prior to this) and confronting him directly. Members of the Yang fleet, guys we've known since the first book such as Schonkopf or Merkatz, die during this. It's not that they can retake the entire galaxy, they don't have the forces to do that. This is all to make one last, desperate appeal to a man who believes democracy prevents the great from acting as it tangles things up in bureaucracy and red-tape.

Their case is that despite the meritocracy, it can still become corrupt. Just because all the power is consolidated at the top doesn't stop this, and when it happens there's no checks or balances to it. Reinhard might be (mostly) benevolent, but all it takes is one bad egg of an Kaiser to ruin everything Reinhard has done. For in a democracy, it's failing are the failings of the people as they voted those clowns into power, whereas in an autocracy there's no one to blame but the guy with all the power. Hell, the former leader of the Alliance Job Trunicht did everything he could to increase his own power, and after the surrender was trying to do the same thing with his new role in the Empire before he ticked off Reuenthal by badmouthing Reinhard and criticizing the democracy that empowered him.. because it put someone like him into power. Quote, “if autocracy will give me the power I want, then autocracy will become my next benefactor.” Meritocracy does not fix corruption.

Even Reinhard himself was given his first opportunities to distinguish himself not due to merit, but because his sister was the favored concubine of the Kaiser.

They push Reinhard to consider creating a constitution for the people. Reinhard, dying of a mysterious illness, allows the former capital of the Alliance to remain a democracy but under the condition they don't screw it up. Before dying, he instructs Hildegarde to begin implementing a shift to a constitutional monarchy if she believes it's worth it as well as saying if his newborn son isn't up to being Kaiser, than he shouldn't. In the end, all the power in the galaxy is left in Hilde's hands. And that's where Legend of the Galactic Heroes ends.

Funny though how people think the series endorses autocracy. I mean, it wins in the end and the democracy is corrupt, but people still believe in the latter. Enough so that they're willing to fight to keep it from being wiped out, and ultimately succeed in doing so with the potential for it to spread out across the galaxy again. Someone like Rudolf is to be prevented, whereas Reinhards only come along once and a while. Do you really want to take such a gamble giving absolute power to one individual?

[dufferpuffer]

I genuinely think a big part of it is personal bias. As in - they have known an adult like Snape in their childhood, or are sensitive to the idea of an adult like Snape being mean to kids for some other reason. They have empathized with Harry hating Snape SO HARD they've put a little of themselves into Harry - and they won't let him go.

And you're supposed to put a little of yourself into Harry... but there's seeing things from his eyes, and then there's holding him captive.

"It's OOC for him to forgive Snape or care about him dying, it's bad writing" - no, it isn't. They've just ignored the parts of Harry's character they didn't agree with so they could live vicariously through the bits of him they DO agree with. While this happens with a lot of media, of course - I've noticed it seems particularly bad with Harry Potter, that people will get 'an idea' of a character and let it colour everything they do forever. It's perfectly fine to have your own perspective, to read things differently and have fun with that... but then they go and claim the books are 'poorly written' because it doesn't line up with them.

I think this is what leads to so many people in so many corners of this fandom saying they 'don't even like canon'.

One can argue that the books are poorly written for many reasons, but I'm sorry - it's not because Remus isn't as confident and reliable as they think he is in their heads, yknow...? (like I see this relatively frequently as a Remus fan. That his relationship with Tonks was bad because 'it turned him into an asshole' or whatever. 'Why would Remus ever abandon a pregnant wife' because he is Remus Lupin...? He explains it quite well.)

It's probably the WORST with Albus Dumbledore. People decide he is a powerful god in the story - but because so many bad things happen, it would make him an uncaring, flippant, cruel god who cares about literally nobody ever and enjoys suffering if it means he gets his way - which is always self-serving. You'd need to ignore MOST of what he says and does and only look at what happens to others... and just blanket blame him for it. Even if he is ignorant of it happening, tried to help, had decent reason to stand by... or simply shows genuine remorse.

Truly unhinged stuff. - "Albus only used Harry because he wanted to be the one to ultimately take down Voldemort using him like a tool." - "Albus carefully constructed the death of the Potters to make sure every member of the Marauders and Snape were in the particular positions they ended up in so he could manipulate them all later." - "Albus only cared about power and looking good to fuel his ego, so he caused problems so he could look like he was fixing them."

Fun theories, sure - like that Hagrid was a Death Eater, or Albus is actually Ron... they can make entertaining stories in their own right. A 'what if' scenario. But people BELIEVE them.

"Obviously it wasn't the Authors intention - but that's what she wrote" But it's not...? Thinking it is - how does that not ruin the entire narrative...? Just like thinking Snape was irredeemably horrible: doesn't that ruin everything every single book was building up to...?

I resent getting dragged into the discourse but it's wild to me that there are people out there who read the HP books and laud Harry for being brave and having a big heart and redeeming the wizarding world with his unusually great ability to love, yet can't comprehend how he could learn to appreciate Snape's sacrifice.

I'm very specifically thinking of the fact that Harry watches Snape die. Snape, who is lying on the floor, gripping Harry's robes, and whose eyes Harry is looking into and seeing the life leave. I don't understand how people can humanize some fictional characters and treat them as if they were real and completely dehumanize another. Not even for Snape's sake, but for Harry's sake, do these people not understand what it is to watch someone die? What's the expectation, that the Capacity For Love Posterchild protagonist steps out of character and doesn't care about the guy he watches bleed out and die suffering because you, as a reader, don't like him?

Which is it? Does Harry have a huge capacity to love or not? Pick a lane. Either you value this character trait in Harry or you don't. But you have to take or leave everything it comes with, otherwise you're a hypocrite. Or maybe illiterate.

I just don't GET it.

[well-dressedwords]

Lingering questions: LBFaD

Siming:

While she has some very important lines and roles in the show, the thing I’m left thinking about is how Chengheng thought it would go if he ever did get together with Xiao Lanhua. I mean, was he just going to continue letting her think her master was more interested in roaming the mortal realm than visiting Xiao Lanhua? Was he going to reveal that she’d been locked up with her (awesome) dragon husband? 

How was he thinking that would go? There’s no way Xiao Lanhua would be content with her master being exiled. Though I’m sure she’d forgive him as her character has forgiven worse. 

And what were the shitty emperor’s thoughts here? I’m curious if he just exiled her as quickly and thoughtlessly as he does everyone else, but Siming has an important role?!? And even if Xiao Lanhua is doing a great job as her disciple, if you lose her (which he certainly didn’t spare a thought for  when he was about to spear her), who is going to do the job? 

Is this lack of forethought or lack of care? I almost wish there was a more nefarious reason behind leaving Xiao Lanhua to do the job by herself - she can be intimidated by the higher immortals to do what they want (at least in their minds). 

Consequences of defying fate:

If we go with the straightforward, defying fate = death, which I’ve seen posited somewhere, then Xiao Lan Hua’s death was both the ultimate love sacrifice and also the result of changing Changheng’s fate book (which was only possible also because of love.). That would also account for Chidi Nuzi’s death sacrifice (for bringing Rong Hao back to life), Dongfang’s death for meddling with Xiao Lanhua/Xiyun’s fate book, Rong Hao’s death for screwing with Chidi’s, and potentially even Danyin’s death in the mortal realm for trying to prevent Changheng destiny from happening. I am curious if Siming allowing all these fates to be changed (specifically Rong Hao’s and Xiao Lanhua’s) resulted in her facing any consequences as well? Or does it take direct action for the punishment to kick in? She reminds me a bit of Yuuko in xxxHOLiC, not allowed to truly intervene but giving just enough help to people so they can change fate. 

There’s the flip side - that of the prophecy. “That those who are able to see it are the ones who can make it happen” - Danyin is the major player for making it possible for Changheng to go to the mortal realm and get married to Xiao Lanhua, and even for exposing Xiao Lanhua’s true identity to the Fairy court so that Changheng’s life is spared so they can later have the wedding procession. 

Obviously, Dongfang has his contribution in that, too. 

Unresolved or unused plot lines:

What happened to Danyin and Jieli’s father? Did he manage to turn himself in? Was he later released? 

How many other cross couples have there been, if even a high immortal fairy managed to secretly have kids with a Moon tribe woman? How did he explain where Danyin came from in the first place?? At least his wife could make up a story (if she’d needed to) of being abandoned by her lover. I don’t think the reverse would hold water?

Are Siming and Changyuan released from exile/ finally exit themselves after all this goes down? I know in the novel at least they get to reunite with Xiao Lanhua when Dongfang Qingcang is reviving her, but that’s not how the drama plotline went. I just want her foster mom to dote on her again and let Xiao Lanhua have one other person she can be herself with! 

Also, Siming and Changyuan’s two kids. Personal headcannon is they already have the kids, but Siming was putting them safely behind a ward when Dongfang Qingcang and Changheng visited. If they had 1,000 years of exile together, at some point they probably decided kids might be a fun way to relieve the boredom. 

The fact that we don’t get any Danyin and Xunfeng interaction (in terms of romance) is so sad. Xunfeng needs to be flipped on his head by love just like his brother was, and Danyin deserves to finally have a requited love. 

Shangque and Jieli’s resolution - would’ve liked to see more about that. 

When does Lord Dong come out of seclusion and punish/strip his oldest son of his powers and position? And if that doesn’t happen, can the rest of the rational high immortals take him down? 

If Xiao Lanhua spends her 500 years of waiting in Cangyan Hai, surely she and Xunfeng get to talk and reconcile/forgive. It would be hilarious to see Xunfeng bumbling through trying to befriend his sister-in-law while handling the chaos of 100,000 men returning to their domain. 

Also, with 100,000 men back home, can you imagine the population boom in the following years? Those are real political problems of supply and demand to figure out! Would love to see someone explore that in fic, honestly. Xunfeng is probably longing for the day his brother returns!