#and they say 'oh well people dont care about this'
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merry christmas my gift to you is telling a terrible tale since I think enough time has passed (ie over a decade) that i can tell you this without exploding.
when i was like 12 and starting out with art, i was so excited to open commissions just like a ✨real artist✨ and it being deviantart in the 2010's, within about a month i got someone asking for furry inflation fetish art. being a kid and having no sex ed, let alone the insanely specific sex ed that would be needed for me to understand what that is, i didnt flag it as inappropriate. I thought it would just be a "cool anatomy exercise like ✨real✨ artists do!" i was so ready and i took it on for 200 llamabucks or w/e the onsite currency was at the time. i did it, i drew it, whatever. well sure enough after posting it i quickly learned what furry inflation art actually was and i was mortified. being in like.....7th grade i was still terrified of sex and i was worried about my parents finding out so i took the entire sketchbook and buried it under my mattress. I lived in fear for months afterwards and felt like i deserved to be shot for falling for it and making something sinful.
the proceeding events happen in a confusing haze because my mother is an utterly puzzling woman so some suspension of disbelief is required but believe me when i say. i wish this was apocryphal. I dont know how or why, but some how some way my mom not only finds the sketchbook under my mattress, goes through the entire thing, finds the one singular offending sketch, then in a concerning mystery i will invest not a single iota of effort to solve due to the implications, immediately clocked that it was sexual fetish art. the one saving grace of a spherical wolf being niche enough that people wouldnt understand the dark deed i had done was out the window. She rips the page out, goes downstairs and parades it to the rest of the family like: "oh my god! look what ____ drew! lets all look at this! lets all look at this right now and laugh at it!" even with just this, i'm full on bursting into heavy hiccuping tears. as a kid this was the ultimate nightmare. you did something bad, you did something really bad, and your primary authority figure not only found it, but is now making sure everyone else you care about also knows the horrible shameful thing you did. except. there was something i couldnt have fathomed at the time that was about to get much, much worse.
my grandfather was dying of parkinson's at the time. when my mother took the sketch and displayed it to everyone like an auctioneer with a high ticket item, i ran out of the room sobbing so i never saw what happened to the blue inflated wolf with punk bangs. Well we all went to visit grandpa. we're all sitting around grandpa who used to be a famous local artist and was a big inspiration to me as a kid. and my mom goes "hey. ____ also wants to be an artist. Do you want to see what they drew?" and you'll never fucking guess what she pulls out of her pocket. hes barely able to turn and look over only to see that goddamn motherfucking wolf again. unlike before where i was crying so hard i couldn't breathe i remember being dead silent and stone still in shock. i dont think i blinked for 5 minutes but when i got up i threw up in the bathroom lol. I cant remember how but this time i did actually get the sketch back and i tore it to pieces and buried it in the yard. it haunted me for YEARS
but anyway now i have a memory of my mother showing my dying grandfather furry inflation art that i accidentally made when i was in middle school because i wanted a rainbow llama badge on deviantart.
#the ?? good news is although she knew (again not even attempting to unpack that) what it was no one else did#so i remember my family just being like 'why are you showing us this i dont get it'#while i was crying so hard i was about to pass out in the corner
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oh dang okay i see there have been some developments since i made this post.
i appreciate everyone being considerate and sharing advice here! All that said, i feel i should say im. not actually, personally worried about/in distress about the idea of smosh cast discovering my fics. Like i wouldnt be THRILLED about direct confirmation of them reading it/them directly trawling through AO3 or very active in the smosh rpf AO3, but that has more to do with my general feelings on "its beneficial to have fan spaces in which the creators/actors/etc are not expected to be active/participating/monitoring", moreso for fandom/content in which the content is, in some form, a live persons persona/life. Like I would die a little inside but I am not actually in distress about it. I post everything I've written with the understanding that it's posted publically and with filtering/placement such that anyone can see it if they so wish, they won't if they don't want to, and if they do, they can, and it's out of my hands at that point. If I'm truly uncomfortable about it being seen by certain parties, I wouldnt post it, or would put more effort into filtering access. And in general I support this as an approach! 👍
That said, I am mostly having fun/leaning into hyberbole here. I do appreciate people trying to be helpful, and in that vein for other folks sincerely worried:
I definitely want to reiterate some of what is being said, particularly re: everyone involved/the subjects here are adults with some familiarity navigating online presence and notoriety; they are all adults experienced with and ideally capable of curating their own online experience. And while I would argue it is to everyone's benefit to think about your conduct online and be considerate with what you say and how you act, the biggest element, if you are worried about causing harm, is making sure your conduct gives them the option to not see what you're saying. I post RPF fic and tag it appropriately here and on AO3. I'm probably not ever going to go and fuck around with RPF/speculative commentary in the comment sections of the cast's unrelated posts. If I am curating an environment or a mindset I am uncomfortable with persisting outside of my intended space, I want to be aware of that. But in general, all of the Smosh casts are adults with the means and agency to faciliate and take care of themselves and curate their spaces/make their own choices, and it's a disservice to both me and them to disregard that. If someone expressed extreme discomfort about RPF fic about them- as would be their right, I probably wouldnt write about them! But as a personal choice, and less because I don't think they'd be able to avoid it the way I post it.
This whole discussion can spiral out into a bajillion discussions about fan conduct in fan spaces and moderation and etc that I. dont really want to get into. But. In general I'll say that it's very fair to not want the cast to see what you're writing about them. But also I'd recommend everyone to treat the internet as it is- aka, a place where folks can and will do what they want to do when they can, and your biggest responsibility is more ensuring that you do what you can to curate your space and actions, instead of pre-empting everything that other people, with agency, might do.
Anyway i might have lost the plot here a little. point being. Im not existentially concerned about it, although Amanda lurking on ao3 Does Instill Me With Deep Horror, and I hope folks who are can figure out a method or model of thinking that works for them, and thank you to folks trying to be helpful. 👍
also on a lighter note i disagree with the tumblr vs ao3 bit but only in a joking way because tumblr search, for me, historically. is a menace. yes even with the search hacks. ah well. 🫡
i know ive made my stance on "i need the smosh cast to Not See My RPF Fic Ever and if they do i think i need to leave" clear. But, actually. I think we need to get Amanda on AO3. Yes I would need to evacuate and possibly torch all my fics in a panic and etc etc. But it would be worth it so we could be blessed with more of Amanda's crack fics. I think it would be worth it.
#hello im not sober this is not cut down properly as a result#wild thing to come back to. anyway i dont particularly want to get involved in essays about this so i might not speak on it much after#but felt i should clarify lmao#perhaps i will regret posting this later but oh well#if i decide to torch my fics its a personal choice thing rather than a sweeping generalization on morality of my actions yk#not that you SHOULD take sweeping morality generalizations from me too seriously im just Some Guy (gender neutral) on the internet#anyway. yeah#im ot actually worried! i am going 😬 at a secret amanda fic if only bc of the whole 'creator direct presence in fan spaces' thing.#but it IS very funny as a concept 😌 also truly amanda SHOULD write more crackfic i support that wholeheartedly. Let Amanda Do Coworker RPF.
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like im just genuinely sad about it lol. like im genuinely sad.
#like i want to be clear i enjoy bl00dline fine#but you have one guy destroy multiple teams on his own#and then give him the title match and play up the 10 year wily vet champions as the sad doomed underdogs the entire time#they dont fucking care about a division. they dont.#theres so many fucking good teams right now busting their ass#and have been busting their ass for years#and the only way they know how to use the belts on either show is#'uhhh...... stable??? hype.... other guy???'#they are on THE SAME FACTIONS AS THEY WERE FOR YEARS WHEN UNIFIED#THE SAME TWO FUCKING FACTIONS#and then people use the matches for piss breaks because it doesnt fucking mean anything#and they say 'oh well people dont care about this'#you MAKE them not care you MAKE the belts fucking meaningless#its so sad going from being the little kid with posters of teams all over their walls#watching these teams main event shows with matches that are now STAPLES of the entire industry that hadn't been seen in this country before#to just.... people not giving a fuck.#im done. sorry. i just. idk. i care about this dumb shit and im at that point again where its like why bother giving a fuck.#brays dead and the only thing i care about to hold onto is meaningless.#sam watches wrasslin
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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What I love about Hellboy and Abe Sapien's dynamic in the comics is that, if you came into this blind, you'd expect Abe to be the voice of reason or the straight man to Hellboy's impulsive and hotheaded personality. But no, Abe is more often than not the crazy one. Hellboy would deal with fighting evil monsters and bad guys by just sighing and getting it over with, while Abe is going rabid over tearing the creature apart when he does get into a fight. Hellboy acts like it's a 9-to-5 job and will reasonably talk things out with a guy that had nearly killed him before, Abe acts like a madman in a slaughter house and his first instinct is to shoot first kill second and ask third. They're both insane, but on completely different levels.
#wheres that one comic where abe gets into a mission and has to tear down a monster with an axe#then at the end when hellboy appears and sees abe going ham while covered in blood. he's like ''oh hey abe. good job you're doing there''#hellboy was not even worried for a second. he trusts abe to handle things on his own#they both trust each other to do their job but they also know when they can handle a fight on their own and will help if needed.#their trust and bond with each other is so implicit but speaks volumes. they dont need to say anything. they just know#we talk so much about hellboy being like. an alright guy and a whole lot kinder than the world treats him. and that's right#but it really does make Abe look fucking batshit wild in comparison because of it#the entirety of the abe sapien comics is that the guy is on his hinges and the only thing keeping him sane before was his job (which is#debatable.) and the bprd. mostly hellboy and liz and kate and roger. johan and ben are a weird case but he does kinda care about them#i love abe btw. he's such an interesting critter. absolutely crazy maniac of a guy.#tbf i dont blame him considering his backstory. if i went through some of the shit he did; i would not be sane either#also. the moments post hellboy's death in the comics where abe is trying to deal with his passing but never directly says anything about it#until he was confronted by hellboy in his dream. thats the cool bit yknow. we dont need to be told Abe was grieving about hellboy#we just knew he wasn't handling it well. using present tense when talking about hellboy to other people. avoiding saying his name.#its great stuff#the fire burns#hellboy#hellboy comics#abe sapien
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Knitting a freehand bag and started wondering how often people even use patterns, anyway. So--how often do you use a pattern when you make things ? This include knitting/crochet/sewing/weaving/nalbinding/bobbin lace/tatting/etc but also things like woodworking, cooking, and baking. If you want to just pick the thing you do most often that's fine.
I personally do not use patterns as I find them far more confusing than just figuring out the construction of an item and simply making it. I do very occasionally browse ravelry for inspiration but have downloaded maybe 2. In the 5 or so years since I joined. And have followed exactly 1, which I modified every single aspect of. In my defense, dyslexia.
#poll#knitting#crochet#weaving#tatting#sewing#quilting#nalbinding#bobbin lace#cooking#baking#theres just SO MANY patterns out there and i kind of dont understand why... who is using them ???#they are so hard to follow even when written well#i get that thats dyslexia talking and not true for most people but it still baffles me#i also dont follow cooking/baking recipes but in a different way#the issue for crafting patterns is that i cant read and so i cant figure out what the hell im supposed to do#but recipes are usually lists and dont have tons of abbreviations and dozens of steps#so i can kind of read recipes but i just like doing my own thing and also have been burned by recipes before#so even if i try following the recipe as hard as possible i will inevitably change some things#like what about the whimsy. also i will use a butter wash after taking this out of the oven i dont care that it says eggs#and while i dont do legos anymore i was the same with that too. we got a kit once and my sister loved following each step#oh my god. the worst. i would covertly make other things with the remaining pieces while she assembled the thing#i do think that were i not dyslexic i would still not follow patterns#like i said i just prefer to do my own thing most of the time
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One of my favorite character moments (and the thing that immediately made me love him) for Apollo that I think is so intensely important to understanding him goes way back to Case 2 of Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice.
In that case, Trucy stages a “kidnapping” by using Mr. Hat to distract the court, and when Apollo rushes out into the lobby and sees her safe and sound…
He cries.
He’s so overcome with worry and relief that he cries for a girl he barely knows. A girl who, for all intents and purposes, almost cost him the badge he worked so hard to gain. A girl who focused most of the time they did know each other teasing him and not taking him seriously.
And yet, he cries for her anyway. He sobs, even.
It’s a throwaway moment, likely done for comedic effect, but it really hit me, and Trucy’s immediate earnest response telling Apollo not to cry and then him doubling down with protective rage on her behalf hit it home harder, y’know?
Apollo Justice, at his core, cares. Despite his surly attitude a lot of the time, this is nonetheless a defining trait of his. He cares, so much, and so easily, and we see it firsthand right there as he cries for a near stranger.
(And I also think it’s worth noting that the first time we really, truly see Trucy lower her performance mask and cry herself…it’s to Apollo.)
#apollo justice#trucy wright#ace attorney#rambling hours#actually I can go on and on about these two and their relationship and their characters and how alike and different they are simultaneously#two faves right here frfr#but yeah Apollo crying in case 2 for Trucy made me love him and then he did it AGAIN for Vera at the end of the game#he’s emotional!!!!! he cares!!!!!!! he tries protecting himself with anger and sarcasm but he feels so much it bursts out of him anyway#oh mannnn the way he and Trucy are parallels in certain regards#the way they both latch on to people so quickly and with everything they are#the way both pretend they DONT care in different ways when they very much do#their abandonment issues and inherent abilities do NOT mix well with how much they care for those around them#Apollo gets by through pushing people away or keeping them at arms length#and it’s notable that he only willingly lets people close when those people are hurting (ie clay)#Trucy meanwhile is the opposite in that she brings EVERYONE into her sphere#and in doing so keeps them at the same arms length away that Apollo does#they’re so interesting to think about I love them dearlyyyyy#I LOVE inherently lonely characters#gramarye family stays the most interesting family to me despite basically all of the older members being Awful in some way#and I would even say they’re cursed in some capacity but u didn’t hear that from me lol#also side note but turnabout corner is GOOD actually
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friend notoriously bad at videogames said shed play marvel rivals with me tomorrow chat if i never post after tomorrow night its because a blood vessel bursted
#marvel rivals#snap chats#AT LEAST WE’LL HAVE OUR OTHER FRIEND THERE BUT god.#she funny as hell she just suddenly called me and was like ‘i saw your twitter. do you wanna play marvel rivals tomorrow’#and then she proceeds to be like ‘wait so who do you main. other than magneto’ Motherfucker with a capital M#NO I SWEAR IM NOT A ONE TRICK i really like wanda hawkeye and jeff….#NO SHE SAID ONE MORE THING SHE WAS LIKE ‘wait are charles and magneto the same guy’ and she tries to Just Kidding her wait outta it#Note whenever she says Just Kidding she’s trying to cover her ass I PROMISE I WAS LIKE /KAYLA. BE SERIOUS./#and then she was like ‘who’s the friendlier one of the two’#and then i had to hit her with the Technically People Think Theyre Both Varying Degrees Of Asshole. however charles probably wont bite you#and THEN SHE WAS LIKE ‘ok well you should draw magneto surprising charles with jollibees’ AND I. NO SHE THINKS MY EXISTENCE SURROUNDS JB#AND THIS GAL HAD THE GAUL TO BE LIKE ‘oh do you know how to make it since its a big part of your culture’#i was flabbergasted frankly. ‘oh you guys really like jollibees so you know how to make it right’ i screamed#LIKE ????ISJAJSJSJSJ i cant stress the anomaly this girl is i wish you all could meet her so you understand me#AND LIKE SURE I LOVE JBS but she only ever mentions puto and jollibees to me like kayla. there is more to PH culture than that sjKakss#its really funny with the ??? shit she says i cant lie#she was all ‘oh is the winter soldier in the game ? you should play him hes cool :) and from jersey :) ok well his actor is but—‘ LIKE DKSKS#‘snap arent you being a little mean’ no trust and believe AND I HAVE WITNESSES#i have stupid amounts of stories with her. like she tried to excuse being dumb by sayin shes a capricorn#we’re literally both capricorns and she was born two days before me I Cannot. Do You Understand Me.#anyways. she said i should stream me playing rivals would anyone care about that#i kinda wanted to …. i think it’d be fun…. plus i miss streaming :(#ok byebye for now my bros almost home and i said id let him play so i could work on comms#i mean thats assuming he wants to play. if not uhhhhhhh#anyways BYE. ill tell yall how the game goes tomorrow night if i dont die of a stroke#again at least our other friend’ll be there so someone can laugh at my pain
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sorry for liking davejade in 2023 btw its in a cool way though
#hs#davejade#like that one person said bi4bi cool silly girl and her lame ass court jester bf who enjoy each others company a lot#“its boring” well not everything has to be conflict sometimes it can be two people really vibing#and being good foils to each other and just sort of being like a lock and key#i dont dislike davekat but i felt like they bickered too much which is Funny dont get me wrong#but i like davejade for different reasons#in that i feel like dave is at his most heartfelt with her#bc jade doesnt do anything to warrant snarkiness. she doesnt make him uncomfortable and that earns his trust like a lot#ppl say its boring cause its a mf ship and they dont get them like i do#and my answer to that as an agender person is who the fuck cares#i hate ppl dismissing mf ships out of hand like…hey bi ppl exist. and even if they were straight they still got a good dynamic#of care and interest towards each other#hes not her knight in shining armor bffr. she has uhhh fucking GUN#they are Equals#jade slaps the shit outta people on more than one occasion lol#they infodump to EACH OTHER and they both listen#remember when jade wanted to infodump to john about physics remember that#dave would eat that up like oh damn that so dope and tie it back to time or whatever. special relativity#since space and time are fundamentally related#sorry im running on fumes rn i didnt sleep last night#ALSO THEY HAVE MATCHING ALCHEMIZED OUTFITS#jade’s dead shuffle dress and dave’s four aces suited both use a midnight crew poster as ingredients#i should draw them together in that mspa style#maybe theyre not even romantic. who said ships had to be. its short for relationship#well theres multiple kinds of relationships. what if they were queerplatonic
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Maybe instead of trying to convince people who don't want kids to have kids we should instead be trying to convince people who want kids to not have kids because some of them are definitely not ready to have kids or should not have kids.
#text#the thing is that having kids is permanent#you are putting new lives into other peoples hands and some of those hands are the wrong ones#and maybe we should care more about the possible bad parents then the good ones that dont want to have kids#imo not having kids when you dont want them is the most responsible thing you can do#and knowing that you cannot take care of kids in the way they deserve and not having kids#is also responsible#the moment you have to say “Oh the parental instincts will kick in” you've already lost#you're hoping for mysterious instinct to kick in#well#some people dont have those or their instincts are BAD#you shouldn't bring life into this world unless you know for sure you want it.#none of this “just wait” crap. you dont wait for a life to be born to decide if you actually want them or not#thats a life long commitment. you better have fucking plans for it and you better fucking want it
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I'm kinda tired of dungeon meshi fans blatantly misinterpreting Kabru's goals, motivations, and character so they can ship him with Laios...like obviously it's awesome if you enjoy Laikabu but can you nooot twist Kabru's intentions for involving himself with the guy who constantly triggers his monster trauma and pisses him off so bad he gets brain damage so that he turns into "the guy who wants to suck Laios's dick" as his entire character? I've even seen people cut off Kabru's words to make it seem like he is admiring Laios because it would disrupt that narrative
#how can you think marcille hates laios and kabru wants to fuck him that's not.......canon.....#every time I see stuff of them it’s people being like 'oh kabru loves it so much when laios reminds him of his traumatic past'#be it his eyes/monsters/or the succubus thing 'he just HAS to fuck laios'#kui was noooooot intending for kabru to be lusting after that man!!!#i love laios but come ON why dont you actually care about KABRU tooooo#for l4bru to actually work one of them would have to suppress a big part of themselves and its ALWAYS on kabru it’s so insufferable#it's just like how some people misconstrued fem!toshiro blushing about laios to be her crushing on him when it was obv the same discomfort#but it made the microaggressions even worse because of the gender difference AS WELL as the culture difference#SIGH#i prommis ryoko kui did not create kabru so he can think about sucking laioss humungous donger all day fhsdkfhskjh#L4ikabu is the worst case I’ve seen of people twisting things for their ship because it’s literally just not true…#blatant misreading of the text goes crazy!!!!#like sure they're foils but what about the actual dynamic...w8 don't think about that actually cuz yoikes lol#obviously not threatening anyone who ships them please just stop saying it's canon oh my g#pwease actually read what kabru says he lays it out really clearly and has a super interesting backstory that drives his actions 🥲#i dont expect anyone to read this because im not using a tag but if u do then...🫢😯#i dont understand y ppl like it so much when laios ignores kabru so hard KABRU DESERVES BETTER#I’ve never felt like this about any ship before wow it just makes me 🫷
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍
#speculation nation#i am not a fucking baker so something always goes wrong when i make these pies 😭😭😭#but i am craving my grandma's pumpkin pies... i gotta bake them myself if i want them rn...#see the thing is ive previously bought pre-baked like. graham crusts#but i was like 'that crust sucks lets get a different thing'#so i got tbis dough shit that i put into pans. the box said to bake it. and so i was like ok cool#then as they were in the oven i looked at the pumpkin pie recipe for starting the filling#and then saw that it says 'unbaked shells' and so 😥😥😥😥#but too late now and it worked fine with the graham. and well. the filling is what i care about the most.#the crusts are just an excuse for having pie filling.#anyways i did set off the alarm. i think it's bc the oven was on so hot#the box says 450 which is hotter than i ever usually do. the pies themselves ask for 350#so well i turned the oven off and i have the microwave fan running#which oh yeah the fucking handle to my microwave fucking broke. it fucking broke.#i think i'll duct tape it or smth lol. microwave itself works fine still. and i dont want people in my apartment.#it's just the bottom part but it sure did just. splinter off. that shit is Broke broke.#and i scared the shit outta my cats And me with that damned alarm. and now i am just waiting.#calming down some. chilling the crusts. soon i will resume making the pie filling.#it's not like it even takes much time i am just. Nervous now.#i wanna let the oven cool off more b4 i have it going for like 45 mins lol#the crusts are kinda ugly. one of them is inflated on the bottom. these pies r going to be disasters.#so long as they still taste good......thats what i care about the most...#maybe my crusts will end up nuclear... if that happens tho ill just eat the filling out of the crust... its fine... ill be fine...#😭😭😭😭😭😭 why is everything so hard
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I love how you can purposely cater you internet experience to block most politics so you can mentally detox since your media consumption was becoming unhealthy, and still have a whole week of attempting to regain your hope in humanity become completely undone by wanting to eat lunch with your mom (ramble in tags, feel free to ignore; take care of yourselves first <3)
#politics#us politics#tags so people can block this post#it's just so cool and awesome that things work like that#i was genuinely doing so much better#i was engaging with news in a healthier way#i was fixing my focus on what to do moving forward#but then i had the audacity to want to eat lunch with my mother instead of holing up in my room#she turned on fox news and i tuned it out... talking about stuff with them always turns into debates and its mentality exhausting#so i generally just keep my mouth shut unless asked#but then she started commenting on the news out loud#and so being a personable person i did my best to respond#they were talking about mass deportation of ''illegal criminals'' and she asked out loud why they havent sent them away already#so i said “oh well its expensive and there's not always places that are willing to take them”... left my opinion on the sentiment out of it#that was the WRONG thing to say apparently#devolved into a debate where she ultimately said “ok but it was a rhetorical question and i didnt actually want an answer”#how was i supposed to know that????? im the only person in the room??? thats not what rhetorical questions are used for??????#so we moved on from the topic#she said something along the lines of “pff and people come in illegally and still want to seek asylum”#so again i speak up#told her (with a quick google search to back it up) that people can either apply for asylum at the border or after entering illegally#as long as its within a year of entering#that was ALSO THE WRONG THING TO SAY#she reiterated that she still wasn't asking and added “im just watching the news; i dont want to google anything”#and im like...#...one; she mentioned in her “thinking out loud” rambles that she's aware that i dont like to talk about this stuff with her#but that this stuff is important to talk about... which i took as a “why won't you talk with me?”#so ouch#but also... whY ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS IF YOU DON'T CARE TO VERIFY ANY OF IT#im out of tags to ramble in but I'm still so hurt and mad and i have been reminded how little people care about compassion and factuality
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one panic attack and breathing excercise later,,,,,,,,, i think i need to write some of my thoughts down before moving on
first of all, as i said in the notes earlier i honestly should've expected something like this to happen. even if the king sounded pathetic each time we fought him, i should've kept in mind how powerful he is and that he still froze a bunch of people in time and was going to do that with the whole country, no matter the reason. but the most important thing to recognize is probably the fact that perceived emotional weakness didn't mean that it would be possible to convince him, didn't mean that he wasn't cruel. it's not like anything could've been changed with my knowledge, i just feel silly for walking right into that with no suspicions. well, lesson learned, can't stop the king with words
second of all - the king was talking about something called wish craft, saying how he smells the sweet scent right before that, and claiming that sif's using this craft right after. i guess this is what it's actually about, huh? not time craft, but wish craft? while i still know nothing about it the only assumption i can make is the symbolic one - you know, wishing upon a star? jhhgfk
but could sif really wish for something that would cause the loop, or is it someone else's wishing's fault, or both? even if sif could, i doubt they'd be able to remember. i mean, they congratulated themselves on reaching the 20th loop at the 24th, and i don't even know if it's a bug or a feature💀
third of all - no matter how much i pretend like i'm unfazed i think i still need to address that. HOLY SHIT was i terrified for a second there. especially for those few seconds when i thought i actually WILL have to watch everyone get violently murdered, with no easy way to loop back in sight...... the moment i saw the unusually big-fonted laughter i knew i did something wrong......... it was almost a feeling of amusement with how much i did not expect any of this to happen, with how unbelievably cruel the scene had became in such a short time, the kind of terror that you don't believe at first because well there's no way, right?
but i guess this wish craft is really a thing sif can control, since thinking about looping very hard really did loop us back! i don't think this was like any other loop, it was definitely directly from a wish. the king said that he "wished" to be like this as well, does that mean he wields wish craft rather than time craft, or perhaps both?? lots to think about
also, funny how sif assumed that loop is going to be an ass about this:
right before this dialogue option popped up i thought "i know you told me all about how the king can't be trusted but don't you dare to go i-told-you-so at me right now, that would be The Bitch Move ever--"
.........aaaand they did it! cool🙂 "rude to them" how about RUDE TO ME
#isat liveblog#i dont care what kinda sad backstory or tragic future plot importance they might have#this bitchiness is inexcusable imma stab them one of these days#anyway.........#the king be like “i will preserve vaugarde; the perfect country with perfect and welcoming people”#also the king when some vaugardians aren't nice and welcoming to him:#“oh well. guess i have to brutally murder you all to teach my compatriot a lesson”#okay selfish bitch that doesnt actually care about vaugarde or its people or anything except your own ego???🙄🙄🙄#you know what#tell me am i crazy or did our island only leave behind petty bitches???? lmfaooooo so sad#all the cool stuff like constellations and even all the normies went down with it#n the only things left of stars are the bitchiest star they could find and literal dust#rip😔😔😔💀💀🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🥀🥀🥀#okay maybe ill read these chars intentions with empathy and compassion some other time but rn im a little hater (rightly so) (deserved)#to balance it out tho: i didnt add it to the post but the way everyone was absolutely desperate to save bonbon </3#the things they say at the peak of despair </3 aaaah absolutely heartbreaking </3
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the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid
#people see my posts and vauge post about it saying UM WELL I DONT HATE COURTNEY SO WHY DID YOU SAY THAT#im not fucking talking about you oh my gOD IM SO TIRED OF SEEING IT. sorry i try to be normal but why have discussions around her regressed#like its gotten so much worse WHYYY OH MY GODDD. “omfg courtney fans always jump to courtney haters being misogynists”#no i jump to you being a fucking weirdo for caring so much which makes me raise my eyebrows#i literally enjoy other people having different opinions about characters i like and dislike bc everyone echoing me would be so boring#but people never like her for the valid reasons there are to dislike her and jump on her in crazy fucking ways. BEEE NORMALLL BE FUCKING N#ps talks#jesus fuck i try not to say shit like this over and over and over again because; again; i dont like seeing my own opinions everywhere#i dont want people to see my opinions and repeat it every 5 seconds even though i dont think i have that much influence#its just when i see people posting about my posts saying that im weird for defending a character so hard it drives me nuts bc#it feels like people lost the damn plot so hard. you have to reach so far to think i fucking care if people dislike courtney BECAUSE I DONT#IVE SAOID THIS 5 BILLION TIMES I ENJOY SEEING CHARACTERS IN DIFFERENT LIGHT. AS LONG AS YOUR OPINION ISNT FUCKING WEIRD#sorry im getting so annoyed i need to go to sleep i havent eaten anything in like 20 hours
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